#i was crying all day and then finally got the chance to scroll through quote tweets

[triankletatt]

.

[amyscascadingtabs]

this is sappy but whatever. i wrote most of this before the season started (which is why i come off as reasonable and somewhat mentally stable about all of this) but felt appropriate to post it now as a thank you. ❤️

i have vivid memories from the night b99 was cancelled. the news came late evening my time, and i had been editing fic and checked twitter and there it was. loud and clear. i don’t remember which site it was but the picture was jake and amy with their wedding cake and that made everything feel even worse.

i remember freaking out even though i had been prepared, because those last days before the news hit on tumblr were... panicked. but i still freaked out to the extent that i ran outside in my pajama pants and hoodie and blue plastic slippers and called my mom, and then i walked up and down the streets where i lived in the darkness and cried in frustration as she tried to talk me down. i remember there were random guys with motorcycles out? but i was too hysterical to care. i’m pretty sure i screamed something to my mom about ”HOW CAN BIG BANG THEORY GET A BILLION SEASONS BUT THIS SHOW GETS CANCELLED????”

i know everyone who was in the fandom at the time has their cancellation story. what played the biggest part in mine was the fact that i felt like i hadn’t had enough time. really, i had only just become active in the fandom, only just started interacting with people on here and writing my first few fics, but i was absolutely loving it. it was giving me happiness again after a long period of emptiness and depressive feelings. when it was cancelled, what made me feel the worst was the fact that i’d had so little time – to make friends, write fic and react to episodes together. i felt deeply jealous of everyone who’d gotten more.

thinking about it coming to an end now has made me remember that night and those feelings of jealousy. because i did get more time. i got three more years. that night, i remember asking for just one, for a half, for anything, and i got three years.

and these three years have been a whirlwind of emotions and feelings and episodes and debates and discussions and gifsets and fanfic and asks and having this as my safe space while pretty much everything changed around me in the outside world, and i just want you all to know that i have never taken a single day of them for granted. this show could have been taken from me before i’d ever gotten the chance to grow with it and alongside it, and instead it was part of my life for three whole years.

i have a really, really good memory (four time quiz champion anyone? just me?okay <3), and i remember so much of it in such detail, and it's so weird to think about how long it's been when it also feels like yesterday.

i remember my first comment on peraltiago parenting experience, my first episode-related fic, the insane high after the renewal, staying up all night to watch the wedding live. i remember writing fanfiction on the beach while on vacation in greece, on a plane to berlin, at home on my parents balcony late late at night. i remember the honeymoon episode title being released, s6 starting filming again, the excitement over every little piece of news and finding about the cast directing. i remember labor fic and christmas fics and when i scroll back to pictures of my paris trip in january 2019 it's interspersed with a billion pictures of andy at the golden globes. i remember lighting my fairy lights in my little basement room and watching season 6 in bed at 2.30 am if it was a big episode, and watching it in the morning before fridays in high school most days. i remember writing post-ep fics during classes and on my phone on subways and trains. i remember the s7 news, and the casecation nerves and debates, and fucking kissgate. being named "the class amy santiago" by my friends when we graduated and getting a little silver paper plate to show for it. i remember the first fic exchange and inventing julian and simon santiago and i remember meeting @johnny-and-dora and eating wagamamas in manchester and talking about how simon santiago was DEFINITELY on the stairs and buying a little fake plant that i named andy plantberg (he's still in a box somewhere). i remember writing fic during slow hours in the ice cream shop i worked at. moving and putting up my framed b99 poster in my own apartment (very much still up). finding out about trying and everyone going fucking crazy. infertility fic. melissa's pregnancy news. s7 promo and standing outside my job the very first day and texting siân "AMY HAS TO PEE!!!!!???" because that was in the promo and we knew there were pregnancy tests involved in the first episode. the crazy happiness of s7 finally premiering. everyone going crazy about jake and amy deciding to start trying and how i could quote the scene verbatim the next few days. the week leading up to trying, what turned out to be the last normal week before the pandemic. the fucking MESS i was after that. the following week and ding dong and crying with happiness. being dizzy with hyperfixation joy the following day and barely feeling aware of the covid pandemic for the first few days because i was just thinking about jake and amy having a baby. getting through the first few weeks mostly because of b99. admiral peralta and finding out we were having a BOY and not even being disappointed even though the headcanon had been the opposite for years because it was perfect. the iconic b99 quizzes. lights out and mac being born. somehow managing 475 days before season 8, coping together when we got the news about the final season, watching the cast do their final day of filming. the first stream being interrupted by a storm warning and cutting out several minutes because of course. getting to see parents peraltiago and MAC and the insane speed with which those few seconds were giffed. more b99 quizzes. the vow renewal. the finale.

i remember all of it and so much more and as much as my heart is breaking, i’m trying to remind myself that i could have gotten none of this.

brooklyn nine-nine has been such an important part of my life. and it always, always will be, forever. i could have lost it all that night, and instead i got three more years. if i'd known that when i was walking the streets outside my house in the darkness in complete panic, i would have cried with happiness.

so thank you. all of you. for everything. ❤️❤️❤️ for the friendships, the joy, the asks, the debates, the fic response, EVERYTHING. whether we've shared three years or one or less, just know that i'm so grateful.

have some random pictures i found and screenshots from my private instagram (which is inactive so don't bother) from when i started this hyperfixation. jesus lmao 😭😭😭😭 i am less insane now. no i'm not. but i express it less on instagram.

[tteokggukk]

welcome to my youtube channel → kth

✳ pairing: idol!taehyung x youtuber!reader

✳ genre: fluff, taehyung scenario, stranger to lovers, reader is an artist who posts art videos on youtube

✳ warnings: none!

✳ words: 2.9k

✳ a/n: hello, this is my second bts oneshot/scenario. i just like to write for fun but if you’d like to let me know if there’s anything i can improve on please do so! i’d love to know how to improve. anyways, i hope you enjoy!

"Hey guys, welcome to my YouTube Channel."

You spoke in front of the camera. Sets of acrylic paint were spread out across the table next to a stand that held an 18x24 inch canvas. You were in the middle of making your seventeenth video, a highly requested one at that, and deep down you were ecstatic to start working on the painting.

Never in your life did you think you would ever start a YouTube account. You always considered yourself a very shy and private person, not one to go out of their way and broadcast themselves all over the internet. Your best friends, however, were two very well-known YouTubers and always found a way to include you in their videos and live streams. Somehow people liked seeing more of you, and so you were convinced by your best friends and the audience to start your own YouTube channel.

But you weren't very accustomed to bringing a camera everywhere with you to document and share whatever was happening in your daily life, you found it too awkward and you were still camera-shy, so you decided to create content in a way that would still keep you comfortable while doing something you loved.

An art channel.

Your channel blew up pretty fast. Requests started pouring in here and there. You became known for your very calm demeanor and artistic skills, so you took this as an opportunity to sell your works online as a way to earn some extra money for your future. Occasionally, you'd do lives to talk to your fans and you were happy at the support they showed you, which only encouraged you to keep making videos.

"This was a highly requested video, and I honestly can't wait to get started," you told the camera, mentally telling yourself to insert the comments and messages you got in your DMs to paint this Adonis-like human being. The requests started coming in after you had an Instagram live where you did some quick sketches while playing some of your favorite songs in the back, and people noticed one of the songs you played was by him.

"You guys also asked if I could sell this painting, but because of the "high demand"," you spoke, adding air quotes, "I'd like to keep it up for auction so the proceeds could go to different fundraisers."

You started mixing different colors in your palette and showed everyone the picture for your reference.

"So, without further ado, today I will be painting Kim Taehyung."

"Hey guys, welcome to my YouTube Channel."

Taehyung watched as you spoke in the video, looking behind you to see a bunch of art materials. The title of the video was left ambiguously, only being named most requested video, leaving him no clue on what it was you were going to create this time.

He's been watching your videos for quite some time now, ever since your channel started rising. Art was one of his major interests and he absolutely adored the way you made your videos with the calming, ASMR-like sound of mixing paint and how you skillfully glided the brush across the canvas. On days when he found himself tired and in need of a quick way to relax, he'd subconsciously find himself binge watching videos on your channel— even repeating several videos since you were only starting. He found it fascinating, but also because he found you interesting.

Because of your channel, he even created an anonymous YouTube account just to leave nice comments on your videos along with a private Instagram account to be able to watch your lives.

Needless to say, he didn't miss that one live where you played the song Winter Bear. It made his whole night, making him sleep with a smile on his face.

"This was a highly requested video, and I honestly can't wait to get started." 

He watched as a bunch of comments started appearing onscreen popping up one by one as they gradually got faster, eventually covering you. It took a moment before it sunk in that he was the highly requested person they wanted you to paint. He paused the video, wide-eyed, before shouting in excitement. Jimin had to come in and check what the whole commotion was about.

"Y/n's going to paint me!" Taehyung exclaimed, his mouth turning into his famous boxy smile. 

"Ah, the YouTuber you really like?" Jimin smiles before sitting down next to Taehyung who continued playing the video, "I wanna see."

"You guys also asked if I could sell this painting, but because of the "high demand", I'd like to keep it up for auction so the proceeds could go to different fundraisers."

"Wow, she seems really kind," Jimin says, while Taehyung only nods, his eyes glued to the screen.

"So, without further ado, today I will be painting Kim Taehyung."

He felt his heart beat fast when you mentioned his name, and without realizing it his ears have gone all red. 

On screen, you began sketching, "You guys have also been sending me a lot of questions lately, which is why I decided to tweet about doing a q&a."

"What questions did you ask?" Jimin asked Taehyung.

"I asked her if being an artist is something she'd like to pursue," Taehyung told him.

"Ooooh, trying to get to know her," Jimin teases, "Our little Taehyungie has a celebrity crush."

Taehyung rolls his eyes but breaks out into a grin anyway, "I just respect her artistry."

"Right, okay," Jimin snickers, obviously not buying it.

Taehyung knew he was telling the truth, though. It was impossible to have feelings for someone who you only knew through a screen. He found you attractive for sure, but he of all people would know that almost no one is completely one-hundred percent themselves on screen. Genuine as you may be, there are still things that are best kept to yourself. He couldn’t lie though, if given the chance to get to know you, he’d never pass up on that offer.

"Someone asked why I don't use that much ready-made paint," You spoke on screen, "It's ‘cause I learn a lot from mixing my own colors, and also I just really enjoy it."

The painting was beginning to come together halfway through the video and Taehyung's question finally made its way to you. "Kimyeontan95 asks, ‘is painting a career you want to pursue? I love your work, by the way’."

"That was basically I love you," Jimin holds back a laugh, earning him a light punch in the arm from Taehyung.

"Thank you so much, kimyeontan95, and no, painting is just a hobby of mine and a way to earn some future savings. I actually really want to be a novelist."

Taehyung smiled after hearing you answer his question. Later on, the video was over and his portrait was complete. He hurriedly redirected himself to the link that was provided for the auction.

Something in him wanted to have that painting no matter what, so he set himself as the highest bidder and eventually had it mailed to his home where he put your work up in his room to cherish.

A day after your video was posted, you woke up to a thousand notifications from your phone. Hundreds of people were mentioning you in tweets and you had numerous missed calls from your best friends and some texts telling you to check your online art shop. You groggily scroll through your feed, a bit confused as to what was happening.

I wanted to buy this painting and I had it in my list, but now it's unavailable!

Y'ALL WHAT RICH KID SET THE HIGHEST BID TO A MILLION DOLLARS IM CRYING

@yourtwittername are you planning to sell a new collection?

a million dollar bid wtf swownwowksodiowl

Someone just bought all of @yourtwitterusername's paintings. I'm crying in broke eye—

but like what if taehyung set that bid? @yourtwitterusername

What?

I just woke up and my mentions are pouring. What is going on? You tweeted.

Thousands of replies began coming in leaving you feeling overwhelmed and confused on where to start. Everyone was telling you to check your site, and so you did. You felt your heart almost stop beating when you saw that every single artwork you had up for sale were sold out. Nothing was left behind. You checked your emails, and the confirmations were there.

How could this have happened overnight?

ALL MY WORKS ARE SOLD OUT?!?!?!?? WHO COULDVE DONET THIS??? You tweeted, hands shaking.

You felt your heart race, a wide grin that could go even wider if possible was plastered on your face. You tried to stop yourself from screaming in excitement but couldn't so you ended up jumping up and down and doing happy dances before calming down to assess the situation. Finally, you sat down in front of your laptop to see where all your works were being shipped to.

Replies started coming in.

CONGRATS YOU FIGURED IT OUT

WILL U RESTOCK

AHSKWJOA CONGRATS BB

I'M SO HAPPY FOR U

BUT Y/N WHO BOUGHT THEM ALL

Checking your emails, you discover that your art works were all bought by one person. Anonymous. There was no name and someone requested to have their personal information redacted. 

Anonymous? Surely this wasn't a joke?

The person kept their name anonymous. You tweeted and muted the notifications just to allow yourself to focus on finding out who it was that bought everything.

At the bottom of all the removed personal information, there was one username that you were sure you've heard or seen somewhere.

@ Kimyeontan95. 

Underneath the username was a short but sincere message.

"Your videos have always helped me wind down after a long, busy day. I can't express how much you inspire me with your talent and how I wish someday you'd teach me to be half as good as you, as I'm not very gifted in the painting department. I admire how you put your gifts into good things, and I very much idolize you in one way or another. This is just a small way of showing my support for you, but also because all your works are amazing and I'd love to have a small room filled with my favorite art works. I look forward to reading works of yours soon, future novelist.”

Feeling the heat creeping up on your cheeks, you smiled to yourself. The letter was definitely heartfelt and you wanted so badly to thank the person who sent it.

Later that afternoon, you decided to go on live to personally thank the anonymous buyer for buying your works and for sending that wonderful note. You fixed yourself up a little bit and pressed live as thousands of your followers began to tune in.

"Hello, everyone," you greeted, smiling. Replies with greetings started coming in and you couldn't help but chuckle at the eager messages your followers were sending. They truly made you happy.

As expected, several questions began pouring in.

"Right, so, I wanted to do this live because of what happened. As you may have noticed, all my works were suddenly sold out which definitely took me by surprise," you started, "Unfortunately the buyer left everything anonymous. They only left what I assume is a username and a short letter, which I will keep to myself for personal reasons."

@follower1WHAT

@follower2 will you keep selling your works?

@follower3 THATS SUCH A SWEET GESTURE THO OMG/

@follower4 am I the only one who thinks a secret admirer bought it

@follower5 check my YouTube channel I made a theory on who bought her works

@follower6 i rlly think it's taehyung

@follower7 I’'m so proud of you :(((

"If the person who bought all of my paintings is watching this, I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate the letter as well, you've honestly made me the happiest person on Earth," you smiled.

@follower8 AWWWWW

@follower9 ANON COME OUT

@follower10 i really wanna know what the letter says

@ Kimyeontan95 I'm glad :)

Your heart stopped at one of the replies. You took your phone immediately from its fixed position with wide eyes and began scrolling up fast because of the immediate replies coming in. Wasn't that the username?

@follower11 what's going on?

@follower12 y/n are you okay?

You could no longer find the reply so you set your phone down, fixing it back in place.

"For a second I thought the person who bought it was watching my live," you sighed and smiled nervously, "So anyways— I'd really love to express my gratitude so if they're watching, please contact me. I can't say thank you en—"

Suddenly the replies were frantic. People were sending keyboard smashes here and there. Only a few of them were actual coherent comments. "What is going on?" You asked as you began scrolling through.

@follower13 Y/N CHECK VLIVE

@follower14 TaEHYUNF IS ON LIVE

@follower15 I kNEW IT THOUGH???

@follower16 Y/N CHECK TAEHYUNGS LIVE

@follower5 Y'ALL I WAS RIGHT I SAID CHECK MY YT

Keeping your live on, you grabbed your laptop as fast as you could to check out the links being sent to your live. When it finally loaded, you could've sworn you'd have a heart attack. 

"Oh, I think she's watching me," Taehyung grinned through his live, holding his phone in front of the camera. He quickly shows the viewers his phone screen, which showed your live of you watching him through your laptop. Your eyes widened and you looked back at your phone camera that was broadcasting your live, then back at his live.

Taehyung started giggling, "I guess we're just watching each other, huh?" He smiled. Behind him were packed and unpacked parcels of paintings you recognized were yours. If it was even possible, your eyes grew even wider at this, "Oh my god," you breathed out.

"I should probably introduce myself," Taehyung spoke, "Hello everyone, I'm Kim Taehyung. How are you all doing? Today I’m planning on redecorating my room after our practice. What are the packages behind me? Oh, these are paintings I recently bought."

"Are those my paintings?" You asked out loud, though you knew the answer. 

"Are those my paintings?" Your voice echoed from Taehyung's broadcast as your live was streaming from his phone. He grinned sheepishly, "Yes, these are your works, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," You smiled, "You were the buyer?" 

You mentally slapped yourself for asking such obvious questions, but you just couldn't believe everything that was happening now.

"Yes," he chuckles, "I really love your paintings." Suddenly the sound of Jimin’s voice echoed from behind and Taehyung quickly stood up to lock the door, knowing he’d get the teasing of a lifetime if Jimin came and saw him talking to you.

"Thank you so much, I—" Your voice began to crack and your eyes welled with tears that you tried to fight back, "I really appreciate it. And the letter, that was really sweet."

"No, thank you. Wait, don't cry—" Taehyung spoke nervously.

"I'm just so happy," You laughed while wiping the tears off.

The replies from both ends were coming in like crazy. On one hand, majority of everyone watching found the whole scenario cute and started pairing you two out of nowhere, though there were a few haters on the other. It didn't really bother you, you were just so happy someone you idolized noticed your work.

"I'm glad," he was watching you with a fond smile through his phone, then the sound of the Jin’s voice began coming from outside Taehyung’s room, "Sorry for this sudden grand reveal. I really can't stay on live for too long but I'd love to keep talking to you." He spoke.

"Oh no, that's okay," You spoke fast.

"Do you mind if I send you a message? Assuming you already know the username," he asks.

"No not at all, I'd love to keep talking as well," your heart was beating erratically now. You didn't have to see your face to know how red it was becoming.

"Alright, great. Um, before I end this vlive I just wanna say you're a great artist and to all my viewers watching this, please support y/n's artworks and her channel! If I see any negative comments, I'll be taking responsibility and I'll unfortunately have my agency involved in taking those out," he spoke in a commercial tone kind of voice, "And to y/n, I'll be keeping in touch.” The door from behind him suddenly bursts open and Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook rush inside.

“You were talking to her!” Jimin shouts excitedly.

“Finally!” Jungkook claps.

“Is that why you kept the door locked?” Jin teases.

“Bye, everyone!" Taehyung quickly waves goodbye to the camera and smiles before turning the broadcast off. 

You sat there stunned, almost forgetting you were also on live. You turned to your phone which was still recording you, "That was unexpected."

Suddenly, a notification in your DMs popped up. "I'll go ahead and process everything that just happened now, bye guys! See you in my next video." You ended the live with a wave and smile.

You quickly went into your direct messages and found the same username, Kimyeontan95. You opened it and found a picture of Taehyung holding one of your paintings with a peace sign on his other hand, the other members behind him posing with your other works, making you laugh.

Your heart fluttered at the message below the picture.

I hope this isn't too sudden, but would you like to go out with me sometime?

a/n: hello! if you finished it, thank you so much for reading! i hope you liked it hehe. i think i’m gonna keep posting the stuff i write bc i have so many ideas for the other members as well. also this is fun hehe. if you wanna read my other work, let’s fall in love for the night, ← here’s a link! thanks again for reading and please look forward to my future writing/edits.

[aster-aspera]

One place to fall

@badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: Can’t go home

Relationship: Jon/Martin/Tim/Sasha

Warnings: food, Jon just generally being a bit sad? Idk, if there’s something you want tagged, feel free to tell me

Masterlist

If you liked it, please reblog

Jon woke up that morning with a strangled gasp, the afterimage of his dreams still burned into the back of his eyelids, keeping him from falling back to sleep. He rolled over, expecting to find the comforting warmth of one of his partners to keep him company in the lonely hours of an early day. Instead, what greeted him was the cold grey wall of Georgie’s guest room. It didn’t take long after that for the memories to flow back.

Three days. He really should stop expecting them to be here at this point.

They’re not here, they can’t be here, and he can’t go home, not for a long while, not till the police stop suspecting him for a murder he didn’t commit.

He sighed, rolling over onto his back when aches started running up his side. He stared up at the off-white popcorn ceiling, trying not to think of how Tim was probably sprawled out over Martin and Sasha, stealing most of the blankets and driving his sharp elbows into their sides. He tried not to miss Sasha’s warmth against his side and the sound of Martin’s soft snores. He always used to complain about their sleeping arrangements, but now he would do anything to be back in that bed.

He groaned and rolled over a few more times, trying in vain to find a position that was comfortable enough to attempt sleep again, not that that would go very well, with the nightmares plaguing him as soon as he closed his eyes.

Eventually, he conceded and got out of bed, grabbing his cane from the wall and taking a moment to work the stiffness out of his limbs. He limped into the kitchen and smiled at the Admiral when he raised his head sleepily. He wondered if he could convince the others to get a cat when he got home. If he ever got home.

The smile slipped off his face and he turned to open the curtains, letting in the greyish light of an early dawn. The Admiral mewled plaintively at his feet, pushing against him. He bent down carefully to run his fingers along the cat’s back, closing his eyes for a moment and just letting the feeling ground him.

He straightened and made his way over to the cramped kitchen, intent on making himself a small breakfast to keep him company whilst he waited for the world to wake up. He reached towards the cabinet over the sink, and for a moment expected their mismatched collection of mugs with ridiculous quotes and terrible puns. He shouldn’t have felt the disappointment he did when instead it was just a shelf of plain white cups.

He shut the cabinet door a little more forcefully than strictly necessary, breathing deeply against the sudden swell of emotion in his throat.

In the scope of all that had happened to him, this should have been minor, this should have been fine. It was just Georgie, the person he had used to love, the person he still cared for. And his partners were really just a phone call away.

So why then, did it feel like he was breaking? Why did every little reminder this wasn’t his home tear something apart deep in his gut?

Home had always been his safety net, and now, he had nowhere to fall.

And now he just had to sit here, stare at the blank walls and hope the police would finally realise he hadn’t been the one to kill jurgen Leitner. Every day that hope felt a bit further away.

He opened the group chat he shared with the others. There were no new messages, of course not, none of them were awake yet. Six am was a bit early even for Tim. He scrolled back to their conversation from last night.

A picture of Tim grinning into the camera while a pot bubbles over behind him.

Sasha: Tim’s cooking tonight, send help

Martin: If the house burns down or he poisons us, I want you to know I love you

Jon: I’m sure it won’t come to that.

He scrolls back down to the bottom of the chat, a small smile on his face at the easy conversation of last night. It wasn’t the same as being there with them, but it was a small comfort.

The three dots that signalled someone was typing popped up on his screen and he noted with surprise Sasha was already online.

Sasha: Youre up early

Jon: I could say the same for you.

Sasha: Needed to pee

Jon: Yes, I suppose that makes sense.

Sasha: So what’s your excuse

Jon: My back hurts again.

Sasha: :(

Sasha: And is that the only reason?

Jon: No

Jon: I miss you.

Sasha: Darling

Jon: I’m alright, I just wish I could see you

Jon: In person that is.

Sasha: We could come over?

Jon: I don’t think that’s wise.

Sasha: Yeah, i guess

Sasha: We miss you too

A swarm of emotions bubbled up in Jon’s throat at the words, threatening to spill over in a mess of heartache and sorrow and fear. They press against the bounds of his throat, choking him, filling him with so many feelings he could not even begin to parse them out. He just wanted to go home.

He swallows it down, tucks the whole mess into a corner of his mind and puts down his phone. He doesn’t want to bother Sasha, or any of the others. He’s already put so much on them, dragged them into the fear and confusion that was the archives, he had no right to bother them with more.

And he knew he was just being dramatic, he was a grown man, he should be able to handle being away from home for a while. He just needed to get himself together, focus on the next step.

He picked up a stack of statements from the coffee table, slipping on his glasses and burying himself in the comforting rhythm of paper and pen. At least this was something he still controlled, still knew how to do.

