#i was so obsessed with finding patterns on where you will stop being friends with me

[faildaughterr]

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[angiesmagicspace]

Only look, don't touch

Pairing: Seonghwa x reader x Mingi x San

Genre: smut, fluff

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: name-calling, threesome, grinding, toys, degradation, praise, oral (male receiving), squirt, orgasm denial…….

Summary: You belong to him, everyone knows that you like that. But something about testing his patience and subtly offering yourself to his friends seems more thrilling. Sadly for you, he already knows how to fix that.

Masterlist

Authors note: Here I am back from the dead, uni is killing my will to live, so yeah. Also, here's the toy that is used in the fic.

Seonghwa wasn't obsessive but possessive, sure. He liked for people to respect and take care of his belongings. That especially applied to you, he was fine with members taking care of you when you weren't well and on similar occasions. But he had limits to that, one wrong look from any of them, and your neck would be full of his marks the next day. You liked that mentality, you knew that you were his, and he would do anything to protect you from anyone. However, that also gave you a lot of space to test his patience. Wearing promiscuous outfits around the members and in the dorms was one of your favorite forms of entertainment. Seonghwa would stare them down, shooting arrows by looking at them, and that would be enough for all of them to feel threatened.

The boys just came back from the tour and that meant a lot of time spent catching up with everyone. Especially with your boyfriend and his dorm mates, San and Mingi. After a few days of just chilling around and listening to their stories, you thought that it was the perfect time to test Seonghwa's patience again. You two haven't had a lot of time for intimate moments, so your plan made sense. By provoking him, you would ensure that he blows your mind the moment you two are alone at the apartment. 

Day one of your devious plans consisted of you just walking around in the tiniest top and tightest sweats you had. Making breakfast for all four of you, while three of them sat at the counter behind you. This was already driving Seonghwa crazy, every time San or Mingi looked up he would stare at them like he had lasers in his eyes. They felt his eyes on them very well, so they tried their best to keep looking at the pattern of marble on the counter. After breakfast, all of you sat in the living room, either watching the movie that was on or just scrolling on your phones. But that didn't mean that your plan stops at your outfit. You talked to San about some clothes while making sure that you were touching him very innocently, but your boyfriend knew that those touches weren't innocent at all. After lunch, it was apparent that your plan already made Seonghwa see red. So that's where you stopped but only for today.

Day two meant that you needed to get more progressive. Usually, you would be wobbling after just one day of provoking him, but that wasn't the case this time. So today your outfit consisted of the smallest pajamas you could find, coincidentally those pajamas were bought by your lovely boyfriend with your promise that he could rip them off you. As soon as he saw you in them, he knew that this would be a long day. Neither San nor Mingi could contain themselves, even though they knew that Seonghwa would probably kill them if it wasn't for their friendship and job. You made sure to make as much contact with both boys today. Chatting with them while they played some games in the living room, putting your legs over theirs while they played, encouraging them to stroke your soft thighs in the short breaks between the matches. Even when Seonghwa wasn't in your sight, you knew that he was clenching his fists to the point where his nails were making small bruises on his hands. But unbeknownst to you, he already made a plan how to get back at you for acting like a brat. He already knew that you were fine with being watched and that you were fine with someone joining your sexual experience. So he had a perfect plan involving one more thing, but you will find out about it tomorrow.

You were sure that yesterday would make Seonghwa lose his mind enough, so he would fuck you, but you were very wrong. Being separated for a long time probably taught him to control himself better. But your plan wasn't over, today should be the final straw for him. Entering the kitchen with only a silk bathrobe on should do the trick. All three of them were talking before you entered, taking their attention away from the conversation. As soon as they saw you, Mingi and San looked back down at the table, Seonghwa on the other hand just smirked. Sadly for you, there were some errands you needed to run today, so there wasn't much space for you to tempt the boys. But Seonghwa used that time wisely. He proposes to his dear friends that they join you two in some very sinful acts. He also used that time to clean the tentacle-like grinder that he bought for you. Then he strapped it on one of the coffee table books that you had in the living room, arranging everything to be perfect for when you came back.

You didn't know what were you expecting to see when you came back to the dorms, but the setting before you wasn't anywhere in your mind. There they were, all three of them shirtless, on the couch with their legs spread, the coffee table pushed back with something pink on top of the books. Seonghwa looked at you, and you gave him a very puzzled look. “Oh, honey, you are home,” he commented, bringing the attention of the other two. You just stood there frozen, this whole picture was too much to process. Three half-naked men right in front of you seem more like porn than your living room. “Hi princess,” San smiled, which brought you out of your trans a little. “H-hi guys, what is all of this?” you questioned while slowly moving toward the middle of the living room. “Oh well, Seonghwa told us that he needs some help dealing with you, so we were glad to help him,” Mingi explains, but none of it made sense. You looked at Seonghwa, but he just sat there, legs spread, his lips spread in a smirk. “Well, baby, I saw how needy you are for some attention. So I figured the three of us could satisfy your needy cunt,” his words echoed around the room and went straight to your pussy instead of your brain. “So baby, take off your clothes and start the show,” your boyfriend ordered, but you just stood there frozen again.

“What is it, baby? Shocked that you finally got what you wanted,” Seonghwa asked again, but still no words left your mouth. He leaned over and whispered something to San. “No worries' princess. I will help you to undress yourself. Seonghwa wants to see it,” San said, slowly approaching you. When he was right in front of you, first, he kissed your neck while unbuttoning your pants. His kisses made you relax a bit, closing your eyes, you threw your head back to give him more space for sloppy kisses. “Look at my little slut, as soon as someone even kisses her, she is gone stupid. Nothing but dick inside her little mind,” your boyfriend's words rang through your ears as San took off your shirt and bra, leaving you only in your panties. “She is so beautiful Seonghwa, I can't believe that you are letting us see her like this,” Mingi was already breathless, stroking his long dick over his sweats. “Well, that is what she wants. I got to make my sluts wish come true,” Seonghwa shot back, equally breathless.

 San kissed you one last time before pulling away and going back to his seat on the couch. You let out a little whine, already feeling neglected. “Now, slut, no need to whine so early. Take off those nasty wet panties and straddle your new toy that's on the table,” Seonghwas ordered, his voice powerful enough to make you do anything without questioning it for a second. After taking off your panties, you went to the table, observing the toy that was strapped to the book. That's when you realized that it was the tentacle grinder that you showed Seonghwa. “Well slut, I guess you are getting a gift even though you were acting like a brat for the past three days,” Seonghwa commented, while you were struggling to straddle the toy. When you finally positioned yourself on the toy, you looked up, realizing the position you were in. Three of them stroking their dicks, while you just sat there naked and horny out of your mind. “Princess, don't make us wait anymore. I can't wait to see you play with yourself and hear you moan for us,” San's voice was desperate, he wanted to witness your pleasure. “Start grinding slut or there will be no cumming for you tonight,” Seonghwa was stern. With slow movement of your hips, you started grinding on the toy. Feeling every ridge on it, you went faster with every passing second. “Oh Seonghwa, she is a slut for you. Make her play with her boobs please,” Mingi begged, already edging himself, not wanting to cum too soon. “You heard the man, slut,” the moment you heard his voice you grabbed both of your boobs, massaging them. Your moans were louder with every move of your hips, chasing your pleasure, that felt like it ran every time you got close. “Princess, you are so beautiful like this, all whiny and desperate to cum,” San already pulled his dick out squeezing it, making your mouth water when you saw it.

