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#i will be posting more later but there were so many i didnt want to make an endless post
yarrowleef · 1 year
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as this continues to be relevant yeah idk I just think this whole RiverClan nonsense conflict would have been less annoying for me to read if RiverClan had actually descended into true chaos. a situation like Redscar’s field guide story where several cats try to claim authority. but in this case, it goes beyond just two cats fighting and the clan starts splitting into mini factions supporting one self-appointed candidate or the other. the problem being presented as “we all forgot how to do chores without a teacher permission slip :(” is so weird and lame. give me blood shed eat each other alive so i believe your plight ffs!!! 
#warrior cats#asc#yarrow speaks#a starless clan#warrior cats sky#warrior cats shadow#wc criticism#uh i dont think this is spoilers? its the same as last book#sorry i take back that old post saying i didnt want to read about RiverClan brushing off Mothwings authority in this situation#turns out they really SHOULD have so that this plot would make more sense#bc as it stands i cant comprhend why she was unable to just point at Literally Anyone and ask them to organize some patrols for the day.#thats not appointing a leader its Just Doing Chores. switch off who does it every day who cares but how is it this much of a problem#i cant engage with this conflict at all with how its presented#idk first they said some senior warriors were *quietly and passively* gesturing to Frostpaw that they would like to be leader#but then later they said that no senior warrior would step forward. which is it. i just cant stop thinking of all the many many times-#-rando warriors were given temporary patrol organizing duties. it happens all the time. i just.#you cant rly tell me not One Single Cat here can organize some chores for a month or two#bc if thats true and mothwing is unable to just point at any warrior ask them to pick some patrols for the day-#then that suggests the problem is not lacking a starclan chosen leader the problem is apparently every single cat in this clan-#-is too incompetent for the job. and being officially appointed isnt going to suddenly give them that skill if they cant do it now#hence why i wish there had been some bloody fighting over this#but sitting around staring at the wall and doing nothing is cool too ig
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jiatiful · 7 months
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when hyunjin said that he went one day to wod and saw minho dancing with his team from soul dance in 2016 before minho joined jyp and then they met in 2017 (jyp) and when seungmin said minho probably wouldn't have met the skz members if it wasn't bc they're in the same group now and minho said he would've met hyunjin. soulmatism.
#i could go on and on abt hyunho tbh#like the fact that they cant look at the other's eyes????? 😭#or when hyunjin used to tease minho abt his snow's selcas and then he was the one to ask him to post more of them#also when lino was begging hyunjin to made him a bracelet !!!! <3#or when lino looks at hyunjin with heart eyes (THERE'RE A LOT OF THESE) literally melting bc he has an ugly soft spot he cant even deny it#the fact that minho became the biggest clingy person when hyunjin came back from the hiatus like he missed him sm#that day when they went to see the first snow together????!!!#just minho always calling hyunjin his bf and that he wants to kiss him ok lino we get it 😭#btw hyunjin was the one to say he wanted to see the first snow with minho !!#when minho literally used bbl stays to tell hyunjin he wanted to watch spiderman with him 😭😭 DONT U HAVE HIS NUMBER PLS#and apparently they were together bc that same day they watched the first snow so...?#in nye when hyunjin woke up and sent a bbl saying minho was sleeping besides him and later minho sending a bbl saying he got the best sleep#also i have a soft spot for minho just delicately touching hyunjin's hair IM INSANE 👍🥶#btw minho didnt even dare to take his bracelet off even when hyunjin was on a hiatus :D#oh and when they had to quarantine and since they changed rooms they weren't together anymore and they facetimed for hours 😭#hyunjin likes spending time by himself and doing his stuff but minho doesn't want him to be alone so they go to eat tgt#the photobooth pics im so sad rn and i miss them :(#and when hyunjin said he liked go to theaters alone to watch a movie and minho (AGAIN) said ill go with u but sit in a different row#so when it finishes we'll go home together DUDE ?! i lov lino :(#also idk how many times has minho been to hyunjin's room just to watch him draw tbh but one time hyunjin talked him into drawing w him and#it was the cutest thing ever#they both love dancing !!!! and reading !!!!! my best friends#btw it was Serious for minho when hyunjin came back in 2021 everyone was like what's going on with them 😭😭 me too#anw yeah minho just being bold and flirting with hyunjin and hyunjin just giggling like 😭 GET UPPPP#also they always mention the other while they're live they think they're Me 🫤#they love each other sm and they're really special to me :(#no one gets hyunho like i do Truly 😔☝️#hyunho#skz
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seiwas · 10 months
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ok this is final! conversations on love 3 (gojo x reader) (col 3) will be released in a few hours hehe it’ll be posted along with a separate piece that’s an extended cut of one of the scenes!
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lecliss · 10 months
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All joking aside, I for real got teary-eyed. This is making me so fucking emotional. Kadaj means so much to me. He's both just a made up remnant AND a kid. He doesn't know anything other than his mother and his desire to be with her and his jealousy of his "big brother" being the special one to have met her and be her favorite. He just wants to be acknowledged and praised and feel like he has a meaning. And again, at the end of the day it's all just the cells and his existence as an extension of Seph's will. But he wouldn't exist if it weren't for that. He can never truly stand as his own person separate from Seph or Jenova. He can never truly have what he wants the most.
And the reminder from Weiss that he IS a kid. He's like two weeks old from the start of AC. Idk how time passes in OO but he's probably like a month or two old by now. And he's physically 15 and his thoughts are consumed by his mother and his brothers. He may not be human but he sure is the shining example of a "child". He's just babey, really. I feel so horrible for him. This is all he knows with nothing but a child-like mentality about it. Even him saying "I promise" feels so childish. I just want him to be his own person so bad but he can't. I don't think he ever can.
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And not to mention Weiss's situation as well!!! It's both adorable and heartbreaking that Kadaj, the perfect example of an "obsessive little brother", is the one constantly reminding Weiss of his own little brother whom he can't remember but still has this lingering feeling of Nero's existence in the back of his mind. The fact that Kadaj is put on the back burner in the mind of his mother for his "superior big brother", and yet is being acknowledged in the mind of Weiss, who would horribly miss his own little brother if only he could actually remember Nero. I can't fucking take this man. I can't do it. I can't.
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sewingsillythings · 1 year
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Went to the theater museum today and saw some very cool costumes!
