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#i was gonna bring up loki and how people love him despite him being a villain
lucianalight · 10 months
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A Glorious Culmination
Let's talk about that perfect ending with its beautiful scenes and epic soundtrack, shall we? Here's all the reasons why I loved it:
The ending answered the question "what makes a Loki, Loki?"
"Authority, independence, style". Sure, but that's not all of it. And it's not the real answer.
So who is Loki? A villain? A loser? What defines Loki?
There are many characteristics that define Loki but one of the main ones that truly sets him apart imo is that he is a catalyst for change. Loki when faced with options he doesn't like, or a problem that looks like doesn't have a solution, makes a new way, creates a new solution, chooses an option that didn't exist before.
He has the power to destroy, like the mythological tale of Ragnarok.
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And to give life. Like how the Ragnarok he brings, means the beginning of a new cycle in Norse mythology.
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-"Yeah it was the best character development. Loki went from wanting a throne to..."
Let me stop you there.
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Loki went from not wanting a throne but thinking he must have it to be considered worthy and an equal to Thor, to taking a throne despite not wanting it, because it was the right thing to do.
The fact that Loki sacrificed himself once again for the people he loved and cared about, wasn't a new character development. In the movies Loki risks and sacrifices himself every time when it matters. For Thor, for Asgard, for the world. The only development here was that this time he sacrificed himself for every universe there is.
And his sacrifice wasn't treated as sth he deserved by the narrative because of every terrible things he'd done. On the contrary the narrative acknowledges that this is the last thing Loki deserves. That he is paying for others' mistakes and wrongs. He spends centuries to save the timelines. He spends a long time trying to stop Sylvie without harming her. And when everything seems lost, he makes a decision to save everyone but himself, he creates a different path. He faces his deepest fear, to not hurt the people he loves.
If there is any character development, it's for the narrative and the audience that finally recognized who Loki actually is.
The Symbolism
I have to say my first reaction to the new Loki costume was:" This is the worst Loki costume ever :))))" also me two days later: "I'm gonna set it as my wallpaper." But I loved the symbolism. The biggest horns Loki's ever worn to show the weight of the crown. His cape that was connected to timelines, to show the burden of a throne. The simplicity in his clothes in contrast with his other outfits. Because this wasn't about the recognition Loki always wanted and deserved. This was about the responsibility Loki decided to literally put on his shoulders and feeling the gravity of it.
His shoes though :)))) I mean
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Either let him be bare footed or give him boots you cowards :D
The Parallels
The fact that how the ending parallels the first Thor movie and everything came back full circle.
How Thor and Loki destroyed sth at the cost of themselves losing the people they cared about.
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Loki doing sth not because of a desperation for acceptance, not because he thought it was sth someone else wanted.
Knowing if he chose the easier way, no one could have fault him for it because it seemed there was no other way.
He did it because he knew it was the right thing to do, because he knew who he wanted to be.
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Loki not giving up, not letting go, not falling down from a broken bridge, but ascending, holding on as he fixes what's broken.
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He holds and carries the whole universe on his back. It's not only a beautiful Atlassian tragedy, but also parallels Norse mythology in more than one way. Yggdrasil, the tree of life in Norse mythology, the one that Loki holds in his hands in the finale, wasn't the only parallel in the ending.
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There's a subtle and beautiful nod to Norse mythology. The tale of Loki being bound till Ragnarok. The myth that says when Loki gets freed, the end of the world begins.
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What a marvelous tragedy. And what a glorious culmination.
It's not all tragic though
Loki now is literally the most powerful and heroic character in MCU. He's holding the universe in his hands and keeping it alive. You can't top that.
And it makes his portrayal in the recent movies in which he was unfairly underpowered, even more ridiculous than before and that makes me happy :D
There is also a possibility to see Loki again and I'm not talking about the other variants. Marvel now has the best dues ex machina through Loki. He might be able to appear in any universe as an illusion to warn about dangers or help the characters. He might figure out a way to keep the tree alive without being there himself. That way he can find Thor in the sacred timeline. Or maybe the Loki who survived Thanos and is still in the sacred timeline finds Thor. Maybe there's still hope for a good reconciliation and a good story for Asgardian siblings.
So to sump up this was an epic, symbolic, beautiful and tragic ending. And yet hopeful. I loved it💚
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kitkatt0430 · 1 year
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Gonna watch one last What If? tonight and the third episode's description says a serial killer is targeting Nick Fury's picks for the Avengers before he can recruit them, so this sounds like it'll be very different from how the first Avengers movie went.
I always did like the Donut scene so it's fun to see that revisited from Fury's PoV.
And Tony's the first to die. Poor Tony. He spends most of IM2 dying of heavy metal poisoning that was definitely screwing with his decision making abilities and getting, quite frankly, shitty advice from people who later judge him pretty harshly for following said advice. (Mostly Natasha, honestly.) He's always kind of an idiot, but it is sad to have him die here at one of his lowest points and never be able to make things up to Pepper or fix things with Rhodey.
Also really sucks for Natasha because she thought she was helping him and instead she delivered whatever killed him. The way she reacts, I do get the impression she was a bit fonder of him than she wanted to admit. And now she's suspect number one, under arrest.
The escape scene is hilarious, I love it. :D
Meanwhile, back in New Mexico... who dies next? I mean, I'm assuming Thor? Could be Hawkeye or Coulson though.
Coulson is gay for Thor here, I'm telling you. Loves the hair, calls him gorgeous. Hawkeye also seems a bit gay for him too.
Ah, okay, Thor's dead and Hawkeye's been framed for this one. And then Clint dies too.
Coulson, please stop perving on Thor's corpse.
Betty!!! Betty Ross!!! I did not expect to see Natasha go to her for help.
Loki? Someone is not happy that someone else killed his brother before he could. He did love his brother, despite it all. He did bring an army. I admit I was half hoping we'd get a bizarre Loki and Coulson team up, but taking the planet as retribution is much more his style. And of course at the same time that's happening, someone sets off the Hulk.
I seriously love Betty here. Poor Bruce, though. Terrible way to die.
Coulson's password - SteveSteveSteveI<3Steve
That man is bi or gay, no way Coulson is straight.
Kudos to Natasha for figuring out whodunit and passing that info on to Nick first.
Hank Pym being the bad guy here really fits though I didn't see it coming. Hope having been an Agent too... I can definitely see her death unhinging her father enough to use the Yellowjacket suit. ('it's about Hope' was good foreshadowing, it's just been long enough since I saw an Ant Man movie that it didn't click at first.)
I'm pretty sure 'Nick' is actually Loki. Yeah, definitely Loki.
Loki - I thought I might stay longer.
Nick - Oh fuck, please don't.
Oh, hey look, President Loki. lol So the Avengers - Steve and Captain Marvel along with whoever else rises in place of the rest of the team - will still come together because of Loki in the end.
I think I liked the first two more, but this one definitely had a stronger plot than the second episode.
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leatafandom · 1 year
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Well... it's still my birthday somewhere and I finished it! As a gift to myself and anyone who enjoys my Monster Eater Verse, a new part of Kali's Collection is done and up on my Ao3! I do have a little clipping below for your reading pleasure. Please be sure to read the tags listed below chompers. Thank you for the birthday wishes and all the love this verse has gotten since it's beginning. <3
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Kali's Grand Experiment: Anthesteria
Ship(s): Sam Winchester/Gabriel, Non-Romantic Kali/Hecate
Warnings: Gore, Blood, Sexual Violence, Horror Themes, Blood Drinking, Unsafe Sex, Violent Sex
Rated: Explicit
Characters: Hecate, Themis/Justitia, Dionysus, Kali, Sam, Gabriel
Tags: Mythology References, Alternate Universe - Dark, Pagan Festivals, Stanford Student Sam Winchester, Alternate Universe - College/University, Dark Sam Winchester, Witch Sam Winchester, Fallen Angel Gabriel, Gabriel is Loki, Blood and Gore, Sexual Humor, Open Relationships, Established Relationship, Blood and Violence, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink Magic, Blood As Lube, Biting, Eating Each Other, Unsafe Sex, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, Voyeurism, Lesbian Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Sex Toys, Strap-On, Rituals, Drunk Sex, Masochism, Sadism, Schemes and secrets, There Be Plot, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat
Word Count: 8,557
Author Notes: I really wanna take a second to just appreciate you all and for all the love this series has gotten, it really does mean so much to me. I really didn’t think anyone would enjoy this verse when I started posting it. The past few months I’ve been jumping around the timeline and developing some arcs, plot points, and world-building for this verse, but I missed it. Particularly Kali’s Grand Experiment. I really, really wanted more Kali. So because it's my birthday and this is my favorite verse, have some more Cannibal Sam and Loki. I hope you all enjoy my gift to myself and you. It is filled with bits of world-building, powers that will be obtained in upcoming parts, and plots that'll be coming as soon as I finish writing it out. Just keep in mind Kali’s Grand Experiment is closer to Old Secrets, in the timeline, than it is to Hunger Games.
As always, please read the tags; I tried very hard to be accurate. This series features a lot of blood, unsafe sex, and eating people alive. It's just how they roll here.
Summary: There has always been one party that Sam has avoided since meeting Loki, Anthesteria. Despite Loki’s friendship with Dionysus, the two hadn’t returned to the three-day festival since Sam had first attended two years ago. However, this year he would be the Boy King and Kali had plans to be sure that he found it enjoyable. 
Dionysus had recreated his city and decorated it tenfold to honor the old festival, always hosting the three-day event without fail each year. It was the celebration everyone in the upper classes of the supernatural world looked forward to. Perhaps the only being on the guest list, not excited to attend, was Loki's abomination. The holiday had left a sour taste in Sam's mouth, ever since the illegal tribunal had caused both him and Loki to miss the first two days of Anthesteria. This year, Kali and Dionysus had been persistent in getting the pair to attend again, promising the twosome a better experience than the monster eater's first pagan celebration. 
Sam was still skeptical as he packed his own food and drinks to bring to the celebration in their kitchen, unsure if he was happy about the fact that the festival occurred during one of his breaks. The brunette looked over the stacks of containers and jugs and sighed, waving a hand to store them in one of Loki's storage dimensions. 
"Three days surrounded by food I can't eat and them." 
"Don't be such a sour apple!" 
Sam rolled his eyes at the huffing call from the adjoining room. 
"You keep it up, and we're gonna get a hurricane in the house again." The blonde huffed as he rounded the corner into the kitchen from the living room. "Besides, it's not like anything is gonna happen. Themis is presiding and Dino said only Hecate was coming, and she seemed…" Loki's voice trailed off, toying with his lips as the deity searched for a word that wouldn't irritate the already agitated soul.
Sam rose a brow at his pause. "She seemed like, what, Loki?" His voice rang with his heated curiosity. 
Loki's wandering eyes found Sam's again, waving a hand dismissively. "It'll be gravy. Just don't eat anyone." 
Sam groaned, closing his eyes and hanging his head. He shook it, leaning for a moment on the island between them. "Three days," he grumbled, combing his hand back through his hair and straightening his back. 
"We'll have fun." Loki chuckled, bending over the island Sam had been leaning on. "When have you ever been bored with me, my dark cherry?" The deity asked in a jovial sing-song voice, hips swaying from side to side as he bent himself over the marble top, already dressed for the Greco-Roman party. 
Sam tilted his head to the side, a crooked smile hanging on his lips as he looked over the blonde's gold-trimmed toga. 
"Very true," he hummed, his gaze sliding over Loki's toothy grin. 
Continue reading, Kali's Grand Experiment: Anthesteria, here on my Ao3.
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themculibrary · 6 months
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Mature Rated Fics Masterlist 2
part one
Complimentary Colors (ao3) - zenkitty555 stephen/tony 32k
Summary: Tony Stark is learning how to let go and live a little after giving his all for so long. Stephen Strange is still trying to balance all of his duties and find some time for himself. When Tony has to give him some bad news, the two start to realize that they may be able to help one another out in a few different ways.
Compression (ao3) - NamelessDragon bucky/loki 102k
Summary: Bucky's been in Wakanda a while, trying to keep his head down and learn to enjoy life again in the wake of the removal of Hydra's programming.
Then one day he falls down a hole into a secret lab.
Things don't get easier from there.
Dissonance (ao3) - stuckybarnes peter/wade 121k
Summary: Wherein Deadpool is reluctantly hired to protect Peter Parker from an organization out to hunt him, with varying success on both ends and quite a lot of feelings, revelations, and identity crises.
Do No Harm (ao3) - AuroraWest, the_genderman loki/stephen 69k
Summary: When Loki stole the Tesseract from the Avengers, he hadn’t been trying to break the universe. Nor had he anticipated a wizard saving his life.
Now, Loki finds himself in the New York Sanctum, helping Stephen Strange hold the universe together—while he himself falls apart. But trouble finds the God of Mischief whether he invites it or not, and good things don’t last for Loki. As his universe crumbles and takes another with it, he’ll be faced with a choice: the greater good or the people he loves.
Halo (ao3) - paxlux loki/tony 35k
Summary: The timeline starts in a fall of glass. There’s a staggering loss of gravity as Tony stares up at the suddenly blue sky.
i'm fine all alone (but its nice to be here with you) (ao3) - soliloquent steve/tony 9k
Summary: “Steve is content with spending the holidays alone. Being alive in a safe world — that was reason enough to be grateful, however fleeting this sense of security might be.
He is more than surprised to learn that Tony plans on spending it alone, too.”
—⎊—
or: Two months after the Battle of Earth, Tony, grappling with post-retirement uncertainty and an identity crisis, invites Steve on a Christmas trip to Jamaica. 🍹
Kingdom Come (ao3) - soniclipstick (veriscence) clint/phil, steve/tony 85k
Summary: Clint can't let go of his guilt, Phil knows something isn't right about his resurrection, and everybody knows Nick Fury lies.
There's an epic love story in there somewhere, if only Clint and Phil could look up from their wallowing and see what they have right in front of their eyes.
Hawkguy-616-MCU mash up. Beware the continuity.
Revenant (ao3).- stele3 steve/bucky 73k
Summary: Post-movie AU in which Bucky didn’t just leave Steve on a river bank...he took him.
Rock Me Gently (ao3) - enigma731, invisibledaemon gamora/peter 479k
Summary: “She is our--She is Gamora,” Nebula says. “There is only one Gamora and I know her better than any of you do.” She pauses and glares at Peter, clearly challenging him to protest that. For once, he doesn’t dare. “This Gamora has jumped forward in time nine years, but she is the same person at her core. Just as you are the same despite not having experienced the last five years I did. We are all just--out of sync at the moment.”
Take Me Home (ao3) - dabblingwithwords steve/bucky, pepper/tony 78k
Summary: “I’m so sorry, I’m gonna help you I promise, just don’t move, fuck, I ran over Captain America–” the man apologized, over and over, and all Steve managed to say was, “You’re really attractive,” before passing out on the guy’s lap in the middle of the road.
Terrible Idea (ao3) - MountainRose, szzzt steve/tony 55k
Summary: Steve and Tony get captured by AIM. Steve can handle bad wine and worse monologuing, but when he gets back to the cell, Tony's not quite how he left him.
It doesn't slow them down much.
The Contract (ao3) - Laily loki/stephen 60k
Summary: An awkward dinner party brings Doctor Stephen Strange and Loki of Asgard together; though ill-at-ease, still they seek the company of each other, being the odd ones out. One wakes up somewhat rested, the other in the worst pain of his life.
Thor is not a happy camper.
The Last Love Song of Anthony E. Stark (ao3) - jibrailis steve/tony, loki/sif 42k
Summary: After contracting an Asgardian virus, Tony starts forgetting things. And people. And Steve.
The Road to Courage (By Way of San Francisco) (ao3) - Sproings steve/bucky 89k
Summary: A road trip with Bucky sounded great. Except for the corporate sponsorship. And the strangers who’d be going with them. And the way Bucky always said they were “practically brothers” when Steve wanted ...
He tried not to think about what he wanted.
It was going to be a long drive to California.
The Tears We Hold Back (ao3) - Scarlet_Black wanda/natasha 115k
Summary: After losing her brother and her home, Wanda moves in with the Avengers, where a friendship grows between her and Natasha - and eventually develops into something more. But life catches up with them when someone interferes with the missions Wanda goes on and Natasha finds out that the Red Room is still operating.
This is a slow burn, post AoU tower fic (that takes place in the Avengers compound).
the shadows of beasts and kings (ao3) - GrimRevolution 43k
Summary: madness /măd′nĭs/ noun
1) A defense against terror.
2) A defense against grief.
til the clocks run down (ao3) - andibeth82 clint/laura/natasha 257k
Summary: "I think I do love her."
The words don’t shock her -- not really, not when she lets herself think about it. She does believe that Clint hadn't been sure about how deep his feelings for Natasha went the first time he admitted his attraction to her. But Laura would have been a fool to believe there wasn’t something more developing, especially after being around them in the few times they’d visited together since Clint’s confession. It had been easy to tell how their partnership was becoming comfortable, a relationship as worn and cozy as the one Laura’s built for herself with the man she’s loved for almost eight years.
[the beginning, the middle, and the journey home]
Things Unseen (That Are Captured on Film) (ao3) - scifigrl47 steve/tony, clint/phil 41k
Summary: In which the Avengers discover the video footage of Tony testing the Iron Man armor, and that goes about as well as it could be expected. Steve Rogers attempts to make peace with his lover's rather cavalier attitude to his health and safety, and starts learning more about Tony's family along the way, both the one he was born into, and the one he's chosen. And, of course, the one that's chosen him.
Subtitled: It's all Clint's fault. No one is surprised.
Whatever you say darling (ao3) - XtaticPearl bucky/tony 9k
Summary: Tony has been trying to woo Bucky for about a year now. He flirts, he builds him things, he kisses him on the cheek after movie nights and does almost everything he can think of to convince the guy that he really wants to date him. Bucky is strangely steadfast in his answer though: No, they can't date. After an explosive argument about the issue, Tony leaves the Tower for Malibu, making the team wary of a moody Bucky. When he comes back after two weeks, things are a bit...different.
Tony is actually doing exactly what Bucky asks. And it is creeping the team out while making Bucky go crazy.
what pain it was to drown (ao3) - winteratdusk steve/bucky 37k
Summary: It was November of 1941, the air was bright and clear and cold, and Bucky was starting to feel like he was living at the end of the world.
Or, with the world at war, responsibility on his shoulders, and the draft looming closer by the day, Bucky's just trying his best to stay afloat. Drinking seems to help, until it doesn’t.
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queersturbate · 3 years
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Yk I kin Light and I see Light hate all the time like honestly it’s kinda expected
Personally, if we’re talking strictly morals I think he was a bad person and not likeable and not that great, but I do also think he’s an interesting character
I’ve also like struggled with self hatred and self esteem issues all my life and just seeing you genuinely like a character I see myself in really makes me feel good about myself so thank you for that, even tho it probably wasn’t your intention it just means a lot to a depressed young girl on the internet
heyhey anon!!
this turns into a two part rant. part one is me talking about npd and light. part two is me loving light.
yeah i totally agree that Light is a bad person and did fucked up things. and that Light is a very 3D character that has a lot of intricacies that are important to look at and observe. I've talked a little about my npd + god complex on here and how i see myself in Light and certain parts of his thinking (dont yell at me, if you're confused ask me what i mean before you attack me). And how his own npd led him so quickly to becoming a self proclaimed god of the new world. npd is based on delusions and an incredible sense of self hatred. literally so much self hatred that your brain has created a delusion that you are not only better than everyone else, literally thinking they're inferior, but even sometimes going as far as to believing you're god (which not ever person with npd has). Idk! i just think attacking people who simply relate to a character for a certain reason (eg. disorders/mannerisms/etc) even if it's not the reason people think is normal or valid is bullshit, like they're just characters people made up in their head. Like people relate to L because of his autistic characteristics (me included lol) and no one even says anything, actually he's probably the most kinned character in anime LMAO. But people relate to Light because of his npd characteristics, that's considered strange and theyre told to stay away from people (literally im told that like everyday on tiktok LMAO) and like, literally why? because npd is a scary mental disorder? because it's not something for you to uwu soft boy-ify like L's autism? it's ridiculous. You can like a character. You can relate to a character for an ACTUAL non problematic reason. Having a disorder you cannot help having but you are getting help with is not a problematic reason. People don't understand for some fucking reason that if you relate to Light it doesn't mean you'd kill almost 200,000 people. Just like relating to L doesn't mean you'd commit the actual lawful crimes and moral crimes he did.
uhhh, man i talk a lot. who gave me a tumblr fr. that turned into a rant, i apologize, now for more rant. i genuinely love Light. and im happy people can have a little safe space with me while liking and relating to Light. and even if it's not npd, like it mainly is for me, Light has other character traits than just being narcissistic and having a god complex. He's good in school, he's quiet, he's naturally intelligent, he plays his little sports lol, we dont see him talk to a lot of his friends, he becomes obsessed easily, he's short tempered and a hot head, he overanalyzes everything, he's has a lot of mannerisms and traits that go along with him being gay and having internalized homophobia, he has parents who expect the most from him but not from his sister, etc etc i could list more. my point is there's more to Light than what light-antis (??) scream about. Light is a bad fucked up person, like we ALL agree lol. He's not a good person, he was NOT intended to be looked at like a good person. but people forget that while yes he is the villain, he is also our main character. you are supposed to relate to the main character. and relating to him doesn't mean you are a bad person. he's an interesting character that has more than one side, just like regular people so of course people would relate to him. idk. just. i love Light.
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shreddedparchment · 4 years
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A Wife for Thor Pt.20
Changes
03/21/2021
Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 6,206
Warnings: ANGST up the whazoo! Like seriously, angst. Language, more angst, talks of pregnancy, relationship troubles
A/N: Oof, this one is pretty bad. First of all, I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me. But anyone who knows me and my storytelling, I always ramp up the angst around here. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter to the best of your ability! If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo
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It’s nearly nightfall when Thor lands on the drive in front of your house.
His honeymoon haven, as he thinks of it often.
There’s hardly any impact from his descent, but what little there is kicks up a puff of dust despite the heavy gravel.
It crunches beneath his feet as he makes his way towards the front door. His boots fall heavy on the aged wood and before he can knock you’re there, pulling the door open.
You’re the most wonderful sight he’s ever had the pleasure of laying his eyes on. You’re perfection. Even tired as you look, eyes bloodshot, lips slightly off color, no glow in your cheeks or brightness in your gaze. You’re still the most beautiful creature in all of the universe.
He smiles at you but you stare at him stoically, then step aside to allow Dr. Wilson passage.
“Dr. Wilson,” Thor suddenly remembers sending her to be with you.
He smiles at her and she gives him one in return, albeit small and tight and it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Your Majesty,” she curtsies quickly before turning to you and placing her hand on your arm. “If you need anything, you have my number.”
