#i will say i genuinely read the sequels and NEVER went back and read the first book

[in-tua-deep]

man i have really been thinking about worldbuilding and exposition in books recently

when i was like, i don’t know, twelve-ish, I picked up this book about a teenage girl in a spy school. and i absolutely fell in love with it - I thought it was incredibly neat how the book just seemed to drop me into the middle of the story, even starting in the girl’s second year. in fact, the main character frequently referenced events from her first year (falling in love with a civilian, things ending badly, finding secret passageways, losing her mother’s trust etc.) 

and I actually really enjoyed the fact that the character had a rich and vibrant life outside of what i had read and that the book didn’t go out of its way to explain her past in flashbacks or anything. i understood the main takeaways and why she was reacting to things based on what i gleaned, and more than that i understood the growth of the character, why she was cautious in certain places but reckless in others, etc and i felt smarter for not being handed the answer on a silver platter

anyway it wasn’t until i finished the book and realized there was a sequel that i looked it up and found out that. in fact. i had started with the second book in the series.

oops.

[riddlerosehearts]

thinking about how people who watch the emperor's new groove and somehow come out of it shipping pacha and kuzco, or thinking yzma only became evil when kuzco fired her and that she would've been a better ruler than him, are both so wrong in so many different ways and are also missing one of the things that i absolutely love about the movie. which is that, the way i see it, pacha and yzma are counterparts. as parental figures to kuzco.

like, just to get this out of the way first, yzma was a dismissive asshole to a peasant whose family was starving. and yeah, if kuzco had been in her place he definitely would've also done that, which... is why she would not be a better ruler than him. she'd just be the same because they're both horrible people in the exact same ways. her reaction to being fired is to plot murder, and as soon as his funeral is over she sets everyone to work on replacing paintings of kuzco with paintings of herself and covering the palace with imagery that makes it clear that it's all about her now. i'm not even sure why this is a discussion tbh.

and also, kuzco is literally a teenager. he's barely 18 years old. source: in the movie, yzma says at his funeral that kuzco was "taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday." she also claims in the movie to have "practically raised" him, to which kronk replies "yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better". and sure, she could be exaggerating, but what evidence do we have that she is? we learn absolutely nothing of his parents, who are never mentioned even once in the movie, or of anyone else who could've raised him, and she's his advisor who for some reason sees no problem with attending to royal duties in his place. most likely because she's his regent. also, i'm not exactly a fan of the sequel tv series "the emperor's new school" but it does have something that backs up my point: kuzco is revealed to be an orphan and just before his father went and got lost at sea, he asked yzma (who was also his advisor) to take care of kuzco if anything happened to him. so, yeah, the writers who worked on the series clearly thought that yzma genuinely did raise kuzco, and nothing in the movie contradicts this.

and i find the idea of her being his only parental figure for pretty much his whole childhood incredibly interesting because, and this also goes back into why she wouldn't be a better ruler than him--she mirrors him as a reflection of what would've become of him if he'd never met pacha. they're both incredibly arrogant, power-hungry, selfish, and cruel, with a tendency to blame their problems on everyone but themselves. yzma was even originally going to have her own reprise of kuzco's theme song "perfect world", which i really wish had been kept:

[ID: Lyrics that read:

I'Il be the sovereign queen of the nation And the chicest chick in creation I'm the cat with all the cream and ooh-la-la This deadly concentration Will put an end to my frustration Now this perfect world begins and ends with moi

What's my name? Yzma, Yzma, Yzma Yzma (what's my name?) Yzma, Yzma (What'd you say?) Yzma (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!) Yzma. End ID]

(this song can be fully heard in "the sweatbox", the documentary about the making of the movie, and is also on youtube btw)

anyway, i'm sure yzma would not exactly have been the most nurturing or hands-on guardian, especially given that she and kuzco don't exactly treat each other like family. but it makes a lot of sense to think that her behavior influened kuzco's throughout the years. and for the entire movie, she remains determined to kill him. when he tries to reason with her and admits that he should've been nicer, she says the same thing to him that he originally said when he fired her. she never grows or changes and in the end, she hurts the one person who was willing to stand by her (and even then, kronk had never fully been on board with her plan) and he ends up trying to crush her with a chandelier. kuzco on the other hand is able to realize the error of his ways, come to regret who he was in the past, and start taking steps toward being a better person. his theme song gets a reprise where it's changed from a song about one person being the center of the world to a Power Of Friendship song. why? because, as i've already mentioned, he has pacha.

pacha, who similarly to both yzma and kuzco is in a position of authority as the leader of the village but unlike either of them is gentle and humble. who isn't afraid to stand up to kuzco and be honest with him even though he's the emperor, who agrees to take him back to the palace but has no obligation to be so helpful, kind, and caring toward him--and just about every reason not to be--and still chooses to be anyway. pacha who is 45 years old (also stated in the sweatbox documentary) and can see that kuzco is practically still a kid, not a single day over 18, who has time to grow and change. pacha, who already has a wife and two kids with another on the way, but practically treats kuzco like one of his own. who acknowledges that if kuzco dies all his problems will be gone and then still worries about him and goes out of his way to rescue him after he wanders into the jungle. who sees kuzco shivering at night and covers him with his poncho, who carries him when he's genuinely too weak to keep walking, who refuses to give up on him even after repeatedly being betrayed by him because he believes there's good in everyone.

also, while yzma ends up repeating kuzco's harsh words of dismissal as she tells him of her plans to kill him, kuzco had previously repeated pacha's words that "nobody's that heartless" after he saved pacha's life. and as the movie progresses kuzco and pacha's relationship becomes more and more equal and is constantly contrasted by moments of yzma being cruel and unappreciative of kronk's kindness. a good example of this is how kronk is constantly being forced to carry yzma everywhere on his back while yzma literally walks all over him and steps on his hands when she gets down, whereas when pacha briefly carries kuzco after the latter collapses he tells him he'll have to walk the rest of the way later and kuzco doesn't even protest.

idk if i'm even explaining well what i'm trying to say here. but basically, if yzma actually raised kuzco and contributed to his current behavior, then she and pacha both are figures who guided him and helped him grow. only yzma helped him become the tyrant that he was at the start of the movie, who was selfish and callous and saw everyone else as beneath him. whereas pacha helped him see the value in being selfless and considerate of others. and in the end, yzma is stuck as a cat and nobody is concerned about her. kronk has found a new job that makes him genuinely happy, while kuzco has decided to build a hut on the hill next to pacha's and effectively joined his family. in the sweatbox documentary it's even mentioned that chicha and the kids were at risk of being removed from the film, but it was decided that they needed to be there because having just pacha as a single guy who lived alone wasn't interesting enough--kuzco needed to go from having basically an empty world where he had nobody to being able to come together with pacha's whole family. and i just think that's incredibly satisfying and beautiful. it also leads up to one of the few things i really do enjoy about the emperor's new school, which is the fact that during the show kuzco moves in with pacha and chicha and pretty explicitly thinks of them as basically his parents while he's like a son to them.

idk. i feel like my mind went in a million different directions while i was writing all this. but i guess i just think that for all of the praise the emperor's new groove gets for its comedy and for how hilarious yzma and kronk in particular are as a duo, the movie also has a lot of genuine heart that gets overlooked. kuzco's character growth and his unique dynamic with pacha is, for me, really what elevates the movie from just a funny movie that i like to one of my favorite disney movies. and i wish more people appreciated that aspect of it and saw it as a found family story in the same way that treasure planet, brother bear, and lilo and stitch are all found family stories.

[sailorblossoms]

Let my contribution for Simon's birthday be "let's make something out of my overthinking to unpack his funny little violent brain" (I saw this being shared on twitter dot com like "you're not fooling anyone Simon" and "why would he say thaaaat??" and I think I have an idea of why...)

First of all, I think CO gives enough to let the reader know Simon doesn't know himself, doesn't understand romance/desire (yet) and practically brainwashes himself to make everything around him fit into the narrative shaping his life... but thank fuck we got the sequels. CO Simon feels very "incomplete" to me after getting the full picture of the character in the trilogy – the sequels even reframe or give deeper insight into his thoughts and actions etc in CO.

CO Simon rarely hands over answers straightforwardly, especially when it comes to romance, because he himself doesn't know yet (even if the feelings are already there). Note Simon's "kissing is new, the wanting to kiss" in CO as if he has never wanted to kiss Baz before he actually kisses him vs Simon in awtwb going "I always want to kiss you. I always have" in the context of talking about the past (he was specifically asked if he wanted to kiss Baz in 5th year – he bullshits for a bit and takes his time, but that "I always have" is the true answer).

When Simon shares how much he missed Baz every summer (the longest he went without seeing him) in WS he's not pulling that out of his ass. One of the first things Simon does, something that it's introduced as an essential part of the character (alongside stuff like "he's attuned to danger because he has to," "he knows how to fight" etc) is that Baz consumes his every thought. Iirc he starts talking about him on page 2 or so. In a life or death situation, his head goes to him. He's talking about Baz, sharing so much about him (and not generic info either, but shit you have to pay attention to know) way before he even brings up his "list of things and people he misses about his favorite place in the world."

