#i was like 10 or 12 yo when i first read this thing (it's actually a kid book amusingly enough)

[thewritingpossum]

Currently rereading this french scifi book that's all about a bunch of medievalish people building this absurdly high cathedral (and by 'high' i mean that none of the living human in this book ever got out of what they call the cathedral and touched the actual ground)in an attempt to reach God but then the big plot twist is that the ruling class are actually a bunch of almost immortal alien beings who accidentally crashed on Earth during the actual Middle Ages, need to be at a certain height to launch their rocket and go back to their planet and therefore used the people's faith and whatever ingineering they had at this point to reach their goals, not caring that it would take centuries and centuries because it's litterally just a few hours for them and honestly this could be such a cool movie, somebody please adapt this thing right now

[forgotten-daydreamer]

knowing im going to die very young somehow doesnt make the psychological violence any easier to bear

[liquidluckandstuff]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thank you for tagging me @racfoam (oh my gosh these are a lot of questions

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have a total of 21 fics 😅

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

182,399.... dayum

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry potter and only Harry potter. I'm TRYING to put in effort into other things, but they just don't hold my attention.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Heaven is your sleeping Enemy

Phantom Touch

Just Another Omegaverse Fic

Darlings and Dragons

Found Footage

5. Do you respond to comments? Why? Why not?

I respond to most comments. I love it when people comment. It makes me happy to hear what people think about my fics. or that they are just reading it at all.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Heartbreaking Confession. It has to be one of the shortest things i've ever written but man, there is just no hope.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

His Brave Boy . It just got attention recently due to a tik tok and i CRIED. I love this little one shot so much.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

The only reason i've ever gotten hate on a fic is because people don't want to read tags or think they can dictate how my story is going to progress.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have a whole ass second account for my smut fics thank you very much.

SolidMisfortuneandThings

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I mean it's got Dungeons and Dragons vibes.

The only other cross over fic i've ever written I orphaned along with all my other stuff many years ago.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! and surprise surprise it was the smut

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sort of? We collaborated and then life happened

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

HARRYMORT. Not tomarry. (i mean i like tomarry and all) but Harry and Voldemort.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One i have saved with 20k words in my documents about Harry having actual prophetic dreams about death because of the killing curse and through that ends up saving the minister of magic and being adopted by Voldemort.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Yo man idk thats too much internal thinking for me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sentence structure. Grammar. Confidence.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't even try. I say either the main character didn't understand it, generalize the conversation, or mention that its in another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

..... Final Fantasy

20. Favourite fics you’ve written?

DARLINGS AND DRAGONS. IT IS MY BABY AND I LOVE IT

Tagging: @i-dream-of-libraries @cloverwoodss @queasyghosts @reggieblk @zombu7 @vyrid I don't remember everyones tumblr i am so sorry

[this-daydream-is-dangerous-13]

Daylight MV by Harry Styles - why was it not the unreleased Two Ghosts MV 2.0? A timeline.

This video, released on July 19, 2023, is jam packed with Blondie and Haylor references. I think it was almost the sister project to the never released Two Ghosts MV…until it wasn’t. And I have an idea as to why.

Don’t believe me that it’s Haylor AF? Go read this amazing summary by @womanexile at whose request I am writing this timeline.

As we know, Harry was filming the video on and around May 10 and 11, 2022, based in articles and pap/drone photos from the time, like this Daily Mail article:

Let’s review the timeline:

April 22, 2022 - Harry performs at Coachella weekend 2 in Indio, CA.

April 26, 2022 - OW is onstage at CinemaCon in Las Vegas when she is served custody papers. H is not there.

But where is H? According to the article - circus training!

Late April/early May - Harry starts training in Kent, England with family-owned Sanctus Circus.

From the article:

“A source told [the publication]: Harry has spent weeks being taught circus skills for this video — he wanted it to be a real spectacle.

'It is probably his most expensive video yet because as well as all the rehearsals, it was a huge set with loads of extras and really extravagant costumes'.

The source revealed to the publication that the singer pushed himself to the limit in order to perform the stunts. Adding: 'It's been a real undertaking and the finished product will prove why he's one of the biggest pop stars in the world.' “

So late April - May 11 - circus stuff. Which is part time and on-and-off, I imagine. Then filming. And this was an UNDERTAKING that would have required a lot of planning.

He even arranged to have live animals, as outlined here in an article with the horse and parrot handlers:

Some take aways:

- he was supposed to the riding *the WHITE horse*. And when that didn’t work, he ensured the white horse remained in the shot.

- they only had a short time to teach him with the animals, but he listened and did exactly what they said.

- the legendary Styles charm extends to grumpy parrots named Poppleguy. “He's a little bit picky and he went straight on Harry Styles' shoulder, the sign of a good vibe," [his owner] said.”

Who can resist this man?!

But he HAS to know that he’ll get questions about the song title, since it shares a name with a song by Blondie. And he gets photographed making this video - articles about it start appearing May 12, 2022.

So what does he do next? Creates a smoke screen! Good thing two of his best friends—Ben Winston and James Corden—run a late night show known for outrageous bits with musicians. And he has a long history of doing crazy things with them, so no one will bat an eye.

He heads off to NYC for Harry’s House promo and ONO, but first — he has a DUPLICATE video to shoot.

And it’s hilarious, watching him shock and delight a quartet of Brooklyn residents and their friends:

And look at the clapperboard to date it:

Bottom right - MAY 17/22.

The next morning, May 18, he is on air with Howard Stern who immediately brings up Blondie (look at H’s usual TS grin!!). And watch him evade:

“You’re reading too much into it…I know you’d like me to tell you ‘you’re spot on’ but…yeah, you’re not.”

But you know who thinks Howard actually is Spot On? Harry’s Mom!!

The Late Late Daylight video airs on May 26/27, 2022 (depending on your time zone). And here is Anne’s IG story when she watches it:

And then - Harry keeps the circus video in his pocket. For FIFTEEN MONTHS. And makes and releases other videos.

There’s background speculation that the still images captured (Birdrry) might be for a Daydreaming or Grapejuice or other video, despite the bird. After all - we already have a Daylight MV!

