#i was listening to their song in the bus and now im back to bring not normal about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

princesssmars · 2 years

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how fast the night changes

chapter i part i

a sam x reader x mike

youve always had a compliacted relationship with your best friends. that all changes the night you go back to josh's house in the mountains.

contains: fluff and angst i mean its until dawn. mentions of death, mention of that little perv chris switched seats with.

wc: 3.800+

a/n: back in my until dawn phase bc of the quarry and we are lacking fics (especially poly ones) so i came to provide. decided to do these two bc they are my favorites and. theyre hot. enjoy. (im also following along with an all good choices everyone lives lets play because i love a good horror ending sorry.)

the bus ride up to the mountain was much more sinister in the dark of night. maybe it was because the thick trees of the expansive woods hid anything that lurked inside them. maybe it was because of what happened the last time you were here. either way, everything felt different this time.

you still remember how you met all of your friends. it was sixth grade, and you were the new kid, so you were prepared for it to be brutal. but here come these two dorks who say their names are josh and chris that plop down next to you during lunch to ask you some dumb question about the newest video game-was it super mario?-

you look down at your phone, the custom playlist you got for this trip nearly halfway done as it hums through your headphones. bopping your head along, you click out of the music app and head to your messages, seeing the last texts you shared with your friends. emily's were blunt but endearing, ashley and chris's enthusiastic, jess's laid back. but you feel a smile slowly appear looking over your last messages with sam and mike.

sam: please tell me you remembered to bring me some extra veggie chips! i have a feeling josh forgot to stock up on my vegan snacks :,)

y/n: only if you remembered to bring my favorite blanket from your dorm, you know the heating is most likely broken and im definitely not freezing to death up here!

sam: so dramatic! already ahead of you <3 see you at the lift!

you go to look over mike’s, trying to ignore the heat you feel in your face at her knowing what you wanted without you even asking.

mike: your new favorite playlist is ready, brought to you by your favorite person on earth

y/n: what do you mean? sam didn't make me a playlist

mike: haha very funny

mike: y’know id appreciate some appreciation every now and then, i put all of your faves on here! even some hidden gems I've been listening to recently

y/n: thank you my best friend in the whole wide world for the amazing playlist i know you don't share your amazing music taste with everybody

y/n: happy?

mike: very. thanks, babe. see ya soon.

well, that didn't help.

you step off the bus with your carry-on, saying your thanks to the tired-looking bus driver before they drive off after giving you a weary smile and an ominous “be safe out there.”. you step further towards the entrance and seeing the faded yet familiar Blackwood Pines sign fills you with bittersweet nostalgia. remembering your first time getting plastered with josh and chris, dancing to the newest shitty songs with jess, telling emily about your crushes crush, gossiping with beth, watching the newest show that hannah couldn't stop talking about…

you shake your head. nows not the time to dwell on the past, you're here to rekindle old friendships and have a great time.

as you continue walking to the lift, you get more and more unsettled by the dark woods surrounding you. yes, the woods were inherently creepy, but it felt like someone, or something was watching you. you always joked around about something being in the woods, but those were just jokes. your mind is jumping around so quickly that you don't even register the snap of twigs and someone grabbing you-

“fucking hell!” leaves your throat as you bend over and try to catch your breath. meanwhile, samantha giddings is laughing her ass off behind you.

“i just - and then you- oh my god!” she wheezes, bent over and holding her knees with her hands. she laughs even harder when she looks up to see you staring at her with a straight face.

“you're not funny. at all. get up.” you reel your foot back as if you're about to kick snow and dirt at her, and thankfully that makes her calm down a bit.

“ok, ok. alright. im sorry, i couldn't help it!”

after her laughter has officially died down, you both stand and stare at each other for a minute, before laughing and running into a hug.

“its been so long sammy” you whisper into the blonde girl's hair, taking in the scent of her vanilla and papaya shampoo.

“way too long. promise me after this you’ll come to visit before the end of the school year? you can be my good luck charm for my exams” she pulls away to look at your face, her slender arms still wrapped around your waist.

“only if you promise to stay with me for a while this summer. there are so many things i wanna do with you.”

“many things, huh? got any more examples?” the side of her mouth quirked up, smirking at the way you stumble over your words.

“i just meant that… it's been hard. without you. and the others of course. it feels like we barely ever see each other since…”

your words trail off. it's still hard to say aloud what happened on the mountain last year. you look at sams face and see the sadness on her face, too.

while you were always close with beth, she was best friends with the other washington twin.

she always felt a little guilty that she didn't run off after them that night.

so did you.

you try to change the conversation, hoping to lift both of your moods.

“what i mean is, our college's aren't that far but it feels like i see you once in a blue moon! it'd be nice to catch back up and get closer.”

“i know what you mean. there's so much we have to talk about.” she agrees. “so, we can start on this longgg walk up the lift. you ready?”

she holds her arm out and you link yours through hers. god, did you miss her.

the walk to the lift was surprisingly nice. sure you had to walk through some creepy ass woods, but doing it with your best friend made it somehow enjoyable and even funny. especially when she fell on her ass after trying to climb the stone wall next to the busted gate.

“stop laughing and help me up!”

“oh, how the table have turned.”

while walking, you both spot a squirrel running past you. you decide to ignore it, but sam being the animal lover she is, tries to feed it.

“here you go little guy, have a nice life, alright?” she sighs, waving to the squirrel as it goes back into the woods. she turns to keep walking but finds you staring at her. “what is it?”

“nothing, nothing. we should hurry up, feels like I'm getting frostbite already.” you rush, ignoring as sam laughs at your dramatics.

eventually, after more idle catching up, light teasing (and both of you seeing something weird after picking up a totem?), you finally arrive at the cable car station…and see no sign of chris.

you let out a long and loud sigh, “god its so like him to go do whatever stupid crap right now. if he went up without us i'm gonna kill him.”

sam giggles at your upset grumbling, before moving her arms up and down the arms of your coat from beside you. “ok, ok. lets just look, around ok? im sure that doofus is around here somewhere.”

you both search around the station for mutual goofy blonde friend, until finally you find his backpack after hearing his phone ring. you don't catch who the caller was before it ends, and you notice sam come up behind you. “hey, I cant find that doofus, i don't know where he could be hiding-”

her voice is cut off by the phone pinging again, and you both see the user id-ashley, your mutual friend and chris’ crush of for-fucking-ever. on the handful of times youve spoken to ashley recently, you were pretty sure she liked him too.

you and sam lock eyes, sharing a mental conversation. you know she wants to leave it alone, and she knows you want more than anything to look at what theyve been talking about because you know your friend has absolutley no game.

you dont get the chance when you hear a “sam! (y/n)!” behind you, quickly turning around to see your tall glasses-wearing friend.

“thank god! i felt like i was gonna freeze to death out here!” you exclaim, making the blondes laugh as you hug chris, his big arms encompassing your entire body.

you smile. you missed this big dork.

you feel one of his hands leave your back, and then you feel the press of sam against your side. your face grows warm as both of you wrap your arms around each other to form a group hug. as you back away, sam looks at you affectionately, and chris looks between the both of you. you squint your eyes in a ‘shut it or ill kick you in the balls’ way and he stops.

“oh! so, i found something amazing.” christ speaks, looking at the both of you and moving over to his bag which still rests on the seat.

you and sam share a look. “what?” she asks.

“im not gonna tell you, you gotta see for yourself,” he replies, ever the little shit, he hikes his bad up onto his shoulder and starts moving away from the station. “come on, its this way.”

“where?” you question his next. again, it was freezing out here, and as much as you liked doing stuff with your friends youd much rather do it inside the lodge.

“right around here, gonna blow your mind.”

you follow chris around the back of the station until he moves in front of the surprise and holds out his hands. “ta-da! pretty rad right?”

“yeah…” sam stares at it, making you laugh beside her. before you stands a mini wooden shooting range, just built to shoot a few targets before the trees. on the wood panel lies two hunting rifles, placed for the targets placed either on the trees or on the stumps ahead of it.

“come on! look at these beauties!” chris smiles, trying to get you and sam at least amused by what he was showing you.

sam is still unconvinced. “”beauties” is not the word that comes to mind. why is this even here?”

“what do you mean?”

“what the hell is a shooting range doing at the base of a ski lodge?”

“dude, have you ever met josh’s dad?” chris asks her, fiddling with the rifle.

“yeah, he definitely thinks hes more badass than he really is,” you pick up one of the guns, admiring the details of it, “or maybe hes preparing for something in these woooods…”

“oh shush with the ghost stories, (y/n).” chris shushes at you, ignoring you scrunching up your face at him. you would admit that you did look into folklore and the supernatural, but who could blame you? it was interesting. “but shes right, dude thinks hes like, grizzly adams or something. either of you wanna try?”.

“you go head, grizzly.” sam declines, smiling at chris. yours eyes widen when they both turn to look at you.

“oh, you dont want me to go first. id embarrass you. but please be our guest.” chris scoffs and turns away from you, saying something under his breath. sam nudges your shoulder and laughs, “be nice.”

chris faces the targets and holds the rifle up to his shoulder, preparing to shoot. “alright, here goes.”

you both watch on as he hits both of the stuffed bags and both of the soda cans.

“wow, nice shootin tex.” sam compliments him.

“yeah, you been practicin this in your spare time?” you instantly regret it when he says “alright, im bad! im a badass!” and starts dancing in place. moron.

you nearly bust out laughing at the unamused look on sams face. “im gonna go ahead and guess it was a wild case of beginners luck.”

“nah, i dont think so girl.” he shrugs her off, yet again taking aim. he strikes a beer bottle, shattering it into pieces.

“anybody and their brothers could shoot a bottle that big, that close.” sam teases chris again. you notice a cute little squirrel make its way to snack on some nuts that lay on one of the barrels. chris shoots one of the stuffed bags again.

“ok ill admit. youre a nice shot.” chris’ eyebrows shoot up at your compliment, laughing when you roll your eyes.

“your asses just got sacked.”

you and sam both groan.

he goes to take aim, but in the corner of your eye you see the lift coming down. “hey, sharp-shooter, our ride is coming.”

“wh- im just getting the hang of it!” chris complains.

“come on chris, the cable car!” sam reaffirms, moving to loop her arms through yours and head to your ride. the both of you go ahead and laugh to each other when you hear chris groan and follow suit.

while walking, chris comes up behind you and starts to speak, “man it is… its definitely weird coming back up here after a whole year.”

“yeah. i swear, the moment i got here it just all came flooding back.” sam says. shed gone from linking your arms to holding your hand and leading you. your cheeks felt warm.

“i know what you guys means. a year went by so fast…” you whisper under your breath. you see chris looking at something on the wall of the station and tug sam back to look. it's a wanted poster for someone name milgram victor, last seen here on the mountain in the 90s. you vaguely remember josh talking about it.

“nice. think we’ll get a visit from americas most wanted?” chris kids after observing the sign.

“looks like someone thought so,” you reply. “i dont know why, its been almost 20 years, what would he even be doing? and dont answer that weirdo.” you give a stern look to chris when you see him excitedly open his mouth to go into imaginary detail about what milgram could be doing.

sam shrugs it off. “looks like someone thought so.”

“nah y/n’s right,” chris agrees with you, “this place is abandoned most of the year. nodbody comes up here.” after that, the three of you move on.

“this all must be really hard on josh…” sam expresses suddenly, bringing back up the topic of what happened last year.

chris speaks up from behind you, “i dont know how he keeps it all together. id…i mean id be a wreck.”

“who says he isnt?” your question makes sam scoff and chris sigh. “oh come on, we three are the closest to him and i know you both could tell something was up in that video. not to mention what happened with his therapist so who even knows whats going on inside that big head of his-”

“hey hey hey, slow down!” you hear then feel chris and sam next to you, both putting a hand on your shoulders . “look, dont worry. we’re all gonna be there to help josh if he needs it, yeah? for now lets focus on having a good time.”

chris could be a doofus at times, but he did know how to make you feel better. you let out a long sigh, stabilizing yourself before looking at your two friends and ready to continue.

its only a few seconds later when sam gets to the door and stops. “hey thats weird. door’s locked.”

“yeaaah…josh wanted us to keep it locked. keep people out.” chris tells her.

“he really said that? what kind of people?” she questions him. josh was never one to be scared of what could be lurking on the mountain.

“i dont know. he said they found people sleeping in the station one time.”

“creepy.” “thats so sad.” you and sam share a look as you speak at the same time before moving on.

“after you,” chris moves his arm in a sweeping motion of chivalry torwards to the now open station door, laughing as sam teases him with “a real gentleman.”

the three of you move inside, you and chris heading to check out the controls as sam moves to look out over the edge of the rail.

its small inside the control center, just the room with the controls, a desk, and some lockers. you and chris lean in to look at one of the posters, advertising the blackwood pines hotel and-

“sanatorium?” you both say under your breath, looking at the other. how did you never hear about this?

“ugh! i though the car was closer.” you heard sam complain from outside.

“guess we gotta wait…” chris voces, still obsering the sanatorium poster. “what a crazy place to set up house.”

“emphasis on the crazy.” you joke, laughing when chris swats at you with his hands. “but seriously, they couldnt have picked any other mountain? this is odd, no matter how rich you are.”

“guess mr.washington couldnt pass up on the view.” chris speaks.

“theyre not so rich,” sam rebuttals. “they only bought a mountain!”

you slightly giggle at her joke.

from the corner of you eye you see a flickering creen on the desk, dragging chris over by his arm to look at it.

“huh? since when did they have all this security up here?” your companion questions, observing the amount of places covered by what must be new secuirty cameras.

you sigh, feeling slightly unerved,“i guss they really are worried about something up here.”

looking out the small window, you see the cable car has almost arrived, making you move outside in preparation. you notice sam has zoned out, so you tickle her neck slightly, making her flinch away and let out a light squeal. “ah! oh you know i hate it when you do that!”

you smile at the blonde, leaning into her side “yeah right, sammy.”

she lets out a playful groan, wrapping her arm around your shoulders so you can both move into the cable car. you across from her as chris sits next to her.

“just like going to prom.” chris says before sitting down.

“chris, i was with you on prom night. you nearly threw up multiple times on the way there because you were scared about asking someone to dance-”

“alright alright! no need to bring that back up, y/n.” he shushes you, still embarrased about what happened 2 years ago. “anyway, adventure begins!”

“i hope this was the right thing to do.” sam sounds from across you.

“what?” chris asks her.

“you know getting everyone together on the anniversary. i mean, josh seemed really pumped about us all doing something didnt he?”

“yeah, no, he definitely did!” chris waves his arm around to express his point. “i havent seen him so excited about something in…forever.”

“good, good…” sams voice trails off.

“yeah, im glad he seems to be doing better. and its nice for everyone to be back together.” you smile, ready to see all of your friends again. even if what they did still hangs in the back of your mind.

“yeah yeah, but…its hard to tell with him and i…ive kinda been worried.” sams voice softens, her worry for her dear friend peaking through.

“no, no, it was…it was a good idea.” chris reassures her.

she looks over at you before staring at the ceiling. “i hope everybdy else feels the same way.

“we’re all here, arent we?” he questions.

“thanks bro. good talk.” sam goofs, lightly punching his arm.

you laugh at them. “he has such a way with words, doesnt he?”

he laughs along with the two of you, “you know what? screw the both of you. but really, lets just…lets just stop talking about what happened and enjoy the trip.”

“you know what? youre right.” sam agrees.

“seriously,” you sigh, leaning back and looking at the scenery. “i cant wait to just get to the lodge and relax with some hot cocoa.”

“um, what do you mean relax?” chris asks you, making you turn your head to raise a questionable eyebrow, “we’re supposed to party like porn stars, remember?”

“ugh, forgot about that part. we can do that tomorrow.” you groan, making your friends laugh at your antics.

theres silence for a little while longer before chris turns to the two of you and asks, “you two know how josh and i met?” you and sam shake your heads ‘no’.

“ok. third grade. josh sat in the back of the room, i sat in the front. we didnt even know each other existed. but the kid sitting next to josh started strap-snapping the training bra on the girl in front of him so the teacher made him move to the front - where i was sitting!”

‘ugh, gross.’ you think, before listening to the rest of the story.

“okay, so?” sam questions.

“so i got moved to the back!”

“and?” you prod.

“and next to josh! thats how we met! and became friends. to this day.”

“a match made in heaven.” you tease.

“if it werent for the fact that jeanie simmons hit puberty like three years early and on that day decided to wear a low-cut shirt that showed off her training bra…i mean who knows? you two could be riding in this cable car alone. right now. or talking to some other person entirely. boom. butterfly effect.”

“well i sure am glad we got you and not the bra snapper, chris.” his face twists in a mix of annoyance and happiness.

“it is freaky to think about, though. like, who knows how many little things we thought about doing but didn't would change who we are?” sam joins in, rubbing her hands together as the cold starts getting to her.

“well, i like to think fate could play a part in it as well.” you notice how both of your companions are looking straight at you, urging you to continue. “what? i mean, who we are effects what we’re most likely to do, which means some things are just meant to happen. at least thats how i see it. whatever, just stop looking at me.”

“no, no! i understand,” sam leans forward, taking your hands in hers. “i get it, like some things are just meant to be. its kinda nice, knowing id end up knowing you no matter what.”

your heart leaps to your throat when she sustains eye contact with you, the grip of her hands moving to hold your wrists.

“like i was doomed to fail that english test in sophomore year. im still pissed off about that.”chris says from your left, making you nearly jump out of your skin from being in the moment you just had with sam.

“yeah, just like your english test, chris. sure.” sam replies flatly, slightly slumping back into her place, her face perking up when you shake your head in amusement.

this was gonna be a good night.

here we go! chapter one of ten! this took me so long to get out and i wanted it out on halloween day but alas :') this already felt really long so hope to get part two ou soon! thanks for reading <3

#sam giddings x reader #sam giddings #mike munroe x reader #mike munroe #until dawn #until dawn x reader #ashley brown #chris hartley #emily davis x reader #jessica riley #josh washington #matt taylor #sam x reader x mike #mike x reader x sam

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xiaodejunletsact · 4 years

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i still love you | zhong chenle

word count: 17, 367

genre: high school!au, basketball!player, angst, fluff, you are a bet au??? lol idk 8 letters!au

warnings: lots of angst, playing of emotions, mentions of panic attacks and sex.

authors note: im finally back!! with a chenle fic!! okay so,, i wanted to thank everyone who loved 8 letters, the reaction to that fic was better than anything i could’ve ever imagined, so thank you so much!! this is like a chenle version from the same universe. but most importantly: i decided to put songs in some scenes to enhance the experience while reading, you don’t have to but if you want to listen to the ‘soundtrack’ of this fic click the ‘🏀’!!!!! please enjoy!!

synopsis: high school can be complicated. thats why when your crush of three years, zhong chenle, approaches you out of nowhere offering to drive you home you are right to question his intentions.

🏀

You can hear the loud thumping of your heart in your ears as you watch the players dart across the court. The squeaking of their sneakers against the polished floor as they furrowed their eyebrows in concentration. Well… as he furrowed his eyebrows in anticipation, you wouldn’t know about the rest of the players on the court because your eyes were focused on one boy in particular. Number 22, Zhong Chenle. Your crush since sophomore year and soon to be captain of the basketball team (even if this is your personal opinion you’re 87% sure of it). The boy had caught your eye when he first smiled your way back in 10th grade and offered to help you with everything since you were new, leaving a stamp on your heart that would mark it as his own for the next years to come. Of course, you hardly ever spoke to him, too nervous and clumsy to even think of approaching someone so out of your league but there was something about his crinkly smile eyes and fluffy hair that got a hold of and never let go.

Which is why you find yourself seated at the school’s bleachers watching the basketball game like you did every week, hands clutching the sides of the bench as you watched Chenle get the orange ball passed to him, and the scene plays in slow motion.

Sweat drips off the tips of his newly dyed blond hair as he gains impulse with a jump, shooting a perfect three pointer and deeming the game of victory for his team. You proudly smile as you watch his teammates cause a ruckus around him, cheering and hitting him occasionally. However, your mood dampened as you watched Chenle escape the clutches of his team, running to the side benched where Ava, (the bitchiest girl in school but also his girlfriend), sat. He leans down to peck her lips, only to be stopped when she holds her hand up, pushing him away with a disgusting, “you’re sweaty!” He looks dejected for a second, before forcing a smile and turning back towards the team. You wonder if you’re the only one who noticed the interaction, you wonder if you’re the only one who cares enough to want to march down there and tell her off. You huff, instead opting to march your angry way to the entrance of the gym starting the trek home. Wondering if Number 22 will ever be yours like you desperately want him to.

It’s funny how much of your life you could dedicate to one person without any sort of reciprocation. You felt almost embarrassed as you shoved yet another letter into an envelope that increasingly got thicker and thicker with every burst of your emotions. You see, every time your feelings for Chenle got too strong to bare you would write short letters about how you felt, obviously, with no intention of Chenle ever getting his hands on them, just for your own catharsis. It helped, most days.

Today is not one of those days.

“Uh huh…” you said absentmindedly at your friend, Donghyuck , who tries to explain to you what intricate contraption they are building in this week's robotics class. However, you’re too busy looking over his shoulder at Chenle who laughs half heartedly at something his friend says, before going serious once again. You furrow your eyebrows and say, “have you noticed anything off about Chenle?”

Donghyuck sighs, knowing he has lost you once again. Nevertheless, he humors your narrative turning to watch the boy in question along with you. “I mean… he is kind of down.”

“Right?” You reply, shutting your locker and clicking the lock. Donghyuck shrugs.

“Maybe it’s because he broke up with his girlfriend this weekend.”

You stop dead in your tracks, “He did what?”

Donghyuck nods, (like it’s not a huge deal!) “at the party you missed this weekend, they got into a big fight and he told her it was over and stormed off.”

“A-and you didn’t think to tell me this?” You respond to which he just shrugs.

“It’s not like you had a chance with him anyway.”

“Ouch, Donghyuck .”

The words stung, of course but you knew Donghyuck was just being realistic with you, never one to lead you into things that could only hurt you in the future.

Donghyuck says something after that, that you don’t quite catch but you guess it’s fine since you didn’t really want to listen to him right now anyway.

Especially since Zhong Chenle just caught you staring at him and is now staring just as intensely into your eyes as you were to the side of his face.

You don’t know what kind of glitch you go through that you are unable to form any type of reaction or look away. Instead just kind of… freezing.

He brings up a hand and slightly waves in your direction. A kind smile on his face.

Oh no. He actually sees you.

Before you can even process it, you realize that you're running down the hall in the direction opposite to him. Out of the back door of the school, heaving as your heartbeat reaches 3000bpm.

🏀

Recalling the memory as you walk to the bus stop that afternoon causes you to slap your palm against your forehead once again. “What was I thinking? Now Chenle is really going to think I’m a freak.”

