#i was thinking how ursula was ariel's aunt

[tiodolma]

i can't believe that Kilgharrah and Gaius were technically Merlin's uncles on both his Father's and Mother's sides.

[ha1taniwh0re]

The 8th Princess of Sea

Chapter 3

I hid behind a rock so I can see what will happen. I couldn't hear good but as i heard a girl wants to have a better life and he wants something in return. Good mind. When they finished there deal with just a blink they disappeared. I started looking for them but couldn't find them.

"Hi there" a high voice said.

I looked up and saw Rumpelstiltskin standing on rock and looking at me. I blushed a little and got away from rock and looked at him with shy eyes.

"Not very talkative as I can see"  he said.

"What are you doing in water on night??" He asked.

I showed him my tail and he just smirked.

"Oh a mermaid I see".

He looked at me carefully, like he was studying me. His eyes met my necklace, it had pink shell and pink pearl inside.

"Pink pearl? Colour pearls only have royal mermaids. Who are you???"

"Mmy ...naame ..iis.. Koko" I said.

"Are you scared of me??" He asked

I nodded as no. He got a little bit confused.

"How??"

"I like you... Your story is interesting" I said and he looked at me shocked.

"How do you know my story, princess??"

I dressed myself and left my room immediately. I rushed over to a Mr. Gold's shop because Im still confused how he left my room this morning. I got inside and saw him standing on the other side of counter.

"To be honest I love more a view of your boobs when you don't have anything covering them, my dear" he said not looking up.

"How tf did you leave my room this morning?! You couldn't jump out of the window because you walk with fucking cane" I asked still shocked.

He looked at me now and started walking towards me. When he got a few centimeters away from me  he pulled me by waist to get closer to him. Our lips almost met again.

"It's a secret dear, but you don't have to worry the only thing that is good is that your manager didn't see us" he said and smirked.

Oh God I love when he smirks. I looked at him with my blushed face and shy eyes.

"Oh God how I love when you look like this" he said and kissed me.

We were kissing for two minutes and than a bunch of people came into his shop.

"Rumpelstiltskin!!!" A blonde girl said.

I jumped a little and looked at them.

"Miss Yamanaka?? Is that you?" A mayor said.

Oh my God no... I gave them a little smile still embarrassed.

"Hiii..."

Mr. Gold pulled me closer by waist again into a hug so I don't have to face them. I hugged him and closed my eyes, all of the sudden I felt sleepy and Mr Gold took me in his hands.

Rumpelstiltskin pov

I had a great moment with Koko when miss Swann and the others came into my shop. I remembered from Enchanted Forest that Koko would calm down with hug so I pulled her into a hug and put her to sleep because she still doesn't remember anything about her real life. I took her into my hands and walked to back room to put her to sleep. When I got back the group was still waiting for me.

"How can I help you people?" I asked surly angry.

"What are you doing with that poor girl Rumpelstiltskin?" Emma asked.

"That's Koko, the youngest daughter of King Triton"  I said.

"that's nonsense King Triton's youngest daughter is Ariel" Snow White said.

"No it's not. He has 8 daughters but his youngest ran away, nobody knew why" Regina said.

Everyone were looking at her now.

"It's true. Do you people know a story about The Devil's Triangle??" I asked.

Henry stepped closer to me.

"That's story about Koko. She didn't like how her father has never gave her attention so she ran away to be with her aunt Ursula, but than she got mad at her aunt for not giving her legs and she ran away somewhere in the ocean, but than sailors started to die on specific spot in the ocean where people started to think that mermaid had to do something with it. It was Koko???" Henry asked.

"You are smart about fairytales" I smiled at him

"Yes it's true everything that Henry said but he doesn't know some details"

"Koko loves storys, but because her aunt didn't know much storys about Aurora, Cinderella or you Snow White, she would tell her storys about Regina, Jafar, mee. As she told me she loved my story, it was her favourite. One night when I was making a deal with poor girl, I spotted something in the water. That night I met Koko"

"My aunt Ursula knows you. She told me about you, your story is very sad. You didn't have a choice. You are not a coward". She said and came closer to rock again.

I looked at her shocked. Why is she like this? She should be scared? She looked at me with her innocent blue eyes. At that moment I felt her hand on my leg.

"You should be scared of me... Im The Dark One...."

"But I know your story, you are not that scary at all"

I looked at her and saw that her pearl started to glow. She looked at it and became sad.

"I have to go, my aunt is calling me. Will I meet you again??" She asked with tears in her eyes.

"Don't cry dear. Let's meet here tomorrow at midnight, what do you say?" I asked and smiled.

She just nodded. She jumped from sea and kissed my cheek and ran deep down in the ocean. I was standing there for a few minutes and came back to my castle, thinking about her.

They all looked at me different. Snow White, Prince Charming, Emma and Henry looked at me with melting eyes but Regina looked angry.

"Have she ever sang to you?" Regina asked.

"She did once, why?"

"She is a mermaid Rumpelstiltskin, she made you fell in love with her just so she can kill you"

"STOP THAT NONSENSE REGINA!! YOU TRIED TO BREAK US ONCE AND YOU DID IT BUT NOW YOU WON'T DO IT!! I WON'T BELIEVE IN THAT SHIT ANYMORE!!" I yelled at her.

"Lisa... It's alright darling" Snow White said.

I looked back and saw her standing there, terrifying. I made a few steps to her but she got few steps away.

"Who are you people??" She asked with tears inher eyes.

----------------------------------------------------------

Reblogs, likes, comments are appreciated

Tags: @bellarkeselection, @sunflowerleii, @micheleamidalajedi <3

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

It’s good to see you again, Blair :D

I am asking you to ramble about absolutely anything you’d like. Whatever it is.

You never disappoint! I won't lie, I had hoped to see your name crop up in my inbox.

So, since I rarely have a chance to ramble about the shows I work, I'm going to take this opportunity to rant about The Little Mermaid. Why? Because I'm trying to get that show added to the roster of productions we put on for my children's theatre.

Tumblr has already talked about the misconception of this show. How Ariel is seen purely as a romantic who literally gave up everything to chase a boy she didn't even know. But in reality, Eric was just an excuse that pushed her into finally doing something she had always wanted to do deep down. Ariel doesn't surrender her voice to get a boyfriend, she does it so she can visit the surface and experience what it means to be human. Something she dreamed of long before she met Eric. (Part of Your World, anyone?)

I actually want to write in some dialogue into our script where Ariel lampshades the absurdity, Frozen style. Where she acknowledges that it was foolish to chase after Eric when he was more or less a stranger. But of course, by the end of the show, he definitely isn't. I want Ariel to reunite with Triton and for them to talk about Eric. "You were right. I didn't know him. But now I do."

Writing Sebastian is so damn fun. He's 100% done with Ariel's nonsense and absolutely does not get paid enough for this, but he will truck on, and try to keep her safe. I want to write a line for him reuniting with Ariel after almost getting killed by the Chef and his cleaver in that number, "You would not believe the day I'm having."

Meanwhile, Ursula. Best role. Best villain. Best song. She realized she could exploit the King's daughter to seize his throne. In general, her motives and her history with the crown are interesting. In some versions, she was the one who murdered Ariel's mother, explaining why Ariel would have been wary of her, but of course, Ursula claims it was all a misunderstanding and that she tried to save her. In other versions, Ariel's mother was killed by sailors. (Not Eric's sailors, but still) explaining why Triton hates them so much. In other versions, Ursula is literally Triton's sister, and Ariel's aunt, which does give her a claim to the throne. But, I'm not crazy about this. As I've talked about before, I'm no fan of the "evil aunt/uncle" trope.

Ursula's end is also much better depicted onstage, in my opinion. In the Disney movie she turns into a giant titan and then gets speared by the ship...and it's like, sure, okay I guess? But in the stage play, they can't do that. Instead, the power of The Trident consumes her. She can't handle it, and it destroys her - and Triton even warns her beforehand that this could happen, that not everyone has what it takes to wield the Trident's power, but of course she doesn't listen. I love that. It's much more interesting and character based.

There are also some great songs in the stage version, in addition to the iconic tunes from the movie, that a lot of people don't know. I invite anyone reading this to search up "Fathoms Below" and "Human Stuff" and especially "She's In Love" which is sung by Ariel's sisters and is a knock out show-stopper. Basically I've been penning a version of Little Mermaid to pitch to my Director so I've been thinking about that show a lot right now, and I think it's fascinating.

The main thing I want us to add song-wise is a finale number, that talks about the Land and Sea coming together. Little Mermaid 2 does have this, but the melody is awful. It's so bad. In general, Little Mermaid doesn't have a final number, and I want to show how the two worlds that were divided by ignorance and fear are now coming together, through Ariel and Eric. That's an important message.

[singswan-springswan]

It's been discussed by people more eloquent than I, but what they did to Eric in the finale of TLM remake was a sin, a crime, a disservice, and if I ever get over the discomfort, it won't be for a long time.

I simply don't understand their reason to take Ursula's death away from him. On top of that, why would they give it to Ariel? Ariel already saved him once before. The fight against Ursula was supposed to give Eric a turn at being the hero. It was Eric's moment to prove to Triton that he really does love Ariel and is willing to fight for her and protect her and---most importantly---that humans aren't inherently evil in the way Triton believes. Ariel doesn't need to prove herself in this way. She's already shown that she's courageous and brave and unafraid to do difficult things to keep Eric safe. Also in the remake... she knows that Ursula is family, and yet this nuance doesn't seem to mean anything to her? She doesn't hesitate to act in a way that she knows will at least hurt her aunt if not kill her outright, and I understand that the drive to protect Eric is strong but it felt really out of character for Ariel to be the one actively impaling her aunt.

I'm not saying Eric should have done it because ships are his thing (they're not. They're Ariel's thing too, even if Eric is more familiar with the way they actually work n stuff). I just think that when you take into account the status of every character at that point in continuity, it makes sense for Eric to rise to the occasion. It's his chance to save Ariel the way she saved him. It's his chance to prove himself to Ariel's father and gain his trust. He would also be the angriest with Ursula and have the least reason to hesitate when it comes to taking her creepy tentacle shebs down. She tricked him, stole his freewill, used a siren song against him, took the love of his life away and tried to kill her. Given the opportunity to stop her terrorism, he should have been given the same role he had in the original film. Instead he just sits on a rock uselessly after throwing one harpoon, and Ariel leaves his side to do all the heavy lifting.