And then, on July 18th, 2023 at his penultimate HSLOT concert in Lisbon, Harry has the bird image shown on the screen as he finishes singing Daylight.

After the concert, we learn that the video will drop in July 19th at 5pm UK, 12 pm Eastern.

And while the As It Was video promo stated: “It’s just us”, this one proclaims “It’s just a video, just for you.”

Which naturally leads us to this parallel:

And it is followed by the 10-minute 2nd encore piano ballad at the final HSLOT concert on July 22, introduced in Italian by saying “I wrote this for you, just for tonight.”

**My theory - its release is another in a long line of grand gestures designed to remind and assure Blondie of his ongoing, perpetual love and devotion.**

[sharky857]

20 Questions for Writers

Got tagged by @valkeakuulas :D

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25 at the moment.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

It appears that it's 161,853

3. What fandoms do you write for?

This ones (+ some more that live rent-free in my head and never saw the light)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In case Tumblr won't let zoom in on the thing, from left to right: - Unwanted Visitor - Stupid Mistakes - Sour Dreams - Idiot Sandwich - Born Again

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! :D Even for something as simple as a "thank you".

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Something IL related from years ago (not on AO3). Back then part of the old fandom had dived into the doomiest & gloomiest collective musing ever called "okay but there will be one day when all the current humans will be either flippin' old or deceased, and the same can also happen to the leaguers, yanno? There's only this itty-bitty question of how our robutts would go through this. 🤔"

... Fun times. :°D

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Usually, my fics all have a happy (or neutral, at least) ending. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not happened so far. *catch me knocking on wood*

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I used to write smuts, always following the "here's an actual plot, here's the snusnu part, and here's the ending" kind of scheme.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope, but they also live rent-free in my head.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Does "they pulled a pathetic attempt at recreating one of the fics out of retaliation or something and only made it the cringiest mess ever that everyone brutally mocked them for quite a while until they deleted it" count?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, back when I was moving my (very first) baby steps with English. I would write fics in Italian, and then a friend of mine would translate them in English.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

YES! :D Me and @evol-astraea did it a few times.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My longestest Transformers (G1) fic ever.

The reason: I was so hyper-focused on typing that past a certain point I didn't realise I was NOT saving the progress anymore. Them MS Word did a crash. It was still without that feature to recover the documents, and I never recovered from those +10 pages lost. :°)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Idk, honestly :°°°D

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes, I guess.

And that forever-lingering feeling that there are parts in a fic that don't feel like they convey the specific feeling as they should, but also I wouldn't even know how to tweak/improve it, so in the end I just leave it as it is.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's fun! :D A little less fun when the character is a canon known to have a particular accent, and you, as a non-native, have absolutely no idea how to put said accent into words. :°D

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Not really a "fandom" since back then there was just me and this friend of mine, but... Spirou et Fantasio (the 90s toon/comic series).

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I have a quite a few that I like to go and re-read from time to time, but can't pick just one.

Tagging @evol-astraea, @missanthropicprinciple, @antsupuff and @alucardy2000 (shush, comics are a hybrid of fan art & fic 😛)

I'll be following Kuulas' example and leave the blank list of questions down here 👇

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

[cxhleel108]

S7 Thots for this week: Why is everyone here actually delusional asf???

(Apologies for posting this late guys I was very tired when I started writing this…I was also high asf so be mindful of that while you read lol.)

• Oh great now #Raphne is going through shit and everyone’s gonna have to dedicate their whole life to fixing it!

• Bryson laying it on THICC this morning I know dats rightttt😛😛😛

• No seriously why ze fook are we helping them with their issues? I need these people to go back to university or wherever and take a communication course cuz y’all are clearly lacking.

• Tanya so messy for asking that. Girl you know exactly who tf it is why you lowkey telling on yourself like that?😭😭😭

• #Raphne is 100% completely done y’all omg! (Bullshit)

• NO YOU WILL NOT!

• Willow is STILL talking as if anybody give af about what she got to say. Someone get this woman a hobby I’m begginggggg.

• I love having bathing suits worth mentioning now😍

• Ain’t no way they tryna force a argument between me and my partner over this Raf and Daphne mess…bitch.

• WE DONT HAVE TO AGREE ON EVERY SINGLE THING TO BE IN SYNC THATS NOT HOW COUPLES OR HUMANS WORK!

• Talk less sir.

• Why is there always some of the girls trading jealous looks when it comes to this challenge. The point is to literally kiss everyone and y’all still be getting salty, get over it??? Maybe I’m just crazy but I would literally not care.

• Once again Willow is putting on a show for her imaginary friends and nobody in the real world is gagging.

• Wow, now all of a sudden we don’t know how to kiss each other properly because we couldn’t help another couple stop arguing over fucking sheets😕

• How am I having more chemistry with Raf than my own man? God help us.

• Omg Evan came back for me y'all😍😍😍😍😍

• Paying gems magically brings back chemistry to our couple I guess.

• Girl you deserve a 10 backwards.

• That joke bullshit…BOO! CORNY! LAME! 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

• Bryson real lucky he’s cute or I wouldn’t allow him to be acting like a 12 year old about his feelings.

• #Raphne is back together woohoo! (They’re literally gonna break it off again as soon as Daphne founds out bout Raf’s crush)

• Don't force me to have a moment with her ew! That ho is NOT my friend.

• There’s quite literally no reason to speak to everyone about the recoupling. NO REASON!

• Outfit time!🤩

• Eat! Eat! Eat!

• Thought Bryson was finna ask us to be his girlfriend right then and there ugh I need him to hurry up.

• CAN YOU ALL LEAVE US THE ABSOLUTE FUCK ALONE LIKE GODDAMN????

• Vicky if you can see how close me and Bryson are then why would you…never mind why even ask at this point.

• Bonnie has been trying to get with Tanya since the beginning of time. Girl just give up PLEASE.

• Girl who tf is you-

• Why did we get dressed up just to go speak to 3 people???????????? Chile anyways it’s outfit time AGAIN✨

• EAT! EAT! EAT!

• LMAOOOO she's such a loser I almost feel bad...almost.

