problemswithbooks · 1 year ago
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I knew Stain was gonna die because he wasn’t a LoV villain but I'm still bummed.
Like he wanted to die, so he got what he wanted, but I sorta hoped it would be a bit more heroic, I guess. I mean, he honestly didn't do anything helpful except cheer on All Might and get killed. Just like with his past contribution, he could have been removed, and nothing changes.
I will forever be disappointed we never got tenya meeting him again or even thinking about him given this was supposed to be the villain redemption arc.
I also find it funny that so far, he's the only villain that has died trying to actually stop AfO/trying to do good. Like yes, Toga might have died saving Ochako, but it was from a wound she gave her. Meanwhile, Touya might have had his last breath, wishing his family was dead.
I'm just bummed it was so pointless and quickly moved on from. It wasn't even the end of the chapter. AfO turns him into juice, and that's the end of it--on to All Might, thinking of his other dead friends.
Which, yes All Might is far more important then Stain, but it does make it feel as if Hori just tossed him in so AfO got a kill and he tied up a lose end as fast as possible.
Given the past villain death scare chapters, I know hori can do touching ends. Like it would not have killed him to have a one panel flash back of Stain as a kid holding an All Might doll when he thinks about how he didn’t even have a high school education. It would have humanized him before becoming a blood splatter and renforced that villains used to be kids once.
Instead, we get panels of him sniffing blood on rocks. 😒
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punkcherries · 1 year ago
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sonic prime so cool ............
#cherryz txt#me shaking netflix WHERES the rest of it!!!!!!!!! (in due time. hopefully.)#i hate u streaming services and ur power to kill the things i love....................#sonic#sonic prime spoilers#<- in the following tags. be wary .#sonic and shadows interactions have been so delightful . i wish sega let shadow have friends and like Feelings#sonics writing overall has been very good . very people-focused trying to save everyone he can but just#very ahead of himself and how that lack of forethought causes so many of the conflicts for him#very inline for yknow . fastest hedgehog around.#REALLY enjoy seeing him look like a sad wet puppy when shit goes to fuck . boy just wants to go home!!!!!!!!!#i do wonder if something insane will happen if all the shatterversions of characters congregate#like . we didnt See thorn interact directly with rusty or black rose. just that the latter 2 saw her and were like Woah...................#also . i love u nine . baby son . he wanted to show sonic his lil grim home so bad and then sonic wasnt into his idea and im SADDD#HE HAD LIL PALM TREES!!!!!!!!! WAHH.............#the way nine talks about what might happen to him after the prism is in 1 piece in ghost hill makes me wonder also#the shatterspaces are implied to essentially be the product of original green hill being torn to bits .#so one would assume thats true for the characters in them yea? so does nine think he might get 'absorbed' into og tails?#theres always been a vibe to me that all the shatterversions of the cast are essentially like . distinct aspects of their whole characters#in some way anyhow . like a pirate for knuckles makes sense as a kind of manifestation of his focus on like#defending the master emerald . in a world Without the master emerald hes essentially crazy for any replacement he can get?#so its interesting to think that nine could in a similar vein be like tails' resentment of being Just a wingman#and the frustration of being picked on as a babby . and how that might tie into a feeling of like#'i would be nothing without sonic' bcus sonic was the one to stand up for him back then right?#INTERESTING. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! idk if any of tihs holds any water im just brain vomitting at this point but WAHHH#obviously all the shatterversions are and wish to be seen as their own individual people but like. NARRATIVELY speaking#u know?????? u understand. ive decided this for u the person reading this You Understand.
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sunlightontheseaa · 1 year ago
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Getting pretty close to the end of odyssey I feel, and jfc the shit i have to go through to keep my idiot asshole brothers alive.
The whole second encounter with Stentor I was like... It's rotten work. Especially to me, especially if it's you. I'll do it but christ alive
And Alexios. Jfc where do I even begin. Im like, you're gonna be my fuckin friend whether you like it or not idc. I love you bitch, die mad about it!
I am dragging everyone kicking and screaming into being a family and it's pretty funny
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476b · 11 months ago
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#ooouuuugghhhhhhh ive spend the last hour making myself sad :(#whyd i have to go catch feelings for someone who Could Not Give A Shit lol#its a blessing that im moving or i would probably just slowly kill myself for the next year#watching him Very Obviously like someone more than me lol#worst part is everyone knows im just some sadsack sidepiece#and like we were never 'together' so idk wtf im upset about!!!#i could go out and do just as much as he does!!!#but i guess i just wish it had been different and that i had gotten closer w everyone else before i had to leave :(#because now i really feel like i could have been spending way more time w everyone if i had stopped waiting for him to invite me to things#he never invited me to shit anyways!! i was ALWAYS the one to ask 'hey are you free sometime'#EVERY SINGLE TIME#killing him with hammers in my mind#i deserve so much better and i KNOW that but hes hot and smart and has such cool friends#and i just really wanted to be part of that group so badly#and i dont have any relationship expirience i dont know how all of this is supposed to Work i just#i dont know i guess i thought it would be different#anyways im seeing him again tomorrow for what might be the last time#and i wont tell him any of the things i should bc ill see his stupid beautiful face and forget everything i wanted to say#you know this mother fucker wont even help me move? more than an entire year together and he flat out says no to helping me#and i know for a Fact he'll never come visit me#and ill probably drive my stupid little ass down two+ hours just to see him#you know hes got at least two guys willing to drive hours just for him#i need to meet this other guy so we can unionize#cus i guarenteeeee hes probably treating this guy not much better than me#and i say probably the last time bc now itll be reliant on him actually making a fucking effort to see me lol#or itll just be at shows and stuff#not like itll make a big difference cus we onky saw each other once or twice a month ANYWAYS#actually makes me so angry why did i spend so much mental energy on this guy#ILL FIND SOMEONE IN ALBANY WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKES ME JUST YOU GUYS WAIT#btw if i know you irl... ignore this... its shameful...
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borathae · 2 months ago
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If I Was Your Boyfriend
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"If he was your boyfriend, he would give you the actual world. Sadly he is just your best friend with the biggest unrequited crush ever."
Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader
Genre: Unrequited Crush!AU, Idiots in Love!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU, Slice of Life, Fluff, Romance
Warnings: OC is scared of a bug (me fr), he kills it for her, he would do anything for her, yearning, unrequited feelings (? mhhm ?), listen. he may be a lil bit dense when it comes to reading signs jsjjss bless his heart, i need him as my boyfriend, so much tension between them, jsjsjs this is pure torture i want them to kiss!!, brief mention of adult toys, miscommunication because he suuucks at love confessions, protective & slightly jealous!Kook, he is the greenest flag though like seriously, the happiest end hihi, the inspo was seven mv kook, she is shorter than him because i have the hugest size kink with him and this is so self-indulgent <3, once again i need him as my boyfie
Wordcount: 10.5k
a/n: sometimes i have ideas for one specific trope without wanting to write the whole book lmaooo, so enjoy this lil slow burn fluff scenario which is so self-indulgent and fanfiction coded. also, it was inspired by a real life event where i found a bug in my bed and i had to kill it on my own :( i was being very brave about it 😔 ps: this is very unrealistic 'cause like why would you only be best friends with HIM? that wouldn't be an unrequited crush if that was me. happy birthday to kookie 💛
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The call comes around two at night. Jungkook picks up with the first ring. He was working out before that.
“Hello? Are you okay?” he asks, resting his head against the edge of the sofa as he is currently sitting on the floor. He was doing sit ups before that, trying his hardest to regulate his sped-up breathing right now.
“Kook, please help me.”
Jungkook sits up straight.
“Where are you? Are you safe?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s following me. I locked it inside my room but I can still hear it.”
“Stay with me, I’m getting dressed”, he says, jumping to his feet to hurry to his front door.
“Please hurry please. I’m so scared.”
“I’m coming, don’t worry. Are you home?”
“Yes. Hurry please.”
“I’m coming, stay strong. Yeah?”
“Yes, thank you”, you say and end the call.
Jungkook curses, shoving the phone into his pants pocket. He puts on his jacket as he runs down the hallway and puts on his beanie once he is inside the elevator. He is restless in the small space, wishing for it to go quicker. It’s too slow.
“Come on, come on”, he stresses it, knowing that it is fruitless.
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You are his best friend. Well, at least that is what you would call him. Best friend. Jungkook sees so much more in you. His best friend, his person of trust, his crush. He would never tell you his feelings because he doesn’t want to make it awkward. But if there were no consequences for speaking up, Jungkook would tell you that you are his dream girl. You are funny, sweet, caring, talented, intelligent, wonderful, perfect, amazing, beautiful, pretty, stunning. Yes, Jungkook thinks that you are all of these things and more. When he is close to you, his heart races and he wants to keep looking at your face. When you are sad, he wants to make you happy again and when you smile, he wants to keep it on your face. When you aren’t with him, he misses you and when you are with him, he hopes that time stops passing. You are the person he updates on the most mundane of things and whose text messages always bring a quick flutter to his chest. Your voice is the voice he could listen to for hours and your face is the face he doesn’t get tired of staring at when you and he video chat late night till you and he both run out of things to say. And at the same time, you are the person with whom Jungkook never runs out of things to talk about, if he didn’t have to breathe, he would continue to babble to you until your ears wore off. Jungkook swears that if there were no consequences for his words, he would tell you all of this. 
But alas, there are consequences and so Jungkook is left keeping his true feelings hidden.
The outcome of tonight’s phone call obviously wouldn’t have changed whether or not he had romantic feelings for you. Jungkook loves you as a friend as well. And he will always be there for his friends. Especially when they are clearly scared by something.
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Jungkook rings your bell. You open the door as if you were waiting for him, grabbing him by his wrists to drag him inside. Jungkook’s entire body flutters at the feeling of your touch. 
“Finally you are here. Come in quick, please”, you tell him.
You must have been sleeping already. You are in your pyjamas and have no make-up on. Jungkook swears that you have never looked more beautiful before. 
“What happened? Did someone break in?” he asks instead of telling you that you are beautiful.
“Worse.”
“Worse?”
“Kook, there is a huge bug in my room. Please kill it.”
Jungkook stops in his tracks. You call him over for that? You stop when you feel his strength all of a sudden, looking over your shoulder. He has his right brow cocked up.
“What?” you stress.
“You give me a heart attack for that?”
“What? Of course. It’s a bug.”
Jungkook sighs in annoyance, “seriously?”
“Yes, seriously.” You round him to shove him by his back. “Kill it for me, please Kook.”
“Fine, I’ll kill it”, he gives up and groans, letting you shove him to your bedroom. Jungkook would never dare to think this way, but right now he wished that you were shoving him to your room for something else. Nothing dirty of course, just cuddles. Lots of cuddles. He would literally trade both his kidneys so he could hold you in his arms until you fall asleep just once. He would make sure that you were warm and that you felt safe in his embrace. He would kiss your face and tell you sweet nothings like how he thinks of you when he listens to love songs and how he wishes that it was you and he whenever he sees a romantic scene in a movie.
God, Jungkook is so done for. 
“Where is this stupid bug?” he acts annoyed to make the yearning a little easier. It is difficult when you have your hands on his back and they are so, so warm.
“In there.” You open the door carefully and look around. “Follow me”, you say, tiptoeing into your room.
Jungkook follows you, smiling fondly. You are cute when you are acting like this. 
“Where is it?” he asks, trying his hardest not to think about how he wants to snuggle you for being cute.
“I don’t know. It was right there when I last saw it.”
“Maybe it’s already gone.”
“No, it was-” 
The bug flies past you, you scream instantly, jumping at Jungkook for help.
“The bug! Eeeek Kooook! I hate bugs!” you squeak, hiding away in his chest.
Jungkook hopes that you can’t feel his racing pulse, because it is racing. You never touched him like this before, let alone snuggled so close to him. 
Act cool. Act cool. Act cool. 
He wraps one arm around you, patting the back of your head. 
“There, there you big baby”, he teases.
“I hate bugs so much”, you whine, snuggling closer.
He glances down at you, feeling every beat his heart takes.
Act cool! Act cool! Act cool!
What if he wrapped both arms around you? Would that go too far? He wouldn’t mean anything dirty behind it, he just really wants to hug you and feel you melt in his arms.
“Kill it, Kook please”, you whine and move your head so you were looking up at him. Your eyes lock.
Jungkook bites down on his tongue, forgetting to breathe for just a few moments.
ACT COOL! ACT COOL! ACT COOL!
What if he cupped your face right here and now to kiss your nose and cheeks and forehead and chin and lips and eyes? What if he did that?
“Please kill it.”
“I am, you gotta let go for that”, he gets out, surprised at how normal his voice sounds eventhough he is currently losing his mind.
Please don’t let go. Please don’t let go. 
You let go. Disappointment from his side. You hide behind him and grab his waist for moral support. Butterflies in his tummy, his knees buckle a little. Holy moly. Holy moly. Wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. 
“You’re seriously so brave for this”, you tell him.
“Yeah, yeah or maybe you’re just a scaredy cat.”
He has no idea how he is able to talk properly right now when you have him literally messed up. 
Jungkook inches close to where the bug is sitting on the wall while his thoughts and heart are racing. He has to act nonchalant about the situation. You are only holding him like this because you are scared.
“Do you have a shoe?” he asks you, hating his hand for shaking when he presents it to you.
You bend down and take off your right slipper, “will this do?” 
“Perfect.” 
Jungkook takes the slipper and carefully moves closer to the bug. Your fingers tighten on his waist.
“Careful now”, you comment.
“I am” he gets out, concentrating vigorously. He can’t mess up now, you are counting on him. 
“Almost there. Almost there”, you cheer him on.
Jungkook slams the shoe down. The bug has no chance of escape. You scream.
“Gotcha.”
“Did you get it? Is it dead? Kook, is it dead?”
Jungkook lifts the slipper and looks at the squished bug on its sole. He shows it to you.
“Dead.”
“Yay, it’s dead. Ew how nasty, you can see the intestines.”
“Right. Give me a minute, I’m cleaning it.”
“Use acid for it. Just to be sure it doesn’t come back.
He chuckles, “sure, I’ll use acid.”
He leaves you in your bedroom to hurry to the bathroom. 
Your apartment is familiar to him. He spends a lot of time here. Mostly to chill on your couch and watch shows with you. Sometimes you also cook dinner together and then eat it by the table, while other times you do a workout together. Seriously, you are his fucking dream girl. 
One time as you and he were cooking together, he needed something from the shelf above you, but you couldn’t step away from the stove. So he got it while you were right in front of him and his chest brushed against your back and he swears that he heard your breath hitch for a moment. Jungkook wanted to hug you back then. When you later that evening turned to let him taste the cooking only to use the same fork to taste it yourself, Jungkook almost kissed you. 
One time when you were watching a show, you got cold hands and Jungkook offered to warm them for you. He didn’t think you would accept, but you did and so he ended up with your cold hands under his hoodie as you warmed them up on his skin. Jungkook swears that he wanted to pin you against the sofa and kiss your cute face back then.
One time when you were doing a workout together, you struggled with a movement and asked him for help. He ended up having to hold you by your hips as he guided you through the movement. He wanted to flip you and kiss you senseless back then. 
He never felt like this before. He was scared of these feelings at first, but now he can’t get enough. You are a foodie, a romance lover and a lover for couple workouts and it’s so impossible for him not to be in love. You are seriously his dream girl. There is no fucking way around this.
Jungkook knows that tonight will be such a memory as well. the kind of memory which tingles, but which also makes him regret that he didn’t act differently. When you cuddled into him, he wanted to hug you properly. When you grabbed his waist he wanted to turn in your grasp and kiss you against the door. But he knows that he can’t. He would ruin what you are having and he could never get over this heartbreak.
Jungkook looks at your toothbrush as he cleans the shoe. Sometimes he thinks about how it would feel to be represented in your bathroom as the second toothbrush right next to yours.  
Jungkook bites down on his tongue, burning holes into the empty space next to your toothbrush. He would put so much effort into taking care of himself so you could always look at the best version of him. He would do skincare nights with you. He would try out hair masks with you and rub body lotion on the spots you can’t reach. He would brush his teeth, floss them and use mouthwash religiously just so his kisses would always taste good. He would do all of this if it meant you had an attractive boyfriend.
Jungkook looks away. He is doing it again, he is getting delusional. He shouldn’t do that. It isn’t his right. 
He turns off the water and leaves the bathroom so he could return the slipper to you.
You are in the kitchen, looking at him instantly.
“Is it gone?” you ask him.
“Yup, it’s gone. Your slipper.”
“Thank you seriously. You just saved my life”, you say and lift a bottle of his favorite beer. “Thank You Beer?”
He shakes his head, “I need to drive.”
“Okay. Then a Thank You Water?”
“Yeah, I can drink that.”
Jungkook accepts the offer because he can stay with you longer that way.
“Coming right up. Get comfy in the meantime.”
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Jungkook waits on the sofa, but stands up when you come inside the room. He accepts the water and sits back down. You plop down right in front of him, pulling your legs onto the pillow. Your knees are almost touching the side of thigh.
“You seriously saved my ass tonight. I was already in bed when I felt something tickle my arm and then I turned on the lights and it was right on my arm. I screamed so loud, you have no idea.”
“That sounds traumatic.”
“It was traumatic.” You shudder. “I hate bugs.”
Jungkook laughs softly.
“What? Are you laughing at me?”
“No, just laughing ‘cause I agree. You really hate bugs.”
“I do. Awful things, seriously.”
He laughs and you laugh as well. Your eyes meet again. He takes a sip of his water then asks a question which scares him a little.
“Why did you call me?”
“Why not?”
“I, I mean”, he stutters, feeling his heart do somersaults.
“You were my first thought. It’s probably because you’re always keeping me safe.”
Jungkook swears he wants to kiss you right now. He is the first person you think of when you need help. He is your safe person. Wow, wow, wow.
“Is that weird to say?” you ask him shyly.
“Not at all”, he gets out in a terribly hoarse voice.
“Okay phew. I knew that I could count on you.”
Jungkook gives you a smile. One you retort with a vast glance at his lips.
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Jungkook brings the empty glass to the kitchen to clean it after he finishes it. You follow him. 
“You don’t have to clean that”, you tell him, trying to reach for the glass but he moves it away.
“I got it”, he assures you, looking at you over his arm.
You and he are so close again. He can’t stop looking into your eyes. He knows that he is delusional, but in his mind, your eyes are so bright when you look at him. But it’s not real and he is acting stupid when he is staring like that. He turns his head away, blind to the few more seconds your eyes seem to linger on his face.
“What were you doing when I called you?” you ask him, watching his hands as he washes the glass.
“Working out.”
“Really? At this time?”
“That’s when I get energised.”
“Of course you do. What were you doing?”
“Just stuff on the floor.”
“Nice. Like push ups and stuff?”
“Yeah and sit ups.”
“That’s cool.” 
He has his back turned to you, putting away the glass. He is wearing a white oversized shirt, but the movement makes it stick to his body, showing not only his skinny waist but also his built, muscular back. His shoulders grew so much over the past seven months. (Seven months ago was when you decided to download a dating app and told Jungkook about it. Jungkook started working out harder since then.) 
He closes the cupboard and turns. 
“Something wrong?” he asks, somehow oblivious to your stares. 
“Nothing, no uhm.” You look to the side. “You probably wanna leave now?”
He doesn’t want to leave.
“If you still need me here, I can stay”, he offers.
Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.
“Really?”
He nods his head, giving you a sweet smile with teeth. He would do anything for you, even mess up his sleep schedule.
“Maybe there is another bug, you know?” you say, playing with your own fingers shyly.
His heart is jumping in joy. He can stay longer. 
“That could be possible, yeah. Should we check?” he offers as calmly as possible.
“Yeah, please.”
Yay! Yay! Yay!
“I know I sound so stupid.”
“You don’t. Come on, I’ll check.”
You and he go to your bedroom together. Jungkook wants to hold your hand, but knows that he can’t. You close the door to your bedroom. His pulse flutters for a moment. In another lifetime, this would be the moment you pull him into a kiss. But Jungkook knows that stupid things like different lifetimes are stuff of movies, not reality.
He has to act as your best friend who doesn’t have a crush on you if he wanted to or not. He lifts your blanket and shakes it out.
“No bugs”, he comments.
“That’s good, yeah. I should probably check the pillows.”
You crawl onto bed and make it your job to flip each individual pillow. Jungkook looks at you for a moment. He hates that things like different lifetimes are stuff of movies. Because in a different lifetime, he jumps onto bed with you to hug you. He listens to your giggle and makes you giggle even harder by tickling your sides.
You, oblivious to his longing stares, flip yet another pillow. 
“No bugs here, thank god. I probably sound insane to you, but I’m actually so scared that there’s a whole bug family in this room.”
“You don’t sound insane. I’ll take care of them if we find them.”
“You’re seriously my hero.”
Jungkook is thinking. Maybe he could still make you laugh, he thinks. Not by showering you in skinship, but differently. 
“Hey, check this out”, he says.
“What? Did you find another bug?!” you gasp, whipping around instantly.
“I’m a bug. Bzzz”, he says and jumps onto bed, flapping his arms as if he was a bug flying.
You cough out air, following it up with a loud laugh.
Jungkook flops onto his back and wiggles his limps.
“Now I’m flipped onto my back and can’t get up”, he says, squirming from side to side stupidly. “Help me. Bzzzz.”
You laugh to the point it becomes just a little ugly and way too loud. At least you would call it that. Jungkook calls it the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. He loves to be goofy when it means that he can make you laugh. Some people call him childish and tell him to act his age, but Jungkook doesn’t care about these people because you love the way he is. You always smile and laugh so much when he gets goofy and childish and it is so worth every rude comment he gets. One time, he played around with a snapback hat, acting silly with it until you cackled loudly. Another time he showed you a card trick with goofy sound effects, basking in the giggles you gave him. He knows that he looks stupid in these moments, but he would literally turn into a silly jester if it meant that you could laugh just one more time.
“Help me, I’m a bug and I can’t get up”, he whines dramatically.
“Wait, I’ll help you”, you joke and place your hands on his torso. One on his chest, the other on his stomach.
He tenses up like a board of wood, forgetting all about being silly. His limbs drop, as does his heart. You are touching him! This never happened before when he acted goofy. What should he do? What is the correct reaction to this?
“Why are you such a heavy bug? I can’t flip you”, you are still being playful with him, but Jungkook can’t find humour anymore. He is starstruck. 
He chuckles deeply, letting out a breathy, “yeah.” 
You glance at him. The second your eyes meet, his heart is racing. You are so fucking beautiful. 
“Heh”, he lets out and places his hand over yours, eyes flitting to your lips unknowingly.
“Hm”, you let out, studying his gazing eyes. Your lips feel kissed just from his look. 
“Mhm”, he hums and smiles, shimmying his head just a little closer to you. He feels your minty breath swirl over his face like this, squeezing your hand in reaction. What if he just did it? What if he just kissed you right here and now?
Your smile falls.
“Sorry”, you whisper, pulling your hands back and sitting up. 
Jungkook gasps for air, coming back to reality. What was this moment? Is he going crazy? Why would he do that?
Your eyes meet for a brief second then you look away again, rubbing the side of your neck.
Jungkook sits up, “I should, uhm, probably check under the bed too, right?” he tries to change topics and rolls over to stick his head under the bed. He might die of heart palpitations.
There are a few boxes under the bed, some shoe boxes and an exposed adult toy. Jungkook does a double take. Oh god, panic.
Jungkook shoots back up, staring at you with big eyes.
“What?”
“You uhm…”
“What?” You crawl to the edge and bend down to look, shooting up again within a second, “What did you see??”
His entire face flushes, he looks to the side instantly, right hand coming to rub the side of his neck. Your entire face feels on fire, you want to die on the spot.
“I, I didn’t see anything I swear”, he stutters.
“Kook, please don’t remember this”, you insist, shaking him by his shoulders.
“It’s seriously fine”, he assures you, panicking so so much.
“This is so embarrassing.”
“No, it’s okay. Sorry for invading your space like that.”
“I’m actually gonna cry, please don’t remember this”, you beg him.
“I didn’t even see anything”, he lies, feeling his heart give up. For real, it will give up. He feels so guilty. You are so upset and uncomfortable and it’s all his fault. “I’m sorry.”