“Thank you, Dr. Wilson, I’ll use it if I have to. Which something tells me I will.”
“Are you not better yet, cherub?” Thor asks, worry creasing his forehead.
You don’t meet his eyes and he notices the way Dr. Wilson steals a quick glance at him before she gives you a curtsy too then moves around him towards the drive to a shiny silver car.
You step out to the edge of your porch, waving at the Doctor until she’s gone.
As you turn back to him, Thor breathes in deep, almost taking a step towards you to wrap his arms around you and kiss you and quench this thirst for you that has been growing larger and more demanding every day that the two of you have been apart.
Before he can, you point towards the doorway and move past him, “You better come inside. It’s supposed to storm tonight.”
“Storm?” Thor asks incredulously. “Shall I chase it away for us?”
You don’t answer him and instead walk into the kitchen, disappearing from his sight as you move around the counter towards the sink.
Thor hesitates, his heart dropping for the first time since he arrived. At first he merely thought you exhausted from your illness, but now he’s wondering if there might not be something more going on.
Are you angry at him that it took him so long to come and see you?
As he shuts the door then steps towards your coat rack, he hangs his hammer carefully before moving towards the kitchen no longer in uniform but in a plain gray t-shirt and dark blue jeans.
“Are you not well at all yet, cherub? Will you need more time away from home?” he stops by the edge of the island, his hand reaching over to poke at the smooth wooden counter nervously.
The longer you take to answer him, the more he thinks something must be wrong, beyond your falling ill.
There’s no possible way that you might have found out about-It’s almost too unbearable to think of but as you keep your back to him, hands calmly but with purpose filling your kettle with water and dropping tea bags into a pot, his stomach begins to churn.
“Y/N, if something is wrong, I-”
“I’m pregnant, Thor. I’ve known for a week. Since the day in your war room when you were telling Loki that you wanted to get an annulment so that you could marry Jane.”
Thor’s heart stops. Outside the storm grows nearer faster.
Any light left from the setting sun is snuffed out by the black clouds of thunder and rain that Thor’s panic pulls from the atmosphere.
“I was coming to tell you, but you left your door open. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but then you said Jane was pregnant and for a moment I was hoping that maybe she was pregnant with someone else’s baby, but it didn’t sound like that’s what you were thinking so, I listened.
“My mind, at that moment, was a little foggy. You know? It took me a second to really think about what we could do. Because for me, I knew that even with this new hurdle, I wanted to overcome it with you. At your side.”
Thor watches as you step to the stove and light the burner, placing your kettle over it to boil.
His limbs are fuzzy, his mind a hive of buzzing bees and crackling electricity. His heart is still not beating but he can feel it breaking. Every fissure, every tear, he feels it from end to end. His mouth will not open and even if he had something to say, even if he could think enough to say it, you don’t sound finished and he will not interrupt you.
You move to pull two cups out from a cupboard and place one in front of the nearest stool to him, then the other on the island in front of the sink where you’ve been standing. You move the teapot over to the island too, then place both hands on the edge to lean all your weight against it.
Somehow, having you look at him is worse. He can see the heartbreak in your eyes, the betrayal. He can feel the anger surging beneath this calm exterior you’ve pasted on.
He’d rather have you rage at him, throw things at him, than see you keep your composure and think about this rationally. Because what can that mean? Have you given up on him? What does this mood of yours mean for your marriage?
“One of the first things I thought was that we should get Jane a room, or maybe a proper house where she and the baby could live because I could never keep you from your child. Not when they would be the rightful heir to the throne. And even if they weren’t going to be the heir, that baby would be your baby. Your child. So how can I ever keep them from you?
“I wasn’t exactly happy that Jane would be in our lives forever seeing as she is so openly…” you tut, looking up at the light fixture above as you search for the right word. “...not hostile. But she doesn’t like me. I could see it the moment she arrived but you seemed, I don’t know, oblivious of it? I’m not sure if that’s because it’s Jane or not, or if you seriously just didn’t notice?
“Every time we were alone, she always made sure to keep her distance. She never talked to me unless she absolutely had to, but as soon as you'd come into  the room she was all politeness and sociable,” you laugh without humor. “I still have no idea how you didn’t notice.
“It was sad, honestly. It made me sad, a lot. But I kept my mouth shut because you trusted her so wholeheartedly even though I could feel the snake she was. Maybe I shouldn’t be saying this, especially since she’ll be part of our lives now, but-”
“She won’t.”
You stop talking, fixing your piercing gaze upon Thor and all he can do is shake his head in rebuttal of what you just said.
“She won’t be part of our lives,” he continues, explaining himself as quickly as he can.
Now that he’s got a word in, he’s eager to tell you how silly all of this has been. How stupid and unnecessarily taxing the stress was.
“She’s not pregnant,” Thor smiles, and he is glad to see your relief.
It’s brief and subdued, but it’s a small sigh and a relaxing of your shoulders.
After a moment you take several steps back to lean against the sink.
“So we have nothing to worry about,” Thor continues, hoping to latch onto his spark of hope.
He rounds the island with godly dexterity but you take a step back, looking up at him with narrowed eyes.
Your anger is less hidden now, and he can see the outrage in your face.
He stops his pursuit to give you space.
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
Your demand confuses him. Doesn’t it make you feel better? It makes him feel loads, tons, millions of times better.
“I-” he begins confused.
“You were willing to leave me...to end our marriage, for a baby that hadn’t even been confirmed yet. You think telling me that Jane not being pregnant so now you don't have to erase our marriage as if it never existed is gonna make this better?!”
Thor is speechless, trying desperately to understand the problem, the confusion. Why are you still angry?
“Y-yes, my cherub. No baby, no Jane, no need to figure anything out,” he insists.
“YOU CALL AN ANNULMENT FIGURING SHIT OUT?!”
Thor winces, never having heard you this angry before. You’re livid and that scream is directed directly at him. It takes him a moment to regain some composure but when he does, he sputters to get his story out.
“I-I admit that perhaps the moment of my finding out about Jane was not my finest. I just learned that the once woman I loved was having my child and the scandal that would bring upon my people-”
You scoff and turn away from him, moving back towards the stove as a small stream of steam begins to rise. It’s not hot enough yet though.
Thor doesn’t understand. You know how life works. You’ve been there daily, watching him say and do things that he wouldn’t normally do. He’s being forced just as much as you are to deal with things, only his opportunities are much richer in variation.
“You’re angry with me?” Thor knows this, but something about saying it out loud hits him with a harsh sense of injustice. “What choice would you have had me make?”
You stiffen at his new tone. He can see the shift in your body, and he instantly regrets the momentary anger that boiled his blood.
The way your shoulders slump has his heart beating wildly with new panic. How does he fix this? How can he make this up to you? How can the two of you find some common ground?
“Not this,” you say, quietly.
Thor almost doesn’t hear you but only almost..
“Y/N…” his voice is softer, negotiating in an attempt to calm you.
The placating tone has the opposite effect on you.
“The one thing I asked you to do is to be honest with me. I asked you not to make a fool of me and you did it anyway. You lied to me-”
“I didn’t lie-” Thor begins, but he knows that omitting the truth is almost as good as. His voice trails off.
“Not only did you lie to me but-but when we took our vows, I thought-”
Thor clenches his fists, watching you struggle to overcome some emotion that he can’t see because you’re still facing away from him.
“I feel so stupid,” you gasp, and as your voice hitches, Thor realizes that you’re crying.
He rounds the island but you turn to look at him, throwing your arm out towards him, “No!”
He freezes, breathing labored as his stomach aches. His heart tears again, searing pain ripping at his chest.
It only feels worse as he gets a good look at your face, tears streaming down along your cheeks as despair washes over you.
“Don’t touch me,” you beg of him and Thor can’t believe you mean it.
You can’t mean it.
“The only thing I’ve ever wanted was to have a family of my own,” your words aren’t weak or stuttering now.
Your voice is strong and sure, the week of uncertainty having firmed your resolve.
What have I done?
“When you married me, when you accepted me as part of your house, I thought that I’d finally found that. Not just in you but in Loki and Hilde and Heimdall and the rest of our people. And in three seconds, you took that away from me.
“You abandoned me,” you declare and Thor can’t stay silent anymore.
“No! No, Y/N, I have not abandoned you. I’m here. I’m right here. I came for you. To take you home!”
“BUT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT!”
Thor can see the frustration in you, the utter befuddlement you must have felt, the betrayal. There’s disappointment and fear but most of all there’s loss. You’ve lost something this week, and even though he doesn’t know what it is for sure, he can guess.
“You gave the thought a presence and you meant it. You would have left me!”
“No!” Thor protests, an anguished cry of his own sorrow. A refusal of your conclusions.
“That’s what I was coming to tell you today. I woke up with the firm belief that Jane was still with child and as soon as it was confirmed, I was going to come and tell you that even with her carrying my child, you are my Queen.
“Nothing could ever change that and the only life I can imagine living is one with you at my side.”
You’re already shaking your head in protest, already disbelieving him. Thor attempts to step closer but you renew your extended arm.
“No,” you tell him firmly, voice low and quiet with resentment. “I need you to stay away from me.”
“You want me to go?!” Thor asks in pained disbelief.
You keep shaking your head, not answering his question.
The silence in the kitchen is heavy and to Thor, it feels endless.
Too few mornings flash through his mind of you waking beside him to turn and recount your plans for the day, your hopes for your lives together. You’ve always wanted to talk to him. You’ve always wanted to be with him.
His touch has never been unwelcome even in the first days of your courtship.
Your eyes are still flooding over, lips trembling, chest rising and falling with the effort of your crying.
His own body is still. This is the lowest he’s ever felt and he’s not sure what moving will do to him.
The quiet is ripped apart by the slow build up of your kettle’s whistle, but you don’t move to take it off the heat.
“Should I leave, cherub?” Thor asks again, his deep voice weak with emotion at the very idea that you’ll tell him to go.
You reach up to wipe at your cheeks, fingertips sweeping new tears away from the edges of your eyes as more rush to replace them.
You reach over and take hold of your elbow.
You’re thinking about it. You’re actually thinking about whether he should leave.
“No,” you finally whisper, unable to say it any louder he guesses.
It probably goes against every instinct in your body to allow him to stay.
Because he needs something to do, because he can’t stand there and just watch you hate him, he turns around and goes back around the island so that he can go to the stove behind you and move the kettle.
Thor watches you follow him with your eyes as he moves then take a step away from him when he slides behind you to get to the stove.
You move to take your seat at the island and Thor pours the heated water into your teapot.
He places the lid on top, the clink of the ceramic loud in your silence.
Your shaking hands give him worry and he moves towards the small pantry to pull a tin of cookies you’d bought in New York during your honeymoon.
You’d gone on and on about how much you enjoyed them and now that memory feels like a lifetime ago.
A happier one.
He moves around the kitchen taking a large plate and loading it up with your cookies. He grabs the milk from the fridge and pulls the artificial sweetener from the far end of the island to move it closer to you.
He’s aware of your eyes on him still, watching his every move with a gaze to rival Heimdall’s. He doesn’t try to dress his actions up as anything other than what they are; concern.
He places your cup closer to you, fills it with tea, milk, and your sweetener. Once done, he moves back around to his side of the island and takes his seat once more.
~~~~~~~~~~
You’re almost angry enough to be petty. You almost want to take your tea and pour it out. Just to show him how much things aren’t okay.
The way he’d walked in here, brazen and as if he hadn’t attempted to take the only true family you’ve ever known and erase it...you can’t.
More because you need to relax, in fear of the little life growing inside you, you take the tea and take a sip.
Thor knows just how you like it.
He’s watching you, staring. He's full of self-loathing and what you'd once thought was love for you. Concern emanates off of him.
He reaches out, and for a moment you think he might take your hand.
You flinch, pulling both your hands onto your lap, but Thor’s hand only meets the edge of the plate of swedish dream cookies you’d bought on your honeymoon. 
He pushes it towards you, and your heart aches painfully. This agony is unbearable.
Your lip quivers again, unable to contain the sorrow of what your marriage is now facing. You know just as he does that you're at an impasse. Tonight things between you will change.
For the better? For worse?
Thor loves you. You can see that. You saw it the moment he showed up, smiling and so happy to see you that his electric blue eye was beaming.
It was that love that made you so angry. It’s why you shouted when you’d promised yourself that when he came, you wouldn’t raise your voice.
Heimdall had been nice enough to give you warning this morning that Thor would be coming today and that nothing would deter him from seeing you.
You’d been so angry when you’d gotten the call, but you’d talked to Dr. Wilson about staying calm and she'd pointed out that having all of these unresolved feelings would do the baby more harm than good.
While deciding to resolve this today, choosing to stay calm had failed dramatically.
“Please, love, eat something,” Thor begs. "You're shaking. I know you've eaten nothing all day."
How the hell can he tell?! Was Dr. Wilson spying for him?
Even she'd been unable to force more than a few bites of a sandwich into your stomach. You've been dreading this confrontation all day.
Now that it’s here, it's worse than you imagined.
You hate how much hearing the pain in his voice also hurts you. You don’t want to feel any kind of sympathy for him right now. After what he said…
You eat because you’re worried about the baby. Not because Thor is asking.
One cookie is enough to help your queasy stomach feel better, a sip of tea settles your frayed nerves.
You relax a little, the tension in your body partially gone.
Neither you nor Thor say anything for a while and you’re grateful for the silence. You need lots of time to think.
While you think, you eat.
Cookie after cookie as your stomach groans in relief of finally being fed. Not exactly nutritious but it's something.
Despite your body's reaction to the unexpected junk food, the revelation that Jane isn’t pregnant after all is the only thing that you can really focus on.
You'd know she would try something. Not this though. You'd expected a pass at Thor. You'd expected her to try and get him back and you'd been so sure about his feelings for you that you'd been sure nothing would happen.
You hadn't expected her to find a way to reach in and pull it all up by its roots.
Finally, Thor clears his throat. There's and eager shine to his eye now, curiosity needing answers. In this moment you realize that his mind is filled with something else. Something much happier to think about that while it does bring you joy, you can’t share in that joy with Thor yet. Not after everything.
“Is it true?” he asks, the corners of his lips curved and the set of his brow eager. He can't help it. “Are you really pregnant?”
You meet his gaze and reach up to wipe the last of your tears away.
“I’m about three months? A little over. It would have happened during our honeymoon.”
Your explanation brings a smile to his face and he’s so beautiful you find yourself hardening again in defense.
"Your Asgardian blood was making it difficult for my doctors to confirm the pregnancy. The first was negative. The second, inconclusive, but then negative. The third was also inconclusive but this one didn't change to negative so they tried some other things and it finally showed positive.
"They tested my blood over and over. It’s real."
This is what both of you have been wanting since before you were married. You’d wanted to give him an heir and he’d wanted one. You’d wanted to start a family and he’d been desperate for the same.
This is the moment the two of you have been dreaming of and now that it’s here, it’s nothing like you’d pictured.
The joy you’d felt on your trip to the war room to give him the news is lost on you now. Tainted.
“Are-are you not happy?”
“How can you ask me that?” you frown, hostile resentment tainting your features.
He deflates at your tone and you almost regret letting how you feel show so openly.
Almost.
Thor’s face pales and he looks down at the island, his own cup still empty.
Because you do feel bad, though you don’t regret letting him know how angry you are, you get up and pull a beer from the fridge.
Placing it in front of him, you take your seat again.
Thor’s face floods with hope.
"The only reason you're here is because Heimdall knew you'd come. He saw that you were decided and would stop at nothing to come here but if he hadn't given me the warning, you'd be standing outside on the porch banging on the door asking me to let you in. You need to know that.."
Even though the hope in his eyes had made you so angry just a moment ago, as it disappears, you feel a surge of grief.
"I don't understand," Thor begins softly, both hands reaching across the island towards yours wrapped securely around your tea cup. "Why are you so angry, cherub?"
He's not putting it together? Does he seriously not see how what he did is a problem?
"I've told you that Jane is not pregnant so there will be no child and even before I'd found out, I had made my choice to stay with you. These are good things, aren't they?"
The wonder in his voice is real. The agony of his confusion is real.
Somehow you need to make him understand.
You scoff, trying hard not to be cynical after the blow you've taken to your pride.
"Do you remember the day we got married?"
"Vividly," Thor nods and attempts a smile.
A quick stern glare from you settles him down.
"Do you remember welcoming me into your house? Do you have any idea what becoming a member of your family has meant to me?
"I have lived my life alone, Thor. I had no one. From the day my parents died to the moment I agreed to marry you, there was not a single person who I belonged to who also belonged to me.
"Marrying you gave me a home. It gave me people to call my own. It gave me a kingdom full of loving and loyal subjects.
"Marrying you took my loneliness and destroyed it. I had a brothers, sisters, and a husband who I thought loved me as one of his own. I thought you had accepted me as part of your family until the day I died."
You sigh, voice tight and always on the verge of breaking into tears.
"I have, cherub. You are my everything!" Thor’s interruption doesn't phase you this time.
You keep talking as if he'd said nothing.
"And when I've finally done it, when we've finally got what we wanted, you throw me away."
"No!" Thor rises and moves around the island towards you.
This time you don't stop him because nothing he says or does will change your mind. Nothing will fix this.
He sweeps you into his arms, pulling you close so that you have to look up at his face from your spot in your seat. His massive hands caress the sides of your face as his pleasant warmth chases away the horrible nightmares you’ve had all week.
But his arms, his touch, can’t chase away the break in your heart. It can’t fix the pain that feels etched into your veins. Your sinew is rewritten with the agony of his fleeting choice to leave you. Nothing will ever be the same.
“I didn’t throw you away, I was confused. I didn’t know what to do or what the best course of action was. I should have come to you. I should have told you about Jane and I should have consulted with you, my wife, my Queen before making any rash decisions.
“I know that I did wrong, but believe me when I tell you that I love you more than my own life. I can’t imagine my life without you, cherub. I’m sorry that I have caused you such distress. I am sorry that I made you think, even for one second, that I could make my way through this existence without you.
“I love you. And I am never letting you go.”
Your heart is unmoved. Even as he stares down at you with his eye clear and sure. The set of his jaw is firm, and his hands keep stroking your cheeks, temples, and scalp as you watch the fire in him fade.
Slowly, he realizes that the damage is done.
It takes him a long time. His body falls, shoulders slumping, arms not so tight around you, hands a little more gentle. It’s the set of his lips that tells you when he’s accepted it. That he’s broken you and your marriage and there is no repair here.
Not now.
“What will you do?” he asks, hands gliding down along the sides of your neck, shoulders, arms, and elbows where he finally lets go and moves back around the island to take his seat again, throwing himself down in defeat as his hand wraps around his beer.
“I’m still your wife, Thor,” you sigh, turning to look at your cup of tea. “I am still Queen of New Asgard. I’ll do my job as best as I can, from here.”
“Here?” he asks, shocked.
“I can’t go back to the palace. Not right away. I need...I meant it when I said that I needed a break.”
“From me?” Thor guesses, and you can see his heartbreaking.
“From us, yes.”
“How long?”
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “A few weeks? Months? Years?”
He looks more devastated the longer you speak.
“I don’t know how long it will take me to trust you again. When you told Loki that you’d get an annulment and make me out to be the problem by my not giving you any kids, you took any faith and confidence I had in us and your love for me and flushed it down the toilet.
“I can’t just pretend that didn’t happen. Even though we have nothing to worry about now, I can’t just forget the way I felt. I’m gonna need time.”
The war raging within Thor right now is painful to watch. You can safely assume that he’s almost refusing to go another day without you, much less weeks, months, or years. 
You can also see the regret he’s feeling. The anger. It passes quickly though, and Thor takes another long drink from his beer, draining the bottle before he sets it aside.
He reaches up to wipe at his fuzzy lips, his beard scratchy as he breathes in deeply.
He meets your gaze and nods, “I will give you whatever you need. I will send you a guard. I don’t want you here alone.”
You’re not about to oppose the protection. Not with the baby on the way.
“You should probably make the announcement of the baby. And give some excuse about me staying away. Our people deserve to know. They’ve been waiting too.”
“Mm.” Thor agrees. “What shall I tell the others?”
“Loki already knows. He’s known since I came here.”
“What?!”
“Hey, no!” you frown at him, anger tinging your words. “You can’t be angry at Loki for doing as I asked. I’ve been alone up here waiting to know whether you’re going to leave me or not. He only did what I needed.”
Thor’s anger passes through him in phases. In seconds, he’s calm again, but still breathing through flared nostrils.
“Why did you not tell me? If you’d told me sooner-”
“If I’d told you sooner then I wouldn’t know if you were with me because you love me or because the baby was finally coming. I didn’t want to live the rest of my life never knowing whether your sticking by me in this marriage is because I was finally having our kid. That’s not the kind of life that I want for myself.
“I’m not sorry that I didn’t tell you, Thor. Because even if I can’t trust you, at least I know whether you’d decided not to leave me before you knew I was pregnant.”
Thor’s face is full of sorrow. He’s coming to terms with everything as quickly as he can since you’re not giving him much choice. Are you wrong to put some distance between the two of you?
Should you forgive and forget?
Part of you, the part that loves the man you married, wants to reach out and touch his cheek. You want to tell him that you love him and that nothing will ever change that. You want to celebrate the future you have growing inside you and revel in the fact that Jane’s lie is over and move on with your lives.
The bigger part of you can’t trust his words. Can’t trust his touch. In a few moments, Thor had torn apart the truths of every caress and declaration that he’d made since you got married.
The bigger part of you knows that you can’t trust him. The bigger part of you knows that he could hurt you again. He might very well rip your heart in two for good the next time, and what kind of life can you have like that?
No. As much as your heart loves him, your brain is telling you to play this cautiously from here on out.
“I’ll come to any functions I need to. I’ll make sure I’m there on your arm. But don’t expect things to be the same between us Thor.”
He nods in defeat, “Can I fix this? Is there anything I might do to prove to you that my love is real?”
“It’s not a question of me not believing that you love me,” you explain, sighing lightly as you come to these realizations yourself as Thor makes you face the inevitabilities you’ve been avoiding all week.
You’ve tried hard to keep from pondering the future with or without him. Now that he’s asking, you can’t avoid it anymore.
“I know that you can’t put me before your throne. I know that your people have to come first. I’ve known that since I married you and when I talked to Loki and David about what happened they both told me what I already know.
“You have responsibilities to our people first and foremost and any choices, whether you want to make them or not, are made for them. I can never be first for you. I know that. My mind knows that. It’s honorable that you will always do right by your people.
“But my heart can’t accept that,” you’ve been trying to keep from crying again but as you admit your insecurity aloud, your heart clenches painfully drawing from your eyes a welling of tears. “Because I’ve fallen in love with you completely, Thor. I never knew that loving someone could be this terrifying and painful. Just the thought that you’d decided to make our marriage disappear as if it had never happened ripped me to pieces and I don’t know how to come back from that.”