Georgie appeared at some point, giving him a disapproving glance to find him working so early and coraling him into eating breakfast with her. She can’t stay long after that, and both Jon and the Admiral watch her leave with the same forlorn air.

Jon looked up from his work as a heavy knock resounded from the front door. His first thought was that it was Georgie, back from her errands early. But she would just have let herself in, and Jon knew for certain she had her key with her when she left.

And who did that leave? The police? Some avatar coming to settle a score? Gertrude's killer finally come to finish the job?

Every option was bad, and every option would not let a flimsy door stop them. He stood up, walked into the kitchen as calmly as he could with dread and paranoia hanging over him like a dark cloud and grabbed the largest knife he could find. The knock came again, and he could hear indistinct whispering from behind the door.

Multiple people then. That wasn’t good for his chances. He gripped the knife just a little bit tighter.

“Hey boss, open up,” came a familiar voice, one he used to hear rough and sleepy in the mornings and soft and loving in the evenings. His heart brightened in a momentary thrill at the thought of his partners, or at least, one of them, being on the other side of that door, so close to him again after all those days without them. And all he had to do was open up that door and pull them into his arms once more.

That thrill was almost immediately dampened again as he realized they should not be here. It was why he had left in the first place. They were too connected to him, too wrapped up in his messy web of conspiracy and paranoia. If the police saw them here, if Elias saw them here, they would be leading all of it right to Georgie’s doorstep.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” He told the door and tried not to think of the warm hands behind it.

“We’re not supposed to do a lot of things,” Came Sasha’s amused voice.

“Like date each other,” Tim filled in, “But here we are, so you going to let us in now?”

“No, the police could find out, and you might get Georgie in trouble and there’s just so many reasons this is a bad idea.”

“Jon please, we’re worried about you, Georgie said you weren’t doing well,” Martin said softly

Jon sat down on the couch heavily, knees protesting from standing up too long. He stared at the door.

“And standing out here is probably a lot more risky than being in the apartment, so best let us in.”

He sighed. You never could argue with Sasha’s logic. The others looked up victoriously when he finally unlocked the door.

“There he is!” Tim crowed, as Sasha and Martin offered him a warm smile while bustling into the apartment, both laden with grocery bags. Sasha pressed a light kiss to his forehead as she passed and he tried not to start crying at the feeling.

“You have to leave,” He said as he shut the door, “You’re not supposed to be here.”

Martin and Sasha didn’t look up from where they were unloading piles of vegetables and snacks from their bags.

“What? No, hey guys, I missed you, happy to see you all?” Tim complained as he draped himself over Jon’s back. Jon scowled at him.

“Jon, stop being stubborn, we’ve all been through hell the past few weeks, and right now we just want to be here to keep you company,” Martin said in that firm yet gentle voice of his.

“You really shouldn’t be alone after all that,” Sasha said as she dumped out a tupperware container into a pot.

“I’m not alone,” Jon said grumpily, “I have the Admiral.” Though he had apparently decided to make himself scarce for the time being. Jon cursed him for the betrayal.

“Are you saying you prefer the company of a cat to ours?” Tim asked, pulling them both back onto the couch and settling a blanket over them.

“Maybe,” Jon pouted, burrowing into Tim’s chest despite the fact that he was still upset with them, “He doesn’t uselessly endanger everyone to come give me cuddles.”

“Well we’re here now, and we’re not leaving till you feel better.”

“And admit it, you’re happy we’re here,” Martin said, apparently finishing up with his preparations in the kitchen and curling up next to Jon on the couch.

Jon did not want to admit it, but something warm and content curled up in his stomach, the warm feeling of home returning to his bones. A warm and savoury smell drifted through the room, clearly coming from whatever Sasha was warming up on the stove.

This apartement did not look like home in the slightest, the walls and ceiling all wrong, the furniture hard and uncomfortable and unfamiliar. But with all of them here, and that familiar smell of soup and Tim’s conditioner surrounding him, it wasn’t all that bad.

Sasha sat down on his other side, handing everyone a bowl of soup and giving Jon a gentle kiss on his knuckles. Martin pressed one to his temple and Tim just ruffled his hair fondly.

A few words were exchanged between them, but Jon didn’t bother paying too much attention. He knew he should still be angry, or at least have a firm conversation with them on what they had agreed on. But not now, not when they were here and he was home and for a moment he could forget all about Leitner and the institute and just be safe.

[foreverfangirlalways]

Who Does Virgil Really Like?

Based off this post by  @more-incorect-quotes and this comic by @illogicallyinclined

(Also, a huge thank you to @thefingergunsgirl for some of the plot points!!!)

Summery: After a 20 question game gone wrong, will Virgil be able to tell Logan who his crush really is?

Ships: Analogical, hinted at Dukexiety, hinted at Prinxiety, Moceit

Warning: Misunderstandings, weird flirting, lowkey stalking

-let me know if I need to add more warnings-(I hope you like it! )

—-

It was a relatively calm day in the Mind Palace. Patton is eating cookies, Roman and Logan are working on the final draft of a new song, and Virgil, Remus, and Janus are play 20 questions.

“Janus, how would describe your perfect date?” Virgil asked.

“Well, I definitely wouldn’t take my partner dancing after a nice dinner and then talk a stoll before walking them home.”

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Janus. “What? I’m a liar, not classless.” Janus said while winking at Patton.

Patton blush and accidentally crumbled one of his cookies. Remus laughed. “Alright, my turn before Dadceit and Daddy inspire me to make another fic!” Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes, and Janus gave Patton another cookie.

Remus clapped his hands, then eyed Virgil.

“So Tickle-Me-Emo, tell me, what’s your ideal boy?”

‘Shit! What do I say? I have to say the truth, but I don’t want to make it obvious... oh! I know!’ Virgil thought while chewing on his lips, then he hid a secret smile.

“Oh, he’s creative, knows how to handle weapons, and loves nicknaming.” Everyone acted all almost exactly how they did with Janus’s answer, except Patton wasn’t blushing.

“You just described me! Ha!” Remus yelled, looking gleeful. Janus, who knew the lies that Virgil told himself around a certain tie wearing aspect, just smirked and decided to “play along.”

“Or he could be talking about your brother.”

Virgil fought the urge to get up and go slap Deceit’s smug smirk off of his face. At Deceit’s words and Virgil’s glare, Roman made some dramatic princy noises.

Remus just blanched, not believing that HIS emo could have fallen for his dull brother. He looked at Roman’s delighted face and then at Virgil’s glare. “There is no way he likes that! Remus shouted, pointing to Virgil and then gesturing to all of Roman.

Roman then made some offended princy noises. “HOW DARE-!” Patton silenced Roman by throwing a piece of the popcorn that Janus had just summoned for them to share at him. “Now kiddo, you know the rules, no yelling in the famILY room.”

Virgil took a minute to wonder when Janus had gotten up, sat beside Patton, started cuddling Patton, and summoned popcorn, but he was interrupted by the look on Logan’s face.

He looked mildly interested, but Virgil has known him long enough to know that his feelings are hurt. Is it because Janus is not sharing the popcorn with him or...

Virgil had a realization. “Uhh, on an unrelated note, I have to be, not here.” Virgil gave a two finger salute and then sunk down to his room to freak out.

Both Remus and Roman got up at the same time, noticed that the other had gotten up, and then lunged at eachother. “How dare you think Virgil likes you, you’re just a stinky wannabe Mario!” Roman yelled at the same time Remus shrieked, “Virgil is my bloodsucking vampire bat, hands off!”

While they rolled around on the floor, laying claim on Virgil and insulting eachother, Janus kept Patton from interrupting their fight by kissing him on the check and whispering, “Come on darling, just let them work it out themselves.”

Patton was suddenly a speechless, blushing mess who was just mechanical eating popcorn and avoiding Janus’s teasing gaze.

Logan, who everyone had forgotten about, looked forlorn. He liked Virgil, but clearly it is one sided. He always knew that he never had a chance.

Logan just sighed and started to sink down to his own room, not noticing the knowing, glowing heterochromic eyes that were following his movements, and hearing his deceitful thoughts.

-_-_-_-

Over the following week, Roman and Remus have both tried to woo Virgil, oftentimes resulting in them fighting.

Janus has gone through about 15 bowls of popcorn, 11 of which were shared with a blushing Patton.

Logan has been getting more sad every time he notices one of the twins antics, and has gotten to the point where he almost can’t stand to look at them. He realizes that this is illogical, and who Virgil choses to give his affections to is none of his business, but he still gets jealous, despite himself.

And Virgil... well, Virgil is at his wits end. He’s sick of finding dead rats in his toilet and getting random, blood covered knives from Remus. He’s tired of shooing sing birds away and cutting the heads off of the roses that Roman gives him. Virgil HATES roses.

About 8 days after the whole 20 questions incident, Virgil and Logan were sitting on the couch in the famILY room. Virgil was scrolling threw tumblr and Logan was reading about constellations.

After about 20 minutes of silence, Virgil couldn’t take it anymore. He tossed his phone onto the loveseat, and groaned. When Logan question Virgil about what was wrong, Virgil took a daring move, and laid his head on Logan’s lap. Logan turned faintly red, and just stared at Virgil.

“Hey Lo? Can you give me some advice?” Once Logan nodded tensely, Virgil added, “Its relationship advice.”

Logan felt like crying. ‘Of course he needs relationship advice. He obviously likes Roman, and as his friend I am ok with that and will help him.’

Janus, summoned by Logan’s thoughts, was sitting against the wall with Patton on his lap. They were both eating popcorn, having already done this multiple times this week. They could both clearly see the two on the couch, but neither one seemed to notice the couple watching them. Not even when Janus had to muffle Patton’s squeal with his gloved hand upon Patton realizing Logan and Virgil’s position.

“What seems to be the problem?” Logan asked, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of his voice. Lucky for him, Virgil didn’t notice.

“Well, I have a crush on someone an-“ Virgil was cut off when he felt Logan put a comforting hand on his chest. Virgil looked up, and smiled faintly at a faintly smiling Logan.

“I’ve been trying to tell them for the past few months, but they haven’t seemed to notice at all.”

Logan side-eyed Virgil. ‘Is he serious? I think Roman knows, he gave you a bouquet of roses yesterday. Which is a little pointless, given that you hate roses, but... oh.’ Logan thought, coming to the conclusion that Virgil didn’t realize that Roman likes him back. Janus relayed what he was hearing from Logan thoughts to Patton, and they both rolled their eyes at the two oblivious sides.

“Really?” Logan asked, now full on looking at Virgil. “They don’t sound particularly observant.” Janus had to keep Patton from yelling out “he’s not!”

Virgil just smiled, and decided to try something. “See, that’s the thing. They’re actually really smart. Just...” Virgil took a breath and intertwined his fingers with Logan’s, “dense.”

Logan fought all the butterflies that were raging war in his stomach, and decided to record Virgil admitting his feelings, so that he can just send the recording to Roman and cry.

“Perhaps you just need to take the obvious route. You could try saying a simple...” Logan held back a gag and position his phone more directly over Virgil’s face. “I love you.”

Virgil considered. ‘Could it really be that easy?’ “You think that would work?”

Logan nodded, and put on a near perfect mask of nonchalant. “It’s at least worth a try.”

Virgil looked to the away and nodded. “I... guess you’re right.” Virgil took a deep breath and Logan shakily pressed the record button.

“Hey... Logan...” Virgil said, gripping his hand tighter. “I love you.”

Janus and Patton just stared, leaning forward. Logan blushed, and decided to never delete that recording, ever. “Yeah! Use that exact phrase!” Logan said in false cheerfulness.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” Virgil yelled at the same time Janus and Patton facepalmed.

Logan regrettably let go of Virgil’s hand. “And if that doesn’t work, we can always try a different approach.”

“Oh my God.” Virgil said while covering his face with his hands, trying his hardest not to reach up and shake the denseness out of Logan.

Logan, not seeing Roman and Remus walk in the door way and be freezed and silenced by Janus, continued.

“Don’t worry Virgil, I’ll make sure Roman realizes how much you really like him.” Logan says.

Janus looked dumbfounded. ‘How dumb can Logic be?’

Patton looked disappointed and almost started laughing.

Roman looked triumphant and Remus looked pissed.

Virgil, however, just looked done. He quickly sat up, and turned to face Logan. “Wait, you mean to tell me that you think my crush is on ROMAN?!”

Logan gulped. “Umm yes. Was I wrong in that assumption?”

Virgil just started laughing. He laughed until his laughter turned to tears. Logan immediately became alarmed and took Virgil into his arms.

“Shhh, Virgil, sweetheart, I need you to calm down for me.” That just seemed to make Virgil cry harder so Logan grabbed Virgil hands and squeezed them in a 4-7-8 pattern. Virgil, knowing what Logan is doing, starts to follow the pattern. After about 5 minutes Virgil is calmed down.

“Virgil, can you tell me what is bothering you?” Logan asked gently. Virgil just nodded defeatedly. “You.”

Logan froze, not knowing how to respond to that. Virgil continued. “I have liked you for almost 2 years. I have tried to tell you about my crush for months. I admit, I could have been a bit more obvious in my clues to Remus, but I thought for sure you would know who I was talking about. You are creative when you come up with raps, you threw a computer at Thomas and knowledge is a weapon, and you called Roman a ‘Roman Scenturian.‘

Instead you avoided me for days, didn’t believe me when I said I love you, and think I have a crush on Roman? Can you see wh-“

Logan interrupted Virgil’s rant by kissing him. If he was totally honest, he barely heard a word after Virgil said, “I have liked you...”

The couple sprung apart as soon as they heard cheering. They both stared at Patton, who was sitting in Janus’s lap with popcorn all over and around him, and the biggest smile on his face.

Janus was also smiling, and looked over at Remus and Roman, who were looking fondly at both couples. Janus unfroze them.

“So...” Remus starts, “you like Logan, huh?” Everyone laughs. “That’s fine, I’m gonna go see if the Dragonwitch wants to go on a date.” Remus winked then sunk down, headed towards the imagination.

Virgil then looks at Roman. Roman takes a step forward, and Logan tightens his grip on Virgil. Roman just laughs.

“Don’t worry Lo, I was just wanting to give y’all my blessing! Also, do you think that O will want to go on a quest?”

Virgil giggled and nodded. “Yeah, I think ol’ Orange would love to go ‘rob people legally’ as he put it, with you.” Roman waved and then headed to find O.

The couple on the couch then turned to look at the couple by the wall. Patton looked ecstatic while Janus looked amused. “Well, that certainly didn’t take forever.” Janus said, breaking the silence.

They all just shook their heads, and Patton dragged Janus to the kitchen to start on dinner (and totally not eavesdrop).

Virgil looked at Logan. “So, if I say something do you promise to not be stupid this time?” Virgil asked teasingly. Logan smiled and nodded.

“Logan, I love you.” Logan kissed Virgil and smiled. “Virgil, I would love for you to be my boyfriend.” “I would love that too!” Virgil said before kissing Logan again.

-----

Note: Incase you are wondering, Roman and Remus were just really trying to make Virgil like one of them more than the other, and were actually surprised when Virgil described them and not Logan during the game. They did not just immediately move on after seeing there was not shot. They were coming to tell Virgil that they actually like other ‘people’ but kind of got stopped 😅

Taglist- (I went ahead and did my Analogical Taglist 😅)

@five-falseh00ds-ph0nated

@illogicallyinclined

@more-incorect-quotes

@thefingergunsgirl

@kawaiikat54

@yikesdodson

@sanders-sides-with-quinn

@aleiimm

@peachy-pidge

@nerdycupcake559

@softestvirgil

@dragonwithproblems

@teacupfulofstarshine

@lynxsans

@rainbowemonightmare

@impatentpending

@star-crossed-shipper

@falsehoodx

@007ardra

[pendragonfics]

Housebound

Paring: Victor Creed/Reader

Tags: gender-neutral reader, past Jean Grey/Logan, current events, quarantine, angst, angst with a happy ending, brotherly love, light fluff, alternative universe - modern & no powers

Summary: You and your boyfriend Victor are stuck at his brother's house during a quarantine lockdown.

Word Count: 1,611

Current Date: 2020-03-30

Requested by: @queengiuliettafirstlady​ 

The nation-wide call for a lockdown happened at the worst time. Well, it could have been worse - well, a lot worse. Yeah, it was unwise to visit Victor’s brother, all things considered. It wasn’t Logan’s fault that he’d found his wife had been cheating on him. It wasn’t his fault that the affair had happened since the 2016 election and that she wasn’t at tennis with her teacher at all.

Now you three were stuck in a flat.

“Of all things…” Logan cracked open another beer. At the rate he was going at, there’d be no liquor in two days, let alone the projected lift on the ban.

“Look, she’ll get what’s coming for her. You know, karma and all that,” you tell Logan, meaning it. When he doesn’t respond, you lean forward and take the bottle.

Quite unhelpfully, Victor has been staying out of all of this. While he’s not the best negotiator, he’s Logan’s brother and knows him better than you. Throughout lunch, he’d been quiet, near-brooding, patting Logan’s back when he sighed, passing things when he asked for them, grunted in response when conversation asked it of him. You’re not sure if this is because he’s mad that you insisted on helping Logan in this tough spot, or because he’s never really liked his brother, or perhaps, it’s your fault that you’re both stuck here in the one-bedroom flat in the poorer area of town.

“________,” Logan growls. “Give it back.”

Victor swipes the beer and returns it to his brother’s hand. “Let the man grieve,” he wrestles Logan to the couch, moving to the TV for something nonsensical to change the mood. “C’mon, bro. Save some beer for the rest of us.”

You sigh and push yourself up onto the bench. Outside the tiny kitchen window, the streets are bare, and there’s no traffic at all, except for the stray emergency vehicle. You can hear the start-up tone for Netflix as you begin to think of your lonely houseplants.

---

Come ten o’clock when everyone’s eyes felt like sandpaper, Logan retired to the bedroom. With the taste of unusual toothpaste in your mouth, you and Victor looked to the second-hand couch for respite. A couch that had lived a prolific life of stains and tears in its time, spills and thrills from the living rooms it had spent time in. Not counting the night that just had been, it must have lived for years off the arses of its owners. You looked at it with a distaste, thinking how Victor and Logan had spent hours watching something with subtitles that you didn’t catch the name of.

Victor wasn’t particularly chatty since Logan left the room. Not that he was any time, but anything to break the eerie silence would have been preferable. Thankfully, you had your phone charger with you, and your smartphone was a lovely distraction.

“You heading to bed?” Victor broke the silence.

Over your mobile game, you nodded. “I’ll take the floor.” You offered.

“Nah,” Victor rebutted, “You never know what Logan’s tracked into the carpet.”

Quietly, you agreed and took the couch. When the light was switched off, it felt less intimidating. Perhaps darkness was the best reveal of true strength, or maybe the anxiety of it all had caught up with you. Either way, you felt exhausted, but not too tired to reach for your boyfriend’s hand in the dark.

“What are you doing?” he grumbled, following the sound of him turning over.

“I -,” you stop, backtracking, “um. Good night.”

---

There’s nothing fresh left to eat after, other than the health food that was slowly turning to mould in the bottom of the fridge. Logan hadn’t stocked up a lick of anything, except for the beer, and frozen chips and gravy. Maybe homemade poutine was his comfort food, but it wasn’t something sustainable for any of you three.

Thankfully Jean had apples that were days away from turning bad, and with what ingredients you could find in the pantry, it was clear that there was only one way to make best of a bad situation: and that was by making apple pie. While Victor scrolled on new sites for any updates to the world news, Logan was watching through his boxset reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond. Leaving you to your messing around in the kitchen, complete with your headphones playing your favourite music to block out any negative thoughts.

By midday, you’d crafted pastry by hand. Lumpy, but pretty good for your first ever attempt at that sort of baking. By five, the apple pie was warm on the bench, growing colder beneath the window.

Quietly, you unplug your earphones and look around the apartment. The boys have moved since you last saw them, and tired, you trudge to the bathroom for a long shower to commemorate your success. Maybe, if you’re lucky, Logan’s cheating wife would have left some nice shampoo and body wash for you to filch.

You’ve been away from yours and Victor’s shared place for two days now, and it feels strange. It feels like you’re stuck at a sleepover, or it’s like that bit between Christmas and New Years’ Eve, or something else liminal. By the time you get out the shower and change, you go back out to check on the pie.

It’s still there. But, minus a sixth.

---

When Victor asks what’s wrong, you ignore him. Partly, that’s because you know there’s a chance that he’s the one who robbed your pie. Partly, it’s because lately, he’s been distant with you, and some part of you, a petty part of you, wants back at him. Logan doesn’t notice the pie, and Victor doesn’t talk about it. You’re silent, waiting. But it’s not brought up.

If you hadn’t already taken a shower, you’d go back in there and cry under the showerhead for a solid five minutes unhindered.

But when Logan makes his cheese-less poutine for dinner, you three all eat in silence in front of the seven o’clock headlines. When everyone’s ready for sleep, you wait. You know you’re the last awake when both brothers’ snores are reverberating in the room, and it’s then when you finally let it out.

At first, it’s just about the pie. You’re upset that one of them took from you without asking and didn’t bring it up or apologise at all. You’re upset that Victor isn’t talking to you. You’re upset that you haven’t slept in your bed in so long, and you miss your things. But then, you realise that you’re worried about the goings-on in the world. The unknown of it all. The fact that there’s no idea of what’s going to happen other than what you know -

“Babe are you crying?” you hear Victor murmur.

Sniffling, you wipe at your eyes, even though it’s dark, you try to roll away. But you feel Victor’s arm on yours, and suddenly he’s holding you in his arms. You’re caught by surprise, and the next sob comes out a little louder, but he’s holding you tight, and you cry into the crook of his shoulder, feeling the negativity come out.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he says after a while.

“Everything is -,” you stop to cry some more, “I don’t know what’s happening! Logan’s not talking to me, and you’re distant and my pie -,”

Victor tilts your head with his hands, and in the darkness, you can barely see his face. But he kisses you, his lips dusting your face with the tears that had already fallen. While your boyfriend is never the most communicative, you could always rely on him, especially when life got you down.

“Logan’s Logan. He’ll get over himself. I’ve been packing up Jean’s stuff with him, and it’s…not easy for him.” Victor explains quietly. In the next room, you can still hear Logan’s snores reverberating through the shared wall. “and I’m sorry I’m distant. I pick up other people’s feelings, you know that.”

“You’re a nightmare to bring to a funeral,” you reminisce, sniffling.

“And Logan took your pie slice. He did it and felt bad, but he’s the worst at owning up, so hold it against him so we have leverage for next time he does you wrong, okay?” Victor snorts, and you chuckle back in response.

“I don’t want to blackmail him,” you moan. “I…I just want you to be proud I made a pie.”

“According to Lo, it’s the best pie he’s ever had,” Victor cheers you. A beat passes, and he kisses your cheeks once more. There are fewer tears there now, and his smooches are less watery. But they’re tempered, well-placed, and soon enough, your breathing is almost normal, and the tears have almost stopped falling. “and the thing is, babe…nobody knows what’s happening,” he whispers. “in the world.”

“Nobody?” you ask.

“Yeah. But that’s okay.” He exhales, and you lean closer.

You wrap your arms around him, bringing him close to you. The authorities have said to stay apart, but you’re a unit. You live together, even when you’re not at his brother’s house. You’ve been with him for years, and years and there’s no way you can part now.

“Yeah?” you prompt.

“Yeah.” Slowly, Victor takes you from the couch and lowers you onto the floor where he’s set up to sleep. You pull the comforter you had off with you, and together, you snuggle in each other’s arms. “…I mean, the world is big, but we’re all in this together.”

“Are you quoting High School Musical to me?” you ask him.

Victor’s arms around you are warm and comforting. “I’d do nothing less for you.”

[coffeecomicsgalore]

Chasing Feelings

Plagg comforts Adrien and Chat comforts Marinette.

Ao3

Day 5: Comfort

Adrien spent most of the afternoon staring at the computer screen mindlessly scrolling through social media. His homework sat idly on the table beside him, half-filled answers written in between the three subjects of homework that needed to be completed by tomorrow. He sighed heavily. His mind erratic with thoughts trying to understand why his mind had malfunctioned all day.

First it was with Nino and Kim, which caused quite a teasing from them. Then it was with Alya after he walked in to the classroom holding her hand. Then Chloe had to be Chloe and cause such a scene. Alix and Nathaniel eyed him the rest of the day, mocking him with kitten eyes whenever he turned their way.