• Uma you know good and well you meant to record them boys fighting. Fuck outta here with that excuse💀

• Y'all will not let Jake REST oh my goodness.

• Oooo y’all the way Bryson is fighting for us…kinda feeling butterflies in my stomach and elsewhere🤭🤭🤭

• Everyone here is so delusional when it comes to Tanya holy fuck. Actually no, this happens every season. Why do some of these people think that just because THEY feel a good connection with MC that automatically means she wants them? Like baby that’s not how this works…

• Oh Bryson don't end half of the villa like that-

• Daphne don’t ask me if I think you and yo man gon make it niece you don’t want my answer to that lmao.

• 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

• Why y’all ain’t make us do a surprise dumping so we could get Willow out? WHY IS SHE STILL HERE SHE LITERALLY HAS NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE NOW????

• Oh I can tell you how! First, we're gonna walk in there and start marveling at every single thing in the room, specifically the bed, even though we've already been in there. Then, bet y'all won't see this coming, we're gonna find a box filled with naughty things😱😱😱 After that, we get to work and all that can be registered is the feeling of our partner's soft lips and how their hands caress our body in every place possible and then after a while we both reach our climax at the same time. Then our partner says they love us blah blah blah, we get some text about what's happening tomorrow and it's prolly the baby challenge or something equally stupid and ridiculous, and then we cuddle up and go to bed.

• If everything I just said is in next week's hideaway scene, everyone who likes this post owes me $10. I'm just playing, we all know everything I said is definitely happening. Keep your money💖

[mommalosthermind]

Gonna do that thing where I rant about how other people confuse the shit out of me for a sec-

Because, honestly, is it a new thing? To be this up in everyone’s parenting? OR. Have i managed to mostly avoid this (from strangers. Family I’ve just. Stopped talking to.) by not having any friends as a kid and then also only recently being tricked into talking to neighbors by my Extreme Golden Retriever of a youngest child? I do not fucking get it.

*no*, mom up the street, I would NOT like to get a watch like your kid has, I do not care that it’s only $10/m on your phone plan. I do not need more bills, for starters!! I have three kids, you think i should be dropping 30/m? On a watch that’s more phone than watch? Girlie, they do not HAVE phones for a fucking reason. Several reasons. Oh, it’s for your peace of mind. Right. Well. Here’s a piece of mine:

I do not need to be strapping an expensive piece of tech onto my black hole of a kid. My son’s bedroom door has a hole large enough for a toddler to crawl through. I *know* he will break the damn thing if it’s not lost within 12 hours. And maybe it’s just me but buying something with the SOLE PURPOSE OF CONSTANTLY SPYING ON MY KID seems like a BAD FUCKING PRECEDENT actually!!

“But he’s only 11!! What if he gets kidnapped! Or hit by a truck! Or lost! Or abducted by aliens!!”

Baby girl you watch too many cop shows. There’s no huge spike in violence, there’s better reporting and fear-mongering coverage. Do you think everyone is out to get you, specifically, because you watch too many cop shows, or because you’re so deep in your weird little cult that the brown kid across the street is the enemy despite being a grand ten years old?

My kid is just as safe—is actually more safe than I was as a kid, because a decent chunk of my hill town life I was on what amounted to a highway. That i was crossing regularly. By myself. Sometimes on a bike, to go read at the reservoir, or the river, or the school. Alone. By my self!! Where no one knew where I was because that was the entire point!! OH! And sometimes!! Not willingly at all!! Because when the fucking dogs got out I would stick my arm through the collar and get my ass dragged to the cemetery because there was no way my 80lb ass was stopping the nearly 300lb Great Dane that wanted to hang out with the birds across the highway but if I wasn’t with the damn dog when the neighbors alerted my mother I would be so very unbelievably dead. Anyway. I am not dead. I was not spied on by anything other than neighbors and the going-to-work traffic that became to used to watching me get dragged by dogs that they would just. Drive to my mother’s work and be like yo, your kid is flapping in the wind behind Hercules again.

I had to deal with MOOSE. I had to haul ass into the house because a mama bear wanted her kids to play on my swing set. I had to cross four fucking lanes of traffic to get to the park. I did not get a cellphone until I was sixteen, driving, and had a job, and even then it was because my mother gave me the first one because, and I quote, “when your ass makes a wrong turn and ends up in canada, you should maybe tell me.”

My youngest! Is wandering around the same three fucking self-contained streets! No one even comes down here unless they live here because there is nowhere to go. This is hilariously the most insulated place I have ever lived and I hate it so much because I can see into about eight different house from my backyard. I feel so watched all the time. Literally what do you think is going to happen if you don’t have a constant bead on your kid other than your kid having serious issues as an adult.

ANYWAY. That got away from me. The POINT. I am not making at all here is that I do not understand the need to be constantly spying on your kids in the name of safety. I don’t care how often you make sideways comments about how I’m a bad, neglectful parent. Especially from a woman who taught her kid that ‘you’re a good Christian’ is the highest compliment, and the word ‘lesbian’ is a heinous curse word punishable by like, death, or something.

I hate that I can’t exist anywhere in the world without being spied on or recorded, why the fuck would I normalize that for my kids who are independent people who deserve privacy and the right to learn how to be a person WITHOUT ME hovering?

Let! The kid! Roam! He’s got a watch! It tells the fucking time! He knows when to be home! And he’s in his own neighborhood, making friends and learning how to be something that isn’t me!

[dragonflies-draw-flame]

10 fandoms/10 characters

Many thanks to @tomatette, @jaynesilver, and @fallingdeeperintothispit for tagging me 😁.

Star Wars (Sequels): Armitage Hux. I really do love Kylo too—Ren is such an interesting, dramatic character, and he's absolutely perfect for Hux, seriously. But Hux with his emotional unavailability, hard, overly-composed exterior, his passion/drive to the point of his own detriment, traumatic past...he's everything I could want in a character, because I am also all of these hard-to-love things (though thankfully minus the space fascism).

Star Wars (Prequels): Anakin Skywalker. Look, I know he's a bit whiny sometimes but damn if I don't love a murderous pretty boy on a fool's errand for the person he loves. Mystical space powers and dramatic sweeping outfits are just an added bonus.