Think about Simon in CO sulking because he's eating alone and Baz isn't paying him attention like "this is why he doesn't get dates" as if this was a date and he's being neglected. He calls Baz a creep or something there, even though Baz is not doing anything even remotely creepy. He's just reading, but that's the problem: he's doing something that takes his attention away from Simon, instead of eating with Simon (food=love and connection in the series). It tells you that Simon just gets a bit nasty without actually meaning it, or that when something unsettles him, he tends to go for the easiest (maybe even negative) explanation, rather than unpacking his feelings.

There's only one time I could genuinely see Simon being "creeped out" by Baz, and one has to remember that Simon figuring out Baz is a vampire wasn't an accident. He actually "investigated" and looked for proof, but before that, the signs must have been genuinely unsettling (the image of Baz's mouth when it fills with teeth in his sleep, when it's dark and quiet and you're expecting a regular human, could be nightmare-inducing). Even more given that they were just kids and Simon was being trained to fight all sorts of dark creatures.

The thing is: you don't follow guys who genuinely creep you out. You want them the fuck away from you. Simon might have tried to change roommates, but he was following Baz everywhere when he absolutely didn't have to (he was making damn sure he was close and seated whenever Baz wanted to dedicate time to his passions and hobbies). When he says it was "to prove he's a vampire" in CO, he states it with absolute conviction, but it turns out the little bitch already knew for sure before he started stalking him, he just didn't want to confront the real reason he wanted to follow him then. He even looks back at this in awtwb like "there's obviously no heterosexual explanation for me starting to follow you everywhere in 5th year" and even has the gall to look exasperated at Baz not getting that "I'm just trying to prove you're a vampire" was bullshit (Simon clearly does a lot of thinking about his true feelings for Baz in the year that passes after CO).

To top it off, while the vampirism might have genuinely unsettled him at first (a valid reason to be creeped out) a Simon that is getting to know and tries to be honest with himself just tells you is hot. He's into Baz being a vampire and all things Baz.... Also, he does things like saying "he's ruthless and mean" and whatever in CO, and you think he's seeing this as something negative, but he's actually into this too. Hell, he's even like "how dare him being hot" like it's a personal affront.

So when CO Simon is like "he's a creep and I totally mean it" I wouldn't take it too seriously or even as a bad thing (because it's Baz). He's not actually presenting you with something about Baz that puts him off (like people normally would be doing when using "creep"). Baz might have had a bit of a severe-goth-vampire air in his gel-wearing days – a regular person who finds him hot might not feel inclined to associate that with "creep," but Simon is used to feeling angry and uncomfortable and unsettled, so I'm not surprised he goes to "off-putting words" so easily, even if what he's feeling is attraction or romantic love or the desire to have Baz's attention (to be on Baz's mind as much as Baz is on his). Even when what he's expressing is that Baz's presence has the power to make him feel calm or settled in an unfamiliar place. That it makes him feel home – that's the essence of what he's conveying in that part I'm sharing at the beginning of the post... if Watford feels like home to Simon and that's connected to sharing a room and sleeping next to Baz, then what does that make Baz? What does that say about the fact that sleeping without feeling Baz close to him is simply not the same? That he doesn't sleep as well without him?

I'm even inclined to think "he's a creep/he creeps me out" might be Simon's version of mental pigtail pulling. (I think about MRB, the official AU that tries to keep their essence, and iirc Simon is mentally calling Baz a "creep" and a "vampire" after he's already following him around and trying to catch him showing skin. He's already thirsting when he says that! He might also be sulking there since Baz is a disaster and not making a move haha). That kid thing where you insult that person you like, behaving like you don't like them at all for whatever reason. (And also not a kid thing, given that lighthearted "insults" are them actually flirting when they're together. That whole scene in their room in SFC when they're talking about cake and how Simon heard about that place and the "insults" and Baz pretending to leave without kissing Simon goodbye it's all basically foreplay.)

[fabuloustrash05]

My Review of Mutant Mayhem

Warning: SPOILERS

The animation was AMAZING!! From the colors to the facial expressions to the fight choreography, it all looks so good!

It took me a while for me to get used to the Turtles designs and voices but after finally seeing the movie and watching them talk and move, I can say now that I do love them, though I'm still not crazy about Raph's design…

If you know me then you know I'm not too big of a fan of the idea of Splinter not being a human at all, but for this movie it makes sense as to why he was always a rat and never human. Him being a rat from the start and hating humans ties in with the movies message about being accepted and even has a little connection/parallel with the main villain Superfly. I am still kind of upset that Splinter has no connection to Hamato Yoshi (that we know of rn).

Another reason why I don’t like the idea of Splinter never being a human or Hamato Yoshi is because I feel like it takes away the ninja aspect of their story, but the way they explain why they’ve ninjas was actually hilarious. Splinter and the boys learned how to be ninjas through YouTube tutorials, which makes so much sense for this day and age with how many people claim they are experts at something simply because they read or watch something online. 

Leo was my favorite turtle in this movie, I loved his personality/character and how serious but dorky he was. He’s trying so hard, I love his hopeless romantic side, and how he wants to listen to his dad but also have fun with his brothers, so he’s stuck in a tug or war with himself. He was precious and I love him.

Leo having a crush on April actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. His crush on her was genuinely sweet and it wasn't shoved down our throats like in other versions *cough* 2012 & Bayverse *cough* I like that he asks her to prom, which I thought was very cute and a nice ending for Leo.

I'm surprised how quickly they killed off Baxter Stockman, but his "son" Superfly was a really cool villain to take his place. Ice Cube did an amazing job! But I’m not full convinced Stockman is dead. There’s no evidence that he’s still alive but knows. Maybe they’ll pull an 03 Stockman and make come back as a robot in the sequel.

The other mutants were also really fun, but I wish they had more screen time. And truth I felt like they added too many Mutants and I felt like a few of them could've been removed from the film but overall they were a fun cast!

Mondo Gecko and Mikey instantly becoming besties was nice. And I loved Bebop and Rocksteady's Bromance.

Mikey twerking was NOT needed in this film.

I like how the "milking" joke actually came full circle when the turtles were kidnapped by Cynthia.

Splinter vs the TCRI soldiers was my second favorite part of the movie, The animation was so well done in the choreography of the fight was amazing and had great detail.

My overall favorite part was the sequence of the Turtles confronting each one of Superfly’s leads. How the scene would sync up and cut back-and-forth to each brother fighting different gang members. The music during the scene was so well done and the animation with how it tied in with each brother was peak cinema. 

April’s little arc of getting over being camera shy was cool and actually helped save the Turtles and NYC. But the April puking joke went on for too long. The fact they showed it longer than I excepted felt wrong.

I’m happy that Splinter got a girlfriend by the end but please don’t ever show us him making out with Scumbug ever again. *flashbacks to 2012 Raph making out with an ant*

My favorite joke was when the Turtles were like “Eventually Superfly will run out of cars to throw at us, right??” *Superfly turns to see he’s right new to a parking garage* LMFAO XD

There was a lot of modern day references and slang in this movie and a lot of people say this movie is gonna be outdated in 5-10 years but I feel that’s gonna be part of the movies charm. We’ll have to see in 5-10 years…

Superfly’s mutant army (Mondo Gecko, Bebop, Rocksteady, Leatherhead etc) got redeemed way too quick. All it took was one heartfelt speech and suddenly they weren’t down to kill all humans. Like they seemed really excited about it during the bowling scene?? Gave me Shrek 3 vibes. I was confident that Mondo Gecko was gonna change but all of them was unexpected but I’m happy regardless by the end that the Turtles have a bigger family.

I loved the sequence of the people of New York helping the Turtles and their mutant friends stop Superfly. I feel we’ve never seen that done before and in truth, New Yorkers ramming their cars into a giant kaiju Superfly IS something New Yorkers would do! XD

The ending I did not expect, the Turtles actually being excepted by all of New York, and actually getting to go to high school. This was so new and fresh, and I absolutely loved it and I can't wait to see more of it in the TV show and the sequel.

Also there’s a mid credit scene.

It starts off very cute with the Turtles doing high school shenanigans: Mikey in joining improv, Donnie with his “people” (lol), Raph joining the wrestling team, Leo and April starting a conspiracy vlog, and finally them at prom, but then it cuts to Cynthia, who it’s revealed she is secretly watching them. She talks to her second in command about wanting to catch the Turtles and get revenge. She then basically says that she “knows a guy” that can help and it cuts to a shot of someone outside the city….

SHREDDER IS COMING

But sadly no Casey…

[welcometololaland]

Thanks for the self-rec asks! I'm feeling very...not into my own ao3 right now so INSTEAD i'm going to send the asks on and tell you five things (in no particular order) that i've been thinking about this week <3

ONE: Swimming - I NEED TO FINISH THE SWIM FIC AKA THIS AMAZING WORK BY @carlos-in-glasses. I started reading and then I went overseas and I felt like I didn't have the time to go through and scream line by line and I'm so excited to dive back in (hehe see what I did there) now that it's finished!

TWO: State parks and secret service agents - not necessarily together, but I've been lowkey dreaming of obtaining my own slightly insane-looking garden gnome and a stock tank for a while thanks to the beautiful fic created by @iboatedhere (I don't have a pool and a stock tank seems like a good option right now). Also the secret service AU snippets are life giving (recent one here).