It makes no sense to me. Is this about presenting Ariel as a strong independent woman who doesn't need a prince to rescue her? Because that's such a flat reason. Like I said, we've already seen Ariel prove herself in the rest of the movie, and the new film did a great job developing her character. She doesn't need this moment of triumph at all. Besides that, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being a fighter. There's nothing wrong with needing help. Ariel's character would not be cheapened in the slightest by needing Eric to be her hero in that moment, especially because we've already established that she was his hero first. She doesn't need to do it all! I'm tired of this narritive that puts all the pressure of only one half of the ship to deliver in this way, either male or female. A good partnership is one that shares the hard things and gives both people room to use their unique abilities for the benefit of each other. This is something the original movie nailed with Ariel and Eric. They were complementary. Neither one was braver or more heroic than the other, but they presented these qualities differently in a way that didn't detract or rob one or the other of purpose. By taking Ursula's death away from Eric and giving it to Ariel in the remake, Eric's purpose in the story in reduced to Ariel's object of interest (I don't mean in the sense that she has no intense feelings for him or that he isn't her partner). The story is no longer about how they overcome conflict between land and sea together, but rather changes to be how Ariel goes on her own journey and along the way acquires someone to love that affirms and indulges her greatest desires. It was unsettling to see this done to Eric's character. It cheapens the sacrifice he made by going after Ariel when Ursula took her, and it makes him seem foolish for trying to stand against this mighty sea power. He's not arm candy. He's not just a lovable dork she keeps around for the intrigue of his mind and adventurous spirit. Eric is supposed to be a triumphant character that prevails over evil---not because he's powerful---but because he's willing to sacrifice for what he loves. Watching him do a number as a wet rat on a rock while Ariel saves the day does nothing to inspire this sentiment of his character for me. In fact, I was taken aback. It just doesn't make sense that they changed this part of the story when there was nothing wrong with it to begin with and it actually fit in line with both the original and new storyline so neatly. I don't understand it and I really don't like it. It wasn't worth what little it added to Ariel's character to take so much away from Eric. Prince Eric fr doomed by the narritive

[cosmiclasagna]

ugh ok generally i like the new princess ariel show on disney i think its super cute i love ariels design i think she looks great i think her friends look great love the diversity there but we gotta talk ab ursula. THEY MADE HER SKINNY!!!

i genuinely cannot even begin to understand why they made her so skinny shes a plus size queen and did not deserve this!!!

like yea shes still kinda curvy but where are the rolls?? whys she not fat anymore???? they also made her ariels aunt who runs an apothecary and does magic for the kingdom. thats great love that theyre making ursula someone ariel can rely on and turn to for advice but the fact that they couldnt keep her weight how it was sucks.

fat people can be role models. fat people can be doctors. fat people are kind, fat people are supportive, fat people deserve to be seen and represented in animation in roles other than that of a villain.

sorry ab the rambly post but i hate when shit like this happens.

[babyspacebatclone]

Ok, just back from the live action The Little Mermaid.

And may I confidently say?

Best live-action Disney adaptation yet.

True, a low bar to clear, but this honestly felt like a movie and a love story, and not just a cash grab.

Every single changed scene had me smiling. Eric (Jonah Hauer-King) was amazing, and Halle Bailey truly is Ariel, I want her version to become the defacto in the Disney Princesses line because she feels sweet and clever and brave above and beyond the animated version.

(No offense to Jodi Benson, I love her, but the animated version is what it was and the new Ariel is just given more room to breathe.)

I think, comparing, my child self would love the animated spectacle more…

But my adult self loves the tighter, more in depth story of the live action more.

It feels like the best kind of fan fiction, one where someone who loves the characters asks “How were they feeling here? How can I expand this?”

And gives us those glimpses.

Not perfect, but definitely enough for me to fan girl.

Speaking of which… Spoilers below the cut.

Right from the opening scene, you see this movie is taking itself and the responsibility of the story seriously. I love the development of Eric, his camaraderie with the sailors while also being a good mix of level headed (don’t just harpoon mermaids) with reckless insanity (dude, you’re a prince, please don’t laugh while dangling by one arm over open water. ah, well, i love you anyway).

I can feel how much the film pulls back the special effects budget, especially making the introduction of Triton’s daughters basically a business meeting instead of the grand performance, but the filmmakers were smart enough to make the change work. I like the idea of each daughter being “manager” of a specific sea under daddy’s “CEO,” and it was a great excuse to give diversity to each sister.

Plus, I loved their banter/interaction while cleaning the shipwreck, they felt natural and I wish we could have had more time with them.

Speaking of natural!

As a writer I was listening to the exposition, and in my opinion it was exceptionally well done, especially for the amount they crammed into the beginning. Some of it was on-the-nose, but that was restricted to Grimsby, Sebastian, and Ursula, and felt character appropriate in each context.

There was an eye for why the character is saying something - “Am I supposed to tell the Queen her son died, and on his birthday?”; “A shipwreck brought you to us, and now a shipwreck almost took you away, I can’t stand this anymore!”

I didn’t fee like making Eric an adopted orphan of the royal family was necessary, but I loved both Jonah’s and Noma Dumezweni’s performances enough that I accept the filmmakers wanting to justify things and they do tie it in to Eric’s expanded character.

And that is 👌👌👌 he’s so sweet and adorkable and they manage to make his longing to see the world beyond his island mesh with Ariel’s longing for the surface world without it feeling forced.

You see them shyly come together over their shared feelings of isolation and longing for something they’ve only been able to glimpse, not experience.

Turning the ideas that Ursula is King Triton’s sister and Ariel’s mother was killed by humans into not just canon, but pertinent plot points, was excellent.

I wish we could have known more about her mother, but can I say I’m glad it was never revealed Ursula was actually responsible? I suspected that when it was clear Ursula had been banished around the time of the death, but it works so much better than it really was just one human that traumatized King Triton, and him having to overcome his hatred of humanity as a whole despite his lose.

Ursula pulling out the “I’m your Aunt, ‘Daddy’ has hurt me so much by refusing to understand me, too” was genius.

It especially helped with the fact that Ariel was going to refuse to sacrifice her entire life (realism!!) only to give in because of her anger in a moment of spite towards her father (realism!!!), especially with seeing their relationship and knowing that Ariel’s fear of being enclosed under her father’s constant watch was probably accurate.

As a song, “For the First Time” isn’t particularly special.

Including Ariel actively doubting her decision to come to land? Brilliant.

The entire day out and “Kiss the Girl” sequence is perfection, fight me.

Grimsby being an active shipper on deck?? 😍

I personally prefer Eric being the one to steer the ship in the climatic fight, but the detail of Ariel steering it because she’d witnessed him trying to save the ship in the beginning was nice symmetry.

The animal companions were done very well in my opinion: Scuttle was better handled than in the animation to me, Sebastian was perfect and they did a great job humanizing his design with his eyes compared to previous outings, and Flounder was - there. With Max.

Almost feel you could have cut the last two out and lost nothing except babbling to Triton at the beginning, Eric coulda saved the shipboy at the beginning…

(And yes Flounder’s “realistic” design does not improve in context, fortunately he’s on screen less than the animated characters with charisma)

I love the expansion of the prejudices on both sides; I wish it had been better explored at the end, but Queen Selina’s speech to her son about how his feelings for Ariel despite her being a “sea creature” (her initial fearful reaction) was beautiful.

Brain’s trickling down, it was an early showing, but you get the point.

It’s well worth watching the movie, and I’m up for rambling if anyone else is! 😊

[adrianasunderworld]

I have a question does elsa get to have and magic pen?

I had to think about this one for awhile, because Elsa doesn't need a magic pen/magestone because that is not how her specific magic works.

However. I thought more about it, because Twisted Wonderland is the Disney animated universe, just with some differences. So in theory the magic that exists in twst also exist in the universe the princesses are from. I think in book 4, Jamil and Kalim say that Jafar used the ancient magic and techniques before the current magic system was established. So that would mean, in theory, that the type of magic twst does exist in the princesses universe, it just was never discovered.

This is all my very long winded way of saying, yes Elsa can have a pen, along with a few of the other princesses. Not all mind you, just a few who have the ability, they just didn't know it was an option.

That includes:

Elsa (duh)

Ariel (Her dad is a borderline god, and if we go with Ursula bing her aunt, Ariel has powerful magic in her blood. No way she would be magicless along with all her sisters)

Rapunzel

Jasmine

Aroura (I have also said in my headcanon-verse, Aroura is Silvers distant ancestor. The magic could come from her.)

Belle (No reason beyond, because I say so)

Cinderella

Tiana

[captainimfangirling]

The Little Mermaid Review

Only 5 people were in the theater!!! It’s the day before opening day and I thought there would be a lot more since it wasn’t a midnight opening. It as only around 4pm. When I watched Star Wars it was packed.

Anyway, didn’t think it was that terrible but not worth paying the overpriced movie ticket (wait until it’s on Disney Plus). There were changes that I loved and there were changes that I hated.

Warning:  Major Spoilers

One of the changes that I did love was we got to know more about Prince Eric and showing that he is just like Ariel (collecting stuff they found on adventures and over protective parents).

I also loved that they talked about Ariel’s mother because it shows that just like in the cartoon Ariel refused to judge the entire human race just because one killed her mother.

The thing thing I hated the most of making Ariel save Eric twice. In the cartoon they both saved each other so they were equals. THIS is what feminism is about! It’s not about making the female character do everything just to show how strong she is. They even had Ariel fight Ursula getting her voice back instead of having the sea creatures (her friends) help her. I mean I’m not too mad about that one because it implies that one should fought to use their voice but it still proves my point. Also because Triton and Ursula were siblings means Ariel killed her own aunt. I mean she tried to kill them but still.

It also hated that Ursula cheated and made Ariel forget about her kiss deal. The only reason Disney did that was to imply that Ariel didn’t give up everything to me with Eric when it wasn’t necessary because true fans know that isn’t true. Ariel risked her own like for a freaking fork because she was adventurous.

This doesn’t bother me as much but King Triton having 7 daughters from different races implies that he multiple wives each from the “Seven Seas“ and wasn’t just with Ariel’s mother. 😂  I honestly think they should’ve just picked once race and stuck with it if they’re not gonna mention that King Triton is polyamorous.

Most likely not Halle Bailey’s fault but I didn’t see any emotions in her face when she sang. At least until she transformed into a human. When she became human I started to see emotion in in her face. The reason I think it’s not her fault is because I think they used CGI on her face too much when she was a mermaid. For this reason I wish she sang a song as a human and it wasn’t just in her head. Overall I liked her as Ariel but she needs more experience with acting. I saw her wiki she hasn’t done that much.

Don’t hate me but I think Jonah Hauer-King was the best actor on the film. I saw so much emotion. It made me feel like he was more in love with Ariel than she was with him to be honest. It was kind of cool that he was adopted by the royal family because it show family can come from anywhere but I think the only reason Disney decided to make him an adopted son is because the actor would NEVER pass as mixed. I’ve seen other people say they just don’t want a black Prince Eric but I honestly don’t know. I hope that’s not true.

Scuttles, Flounder, and Sebastian creepy look didn’t bother me because I understand it’s a live action movie and that’s how animals look like. The price to pay for that is we don’t see the emotions in these characters because the human characteristics they had in the cartoon are gone (the big eyes and talking mouth). The same thing happened with Beauty and The Beast live action movie.

Overall I enjoyed. Very nostalgic.

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “gethsemane”. Hades swoops in through the stained glass window, at literally the very last possible second, scoops Mal up and swoops her out of the Subconscious Library. Two seconds later. Hades breaks the surface of the water, holding Mal aloft in the air. In Arendelle. Uma’s just waking up. She can hear music. She follows the sound and finds Anna playing on the piano. Noticing Uma eavesdropping, but pretending not to, Anna changes the music to a slower pace. This is when “learn to be lonely” happens. After the song)

Uma: you don’t entertain much do ya?

Anna: hardly ever. Why?

Uma: the pianola wake up call.

Anna: oh. It’s just a piano.

Uma: what’s the difference?

Anna: I have absolutely no idea.

Uma: what’s for breakfast? I barely got any sleep last night. I’m tired. I’m hungry. And if you try to cheer me up again I’ll slap you silly.

Anna: I don’t doubt that.

Uma: but....?

Anna: I’m the younger sister. It’s my job to be annoying.

Celia (appearing out of nowhere): told ya.

Uma: JESUS FUcking hell Celia. Why?!?!

Celia (chuckling meanly): because it scares you.

Melody: Celia! There you are! Sorry cuz. She got away from me.

Uma: yeah. I can see that.

Anna: Celia there is rabbit pie in the dining room.

Celia: homemade?

Anna: not by me.

Celia: YES!

(She teleports away)

Melody: sleep okay?

Uma: look at the circles under my eyes and ask me that again.