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our-lady-of-mcr · 2 months
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#also god bless my friend who pointed out that im moving up and im going to be in a salon soon and will actually be doing something good with#my life vs the friend who did me this way pretending shes still in high school that freaks out and loses all her friends every 6 months#i wish it didnt bother me. and i know in 2 months im going to have brushed it off and move on like i always do when bad shit happens#but for the wound being fresh this shit just fucking sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it#i made a very very very vague post on reddit just asking for advice#and the more popular reply was someone more on my side who basically said i should tell her to go fuck herself pretty much#and the second one was someone who v obviously did not actually read the post who said it was all fluff and basically defended her even#when in my post i am saying i defended myself while still listening to the shit she says#and i fucking hate reddit bc people are so.....quick to be hateful and judge#and i knew to expect people being hateful but god DAMN like you yourself are basically saying theres not enough info (yes there was) and you#still are quicker to assume im in the wrong#meanwhile everyone who knows her is like bitch we told you to not forgive her last time and now look where you are#and i am not a perfect person i have flaws the same way everyone else does. literally everyone has said and done shit they regret#and i have fucked her over before because she lost her fucking mind on a campus manager and an educator and she told me to find my own ride#home because i didnt defend her losing her shit and screaming at everyone and ended up having to write an incident report (so did the other#girls who watched it happen so nOT just me) anyways now she uses that as an excuse for treating me like fucking trash because she finally#found out about the god damn incident report which made it so now anyone can say i said anything and she just believes it#its such a fucking joke to me because like ????? girl if we were in opposite positions you would have filled out the fuckin report too#granted it was a handwritten letter and not a report but it was basically the exact same thing as an incident report#my bad that a year ago i wrote a letter saying i was scared you know where i live and that youre mentally unstable. funny how a year later i#feel the same way all over again! except i dont because im not scared of her anymore shes a fucking theater kid who needs to get a grip#i cant wait to look at my self tag again in 2 years and be like DAMN REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED#every single person who knows her that isnt friends with her (i am basically refusing to text her friends bc i dont even want to know)#keeps telling me i didnt do anything wrong and ive given her too many chances and she fucks me each time#i just wish she would go get help bro there is something so wrong with her#self
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euniexenoblade · 4 months
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since we're talking about call outs lately, i've been called out many times, most of which are made from lies and sometimes by altering screenshots, but the most effective call out i ever got was like, in early 2015 there was a tumblr user everyone knew was a terf, but she would say "actually i support trans women" this was before crypto terfs were as talked about so the language wasn't really there to say "hey this person is a crypto terf." but yeah some people put posts of this woman on my dash and i made a random post on my blog "why do yall reblog her shes a terf" and of course she searches her own name daily, found my post, and replied to it that me calling her a terf was racist. that was it. no other interaction. but she went on all night talking about me being racist and just making things up as she went "oh i bet she says the n word all the time irl" kind of shit that had, like no basis? But her follower base took it 100% and i literally had thousands of anons telling me to kill myself, trying to goad me into being racist (didnt work), and the most concerning thing was i got hundreds of anons being like "what was the point of doing hrt if you still look like that, you should kill yourself." It was like, violent and overwhelming. and on top of it I'd get random young teenager trans people who followed her and bought into her bioessentialism showing up in my messages being like "you give trans people a bad name" "you're why transphobia exists" etc etc it was fucking crazy.
but i lost like, no followers because everyone around me understood, this woman was a terf. this all set up the real one though.
later in the year a teenage "communist" trans girl made some snarky comment about me being racist on a post of mine blowing up. i ignored her cuz like, who cares it's just some random teenager. but i guess people were looking for a reason to hate me cuz that blew up, lots of people just took that at face value no need to investigate. when someone finally did send the girl an ask being like "hey how is she racist" she replied "I dont remember but I know she is" and even more people just took this as 100%. the thing is, i do remember her being one of those "you make trans people look bad" terf following young trans people, it's not that she didn't remember, it's that she didnt want to admit she followed a terf and she believed a terf just saying shit. I lost like 3/4s of my followers, i had a lot of people i thought were my friends just stop talking to me, and going forward every time i got a call out there would usually be a line of like "also she's racist, everyone already knows this" all cuz this girl needed to make a snarky comment cuz she just loves terfs.
the thing about the "i dont remember" bit is it made some weird game of telephone. "I dont remember" became "oh she's racist, i think she says the n word" which became "she called black bloggers the n word" like people just made shit up about me and connected it to this call out. and when id be like this isnt true id be met with a "this is just known, youre a known racist" and it's like, to this day i will still find people be like "hey good on you for growing as a person and not doing that any more" and its like I NEVER DID IT TO BEGIN WITH
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moonsaver · 5 months
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Sumeru roses, House of Daena, Sticky notes.
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Being an asisstant for the scribe isn't so bad. Just ignore the persistent overtimes, the scent of your perfume everywhere, and the new ink bottles that keep running out on his desk. You didn't anticipate red being his favorite ink to work with.
A/n: more than 2.5k words. I didnt bother counting. I hsed google translate for arabic whoops sorry not sorry <3 also its been a while since i wrote.
Warnings/tags: reader is g/n, yandere Alhaitham, Alhaitham x reader, stalking, paranoia, obsessive themes, very very subtle mentions of blood (if you squint), kind of drawn out? Horrible arabic google translate quote. Probably OOC but you can ignore that
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You admit, being an asisstant isn't so bad.
Of course, at first when you broke the announcement to your parents you wanted to further your studies at the Akademiya, your parents werent approving. They wanted you to get a cushy job and earn as soon as possible; you don't blame them. Having that life sounds peaceful, however, you think delaying it a bit won't hurt. You haven't had the proper chance to really scour the library at your own leisure, at least, not as a student.
So, while job-hunting, (which was wonderfully disrupted by the huge Archon-Overthrow-play-god plan for a good few weeks,) you got an offer as the Asisstant of the Grand Sage; which was suspicious from how good of a title it was. The Akademiya was desperate to get back on it's feet, and who were you to deny the offer?
Of course, it didn't quite occur to you until the first day of your job you'd be working alongside Alhaitham, the scribe of the Akademiya (and perhaps his infamous title as the one who curated a plan to foil Azar's shenanigans).
Which was fine. He was generally alright,if not great to work with. Straightforward, clear, brief, analytical and most of all – he wasn't pushy. Which was a relief, of course. You managed to make small talk from time to time (if you could really call it that,) and came to a consensus with him on many things, mostly that both of you were not pleased with overtime. The moment the clock hit 5:00 PM, both of you were out of your offices and posts. You were mutually respectful, and generally tolerated each other well.
Of course, things at your job got shaken up when your schedule was thrown off balance. Your favorite drink always ran out, your mornings were crowded and somehow you started showing up later than usual, which meant you went home later aswell (much to your dismay).
Another strange series of events started taking place, if you could even call it that. You swear you haven't been watering the plants in front of your home, and the soil is dry enough, so how are they so.. vibrant? And recently, you swear one of the plants is growing a little too much, basically covering one of the windows, threatening to break it. Sticky notes scattered around the front of your house which you originally thought of as littering from those raucous kids your neighbours can't keep in control – you only realised they were for you when you caught a glimpse of your name on it, and you can only agree with the suspicious look on your friends’ faces when you show them the notes – bright Canary yellow and the striking red colour across the notes (although, you've only shown them the more milder ones. You can't imagine the panic you'll be forced to acknowledge if they see some of the other.. strange ones.)
And you suppose your paranoia has caught up to you. Your sleep-deprived mind swears that new red coloured bottle of ink on Alhaitham's desk wasn't there. You swear he never used that bright Canary Yellow colour of post-its. Did he really like that drink he always seemed to get for both of you? It conveniently ran out when you wanted it, and even more so, he conveniently just brought an extra since it was on discount? Of course it all just seems like a coincidence. You're a fool to even think otherwise.
And well, you're fine. Your life has always been a long series of fine, even with the occasional weird mishaps. That's how it's always been, and you don't intend to change it; rather, you really do find change almost repulsive (save for the panic you felt deep down in your stomach at all the things you couldn't control). And that “fine” comes to a halt when you find your door absolutely mauled with sticky notes. There's a bouquet of Sumeru Roses at the bottom, as if to try and apologise sheepishly for the terrifying collage on your door. The terrifying numbness in your fingers, face, your brows furrowed as you can't decide just how to react, the elevated heartbeat – you swear you can feel the blood threaten to burst through your chest. 