“No you, I guess, I don’t know, I just”, you stutter, unable to form any coherent sentences.
Jungkook feels just as awkward as you, suddenly needing to stand up.
“I think I should go”, he says.
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s getting late.”
“Oh, yeah. Totally.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. You fucked it. You are internally panicking, blind to the fact that Jungkook is panicking as well.
His face is so red and it’s making him scared that you can see it. He doesn’t want you to think that he is imagining you like that, because he really isn’t. But for just a second it crossed his mind and it managed to dye his face so red that he feels like crying. Of course he wants to stay with you. Of course he wants to spend every single second of this night with you, talking and laughing and looking at you, but he might not be able to get rid of this blush right now. He needs to leave.
You follow behind him, panicking more and more. You let him put on his shoes and his beanie, you watch him close his jacket unable to say anything. You swear that you always clean up after yourself, but you were busy this morning and forgot to put it away after sanitizing it. Jungkook was never supposed to see it. Not him. Everyone but him.
“I’ll text you once I’m home”, Jungkook tells you.
“You’re not disgusted now, are you?” you finally get the scary words out.
“What?”
You are both dragging out the inevitable. 
“I don’t know, just…I tried the dating app stuff. I met people, you know?”
Jungkook feels like dying when you talk about this stuff. He stands in the apartment complex hallways, looking at you as you tell him about your hook ups and he wants to fucking die as he does. He has been loyal to you ever since he started this stupid crush on you. Of course he knows that it is impossible of him to expect the same from you. But he has been so fucking loyal to you that you literally broke his heart seven months ago when you told him about your newest download. He wasn’t strong enough to get over his crush, so now he dies all over again each time you tell him about your hook-ups.
“And it just felt weird. I couldn’t do it”, you confess.
“Really?” suddenly what happened before is wiped from his mind. You never went through with it? His loyalty was reciprocated? Jungkook knows that he is being so delusional right now and yet he still hangs on to your every word like a worshipper of your syllables, staring at your lips as you talk.
“Yeah, but I still have needs, you know? Oh god, why did I say that? This didn’t make it better. Just forget I ever said anything.”
“I, I didn’t hear anything”, Jungkook stutters, feeling weak-kneed. The wall between him being a good person and a reckless person is as fragile as a sheet of fresh ice. One wrong step from you and he might actually confess how he really feels.
“Okay good, let’s keep it at that.” You push at his chest. Jungkook swears he actually whimpers as you do it. “Go home and let us forget about all of this, please.”
Should he do it? Should he be reckless?
You step back, now standing in your apartment.
Do it! Open, mouth!
“Text me once you’re home, okay?”
“Okay.”
No! This isn’t the right thing to say! Be reckless!
“Thank you for tonight, sleep tight.”
“Sweet dreams.”
Tell her! Fucking tell her!
The door closes.
Jungkook falls out of his fearful trance, gasping for air. His heart tells him to knock for another chance, his mind tells him not to. He turns and leaves, hitting his own head as punishment for being the most stupid person that ever existed. Tonight could have gone so well. He could have had more time with you, he got the confirmation that you never tried the dating app thing, he had everything and he has to ruin it by being a creep. Why did he look under your bed? That’s where most people store their sexy stuff. Why did he have to make you uncomfortable? What if you never want to see him again? What if he ruined your friendship without ever doing the one thing he always wished to ruin it with? In his dreams he always ruined it by confessing his feelings, but his reality was because he was a creep.
Jungkook cries in his car on his way home. He forgets about texting you and spends a sleepless night regretting his choices.
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Maybe he did fall asleep, otherwise it would be impossible for his phone to rip him awake the next day. He barely opens his puffy eyes at first, but opens them widely when he sees that it is you calling him.
“Hello?” he picks up hastily.
“Oh thank god. You didn’t text me last night and I was worried.”
The text! Jungkook slaps his own forehead, sitting up straight.
“I’m so sorry, I…”
“It’s okay, I already had a gist that you forgot”, you assure him, “do you have time?” 
“Of course, what’s up?”
“You know, uhm.” You laugh in embarrassment. “Last night was a mess, wasn’t it?”
“No uhm, it’s fine.”
“You wouldn’t be down for a grocery trip with barbeque and beer afterwards, would you? My treat, as an apology for traumatising you.”
“Of course, I would. Today?”
“Yes, in like two hours? I’ll get off work soon and could go straight to the store.”
You and Jungkook often go grocery shopping together. You already have a favourite store to go to. Jungkook loves these moments. He loves to carry the heavy bags for you and get the stuff you can’t reach. He loves to push the cart while you tell him about your day and then load the groceries into the bags with you. In another lifetime, you and he push the cart together and he steals kisses between aisles. In another lifetime, he holds your hand and the bags in the other. And in another lifetime, you and he go to your apartment to cook dinner for date night on the couch. Jungkook really wishes to live a different life sometimes.
“Two hours sounds great”, he agrees in a cool voice even if he wants to squeal. He gets to go grocery shopping with you! How amazing!
“Nice, then we’ll see each other there.”
“Yes, we’ll see each other. I’m really excited for it.”
“Me too. See you later, yeah? My boss is coming back.”
“See you later. Good luck at work.” 
“Thanks, Kook. Bye bye.”
Goodbye, my everything, my dream girl, my love. He thinks.
“Bye.” He says.
The phone call ends. Jungkook drops back into the pillow and lets out a yelp of celebration, following it up with excessive kicking and punching of the air as well as  squeaky giggles. 
He didn’t ruin everything and he will see you in two hours. Today is the best day of his life! But wait! Jungkook gasps and jumps out of bed.
“I need to get ready! Shower and wash my hair and pick an outfit! And do my skincare and brush my teeth! There is so much to do, oh god” he talks to himself, running through his apartment.
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You are pacing in front of the store. Jungkook isn’t late, you are just early. Early enough to become painfully aware of your nervousness. You wonder how it will be between the two of you after last night. You could barely fall asleep because you were so embarrassed. Work didn’t distract you either, your thoughts kept repeating what had happened last night. You hope that he doesn’t look at you differently after what he had to see. It would literally ruin you.
Jungkook is your best friend. But if someone asked you honestly, you would say that he is the boy of your dreams. He is everything you ever dreamed of and everything you will never be able to have. He is too perfect for you. If there were no consequences for your actions, you would tell him how you really feel. You would tell him that you think that he is the most attractive man and person you have ever seen, that he is the kindest soul with the sweetest heart. That he is talented and amazing and the funniest person ever. And that you feel safe with him. 
You would tell him that every time he comes to your place or you to his’ and you spend time together, you wish that it was a date instead. You want to tell him that every time your bodies touch, your heart jumps out of your chest. You want to tell him that you keep repeating all the moments with him over and over again and that sometimes at work, you text him because you can’t stop thinking about him. You also want to tell him that you thought about killing the bug yourself before deciding to call Jungkook just to have him close.
And the worst of it all? You want to tell Jungkook that the only reason why you downloaded the dating app was to get over your feelings for him because you knew that someone as perfect as Jungkook would never want to have you. But actions have consequences and so you call him your best friend whilst secretly wishing for him to just be reckless and kiss you.
Jungkook appears on the horizon, swerving through the crowd in a stoic expression. Your heart speeds up instantly. He is wearing black pants with a stripped shirt and a black jacket today. His hair falls on soft waves, his skin glows in the sun. He is so dreamy and handsome. 
His eyes find you in front of the store, his face lights up and he lifts his arm to wave at you. You wave back, bouncing on your tiptoes. He saw you! He is waving at you! 
He hurries through the crowd faster than before, reaching you within moments.
“Hey there”, he says.
“Hey”, you tell him and give him a hug. 
Jungkook short circuits. He gets no time to react before you already step back again. You just hugged him. Holy moly, wow. 
“Sorry, was that not okay?” you ask, studying his frozen features.
“What?” He flinches back to life. “No, it was amazing, I mean, it was okay. I uhm, I have this for you.”
He lifts a bouquet of sunflowers.
“Sunflowers? For me?”
“Yeah, I saw them and thought of you.”
“You did?”
You accept them with shortened breath and a quickened heart. You are currently screeching inside. You feel on cloud nine.
“A-as a best friend of course, because we’re best friends.”
“Oh. Yes.” You clear your throat. “We are. Thank you for the friendship flowers. I’ll put them in water once I’m home. Hopefully they’ll survive till then.” 
“I’m sure they will. That’s why I put the paper towel there.”
“I know, I saw. That’s so clever.”
“Yeah, thanks.” He does a little twirl so he stands next to you, hands stuffed into the pockets of his pants in a cute way. “So what do we need? Any particular groceries in mind?” 
You and he start walking to the store. He opens the door for you, holding it until you are inside. He follows and goes straight for the carts. You are next to him.
“Yes, I’m out of multigrain rice so I’m buying all of them to make my mixture again and I wanna stock up on udon because they have a sale going on.”
“Neat, a sale. I’ll get some too”, Jungkook says, leaning his elbows on the cart as he pushes it. “I wanna see if they have the lychees again. They were so yummy last time.”
“They were. Especially with that sauce you made.”
“I can make them for you again.”
“Really?” 
He nods his head, “sure, you could come over Saturday and we’ll watch a movie. I heard that there’s a few new movies to stream.”
“I should be free on Saturday.”
“Nice, then you’ll come over.”
You and he exchange a look, breaking it quickly to look at opposite sides. Unbeknownst to either, you are both panicking. Jungkook is so excited to have you come over but is also terribly nervous about the aspect of it. You can’t wait to visit Jungkook but are also scared of the yearning. 
A moment of silence where you each fill the cart with stuff you want. You and Jungkook always fill up the cart together and then separate the groceries afterwards. In another lifetime, you don’t need to separate the groceries. In another lifetime, you share the same bag and fill the same fridge to cook from the same pots and eat on your shared couch whilst a show was running. 
“How was your day?” Jungkook asks because other lifetimes don’t exist and in his real life, the only shared thing he gets with you is time.
“It was okay. Yours?”
“I woke up like two hours ago.”
You chuckle, “of course you sleep while I have to work my ass off.”
“Hey, I’m on a well-deserved break, I earned the night owl lifestyle”, he throws back, making you laugh with it.
“I’m not saying anything against it. I need a break soon.”
“Is work stressful?”
“Yeah, quite. There’s been lots of new projects coming in.”
“No, I’m sorry. If there is something I can do, let me know.”
You look at him. 
“I will, thank you.”
In another lifetime, you would hug his arm and rest your head against it and you would tell him that you don’t mind a stressful workday when it meant spending time with him afterwards. 
Jungkook meets your eyes. His heart flutters nervously, speeding up more when you look away. If he was your boyfriend, he would hold your hand and tell you that you looked beautiful after a long work day. 
“I like the way you did your hair today”, he says instinctively. He has no idea why he said that because he never says stuff like that to you. He panics because of it. His tongue worked quicker than his brain. 
You reach up to feel your hair, “you do?”
“Yes, it fits you really well.” 
“Thank you”, you murmur and cross a corner without warning, leaving him alone for a few seconds.
Jungkook follows after you hastily, confused as to why you so abruptly fled. Oh no. He went too far with the compliment. He definitely creeped you out again. 
You are squatting down in front of the grain section, reading the labels carefully. Jungkook parks the cart next to you, standing still. He tries not to, but still looks at you. You shift your eyes to him, widen them and look away again. Jungkook swears he might cry. He made you uncomfortable. 
“I’m sorry for saying that. I, I meant it as a friend.”
“Hm? Ah, it’s okay. Thank you for saying it, I liked it”, you say and stand up, filling the cart with the grain. Jungkook’s heart flutters happily. He didn’t mess up. Yay!
“Got everything you wanted?” he asks.
“Yep, except black rice. Do you see it somewhere?”
“Up there”, Jungkook says, pointing at it. The lower racks are empty, only the racks which are clearly for staff to reach so they could refill the store are stacked with the rice. 
“Nice.” You try to reach it, but fail. “Kook, can you get it?”
“Sure, let me”, he says, stepping right behind you to get the rice from the staff rack. His chest brushes against your back. You gasp. He feels dizzy, but acts nonchalant.
“There we go your….rice”, Jungkook says, eyes flitting down to you looking up at him. He didn’t even realise that you turned. 
There is almost no distance and so Jungkook tries to step back to be respectful because friends don’t stand this close. You grab him by his jacket, making him gulp and panic greatly. His left hand grabs the edge of the shelf, his chest lifts in a deep gasp. You are taller today because of the shoes you are wearing. The shortened distance between your lips is making him dizzy.
“About last night”, you begin, but he interrupts you before you apologise for something you have no reason to.
“It’s alright. I shouldn’t have snooped, I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t snoop, I just…I clean up, I was just busy and forgot and I”, you exhales deeply, “I’m not making it any better talking by about it, am I?”
He laughs softly and reaches down to cup your hand, caressing your knuckles softly. The lines blur more and more. You both feel weightless. You can smell his cologne like this, he can smell your perfume. It’s like you are high on each other.
“If it makes you feel any better, I have some toys too”, he says, making your eyes widen. You look to the side and let out a giggle. Jungkook knows that it is of shy nature and so he giggles with you. “Did that help or did I just embarrass myself for nothing?”
“No, it helped.” You meet his eyes, fingers squeezing his jacket. 
Jungkook holds his breath, fingers tightening on the shelf. He is being so greedy. It’s so unfair to you. 
“I, uhm.” He clears his throat and slips his hand from the shelf to present the rice to you. “Your rice.”
“Oh? Thanks, uhm, put it in the cart.” 
He steps back. Your hands slip from his jacket, his fingers stop holding you. They tingle in the memory of how it was to cradle you this way. His thoughts are racing, trying to calculate the weight of his confession. If he confessed, what would he lose? Your friendship, your time, the movie hangouts, the cooking together, the shared workouts, your texts and calls and video chats. All your laughter and smiles and giggles. Jungkook gulps. The loss is too great. He can’t confess. Nope, never. 
He grips the cart and pushes it, hoping that walking it off will help with the heart palpitations. You walk next to him, resting your hand on the metal cage part of the cart.
“Did you sleep well last night?” he asks you.
“Can I be honest? Not really. I was so embarrassed.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I’m just awkward.”
He chuckles, you chuckle with him. You give him a glance.
“I think I don’t have to ask you if you slept well at night because you never sleep at night.”
He laughs, you do as well.
“That’s not true. I can sleep at night too, I simply choose not to. Oh wait. I need buckwheat noodles.”
You and he stop in front of the section. You stay by the cart while Jungkook browses the options. 
“Should I make you makguksu?” he offers mindlessly.
“Today?”
“Yeah.”
“So you don’t wanna go for barbecue and beer?” You chuckle and nudge his arm, sending tingles all over his skin. “Did you already forget again, you doofus?”
“I might have.” He gives you a sorry, cute smile.
Jungkook makes you laugh with it.
“Kook, you little scatterbrain you”, you chuckle, leaning into him. 
Jungkook leans closer, placing his arm around your waist without touching you. In another lifetime, he would close the last distance. But not in reality. He looks at your lips, asking himself why you seek him out today and why he takes the chances so greedily. He shouldn’t do that. You are just friends, nothing more.
“Uh, sorry”, you say and step away again. 
Jungkook gulps, gasps for air. He doesn’t understand what today means, but whatever you are doing is actually messing with him. He hasn’t been able to breathe properly ever since that hug you gave him. You seem so clingy, but he doesn’t understand why. 
You grab the cart and push it.
“I think I have everything I need. You?”
“Yeah, yeah sure”, Jungkook stutters, stumbling after you like a lovesick puppy. He doesn’t know where to put his hands and so he ends up stuffing them into his pants pockets while his eyes are glued to the back of your head. He is seriously under your spell. Every part of him.
You load the groceries on the conveyor belt together and then load them into separate bags. You pay for all of them and wish the cashier a good day. Jungkook carries the bags like always, while you are allowed to walk freely with the bouquet of flowers cradled in your arms.
“I’ll pay you back at home”, he says, swerving outside as you hold the door open for him.
“Today’s on me. As a thank you for yesterday and an apology.”
“What? But I bought so much”, Jungkook gasps, pouting sadly.
“It’s fine. I have money.”
“But-”
“No buts. I’m paying.”
Jungkook pouts, huffing out air in defeat.
“Fine, but I’ll pay for your stuff too one day.”
You chuckle, “deal.” 
You and he walk together.
“You should really start accepting when I offer. It’s not a competition.”
“I just feel uncomfortable making you pay.”
“Why?”
Because you’re his dream girl and you should never have to pay for him. He should be your wallet whenever you are out together, he should fulfil your every wish. 
“I don’t know, just so. You work so hard for your money.”
“You work just as hard”, you say and chuckle. “Kook, you’re so competitive.”
Jungkook smiles, shaking his head in defeat. 
“I guess am.”
You grin, hugging the flowers tighter. With a little skip in your steps, you close the distance. Just enough that one small movement would be enough for your arms to brush. 
Jungkook glances at you. You are gazing at the flowers, smiling so brightly that your nose scrunches up. He could swear that your eyes are sparkling. 
The lines blur again. He wonders if it would be okay for him to be a bad person, if he was allowed to slip his hand into yours even if you never gave him consent for it. There is not much he can still take.
You lower your nose into the flowers and smell them, closing your eyes in a happy squint. The metaphorical glass of how much Jungkook can take floats over.
He says your name and knows that the next words are coming out of him before he can think them through.
“Yeah?” You look at him.
He is nervous and scared, but still talks, “can we talk about something?”
“Sure. What’s up?”
Panic. His situation finally sunk into his consciousness. 
“I uhm…uh…I have a crush on someone.”
Microexpressions wash over your face. Shock, surprise, disbelief, jealousy, hurt, friendliness. A smile curls your lips. It doesn’t reach your eyes.
“Yeah? It’s about time you do”, the words and your voice carry a hint of teasing, but most of all forced friendliness.
You lower the flowers, carrying them in one hand by your side. They look sad like this. Jungkook doesn’t notice because he is staring at the road in front of him because otherwise he would pass out in nervousness. He is almost twenty seven, but feels sixteen again.
“She’s like really, really great and awesome and amazing and wonderful and so kind and perfect”, Jungkook continues, heart racing to the point he feels dizzy. He saw this kind of confession in movies. He always thought that it was so cute when the guy did it. It isn’t obvious enough to ruin everything just in case you didn’t feel the same, but it is still cute enough that you can’t help but be giddy.
“Mh-hm”, you hum, nodding your head. 
“And I keep thinking about her. She is so pretty when she laughs and I love being in her presence. She likes my jokes and she always makes me laugh in return. Yeah…”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah, she is so great. I really wanna ask if she feels the same.” Jungkook falters in nervousness. He is going to ask the question. He is so scared. “If you were me, what would you do?”
You take a deep breath and release it loudly, “I don’t know. I haven’t had a crush in so long.”
Jungkook falters, heart tightening. Oh no. Oh no, oh no. Oh. This is bad. This is really bad. 
“Ah, I see.” He gulps.
“But let me know if you figure it out. Then we can go on a double date.” 
Wait. Wait. This is bad. Double date? This is so bad.
“What do you mean?” he asks weakly.
“You know, you and your girl and me and my boy.”
“You have a boy?”
“Yeah, soon. I’m talking to this boy on the dating app. He is very cute.”
“But…didn’t you say that you gave up on the app?”
“No uh…no, it’s just that I only talk to this one boy now.”
Jungkook bites back tears.
“I see.” 
“Mhm, yeah. Let’s go on a double date.”
No. No this is all wrong. No this isn’t what was meant to happen. No. 
“Please.”
Jungkook doesn’t even realize that he begged out loud until you look at him in question.
“Please what?”
You and he stop. Strangers stream past you like you and he were two rocks in a river. You are facing each other, so close yet so far away. 
You lied to him. There is no other boy. There never was and never will be. But there will always be other girls for him while you stay his best friend. Lying is all that you have at this point. 
“Please what?” you repeat the question.
“I…” Jungkook breathes. “I…nevermind.”
Silence. Your eyes are locked so deeply that the world around you is blurry.
“Okay?”
“Mhm yeah.”
His jaw tightens and he breaks the eye contact, looking to the side with his tongue in his cheek. He seemed angry. You would be lying if you said that you weren’t feeling angry yourself. You turn away from him and continue walking. You don’t want to be next to him right now. It hurts to only stay his best friend.
He looks at the back of your head and how it becomes smaller and smaller from distance. He doesn’t understand you. He thought that the way you looked at him in the store meant something. And yet all this time you had another boy. He feels so betrayed that for just a second, he considers walking the other direction and leaving you to wonder where he went. However, two things hold him back; his competitiveness and his honest feelings for you.
He won’t stay your best friend any longer. He just decided that. He is going to fight for you, make you fall for him and forget all about the stupid boys you meet on this stupid dating app. He is better than any of them. He could treat you better, make you laugh harder, give you better hugs and kisses and provide you with afterglow so addicting you will get hot cheeks at work just thinking about it. He is your best friend, goddamn it, and he knows you better than any of these strangers ever will. And he is not going to lose you to some boy.
He jogs to catch up with you, calling your name with a certain harshness.
You turn. Your eyes meet. Jungkook’s brain short circuits.
“What?” you ask him, sounding small because of being called so harshly.
“I, I was just wondering, uhm, should we get ice cream after?” he asks because he panicked.
You shrug your shoulders, “I guess.”
“It’s on me, yeah?”
“Yeah, okay.”
Jungkook inches closer, saying your name softly.
“What do you want?”
“I messed up before.”
“What do you mean?”
“I, I just. I thought that I was doing a good job, but I think I made you think something else.”
“Jungkook. I had a long day, please don’t talk in riddles.”
“Don’t date other boys.”
“Excuse me?”
Jungkook gulps, panicking because of your offended and harsh tone.
“I, I, I just”, he stutters, widening his eyes.
“No. What do you mean? I can date who I want.”
“I know, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that, oh god, I meant that I don’t want you to see other boys.”
“Huh?”
“Ah no, wait.”  He slaps his own forehead. “Wait.”
You cross your arms in front of your chest, “what makes you think that you can tell me what I can or can’t do?”
“No I didn’t mean it like that. Wait just give me a moment, please I’m panicking.”
You purse your lips, studying his face intensely.
“Are you also so nervous?” he asks.
“What’s with you all of a sudden?” you ask him, honestly worried. His face is as red as ripe strawberries.
Jungkook closes the distance and takes your hands, eliciting a gasp from you. He squeezes them gently, staring into your eyes as deeply as possible.
“This wasn’t how I always imagined this to go, but I can’t stay quiet anymore. ___, the girl I have a crush on is-”
“Seriously?”
You and Jungkook turn around at the angry voice next to you.  
“Suho? What are you doing here?” you ask.
“Who’s that?” Jungkook says.
“Kim Suho. I met him on the dating app. We went on like one date a month ago”, you explain and slip your hands out of Jungkook’s hold to turn to the other guy, “what are you doing here?”
Jungkook stares at him darkly, clenching his jaw. You told him about this dude in passing. He hates him so much, hating him even more now that he interrupted this moment.
“That’s what you’re going with? Seriously?” Suho throws back.
“Yeah, you-”
“What the fuck are you doing with him? I told you to stop being friends with him, didn’t I?”
Jungkook looks at you with big eyes. You never told him that. You always said that you lost interest in Suho because of different hobbies, but never mentioned that he could have been the actual reason.
“And I told you that you can’t tell me what to do. Jungkook is my best friend and I won’t give him up for a man.”
“Yes but I wasn’t any man, I was your man.”
“Huh? No you weren’t. We went on one date and you totally lost it when I told you that I had a male best friend.”
“Because he isn’t just your friend. You’re in love with him.”
Jungkook swears that he passes out standing up for a second. Feelings? You have feelings for him? Did you tell Suho that or is he assuming because he is one of those weird men that think women aren’t allowed to have male friends? What does all of this mean?
“What?” You laugh nervously. “No? Of course not.”
“Oh don’t be ridiculous. I followed you from work and through the store. I saw everything.”
“Huh? What?” you gasp, hurrying to Jungkook instinctively because you know that he will keep you safe.
“Dude, what the fuck? You creep, stay away from her”, Jungkook says harshly and steps in front of you, feeling the fire of protectiveness start to burn in his chest.