THREE: Guaranteeing nothing - screamed (literally) my way through the first fourteen chapters of Never a Guarantee and now I need to finish it!!!! @clottedcreamfudge and her writing make me so fucking feral in the best way and this fic is no exception. I had much fear about my sanity going into this because I knew it was going to drive me wild but my crops have been watered and I eagerly await completion of the arcs.

FOUR: Mythical things (aka. a dearly beloved universe) - to be fair, I'm not sure I ever stopped thinking about Jen's masterpiece - as if you were a mythical thing - because it lives rent free in my head (genuinely one of my favourite fics ever). I'm thinking about it a lot more now that @strandnreyes has put the idea of writing a sequel in my head (snippet is here). A re read is in my sights and I'm very excited about it! If you haven't read it, you absolutely have to.

FIVE: TK and Carlos getting unprofessional - @rmd-writes and I have been playing around in this document for ages, co-writing something so silly it borders on crack and it's the most fun I've had writing fic in ages (thank you to @celeritas2997 for putting up with us lol). Everything I do by myself seems so hard right now but this feels so easy and (I think it's fair to say) it's almost done? 1 and a little bit more chapters? I'm EXCITE. You can read the most recent snippets of the fic colloquially known as "(un)profesh" here (rmd) and here (me).

ALSO to anyone who has shared a doc link with me - I promise I am also thinking very hard about those and will give them the time and attention they deserve when I get home! I never know whether people like me specifically mentioning those types of things so I'll just like...sit down but please know i'm thinking of you and sorry that I haven't been around much!

[carsonian]

Cap-IM Rec Week: Absolute Faves Monday

@cap-ironman, in no particular order:

"One-Man Army" by Captain_Panda

Takes place immediately after the Chitauri attack in Avengers 1. Steve is running himself into the ground. Tony notices. Then Steve gets knocked down hard. And Tony intervenes.

Mt. Everest. The fic that I've made 20+ fanarts for, the one that's been ricocheting around my noggin since I first read it. Ahh, OMA. You big, bombastic beauty.

"Role of a Lifetime" by Annie D (scaramouche) (@no-gorms)

It’s been almost a year since Tony was rescued from the Ten Rings by SHIELD. In this time, Tony has forged a new path for Stark Industries and taken on a new under-the-radar role as a consultant for SHIELD. Tony’s SHIELD job eventually brings him into contact with the newest Captain America, who’s a pretty cool guy, though for security reasons Tony can’t know his real name or see his face without the Captain America mask. This is also about the time that Tony notices a certain Mr. Stevens, a new hire in SI’s corporate office...

This AU….this AU… I tell ya, THIS AU….this is some high-quality, top-grade, cutting-edge, organically grown, grass-fed, imdb ten of ten, five-star michelin, test-tube perfection, new york bestseller, billboard luster, knockout buster shiz.

"Meso Park" by Captain_Panda

As the head theropod keeper for A.I.M.'s extraordinary new project, Steve Rogers wants a smooth summer opening. Then the unthinkable happens, on the same day the investor of a lifetime arrives, ready to throw his support behind the world's most ambitious theme park. Can Meso Park survive the upheaval? Can Steve? Tune in to this dinosaur-themed adventure inspired by Michael Crichton's classic, Jurassic Park.

I've said it many times before, I'll say it again: if Meso Park has 100 fans, I'm one of em. If Meso Park has 10 fans, I'm one of em. If Meso Park has 1 fan, that fan is me. If Meso Park has 0 fans, I am no longer alive. It's not yet finished and I'm already sure it's the fic of the decade. That's just Meso Park for you.

"Gather Ye Rosebuds" by lazywriter7

It isn’t like that, for many people. For them, love is the point: the axis around which everything else revolves, the destination at the end of a long, tumultuous journey. Realisation, confession, resolution. Happy ending. That’s how it goes. And love was a point in Tony Stark’s journey, except it came towards the beginning, rather than the end. The issue, instead of the solution. He hasn’t been alone on the trip, of course. Steve’s been there: sometimes three steps behind, sometimes waiting up ahead by the turn of the road. They’ve sprinted and stumbled, sometimes stood still and refused to move on ahead, sometimes thought of turning away altogether. Steve and Tony’s story began after they fell in love, and this is about how they fell in everything else.

I read this Way Back When, and I remember thinking I'd never seen such a convincing portrayal of MCU SteveTony and how a genuine relationship between the two of them could emerge while still accounting for (hold your puke) canon. Still rock-solid all the way through; knock against the fic at any point, and it will answer back with a fun two-part joke. Lush stuff.

"The First Time I Went Dancing Sober" by schemingreader

Steve Rogers is a great physical therapist who works with sick kids. Tony Stark is a damaged biotech engineering genius who really wants to be one of the good guys.

I've recc'd this before so I won't blabber on but rest assured it is heartwrenchingly good.

"But Your Spirit is Untainted; I Can Dedicate You Still" by BlossomsintheMist (@blossomsinthemist)

The incursions crisis is over, and Steve and Tony have gotten back together, but nothing is the same as it was. Fearing that things are broken between them forever, Steve asks Tony something unexpected to try to make things right. Or, Steve asks if Tony really meant what he said when he asked Steve to hurt him. Sequel to Might Have Cherished You More Wisely.

I couldn't give less of a FUCK that this isn't technically finished. It is finished, to ME. The character-building in this story is just rich and fleshy and the stuff of true finesse. I read this every once in a while just to have the taste of masterful storytelling on my tongue. You should, too ;)

"Sins of Omission" by Kiyaar (@kiyaar)

A Post-Civil War, Pre-Secret Invasion AU where Steve is dead, Tony's a mess, and everything sucks. In which Tony deals poorly with Steve's death, falls off the wagon, sees ghosts, and misses a lot. Oh, and the Skrulls are about to invade.

When I first came across this fic, I devoured it in about 2 days and proceeded to be devoured by it for the next 2 months. :) Lovely stuff!

"Catechism" by manic_intent (@manic-intent)

Inspired by fanart seen on tumblr, this is an End of Days story, with all the Avengers as Archangels. Tony had always known that he was a special snowflake. He just hadn't realized exactly how special.

Listen. I'm a simple gal. This ticks off all the boxes, uh-hello!

"not gruesome, just human" by isozyme (@isozyme)

“I need to crash on someone’s couch for a while. Your couch. I need to crash on your couch,” Tony says. Steve’s mouth opens. If he asks why Tony’s going to bolt, he can feel the certainty of it under his sternum. He doesn’t have a sternum anymore, just a tangle of metal under his skin. Too many things have punched through it to get to his heart. There hasn’t been enough bone left to reconstruct anything made of flesh in a long time. “There’s borscht on the stove,” Steve says.

Raw. Punchy. Kind of makes me want to weep. Kind of makes me smile. Lotsa stuff that you can only write about when you've been down and which after reading will lift you right back up.

And I'll stop myself there because I could definitely just go on and on and on.

Go forth: SteveTony lovers, fuckers, ambassadors, champions, perverts, freaks, losers, dreamers, legends! Read, re-read, kudo, comment, spread legs and spread love.

[raehs]

misc rey headcanons !!!

gifted with psychometry. it's not something they're typically has control of due to the lack of training she has in the sequels but in prequels au's she was able to be taught things to help her control it. it's also why she gets overwhelmed with emotions so easily.

rey is a very skilled fighter. they're also very intelligent ( knows multiple languages, and understands technology and spaceships very well )

her favorite things include tinkering with things, rain, PLANTS, animals, the ocean, and nature. it might be a force-sensitive thing to be very in tune with nature but regardless, it's something she loves and appreciates ( she's always careful when walking around nature, makes sure to not step on flowers, respect it, etc ). she's also a big reader and will read manuals FOR FUN.

flying spacecraft is one of their favorite things, even if there's nowhere to go. being in the sky is one of the most freeing things for her to experience.

they're very susceptible to the dark side but has always chosen the light.

her fighting style is very messy. this is verse-dependent. she's not afraid to fight, pull your hair, fight dirty. she's a very capable fighter and easily angered so if she feels threatened she might (probably will) attack.

on jakku, it hardly rained. and yet some of her own water supply went to a little plant she had.

on jakku, while there was genuinely nobody looking out for them, i imagine there was this crazy old lady who taught her a few things. like the basics on how to read, maths, a bit of history, survival stuff. she gave rey the basics to let her explore further on her own. in a way, rey taught herself everything from the basics she was given. so rey will likely pronounce things wrong since she had nobody to bounce things off of. she's also fluent in many languages but not fluent in speaking.

they were left with unkar plutt and he basically controlled everything she did. ( i wouldn't say she was ever SOLD, she wasn't a slave or anything like that but he was very controlling ( she was prob more of an indentured servant? bc since her parents didn't come back for her he made her make up the debt / work for him but by the time tfa happens she's independent ) ! but he basically controls all the workers on jakku bc he's the only one around with food, so. it's bc most on jakku are poor and don't have other choices. she was his favorite scavenger so he controlled the jobs she took, and would typically make sure she only took his jobs, the lack of food she'd be given, made sure she couldn't leave even if she wanted to + didn't see her as a person which reflected on rey's identity issues and not knowing who or what she is ). very manipulative, instilled in her head that she was a nobody and nothing and didn't matter in the galaxy. he also made her work right away. so she was like. five years old and working all day in the heat. the few good things he gave her was making her figure out how to survive on her own and he kept other scavengers from bothering her / stealing her stuff. and also was a person she NEVER wanted to become.