Finally, there was Marinette. She was so adorable with her constant blush. And the little flirting she did earlier? The kiss on the cheek? Grabbing his hand? Where did that all come from? Why was he so flustered all of a sudden?

“I can hear you think.” Mumbled Plagg from his spot on the couch.  

“Sorry, Plagg.”  

“Kit. Why are you moping?"

“Do you really want to know?”

“Not really but if you don’t talk about it, you’re just going to sit there all afternoon doing that, and it’s cutting into my cheese date.”

Adrien spun his chair around, leaning his head against the headrest. “I thought I was in love with Ladybug. I mean, I still am, but I know she will never want anything more than a friendship. But is Marinette more than just a friend to me? I value her so much more than that, but is it fair? Is it like I’m making her out as second best?”

Plagg floated up to his chosen and sat on his shoulder. “Listen, I know you want Ladybug to love you the way you love her, but do you think there is any reason she would change?” Adrien shook his head dejectedly. “You seem to really like Marinette. You bought her flowers, held her hand, hugged her, protected her from Lila the other day and Chloe today. You even asked her to play a duet with you out of nowhere, which sounded like a date by the way, until you decided to say ‘as friends’ which only made her sound sad. At least that’s how I heard it through your shirt.”

Adrien sat up almost knocking Plagg off his shoulder. “I did make it sound like a date, didn’t I? Then I took it back! I can’t believe I messed that up.”

“Are you saying that you want to take Marinette out on a date?”

A ding rang on his computer and he turned to see what it was. It was a notification on one of the social media sites where Marinette posted a picture of a dress she was in the middle of designing. It was a gorgeous red steampunk dress with a corset top. It had some black lace in several parts of the corset and there looks to be something forming where the skirt and top meet. Adrien cooed before liking the photo and commenting how amazing it’s already turning out. When he turned around, remembering he had left mid conversation yet again, he saw a scowling kwami floating in front of him with his arms crossed.

Adrien shrunk into his chair, looking sheepishly at him.

“And you were saying?” Plagg said in irritation.

“Okay. Okay. Maybe I want to take her out on a date. Maybe I like her more than a friend. Maybe I have feelings for her. But it still doesn’t make me feel good knowing that I’m going after her since I can’t be with Ladybug.”

“Just because you still love Ladybug, doesn’t mean you can’t love someone else. How does Marinette make you feel? Is there a difference between how Ladybug makes you feel and how Marinette makes you feel?”

Adrien pondered a moment. Ladybug has this fierceness about her that takes his breath away. She’s strong, courageous, and willing to do whatever it takes for Paris. Her giggles when she enjoys one of his puns, her eyes shine like sapphires when she figures out her lucky charm, and her kindness when mistakes happen – all those parts of her make his heart soar whenever they are together.

Marinette was also just as fierce. She handles so much on her plate with being the class representative, running her own online store, dealing with Chloe and Lila, trying to make sure that everyone is involved in one way or another, helping out her family in the bakery... and then she’s got eyes that are as blue as the ocean; it makes you want to dive in and soak in it. And her laugh, her cute blush, she’s so creative and perfect, and when she gets excited, she has this adorable butt wiggle, and whenever she gets excited or nervous her words go a million miles a minute and stumbles on her words, and... and...

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Plagg?” Adrien said slowly and with hesitation, his eyes wide with realization. “I think. I think I really like her.”

Plagg smirked. “Not sure which girl you’re talking about, kit.”

“I think I’m in love with Marinette.”  

-----

Marinette sighed as she placed her sketchbook down on her chair. She curled herself up as she wrapped her arms around her legs and tugged on her pant leg to fix the bunching that was irritating her calf. Tikki noticed her chosen’s dismay, zipping from the potted plant that was sitting in the sun.

“Marinette?”

“Hmm?” She mumbled without looking.

“Are you okay? I thought that this was what you were waiting for?”

Marinette sat and looked sullen. Tikki wasn’t wrong; she has been waiting for Adrien to notice her since the day she fell in love with him. Yes, she loved every second of Adrien holding her hand, protecting her from Chloe, hugging her when the tears started to flow, and asking her to do a duet with him, but it seems like the only thing he wants from it is to remain friends. At least that’s what he said today. And if that’s any confirmation of how he views them together, then why should she continue.

“He only did that as a friend, Tikki. You heard him. Yeah, he said my voice sounded great, but when he asked me to sing alongside him, it sounded like he wanted to ask me out, like a date, but then he said ‘as friends’,” she mocked his voice as she air quoted, “and he ran out of there all flustered. How am I supposed to feel about that? I seriously don’t even know how to process this.”

Marinette started to sniffle, holding back the tears that were threatening to spill over. “Why would I ever be so dumb to think that Adrien would even like me that way. And then on top of it, I’ve been turning down the one boy that I know loves me all because my heart belongs to Adrien.” She rubbed her eye with the back of palm. The tears had finally broken through and trickled down her face. “It’s stupid. It’s foolish of me to ever think I could love someone who loves me back for me. Because no matter which way I turn, I end up being too late.”  

She buried her face into her arms as they relaxed on her knees and sobbed until she couldn’t cry anymore. Tikki sat quietly beside her chosen, watching out for any akumas that may be heading for her. Tikki then felt a presence, turning over and hiding when she caught a glimpse of who lurked on the roof.

“Marinette?” Chat questioned with panic as he jumped down to her balcony. “Marinette? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?”

Marinette continued to cry, nodding a yes, no, no to his questions. Without hesitating, Chat pulled Marinette from her spot and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He shushed a calming noise in her ear and he clawed soothing strokes in her untied hair, waiting until the hiccups turned to soft breaths and the last of the sobs were leveled out to quiet tears. When Marinette was ready, she pulled herself away from Chat, sniffling into her palm as Chat pulled a tissue from his hand. Marinette graciously accepted it.

“I’m sorry, Chat. You didn’t have to do that. I’m just a mess right now.”

Marinette apologizing for crying? “No. No, princess. Please don’t apologize. Any reason to cry your feelings out is a good reason as any. I don’t know who did this to you, but I’m here if you need a shoulder to cry on. I can keep an eye out for akumas if you need to just let go for a bit. I’m here.”

Marinette lunged herself back into Chat’s arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed to cry right now.”

Chat wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly until she let go. “Do you want to talk about it?  

She sniffled again. Could she talk about this to him? If her speculation was right and Adrien and Chat are one in the same, then he would figure it out in a heartbeat. But if he wasn’t, then maybe this could be a way for her to sort out her feelings. The feeling of fear started to creep back up her spine making her feel nauseous from the anxiety.

“Not really, Chat. I just had a rough and confusing day.” That would be enough to both intrigue him but not give away too much. “I just needed a good cry to sort out my feelings.”

Chat frowned and turned to the skyline. The blue haze from the day has now turned into a pink and purple mess with golden streaks throughout. “I’m sorry you had a rough day. I hope that if there is a ‘who’ in the mix that caused this, they realize that you crying is a catastrophe.”  

Marinette chuckled at the pun which then made Chat smile. She decided to bite the bullet and take a chance at this. “There is this boy I like. I’ve mentioned him before. He’s so sweet, and caring, and he’s been so protective over me lately. I thought maybe, just maybe, he started feeling something towards me. Maybe I had my hopes up. Then he asked me to accompany him as he played his instrument, and I was so excited, until he added the dreaded ‘as friends’ line.” She paused for a moment, trying to stop the tears that were forming again. “I guess it’s just easier to say that it broke me a little.”

Chat looked at her in shock. He broke her spirit? She wanted it to be a date? She wants us to be more than friends? Oh god, I’m a jerk! I shouldn’t have added that line!

“Chat? Chat! What’s wrong?”  

Chat shook his head. “Sorry, I didn’t expect you to tell me. You said you didn’t want to talk about it.” He rubbed his neck nervously. “What did he do after he said that?”

Marinette frowned as she recalled the moment. “He ran off.” She whispered so low that Chat had strained to hear her. “It made me think that everything he did today was all a mistake. I just had my hopes up. I‘m stupid enough to think that maybe he loved me too.”

She loved him? She loved him! Marinette Dupain-Cheng loves me, Adrien Agreste! And I love her too! Oh my gosh, this is the happiest day of my life. Wait, no. She’s so heartbroken! What am I going to do?

“You’re not stupid, Marinette. Don’t' settle yourself short. But maybe... do you think that he added it accidentally? Like maybe it was out of nervousness?

Marinette wiped the stray tear away and thought about it. “Maybe? I don’t know. He was a jumbled up mess. Maybe he didn’t mean to say it.” She started to perk up a smidgen. “I guess I’ll just wait and see tomorrow on how he acts towards me. Maybe I’ll just play it by ear. I don’t want to spook him or anything.”

“Why don’t you just message him? It’s still pretty early. Maybe he’s awake?”

“No. I won’t do that. I can’t do that. I’m already a hot mess whenever I’m around him. The last thing I need to do is try to sort out my feelings when I don’t know how he truly feels about me.”

“Maybe he’ll come around, Marinette. Just give him time.”

“Yeah, you’re right Chat. I will.” She pulled him into a hug. “Thank you for listening to me. But if you don’t mind, I need to get back inside before it gets too late. I have homework I couldn’t concentrate on that’s due tomorrow and I’m willing to bet that you have some yourself. Good night Chat.”

“Good night, Marinette.”

[literaetures]

omg ive never met anyone who likes the medici show!!!!! pls share ur thoughts

you must be new here bc i Love the show! it’s one of my all time fave period dramas (coming from someone who knows nothing about the actual history of the family other than the one (1) page history that was given in her high school history textbook and sporadic wikipedia diving when watching the show— i just love period dramas) and i often quote this post by @hotniatheron when talking about this show (because that’s literally. the whole show)

the cinnamon topography, the sets, the characters the costumes, the d r a m a, the storyline! i love it all! i’ve written a few posts on the show as well that i’ll link here if you want some memes (and usually gifsets i rb are filled with commentary) but if you really care about why i love the show, i’ll try to give you as much of a summary as i can (w o w so this got long because i have a lot of feelings so i’ll leave this under the cut but tl;dr i adore this show and i think about it more than once a week and have tons of half-written meta posts sitting in my drafts fjwkjfewn)

i watched s1 when it first came out and immediately fell in love, watched the whole thing in one day (avoiding a paper i had due lmao) and completely fell for it. i loved the morally ambiguous leanings of everyone in that season— no one was quite Good™️ or Bad™️, they all did things with their own ambitions and their own ideas of what a good future may look like in mind— i loved all the scenic shots and the duomo (the true protagonist), i loved the characterization of “the banker that wanted to be an artist”, the attack and murder of albizzi and his son! in the forest! in slow motion! while the duomo is being consecrated! the mist of the forest combining with the smoke from the lamps! still gives me chills! i hated every moment cosimo wasn’t respecting his amazing wife who rode in oh horseback! in the signoria! just to save his ass! and he completely shunned her for it! i loved lucrezia’s depth they gave her towards the end that was later extended in s2 (where you could Tell contessina took her under her wing and gave her the single braincell of the family) and even more, i loved the multi layered storyline of the season— the coming of age story of cosimo, the murder mystery of who killed his father, the PLOT TWIST of who killed his father!!! (i kept forgetting in my first and second rewatches of the season and every time i forgot it felt like i experienced it for the first time all over again!) but most importantly, i loved the narrative of not knowing what to do in life, that every decision you made is a gamble with outcomes that are both good and bad, but there will be people around you who support you and get you through it

and then. s2. by far the better written of the two three seasons with a more clear plotline and timeline that allows you to really take in the characters and the plotline at once while allowing for more nuance and depth in a way that we didn’t get in s1! here we have the distinct battle between Good and Bad which was shocking after the morally grey complexity that we saw in s1 but made for a fresh new season that i instantly enjoyed! b u t!!! it did not go! where i thought it was going to go! as someone who knows nothing about the history, i went into it completely in the dark and solely began crafting possible endings in my head. i thought. i had pictured. that lorenzo and francesco started off enemies, francesco realizes his uncle jacopo (sean bean) has been manipulating him, switches to the “good” side, hears the acts of betrayal, and instead of falling back into his uncle’s plotting and manipulation, i thought! i assumed! that francesco was playing him! i thought! that francesco would see through the manipulation and the abuse and was in a double agent scenario where he was plotting the “pazzi conspiracy” but he told lorenzo and giuliano about the plot and they’d catch jacopo in the act, give him a trial, and give him a prison sentence! i thought this WHOLE thing! even at the end of ep7! even after the hugs (i thought the extra squeezes was francesco signaling to lorenzo and giuliano that everything was going according to plan (because remember the whole Good and Bad clear divide? i thought this was going to be the grey zone of s1 to remind us of moral ambiguities)) and even when ep 3 “mass” was going. i was sitting there in my clown paint waiting for francesco to get! his! redemption arc! because i forgot! that this! was a historical period drama about real events! and it wasn’t until lucrezia’s scream that i realized “OH. it’s not going to get better” you can imagine. my pain. but i think that’s what made this season so good? anyone could have watched it and fallen in love with the storyline and good narrative they presented that allowed you to get lost in the characters and the story

and as for s3. i’m withholding as much of my thoughts as possible because i will be watching it when it finally airs on netflix and i want to properly give it the binge watch that i’ve given the past seasons to really sit with my thoughts to have fully formed thoughts and onions on it!

in any case, i love this show. so much! i cannot wait for the renaissance project to happen with seasons about all the artists, but g o d am i going to miss this disaster family so! much! (and all those scenic duomo shots) 

i love contessina and francesco (those are my two fave characters from the show) and there’s honestly so much more that i can say but honestly you can scroll through my series tags and see me cry about it because i’m rambling so much i know— if you give me a chance to tell you my thoughts on my obsessions! i’m so sorry in advance!

but i’m sure this is. not the length that you expected, but i hope it’s at least a bit entertaining! thanks for letting me talk about my obsessions for a bit!

[peterjakes]

Sam x Grizz Fanfic - ‘Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth’

Third part and possible last of ‘The sun is but a morning star’ series - grizz meets eden and its cute x

also posted of ao3; https://archiveofourown.org/works/21281282

It had been a week since Eden was born and she was thriving. Being constantly showered in affection but not only her extremely tired parents; but her extended family which included Kelly, Gordie, and Bean. Little did she know the biggest disaster of the small world of New Ham she had been born into. Things still hadn’t mellowed down; even with many trying to figure out what they were going to do to try to fix the mess they’d been landed in. This was something that was extremely worrying for Grizz. He hadn’t seen Sam since they reunited; he thought it best to give him a little bit of space, especially as he still technically had a new-born to look after. Grizz ached to see Sam but he didn’t want to disturb him or Becca. Although the tension between him and Sam had finally disappeared; he still felt as if he still couldn’t barge in on Sam and Becca. It was as if he’d ruin their little family of bliss, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

It was his third day back since arriving from the expedition and he’d spent most of that time in his room, hiding. Anyone else who had been living in his house had already cleared out when he first arrived, which was actually a blessing. Back when Allie was in charge, as part of the guard, Grizz spent most of his time at Allie’s, rarely going home (only to change or shower). He remembered how after a few weeks of Allie being mayor, Grizz and Gordie started their own little book club, just to past the time. Soon enough Bean and Becca joined in, just to listen. Then Sam. They’d all try to least have breakfast together at least once a week, like a family ritual. Gordie made coffee, Grizz the tea, Sam the toast (even though it was burnt almost every time). They’d take about menial, mundane, meaningless things. Life before New Ham. What they were going to do after graduation, how much they all hated Mr. Cam and his dumb moustache, missing their families, the normality of their lives before. Grizz took charge of watering all the plants, whilst Bean and Becca would go around the garden picking out the prettiest flowers to decorate the house. Will changed all the light bulbs whenever they broke, even though he seemed to smash most of them. If anyone was having a rough day; Grizz would leave a small but inspiring quote on their pillow or pin it to the fridge. Daily group naps became an important part of everyone’s day. They all took care of each other. But all of that was gone now. Cassandra dead. Luke, a traitor. Allie arrested. Will arrested. Becca, a mother. Sam, a father. Bean scared. Gordie alone. Grizz alone.

These thoughts floated around Grizz’s mind whenever he wasn’t thinking about Sam. Sam’s lips. Sam’s freckles all dotted perfectly on his face. Sam’s soft, soft hair. Sam’s sparkling, vivid blue eyes. He wanted to touch him again, all of him. Even just to be in his presence, Grizz pined for him. The space between them was almost becoming too much. It was as if there were oceans between the two. Grizz was being pulled down by the weight of his need for Sam. He knew he’d have to talk to Sam again. No, not ‘have to’, he wanted to. He wanted to see that special smile, the one that seemed to make Grizz forget anytime he wasn’t with Sam.

Once again, Grizz knew he’d have to be the one to make the first move, Sam had a new-born to take care of after all. He moved along his bed, reaching for his phone which was placed on the bedside table. Before typing, he quickly scrolled through the texts he and Sam had sent each other, nothing special, nothing incriminating but every single word held so much more than it first appeared. Grizz typed out the message and hit sent before he could think otherwise, not wanting to waste a moment longer.

Grizz: Hey

He flicked off the message, not wanting to see the non-existence of the three little dots and scrolled down to his last conversation with Luke. Again, meaningless. Luke had taken Grizz’s varsity jacket by mistake when they were on duty one night and was offering to swap. Grizz’s slender fingers started to type up a message but quickly deleted those words. No real words could be sent. No real words could describe the hurt Grizz felt when he realised what Luke, his best friend, had done. Yes, he felt betrayed. Luke, who’d Grizz had known since he was 7 years old. Luke, who’d Grizz had stuck by through all of those years. Luke, who was popular with everyone, but never seemed to let it go to his head. Luke, who loved Grizz like a brother. Luke, who Grizz couldn’t tell who he truly was. Luke. This intense thought was interrupted by a slight vibration coming from Grizz’s phone, to which Grizz scrambled to pick up and dropped the phone 4 times before opening up the message.

Sam: Hey; sorry I haven’t been around much. Are you okay?

Grizz: It’s fine, I’m fine. Are you? How’s Eden?

Sam: All she does is cry and poop; like Becca 😂

Sam: I want to see you; can I see you?

Grizz: Haha, I’ll tell her you said that 😉

Grizz: Of course, you can.

Sam: Come to Becca’s house later. 6?

Grizz: I’ll see you then x

As soon as Grizz sent that kiss, he regretted him. Not completely sure why, especially as he and Sam had done far more to warranty a simple ‘x’ on a text, but still. Sam and Grizz had seemed to move so fast, something that at the time Grizz wasn’t aware of. At first, it definitely wasn’t something to complain about. But the day Grizz and the group left for the expedition, only moments after he said goodbye to Sam, that bittersweet departure, he wondered how they’d gotten to where they were.

Becca’s house was the other side of town, and unfortunately for Grizz that was a sure set for him bumping into someone he really didn’t want to see. The last time Grizz had around Becca’s, it was the first time he’d been properly alone with Sam. After meeting in the library, to his Grizz’s delight, Sam had invited him round to practise some ASL. It had only been for a few hours, but Grizz had actually learned a lot. Not just about ASL.

Upon arriving at Sam’s, Grizz contemplated knocking or just walking straight back home. His nerves had started to kick in once again, something that was becoming a regular occurrence when it came to Sam. He doubted Sam even knew what he did to him. Brushing those thoughts aside, he lightly tapped on the door, as if there was a small part of him that hoped no one could hear it. Of course, he wanted to see Sam, but it had been a few days and that meant time to think. And in his current state, thinking wasn’t particularly wise.

Only a few seconds passed before the door swung open as if Sam was eagerly waiting for the other boy. Grizz was greeted by those beautiful, blue eyes, the ones that made him feel all giddy inside. When Sam looked at him with those eyes, it was as if they were made especially for him and only him. Grizz didn’t care if he never looked at anything else.

“Hey,” Grizz quickly signed to Sam, before being pulled into a big bear hug by the smaller boy, something he’d missed in their few days apart. Sam seemed to grip tightly on Grizz’s shoulders as if he never wanted to let go. Grizz was wearing his hair in one of his tight buns; a look that made Sam go absolutely crazy.

“I missed you.” Sam looked up at Grizz, his eyes glistened with complete and utter despair, which was something Sam didn’t like to see. He hadn’t expected things to go back to how they were before; that would have been stupid. It would take some time. But all they had was time.

Grizz raised his eyebrows, “It’s been two days, Sam.”  to which Sam shrugged and led Grizz to the kitchen, which Grizz hated to say was a complete tip. The table was covered in a variety of different baby essentials; baby wipes, a breast pump, nappies. Parent life he supposed.

“You’ve been busy, huh?” Grizz said, whilst picking up a loose baby wipe, frowning at the sight of it.

Grizz didn’t know much about babies. How many 18-year olds did? Grizz had never had much to do with babies or other children. Being an only child and living away from any cousins or extended family made sure of that. Grizz liked to think he was pretty good with kids, he and Luke helped out with the junior football team sometimes and he enjoyed it. He liked to think he’d be pretty good with younger children too. But he never got the chance.

“Babies,” Sam answered and yanked the baby wipe out of Grizz’s hand, throwing it aside.

“You look tired.” Grizz signed hastily, to which Sam gave a ‘no shit’ look.

“I am exhausted. All I want to do is sleep.” Grizz chuckled at that comment, edging closer to Sam, closing the gap between the two. He wanted to touch Sam again, even if only for a moment. Skin on skin. Something. Just something.

Sam waited a moment before asking his next question, unsure whether it would be too raw still. “Do you want to meet her?” Sam couldn’t think of anything better, than seeing Eden in Grizz’s arms. That was what his dreams were made of.

“What?” This had caught Grizz off guard; something that had happened quite a lot when it came to Sam. Grizz couldn’t explain what he did to him, but he wasn’t going to deny that he enjoyed it. The natural path for this meeting to go would likely have included meeting Eden, but this thought hadn’t crossed Grizz’s mind. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought or didn’t care about Eden, but there had been more important things for Grizz to worry about. Firstly, figuring out how the fuck everything had turned to shit so quickly. And how he could protect Sam.

“Eden. You wanna see her?” Sam cocked his head, not wanting to pressure Grizz into anything, but making it pretty clear that he would absolutely love to see it.

Not wanting to disappoint Sam, Grizz slowly nodded, trying to seem as eager as he could at that moment. “I..uh…yeah, yeah.”

“Sure? You don’t have to.” Sam knew this was still difficult for Grizz. Sure, Sam wasn’t the biological father, but he was Eden’s father and he would be for the rest of his life. He never wanted to hurt Grizz or make life hard, but he didn’t want to separate the two sides of his life. And Grizz holding Eden was something he had to see. Desperately.

“Yes, Sam. I want to see her.” Grizz signed carefully, wanting to make sure that Sam understood that he wasn’t going to be awkward. How could he? It wouldn’t be fair of him.

Sam nodded, “Okay.” And pulled Grizz towards the staircase near the back of the house, Grizz hadn’t paid much attention to the interior the last time he was here. He obviously had other things on his mind at the time, which had been on his mind ever since he’d spoken to Sam properly. But the house was quaint, relatively small and had that ‘homely’ smell Grizz could only dream of when he was growing up.

The two entered Sam and Becca’s room, which is occupied by a very exhausted sleeping Becca and gurgling Eden. Grizz stopped dead, like a deer in traffic lights when he first saw Sam pick up Eden. He looked so natural, cradling her in his arms. This image, such a perfect image, still brought some sadness to Grizz.

“She’s beautiful.” Grizz signed this, putting special emphasis on ‘beautiful’, unsure if he’d actually signed it right. He’d been practising this sign specifically after last seeing Sam. He had a feeling he would be using it more often.

“We think so too, perfect little angel apart from when she starts screeching. Loses her charm a little.” Sam whispered this, obviously not wanting to stir the small child. He moved closer to Grizz, delicately placing Eden in Grizz’s strong arms.

“Oh, she could never,” Grizz mused, looking down at Eden, giving her a small smile. She was so small, so tiny, so soft, so clean. She seemed to stop stirring as if she felt so calm in his arms. Looking down at this perfect being, Grizz couldn’t understand how anything could be bad again.

