#i watched one video where someone took the shot tho idk

[weddelledseals]

happy pride month

text under cut if you cant read my handwriting + an extra doodle

Panel 1

Noise: HEY ITALIAN MAN! Peppino: (not this guy....) Noise: HELP ME WITH MY T-SHOT!! Panel 2 + 3

Peppino: ...your t-shot? Noise: Yeah idiot.

Panel 4

Peppino: Can’t you ask Noisette? Noise: She’s outta town Peppino: Pepperman? Vigi? Noise: Nuh-Uh Peppino: Pizzahead? Noise: I’d kms first

Panel 5

Noise: Look. Peppenis. You’re the only one who’s taken these shots before. Noise: So forget the conflict for a moment ‘n’ help me out.

[babieken]

Your description of the majority of men reactors 💀 Oh yes, catling benson is one of those I enjoy as well! I wasn't sure if you were referring to them because I still haven't watched their last video, but I had the feeling something was going on. I'm glad she's being transparent about how she feels.

I think reactors often happen to have particularly excited or dramatic reactions and get/feel pressured to have the same reaction to everything they watch, also to avoid toxic fans comments... I'm sorry (not sorry) but I blame young new kpop fans for this, especially those coming from twitter, where these reactors seem to find most (if not all) rude (or worse) comments. Of course not all of them are like this, I know and see so many that are not, they are respectful and behave in a more human and chill way, but there's a big portion that does, sadly.

Anyway. I'm all for reacting to a limited number of groups, if I were ever to do such thing, I would react to my favorites and occasionally others. However, I also realize that for many this is or becomes a job, and so the wider the public the better... About authenticity, for me it's quite fundamental otherwise I just feel like I'm wasting my time...

My fav reactors are (apart from the two i've already mentioned), the safe cave (they're also been pretty transparent with subscribers over time, took breaks when needed and made clear how and what they react to, definitely my number 1) and Lktv (he does bang his head lmao but I enjoy his reactions, he does comment a lot most of the time.)

Recently I saw a few reactions from millennial men and katriinka, a vocal coach. They seem good, at least from what I saw. I knew i forgot something 🤡 choreography! Idk why is so hard to find good dancers reactions... there's jeff avenue, there was a time he used to explain even more stuff and it was 👌👌👌 Musa is too much for me 💀 too much... I also find it exaggerated, also because it's like a standard for him to react that way. And when there's an important message behind he doesn't seem to catch it? I haven't watched all his videos, but some made me mad lol so I was like, "okay, enough, thank u next".

Exactly! Like it’s to be expected for someone who’s reacting to kpop for the first time to be blown away by pretty much everything bc kpop is just on a different level than western music videos, but after a while it becomes the norm and u have to start being real… otherwise whats the point?

Yeah i also think that toxic stans are a huge part of the problem but i think its time for ppl to stop tiptoeing around and trying to fit their content into a mold just to avoid toxic stans bc all that does is give them more power. (Obv its easy for me to sit here and say this but idk i feel like we need to just do our own thing until these toxic stans learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them and their faves)

Oooh ive seen kaia’s vids on search but i dont think ive ever checked any of them out! I’ll definitely give them a shot! And I actually watched lktv’s reaction to beautiful liar and as far as enthusiasm goes they were pretty decent but one thing that kind of gave me the ick was the random korean words they threw around (and the korean greeting) idk it just gave me koreaboo vibes kdkdkdk

I remember there was this one vocal coach reacts who had really long hair and he was pretty real. Like he clearly wasnt doing it to appease kpopies. Their main reaction content wasnt even kpop but i havent seen them around (tho i didnt look them up either) in ages. Yeah… im sorry jeff avenue’s reactions are boring too.

[lotties-ashwagandha]

DIOR

pairing: billie dean howard x reader

word count: 1165

notes and warnings: the only warning would be dogs idk,, he’s a cute little thing tho he’s not violent or anything. also i had so much fun with this even tho a good portion of it is just the reader eating billie’s leftover pasta lmao. also i used gender neutral pronouns for the reader. 

summary: billie brings you home a pomeranian from the shelter because you’ve been spamming her with dog videos and pictures for months and dropping hints that you want a dog <3

You stood at the fridge, contemplating if you should eat one of the apples fresh from the store or your girlfriend’s leftovers from the night before. You were sure she wouldn’t mind, and even if she did, you would buy her extra the next time you went out to eat. Besides, it wasn’t as if the food had been bought for a special occasion – you assured yourself that if it had been a holiday or her birthday or the end of the world, you wouldn’t eat her leftovers. 

Then again… smoked chicken pasta was one of your favorites (A/N: I’m laughing so hard at this whole thing why am I lusting over smoked chicken pasta I’m literally VEGAN), and you’d gotten it from one of your favorite restaurants. 

You heard the garage door open and realized how quickly your decision had to be made – as fast as you could, you snatched the pasta from the fridge, ripping open the container and skillfully twirling the most extravagant bite of pasta you’d ever laid eyes upon (A/N: I PROMISE I’LL STOP NOW LMAO). The garage door was closing, there were about five large bites of pasta left, if you could only–

The front door shut: she was home, and you would be caught guilty in the act. 

You slammed the container haphazardly shut, throwing it in the fridge, tossing the fork in the sink and beginning to spray it with water and swallowing your mouthful of pasta. 

You heard Billie calling through the house, letting you know she was home, and you smiled, though you felt little regret over eating her pasta. 

“I’m in the kitchen!” you called, and heard her footsteps as she approached. The door to the kitchen swung open. A gust of her perfume filled the air, floral and yet the slightest bit sharp, sweet. Accompanying the scent was something you couldn’t quite place, close to the smell of floor cleaner. It was overriding the scent of tobacco that usually accompanied her perfume, and it took you off guard. 

Her arms wrapped around you from behind, her head coming to rest on your shoulder as she watched you rinse the fork.

“Where have you been?” you asked, drying your hands and turning to face her. “And why are you home so early? I thought you were going to help the family with the ghost in their basement that keeps changing the television channel to Teddy?” 

She chuckled, shaking her head. “I got done early…” she trailed off, and you wondered if she was going to continue speaking when after a moment she kissed you and you felt your nerves spike, briefly pondering how after four years her mere presence was still enough to give you such a rush. “Come out to the garage with me.” 

“Why? What’s in the garage?” 

She was hardly able to contain her smile, taking your hand and pulling you toward the door. “You’ll see. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.” 

“And you left them in the garage? Billie, what’s going on?” 

She only gave your hand a squeeze, pausing at the entrance to the garage. “Now, before we go out there, I want you to know that this is entirely your fault.” 

“Oh my god, Billie, what is in the garage?” the whole exchange had been extremely off-putting. Her words clashed with her beaming expression, the mischievous grin that seemed permanently stuck to her lips, the wink she gave you. 

She acted as if you hadn’t spoken. “Maybe I should make you close your eyes…”

“Billie!”

She finally relented and opened the door, leading you down the steps, where you heard rustling, and she clapped her hands. 

A little ball of white fluff rounded the corner and shot around the car, running full-speed at where you and your girlfriend stood, pausing to bark at you in a squealy, high-pitched tone. Before you was a white Pomeranian, his tiny feet padding excitedly on the floor of the garage. 

Shocked, you turned back to Billie, giving her a skeptical look, though you were smiling all the same. “You didn’t…”

She nodded, bathing in the excitement that filled your features. “I got the slightest hunch that you might want a dog after you sent me seven puppy videos in five minutes and started sending me those ads with all of the dogs in the pound that look like they crawled out from a sewer. I got him from the rescue you were telling me about a few days ago.” 

“Wow, you really are a psychic!” You teased, knowing how her expression would contort in annoyance at the use of the word psychic. 

“A medium, dear.”

You ignored her, turning back to the yapping dog and holding him in your arms. He snuggled into you, exhausted from being taken in the car, and he let out a small whine. The dog was soft to the touch with enough fur to insulate a mountain range and two beady little eyes that were fixed on you. As you continued to carry him, you noticed an odd aroma coming from him, and his fur was the slightest bit damp. “Billie? Why does the dog smell like you?”

“Excuse me?” 

“I mean he smells like your perfume.” 

“Oh,” she was clearly relieved at your rephrased claim. “He smelled like floor cleaner so I sprayed a bit of Dior on him. He wears it nicely, doesn’t he?” 

“Billie! You can’t put perfume on dogs!”

It took her a moment to process what you’d said, and she froze, an unlit cigarette almost to her lips. 

“You can’t smoke in front of the little fluff either!” You laughed, taking her cigarette. “Here, hold him while I go start him a bath.” 

As you handed her the dog, she tensed, her features contorting the slightest bit in disgust – as long as you’d known her, Billie had always regarded dogs as unnecessarily messy and cretinous. She never failed to remind you that the last dog she had had urinated in the full laundry basket and had chewed up her most expensive pair of heels. It seemed to be a testament to her love for you that she had even considered adopting the Pomeranian, let alone brought him home for you, and even her mishap with the perfume had proved to be unusually charming. 

Beaming, almost glowing in excitement, you left the garage. 

Billie held the dog to face her at arm's length as if it had just been baptized. She raised her eyebrows, meeting the fluff’s eyes and clearing her throat. “Y/N took my cigarette, did you see that? That was because of you. You better be worth it… Y/N ate my pasta, too, I could taste it when I kissed them. Can you believe that? Bullshit, isn’t it?”

The creature only barked in response (though he seemed to agree), and she took it into the house. “Darling?” she called, “I think we should name him Dior!”

[mimiri22-6]

Let's do this. One last time.

Ducktales 2017. I didn't think I was ready for the end, but the finale was too perfect to be sad nor angry.

There's so much to say-too much to say...and I'm going to try my best to say all of it.

EVERYONE IS HERE!! ENDGAME WHO?! DUCKTALES!!!!!

Seeing Webby and Scrooge interactions now, after watching this once, is just-They're So Soft! AND everything is just-AH I love it. It's so weird, but when is the family tree not screwy(also, Webby=Scrooge's clone? Webby=female? Trans Scrooge=Cannon?! I think Fucking So!)

Aaaaaaannd that's all we get from Gladstone and Fethry. If there's one thing I wish was in this episode more it would be more cousin interactions and Daisy. Though, Daisy not being too into it makes sense. Loved what we got of her tho. At least we got a little bit of them this episode, it was already pretty character packed

Well...Launchpad is only half wrong.

Oh wow. Oh Wow, I love this dynamic between LP, Drake, and Fenton...ot4? because I refuse to leave Gandra out. I love how Drake doesn't know about Fenton and Gizmo while it seems like everyone else in the world does. Still, LP/Drake and Gandra/Fenton some of my faves. So good

OH YEAH! Even the other 2 Caballeros are here!!

And the last adventure STARTS

I find it Fantastic how Dewey and Launchpad will probably die thinking F.O.W.L used the last level of a videogame as their secret layer layout

*sigh* This is why I avoid previews and wish I was better at avoiding theories from after those previews. I would have been more surprised and probably would have enjoyed this ep even more if I had Nothing to expect. But the theories were right. Tho, I did not expect how (or should I say Who) Webby was cloned from...though also I was spoiled by that when I was looking for the ep. Some ass used "Scrooge is Webby's dad" as a video title. I didn't think it was real, but I was wrong.

Awwww. Don has such a soft spot for kids

I love Lena and her development.

...*sigh* ok. "you've already got sisters" with this line, I am obligated to drop the Webby/Lena ship. I'm sorry, but it's one of my many rules for being ok with a ship. If the characters Ever say, even just once as an afterthought, they see each other as siblings or something similar, I will see them as that. It's why I've never been ok and have been uncomfortable with Shiro/Keith since Keith saved Shiro from...his clones...huh. So, from now on, I'm going to be Very uncomfortable with anything Weblena...even though the thought of them in the future was cute

HOW does a show about building ottomans have plot???

I wasn't sure how to feel about the clones All throughout this

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO HUEY JUST FIRST NAMED BEAKLEY!!!!!

GOLDIE AND DAISY ARE ON THE BOARD!!! SCORE!!

Oooooh. That picture of Webby's parents...is fake. It's like some picture Beakley took off the internet.

I saw a post saying how Della had to convince Donald to go on one last adventure and how she had to watch him almost die, but she really Didn't. She helped him pack and she was ready to let Donald go on his adventure("but Daisy's my adventure" They are too damn cute for their own damn good. I love them. donsy for the win), but an actual Crisis came up and he had to stay. Donald nearly dying by void was not Della's fault and if I see any more posts about how she roped Donald into a death mission, I will go up a wall and break a neck on my way down

Man, it's weird hearing this and knowing that Webby's parents don't exist

Wow! Beakley just knocked out Scrooge! Damn!

Oooh! The girls are fighting

...Woah. I just realized, the blood and brain of Scrooge McDuck and the training of Bentina Beakley. Webby is even more of a beast than we knew.

IS THAT DEVELOPMENT I HEAR!!! YOU KEEP THOSE KIDS BEHIND? YOU LOSE!!! GOOD DAY SIR!

Pepper. Just Pepper. She seems like one of your parent's nice coworkers that brings you brownies and pinches your cheeks

"Look after your brother." YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I JUST WANNA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DADRO YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS OFICIALLY BOYD GEARLOSE NOW!! YEEEEE!!!!

I also really like that you can't tell which Gyro is telling that to

God, I Fucking Love the concept that is Manny. He's one of those things that if someone asked you about him outside of the fandom, you wouldn't even know where to start. It's absolutely FanFuckingTastic. He's the most magical thing in the universe? Fuck Yes, give that to me Now!