Beauty and the Beast: the Beast. For the handful of people following my BatB Kylux fic, this is TOTALLY shocking, I know (and also you guys are amazing ❤️). I do love Belle—she's a book-loving introvert, so that's a given. But the Beast (notice I didn't say Prince Adam)...yeah, I did NOT know how to deal with my attraction to him when I was younger. Mercurial, cursed, awkwardly endearing, dark-haired, passionate, and desirously fluffy?! Wears dramatic capes, has an enchanted rose determining his future, and has the library of my dreams that he is willing to share?? What the fuck more could I want?!

LOTR trilogy: Aragorn. Do I really need to explain that to anyone?? (Also: sorry, Legolas...you were a VERY close second).

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Jemma Simmons. Brilliant, adorable style, much more resilient than she looks. Her quote that goes "Past events...have shown me that I’m not good at improvisation. However, I excel at preparation" is not that great out of context here, unfortunately, but regardless, it was so validating to me. Me too, Jemma!!

Once Upon a Time: Killian Jones (Captain Hook). My husband loves this show, so we have watched it so many times. Hook is a seductive, charming bad boy who eventually really does try his best. And his pirate get-up? UGH, have mercy. (Also, wow, apparently I really, really have a thing for pretty, dark-haired, dangerous men who wear mostly black INCLUDING at least one garment that falls to at least knee length. Huh. That's...rather specific.)

Harry Potter: Hermione Granger. I related hard to a bookish girl who had a hard time making friends when I read these in grade school.

Howl's Moving Castle: Howl. I did not know how to process the extent to which I was attracted to him either, especially because he's not even human some of the time (which I liked, a lot). It was a revelation to find the world of online fanfic where I was very much not alone in those kind of thoughts!

Mean Girls: Janis Ian. Yeah, I know Janis does some shitty things in this movie, but she is unapologetic about who she is. I totally admired her boldness in high school, especially since I too dealt with the horror of rumors being spread about my sexuality (except the ones about me were true ahaha). And I always leaned much more Victorian goth than punk, but I nonetheless appreciated her style as well.

t.A.T.u.: Lena. I would be remiss to leave off this duo, even if they were a musical group, which is not one of my usual fandom sources. BUT they were the first pairing I actually read fanfic about online, way back when, and wrote a ton for them too (unpublished). For a 12-year-old who was struggling massively with...well, everything, but especially feeling incredibly alone and terrified of my sexuality, their music video/song "All the Things She Said" blew my mind. Unfortunately I never got my own chance to make out/run away with a pretty redhead in the rain, but still.

Tagging: I think I've seen this done by most people I follow already? But if you haven't done this and are reading it, please consider yourself tagged and do so, if you wish! I love these get-to-know-you things and would genuinely love to hear about you :).

[blackfire-fanfiction]

Did someone say propaganda? Anyway here’s a little thing for the @tmnt-crossover-polls. It’s actually the first thing I’ve written for the same raph au (masterpost here), so it might be a little rough

Basic summary of the same raph au: 12 Raph and Rise Raph are the same person. He switches bodies (and dimensions) randomly whenever he sleeps/is unconscious. Raph eventually learns how to balance both lives. Important context: if both bodies are somehow in the same dimension, only one of them is concious.

2012 turtles: Leo, Donnie, Mikey Rise turtles: Leon, Dee, Angelo Corvus (Previously known as the Handler) is a crow/raven yokai OC that appears in the kidnapped arc of the SRAUC Also Slash is here too, don’t worry about it :)

----

Shouts of surprise as a group of 10 fell from a flash of light.

Everyone stood up from the haphazard positions they ended up on the floor, and Leo was the first to scan the group for anything out of place.

“Everyone good?” He asked, taking in everything.

“Besides the fact that we weren’t supposed to be meeting up for a while? Yep, just peachy.” Leon grumbled.

“Come on, Leon, don’t be like that,” Angelo said. “It’s always great to see our brothers from another dimension!”

“Yeah, just ignore your brother that’s trapped underneath himself. That’s just fine.” Raph said in monotone from where he was stuck under the body of his larger body.

“I got you bro,” Slash gently dragged the unconscious body off of the turtle.

“Thanks, Slash.” Raph went to push himself up when a feathered hand was offered to him. “And Corvus! What are you doing here?”

“Oh god, Slash is here?” Donnie looked horrified as Raph talked to the mute bird yokai.

“Ooo, Slash is here,” Dee grinned. “This should be fun.”

“Where is here, anyway?”

“GUYS! The stickers on our plastrons respawn when you take them off!” Mikey bounced into view, a pile of stickers discarded on the floor.

“Huh, same raph au? Wait, where are we actually?” Leon looked around.

The space was filled with other versions of them, and with some people that they couldn’t recognize at all.

“Woah,” Angelo gasped.

“Tmnt poll competition?” Donnie read from a banner. “Maybe we’re-”

“It appears as if we’re in a sub-dimensional space where alternate versions of us are gathered to compete in some way.” Dee interrupted. “As Mikey and Leon have discovered, we have tags to show which dimension we belong to.”

“Was it necessary to interrupt?” Donnie frowned.

Dee just smirked.

“Donnies, can you play nice for once?” Raph said in a warning tone at the same time Leo said “Chill out, guys. It’s not the end of the world.”

“Wait, where’d Mikey and Slash go?” Angelo looked around, confused. “And Corvus, I can’t see them either.”

Raph shrugged. “They’ll find us eventually. Now, does anyone want to help me move my big body to somewhere out of the way? I don’t want anyone tripping.”

Meanwhile

“Yo, other me, is that your brother dragging that big spiky turtle across the floor?” A Mikey with the tag Sunset Linings asked.

“Hm? Oh yeah. Raph probably thought he’d be in the way being in the middle of the room like that.”

“What?”

“Anyway, I’m excited to see who will win in the first round! Your group seems really cool, especially that big gloomy guy. I should probably meet up with my bros, but good luck in the competition!”

[kickin-the-kool-kid]

Hey Hey Hey! Info post time yo!