“I saw what I saw. You have feelings for each other”, Suho says, pointing an accusing finger at you and Jungkook.
Jungkook and you exchange a look. 
“No I…”
Suho scoffs and looks at Jungkook.
“And you? Gonna fucking pretend that you’re just friends or should I start punching you?”
“Dude, I’ve never even met you”, Jungkook defends himself, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“I’ll still fucking punch you.”
“Don’t you dare”, you hiss at him.
“Shut up, ___.”
“Hey, don’t talk to her like that”, Jungkook speaks up loudly, making himself bigger. He doesn’t care when people are aggressive to him, but he cannot accept aggression towards you.
“Or what?”
“You wanna find out? Don’t talk to her like that.”
Suho rushes to Jungkook and pushes at his chest. He thought that he could move him, but he can’t. Jungkook just gawks at him in utter surprise.
“What are you doing?” he asks confused.
“Why aren’t you budging? Fall over you idiot”, Suho growls and tries again with all his might. 
Jungkook takes a small step back but then stays unmoving. 
“Dude, seriously. What are you doing?”
Suho growls and punches Jungkook. Except that he is so bad at it that Jungkook can easily dodge him. He reacts calmly to the aggression, redirecting Suho by turning him and giving him a gentle push away from him.
Suho stumbles and whips around.
“You-”
Jungkook steps closer, “give it up, man.”
Suho shifts his attention to you, pointing his finger at you. He tries to get to you by swerving past Jungkook, but the latter steps in front of you again, stopping Suho with a firm hand on his chest. He didn’t show it, but the contact was definitely made with strength because Suho stumbles back from it.
“I said. Give it up. I’m not gonna repeat myself again”, he warns. For just a second his voice was deeper than usual and his eyes darker. You can’t stop staring in awe, feeling so attracted to him that it is difficult not to grab him right here and now.
Suho ignores him, talking over Jungkook’s shoulder.
“It’s over. I’m breaking up with you.”
“Huh? We weren’t even together in the first place?” you say very confused.
“Yes, well…. Now it’s really over. And just so you know, I’ll block you on everything.”
“I mean, okay.”
Suho turns and runs down the street clumsily.
A moment of silence. Jungkook turns to you. He is ready to take you into his arms if you need support.
“Everything okay?” he asks hesitantly.
“Honestly? I couldn’t care less about this tantrum. What the fuck was that? We went on one date and it sucked ass. I mean, who in their right mind expects someone to give up their best friend? I don’t even know this dude.”
“Would you have done it if you liked him?”
“What? No, of course not. I like you, not him.”
“What?!”
You look at Jungkook with big eyes.
“I, I mean…” you look at his lips and Jungkook finally notices.
Holy fuck. Suho was right.
He drops the grocery bags and closes the distance, cupping your face. To his delighted surprise, you practically melt into his hands, gazing at him with dreamy eyes and your fingers closing around his wrists greedily.
“Was he right?” Jungkook asks, looking between your right and left eye. “Do you have feelings for me?”
“I’m scared”, you whisper.
“Scared of what?”
“You are so perfect and I’m not. I don’t want to know how you feel about me, so just…let’s just forget about what happened please.”
“You’re not perfect? What the fuck? You’re literally perfect. If someone’s unworthy, it’s me.”
“What?”
Jungkook gulps. 
You touch his chest.
“Kook, what?”
“You’re my fucking dream girl, ___” he finally confesses and now can’t be stopped, “I get excited when you text me and get sad when I don’t hear from you. Each time we hang out, I kinda wish that we somehow magically end up together. I repeat every little touch and shared laughter and look. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep because of you, but wish to do so because in my sleep I can meet you in my silly, wishful dreams. Do you have any idea how in love I am with you?”
“Are you serious?” 
Jungkook nods his head, forcing your tears to finally flow. He gasps and begins wiping them away instantly.
“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry, I promise I won’t try anything. You, you won’t lose your best friend.”
“I’m just happy. So happy.”
“You are?”
“I feel the same for you. I have done so for a long time.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” You sniffle. “You’re my dream boy too, Jungkook.”
“Oh my god. Oh my god! Yippie!” he exclaims and overtaken by happiness, he swoops you off your feet to twirl with you, making you squeal happily as you hold onto him for dear life. Strangers definitely look at you weird, but you couldn’t care less. They are non-existent for you and him. He likes you and you like him back. This day is the best day you and he ever had.
He sets you down after the twirling, cradling your face so he could hold it still for way too many kisses. He gives you kisses everywhere except your lips, making you giggle and laugh and tingle the entire time.
“I’m so happy, you’re so pretty and perfect and amazing and pretty and amazing and I’m gonna kiss you there and there and there and oh my god you’re so perfect, I’m gonna kiss you there and there, wow oh wow…” he babbles between kisses, truly sending your heart into overdrive.
He probably would have continued his babbling for hours if you hadn’t stopped him by lacing your fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth into a kiss.
“Andmhgmh”, he lets out, gawking at you first before the realisation of his situation sinks in. His knees buckle, his left hand grabs your hips and his right hand cradles your head, eyes falling closed. He is kissing you. He feels weightless, floating in time and space. His heart races so much that he feels it throb against his ribcage, the butterflies in his stomach are unbearably exciting. He dreamt of this moment a million times before, fantasised about it twice as much and yet he still wasn’t ready for it. Your kiss is like heaven on earth. He swears that he gains new life through it. He wants to kiss you until his lungs run out of air, but you break it.
“Was that okay for me to do?” you ask him shyly.
Now it’s his turn to spill tears and for you to wipe them.
“I’m sorry, I should have ask-”, you don’t get to finish your sentence, getting kissed again by Jungkook.
“I’m so fucking happy, you have no idea”, he murmurs, showing you his feelings one deep kiss at a time. “You taste so good.” Kiss, oh so deep. “Your lips are so soft.” Kiss, the kind which makes your knees wobble. “You’re perfect, you’re so perfect.”
You giggle, gazing up at him droopily. Jungkook giggles as well, peeling his eyes open to gaze dreamily. You and he cup each other’s faces, resting your foreheads together.
“I’m happy.”
“I’m happy too.”
“Wow, I’m so happy.”
“Me too. So happy.”
You giggle together, swaying from side to side. Nothing, truly nothing, has never felt as right as this.
“Were you trying to confess to me before Suho interrupted us?”
“Yeah.”
You giggle as you talk, “you were really shit at it. I thought you were talking about someone else.”
“I know, I panicked so bad. I was so nervous”, he is giggling too, “are you actually talking to another boy?”
“Of course not, you doofus. I lied.”
“Oh my god, I’m so relieved”, he gets out and sweeps you off your feet again, carrying you under your butt. He twirls with you, smiling up at you as you squeak and laugh with your head thrown back.
“Jungkook stop please, I’m getting dizzy.”
He sets you down, but keeps touching you, seeking your closeness by rubbing his nose against your cheek. He is so close that the sunflowers are getting squished between you and him. It is a price you sadly have to pay in exchange for finally being able to be glued together.
“I’m so happy, I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Kook. So like barbeque and beer? Is it a date?” you ask.
“It’s the datiest date that has ever dated”, he says, making you giggle because he is so cute and funny and you like him so, so much. He giggles with you because you are so perfect and perfect and perfect and he likes you so, so much.
“I feel like we have a lot to talk about.”
“Yeah, oh god.” He kisses your cheek multiple times. “You have to tell me all the thoughts you had when we hung out. Were you also so giddy, oh god, I was always so giddy and I kept looking at you because you are so pretty. Were you looking at me too? And, and did you also wish for me to be reckless? I always wanted you to just kiss me. I’m talking so much, wow, I’m so happy.”
You giggle, cuddling into him, “you’re the cutest person ever. I can’t wait to tell you everything.”
You nudge him to leave, but stop when Jungkook exclaims a loud “wait!”
“What’s wrong?”
“The groceries. I almost left them here”, he says, bending down to get them.
“Oh god, you’re so cute”, you snicker, hugging his arm and nuzzling into him like you always wanted to do.
2K notes · View notes
nemesyaaa · 3 months ago
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buffalo 66' au ! old!serial killer!rafe x young!sugardoll!reader. moodboard & aesthetic only ! (not a fic please !)
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you were a young doll stucked in your baby blues shades world, who was born to fall into old men traps. and this one was an old serial killer who made you a missing girl in your small town.
you adored him like he was the only god in the world. and you even started to believe that when he kidnapped you it was not a crime but intimacy.
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you were a young crybaby, a babydoll full of tears, with a sweet white and blue soul, pure as heaven, and soft as clouds. you wanted nothing more than to be the wife of the old daddy with dirty bloody hands that can kill for you, but never hurts you.
“ i just wanted you to know that i think you're the sweetest guy in the world. and the most handsome. i love you. ”
you were to him the innocence he never had, the peace he wanted to hold forever. you were his little girl.
“ i will be very sad if you don't come back. just tell me, don't lie to me.”
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“ you adore me, you love me, you cherish me, jesus christ you can't live without me”
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“ i'm gonna step out of the car for one minute. one minute, i'm gonna step out. put your hands on the dashboard like that. hold 'em like that. don't let me see you move them one finger, not one finger move, not one twitch of a move or i'll come back and choke you to death. i swear to god, don't move, little girl. i can put a gun on your angel face, and blood on your pretty tears. ”
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“ do you still think i'm the sweetest guy in the world ?" " yes, always. can i hug you now ?"
tadouuum !!! hbddd @bunnyrafe <333 (i'm 'ot so so proud of it but wish you like it) + @fae-of-prey thx to make me think of it
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sansaorgana · 3 months ago
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— BEDROOM HYMNS
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PAIRING — Ser Gwayne Hightower x fem!Reader // Queen Alicent Hightower x fem!Reader
SUMMARY — Your sister-in-law wishes for you to become one of her ladies-in-waiting but you become so much more. Things complicate when your husband comes to visit.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — The title is from Florence + The Machine song. Alicent is a lesbian in this fic but she's also very conflicted about it. Reader is 100% bisexual. I wanted to write this fic for some time now because I have a crush on Alicent ever since Season One so yeah... Here we go... 😩😈
WARNINGS — cheating, homosexuality seen as something *wrong* (by Alicent), mentions of sexual activities (no actual smut – tiiiiny bit in the beginning)
WORD COUNT — 6,240
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
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BEDROOM HYMNS
You moved away from between her trembling legs after a cry of pleasure muffled by her own hand that she had covered her mouth with. Alicent’s juices were dripping down your chin when you smirked at her and looked up to meet her big brown eyes. Those soft big brown eyes that you adored more than anything. You had always adored them. So full of sadness and softness and you had never wanted anything but to make her feel better.
“Have I pleased you?” You asked while peppering her soft inner thighs with your kisses although you knew the answer already. Her husband had no idea how to please her.
The Queen only nodded and looked away. Poor Alicent – she always felt bad and guilty after the peak had already been reached. The sudden realisation of her sin was soul-crushing but the tension and desire had been too great to ignore them. She deserved the relief and you did not see anything bad about it.
“How many times do we have to do this?” You sighed and lied next to her in her bed. Your fingertips caressed her sides and your lips attached themselves to the crook of her neck, smelling all the scented oils in her hair. She was The Queen of the Realm and she was pampered like no other Lady. “There is no shame in this.”
“There is a sin,” Alicent turned her head around to finally meet your gaze. She raised her hand to nervously play with the seven-pointed star pendant on her sweaty chest.
“Why?” You bit on your lip and caressed her auburn locks out of her face.
“It is betrayal,” she frowned as if she was getting frustrated with your lack of understanding.
“It would have been if you lied with a man,” you explained and kissed her cheek before laying on your back and staring at the ceiling.
“I should find your vague idea of morality perplexing,” Alicent pointed out and you couldn’t help but chuckle at her confession.
“But you do not and thank Gods for that,” you rolled your eyes with a smirk.
A silence occurred as Alicent kept playing nervously with the pendant between her fingers and you were staring at the ceiling and counting all the cracks.
“What kind of husband is my brother?” She asked suddenly and you turned your head around to look at her again.
“A good one,” you admitted, feeling nearly guilty for that because you knew why she was asking – her husband was not good. Not to her and not to her children.
“Why are you doing this then?” Alicent asked.
It was obvious why her brother was on her mind now. He would arrive at King's Landing any day now. You couldn’t wait to see Gwayne again after a few months of being apart and you only wished he had taken your son with him but he could not. Robyn was the eldest son and he was supposed to stay in Oldtown. He had just become a squire and leaving his knight for a few long weeks would not be advised, therefore you had to go on missing your boy. Day after day as if he was a burning hole in your chest. Mothers would always miss their sons, you assumed.
“To kill the time,” you shrugged your arms, not wanting to reveal how much Alicent meant to you and for how long. “And to help you. You are my friend and I love you,” you confessed.
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Alicent always loved Princess Rhaenyra more. Your father was a Master of Coin in King Viserys’ Small Council and you were growing up together – three girls running around happily. Or rather – two girls following the Princess like two overjoyed puppies. Rhaenyra was the centre of everything for you and not only because she was the Princess but also because she meant everything to Alicent. No matter how much effort you were putting into making Alicent like you more, you were destined to fail for she always was choosing Rhaenyra over you.
It made you grow bitter towards The Princess but never towards Alicent. You were blaming yourself – you had to become more and try harder perhaps and maybe then you’d earn more than just leftover crumbs of her love and friendship.
You couldn’t understand your feelings back then – why was the attraction so strong, what was making you feel so attached to the young Hightower Lady. You were the same age and yet everything she said was like a command to you. Wherever she went, you followed. Even when you felt like a burden because she so clearly would rather be left alone with Rhaenyra. But Rhaenyra never minded your presence because to her you were only a pawn on the board, an ornament, an addition of no importance. So, you often witnessed the two girls laughing together, whispering, exchanging small gestures of affection. You were only watching. Observing as your heart ached.
During The Heir's Tournament you met Ser Gwayne Hightower, Alicent’s older brother. He was young then, eager to show off his abilities and make his family proud. Perhaps he did not have his sister’s big brown eyes but he had the auburn hair you loved so much about her and he had her softness about him. You were enamoured with him in no time and when he approached the royal box to greet his sister – he caught your eye and you caught his and for that moment when your eyes met, you felt butterflies all over your body.
Ser Gwayne Hightower received your favour on that day and the sparkles of joy in your eyes while you were throwing the wreath at him were very obvious to your father and to his as well. You could not know that then but they exchanged meaningful looks for a short moment.
Even though Gwayne lost the duel with Prince Daemon Targaryen, he did not lose your affection. In fact, witnessing him nearly winning and losing only because Prince Daemon chose to play dirty – it only solidified your feelings. Ser Gwayne was a righteous man, a chivalrous knight and a brave one, too. It took lots of courage to face Prince Daemon Targaryen himself.
Gwayne was carried away with his face covered in blood and dirt while his mind was filled with thoughts of you – of losing your favour and your interest. However, you hurried to his side right after the tournament ended to make sure he was fine. And at the sight of you – he truly was fine again.
You were only ten and five but you knew already that Ser Gwayne was the only man you could see yourself being married off to. Thankfully, your father saw that, too. Two years later you were sent to Oldtown and for the whole time in between you were exchanging letters. When Alicent was married off to King Viserys shortly after his wife’s death, you still felt bitter but not as much as you could because you mostly felt excited about your own upcoming wedding.
However, the sadness and anxiety on Alicent’s face on her wedding day were a sight you would never forget.
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Years and years of the happy marriage had passed and you were still in touch with your sister-in-law because of the letters you were exchanging and her son that you and Gwayne were raising in Oldtown – Prince Daeron Targaryen. But other than that, you had your own life now to live, your own duties, your own offspring and Alicent was simply not occupying your mind as much as in your adolescent years. 
You were aware of King Viserys’ health getting worse and worse as Alicent was ruling the Kingdom in his name. The burden of responsibility was heavy and her marriage was getting more and more difficult. You couldn’t say the same of your own union – you loved Gwayne and he loved you. Just like every married couple you had your misunderstandings and disagreements but you were grateful for him every day of your life and you knew well that he felt the same towards you.
It was after breakfast on one of those days that seemed to be pretty typical in the morning and then they turned out to be life-changing for a person. Without a warning and without an ominous feeling deep in one’s gut, they just happened and changed lives.
A letter came to you from Queen Alicent and you expected nothing of great importance in it so you put it below the pile of letters you had to respond to this morning. You sat by your desk and dipped the feather in the black ink as you started to perform one of your duties as Lady Hightower, helping your husband to run Oldtown in his father’s name.
Letter after letter, until finally you were left with the last one. You opened it with a small yawn, which turned into a frown after reading Alicent’s plea and request.
“What is it?” Gwayne entered your chambers this very moment but his smile dropped at the sight of your face.
You folded the letter suddenly as if it was a secret or something dirty but it only increased your husband’s curiosity as he approached the table and raised an eyebrow at you.
“What is it?” He repeated the question and you pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to find the right words.
“It is from your sister,” you replied and looked up to meet his confused gaze. He knew about your friendship and for you to react this way at one of Alicent’s letters was simply unusual.
“Is he dead?” Was all Gwayne asked.
“No, Gods, no,” you shook your head and took a deep breath in. “Not yet,” you added.
“What is it then?” Gwayne lifted your chin up gently to make sure your eyes would still be on his. You swallowed a lump in your throat and finally decided to tell him what his sister had requested.
“Queen Alicent wishes for me to become one of her ladies-in-waiting,” you revealed and Gwayne’s confusion only grew. “She feels lonely in King’s Landing, she needs a friend by her side. Somebody she can trust.”
“It is out of the question,” Gwayne took the folded paper from your hands and read the letter himself, still standing above you as you nervously fidgeted with your fingers.
Your own feelings were chaotic at that moment. Something in your heart wanted to run to King’s Landing at this very moment because Alicent needed you and because you wanted to make her life easier and make her happy. You had always wanted nothing but her happiness.
But you had your own duties in Oldtown and you had your husband here and your children. You could not just leave like that, could you? Especially when Oldtown was so far away from King’s Landing.
“It is out of the question,” Gwayne said again and threw the letter on your desk. “Reply to her that your Lord Husband does not agree.”
“She is your sister,” you looked up at him, pleadingly.
“Yes and I have nothing but love for her in my heart but her request is selfish,” he clenched his jaw as he looked you up and down, visibly surprised that you were not agreeing with him on this. “Why does she want to take you away from me? You are my wife.”
“Your wife – not your property,” you reminded him.
“That is debatable,” Gwayne huffed and looked away but before you could scold him, he continued with more. “Living in a different city, different castle, so far away from me… Will you still be my wife?” He turned his head around in an attempt to try to read your emotions.
“I will forever be your wife,” you stood up and took his hand into yours before placing it on your chest where your heart was. “But she needs me, Gwayne. She’s all alone there with no one by her side.”
“Father is with her,” Gwayne interrupted you. “He always favoured Alicent.”
“You do know that being favoured by him is a burden, not a prize,” you reminded. “Please, let me go. For some time at least. Until The King dies. It should not be for long and I’ll take the girls with me,” you tried to convince him as your fingers caressed his hand on your chest. “Please,” you whispered, looking up deep into his eyes.
After a long moment of silence and hesitation, your husband nodded his head reluctantly.
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A few months later, you found yourself standing in the courtyard of The Red Keep, awaiting your husband’s arrival. He had a business to deal with in The Crownlands and he wanted to spend a few days with his family, too. You were caressing the creases on your dress with your hands and your teenage daughter Margaery was fixing her younger sister’s hairdo. Little Wyllow had been missing her father the most and she couldn’t wait for his arrival. In fact, she had made you and Margaery wait there since early morning and at this point you were exhausted already but you didn’t complain since you couldn’t wait to see Gwayne again either.
Even though it also felt a little weird and awkward since your mind was being flooded with memories of his sister’s body tangled with yours underneath her royal silk sheets. Her plump lips parted and soft moans escaping them, her beautiful big brown eyes hazy and filled with tears of shame and pleasure…
You were trying to shake those thoughts and images off of your head when you were interrupted by the sound of the horses approaching the gate.
“Father!” Wyllow nearly ran straight under the horse if she was not stopped by Margaery.
Your older daughter gave you a scolding look and she was right to do so because it was your duty to watch over your children, meanwhile you were distracted by the memories of dirty acts instead.
When you watched Gwayne jumping off of the horse, your heart clenched in your chest at the sight of him and you suddenly realised why Alicent was so filled with shame and guilt because now you felt them, too.
His handsome face, his eyes sparkling at the sight of you, his auburn hair reflecting in the sun… He truly was the man you loved. You just couldn’t help the fact you loved his sister, too.
“Father!” Wyllow finally was free to run into his arms and he crouched down to hug her and kiss her forehead.
“I am so happy to see you, little bird,” Gwayne cupped his daughter’s cheeks and she giggled.
He straightened himself but Wyllow clinged to his left hand so he used his right one to caress Margaery’s face lovingly.
“You’re growing fast, my love,” he pointed out.
“I am trying my best, Lord Father,” Margaery nodded her head with a smile and then she took a step back to get out of the way and let him greet you.
“Lord Husband,” you gave him a nervous and soft smile. Gwayne tilted his head a little and your heart skipped a beat. He was a very observant man but there was nothing that would give you away, right? What could it be?
“Lady Wife,” he smiled at you and took two steps ahead to be able to kiss the palm of your hand. Whatever he had noticed, he pretended it was nothing. At least for now.
“You must be exhausted,” you pointed out. “The chambers have been already prepared for you and I’m going to tell the maids to fix you a bath.”
“Does it mean we are not sharing the same chambers during my stay here?” Gwayne raised an eyebrow at you.
Margaery cleared her throat and she took Wyllow by her free hand.
“Shall we go inside now? Let our Lady Mother greet Lord Father properly,” she dragged her protesting sister behind her.
“She is becoming a fine Lady,” you chuckled awkwardly. “I can’t help feeling that the air and water in King’s Landing are making her grow up faster. Perhaps she is spending too much time with women older than her,” you explained, clasping your hands in front of yourself as if you had no idea what to do with them. “Come with me, I am sure you want to greet your father and sister, too.”
“I do,” Gwayne followed you inside while some of the men he had taken with him were taking care of his luggage with the help of The Red Keep’s servants. “You still haven’t answered my question about the chambers,” he pointed out when you were in the staircase together.
“My darling,” you turned around abruptly, making him stop his walk. “Your chambers are close to mine, please do not get cross with me. Those past few months I have learnt to love my solitude,” you explained and Gwayne tilted his head again but he only nodded.
“Let it be then,” he only said.
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With each one of your husband’s kisses and each one of his touches, each one of your reached peaks and cries of pleasure, you felt more and more purified of sin as if his body was washing away Alicent’s smell off of you. After months of not laying together, you were lost in each other for hours with caring very little about getting any sleep. You were watching the sun rise behind the window when you were too exhausted to go on as you were laying on Gwayne’s chest, drawing circles there with your fingers and his hand was playing with your hair, gently massaging your scalp.
“Have you been faithful to me?” You asked casually and you could feel his muscles tensing under you.
You had no right to ask that – but he did not know of it.
“I have,” he answered. “Of course I have.”
“And if I say that the whores count, too?” You looked up playfully.
“I have been faithful to my Lady Wife,” Gwayne shook his head and you spotted a slight irritation on his face. He did not like it when his honour was being questioned – he was a knight, after all. “Why do you ask? Have you not been faithful to me?”
A shiver went down your spine at his chilling accusation.
“How can you ask me that?” You gasped.
“You have accused me first.”
“Because you are a man,” you reminded him.
“I am. And I know what men are like,” Gwayne nodded his head. “They must all be following you around – a beautiful Lady far away from her husband is like an invitation,” he finally cracked a smile, revealing that he was only jesting.
“I do not want any man but you,” you assured him as the tension left your body because you did not have to lie about it.
“That is good to know, my love,” Gwayne kissed the top of your head. “You had me worried with your cold greeting and not letting me into your chambers.”
“Are you not in my chambers now, Lord Husband?” You teased him and placed a kiss on his chest where his heart was. “And if my greeting was cold, then I owe you an apology. I spend too much time around your sister and her husband and I keep forgetting that some marriages are happy. That mine is…” You wanted to look up to meet his gaze but you couldn’t as something inside of you was stopping you.
“That is a shame,” Gwayne only said.