HE SPEAKS!!!!!!(I couldn't place his voice actor, but I when I looked him up I realized recognized him for Glossaryck from SVTFOE)

(Edit: Just found out that the scene with Manny was a Gargoyles ref. Nice!)

Once again, I love everything about LP, Drake, and Fenton

And then Lena Died

Aww, they both have such soft spots for children

LUDWIG VON DRAKE?!?!!!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

(that had to be a different font because really, what the fuck)

He really did just say he was too busy to die. This duck is too powerful

(I really just don't have too much to say between all of this. I just love all of it)

Woo! Louie with the motivation!

Pft-how both of them are singing? Love to see it...wait, we don't see Don Karnage after this...DID HE DIE IN THAT CRASH?! DID DEWEY COMMIT HIS FIRST MURDER?!

"Welcome home, April." I hate you.

Of course he dabs

"he was like this when we found him." Nice to know Gos knows what to do in the event that she kills someone

Oh that's horrendous. I hate that

"Now, let's get down to business." TO DEF[get's shot]

Why is Manny like actually the best?

God, Drake and LP really are two halves of a whole idiot huh? They're soulmates, your honor

"I. Am." "Not alone in this." That was so sweet, but also JUST TELL HIM!!

And now Glom is dead

Oh, that's a lot of mind control

"Even by our standards, this is a weird day." Couldn't say it better, Lena

"How do you think Della found out about the Spear of Selene?" OH, YOU MOTHERFU

"Oh, Bradford, how villainous." DAMN! HE REALLY DID JUST DO THAT, HUH?!

"MOOOM!" "NOOO!" OH NO, MY HEART! IT FUNCTIONS!

"Do you know how replaceable clones are?" Oh yeah, that's right. You're probably not the og Gyro

Man, we don't ever have Von Drake for long but I always love him

Those lights are really only there for dramatic effect, aren't they?

...Close enough.

Launchpad moment! Yeah!!!

HEY! I just noticed. While wearing the suit, Launchpad didn't crash...idk what to do with this info

The fine print is usually good to read...we people just don't do it apparently

"...your most trusted ally?" *picks Donald* Wow. That's right there with the feels ain't it

"it's not worth the risk." Fuck, I love them

Oh that sounds so weird. Scrooge has never been a dad, always Uncle. So Weird

And Gandra, Gyro, and Von Drake are dead. There is a Body Count this episode

"Donald Duck." "Uncle Scrooge." I SEE YOU! I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE! AND I LOVE IT!

Hehe. From Bitchford to bird brain.

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS ENDING SCENE IS THE BEST!

Beakley thinking she's no longer accepted? Nah, she was granny first and foremost

ANOTHER FENRA KISS?! DON'T MIND IF I DO!

DADRO AND GOSALYN AND DRAKE?! LOVING IT!

MORE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS?! WOO!

DONALD IMMEDIATELY ADOPTING JUNE AND MAY?! ONLY THE BEST FROM HIM!!!!

PROTECTIVE SCROOGE?! YOU DON'T SEE ME COMPLAINING!

"We're smarter" "We're tougher" "We're sharper" And we'll earn our way square." AH-I'M GOING DOWN LIKE THE SUNCHASER, GUYS

AND THE END CREDITS WILL NEVER BE MATCHED!!!!!

I don't know what else to say.

This show was amazing from beginning to end. I may not have cried, but I didn't need to cry. It wasn't sad and there was nothing bittersweet about it. Just pure perfection, just like the rest of the show.

Perfectly Preen, not a fether out of place.

Goodnight Ducktales, you were perfect

[hhuta]

every day i think about how they changed the le bien qui fait mal and l'assasinphonie choreography so salieri wasn't dancing close with sexy half naked men. do we know why. i have tried and failed to pinpoint an exact time. i feel like im going insane. they no homoed a dance

anon.. i think about that daily too... im so happy someone else loves the original choreos like i do 😭 it took me a while to reply cuz i was on a mission to answer ur questions as best as i could. so... finally... here is what i found out:

first of all if u wanna read my rant about the changes, in general, here are the posts about le bien qui fait mal and l'assasymphonie

second of all "do we know why" is a good question. meaning i dont have an answer dlkjaskl i just now started to learn french so if they ever talked about it in a video, or something... i missed it. so right away im telling u that i can only offer my guesses.

///

starting with LE BIEN QUI FAIT MAL, as i said in that post i linked, i tried to figure out whether they only degayed it for the 2011 proshot or not and i found out that no, the changes were also present in live performances.

then an anon told me massimiliano (the dancer who manhandles salieri) couldnt be at the 2011 proshot recording. i checked the video and he really wasnt there at all, but that still doesnt fully explain things, bc as u will see from my extensive, very professional research, unlike in the 2011 proshot, in live 2011 shows massimiliano was there, performing, in other parts of the musical. just not during lbqfm. i know he is an irreplaceable icon, so much that i couldnt find a single video where he wasnt the one manhandling salieri (even tho other dancers, from other parts of the choreo, kept switching), but to me its now clear that that was not the case. they really just decided to change the choreo.

so now lets see how it all progressed

for that its helpful to know the dates of mor performances. based on that i was insane enough to watch as many videos as i could to try to pinpoint when the choreo changed. except it wasnt that simple. i quickly found out that a loootttttt of other changes happened before that major one, before massimiliano left. so here it is

THE LBQFM CHOREO CHANGES I NOTICED

03.01.2010 last PDS performance, still the original

6, 26 february 2010 original

11 march 2010 original (massimiliano's skirt fell off 😭)

20 march 2010 original

8 may 2010 original

9 may 2010 not so much the original anymore. this is the first change i've noticed. @1:28 originally its a male dancer who bends back salieri and then there are 2 men and 2 women who .. idk how to describe it, but do that push and pull motion. here one of the guys is not there

(10, 11, 12 no performances)

13, 15, 16 may 2010 now the other guy is gone too, only women left (but the dancer is not really gone. im pretty sure hes there, doing another thing next to them)

(cannot find a video from the 17th, that was the last performance in lyon)

performances at zenith de saint etienne begin at the 21st but i couldnt find a video from it

22 may 2010 original again (sidenote salieri is really unhinged here)

27 may 2010 change. female dancer who's usually interacting with salieri during the first verses isnt there, just massimiliano. not sure if its the same woman who calls him during the bridge and moves him thru the dancers but anyways shes also not there, he walks around alone. so when the Climax happens, again, only massimiliano is there grabbing him

31 may 2010 and 6, 10, 13 and 19 june 2010 another change. the female dancer is back, but during "j'adore l'avoir dans la peau" usually there are two dancers next to him mimicking playing a harp with their bodies but not this time

now the dates that matter the most i cant find a single videeooo 🤡 which are the performances in limoges (25, 26 and 27 june 2010) so all i can say is that

3 july 2010 is the first time i could find that massimiliano wasnt there. aka the degayed choreo. but i cant say if it is the first. also the original choreo for the "j'adore..." part is back again. thats the only performance they did in nancy and its also the last tour performance from 2010. a bunch of people were at the curtain call, even albert cohen was there, so its very weird that massimiliano was absent. im so mad i couldnt find those videos from late june bc all i got is just one video of him not being there, which makes me think he just couldnt be there so they had to change the choreo

9 november 2010 they are back in PDS and its the original again (also this is just for me but he still has the original cravat here. im trying to kill two birds with one stone)

2 december 2010 original (salieris beautiful cravat is gone 😔but this is one of my fave videos)

5, 11 december 2010 still the original

12 december 2010 changes again 😭 "j'adore..." harp dancers are gone again

14 december 2010 they are back <3 (funny video bc mikelangelo forgets to give florent the score)

18 december 2010 NOW HERE ITS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING. a little change. massimiliano is there at the beginning, he drags salieri around but then hes gone before the first verse starts! and he doesnt come back !!! harp dancers are still there tho lmao

19 december 2010 massimiliano is fully gone 🎻 yamin even replaced him during la mascarade, like it happens in the 2011 proshot. i think since this date this change became the standard for a while, before they went back to the original. in the meantime, im guessing its when they shot the 2011 proshot

26 december 2010 still just the female dancer

4, 8 january 2011 still just the female dancer

9 january 2011 still just the female dancer but because it was the last performance in paris, before going on tour again, she has a whip for funsies. also they added, at the end, 2 female dancers sorta removing and quickly putting back salieris coat

28 january 2011 first tour performance, still just the female dancers. and i was not paying attention to this before, but i noticed for the first time in this video the 2 women dancing together, like they show for 2 seconds in the 2011 proshot. lesbian rights <3 i dont think it was part of the original choreo? its hard to tell exactly when they added that bc people usually record salieri, not the dancers, and hes not next to them when it happens (its before the bridge)

4, 5, 6 february 2011 still just the female dancer. but unlike before, this time (but idk exactly when it began) massimiliano was there for other parts of the show; yamin and other people didnt replace him (on the 4th: im pretty sure hes present in l'assasymphonie) (on the 5th: hes in la mascarade, le trublion, etc)

so. they really just changed it. massimiliano not being able to perform wasnt the case. we have to accept that they made a mistake <333 ldkajslk

19, 20, 27 february 2011 the original is back

19, also 19, 20, 23, 26 march 2011 it changed a little again but massimiliano is still there. no one bends salieri back and just one guy and one woman do the push and pull motion. also i think around here they removed the two women dancing together? maybe i just cant see it

20 mai 2011 original back once again

01 april 2011 .................... clearly an aprils fools joke bc massimiliano is gone again. i randomly picked this date cuz i knew it would be cursed dlkjaslk.. also again salieri doesnt get bent back and just 2 dancers do the push and pull... u knOW IT !!! WE GET IT !!!!! ok but i love him dramatically sighing and falling on the floor at @2:58 hes doing the most to make up for the flavour that got lost

03.06.2011 original again

12.06.2011 just massimiliano, no female dancer. im obsessseedddd with this video fully bc of the things massimiliano does!! obsessed with his evil smile @0:48, obsessed with salieri forgetting to throw the score on the floor, so massimiliano grabs it from his hand and forces him to kneel and stand up again. can u tell im a massimilianator and the choreo without him has no chance to please me?

17.06.2011 back to the original again

now im gonna skip to the very last performance from this production bc im honestly tired lkdajskl

10 july 2011 its the original thank god

TL;DR: 19 december 2010 is when the degayed choreo became the standard for a bit and on 19 february 2011 the original returns.

im confident that watching all those videos in a short period of time gave me brain damage but .. anything for science <3

ANYWAYS i started to do this to figure out why they changed It only to realise they changed A Lot of other things throughout performances (some things i didnt even mention, like the dance the woman does next to salieri during the first verse changes a lot) and they kept going back and forth to the original choreo. i think i can safely say not a single part (involving salieri) remained the same throughout the whole thing (not even the bending him back part was always there. i could swear it would be but!! no!). my guess is maybe because a certain dancer took a break or maybe they just wanted to do something different

in conclusion i figured out the exact dates but i cant tell u why massimiliano wasnt part of lbqfm for a while. i couldnt even find people talking about it on forums but, again, maybe bc im not fluent in french. to me it was a big loss, the whole thing loses its spice, i obviously prefer the original by miles. no idea why they simply didnt chose someone to replace him bc the other dancers changed all the time.

maybe it was in florents contract that only massimiliano was allowed to manhandle him <3 dlkjaslk im half kidding bc who knows? maybe it was a legal thing, maybe massimiliano invented this part of the choreo and only He could do it 😭 but honestly. my real final guess is that they simply wanted to change things to make it New and Fresh. as we saw, massimiliano leaving wasnt the only lbqfm choreo change.

///

moving on to L'ASSASYMPHONIE thank god bc it will be a lot easier to pinpoint when they changed the choreo. i believe they changed it and never went back to the original </3 god knows why </333 so when i find the new one ill stop looking

03.01.2010 last performance from "season one", at PDS (before going on tour) and also the last time they used the original choreo bUT ! THERES A BONUS! MORE MEN !!! LKDJALKS they said we will degay it later but u can have more naked men as a goodbye gift <3 really caught me by surprise, its the first time i watched it. but u wanna know whats really weird? this blurry shaky video is the only one i can find?! i even had to scroll a lot on youtube to get to it... conspiracy theory dove is trying to hide the original choreo. but honestly it makes no sense bc it was a Special day..... i cant find it anywhereee not even outside youtube... this is a hate crime. this is offensive. this is the heresy salieri sings about in the song.

the only thing i found was another performance from the same day but i think its the morning or afternoon performance and not the very last one. its for sure different than the one i linked first. i dont think there are 100 men onstage but at least we can see he had black nails 🥰 anyways... if anyone knows a better shot video of the very last performance... let me know... im really upsetklfdjalsjdal I FEEL SOOOO ROBBED...

and im even more mad now, remembering that from now on we get this new choreo. it began on their first tour

04.02.2010 2010 tour begins, first time we see the new choreo

and i have absolutely no idea why they changed it. again, i never saw an explanation and i dont have a single guess. i cannot imagine why they thought the new one was better. if i have to say one nice thing about it is that i like the background, the moving curtain that kinda looks like flames. they should absolutely drop the stupid flashing lights and just leave that background for the Cool effect and bRING BACK..... THE HALF NAKED BLINDFOLDED MEN (HNBM) ...........  THEY CAN REPRESENT SO MUCCHHHHHH... I LOVE THEM....

thats all i got to say otherwise ill start repeating myself.. if u wanna read more about my opinions on the hnbm and why i prefer the original l'assasymphonie choreo its all in the second link of this post..

anyways big thanks to anyone who read this, hope u enjoy all those videos. even with the dagayed choreos, florent and the dancers always deliver amazing performances. so, regardless, its a good time to watch them. lastly if anything is wrong, if i put down the wrong date or something, my bad, but it was .. a lot.. to go through, so if anyone sees a mistake let me know !