rey's name is taken from the dosmit raeh helmet she has on jakku ! but her birthname was kira. kira kenobi.

if rey had a gun tlj + tros wouldn't have happened bc she would've taken down the entire first order with sheer willpower and spite.

rey was visited by various force ghosts as a child, whether she was aware/remembers is tbd.

rey doesn't actually remember most of her childhood. she gets brief flashbacks in dreams but that's the extent of it. she doesn't remember what her father looked like but vaguely remembers her mother.

when rey has her own lightsaber, it's dual-bladed lightsaber staff that can also split in half to form two separate lightsabers. she prefers it in the staff form.

i DO like the idea of rey's parents actually caring for her and they were killed by palpatine / the first order / the sith who wanted rey bc they knew she'd be a powerful force user ! but it wouldn't be bc she's a palpatine who would inherit the sith legacy or w/e but because she's a kenobi. i can't really vibe with parents who genuinely didn't care for rey or abandoned them on purpose.

rey wasn't born on jakku. i think she was either born on coruscant, OR hyperkarn ( her mothers homeworld which is a forest planet.

rey is bisexual, but leans more towards demisexual, potentially grey-ace. she very much needs to develop a deep bond with someone to consider anything.

rey would identify as non-binary, but is very fluid in it. they're ok with typical feminine descriptions ( woman/girl, daughter, etc ). they have a connection to womanhood + girlhood while simultaneously feeling outside of it. ( rey's so me, actually ) so she/they/any pronouns are fine! i will either go back and forth with pronouns or choose one in a thread and stick to it.

[bettsfic]

(Love on Display is the series name for ASE and its sequel)

okay so for this commentary i went through my ASE tag to read the asks i'd gotten about it because i can't really remember the whole process, and found this response i'd written:

you know how like when you read or watch something, you kind of look for the character you relate to most? when i was rereading the hunger games last month i was thinking, i don’t relate to a single one of you bitches. and then annie shows up like “nope nope nope i can handle exactly 0% of this bullshit” and i was just, ah there i am

looking back on my mental health issues, the irony is that i was writing about madness in a time i was actually pretty stable, despite the pandemic being in full swing. i remember writing ASE throughout summer, sitting on my grandma's porch swing and admiring her garden, going inside only when it got dark enough for the fireflies to come out. at the time, i was approaching my third year of rejections on the original fiction front; i'd been querying agents for over a year and submitting short stories, and i felt like i wasn't getting anywhere. i was also about to start a phd program, which i was apprehensive about, to say the least. i wish i'd listened to that "i have a bad feeling about this" instinct.

tbosas had just come out (to almost no attention or acclaim; even now with the film coming out in a couple weeks, the gifsets i've been reblogging don't get a lot of traffic and the tag only has 250 fics in it) and so i read it, loved it, and immediately re-read the hunger games with the new lens of snow's origin story.

the hunger games is one of the few things that i think is completely worth the hype. it's a beautifully written series and i really admire it. tbosas i thought was even better, because it felt like suzanne collins had full creative control. it's not easy writing a villain origin story and i think she really managed to thread the needle with coriolanus as a POV character who is really the antagonist of two protagonists whose POVs we don't have access to.

anyway as soon as i finished re-reading the hunger games, i went back to read the one thg fic i'd written after the film series concluded, the baker's son. it wasn't as bad as i remembered it, because 2015-16 were the years i was really starting to figure out how to write, so everything from that time in my memory is hand-wavy at best. but i remember thinking, this could have been really good if i'd just taken my time with it.

back then, i never took my time with anything. i had so many ideas that i had to churn through them in order to get to the next one. when you're just starting out writing, you haven't followed through on enough ideas to know how to sort through them properly and find the ones that have legs. so i was still learning how to control my attention.

and so ASE marked a huge change in the way i viewed my own work and the reception thereof. i was getting nowhere in publishing, i was no longer in one single fandom and so i didn't really have a community, and i finally realized the only guarantee i would ever have is my own joy. that changed everything.

i know i'll always love the hunger games, because i genuinely believe it's good. it's engaging and entertaining and meaningful. before, i'd written for canons i actually didn't like, because communities had formed around them and i was inspired by what i felt was unmet potential in canon. but i know i'll never rewatch supernatural or the 100. in fact i didn't finish either of them. with big fandoms, sure, i get more traffic and comments. but i'd stopped writing for traffic and comments. i wrote ASE because it was fun, and i knew in 10 years i'd read the hunger games again, and i would want my perfect fixit fic. and i would want it to be long, and well thought out, and something i could be proud of.

i've kept that "i'm writing for my 40 year old self" mentality for all my writing. at 40, i want to look back at what i wrote at 30 and know it was time well spent because it made me happy during a hard time in human history. it's a lot easier to make creative decisions when you're writing for an audience of your future self.

with tbosas coming out soon, i'm hoping to finish the coriojanus fic i started in 2020 (i think it's 7k?). and looking back through my ASE tag i also saw how many ideas i had for finnick POV and i could see myself fiddling around with a few of those prompts eventually.

[fipindustries]

scott pilgrim vs the canon

boy you better have this tagged against spoilers because otherwise this is going to ruin a lot of stuff. all im going to say is, this show cannot be watched without having read the comic first so. keep that in mind.

scott pilgrim was the seminal work of my generation, it was the thing that defined us and the internet to a large extent after it came out in full back in 2010. now we are all here back again, in our late 20's, 30's and even 40's to take a second look at this franchise after everything that has been going on.

and this franchise had things to say.

i went in expecting scott pilgrim the comic, this time more lavishly (and faithfully) adapted than the movie could have ever been. suffice to say i was not dissapointed at all because i didnt get that in any way what so ever.

this is in some senses the modern cannibals of the scott pilgrim franchise, perhaps less cynical and bitter. this is an examination of this story from a slightly askew angle. this is a what if that takes itself to another level.

those who say that this "feels like fan fic" are half right, but if so i want to see what fan fics they are reading because i never saw a fanfic that take the world and its characters so wildly out of context, put them in outrageos new situations they would have never been in, do some genuine crack slash ships and yet still feel so genuine, so true to the original. just because none of what is happening here happened in the comic that doesnt mean these arent the characters we know and love and that this isnt the world and the mood and the vibe that that we all grew up with.

the brian lee o malley style is so incredibly hard to capture. its this wonderful mix of over the top anime/cartoony action mixed with incredibly grounded, down to earth, super chill vibe. we've seen the wonders that came out during the 2010's made by other artists inspired by it or directly trying to emulate it, and yet none of them were able to capture it quite right and this show is the bona fide real deal. it made me remember why scott pilgrim captured me so much back when i read it as a teenager, its a mood impossible to reproduce and yet reproduced all the same here in this show.

wonderful.

the animation is of course out of this world. the voice acting could do some work but im willing to let it slide considering that they went with the original cast from the movie.

this story feels almost like an answer to the observation many people made at the end of the comic and specially the end of the movie. that scott and ramona were obviously not meant to last. that they were still too young and too messed up as people and the relationship was probably going to end badly. the show examines all that with raw honestly and concludes at the end that, sure, maybe this is not going to work out. but that doesnt mean they shouldnt give it their best shot.

as i said at the beggining, this has to be understood as an addenum to the comic. it starts as an adaptation, it lulls you into thinking its a wacky what if and ends up being a covert sequel. with that in mind, this show understands that you already understand and know who scott is and what his deal is, so it chooses to focus squarely on ramona and the exes, and let me just say. the exes are the fucking break out stars of this show. i love every single one of them. the fact that each of them get their own little mini arc and a chance to either redeem or at the very least become genuenly sympathetic was absolutely brilliant. these guys are amazing.

this story in general just presents such a feel good, likeable, chill athmosfere, where even villains who seemed irredeemable can still have just a calm conversation with the hero and just chat for a while. share a coffee, wind down.

if i had one single complaint at all is that i was a little sad by the implication that scott wont learn his lesson at the end of the original story and will continue to be kind of a clueless immature douche. but it is tempered by the fact that this story still has a lot of sympathy for young scott and it makes the case that the guy still very much deserves a chance.

so yeah

loved it, great work, it tried to do something super weird and it somehow succeeded. good job 9/10

[phil-lesterfan]

yaoi scholar….. pls i finished the untamed and word of honor what should my next drama be 👀 (happy endings only pls)

also i wanna know your fav bls. if you’ve the time!!

hallo! i didn't mean to let this sit for so long, but i've been using my phone more and don't like answering asks there. i don't actually know many cdramas, but i've got other dramas to rec, if that's alright!