Melody: oh. I don’t know how to do this to tell you the truth. All my first cousins are nice.

Anna (sending trouble): okay. How’s about we all go have breakfast?

Uma: not hungry.

Anna: you just said you were.

Uma: not. Hungry.

Melody: s’alright Anna. I’ve been ostracised enough at home to know when I’m not wanted.

Ariel: she’s right you know. Did you really think you’re the only Rudolph here?

Uma: the what?

Anna: Rudolph. You know. 🎶Rudolph the red nose reindeer🎶

Uma: not ringing a gong.

Ariel: it’s a story. Layman terms. You think you’re not worthy of being in the group until you you have something you can contribute.

Uma: oh.

Melody: but people who actually give a shit about you, like Gil and Ben, don’t give a shit about that. They just want to help you.

Anna: and you have to let them.

Ariel: it’s a two way street honey.

Uma: what are you talking about?

Ariel: you’ve been in charge of your crew for a long time Uma. Being there for them through it all. It’s time that you let someone else be there for you.

(This is when “gift of a friend” happens. After the song. Uma looks wholly unimpressed)

Uma: so you’ve all been up shits creek without a paddle then huh?

Melody:....it’s too early to be dealing with her. If you need me I’ll be scarfing scampi chips by the bucket load.

(With that she teleports out)

Anna: I don’t actually know what to do now.

Ariel: neither do I.

Uma: look. I know what you’re trying to do. And I appreciate it. I do. I really do. But it doesn’t work on me. You are completely wasting your time on me cousin. I’m sorry. But you’re wasting your time.

Ariel (smiling from ear to ear): you called me cousin.

Uma: well it’s what we are isn’t it? Cousins. Right?

Ariel: eh true. At any rate. Since we are cousins. As the elder. It falls to me to look after you. So please. Let me. Look after you.

Uma: you uh. You don’t know very much about me do ya?

Ariel: I know enough. I know that you done things that you regret. And that you’re trying to make up for them.

Uma: do you know about our aunt? Morgana?

Ariel: I remember her well. Not fondly though. Not fondly at all.

Uma: well I do. Very fondly as it happens. To you she was the threat you faced after Ursula. But to me. She was the reason I survived Ursula. The last thing she did was sacrifice herself so I could get out of the island with reinforcements. She kept me fed. She kept me clothed. She chahged my hair colour to distance myself from Ursula’s lavender colour scheme. And yeah. Deep down I know it was probably because she wanted to get under Ursula’s skin. But it gave me some semblance of an actual childhood. And the last thing I ever really said to her. Was an insult. And I can never take it back. But I can help Ben. He has given me chance after chance after chance. And I didn’t deserve any of them. So I need to help him. You’ve got to understand that.

Ariel: I do.

Anna: so do I.

Ariel: and I am so, so sorry that you had to go through all of that.

Uma: did you. Did any of you do anything back then?

Anna: we tried. Believe us we tried. But we couldn’t do anything properly until Ben took over.

Uma: what?

Ariel: she’s right. Until Ben made the ordinance. You were all legally, um, how can I put this delicately, “persona non grata” at Adam’s command.

Uma: Tch. that bastard made it so we were non existent? Typical.

Ariel: we tried. We did. We tried. But at the end of the day. All we had was hope. Hope that Ben would do the right thing. And he did.

Uma: so it was just a fluke that Ben didn’t inherit the jackass gene?

Ariel: oh no sweetheart. It was a miracle.

(This is when “when you believe” happens. After the song).

Ariel (cheerfully): how do you know that song?

Carlos: the prince of Egypt is a great movie. You’re an uncultured swine if you don’t know that song.

Uma: who cares about the song! Carlos. What the hell are you doing here?

Carlos: dad sent us to get you.

Uma: us?

Jay: heyo!

Uma: oh for fucks sake.

Carlos: c’mon. He wants us back in Auradon. Now.

Uma: wait, wait, wait. Before I go anywhere with you two. Get the gloating out of the way. Oh come on. I know you know Harry’s dead. You all hated him. So get the gloating out of the way while there are still witnesses. Then we can go.

(Carlos and Jay look each other and then at Uma)

Jay: 🎶Ra da da da da da da da circus🎶

Carlos: 🎶Da da da da da da da da afro🎶

Jay: 🎶Circus🎶

Carlos: 🎶afro🎶

Jay: 🎶circus🎶

Carlos: 🎶afro🎶

Both: 🎶Polka dot polka dot polka dot afro!🎶

(They finsh with jazz hands)

Uma: alright then. Let’s go.

Celia: not quite yet. There’s someone here to see you.

Uma: who?

(In the parlour)

Mama Odie: hello child!

Uma: oh boy.

Odie: now c’mon don’t be like that. Hug your gramma.

Uma: how about later? Whet are you doing here gramma?

Odie: I heard about the demise of your fancy man and since your father’s indisposed I thought you might need a shoulder to lean on.

Uma: thank you but uh. He wasn’t my fancy man. Just my first mate.

Odie: I understand.

Uma: good. Then if you don’t mind. I need to go back to Auradon. Ben needs us.

Odie: but what about what you need?

Uma: I need to help Ben.

Odie: what you need to, my child, is to relax.

Uma: I can’t. I can’t. I need to get on top of this. I need to redeem myself.

Odie: from what?

Uma: everything I did! Everything. I. Did. Everything from the age of eight to tying Mal to the tree and trying to burn her alive! I need. To make amends.

Odie: but running yourself ragged isn’t the way to do it. The king’s a good man. He’ll understand.

Uma: I know. I know he’ll understand. I know. I just. I I need to do this. If not for me then for them.

Odie: siddown.

Uma: what?

Odie (firmly but gently): sit. Down.

(Uma remains standing)

Odie (sighing heavily): alright alright. I see you’re gonna need some help. HIT IT!

(This is when “go with the flow” happens. After the song)

Odie: do you know what you need to do?

Uma: possibly but I know how you work so I’ve wrong. Also. Were the reindeers really necessary?

Odie: yes. The were. What you need. Is to relax. Stop stressin’. You’ll be no good to yourself, let alone anyone else, if you work yourself up into a dizzying tizzy.

Uma: ohhhh.

Odie: now go. Your friends want to talk to you. Oh and Uma!

Uma: yeah.

Odie: try to enjoy yourself. For your gramma?

Uma: I’ll give it a shot.

Odie: good girl.

(In the ballroom)

Uma: my gramma said you wanted to-what the fuck is going on?

(The ballrooms decked out in an “under the sea” theme)

Ned: I had next to nothing to do with this.

Uma (chuckling a little bit): “next to nothing”?

Ned: I uh. I put on the suit.

Uma: alright then. Yo Carlos! C’mon out now you leathery winged succubus.

Carlos (teleporting in front of her in puff of white smoke): okay. First of all. Succubi are female. What you’re thinking of are inccubi. And I’m not one of them.

Uma: oh yeah? Which one are you then?

Carlos: the Coachman was an Italian offshoot of either chaos or punishment demons. But I am very good looking. So I understand your confusion.

Uma: mhmm. Okay. Where’s my sister?

Carlos: Jay and I convinced her to go easier on you.

Uma: so she cooked this up?

Jaylos: yup.

Celia: s’the first thing I could think of. 🎶Surprise🎶

Uma: yeah no.

(This is when “truth beauty freedom love” happens. After the song. Uma pulls away from Ned)

Uma: I’m sorry.

(She teleports away)

Carlos: Jesus Christ she really is stuck in a rut.

Jay: did you actually try to help here or were you just you?

Celia: the fact that you even feel the need to ask me that just proves that you already know the answer.

Jay: well you broke it. So you can fix it. Or you’ll have me to answer to.

Celia: you don’t scare me Tahan.

Jay: oh really? Because I think you’re forgetting that I’m a Genie. That isn’t beholden to The Three Laws. And it would break your father’s heart to see you reduced to the Other Side.

(His eyes turn completely gold and the sounds of demonic screeching wrap around Celia’s brain. She gulps in terror)

Celia: I’ll uh. I’ll go speak to her.

Jay: yeah. You do that.

Ned: try her room.

(Celia teleports to Uma’s room. Uma’s there staring blankly out of the window)

Celia: I’m sorry alright. There I said it. I’m sorry. I would’ve been nicer to you. I’m sorry.

(Uma doesn’t answer)

Celia: oh boy. You’re gonna make me work for it aren’t you?

(Uma still doesn’t answer)

Celia: you know. Ahem. I was always on your side. I was. I hated Mal. Because you did. You’re my oldest sister. I looked up to you. Truth be told. I still kinda do. But Auradon worked its magic on me just like you. Mal helped me when she didn’t have to. So I understand why you feel like you have to do yourself an injury trying to repay the favour.

Uma: I don’t want to hear it Celia.

Celia: but

Uma: I don’t. Want. To hear it.

Celia (sighing deeply): alright. Alright. Fine. I just thought we were a team that’s all.

Uma: we are.

Celia (brightening up): see? That wasn’t so hard was it?

Uma: eh.

Celia: I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT! You’ve always been like me.

(This is when “my own drum” happens. After the song. Uma secretly follows Dizzy to a room at the end of the hall. In there she finds Anthony Baker trying to talk Dizzy into something. Uma stays behind the door to watch it unfold. This is when “I wanna be like you” happens. After the song. Ursula looks mockingly proud of her daughter)

Ursula: did that feel good sweetheart? Did it? Get all your anger out? Show mamma who’s boss? Did ya? Huh? DID YAAAARGH!!!

(Ariel’s teleported behind Ursula and slit her throat. The sea witch falls to the floor, choking on her own blood. Ariel crouches down and in one swift move, rips Ursula’s aorta out)

Ariel (looking Ursula dead in the eye): you will never hurt my family ever again

(She crushes Ursula’s aorta to dust and the sea witch moves no more)

Ariel: are you okay girls?

Dizzy (hyperventilating): he’s dead he’s dead he’s dead she killed him he’s dead he’s dead he’s dead.

Uma: Dizzy look at me. Look at me okay? He isn’t dead. Okay? She impersonated him. She’s didn’t possess him. Do you understand?

Ariel: Uma’s right.

Dizzy: really?

Ariel and Uma: yes.

Dizzy: how. How can you be sure?

Eric: because we’ve seen it. And I’ve been under its spell.

Dizzy: Vanessa.

Uma (sardonically): ding ding ding we have a winner.

Celia: she’s dead.

Uma: Ariel killed her to save me. I’m free. I’m finally free.

Celia: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!

Uma: beg pardon?

Celia: you knew how much this meant to me! You knew how much I wanted to confront her! How much I wanted us to do this together! And you took it away from me!

Uma: THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU!!!! THIS HAS NEVER BEEN ABOUT YOU!!!! YOU HAD DAD AND ANASTASIA AND HADES!!!! I HAD NO ONE!!!! I HAD TO SURVIVE ON MY OWN!!!!

Celia (through a LOT of angry tears): YOU HAD MORGANA AND GIL AND HARRY!!!! YOU WERE NEVER ALONE!!!! YOU. WERE. FINE!!!!

Uma: AND TWO OF THEM ARE DEAD!!!! TWO OF THEM ARE DEAD!!!! AND NOW I’M IN LOVE WITH A FREAKING PRINCE OF ALL THINGS!!!! HOW DO YOU THINK I’M DOING!!!!

Melody: aren’t you glad you never had any kids after me?

Ariel: shhhh.

Celia: YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME!!!! YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH!!!!

Uma: YOU’RE RIGHT!!!! I NEVER CARED!!!! YOU DONT COUNT!!!! I DON’T COUNT!!!! NONE OF US HAVE EVER COUNTED!!!!