[clandestine-j]

Gossip Girl, EP. 4 Reaction & Review

Finally, I've gathered all of my thoughts for ep. 4! I had this really cool extra post to the intro and had more thoughts but then I lost the entire thing so I had to re-write the entire post SO, yeah, this is all I have for this part. Also, if anyone has those bts photos please let me know, i’m looking for the ones that have the audience reacting to max’s dick pick from the fashion show, aki biting his lip. please send. 

ADULTS:

Kate & CO: JAIL JAIL JAIL. We had that one teacher being turned on by incest and ruining kids lives. DO BETTER IN JAIL. I'll say tho, the male teacher makes a better gossip girl, he doesn't feel bad and is enjoying it. Kate could never.

Rafa: JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. I hate that they showed us this man having common sense. This man, pushing Max away sexually but understanding that he needs serious help. I hate that they just didn't have them flirting and show us him saying no, I'm so upset. I'm even more upset that I fell for him being the character to subvert the trope. I can only blame myself but blame HBO as well. I also hate the comments saying it's okay or well, the show needs scandal and spice. They could've been photographed together in normal clothes, just standing next to each other. Max could lie to GG. There are a bunch of ways these could become an IC scandal without having them cross the line. If you support this, you need help.

OUR KIDS:

Max: My boy needs therapy, lots of it. Maybe rehab. On one hand, he's being taken advantage of because he's clearly going through something and more than just his dads and he has been for a while. His escapism is dangerous and anyone would be able to prey on that. On the other hand, I need someone to beat his ass. His lines to Rafa about money and career were punch worthy and out-right willing to lie about Rafa doing something to him, even just to press Rafa's buttons. He needs help, he needs to be taught boundaries, he needs a lot. And why were the only two people concerned for his week-long disappearance Aki and Audrey, the whole squad should've had the guns out, friends since childhood, sure.

Obie: My boy, I get that you didn't like where you saw Zoya headed. I get that in some aspects you were right about her being a little too involved and suspecting Julien. That being said, she was having real problems and troubles and needed support. Do better. Obie still isn't the worst character on the show and many of them are SOOOO much worse. He doesn't deserve the all of the smoke he's been getting when their are better people for it.

Monet & Luna: I hate them as people and love them as characters that move the plot. I guess I could see how they thought the fuck school thing was horrible (and Julien too since she planned on showing Obie). The directors cut, I don't think they thought it'd ruin Zoya, they're just fucking cruel and found it funny. Let's box. Also, why are ya'll so pressed over this CHILD. Like get over it, find a real up-coming social media star. 

Aki & Audrey: My good sis, you brought a gay man to make Aki jealous. I'm sick, it was fucking funny. Her comments at first were off the wall, I wish the writers would've done something else but a lot of woman don't see it as normal so I sort of get it. I'm glad she came around by the end. And Aki...he was a little spicy this episode, my boy was ready to pop off a bit AND I AM HERE FOR IT. My dude said, 'I don't regret kissing him' I was THROWN. Aki being with Audrey helps me like her more because she's a bitch that's still ready to gun for a now 15 year old girl but her and Aki's relationship is cute. They could break up and be fine which is great, I love that their relationship is really more than just dating and the friendship is strong. I'm here for it.

Zoya: It's just bad writing but my head canon is trauma. Trauma from her moms death death, trauma from the past and current bullying that caused her lash out. I felt like this was her breaking point (so far) and anything gossip girl related as always came around to Julien. If she trusted Julien more, she wouldn't have thought of her as the person causing her issue's but she doesn't trust her. They were civil but even at the end of ep 2. Her 'hell yeah' to Julien about bonding was too dry, too dry. I think a big part of her just doesn't trust Julien and she'll always think the worse because she's seen mostly the worse. And that video, horrible, I'd hate everything about my birthday too after that and even before. Her emotions during the scene and the talk with Julien, ouch. And while I'm happy that Zoya found herself in the end, YES GIRL POP OFF. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. THIS IS THE FLAVOR. I WAS WAITING FOR THIS AND I WANT MORE. I DEMAND MORE. I SEE A SPARK OF A BITCH, LET HER OUT GO, GO ALISON DELAOTRUINES ON THESE BITCHES.

Julien: Once again, I love Julien as a character, I know she's supposed to be struggling and for that, It's fun to watch her BUT. Julien could never be on my team, she's too wishy-washy. That is my issue, she's too, just...flip-floppy with no substance. Like, when she does things wrong, they're expected  to be forgiven / are forgiven without true reflection or anything on her part. She fucks up, she see's its wrong and then she says sorry and goes on it does it again. This episode was just the worst example, like, the moment she heard buffalo, she was ready to send in a tip. Instead of just doing the party normally and being best because she's hear, she sends the video to Monet. She believes Luna and Monet (Monet talking about her throne being taken when Zoya isn't even an influencer) and she eats it up. They were the ones who did the dick pick thing, like girl, THINK. And why does she never get the full plan, why would she not watch the video or why is she so shocked that Luna and Monet would play something like that? She knows them. Friends since childhood? Sure. Using your moms name to make the party about charity? SIS, THE FEUD IS NOT WORTH IT. She says she wants to be sisters but then she switches up so fast and the witches up again, it's whip-last and I'm sick. I hate that she's doing this to her and I hate even more that's is the writers fault. I don't mind a character having personal conflict but make it a conflict. Like after four episodes, why is she still friends with her sisters bullies? At the end of the episode, she says she's gonna tell them to lay down their weapons, NO, shut it down. correct them. make it clear and make it known. I love my girl because she's flawed but I wish they'd linger on things and have her really think about it. I was fine with the i'm sorry speech up until the camera part.

Other random thoughts

fuck the rafa max thing again, i'm not over, i will never be over it

evan mock isn't the best but he does give me face at times, his 'wtf stare', little sly looks, the 'wtf' moment when audrey first asked him if he was gay like 'this bitch' also, give him more annoyed, irritated scenes, he gives in those

have julien go full nice or full evil for a while, pick a side and stick with it for more than one episode

i wish zoya was a bitch at her old school but i'm fine with this too, it explains why she was so reactionary when it came to the bullying at constance, not again!

i wish we could've seen julien talk with davis after that stunt

nick and davis, KISS, the ride scene was 100%

don't talk about obie so soon

i like that she chose to be with julien for the night, it was cute

emily makes these faces that i can't get with

eli brown is a good actor, that shot of him during the traumatic reveal

i will say, zobie might be boring but when they talk, they talk, their communication is p good, i don't hate it

i’d be here for obie x aki bc they’re friends, they got chemistry, aki was giving look lil up and downs this episode, aki was giving a lot of looks this ep, honestly, idk i just don’t want him heart broken 

aki menzies is still my comfort character

i couldn't take rafa serious with his ass out,

whitney's acting in that talk scene, perfect, my girl had me in tears because DAMN

jordan is pretty good but in that scene, go girl, give me nothing

fuck max and rafa

max lied about his dads or at least one, AT LEAST one, i don't think they'd do that, he saw his in and took it

aki and aud, just have that open relationship, ya'll will make it, the way he tucked into her, it was so sweet

davi and nick secret relationship plot

jail for all of the teachers, once again

the hallway scene was great, the cinematography is been clutch overall

music wasn't as jarring

that's about it! i have more thoughts on the show overall that might be another post, they have a lot of amazing ideas but they need to stick with one and flush it out is the overall gist, i'm still into it!

can't wait for five bc i love the angst that's about to hit.

[theblackbirdsgemimagines]

Ramble away, cause I feel the twisted head rot, I kinda wanna see what you think about our bois. ~ a pocket sized dragon hops in excitement.

A POCKET SIZED DWAGOOOOOONNNN 😭💞💞💞 That’s so BLESSED, and tysm omg, I’m very glad to just spill out my barking on every boy, bc yEAH THE BRAIN ROT SKDHAKDB

THE BRAIN ROT IS SO REAL LOL

Everything I breathe ends up relating to TWST in some way, like at this point just let me take my friends, cousins, and pets, and of course Lulu and Seb, and I will have 1. A Gottdamned Harem, 2. So Many Children, and 3. NEVER WANT TO LEAVE. Kwfhskdhjwek

Ok this is gonna be long bc I gotta cover all my boys, so rip lol.

Dorm Leads:

Riddle

GOD, my Fucking Baby, my CHILD, my SWEET BABY BOY, I’M 👁💧👄💧👁

I would die for him, beetch, he is PRECIOUS ♥️

He reminds me of how I feel Ciel would behave if S/O took the place as Sebastian’s contracee, too, so like 🥺 Lots of feels 😭

Is Son, I have adopted him now. If you mistreat him, don’t ever speak to me or my son ever again. I’ll FIGHT his MOM, don’t TEST me. I’m his new mom now. His BIRD mom. So proud of him, he’s like...one of the few that’s actually shown growth in canon after his overblot kshdkadjs

Leona

👁💧👄💧👁

.....I am a Mere Simp....

Ya’ll.... I swearh to ghOD I simped hard for Scar back when I was a wee thing, I did NOT expect to simp for him AGAIN LATER IN LIFE, what the FUCK aidhskdhskdj

Like shit bitch, damn, you may not be king of Afterglow honey, but you can be king of my heart if you wAnt to bb....

Leona: *smiles once, even if it’s smugly*

Me: *WEEPING* Look at hiiiiiiim!! My sunshine booooooy! 😭

Does this make me a furry

Probably

I am too Simp to Care Anymore

I HESITATED TO GET ATTACHED BC THIS BOY LOOKS LIKE A FUCKIN WOMANIZER IF I EVER SAW ONE, BUT HE DRINKS HIS RESPECT WOMEN JUICE EVERY SINGLE MORNING AND I WAS A GONNER SNDJAJDHSJ

FUCK

Call me a Herbivore again, bully me //SLAPPED

Azul

He secretly a lil shit sometimes, but tha’s ok, it’s mostly in a silly way, especially post overblot~ UvU

The sweetest bby everytime I read fanposts on him, like god, ah 💜💜💜 WHOMST COULD BULLY SUCH A CUTE CHUBBY OCTOBABY I’LL FIGHT ALL OF EM!! A sweetheart 10/10 would be his friend 💗 Not making contracts with him tho, lol

...ok maybe SOME after his overblot, but they’re able to be easily reversed now, so it’s way more chill andhsjdj

Kalim

FUCK!!!! F U C K!!!! BABYYYYYYY!!!! BABY!!!! I HAVE ADOPTED HIM IF YOU TOUCH HIM YOU D I E

He is literally so sweet, anytime anyone was like “you’re so nice it’s annoying” I WAS READY TO COME FLYING IN TO BITCH SLAP THEM LIKE AJDHSKDHSJ (even if I also loved them lol)

Like NO you are WRONG whfksjd

He has also grown so much, and I am proud ♥️🧡

Vil

Jesus Christ, canon Vil is Hurting Meeeeee ajdhskdhsj

My fave fanon Vil is the one that recognizes all different types of beauty, though~ uvu and is v encouraging to anyone that may be struggling with self hatred 💜

Canon: Vil is pretty~.

Me: Wow, wtf???? He IS so pretty... How rude I didn’t think you were serious! Wow him??? Pretty??? Wow??? Wow...

Idia

I’m not sure yet, as I haven’t seen him very often, but of the few times that I have: BIG same, huge mood, and Me FUCKING Too, goddamn akdhakdj

Idia is my Anxiety and Anime Nerd personified tbh lol

What Ortho is to him are what all my comfort characters are to me, honestly.

Like what would you like bby, you want that singing voice?? Ok here comes a synthesizer just special for you~. Ily, mwah~ u3u 💕

Malleus

HEAVY BREATHING

Ok maybe it’s just the lack of story/info out on him yet, but I don’t currently simp as hard for him compared to Leona, I’ll admit jajdkajd

BUT BOY HOWDEY DO I EVER STILL S I M P...

He Is Baby... And I Lob Him....

I am going to smooch those horns and forehead crown of beautiful scales 🖤🖤🖤 I am going to do it!!!! Here I go!!!

HE CAN HAVE ALL THE ICE CREAM AND TAMAGATCHI DATES HE WANTS I’M- 😭

This man is too precious for words, and I have so much childhood nostelgia to ‘enchanted’ woods, and being in the mountains, so he has Old Fae Friend vibes to me~🖤

DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON F-

Ngl I ship him and Leona a lil bit lol

No, not just bc that makes a poly with my two faves easier, but that is a bonus factor jadhajdj

Vice Dorm Heads:

Trey

Oh my god, the Daddy to my Mommy with all these newly adopted lil kids of ours, ya know??? What a wholesome sweetie and funny lil shit jahdksdh~

I love him, I would gladly make tarts with, AND for him 💚💚💚

The kind of boi who I’d ship HARD with anyone he started dating bc My God it would warm my heart So Much 💞💞

Ruggie (unofficial but may as well be at this point lol)

He took a while to grow on me kadhskdhsj

But I think he’d be a sweet, if a trouble-maker of a friend to have~.

