#i will simply stay in my lane and make sure i never have to see that stuff

[delightfuldevin]

It sucks how much people genuinely think that supporting something in a fictional context is the same as supporting that thing in real life :((

Like, do you people really truly believe that fictional characters are in any way equivalent to real life people? Do you understand how absolutely ridiculous that sounds?

“But they’re minors/siblings/victims/etc!” NO THEY’RE NOT. They are a figment of someone’s imagination that can have literally any traits you want them to cause fiction is something made to be manipulated for our viewing pleasure. That’s why AUs are a thing. That’s why headcanons are a thing. Cause fiction is meant to be manipulated for you to enjoy! You can’t have headcanons for a real life person. Because real people are not the same as fictional people. At least, I hope you don’t treat real people like they are fictional characters.

“But why would you want to ship [insert thing here]? It’s gross!” Okay, and? It isn’t hurting any actual real person, and it could even be helping someone who is using this to cope with their own trauma! And no, your personal discomfort is not a reason to completely delete content cause you can easily just block the tag/the creator and never see it. It is your responsibility to curate your own experience and if you are incapable of doing that, it is your responsibility to stay out of fandom spaces until you are mature enough to do so. It is not the responsibility of everyone else in the world to cater to your specific needs. You shouldn’t expect every single person to have the exact same needs as you and the exact same ways of coping with said needs.

“But groomers will use this thing to manipulate vulnerable people!” Indeed, that does happen. But it is not the fault of the person who made the content. It is always, and I mean always, the fault of the groomer themself. By saying “I was groomed by this content” you take away the responsibility of the actual groomer who did it. Don’t absolve them of their crime because of what they used for the crime. No matter what, it was always their fault and the responsibility of that is on their shoulders. Even if that content didn’t exist, they would’ve found some other way to groom you because that is simply who they chose to be and that is the unfortunate and sad truth.

It is completely okay to be uncomfortable with something! Grossed out even! Or something can be literally triggering for you. That is okay! And if someone doesn’t tag their content properly and it gets to you, you have every right to be mad about that! But that does not mean the person who made the content needs to delete what they made. You just have to block them so that you’ll never see their content again. You don’t even have to engage with them. That’s the beauty of the internet! We’re all strangers and once someone is blocked, it’s as if they never even existed! You’ll never meet them irl or be forced to interact with them. They are dead to you.

Also side note, but helpful information! When you block someone on Tumblr, their posts can still end up on your dash if someone else reblogs from them. Idk if Tumblr has changed this in the few years I’ve been gone, but a way around that is to add their blog name to your filtered content! That way, even if someone else reblogs from them, it’ll still be hidden from you :D

[papaya-twinks]

italian blood - l.n

Warnings: Age Gap!

Pairing: Lando Norris x antonelli!fem!reader

Summary: Lando falls for Kimi’s twin sister

Kimi’s 20 in this, in order for his twin, y/n, to be 20 too. I also made 2025 into 2024 because idk what’s going on and it makes sense to me

part 2

You and Kimi were some of the closest siblings ever - going through each and every formula together, almost like a duo act. And now, with rumours circling of your brother joining F1, you couldn’t not be happy, but you also couldn’t not be hit with a tinge of jealousy. You’d been just as good, if not better, than Kimi, winning an extra F2 title than him. 

“Ciao, Kimi, Y/N,” Charles said, seeing the two of you walk down the pit lane, suits hanging low in your waist, having just finished your final practice. “Hey Charles,” you said, waving at him, “a word?”. The Monegasque nodded shortly as you waved off your brother, following the older driver into his garage. “How’s it going?” he asked, watching as you slumped against one of the tables. “Merda (shit),” you groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

“Y/N, Y/N,” he said, sounding reassuring, “it will simply take time. I’ve put in my word to Fred and Carlos can vouch. Simply putting an Italian in an Italian, well, eh?” he nudged you as you shrugged. “Surely that’s what you want, no?” you asked, eyebrow raised. “Mon dieu (my god), Y/N, the meeting is it a few minutes,” Charles sighed, “let us wait til then,”. And you did so, a few bits of small talk with some engineers before moving to talk to Carlos. And then, you were called in. 

“Y/N, Y/N,” Fred ushered you and his drivers into his office as you sat down. “I’m sure you see the position I am in, yes?” he confirmed as you nodded warily. You weren’t quite sure what he was getting at, but nodded anyways, in order to speed up the situation. “We have a variety of options for Carlos’ replacement,” he continued, “Hamilton, perhaps,”. 

Wow, he was really pushing you to the edge. “And?” you said, expecting for him to tell you the outcome. “We’ve decided,” he spoke slowly, “to sign you one year,” your eyes widened, “to see how you are,”. Scrambling out your chair, you nodded before rushing out the office, finding Charles. “You got it?” the Monegasque asked, eyes wide at your reaction. “You bet!” you shrieked, throwing your arms round your friend. 

And shortly after that, a week or so later, Carlos’ departure was announced, but not your arrival. There was no doubt going to be a lot of controversy over a female racer, there already was in F2, let alone F1. The hate you already got for racing in F2 was hard enough to deal with. Of course, Charles knew, and you were allowed to tell a few people you trusted, such as your best friend, Oscar. 

“Wait wait,” he shushed you after you explained, “you’re meaning to tell me…MY best friend is gonna get beaten on track by me?”. You snorted at his words. “I believe the words you were looking for were, ‘beating YOU’,”. Oscar raised an eyebrow, following you down the pit lane. “Well, before you join the dark side…or the red side,” the Aussie said, “stay here for a bit,”. 

You scrunched your nose at his comment but followed him to his garage anyways, into the motor home behind. “Right, right,” he said, “you’re gonna need to come to this little dinner with a few drivers,”. You raised an eyebrow, “who’s coming?”. Oscar hummed, before counting on his fingers, “Charles, Max, Carlos, me and Lando,”. You knew Max and Charles, jabbing kitted a few times with Max, and you knew Carlos by extension of Charles.

However, Lando was not someone you knew. Besides, you’d never say no to food, who would? So it was arranged, you were going to meet Charles at the elevator before you left together for the fancy ass restaurant. Choosing an outfit that wasn’t too posh but wasn’t too laid back was probably going to be the main challenge. In the end, you settled on a pretty black dress and some platforms, and a bag to finish off the look.

“Hey Leclerc,” you saw your teammate waiting for you. He was wearing a simple shirt and dress trousers, so you were appropriately dressed. “Looking good, Antonelli,” he raised an eyebrow as he went into the elevator with you. You arrived at the restaurant a few minutes before everyone else, see if Carlos and Max in conversation as you sat down, smiling to them.

“Oscar’s on his way, and not sure about Lando,” Max said, handing you a menu. Your conversation was relatively easy and laid back, a few comments about the race before going onto random topics amongst yourselves. Oscar arrived and joined in with you and Charles. The only person left to arrive was Lando. “Finally, mate,” Charles looked up, seeing the young British driver behind me, wearing a white button up shirt, open at the top with a few necklaces, and black dress pants.

“Hey mate,” he leaned over you, before shaking Charles’ hand. You watched as his necklace fell in front of your eyes before he raised an eyebrow at Carlos, gesturing subtly to you. “Ah, Lando,” Charles sai,d realising Lando didn’t know of your job. “This is Y/N,” he introduced you to him, “she’s going to be the new Ferrari driver in ‘24,”. Lando raised an eyebrow, taking in your body and figure, before turning to Carlos.

“She’s your replacement?” he asked the Spaniard, as he nodded. “Right…” he turned back to you, “you have some big shoes to fill,”. You nodded, already aware. “Try to compete with you lot, then,” you shrugged. “Oh Y/N,” Max said with a small smirk, “you can try to compete with us, we’ll be lapping you,” Charles scoffed. “Yeah yeah, don’t get ahead of yourself, this is Ferrari territory,” he huffed.

You rolled your eyes at the boys arguing already before turning to Oscar who was on Lando’s other side. “Help me,” you mouthed, watching Charles on your right as Lando laughed. “You’ll get used to them,” he said sympathetically as the menu was handed to him. The dinner ended up going well, you exchanged number’s with Lando and got on his number. There was no doubt he treated you differently, but it was expected. He almost acted with caution.

“Add her to the group, mate,” Oscar said to Lando as you turned to them. “Well, it comes with a warning label,” he added your contact to it, smiling, “these guys are kinda loony,”. You laughed at his comment, you expected nothing less of the guys around you. “I’m sure you’ll fit in just great,” he nodded to you with a smile. “I hope so,”. The rest of the dinner was finished and Charles drove you home, dropping you to your apartment.

Lando was very nice, he spoke to you a lot, and made sure you felt comfortable, but you had to say, it was a pleasant surprise seeing a text from him already, as soon as you walked into your room.

You grinned at the texts, he was certainly very open to being friends, but the only way to put that to the test would be through racing. You were well aware, throughout other formulas, what competing against your friends could do to your bond with them, and testing the waters now with Lando would be too early. Your train of thoughts was broken by the sound of your phone dinging, a message coming in from your brother.

This was going to be interesting.

Shortly, the 2023 season rolled by, Max winning yet another championship and the seats were announced. Your brother, Kimi, was the new Mercedes driver, and you were the Ferrari driver. Of course, the hate was definite but you only used it to fuel you on and prove them wrong. And finally, you arrived in Bahrain with Charles and testing was to begin.

“The car’s good,” you said, not that you really had much to say, as this was your first F1 car. You were on your 15th lap so far, other drivers behind and in front of you, testing their own cars. “This is good, this is good,” your engineer said over the radio, “we need to box you for new tyres in the next lap, avoid Lando, please,” he said, making you look to your mirror, seeing the orange McLaren behind you.

You turned your head to your right, seeing Lando on your side, a small wave to you as he drove round, going into the next corner. You followed him, you knew it was testing, but a bit of racing wouldn’t hurt, right? “Y/N, what are you doing?” the engineer asked as you sped up, going round Lando on the next corner. You couldn’t see his face or anything, but you could almost sense he understood what you were doing and following you, behind you as he went down the inside on the first corner.

“Y/N, you missed the pit,” your engineer said, “we are not racing Norris,”. You huffed, it was just a bit of fun. “Sorry,” you slowed down, Lando’s car doing the same as he drove alongside you down the back straight. He held his hand up as if to say, ‘what are you doing?’ You shook your head, as if to say, ‘we can’t’. He threw his hand up, exasperated and drove off. You wanted to race him too, but maybe in the next races.

“Y/N Antonelli,” the interviewer smiled to you as you walked into the media pen. You smiled at the full name as he spoke more, “you were rapid on track, setting the fourth fastest time, just behind George, Charles and Lando,”. You grinned again, “Fourth is good an all, but we know a few of the better teams could be sandbagging,” you referred to Max without directly saying it, “and the car’s doing amazing, honestly,”.

The interviewer chuckled before he continued. “On the subject of Lando,” he said, “we saw a bit of wheel to wheel action between you two. This is testing, right?” he joked. You laughed again. “Yeah, well, he went down the inside and I was like ‘why not have some fun’?” you explained, “and he was alright with it, it was just joking around a bit,”. The interviewer hummed, “Is joking around really what should be happening?” he asked, making you raise an eyebrow, “did Lando even do it as a joke, or because you annoyed him?”.

That was the media for you. Creating unnecessary drama, as always. You didn’t say anything, your expression stoic and somewhat pissed. “Good racing, Antonelli,” a voice said behind you, making your cold expression break as you saw Lando. “Have some more of that in the race, yeah?” he shook your hand as you nodded. “Preferably when I’m in front,” you smiled as he clutched his chest. “I’m wounded,” he said dramatically. You shook your head at him.

“To answer your question, I think we both knew it was a joke,” you said triumphantly to the interviewer. This was going to be a very interesting season.

[soft4gguk]

to build a home | chapter fifteen

Pairing: Jungkook x reader. ceo!jk + dilf!jk x nanny!oc

Genre: strangers to lovers. angst. fluff. smut.

Word count: 12.2k

Warnings: oof. let me keep it brief so i don’t spoil too much! it’s angsty. a looooong walk down memory lane. reminiscing. its kinda sad. but lucy’s holds oc through it all! bathroom quickie lol. unprotected sex (do better ok). a lil choking. a lil spanking. jk being an ass man!!!!! team mingyus u get to see ur boy!!! big gasp towards the end. 

Author’s note:  oh, boy! what have i DONE? lol. i’m not gonna say much. only that i love y’all with all my heart and i truly cannot wait to book club the fuck out of this chappie. sending x’s & o’s your way, always!!!!! <33333

This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x

Chapter Fifteen

In the forty minutes you sleep, you manage to dream. It’s soft, tender and blue. It’s the ocean and Jungkook’s face, the sand on your toes, on your hands, falling from your fingers and getting caught in the wind, some landing on your face. He calls your name, beckoning you over, smile inviting as he walks backwards into the vastness of the sea. You smile, on your feet in no time before you’re running towards him, feet splashing salty water all over as you join him. You’re in his arms the second you’re close enough to him, legs wrapped around his waist as he lets his body fall into the water, deep, blue, your body never letting go of his. 

Your eyes open gently, head on his chest in the same position you’d fallen asleep in. Soori’s babbles coming from the baby monitor sound muffled as you incorporate yourself back into consciousness. Jungkook’s body is warm against the palm of your hand, breath steady as his chest rises and falls. You look up at him, not ready to leave his side, not ready to do what your brain demands of you the moment you start slipping into wakefulness. You close your eyes, snuggle your head in his chest once more, arm wrapping around him as you pull him closer to you ever so gently. He reciprocates your actions in his sleep, arm wrapping tighter around you as his head sinks further into the pillows. Soori’s not crying, you could probably stay like this for twenty more minutes, wrapped in his arms, closing your eyes and letting your mind and body be consumed with him so you don’t have to think. To really think. 

But you know it’s no use. You know that it’s over, whether you grant yourself the thirty minutes or not. It makes your heart ache, too weak to feel anger anymore. Too weak to even protest and try to put up a fight. You feel tears well up in the corner of yours eyes, and if you let them fall now, they won’t be able to stop. You pull away from him, your movements gentle as to not wake him up. You feel the bed move, making you stop in your tracks and glancing back to make sure he’s not awake. He simply lays on his side, snuggling himself into a pillow, his breathing letting you know that he’s still in deep sleep. You let yourself look at him, taking in his face, his body. He’s so beautiful it hurts. He’s so beautiful your heart begins to regain its strength some, becoming aware of him, swimming through the mud, about to beg you to keep going. But your brain is faster as you close your eyes, turning around and heading for the door. God, it hurts. It hurts to wake up, it hurts to walk. It hurts to feel him all over your body, the traces of the night you just shared still taking over your senses. His smell, his touch, the exhaustion that takes over you that borders as sweet because your body remains in that fucked out bliss only he knows how to put you in. 

The most reasonable part of you begs you to be strong. 

The most tender part of you begs you to turn back around.

You leave his room. 

You’re basically on your tiptoes, closing the door behind you gently, abstaining from making any noise. You think you manage pretty well, chanting victory a little too soon as you turn around and pretty much jump in place, hand coming to your mouth as you let out a yelp at the sight of Lucy standing in the hallway. 

“Good morning,” she says, jutting her hip out and tapping her feet on the ground as she crosses her arms in front of her body. 

“You scared the living shit out of me,” you whisper yell at her. 

“Of course I did, because you just got caught.”

You sigh, admitting defeat. “Come get Soori with me. She’s awake.”

“Will you explain?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” she says, opening the door to your room. “Put some pants on first. And panties.”

“Shit,” you say, looking back at Jungkook’s room. 

“No use now. He’s got himself a souvenir.”

“Don’t be witty right now,” you tell her, rummaging through your bags to find a pair of pants. And panties. 

“___, you were bawling your eyes out last night. I was literally scared you’d put yourself through dehydration or something. So imagine my surprise when Jimin wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me that it sounded like someone was doing construction work inside of Jungkook’s room.” 

You bring your hand to your mouth, eyes widening in surprise at her words. “Oh my God.”

“Relax. He went to get a glass of water, we couldn’t hear anything. I’m sure nobody did.”

“Thank God,” you sigh.

“That is not the point. What is going on, ___?”

“It’s a long story,” she’s about to protest, “I’ll tell you over breakfast. Let’s get Soori first, though.”

She lets out a sigh of relief. “Let’s.”

~

And so you begin the recount of events. 

As you get Soori out of bed, you begin to tell her about that night, omitting any explicit details, of course. You tell her how you told him you loved him, tell her about his silence, about the way you dismissed your words in fear he wouldn’t reciprocate them. She passes you one of Soori’s sundresses, a cute black and white polka dotted one. 

“And what happened then?” She asks, rummaging through the suitcase Jungkook had packed for her and looking for a bow to match. 

“He didn’t say it back.”

“Oh,” she says, face falling even though she knew that much would be true. 

“Yeah. I guess at first I was just trying for it not to… hurt as much as it did. Sunday was nice, we spent the whole day by the pool with Soo. I don’t know. It almost made me feel like I could live with it, you know? With the fact that he hadn’t said it back.”

“Yeah, I get you. We like to tell ourselves lies to keep our feelings at bay. It’s a woman thing.”

The three of you sit on the floor, Soori in the middle as you brush her hair and get to work on her little pigtails whilst Lucy plays with her, helping her stack her pink wooden cubes on top of one another. You tell her about your rollercoaster of emotions, going through a failed attempt at suppressing your feelings, then the feminine rage all the way to the sadness plummeting so hard through you it made you restless. 

“I should’ve known. Nobody sings Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan like that for no reason.”

You laugh, albeit weakly. “Don’t feel bad. I knew that the moment I told you, it’d be real.” 

“No, I get that. But I just can’t believe that you went through all of this by yourself. I wish I could’ve… been there.”

You put a hand on top of hers, Soori following in your steps as she puts her chubby hand on top of yours, making the both of you laugh. Lucy looks at Soori, then back at you, concern lacing her features as she asks,

“Then what happened?”

You make your way down the stairs, Soori on your hip as she babbles sweet nothings to her giraffe and Lucy follows suit. You tell her about the book you’d found in Jungkook’s living room, the one filled with pictures of him and Ira. 

“God, they were really in love, weren’t they?”

“Yeah. Seems like it.”

“What on Earth happened?” Lucy asks, making her way into the kitchen, reaching down to pick Soori’s giraffe up that she’d dropped, smiling at her as she places it back in her hands. 

“That’s the thing, I don’t know. I have no clue about what could’ve possibly driven her to…,” you halt your words, not wanting to finish the sentence in front of Soori, as oblivious as she was right now as you sat her down on her high chair. 

“Jimin has said things to me,” she starts, her words a bit weak. “I mean, nothing much. Or too specific. But he told me Jungkook tried. He told me he really tried. He was a good partner to her… just like he’s a good dad to Soori.”

“You know, it’s funny. I never once for a second thought he wasn’t.”

“I did. I mean- you know him better than I do. And it all sounded so complex to me I thought that maybe he’d driven her away. But Jimin- he talks about Ira with so much spite. Almost hatred. And they used to be close. I mean, she’s in a picture frame at his parents’ house, for God’s sake! He made them remove it, of course, but-” you take her words in, looking into her eyes. “I don’t know. He tried and she left. That’s all I’ve gathered from what he’s said.”

“Yeah. I guess the picture book really made me realize that… they’d loved each other. Very much.”

“What happened then?”

You look at her, a bit of shame lacing your features. You look at the kitchen counter, remembering that night. 

“Well,” you start and your tone of voice gives you away. 

“Oh, brother.”

You tell her about that night, in code, of course. Tell her about how it’d been a weak moment for you, how the little altercation you’d had before had set the mood for the tension to be released in one way or the other. And well, you were only human. A bit weak at times. You also tell her how it made you feel even sadder, though. How having him physically but not emotionally was really beginning to take a toll on you the more you pondered on your situation. You both get started with breakfast, cutting Soori’s fruit and putting some on her high chair before you get to frying eggs, mashing avocados, toasting bread, making coffee. You tell her about your sad girl hours, well into the night. 

“I’ve stalked all of Jimin’s exes on Instagram. It was pure torture. I can’t imagine having so much access to her on Google. I think it would send me spiraling,” she says, passing you the spatula. 

“Oh, it did. The worst part is that I couldn’t hate her. I mean, there she was, on my phone screen, looking perfect with her sweet, low voice, saying all the right things. How can I hate her?” You flip your egg.

“I’ve heard a lot of those things are fabricated, though.”

“I don’t know, Lu. The way Mai and Taehyung talk about her in that book… it was all adding up.”

She sighs, taking a sip of her latte, passing a tiny square of avocado toast to Soori that she’d cut up. She takes it, smiling at her, making her swoon. She gets your attachment to her now. She’s so sweet. 

You decide to take breakfast to the garden, the morning serene before you, sky settling into darker shades of Blue. The waves of the ocean can be heard from where you stand and the air feels fresh, clean. You tell her about Jungkook closing his deal, about the night you’d called her in a desperate bout, asking her what to wear. You tell her about Lily. She understands, doesn’t judge when you tell her how jealous you’d felt, how it’d made your blood boil as she threw innuendos at him. 

“Oh, I would’ve-,” she looks over at Soori, who blows a raspberry before shoving a piece of egg right into her mouth. “She would’ve heard a number from me, certainly.”

“What can I say, though? Yeah, Lily. Don’t flirt with my- my boss! Who I have romantic feelings for because he talks to me so very sweetly and he,” you look down at Soori. “He is really good at… frolicking me.”

She lets out a loud laugh, hand covering her mouth as she’s mid bite. “Fair enough. Ugh!”

You laugh a little, too. Your heart finding respite in your best friend. “I know. So annoying.”

“I mean, he is quite handsome, ___.”

“Yeah. I never wanted to get a paper bag over his head more.”

She chuckles at your words, shaking her head before she’s sighing for what feels like the millionth time today. “Then what happened?”

You look up at her, bringing your iced coffee to your lips and taking a sip. 

“We frolicked.”

“___! What is it with this vicious cycle you’re in?”

“I don’t know! It just keeps happening! In my defense, he just… frolicked me with his-,” you point at your tongue. “That’s all we did.”

“That is not the feminist act you think it is.”

You chuckle. “Trust me, I know.”

“But then again, I can’t blame you.”

“You should.”

“I would never.”