Carlos: enough girls. Enough. Uma. Stop shouting. You wouldn’t want to wear out your enchantingly loud voice now would you hm?

Uma (immediately calming down): n. No. No I wouldn’t.

Carlos: good. And Celia. Get a grip for fucks sake. Uma’s right. Thud isn’t about you.

(Celia tries to stab Carlos in the abdomen but he disarms her and twists her arm behind her back)

Carlos: I think it’s time for you to shut up and take a nap now don’t you hm?

(Celia immediately passes out and falls through a small black hole onto he bed)

Dizzy: is she okay?

Carlos: mhmm. But you should probably watch over her just in case she ends up swallowing her own tongue.

Dizzy (flatly): what?

Carlos: you heard me.

(He teleports her to Celia’s room and turns to Uma)

Carlos: follow me.

(In the corridors)

Carlos: dad wants us to get back to Auradon asap. But something tells me that you need a bit more uh what did Mama Odie call it? Oh yeah. Lifting up.

Uma: and how do you suppose to do that exactly?

Carlos: I saw how you took down your mother. That was voodoo wasn’t it?

Uma: I. I guess. But what does that have to do with cheering me up?

Carlos: because we need more firepower. And you, for want of a better word, are it.

Uma: I’m not following.

Carlos: get in the ballroom and I’ll explain

Uma: what?

Carlos: ah Christ. Listen.

(This is when “man with the hex” happens. After the song. Carlos claps his hands above his head and the four of them are on Auradon’s Main Street)

Uma: jackass.

Carlos: eh. It was fun. Now! Can you guys see that dust barrelling towards us?

Uma: yes.

Jay: yes.

Ned: yes.

Carlos: good. Then I’m not hallucinating. Everyone get on top of that greyhound bus

Uma: why?

Carlos: stampede.

(He teleports them to the bus’s roof and uses magic to stop them in safely. Sure enough. Hundreds of hyenas come stampeding at, around and past the bus)

Uma: what are they!

Jay: final line of defence!

Ned: meaning!

Carlos: I kill em.

Uma: that’s not an answer!

Carlos: sure it is.

Ned: how!

Jay: just you wait. You’re about to see something truly, truly special.

(Carlos hops off the bus and into the stampede. What follows is an extremely brutal mass hyena skinning. Carlos doesn’t even use magic. Just a knife. And it’s over in less than two minutes. After which he stands, beaming at Jay proudly, in the middle of hundreds of hyena skeletons with not a drop of skin on them)

Carlos (smugly): well? How’d ya like me noACK!

(Audreficent had attacked him and slammed him into the floor, trying to throttle him to death)

Audreficent (snarling psychoticLly): I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD!!!!

Carlos: but....you....DIDN’T!!!!

(He materialises two iron knuckle dusters and starts beating them up)

Ned (shocked and worried): should we do something?

Carlos: fell free to jump in at any time guys!

Jay: now we do.

(Uma, Ned and Jay leap off the bus and help Carlos’s no holds barred beat down of Audreficent)

Audreficent (green blood pouring down her face): the more you hurt me the more you hurt your friend!

Jay (choking Audreficent with a noose): that’s just the thing your ladyship

Carlos (drawing his arm back): Audrey was never our friend.

(He delivers the progenitor of all punches to Audreficent’s face, sending the whole thing back with a sickening crunch of bone. It’s at this point the villain has enough and teleports away in a puff of black smoke)

Uma: we’re gonna pay for this aren’t we?

Carlos: most likely.

(A rumbling is heard in the distance)

Ned: oh god.

Carlos: oh god what?

Ned: huns. Thousands of them.

Carlos: ah don’t worry.

Uma: don’t worry? DON’T WORRY?!?! I think this is something we should DEFINITELY. WORRY ABOUT!!!!

Carlos: why? We have magic.

Ned: so do they?

Jay: aha but we’re not superstitious about it.

Carlos: follow our lead. You’ll be fine. Chernabog.

Chernabog: yes sir?

Carlos: could I trouble you for some aerial cover?

Chernabog: it would be my pleasure sir.

Carlos: stay safe.

(Chernabog and his brethren fly off)

Uma: THEY’RE GETTING CLOSER!!!!

Carlos: wait for it....wait for it....wait for it....NOW!!!!

(They launch into their counterattack. This is when “radioactive” happens”. After the song. Carlos turns the Huns remains into dust and floats them into the ether)

Carlos: well that was fun. Now we can hop on up to the palace and help my da-ah crap.

(Two middle aged but disturbingly well preserved men teleport in front of them)

Carlos: William Cecil Clayton.

Ned: Lyle Rourke.

Clayton: runt.

Rourke: half breed.

Uma: you’re Grayson’s father. Tarzan’s cousin. You were hung by a vine because if you’re own stupidity.

Clayton: don’t you dare speak to me about that worthless little fa-

(BANG! Carlos has shot Clayton in the mouth)

Carlos: I’ll thank you not use that word in my presence.

(Clayton heals himself with magic)

Rourke: who said you could speak, you poverty stricken street scrounger?

Carlos: HAH! Oh my god. You’re a bit out of it ain’t ya? Me? I’m the crown prince of Auradon. Jay? He’s the prince of Agrabah. Ned? He’s the prince of Atlantis. Uma? Her grandmother is the queen of voodoo. And you? Cesspool? You were disinterested upon trying to rope and cage the ACTUAL heir to Greystoke. And you, Rourke? You’re American. And judging by how old you are. Probably a war criminal. So me, Jay, Ned and Uma are the only ones either any actual power thank you very much.

Clayton: enough of this! Boys!

Rourke: men!

Both: KILL EM!

Carlos: and here. We. Go.

(This is when “world on fire” happens. After the song. Carlos spits someone else’s blood out of his mouth and clears away the dead bodies with his magic)

Carlos: limey bastard. Now. Let’s catch up with Ned and OH FUCKS SAKE WHAT NOW?!?!

(Thirteen men in foreign royal military uniforms are marching up to them)

Jay: Westerguard. And uh. I never bothered to learn the rest of your names.

Hans: oh they won’t answer. I’ve had them lobotomised. Their personalities erased. Turned onto mindless, obedient minions. For me.

Jay: all I can say is thank god I’m an only child.

Carlos: so can I.

Hans: brothers. Attack.

Carlos: I don’t think you want to do that?

Hans: and whyever not?

Carlos: because we have have a story for you. A kind of last rites if you will.

Hans: hmmmm. Alright then. I don’t see the harm in letting you have your last rites. It’s not like you can win against me anyway. I’ve been trained since birth as a soldier.

Jay: oh whoever said it was our last rites?

Carlos: and I think you’ll find that we have an incredible advantage over you. What with our magic and all. In fact. I think you’ll find out that we might just be the best there’s ever been.

Hans: wha-URK

Carlos (punching Hans square in the throat): shhh. Storytime.

(This is when “the devil went down to Georgia” happens. After the song. Jay and Carlos are rushing to the throne room in slow motion and pass Mal’s Id and Ben’s Ego on the way)

Id: of course it would be lovely to say that they reached the throne in time.

(Jay and Carlos burst into the throne room only to find Uma and Ned. And absolutely no sign of Ben)

Ego: but then there would be no story.

(Id and Ego disappear)

Carlos: where is he?

Uma: I don’t know.

Carlos: nonono. You don’t say that to me. Where is. My dad?

Uma: I. Don’t. Know.

Carlos: yeah. Not good enough.

Jay: C. C’mon. If she says she doesn’t know then she doesn’t kn-the mirrors broken.

Carlos: what?

Jay: the mirror. It’s broken. It’s SAND.

Uma: we didn’t know what to do.

Carlos: so you did nothing?

Jay: they were right to.

Carlos: how’d ya figure?

Jay: if the mirrors broken into sand. It means one of two things. Either Hades and Ben rescued Mal in time and she’s alone. Or....

Carlos: oh god.

Persey: no need for the dramatics Tahan. Mal’s alive.

Carlos: oh grazie a Dio

Ned: how d’you know?

Persey: Hades is my father. I’d know if my own sister was dead. It’s kind of our forte.

Jay: they’re right. Them and Hadie have some sort of mortuary sense.

Persey: more like an awareness of when the soul leaves the body. But yeah. Basically.

Uma: oh. Ok-

Carlos: shut up

Uma: excu-

Carlos: I said shut up. I can hear whistling.

Jay: nobody’s whistling hon.

Carlos: not that kind of whistling. THE BALLROOM!!!!

(He teleports away, followed swiftly by Jay and the others in kind. Inside the ballroom they find Carlos floating down to the ground with an unconscious girl in his arms)

Jay: holy shit. JANE!!!!

Persey: oh no.

(Carlos sets Jane on the floor and starts trying to wake her up)

Uma: what about. You know. Your mortuary sense.

Persey: good point. Thready.

Ned: how thready?

Persey: remember when your Uncle Vinnie sat on that hedgehog and Dr Sweet only just barely managed to revive it after your Uncle Mole tried to eat it thinking it was roadkill?

Ned: yeah?

Persey: that thready.

Ned: oh boy.

Uma: one of you kiss her.

Jaylos: what?

Uma: there’s no noticeable injuries on her. She might have been hexed or cursed or jinxed or something.

Jay: you do it.

Carlos: what?

Jay: kiss her. I won’t be mad I promise.

Carlos: why can’t it be you?

Persey: ONE OF YOU SNOG HER FOR CHRISTS SAKE!!!!

Carlos: we both do it

Jay: on three.

Carlos: one.

Jay: two

Both: three

(Together, they dip their heads down and kiss Jane on each corner of her mouth. She immediately splutters awake, spitting what looks like mushroom spores into the air which are promptly immolated by Persey)

Jane: lieu-lieutenant. She was. She tried

Jay: shhh shhh. It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re safe now. We’re here.

Helga: more’s the pity really. I was so certain that those wonderland fungi would do her in.

Carlos (looking like he’s trying to explode her with his mind): it almost did.

Helga: hello your highness. How’re your parents?

Ned: go lie under a crashing zeppelin.

Jay: why weren’t you with Rourke?

Helga: well. We decided to part ways after he screwed me out of my fair share and I shot him down and died in the attempt. That succinct enough for ya?

Jay: Crystal.

Carlos: I’m gonna take Jane to the infirmary.

Jay: I’ll meet you there.

Helga: so let’s go over it then huh? The hyenas. The huns. Rourke and Clayton. The Westerguard’s. Looks like I’m the final boss for this level.

Jay (scoffing): you. Wish.

Helga: well it doesn’t have to be like that. You can surrender. I can kill you all where you stand and sell littlr cowhide here to the nearest freak show.

Persey: I beg your pardon?

Helga: oh don’t read anything into it. The lizard queen laid down the law for us. She respects you and your family. And it’s the dirty bullshit I take issue with anyway.

Persey: hm. Fair.

Jay: is it just you? Or do you have backup? We like to be fair about this where we can?

Helga: nope. Just me. And me. And me. And me.

(As Helga talks she multiplies herself into four perfect duplicates)

Jay: of course. Let’s do it to it then shall we?

(This is when “ballroom blitz” happens)

[redmindsend]

My Trip in California

This trip was a blast. I am going to try to write about it to test my memory.

We left Seattle at 6:30am on Saturday, June 9th. The flight was quick and uneventful. I read a couple chapters from Old Man’s War. When we landed we were picked up by Julie’s Aunt Susie. She took us to Amy and Amanda’s house. We hung out till the afternoon and then got ready for Veronica’s graduation party. There was a mariachi band playing incredibly loud but excellent music (with serenading!) and an open bar (2 whiskey sours, 1 margarita, 1 tequila shot). The food was great and I met more members of Julie’s family than I can remember. We danced for several hours then went to the after party at Marina and Tina’s house. There were alcoholic jello syringe shots and alcohol blood bags there but I only partook in a pickle chaser shot. After that we went home to sleep. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Veronica but I did tell her congratulations earlier in the evening. She left for a short vacation in Chicago before starting her residency in Fontana. She was very pleased to get a residency so close to home.