(C/K/J)DRAMAS/LAKORNS:

sotus & sotus s (thai)*

history3: trapped (taiwanese)

seven days (japanese)*

manner of death (thai)*

restart after coming back home (japanese)*

together with me (thai)

long time no see (korean)

semantic error (korean)*

you can watch 2moons2 for the full story, but honestly, the original 2moons mingkit cut is everything to me (thai)*

*based off novel/manga/manhwa

20 of my fav bls under the cut :)

initially, i was going to call it my "top 10", but it's not my top ten, it's just favs that i really love or think you (sara) would also enjoy. so it's just 20 "random" favs. if you (general) want, i can upload the 200+ long list and even include "reviews" of my favourites, but i'll only do that upon request. also here's my blanket rec for mxtx's works. svsss is my fav. i'm very easy. thank you <3

20 OF MY FAV BLS:

sotus is very dear to my heart. i watched it right before i went to university, so it really set that mood for me lol it's not a perfect story, the audio is shit at some parts, and the acting was sometimes stiff, but when the show hit, my fucking god did it HIT. of course i roped all my friends into watching it. it was based on a novel, but the novel didn't particularly stand out to me (sorry). there's also a manga now (3 vols) but i'm just loyal to the show, y'know? it also has a sequel, and that one made one of my friend cry (i actually had to pause the show lol), but for me, the first season is what's rly stellar. (lakorn / rewatches: 4? 5? a lot?)

sasaki and miyano by syou harusono is such an easy read, with lovely art, cute characters, and the softest, sweetest romance. it makes me feel like i've been hit by a car, then the car backed up and drove over me again. sasaki is the light of my life (and also if i looked like him, i'd never shut up. and i project just a little bit too bc oh he just like me fr), and everyday i think about making him my pfp. i owe syou harusono my life. i want to say more about this bc it rly is my fav manga perhaps of all time but that also means i can't say more about it LOL (manga / rereads: 6)

the cat proposed (bakeneko katatte sourou) by hayane dento is quite possibly the best manga i've ever read. the writing is so beautiful, and it's a really relatable and inspiring story for me. plus it's got catboys. *motions to my dnp catboy pfp* but in all seriousness, it's a genuinely great story that squeezes my heart and leaves me in tears (manga / rereads: 5)

doukyuusei is a certified bl classic. i've not read the entire manga series, but i've got the anime film saved to my laptop. that was another thing i roped all my friends into watching, and yes, everyone was gagged (animanga / rewatches: 4?)

koimonogatari by tagura tohru is incomplete, and the "love" part isn't there yet, but my fucking god. i think i just picked it up for funsies at the bookstore, but man was i unprepared. it's not a fun read by any means, nor is it easy, it's actually pretty brutal, but it's a good story, so i felt i should include it. (it is one of my faves) (manga / rereads: none bc i will kill myself.)

summer of you (kimi wa natsu no naka) by furuya nagisa changed me. it was one of those manga that was in my to read list for a really long time, but i just never did it. when i finally did, i totally regret putting it off. i think i cried. it has a sequel (summer with you), and that was good too, but that first one just really got me (manga / rereads: 1)

fools by yeongha has an art style i will forever be jealous of. the original, that is. i'm sure the remastered version is great, and probably the one i should read, but i'm just way too attached to the original and the art is (in my opinion) way better. the story is fun and sweet, and i read it at another formative time in my life. *jazz hands* (manhwa / rereads: 3)

my darling signed in by dimang and new lung. if there's one thing about me, i'm gonna read a video game catfish story. this manhwa is so fucking ridiculous, but i love it. it actually gets pretty dark, which took me by surprise the first time i read it, but it's not between the main cp, if you're worried about that (manhwa / rereads: 3)

dasadanan by herb mandu also has just lovely art. i can just stare at it for ages bc i'm so obsessed. also there's side gl, and i love those two girls so damn much. the story is very easy to read, fluffy, and it's just good feelings all around. it also has some really silly extras. (manhwa / rereads: 4)

history3: trapped is so... it is also dear to me. the main couple is funny and cute; however, it's the side couple that really gets to me. they're so ridiculous and fun, and the actor for zhao zi is an acrobat? does acrobatic dance? i'm not sure exactly, but they wanted to showcase that so he'd just be doing some random gymnast shit for no reason and it's so funny. and jack was made in a lab for me, so. y'know. (drama / rewatches: 2, about to be 3)

glasses cloth and playlist by gwak jonpil was recommended to me by a friend i believe, and i'm so glad i read it. it's another easy read and also very ridiculous, but when i say something is "ridiculous", that's usually a huge compliment. i LOLed at, like, every other panel. the main cp is so damn ridiculous, and i adore them. (manhwa / rereads: 1)

starting with a lie by liang azha has the softest art i've ever seen. that manhua is like a warm hug, if a warm hug also had you gritting your teeth and clenching your fists because GODDAMN JUST GET TOGETHER FOR REAL ALREADY! i love it. oh, but i don't like qiu tian. sorry. (manhua / rereads: 2)

how to survive as a villain by yi yi yi yi is... look, i'm sure it has flaws, right? every story has flaws, but wherever they are, i did not see them. i mean, it's a little bit ridiculous at times, but again, "ridiculous", and the mc was transmigrated into a once-good now-trashy harem novel. and he's also smart but oblivious. bound to be a little bit silly. but also this novel ripped out my heart and stomped on it. and i thought it wouldn't happen with the manhua, but i cried then too. what the hell. i really enjoyed this story, and i think it's what got me into transmigration stories in general :P (danmei / rereads: 2)

a shoulder to cry on by dongmul. okay. OKAY. this is not a "happy" story to most. also the ending without the extras/epilogue is bittersweet to ambiguous. the issue here is that I LOVE ENDINGS LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!! this story is so damn good and i like the art a lot and god, some of the quotes? every time i reach certain scenes i have to pause and stare at the wall because no fucking way. it's just too good. i should go ahead and warn that the couple doesn't have the healthiest of dynamics and their relationship starts bc one of them lies and accuses the other of sexual harassment, so. i'm just letting you know now. but i let myself have toxic yaoi. as a treat. tbh to me it's not that bad, but i know everyone has different intensity levels, so. (manhwa / rereads: 3)

never understand by bbong is an... interesting read. arguably more toxic yaoi, and everyone at times can be kind of awful and annoying, but i think that's fun. sorry. i vividly remember reading this for the first time. for some reason. also, as with a good amount of manhwa that i read in my more formative years, i like this art style. (manhwa / rereads: 1)

semantic error by j soori and angy kim is a lot more graphic and hardcore (sex-wise) than the kdrama, which makes sense, but like... DAMN! my toxic trait is that every three panels i pause and go "hey does anyone else think these guys look like jaedo?" and the sniper that's supposed to shoot me any time i bring up rps lets me live because i'm objectively right. the characters are so damn infuriating, but i like watching car crashes, so it's alright. plus the art is good and, well, i never said i don't ship jaedo. *glass next to me explodes after a bullet cuts through it* whatever! (rereads: none bc it ended not that long ago. but i'll probably reread it soon)

no.6 by asano atsuko and here comes all the haters being like, "oh, that's not bl!" "that's more than bl!" "[some more dumb shit i don't care about]!" suck my pussy. i don't care. i loooove the novels and hope we get a printed official english translation. people are right to say the romance isn't the focus, but it's there, and honestly, i love plotty shit. i've heard it's supposed to be the "happy version" of banana fish or whatever the fuck, but damn if that's not a fucked up version of happy. i sobbed my fucking eyes out (novel & animanga / rereads: 2)

snow fairy by serizawa tomo. i'm not gonna lie, i don't remember this story, but on my big list it has a heart next to it, and i feel like i cried when i read it. i've said i've cried about like half of these, and i cry when i see something cute or when i think about my blorbo or when a song is pretty, so that means nothing. but this one really got to me! i think it was just a simple story with lovely art. it aches, maybe. actually, i've just found my initial review, which reads: "im so miserable....." (rereads: none, but i'd like to reread it asap)

bj alex by mingwa. insert loud and disappointed "ooh" from the crowd bc really, phil-lesterfan? i thought you were a scholar? with taste? LOOK. i know this is a basic manhwa, and i couldn't give a rat's ass about the side cp, but ahn jiwon somehow became pookie. it is agonising, though, 'cause like i said, i don't care about the side cp, but oh my fucking god, it feels like everyone else only cares about them. shoot me. also the side cp is into bdsm, but you can skip over their shit honestly. (rereads: 2)

aien catharsis by oshima kamome was another manga that'd been in my tbr list for ages. i really like how the story feels. aaaaand i just reread it and ah. i see why it affected me. (if you can guess what line stuck out to me, lmk, i'd love to hear it heh) it's historical fiction and has lovely art. tw for sexual assault, but it's not between the cp and it's also not shown. (manga / rereads: 2)

like i said, i have a lot more favs, so if anyone wants the full list, just ask. or if you don't want the full list, i can give rec lists for certain genres or just manga or just danmei, etc, etc. i know i'm in batman hell right now (ah. western yaoi....), but i've been fujoshing since i was like... ten. okay this is of course way longer than it should be. hope u enjoy if you read any of these ^_^ <3

[mediawhorefics]

hií 💗 for the ask game, what's your favourite fanfic of all time?

oh god i read in so many fandoms this feels like an impossible question dhjfjfdg i'm gonna cheat. is that okay? can i cheat? there's no way you're getting just one. sorry not sorry djbkndkjgbd

i guess if i'm answering 100% honestly, it would prob. be not easily conquered which, for those who don't know is a stucky fic and one of the most beautiful pieces of writing i've ever read. some of the quotes from this fic are seared into my brain and i fear will never leave me.