Sam gave Grizz a tired smile and motioned to take Eden back. Grizz complied, carefully handing Eden back to Sam, cradling her head as he did. “She has her eyes, Becca, don’t you think?” Sam nodded again, his eyes started to droop ever so slightly, whilst placing Eden back in her crib. He stared down at her for a few seconds, as if he was in his own little world, waiting for her to drift off once again.

“You need to sleep, Sam.” Grizz interrupted Sam’s thoughts, whatever they were, placing his hand on Sam’s right shoulder, wrapping his fingers down, slotting in perfectly with Sam’s skin. Sam brushed him off, physically and mentally, frowning. Of course, he needed sleep. Understatement of the century. But everyone needed sleep. Grizz doubted anyone slept a goodnight’s sleep the day the expedition group came back. Everyone was filled with worry. Gordie had visited Grizz after dinner that first night back, briefly filling him in on the events. That had scared Grizz. But that wasn’t the main thing. People had stopped going to the cafeteria, only a handful turned up for that night’s dinner. This just reminded Grizz of when Cassandra died; they had just managed to sort it out before it got any worse. But Grizz didn’t think they’d be so lucky this time.

“I’m serious. You look like shit.”

“Is that how you charm all your boyfriends?” Sam muses before realising what he said, quickly looking at Grizz, a worried look started to appear on his face. “I didn’t-“stuttered Sam, wondering why he ever said anything when he was around Grizz. It was like his brain didn’t work.

“Right…” Grizz couldn’t help but a chuckle a little but tried his best to keep it in, not wanting to embarrass Sam. Quickly changing the subject, Grizz interjected, “But seriously, if you don’t go to bed right now, I’m gonna have to carry you.” Now that was a threat. Grizz wasn’t even sure if that was possible. Sure, Sam wasn’t the biggest guy in the world, he was quite a few inches shorter than Grizz, but who wasn’t? From his 13, Grizz had always been the tallest in his class, that’s what made him so good at football. It was just easy. But that world seemed so far away, and nothing in his life now was easy.

Inching away from Grizz, Sam started to pick up some of Eden’s things; a baby pink blanket that had seen better days, the raggedy elephant plush that Gordie had gifted them and a single dummy. Grizz could tell Sam was doing his best to ignore him, but it became obvious that he was failing.

“Come on, sleepyhead,” Grizz said this more sternly, he was genuinely concerned about the amount of sleep Sam was getting. No one was sleeping properly, but still, Sam looked like he was about to collapse.

Sam shook his head, moving away from Grizz once again. “I need to keep an eye on Eden.” That’s all he had done for the past few days. It was the least he could do for Becca, who had carried Eden all that time, and was so damn exhausted. It wasn’t like it was a chore though, Sam relished every moment he spent with her. He never knew anything could be so precious. So precious but so loud. So, tiring.

Grizz knew this tactic; he’d himself used it before when blocking Sam out. This was one of the things he’d regretted. He never wanted that, quite the contrary actually, he wanted them to be honest with each other.

“Nope. No way. Bedtime.” Grizz only signed ‘bedtime’, placing his right hand onto his left eye, and tapped the top of his wrist, where one of his hair ties was wrapped around.

“But-“

“I’ll look after her. Least I can do.”

“You’re tired too.” Sam sighed, he didn’t want to ever put Grizz out or make him uncomfortable. Sure, Eden was adorable, and no one in their right mind could resist her. But Sam knew it was still a delicate subject and he didn’t want to force that onto Grizz. Then again, it was becoming very clear that Sam could not work with next to no sleep. And who was he to argue?

“I’ll come join you, later. When she’s settled. Deal?”  Grizz signed all of this, allowing his fingers to move swiftly and smoothly, once again unsure whether he’d done it right, there still seemed so much he needed to learn. That was something he wanted to request from Sam, but in his current state, thought it best to wait until Sam could actually stand up without his eyes drooping as if his eyes would roll out of his head.

“You. Are. So. Annoying.” Sam enunciated these words, poking Grizz’s chest with his index finger each time. He knew he’d might as well give in, Grizz didn’t seem to be wavering and Sam never wanted to fight with him again, that had been far too exhausting.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go, before I have to pick you up and carry you there.” Grizz started to manoeuvre Sam towards the door, giving him a slight push, to which Sam complied. If he was being completely honest, going to sleep was something he’d wondered if he’d ever experience again. He never knew babies could be so demanding. Cute, but demanding.

“Bossy.” Sam signed, placing his index finger on and off of his chin three times, almost aggressively. This quite new to Grizz, he’d only ever seen Sam sign with an almost calmness, even when he was angry, he never seemed to raise his voice. Which was something he loved about him.

“Stop winging.” Grizz scoffed just as Sam directed them to the only other bedroom in the house, which Grizz quickly realised must have been Becca’s moms’ room. The remnants of a middle-aged woman living there were still quite clear; the odd photo of Becca and her mom, a single David Bowie vinyl and a plush velvet throw sprawled across the king-sized bed. Even though Becca’s mom had likely never even been in this version of her room, Grizz felt slightly uncomfortable, as if he was invading her privacy.

Sam flopped down on his bed, star fishing across the sheets. Grizz turned to leave the room but was quickly pulled down on top of Sam. Sam let one of his hands go from Grizz’s wrist, placing it on the back of his neck, slowly caressing it. He gave him a little smirk, before crashing their lips together, almost in slow motion, like a blurred dream. This kiss was fuller, Sam seemed to have complete control, moving his tongue around Grizz’s mouth, wrapping it perfectly against the other boy’s. his hungry mouth melded into the other. Making sure he didn’t pull away, Grizz slid his body down beside Sam, holding tightly to his head. Their lips magnetised with each other; they were naturally attracting to each other like a type of force of nature. Meant to be. Sam quickly moved his hand up towards Grizz’s head, pulling out his hair tie and gripped onto a lock of hair, pulling it slowly. Moans escaped Grizz’s mouth as the kiss developed and Sam could feel his breathlessness against his own mouth. Grizz hungrily pushed back, working his mouth against Sam’s, their tongues battling with each other, trying to pin each other down. Grizz could feel the heat rising in his cheeks and removed Sam’s other hand from his wrist to feel his face. The kiss started to slow down a little, Sam’s muscles were tiring. He slowly pulled away, but placed a short, sweet kiss on Grizz’s lips before laying back down on the bed. The two boys laid there quietly, both breathing hard.

“Now, I’m tired.”

[btshogwartsauheadcanons]

Beating Some Sense Into You

Pairings: Yoongi x Hufflepuff!Reader 

Summary: After five years of friendship and one year of being his girlfriend, Min Yoongi breaks up with you in the train on the way to Hogwarts. But something tells you he’s hiding something else. Or maybe it’s just you not wanting to face facts? 

Ratings: slow burn, slight angst, pining, lovers to enemies kind of

Featuring: Rogue Bludgers, Wise Maknae Jungkook, Taehyung’s vendetta against Jungkook, NamJiin playing Wizarding Chess in every scene they’re in, Hoseok as the bestest friend, and Jimin as the bestest friend ever but with alcohol

Word Count: 9.6k 

A/N: This was actually one of the first fanfic ideas I had but I never really knew how to progress the storyline until now. Even though Yoongi is my bias I kind of find it hard to write in his perspective because he’s pretty complicated. Anyway, hope you guys like this!

That damn Min Yoongi.

Considering the odds, it felt unlikely that you two would ever meet. He was a Slytherin in his second year while you were an incoming Hufflepuff. You spent most of your time swinging at Bludgers in the Quidditch field, he spent long hours playing the piano in the Room of Requirement. And Hogwarts was a big school, bigger than you ever imagined.

And yet, chance somehow brought you two together on your first day of class. You were wandering the hallways lost when a silver, swan Patronus swooped in and led you to your room. Min Yoongi tried to hide from you that day, but the sight of his dark, green robes and inky, black hair remained imprinted in your memory, saving it for the day when you would finally thank him.

That damn Min Yoongi. 

That damn Min Yoongi who somehow made his way from hallway greetings to Quidditch games, lunch meetings, and more. He was there when you needed help for your first midyear exams, during the first Christmas you stayed in Hogwarts, the first time you went to Hogsmeade, and all the birthdays, feast days, and mini-celebrations in-between. He was there when you lost the Quidditch championships and cried all night and when you learned that some of your closest friends betrayed you. In turn, you were there for him through his panic attacks, through his long nights of playing, and through the mental battles he waged with himself.

You were always there for him, and him for you. That damn Min Yoongi.

The one who somehow made you feel breathless and excited and complete throughout the day just by knowing you two would meet after classes in the courtyard. The one who didn’t hesitate to have a snowball fight in the morning even though it was a Saturday. The one who made you feel like scrolling through black-and-white stock photos of couples with love quotes calligraphed on them. The one who confessed that he would do almost anything for you because of how much he loved you. That damn Min Yoongi, who could make you forget your anger and the steal the words from your mouth with only a smirk.

The one who really, really, really, convinced you to believe in a ‘forever’ or ‘the one’ like how girls and guys do in sappy, trashy, novels.

And now, he’s saying that he doesn’t love you anymore.

You’re dumbfounded, still stuck in that haze of good vibes you got since you woke up this morning and knew that you were going to see Yoongi again on the train to Hogwarts. You get this instead. And you feel yourself shattering into tiny pieces but at the same time you know that with a smirk and a joking laugh, Yoongi can put you back together again.

But he doesn’t, and you remain broken. Because he has that kind of power now.

That damn Min Yoongi, breaking your heart.

…

Yoongi was wrong to think that he could fully bring himself to see you like this. Before, he loved the fact that he could melt your heart just by saying the right words, no matter how few, during the right moments. Now, he knows that this power he has of some sort is a double-edged sword, because it could break you as well.

And now, he’s watching the full extent of it.

“Please tell me you’re joking,” you said, your voice barely louder than a whisper. “I-If you just told me you’re joking, even if it is a bad joke, I’ll forgive you. Just please, please tell me you’re joking.” The sound of your voice makes Yoongi’s breath catch in his throat. He knows you’re about to cry and he knows he can erase all these negative feelings by doing what you’re begging him to do. But he can’t.

“This girl can’t possible be any good for you. And if you’re not going to do anything about this relationship, then I will.”

Yoongi should have known he couldn’t possibly keep his relationship with you a secret from his parents for so long. It wasn’t like lying to them about joining his friends to watch the Quidditch World Championships in Bulgaria. Yoongi would allow his parents to lock him up for a week or two or three for that for all he cared, but if they knew about you, it wouldn’t just be him getting punished. Especially since you were Muggle-born.

And that’s why he had to do this right now. Telling you about it would only make you interfere with things and get even more hurt.

“Please tell me you’re joking,” you repeated, shaking your head. Yoongi could tell just how excited you had been earlier to see him. He could even tell that you dressed up extra nicely and even put on a bit of make-up this morning. Of course, Yoongi loved how you looked no matter what, but seeing you go out of your way to dress yourself up made him feel even softer.

He wanted so badly to say that it was all a joke. Telling the truth would make things hurt less, for the both of you. Yoongi just didn’t trust himself to be able to protect you.

“It’s not a joke,” he shakes his head. “I don’t think I love you any more.” Yoongi feels his own hands shaking and clenches them into fists. It wouldn’t surprise him if you suddenly started screaming at him or yelling ‘I hate you’, even if it was against your nature to. That would make things easier, if you hated him. But of course, you do neither of those things.

“Is something wrong?” you ask instead. “I-I know that you never do anything without proper reason and it’s probably me who’s been doing something wrong so please tell me. P-please tell me if I’m doing anything wrong.” You reach out to take his hand but quick as a flash, Yoongi slaps it away.

The sound is deafening and Yoongi turns away to shield himself from the look of hurt and disbelief on your face. ‘Such a pathetic loser,’ his mind echoes. Yoongi swallows, once, before saying “I’ve said what I’ve said. You’re just making this harder than it already is.” He doesn’t even have to lie.

And with that, he walks out of the train compartment, leaving you all alone.

It feels as if his entire world collapses.

…

For the most part, you are kind of glad that Yoongi left you alone in the train compartment.

The last words he said sounded so cold that it made you tear up almost instantly. You couldn’t even stand to see his face right now, or anything else. It didn’t take long before you had your knees curled up to your chest while you sobbed into your arms. Even now, you would accept Yoongi if it was still a joke. Sure, you’d beat him to a pulp for doing such a bad joke, but you would still accept him. From the looks of it though, it didn’t seem like he was coming back.

‘What did I do wrong?’ you thought as you continued to cry, searching through your mind for any mistake that you might have done that would cause Yoongi to break up with you. But that only made you sadder. Even in those moments when you thought he would break up with you, like when you accidentally skipped out on a date because of Quidditch practice, Yoongi didn’t. And if he didn’t like something that you did, he would tell you straight away.

“Y/n-noona?”

The sound of the train compartment door sliding open and Jimin’s voice startled you. You looked up with tears still running down your face to find Jimin and Hoseok standing in front of you.

“Hey, what happened? Is something wrong?” Hoseok asked, sliding into the seat next to you while Jimin took the one in front.

“Where’s Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin looked around. But one look at your face and a small shake of your head caused them to understand what had just happened.

“Was the fight that bad?” Hoseok asked, running a hand down your back soothingly. You felt your face scrunch up as you swallowed back a sob.

“H-he… broke up with me,” you hiccupped.

“N-no way…” Jimin breathed out in surprise. Even Hoseok had a look of disbelief on his face. “Hyung’s crazy about you. Did he say why?” You shook your head in response again.

“Oh Y/n…” Hoseok sighed, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to let you cry on his chest. You accepted the invitation gladly. Besides Yoongi, your housemates Hoseok and Jimin were always there for you during troubled times.

“Why would hyung hurt you like this?” Jimin wondered out loud and gently stroked your hair.

“I don’t know if it’s something I did wrong,” you sniffed. “Maybe I screwed up.”

“Not even that would cause Yoong-hyung to break up with you,” Hoseok reasoned. “I know he loves you too much for that.”

“Do you think something happened to him?” Jimin asked. “I mean, this doesn’t sound like him.”

“I thought so too,” Hoseok agreed. You sniffed and wiped your eyes before facing your friends.

“Well, if he did, wouldn’t he tell me?” you asked. “He always told me about his problems. Maybe he lost his trust in me…”

“Stop thinking that it’s all your fault noona,” Jimin shook his head. You bit your lip and looked down.

“It still hurts,” you said softly, clutching at the sleeve of your shirt. You always thought that heartbreak wasn’t a real thing but now it felt as if you were running short of breath. “Like, really hurts.” You felt yourself replaying Yoongi’s words again in his head, therefore causing the sobs in your chest to come out again.

“I know…” Hoseok sighed and patted you on the back. “Just let it all out Y/n.”

“We’re here for you, you know?” Jimin added, sitting beside you on the seat and giving you one of his signature soft hugs. It did little to ease the pain you felt though. Because it was either that Yoongi broke up with you because of something you did, or because of something he didn’t trust you enough to tell you about.

“Do you want us to talk to him?” Jimin asked gently. Hoseok nodded in agreement. You looked up at the two of them and contemplated the suggestion for a minute. They weren’t just your best friends after all, they were also Yoongi’s. And you knew that they would do anything to help you two out.

But right now, you felt too drained to confront anything. Sighing, you shook your head.

“Thank you, really. Maybe sometime but not now,” you said. “I think it’s best if I don’t see him yet.”

“We understand,” Hoseok nodded, rubbing your shoulder.

“We could always ask Jungkook to beat him up,” Jimin suggested. “But like, lightly.” You looked at him and laughed slightly at the sudden appearance of Jimin’s sadistic side.

“Maybe save that for later.”

…

Yoongi was completely numb by the time he entered the compartment on the opposite side of the train car from yours. Inside, Namjoon and Seokjin were there playing Wizard Chess. Normally, Yoongi would have said or at least waved hello in greeting but now, he slumped down on his seat the instant he got in.

“What’s wrong?” Seokjin spoke up, looking up at Yoongi right before he moved his knight across the board.

“I didn’t even say anything,” Yoongi mumbled as he stared out the window, hoping that the distraction would somehow help him hide his turmoil of feelings inside.

“Exactly so,” Seokjin answered.

“And didn’t you plan to sit with Y/n on the way to Hogwarts?” Namjoon added. Yoongi felt himself wince at the sound of your name.

“Something happened, didn’t it?” Seokjin pressed. Yoongi turned to look at his two friends who already abandoned their chess game once they sensed something was wrong with him. He could hide his feelings from you, most of the time, but man was it difficult to hide from Namjoon and Seokjin. Especially considering he’s known Seokjin all his life.

“…I broke up with her,” he finally said.

“What the fuck?” Seokjin stated without hesitation.

“I second the motion,” Namjoon raised his hand.

“I… I don’t want to talk about it,” Yoongi sighed and shook his head. But as usual, his friends ignored him and pushed further.

“Did she like… cheat on you or something?” Namjoon asked.

“Idiot,” Seokjin elbowed him harshly. “Y/n would never do that.”

“Can’t you two just drop it?” Yoongi snapped impatiently. The look on Seokjin’s face darkened.

“Your family found out about it, didn’t they?”

Yoongi bit his lip, feeling himself relive the harsh conversation he had with his father when he discovered the song he had wrote for you. Who knew the old, pureblood man knew how to turn on a CD player? He looked up at Seokjin and finally gave up trying to hide from his childhood best friend.

“Yeah…” he finally nodded.

“Shit…” Namjoon said. “So, you broke up with Y/n to keep her safe from them?”

“Pretty much,” Yoongi sighed. “I couldn’t tell her the real reason. She might end up really getting hurt if she chooses to get into the situation too much.”

“But… you still told Y/n you were breaking up with her,” Seokjin said. “She must have felt terrible about it.”

“She did.” Yoongi closed his eyes and found himself thinking about how he left you crying in the train compartment. Hopefully one of your friends came by to comfort you. Especially now since he couldn’t.

“The two of you don’t deserve to go through all of this,” Namjoon shook his head. “I can’t believe people are still close-minded about Muggle-borns.”

“We’ll help you find a way around it,” Seokjin said. “I mean, we’re in our seventh year! Only one more year of sticking around your parents.”

“That’s true,” Yoongi smiled a bit, but only a bit. “I am really trying to find a way out of this. I… I don’t think Y/n is the kind of person I want to lose in my life.” It was a miracle, after all, that a friendship between the two of you grew. That made your relationship practically a double miracle.

Yoongi’s fingers drifted from his lap into his pocket where he still kept the tape he was planning to give to you. Even though he used a laptop and sound mixing software to produce music, in his attic of course, away from his parents’ prying ears, there was still a specific kind of charm in mixtapes. Especially if Yoongi was planning to give it to someone. He was a sap at heart after all. Composing and finally recording the song Yoongi wrote for you himself made him a double sap.

But instead, he broke your heart, making him an award-winning asshole instead.

…

“Y/n… Y/n!”

The sound of Professor Sprout repeating your name finally snapped you out of a haze. You looked down and found that you poured way too much squid ink into the soil of the potted Saturnian Heather you were taking care of. The petals of the blossoms, which were supposed to be a light lavender, had turned into a dark purple.

“S-sorry Professor,” you stammered, putting away the pitcher of squid ink. Beside you, Hoseok glanced at you with a concerned expression on his face.

“Dear child, are you alright?” Professor Sprout asked, looking at you worriedly. You counted yourself lucky that the class you spaced out in today was hers. Professor Sprout never got mad at you, or anyone for that matter. “You seem quite… under the weather.”

“Just lacking a bit of sleep, Professor,” you smiled in reassurance. But nowadays, it was getting harder and harder to smile. Professor Sprout gave a small smile of concern before turning around to address another student.

“Here, you can neutralize the squid ink with this,” Hoseok said, passing you a small pail of extra Dragon Dung.

“Thanks…” you mumbled, taking the pail from him and half-heartedly sprinkling some inside your Saturnian Heather flowerpot.

“Hey,” Hoseok nudged you gently. “Want to sit this class out?” he asked.

“Nah, there’s only twenty minutes left,” you shook your head. “And besides, I’ve skipped too many classes already…” you added. Ever since Yoongi broke up with you, practically three weeks ago, you were miles away from your usual self. Not only did you feel so lonely, even with Hoseok and Jimin around constantly taking care of you, but you were stuck in this haze of worry over Yoongi. But as much as you wanted to ask him, it felt like he was trying to avoid you. And seeing him do that hurt. A lot.

“You don’t have to go to Quidditch practice later if you’re not so up to it,” Hoseok added.

“No way!” you protested.

“As team captain I—”

“Hey, I may be heartbroken but I’m still the team’s number one Beater,” you cut him off. Hoseok raised an eyebrow in surprise before cracking a smile.

“Right you are,” he said, patting your head.

“And besides, maybe hitting a few Bludgers might cheer me up a bit,” you added, smiling to yourself at the thought. Quidditch always managed to cheer you up. In addition, the first match of the season was Hufflepuff against Slytherin. The match was also moved earlier in the year, meaning your team was going to face Slytherin in a few days. Despite the short length of time the Hufflepuff team had to prepare, you trusted Hoseok to have a few tricks up his sleeve.

Right after Herbology class, you headed straight for your Common Room to put on your Quidditch robes. You always had about four extra spares, especially considering how much Hoseok murders the team with practice. Three of them were still getting laundered but you dug an arm inside the chest at the foot of your bed to pull out your last spare from underneath.

“Got it!” you smiled in triumph once your fingers found the soft, silk-like fabric of your Quidditch robe. You gripped it tightly, yanking it out of your trunk, along with a few other things.

Namely, all the mixtapes Yoongi gave you.

The smile on your face stayed static before slowly disappearing once your eyes landed on the cases and cases of mixtapes, each one with a playlist title and tracklist on the cover written in Yoongi’s handwriting. Even though you teased Min Yoongi for six years for being an ‘old school sap’ because of all the mixtapes he gave you, there was no doubt that you treasured every single one of them.

You reached out a hand and picked one of them up. The word ‘Confession’ was written on the side of the case. Yoongi always resorted to music whenever he couldn’t find the words to say how he felt. It was about a year old, a year of you listening to it over and over again.

Five years of friendship, one year of being in a relationship. Was it really just going to end here?

You shook your head, not wanting to think about it unless you were prepared to end up crying by yourself again. Carefully, you tucked all the mixtapes back into your trunk, grabbed your Quidditch robes, bat, and broom before heading out of the door. Maybe swinging at some Bludgers would clear your mind.

…

It was an exaggeration to say that Min Yoongi missed you terribly. Late at night he found himself holed up in the Room of Requirement. Not necessarily to play the piano, he actually didn’t have the strength to ever since he broke up with you, but just because he wanted to be by himself more than ever. When the loneliness became unbearable, he’d go talk to Seokjin or Namjoon, the only ones who really knew what was going on with him, or Jungkook around the Common Room. Despite the fact that he was still pretty young, Yoongi had to admit that he had this uncanny ability of knowing when something was wrong with him.

Right now, he was sitting on his bed in the empty dormitory area. Yoongi still had a free cut since he wasn’t taking Herbology class any more in his last year. In his hand was a picture of the two of you from a few months ago. It was taken after Hufflepuff won the Championship match against Gryffindor. You were carrying the trophy with an exhausted but fulfilled smile on your face. Yoongi stood beside you with an arm wrapped around your shoulders and a proud, gummy smile on his face.

He missed you terribly.

“Hyung! It’s lunchtime!” Yoongi heard Jungkook call as he climbed up the stairwell leading to the dormitory.

“I’m not hungry…” Yoongi replied, tucking the photograph away under his pillow. Jungkook emerged from the doorway and sighed when he saw his hyung.

“You look terrible,” he said bluntly, walking over and sitting down on the bed. It was true. The lack of sleep formed dark circles under Yoongi’s eyes and he was pretty sure his face looked thinner than usual because he wasn’t eating well.

“Thanks for the compliment,” he rolled his eyes and flopped down on the bed.

“Still thinking about Y/n?” Jungkook asked, hovering over him. “I’ve been talking to Jimin. You know she’s just as wrecked about this as you are.”

Leave it to the maknae to be incredibly frank. If Yoongi didn’t feel so fucked up inside he would have laughed. “So, what are you implying?”

“For you two to talk it out?” Jungkook shrugged. “I’m Y/n-noona’s friend as much as I am yours’. I don’t like seeing either of you hurt…”

“It’s not that easy…” Yoongi sighed.

“I know,” Jungkook nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “But you know what is easy? Getting you to eat lunch at least.”