You opted to stay with a friend that night. You don't know what you were expecting when you came back in the morning, and all of those notes were gone, except a singular one in the middle, “الهوس والحب مترادفان، لكنهما لا يقارنان بارتباط روحي بروحك” (which you had to reread almost 30 times with your broken arabic, checked with someone from the Haravatat Darshan, to really confirm – obsession and love are synonyms, but they are nothing compared to the connection of my soul to yours – is what it said, and it's echoed in your head for weeks). You can't remember the last time you wore your rose perfume after that.
Scouring in the House Of Daena didn't seem to alleviate your troubles that well, either. The books you read one day, and opted to continue the next – vanished. Someone else always had the upper hand. And when they returned, they were scribbled and annotated with many pockets of information. Sometimes they overshadow the information on the page itself. And on the rare occasion you put your head on the books as a makeshift pillow for a power nap, you jolted up from just a sniff. Sumeru roses hit your nose.
And of course, when you find notes with all different handwritings on your desk in the office, you think someone's playing a cruel prank on you. But your office was locked. No one saw anyone enter your office. You did your usual check up before you locked it last night, and assorted everything in place. None of these notes were here. And of course, your only clue is the fact they're all Canary Yellow post-its, and that striking scarlet red ink on it. Hasn't the bottle on Alhaitham's desk been running out? He mentioned it off-handedly. You remember saying blue ink was cheaper. He didn't respond.
overtime was disdainful, for the lack of a better word. However, that implies only to the masses – it is no problem for him to come up with better synonyms to describe the situation at hand. “Distasteful”, “loathsome”, “detestable”, and so on. However, complaining will not solve the stacks of files on his desk that he wishes to do away with as soon as possible.
If anything pleases him more than his usual combination of abstruse books, isolation from the general public, and extreme individuality, it is that as the Grand Sage's assistant – you are expected to stay back for the extended hours as much as he is, if not more. For once, working overtime (or being forced to) has brought him progress. Will a few more hours of scribbling away and reviewing files change anything huge? He will return to his post again tomorrow as he has today, and the work will continue. Although, this time, it is you who stays working overtime. So for once, if it manages to quiet down the poking and prodding of other nosy scholars, reprimanding him for never working even a minute after the allocated time, he does so for the exchange of working with you.
And he doesn't intend to burden you, but he knows the desperation you work with, trying your best to cram in any minute, second into trying to get ahold of those books at the House Of Daena. So, if at least to make you stay for longer, he assigns you the more dragged out, tedious work. And to make it better – you just got locked out of your office. He has an extra pair, which he diligently uses for his own interest. As for you; perhaps being so frantic and scrambling to gather all books you might have read the day before may have caused you to drop your keys somewhere along the way. Would he know? Of course – he's diligently collected and added it to his inventory. Would he tell you? It would be like stepping on his own tail. The lack of certainty in a schedule makes for more freedom – he thinks. It's for your own good; he almost says. And to have you work in the same proximity as him? It's a bonus. 
Many consider him to be talented and extraordinarily intelligent, so just take his advice as literally as you can. Or maybe he just needs to tell you directly while making small talk between you two more frequent. To his dismay (and your absolute horror), the sticky notes seem to be working counterproductively. Perhaps he should just show up at your house with a bouquet of Sumeru roses and a small journal filled with his advice? He jests, it's only an entertaining idea. The bewildered look on your face makes him adore you – even if only imaginative.
The lift stops at the top floor. He sees your figure standing beside his desk, an expanse of books behind you. The sharp yellow lights contrast your figure to the dim blue light sphere in the middle. He feels the corners of his mouth perk up into a smile,and stops himself.
Another overtime shift for the both of you.
Overtime was not easy. You wouldn't have minded it – the job pays you well, and its quite comfortably tucked into the Akademiya, where no one bothers you, and you can easily access the House of Daena. However, the stress and paranoia has absolutely drained you. 
You've visited the matra recently. Frantically scraping together whatever evidence you can, everytime your “admirer” decided to gift you something new, leaving almost no time in your schedule. Daily visits to the library turned into constant visits to the matra, detailing your issues. You would have opted to stay silent, brushing it off as someone who was.. weirdly shy. But shy people don't stalk you, shy people don't leave obsessive notes for you, shy people don't visit your house at unholy hours of the night. And who knows what else this stalker of yours has been up to recently?
Revenge bedtime procrastination turned into sleepless nights, flinching at every sound, hiding under the covers until there was no oxygen and your entire face was covered in sweat. Workload seemed to increase, from how often you kept messing up, many things clouding your mind. Alhaitham's prickly eyes took notice, and he suggested drinking another beverage aside from coffee in the morning, and offered to get you something else – which you generously refused and turned down. (the last thing you would want to be is in someone else's debt at this time. Even if it's just a drink, who knows what else it could add up to in the future?)
So, here you were; irritated, on edge and in the dimly lit office which was viciously devoid of any natural light. You wonder why someone would want such a stuffy office, with books probably growing mold inside. Sure, it's spacious, but it's utter lack of life in it repulses you. It has the comfort level of a hospital waiting room, and it's just enough to add onto the little things that bother you, on top of everything else.
If that wasn't any better – Alhaitham seemed particularly chatty this evening. Perhaps his parasitic roommate (whom he has lovingly mentioned, multiple times,) has been ignoring him as of late? Maybe a commission in the desert, or a commission that requires a huge amount of unnecessary labour? And the (Acting) Grand Scribe has mentioned several times how the blonde architect works himself almost half to death just to get a smile out of his customers. You painstakingly understand him in silence, and don't comment on it.
The rest of the night continues – the benignity of it isn't lost on you. Occasionally perking up from your own scribbling upon Alhaitham's call, searching for a specific book on the vast (dusty, if you may add) shelves, and commenting on a few meeting topics and research projects he grazes, assigning you a few. He doesn't miss the comical dragging of your feet as you walk back over to your desk, befuddled with more work. He wants to tease you, he wants you to ask him for help, for an extra bottle of ink, for an extra post it note, whatever way in which you ask for his help.
He theorises you don't remember much of your and his student days.
“shit, I forgot them.”
You searched the familiar pockets and zips of your bag, scrunched eyebrows in frustration.
“Seriously? I'm not lending you any of mine~”
Your friend laughed. You sigh.
“I let you hog all my lunch and this is what I get as a thank you?”
“Too bad. You don't like the blue coloured ones anyway.”
“I'm desperate for a sticky note. Does it look like I'm in a state to be picky?”
Your friend laughs again, and throws their little compact stack of post-its on your book.
“Fine. But you've already annotated so much, what are you gonna write about?”
“Hmm? Wouldn't you like to know?”
You playfully ignore them, as they chitter behind you; carefully sticking it into your textbook and scribbling down the information before you forget. You sigh and look up. You make eye contact.
Right. It's him.
The grey-haired Haravatat boy that rarely showed up. Everyone knew him for his quiet attitude, and his tendency to make your professor's blood boil due to his absence in every lecture. Your friends had a few inside jokes about him. You would dare say this is your first encounter, or really the only one, with him. A stoic look and a judgmental one at the same time, behind curiously multicoloured eyes. 