in the 1d fandom tbh it's still tif. i think to me tif is a perfect romcom. i've never read a better one. it's funny, its heartwarming, it's genuine, the miscommunication is handled very well and that quote that describes trying to explain something traumatic that happened to you young as 'like a fish trying to explain what water is' stayed with me for over a decade. it's exactly that. that's exactly what it feels like... i love this fic sm. it's just as good as everyone says and i think its criminal that some newer fandom peeps haven't read it. i can only aspire to be that kind of writer.

i recently went on a spuffy binge read ad discovered summerfrost's works and i have been in absolute awe of their characterization ever since. their writing knocked me the fuck out. nothing safe is worth the drive (follow you home) is prob. my fav but everything i've read from them has been a masterclass in character study.

the poet dean fic is another work that i think is a game changer. if you're remotely interested in deancas/spn this fic is stunning and it features original poetry by the writer that is just.... gorgeous. it makes me want to write poetry and god knows i am not good at that rip.

cinderwings is another spn fic that's ..... incredible. it's such a creative au that perfectly mixes elements from canon and from fairy tales to create something totally new that feels fresh and different. not to mention i've never read a character pov of a quote unquote creature that actually felt like i wasnt reading a human character. it's done so well.

four letter word for intercourse . its the best smut heavy fic i've ever it. its deancas. end of.

i recently started reading good omens fics and Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach ??? w o w. just.... w ow. if you've read the book/watched the show and loved crowley just a little bit... read this. it's an outsider pov and it is so compelling, it's almost impossible to put down. which is a pretty herculean feat imo considering it's all through the eyes of a stranger. its basically crowley in therapy through the eyes of his therapist. incredible.

back in the old days i read a lot of merlin fics and the student prince still has SUCH a special place in my heart as a comfort fav... it's so funny and heartwarming. the perfect magical uni au. it also has an amazing podfic read by the author.

wastelands is probably my favourite star wars fic i've ever read. it's only 9k and ft just before the sequel trilogy leia crash landing on some abandoned world and getting help from a force ghost to repair her ship only to realise it's anakin. it's just.... a beautiful beautiful character study and a look into their relationship and it ties in with some kylo stuff.

you could dress this wound is a tsn fic where mark starts seeing pain as light on people and develops some empathy/starts seeing the world (and his relationship to eduardo) differently as a result.

best practices in workplace relationships is nothing special. except its heartfelt and funny and i've read it countless times over the past ten years. so many times. it's the assistant wardo fic. it's fun. i love her.

also anything that @helloamhere writes but ESP the anakin/padme/obi fic she wrote partly because of me.

i think thats it... like... off the top of my head today right now.

oh and i guess.... if it's not arrogant to say it ? maybe tts ? just... i'm very very proud of it and it's very special to me. i dont think its better than any fic ive listed here but it is one of my all time favs because it was a big labour of love from me.

[lesbianlotties]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for tagging me @lilolilyr !! ily <33

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

120 works!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

oh i didn't want to be outed on this but... 1,262,993

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i have written for 18 fandoms! currently i'm only writing for yellowjackets. but i might write more for ronance, i could update the warrior nun fic. and who knows, maybe a new season/movie will get me writing wednesday and the old guard again!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Aftermath Kudos: 3,605 - aka "holy shit a lot of people were reading wednesday fanfic huh??"

make my menace into someone you'd adore Kudos: 2,179 - ronance coworkers enemies to lovers my beloved!

through the grief can't fight the feeling of relief Kudos: 1,381 - very soft warrior nun fic

five times Deena and Sam met in secret (and one time they didn’t)  Kudos: 1,154 - ngl i didn't think fear street fics got these many kudos but this was a lovely time!

Elvis cloned by aliens (you never know...) Kudos: 912 - it's literally insane to me that a one shot got this many kudos! (let's get it to 1k? 👀)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! i think like 99% of the time. i just love it so much. i love saying thank u because i'm genuinely SO thankful for every comment. and i have a feeling if i reply it might inspire people to leave more comments. and also sometimes it's a chance to just talk more about the fic! which i love doing, there's nothing like getting to talk about it

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm i don't love writing angsty endings, as you'll see by the fact that i wrote these two super angsty endings and then i went and wrote a sequel/alternate ending for both ghsjfdghkdfjg but anyway there's:

I'm sorry (it should've been me) - nancy tells robin she loves her but she's too late (in the rain)

If I could hold you for a minute (darling, I'd go through it again) - laura lee reincarnated as the bear and you know what happened to it

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh most of them lmao hmm i think i’m going to go for these “everyone survived post canon and they move in together to be happy and heal as a family” Extremely Uneventful Subject for tog and Who would I be without you, without them? for yellowjackets

8. Do you get hate on fic?

hmmm no i think that’s never happened! the closest thing might have been someone suggesting i always killed certain character when it’s the entire opposite. or the funny alternative, when someone literally only mentioned the men in the background of the story in every single comment they left lol but even those were mostly nice comments!

9. Do you write smut?

i do yes! not much and i only yielded and started writing it recently but i’ve loved it so far lol four of my most popular yj fics are smut, one of them is one of my favorites ever, and there’s that one ronance fic i posted on anon first… iykyk

10. Do you write crossovers?

i’ve done two! Immortals and Librarians for tog and gunpowder milkshake and (Red) Room For 8 for ocean’s 8 and hill house

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of!! hopefuly not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! 【翻译】Being with you (Makes the flame burn good) by R_H_Felidae_Athena

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried but they haven’t been posted/finished yet :(

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

okay so that’s a Tough question. judging by amount of fic written it’s robin and nancy, my current favorite is lottie and laura lee, but i also just rewatched bly manor and let me tell you, there’s no one at the level of dani and jamie <3

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

there’s too many 😭 going as far back as the ocean’s 8 days there's the haunted house one, then fear street enemies to lovers, my warrior nun fic, yellowjackets coffee shop au, and all the ideas i haven’t even started ghsjfdghjf

16. What are your writing strengths?

oh don't do this to me. i literally never know what to reply to this. i... well i'd like to think i'm good at characterization and maybe dialogue!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

hmm i think i have a serious lack of discipline that means i only write when the mood is right and i will never stick to a schedule or plan or routine lol and okay i'll admit it, i might be too lazy to do the research necessary to write certain things/stories so i just avoid them 😭 but in my defense it's because too much research for academic reasons made me allergic to it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

hm. i did this somewhat regularly with the old guard and in one ronance fic but looking back i don’t love it very much, it’s just okay i guess. this is just for me personally!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

ocean’s 8 hgsjdfghjf closely followed by the haunting of hill house

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

VERY very tough question!! they’re all my babies and i couldn’t possibly pick any fav- actually i have a few! but i’ll keep it to 3 special ones that funnily enough are far from being my most popular ones (pls read them i worked so so hard on them)

God's very simple and love shouldn't burn - aka my lottielee manifesto! 

If you rewrite your life, may I still play a part? - stranger things, nancy wheeler choose your own adventure fic!

my heart (is like a haunted house) - tog, andy falls in love with quynh’s ghost

tagging: @natscatorrcio @dufrau @eskawrites @scorchedhearth @sapphicscience @yee-hawlw @reesesfastbreak (if you want to! no pressure!) and pls pls anyone that sees this and wants to share say i tagged u!

[the-alpha-incipiens]

20 questions for fic writers

shamelessly stolen from @sapphicsandscience <3 questions and rambly answers beneath the read more!

How many works do you have on AO3?

63.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

451,140.

I’m kind of impressed that it’s almost half a million, but also just how much I wrote in the last two years after not writing/publishing anything at all in 2021.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, Star Trek: TNG and PIC. Before that, the fandom I wrote the most for was Once Upon a Time. Everything else was just two or three fics, at least on AO3. I’ve been writing fic for decades so there are A LOT of fics and fandoms that have been lost to time. (Random shout out to Battlestar Galactica, which I wrote for back in my LiveJournal days!)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I’m going to do two sets here, because my All Years one are all OUAT fics no one cares about anymore, and I have enough fics published from this year to have a top five of 2023 so my current fandom has something to read that will make sense to them lol.

All Years

The Fire’s Found a Home in Me - my Dragon Outlaw Queen magnum opus, the one shot collection that makes up the bulk of my Flicker Beat universe that divulges in season four. Technically “unfinished” but complete since it was never intended to have a true ending.

It Happened Once… - a Evil Captain Charming crackfic that honestly has way more kudos than I expected. This one for some reason sees a lot of traction still. It was originally supposed to have a just-as-cracky sequel, but I never finished it.

A Loaded God Complex - ah, Golden Queen, my guilty pleasure OUAT ship. Set in s6, this was the start of a set of one-shots that took the romantic Golden Queen that finally blossomed in that season and ran with it. Mostly involves a lot of dark power struggles masking as sex. Aptly all titled after Fall Out Boy lyrics, if I say so myself.

Put Your Venom in Me - another Golden Queen fic, see above.

The Computation - a little Dragon Queen one-shot I did, short and sweet. Honestly surprised it’s on here, because it’s not my best work by any means.

2023

peace - my Picard/Crusher fic set directly after the epilogue in the PIC s3 finale. I was pleasantly surprised by how much attention this fic has gotten. I had suspected I would end up writing a prequel, but I never thought it’d turn into the four part series that it has. I hope everyone still enjoys it.