When your moans started being more erotic, it was a cue for Seonghwa to stop you there. “Stop slut,” he yelled almost, making you stop immediately in fear that he will make you suffer if you don't. “Oh, look who suddenly decided to be a good girl,” he approached you, grabbing you by your chin, and making you stand up from the position you were in. “So desperate for some cock that you would whore yourself out to my friends,” he spat, making your whole body shiver while shaking your head. “Don't deny it, princess. Both of us saw you, and it was very hard to resist you,” you heard San whine behind Seonghwas's back. “Hear that slut, no one is oblivious to your little slut show,” Seonghwa cocked his head. “I'm sorry sir, I was so desperate for you. I wanted you to fuck me so hard that I can't think anymore,” apologizing won't work now but at least you tried like you do every time. “Oh slut, you know that I don't care about your apologies. Now go down on your knees in front of my friends and show them how sorry you are,” he let go of your chin, and you ran towards the couch.

 Dropping to your knees, opening your mouth, and offering it to both boys to use. Mingi was first to p let you suck him, while San stroked your boobs with the tip of his dick. Mingi didn't let you do anything, he grabbed your hair and started fucking your mouth at a vigorous pace. Only choking sounds were heard in the room. Not long after, he came down your throat, moaning in a high pitch in contrast to his low voice. He moved so San could have a taste of your mouth. He let you do your thing for a change, and you made sure to take all of him. Sucking his whole dick inside your mouth, while giving small licks to his tip. While you were focused on pleasuring San, Seonghwa took the opportunity to bring your hips up and slam his big, hard cock inside your wet pussy. “Let me help you with that slut,” he said before rocking his hips, making your body rock forward, so you took even more of Sans's dick. He continued the rough pace, bringing you closer to the one thing you craved the most, your orgasm. With Seonghwas's help, you made San cum even faster than he intended. That's when Seonghwa pulled you back by your hair, your back hitting his chest. “That's right slut, moan for me, scream my name,” every word brought you closer to the edge. Your final straw was when you felt his long fingers on your sensitive clit. Body spasming, thighs shaking, you squirted all over the floor and the front of the couch. That sight alone made Seonghwa cum so deep inside of you. He grabbed you by your hips and brought you to lie down on the couch. The other two boys were too far gone to notice what was going on between you two. “Is this what you wanted, baby?” Seonghwa asked while carefully cleaning you up. You just nodded, not able to form any words. “I'm glad you are satisfied. You did so good for us,” his praise being the last thing you heard before drifting off to sleep.

[saint-vagrant]

for the love of god stop with these Rational Thinkers' paragraph + italicised "VOTE!" posts. is anyone moved by this? i've seen "vote for whoever you like, but just vote" VOTE FOR WHOEVER BUT JUST DO IT? BRO! that's somehow more pathetic than demanding that you back biden or else you're too young and too old and too stupid and too academic and ultimately a traitor if you came to a different conclusion and act, to your best ability, in accordance with your ethics.

like yeah you'll do whatever and so will i, i guess. but it's psychically painful to see this totally coincidental influx specifically since october 2023. people calling leftists (well specifically anti-imperialists &/ communists) "russian/chinese/3rd party agents" who are "lying to you to stop you from voting." it's been worded as "your friends are lying to you." that is so cool. it's like 2016 in here. yday i saw "voting isn't about which leader will sign off on your glorious revolution" which is such a snide misunderstanding of... most things, i think? it's giving "proudly launching headfirst down stairwell." more than half the time i check out OP, they're openly a zionist, or end up there by default in the sense of being a bland milquetoast etiquette-obsessed "let people enjoy things" centrist who's so mistrusting of information or pattern recognition that if you possess either you're corrupted by "ideology."

why would it be necessary to lie? what purpose for a big convoluted conspiracy? for whom IS this simplistic, condescending, dispassionate shit anyway??? surely not for the people whose families are burning alive, thanks to the american government who robs and brutalises its own people in order to fund further massacres. because how could you look that person in the face and tell them "no, you don't know fuckall about how things run around here. now is the time for political decorum" ?? there must be such a sense of comfort in the idea that those people are "over there." like i think it's pretty unfortunate that a lot of these posts begin by citing some ~dramatic~ ~babybrained~ "take" committed by disgruntled "western" posters (who are spies) but when i heard the source, or when i go find it, it's by a palestinian or muslim person or just someone from whom it like, kind of makes sense why they feel the way they do! but then it's characterised in such a vague wussy ass way! huh??!!! like it seems very convenient to ignore WHO is organising/mobilising/criticising, WHO is protesting and abstaining, so that these posts come off more sound and reasonable than the leftist sleeper agents who appeal to emotion over sense. and i'm not even telling you not to vote! i'm wondering why it's so impossible to conceive of a reality where a marginalised person or group concludes that the health and safety of their community will be sought and achieved through other means. you really can't imagine that? that's dumb to you?

so i guess i, too, don't care what the hell you do with your precious little life, but it is So Fucked to talk down to people about genocide like it's a petty, inconvenient wedge issue we have to sidestep for the greater good. fwiw voting isn't wholly irrelevant to me, And Also, i understand being against a system means, for many, abstaining from its approved tools and pouring efforts into direct action. this is not a new approach! greater good is sought and achieved mainly and actively on the ground— not from above. moreover, there is no good greater than opposing and ending genocide for fuck's sake! jesus!

[gloomyteddybear]

dark fantasy concept

introduction

tw/cw: blood, body horror, mild suggestive, fucked up morals and content that comes with the dark fantasy genre, dehumanization(?);

isekai modern-reader into 'ye olde darke-medieval-fantasy' but instead of into the body of a human to re-create the industrial revolution. put them into the body of a very cryptid/monstrous version of a vamp

at first mc starts like rlly feral, jumbly-instinct thoughts. but as they begin to drink more blood they get more grounded. so basically hunger = madness or smth.

there's also gamer/leveling up/system adjacent things. but only for mc. where it basically counts how much kills they have and it rewards them with skills and its also kinda like a countdown to how many liters of blood they have left until they go bonkers.

since it's the medieval times, technology ain't that good, or most of anything for that matter. it's bad.

since mc is a spoiled city mouse, they rlly want to have modern commodities that only rich people at this time gets. like frequent baths, good infrastructure and basic plumbing. fancy shit like that.

they kinda get obsessed w/ it since its literally the only thing that's familiar and comforting to them so they try rlly hard to get it. either by killing rich people and stealing their houses or building their own spooky mansion by becoming a noble or smth.

it's kinda like those tropes of rich pretty vampire that gets absolutely monstrous w/o blood. with the bright eyes and growling with sharp teeth.

mc really hates when they get feral cause it makes them feel like a mindless monster, not unlike those that gets killed by hunters and mercenaries. so they cope by being as 'civil/cultured/refined' as possible.

absolutely disgusted at the idea of drinking blood, so they keep gaslighting themself into thinking it's wine. prolly has tarps or smth on their table and fancy glasses.

they often come off as arrogant or stand-offish in the 'don't touch me with ur dirty hands peasant' way, but in reality they're just... a paranoid myso/germaphobe.

they're really fancy, imagine ye stereotypical vamp aesthetic but in sleeping robes. just, like, a really comfortable vampire.

and they have really terrifying non-romanticized features as a nod to the feral-cryptid side they rlly want to hide. like the trope of vampire having tapedum lucidum  or unique teeth marks (y's in leeches or patterns)---

---not those sharp and needle-like teeth for puncture that will leave delicate dot-scarring, perfect for symbiosis, self-control and donations. but textured teeth that's obvious that there's no way to stop the bleeding even if you wanted to, meant for gouging and death. kinda like bullet shrapnel or twisted daggers.

but it won't be complete w/out character interactions.