Nearing the end of the semester – usually the smart ones would avoid the house of Daena, as it would overflow with study groups of caffeine-run seniors and freshman alike. Some of the other clever ones chose spots that weren't easy to find in the first place, and some chose to simply come early.
The thing is, you didn't come early. You were here from midnight. The librarian and all the security checks probably missed you, since you were neatly tucked away into the corner, taking a well-needed nap on one of your reference materials. You only woke up when one of your friends, and that boy poked and prodded you. Your friend laughed until they were out of breath when you looked up – drool slipping down past your chin, eyes swollen from the lack of sleep (and the incessant crying of an academic student), handwriting illegible from just how drowsy you were. The boy only stood quietly, probably judging your.. mannerisms. You weren't sure how, or why, he sat down at the same table as you and your friend. 
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Every once in a while - Alhaitham does use the sticky notes.
He didn't buy them. He wanted to borrow them for a short second, but in your hurry, you gave him the compact stack and left, never looking back. After that, you never got them back. Neither of you had the time, and your fate simply intertwined for a brief moment. Things like these happen.
But you keep appearing in the crowd.
He sees you in a flurry of students, or alone at a desolate desk. On a high-up ladder reaching an impossibly reachable book, crouching down to pick up the several you dropped in the process. Passing by the dull lecture halls as he slipped into the library, following the reference materials his father recommended, picked out neatly from private journals and books. The yellow sticky notes never served him much purpose after a single use. He debated simply keeping them on your desk the next time he saw you, but never quite worked up the courage. He swore the sumeru rose scent gave him a headache.
So, when he heard you were continuing your studies at the Akademiya, he was pleased. Working as a Scribe was a simple job, and his chances of seeing you just increased. And he may have been too ambitious, but it worked greatly in his favour – as he opened up another Assistant role for you. 
He hums, content with his decision to keep the sticky notes. Now - how would he utilise them? He wonders if you remember that friend's handwriting. Simple notes turned into obsessive confessions.
Once in a while turned into almost everyday, the more he observed you.
His obsession alone could become the subject of his own studies – but for now you are his sole interest.
And the next overtime, his first after returning to his post as the Scribe – he decides to finally close the chapter.
Has your perfume always been this sweet? That headache's been catching up to you. All that worrying and panic.. when was the last time you slept?
He opens the door to his office. You stand under the warm light, horrified. Piles of sticky notes crowd your feet. The wall barely peeks through behind you from the sticky notes. He closes the door, and a flurry of them fall from the movement. Both of you stare at each other.
“Alhaitham?”
You remember looking at the collection of sticky notes you'd received over a period of time. Is the red ink turning brown? You swore the color changed. Is it supposed to smell? You don't think you want to know.
“Congratulations. You've made it this far. Ive been waiting to talk to you in private."
Your arms go limp, dropping the stack of files onto the floor. The clock ticks silently. You should have gone home. Your bad habit of staying past closing time and evading the security seemed to have not worked in your favour this time.
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bbunivxrse · 5 months
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 2:34AM ‒ megumi fushiguro
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pairing ‒ 21+megumi x f!reader contents ‒ College AU, alcohol consumption, gets a bit suggestive at one part but no smut, heartbroken megumi gets wasted asfff, a bit angsty word count ‒ 2.3k a/n ‒ a tad bit angsty fgjioejio wrote this at like 4am if you see mistakes no tf u didnt ??? - also making my posts more nice n pretty n aesthetic cuz i felt like it :3
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Megumi Fushiguro sat alone on the couch at a party. he can’t recall why he was there or how many shots he had but everything was starting to get cloudy. girl after girl walking up to him, offering him drinks. he hates alcohol. he hates the taste, he hates the smell, he hates the feeling of it in his mouth and going down his throat, he hates being drunk and he hates being hungover, yet he continues accepting all their offers. the women were hot but none of them were you. maybe he thought if he drank enough he could forget the past, forget the guilt and move on from everything like he should’ve a long time ago. he thought if he got drunk enough the regretful thoughts of the past would go away and the thoughts of you along with it. then he could go on with his life. but the more he drank the more present it became and the more his reality began to shatter at the thought.
girl after girl came up to him, sat near him, sat beside him, sat on him, yet it was only you he could think about. he gladly took their drinks but could barely have a one sided conversation with them for a few minutes before shooing them away.
as the party went on it felt like the music got louder and the lights brighter. his head pounded and he felt nauseous. ‘what am i doing here.’ megumi sinks into the couch, trying to keep himself calm by taking deep breaths and grounding himself in reality. ‘i wanna go home.’ he takes out his phone and stares at his lock screen, it was pitch black with only the white text of the time and date showing. he remembers when it used to be a picture of you with the text showing how far away you were from him. a picture you had taken of yourself in the mirror and sent to him, moments later he had it saved and set it to his wallpaper. he remembers your reaction when you saw it, a bright smile on your face while he was a bit embarrassed to be caught doing something he considered a bit ‘obsessive.’ 
megumi is ripped from his thoughts as someone taps on his shoulder. “wanna have a drink with me..?” he looks up to a see a woman standing right in front of him, a bottle of wine in her hand. megumi wanted to say no, and he was about to, until he took a closer look. ‘she looks just like her’. no, she wasnt exactly the same, but she was similar. from the shape of her body to the way she did her makeup, the way she styled her hair, the jewelry she wore and the shy expression on her face. even the damn dress she wore was similar to the short, black, skin tight dress he had bought you. she was so similar, so familiar, but it still wasn’t you. “sure.”
megumi patted his lap for her to sit down. she handed him the entire bottle and the two of them shared until the bottle was finished. they chatted as they took swigs from the bottle of wine, and as the conversation went on megumi continued to realize that as similar as she seemed, she wasn’t you. it started to throw him off. she didn’t talk like you, she didn’t have the same favourite colour or have the same aspirations. she was still a stranger. she felt like you, looked like you, dressed like you, she almost was you. almost. “let’s go somewhere private.”
megumi pulls her off his lap and leads this mysterious women to a bedroom. this would be the first time he’s fucked another woman since getting with you, even though it’s been months since you left him. he hasn’t even looked at another woman until tonight. he closes the door to the bedroom, the mystery woman pulling him closer and putting her lips on his. ‘she doesn’t kiss like her.’ megumi is yet again reminded that as much as he wants this to be you and he’s willing to pretend it’s you, it’s not you. still, he allows her to unbotton his shirt as they make out and get into bed. she hiked up her dress for him, revealing her black laced panties. ‘her favourite set was red.’
megumi hovers over her, his eyes dead set on her panties making her a bit uncomfortable. ‘what am i doing?’ he questions himself, the headache starting to come back as the music that was previously bothering him can be heard from downstairs. “i need to go.” 
“what?” megumi barely gives her a chance to speak before getting out of bed and heading out the door. she fixes herself up before following after him, but by the time she’s back to the party, he’s already gone. 