'Kay okay! Welcome to this info post!! Now, it may not seem much, but I spent quite a bit of time on this, so hopefully it is readable, so now Look no further than the info below, and begin reading! Unless you Like, y'know, dislike reading, but I doubt that. Hope you're okay with Headcanons.

I'll start off with the basic info first, and then make my way up to the More, er.... advanced? stuff! If I'm even able to do that in the first place

1: He can be a little self-centered sometimes.

2: He is surprisingly a pacifist, he never fights unless it's in self-defense, even then he usually avoids attacking and tries to defuse the situation or avoid getting hit until they calm down or someone breaks it up.

3: He makes sure to spend every morning keeping his body clean and radical!

4: He suffers from ADHD. (projecting)

5: He has a regular workout routine with Hoppy.

6: He is the master of skating, the coolest sport, or atleast says it's the coolest, he's also surprisingly good at chest.

7: He, having a daredevil mindset, enjoys doing dangerous stunts, some of which seemed to be certain death if he didn't land them!

8: He is rather inconsistent with his bravery and fear, you could give him the most horrifying horror game possible, and he wouldn't flinch, but if you started to randomly flicker the lights on and off whilst he's alone in a room, he'll scream like that's the scariest thing that happened to him.

9: He is extremely competitive, seemingly always wanting to be in first place in everything, actually he always wants to strangely enough, even in the most basic of things that aren't even a competition, like waking up first or finishing breakfast first. He even acts just like a child when they accidently break their parent's expensive vase!

10: He often butts heads with Hoppy alot, she's his main rival, and best friend, best rival friends you could say, you can't call them frenemies because their rivalry is in a friendly way.

11: He and Hoppy are better and worse than each other in certain things, amplifying their semi-constant need to compete against eachother.

12: He's southern, growing up on the countryside before moving into a semi-urban area.

13: He multiple things he finds 'cool', roller skates, skateboards, spray paint cans, and much more.

14: He has a VERY minor criminal record, most of them being criminal mischief, and he only received fines for them, Damage of private property(breaking a window), graffiti(spray painted a computer company's wall), he tampered with a fire extinguisher, spraying it randomly, quite stupid of him, and finally once again, damage of private property(he smashed his skateboard through a car's back windshield when he attempted to ride off a ramp over it).

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hi!

Do you remember how you got obsessed with Jalice? What was it that got you so intensely involved in them & twilight?

For example, when its comes to me, everything started with this one video edit on YT, and then I read STL and @flowerslut ‘s CotN, and ohmy its was the beginning of the end for me, lol) 12-old me watched Twilight and was like “meh”, 19 yo me read Jalice and was like “ooh”. And then, I uploaded tumblr because I wanted to follow you, and got sucked into Twilight Renaissance mayhem. So, yeah, “story of my life” as Rihanna’s song goes.

What about you?

❤️

OH, I actually know this one! Which is kind of weird for me, my fandom acquisition is usually very odd.

Rewind back to Twilight's release (I actually have the OG Twilight release with the Alice cover somewhere), I was 18-19 and was enriched for about 10 minutes and then realized that I actually found it a deeply flawed and unsatisfying story, but I already know that I was here for Alice and Jasper only (though I have a vivid memory of opening my brand new copy of New Moon outside the post-office and being delighted when I saw Emmett's name on the page. No other context for that memory except that I was horrified how much paperback copies of New Moon and Eclipse cost me).

I have the recollection of reading one specific Jalice fic back then that didn't really spark joy, but that was about the sum of my investment in the OG Twilight fandom.

My sister dragged me to the first movie, I cackled at how Carlisle looked like he'd been dowsed with powdered sugar, was highly disappointed in the costumes and Alice's story being cut out of the movie, and moved on with my life.

Fast forward to 2014. I was heavily into the MCU, and was pretty fucking invested in Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes (the superior Marvel cartoon, fyi), and was pretty enriched by one Janet Van Dyne and her dynamic with Captain America. Sadly, the cartoon had been axed for a hot minute by then and the fic was pretty limited. I'd say there were 10? Which lasted me exactly half an hour.

I was also working an internship and a full-course load and would end up spiraling into a Majorly Depressed Girl Summer, so my nighttime thing was to collapse on my couch with my iPad, the remote, and an ice pack for my headache and just read fic. But I was out. I had no Janet/Steve fic left that I hadn't essentially memorized.

So what ship would give me the exact same vibes (smol and hyper, tall and stern)? That had a whole bunch of fic available?

Alice and Jasper were right fucking there.

Around this time (November 30, 2014) as well, ABC Kids decided to play Breaking Dawn which was the fucking *weirdest* combination. I have no idea what the American equivalent would be, tbh. But Breaking Dawn on ABC *Kids*? That was a goddamn joke in itself, so OF COURSE I watched it. And Part 2 when it played (Lee Pace was a welcome surprise, as was Rami Malek.)

And I was like, welp, let's just fucking *go*. I spent the summer reading every Jalice fic on FF.Net *eye-twitch* and then I started writing it because the initial vibes had fit my needs, but now I was invested in writing - specifically, human Alice/vampire Jasper. That genre is like crack to me, and I will do it a million times over and still be having a great time.

[black-paraphernalia]

 Fifty things NOT to say to black people by Odessa s. Hamilton

Black people are habitually exposed to harmful discourse, even by those who by all other intents and purposes are anti-racist. Odessa Hamilton developed an informal online poll to hear from black people the kinds of comments they have heard first-hand from non-blacks. 

She captured 101 distinct comments and here presents the 50 most heinous or recurring ones. She says that, although painful on both sides, honest conversations are necessary.

Although some tropes may resonate with other ethnic communities, this is a small step toward making clear what things are not appropriate to say to black people (even in satire).

Irrespective of race, most will have the human capacity to appreciate the absurdity, and, to some degree, the farcicality of this terrain of insults that black people are forced to traverse. Some readers may be alarmed by what is yet to come, so take a deep breath, relax… then imagine living it daily!

 (The above excerpt taken ) please read the entire article click the above title link. We will just list the 50 points here. Although, written in the UK it still apply everywhere - you are encouraged to read the article in full.