Sunday we went to church. Chris, Julie’s brother, is a pastor at a church in Yermo, a tiny town outside of Barstow, CA. The sermon was fine if a little ironic. The first image up on screen was the famous (infamous?) pill choice from The Matrix. There is something funny about using the movie created by two trans-women directors to argue for choosing a righteous religious life over the sinful life of, well a lot of stuff including trans. Stuff about how you shouldn’t disturb gods plan and he made you the way you should be bullshit. There was also the cry against science and “survival of the fittest” that is missing a complete understanding of both. Everybody seems to think “survival of the fittest” is the same as “nature, red in tooth and claw” but it’s not survival of the mightiest as the sermon claimed; it’s survival of the fittest for the environment. Also science is a process, not a belief system as much as religious people would like it to be. Afterwards, we all went to tour the Calico ghost town. We rode the slow mining train around a loop with the kids. We went to the Mystery Shack which used several of the same optical illusions as the Mystery Spot in Oregon. It was very hot and bright and I forgot to bring my hat.

Monday we went to Disney’s California Adventure with everybody. We started at the Guardians of the Galaxy ride which is where the Tower of Terror used to be. We stood in line for an hour and then helped Rocket Raccoon bust the other Guardians out of the tower. The first time we went up I didn’t know if I was going to land back in my seat. From there we got hotdogs for lunch (overpriced and not very good; fries were good though). Then we went to the Grizzly Peak section. We did the Soarin’ Around the World ride which was very neat with the 4-d smells and wind. The only thing missing was the water sprays like I experienced at a 4-d film in Florida but we got plenty of water spray on the next ride which was the Grizzly River Run. Julie got absolutely soaked when she leaned forward just as a wave got her on the back. That was my favorite ride of the trip I think, possibly because it felt the least on-rails. We took the kids to the challenge trail for a bit which was great to explore. I want to build a tree top village with rope bridges now. We headed towards Pixar Pier next but stopped to ride The Little Mermaid –Ariel’s Undersea Adventure just before. It was a fun animatronics musical retelling of the movie but it broke down for several minutes in the middle. The music kept cycling and Sebastian the crab came over the loud speaker once in a while to blame Ursula the sea witch for the delay. They fixed it and we continued. The Incredicoaster was my second favorite ride of the day. It was the first loop-de-loop roller coaster I have been on. It felt a lot like mountain biking but with less control over what’s happening to you. Next we rode the Ferris wheel. We chose the cars that are on a small track that allows them to slide and rock back and forth. There were no seat belts which freaked everybody out. Next we got the best $8 pizza I have had to date. I also got extra slices from other people so I was stuffed and pleasantly surprised with how dinner turned out. We rode the circular swings and Goofy’s Sky School roller coaster. The latter was a lot of fun but designed to shove you around in the car during the turns and brakes. We watched the kids do the Jellyfish ride and then hustled clear across Cars Land back to the Marvel side to do the Spider-man ride before the light show started at 9. That was a fun Kinect style video game ride with 3-d glasses. Our car got the second highest score of the hour with only three people in it. From there we hustled back just in time for the Water/Light show, World of Color, to start. It was incredible. They sprayed giant plumes of water and projected animations on it. It started with Walt Disney himself, then went through all the different animations showcasing Disney, Pixar, Marvel and Star Wars. It really felt like Disney bragging as hard as they could (maybe just jerking themselves off). Impressive is putting it mildly. After that we were wiped out (20,000+ steps!) but still caught the fireworks grand finale going on the Disneyland side as we were exiting the park.

Tuesday was a rest day. We swam a bit in Amy and Amanda’s pool and then got picked up and transferred to Marina and Tina’s house. Tina had to work that week until Saturday so we didn’t get to see her much till the end of our trip.

Wednesday we went to the San Bernardino County Museum. It was as good as the last time we went, plus it had a new pollinator’s exhibit. Also after watching Ancient Apocalypse on Netflix (not highly recommended) I noticed a board that mentioned the Younger Dryad Impact Hypothesis, though not by name. I love the science and history that every location has to offer.

Thursday we went to the Living Desert Zoo and Gardens in Palm Desert. I was worried because I had been to a “zoo” in the past outside Oroville that was really just exotic animals in cages for everybody to see and maybe buy. This was different as all the animals seemed to be well cared for. There was plenty of shade and water, the birds were quarantined to prevent avian flu and there were lots of signs espousing conservation efforts. We fed the giraffes lettuce. I highly recommend checking it out if you are in the area.

Friday, Aunt Susie took us to Lake Arrowhead to stay at her cabin for the night. We toured the Lake Arrowhead Village and saw a Guns-n-Roses cover band.

Saturday was our last day. We went to Ella’s graduation party and then hopped on our flight to Seattle at 9pm. We got there around midnight and slept in the car till morning. We had the worst Denny’s experience ever, shopped at Uwajimaya and drove home to our favorite pestery puppy.

[laurelier]

MEG YOUR POST IS SO BEAUTIFUL??????!!?????????

just the whole perspective of ariel as someone who looks at eric and sees a romantic partner, but first and foremost herself, the truest reality of who she is? fuck me man. the movie does too well with hiding the trans theme behind the big fat love story but shit it's so clear. and ursula as a character inspired by a drag queen, who you so accurately describe as a mentor, a say-it-to-your-face gay aunt who prepares ariel for the real world. shit meg

i also wanted to say this part was beautiful and i find a lot of recognition in it and i have goosebumps again now

*overshare sirens*—this feeling of Ariel’s here, this oh shit, that should be me…….. to be just entirely too frank with you all, I like to imagine it’s not dissimilar to the way I personally feel when I look at Harry wearing clothes I wish I could wear in a way I wish I could wear them. The way he appears in his own self being the way I’d live in mine, if I could choose. Which sometimes I feel is me projecting at uncomfortable heights but—it’s just. It’s so powerful to see someone who, for you, for so many reasons, embodies a possibility you didn’t know existed before, a choice you didn’t know you could make.

Ok first of all—thank you???????????? so???? much????? I'm forcing myself to take the compliment first we're taking the compliment yes we're not deflecting. We're saying thank you. Mostly just thank you for reading? And responding?? For your tags?? For sending this ask????? For EVERYTHING???

More thoughts more thoughts for u, as usual I'm coming down from the high of reading tag reacts and leo's is related to this. All this shit is making me wanna write ANOTHER POST someone stop me about the way I think these two dumbass mfs that we spend so much time talking about fuck with the pronouns in their love songs to leave room for that very idea you laid out there, that loving someone deeply and profoundly and genuinely and openly is a road to the self. I'm not going to start making Home connections here. I won't do it. I won't do it to myself. No I will not I cannot I will not no thank u.

But yeah, like, that's there with E and A—Ariel sees someone she loves romantically, and also, in my mind equally or maybe even more, who represents a truer vision of herself. And I don’t at all say that to suggest that you ~find yourself in~ or ~are completed by~ anyone you fall in love with—rather the opposite, that we love those who remind us of ourselves, or who reflect us in a way that strengthens and confirms us. Shockingly enough I get real mushy about this: just like. How much more real it has made me feel, over the course of my lil life, when I've known that other people have truly seen me. Or when something about them has made me see myself. I don't mean, like, me asking anyone else to validate me or convince me of my worth—I mean identification, recognition. You are me. I am you.

And maaaaaannnnnnn the quote you pulled. That's from so deep in my little heart. Right now so few people in my life know that I feel that way—or, like, have heard me say that so honestly, you know? It's sitting right in the middle of my little chest that you see that and feel it and know it also. He's just. So important to me. His tender vulnerable soulful way of existing.

Thank you beautiful ellamerm thank you thank you thank you.

In reference to this

[ofherlionheart]

okay I have four!! for the au + ship

uhhhh they're are like crossovers so yea but!!

mailee hadestown au

platonic zutara or toph & katara aquamarine au

little mermaid yueki au

idk uhhh suki & sokka The Half of It au

ahah, anyway feel free to mix and match!

omg omg omg! tragically i have never seen aquamarine so i don't feel qualified to talk abt that BUT i would looooove to see more toph/katara friendship shenanigan fics. they're so much fun and it's so spicy when they don't get along and even SPICIER when they're scheming together

hadestown: bro bro bro bro bro if hadestown hades is read as capitalist billionaires who profit off of their warehouses and factories of employees that so easily turns into modern au ozai (w/ or w/o bending still in the universe)! with ursa as the super complicated figure of persephone damn. talk about love vs mitigation vs complicity wow. and then mai as eurydice ty lee as orpheus? like obvi if you stick w/ the hadestown script they have a tragic ending BUT when it make ozai/ursa your hades/persephone, atla canon introduces the twist of zuko and azula existing. does hades!ozai seem as powerful and infallible when he's actually a mortal now? what becomes of a god whose progeny can very well outlive him? how does eurydice and orpheus' story change when gods only appear as gods b/c of the unfair systems that feed into their power?

little mermaid: okay at first i was like yue is the mermaid b/c suki is a non-bender BUT if you think about kyoshi island's isolationist policy, that can totally translate to king triton's 'we-don't-go-above-the-surface' thing. ik ariel is the youngest of her siblings, but what if suki were the oldest of the mer-sibs and was therefore their default leader? then her kyoshi warriors literally become her sisters and the stakes re: suki's interest in the surface are intensified: not only is she disobeying her people's no-surface-interaction policy, but she's also betraying/abandoning one of the very things that she loves and that goes a long way in defining her and her personhood (mermaidhood?). idk who would be funniest as ursula but however it goes i think it'd be hilarious if ursula wasn't a vengeful villain, but just a batty queer witch who likes to help other people fuck around a find out. is ursla aunt wu? is ursula june? is ursula actually encapsulated by two people, e.g. sokka and zuko (little did suki know, zuko used to be human but sokka helped him become a merperson so they could be gay and mischievous in an underwater cave with two pet eels forever)? and and and maybe, when suki saves yue's life, it's not just a storm at sea — yue's kingdom is at war, and yue snuck off in men's clothing to help fight the fight. when suki first begs ursula to give her legs, it's just so she can check that yue's all right — she's been having nightmares about yue dying and her inky black hair suddenly turning white, and suki's haunted by the scene for reasons unknown. suki's voice isn't taken as a trade for legs but as an oopsy b/c ursula is young and still mastering her magic. suki finds that yue's hair hasn't turned yet but that can be some dramatic fantastical plot point later. the og little mermaid by mickey doesn't give a whole lot by way of duty/sacrifice/filial piety but finding a way to reshape the little mermaid to fit those themes, which are so central to yue and suki, could be a really fun challenge!

re: the half of it — i have seen it, but i rly didn't vibe with it thematically/structurally, mostly for the reasons pointed out in this article. it's a short but worthwhile read — just a heads up that it discusses rape culture/racial trauma/racialized and sexualized violence against asian womxn

[saltyfries1604]

Okay

So you know how some people think Ariel is stupid and annoying, and like the worst Disney princess ever?

SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE STUPID AND ANNOYING! SHE WAS 16! EVERYONE WAS STUPID AT 16!

She was basically going through the boyband phase, you know, Some girls like Harry Styles, some prefer Prince Eric, and some girls like Sonic the Hedgehog, but what do I know?