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megumi stumbles down the sidewalk, aimlessly walking into the night. the streetlights barely illuminate the sidewalk as he tried to keep himself upright. he finds himself at a dimly lit park, throwing himself onto a park bench. he groans as he takes out his phone, the bright light blinding him and making his skull splitting headache worse. the words on the screen are barely legible as he spends an embarrassing amount of time trying to find his contacts. he thinks about calling yuuji, but he knows he’s usually asleep by this time and keeps his phone on do not disturb at night. he scrolls to kugisaki and calls her instead. the phone rings for a bit, before he hears her groggy voice on the line. “hello..?” 
“can you pick me up?” megumi barely pieces his sentence together “oh my god megumi, it’s 3AM! you shouldve left earlier. i’m going to bed, i have a class in the morning.” 
“please, kugisaki. i can’t drive…” megumis words slur a bit “holy shit, you actually drank?? oh my god this isn’t what i meant when i told you to have some fun.”
“just pick me up. ill make it up to you.” megumi pleads over the phone, a desperate tone coming from his voice that she wasn't used to hearing even after knowing him for so many years
“yeah, whatever. where are you? actually, don’t fucking bother, you sound too wasted to figure that out. just send me your location.” megumi can hear his friend's bed sheets ruffling as she gets out of bed, which begins to fill him with a bit of guilt, even if she was the one who suggested he go to the party in the first place. eventually he figures out how to send kugisaki his location, patiently waiting for it to go through. “okay, i got it. ill be there soon, idiot.” she hangs up before he can say anything back. 
megumi sits back on the hard bench, rethinking his night at the party. he wasn’t even hung over yet but he already regretted all of it. he had hoped that the music and the people and the alcohol would distract him, take his thoughts away from the past and finally live in the present but they only made him miss you more. if you were still with him he’d be in your room, laying in your bed napping whilst you studied for your next exam. the music wouldn’t be blasting in his ears and causing him a headache and instead would be soft lofi playing quietly from your speaker, which helped you study and helped him sleep. he wouldn’t have to try and imagine the girl he was talking to was you, it would’ve been you.
 without thinking, megumi takes out his phone, opening up a locked folder. his face id unlocks the folder that held pictures and videos of you. he’s gone through everything multiple times and he wishes he could still take more and add them to his collection. he wishes you would still take pictures of your outfits and send them to him. he wishes his wallpaper was still his favourite picture of you.
tears begin to well in his eyes as he turns off his phone and stuffs it in his pocket, he can’t bring himself to look through that folder again. not in his current state. you’re already gone, he knows that, he’s been told that, you told him that. he knows he needs to move on and continue his life without you but you’ve been the only thing on his mind for months and the alcohol in his system certainly wasn’t helping. 
megumi wipes his tears as he hears the car in front of him beep. pushing himself off the bench, he limps his way over to his friend’s car and gets in the back seat. 
“jesus, i thought you didn’t like drinking.” usually his friend would laugh at him for things like this but this time her tone and the look on her face was more serious. “whatever.” 
the car ride was abnormally silent and the odd tension in the air was prevalent. kugisaki dropped him off in front of the dorms, his roommate already waiting for him outside. “thanks.” is all megumi can say to his friend as he walks away from her car. 
“you alright, megumi? did something happen while you were there?” yuuji takes a good look at his best friend. he knows it’s been rough since the break up, he’s seen all of it. he’s done what he can to help keep his mind off it, to help his friend move past it but clearly it’s all still there. he feels guilty for sending megumi to this party now. kugisaki suggested it but he was the one who really convinced him it’d be a good idea, but he should’ve thought it through a bit more. yuuji can see the puffiness of his eyes and it breaks his heart to see his normally stoic friend in such a state. he’s really tried everything to help but at this point he can’t do much anymore. “it’s okay man, forget about it.” he throws an arm around his friend to keep him stable, taking him back to their shared dorm. yuuji spends the night trying to distract his friend, getting him to sober up and eventually fall asleep. 
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sunlight spilling from the blinds shines on megumis face, waking him up. the moment he opens his eyes he’s met with painful pounding in his head. still, he manages to sit up, his headache getting worst every moment hes conscious. he makes his way to the living room, where his friend is already sitting on the couch. “hey.” he barely mumbles out before plopping himself on the other side of the couch. “you hungry?” his roommate waved back at him. 
“no.” megumi gets himself comfortable on the couch, trying to distract from the overwhelming throbbing he’s feeling. suddenly his phone buzzes on the coffee table, where he apparently left it last night. picking it up, he had a slightly abnormal amount of notifications from kugisaki, both texts and calls. 
[ 4 missed calls from kugisaki ]
[ kugisaki: did you text y/n? ] 
[ kugisaki: megumi answer my call oml ]  
his heart drops as he opens his phone and goes to messages, and there he sees it. three messages he had sent last night, all of which he doesn’t even recall. “sorry…” yuuji looks over at his roommate, seeing the colour from his face leave as he looks at the messages he had sent. “i tried to stop you but you were gonna beat the shit outta me when i took your phone...” 
“it’s fine.. sorry.” megumi didn’t even want to read the messages he sent. he can see them, he can see that they went through, he can see that you haven’t read them, and he doesn’t want to read them either. he decides to turn off his phone and put it down, judging by kugisaki’s messages, you had already seen the messages and told her about them, just never actually opened them. ‘fuck.’ 
“hey, why don’t we just go out somewhere? To help you forget about it. let’s go watch a movie!” normally megumi isn’t the most excited about leaving his home and heading out. he prefers staying in his room, lounging on the couch or getting a good workout in at the gym, but today he feels more than ever that he needs to spend some time doing something else, distract himself from his sad, dull life. go out and have some actual fun, especially with his best friend. “sure,”
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“I told you it’d be a good movie!” yuuji pokes at his friend’s arm. 
“It was about an earthworm.” megumi playfully rolls his eyes as the two of them walk out of the theater. “It was more than that! Did you even watch the movie!?” the two of them continue to argue about the quality of the movie they had just seen on their way to the parking lot. megumi takes his phone out of his pocket to check his notifications and his heart drops for a second time that day. a name that hasn’t appeared on his lock screen in months, the name he’d been waiting to see there for so long. it was the only one in his contacts to have any sort of emoji or decoration to it, and he never changed it despite everything. 
[ you: i mess you sofucjng much ] 
[ you: pls so im sorry for everything ] 
[ you: pleese baby pls talk to me ]
- Unread message  -
[ y/n <3: come over, we’ll talk about it ] 
megumi stares at the notification. it felt as if his heart skipped several beats. he opens the message and continues to stare. his fingers move on their own as he types a response and he doesn’t even think about it before hitting send. 
[ you: on my way ]
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omg can u guys tell im not good at coming up with endings :sob:
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choccy-milky · 13 days
Note
OKAY HEAR ME OUT CHOCCY SEB GIVES CLORA A SNAKE RING?!?!