You sob and Thor leans over the island to take your hand. You don’t pull away this time. You let him give you this small bit of comfort because you need it. Your heart, the fact that he wants to touch you, needs it.
“Even if it was only for a moment, you left me. I want to be first for you. I want to be the only thing that matters. And I can’t be. And I know that. Which makes me feel like such shit because I shouldn’t be asking you for this. I know that you can’t give it to me.
“It’s why Jane told you no. Along with her job, I know that it’s the reason that she couldn’t marry you. She knew that for you, she would always come second to New Asgard.
“I knew that too. When I agreed to marry you, I knew that you’d have to do things for them first. But I love you so much and I-it sucks that I know now if you have to choose between me or your people, you’ll choose your people.
“It’s right. You should. But it fucking sucks and it hurts too much.”
You’re full on crying now and Thor gets up, but you raise your hand to stop him. With a shake of your head he sits back down.
“So…” you sniffle. “What you can do for me is give me the distance I need to work through this. I need to come to terms with the fact that after our baby is born, I’ll be third. I need to just learn and accept that no matter how much you say you love me, you can never choose me.
“Can you give me that? Can you give me space?”
As you meet his gaze, his intense unrelenting stare, you can see him warring with himself. You can see the confusion and the indecision. You can see the agony of what you’re asking of him but somehow he manages to nod.
His own eye waters and after a second nod, his tears spill over to trail across his cheek and lose themselves in his beard.
“I’m sorry, cherub,” he grieves. “I never meant to hurt you like this.”
“I know that, Thor. But I have to find out how much of myself I can invest in our marriage. Because if loving you like this means I have to feel this kind of pain over and over again, I don’t think I can keep loving you. Not like this.”
Your words hurt him and you regret them, but you can’t take them back because they’re truth. You need to guard yourself and you aren’t going to apologize for putting yourself first when no one else in your life will.
The silence is never ending.
The two of you sit sniffling at the island for what feels like hours. Finally, your stomach rumbles loudly and Thor springs up from his seat to the fridge.
He starts pulling out an array of ingredients that you don’t pay too much mind to.
He fills the house with the smells of chicken, paprika, rosemary, lemon, and some other spices you can’t pick out. It makes your stomach growl more loudly and at least with his mind and hands busy making your dinner, he stops crying and that at least gives you a little bit of a break from the horror you’ve been feeling at causing him so much pain with your choice to distance yourself from him.
“Might I stay the night?” he checks, surprising you a bit by the question.
“On the couch,” you whisper, unable to speak any louder.
The idea of him sleeping in the same space but not next to you is unbearable, but somehow you find a way to deal.
His hand stutters over the pan but after a moment he goes back to cooking.
“The couch is fine,” he agrees. “Whatever you need, love.”
And even though his words tell you he’s fine, you know him well enough to recognize the depression in his stoic gaze.
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oh-hush-its-perfect · 3 years
Text
Alex Fierro's Introduction Full Breakdown
Okokok so. This is going to go full English-professor mode, where I'm drawing conclusions that are gonna seem a little far-fetched. That's what's fun about media analysis! I can say something is a symbol, and even if I don't have enough faith in RR's competency to know if he meant for it to be a symbol, it's still true! That being said, a lot of these choices I'm sure are intentional, either at a literal or subliminal level. Page numbers are going to be used not to assert a kind of authority or whatever— this is a Tumblr post, not an essay— but to help readers find the pages I'm referencing in case they'd like to do some digging of their own. Also, this is going to be really long. Really sorry to anyone with ADHD; I might make an audiofile of this so you can get the information without having to read the whole thing. With all that, let's get into it!
To kick off, let's talk about Alex being in the form of a cheetah when she first meets Magnus. Of course, there's the obvious impact of him seeing her but only so breifly, as well as introducing the conflict between her and the rest of Hall 19. But that could have easily been accomplished by almost any animal. The choice of a cheetah being implicated implies two qualities of Alex that will be recurrent throughout the two books she's in: 1. She has a tendency to run away, as we'll later learn when she describes how she became homeless, and 2. To Magnus, she's elusive. She can't be caught or held down. The event that shows this so transparently is how Alex refuses to define their relationship at the end of the series, despite it clearly surpassing the normal bounds of friendship.
But the cheetah isn't the animal Alex is in the form of when Magnus first gets a good look at her; she's a weasel. Weasel's bring up all kinds of connotations: ferocity, slickness, a lack of charm. When we want to describe someone as an untrustworthy person, we call them a weasel. RR had Alex take this form to play up her comrades' feeling of distrust towards her. She could be a double-crosser. But paradoxically, the up-front and vicious mannerisms of a weasel also have a transperency. She does not try appealing to her Hallmate's sense of goodwill because she doesn't have anything to gain from it. So even though there is the implication that she might be an antagonist, there's also evidence from her actions and mannerisms that she isn't. The weasel's long and skinny frame also allow for a smooth transition into Alex's actual body, which is convenient.
As Alex transforms into her usual human form, Magnus describes her as "a regular human teen, long and lanky, with a swirl of dyed green hair, black at the roots, like a plug of weeds pulled out of a lawn" (pg. 50). That simile at the end is of particular interest. Let's compare it to another time Magnus describes Alex's hair, in Ship of the Dead: "Her hair had started to grow out, the black roots making her look even more imposing, like a lion with a healthy mane" (pg. 136). By contrasting these two different examples, we can see the development of Magnus and Alex's relationship. The first time he sees her, he thinks of her hair as something nasty— note the word choice "weeds." Later on, though, he becomes more affectionate towards her, more complentary. The immedient negative reaction is less his actual impression, though, and more the reaction he expected to have based on everyone else's reaction to Alex.
Her clothes are equally as interesting; as Magnus describes it, Alex wears "battered rose high-tops, skinny lime green corduroy pants, a pink-and-green argyle sweater-vest over a white tee, and another pink cashmere sweather wrapped around the waist like a kilt" (pg. 50). Aside from the obvious fact that this outfit is a) bizzare, b) fire, and c) Alex's signature colors, which add a layer of style to what can otherwise be a somewhat boring series fashion-wise (excuse me, Blitz), the outfit reveals a crucial facet of Alex's backstory in a kind of subtle way. These are expensive clothes, like the Stella McCartney dress in Alex's room. Note the mention of fabrics (corduroy, cashmere) and patterns (argyle). These indicate wealth and status. Even the high-tops; shoes like that don't come cheap. But I'd like to return to the very first word of the section: "battered." Alex's wardrobe show-cases a proximity to wealth, but also shows that that proximity has been strained and lengthened, maybe for an extended period of time. Alex dresses like a rich person, but she isn't one. Least, not anymore.
The last word of that outfit-introduction is also of interest: "kilt." At the current moment, Magnus thinks that Alex is male. No one has indicated otherwise to him. Everyone has been referring to Alex with he/him pronouns. Samirah called Alex her "brother" (pg. 29). His first thought in seeing what he at first perceives as a guy with a jacket wrapped around the waist is That looks like a kilt. This thought tells us about Magnus: despite being open and accepting, he still has some lingering notions of gender conformity from his years in wider American society.
Magnus also indicates that the outfit "reminded me of a jester's motley, or the coloration of a venomous animal warning the whole world" (pg. 50). This is rather self-explanatory, but it's still worth noting that Magnus sees the outfit as something bizzare, strange, and even perhaps comical. This places Alex at odds with the other people Magnus has met. It also reveals that Magnus has zero fashion sense. But we already knew that.
After finishing up staring at the ensemble, Magnus finally gets around to actually looking Alex in the face. First Magnus says that he "forgot how to breathe" (pg. 50), which, yeah, relatable. This is justifed by saying that Alex has the same face as Loki, but the very same sentence that asserts that that's the case also suggests an alternative reason: Alex has "the same unearthly beauty" as her father. Here we can see the beginnings of Magnus's attraction to Alex, though at this point, he still has a lot of internalized homophobia. Though there's certainly some truth in that Magnus was unnerved by Alex's resemblance to Loki, the idea that Magnus pointed out that Alex was pretty without elaborating on that thought until about a chapter later— after he was informed that Alex was presently a girl— can tell us a lot about how Magnus perceives sex and beauty.
Of course, Alex's eyes are given special attention. She has cool eyes; what can I say? But I'd like to focus in on how Magnus here depicts Alex's heterochromia as "completely unnerving" (pg. 50). Again, let's contrast this with how he describes them after getting to know Alex a little better in Ship of the Dead. In Chapter 3, Magnus describes "[Alex's] dark brown eye and his amber eye like mismatched moons cresting the horizon" (pg. 25). Once again, this shows the development of their relationship— but this time, it's in a much more personal way. Eyes are the windows to the soul; they are culturally important and biologically important in inter-personal connections. In you look into someone's eyes, you're giving them your full attention, and you're implying a kind of closeness. The way that Magnus describes Alex's eyes in the second passage is downright intimate. At this point, he is in love with Alex, and it is clear when contrasting the two descriptions.
As my last point, I'd like to discuss Alex's first words on page: "'Point that rifle somewhere else, or I will wrap it around your neck like a bow tie'" (pg. 51). First of all, Alex saying this with a "perfect white smile" (pg. 51) on his face implies that she is used to being threatened. She is not afraid of being shot; she counters the promise of an attack with a promise of her own. This pleads the question: why is Alex accustomed to violence? What events of her past or qualities of her life have brought her to this point? The threat itself reveals Alex's trauma from being genderfluid in a society with rigid gender norms, as well as her antagonistic relationship with her father. Magnus makes a comment that Alex "might actually know how to tie a bow tie, which was kind scary arcane knowledge" (pg. 51). Like Alex's wardrobe, the idea that she may have experience in high-class fashion also implies her former status as a rich kid.
I could go on. I could break apart Alex saying "'Pleased to meet you all, I guess'" (pg. 51). There is a wealth of information in this short page span that tells us things about Alex Fierro in the present moment, quietly demonstrates things about her past, and characterizes the narrator Magnus Chase. This passage is also effective in hindsight in marking the progress of Magnus and Alex's relationship.
But I'd like to take a step back and look at not the pieces, but the whole picture. Alex Fierro gets a full page of pure description— her outfit, her face— and about a chapter of introduction. This comes after several chapters of build-up. Alex Fierro is an important character you need to keep your eyes on. Alex Fierro is emotionally significant to the main character, Magnus Chase. Alex Fierro is one of the most developed and well-rounded characters that Rick Riordan has ever written— heck, she's one of the best characters in middle-grade books period. The extended emphasis on her and her alone tells us exactly what role she's going to play in this story: she's the star.
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Moving day
Based on @lucywrites02's writing challenge, with the prompts "1. You're family" and "8. I have a surprise for you". I wish you a very happy birthday, Lucy!
Pairing: Loki x fem!reader (Tony Stark's daughter, not Morgan)
Word count: 3.2 K
Warnings: fluff and pregnancy :) This was very adorable to write.
Taglist: @lucywrites02, @louieboo87,@jesuswasnotawhiteman, @geekwritersworld, @whatafuckingdumbass, @mysticunicorn7, @toe-vind-ek-jou, @t00-pi, @selfship-mishaps, @sallymagnoliaposts, @deadgirl88, @enderslove
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Gif: @moonrainbow
It had surprised Thor greatly how quickly and intensely his brother had fallen for you. He was as committed and truthful as he has never been in his long, long life. He looked at you softly, in comparison with everyone else. As soon as you walked in a room, he followed you with his gaze and invited you to his conversation. It wasn’t a surprise that after a few months of this very silent flirting (that very few noticed, because it mainly consisted in batting eyelashes and repressing subtle smiles when the other was around) you’d come out of the shell and admit you started dating. Thor was ecstatic.
Tony, on the other hand, was not amused. Not amused at all; in fact, he hated the idea of you going around with that God. He said, explicitly “if you ever get in trouble because of him, you solve it yourself. Nothing of coming for daddy to help, clear?”. Pepper had told him to cut some slack, and observe at how happy you were together, but he, stubborn to the bone, had to take a few months more before accepting the fact that his little girl was in love with the God of Mischief.
But the months passed by; almost a year, and you grew closer and closer. You hated to sneak into his room every night, and get interrupted all the time by every single soul in the compound, or mocked to death every time you cuddled on the sofa, watched a movie or read a book together. So, it all boiled down to the same conversation:
“I don’t think he’s ready”, you said while pouring some milk on your cereal. Nat rolled her eyes.
“He’s even readier than you”, insisted Wanda. They were exhausted from having the same conversation over and over, but you couldn’t bring yourself to actually do something about it. “He’s lived much longer, if any of you two were to be unready, that’d be you”.
“Do you think I’m not ready?”, you doubted yourself.
“God, Wanda. You’re planting unnecessary seeds here. The girl’s already anxious enough”.
“I just think… I want him to be with me for the rest of my life. I don’t know if he feels the same”.
“He totally does”.
“Yeah. No doubt about that. Just look at how he looks at you. What are you even waiting for?”.
“I don’t know, a signal?”.
“Of what? You’re impossible. Unless God themself comes down the sky and tells you textually just move in with him, you wouldn’t consider it a ‘signal’”, bitched Nat. But she was right. Commitment was not exactly your thing, even though you were as in love as you could be.
You heard an oncoming scream approaching the room. In silence, you three observed cautiously, and moved away from the middle. The screaming increased its loudness, until a body shattered the roof and fell to the floor violently. Loki laid still among the dusted debris until a second screaming started sounding from the sky.
“Oh, fuck”, he said, managing to get up quickly and making himself as a shield for you three. Thor landed on his feet over the same spot Loki had fallen. Dust flew everywhere and the floor cracked a bit more. “Don’t”, he alerted, pointing at his brother menacingly.
“I’m tired of your whinings, brother. Do something or I’ll do it myself”, spat Thor, grabbing Mjölnir and leaving the room. Loki sighed and sat on the couch, cleaning the remains with his magic. Wanda sighed and put it all back together.
“And what was that about?”, asked Nat, eating a candybar, still on the same spot as earlier. It wasn’t an unusual scene.
“I…”, said Loki, but desisted. You sat on the couch by his side and he laid, using your lap as a pillow. You took out a tissue and started carefully cleaning the blood off his cuts. He smiled softly. “We just had a fight”.
“I can see that. What did you fight about?”.
“He wants me to… well, talk to you”, he struggled to say.
“Well, we’re talking now”.
“Yes. No, wait, no. Like, talk talk”, he clarified, and Nat and Wanda nodded, leaving the room. You could still hear their chattery from the door.
Loki sat up and grabbed both of your hands, making direct eye contact. He was nervous, which only made you even more unsettled. He was never nervous. He was always calm, even in life or death situations. He was unfazed in everything and with almost everyone. Almost.
“What do you want to talk talk about?”, you joked, and he chuckled, releasing some tension.
“I want you to move in with me”.
“Oh. Wait. What?”.
“Like, move out. But with me”.
“To your room?”.
“Out of the Compound”.
“To an apartment?”.
“Yes”.
“Here?”.
“In Midgard, yes”.
“But like, in New York?”.
“Wherever you want, actually”.
You stayed silent for a few seconds, and Loki grew nervous again. You couldn’t help but laugh. He looked at you quizzically, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that… a God just fell down the sky and told me to move in with you”, you clarified, which didn’t actually clarify anything.
“You… what?”.
“Yes, I’d love to move in with you, love”.
And in no time you were already packing things up and going together on apartment huntings.
Tony insisted on helping you out himself, which was hilarious, given the repulsion he had for the idea in the first place. So, you’d go to an apartment by yourself, check it out and talk to the owner for a bit; Loki would arrive later, tensing things up (the owners would usually recognize him, but after a little chat they’d find out he’s a fine man), and then, just after you’d be all calm and good, the owners would see in the papers you’re a Stark, and tense up even more. Easier to say, it wasn’t a normal neighborhood chat.
You had finally decided on a small but very cozy apartment near Central Park; far enough from the Stark Tower, but you could get there pretty quickly for every mission.
You found the place advertised on the papers, and when you showed it to Loki, in sickness and all, you insisted on going to visit it that same day.
“My love, my dearest… you need to rest. I’m afraid you might faint again”, he cooed, trying to get you back to bed.
“A little fever won’t do anything to me, really, I’m f…”, you said, but you felt like vomiting, so you stopped your words and sat on the floor. Loki sat by your side and rubbed your back.
“If you feel better tomorrow, we go, yes? Now, come on, I’m gonna call Banner and you wait on your bed”.
“No, but they might take it, we need to go to make sure…”.
“What about I go, call you on one of those animated images, and you can see it from here?”, he proposed, helping you up. He meant a video call.
“That… sounds about right”.
But you had no actual time to have that video call, for when he was in the apartment, Banner was delivering some more important news.
You’ve been to the examination’s room of the compound before. But this time it seemed brighter. The lights shone so strongly, you had to close your eyes a little.
“What would you like to do about it?”, asked Banner. You were sobbing and trembling.
“I… I don’t know, I’m sure Loki will leave me”.
“What? No, don’t base your decision on that guy’s opinion”.
“Well, I don’t want the kid to not have a father, you know?”, you said as he gave you a tissue. “I want to have it, I’ve always wanted a kid. I think I’m… ready? I’m probably not. Not by myself, and I can’t do this alone. He’ll leave me, won’t he? Why would he want to have a kid with a mortal? We’d die as fast as he blinks”.
“Look, I’m no one to talk about it, but this sounds more like your anxiety and less like something he would do. He really loves you, he has for like at least a year, and I don’t see that going away anytime soon”.
“I know. You might be right”.
“You’re allowed to doubt everything. This is a huge thing, y/n. Think this through, talk to people, talk to your friends, or your parents. Don’t let this eat you”.
“Thanks, Bruce. You’re really… you’re being really nice, I appreciate it”, you sobbed. He handed you another tissue as he rubbed your shoulder.
“This is your call, okay? You have time to think. Text me later how you’re feeling, and have bed rest now. And if you feel too bad, take this”, he handed you some pills, “it should be innocuous for the baby”.
One of those days, that same week, you had decided to make it the official moving day. So, you put every box in the van and drove through the city, to your new home. You haven’t told Loki yet what you knew, and you were terrified he’d get even more upset because you didn’t tell him before the moving. But, to be fair, you didn’t think he’d actually leave.
You had told no one about it, despite Banner’s indications. But it wasn’t eating you. You were enjoying it silently. You were glad; you had your doubts, fears… Hell, you were terrified. But you knew, if Loki wasn’t going to be a part of that, you could do it yourself. You hoped he’d wanted to, though.
Loki and you had started taking the boxes inside, all by hand (to be honest, he was a little scared of the neighbours watching him do things with magic and kicking you two out). You laughed through it, and played races to see who’d finish their boxes first. He was wearing one of those midgardians shirts and pants that melted you completely. He wore that for your anniversary dinner the week before that day, and he noticed how much you loved it on him, so he started wearing fancy casual clothes more often than not.
After about two hours, you were done and completely exhausted. You laid in the middle of the wooden floor, surrounded by boxes and a strong smell of floorwax and fresh paint, and looked at each other fondly.
“Welcome home”, you said, and he showed you the biggest smile he’s ever done.
“I think this place is perfect. It’s away, but not exactly far from your family for whenever you’d want to be with them”.
“Yes, it’s perfect”, you said, getting up and helping him up. “You know, I have a surprise for you”.
“Really? What is it?”.
“Tonight at dinner, shall we? In the meantime, what about we get something to drink before unpacking?”.
“Can’t wait for tonight, then. Would you like some tea?”, he said, surrounding your waist with his arms. You played gently with his hair.
“Yes”.
“I love you”, he said, giving you a small peck over your smile.
“And I love…”, you started saying, but the entrance got filled with noisy people, interrupting you. Four of your friends were already filling the place, giving you an idea of how a small party would fit in there. “... you”.
“Oh my God! This place is so well illuminated!”, said Wanda, marveled.
“And what’s that smell? Have you been cooking something weird?”, said Nat, less enthusiastic, but equally curious. Sam and Bucky were still on the door, and Sam seemed to have brought food. Like a cake, or something similar. Wanda and Natasha were quick to invade the place without further notice.
“Oh, you got one of those hidden drawers! What are you hiding in there?”.
“Probably sex toys”, guessed Nat.
“I’d say drugs. But, like, alien drugs. You know, from his town”, apported Bucky, now making his way in and leaving the cake over the counter.
“I thought drawers were supposed to be for clothes”, said Sam, rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, but hidden drawers? Sexy clothes”.
“Actually, I’m saving my daggers in there”, finally said Loki, kissing your cheek before pulling away from you, and appearing a cup of tea in each guest with a movement of his wrist.
“Boring”.
“So, guys, what do you think?”, you said as you started opening one of the boxes.
“I think it’s small”, said Tony, as he walked in. Pepper rolled her eyes behind him.
“Don’t listen to him, you guys chose perfectly. This place will look very nice once you paint it and decorate it”.
“It’s already painted”.
“Oh. Well, it… it looks nice”.
“Thanks mom”, you chuckled. “It’s small but we don’t need it to be big”.
“You better be actually saving daggers in here”, Tony peeped inside the hidden drawer. “Now that is not so hidden. I wouldn’t like to open it up someday and find a…”.
“Dad, please”, you rolled your eyes and went to Loki’s side. “Don’t worry, you won’t find anything weird. Just the daggers and knives of my very innocent boyfriend”.
“Well, you’ll have to think further about having knives so close to the floor, you know”, he muttered. Loki furrowed his eyebrows.
“Why?”.
Tony ignored him and walked to you earnestly, with the most serious face expression you’ve ever seen, and everyone observed quietly. He grabbed you by the shoulders, and inhaled a deep breath. All of the sudden, his eyes got watery, and you realized Banner had told him about the pregnancy. Your heart beat so fast you thought you’d faint again, right there. The corners of his lips formed a tiny smile, and he hugged you tightly. Loki was certainly confused now. As far as he knew, Tony didn’t like him, and why would he be so happy about you moving out? It’s not like you were his only child, either.
“I’m so proud of you”, he whispered, and then Loki had the feeling he wasn’t talking about the new apartment, but didn’t ask any further.
That night you managed to cook something special, even though you still hadn’t gotten the gas installed. You cooked together, and laughed at every minor inconvenience the house could give you. The doors of the countertop cabinets were the perfect height for Loki’s 6’4” ass to stump his head every time he tried to open it.
After some time of silent cooking, absorbed on each’s thoughts, Loki asked about your dad’s pride.
“Oh, he’s… well, he just, gets very emotional with these things”. He chuckled at your very obvious lie.
“No, he doesn’t. Certainly not with me”.
“Come on, he likes you now. He likes anyone I love, because you make me happy, and because he has no other choice”.
“Well… I thought he’d be less amused”, he admitted. “Hasn’t he? Other choice, I mean”.