U︶꒷ʊ`'꒦

❤︎ mercenary / monster hunter (placeholder: montague )

>kinda like the witcher or mando at first glance. stoic, gruff guy, very tanky but somehow is very stealthy. has a dog trained to smell blood-trails and harmed prey, it is very rotund 'cause of treats. it's name is whinny (a pun, win, whiny, wine(both the drink and the olde english for friend)) like it's owner, the dog find you sus but later becomes attached to you.

>tendencies probably started out in pity, 'damn is this a baby vamp? hopeless. guess i gotta feed them so they get strong enough to be a honorable adversary'. love a guy with a code of honor but dubious morality. but then he got too into it? he finds the fact that a 'monster' has more of a moral compass than him interesting (ur human kill count being lower, disliking torture, etc) lowkey wants to fix you but in a making you better at murder way.

>has a protective dynamic w/ reader but only later on (monty basically wanted them dead lol), brings them lots of prey to feed on (mostly of the bipedal variety, wink wink nudge nudge), if ya refuse to feed there's definitely going to be some tough-love to encourage a healthy diet.

>can be either romantic or familial dynamic. but there's definitively a touch of fear/intimidation on either party.

U︶꒷ʊ`'꒦

❤︎ honored guest / your good friend (placeholder: aldwin )

>is either a himbo or really 'cowardly'. the first guy you ever met that you didn't outright attempt-to or kill. kinda milk-toast at first glance. but the only guy you know can't and won't kill you. you often contemplate turning him into a thrall to keep you company for as long as you 'live', (he isn't that opposed to the idea) but often back out because you still have modern sensibilities, mind control bad.

>you often baby him, both in fear of making him scared of you (the smell is fearousel not actual fear) and also because technically he is one compared to you. that's a grown man, he's not actually scared of your mansion he just wants to be near you 24/7.

>sometimes you use him as a juice box, but only after hosting extravagant dinner parties whenever he visits (which is often, on both), making sure he eats enough to replace the blood and too drunk to feel pain. it was actually his idea, managed to convince himself that the dinner is for replenishing and not because you want to celebrate him. the actual feeding is awkward, you refuse to use your teeth and used one of the dinner knifes.

>friend zone/ one sided. mc is in denial/deeply oblivious. can be read as codependent (emotionally).

U︶꒷ʊ`'꒦

❤︎ the scholar / the monster doctor (placeholder: boris )

>doctor/physician guy. he has glasses :), someone who takes ur ideas seriously, sees you as a kindred soul, both in the studies and about your nature. has a whole jekyll and hyde situation, his jobs is kinda the reason why he goes awoo in the night. he's surprisingly very soft? mild mannered, polite, a proper gentleman. (whinny hates him lmao)

>kinda a goldigger, first approached you with the intent of having you sponsor his 'research' (monster biology) but later decided to have a collab w/ you. you still treat him as kinda of a sugarbaby still, reserving a special place in the manor to serve as his lab and giving him lots of artifacts and equipment. you mostly do it to see if he has a cure for vampirism (aside from a very painful death), but it's nice to see a very chivalrous man get flustered when it's him being spoilt.

>the wolf side is the complete opposite of his demeanor, feral, bloodthirsty and animalistic, it attacks and destroys everything in it's wake, it cannot harm you due to your strength, but the intent is obvious. it's a very harrowing affair filled with angst, (except the part where you're prepping for the full moon and needing to chain him with silver), you know what's its like to lose control and hurt someone innocent so you always try to do damage control for his sake.

>kinda puts you in a pedestal, sees you as someone out of his league.

U︶꒷ʊ`'꒦

❤︎ the oldest servant / elder-vampire butler  (placeholder: aldair )

>kinda older looking in appearance but still pretty-boy enough(? somehow). you didn't turn him, he came with the mansion. he used to be a thrall to someone else but now he's a under your reign. has beef with everyone except monty (prolly teaming to make you less hopeless), specially hates aldwin. he's less alfred, more sebastian/claude or ron molan(TCF).

> it's not exactly known why he's loyal, considering he wanted to kill his previous sire and you don't treat him any better (by your standards, vampire culture is weird). maybe it was the way you just... 'subdued' it and allowed him the pleasure of killing his torturer? causing some weird begrudging-debt turned devotion, that or the fact that you are not a pureblood---or at least act like one.

> kinda thinks ur a spoiled wimp but still spoils you. way too knowledgeable abt your habits, you stretch out a hand and he's already putting a glass of 'wine' between your fingers. you shift in your seat? he's already getting you a footstool (mostly an unfaithful servant or a prisoner), you accidentally tear out someone's throat? he's already collecting their blood in bottles, cleaning the crime scene and creating your alibi.

> you're deff being primed for something. maybe related to the dozens of bottles (and sacrifices) in your cellar.

U︶꒷ʊ`'꒦

[cripple-punk-dad]

i hope you don’t mind this but like i’m 14 (not white, trans, gay, that stuff) and seeing a lot of people talk about how a lot of countries are going far right & extremism is coming back in full swing & no rainbow capitalism, etc is kind of scary. how do i like. not be so scared all the time? i just thought you’d know but if this is a weird ask i totally get it

It is scary. It's downright terrifying, looking out into the world and seeing the pattern of hatred, bigotry, and violence that is feels like its only growing more prevalent. Sometimes it feels like I'm on an island in a huge ocean of people who just want me to die, or change who I am, or both.

Not only that, but being 14 is fucking terrifying. You're not an adult yet, so you can't enact 'real change', you can't even drive (in the U.S) so your transportation is limited. You can't (legally) even get a job or anything. The world has done pretty much everything it can to keep you feeling scared. That's really hard to deal with!

This is usually where I'd say something dramatic, like "don't let them get away with that." But that's easier said than done. And that doesn't really answer your question, either. So instead I'll say this: It's hard to be scared when you 1) know your enemy, and 2) have other things to focus on. I don't mean that you should go debate every conservative you see, or even interact with them. But taking the time to understand the ideologies of fascism, alt-right conservatism, TERFS, white supremacists, etc. not only helps you to see how wrong they are, but also how they always fail and will continue to fail. This is also a good time to research and reinforce your own ideologies and beliefs. No one is immune to propaganda, but it's a lot easier to recognize it if you know what you're looking for.

But don't let that consume you. Remember, these people want you to be scared and isolated. If you spend all your time obsessing over everything wrong with the world (which is very easy with social media and the internet) then the people who want you gone will only grow stronger. So it really is a good idea to fight against that by building up a community of friends, and by building yourself up too. What I mean is this: Go outside, look at the ground, find a weird bug you don't know anything about. Read the obituaries in a newspaper. Go dumpster diving. Learn about something that interests you. Write a letter to somebody and never send it (or do). Pick up a weird hobby. You can just start gluing shit together, no one is gonna stop you, there are a lot less rules than you think.

But above all, remember that while history is full of empires collapsing, and wars, and horrors beyond imagination. The fall of Rome didn't happen overnight, it happened over centuries. But even in the midst of all that, people still made art, and had families, and not only survived, but lived fulfilling lives. I promise that you can and will be able to do that too. The sun will continue to shine, the grass will continue to grow, and the Earth will keep on spinning.