Soooooo rereading the fic and I’m back to chapter 33, and it totally popped into my head that they are IN THE VICTORIAN ERA and do ya know what was super popular after the engagement ring that Queen Victoria was given by Prince Albert? A SNAKE RING
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AND IF THAT AINT SEB TREATING CLORA LIKE THE QUEEN SHE IS THEN I DONT KNOW WHAT IS 😭💙💚✨
Thank you for coming to my ted talk 🫣😂
LMFAOO YESS TRUST ME, IVE SEEN THIS AFTER DOING MY OWN RESEARCH ABOUT VICTORIAN RINGS, ITS SO PERFECT!! AND THE FACT THAT ITS GREEN TOO LMAO, prince albert was a possessive slytherin confirmed!!🤪 but yea ill DEFS be incorporating a snake into the final design of cloras ring HAHA. i basically HAVE to...yknow, for period accuracy 🥰
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WOO YAY im glad i could inspire you to start writing!!!🙏and i get it, writing fanfic is defs self indulgent and for ourselves first and foremost, but obvs nobody wants to release their work into the void😩 as for how my own fic got popular, one of the main things is defs timing. i published the first chap basically within the first week of the game being out (it came out on the 10th and my chap was on the 18th) so it was there right at the peak/start of the fandom. but i also dont wanna attribute it all to timing BAHHA cuz i think im a pretty good writer and that helps....my fic also didnt get popular right away, but i was consistently posting every single week + eventually started adding art every single week, and was just really dedicated to not only writing but also drawing art for it (which is also obvs another huge factor/probs the biggest factor). ive had so many ppl tell me they started reading my fic bc they saw my art on pinterest or something LOL, and some ppl have even read it fandom-blind bc they were into the seb/clora dynamic??? which is another point actually. i always joke about how i love my cliches and good girl+bad boy dynamics, and that im unashamed about loving them LOL, but also...they're cliches for a reason!!! lots of us eat that shit up!!!😤so i think thats defs another factor, vs if my fic was a bit more niche and avant garde LOL the fandom is also (understandably) a lot slower than it was at the beginning of the year so itll be harder in general, but maybe you could commission art to go with your fanfic? ive seen a lot of other HL fanfic writers do it, and i think it defs helps to draw attention! GOOD LUCK and i hope you keep writing!!!🫡💖💖💖🙌
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huh??? go with the tide pods instead, THAT shit looks bussin😩😩
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AWW TYY😭😭I LOVE THAT HAHAH AND IM GLAD U THINK SO💖💖 my friend also asked me this question after seeing my recent ask, and i STILL have no idea what i would have named it instead LMAOO, thats how bad i am at naming things. even a year later im like bruh idk!!! clora and sebs bizarre adventures??? i guess id probs make it something light/dark themed in retrospect, or something more specific to the ancient magic, but i still have no idea what LOL
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billcyp-her · 5 months
Text
PYROMANCY AND HOW IT WORKS FOR ME
Now, i don't claim to be an expert pyromancer, and i definitely dont know any asvanced skills with it, but this is how i use pyromancy in my craft.
- first i light my chosen candle
-> can be any real candle, yes even a scented candle, yes even a tea light candle
- then, once its properly lit (i usually light it and wait a couple minutes) i ask the flame if there are any entities present
-> I work with more than just deities, so i ask for entities. An entity is any being ("good or bad") thst is currently in your working space
- if the flame becomes higher or cackles or makes any sort of big movement/change, i take it as a yes
-> if theres little/no movement, i take it as a no
-> -> its totally ok. If you dont have any entities around you at the moment, they may come in later or may just be shy. Or maybe there's no one around, that isn't your fault. Think of it as a scheduling conflict
- after that, i like to ask if theres multiple entities (same rules apply) (i usually only ask yes or no questions but theres other types of answers for more skilled puromancers, i just dont know/use them)
-> if you want, you can ask if the entiry is a deity, and if it is, you can go down a list of deities you work with to figure out whos there
-> -> usually, you can figure it out by the way the flame dances, idk i just get a feeling i know who it is, but this might be a more advanced skill so i recommend asking
-> -> -> also, if you want to stidy the flame and the way it moves, write it down, and then compare it to the way other deities more the flame, that can help you figure out who is there faster
- usually after this, i just leave the candle alone. I talk to it about my day and other random things.
-> keep in mind some deities might be really involved and move the flame alot, while others are naturally more quiet and harder to spot
-a couple times during my session (esp if its a longer one) i ask if theres an entity there, because sometimes theres a different entity, or multiple at the same time, and i like to be aware of them,
- when its time to turn off the candle, i say a thank you to whoever was there, and if there were entities that didnt manifest with the candle, i thank them too and i tell them theyre more than welcome to use the flame.
-> to turn off the flame, theres many different ways to do it, i just blow it out, (theres a misconception that Deities get angry if you blow put the flame, thats not true they dont care)
--------
Hope this was helpful, let me know if you have any questions or you need clarification on something. If you have any post requests and want me to make a post on a witchcraft topic, let me know (send an ask, send a message, send a reply on one of my posts...) and ill try my best.
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ultra-raging-ghost · 6 months
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I reached post limit so im gonna write this and save it for midnight to post later 🥰
-10:30 EST
Richas made a reference/mentioned outliving forever and bad started screaming and sobbing for a solid 2 minutes and then started talking about how no no forevers probably fine cucuruchos probably taking care of him, richas asked if thats what bad tells himself to sleep at night, if he just lies to himself and bad said yes! if all else fails, simply lie to yourself and push your true feelings down to make it through this meaningless existence :D and richas said "so if we said the sky is pink at all times a day and just lie to ourselves its ok?" and bad said yes, we already lie to ourselves all the time we just need to think about how much lying we accept :3
richas thinks dappers colorblind
bad said his chats british 😭
time to read books!
-10:40 EST
bad is making fun of us for being sad because of angst(/lh/j) and sang a brief song about us being sad and mentioned "the sun is gone" just to torment us over forever being gone. He also went f5 said something like “if you think it’s sad now… anyway..... spoilers!!" implying it will get even sadder!! (terrified)
oh theres a letter for bbh and forever :((( this might be sad now that forevers. in his place. chats crying
-10:50 EST
Bad is screaming and crying because forever will never be able to read his letter, hes literally head in hands screaming and crying and hes letting the TTS read it out
one of the qsmp purgatory programmers wrote bad a letter saying he was supposed to die more and bad said hes a bug tester at heart and richas is bullying bad because of how many bugs he found and exploited LMAO bad said he'll fudging do it again
-11:00 EST
bad found ANOTHER wall bug to glitch thru, hes insane
-11:10 EST
someone said the word forever and bad is reduced to shambles on the floor, hes crying and whining forevers name in tears and agony and he made the dying "bleh" sound like 4 times
also bad mentioned that as soon as its confirmed to the characters like in-character that max is dead theyre having a funeral for him, like bad as the grim reaper knows but he hasnt told anyone, nobodys aware of him being gone, >>>>also he was ominous and said he needed to shoot max a message oorp and refused to elaborate. what the fuck was that about badboyhalo? <<<<<
-11:30 EST
Bad and richas and pomme wanna make an elevator death trap and then call foolish over to trap/murder him <3 chat is advocating for this idea. chat also wants to see the museum, bad said yes!!! Museum time!
before that, bad is being ominously silent again and is texting off screen. that max comment earlier + this makes me worried. MOVING ON THO BC HES SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RICHAS AND POMME GOT HIM A PRESENT FOR HIS BDAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICHAS!!!!! (in brazil time) The present is Honey cookies! because richas got covered in honey and used as bait while they were away LMAO
Bad was talking about the 1k snow golems prank and was wondering if the cleanup team would be upset or love that, and richas said "lets say im part of that tio" and bad is now saying richas will take 100% accountability for that and will clean all of it up by himself LMAOOOO richas placed down signs saying "NO TIO I NEVER SAID THAT!! I DIDNT" and bad read them out loud as "Yes tio i agree i did say that ill do it!"
oh god bads spamming richas signs everywhere this is gonna fucking lag everything LMAOOOO richas crashed and bad kept placing until he got bored and said "yessssss richas will get in so much trouble hahaha! messing with the server!!!! bad then said "Richas always comes back" in the FNAF voice, didnt need to know you were an even bigger nerd BBH but okay /aff
-11:40 EST
Pomme is dragging bbh around on a lasso and is trapping him somewhere <3333 theyre climbing up the big ben and bad is taking SO MUCH DAMAGE he has his auto eat on
he accidentally said the word "forever" again and started crying again, his chat is in shambles.