You couldn’t believe yourself, kicking the gravel underneath your sneakers in frustration you beat yourself up over having ruined the only interaction that could’ve possibly been your chance to win his heart. It could’ve been the last time he ever looked your way again, and you wouldn’t blame him.

But it wasn’t.

Because just minutes after, like a miracle from heaven, you hear the roar of an expensive car engine near you before hearing his angelic voice call the syllables you thought you’d never hear him say: “Y/N!”

Wide eyed, your snap your head to the sound of his voice only to see him through the window of his shiny million dollar car. He smiles and you feel like running again. He notices. “Wait! Don’t go!”

You hear the buckle of his seatbelt being undone and watch in shock as he jogs around the car and suddenly he towering over you with a sweet smile. “Hi.”

Say hi back! What are you doing? “Uh- I- uh- Hi?”

He chuckles, looking down at his shoes before looking into your eyes once again. “How you doing?”

“I’m- im good.” You stutter.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The silence that follows makes you want to get swallowed up by the ground and never see daylight again.

Chenle notices how you avoid his eyes and chuckles once again, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Well, um, I just saw that you were walking and wanted to know if you wanted a ride.”

“In your car?” You ask in a quiet voice. Chenle laughs.

“I mean, yeah. Unless you want to rent bikes from the tourism center.” You allow a small smile to grace your lips briefly before remembering the circumstances you currently found yourself in. Chenle (Zhong Chenle, Number 22, Yes. Chenle.) has just offered you a ride in his fancy car. The same car you watched him pull up in for two whole years. And he wants you to get in it.

The millions of scenarios that go through your head as to why this could be happening but as you painfully remember today’s events, you realize what this is about.

Chenle shoves both his hands in his jean pockets as he awaits your answer. “...So?”

You breathe in deeply, “Listen, um, if you’re doing this because you feel bad about earlier or something, please don’t.”

Chenle’s eyebrows furrow together and he comes closer to you. “That’s not the case at all, I just saw you walking all by yourself and thought to offer you a ride home.”

“But you drive past here every day and you’ve never offered me a ride before?” You question out loud, wincing as you realize that you could possibly sound creepy for knowing where he goes in the afternoon. “I mean- you always drive in the same direction as my bus stop! So I see you!” You feel how clammy your palms are rubbing against the harsh fabric of your jeans. “Speaking of the bus, I should probably go before I miss it.”

Just as you turn to walk away, Chenle’s hand grips your wrist where your sleeve has ridden up, allowing the first skin to skin contact you ever made with him. Your eyes widen at him and he lets go immediately, awkwardly. “I guess I was focused on other things, but now I’m focused on you.”

In the fever dream that was Zhong Chenle flirting (?), and the insistent drumming of your heart in your ears you come back to only realize you were moving into Chenle’s car. (The doors opened upwards!)

The boy took the liberty of opening it for you, closing it once you were settled in. You took the moment he was walking to the driver’s side to take in a deep breath and compose yourself.

What the hell is going on? Why Zhong Chenle talking to you? Why is he driving you home? Why did he tell you he’s focused on you? What? What does any of this mean?

Before you could begin pulling your hairs out in frustration, Chenle’s door opens and he plops down onto the driver’s seat. He looks over at you with a smile as he fastens his seatbelt, “Buckle up.” You do so quietly, biting your lip to prevent any further embarrassment.

The drive begins with little to no talking, the only thing filling the silence being the constant humming of the air conditioning and static of the radio.

“Do you want to listen to something?” He presses his pale fingers to the glossy touch screen in between you two. Soon enough, a soft beat travels through the ambience of his car. You see from the corner of your eye that he looks over at you and smiles, but keep your nervous eyes on the road in front of you; Chenle faces the road once again, tilting his head to the side in a gesture that you would find unbearably cute any other day makes you want to open the car door and jump out into the street, running away from the awkward silence and the confusing thoughts plaguing your mind.

Chenle leaves after promising to pick you up tomorrow morning, you can only nod your head rapidly and run into your house, afraid that he would be able to hear the loud beats of your heart.

Once the door of your room is closed safely behind you, you finally breathe for the first time this afternoon. “What the fuck? What the shit? What the hell?” You mutter to yourself as you pace around the room.

Could it be that your dreams are finally becoming a reality? Had Chenle seen you the way you saw him this entire time?

The one sided crush wasn’t as one sided as you thought! Is what you wanted to think, but there was part of you that questioned where his intentions lie due to the abruptness of the situation. What if there was an ulterior motive behind his actions? No. Chenle wouldn't do something as bad as play with someone’s emotions like that? Right?

As you lay in bed pondering the thought you decide it's best to ask him tomorrow.

You wake up 30 minutes earlier the next day, showering thoroughly and waiting in the living room so as to not make him wait too long to leave when he arrives.

This moment comes while you’re sitting at the table with your family, your eyes widen as you hear the knocks on your front door. “I’ll get it!” You stop your mother from reaching the door as you run to it.

Chenle smiles politely as your face appears from inside the house. “Hey.”

You smile back nervously, “Hi.” You proceed to stand at the doorway for a few awkward seconds before your mother comes to see who it is. She is pleasantly surprised to see someone of the male species there in front of you.

“Oh?” She says, smiling at him then looking at you suggestively. You try to convey a silent plea to not embarrass you before she looks away to shake Chenle’s hand. “Hi! I’m Y/N’s mom, are you one of her friends?”

Chenle smiles at her sweetly, “Yes, I am. I’m actually here to pick Y/N up for school.”

“You’re taking Y/N to school?” Your mother’s shocked face is enough to tell Chenle that it was probably the first time anything like this has happened to you.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Your mother sends you a sly smile that she thinks Chenle doesn’t notice before nudging your arm. “Then what are you doing standing there? Don’t make him wait!” Your groan and rub the spot on her arm where she pushed you as you go upstairs to grab your backpack.

Downstairs, Chenle accepts your mother’s offer of entering your humble home. Your house is a modest abode with strange decorations hanging up on the walls, along with pictures of your family. The living room looks like an orphanage where mix matched furniture goes to live. There's one pale green couch, one beige and one a bright yellow. Chenle thinks back to the pristine state of his own living room, the pure white furniture and modern, classy decorations hung up on the marble walls. He realizes that it is nothing like his own, in fact, he doesn’t think it could’ve been more different but he finds that he likes it. That it feels homey compared to his usually liefless house. It’s the kind of place he would stay in for a long time.

Chenle shakes those thoughts out of his as soon as they appear, remembering why he was doing this in the first place, he couldn’t risk getting attached.

“Be honest with me.”

Chenle startles upon hearing your voice above its normal shy muttering. You, on the other hand, are shaking in your shoes having practiced what you would say and thought over doing this millions of times last night. “What are your intentions? Like, it’s not that I think you’re a bad person or anything but I just don’t understand because of the suddenness.”

Chenle averts his eyes from the road to glance at you, smiling. He faces forward once again sighing slightly. “Okay, I’ll be honest,” He starts, you sit up straighter and involuntarily lean toward him. “I think you’re really cute, I always noticed you at my games and the way you would cheer me on was really endearing and it encourages me a lot.”

The butterflies that erupt in your stomach with his words are undeniable. “You noticed me?” Your quiet voice is back, still, he hears you. He smiles, and it’s genuine.

“Of course I did,” he says, “And i know that it was very… sudden but if you give me a chance i would really love to take you on dates and maybe… more.”

He sounds slightly unsure of himself. Rubbing the leather of his wheel with his hands.

Your mind is mush. Chenle likes you! He thinks you're cute and he noticed you at his games! What is life?!

“What do you say?” he says after the awkward pause in which you freaked out.

‘No’ is not a word in your dictionary.

The cycle continues throughout the next week; Chenle picks you up every morning (never forgetting to bid your mother a good morning) and takes you home every afternoon (always politely rejecting your mother’s offers to stay for dinner), always spilling banter in the car, learning about each other. Chenle notices how you open up to him and he likes it (though he can’t really pinpoint why), he likes talking to you, and laughing with you and he finds himself wanting to be around you more often. Though this wasn’t initially part of the plan, he figures he can enjoy it until it had to end.

The thought makes an eerie feeling rise in his chest, even if he doesn't know why, he thinks things will be a lot harder than he planned.

🏀

It’s friday when Chenle invites you to come watch his basketball practice.

You had imagined this scenario in your head plenty of times before but not once did you think you would ever actually be here sitting on the players bench watching up close as Chenle maneuvered across the court along with the rest of the players. There was sweat dripping off the tip of his blonde hair which made him look 10 times more attractive than he already was and you have to stop the drool that threatens to leak from your lips as he sits down next to you on the bench. “Hey.”

“Hi,” You reply, trying to keep yourself together.

“Practice is over.” Chenle says motioning towards the now empty court. It's only then that you realize that you and Chenle are alone, and suddenly, he’s sitting a lot closer to you than you thought. You turn your face to him and realize that your noses are nearly touching, Chenle smiles. “Hi.” He says, coming a bit closer until he feels the moisture of his sweaty arm against your dry one, he recoils. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. I’m so sweaty right now.” There’s a dust of embarrassed blush on his face as he slides away on the bench. Your heart starts beating erratically as you watch him try to rub his sweat away with his small hand towel.

You can’t find the words to tell him it’s okay (slightly scared to tell him that you like it) so you say the next best thing. “You looked cool playing.”

This eases him a bit, he smiles. “You think so?”

“Yeah!” You say, “Like Curry!”

Chenle laughs, “Oh man! I can’t believe you just compared me to Curry.” He stands and takes a bow, waving his towel dramatically. “I am honored.”

The scene causes you to giggle, and Chenle has to take a breather to calm his own beating heart.

“Especially when you blocked Jaemin at the 3rd point and scored on the spot. I was impressed.”

“You must know a lot about basketball.” He points out. You shake your head.

“Not really,” is your response. “I only learned from coming to watch your games.” The sudden confession slipped from your lips and you momentarily panicked.

Upon not hearing a response from Chenle, your breathing deepens and you think maybe you ruined the moment.

Unbeknownst to you, Chenle watches you with curious eyes. He senses the tension coming from you and walks away, leaving you alone in your troubled state.

You think maybe Chenle left without, freaked out and uncomfortable because of what you said, however, you’re proven ridiculously wrong when you dribble a basketball on the floor.

You lift your gaze to Chenle who dribbled the orange ball with a teasing smile on his face. “Why don’t you show me what you got?”

“I- I don’t-“ you begin.

“Oh come one, Y/N!” He says, passing the ball to you, “You have to be good. I mean, you did learn from the best.” The cocky shrug of his shoulders and teasing smile bring you peace of mind and you find yourself agreeing.

It’s safe to say that Chenle is surprised at your skills. He should’ve known you had paid enough attention to him to learn all his techniques and dodge them while playing. And to think he was planning on letting you win so you could feel better. It eventually became a full competition. Sweaty bodies and heavy breathing, running, dodging, scoring. Teasing words and intense competitive gazes.

The score was 7-7. Chenle sweeps in to swipe the ball from your hands but you pivot and shoot the three pointer right from your spot. “Yes!” You exclaim, throwing your hands in the air with a celebratory dance. “I won!”

Chenle is leaning with his hands on his knees, his chest heaving. “I need-“ he breathes, “I need to stop being so good at basketball. So heathens like you can stop learning my best tricks.” He brings his hand up to pinch your cheek teasingly. “You should join the team.” He says jokingly. You chuckle, rubbing the spot on your face that was just touched by his fingers.

“As if.”

“Hey! Does the idea of being in a team with tons of rowdy sweaty dudes that unappealing?” Chenle jokes, placing the basketball back in its place.

“It’s enough with you.”

Before you can retract the statement, Chenle speaks. “That’s right, you only need one sweaty rowdy basketball player in your life.” He winks. “And that’s me.”

You laugh at his words but can feel your heartbeat all throughout your body. You can’t stop your mind from thinking:

You’re damn right. It’s you.

As you walk back to his car, Chenle is the first to break the comfortable silence. “You know… it was nice to see you so talkative and competitive today. I had fun.”

And despite everything, he meant it. He knows he probably shouldn’t, but he does.

Unaware of his inner turmoil, you smile. “I did too.”

He gives you a lopsided smile in return before sliding the strap of your backpack off your shoulder and onto his own, keeping his own backpack company. “I’ll carry it for you.”

You wonder if this is the start of something magical. Beside you, Chenle wonders the same but his thoughts are weaved with something more, something that meant trouble.

You, however, hurry home to pour your feelings into a letter. Hearts drawn on the borders of the loose leaf page and a smile on your face all throughout.

🏀

Every week it gets harder to become immune to Chenle’s charm.

Today, he did something as simple as drop you off at home after school. However, before bidding you goodbye as song rings from the radio of his car. Chenle perks up. “I love this song!”

He turns up the radio to its full capacity and rolls down the windows, making the music sound through the street.

“Chenle! Turn that down!” You exclaim but the laughter in your tone hints that you want the exact opposite. Chenle shakes his head.

“No can do!” he waves his arms dramatically in the air, “Dance with me!”

You laugh once again at the wonderful boy, “You’re ridiculous!”

“Oh yeah?” He says challengingly. Suddenly he is opening the door and dancing on the sidewalk where everyone could see him. His movements are almost manic and all you can do is continue laughing. “I’m not leaving until you dance with me.”

“My neighbors are going to see you.” You warn. He shrugs.

“It's fine. I’ll just tell them I’m with you!”

“Oh my god no.” You say, stepping out of the passenger’s side, walking around the car until you’re in front of him, you cross your arms.

“Show me some moves, I’m getting tired.”

And so an impromptu two people dance party breaks out on the sidewalk in front of your house. Even though in your imagination dancing with Chenle would require the presence of an elegant ball gown and fancy chandeliers, all there is to be seen is loud music, laughter, grabbing of hands and playful banter. And you wonder if it could ever be more perfect than this.

Of course, like any other human, Chenle has his moments.

The morning car ride was as silent as could be. Chenle’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, angrily. His usual smile is replaced but a scowl that only left momentarily when you stepped into the car earlier, a (clearly forced) polite smile is what you saw.

Since then you didn’t dare to speak, not wanting to bother him when he was clearly having a bad time.

You arrive at the school and escape the still awkward ambience, bidding him a quiet farewell before running in.

You proceeded to spend the entire school day wondering what was up with Chenle that morning and what you could do to help him. It’s when you meet at the end of the day once again that you ask, “Hey, is everything okay?”

The boy freezes up, before clearing his throat. “Yeah, why do you ask?”

You shrug, “Nothing, you you were just kind of, like, quiet this morning… so i figured you were upset.”

The blonde boy in the driver’s seat keeps his eyes on the road ahead of him, “It’s nothing, Y/N.” He says in a rough tone, one you’ve never heard or thought you would ever hear him use. “It doesn’t concern you anyway, okay?”

Your form deflates into the seat, wishing you had kept quiet like you did this morning. You reply, “Okay.”

There’s tension. Body swallowing tension that lasts all throughout the car ride to your house, as Chenle pulls up in front the driveway and you have already unbuckled your seatbelt before he got the chance to put the car in park.

In the passenger’s seat, Chenle feels the guilt creeping on him. He realizes that you only asked because you cared. “Wait-” Seemingly, he is too late since you’ve already shut the car door and made your way up your driveway. “Goddammit.” He sighs to himself, working to take off his seatbelt.

Your feet hurriedly take you to your door after you exit Chenle’s car, your nerves increase as you hear Chenle leave his car. “Y/N, I-”

The door opens before you can turn the handle, your mother’s smiling face looks back at you. “Hey, Honey.” You smile back at the woman, who immediately notices the emotions behind your smile. Quietly, she asks: “Are you okay?”

As soon as you nod in response, her eye catches Chenle standing guilty behind you. “Chenle! How are you?”

Chenle smiles with a nod, “I’m doing alright.”

“Well, I would invite you in for dinner but I can imagine what your answer will be.” She says jokingly, teasing him for all the times he had rejected her offer. To her surprise, Chenle doesn’t laugh awkwardly or agree with her, instead, he ponders for a bit. His gaze finds your own causing you to quickly look away. He feels his heart contract as he thinks of starting at square one with you; back to when you couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Actually,” He says, “Dinner sounds great.”

🏀

Even though the tension between you and Chenle is painfully obvious, he feels his heart become lighter as he watches how you interact with your little siblings. Laughing at their childish antics and playing along with them at the dinner table. Your parents engaged in conversation with each other across the table and Chenle sat next to you, smiling and nodding as your little sister animatedly explained to him why the rocks she found next to the trash can at recess just had to be magical. As he looks at the dynamic you have in your home, he realizes that this feels more like a home than his house ever has. All of you are sat at the table, the splash of colors brought by the miscellaneous decorations, the laughter and the love radiating from every corner makes Chenle want to stay there forever.

“Woah!” He acts, “Are you serious?”

The little girl nods proudly, “Mhm! And I’m going to give this one,” she points to a particular shiny one on the dining table, “to Y/N, so she can make her dream come true. But don’t tell her it’s a secret.”

He chuckles at her before whispering, “why do you think she’ll ask for?”

She giggles, leaning closer. She puts a hand over her mouth as she whispers. “Number 22.”

Chenle refrains from gasping, “Huh?”

“She talks about him but she never wants to tell me who he is.” She explains. “But I think if she had a rock to grant her wishes, she would wish for him.”

Chenle takes this moment to look over at you, studying your side profile as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, helping your little brother with his food.

That’s when it hits him. He realizes that this isn’t what he planned it to be, that the bet he set up with his friends had gone too far, and that if he himself had a magic rock for his use… he would wish for you too.

“Thank you so much for the food, it was delicious.” Chenle says, rubbing his full belly to emphasize. Your mother chuckles. “It was my pleasure, Chenle. You can come back anytime you want, you are always welcome here.”

“I definitely will, ma’am.” He says with a lopsided smile before shaking your father’s hand firmly. You can already tell by the way your father affectionately claps his hand on his shoulder and smiles at him that he too has taken a liking to the boy, like your mother.

“Y/N.” She says sternly, turning to you who currently battled to avoid Chenle’s eyes. You hum. “Be polite and walk Chenle to his car, please.”

You grimace subtly, not wanting to be the awkward air that would come with being alone with him. You want desperately to say no, but the gaze your mother gives you tells you that would mean trouble for you.

The basketball player notices your hesitation and looks down sadly at his sneakers, remaining that way as you lead him to the front door of your house. Its then that Chenle looks up to the view of the back of your head, his hand twitches in want to smoothen out the ahi at the back of your head for you.

You catch Chenle mid dilemma as you turn to face him, gesturing towards the open door. His eyes shift from you to the door. And to his car, he thinks about the ride home and how once he gets home it will just be him and he’ll be alone.

He doesn’t want to be alone. Strangely enough, he wants to be with you.

“Chenle?” He hears your soft voice. Your eyebrows are furrowed as you watch him stand there, unmoving, with a look of confusion. He looks into your eyes and realizes you’re waiting for him to walk through the door first. He does so, head tilted down. You follow him out the door and close it behind you.

You trail behind him until he reaches his car, however, instead of getting in like you expected him to, he turns abruptly to you. His eyes are glossy and startled at the sight of them. “Do you-“ He pauses, hesitating. “Do you wanna go for a drive?”

“A drive?” You ask, watching him fiddle nervously with his keys.

“Yes.”

“Right now?” He nods firmly.

“I don’t- I don’t think my parents will let me go out this late.” You say, wrapping your arms around yourself to combat the winter wind. Before saying in a quieter voice, remembering the events that took place earlier that day, “And I thought you wanted to be alone.”

Chenle feels guilty upon hearing your words. Knowing you felt hurt by his words from earlier. He shakes his head, stepping closer to you. “No. I don’t. That’s the last thing I want right now.”

You see something in his eyes that you had never seen before. Exhaustion mixed with sadness and worry. The usually mischievous happy go lucky look nowhere to be seen amongst all the turmoil you found looking at him. You immediately grew more concerned. “Chenle…” you say, he looks away momentarily. “I’ll- let me ask my parents.”

Much like many times before, you’re sat in the passenger's side of his expensive car. The scene has become common, except the ambiance is different. Chenle doesn’t attempt to start conversation like he always does, instead, he just stares forward blankly. Occasional tears rolling down his pale cheeks which he wipes away as soon as they appear, you are itching to ask the boy what is going on in his pretty head but decide against it once you remember how that turned out earlier. So you keep silent as Chenle presses harder on the gas causing the streetlights of the empty highway to become a blur above you. It momentarily impressed you how fast his car could go, however, once you look over at the boy, you see his state. Chenle has strings of tears running down his face, snot dripping out of his nose and even his hair is sticking to his forehead due to his excessive sweating.

“Chenle, maybe we should pull over.”

He doesn’t seem to hear you, only pushing further down on the accelerator. Fear and concern enters your bloodstream as you watch him become a version of himself you’ve never seen, a version you didn’t even think existed. You reach over took him and rest your shaky hand on his arm. Upon feeling your touch, his head snaps to you and he hits the brakes abruptly causing your entire body to jolt forward. “Woah!”

Chenle’s chest heaves as he sees how scared he has made you. “I’m- I’m sorry.”

“Pull over, Chenle.” You say sternly, pulling your hand away and instead of doing what he wanted to do which was pulling your hand back to him, he does as you told him and park his car on the side of the road. The two of you sit in silence for what feels like forever, until you hear a sniffle come from Chenle’s side of the car. Looking over, you notice how he is hunched over the steering wheel, crying.

“Chenle?” You use the softest voice you could muster. “Chenle, what’s wrong?”

Your immediate response is silence. He takes in short choked breaths, it seems like every breath he takes causes him to fall into a state of agony.

“I think-” he said, voice quivering. “Y/N, I think I’m a bad person.”

The sentence confuses you. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I did something terrible to someone I care about.” He answers, you note that he is not able to meet your eyes. It scares you. “What did you do?”

“I can’t-” He says breathlessly, his hand fumbling to open his car door. Stumbling out, watch as he makes his way around the car, leaning against the cement railing with his head in his hands.

You watch him in momentary shock before following him his actions and getting out of the car as well. You carefully approach him. “What is going on with you?”

Chenle sighs, pulling his hands away from his face. “I had a fight with my mother this morning, and everything was just piling up and I guess that was just the last straw.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just… everyone expects so much from me.” He breathes. “My parents, my friends, my teachers, everyone at that damn school!” The railing in front of him takes the blows of his frustration. “And I don’t think i’m as good as they think i am, i'm not worth it.” He looks over at you and you immediately straighten at the sight of his red face. “Like you, Y/N. You’re so good to me, so nice and sweet. I don’t deserve it. Especially from you.”