“I don’t think so. He’d have to deal. Family is family”.
“Oh, do I know about that”, he said, cutting a carrot more strongly than before. You laughed.
“I meant it in a good way”.
“Well, your family is one thing, mine is another… I can’t push yours to like me, as much as I would like to. They’re very nice, and I wish I had a family like that, but I don’t”.
“Love, family is built”, you said, this time a little more serious. He repressed a smile, still looking at the vegetables. “You’re part of this, too, you know?”.
“Of this?”.
“You’re family”.
He didn’t repress the smile this time.
“You’re right. You’re my family, too, my love”.
“You…”, you took a deep breath. It was the perfect moment. “Do you ever imagine us in the future?”.
“Why yes, of course”.
“Really?”.
“I want to spend all your life with you. I didn’t want to rush into things because… I don’t know, scaring you out of anything, but I…”, he said, and the alarm on your phone went off, to take the rice from the fridge. You two laughed at how mundane this conversation seemed. “But I love you, and I want you by my side”.
“Okay. Well I do too. That’s good, right? That’s good”.
“Yes, of course it’s good, why so doubtful?”, he laughed, grabbing a tomato and stabbing it.
“Because I’m pregnant”.
“Yeah”, he chuckled, without actually realizing what you just said. And then, he fell. “Hold on, what did you just say?”.
“I’m… I’m having a baby. Yours, of course”, you clarified. You felt like you had to, but it wasn’t actually necessary. Silence filled the kitchen.
“Oh dear” he paused. He left the knife over the counter and looked at you, looking for any trace of a joke. You weren’t joking, and you grew nervous as he let time pass by without saying a word. “How could you not tell me this before moving in?”, he muttered, still in a bit of a shock.
“Oh. Well… I…”.
“I wouldn’t have let you carry those heavy boxes, love, I’m so sorry”, he said, and cupped your cheeks. “Are you really…?”. You sighed in relief. For a moment you thought of the worse.
“Yes, I am”.
His arms embraced you completely, hugging you as tight as he allowed himself to. He muttered how much he loved you, and how happy you had just made him, for the rest of his life.
Later that night, as you laid in bed, he cuddled you from behind with his hands on your tummy and his lips on your bare shoulder. You could feel his soft breathing grazing your skin, and his warmth keeping you safe.
“Loki”, you whispered, checking if he was still awake. You couldn’t sleep.
“Yes, love?”, he whispered back.
“Are you sure you want to be a daddy? With me?”.
He turned you around, and lowered his head to your abdomen. He sank his face and kissed all around your stomach and hips, leaving a trace of kisses up to your neck, and then your lips.
“How could I not?”, he whispered in a low voice. Burying his nose in the crook of your neck, teased “besides, the word daddy comes out so well from your lips”.
You laughed softly, and after some more silence that was fairly filled with loving stares, a thought crossed his head and you saw the light of his eyes turn to dark.
“What is it, love?”, you put a strand of his hair behind an ear.
“I… I’m just realizing something bad”, he said, and you nodded. “I’m a Frost Giant”.
“Why is it bad?”.
“My actual form is bigger than this. And… colder. And if the baby were Jötun too...”.
“You think the baby might hurt me?”.
“They might. I don’t know. Oh no, what if they hurts you?”, he began to panic, and you shushed him, kissing his temples.
“Don’t worry, Lokes. If that’s the case, we’ll figure it out”, you reassured him. “And maybe it’s not. And we’ll have a little and very healthy half-Jötun running around this small apartment. When have we not solved our issues? We’re good at that bit”.
“You’re right. You’re right, my dear”. He sighed, and then chuckled. “Should we have gotten a bigger place?”.
“We’ll be a very close family”, you laughed.
“We already are”, he whispered, cuddling back to you. “We are a very close family”.
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goldfish-gay · 3 years
Text
Now for a special episode of
I abuse the spoilers chat in a discord server: Eternals
Where I will be copying and pasting everything into this post
Quick disclaimer, we left the movie theater at 11:30 pm on my birthday, I had cried 6 times and my adhd medication was long gone. I did attempt to sleep but instead at 2 am I wrote an entire essay in the chat. Enjoy!
the way that sersi and ikaris have such a complex and emotionally charged relationship, one that shaped the plot of the movie and his actions. But the fact that in the end he doesn’t change his mind because of her, he tries to kill her he really tried, it doesn’t make him switch sides suddenly, or give up because of her, instead it brings to light how horribly he acted regardless to his stance
then phastos and his family, continues to solidify the main point to the movie, before they find him again they are all told that “he’s given up on humanity” he’s given up on people. Then it’s cut to him living a normal life, with his husband and his son, the way that he talks about his family and how much they mean to him, the fact that his entire character arch isn’t about being gay, it’s not a developing relationship, it’s two people in love in the most human way you can be, once again pushing the idea that humanity was the pushing point in this system, rhat these complex emotions and relationships fhe eternals have formed are as a result of earth and it’s inhabitants
not to mention how durigs speech early in the movie is gonna live in my head, about the fact that having to watch people at war with each other for centuries, watching the good parts of humanity easily be over taken by greed and by the horrible acts of others, how it ruins a person after so many centuries knowing he has the ability to stop it to save some of the good but the fact that he is not alowed to that it’s for some reason against a rule. And it’s the reason he’s the first to leave the first to walk away from them once their “mission is done” I absolutely love him and his character because in the most basic sense he’s technically almost an anti hero, his characterization is so similar to late loki and Bucky. But he’s not a villain, yet he’s still technically the “cruel” one of the group despite being the most vocal against their inebilety to effect human events. He so openly Cary’s his heart on is sleeve, and how he acts with mekkari, mf calls her beautiful beautiful mekkari twice, the fact that she’s very similar to him in the way that she is so openly caring, just how they radiate comfort when they are together
Durig is morally grey in his actions, how he took control of a village for so long. His inentions are not morally grey on the other hand. Then with ikaris he’s morally grey in the sense that he is doing what he believes is the best, he genuinely believes that the correct side of this fight is to let the world function as it’s meant to, to him it’s a system that’s been followed for who knows how long, it’s the natural order. He sees it as business, the sacrifice of one planet for hundreds others he doesn’t understand what is so different this time around.
He is a square. He’s all hard edges and literal. He is such a square He is all hard edges and literal He believes the world works in one way and refuses to except change or challenge in those ideas Unlike the others he’s not blindly following this faith, this greater power. And also unlike the others he doesn’t seem to be changed by humanity, he definitely has been with his inability to kill sersi, to hurt a person he loves so dearly, he also feels regret and guilt for the actions he takes in order to continue to follow their “purpose” which is to my guess something that’s new to them
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dailylogyn · 3 years
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Logyn Meta: Loki & Sigyn’s Family in Myth and Marvel (Comparison)
Photo Source: https://www.deviantart.com/youkai-no-shimo/art/Colouring-LOKI-s-FAMILY-260392721
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The family that is ready to begin Ragnarok in order to defend your honor. It’s a tragic tale, but family is something worth fighting for!
Follow me as we explore this crazy, wonderful family that is probably the most famous of the Myth’s. 
We may not know much about Sigyn’s side, but Loki’s side is one that legends are made of. 
From the Norse Myths, to Marvel Comics and the MCU, we will see the similarities and differences for each member in the different universes as well as learn facts about each one and why they are important. 
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Laufey (or Nál) - Loki’s Mother 
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
She is Loki’s Mother in Mythology.
Mostly mentioned by the matronymic, “Loki Laufeyjarson” meaning: Loki Laufey’s Son.
Her name (Laufey) is typically thought to mean leaves/foilage. Nal means Needle. 
Not much is known about her. We don’t even know if she was a Goddess, human or giant so it is assumed Loki gets his godhood from her. 
In the poem Sörla þáttr, Nál and Laufey are portrayed as the same person: "She was both slender and weak, and for that reason she was called Nál [Needle]." 
Laufey is listed among Ásynjar (goddesses) in one of the þulur, an ancestry that perhaps led her son Loki to be "enumerated among the Æsir", as Snorri Sturluson puts it in Gylfaginning.
Related to nature like forests and leaves.
MARVEL COMICS (Earth 616)
Laufey is Loki’s Father in this universe. 
As Loki was born small, a motive of embarrassment for his parents, his existence was kept a secret.
A younger Loki sends Laufey into a fateful battle between Odin, leading the All-Father to claim Loki as a son. Laufey was left for dead, wounded, but alive, leaving a future Loki to kill him. 
A group of Frost Giants try to revive Laufey by retrieving his skull. It ends with Malekith performing a spell to resurrect King Laufey. 
Laufey hates Loki and thinks of him as a disgrace
It ends with Loki killing his father again after he tries to steal the Casket of Winters and kill Frigga. 
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (MCU)
Same as Marvel Comics Counterpart. Appears in the first Thor movie. 
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Fárbauti - Loki’s Father
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
He is Loki’s Father in Mythology. 
Attested in the Prose Edda and in Kennings of Viking Age Skalds.
A Jotunn
The Old Norse name Fárbauti has been translated as 'dangerous striker','anger striker',or 'sudden-striker'.
Related to lightning
MARVEL COMICS (Earth 616)
Mother of Loki in this universe.
Gave birth to an unusually small child to the annoyance of her husband.
It is said the night Loki was born that she stabbed her own heart with an ice dagger, but Loki suspects Laufey is the one who killed her. 
Appears as a figment taken on by a parasite. She’s mostly deceased in the comics. 
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (MCU)
Does not appear or have a reference in the MCU
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Loki Laufeyjarson - Son of Laufey & Farbauti. Lover of Sigyn & Angrboda (and many others honestly)
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
Everyone already knows the tales about Loki, so I won’t repeat it all again. It’s pretty lengthy. I’ll just point down the basics for him with it. 
He’s famous for causing trouble among the gods as the Trickster and God of Mischief. Not a bad guy, but misinterpreted that way, although he can be a dick too. Despite how much he causes trouble for them, he also helps them out of situations too. He just wants to have fun, even if he takes it overboard at times.
Some sources put as Jotun and some say he is Half-Jotun, Half-Aesir (on his mother’s side.) 
A well-known Shapeshifter who can be anything: Salmon, Male, Female, Horse. The list just goes on. 
A really handsome being who loved to get it on. *finger guns*
Blood Brother’s with Odin. How? We don’t know. It’s interpreted as a friendship or foster-brothers. It’s unclear really.
Gonna start Ragnarok for valid reasons honestly after having his entire family taken away from him or killed by the Gods. #TeamLoki
MARVEL COMICS (Earth 616)
Far too many appearances to document here from 1942 to present. There has been some retcons as well with the fact the current Loki has been reborn in a new incarnation also known as Ikol.
In the comics Loki is the adopted son of Odin and Frigga and Adoptive brother to Thor & Balder. 
He’s depicted as being the God of Evil in the classic comics serval times. In fact, it’s one of his titles. 
Depending on the writer for the classic comics, Loki can have moments of humanity, but all around he causes trouble.
Just wants to rule Asgard and get rid of Thor who is his enemy. 
He’s honestly a bad guy most of the time in the classic comics #VillianTrope
I personally have yet to read any current comics of Loki that aren’t the classics so this is where my knowledge and research stops. 
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (MCU)
First off, Tom Hiddleston as Loki is just *chefs kiss* perfection. 
Pretty much the same as comics except for the fact he isn’t really a villain. He plays tricks on people for fun and laughs and truly cares about his family. 
However, things change when he discovers the truth that he is a Jotun and has been lied to about it his whole life despite being told countless stories of how Jotun’s are monsters to be slain (You fucked up a perfectly good kid, Odin. Look, he has anxiety and trauma.) 
He develops major identity problems on top of others things, but despite it, Loki tries to still do best by his family as he wants to belong. Yes, he becomes a villain in The Avengers movie, but not for the hell of it. #Thanos
Honestly, he just deserves better. That’s where this leads. Thank you.
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Angrboda - Loki’s Consort/Lover (Fenrir, Jormungandr & Hel’s Mother)
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
She is only mentioned once in the Poetic Edda as the mother of Fenrir by Loki. The Prose Edda describes her as "a giantess in Jotunheim" and as the mother of three monsters: the wolf Fenrir, the Midgard serpent Jörmungand, and the ruler of the dead Hel.
A Jotun known as Mother of Monsters and Giantess of Ironwood. 
In Old Norse, Angrboda means: 'the one who brings grief', 'she-who-offers-sorrow', or 'harm-bidder'.
According to scholars, the name Angrboða is probably a late invention dating from no earlier than the 12th century, although the tradition of the three monsters born of Loki and a jötunn may be of a higher age.
Some scholars say she was a very powerful witch and that she had the ability to see into the future. She was confined to Hel and would not be released from the realm of the dead until Loki was unbound.
In some versions of the Myth’s she knows her children will bring about the end of the world (Ragnarok) as well as being a witch set on fire three times before Loki eats her heart. 
MARVEL COMICS (Earth 616)
A giantess of Jotunheim and a Witch.
Born to Elderspawn Vârcolac and Echidna.
She mated with Loki and gave birth to Fenrir and Jormungadr. Legends say she also gave birth to Hela, but it seems to be nothing more but legends. 
Angrboda died of unknown causes and was sent to the Underworld of Hel. 
When Thor needed to know how to get to Hela's realm because she had been taking mortals to Niffleheim, he went to the Hlidskjalf and summoned Angerboda from the underworld, forcing her to tell him how to get there. Once she revealed to Thor the path he had to follow, she tried to take him with her to the underworld.
Only has one appearance in the comics -- Thor #360 (1985)
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (MCU)
Does not appear or have a reference in the MCU
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Sleipnir - Loki’s Son
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
Attested in the Poetic and Prose Edda. In both Sleipnir is Odin's eight-legged steed and child of Loki by Svaðilfari. He is described as the best of all horses.
The Prose Edda contains extra information saying he is grey. 
Old Norse meaning: Slippy or the Slipper. 
Sleipnir is also mentioned in a riddle found in the 13th century legendary saga Hervarar saga ok Heiðreks, in the 13th-century legendary saga Völsunga saga as the ancestor of the horse Grani, and book I of Gesta Danorum, written in the 12th century by Saxo Grammaticus, contains an episode considered by many scholars to involve Sleipnir. Sleipnir is generally accepted as depicted on two 8th century Gotlandic image stones: the Tjängvide image stone and the Ardre VIII image stone.
Scholarly theories have been proposed regarding Sleipnir's potential connection to shamanic practices among the Norse pagans.
Sleipnir was born when Loki shape-shifted into a mare and became pregnant by the stallion of a giant, as is recounted in the tale of The Fortification of Asgard.
MARVEL COMICS (Earth 616)
There are two different origins for Sleipnir in the comics: 1. Thor fighting off an army of the undead on Midgard. He promised to help as long as his horses weren’t eaten, however, Thor was betrayed and took his horses remains back to Asgard, coupling it with Asgardian Magic to create Sleipneir. 2. Loki had hastily agreed to let a Frost Giant re-build the wall around Asgard, in exchange for the Moon, the Sun, and Freya, only he had to do it in six months. The Frost Giant had only asked to use his grey stallion, Svadilfari. Right as the last brick was about to be placed, Loki transformed into a beautiful white mare, and lured Svadilfari off. Loki later gave birth to Sleipnir. (Just like in the Myths.) 
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (MCU)
Odin’s eight-legged steed. 
Sleipnir’s origins are unknown. He appears in the first Thor Movie. 
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Fenrir Wolf - Loki & Angrboda’s Son
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
Attested in the Prose and Poetic Edda as the first son of the Jotun couple. He is a wolf destined to kill Odin. So, they bind and seal him when he's still young, with Tyr losing his arm in the process. When Ragnarok comes, he indeed kills Odin, but is killed by Odin's son Vidar in return.
Fenrir is the father of the wolves Sköll and Hati Hróðvitnisson. 
In the Prose Edda, additional information is given about Fenrir, including that, due to the gods' knowledge of prophecies foretelling great trouble from Fenrir and his rapid growth, the gods bound him, and as a result Fenrir bit off the right hand of the god Týr.
No chain can hold him, except for Gleipnir, a rope made by Dwarves containing the roots of a mountain, the breath of a fish, the sound of a cat's footfall, the sinews of a bear, the beard of a woman and the spittle of a bird, all of which were impossible items to obtain.
MARVEL COMICS (Earth 616)
Pretty much the same as his Mythos with some additional storylines. 
When Raganrok happened, Fenrir was reborn with the other gods on the New Asgard universe on Midgard. No details of his fate on Earth have been revealed.
Fenrir helped the mutant Wolfsbane as she was carrying the child of one of his descendants. 
It is one of the few individuals believed to be more powerful, or equally as powerful, as Dormammu; the others being galactic entities like The Beyonder.
Fenrir is Genderfluid in the comics. 
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (MCU)
Fenris is a giant Asgardian Wolf who serves under Hela and is portrayed as Female. She resurrects her as they take over Asgard. 
Instead of being her brother, Fenris is her loyal companion and mount. 
Fenris ends up getting into a fight against Hulk as he pushes her off, sending her falling into the void below to her supposed death. 
Appears in Thor: Ragnarok. 
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Hel - Loki & Angrboda’s Daughter
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
Attested in the Prose and Poetic Edda. She is a giantess/goddess who resides over the Underworld that is also called Hel, a place where many of the dead reside. She is the daughter of Loki and Angrboda, sister to Fenrir and Jormungandr and usually depicted as the youngest of the three.
Goddess of Death and Graves and ruler of Hel who welcomes the souls of those who died of old age, disease or by accident.
Hel is described as having been appointed by the god Odin as ruler of a realm of the same name, located in Niflheim.
The Prose Edda details that Hel rules over vast mansions with many servants in her underworld realm and plays a key role in the attempted resurrection of the god Baldr.
Old Norse Name Meaning: Hidden
She’s mostly mentioned only in passing. Snorri describes her appearance as being half-black, half-white, and with a perpetually grim and fierce expression on her face.
MARVEL COMICS (Earth 616)
Renamed Hela in the comics.
Allegedly the daughter of Loki and Angrboda, but it’s never made clear or stated. Hela's genealogy is the subject of controversies and retellings. 
Her path pretty much follows her Mythos where she is destined to do terrible things and Odin makes her the ruler over the dead in the realms of Hel and Niflheim until maturity. 
At some point, she was considered the daughter of Odin and of a long-lost goddess.
Honestly, she usually tries to expand her powers, wanting to rule over Vahalla and obtain Asgardian souls. 
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (MCU):
Appears in Thor: Ragnarok as Odin’s firstborn and only daughter. Sister to Thor and Loki.
Kinda pissed her dad locked her away and wants to rule Asgard and take revenge.
The cause of Ragnarok and supposedly dies on Asgard after everything is said in done in the movie.
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Jormungandr - Loki & Angrboda’s Son
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
Usually depicted as the middle child of Loki and Angrboda, he is known as the Midgard Serpent or World Serpent who is a giant snake. When Odin takes Loki’s kids away from him, he tosses Jormungadr into the ocean that encircles Midgard. The serpent grew so large that is was able to surround the Earth and grasp it’s own tail. When it releases it’s tail, Ragnarok will begin and he will fight his arch-enemy, Thor. 
The major sources for myths about Jörmungandr are the Prose Edda, the skaldic poem Húsdrápa, and the Eddic poems Hymiskviða and Völuspá. Other sources include the early skaldic poem Ragnarsdrápa and kennings in other skaldic poems; for example, in Þórsdrápa, faðir lögseims, "father of the sea-thread", is used as a kenning for Loki. There are also several image stones depicting the story of Thor fishing for Jörmungandr.
MARVEL COMICS (Earth 616)
Both Loki and Angerboda were descended from the Frost Giants of Jotunheim and were of humanoid appearance; however, the sons Angerboda bore Loki, Jormungand and the Fenris Wolf, did not. It has been suggested that Jormungand and the Fenris Wolf were born as sentient animals because their parents each had the magical ability to change his or her own shape. Hence, Jormungand and the Fenris Wolf each bear the form of the animal that their parents had assumed at the moment they were conceived.
Jormungandr follows the same as his Mythos to a certain degree with his fate to fight Thor during Ragnarok as the God of Thunder would die from his venom. 
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (MCU)
Does not appear or have a reference in the MCU
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Sigyn - Loki’s Wife
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
Sadly, not many stories that have Sigyn in them have survived to this day. She is only attested in the followings works: Poetic Edda & Prose Edda. 
The most famous of her story tells of how Loki has been bound by the gods with the guts of his son, Nari, and how his son, Vari, has been turned into a wolf. The Goddess Skadi fastens a venomous snake over Loki’s face, from which venom drips. Sigyn, stated as Loki’s wife, stays by his side and holds a basin under and catches the venom so it won’t drip onto her husband, but when the basin grows full, she pulls it away to empty it, during which time venom drops onto Loki, causing him to wither so violently that earthquakes occur that shake the entire earth.
In the poem, Gylfaginning, Sigyn is introduced in Chapter 31 as being married to Loki and that they have a son by the name of “Narfi or Nari”. She is then mentioned again in Chapter 50 where events are described differently than in Lokasenna; Vali, described as a son of Loki only, is changed into a wolf by the gods and rips apart his brother, “Narfi or Nari.” The guts of Nari are then used to tie Loki to three stones, after which the guts turn to iron, and Skadi places a snake above Loki. Sigyn of course catches the venom in a bowl. This process is repeated until he breaks free, setting Ragnarok into motion.
In the poem, Skáldskaparmál, Sigyn is introduced as a goddess, an Æsir, where the gods are holding a feast for their visitors and in kennings for Loki: “husband of Sigyn” and “cargo [Loki] of incantation-fetter’s [Sigyn’s] arms.”
Old Norse Name meaning: Victory Girlfriend. 
MARVEL COMICS (Earth 616)
Lonely and looking for female companionship, Loki ends up coming across Sigyn and plans to make her his. However, she is already engaged to a warrior of Odin’s Crimson Hawks -- Theoric. Hence, Loki sets up a trap to have Theoric killed during a mission so Loki can disguise himself as Theoric. Once they are wed, Loki reveals himself and despite Odin attempting to annul the marriage (which goes against Asgardian Law)), Sigyn tells the Allfather that she will follow the duties of a loyal wife since she is Loki’s now. 
This is when Odin proclaims her to be the Goddess of Fidelity. This was a thing first started by the Marvel Comics.
Sigyn doesn’t have much of an agency in the comics except being a loyal wife to Loki, sometimes going along with his plans or getting on him for it. 
I personally haven’t been able to find any evidence of Sigyn’s parents being Iwaldi and Freya in the comics, so I’m not sure if this fact is Fanon or not. 
Sigyn has suddenly seemed to vanish from the comics with her last official appearance being in 1996. It has been allueded at that she died or was killed during Ragnarok. 
Her relationship with Loki in the comics is...complicated and changes a lot depending on the writer. 