[oceansblvds]

around the fur ; aegon targaryen

pairing ; aegon targaryen ii x reader

words ; 2k ish

about ; an in depth understanding into the relationship between you and aegon targaryen. you had known each other since you were children; you wanted each other, lusted for one another . . . a tumultuous pattern that went around and around like a wheel.

warning(s) ; very little fluff, swearing, sexual themes, mentions of smut but not explicit smut?, it's not yandere but it's definitely not a healthy relationship, angst?, targaryen realness, my professor says i write too many words so that's a warning in itself.

authors note ; okay okay so i kinda wrote this as more of a word dump? i'm quite obsessed with aegon right now and definitely taking requests for aegon and aemond and possibly other hotd characters!

The confines of the Red Keep was something that you had grown accustomed to whilst growing up. You were soon coming to learn every staircase, where to find the best view of the sky at night, where to go when you wanted to be alone . . . everything. A part of that was of your own curiosity, though most of it had to do with your longtime childhood friend — Aegon Targaryen.

"My father will have me hanged if I am late for dinner again, Aegon," You whined, hands gripping your skirts as the two of you ran through the gardens. The hour was growing late, sun setting in pale hues of pinks and oranges. That was the sign that you should return to your chambers and wait for your father to come join you, or the other way around. But lately you had forgotten the time, leading to your father's angered words.

He was a lesser lord, but a lord nonetheless, and your home was originally in the southwest part of Westeros near Highgarden. Though, your father often was demanded at court, and it became easier to just move there for the time being. You couldn't remember much of your childhood before Kings Landing, this was your home.

"You will be back in time for supper, I promise," Aegon said, not even glancing in your direction as he slowed down. The two of you were far enough away from the keep that you knew he was giving false hope, but you believed him anyways. He was your best friend, the closest person you had here except for Helaena and sometimes Daeron, but both siblings tended to want alone time. Aegon was always the person you went to, he would say yes to playing no matter what. "Besides, if he eats without you, I can ask for something to be brought up to your chambers."

"I can do that myself," You said, laughing at him thinking that you could be so helpless.

Aegon stopped in his tracks, finally turning to look at you. "But, I would want to."

You smiled, a pale blush coming to your cheeks. You were both only one and two, the world was still so new. Things were bright and shiny, a world that was filled with many wondrous things for you to see. You didn't understand concepts like love, only that it was what others were supposed to have for their spouses.

You walked up closer to him now, able to see his face painted with the colors of the sunset. You quite liked the lighting like this, you thought to yourself, it made Aegon's pale hair have a glow, accenting his pale violet eyes. He wasn't quite taller than you, but he was always very quick to saying he would grow to be as tall as his father someday. You chose not to mention it, only granting him another smile and pressing your ankles off the ground, reaching to give a quick peck on his cheek.

Before he could say anything, you turned on your heel and made a beeline for the gates. You had to get to dinner, after all.

That was where it all started.

You were older now, one and seven, and it had been somewhat of an eventful year. You were to think about marrying now, multiple lords coming to your father and mother with hopes that they would grant your hand. They were stalling, almost as if they were keeping inventory of all the men that wanted you. It made you sick to your stomach, especially when your head and heart led you elsewhere.

You could swear he was doing it to you on purpose. The sickly sweet spell that Aegon had put you under hadn't let up, relentlessly bringing you back to him whenever you attempted to do otherwise.

His silver locks had grown out into a wavy pattern that you found yourself staring at, wondering what it felt like to run your hands through it. Hands gripped firmly on the gauntlet, which kissed his lips every time he yearned for a sip of the honeyed wine he had sent up for the two of you. It was a dreary day outside, meaning that your usual escapades would have to resume indoors. There wasn't much to do, and you were aware he was trying to get away from his mother's meddling. You watched, almost a little too intently, at the way his tongue pressed in between his teeth as he tasted the fine wine, licked it from his lips and set the gauntlet down, returning to laying down on the cushion between you and him.

In order to try and avoid watching his every move, which you found yourself attempting to do a lot these days, you fancied yourself a book. It was something about the War on Dorne, how the Targaryen's had failed to conquer the land of the south. To be truthful, you were trying your hardest to pay attention, but you couldn't. He was doing something to you.

"Are you okay?" Aegon asked, snapping you out of your thoughts and bringing you to reality once again. His eyes were focused on you, his vision looking upside down as he stayed laying down on the cushion.

Your eyes narrowed. "Yes?"

"You've been staring," He stated bluntly, seemingly unbothered as he reached to take another sip of his wine. This time, however, he stayed upright, bringing his attention to you. His arms held himself up, turning his body to face you as he said, "You do that a lot."

"No I don't," You said, your first instinct to grow defensive.

Instead of being defensive back, Aegon only laughed, an almost comical grin taking over his face. Your eyebrow rose, wondering what in the seven hells he was thinking. Like Aegon did every day, he spoke bluntly. "Have you ever been kissed?" Almost as if he was mocking you.

The question threw you off guard, unable to give him an answer right away. You were hesitant to shake your head, because the answer was no, you hadn't been kissed. While it was normal for Aegon to go about and do what he wanted with various women (something that you spent a considerable time worrying about as of late), you were not allowed to do such things. You were meant to stay as pure as you could, virginal, untouched. Of course you hadn't been kissed, he should know that, but instead he held the same stupid quizzical look on his face.

"No," You confessed, closing the book in your lap. "Would you like to elaborate as to why you felt the need to ask?"

Aegon leaned forward and kissed you. His scent enveloped you as much as his body did, it was such a brash action that you were unaware if you were dreaming or this was real life. After a few moments passed, his lips still working against yours, slowly, as if he was trying to teach you the motion, you were sure this was real life.

You didn't stop him.

His hands gripped your sides, sending sparks of electricity in their wake as he touched you there, and there, and there. His kisses were all consuming, leaving you entrenched in the feeling of only him, only Aegon. If you were to pull away, he would only pull you closer, a constant push and pull, both of you wanting for something that seemingly was unattainable. Neither of you wanted to stop.

A wave of satisfaction spilled forward in your soul, your heart intertwining into his with every touch, every sigh that passed your parted lips. At some point his kiss broke and he sent his mouth going lower and lower, against the soft skin of your collarbone, casually nipping at the skin that was exposed.

You wondered how you got here, pressed into the darkened corner of a hallway, on the outskirts of the Red Keep, hoping that no one would pass by and witness the outright sinful actions that you were partaking in. It wasn't the first time, and it surely wouldn't be the last. You learned quickly that once Aegon set his eyes on something, he wouldn't let it out of his sight until he had it. And when he looked at you, you supposed he saw a challenge. You were so virtuous, so pure, innocent, something fragile that he felt the need to break. He felt the need to take.

And you let him, with not many thoughts opposed. Ever since he had kissed you, all you could think about was the next time that you would be kissed. It was strange at first, meeting with him and wondering if he had forgotten what had happened, or it wouldn't happen again. But it did, it happened many times that you had to change locations. After all, who would marry you if you were caught?

You let out a breathy sigh, closing your eyes and thrusting your head back, allowing for him to have more access to your neck. As you opened your eyes, the soft dim light of the sun beginning the set blinded you, mixing with the embellished strands of his hair. He came up to face you, nipping at your lips, violet eyes staring intently into your own. It was his way of asking if you were okay, even though he knew the answer.