You don’t know what he means by that. Chenle knows you don’t know but he stays silent. You take this as your chance to speak. “I’m not only nice to you because I want to be. Because you’ve always been nice to me too, Chenle.” You dare to step closer, into his bubble. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, it would be impossible to meet everyone’s expectations so just be yourself… that’s enough for a lot of people.”

Chenle’s mouth speaks before he can stop it. “Is it enough for you?”

To forgive me? To still be the same after you realize what I’ve done.

There is a silence that follows that one sentence, Chenle avoids your gaze nervously, he doesn’t realize that your silence is the product of your racing mind. The mind that is currently trying to find the words to describe what is happening in your heart. You ultimately decided that the best way to go is the truth.

“You know… I kinda had a crush on you all throughout high school, which is kind of embarrassing but that’s not the point,” you start, “the point is that I had this perfect version of you in my head. Of what you would be like. And then when you came up to me that day… I didn’t know if I could talk to someone who wasn’t the Chenle I knew up here.” You take the liberty of poking a finger against your temple. “But I did anyway, and I realized you were nothing like the Chenle I saw in my head…”

Chenle chuckled sadly before commenting, “Ouch.”

“You were better than him.” Chenle’s gaze snaps towards you in shock, you look forward. Too afraid to meet his gaze. “Nicer, funnier, and way more handsome than I thought up close.” You chuckle, having made the comment to help him feel better. “So yeah. I would say you are enough. More than, even.”

“You really mean that?”

For the first time you make eye contact, you furrow your eyebrows to try and make your sincerity as apparent as possible. “I do.”

He knows you do and that mends his heart as much as it breaks it into tiny pieces. He wants nothing more than to pull you towards him and smash his lips onto your own, but he also knows that it will only worsen the situation that is yet to come. Still his hands reach before he can stop them and reach to cup either side of your face.

Your heartbeat is running at an unearthly speed, Chenle can hear it but knows his own is probably the same. Betraying his common sense, he leans into you until your lips are almost touching, the top brushing enough to have you wanting more. You think he’s going to kiss you and close your lips tightly. However, instead of his lips, you feel his hot breath when he utters the words: “I’m sorry.” Before removing his hands from your face and backing away.

You can’t say the action didn’t cause a hurtful blow to your feelings but you also knew Chenle was in a tough place right now. You smile at him. “You don’t have to be sorry.”

Chenle hates how you smile at him when he does things that hurt your feelings. He hates that you’re so considerate and nice to him despite what he is doing to you behind your back. He hates that you will find out one day and that you’ll hate him as much as he hates this. He hates that he doesn’t want to lose you, and that in the end he probably will.

Friday is a holiday, so you don’t see Chenle the day after he took you on a late night drive with him. (You wrote another letter that night). In fact, you don’t hear from him until your phone chimes Saturday morning, Chenle’s name above a text message.

22 [9:15am]: hey

22 [9:15am]: I hope you’re good :)

22 [9:15am]: I just wanted to let you know there’s a party at my house tonight

22 [9:16am]: if you want

22 [9:18am]: actually, I really want you there so…

22 [9:20am]: please come.

You read the texts over a few times, it dawns upon you that you've never seen Chenle’s house. Sure, you’ve heard from classmates who had gone to his huge parties that it was extravagant as can be, resembling a hotel lobby rather than a house. The thought of being in his home made your hands sweat. Still, you remember how anxious you were to see him, especially after the other night, and you find yourself typing a reply of confirmation before tossing your phone to the side and walking to your closet to find something to wear for tonight.

🏀

As soon as your parents drop you off in front of what was easily the biggest, brightest, classiest house you’ve ever seen in your entire life, you get the unnerving urge to go home.

The abundance of people did nothing to help the creeping anxiety, the stares of some that briefly trained on you before whispering something to their friends. You couldn’t help but feel out of place. That is, until you see a familiar face. Jisung walks up to you with his hand wrapped around his girlfriend’s. “Hi!” He calle brightly as the girl waved friendly.

“Hey guys!” You try to stabilize your voice. “How’s the party?”

“Honestly… it kinda turned sour once some lower class men came and started to get wasted.” Jisung chuckled out, his girlfriend nods in agreement as she grips his arm affectionately. You smile when he looks over at her and smiles. There’s a part of you that feels envious of the relationship the two have but most of your thoughts surround how happy you are for the two. “We’re probably leaving soon anyway.” Jisung adds on.

After getting over your monetary panic of having to be alone once again you nod your head, smiling at them. “Okay, I’m going to try to find Chenle.” They nod and bid their farewells, you sigh out loud as you walk through the crowd once again, searching for the blonde hair of the boy you so desperately need to calm right now.

“I heard that she is the one Chenle left Ava for?” You hear someone say.

“No way! Chenle wouldn’t stoop that low, plus I heard Ava broke up with him.”

“Either way, I don’t understand why he would be hanging with her anyway, he probably feels sorry for her. What a loser.”

It’s strange how you can hear their comments over the loud music that causes the walls to vibrate. You feel like vomiting as your insecurities take over and another sweaty presses against you. You push them away and run the rest of the way, not looking to find Chenle anymore just wanting to get out of here. You find what you hope is the bathroom and open the door, running inside and shoving the door closed, chest heaving.

“Y/N?” You hear from behind you, you turn around in shock and make eye contact with the red faced boy you spent your whole night looking for. “Chenle.”

It’s then that you realize that he’s not alone. Across from him is an equally red faced Ava, eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down in a frown.

It dawns upon you that you might have just interrupted something.

You look between the two before averting your gaze back to the floor. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Hands grabbing the door handle and turning it quickly in a desperate attempt to flee the room. Completely deaf to the , “Wait!” That leaves Chenle’s mouth as you leave the room.

Soon enough your back in the sea of sweaty drunks, trying to stabilize your voyage to the front door. To escape the stormy waters this night has caused your nerves.

And you almost make it, had it not been for the harsh shove you received that sent you tumbling onto the floor. Suddenly, the people around you become giants and their huge feet stomp around you, threatening to squash you under their sneakers as if you were an irrelevant bug.

Your shaky legs prevent you from standing up, and you only realize you’re crying when you feel a tear run down the side of your neck. No one seems to notice you’re there and you suddenly remember why being invisible sucks.

It feels like ages have passed when you feel hands gripping your arms and lifting you onto your feet. Chenle’s voice sounds distance even if he’s barely an inch away from you. “Are you okay?”

“I think-“ you say, shakily. “I think I’m having a panic attack.”

Chenle takes your head and shoves it into his chest, making sure to keep a hand over your eyes as he leads you through the crowd. “It’s okay.” He whispers. “Everything is going to be okay.”

He repeats the sentences over and over until you two reach a quieter place and you hear the door of a shutting door and the music becomes muffled.

Chenle keeps a hand secured around your head as he holds you for a few more seconds before slowly letting you go.

“I need you to breathe with me, okay?” He says. Before you can think, you nod. “In through your nose.” He demonstrated, you follow. “Out through your mouth.”

You continue this until the beating of your heart has slowed down and you don’t feel like you're physically suffocating anymore. Instead, you feel tired. Chenle must have noticed because he ushers you to lay on the neatly made bed behind you, tucking you in before you had time to protest.

🏀

It takes a whole ten minutes for either of you to speak, you half expected Chenle to leave after throwing this blue blanket over you, instead, he sits at the edge of the mattress and picks at his nails. Kind of like he wants to say something.

“Thank you for helping me.” You speak first. “I don’t know what went wrong.”

Chenle sighs, “I’m sorry for not finding you, I just- I was-“

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain.” You interrupt, remembering where he was when you finally found him. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, still you know it’s not your place to question him. “I should get going, anyway.” You rush to slip on your shoes only to be stopped by Chenle.

“No, it’s not what you thought it was.” He starts. You avert your gaze from him in fear of what he had to say. “Ava and I ran into each other earlier and she was just going off about how horrible I was in front of everyone. I think she was drunk, but she was causing a scene so I wanted to take her somewhere where it wouldn’t cause a commotion. I didn’t want to bring her in here so I just took her to the bathroom” He says, “We got into a bit of an argument, and that’s when you walked in.”

“It’s-“

“She told me she wanted to get back together.” He blurts out, like he was getting something off his chest.

“Oh.” Is your reply.

“Obviously I said no.” He says, almost expectedly. He doesn’t know that the knot that was tightening in your chest loosened a bit at his words. He watches you for a bit before speaking again. “What- what’s on your mind?”

The question catches you off guard. You don’t really know what’s on your mind, the messy twister of thoughts going too fast for you to be able to reach in and grab a coherent thought. Only one thing pops up and you go with it.

“Is this your room?”

Chenle is silent for a second before he says. “Uh, yeah? Yes, it is.”

You hum, laying on your back once again. It’s then that you notice the glow in the dark stars Chenle has stuck to the ceiling of his room, identical to the ones in your own. “You have stars on your ceiling.”

He chuckles embarrassingly, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’ve lived here since I was a kid my grandad put them up there when I was young and I just never got around to taking them down.”

“I have the same ones on mine.”

“Really?” He asks. But he can’t help the shift his heart takes as he thinks of the two of you laying under the same glow in the dark stars every night.

Before he knew it, he was walking towards the light switch and flicking it off. The lights shine to their full potential over you. It eases you a bit, until you feel the bed dip next to you and you smell his close proximity to you, feeling the warmth coming his shoulder where it touches your own as you lay side by side.

The silence is comfortable this time.

“Do you ever have panic attacks?” You ask suddenly.

Chenle shakes his head but remembers you can see him, “No.” He whispers, as if someone would hear him. “But Jisung does sometimes, so I learned some techniques to be able to help him through it.”

You smile into the darkness. “That’s nice of you.” You lower your voice to his whispering tone.

Suddenly words are absent and the two of you just stare at the stars to the ceiling.

You know it’s weird, that after the other night, you are lying in Chenle’s bed beside him like nothing happened. Like you had always been there. You wondered whether you should be glad or scared that you feel that way.

Beside you, Chenle is having his own dilemma. On one part, he feels relieved that you’re safe now, that no one can hurt you now that you’re here with him. He feels comforted that you look so at home in his room, blending in so well it almost sends his head reeling. (Partially the reason he turned off the lights.) On another part, he feels so scared that he wants to think you blend in and that he wants to tell you everything in his head. That he wants to let you in, when he knows he shouldn’t. That he felt concern in his veins when he saw you in such a panicked state earlier, and all he wanted to do was tuck you into his chest and protect you forever.

Why did he want to protect you forever?

He turns on his side, you feel it. His breath fans on the side of your face. You turn to his darkness, staring to where you knew his face would be.

“Can I tell you something?” He says, it’s too late to take it back now, since you nod. “The other night when I ate dinner at your house…” he starts, “I was in such a bad place, And I never thanked you for putting up with me and having me over for dinner, it made me feel so much better, you know before everything blew up in the car.”

You furrow your eyebrows at his words. “That was actually my mom’s doing, but I will make sure to tell her you said so.”

Chenle shakes his head, kissing his teeth. “No, that’s not it. It was because you were there, Y/N.”

You hold your breath when he said that, not replying. Chenle takes his own in an attempt to calm his rapid heart. “Spending time with your family kinda made me feel like I was a part of something special.” He confesses. “Something you were a part of.”

An unsteady exhale tumbles from your lips, his statement doing a number on your heart. “What… what are you trying to say?”

This is it, Chenle. Tell her about the bet, confess what you did and fix everything before things get too serious and you break her heart. Tell her the truth!

‘The truth’ Chenle thinks. ‘Okay.’

“I like you, Y/N.” You don’t see that he is squeezing his eyes shut even if the room is pitch black.

“What?” You say in disbelief, even if the butterflies have already started erupting in your stomach.

“I like you.” He repeats. “So much.”

You stare in his direction in a state of shock and happiness. Meanwhile, Chenle beats himself up in his mind, taking your silence as a bad sign. “It's okay if you don’t want to be a thing or anything, I just thought, you know, since I like you and you like me… Liked? Is that past tense?”

Your head shakes and causes a ruffling noise against his pillow. “No, it’s very much present tense.”

The warmth pressed against your shoulder disappears. And you hear Chenle’s footsteps throughout the room, suddenly the world turns bright and Chenle walks back to the bed. Now with the light on, he can see the blush on your cheeks and the small smile you wear. He smiles back at you, but he feels bad. So, so bad.

So bad that leans down to lay over you, kissing your breath away.

It's only after the momentary surprise that you begin to kiss him back.

His lips are rougher than you thought they would be, but still held some pillow like softness you expected. His hands hold your cheeks as he dips down further to bring his lips closer to yours.

Now you totally understood why everyone was so crazy about kissing. It’s the best thing ever, and you never want it to end. However, breathing becomes an issue when you kiss someone, you learned. Chenle is the first to pull away, keeping his face a barely centimeters from your own, your breaths meet in the middle.

When you finally open your eyes, you are met with Chenle’s worried ones already watching you. You immediately frown.

“What’s wrong?” You ask. Are you a bad kisser? Does your breath smell? Does he regret it? His response is unlike those, shocking you when the words leave his mouth.

“I don’t want to break your heart, Y/N.” He looks away from you. His body is still positioned above you, the position being one that makes it hard to avoid your eyes (and one that is even suggestive). Still he tries his best, that is, until he feels your soft hands cradling his cheeks just as he has been doing to your own just a few minutes ago.

“Chenle, look at me.” You say, though your voice is wavering. He obliges. “Why are you worried about that?”

“I just-” You can tell he would look away if you weren’t holding his head in place, he can’t hide his eyes now. “I’m just afraid I'll do something to hurt you and that you’ll hate me.” He says, which isn’t the whole truth but is also not a lie.

“Why would I hate you? I could never.” Chenle wants to scoff sadly when you say that but you cut him off. “I’ll promise to not break your heart if you promise to not break mine.” You extend your pinky in between your faces.

Chenle winces internally, feeling like he already broke your heart. And he is more scared now that it’s real. That you like each other and this probably makes you guys a thing, that he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings like he knows he will. But he also thinks about the fact that he has never felt this way with anyone else, that you were the first girl he ever felt comfortable enough with to let in his room, that you have glow in the dark stars like him and that it kind of feels like you’re split-aparts that have finally found each other. The longer he could keep you by his side, the better.

That’s when he decides to let himself live in this world, at least while he can. He wraps his pinky around yours and lets your thumbs touch, sealing the deal.

He doesn’t have time to regret his decision because you lean up and catch his lips before he can think of anything but you.

🏀

Two weeks later, and most of your days have been spent much like this one. Chenle’s arms wrap protectively around your middle as you read the messages on your phone. One being a reminder from the president of the student council about the special dress code for Valentine’s Day.

You turn in Chenle’s hold and meet his sleepy eyes, he smiles. “Did you see what the student council is doing?”

“Mm?” He replies, you turn your phone to him. “A dress code?”

“Yep, white for single, pink for complicated, and red for taken.” You say, bringing attention back to you phone. “I’m glad I look good in pink.”

The statement confuses Chenle. “What do you mean pink? What is complicated?”

You startle at the awareness and worry on his voice compared to the sleepy mumbles you were getting just moments ago. “Well… I mean, you never asked me to be your girlfriend.”

Chenle freezes. You were right, he never did because part of the bet was to have a girlfriend by Valentines, it made him feel as though he wasn’t a complete asshole if he hadn’t completed the bet. “You’re right.”

You watch him expectedly, but receive no response. Holding back a sigh, you bring your attention back down to your phone.

“Are you upset with me?” His soft voice meets your ears.

You shake your head. “Of course not, why would I be?”

“It’s not fair to you that I keep you waiting.” None of what I’ve done to you is fair, he thinks.

You reach up and stroke the hair that frames his face, smiling softly. “I’ll wait until you’re ready, Chenle. You know that.”

It scares him how soft you are, how warm and safe he feels when he’s with you. That’s when he decides, it’s best if he waits out this week and lets himself live like this longer, even if it’s for a bit.

“Kiss me.” He whispers. And you do. Pushing your chest flush against his, making sure every part of your body touches his own; remaining like that until you are sure you have blisters lining your lips from how much you’ve kissed him.

The two of you end up hotly panting, you straddled over his lying figure. Chenle looks up at you from where he is before sitting up, suddenly, you feel the warmth of his hands tug at the edge of your shirt. His eyes ask for permission, which you reply to with a nod.

You’re nervous. Very much so. You wonder if this will be the first time you have sex or if anything else will happen.

Chenle lifts your shirt off your head and places it next to your body. “Is this okay?” He asks, his big innocent eyes looking up at you.

“Yes.” Is the only answer you can formulate.

The boy maintains eye contact with you as he says the following words. “Do you want to take off mine?”

Your face flushed red, you can feel it. “I-if that’s okay with you.” His answer is in the form of his hands leading your own to the hem of his shirt, before letting go and putting his arms up. Your hands are shaking as you grab the clothing, slowly pulling it up, exposing his pale abdomen inch by beautiful inch.

You smile at him as his head finally reappears from the whole in his shirt. “Hi.” You say, he smiles.

What he does next is something you didn’t expect from the lead up of events, unlike anything you’ve seen in erotic movie or read about in novels.

He wraps his arms around your waist and pushes you down to lay next to him, he then pulls you towards him so that your the heat of your torso melts into his own. He shuffles until he is as close to you as he can get, only then is when stops moving. Resting his cheek against your own, you feel his breath on your ear.

“I just want to be close to you, to hold you.”

Just like that your heart is full to the brim once again.

It’s the night before Valentine’s Day and Chenle is restless. He had decided tomorrow would be the day he would tell you everything. He would come clean and the two of you would start over (right?). He had practiced what he was going to say for hours earlier that night, wanting to have the perfect words so that his message got across to you. Still, even with all that practice, he knows there’s no guarantee that you won’t hate him. That you will swear him off and never speak to him again, when he has become so fond of you. The thought makes his hands ache and toes curl in an angsty feeling.

After tossing and turning for nearly two hours, he finally gives up on sleeping and opts for looking at the stars stuck to his ceiling. He wonders if you’re awake right now. If you’re thinking about him while looking at your stars. He imagines your messy hair and pajamas and smiles softly to himself. “I miss her.” He says out loud, to the darkness of his room.

Suddenly, everything happens in a flash as he throws his covers off himself and marches to the closet, pulling out his favorite red hoodie, grabbing the Valentine’s Day gift he had gotten you days ago then he’s in his car. Desperate to get where you are.

It’s nearly 1am when you hear the knocking on your window. You had just begun to fall asleep when the noise startled you awake.

Upon inspecting your window cautiously, you gasp when you see Chenle’s blonde hair. The window opens with a click. “Chenle! What are you doing here?”

What is he doing here? “I just wanted to see you.”

His words flutter your heart. “But it’s 1am, on a school night.”

“I know that, I just…” he scratches the back of his neck because in reality he doesn’t know why the hell he even came here in the first place. “I had to give you something.”

He extends the bag in his hand out to you. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

The bag contains two items, the first being the red hoodie you had seen Chenle wear many times before. His smell reeked off of it, causing you to nearly die of delight. “Wear this tomorrow.” He says. “Cause you’re mine.”

You don’t know that his heart hurts for you, he pities you for being the one who causes him to lose all self control and make decisions that will hurt you in the long run. He feels so sorry that he couldn’t wait until tomorrow, that he just wanted you today, now. Before you get the chance to hate him. To run away. He wanted you to be his.

You say nothing to him, only smiling bashfully as your cheeks matched the color of his clothing item. You look into the bag and see a black box that would be the second item. “What’s this?” You say to yourself, smiling up at Chenle. You open the box to reveal a beautiful necklace with a pretty pink diamond hanging off the end. You gasp.

“Chenle, I can't accept that.” You say, closing it. You knew the necklace probably cost more than your house, you felt guilty taking it.

“Please accept it. I bought it for you. I want to see it on you every day.” He seizes the opportunity to reassure himself. “And yes. It cost a lot, so that means we have to continue seeing each other, hm?”

“Chenle…” you say.

“Please.” He says in a way that makes you wonder if this is only about the necklace.

“Okay.”

You pivot and allow him to clip the chain, you turn to him and catch his reaction to the jewelry resting against your upper chest. “How do I look?”

Chenle’s eyes study the necklace before looking into your own. He smiles somewhat sadly as his arm reaches up to stroke your own. “You look beautiful.” He whispers. “Just like I knew you would.”

You can’t put your finger on it, but something about his demeanor is unsettling. “Chenle, is something wrong?” You ask, to which he shakes his head weakly, but the sad look on his face tells you otherwise. You figure it had something to do with his family and refrain from asking. Instead you cup his cheek to provide him comfort, he leans into your touch and shits his eyes momentarily. “I love it. Thank you.” You say in a quiet voice. Chenle watches your features move into a soft smile before impulsively leaning forward to peck your lips.

“I’m so happy.” To be with you, to be yours. “Let's be happy together for a long time, okay?”

You don’t say no.

The next morning you arrive before every other student to school. Chenle’s red sweater rests on your figure as you reach your locker and take out what had been heavy in your mind since last night. The letters. You were going to give them to Chenle and ask him to be your boyfriend. Sure, you were nervous to do so, but you knew Chenle was someone you wanted to have in your life for a long time. That's why you slip the envelopes decorated with his name one by one into the vent of his locker.

You remember thinking this would be the beginning of something great.

You were wrong.

🏀

There’s a pep in your step as you make your way through the halls after school clad in Chenle’s red hoodie, heart eyes searching for the boy.

And for the first time in probably ever, you wished you wouldn’t have found him. You wished you didn’t have to see Chenle pressed up against his locker with his hands resting on Ava’s hips as she kisses him roughly.

“Oh my god.” You say, voice small but enough to catch Chenle’s ear. The boy immediately pushes Ava away from him and turns to the sound of your voice with pleading eyes.

“Y/N-“

“Look who showed up!” Ava interrupts, turning fully towards you. “I was wondering when you were going to come looking for him like you always do, I bet you’re glad it’s over, right Chenle?”

The way the boy looks away from your eyes to shift his guilty gaze to the floor makes you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Chenle what is she talking about?”

When the boy remains silent, Ava’s high pitched voice answers for him. “Well, since he doesn’t seem very talkative right now, I’ll just tell you myself.” She clears her throat, as if setting the scene, your hands are starting to ache. “A month ago, our darling Chenle made a bet with his friends after our break up, you know as boys do, they said he couldn’t get another girlfriend before Valentine’s Day. Obviously, Chenle’s competitive self took that as a challenge and it’s obvious that you had been in love with him for like ever so you were the easiest target.”

The way the world stops spinning isn’t like it’s described in all the romance novels you read, it’s not the good kind that makes you feel like you're floating that nothing could stop you, it’s the kind that weighs you down and makes you feel dizzy, causing you to stumble. This is what you feel when you ask: “Chenle… is this true?” And the boy just stares at you, for a second before looking away once again.

