#i was goin thru my feels last night

[memvi]

.

[what-even-is-sleep]

Trying to get ahead of an unsustainability cycle that might be starting up this week,,, (I start work).

[fulloflovebees]

I just don't think my brain needed another thing to think about

[munsster]

hey! if ur requests are open could you do a little smth about billy taking care of drunk!reader ??

feel free to ignore if you don’t want to :)

designated loverboy

A/N: i just think… dd billy hargrove x passenger princess gif creds: @suledins

Pairings: Billy Hargrove x GN!Drunk!Reader

Summary: Billy makes sure you know how pretty you are, even when you’re drunk. 1.3k words

Warnings: sloppy drunkenness, fluff, established relationship, reader is clingy/touchy, pet names (baby, honey)

Just last year, Billy had been discharged from the hospital. He didn’t recognize the place he’d gone to school, the house he’d been living in, the body he’d grown into. He felt foreign in a place he’d finally gotten used to calling home.

But then he met you, and it was like you were the only other person speaking his language. He’d never understood a breath of fresh air until he reached your surface. The first time you touched him—his right bicep, he can still feel your fingers there if he closes his eyes—it took a week for his heart to settle down.

Now you’re clinging to him for dear life because you can’t say no to free shots. He can tell he’s going to have to help you to the car when you get this glossy look in your eye. You’re the sloppiest drunk he’s ever met, and it makes him want to stay sober for you.

Billy shovels you into the passenger seat just as the fattest tears come rolling down your cheeks. He clicks your seatbelt into place while your fingers sift through the soft curls fallen over his forehead. Your tears slip down your neck, but he’s trying to catch them with the pad of his thumb.

“What’s wrong, honey?” he coos, cradling your wrist and holding his knuckle to your cheekbone.

“Billy, I don’t ever want you to get rid of your fringe.” You fluff the hair at his brow and pinch the really tight curl by his temple. He cracks a smile. “I just love your fringe, it’s like… your special flair, Billy. Fringe. Fringe flair. Fringe flair… Oh my g—I’m so… good!”

You giggle, only interrupted by a hiccup as Billy smooths his big palms over your damp cheeks.

���You are so good, baby”—and kisses the fingers you shove against his lips—“I’m goin’ to my seat now, alright?”

You think about it for a second and then nod.

“Yes, baby! Just don’t go away for too long, baby!”

He chuckles, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Promise,” and hooks his pinkie around yours. You giggle.

“Promise, baby!”

He flashes his nice teeth and sets his hand on the top edge of your car door.

“Watch your toes.”

You shuffle your feet inward across the floor mat and he watches your smile twinkle up at him just before he shuts the door. When he slips into his seat. you pout at him.

“Was I gone for too long?”

You nod, so he leans over and kisses you.

“All better!”

You cackle and then hiccup against his shoulder as he turns the key and the car grumbles to a start. You stare at the radio, doe-eyed and curious as he pulls away from the curb.

“Wanna play somethin’?”

You nod and weakly reach out to press every button until his tape comes thru the stereo. You sigh and watch him tap the steering wheel along to the song.

Just one more night

And I’m coming off this long and winding road

You smile. “Like us.”

He glances over. “What’s that?”

You point to the stereo and chirp, “That’s what we’re doing, too.”

And you hum softly to the tune:

I’m on my way-ay-ey

Home sweet home

He chuckles and reaches for your hand.

“We are, aren’t we?”

You hold the back of his hand to your mouth and press a sloppy kiss to his knuckles. And, Jesus, when he catches a glimpse of you between the streetlights, you bat your lashes at him and pinch the skin between your teeth. He can’t keep his eyes on the road as he shifts his thigh.

“You’re really warm,” you say.

He looks straight ahead, squeezing your hand.

“Can’t help it. You’re too pretty.”

You set your intertwined hands on the center console and gape at him. He looks back and suddenly you’re frowning again.

“Baby—”

“You think I’m pretty? Really?”

He grins. “Come on…”

Billy only lets your hand go to bring his thumb to your cheek and swipe away the sudden and thick tears rolling down your cheeks. One smacks against the seat, and he can’t help but chuckle. “Baby, please!”

You sniffle, pressing your sleeve to your runny nose. “‘S not funny.”

Stifling a laugh, he chokes, “No, ‘course, honey, I’m not laughin’ at you. Nothin’s funny, that’s not what’s so funny, okay?”

He thinks you might not forgive him this time, but you nod sweetly and whisper, “Am I still pretty, you think?”

Now he’s the one frowning. A little, but it breaks his heart you think a couple of tears will scare him off. Even when you love him past the scars.

“Always, baby, come on, you’re always so pretty.”

It rolls around in your head like a single die, edges rattling against all the hard bone. And the number you land on:

“Even if I had lots of boogers and it just… never stopped?”

“Well…” Oh, and he really should’ve known how serious you’d take it when you slump into your seat. “No! No, that wouldn’t change anything, baby, shouldn’t’ve said it. All the boogers in the world couldn’t put me off’a you, alright?”

Your sad, wet face turns to him. “Mean it?”

He nods. And cracks a smile at how serious you sound. At how genuinely he feels it rotting away so sweetly at his bones.

“Of course, I mean it.”

You grab his hand again, this time shoving it’s warmth against your cheek, and he’s flicking between you and the road. But you just rub the back of his hand as he’s turning onto your street.

“That girl tonight… she was so nice,” you coo, “never met anyone so nice, and she even offered me water and sat with me on the couch. She was so, so nice.”

Billy remembers seeing her next to you. He remebers trying to remember where he’d seen her before. From across the room, he watched you laugh at her joke and felt warmth spread through his taut chest. Loosened him up as he realized you’re the only person he’d happily stay sober for.

“Sounds like I’ve got competition—”

It’s silly of him to say, because he knows you’d start a war before letting him think he’s replaceable in any capacity. But it’s a nice reminder that he’s worth a war. And he likes the sound of your voice.

“NO, BILLY! No! You’re nice, too, don’t worry! But you’re nice ‘cause you love me, and she was a stranger who was nice and I don’t think she loves me. But you do, and that’s why you’re so nice! And you’re nice looking, too!”

He nods like he’s getting the mental picture, slotting the puzzle pieces into places they don’t fit. “Ohh, okay.”

The engine ticks once he brings the car to a stop. He makes sure to hustle when he opens your door and reaches for your seat belt buckle. He doesn’t expect you to ragdoll against him, but he catches you before he teeters all the way backwards.

“Really, you are nice,” you whisper.

“Thank you, baby.”

“Yeah, baby! Can we cuddle about it??”

He shuts your door behind you and hooks his arm around your back tightly so he can be your center of gravity.

“Definitely. Did you wanna wait ‘til we’re inside, or just cuddle out here—”

“No, no, no, no—“

“Are you sure? It’s the perfect temperature out here,” he teases.

“Billy, please no, no, inside, please.”

“But the grass is nice!”