You smile at her. It’s almost funny, the way your chest feels a little lighter, the way you can laugh through it all, even as you walk down memory lane on some of the saddest days of your life. Lucy was magic. 

“I was emotionally hungover the next day. All I could think about was how I was standing under Ira’s shadow. How maybe… I don’t know, he’d never be able to love me the way he loved her.”

“I get that. I mean, those are some big shoes to fill. And it has nothing to do with you. It’s more so all the years they spent together, everything they went through, you know,” she nods in Soori’s direction, “the whole ass child they had together.”

“Yeah,” you sigh. 

“So… what exactly happened yesterday? You were in pretty bad shape.”

You tell her about Mingyu. About what Jungkook said to you. She flinches, eyes squinting as she viscerally reacts to his low blow. 

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. Ouch.”

“So much to unpack here.”

“Good luck trying.”

“I mean, he was jealous. Dare I say, he is jealous. And I mean, I can almost understand him. Not saying you did anything wrong, but he did walk inside his kitchen and there you were, drinking peppermint tea with his friend, wearing his navy blue Ralph Lauren sweater!”

“It was bad judgment on my part, I can admit. But also, I didn’t mean for it to mean anything. I was just… cold. And dumb.”

“You are not dumb. He’s dumb! Because if he would’ve been aware of you, if he got his head of out his ass then he would’ve been the one drinking peppermint tea with you and you would’ve been wearing his navy blue Ralph Lauren sweater. I bet you they have the same one.”

Her words make you laugh. “His words sure did sting, though.”

“Duh, no wonder. He was a bit brutal.”

“Like, does he really think I would do something like that?”

“And what if you did? I mean, ethically speaking, flirting with your boss’ friend is wrong. But, flirting with… a guy. At a BBQ? What’s wrong with that!”

“He’s his friend, Lucy.”

“And that’s what he gets for not making it exclusive and going back and forth with his little boy feelings! Playing with yours in the process!”

“It’s more complicated than that,” you defend.

“___,” she huffs, taking your hand in hers and looking into your eyes. “You are in a situationship.”

“Oh, God,” you gasp.

“With a grown ass man. A twenty eight year old male Paris Hilton.” You store that remark for when you need a laugh in the future, right now you’re too busy digesting her words. “Who also happens to be your boss. The person that puts food in your plate.”

“I know!”

“Yeah!”

“God!”

“Christ, even!”

“Fuck.” you whisper.

“I take it you guys didn’t really talk about what happened last night, you just got to… frolicking?”

“Yeah.” You lower your head in shame. “I just- I told myself that it was going to be the last time. That I’d confront him today- well, confront is a big word. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to make this any harder than it already is. Plus, I have to think about Soori. I can’t leave her. We’re just gonna have to learn how to be civil about all of this.”

“So you’re breaking up with him?” She sounds surprised. You frown.

“Breaking up is a big word for Elmo. We are not together.”

She decides to store your remark for a future laugh, she’s too busy digesting your words right now. “Just like that?”

“Just like what, Lu? I mean, what else is there? I- I pour my heart out to him. I tell him I love him. I give him all the time in the world for him to say it back. Say anything back! And nothing. He doesn’t love me. And it’s hurting me, Lucy. It’s hurting me so bad. The uncertainty, the hiding, the back and forth. I don’t think I can take it any longer.”

Lucy takes it all in. Sees the pain in your eyes, hears the desperation in your words. She feels it, too. Not just because she’s your best friend, and truly, genuinely believes you guys are connected through celestial magic, but also because she knew the feeling a little too well. The heart ache, the restless feeling that takes over you when love isn’t reciprocated, the anxiety of it all. She knows what it feels like to be so close to giving up. 

“You’re right,” she says. “You’re right, ___. You don’t deserve any of it. You don’t deserve having to sit through the uncertainty, you don’t deserve to be with someone that keeps you a secret. You don’t deserve to feel any of what you’ve felt in these past couple of weeks.” Her saying the words back to you hurt more than you uttering them, and it makes you realize that you were perhaps hoping she’d say the opposite. “It must’ve been horrible – to bare your heart out to him like that and not hearing it back. It must’ve been horrible to have to see him every day. For him to be completely oblivious towards your feelings.” 

“Yeah.” Your words are faint, barely there. 

Matter of fact, Lucy knows what it’s like to give up entirely. To completely submit yourself to what you so strongly believe is fate. She thinks of Jimin, a smile forming at her lips like muscle memory at the mere thought of him. She thinks of how deflated her heart felt the day she met him, how her pillow had been silent witness to her tears just the night before after she’d longingly stared at her computer screen, some love story making her crave what she thought could only be found in movies and fairy tales. She’d given up, yes. She’d sworn off men, had encouraged herself to be a little more realistic. To use her logic when it came to romance. 

Jimin had dismantled all of that with only five words. 

“Hi. I’m Jimin, and you?”

“But I don’t think you’ve tried hard enough.” Her words make you flinch, looking at her with confusion, feeling a little defensive from the get go. “Listen to me. Yes, you did the big, brave thing. You told him you loved him, you sat through the dismissal his words provoked, you cried all the tears and sang along to all the sad songs in the world. You probably watched Pride and Prejudice a couple of times, too.” It frightens you a little, how she knows you so well. “And that’s all valid. And honestly, fuck him for making you feel like that. I hope he steps on a lego, like, every day for the rest of his life. But also,” she pauses for a bit, leaning closer to you. “You didn’t talk to him. You didn’t tell him any of this that you’re telling me. Yes, he’s oblivious, but your silence basically encouraged it. Yes, he’s dense but you didn’t open up to him enough so as to know if it’s coming out of malice. Which, frankly, I don’t believe. As much as he is not on my good graces right now,” she rolls her eyes, “I don’t think he meant to… hurt you.”  

“I know, but-” you don’t know, actually. Your silence proving that much and so she continues.

“That day… when he showed up at our door, I didn’t know what was happening. All I knew was that my best friend was in bed, feeling sad, and wouldn’t tell me why. And then I opened the door, and there he was, looking all… sad. I almost wanted to slam the door on his face because I knew he was the reason, it all made sense to me right then and there. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t because he looked like he knew he’d… lost something. Something he wasn’t quite sure he could get back. He looked scared. And so I let him in.” 

“He did a shitty thing that day.”

“I know. It was very shitty. I truly hope the legos aren’t upside down. But,” she takes a breath, collecting her words for a second. “I guess, ever since that day I’ve been trying to decipher him. To decipher what he feels for you. It’s quite hard since, you know, you guys have to hide from the world or whatever. So I’ve taken to just… observing him. I’ve taken to looking at him when he’s looking at you. You barely notice, and I’m almost glad you don’t. I feel like if you would you’d break the little magic the moment holds. Maybe he’d shy away from the way his eyes get all shiny and he smiles in a way that lets me know he’s not really aware of it. And so a part of me is relieved, because I know that whatever it is, the feeling is pure. I went up to your bedroom yesterday because when I looked at him… he looked just the way he had that day in our front door.”

“Do you think he loves me?” 

Lucy’s heart breaks a little when you ask her, ever so faintly, a question that she doesn’t think she can answer. But nonetheless, she smiles, taking your hand in hers. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know if he loves you, ___. I don’t even know that he knows. Or that he can even become aware of it after all he’s been through. All I know is that you haven’t tried hard enough to figure it out. And it should never take a toll on your heart. It should never break you the way it did. But also, I think the reason why it did is because you had to carry the weight of it alone. I think… I think he would’ve at least been willing to help.”

“I don’t know, Lu…”

“Yeah. You don’t. Nobody knows. That’s the tricky side of it all. The one we run from the most because it means that we have to be even more vulnerable. Because we know we’re risking even worse of a heart break. But, could you live with yourself knowing you didn’t at least try? And I mean, really tried.”

“No.” The words come out of you before you can even think her question through. 

“Then you owe yourself at least that. Not him, not even my sappy, romantic self. You.”

You smile at her, lacing your fingers through hers. “What if I try and I’d been right all along?”

“Then I’ll be here. We’ll sing Chappell Roan together and I’ll make sure to scatter the legos all over his house myself.” Her face grows proud as she says this. 

You laugh. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

Soori shrieks, making you both turn, laughing at her reaction. You walk over to her, taking her in your arms as you kiss her, swaying from side to side. She whines a little bit, voice muffled with the way you squeeze her cheeks with your kisses. 

“You’ll grow up and have the bestest friend ever, too, Soo Soo.”

Lucy looks at the two of you, can feel the way you radiate love. The way your whole face lights up as she brings her little chubby hand to your cheek, shrieking in excitement at your words that she doesn’t even understand, but that are coming from you. In that moment, she knows she’d given you the right advice. She knows it. She sees it.

From where she stands, the future paints itself rosy shades of pink. 

~

You feel your heart slowly mending itself, regaining its strength as the minutes pass and you bask in the sun, in Lucy’s words of comfort and her wise advice. In Soori’s little antics as the two of you play with her, letting her dip her toes in the water on the shallow end of the pool. You lather her body in sunblock and Lucy laughs at the white patches you intentionally leave on her cheeks. 

“She’s the most sensitive there,” you defend, running the lotion down her arms. 

“Okay, mommy.”

“This is my job, you know? Keeping the baby safe,” you mock defensiveness.

“Oh, please. Get so very real right now, ___.” 

“I am,” you laugh. “Although I will admit I do happen to love keeping the baby safe.”

She takes Soori in her arms, letting her splash about with her feet as she places her between her legs. “It’s okay, Soori. I’m the fun auntie.”

You look at them, a smile on your face as you revel in Soori’s sounds of excitement and Lucy’s tender nature towards her. You love seeing everyone melt for her, give her love and attention. 

“Ah, there you guys are!”

The three of you turn around, a smiling, pyjama-clad Jimin walking towards you. 

“Good morning, babe!” Lucy waves at him, bringing Soori’s little arm up, making her wave, too.

“Hi,” you say, a little shyly, all things considered.

“Good morning, ladies. Good morning, princess Soori.” He kisses Lucy’s lips, then Soori’s forehead. 

“How’d you sleep,” Lucy asks him.

“Good. Would’ve been better if I hadn’t woken up to an empty bed.”

“Sorry! Got hungry. Needed breakfast real bad.”

“You guys had breakfast already?”

“We’re on baby time,” you say, looking down at Soori whose arms are reaching out for Jimin. 

“Come here, baby,” he says, picking her up. 

“Gahhhh, my ovaries!” Lucy’s cries are dramatic as she throws her body back, falling on the grass, making you chuckle and raise your eyebrows at her. 

“Anytime, babe. I keep telling ya,” is all Jimin says, making you widen your eyes in shock. 

“Quit saying that, oh my God,” she whines. 

“Mr Jeon Jungkook has been looking everywhere for you,” he looks at Soori, looking at you next, “and you.”

“Oh, he’s awake?”

“Yup. I heard he had a long night,” he says, a little smirk forming at his lips. Your blush is so evident it actually makes him feel bad. 

“Jimin! Leave her alone,” Lucy says, coming to her feet. 

He laughs, throwing his head back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“I’m gonna…,” you point towards the house, ready to make your exit.

“You may be excused.” Jimin’s words earn him a scowl from his girlfriend, which humors him further. 

When you make your way back inside the house, you see Jungkook as he enters the living room. Eyes swollen, groggy with sleep, running a hand through his hair to try to fix his bedhead. And as much as your heart aches at the sight of him still, you also can’t help but smile, still in the high Lucy’s words had left you in. 

“Hey,” you say, making him look at you. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” he walks towards you, hand reaching for yours, holding it for a second, squeezing before he’s letting go. The act alone is so gentle you think you could cry. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

You shrug. “Wanted to let you sleep in for a bit.”

“I should’ve let you sleep in.”

You shake your head, smiling at him. “It’s okay. We’ve been having a nice morning. Lucy joined us, we had breakfast outside. They’re by the pool now. I lathered her in sunscreen, don't worry.”

He smiles. “Thank you.”

You look around for a second, finding a door next to the hallway that leads to the kitchen. “What’s in there?”

He follows your line of vision. “A wine cellar.”

“Can we go there? Just for a minute,” you ask, and although your question makes him curious he simply nods, letting you lead the way. 

The door gives way to a spiral staircase, a bit narrow and small. You hold onto the railing, a particular yet pleasant smell invading your senses as you begin to descend. It’s woodsy, a little musky and fruity. It’s a bit chilly, too. 

“You’re really into wine,” you tell him, eyeing the many shelves stacked with bottles of all kind. White, red, pink, a couple of bottles of champagne. 

“Yeah,” he says, looking around, too. “I guess I’ve become my father.”

You laugh. “I like that about you.”

“What? That I’ve become my father?”

“No!” you say and he laughs at your reaction. “That you know a lot about wines.”

“Hm,” he hums, grabbing you by the waist and bringing you closer. “I can teach you if you want.”

“Go on.”

“Okay, so, the temperature in this room remains at a perfect 12 degrees celsius at all times. This prevents the wine from oxidizing,” his words falter a bit as you bring your hands to his hair, fingers massaging his scalp gently as you listen intently. “The cooling system is quite particular because it keeps the humidity in the air at a steady 60%. The temperature the wine is stored in really affects the complexity and balance of the-,” he groans in satisfaction as your fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot. “Wine.” 

“Jungkook,” you look up at him, eyes dreamy and hazy. 

“___,” his voice hold the same nature. 

“Can you kiss me? Can,” you sigh, “can we kiss, a little, right now?”

“Yeah, baby. We can kiss a little right now.”

Your eyes lock on his, blinking slowly as you take in the way he takes you in. His eyes are shiny, and they smile before his lips do. You close your eyes, falling into him a bit before he’s catching you with his lips on yours. His hand comes up to your cheek, fingers snaking through your locks of hair as he brings you closer, sighing against your mouth. Your arms wrap around his waist, hands coming up inside his shirt, his skin warm at your touch. His teeth close around your bottom lip and you give him full access to your mouth, tongue meeting his, but it’s ever so slow. Tender, almost. 

It sort of dawns on him right then and there, something he’d been missing from you, making him realize that this is the most he’s gotten of you in a while. And he doesn’t mean your body, or your touch, or a kiss. No. He means the way you fall into him, the way you look at him, the way you ask him for affection in that way that he loves, so supple and pliant, almost shy. The way you hug him to you feels different, only there’s nothing different about it, it’s just been a long time. Jungkook can’t make much of it, mind too wrapped around your lips, just like his mouth, but it doesn’t miss him, how much he’s missed you and how suddenly the realization hits. 

“You want breakfast?” you part your lips from his and he pouts with his eyes still closed.

“I was in the middle of it.”

You laugh, shoving him playfully. “We can’t hide in the wine cellar forever.”

“All I need is, like,” he presses his hips against yours, “twenty minutes.”

You gasp. “Jungkook!”

“I just woke up! You took advantage of my vulnerable state.”

You roll your eyes. “I just wanted to kiss you a little.”

“Fine,” he huffs, mocking annoyance, the frown between his eyebrows falling when you put your lips on his one last time. 

Perhaps you’re playing with fire. Perhaps you’re stalling, buying yourself time before you have to put your plan in action, before you have to do the real hard work, thread the words needed to do it all. The courage, too. Perhaps you’re savoring the moment just in case this is your last. You try not to think about it too much, staying in the bliss you just put yourself in. You decide you’ll tell him once you’re both back from the beach. On tuesday, when he comes home from work. You’ll have time to craft a sensible plan, find the right words, benefit from Lucy’s sound advice a little longer. 

Yes. Tuesday it is. 

“What are the plans for today?” you ask as you make your way up the stairs.

“Pool party, burgers and, me personally, winning every game of Badminton.”

You laugh, nodding your head slowly. “I’ll be rooting for you.”

“Aw,” he coos. “My little cheerleader.”

“I can hear your thoughts, Jeon.”

“I can see you in a mini skirt, ___.” 

“Hey, I might. Just for you,” you say, looking back at him as you make your way to the kitchen. 

“Ah, you spoil me.”

You turn around, pointing a finger at him. “That’s true actually.”

“That’s true actually,” he mimics your voice when he says this, making you shove him playfully and open your mouth in shock. 

“Dada!” Soori’s sweet voice makes him turn around, a big smile on his face as she enters the living room in Jimin’s arms. 

“There you are, my little princess!” She falls into his arms the moment he’s close enough for her to, wrapping her chubby arms around his neck. “Aw, thank you, baby. You’re so sweet. Good morning.”

“Nana,” she says, pointing at you. Lucy and Jimin smile, although you don’t notice, too hyper fixated on Soori. 

“You wanna go with Nana?” Jungkook leans over towards you, handing her over before he’s pulling away playfully. She whines. “Alright, alright. I’m sorry,” he says, laughing. 

“Come here,” you tell her, arms outstretched and she falls into them swiftly. She giggles some, clapping two times before she’s turning back to Jungkook, shooting grabby hands at him.

“That’s what I thought.” He takes her into his arms. 

You gasp, feigning offense. “Traitor!”

“You guys are cute.” Jimin voices his thoughts out loud, unable to contain them as he takes the sweet scene in. He doesn’t voice how happy it makes him, though. He doesn’t tell you guys that seeing the three of you together like that makes him feel like he’d found the last piece of the puzzle – one he couldn’t when Ira was around and his expectations of seeing his best friend in a loving family dynamic sort of tumbled when she wouldn’t play her part. 

Jungkook looks over at him, smiling as he bounces Soori in his arms, whose already looking at you like she’s about to betray him this time. He smiles, silently agreeing with his friend, almost as if he understood what he was thinking. Almost like he was feeling it, too. 

~

“A tankini? Really, ___?”

“It’s cute! Plus, it’s appropriate for the job. Soori tends to tug at my clothes at times, I can’t wear a bikini.”

“No, no. I get that much,” Lucy says, “but a tankini?”

“It was on sale!”

“You get away with too much by being drop dead gorgeous and having the face of an angel.”

“Your compliments won’t make me want to wear my tankini any less.”

“I beg of you, don’t wear the tankini.”

“But it’s pink,” you protest, spirit a bit deflated although you know she’s kind of right. 

“May I?” She points at your suitcase and you nod, plopping down on the bed a little dramatically. “Okay, I see the potential,” she says, throwing shirts and dresses around. “This!” She holds a white strapless one piece swimsuit. It’s one of your favorites – simple but cute. 

“That one gives me a wedgie.”

“Something’s got to give!” She throws the bathing suit at you. “Also, don’t blame the swimsuit blame your thiccy.”

“Did you just call my ass thiccy?”

“Yeah, I got it from Jimin.”

“Ew,” you say, looking at her. “Ew.”

“Here,” she says, throwing an oversized blue button up shirt your way. 

“What about pants?”

“Use that as a dress!” You’re about to protest, “and that’s final.” 

You throw a firm nod her way. The shirt was long enough to pass as semi-modest so you opt out of protesting. 

“So,” she says, sitting on the spot you’d left empty on the bed as you begin to change. “Have you decided about when to talk to him?”

“Yeah,” you say, pulling the bathing suit up your body. “Tuesday. Tuesday after he comes home from work. I’ll have it all perfectly rehearsed in my head.”

Lucy smiles. “That’s good. The both of you will be well rested after this weekend and you’ll be able to have a sensible talk.”

“Yeah, exactly!”

“Do try to, you know, sleep at night.”

“Shut up. I’m feeling fine! Running on caffeine and adrenaline, but fine.”

She laughs. “Ready?”

“Ready!”

“Let’s go.” 

“Wait,” you say, making her turn around, confused. She lets out a nod of understanding when she sees you grabbing Mingyu’s sweater, which you’d neatly folded to give back to him. 

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” she reassures. “It’s gonna be a good day!”

“God willing, Lucy Lu. God willing.”

You sigh, giving yourself a little pep talk for courage before you exit the room, ready to take on the day. 

~

The rest of the morning, as well as the beginning of the afternoon, had really catered to your inner child. Yes, it was your job to take care of Soori but the rest of the kids seemed to love you just as much and so your hands had been full. You’d swam in the pool with them, built sandcastles, played mermaids and even had a little water balloon fight that seemed to interest both the children and the adults alike. By the time noon hit and Jungkook and Taehyung were starting to roll the burgers around, you’d been convinced to sit at the kid’s table. Which wasn’t a table per say, as they’d wanted to have a little picnic and so you’d found yourself sitting on one of the many beach towels they’d retrieved from inside to make their own picnic blanket. 

It’d been sweet and fun, exactly what you needed after having to walk down memory lane this morning. And in a way, it added to the lighthearted mood you’d ended up your talk with Lucy in. Kids were easy – well, kids came easy to you. You found them to be less complex than people gave them credit for. They were easily entertained as long as you were willing to step inside their little world, which at times played out to be more entertaining than your own. 

By the time 3 p.m. rolled around you could start feeling the shift in atmosphere, though. They were exhausted, you included, as a sleepy Soori fuzzed about in your arms. 

“I think it’s time for a nap, kiddos,” Mai says, her words followed by whines of protest from the kids. 

Sun acts as the voice of reason, though, as she says, “but can we keep playing afterwards, auntie Mai?” she pleads, turning to you, “will you still play with us after nap time, ___? Pleeeeease.”

“Of course,” you tell her, free hand caressing her hair. “Plus, it’d be funner then because you guys will have more energy.”

“I am a little tired,” Dae says, his Rs running a bit, making him sound ten times more adorable. 

“See? We all need a nap. You guys can go inside the play room and make it a little mid-day pj party, how about that?” Mai’s idea comes as a success, the kids jumping with excitement, some even hugging her. She turns to you, voice a whisper when she says, “I’m kinda badass at this.”

Your lips form a pout and you nod at her. “You are.”

She smiles at you before she’s officially on nap duty, gathering all the kids and bringing them inside the house. You bounce Soori in your arms, her eyes half closed already, head wobbly as she fights to stay awake. You give her a kiss on the cheek, making your way to the sunbeds where the boys are drinking beers and talking about some game they’d watched the night prior, the team scoring the winning goal only three minutes before the game was over. 

“___!” Jin says the moment he sees you, making them all turn their heads in your direction. “Aren’t you god sent? I think my kids like you more than me today.”

“My kid likes her more than me at least once a week,” Taehyung says, smiling at you. 

“Thank you, thank you. I do birthdays, weddings, baptisms.” You say, making them all roar out in laughter. 