“Of course, it’s true. He was even showing me the pathetic love letters you wrote to him.” She motions to the stack of letters in Chenle’s hands. You gasp, feeling like every last bit of you was torn apart. The thought of them reading the deepest tellings of your heart and laughing at it, all when you wholeheartedly believed that the boy you spoke about in the letters was finally all yours.

When he wasn’t. He was never yours. But he wanted you to think that.

“Oh my god,” you run to him and attempt to rip the letters out of his hands only for him to hold on tighter. “Let go, Chenle.”

“Y/N, please-“

You can’t help the sob that creeps up your throat as your attempt weakly to shake your heart out of his hands. “Please, let go.”

Chenle watches you cry before him and feels like that the act of ripping his actual heart out of his chest would hurt less than this.

You take this moment of weakness and rip the letters out of his grasp, before running down the hall.

It’s only when you feel a hand grasp your shoulder and spin you around that you realize that Chenle has followed you all the way out to the parking lot.

Seeing him caused every bone in your body to ache, and the contractions in your heart were hard to ignore. “Wait, okay? I need to explain somethings to you.”

“I don’t want to hear your explanations! I just want to go home.” You realize that you probably sound like a bratty child but you couldn’t care less.

Chenle nods, “Okay, then let’s go.”

“Not with you.”

Chenle can't help the dagger that the sentence shoots into his heart. “Then I’ll say what I need to say right here!” He exclaims, trying to mask his pain with anger. “It’s true that I made a bet with my friends to date you the day I first drove you home, and it’s really shitty of me, I know. But I had just broken up with Ava and everything was so messy and I just wanted to make her feel bad so I said yes. “ He pauses, “I said yes and so I went to you since I knew you liked me-“

“Jesus,” you wince, embarrassment creeping up your throat and clogging it up. Your eyes water as you think of how truly fucked up the situation is.

That day, one month ago, you were right to question Chenle’s intentions. No, he didn’t admire you or see you the way you saw him, you were just easy bait. And everything has been a lie. “I can’t- I can’t do this.”

Chenle tries to stop the tears of guilt that threatened to leak from the corners of his eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“No you’re not.” Your bitter words are a shock to Chenle, he had never heard you use that tone with him (or with anyone) before. “You’re not fucking sorry.” Tears of humiliation and frustration run down your face and Chenle wants desperately to cradle your cheeks in his hands, but thinks he might never be able to after this. “It might not have been a big deal to you Chenle, but you were my first kiss, you were the first guy who ever took me on dates and drove me around in his car, you. And I thought you were the first boy who ever liked me.” The smell of him you once loved reeks of the hoodie covering your body, however, instead of feeling welcomed and happy you feel like it’s creeping up the sides of your neck and suffocating you to no end. You groan as you grab the hem of the article and rip it off your body, leaving you in a flimsy t-shirt to combat the winter cold.

Chenle sighs, “I know you’re mad at me but you’re going to get sick if you walk home like that. It’s cold.”

You scoff in response, “Lucky for you then, because you don’t need to worry about me anymore.” In a quieter voice you say. “I was probably just a burden to you this whole time.”

The boy immediately opposes the statement, “You were never a burden, I liked hanging out with you. I care about you.”

“Only because it helped you win that stupid bet, and to make your ex jealous!” You exclaim, finally looking into his sorry eyes. He looks tired, you almost falter in your stance before putting up the wall separating you two that had always been there before the day he drove you home.

You wished he had never approached you, because the Chenle in your dreams would never do this to you.

It’s in that moment that you feel the weight of the dove on your neck, your finger move to unhinge it as you place it on top of the hoodie resting against his chest. You watch his jaw tense as he looks at you. You make eye contact one last time with the blonde haired boy in front of you, Before sadly turning away.

“Y/n please,” it’s the weakest you’ve ever heard his usually booming voice. “Don’t leave me like this. What about our promise, huh? You’re breaking my heart right now.” Chenle knows the attempt to get you to stay is pathetic and desperate but he’s at a loss of what to do.

Angrily, you spit. “You broke my heart the moment you approached me that day so I guess that promise was made to be broken wasn’t it?”

Chenle watches you walk away with your arms wrapped tightly around your shaking body. He sees as you walk past a trash can and dump all your letters into it, wiping your tears and starting your journey to the bus stop.

And he would never share this with you, walks up the trash can with tears in his eyes and reaches into the garbage, picking out every letter in there. He figures it’s the only piece of your heart he can manage to save for himself. It’s proof that the hate you now hold in your heart for him was once love.

Even if he ruined everything.

You never knew they called it heartbreak because your chest physically hurts this much. At times you feel like throwing up, at others you want to throw all your belongings across your room. The pain was almost unbearable at the beginning, embarrassing and hot flashes of anger running through you constantly as you think back to that moment.

You don’t go to school that Monday, telling your mom you were feeling sick. Which isn’t entirely a lie, especially when you see Chenle’s car pull up outside your house that morning. You feel like throwing up again. You’re angry at him. So so angry that he thinks things will be the same after what he did. That he thinks he can pull up at your house and drive you around after completely breaking your heart.

You pull the blinds down as your mom comes through your door. “Honey, Chenle is here.”

“Tell him to leave.” You seeth, tears running down your face. You wipe them away frustratedly. “Tell him to never come back here, Mom.”

Your mother watches with sad, sympathetic eyes. Before nodding solemnly and closing the door on her way out.

Due to a strange urge, you peek through the blinds and wait to see him walk out your driveway. He does, dragging his feet. Much to your dismay, he stops suddenly and turns to face your window. You immediately step away in the darkness of your room, away from the light and Chenle’s eyes.

Three weeks pass, things at school remain the same for the most part. You hang out with Donghyuck like you used to. You try your best to not look over at the athletes table even when you feel Chenle’s eyes on you. However, somethings do change, you no longer spend your class time daydreaming about a certain blonde boy, or writing love letters on the back pages of your notebook about how pretty his eyes look when they catch the light. Instead, you stare out the window of your classrooms, wanting nothing more than to be in your room away from everyone once again. You sigh and look away from the window momentarily before looking up again. You startle as you see Chenle on the other side of the glass. Watching you with eyes that looked like they had a lot to say. You shudder when you take in the bag under his eyes and exhaustion written all over his face. You want to believe it’s because of you, you hope it is. You hope he can’t sleep at night thinking of you. Nevertheless, you remember what happened on Valentine’s Day and realize you were probably too insignificant to him to have caused him to be this way.

He softly smiles at you, bringing his hesitant hands up to wave at you, only for you to avert your eyes away from him and to the teacher at the front of the room.

Chenle looks down dejectedly before continuing his walk, meanwhile you sit at your desk, wanting to escape more than ever.

Three days later, your mother informs you that you have a visitor. “Tell him I don’t want to see him.”

“It’s not Chenle.” She says before confusedly adding: “He said his name is Jisung.”

Jisung? What the hell is he doing here? “I’ll be down in a minute.”

When you finally get down stairs Jisung smiles awkwardly at you before gesturing towards the door. “Do you like milkshakes?”

“What is this about?”

The words that say heavy on your tongue the whole car ride here finally leave you as you sit across Jisung at Billy’s. He sips his milkshake before clearing his throat to speak. “How have you been?”

You’ve been really shitty. “I’ve been fine, I guess.”

Jisung hums, rubbing his hand together before sighing. “I guess we should just get straight to the point, then.” He pauses, “Have you spoken to Chenle recently?”

While you figured this meeting had something with Chenle, you still sit up straighter when you hear his name. You clear your throat as if this is a kind of declaration. “No. I haven’t spoken to him since Valentine’s day.” You don’t want to ask about him, so you try the next best thing. “Why- why do you ask?”

“I haven’t seen him since last week.” Jisung says, something in your stomach doesn’t sit right. “He’s been missing practice, which he never did, and he’s not answering any of my messages or calls. And the pre-final game is tomorrow and no one has heard from him.”

His words are bazar. Basketball is unarguably the most important thing in Chenle’s life, why would he risk this chance of winning the championship like this? “He hasn’t spoken to me either, sorry.” You say, but your mind is fogged with worry as to where the boy could be. Jisung remains silent for some time before he clicks his tongue.

“I know what happened between you two.” You avoid his gaze and feel blood rush to your cheeks. “And I think you’re right for not talking to him after that.��

How could he say that about his best friend? Still, you nod. “But I think you only know a part of what’s really going on here.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, yeah. The whole thing started as a bet, but after a few weeks Chenle told me that something changed. He said he didn’t want to do the bet anymore, that he felt guilty for using you like that because he ended up really really liking you Y/N and I’m not just saying this because he is my best friend or anything but I think when the time is right, you should give him a chance.”

You finally look up at him and realize upon feeling a tear trail down your face that you were crying. You wipe it away quickly and sigh. “I don’t know, Jisung. He really hurt me, I was so embarrassed I felt like I could die.”

“Sometimes we make stupid decisions.” The ‘we’ reminds you of the story of Jisung and his girlfriend’s love story that Chenle animatedly told you about one night you stayed at his house. You remember wondering how someone as sweet as Jisung could do any of those things, and how his girlfriend could forgive him for any of it.However, you knew the love they had for each other in their hearts was more than the anger due to his actions. You wonder if the attachment you have for Chenle would ever be enough.

Jisung reads your mind. “I think he loves you.”

Your eyes become wide as planets before you scoff in disbelief. “Don’t say that.” You say, weak hearted.

“He does! While you two were still a thing he wouldn’t stop talking about how cute you were, how good you are at basketball and how you have the same glow in the dark stars on your ceiling that he does.”

What? You didn’t think cared enough to talk about you or to remember those details. “He told you that?”

Jisung nods, “And a lot of other things, but I don’t think we’ll have the time.”

“He… he never told me he loved me.” You thought Chenle had just come into your life as a lesson to always be on your guard, to never let anyone in and protect yourself above others. But now… you wonder if you meant more to Chenle than you thought.

“Take it from me,” Jisung says, “sometimes those 8 letters can be the hardest to say.”

🏀

Once you’ve parted ways with Jisung, (who offered to drive you home to which you politely declined to, telling him the walk home would give you time to think) you make your way home on your dirty sneakers and think about what Jisung said.

It’s hard to believe that Chenle would actually say those things about you, while knowing he was playing you. You wondered if it really did change for him like Jisung said, and if he really felt sorry like he was telling you that day in the parking lot.

You’re so lost in thought that you don’t realize the familiar car parked in front of your house until you hear the voice your heart has been longing to hear for weeks now. “Is Y/N home?”

You bolt to the nearest bush and duck behind it, close enough to hear their words but far enough that Chenle and your conflicted mother are unaware of your presence. “Oh, I’m sorry sweetie she went out a few hours ago.”

“Oh.” You flinch when you hear the disappointment in his voice. “Can you tell her I stopped by?” And that I miss her, he wants to say but you don’t know that. “And please give this to her too if it’s not too much trouble.” You hear shuffling as Chenle hands whatever it is he wanted to give you to your mom.

“I will, sweetie.” Your mom says. “And Chenle?” There's a pause in which he hums. “Get some sleep, honey.”

You can imagine that Chenle throws her his signature polite smile, “I will try, Ma’am.”

It’s not longer after that you hear his sneakers against the steps of your porch and see him get into his car. You have a perfect view of him from where you are. Watching as he frustratedly runs his hands through his hair and throws his head back against the seat. You don’t know why you feel sorry for him. You know you should be angry but after what Jisung told you, you need to stop yourself from going to him.

You contemplate if even looking inside the bag is a decision.

It sits in front of you neatly on your bed where you had placed it after your mother handed it to you with a worried: “He looks so tired, Y/N.” Which caused hurt to arise in your heart.

The bag is a bright red one, the type that usually is full of candies and sweets, maybe flowers. You want to know what is inside manically, but you're afraid about what this would mean for your relationship (if you could even call it that) with Chenle. Is this his final goodbye or is this him trying to get you back?

You had to know.

Upon opening it, you are shocked to see a pale yellow envelope with your name written in Chenle’s messy handwriting on top. You grab it with shaky hands, the texture is different somehow, because for the first time ever, this letter was meant for you.

Inside, there is a loose leaf paper much like the ones you had sent to him neatly folded. Your heart beats in your ear as you finally see the first words, you breathe in deeply and read away.

“Y/N,

I thought for a long time about what I would say to you in this letter, I’ve been sitting on it for three weeks trying to find the right things to say that would convince you to forgive me before I realized that they all sounded tacky and cliche when I read them back. So, i’ve decided to just go with the truth. It’s true that at first I wasn't honest with you, that I only approached you to complete a dare my friends had given me that day and I won’t make any excuses because I was such a huge asshole to you. I was just so hurt that day because of Ava and I wanted to make her feel like shit so bad, I wanted to hurt her like she had hurt me and I used you to do so, Y/N. But after I approached you and started spending time with you,I started thinking back to all the times I would look at you when the sun came in through the window in the English classroom before I had even spoken a word to you. I bet you didn’t know I did that, did you?”

You didn’t, the you at that time would’ve freaked out if she knew though.

“I remember thinking you were so pretty, that you were untouchable to me so i just never tried. But something changed when i got to know you, i realized that you were the coolest person i’ve ever met, that you were real and that you were there with me whenever i needed someone. No one has ever made me feel so safe and comforted. I became selfish with you because I never wanted it to end. I didn’t want to tell you because i was scared you would hate me do you hate me? The night before valentines i went to your house because i planned on telling you everything the next day, i wanted to see your happy eyes just once more just in case i ruined everything. On Valentine’s day, when i got to school and read your letters. You wouldn’t believe how happy I was to read all the wonderful things you said about me. I was so happy that you held me as close to your heart as I held you to my own. I was going to tell you everything after that, i was going to confess and tell you that i couldn’t go another day with this secret. I was going to tell you how i felt but Ava stopped me, she told me she knew about the bet and then she kissed me and that's when you showed up. I’m so sorry you had to see that, I’m so that i used you like that. I’m sorry that I took advantage of you but I want you to know that I meant everything I told you, I loved spending time with you, and being with your family made me feel so special. I remember thinking we were split aparts and i know that sounds stupid but i really want you to know that i meant it. And every kiss we shared and every time I held you I felt it and I really really really mean it when i say that i loved you. I loved you so much that I didn't ever want to lose you.”

The past tense makes your chest tighten.

“I won’t tell you to forgive me, but your spot on the bleachers looks so empty without you. The pre finals are tomorrow and i would love it if you came, to cheer me on like you used to. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to but I wanted to give you something that would portray how serious I am about this. That if you are willing to come cheer me on with a part of me with you.”

This when you reach into the bag and pull out the item that once laid underneath your letter. The 22 of Chenle’s basketball jersey stares back at you, you gasp as you hold the fabric in your fingers. You had watched him run around the court with this very jersey plenty times before, you knew how much being number 22 meant to him. You were grateful he would trust you so important to him, you really wanted to grab his face and tell him that. Instead, you finish reading the letter.

“You make me feel brave. And I will forever be sorry for what I did to you, but I mean it when I say I loved you I still love you.

Please come. - Zhong Chenle.”

He loves you! Present tense. You could almost jump from joy. You want to see him, tell him you love him too. A million times if you can. You want to say that you forgive him for everything, that you have felt incomplete without him these past few weeks and the Chenle you made up in your mind was too perfect anyway.

Chenle sighs for the upteenth time the next afternoon as he stretches along with his teammates. He tries his best to take his mind off of you for the time being, at least until after the game is over, he needed to focus but he found it very hard when he began to wonder what was going through your head when you read his letter, and if you were coming today.

He startles when he feels a hand on his shoulder. Hopeful, he turns. His hopefulness fades away when he sees Jisung standing before him.

“Damn don’t look too sad to see me.” He jokes. Chenle shakes his head

“It’s not that…” Chenle explains, biting his lip nervously and subconsciously looks toward the bleakers where your empty seat was. Jisung gets the hint.

“Chenle,” he says. “It's okay, she’ll come.”

Chenle wants to ask him how he is so sure, that if he were you, he would hate himself too. Instead, he nods at him and readjusts the waistband of his shorts on his hips as the coach calls for the team to step out onto the court.

People immediately start cheering for the players as they come into the view, girls go crazy in the stands and the members’ friends and families cheere enthusiastically from the side lines. The players smile and wave at their ‘fans’ doing a lap around the court to warm up and high five audience members.

Chenle can only bring himself to smile half heartedly and wave weakly due to the fact that your spot on the bleachers still remains empty.

He sighs out again, puffing his cheeks as the referee finally calls for the first round. That’s when his adrenaline starts pumping and he feels a bit better.

The game goes on.

Chenle’s jersey is only a bit big on you, almost fitting like something that would be your size, still, you try to pull it down over your hips in a nervous habit. You finally made it to the game, having fun late due to traffic. The spot you usually sit in is occupied by a woman holding a baby, so you decide to stay and watch from the sidelines, standing.

The first time you see him, he is running across the court so fast he becomes a blur. You only know it’s him because of the head of blonde hair you see in the blurry image. He looks breathtaking as always, his hair being pushed away from his face by a sweat band being an addition to his look you wouldn’t mind seeing again.

His sneakers squeak against the floor as he gets in position to shoot. You cross your fingers, but something is off. His eyebrows are furrowed in something that doesn’t look like concentration, but more like worry. His legs give him the impulse to jump up and soon enough his arms are shooting the ball towards the basket. You watch in disappointment as it hits against the rim and bounces back at him, he catches it with a frustrated click of his teeth.

The audience has already begun whispering, having never seen the star player miss a shot.

One of his teammates comes up to give him a fist bump of comfort, Chenle accepts it but still holds a troubled look on his face. The thought crosses your mind that it might be because of you, it troubles the organ in your chest as much as it warms it. You notice he keeps glancing at a certain part of the bleachers, this is when you know he meant everything and that he surely is waiting for you.

“Chenle!” You yell, trying to get his attention.

The boy doesn’t look your way, your voice getting lost in constant shouts and chatter from the people in the crowd. You try again, louder this time. Nothing.

You groan frustratedly, the boy continues the game the best he can, but he’s out of it. You hate to see him like this, a deep hurt in your chest rising up. You cheer for him as loud as you can, deciding it would be better to wait until after the game to see him.

As the game is coming to an end, Chenle appears to grow more and more tired and absent. Nevertheless, his team scores the winning point and the audience goes wild, including you. Chenle smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

You can’t wait to hold him and tell him you forgive him for everything and that everything is going to be okay, and be with him for real this time. To have him be yours and be best friends against, go on nightly drives and have impromptu dance parties, to lay on his bed and count the plastic stars on his ceiling, to kiss him and be close to him.

And for it to be real.

🏀

Chenle can’t help but feel dejected when your seat was never taken by you. He should’ve known this would happen, that is true but there was a fraction of him that thought you would read his letter and realize how sincere he was, he thought there was a part of you that knew it had been real and there was no way everything he said could've been made up. But he was wrong, and now as he packs his gym bag to go home, he faces the consequences of his high hopes.

He’s mad, practically throwing his belongings in his bag, he almost throws his phone in the trash can next to him when he hears the ringtone go off. Chenle answers it with an irritated, “What?”

“Hey.” He recognizes your voice that same instant, still he pulls his phone back and makes sure its your caller ID before speaking again.

“Y/N? Oh my god, hi!” He clears his throat before repeating himself. “I mean, hi, hey.”

You hold back a laugh, noting his nervousness. “I’m sorry for calling so suddenly.” You decide to tease him, although, unbeknownst to him, you wear standing about 20 feet behind him after finally finding him in the now that the crowd of people has dispersed after the game.

“No, don’t worry about it. I was actually…” Chenle flicks the zipper of his bag with his nervous fingers, “I was waiting to hear from you.”

“Were you?”

“Yeah, I wanted a chance to talk things out with you and uhh… i'm sorry if me asking you to come out to the game was too much or if it made you uncomfortable I didn’t-“

“Chenle.” Your voice cuts his rant short. You internally marvel at the fact that you aren’t the one caught in a nervous ramble for once. “It didn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m here.”

“You’re here?” Someone clicks in his mind as he frantically looks around him in an effort to find you. When he does, his eyes turn soft and a smile takes over his face. “You came.”

You nod at him, feeling a bit overwhelmed when you finally make eye contact with him. There are people between you too, Chenle begins to close it as he walks forward. “I did. I just wanted to tell you that I missed you.”

“I missed you more, I swear on it.” He replies.

Your eyes burn, you wipe them and lighten the mood. “And that Curry would be sad to see you so out of it at a game.” You click your teeth jokingly. “What do you think he would say if he saw you like that cause of a girl?”

He laughs, “I think he would understand, after I tell him how amazing you are.”

You blush. “I also wanted to tell you that your jersey smells like you, and I like it.” This makes him beam, speeding up his footsteps that carry him to you.

“Is that it?” He asks, jokingly.

“And that I love you, Zhong Chenle. Not the Zhong Chenle that I had a crush on for 3 years and not Number 22 but you. The rawest versions of you. I love all of it and that i forgive you for everything.” He slows his pace in shock, his chest heaving.

“You mean that?” His voice is wavering and you can see the flush on his cheeks from how close he has gotten. Suddenly, he is taking big steps until he is directly in front of you. He puts his phone down and his pretty eyes look directly into your own.

Chenle’s face is hopeful, happy and lovestruck. He whispers: “You love me?”

You can only nod, overwhelmed. Chenle smiles wide, you can almost see his molars and his eyes disappear. “Say it.” He says, in a wondrous tone.

“I love you, Zhong Chenle.”

“Oh my god, yes!”

And he’s kissing you, arms wrapping around you and pressing your body against his, his finger grip at the jersey on your body and he moves his lips against yours. Every memory that you have ever shared, every kiss, every touch, and every laughing fit come to your mind. It’s all you can think about as you think about this boy. You don’t think about the bad part, because that doesn’t matter anymore now that Chenle is yours and you are never letting go.

4 months later; Graduation

“Chenle! Come on!” Jisung yells as he sees the boys floppy newly dyed orange hair amongst the crowd of people.

You were all posed for a picture, blue cap and gowns adorning your bodies and your parents huddle you together for a picture. “I’m coming!”

Your boyfriend appears from the crowd with his cap in his hand along with a giant bouquet of flowers. He walks directly to you, extending it with a smile. “For you.”

Your friends start squealing, playful hitting you and Chenle and your parents smirk at each other at the portrayal of young love before them. You cover your face with your hands to hide your blush. Chenle laughs and hugs you to his side.

“Y/N! Chenle! Pose for the picture!”

The two of you run to where your other friends are posing, haphazardly getting into the frame and posing crazily.