Anyway, this girl, she knew what she wanted and she went in and got it and it AWESOME. She was always interested in humans and Eric really just was the push she needed to find out more and do more, Like the whole time she was there in the human world, she was so curious to know how things worked and she was fascinated by puppets and it was ADORABLE!

And also, she made Eric fall in love with her within 3 days! WITHOUT A VOICE!! I have a voice, and no guy's ever noticed my existence until like 3 months later, and they gotta mark attendance and they're just like "what's a ...??" . BUT SHE DID IT! THAT WAS AWESOME!

And then when Ursula turns Trident into a dehydrated frog/seaweed mutant, she attacked Ursula with everything she's got, she didn't wait for Eric, he came on his own, (we love him for that, but this isn't about him) and she kept fighting Ursula, pulling her hair, shoving her around (until she pulled an Aunt Marge and blew up to the size of Russia).

My point being, Ariel is not a useless Disney Princess that sacrificed her voice to be with a guy. She was a reckless teenager that sacrificed her voice to follow her dream of being part of the human world.

[sassyshoulderangel319]

I have some ideas for the Little Mermaid remake (and if I get any of them right I am going to shout “I CALLED IT!” in the theater. Not really but I’ll be thinking it):

Uhm... Samuel L. Jackson as King Triton please?

And Queen Latifah was an inspired cast for Ursula for that ABC version of Little Mermaid and I want her back too. Yes please.

Anyway moving on from casting ‘cuz that’s all I got

Ariel doesn’t even meet Eric before getting legs

Or maybe she does, but, like, she’s only interested in his humaness rather than his attractiveness

Idk i like the idea of Ariel wanting to walk among the humans from more of an anthropologist standpoint lol

Part of Your World isn’t even sung to or about Eric in the original movie, y’all. She just wants to see humanity up close.

Disney’s thrown a little more girl power into their remakes (not always necessarily well but they’re trying ? to address some of the criticisms people endlessly throw) by at least pointing out stronger the female protagonists’ motives. For example Cinderella in the cartoon and remake never went to the ball to have a man save her. She wanted a night off and to go to a party. In the cartoon she didn’t even realize till later the dude she was dancing with was the prince. In the remake she wanted to simply visit a friend. Because the remake did let them establish a bit of an acquaintanceship first which was kinda nice.

So I think for the Little Mermaid remake they should still have Ariel save Eric as an important establishment of his character, but have her be more fascinated than infatuated.

Like, when she gets to land she pokes and prods at his and her legs a lot and discovers that feet can be ticklish and it’s a bonding moment as he laughs but she just... can’t

How this factors into the “you’ve got three days for him to kiss you or you belong to me” thing with Ursula I haven’t quite figured out but I like the idea that their love was a side quest along the way to her getting her dream

She still has the fight with Triton and he busts her grotto but she goes to Ursula more in the state of mind of “he doesn’t understand why I think they’re interesting so I’m going to prove to him they’re not bad” rather than “Dad won’t let me even dream about being with this guy I’m crushing on”

As such, Ursula’s deal is different. More of a “You’ve got three days to find proof humans aren’t barbarians or I’ll take your soul and make you a weed in my garden but I’m still taking your voice so you can’t actually ask anyone anything or interview them like you’re obviously so desperate to” and then when she gets to land Ariel just happens to run into Eric again and be like, “Oh wait hey you! I know you! I dragged your soaked butt out of the storm!” Without actually saying anything of course

And I think maybe on her first day on land, when she’s still getting used to her legs, she’s walking the town of Eric’s kingdom in her hand-me-down sail dress and a little girl runs up to her and gives her a flower or a pretty shell or something. Just because she saw Ariel wandering alone. And maybe the girl’s parents take pity on Ariel, because she can’t speak and looks sad that she can’t thank their daughter, and also because she’s wearing a sail, and let her change into something more suitable

That might be when Eric runs into her and she just lights up and he has no idea why but he humors her because he’s kind and she’s excited

(psst: the shell/flower comes back around at the end of the movie as Ariel’s proof that humans aren’t bad because there’s a flashback somewhere in Triton’s side scenes that show Ariel giving him something similar when she was a wee child and when he understands, he realizes she’s right)

Bring back the thing that was cut from the movie but left in the Broadway musical about Ursula being Triton’s sister and therefore Ariel’s aunt please and thank you. Maybe she’s adopted though IDK. I like it because it brings a little more of a personal grudge between Ursula and Triton rather than just a power-hungry sea witch. The cartoon mentions she lived in the palace but never says in what capacity. In the Broadway musical I really liked that she was his sister

Also don’t write any new songs for the movie, just use the Broadway ones. They’re great. I’ve been wondering why they’re making new songs when the Broadway ones are already there since the Beauty and the Beast remake (though I ain’t complaining about Evermore, I loved Home and If I Can’t Love Her). I loved Speechless in Aladdin but if Beyonce had sung Shadowland from the Broadway Lion King instead of Spirit, I would have actually given that bland excuse of a remake a single kudo. Anyway that’s not the point here. Moving on.

A lot people in the world are professional mermaids/men/folk. Use them as background mers. They’re better at it than rando extras. Also they come equipped with their own tails. Many different options, in some people’s cases

Please use silicone tails for the main merfolk and even convincing fabric tails for background merfolk. Please. CGI is fine but audiences are sophisticated enough to tell when it’s CGI. Particularly when it’s bad (looking at you mermaid tails from Once Upon a Time) because it breaks the immersion of the movie. And silicone specifically will have scale definition and will look much more realistic and fanciful than the mermaids in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (love the movie and the mermaids in it but the tails and their designs could have looked better. Those ultra long caudal fins/flukes probably wouldn’t do as much for proper underwater propulsion as shorter, broader fins would)

kinda all i got for now... if i think of anything else i’ll add it in

[ohmightydevviepuu]

a good day [1/1]

for the five of you who have been patient with me--more patient than i deserve-- here is the conclusion to my space pirates AU.  to @profdanglaisstuff​, to @katie-dub​, to @thisonesatellite​​ (who was very gracious and did not say ‘i told you so’ when i realized she’d been right about war stories).

this will truly be unintelligible if you have not read parts one and two, but they’re short.  i promise.

proximity alert cell block 1138 a good day

--

previously on ‘proximity alert’ and ‘cell block 1138′:  emma's gotten herself mixed up in a bad situation, and it's gotten even worse. with the help of the crew of the jolly roger, she's getting killian back, no matter what it takes.

~5k

AO3

--

She was having difficulty breathing. Her hand hurt and sweat clouded her vision, dripping off her forehead. Her skin was blistered, burnt--standing upright was a challenge.

But she’d made it.

She’d piloted the shuttle successfully back to the Jolly Roger, sinking back into her chair when Will Scarlet voice crackled over her comm that he had her locked in.

She’d made it.

Federation Operative Emma Swan waited impatiently for the airlock to release and was faced immediately with Robin Locksley--”Where’s Killian?” he demanded--and Scarlet himself, who peered past her into the shuttle cockpit.

“Gold’s got him,” Emma gasped. “I--I got away. Killian, he--” Emma gulped.

“He didn’t.” Locksley’s face drained of all color and he said, “Gorramn it. This isn’t right.”

He was shaking his head and his eyes were on the floor, on the doors, on the goddamn ceiling. Anywhere but on Federation Operative Emma Swan.

“It’s wrong, is what you mean,” Scarlet said. He stared straight at her, his glare so hot Emma was surprised it didn’t burn. “The word you’re looking for is ‘wrong’.”

He turned and walked toward the cargo bay, as if that was that. But the word echoed for Emma, sweeping through her veins like the electrical current, sending tingles to her fingers and toes and heating up her cheeks and she pictured Killian spitting blood and venom at her, whispering poison into her ear as he riled her up--

--keeping her angry. Focused.

Protecting her. Unconsciously her fingers curled into a fist and her nails got caught in the scrapes the lockpick had made in her skin. His lockpick.

Robin caught her wince and gestured for her to follow in Scarlet’s wake.

“All of this is wrong,” he said. “This was not how the plan was meant to go.”

Scarlet stopped in his tracks and hissed, reaching for Locksley; for Emma, time stopped.

“Wait,” she said.

Locksley growled something unintelligible, ignoring her.

“Wait,” Emma said again, raising her voice, waiting for someone to speak and pulling the gun she’d stashed in the shuttle, pointing it at Will when no one did. “What plan?”

Scarlet looked at her, calmly. Quietly. Politely.

Emma really wanted to shoot him.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she said instead. “What are you waiting for?”

That’s when Emma felt the arm around her neck and the pain in her wrist that loosened her grip on the gun.

Will pointed. “I was just waiting for Ursula to get up behind you.”

There was a whisper in her ear that said, “Calm down, sweetheart,” before the world went dark.

--

“She’s pretty. Way prettier than her identcard.”

“Of course she is. Don’t mean we have time for this.”

Emma woke up with a bandage around her palm, hooked up to a drip. There was a lightness in her head; they’d given her a smoother.

“She’s bleeding and burnt. We didn’t have a choice.”

“She left the Captain. That wasn’t part of the plan.”

“You know the Captain. Never gonna miss a chance for thrilling heroics. Especially not with--”

“Yeah. He’s a bid damn hero.” Someone was standing over her. “And she’s awake, anyway.”

Emma sat up and ignored the dizziness, reaching for the drip in her arm and trying not to scream from the movements.

“Easy,” said a man who was tall and blonde and staring at her as if she was a science experiment.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen.” It was Will.

“It’s not,” Emma said, but was restrained from further movement by a woman, tall and broad and beautiful with a fall of thick black hair and a gun at her hip.

“Listen to the doc,” she said, gesturing at the blonde man, and Emma recognized her voice. Part of her wanted to laugh at the ‘big damn hero’ comment and the other part of her wanted to cry, because that was Killian Jones.

That was why she’d gone to him, in spite of everything.

That was why he’d helped her, in spite of everything.

And now she’d lost--everything.

“What the hell is this?” Emma whispered. “We need to get Killian. We need to--” she gulped, feeling dizzy again “--find my kid. He’s not safe, Gold’s looking for him, we have to--”

“He’s alive, right?” It was the redhead speaking, the one who’d called Emma ‘pretty’.

Emma nodded and the redhead--she smiled. It didn’t last long, just until Will said, “For now.”

Robin Locksley smacked him on the back of the head. “We’re getting him back. Right, Ursula?”

The woman still gripping Emma’s shoulder smiled, too, though it was tiny and strained as she watched the redhead. “We are, Ariel. I promise.”

“Who’s your kid?” Locksley asked, but Emma was dizzy and nauseated and in pain and she couldn’t speak. She was nothing but a spiral of rage and regret that fed on each other, expanding outward--at the crew, at Killian--and then contracting inward, because all of this was her fault. It had been her mission, her plan.

Except--had it?

The spiral started over again, making breathing difficult until the redhead--Ariel--stepped forward and took Emma’s hand and squeezed it. She said, “You know that none of this is your fault, right?”

“Except for how it is,” Will said.

Ariel ignored him. “You’re not responsible. He was always going to go, and he was never going to leave you behind. That’s not the kind of man he is, and it’s the first thing he always teaches us when someone joins the crew.”

Emma looked at her and saw genuine sympathy in the woman’s eyes. She squeezed back. It was all she could do.

“Operative Swan.” A man spoke. He wasn’t tall but he carried himself with a sense of presence that Emma immediately found comforting. He was bald; his clothes were plain and grey and he walked as though he was wearing a uniform. “Please, relax. I assure you that we are going to get the Captain back. Tell us about your son.”

Will made an exaggerated show of tapping the chronometer on his wrist.

“No, Will, it’s clearly important to her, and it might give us additional information we need to finish the job safely.”