"What is it?" You asked, your hand brushing against his cheek.

He shook his head, it wasn't important. Instead his hands reached under the skirts of your dress, skin grazing against the soft skin of your thigh. You gasped, rather loudly, making him capture your lips in another kiss to silence you.

His kisses were soft despite his tough exterior, but they were not without intention. Every time his lips made contact with a piece of your skin you could feel his want, his desire, like he couldn’t get enough of you no matter how hard he tried. It was like you were his church and he was on his knees, praying for forgiveness for his sins, praying to your body that he worshipped unlike all the faceless gods in the world. Your hands collided with his hair, intertwining the soft locks of silver and pulling on it, pulling him closer.

Eventually more clothes came off, more skin against skin. He found solace again in your tiny sighs and moans that left your lips when he kissed there and there . . . and especially there.

You found yourself lost in it, lost in the fire that he created around you. You were certain that you were always meant to burn together. To love him was to love the hot embers of a forest fire, pressing your hands farther and farther into the flames no matter how much your body screamed to let go. It was all consuming, a love that suffocated you like smoke and left you burning for days. He was always burning, and sometimes you wondered if you just got caught up in the flames.

[einsatzzz]

Hiiii Ein! Hope the pain has lessened, huuno! For everyone: "Does your OC love anyone? (romantic)",  Kurumi: "Who would your OC say is their best friend?", Kana: "Which canon character respects your OC most? What gained that respect?" And Yui: "Did your OC bear witness to anyone’s full character arc?" Sorry for sending so many djdjd take your time!!

Nimaaaa!!! Thank you!!! I was gone for a bit so I couldn't answer this sooner, but the pain has lessened a good amount during that time 🥰🥰✨ Please don't say sorry for sending asks, I love receiving them, it gives me a topic to yap about for my ocs dskjghdvhs I just get bad at answering them when my health spirals down 😆😆

Here's a sketch inspired from this ask, yipeeee kana triooo

For everyone: "Does your OC love anyone? (romantic)"

Ooohh!! 👀✨ I love this question, very juicy hahaha 🤣💕 This would depend on which point of the story they are, but the trio will eventually love someone to some romantic extent (at least).

For Kurumi, that's a big YES, as she's quite the hopeless romantic! She loves shoujosei series(or just the romance genre in general) and dreams a lot of being in a relationship like the lead couples there. Add to that her cuteness aggression, it's quite inevitable that she gets crushes of varying degrees on quite a good amount of characters 😆🫶✨ (examples are Tsuna, Kyoko, Haru, Chrome & Enma - if you feel like there's a pattern then yes sjdfbhjsdv). Of course, a simple crush is different from really falling deep in love with someone, but it's a good start. Her only problem is that she can't commit and go through with it (like confessing, etc). I don't know if you know already, but if you see my previous ship arts with her, maybe you already know who she does fall in love with lol

😆👉🐟

For Kana, it's a vague/complicated type of love that can be romantic so I guess that's a "yes"??? Anyway, getting it to even develop slightly towards that direction is technically not impossible, the chance is non-zero, but it's gonna take...A LOT of time, patience, persistence, understanding & survival skills (and acceptance that u can't ever fix her lmao). She already has a ridiculous amount of issues caused by her love(/obsession?) on the platonic side of things ngl mxhdkbddmdn

For Yui, that's a HELL YEAH! Among the trio, he's the only one with dating experience but he really can't say he loved the people he dated romantically. It's more of trial and error run for him. Fortunately for him, he does eventually find someone he likes a lot! I don't think I mentioned this before unlike for the other twins, so I'll put it here lol The person he ends up falling for is Hiyori (Oniyanagi 10th Gen Sun Guardian).

Kurumi: "Who would your OC say is their best friend?"

Kurumi's bestest friends in the whole world are definitely Kana and Yui! 🥰💖✨ They've been through a lot and are very much ride-or-die. Yui is Kurumi's very first friend. They initially became friends out of obligation and loneliness, but after some rough events here and there, it became a genuine friendship. He's stuck with her/supported her during difficult times in their childhood and Kurumi will always appreciate him for that.

Then there's Kana to Kurumi. Where do I even begin? That's a whole rabbit hole right there. They're platonic soulmates, a set package. Do not separate OR ELSE. 👁️👄👁️

Kana: "Which canon character respects your OC most? What gained that respect?"

Oh, from the top of my head, that would be Hibari. I'll just make separate post if I can think of another canon character who can dethrone him in this lmao His respect for her is based on the respect that he would have for strong and worthy opponents. Kind of similar to Reborn? But more chase-able/bully-able (since she's a fellow student, their paths would cross more often).

It all started when Kana attacked and tried to kill him this one time to take over the school (they went ham at that time, Reborn just stopped them). This is what happens when you think murder is always the answer to your problems. You get some guy, with a passion of at least 180 hardcore soulslike game players, who wants to keep on retrying that boss fight @ you.

Yui: "Did your OC bear witness to anyone’s full character arc?"

Yui doesn't really like being in the spotlight. He's not even that fond of having the right-hand man role designated to him and the "formal" responsibilities that come with it (this is why Gokudera criticizes him often). But one of the main reasons he still stuck to this role is so that he can get to watch over the twins in his own way.

He did bear witness to a good amount of Kana's character arc, but since we're talking from start to finish of someone's character arc, then that would be for Kurumi's. No matter what happens, whether this bestfriend of his grows into a fine person or falls into ruins, he will be there to witness it all 🙂

[autisticlancemcclain]

thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

[f1mc]

Ajax Petropolus

Random head cannons

Also this is one of my first times writing so like if you want more please tell me

Ajax is definitely a friends to lovers troupe

You would start off in the same friend group and things would progress from there.

He would start getting really nervous around you and start stuttering when he would speak to you.

Xavier would be constantly making fun of him for his little (massive) crush on you, and would eventually give him advice on how to ask you out, which he would completely mess up

"umm hi y/n", "hey Ajax how are you", "good" que awkward silence "do you need something", "ohh, ya, yes yes I do, I need to a-ask you something", "OK", "Do-o you want to hang out sometime", "ya sure just text me when"

This boy would be obsessed with your hair. He would be playing with it constantly, twirling it, attempting to braid it or giving you a head message.

"y/n please can you teach me to braid your hair"

"Ajax stop touching my hair your gonna make it greasy" "but y/n it's so soft"

Physical touch is definitely his love language. He finds it difficult to keep eye contact with you but whenever he can he has some sort of physical contact with you, whether it would be his hand interwined with yours, his head resting on your shoulder or a hand on your leg.

If he is anyways taller than you 100% would kiss your forehead. Walking past each other - a kiss on the forehead. Leaving you after he walked you to class-forehead kiss. Greeting you - forehead kiss. Basically any chance he gets he will give you a forehead kiss.

Since he is a gorgan he is absolutely terrified of stoning you, if he ever feels his hat slipping while around you he immediately tugs it down. Although you constantly reassure him that you don't care he's still extremely worried that it'll happen. He's worst fear is that he'll accidentally hurt you.

Speaking of getting stoned, that boy is constantly high and you join him (of course if your comfortable with drugs), sometimes you, ajax, xavier and a few of your other friends would all go to one of your rooms to smoke together but you and ajax also do it when it's just the two of you. You sneak out of your room and meet him near the forest, you'd sit down and he would roll for both of ye (he definitely has more experience) and you two would smoke.