“You do have that midas touch when it comes to kids, ___.” Hobi tells you, leaning back and taking a sip of his beer. 

“I probably enjoyed that more than they did.” You smile, feeling a bit shy under their praise. 

Jungkook smiles, feigning a casual front as he takes a sip of his beer, eyes on you. Wet hair, a little ruffled from the day’s activities. A big blue shirt that’s mostly wet, too, and that bathing suit that as modest as he knows you tried to aim for, does very little to keep him away from what he knows is underneath. Your cheeks are officially crimson and your body golden. He can’t help it when his eyes travel down, the softness of your skin drawing him in. You’re nothing if not perfect and if he were to reach out, he could run his hand down your leg. Not sexually, per say. Just… touch. Touch so as to let you know what he thinks. What he feels. 

He composes himself for a second before his eyes are on Soori. “She ready for a nap?”

“Yup.” You nod at him, looking at Soori under your nose. She smiles and when you follow her line of vision you see that it’s Yoongi and his silly faces that pull it out of her. “I can go put her down, if you want.” 

“No, let’s go together,” he says, standing up, coming down to kiss her chubby cheek. He turns to his friends one last time, bowing before saying, “gentlemen, I’ll be back. Take this time to decide who’s ass I’m beating next in Badminton.”

As you turn around and walk towards the house, you can’t help but laugh at the remarks that follow, his friends absolutely going ham on him, all lighthearted blows he opts to ignore with a chuckle of his own. 

“You’re like the meme of the girl standing in front of the burning house.”

He looks at you, frowning in confusion. “Excuse me, what?”

“Oh my God, you’ve never seen the meme of the girl standing in front of the burning house?”

“No, but that sounds horrible. Was she okay?” You laugh as you turn to him, noticing the way real concern laces his features.

“It’s funny! It’s like a cult favorite, too. I’m pretty sure it’s been around for a while. Like back in the 9GAG days. You know, B.C.” You smirk his way, not missing the way he rolls his eyes at you. 

“Hey, I loved 9GAG. It was funny.”

“Of course you did.”

You step inside the house, walking in front of him and laughing when he pauses in his steps and says, “what’s wrong with 9GAG?”

“Nothing,” you tell him, smiling and dragging him upstairs by the arm. “It’s always an honor to be in the presence of people that have witnessed history.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he tells you, chuckling at your little bout of wittiness. 

You make it inside of Soori’s nursery, promptly changing her diaper and getting her into a pair of dry pyjamas. She falls asleep halfway into this, making you both laugh and bask in a quiet satisfaction at realizing just how much fun she’d been having. When you put her in her crib, you take a second to just look at her, neither of you saying much, simply taking her in. 

“She’s perfect, huh,” you whisper. 

“She’s so perfect,” he whispers back.

Jungkook smiles at her before turning to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and kissing your cheek. It all feels… domestic. Tender, lovely and sweet. The knot in your stomach that’d been growing bigger and bigger for the past couple of weeks begins to break, slowly, releasing a small army of butterflies that seem to both excite and calm your nerves. You kiss his cheek, basking in the bliss his proximity brings. 

“Let’s go back,” you tell him, “you have asses to kick.”

He smiles, lips coming to yours in a quick peck. “You should relax. Drink some wine with the girls, get some sun.”

“If I have one sip of wine and lay by the sun I’ll probably end up like her,” you say, looking down at Soori.

“Do it, baby. I got her.” 

The knot breaks entirely, wings fluttering violently as they’re freed after so long. 

You’re in love. 

~

You’d taken Jungkook’s advice, laying on the sunbeds with the girls, glass of wine in hand as you snack on the fruit platter Mai and Seulgi had prepared. You’d even fallen asleep for all of fifteen minutes, which had recharged your battery more than you’d originally thought. You’d think it’d be quieter with all the kids sleeping, but the boys and their very serious game of Badminton kept the ambiance just as loud as before. At one point, you’d all taken the roles of spectators and cheerleaders, rooting for your competitor of choice. Jungkook won, yet again, and you didn’t miss the smile he shot your way, overly confident in his skills. Overly confident in his ability to pull reactions out of you. This one in particular he’d found adorable, seeing the way you flustered at his actions, hiding your face in your hands for a second before you went back to feigning nonchalance. 

Now you were all scattered around. Some in the pool, some by the beach, a couple of you still in the sunbeds, soft music playing from the speakers. It was rather blissful, if you were being honest. 

You’re in the middle of small, lazy talk with Mai when you suddenly remember,

“Oh, I have to get Soori’s swimming diapers. She ran out but Jungkook said he had spare ones somewhere…”

“Oh, yeah,” Mai says, “he keeps them in the pool house. Go inside the bathroom, they should be in one of the drawers.”

You smile at her, thanking her before you’re making your way to the small, white house that sat at the end of the big backyard. Making your way inside you see that it’s mostly for storage. Floaties, surfboards, spare sunbeds. You notice that the door to the bathroom is open slightly, but don’t make much of it as you walk towards it. Both you and Jungkook let out a loud scream when he appears by the door frame. 

“Holy fuck.” You whisper yell, hand on your mouth. 

“You scared the living shit out of me.” His own hand comes to his chest, leaning against the counter and steadying his breathing.

“Me? You scared the living shit out of me! Why are you in there with the lights off like a crazy person?”

“Why didn’t you turn the lights on when you came in like a normal person?”

You both stare at each other for a second too long before you’re breaking out in laughter. 

“I came to get Soori’s diapers,” you tell him, mid-chuckle. 

He raises his hand, showing you a handful of diapers. “Me too.”

“Ah,” you say, walking closer to him. “Great minds think alike.”

“Mhm,” he leans against the counter once again as you stand in front of him. “My heart’s beating so fast, dude.”

You laugh. “You’re so dramatic, dude.”

“Hey, you can’t dude me.”

You roll your eyes at him playfully. “Fine. You’re so dramatic, Jungkookie.”

“I’m not! Look,” he takes your hand in his, bringing it to his bare chest and placing it over his heart. He’s still wet from the pool, skin warm from the sun. His heart is beating a little irregularly, you must admit. 

“I’m sorry,” you say, adding to the drama of it all as your voice grows soft. “I’ll put a bell around my neck the next time so I don’t startle you.”

“Ha ha, funny.”

“Oh, I am.”

You can’t explain it, but the air shifts around you. Jungkook can’t explain it either, but he welcomes it. 

“Yeah?” 

You smile, cheeks growing red for whatever reason. Or perhaps for all the right reasons. He can dismantle you with a few words and that’s one your favorites by far.

“Yeah,” you breathe, eyes growing heavy as his own look into yours. In a matter of seconds they’re landing on your lips. And then he’s kissing you. 

The kiss holds the same nature this morning’s had, perhaps a little less playful. A little more intentional. Like you’re both finding a means to an end just so you can bask in the journey of getting there. When you sigh into his lips, Jungkook brings you closer, hand on your cheek as he parts your lips with his tongue. The kiss grows heady, your fingers carding through his wet locks and his hands land on your waist, squeezing some before he’s turning you around until you’re leaning on the counter. The swiftness with which he handles your body has a moan escaping your lips and he feels the way you smile against his mouth. He pushes his hips into yours, drunk on you already, determined to pull those little sounds out of you. 

“Wait,” you say, parting your lips from his, laughing a little when you see his flustered state, lips red and swollen in his signature pout. “What if someone walks in?” He smiles, eyes not leaving yours as he leans to the side and closes the door, locking it in a beat. He’s about to kiss you again but you interrupt him. “Soori?”

“Baby monitor in my back pocket.” He kisses you. “We’ve got like, twenty minutes give or take.”

You laugh, kissing him back, arms wrapping around his neck as you breathe into the kiss in giddy anticipation. “Think you can make me cum in twenty minutes give or take?”

He pulls away, but it’s only an inch. He scowls, a smile on his lips that takes your breath away. “Is that a challenge?”

The air shifts yet again, air growing dense this time. “Yeah,” is all you can muster.

“What do I get?” 

You hum, pretending you’re deep in thought. “Me?”

“I’ll do it in ten.” 

You laugh, sweet music to his ears and his smile meets yours in a kiss. It’s deeper this time, grows sloppy soon enough and Jungkook wastes no time as his hand cups your tits over your bathing suit, grunting a bit at the fabric getting in the way before he’s pulling it down in one swift movement. He brings his mouth to your nipple, expert little sucks that have you throwing your head back as your fingers pull at his hair. You lean back, head hitting the mirror as your breathing grows heavier. When you come back up, you push him back with a hand to his chest as you come to stand in front of him. You erase the frown from his face the moment he sees the way you roll the white fabric of your swimsuit down your legs, leaning back against the counter. 

“Better than the mini skirt,” he says, towering over you as he pushes his hands against the counter. 

You bite your lip, smiling at him with dark eyes before you’re turning around, your hands falling in front of you, tits pressing together as you push your ass back against him. You look at his reflection on the mirror, giggle a bit when you catch him staring, lust filled eyes scanning over your body. 

“Like what you see?” your voice is teasing, cocky even, and it comes to no surprise when Jungkook’s firm hand comes to your waist, holding you in place before he delivers a hard smack to your ass. The pain translates to pleasure in a brief yet delicious second, eyes closing as you moan and bring your body forward. His hand lingers for a while, softer this time as he caresses the warm skin before his fingers travel south, parting your slit and drawing lazy circles against your clit. 

“You’re so wet, baby.”

“Fuck, I am,” you pant, head lolling forward as you breathe into his touch. 

“You’re a little brat today,” he says, matter of factly, staring at your reflection in the mirror as his fingers expertly pull little moans from your lips. 

You look up at him, fucked out eyes pleading, “need you inside me.”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Yes,” your words get caught up in a whiny moan when he pushes two fingers inside of you. “Please.”

“That’s more like it. So pretty when you ask nicely.”

His eyes don't leave yours and you see the way he pushes his swim shorts down slightly, wrapping a hand around his cock before he’s lining himself against your entrance. He teases your hole with the head, smirking at the way you squirm in his hold at the mere action. He wishes he could tease you further, but Jungkook’s time is limited and he knows that much. He pushes his cock inside of you, gasping when he bottoms out. His hips pick up the pace right away, wasting no time as he starts fucking you the way he does when all he wants is to make you cum, perfectly angled so he hits all the right places repeatedly. 

“Fuck, that feels so good, baby,” you mumble, words breaking at the intensity of his thrusts. You close your eyes, try to steady your breathing out but he has other plans as his hand wraps around your neck, pulling you up some as his fingers close around your throat. 

“Keep your eyes open.” 

He looks at you through the reflection in the mirror, takes you in as he fucks you, a low groan escaping his lips when he feels you clench around him. His face contorts in pleasure, a grin pulling at his lips when he realizes you’re already close. The hand that wraps around your throat tightens, applying more pressure at the flesh, making you feel a bit lightheaded in the most perfect way, aiding to the way your senses zero in on him and the way he makes you feel. You know you’re close the moment your tummy tenses, his cock massaging your g-spot with each push and pull of his hips. 

“Oh my God,” you breathe out, hand clasping around his own as you make him press harder. “Don’t stop.”

He moans at your actions, at the way you beg for more with your body when your words fail. He keeps that exact pace up, thumb and middle finger pressing into your throat a bit deeper, just the right amount to have your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your body falling back into him, head on his shoulder as you cum around his cock with a silent moan. The sight before him feels straight out of the craziest of his wet dreams and it makes his cock throb inside of you as your walls milk him through your orgasm. 

Your body shakes a bit as you fall on top of the counter, your hand coming to his hip to get him to stop moving for a second as you cringe a bit in overstimulation. 

“Victory is sweet,” he says, bringing his hand to your back, fingers running down your spine in a soothing manner. 

You smile at him. “I was confident all along. Just needed an excuse to get you to fuck me.”

“Aw, baby. All you had to do was ask.” 

He pulls your body up, hands on your hips as he turns you around and sits you back on the counter. He lets out a low grunt when he pushes his cock back inside you, your pussy pulling him in right away and he knows he won’t last long. 

“Fuck, you feel so good.” 

You giggle, brains completely fucked out before you say, “we’re having a quickie in the bathroom.”

Jungkook scoffs, hands closing around your tits, hips thrusting into you slower, letting himself enjoy it. His head falls, eyes fixed on the way his cock pushes inside of you, moaning at the sight alone. His gaze travels up, taking you in. It’s so hot inside the bathroom he can feel the way his body sticks to yours every time he fucks into you. A single drop of sweat falls from your chest, traveling between your tits before it lands on your navel. His eyes close in a mix of bliss, disbelief and pleasure. 

“You’re so sexy, baby. Shit, I’m so close.”

“Cum for me, Kook. Need it so bad.”

Your arms wrap around his neck, bringing him closer to you as you kiss him, lips locked in his as he breathes out into the kiss, little whines leaving him as he lets himself fall into the feeling completely. You become conscious of him, let yourself enjoy him in this state, when he’s so close to letting go he grows a little desperate, hands all over yours, needy sounds passing his lips, hips lazily moving into you. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he says against your lips, pulling away so he can bury his head down the crook of your neck. He gets carried away – too carried away. His cock throbs inside of you, hips slowing down their pace as his body tenses for a second. He’s about to let himself relax, let himself cum, and it’s then that he realizes he’s still inside of you. “Fuck.” he looks down, pulling out and wrapping a hand around his cock, pumping once before he’s cumming on your leg. You bring a hand to your mouth when you notice, trying to muffle your laughter. “Shit, that was close.”

“Yeah,” you say, bringing his face to yours. “Got carried away?”

“Yeah. Completely let go of the principles of conception for a good minute.”

You laugh. “No conception would’ve taken place. It would’ve been a creampie at the max.”

“Don’t say the word creampie, my dick just jumped and we can’t go again.”

“You’re such a boy,” you say, bringing your lips to his. 

“I’m a man,” he protests, words muffled by your kiss. 

“Mm, yeah you are. You’re also a daddy so let’s get those diapers inside.”

“Don’t say the D-word, my dick just jumped for real and we really can’t go again.”

“Oh my God. You’re so filthy minded!”

You push him off of you playfully, pulling his shorts up before you’re doing the same with your previously discarded swimsuit, jumping a bit as you roll it past your ass. Jungkook smirks at your struggle. 

“Mmmm,” he hums. “Do that again.”

“Have I ever told you you’re an ass man?”

“I’m a you man, baby.”

“Shut up.”

“Shut me up.”

“Oh my God!” 

You both laugh at your flustered state that only seems to edge him on further, but it’s short lived. Your hands land on the door knob of the pool house at the same time, making you giggle before your smiles are falling as you realize that you’re about to do the walk of shame and have no idea how to get out of it.

“Shit,” you say. 

“Shit, indeed,” he says back. 

~

To your fortune, the walk of shame isn’t that bad. It isn’t bad at all, actually. The kids had woken up from their naps and had everyone’s attention so nobody noticed your absence much. To your misfortune (and Jungkook’s) it doesn’t take you long to realize that Mingyu keeps Dae entertained as they play around with water guns. 

Jungkook lets out a big sigh that you don’t miss before he’s clearing his throat and saying, “hey, bro. You made it.”

“Hey,” he says, a little too giddy for his friend’s liking. “Yeah, sorry I’m late. Went on a hike this morning, could barely move afterwards.” He waves at you, a smile on his face.

“Gotta work on that stamina,” Jungkook says, mostly playfully with a little hint of something else. 

“You should come with me the next time, we can work on it together,” he bites back, no hint of anything but playfulness in his words. 

His eyes land back on yours and you give him a tight lipped smile, taking the diapers from Jungkook’s hands before you’re letting him know that you’re gonna go get Soori. He smiles, feels the need to pull you closer, give you a kiss in front of everyone, take your hand in his. Anything. But he doesn’t. He just nods and then you’re on your way. He doesn’t miss the way his friend’s eyes scan over your body, a stupid smile plastered all over his face that makes his blood boil a little. 

You don’t really notice it, though, making your way inside the house and going up the stairs to make it to Soori’s room. She’s awake, jumping a little when she sees you walk inside the room. 

“Hi, baby,” you coo. “Did you have a good nap? Are you ready to keep having fun?”

“Nana,” she whines, making grabby hands at you. 

“Come here.” You get her out of the crib, taking her to her changing table before you’re getting her swimming diapers on and putting her in a clean swimsuit with cute daisies printed all over it. “You’re so cute.” You kiss her cheeks repeatedly until she gets ticklish, pushing you away as she cackles.

You sit her against your hip before you exit her nursery, walking the long hallways and going down the stairs as you sing her a little song she babbles along to. It’s then that you brave yourself for what you’re about to do, walking inside the kitchen, quickly finding Mingyu’s sweater that you’d left on top of the breakfast table this morning. It’ll be quick and harmless. You’ll just hand it over to him, thank him and go about your business. 

It’s a good plan. A great plan even. It’s also a plan that crashes down before it can even take off as you see him make his way inside the kitchen. 

“And so we meet again.” He smiles when he sees you, looking down at Soori and smiling even wider. 

“Hey,” you say, a bit nervously. 

“Came to get some beers, the boys are out.” He walks closer to you, hand coming down to rest on top of Soori’s head as he caresses her hair softly. “Hi Soo Soo.” She smiles, falling into his arms as quickly as he reaches them out towards her. It’s in that moment that you realize that he’s closer to Jungkook than you’d originally thought. He has to be if Soori’s this comfortable around him. 

“Thank you,” you say, passing his sweater over to him. 

“No worries. Sure you don’t wanna keep it? It’s gonna be just as chilly tonight.”

“No, that’s okay.”

“You kinda disappeared last night,” he says, bouncing Soori on his hip, looking down at her so as to not have to look at you when he says this. 

“Yeah, I was really tired, couldn’t get to bed soon enough.”

“It was nice getting to talk to you. I was looking forward to today… just so we could do it again.” He laughs a little, shaking his head at his words. He doesn’t mind your silence, though. “I was thinking… maybe we could grab a coffee when we’re back in the city?”

“Coffee,” you say, and he can’t tell if it’s a question or a statement. 

“Or dinner! Or a movie, or something. Just… hang out. Get to know each other.”

“I’m sorry… I- I don’t think that’s gonna work.”

He smiles. “Yeah, perhaps me asking you this right now isn’t the smartest move, huh?” He looks down at Soori. You’re silent yet again. “Perhaps I’ll leave it up to fate.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps we’ll bump into each other in some random place like the grocery store or in the middle of a really busy street and… I’ll ask you again. And perhaps you’ll say yes.”

You feel bad. You feel bad because as dense as you might be when it comes to receiving attention, you don’t fail to see that he likes you. Genuinely, sincerely likes you. Or at least likes the idea of you enough to want to pursue it further and get to know you. 

“Or hey,” he says, making you look into his eyes again. “Maybe I’ll make my own fate.”

~

“Sorry what,” Jungkook’s head turns so fast he’s sure he’s given himself whiplash, grateful to not have taken the sip of beer he’d planned on the moment he started talking because he’s sure he would’ve spat it out. 

Mingyu’s idea of making his own fate was… something, to say the least. And so there he was, next to Jungkook as they both started the fire for the grill, asking him to be his wingman. 

“I mean, perhaps it was a bit wrong of me to ask her out while she’s on, you know,” he says, looking at Jungkook and pointing at him with the tongs, “the clock and whatnot. But fuck I don’t know. She’s just so-” he sees the way Jungkook looks at him in shock and it makes him chuckle. “Am I making any sense right now?”

“No.”

“Yesterday- we hit it off. But you know, it was casual. We barely got to know each other in a,” he pauses for a second, and every pause makes Jungkook’s blood boil further. “Deeper level. So I tried to not look into it that much. But then I got home and got in bed and all I could think about was her. Like, fuck, I felt eighteen again. She’s so beautiful. She’s so fucking sweet. And so I knew it couldn’t end there. So I just asked her out.”

“When?”

“In the kitchen, when I went to get the beers. She was giving me my sweater back and I thought to myself, might as well.”

“And what did she say,” Jungkook asks. 

“She said no. She said she doesn’t think it’s gonna work.” Jungkook lets out a breath he very much knew he was holding. “But I blame myself for that. I mean, I get why she wouldn’t agree to it right now. She’s technically on the clock, like I said, and I get why it could be perceived as inappropriate.” 

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, eyes a little lost, quite literally begging for the earth to swallow him. 

“But that’s where you come into the picture.”

“How exactly do I come into the picture,” he says, but what he really thinks is, I already am in the picture, dumbass. She’s mine. He also realizes this would be an extremely childish thing of him to say.

“Well, you know, we’ve been friends for so long. You can put in a good word for me, sort of encourage her to-”

“You want me to encourage my nanny into going on a date with my friend?” His words have edge to it but Jungkook doesn’t care anymore, not that Mingyu seems to notice, too caught up in the visions of a future with you he’s formed inside his head. 

“Well, when you put it like that it sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen, I get it,” Jungkook scoffs. “But, you know, maybe you could do it in a lighthearted manner. Like, yeah he’s a great guy! You totally deserve to be happy! You know, kinda like… a brotherly figure. Yeah! That’s it!”

“You’re fucking insane.” Now he really doesn’t care that his words have bite to them. And Mingyu’s head is still way up in the clouds for him to notice they do. 

He chuckles. “Maybe I am. But she’s…,” his eyes find you in the crowd, “different. She’s special you know?” 

Yes, I know, is what Jungkook wants to say. But instead he says nothing. 

Mingyu looks back at him. “But hey, I’ll find a way. I’m telling you, man. This was written in the stars. Luck is on my side. Then you can play cupid,” he says, patting his back. 

Jungkook laughs faintly. Not because anything’s funny, but because he’s glad the conversation is over. 

“I’ll be right back.”

“Sure, I’ll get this started,” Mingyu says, motioning to the grill. 

Jungkook tries to stop it, but he can’t help it. He feels the way his heart constricts inside his chest. He’s angry, furious even, but he can’t do anything to release said anger. He had to sit through that conversation and pretend like his friend’s words were only fucked up because he was trying to get with his nanny, not because he was trying to get with his- 

Girlfriend.