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (MCU)
Does not appear or have a reference in the MCU
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Narvi/Narfi & Vali - Loki & Sigyn’s Sons
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
Not much is known about Narfi and Vali except for being Loki & Sigyn’s sons with Vali being transformed into a wolf by the gods and killing his brother whose inners are used as a chain to bind Loki in the cave. 
Narfi and Vali are referred to in a number of sources. According to the Gylfaginning section of Snorri Sturluson's Prose Edda, he was also called Nari and was killed by his brother Váli, who was transformed into a wolf; in a prose passage at the end of the Eddic poem "Lokasenna", Váli became a wolf and his brother Nari was killed.
Snorri also names "Nari or Narfi" as the son of Loki and his wife Sigyn earlier in Gylfaginning, and lists "father of Nari" as a heiti for Loki in the Skáldskaparmál section of his work.
Narfi’s name could mean “Corpse” in Old Norse, relating to how he was killed by his brother. 
There's no mention of what became of Vali after he became a wolf.
MARVEL COMICS (Earth 616)
Narvi never makes an appearance in the comics and is only mentioned in: Free Comics Book Day Vol 2018 Avengers. 
There is a Vali in the comics called Vali Halfling. He is the son of loki and a unnamed mortal woman. So, I don’t consider this to be the same Vali that is the son of Loki and Sigyn. 
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (MCU)
Does not appear or have a reference in the MCU
_________________________________________________
Thanks for reading everyone. This required a bunch of research, but I hope this helps and has been educational. We only have what we can work with considering the surviving myths, but there is so many stories out there that we don’t know of that aren’t clear because of it. 
I tried my best to cover everything I knew about them in Marvel too, but sometimes so many retcons is too much to keep up with. I know there may be some errors in places, but it’s the best I could get this with what we have to work with.
SOURCES:
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Laufey_(Earth-616)
https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/Laufey
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laufey
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fárbauti
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Farbauti_(Earth-616)
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Angerboda_(Earth-616)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angrboða
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Hela_(Earth-616)
https://norse-mythology.org/gods-and-creatures/giants/hel/
https://norse-mythology.org/gods-and-creatures/giants/jormungand/
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Jormungand_(Earth-616)
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Sleipnir_(Earth-616)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleipnir
https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/Sleipnir
https://norse-mythology.org/gods-and-creatures/giants/fenrir/
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Fenris_Wolf_(Earth-616)
https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/Fenris
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigyn
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Sigyn_(Earth-616)
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Narvi_(Earth-616)
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Vali_Halfling_(Earth-616)
https://norse-mythology.org/gods-and-creatures/the-aesir-gods-and-goddesses/loki/
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Loki_Laufeyson_(Earth-616)
https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/Loki
https://skjalden.com/narfi-and-vali/
https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/Hela
109 notes · View notes
angels-creative · 3 years
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My Masterlist <3
I’m back with a new masterlist, bitches!
Also, please note this is a master list of my written works. A master list of works I have edited and ideas I have created (my prompt masterlist!) will be posted soon.
Marvel
Irondad & Spiderson
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wildfire - He pressed the spider emblem on his chest and slid the suit off, before tossing the costume multiple feet away. 'If a body has to be found in this fire,' he thought to himself, 'it's going to be Peter Parker's. Not Spider-Man's.' / Anything to keep his friends, and Tony and May safe. (Or, Peter saves several civilians from a burning building, but isn't so lucky himself.) (IN PROGRESS)
who will catch me (when i fall)? - Peter didn't answer him. Instead, he pushed himself up on his elbows and scanned his surroundings. MJ was standing a few feet away from the two, her thumb pressed against her lip in worry, and the clock in the corner behind her read three forty-five in the afternoon. Middle of decathlon practice. They still had an hour or so left, then. / “Did I pass out?" he asked, at last. (Or, Peter passes out, and Tony is called in to play dad for a day.)
i'll stay by your side (through the lows and the highs) - "Tony can’t believe this is it. He’s survived being kidnapped in Afghanistan, and flown through a wormhole. He’s snapped the Infinity Stones and nearly died bringing back the Blipped, and yet this is how he’s gonna die; at the hands of a rabid Peter Parker." (Or, Peter contracts rabies after helping Tony clean out the Stark's basement.)
wasted years, wasted youth (pretty lies and ugly truths) - "Tony shook his head, but stayed where he was. He was pretty sure he was taking longer than five minutes, but how the hell could he think when Peter wasn’t telling him stuff like this? He was his mentor, he was his dad practically, and it was his job to take care of him. How could he do that when he didn’t have all of the information necessary?“ (Or, Tony finds out Peter’s keeping a secret. Again.)
in need of help (take away the pain that i felt) - "Natasha nods, her lips in a thin line. “I know,” she speaks, her tone nice and calm and slow. “Steve’s getting him, and we might have an ice pack in the Quinjet. Just sit tight, alright?” / Peter groans again, stars flashing in his vision and the pounding in his head getting worse. “Don’ kn’w where I’d go,” he mumbles, eyes blinking closed.” (Or, Peter falls. From forty feet up.)
got a secret (can you keep it?) - ‘“What do you mean you can’t come to the lab? This is the third weekend you’re cancelling on me, kid,” he continued. “There something I don’t know about?” / “No!” Peter squealed.’ (Or, Tony is a Worried Dad™ and Peter’s keeping a secret.)
Appreciate, Don’t Discriminate - ‘Tony’s a nice person, he thinks. He doesn’t discriminate or judge (most) people based on their actions… unless, that is, they try to kill over half the population of New York.’ (Or, a story in which Peter wants to be friends with Loki, despite all he’s done and despite what Tony thinks of him.)
Sacrifices - Peter gets shot while Spider-Manning and tries to hide it from Tony. Unfortunately, he’s never been too good at keeping secrets. (Or, Peter hides an injury from his father figure and Tony worries. A lot.)
Peter Parker/Michelle Jones (Spideychelle)
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i’ll make it okay - “Three am,” she says. “I was gonna get a glass of water, but then I saw you were having a nightmare. You doing okay?” Her eyes crinkle in concern. (Or, Peter suffers from nightmares after NWH.)
churros - “People don’t just pass out, Ned!” / “Try telling that to Peter!” (Or, Peter passes out in the middle of the cafeteria, and Ned and MJ are a little bit worried.)
everything that glitters (isn’t always gold) - “And they tried to hurt you?” Michelle asks, as she makes her way over to the bed. Peter nods in response. “What the fuck?” (Or, Michelle tries to patch Peter up after he gets hurt on patrol and finds herself in over her head.)
all’s fair in love and blood - “Got stabbed,” Peter murmurs and Michelle shakes her head, listening intently. “Some… Some guy was robbing this girl and her gran’ma, I think. Got shot.” / Michelle turns her gaze back to her boyfriend and stares at Peter in disbelief. “The grandma got shot?!” / “No..." Peter shakes his head, trying to recount the events. “Gran’ma’s fine. I got shot.” (Or, Peter accidentally reopens a wound and bleeds out in the middle of a dress rehearsal.)
remember when...? - “Peter,” she said, placing her hands on the boy’s shoulders and gently holding him at arm length. “I... You’re hurt, and I need to call someone. Do you know where your phone is?” / “I... probably blown up, or in the ocean." (Or, Michelle helps Peter after he's injured during the battle with Quentin Beck.)
any trophy i could ever get (doesn’t compare to the light in your eyes) - “Ned swallows and glances up at her, before his eyes fall back to his feet. “He’s not coming today, MJ, he’s sick. He came down with the chicken pox this morning.” / “Bullshit,” she shoots back. “You and I both know he can’t get sick. Why are you lying?”” (Or, Peter gets sick for the first time after Far From Home, and Michelle thinks he’s lying. Hint: he’s not.)
three words i'm not ready to say (‘i’ and ‘love’ and ‘you’) - ‘Michelle laughed. “I think I kinda do, nerd. Someone has to make sure you don’t die or do some stupid shit while you’re sick.”’ (Or, an uncomfortable Michelle has to take care of a sick Peter, six months into their relationship, and almost gets scared away in the process.)
An Empty Web - ‘Day 1, and Peter’s absent from class. Day 5, and Michelle learns the last time he was seen. Day 7, and she learns he was taken; kidnapped; torn from the people closest to him. Week 3, and he’s found.’ (Or, Peter gets kidnapped during his senior year. This is the story, and aftermath of that, from Michelle’s point of view.) 
Peter Parker & Ned Leeds
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hasn’t he suffered enough? - Ned sighs. He looks down to his shoes, to the tiled floorboards, and runs his hands through his hair. "If he wasn't bitten by that spider," he whispers, "he wouldn't have to go through this shit." / (Or, an alternate ending to Spider-Man: NWH. Peter passes out after the final battle on Liberty Island, and Strange, Ned, and MJ get him medical attention.)
No Doubts About it - ‘Peter’s hands claw loosely at his throat, which is now oddly beginning to feel like it’s being constricted. There’s a tightness in his chest, in his lungs, and it feels bad, awful even, but he still tries his best to explain it to Ned. “C’n’t bre’the,” he squeaks.’ (Or, it’s hard having a superhero for a best friend. Good thing Ned knows how to deal with it.)
always here for you, dude - “Are you sure we shouldn’t call a doctor? Because there’s one down the hall and this seems like a pretty big deal, Peter.” (Or, Peter goes to Ned to get fixed up after Homecoming. Ned doesn’t know anything about medical attention, but tries his best anyway.)
Peter Parker & Flash Thompson
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Flash Thompson, First Aid Extraordinaire - Just barely managing to stumble through, Peter had all but a second before his knees buckled and he fell face-first into the rug beneath him. Breathing heavily, he could feel someone placing a hand on his shoulder, someone turning him over, but his eyes had already started to shut and he couldn't figure out who it was. / "Parker?" he heard, before he lost consciousness. "What the f—?" (Or, Peter tries to get help after being injured on patrol, and accidentally reveals his identity in the process.)
Peter Parker & May Parker
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Punk in Love - "But Maaaay!" Peter protests. He sits up in bed, cheeks flushed and hair fluffy and tangled. "MJ and I have Valentine's plans! I was gonna take her swinging around the city!" / (Or, Peter gets sick on Valentine's Day, and May takes care of him.)
The Waiting Game - ‘At first, May didn’t think much of it when Peter refused to open his eyes. It was just a few days after Mysterio revealed his identity to the world and, while they were promised things were going to be alright, it was also still a little hectic, nerve-wracking, and exhausting. That is probably why she didn’t sense anything was wrong until it was almost too late.’ (Or, a whumpy what-if of FFH’s mid-credits scene.)
Peter Parker & Happy Hogan
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A Shove in the Wrong Direction - Happy finds out Peter is being bullied. Needless to say, he is not ‘happy’ about it. (Or, Peter has a lot of Dads™️ now.)
Teen Wolf
Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski (Sciles)
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what can i do (but watch over you?) - “The sedative isn’t working! Don’t you hear him?”  (Or, Scott gets injected with wolfsbane by Ethan and Aiden in the middle of a fight, and Stiles worries for his life)
Stiles Stilinski & Malia Tate-Hale
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oh, child (things’ll get brighter) - "He hadn’t meant to kill him! Honestly! He didn’t even want to, promised himself that he’d never kill anyone or even try to after all the trouble with the Nogitsune. If he could have found another way out, he would’ve taken that option instead. But he didn't, and now Donovan was dead and Scott wasn't talking to him." (Or, after Scott and Stiles fight in 5x09, Stiles seeks comfort in the only person who may be able to relate.)
Tales of Arcadia
Jim Lake Jr/Claire Nuñez (Jlaire)
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telling them - “He was the Trollhunter. He was the one the amulet chose, and he was the one everyone looked to when things went awry. He was the one who was leading the team, and he was the one who led his friend to their death. / If he couldn’t have brought them home, then he should have at least been the one to tell their family why they weren't coming home.” (Or, Jim remembers his mom mentioning the hypothetical question of what he'll tell Toby and Claire's families if there's a day when they don't come home. He just didn't expect that day to be today.)
taglist: @goldenavenger02 @spideyspeaches @lostintranslaation @skylikesyou @queerintimeandspace @the-panwitch @rejectofsociety @lunannex
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chiizuburger · 3 years
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Let's talk about the series Giri/Haji (2019) aka the most underrated series in Netflix
I literally just finished Giri/Haji and I need to talk about it. Because I don't think I've ever been this...in love with a series since ever.
First things first, I'mma share a little bit how I learned about the series:
I became obsessed with Sophia di Martino after seeing her in Loki, and like anyone with a heart, I looked through her IMDB to find where else can I see her?!
And I stumbled upon Flowers, which is an equally phenomenal series also available in Netflix, and I discovered Will Sharpe.
And lemme tell ya, he's a beautiful piece of mankind and I learned that not only did he write and direct and act in Flowers, but he is also the lucky husband of Sophia.
Then I saw that Will won a BAFTA for his role in Giri/Haji. Learned that it was also in Netflix and a week later (because I wanted to savor it), here we are.
Okay. No-spoiler thoughts first.
If you dig detective series and/or British series and/or Japanese drama, this delicious piece of bilingual media is for you.
If you love the whole "found family" premise, this is for you.
Off the bat, Will's character Rodney is the clear scene stealer of this series. Right from the first episode, you just know you're gonna love him and wanna give him all the love he sorely needs.
I adore that Kenzo isn't written as a macho detective lead. He allows himself to be vulnerable and isn't afraid to get in touch with his emotions.
Of course, as the Japanese man he is, it takes time for him to accept his emotions, but I'm happy he doesn't resort to anger or self-pity to deal with them.
I love how all the women--and I mean all of the women characters--are strong-willed and unapologetic and flawed and fierce and I-will-stab-you-in-the-legs-if-you-grope-me energy. All of em. They take no bull shit and I respect that.
It is particularly nice to see that kind of energy with Japanese women, who are often written as innocent and demure and pure.
My most favorite aspects of this series is its cinematography, its editing, and its storytelling.
The various ways it uses cinematic language and different forms of media to highlight important moments of the story really makes the series a well-crafted show.
My favorite episodes are Episode 3, 4, and 6.
Episode 4 was particularly memorable. It is one of the best flashback episodes I've ever seen and it deepens our perspective of every main character.
My favorite sequence comes in both Episode 6 and Episode 8, the finale.
Despite getting recognized by BAFTA, the show got cancelled after one season.
But you know what?
(Spoiler thoughts start under the cut)
I think it was a smart move to keep it a one-off drama.
Everything actually wrapped up nicely. There's one semi-loose end that I need reassurance about, which is whether Rodney and Sarah (our female lead detective) become friends again and Rodney can fully realize that he is loved by his newfound family.
Apart from that, this is one series where the semi-open ending finale trope works.
I think the whole Ian-might-rat-us-out subplot could have played out better? Or maybe it could not have played out at all? Like, maybe instead of Abbot being at the rooftop, maybe it could have been Ian?
I actually wasn't sure about how we should feel about Ian. I mean, he didn't deserve Sarah, but...he's...not...a bad...person? I mean, a sketchy detective and a bad boyfriend, yes, but it didn't fully read out to me as "don't trust him" or "stay away from him."
Because when Sarah said in the second episode that her ex was a man who did bad things "until he couldn't," I heard that as he physically abused her. Like, that shit of a man.
But...I don't know. Maybe I missed out on something.
Plus, WHO DID PUT THE SNAKE IN SARAH'S LETTER BOX? Was that some kind of sicko prank?! Did one of her neighbors have it as a pet and it accidentally went to her letterbox???
If Ian was worked for the mafia, maybe that would have worked better? Like, switch Vickers, for Ian, maybe?
Gosh, Vickers, am I right? I mean, who would have thought Justin Long would be a part of this?
ROY was a surprise. Did not expect that twist in the finale. I feel bad for him though because he was really just a bloke caught up in a sticky situation. Like, he's not a bad guy, too. He's just in a bad situation.
Huh.
It's like what Kenzo said, huh? "We're not bad people. We're just doing bad things."
Kenzo and Sarah, right? I felt like it wasn't necessary for them to get romantic, but after Episode 3 with that silent exchange, I appreciate that they went that direction.
I also appreciate that Kenzo was fully aware that he is married and Sarah was fully aware of it too. She knew it was the worst way to let light in.
And I'm glad that there was a moment between Kenzo and Rei where they allowed themselves (or at least Rei allowed Kenzo) to go off their separate ways.
I love the detail that Rei was actually in contact with Yuto and Natsuko is an badass old woman who likes to live on the edge.
The way she said, "Then we will fight" when Eiko and Rei worried about the yakuzas. I mean!
Okay, okay. I'mma back up a bit, because the reason why I thought the whole Ian subplot didn't work was because it felt like the writers eventually didn't know what to do with Rodney?
Like, why bring this kind of pain to Rodney?!
But then, you know, thinking about it as I am writing this, we all know Rodney would be with Taki and it might be Rodney who gets in trouble with Jiro.
Ahh, Jiro. That...dangerous specimen.
Glad he didn't kill Toshio.
But still, my biggest concern for the ending of this series is that we leave Rodney at such a low place.
Like, I just need to know that he needs up okay and he reunites with Sarah and Taki and all live together in London now. And Rodney's restarting his life with a better direction in life, but of course struggles with relapse?
Okay, I am seeing now where the second series could have went on. The creator said it would have been a "Rodney-Taki centric" season.
Gosh, so maybe they would have changed genre?! Aaaahhhhh! but who knows? I mean, I imagine the yakuzas are still after the Mori brothers.
But then again, Fukuhara and Endo are dead sooo...
Giri/Haji, right?! It's... It's a great piece of media.
Anyway, if you wanna talk about Giri/Haji, please feel free to send me a message!
PLEASE! Haha. Take care, y'all
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rafesgfs · 4 years
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thank u, next (ft. loki) - part two
Warnings: angst, swearing, jealousy, mentions of sex, violence
Word count: 5.7k
Summary: A mission goes wrong, leaving you stranded with the two men who despise each other, competing for your attention.
Or: In which Steve breaks up with Sharon after realizing how much he loves you, only to be put on hold while you spend time with Loki.
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Tony kept glancing at you, his eyes narrowing as if he was trying to figure out what kind of mind manipulation Loki had hexed you with. Natasha was torn between proud and shock. Clint had been positive it was a prank on his behalf until he had learned it was true, the archer studying you, wondering if you were under Loki's influence. And Bruce—well, he still couldn't get over the shock to actually word his opinion.
Steve, on the other hand, wasted no time blaming Loki, accusing him of using his magic to manipulate you into bed. When Thor has came back with news that Loki hadn't—with Heimdell being all knowing and watching—it had made Steve go to Fury, who had shown emotion on his face other than boredom and disappointment. Yet the surprise wore off and the director found it not relevant as the issue had not broken one of the rules Loki had agreed to.
The super soldier had hit the gym in a hurry, pounding the sandbag, probably wishing it was Loki. And Thor, like everyone else, it took him time to process it but unlike everyone, he barely gave it a thought. With word from Heimdell, knowing that his brother wasn't planning anything to harm you or the others, he was at peace with the situation as long as it was two consenting adults.
As you sat in the conference room, waiting for Steve and Loki to show up for the meeting, you wondered why he thought it was okay to overreact to something so...normal. People have sex, he must've known that you weren't any different. And unfortunately, Fury has picked the same day to spring a mission on the team, forcing all of you into a room, not caring about the act you committed with Loki.
Loki came in first, dressed in his usual black color, a suit almost identical to the one he wore the day before. Even from across the room, you could easily spot the hickeys he kept, a bunch peeking out from under the suit. It had given you a sense of pride and embarrassment, going down on the God of Mischief.
He caught your eye, the corner of his lips turned up, twitching without their permission. Loki wouldn't admit it out loud but he liked you to the point of sacrificing everyone in the room to save the one decent person who hadn't judge him. Everyone had turned to look at him, following his every move whilst he moved to the empty seat besides you.
The one that everyone knew was Steve's. Yet, no one said a word, secretly enjoying the show.
"Greetings," he said curtly, nodding once to everyone with an expressionless face. They all nodded back to him, Tony covering the smile that was trying to force itself on his face. Loki turned to you, sitting down in Steve seat as he gave you a smirk, amused by your attempt to cover up his marks. "Hello, angel."
The nickname alone wanted to make you want to ditch the meeting for a dick appointment with the Asgardian, the name slipping from his tongue. The same name he had whispered into you ear as he thrusted into you. Instead, you gave him a small smile, unconsciously rubbing your thighs together. "Hey."
Loki noticed the motion, his smirk widening. Pulling the chair closer to your own, his arm leaning up against yours. Leaning in, he put his lips to your ears, ignoring everyone's stares, including his brother's. "Your attempt to cover my hard work is very amusing, love."
"Loki..." you warned, using the same tone you had last night when he teased you too far, wishing for release. There was a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. "Shut up, not everyone has magic."
"All you have to do is ask, although I prefer to see them on your skin." Loki whispered, not caring how many people team members had subconsciously leaned in, straining to hear what the raven-haired God had to say.
Before you could answer, the door opened, Steve and Fury entering. The super soldier had an exhausted look on his face while Fury kept his emotionless facade up. Steve started walking towards his seat, so distracted by the uncovered hickeys on your neck to notice it had been taken. The blond did a double take, seeing Loki in his chair. If it wasn't for the barely contained anger in his eyes, you would've bursted out laughing at his comical expression.
The team stayed quiet, their eyes glued on the silent war between the two men. Loki nonchalantly looked up, his lips brushing against your hair as he pulled away, smirking at Steve. The silence was broken by Fury's tired sigh.
"Well, hello, Captain." Loki sneered, not having any intention of getting up. Steve's eyes stormed with anger, a tick away from letting loose. The God of Mischief pointed to the chair across from you, the one next to Tony, giving the super soldier a pointed look. "You should take your seat."
Tony muffled a snort at Steve's scowl, yet America's Sweetheart didn't move a muscle, glaring at Loki. Fury rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Rogers, take a seat next to Stark. Loki, stop being an asshole. Back to business."
Steve followed Fury's order, sitting down besides Tony, his angry expression turning blank, waiting for whatever Fury had to say. Yet, his eyes still looked murderous, often glancing at the lack of space between you and Loki. Tony didn't hide his amusement, biting back a laugh, and trying to focus on whatever Fury was saying while the rest of the team kept looking at Steve, expecting him to reach across the table and punch Loki back to Asgard.
"While you agents were partying, drinking all your problems away, SHIELD got a tip from an undercover agent." Fury started, sliding your folders across the table, giving you something to look at other than the tension between Steve and Loki. You opened the folder to find pictures of blood-covered bodies. "Normally, we wouldn't bring the Avengers into a mafia-related crimes but this one's different.