“Billy!!! Please, no grass!!” you whine, wrapping your fingers around his wrist and attempting to drag him towards your door. He pretends to fall weak to your incredible strength.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! I’m sure. No grass!”

“Alright, I hear ya. No grass,” Billy says, pulling you back against his side and kissing your temple.

“Promise?” you huff.

“Promise.”

masterlist

[hsmtmts-arrows]

okay SO basically, i was kinda half-asleep and half dreaming, yk??? like the thoughts just Come to u. it was like that

( /// TW TRANSPHOBIC LILY BECAUSE SHE SUCKS . ALSO SOME INTERNALIZED TRANSPHOBIA BC RICKY'S GOIN THRU IT // )

(i'd put it under a read more but. it's an ask)

so basically ricky was trans and had already told gina and a few of the wildcats, and just like in s2 canon he stays with lily for a while and. yk how ricky is abt to go w lily when he finds his harness and realizes she stole it and tried to ruin the show?

yeah, well.

when he does, she gets way way more defensive than in canon, and rebutts with a "well, you didn't tell me you're a girl so we can call it even."

ricky's heart drops. soul shatters. he feels hot and cold at once. he can only respond with a feeble, "what?" that's weak even to his own ears.

"i mean, come on, richie... what's even your real name?" her eyes light up. "rachel? rose? r—"

"stop." he whispers, and she rolls her eyes. "how did you—"

"i found out weeks ago." she tells him with a flippant wave of the hand, and he waits, but she doesn't elaborate. "i mean, how long are you planning to keep up this... delusion? you know it can't last forever, richie, or whoever you really are. do the wildcats even know?"

"yes." he says, trying to bring up anything of defiance even though his heart is seizing and catching. "and they—they support me no matter—"

"do they really see you like that, richie?" she's suddenly sympathetic, and he knows she means it like a balm, but it feels like acid. "i mean, they're obviously just doing it to humour you."

"you don't know that." it can't be true.

"nobody sane would endorse people like you."

i have to go. i have to go. i have to go. ihavetogoihavetogo i have to go i have t o go i h av e to leaveleaveleaveleaveleave—

and then it cuts to ricky and gina, during one of those nights where ricky sneaks into gina's room, and they're cuddled up together in her bed. and she's saying something, giggling, but he's barely there. his binder feels too tight and he's probably had it on too long but he doesn't care. every time someone sees him, they'll assume he's cis, and he can use that against lily's words that still feel like poison, even months later.

"hey, ricky? ricky?" gina waves a hand in front of his face and he startles. she blinks in surprise. "oh. didn't mean to scare you."

"wasn't scared." he replies in a voice a few octaves high. (you didn't tell me you were a girl.) he makes his voice a little lower. "sorry, zoned out there for a second, gi. fire away." he tries for a smile.

gina sits up, frowning, concern over every inch of her features. "ricky? are you okay?"

what's even your real name?

"it's nothing." he says. his chest is too tight. how long has he had his binder? how long is he going to keep pretending? fuck. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck—

"ricky, i can tell something's bothering you." she grabs one of his hands and rubs circles into the knuckle. "i want to help."

her clock ticks. ticks. ticks.

he sighs and gina, after a second, lays back down where she was.

"you know how i was... with lily? i wasn't dating her," he adds quickly, noticing the crease between her brows. "but like, at the beginning of camp, i was going to go skiing with her, remember?"

"yeah." gina says, visibly unsure of where this is going.

"yeah... well... i found my harness. my beast harness." gina's eyes go wide and he can see her basically plotting murder right here and there. "and when i confronted her about it, she—she started... saying some things?" his voice wobbles dangerously and gina turns more to look at him, eyes openly worried.

"what things?" she says, with a dangerous edge to her voice.

he tries to calm his breathing. it's not working. he's feeling that tight feeling again. usually it goes away when he's with gina, or just with the wildcats, but ever since lily said those things, they've been working less and less.

"she said you guys were just... were just...."

"just what? ricky?"

"just humouring... me." he tries to take in a breath but it comes out as a sob. gina straightens, alarmed. "humouring that i'm—i'm a boy."

"oh, ricky." gina sits up and he does too, and she wraps her arms around him and he cries and cries and cries. "i'm going to kill that bitch—"

"because i'm not, am i?!"

"no, ricky, you are. lily's a deceitful prick who manipulated you." gina lets go to look him in the eyes. "you are richard bowen. you're a boy and always will be—so long as you identify as one, of course." gina hurries to add (and he remembers glimpsing her on a trans-positive subreddit the other day under the question, how do i support my trans boyfriend????? she'd closed it when he came over, but he saw it, and his heart sang.) "and i promise none of us are 'humouring' you. okay?"

that's all i remember JASHJSHJHJSJHASHJSJ

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT WHY WERE YOU EVEN PANICKING ABOUT IT BEING A LONG ASK FUCK LILY BTW BUT OHHHHHHH RINA RINA RINA ILY RINA GINA IS THE ALLY OF ALL TIME I LOVE HER I LOVE TRANS!RICKY HE DESERVES THE WORLD OH MY GOD

[noriaki-kak]

Another question 👀 (if that’s ok I don’t wanna bother you) but would you be willing to post any writing pieces you made of the Braithen kids,,,,it’s ok if u can’t !! It’s totally fine!!

Here’s some paw prints of my dog 🐾 as compensation idk,,,

OOH! Doggy... thank u for this offering! I wish I had more writing to share, but tbh I have a lot less written abt the Braithen kids than I'd like. Wrangling my ability to write is always a whole thing so a lot of stuff I do have is unfinished or so context dependent it's hard to tell what's goin on.

I do have one thing I can share though! I waffled on posting it because it takes place towards the latter half of Penelope's story and a LOT happens that I haven't covered yet. But I wanted to share it so I'll try and give a bit of context under the cut before the actual Thing itself!

SO, I think @dapper-comedy has mentioned some of this but just to be sure. After Leo is cursed and his father dies, the kingdom is left without a ruler. Penelope steps up and makes a bid for the crown, successfully taking the throne with support from the church and Leo's mother.

However, the decision to make this move wasn't entirely made by herself. An angel appears before her and basically tells her she's been chosen by god and given a sacred mission to save Braithen from demonic influence. He tells her that Leo is a lost cause and the only way to free him from his pain is to end him.

He's absolutely selling her a load of bullshit, making stuff up wholesale, manipulating her for his own agenda. He also goes a lot softer on the sell when they first meet, encouraging her to take the crown, hiding the more intense stuff (i.e. "saving" Leo), and kind of telling her everything she's ever wanted to hear.

She hated her father, but she also felt intense guilt near constantly for not being the model daughter she was supposed to be. Her desire for more out of life makes her feel like she's doing something wrong.

So this angel showing up, telling her god is real and approves of her, that she should grasp power and use it to make meaningful change, that she's allowed to want more out of life than being a good wife. It gets to her. Especially being in a vulnerable state after her confrontation with Leo, seeking meaning and concrete direction.