MUSEUM TIME!!!!!!
HELP THE FUCKING ADMINS INCLUDED A DRAWING OF BAD LITERALLY STUCK IN A PADDED ROOM BASED ON HIS TIME IN JAIL, RICHAS SAID "natural habitat"
>>>>>>bad's crying again, and being horny because of how "cute" forever looks in the fanart, but mostly crying<<<<<
pomme started bullying bad because he called forever cute LMAO
tinas on!!!!!
-11:50 EST
Bad's crying again over art of him and forever in the pool he made in forevers base, the admins want to hurt him specifically/j
"treasure the wholesome moments chat, for they are just dust in the wind" -BBH 2023
bad took his totems out of his offhand again :)
Bad's crying again over another image of him and forever!!
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Note
AITA for how i broke up with my boyfriend?
(hopefully this all fits in one ask…)
so i was dating this person, we'll call him Z, and while i had strong feelings for him in the beginning of the relationship, they faded kind of fast (i'm on the aromantic spectrum (and he knows this so this kind of thing happens a lot when i'm in a relationship). i felt kind of bad about being in a relationship where i didn't really have feelings for the other person anymore but i didn't know what to do, and i've broken up with almost all of my partners because of this issue so i felt like i was a failure for having to break up with another one.
instead of breaking up with him, i sort of tried to respond a little less, be a little less affectionate, not to an extreme amount and i was still responding to him often but i was hoping the dip in sweet responses would get him to break up with me. he didn't.
a month or two went by and i decided i needed to just bite the bullet and break up with him - i thought he would just accept it and saw me as a bad partner but apparently he didn't, and he kept trying to say we shouldn't break up. i told him i thought i was a bad partner and i knew i couldn't give him the love that he deserved (which was true, i couldn't, because i didn't love him like that) and that he deserved better (he did). i didn't want to admit that i had lost feelings and wasn't in love with him anymore, because i thought that would upset him further (i’ve seen many breakups where people admit they don’t love the other person and it always seems to make things worse). it took a while of back and forthing before he finally accepted the break up. we agreed to still be friends, but since the breakup we haven't really spoken, though we still follow each other - or at least we did for a while (you'll see why i say that)
pretty much immediately after i broke up with him, one of his best friends, we'll call them T, texted me, super pissed off that i broke up with him. i didn't really talk to T much because (while i understand why Z wanted to vent to a friend about it) it wasn't really their business why i did what i did and i wasn't concerned about defending myself to somebody i didn't even really know. however, right after yelling at me for breaking up with Z, T told me they hope i die, which while i don't really see as that dramatic or serious of a threat (and they admitted they just said it to get their anger at me out), it still hurt me a lot, since even though the break up didn't go smoothly, i can't control my feelings for Z, as again i am aromantic (spec), and it made me feel like a horrible person for something i didn't choose. (and they were specifically mad at me for breaking up with them in the first place, not for how the break up was handled). i feel like maybe if i had explained that id lost feelings they would have responded differently, but again i thought this would hurt Z worse, so i don't know if that's my fault or not.
however, we still followed each other, even after the interaction with T, and this is not the only time they lashed out at me. months after the breakup, i made a silly post like "who wants to date for fun" or something, which i didn't really think anything of, until Z vagueposted about it, seemingly getting really upset, and T sent me an anonymous message telling me to kill myself. i know for certain it was T and that the vaguepost was about me.
not only that, but even more months later, i had a really awful day because somebody stole $500 from my sister, who needed it for rent. i didn't post about the situation, but i vented about "having the worst day ever", and Z immediately posted about me, saying that he was laughing at my vent post. i was so beyond upset that i immediately unfollowed him (however, he still followed me at the time - i didnt block him just because i dont care enough tbh, i just never wanted to see him vaguepost me negatively again.)
Z and T were almost always completely kind to me (from what i can remember) before the breakup, so i'm wondering if it's all my fault or if their reaction was out of proportion. i know the way i went about the relationship sucked, so i'm honestly expecting at least a YTA if not ESH but i thought i'd send anyway just to see other peoples unbiased thoughts, since all i have is my friends opinions, who obviously only tell me that i was in the right (i dont know if i believe them).
What are these acronyms?
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bentosandbox · 1 month
Text
AK Fest posting part 1
because i have so many pics to go through
There are two halls, the one with official/fan stuff and the actual theme park-ish one This post covers the first because image limit
The tickets were sold on Bilibili so I got them myself, you also have to register your name and ID and I got a VIP ticket so I got to sleep in little later (i think it was like 298 vs 598 RMB... you get more merch and 1 hour earlier entrance/shorter entry queue, but apparently so many people lined up early on the first day they let the floodgates loose at 8 plus and merch sold out by 0930 lmao) Idk how unfair it'd be (not sure how many tickets they sold per tier) but I kind of wish the VIP let you fastpass the attractions too kuxiao
I went on the 4th which was the second…? day and before I went in I had to scan a qrcode to basically upload a selfie lol (surprisingly didn't have to do this for the concert they just looked at my passport punched in the funny numbers on a device and let me through a manned door)
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You get a totally not infection monitor to tap at every location, and if you scan the qr code on the underside it brings you to a miniapp on wechat that shows you your progress and queue estimates (there was also some quest thing that i forgor to do i think you get doctor stickers for it)
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I headed here first because I wanted to pass some stuff to an oomf at the doujin area (first pic is the queue...) they invited a bunch of fanartists (that post regularly on skland? not sure) to table there kinda cool with a showcase of fanart
sorry it was impossible to take a nice pic of the chummer gk I TRIED
bought an eyja collab tea bottle cause it was from vending machines compared to the fresh drinks (i didnt get to try the chen one cause uh… i forgot basically the naixue near my hotel was always out of the drink set w/ the bonus merch)
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I'd post so many photos but the 10 image limit is kinda killing me over here... they had this huge area to look back at all the events basically
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Area with production materials and some merch wips like I saw the justice knight figurine that I can't post because I already have 10 images on here ahhhhh WAIT I CAN JUST EMBED TWEETS ON HERE
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Old tweets about the Free Stage that day which was basically public karaoke guillotine
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and the frostnova memorial
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callmeklair · 6 months
Note
Hey, excuse me, but did you read this? https://www.tumblr.com/yuikomorii/738629974149496832/ok-i-didnt-want-to-go-this-far-but-at-this
I genuinely want your opinion about this post, because I totally agree with your post, and thought this other one was a bit rude.