Being high with him is the funniest , you'd go from having serious deep conversations "y/n what do you think happens after we die" to the most randomise things "if you think about it taxes are just subscription fees"

His favourite date nights are when you two are watching a movie together. The minute he opens the door and sees you standing there in comfortable clothes he's grinning ear to ear just staring at you, "Ajax let me in someone will see me quick" "ohhhh ya, shit, quick get in". You two would be cuddled up together on his bed, limbs intertwined, with his laptop playing a random movie. You're probably not even paying attention to the movie, drawing random patterns on Ajax's chest. It's moments like these where you think to yourself I love this boy.

[flickersprout]

Fic idea I will never write: the Federation realizes q!Cellbit is autistic WAY before he himself does. No wait hear me out here--

I don't actually headcanon q!Cellbit as autistic, honestly; a man can be Like That and still allistic and I love him for that. HOWEVER it's suuuch an easy hc. and people who hc that are so right, and i support them (just for the record I am autistic). So imagine:

Cellbit has NO IDEA he's autistic. A) I think he would explode if he seriously tried to introspect for even 5 minutes. B) He's so insistent on himself being the villain that he has an established pattern of ignoring or discounting any more sympathetic ideas about his backstory or motivations (see: him rejected the idea of his and Bagi's shared childhood). Do you seriously think he would consider the possibility that his weak empathy and obsession with mysteries over most of his friends and social struggles come from something other than "yeah I'm a soulless monster"? No. No he would not.

But the Fed is stalking and analyzing everyone! And canonically has mental health professionals onsite! So the Federation one day realizes: hey, this guy has autism. we've been manipulating him wrong this whole time and making everything harder for ourselves.

Cellbit, meanwhile is absolutely baffled by the sudden switch in tactics from the Fed. Out of nowhere they're no longer trying to stop him from solving mysteries, they're throwing random red herring puzzles at him. He's still getting threatened a decent amount, but instead of offering safety or items or "normal" things when the Fed is trying to make a deal, he is Exclusively getting offered food and mystery-related things. It seems like every Fed worker suddenly figured out that holding meetings in rooms with fans and fluorescent lights really fucks him up and he can't pay as much attention. Cucurucho keeps asking him his opinions on textures. It's bizarre, blatant manipulation and honestly it's a lot harder to resist than what they were doing before.

Idk where I'd go with the fic after that--maybe Cellbit finds Federation files on people, notices that his own has a whole page dedicated to the diagnosis and his symptoms and what he likes/hates for manipulation purposes, and freaks out about it? Maybe the rest of the island also notices that something's changed with how the Fed treats Cellbit and gets protective? Idk, all I've got is how fucking funny I think this situation could be

[forflightlessbirds]

liveblogging tmagp 22 except it's really incoherent

INTRO BABY I MISSED TOU

grrrrr alex j newall ily

mixed signals ooohhh

29 minute episode oouhh

IT STATETRD

GWEN BACK. GWEB BWEGGN BACK.

"watching figure you mentioned" NO. STOP STOP SHRJEIF SYOP NDOKS

"i know what you're doing." 2hat

LENA THREATENING. OH LORD. i don't liek womrn but for her

that thing was an EXTERNAL???

DEMOTION?????????? WHATSTT.

don't quit bbg

she didn't!!!!

yeaaah gwen stop being unstable GWEN

stop theyre so. ugh i hate them all

CASEMENT STARETD

it's a lteer???

AUGUSTUS I MISSED YOUUUUUUU

experimentation??

oh no. experiments on thibgs

alarmign results???

EXPERIEMNYS ON PEOPLE??????? STOP THIS.

i must say i don't like this

charts??! brain charts????

using silver for conductivity... ooooyh

you did what with the wires

erratic results??

okay the double coil makes sensw

PHOTO

the work of whom.

REPUTATION???

no no not intensive

he had a RIGHT to be hesitant.

CONSTANTINE

I'M WHAY NOW HE DID WHAT

oh no i don't like this

2 seperate animals in one bofy.. where gave i heard that before.

i can see where this is going oh no oh lord

QUESTIONS OF THE SELF.

as you sjoild

data reviewing.. yaaay

me too bae

OCEAN. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO

RADIO SIGNALS AND OCWANS OG FUCKS SAKES

these two things would never meet

okay fun science

deconstructed them all and did what with then.

WHAT WAS THE DEISGB

oh no no no plumbing

questions of the self part 2: electric boogaloo

TICKING.

"imagine yourself." i don't inow

i kind of love tmagp's more intimate feeling to it. it feels less detached than tma an d i love it

UNCHARACTERISTIC WHIMSY

oh no he's sending

imagine yourself

dead. oh no

yaaaayy activity

TIDAL WAVE IF SIGNAL

i loeeeveee

oh no wait actually this seems Dangerous

FUCK. NO. THERE WILL BE A REPLY????

SMOKE

what on EARTH happened

ursula are you oajy

ursula. what is happening

is he okay?? is she okay???? what's happening

hear WHAT.

be patient with your wife fuckass

OH NO THE PATIENT

oh my lord????

good lord. arteries.

SCREAMING

tetanus comparison

rictus.

his tongue.

crescendo.

cracking.

background music i love it

WHAT.

they severed the sense of self.

shiiiiiit.

IT'S ON THE FLOOR

oh he's dead

"you could not hear it?" what.

"just another case of unfortunate frontier science" die

what did you find. this better have been worth it

a pattern you say

OH SHIT WHAT DID HE REALISW

there's no misfile.

FINGERPRINTS PROVE IT

what did you understand??

"she was always a better communicator than i" yeah makes sense babe

what had she HEARD.

oh my god

oh holy shit

holy shit

we are.

i am here.

here alone

we are i alone

all alone

so alone together

together alone

i think we get the message

he's alone

help

help we us

alone

help out

OUT????

WAIT.

i'm connecting threads.

i don't know what they are but i'm connecting them

violence is discovery of life or something idk man

yeah you delay those findings babygirl

robot voice again

WAIT. I KNOW THAT NAME

casement ends.

ALICE AND SAM

OH SHIT HE KNOWS

i hate her and him and UGH

he knowszs

alice you're really in it now

okay sam you're being a bit mean

but alice is also being a little obsessive

alice is losing all her friends around her.

she's just like me fr

"i just thought that you'd be different. that you might actually listen to me" sobbing

why is she still here. good point.

it's easy money??

oh lord she's me

"we could-" alice honey we all know you're not over him

ohhhh theyr3 so complex ily

OOH WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW

sam and celia oooh

i can't hear a word they're saying actually

SHE CAN EITHER GET OVER IT OR GET LOST??? OUCH.

celia stop encouraging ot. this isn't healthy celia

names??

JON AND MARIOGIB

JMART.

J. MART. MENTION. WHAT. THE.

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOF OGG MY GOFK THEYRU BACK TEHEY RYHD WHAT TTAHT WEHAT DOES YHDI MEAN

EPISOODE ENFS

FUCK

[the-phantom-author]

Hello it is once again the anon that does not shut the fuck up about popstar!r BUT IN MY DEFENCE…you did this to me.

OKAY ANYWAY I'm obsessed with an idea of them meeting for the first being something so incredibly casual, like they share a trainer or something and shes just like Holy shit show is this hot ass skyscraper is standing in front of me-WTF is that hasan piker?!?