Over the years he acts as her "guardian" angel, appearing around her and offering counsel. He starts to let the act slip as time wears on and Penelope finds herself too deep in and too weary to take note or care.

This scene is one of the worst moments of Penelope's life. I believe Thea has spoken before about how Caspian tried to end things in a church after his demonic heritage is revealed to him, before his dad swoops in and takes him to live in hell instead.

This is the aftermath of that, with Penelope not knowing where Caspian is aside from the note he left behind. (Sorry girl, going through my half finished writing and so much of it is Penelope rlly goin thru it. Promise I'll write you into some kinder scenes soon queen.) So! Without further ado.

Penelope bursts through the doors of the church for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. She stumbles, rain soaked and bedraggled, down the aisle and collapses to the ground right before the last row of pews.

It wouldn’t be long before news spread. She had acted as was her way when she found the note, swallowing her feelings and drowning herself in practicality. Simple orders to find him had already been passed to any guard stationed in the area.

All night she searched, scouring every inch of the church inside and out. At first the lack of a body had given her a torturous hope, but as the horizon begins to faintly glow, the glorious light rips it from her.

She had to find him, she could find him. She would apologize for not being there. For closing herself off with Giselle’s passing, with the duties of the crown, with Leo’s sin.

Her fingers are numb as she gropes at her pocket, she can’t bring herself to actually reach inside, to touch the paper. The feel of the crumpled note through the damp fabric of her dress forces her to remain in reality, the words flooding her mind.

She would tell him it wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t a demon. He wasn’t, he could never be. She was at fault, all of this, everything… She would tell him, she would tell him-

She would find him somewhere crying. And he would wipe his tears when he saw her and smile sheepishly and pretend his eyes weren’t red. 

And she would pretend the same, or no…

She would cry and hug him, she could put off her duties tomorrow, they could have lunch. Maybe they could go out and pick blackberries, and the taste would remind them of Giselle. She would talk to him about her.

She would find him, she would, someone would. They would bring him to her, there wasn’t a body, that means he must, he must-

“What sort of wretched way must he have left this earth to not even leave a body? Perhaps his note speaks true, perhaps his corpse fell to ash in this holy place.” He speaks with a well practiced gentle pity. It’s not as if she ever feels his presence truly leave, but he had been utterly silent up to this point, and hearing him makes her freeze.

His words gall her, a disgusting fury wrenches at her bones.

“Please...” She wants to command him to be silent but her voice is hoarse and feeble. Shaky exhaustion ruins her strength, her pride. She gasps for air and tries again.

“Please do not speak of what you do not know.” It’s nothing, her words are paper thin. In this moment she is ruler of nothing, fallen to the floor. Frail and idiotic, and beholden to everything she hates.

“Does it not ease the pain? If he was indeed stained by the demonic, you’ve been spared from saving him.” She cannot see him, but she feels him close. “He was a good man, to rid the world of another demon for you.”

White hot fury flashes in her, she crosses her arms and grips at her shoulders, clawing at herself. She crumples forward, fighting the rage, the tears. She presses her forehead against the stone floor, her face contorted in a mask of agony.

The first dry sob wracks her body, ugly and stifled. Her throat is so tight, she sounds like an animal in pain.

“T-Take me. Send me to hell, please.” It is unlike her, she pleads like a child, honest in a way she hasn’t been in years.

“If everyone I love will be taken this way, send me too.” She begs foolishly, eyes screwed shut. Any pain would be better than this, an eternity burning would mercifully kill her mind.

“And what of Leonidas?” The name makes her grit her teeth and claw deeper into her shoulders.

“You would leave him in this world alone?” She lifts her head and he’s before her now. Through blurry vision she’s certain he looks more and more sickly every day.

She lurches forward and grips his arm with a desperate strength, digging into his flesh. He doesn’t flinch.

“Help me find Caspian, guide me to him.” She croaks out. A nausea rises in her, she desperately redirects the conversation. She’s so tired of him, she knows he has answers. Why can’t he just help like he used to-

“I swear to God I speak the truth when I say your friend no longer resides in this world.” His face is blank, and yet she knows he isn’t lying. This isn’t usually how he twists his words, this is a blunt hammer.

Something freezes in her, her eyes are bugged and glassy as she looks at her surroundings, as if suddenly lost. It’s like something is broken. She releases his arm and her hands fall limply to her sides. She wishes the church would collapse on top of her.

“Leave me.” There’s barely enough air in her sore lungs to form the words. “Leave me now, or kill me.”

There’s no response, when she blinks he is gone.

She is drenched in the silence, and her eyes search the cavernous cathedral from where she sits in a solitary delirium. The early morning glow alights upon the stained glass windows, and filters through warmly.

The glass eyes of the depicted figures bore into her, silent judges in her every failure and transgression. She fumbles in her pocket and pulls out the damp crumpled note. She doesn’t dare to unfurl it, or read it again, instead she presses it firm against her heart.

On the left she thinks.

Her far away eyes cast themselves upwards towards the vaulted ceilings, this prison she was born into, the prison she chose. Or did she really choose? No, this is her fault, she…

She thinks about the last time she saw Caspian, the empty look in his eyes that she ran from, and the dam breaks. 

It is an ugly and angry sound that rips through her, it would be generous to call it a sob. The tears run hot from her eyes as she curls in on herself.

The thoughts she desperately locks away spill forth in a deluge. What was the point of any of it? What has the false strength she built herself been for? What is the power she’s grasped for if she can’t use it to protect the ones she holds dearest… held dearest.

She is alone, and a hideous selfish fury washes over her. A desperate childish rage at Caspian for leaving her here alone. The feeling only fuels her self-castigation, he apologized so profusely in his note, so convinced he had done some wrong- 

She had always been the problem, not him. Sweet Caspian, kind sweet Caspian, heart so full and trusting. She can’t imagine life without him by her side, how was she supposed to…?

Memories of him pour over her. The frozen grief she stifled over Giselle’s death joins, and her rage breaks as warm thoughts of Leo intermingle. Every moment is like a new knife, loss, and loss, and loss, after loss.

How much more could she stand to lose? How much more can she fail those around her?

She crumples like the note in her hand as her grip grows tighter, and her mind goes blank with despair. Her weak sobs sound in the quiet cathedral, echoing off the intricate stonework. She cries in a way she hasn’t in years, snot pouring from her nose, body hunched and trembling. 

Her heart breaks, for the third and final time. So she mourns loudly, knowing that once the sun is risen, she will have nothing left to give.

[ventismacchiato]

okay so i’m lowk fw this guy and ima call him D (or Dinuel) and yes u can post it just in case someone wants to say something in the comments too because i don’t know how to feel right now

anyway D and me were on the phone last night (till basically today) and he was bored as fuck so he decided to bother his ex (with my permission bc im nosy too)

mind u we were matching statuses and profile pictures too soooo his ex wanted to know who i was and what my relationship with D is.