“It is, darling, but you are here now to remind me.”
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You were sitting in the same chambers as Alicent, embroidering side by side and even though you were using no words, you found each other’s company comforting. Your arms were brushing as you both were focused on creating beautiful patterns on the same piece of fabric to make the work faster. It was supposed to be a beautiful green blanket with embroidered little dragons. 
Princess Helaena was sitting nearby and embroidering spiders on her own piece of fabric. Her cousin, Lady Margaery Hightower was sitting next to her and teaching her younger sister the craft. It was peaceful, cosy and quiet – you loved those moments the most because it was nearly as if Alicent was your own Lady Wife and you were just enjoying the time spent together with your family, far away from all those loud and obnoxious men surrounding you everywhere. These chambers were your escape and your own queendom.
When the doors opened, everyone except for Helaena looked up with a slight irritation since the man entering this sanctuary was nothing but an intruder. Even if the man was Ser Gwayne Hightower, who was loved by every person inside the chambers.
He cleared his throat when you gave him a soft smile, your arm still brushing Alicent’s and you were sitting in a way that made sure you were facing each other. You had never thought about it before but it was quite intimate indeed. Your husband’s tilted head made you realise that he had just observed something and after a short while you understood what it was as you moved away slightly.
“Brother,” Alicent greeted him. 
“Lord Husband,” you nodded at him.
“Forgive me for interrupting. I would like to take Margaery for a walk around the gardens,” he extended his hand towards his older daughter as Wyllow looked up at him with pleading eyes. “It must be Margaery alone this time but I promise you, little bird, I am going to take you for a walk later, too. Perhaps we’ll walk to the bay and watch the ships,” he assured her and she sighed with relief.
“You can finish without my help now, I believe,” Margaery handed the fabric to her younger sister. “Do try, at least. If you face any challenges, Lady Mother or Helaena shall help you.”
Helaena looked up when her name was mentioned and she gave Wyllow a soft smile that encouraged her little cousin to keep going. When Margaery stood up and left the sofa, Wyllow moved closer to Helaena and The Princess did not seem to mind.
“Can you help me with the ladybug?” She asked and Helaena’s face lit up at that.
“Lord Father,” Margaery took Gwayne by his arm and bowed her head at you and Alicent before walking out of the chambers with her father.
“I am wondering what is the matter my Lord Husband wishes to discuss with Margaery,” you hummed to yourself.
“She is ten and five now,” Queen Alicent pointed out. “What is the only possible matter that fathers wish to discuss with their daughters at that age?”
You furrowed your brows at her words because she was right and you did not like the sound of that. It was a shame that she was right, too, and not only for your own daughter but for every woman in this Realm. 
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You saw Gwayne again before dinner, on your way to the dining hall. He was walking down the stairs and you rushed to him to walk by his side. He offered you his arm and you took it.
“I have a question for you, Lord Husband,” you started, nearly aggressively and he raised his eyebrows at that fierceness.
“What is it, my love?”
“Are you planning to marry our sweet Margaery off so quickly? I do not wish for her to get wed too soon,” you told him, hoping he would understand your point of view because sadly, in the end, the decision was his to make for women had always been properties of men – once her father’s, then her husband’s.
Sometimes you wished you had become a septa.
“Not soon, no. But she is ten and five. That was the age you were in when we met,” Gwayne reminded you with a smile.
“Yes, indeed, my darling, but it was us both meeting and falling in love. That is different, you must admit,” you pursed your lips.
“I must, indeed. Do not worry, I am not willing to force anything upon our sweet daughter. I have only told her to start looking around for suitable matches… soon,” your husband explained. “I am sure King’s Landing is full of important young men.”
“I do not wish for her to get married here. This place is rotten and so are its people,” you sighed. “My greatest wish is for Margaery to marry a man from The Reach.”
“We all have wishes, my darling wife,” Gwayne’s answer was nearly mocking but he spotted your annoyance so he looked around to make sure you were not being seen before pulling you by your waist and pushing you against the wall to steal a kiss from your lips. “Gods, I missed this,” he whispered and you felt your cheeks heating up.
“Gwayne!” You scolded him playfully. “I missed this, too,” you added and caressed his cheek with your fingers.
But his smile dropped and eyes became serious all of the sudden. You stayed like that in a short moment of silence before he dropped the question that turned your guts inside out:
“What is the nature of your relationship with my sister?”
You were taken aback by his question and you moved your hand away from his face before taking a deep breath in, trying to steady your heartbeat.
“Alicent is my best friend,” you looked deep into his eyes, surprised by your own courage to lie like this…
But was it a lie? She was your friend, after all.
“There is intimacy between you two that I can only wish for between us these days,” Gwayne whispered and you bit on your lower lip.
“She is my main companion for weeks now,” you tried to explain.
“Are you still planning to come back home after The King dies?” Gwayne lowered his voice even more since talking about the monarch’s death could be seen as treason.
“Y-yes, of course,” you nodded nervously.
“Why the tremble of your voice?” Gwayne raised an eyebrow.
“What are you accusing me of?” You suddenly clenched your fists, trying to take another route of getting out of this awkward situation. “Your implications are indecent. You have been accusing me of obscenities ever since you arrived here. You wound me deeply, Lord Husband,” you straightened yourself.
“You have accused me first,” Gwayne reminded you.
“Without any reproach thrown at you. I have asked out of simple curiosity,” you informed him.
“You are right, do forgive me,” he reached for your hand to place a delicate kiss upon the palm of it. You sighed, feeling extremely guilty.
“You are forgiven,” you whispered, nearly inaudibly, because it felt wrong to be the one saying those words.
In fact, at that very moment, you promised yourself to fix everything. You promised yourself to invite Gwayne to your chambers again for the night and let his touch to purify you like on the previous night. And you would go to The Sept and you would pray the sin away, you would beg for forgiveness, you would be a better wife, perhaps you would beg Alicent to let you go back to Oldtown with your husband.
Yes, that was the plan.
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In the early morning you couldn’t tell that you were well-rested. Your muscles were sore after the previous two nights and your head was hazy but you still got dressed up quickly when the sun was rising and creeping inside your chambers to shine upon Gwayne’s auburn hair. You leaned in to kiss his forehead and you left him sleeping to visit The Sept and be able to go back to The Red Keep before breakfast.
You had never been a devout but you were not a savage either. You believed in Gods and now more than ever you needed redemption.
You expected to be alone there at such an early hour but no – of course not. Queen Alicent was already there, kneeling by the stone table and lighting the candles. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath in. She was your greatest temptation and it was a cruel joke that the Gods had played on you to put her there at this time when you visited The Sept to pray her very own self away from your life.
Alicent looked up, surprised to see you. Her soft features were as sad as usual but at the sight of you she seemed to be a bit happier – relieved, in a way. Your heart clenched inside your chest. How could you ever want to leave her? You couldn’t. She was too dependent on you. Her happiness was and so was her sanity. Leaving her would be equal to killing her.
“I have not expected you in The Sept at such an early hour,” she commented as you kneeled next to her.
“I have not expected myself here either,” you smirked. “I came here to ask for forgiveness.”
“Forgiveness? Aren’t you always the one telling me that what we do is no sin?” Alicent furrowed her brows.
“I have lied to my husband. That is a sin,” you confessed and Alicent did not say anything to this. “I… I will have to go back to Oldtown, I think… I can’t… I can’t go on like this,” you looked down and Alicent remained silent but you didn’t have to look at her to know her big brown eyes were filled with tears. “I miss my son and I miss Oldtown… King’s Landing is corrupt and I do not wish for my daughters to grow up here. I… I miss Gwayne, too. I love him, I love him, I love him…”
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Sudden, harsh question made you look up to meet her teary gaze.
“I’ve been loving him ever since I saw him during the tournament. You were there, sitting by my side,” you reminded her.
“You love him because he is my brother but your life has always revolved around me,” Alicent pointed out and you felt your cheeks heating up.
“You… You knew?” You only asked.
“I was blind to choose Rhaenyra because she was never for me to reach. She was The Princess and you were equal to me, so devoted. Blindly, very often. I took you for a fool and only after losing you, I realised. When you were sent to Oldtown, I suddenly understood that my only friend had left my side,” Alicent explained. “My only friend and the only person who has ever… Who has ever loved me – except for my mother.”
“Gwayne loves you, too,” you pointed out.
“Does he? He took you away from me,” Alicent’s jaw clenched and your eyes widened. She was not being rational but you knew why – she was scared of losing you again. In fact, she was determined to make you stay by her side.
“You will not let me leave, will you?” You whispered.
Alicent opened her mouth to say something but then her face softened and she stood up rapidly to walk away.
“I am sorry… I do not wish to… Act like this… I do not recognise myself,” she admitted with her voice full of shame. She raised her hands up to her mouth as she nervously bit on the soft skin around her fingernails.
You didn’t answer because you were too lost in your own thoughts. Was she right again? About you loving Gwayne only because he was her brother? You had never thought about it before. It would mean your whole marriage was a lie, an illusion – or rather a delusion.
“When I’m with him, I don’t imagine you,” you stood up as well when the realisation hit you. “But when I’m with you, he doesn’t exist to me. It’s as if there were two of me.”
“I do not understand,” Alicent shook her head. “To me, there is only you,” she confessed and laid her eyes on you.
You didn’t know what to answer. You swallowed a lump in your throat instead.
“I am flawed, poisoned…” Alicent continued. “I can only feel this way towards other women. I felt this way towards Rhaenyra until a certain moment and then… Then my whole life was about you. I have spent hours inside this Sept, trying to pray this away,” Alicent’s silent tears streamed down her cheeks.
“I do not have such a conflict. I can love both men and women,” you told her. “I can love you and I can love Gwayne…”
“I do not wish to share you!” Alicent interrupted you and then she hid her face in her hand as she sobbed.
“Women are not their own property. I am not the one to decide if I can be shared,” you answered diplomatically.
You felt sorry for her but you also felt sorry for Gwayne that he was being betrayed behind his back by his own wife and sister – two women he loved the most except for his daughters. He would die for you both, he would kill to protect you or to defend your honours – even though none of you had an honour anymore. He was the real victim here.
But one more look at Alicent’s sad eyes was enough to break you again. You approached her to cup her face and kiss her softly. She protested in the beginning since you were inside The Sept but you didn’t give a fuck about it anymore – you would go to Seven Hells anyway.
“I shall not leave you,” you promised her.
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When you came back to your chambers, Gwayne was dressing up in front of the mirror. He raised an eyebrow at you entering the room.
“Where have you been?” He asked.
“In The Sept to pray,” you answered truthfully.
“Has my sister turned you into a devout like her already?” He chuckled.
“She has a great influence on me,” you nodded and walked up to him to kiss his cheek.
“You even smell like her,” he said and your heart skipped a beat.
“I am fond of her scented oils and she allows me to use them,” you answered.
“It feels weird when I’m fucking you, I have to admit,” Gwayne chuckled awkwardly and so did you.
“You shall fuck me more then,” you pointed out quietly.
“Even more, Lady Wife?” He shook his head with another chuckle.
“Until her scent is gone,” you explained and looked out of the window.
Gwayne did not say anything to this but his smile disappeared. From the corner of your eye you saw his reflection in the mirror and you realised that he had finally understood what was going on behind his back.
After a while, which felt like forever, he cleared his throat:
“It is a putrid place indeed.”
“You must take me far away from here,” you turned around to grab his arm and your heart broke when you felt him flinch a little. “You must save my soul and take me home,” you pleaded despite the promise you had given to Alicent earlier but that promise had not been given sober. You had been intoxicated with her.
“You must come back home yourself, my love,” Gwayne smiled sadly at you and caressed your hair gently, “for I do not wish to force anything upon you. You are always kind enough to remind me that you are not my property, aren't you? And I agree,” he nodded, “this decision is for you to make.”
And you didn’t know what to say or do because there was no decision that felt right and no decision that didn’t feel wrong either. Gwayne was your duty and your sacrifice and Alicent was a self-indulgent sin but you loved them both so much that you cursed the whole Hightower bloodline for existing because your life would be so much easier without them.
You knew what Gwayne was expecting of you – he expected you to choose your duty because – just like his sister – he was all about honour and decency. But you didn’t want your husband to feel as if you were choosing him only because of your marriage vows – you wanted him to know that you cared for him, too, even though he wouldn’t believe you now.
But there was only one choice for you anyway, wasn’t it? You couldn’t just stay with Alicent and pretend that it was the right thing to do. You couldn’t abandon your family and your duties for her and she had to understand it.
You looked deep into Gwayne’s eyes and your own filled with tears at the sight of all the pain and sadness in his. You dropped your hand down from his arm to intertwine your fingers with his.
“I do not think of myself as flawed or poisoned for feeling the way I feel,” you explained to him. “But I do not wish for my nature to spoil our union. If anybody can save me, it would be you,” you whispered. A plea. A desperate cry for help. “I am a mother, I am a wife, I am Lady Hightower and my home is in Oldtown.”
Your heart, however, would forever be divided; torn and bleeding. The deep, burning hole was forever to stay there for one reason or another.
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MASTERLIST
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joonsytip · 10 months ago
Text
Withering for You || Seungcheol- Part 4
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Pairings: Seungcheol x Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, CEO! Seungcheol au, Husband! Seungcheol au, Wife! Reader au, Music Teacher! Reader au, Arranged Marriage au, College Sweetheart au, Exes to Lovers au
Synopsis: When you are arranged married to the man, whose heart you had broken years ago, even dreaming about mending things seems next to impossible when he has been holding grudge for all these only to return it to you tenfold.
Warnings (specific to this part): drama, crying, profanities, everyone is hurt and sad, everything is on rocks, mentions of infidelity (doesn't happen to though), mention of alcohol consumption, betrayal, italics represents occurrences in past
Word Count: 6.3k
TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES IS CLOSED!
Banner credits to my baby @hoeforhao <3
[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]
Teaser | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Epilogue
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They say betrayal is worse than death if you taste it from someone you trust, someone you love. It's stingy, it's sickening, it's scathing.
You have always believed in soulmates, entitled Seungcheol to that word since you've known him, even wanted to make promises of eternity with him. But you should have seen the signs, should have never crossed the lines. Must not have tried to slip into the loopholes.
But you got blinded by greed, a hopeful stance of getting back together. Was it so wrong to wish a happily ever after with the one you have loved selflessly? Apparently it was.
"Sit.", you tell Seungcheol and the later obeys.
And as he does so his eyes fall on a very familiar document kept on the table. Instantly, he goes numb.
You observe him for a moment and play the recordings Jiah had given you. Midway, a panic stricken Seungcheol runs to you and pauses the recording.
He grabs your arms and says in desperation, "I didn't do all this Y/N. I admit I had planned all this because I wanted revenge but please trust me, it wasn't me."
"Unhand me.", you command him coldly, "Your touch disgusts me."
Seungcheol looks at you alarmingly before freeing your arms. He thinks of ways to convince you because in actuality, like he said he had planned it all but something out of scope happened. He fell in love with you again so long gone were all of those thoughts and schemes.
"What goes around, surely comes around.", you let out a chuckle, "Maybe that's why, I'm going through this. I get that you wanted to trample me upon. It's fair, to think about what you've been through because of me, I could have understood.", you look at him, "You could have handed me the divorce papers on our anniversary. Could have had other women and it would have wounded me. But-"
The tears pooling at the corner of your eyes are streaming down, "But how could you stoop so low? Knowing how much this academy matters to me, knowing what music means to me, you went out to attack my soul."
"No Y/N, I was a fool, please please", Seungcheol is crying as well, choking on his words, "It was wrong of me but I would never--"
"They are calling me a thief. Because of this incident those out there are questioning my whole career. The career, I've pursued after fighting the odds, after struggling for years. The one thing that is entirely mine.", your eyes turn darker as you say, "You could have rather killed me, Seungcheol."
Seungcheol gasps and shakes his head frantically.
"Even if I clear my name today, there will be people who'll still doubt my ability. Some out there would assume that I might be guilty and just because I belong to an influential family, I must have pushed everything under the rug with money.", you are hurting yourself with every word you utter at this point, clutching your chest, "My image is tainted, my career is ruined. They will never look at me the same way."
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N", he gets on his knees and clasps his hands, pleading, "I would do anything to clear your name. I'd do anything to win back your trust just give me one chance--"
You take his hands off you saying, "I have always loved you, Seungcheol. Back then, even now, I have chosen you. But none of that matters now. You have stabbed me in the back but I'll be one to pay the price. I thought you'd be different but these genes run in your family. I can't even blame Jiah. You Choi's are no different from her--", you halt.
"What do you mean?", Seungcheol asks confused.
"As I said none of that matters now. You are so petty that you acted out the whole thing. You don't love me and from today onwards I won't either.", you answer him, taking out the wedding ring from your dress pocket, "Here, I'm giving you what you wanted.", you take his hand and place the ring on his palm, "Congratulations! This marriage didn't get through it's first year. But I have a present for you. I have filed for divorce, the papers will be sent to you as soon as they're ready."
Seungcheol is at loss of words. He's unable to comprehend the situation. He wants to stop you but on what ground? The irreversible damage is already done.
"I have all of my belongings sent over.", you inform him, "And if you're planning to create a fuss about the divorce and what's gonna happen after the conference, head on. I won't be giving up like last time. I'll see through the end of it."
"It's happening again", he tells himself and sounds so broken when he speaks through his wavering voice, "Please don't leave me again."
"I had no choice, I was forced to leave you back then", you mutter under your breath, making it impossible for him to hear, "I was willing to stay this time but I have to leave, this time for my sake."
While you gather the rest of your belongings, Seungcheol stands there helpless. And as you walk out of the house, he watches you take away the life of his adobe with you.
Seungcheol numbly tunes in to watch the press conference. He sees you on the screen, out of his reach, out of his life. He listens to each word you say. How sad you look as you address the matter. Even though your legal team briefs the journalists, his eyes are glued to you. He observes how you don't explicitly mention him or the Choi enterprise but throw sublte hints to catch on.
But you make it obvious at the end of the conference by announcing your divorce to Seungcheol.
"I have filed for divorce against Choi Seungcheol and I would like to refrain you all from associating me with the Choi's in future."
Seungcheol is immediately thrown under the bus. People who were coining you as a thief are now praising you and busy portraying him as the villain.
But mopping won't do him any good. His mind reel backs to every word you have said before leaving. He needs to get answers to some questions. Most importantly, he has to get you back.
The next few days goes by Seungcheol handling the legal charges against him which are minor because he digs out enough evidence to prove that he wasn't involved in the slander and Jiah is the main culprit, adding exceptional charges to the list that would nearly ruin her and damage her company's reputation.
The Choi enterprise faces reputation loss as well which results in their stock plummeting and the board of directors complaining about the situation. But being humungous in business, the impact isn't uncontrollable and since Seungcheol is mentally exhausted his father lets him loose taking matters into his hands for the time being.
Everything is manageable or bearable except for the divorce papers which he has received on your first anniversary, that sits coldly on his office table.
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"The house I bought is an hour drive from here and I'm planning to stay there for some time, just to take my mind off of things." you say fishing out your car keys, "I have saved my new contact number to your phones."
"But are you sure you don't want us to be there with you?", your mother asks worriedly.
"At least let us help you shift--"
"Dad, I have lived alone before as well. Plus Chan and my friends are gonna help me with the unpacking.", you move over to hug both of your parents, "Visit me after it's done. Plus I'm planning to throw a cozy house warming house, not soon though."
"We're proud of you.", your mother says patting your head.
"I'm sorry for all the troubles and stress you've been through for the past year.", you mumble, quickly wiping your tears, "I'll be fine, no looking back promise."
"We have always trusted you, just take care of yourself and call us.", your father says kissing your forehead.
Chan waits for you by the car and he doesn't let you drive throughout the time it takes to reach your new house. As your friends help you settle into your new home, you are grateful to them for keeping you distracted and not bringing up Seungcheol.
"I'm sorry, Kwan. The academy had to face such an incident because of me.", you say hanging your head low in shame because you don't want anyone to see your tears, the can of beer in your hand remains unsipped, "I have decided to take some time off, please handle the academy and it's okay if you want me to backout. I'll transfer my shares to you."
Seungkwan blames the atmosphere for the tears in his eyes. He wipes them and sits beside you, "I couldn't have done it alone. The reason the academy exists is because we both had given it our all. So take all the time you want but you'll have to return."
You lean onto him and it's your brother who comes to wipe your tears.
"I'm so sorry Chan.", you speak through the tears, "I should have listened to you. I never thought that Seu--", you go quiet because it pains you to even say his name.
Everyone in room goes silent. It's not haunting rather comforting. But the successive ringing of the phones cause a mild commotion.
"Wonwoo keeps on calling us.", Eunsoo mutters, switching off her phone.
"Just tell him that I'm fine.", you tell her, "I'll give him a call later. I haven't visited Wonseok lately so I need to talk to him anyways."
It's amusing, how the night changes.
Seungcheol is distressed. He realises you are not the only one he has lost, he has lost Ms. Oh's empathy, he has also lost precious friend Wonwoo as well.
Wonwoo is back to his stoic self, the version he was when Seungcheol met him first. Only talks business with him, leaves as soon as he's done with assigned work. No more late night drinks, no more taking shots, none of the banter.
He watches you laugh as Wonwoo tells you something animatedly. He watches how your eyes are dull even though your lips are stretched.
Seungcheol had overheard Wonwoo talking to someone on the phone about his brother so he decides to visit him seperately just to check on him. He didn't expect to see you there, making him question since when you knew about Wonseok.
Your face falls when you're suddenly interrupted by Seungcheol's presence. He stands in front of you wordless, you don't bother to strike any conversation with him either.
"I'll get going, let me know if you need anything else.", you tell Wonwoo and turn around walk away.
"Y/N", Seungcheol says, "Can I please talk to you?"
You crane your neck to meet his gaze, "I don't think we have any business with each other. Do me a favour and just sign the divorce papers."
"I can't.", Seungcheol speaks out without missing a beat, "I need you Y/N, please give me a chance, let me make things right. I promise I won't let you down anymore."
"Enough with this act, don't assume you could fool me twice. I'm done with you.", you move around so now you're facing him again.
"You've changed your number.", he says meekly, "I don't get to see you anymore. That house haunts me, it's not the same without you."
You step in, closing the gap within you two, "You're facing the consequences of your actions. Stop acting like a fucking victim.", you spat out before walking out.
Wonwoo is torn. He doesn't want to take sides, it's even more difficult to see both of his dear friends grieving and suffering but there's nothing he could do.
"Wonseok is going through a series of surgeries because his condition had worsened and Y/N has been paying for them.", Wonwoo informs Seungcheol and before he could ask, Wonwoo adds, "You're already paying me more than I should be so I didn't want to burden you more. She had accidentally found out about Wonseok one day and decided to help me out even though I wasn't ready to accept it. She was determined and I couldn't stop her."
Seungcheol isn't surprised rather he is confused. This version of yours is what he was habituated to when you were dating until you convinced him it wasn't on the day you broke up. Something isn't adding up. Something about your nature and the way you act to what you had said that day are contradicting. You aren't mean-hearted, you are a giver so why did you years ago do something so bizarre, the thought is unsettling.
"She has been taking some time off from the academy, no one knows when she'll be back. She is so affected by the incident that she was ready to give up on the academy. The one she had built from scratch with her blood, sweat and tears." Wonwoo speaks disappointedly, "Do you realise what you have done?"
Seungcheol is ashamed, there's an unhealing pain in his heart thinking about you, about how he should be the one aiding you in your tough time but he can't because he's the reason you're in agony.
"As you know, I had also hated Y/N for what she had done. And now that you see me being friends with her is not because she's paying for Wonseok.", Wonwoo halts and takes a breath, choosing his words carefully, "It goes far beyond that. You have always been heedful, I think it's time for you to be vigilant as well. The truth might be far from what you've believed it to be."
Wonwoo doesn't spare another second on his watch as he walks away ignoring the desperate calls of his name.
Seungcheol's mind is not in place anymore.
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Your thoughts are everywhere. Peace and happiness are some of the things you haven't gotten to feel lately. Though you've decided to spend time alone at home, the loneliness is caving you in.