Will threw up his hands and ducked before Locksley could hit him again. Ursula kept her eyes trained on Emma while Ariel’s gaze flitted from one person to another.

“Call me Nemo,” the bald man said. “I promise you that you can tell me, Emma.”

“My son is--” Emma took a deep breath. “My son is Henry Cassidy. He’s Gold’s grandson, and Gold wants him back. That’s why I--” She shook her head. “That’s why I went to Killian, why I used him, why--”

Emma stopped talking.

Every face in the medbay was on her. Will had gone colorless. Ariel gasped. Even the doctor seemed interested.

“Shit.” It was Ursula.

“Emma?” Locksley looked sympathetic and Emma blinked back tears. She never should have left Henry with him, but Henry was special, Neal had insisted. Deserved his life with the best tutors and academies the Federation could offer--more than the life an always-on-the-job Operative could give him. Henry deserved his best chance.

Emma had no idea what she’d been getting in to.

She had regretted it immediately.

But that was already too late.

Nemo repeated, “Tell us about your son, Emma.”

But she was done with all of that.

“No,” Emma said. “Why don’t you tell me?”

A woman walked into the medbay just then--a woman with luscious, curly brown hair and a pale complexion and pink in the apples of her cheeks. When she walked in, Will Scarlet turned immediately in her direction, as if he could protect her from whatever was about to happen.

“Belle,” he said, but she cut him off with a glance.

“For starters,” she said, “his name isn’t Henry Cassidy any more. It’s Henry Mills.”

--

Killian breathed, and it hurt.

He ignored it.

Killian moved, and that hurt, too.

But he stayed focused.

Emma had gotten away.

Emma had gotten away.

She would be safe. The boy would be safe.

His crew would finish the job.

They would end this.

That was the plan.

He repeated it to himself as Gold turned up the dial for another round.

--

Regina Mills projected a majestic air that carried even across the crappy vidscreen in the medbay of the Jolly Roger.

“A man will die horribly, Regina, if we don’t do this. As a member of the Federation council you know how bad Gold is. You know personally how bad Gold is.”

“Yes,” Regina said, her tone impatient as she tapped one manicured finger on the table where she sat. “Which is why I hired this crew in the first place. He’s bought off most of the council and you personally know how invested I am in cutting off the flow of his influence. But I’m not in the business of doling out favors, and I am in the minority on the council. I wish--”

“We don’t have time to wish!” Emma’s hand banged on the cockpit and Ariel hissed. “Killian is being tortured, and what are you going to do, Madame Mills, when Gold comes after you? Or my son?”

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep Henry safe.” The edge in Regina’s voice was sharp enough to cut.

“Regina? What’s going--wait. Is that--”

Emma stared.

His eyes looked so much like Neal’s, and the way his mouth curved--but the shape of his face, that was all her.

“Mom?” Henry said. “Mom! Is that really you?”

He beamed and his smile could light up the whole goddamn galaxy.

“Henry,” Emma said. She exhaled, feeling like she hadn’t been breathing until exactly that moment as, for a split second, everything was right with the world again.

“Aunt Belle!” he said with a friendly wave. “It’s so good to see you!”

“And you, Henry,” Belle said, glancing at Regina quickly.

But not quickly enough. “What’s going on?” Henry asked. “Mom, are you safe?”

The moment shattered.

Emma opened her mouth to speak but before she could begin to form the words Ursula stepped in and said, “That depends on Regina, Henry.”

Regina’s eyes flared with anger before an eyebrow went up in grudging respect. There was a swift tilt of her head and then, “I’ll do what I can. But so will you. You get me what I need, do I make myself clear?”

“Understood,” Ursula said, and then made a gesture across her throat as Scarlet cut the feed.

--

“Regina Mills has my son?” Emma kept repeating it. “Regina Mills took my son?”

“No,” Belle said. “That was me.”

Will’s arm wrapped around her shoulder and pulled her close. “I was married to Robert. Not for a long time, he--” Belle shuddered “--it didn’t end well. I couldn’t leave Henry there. And I knew about Killian, about his history with my husband. It was the best I could make of a terrible situation. Henry’s--he’s such a special boy; I knew Killian would want him to be safe, for the sake of his father and their friendship.”

“None of us knew the Cassidy kid was your son,” Will said. “We were after something else entirely. You being on a mission to go after Gold, well--” he shrugged “--it was too good an opportunity to pass up.”

Emma had a sudden flash of Smee’s distinctive red hat in the darkness. Of Killian’s lack of surprise when he’d seen her in the middle of his job.

His willingness to follow her into Gold’s space station.

It clicked.

“Killian got captured on purpose,” Emma said. “Why? What did it have to do with my son? Gold is a killer--”

“Yes, we know,” Ursula said. “That’s why he was supposed to say alive long enough to not get dead.”

“That would involve being rescued,” Emma said.

“Yes,” Ursula said, giving Emma a long look. “It would.”

The lockpick. Emma’s hand flexed.

“It was the best way to get the drop on Gold,” Locksley said. “He’s got superior numbers and firepower, and, well--” He shrugged. “For what it’s worth, Emma, I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“There’s no saying ‘I’m sorry’ in the field,” she snapped.

Will snorted.

Ursula raised an eyebrow.

Emma did not like being used as a diversion.

She was also not a particular fan of irony.

Emma shifted uncomfortably on the bed Dr. Whale had put her in. The problem was, there’s nothing harder in the world when an operation goes bad than doing nothing at all.

Nemo was watching her and she focused her attention on him. “None of that answers my question,” she said.

“Killian used to work with Cassidy,” Nemo said. “Back in his Federation days, before--”

“Before the murder, piracy, smuggling, theft of Federation property, desertion and dereletion of duty?” Emma said. “Shocking.”

“It can be a lot to take in,” Nemo said.

“No, I meant the part about how it was before the crimes and not after,” Emma sighed. “Neal was never much for law abiding.”

But Killian was. Or he had been, once. She’d seen the files.

“Cassidy got mixed up in something terrible,” Nemo said. “Killian got involved to try and pull him out. Made a deal with Gold but the op got burned. Killian’s brother died. Cassidy went back to his dad. Killian was out of choices. He disappeared, and took this ship.”

“How’d he pull that one off?”

“He’s a hell of a captain,” Ursula said.

“He had help from inside, didn’t he?” Emma said.

Belle nodded. “He did. He had help from Regina Mills. Robert always suspected she’d done it purely out of spite against him.”

“Regina--” Emma’s jaw dropped. “Regina Mills? Killian got himself involved in a pissing match between two of the most powerful people in the entire Federation?”

“‘S how we knew you were going after Gold,” Will muttered. “Regina keeps a close eye on him. Once the Cap’n heard you were involved there was no stopping him. Figured the best way to stop Gold was just to get in the middle of it.” His expression darkened. “Shoulda known Gold had something else up his sleeve. Once you end up on the wrong side of one of that man’s deals, there’s no corner of the ‘verse he won’t go searching.”

“Stop scaring the children, Scarlet,” Ursula said. “The ‘verse doesn’t have actual corners.”

Whale snickered.

Emma pulled out the drip and rubbed at the spot on her arm. “What’s next?” she asked.

“Plan B,” Ursula said.

“What’s Plan B?” Ariel chirped.

“I’m working on it,” Ursula sighed.

“Well, obviously we have some tactical goals,” Emma said. “We have a rough approach.”

“Can you do it?” Ariel asked.

“No.” That was Whale. “Probably not.”

“Hey,” Ariel said. “What happened to ‘no man left behind’?”

Whale shook his head and smirked. “Suicide.”

Nemo said nothing but turned his gaze dead on the doctor until the smirk faded and the man shifted his posture and, finally nodded. “Right,” he said. “Plan B it is.”

--

There was a stash of weapons on the galley table. Guns, knives, grenades; it was an arsenal.

Emma was impressed.

Planning a high-level action like this--it required a certain amount of quantitative thinking mixed in with just a hint of immorality and a dash of spite.

That, plus a driving personal desire to keep it going during the downtime.

Emma knew a little something about that.

So did Killian Jones.

But this--”This was all Regina’s doing, wasn’t it? She used him?”

Will snorted and Robin smiled. “It was, but not in the way you’d think,” he said, taking the gun Ursula had just checked and loaded. “The difference between being on the inside and on the outside--it’s all about sanction. Killian lost his. Found out his partners were his enemies and that the world was a much darker place than even he realized. So he found us--a bunch of folk on the wrong side of the law who didn’t hold it against him that he used to be on the right side. It’s the same for him and Regina.”

“You’re only a pawn if you don’t know you’re being played,” Nemo said. “Killian always knows.” He refused Ursula’s proffered gun and reached instead for a pair of knives that he sheathed expertly before he asked, “What about you, Emma?”

What Emma had learned from the so-called right side of the law was that it was bad business to put her faith into anything she couldn’t control. The only person who saved her was her.

“Here’s the thing,” Ursula said, cutting her gaze between Nemo and Emma. “We like to plan our missions with the idea of everyone getting out. You know, together. So why don’t you sit back and let us do the heavy lifting?”

“This is a bad idea,” Emma said instead of answering. “He’ll still have the advantage over you.”

“Everyone always does,” Nemo said. “That’s what makes us special.”

“I thought Operatives weren’t allowed to have associates like the Captain, anyway,” Ursula said. Her eyes were measuring, and Emma--clearly--did not come up to scratch.

“Lovers!” Ariel chimed in.

“We weren’t--” Emma huffed. “I got a good look at the layout on my way out. I had the goddamn blueprints for my infiltration. Let me lead--”

“No.” Ursula said. “We have Belle for that.” But she exchanged glances with Locksley and Scarlet and then sighed. She reached for the table and picked up two grenades, passing them to Emma.

“This is about trust,” Ursula said. “Captain trusts you. But you’ve got your own agenda just like we’ve got ours, so it’s also important to have honor. Do you have honor, Operative Swan?”

That was the other thing: Emma knew this story--about the bad woman and the bad man. The one where bad things happen and then the woman is left to pine away for her handsome hero, waiting for him to come back, for someone to smirk, and to declare it a happy ending. But for Emma Swan, all of the endings she’d been part of were unhappy.

But maybe they didn’t have to be.

Maybe they didn’t need any more time-outs or codenames or dark rooms full of bad ideas.

Maybe this time, they could win.

“We weren’t lovers,” Emma said, meeting Ursula stare-for-stare. “I love him. I am in love with him.”

Ursula’s face didn’t change but something flickered in her eyes as Robin broke out into a genuine smile.

Will Scarlet just shook his head.

“Finally,” he said to no one in particular. “She admits it. Do you know how many stupid jobs Captain made us pull just to keep us in your orbit?”

--

The proximity alert buzzed on the edges of Killian’s consciousness and his fingers clenched, his jaw tightened.

Gold looked up, his face twisted in consternation before he turned to glare at Killian.

“Listen, if you’ve got guests, I can come back later--”

Gold took two steps forward, his cane raised over his head but Killian struck first, pulling his arms from behind his body. He was battered, he was bruised, he was half-dead, but he was walking and upright and advancing on Gold.

“Don’t take another step,” Gold warned.

“I did a job,” Killian said. “You’re not the only one who lost that day. I lost my brother, I lost my livelihood, I lost everything I thought I was.” He took another step. “Tell me, are you familiar with the saying ‘He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot will be victorious’?” He backhanded Gold across the faced and watched him crumple, his mouth bloody, his arms up as he attempted--poorly--to defend himself. Killian shuffled forward and just hit him again, watching Gold hit the floor with some satisfaction--watching him scrabble backward as the last of Killian’s strength started to fade.