“I’m not hungry…” Yoongi muttered.

“Not an option,” Jungkook said. And with that, he hooked his hands under Yoongi’s arms and pulled him right off the bed.

“Hey! HEY! Let go of me!” Yoongi fought. But Jungkook’s muscles were way too strong.

“Time to eat lunch,” Jungkook sang as he continued to drag Yoongi out of the dormitory, only letting him go once he was sure that Yoongi was coming with him to the Great Hall.

“Ahh, you finally dragged him out,” Seokjin greeted once Jungkook dragged him over to the Slytherin table. Seokjin and Namjoon were already there eating and playing yet another Wizard Chess game.

“Hey,” Yoongi greeted and sat down beside Namjoon.

“Here, you need some protein,” his friend said, passing him a plate of grilled meat.

“I’ll have some,” Jungkook volunteered, clicking his chopsticks to get a piece before Seokjin pushed a plate of salad in front of him.

“You need less protein, you muscle rabbit,” Seokjin said. “Eat some vegetables this time.”

“Fine,” Jungkook pouted, doing as he was told. But judging by the way he eyed the plate of fried chicken next to him, he was still bound to get his share of protein.

Lunch with his friends did turn out quite okay, especially since Yoongi was able to finally get himself out of his room and eat a little. He could also tell his friends were working hard at cheering him up or distracting him somehow. Still, everything felt kind of different from when everyone was around eating together. Not only you, but Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung as well. But now, he could tell they were off taking caring of you instead. Yoongi found himself really missing his other friends.

After about twenty minutes, Yoongi decided to go back to his room and get ready for his next class. As much as he really didn’t feel like going, he knew that maybe it would distract him from thinking about other things. However, once he passed by the Quidditch field on the way, he couldn’t help but notice the Hufflepuff team in their bright yellow robes flying around the pit.

‘Right, they’ll be facing Slytherin soon,’ Yoongi remembered, leaning back against a wall to watch you guys. You were there too, swinging your bat at Bludgers like it was nobody’s business. Yoongi smiled as he watched you, you always were in your element whenever you played Quidditch.

Hoseok was busy drilling the Chasers at the other end of the court while the Beaters and the Seeker trained by themselves. You and your partner Beater seemed to be practicing by chasing after Bludgers and batting them at each other. But today, you seemed a bit… out of focus. The other Beater, Yoongi couldn’t remember if his name was Mike or Michel, managed to hit Bludgers that you were narrowly able to miss or bat back. Usually, you were the one doing that in practice. Now, you seemed to be distracted as you stared blankly ahead during some points.

“Y/n…” Yoongi found himself calling out loud when Mike/Michel hit the Bludger a bit to close to your head. You raised your bat a bit to block, but just barely. You didn’t seem notice, however, that Mike/Michel hit another Bludger right after, aimed at your broom. “Y/n!” he yelled even louder, running out on the Quidditch field to warn you. Yoongi saw you turn to him right as the Bludger hit the back side of your broom. Sending you spinning.

By now, everyone else in the Quidditch team came to watch. Yoongi watched in fear as you gripped your broom tightly while spiraling in the air. Finally, you managed to stop spiraling by leaning your body against one side long enough. Yoongi’s fear completely dissipated by the time he saw you and your fellow Beater fly down slowly to the ground.

…

“A-are you okay?” Mike asked once your feet hit the ground. “I-I should have been more careful. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” you smiled reassuringly despite the fact that your brain still fell a bit scrambled.

“Hey!” you suddenly turned around at the sound of Yoongi’s voice and saw him stalking over to you. There was an murderous expression on his face and before you knew it, he was yelling at Mike.

“You idiot! What are you trying to do, murder your teammate?!”

“N-no of course not,” Mike stammered.

“Yoongi, get off him. He said he’s sorry,” you scowled pushing Yoongi away.

“You clearly saw that she had just blocked one Bludger and yet you batted another one at her!” Yoongi continued.

“It’s p-part of practice,” Mike defended himself. “That’s how we always practice for a game.”

“You could have hurt m girlfriend!” Yoongi yelled, eyes widening once he realized what he just said. You felt your mouth hang open slightly. Yoongi turned to you, blinking in surprise at himself. “I… I meant…”

“Your ex-girlfriend?” you said coldly. You never heard your own voice sound like that. But all the sadness you had built up from before was replaced with rage. “That’s what you meant, right?”

“Y/n… I… I didn’t mean—”

“You didn’t mean to what?!” you snapped. Yoongi looked down, at least he had the decency to look sorry. By now, everyone in your team was approaching you and Yoongi, no doubt to watch the spectacle. You knew Hoseok and Jimin would be the ones to reach you first before everything blew up. But right now, you could care less.

“You know why Mike didn’t do anything wrong?” you hissed. “It’s because he trusts me. He trusts that I can dodge or bat a Bludger and that I won’t fall. Something you seem to have trouble doing.”

“Yoongi,” Hoseok said, appearing beside you. You couldn’t read the expression on his face or what he was thinking. But taking a wild guess, you figured Hoseok was hurt having to talk to his best friend like this. “I think it’s best if you go.”

“Hoseok…” Yoongi bit his lip.

“Why can’t you just trust me?!” you yelled at him. “Why can’t you just trust us? Tell us what’s wrong.”

Yoongi opened his mouth, paused, before closing it again. His fingers fidgeted, his nervous habit, but he didn’t say anything. Appalled, you shook your head and stepped back.

“Unless you really don’t love me…” you said softly.

“Hyung…” you heard Jimin speak up beside you. You looked up and saw tears forming in his eyes. This must be hurting him as much as it hurt you. Beside you, Hoseok stood stiffly. It was so strange that your best friend, who always found something to say, was at a loss for words. You could barely handle the feeling of Yoongi breaking up with you, but it was so hard to watch your friendships falling apart too.

“Fine… don’t talk,” you shook your head, turned around, and walked away.

…

“Hey Y/n, watch yourself,” Hoseok reminded you. Your last Quidditch practice before your match with Slytherin tomorrow had ended hours ago but you, Hoseok, and Jimin were still in the field. You were the one who elected to stay for a while and practice your swing, even though you didn’t exactly need it. Hoseok and Jimin decided to practice by throwing the Quaffle around but part of you knew that they were just around to make sure you didn’t overexert yourself. Right now, you were quite near your breaking point.

“Yeah…” you panted, dropping your bat on the ground and stretching your tired muscles. “Let’s head back already.”

“Good call,” Jimin grinned. The corner of your lip tugged up in a small smile as you picked up your bat and followed your friends out of the field.

“Hey, when we win tomorrow, you should treat all of us to barbecue for dinner,” Jimin suggested, elbowing Hoseok.

“Why am I the one treating?” Hoseok frowned.

“You’re the team captain, of course you’re treating,” you stated.

“Exactly,” Jimin winked at you.

“Treating all of you would finish of three months of my allowance,” Hoseok protested.

“Ooh I have an idea! Why don’t you dance for the owner of the barbecue restaurant. I’m sure the manager has a soft spot for you,” Jimin suggested.

“But by then I bet I’ll be so tired so all I’ll do is this,” Hoseok stopped walking and waved his arms sideways like an octopus.

“Isn’t that just an imitation of Seokjin-hyung?” you snorted and the three of you laughed. Ever since the incident at the Quidditch field, the three of you found yourselves simultaneously ignoring the elephant in the room. Even though you were laughing, it was undeniable that there was still this empty feeling inside.

“I’ll go ahead to dinner,” Hoseok spoke up, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just need to get some notes from Namjoon and all.”

“Right,” you nodded, knowing full well that Yoongi may or may not be with Namjoon at this time.

“See you later,” Jimin waved as Hoseok left the two of you alone.

“So, the match really is tomorrow, huh?” you said, trying hard not to let the silence fall between you two.

“We deserve a break,” Jimin sighed.

“Yeah, I feel like my arms are going to fall off,” you groaned, rubbing the muscles on your shoulder.

“Not just that kind of break,” Jimin looked up at you. “A break from all this… emotional stuff too.”

He meant Yoongi. But right now, it seemed as if just mentioning his name was taboo. And now that Jimin mentioned it, you realized that maybe you do need this emotional break.

“What do you suggest we do?” you asked. Jimin gave you one of his smiles that bordered on shy and sly.

“Want to get wasted?”

…

“Hey, eat something,” Jungkook said, tossing a wrapped sandwich at Yoongi who was lying down on his bed.

“Not hungry,” Yoongi mumbled, brushing the sandwich off his chest to lie down on his side. He felt one side of the mattress give way as Jungkook sat down.

“Jimin told me what happened.”

“Everyone knows what happened.” The entire Hufflepuff team was there after all.

“It’s still not too late to fix tings,” Jungkook spoke up. Yoongi turned to him.

“How is it not ‘too late?’” Yoongi snapped. “I broke up with Y/n. I hurt her because she thinks I don’t trust her and that I don’t love her either. And now, even Hoseok and Jimin are pulled into this mess!” Jungkook blinked at him in response and looked down.

“Sorry…” Yoongi reached out to touch his shoulder. “You don’t deserve to be yelled at.”

“I understand, hyung,” Jungkook smiled slightly. “What is the truth behind all of this? I know Seokjin-hyung and Namjoon-hyung know but, you never told me.”

Yoongi sucked in a breath. ‘I guess it is okay to tell Jungkook,’ he thought.

“My father found out about our relationship,” he sighed. “And he threatened to harm her and her family once he finds out who she is and with all the power that he is, it’s all going to be too easy for him. I need to protect Y/n and this is the only way I know how.”

“Can’t you run away?” Jungkook asked. “I know you never cared about him.”

“I did think about casting that Obliviate charm but, where would I go?” Yoongi shrugged. “I still don’t quite know what to do with my life.”

“Well, erasing your father’s memory seems like a good place to start,” Jungkook pointed out.

“Yeah,” Yoongi laughed bitterly.

“I still mean it though,” Jungkook said softly. “I don’t think it’s too late for you two. Far from it actually.”

“How so?” Yoongi asked, sitting up on the bed. Jungkook sat down next to him and curled up his knees.

“You fell for her years ago, didn’t you?” Jungkook smirked at him. “Even I could tell and I was eleven years old at that time. And you waited for how long to tell her?”

“About five years,” Yoongi found himself smiling wistfully.

“Five years!” Jungkook exclaimed. “And Y/n knows that. That’s not something you forget easily. If you told her about everything, the issue with your father and everything, I’m sure she’ll understand. Maybe she’ll punch you for not telling you sooner, but she’ll understand.”

“But if she stays close to me, my father will find a way to hurt her,” Yoongi bit his lip.

“Y/n’s strong,” Jungkook insisted. “Even more so when she knows she has you watching her back. And if you think you friends are going to leave you guys to fend for yourself I’ll be really disappointed in you, hyung.” Yoongi chuckled.

“You know, you really are smart,” he said, ruffling Jungkook’s hair.

“Always have, always will be,” Jungkook smirked.

…

“Whoa, how did you get that in?” Your mouth hung open in surprise when you saw Jimin pull out a half-empty bottle of Firewhiskey from his backpack.

“I caught our previous Hufflepuff prefect with it,” he grinned. “He’s not an alcoholic but he does like having a drink or two sometimes to de-stress. I didn’t tell on him so he left this with me once he graduated.”

“Damn Jimin,” you shook your head at him in awe.

“I guess we kind of need this now,” Jimin sighed, leaning back. The two of you had climbed your way to the roof from the observatory room, far from everyone else. You hugged your knees and watched as Jimin uncorked the bottle and passed it to you.

“To an non-stressful night,” he said.

“To a non-stressful night,” you repeated, taking a drink. They didn’t call the drink Firewhiskey for no reason. The liquor burned through your mouth and down your throat. It tasted bitter at first, but with a semi-sweet aftertaste, like burnt honey. It made you feel warmer on the inside despite the cool, wind on the rooftop.

“That hits the spot,” you sighed and passed the bottle to Jimin.

“You said it,” he grinned and drank as well. “We shouldn’t drink too much though, there’s still the game tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “You really think Hoseok will treat us to barbecue?”

“Not if he knows we’re drinking,” Jimin giggled. You laughed and took the bottle from him to take another drink.

“Remember when everyone else surprised us with a party?”

“You mean Taehyung’s so-called Post-Quidditch ‘Yacht Party’ but the ‘yacht’ was actually a giant red crocs shoe floating on the lake?” Jimin laughed.

“That one!” you grinned. “Geez, it’s hard to believe that was a year ago.”

“We threw Seokjin-hyung in the lake then.”

“And got into detention.”

“But busted out anyway,” Jimin completed. He sighed and drank some more Firewhiskey. “Those were good times.”

“Yoongi confessed to me that night,” you said quietly. “Right here on the rooftop.”

“You’re really going to talk about your ex here?” Jimin raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t we supposed to de-stress?”

“He still doesn’t feel like my ex,” you said, hugging your knees close to your chest. You closed your eyes for just a second, but in that second, you felt yourself being transported back to that night. It was as cold as it was now on the rooftop and the warmth you felt then wasn’t from alcohol but from having Yoongi sitting close next to you, shoulders pressed against shoulders. It didn’t take much for you to remember the first feeling of his lips on yours, or the slight crack in his voice when he said ‘I love you.’

Before you knew it, tears started falling from your eyes.

“Let it all out, Y/n,” Jimin sighed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder while you buried your face in the long sleeves of your sweater. “We still have some time in our schedule tonight for some crying.”

“Pass me the Firewhiskey again?” you sniffed and reached your hand out. Jimin nodded and passed you to the bottle after taking a drink himself. The burn in your mouth and throat didn’t hurt so much and the Firewhiskey tasted a bit sweeter this time. But not even that was going to make you forget about Min Yoongi.

…

Yoongi didn’t quite plan for him to end up on the rooftop on a Thursday night, but here he was. Or, almost, that is.

After talking to Jungkook, and being force-fed a sandwich, Yoongi found himself wandering through the Hogwarts hallways, not quite planning where he was headed. And before he knew it, he was walking up the stairs leading to the Astronomy tower and the rooftop that held so many memories. ‘The universe really loves torturing me, doesn’t it?’ he thought leaning against the window frame when he heard two all-too familiar voices on the rooftop below.

“Noona! That’s enough! You’ve had way too much to drink.”

“Come oooon Jimiin. I only drank a bit.”

“Clearly that’s way too much. Geez, who knew you were such a lightweight?”

“You’re a lightweight!”

‘Jimin and Y/n?’ Yoongi frowned. He leaned down farther over the balcony where he was at and spotted Y/n and Jimin sitting on the rooftop just below. Jimin appeared to be holding a bottle up in the air while you were swatting at the air to reach it. Judging by the slight slur of your voice and your shaky balance, you were drunk.

‘What’s Jimin doing getting her drunk?’ Yoongi frowned. Of course, he knew Jimin would never make a move on Y/n. But proposing a drinking night was just plain stupid.

“You were just drinking and crying about Yoongi-hyung a minute ago,” Jimin groaned, holding you away at arm’s length once you tried to make a grab again for the bottle. “What the hell happened?”

‘She was crying about me?’ Yoongi blinked in surprise.

“Min Yoongi!” you practically screeched. “I hate you Min Yoongi!” Yoongi practically felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up at how hostile you sounded.

“I know I know I know!!” Jimin hurriedly covered your mouth. “Now shut up or someone’s going to hear us.” You pulled away from Jimin and sat down again.

“I didn’t mean that.” Yoongi could practically hear your voice shaking as you spoke. “I still love him.”

He felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach as soon as he heard those words. Even after all of the hurt he caused you, you still loved him. ‘Could I still make things right?’ Yoongi thought, feeling his hands grip the railing of the balcony tightly.

“Come on Y/n. Let’s get back to the room,” Jimin sighed, tucking away the bottle he was holding earlier and holding out a hand to help you stand up. “It’s late so there shouldn’t be that many people around.”

“Fiiine,” you stood up shakily before completely passing out.

“Aish, you’re so much trouble,” Jimin groaned, lifting you up in his arms. Yoongi leaned down farther over the railing of the balcony until he was right on top of you two.

“Need some help?”

Jimin almost dropped you in surprise at the sound of Yoongi’s voice. “H-hyung?” he squeaked.

”Up here,” Yoongi said. Jimin looked up and Yoongi waved in greeting before jumping over the railing and landing right next to the two of them. It took about five years for him to fully master that.

“How long were you there?” Jimin gazed at him in surprise.

“Long enough,” Yoongi shrugged. He held out his hands, gesturing to take Y/n from him. Jimin hesitated for a bit before handing her over. Y/n was completely passed out with her mouth partially hanging open. She was warm too and Yoongi felt himself smiling slightly at the feeling of his arms around you again.

“Let’s head back to the Common Room,” Jimin said simply, walking ahead to pass through a nearby window. Thankfully, there were less students roaming around the castle at this time. And those who passed by didn’t seem to notice anything suspicious. After a few minutes, Yoongi and Jimin were standing in front of the Hufflepuff Common Room.

“I didn’t mean to get her drunk, by the way,” Jimin finally spoke up, rubbing the back of his neck. “She got drunk after a few sips. Sorry about that, I should have watched over her more carefully.”

“I know,” Yoongi nodded. “You’ve been there for her more than I have these past few weeks, so it’s alright.”

“You know, she’s really hurting over you,” Jimin said, raising his voice this time. He never did this, unless he was really upset. ‘He must be bothered by this too,’ Yoongi thought.

“I know that too,” Yoongi said, looking down at your sleeping peaceful face. “But I know I have to explain things to her, and I will. I’m sure that that’s what I have to do now.”

“You better explain things to me too, and Hoseok,” Jimin added. “We’re all worried about you two.”

“I’m sorry about all of this,” Yoongi bit his lip. Suddenly, he felt you stir as you yawned and woke up.

“Shit…” Jimin cursed under his breath as you craned your neck to look up at the person carrying you. Yoongi felt himself tense slightly, remembering how hostile you sounded when you yelled ‘I hate you Min Yoongi!’ earlier.

“H-hi..?” he stammered.

“Jimin… what happened to your muscles?” you frowned, poking at Yoongi’s arm. Jimin and Yoongi exchanged glances and the younger Hufflepuff burst out laughing.

“I think that’s the universe’s way of saying you should work out, hyung,” Jimin teased.

“Shut up,” Yoongi flushed.

“Wait a second… this is Taehyung!” you gasped in surprise. Judging by your half-lidded eyes and very flushed cheeks, you were still very much drunk. Suddenly, the look of surprise on your face was replaced with rage. You clenched your fist and punched Yoongi right on the shoulder.

“Ow… Fuck!” Yoongi cursed. You pushed yourself away from him and dropped down on the floor in a clumsy fighter’s stance.

“You still owe me twenty Galleons!” you yelled. Then, your eyes closed as you passed out again. Yoongi used his uninjured arm to catch you before you fell.

“Geez, why does it hurt so fucking much?” he hissed as he rubbed his injured shoulder.

“She’s our best Beater, what did you expect?” Jimin said as he picked up Y/n again.

“Make sure she doesn’t punch anyone else, okay?”

“Make sure you explain yourself to her too,” Jimin added. “See you tomorrow, hyung.”

“See you,” Yoongi nodded. He might have just been hearing things or something, but you mumbled something along the lines of ‘See you, Yoongi’ before Jimin entered the Hufflepuff Common Room.

…

“God, I’m never going to drink Firewhiskey again,” you groaned, rubbing a hand across your forehead in an attempt massage the headache away.

“Shut up, Hoseok-hyung’s going to hear you,” Jimin nudged you. The Hufflepuff team was assembled at the bottom of the Quidditch field, ready to take off as soon as the game started. “Here,” Jimin passed you an aspirin. You took it gratefully, popping it into your mouth, and breathed out a sigh of relief as your headache slowly cleared away. You couldn’t afford to be distracted by anything else now a few minutes before the game started.

“Hey, what do you remember from last night?” Jimin asked. You frowned.

“I remember saying a bunch of stuff while I was drunk on the rooftop and then passing out,” you explained. The rest of the night was all fuzzy.

“Anything else you remember?” Jimin raised an eyebrow.

“Why? Don’t tell me I did something crazy,” you said worriedly.

“No, not really,” Jimin shook his head. “But man, you really are a lightweight.”

“Shut up, Park Jimin.”

“Alright, time for the first Quidditch match of the year,” the sound of the Quidditch announcer, Kim Taehyung’s voice boomed through the stadium. “Hufflepuff against Slytherin!” The crowd cheered. You, the rest of your team, and Slytherin mounted your brooms and kicked off in the air. The Hufflepuff team flew by where the rest of your housemates were seated, causing more cheers from the Hufflepuffs, before finally stopping at your end of the court.

“Both teams seem to be in great condition,” Taehyung continued commentating. “Will Slytherin win the game early with our Golden Seeker Jeon Jungkook catching the Snitch? Or will Captain Hoseok’s leadership and strategy win enough points for Hufflepuff? Since Jungkook wouldn’t share his chocolate milk with me this morning, I’ll be rooting for Hufflepuff.”

“Kim Taehyung!” Headmistress McGonagall’s scolded him. You sighed and shook your head at the younger boy’s antics.

“Sorry Headmistress,” Taehyung apologized. “I mean both teams are evenly matched, may the best team win. I still hate you Jungkook.”

“Kim Taehyung!”

“Sorry Headmistress.”

The game begins when Madame Hooch tosses the Quaffle in the air and blows on her whistle. You immediately dart off, chasing after a Bludger to your left. You don’t even have to turn around to know that Jimin has caught the Quaffle first.

“Aaaaand we’re off!” Taehyung cheers. “Hufflepuff Chaser Park Jimin is immediately in hold of the Quaffle and headed straight for the goalposts. He may be single ladies but I bet my entire collection of feathers that he only has eyes for Jungkook.”

“Kim Taehyung!” This time, it’s Seokjin-hyung yelling at him. You chuckle as you grip your bat, flying closer and closer to a Bludger. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot one of the Slytherin Chasers flying after Jimin. You speed your broom up to outpace the Bludger before swinging your bat and hitting the Bludger directly at the Chaser. The sound is glorious, and you feel a rush of adrenaline once the Bludger connects with its target.

Then, out of the corner of your eye, you spot Min Yoongi sitting in the stands. It feels as if time slows down and you can feel his eyes on you and you only. You expect to feel a stab of hatred while looking at him but you don’t. He smiles and waves a little before Taehyung’s voice catapults you back into the game.

“Whoa! Tell me you guys saw that! Tell me you saw that awesome hit from our Hufflepuff Beater, Y/n L/n!” The crowd cheers and you feel yourself smile a bit before chasing after another Bludger. “Man, her biceps sure look scary,” Taehyung adds.

Jimin and your other Chasers managed to get more shots in while you and Mike do as much as you can to throw off the Slytherin Chasers, and prevent Jungkook from catching the Snitch too early in the game. Of course, Jungkook’s dodging skills are as formidable as ever.

“And another awesome bat by Y/n!” Taehyung cheers once you hit a Bludger at one of the Slytherin Chasers who was headed right for your goalposts with the Quaffle. They drop the ball only to be caught right after by Jimin again.

“Good work!” Hoseok yells at you. You grin and flash a thumbs-up before eyeing another Bludger. You chase it down on your broom when you notice something strange in its movements. Usually, Bludgers moved erratically in the air, darting to the sides as well as forwards and backwards. This one, however, seemed to have a fairly straight pattern. And… a target.

‘It’s enchanted!’ you thought frantically, tucking your Beater bat under arm and gripping tightly on the broom handle with two hands as you sped up. The Bludger dipped down, heading straight at the crowd of people sitting on the bleachers. Combined with the force of gravity, it was gaining speed even faster.

“Look out!” you screamed at the crowd below you. Your bat fell off to the side as you continued your high-speed chase. As you closed in on the Bludger even further, you finally managed to pinpoint its target.

That damn Min Yoongi.

“NO!” you yelled. Hearing the noise, Min Yoongi looked up just in time to see the Bludger heading straight for him. You urged your broom even closer before jumping off it, wrapping your arms around the Bludger and trying to change its pathway at least a foot to the side before plummeting down onto one of the seats.

Your vision went dark, but in the distance, you could hear Yoongi yelling your name.

…

“She’s going to be fine,” Madame Pomfrey reassured Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin, for what seemed like the umpteenth time. “No broken bones or anything, thank God. The blow on her head was pretty serious but nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Will she wake up soon?” Yoongi asked.