And he's just like hi 🙂 🤚

And maybe they talk abit and find out they have similar interests and continuing going with the she fell first but he fell harder trope she's just like nope he's cute but it would be unrealistic for us to date we have completely different lifestyles and careers and yet still somehow they end up chatting for longer and swapping numbers, making plans etc.

And maybe when she's finally come to turns and let her emotions settle and accepted that they are going to be platonic he starts to realize his feeling for her

I can see first meeting being super casual, maybe not a shared trainer, because Hasan trainer is scary, but perhaps a mutual friend. Like you hanging at their place and Hasan needs to stop to pick up something, so the two of you start a conversation while your mutual friend is getting whatever it is for Hasan.

I personally still am in love with their first long long conversation being on stream. There something about the setting where you're still a bit on your toes and defensive because when was the last time an older guy took you and your opinions seriously, but overtime him breaking down you walls. And it all being caught on camera.

You fall almost instantly, the next day he is on your mind, but you did get a way to communicate with him. You have to keep reminding yourself about how busy you are, how long your no around when you tour, not to mention your team is always reminding you how much of a bit good ideas it is to be to publicly involved with him is.

And he's also on that same thought pattern, but he's not even letting himself consider any kind of romantic relationship with you at first. He's like "Yeah, she'd be a cool friend to have around, but we would ever see or talk each other, with the ways our schedules are." But you still make it work, you're almost always at one of your places when your in state, and he's always inviting you to group dinners with his friends, and suddenly he's like "shit, I love her, I really really love her."

[canmom]

brain operating notes

the thing with ADHD is that it's super paradoxical. I've spent the last 72 hours or so doing almost nothing but making minute tweaks to this fansub, stuff like hand tracking signs in perspective at 800% zoom. it's the 'hyperfocus', and it can feel like a superpower. only the thing is I have no control over when it kicks in and what it chooses to focus on.

I had work to be done on Friday, work I enjoy and is novel and interesting, but this fansub project just jumped into my brain and took over the wheel and said 'you will not do anything else until this is finished'.

this is why the notion of 'executive function' is useful. I think of it like a unifying thing required to both get myself to do a thing that is not particularly novel or engaging in this moment, and to stop myself doing a thing that engages the hyperfocus because I have to eat or whatever. this feels like a finite resource, that gradually replenishes over time.

of course we're all in metaphor here. I don't actually think there's a finite reserve of some substance that I can use to get me to do things that aren't immediately stimulating. but being equipped with this metaphor lets me think of it like... ok, I will let my brain just do its thing and ride the rollercoaster now, so that I can have the wherewithal to do (difficult but important thing) down the line. or, I've been really pushing myself to do stuff recently, I need to take some time to recover the reserves. how good is this model? i'm not sure. probably not great, but it is a model.

anyway things that trigger hyperfocus are a bit arbitrary but common features tend to be...

novel: a thing that I haven't done before is intrinsically exciting - as long as I have some idea of how to get going. in my previous job I'd find excuses to do stuff like 'animate in Blender' or 'hack the graph drawing tool' just to add a bit of spice to rote tasks. thankfully my current job is full of new exciting things.

a steady drip feed of small successes: a big, daunting task is hard to get started on. something that has a clear avenue for recognisable, steady progress is a lot more manageable. 'write the animation controller' is unclear. 'make another animation' feels like progress, and I know where I'm at with it, so I will tend to choose that one given the option.

urgent: if the deadline is imminent and there really is no other option but to crack on with it, the anxiety gives a force multiplier on executive function. which results in a lot of procrastination leading up to mad last minute crunch. it's a pattern that I hate, not least because it's hard to say how long anything will actually take, but is hard to shake.

social: if it is for the benefit of a friend, or I get to show off a bit, it is way easier to get going with it. is it because I am kinda lonely and any time someone wants to spend time with me it feels like I dare not refuse because who knows when they will again? is it because I love to be praised for doing an impressive thing? idk maybe. however this is double-edged because if I feel I'm making something unimpressive I will be motivated to try and make it bigger and more complex, dragging things out, which might lead to not finishing the thing at all.

you can probably kind of see how computer games are a bit of a cognitohazard. especially open-ended games that don't have a finite built-in endpoint. I've gotten better at managing that now.

there are degrees of hyperfocus. there is the maxed out 'I will not eat or sleep until I finish this' mode. there is also the 'I have a new obsession' mode, which is a bit less intense.

the other thing with hyperfocus is that it is time-limited. at some point you just burn out on it and after that it's really hard to jump back into a thing. the unfinished projects on my hard drive are in most cases things I went nuts over for a few weeks and then dropped like a hot stone. this sucks because making anything worthwhile requires sustained effort over a long period.

I've been trying meds but so far no luck. they've currently got me off the meds taking baseline measurements while they figure out what to try next. though apparently the dose of dexamfetamine they had me on is like... so low that it's not surprising I didn't feel it.

gonna have to ask them about it next time I see them. because right now this whole thing feels like a bit of a mean joke. I'm staying in London for the sake of meds that could help, because it would take upwards of a year to get into another clinic, but what's the point if they're not even giving the meds a real shot?

but if there is any chance I can get working meds, I've got to try for it, because I don't think I'll ever achieve much of anything within the limitations of adhd, at least not without finding some new mechanisms to keep me on track. (though 'if I don't do this I might lose my job/the game won't be as good as it could be' works a bit as an extrinsic motivator)

[beecreeper]

what does briar think of auntie ethel? do they get along or is it sort of a "stop cramping my style" situation. what do you think auntie ethel's most vicious mockery for the lot of the fellas would be

Sorry for the last response! I had to chew on those vicious mockery lines for a while. Long answer under the cut!

Briar is mad as hell at Ethel for taking her eye and not fixing the tadpole thing. She went to Ethel pretty late, after talking to Halsin about the tadpoles but before defeating the goblins. She kinda went into denial when Halsin said that their tadpoles were special and not removeable without traveling to Moonrise, so she convinced the party to go try out that weird old lady they had talked to earlier. The whole party got progressively more uncomfortable as it became PAINFULLY OBVIOUS that Ethel was a hag and not to be trusted, but Briar kept dragging them along anyway because she was myopically obsessed with getting her tadpole out. She took the Ethel’s deal while the rest of the party was yelling “GIRL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???” Afterwards Briar was PISSED and wanted to track Ethel down and FORCE her to take the tadpole out, but she (read: me the player) was unable to find the entrance to Ethel’s lair and also all her companions wanted to have a stern talk with her about why she’s behaving like a crazy person (leading to them forcing her to admit her memory loss that she’d been keeping secret up to that point). But yeah anyway, they didn’t have any other interactions beyond that which is honestly a shame but that’s how it rolled.

As for the vicious mockery:

Briar – gonna take shots at her memory loss mostly, since that is by far the thing that makes her feel the most vulnerable and weak.

“I got a good look at that empty skull of yours when I took yer eye. Want a few new holes to match?”

“You thinking gutting folks is gonna tell you who you are? You must be dumber than you look.”

(If encountered in Act 3) “It must have been so easy to spill the brains from that soft head of yours”

Molli – there’s a lot of lines in game already that would work really well for Molli also (the line for Astarion about “liking being leashed” is particularly applicable). The general pattern would be lines that allude to her being a slave, “belonging” there, or enjoying it.

“Don’t worry petal. I’ll get you chained up again soon enough, where you belong.”

“You call that horrid screeching ‘music’? It’s no wonder someone was so eager to gag you.”

(If she’s romancing Astarion) “A slave for a slave? You really are pathetic.”