"The Chinese Mafia is after a USB flash drive, one that we suspect, contains secrets that could bring down the American government. Emphasis on could; SHIELD isn't that well informed on what exactly the flash drive holds." Fury continued. Looking at you, he called your name. "Along with Rogers and Laufeyson. I'm assigning the three of you on the mission. You'll get the mission details as soon as Agent Hill gets here. The rest of you are irrelevant. Everyone go away now."
He left the room before anyone could even move a muscle. The team glanced between Loki and Steve, trying to figure out what they felt. It was clear neither of them were too happy about going on a mission together but the photographs of dead bodies made them bury their resentment down, for the sake of the government and all, but mostly for your sake.
Tony cleared his throat, trying not to burst out laughing. "So, Cap—"
Steve called out your name, standing up from his seat. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone? It's urgent."
"Yeah, sure." you said, following him out the door without looking back at the rest. You didn't notice the way Loki oozed with madness, his eyes deadly. Steve led you away from the view of room, stopping in the middle of a private hallway. It was secluded enough, yet Steve kept fidgeting like someone was listening. "Steve, I know you aren't particularly fond of Loki but he's a good—"
"I broke up with Sharon." Steve blurted. You stopped talking, your mouth open from your earlier words. The blond ran a hand through his hair. "I broke up with her last night, just before the party started ... before you walked in with Loki."
"That's not what it looked like."
"I was trying to be her friend, just like I'm trying to be yours." Steve explained, almost begging. "I never got the chance to apologize for hurting you. When you came back from Asgard, it had been too long for me to even mention it without it being awkward. So, I didn't. I wanted to but you didn't want to spend time with me anymore. And that's my fault, I'm not blaming you for being hurt. I understand what I did was so selfish, and wrong. It was wrong and if I could go back in time, I would've never done it."
You closed your gaping mouth, a little surprised by the apology. Rocking back on your heels, you awkwardly looked everywhere but at him. "Okay, um, thanks?"
Dejected, Steve nodded, his head hanging from the lack of sympathy in your voice. "Yeah. I wanted you to know. That's what I was coming to tell you this morning, but instead found you in bed with .... him."
"Uh," it was all you could say. Clueless of how to respond, you started to back away slowly, like there was a bear coming towards you. "Okay. So ... I'm gonna go. Get prepared for the mission or whatever. I'll see you later."
Before he could utter another word, you walked away,  feeling completely numb by the news. There was a part of you that wanted to forgive him, another part was feeling satisfied for his pain, and the last was confused. If he had been telling the truth—breaking up with Sharon before the party—then why hadn't he told you or apologized when he came to talk to you? It made you question whether he was just jealous or genuinely sorry for hurting you.
You weren't ready to forgive him yet, not after he made you doubt your self worth. Thor had made you feel better when you had came to him, showering you with golden gifts, shoes, and brotherly love. Despite popular belief, Loki wasn't that much different than his brother. Yes, he wasn't a people person, but he was gruffer, rougher, meaner...sexier. He knew what it was like to feel unwanted, feeling the need to show how powerful he was. If you had been in his situation—and you practically almost were if it hadn't been for Natasha—you would've taken the same road he had.
Speak of the devil, you bumped right into him, his chest only covered by a black silk sweater. With all the heavy thinking you hadn't realized you had walked back to your room. Gathering your thoughts, you looked up at his blue eyes. "Shit, sorry."
"Are you well, angel?" Loki asked, genuinely concerned. He had heard every word Steve had said, and to Loki's dismay, they had all been true. Loki hated Steve as much as Steve hated him, Steve had a reason and so did the God of Lies. The main reason? You.
You nodded, seeing how your room was messy. Books and blankets were on the ground, a broken glass scattered on the floor near your bedside table, a lamp covered in feathers, and last night's clothes strewn around the room. "I'm fine. But my room isn't, holy fuck."
With a wave of his hand, Loki cleared the room, the disastrous mess cleaned up before your eyes. He gave you a smile. "There. Director Cyclops wanted me to inform you and Sleeping Beauty that Maria Hill is in the building. She's ready if we are."
"Great. One thing before we step out this room: be nice."
"I'll try."
The mission was far easier than you originally thought. It was less than 24 hours, meaning you wouldn't be trapped in a designated safe house with them, or would you be in any kind of trouble. Just like Fury had said, it was an extract mission. Get the flash drive, get out.
Unfortunately, we'd be forced to go to a gala, one of those unnecessarily fancy parties where the champagne was watered down and the men showed how powerful they were with girls clinging onto their arm. It was a pre-kidnapped Tony Stark kind of party. Thankfully, you had more than a few practice with walking in heels.
The two men were able to put their hatred aside to focus on the job, Loki's magic still restrained even with the urgency of the mission. Maria Hill had filled you in, giving you all the details, the layout of the building, and all the places they suspected the drive to be. The plan was to fly to Hong Kong, get dressed for the party in the Quinjet, attend the gala long enough to find Zhang Wei, and run with the USB flash drive. Simple enough.
The flight from New York to Hong Kong was tiring, even with the eight hour slumber you had, finding yourself in Loki's arms once again. Fortunately, Steve hadn't seen you with Thor's brother, knocking this time and finding you alone, reading the mission file for the millionth time. He had smiled, probably happy he didn't see Loki in your room. That smile didn't last, dropping as soon as he stepped in the Quinjet, greeted Loki and saw the quick smile you sent the raven-haired God. It tugged on his heartstrings; you used to smile at him like that.
At least they kept their snide comments to themselves, only sending the other a glare when you weren't looking. As soon as you looked up, a slightly perplexed expression would come on their face, like they were trying to think of a word that rhymes with orange. Yet, you didn't dare question it, leaving the topic alone and quietly stewing in the testosterone-filled aircraft.
When the Quinjet finally reached Hong Kong, you had already changed into your formal wear. Loki didn't have to move to change his clothes; instead he used his magic, making him look presentable in a blink of an eye. Steve had frowned on that, but decided to let it go considering he had a lot to make up to you. Getting into a fight with your ... whatever Loki was, would not be a great start.
Getting ready for the party had been easy, the dress fit you just right, your hair being in the mood to cooperate, and even your makeup was flawless. The reaction from Steve and Loki certainly didn't help your ego, their comical reactions to your beauty had been amusing and slightly embarrassing.
Steve's mouth has hung open, his jaw unwilling to close while he stared at you. "Wow. Y-you look gorgeous. Wow."
"Truly breathtaking, love." Loki added, licking his lips in appreciation. If there was one thing both he and Steve could agree on, was the way you always turned heads. If anything, Loki wanted to make you his goddess—he just didn't want to admit it to himself just yet.
And since you were too emotionally invested, you took the easy way out and rolled your eyes. Dressed in their tuxes, they looked like they stepped out of a Hugo Boss ad. "Thanks. You guys clean up well."
Steve was too busy admiring you to notice Loki pull out a diamond encrusted ring, not exactly a engagement ring from Jared but one of those rings you get with friends during a drunken girl's night out. Loki stepped up to you, bringing your right hand, placing the ring on your index finger.
"The ring ... goes well with your dress." Loki explained, watching you stare at the ring he had placed. Steve's wonderment has turned sour, a little sad by the gesture. "It was my mother's."
"Loki," you gasped softly, knowing the how special their relationship had been. Thor had explained how Loki spent most his childhood with Frigga, spending his time learning magic, being a mama's boy. With Frigga dead, Loki must've felt some resentment to those dark elves that had been responsible for her death. "I can't— I can't take this."
Loki shrugged, brushing away a stray hair on your cheek. "Yes, you can. You will. It looks beautiful on you. Don't you agree, Captain?"
To be completely honest, Loki had forgotten Steve had existed until his heart faltered at the mention of Frigga. Steve didn't like the way the ring looked like it belonged on you, almost like it had been made specially for you. He nodded, agreeing with Loki once again. "Looks beautiful."
Before it could get any more awkward or embarrassing, an alarm had sounded, the noise saying you from any further feels. All three of you moved to the front, seeing how you hovered a few feet off the landing spot assigned for the Quinjet. With the many SHIELD headquarters, it wasn't a surprise they had in Tokyo just as modernly technical like the one in New York.
The limo ride that took you to the party was tense. Maybe it was the mission that was about to go down, or that awkward moment in the Quinjet. The navy blue, floor-length dress was silky, the fabric soft against your skin. The one-inch straps that came together at the back of your neck accentuated your cleavage, brining them to look bigger than they were. It clung to your curves, but not tight like the dress you had worn the yesterday. This one was far more elegant.
Wrapped in your thoughts, you hadn't noticed when the limo had stopped, the crowded building to your right. The doors opened, both Steve and Loki reaching out a hand to help you out of the limo. Taking them both, you snaked an arm around both of theirs, letting others know you had two dates. You thought the red carpet leading to the entrance was a bit much, even for the Chinese mafia.
Two suited men opened the double glass doors, revealing the fancy gala. Dangerous men and mafia families filled the large room, eyes flickering to your entrance, widening when they realized who had entered. They knew your dates, but SHIELD had made sure to keep your place on the team a secret for missions like this one. No criminal would trust an Avenger, but they might be dumb—or arrogant—enough to be manipulated by a "mole" in SHIELD.
The talking stopped briefly, only to turn to hushed murmurs before they continued as they had before. Both Steve and Loki turned down the campaign, not trusting whatever was put in the liquid. Looking around the room, there was nothing out of the ordinary, well, for a party held by a mafia of course.
"Should we proceed as planned?" Loki confirmed, surveying the room as he tried to find his own target. He locked eyes with the man he needed to distract while Steve and you would sneak away and find Zhang Wei and the flash drive.
Steve nodded, slyly touching his earpiece hidden by his growing hair. You had no idea how Tony convinced him how to grow it out but you were going to thank him later. "Yes. Keep in contact and check in every ten minutes. Be careful."
Loki nodded, heading off to his target but not before giving you a reassuring smile, tiny enough for no one else to notice but it was enough to ease your worries. Yes, he's an all-powerful god but that didn't mean he couldn't die.
Turning to Steve, you smiled at him, almost naughtily. Eyes twinkling with evilness, you hold out your free hand, challenging him with your eyebrows. "Would you like to dance, Stevie?"
You've never seen so much fear in someone's eyes come in such a short time. Steve's contained so much fear you were worried he was going to combust. "Um, I d-don't really know how."
"Why, that's a shame, Captain." a man behind you said. Turning around, you found yourself only a foot away from the mafia leader himself, Zhang Wei. Steve's jaw clenched at the unprepared confrontation. Zhang turned to you, holding his unnaturally thin hand out. You could see the bones through the thin skin, shivering at the sight. "Would you like to dance, darling?"
Taking the opportunity, you nodded, taking his hand, hoping Steve would get the hint to not look so stiff. "I would love to."
Zhang took you to the almost empty dance floor, the music starting as soon as his foot hit the designated area. Smiling maliciously, he tugged on your waist, pulling you close for a proper dance. "You look beautiful, my dear. I'm certain your date is jealous I stole you away."
"He doesn't mind." you answered, returning the smile. Glancing at Steve, you saw him glaring at the back of Zhang's head, burning a hole. "Steve is rather hesitant when it comes to dancing, so, I'm sure he doesn't mind you helping a lady out."
The mafia leader's smiled widened. His eyes briefly landed on Loki, narrowing slightly at the way he interacted with his second in command. You took the brief amount of time to inspect him, noticing how much thinner he looked. With eye bags under his eyes, bones peeking through his hands, and the way his footsteps faltered ever so slightly made you realize he isn't going to be hard to take down. He may be the big bad criminal but from the looks of it, he was dying.
Zhang Wei nodded. "You look familiar. Have I seen you before?"
"I'm an escort. You may or may not have seen me on a bunch of powerful men's arms." you lied, flashing him your most charming smile. Zhang raised an eyebrow, gesturing towards Steve with a tilt of his head. "Steve's the same, poor baby was too shy to ask anyone to be his date."
"Didn't think Captain America would have such a hard time finding a date." Zhang mumbled aloud. He kept the false smile on his face. "If the time came, would you tell me your name, in case I can't find myself a date?"
"Tatia Sinclair." you lied, twirling in his arms.
The mafia leader nodded. The dance floor had filled up, nearly overcrowding. It took you a second to find Steve with all the bodies in the way. Zhang cleared his throat. "What a lovely name. Tatia, darling, would you accompany me to my study? I have to fetch something special of mine and would like you pleasant company."
Steve snarled your name through the earpiece, Loki's growl following along. Again, the super soldier and the god agreed. Steve murmured your name. "Don't."
Ignoring his order—and unnecessary concern—you grinned, taking Zhang outstretched arm. "I would love to."
He led you to the elegant stairs while you discreetly turned off your earpiece, no longer wanting to hear Steve's overprotective ass grumbling about sticking to the plan. If he had checked his folder, he would've seen you were sticking to the plan, just not the way he wanted.
The walk to his office was a slow one, considering how sick the mafia leader was, you weren't surprised when he was out of breath just from climbing the stairs. You didn't comment, instead helping him out and pointing out random things a dumb escort would say. Your personal plan was to make this guy underestimate you, and with the way he was looking at you, he was convinced you were just a body with no brains.
He opened the door to his mahogany office, the room was just as elegant as the party below, oozing power and money. Zhang went to his desk, opening his cabinet. From where he left you, you couldn't see what considering how he held it in his hand without opening his palm. A knock at the door stopped you from asking.
Surprisingly his right hand man came in, the one Loki was supposed to be distracting, at least long enough for us to figure out where the flash drive was. And guessing from the amount of evidence, you were guessing the flash drive was in the mafia leader's hand. He glanced at you, tilting his head at Zhang before speaking.
They talked in Chinese--surprise, surprise--a bit fast for you to fully decipher but the gist of the conversation had been finding a safe, more guarded location for the drive considering both Steve Rogers and Loki Laufeyson were in the building, just a floor below them. The two men paid you no attention as you tried to look clueless, bored, and in all, dumb. In their eyes, you were just checking out the room when actually you had been trying to find more dirt. If it wasn't the drive in his hand, it had to be close by.
"Tatia." Zhang called out, using the fake name you had given him. You turned around, a little glass globe in your hand. You raised an eyebrow, twirling the little sphere. "Would you excuse me? I have some rather pressing issues that need to be dealt with."
And once again, the door opened before you could answer the question. This time, at the door stood Steve and Loki, a man laying on the floor between the two. From the way both their suits were a little ruffled, they had enough waiting and decided to take action. A few appeared out of knowhere, tacking the two but you were left alone to deal with the men in the room. Zhang reached under his desk, where you had discreetly took the hidden gun while they had been talking.
Zhang's second in command quickly pointed his loaded gun at you, and you at him, your eyes reflecting the same emotion: hate. The man spoke to Zhang, keeping his gun steady while Zhang tried to get away. Even for a dying man, he moved fast, leaving you the choice of shooting his second in command in the knee. He cried out, firing his gun out of anguish but you were faster, quickly following Zhang, leaving a big group of men to fight Loki and Steve. They would be able to handle it.
Running in heels was always an annoyance to you, considering how unnecessary they were on missions. They looked hot but the fact that you were forced to wear them was a little sexist. You'd have to talk with Fury about that.
The halls were lit up with chanderliers dangling from the ceiling, all of them shining brightly. For someone who had been limping out of the room, he had been fast, or was hiding but the fact was that you lost him. You could still hear the grunts from where Loki and Steve were punching the fuck out of those mafia men.
You slowed, looking at the painting-decorated walls in search of some kind of secret door, maybe a fake wall. It sounded ridiculous but at the compound, Tony had a bunch of hiding spots, a few you knew and others you didn't. It was infuriating.
The hallway must've lasted forever, and you were convinced he had vanished into thin air. Then you spotted a cracked door, it was enough to be left opened on accident, but that didn't mean it was. With caution, you walked slowly, holding your gun in front of you. With your foot, you cracked the door open, entering a room of complete darkness. From what you could tell, there were no windows, and most likely a fake safe room.
Still, you flipped the light switch on, the room lighting up with it's obnoxiously bright white paint reflecting even brighter with the light. Scanning the room, you noticed how it smelled slightly sweet, the sweetness making you slightly dizzy. You shook your head, trying to find something wrong, like a hidden wall, or maybe another escape route from inside the room.
It didn't take long for you to realize the sweet scent was toxic, the side effect making you dizzier, the room spinning under your feet. As soon as you grasped the wall for support, Zhang came from the wall beside you, the little door opening to reveal the mafia leader holding his own gun, the flash drive in his hand as he taunted you with it.
He laughed at your weakened state, aiming his gun at your heart. It triggered your fight or flight and even with the side effect, you decided to fight. He was weaker than you, slower, his aged brain not processing you running at him. His gun dropped on the ground, along with the USB drive as your hand wrapped around his neck, pushing him against the wall with all your remaining strength.
Zhang had to been immune to the fast-acting toxin while you crumbled, unable to hold your body with the dizziness and fatigue bringing you down. Taking the upper hand, he knocked you over, his fist colliding with your jaw. You grunted, pouncing for the gun and flash drive, hiding the latter in your bra while the mafia leader shook his hand in pain.
Just as you had wrapped your fingers around the barrel of the gun, you heard the gunshot, and felt it hit your shoulder. Your hand was useless, your body way too weak from the toxins to defend yourself against the man, at this point just hoping they would find the flash drive in your bra when they autopsied you.
Another bullet was fired, and this one right on your arm, the pain numb. Maybe this was the way you were going to die, but at least it wasn't painful. That was the best you could've hoped for. And then another bullet was fired, but you didn't feel it, the fire inside you too hot for you to even register the pain. You laid on the ground, eyes drifting close. Zhang dropped dead a couple of feet next to you, his head bleeding out.
Your vision had already blackened when you felt Steve knelt down to you, pulling you into his arms. You were unconscious by the the time you figured out Steve had killed.
You woke up to the sound of the irritating beat of your heart of the monitor, and heavy breathing. Despite the very difficult task, you opened your eyes, instantly regretting it when you were met with a blinding light. Thankfully, it went away, revealing where you were in the Medbay, laying on the stiff bed with needles pierced into your skin.
Steve got up from his seat beside you, instantly hovering over you with a worried look on his face. If you hadn't felt like shit, you would've thought his face was permanently like that. "Hey, hey. Are you okay? How do you feel?"
"Am I in hell?"
He let out a strained chuckle, taking your hand with the both of his. His furrowed eyebrows remained furrowed, his forehead filled with crinkles. "Sweetheart? How do you feel? Are you in pain? Do you need anything?"
"Holy fuck, you're spitting in my face. Steve, I feel like shit but I promise I'm fine. Come on, don't you don't have to worry so much." you replied, wishing you could do something other than lie in pain.
"You're fine? I watched you get shot, held you in my arms while you bled out in front of me. If it wasn't for Loki, you'd be dead. Don't you understand how not fine that is? What the hell were you thinking?" Steve raged, letting go of your hand to pace around the room. Judging from the lack of sunlight coming from the windows, it was nighttime, the whole compound barely lit.
"Did you find the drive? I had it—"
"Are you actually worrying about the flash drive when you almost died? Do you not care whether or not you live?" Steve blurted, throwing his hands up in the air, clearly frustrated with how the conversation was going.
"Where's Loki?" you whispered, your eyes slowly closing. You fought to keep them open, hoping for an answer and wishing you could postpone this argument with Steve until morning when you finally could argue back.
Steve calmed down, appreciating the God of Mischief a lot more when he saved your life. "He's filling out Fury on the whole situation. And we found the flash drive, which made Fury gleam with glee."
"Good." you yawned, letting your eyes close knowing Loki was safe and found the flash drive. Steve whispered something but you were already too far gone, falling asleep as soon as your eyes closed.
Loki came into the room a few minutes after you fell asleep, stepping up next to Steve who had been staring your sleeping form. The raven-haired God pulled up a chair, his eyes never leaving your face. "How is she?"
"More worried about the aftermath of the mission more than herself." Steve answered, his voice wavering for a second at the thought of losing you. The super soldier turned to Loki. "Thank you for going against the rules and using your magic to save her. I think it's safe to say you won't get into any trouble, especially with her fighting Tony about it."
Loki shrugged, waving away the compliment. "You would've done the same if you could've."
A beat of silence passed before Steve spoke again, more determined than ever to win back your trust. "I like her, you know?"
"I care for her, too." Loki replied. "And I know that you care for her but don't you understand that I'm far better for her than you ever will? You hurt her. You broke her trust. I may only know her for a few days but I know breaking trust is important to her. To earn it back—"
"Would almost be impossible." Steve finished, his eyes dropping to the bed. "But I have to try. I really like her."
"As do I. And I'm not giving up."
"Neither will I."
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mrsdeanwinchester19 · 3 years
Text
The Dinner-Sequel to The Interview
Pairing: Steve x reader
Word Count: 3k
Summary: Sequel to The Interview.  Steve takes his wife to meet his team after her interview
Warnings: None
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“Steve, do you think this dress is ok?” I ask, coming out of our walk-in closet wearing my lace, off the shoulder red dress.  Steve is taking me to dinner with the team tonight, so I want to make a good first impression.  Most people would think I’ve met the team before, but Steve kept our relationship a secret in the beginning and then the team broke up because of the Accords and we got married when we were on the run, so we really couldn’t invite any of the team members.
We had our wedding in Norway, one of the few countries that hadn’t signed the Accords.  They claimed they didn’t sign because if a non-government owned unit made from people from different countries called the Alsos Unit hadn’t helped them in World War II, the Germans would have succeeded in creating an Atomic bomb in their country.  In Norway, there was one team member, Thor, who was visiting Earth; he vouched for us.
After our wedding, we went to Wakanda on our honeymoon and visited Bucky. We had been having dinner with Bucky, T’Challa, and Shuri when we told him we got married.  He was upset that he couldn’t be there, but he understood when he found out the wedding happened when he was asleep.  When he said Steve could make it up to him by naming his first son James; Steve started choking on his Umqombothi drink.  I know Steve wants kids, but he wasn’t willing to have them while being on the run. Now that we’re not hiding, we’re actively trying for a baby.  I wonder if tonight he’ll break the news that he has a wife AND is trying to get said wife pregnant.
As I walk out of the closet, I bend down to adjust the ankle strap on my right heel.  I stand back up, smooth my dress, and look up at Steve.  He’s staring at me with a dopey smile on his face, love evident in his eyes.  “The dress itself is fine, you make it look perfect.”
“Ugh, Steve, quit it with the cheesy lines,” I protest while blushing.  Men used to say these things to their wives and girlfriends back in their time, it’s why Steve and Bucky can be prince charming when they want to be. Bucky more often than Steve now that he’s more like his old self, or so Steve says.
“I’m just being honest,” he defends, shrugging his shoulders.  He comes over to me and wraps his arms around my waist.  “You nervous?”