“She should,” Madame Pomfrey nodded. “Or she may remain unconscious until tomorrow.”

“Can we see her?” Hoseok asked. Jimin and Yoongi nodded in unison. Madame Pomfrey looked over all of them before sighing and giving in.

“Alright, but only you three.”

“We’ll be quiet,” Jimin reassured her. Yoongi practically ran to the hospital bed where he saw you lying down. There were a few bruises on the sides of your arms from where you hit the bench while clutching the Bludger and there was a bandage wrapped around your head as well. But other than that, you still looked okay. That didn’t stop Yoongi from gripping the bedside railings tightly with rage when he thought about the person who must have enchanted the Bludger.

“Does anyone know who he is?” he asked out loud. “The one who controlled that Bludger?”

“Taehyung and Jungkook are still looking into it,” Hoseok answered, gripping his shoulder.

“It must have been on the Slytherin team,” Yoongi gritted his teeth. “I’ll hex all of them myself if I have to.”

“It’s better if you’re here for Y/n,” Jimin spoke up. “Madame Pomfrey said she could be waking up soon.”

“You’re right,” Yoongi nodded, sucking in a breath to calm himself down a bit. Suddenly, he saw you stir in your sleep before blinking your eyes open.

“Y/n!” Jimin exclaimed, rushing over to your side. You groaned and reached for the bandage on your head.

“What happened? Did we win?” you asked, blinking at the three of them.

“Geez, worry about yourself for once,” Hoseok chuckled. “But the match was canceled. Someone tampered with the Bludger and they’re still finding out who did it.”

“They were targeting Yoongi and—” you paused once your eyes landed on him. Yoongi felt himself swallow as he took a step closer to you.

“Y/n, I—”

“Are you hurt?” you asked, cutting him off completely. Yoongi felt tears well up behind his eyes at hearing your concern for him.

“Like Hoseok said, worry about yourself for once,” he choked out.

“We’ll leave you two alone,” Hoseok said. Jimin nodded and the two of them left the clinic. Yoongi grabbed a nearby stool and dragged it to close to you before sitting down.

“M-madame Pomfrey said your head was injured the most when you fell,” he stammered, still unsure of what to actually say to you. “But she fixed it up quickly. No broken bones or anything.” You studied him for a good while before leaning your head back against the pillow.

“I guess I still care about you more than I should…” you said softly.

“And I should have trusted you more than I did,” Yoongi added, glancing up at you. “I know it isn’t my place to ask, after everything I’ve done to you, but will you give me another chance?”

You bit your lip, contemplating what Yoongi just said. And right when he thought you were going to say no, you gave a simple nod of your head. He breathed out a sigh of relief and continued.

“My father found out about us,” Yoongi finally said. “Of course, he was furious, because of your House and bloodline, and he threatened to hurt you and your family if I didn’t stop seeing you. And with all the power and influence he has, I don’t doubt doing that was going to be difficult for him. He’s even fucking friends with the parents of other Slytherins. So, I had to protect you.”

“By breaking up with me…” you finished.

“It was hard,” Yoongi confessed. “I lost sleep over it. But seeing you hurt because of all this, that was the hardest thing I’ve had to face. I thought that concealing this from you would keep you safe but it ended up hurting you instead. And you’re right, it was wrong for me not to trust you.”

“How did your father find out about us?” you asked.

“That was mostly my fault,” Yoongi said somewhat sheepishly. “But he found this.” He pulled out a mixtape and handed it over to you.

“’One Year,’” you read the title out loud.

“It was supposed to be for our anniversary,” Yoongi swallowed. “The first track was this recorded message for you and my father must have found a way to play it while it was still in the tape recorder and—” Suddenly, you sat up and wrapped your arms around him.

“God, you are such a sap,” you chuckled.

“Y-you’re not mad?” Yoongi stammered, finding that he didn’t quite know what to do with his hands before finally wrapping them around your waist. ‘Yeah, this feels right,’ he thought, pulling you even closer to him.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m still really mad at you,” you shook your head but clutched him even tighter. “I can’t believe it took you this long to say it.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Yoongi mumbled. “I’m sorry it all had to come down to this.”

“Young man you have a lot to make up for,” you pulled away from him and grinned cheekily. For the first time in weeks, Yoongi felt butterflies in stomach rather than bowling balls. “You can start with wearing Taehyung’s bling-bling crocs.”

“God, not the bling-bling crocs,” Yoongi groaned as he imagined the red crocs and chains monstrosity that Taehyung created last year. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling at you.

“You’ll have to wear it for a month,” you added. “No exceptions.”

“Fine,” Yoongi sighed. You grinned again before frowning slightly in worry.

“What about your father?” you asked.

“We’ll figure something out,” Yoongi took your hand in his. “I know we will.”

Suddenly, the two of you were interrupted when Jungkook and Taehyung, came running into the clinic.

“Yoongi-hyung!” Jungkook yelled, slowing down to a stop right in front of Y/n’s bed. “You can stay in my house during Christmas break!”

“Um…” you gazed at the two of them. “Is there something I should know about?”

“If you don’t have a place to go to,” Taehyung added. “You can stay in my house too during the summer. Grandma welcomes pretty much anyone to stay.”

“You’re… volunteering your houses for me to stay in?” Yoongi said slowly. Taehyung and Jungkook nodded.

“Aw, he’s going to cry now,” you smiled and patted Yoongi on the back.

“Sh-shut up,” Yoongi stammered, trying very hard not to cry at his maknae’s gestures. “But thank you guys, really.”

“Don’t forget the rest of your friends too,” Taehyung added. “I think Namjoon volunteered to share his closet with you. So did Jimin, mostly because you’re the same size.”

“We’ve all got your back, Min Yoongi,” you held his hand and grinned up at him.

“I know you do,” Yoongi nodded, squeezing your hand.

“Also, if you break up with me again, you’re dead you damn Min Yoongi.” Yoongi laughed and kissed you on the forehead. He didn’t care if Taehyung and Jungkook were watching. They could video the thing for all he cared.

“Who says I will?”

[aspiringhorrorauthor]

Hey who wants to hear the miserable story about how I had to deal with loneliness this year? Feel free to scroll on I just need to write it down to, I suppose close the chapter on the story? Read if your curious, or maybe also need guidance, or just want to learn some tips on how to help someone dealing with it. This will be poorly structured it’s just... getting it off my chest I guess.

People talk sometimes about university students often struggling with loneliness, and often going overlooked because they’re not seen as ‘vulnerable’ as other populations. I mean, look! They’re in a city! They go out every night and piss off the locals! They can’t be lonely!

It started back in 2018 (yup, that far back), when my friends decided that it would be better for my mental health if I didn’t live with them. No lie, that was the actual fucking reason. I was heartbroken; I’ve missed out on a lot of typical “growing up! Yay!” Type things because of my mental health, trauma and bullying and the fact that “living with friends” was gonna be added to the list was fucking heart breaking. But I dealt with it, because I had no where else to turn. No one else to move in with. I cried for like 2 hours solid after they so sweetly told me they didn’t want to live with me because I have *anxiety*. Not even one of the quote unquote “””scary””” mental illnesses (which would have been a MAJOR dick move), just plain old anxiety attacks and hiding from people to calm down. I proceeded to have break downs every Wednesday for 3 months while searching for somewhere to live, bc it was always a stabbing reminder that I was so unwanted.

(They planned to move in with 2 other people so it’s not even like they were only searching for a flat to fit *just* them)

I study 300 miles away from home, literally the exact opposite part of the country. Despite not having many friends growing up I was never lonely because I had a great family who would always chase it away. Maybe I was lonely a bit at school, but I could always come home and my parents chased it away. It was recurrent, but not constant.

I got a place for the new academic year. Studio flat, great location, tiny and over priced to Hell but I was in a safe area which was great because *no one was looking out for me anymore*. I didn’t have flat mates to check I was alive everyday, no one to chat to when I got home. If I got sick, I was completely on my own. My next door neighbour is lovely, don’t get me wrong, but she’s a working professional, and I’m a second year student. Everyone else in studio flats are mature students, masters, phD students or working people. And me. I have so little in common with these people it’s tough to start a conversation with them.

My birthday is early in the academic year, so we didn’t celebrate it until about a month after. Half of my friends didn’t even bother, no card, no presents. Okay, fine, I’m not materialistic, but acknowledgement would have been nice I suppose. This is the only time they came around my flat, and they are the cake I baked to celebrate.

But they inexplicably started to just stop interacting with me. There were 5 of us, they’d pair up in lectures and only talk between themselves between lectures and left me sat quietly trying to speak to someone, ANYONE, because hello? I haven’t got FLATMATES. I talk to NO ONE outside of this “friendship” group. They don’t seem to care much, they just keep telling me how wonderful it must be to live in a studio.

They invited me round to celebrate another friend’s birthday at their shared flat. He gets presents from everyone, including the two that left me out. Their flat looks lived in, there’s board games out while I don’t have room for any of them in mine. They’ve got bean bags everywhere it looks so damn nice. “But your kitchen is bigger than ours!” Eve tried to tell me (an absolute LIE), but they don’t roll out of bed and immediately land in the kitchen. They don’t have to chose between watching tv, eating or living the flat any time they want to dry clothes bc there’s no room. I want to cry throughout the visit, I storm off once were done. I don’t know why. I know now.

Loneliness feels like a weight on your chest. It’s a double edged sword where both edges only cut you. You desperately seek interaction but it also upsets you. I wanted to hang out at their flat because I hadn’t hung out with them in nearly a month at this point, but when I got there I realised they hung out together every. Single. Night. While I cried alone in my room. It made everything so much worse. And they laughed it off.

They stopped posting in the group chat, they talked to me even less. Never invited me out, but there’s no way I could prove *they* went out so it was pointless complaining about it. I was meant to go to a concert with one of them, I reminded her about tickets an entire month before, offered to buy hers. She cancelled 5 hours beforehand. I went alone.

It was a Toyah concert. I fought back sobs in the opening song “Good morning universe”, because it repeatedly asks “how are you today?”. I was awful. I finally had it figured out. I was lonely, isolated, and I didn’t know what to do.

Before anyone gets too sad, the story only continues for 2 weeks past this concert.

1st November, they joke about how Blake, friend number 4, practically lives at their flat, and I get angry. Why does HE get to live there? Blake has flatmates, Blake’s not alone! I should be practically living there because there’s NOTHING in my flat but silence. The internet is on the fritz and I’ve yet to figure out the tv, I don’t even have background noise except the kettle! I storm off, vow to never interact with them again.

I go out for drinks with my neighbour for her birthday. She buys me a pint of coke bc I don’t drink. I hate coke, but I drink it all and chat with her friends. It was a great night.

That weekend I bake pumpkin cake and bread for knitting society, and calm down. I overreacted a bit surely. One more chance, that’s all I’ll give them. The cake and bread doesn’t all get eaten at the society so I bring some for them on the Monday.

Tuesday night is bonfire night. I sit in my flat wishing I could go out and see them rather than just hear them, but I don’t know where to go. I have no one to go with.

Wednesday im sat in lectures beside them, and a friend not in the group but still a friend comes over to chat. One of them excitedly tells her about how they went to a display last night “look at these photos I got of (friend in group)!” I ask if they went out last night, the phone is quickly put away, they ignore me. I ask again. The friend outside of the group is confused and leaves before the lecture starts. I spend 3 hours with loneliness ripping out my lungs, because how could they? They could’ve dropped me a message to say they were going and I could meet up, but they didn’t even do that? Why?

After the lectures finished I corner one of them. The first of my friends at university. The first person on my course I befriended. “Did you go out last night?” “Yes” “without me?” Another runs up “it was last minute it wasn’t planned!” Laughs it off. So I rush off. I don’t say good bye. That was it.

I went home and cried. Told my parents what happened. Cried down the phone to them. “It’s time to cut ties with them”. I know it is. It’s still hard.

So yeah. Miserable story. But any sad story should have a happy ending, right?

Yes.

The next day I told someone what had happened. She immediately called it bullshit and invited me to join her friends. They’re really nice. I like them.

I left the old group chat. No explanation, just “I’m hanging out with X now. Laters” and I left. I wrote my frustrations and explanation in a shitty poem, called it shitty in the poem itself, but also said they didn’t deserve better. They didn’t deserve even that, so I didn’t send it. I think it was a very sexy decision of mine.

But most importantly, through the hardest points, most of my weekly socialisation every week came from the two societies im part of: my society (knitting) and the nerd society. 4 1/2 hours a week of socialising isn’t enough, surprisingly. But it got me through.

But more importantly are the people I met there. I don’t want to tell them what happened, I fear they’ll be upset that they didn’t help more, but they helped so damn much. So much more than could ever be expected from anyone. That final Wednesday, when I’d cried my heart out, 2 people texted me out of the blue and lifted my spirits so much I laughed that evening where I’d cried in the day. Stupid texts too. “Baby rabbits and kittens, cos you’re a vet right?” And “I only just got this message, I would have LOVED some pumpkin cake 🙁”. Poor lads probably weren’t expecting the wild conversations we had afterwards but friendships blossomed from it. Sorry new friend, hope you like the cheese scone recipe you definitely did NOT see coming that day.

The society meets on a Thursday, but it was to be a video watching thing more than a social thing. Loneliness was still tearing me up inside, I wanted to talk to someone damnit! But I went because I needed cheering up. I laughed so hard, I sang theme songs with others, and we all went to the pub afterwards. I’d never been before, I planned to leave at half 10 so I could shower and go to sleep in reasonable time for a 9am lab. I got chatting to the cake boy at 22:25. By the time we left the bar and he’d had his fill of chocolate rolls at my flat (I offered, he was hungry and Sainsbury’s was closed) and I was in bed, it was 00:40. Oops.

But I wasn’t lonely anymore.

Whats there to learn? I suppose don’t take advantage of your friends. If someone is living alone, check on them OFTEN. Make sure you don’t just pair up for conversations in lectures. Invite people round more.

And don’t under estimate the power of a text message. The lack of one ruined one friendship, one daft one about pumpkin cake built another.

(And I baked cookies for my new friends and we ate them in front of the old friends. Get rekt).

[lizord-lord]

I Can’t Decide (Take the Part or No?)

Okay so...remember that little bit I mentioned on this post a while ago....well, @doing-my-demibest made this hilarious little snippet of it but I still kind of wanted to do the whole idea myself, so take this that I have toootally not been putting off lock abuse to write what do you mean XD

Pairings: Platonic Roceit, but no actual ships

Words: 2,897

Summary: Roman’s got a....less than savory part in his newest show, and isn’t sure if he can really pull it off. Luckily for his ego, an unlikely mentor steps in.

Warnings: Sympathetic deceit, implied illegal activity

The door slammed shut, the sound accompanied by a loud, long-suffering groan that echoed through the apartment. Roman tossed his duffelbag to the floor by the door, promptly stepping over to the couch in order to faceplant onto the cushions and let out another pained whine.

“You okay there, kiddo?” Came a voice-Patton’s, judging by the words chosen and the sweet yet concerned tone. Roman rolled over onto his back, throwing an arm over his eyes half out of dramatics and half because the position left him staring straight up at the light.

“Ah, dear Patton-call me the Boulder, as I am deeply conflicted.”

He heard a stifled giggle-and smiled a bit at having made Patton laugh despite his obvious trauma. Then there was a soft fwump-and Roman let out a cry of protest at being tossed up into the air like that-but shut his mouth upon seeing it was only because Patton had sat down a little too quickly on the couch. He decided to sit up.

“What’s up with him?”

Roman jolted a bit-he hadn’t noticed Virgil descend from the stairs, dressed in a gray t-shirt with an alien on it and purple sweatpants. The emo always claimed the best thing about working as a night guard (once he had gotten over the buried memories of FNAF tormenting him constantly, though it helped that the job was at a museum and not an animatronic-filled pizzeria)  was getting to nap throughout most of the day.

“Oh, it’s just a sin of a casting choice,” Roman announced, yanking off his red leather jacket and tossing it over with his bag-nearly hitting Virgil in the face as he made his way over to sit at the foot of an armchair, to which the actor received an icy glare. “We finally got the cast list for the show-” “Ooooh! That’s exciting!” Patton burst out-before he realized that by Roman’s entrance, the choice was not ideal. His face fell.

“...did you not get cast?”

“No, I did.” Roman bit his lip.

“Then what’s wrong?”

Logan had entered from the hall as well at some point-though his quieter voice and slightly louder approach hadn’t startled the actor as much. Great. The gang’s all here.

“Well, it’s Catch Me If You Can..and I got cast as Frank Jr.” A moment of silence. Right. He’d have to explain to the uninformed.

“He’s the main character..but his whole deal is that he’s a conman! He’s constantly lying and cheating his way into every little thing and wandering around without a care in the world romancing everyone he can!” “Wow, wonder why they cast you for that,” Virgil muttered, sarcasm evident in his voice-and Roman huffed loudly. One of his ‘Offended Princey Noises’ as the others had taken to calling it.

“I do wonder! I’m a noble prince, I play heroes! If not that then friendly side characters, I am not a villain!”

“But I assume you didn’t turn down the role?” Logan inquired, sitting down in the armchair that Virgil had curled up at the foot of. There was a pause, and Roman nodded a bit sheepishly.

“I mean it’s a fun show, and I don’t want to pass up the chance..” “Then wouldn’t it be merely a chance to expand your..repertoire?” Logan pressed, frowning.

“Well I guess, but this is my first show with this director-and she thinks I’m meant to play such a dastardly part?” “I’m sure it’s not that!” Patton interjected, “You said he’s a charmer, maybe they picked up on that part of you!” “I guess..” Roman mumbled, but there was still uncertainty in his voice. For a moment his eyes flicked down-and of all people, it had to be Virgil who caught onto the actual reason he was getting cold feet.

“Come on, Princey-you’re an actor aren’t you? You can play more than one type of part, it’s not like all your skill is gonna fly out the window if you’re wearing black.” “I know that!” Roman burst out-a bit too loudly. The other three shared a Look. There was a pause.

“Ro...if you don’t want to do it you know you don’t have to, right?” Patton offered gently-and while he appreciated it, Roman waved it off.

“I know! I just...I don’t have experience playing villains, and I’m not..not totally sure how to go about it,” he finally admitted, hunching in on himself a bit.

“I mean, I’d help, but the whole ‘charisma’ thing is about as far from me as pastels, all I can do is creep people out,” Virgil shrugged. The latter comment got him a warning look from Patton.

“Okay, okay, geez! Not in a bad way, I just mean I’m not like..good at flirting. Or talking to people. Or existing outside of my room.” This fumble did not free Virgil of Patton’s Dad Stare,  but that wasn’t Roman’s problem.

“Seriously though, how am I supposed to do this?”

“Try your best!”

“The same way you always do, I would assume. ‘Get into the headspace’ or whatever?”

“I mean you could always just turn down the role.”

“Virgil!”

“I could help.”

Roman froze. That last comment was from a far lower, smoother voice-and its source had just appeared, peeking its (or rather his) head out from around the corner of the kitchen door.

“Dimitri?? What are you doing here?” Was the first thing to come out of Roman’s mouth, naturally.

“Well it’s not like I live here too or anything,” muttered the last resident of the house, slinking out of the kitchen with a can of Sprite in his hand. “And I heard you were talking about villain roles.”

Roman blinked. “Wait. You do musical theater?”

Dimitri shot him an almost offended look as he took a drink out of the can. “The flair didn’t give it away? I was in drama all through high school, oh all-knowing prince, did you think my entire life consisted of lying and watching 1940’s musicals?”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

Dimitri glared, leaning over the back of the empty armchair to the right of the couch and taking another drink, like he was chugging beer instead of lemon-lime soda. “Wow. I feel so appreciated.”

“Look, Dee, you do kinda spend ninety-nine percent of your life either in your hole of a room or letting a snake loose in the fridge. What ‘flair’ are you even talking about here?” Virgil pointed out, leaning back against Logan’s legs. Dimitri only rolled his eyes, brushing his hair out of the way of his eyes and exposing the port wine stain over half his face to the light.

“First off, your room is so much better than mine. Second of all, don’t act like you know my life, your nights are spend wandering around an empty building full of old paint, I like to have fun on my nights out.”

“Oh, you mean that “game” you keep mentioning you’re busy with? Virgil raised an eyebrow-the word ‘game’ enclosed in heavy air quotes. Logan nodded in agreement.

“The one you’ve never assured us is one hundred percent legal?”

“I never said it was anything illegal either!” Dimitri protested, putting up his hands, but Patton’s stare had now been turned on him.

“Dee..”

“Patt, come on, you don’t think I’d go and get myself arrested now would you?” “That only implies you’re not getting caught.”

Dimitri gave a long sigh, turning back to Roman. “Look. Jack Jr. from Catch Me If You Can-who better to learn from then someone who pretty much lives the role?” He gave a half-bow, a smirk playing at his lips-and despite his untucked black button-up, sweatpants, and can of soda, Roman could see it. Dimitri in a suit, pet snake Cee wrapped around his neck as he shuffled cards with a challenging grin.

Hm…

“Well I suppose it couldn’t hurt..” he admitted after a long moment of silence-and swore he saw a sparkle of excitement in Dimitri’s eyes.

“Well then, let’s begin, shall we? We even have an audience.”

“Fine. You going to demonstrate?” Roman raised an eyebrow. Dimitri sighed heavily, but the sparkle hadn’t left-he wasn’t really disappointed. In fact, Roman could almost see the gears turning in his head.

“One moment.”

He placed the can of Sprite down onto the table and turned, heading down the hall and into his room. He returned with his phone in one had, and a bowler hat in the other. Roman shared a slightly confused look with the others, but Dimitri didn’t seem to be paying attention. He scrolled through the phone for a few moments, muttering.

“Alright...I’ll bet you’d like a song. This could-no, not quite. Too dark, too sad, too loud..oh, now that could work. A little more harsh, but devil-may-care..and he’s got to know this one what with how much Fandom Tumblr over there blasts it..” he looked up then-only to be met with four pairs of eyes fixed on him.

“What?”

“What exactly are you doing?” it was Logan who asked, a bit surprisingly. Or unsurprisingly, given his complete lack of understanding of the whole concept of theater. Dimitri sighed, selecting the song.

“Well, considering our resident extra-vert’s complete hatred of enthusiastic, constant singing, a song would be a terrible way to start off. Now let’s get into character, shall we?” With that, Dimitri pressed play, and popped the bowler hat onto his head, a look of mock remorse falling onto his face as he leaned sideways against the chair.

“It’s..not….easy having yourself a good time…” “Greasing up those bets and betters, watching out they don’t four letter. Fuck and kiss you both at the same time..” he smirked, blowing a kiss in Roman’s general direction-and maybe enjoying Roman’s miffed expression.

“Smells like something I’d forgotten, curled up died and now it’s rotten.” “I’m not a gangster tonight, don’t want to be the bad guy, I’m just a loner baby, and now you’ve gotten in my way..” His expression, one of drippingly fake innocence, shifted into a wide smirk as he strode across the living room with far more poise than any of the others had ever seen-placing a finger under Roman’s chin-and then pushing him away.

“I can’t decide, whether you should live or die! Oh you’ll probably go to heaven, please don’t hang your head and cry-no wonder why, my heart feels dead inside, it’s cold and hard and petrified! Lock your doors, and close the blinds! We’re going for a ride.”

He froze in place- leaning back casually over the couch, glancing over his shoulder-then paused the music. Spinning in place and letting the grin melt off his face, he looked at Roman expectantly.

“Your turn.”

Roman’s poetic and highly eloquent response, was a simple “Huh?”

Dimitri sighed. “You know the song, don’t you?”

“Well yes, but-”

“Then sing it. You can even borrow the hat if you must.”

“I don’t need some dumb bowler to get into character!” Roman protested-and

Dimitri raised an eyebrow, holding up the phone once more. “Prove it.”

He pressed play.

Roman looked frantic for a moment-caught off guard, but it was clear he wasn’t going to be given any more than about two measures worth of time to think. Okay.

Picture.

Dim room. You and Dimitri. Glass of wine in one hand maybe..one-upping him.

He’d never admit it, but imagining the bowler helped.

“It’s..a..bitch convincing people to like you..” overconfident swagger in the walk, not a care in the world..