He said I’m just a friend (which I called him one too but we both know better. Let’s be fr we flirted all the time.) and like he told her a fake name too (which was Emmi) because she knew that she can ask my bsf for my name since they’re friends too.

and ngl that bitch brought up my profile into a server she moderates and said “chat is this the other half” like nigga since u wanna know if i’m the other half so bad i might as well be it right?

Ok well after that she was still hesitant because idk for what but she was and she also had a man lowk as well but D pressured her into making a decision of staying with her man or getting back with him, and she said give her a day to decide yes or no.

Boom ok its been a day and I was chillin with Dinuel otp and TELL ME WHY SHE TEXTED HIM YES.

AND THAT THEY’RE IN EACH OTHER BIO’S NOW.

LITERALLY THE MORNING AFTER I TOLD HIM THE MOST HEARTFELT SHIT AND THE MOST TOE-CURLING GRIPPING THE SHEETS EMBARRASSING PIECES OF INFORMATION DURING THE DAYS WE’VE BEEN TALKING.

NOT TO MENTION MY FRIEND WANNA BE LAUGHING ABOUT THAT SHIT TOO TB “thats crazy how Dinuel wants his ex back lmao” girl shut ur dumbass up u cried bc ur bf changed his tone over text.

Not to mention he said he got tired of telling the truth to u over and over again since ur insecure ass can’t handle having a bf that looks like he was sculpted by god himself because u were born looking like that one big white sailor monster from ghost busters.

OH MY GOD MY JAW ELONGATED. 😭 THIS D DUDE SUCKS ASS BRO. always a red flag when they wanna continue talking to their ex…then a little weird he called you a friend in front of his ex when u guys were clearly talking that’s so shitty of him

EVEN SHITTIER THAT HE ASKED IF HIS EX WANTED HIM BACK??? they both suck they deserve each other u can do better dw babe ☹️ sorry that u literally told him sm heartfelt shit and he STILL crawled back to his ex that sucks

also ur friend sucks :( so mean to laugh at ur friend goin thru smth drop her ass !!

[purebakuluv]

hello!! i hope this crosses the right people again</3 this is the third time i post this</33 but anyways, i made this header so hopefully this shows my dedication for this series:’) do not hesitate to leave any feedback, reblogs/comments are welcomed:)

warning // implied intimacy though not specified, swearing, our sweet green haired boy has been goin thru it, more characters!!

part 4 of part 1, 2, 3

for the first time in her life, the world seemed.. peaceful. no waking up in the middle of the night, hurriedly putting her hero costume, and abandoning her apartment. her hand trailed to the side next to her but found no one, quickly, she covered herself with the thick sheet and stood up from the bed. frantically looking around for any signs until she heard the bedroom door open.

“you’re doing that thing i hate, hocus-pocus. the one where you’re all bug eyed with that big sad pout.”

a breathy sigh escaped her lips and a smile soon taking its place. she looked at him, something about him being right here.. it wasn’t wrong. but deep down she knew it wasn’t right either.

“i thought you were go-ne, i-i tri-tried…” her voice began to brittle, the pain was still there within her. she still dreamt about it even with him right next to her, arms around each other. she knew this wasn’t going to last but she was going to try.

the girl felt arms wrap around her, the holder exhaled deeply. “loser,” the gruff voice started, the very one she grew accustomed and loved. “i’m right here.”

for how long? she thought. how long am i going to have this?

“cmon get up, i made us breakfast and it’s probably already cold because of your dumbass.” she scoffed while the other smirked, picking her up and placing her over his shoulder.

“wait! kats, i’m naked! let me get dressed!”

“no can do, breakfast is gettin’ cold.”

“you son of a - PUT ME DOWN!”

izuku midoriya is not a quitter. more so if it came to y/n, that word was nonexistent. so when he was standing right outside where y/n took all the residents and created her own world, something began to creep its way into his brain, something he was all too familiar with.

doubt.

could he really do it alone?

he couldn’t get that this was all his fault in the first place out of his head. maybe if he was a bit faster, maybe if he ignored the blond’s demands.. he still would’ve been here and none of this would have even happened. the trio would’ve been taking care of other world problems, hell, midoriya would’ve suffered more of bakugo’s bullying but all would’ve been worth it because of her. she made all tolerable.

before he took a step in, a hard hand placed on his shoulder to stop him. the green haired male swiftly jumped back and faced the other in a fighting stance.

“midoriya? chill man! i should’ve probably said something when i did that- sorry.” the voice let out a chuckle.

realization hit midoriya, confused and with large eyes he slowly stood normally. “kirishima? what are you doing here?!”

“i am here too.”

the freckled boy let out a shrill, his eyes landing on a certain half haired male. “todoroki?!”

“deku,” the crimson haired male began, shifting his vision to the other, he saw how defeated he was. the bag under his eyes was similar to his. “i heard about y/n.. i was angry at first when the news came out that she brought him back but when i heard ochaco and some of the others bad mouth her- i couldn’t just sit there- she’s one of us, man! she needs us and we’re doing nothing but talk down on her!” kirishima looked up towards the sky, this part of town was almost never lit. “i want to help her as much as she helped me when we were students in UA, the amount of times when i felt i was useless, she was right there to throw those thoughts away. i-i want to help her, midoriya…”

“since we’re sharing our feelings here, i might as well share this.”

the two males shift their attention to the peppermint boy, rubbing the back of his neck, he sighed.

“i loved y/n way before she and bakugo became exclusive, even way before U.A,” he knitted his eyebrows together, his own gaze finding interest with the grass below him. “believe it or not, i even confessed to her.”

inside of U.A. on campus gym

the sound of giggling rang in young todoroki’s ears, a sound that he could almost mistakenly confuse with those of an angel.

“god, i love going against you, sho! you never fail to give me a good fair fight.” “isn’t really fair when you manipulate my brain to see a bunch of endeavors.” y/n stifled a laugh while todoroki sulked. “even worse when they try to hug me.” with that the young girl exploded with laughter to which the boy smiled and stared at her in awe.

“it’s a shame bakugo got to you first.”

now silence filled the air.

“sho don’t-“

“i have to get this off my chest, y/n.” the two toned boy sighed, reaching for her hand to which she allowed. this was her best friend after all, she knew he wouldn’t overstep his boundaries unless she agreed.

“i hope he treats you as you deserve to be treated because trust me when i say, i won’t hesitate to make you mine when he lets his guard down.”

but of course, bakugo never did.

and of course word got back to the ash blond as that irrelevant nosey kid from class 1-b taunted the explosive boy that his hocus pocus girlfriend was now the main goal of that icy hot bastard. bakugo thought this could go in two ways, he could either beat that half and half bastard into a pulp or do something that could benefit both.

he was leaning towards the first option but once the image of y/n appeared in his head, he backtracked.

…

“todoroki, what’re you saying? kacchan?…”

“bakugo and i made a deal.”

“what kind of deal, man?”

heterochromatic eyes stared at both males in front of him, “if bakugo was ever to be out of the picture, i’d have to keep her safe from harming herself and others but also..”

“also?”

“i could finally pursue her.”