The air is full of laughter and youth as the sun begins to set on your time in high school. For a moment, you’re too busy basking in the presence of the relationships you have developed while in there that you forget you won’t be seeing these people every day like you had been for so many years. Or that your lives might take completely different courses and things won’t be the same after this. Instead you allow yourself to enjoy this moment.

🏀

You do think about it when you are on your way home though, in the passenger’s seat of Chenle’s car. His hand holds yours over the gear and he smiles to himself while humming along to the songs on the radio, unaware of the internal conflict going on in your head.

It wasn’t until he parks outside your house that he realizes that something is wrong.

“What is going to happen to us now?” Is your reply to his questioning. Chenle’s eyebrows furrow.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean-“ you collect your thoughts, “high school is over, and we’re going to go to college and we will be so busy and what if-“

“Whatever you think will happen, won’t happen.”

You look at him, offended that he could dismiss your worries so easily. “You don’t un-“

“I do understand. You’re worried that now that we won’t see each other every day that we’re going to drift apart, right? And that we won’t be together, am I right?”

You nod silently.

“Y/N, how many times am I going to tell you that I’m crazy in love with you? I won’t let you slip out of my hands, baby. Not again.” Chenle says firmly, sincerely. His eyes widen so you can see right through him and know he is telling the truth.

His pale hands come up to cup the sides of your face, making you face him. Your tear filled eyes meet his own. He brushes away your tear that rolls down your cheek. “I’m sorry, I was just overthinking.” You say.

“Don’t be sorry.” Chenle shakes his head, leaning forward to kiss your cheek lovingly, letting it linger for a few seconds before pulling back. Smiling upon seeing your smiling face.

It happens in a flash, now that the moment was right. Chenle gasps, starling you. “What?! What’s wrong?!”

“I love this song!” And he’s turning it up all the way on the car radio, rolling down the windows and stepping out. “Come on, Y/N!”

You don’t let him see the pure happiness on your face that you wanted to mask with annoyance. Chenle dances on the sidewalk crazily and you laugh in the passenger’s seat. You decide it was best to not let your boyfriend embarrass himself alone, wiping the excess of your tears and step out of the car. “M’lady has arrived to the dance party!” He exclaims.

And as you start dancing wildly together, the sun begins to set causing a golden hue to fall over your features. Anyone watching the scene could either think that you’re crazy or they will see what is really there: split aparts that have finally found one another.

Chenle thinks so too, he stops dancing for a bit to catch his breath and just watches you. He remembers the pain it took to make you his, how much you both cried and the beginning of the relationship was far from ideal. But there is no doubt in his mind that there are not enough glow in the dark ceiling stars in this world that will amount to the love he harbors for you in his chest. He was so happy that he had met his split apart, he couldn’t thank the universe enough.

This when he reaches forward and spins you around to face him. His chest against your own, you feel the rumble of his words from his chest when he says: “I’m so glad I found you.” And then he is kissing you, and the ground seems to melt away from your feet. You’re floating hundreds of feet in air and forget to take a view of your neighborhood from up here because Chenle is all you can think about. Because he makes you feel this way. You whisper in between kisses, he smiles knowingly, he feels it too.

“We.

Are.

Off.

Our.

Feet.”

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reneesi · 4 years

Text

i never would have thought // CH.03

WRITTEN PORTION

“How the hell did Hinata of all people sleep in?” Tanak roared, leaning forward to loom over (y/n) from the seat just behind. (Y/n) leaned her head back and peered up, offering only a shrug. Much to everyones dismay, the Hinata’s had arrived around 20 minutes late. Kageyama was especially pissed, chastising Shoyo nonstop since the team had boarded the charter bus. The crazy first year duo had sat in the very back, bickering at an uncharacteristically low voice. (Y/n) would definitely have to ask Shoyo about it later.

But because of said seating, (y/n) had ended up sitting next to Asahi with Tanak and Nishinoya in the seats right behind. In front of (y/n) Daichi and Sugawara were showing each other memes on Instagram, little giggles escaping Suga every so often.

“What in the hell did he stay up doing?” Tanaka yelled, reaching over to poke at (y/n)’s nose

“I don’t know Tanaka-Senpai!! I was too busy sleeping!” (Y/n) replied, pouting as she swatted away his hand

“Hey! No more nose poking! You’ve lost your nose booping privileges since being demoted to Hoe Number Two!” (Y/n) ducked her head down, bringing up her knees to press against her chest as she hid her face in between. Tanak sighed dramatically

“Guess I’ll just pass away now.” Tanka cried out, tone dripped in feigned anguish as he collapsed back into his seat with a thud. Nishinoya burst into short booming laughter, causing (y/n) to smile quietly to herself. Every day that passed (Y/n) was starting to feel more at home, developing inside jokes and stronger bonds with each of her new team mates. (Y/n) began to think of all the good that had happened once she had moved and relaxed back into her seat with a smile spread across her face. And as the bus droned on, the members of Karasuno settled into a comfortable silence.

(Y/n) was very grateful for her cousin, because if not for him she’d still be stuck in her miserable bubble back at home. And it wasn’t as though (y/n) hATED home, it was a quieter resentment. The kind that made Christmas tolerable but high school absolute hell. She knew that she’d have to return someday, but for the time being she was safe far far away and that alone made the weight of everything she’d suffered disappear. Although, what made (y/n) actually happy rather than just relieved was most definitely her new friends, and someday she’d repay Shoyo for the best gift she had ever received: Karasuno’s boys volleyball team.

Deep in thought (Y/n) turned back to peak at her cousin, instinctively, only to find him asleep on Kageyama’s shoulder. (Y/n) smiled softly, feeling a melancholic pang through her chest. She loved to see Shoyo happy by Kageyama’s side, but deep down she envied their friendship more than she’d ever admit. Shoyo had a best friend, even if it didn’t always appear that way to other. But (Y/n) knew the truth, she’d seen the pair sprawled out together on the couch, channel surfing on their days off. She’d seen them throw goldfish at each other, she’d even seen Kageyama’s soft side subsequent of he and her cousins incredibly close friendship. Something that she was, according to them, “legally” never allowed to talk about. But when Shoyo had gotten sick, she had seen Kageyama at his bedside. And (Y/n) wanted that more than anything in the whole wide world.

In an attempt to distract herself from such thoughts, (Y/n) pulled out her cellphone. Plugged in her headphones, she turned up the volume and let her lids fall to a close in hopes of drifting off to sleep and forgetting about her secret loneliness. She was only on the second song of her playlist when (Y/n) felt a gentle tap on her shoulders, her eyes fluttering open in response.

“What song are you listening to?” Asahi asked, shy smile spread across his lips. (Y/n) removed an earbud, eyes wide with embarrassment.

“Im so sorry! Was my music too loud?” She apologized, cheeks turning pink. Asahi brows furrowed, and his head tilted slightly.

“Only a little bit but it wasn’t bothering anyone,” His pointer finger motioned at her cellphone once more “So what song is that?”

(Y/n) double tapped her screen, lighting it up to display her lock screen. She turned it to show Asahi the songs title and artists.

“I thought I recognized it! I love that artists, though I didn’t know he’d released more music!” He chuckled, grin widening with each word. (Y/n) smiled back shyly.

“R..really? I didn’t know people knew about him, he’s sort of new.. right?”

“Yeah but his stuff is really good.” Asahi reached towards her phone, but stopped “do you mind if I take a look at your playlist?”

“No, not at all!” (Y/n) exclaimed, attempting to hid her nervousness. No one had ever liked her taste in music before, so she’d never really been inclined to share, but its not like she was gonna say no to Jesus himself. As he scrolled, his eyes lit up.

“I recognize a couple of these, this playlist looks awesome.” Asahi said in quiet enthusiasm, scrolling back up to the top.

“Thank you.” (Y/n) beamed

“What are you guys looking at?” Nishinoya cut in, leaning over Asahi with his hands now grasping onto the ace’s shoulders.

“It’s (y/n)’s playlist.” Asahi explained

“Woah!! This is yours?” Nishinoya snatched the cellphone from Asahi scrolling through it himself “(Y/N) this iS SO GOOD!” He burst out

“What is it?” Tanak interjected, standing up and leaning over to Nishinoya in an attempt to see the screen. Nishinoya adjusted to share.

“Woah (Y/N)!! I didn’t know you had such a good playlist!” Tanak exclaimed, excitedly shaking her by the shoulders.

“Hey! No shaking privileges remember!” (Y/n) giggled, gently brushing off his hands.

“What are you guys talking about?” Yamaguchi asked, leaning across the isle. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima had sat across the isle from (Y/n) and Asahi but Tsukishima had quickly put on his headphones and turned to face the window and Yamaguchi had fallen asleep despite the loudness of the earlier conversations, so neither had uttered a single word for the trip thus far.

“It’s my playlist.” (Y/n) turned her head to face Yamaguchi, visibly pleased “they like it!”

Yamaguchi lit up in delight

“I wanna see!” Yamaguchi said, reaching up towards Tanaka whom was currently holding onto (Y/n)’s phone. Tanak handed the phone over without complaint.

Yamaguchi, just as his team mates had, began to gush over (Y/n)’s playlist. This attracted the attention of the remaining team mates, sans Kageyama and Hinata whom were still asleep in the back and Tsukishima who’s headphones blocked out the commotion.

“(Y/n) you should play your music out loud, so everyone can enjoy it with you!” Yachi declared softly, handing back (Y/n)’s cellphone. (Y/n) looked around unsure.

“I mean my phone’s speaker isn’t that loud and I dont want to bother any-“

“I have a speaker!”Yamaguchi cut in, reaching into his bag

“And you won’t be bothering anyone,” Daichi added “I for one would like to hear these songs the everyone is raving so much about.” He finished with a chuck. Sugawara looked back at him lovingly, before agreeing aloud

“Me too!” He turned back to (Y/n), offering a reassuring smile

(Y/n) looked around, searching for some sort of disapproval but found only supportive encouragement across her teammate’s faces. A grin snuck its way across her lips.

“Alright!” She exclaimed, pulling up her bluetooth setting as Yamaguchi held out his speaker.

In the end the team went through the playlist 3 times before arriving at training camp, and during that time the bus was nothing but smiles. (Y/n) looked around in utter glee, as her team mates vibed out to the music, bopping their head along to the beat and sometimes even singing along. When Kageyama and Shoyo had woken up, they too joined the jam session and even came to sit further up with the rest of the team.

When the bus eventually began to pull into the lot, Nishinoya pumped a fist into the air.

“You gotta send me that playlist (y/n)!” He bellowed “now i’m all hyped up to train.”

As the bus came to a stop Nishinoya nearly jumped out of his seat. The rest followed suit, chatting excitedly as everyone began to gather their belongings. (Y/n) reached down and picked up her bag, still smiling. She was so glad everyone had had so much fun, and was practically on platonic cloud 9. (Y/n) reached over to hand Yamaguchi back his speaker, and out of the corner of her eye she could have sworn she saw the impossible. Tsukishima with his headphones off. Smiling.

Her cheeks grew warm, had he been listening with everyone? Did he like her music? But he hadn’t even complained! (Y/n) lowered her head quickly, snapping her gaze back to her lap in which her bag awaited. She hid her face, which was now darkened by hues of pink and red.

Had Tsukishima actually listened to her music, and had he liked it? Or was she just jumping to conclusions and imagining thing? (Y/n) was dying to know.

CH.03 II i didn’t know you had tAsTE??

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MASTERLIST

Tagslist: @domtamaki @kodzu-ken @clowninfortodoroki @kageyamasbabygorl

149 notes · View notes

nanasarea · 3 years

Text

🇨‌🇦‌🇧‌🇮‌🇳

❆Prompt: your friends asked you to stay with them in a cabin for a bit of a vacation and you obviously cant say no to them

❆Genre: fluff

❆Pairing: reader x best friend!nct (dream focus)

❆Word count: 2.6k (ok longest fic I see you)

❆a/n: this was so fun to write and now I'm crying I want this also I might make a summer edition once it gets hotter bc I have IDEAS now

ALSO NOT PROOFREAD

❆Tag list: @bumblebeenct @socketpunch

❆TW: toy gun (?), German, swearing (?) idk not much haha

“Get in, loser, we’re going out of our minds!” Donghyuck yelled from the bus.

You had agreed to spend the weekend with your friends at a cabin in the woods.

They all got some time off and wanted to spend some time throwing snow balls at each other and building snowmen, but they couldn't do that without you.

It was Friday, the day of departure. You had just gotten a text to come outside from Jeno a few minutes ago and there you were, staring at the big bus with 23 grown men, which would otherwise be terrifying, but since it was them, it seemed fun, and only a tiny bit terrifying.

“Haven't you already?” You yelled back as you walked towards the bus and saw Johnny step out of the bus to help you with your bags and before you could say that you got it, they were already put away on the bus.

“Thanks.” You smiled at him, your neck slightly hurting from the angle you had to put it in, in order to look at him.

“Don't mention it. Or do, if you must.” He said dramatically and gestured for you to get on the bus before him. You stepped into the bus and Johnny soon followed.

Immediately, you were greeted by Doyoung, who was sitting at the front with Taeyong, who asked you about how you were and if you slept well.

You quickly greeted back and told them you were great and that you couldn't sleep that well, because you were excited. Before you could ask them the same, YangYang yelled for you to come over to the back as Hyuck pulled you after him.

You tried to greet as many people as you could before getting to the back, where Yangyang sat with Renjun, Haechan and Hendery. Hyuck quickly sat down on the far left, right next to Renjun.

Next to Renjun was a free seat, and next to that one Yangyang, with Hendery at the far right. Renjun and Yangyang both patted at the seat and smiled at you, waiting for you to sit between them.

“I’m guessing my plan of a quiet ride was doomed from the start.” You dramatically sighed as you sat down between the two.

“That was never an option and you know it.” Hyuck laughed, causing all 5 of you to chuckle.

You spent a good 40 minutes talking to Yangyang and Hendery as Renjun and Hyuck debated about something next to you, before you made the first stop.

“About 10 minutes and then if you're not back on the bus, we shall leave without you, except for you, Jisung, we love you and would never leave you.” Johnny said before the group chuckled as Jisung got embarrassed.

You swear you could hear Chenle’s “of course we would, we have terrible memory.” and Jisung sighing before Renjun dragged you off the bus.

You got off the bus and were met with Jaemin, who looked like he was about to kill someone, and Jeno, who looked he was trying his best for Jaemin not to give in.

“Good morning.” You said “Whats so good about it?” Jaemin sighed, leaning against the bus and throwing his head back.

You looked over at Jeno and tried to contain your laugh, to which he only mouthed “No coffee yet”. You nodded, chuckling a bit before following Shotaro, Hendery and Kun, who went to go get coffee for everyone.

You barely got your own cup into your hands before you were pulled away from the three and into the store.

“Yn, come with me, I need it.” Hyuck said. “Need what?” You asked, following close behind.

He didn't comment, he just dragged you to the toy section and showed you the toy gun.

“You need a toy gun?” You asked “Yes.” He sassed “Its so pretty.” He explained “And it has fake bullets!” He added, excitedly.

“Very nice, Hyuck. Here’s a deal, I’ll buy you the extra bullets if you promise not to use the gun on me.” You said, knowing very well that you need to make a deal beforehand.

“Deal.” He smiled, shaking your hand.

Once you finished at the check out, you saw Jaemin pinching Jisung’s cheeks while Chenle and Jeno had their heads in their hands, they weren't surprised, but still a tad disappointed.

“How many coffees did I miss?” You asked, causing Jeno to chuckle before returning to his disappointment.

You stood outside of the bus for a while, talking to Chenle about his dog, well, him talking and showing you photos of Daegal while you listened and admired.

“Can I be her godparent?” You asked, placing a hand on his shoulder as Xiaojun’s head turned to you. “Godly parent?” He asked.

“God parent, but while we’re on the topic-” “DONT GET HIM STARTED, IM SITTING NEXT TO HIM AND I WANT TO SLEEP.” Kun cut you off.

“Haha, old man.” Lucas laughed before Kun looked at him and sighed. “I didn't sign up for this, I just wanted to sing.” He sighed. “You love us and you know it!” Yangyang teased.

After a minute, you returned back to your seat and watched as Hyuck put the bullets into the gun already.

You pulled out your phone and put in your headphones, before Renjun came up to you and took them away from you and put them in his pocket.

“Hey!” you protested. “Wait a bit.” He said, laughing and sitting next to you.

“Now, is everyone awake?” Johnny asked, standing up once again. “Yes!” The whole bus yelled.

“What?” he asked, placing his hand behind his ear. “Ay, Ay, captain!”

“I can't hear you!”

“Ay, ay, captain!”

“Ohhhh, who wants the aux first?”

A couple hands got raised, but Johnny sighed and said “If no one wants it, I guess ill be first.” and put on the first song, which was SHINee’s Lucifer, which made the whole bus jam out.

The songs kept going and your ears were in heaven, there were 23 professional singers singing some of your favourite songs, of course they were, but after a while, the atmosphere calmed down and you continued talking to Renjun.

You remember seeing most of WayV, Shotaro and Jungwoo playing a game, Taeyong play on his Nintendo while Doyoung watched and critiqued, Johnny and Taeil making Mark and Ten laugh every 3 seconds as Jaehyun and Yuta discussed something.

After some time, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle and Jisung changed seats so they were right in front of you, which resulted in you playing some games.

An hour later, you got to your destination. You watched as Jaehyun, Jeno, Lucas, Jaemin and Johnny bring the bags and the suitcases from the bus as Kun, Taeyong and Doyoung went to go get the keys while you and the others stood before your cabins.

Once the suitcases were out and distributed, you waited for the keys. Most of Wayv and Shotaro was standing on the porch and discussing something, half of 127 was cuddled up while the other half took photos, alongside Sungchan.

You and the dreamies and Yangyang however, were playing with the snow. Hyuck pulled out his fake gun and jokingly started pointing it at the others. He jokingly shot us, one by one and we all played along, expect for Chenle, because he couldn't bother to move.

First, it was Jaemin, then Yangyang, Jeno, you, Jisung and at the end, Renjun, who just so happen to be near a hill so you all watched in shock as he rolled down it, getting covered in snow as Jeno and Jaemin went to go get him.

Taeyong walked over to you guys to give you the keys before he saw Renjun, who resembled a snowman and Jeno and Jaemin helping said snowman.

“Renjun, you okay?” He asked as Chenle, Hyuck and Yangyang laughed their asses off. Renjun just showed a thumbs up as they made their way up the hill again.

You thanked Taeyong for the keys as he and Hyuck made their way to the 127′s cabin and Yangyang to WayV’s.

You walked to the cabin and went in, leaving your bags at the door. Jeno started the fire in the fireplace as Jisung and Chenle browsed the cabin while you and Jaemin asked Renjun if he wants cuddles to warm him up.

“Normally, I would say no, but I'm really cold, so I shall allow it.” he said before you and Jaemin looked at each other and cuddled the melted snowman.

After cuddling for a bit, Jeno suggested deciding roommates, so once Chenle and Jisung got back, they reported on the rooms and you used a random pair up generator, since none of you had any preference.

Jeno and Chenle got the ground floor room, which was closest to the kitchen. Jaemin and Jisung got the room one level up, which had the best bathroom and you and Renjun got the top floor room, which had the best view.

“You guys hungry?” Chenle asked, to which everyone nodded. “I’ll call Doyoung and ask if they know what they're going to eat.” Jeno said, picking up his phone.

“I’ll take the bags to our room.” Jaemin said, taking his and Jisung’s stuff and walking up the stairs.

“I’ll do the same.” Renjun said as Chenle and Jeno looked at each other before Chenle sighed. “I guess I shall too.”

Now, you and Jisung were watching Jeno as he called Doyoung. Apparently, there was a take out place not so far away, which did deliveries so they decided on that.

Once the others got back, you told them and you made your way to the biggest cabin, which was 127′s. The others also came to the cabin and half an hour of everyone on their phone, the food had arrived.

Taeyong suggested they used his new projector to watch something, so you did. You all gathered on the big couch and floor as the movie started playing on the wall while you ate.

Two movies later, Kun suggested going outside to make snowmen, while Yangyang suggested a snow ball fight, so you did both.

You started building the snowmen with Taeil and Winwin, but once you felt a snow ball hit your back, you said fuck it and joined the fight.

You got a few throws in before you all got really cold and went back inside for some hot chocolate.

Xiaojun, Kun, Taeyong, Doyoung, Jaemin and Jeno went to the nearby store to buy what you needed for breakfast while the others stayed in the big cabin and played a few games before Renjun got mad at Jisung’s team beating him.

“Jisung, meet me on the rooftop.” Renjun commented, making everyone laugh.

You ended up talking to Chenle about something, but you forgot the Korean word for it, and the English word for it, you could only remember the word in German, only because you remember Yangyang teaching it to you a while back.

“Yangyang!” You yelled, grabbing Chenle’s hand and walked over to Yangyang. “Yes?” He asked.

“How do you say schwert in Korean?” You asked. “You mean sword?” Yangyang asked, which made you mentally slap yourself for not remembering.

“What about in Korean?” Chenle asked, causing silence from the both of you until you both yelled “Mark!” and so, you, Chenle and Yangyang walked over to him.

“Yes?” He asked. “How do you say sword in Korean?” Yangyang asked, to which Mark just stared at all of you.

“Johnny!” Mark yelled as so, you, Chenle, Yangyang and Mark now walked towards Johnny asked him the same question.

“Yeah?” He asked, turning around to face you all. “How do you say sword in Korean?” Mark asked.

Johnny just looked at you all before pulling out his phone and googling google translate. “검 (Geom).” he said, showing you the translation.

“We’re idiots, aren't we?” You asked. “Yup.” “Totally.” “The dumbest.”

“Wait, how do you say it in Chinese...” Chenle wondered before yelling “Renjun!”

It was getting late, so you said your goodbyes to the others and went back to your cabins, where Jaemin insisted on making you all dinner, so while he made dinner, you sat down on the couch and turned the tv on and searched fort the new buzzed unsolved episode on the YouTube section.

“You started it without me?” Renjun asked, sitting right next to you. “I was searching.” You defended as Chenle sat down on the floor and waited for you to hit play.

As Jeno helped Jaemin, the rest of you watched the episode, you and Renjun on the couch, his legs lightly tossed over your lap as he leaned against the arm of the couch while Chenle sat right below you on the floor and Jisung next to him.

“Dumbass.” Renjun commented. “You would do the same.” You said, laughing. “I would not!” he yelled. “You would.” Chenle and Jisung said in unison, making Renjun huff and continue watching in silence as you pet his head, jokingly.

By the end of the episode, Renjun had turned so that his head was in your lap and his legs were on the arm of the chair as you played his hair and Chenle and Jisung were lazily spread out on the floor.

“Kids, dinner’s ready!” Jeno yelled, causing the two on the floor to groan and slowly get up. “You heard your dad, go.” you teased the two as Renjun got up and held his hand up to help you up.