“If I stop now call me a quitter, if lies were cats you’d be a litter-” he couldn’t help a smirk at the rather fitting lyric- reaching out with one finger to place a light tap on Dimitri’s nose. The shorter man actually broke his attitude of the bored challenger at that, just to reel back with an extremely offended look on his face. It only spurred Roman on. “Pleasing everyone isn’t like you...”

“Dancing jigs until I’m crippled, slug ten drinks I won’t get pickled.” “I’ve got to hand it to you, you’ve played by all the same rules, but it takes the truth to fool me, and now you’ve made me angry!”

The music paused again-and Roman paused, a bit surprised. Dimitri, still looking miffed, crossed his arms.

“Absolutely terrible.”

“Hey!!”

“You heard me, just awful. Perhaps not as abysmal as-”

“Don’t listen to that, Ro! I think you did great!”

Both actors turned briefly, nearly having forgotten about the other three residents of the room. Logan was scrolling through something on his phone, Virgil just seemed to be absently watching-but Patton was grinning wide and offering a thumbs up.

“Ha! See? I couldn’t be terrible if I tried!”

Dimitri only rolled his eyes at the claim. “Fine. You did better, but you’re still shaky, and you dropped character too quickly to be completely in it.”

Silence. That...that was true. Character headspaces were tricky, and admittedly, Roman hadn’t found his yet.

Still stung to have it pointed out.

“Well then maybe you’re just a bad teacher,” he shot back-but Dimitri just lifted up the phone once more, raising one eyebrow.

“Maybe you need to start paying closer attention.”

Tap.

“I can’t decide, whether you should live or die! Oh you’ll probably go to heaven, please don’t hang your head and cry!”

He brushed past Roman, dismissive as the lyrics. The attitude slid back onto his face as easily as water flowing across stones-and Roman glared. Sure, he wasn’t the best, but he could show this little sewer-snake that he wasn’t abysmal!

Ignoring the glare, Dimitri leaned back onto the wall, pulling his hat off his head to toy with it, the smirk spreading back onto his face.

“No wonder why, my heart feels dead inside, it’s cold and hard and petrified! Lock your doors and close the blinds, we’re going for a ride!” He opened his mouth to begin the next line-but to Dimitri’s surprise, Roman’s voice joined his.

“Oh, I could throw you in a lake, or feed you poisoned birthday cake, I won’t deny I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone..” Roman turned towards Dimitri, twirling one hand around as if in thought-and while for a moment the shorter man looked surprised, he didn’t hesitate.

“Oh I could bury you alive, but you might wake up with a knife, and kill me when I’m sleeping that’s why…”

“I can’t decide, whether you should live or die! Oh you’ll probably go to heaven, please don’t hang your head and cry-no wonder why, my heart feels dead inside, it’s cold and hard and petrified! Lock your doors and close the blinds, we’re going for a ride!”

They finished, the last few bars of music playing out-facing each other, mirror images of the same dastardly grin on their faces.

“That was awesome!” Patton broke the silence, clapping with a large smile on his face-and after a pause, Logan and Virgil joined in, though not as fast or loud. Dimitri leaned back, and Roman swore he saw what looked like a mildly impressed look on his two-toned face. Roman grinned smugly, folding his arms over his chest.

“‘Awful’, hm?” “Okay so fine you did better, maybe you won’t totally embarrass yourself onstage,” the shorter man scoffed, turning on his heel and beginning to slink back into the darkness.

“Good job to you too, The Gonda-liars.”

“Hmph.” Dimitri slunk from the room-though before his face was obscured by the shadows of the hall, Roman definitely did catch a hint of a grin. But then it was back to his three-man audience to offer a bow. Virgil groaned, Logan sighed, and Patton giggled.

Yep.

“That was so great, kiddo!”

Roman smiled, even a bit sheepishly, flopping back down on the couch next to Patton.

“Still think it’ll kill you to play a shady guy?” Virgil asked, raising a teasing eyebrow.

“...okay, so I admit I may have been a bit-”

“Overdramatic?” Virgil.

“Excessive? Pessimistic?” Logan.

“Unsure?” Patton.

“I was going to say quick to judge!” Roman exclaimed with a pout, but if you looked for it you could see the playful twinkle in his eyes. “But..I admit that was a bit helpful.”

“Looked like more that a bit, Princey. Or you just don’t want to admit that someone might be better than you at any sort of acting?” Roman almost retorted to Virgil’s little jab, but after seeing the emo stick his tongue out a bit to indicate he at least could have been a bit more serious, Roman decided it wasn’t worth it. For now.

“So, are you going to take the part, in that case?” Logan questioned, and Roman paused for a moment...then a slow smile spread across his face.

“You know, Legally Bland, I think I will. Can’t have a new director doubting my flexibility, can I?”

“What flexibility?”

“Virgil!”

“Personally-” Patton interjected, “I thought it was great you and Dee have something in common. Since he isn’t around that much.”

“I guess.” But the memory was still burning in his mind-the competitive grinning, the snide comments that stung just enough to spur him on-similar to Virgil’s in a way. And..admiration. Yes, he’d just never expected that kind of a side to come out of their secretive roommate.

“I might have to ask him for another duet sometime, see if he’s got that flexibility too.”

Tags: @purediscordhell @moon-of-the-stars  @fivebyfive-finebyfive  @pastel-patton123 @chinesewaffles2 @whatwashernameagain @em-be-lievable @the-incedible-sulk @xx-fandom-potato-xx @why-things-go-boom @patton-croc-agenda @impatentpending

[tinamaetales]

2017 K Drama Journey

It was that one night, while scrolling through my facebook feed that I came across this short clip from Doctors wherein Park Shin Hye is beating up the gangsters in the ER. I got curious so I decided to find a copy of it and try watching a K Drama. I thought, why not give it a try? It was during those times that I was recovering from my PUD and I just resigned from my job and I really want to watch a good tv series and K Dramas are really popular nowadays so I decided to give it a try and, I wasn’t disappointed. K Dramas, as cliché as it may sound, changed my life. Every show I’ve watched was a roller coaster ride of emotions. In addition, they taught me lessons I never expected in the first place.

I would just like to share with you a “summarized” version of my views about the kdramas I’ve watched in 2017 (cause ya know, I’ve already posted my individual reflections about them here)

Doctor Stranger

My rating: 7/10

Starring: Lee Jong Suk, Park Hae Jin, Kang So Ra and Jin Se Yeon

This is an interesting drama to watch because it doesn’t only focuses on the romance aspect but also divulge into the topic of politics and medicine. The best part? The competition between Park Hoon and Han Jae Joon for it served as an avenue for their growth both as doctors and as a person. However, I felt like the romance part in here is a bit forced; I’m sorry but the main couple has zero chemistry.

My fave quote: “…the doctor’s gown you wear? That’s sufficient enough for people to put their lives in your hands. Let’s not disappoint them”

My fave OSTs:

Like Tomorrow Won’t Come by G/O

A Good Day Like This by Jeon Hye Won

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/158622149566/strangers

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/159863753466/who-is-the-real-stranger

Goblin

 My rating: 10/10

Starring: Gong Yoo, Kim Go Eun, Lee Dong Wook, Yoo In Na and Yook SuengJae

The best K drama ever. It’s perfect. That’s all. This K drama will make you value life more and will show you that death isn’t something we should be afraid of – it’s a part of our journey on Earth, an end to a life once lived and it will only be regrettable if you didn’t live your life right. Anyway, this is a story about a Goblin who lives for more than 900 years and is searching for the Goblin’s Bride that will pull out the sword from his chest to end his immortality is surely something that would catch your attention. Let’s also add that he has an amnesiac Grim Reaper for a best friend (lol) and a spoiled brat ‘nephew’ who is so in love with his credit card. What will make you get hooked in this drama? It’s how every character are related to each other both in beautiful and painful ways; yes, even that gorgeous chicken store owner has a very important role. The part that broke my heart in this drama is the realization that the key to ending the Goblin’s immortality has become his reason to stay alive. It’s ironic how someone who has the ability to end you is also the only reason for you to keep going. Ang sakit bes.  It was a perfect mix of romance, comedy and drama.

My fave quotes:

“Every life is touched by a deity at least once. Just when you’re drifting away from the world, if someone nudges you back in the right direction, that’d be when the deity chooses to visit you”

“If god really only gives one as many struggles as one can handle, he may have thought too highly of me”

“The ones left behind should live even harder. We might cry from time to time but we should smile a lot and cheer up. You are obligated to do that in return for the love you received”

“Every human dies at some point, that’s why life is even more beautiful………If today is my last day, this will be my final memory of the person I love so I’d better live hard and love”

“How could you tell me to remember only the happy memories but to forget you? That makes no sense because every moment I spent with you was a happy one even though each and every moment was also sad and difficult. So, did my dying to protect you become your happy ending?”

“I will come as the rainfall. I will come as the first snowfall. I will beg the divinity to do just that”

“Every moment I spent with you shined. Because the weather was good. Because the weather was bad. Because the weather was good enough”

My fave OSTs: (all of them actually, lol)

Beautiful by Crush

Stay With Me by Punch ft. Chanyeol (EXO)

I will go to you like the first snow by Ailee

Hush by Lassie Lindh

I miss you by Soyou

And I’m Here by Kim Kyung Hee

You are so beautiful by Eddy Kim

Heaven by Roy Kim

Round and Round by Heize

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/160115970831/souls

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/161922642721/i-dont-wanna-live-forever-goblin-post-part-2

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/175471572666/hes-always-listening-goblin-post-part-3 

W

 My rating: 8.5/10

Starring: Lee Jong Suk and Han Hyo Joo

One of the most interesting plots in the K drama land; it is a story about the lead character of a famous comic book series who developed “free will” that scared his creator so much to the point that he wanted to kill off his main character. Kang Chul’s (the comic book’s main character) creator is afraid of how he seem to be directing his own story so his solution is to kill him however due to an amazing twist of fate, the creator’s daughter (which happens to be a doctor) gets sucked inside the comic book world every time that Kang Chul is in danger in order for her to save him. This k drama knows no chill by the way, it will keep you on the edge of your seat every episode. It’s intense and sometimes stressful to watch but you will love every moment of it anyway.

My fave quotes:

“But in last moment, he suddenly thought of one word: ‘Come-from-behind-victory’. Kang Chul decided to keep fighting until he found the true culprit – he wouldn’t be able to take back his own life. So he will find the culprit before he dies, no matter what.”

“The first purpose of the characters are to deliver the story. When the purpose is gone, the character disappears forever. On the contrary, when a character’s purpose becomes clear… then the character becomes one of the main characters by force”

 My fave OST:

Where are u by Jung Joon-young

Please say something, even though it is a lie by Park Bo Ram

More of my reflection: 

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/164668803281/hero

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/174726704651/kang-chuls-fight-is-my-fight-w-blog-post-part

Love in the moonlight

My rating: 9/10

Starring: Park Bo Gum, Kim Yoo Jung, Kwak Dong Yeon, Chae Soo Bin and Jinyoung (B1A4)

My first historical drama. It’s charming especially when you have Park Bo Gum as the Crown Prince and Kim Yoo Jung as the female lead, what more can you ask for? The romance side of this feels natural and would make you feel kilig everytime! You will love it to the moon and back. Moreover, the social issues it presented were still timely and relevant. It will make you realize that no matter how many years have passed and how different the government system has changed through the years, if those in position are motivated by their love of power instead of service to people then things would definitely won’t turn out well. This drama shows us that it is when the government listen to its people that it can be effective. The officials should not create higher gates and longer barriers between them and its people but instead open its doors and close the distance after all, without its people the government is nothing.

My fave quotes:

“I wish you would be a king with good eyes because if you’re too high up, you tend not to see people below you. I wish you have good ears – you must not listen only to those who yell before you… Please protect every single person for they’re all your people. Will you promise me to become a King like that?” 

“Rather than a sun that shines alone, he’s a ruler who shines brightly when among his people, like the moonlight—I believe the king is that kind of person.”

 “The highs and lows between me and my people, the distance between me and you—I hope that you will understand my wish to be one step closer.”

My fave OSTs:

Moonlight Drawn by Clouds by Gummy

Melting Heart by K. Will

My Person by Park Bo Gum

I think I’m done sleeping by Soyou ft. Yoo Seungwoo

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/165394639616/the-rebel-prince

Legend of the blue sea

 My rating: 7/10

One of the most hyped K drama of 2016 and even though it fell short on its promising story line, I still get to enjoy watching this. It’s interesting to watch a love story between a mermaid and a human especially when it also included the theme of reincarnation. This drama also shows us the value of second chances – it is an opportunity for us to change the course of our fate but it will be our choice…it’s up to us if we want to be better.

Starring: Lee Min Ho, Jun Ji Hyun, Shin Won Ho, Lee Hee Joon and Shin Hye Sun

My fave quotes:

“If someone is reborn, might it be because they have an unrealized dream? That dream could be an unfulfilled love, or it could even be unsatisfied greed.”

“The fact that everything is repeating isn’t a curse, but an opportunity—to change the ending.”

“But when I make friends with someone, that’s it for me. Whether you backstab or not, that’s your choice. I’ll think about what I’ll do if you do backstab me. Until then, you’re my friend.”

“Rather than being unable to love my daughter because I can’t remember her, it’s better to live remembering her, even if it’s painful.”

My fave OSTs:

Love Story by Lyn

A World that is You by Yoon Mirae

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168356428401/when-history-repeats-itself

 Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

My rating: 8.5/10

If I could only describe this K Drama in one word, it would be charming. The plot is light yet relatable. Easy to watch yet filled with great life lessons too. It will actually remind us of our younger years – the silly crushes, the dreamers in us and the unforgettable friendships we gained. What I like the most about it is the simplicity of its plot yet it will touch your heart.

Starring: Lee Sung Kyung and Nam Joo Hyuk

My fave quotes:

“No matter how high the mountain is, it will not be as grand as your dreams. This is nothing hard! We get back up no matter how harshly we’re trampled upon”

“I hope you will confront that matters (resentment towards your mother and your complicated emotions towards your uncle’s family) squarely. Those emotions such as gratitude, guilt or tiredness from pretending you don’t know the truth.. should burst out at least once. Only then you will be completely free from the trauma you are having” 

“Everyone has a youth. A time that’s more beautiful because it’s awkward and clumsy, a time that shines brilliantly. A time when you’re not afraid of anything because you have nothing to lose, and a time when you’re excited because you can have anything, everything. That’s now, age 24, my youth. Although I’m still uneasy and nervous, I’m perfect without needing anything else.”

My fave OSTs:

You and I by Kim Jong Wan

Dreaming by Han Hee

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168888275251/swag

Cheese in the trap

My rating: 6/10

If you’re looking for a realistic yet harsh approach towards depicting our society in general, then this k drama is a must watch for you. It shows how the real world sucks. It has its charming side too though, especially the love triangle between Yoo Jung, Hong Seol and Baek In Ho and it will sometimes make you feel that both guys are deserving…actually erase that…all of them are deserving of love especially after all the struggles and challenges they’ve went through at such a young age. This drama started out strong but the ending felt a bit empty.  

Starring: Park Hae Jin, Kim Go Eun, Lee Sung Kyung, Seo Kang Joon and Nam Joo Hyuk

My fave quotes:

“Once you start working, you’ll realize you’re no longer the center of the universe, you realize there’re many people who are better & scarier than you and you need to accept that you cannot control everything.”

“People who play victim will always end up like that, losing what they have as they attempt to gain what isn’t theirs” 

“Why is it that people always want what belongs to other people? Then they delude themselves thinking other people’s things are theirs when in the end they lose what’s their own.”

“There are ups and downs in relationship but maintaining longevity is hard”

“No matter how rock bottom you are, you shouldn’t bring harm to people who care about you”

“Don’t put up walls and look down on people because among those people, there are some who sincerely wanted to be friends with you”

 My fave OSTs:

My Time with you by Vanilla Acoustic

Einfuhlung by Tearliner

Just a little by Sweden Laundry

Maybe I like you by Cosmos Hippie

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168925207681/trapped

Descendants of the Sun

My rating: 9.5/10

One of the best k dramas ever! I swear! It tells a great story of love, service and sacrifice. It is a great combination of romance, action, thrill, and philosophy.  The best thing about this is how it executed the differing principles of the way doctors and soldiers save lives. It shows us how we can find ourselves through the service of others.  

Starring: Song Joong Ki, Song Hye Kyo, and Kim Ji Won

My fave quotes:

“Soldiers always live with a shroud on. When they die in a nameless land for the sake of their country, the place of their death become their grave and their uniform become their shroud. This should be every soldier’s mindset every time they put down their uniform. Therefore, be honorable at every moment – there’s no reason to fall short” 

“I’ve been given the privilege to be a doctor, I faithfully pledge my life to serve humanity. The health and life of my patient will always be my priority. I will faithfully carry out my duties regardless of the patient’s race, religion or nationality. I will not use my knowledge inhumanely even when I’m under threat. I hereby take this oath on my account and on behalf of my honour”

 My fave OSTs:

Everytime by Chen of EXO ft. Punch

Always by Yoon Mirae

You are my Everything by Gummy

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/169657649021/sacrifices

Hwarang

My rating: 7.5/10

I once described this drama as oppa overload because it was really filled with handsome oppa! Anyway, this is a great drama to show how the youth, despite them being young, can become the nation’s future. It is when we guide the young people rightly that we can secure a good future. It also shows us how much we needed to be united for our country’s sake because we can do so much better if we work with each other instead of against each other. This is a story of growth and brotherhood. A must watch, for sure.

Starring: Go Ara, Park Seo Joon, Park Hyung Sik, Choi Min Ho (SHINee), Do Ji Han, Kim Tae Hyung (BTS),  and Jo Yoon Woo

My fave quotes:

“It’s only those who possess a lot who fear. If you don’t have anything, you don’t fear anything.”

“Only when they (Hwarang) were able to think and live freely that they can dream of a future for Silla”

“Don’t be silenced by an order created by another. You are not a horse on a chess board. You are Hwarang who are freer than anyone else in this world. The fact that you are Hwarang, never forget that”

“Being young and weak is not a sin.”

My fave OSTs:

Even if I die by V and Jin from BTS

Our Tears by Park Seo Joon

I’ll be here by Park Hyung Sik

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/170972988531/change-starts-with-us

Doctors

My rating: 8.5/10

Starring: Park Shin Hye, Kim Rae Won, Lee Sung Kyung and Yoon Kyun Sang

This K drama will always have a special place in my heart because of how much I love and can relate with its heroine. The focus of this is the life of a great neurosurgeon Dr. Yoo Hye Jung – her ups and downs and how she manage to come out of all the challenges thrown at her stronger than ever. Her life story is really inspirational.

My fave quotes:

“The cells that make up a human are always in a state of instability. To live is to be unstable. In the end, the essence of life is change.”

“Unresolved pasts will always come back to find you whether it’s love or resentment”

“People say that forgiveness is not for others but for yourself. They shouldn’t say such things. Forgiveness isn’t as light as it sounds.”

“When doctors become guardians, they too are merely impotent humans.”

“A genuine meeting can change a person. The person I am with right now could change my life. That’s why a person can be both hope and despair”

 “I had once dreamt of revenge — killing everyone and myself. But there is such a thing as karmic justice, and at the center of that is not me, but the world.”

My fave OSTs:

No Way by Park Yongin  and Kwon Soonil of Urban Zakapa

It’s Love by Jung Yup

Sunflower by Younha

That’s the way it is by Se O

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/173628552981/what-doesnt-kill-you-makes-you-stronger

It was one heck of a roller coaster ride, right? I think it’s safe to say that my 2017 k drama journey was lit af! Now I’m looking forward for more!

 X,

TinaMae

[taetaesource]

The Crown Prince

Chapter 1 

Taehyung and you were bound by marriage at birth. He swore to only have one queen and to marry for love but somehow things changed. 

The sun was shining down. The road was never ending. There was no trees or life in view. The sand on the ground was scorching and the sun burning on the back. 

“After walking through this, there should be a small river and then the village would be near...” this was what Taehyung was told, but he has been walking for close to 2hours in this heat and he was dying of thirst as he has finished his water. 

Every step he took felt like a thousand miles. He fixed his eyes on the ground as he did not have the strength to look up. Occasionally would glance up to see if the end was near but as he carried on walking, he felt weaker and weaker. Eventually, he found it hard to even keep his eyes open. He stopped walking but the sun rays did not stop hitting on his back and the top of his head. He could gathered all his strength to raise his head and squinted to see if there was any form of shade for him to hide in. The road ahead was vast and empty, the brightness of the sun eventually took over and Taehyung collapsed, closing his eyes and giving in to the brutal heat and exhaustion. 

The next thing he felt was water touching his lips and going into his mouth and down his throat. He felt a wet and cool sensation on his forehead like as if someone placed a wet handkerchief over his head. He opened his eyes slowly and the sun suddenly did not seem so bright anymore. There was someone in front of him blocking the sun rays. 

“Hey are you okay?” He heard a voice. 

He could not fully open his eyes yet and he was focused on getting the water into his system until he felt much better. 

“If you could get up and walk a bit more, there is a little stream further up and the area has more shade. You could get some rest there.” 

Taehyung could not think straight but he gathered his strength and with the help of the person, he managed to drag himself to the shade after walking for what felt like forever. He collapsed under a tree and drifted into unconsciousness again. Though he was asleep, he could feel the same cooling sensation over his forehead and neck, and occasional breezes as if someone was fanning him. 

When he regained consciousness again, he felt his energy returned. He could see that it was you who was helping him out all these while. 

“Are you okay?” you asked, offering him more water. 

Taehyung gulped down the water and nodded. He swallowed loudly and in relief, “wow I almost died. Thank you...” 

You smiled and stood up, preparing to turn and leave. 

“Hey! Wait.” 

You turned and stared at him with big curious eyes. 

Taehyung turned shy all of a sudden and his voice became smaller. “Thank you for saving my life,” he grinned while scratching the back of his head. 

You nodded and went on your way. Taehyung quickly got up and followed behind you. 

You looked back every now and then and found that this person you have just saved was following where you were going. When you quicken your steps, Taehyung would quicken his steps behind. And when you turned to look behind, he would slow down or stop in his tracks. You were getting worried that he might be a stalker. 

“Actually, it was really no big deal. I just happened to pass by that road and saw that you fainted. Many people have fainted because the weather here is just crazy. You don’t have to think so much about it.” You finally stopped and turned around to tell him off, in hopes that he would back off after that. 

“I am not thinking too much about it.” 

“Then why are you following me?” 

“Because I am heading in the same direction as you?” 

“And where are you heading to?” 

“Why should I tell you?” 

“Because you are following me?” 

“I told you I am not, I am heading in the same direction.” 

The both of you stared at each other eye-to-eye. You were getting annoyed and Taehyung was not backing down. 

You were pretty sure Taehyung was stalking you. The road that you were heading leads you back to only one place which was Seorae village, where your home was. It was a small village where everyone knew one another, and if there were any visitors, the village would be informed beforehand. Since there were no news of any visitors and you had not seen Taehyung around before, you knew he was trying to be funny. 

You quickened your footsteps and took Taehyung round and round in circles, hoping that he would stop following you. When you were walking through the forest, you quickened your steps and Taehyung was trying hard to catch up. The tall grass and vegetation around made it hard for him to navigate and you could tell that he was unfamiliar with places like this. You thought your chance to get rid of him was here.

When Taehyung lost sight of you, he would be flustered and sometimes call out, "hey." And when he caught glimpses of you, he would shout out, "wait for me", and ran to catch up with you.

You were so pissed with him that you decided to hide behind a tree and wait for him to pass before going your way. You crouched down low behind a big tree amongst the low lying ferns and vegetation and watched Taehyung.

That boy was walking in circles, looking around frantically when he found you missing. The look of panic on his face was real and after awhile he looked like he was about to cry in desperation.

"Hey!" He shouted.

"Where are you?" He looked in all directions.

"I am not following you.... I am a good person...."

"Don't leave me alone, please...."

At this point, your heart softened. He did not seem like a weird guy either. You just didn't know if he could be trusted.

"I am looking for Seorae village. If you could tell me how to get there, I would stop following you...."

"I thought you said you were not following me?" You stood up from where you were.

Taehyung's face when he saw you was a kind of joy that a child had when he saw an ice cream on a hot day. He ran towards you.

"Why are you going to Seorae village?"

"Because my father sent me there."

"Who is your father? Why is he sending you there?"