[cellsshapedlikestars]

So I'm not creative to think of prompts on my own but I saw an underated prompt thing on tumblr and see if you'd like to take a crack at it:

Music Student Playing Violin Each Night On the Quad X Fellow Student Who's Goin Thru It Right Now But the music student picks a different alcove/corner each time, and the fellow student can never figure out where the music is coming from

Student Skipping Class to Watch Avatar: The Last Airbender On Their Laptop In the Cafeteria X Student Who Stopped To Sit At The Table Behind Them and Watch Along

Puts Things Into The Microwave Irresponsibly" X "Lives Across The Hall From The Person Who Puts Things Into The Microwave Irresponsibly" "Can you tell me in the future when you're about to use the microwave so I'm not in the shower when the fire alarm inevitably goes off"

Take your pick or do them all if you're feeling inspired, I thought I'd give options so you don't feel like you have to force inspiration. But now reading them I wanna see it all so the struggle of not being creative enough to write my own and having to poke other authors... Annnnyyywayyyyyssss, I know you write when stressed and as much as I've been loving the updates, I hope things are better now! Summer has begun so hopefully you get a bit a of a breather at least

oooh boy, I'm trying to bust through some of my writing woes by working on some prompts! That's genuinely why I love doing these - they're light and fun and there's no pressure.

Thank you for sending these! They were super fun, but I had to choose one, so I chose: Puts Things Into The Microwave Irresponsibly" X "Lives Across The Hall From The Person Who Puts Things Into The Microwave Irresponsibly"

read on ao3 here:

ephemera, chapter 32

.

Jon stands in the quad and stares at the students still filing out of the dorm building, fire engines idling in front, their lights flashing. Luckily it's the middle of the day, so most students are in class, but there's still quite a few people standing around watching.

“How long is this going to take?”

Jon turns to look to the right and slightly behind him, to a girl in a bathrobe, her wet hair gathered over and soaking one shoulder.

“Hopefully not as long as last time,” he answers when he realizes there's no one with her, and so she must be talking to him.

Except, no, she seems to startle, and when she looks at him, he realizes she was talking to herself. Still, though, she gives him a tentative smile and steps forward, and he realizes her feet are bare.

“You must be freezing,” he says, trying to ignore the way her robe gaps a bit when she crosses her arms over her chest. It's too thin for the early spring weather, and she's pretty clearly wearing nothing under it.

“I panicked and ran out without thinking,” she admits, a reddish tint to her cheeks as she looks down at her state of dress. Jon unzips and pulls off his sweatshirt and hands it to her, though it's only when she wrinkles her nose ever so slightly that he realizes he's been wearing that sweatshirt since yesterday afternoon and it probably smells a bit musty. Still, though, she pulls it on over her robe, so she must really have been cold.

“I heard someone lit a microwave on fire,” she says after a few moments of silence, and Jon tries to keep his face neutral.

“Oh?”

“What kind of moron lights a microwave on fire?” she whines. “I don't even know how you'd do that!”

“Aluminum foil,” he answers, and when she looks at him, he backtracks and says, “or, that's what I've heard. You know, metal in microwaves?”

“Right,” she nods. “I didn't realize that would cause an actual fire.”

“Apparently.”

“What floor are you on?” she asks after another few minutes of silence. He's getting the picture she isn't someone who likes silences, always needs to fill them up. Not that he minds – he's always preferred people who can do all the talking for him. As proven so far in this interaction, he's not the best with social stuff.

“Four.”

“Three,” she responsds, and gives him another smile. Then it falls and she says, “wait, I think the fire came from the fourth floor.”

“Did it?” he asks, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels, unable to look at her. He keeps his eyes fixed on the building, where the firemen are currently doing a sweep of the whole thing before they're allowed to go back inside.

“Makes sense,” she says, a teasing tone to her voice now. “Obviously some idiot boy started the fire.”

The floors are single-gendered and alternating, though there have been discussions about changing that recently to be more inclusive, but for now it remains.

“You aren't going to argue?” she asks, a smile still on her lips as she looks up at him.

“Argue about what? We're pretty stupid up on four.”

“Stupid enough to start three fires in the last month,” she says, no longer teasing. She just sounds annoyed.

“You don't know they were all the same person,” he argues. “This one was a microwave fire, the other two were trash can fires. Different Mos. Two different people.”

“How do you know that?”

“Oh,” he looks around the quad, but doesn't see Sam. “One of my best friends is an RA, he told me how the other two started when they happened.”

“Can he find out who set this one? I'd love to give them a piece of my mind,” she grumbles, looking down at her soaking wet hair.

“I'm sure it was just a mistake,” he protests, hands still shoved deep into his pockets, and he tries not to fidget too much.

“A mistake?” she scoffs. “How does one mistakenly put so much aluminum foil into the microwave that it causes a full on fire?”

“You know, if they were really tired,” he says, still staring at the building and not looking at her. “Like if they just got back from a morning calculus lecture after working a night shift and not getting any sleep and all they wanted was late breakfast but they were so tired, they forgot to take the foil off their leftovers and then they left the room for just a second to pee...” he trails off when he realizes she's staring at him. “Hypothetically.”

“Right,” she says, narrowing her eyes at him. “So, who do you think it was?”

“What?”

She keeps her suspicious eyes on him. “Well, hypothetically, the firestarter should be around, right? They would have had to evacuate with us.” She gestures at the quad, the students standing around and waiting to be let back in.

“Maybe he ran,” Jon shrugs, still not quite able to meet her eyes. “I'm sure he's really fucking embarrassed.”

She makes a humming noise and says, “so he's a coward, too?”

Jon's shoulders bunch up around his ears in a shrug.

“I'll just have to keep my eye out for hypothetical calculus students,” she says.

“Physics,” he corrects. “Calculus is a pre req class.”

She lets out a burst of laughter when he realizes what he's admitted. “Are you sure you're a physics major?” she giggles. “Aren't they supposed to be really smart?”

He can feel his face getting hot and he turns back towards the building. “You would think,” he mutters, which only makes her laugh more, and she puts a hand over her mouth to stifle it.

It's then that a firefighter announces they're alright to enter the building again, and Jon takes the opportunity, hurrying back towards the front entrance so he doesn't put his foot even deeper in his mouth and embarrass himself any further.

It doesn't work, because she catches up to him at the elevator. He should've taken the stairs.

“I'm Sansa, by the way,” she says, as they crowd on with a load of other returning students.

“Jon.”

“Here, you can have this back.” She pulls his hoodie off and he, once again, tries not to stare at the neckline of her robe that pulls dangerously far apart with the movement. “Thanks for keeping me warm, Jon the hypothetical physics major.”

The elevator dings at the third floor and then she's off, and Jon wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

A week later, after harassing Sam into giving him her dorm number, Jon finds himself in front of room 3-12, and he hangs a shopping bag from the handle. Inside is a new fluffy robe instead of that thin terrycloth one she'd been wearing, along with a note.