Dank you for taking care of my sweet lion bby, honey, I’m sure Farrena is a sweetheart, but boi I hope he gets his shit together to fix up where Ruggie lives 😭

I think if I met his granny, I’d CRY jadhajsh 💗💗

Leech Twins (?)

Idk if they’re vice leaders, but who cares lol

THESE are the older Big Brothers in every sense of the word. (My canon ages most everyone up just a bit, save for Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Kalim, Jamil, Cheka, and anyone already 20+)

The ANNOYING older big brothers, lol.

The ones that hug you to death (Floyd), or use you for an arm rest (Jade), and specifically Do the thing you asked/told them NOT to Do.

This is fine with me tho, I’m an only child, please give me the experience of annoying older brothers lol 💙💚

Jamil

I used to hate you bby, I’m so sorry akdhskdhs

I’ve adopted him now, and I’m v proud he’s trying, but making clear what his boundaries are, and trying to come out of a shell he was made to be in for so long 😭

AND HIS DANCING IS SICK LIKE HONESTLY I’M SUCH A PROUD MOM 💗💗💗

Rook

God. FUCKING Rook, lol.

IDK IF I SHOULD TRUST YOU, but I also kinda wanna be your friend akdhakdjs

HE CONCERNS ME but he also seems nice and v sweet sometimes, lmao

Blz don’t stalk me tho 😬

STOP SHOOTING YOUR ARROWS AROUND SCHOOL YOU BLOODY HEATHEN FRENCH PRISS, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE

Also, if he DARES hunt cute animals around me, especially BIRDS, I am going to GRIP him jahdkahdsk

He’s like if Lord Druitt was a Little More Nice and a Little Bit Less Creepy ajdhak

Lilia:

GOD.

I LOVE THIS FUCKING GRANDPA.

I. FUCKING. LOVE. THIS FUCKING. GRANDPA.

I absolutely hc him as nonbinary w/masc pronouns, I absoLUTELY do.

I adore him, I love him, I haven’t gotten a squish (hardcore desire to be someone’s friend, lol) this hard for a character since AngelDust, I-

Pwease be nonbinary friends with me, Lilia 🥺

THE ONLY PERSON HERE SHORTER THAN ME, BUT I’LL TAKE IT AJDHAKDHJS

Anyone know Corpse and how he plays Among Us? That’s how I see Lilia playing his video games with friends and I JUST I JUST I J U S T

The Spencer to your Carly.

He and Crowley are free to compete as Dad with me too like honestly kshdkadjjs

He’ll always be granpa tho uvu 💚💖🖤

Extras:

Ace

God, the Fucking Annoying Middle Brother that pranks you ALL THE DAMN TIME, but I love him andhakdhsk

Deuce

THE BROTHER THAT WILL BEAT UP YOUR BULLIES 💙💙💙 SWEET BABY BOY

The Josh to Ace’s Drake. The Cody to Ace’s Zack. The Freddie to your Carly and Ace’s Sam.

If he and Ace started dating, tho, I would CRY.

But regardless who they end up dating, it’ll be slow burn friends to lovers, and literally the most adorable shit to watch EVER 💞💞💞😭

Cater

Seems Like A Womanizer But Actually Drinks His Reapect Women Juice And We Stan That 🧡

Can always count on him to help tou get the best Magicram shots, bless you Cater 🧡🧡

Also rly wanna be his friend, ngl 😭 Even IF he pranks me a lot kadhakdhsj

Jack:

H E AV Y BR EA T H IN G

Ngl my feelings for him are in the air IDK IF I WANNA SMOOCH OR NOT YET I JUST KNOW I LOB HIM HE GOODEST BESTEST BOY 💛💛💛😭

If all three Savannaclaw bois got in a cuddle pile with me, I would Not Be Mad

How can I give this boy love, tell me and I will Do It

Gift him all the cacti’s he WANTS💛

God he drinks that respecc women juice bright and early on his run every morning, you KNOW he does 💛💛💛

I wawnt to pet his ears an tail an fwuffy wolf form 😭

I WAWNT TO SEE THE BOY SMILE AND BE HAPPY 💞💞💞

Sebek

CHILL CHILL CHILL CHILL CH-

He is a v devoted guard tho, we love to see it UvU

I don’t have more info on him hekdhskdj but his fanmade content seems v v sweet~ 💚

Silver

HE ATTRACTS BIRDS AND I CRY ABOUT IT PLEASE BE MY FRIEND AND TEACH ME HOW 🥺🥺🥺

Him being raised by Lilia and Malleus literally gives me so much Fucking Seratonin....... God 💞💕💗💗💞💞💗💗💕💞

Ortho

IS BABY????? IS BABY!!!!!! I’M LOVE HIM I’M ADOPTING HIM IS BABYYYYYYY 💙💙💙💙💙

Cheka:

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

He is so FUCKING CUTE what the FUCK!

Leonaaaaaaa... 🥺 Your NEPHEWWWWW 😭

I might steal him from Farrena tbh, lIKE MY CHILD NOW~ 🧡🧡

I just sob and hug him every time I see him honestly 😭

Teachers:

Dire Crowley

Ohhhhhh god oh god oh god

Be my dad. Please. Be my dad. PLEASE be my dad. Ya’ll think I’m joking, I’m not. Please adopt me. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

This man as a father gives me so much dopamine and oxytocin and seratonin??? I have been weeping for WEEKS, please adopt me, Sir

Fathers with zero braincells being wrapped around a daughter’s little finger makes me so weak, and I am just here with Daddy Issues like ajdhakdhsj BLEASE ADOPT ME MISTER BIRD MAN

Crewel

Ew.

Forgive me, I haven’t seen much content with him in it/that could be considered wholesome, bUT JADHWKDJSJ

UncoMFORTABLE

Please keep the kink talk out of the classroom, S I R

Call me puppy one more time, see what happens, I’m not scared to fight a teacher akdhakdhsj

Trein

The Dad Figure that tries to be the stern part to Crowley’s blumbering kahdkqrhsjdj

Don’t feel as much attachment to him emotionally, but I like him~

Just let me pet your cat sometimes and give you holiday presents, and we’re cool~ ♥️

Vargas

Found the womanizer //SMACKED

And of course, I can’t forget Grim~!

He’s grown on me, and if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in the room, and then myself 😭

I will pet and snuggle and hold him all he wants and feed him all the tuna his heart desires uvu 💙

[s-nh]

Idk where I’m gonna go with this but I’m 25 years old and I’m so upset at myself.

I was in a toxic relationship from 17-24 and this person was 4 years older than me. He was caring and thoughtful at times and made me laugh a lot but he was also so cruel and narcissistic, and overall so disrespectful.

I shared my goals and dreams with him and he made me believe they were stupid. As our years together went by I stupidly revolved my time around him. I’d see him 4/5 days a week and spent my entire days with him. Not saying they weren’t enjoyable moments despite the fact that 75% times were spent arguing and not getting along, but as time progressed I started to think to myself,

“I get ready to see him and I come over to his house to lay around in his room all day watching him play video games, smoke and drink and eat.” Things I could easily do at home. I wouldn’t have had a problem If all that time wasn’t spent basically and pretty much doing absolutely nothing.

I was 23, and something in me was starting to die and that was my patience. He was 26. He worked part time at a food establishment, was still smoking and drinking and playing video games. That’s fine. But what else?? Like what else are you doing.

24 I gave up. The verbal and emotional and mental and almost physical abuse was enough. His will of wanting to improve wasn’t there.

I had one more dream left in me that I wanted to accomplish and when he shamed me for it. I reached my peak.

I left.

I felt free and I never knew I had this giant weight on my shoulders until a week went by and started focusing on myself.

I always had this feeling inside me that I gave my genuine love to the wrong person. I wanted to love. I wanted to have someone I could give that love to. But not just anyone. Someone who would reciprocate it back.

I dated someone shortly after and was hit with that “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse. Was I hurt. A little. But I didn’t let it beat me up.

Then this other guy comes into my life and he was so talented, so sweet, so handsome, I was just in such awe by him and All I wanted was to be around him. But he was busy and was “only able” to have me come over passed midnight.

One morning when we both woke up we went out for breakfast and he asked me “so what are your plans after quarantine?”

“What do you mean?”

“Yeah, like what are your moves?”

Then I realized I was over here judging my ex for not progressing while I was doing the exact same thing at the moment. Not really doing anything.

I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to keep taking these classes that had to do with this dream I have but I didn’t want to tell him. I believe in that superstition of “never tell someone what you’re going to do bc if you end up not achieving it, then you were just all talk. Move in silence.”

I can’t remember what I replied with but I remember asking him “what about you?” And he immediately answered with all these tasks and places and work he was aiming on accomplishing and I just felt so mad at myself.

In a way I was glad I was mad bc it kinda gave me a push to just stop being a procrastinating bitch and start moving like I wanted to when I broke up with my ex.

This guy, I just wanted him. I wanted him to myself. I wanted him to keep inspiring me in silence. But unfortunately he didn’t feel the same way about me when I expressed my feelings for him after 5 months of “talking”. I mean I only slept over every weekend and had sex, and received phone calls from him daily but slowly I started to notice a change. That feeling you start getting where you know they’re not as interested anymore as how they used to be? That.

It almost felt like he was forcing himself to call me, seeing me, everything. And this was before I told him how I felt. But I still tried. I’d like to think he was trying too but it almost felt like it was a chore for him. One day he picked me up so we could get boba and as we sat down, he was showing me something on his phone and he handed it to me so I could look at what he was showing me. He received a text and almost immediately took his phone from me to see who the text was from.

It was his brother in law but the way he snatched his phone from a text he got made me recognize that familiar action that my ex would do when he was cheating on me and would take his phone like that from me when he’d receive a text.

I ignored it tho. Later come to find out he was talking to someone else the entire time we were a “thing” and now he’s happy with her.

That’s fine but I wish he would’ve been honest and not hit me with the same shit. “It’s not you, it’s me and I’m just so broken rn and you deserve someone that isn’t. And no there’s no one else.”

But there was.

An old coworker at my previous job was interested in me and he knew what I went through w my ex and these last two guys.

He pursued me and what not and there I go falling for the attention and words that meant nothing once the deed was done.

I’ve become so numb now to men. My walls are so high and another old coworker of mine told me,

“Leave your feelings at home and just have fun. They don’t take you seriously, then don’t put in the effort. Play the game natalie.” I thanked him for what I considered stupid advice but ended up taking it as a few other men started shooting their shot.

I’ve messed around but wouldn’t get caught up on falling for their lame ass efforts. And I say lame bc it was the bare minimum.

They aren’t bothered so why should I be.

After leaving my ex I just started to do what I never did in my late teens and early 20’s and that was going out and having fun.

I made friends along the way and I can’t tell you how much I secretly appreciate the moments of just going out and being around them and getting drunk and being stupid.

But then it’s also a problem bc I should be focusing on getting my shit together and having fun later.

But I crave getting away from my house and just enjoying my time and forgetting about responsibilities and worries and stress from home.

This new guy came into my life and I remember telling him when we first hung out “I’m not interested in anything rn. I don’t want a relationship.”

But he goes out of his way in wanting to spend time with me even though he’s busy himself being a high school teacher, an architect, painter, doing branding for companies, and so much more.

He takes me out, expresses his interest in me, listens, treats me well but I’m stupid enough to not feel a single drop of mutual interest like he does.

I feel nothing.

And then I also feel bad bc I’m wasting his time. I’d love to be his friend but I know he would erase me from his life to get rid of the hurt that I know I’ll cause.

But it’s not fair to him. And not right of me.

Like he knows what I said that day of not wanting anything but it’s like he’s been trying to see if I’ll change my mind.

Myself from a year ago would love and appreciate the fact that I finally found someone who could reciprocate what I’ve been trying to give but my present self now doesn’t feel that same attraction.

Idk I’m everywhere with this whole rant but idk what do.

I can’t with myself 90% of the time.

I need to get it together. Time keeps passing by day by day. Second by second. There’s no going back.

He’s offering me jobs and amazing opportunities but how fucked would I look and be if I accept knowing he’s only doing it bc he likes me and I don’t feel the same.

I’d deny bc of it even though I want to say yes.

I don’t know.

[godrics]

NCT DREAM BEYOND LIVE CONCERT!RORY

gif made by x

NCT DREAM BEYOND LIVE CONCERT!RORY

UNDER READ MORE  (bc it’s actually really long now that im on tumblr)

okay so the concert started with the vcr/video from the dream show ..

rory's little scene was her as a teacher !!! so cute

OOH and then the transition into her into her teacher clothes into a suit .. thats my girl

her hair is still like this. much more vibrant than it was because she redyed it oops

first song was GO!! change ur ways

she was wearing this [ black cargo pants, a black crop top, belt, along with chains lmao idk how to describe. oh and black boots ] for go, drippin', we go up, and stronger performances!

it was kind of awkward at first but then she saw nctzens' faces so she was happy

"to the world, this is the nct! we are nct dream”

she clapped excitedly, jumping up and down

"beyond the dream show~"

when haechan asked the time where the fans were, she read the comments, squinting funnily at the screen before gasping

"one of the czennies said it was 3am!"

the other boys gasped in shock before clapping slightly

"thank you for watching us even though it's 3am!" rory said to the fans. "but go to bed as soon as this is over~ or whenever you're feeling tired, that's okay too!"