Taehyung looked away and scratched his head before answering, "well, he said that I have been there when I was a child, and thought it would be a good idea for me to go back and... maybe say hi."

You squinted your eyes at him, not believing what he said. You told him to follow you anyway and thought he could not do anything funny since there were more people in the village anyway.

When you reached Seorae, you immediately ran to the town hall to inform your father who was the village chief while Taehyung toured around the place slowly. He was looking at the architecture of the village with curious eyes as he had never seen a place like this before. 

Your father had never heard of this visitor and was slightly alarmed that somebody casually quoted that he had grown up in this village. He summoned the village elders and the stranger to the hall to find out who that stranger was. 

Upon questioning, Taehyung kept stuttering and seemed to have many things to hide. He told the village elders that his father had sent him here and told him to visit this place as they had lived here for a short while before. When asked about who his father was, Taehyung refused to give his name which caused much unhappiness to the elders. 

“Young man, you have intruded into the homes of people, claiming to be at the orders of someone who told you that you grew up here. But none of us here has ever met you, and your refusal to name this person who sent you here gives us many reasons to suspect that you are a threat to the peace and security of this village.” Your father said with a glare and a firm voice. 

“May I... speak to you in private, sir?” Taehyung gestured while speaking cautiously. 

“What is it that you can’t speak openly about?” Your father almost roared. 

“I..... I.... please sir.” Taehyung looked at your father with sincere eyes. 

When Taehyung and your father were in a private room, Taehyung took out a scroll and a keepsake ornament which your father fell to his knees upon recognising the items. 

“My father has sent me here to bring someone back.” 

Your father had his face bowed to the ground, he spoke without looking up, “it is my blessing that Your Majesty has not forgotten about his lowly servant.”

“Father has never seen his people as lowly. He will never forget about his promises to his people.” 

“Indeed,” your father answered with his head still on the ground. 

“In a few days time, somebody from the palace will make an official summon to this village. Before that, please do not let anyone know-” 

“My child knows about the promise. She knows that one day she will-” 

“Before that, do not let her know of my identity. Do not let anyone know that I am the crown prince.” 

[suit-lady]

At One Hundred Two.

Pairing: Tom Holland (Unrequited) x Reader

Summary: Inspired by 102 by Matty Healy. In which Tom has fallen in love with a close friend who has no idea... and then falls for someone else. And in which Tom has to learn to let go.

Warnings: Swears, I think. Uh, Tom cries? I think that’s a fair warning because bby is sad... Other than that, no?

Words: 2850 (whoops it’s way past my bedtime)

A/N: Yo I did my best to keep this as gender-neutral as possible even though the song is very much straight. So shoot me an ask if I fucked something up, thank you. Also, I’m gonna keep my tag list off this one because it’s been so long... I might just erase it and start over. If you still wanna be tagged (or if you’d like to start being tagged!), shoot me an ask as well! Thanks for supporting me xoxo Also yo I listened to 102 for the first time ever today and it had me so far in my feels my dudes so if you’ve never listened to it get fucking ready. Ps, the link is to a tumblr post because the quote from Matty helped inspire as well.

Snow fell softly around you. You were out on a midnight walk with Tom. Though you didn’t know it, he was watching you out of the corner of his eye, memorizing the way you looked that night. The two of you were littering the fresh snow with your boot tracks as you walk, talking about everything and nothing.

Tom had picked you up from your house, and the two of you were walking back to his to watch a few movies and warm up your freezing toes. When you’d first stepped outside, he’d complimented your brand new Timberlands, and you’d excitedly told him about how they were a gift from a family member and blah blah. You kept looking back at the tracks in a satisfied fashion as you walked. Tom tried to hide the smile on his face every time you did.

“Tom, you really don’t think you’re gonna finish the final paper of the term in just a few days, do you? I’ve nearly finished mine already,” you were saying, your voice muffled behind your scarf.

“Sure I do! I only need a night and a fresh-brewed pot of coffee. It’ll be a Christmas miracle.”

He felt you roll your eyes as you said, “Tom,” drawing out his name, “you at least need to get started this weekend. The draft is due Friday, and you know our instructor expects a lot from you.”

“It’s senior year, (Y/N). Relax a little.”

“Thomas Stanley Holland!” you cried, whirling on him. The outburst caused him to stop in his tracks. “You better not be getting senioritis on me already! It’s fucking December!”

Your eyes were wild with playful fury, and your nose was rosy despite your efforts to hide it from the wind. Sheepishly, Tom rubbed the back of his neck with a chuckle. He looked off to the side, focusing on the snow. He couldn’t bear to look at you; you were so adorable when you got passionate about things. From experience, he knew that it was written all over his face how he felt.

“You’re getting started tonight.”

“Sure, (Y/N). After we watch The Polar Express.”

You sighed and took his arm. “Alright then, let’s go.”

Face red from what he hoped you assumed was wind, the pair of you walked the rest of the way to his house in silence, just watching the snow fall. You never let go of his arm, and the butterflies nearly smothered him. When you arrived at his, however, you ran off to give hugs ‘hello’ to Nikki and Sam and Harry and Paddy and Dom, and Tom quietly covered the floor of the den with pillows and blankets (a “pillow nest,” as you’d call it), and put on the movie. He swapped his jeans for a pair of sweats while Nikki grabbed yours from the laundry room.

Before the movie was over, you were sound asleep. Tom held his breath as he moved his arm around you and drew circles on your arm with his fingers. In your sleep, you cuddled up to him, and Tom chewed on his lip. Why couldn’t he say anything? He hated being like this, but he was too afraid that you didn’t feel the same.

Once the end credits began to roll, Nikki came into the room to help Tom make a makeshift bed for you on the couch. Tom gently woke you while Nikki tucked a blanket into the couch and laid another one over the back for you to cover up with. Sleepily, you clung to him as you stood, too tired to keep yourself up. Tom tucked you in, whispering a goodnight that lacked the trade of “I love you”s he so badly wished for.

“You know, (Y/N) could be sleeping in your bed with you by now, if you’d just say something,” Nikki whispered as she walked Tom to his room.

“I know, Mum,” he replied with a roll of his eyes, mostly at himself. “But what if it’s not mutual?”

“I’d be surprised if it wasn’t, dear.”

With a shrug, Tom headed off to bed. He laid there, so close but so far from you. For what felt like ages, he scrolled through pictures of the two of you from the past few years. He could see himself fall in love with you over time, and his heart ached. All he had to do was put himself out there, but he couldn’t. Sighing, he eventually decided to sleep. Putting his phone on the nightstand, he checked the time: 01:02.

 -

 Months passed, and the pair of you spent more and more time together. The twins would refer to you as “Tom’s datemate” when you weren’t around because it made Tom’s face turn bright pink. After a while, Nikki and Dom had stopped casually mentioning that they wouldn’t mind if Tom married you, deciding that he’d tell you when he was ready. Before he told you, however, you went off to university and he started his acting career. They never told him, but Tom’s parents were beginning to worry that he’d lost his chance with you.

Then, when you came home for a break, Tom went over to visit you. You had been texting for hours, but the conversation had turned into something Tom figured he’d want to be in person for. As quickly as he could, he made the walk to your house. Before knocking, he checked the time: 01:02. It had become “your time” for whatever reason.

You swung the door open, wearing navy and white pajamas. “Come on in; I’ve just been listening to the radio in my bedroom.”

He followed you upstairs, and stayed in your room for hours. After you swore yourself to secrecy, he told you about all the amazing things he was getting to be a part of. He had an actual agent now, and the agent was helping him get real auditions! He might get to do this if he hears back, and he’s got a callback for that, and he’s just so happy, (Y/N), and he really can’t believe any of it’s happening, and he’s so glad you’re home so that he can share it with you, at least for a little while. With the huge smile you were giving him, he could have talked forever.

“…but anyway,” he started after trailing off, “what about you? How’s uni?”

“Oh, Tom, uni is amazing,” you said, your smile changing to one of nostalgia.

You told him about all the writing you’d been doing and all the pictures of the beautiful new places you’d been, and you even showed him a few pictures. Early in the semester, you had made a few friends who were from the area, so you’d eaten at all the best local places and there was this one place that you were sure he’d love if he visited. If he did manage to make it to your university, he could meet all your friends, and he could check out this tree that you really liked sitting under to read books and take pictures and watch people, and he could go on a walk at the beach with you and see the sunsets because the sunsets were always so beautiful on the water, and you wished the distance wasn’t so far because you missed him dearly as well, and you were so glad he’d come over.

“Wow, sounds like uni’s got you quite busy.”

“Oh, yes, but I’ve somehow managed to get hooked on someone there.” You blushed and looked away as Tom’s heart shattered.

“Oh?” Tom asked, doing his best to swallow his feelings that were forming a massive lump in his throat.

“I know, right? Who would have thought?” you said with a laugh.

Then, you launched into a description that seemed to go on for hours. Dark brown hair in gorgeous curls. Deep brown eyes that were apparently soul-piercing. Taller than you, but not incredibly tall. Fit, but not muscular. Had a laugh that was contagious, even when you were terribly sad. Smart, too, and helped you out in that one subject you’d always had trouble in. This “special someone” seemed like a dream come true.

“A dream and so much more,” you told Tom, and Tom felt like he could throw up.

You invited Tom to sleep on the couch “like old times” because you missed him. He told you he had promised Nikki to do chores early the next morning. A frown contorting your features, you walked him out. The hug goodbye was much shorter than usual; Tom apologized and made the excuse that he needed his sleep. Once he fell asleep, in his own bed, so far from you in more ways than one, he didn’t wake up until the late afternoon.

 -

 Years passed with things being just like they were. Every once in a while, you would bring up this “special someone” that you were always too afraid to admit your feelings to. You learned not to, because Tom would always bristle like the protective best friend you knew he would be once you found someone you really liked. Things were perfectly normal, as far as you knew. Many nights, however, Tom would lie awake, wondering how he could have let himself lose you.

One night, as Tom was getting ready for bed, he put on an old tee shirt. Immediately, he regretted his decision. He hadn’t seen you for months due to press tours; however, the shirt still held your smell so strongly he could have sworn you’d been in his arms an hour ago. Stunned, he half-sat, half-fell onto his bed. He was surrounded by your smell, and memories of you bombarded him from all sides.

Before he knew it, he was crying. Here he was, in love with his best friend who’d had no idea for nearly eight years. He had everything he’d ever wanted: He was Spider-Man, he was touring the world, he was supposedly loving life. One thing, however, was missing from the equation: you. He’d never had a single chance to share any piece of his amazing life with you, and he hated it. Everything would be perfect if only you were there to witness it, but you were off enjoying life doing things he’d never be a part of either. Though he tried not to admit it, it killed him.

Eventually, he stretched himself out, mentally scolding himself. He reached his arm out and tried to find his phone in the pitch darkness of his room. After finally being successful in his search, he dialed your phone number. He checked the time as he listened to the ringing: 01:02, as if it was fate. Gritting his teeth, he cursed the time. Of course. It just had to be 01:02. Why wouldn’t it be?

You answered on the third ring, “Hello Tom! I was just thinking about you!”

“You were?” Had he sounded too hopeful?

“Yeah! I’m coming home in a few weeks! We should plan to do lunch or something. I have so much to tell you about uni… Junior year is crazy.”

You started telling him about classes again, and about your ongoing projects, and about the cool things your friends were doing, and about how pretty everything was, and how excited you were for this and that and the other upcoming thing. Unable to contain the smile on his face, Tom lied there in the dark, just listening. Your voice had been his favorite sound since he was seventeen, and it still was at twenty-one. Still, after all this time, you had no idea. Tom was surprised at how oblivious you were. Maybe you’d just gotten used to the way he looked at you.

“But that’s not nearly as exciting as all the things you’re doing, Mr. Spider-Man! The trailer for Spider-Man: Homecoming came out a bit ago, and I loved it! I’m so excited to go and see it with my friends come next July!”

“Yeah? I really hope you like it.”

“Even if I hate the movie—which I already know I won’t, I know I’ll love Peter Parker, since I already know I love you, Thomas Holland.”

“I love you too, (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” he said with more meaning than you did.

“But hey, Mr. Superhero,” you said, your tone getting more serious. “Have you found someone to give all your love to yet?”

“Not since signing with Marvel, no,” he responded. Before. So long before.

“Awh, Tom! Are you sure you’re looking hard enough? There are tons of amazing people out there who would love to have you.”

“Yeah? Like who? Know anyone up at your uni?”

You laughed, and Tom’s heart ached. “I’ve tried so many times, but you always stop talking to them after a few dates. I obviously don’t know what your type is.”

Tom laughed too, and ironic laugh. “Guess not.” It’s you.

“Speaking of love, though, you won’t believe this!”

Then, just like that, you’d launched into yet another story about your “special someone” who you’d admired since you’d gone to uni but never told. You just admired from afar, and this person was none the wiser. Beyond words, Tom was jealous. You’d just talk and talk and talk about your friend—you always said you’d never say anything because the two of you were close. How ironic. This friend was just so smart, so kind, so gorgeous—so absolutely perfect. Even though you were in your final year at uni, Tom had always managed excuses and had never been up to visit you. He’d done this on purpose because he never wanted to meet this friend that you’d secretly fallen in love with. Maybe, if you met this friend, they’d be able to see that he was secretly in love with you.

Eventually, you grew tired enough that you were yawning every time you took a pause between stories, and then between sentences. “Tom, I think I’m gonna go ahead and go to sleep… It’s been lovely talking to you.”

“Yeah, you too. Goodnight, (Y/N).”

“Goodnight, Tom.”

“I love you,” Tom said after you hung up.

He lied in bed, trapped in the sheets and you scent, for hours. He was plagued with more memories of you than he had been before he called you. When he closed his eyes, he could see your smiling face, but all he could hear about was the one who had stolen your heart away. He covered his face with his pillow so that his sobs were muffled. He didn’t remember falling asleep.

 -

 Months passed. Every once in a while, the pair of you would catch up, but you eventually grew away from each other. Tom was always filming when you had breaks from school, and senior year ended up being extremely hectic for you. At first, Tom had tried to keep contact with you, but it proved to be too difficult to factor in all the time zone differences when he was really the only one who cared all that much.

He started worrying about other things, like founding the Brothers Trust and using his growing presence for good. Eventually, you were pushed to the back of his mind. He wasn’t sure when, but in the craziness of all the new in his life, he fell out of love with you. He had no idea how easy it had been, but it had happened.

One break, in between the European and the American pre-release press tours, Nikki was able to tell something was different. She was folding laundry when she asked him, “Hey sweetheart, I was just wondering, do you know how (Y/N) is doing? Isn’t senior year just about over?”

The question surprised him, and his answer surprised himself even more. “Actually… I have no idea. I’m not sure when we talked last.”

At the time, he was playing with Tessa, so he told himself to text you later asking you how you were. He never did, and Nikki never asked again. She suspected that Tom would bring it up if he ever heard from you. Once a few days passed with nothing from Tom, he figured that either you’d gotten too busy for him or that he’d gotten too busy for you. When Tom blew Harry off very casually when he called you “Tom’s datemate,” Nikki was sure it was the latter.

Come April, the Hollands received an invitation to come to your graduation. Tom texted you from Dallas saying that he’d be in New York when you were getting your diploma. With little thought, he wished you a congratulations that you replied some sort of “thank you” to. He didn’t really bother after that.

 -

 It’s been months since he’s spoken to you, he still considers 01:02 to be “your time.” Every time it’s 01:02, he thinks of you. Now, however, he only reminisces for a little while before letting you go. After all, he lost his chance with you, if he ever had one in the first place.

 Fin.

[tweenw]

The Godfather-(Derek Hale)

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Scott McCall, Derek Hale and (Y/N)

Pairing: Derek Hale x Reader

Word Count: 1950

Warnings: swearing

Summary: (Y/N) and Derek meet again after 6 years of being apart

Masters of None, watched. RuPauls Drag Race, watched. Orange is the New Black, watched. As I scroll through the suggested Tv Shows on Netflix, I realise that I’ve probably watched them all already. That is the sad reality of my life since I’ve come back to Beacon Hills, only to find out everything has gone awol and I cannot help. My cousin Scott and Stiles are still busy running around trying to save the town from mythical creatures, Lydia is always locked in her house due to her paranoia since Eichen, and Derek hasn’t bothered to get in touch. I guess I could get over my three friends not really having time for me, but not Derek. No, because unlike the other three, Derek has been my one love for the past six years. And during those six years, we haven’t spoken once. But we were both busy. Him with staying alive and me with University. But now that I’m back, I’m not going to let him get away with getting off the grid. No. Now that I’m older, I’m not going to let him get away for a second time. 

“You’re nuts. You’ve officially gone insane. I knew this would happen one day, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.” Stiles throws his hands up in the air and begins to shake his head, but not before looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. 

Stiles and Scott have been best friends since anybody can remember. Which ultimately lead to me and Stiles also becoming best friends, which means that we share every possible secret with each other. Like that one time he told me he spied in on the girls changing rooms just to see Lydia, but ended up seeing Scott’s girlfriend Allison instead. So it shouldn’t be surprising that I tell him secrets too. Like the one about my massive crush on the local sourwolf, Derek Hale. 

“Oh calm down, someone might hear you.” I hiss at Stiles as I grab him by his arms and sit him back down at our lunch table before he has the chance to attract unnecessary attention. That would be the last thing I’d need right now.

“I’m sorry but you just told me you’re in love with Derek fucking Hale. Do you expect me to be all ‘aww that is so adorable’? Nope. This is major. How well do you even know the guy? Hell, does anybody even know the guy?” Stiles deadpans me, but his eyes are playful. 

I groan a little. Maybe telling Stiles wasn’t the best of ideas. But I just need some help on how to repress my crush and get on without Derek in my life, and who else to ask than the boy constantly getting rejected by his crush?

Stiles sighs and looks at me with a little pity. At least his crush is his age, and not like six years older than him, and is into people her own age. God I wish I were older. But what’s a few years anyways? It’s not that big of a deal.

“How does a 5 year plan sound?” Stiles grins before whipping out some pen and paper from his backpack. 

I groan a little at how good the freshly prepared cappuccino tastes. The coffee shop is relatively empty, with just two other people minding their own business and one careless barista who’s probably counting  down the minutes until he can close up. Which means I can sit in peace and quiet and enjoy my book.

I take out my worn copy of The Godfather and dig into it, reality around me seizing to exist for a few hours.

“A car came screeching up the block and to a halt in front of the candy store. It stopped so abruptly that the tires screamed and before it stopped, almost, a man came hurtling out of the drivers seat, moving so fast that everybody was paralysed. That man was Sonny Corleone.”

I smirk a little, already knowing what’s going to come next. This is, after all, my favourite part. 

“Six years later and you’re still reading that book.” A familiar voice, laced with surprise and happiness interrupts me. Startled, I glance up from my book and straight into the deep blue eyes of a man I never thought I’d get to see again. 

It takes my brain a few seconds to process what’s happening, and when it finally catches up with reality a huge smile breaks out across my face. 

I let go of the book and jump from my seat to pull the sourwolf into a bear hug. 

His arms wrap around my waist and hold me like his life depends on it, which sends my heart off into a frenzy. The last time me and him were like this we were saying goodbye. 

“Promise you’ll visit me?” I ask as I reluctantly let go of Derek. The beautiful man isn’t his usual careless and devoid of emotion self. No, he looks like he’s almost sad. 

“I don’t know if I can promise that, but we’ll keep in touch. Now go and join some sorority and enjoy yourself.” He smiles at me, that very rare full-teeth smile that I've grown to love. 

I pull him in for our last hug. I have to bite my lip to stop myself from crying. I really will miss him. 

I’m speechless as I look over the man now sitting down in the chair opposite me. He’s definitely changed since the last time I seen him. His clean-shaved face is now covered with a thick beard, his hair is grown out and not as styled as it used to be, he isn’t sporting a black shirt and leather jacket anymore. He’s dressed casually yet sporty given his nature. But his eyes have changed the most. They’re aged, like fine whiskey, tainted with the horrors he’s lived through, but yet they still hold that undeniable softness. He’s perfect. I love him.

“Take a seat, we haven’t spoken in a long time. How was uni?” He asks, his voice sending a shiver up my spine. It takes everything in me to not jump all over him right then and there. But I sit back down, take a few steadying breaths and let the smile appear. 

“It was alright, I can officially work as a psychologist. How has Beacon Hills been? I can’t deny missing this place and it’s people like crazy.” I sip my coffee and bask in the presence of my childhood crush, my one love. My soulmate. 

“Same old, I bet Scott and Stiles kept you updated. Though you’ve changed a lot, you’re still reading the same books I see.” Derek grins and takes a drink of his coffee, five bucks that it’s cappuccino. His favourite. 

“What can I say, I really haven’t changed much. Can you still quote the book like the back of your hand?” I grin at him. I’ve imagined this moment countless times, over and over, different scenarios and all. But this one never crossed my mind.

Derek clears his throat a little, purposefully dramatic. “She emptied her mind of all thoughts of herself, of her children, of all anger, of all rebellion, of all questions. Then with a profound and deeply willed desire to believe, to be heard, as she had done every day since the murder or Carlo Rizzi, she said the necessary prayers for the soul of Michael Corleone.”

A feeling of deep admiration and affection washes over me, so strong it almost leaves me breathless. I forgot how much in love with this man I once was. Hoe much I still love him with every piece of me.

“Is Sonny still your favourite?”  Derek asks, a slight teasing tone in his voice. 

I snort a little and retaliate. “Are you still a mythical creature?”

He mumbles a touche before looking back at me. “It’s seriously great to see you (Y/N). I’ve missed you.” 

A thought crosses my mind. This is a total 180 turn from the Derek I last seen. He would do anything in his power so the two of us wouldn’t be alone. He would be guarded and never speak to me for a prolonged amount of time. Now that I look back at it, maybe he was aware of my feelings towards him. And maybe he didn’t reciprocate them due to the illegal age gap.

“I’ve missed you too Der. More than I can even explain.” I reach across the table and grab a hold of his hand. He intertwines our fingers and a cage of butterflies erupts in my stomach. My heart quickens, and I kick myself for being so careless around a werewolf. 

Derek chuckles a little and brushes his thumb over my knuckles, as if trying to evoke another similar reaction from me, which he manages quite successfully. 

“I see not much has changed after all. Still got your 5 year plan?” He smirks, not really teasing just bringing up old memories. 

I feel a blush creep up my neck as I realise that he’s known all these years. And all theses years, nothing from my 5 year plan has happened. No cinema trip, no pumpkin carving for Halloween, no kiss under the mistletoe for Christmas. Then again, he always thought I was too young. I didn’t.

“First of all, it was Stiles’s idea. And secondly, it was pointless by the looks of it.” I laugh a little, but something inside of me shuts off. The man in front of me had been my love since I first laid eyes on him picking up Erica Reyes from school. He’s been the one picking me up from the ground when Allison died, when I felt like disappearing because I thought nobody cared, when Scott almost died. And it hurts that I haven’t spent the last six years with him. It hurts that I couldn’t fall asleep with my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. It hurts that I haven’t felt his lips on mine, not heard him moan my name. It hurts.

Derek tightens his grip on my hand. “It wasn’t all for nothing. We’re both here now, older and probably not much more mature, but it has to count for something. You and me here, together.” He absentmindedly traces circles on my knuckles as he speaks his mind, finally admitting what I’ve wanted to hear for as long as I can remember.

“I really have missed you Derek. But what’s to come next?” I question the god-send in front of me. 

Indeed, what could life be like if Derek and I would end up together? His life is hectic, with death looming at every bend and corner, whilst mines is bland and boring. Would we be good together? Would we get along? Who’d be the bottom? Would he let me adopt a dog? But who am I kidding. Derek and I would be perfectly imperfect.

“Dinner at mines tomorrow night? I’ll cook some pasta, your favourite.” Derek smiles fondly, as if he were finally content with his life. I can’t deny that I am. I am truly happy and not miserable. 

I bite my lip in contemplation, faking having to think about it.

“Well, I guess I could free my incredibly busy schedule for you.” I grin.

The smile that lights up Derek’s face sets off another cage or rampant butterflies, yet this time I don’t bother scolding myself. He knows how I feel, I know how he feels. And though my 5 year plan hasn’t really gone as I planned it to, I still got my desired happy ending. Derek and I in a cafe, in our own little loved-up bubble, discussing our separate past and shared future.