Maybe tonight you're feeling a little more lonely than usual. Maybe you shouldn't miss the person who had pushed you to the edge of the cliff. Maybe you shouldn't be good with dates. Maybe you shouldn't trace your thumb on the calendar reminiscing about the day, you both had made it official years ago.
The damned tears aren't stopping, your heart isn't healing.
The bell rings and you are surprised because no one is supposed to visit you today. Quickly wiping your eyes and cheeks you don't bother to check the monitor and open the door.
At the other side of the threshold stands Seungcheol. Your red eyes gape at him as he looks at you shivering from driving all the way here in the snow.
"What are you doing here?"
You know getting your new address and number wouldn't be a big deal to Seungcheol given his network runs deeper.
"Can you let me in atleast, I'm freezing."
You cross over your arms and step aside. He saunters in and wanders off to have a tour of the house. He stops when he senses the glare you're sending him.
"If you realise that this house too plain for your taste you can always contact me. We're best in the business.", Seungcheol says as his lips purse in a line.
"I wonder from where did you get the audacity to come here?", you ask plainly.
"Just wanted to see you", he admits, "I miss you, Y/N."
You scoff at his words.
"Also, there's something you left behind, I found it while going through the drawers.", Seungcheol fishes out a notebook from his inner coat pocket.
You immediately recognise the object, raising your hand flat for him to handover it to you.
"I instantly got reminded of you always carrying it and scribbled down if anything came to your mind. Seems like you had kept this notebook from prior to university days.", he hands over the notebook and touches your hand gently in the process.
His touch turns to strong grip and he doesn't let go.
"Thanks.", you say trying to free your hand, "You should leave now."
The wedding ring on his finger feels cold on your skin.
"I know you remember what day it is today.", he says pulling you closer so that now you're colliding into him, your faces an inch apart. Your eyes are wide and the notebook falls as you're grabbing onto his shoulder out of reflex.
He has an undeniable look of longing in his eyes. You should just push him away, even kick him out but you find yourself frozen.
"I still remember falling in love with you, every moment of it.", he whispers, his gaze switching between your eyes and lips.
"So I do, Cheol.", his nickname slips out of your mouth so casually, there's a pause before you speak, "Why did you have to ruin it all?"
"I regret it all.", he gently holds your face, "But I realised that I never stopped loving you otherwise why would I despise you if I hadn't been in love in the first place."
"You could have broken my heart but you went after my soul."
"You did the same to me years ago. You took my soul away and I became just a shell.", he isn't complaining, just letting you know how difficult it was for him as well, "I planned everything to get back to you but what wasn't planned was my feelings resurfacing, falling in love with you all over again. I had forgotten all the schemes, had forgotten the reason why I hated you in the first place."
When he rests his forehead against yours, you close your eyes basking in the moment. What he did was definitely beyond any excuse but Seungcheol isn't entirely at fault. The fact that he was ready to start again with you after how you had treated him years ago proves the truth behind his words. The difference is you were forced to act out but he wasn't. He chose to destroy you.
So your eyes snap open and you're pushing him away.
"Leave Seungcheol.", you step away, "And never come back again."
Seungcheol sighs, "What should I do for you take me back? If you want I would never show myself in the vicinity of the academy. I wouldn't even ask you anything remotely related to your works or the academy. I'll stay all out of it, I promise."
"Nothing you do would make me go back to you.", your words taste bitter in your mouth, "We are not meant to be, we're not good for each other."
That is basically you firmly rejecting him, letting him aware that he has axed the mended fence.
Seungcheol smiles sadly, "Only if I could show you my heart and mind."
He then leaves with a heavy heart.
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The next few days goes by Seungcheol racking his thoughts to make up his mind. Every time he thinks about you wanting to desperately cut ties with him, he relents. He laments on himself for what he has caused. At nights when he deliberately stays late, he mentally prepares himself to sign those papers because that's the only way to atone for his sins.
But those divorce papers get through every night without getting signed. Because when Seungcheol thinks he's ready that's when the realisation gnaws on him that he's actually not, that he'll never be.
And it gets harder each time he tries.
So one night, he lets his intrusive thoughts get the best of him and he ends up calling you.
"I'm trying but I can't bring myself to sign those papers", he speaks into the phone clutching it hard followed by a shaky breath, "I really want to give you what you want but whenever I think about not having you in my life, my willingness deters."
You stay quiet.
"Sorry to disturb you. Don't know what I was thinking. Please take care of yourself, bye.", he hangs up and collapses back on the chair.
Wonwoo watches through the blinds and he isn't new to this. Years ago Seungcheol had gone into a spiral, had almost given up on living post the breakup and now it hurts Wonwoo to see the history repeating itself.
So this time he promises to intervene for both of your sake, specially Seungcheol.
He has two things on his to-do list and though he isn't sure what the outcome will be, he's going to do them. He gathers everyone and let's them know of his plan.
"Mingyu, Eunsoo, Seungkwan", his gaze sweeps on the three, "You're gonna go and convince Y/N."
"I'll go to uncle and aunt.", Wonwoo says.
Eunsoo looks at him questionably, "We get our part. But are you sure your friend's gonna be okay?"
"Most importantly, I'm not sure how this will end because both of them are unpredictable as fuck.", Mingyu adds.
Seungkwan who was silent the whole time, speaks, "Guys, let's go for it. We will handle the aftermath.", he looks at Wonwoo, "You'll have to take care of Seungcheol because he's gonna hurt the most."
"It's better to be over it, Seungcheol deserves to know."
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"What's wrong with you guys?", You ask absolutely astonished. All of your friends have suddenly busted into your house and are now advocating you on something that is supposed to be out of their box.
"Why are you suddenly siding with Seungcheol?", you say with a frown, "I'm feeling betrayed. I'm gonna call Chan now."
Eunsoo and Mingyu break into cold sweat knowing how scary your brother can be. Seungkwan sighs looking at the other two and gets that he has no other way but to sort down to what he's best at. He says, "Y/N, do you think we'd ever think ill of you? Do you think we'd be at your door because suddenly we felt emphatic towards Seungcheol? That's how lowly you think of us?"
The look on Mingyu and Eunsoo's faces are absolute comedic. They didn't expect Seungkwan would pull out his trump card.
Your gaze is unwavering when you say, "This won't work on me you know right?"
Seungkwan smiles, "Of course I know but we also know that you love Seungcheol and won't be happy without him. So we're saying all this just for your sake, not his, not anyone else's."
"You're wr-"
"You had 7 years but you couldn't get over him, even accepted his family just to marry him.", Seungkwan continues, "You had come across so many good men all these years but no one piqued your interest because you only had Seungcheol in your heart."
"Y/N, I did believe him when he said he fell in love again. I had seen the way he looked at you, the way he was protective around you. The way his eyes were always on you, radiating love. It may have started as an act but at some point it became real.", Eunsoo smiles at you, "He loves you."
"But Soo--"
"If you really loathed him, you wouldn't have waited for him to sign those divorce papers, you would have upsurged everything. You have the power to ruin the Chois wholly but you're just buying yourself some time.", Mingyi adds and immediately shifts to hug you, "What Seungcheol did was incredibly wrong, wait he didn't even do it. It was Jiah."
"Are you not getting Jiah did all just to separate you both again?", Seungkwan ask and you look at him wide eyed.
"She had done the exact thing years back and was successful. Please don't let her win again. If she can't have Seungcheol, she has planned all this for you to not have him as well.", Eunsoo voices out her concerns, "Don't let all these heartbreaks, tears and sacrifices go in vain just because of some misunderstandings. Don't do something you'd regret because you didn't mend it when you had a chance."
Your heart sinks at their words.
"Take your time but choose what you think is the best for you.", Eunsoo rubs your back gently, "Rationality shouldn't always take the stance, sometimes hearts should be listened to."
You take a deep breath and say, "Fine guys, I'll think about it."
The smile on their faces are unmatchable.
Seungcheol is worried when he receives a call from his mother asking him to urgently come to their house. Wonwoo is already waiting by the car and though Seungcheol asks if he knows anything he stays tight lipped throughout the ride.
"I'll be waiting for you right here. Call me if you need me.", Wonwoo says with an intone and for some reason it doesn't resonate well with Seungcheol.
He is led into his father's study where he sees both of his parents waiting. They are heartbroken seeing their only son. Seungcheol has lost weight, accumulated bags under red eyes, appearance unkempt.
"Take a seat.", his father says, "I have something to tell you and it's regarding Y/N."
Seungcheol immediately perks up at your mention. An eerie silence falls upon the room. Seungcheol's anxious gaze searches for his parents'.
"Y/N was forced to break up with you years ago. I had made her do so.", his father admits.
Seungcheol freezes. He thinks he's hearing things that are not supposed to make any sense.
"Ever since I had started the business I had been diligent to it. Dedication and honesty does account for success but so also being money minded and cunning. As years went by that consistency and success made me cling to riches, fame and status that came along with it.", his father says as he takes a seat gesturing him to do the same. "You must be remembering that we were facing financial crisis because one of our major investor had withdrawn. It had affected us greatly."
Seungcheol nods, "We were on the verge of facing bankruptcy."
"Since Jiah's father runs a finance company, we had made small sort of deals previously but that time the amount required was large and no one was willing to help us not even her father. But later Jiah came to me and offered me a deal."
"W-What deal?"
"That she would convince her father to provide us support only if", there's an ominous pause before Mr. Choi looks at him and says, "I remove Y/N out of your life."
A tear falls from his eye, as he hears the tale of betrayal from none other but his father.
"I have never liked Y/N, the reason was basic, she didn't belong to our circle. Initially I thought she was just a fling but so I agreed with Jiah."
Seungcheol is numb at this point, he just sorts to listening.
"One day I had brought in Y/N to let her know that she needs to find her way out of your life.", Mr. Choi's gaze falls, "She instantly refused. No matter what I said she wasn't willing to leave you. One meeting turned to two, two turned to three but she was hellbent on not letting you go."
"With Jiah constantly pressurizing me, threatening to nullify the deal if not taken action soon, I became desperate.", he confesses, "So I resorted to one thing I should have never done. I can never forgive myself for that."
You say in utter disbelief, "Why don't you tell your son to breakup with me instead? Stop pestering me, you know we both love each other and Mr. Choi let me make this clear, this is the last time I'm meeting you."
Mr. Choi gives you a sickening smile. He casually says, "Your brother is currently studying in Australia, if I'm not wrong."
You pale instantly, "W-What about him?"
"You're right, this is gonna be our last meeting. If you don't breakup with my son, I'm not sure what I'll do with your brother. What if you don't get to see your dear little brother anymore?"
"Mr. Choi, you can't do this. Please--"
"I'm not here to negotiate. I think you're smart enough to make the right choice. So tell me Y/N, what did you decide?"
You are crying and begging but there's no mercy reserved to spare for you. How are you supposed to choose between your brother and the love of your life? You will have to so you choose what's best for all, you choose both.
"Fine, I'll breakup with Seungcheol. So stay away from my brother."
Mr. Choi smiles in mirth, "You made the right descision. Rest assured."
With job being done, he is walking out of the hall when your call of his name reaches his ears.
He turns with an incredulous look on his face as he waits for you to speak.
"Promise me that you'll never tell Seungcheol about this incident.", comes your strained voice.
"I wasn't planning to anyways.", Mr. Choi says, "Even better for me, I promise to not tell Seungcheol about any of this."
Seungcheol runs to his father with the intention of doing something unspeakable but he stops right in front of him and collapses on the ground.
"How could you do this?", he sobs uncontrollably, "How could you stoop so low?", he balls his hands into fists and channels the anger on the floor, hitting it again and again that's when his mother steps in to stop him.
He looks at her and say, "How could you not tell me? How could you tolerate your husband even after knowing all this?", he then swats her away.
Getting up, he's gasping for air, unable to comprehend with the pain in his chest and head. Restlessness engulfs him but he doesn't let both of his parents to even touch him.
"I'm ashamed to call you both my parents.", he spats out, "I'll never forgive for ruining our lives. I hope all of this was worth it."
Then he's running out of the house ignoring the calls of his name. Wonwoo is immediately grabbing his friend, making him sit and drink water.
"You also knew but didn't tell me?", Seungcheol asks as fresh tears stream down his face.
"I only came to know recently and Cheol even if I had known, it's not my story to tell.", Wonwoo answers.
It takes Seungcheol over an hour to calm down.
"You don't need to attend me, I'm fine.", Seungcheol says stoicly, "You can go, I have somethings to take care of."
Though Wonwoo refutes but Seungcheol is adamant, leaving no choice for him but to obey his boss.
As soon as Wonwoo gets out of the car, Seungcheol drives off.
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You are extremely tired, mentally and today for some reasons are you feel thinned out physically as well.
Staring at the cello, ominous thoughts fill in your mind. Because no matter how hard you try, you are unable to produce anything. There are no notes or no tunes, it's all blank.
And you're scared, what if music doesn't choose you anymore? What if you can't produce anything for the rest of your life? All these possibilities scares you enough to spend sleepless nights. It has disturbed your appetite as well.
Tossing and turning, as you've been doing for nights with minimal sleep at dawn hours, you sit up startled when the doorbell rings.
All the exhaustion is now replaced with concern when you see Seungcheol who continuously weeps at the door.
"What happened? Are you okay?"
Just a shake of head and he keeps on crying.
It's been about twenty minutes since he arrived crying and you're seriously considering about calling Wonwoo.
The way he's visibly hurting, hurts you too and you resort to hug him, patting his back, "If you're hurting because of me, please don't.", you say softly, tears pricking at your eyes subconsciously.
Seungcheol pulls away, looking at you. His sobs stop and the first thing he does is hold your face and kiss you. You're surprised, his lips graze yours but you don't kiss him back. Your hands push his chest and he's detaching himself mumbling a string of apologies.
"It was all for nothing.", he sounds so heartbroken when he speaks, "All those years spent in pain, hatred and resentment towards you, you didn't deserve any of it."
You have an inkling and it doesn't settle well in your bones, "Whatever you're saying is making no sense. Why are you here?"
Seungcheol looks dead in your eyes, "Because I know now. I know what happened all those years ago."
Your soul leaves your body at his words. You never wanted him to find out because you knew it'd tear him apart.
"W-Who told you?"
"Does it matter?"
And your very first instinct is to grab your phone and make a call to his father but Seungcheol doesn't let you. The phone gets snatched from your hands and thrown away somewhere.
"Why did you do it?", he asks and his questions irks you.
You scoff, "Are you seriously asking me why I did it after knowing everything? Seungcheol, I was threatened with my brother's life, what did you expect me to do?"
Seungcheol shakes his head, "No that Y/N. Why did you make dad promise you about not telling me about this?"
"What could I have done Seungcheol?", your voice cracks, "I loved you so much and trust me, I tried everything I could to be with you, to not hurt you but-- it killed me to lie to you. I went through hell and back trying to stop myself from telling you 'no I'm lying, please don't leave, I love you as much as you do'.
"That day I took your heart away.", You exhale sharply, "I didn't want to crush your soul as well, didn't want to make it anymore difficult for you then it already was. I knew how much you looked upto your father, how much you cherished your parents. I didn't want you to fight your family", your heart twinges as you continue, "Though it wasn't possible for me to love again, I prayed that you would move on, meet someone who'd make you forget all the sorrows I gave you. I wished for you to fall in love again and live happily."
You chuckled through your tears, "Won't lie, it would have hurt me but if it assured your happiness I'd have hurt myself all over again, all of the times."
Seungcheol observes you quietly, he absorbs your words to his heart.
"What does that make me, Y/N?", he asks defeated.
"You weren't at fault, Cheol. I chose what it seemed the best for all of us."
"I hated you, married you and plotted revenge. Hurt you and now indirectly lead to something that almost ruined your career.", he speaks as if he's narrating a monologue, "I kept wounding the wounded and siding with the foes."
"Stop blaming yourself. What you did was indeed wrong, you should have never attempted take a blow at my career. But years ago, even after all that you were ready to start again.", you remind him.
Seungcheol completely shuts himself out.
"Till yesterday, I was in a dilemma. They say if you love someone you should let them go. Call me selfish but I couldn't even think of parting ways with you. I wanted to fight for us. I'd have courted you until you got bored of me. I would have waited for a lifetime, even if you'd have moved on.", he avoids eye contact so that his resolution doesn't deter, "But how could I tie you to the people who tried to harm you, harm your family?"
"I won't beg for forgiveness anymore. Honestly, I don't want you to forgive us. If you're having second thoughts about us, discard them. Please just discard me.", he voices out in desperation, "Be selfish and choose yourself this one time."
He takes out a paper from his coat pocket which you recognise very well.
"Till yesterday signing these papers seemed impossible for me but it's surprising, how events turned out to be.", he takes your hand and places the paper saying, "I have signed them. This time I chose what's best for you."
There's a sickening churn in your stomach that makes you realise that there's nothing you can do.
"I love you, Y/N."
The weight of those words fall heavy on you as Seungcheol closes in.
"For one last time, please.", he says holding your face.
You incline towards him and instantly his lips are on yours. One of his hands now settle on your neck firmly as your lips dance on featherly. His other hand is gripping your waist to hold you in place. The saltiness of his tears burn on your tongue, making you suck in a gasp. His kisses you till his heart's content because it's a kiss of goodbye before resting his forehead on yours.
"Don't go", your strained voice whispers, "Please don't go."
Seungcheol whispers back, "I have to. Please don't stop me, I'm not strong enough to refuse you."
The tears stream down your face, "Would nothing I do be enough to stop you?"
"Y/N, please", he pleads, "You were right when you said we're not meant to be because I have only hurt you. I don't deserve you."
"Cheol..."
He steps back and you're suddenly engulfed by coldness.
"The chapter named Choi Seungcheol in your life ends right now.", he balls his hands, grits his teeth, does everything to not let those tears spill, "Since you might not submit the divorce papers, I have already handed over a copy to your attorney."
He turns back, rubbing his chest, the pain is unbearable.
"Cheol, please..."
"It's snowing so don't follow me outside, you'll catch a cold. Goodbye Y/N."
Then he leaves, from your house, apparently from your life.
And you realised not all stories have a happy ending, there's not always a happily ever after.
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→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️
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titaswrld · 3 months ago
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I have a request for a deadpool fic, if you could make a very angsty story where deadpool thinks he is undeserving of love and never thinks someone in this world would fall for him 😭 he is self-conscious about his looks and never in his right mind it crossed him that he has a chance with the reader, but he would do anything just to feel loved. he's just a constantly depressed ball of sadness, and the only way he copes with his thoughts is his dark humor. while the reader is head over heels for that man, and she's showering him in love, but he only thinks it's because they're friends 😭🫶🏼
monster
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description: wade wilson being insecure about his looks, not knowing if the girl he loves would ever love him back.
paring: wade wilson x reader!
contains: angst! with happy ending (i didn’t know how to end it😭)
w.c: 1.2k
|an: finally writing forreals again! i needed to get back into it. thank u for ur request, i hope u like it😇 reader is a baker bc i couldn’t think of a more wholesome career path😭
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you’ve known your best friend, wade wilson, for almost a year now. starting off as just occasional friends, hanging out at each other's apartments, watching chick flicks, and eating your weight in junk food until your friendship grew into something deeper, feeling nothing but love and admiration for another and the desire to be something more.
he’s so in love with you; he knows that now. he tried to deny it; he tried telling himself there’s no way, there’s absolutely no way a woman as intelligent, as confident, and as kind as you could ever love a monster like him. He knew you deserved better—a handsome, young, intelligent accountant or something.
his field of work is dangerous; he knows that. killing random people he doesn’t even know for cash. large sums of cash, sure. but, nonetheless, killing. he honestly always found it humorous, a trained marksman, mercenary, and vigilante , with his super cool awesome, still in school to become a pâtissière best friend!
he knew you’d leave; he knew no human being on planet earth could bear even looking at his rough, bumpy skin. that’s why he’s yet to show you his face, never failing to wear his mask around you, even though you’ve known each other for so long now. he didn’t know why you were still around after all this time even with the mask on, he knew most people found him to be annoying, aggravating, and just an all around piece of shit person, but for some reason, you liked him, and you enjoyed being around him.
he’s never had someone so close to him, as you are with him. you’re so kind, so affectionate, and so touchy. he thinks it’s just pity, you’d never think of him as anything more than a friend.
he dreamt of being the man who loved you the rest of your life; he wished that he could fall asleep and wake up to your face every day, make you laugh every day, eat every meal with you, watch every movie and every show, spend every holiday together, fuck, even start a family. he craved you. he craved your love, your care, and your kindness; he wanted to be normal with you, but he’s not normal, far from it. he knew better than that. he knew he didn’t deserve that. he would never be the man that you love.
he’s not ready to let you go, but he can’t keep his feelings for you inside any longer. he honestly dug himself into an even deeper hole, choosing to come over almost every free night he had. he couldn’t stay away from you; he hated being away from you. during every mission and every fight, all he thought about was coming home to you. you’re the only person who truly understood him for the man that he is, and he loves you for that. he’s never opened up to anybody the way that he’d opened up to you. you were special, so special to him. he was terrified.
you felt hopeless, stupid, and desperate. every advance you made, you’d failed. from baking him his favorite treats, to holding his hand while you watched a movie on the couch, to giving him hugs that lasted a little longer than necessary after a long mission, you couldn’t get your best friend out of your mind, not if you tried. hou crave him, his love, his care, his stupid fucking jokes that never end, his sarcastic nature, his sass—you don’t think you have ever loved a man the way that you love wade.
sometimes, he made you think that he might like you back, that he might have some sort of romantic interest in you, but it was quickly shut down after he made a joke, basically telling you that it would never happen.
you and wade were sitting on the couch, just talking, telling stories, and catching up after a particularly long time apart. until you had thought of a statement, that could’ve told you whether or not wade may or may not feel the same way.
your best friend, mia, had mistaken you and wade for a couple while on the phone. when you denied her statement, she apologized, saying she’s sorry for assuming, but you did spend all your time together..
when you told wade what she said, he doubled down in laughter before spitting out, “you? me? never. who is this friend? have i met her? has she seen me before? you might need to get her 5150’d.”
which did shatter your heart into a million pieces, but nonetheless, it wouldn’t stop you from trying to show him how much you care, how much you want to be with him, and how much you want to love him. he deserved love, and you wanted to give it to him.
each time he made a self-deprecating joke, it broke your heart. it was torture for you. the most he would ever do is lift his mask slightly when he ate with you, only to pop a piece of food in his mouth, then sheathe his face with his mask once again to chew, repeating the process until he’d finished. but even then, you never looked out of respect.
there were multiple occasions where you could’ve snuck a peek, where you could’ve turned around and saw his full face, but you knew how genuinely insecure he felt and how scared he was for you to see his face, so you never looked, not wanting to betray his trust or make him uncomfortable. you loved him, and you wish he understood that absolutely nothing could change that. especially not the way he looks.
today, you were sat on your couch, waiting for him to arrive. He said he’d be over tonight for the usual—rom-coms and junk food. but today, you felt different, your balls finally dropped, and you were ready to admit how you felt, whether it was a good or bad outcome, you were ready.
every single worst-case scenario clouded your thoughts, making your palms sweaty and causing a deep ache in your chest until you heard a knock at your door, saving you from plummeting even farther into your head.
you open the door, and time feels slow motion. you didn’t see deadpool; you saw wade for the first time- the real wade. standing there with an anxious expression plastered across his mottled face, snacks in one hand and flowers ripped from the dirt outside of your apartment complex in the other.
your stomach dropped along with your expression, the shock stunning you into place as you began to gather your thoughts. this is what he was hiding, you thought. jesus christ, all of that trouble for this? you could almost hit him.
wade, on the other hand, paced in your hallway, back and forth for 15 minutes before this, trying to decide whether he should just bail and leave the fucking country or finally stop being pussy and just show you his goddamn face.
after seeing your initial reaction, his head dropped, his gaze on the floor, as he muttered, “i know. total freak show, right? freddy kruger? craterface? cmon, lay it on me.”
now was your chance, as you cupped his face with your hands and pressed your soft lips against his dry, cracked ones. you felt his tense muscles drop and relax as he melted into the kiss, relishing in the feeling and making sure it was real, too.
you’d pulled away, looking him in the eyes and flashing a smile his way before placing kisses all over his cheeks, forehead, nose, and chin.
your gaze fell across his face once again, this time meeting you with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.