You got to the kitchen and sat down, eating the food that Jaemin and Jeno prepared in silence.

On the ground floor, Jeno and Chenle tossed and turned, not being able to find a good position until Jeno said fuck it and got up.

“Jaemin is probably cuddling with Jisung so they have a spare bed, so....se ya!” he said, holding up a peace sign before walking out the door.

Once he got there, he opened the door to see Jaemin with all of his limbs wrapped around Jisung and thanked god before walking to the other bed and fell asleep.

Back on the ground floor, Chenle tried to sleep again but couldn't, so he said to himself “If Yn and Renjun are sleeping right now, I swear to god.” before getting up and walking to your room.

He opened the door, and there you were, lying on the floor as a Taylor Swift song played. “What ya doing?” he asked.

“We’re talking about alien li-” “Nerds.” Chenle cut Renjun off before entering the room and lying next to you.

“So, what exactly were you saying?” Chenle asked, turning his head to face you.

“How aliens could be monitoring us right now.” You said, turning your head to face him.

“But why? You two are so boring, what's there to see?” He said, making Renjun get up and tell you to hold him back, which you did.

“You're just mad at the truth!” Chenle yelled, propping himself up as he laughed.

Renjun started laughing too, and so did you, which ended up with all of you back on the floor, laughing, before one of you changed the subject back onto alien life and next thing you know, Jeno was at your door to tell you that its time for breakfast.

Once you finished breakfast, you ended up taking your sketchbook out, and so did Renjun. You spent the whole morning and a bit of the afternoon drawing and doodling with Renjun as Chenle and Jeno played games while Jaemin and Jisung were on their phones.

You looked up from your paper and saw them all having fun and relaxed in your chair.

“There truly is no place like home.”

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stay-tinystars · 4 years

Text

Bus stop

Ship: Felix x reader

Warnings: mentions of stupid cold weather and blood.

Fluff

Drabble

Word count: 1,013

-------------------------------------------

"Someday I'll move someplace warm" you grumbled as you stood shivering at the bus stop in your over sized winter coat.

Of course winter looked pretty, the snow covering everything in white. The beautiful Christmas lights hung everywhere. Everything else about it sucked. The cold biting at every part of you, the wicked wind that blew through even the heaviest of coats.

You couldn't ride your bike to work, and since your car had given up the ghost during the summer, the bus was your best option.

You looked at your watch, the bus was ten minutes late. You sighed, and contemplated walking the two miles home in the slush like snow. You looked at the sky which was grey, like everything else seemed right now.

"Bus still not here?" A cheery voice said. You just shook your head. "Oh good I was worried, being as I was late."

Felix, the deep voiced Sunshine. He always seemed to be happy, every time you looked at him he smiled at you. He seemed so happy about the weather, while you just wished to be home, or someplace warm.

"Are you ok today?" Felix asked.

"How are you so happy, when its so cold?" you mumbled, as you held your coat tighter around you.

"Well im always happy to see my friends" he smiled, his dazzling smile, as grumpy as you where a small smile appeared on your lips. "Want to listen to some music while we wait?" He asked offering you an ear bud.

"Sure"

The song that started playing, a familiar tune, one you'd heard Felix humming on the bus previously. You started swaying, and humming along to the song. When Felix started singing along.

"Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?

All that shame and all that danger

I'm hopin' that my love will keep you up tonight

Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?

All that fear and all that pressure

I'm hopin' that my love will keep you up tonight"

You just stared at him, your jaw seeming to hit the sidewalk.

"Felix I didn't know you could sing" you stammered. He laughed.

"Yeah I've always enjoyed singing. I just don't on the bus." His cheeks flushed a deeper red than before. He then looked down the street and sighed. "I don't know if the bus is coming. Mind if we walk together for a while, since your stop is one before mine?" He inquired.

"That would be nice" you said nodding.

The music kept playing softly in the air pod as you strolled. One good thing came out of the rainy season which lead into this winter, you had gotten to know Felix, as your rode the bus together after you both got off work. And even though the cold was freezing your toes, at least you had company.

"Look, its starting to snow" Felix softly said in awe. You looked up from the ground and saw soft white flakes starting to fall. As you looked at Felix he just looked content, a small smile on his lips, his eyes bright, and his freckles seemed to dance with the music playing through the ear buds.

"Its pretty when it snows" you said admiring the way the snow was starting to look like glitter falling from the sky.

"And here I was thinking you hated winter" Felix said as he gently bumped you with his arm.

"Well I hate the cold" you replied. "But the snow is pretty. It makes everything sparkle" you smiled at him. His eyes sparkled more than the snow.

Thats when your foot caught some ice, falling forward at an alarming pace your hands getting stuck in the pockets you had buried them in. Your left knee making impact on the ground, as Felix caught you just before your face hit the ground.

"Oh my gosh Y/N are you ok?" He asked helping you back to your feet. You hugged him.

"Oh my gosh" was all you could mutter. You pulled away and looked down at your now ripped jeans and sighed.

"Your knee!" He almost yelled.

"I'll be ok, im sure its just a scratch" you said leaning against a building and bending over to get a better look, sure enough it was bleeding.

"Y/n your bleeding" Felix said crouching down to also look at your knee.

"I'll be ok. I'll just take care of it when I get home" you said as you straightened back up.

"Here ill carry you, your stop isn't much further" Felix said holding his arms out. You shook your head.

"No, I'll walk I'll be fine" you said taking a few steps and doing your best not to wince as your knee bent, rubbing your wound against the fraying material of your jeans.

"Y/N" Felix shook his head. "I'm not gonna let you walk in pain back to your place."

"No, see im fine" you put on the biggest fake smile you could and started to hobble away.

Felix gave a dry laugh, as he shook his head at your stubbornness. You stopped after a moment balancing on your right leg and looking back at him.

"At least lean on me and use me as a crutch til we get you home" he suggested as he approached you. You obliged.

The snow started falling down heavier as you crossed the street to the block your apartment was on. "The next building is mine, 2210" you gestured towards it.

"That means we are practically neighbors" Felix smiled.

"What do you mean?" You asked.

"I live in building 2240" he laughed. "You know that the bus stop after the one you currently get off at drops you a lot closer" he smiled.

"Oh" you murmured, slightly embarrassed.

"Here let's get you inside and get your knee taken care of" he said bringing you to the door of your building.

Once you got your keys out of your bag, and you got up to your third floor apartment, he helped you inside.

Maybe winter wasn't so bad when you had an attractive friend like Felix to help you out.

#drabble #stray kids fluff #stray kids fan fiction #skz fluff #skz felix #felix x reader #felix fluff #stray kids drabbles #felix drabbles #felix freckles

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elysicndrcvm · 3 years

Text

━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )

well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado:

so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.

he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals.

he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age.

he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue.

his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes.

obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf.

showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places.

very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd.

awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world.

his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers.

studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up.

despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf.

real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf.

has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself.

he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade.

does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out.

cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away.

bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that.

#dallyeog:intro #i'm literally in love with him he's the softest most goodest boi muse i have ever made and i just #im that meme of the samari sword guy with the cat in his arms akfkfk #IVE ONLY HAD EUNHA FOR TWO DAYS BUT IF ANYONE HURTS HIM I WILL KILL THEM AND THEN MYSELF AKKDK

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jem-2096 · 4 years

Text

Brunette from Mars - (Peter Parker One shot)

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of fighting/abuse, FLUFFY AF!

(This could be read as ftm!peterparker and/or regular MCU Peter Parker)

This one shot is inspired by the song mars by Yungblud. Go give it a listen if you haven't!

You and the brunette haired boy with deep honey coloured irises quickly became good friends. You commuted to school each morning together after learning you lived in the same apartment in Queens while your first day of highschool in homeroom. You were paired for some lame icebreakers to get to know other students. He had nervously blabbed to you about how he had moved apartments with his aunt over the summer and as you got to know him better over time, he let you know the reason why they moved.

You quickly learned that the brunette was a great listener, quick witted, fairly thoughtful, determined with his studies, had a passion for tinkering with programming and computer tech and secretly kept a picture of Daisy Ridley as Rey from Star Wars in his desk that you won't let him live down.

Two summers ago, the brunette had quite the glow up that to be honest made your stomach do flips. After returning from a trip to Detroit with his Aunt May to visit family, the brunette came back to school with his braces off and a nice build to him compared to the lanky string bean he was when he had left in that June.

With this overnight glow up also came this new habit of him flaking on you and really everyone without reasonable explanations. He would come to school with bruised knuckles, scratches on his face, and more often than not bags under his eyes. Although he seemed exhausted, his smile and upbeat self usually didn't seem to waver. His eyes did however seem to say otherwise whenever his honey brown irises met yours.

Unless he flaked on an important commitment, you didn't display emotions or words for his lack of presence. His world didn't revolve around you and you accepted that. You reminded yourself to try not to hold him back from what he loved because you were a good friend and wanted what was best for him, even if it was draining him.

"I'm free to study for algebra after dinner tonight." You stated to the brunette, looking past him out the city bus window as the buildings, and trees whirled past you. You weren't looking for an answer at this point, just giving him an open invitation to come over if he had nothing better to do on his Thursday night. You saw him nod out of the corner of your eye as he leaned his head against the pole you both were holding onto and closed his eyes. The bus was quiet this morning as you watched the orange sunrise dance over the brunette's features and could hear the beat of whatever song he was listening to through his headphones.

A GPS like voice came over the bus intercom as you turned the corner. "Grand Central Parkway at 65th Avenue". You pulled the chord on the side of the bus for the bus driver to stop and gently shook the brunette's shoulder. As you saw his honey coloured eyes once again, you nodded in the direction of the door for you to both get off.

You were early to school today seeing as you made the transfer bus in time for the first time in forever. Walking through the dewy grass on the field together, you pointed at an open picnic table near the tennis courts.

Setting your backpack down, you opened it grabbing out two granola bars and an apple. The brunette slumped down beside you to face away from the sun. As he set his coffee on the table, his head immediayley went into his folded arms. You placed one of the granola bars infront of him, and sat facing the courts. Stretched your legs out and crossing your ankles, you flipped through one of your novels, quickly finishing up your AP lit reading before class.

"Thanks." You heard him pipe up in a monotone voice as he shoved the granola bar in his pocket. You nodded, nose still in your novel. He knew by now that he didn't have to put on an act around you. "We gotta go in, in 20. I'll wake you in 15, kay?"

He nodded as his head was back in his arms, facing away from you. You heard him let out an audible sigh as you finished up the last of your notes.

"Pete?" You ask hesitantly, resting your hand on his shoulder. He didn't respond. "You know, you can tell me anything right? I won't push you. The offer still stands. No judgement. Alright?" You say quietly, softly rubbing your hand down his jacket clad back and let it drop off to collect your things and pack up your bag.

The alarm you set on your phone goes off as you see him prop his head up and wipe his eyes on his sleeve out of the corner of your eye.

'Oh Peter. Sometimes, as close as we are, I wish it didn't feel as though there was a cement wall between us.' You thought to yourself as you scrolled through your phone. As you both stood to walk up to the school, to your surprise, as cold and distant as he had been recently, he pulled you into his side. You wrapped your arms around his torso giving him a quick hug.

After taking attendance in home room and catching up with MJ about her latest find in the school library, you were dismissed to your first period class. "Leave your window open at 6." You heard the brunette pipe up at your lockers. "Always." You nodded, giving him a small smile before parting ways to your classes.

You quickly glanced at your alarm clock on your desk reading 8:30 pm. Quickly realizing you were running out of graph paper in your notebook as you flipped to a fresh page, you scribbled down the next practice question. Your headphones blasted one of your new favourite songs as you disconnected them from the bluetooth on your phone to play out loud. "Do you feel like your irrelevant, do you feel like your just scared as fuck.." You quietly sang along, writing a note to get more graph paper in the near future, as you heard a thud from the window beside you.

Swiveling in your chair, you look up to see the silhouette of the brunette. As he steps into the light of your desk lamp and sits on your bed you can see his eyes are red and his knuckles are beginning to bruise again. He kicks off his sneakers as you hesitantly stand from your chair to go and to sit beside him.

He immediately buries his face in his hands as he quietly cries. You try your best to not show the hurt on your face from seeing him like this as you gently rub his back. You go to sit behind him up against the wall. You bring your hands around his waist gently holding him, letting your legs dangle on either side of him and rest your head on his shoulder.

When you no longer hear uneven breathing, you sit back up and one hand goes to the hair on the nape of his neck, softly playing with his locks, while the other gently rubs circles on his back.

"I'm sorry." You hear him sigh out. "Im so fucking sorry." He pleads as he begins to cry again. "I'm here. Just breathe Pete." You say calmly as you wrap your legs around his waist and hug him tighter. You take deep breaths for him to mimic to try and calm him back down.

"I keep fucking up Y/n/n, and I don't know what to do anymore." He painfully lets out. You take in his words and quickly think of an appropriate response. "Everyone I try to become close with has ended up hurt or passed away, I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and have to fill his shoes. No matter what decisions I make I still always end up letting someone down. I'm just so fucking tired Y/n." Although his words are a jumbled mess to you, you nod. You let go of the tense brunette and sit beside him. "Take your shirt off and go lie on your stomach." You say to him as he looks at you somewhat confused but does as he's told and props his head up on his folded arms.

You can see the faded scars and healed wounds on his arms, shoulders and back, wondering who gave these to him. As you sit straddling his waist, your hands go to his shoulders and back massaging his tense and knotted muscles. He lets out a big sigh of relief after realizing what's going on. He softly mewls as you gently work the knots out. Once all the tension in his back and shoulders is gone, you lay close beside the half awake brunette.

"Thank you." He states sincerely, as he rolls to face you. You know that his words of gratitude are for more than just the back massage. You nod, reaching your hand up to run your hands softly through his locks to relax him further as his eyes flutter shut at your touch. "We're all only capable of so much Pete. Please, don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. It's a hard pill to swallow but its impossible to win every battle and win everyone over. I know it's easier said than done, and it'll take some time to figure everything out, but I'll be here every step of the way though alright?" You whisper softly, and reach for his hand giving it a squeeze as he nods. "I'll let you get some rest." You sigh out, sitting up, bringing the blanket at the end of the bed over his larger frame and bend down giving a kiss to his temple. "Goodnight love." You whisper.

After another hour and a half of battling through algebra questions, you quietly change into some sweats and open up your netflix account to get your mind off your math problems and your worries of Peter. Picking up your laptop, your half empty waterbottle falls to the floor with a thud. Your gaze darts over to your bed to see the naturally curly headed brunette sound asleep. Your heart flutters as you catch him pull the covers up to his chin and nuzzle his nose into the pillow and blankets while he curls his legs up into the fetal position. You sit on the floor beside your bed as the light from the movie on netflix illuminates your bedroom. You have the subtitles on and the movie on the lowest volume as you rest your back against the bed frame.

After a few minutes you begin to hear the brunette stir and roll over to face the movie. "Is this that BoxTrolls movie?" You hear him croak out in a deep voice that makes your heart flutter. "No, this one's Paranorman. It's in my top 5." You respond, your gaze still on the screen. You feel his fingers playing with the ends of your hair softly, trying his best not to disturb you even though you've seen this movie more times than you can remember.

He pushes all of your hair over to one of your shoulders and rests his chin on the opposite one. "You know, you don't have to sit on the floor right? I don't bite Y/n." He states sleepily in your ear. You quickly catch your breath at how close he is as you comprehend the words coming out of his mouth and nod standing. You place your laptop on your desk chair and wheel it over in front of the bed. Looking over to the brunette laying confortably in your bed, he holds the blanket open for you to get in. "One sec." You say as you take off your hoodie, revealing your white tank top underneath that clung to the hills and slopes of your natural curves. You had ditched your bra long before the Brunette had arrived, remembering that it's laying in the clothes hamper and not on your body. You looked back down to see the brunette's arm still holding the blanket open, his honey eyes on you. They slowly wandered down your silhouette to see the loose sweatpants hung low on your hips and back up to meet your gaze. The dark room concealed the deep blush you felt on your cheeks from his gaze. 'Too late now..' you thought as you climbed under the blanket. Your back rested up against Peter's larger frame. His arm snaked around your waist, pulling you closer to him. "Is this okay y/n/n?" The brunette questioned. You nodded, trying your best to calm your breathing as you felt his warm, gentle touch on your skin. You hoped and prayed he couldn't hear your heartbeat pounding in your chest. 'I feel so safe and at home in his arms but the last thing he needs right now is a girlfriend. And why would he want to be with me anyways. We're just friends and he probably just needs physical affection from someone right now.' You thought to yourself.

You let out a soft sigh at your thoughts. "You okay sweetheart?" He asks softly, as you feel his warm lips peck the back of your exposed neck. Your face is on fire at this point. 'He's just tired Y/n. Calm down. Dont say anthing stupid' "Yeah, I just feel safe in your arms." You murmur loud enough for him to hear. 'Idiot. You ruined it. Shit shit shit.'

It became deathly quiet between you two. You could hear his breathing, the rain hitting your bedroom window, the cars driving on the street below, your upstairs neighbour walking around their apartment and the dull volume of the movie playing from your laptop.

"Y/n/n?" You heard him whisper.

You rolled over to face him, burying your face in his chest, breathing in his warm cologne and body wash as you wrapped your arm around his waist and tangled your legs in his. Although you didn't have all the answers you were looking for, this the closest you two had been in over a year and you were happy that he was finally starting to let down his walls.

He stroked your hair, planting a kiss on the crown of your head. "Goodnight love." He mumbled before all the sounds around you in the silence of your bedroom coaxed you to sleep.

You had woken up to your alarm at 6:30am to find the spot beside you empty.

The brunette swore that was the best sleep he had had in months he thought, reminiscing as he climbed down the fire escape after quickly showering and getting ready to meet you before catching the bus. You heard a knock on your window before he slid it open and sat on the sil. He fiddled with tge metro card in his hands as a small smile crept onto his face watching you concentrating on finishing your eyeliner and mascara. You take a step back to look in the mirror to see if your wings are symmetrical, seeing the brunette looking at you with a sheepish grin in the reflection. He looked well rested for once, his eyes kind and soft, glancing at you in adoration. Your heart beats out of your chest as you spin around to look at him.

"One sec." You say quickly rushing out to the kitchen to grab some food before packing up your bag. Pulling on your coat and beanie, as you walk towards the window sill the brunette is lounging on.

"Before we go, I uhm... forgot to tell you something.. last night." He says looking down at his hands as you reach out gently hold his larger ones. "Y/n.. I uhm-" he looks up at you, scanning your features, trying his best to read your emotions. You see him glance down quickly at your soft lips. 'I can't take this. Screw always being a good friend.' You thought as you leaned in, placing a hand on his cheek and a soft kiss to his lips. Your thumb stroked his cheek as he leaned back in for another. Your forehead rested against his. "Was that what you wanted to tell me?" You asked in a hushed tone, looking down at his lips again. He nodded before giving them another peck. "Uhm.. we better go before we-" "oh.. yeah, your right. Shit!" You say, quickly checking the time on your phone.

As you dashed down the fire escape and towards the bus stop, his hand never left yours as you jogged behind him giggling at his antics of repeating "Shit" as he saw the bus waiting for you at your stop as you both jogged towards it. You couldn't see it but for the first time in a while, a genuine smile adorned the brunette's face and through whatever he was battling with, knowing you were by his side, there would be plenty more to come.

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notatallinterestingstuff · 3 years

Text

With Love, She.