Jungkook wants to call you his girlfriend but he knows he can’t. He knows he has no right to call you that because you aren’t his girlfriend. Because Taehyung was right – you guys weren’t exclusive. You didn’t owe him anything. Not a title he hadn’t asked for. Nor loyalty. Nothing. If you wanted to, you could very well accept Mingyu’s proposal. He was there, at your disposal, and perhaps even in ways Jungkook hadn’t been. He’d been straightforward with you. Bold, even. Jungkook almost had to admire it. He’d gone up to you and simply… asked you out. Showed interest, shot his shot. He liked you. He liked you and Jungkook knew he liked you in a way that you deserved. The realization sinks into him, a punch that knocks the air out of him as he makes his way through the garden and out into the beach. 

He’s so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t notice you noticing him. But you do. You notice the way he talks to Mingyu, see the way his eyes grow darker with each passing second. You see the way he pushes the anger that threatens to leave him away. See the way he makes his way through the garden, steps a bit lost, like he doesn’t know where he’s going. You see the way his face falls with every step until they land in what you can only describe as sadness. The moment he’s out of sight, you excuse yourself from the conversation you’d halfheartedly been in, and go after him. 

He faces the ocean, takes in the sun as it begins to set, the air growing colder around him, the breeze making the waves choppier before they break at his feet. His mind is blank now and he’s almost grateful, his thoughts unable to attack him any further. All he can focus on is the sky turning colors and the ache that grows inside his chest. 

“Jungkook.”

Your voice is a whisper that gets caught up in the wind and for a second you think he doesn’t hear you, but then he’s turning his head around, eyes on yours as you make your way to him. The sand feels heavy on your feet, almost like it wants to stop you. But once you’re face to face with him he smiles. He smiles and you almost want to buy it but you know it’s not fully there. Nonetheless, you smile back. Your lips pulling up with the same nature as his. 

“Hi,” he says, looking at you for what the eternity of a second can hold before his gaze is back to the blue of the sea and the pink of the sky. 

“What happened?” You don’t have to pretend like you don’t know something did. You see the way he smiles again, only this time it holds something more. Bitterness, perhaps. 

He doesn’t look at you when he says, “Mingyu told me.”

“Told you what?”

“About him asking you out… he really likes you, you know?”

“Jungkook, I’m sorry. I- I said no. I told him-”

“I know,” he says, and it’s soft, holds no anger or resentment. “I guess that I’m just realizing that if you hadn’t said no… I couldn’t really hold it against you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Your voice grows faint, a silent plea. You want him to look at you. 

“I can’t pretend like you owe me anything. And that’s on me, I guess. No- I know. I know it’s on me. And so I guess it’s catching up to me.”

You scoff, turning your face away from his, your own gaze fixated on the sea. The sky paints itself orange. You wrap your arms around your body, shaking your head in disbelief. 

“You still don’t get it, do you?”

He’s silent, and for once you welcome it. You don’t think the words you say next could leave you if he weren’t. And although brave, your voice is soft when you say,

“Jungkook, I love you.” You feel it when his eyes are on you. “I love you,” you shrug, a faint laugh leaving your lips. “I love you in the heat of the moment and I love you in the warmth of it. I love you when it’s cold. I love you when it’s freezing, even. I love you. And you don’t get it still. And perhaps I should try and find better words in hopes that you’d understand but I’m afraid that all I have is…,”

You pause, look into his eyes. 

“I love you.”

~

★taglist★

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[iznsfw]

Eunbi and Taeyeon threesome where Taeyeon unnie teaches Eunbi how to properly please her man 👀

In Absentia Lucis, Tenebrae Vincunt

Part two of Dulce Periculum | Previous Part | Next Chapter

Girls Generation's Kim Taeyeon x IZ*ONE's Eunbi x Male Reader Smut

10,144 words

Categories | sex-ed_professor!Taeyeon x valedictorian!Eunbi x student!Reader, mommy kink, lesbian sex, squirting, breeding

Content warning | teacher/student relationship, age gap (all legal, needless to say), slapping, degradation

mobile masterlist | masterlist

This piece is edited by and dedicated to @midnightdancingsol and @capslocked, two of my favorite writers. Thank you so much, I appreciate it! Originally had a different plot, but ideas hit, and I've been working on this ever since. There wasn't supposed to be mommy kink here, but then I realized that no one has written Eunbi calling someone mommy here before, so I wanted to try that but with my top two, Taengoo ;) IZ's best girls coming your way... now!

--------------

The clock says 10 AM sharp, and the skies are a warm sight of lively blue. Morning has long been here, yet for Kwon Eunbi, it’s an hour she can view as nighttime. With the school uniform keeping her warm from the wind of the powerful air-conditioner, she feels right at home. For once, she cares not for paying attention to lectures or reprimanding her classmates’ buzzing conversations. For once, she puts herself first—not her schoolwork, not her classmates, but her.

It’s not like she can continue her usual routine of studying  even if she wanted to. Her body’s worn from endless days of studying and playing. Her forearms, formerly milky white, are now peppered with purple bruises. With the number of textbooks she’s flipped through under a flickering lamplight, it’s likely that she'll need to replace the lens of her round prescription glasses. 

Still, she’s Sleeping Beauty herself. Chocolate hair falls messily but prettily over the pillow she rests on (AKA your arm) as she finds solace in slumber. The softest of snores barely make it past her full lips pressed together. 

You gently rock her side to side, admiring how pretty she is even when she’s resting. 

Too bad she's sleeping due to stress.

During class. 

For a girl like her, classes are a lifeline. School in general is. She would never dare fall asleep in class. However, here’s the deal: she’s been put through stress harsher than the healthy amount (stress can be healthy, you’d argue, because if someone has nothing to stress about, then surely they aren’t alive?), and she’s starting to give out. Her grades start to stagger as time goes by. She almost passed out during volleyball training and could barely button her uniform right for school because of how tired she is. Eunbi’s leading the volleyball team for your senior year after all; it should be expected, but it just isn’t fair for her, and especially not for you, the one you’d argue cares for her the most. 

Seeing her tired and battered makes you refuse to rouse her. She deserves the rest, more than anyone. 

Jo Yuri, the annoying kid in class sitting at the desk beside you, thinks otherwise. She raises her hand high in the air mid-discussion of the importance of condoms, attracting the attention of your teacher. 

“Professor Kim!” says Yuri; she stands up proudly. Roll your eyes at her, warning her to stay in her lane, but when has Jo Yuri ever done that? She quirks her brows back at you mockingly.

Kim Taeyeon glances at the girl's direction. Shit. Wait, she might have missed her—she’s looking back at Yuri with an inquisitive look. “Yes, miss Jo?” she asks. 

“Eunbi is sleeping.”

“I see that,” says Taeyeon simply. She looks at Yuri from behind her gray-framed glasses with a slightly squinted look. “Anything else less of the obvious I should be informed of?”

A few small chuckles pass around the room. Although people won’t say it directly to Yuri, they all revel in her humiliation. Yuri’s the definition of a brat, and not the good kind. Her parents have funded the school's activities for decades, and because of that, she thinks she’s got a one-way ticket out of anything.

Unfortunately, you aren’t the train conductor. You can’t usher her away for every passenger’s convenience.

“W-well,” Yuri answers, a little unsurely now, “isn’t it basic class etiquette to be alert for discussions? You can’t make an exception for her.”

Taeyeon’s lips create a small, sarcastic smile. 

“Kwon Eunbi works hard, Miss Jo,” Taeyeon says. “If anyone deserves a cut of slack, I’d say that it's her, someone who’s been truly conscientious, and not one who doesn’t put in effort even from a place where most of it has been done for her.”

Yuri’s cheeks transform into two red roses. “B-but, but you scolded me when I fell asleep during class.”

“That’s because you’re not an honor student, Miss Jo.”

The quietness is almost death-like. If it went on any longer, the classroom could become a graveyard. Everyone’s thinking the same thing. You can see it from the looks in their undead eyes. 

“Now, Yuri,” continues Taeyeon, smiling, “would you like to say anything else?”

“No, Professor.” 

“I thought so. Please take your seat.” 

Taeyeon lifts her gaze from Yuri. She then addresses all of you, the calm yet piercing look in her eyes never fading. 

“It would do us well if the only interruptions my class will have from now on are insightful questions and answers. 

“Shall we continue?” 

The class murmurs in response, their words echoing in the room. Yuri glowers in her seat, suddenly taking particular interest in her manicured nails. Even from afar, you can see her red ears.

The combined choir of young voices responding to Taeyeon rouses Eunbi from her sleep. Her eyelids flutter, and she gazes at you with sleepy eyes. She still hasn’t registered everything. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” you say with a grin. 

Eunbi looks at her surroundings, then at Taeyeon, who’s continuing to teach. 

“Oh God, oh fucking fuck.” 

Suddenly, her notebook and pen are all on her table, clicked and open. She glances at you with panic in her beautiful face. “What did I miss?” she asks frantically. 

You don’t know how to tell her that you’ve witnessed a once-in-a-lifetime sighting: the annoying kid getting a taste of their own medicine. 

But you smile instead. 

“Nothing, babe.” You kiss her forehead. “A whole lot of nothing.” 

- 

“Class dismissed,” Taeyeon announces. “Have fun at the intramurals, everyone!” 

The class files out rather slowly. Some are caught up in conversation about her earlier scolding of Yuri, and others are still arranging their books into their backpacks. Whoever’s already taking their exits are yelling their goodbyes, waving at her cheerfully; she waves at them, too, with a kind smile of her own. Despite her strict upholding of rules in class and her no-bullshit approach to discipline, she wants to show her students that she’s still a good teacher. She remains the same: someone who wishes to make a healthy connection with her students. 

The last to leave are the boy and his little valedictorian of a girlfriend. It’s been a year since they two had gotten closer. Although they never officially announced it, Taeyeon can see the status of their relationship in the little things: their joined hands that draw envious looks, Eunbi's head on his arm, and the playful touches. It’s sweet seeing connections grow between her pupils, but she can’t help feeling a little... 

Jealous? 

Is that what it is? Taeyeon contemplates as she sits back down. 

Yes, she is jealous, but not because she misses the proud, youthful feeling of being an adult nearly out of high school. She misses those days, that’s for sure, but it isn’t the root of her feelings. (She’s certain—not entirely yet—that it’s because of their relationship. 

She’s only been teaching for a year, so she makes it a habit to catch a pretty face among the masses. For example, Kim Minju is pretty, but the honor student has a different kind of prettiness in her possession. It... attracts her. 

And so does the boy.)

Said boy looks at Eunbi expectantly whilst he waits at the doorway. He’s the delinquent, isn’t he? His wrinkled uniform is enough indication—the punks always dress like that no matter the dress code or situation. They could be at their grandfather’s funeral and they’d still dress like a missing kid who’s learned to adapt to the streets. 

“You coming, Eunbi-ya?” he asks her.

Does he ask her that privately? When he’s fucking her? When he’s pinning her down to the bed while her parents are out of town, as he gives her a hard and well-deserved pounding? He’d look so good doing that; he's far more attractive than he likes to make it to be. He’s nineteen, after all—boys are still like that at that age, even though they’re barely teenagers anymore. 

Taeyeon can’t take her eyes off him. She doesn’t know how to; it’s like they're permanently glued to his movements, like she's only capable of looking at him and nothing and no one else.

What do her moans sound like when he’s fucking her? 

Turns out she can, but only for the girl. She’s saying something to her boyfriend, but with how much she’s absorbing her—her body, her face, her cute little smile—she doesn’t quite hear everything.

Her moans would sound so pretty; she speaks so prettily that she’d sound good even when she’s below him. She’s a screamer, I bet, she looks like the type of girl who’d cry when— 

“Professor? Excuse me, professor?”

Speak of the fucking devil (... angel?). 

It was unusual of her to be caught by her students without her guard up. She has to remain focused. When those large, bouncy things are directly under her nose only restrained by a school blouse a tad too small, it’s difficult to. 

“Yes, Miss Kwon?” asks Taeyeon, brought back to Earth. 

“Um.” 

Eunbi has her hands behind her back. Her eyelashes flutter beautifully as she guiltily fails to meet her eyes, leaving much to Taeyeon’s imagination about a fictive good little Eunbi, who’d sit on her teacher’s plaid-skirted lap and say soft, innocent things like that and—and—

“I’m sorry for falling asleep in class,” Eunbi says in a small voice. “I didn’t mean to. I was just so tired, I… I couldn’t help it. And I know that’s not a good excuse—”

I swear, if you put your tits in my face one more fucking time, rambles the voice in Taeyeon’s head—(it’s been there for a while now, and comes to life whenever she sees the wind blow Eunbi’s skirt up just right, or when the school collar fails to hide the forbidden view when she bends down to pick up a fallen pencil); it’s not my fault anymore if I do anything.

It’s such a raw, wrong thought, because it isn’t Eunbi’s fault either that she’s so tempting. It’s not her fault that those lips of hers curl downwards in the cutest, most pitiable angle or that her body is naturally carved to fit more than a handful. However, when one knows what they feel is morally repulsive, they tend to put the blame on anyone else but themselves.

 “Water under the bridge, miss Kwon. We all have our moments.”

Eunbi looks surprised. “Really?”

“Really,” Taeyeon repeats. 

Eunbi smiles widely. Even the way she grins is pretty. “Thank you, professor,” she says gratefully, bowing ninety degrees. 

Taeyeon chuckles amusedly. “No need to bow like I’m an emperor, of course. Just do your best in the intramurals. I believe in you.”

“Yes—” 

- 

“(,) but I don’t think I can do this. Please, oppa.”

“Eunbi, that’s nonsense. You’re a great player, you’re gonna be fine.” 

Star player and top student Kwon Eunbi squirms fearfully. That many achievements to her name and she still has doubts about her own abilities. 

“I'm... I'm really not,” she says in a small voice. 

She looks around the covered court with fear dancing in her large brown eyes. All these students—her classmates, anyway—are rooting for her. Thirty-six and more have all laid their eyes and expectations on her. She figures that’s probably what scares her more rather than the game itself. 

“I don't want to do this,” she whines.

“But you can’t do anything about it now, can you, baby?” you ask her. Your hands frame her nervous face, rubbing your thumbs over her cheeks. 

“I can, actually,” she says. “I can just go up there, say ‘oh, fuck this, fuck you all; I’m not doing it,’ watch them go bananas over it.”

Her lips have a sarcastic side to the smile it holds, but you know her. You know that she’s actually considering it. For the first time in her school life, she’s contemplating ditching it all for something, anything that isn’t this game.

She’s looking down at her rubber shoes again, but you raise her face to look you in the eyes. “You signed up to play. You’re a varsity player now. So you have to go do it whether you like it or not.”

Eunbi presses her forehead to yours and closes her eyes with a sigh. “I know,” she whispers. “I know.”

Considering your first intimate encounter was rough lustful sex, the two of you actually really care about each other. It made you realize that your crush on her isn’t purely from lust. You care about her, and you’re not happy about the amount of stress she's been under. To be fair, the whole school is suffering, including you, but you’re a known failure. You couldn’t give less of a fuck if your future transformed into a person, went on its knees, and begged you to take it seriously. Exam season is another Tuesday to you: nothing to care about, nothing new.

But for Eunbi? Exams and games mean everything. She has her reputation of being an honor student and overachiever to maintain. She has her parents, who are constantly pressuring her to join every extracurricular activity under the sun, to please. Additionally, due to a particular school board teacher’s brilliant idea to schedule the intramurals a week before the exam season, she has to juggle hours of eternal volleyball practice and studying and tutoring students to make it through the year. She barely has time in her packed schedule to breathe. 

While the students on the bleachers are roaring and cheering excitedly in their color-coded shirts, she's in a tight sleeveless white shirt stressed to death. 

There’s only a few minutes until the most important volleyball match of her life. What could go wrong? 

(Everything.)

“Baby,” you say softly. “Baby, listen to me.”

Near tears, Eunbi looks up at you. “Yeah?” she asks. 

You kiss her sore fingers, the insides of her thin wrists, and the bruises from the volleyball that mark her forearms. Kiss her where it validates her pain. Kiss her where it hurts. Kiss her where it means something.

“Whatever happens in the game,” you tell her truthfully, “I’ll still love you. I’ll still be proud of you. So just do your best for me, okay? I’ll be there all the way.” 

“You promise?” Eunbi raises two fingers wrapped in medical tape.

“I promise.” Make your promise by gently grasping the digits she holds up. “Hell, I bet Professor Kim would be holding up a ‘Kwon Eunbi 4 The National Team’ tarpaulin.”

Eunbi giggles. You both know who you’re referring to: your sex ed professor, Kim Taeyeon. She started teaching at your high school just this senior year, and looks young for her age. Many students adore her, but she only really has one favorite, Eunbi. Always particularly sweet with her, just like earlier, and always attentive to her intelligent questions. If it weren’t for Eunbi being eighteen going on nineteen and in high school and Taeyeon a teacher, anyone would have thought the latter had a crush on her. 

Her defense of Eunbi earlier just adds to your suspicions. 

If Eunbi reciprocates those alleged feelings, you’d see why. Taeyeon is a charmer. She’s watching the basketball game with crossed arms and a stern look behind her round spectacles. Without saying anything, she attracts people. Anyone can see how beautiful Taeyeon is. She gave a short welcoming speech earlier and you could hear the oohs and ahhs of both parents and students alike. 

“Oh, hush,” Eunbi says, waving it off, but she’s visibly more cheered up. “She likes me, but not that much.”

“If she liked you less, she wouldn’t have let you off the hook for napping.”

“It’s called empathy, dear oppa,” says Eunbi, flicking your forehead. “Don’t s’pose you know what that means.”

“Someone’s got a crush on their sex ed teacher.”

“And if I do, so what? She’s really beautiful.”

Take your biased eyes off Eunbi and you’d see that she’s beyond the statement of just “really beautiful.” Taeyeon has the look and aura of an older friend who’s blunt but loving, and would help you out of sticky situations, but not without tough-love advice. Her hair and minimal makeup always look perfect and natural, besides the fact that she looks quite young for her age. 

But you won’t see that until later. 

“See? If you need anyone to do your best besides me, do it for professor,” you add to make her laugh. “Okay?”

Eunbi wipes the last of her tears. She’s chuckling as she shakes her head at her current emotions. She’s Kwon Eunbi, for fuck’s sake, why is she like this? “Okay,” she says. She sounds a little more assured now. “I will. Thank you, oppa. I love you.”

“Same here.” You kiss her cheek. Comb your fingers through tangled strands of her side fringes left unrestrained by her high ponytail and pat her shoulder. “Ready?”

“Yep. Never been more ready.”

- 

Eunbi’s team lost the game.

It wasn’t her fault. A lot of her volleyball teammates kept missing whenever the white ball was plunged back over the net. And by “a lot,” you mean fucking every one of them. She basically hardcarried the team. More bruises started to appear on her beautiful arms, and she looked more and more discouraged as the game time quickly passed. 

The first thing she did was rush in your arms after the game.

“Oppa,” she muttered softly. She’s all sweaty and wet, but you didn’t mind. She needed you, and even if she needed you while covered head to toe with acid, you’d still hug her.

“I’m here.” 

The second thing she did was weep.

“I fucked up,” Eunbi moaned, burying her head further in your shoulder. Now tears replaced the sweat that coated your skin. “I… I couldn’t catch the ball, and—”

“That’s not your fault, Eunbi. Your teammates were shit.” 

Even as she continued to cry, she went to their defense. “Don’t talk about them like that. They did their best.”

If the situation wasn’t pulling her self-esteem down this much, you’d laugh in her face. “You call that best?” you asked.

Her incompetent teammates made you infuriated. They caused your girlfriend’s wane of confidence and more tears right after. It only made your anger grow from a flame to a fucking house fire. 

“I… I just need a break,” she murmured. “But I never get it. It’s all just stupid fucking games, stupid fucking quiz bees. I’m just some toy to be passed around whenever there’s a competition that needs winning.” She chuckled sarcastically. “Nothing more.”

“Eunbi—”

“I’m gonna take a shower,” she said firmly, putting a full stop to the conversation. She was done here. She didn’t want to go back.

Eunbi took to the school showers after that like she said, and dressed back into her little school uniform for the resumption of classes later. What you didn’t know is, after everything that happened, she still intended to get dirty. 

The program is still going on. Lee Chaeyeon and the rest of the dance club are performing a dance number as an intermission. As the trendy pop beat resounded through the school grounds,  Eunbi dragged you back to an empty classroom and sat you down. 

“Eunbi!” 

Her knees land on the tiled, classroom floor. “Mmm, just... oppa, let me do this.” Eunbi frustratedly pulls down your jeans. She wipes the back of her hand on her lips. “I saw oppa staring at my chest earlier. He was more focused on them than the game.” 

She’s wrong for that. Well, partly wrong but— 

“Eunbi, aren’t there—” Tap her gently on the cheek when she keeps pulling your pants down. “Eunbi, oppa’s talking.” 

Eunbi looks up. “Yes, oppa?” she asks. 

“Aren’t there other ways to de-stress? I—I can buy you some ice cream. Baskin Robbins, just how you like it. We can even cuddle later if you want to. It doesn’t have to always be like this.” 

She’s licking your cock sloppily now, as if she needed to do it or she’d have to repeat a whole game again. Your cock is her source of serotonin and dopamine—even chemistry can’t teach her that. (Sorry, professor Myoui, you’d say; but it’s the truth.) 

Eunbi, with her pouty lips and ponytail coincidentally perfect for what’s about to happen, shakes her head. “No,” she says firmly. “I want oppa’s cock right now. I don’t want anything else.” 

She sucks on your cockhead severely, treating it like her own candy. The pleasure hits, even though it only affects the tip of your length. You moan softly. She moans, too, and it goes on even without touching herself. She loves being a good girl for your cock. That alone gets her off. 

If the school knew of the little tutoring incident that sparked your relationship, they’d be scandalized. That part is something you know secretly makes her wetter than you can imagine. The cliché, teen love story-ness of it all—you, a guy who wouldn't give two fucks about school even if you were paid to do it, and her, someone who’d die rather than put off a day of studying but would get on her plaid skirt coated knees for you—is something she’d like to roll her eyes at, but it's kind of destiny, isn’t it? Just like the stories. 

What if they know? The teachers could suspend you. Better yet, expel you and put it on your permanent record. 