Appearance

1. You’re really pretty for a black girl.

2.  Are you lips real?

3. You’re like black black!

4. Can I touch your hair? (OR they lunge in without asking).

5. You’re so lucky to have a natural tan.

6. I didn’t realise black people could grow real eyebrows.

7. You’re not black, you must be mixed with something, because you’re so light-skinned.

8. Any “coloured” descriptor (I’m not a box of crayons).

Education

9. You speak so articulately.

10. You’re actually really smart.

11. Who taught you how to speak English?

12. You know so many words?

13. Wow, you got into Oxford, were you a diversity candidate?

14. Don’t research race; you’ll end your career before it’s even started.

15. Are you first in your family to be educated?

16. You don’t sound black AT ALL.

17. Teach me some slang.

Work

18. We can’t attract or keep black employees, it’s like they don’t wanna work.

19.  I’m SO sorry, I didn’t think you worked here (after calling security).

20. You should meet X, you’ll REALLY get on (both being black).

21. I love your hair straight; it looks so much more professional.

22. How do you make your money? (I work like everyone else).

23. We’ll address it, but just be careful not to play the ‘Race Card’ (after reporting a racial incident).

24. I like you! You’re surprisingly professional.

25. You could definitely pass as one of ‘us’.

26. You must be struggling through COVID (responding to inequality statistics).

Identity

27. Do you have a Mum AND a Dad?

28. Are you from Africa or Jamaica?

29. You’re a good mix (like a cockerpoo or labradoodle).

30. Do you snack on dry bones?

31. Where are you really from?

32. Can black people really be Muslim?

33. Do you eat with your hands at home?

34. Can we just use your initials?

35. That smells funny… What are you eating?

36. I was so shocked to see black Jews on TV.

37. (Siobhan, Saoirse and Leigh get to keep their names but…) Your name is too hard to pronounce, so I’m going to call you X (typically a Westernised adaptation).

Bizarre

38. Do you have any weed?

39. Why can’t black people swim?

40. Have you been to jail, even for a little while?

41. What colour is your blood?

42. How can I be racist, my X is black?

43. Yo my G/N*****! (or other attempts at Ebonics).

44. I’m sorry for my ancestors (when you just wanted a coffee).

45. Do have cars where you’re from?

46. What’s happening in Africa? (I’m not a newscaster)

47. I’ve always wondered what it would be like in black skin.

48. I think black people are really cool. (All black people, everywhere?).

49. I don’t see colour.

50. Why do “black Lives Matter” – don’t all lives matter? (Are all lives undervalued?)

Having made it through to the end – mostly unscathed – try to unravel those comments from egregiously racist slurs. It is uncomfortable and not straightforward. 

There is no expectation of an espousal of views, but rather an attunement to these common experiences, as we take preliminary steps toward honest and respectful dialogues that challenge such benighted messaging. (excerpt)

BLACK PARAPHERNALIA DISCLAIMER - PLEASE READ

[themagnusbane]

Gap The Series Episode 02 Thoughts

1. Everyone calls her Mon. But you can call her future wife. Love of my life. Walking goddess. Baby girl. The choices are endless Sam!!

2. Hfffgghhfhh. Or babe. Babe is a good pick too 😂😂.

3. Aaaaaand we have our first eye-fucking of the episode!!! This show’s like we know lesbians. Half of their foreplay is eye-fucking, and we aim to be as accurate as possible. To which I say, thank you for the blessing and consideration 🙌🏾🙌🏾

4. Oh Sam dearest. She’s not saying you’re old. She’s calling you Mommy!! 😏

5. Hear that “Your Line in my phone. Now” voice??? And you wonder why she calls you Mommy 😂😂

6. I feel you Sam! If my crush gave me their jacket, I’m never washing it, or taking it off!!!

7. Thanks for clearing his dumbass Mon. He really has no claim to jealousy. Also, dumbass legit thinks it’s straight behaviour to be obsessed with a woman and plan your life around her for over a decade 🤣🤣🤣🤣

8. Mon you silly child. Send the message!!!

9. Find you friends who call you stupid as a sign of affection 😂😂

10. I swear if this show doesn’t end with Sam’s grandmother living alone in that big empty house, finally coming to the realization that her entire family hates her, and she’s the only one to blame, and the sisters reunited and celebrating over having broken away from the chains of her control… I will be so pissed!

11. You go Song!! Tell her!!!!! I’m guessing this is probably going to play into a lot of the hurdles that Sammon will face cuz something tells me Sam will have Song in mind every time she’s with Mon 😭

12. Kade is the only one in this friend group with sense. Thank you Kade!!! 🙏🏿🙏🏿

13. I too communicate with stickers. And I too overanalyze the messages I send to my crush. I feel so seen 🥹

14. Mon is fighting to hear that “good girl” from Mommy Sam, and honestly… valid. Very valid

15. It took you 8 missed calls? EIGHT???? Boy you’re lucky. If I was Sam, you’re done.

16. Yo! Sam really is in high demand. Mon, you have some stiff competition

17. And now there’s the head on her thighs, soft lights and smiles, with soft music and soft hair stroking this scene is so soft. My heart!!!!!! Kiss you two! Kisssssssssssssssssss!!!!

18. Urgh! Kirk you pussy blocker! We were about to get a kiss!!!

19. Same Sam! I’m as pissed as you that she picked up Kirk’s call!

20. “I want to be useful”. Gahhhhhhhhhhh! Words I don’t know her. I am grinning, swooning puddle!!!

21. She’s dealing with a migraine but still wants Mon to let her know when she gets home so she knows she’s safe. Oh Sam. How do you expect her not to love you??? 😭😭

22. Also bitch! What do you mean by she should stop being formal with you? You were the one who told her not to call you Sam remember????

23. Lol! Not the “no text. Call me instead.” And the I want to hear your voice subtext.

24. Sam. Sweetheart. We know you like her. But she can’t read your mind. This yo-yoing of her emotions is going to come back and bite you in the ass!!

25. Sam I see you!! Sneaking in some snack delivery to your crush cuz you just can’t apologize for making her cry the previous night. Smh!