To keep you warm, hypothetically

-firestarter

[ofwingandfang]

had an amazing and v realistic feeling dream last night, that I was in a really big backyard with a stone step pathway goin thru the grass, and I was practicing quads on the stones hehe

at first it was simply padding along from step to step, then I was trying to jump and could do it, but I would almost fall on my face from landing too hard on my front paws ><

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

It’s been about 2 months since my sacral chakra has felt blocked and painful (can’t orgasm) and last night I finally, directly asked my body, “girl what’s goin on down/inside there? What do I need to look at to heal? What information is missing that I need to understand in order to heal?” I’m trying to ask my body directly what’s going on because I really believe that aspect of me will tell me in mysterious ways. What I’m seeking is seeking me type situation.

Cut to the dream!

Im pregnant, about to have a baby and im so excited (but also confused how it happened so fast in the dream). Mom is with me the entire dream. I have the baby and the first night shes sleeping with me on my chest. It was the most precious amazing feeling I’ve ever felt, this baby was mine, she came from my soul lineage. I remember feeling how special it was to have her skin sleeping against mine.

But all the sudden, she was kinda slipping away from my body and the next morning she wasn’t alive anymore, and she looked like Angelica’s doll from rugrats… tiny/skinny/mummified practically. Honestly this dream sounds horrifying. I was soooo upset and sad. Mom helped me thru it, nothing really happened after that.

Last night I did 60 min of breathing life force energy in and out thru my primordial sacral entrance (i felt so horny and wanted to climax so bad, and almost kinda did but it felt minuscule). I kept going and pushing the boundary of my pleasure bc I wanted to research / understand what’s going on and where the pleasure stops and the pain starts. After I was able to climax somewhat, my body didn’t feel excruciating pain like before, so I felt positive about it, like some healing amends have been made this far. But now this morning, in tandem with that dream, my sacral chakra feels backed up, hard, dysfunctional. I’m pretty constipated this morning. So my body is def still working thru some things (love you girl take your time!!)

Conclusions:

It makes me feel like my body still needs to process my 2018 chapter of abortion, copper wire birth control that fell out, horrible lemon size clotting for 2 months, weight gain and depression. I really don’t think I’ve processed all of that….

I feel happy knowing moms around for all of this, I know she’s helping me and watching over the souls of my past and future babies 🤍. Side note- at the pool last night I mentioned I can’t wait to have kids and Barco was like shocked ! But yes it’s true!!!

[ibelieveinghost]

3/23/24

sooooooo much happened this past week and I need to note down how things made me feel!!!

1st off I don't have my new visa yet. let's get that out of the way. I don't worry as much now. again, strange feeling.

2 things happened yesterday. went to M's orientation. I felt like my Japanese is def getting better, but not quite there yet. not sure how much help a part time job would do, but hopefully there'd be some improvements. fun fact: my employee selfie ranked 16/750,000 ppl LOL no kidding. I got that smile goin' oh and it's freaking cold yesterday. short sleeved uniform made it 1000x worse.

like...man. I felt kinda, really, honestly pretty umm...inadequate. as an adult. in terms of adulting abilities. the way I spent all my years doing big brain research stuff and not even having the experience dealing with 'real ppl'. not even a part time job(despite working at library for 6 years which doesn't count...too safe an environment), not to mention fast food/catering position like this. i have this looming fear(again) that this バイト experience would touch me in some profound, disturbing way. but anyway. I'd only grow more mature. with more tools and the mental agility to deal with more to come. like. yea. guess that's worth the price.

ok dok enough of that. Asa and I went watched dune 2 last night!!! imax laser at Shinjuku TOHO and it was so so so good! despite not having watched the first one, I find the fact of not knowing 100% what's going on less of a problem than me checking out their asses(yum) all the fucking time. would watch again, probably 4D next time bc I want to feel that sand(probably water, if we're being realistic) on my face. anyway, it was beautifully made. I came to the theater knowing jack shit about what dune it and left loving what I watched.

so that's Friday! I hangout with K Thursday, and had a long interview that evening too. again, I didn't do too well... which means I did kinda okay. still warming up to the interviewing thing I guess. hope I can get a third interview (they have 4 bruh), or a teaching demonstration next week. if I end up getting the offer, it'd be splendid. but I'm not exactly in a place be optimistic. those people are way too qualified than my current level. but I'll prepare anyway. you really can't treat ur pride or sense of worth too seriously in time like this. I know I have what I need. I know some feelings are only natural. and I decide to not dwelling on anything that's nothing serving me good and carrying me forward. and yes! I talked K into watching HH! big win! and we're going to the 🎤 theme cafe next Thursday woohoo! I had shifts scheduled mon-wed, so that gives me something to look forward to.

and then there's Tuesday. I hanged out with my kind and beautiful girlie D. can't believe she's going thru this much and did this much for folks who care so little about her. anger. I was angry. no one take advantages of my friends like this. I'll check on her more often and try to hang out more often. that's the least I can do. it's not like I can ask her to break up. but I'll be there for her.

mon and wed I slept away no kidding. I'll stop here. now photos:

(THE BEST CHINESE DISH I HAD IN TOKYO+proof that's I was NOT KIDDING)

(food and drinks lol)

(that was a nice walk we had roppongi->sendagaya beautiful weather + good tea, real good tea)

(the cards I got for my teachers! + not looking bad!)

I kinda forgot the write about my little trip to ikebukuro w/ asa last weekend. it was so much fun & I drank so much cheap wine at saizeria lol I'd like to add an entry for that night specifically but who r we kidding. chances are I just forget again. so here are the photos:

(wuwuwuwuwuwu BABIES)

(simply the best cheap wine out there and I'm ready to die on this hill. and... finally got to sit at the window seat at this saizeria crying shaking+literally stayed until the place closed)

(and we went to kichijoji on a whim. 終電までeven more chit chat at the park. it was so nice. so nice. so nice)

ok wow long entry! exactly what I wanted to do on a cold Saturday morning at my fav coffee place. closing thought: I think ppl don't understand how loud Japanese ppl can be. not complaining just stating the fact, that they can be really fucking loud in public. not sure where the 'quite' stereotype came from, and I believed it before I moved here. these. people. are. loud.

ok! off to have a productive day. hopefully! somehow this week ended up being so packed with social stuff/obligations. didn't even have the time to write here/on my journal. didn't have the time to study. hmmm..although I did read 500 pages of radioapple fanfic. but that's my selfceare leisure time!!! yea I read some really, REALLY good fluff. like oh my stars. that will never happen in canon but definitely a possibility and def not OOC.

b-bye!