Oh, but they don’t need to know about how fucking pretty Eunbi can look like when she’s being good for you. You can submit the squirms of her thick yet toned thighs, the passiveness evident in her eyes, and the eagerness her voluptuous body holds to pleasure you and herself as evidence. Nothing more is needed to prove it. 

They don’t need to know. 

Eunbi pauses her effortless bobs of her head to moan. “I love your cock, oppa,” she confesses, though it isn't really a confession when one thinks about how evident it is. Her tender licks already hold adoration in them.

Chuckle. You can get used to this. “More than me?” you ask. 

“Nooo... oppa, I love you, too. You know that. But, hmm,” she licks your cock worshipfully, “this is number two. Mwah.”

“Good girl. You can touch yourself, you know.”

Eunbi gives you a clever grin. “I don’t have to. I have you.” 

Touché. 

She resumes sucking you off, letting out soft “Mmph”s of pleasure and satisfaction as she goes. Over time, she’s gotten better at giving you head. Her sloppiness begins to feel fulfilling, and she learns to make good use of her sweet, full lips as she wraps them on the sides of your cock and around it. Occasionally, she pushes up her glasses so that they don't slide off her nose while she goes about her pleasurable blowjob, which adds a more wholesome and cuter side to the daring fiasco the two of you are engaging in. 

“Mmm, love this cock.” Eunbi gives loving kisses to your length. Her tongue erotically stimulates it with languid licks and sets fire to your emotions. “I can’t live without it. Hmph. All I'm ever good for.”

“Eunbi,” you say, concerned, “don't—” 

“Please, oppa,” she says. Her eyes make contact with your own, and she pouts prettily. “Let me do this. I need you.”

Your cock rubs the inside of her cheek. It makes a visible imprint, making her look like she’s munching on ice. She ensures to devote soft laps of her tongue on the sides of your length. When she takes it all in, you gasp. You’re too wrapped up at her tongue also licking your heavy balls to be distracted by her whimpering. The deeper your cock goes inside her pretty mouth, the tighter her throat becomes. Her hands squeeze your thighs powerfully. 

“Fuck.” 

“There’s more where that came from,” she says cheekily. 

“Oh yeah?”

She nods. 

“Show me, then.”

Her lips part, as if going for an open-mouthed kiss, but it simply takes a couple inches of your length, caressing them with the softness of her balmed tiers and wetness of her mouth. She withdraws, then repeats, but now with more of your cock in her mouth. She looks up at you expectantly for approving reactions, but you give them, and would have given them without her expecting you to. 

“Yes, fuck, yes, Eunbi.” Her hair tangles in your hand. She whines a little when your tip reaches further places down her throat. The jeers and yells of school spirit outside you’d love to join in, but you'd choose Eunbi's cute moans any day of the week, weekdays through weekends. “Take my cock. That’s a good girl. My good girl.”

Although she finds it difficult to deepthroat you, you can see her shiver at being called that. She likes it, oh, yes she does: being told she’s under your ownership, and being treated as such. With your cock fucking her tight throat and your hand pulling on her hair like you hate her rather than love her, it's all true. True and clear. 

“Love you, oppa,” she says in between suckles of worship on your dick. Her eyes are watery, but now from the pleasure of having her mouth used. Oh well, it’s better than negative. 

“Love you, too, sweet girl.” That’s another thing you like to call her: good girl, good sweet little thing, which sounds so corny but fits so well with her. And she likes it—and you can’t deny a good girl of being exactly that. Besides, she looks so sweet with her lips parted to fit your cock like that, and her eyes full of tears. She’d— 

The door creaks open. Oh, curse interruption. Goddamned interruption. 

Wait— 

You look up. Oh, fuck— 

“Professor!” you and Eunbi yell out in surprise. 

A stuttering Eunbi withdraws her mouth from your cock, looking at her teacher with bewildered, brown eyes. You aren’t sure what exactly she’s thinking, but you can place fear in that face of hers. You’re pretty sure you look red as hell, too. 

Kim Taeyeon is standing at the door. She’s watching the two of you closely. How long has she been watching? Or... or perhaps she just caught the two of you in the act? Her face holds an expression of nonchalance, like she’s been expecting this to happen.

All the earlier thoughts come back. You were so turned on by the thought of getting caught, but now that it’s happened, you realize you just put Eunbi’s future at stake. You might not care about your own, but you care about Eunbi. She has a whole, long and successful life in front of her, and you might have just ruined it. 

“P-professor,” Eunbi stutters. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Her eyes grow wider as Taeyeon approaches her. With each step Taeyeon takes, she grows more scared. “It’s, it’s not what it looks like! I was just—” 

“Shhh.”

Taeyeon pushes the side of her finger to Eunbi’s lips. There’s little distance between them. Eunbi’s knees would have knocked severely into Taeyeon's if not for the shushing index. 

Eunbi’s flustered by their closeness. Her voice, normally so confident when stating answers in class, is broken in pathetic stutters. “P-professor,” she tries to say, weakly, her hands waving about, “it’s really not what it looks like. I was just—we were j-just…” 

“Resting!” you pipe up, getting to your feet. It’s stupid, but it’s the only thing you can think of as an excuse. 

Eunbi nods. “Yes! Resting! I was lying on his lap!” she adds helpfully. 

Taeyeon stares at you two coldly for a few, long seconds, then chuckles softly. “Resting?” she repeats, and tilts her head to the side. 

“Y-yes. And, and I was drooling, and it was—”

“Miss Kwon.”

“—really hot so I kind of, kind of fell to the—” 

“Miss Kwon.” Taeyeon's eyes flare dangerously. “I told you to keep that mouth shut, didn’t I? Or do you just not listen to your teachers anymore?”

Eunbi’s eyes water. That’s the biggest insult anyone could ever tell her. School life means everything. If she couldn’t listen to her teachers, what good can she be? 

You place a reassuring hand on her shoulder and step forward. “It was my fault, professor,” you say. How to get balls big enough to admit to that? Just ask Kwon Eunbi for a fucking blowjob, that's how. “I wanted a quick, uh, blow,” you wince, “so I asked her to do it for me. It wasn't her fault.”

“I knew what the two of you were doing, sweetheart. I wasn’t born yesterday. My only problem is that Eunbi doesn’t know what she’s doing, nor is she doing it properly.”

“Professor—” Eunbi tries to defend herself. 

“Sit down, boy,” says Taeyeon to you. You do, hesitantly. You have no idea what’s about to happen. She gestures to Eunbi. “Miss Kwon, come here.” 

Eunbi follows blindly, getting on her knees again. She’s still looking at her teacher with disoriented eyes. 

“Look here, sweetheart,” Taeyeon says. She grabs Eunbi’s chin to direct her gaze to your cock. Then, she wraps her hand around your member and jerks upward. ‘Have you blown your boyfriend much?” 

“S-sometimes,” says Eunbi, looking up at you unsurely. But you’re too busy gasping at your teacher's strong, firm hand to return her gaze. 

“Don’t you know that the first thing you have to do is to give him a few pumps? It’s not necessary, but it’s good to get him going. Just like this.” Taeyeon slowly jerks your cock up and down, keeping a grip that’s tight but not too much that it’s uncomfortable. Her thumb rests on your cockhead to rub its sensitive surface, making you tense up. 

Eunbi watches with hesitant yet curious eyes. 

“Don’t go too fast now,” advises Taeyeon. “The whole point is your mouth. That’s where you want to hold nothing back. Do you understand me?” 

Even as she teaches Eunbi how to pleasure you, something that's a little dangerous even for a sex ed subject, her voice remains the same as her teaching one: calm, no-nonsense, and nurturing. You’re a little turned on by it, you’re not gonna lie. Additionally, there’s Eunbi sitting there with her hands on her lap, looking like an obedient puppy as she listens to Taeyeon, ever the valedictorian. 

“Yes, professor,” says Eunbi. She looks at you closely. “Oppa, are you okay?” 

“Never been better,” you rasp out. 

Taeyeon sifts through Eunbi's hair with her gentle fingers. “See?” she assures her. “He’s alright. He’ll feel even better when you learn how to put that pretty mouth to good use.” 

Scarlet creeps onto Eunbi’s ears and face. Her thighs squirm again. “But it’s wrong,” she whispers. Uncertainty is written all over her face. “We could get in trouble for this, professor. I’m, oh, I’m so wet, b-but my grades—”

Taeyeon has had enough of her talking. She leans forward and shuts her up with a firm kiss. 

Your mouth falls open. 

Eunbi's pupils grow large like a cat’s in the dark. Her hands are suspended mid-air, seemingly unaware of what they should do. Meanwhile, Taeyeon has already grabbed Eunbi's tiny waist, insistent on keeping her close to her. 

But then, like ice, Eunbi melts. She melts into the sin, she melts into Taeyeon. Her lips find themselves locked tighter with the older woman’s. She becomes the one who pushes forward, looking for more of that sweet taste. 

Should you feel hurt? Scandalized, perhaps? Angry? You attempt to find the morally correct emotion to have in this situation, and you come to realize that you feel none of them. Instead, as you watch your teacher dominate your girlfriend in a French kiss, you’re painfully turned on.

Taeyeon lets her go after a few seconds. She cups a hand around Eunbi's full breast. Gently, she parts the buttoned lapels of the uniform and helps the girl undo her bra. Eunbi's expression remains one of disbelief and arousal. It switches to pure horniness when Taeyeon starts to suck and bite at her big, beautiful breasts. She begins to squirm, but Taeyeon holds her in place. 

“Professor…” Eunbi whimpers. “Please, they’re so sensitive.” 

“Shhh, let mommy do the work.” The professor squeezes the two round breasts at the same time, licking one’s nipple lovingly. “You like your teacher sucking your tits like these, Eunbi-ya?” 

“Hnnn, yes,” squeaks out Eunbi, closing her eyes. “Professor, I—”

“It’s mommy,” corrects Taeyeon, kissing her student on the lips. “I thought you’d pick up on that, darling. You’re my top student, right?”

“I’m sorry, mommy. P-please suck my tits again. I’ll be a good girl.” 

Never did you think that hearing your girlfriend call an older woman mommy would make you so hard. “Fuck,” you curse. You rise from the chair to join them. You’ve never heard of morality; its meaning evaporated the moment their lips joined.

“No, boy, stay there,” Taeyeon orders. “I’m going to show your girlfriend how to really ride dick.”

All of a sudden, not one article of clothing lies on Taeyeon’s body. The sweatshirt and jeans no longer hide her beautiful figure. Now, you can behold the glory of her body completely. Her form is toned and small. Her pilates, which she talks about when asked during classes, really helped carve her perfect belly. Her pink nipples, hard from the air-conditioner wind, sit on top of her handful-sized breasts, begging to be touched. 

Eunbi looks like she’s just seen a goddess. Her worshipful gaze runs up and down the professor’s buttocks and breasts. Most importantly, there’s Taeyeon’s small, shaved pussy to marvel at. “Mommy,” your girlfriend says, “mommy, you’re so beautiful.”

“Thank you, baby,” says Taeyeon, bearing a confident smile. “Watch and learn, okay? And you,” she looks over at you, and leans down so only you can hear as she whispers: “Try not to cum so fast.”

You’d defend yourself if she didn’t slam her beautiful ass so quickly on your lap. That’s when your cock slips inside her, causing the both of you to moan and, additionally, for you to figure out exactly why she told you that. Your teacher is so fucking tight. Your cock immediately is covered by her juices, from base to tip.

“Oh, fuck!” Taeyeon cries out. Both her eyes and mouth become round at the pleasure she takes in. She looks at Eunbi in disbelief. “You really take this dick everyday?”

Eunbi doesn’t know how to respond. All that comes out of her mouth are moans. You suppose she’s a bit lost about what to feel right now as well. Perhaps she’s rejecting what she feels, which is turned on. But that can’t be it: her fingers are already under her skirt, trying to replicate the pleasure Taeyeon must feel about your dick. 

“D-does it feel good, mommy?” she can’t help but ask. A small part of her young heart is mortified at the scene of her boyfriend fucking another woman, but another part is curious. She’s never seen her teacher in this state, and probably never will again. Eunbi’s mind is voracious on any hints of pleasure Taeyeon feels.

“Y-yes, oh my god,” says Taeyeon. She tries to maintain a neutral expression, but fails. “See what I’m doing? Circle, fuck, your hips a bit, just like this, s-so it feels good for you, too.”

Taeyeon lifts her hips a little, letting the rest of your length breathe for a little while. “Then take a few of it inside to get ready. You just have to get used to the size. After you’re used to it, you can start riding him.”

You’re left breathless in the wooden school chair as your sex ed teacher does exactly that. After riding only the first couple inches of your dick, she starts violently slamming herself up and down. You have to hold on to her muscular thighs to subconsciously direct her to slow down. And she does, but still not at a pace you can take. Her breasts keep bouncing in front of your face, as if they were asking you to devour them or choose death. And, with Taeyeon’s slick, tight cunt around you, you really don’t want to die yet. 

Capture her breast in your mouth. Her sharp fingernails press down on your scalp. Her pitched moans beat on your eardrums. You can barely even hear Eunbi’s soft cries of pleasure anymore, nor can you place the sound of skin slapping and touching. Even the outside sounds of students cheering and referees narrating sound inaudible when Taeyeon’s obscene moans fill too much of the atmosphere.

“Good boy, bounce me on that big fucking cock,” growls Taeyeon. Her pussy grows impossibly tight, and you’re forced to perform your own upward thrusts to continue penetrating your painfully hot teacher. “Give our girl a show, you know you want to.”

You’re not a submissive guy, but you can live with Taeyeon praising you and calling you a good boy. You can live with her sweet, delectable vagina fucking itself on your cock. Fine, you admit you can live with Taeyeon basically confirming her ownership over your girlfriend Eunbi. But more than anything, you want to please her, to please your mommy. So it’s inevitable that you fuck her faster and rougher, summoning all the might you have in your body to make her scream.

Eunbi’s definitely been given a show, one that’s good enough for her to get off to. “Fuck, oppa,” whines Eunbi, ecstatic. The gleam in her eyes exhibits slight jealousy and more bliss. “It looks like it feels so good. I…” Her eyes shut, and her lips purse. “I’m so close.” Her fingers pump faster. Her hole struggles to catch up with the almost brutal pace of her digits. 

“I’m close, too, fuck!” Taeyeon says. It’s almost like she’s angry when she throws her hips up and down, back and forth. She has more strength than your phys-ed teacher, that’s for sure. It’s like the gyrating of her body holds no self-control, and her mind is just on you and your cock, and nothing else. “Yes, yes, make me cum! Make mommy a slut for your cock!”

And you’d say you succeeded—Taeyeon’s voice reaches volumes a human being should be incapable of making. Her legs curl around your waist and behind the school chair to keep you as deep as possible as she cums on you. By then, you’ve sucked her breasts to redness and soreness.  By then, Eunbi had reached her climax. You’ve managed to stave off your own. Some other time, you’d look back and wonder how you did it.

“Good boy,” Taeyeon gasps. She lifts your face up and kisses you on the mouth. “Such a good boy.”

“I want a turn, too, mommy,” says Eunbi. She’s pouting; there’s a whine tied around her tone. “Please? Please?”

Your professor removes herself from your lap. Her body has lost some of its former strength, but her actions still possess womanly confidence. She takes a slow walk over to Eunbi, kneels to her level, and lifts her chin upwards. 

“Only if you promise to show what mommy taught you and clean off your oppa’s cock.”

“I will.” Eunbi nods furiously and repeatedly. She’s more than happy to do that just to have a turn of your cock. “I will, please, please let me!”

She crawls over between your legs. She forgoes the jerking part of Taeyeon’s hands-on lesson and goes for your cock with her lips immediately. Eunbi’s pink tongue glides on the coat of slick Taeyeon left on your length, delicately cleaning it up. The juices are replaced with her saliva. Carefully, inch by inch, she bobs her head on your dick, collecting the delicious taste of her teacher and the musky scent of your cock.

Her throat still isn’t used to your size. So, when she tries to take you in like she did earlier, she gags. You’re careful not to thrust in her mouth too much. You don’t want to hurt her, or block her from creating those adorable sounds of determination and arousal.

“Good girl,” coos Taeyeon, softly encouraging the girl to go on. “Just breathe through your nose, sweetheart. Take deep breaths. That’s my girl.”

When Eunbi comes back up for air, she’s breathless. Her shoulders ascend and fall with difficult pants. “Did I do good?” she asks expectantly. 

“You did better than earlier,” Taeyeon says. “Did he taste good?”

“Yes, he did. But you were delicious, too, mommy.”

“You’ve always been a sweet girl, Eunbi,” Taeyeon remarks. She plants a kiss on Eunbi’s neck. “Just for that, you can have your oppa’s dick and taste mommy at the same time.”

Eunbi draws in a little excited breath. She practically drags you to the teacher’s desk that Taeyeon directs the two of you at, and lies down almost immediately when asked. Taeyeon pulls down your girlfriend’s schoolgirl skirt and volleyball shorts, which boasts a prominent cameltoe. But you and Taeyeon are able to see the real thing after just a few tugs of her clothes downwards.

There’s a genuine smile on Taeyeon’s face. “What a pretty little pussy.” She turns to you. “Tell me, is she tight?”

“See for yourself, professor,” you say without realizing it.

Even Eunbi is surprised. She lifts her back off the table. “Oppa— ah!” 

Taeyeon’s finger finds shelter in Eunbi’s grippy pussy. Eunbi struggles and moans. You can see her little hole clasp onto the singular finger that intrudes its space, and how her enclosed walls part. 

“Oh, ,” says Taeyeon with an evil grin on her goddess-like face. “She is.”

She moves her finger in and out, watching Eunbi’s blissful reactions to it. 

“How can she take your cock if she’s this tight?”

“I’ll—ah!” Eunbi winces. Her legs close together, but that doesn’t stop the greedy Taeyeon. “I’ll do my best, mommy, I promise! I just want oppa’s cock!”

“Very well. Open your mouth and legs, Miss Kwon. Take those glasses off, too, and get ready. We’re not going to be gentle with you.”

Eunbi does as told. The honor student in her is still there behind the sex toy she’s become for you and Taeyeon. Her immediate obedience says it all. While Taeyeon throws one leg over the side of the table and her face, you part her legs. Eunbi’s legs never failed to amaze you. Her thighs, though muscular from running around the covered court all day, are full and jiggly enough to hold and use. Maybe one day you’ll give in and fuck her thighs. Cream them with semen milkier than her skin itself.

But her pussy will do just fine today, you think, if not better.

You and Taeyeon go to town in your respective parts at the same time. You fill Eunbi up with one, hard thrust, causing her to moan into Taeyeon’s pussy. Taeyeon sighs happily, too; Eunbi’s warm, wet tongue feels insanely good inside her pussy. Although inexpert and untried, just the steady thrusts of her tongue inside her can do. 

“G-good girl, Eunbi,” she sighs. “Good girl.”

Eunbi’s whine of happiness turns into a groan after you form a steady rhythm. The teacher’s desk creaks back and forth along with your hips. You and Taeyeon squeeze and play with Eunbi’s huge tits, sometimes slapping them to draw a muffled, helpless reaction from her. But one look into each other’s eyes confirms this: you need to have each other, too.

Blinded by pleasure to be afraid, you lean forward and kiss Taeyeon. She’s hardly surprised, as if she expected that to happen. She earnestly kisses back. She’s sighing against your mouth. She tastes sweet; you understand now why Eunbi kissed her back like a greedy animal earlier. Your tongue navigates every sweet spot in her mouth, curling ‘round Taeyeon’s own tongue, as she fucks Eunbi’s mouth and you fuck her cunt.

Taeyeon bites your lower lip, licks it, then smirks. “Good boy,” she whispers sultrily. She kisses you again, ignoring the look of utter passiveness in your face caused by her tone and words. Gripping onto Eunbi’s bouncing boob in one hand and the other grasping the back of your head, she pulls you in for a deeper kiss. It’s something you’re glad to reciprocate; you don’t want to hear how pathetic you sound moaning because of Eunbi’s little pussy.

Eunbi has never eaten pussy before, but she knows what feels good. She tests it out by keeping a firm, hard pressure on Taeyeon’s clit. It elicits a positive response: a slightly louder moan from the other woman, and the rougher gyrate of her hips. She can’t see anything besides Taeyeon’s back and round ass. Her legs are numb from the consistent pounding, and she truly can’t feel anything besides breathlessness and pleasure. Her mind goes back to what Taeyeon taught, and finds that what makes her hornier is that Taeyeon is forgoing all that she taught—going against her own teachings, being a hypocrite—and fucking her mouth like she’s just a toy. It makes her so incredibly turned on.

“Fuck! Keep fucking me like that, Eunbi! Fuck yes, fill her up, fill our good girl up like that!”

Your thrusts get rougher, and Taeyeon feels Eunbi’s mouth give their all in eating her. The short, blunt flicks to her clitoris become full-on sucklings alternated with tongue-fucking. Unable to handle it, she lets out a guttural cry, slapping one of Eunbi’s breasts roughly, then wrapping her hands around her pretty neck. 

“Come on, toy.” She slams her ass down on Eunbi’s face angrily. Her hands squeeze tighter around the girl’s throat. “Do what you’re good at. Eat my fucking cunt, make me cum.”

Eunbi begins to cry. Her squeal vibrates on Taeyeon’s pussy as her tongue plays with and fucks Taeyeon’s pussy. It’s so messed up, but Eunbi being used impulsively makes you fuck her harder. Her pussy traps your coming-and-leaving shaft as a steady spray of clear squirt goes your way. Eunbi’s screaming, trying to vent her pleasure by eating Taeyeon out more, which causes another orgasm from the teacher. The two pairs of bouncing mounds tempt you, and you have to pull out to blow a heavy load on Eunbi’s breasts. 

All three of you are moaning and sighing together, creating an unholy choir of sin that the school choir would find repugnant. Eunbi shivers as Taeyeon lifts herself off her used mouth. Your legs feel like sticks against a heavy wind. You have to grab on the desk for support.

“Did she just squirt?”

Look down at your wet polo shirt and shrug, finding humor at the obvious question and its obvious answer. “I guess so,” you reply.

Taeyeon’s eyes glint with menace. “Make her do it again,” she says.

“What?” you ask, just to make sure you’re hearing her correctly. Now all the humor is gone. She can’t be serious. You don’t know how you’ll make it work. You’re barely coming down from your high, and Eunbi is at the brink of passing out. You can’t give her another orgasm; the two of you are way too spent.