“so— ten things i hate about you, or steel magnolias?”
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asumi2020202 · 4 months ago
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Was I truly that Bad?
Pairing: Dad!Daemon x reader
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Summary: Whilst fulfilling the wishes of his Queen, Daemon accidentally hurt you beyond repair. He regretted it till death.
A/n: This idea just recently popped up in my head. So I wrote it down hehe. Anyways, this will have the ending same as Helaena's. Thank you for reading.
Note:
There are some changes in the storyline.
It is short, I don't really know if I like it.
____________________________ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ_____
All throughout the realm, you were the only one acknowledged as a true born child of Rhaenyra. You had silky white hair, and violet eyes like you mother and... Father
Rhaenyra had a you in secret. You were conceived after the birth of Jace but before the birth of Luke. Everyone knew you were Daemon's daughter since his affection was not really secretive.
You were offered to Aemond Targaryen to 'fix' the rift between the family much to your father's dislike.
The Hell broke loose when Luke died because of your husband and his dragon.
You had a son with Aemond. He was the only light you had after receiving the news of Aegon's coronation.
Aemond tried to be there for you when Aegon said that you would not leave your room. He wanted to keep you hostage knowing you were the Queen and King consort's daughter.
_________________________________________
"He has white hair and one eye. Should be easy enough to find." Daemon spoke.
The man before him stayed silent for a second before replying "What if we can't find him?".
Daemon only looked him in eye before giving further information.
_________________________________________
You were in the nursery, singing to you child when suddenly someone entered.
You thought it was a maid or Aemond. So you turned around only to find a rat catcher.
You were going to scream but he put his dagger on your throat before you could. You son was still in your arms.
The rat catcher smirked as another man entered.
"Who's she?" The other man asked.
"She's the Queen she is." Replied the rat catcher in a whispering manner.
"A son.. for a son he said."
"I know but look in her arms. That's the prince's son."
The rat catcher released your throat before saying " we ain't here to hurt ya. We only want the boy."
You looked visibly shocked and fear stricken.
"I have a necklace..... It is of great value." You spoke as you tried to removed it with one hand. The taller man tore it off you neck before saying "thats not a son."
"Kill me please. I beg you don't hurt my child." By now you were already crying. The rat catcher forcefully took your son from your hands.
In front of your very eyes you saw your little boy's head getting separated. The men hastily put his head inside a bag before leaving.
You started to sob heavily. Having difficulties breathing.
Aemond barged through the room after he heard your screams and wails. Alicent, Aegon and Otto were present too. Alicent wanted to throw up.
Aegon was sad. He always did love you. He wanted your mother to betroth you to him but he was already betrothed to Helaena. Now that he saw you like this, desperately trying to wipe the blood that oozed out of your son's body, he felt hurt too.
From that day forth, you didn't eat, sleep or even bathe. You were completely dead inside. More so when you got to know that the one who sent them was your father. Grief blinded you.
_________________________________________
The green council had decided to send you and the Dowager Queen to the funeral after they caught one of the perpetrator.
The people tried to reach for you as they saw your son, Baelor's body. The way the 1 year old boy's head was stitched with his neck.
The cart which held your son's body fell in a hole in the road. People tried to approach you and touch you, giving their condolences. You desperately clutched on Alicent's cloth as she tried to help you through your panic attack.
You couldn't hear anything. Only a ringing in your ear as you knelt in your and the Dowager Queen's cart. The last thing you heard was
"A curse! A curse on Rhaenyra the Monstrous!"
Someone cursed your mother. Soon all went black as your vision faded.
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"How could you do this Daemon?! To our sweet child!" Rhaenyra shouted, fury and sorrow flooding through.
"I told them specifically for Aemond. Shes my daughter as well, I know I did wrong. It was a mistake.
I was there that day. The day she was forced to attend the funeral. I am hurt as well knowing my daughter lost her son!" Daemon replied.
"You will never understand what a mother feels when she loses her child. My little girl lost her only child. Alicent reached out to me in secret! She told me that my girl is not even eating properly! She's down with a heavy fever..." Rhaenyra argued. She was crying.
Daemon had made a grave mistake. He never wanted to hurt you. He never meant for his grandchild to die. Right in front of your eyes. He wanted to kill Aemond for Luke's death, yes. But he wanted to kill Aemond so you could be free. So you could come back to your family. He never wanted to bring you pain. You were his daughter, his little zaldrīzes.
________________________________________
The black council was going on and on with what move they should play. Rhaenyra was getting frustrated.
Rhaenyra's personal maid, Elinda came in. She bowed before all, her eyes watering. As Rhaenyra was going to ask her what happened she said
"The princess is dead." All stopped. Everything and everyone silent. Rhaenyra stood still.
"A raven came in just n-now.... It said that Princess y/n jumped off of her window. H-her body was stabbed by Maegor's blades...." Elinda cried as she said. Leaving the room quickly.
The lords all left the council. Only Rhaena, Baela, Jacaerys, Daemon, Rhaenyra and Rhaenys were there.
Daemon couldn't comprehend anything. Her daughter..... Dead? No she wouldn't do that. A dragon's flame cannot be extinguished so easily.
Rhaenyra fell on the floor as Rhaenys supported her. She felt fury. But all she could do was cry. Her sweet girl. Her little Y/n. It was as if only yesterday she was tugging on her skirt and now she's....... dead.....
Jacaerys didn't know what to do. His little sister was dead. Consumed by the grief of the death of his nephew. First he lost Luke now y/n...
Baela and Rhaena cried that entire day. Blaming themselves for not protecting you as elder sisters should.
_________________________________________
Daemon was going to Harrenhal. As he was about to mount Caraxes, as guard came in and handed him something.....
....it was a necklace..... The same one he had given you. He felt a tear fall down his cheek. His heart hurt. So much. Yet he couldn't express it.
_________________________________________
Daemon had conquered Harrenhal. He was walking inside his leaking room when he heard his door being violently knocked on.
After picking up his sword, he carefully came down the stairs outside his room. He found a room.
He saw a figure humming while sitting infront of the fireplace.
As he got closer, the figure spoke to him
"I'm a bad child aren't i? You hate me. I always disobeyed everyone. But I only did so to be with you." It was you. His eyes watered. You were wearing the necklace he gave you.
He shook his head no. He didn't hate you because you disobeyed. He loved you for it.
"Why did you punish me so much ? Was I truly that Bad...... Kepã?" He heard you say as he got closer. He saw you stitching your son's head while crying.
His sword fell from his hand as he woke up. He opened his eyes to see a tree. He turned around and saw a woman.
_________________________________________
It was tough. But he did it anyway. He jumped off of Caraxes and landed on Vhagar.
Gripping the Dark Sister tight in his hand, he stabbed it straight through Aemond's right eye.
He saw as Aemond fall in the water. He stumbled as he fell off. Caraxes took Vhagar inside the water.
As Daemon slowly fell from the sky , all he could think about was you.
How he wished he could watch you grow. You were only seven and ten. To young to die.
Before his eyes flashed all the times that you ran away from your septa and hid behind his legs.
The little infant wouldn't stop crying until she was in his arms.
The little toddler first took her steps only to hug her father as he picked her up.
His little y/n. The one who died because of his one mistake.
His eyes were getting blurry and all he saw before he fell in the water was your face, the same face from his dream. Crying. Stitching his grandson's head.
He clutched your necklace tight in his arms as tears gathered in his eyes. His eyes were shut tight. And as he cried...
He repeatedly heard you cry and say
"Was I truly that Bad.............kepã?"
-Lillian
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januaryembrs · 1 year ago
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FIGHT TALK | Eddie Munson x Sunshine!Reader
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Request: Hi! Can I request a Drabble with the character Eddie Munson, with the prompt “I won’t let anyone hurt you, ever.”. Imagine that Eddie being protective and acting as a bodyguard to the reader who is being bullied a lot, he feels sorry and guard her.
description: Eddie is not very happy when he finds his darling girlfriend stashed in the AV room after her first fight
word count: 1.1k
trigger warnings: swears, blood, mention of the f slur, broken nose? very quick dirty thought from Eds (it’s Eddie what can I say)
main masterlist
authors note: eddie x sunshine reader is about to be a thing around this neck of the woods since my beloved @palacearcaderadiostation demands more 💗
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“He’s gonna fucking kill us,” Dustin held his hat scrunched tightly in his hands, as if he were in church or in mourning. “I never even got to say goodbye to Tews, my mom’s gonna be crushed,”
“Are you shitting me, he’s gonna make us wish we were dead,” Mike rubbed a hand over his tired face, “Do you remember what he did to Tommy H when he shook her soda can and it exploded in her face? My mom said the Hagen’s had to take him to a specialist in Chicago to get his nose fixed.”
Dustin paled even more, as Lucas returned with a sweat on his brow, the older boy hot on his heels.
“Move! Move out of my way- Out of my way,” Eddie cursed, shoving the other students hard enough they shot him dirty looks over their shoulders. Not that he cared, he had a sneer of his own as he looked down at the three boys that seemed to quiver in their place under his sable gaze, “Where is she?”
“Eddie, please understand- We tried to tell her-” Dustin spluttered as Mike seemed to biting the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from doing the same. Eddie simply put his hand in the kids face, glaring at him hard enough to silence him immediately.
The three of them would rather face the Wyvern they’d fought in their last campaign head on than have to deal with their dungeon master like this.
“Where is she, Henderson?” He growled, and the boys could do nothing but point to the AV room they’d stashed her in to keep her from the other student’s nosy gaze. Eddie didn’t need any other instruction, he was at the door in seconds, bursting through into the small, darkened room, his eyes falling on the girl sat on the table, legs swinging back and forth happily as if she wasn’t sporting a black eye and a bloodied nose. His breath hitched, his chest constricting tightly as he watched her own gaze flick to his. “Oh, baby,”
“Eds! Did you see? Did they tell you what I did?” She asked, her lips pulling into a smile as her boyfriend came closer, his hands grabbing the sides of her face, thumbs stroking over her cheeks.
“Mother of Christ, what did those shits do to you?” He snapped angrily, though his eyes were wide, the sadness written clear over them. Waving him off, she held onto his wrists with split knuckles, another factor that had him nearly clutching his pearls in aghast.
“It wasn’t their fault Eds, David Johnson was picking on Dustin for his lisp and calling them all-” She stopped, her nose scrunching in disgust when she thought of the word they’d used.
“Gay?” Eddie asked, to which she shook her head, though his eyes were quick to notice how the movement tugged on her split nose, “The other one?”
“The F one,” She muttered, hating that she even had to say it, “I dunno, I can take it when they say it about me. I just couldn’t stand to hear that about them, they’re good kids,”
He felt his expression soften, watching as she fiddled with her sleeve, another thing that had fallen casualty to her heroics as a thin tear trailed up her arm.
“You are just the bravest maiden there is, huh?” He asked, his chest butterflying when she looked up at him with the same happy smile she always had when he spoke like they were in one of his games, “And oh, your teeth! Those beautiful teeth, are they okay? Did they survive the warfare? Let me see,” Within seconds he had puckered her cheeks with one hand effortlessly, his other thumb lifting her lips up and down as if giving her an oral exam.
Her giggles vibrated on his palm that rested on throat as she tried to pull away from his grip, only partially succeeding as he took his finger out but held her still.
“-ds” She mumbled through her pursed lips, feeling him loosen on her jaw for just a moment before he gave her a gentle peck, careful not to bump her nose. Trying to pull away to tend to her ailments, he was stopped when he felt her fingers loop through his belt, tugging him forward for another longer kiss, her pretty lilac nails brushing against his tummy.
Chuckling as he pulled away, his hand moving from her jaw to cup her cheek sweetly, his eyes seemed to zero in on the cut on the bridge of her nose, the skin around it mottling into a bruise. He couldn’t miss the way it seemed to welt with fresh blood, the sight of it worrying him despite it being no bigger than his nail.
“You are just in luck, brave maiden, your medic has arrived prepared,” She smiled wryly as he dug through his bag until his face lit up as he brushed against the packet, “Ah, ha!”
Pulling out two from his collection, he held the bandaids up to her face so she could see for herself.
“Dangermouse or Ducktales?” He asked, the two brightly coloured cartoons staring back at her as she pointed to the three little ducklings.
“Ducktales, please,” She said, watching him peel the paper from the back, gently sticking it over the bridge of her sore nose, “I bet you do this for all your patients,”
“Only the most valiant of warriors,” He murmured, pecking the tip of her nose with soft eyes, “That’s just because you’re my favourite,”
She giggled again, as he picked up her scraped hand delicately, scanning over the small cuts attentively. Putting his hand to his mouth, he fake retched, covering his eyes in horror.
“Oh God,” He gasped, turning away from the sight, “Oh, god. I think we’re gonna have to amputate,”
Shoving him on his chest, she snickered at his dramatics, her fingers already scabbing over from their minor wounds. “Quit playin’. I was very brave today,”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that, baby,” He said, giving her knuckles some tender kisses, not caring it seemed gross seeing as she was bleeding. “Did you get him good at least, honey?”
She perked up even more, eyes alight with a sick little delight he hadn’t seen in her before. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t have his boxers stirring.
“I split his lip, would have gotten his nose too if he hadn’t jumped on me,” She said, and Eddie couldn’t help the raucous laugh that left his throat.
Pressing more kisses to her hairline he smiled, down at her from her place still sat atop the table. “Don’t worry, you’re on the bench in round two, Balboa. I’ll give him something to cry about,” He smirked at her, his nose brushing against hers sweetly, “I won’t let anyone hurt you, ever.”
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ssahotchnerr · 5 months ago
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Jack still sort of maintaining a relationship with Roy the first few years after Haley dies (Aaron thought it was important to maintain those connections for Jack even tho it hurt Aaron to do 😭 it was easy with Jess who he loves but SUCKED with Roy) but he gets extremely exclusionary once Ellie is born. Him being like “I will spend time with MY grandson who belonged to MY daughter but I will not be wasting my time, energy, and money on a child you’ve had with another woman. A child who – might I point out – would not have been born if you stayed married to my daughter and didn’t get her killed in the first place.”
Aaron being pissed on Ellie’s behalf (and his feelings are hurt tbh) and you being pissed on both of their behalfs. But, unexpectedly, Hc that Jack overheard this conversation and basically says to Aaron the next time Roy wants to take him somewhere (Aaron didn’t want to make HIM feel bad on top of everything else by banning him from seeing his grandfather, so he was gonna let him go), “I don’t want to spend time with grandpa Roy if he’s gonna be mean to Ellie. Thank you, but I’ll stay here.” SUCH A GOOD BIG BROTHERRRRR you and Aaron are so proud 🥺❤️
OHHH MY GOD??
roy just completely refuses to acknowledge that ellie exists 😭
it happened right from the start: when aaron shared the two of you were expecting, roy brushed it off, muttering something incoherently in response. after she's born, aaron invites him over for family dinners, he refuses to come. he's invited to ellie's first, second, third birthday party, doesn't come. every time he comes over, he acts like he's never seen her before. disregarding her completely.
it becomes very clear very fast that he wants to spend time with jack and jack only. as much as aaron hates to admit it, in a way, he understands. roy's bitter about what happened to haley, so this was somewhat expected. it's a different situation that's hard to navigate - ellie isn't related to him, so if roy doesn't want to bring her along to places, whatever, aaron's not going to force roy to do anything. the issue is what an issue it is. how ellie is being treated.
it's more of a problem when ellie is a bit older, and wants to tag along with jack wherever he goes. she just wants to be included 🥺 sweet ellie simply says hi when roy comes over to pick up jack, he ignores her. the next time, she draws him a picture, and he doesn't accept it.
aaron gently confronts him, and that's when roy brings up haley and how this child is a disgrace to her. imagine he full-on admits he wishes she never existed?? 😭 ellie's a product of what happened to haley, he'll never forgive aaron for getting her killed, so he'll never accept this child's existence. she shouldn't exist.
that angers aaron and he starts going off - ellie is a part of this family, whether you like it or not. and fine, you don't have to love her (saying that SHATTERS aaron's heart) but do not treat her like she's nothing. aaron won't let that stand.
it starts a huge argument 🥺 roy refuses speak to aaron, except when it comes to arranging his time with jack, and the conversation is very short at that. he doesn't speak much to you either (never has). again in his eyes - you're haley's replacement. jack's new "mom"
and it's especially sad because ellie knows about haley too :( - not the story, but the simple, good things: jack has another mommy, she's not here with us anymore but you can talk to her with a candle. haley has never been a avoided topic in the house, she's encouraged. and so ellie loves haley in her own way :( so to call her a disgrace in haley's name?? when she's also keeping haley's memory alive? :((((
you feel awful. you know how hurt aaron is but he doesn't allow himself to show it. he hates talking about it, and he's always in a mood whenever roy's with jack. you feel awful for your daughter who doesn't know what's going on. you feel awful for jack who's taking an unnecessary weight on his shoulders in terms of this too.
ellie's confused and upset, this is the first person who's ever shown her unkindness. aaron gently tries to explain, but also, how do you explain this to a toddler? so he simply apologizes and scoops her up into his arms and holds her close :( he feels awful, and as if he's failing her in someway. this is "his fault", isn't it? 😭
so if roy's taking jack out, aaron or you, or both combined, take ellie out for the day to do something fun. or try to keep jack heading out on the down-low. it sucks, you still both encourage jack to spend time with his grandfather - maintaining that important relationship - even though it's exceedingly complicated behind the scenes.
and jack, being the sweet sensitive kid he is, picks up on the tension immediately. and he's torn 🥺 he wants to appease his grandfather, knows what he's doing isn't right, but also doesn't want to betray his little sister, letting behavior like this continue. he feels guilty :( he takes the initiative and brings it up to roy himself, asking if ellie can come with them someday, like to the zoo or to a movie. but roy's pretty level-headed and his mind is made up - absolutely no ellie.
so jack gets really upset :( he gets home one day and cries about it :((( you're trying to console him, as is aaron (who's close to tears himself), and ellie wanders over :( she gets sad whenever jack is sad :( and while she has no idea what's going on exactly, she just buries herself right up into jack's side as he's crying. to comfort him too 🥺🫶🏻
overall it's a reallyyyy messy situation, one that you can only hope resolves with time :(
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vesppperoro · 6 months ago
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hii uhh, i had a little idea that id like to share if thats ok, it might be quite triggering tho so be warned ‼️
a sinner demon reader thats based on a teddy bear, because theyre too soft and mushy personality-wise, and they ended up in hell due to being suicidal. like their whole body is covered in stitches thats supposed to be a metaphor for sh scars
do whatever u want with that info, u can even ignore it if u like, have a nice day ❤️
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Hazbin Hotel Cast with a Teddy Bear!Sinner Reader
Includes: Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty, Sir. Pentious, Cherri Bomb, Alastor.
A/N: this is such an interesting idea! I’m going based on my own experiences as someone like this, along with research. I appreciate you for trusting me with this <3 I definitely WILL make a p2!! Might write for this sinner more tbh I loved writing them!! I thought you meant a child and I wrote that I’m so sorry 😭
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Charlie Morningstar
She truly didn’t understand why you were in hell.
You are such a sweetheart! She adores you.
When you showed up to the hotel one day, without clothes and covered in stitches, she was immediately worried.
She took you in and washed you up as best as she could.
You were like a child! Why were you even here?
She was happy that you wanted to be redeemed, however.
She became a mother figure to you.
You go to her when you’re sad and you hug her frequently.
She traces your scars sometimes and you two share a silent moment together.
A silent moment of understanding.
She loves picking you up and holding you!
She hugs you like you’re an actual teddy bear.
She’s the one you go to for emotional things.
She’s good at comforting you. She somehow knows what you wanna hear at all times.
Vaggie
She became a secondary mother figure to you.
She was Charlie’s girlfriend, so of course she was.
She understood your situation and was pissed heaven casted a sweetie like you because of your lowest point.
She’s the more levelheaded one.
She’s the one who gives you advice and stuff like that. While Charlie is the more emotionally supportive one, Vaggie is the more mature and steady one.
She also traces your scars. Even if you don’t like them, she tells you you’re beautiful no matter what.
When you told her more of your story, she almost cried.
A child feeling this way broke her to pieces. Especially since you were so soft.
Other than the sad stuff, she loves cuddling you.
You, her, and Charlie sometimes have cuddle sessions with you in the middle because you’re so warm + soft + squishy.
She would kill anyone for you. You’re just so adorable!
She tries to teach you to fight but gives up when you don’t want to hurt anyone.
Angel Dust
Honestly, he saw himself in you.
A lost, scared, and lonely child. You didn’t know the cruelties of the world, aside from those cruelties in your mind.
He tries his best to comfort you. He’s not the best with words, but he’s always there for you.
He calls you sugar bear! He loves you to death.
He would go to the ends of hell for you.
He treats you like he wished to be when he was the same way.
You two share a lot of similarities, so you bond well.
He nearly cried when you told him your stitches were scars from sh.
He embraces you any time he can.
He tries to be the parental figure he needed so you can have a better life, somewhere no one would judge you.
Husk
He’s stubborn, like a dad. He acts like one too.
A hardheaded, yet sweet dad.
He’s like the father you never had. Or did have. Whichever.
He’s the bartender, so he knew how to comfort.
But when you told him your story, he almost broke.
You two definitely sing some sort of song together. Maybe Angel or Vaggie joins.
He cuddles you and hides you with his wings.
If you give him baby doe eyes, he might just take you on a flight.
Husk is SUPER protective over you. He’s very similar to Vaggie in a way when it comes to protection.
He gives you good advice but he still hides behind his tough guy exterior.
He doesn’t understand why you’re down here, even if you tell him. You’re so sweet!
Either way, he adores you.
He loves patting your head and messing with your fuzzy ears.
Might even boop your nose once or twice.
Late night talks.
He probably talked you down from trying to commit again.
Niffty
Another tiny person! Yay!
You’re not a bad boy. She may be a psycho, but she would never call you bad.
Actually, she did once and felt bad once you cried.
She likes to hang out with you since you’re both tiny!
She cuddles and hugs you like you’re her stuffed animal.
Bug killers! Even if you don’t wanna kill bugs, she’s dragging you along anyways.
She tries to hide her needle from you since Husk told her what your stitches meant.
Alastor has to babysit both of you basically.
You and her do almost everything together! You’re best friends!
She sneaks into the kitchen and grabs you both snacks so you can watch a movie.
She makes you sleep in her bed sometimes so she can cuddle you.
Sir. Pentious
He’s a dad. Or, he was.
He treats you like he wishes he treated his son before he passed.
He acts like your father. An awkward father, but he still tries.
He also protects you.
Expect him to curl his tail around you and cuddle you when you’re sad.
He literally cried when you told him your story.
He tells you anytime he can that it’s not your fault. Your stitches are still beautiful.
Best girl dad ever.
Buys you anything he wants, even if he’s broke. (Except sharp things)
He teaches you some things about inventing!
You made him a little metal flower and he was so overjoyed. He took it with him everywhere.
He still remembers you, even if he’s in Heaven now.
Cherri Bomb
Chaotic auntie energy.
She would do ANYTHING for you.
She picks you up and places you on her hip like a baby.
She loves your ears! She also adores how sweet you are.
She wouldn’t admit it, but you’re the cutest thing she’s ever seen.
Even if you tell her your story, she wouldn’t see you differently. You’re a child, a child who went through so much.
Hangouts with her and Angel are a MUST.
They try to avoid doing the normal around you and focus on fun time.
She took you with her when she had a territorial fight one time and you almost cried.
She felt so bad that she bought you anything you wanted for a week.
She did anything you wanted to do, even if Husk or someone else said no to you.
Basically, if you wanted something, you went to her.
Alastor
He’s not one to like kids, really.
He was, however, kinder to you.
He did anything to protect you.
He was like your insane uncle.
He was the one who taught you how to use your abilities. Maybe to help you, or to manipulate you when you grow.
He made you jambalaya once and it became your favorite dish to share with him!
He introduced you to radio and he was happy that you loved it.
He started bringing you to his studio whenever he did a radio show.
He took you to an overlord meeting once. That’s how you met Rosie.
He pats your head like a dog lol.
Don’t expect him to be emotionally available. But he will be there to have fun sometimes.