Clang! Blaam! Boom! The echoing sounds of the utensils falling down startled her from her trance. ‘Ughhhh, he’s going to be furious again!’, she thought to herself, picking up the plates in a hurry. It was not the best of days for her. Lunch was not yet ready; the maid has not yet come and Nirav has once again spilled rice on the floor. Arun was about to come home and he would not be pleased with this work. And yet another load on her growing and immeasurable life. She cursed her father under her breath and began trotting the 3-way road again. ‘Hey, you! I am working so hard to maintain the house and you keep a petty fight for some rice? Today, it ends! You are going to clean up the mess!’, she exclaimed with suppressed anger. But then Nirav looked back at her, gave her a mischievous grin and ran out of the house in a flurry. ‘One day, that boy is going to get it from me. But what can I do? My heart doesn’t allow it.”, she told to herself. Exhausted, she returned to her usual chores with a half-hearted attitude. Cleaning the house, doing the dishes, is that my life? Don’t I have dreams? Shouldn’t I too reach failure and then work hard to rise? As she fell into the ever-growing abyss of her thoughts, her mind reached out and grabbed a memory. ‘Daddy, when will we go to the museum?’, the little girl cried at the top of her voice. Her father, in an ever-calming voice replied,’ Don’t you worry child! As long as this elephant is with you, he will ride you to the museum, with free lollipops!”, The girl was now laughing and calm with the help of the tickles from her daddy. On the rickshaw, she asked her father, “Daddy, yesterday I heard the 5th class girls cry about life in the corridor instead of studying. Humph, what cry-babies!”. The father burst out into laughter, responding with a question,” What do you thing life is sweetie?”. “Life is when Ms. Rose doesn’t give us homework and gives us ice-cream!”, she exclaimed in an innocent voice.” But what is life daddy?”, she repeated herself, her innocent and childlike mind wanting to know everything and being restless. Her father, now in a graver voice, replied,” Look at those puppies running frantically behind their mother with utmost love and hope that she will feed them. She does feed them, but without herself eating, knowing that her children come first, even more than her life. That’s life. It is the cruelest thing in the world, but when accompanied with a certain something it makes your life meaningful.’ “Ice cream?”, she answered the question diligently. “Haha-ha! No, my precious darling! Its love!”, he told her. “And remember, no matter what life gives you, remember that love always makes it what it is, and you get to decide what’s life and what’s love”. “Then I love love so much!”, she proclaimed to everyone. She continued to lick her lollipop joyously, unbeknownst to her what life was going to make her do. TTRRRRRRIINNNGGGG! The loud ringing of the doorbell startled her, causing her to cut her own finger a little on the skin. She grimaced in pain as she ran to answer the door. “Hey, sweetheart! Today was so stressful and boring! Could I get a cup of water please? And why is rice lying on the floor? Has Ritesh done this? How can he so irresponsible? Why have you not controlled him yet?”, came in the questions as Arun stormed inside the house from work. “I’ll take care of it, I’m sorry, had a lot of work today.”, she replied trying to stop the bleeding simultaneously. “Did you just cut yourself? How can you be so careless, huh? Sometimes I feel like life is so cruel, always doing this to me!”, Arun castigated her. All she could do was give back a fake smile as Arun brought the bandages. She felt a little comfort even though the wound was stinging a lot. “Let me go buy today’s dinner from outside, you take some rest.”, Arun convinced her. As soon as Arun was gone, she was back to cleaning the dishes, wiping an invisible tear off her eye. Damn you, dad! Why did you have to leave me so early? If it wasn’t for that rickshaw accident that

day, you would have been still here, with me, not lying in a hospital bed for 20 long years, she cursed under her breath. She turned off the tap, wound still stinging, and proceeded to clean the mess on the floor. She knew her life wouldn’t be same after that accident, the sounds of the crash still ringing in her ear, even after 20 long years. She had dreamt to be an IAS officer, make a difference to her nation, but that obstacle set her back at least by a lifetime. Her mother, influenced by relatives and peer pressure, got her married off to Arun Apparkumari, a GM at an MNC. He is a good man, but sometimes doesn’t feel the way that she feels. And, 2 children later, here she is, a grown independent woman by society, but a shattered yet dreaming little girl by heart. She did what she only could do about her miserable life, weep, sometimes for long times alone, as she kept on her apparent duty of daily chores. Just a few footsteps away, a door closed, listening to the unheard sorrows. The next day early morning, she boarded the bus to meet her in-laws, for whom she was the only caretaker. As she took a seat near the window, a wave of fresh air flew through her face. This was the only part she liked about the bus ride. She could see the everchanging world in its glow, nature and man working together to create a sustainable and luxurious life. Cars swept past the bus, metros riding over, people in a hurry to do something important, most importantly women rushing to work, trying to bring about a change in the society. Her thoughts were interrupted by a girl, dressed up fashionista style, on a motorbike and smoking a cigarette speeding through the roads, hurling obscenities at other drivers. That brought back a fond memory from her twenties. It was nostalgic time again. ‘Hey Sathya! Come fast! If Mom finds out about this, they’ll throw me out of the house for sure!”, she shouted in excitement as her friend Sathya came running towards her. “Its fine da! Anyways it’s our last day meeting. Who knows what will happen after you get married and sent off? Start cleaning vessels now itself! You will have practice!”, she laughed hysterically looking at a sulking face. “Come on fast! We have no time to lose!”, she shouted as they both started on a rental bike. As the wind rushed through her face, and her skin feeling the true touch of mother nature, she rode the bike as far as the road took her. It was the happiest she had been in a while. Since her father’s accident, her whole house was in chaos as her gullible mother ignored her pleas and, with the advice of the so-called relatives, fixed her marriage. The only way to spend all her pent-up anger was today. She wouldn’t do anything to miss today’s thrill. That day lived up to its name. Playing with Sathya on the beach, teasing and laughing about the men following them, fun with the waves and finally icecream on the rocks witnessing the grandest and splendor sunset. “What is life da?”, she asked her friend, repeating the question for as long as she had known Sathya relishing her ice-cream. “According to me, it would be travelling the world with my love and enjoy doing what I do. What about you? What’s your thoughts?”, Sathya replied relishing her ice-cream too, not knowing the ripples it caused. She began to wonder about her life after marriage. She was in a deep abyss now, with no way out or no one to help her. When will I get this feeling again? What will happen to me? What about my dreams? “Hello, snap out of it! You’ve gone and dropped the ice cream, now you’ve made me go crazy!”, Sathya said sarcastically. But she ignored that and asked her, “But why only roaming around the world? Why not follow your dreams and pursue your passions? Isn’t that supposed to make you happy? Sathya with a calm mind answered her question,” My dear friend. You have confused yourself with life. Life is not always cruel. When I meant the world trip, I was not going to obviously enjoy the trip. It was the person I love that I’m going to enjoy with. That’s what makes

us all happy. Life doesn’t give us obstacles; it gives us the stairs. Now whether you run on it or trod is your choice.” That sentence was stuck in my mind for a long time. “Madam! Please wake up, the stop has arrived”, said the bus conductor carrying out his duty. Back to the stairs once again, she thought as she got off the bus. Back at home, Arun was waiting. To make a difference. She reached home early. In spite of all the things that she did for her in-laws, they never quite respected her and treated her the way she should. But, she did it for her satisfaction, the way her father told her. Anyways she got to eat some ice-cream on her own! As she opened the door, out came a deafening yell. “SURPRISE!!!!”, screamed Arun, Nirav and Ritesh at the top of their voices. “Happy life celebration day, you idiot!”, Arun screamed sarcastically. “What took you so long? Do you know how much time Nirav spent baking that cake? Even with his girlfriend he doesn’t talk this much time with!”, he joked. “DAAAAAD! IM JUST 11!”, Nirav screamed blushing, a pink color slowly rising on his cheeks. “What’s all this going on?”, she asked with genuine astonishment. “I’ll tell you later, but first have this ice-cream cake. And that too your favorite! Pan masala flavor!”, Arun exclaimed. “Papa, I was busy writing the card. That’s why I gave him the wrong flavor. Don tease me!”, Ritesh shouted feeling guilty. And then, that day, she had a blast. Singing songs, going through old photos, charades with the family and a surprise visit from mom. It was the happiest she had been in days. She wiped out the pains of the last few weeks and embraced the day with full hands. “So now that the kids have gone to sleep, tell what does this life celebration day means, Mr. Party planner?” she asked Arun as they sat near the balcony. “Before I say that, I want to say thanks!”, he replied. “For what?”. “For everything. For the days you had to go to raise those 2 kids to keeping up with my atrocities and my mood swings, taking care of the relatives, and for facing everything that life gave you. It’s going to change from now”, he replied staring at the night sky. “I still don’t get it. What are you trying to thank me for now? It’s not even my birthday!”, she replied still in shock. “It’s even more special! Its Mother’s Day. See, when life doesn’t exactly give what you want, it is up to us to make sure that we squeeze the best out of it. And mothers always do it. They have to. And they always. It’s hard, people won’t get the pain, the losses and the challenges that come with it. But what they also miss is the small tiny happy moments that comes along with it”, he replied calmly to her. And that’s when it hit her. It hit her hard. What her father said. What Sathya meant. What she was missing most of her life. Life is not the true pleasure. It is love. Her love towards her family. Her love that keeps her going every single day, making her strive to just see the smile on her children’s face, to always love her husband no matter what. Its love that makes us feel alive, not life. “Nirav heard you weeping that day. And I almost felt the pain when he said it to me. So, as a family we are going to give you the greatest gift we can think of. Or at least to us accordingly. I can’t afford a necklace or something….”. “Just say it Arun”, she laughed. “Our love and support. From now no matter what you do, when you do or how you do it, its going to be your way. Let it be opening a restaurant or trying for a job or even being lazy like me, no matter what the society or any bloody person says, we will support you. Its your life, you apply the love to it, it will reward you back. That is what today’s life celebration day was. From now, you are not just a hardworking woman. For the society, you are the mother”, he said her, meaning each and every word from his heart. And that day she made a decision. It is going to be love that will lead her, not life. That day she understood what the world tried to express to her in different ways. That day, she

understood love. That day, she became her. With all the love from the multiverse, Ragav

#storytelling #short poetry #short story #emotions #life is strange

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anythingandeverything1d · 4 years

Text

Bandmate Harry

“Thank you and goodnight!” Harry yelled, walking off stage. You finished the drum solo, allowing the rest of the band to walk off and then followed suit, waving to the crowd as you walked by. You meet in the circle backstage and high five the rest of the band and Harry.

“We killed it tonight!” you screamed with a smile. Harry gave you the look and you settled down, waiting for the end of show meeting. Some of the tour crew joined in and you rolled your eyes. They were always acting like they were part of the band.

“Great job everyone. Rest up tonight, we do it again tomorrow. Does anyone have any notes they'd like to share?” Harry asked looking around the circle.

One of the lighting guys raised his hand, “What did you think of the lighting tonight, specifically the spotlighting during Falling and Treat People with Kindness?”

“I loved it, great job.” Harry smiled.

“Actually,” you cut in. “I do think you could do a better job. I mean you basically blinded the band during Cherry. We’ve had this problem for weeks now..I feel like we shouldn't have to keep bringing it up.”

Harry gave you a warning look and you gave it right back to him. “I’m sorry about that, is there something you suggest us changing?” the lighting man asked. He looked embarrassed, and he should have. He wasnt doing his job.

“I don't know? Maybe figuring out your job?” you remarked back. Harry intervened.

“Its been going great. Thank you. I don't feel like you need to change anything and its my call.” He shot you a look and you rolled your eyes. “Meetings over, everyone get some sleep.” You turned to walk towards the bus when Harry grabbed the back of your shirt and pulled you into his dressing room. “Sit.” he ordered.

You sat on the couch and crossed your arms looking up at him. “What do I owe this pleasure?”

Harry was pacing in front of you. “How many times have we had this talk now?”

“I don't know...” you grumbled.

“Exactly because its happened too many times. This is getting ridiculous (y/n). The way you treat the tour crew is absolutely unacceptable. You do not run the shows, you are not in charge, and you do not have the ability to talk to people like that. They are equivalent to you and your position on our team.”

“But-”

“No. No buts. This is the last time we are having this talk or you are gone. You're also grounded.”

“Grounded?!” you yelled standing up. “You cant ground me!”

“I just did.”

“Youre not my parents.”

“You're only 16, and your parents left me in charge of you while we were away on tour so yes. Yes I can. No going out tonight.”

“Or what?”

“Or you will be out of the band. I will send you home.”

“You wouldn't do that.”

“I can easily find a drummer, probably one who treats the crew better too.”

“Harry..” you moaned.

“No. Don’t Harry me.” He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at you. “You know that I love you. You know I don't want to have to remove you from the tour...but I will if I have too. Understood?”

“Yes” you mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Yes I understand.” you said. “Now can I go?”

Harry sighed and nodded his head. You walked back to your dressing room. You threw your phone onto the couch and screamed. He thinks he can march in here and tell me what to do. He thinks he's my dad. I don't have to listen to him. I can do whatever I want. Im basically an adult now. Having Harry as your older brother or parent figure on tour was fun...most of the time. He played games, kept you updated on drama, listened to your drama and made sure you were always okay and comfortable. Other times though, like tonight, he overstepped his big brother role. Your phone buzzed and you saw a text from Noah, your boyfriend. *Im outside.* You smiled and ran to the door. Noah was waiting backstage and you tackled him when you got outside. He squeezed your bum and grinned. “Hey you. Ready to go?”

“Go where?”

“Theres this dope night club. They are going to do a Cold Play night.”

“Really?” you asked.

“Yeah. Lets go. We can get food before.”

“Okay let me just grab my jacket.” You kissed his cheek and ran inside. When you walked past Harry’s room, you could hear the shower going. He won't even know. You taped a Do Not Disturb sign on your dressing room door and locked it on your way out. You met Noah outside and he took his hand pulling you to the car waiting.

Your first stop was getting dinner. The two of you stopped off at a restaurant downtown. “Got lucky that you had the night off.” Noah said stuffing another fry into his mouth.

“Yeah. Harry went off on me today again.”

“Again? What for?”

“He thinks that I’m being rude to too many people. The thing is..those people aren't doing their job.”

“Yeah, its not really his place to tell you either. He's not your mom and dad. He's not even related to you.”

“Exactly. He tried grounding me.”

Noah laughed and you kicked him under the table. “Im sorry but thats ridiculous. He grounded you?”

“Yeah thats what he said.”

“Well who does he think he is?”

“I don't know.”

“Well just forget him. We are going to have fun tonight. I’ll even get you drinks.” He winked and you smiled. Noah was 21. He was a bit older than you but you needed an older guy. The ones your age were so immature. After finishing dinner your phone buzzed. *Want to come play games with us?* You rolled your eyes and ignored Harry’s text. He texted again, *Come on (y/n)..you cant stay mad forever*

You texted him back a middle finger emoji and turned your phone off. He was not going to ruin this night. You grabbed Noah’s hand and followed him into the club. When you enter its wall to wall people. Viva la vida is playing and you instantly jump up and pull Noah to the dance floor where you're singing along, “I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing, Roman Cavalry choirs are singing, Be my mirror, my sword and shield, My missionaries in a foreign field, For some reason I can't explain, Once you go there was never, never a honest word, And that was when I ruled the world”

The night was going smoothly. You hadn't heard anything else from Harry and Noah was a lot of fun. He was buying you drink after drink and you had to admit you were feeling it. You were slurring words and tripping over other people. Paradise started playing, it was one of your favorite songs and you instantly started singing. “When she was just a girl she expected the world, But it flew away from her reach, So she ran away in her sleep and dreamed of, Para-para-paradise, para-para-paradise, para-para-paradise, Every time she closed her eyes” Noah came over and danced with you. He roughly pulled you back against him, his fingers digging into your hips. “ow” you mumbled. He kissed down your neck and reached his hands up the skirt you were wearing. “Noah-”

“Shh have a little fun baby.” His fingers pushed through your panties and his lips were sucking on your neck.

“Stop. This isn't what I want to be doing.” You were sobering up real quick. You turned around to push him off but he grabbed your butt hard enough you were going to be bruised. You whimpered in pain.

“Don't be a little pussy.” he said harshly.

“Noah let go.” You pushed against his chest harder and he laughed. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you in.

“Stop fighting (y/n). Just let loose a little.”

“No. Stop.” you pulled away and he grabbed you again “Noah let go. Serious-”

“She said let go.” Harry’s deep voice growled behind you. Your stomach sank. You looked back and Harry looked lethal, it almost scared you. Noah laughed and looked at you.

“Look its your pretend parent.” He expected you to laugh but you were afraid of both situations and didnt do anything. Noah gripped your wrist harder. “Isn't that funny?”

“Yeah.” you fake laughed and pulled your wrist free of his grip. He stumbled forward but Harry stopped him. Harry’s hands were on his chest and his normally bright and cheerful eyes were full of anger.

“When a girl says let go. You let go.” Noah swallowed, recognizing the different side of Harry he was seeing. “Do you even get that she's underage. She's 16 fucking years old and your giving her alcohol and trying this shit? Its illegal.” Noah nodded and tried backing up.

You suddenly got very afraid Harry was going to hit him. “Harry.” you grabbed him and pulled him back. “Lets just go okay? He's not worth it.” Harry seemed to calm down a little. He turned his anger to you and pointed at the door.

“Now.” he grabbed your hand and pulled you from the club. You didnt even say anything. You didnt know what to say. You had been caught red handed.

Harry pushed you into the passenger seat of his black SUV. He buckled you in and then jumped in the driver side. Without saying anything he just started driving. “I’m sorry.” you said. “I know you said not to go out but I just thought it would be fun and Noah said there was a cold play night and I love cold play and” Harry didnt even look over. You sighed and dropped your head into your hands. You started crying, you weren't sure if you were scared after what happened with Noah, drunk from the alcohol, or frustrated that you screwed up with Harry. “I shouldn't have gone. I know I didnt listen. I’m sorry.” Harry pulled over and parked the car. He turned and looked at you.

“Are you okay?” he asked calmly.

“Yeah..” you wiped the tears and looked at him. “I-”

“Stop. I want you to seriously think about it. Are you okay?” You were still crying when you nodded your head. Harry got out, walked around opened your door and hugged you. His arms tightly wrapping around your body. He rubbed your back and just held on until you calmed down. He wiped your cheeks and smiled. “Breathe (y/n).”

You took a shaky deep breath and nodded. Harry had gotten back in the car and was driving somewhere past the arena. “Where are we going?” You started to panic. What if this was it, what if he was sending you home now? “Please...Pleasedoonttakemehome” you cried.

Harry laughed and shook his head. “I’m not taking you home.”

“Where are you taking me?”

Harry pulled into a frozen yogurt shop and smiled. “Come on.” He handed you a cup and told you to get whatever you wanted. You loaded it with fruit candy and chocolate. Harry sat down with his at a table and you followed suit. He watched you calm down while eating the yogurt. “Now. Are you ready to talk about this?” You nodded tears forming again. You tried blinking them away but it wasnt working. “(y/n) youre not in trouble.” Harry said with a sigh.

“I’m not? But-but you said”

“I know. I was wrong. I shouldn't have punished you like that. Its just that youre so frustrating sometimes. I want you to understand where this is all coming from. Youre like my baby sister and I don't want you to make bad decisions. I don't want you to turn out a total bitch.”

You smiled and nodded. “I know.”

“I shouldn't try and parent you. I shouldn't have grounded you. I just need you to know that talking to the crew like that isn't okay.”

“I know. Im trying I really am.”

He nodded. “I know. Thats why Im letting you lying and sneaking out go tonight.”

You nodded. “It won't happen again.”

“I know. I also think we should talk about boys. Can’t you find like a nice church boy? Someone your own age.”

“Harry you do realize I’m always around older guys right?”

“Yeah, which is fine. Just don't date them. There have to be other options. I mean that guy was an absolute dick.” You laughed and Harry laughed. “I don't want to see you get hurt. I thought you were going to end up hurt tonight.”

You nodded. “I almost did but my big bro saved me.”

“I always will.”

---

Got this request forever ago (SORRY) but I hope its what you were expecting! Let me know how old you all are also, I’d love to write more in your perspective vs mine!

xoxo

#one direction #directioners #one direction fanfiction #one direction imagines #Harry Styles #harrystyles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines

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stonerbughead · 4 years

Text

Maria watches friday night lights (#33)

I’m back, I’m back! So here’s what happened...I watched 5x10 on October 1, never edited my note about it, then ended up taking an inadvertent break from watching until now. Idk why, but i needed a break from like...watching tv i hadn’t seen before. Anyone else have that habit of watching things you’ve already seen when you’re going through an anxious period? Starting a new job in the same month as the 2020 presidential election fit the bill, and i wanted to really immerse myself in the final three episodes of this amazing show properly so i decided to wait until i was feeling it! Anyway to the like three people who enjoy my recaps, i hope you enjoy these last four recaps.

So without further ado, aforementioned Oct 1 recap, now edited and underneath the cut:

5x10 yoooo I have never been so amused by Buddy Garrity in my life + TIM so here we go:

TIM RIGGINS RETURNS?! Yay!!! (This is my reaction just from seeing him in the “previously on.”)

Eric’s getting recruited at a ~fancy~ restaurant! Oh shitttt

“That, right there, marks the end of the East Dillon Lions football program led by Coach Eric Taylor.” “...It’s a crate of oranges.” “Yeah, and it’s from the sunshine state. From Florida! And that can only mean one thing—year round sunshine and college funding.” Lmao alarmist Buddy is hilarious and actually not wrong here. Lol incredulous Levi: “you got all that from a crate of oranges?!”

#OperationGetTimOut!! Is Eric going to speak for him as a character witness?

I *knew* that phone call from Oklahoma Tech wasn’t gonna be good. Ohhhhh Vince you should’ve listened to Eric~~~

Oh shit everyone’s buzzing about “losing their kingmaker” and it’s playoff time! Love a good car radio scene. “So how was it honey, are we moving to Florida?” Lol

“Dad, maybe we should just talk to Coach. I need to be focused on this game on Friday night, getting my spot back.” Yes Vince stand up for yourself, take a break from those meetings! I am fearful of his dad’s true reaction tho.

“Expelling Epyck, that was a good start.” Omfg some of these teachers are too cruel! That is a severely traumatized child, ma’am!

“Impromptu speeches...” “Impromptu means not planned, Buddy.” “Okay, then promptu.” I’M LIVING for these Buddy and Levi interactions omg hilarious.

“A man can’t leave if you erect a statue in his honor.” “A plaque?” “You got money for that?!” I cannot omfgggg Levi and Buddy should take this show on the road!

Tami’s “Oh Levi you are too much.” That’s a nice way to say “fuck you” for making her take a personal day to go speak on a panel he TOLD her she’s speaking at? Smh this is why staff needs unions.

Lmao Buddy is being so extra with Eric, I can’t

...and enter Billy, here to ask Eric a favor...

“Tim Riggins? One of the best fullbacks in the great state of Texas? The boy my girl fell in love with? Yeah I’ll do that.” Damn Buddy has a crush on Tim Riggins too!! I get it dude same.

“I believe in loyalty, Billy. Sticking with your people, through good and bad.” SO EXTRA LMAO

“Hey coach you going to Florida?” “I was planning on going home and I suggest you do too, Tinker.” Ugh poor Eric having to deal with all of these rumors and the team being endlessly curious right before the playoffs!

Awww Tami’s excited about the Florida houses. “Three years with a two year option.” Damn. Aw the way that Eric looks at Tami and you know he wants to give her everything she wants 🥺

Omggg now Buddy is making the players talk up Eric Taylor 😂 his scheming truly kills me

Becky and Luke tossing a football, so precious!

Ah, there’s more to life than college football, Luke! “No one wants me.” “I want you.” Aww Becky.

Aw Billy is getting so frustrated trying to write his speech for Tim. “It sounds ridiculous.” “No it doesn’t. You’re a good brother.” Oh Mindy 🥺 fuck prisonssss he should not feel like his words have so much bearing on his brother’s literal freedom!

Yes to Vince going to Eric and agreeing to earn his way back! That’s the Vince we know and love!

I love Eric telling Tami about Tim’s parole hearing. “You going to do it?” “You bet i’m going to do it.” My heart! The way there’s no question about it 🥺

Andddd Vince’s dad predictably refuses to let up with the recruiters. But this time Vince is standing up to him!

Yesss Vince, walk away! Especially after his dad yelled at him like that; this is not your life, it’s Vince’s!

“Don’t whack her. Just a little love tap.” LMAO Luke, Tinker, Becky, and a pig. Luke is giving Tinker pageant advice for Tinker at a competition with the pig?? I can’t, that’s weirdly so cute. Becky clearly finds it cute.

Omg Tim in his all-white prison uniform I HATE THISSS

OMGGGG “I don’t want Billy to speak, he’s done enough damage.” Fuck this is gonna fuck Billy UP. But also fair...I mean, Billy DOES tend to be a fuck up?? Isn’t that how we got here?

Yessss Tami going off explaining that standardized testing isn’t the end all be all!!

“what would you have us do, meet with every kind in the state?” “Yes I would.” to a round of applause. GO OFF QUEEN TAMI TAYLOR

Yes Coach Taylor! Give us one of your epic speeches!

Poor Tim looks like he has a lot of self hatred sitting here listening to Eric talking about him 🥺

“I asked him to be an assistant coach because of his character off the field.” YES

lol Buddy Garrity getting up to speak even tho he’s not on the list 🤣

“He’s like family to me.” OH BUDDYYYY he’s coming through with a full time job for Tim when he comes out?????? Tim’s smile of relief.

“It’s time for you to let Tim Riggins come home.” YESSSSS

AW Tim sent Eric letters from prison?? My poor babe. “I’m sorry I didn’t visit more.” “I’m sorry I let you down.” “You didn’t and that’s not why I’m here.” IM EMOTIONAL

Holy shit Vince’s dad is STILL not letting up? “I’m your father. I know what’s right.” “that is enough! Get off his back!” “He needs a father, not an agent!” YES REGINA GO OFFFFF she finally snapped!