“What do you think?” I ask rhetorically.   I haven’t been this nervous since I first met Steve. In 2014, during a career conference once for journalists, the resort we were at was seized by terrorists.  One of my coworkers and I were the only ones from The New York Sun attending, despite the fact that it was in New York. I suppose they only wanted to go if the convention was out of town so they could get out of work and go on vacation. We were held in the resort’s Grand Hall for hours until the Avengers were able to save us.  There was a pretty big fight between Steve, Thor, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Black Widow, and the terrorists but luckily no one died.  I had been hurt in the kerfuffle, a broken finger, but after Steve wrapped my finger in a brace, he allowed me to interview him.  During the on-camera interview with him, Thor was teasing him in the background, doing silly faces and the “blah blah blah” hand motion.
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Steve had asked for my name and number to “keep in touch and see if my finger heals correctly”.  When I gave it to him, he wrote it down in an old-fashioned address book. I hadn’t expected him to call me ever, but he did, asking for a date.  At first, he was weary of me being a journalist, in case things ended badly and I wrote a bad article about him.  However, a year later, he was thankful I was a journalist because I had access to all archived articles about the Winter Soldier.  After that happened, I knew he trusted me wholeheartedly and I felt the same. When the Accords started happening, I had access to the signing, to interview government people about it, and relayed that information to Steve about who he could trust.  That was how I found out about Norway not signing.
“They’ll love you,” he says.  “Bucky loves you, Tony will probably love you because he’ll think the interview prank you pulled on me was hilarious.  Nat and Wanda will be happy another girl is around.  Thor likes you, even Loki took a liking to you; he would love the interview prank. Clint will like you, Bruce will like you; no one has a reason to dislike you.
I turn around and take a good look at him. Royal blue dress shirt and black pants. His hair is up and I want nothing more than to run my fingers through it. He keeps me pressed to his body closely and I rub my hands along his chest. “If we didn’t have to go to dinner with your friends, I would be all over you right now.”
“Sorry, last night’s sex is just gonna have to hold you.” I give a little laugh.  “I’m just messing with you, I’ll be all over you tonight,” he growls, pulling my face up to his and kissing me deeply.  His kisses always leave me breathless, whether they’re passionate like this or small, chaste kisses when he’s leaving for work in the morning.  This however, is a whole new level and it’s making my heart go crazy.
Steve picks up the basket on the kitchen counter and we walk out the door. When we get to the car, he opens the door for me, ever the gentleman, before climbing in himself.  As he drives there, I fiddle with the hem of my dress.  I’m so worried I’ll talk too much or too little, or I’ll offend someone or embarrass Steve. What if I mention something about him that they don’t know?  Like that he bawled like a baby at Where the Red Fern Grows and Homeward Bound. Tony would probably love that but I don’t want to make Steve feel bad, I was crying too.
My biggest worry is what they’ll think of me after the interview.  Will they think it was funny or will they look at me as unprofessional for not telling them I had a conflict of interest with the Avengers?  I think Tony will like me, and maybe Nat, but I have no idea about the others.   I don’t think Bucky would come around as much as he does if he really didn’t like spending time with both Steve and me. Besides, sometimes when Steve is on a mission and he isn’t, he comes and keeps me company with old movies and our little two person book club we started.  His first choice of book was The Hobbit, which he told me he had read it when it first came out in 1937.  He was happy but not surprised to find out there were movies based on them.
When we drive up to the compound, Steve has a difficult time getting me through security.  They recognized my face and apparently Tony told them not to let me back. “Don’t alert Tony about her,” Steve said as he explained the situation to the guard.  He looked skeptical but agreed.
Steve led me upstairs, but not to the dining room where the team was waiting. He led me to his room.  “Well, well, well, Mr. Rogers, I thought we had to meet your friends in a little bit. Though I know you could probably get it done in ten minutes.”
“Ha ha ha, very funny,” he sarcastically replies.  “I just needed to grab…this,” he says, pulling his wallet out of his nightstand.  “Forgot it here yesterday.”
I simply hum in response to his explanation because I’m too busy looking around his room.  I’ve only seen it over FaceTime and in pictures.  It’s very different from our room at home. Our house, which we had just moved to from our apartment in preparation for a family, has a farmhouse theme.  Our master bedroom has a cream colored walls and one shiplap wall which our bed’s decorative headboard sits against, while our king sized bed is covered in a thick white comforter.  There’s a gray bench at the end of our bed and a blue and white rug.  There are nightstands on each side of the bed where we keep our small before bed items and our white, shared dresser is on the other side of the room, next to the door for our walk-in closet.  We have an attached bath with a clawfoot tub and a shower stall.  Our room lets in lots of natural light, which Steve loves because he likes to let the morning sun warm his back on his days off.
This room has a completely different feel to it. It’s much darker than our room at home. The walls are gray and his comforter is dark blue.  He has a black dresser across from his bed with a TV mounted to the wall above it. A plain bathroom with just a few essentials like shaving cream, a toothbrush, toothpaste, etc sit on the counter.  While our walls at home aren’t covered in pictures, we have more than the two he has here.  One is a picture of him and Bucky laughing and the other is of his parents before his father went to war; the war he never came back from.  Both pictures he has copies of hanging up at home. There’s a somewhat large window on the wall, but it’s covered with a blackout curtain.
I did most of the decorating at home, while this decorating was all him.   “Steve?” He looks at me.  “Do you not like our room at home?”
He furrows his eyebrows.  “No.  I love our place.  Why would you think that? Also, that’s very random to be bringing up now.”
“Well it’s just…this room is so different from ours at home.  I just didn’t know if you liked the darker colors better.  I want you to be comfortable in our room at home.  We can change it if you want it to look more like this one.”
He gives a little laugh and turns to face me.  “I didn’t decorate this room, Tony’s person did and he gave me this room because it’s the “most masculine”.  I prefer our room because it’s bright and spacious.  The fact that you decorated it is special to me because it’s like a present you gave to me.  Plus, I don’t have the best eye for interior design since everything I grew up with was either floral or had doilies.  But to be honest, this one feels a bit like a dungeon.  I just don’t bother to change it because I just sleep at home.  And I didn’t change it before I met you because even then I just used it to sleep, if I slept at all,” he looks into the distance, remembering all the nights he spent up in the gym, trying to beat the memories out of his mind.  He changes the subject, “Ok, so when we go down there I’m gonna have you wait around the corner and then you can come out when I tell you.”
He leads me downstairs and has me wait in a hallway. He walks around the corner and I hear Tony say, “Alright Capsicle, what’s the surprise you have for us?”
“Everybody just sit down and I’ll get to it in a minute,” he replies.  The sound of chairs scraping the floor is heard and Tony grumbles something about how he had been planning to have lasagna with Pepper tonight.  After a few seconds of silence, Steve comes back around the corner, grabs my hand, and leads me out. I nearly trip over my heels when we start moving and the pit in my stomach only grows.
At the sight of me, Tony and Natasha stand up startled. “What is she doing here?” Tony angrily asks.
“I thought you banned her,” Natasha adds on.
They all begin chattering, asking Steve why I’m here until Bucky calmly says, “Hey Y/N.”
Sam looks at Bucky confused, “You know her?”  Bucky nods his head and Sam looks at Steve, confused and a little hurt.  “Steve?”
“Everybody,” Steve starts, setting his hand on my lower back.  “This is Y/N, my wife.”
“WIFE?!” they all shout at different times.  Steve and I get bombarded with about a million questions at once.  When did we meet, why weren’t they invited to the wedding, when the wedding was, why I interviewed Steve the way I did, etc.
A loud thud on the balcony draws everyone’s attention. Thor is standing there in his armor and cape, holding his hammer.  “Sorry I’m late for team dinner,” he begins but stops when he sees me.  “Lady Y/N, I haven’t seen you since the wedding.  How has being married to the Captain been?”
“Oh you know, being married to a man-child is a struggle, but he’s hot enough for me to keep him around,” I joke.
“Thor, you know her too?” Tony asks.
“Yes I do.  Loki does too but I decided not to bring him tonight.  I think it would have been a bad idea.”
“Alright, Tony, sit down and I’ll explain everything,” Steve says.  Tony hesitantly sits down and everyone else follows.  Steve explained everything from why we met to why we couldn’t invite them to the wedding.
As he’s finishing telling the story and answering questions from the team, Tony’s bots bring in the pasta and Steve gets up and grabs something from the basket we brought.  He opens a bottle of wine and begins filling glasses.  When he gets to mine, I put my hand over my cup.  “Not tonight,” I say.
“But it’s your favorite,” he says.
“I can’t,” I say, not wanting to get in to it.
“C’mon, I won’t let you drink too much,” he says jovially.
“No, Steve…I can’t,” I say forcefully, looking up to make eye contact, hoping he understands without giving anything away.
He understands, but unfortunately his mouth works faster than his brain.  He looks down at my stomach and an excited smile spreads on his face.  “Are you…?”
I look around the table, seeing the Avengers all looking at us expectedly.  I look back at Steve and sheepishly nod.  He gasps and nearly drops the bottle, but luckily he realizes that when I reach out to catch it.
“A babe,” Thor says happily.  “Mazel tov.”
“They’re not Jewish,” Bucky says to Thor.  “Can’t wait to meet little James or Jamie.”  I give Bucky a look to let him know it’s not happening.  “Ok, Bucky works too.”
Tony puts his head in his hands looking like he’s about to pass out.  “Oh my god, we find out Steve is married to a woman I banned from the compound, and now that he’s going to be a father.”
I look at Steve to see him with tears in his eyes. Thankfully, Natasha saves us. “I’d like to propose a toast,” she says, standing up and holding her glass out.  “To Steve and Y/N, I hope you have a long, happy marriage and a healthy baby girl that you name Natasha.”
“That was the other thing we had planned to tell you tonight.  We’ve been trying for a baby.  I guess we were successful.”  Steve finishes pouring the drinks while everybody suggests baby names.  After a while, the conversation drifts to other things.  I enjoy listening to them, though they’re constantly quipping (mostly Tony).
Bucky, who’s sitting next to me, whispers to Steve, who’s on my other side, “Are we going to church this Sunday?”  The three of us go to church most Sundays. Steve and Bucky both grew up going to church, and it gives them some hope in a dark world.
Tony, who wasn’t involved in the conversation, cuts in. “Barnes, you could live at church and you still won’t go upstairs when you die.”
Bucky’s metal hand clenches so hard around his fork I’d be surprised if it isn’t bent.  He looks at Tony and gives him a very fake, overly sweet smile.  “Tony, I love how mean you are to me because it makes me feel less guilty about what I did to your parents.”
Tony stands up, slamming his hands on the table and Bucky mirrors him.  It looks like they’re about to attack but Steve intervenes.  “Tony, Bucky!  Tony, that was uncalled for and Bucky, that was unnecessary.  We know how you actually feel about your past and we’ve watched you try to change.”  Both men slowly sit back down.  “We have a guest.”  Bucky relaxes first, then Tony does.
“Y/N,” Tony addresses me.  “I need to apologize for my rudeness towards Bucky on my first night officially meeting you.  I was hoping not to fight with him tonight.”
“You call that a fight?  You should hear these two,” I say, gesturing to Steve and Bucky on either side of me.  “These guys can bicker with each other like an old married couple for hours about the smallest things.  Last week they had a 45 minute argument on how many times you can reuse a towel before it needs to be washed.”
“Wash it right away,” Steve mutters.
“Steve, we used to use towels so many times before we washed them in the 40s,” Bucky argues.
“Yeah but that was because if we needed to wash things, Mom had to heat up water and then hang-dry it on the balcony.  It’s easy to wash things now days.”
“Anyways,” Tony says, stopping their argument.  “I guess the interview you gave Cap makes sense now…somewhat.”
“Well I was pissed at him that day, so I think he deserved it.”
Tony smiles at Steve.  “You need to bring her around more often.”
Taglist: @imanuglywombat @infernal-fire @dottirose @carpediemm-18​
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strawberrysoup · 4 years
Text
Pocketful of Posies || Chapter 5
You’d been hiding for years and years now; from your family, from society, from alphas and packs. Suppressants were dangerous but effective and necessary for an omega who refused to be owned—but no suppressants were strong enough to fool the nose of a super soldier, who together with his pack would stop at nothing to bind you to them forever.
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pairings: dark!Avengers x reader
word length: 4.7k
chapters: 5/?
warnings: A/B/O dynamics, power imbalances, noncon and dubcon sexual situations, loss of autonomy, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat — this is a dark!fic, read at your own risk. more detailed content warnings are included at the end of the chapter to avoid spoilers, click through the read more, CTRL + F “content warnings”. 
Rationality within Carol’s pack was often treated like a talking stick; only one person could have and use it at a time, and stealing it required either brute force or a clever trick—which was why she and Loki fumbled it back and forth so often. Sam seemed to have snatched it for a moment, until their omega’s sharp tongue made him fumble. She was cutting and brutal, as wild as she’d looked the first time Carol saw her: covered in mud and blood, half soaked from the bath and thrashing violently while Thor and Peter tried to gently get her in the tub.
The blonde figured it was time to regain the upper hand over their omega and came to stand at the top of the stairs, eyes locking on Sam from behind. He was turning the corner from patience to frustration, their little omega’s demeaning comments making the muscle in his jaw clench. It was impressive though; any of the other alpha’s in the house (plus herself and maybe minus Peter) would’ve had her nose in the corner by now, bent over to hold her own ankles and struggling for balance so that her forehead didn’t press against the wall lest she earn herself a spanking for being sulky.
“Alright Sammy, tag out,” Carol made sure that there was an undertone of mirth in her voice, hoping to bring the other alpha out of his anger. “You should probably go check on dinner and—Bruce, test results?”
“Oh, you’re right,” the beta nodded, immediately headed for the stairs. “Her hormone analysis should be ready at the least.”
The moment her eyes landed on the little omega on the bed, Carol felt her heart melt just a bit. Despite the vitriol she’d been spitting just moments before, the precious thing looked like an angel sprawled out in their den. All she wore was one of Thor’s t-shirts, the hem brushing the tops of her thighs and perfuming her scentless skin with his musk—she couldn’t wait until the suppressants were out of their omega’s system, Carol desperately wanted to know what she smelled like.
“Sammy?” The blonde prompted when the male alpha didn’t move, leading him to sigh.
“Yeah babe,” he leaned over and pressed a kiss against the omega’s forehead, ignoring how she shrunk back into the pillows behind her. “I’m out. Take care of her, beautiful.”
Sam stopped to press a kiss against Carol’s cheek on his way down the stairs, gesturing for Tony to follow. The genius rolled his eyes and huffed but followed nonetheless, only after tossing a wink at the scowling omega huddled in what would hopefully soon be a nest. Carol waited until they were both down before returning her attention to the younger woman, stomach filling with butterflies.
Carol had wanted an omega since she presented as an alpha at twelve. 90% of the people she interacted with thought she was such a waste—a female alpha? Objectively, a useless combination. Female alphas were weak and passive, certainly not strong enough to lead a pack or produce strong alpha babies. If only she’d been a delta or a beta, she could’ve at least carried children. She’d always been fully aware that society’s perspective was incredibly flawed; she was as dominant as any male, just as potent and just as strong. Stronger even—more recently by unimaginable levels.
But omegas rarely looked negatively upon female alphas. Omegas preened and clamored for the attention female alphas provided, they saw it as more tender and careful. Carol didn’t know if she exactly agreed with that either, but at least an omega would never look at her and consider her a very pretty waste.
Or so the blonde had thought, right up until making eye contact with the sweet-faced omega her pack had managed to stumble upon. She certainly didn’t look pleased, her glare verging on incendiary.
“You sure are feisty,” she felt her lips quirking at the corners, especially when the omega seemed to puff up like an angry kitten. “What you said to Sam wasn’t very nice. You gonna hiss at me too?”
The answer was a resounding yes, the cute, clicking cub growl she made only reinforcing Carol’s gut instinct that the little omega was perfect. She liked that fire, it wasn’t disrespectful—it demanded respect and the blonde could certainly understand that sort of attitude. Considering her omega’s evident disdain for modern presentation centered care, it could even be considered mild.
“Claws away, baby,” she ordered, tone amused and the smile still curling her lips as she toed her shoes off at the edge of the bed. “Be a good girl for me now.”
Carol pressed the omega flat to the bed before she could fight, plastering herself against the half-naked woman and burying her face in the crook of her neck. Scenting deeply made the blonde’s eyes roll back in her head—the faint scent of panicking omega wafted off her skin, only noticeable at such a distance. Thank God the Hulk picked it up, the alpha’s senses so incredibly strong that even while masked by Bruce’s beta he had picked up the faint whiff of omega; if Bruce hadn’t prompted Steve to scent carefully they might not’ve found her. Carol hadn’t been the only one in the pack desperate for an omega.
Thor had been… devastated to learn of the lack of omegas on Earth. With the destruction of Asgard and the remaining population’s relocation, it had been another gut punch to the alpha prime who’s people had already endured so much. He’d spoken at length about how omega Aesir were different than humans’ and the tone of longing and sadness in the prime had radiated through their entire pack.
The deltas, Bucky, Tony and Loki had all realized years ago how sorely their dynamic suffered without an omega. A delta’s overwhelming physiological drive was to provide support and comfort to pack members, their intuition let them see their packmates in a way the other presentation’s couldn’t replicate. Their pack’s deltas were all incredibly intuitive, beyond the norm, and without an omega to properly direct them they got manipulative. It was rarely antagonistic or cruel and if there had only been one delta in the pack, it would’ve slid by without notice—but deltas perceived the deception where others didn’t and it usually led to dissent amongst the three.
And while Steve had never said a word, Carol knew that as a sickly little beta he’d dreamt of being ‘strong enough to deserve an omega’. Bucky had mentioned it briefly—as had Tony, who’d heard it from his father at least biweekly. Steve loved omegas; he loved that they balanced an incredible strength with equal fragility. The very nature of them spoke to his inner artist, ‘his inner romantic,’ Bucky had teased. Now that he was a big ass alpha prime? He could deserve an omega now, he was strong enough now.
Their omega was practically a miracle, considering how few of them there were—so few adults, especially. Some claimed the overall population of omegas was going up despite the overwhelming evidence of the opposite and besides, the number of omegas born every year didn’t matter when you had packmates approaching their mid-forties. Tony, Bruce, and Clint were getting up there, as everyone liked to tease. Finding a reasonably aged omega that was also unclaimed? They’d never even considered the possibility, it was unfathomable.
Carol had consoled herself with the knowledge that her pack loved her deeply, found no fault in her gender or presentation. She knew it would take time, but soon her omega would realize the same. There was nothing wrong with her, she didn’t need to hide or put on a façade; not in their pack, not under their protection. Whatever the omega had gone through in her life must’ve been traumatizing, the blonde could only assume some sort of abuse, and it would be tough to instill confidence in her. They’d need to build her back up from scratch.
“You know, if you’d let Wanda search your mind, we’d have a much easier time understanding what’s going on,” the blonde murmured into the omega’s neck, nose brushing back and forth over her left scent gland. “Will you tell me why you’re so scared? Are you afraid of alphas or of packs? Or deltas?”
“I’m afraid of being trapped forever by a bunch of fucking rapists and kidnappers!” She spat furiously in response, struggling futilely under Carol’s careful grasp. “Get your fucking face out of my neck!”
“Packs it is then,” Carol sighed, lifting her head but keeping the woman pinned beneath her.
“You’re so shifty ‘mega, calm down. There are some horrible people out there, we know that better than anyone, and I’m sorry that you were hurt. I’m sorry you had to go through whatever it was.”
The omega froze, muscles pulling so tightly that she started to shiver. Her lips pursed, jaw clenching and her eyes got dim, lashes fluttering as she looked into the distance over Carol’s shoulder. It was a dead-eyed stare, one the blonde had seen before. Her baby was half trapped in a memory, tightly clenched hands clawing at Carol’s shirt and trying to force her body away.
“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry, come back—” Carol cooed into the omega’s ear, holding her tighter as she struggled. “You’re with me baby, you’re safe. Breathe with me, come back to me.”
“Would you fucking get off!” The omega choked, sounding both parts desolate and frustrated. “Why don’t you people fucking listen? Am I speaking gibberish?”
“I’m sorry you’re so angry omega,” the blonde’s eyebrows furrowed, sadness permeating her expression as she lowered her head to rest her forehead against the omega’s. “I’m sorry, I can’t get off—you need the pheromones, the alpha contact chemicals. Even if you’re traumatized, once the suppressants you’re on start to wear off you’re going to have to submit. We need to start practicing now so you can get comfortable with it, before it’s critical for your health.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry, you’re not sorry! If you were, you would’ve let me go. You wouldn’t be holding me here! I don’t need or want your help, I don’t want to be in a pack!”
“I hear you, baby, I promise I understand what you’re saying,” Carol carefully pinned one of the flailing omega’s arms down with her knee, reaching up to stroke the woman’s face. “You don’t want to be here, you don’t want to have a pack, I’m sure you don’t want to be bonded to us. But you’re on so many suppressants baby, there are so many mind-altering chemicals in the shit you were taking—”
“If you force me to stop taking them I’ll only be under the ‘mind-altering’ chemicals produced by the other presentations and—and this stupid collar forcing my body to produce addictive chemicals at a rapid rate,” she argued, “you want to argue that I’m out of my mind like I can’t be trusted with my own safety! I’m fully conscious, I’m not stupid, I’m an adult for fuck’s sake. The only thing that’s going to fuck up my personal agency is you!”
“We’ll know for sure when Bruce gets your test results back,” Carol sighed realizing how unlikely it would be for her to get through to the omega. “Tony’s having some equipment dropped by in the morning so he and Bruce can run some more. If your hormone levels aren’t entirely trashed, we’ll revisit this conversation.”
“You have to let me take my suppressants tonight then,” the omega pushed against the blonde again, grunting with effort and irritation when she didn’t move at all. “Otherwise the test results from today won’t match the ones tomorrow, missing a dose will entirely trash my hormone levels! The tests won’t provide an accurate reading!”
Carol was shaking her head before she’d even finished the explanation. “No way, there’s a reason those are illegal, baby. They’re so dangerous—”
“I’ve been taking them for fifteen years and I’m completely fine, come on—”
She watched the omega’s face fall when she sighed, “it’s not gonna happen baby. This one isn’t up for debate.”
“This one?” The omega scoffed bitterly, lips twisting as angry tears collected in her eyes. “Nothing is ‘up for debate’. I’m here, aren’t I? Obviously against my will. I’m not even wearing my own clothes, you won’t let me move! You’re acting like this is the one bit of agency you’re planning to strip from me but you’re either too stupid to realize that or you’re too caught up in the idea of having a house bitch to care!”
“Hey, don’t say that,” Carol frowned, thumb smoothing over the crease between her brows. “We’re not looking to ruin your life, baby. The last thing we want is to make you meek or take away your ability to make your own choices, but we have to take care of you.”