--

“Whale, Nemo, and Scarlet are with Belle,” Ursula said. “Locksley and Swan with me. Ariel’s gonna stay here and keep an eye on things.”

“No shooting until it seems like the last resort,” Locksley said.

“Always with your rules,” Ursula said. She turned to the group. “If it moves, shoot it.”

Emma bit her lip and nodded.

“Will, how are we on the override sequence?”

“Pretty sure this will pop the airlock doors, if Robin can make the seal on the first try.”

“So you’ve done this before?” Emma asked, trying--and failing--to tamp down her skepticism.

“Oh, hell no.” Ariel laughed.

“I guess they won’t be expecting us, at least,” Emma said.

“Yeah,” Will said. “That’s because they aren’t insane.”

“Shut up, all of you, and focus,” Ursula said as the airlock opened. “Let’s go get the Captain.”

She leveled her rifle and fired down the corridor; as guards jumped out of the path of the oncoming bullets Emma pulled a grenade from her belt, armed it and let it roll. It bounced off the corridor wall before it exploded. Ursula called out, “Second team!” and Robin covered the corridor as Scarlet, Belle, Nemo and Whale moved out of the airlock.

Will made sure to keep Belle covering behind as he joined the assault, letting off four rounds and finishing with a shot directly in the kneecap of an oncoming guard. He banged into the wall as Will watched, head on a swivel, one eye forward and one eye always following Belle.

“Move out?” he asked Ursula.

She nodded, never lowering her rifle.

Emma strode forward, pushing ahead of Ursula and Robin and ignoring their protests as she did so. “Cover from that side,” Robin called behind her to Ursula. “I’ve got this one.” She blasted back two guards and threw herself at the corridor wall as they returned fire while Ursula dropped the rifle and pulled two handguns from cross-strapped shoulder holsters and pivoted into the fray, firing.

“Swan!” she called. “Grab the keycard!”

--

The door slid open and Ursula and Robin filed in, guns out, eyes on Gold.

Killian only had eyes for Emma.

She was pale and bruised. There was a bandage on her wrist and dried blood on her clothes but when she smiled at him it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in the entire universe, shining more brightly than all of the stars in the sky.

The last of his strength faded and he felt Ursula and Robin behind him, pulling him upright.

Keeping him upright.

Will came in, gun drawn, Belle behind him. Nemo followed behind, knives drawn, and went straight for Gold, keeping him on the ground with a look every time the man shifted.

Belle caught his eye and gestured, the thumb of her right hand pointing up and it was when Gold turned to follow Killian’s gaze that he looked, for the first time, truly defeated.

“Belle?”

Killian toed at Gold’s midsection, wishing he had the strength to give it a good, hard kick.

“Belle, you don’t understand.” He was babbling. “I can explain, I--”

Killian toed him again. “Shut up and listen to the lady, crocodile.”

Belle’s voice was ice. “I used to--I thought I saw something in you. Something good. But then I found something of yours.”

Whale strode in as if on cue, holding up a small object; round and golden and more valuable than all of the credits in the Federation Reserve.

“Holy frak,” Emma said. “Is that--”

It was a compass; or at least, it had the likeness of one. Most people--if they’d heard of them at all--assumed they were a myth, part of the story of the all-knowing Federation.

“You told me that all of this was about your son,” Belle continued. “You told me that it wasn’t about power, or gold, or about anything other than trying to move on knowing that you had gotten justice for your son. About giving Henry the kind of life you wish Neal could have had. But all of that was a lie.”

Belle stepped forward, five-foot-nothing of pure rage as she stared down the man she used to love. “You didn’t care about Henry, and you weren’t using this for revenge. You were using it for money. For power. That’s your true love, and you won’t give it up for anything. Not even for me. That’s why you can’t move on--you never have, and you never will.”

“There’s nothing wrong with power,” Gold whispered. “Not when it means that I--that we--can have it all.”

“I just wanted you,” Belle said, and her voice finally broke as she stepped away, back up against the comfort of Will Scarlet and his drawn weapon, putting it back in between herself and her ex-husband. “I tried to be everything for you, and I lost my way. Not anymore.”

“Belle--”

Emma bent down and pistol-whipped him across the face, knocking Gold unconscious.

Their eyes met and Emma took one step forward and then another. Killian wanted to say something, anything, to explain but the second he opened his mouth Emma hit him.

Hard.

The woman had a right hook like a freight train.

Killian swore he could feel Ursula trying not to laugh as he sighed, heavily.

“I can’t believe this was part of your gorram plan,” Emma hissed. “You stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking---”

“Pirate?” Killian raised his eyebrow. “And who’re you calling ‘scruffy-looking’?”

Emma drew herself up, pushed her shoulders back, reached forward and grabbed him; there was nothing gentle in her movements as she kissed him--as he kissed her--and, as abruptly as it had started, it was over.

Except for the look in her eyes--soft. Hopeful. The smile on her face as Killian grunted and looked at Will and said, “Well, you were right about this being a bad idea.”

“Thanks for saying, sir,” Will deadpanned.

--

“You sanguine about the kind of reception we’re apt to receive here, Captain?” Ursula sounded merely curious as she asked.

“Absolutely,” Killian said. “Hopeful.”

“Item of interest--it also means ‘bloody’,” Ursula muttered.

“We’ve done one of those already today. Least we can do is try the other.” Killian winked.

They weren’t on the civilized part of the world, that’s for sure. Low hills, rocks and sagebrush in a deep valley with the high towers of the city glinting in the distance.

The woman waiting for them didn’t belong here; her clothes were too refined, her makeup was too perfect. She was every inch the high-ranking Councillor she appeared to be, a physical embodiment of the Federation’s power, and she was watching him with a small smile on her face.

It was not a pleasant expression. Emma only barely stopped herself from reaching for her gun.

“Killian Jones.”

The bow he gave her was sweeping and dripping with irony. “Regina Mills,” he said. “At last we meet.”

“We’ve met before,” she said.

“You poisoned me.”

That was news to Emma. She looked to Killian but all of his focus was on Regina Mills.

“You were fine.”

“I was unconscious for three days,” he said.

“I admit we didn’t part on the best of terms,” Regina said, “But that’s the past.”

“Air through the engine,” Killian agreed. “Besides, we understand each other, don’t we?”

“That depends on whether or not you brought me what I asked for.”

“As Her Majesty commands, then,” Killian said with another flourish. Behind him, Ursula and Robin carried Gold. He was bound and gagged. His suit jacket was torn. His shoes were scuffed. There was a large bruise rising on his jaw from where Emma had clocked him.

Regina’s eyes lit up with interest but she said, “That’s not what I paid you for.”

“It’s not,” Killian agreed. “But it’s all you’re getting.” He held up the compass so that it glinted in the sunlight.

Regina moved, as if to stretch out her hand for the compass. “So he really had it, then.”

“He did,” Killian said. “Reckon that’s how he’s been listening in all of this time, collecting his leverage. Making his deals. But now you have him, and I’ll be keeping this.”

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll take Gold, take the ship, take it up into the black and see if he floats when I push him out of the airlock.”

Regina’s expression soured.

“That was not part of our deal,” she said. “You know, Jones, that I can take back everything I’ve given you. I can up the warrants on your head. On your crew’s heads--”

“But you won’t,” Killian said, gesturing at Gold. “This discharges my debt to you, Regina. And this--” he shook the compass for emphasis “--makes us even. Gold doesn’t have it anymore. You come after me or any of us--ever--and I doubt the boy will take kindly to that. Not when his mother will be sailing with us from now on and leaving the employ of the Federation.”

It was Killian’s turn to smile.

“We both made out on this deal, Regina. Don’t complicate things. Not between us, not when the boy is involved. You take Gold. We’ll keep this. Emma can see her son, and we will continue to work for you when the opportunity suits. Everybody wins.”

Emma moved so that they were shoulder-to-shoulder and took his hand in hers. She squeezed it and felt his hand twist until his fingertips brushed her wrist.

Regina watched them, her expression bemused.

“That’s how it is, then?”

“Depends,” Killian said, making an exaggerated shrug. “She hit me.”

“Knowing you, I’m sure you deserved it,” Regina said with a smirk. “I keep Henry?”

It broke Emma’s heart, but Regina was his best chance.

At least now she knew where he was--would be able to see him, to be a part of his life.

“Yes,” she said. “He stays here, with you.”

A tension she hadn’t realized was there left Regina’s posture then, and Emma felt herself relax in turn.

“We understand each other, also, Regina,” Emma said.

“Thank you, Miss Swan.” Regina gestured.

Emma heard footsteps; she closed her eyes and caught her breath and, finally, turned.

Henry was racing toward her--toward them--and wrapped himself around her with a shriek.

Behind her, Emma heard Killian say, “Are you always this sentimental?”

“You caught me on a good day,” Regina said.

Emma had been beaten, tortured and used--had broken her own heart, given up her job and her life and fallen in with criminals and spies.

But her son was in her arms and the man she loved was by her side.

It wasn’t much.

But it was enough.

A good day, indeed.

-30-

@quirkykayleetam​

[takaraphoenix]

Ursula for the character ask game 💜💜

Thanks for playing! Ursula, like The Little Mermaid Ursula? Thaaat is a fun, new one :O

favorite family dynamic: okay, so here’s a far stretch, but Once Upon a Time actually DID go with the discarded Disney canon that Ursula is Triton’s sister and considering OUaT also... unvillified Ursula, I mean, completely, and made it so that she actually... wasn’t even Ariel’s villain, I really do think that OUaT!Ursula and OUaT!Ariel would have SUCH a fascinating aunt-niece dynamic with each other, considering they basically used The Little Mermaid 3 plotline on Ursula

brOTP: mh, I did love her and Maleficent and I think that could have been a great friendship en large

OTP: okay, hear me out, I haven’t fully thought this through but you’ll find the reasoning in my favorite headcanon section beneath to explain, but Doctor Facilier is my favorite ship for her for the below reasons

OT3: I don’t think I have one

NOTP: I genuinely do not know who she’d be shipped with

favorite character trait: she has flair, I really do love that whole thing she has going with the contracts; everybody knows what they’re signing and if by the point of seeking out a sea witch you don’t know what you’re signing up, it’s kind of your own fault

least favorite character trait: going by OUaT!Ursula, too forgiving. I really did not like how quick she was to hug Poseidon after what he put her through

faceclaim (if not adapted)/favorite adaptation: I adore OUaT!Ursula so I do go with her, but I do think that Ursula should have a few pounds on her, seriously stop erasing my fat rep guys (I also think that Melissa McCarthy is a huge miscast for Ursula because Ursula is not a comedic character, she is a dramatic character and I have never in her life seen Melissa play a dramatic character...)

favorite headcanon about them: now to get back to the OTP. You see, I have this headcanon that in Descendants Uma, Freddie and Celia are full-blooded siblings, partially born out of the fact that China Anne used to voice Freddie before being cast as Uma and then was replaced by her sister in the voice-acting of Freddie, which had me think “hey, it’d be fun if they were siblings in canon too” and then there was Celia, who I think is adorable and would be such a cool little sister for Uma too, so to make those three siblings, Facilier/Ursula have to be a thing, and more than just a one-night-stand too considering how far apart Celia and Uma are, but also Descendants!Facilier seems like a really cool guy from what little we know, he does seem to care greatly about Celia and isn’t one of the parents who fully abandoned their children, so I do think that I ship Descendants!Facilier/OUaT!Ursula

godly parent in a Percy Jackson AU: Poseidon! A PJO AU is shamelessly used to make that discarded Disney canon canon again! Ursula, daughter of Poseidon, sister of Triton!

Send me a character and I’ll tell you