26. Mon is like nah. Lady is another word for bitch. And I’m not getting bribed into not feeling like shit cuz of some confectioner. If you want to apologize. APOLOGIZE. Girl!! I marvel at your audacity and I’m in awe of your spine! Go Mon! 💪🏾💪🏾

27. If not that Sam’s grandmother is attempting to force him on Sam as a husband, I might have actually liked Kirk. He understands her, and gets her and can read her. Now if only he could stay in friends territory, instead of the drama we are heading into, I would have absolutely adored him. Urgh!!

28. Sam. Full sentences my love. Not everybody speaks Sam. 😂🤣🤣🤣

29. I swear. Sam and Kirk’s friendship is the only good thing about this attempted forced marriage

30. Kirk you deserve the world. Just not with my girl Sam. But I shall spend this entire show praying that you find your own love. You are too good an egg to be unhappy 💚

31. She’s trying to scare you Sam 😂😂😂

32. Urgh!! What is with this assumption that the man waiting for her (even though she never asked him to) is her boyfriend?? Nop doesn’t stand a chance in hell. Everyone else seems to know but his dumbass. You cannot puppy your way into her pants. It’s not going to work!

33. Sam. Sam. Sam. Your jealousy is showing sweetheart 😂😂

34. Sam is so proud of her ghost tactics. Girl, Mon is better at this game than you 🤣🤣

35. Becky’s little tongue poking at the side of her mouth thing just made me moan. Make of that what you will.

36. Yup. The eyeglasses being pulled down thing is hot as fuck.

37. That next episode preview?? *quietly* what the fuck?!

[mushroomminded]

two mushy things, one that just came to me now and one i just feel like saying;

1) the most recent comic is one of those pieces of art so good it makes me go 'god i wish i did that', peak integration of lyric and visual storytelling, absolute masterpiece, 12/10

2) for the last however long we've known one another at this point (sox years I think?), you're one of the key creators who's work- particularly in the narrative space- has pushed me to want to compete and stand on the same level. all of my usual self loathing aside, on a common sense level, i know i've worked hard to hone a writing talent for literally over a decade and that i am, at least, Relatively Decent at writing and have been for a while- even back when we first met. however, i also know that I can always improve- because we never stop improving and growing as creators the more we create, it's inherent to the process- and seeing how well plotted your work is, how your dialogue flows, lit that spark under me of 'i know i'm doing this stuff well already, but i know i can do it better- i myself want to feel like i can match this, what i'm reading'. of course you're not the only creative friend of mine who's had that impact on me, but that doesn't change that you have- and your impact has been quite big in places (you, alongside my partner, are literally one of the driving forces that made me finally pull my finger out and actually work towards 'completing' Barnbellow's Estate, from a mixture of both seeing what you were doing with Micoverse and wanting to match it in the mediums i best could but also, crucially, for your enthusiasm for it). I am very, very lucky to know and have befriended people who are extremely talented in innumerous fields, all of whom are constant inspirations to me, and I just wanted to let you know that you are among that crowd of Artist Friends What Make Me Also Want To Make Things Good Like (and also subsequently why I shove the things I make in your face like 'HEY YO CHECK THIS OUT DO YA LIKE IT DID I DO GOOD', which i can only apologise for but also reassure you you are not the only person that knows me who has to endure it 😅). So, y'know. Keep on doing that, ay.

SEND THIS WHILE IM IN BED AND CANT DRAW MYSELF CRYIN OK.... ITS NOT LIKE THAT MEANS A LOT....

[la-pheacienne]

Tagged by my lovely mutual @michaelmandog

1. Are you named after anyone ?

After my grandma, my full name is Aspasia, and the original Aspasia was Pericle's wife.

2. When was the last time you cried ?

Ahm, i cried every day of the last week until friday but since then no.

3. Do you have kids ?

No but i consider some fictional characters my kids

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot ?

Do I? I don't know actually, i don't think so, what do you think?

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people ?

I don't like people who are very sarcastic/ironic the first time I meet them. Making others uncomfortable is not the way to appear cool. So when I first meet someone I really observe if they are sarcastic or benevolent/well-meaning. That and their voice, I am very sensitive with sounds and some voices annoy me a lot, sorry.

6. What’s your eye color ?

Dark brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings ?

If i have to choose strictly between these two then it's happy endings.

8. Any special talents ?

I can memorize lyrics and poems very easily and i can appear really knowledgeable about topics I know little about, if I want to.

9. Where were you born ?

Athens!

10. What are your hobbies ?

I used to dance ballet and play the piano. Also I used to read a lot of litterature and poetry, and I have a wide range of interests in cinema and music so I guess I can count that as a hobby, even if I personally don't create art. Right now, I don't have a specific hobby sadly. I do continue watching movies though.

11. Do you have any pets ?

I used to, a fox terrier, Poirot, but he died recently. He was 16 yo.

12. What sports do you play/have you played ?

Ahm sports are so not my thing.

13. How tall are you ?

1.67 centimeters I think.

14. Favorite subject in school ?

History, ancient greek, greek literature and french were definitely my fav subjects.

15. Dream job ?

I used to dream being a researcher but I am currently not feeling great about that dream. I don't really have a dream job and the thought stresses me out, I don't think I can be good at any job.

Tagging @faintingheroine @dragonsfromthemoon @horizon-verizon @theblackqveen @aemontargaryen-bloodraven

[josiebelladonna]

i need to roast something to make myself laugh. and when i say “roast”-

yeah.

i found this list. “50 signs you’re a good cook” because i like to torment myself and twist the knife into my own pain.

parentheses are my responses.

1. Can rustle up anything from scratch (yeah, i mean, growing up poor, i don’t think “save our souls” when i see “s.o.s.”)

2. Loving to eat as well as cook (so much for the 100 pound weight loss, i can’t be trusted, i guess…. … don’t get it? look up the phrase “never trust a skinny chef”)

3. Willing to experiment and try all foods and ingredients when cooking at home (heaven help the poor bastard who tried mastic powder the first time thinking it was going to smell like basil—)

4. Being happy to prepare food in front of guests (bro, just thinking about it makes me have a stroke)

5. Always being able to whip something up when there's virtually nothing in the cupboard (fried bread, bitches!)

6. When making a roast dinner everything finishes cooking at the same time (yeah, probably because i roasted the carrots, potatoes, and mushrooms with it, how else would it finish simultaneously?)