Mastermind - the first Star Trek: TNG fic I wrote since I was a teenager watching TNG for the first time! This was entirely thanks to my friend Jess, if I’m remembering correctly? She prompted me to rewrite the season 2 episode “Manhunt” with Beverly in it instead of Pulaski, because my favorite toxic trait of Beverly’s is her jealousy.

what could’ve been, should’ve been (you) - my PIC s3 Picard/Crusher masterpiece. I got the idea for this by the end of episode two, struggled with it as the season went on, and then finally wrangled it into something that I truly love.

in the business of misery - jealous!Beverly makes a reappearance in this s4 TNG fic that fixes QPid. Because fuck Vash, okay.

trustfall - dlfshfsl this fic. If what could’ve been, should’ve been (you) is my PIC masterpiece, I think trustfall is my TNG one. I disparage it a bit by talking as if it’s shameless smut, but honestly I’m quite proud of it as a character piece as Picard and Beverly navigate a new relationship and new dynamics across 11k of words. Set in TNG s3, post-Sarek.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I genuinely appreciate comments, because I find it quite difficult to give them myself, so as a part of trying to be better I also try to respond to comments. I’m an awkward turtle, though, so I feel like I usually end up babbling about things people probably did not care about. If I don’t babble, I usually just leave a short and sweet “thanks for reading” that I hope doesn’t come across as insincere.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Winter Song, a OUAT fic I actually wrote for a holiday fandom advent calendar we did back in the OQ fandom. It’s a wedding fic, and smutty as is my usual, but it’s got a heavy dose of sadness. I sort of tried to make it hopeful in the end, because ending a Christmas fic with no hope felt like I was killing Christmas.

Another OUAT fic I wrote, A Spark to Ignite, was also really angsty, now that I think about it and doesn’t involve any character death (canon or otherwise). It was supposed to have a part two that fixed it but I never wrote it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooh. I’ll be polite and not take “happiest ending” to be dirty, even though I could list SO MANY fics for that. 

bound to break, my Greatest Showman AU that I wrote for Outlaw Queen (OUAT fandom, again) ends pretty cleancut happily after having some angst in the middle. And it’s technically a multi chapter fic, though it’s short lol.

I Know, I Know, I Know (I Feel the Same as You) as my Outlaw Queen college AU always makes me happy when I think about the ending.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not really. I’ve gotten some comments that were definitely unnecessary and mean-spirited, but nothing major. Truthfully, I’m not nearly a big enough deal to get hate.

9. Do you write smut?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, nothing against anyone who doesn’t, but writing smut is basically all I do. It’s what I was known for in my previous fandom. It’s the thing I find the easiest to write, and secretly I suffer from a lot of insecurity because I feel like it’s the only thing I actually write very well. For a bit, in the OUAT fandom, I felt a little like a smut jukebox and it was entirely my own fault. But I wrote a lot of fun things and ultimately I enjoy writing smut.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I definitely have in my distant fic writing past, but nothing recently. OUAT almost counts as a canon crossover, given the story of it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not really. My great network of fic writing friends have definitely provided excellent guidance and suggestions that have been enormously helpful, and that’s the closest I’ve gotten.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Lol I feel like this is impossible to answer? My current hyperfixation is Picard/Crusher, and that’s a ship I’ve loved for a very, very long time. So maybe it’s that. But I’ll always hold a place in my heart for Outlaw Queen and Dragon Outlaw Queen (especially for the latter, since I wrote SO MUCH of it). Adama/Roslin is my OTP from back in my LiveJournal days that will also be special to me.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Funnily enough, it’s not a Star Trek one, even though that’s my current fandom. The WIP I really, really wish I had finished is Where the Burn Marks Form. I had SUCH PLANS for Dragon Outlaw Queen and Calida and got too intimidated by what I wanted to do to actually write it. Sometimes I think it’s for the best though, because I think any remaining DOQ fans might have been sad about what all was supposed to happen (though it was always supposed to have a happy ending).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut. Once upon a time (lol), threesomes in particular. Ironically I used to struggle a bit with writing just two people having sex after writing so much Dragon Outlaw Queen, but I find it not as difficult anymore.

Character voices. Not to brag, but something I pride myself on is getting a character’s voice right. It’s something I work very hard at, and stress a lot over, but generally feel like I succeed.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Literally anything else? You want long, detailed plotty fic? Sorry, can I interest you in a smutty one shot instead. You want something angsty? Not really my style. You want a well-plotted completely alternate universe fic? LOL please, I write fic so I don’t have to world build. Canon compliant or canon divergence or bust, baby.

I write on vibes, and I’m sure sometimes that is blatantly obvious. I have the vaguest of plans whenever I sit down to write something, and I go from there. Probably someday I should try to have actual concrete plans and not just “hmm what if i do this” vibes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Lol okay let me piss off the entire Picard/Crusher fandom real quick: IN MY OPINION, it is annoying to write dialogue in another language unless it’s like… blatantly obvious what you’re saying. Very rarely is there a point to it, and it can be easily sidestepped by “blah blah blah,” he said in French. Basic phrases, sure. Pet names, have at it! Several sentences in another language?

Look I don’t speak French. If you put French in your fic, I’m having to pull out Google translate and heaven help me if it’s dirty talk, because now Google is translating “I want to fuck you,” to English from different languages (French, it’s French, I didn’t have this problem in my other fandoms). I wish if people were going to do that, they’d at least make a footnote (I would 100% be willing to find out how to format it) and!!! I think you can still use html to set it up so that when you hover over text, it gives you a little mouseover text where you can have the translation!!! That way I don’t have to one: try and scroll down to the end notes hoping for a translation and thus breaking my immersion as I scroll back up, or at least if it’s a footnote it’ll have an anchor taking me back to the sentence in question.

Sorry rant over, everyone please continue writing however you wish, I will deal. And honestly if you use the same French phrases enough I’ll learn them anyway, so it won’t matter in the long run. This absolutely is not a deal breaker for me when it comes to reading a fic, it’s just a pet peeve.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Um, probably Harry Potter but that is my long-forgotten days.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

trustfall as mentioned above for Star Trek: TNG. With trustfall, it was maybe the second or third fic I wrote for Star Trek (I mean, at least not counting back when I was in my early teens writing for it) and I really think it's just some of my best work? It's a smut fic, but I think there's really, really good character exploration in it. It easily could have just been a fic where Beverly soft dommes Jean-Luc and all you get is that final scene, but I think the build up really makes it worth it. idk idk I have a lot of feels for this fic lolol.

Wishes in the Dark for OUAT. My key party in Storybrooke fic!! aka my Awkward David fic. I think this is one of the best fics I've written, period, for a lot of the same reasons as above. It's 30k, it's got Dragon Outlaw Queen, but more importantly it's got David lusting after Regina and Mal and getting the chance to sleep with them with Snow's permission... and then also Robin joins in and David realizes some things about himself. There's a whoooole side quest of things that was supposed to happen after this story that I never wrote. It's also got some really tender Evil Charming, because I couldn't resist.

And that's all folks! Thanks for reading if you made it this far, I know I really rambled. <3

[nyxnygma]

Hi, I just read your dating Zsasz work and really like it, would you like to write one about dating Oswald? Fem!Reader please.

Thanks in advance :) 💜

How You Started Dating Oswald Cobblepot

The Penguin x Fem!mooney!Reader

Summary: the title is pretty self explanatory. The reader is just a sweet and soft girl who gets tied up with the infamous Penguin

Warnings: jealousy,mommy issues, not proof read

Masterlist

A/N: I changed it slightly but I’ll make another one where it’s exactly like Zsasz’s headcannons. I’m sorry! I just started did like this and got invested in my own story. I PROMISE I WILL MAKE A SEQUEL ABOUT HOW IT IS LIKE

You met Oswald when he was working for your aunt, Fish Mooney. You were there assisting your aunt with the club and waitressing

You knew about her ties to the mob but you weren’t involved at all, you were just there to serve drinks

You were always fond of the strange man carrying your aunts umbrella and always put yourself in situations where you could talk to him (like ‘accidentally’ bumping into him or giving him messages for your aunt)

You also noticed his suspicious behaviour and quickly caught on to his traitorous behaviour but never told your aunt

Oswald also took a liking to you because you were never rude to him and that’s why when your aunt went missing and he was in charge of club, he kept you as a waitress

You would always smile when you saw him and also greeted him with a friendly smile, he had no idea why you would put yourself in this dangerous position of working for a mobster

He also get suspicious of you as you must know that he is the reason for Fish’s disappearance by now but you don’t say anything and still act your same sweet self

You even gave him advice about his limp

Even after he didn’t talk to you after he became the ‘King of Gotham’ and then he was put into Arkham for murder, you still went to visit him

“Hello Oswald,” You greeted as the cowering man limped into the small meeting room, “or is it Penguin now?”

“Y/N?” He was shocked, “w-what are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” You giggle sweetly, “I’m here to see you! I head about your mother’s passing and it hit me that you may have no one here to visit you.”