(It’s wild how Coach possibly leaving is being used in this fight in Vince’s family. Oh, Dillon!)

Oh shit Billy is yelling at both Becky and Mindy, clearly very affected by what Tim said at his parole hearing. “You did everything you could and that makes all the difference.” Aww Mindy, and Billy apologized! Too much stress for such a young family! Also unrelated but Mindy looks mad hot for the athletic banquet.

Awww I love getting to see the other teams stand up. Yeah cross country, yes girls volleyball!!!

Man, playing a sport in Texas that’s not football must suck, look at that insane applause for football vs. weak for everyone else

Buddy giving Gracie a lil t-shirt and saying, “clear eyes, full hearts...you know it?” And they’re all like “can’t...lose” and Gracie giggles! Ok that’s cute af

Omg the tension between Jess and Vince!! “Jess, I miss you. I miss you.” 🥺 aw yeah she blew him off for her brothers

Wow they made it to the playoffs for the first time in 25 years?? Well here comes Buddy’s All Hail Eric Taylor pageant. Lmao

Awww these heartfelt addresses from the team members on how much Eric Taylor has changed their lives??? Manipulative, Buddy, really. He knows what he’s doing.

Yesss Eric, give Tami that massage. See y’all, this is what being a good man looks like.

“It had the desired effect. It sure made you think twice about leaving Dillon.” “It’s a hell of an offer. I’d own that building. They have funding.” “Mmm and oranges. Don’t forget about oranges.” “Mmm that pool.” They wanna leave.

“You know what I want more than anything right now? I wanna bring these boys to state.” “I know you do.” “They deserve it.” “I know they do. But after you do that, this offer is something to think about. Because you deserve that.” Ugh I know I say it a lot but since we’re in the final four episodes now and I’m mostly talking into the void anyway — god, what a model of a wonderful and gentle and loving and communicative marriage! I am continually floored!

Becky with cowboy boots at Luke’s farm works. And ooh Luke’s mom said hi to her?? Progress!!

Aw they’re talking about how pretty they find Luke’s farm as he tries to imagine a future here in Dillon. “I have an amazing imagination. I see your next game, and you’re winning.” Awww Becky is such a cute girlfriend.

What a cute shot of Luke and Becky on the farm, “you ever think you could imagine living on a farm?” “Sure.” AWWW

Vince at Eric’s door on game day?!!! He’s asking Eric not to take the offer to Shane State when he’s supposed to already be at the field house!?!

“Having you as a coach is one of the best things to happen to me. I don’t know where I’d be without you. Either in jail or in a ditch somewhere.” Damn forget Buddy this shit is from the HEART

Eric tells him to get in the damn car and tells him he’s starting!! “You know what your problem is? You ask too many damn questions.”

AHHHHH TIM IS HOME! Showered in a flannel! My heart! He salutes Becky with a beer!

Aww Billy is so excited to have his brother home.

It seems uneasy in the home. Coming back from prison is hard.

And here they go, heading onto the bus with signs and cheers!

“I’ll tell you, this is an away game, but you look around here at the community tonight and the young players that I have playing for me, and the character they got—no matter where this community goes, that’s home.”

Damn Eric just announced he was planning to stay home in Dillon to the press. “you’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” says Tami. “I love you.” and with the FNL theme song playing aghkliyb I’m not ready for the final three episodes ahhh!!!

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #friday night lights 5x10

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mxrstar · 4 years

Note

would you be willing to post all the answers to that quiz? i got sasha, and it honestly made me sob, but i would love to be able to read all of the possible outcomes

alright so I woke up with several new followers, 900 notes, and seven ask. which is!!! weird for my blog. on top of that, I very soon stopped counting the number of people who told me my quiz made them cry. I,,,,,, thank you? also I am really happy I could provide any type of comfort?

you are not the only one who asked me to post all the answers but im gonna do it once for everyone. okay, so (copied from my notes app)

[Jon] you are eating alone in the kitchen and Jon finds you- immediately can see there is something wrong. he asks you if you are okay, tells you that he is there for you. your replies aren’t spectacularly helpful, but he sits down and eats with you. asks you other questions, though at your own pace. he touches your shoulder as he brings the dishes to the counter, and tries to tell you, again, something vaguely comforting. he isn’t the picture of confidence when it comes to these things, but he is trying so goddamn hard. you don’t feel alone

[Gerry] you are at a cafe with Gerry when something bad happens. he sees the way you change— notices. long moment of silence, and then: “what do you want to do?” he keeps asking, keeps trying to make you smile. tells you, so earnestly, that you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. but there is a music shop around the corner, and weren’t you looking for that album a while ago? aren’t you still gonna smile when you come back home and listen to it? [he doesn’t matter if you go or don’t. the important thing is: you know he’ll take you. you know he will still ask. and once you have answered, he’ll help you get up and put on the music.]

[Martin] it’s midnight and the lights are off. you mention that something is wrong, and Martin moves a bit closer. doesn’t quite touch you yet, but you can feel his warmth. “what?” he asks. you tell him, and he tries to talk it out with you. he is relentlessly hopeful. he tells you about that poem he heard once, about that song you just reminded him off. he hugs you when you cry, tells you about tomorrow, about the cake you’ll make together once you get up.normally, you’d feel guilty for all that you said. you don’t now.

[Tim] Tim meets you after work/school. you are getting home, and he randomly walks into you. he sees that you are not doing good. he makes up en excuse for you to be with him (“I am going running, do you want to come with me?” “I know this weird abandoned place, do you want to come see it?”) and eventually you say yes. he tells you about his day, makes you laugh. when you get there, when you stop running— you both sit down and he asks what happened. he is worried about you, he says, and somehow manages to make you feel light. still, you feel yourself letting go and almost instantly start crying. he hugs you through it.

[Sasha] you haven’t heard from Sasha in a while. she calls you and asks you how you are doing. you lie and she can tell. she is in your house twenty minutes later. she has a plan and you can tell— it feels like a gift and you desperately want to take it. slowly, gently, she teaches you how to. lets you see your pain and work around it together. with her, you start talking. her words calm you, and she holds your hand as you talk. she’s there. she’s there.

[Georgie] you are on a bus, and Georgie sits beside you. you have been somewhere together, and something upsetting happened. “you won’t go there again,” she says, suddenly and you look at her wide-eyed.“what?” “we simply won’t go there again,” she repeats, “it is just not a welcoming place.” “but you liked it,” you protest, and she frowns, sits back so that your shoulder touch. “I did not.” “okay,” you say, relief washing over you. “okay.” [you are going to eat dinner at a nice place tonight. you know the questions will come only if you want her to. you know she has that story to tell. you know you’ll want to hear it last, so that you can go home smiling. it is a nice prospect]

#asks #i think i left out melanie and basira because i dont have too clear of a characterization for them?#basically i wouldnt have known what to put as their answer #melanie would perhaps be easier #and a bit harder for basira #but i had 7 answers already and that took me hours so i thought it best to keep it simple #tma quiz #long post

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neocityarchive · 5 years

Text

ends | mark lee au (pt 1)

summary | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: none

Chapter Summary: You didn’t have to be reminded that you lost the best thing to ever happen to you, but when a great opportunity came your way, you thought maybe a little risk won’t hurt.

A/N: i woke up and suddenly this wasnt on my blog lmao im so frustrated. i mightve accidentally deleted it but here it is again.

You looked at your phone to check the time. You have 15 minutes to get to the SM building. Why you’re going back there, you have absolutely no idea.

One of your sunbaes called and asked you to come in, saying they needed the interns’ input on the graphics of the new advertisement material for the recent SM Rookies project. You could have easily said no, but you also are very much aware that SM doesn’t usually do this. It would be crazy to pass an opportunity this big. But that’s not what you’re really worried about.

You stared at your screen until it went black, then pressed on the lock button, illuminating it again. Only a minute has passed since you last checked. You still weren’t used to your generic lockscreen. It’s been a month since you changed it, but it still feels weird not seeing Mark’s cheeky grin everytime your phone lights up.

Stop it, you told yourself.

You don’t know if it’s just in your head or if it’s the fact that you’re anxious and overthinking about the possibility of seeing him again, but the bus seems to be going faster today when you didn’t need it to.

You have no idea if the boys are going to be in the building. You stopped keeping track of the whole group since the break up. You couldn’t bring yourself to watch any of their videos since your ex seems to be in every single one of them.

In an attempt to get distracted, you put your earphones on and your playlist on shuffle, shifting your attention to the busy city life happening outside the bus’ window.

As if the universe didn’t want you happy, the songs coming up the playlist just made everything worse. Yang Da Il’s Sorry started playing and suddenly, you were thrown back to a memory you’ve been trying so hard to suppress lately.

You just got back from a trip to China, two days earlier than what you told everyone. These days, Mark has been really stressed trying to balance his time and energy between the three units. You could tell he was tired despite his efforts not to show it to anyone. You haven’t had a decent conversation in a while. He was always drained, so every phone call would just end up in an argument. If not, he’d be sleeping, or he would say bye even before you could tell him about your day.

It was hectic, so you thought you could pay him a surprise visit to lift some of the stress off his shoulders. After all, it used to work. Used to.

You were already on your way to the conference room where the dreamies were having a meeting but you stopped in your tracks a few feet away from the door.

It was quiet. There wasn’t the usual rowdy noise you could hear even from the elevator, which is very weird considering it’s the dreamies. That’s how you knew they were talking about something serious. A chill went down your spine, finding the whole thing unsettling.

“You should tell her the truth,” you heard Donghyuck’s voice from the hallway.

“I know, though,” Mark replied abruptly.

Your face contorted. You missed the sound of his voice, so much that your chest ached. But that wasn’t what you wanted to hear more about. Tell the truth to who? What truth? Who’s her?

“Just don’t make her wait,” Hyuck said. “She’ll only get hurt.”

Mark sighed. He sounded exhausted, like they’ve been on this topic for quite a while and the flow of the conversation wasn’t going his way.

No one spoke. It was very unusual since they usually just talk over each other, but this time, even a singe drop of water would sound deafening. You found yourself holding your breath.

It didn’t seem like they were talking about work. If it was, they would definitely be louder. You searched your mind of anything or anyone they could be talking about but there wasn’t enough information to make a conclusion. Still, there was something stirring in your chest. You don’t know how to explain it, but it didn’t feel good.

“Mark hyung,” Renjun called, breaking the silence.

“Oh?”

He cleared his throat. “I’m just going to ask the question that is on everyone’s minds right now.”

Silence. It was deafening.

“Do you still love Y/N?”

You blinked. Twice. Thrice. You suddenly felt like all the air had been knocked out of your lungs. Your knees felt week, and your mind was going nuts. This wasn’t what you expected to hear when you came. Not at all.

You started going through the possibilities. Do they know another Y/N? Did you hear Renjun right? Is this some sort of prank??? Do they know you’re listening?

But the silence in the room proves it’s no prank.

You wanted to run, you wanted to scream. You wanted to burst into the room all at once. But your feet stayed glued to the ground. You found yourself waiting for the answer to a question you never thought you’d have to ask.

Do you? you thought.

Your mind wandered to your recent phone calls, your frequent arguments. It happened so often that there has been a part of you that hesitates to call him, afraid you’d fight again. He rarely ever sends goodnight and good morning texts, or even updates about his day anymore. Things have definitely changed between the two of you, but you always thought it was just because he was exhausted from work.

Your breath hitched in your throat. Today was supposed to be a good day. Today was supposed to be the day that would get you your boyfriend back. The day everything would be back to normal. But apparently... not.

“Do you?” Hyuck asked again.

“I don’t know. I’m just...” Mark’s voice trailed off.

You waited.

“...so tired of it.”

You pulled your earphones from your ear and stuffed your phone in your purse in frustration.

Your eyes have started to well up again. You looked up, trying to blink the tears away but it won’t work. No matter how you try to fool yourself and convince yourself you’ve gotten better, all these small moments that lead you back to him proves otherwise.

Part of you always knew things would be like this eventually, that Mark would get tired. He had way too many things on his plate, and you always felt like you should be the least of his problems.

He was always born to be a star. With his talent and passion for what he does, he was bound to take over the world. You knew that meant a lot of sacrifices for him. Living away from his home country, giving up the chance of a normal teenage life, always being within the eyes of the media and fans. You always knew the time would come when the compromise he had to make was our time for each other.

You just never thought it would come to the point where he would give up everything you had after all you’ve been through. Somehow, through all those months of dating him, you had yourself convinced that he loved you enough to not leave you like this. Turns out you were wrong.

“I never imagined I would say this...” you remember him saying, “but I think we should break up.”

It really felt like your world fell apart that day.

You used to be so cynical about how breakups are portrayed in the movies. It’s always so dramatic. The characters always seem like everything have stopped working after the breakup. You used to think it was overboard. But after going through it yourself, you realized maybe the movies were right.

Nothing felt right after that day. Everything seemed so much dimmer, much quieter, much slower. It was like the world forgot how to function properly...

The bus pulled at your stop, breaking your train of thoughts. You got off and walked to the building, taking two steps at a time, afraid of seeing anyone even remotely familiar. Thankfully, you arrived at the 11th floor without any casualty.

The whole thing went by quickly. Your mind was completely preoccupied while working. No traces of Mark, not even on the huge television screens on the walls.

Contrary to what you originally thought, working in SM was actually a fun experience. Aside from the fact you met the love of your life there, the people working with you were really nice. Today, they offered you a job, convincing you to stay. It sounded tempting, good pay, good benefits, but you didn’t know if you could work in a place that holds too much of the past you’re trying to let go of. Maybe not now. You told them you’d think about it.

Before you knew it, the work part was over. You were already back in the elevator, feeling a bit better than you were when you arrived.

The elevator stopped at the 9th floor, revealing a group of people who looked like executives. Upon seeing them, your sunbae grabbed you and the other intern by the arm and pulled you out of the elevator.

“You may go first, Mr. Lee. We’re not in any hurry.” He smiled to them, who nodded politely as they entered the elevator.

“Thank you,” the man who you assumed was Mr. Lee said.

Once the doors closed, your sunbae let out a sigh of relief.

“Are you okay?” you asked. “Who was that?”

“I’m fine.” He nodded. “That was a major stockholder of the company and a bunch of other important people.”

You nodded to yourself, suddenly realizing why the faces looked familiar. You must have seen them in the TV or something.

“Alright you guys. I’m gonna take the stairs. I’m just going down one level anyway. You can wait for the next one here,” your sunbae said.

Just then, the other elevator door opened but it was going up. The other intern went in, saying she forget something upstairs. Just like that, you were alone in the 9th floor.

A sudden realization dawned on you. You didn’t recognize the floor right away since the interior changed a bit, but this was where the recording booths are. This was also where you last saw Mark. As if in a trance, you decided to around to see what else changed within the few months you haven’t been here.

A chill went up your spine as you walked past the lounge beside the recording booth, your mind going back to how easily you got your heart broken the last time you were there.

It was two days after you heard the dreamies’ conversation. You couldn’t bring yourself to see him after that. You called him earlier and asked to meet up, lying that you’ve only just gotten home from China.

He agreed to meet you at the lounge beside the recording booths, saying he can’t leave the studio because the dreamies need him for advice while recording.

So you went there, feeling uneasy. There was no one else around, which was a good thing because you were sure whatever happens, you would cry.

You and Mark haven’t seen each other for weeks, but when he came, there were no kisses. Not even hugs. There was none of the usual excitement and undeniable craving that you both get whenever you see each other after not being able to for a long time. This time, he just sat quietly beside you. You weren’t even surprised.

He looked different. He had makeup on, but you could still tell the circles under his eyes got bigger. He obviously wasn’t doing well. But then again, neither were you. You spent the last two nights sleepless and crying, anxious, wondering what the hell you should do.

Without a word, Mark held out his hand, palm up. It’s something he does when he wants you to hold his hand.

You hesitated, wondering what happens after this, but it didn’t take you much thought. You intertwined your fingers with his anyway. It felt so natural and familiar, and weirdly out of place in the situation. It hurt.

He squeezed your hand gently.

“You okay?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper. If it was any louder than that, you knew it would break.

He nodded weakly.

“You look tired,” you managed to say.

He looked at you for the first time that day, and it took all of your willpower to keep yourself from breaking down.

“Cause I am,” he replied.

“Can I help?”

He shook his head, looking down. He detached his fingers from yours to fix his cap, running his fingers through his hair. You were half expecting for him to hold your hand again, but you weren’t surprised when he didn’t.

“Y/N,” he said.

“Mark,” you replied.

He bit his lip, an anxious habit. “Aren’t you tired?”

“Not really? I had a nap before coming here so–”

“That’s not what I meant.”

You just stared at him.

“Aren’t you tired,” he said again, slower and softer this time, “of this...? Of... us?”

You looked away. You knew this was coming. You just didn’t think it would be this soon. You took a deep breath and tried your hardest not to cry.

“I am,” you said, your voice close to breaking. “But...”

You weren’t sure what to say. It’s true. You are tired. You’re tired of not being able to see him, of not getting a proper conversation out of the small time you have together, of things not being like they were before. You’re so damn tired of it all. But telling him that is like telling him to stop doing his job, to stop doing what he loves. That’s the last thing he needs.

“But?”

You sighed. “I don’t care.”

He shook his head again. “God, this is so hard,” you heard him mutter under his breath before turning to you. “How can you not care that you’re tired? Doesn’t this frustrate you?”

“I can’t just...” your voice broke. You let a deep breath and swallowed, trying to calm yourself. “What do you want me to say? I’m tired, Mark, and yes, it does frustrate me. A lot. But so what if I am? It doesn’t mean I want to give up on us.”

He buried his head in his hands.

You don’t know what you’re still holding on to. It’s like everything that used to be there is disappearing right before your eyes. You’re stalling, but you already know how this ends.

“Y/N,” he said, his eyes meeting yours. “Let’s face it. I’m already losing time for you, and it will only get worse. We never see each other anymore. I can’t even go out of this damn building to spend an hour with you. All we do is argue on the phone, and even when we see each other, we don’t talk properly. How can you still want to stay even after all this?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Does love really need to have a reason? you thought.

“Look, we barely understand each other anymore. I can’t... I can’t do this.”

Your heart broke. There was no other way to explain it. That’s exactly how it felt. Like something inside your chest just died. It’s like he had stabbed you with a knife, and just when you thought the pain was at its maximum, he still had to twist the blade in your chest.

“I never imagined I would say this,” he said, “but I think we should break up.”

You just sat there, almost motionless if your lips weren’t quivering. If this was a few months ago, he would already have his arms wrapped around you, muttering that it’s going to be fine, that he has your back no matter what. Now, he’s just... there.

You forced yourself to speak. “Just like that?”

He didn’t reply.

You let out an empty laugh, a tear rolling down your cheek simultaneously. “You couldn’t even wait a day and just spend a little more time with me. That’s how much you want this done.”

“No, I—” he tried to speak, but you were already riding the high of your emotions, you just had to let it out.

“I got back from China two days ago,” you said. “I was supposed to surprise you, maybe ask you out for lunch. But when I got here, I overheard your conversation with the guys. I heard you say you were tired of us, but it wasn’t just that. The way you said it...” you let out a shaky breath, your tears now uncontrollable. “God, it hurt to hear. I knew what you were thinking even then, and there was no changing your mind. So I couldn’t bring myself to see you after that because I was so afraid of what you’d say. I had a feeling if we saw each other that day, it would just make things worse. So I spent the last two days thinking what to do, you know how stupid I am.”

“Y/N,” he said softly, but you weren’t done.

“I still hoped I could maybe change your mind. I hoped my gut was wrong, that there was still a chance this could work. But I guess my luck had already ran out. I knew from the moment you walked in and just sat there, not even giving me so much as a hug, that you won’t even try to make things work anymore. So I guess... this is really it.”

“I didn’t... you weren’t supposed to.. I...” He searched for words, but you couldn’t bear to stay and wait for him to change his mind when he clearly won’t.

So you stood up and took something out of your purse. It was an elephant keyring that you got from China, something you bought especially for him. You two have a thing of giving each other tiny souvenirs from the places you went without each other.

Mark stood up too. His eyes were welled with tears, making the situation harder than it already is.

“It’s a lucky charm, supposedly,” you said, handing him the keyring.

He wrapped his fingers around it. A single drop of tear streamed on his cheek. And then another.

“Stop crying. God, at least make it easier for me to leave. This is unfair,” you joked, wiping his tears.

Mark managed to let out a laugh. For some reason, it just broke your hear even more.

You forced a smile. This is the guy you’ve been in love with, longer and harder than you’ve ever been with anyone. You hate the you probably won’t hear his explosive laugh again or watch him get overexcited over the simplest things or hear him randomly sing Frank Ocean under his breath. You hate that you have to let it all go so soon when you never thought you’d ever have to.

“I love you, Mark Lee,” you said, taking a step back. You know he secretly loves it when you say his full name. “And I sincerely hope you’ll find peace again and be happy after this.”

Before you could break down again, you began walking away.

But you haven’t even taken three steps when you were pulled by the arm. You spun around slightly, ending up wrapped in his arms again, his hug tighter than any you’ve felt. He buried his head on your shoulders while you wrapped your arms around his waist like you’ve done so many times before.

He didn’t say a single word when you pulled away. Neither did you. There was nothing left to say.

You turned around and just like that, you were gone.

The ding of the elevator opening pulled you back to the present. But you were too far from the doors already. You wouldn’t make it in time.

Your cheeks were wet. You didn’t realize you’ve been crying.

You figured it’s pointless to tell yourself you’ve moved on when you know full well it would take so much more than just two months to get over something as special as your relationship with Mark. Still, you couldn’t help but beat yourself up over the fact that you’re staring at an empty lounge in an empty hallway, crying like a baby.

You quickly dabbed your eyes and cheeks to dry the tears before looking around to see if there was anyone who witnessed your slightly embarrassing moment, but the are was still empty.

You went back to the elevator before you could see another thing that would trigger your thoughts once more.

You thought you were already safe. Excluding the flashbacks, the day has gone smoothly so far. But with the luck you are born with, when something is bound to go wrong, it definitely will. It’s almost funny that it didn’t even take five minutes before something did.

“Y/N?!” a familiar voice called from behind you.

You turned around, facing a tanned, brunette boy whose eye glinted with surprise, and with an aura radiating mischief and cleverness.

“Hyuck?”

#so apparently i accidentally deleted this so here hshdhdhdjdhhd #nct au #series au #mark lee #nct mark #nct mark au #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct sad hours #nct angst #nct hyuck #nct donghyuck #nct haechan #nct dream au #nct 127 au #mark x reader #hyuck x reader #mark lee au #haechan au

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