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chigirizzz · 1 year ago
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❝𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲❞
synopsis: how your fist kiss with him is like
characters: gojo, yuji, megumi
tags: gn! reader, not proofread as always (it's 3am for crying out loud)
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— GOJO SATORU
gojo is a tease and that’s no news for you, it’s not new to anyone. this man’s actions and words either make someone respect him or desire to kill him.
yet, it surprised you how much he could tease you before and during your first kiss.
gojo fucking satoru made sure to make your life hard as hell after finding out how you, even past your mid twenties, never had a kiss. 
“never?” 
“never,” you responded by repeating the word in a cold tone of voice, arms crossed and sending him a dead glare. however, he did not felt intimidated by you—
—instead, he just burst out laughing and looked at you like you were a middle schooler still finding out about life.
that’s how your memory can recall that day. god, you hate him!
and you hate how you never got to experience such a magical moment yet!
but patience is a virtue, right? that’s what people say. and that’s what you’re thinking right now as gojo’s big hand imprisons your head movement by holding your chin firmly. his hold isn’t too strong and neither too loose—perfect to give his lips the chance to dominate yours and perfect for you to free yourself and slap him if that’s what you wish to do. 
but you don’t do that, so his lips curve into a malicious smirk, which gives an electrical shock to a certain corner of your brain—which makes your mouth let it escape a satisfying sound to his ears.
he’s enjoying this. he’s enjoying this so much and so are you.
today was like any normal day, including the newest jokes and teases from gojo satoru about how no one ever felt attracted to you enough to kiss you. although you know the white haired male never wanted to hurt you and it was just teasing, the comment he told you today really hurt you, making you sad and defending yourself to gojo (and calling him stupid).
he listened quietly to your rant. his blindfold made it difficult for you to understand how sorry he was, though.
gojo moves his hand from your chin to the back of your neck, his body language now a bit more rough—his lips more angry for yours by the way he tilts his head slightly to side, guiding you on your make out session, occasionally leaving a chuckle when you desperately try to follow his movements.
you are so cute and he feels so superior in this exact moment.
one of your hands moves by itself to grab the cloth's fabric that covers his chest when you suddenly feel his teeth on your neck. he wasn’t doing anything special yet, just mouth slightly open with his teeth ready to give you a hickey.
“satoru…”
“hm.” despite him answering your call, gojo didn’t pay attention very much; instead, he chose to snuggle into the warm skin of your neck, searching for comfort. wanting to be close with you. 
the hand that was close to his chest is now on his back, patting awkwardly but softly. “i…” you cleared your throat. you’re pretty sure he could feel your nervousness. “i hate how you make me feel.”
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— ITADORI YUJI
no words to describe how adorable he is.
this sweet boy took you on a date to the oceanarium with a full plan inside his pants’ pocket:
take a shower
after shower, use the best perfume/deodorant (not axe!!)
go to y/n’s house to take them to the oceanarium
look for the best train seat available for y/n (has to be next to the window!!)
pay for the tickets
tell y/n lots of fun facts
kiss y/n
kiss y/n… kiss you…
now that’s a hard task.
in the three months you and itadori yuji were dating, no one had any complaints. the two of you were going at their specific pace, but still able to get out of your comfort zones, just for each other.
kissing you is an example of yuji getting out of his comfort zone—that, and he just loves you very much; the boy just wants to express himself. he cringes at how he stepped away from you awkwardly when you tried to kiss him on the day he confessed to you.
“that’s so cool!” you hugged the jellyfish plushie you bought in the oceanarium gift store tighter, its scent bringing you a feeling of peace. the both of you are currently outside, sitting on a bench at a nearby park, just speaking about today and listening to yuji’s fun facts about the aquarium animals. “tell me more.”
“uh, well… just a second!,” he excuses himself before searching for a piece of paper inside his pants’ pockets… he took one out of the pocket, read it, and realized it wasn’t the one he wanted. “just…—just a second! sorry!
your boyfriend is acting strange today—you noticed, anyone can notice—, but you opted to not say anything. however, you’re starting to become extremely curious.
the wrong piece of paper is roughly and badly stuffed back into his pocket, only for the panic to torment him again when said paper falls from the pocket to the ground.
“what’s this?” you ask no one in particular when you caught the paper before your boyfriend could do it.
“shit, no! give me that!”
“calm down, yuji, i’m trying to read it.”
the boy watches in horror as you slowly read the paper—the paper with the list.
that’s it, his life is over. he feels the pain of the embarrassment crushing him, getting more painful each millisecond. he can imagine how you’re gonna make fun of him, destroying his heart—
“you could’ve just told me, itadori,” your voice soothes his thoughts as you stare at him lovingly. “i would never judge you or anything.”
“after how i denied your kiss the day i confessed to you? me? denying your kiss? on the day i confessed? i’m a moron—”
the palms of your hands hold his cheeks gently. “you’re not a moron, my love—well, you are, but not in this context.”
all yuji got to say was an offended ‘hey!’ before you pulled him towards you, making him able to cross ‘kiss y/n’ out of his silly and now crumpled list.
even if there isn’t much experience between you both, you manage to work it out. it’s a simple but long-lasting kiss—at least that’s what you assume when you start to feel the need to breathe some new fresh air. but you don’t want to worry about oxygen, not when the feeling of his lips in touch with yours makes the blood vessels on your face dilate, making your blood warmer, making your heart beat faster.
you let go of him and breathe heavily, however, you do not get a proper pause because yuji starts kissing all over your face, while tickling your body too. the both of you turn into a mess of laughter and tiny kisses, completely enjoying the moment.
and perhaps you get the privilege to live something that resembles a cinematic masterpiece, as you both stop laughing and rest your foreheads against each other.
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— MEGUMI FUSHIGURO
the scenario is really simple: one minute you’re sitting side by side on the sofa while watching a terrible coming of age movie, pizza slice on your hand, all your worries forgotten thanks to the comfy blanket covering your laps, and the next minute you and the dark haired male are sitting in front of each other on the sofa, faces really close trying to mimic the stupid kissing scene at the end of the stupid movie.
“her hand was like this.”
“shut up, why do you want to make things so difficult.”
this was your idea, of course, a perfect excuse to kiss him. in months of dating, you never had the first kiss as a couple and you decided to tease him into doing it, saying how you wished to be kissed like in the ending scene of the movie and complaining how megumi could never do like the male protagonist did.
he knew you were just teasing him, but he felt the need to show you the opposite anyway.
first you were trying to position your heads and hands like the actors and sharing short kisses, until he got tired of the challenge and just pulled you for a kiss without you expecting it.
it was definitely way better than the one from the movie. it was rough at first but eventually it got softer and more romantic. he paid attention to your body language, to how you reacted to the kiss, and when his lips let go of yours so you both could breathe, he stared at you so lovingly you almost felt like melting, especially when his hand made contact with your cheek to caress it.
minutes passed and you were now cuddling each other, you laying on top of him and listening to his heartbeat and him giving you a small back massage, making sure that you felt loved (and that you didn’t say anything stupid again).
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candyk0rn · 1 year ago
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Comforting your tears-BG3
If they found you crying
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Ugh I know my old friends are sick of this prompt because I’ve probably done it one hundred times..but can you blame me??
Before reading: gn reader, Angst (if you squint) with comfort, Astarion x reader, Gale x reader, Halsin x reader (separate)
Astarion:
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Astarion has shed his fair share of tears in his prolonged life
Not recently, of course (Unless this takes place after a certain quest line…)
And he’s used to seeing others cry, wether they be his conquests when they realize his actual intentions,
Wether he sees a lost child in the night sobbing for his mother,
Wether it be a sad woman mourning a loss in the darkened graveyard
But he’s never seen you cry, and he’s never craved that sight either
He’s not sure why you were crying, and he doesn’t take time to ask you that
Because if he’s being honest, he doesn’t know what to do
He has never once had to comfort another’s tears, and if he ever has, there was always an ulterior motive
But here you were, trying to suck back floods of tears before him
And all he could do was stand still, a small furrow in his brow
In all honesty, he waits for you to do something first
To reach for him, to say his name, anything
Even just telling him to go away would be enough, because it would give him the slightest bit of direction
If you shove him away, without hesitation he shall flee
But if you move the slightest bit, he rushes to your side
His hand twitch as they hold you, not knowing if this is truly what you need to feel better
But perhaps, these hands which have killed many,
Can also comfort.
Gale:
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Similar to Astarion, he’s not quite sure what the best remedy for a broken heart is
But he is a lot less clueless
When he sees you, he wishes so badly to take all of your pain and inflict it onto himself
He’d rather die than see you like this again
He thinks back to his youth, how his mother would confer him when he would cry or become upset
He also thinks ‘How would I want to be comforted?” Only to be bombarded with thoughts of Tara purring sleepily in his lap
So that wasn’t gonna work
He silently takes you in his arms, rubbing loving circles into your back
He kisses your temple, whispering ‘What’s wrong?’ Into your ear
If you shake your head or don’t respond, he’s not going to push you for any more information
If you begin to tell him, he listens diligently, not interrupting you
He rocks you back and forth, hoping he’s helping you in some way
My bro is trying his best 💪
Halsin:
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Halsin is easier than the other two because omg he’d be the best at comforting you
Like Gale, he would just scoop you up in his arms and shower you with affection
He’s also a very smooth talker
You need him to distract you? He already has a story to tell you
You need him to whisper loving nothings into your ear? He’s gonna make it his life goal to make your cheeks grow red
He takes your hand in his, placing it atop of his chest, allowing you to feel the soft rise and fall of his breathing
This is something he does often, waiting for you to follow suit
Times like these are precious to him, because it shows him that you feel able to be vulnerable around him
In his eyes, vulnerability is so beautiful, even if it leaves your face tear stained and red
He presses his lips to your temple, lingering for a long moment
He wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while
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Thanks for reading!!
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lavenderchqn · 3 days ago
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synopsis — 4NEMO idol dating scenarios pairing — idol!aether, venti, xiao, heizou, kazuha and wanderer x gn!reader warnings — reader is also an idol in heizou's and wandy's; venti is feeling melancholic (me2, dw king); xiao is in the trenches, a very minor panic attack in heizou's, just regular sad stuff happening in the setting of wanderer's and genuine chaos wanderer but what's new with him; heads up for kpop related language, that's all I think? notes — I have officially called the 4nemo fandom wispies as an homage to the venti wisp, we have to deal with my mistake now.
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The time for your weekly live was nigh. For the past few months, you had taken it upon yourself to spend a few hours streaming some work on Friday. Although it was abysmal to even think about working on a Friday afternoon. Having it be a stream made you more motivated to work. 
Ever since becoming a manager of 4NEMO, you had to grab onto anything to not procrastinate. The role expansion from a producer to a producer-manager hadn’t been treating you kindly. Not to mention it had been a sudden decision, due to their previous manager leaving suddenly after the death of a close friend. You couldn’t have left the boys on their own.
“Good afternoon, Chat.” You opened your stream the same, just like always. Your camera was turned on, showing your business casual self to hundreds of fans. Another perk of forcing yourself to work under the watchful eye of Whispies — the lovely fandom that was here to support the boys. 
“What are we doing today, [Y/N]?” You read the chat message out loud that’s been swimming in the sea of hellos and wishes for productive work. “Just regular stuff, I have some emails to answer. Everything I don’t want to come to on Monday… I guess”
After the initial stream preparations and deciding on the theme of Lofi music accompanying you for the journey, you made sure to remember to put your camera on full screen. If there was one thing you didn’t want to happen, that’d be catching a lawsuit for sharing sensitive information. 
“Gonna work now.” You turned to the camera, putting a fist slightly in the air. “Fighting, everyone.”
With that, you were off — your timer running down from an hour. Very quickly after your first stream, with the decision made alongside your fans, you had all settled on a Pomodoro method. You would work for an hour, taking care of everything possible and having a short break. It would most often turn into a quick Q&A section. 
Looking back, becoming friends with the fans had only done you wonders. By being established very quickly into the career of 4NEMO, they had nothing but support for the time your relationship with Aether has been announced. Oh, that had been a rollercoaster of a day. And let’s be real, the stream of that week’s Friday had been the most viewed one on your channel. 
An email here, an email there… You were absolutely swarmed with emails. Just what on earth was Venti doing to need so many emails answered.
You put your head in your hands, sighing. “I am going to kill you on Monday, you dick.” Whispering to yourself, trying to give away as little as possible. For the sake of the fans, you just couldn’t threaten to murder one of their beloved idols. Especially not Wanderer’s or Xiao’s… If that were the case, you probably wouldn’t even make it to Monday. 
Having decided to calm yourself down with a sip of water, you notice the timer of your phone going down to zero. What a lovely timing, you thought.
“Alright, everyone.” You turn to the camera, your phone in hand. “An hour has passed, it’s break time.” 
The excitement in the messages is apparent. Some fans show up to the stream just for the questions-and-answer segment. At the very least, it’s what the statistics say. You don’t blame them whenever that happens. If you were in their position, you’d probably share the enthusiasm for the possibility of learning more about your favourite music artists from a reliable source. 
“What question do you want to start with?” You ask eyes on the chat box. The first question had always been the one to set the tone for the rest of the section. 
The Chat in question goes into chaos with far too many questions at once. Some of them instantly get deleted by moderators for not abiding by the rules… some of them are unhinged, to say the least. Why of all things they’d want to know the foot size of Kuni’s— Wanderer’s. You had promised to call him by his stage name, you should do that even when thinking.
In an instant, one of the questions pops out to you. “Can you sing your favourite Chimes’ song for us?” You read it out loud. It was the first week that this would’ve made sense. Last week the newest album of 4NEMO came out, featuring solo member songs for the first time. 
You put on a thinking face, fully aware it’s just for show. Ever since starting the work on said album, almost a year ago… It was given which of the songs would be your favourite. 
“I’m no singer, but I could try…” You answer, fully prepared to start singing ‘The Road Not Taken’ by your lovely partner. There’s so much encouragement from the fans, that it’d be a shame not to try. “Don’t laugh at me once you hear it though! It was your idea, guys!” 
Taking a deep breath, you prepare yourself. You imagine the intro part with its beautiful guitars and piano notes. You even mimic playing the guitar.
“Traveling in the nights you've left me in…” Surprisingly, your voice is magnificent for this. You’re surprised at yourself for how good you sound. “I feel you in the last blow of wind…” 
“Even nowhere I can find you out,” You start swaying, imagining your partner singing the song next to you. “The answer is not far off now…” 
You’re so into the song in your head, that you don’t even realise the door to your room has been opened. Don’t notice your lovely partner coming into the frame, shushing the screaming chat. He’s about to make you aware of his existence.
“This journey of ours has been bittersweet…” You stumble back to reality when you realise the voice you’re hearing isn’t yours. Looking around, you finally notice Aether standing right next to you. You roll away from him, surprised to the core. 
“Oh my gosh, you scared me!” You shout, hands at your chest. “What are you doing here?” 
“The voice of an angel summoned me, of course.” He winks at you, still in the frame. “How are you, my Love?” 
“Fucking floored, mate.” You slump down into your chair, embarrassed at the situation. “I didn’t even know you were home.” 
“I just got back… I’m so fucking sore.” He sighs, stealing one of the other chairs in your office and taking a seat. “Remind me to kick Ven in the balls for such a rigorous practice session on Monday…” 
“We’re live, Aether!” Not only was he threatening one of his group mates on a live… he was also destroying his established angelic persona. 
Let’s just say… Venti was not happy on Monday, with either of you.
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It’s close to 1 AM right now. The final concert of their latest tour came to an end around an hour ago. It happened right here, in Mondstadt… his home. The group's biggest tour, one that allowed them to travel all across Teyvat. Looking back, as the leader… and the initiator of the group, Venti should be ecstatic. It’s an enormous achievement no matter how you look at it. He got to perform with some of the closest people in his life and travel the world ending it with a chance to sing right in his place. 
… And yet, at the same time… he’s feeling a little empty. For the longest time, this was their major goal. Now that it has been achieved, what’s more for 4NEMO to work towards to. That’s all that’s on Venti’s mind during their ride to their apartment complex. He’s silent for the entire duration — something that isn’t unacknowledged by the other members. 
“Venti, what’s on your mind?” Kazuha asks, his voice sleepy. “You’ve been silent ever since the concert ended. Surely the resident yapper would have something to add?” 
“I’m doing absolutely fantastic, Kazu!” Venti forces himself to be energetic. If he could, he’d just turn around and go nap… following in the footsteps of Aether and Heizou, who are asleep in their seats. “Just… taking the entire day in.” 
“I see.” Kazuha smiles, turning around and settling into his seat. “Make sure to take care of yourself, whatever is on your mind.” 
Xiao and Wanderer don’t engage in the conversation, most likely too tired to participate. At the very least they don’t comment on Venti’s unusual behaviour further. As much as he appreciates them not prodding into his thoughts… he wishes they would. Just this once. Just so that he doesn't have to be surrounded by all those voices. It’s just… difficult to come up with anything. It’s very loud inside his head. Far too loud. 
Venti gazes out of the car window, watching Mondstadt’s familiar streets blur past as they head back to their apartment complex. The city is quiet at this hour, bathed in the soft glow of streetlights, and yet it feels strangely distant to him. He should feel at home here, in the place that had shaped so much of his identity as both an artist and a person, but tonight... it’s just like any other city, just one of the many they’d visited on the tour.
It doesn’t get better even when the car stops at the entrance to the apartment complex. With the help of Xiao and Wanderer, they all manage to lead their sleepy companions to their flats. Oh, one of the perks of being well-established -  being able to sleep in a place that you don’t have to share with anyone. 
Now that he’s left all alone, prompted to head on to have his deserved rest by the two other awake members, he finally feels the exhaustion enter his body. Had it been any other day, Venti would most likely have taken a bath and had a glass of dandelion wine… Not tonight though. 
As soon as he opens the door to his apartment, he gets reminded of your presence in it. Your shoes are right next to his slippers… Multiple of his oversized jackets that have gotten borrowed for eternity by you… He’s home. Actually home… and not in an all-inclusive hotel. 
It’s for the better. Venti thinks there would be no way for him to fall asleep after a night like this in a stuffy hotel. Truth be told, he’s unsure if he will manage it tonight at all. He feels the immense need to distract his thoughts somehow, anyhow. 
That’s how he ends up on the balcony, his phone in hand. He’s starting a live at almost 3 AM in the morning… He prays that Xiao and Wanderer have joined the other three in going to sleep. Venti would rather not have to deal with their teasing the next time they meet.
In no time a bunch of Wispies are joining, concerned messages pouring into the chat. 
“It’s going to be a short one, don’t you worry lovelies…” He says, his voice hushed. Despite coming so late at night he’s unsure if you’ve fallen asleep yet. Venti predicts you must be out, given the lack of attention he’s been given. 
“To all of you who were at tonight’s concert…” He starts, eyes looking out into the distance.” I hope you got back safely. Safety is a priority, after all.” 
Thanks to a sudden force of wind, Venti’s hair flutters around his face as he continues to speak, his voice soft and calm despite the rush of thoughts in his head. He wasn’t sure why he decided to go live, maybe it was the strange emptiness that had settled in after the concert — something he couldn't explain to his bandmates but perhaps could share with his fans. They’d been with him from the start, after all.
“To everyone who came tonight... thank you,” Venti continues, his fingers absentmindedly fidgeting with the ends of his braids. “You guys made this tour special. Ending it in Mondstadt, my home... it was like coming full circle. But... now that it’s over, it feels strange, y’know?”
The chat instantly floods with responses — some fans expressing their love for the group and their music, others showing concern for his wellbeing. Venti smiled faintly at the screen, feeling the warmth from their concern, but he wasn’t ready to dive into his deeper thoughts just yet. Not here, not now.
He sighed and leaned against the balcony railing, the cool night air helping to clear his head. The lights of Mondstadt twinkled in the distance, casting a soft glow over the quiet streets. It was peaceful, and yet, inside him, there was still this gnawing feeling of incompletion.
“I guess it’s funny,” he chuckled softly, “we’ve been working toward this tour for so long... and now that it’s done, I can’t but feel a little lost. Like, what’s next? What should we work toward now?” He paused, letting the words sink in as he read through the chat. Some Wispies echoed his sentiment, sharing their own experiences of feeling aimless after reaching a big goal. Others reassured him that whatever came next, they’d be there for him and the group, regardless of the route they took. 
Venti took a deep breath. “I don’t know what the future holds for 4NEMO, but I do know this... I’m grateful. For all of it. The music, the journey, and most importantly, for all of you.”
He is about to sign off when a soft sound behind him makes him freeze. The unmistakable creak of a door opening. His heart skips a beat as he glances over his shoulder, expecting to see an empty doorway — only to find you standing there, rubbing your eyes sleepily covered by a blanket. You must’ve been woken by his quiet monologue.
“Venven… why are you out on the balcony at this hour?” You ask, your voice thick with sleep. Venti doesn’t realise it at the time, but it is the introduction… of his lover to 4NEMO fans. He must think quick, not wanting to share more than necessary. 
He waves at the camera, giving a hurried smile to his fans. “Alright, Wispies, gotta go. Need to take care of something!” He ends the live, putting his phone down before turning around to you.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you, my muse…” Venti says softly, running a hand through his hand. “Couldn’t sleep…” 
You step closer, the cool night breeze causing you to try to partially cover him with your blanket. “I could tell. You’ve got that look again… like you’re thinking too much.”
Venti chuckles lightly, still lacking his usual energy. “Yeah, maybe I am.” His eyes meet yours, the usual playful demeanour replaced with something more vulnerable. “The tour’s over... and I thought I’d feel more... complete. But instead, I just feel... empty.”
You join him to lean against the railing as well, your presence grounding him in a way he hasn’t realise he needed. “Maybe that’s normal,” You say after a moment to think. “You’ve been pushing yourself for so long. Maybe now that you’ve reached that goal, it’s okay to feel... off. You don’t always have to know what comes next. The guys are going to help you with that, for sure.”
Venti lets your words sink in, his shoulders relaxing a bit. It’s comforting… getting to hear it was okay to not have all the answers. Since the beginning, he had been the one everyone relied on to keep things moving forward. But maybe, just maybe, it was alright to take a step back and figure things out at his own pace. With or without their support. 
“Thanks,” He murmurs. “I guess I needed to hear that.”
You smile softly, nudging him with your shoulder. “You’re allowed to take a break, you know. The world can wait for a while.”
Venti chuckles again, this time with more sincerity. “Yeah... I guess you’re right.” He takes a look back out at Mondstadt, the weight on his chest lifting ever so slightly. The future can wait. For now, he has this moment, and that was enough.
As you stand together on the balcony, the city quiet and still, Venti finally feels the tension ease out of him. He doesn’t have all the answers, and maybe that is okay. For tonight, being here, with you, is all he needs.
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Whatever was happening today, was nothing short of chaos. Venti — the resident night owl — has been stuck in calls management for the past few hours, and questioned about the mess happening on social media. Xiao was at the epicentre of it, and they all needed the guy to realise whatever was going on. 
Every awake member has done their utmost to try and get ahold of Xiao, without any success. Their last resort would be to visit his apartment… for quite the surprise. 
By the time Xiao wakes up the 4NEMO group chat is in shambles. The poor idols have been trying to summon him for the past hours, their texts and calls going unanswered. He’s unsure what to do first when he sees all the notifications on his phone. 
Once another call screen shows up, he finally answers. It’s Venti, obviously. Perhaps the group leader will enlighten him on what has transpired for the members to be unrestful. 
“—Hello?” Xiao says, unsure.
“Oh my archon, fucking finally!” Venti’s shout makes the man recoil from the phone in an instant. “Have you seen the fucking video yet?” 
“For fuck’s sake, lower your voice down… What’s up?” Xiao answers, looking at the asleep person in his bed. You’ve decided to stay the night after the date you had yesterday. He takes a second to think about what video Venti is even talking about. 
As far as he’s concerned, it has to be the ‘making of’ their latest comeback… It’s been almost three weeks, meaning it was high time for it to be released.
“What happened?” Xiao asks once more, unnerved at Venti’s silence. Shit must’ve seriously hit the fan if Venti was giving him the silence treatment. He takes a second to think about what could’ve happened in the making of video of all things. He remembers you were there working as a movie producer… Was he in trouble due to something you’d done? 
“Just…” Venti’s voice is numb, overwhelmed by the situation at hand. “Check twitter, would you.” He commands before hanging up. 
Xiao blinks at his phone, the call abruptly ending with Venti’s cryptic demand. The sudden tension in his voice felt completely out of place, especially after such a peaceful night. He glances over at you, still fast asleep beside him, your face serene in the morning light filtering through the window. Whatever this was, it could wait... but clearly not for long.
He opened Twitter to a mess of being the star of trending tags. Not only him… You were also there, dubbed as ‘Xiao[Y/N]’. That was most certainly bad. The fans were not supposed to know about your relationship. What the fuck was going on? 
Xiao hesitates a little before clicking to see what the deal is about. Maybe he's still dreaming. He wishes that was the case. His fingers hover over the trending tag. His heart is pounding in his chest, as anxiety creeps up his spine. He takes a deep breath before finally clicking on it. As the page loads, he’s met with an abundance of videos, comments, and screenshots. At first glance, it feels like utter chaos — the group’s fans are divided into theorising about your relationship, defending and attacking almost equally. 
After a lot of scrolling, he finally sees it — one video with a particularly high number of notes. As soon as he clicks to see it, it all starts making sense. It’s the one scene Xiao had asked the editors to leave out the video… still in their newest release. 
After multiple takes, the producers had announced that they finally got the shot. 
“What do you think?” Xiao asked, coming up to you, swiping the sweat from his forehead. Solo scenes always made him nervous. Especially those where he was supposed to look attractive… and borderline sultry. If he had to pick a singular thing that absolutely enraged him, it was the constant need to pander to their fans. 
“Very hot,” You answered, taking a look at him. You know you had gotten extremely lucky by getting into a relationship with such an attractive guy like Xiao… There were so many fans wishing they were in your spot, writing fanfiction just to get a crumb of what you had a daily intake of. “You gotta wear your hair pushed back more often.” 
Your comment intrigued Xiao. Perhaps getting to work with an idol group for the first time, not to mention one your partner was in, was bringing out your weird thoughts. “Oh really?” He could engage in a little bit of teasing, why not. His eyes didn’t leave yours as he combed his hand through his hair. 
From the faint hotness that crept onto your cheeks, he knew of the effect he had on you. Unfortunately for him, you were not the only one observing his motions. 
“Get a fucking room, you lovebirds!” Heizou shouted from the other end of the shooting venue. This had gathered the attention of the remaining 4NEMO members, who out of nowhere became extremely interested in Xiao’s solo scenes… And with them, the camera followed in your direction.
It’s all there… in it’s full glory. “Fuck,” Xiao curses under his breath. He feels a sudden rush of cold, realising exactly why Venti sounded so panicked. This wasn’t just a minor breach of privacy — it was a full exposure of a relationship everyone involved with 4NEMO had been desperately trying to keep hidden. 
The shitstorm he’s in the middle of proving exactly why he never spoke about you. The comments were relentless, ranging from supportive to accusatory. Some were feeling betrayed, others were speculating about every detail of your relationship. There were calls for a boycott, with a cluster of fans defending Xiao and his right to a private life. 
He shuts his phone off, gripping his hair in frustration. This isn’t just bad for him— for heaven’s sake, you still didn’t know about anything. Would you even have a job anymore? For fucks’ sake, you had been so excited about working with 4NEMO and idols in general… and due to this fucking error your career could easily be over before it even took off. 
Whatever this mess is, it needed desperate damage control. And for the sake for the sake of keeping your relationship healthy, he had to make you aware of what had happened.
Xiao shakes you awake, guilt all over his face. You look so comfy tucked under the blankets, akin to a kitten. No matter how much he’d prefer to leave you be and deal with the mess himself. There was absolutely a call to be made to whoever edited this episode. 
“Five more mins…” You turn to the other side, getting away from Xiao’s hand. 
“We don’t have five minutes,” Xiao sighs, taking away your blankets. “We’re in a lot of trouble, babe.” 
The singular mention of you being in trouble wakes you up more efficiently than any espresso. 
You sit up immediately, rubbing your eyes as you register Xiao’s serious tone. The warmth of the blankets is quickly replaced by a knot of anxiety forming in your stomach. "What do you mean we're in trouble?" you ask, your voice laced with confusion.
Xiao hesitates for a moment, his lips pressed into a thin line. "The making-of video... It’s out. And... there’s a scene in there. Us.”
It takes a second for his words to fully sink in. Your heart skips a beat as you process the weight of his words. “Wait, what? Us?” You ask, blinking rapidly confused. 
“Yeah, that solo scene thing. The one where we… where I came over to talk to you. They didn’t cut it like I asked.” He looks at you with a mixture of guilt and concern. “Everyone knows now.” 
You lay back down, deflated. No matter how much you tried to damage control — cutting out the scene, pulling the video down… it wouldn’t do anything. Whatever entered the domain of the internet would stay there for eternity. “What do you suggest, Xiao?” 
“I need to call management, that's for fucking sure.” 
Humming, you accept his thought. Getting the input of a third party would be for the best. The company must have a PR specialist ready to help with the damage control. “I thought you’d break up with me instantly if that ever were to happen.” 
Xiao, who by this point got out of bed stops himself before leaving the room. The look he gives you says everything — ‘the fucking audacity you have’. He’s appalled at your train of thought.
“Have you lost your mind?.” He says, voice laced with coldness. “We’re in this together, for better or worse.” 
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Maintaining a relationship with an idol under sworn secrecy was difficult, but do you know what was even harder? Being an idol yourself and having to keep it to yourself. 
You and Heizou had made the decision to keep your relationship private. After days of discussing and gathering input from your agency teams, you both reached the same conclusion: it was far easier to be cautious in public than to navigate the complexities of parasocial fans.
Every outing became a carefully calculated operation — hoodies on, masks and glasses adoring your faces. Not the simplest touch was shared between the two of you in public. Every precaution you could taken, you took. Any hugs, kisses and whatever Heizou felt like showering you with had to be done behind closed doors. If there had been one advantage of being signed to different idol agencies, it would’ve been the lack of ‘company-wide’ appearances. Honestly, if you two were ever seen together in public like that… well, social media would simply go up in flames.
Yet, there was one unavoidable event where idol groups from all over Teyvat would gather — the end-of-year awards. A nightmare for anyone trying to keep their relationship under wraps. Not only was the venue packed with fans, but it was also swarming with cameras. Every reaction shot of idols was broadcasted globally, often becoming memes, destined to live on as reaction images for ages.
This year’s award ceremony was most certainly one to go down in history. 
You knew 4NEMO would be one of the groups performing this year — Heizou had given you a heads-up. You’d heard him hum through the setlist they’d prepared, and you’d even had a sneak peek at the prototype outfits they’d be wearing. But what he conveniently left out was who would be taking on the solo dance during the final instrumental section.
Now, seated at the table, surrounded by your fellow members and other industry icons, you suddenly understood why he’d kept that part a secret.
As the lights dimmed and refocused on a single point, your heart skipped a beat. A spotlight circled to the stage, and there he was — draped in burgundy, his signature colour, eyes fierce and focused. Every subtle hint, every melody he hummed recently, all led to this moment. And yet, seeing him under the spotlight, dressed to the nines and poised to take on the solo, was breathtaking in a way that not a single writer could capture with their words. 
The music swelled, and Heizou moved with flawless precision. Each and every beat punctuated by sharp turns and graceful slides. It was simply impossible to take your eyes off of him. 
In your subconscious, you could feel people staring at you, and yet there was not a single thing that could force you to look away. It felt as if Heizou was dancing right in front of you, for you. The distance from the tables you were sitting at to the stage where he was did not exist at that moment. 
You could notice every glint in his eye, every smirk creeping on his face. He was not dancing for the audience. They simply had the privilege of being in the same space as the two of you. Holy fuck, your boyfriend was so fucking hot. Of course, he was attractive each and every day. Today he simply decided to crank it up to an eleven. 
Whatever that Casanova was doing, he was doing it damn right. He was simply in each and every single one thought of your head and— oh my god. Did his hair tie just slip out?! Dearest fucking archons, the last thing you needed was witnessing his ruby locks swaying to the rhythm. 
Wait, wait, wait. Dance breaks never lasted this long. What was going on? Did you get teleported to a different dimension, where time slowed just for you? Simply to allow you to watch your partner in his element? Surely not? Fuck, Heizou needed to really fucking stop. With each and every beat, you felt melting in your seat a little more. 
With a strong push, your little trance was over. Your leader, and frankly your best friend has been trying to shake you back to reality for the last few minutes.
“Heavens, [Y/N].” They whispered, finally getting your attention away from your partner. “We most certainly do not need a dating scandal tonight.” Your confused look must’ve alerted your fellow members of how out of it you are. Truly, to you, the past thirty seconds felt like hours. 
“You’ve been watching your loverboy so hard, you didn’t even notice that your reaction was out for everyone to see.” 
“Pretty sure it’s all over the net already.” 
“Man, I even took a picture. Wanna see?”
You cover your face with your hands, the seriousness of the situation slowly creeping in. Of course, they showed you. Not anyone else, but you. Do you even want to know how you looked? You feel all warm from the sheer nervousness enveloping your entire body. 
“Our silly [Y/N],” Your leader resumes throwing whispers your way. “I don’t think, I’ve ever seen a person look at someone else with so much love in their eyes.”
“Your boyfie for sure enchanted you tonight. Make sure you reward him well later tonight.” 
Oh right, you still had to deal with Heizou’s reaction on top of everything. 
You have been pacing around your flat ever since getting home. You refuse to check either your phone or social media in general. Living with a lack of knowledge sounds like such bliss. You most certainly do not need to be given a reality check. Every time your brain stops for a little, your thoughts circle back to the performance Heizou gave earlier today. 
“How annoying…” You whisper to yourself, slapping your cheeks gently. You really need something to take over your mind for a short while.
“Oh? What’s annoying you, dearest?” Heizou asks, his arms sneaking around your figure to give you a back hug. He separates the second he feels panic creep into your body. “Shh— It’s just me, don’t you worry.” 
With a few deep breaths, led by your partner holding your hand and caressing it gently to further ground you, your heart rate finally returns to normal.
“Hi,” You stammer, finally taking a look at him.
“Hi,” Heizou answers back, his olive eyes looking with relief. “You okay now?” 
“Yeah, sorry for worrying you for a sec there.” You sigh. “I’ve been out of it ever since the awards…” Your mind takes a double-back the second the words leave your mouth. Oh, you made a blunder. 
“Did I dance too good for your liking, dear?” Heizou asks a smile not leaving his face as he tilts his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this enchanted at something!” 
You’re completely still, taking his words in. Did— did he see your face while performing or… Oh heavens, did he get that from social media?
“The fans have dubbed your reaction ‘the only correct one’.” 
You let out a groan, the unwanted reality settling in even more. The only correct reaction — as if you hadn’t already put yourself on display enough tonight. All you can do is bury your face in your hands again. 
“Oh my god,” You mutter, voice muffled a little. “I knew I was watching a little too closely… I didn’t think they’d actually put it on a screen for everyone to notice.” 
“Oh, trust me, love. There was no reality where that wouldn’t get shown.” Heizou chuckles, taking your hands gently and moving them aside to get a good look at your face. “Your expression was… let’s just keep it short. It was quite legendary. Almost had Xiao break his emo persona when we saw the fans’ posts on the drive back…” 
You try and muster up a comeback, but nothing seems to come out. Instead, you just shake your head, feeling warmth blooming in your cheeks once more. “Look, I can’t help that I— “
“That you what?” Heizou prompts, leaning in dangerously close with a mischievous smirk, your hand still in his… His eyes fixed on yours. 
“That I got… carried away.” You pause, exhaling with your entire body. “I mean, how could I not?! You were amazing, babe. I felt as if you were dancing just for me…” 
Heizou’s smirks softens, as he nods slightly. “Perhaps I was,” he says, voice dropping to gentle murmur. “Perhaps I put everything into that dance… just because I knew you were watching.” 
You manage to wiggle your hand out from his grasp. As it slowly rises up his body right to his face, you take his words in. Dancing with so much passion just because you were there huh? You pinch his cheek gently. “Next time, dance like that for me in private.” 
“Oh?” His demeanour matches the one he had a few hours ago, the one which allured you so much. “How about you take me out to dinner first, then?”
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It was no secret to the 4NEMO fanbase what your relationship with Kazuha was. You had been clearly dubbed his soulmate ever since you were introduced during one of his vlogs. Despite the initial confusion, they had no choice but to accept your position. Besides, you were an absolute sweetheart. 
Sooner than later, you — a complete outsider to the world of idols — had garnered your own fanbase. Having been dubbed the 7th member of the group, protecting the boys from the ‘6 member curse’ you had become one of the most recurring side characters of 4NEMO daily content. 
Despite being loved by many, some things never changed. Errands being one of them. At the end of the year, they just piled up like crazy, the atrocious weather discouraging you from ever leaving your house to do them in the first place. 
“Come on, Dove…” Kazuha sighed, peeling the blankets from your body. He had promised to accompany you on your mission and preferred to be back in time for his afternoon nap. “We ought to get leave soon.” 
He was met with unintelligible muffled words, most likely telling him to scram off. You, his absolute sweetheart of a partner telling him to fuck off? Quite the blasphemy. Kazuha just couldn’t leave the situation like this. Well… it was time to use brutal strength, wasn’t it? 
In one singular swift motion, he scooped you up, blankets and all. If you didn’t leave the bed on your own, he’d simply take the bed with you. “You know I won’t be able to join you unless we do it today.” Kazuha was right — starting next week the group would begin their winter tour… Leaving you completely to your own devices. You would most certainly procrastinate it then too… 
“I know…” You said, voice laced with sadness. “Am too comfy, thoughhh…” 
If there was one way for Kazuha to take said comfiness away… Simply, It would be putting his muscles to good use. Here was to hoping he didn’t strain any of them. He’d rather not face the wrath of Venti and the group’s management. As he predicted, as soon as he started to spin in place — you still secured in his arms, you started shouting for him to let you go. Your lovely feeling of comfortableness and warmth was long gone… 
“Pleasure to be working with you, Dove.” He lowered you onto the ground, allowing you to take a breather. Anything to make the world not spin. “Get ready, I’ll start working on breakfast.” 
Just as you predicted, doing your errands in the company of your partner boosted your productivity. You managed to get a lot done… with your yearly health checkup as a cherry on top. As a treat and a reward for actually doing your errands, Kazuha was taking you to your favourite cafe as a prize. 
Located in a hidden alleyway, it never had too many customers. The only ones who knew about its existence were coffee connoisseurs or 4NEMO fans, who learned about it from your daily instagram stories.  
As you and Kazuha stepped into the cosy, dimly lit café, the warmth immediately contrasted with the biting cold outside. The soft hum of lo-fi music played in the background as the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee mixed with maple syrup enveloped the space. It was exactly the little haven you needed after a long day of errands, and Kazuha smiled as he saw the familiar look of contentment on your face.
"You always relax the moment we walk in here," He remarked whispering, brushing a strand of hair away from your face.
"How could I not? This place feels like a big hug," you reply, finding your favourite corner by the window. The barista, a young-looking girl came over to ask for your drinks of choice.  She must’ve been a new hire since neither of you had ever seen her before. She was quickly shushed by her coworker, who decided to take over your order. 
“The usual?” She asked, a smile on her face. 
“Absolutely.” You answered, turning to Kazuha. “What about you, love?” You pointed to the maple latte, something that would fit his tastes to a T. “That sounds like something you’d enjoy.” 
Kazuha shook his head, mentioning to the barista to make his usual order. “Just because my song is titled ‘Maple Leaf Samurai’ doesn’t mean I’m obsessed with maple flavour, silly.” He flicked your head lightly. 
In no time your drinks are delivered by the younger barista. She takes a few good looks at both of you, as well as the drinks that now are on the table. “I hope you enjoy!” She smiles, before heading to go back… 
“Oh, um.” You turn around, sort of curious about the girl. “Did you start working here recently?” You ask, getting her attention. “You don’t have to answer, but I’m simply curious. We’re regulars.” 
She comes closer, moving a chair for her to sit on. “I am! I’ve learned of this place thanks to an idol group I listen to… You know, 4NEMO?” Oh. Did you perhaps open a can of worms? While it was nothing out of the ordinary for the fans to visit this place due to a recommendation you had given, getting a job was quite next level. Regardless if it was you or any other idols good on the girl. Getting a job at a young was so difficult in this part of Teyvat.
“The coffee is really lovely here…” You answer, taking a sip. “The people that recommended you this place must know what they’re saying.” Kazuha is keeping his eyes on you, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention to himself. Meeting fans was nothing out of the ordinary for him, however, it had always been under the careful gaze of managers and security… 
“The girl, [Y/N], is absolutely my fave. Such a blessed soul, she is…” At this point the barista is just daydreaming, swaying left and right on her chair. Her words put you into a completely still state. You know that there were fans of you in particular, but to have you as their favourite member? 
By this point, Kazuha can no longer hide his laugh. He’s snickering in his seat, as delicately and elegant as possible… but he sure is not discreet. 
“You’re a fan of [Y/N] too?” He chuckles, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. The barista's eyes widen, as she tilts her head in confusion. 
“Wait, you know of them too?!” She covers her mouth in shock, eyes going from Kazuha to you in a swift motion. “Are you fans of the group?” 
You gave her a sheepish smile, scratching the back of your head. “Yeah… I guess you could tell we know of [Y/N] pretty well.” 
Your partner takes your hand to play with your fingers. His eyes, however, don’t leave the barista. “Well, pretty easy to know of an individual when you’re dating them, no?” He asks, a smile reaching his ears. 
The barista blinks rapidly, before jumping out of her chair. The atrocious creak of the chair moving makes her turn instantly to the counter. She’s apologising to her coworkers and other guests, before turning back. “Oh, my Archons.” She also bowed before the two of you. “— I didn’t realise, I’m so sorry! I should’ve recognised you sooner—“ 
You also stand up, wanting to help her calm down. “It’s not an issue, don’t worry…” Behind the girl’s back, you mouth an apology to your regular barista, nervous for causing such a commotion. You take a deep breath, noticing the young girl is settling down. 
“Sorry… regardless—“ 
“There’s absolutely no need.” Kazuha also stands up, fully in his idol mode. “It’s absolutely fine. It’s quite a refreshing experience, in all honestly.” His smile is filled with so much purity. Oh, your darling angel. 
The sudden meeting ends with a proposition to take a picture. It’s done under the promise of not sharing it on social media. The barista asks specifically for a picture with just you and her — her ult bias. Oh, that is the price for being an unfortunate not real member of a group.
“Mr. Kazuha,” The girl starts. “Be sure to treat your lovely [Y/N] well. There are so many fans ready to fight you for her love and affection.” 
Kazuha chuckles in response. With being one of the more active members, he’s quite aware of the situation at hand. In reality… pretty much one-third of his fans enjoy you more than him. It most certainly fills his heart with both happiness… and relief.
“But of course.” He smiles, hiding his mouth with his hand. “I’ll make sure to fight every single one of you before I hand My Dove over.” 
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There was a lot that could go wrong when your relationship was announced to the entirety of the globe, not to mention how bad it was when said information was released by a gossip website. 
You had been fully aware of the consequences of dating Wanderer — his fanbase was labelled as the most toxic one amongst all of 4NEMO idols. What had there been more to say, there had been a lot of people who wished to be in your place.
The sheer amount of emails sent to your agencies demanding for you to break up was something else. The flood of messages, tweets and posts flooded in from fans who had felt entitled to dictate your life had been overbearing on your mind. 
Unfortunately, for you, the biggest and the most unwelcome surprise had been yet to come. After an entire day of you alone had ended off with a call from the manager leading the group you were a member of… They had decided to put you on an indefinite hiatus. The company had chosen to exclude itself from helping your situation in any way… 
Oh, the tears you had shed that night. The comforting words your partner had to speak to try and calm you down. 
Looking back, that was the exact moment you had felt at your worst. From the sheer stupidity of a gossip magazine, which hadn’t even managed to gather reliable material — one you hadn’t had the opportunity to sue from the lack of funds — you had lost everything in one day. The only cherry on top had been seeing your fellow members be given lines in songs that had previously belonged to you. 
Your hiatus, slowly, had turned into a permanent erasure of you from the band. After many deliberations between the higher-ups, you had simply been let go. You had been thrown to the curb, forced to fend for yourself. With the unfortunate resume, the gossip website had given you, not a single rational had wanted to bet on an idol who could be in a scandal. 
To say your mental health had hit rock bottom would be an understatement. 
And yet, a light at the end of a dark tunnel existed. Your partner, despite his sarcastic persona, took your struggles seriously and did his utmost to keep you sane during the said period. That, however, did not mean Wanderer didn’t participate in some bad decision-making himself. He was taking to social media consistently, hurling insults at your previous company.
“Even if we weren’t together, I would’ve done so.” He rolled his eyes when you commented on his behaviour one time. “What sort of fucking company decides to let go of a damn good idol just because they get spam mail, like be for fucking real babe…” 
Wanderer truly became your rock during those times. These unfortunate times didn't do anything but strengthen your bond. What his fans wanted had the exact opposite effect on your relationship. 
As for your ruined career… your partner couldn’t simply leave it as that. There was so much potential left to rot, simply because some people got overwhelmed and decided to take it out on you. He decided to pull all the strings he could, just to get you back on the idol scene — with as much grace as possible. 
Bowing and scraping was not something he preferred to indulge in, but for your sake, it was quite worth it. Over the months before your relationship was revealed you had done so much to get him out of the emotional void he was stuck in… seeing you slowly enter it yourself had been the last thing he wished for. 
Many months later, the stars began to align themselves. Thanks to Wanderer’s recommendations a smaller company had decided to take you in as a solo artist. They were taking quite the gamble with your person, and you had put everything you could to make your debut a success. Your fans, 4NEMO fans, who decided to side with you after your boyfriend’s campaign… they all had done everything to make it as profitable as possible. 
To say you did a marvellous job would not simply be enough. Your perception was shifting ever so slightly with more critics complimenting the work you had done. Being your fan was no longer something to hide. 
With the sudden throwback into stardom, one group of people have made themselves known once more… The paparazzi — ones that also were working for the gossip page that was kinda sorta behind your initial downfall. 
You were simply leaving the company after a morning filled with mornings, when out of nowhere you were met with a magnitude of flashes. With a phone in your hand, you had simply done the first thing that came to mind. And well, it was to cover yourself with it. Oh, if only you didn’t forget what you had in your case — a pretty, unreleased photocard of your partner was there… All for people’s glory. 
What a way to make your return. Another Wanderer-related scandal to greet you, just as your career began to take off once more. 
“Holy fuck, you really have the worst luck, babe,” Wanderer says as you step into your shared apartment. You texted him about the situation on your way back, seeking his advice. “Did management get back to you?”  
You sink into the cough, your head landing right into his lap. “They say they don’t mind… But I’m still nervous.” Despite their reassurance, your experience has taught you no company wants to deal with scandals. Especially a small one like the one you currently work at. 
“They better fucking not, ” He replies, his finger threading through your hair as he caresses your scalp. “Especially after what I have saved in my drafts on instagram.” He is muttering to himself, talking about a scandal of a lifetime… 
It’s not like you’re paying attention to whatever he’s speaking of. You’re far too comfortable and far too anxious to do so. 
It wasn’t long before you discovered the ‘scandal’ your partner decided to create. You open social media to find his latest post — a playful selfie with his phone in the frame, sporting a cute photo card of yours in his case. It mirrors the exact scene you were photographed earlier that day. And of course, its cation was quintessential Wanderer: 
‘You bitches thought you got rid of my partner? Nah, think again. It might do you good.” 
You couldn’t help but let out a breathless laugh mixed with disbelief. Dearest heavens, this was quite a way to wake up! Your heart raced, not just from the surprise, but from the sheer magnitude of his words.
But the reaction come quickly, as expected. Wanderer’s phone starts buzzing with calls from 4NEMO's management, ready to scold him for pulling such a risky move. You can almost hear their collective sighs of exasperation through the line.
Yet, as you sit there, staring at the screen, a warmth spreads through you. There is something undeniably attractive about how he puts himself on the line for your career and mental health. It was such a bold statement - one that showed he was willing to face the backlash just to support you. 
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date of posting — october 28th 2024
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