"for our global fans, we prepared something special, right?" haechan said and rory nodded, smiling

"so we prepared our greeting in various languages"

rory's greeting was in french! fans went crazy bc she sounded SO good and her pronounciation was good too

after that she says, "renjun took english from me" in english and playfully glared at the older boy who laughed.

she turned to the fans and said, "but um, wendy-unnie taught me that so .. if it sounds bad it's all her fault." she claps as the other boys laugh

when they were talking about how they felt, rory said "i watched superm and wayv's concerts so i was excited because i knew we'd hear from the fans just like they were here with us in person. they were really loud, too" and laughs

when renjun told them to scream, she hit him lightly and said "yah, don't you remember what i just said? some fans it's 3am there!"

"oh dont scream then," renjun laughed, making her laugh before she went back to waving at the fans as they waved their lightsticks

when the fans appeared behind them, her eyes widened and she immediately ran to the screen, waving in all directions

she noticed when she got close to a fan's screen, they'd start waving their hand/lighstick even harder and it made her laugh

"rory, come back!" jaemin laughed, tugging her with him back to where the other 5 were

"wow, pretty grass" rory mocked mark as she stared at the lightsticks where the audience were supposed to be and on the screens

haechan had to hide a laugh

then there was we go up performance

woo fun

then stronger! she loves that song is2g

okay for the next vcr

she was in a school uniform standing in between jeno and jaemin

"you guys suck," rory laughed, watching the boys try to succeed

when renjun comes over and succeeds in under one minute and one hand, she gasped in shock lightly before watching him walk away coolly and put his head back down on the desk

jaemin nudged her as she laughed, "you guys are just losers!"

and then it ends on her walking over to renjun and bending down to face him and tapping him on the shoulder

he jumps from how close she is and she laughs, grinning at him, "that was cool" before going back over to the boys and he watches her

next video of the vcr oo

she gets hit in the head by the basketball(she's after chenle) and luckily saves it before it falls to the ground and throws it towards the basket, renjun jumping up to hit it in

why is she always getting hit in the head rip rory's head

next performance is dunk shot!!!

she hated the outfits tho jfc

she was wearing white loose shorts that ended midthigh and a pink button up over a white t-shirt

yeah super plain im so sorry rory that the stylists did you dirty like that

(to be fair the boys looked bad too like what was that matching .. there was NONE)

NEXT IS CHEWING GUM!!

AND THERE WERE HOVERBOARDS

SHE MISSED THE HOVERBOARDS SO MUCH

she hyped up jisung so loud during his solo dance

and had a huge ass smile on her face during it

she was in the middle of renjun and chenle at the bottom

AND THEY LEFT A SPACE FOR MARK IN BETWEEN JAEMIN AND JISUNG SHE ALMOST CRIED

"i think chenle changed the most" rory laughed, talking about the difference from now and almost four years ago when they debuted

"you changed a lot, too" chenle poked her and she huffed out a laugh, choosing not to respond to him and shook her head

when it was time for the interactions, she had to hide her wince because since she watched wayv and superm's, she was worried about how it would go because some fans' wifi connections were bad(so were sm's but anyways--)

oh luckily the first fan spoke korean !!

"hi!" she waved excitedly at the fan

when the fan said her name, she quietly repeated it to herself but it was still heard from the mic

"there's a song called 7 days in your album. what do you guys mean to each other?"

rory's mouth went dry at that question as she rubbed her hands together, looking at the boys silently as they ahhed and oohed

she smiled slightly as she saw how big their smiles got at the question

chenle said that the members were his family. they're literally siblings

she laughed at that

hyuck said that the members were apart of himself and that he grew up with all of them

jisung said bc they're older than him, they're like his younger siblings

rory had to look away in order to not laugh at his answer LMFAO

she couldnt contain how big her smile got when jaemin said that he couldn't live without them

she literally almost cried from tears of laughter from jeno's answer "onion"

renjun said that the members are youth to him

and him bringing up the stupid bottle to his face . i s2g she quickly yanked that from him so quick while laughing

and then finally it was her turn

"um, thank you for the question, siyoung!" she clapped slightly before continuing. "to me, the members are .. my childhood" she nodded slightly as she spoke. "we all grew up together so each of them have a piece of my childhood that i dont want to leave"

renjun pulls her into a side hug as jeno says "cute~"

wolfies(rory's stans) cried

when the fan said she'd stick with nct dream seven days a week, she laughed from the sudden overwhelming feeling at her words and bowed towards the fan, keeping her eyes to the ground so the camera wouldn't catch her teary eyes

too bad the camera did once she looked back up

"nct dream have 8 members--" when haechan said that, rory smiled big and nodded her head

"infinity" rory cheered, the members following behind

the next caller was up!

"ooh, poland" rory smiled

the fans question was "what are your biggest dreams" which she translated for them

rory's answer was "i have no doubt that nct dream will stay together forever so ... i my biggest dream is nctzens staying with us forever. even when we all grow up and have our own lives, i hope nctzens will some day think of nct dream and smile"

jaemin literally walked over and pinched her cheek, cooing at how cute she was

rory rolled her eyes playfully but let him

ah yes to this day he's still the only one she'll allow to give her skinship in public

rip other boys

she felt so sad when the third caller's connection was bad

"ah ... difficult technicalities"

she put a thumbs down

anyways next was don't need your love!!!

she LOVES this song so much guys its unreal

her place at the start is right in between renjun and jisung again lmao

shes leaning against chenle and jaemin

she loves hearing the boys' english btw

also in this version she has more lines but im not gonna tell which ones that's too much work

and next is we young!!

watching the part when they take a pic .. made me cry so it made rory very nostalgic

rory's wearing a professional suit but like . with a skirt i forgot what its called rip

she's standing in between hyuck and jeno

when jaemin laughs she laughs

she has that pic in her phone case btw

along with an ot8 pic

when they're talking abt the 50 years later OO im gonna . cry again

"so we can see how we change"

"um, we're gonna look older" rory laughed

btw grandma rory literally still looks good as hell sorry i dont make the rules

rory: "chenle would look like steve jobs but like .. chinese"

chenle was so offended bye

rory: "jisung if you grow a mustache i will never forgive you"

"wHY DOES IT MATTER?????"

"bc you'd look stupid i cant be seen with someone looking stupid"

the other pic where renjun jumps .. her face is literally so genuinely shocked in that pic LMAO she didnt expect that

NEXT IS BEST FRIENDS OH MY GODD I LOVED IT SO DID SHE

SHE JUST WISHED MARK WAS THERE .. AND HE KINDA WAS

btw she was wearing a black blazer but it was shorter .. and another black skirt with a white crop top underneath rip

OKAY HYERI MADE NCTZENS CRY SO HARD

so theyre uneven rn right?

so instead of her being a third wheel(not really)

when it's her part, she's backstage and as she's doing her part, she reached into an open closet and .. pulls out a cutout board of mark :((

yeah she cried too when she thought of it and luckily sm let her!!

at the end of her part towards the end of the song, she smiles and says, "right, mark-oppa?" and forms half a heart up to the camera

(taeyong later sends her a video of mark reacting to her parts and when she does the heart he puts half a heart up next to hers <3)

next is candle light! they dont really have a choreo to this one either

anyway candle light wouldnt have been her first choice bc she'd prefer to perform dear dream .. BUT ANYWAY

next is PUZZLE PIECE and 7 DAYS!!

the camera catches her and jisung doing their little handshake . so cute

she then hugs chenle so he wouldnt feel left out

end posing of puzzle piece, she's in between chenle and jisung AGAIN SLDJDJL

they form a heart with her doing the bottom and chenle and jisung doing the top/sides

when they read the comments after performing jeno reads one that says "rory is so talented, her vocals are so good"

and then hyuck read "rory's parts in best friends was so cute"

she blushes so cute

when they talk abt the album

rory says in english, "thank you for supporting us and we hope you guys enjoyed listening to the album as much as we enjoyed making it .. think of it as our gift to you for always loving us!!" cute baby. and then gives a little finger heart

special guest is mark, jungwoo, and doyoung!!

she expected mark but was surprised about jungwoo and doyoung

she couldnt stop smiling the whole time because literally all she had to do was see 127 and smile immediately like they dont even got to do anything

the technical difficulties .. rory said in english again "i think you need to get your wifi checked, mark"

"no mark-oppa?" he teased and she laughed

when they were complimenting them, jungwoo said that mark really enjoyed rory's parts in best friends and she full out giggled from nervousness, blushing from embarrassment

doyoung complimented her vocals and rap and shes never been so proud of herself

compliments from 127? her greatest achievement

jungwoo then said she was so cute wow more blushing

she found the challenge boring and wouldve preferred if 127 picked the damn challenge themselves bc then it wouldve been funnier and more fun but alas .. sm >:(

she picked puzzle piece tho

THE FUCKING NEXT VCR .. so emotional when she watched over it

she literally just watched her and her friends grow up in literal seconds

there's a clip of her from chewing gum on mark's back while he's riding the hoverboard

.. also somehow they got a clip of her hugging jaemin when he came back sigh

emotional manipulation!! she was kinda pissed that was in there bc it was supposed to be private but what can she do .. it's sm

there's a video of her chasing jeno during we young era while on the mv set

and another one of renjun literally dragging her on the ground because she wouldnt let go of his legs in mfal era

in mfal era she's seen running over chenle when he's out of their little cars

its funny he almost fell if jeno didnt catch him LMAO

but its ok dont fret he was in the grass

mfal era where hyuck tries to make a basket but fails and she steals the ball from him and makes it in .. he pouted FOREVER after that

the video of them in chewing gum era and then goes to ridin' era ..

her clip is her smiling shyly at the camera WITH HER CUTE PIGTAILS OH MYGODDD SO SOFT SO BABY

and then it goes to her in ridin' era with her leaning against the car and a lollipop in her mouth, staring dead straight at the camera somehow intimidatingly

n then ofc the music changes and the videos go more recent

theres clips of her behind the scenes in we young, go, dnyl, and boom

also some of her at that dream show concert

the ridin' stage was prerecorded but anyway she's wearing the same outfit she does in the mv

she saw a clip of the car cg and she yelled at the members jokingly saying it almost ran her over

wearing same outfit for quiet down which was live

they had one more song after :( she was really sad and she made sure nctzens knew that

"i wish we could perform more songs for you guys but .. only one more :(" and then sighed really loudly

"i wish you guys were here in person as well but your health is way more important and until then .. well, hopefully we can see each other again in the future! i miss seeing all your pretty faces" she then pouted as the other members oohed loudly and she laughed

after the other members continue she then reminds them all to "wash their hands and wear their masks over their noses if they have to go out"

when renjun says bonjour her eyes widen and she says "wow, so you stole my english and now my french?" she jokingly raises her hand to hit him but all he does is laughs and grabs her hand to 'stop her'

last is boom!

they shouldve performed dear dream or mfal but i guess booms good too not like they havent had to hear that song for 9 months

anyways

at the end she sneakily gives the camera a finger heart

[gotatext]

                   hllo ! i’m nora ( she / her, 24, gmt ) crawling back to this rp once more like the dirty sewer slug i am !! i just can’t get enough, baybeyyy ! u may remember me frm such roles as alma putnam, rory bergstrom, bridget matusiak or greta o’driscoll 2 name jst a few.... sure there were more over these long years, bt the show must go on.... this is mimi, she’s dogmatic, tenacious n single-minded 2 the point of recklessness, she doesn’t like handouts n she’s funding her degree through her onlyfans account n moaning abt shit on tiktok. we love 2 see it !!  slam that like button n i’ll creep into ur DMs like the slippery worm i am   OR u can discord me at that bitch carole baskin#8664.   a humble pinterest.