“Y-you don’t though,” she hissed, breath hitching as she fought not to cry in front of the alpha. “I’ve been taking care of-of myself for years. I’ve never had a problem I’ve—I’ve never been attacked or assaulted or—”
Carol shifted until the omega was cradled in her lap, easily blocking the omega’s attempts to escape her grasp, “If that’s true baby girl, I don’t think you understand how rare it is—or how it would mean you were poisoning yourself so thoroughly that no alpha could scent you. There’s too many people out there would hurt you just for being you; the only way for you to be safe is with us, where you don’t have to keep taking the pill equivalent of drinking gasoline and bleach.”
“I should have the choice!”
“The choice to slowly kill yourself?” The blonde looked down into the omega’s face in disbelief. “No one in their right mind would allow another person to suffer like that.”
Their attention was suddenly and brutally drawn to the stairwell, both of their hindbrains reacting to the scent of overwhelmingly aroused alphas accompanied by raised voices and shouting. The omega in her lap went completely and utterly still, instincts locking down all movement as if it could prevent her from being seen. Carol sighed quietly through her nose, nudging her forehead gently against the charming little creature hiding against her chest. She couldn’t really tell what they were yelling about but she figured it had something to do with whatever Bruce found.
“Someone has to—!”
“That doesn’t mean—!”
“It should be—!”
The blonde cracked her neck, arms slipping around the waist of her omega and locking in place like iron bands. The cowering made it easier for Carol to snuggle her tightly against her chest, wiggling them carefully as several pairs of feet began stomping up the stairs, until the omega was entirely engulfed by the alpha from behind. Steve and Thor made it up first, shoulder to shoulder and passive-aggressively nudging each other in the ribs. Sam was next, along with Bucky—both of whom were being decidedly antagonistic to poor Peter who followed behind.
“Would you guys shut the hell up? What’s going on?”
Before anyone else could respond Bruce forced his way between the group of more dominant males, eyes flashing green even as he attempted to shake it off, “the amount of alpha pheromone in her blood is so low it’s amazing she isn’t in shock.”
“What?!” The omega snapped furiously, eyes darting between the people standing around the room nervously. “There’s nothing wrong with me—!”
“Carol, hold her,” Steve ordered, as if the blonde hadn’t locked the omega down the second they heard them coming. “Thor, how are we gonna do this?”
Both primes looked almost pained, their faces painted with grimaces as they exchanged glances. Their struggle was easy to identify; neither wanted to cause any strife between them, damage to their partnership would damage the pack but they wanted to be first. Their hindbrains could barely function beyond the desire to fuck their omega, their pretty, sweet little omega who desperately needed alpha semen because her body would stop functioning without it. Primes always got first take on omegas, but when there were two primes in a pack things got dicey.
“Have one of us do it,” Carol chimed, carefully maintaining an expression that relayed she wasn’t trying to step on toes. “Both of you are massive, you could do damage without proper prep and if it’s that serious we can’t wait on that.”
“I’ll do it!” Peter was quick to step forward. “You all know I’ll the gentlest and she’s already upset—”
“Shut it Spiderboy,” Sam quickly interjected, giving the younger alpha a stern look, “she needs careful handling, not some teenager fumbling with his knot.”
“I’m not a teenager anymore you asshole—!”
“Carol’s cock is the smallest,” Tony stated nonchalantly as he kicked off his shoes in the closet that faced the den, “no offense babe, just logistics.”  
“None taken,” the blonde snorted slightly in amusement before turning her attention to the two primes, “I can get her started, at least get her hormones on the right track.”
“Let go of me you psycho!” The omega howled, voice constricted by her collar. “Get away from me, let me go!”
A low, bone-deep rumble suddenly washed over everyone in the attic, the growl emanating from both Steve and Thor. A keening moan escaped the omega, her breath hitching and eyes rolling as viscous slick gushed from her pussy. The scent of it made waves through the rest of the pack, a cacophony of moans and growls echoing off the high ceiling as the responding scent of hot and bothered emanated through the den.
“Thor?” Steve questioned the other prime imploringly, knowing that they needed an immediate answer and follow through.
The taller man grit his teeth, nose flaring for several moments before he let out another low growl that made their omega cry with arousal. “You first—leave my shirt on her, please.”
“Oh God, oh God,” the whimpering omega shifted in Carol’s arms, likely about to try to make a break for it when Steve swept her up into his arms. “Please, wait—!”
“Your pussy is dripping for your primes, isn’t it precious?” The alpha male hummed quietly as he swiftly lowered them both to the bed, hands grasping the backs of her thighs and pressing her knees towards her shoulders. “So much slick for such a little thing.”
The whine that came from Peter sounded wrecked, only minutely more embarrassing than the groans and panting coming from the rest of the pack as they watched. The omega looked to be approaching frantic and Carol sighed, shifting farther away from the prime on the bed—there was no reason to test Steve’s incredible patience. Well, that had been Carol’s opinion anyway.
Evidently Loki believed otherwise, but then again the delta was habitually prone to testing Steve’s last goddamn nerve. The brunet had appeared with a shimmering green light, lying on the bed so close to the omega that the scent from his ridiculously expensive Fendi sweater was transferring to her arm and shoulder. The prime had barely flinched, certainly hadn’t reacted in a manner more noticeable than a slight dilation in his pupil. Thor made a reprimanding noise but didn’t move forward to remove the delta, much to Bucky and Tony’s immediate disdain.
“Why the fuck does he get to—!”
“You better rethink that, Ice Man!”
The combined snarls from both primes quickly brought all three deltas to heel and while Loki didn’t retreat, he did keep his hands to himself. One hand propped up his head, the other tightly fisted and rested on the bed between himself and the omega’s borrowed shirt while eyes burned into him from all sides. The omega’s wide eyes were locked on the man, some flicker of recognition fleetingly passing over her face. Loki was good at surprise entrances and even better at taking advantage of his brother’s status in the pack—not that he necessarily got away with things the others wouldn’t, but none of the others particularly wanted to find out what the prime’s breaking point was either.
“I just want to keep her calm, is that so horrible?” The tone the God used was smooth and Carol remembered the talking stick analogy again. “You can smell the poor thing’s terror, is it really necessary?”
Steve looked conflicted for maybe two seconds when a light went off behind his eyes. “Keep her calm so I don’t have to purr and you can stay.”
The delta’s hand immediately slipped up the front of her shirt, cupping the curve of her rib cage just under her breast. His nose pressed into her neck in the following moments, a small golden glow flowing over the little omega’s skin where he touched her. The odor of fear was quick to recede once the windows were open, replaced with the tangy-sweet scent of her pussy. Carol inhaled sharply and whined, drawing Steve’s attention to her wide, sad eyes.
The prime huffed, running one big hand through his hair while Loki held the omega’s thigh in place. “Hands to yourself, Carol.”
The blonde immediately tucked her nose into the other side of the omega’s neck, hands clenched into fists and tucked tightly against her stomach. She could hear the rest of the pack shuffling around, vying for space and views on the bed. Steve seemed entirely unbothered, his gaze once again locked on the pretty omega’s.
“Is your cunt working your slick hard enough precious?” He murmured directly into her ear, lips brushing the skin gently. “If those muscles aren’t strong enough we might have to put in a bit more effort to stretch you out. Squeeze around my fingers baby.”
Carol’s eyes rolled back when a breathy whine escaped the omega, the only perceivable reaction that might’ve betrayed her fear—otherwise, whatever magic Loki had used made her eyes shine with bliss. Steve had two fingers knuckle deep in her cunt, still pressing forward while his slick coated thumb swept up through her folds to pass over her clit. She shook under the grasp of his packmates, hips shifting without her consent to follow the movement of his hand.
“Come on sweetheart, please?” Steve implored quietly, looking at the loosely pinned omega with soft eyes. “Clench your pussy for me, let me take care of you. Please, I—oh, there you go, that’s a good girl.”
He hummed, working his fingers deeper into her cunt and scissoring them carefully. A smile lit the prime’s face when the cutest hiccupping moan escaped the omega, her legs pressing futilely against his hold. Muscle memory tried to guide her legs closed but Carol easily slipped a hand around her knee, keeping her spread wide while Steve continued to stretch her pussy. Another bass toned growl from Thor reverberated off the walls and she wailed, slick dripping over Steve’s fingers while her pussy contracted in waves as commanded by the prime’s guttural growl.
“I’m gonna take care of you precious,” her low whine prompted a moan from Steve as he added a third finger, carefully pressing the pads of his fingers up against her g-spot. “You’ll feel so much better once we fuck you, I promise.”
Carol watched with heavily lidded eyes as the omega’s attention was sparked by Steve’s use of the collective we. Likely it was only Loki’s magic that kept her from lashing out as viciously as they knew she was capable of. In spite of it, her little teeth showed, sharp incisors flashing in a botched hiss. The prime poised himself over her carefully with a small grin, fingers still fucking into her with vigor while he rested his weight on his elbow next to her head.
“It’s gonna be okay omega, it’s gonna be okay,” he cooed quietly against her ear, removing his hand only to pull his cock from his pants. “Take deep breaths, baby.”
“Don’t—” She didn’t sound distressed, the omega sounded aroused and desperate, “I—”
“Shhhh,” the prime’s lips skimmed over her cheeks, down her nose while his hand guided his dick up and down her slick folds until he was dripping with her arousal. “I’m gonna take care of you, precious. We’re gonna take care of you.”
The sound that escaped the omega’s lips as he slipped into her was goosebump inducing in the best way. She whined as the head popped in, breath hitching with every millimetre that came thereafter—and there were a lot of them. The omega was squirming, her heels scrambling against the blankets and both Loki and Carol found themselves having to focus much harder than expected on keeping her still while Steve bottomed out.
“You’re doing so well, darling,” Loki cooed, his nose brushing the line of her jaw. “I know it’s a lot but you’re taking it beautifully. Stay still love, just relax we’ll hold you.”
“That’s right ‘mega,” Steve groaned as he withdrew, the squelch of her cunt making his teeth clench. “We’ll do all the work precious, you just have to be a good girl and take my cock.”
It was easier said than done and everyone in the room save Thor was fully aware of that. The omega’s sweet little whines and cries were causing a massive feedback loop of arousal in the pack’s consciousness and Carol was pretty sure she could hear the sounds of several people going at it but she couldn’t pull her gaze away from where Steve’s cock was drilling into that pretty cunt. Evidently said feedback loop was also affecting Steve, who very suddenly growled possessively.
“Carol, Loki, off,” The prime snapped barely hesitating before dropping his elbows into the pillows on either side of the omega’s head, narrowly avoiding giving his pack mates concussions. “Now.”
Both the alpha and the delta were yanked off the bed by their ankles—well, Carol was yanked off the bed. Loki was yanked off the bed and then promptly thrown into the wall by said ankles. The reinforced exterior wall meant there was only a small dent where the god had landed, but the ensuing ruckus had a strong potential of causing even more damage. Thor immediately turned to deal with the problem, along with several other packmates.
Several things occurred in the next few seconds and the pack would probably fight about what really happened for the next twenty years, but somehow Bucky was thrown through the window and Tony’s right ring finger was broken.
And Wanda—poor Wanda, Thor pushed her out of the way before Bucky could accidentally take her through the window with him. The beta was sent flying, sailing across the bed until she hit the unyielding form of Steve. He startled in shock, immediately drawing back to assess her condition—only for a heel to slam directly into his nose. The prime’s head snapped back from the force, big body falling backwards while his hands scrambled for purchase on his face.
The omega probably would’ve even gotten down the stairs if Natasha hadn’t been ascending the stairs at that moment, having heard the commotion from where she and Clint had been putting away groceries. The redhead smelled her before seeing her, a somewhat sinister grin pulling Nat’s lips when the omega ran directly into her while attempting escape #2.
“Now where are you going, kitten? With that mess dripping down your thighs,” the beta cooed, head tilting as she scented the air. “Why can I smell Steve on you, but not his cum?”
There was a horrible, long pause while the omega seemed to consider her options before landing on Go For Broke. She attempted to dodge past Natasha but the beta’s strong arm immediately lashed around her waist, her superior strength making it easy to force her up the stairs even as she refused to hold her own weight.
Steve met them just two steps from the top, dick out and covered in blood. The prime’s expression wasn’t so much angry as it was disappointed and Natasha hummed in false sympathy.
“Someone’s been naughty, huh kitten?”
content warnings: nonconsensual sex, voyeurism 
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uhlikzsuzsanna · 3 years
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SPOILER WARNING: Do not read if you haven’t seen all of Season 1 of “Loki,” currently streaming on Disney Plus.
Ever since “Loki” first premiered in June, Kate Herron, who directed all six episodes of the Marvel Studios series, has had to pretend like she knew far less than she really does. For one, she couldn’t acknowledge that the homages to sci-fi classics like “Blade Runner” and “Brazil” that she’d baked into the elaborate sets for the Time Variance Authority — the cosmic bureaucracy tasked with maintaining the sacred timeline — were “meant to be sinister” rather than just “playful and quirky.”
For another, Herron was delighted to see fans theorizing after the very first episode that Kang the Conqueror — a character already set to appear in the Marvel Studios feature “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania,” as played by Jonathan Majors — was really pulling the strings of the TVA. But until the finale streamed last Wednesday, she couldn’t even hint that those fans were only half right: Majors does play the mastermind of the TVA, but he’s a variant of Kang referred to as He Who Remains. It’s only after He Who Remains encounters Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and his female variant counterpart Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino), and Sylvie plunges a blade into his heart, that the multiverse is reborn, creating the possibility for Kang the Conqueror to emerge.
Again, though: Herron couldn’t acknowledge any of that, even to those closest to her.
“Nothing has prepared me better for working with Marvel than playing tabletop games with my friends,” she says with a laugh. “It definitely taught me how to have a good poker face. You have to hide your hand — and sometimes lie.”
Now, thankfully, all of that is behind her — as is “Loki” itself. Despite receiving widespread acclaim for her assured, ambitious, and visually sumptuous work directing the show, Herron says she has decided not to return for Season 2 of the series.
“I gave it everything — in my soul, in my heart, everything,” she says. “I feel so proud of the work we’ve done. And yeah, I’ll be enjoying Season 2 as a fan.”
She’s quick to sing the praises of everyone she worked with at Marvel, and she says she’s “sure” she’ll work again with the studio. For now, however, she’s ready to take a holiday, and then turn to a project she’s writing herself “that’s really close to my heart that I really want to make.”
“It’s my own decision, but I just feel like my part with ‘Loki’ is finished now and I’m just excited to see where his story goes,” she says.
Before she parts ways for good, however, Herron spoke with Variety about bringing Jonathan Majors into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, what she thought of the shocking revelation about infinity stones and what she would like to see happen in Season 2.
She always knew “Loki” would introduce Kang and the Multiverse…
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From the very start, Herron says, she and head writer Michael Waldron knew that their six-episode run of “Loki” would always end with Loki and Sylvie meeting He Who Remains at his citadel, the result of which would cause the creation of the multiverse.
As Episode 6 makes clear, both of these events were massive turning points for the future of the MCU — and Herron still can’t quite believe she got to be the one to make them a reality.
“We were just, like, waiting to be told, ‘Actually, guys, we’ve had a change [of heart],'” Herron says. Instead, Herron says she and “Quantumania” director Peyton Reed participated in casting Majors in the role.
“I was just like, pinch me,” she says. “I can’t believe I was at the table for that, because I know it was such a big decision for them all.”
Herron also decided to have Majors provide the voices for all three “Timekeepers” who are supposedly at the head of the TVA, but are revealed by Sylvie to be nothing more than “mindless androids.”
“We didn’t have someone cast for those voices,” she says. “I remember thinking, well, ‘Wizard of Oz’ is clearly a reference for us. We should have the wizard. It’d be great if it’s Jonathan. So we sent him all the art of the timekeepers. And he just kind of came up with these incredible voices for each of them.”
…but not with a cliffhanger.
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The most significant decision of the season, though, may be that it ends with a giant cliffhanger, when Loki discovers he’s in a brand new reality for the TVA in which Mobius (Owen Wilson) and Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku) don’t even recognize him. But while Herron knew how this season of “Loki” would end, at first, she did not know that there would be any more seasons after it.
“When I started, there wasn’t a discussion of Season 2, exactly,” she says. “It was just that season of ‘Loki.’ As we got deeper into production, everyone was very happy, and obviously there’s so much to explore with Loki. It felt like we should continue the story. So I think the cliffhanger ending came in later in the process.”
Herron says she sprinkled in some hints to viewers that Loki is in a new timeline, like redressing sets to look slightly off, and recasting Eugene Cordero’s TVA receptionist Casey as a hunter headed to the armory in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment. But her favorite bit is that the final line — said by Mobius to Loki — is the same as the first line spoken in the show, by a woman in the Gobi desert, also to Loki: “Who are you?”
“That was kind of the question of the whole first season,” Herron says.
She was just as shocked about the Infinity Stones as everyone else.
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In the first episode, Loki discovers to his horror that not only does his magic not work inside the TVA, but Infinity Stones — heretofore believed to be the most powerful objects in the known universe — are just inert rocks there. The revelation sent shockwaves across the Marvel fandom; Herron was right there with them.
“That was in Michael’s script when I first got it to pitch [for the directing job],” she says. “I remember being like, ‘WHAT?! You put me through so much!’ But then I thought, ‘Oh, it’s kind of genius, because it shows how powerful the TVA are. Who are these people? What is this place?'”
Herron especially appreciated how her shock — and the audience’s — mirrored Loki’s own as the rug gets pulled out from under him. “I was quite excited by it,” she says. “It really shows you that there’s a new power in the MCU — and it’s not what we we spent the last decade dedicating our lives to.”
She told Kevin Feige she wanted gender parity among her crew.
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Prior to “Loki,” Herron’s most high profile job was directing the second half of the first season of the Netflix dramedy “Sex Education.” She got the “Loki” job thanks to a 60-page pitch memo that filled out just about every detail of the world of the show. After hiring her, she says Marvel Studios chief Kevin Feige asked her, “What are your terms?”
“This was the first time I was gonna get to hire my heads of department on a television show I worked on,” she says. “I was like, I’d really love [the crew] to be 50/50 across gender.”
Herron says she wasn’t out to fill any jobs on the film with a specific gender. But, she says, “There aren’t enough women in these roles. They’re out there. It’s a lack of opportunity. It’s not a lack of interest.”
She did end up hiring two women for critical roles that are still rarely occupied by women: cinematographer Autumn Durald (“The Sun Is Also a Star”) and composer Natalie Holt (History’s “Knightfall”).
“I felt like she was inside my mind,” Herron says of Durald. “We have the same taste. And I love the way that she talks about light as a character.”
Herron hired Holt unusually early for a composer, after she’d completed editing the first episode during the pandemic shutdown. She knew that the particular sci-fi film noir look of the show that she was developing with Durald needed similarly unique music, and she liked that part of Holt’s pitch was focusing on Loki’s identity as a character.
“Her music then started to inspire how I wanted to shoot other scenes,” Herron says. She’s especially enamored of Holt’s vision for her dynamic and foreboding theme for the TVA.
“She was like, ‘Oh, let’s have that theme be Kang’s’ — well, He Who Remains, I guess, in our show. But I hope that will go on to be Kang’s theme. That was the real fun of it is that you feel like he’s really played a hand now across the whole show, because you realize that music is his music.”
Herron, Durald, and Holt all deliver distinctive and superlative work that’s nothing like the MCU has quite seen before — and nothing quite like anything previously in their careers, either. And that’s entirely the point.
“I think for us, it was about just showing people what we could do and that we could do it at this level,” Herron says.
The episode in which Loki comes out as bisexual was inspired by Alfonso Cuarón and Richard Linklater.
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Every episode of “Loki” features multiple extended scenes of two characters just talking to one another, a rarity in a comic book production. Herron says that cutting Episode 1 together during the pandemic lockdown and seeing the scenes between Loki and Mobius (Owen Wilson) play out so well “definitely gave us confidence” to continue that rhythm for the rest of the show.
That was especially true for Episode 3. Written by Bisha K. Ali (who went on to create the upcoming Marvel Studios series “Ms. Marvel”), the episode is essentially an extended meet-cute between Loki and Sylvie as they get to know each other on a planet doomed for total annihilation.
“Bisha’s reference was ‘Before Sunrise’ and ‘Children of Men,'” says Herron. “And it lit my brain on fire. It was kind of weird. It was almost like a bottle episode in the sense that we’re just with the two characters, but obviously, it’s Marvel, right? So they’re bonding in this Apocalypse, which also feels very Loki at the same time.”
That episode is best known for making Marvel Studios history, when Loki casually mentions that he’s had dalliances with both men and women. Herron says that when she first interviewed for the job, she asked if the show was going to acknowledge Loki’s sexuality, which had long been established in the comics as bisexual or pansexual.
“I think everyone wanted to acknowledge it,” she says. “It was just really about giving a care and consideration and doing it in the right way. I think everyone knew it was gonna be quite a big moment. So it was just really about doing it in a way that felt respectful. And honoring it.”
Herron also confirms what many fans had suspected, that she deliberately made the lighting scheme for the scene evoke the blue, purple and red of the bisexual flag. “We knew what we were doing with that scene,” she says with a smile.
She has a lot of ideas for what she’d like to see in Season 2.
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Since Herron will be watching Season 2 of “Loki” only “as a fan,” she is also free to wildly speculate as to what she’d most like to see happen — like how, wherever Loki story leads, “we’ve opened the door” for the character to explore his sexuality with men as well as women.
Otherwise? She says she wants to know where Judge Ravonna Renslayer (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) goes to when she leaves the TVA in search, she tells Mobius, of “free will.”
“I love her,” Herron says. “Gugu used to always call her an indoor girl, which made me laugh, but she is. She’s in the office, but she used to be this kick-ass Hunter. So I’m like, Okay, well, where’s her path going?”
Herron is also keen to learn more about Hunter B-15’s backstory — since she deliberately decided to hide it in the scene in Episode 4 when Sylvie shows B-15 her repressed memories as a variant.
“I was like, we shouldn’t see her memories,” Herron says. “It’s a character that thought they had power and realizes they have no power. It felt really powerful to at least give her some power in that scenario. The memories are private. They’re hers.” She pauses. “Also as a fan, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, who is she?!'”
“And obviously, you know, Loki and Sylvie?” Herron continues, on a roll. “He’s in a completely different reality. What’s going to happen to him? How will he get back? Or will he get back? And where’s Sylvie? She’s still in the Citadel? And the multiverse of it all. What the hell is going to happen?!”
Herron chuckles at her own excitement. “So I think there’s so many questions to be answered, and so much more road to travel with all our characters,” she says. “You know, I’m really proud that I got to set up Loki’s story here. But there’s so many different aspects of his identity and personality that’s yet to be explored. I’m excited to see where it goes.”
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