Taeyeon, however, can go for days.

“I said,” Taeyeon grabs Eunbi by the hair and pulls her up, “make her squirt again.”

Eunbi’s tired frame relies on Taeyeon’s to maintain her position of sitting, but she doesn’t need a hand in her hair again to shake her head. She whines in protest when Taeyeon’s fingers play with her pussy again. 

“Mommy, no! I’m too sensitive! You can’t!”

“Fuck her pretty cunt, toy,” Taeyeon whispers in your ear. Her finger, which slides back and forth on Eunbi’s clit, grows stronger and faster. “Teach her to take a good cock. Don’t mind her whimpering. She wants it.”

You’re automatically inclined to follow your teacher’s instructions. So, when you slide into Eunbi’s snug pussy again, she screams in pleasure. She grabs for anything—your hand, a chair—but Taeyeon pins her hands behind her back. They’re messily making out again. Eunbi lets out her moans in the form of greedy, wanton liplocks. Meanwhile, you cry out feral groans watching the two beautiful women kissing. 

Eunbi’s wrists have fought themselves out from Taeyeon’s hand and have led themselves towards the valleys of her teacher’s tits. You're pretty sure she’s done so to finger her, which is proven when Taeyeon gasps and pins her down even more roughly to the table. They touch each other just the way they like it: roughly and unforgivingly. 

Whenever Taeyeon twists Eunbi's nipples, your girlfriend’s cunt clamps protectively around your cock. It’s delicious—it’s difficult to drag it out when all the pleasure from your hands and Taeyeon’s makes her so tight and wet. Taeyeon’s harsh flicks send wet sloppy fluid leaking on the desk. Eunbi’s inexperienced yet somehow skilled fingers drive Taeyeon to hiss and bite down on Eunbi's full lower lip. 

“Oppa, mommy’s too good,” Eunbi mumbles weakly. Her legs shake. “And mommy, oppa’s cock is so big. It fills me so well.” 

“I know, baby. You’re taking him like a good girl.” 

Giving Eunbi one last kiss, Taeyeon scoots over to you. She’s unimpressed; her arms cross, one over the other, below her killer breasts. “How are you going to make her squirt if you can’t fuck her fast?” she asks.

“I’m sorry, professor.”

“And from the boyfriend of a top student, too. You’d think she at least taught you something. Pull out. Now. Somebody needs to teach your girl a lesson.”

You’re actually glad to be able to stop. Eunbi moans at your hard cock leaving her hole, but she screams again—this time because of Taeyeon spanking her cunt.

“Mommy! Mommy, no—mommy!”

“Dumb little girl,” snarls Taeyeon. Her hand makes several rough landings on Eunbi's cunt over and over with little time to recover. You're horrified. “Aren’t you a valedictorian, Kwon Eunbi? You should know better and teach this no-good delinquent to fuck you properly. Do you even remember your classes?”

“Mommy!” Eunbi sobs. Her hips flinch and retract from Taeyeon's hand. “Hurts!”

The girl yelps and whines, but you can see her biting her lip as she watches the teacher punish her. It took your teacher risking her job and literally slapping your girlfriend's vagina for you to realize this: your girlfriend is a freak. 

“You like how it makes you cry, don’t you?” asks Taeyeon. She slaps the wet folds until the skin around it is red. “Fucking pain slut.”

“Hurts, hurts, hurts! G-gonna cum again, mommy, please stop, you’re going to make me cum, haaah!”

Eunbi squirms and wails, jutting her legs out while she cums again. In the end, Taeyeon gets what she wanted: a spray of fluids from Eunbi’s pussy. She rubs her nub to prompt more of her squirting. The younger girl’s lower body jerks and moves away, but Taeyeon’s hand always finds her clit again.

“It took spanking to get you to squirt?” the teacher asks, slightly amused.

Eunbi can do nothing but sob and nod. What else is she supposed to do? She looks more tired now than she was post-game. Her naked, beautiful body’s wet and used beyond limit. “Mommy… I’m tired,” she says. “Please.”

“Take your time, angel.” Taeyeon slides Eunbi’s glasses back on her face. Behind the lens, her eyelids barely make it past her brown irises. “You were such a good girl for mommy today.” 

Eunbi nods appreciatively. She nuzzles into Taeyeon’s hand. Her whole body feels like it’s going to break anytime soon. 

Taeyeon turns to you with a dangerous look in her eyes. That’s how you know she’s not done, at least with you. She still hasn’t had her load, and she’s not leaving without it.

“Now let’s see,” she says, slowly, walking over to you with her shapely hips swaying, “if your little boyfriend can be a good boy.”

You gulp. You’re in for a long ride.

-

“You sure you can handle me, professor?” you ask. You’re being a hotshot again, you know that, but it’s the only way you know how to deal with nervousness. 

You’re gliding her hand across her thighs, taking pleasure in this stalling that benefits you in more ways than one. In doing this, you get to touch Taeyeon’s slim, sensitive thighs, and toy with her prepared pussy.

Taeyeon’s shivering breath is the only indication of her pleasure. Her face remains stoic, almost offending, as she sits on the desk. Her clothes are anywhere but on her body. It’s not like you mind.

“I’d ask you that same question,” she says. She knows how to keep her guard up enough to make you red with humiliation. “But it seems like I know the answer already.”

Pinch her pink nipples. You’re copying Taeyeon’s way of letting her feelings manifest in her little actions and ways, hence the harsh squeeze of your fingers on the nubs. Eunbi watches on with anticipation, searching for the right scene to repeat in her mind to reach her climax. She’s whimpering quietly.

Taeyeon’s slandering you, you know it. It just so happens she does so incredibly sexily. Finding her deserving of a good fucking, line up your cock with her entrance and rub yourself on her lips. Your tip rubs her clit repeatedly. 

“Which is?” you ask innocently.

Taeyeon’s breaths are short. “You’re too scared to fuck me,” she says, with no less confidence. In a way, she’s correct, but not for long. “Mmm, you’re scared of what would happen if you get to it and breed me. Your life would be over, you know that, and you’d ruin your girlfriend’s potential to excel.”

Sarcastically: “Am I?” 

“Ohh, oh, yes, you are.” It’s a nice save from her. “And that’s not all there is to it, isn’t it? You’re scared of me. What’s promising I won’t tell anyone of what we did? That’s right: nothing, and that’s what scares you. It scares your delinquent ass more than you’d like.”

The table creaks backwards. Taeyeon moans.

You steadily thrust in her, reminding yourself not to be gentle as you would to Eunbi in lighter situations. No, your slut of a teacher deserves to be pounded. If she had to resort to her students to get a good fuck, she might as well get it.

“Am I still scared, professor?” you ask.

Taeyeon’s pussy is as good as the first time you entered her. But now it’s obvious she’s so much more turned on; her pussy grips your cock in any way but gently. Her tits start to bounce again. 

“M-maybe,” she weakly gasps out. “With how small your dick is, I’d see why you are.”

Although her lie is clear, it sends a blow to your ego. You force her folds to welcome and swallow more frequent thrusts. Taeyeon is whining; or is that Eunbi you’re hearing?

Take a look at Eunbi and see that her legs, just like her teacher’s, are wide open. She’s rubbing herself while squeezing one boob in her hand. Her moans mix in with Taeyeon’s as she watches the two of you go at it. Needless to day, she’s enjoying the view.

Minutes later, you’ve got Taeyeon sprawled out even more on the table (if that were possible), with a tired Eunbi still kneeling at her side, as you fuck your teacher’s cunt to the point of oblivion. Your cock still drips with semen and precum from the previous sessions, but your desire to keep fucking Taeyeon’s tight, perfect pussy keeps you going. It’s the defiance, the sheer fucking will to go on that prevents you from passing out.

“I think it’s your thing, professor," you whisper in her ear, shedding the honorifics for just this time. “Fucking a pretty little high school student because you know she's curious, and being railed to shit by some delinquent. This cock—”

—Taeyeon gasps when you sharply thrust inside her— 

“—and this pretty face—” 

—Grasp Eunbi’s face in between careless, rough fingers; she whines pitifully— 

“That’s what gets you off, right?” you ask. “Because you know it’s messed up: how good it feels being ruined by some boy who should be a nightmare but is instead the guy who can give you a good dicking-down. It just isn’t right, is it, Kim Taeyeon?” 

“Oh, oh my god,” Taeyeon rasps. Her eyes are wide. You've just stripped her feelings out for her, one by one, while you rail away at her mercilessly. Her face is red; she's humiliated, nonetheless, but she's turned on. So fucking turned on. 

“So cum for me, mommy.” Speed up your thrusts, grab her bouncing tits before dragging your hand up to her throat. There, you squeeze. “Cum like you want me.” 

And cum she does. Taeyeon lets out a feral scream, squirming and struggling on the table. Eunbi, who was touching herself to you and Taeyeon fucking, crawls over and seals her lips around Taeyeon's clit, catching the squirt she expels. Taeyeon propels herself forward, causing your cock to bury itself deeper inside her and Eunbi's mouth to take more and more of her pussy. 

“Yes, yes, yes, good boy! Fuck me, fuck me like I’m a whore!” Taeyeon cries. Her beautiful face is stretched and scrunched into an expression of pleasure. Her hips never stop going crazy at the doubled pleasure. “Keep sucking my clit like that, Eunbi-ya; yes, that’s a good girl, yes yes yes please—!”

Eunbi squeezes Taeyeon’s breasts and thighs while you release inside her. It goes against what she taught in multiple classes: safe sex, use of condoms, all that, but you want to continue feeling the beautiful wet walls close in on your cock, like it doesn’t want you to leave her hole. 

And if you could, you won’t. But the human body has limits, and it can’t take non-stop sex unless your stamina’s like one of the school athletes. So, you can do nothing but welcome the  darkness that covers your line of vision.

In the absence of light, darkness prevails.

-

The classroom is a mess. White fluid that’s definitely not Elmer’s glue coats the wooden teacher’s desk. You think you’ve broken one of the table’s legs. The floor needs to be mopped with how much of Eunbi’s squirt has sprayed on its tiles.

But you don’t worry about that. Not now, when Taeyeon lovingly takes care of your tired post-sex bodies. She’s dressed now, and although her messy hair and pants indicate a recent frisky session, you don’t suppose anyone would think that. 

 Through it all, you’re still students Taeyeon cares for.

“My good girl, and my good boy,” she says softly. She might be harsh, but her love is real. She buttons Eunbi’s uniform, kisses her, then kisses your forehead. She’s still trying to find her lost breath, but she’s smiling. She’s smiling despite the messed up morality of the situation as a whole, despite your body looking ragged after multiple climaxes and Eunbi’s body and breasts being marked with her own slaps. If she were asked, she’d do it all again. 

“You’ll still be around to please mommy later, won’t you?” 

Just like that, she’s put a mark on the two of you. You’re hers and no one else’s from this day forward, and you can’t decide what to feel about it. You had no idea how to react during this whole sex frenzy, but you think that vulnerable, helpless feeling is exactly what makes you smile. The feeling of having someone dominate you, claim you, own you, especially from someone who shouldn’t be. 

God, you’re a mess. You’re fucked up. Taeyeon is fucked up. And, in her own little way, Eunbi herself is fucked up, too, but that’s exactly why you have each other.

-

Someday you’ll look back at all this. You’ll go over everything—meeting Eunbi, being her boyfriend, the whole fiasco with Taeyeon, all of it—and perhaps you'll laugh a little too. All of it is absurd, and is that of a plot straight out of a pornography video. To think it might happen to you, a guy who’s barely above average, would be the main cause of your reminiscent laughter.

They say high school days are wild. You find that to be true; you just bred your sex ed professor, called her mommy and made out with her while she rode your girlfriend’s face. To add to that, your first intimate encounter with Eunbi was raunchy, wild sex. And you sit in the classroom, with her leaning against your shoulder, attending another class as if nothing happened. Halfway through a biology quiz, Taeyeon enters. You don’t know if your eyes were just teasing you, but she winks at you as she leaves. It’s a wink that says don’t get too carried away, toy; we’re not done yet.

[ddejavvu]

ok but mei how do you feel about dbf!obi wan

bc honestly if he was my dad’s best friend sheeeesh, i would be so bad about purposely touching him or bumping him or making any contact

this post is 18+, minors dni.

okay yk i have to put this into sw context and do master + padawan dynamics BUT because masters and their padawans typically spend a lot of their time together when their padawan is underage i don't really like the concept of a master being with their own padawan, even though they'd be of legal age when the relationship takes place. it's just not my thing. that being said, if i were a 20+ year old padawan in the jedi temple and (not-my-)master kenobi strolled by, i'd be on my fucking knees.

i truly do think obi-wan is the crush of the temple. all the padawans gather together for sleepovers with their friends and the topic of crushes comes up and they giggle and squeal and freak over the way master kenobi's growing a beard!!! or did you see the way master kenobi brushed his hair back today <3333 everyone in sw just seems to be absolutely obsessed with the guy and i can't blame them.

anyways, on to the meat of the ask.

dbf!obi-wan in sw context -> your master's friend. i won't lock in a master for you even though i def have my own preferences, but basically whoever's apprentice you are, it's someone who most likely grew up with obi-wan and was friends with him for a while. it means you've had him over for dinner a thousand times, and he can be found chatting with your master when you return from your afternoon classes. you're pretty sure they've spiked their tea, but you will never get a straight answer from either of them even though you yourself are old enough to drink.

he's always very kind and warm with you, always takes the time to ask about your studies and your saberwork and congratulate you on whatever gleaming reputations you've acquired.

if your master ever has to take a solo mission, you'll be welcome to stay at the kenobi-skywalker residence. you're more than old enough to stay alone, or in the dorms, but you're rarely strong enough to refuse the offer of sleeping on obi-wan's couch.

you... might manipulate the situation a little. you might play up your struggles with your coursework, putting an emphasis on how terribly you're doing with a class that you know obi-wan excels at the contents of. instantly you're offered a tutor, or a sparring partner if you choose to bemoan your simply awful saberwork. purposefully letting obi-wan corner you and knock you to the mat and stand above you sweaty and panting is not what you should be doing, but you do not have the restraint to stop yourself.

anytime anakin is feeling a little understimulated at the temple and needs to run wild through the streets of coruscant obi-wan will invite you to come with, if only to have someone to stroll leisurely along beside while anakin is bouncing off the walls and diving into dumpsters to see if he can scavenge a part for a droid he's working on. you're friends with anakin, sure, but his master's company is exhilarating. you're also partial to letting anakin pilot any speeders the three of you take together, and cowering in the back with obi-wan about how fast and recklessly anakin is driving. once or twice you've even grabbed his hand when anakin has taken a sharp turn, or drops down a few lanes just to fuck with the two of you, and he's let you squeeze as hard as you want while he uses his other hand to rub comforting circles into your back.

if he sees you in the halls he'll pull you aside for conversation, or he'll share your table in the archives if you're both reading something, or he'll seat himself next to you in the refectory if he sees you're dining alone. sometimes, if you're with your friends, he'll catch your eye and smile at you from across the refectory as he sits down somewhere so as not to 'dull the potential for fun' as you sit with your friends

overall, your crush on him is probably some sort of do-i-love-this-man-or-is-he-just-nice-to-me sheltered-childhood sort of thing, but that doesn't mean the feelings aren't real.

--

best friend's dad as a bonus because i think abt it a lot: becoming partners with anakin through a project for one of your classes, and you head to his quarters to do it, and... and his master is there, and he smiles at you and offers you tea, and you're sitting there trying not to blush because dammit you're a grown adult and you're perfectly capable of being civil and normal around people you find attractive; you've been raised and trained to be a jedi knight, you will not let yourself get wrapped up and distracted with a crush.

anakin's a nice dude though, funny in his own weird way, so you end up hanging out more. everyone kind of thinks you're smitten with him, and you can understand why he's the heartthrob of his own generation, but you're looking over his shoulder at his master <333

i can't tell if i think anakin would know or not. i think that he's very gifted with the force but i'm not sure if i think his specialty would be perception. if you did happen to be a bit too obvious anakin won't ever shut up about it, but he will spare you from teasing in front of his master. behind closed doors though, he's ping-ponging between calling you gross for liking a man over a decade older than you; for liking his master, and telling you he'll have to fake some terrible injury to get you and obi-wan alone in the secluded waiting rooms of the halls of healing sometime soon.

[ndoandou]

Ikevamp bois playing modern games part 2

Vincent

Vincent is way into.. gartic phone

Qnd perhaps skribble.io

Like way into it

He would sit down 12 hours in front of the computer and guess what HES BEEN PLAYING GARTIC PHONE AND SKRIBBLE.IO IN A LOBBY OF RANDOMS

12 HRS IN HES STILL NOT DONE WITH BOTH GAMES

Hed obv speedrun a drawing in a short period of time and manage to make it look *chefs kiss*

Imagine if skribble.io had a vc feature tho

No no, like imagine if people were actually toxic in this goofy ahh game

They would yell down vincent down the mic telling him to go play with photoshop

Randoms are salty that vincent can draw and portray even the most ridicilous prompts which results him with the highest score always

Not to mention hes really good at guessing even the shittiest drawimgs from other ppl

"Broer how- that persons drawing looks ridicilous, even arthur's dog could draw that"

"Don't be mean theo! I could guess the drawing from the emotional connection i felt from it"

Jean

Jean has a shitty brick nokia phone

And he really loves playing snake II

No im serious

Well i suppose momte doesnt trust him with any other phones than that

the last time he was given a smartphone he downloaded some hack and slash game

took the word slash literally and then proceeded to cut the phone into two

comte was too stunned to speak

momte didn’t want his kids to miss out on gadgets but he cant have jean destroying his smartphone

BINGO! a nokia 3310 it is! 

jean didnt know how to react at first, but he found it easier to navigate and thats when he found out baout snake II

found it a bit pointless at first but despite saying that, he doesnt realize that thats the only thing he does besids fencing

snake II is his pre workout

the only thing he will be doing before his fencing practice

before meals

and before bed

‘‘jean are you sure you haven’t had enough of snake II..?’‘ comte asked causiously as he never know how his son Jean would react

jean looked at comte and stayed silent for a hot minute

‘‘no’‘

Napoleon

OK FLASH BACK TO MY E BOY NAPOLEON FANART FROM 2021

its official

He plays league of legends

Napoleon is deffo a jungle/top main

Jungle preferabbly

Bros actually cracked coz hed turn any non meta champs into an absolute beast

I see him being especially good with pantheon jungle

Hed play league with jean tbh

And jean would be a dedicated top

But i dont see jean being the best player..

No, like imagine napoleon defending jean from "top troll" and getting spammed "?" On his lane

Napo would literally go to that persons lane just to steal their minion last hits

If hes feeling extra hed even use pantheons ult to yeet over to that player to ks all the minions on that person's lane 😭

"Jgl troll gg"

Ok napo is actually not toxic and is rly nice to play with

Hed even supp for you if ur learning a new champ

Hes only toxic to people who are toxic to his buddies

Comte

Ill be honest

Comte looks like someone who would download all games from every ad pop up he gets

And im talking about anything gacha related

He does not care whether the game is explicit or not as long as he can collect pretty characters

Is he interested in the gameplay??? Probably not.

"For what reason did you spend $$$$$$ on xxx game???" Leonardo asked as he scrolled through comte's in game billings, cocking an eyebrow

"Hm? Well i simply wanted to collect all of these lovely looking characters."

"Without leveling up your characters?"

"Non"

"Do you understand how to play this game?"

Comte only looked at him with his unwavering smile

"honestly this is the most ridicilous spending ive witness from you, heh" Leo snorted

"Much appreciated, but i dont recal asking for any input, old friend" comte retorted

Leo looked at him and sighed

"Honestly at this point i shouldn't be surprised"

.

.

This took me forever to upload because i coulndn't figure what type of game comte would play then one day i was like AHAAAAA

Also i didn't proof read as always so pls dont chop my head off :"))

[thinkpink212]

The biggest lessons I have learned being in the work force...

These people are not your friends. Be kind and all, but do not share your life with these people. You can become friends, but I suggest you keep your work and personal life separate.

Do not do more then you're paid to do. Going above and beyond is only something I would suggest to do if that is your own company, if you are up for a promotion or if you do not care/mind being taken for granted. These people will see you work hard and load you with more.

Every year, ask for a raise. In most fields and countries you can and should ask for a raise (usually 10-15%) usually you won’t get your target, but close mouths don’t get fed. So have your ducks in a row, present your case and make sure to make your efforts match your paycheck, always!

Do not take on the role of boss, even when your boss has you feeling like one. Again, unless the check is matching up, stay in your lane and do not tell your coworkers what, when and how to do their job. That is for your boss to do and if they need help with that, they can add it to the contract, pay you for your time or hire an assistant.

Get in and get out. When you shift is over, leave. It is that simple, even if you love your job, having boundaries is not just for you to respect your time but for them to see you respect it - and they will in return respect it too. Those who do not will have a rude awakening when the clock strikes and you get up and start packing. I personally do not even have my notifications on when I am off of work. If they wish to contact me on my time, they can try but I rarely pick up or reply unless it is a request to take a shift due to being short staffed.

Not everybody is a shark, but you can pretend. As someone who is not a fan of getting into a very ‘masculine’ and heavy roll, I’ll do it to get the job done if that’s what’s called for — but I am a soft gentle cinnamon roll, but they don’t have to know that. You can adapt to your environment and do what you have to do before reverting back to who you are and want to be. Don’t stay in that masculine heavy energy for too long either, it’s not fun and very draining — especially for my delicate fellow cinnamon rolls 🩷

Document everything. What you do for the company (i.e anything extra that is not a part of your job directly or anything with large impacts) . E-mails of your requests of absence, vacation days etc. If you have a phone call with your boss/colleagues, e-mail them that same day and thank them for the phone call, and give a short resume of what you agreed to etc.

Do not react to weird threats. My own bosses in the past have alluded to wanting to hire more people because they are dissatisfied with the work-efforts etc. They can be dissatisfied as much as they would like and hire how many they want. They usually do not take this step due to the lack of competent workers, but stull do not slack so much you give them enough excuses to fire you. But still, do not start picking up the slack simply because their other employees/they cannot keep up with demands.