『ALEXA DEMIE ❙ CIS-FEMALE 』 ⟿ looks like MIMI MARTÍNEZ is here for HER SOPHOMORE year as an ARCHITECTURE AND SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY student. SHE is 22 years old & known to be STRONG-WILLED, GOAL-ORIENTED, ARROGANT & EASILY BORED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ nora. 24. gmt. she/her.

this is p embarassing but i actually originally wrote mimi for a discord rp based around love island asgjag dont laugh at me but it was so chaotic n someone deleted it w-out telling any of us so i lost her bio.... all her threads....e verythin.... it was mad. but anyway we startin from scratch w this intro so bare with

mimi is a really extra character so when trying to flesh her out i thot of the most extra thing i could do n made a colour coded mindmap with watercolour paints detailing her values, aesthetics and early life. shoot me

background: she grew up in a trailer home in boulder city, abt half an hour from vegas. her mom had worked in a vegas casino for most of her 20s but relocated to boulder city for a slower pace of life / lower crime rate when she started having kids. mimi has 2 older brothers n she’s the youngest. has that invulnerable younger sibling complex n basically thinks nothing can touch her. very confident in her own intelligence and her ability to get shit done 

has mexican ancestry on her mom’s side. doesn’t know her dad. was raised with spanish catholic principals n found it all very stained glass windows and extra n that’s why she was kinda drawn to the decadence of vegas and all these massively high key aesthetics, like dia de les muertos was her fave thing growin up just bcos the pure feel of the festival and painting a sugar skull on her face n being able to party on the streets in a flower crown where everyone was kinda anonymous but together in this celebration

in boulder city her mom worked as a carer as there’s a lot of retirees there. mimi really resented the slow pace of life, longed for some fucking energy n life. she was a cheerleader in school but outside of school there wsn’t much to do except practise stunts and go on bike rides.  occasionally they’d get dressed up and catch a bus to henderson, the next biggest city for them to get tht sweet night life

her teenage years consisted mostly of hanging around the renovated motel blocks used as housing projects n tanning by the pool. very florida project if you’ve seen that. she reminds me a lot of the mum in that. also she started working as an avon rep going door-to-door when she was 16 bcos she wanted to have her own income. like as young as 14 she’d decided she was smart enough to go to college but she didn’t have the money n her family didn’t really see it as a worthwhile thing, her mom was very like the mom from matilda “you chose books.... i chose looks!” which i think is where a lot of mimi’s more shallow / appearance-driven traits come from

wasn’t really ‘cool’ until high school. before that she was a bit of a lisa simpson type. won a spelling bee when she was 9. was in the mathletes squad in middle school. when she went from middle school to high school she started cheer and tried to reinvent herself basically. always been very concerned with social mobility and keen to socially climb, like when she enters a new situation she’ll find out who the alphas are and quickly try n befriend them

when she turned 18 she moved out and went to vegas despite her mom hating the idea bcos it was everything she’d tried to get her kids away from. she worked in the clubs there for several years as a shot girl, a table dancer, n eventually she started workin behind the bar in a strip club. in the club it ws really hard to resist becoming a dancer bcos of the sheer amount they made in tips. no one really pressured her into it she just eventually decided tht it was way more logical to do it while she was young n fit and had the stamina and ppl were willing to pay to see her body so she started taking pole fitness lessons. she also started working as a cam girl around this time

working in vegas strip clubs is basically whats paid for uni. like she didn’t go at 18 like most of her friends did bcos she didn’t have the money and she didn’t want to feel indebted to a college like she had to compete for her place and not put a toe out of line bcos she was on a scholarship. she was determined to pay her own way and it took 4 years of working really hard and saving n even tho she was working in vegas she basically never went out bcos every penny she had needed to go on uni n thts how we get to radcliffe baybeeyy

part 2  - interior / values / personality

values: the aesthetic !! literally loves the aesthetic so much. everything she owns is super embellished, she’s a pop socket gal, her dell laptop is covered in glitzy stickers, she always has acrylics n probs makes nail art videos on tiktok. really tuned into tiny details like painting a little hello kitty above her eye which translates into her degree when she’s doing small-scale mockups of town plans n stuff... she jst puts so much detail into them. ppl often get surprised when she tells them she does architecture but it makes so much sense bcos she grew up in a trailer park n was always thinking about ways the space could be more efficiently used, like she loves re-conceptualising neighbourhoods, definitely spent hours on sims as a kid. she also grew up near hoover dam n so loads of school trips they just took them there n she was like.... this is tight but it could be cooler.... where’s the passion....

massively into photography, has such a neat instagram feed like everything just compliments the tones in the next post like mMMM. idk if any of u know any architecture students but this is literally the one constant i can find…. like they all have super good instagrams feeds. is that bitch that will take 40 fake candids of u in a row at different angles to get u the perfect profile picture cos she understands the importance of marketing urself and having an online #brand

has wire rimmed glasses that she doesn’t need to see BUT they r like a magnifying glass for when she’s working with really small materials to do a mock up of an urban plan, and also just sometimes wears them for the aesthetic bc she’s such a pinterest bitch

assassination nation is such a big mood. literally the aesthetics of that and lily colson’s whole brand of feminism and nudity not being inherently sexual but at the same time wanting to profit off that bcos why the fuck shouldnt she use a corrupt system to her advantage is incredibly mimi

literally a human personification of a bratz doll both in attitude and fashion sense

somehow simultaneously gansey in the raven cycle AND elle woods in legally blonde? the two genders 

values cont bc i started rambling: her independence and freedom. being the best at any given task she sets her mind to accomplish because she is unable to accept failure. social mobility. sexual liberation. interested in the psychology of sub-cultures and how ppl form groups and interact w each other and cult identities which is why she minors in anthropology. pro-choice. pro-weed legalisation. pro-sex worker rights. very activist.

aesthetics tht remind me of her: von dutch. a strappy cami top that says ‘please do not do coke in the bathroom’. low-waisted jeans that show off her belly button piercing. acrylic nails tapping against a heavily embellished second-hand dell laptop. heart shaped sunglasses in every colour. translucent stripper heels with barbie doll heads and plastic spiders in the heel. spraying champagne you cant afford all over the walls. narcotics in a heart shaped locket. an amazon wishlist full of lingerie linked on your tinder profile. sex tapes recorded on VCR. a religious devotion to waxing clinics. necking shots like you were born to do it.

she’s an enfj type which makes her pretty charismatic and confidence, like she has a fierce kind of energy to her, but she’s also super unwilling to accept criticism, dogmatic and can only really see her own way of thinking, quite ruthless when it comes 2 other ppls emotions despite having a poor control of her own and being prone to turbulence / throwin a bitch fit in the craft lab. easily bored. competitive. self-assured to the point of arrogance. forceful. adaptable. usually more rational than emotional but occasionally loses the ability to make rational decisions when blinded by a need for perfectionism.

very goal-oriented. money motivates her. money and clothes. she wants to look bomb while earning big bucks. when she gets her mind set on a project it literally consumes her she will forget to eat and sleep? i don’t know her.  like when a final design project is due for architecture she’ll be up all night doing adderall and speed to keep her awake working on the placement of a single tree for ages cos its gotta be perfect

loves chaos. will spill your secrets and pretend it was an accident. will always be that gif of kim kardashian sipping her tea while drama unfolds around her. lives for the drama like that gifset of bratz when she comes running and gets her phone out to record a fight.

im makin her sound like a really bad person but hopefully she’ll be somewhat likeable she can be very charismatic and endearing and she’s naturally quite funny. also now she’s finally in college and doesn’t have to worry so much about money she actually allows herself to party n bcos she denied herself of it for so long she kinda makes up for it by going p wild like will be the girl climbing on to stage to crowd surf at gigs or doing a summersault off the bar and being escorted out by bouncers, thats the energy were looking at, pure dionysian hedonistic impulse

really gd at talking her way out of shit like parking fines. so good at being an ‘im baby’ girl and often dumbs herself down to figures of authority to appear less like a threatening ball-breaker and more like a confused fiat 500 girl who didn’t know red meant stop she thought it meant slow down

listens almost exclusively to female artists. has fergalicious on repeat when she does squats infront of the mirror n just the biggest fergie stan. also lana del rey’s whole vibe is massive mimi energy

ok ya thats all i have for now..... hopefully this is somewhat coherent and not just garbage.

[theodej]

so uhh here’s the prologue! (tw for mostly implied torture)

i’ve got a bunch of notes and a few other chapters drafted so, hopefully, this will be going somewhere. full prologue is also available under the cut.

…also i’m sorry in advance about the chat. i think i was possessed by a gaggle of teenage boys

The stream would start at exactly 1 AM.

RIPME: i mean yea its been busy lately, but ill get trhough it camaraJM: idk but he didn’t say anything to me 69cumslut69: you think he’s finally gonna off the fucking furry KillerxQueen: What do you do

A message announcing the stream was posted nearly an entire day in advance. It was a rare sight, and it garnered appropriate attention.

iammeisheissheis: fuck off cass RIPME: program B1GDADDYS: GOD I hope so fuckwatt: He’s a programer. RIPME: yea

There were around a thousand of them, many of which tuned in a few hours early. He wasn’t exactly known for his punctuality, but it wasn’t his fault; people were hard to work with, after all. Most viewers were understanding. A lot of them kept the webpage open in another tab in case of any spontaneous shows.

woundfucker88: did I miss it? RIPME: i work for a big company tho so i work a lot of over time 69cumslut69: corporate scum camaraJM: same

But this one had been announced, and that usually meant something big was happening.

JohhnyDanger: I’m still thinking about that last one I’m not fucking ready for this week’s. he was special RIPME: wound no you’re good KillerxQueen: That’s pretty cool man, I used to program in highschool but Inever had the patience for it 69cumslut69: eat SHIT RIPME: oh yea! 69cumslut69: i can say what i want

He made sure to come back from the bar early. It always took a bit to set up the tripod, and he wanted it to be special. No need to keep them waiting.

When the feed started, the masked man took up the entire shot.

“Hiya! Welcome back to the shop, everyone!” Even with his face covered, you could hear the grin in his voice.

KillerxQueen: Christ he’s actually on time lieblingg: FUCK MY ASS DADDY lieblingg: KIDNAP ME woundfucker88: hello! 69cumslut69: wtf is this lieblingg: 1628 THIRD STREET

His eyes were wide, bright and focused on something behind the camera. “Wow! What a turnout! Is everyone excited?”

RIPME: ffs i was getting a drink lieblingg: MY LOCKS DONT WORK

He settles into a chair and angles the camera down with him, as if he’s the show for tonight. “Well, let’s get straight to it! I wanted to give you a little heads up. Things are gonna be a little… different for a while.”

asfkjfsah: TAKE OFF THE FUCKING MASK

“See, we’ve got a special request for someone’s special someone! Call it an early Valentine’s Day gift.”

69cumslut69: im fucking triggered lieblingg: PLEASE B1GDADDYS: It’s fuckking november

He chuckles. “Oh, you’re right! Then in the spirit of giving, I’ve decided to indulge them! Plus, they already put their money where their mouth is. Bahah!”

KillerxQueen: Anyone else getting shitty fps fuckwatt: Since when does he take comissions? woundfucker88: ooh! this sounds fun asfkjfsah: YOURE FUCKING DEAD, DO YOU HEAR ME? I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. I ALREADY CONTACTED THE AUTHORITYS BUT IM COMING TO RIP YOUR FUCKING THROAT OUT MY GODDAM SELF

“So, stay tuned! I know it might be a little slower than you’re used to…”

RIPME: dae see that? MAGGOTFLY: I’m fucking late woundfucker88: what

“…but it’ll be worth it. Promise!”

camaraJM: something moved.Behind him MAGGOTFLY: What did I miss? asfkjfsah: YOU KILLED MY FUCKING BROTHER camaraJM: watch hes gonna start selling feet pics xD

He sat there for a while, just reading chat as it flicked by. In the silence, something groaned quietly behind him.

KillerxQueen: BUFFERING KillerxQueen: FUCK JohhnyDanger: Wait. Is this it? asfkjfsah: ANWSER ME YOU SPINELESS CUNT

He finally broke the silence with a full belly laugh. “Is this it? Of course not! I wouldn’t do that to you!” His eyebrows scrunched together as if hurt at the very thought. Then he stood. He pulled his chair out of the shot, revealing a pair of bound feet barely sticking into the frame.

“I picked something up for ya on the way home!”

69cumslut69: FEET KillerxQueen: Thank GOD videos back

A low moan gave way to a shrill screech as they were dragged towards the camera, a mess of greasy locks and dripping tears.

69cumslut69: FEET FEET camaraJM: TOLD YOU LMFAO KillerxQueen: Did I miss anything

A hand yanked them up by the hair, forcing them to look into the camera lens, and they freeze. Tears are running down their cheeks, soaking through the gag in their mouth. Their eyes flit between the lens and something offscreen.

RIPME: OOH woundfucker88: oh they’re cute!! 69cumslut69: WELCOME TO THE FUCKHOUSE LOSER B1GDADDYS: JESUS CHrist another crybaby?

His hand ripped the gag out from their mouth, but their mouth hung open all the same.

“Awh… No need to be shy! Come on. Say hi!”

fuckwatt: No way this cunt lasts JohhnyDanger: Get your popcorn ready.

He chuckles heartily. “Suit yourself. This night’s dedicated to you all! So! Any requests?”

When they finally opened their mouth, they started screaming and never stopped.