[manicgoblin]

whole lotta new music courtesy of ru 🥹✨

love my friends so much fr. had a really warm and tender night. got home from work, cleaned my whole apartment cuz I was slacking the last half a week or so. listened to music and shared songs back and forth with ru. kinda half assed planned a trip to chile/stay with their aunt for the summer when their semester is up. Gotta get a passport by March so we can go. talked to my sister for a while, that was nice. He came over and we made dinner. he wanted yellow rice, so I got that goin, and he made us tuna steaks and a whole lotta veggies. we snuggled in bed and watched samurai champloo and she’s the man (i was super anxious from the gummy he offered me, but we made it thru LMAO) woke up this morning to a clean space and Tsuki giving us a good morning snuggle. gotta shower, do a couple dishes, and then head into work. todays going to be good. I got this.

as a side note…

this period has been killer on my mental health. I should really look into something for it at this point. with a solid routine and keeping up with my shit consistently for like 8 months now I can actually tell when it’s getting bad again, and it’s always the week before/during my period. the depression is so much worse. the brain fog. the pain. the hopelessness. the mood swings. the flashbacks and anxiety. my ptsd/bpd symptoms are there otherwise throughout the month but for those 1.5-2 weeks it’s hell, and it’s every. single. month. I’m exhausted. I know treating pmdd is learning what works, diet changes, managing a schedule so there’s less going on that triggers the mental health symptoms, and maybe antidepressants, but something’s gotta give. having to deal with this for the rest of my life is unimaginable. it’s not exactly gender dysphoria, but I am extremely dysphoric about my period now. my gender dysphoria is so much worse during these weeks. I hate my body and the way I present around this time of the month. I really do feel hysterical sometimes. like yes whoever said your uterus was in your throat, go take a day by the seaside and bring this vibrator and cocaine with you, WAS RIGHT lol. gotta go back in to see my docs soon and talk about reworking some med options. maybe a Wellbutrin rerun. and a new adhd test. finding out that my mother has it, and that that was my first diagnosis as a child has me like “yeah hello that was the problem the whole time and then y’all traumatized me and I got personality and trauma disorders” :/ I don’t think they’ll give me adhd meds with my history of drug use, but Wellbutrin might help again…idk. one step at a time. starting a course in Jan for this certificate, working two jobs, taking my permit test real soon now that they mailed me a new test date. everything is going to work itself out because I’m taking steps to get there. some days, some weeks are hard, but I haven’t let up in the face of that. I’m proud of myself. It hurts, I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m grief ridden still, but I’m also finding joy and I’m determined. I’ve gotten better. I have to see that. On the days when it’s dark, I have to remember how far I’ve come. How much I’ve done for myself, by myself. It’s been a long road, and it’s only getting longer, but damn it the scenery is beautiful for once, I can see the scenery for once. and isn’t that the point? picking wildflowers on your way? noticing the trees sway as you move past? pointing out the mushrooms on the side of the road, watching the ants crawl over a branch, sharing bread and fruit with your friends and holding hands while you walk? my body aches, my mind aches, but I’m not alone, and the trees are swaying with me. we’ve always been in synch. I’m being held by the earth everywhere I go. I’m holding myself. I’m holding my friends. I’m holding space for the trees around me. Things are okay, even when they’re not, even when they’re unbearable, things are okay. Life goes on. I keep getting older, so does the soil and the birds and the trees.

[ectonurites]

anyways

[astarriscus]

❀ : ❝ THIS EPHEMERAL MOMENT WITH YOU. ❞

ft. goro akechi (persona 5) x gender neutral reader. fluff / reverse comfort (traces of angst). spoiler-free (w/ some foreshadowing). either romantic / platonic / familial. warnings : n/a. wc ≈ 0.3 k.

just let this silent night be a moment frozen in time without fear of what tomorrow may hold, by each other's side.

( a/n : i imagine this to take place in the 2nd sem, day b4 the 6th palace's deadline ! currently goin thru ^^ & aajdhsidhs // after doing the palace ... reader ere is prolly not a phantom thief. or if they are, they're at least friends w akechi ejfbsjdj )

the night is quiet, and the breeze chilly. yet, even as the wind keeps blowing through the cold night, his eyes, his small rare (but genuine) smile, and his presence beside you is anything but cool.

it almost feels like a miracle, having made the famed 'second coming of the detective prince' lower his guard as so with you—then again, perhaps it is to be expected after knowing him for some time by now.

"goro?"

the single utter of his name from your lips captures him, you know.

his hand by yours jumps ever so slightly, before relaxing even more than before—a subtle movement that assures the both of you that you are still here. he almost could not catch you calling his name, but the quiet helped it stand out more, and so he does clearly. your eyes are still shut close, though his have been open for quite some time now, serenely looking at you even with his own droopy eyelids.

he lets out a small hum, "yes?", and the smile that arises on your face widens his a little more in turn.

"stay a bit longer. rest."

your words are soft and comforting—listening to it feels like having a warm blanket draped over him, and a mug of hot coffee brought to his lips by someone else's hand, rather than his.

a foreign feeling for him, as you both know.

tomorrow will be a new day—he knows not what it will hold (or does he?), and neither do you, but he couldn't care any less (not right now, at least.)

this is the moment, and this moment is with you.

and so the boy allows himself to rest for a while, even if this calming respite is sure not to last long—he'll take in as much of it as he can, while still possible, in this ephemeral moment by your side.

— © astarriscus. please do not plagarize, repost, edit, translate, heavily reference, or profit from any of my works !! . . .

[miru667]

undefined

A video of wips for my onceler zine cover piece! This drawing took me 6 months to finish haha. Click the readmore if you’re curious to learn more about my process and all the refs and inspos I used (transcribed from [this twitter thread]). [CLICK HERE] to see the finished piece.

I guess I’ll go from left to right? :>

7212 is my #1 ship in the fandom so of course I had to include some interaction for them..I purposely shaped that piece of confetti into almost-a-heart 9.9 In this interaction OG onceler is sizing him up to be his poster boy. It was inspired by this joke hc from junior: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/43633972614/truffulajam-you-there-me-sir-ive

The hose is from one of the lorax mini-movies but more specifically its from the nightblogging event in 2012, here’s an archive of a lot of the hose memes we created that night: https://oncelerswaterhose.tumblr.com/

He doesn’t actually have suspenders in the movie but they were a popular headcanon for him in 2012 plus they’re hot so I included them. It was important to me to include this transitional onceler in between vestler and suitler to remind us all that this is the same guy going thru different stages of his life.

Gloves in the back pocket is from concept art: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/146926446017/early-once-ler-sketches-by-eric-guillon-part-5

I really love the way I drew and coloured the folds of his coattails here too, as well as the moss I added last minute onto the truffula tree trunk.

The frame started out as just a plain brown rectangle and I thought, now that's not very seussy, so I referenced the Too Big To Fail frame in the movie. I believe it took me two whole days to draw just the frame. :,) And the seuss portrait I just referenced from google images but it was a challenge too; I had to completely redraw it near the end to make him look more accurate.

Lorax holding up a portrait of Seuss and using it to guilt the Onceler was inspired by a gag in Osomatsu-san where the characters would apologize to a portrait of their irl creator Akatsuka when they felt like they were being a bad adaptation of his original work 😂😂😂 loved it.

But it was also inspired by a very powerful comic drawn by my friend Rachel: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/92807755387/tsg I would say Rachel's art has been the biggest inspo for me in the past decade in both style and emotion, so I'm really happy I could include her influence into my piece like this.