(sorry for my terrible English, I hope I'm not being rude to you)
dw, english is not my first language too so it's okay also you are not being rude. and yeah just like I said some people hate the "overhype" not Ayato hit this Ayato stans still convert it into ayato hate and start giving various reasons to prove their point. just like in this post. it's like if we go through other boys' contents more deeply like they did with Ayato, then we'll also find a lot of growth, development and plus traits in other characters. but nah they just wanna paint it on Ayato.
if we talk about Ayato forgiving Cordelia because he still hoped she got her feelings reciprocated, then Yuma forgiving Reiji is way more major and heavy, because we all know how bad Mukamis' experience was. and if Reiji wouldn't have burned down his whole village, Yuma wouldn't have ended on city streets, with memory loss and then you guys know the rest. orphanage was one of the most terrifying hell for them because of the war (and it's sad how it was so true) yet Yuma forgave Reiji and even wished for his happiness with Yui.
Reiji also had one of the biggest developments. he was someone with ambition but ignored and cast aside by never receiving his mother's acknowledgement. yet after meeting Yui he grew so much like, in Shu's LE route, he literally sacrificed himself to protect Yuma because he was guilty and even though Yuma already said he forgave him a long time ago why he did it, Reiji said no matter how many times Yuma forgave him, it wouldn't rid him off of his guilt and past actions. also he:
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this is not even his own route! but Shu's DF route yet look at my boy. proof that Ayato is not the only one who is compassionate out of his route. and same goes for Mukami brothers, be it Sakamaki, their own family or even Tsukinami's route they are compassionate and that's really a big deal because after what happened to them, they laugh at things like "humanity" because nobody showed them such yet look at them in later games.
In other words, yes there are many reasons for Ayato stans to make Ayato the main hero because Rejet said it so but please stop putting other characters in the background, casting them aside like they didn't have it rough and are NOTHING compared to Ayato's sufferings and compassion. all of them had different environment. even triplets, ayato, laito and kanato were mistreated differently. and Laito only pushed away Ayato because of what Cordelia did to him, and remember, among vampires there is nothing like humanity and compassion that's why Laito never expected anything from any of his brothers and pushed Ayato away too. ALSO AYATO SAID IT HIMSELF IN LAITO'S DF THAT LAITO HAD IT WORSE FROM CORDELIA.
Yes Ayato probably killed Cordelia to protect his younger brothers + also what she did to him, and I really like that about him. but that didn't mean other characters didn't do anything. Carla sacrificed Shin's eye instead of giving up on his brother's life even if it meant Shin will hate him for his whole life but at least that'll still keep his little brother alive.
Ayato realised Karlheinz is the root of evil, so did Shu a long time ago but everyone have their OWN way with dealing things, and Shu just wanted a peaceful life with Yui that's why he never tried to ever mention his father or tried to face him head on. it was difficult for Mukamis to accept Karlheinz evil because he was their saviour yet they still took courage and betrayed him for the sake of evil. Reiji likes his father but in his CL good end, even he was speechless and finally had enough of his father's Adam and eve plan, rejecting the throne and taking Yui away.
now if I keep going, this post will become endless so I'll stop now
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ddlcbrainrot · 21 days
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ok so i was feeling nostalgic today and started thinking about how my first time going through ddlc was so i’m making a post about it lol
buckle up this is going to be a long one
so i first heard of the game when it first came out in 2017, which means i was like… 12 years old?? so definitely should not have been watching it but what can ya do. anyway i’ve seen the title in a bunch of yt videos which described it as a horror game, and i was intrigued bc… 4 cute anime girls? how is that a horror game. i was too much of a scaredy cat to actually download it on our family computer so i watched some ddlc playthrough in yt. and i was so bored throughout the first half of act one lmao. i think i mentioned it before but when i first encountered the game i wanted to go the monika route, and i was so disappointed it wasn’t an option (until later on when i realised why it wasn’t an option). also the yt video i watched went down the yuri route and look, i didnt necessarily have a problem with the shy girl character type, what i did have a problem with (and still do to some extent) was how the shy girl is always portrayed in anime. i was definitely a shy person growing up, so seeing the traits that had caused me so many problems be considered adorable and desirable kinda irked me the wrong way. so yeah, first half of the game i was pretty unimpressed. i didn’t dislike it, i just thought “i’ve seen these character archetypes before, i know how this is going to play out, i’ll just wait until the other shoe drops”. and oh boy it did.
i remember that scene in sayori’s bedroom to this day dude. this is probably embarrassing to admit, but i honestly believe that scene changed the trajectory of my life. i live in a very uneducated country on the subject of mental health, so i had no idea on anything surrounding it. i’ve heard the term “depression” before, but it was only brought up either in a joking way or in a way of saying someone is too far gone. which is obviously not the case, but that’s how it was usually used back then in my environment. so to see a character that (even if i wasn’t as emotionally invested in bc of how tropey they were at that point) i liked talk about how they struggle with it was a very eye opening experience to say the least. it’s kind of funny thinking back, but i really was like “huh. depression is actually a real thing people can go through. and it could also be something people i care about have to go through. and something i could go through.”. it sounds dumb when i write it down but that was srsly how it was.
then act 2 happened, i don’t really have much to say about act 2 bc throughout the whole thing i was just uncomfortable and unsettled, which is definitely what act 2 is supposed to make you feel. natsuki was now somehow the most normal one, i didn’t like yuri even more now bc she was now also weirdly obsessive, i knew monika was up to something i just couldn’t wrap my head around what. a moment that stuck with me a lot during act 2 was the whole “can you hear me?” thing in monika’s second writing tip, bc wow this girl knows something and is also very clearly trapped by something and WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?? i literally had no idea where the story was going so the reveal hit me like a truck.
act 3… what to say about act 3… i was so mind blown you don’t even know. remember that i was like 12 at the time, this was my first ever experience with the media breaking the fourth wall. and from what i remember i had an… interesting viewpoint on it. i think there are two ways to interpret monika’s self awareness. first up is taking it under the context of the story, basically knowing that she isn’t actually self aware but for the sake of the story following along with the idea that she is. second one is taking it under the context of the behind the scenes, so you understand that she isn’t actually self aware but you can’t ignore it and just immerse yourself back in the story. it’s a risk the creator takes with breaking the fourth wall, bc the second interpretation usually ruins the idea behind the media. i had the second reaction to the awareness reveal. and i think it gives the game an entire new meaning, one that probably wasn’t the original one but i’d like to talk about it. the only thing i was able to think throughout monika’s monologues was : “oh crap. she thinks she’s self aware but in actuality she is programmed to kill her friends. she isn’t free from the script, she’s still following it. the creator just made her think she is aware but actually, she is just as much of a puppet as the other girls and she doesn’t even realise. she’s trapped in an even worse way than the other girls. bc she thinks she is free”. which, is definitely not what dan was going for, but i gotta say it is ten times scarier.
and then sayori goes through the epiphany too and then monika deletes the game and the credits roll but i was so flabbergasted by everything before that i couldn’t even form thoughts through act 4.
so yeah 12yo me was not only struck with the realisation that feelings are real things (thanks to sayori) but now also the thought that just because you experience something that could be 100% real to you doesn’t mean it actually is (thanks to monika). needless to say this game changed me as a person.
damn this was a long one, i apologise if you read through all of this lmao
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