No one has ever been so kind or thoughtful to Oswald since his mother died and he even had to hold back tear of joy

You visited him once a week after that

He spoke quietly to you about what they were doing to him in Arkham

When he was released he visited you at your apartment and he even hugged you as he smiled

You knew straight away something was wrong with your dear friend

After he was reunited with his father, he rang you nearly once a day telling you about all the great stuff that was going on for him and you would smile and tell him how great that is (you would never mention how your short on money or how to may be living on the streets soon)

When you heard the rumours about the investigation at Arkham you ran to the Police station to tell Gordon all you knew about what they did to Oswald (who knew nothing about what you were doing)

Of course Harvey and Jim were suspicious of you being aquatinted with Penguin and why you were telling them all this but they needed this information

Skip to when Oswald is running for Mayor

He learnt about your living situation and quickly moved you into his mansion

He was also so kind to make you his assistant

You also came acquainted with Ed Nygma and Butch, they both enjoyed your company as well since yuh were always genuinely kind to them

You did what ever you legally could do to help Oswald (you stuck posters up all around the city, handed out pins on different city blocks, helped him with speeches and poster designs)

When he finally became mayor, you brought Oswald into a big hug and kissed his cheek

“You did it Ozzy!” You smiled and jumped with excitement.

“I know!” He smiled, “Thank you so so much Ed in believing in me.”

It hurt you to see him thank only Ed for only taking back the money, you didn’t care that Ed was made a higher position than you (he was smarter and more cunning than you and is willing to do illegal things)

You believed in Oswald since the start and worked hard in the campaign but you just got pushed out the way

Butch noticed you anger and approached you with his plan if the gang doing a shooting. You politely declined in your involvement in it but did not tell anyone

You have helped him since the beginning

You never hate people, it’s not like you, but the way Oswald was treating Ed and he was forgetting about you

You learnt about Oswald’s little crush quickly (you knew this man inside and out) and you knew it was going to lead to Ed’s demise

But the thing is you were wrong

The crush led to your closest friend dying

You grieved your lost for weeks. It was during this time you realised your feeling for him were not platonic feelings but something else

You were overjoyed when you were reunited with the fully alive Oswald and learnt that Ed was frozen

You made an effort in telling Oswald that you love him without actually telling him but he didn’t catch on

EVEN ZSASZ CAUGHT ON

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Zsasz asked. You were both sat at the same table (you were watching Penguin talk to some low-life and Zsasz was cleaning his weapons. He obviously didn’t really care about us together, he probably has either a bet or is sick of watching me pine.

“Because I can’t just tell him!” I groan,

“What if we make him tell you?” Zsasz smirks mischievously as he shuffles closer to you, “gotta make him jealous.”

“Victor. Last time he got jealous he killed someone,” You give him deadpanned look.

So you end up taking Zsasz’s advice and starting flirting with people in front Penguin

He was visibly getting annoyed but you couldn’t tell if it’s because he had feelings for you too or something else

“Why do you on flirt with people in front of me?” He asks, his voiced laved with anger.

“What?” I ask with fake confusion.

“You only flirt with people when you know I’m there!” He accuses.

“What is it to you?” I roll my eyes from my normal seat on the sofa in his office

“What is it to me?” He repeats, “I lo- I just don’t enjoy watching you flaunt yourself around! It’s not like you.”

“Why do you even care, Oswald?” I sigh, my voice raising to match his anger and volume.

“I care because I love you Y/N!” He shouts.

You froze when his said this for a split second before you raced towards him and pulled him into a kiss, my hands on his cheeks

You told him you loved him to

[lovelyspring7]

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I can't believe you answered my ask, I read it again to get some ideas

but even though yn went to jk's room they didn't do anything sexual he fell asleep cuddling her and she stayed up all night scared suspicious of the possibility of yn running away, he hires someone to approach yn with the purpose of being her friend and finding out what she is doing yn ends up seeing an ex boyfriend who returned to the city they broke up because the ex moved to another country your ex asks you out for ice cream yn makes excuses not to have lunch with jk because she is still scared the person who was hired takes pictures of them together and tells jk yn is now prohibited from going out without jk at all times she has a security guard with her ex becomes a new target jk constantly threatens yn saying he will kill his ex as much as yn is not in love with her ex, jk insists that she was wanting to cheat on him jk hires female teachers to teach college classes at home jk takes yn on walks or trips so she doesn't get bored but everything accompanied by security yn starts feeling disgusted with jk which makes him even crazier yn stops trying to talk about this madness and after a while she doesn't answer anything and doesn't even look him in the eye jk feeling rejected becomes a little more aggressive with words but yn remains silent investing some papers in the office YN finds about the people hired and photos of her with her ex yn confronts jk who doesn't understand why she's mad since she belongs to him missing yn's touch, in this moment of confrontation jk forces kisses and touches yn's body squeezing jk tells her to be what they were before or he would kill his ex in front of her and commit an act he was holding back on for a long time (r4p3) little by little yn gives in and talks to jk, she goes back to studying at another college and they go back to having lunch together that's not enough for jk anymore he needs to feel yn's kisses it starts with kisses on the neck, on the cheek, hands on the waist but yn ends up slowly pulling away jk is losing jk buys shorter and tighter clothes just for yn to wear for him, she can only wear his clothes or whatever he tells her at events he says that yn is his fiancée he demands caresses, kisses, attention, wants her to always sit on his lap jk doesn't want kids, he doesn't want her to have her attention on someone else yn is tired of this yn needs to find an opportunity to escape, gather all the jewels and money to be able to escape

I didn't think too much ahead hahahhahha it's okay if you don't like it, the gaps could be filled with your ideas I also imagined JK less aggressive and more needy kneeling down and humiliating himself because he thinks yn is cheating on him something like that

Anyway I'm genuinely looking forward to the sequel I've never been so involved in a fic like yours love u I will wait for your answer

Omg… I’m at loss for words. Have you ever though about wiring?🤩 You had so many amazing ideas! Seriously it’s enough to write a third part. Now this really inspired me to write again🤍

I’m gonna try to keep it as a surprise but now at least I know what direction I wanna go in.

Expect a second part this month, ily🩷

[void-dust-muffin]

called out by @egg-exe to list my favorite character from 10 different fandoms.

I. Do not remember names. And I refuse to look anything up. we'll see how this goes.

1) Kal'Tsit from arknights. I've been low key obsessing over the game for a while now, and Kal is definitely one of the coolest characters. Storied past, cold demeanor belying genuine care and kindness for everyone under her, Mon3tr, the team that made her did a good job and she really just exemplifies the strength of the game in general. But I can talk to the moon and back about how stupid good the writing for arknights is, especially considering it's a gacha mobile game, so ill move on

2) Neopolitan from rwby. I fell in love with rwby's setting all the way back when I first watched it. Its unique mix of fantasy and technopunk drew me in and its character concepts have kept me there ever since. Neo probably the most. A mute character being the wisecracking villain's muscle and making her shorter than literally the rest of the cast? Peak. If only they made a character to go with the cool moves.

3) Princess Zelda in Breath of the Wild. Sweetheart's trying her best and facing frustration at every turn. Somebody hug her I'm begging you. (it's me, the sweetheart is her but also me)

4) Jafar Fire Emblem 7. Played the game years ago, loved his character design and his class(crits go brrrrr), but his story is the real selling point. The way he interacts with Nino is so sweet and I have such a soft spot for both of them(technically illegal two faves from one fandom oops).

I had the next one and then I lost it uhhhhh not the one I had but we'll go with

5) I was going to say a different character from portal but then I remembered the boy: Space Core.

6) Riza Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist. Her relationship with the major is so heartfelt and the writer did them so well. If you've never watched it go and do that cuz it's just so well put together.

7) Padparadsha from Houseki no Kuni. God that manga is a train wreck. Phos you walking disaster. I love it. Anywho, pad is an interesting character in an already very interesting cast of characters. Their entire existence, teetering between waking and immobility is an exploration of how much of the gem is required for them to function. how much them can be removed before they just. cease.

8) Waymond from Everything Everywhere All At Once. First off, if you haven't watched the movie, go see it. Second, damn I didn't think anyone would actually read this far. Waymond is such a wholesome man he changes the way the woman going through the infinite possibilities of the multiverse thinks. He finds joy in everything he does and shares it with everyone around him. Not because he's ignorant of the struggles of life, because with happiness they become easier. And the man that played him is just as sweet. At the Oscar's when it was announced as best picture he went up on stage too and was hugging everyone. I would die for him.

9) Finn from the star wars sequel trilogy. As bad as they were, when the force awakens came out I remember seeing it and being excited to see what they would do with a stormtrooper main character. And then they didn't do anything, wasting all of his potential. But if there's one thing I learned from rwby, it's that someone else was just as disappointed and wrote a fanfiction exploring what canon didn't.

And now time for the niche reach.

10) Maven from the web novel Save the Demon King. Maven is the eponymous demon king, a near mythical figure in setting and the last demon alive. He is such a fun character in a fun setting that is very well written. I refuse to say more except for go read it. It's free on tapas and very good.

Honorable Mention:

I did think of Hades the game as a possible fandom but everyone in it is too good. I can't choose. the short list is half the hub area characters and at least three of the gods on top of that

fuckin hell theres an hour down the drain. gotta keep the chain going so uhhhhh @krindenium you're the only other human that I know on this site.