Ferox – Lines for Ferox are gonna attack all the worries he has about his bloodlust, his broken oath, and his missing past. Honestly, the in game line “All that bloodlust! A little tap and I bet you wouldn't know friend from foe!” is something what would hit him HARD.

“Bones, oaths, mirrors – is there anything you don’t break?”

“Play the hero all you want, it won’t wash all that blood off of your hands”

“Do you even know how many people you’ve slaughtered, you braindead butcher?”

Myrala – The easy joke is to make fun of her hand, but the ones that would really hit her are about being useless or wasting her “redemption”

“You’re no better than the slum rat you started as.”

“How does someone manage to work so hard to do nothing?”

“Need a hand, underscum?”

Poppy – the thing Poppy feels worst about it leaving her parents behind and how she never gets to *really* connect with people because she feels like she *has* to keep moving.

“You half breed mongrel. You don’t belong anywhere, do you?”

“I’m gonna send you back to yer mama in pieces, half pint”

“Maybe you’ll finally stay put if I put you in the ground.”

[nicromancytarot]

thank you for explaining in such detail!

my problem is i cant seem to let go of this one kpop idol, ik its so unrealistic that we would ever date and i bitterly regret not doing something cool like music before the internet came about its been an interest of mine for pretty much over a decade and due to unhelpful situations i never stuck to anything or not being sure of what i wanted to do. my other issue there is a bit of an age gap, not by a much but its like i cannot stop thinking of them, even if there r other celebs i could be obsessing about i still always seem to go back to this one idol in particular even if theres dozens of other idols i could crush on or theres other groups i might follow it still seems ro lead me back to this one idol specifically and its very annoying. i cannot even take a break from liking him its constant every other day he pops in my head like a fucking lightbulb and i immediately then regret not doing something really cool with my life bc then maybe id have small chance of meeting him at least but alas never going to happen

i have only dreamt of them once or twice i forget the exact amount yet that was only after i had watched a reading for them so that was bizzarre bc a) i dont dream much, b) if i do they usually dont make much sense anyway and c) i have yet to have any dreams of kpop idols full stop like askde from one other idol i have barely had any dreams feature idols except for this one guy, twice, i knew it was him right off the bat

my other issue is any other celeb i have ever liked recently have been of similar water sign to this idol almost like a weird pattern. i have been told my fs is footballer (premier league? i presume could be wrong theres other leagues too and i have been to several matches albiet not recently) but i dont know how much to believe in it, i asked someone else they said it was soulmate connection, i asked someone else once again they said i had seen them but not met them and they didnt think much of me

yet i keep going back to this other kpop idol all the damned time i swear im not their fs and im not connected to them in any way again i dont think anyone would bother dating me at this age with my lack of dating experience might not interest anyone and tbqfh im not fussed if i dont date but im still curious as to who they are or if id truly love them but at the samr time again i dont particularly want to be so delulu about it and be like oh my god i have to date them i need a relationship and be so desperate about it i think that would be off putting if it was forced like that

sorry for my rambling but it was such an interesting topic that i hope u dont mind me sharing my experiences so far with tarot and lately an interest in divination

I like to think that any connection we make whether it be through the internet or in person, there is always a reason for it, this person could be the gateway to you understanding how you’d like to be treated in the future by your next partners and future spouse. It’s definitely normal to have a crush on a celebrity so don’t feel bad about that, you’ll definitely meet your future spouse soon enough with the right decisions and choices, by that point you’ll hopefully be able to let go of this idol that you feel so much for.

Perhaps they were connected to you in a past life and that’s why they still serve such a purpose in your life now.

My future spouse and I served a few lives together where we were all different things, going from soulmate friends in one, to absolute worst enemies in the next, and then owing our lives to each other in the one after that. I’m not quite too sure of his purpose in my life this time around, I assume this is my last life so it would make sense to connect with him one last time in the physical.

You may find that this idol is someone who shapes you to be the person that you want to be, perhaps he will push you to get back into music, I’m also working on becoming a musician lmao, that’s how my future spouse and I shall meet (which makes almost no sense since he pretty much will be out of the influencing circle by then, but whatever fate wants I suppose) He may not be there for you to be romantically involved with, but his presence could cause you to try and make something out of those discarded dreams of yours, which could eventually bring you to be with your future spouse.

[arsenussy]

Yes, i'm gonna have to ask for you to pretty please infodump about your persona 5 oc cause i'm obsessed-he's so freaking awesome and your artstyle is gorgeous i just have to know more <3

AAAAAA omg thank you so much!!!!! sorry it's taken me so long, life and all that

okay so. i can't remember what all i have said about him so, you get everything. his name is Akabane Haruto (last, first) (or as my phone wants to keep autocorrecting to, Alabama Naruto) and they’re a 3rd year at Shujin. his persona is Mercutio, and his arcana is The Vagabond which i just sorta made up cause why not

this is long i’m putting the rest under a break

as for more specific and personal info; its kinda depressing but i promise it gets better his whole character is built around themes of isolation, feeling directionless, lack of sense of center or even self, the feeling that you're just kinda floating through life with no substance or impact. existing without interacting a constant gnawing whole where "you" are meant to be inside Haruto wasn't always so husk-like though, of course he was actually a very loud energetic colorful kid he was a lot and they got a lot of flak for their... general manner of existing. too loud, too hyper, too odd, too different, too much so they pretty quickly learned to just stop being that way. kinda turn everything off and he became this reflective thing that would latch onto the expectations of others and spit it back out slowly losing touch with any personality he once had they were pretty popular for a while. kinda. hopped between friend groups, seeming to fit in just about anywhere. but it all had no substance. they were connections but no real relationships. so he formed this pattern of making "friends" and like joining groups and then ghosting seemingly randomly and moving on to the next group leaving everything behind in the dust. scared of getting too close where people may see how nothing he actually is inside and it didn't take long for his peers to recognize the pattern so they got a reputation for being just this super wishy washy ingenuine dude that will lead people on but doesn't actually give a shit so Haruto stops doing that all together and just. kinda keeps to himself. goes full loner mode. and he feels like just a warm body in a room. and he truly feels like theres nothing to him. no substance or skill or talent or unique traits or any traits really he is boring and he is empty and thats just how his life will be. even though in reality they're really just so repressed they don't even REALIZE they are. and then his arc would be about like. reconnecting with who he actually is. finding himself, who they once were, who they've become. finding a center, or at least a path to it. being their own person after trying to be as palatable as possible for so long. making friends. also with other weirdos where he can just. BE. and eventually the world will gain saturation again . which is why the whole metaverse outfit is so striking i think its an incredibly colorful and extravagant get-up. a macaw inspires venetian carnival costume. nothing about that is bland or empty or muted. its bold and bright and in your face and EXTRA and thats who Haruto IS he's just FORGOTTEN and the macaw aspect also still ties in with his tendency to just sorta mirror others. parrot stuff. cause that is still also a facet of Haruto and then the persona mercutio, the character from romeo and juilet (it's been a while since ive dived into romeo and juliet bare with me) he's outside of the two main houses in the story which allows him to mingle and wander. he's just got so much PERSONALITY, y'know? his emotions are one of the things that drives the plot. he's confident and unafraid to just go and let his voice and opinions and personality be heard for LENGTHS of time

i probably have more info and fun facts and whatnot hiding somewhere in my brain, but alas it is almost midnight and i can no longer think so i will leave it at this for now