You always have options, so if you are not happy then leave. I think many forget that we got this job and we can get a new one again. For some it may take longer then for others, but there is no rewards for struggling so please get out if it starts affecting your mental, spiritual or physical health. But also know that most work environments mimic each other, so see where the benefits are best, and what is worth the occasional headaches. Not everybody will find a job they love the first few tries, so aim for what you like/can tolerate with enough benefits/good pay that you have the freedome to spend your free time doing what you love. Work to live, never live to work

Xoxo

[snowfrostssimp-books]

DC ONE SHOT

AUTHOR NOTE:

Pair: Diana Prince × Reader / Wonder Woman × Reader

Category: not really that much angst. fluff. Happy ending.

~~~~~

You were out with coffee with the one and only Lois Lane. You grew up with her boyfriend, Clark Kent that you knew was Kryptonian thanks to your adoptive sister Kara Zor-El.

Just for Clark you tried to bond with Lois and seeing as you were both free you couldn't decline when she asked to join her for coffee. You at first had no interest but Clark asked you nicely so you did try to at least befriend her.

You looked up at the plants overthrowing the cars. Villians that usually stayed in Central City, Star City or even Gotham decided to make an appearance in Metropolis today.

It was chaos everywhere.

Your eyes darted across the chaotic scene almost not hearing your phone ringing. You quickly answered the phone barely looking who it was.

Diana: Hey dear, I am afraid I'll be late for date night.

Y/n: I think me too.

Diana: Where are you?

Y/n: I went to get lunch with Lane at our cafe.

Diana: Be careful, okay?

Y/n: I'll try. Diana, please tell me you're safe. Poison Ivy and a bunch of out of town bad guys are six blocks from our cafe.

Diana: I'll be fine. Promise me you'll get to safety. Just stay out of their way-

"Y/n come on!" Lois called making you groan.

Y/n: Diana I'm with Lane right now. I can't promise you anything.

Diana: Get to safety. Please my love.

"Lex is here too!" Lois ran out of the cafe making you groan. "Lane stop!" You grabbed onto her shirt pulling her back into the cafe.

"Luthor has been gone for a year this is the biggest scoop of the year." Lois insisted and you scoffed.

Diana: These are major league villians there, promise me you'll be safe.

Y/n: Only if you promise to be safe too. When you can find me at the Kents farm.

Diana: I promise.

"He's moving!" Lois took off and pulled you along causing your arm the was in the air holding your phone to your ear to get caught in the doors making you yelp in pain. "Lane!" You looked at your dropped phone picking it up stuffing it in your pocket taking off after the crazy woman.

"You're crazy!" You called rushing after her diving and saving her from a flying chair. She quickly got up but you struggled with your sure to be bruising arm.

"Here take the camera." You groaned when she shoved it into your chest but did as told not even asking where she got the video camera from.

"This is Lois Lane reporting live from Metropolis, famed Lex Luthor has made an appearance after a year of silence..." You didn't listen to the woman as she ranted on and on.

You wanted to ask why she kept a camera around that could live stream at any time but decided against it. Simply deciding to keep an eye out noticing all the villains that were now making an appearance.

"Captain Cold? Isn't Star City far from here?" You asked mostly to yourself. Suddenly you noticed the vines that broke through the concrete stretching closer and closer to you.

"Lane!" You threw the camera down on the hood of a car and jumped forward pushing her back only to get smacked by a vine that sent you through the store window that you window shopped in earlier.

"Y/n!" Lois rushed over to you and you groaned right now wishing you had your cousins powers of invulnerability.

"I'm sorry I didn't see the vine." She apologised being careful as she knelt on the glass next to you. You knew she would never put you in danger on purpose, she even kept distance from the scene when you were around but the villians didn't have the same ideas. "You owe me a god damn ice cream, Lane." You somehow always got hurt when she was around and always forgave her after getting ice cream.

You could hear the ground crumbling and it grew louder again making you groan. "Get up, Danvers." Lois pulled your arm and you grumbled pressing your hand on the glass hissing as it cut your skin. You just managed to stand when a car got lodged through the same window you went through making you fall again.

You could hear the fighting outside but now you couldn't see who it was and your blurred vision didn't help either. You laid your head still keeping your eyes on the roof trying to say awake but the spinning was overwhelming.

"Lane!" You called panicked. "I'm right here." She quickly said. All you could think about was wether or not Diana was okay.

"Take me to the Kents farm." You didn't even have the strength to wait for a reply, shock and distress had clouded your mind and taken over.

***TWO HOURS LATER***

You woke up in your 'second' childhood bedroom causing panic to subside until you gasped. "Diana!" You grabbed the sheets to throw it off only then did you notice how dizzy you still were.

"Y/n?" Your bedroom door flung open and you heard footsteps of heavy boots until the door clicked shut. You grabbed onto the bed leaning into it as you tried to walk but struggled.

"My love." You recognised her voice anywhere. "Diana." You said relieved as you squinted to see her but failed miserably.

"I'm here. Let me help you." You felt warm gentle hands on your cheeks immediately making you close your eyes and lean into her touch ignoring your own hissing of pain.

"Why didn't you let the medics help?" You opened your eyes and saw Diana wearing a familiar looking tiara making you frown. "I just wanted you. Wait when did you begin wearing tiaras?" You reached up only for her to grab your wrist with a soft gasp.

"You have glass stuck in your skin!" She scolded and you hummed remembering the pieces piercing your skin.

"Here." She carefully picked you up and when your body pressed against hers you noticed the hard clothing that made you frown.

You looked down seeing body armor but still your mind was too fuzzy to connect the dots or place the outfit. So you let your mind get hung up on it as you patiently tried to figure it out.

Diana began removing the glass pieces and you looked at her blury figure as she took out the glass using the right equipment. You grabbed onto her wrist by the third glass piece she pulled out wanting her to stop but she didn't.

"I'm almost done love." She assured but you didn't let go of het wrist in too much pain.

"You're doing good." She smiled softly as another string of reassuring whispers filled the silence while Diana pulled the glass out and sterilised the wounds and cuts gently blowing on the injured skin to ease the stinging sensation that caused the pain.

She pulled your shirt off to wrap your arm that was, as you suspected, bruised. But she worried there was more so she finished up with your arm to further her inspection.

She then did a quick inspection for any other wounds on your body but was both happy and relieved to find none. She didn't bother putting your shirt back on, yet.

"All done." Her warm hands rested in your neck and jaw making you smile and hold her hands. You stared at her in silence until something inside you called out a familiar name.

"Wait a minute..." Realisation struck you as your finally recognised her outfit. "Diana?" You looked at her squinting trying to focus entirely on her.

"You're Wonder Woman?" You asked and she stayed silent sighing softly.

"I didn't want you to find out like this but I came here immediately after the fight. Kal said you kept asking for me and I got worried and the armour slipped my mind-" You gave her lips a sloppy misplaced kiss but still it made her stop. "It's okay." You chuckled leaning forward resting your forehead against hers feeling the cold metal against your skin.

"You're not mad?" Diana wondered knowing how much you despised secrets. "No, a lot kind of makes sense now." You chukled to yourself seeing the now painfully obvious signs.

"I'm dating Wonder Woman." You gave a lazy smile making the other woman giggle. "I won the game." You grinned off into the distance making her smile wider.

"I'm not gonna lie Diana, I'm very attracted by the fact that you're Wonder Woman and embarassed that I've fangirled about you to your face." You said honestly only getting a passionate kiss in return.

"I'm not gonna lie either, I liked it." Diana whispered in your ear making you blush even more.

[hughungrybear]

****Late to the party because I managed to fail my driver's licence test, so I'm going to cheer myself up and binge-watch the series on my list 😔****

Me watching Only Friends Ep. 8:

1. Based on the preview, this episode's title (Save Me) seems very apt to what is about to happen.

2. Cheum looked like she swallowed a lemon, but I guess her concerns are nothing compared to what is Sand's feeling as Mew and Ray grind drunk on the dance floor 😔. After all, the shittiest feeling is knowing exactly what is causing your heartache, but are powerless to do anything about it - except walking away that is.

3. Ray admitting he is so "damn happy" when he is with Sand, but still thinking that Mew is the one he loves is so frustrating. I want to reach out and shake this baby boy hard to see some sense. 😤😤😤

4. Wait, why are Yo and Plug fighting??? I thought they were already lovers? <after five seconds> Oh. Oh. Yo, if you are not ready for a relationship, then you should have never started at all. I'm with Plug on this one. 😔 Sidenote: P'Jenny's silent tears in this scene is heartbreaking. 😭😭😭

5. It looks like Mew will be losing everything he worked hard for if he doesn't stop his downward spiral. Although, I'm not sure if Top is the one who can save him. Truthfully, I just want these boys to be able to save themselves.

6. Okay, so at least it looks like Top's intentions are good. Unless he is lying to Cheum (about not caring if Mew comes back to him or not, as long as they save him), I guess there's a glimmer of hope for this character.

7. Gosh, Papang is simply everywhere. Does not matter whether it's BL, comedy, thriller, or your garden-variety lakorn. Papang must be the most tired actor in GMMTV for 2023 😂

8. It sure looks like Nick was summoned, not only for his tech skills, but also to become his senior's next boyfie 😅

9. "If licking your a** can get me this job, I will do it". ~ Nick

Oh. My. Gawd. I do think Papang's character will literally take you up on that offer, Nick. 🫣🫣🫣

10. Oh, at last, Title is here. I have been wondering about his role for this series.

11. Ngl. I just want to slap both Mew and Ray. It is pretty obvious how they are forcing themselves to look like they are having fun with each other's company. My head hurts just by looking at these kids.

12. Oh, Nick. Listen to Sand. STOP MOVING IN CIRCLES!!! BOSTON AIN'T WORTH IT. 😑😑😑

13. Ray, make up your damn mind. Either you love Mew or you want Sand. Pick an effing lane. Good for Sand for shutting that sh*t down.

14. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Atom (Title) and Cheum are siblings??? And Atom is interested in Boston? And if Boston take Atom up on his offer? What then??? Wtf will happen?

15. Sand still worrying about Ray despite everything is just depressingly sad.

Still not convinced that leopards (Top) can truly changed their spots. Looks like Sand will not be able to stay away from Ray. And Boston literally screwing Cheum's lil bro will definitely not go well. Gods, now I'm even more depressed after watching this episode lol. 😅

[midwinterwings]

Divinemadnesscore (and a small vent. Tw suicide and sh mentions)

Accepting my divinity has always been the hardest for me, as opposed to discovering myself. Having been trained to deal with 'problems' or things that cause 'bad things' like stress or anxiety by shutting it down, that's what I tried to do.

but, this artwork, a self portrait, aka, what it feels and looks like being me, is a physical way of asserting that I'm done doing that. I'm done hurting myself, biting my own heads to force them down, to try to squeeze myself into a box that never would have fit anyway. My divinity is something (and I had to refrain from saying unfortunately) that impacts my mortal life a lot. The more I try to surpress it the more it gets angrier and pushier, demanding to be seen.

I have to admit, a big reason I've finally realized what I have to do is to simply let me be, is because I realized that if I continued down the path of suppressing something so big, I would kill myself. I remember when a member of the system, Lilian, would be violent and want to kill himself if he fronted, because the rest of us ignored him and tried to murder him, seeing that he was a dark stain, the evidence of our past we hated.

But no one really wants to die. To Lilian, it felt like a triumph. Hurting us, and himself, to show he existed. When we accepted him (which was a hard and painful process on its own, due to his distrust in us. I mean we did try to murder him repeatedly I get it) he saw no need to hurt us. Why would he?

In the same way, the way my mortal self bites and chews at my divinity sends a deep pain through both of us. All we do is bite and hurt ourselves and the pain makes us angrier and hate each other more. But I'm done with this.

Its terrifying, letting myself be. I've glimpsed what I am, and it's horrifying, beautiful, eldritch. But that dosent stop me. It'll be awkward, unlearning all the ways I hurt myself to make sure I stay in my lane. I've lived this life hacking and killing so much of me, mentally, physically and spiritually, I dont know what it feels like to not bleed, to just be, to not run and jump onto the altar, lie down and plunge my blade into my stomach before anyone else has a chance to. I'm done pulling out my own flight feathers before they can be clipped. The ones who used to clip my wings forgot I had those. Seeing they didn't like them, I took it to myself to pull them out. So many times I've done this they've forgotten I grew flight feathers. And I forgot I grew flight feathers, seeing plucking at my sore, bloody wings as a daily chore, no more upsetting than doing the laundry. I set inhibitors on my mind, shut my mouth, so that people I knew could live in ignorance, unchallenged, unaware a small child could read them front to back like a book. Their little secrets, hidden insecurities, I blinded myself, I wouldn't let myself see or look or be anything other than normal. I slowed my thoughts, and split off into my mind, creating realms to busy myself, so that I ran at the normal times, so no one could tell. Instead of blurting out things people didn't like to hear, I swallowed honey so that my tongue was sickly sweet.

no longer. If this ends up a mess I'll face them with all of me, my wings healed. My body is scarred and beaten and crippled, my mind tired and soggy, my soul bleeding, filled with holes and claw marks from my own constant assaults on myself. But even as the flight feathers that grow shall be flimsy, sprouting between scar tissue from years of plucking, they are my feathers, my wings, my goddamn life. It won't be the same - of course it won't. The long, sturdy flight feathers that used to sprout now small, easily broken, flimsy. That's OK. Theyre my flimsy feathers.

[canyouplzjust]

Jane Lane's Falling Rain

In the Grid we sat around the living room of Les's austere apartment firing questions at him, watching him wade through The (data) Stream, while I tried to feel safe after escaping Centerpoint Station following Corvath's ominous words. Echoing in my head was the way he had warned us that we were making waves, and that the Black Skulls were probably on their way to clean up the mess we made. Any by clean up he meant kill anyone we were nice to, and then kill anyone who's body they want to take and play with later. Fuck Max and fuck the Black Skulls, they'll never catch us. I also keep running back the moment of total loss of control I experienced when I took the anti-Dictator gag off of Corvath, and he simply told me to kneel. My knees quivered while I was on my way down. Is this what I've been doing to people this whole time? Jesus H Christ. No wonder they love me. I'm going to tell Hardy to just breathe and maybe he'll finally get the respite he needs.

We learned a lot in the Stream, and Les was projecting a portion of the results into the room, so while I knew we weren't seeing everything he was seeing, it was still really cool to have the holograms illustrating everything we were learning. Very sci-fi, and Les looked like a pro doing it. He gave a final call, "Anything else," he asked before closing down the display. "Can you search for my sister," I blurted out, and a random request returned quite an unexpected result. "It looks like you have a club here, named after you and your sister, its called Jane Lane's Falling Raine," Les showed us what he found and we all sat around confused for a moment. Well, I was confused about how my sister got here, and I assumed the others were considering that I might have lied to them about being in The Grid before, but I guess those thoughts were fleeting because the next question I got was when I wanted to go check it out. Did I think it could be a trap? I think everything is a trap - that's how I'm still alive. But it wasn't a trap, it was a Pandora's box of emotional and sexual confrontation with a dj and a disco ball.

It is around this time that I should take a moment to explain who Cyph is because I met him and I liked him and I hope he stays around for a while. He's Les's ex-boyfriend who clearly never got over him, but he's also kind of a mooch because he's been staying in Les's empty apartment while we were in, well, while we were gone. It has either been 3-5 years for Cyph, I have been insistent that its best not to nail people down about time frames, but I am apparently the only one who feels that way. Whatever, he's a card and his accent is adorable, and he def knows how to party. He actually said he was gonna mention the club to me, because it was weird that I was there with Les, and seemed different, so I guess we're going to investigate that together. I'm not trying to take Les's inventory, but he seemed awful cagey with Cyph and I can't figure out why. Sure, he's a little shady and he looks like he would only have to make one phone call to get crack if we were in my city, but there's just something I trust about him. He's got the disposition of a puppy but the reflexes of a cat. Seems valuable to me. Also his new bf is both hot and cool, my two favorite things.

So, we got dressed to go to the club, and it was a lot of fun, making our outfits from digital scratch. I could see the character designer Les peeking out through the seams of the Neo, and I was really impressed by what she could do, and how effortless it truly was. Did you know she's like a totally famous game developer back on Earth? I don't really play video games, but I'm in nerd-culture enough to have heard about them, and have seen her name once or twice. Certainly a more glamorous life than mine has been for the last 15 years, I can tell you that. Well, I stepped into the glam of a neon red dress (it actually glowed), and I talked Didi out of wearing dread-falls and Rory looked like an actual angel. (pic below)

On our way to the club, in the Johnny Cab, we were buzzing with excitement. We rolled up and I led the line of adventurers with a stride, to the door under a big hologram of myself, flickering between positions like a neon sign. The man at the door looked confused to see me, but I barked at him and he moved like a dog. And we were in! The club was bumping, daytime and nighttime don't really exist here, but it felt like midnight and the music was pitch perfect. I don't have to explain that we did a lap and found the VIP room, and waited for this infamous "Jane Lane" to show her face. Well, she didn't. I was invited into a back room, so i left everyone to their own devices, and I asked Didi and Hardy to stay close. The others, well, their own appetites took them off in different directions.

Les scampered off to charm some evil looking high elves pushing Fair Gold around on a small table. I don't know if his plan was to get spit roasted in a semi-public setting, but it sure seemed like it was going that way while they were licking their chops and pulling him onto their laps. Across the dance floor Rory was making out with the goddess of excess (I didn't catch her name), and her ethereal grinding turned the party UP while I was in the green room, pulling out my .45. Rory's expression of romance inspired Cyph to seek the pleasure he truly wanted - and he walked right up and punched one of those chauvinistic, sadistic elves right in their stupid face. Les was won over, it was like that Tiffany song was happening to him, even if it was just for a moment, and Cyph was a hero.

Oh, yeah, so of course it was Raine. Of course it was my sister who never played the game and she looked like a ghoul and she looked like an echo of a person. I told her she had to stop being me, and that she couldn't have my life, and she said that she could take my life if she wanted. She had a crazed look in her eyes and didn't seem whole enough to have any judgement or compassion. I pulled out my gun to get some space between us, but she rushed me and knocked it out of my hand. In the struggle she stabbed me in the ribs, and didn't stop screaming until I told her to calm down. When the crying had died down to a whimper, I asked her how she got there and she told me that I brought her to DIE. She said "You carry me everywhere you go," and I knew that it was true. Raine was distraught about her meaningless existance, so I told her about what she had been doing in the real world. I told her that she had saved my life, that she had never given up hope on me, even when everyone else had, and at the end of my ten year battle with drugs, that she was the one who got me into rehab the final time. She was the one who got me into rehab every time, actually, and hearing the value her life had to me seemed to imbue this Raine with a little bit more fortitude than she previously possessed. Good. I told her I was going to meet my friend Morpheus later and that I'd ask him to help her, that she could feel better and it wasn't always going to be so empty. Then I called out to Didi in the VIP room, Raine knew her, too. She appeared concerned about the wound, but played it cool while we got Raine dressed and got her makeup done. Just like a friday night at home in so many ways. Raine came out with us to the dance floor and then we just had like a normal night at the a club. (with my face on the outside of it) Les, Rory, Hardy, Cyph and Aeon were all there on the floor, and soon we all felt ecstatic within ourselves. It was a moment of actual fun, carefree connection, and the blood was hardly visible on my red dress anyways. I was looking around the room and I caught a vision of Max across the sea of frenetic movement. I wasn't high, it was him. We locked eyes for a few seconds before he dashed off towards the back of the club. I followed him as fast as I could, but there was no one in the darkness under the stairwell, just a solitary pay phone illuminated my the light of my red neon dress. It rang. I grabbed it immediately, begging to hear the sound of Max's voice. It wasn't the Fallen Master, it was real Max. I knew him.

"Max? I'm here for you. I'm coming for you." "...." "How close am I?" "You're close," and he was gone. Click.

I scrambled the others to try to look for him, but he wasn't anywhere. But we were close, I knew that now.

Before we left, Didi and I went upstairs with Raine to put her to bed. I told her she could keep using my face for the club, but that she would feel better if she worked on being her own person. I told her that Morpheus would get in touch with her, and that her club was really awesome, and she had done a great job cultivating it. Then we sent her to bed, shuffled out the front doors, and we all climbed into the Johnny cab to go back uptown. And get breakfast, obviously.

[kay-wren]

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 19

"You ready to go?" Rafe asked Jessie as she walked down the stairs dawning denim shorts and a grey cropped tee. Rafe opted for his usual tailored shorts and light pink shirt.

"Yep!" Jessie replied with enthusiasm.

"After you." Rafe suggested as he opened the door. Jessie was met with... his motorcycle.

"No security today?" Jessie asked.

"Don't need it." Rafe simply answered with a cocky smile. Jessie tried not to think too much into it.

"Just like old times, huh?" Jessie exclaimed as she hopped on the bike like no time had passed.

"Thats the plan." Rafe said. Jessie didn't know what Rafe had in mind today, but it sounded like he planned on taking a trip down memory lane.

Their first stop was the shops on the main strip.

"Whatever you want." Rafe proclaimed as he gestured towards the never ending outdoor mall. This was no typical mall, this was all the stores Jessie could only dream of affording. Any name brand designer she could possibly imagine was at her finger tips.

"This is not my preferred method of payment." Jessie sassed.

"You'll get your payment." Rafe replied as he looked out over all the stores with his hands in his pockets, he clicked his tongue deciding where to go first.

"I'm not going to buy anything, Rafe." Jessie insisted.

***

"I'm not going to buy anything, Rafe." Jessie stated as they shopped the streets of Charlotte. Rafe wanted so badly to spoil Jessie, but she wouldn't hear of it.

"You deserve it, baby." Rafe persisted. "Just look around, see if there's anything you just have to have. I'm sure there's something here."

Rafe and Jessie shopped for hours, stopping to get lunch from a local place and of course ice cream to follow.

Jessie had finally decided to pick up a few things. Nothing crazy, just a few shirts she liked and a new pair of tennis shoes. She probably needed those things more than she wanted those things. Still, she felt cheap. Rafe still insisted.

***

Jessie and Rafe perused the mall for what felt like hours. Jessie never really was much of a shopper, at least not for herself. Once she had her daughter she found every reason to buy things for her. She wanted to give her the world. Jessie found so many things on the strip that she wanted to buy for the little munchkin, but that was out of the question. Rafe had no idea that she had a daughter, and that was how it was going to stay.

"Hey, can you maybe go and grab me a drink real quick?" Jessie asked, having a plan in mind.

"Sure, don't go missing." Rafe joked as he walked out of the clothing store they were in, it just so happened to be one of the only ones that Jessie could afford on her own.