I was SO happy I thought of a way to include these 2012 refs: -Complaint Box -☄☄☄ Waterballoon fight nightblogging event -gent's marriage to the fandom -ed helms finding out about oncest -Thneedville/Thornville High AU -WHO IS SWAG/askblog identity crisis nightblogging event -You Only Live Once(ler) -tiny chat parties -Camp Weehawken AU -tumblr anons/magic anons -normaler -Shakespeareler/"I must keep biggering" nightblogging event -Stay stupid, baby!

I wish I could've included more cuz these are still just above-water stuff in the fandom iceberg imo. If anyone wants me to explain more about any of these refs, feel free to ask!

The flip phone is from the deleted scene, "YER ALL GOIN TO JAIL": https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/153925999832/truffulajam-youreallgoingtojailmov-from

The bottom fake button on his suit is canon: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/615761075955187712/miru667-you-know-your-life-has-hit-a-new-low

This is my fav interaction in the piece...you can see it as either aftermath onceler taking the hat off of biggering onceler to foreshadow his fall, OR you can see it as aftermath-ler taking off his OWN hat to crown biggering-ler as the fool, because he's learned what a fool he's been. And actually a 3rd interpretation is aftermath-ler telling biggering-ler "yes enjoy your happiness while you can, king" 😂

And then with old onceler's hand on aftermath onceler's back, an act of consolation...I think it's very important to be able to forgive ur past self for the stupid things you've done, or else how can you continue? How can you grow? I can guarantee that 10 yrs ago we ALL did stupid things in the fandom. I originally drew aftermath frowning but changed it to a smile because he's thankful for the lessons and he can still look back on things fondly. I feel the same as him and I hope others do too. For this interaction I was inspired by Pearl fanart, she's a comfort character of mine and has helped me thru so much:  https://asteroidhyalosis.tumblr.com/post/188267156772 https://asteroidhyalosis.tumblr.com/post/623806330932805632

Biggering onceler’s side profile gave me THE HARDEST TIME. It was already January and I just COULD NOT get it to look right and I was ready to go take a 5 hour depression nap because of it but then my friend Edu saved the day ♥

Edu:  @hybridkilljoy​

Another friend contribution was the yellow bg. it was originally a boring flat gradient so Clara said "lmao what if I just gave you a yellow bg I painted to toss into ur file" because she had a rly good brush for it on procreate (and I was using paint tool sai and had nothing). i replied "oki" and then she just DOES IT..🥺♥

Clara:  @clarabellumsart​

idk where i'd be without my friends

I’m REALLY proud of this little area of my zine piece. The hand and blood is a ref to Truffula Flu, our zomb apocalypse AU. I had to redraw it twice to get it right. And I’ve drawn many a onceler chain but this is the BEST onceler chain I’ve EVER drawn. It took me many redraws to get it to look this way. Look at it just reaching out at you so fluidly..!! The lighting and the rust! Proud of me!!

The fallen truffula tree in the back...I really just thought "hey let's experiment with PAINTING" and went for it!! 😂 I wanted to pay tribute to my all time fav onceler fanart: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/27320592159/ask-drawn-onceler-money-in-the-trees-lol-hey Whoever the mod of ask-drawn-onceler was, if you see this I hope you're doing ok!!

As you guys have probably gathered by now, nothing is ever too late to change for me. If I felt like I could redo something to be better, I'd DO IT. The tree is another example, I was rly bothered that it looked like tentacles (right) so I completely re-rendered it to be more soft and fluffy (left). What made me realize that I could do better was after drawing the trees here: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/673766406272286720/early-spring-cleaning-part-2-drew-these-btwn I realized that actually, less is more, and that I had over-rendered the tree in my zine piece.

This was actually the first time I've EVER drawn old onceler, so I worked EXTRA hard...I hope I did him justice!! Every hair, every thread, every little thneed tuft was drawn with care. I even manually drew in the shadows for the stripes on his robe so they would look indented! And if you look closely in other screenshots, I also manually added shadows to every piece of thread that makes up the onceler suit stripes.

The LET IT GROW is in seuss font, but I didn’t type it, I drew the letters while mimicking the font’s style, then added edge lighting to make it look carved into the pot. Unfortunately we couldn’t keep the zine title in seuss font as well due to copyright restrictions and I think I might have died if I were to draw the title in seuss font too LMAO

The Audrey is of course intended to be movie Audrey but it's MY zine piece and I wanted to be a little self-indulgent.....so I drew some symbols on the plant pot representing my audrey oc, Audrey Grace. 🤫😇 She means everything to me. She is a direct result of the fandom and she keeps me in the fandom.

The blue kite originates from her mainverse askblog:  https://askaudtree.tumblr.com/post/71630954595/do-you-do-all-the-chores-in-the-house-hows-your She later uses it as a marker for lerkim hopping in zomb au:  https://audpocalypse.tumblr.com/post/178971798052/whats-that-blue-diamond-symbol-mean-its-on-your  She's a knife-wielding zombie slayer and also a kazoo master (the tree straightener in the pot has the same striped pattern as her kazoo): https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/629448230317490176/pls-click-for-hi-res-today-is-my-audreys https://audpocalypse.tumblr.com/post/179181386907/have-you-ever-run-into-any-lerkims-that-were

And because of spending so much of her life in an apocalypse, she’s learned to appreciate the fleetingness of life, because who knows what’ll happen tomorrow? Every moment is precious. This is cherry blossom philosophy: https://notwithoutmypassport.com/cherry-blossom-meaning-in-japan/

I think it’s so cool that since it took 6 months, I would improve like halfway into working on this piece which made me have to go back and redo some things LOL XD. The smoke in the background from the cigar was also painted with inspiration from tofublock, whom I discovered during the latter half of those 6 months too:  https://asteroidhyalosis.tumblr.com/tagged/tofublock https://asteroidhyalosis.tumblr.com/post/668656911468625921/will-you-watch-the-stars-with-me Look at the way they paint their clouds TTWTT so beautiful... I came across them while working on the zine and a lot of their art reminded me of my audrey so I was very taken!!

I positioned and coloured every piece of confetti with intent. The confetti idea itself I think was from Taylor Swift’s lyric video for 22 (Taylor’s Version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9boiT64sm0Q&feature=youtu.be Again, inspiration that came to me while in the middle of working on the zine.

I composed the piece chronologically to mirror the rise and fall of our fandom experience, followed by the calmer, peaceful present days. Aftermath onceler in the piece represents the perceived death of the fandom but outsiders don’t realize we have AUs, we like characters other than onceler, we can extrapolate the story any which way...so that's all represented by the right side of the pic. We won’t stop biggering!

Thank you for reading if you made it this far.. I tried to include as much as I could into my piece so that hopefully everyone who is/was in the fandom feels seen.. Only the best for the Once-ler fandom, you know? And there’s actually so much more I can say about this piece but I’ll end it here.