7. Can identify certain herbs from appearance (heaven help the poor bastard who can’t tell ground oregano from ground basil or tarragon at first glimpse—that poor bastard is me)

8. Can throw things together knowing that the different combinations (of various foods, herbs, spices) will go together and taste fab (as you read this, someone somewhere is making a screwdriver thinking they just invented a new drink)

9. Experiments with dishes by adding a twist on classics (and as you read this, you know someone somewhere is putting bay leaves and thyme in a chocolate tart)

10. Experimenting with recipes more than once a week (cooking i get, but who tf is baking more than once a week?? barring they aren’t professional bakers or have a huge family?)

11. Being able to laugh if things go wrong in the kitchen (i literally can’t do this. i. can’t. do. this. EVER. i may as well be dead)

12. Can identify herbs and spices by the taste (honestly, if you can do this, congratulate yourself for not being the chainsmoking assholes on hell’s kitchen who probably couldn’t differentiate an apple from a potato)

13. Knowing what herbs go in each dishes (however, if you can do this, fuck you)

14. Can chop things really finely, safely (and you can go to hell if you can do this. like, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse ME, masaharu morimoto)

15. Always have eggs and milk in the fridge (if you don’t, something is wrong)

16. Home-makes all condiments and sauces (all condiments, including ketchup and the one yo mama used?)

17. Owning a spice rack (bitch, i got you beat with my spice CABINET)

18. Always the one people go to for cooking tips (ehhh, dream on)

19. Knows what every utensil in the kitchen does (bonus if you know every secondary use for the utensil, too, oooooOOOOoooOOooOOOO)

20. Have a very well stocked pantry with all kinds of ingredients, i.e.: masala leaves, curry powder, mustard seeds, different types of oils: olive, avocado, roasted sesame seed, peanut, truffle, canola (the way truffle and sesame oils cost these days? get outta here…)

21. Doesn't need Oxo to make gravy (who’s out here using oxo for gravy? it’s butter, flour, stock, water, and maybe some green onions. full disclosure: i actually didn’t know what oxo was so i saw this and went “oh okay”)

22. Will offer for extra people to stay to dinner at a moment's notice (never happened to me before, and frankly, the way i get comments in the hellofresh group and the bread making group on facebook, i don’t think this’ll happen, either)

23. Rarely eat takeaways (or “fast food” as we call it here in ‘MURICA)

24. Knows exactly how long to cook a perfectly poached egg (without looking it up… 5 minutes?)

25. Knows how to peel fruit and veggies most efficiently (i’ve been peeling potatoes and carrots since i was 6, it’s more second nature to me than geography)

26. Knowing and practicing cooking terms like: 'Al dente', broil, blanch, clarify, deglaze, flambé, gratin, etc. (Immagino di essere un perdente dato che non so tutto 🤷🏻‍♀️)

27. Always wanting to try a new dish when eating out (*insert joke about oral here*)

28. Being able to guess what is in a dish just from the taste (all the times i heard “it tastes like ass” coming back to haunt me)

29. Never needing to use a cookbook (again, dream on)

30. Always the designated cook for large family gatherings (*shrek and donkey laughing.gif*)

31. Know when a cake is done without having to stick a cocktail stick in it a hundred times (once is enough, dumbass)

32. Knowing measurements without having to actually measure (bro, it took paul hollywood 25 years to do this, sit down)

33. Owns good quality cook-ware (our poor pots and pans… my stepbrother’s girlfriend abused the fuck out of our utensils when they were living here. i’d love to have some new shit as i’m sure anyone with half a brain would).

34. Writes a detailed list for the food shop (YES I’D LIKE APPROXIMATELY FIVE GRAMS OF EXTRA FINE SALT FROM THE BELLEND OF A MONGOLIAN WILDEBEEST)

35. Knowing which wine to pair with certain meat or fish (buckle up, earthlings, we’s cooking with grape squeezins!!)

36. Owning a full set of herbs/spices (you know someone somewhere has a quarter set of herbs and spices, and they aren’t k.f.c.)

37. Enjoying a messy kitchen (fewer things in life are more depressing and hard to look at than a messy kitchen, i guess i suck 🤷🏻‍♀️)

38. Don't need a timer (literally the best, most offhand example of simple math coming in handy)

39. Understanding what all the symbols on the oven mean (duhhhhhh, this means ON and this iz thuh TIMER)

40. Can chop an onion in seconds (pffff… it’s chopping BEETS in seconds that takes mad skills)

41. Being able to cook steaks perfectly using the thumb technique (for those who don’t know: press your thumb to the fleshy part of your palm under your thumb or your cheekbone—that’s rare. the tip of your nose: medium rare. your chin: medium. i think.)

42. Can always add in just the right (…what? it just said “the right”, it didn’t say anything else after that 😂)

43. Knowing what 'Bain Marie' is and having the perfect pans for it (*sigh* just use a big bowl over a saucepan with about an inch of water over high heat, you’ll be fine)

44. Knowing the correct pronunciation of unusual or exotic foods (i don’t know… i don’t know if i can pronounce “horse rib and rectum sausage” very well—yes, that is a thing, i shit you the fuck not)

45. Knowing which wine to drink with meat (hey, don’t assume that because i live a couple hours away from paso robles that a sober country bumpkin like me knows absolutely bubkes about wine)

46. Can flip a pancake perfectly (what, tossing a pancake in the air with the skillet instead of a spatula like a peasant?)

47. Knows how to prepare celeriac (you mean celery root? what’s with everyone and celery root lately? i mean, it’s okay, it’s pretty good, but y’all need to stop with making certain foods fads and then doing them to death à la pistachio or almond)

48. Mum goes round for Sunday dinner rather than the other way round (she doesn’t really have a choice, so-)

49. Always read food magazines (because racing magazines are full of drama, music magazines can’t all have alex skolnick or joey belladonna, and science magazines are full of ads)

50. Owns set of fancy knives (they’re colorful, and my favorite is the blue one, does that count?)