Jessie quickly went to the accessories and grabbed the adorable set of bows she had her eye on since she walked through the door. She could see them swishing in her daughter's hair, making her look and feel like an island girl. She loved the idea, she couldn't wait to see her again.

Jessie quickly went up to the register and bought them. They were discrete enough to fit into one of the bags she already had on her arm, so she stuck them safely under the ball cap she had already bought. With that, she excited the store.

She waited outside on a bench for Rafe to come back. Soon enough she saw him walking towards her with two bottles of water in hand. She gladly took one.

"Thank you." She said as Rafe took a seat next to her.

"Ready to shop some more?" Rafe inquired.

"Ugh, please no. I've had all the shopping I can take. Can we please move on to something different?" Jessie pleaded. Rafe just chuckled and nodded.

"How about we go sight seeing!" Jessie offered with excitement in her tone.

"What, like just drive around?" Rafe asked.

"Yeah, I always..." Jessie trailed off.

"You always what?" Rafe furrowed his brows loking closer at Jessie as they walked towards his bike.

"I always loved doing that with you." Jessie was hesitant to say it, trying not to give too much away and make Rafe think she was actually enjoying this day a lot more than she showed.

Rafe just looked down with a proud smile and nodded. He tried not to show his excitement when she said that, but he was secretly elated. He had her thinking... about them. More importantly about the good times they had.

"You know me personally, I think the good times far outweighed the bad in our relationship." Rafe casually mentioned in their walk.

"I wouldn't disagree." Jessie stated.

"Then why'd you do it? Why'd you leave? I mean sure we had our fights and I know I wasn't the best guy but-"

"Rafe." Jessie sighed. "Can we please just enjoy this day for what it is?" She stopped to look at him, hoping he would get the message. As much as she wanted to pour her heart and soul out to Rafe and explain to him why things went the way they did, she had to stay focused, and this was certainly not the time and place to do it.

Rafe just sighed in defeat as he nodded and looked at the ground. They continued walking.

After a few more hours of driving around, Rafe spotted a wildflower field up in the hills of the Bahamas. He didn't have to ask Jessie, he knew she would love to go up and see them.

***

"Look at all these beautiful flowers, Rafe!" Jessie exclaimed with excitement as they walked along the cobblestone pathway of Charlotte Botanical Gardens. The flowers were so tall they covered their heads... well, Jessie's head. Rafe could still see perfectly fine over the billowing flowers.

Jessie ran her hand gently along the purple wildflowers. As she turned back to look at Rafe she was met with a flower freshly picked for her. Rafe dawned a smile like a kid that picked a fresh flower for his first love. The act was so innocent and yet so intentional.

Rafe placed the flower in Jessie's hair, but not before picking off the long stem and saving it for himself.

"You know, I don't think we're supposed to pick these." Jessie joked. Rafe remained quiet but still smiling contently as he fondled with the stem in his hands.

"Give me your hand." Rafe said politely, never looking up. Jessie was curious but gave in. Rafe then slipped the knotted up flower stem on her left ring finger. Jessie didn't know what to say, she only blushed at the thought of marrying him one day. She pulled her hand away to admire the beautiful new ring, she thought it was as precious as gold.

"Marry me." Rafe said in the same serious yet polite tone. Jessie looked up at him and scoffed.

"Ha, yeah right, okay." She laughed as she looked back at her hand.

"I'm serious." Rafe never faltered. He grabbed her left hand and held it closer to his chest as he looked her in the eyes.

"Will you marry me?" Rafe asked, this time Jessie could tell he meant business.

Jessie's jaw dropped in shock once she realized just how serious he was.

"Wait, are you actually asking me?!" She asked with a childlike grin on her face.

"I mean I'd get on one knee but I didn't think you wanted me to make a spectacle of the whole thing." Rafe joked. He was right, this was the kind of proposal Jessie wanted, something simple and understated that didn't draw a lot of attention. Rafe remembered that from one of their many endless nights of conversations.

Jessie was still speechless, trying to decipher what all this could mean. "When?!" was all she could muster.

"When?" Rafe laughed, holding her hand a little tighter with both of his. "Whenever you want, baby. You set the date."

Jessie had so much running through her head, and yet all her thoughts were taken over by the thundering sound of...

"Yes!" Jessie said as she jumped up and down. She couldn't have imagined something so perfect. "Ugh, I love you." She implored as she wrapped her arms around Rafe's neck and held him tightly.

"I love you too, Jess." Rafe sighed into her. Rafe knew a long time ago he was going to marry Jessie, he was just waiting for the right time. He didn't plan the proposal by any means, but he knew it was the perfect moment. He never regretted it.

"I want to get married here." Jessie said enthusiastically.

"I'm sure that can be arranged. A destination wedding sounds great and-"

"No, I mean like I want to get married right here, in the gardens... right now." Jessie trailed off as she held Rafe's hands in hers with hopeful eyes. Rafe realized what she meant.

"Like today?" Rafe questioned as his eyes grew wide. He wasn't scared at all, just very surprised. Jumping into a decision like this was very out of character for Jessie, still, she nodded frantically in reply with a smile plastered on her face. "Are you sure?" Rafe asked.

"I've never been more sure of anything." Jessie started. "I want to go home and be Mrs. Rafe Cameron and there's nothing anyone can do to stop us!" Jessie exclaimed excitedly as she took Rafe's face in her hands and kissed him. He already loved the sound of that. Mrs. Rafe Cameron.

"But wait... don't you want your family here?" Jessie asked as she backed off her tip toes showing a dejected face, thinking that would be the one hang up. Rafe just shrugged with a twinkle in his eye as he cocked his head with a knowing smile. 

"You've shown me more love since I met you than my whole family has shown me my entire life... you're my family." Rafe answered honestly, oddly not showing any sadness in his voice, only hope for his future as he caressed the side of Jessie's face in his hand, rubbing his thump lovingly across her cheek. She leaned into the action with loving eyes as well. He had his family right here, and a party with just her in attendance was his absolute favorite. "Family doesn't make you apologize for leaving and growing up. You taught me that, Jess." 

Jessie was touched, yet she still wasn't the best with words, only opting for one simple phrase.

"Well let's do it!" Jessie exclaimed as she bounced up to wrap her arms arounf Rafe's neck. Rafe reciprocated with a slight chuckle and wrapping his arms around her waste. The moment was short lived when Jessie realized another snag in the potential plan. 

"But wait... we don't have rings." Jessie realized and slightly chuckled.

Rafe proceeded to come up with a quick solution. "I didn't need a ring to propose to you, we don't technically need rings to marry each other. All we need is someone to marry us and the certificate."

Rafe had a point. With that, Rafe and Jessie quickly left the gardens to go to the courthouse and get the required certificate. Lucky for them, the courthouse provided them with a list of names of people that could marry them on the spot. They didn't think very hard about that, simply calling the first person on the list.

Rafe and Jessie exchanged traditional wedding vows that evening as the sun set over Charlotte Botanical Gardens, the only witness being the minister, and that was just how they wanted it.

***

"These flowers are beautiful" Jessie claimed as she ran her fingers through the wild yellow flowers. Rafe followed behind her watching her glide through the field with the wind blowing in her hair. To him, she was truly a sight to behold.

"You remember the last time I took you to look at flowers." Rafe half-joked, not daring to look at her as he passed his hand along the tops of the flowers.

"Of course I do." Jessie answered with a smile on her face.

Rafe looked down and kicked the dust up with his feet, contemplating what he was going to say next.

"Do you regret it?" Rafe asked seriously. Jessie knew exactly what he was referring to. She could lie in hopes of making him hate her, but she couldn't lie to him, not about something that sacred, something that important.

"No." She simply said as she nodded her head. "Do you?" She inquired.

"Never have." Rafe said seriously with his hands in his pockets, not quite sure what to do with himself. He wanted to kiss her so badly, he felt that was the only way to keep him from doing that.

"Me neither." Jessie agreed as she walked closer to Rafe and looked him in the eyes. She didn't know really what she was searching for, yet she couldn't look away. The two of them sat in a comfortable silence as they stared.

"I never stopped loving you. I still do love you. You know we can do exactly what we did years ago and just forget everyone else and just... be together." Rafe confessed. Maybe this wasn't the right time and place to admit that but he couldn't hold it in any longer. Jessie simply nodded, looked down, and swallowed the lump that was in her throat. She wanted nothing more than to admit the same to him.

"I know you do. And I appreciate that. But Rafe, I can't." Was all Jessie could muster. It physically hurt her to leave the conversation like that, but not as much as it hurt Rafe. He looked off into the distance, feeling clearly defeated. Jessie just simply couldn't mess this up. She was on a mission, one that did not involve letting Rafe potentially wreck the life she worked so hard to create on her own. Rafe swallowed the lump in his throat, and Jessie could tell he was about to break. "Rafe I-"

"It's okay, Jessie, you don't have to say anything else. You don't have to apologize for leaving and growing up." Rafe said through watery eyes and a broken voice, barely able to utter the words. As much as it hurt him to not be able to have Jessie, he loved her enough to let her go, and at the end of the day his time was well spent giving her anything she wanted, even if that meant space the size of a chasm that would surely break his heart day after day until the very end. Once again, he saw Jessie act like his words were no big deal, and yet he had no clue just how much they wrecked her too. She didn't want to grow up without Rafe, but she had to, and she had to keep it that way. Much like she was accustomed to do from a very young age, she had to play it off like it wasn't the most gut wrenching words of her existence in order to keep the peace and her sanity.

"Let's go home." Rafe whispered as he slowly walked away. Jessie wanted to call Rafe back to her, but she knew that wouldn't end well. She opted to just follow behind him. Neither one of them wanted this day to end this way, but maybe there was still time.

[infintasmal]

mun meme

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍!

★  NAME:  Chai ! KC is also acceptable

★  PRONOUNS:  she/they/unbothered

★  BEST EXPERIENCE: Def the relationships I've managed to forge. I've had some partners for years, those that I've become great friends with, with whom I owe much of my development as a creative toward. I've found a sense of community in rp spaces that I otherwise wouldn't have had access to.

★  PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Any DMs are fine, discord or otherwise. I am notably bad at initiating or maintaining conversation, I struggle a lot in social settings even online so I am appreciative of those that have been patient with me. I'm trying to be better about it but I know it can be frustrating.

★  MOST ACTIVE MUSE: Botan on DeathBlossomed is at the forefront rn which is why I've been low activity here. However Ja'far is nearly always active and has remained a steady muse for several years.

★  EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS: I started in middle school (I'm turning 30 next month, so 2007/8) on Gaiaonline, writing real cringy stuff but it sparked a long standing passion. I moved onto tumblr in 2012/3 my freshman year of college. You can do the math bc it makes me feel old

★  RP PET PEEVES:  

I tend to be pretty unbothered by most things, I've been here too long however I'll never like the active policing of other people's blog content that seems to have intensified in the recent years with the 'puriteen' wave. I think people really forgot fandoms roots with the "Don't like, don't read. Dead Dove Do Not Eat." disclaimers and could use a lesson in it. The whole 'proshipper' discourse is just exhausting and I'm simply too old to be bothered, y'know. I don't mean to be like 'you shoulda seen what was going on back in my day *shakes cane*' bc some of it was skeezy for sure and we had our fair share of problems, but I felt like most people were at least staying in their own lane.

I also take issue with people who repeatedly, publicly complain about not having 'any' rp partners or not enough interactions while simultaneously making no effort to reach out to others and show interest in anything beyond their own self satisfaction. It shows that you don't appreciate the current rp partners you have or have had by stating that they're 'not enough' and that you're only looking to satisfy your own needs rather than acting as part of a community. It sucks to feel left out but at some point you've gotta start taking initiative. If we all sat around waiting for someone to come to us, no one would ever communicate.

★   PLOTS OR MEMES: I find that memes are good way to initiate a first interaction, it kinda gives me a sense of who you wanna write with, what kinda things you're interested in, and sets up the relationship nicely. But I do like plotting out threads, but only as an outline or a starter point. Sometimes, we end up plotting a little too specifically and it's like, what's the point of writing it if I already know what's gonna happen, y'know? Like, tell me where I'm going but don't tell me what I'm gonna see along the way. I like to have a solid starting point and then go with the flow from there with discussions being mainly about major plot points.

★  ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: Ahh, I'm sure if you look closely enough you can find some overlapping traits with some of my muses (like dumb & gay LMAO) but I don't think there's any one muse that I would say is really like me. I think I'd be a really boring character to rp as so I'll leave it for memoir writing x3

Tagged by: @quickdeaths (Ty !! I appreciate it ~)

Tagging: I've seen a lot of my dash do this so if you haven't had the chance yet, go for it bbs

[aressida]

Old entry: "You cannot fight the Truth." - Aressida. 15.7.19.

You will keep on telling yourselves to further, in my opinion, by using your disproportionate responses to someone by simply saying a small part of the truth.

Did anyone realize that huge outbursts and reactions of vengeance and revenge are not normal? Can we not lie to ourselves?

You cannot fight the Truth.

Your real power comes from your authenticity, not your projected image. When you are authentic, you are true to yourself and you speak to your own truth. And when you speak your truth, it’s solid and incorruptible, invisible evil entities fear it.

No matter what the moment brings you, you will not escape it, you will face it. Do not worry, the Universe will respond in ways you cannot imagine. If you do your best, you will improve well.

Ego is what you think you are. The self is what you really are. We are the human part of nature.

I have also observed that we mostly push people away in our lives not because we fear the commitment, but because we fear we cannot care enough, we cannot love enough. We fear our own failure.

The soul is the largest conversation we can have with the world today, and life is the biggest story you can conceive of the world. Evolution without death does not occur. Right now War is being putting our Evolution on a fast lane.

If you go down the rabbit hole, make sure you catch the rabbit. Do not stay there. And the Old must die if the New is to live.

Sometimes it is not that you cannot let go.

It is something or someone was the best part of your life. So you do not want to give up this warmth of the past… Right? I’d get that. This is why you are afraid that the rest of your life is going to an eternal never-ending winter without warmth. This is about your fear.

A lot of people hold a warm, special place in our hearts and it is always freaking hard to let go of the familiarity and comfort.

Believe me, I’d know.

It is scary when your mind tries to back you into the comfort zone. But when your heart feels like it is galloping away, you have to follow every time. It is okay that sometimes it is not the person you miss, but actually it is the feeling you had when you were with them.

As you grow older, you realize that some people’s sincere apologies will never lead to changed behaviour, because they do not love themselves, and they cannot change their nature.

Attachments imply permanence, preference, and devotion. But putting attachments to relationships, outcomes, or ideas can prevent growth or disappoint. Since most, if not all things in life are eternally fluid… And it is not set in stone.

Never disrespect yourself to respect others. Never ask people to choose between respecting you and respecting themselves. Attachments are really real. Why not loosen your grip and try and live, to love, appreciate the flow, and the growth that you have climb through life’s many unknowns?

This is basically the gist of it.

Keep track of where you stand and focus on mastery-based learning, and compound yourself. Seriously guys, do not use humour as a weapon, use employ it as a defence. And everyone can master the basics if they only decide to see them.

Do you think it is time to align yourself with the Truth, which inherent in the world right now?

It is time to find the underlying of your first principles. Because the quality of your actions always depends on your understanding of what TRUTH is. And we need to remind ourselves that do the small things excellently and compound them all.

Everything will becomes easier once you realise and accept that you do not have any real place to escape to. All your life, at this very moment, is happening at this moment, and nowhere else.

You are what you see.

[looosey]

Lessons from my first relationship: Setting Boundaries

Saur, when I was a wee child, I was on the competitive swim team in elementary school. I was not very good, in fact my sister was a gifted swimmer so I even knew that I wasn't too good. But the structure was pretty simple: you would show up, change, hop in the pool, and swim your required laps of whatever stroke. So I would swim, and sometimes it would be so physically taxing, so painful for my legs and arms, that in the middle of the laps I would cry. And hot tears would fill my goggles making it hard to see, but I would push through because I simply hadn't finished my required laps. I felt angry and sad directed both at anywhere: the nonchalant coach, the difficult water, my weak self, and at nowhere: nobody really was forcing me to do anything. And then I would finish the laps, practice would end, and I would just go about my day. I never complained to anybody. I didn't really see a problem. And I would show up to practice again later that week.

I thought about this on my walk to campus this afternoon, because I realized! That I am still the same Lucy, fifteen years later. No one is asking me to swim these damn laps but I just do, swimming in my own self pity for no-one else to see but me.

What I mean is! This relationship I'm in? Sometimes, I find it so difficult but I swallow it all up for months on end. For the viewer, she seems fine, swimming in her lane rather averagely if anything. But of course, she is fighting demons and you would know if it weren't for her goggles. The problem is however, that in a relationship, at least the partner should know, right? And here I have been, just swimming.

An hour ago, I learned a chinese word from my friend while walking home from dance today, in regards to the MIT workload. kè kǔ means hardworking, but the chinese characters literally mean to hold bitterness. She said although she was perhaps ignoring some boundaries that needed to be there, she generally valued the ability to push through difficult times. It's close to midnight but my friend has a whole lot of work to do before her midterm tomorrow morning.

kè kǔ

She has it. I know that I have it, and I do it. But I also know that the bitterness is eating me up from the inside. And that a relationship shouldn't feel like an unswimmable amount of laps.

When I let a little bit of the bitterness out, for the purposes of "healthy communication", it feels like black tar oozing out of my heart in controlled amounts, dirtying up the place just enough to let him know that something is wrong but not all that I hold within me: that would kill us. But tar is dirty, and I can't guarantee his response to it all, and I usually just feel just as hurt as before if not more.

I know vulnerability is good, but I felt vulnerable and just vulnerable, and I didn't feel any better afterwards. Just vulnerable.

Saur, what is the lesson here? Well, I want to acknowledge that I have been suffering in this relationship. With some ups and downs but pretty much for a couple months now. Obviously it wasn't always this way, and I had tried my best to not suffer, by communicating my needs pretty early, but they were obviously not met and I compromised for months just in order to get on with my life and because I still like this guy.

LOL I used to just repeat "forgive and forget" like a mantra, but I just forgot the specifics of what had made me really really sad... and otherwise stayed pretty sad LOL.

I also want to stop swimming in self pity. I want to be a student of getting myself out of this situation. Of becoming a person with boundaries! What is not-okay behavior? How can I recognize it and call it out immediately, and before I feel megahurt by it happening? What is an inappropriate amount of burden for me to be carrying in a relationship? And how do I make sure that I never carry this much again?

I want to stop letting bitterness build up within me. This causes cancer. And it's not a good thing to hate your partner so much.

So in general, some how I wish to look back on this part of my relationship, and realize gee I learned a lot about myself so I'm glad it happened. I'm also glad I made my way out of it, and that I learned how to be a confident but caring and nurturing person that knows what to do when your partner cannot be fixed or if the communication needs work and time.

Lupe always says that sometimes the skill is in finishing the task at hand. I tried to continue this relationship with pure grit for the last few months, but now I need to run on some wisdom.

[gynarchyboi]

Ms Lane's Winter holiday

My girlfriend, Heather, and left for Florida right after Christmas. We are in Florida for two months, During winter vacation, Butler pretends to be my handyman and lives in our garage apartment. This allows me to date other men publicly without people commenting on it as unusual. No one in that small coastal city knows that Butler is my love interest......During our winter vacation, he remains in his handyman uniform uniform. While there, we do not socialize with each other. The rare times we are seen together, a discerning eye will notice the different costs of our outfits and will easily identify me a the employer and him as the employee. I love the way my friends there see through him as if he doesn't exist. He says it is the most humiliating thing we have ever done. Consequently, it makes him wild for me......While in Florida, we are very careful with our interaction in public. He addresses me deferentially as "Ms Renee". He is a generation older than me so most people accept him as a bit of loser who can't retire because he has always had low paying jobs. I don't mistreat him but I maintain my posture so our interactions appear as if he were what he looks to be- the help. I try not to be too demanding or bitchy because want my friends there to think I'm polite to even him. I admit it's hard knowing that when I do sharpen my tongue towards him, I can see it drive him into deep sub space......He does not try to fit in. He wears the uniform I chose for him. How I dress him and treat him in public during our winter stay is part of the never ending tension between his independence and his submission. Together, we have declared war on his individual manliness. We attack his independence from every possible angle we can find. His clothes and his yearly two month stint as my servant are simply different fronts in the struggle to bring him to perfect surrender......Heather hated that he hung around the property too much. Before this damn virus I found him a job working for a caterer. I loved seeing him march off to work in his serving outfit of black pants, white shirt, and black vest. He had turned 60, he was a retired and successful attorney. I had made him into a servant. Oh boy, it really turned me on. He worked about 20 hours a week at local weddings and parties. Of course, he handed over his earning to me. Heather and I used his check and tips for day long spa treatments......My best moment with his job came at a New Year's Party I attended. One of my friends had decided on a big bash and purposefully suggested the company for which Butler worked. I remember saying, "My handyman works for them and he swears by them.".....Sometimes the Good Goddess gives you an opportunity. I have learned never to miss them. I made sure to have a date for the party. I carefully maneuvered this unsuspecting man into just the right positions so that when the ball dropped and traditional kisses are exchanged, Butler was standing within arms reach wearing his serving livery holding a tray of champagne glasses. I guess my date thought he was an especially great kisser as I seemed to melt into his arms as we embraced. After kissing me, my date took two glasses from Butler's tray. He barely noticed the older man serving. I could not have arranged it more perfectly if I had choreographed it......Butler later said it was the most humiliating and therefore the most exciting thing had ever done to him.

I have been criticized for not acknowledging him as my love interest in public while on vacation every year. I have been told this charade is dangerous. Of course it is. I could learn to love it and decide to retire in Florida. If I do, his social demotion would become permanent. I could become what I pretend to be. There, I am slightly bitchy upper middle class single woman who dates whom she likes. He fears this but he accepts it. It's easy to see why I love him.

Msreneelane