[faresramettas]

160219: skam italia x gay center event (part 1)

it’s going to be really hard for me to recap everything that happened yesterday, so i’m going to split this in two parts: one dedicated to the conference and one to the moment when we actually met them and took pictures etc. i’m sure all the things i’m going to report were already said yesterday in tweets and stuff but i wanted to have a place to write them all down cause my memory is so bad. warning: this got long.

the conference 

first of all, kudos to the gay center’s staff. so many people came they couldn’t fit them all in the conference room, so they decided to have a second shorter session so that no one would go home disappointed. they also said that afterwards we’d be able to take selfies and meet pietro, rocco and federico

spoiler alert: pietro, rocco and federico are literal angels. so sweet, funny, honest, humble, intelligent and well-spoken. ludovico bessegato is confident, smart and a savage. he dragged the whole fandom and yet we still love him cause he’s a genius

as soon as ludovico stepped on stage he made it clear that this was not an event about skam only and to please respect that. he said that they wouldn’t talk about season 3 and not to ask about it, and that’s why no info came out

the conference started with a presentation of the gay center. their representative introduced the work they do with the gay help line and talked about really heartbreaking cases of lgbt youth (12 and 14 year olds) who called to report violence from their own families. it was really hard to hear. they showed statistics of discrimination in italy and other data. their point was that skam s2 shows a positive reality where martino is able to come out to his friends and live his truth and his love, but unfortunately we have to be aware that these terrible realities exist too, especially in this country

the skam section started with a question to ludovico about his choice to include the voice messages in the first scene of s2. we watched that scene. he said he knew he wanted to do it from the start but recording and adding the voice messages was the last thing they did, one week before the release of the first clip. he came to the gay center in rome and met the young people and recorded the messages with them (i’m sorry, i’m not sure this is accurate) and he was moved to tears. that’s when he realized how important what they were doing with this season was. he said it was important for him, before showing the easiness of two people who can be together without external hardships, to start the season with the voice messages, as a reminder that these realities also exist

the host asked what was the most important thing for him, what he felt more responsible showing, and ludovico said for him it was the reaction of a group of heterosexual friends to one of their friends coming out. without dramatizing it or simplifying it too much. so the coming out with gio was the hardest scene cause there was a lot of weight on it. giovanni also had to be worthy of the moment. i loved this part: he said for him it was fundamental that giovanni touched martino right after his coming out, because it shows that nothing has changed between them, that they can still have a physical friendship, because so many times this doesn’t happen, straight friends pull back from/become less physical with their gay friends. their friendship not only hasn’t changed but is made more precious now

ludovico researched stuff like the gay street and grindr by experimenting them himself. he went to the gay street in rome and had a mission to get hit on (and he was lmao) and who did he meet that night? ROCCO, who went to the audition the morning after! incredible, he said he didn’t know rocco’s sexual orientation or anything but because he had seen him at the gay street he knew he could help give his input to the series, and of course pietro was precious as well to help with the representation

we watched the coming out scene and it was federico’s turn for questions (you could hear he had a cold, bb), the host asked him about how he felt/prepared for it and he said he felt a lot of pressure but he basically let martino lead him, he trusted his character that he had worked so hard on day after day and he also leaned on ludovico tersigni and bessegato. he hopes as many people as possible can relate to that scene, see themselves in it and live it

federico said the series enlighted him and made him reflect on lgbt themes and problems. he was never one to use homophobic slurs to follow the logic of the “pack” but it’s a thing, when you’re 15 or 16 you think you have to conform to what your friends say and do even if it’s harmful but this is why we have to spread awareness (”bisogna evitare il grigiume dell’uniformità” - we have to avoid the greyness of uniformity, he’s such a poet)

special mention to federico’s beautiful sweater, apparently he bought it in oslo, that sweater made his shoulders look even broader and it’s my new religion 

we watched the milan uramaki/wedding proposal scene and BITCH I HAD NEVER REWATCHED THAT PART CAUSE IT HURTS i swear we were all holding our breaths. that’s when the host asked rocco about gay marriage and he said italy is very late but at least we have civil unions now and it’s been hard fought for. it’s important to talk about gay marriage not so much for younger gens but for older generations. discriminations are always present so you can’t relax even when you reach a goal, you have to fight for the next one

when asked how he pictures his wedding, rocco said marriage is very far in the future for him, but whoever it’s going to be with his wedding is going to be very normal (”everyone naked is not a bad idea tho”) and y’all already know this part, he said he’s a person who’s experimented a lot and he HATES LABELS, for himself and for others (so maybe don’t call him pan king, u know what i’m saying). he’s experimented a lot and tried to figure out what he likes and he likes a little bit of everything (ME PIACE NPO DE TUTTO. i was there. i was there when he said that. iconic) he understands the need for labels cause they can help you identify yourself and give a sense of belonging but there’s also the risk that they can be too limiting

we watched fili’s speech and fede blew a kiss to pietro??? my heart

EMMA STA A ROSICA’ - cit pietro turano (emma is jealous af)

at this point besse DRAGGED US TO HELL AND BACK he said the fandom gets mad at emma and when characters say things that are wrong but it’s hypocritical (cause it’s a realistic show, no?)

he dragged the tumblr sjw politically correctness of fandom and something about how we all say we accept and love everyone but then WE are the first who feel the need to put labels on people and people in boxes. he said IT’S COOL TO HAVE NOORA’S QUOTE IN YOUR BIOS BUT DO ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY STICK TO ITS MEANING? YOU’RE THE FIRST WHO AREN’T KIND smth like that i swear i was a bit stunned

he also really didn’t like how everyone spoiled scenes and clips, ruining the experience for everyone while also creating false expectations, cause we expect things to happen and get mad if they don’t (ngl as a person who hasn’t watched the og i was like yeah tell em). idk, basically at the end of the speech all i got is that he’s an emma apologist

pietro said so many amazing things, like that when we have that moment of awareness, when we realize we are victims of behavioral schemes, prejudices and stereotypes deeply rooted in society, that’s when we can change the world. idk he’s seriously such a well-spoken smart person and he’s only 22

he also said in a video i have posted here that positive lgbt representations in tv shows/films are SO important for young people cause they need to see that there’s a positive reality out there for them too, that gay characters aren’t only the psychos, the ones who kill themselves or suffer

host dragged ludo for not including a beyonce song in the gay season but he said we can expect satisfactions from fili in s3

fede took the gay test and ludo told him the answers to get the totally hetero results, but when ludo took the test his result was Not totally hetero

rocco knows he looks like edward cullen, actually it was his first girlfriend when he was like 14 and before twilight was a thing that told him that he looked like cedric diggory aka rob pattinson. when twilight happened it all went downhill. the vampire outfit in the halloween clip was Not Casual. actually they had a line when someone told nico he looked like edward but it didn’t make the cut

fede said the hardest scenes, not because he couldn’t get in character but because of the expectations and pressures were the ones with mamma rametta (<333) and the coming out with gio. but the scene he hated the most was the i wanna be yours scene cause he said he went cross-eyed (è venuta di merda - it came out like shit)

host asked who’s top and bottom and they all laughed about it don’t worry (although i know someone asked again in the second session? and they said they switch idk, whatever)

at the end there was not a lot of time for questions but as soon as the host asked if we had any i IMMEDIATELY shot my hand up cause i thought i would regret it if i didn’t ask. so i stood up and pietro came to give me the mic (<33333333) and I WAS SO NERVOUS but i thanked them for all their work and then i asked rocco how he felt representing a character that’s not only lgbt but suffers from a mi, that he did a WONDERFUL job doing it because he helped so many people who suffer from bpd/mi to identify with niccolò (i accidentally said multiple personality disorder instead of borderline and i am so embarrassed but i swear. i couldn’t. think. i apologized too) if he felt he had more responsibility and if he could talk about the milan scene. he said he did feel a double responsibility and an additional pressure because henrik holm already did a splendid job, but he dealt with it like any other role, worked on the character like any other and tried to do it justice. he didn’t treat it differently. the milan scene was hard cause it was the very last one they did but they also had so much fun. he told us about bessegato pranking him and making him yell TABBBBASCOOOOO when he was running around naked in milan

i feel like i should mention that in the second session rocco said federico is a really good kisser (”bacia da dio” literally means “kisses like a god”)

that’s all i have and sorry this was so long. the conference was truly incredible. but meeting them afterwards was even more so and that’ll be part 2

[nosferatyou]

I was tagged by @lazingonsunday and @shes-outta-sight to do one of the long tag, get to know them, type of things. Which I absolutely love by the way. I don’t talk about myself much.

What was the last thing you read?

Well I was editing the latest chapter of my fic of that counts? If not some random josh one shot a couple hours ago lol.

Favorite Movie?

Man it’s ever revolving. It was Django Unchained for a long ass time, but now I think it’s Baby Driver.

Favorite Book?

Misery by Stephen King. I read it years ago and I have a lot of good memories tied to it. Me and my friend became closer through his works and this was the first one I read. It’ll stay close in my heart.

Dream Date?

It’s one I’ve been on before but just Vinyl Shopping. It’s simple and easy but music in a relationship is important to me. I gotta make sure they have good picks. But there is something so soft about it all.

Do you have a crush?

Sadly no. But I’m fully in Joshes lane rn if that means anything?

What are your hobbies?

Oof okay. I mostly draw like all hours of the day. But I very actively keep up with guitar and bass. I write as well. I make videos for my friends. I collect old and beat up vinyls. Lot of art stuff

Favorite time of day?

Night time. Like from hours 10-3. That’s my true alone time and it’s something I cherish and look forward to everyday.

If you could look like anything, what would you like to look like?

I don’t wish to change anything about my body. I think I’d be silly to. But man I wish I could actually afford clothes I’d like to wear. Real bellbottoms you know? I want that vintage shit.

Are you romantic?

In a secure relationship yes. I show too much emotion too fast in the beginning. But boy oh boy when I get romantic. I get very touchy feely. Man date ideas. Lot of carefully curated playlists.

Favorite type of weather?

That time in like August/September when I can wear jeans and maybe a light jacket. But it’s still warm, you know?

What do you like talking about?

Music. I talk about it all day long. The foundation behind it. The artist. I could discuss guitars and instruments with people all damn day. I just. I love everything about it. But also GVF is my hyperfixation rn and my friend is ready to shoot my head off if I speak another word about Jakes guitar playing.

What are your turn ons?

Ngl I’m akin to a boy with long hair. It’s my vice. I’ve only dated long haired musicians. But I just want someone who radiates some kind of light you know? I’ve seen too much darkness. I want someone genuine and real. Is it too much to ask for a positive person?

What are your turn offs?

I’ve dealt with a lot in my past. Basically anything that’s negative. Ignorance mostly. I don’t want someone who refuses to learn. It’s stupid. I just want honesty and someone with an open mind. Anything else is a no go.

If you got a tattoo what would it be and where would you get it?

Okay so. I really want tattoos. I designed something about a year ago I want really badly but it’s so expensive. Thinking rationally. Right now I’d really like some line art of bust. Idk what tho.

Do you have any pets?

3! 2 dogs, Ruby and Nellie, both too six year old mutts. Nellie is the weirdest god damn dog I’ve ever had. And ruby is basically a fox dog. And then there is Friday my cat. He can be a bitch boy but he’s a sweet boy who’s just being a cat. (I also have ten plants but most people don’t consider them pets)

Dream Job?

I’m still searching for that. Recently my heads been floating towards playing live shows as a guitar or bass player. But I’m no where near the point of even considering. I’m pretty shitty. But how Cool would it be to play that violin bow with my guitar on stage?

Dream place to live?

Not considering any potential jobs. I just want to live in a big log cabin somewhere on the outskirts of a town. Out in the wilderness and free to just live.

Dream vacation?

I’ve never been to Europe. I’d love to just road trip around in a van honestly. But before that visit my great grandfather grave in Scotland. He was a kings hand and did a lot back in the day. I’d be cool to see. But then I’d fuck around in Europe.

Do you have any piercings?

I’ve got my nose and ears pierced. I’m pretty happy with that

If you had kids what would you name them?

Man I don’t even want to think about that.

What are your best traits?

I’m a great listener. I’m extremely compassionate. Will do anything to help friends. And I feel like my music taste isn’t half bad.

Worst traits?

The compassionate thing tends to bite me in the ass. I’ve got a lot of emotions. I also have 20 things I want to do all at once all the time. I loose sleep because of it. There is more but I’d go on too long.

Worst fear?

Weirdly enough any type of natural disaster. When I was way too young I watched “The Impossible” and then shortly after learned about techtonic plates and I never forgotten about it or where they are.

What do you want to eat right now?

Brownies. And a fucking burrito.

Best vacation you’ve been on?

I went on a road trip to Chicago recently and I just makes so many good memories. I saw ninja sex party’s 10th anniversary, which was fantastic. But I got to visit a friend all weekend. But my favorite part was the ride back. The whole time we just talked but also sang to old 50s songs and just had this moment of unity. I still think about it

Favorite City?

I haven’t been to too many places yet so I’m gonna go with my hometown, Nashville. If you look past all the tourists. It’s got a very rich musical history and in certain places you just feel it. I loved living there and it made me who I was.

Favorite social media platform?

Tumblr. It’s really the only one I ever check anymore. Plus I’ve made some great friends on here.

Favorite article of clothing?

My fucking bellbottoms. I wear them whenever I can. They give me so much confidence.

Do you play any sports?

Fuck no. I have no coordination whatsoever.

Favorite meal of the day?

Lunch. You have a lot more options. Plus I just like the vibe

What are you excited for?

Starting the tenth I have a lot of good things coming my way. In that week I get to finally end this semester, the new Harry styles album releases, I get a new bass, and I get to see fucking Greta Van Fleet. None of you know how excited I am for that. Pit tickets. Jesus it’ll be good.

Not excited for?

Finals. And an um.. upcoming funeral.

When was the last time you cried?

I honestly can’t remeber and that really scares me.

Dream house?

I basically answered this earlier but gimme that big ass log cabin.

Something you hate about this world?

Don’t get my started. I hate that everyone hates themselves all the time when they have no reason to. I hate that 8 people have most of the worlds money and are doing nothing to help global warming. I hate the man that’s in power and what he’s helped cause. I hate everyone who refuses to accept literally any fact. I hate that my future is bleak because of some old ass white men.

Something you love about this world?

I love the light that radiates off of certain people. I love that our generation has hope and that some people are actually trying to make change. I love the raw creativity I see in others and I love that we are bringing back the resurgence of peace and love.

What scents do you like?

Old records and books. Its the simple pleasures.

What kind of sleeper are you?

Typically heavy but sometimes I Sleep so little it feels like I got nothing at all.

Cat or dog person?

Don’t make me pick! I grew up with both, and very partial to both.

How long would you survive in a zombie Apocolypse?

I wish I could tell you. I’d like to think I’d live awhile but I would probably be the ones who look like they have hope and then accidentally get taken out.

Are you trusting?

I used to be. I realized recently how thick my walls really are.

What fictional character do you identify with?

Sorry to be boring but nothing is coming to mind. But then again I never felt akin to anyone really?

What labels do you commonly get?

In high school I was called “the quiet one” if that tells you anything.

What song would be your life anthem?

Sunshine on my shoulders by John Denver is the only one coming to mind. I think I just want the feeling it gives me to be what I feel all the time.

What issues are you dealing with right now?

Two friends in the last month Um. Took their own lives. One being an old friend. I’ve never dealt with death. My brain doesn’t know how to handle it. I also think I might have ADD. But. That’s the tip of the iceberg rn

How can someone win you over?

Typically I’m drawn to people who are the loudest in the room. I like that their confident and can speak their minds but what wins me over about them is when they really open up. When I learn about the real then rather than the face that they put on. Most of the time it goes that way.

What’s something people don’t know about you?

I’m making a short film with some friends who go to Columbia. Should be out soonish.

I tag

@pvre-mourning @peacelovekiszka @fretavangleet @aint-no-denying @sosozoso

[bodega-daydream]

November 22, 2019

It started out as kind of a nice dream. I was in a class and in the class there was an assignment to bake the best pie, and the old man teacher would rate them. I had a pie but for some reason didnt think its was worth having him rate it even though it looked pretty good. Finally at the end I was made the snap decision to have him rate my pie, but I had apparently blended it up into this really sugary red slushy drink. He tasted it anyway but couldnt really rate it because he couldnt see the crust. fine, whatever. I was then talking to people from school when Josh from BP came up and said that he, Tony, and two other BP workers were going to be on 8 out of 10 Cats and I was sooo excited to know someone who would be on the show for me to watch. Cut to later- I'm at the lake down the street from my house. I was looking through videos on my laptop and was showing Michael to see if he remembered them. Undetermined, but they involved me with shorter hair and a GIANT frog. I think this was based off my frog stuffed animal, but it was real in this video and I had taken him to the lake for a swim. I had had him for years and wondered how long he'd last and then the frog was like I haven't laid my egg yet so pretty much he couldnt die until he laid his one giant egg? whatever. Then I was cold and on the sand and I think we were heading back up to my house. It was dusk. We heard a scream from the neighboring property. There were already a few people over there that seemed to be looking for the source. It sounded like a little girl. I shouted to ask if anyone needed help. But they couldn't find anything. Toward to the top of the beach now, and at night, we saw a bunch of children in this fenced in area. IRL This woman is a swim coach, so it wouldn't be insane for her to have kids at her house, so in the dream, I didn't think anything of this. Yet. The longer you observed the kids, they were kind of running wild in this fenced in area. Then I noticed that one of the kids has smashed his head on a rock and his head was covered in blood. But I think it was suspicious circumstances because the cop lights were flashing in the background through the trees. Though no medical help was there yet. Starting that moment, I had been hanging out with Lewis who showed his EMT badge while walking over. I saw through all of the mess him trying to help out a different kid (for some reason no the kid with the giant hole in his head from the rock lol) but he didn't have any of his supplies with him (because we was just hangin out). At this, I ran over because I had a bunch of stuff that could help. Apparently I just keep a very make shift first aid kit on my person. Though when I got over there, this one kid we were helping looked absolutely fine but apparently had these invisible type of burning sensation on his cheeks. I looked into my bag but it was like kind of useless lol had a small bottle of tea tree oil and some other random stuff. I knew what kind of pain the kid was dealing with though. Lewis gave him something and I told him that I understood and that the best thing to do was to just take a cold hand (bc mine are always cold) and just hold it against it and feel the pain until it stops hurting, because it won't last that long. We then walked away and went back to the police station where I was apparently a detective there. This station was also the house across the street from the lake. Daytime now. One of my detective colleagues was this man who looked like John Krasinski meaning it actually was him, but not him. There were some kids outside (outside was now a city street) being lined up as witnesses or something. The other detective there, a woman, was taking statements from the kids. But then I overheard her make this plot to frame my John Krasinski coworker. I tried to warn him without giving away who was trying to frame him and he help trying to insist on telling his partner, this woman. I was like dude. no. and he wouldn't listen. The kids started walking through and that kid I had helped passed by and gave me this look. Then someone else came in and sort of yelled at me for encouraging his growing sexual love for buses lmao said I was too accepting and that I should have discouraged it from the beginning. My argument was so what, he loves to love buses. Anyway, I was trying to tell John Krasinski about the plot and then I was walking away and he grabbed my wrist. But then the other woman came over instead of letting go, we hid the fact that he was holding my wrist behind my back which also looked suspicious. Then there was another line up of kids outside. They had turned around and this one kid was looking up at us and was like I want to talk to her. I assumed he was pointing to the woman he had spoken to before, which was the 3rd detective. But when he came inside, he wanted to talk to me. I was surprised, but then it was the kid that kind of confessed to lying to the other cop about how the evidence she gave him (to frame John Krasinski) was a lie. But dude, the truth was like 20x worse. Instead of some tiny piece of metal sticking him from inside some box, he admitted that it was actually just part of this bracelet he was wearing. I asked to see the bracelet but it had no metal sticking out of it. Then he was like no, it's part of me. and then this series of spikes that had been implanted in his wrist stuck out through his skin like barbed wire. At this I was like nope! and took a step back. His father came rushing in but he had the same thing going on in his wrist. They could control when the spikes would come out. We learned that they were both extremely violent. The dad was bad, but the kid looked like he would be much worse because he was learning it all from his dad. I didn't want to be near this kid anymore because he seemed to fixate on my fear, as if he would come and find me one day to hurt me. I wouldn't look at him. The wife showed up and she was drunk because she was usually being abused by her husband. I think we let them all go because we couldn't do anything about the situation because she wouldn't accuse her husband of anything. Cut to me going to the live taping of 8 out of 10 cats starring my BP coworkers. Instead of sitting in the studio, there was a ton of outside seating that faced the studio that had large screens on it that was displaying what was being filmed. It opened with Kate McKinnan so this was apparently SNL instead lol but whatever. I was sitting out there in what seemed like stadium pews. The place was decorated in vines and leaves, kind of medieval. A lot of people were moving around the pews, but I had a large space open next to me. The drunk mom came and sat next to me. It made me so nervous because I didn't want to deal with an intoxicated person, but also her husband must be around. The show goes on and she gets up and walks to the doorway to enter the stadium. I somehow acquire this little girl that's sitting on my lap, maybe 7 years old. Turns out this is the daughter of the drunk woman. I'm very protective of this child for some reason. The mom and the husband are doing this weird princess knight act idk, I just know it's happening but I'm more focused on the crowd. Some tiny elderly people come and sit next to me and are asking about this girl (rightfully assume she's not mine bc this girl is blonde). Cut of after this performance, and I'm with/kind of am this woman. I'm on a bus and I'm heading to this beach area. I'm trying to get away from this crazy husband of mine. There was some floaties put out in the water and it was like yes, she's finally getting away. But then I'm like...no this is too easy, and I dive down underwater and I see this man with all of his evil friends waiting there to grab her. She manages to swim away. She's running and running trying to get away. They had this evil dog that was kind of also the husband and kept barking and biting her trying to alert him to where she was. Somehow we got the dog off and jumped onto one of those mini school buses (I'm with her now). There's only one seat and she takes it with her daughter on her lap and we tell the bus driver to gtfo of here. He knows the situation, and drives off. I'm sitting on the floor and looking out the window. Both me and her are in white spa robes, not significant, just random. There's this sense of relief as we're driving off. The dog had kind of handed me this piece of metal and I gave it to her. This apparently meant something as she looked at me and she was like "he really did love me." as in he let her go despite not being able to control his violent nature (even tho it was way worse than that). The mini bus pulls up to the back parking lots of the woodbury commons. We think we're safe until I see this man running a hot dog stand taking pictures of the bus we're in. The bus driver had pulled over and got out of the bus but then I yelled wait, we're not safe here and then her husband pops out from behind something and starts coming for us. The bus is moving and I think this dude some how offs the driver. The woman gets up and goes to the door of this still moving bus and shoots her husband in the head. I'm am #shook. I did not know she was going to do that with such ease or that she even had a gun. I took control of the bus because there was chaos now because she just shot someone and cars were appearing out of nowhere. I was like, flooring it and I was like OKAY I'm taking us straight to the police station. I was way more affected than this lady. Realizing now this was not a great decision and that we should have stayed put, we got pulled over at her parents house. We couldn't exit the bus without being processed by a cop (I was a normal person now, not a detective). I was instructed to head straight to the Montgomery police station to pay a $250 bail (I know, doesnt make sense) but I was compliant. I had to get there. I thought about calling Lewis to help me with the bail because I knew he would, but then realized I had that cash on my person and that I could just go over there and pay it myself. As I was walking toward the kitchen to get my stuff, I realized that I shouldn't be driving because I just went thru a trauma that hadn't hit me yet. I decided it was best to call Lewis after all and have him pick me up so I could freak out in the car and not be driving. But as I was going through my phone to find his contact, I noticed this woman's 3 sisters trying to slyly take pictures of me, just like the hot dog man and I started freaking out. And then my phone was going crazy, receiving every photo they took of me instantly. They didn't know what was happening and I was checking their phones and someone had set that to default and my phone was going crazy. I couldn't get to the call screen. I knew someone had bugged these phones so they could locate me or get my info. I decided to use someone elses phone to call Lewis. The mom was looking through the phonebook for his number when I was like Lewis can I just borrow your phone, you already have the number in it (only realized this flaw when I woke up lol) but I made the call and he answered. He had just said, "Hello?" when I heard the husbands voice in the background saying that he was a police officer to someone. And then I woke up, and I couldn't tell where I was for bit or if I was safe.

[zensjagi]

holy shit i just woke up from the worst nightmare, like it wasn t THAT scary but the feeling it gave me was terrifying

it’s 1:38am

i dreamed that i was hanging out with zen from mystic messenger but something felt a bit off and one of my friends (B) was with me and it was like i couldn’t talk or move my mouth properly and B said haha it’s like you’ve been drugged and i was like lol but then i was talking to zen and he wasn’t acting right and suddenly things got blurry and i was opening my eyes and someone was grabbing my jaw and holding it shut whispering shhh, shh.... and i was in a different room and it turns out someone WAS drugging me and had kidnapped me and none of that was real and they just pushed me back into the drug induced dream

then suddenly someone was shaking me and yelling my name and i sluggishly woke up and the real zen was there and he protected me from my kidnapper, there was a brawl and zen started losing but i threw in a cross, a head kick and a knee and managed to get him out and knock out my kidnapper (who it turned out was in love with me abd was keeping me drugged up so i couldn’t leave him) and then zen hugged me and i cling onto his arm and he held my hand and he was so warm and comforting and observant

and suddenly i was back home and it was 2am but i felt like going for a walk so i took my laptop and walked down the street and i was just chillin using my laptop but i accidentally dropped it and the ground it fell onto was like knee high gravel and it sunk inside and broke (the screen came off and the back came off but it was still connected by wires so everything still worked) (not relevant but i was watching a minecraft music video when it happened ??)

so i picked it up and looked and i could fix it but i needed a screwdriver so i went home to get one but as i was leaving i saw a woman and her two young children and we started talking and she walked me home bc she thought she saw someone staring at me and wanted to help so she and her kids hung out in my dining room while i found a screwdriver and i let them look through my pokémon cards and it was really hard to talk cos i was chewing gum and there was so much it kept sticking my teeth and lips together. but i explained to her that i was going thru my old school stuff cos i graduated last year hence why the pokémon cards were out (i let the kids pick a few to keep) and the woman laughed and said she remembered going thru her school stuff as well and called me disorganised for not doing it sooner (jokingly tho, also irl i have gone thru it like last year so idk where that came from lol)

anyway then we all went back down the street but my dad was till awake and piss drunk (he’s an alcoholic) and i watched as he fell down some concrete steps and tumble down a hill and there was a really loud crash and i asked if he was okay and he said yeah but then i fell too but landed on lots of foam and hay and called out for him to help but his voice sounded really scary so i said never mind and climbed back up

the woman left so i grabbed my laptop to bring back to the house

in my room was a girl maybe 14? and she was apparently my younger sister (irl i’m an only child). she looked kinda like a young ariana grande, like disney channel days

anyway i needed to keep the cat in my room and my sister was being a dick and not letting me close the door but eventually got out of my room and i was like bitch if you wanted to come out u could’ve told me i just needed the cat to stay in the room and she was like “oh” and left

and my other friend (C) arrived and was like lol let’s have some shots of vodka and i was like a. you’re driving soon and b. i have to be up in a couple hours to drive to muay thai so no then she disappeared and was replaced by B and suddenly i felt like i was drugged again but ignored it

then i realised i left my phone down the street so B went with me to go get it and it turned out my dad had been kidnapped. and even though i’d brought my laptop inside it was suddenly outside again and there was a lantern (like an LED one) that i needed to bring in as well so my hands were kinda full

but then B was like hey leah? we need to go

and i was like why

turned out there was a lady (maybe 40-50yo) who was an ex-marine who had a lawn chair set up in her driveway and was staring creepily at us and nodding for us to come closer

B walked a bit too far ahead from me and the woman got up and walked towards me saying “one of you come here :)” and u screamed for B but she didn’t hear me and the lady laughed and said “don’t be afraid pussycat” and i was getting major rapey vibes so i tried to run but i kept fumbling my laptop which was apparently very important that i brought back home

and then it was insinuated that she kidnapped me and the story became a loop to the beginning, or maybe i was drugged still the whole time and only thought zen rescued me earlier as a part of being drugged, the dream wasn’t totally clear

but yeah that was the nightmare i literally just woke up from i’m going back to sleep now if anyone wants to analyse it pls do and hmu lmao goodnight

[saportuh]

ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT 

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao