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the-duke-of-nuts · 2 years

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A Not So Unlucky Night

Alright so a few months ago I used a prompt generator for fic prompts and finally got around to finishing one of them. This is my first actual Moceit oneshot I’ve completed in my WIPs so I hope I did comfort ship the beloved justice (Most likely didn’t but oh well enjoy or don’t I guess)

Prompt: Janus and Patton watching a horror movie. Patton can't sleep that night and Janus comforts him in a cuddle.

Pairing(s): Moceit, Background Dukexiety

Word Count: 1427

Warnings: Small description of horror movie (Nothing major just the word blood and murder mentioned), Remus being Remus, A panicking Patton (Let me know if there’s anything else)

It was movie night in the mindscape and to everyone's luck it was Remus' turn to pick the movie. "Now guys I've created an extra special film for us all to watch tonight~" Remus excitedly summoned a CD and put it in the DVD player. "Oh come on this isn't even fair! I bet you just rigged the chart and it's actually my turn!" Roman complained crossing his arms. "Roman your turn was literally last week. I'd rather watch whatever sick twisted horror movie Remus made instead of rewatching the same 119 Disney movies again." Virgil rolled his eyes. "Wow, that's rich coming from 'Gerard Gay for Duke of Disasters'. I smell an obvious biased." Roman retorted. "Now kiddos let's not argue. I know it's Remus' turn, but I think a light hearted movie would be a great idea for tonight." Patton said trying to ease the tension and hide his nervousness.

Patton was never a fan of horror movies. They always made him uneasy and he never understood why Remus and Virgil loved them so much but he always tried his best to support their interests. Tonight was different. It was a full moon on Friday the 13th and Patton was really not up for anything scary. "See, Patton agrees with me and he's the one who started the whole 'turns chart' in the first place so I say we change the movie!" Roman protested. "Yeah because Daddy has definitely actively said his favorite movie is 'Carrie'. Keep complaining Romano and instead of a horror movie it's gonna be a porno." Remus cackled flopping down on the couch and pressed play on the remote and held Virgil close in his lap. Roman grimace in disgust at the threat and immediately shut up and watched the movie.

Not even 5 minutes into the film there were screams and bloody murder and various disturbing imagery popping up on the screen. Patton watched horrified by it all and was too traumatized to look away from the screen. His husband on the other hand was watching boredly and unfazed by the film. Janus was used to this kind of stuff and has seen far worse from Remus considering he's hung out with him for so many years. Roman watched shocked and disgusted while his twin cackled holding his smirking emo boyfriend closer. This was only just the beginning. The Prince and the Father Figure were sure in for a ride for what the Duke had in store with his creative abilities.

After what felt like an eternity, the movie soon later finally came to an end and everyone said their goodnights and went to bed. Patton however had no plans on going to sleep tonight. The poor man was still slightly shaking in fear as he got in the covers and laid down next to his beloved. "Goodnight Darling." Janus yawned getting comfortable. "G-Goodnight Jan." Patton replied hoping the tired side didn't sense his fear. And just like that Janus turned off the lamp and went to sleep. Patton silently took a deep breath in and out to try to calm his nerves.

It's okay Patton it's just a movie nothing is going to get you you're okay. Just think happy thoughts and all the things that you love. Puppies... Kittens... Rainbows... Janus...

Patton slowly started drifting off to sleep and closed his eyes and finally had a moment of peace. That peace was short lived until various gruesome scenes from the movie started popping up and he immediately opened them back up again shaking and breathing heavily. His heart beated faster as he looked around the room and the shadows on the wall made the situation even worse. The faint screams in his head became louder and louder and he gripped the blankets tighter around him and squeezed his eyes shut hoping it all would just end.

Patton...

Stop!

Patton...

Go away!

"Patton!"

Patton jumped and opened his eyes again when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He quickly turned around and saw that the lamp was back on and a concerned look on his husband's face. "Oh h-hey Jan I'm sorry I woke you up dear. Go back to bed everything's fine." Patton said feeling bad for waking up the half serpentine side. "Patton I literally felt you shaking and heard you mumbling to yourself." The deceitful side gave him a look. "Janny I promise you I'm okay I was just really cold. Please go back to bed." Patton pleaded really wanting the interrogation to end and for Janus to just go back to sleep and forget about anything happening. In truth the moral side didn't want to be seen as a coward for being scared of something as little as a movie in front of the man he loved. He knew Janus loved him but Patton just couldn't bear the embarrassing thought of Jan making fun of him for something so ridiculous. Janus sensed the obvious lie and noticed Patton's eagerness of wanting him to go back to sleep. He stared at him a little longer and started realizing the problem. "This is about the movie... Isn't it?"

Patton hesitated and sighed, shamefully nodding his head. "Come here." Janus pulled Patton closer to him and had him lay on top of his chest. He started running his gloved fingers through Morality's hair and rubbed his back to help soothe him. Patton leaned in the touch and slowly started to relax. "Now Darling would you mind telling me honestly about everything that's been bothering you tonight and why you were so eager to not tell me?" Janus asked still comforting him. He knew the exact answer to his own question but he wanted to hear Patton say it. He knew the man still had a problem with bottling up his emotions and Janus made it his goal to help him break out of that. He needed the Froggy side to be more open and honest with not just Thomas and everyone else, but with himself as an emotional side. Patton sighed knowing there was no point in lying when Janus can easily see right through him.

Just rip the bandaid off Patton...

"Everything about the movie scared me to the point where I can't sleep. I know the movie's fake but I still found it scary and..." Patton trailed off. "And?" Janus waited patiently for him to finish. "A-And I didn't wanna tell you because I was also afraid that you would make fun of me and see me as a coward for being scared of something so stupid and childish..." Patton admitted looking away ashamed. Janus froze and looked at him surprised. He knew there was something Patton was hiding from him but he didn't expect that. "Patton look at me." Janus lifted Patton's chin up to make him look him in the eyes. "You will never and I mean ever be seen as a coward to me no matter how stupid or childish you may think your fear is. I didn't marry you to freely make fun of you, I married you because I love you. Your feelings matter just as much as all of ours and you even telling me all of this is a brave thing in itself. Hell, even you just tolerating Remus' nonsense and sitting through the whole film without walking away shows that you are brave."

Tears of joy started running down Patton's face. Janus always had a way with words whenever they were alone together. He never liked showing that side of himself infront of the others but with Patton it was the only truths he loved saying. Janus smiled and wiped Patton's tears away. "It's okay to feel sad, happy, scared, angry, or feel nothing at all. You matter." He gave Patton a soft kiss on the lips and Patton happily reciprocated. They slowly pulled away and rested their foreheads on each other. "Thank you." Patton sniffled hugging him tightly. "You're welcome." Janus held him closer.

Patton then started to yawn.

"Finally sleepy?"

"Mmhm" He sleepily nuzzled Jan's chest. Janus smiled and kissed the top of his head. "Get some rest because we have a long day of self-care and gaming tomorrow." Patton giggled. "Okay. Night Jan." "Goodnight Patton." The half serpentine side turned off the lamp and instantly fell back asleep holding the cat onesied man in his arms. Patton smiled finally falling asleep peacefully only hearing the sound of Janus' heartbeat and loving his warmth. Who knew an unlucky day would be Patton's second luckiest night.

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kuroyurishion · 4 years

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Symbiosis AU Part 1

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairing(s): Platonic DRLAMP

Chapter Summary: Thomas finds an intruder broke into his house. Neither he nor his Sides are happy about it.

Warnings: Cursing, Spiders, Guns, Breaking into someone’s house, violence and other weaponry, Blood

Additional Note(s): Thank you to the amazing @thesearcher1092 for making the awesome TikTok that inspired my brain to write this up. It was a long time coming, but it’s finally here! I know I said I wanted to make one fanfic about it, but my brain was like “why not make a whole AU about it”. So, enjoy!

Ready? Let’s Begin.

Chapter 1: Intruder Alert

Thomas was trying to have a relaxing day off. After weeks of work, he finally has three days to himself, and he was determined to make the best of them. He was rewatching The Office on his couch when he felt a sinking feeling in his gut. He tried to ignore it, but it kept getting worse. Groaning, he pressed pause on his computer.

“Virgil?” he called out carefully. His anxious side had a tendency to lash out, so Thomas had to tread carefully. Virgil showed up in his usual place by the stairs, hood drawn and arms crossed gripping his sleeves. His eyeshadow seemed darker than usual.

“Yeah?” Virgil asked. Thomas raised an eyebrow.

“You alright there buddy?” he asked.

“...Yes? No? I don’t know! Virgil exclaimed, gripping his arms tighter. “I woke up this morning feeling off. Something’s bugging me, and I don’t know what it is.”

There was a sound, and the two looked over to see Logan in his usual place. The logical side adjusted his glasses before greeting his Host.

“Salutations Thomas, Virgil.” Logan greeted. “Perhaps I may offer an explanation and a solution to your current problem.”

Virgil looked a bit relieved. “Sure, Teach. I’m all ears.” he said, still gripping his sleeves.

Logan nodded and turned to Thomas. “What Virgil is experiencing is a feeling of restlessness, as his fight or flight mode is being activated.” he explained. His Host looked confused.

“Why would his fight or flight mode be activated? It’s my day off. I’m literally doing nothing.” Thomas questioned, gesturing to the blanket and computer on the couch. Logan cleared his throat and fixed his glasses.

“Well, there’s a good explanation for that.” Logan said. “These past couple weeks have been stressful for you, haven’t they?”

“Yes?”

“Constantly in and out of the house, going to work, keeping up with a healthy social life, planning new videos?”

“Oh yeah, definitely. My stress levels were so high.”

“I was working overtime.” Virgil piped up.

Logan nodded at him before continuing. “Because of all these activities going on for a long period of time, your body has already been conditioned to have the fight or flight response on, as Virgil has been making sure you’re on your toes at all times.” Logan explained. “Now you want to relax, but the sudden shift from high stress to the mundane causes Virgil,” He paused to look at said side, “to be confused, as he is your anxiety. There’s too much adrenaline in your body, and has no place to go. Thus, the feeling of restlessness.”

Virgil nodded. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” he said. “So your solution to this?” he asked, gesturing to his body.

Logan flashed him a quick smirk. “I’m glad you asked.” he said. “Exercise has been suggested to help with feelings of restlessness, so I suggest going out and taking a walk in the park, because there is no way I’m going to let Thomas watch The Office for the nth time.” The two Sides ignored their Host’s noise of protest.

“I guess a walk in the park wouldn’t hurt.” Thomas mused. “I have been wanting to have a healthier lifestyle.”

Virgil sighed, knowing that this was a better option than by watching The Office again. “Sure, why not.” he agreed reluctantly. He really didn’t want to go outside, but the extra adrenaline had to go somewhere.

Thomas gave a little cheer as he left to go get ready, and both Virgil and Logan returned to the Mindscape. In a rare occurrence, all the other Sides were there waiting for them. Patton looked especially excited.

“We heard everything!” the Moral Side exclaimed, eyes wide. He was holding a large picnic basket. Beside him, Roman carried a large rainbow blanket. “It’s a nice day outside, so why don’t we have a picnic while we’re at it?” he suggested.

Logan wondered when Patton had the time to make food for a picnic in such a short notice. As he asked, Virgil turned to look at Janus and Remus, who were looking at him amused.

“What?” he asked defensively. They got rid of the labels a long time ago after a long series of talks that may or may not have included some crying, hugs, and a massive sleepover at the end of the day.

“It’s so like you to agree to not go outside.” Janus answered. Virgil shrugged in response, fidgeting slightly. Remus raised an eyebrow.

“Got ants in your pants, emo? I can make it happen literally if you want?” he crowed, wiggling his fingers. Virgil shot him a disgusted look and Janus sighed over Remus’ cackle.

“It’s not that I want to go outside.” Virgil responded. He had yet to let go of his sleeves. “This feeling I have. I think it’s more than restlessness.” He didn’t know what would happen, but he could sense the danger in the air. Virgil bit his lip when Thomas walked out the door, reminding him to lock it, and checked that he locked it at least three times. Hopefully, his feelings would go away so he would be proven wrong.

***

When Thomas was asleep after their nice day at the park, his Sides were huddled together in the Mindscape’s living room. It was close to 1:00 in the morning, and there was a tense silence between them as they sat in each other’s presence.

“Don’t tell me you're still feeling restless, Dark and Stormy!” Roman exclaimed tiredly. Virgil groaned. The restless feeling didn’t go away.

“I don’t know why I can’t calm down!” he responded, frantic. “We went to the park, we got the adrenaline out, so why can’t I,” Virgil suddenly went rigid, “calm down.” he finished. There it was again. There was danger nearby. Something dangerous was coming closer.

“What’s not wrong this time?” Janus asked cautiously. Virgil didn’t answer as his mismatched eyes, his right one purple and his left one green, glowed and narrowed. No one spoke or moved as they watched their Anxious Side concentrate. The tension was thick as the others wondered what was going on. Then, the sound of the wiggling door knob echoed throughout the Mindscape. Someone was trying to break into Thomas’ apartment.

The Sides wasted no time. Virgil activated the fight or flight response, jolting Thomas awake. The Host growled angrily, but stopped when Janus waved his hand and silenced his voice.

“Do try not to be quiet.” he hissed. “There’s someone in your house.” Suddenly the door downstairs was thrown open. “Slowly now, hide in your closet.” Thomas nodded frantically and obeyed.

Once Thomas was safely in his closet, the Sides crept downstairs to observe. They saw a large shadowy figure walking throughout the first floor. It was opening the cabinets and drawers as if it was looking for something. They heard the figure talking to someone.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” the voice growled. It was male, deep, and dark. There was another muffled voice. An accomplice perhaps? Were they talking over an earpiece? “A Manifestor lives in this shabby place? Doubt it.” the man scoffed.

The Sides returned to the Mindscape in anger. How dare someone break into their Hosts’ house! But no one was feeling as angry as Virgil, who grit his teeth in anger. He was the one who had to protect Thomas from things like this! If only he was more careful…

“We need a plan.” Logan said, snapping Virgil out of his musings. The Logical Side had a glare on his face as he looked at everyone. “Clearly this intruder is looking for something of Thomas’.”

“He called Thomas ‘Manifestor.’” Patton whimpered. “What does that mean?” No one wanted to admit it, but they had a strong feeling they knew what the man was talking about. And they didn’t like it. They wanted answers, and they wanted them now.

Virgil smirked. “I have a plan.” he purred. The Sides shivered at the sight of their Anxious Side. His smile was all teeth and dangerous, fangs out and dripping with venom. “A beautiful, bloody, plan.”

***

Thomas grunted in pain as he was forcefully tied to the chair. He was found out, dragged from his hiding place, kicking and screaming all the way.

“Who are you? What do you want from me?” he growled. The man didn’t grace him with an answer. Instead he took out what looked like a recorder and pressed a button.

“This is recording #1678. My name is Dr. Sawyer. Now, please tell me your name?” the man said.

Thomas growled. Dr. Sawyer continued with disinterest.

“Subject is highly aggressive. Will proceed with caution.” he said and continued to ask questions. Thomas answered every single with one with a growl or a curse. Finally, after hours, the doctor became impatient. “Listen kid,” he sighed, “you’re in a dangerous situation. Follow my orders and answer my questions, or else.”

Thomas’s eyes narrowed in anger. “Or else what?” he asked slowly. The doctor raised an eyebrow, as if to question whether or not Thomas was stupid enough to talk back.

“Or else I’ll have to resort to extreme measures for your answers.” the doctor responded stoically. “Don’t mess with me.” He turned around, presumably to retrieve a weapon or something to force his captive to answer.

Thomas glowered at him. He felt a strange tingling sensation, comfortable and familiar, and smirked. “No.” Thomas whispered, eyes harsh. “You don’t want to mess with me.”

Then suddenly, the world went dark. Dr. Sawyer jumped back in surprise and looked around wildly. He couldn’t see anything, just the cold black, like an abyss. “Who’s there? What’s going on?” Dr. Sawyer called out into the darkness. His voice echoed. He saw his subject standing there in the distance, arms crossed and his back turned. Dr. Sawyer approached him.

“Excuse me?” he called loudly. He reached his hand out to grab his subject’s attention, but fell on his back with a loud thud when he felt a shock run through his body. Dr. Sawyer screamed in pain and clutched his hand. Looking up, he went to get up and yell at his subject, but paused.

He was held at sword point, the tip pointed close to his throat, by his subject. Or was it? The figure wore a white regal outfit with a red sash. Its eyes glowed a bright, angry red. “Get up.” it demanded. Dr. Sawyer slowly complied.

“I demand to know what is going on!” he shouted. The figure didn’t grace the doctor with an answer. Rather it disappeared, along with his subject, right before his eyes. The black floor was engulfed in a dark mist. Dr. Sawyer tried to catch up to it, but found he couldn’t walk. He struggled to move his legs when he felt something grip on them. Looking down, he saw green tentacles curling up his legs. He screamed as the tentacles pulled him through the floor. He fell for a couple minutes as he struggled to grip onto something until he collided with the floor again.

He got up again, groaning. He heard the footsteps first, and then the green tentacles came back and wrapped around his body, lifting him up from the ground upside down, leaving only his head visible. Dr. Sawyer gasped in shock when he saw another figure, this one dressed in black with a green sash and holding a morning start threateningly, smiling creepily at him, eyes glowing a toxic green.

“Welcome, Fucker!” the green figure greeted with a slight bow. He raised the morning star. “Now please don’t move!” With that the green figure swung, and kept on swinging. Dr. Sawyer felt blow after blow from the morning star. He can feel the blood pouring out his head and the shortness of his breath. He could feel his lip break open and his bones crack from the hits and from the tight squeezes of the tentacles. The green figure cackled with glee as it continued hitting the doctor.

At last, the green figure stopped. The green tentacles let go of the doctor, and he fell to the ground unceremoniously. He heard the snap of fingers and felt his bones set themselves, but his bleeding didn’t stop. He lay there, eyes closed and gasping for breath.

Moments later, he stood up. Opening his eyes, he saw a blurry figure dressed in dark blue with glowing dark blue eyes hidden behind glasses. The figure nodded in greeting. “Salutations.” it said. Dr. Sawyer snarled and swiped at the figure. It sighed, as if it expected him to do that. “I apologize in advance.” the figure stated and with a snap of its fingers, held a gun in front of the doctor. The doctor heard a click and the figure said, “Run.” He did just that, turning sharply on his heel and running far away from the dark blue figure just as he heard the loud bang of the gun. He ran with short pants, eyes blown wide, looking back to see if the dark blue figure was following. He couldn’t see it, but he could still hear the loud shots.

What he saw so far was absolute madness. Unfortunately, he didn’t look where he was going, and became… stuck? Dr. Sawyer found himself unable to remove himself from the sticky substance. With wide eyes, he noticed that he was trapped in a spider’s web. An unpleasant shiver shot down his back. He could feel the web shake. Something big was coming closer, and closer. Dr. Sawyer couldn’t help but feel fear.

“How nice of you to drop by.” a low voice said. Dr. Sawyer couldn’t look up, but from his line of vision, he could see a deep, dark purple spider leg close to his face. Then, he could hear a faint hissing sound. He could feel something crawling on him, and the sensations sent unpleasant shivers down his spine. What was... ? And then it clicked. Spiders. Hundreds of spiders were crawling on him. He struggled to move, to kick the spiders away, but he couldn’t. The spiders crawled and crawled, covering his body. They moved to his face, their legs covering his eyes. Dr. Sawyer could feel his heart leap out of his chest, his vision blurring, his breathing ragged as he felt spiders crawl down his face and into his mouth. And he screamed.

When Dr. Sawyer woke up, he was no longer in the spider web or in the dark room. Instead, he could see all white, and he was strapped to a chair. In front of him were two more figures. One was wearing yellow and black, the other wore light blue and gray. The yellow figure spoke first.

“Good night.” the yellow figure said.

“Did you learn your lesson?” the light blue figure asked kindly. Dr. Sawyer groaned in agony.

“Who did not send you here?” the yellow figure asked harshly. Dr. Sawyer didn’t answer, too angry and too confused at his situation. Instead, he spat in the figures’ direction, causing them to recoil slightly.

“How kind.” the yellow figure spat back. His eyes glowed a poisonous yellow. The light blue figure looked at the doctor disappointedly.

“I’m so sorry for this.” it said solemnly, and their forms began to morph, growing taller in size. They morphed into a large green frog with muscular arms and legs and a large yellow snake, large fangs poised and ready to strike. They loomed over their captive, who was shaking despite his exhaustion. In front of them were the rest of the figures. The red and green figures had their weapons out -was that his blood on the morning star?- pointed at him threateningly. The dark blue figure held its gun steadily. There was a purple figure standing there, too, with its eight dark purple spider legs coming out of its back. And protected by all of them, was his subject.

“I told you.” his subject said with tired yet proud eyes. “I told you not to mess with me.”

The large yellow snake hissed, grabbing the attention on Dr. Sawyer. The doctor looked into the snake’s glowing, yellow eyes, swirling with flashes of purple and green, and slowly, lost sensation in his entire body. He slumped forward in his chair, and closed his eyes.

To Be Continued

Taglist:

@bluebandedagate

(Anybody else? Just let me know :D)

#sanders sides #roman sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #tw blood #tw violence #tw guns #tw spiders #tw cursing #tw home invasion #symbiosis au #platonic dlampr

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yuujishoodie · 4 years

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In the Clouds

I have come out of a three year writing hiatus because I rewatched Teen Titans and now have Feelings. This Robstar one shot takes place after the titans return from Tokyo, and I just have a lot of emotions and thoughts on how little time these kids have to process things. While this is not my first fanfic, it is my first time writing a Robstar fanfic. My knowledge is based solely off the cartoon and I hope I captured Robin’s voice well enough. Please enjoy!

Robin already knew where to look. A warm California breeze greeted him and ruffled his cape as he pushed the door open to the Titan Tower roof. The sun was setting, casting the sky in purple pink hues and reflecting off the water.

“Hey Star,” he said, walking over to the edge of the tower to join his…girlfriend? He was unsure still. At least, he knew what he wanted, wished for, secretly spent years dreaming about, and felt sheepish about while reigning in wondering thoughts in the training room during combat practice. Regardless, he offered his best friend a lopsided grin as he took his rightful place next to her.

“Robin!” Starfire responded, returning his smile. “We are quite lucky to have such great friends to through a surprise celebration in honor of our victory in Tokyo.”

The Teen Titans East and titans closer located to Jump City surprised them alright. Confetti, an assortment of pizza and tacos, and plenty of questions and requests for detailed accounts of the fight against Daizo welcomed the Teen Titans home. After making his rounds and fighting Speedy for the last slice of pizza, Robin left Best Boy and Cyborg correcting each other’s play by play of their victory against Daizo to Bumblebee and Jinx while Raven showed her new books to Aqualad.

“I’d still like to know how they dismantled our alarm system…” Robin pondered for a moment, before saying, “I’d bet my R Cycle on Mas y Menos.”

Starfire giggled in agreement. Robin fought the urge to tell one of Beast Boy’s knock knock jokes Star enjoyed so much just to hear her laugh again. “Do you think it is rude for us to sneak away from the festivities? I would hate to be a – what is the phrase – happiness murderer?”

“I think you mean kill joy,” Robin grinned again. “And they’ll understand, between all of us almost becoming the Brain’s frozen trophies and solving an ancient urban legend in Tokyo, they know we’ve been booked up.”

Starfire sighed. “That is quite true, and although I am joyous to see our titan friends, I think I am most looking forward to the nap.”

Robin silently agreed, yet he had so much work to do, starting with updating and vamping up some new communicators to prevent another sabotage, catching up with Bumblebee about crime while they had been gone, he also wanted to check in with his team about the future of the Teen Titans and –

“Please Robin, do tell me what is on your mind,” Starfire asked, placing a hand on his arm. Robin often wondered why he even bothered to wear a mask around her. Rays from the sunset brought out the soft orange glow of her skin, and her thick hair framed her face and fell into her cosmic eyes as she titled her head sideways in curiosity. She looked soft in this moment, like the tuffs of clouds dotting the horizon before them. Robin took a deep breath.

“I keep playing back how I almost jeopardized us and our team by giving that communicator to Madame Rouge. There were so many ways we could have been defeated, so many things that could have gone wrong…”

“But Beast Boy and the others rose to the challenge,” Starfire finished, gently squeezing his arm. “Because our friends are capable, and we are always training under the most wondrous leadership.”

Robin felt his face flush and used this other hand, the one untouched by Starfire, to dig a finger into his collar and loosen the neckline a bit. Despite consistently being in life threatening situations with Starfire, he still felt shy at times when she gave him attention or praise. Robin wasn’t used to compliments being so freely given, let alone how to properly respond to one coming from a person you admired.

Robin cleared his throat. “I am proud of them, for sure…but leading a team of five is different than collaborating with and tracking a global network of teenage superheroes.”

“I do share your concern,” Starfire frowned. Now it was Robin’s turn to tilt his head in confusion.

Starfire read his mind. “I realize that is not my typical response, or as Raven calls it, my ‘rainbows and sunshine’ attitude.” Starfire was silent for a beat. “When my home planet was invaded, I did not have the luxury to say goodbye or grieve for the loss of my family.” Robin felt a familiar sense of grief wash over him and he clenched his fist. He knew what she meant. Starfire continued, “But once I found you, Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg, my sadness was not so overwhelming. I hate to think of what would have happened had the Brain succeeded in his efforts to destroy us.”

The weight of his miscalculation of Madame Rouge rested heavy on his chest, except when the team had other priorities in Tokyo. Now that the team was “safe” again, the pressure was building in his mind and body. He slowly intertwined his fingers with Starfire’s.

“Do you want to visit Tamaran more? We can make it happen,” Robin offered. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the least he could do for now.

“Oh Robin. Your comfort is most appreciated, but I know where I belong now.” Starfire smiled and spoke with conviction. “And I am needed more here.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Robin said before he could stop himself, immediately feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. God, he felt like a dork. But it was worth it, because Starfire beamed at his response. He felt a surge of confidence looking into her eyes.

“There’s something else on my mind,” Robin started, moving his other hand to hold hers. “I wanted to talk about us.”

Starfire seemed taken aback at Robin’s shift in character. He knew it wasn’t his typical awkward, Boy Blunder response to the topic of them and how he felt. Which is why it was so important for him to tell her now before he lost his courage.

“Another thing I haven’t stopped thinking about is what I did and said to you on the billboard back in Tokyo –“

Starfire jumped in, “I know you feel badly, I’m ok Robin.”

“No, I need to tell you,” Robin persisted. “I came to Jump City looking to set out on my own, and then I became the leader of Teen Titans, of people my age. Friends. It wasn’t what I was expecting, and I wasn’t expecting you.”

It was Starfire’s turn to blush, and he adverted his eyes to star intently at their clasped hands. “We help people. We save lives. But I never want you to feel second place. I never want you to doubt my feelings for you again.”

Well, that was one weight lifted off his chest. He slowly peered up at Starfire, only to be met with a gaze so intense he thought he might fall off the tower.

“I think now is where we do the lip contact again,” she said, already breathless. She didn’t have to ask him twice. Robin’s heart fluttered in euphoria when his lips met hers. This was definitely not covered in any training sessions, but he knew practice made perfect. He traced her bottom lip with his tongue and gently placed his hand on the nape of her neck, his fingers inevitably tangling with her hair. She matched his pace and intensity as his head began to spin faster and faster. Starfire’s fingers spread against his chest before tugging the front of his uniform closer, turning her head to deepen the kiss.

Robin felt a lot of emotions in the past few months, but this…this made him giddy. Restless, young. He was swept into Starfire’s orbit the day he met her, giving into her gravitational pull. Eventually, and much to Robin’s dismay, they pulled away and rested their foreheads together.

“I like doing this for more than language learning comprehension,” Starfire said, slightly out of breath, beaming even brighter than before.

Elated yet still dazed, Robin mustered a weak, “Same.”

She giggled again and pulled away but still kept her hand in his.

“Robin, I do not know much of your Before Teen Titans life, but if there is one person who can handle the titans, I know it is you.”

Robin pulled her closer again. “Only if we do it together.”

Starfire leaned into his side and placed her head on his shoulder. In this moment, Robin felt weightless.

#robstar #robin #starfire #robin x starfire #teen titans #fanfic #fanfiction #myfic #my favorite idea is that robin knows starfire can throw him across the room but still wants to be gentle with her #also this might get updated we'll see #i love them so much #teen titans fanfiction

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shirtlesssammy · 5 years

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14x19: Jack in the Box

Then:

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Now:

We open to Mary’s wake at the bunker. Hunters from all over have gathered to say goodbye. Dean gives his eulogy, and I want to briefly pause and really absorb it. He now sees Mary as a hunter, someone who’s tough and brave --and who can’t cook. She’s real to him and her loss isn’t just a symbolic loss of a hypothetical childhood anymore. Also, while Cas is still possibly dead to Dean, he’s standing up there with his brothers saying goodbye to his mother-in-law Mary.

Just as they toast Mary, a hatchet comes flying in and kills one of the hunters. Bobby’s back, and he just killed a wraith, because Cas couldn’t detect it I guess. *scrambles to find all the wraith talk from earlier this season* (also bless Jim Beaver for putting up a poll on who we liked better: OG or New Bobby. There’s nothing wrong with New Bobby, but he’s not Bobby.) Anyway, Bobby and Sam talk. Bobby asks about “the other one.” Sam says he “seems to be doing ok.” Lololol. Sam wants to break open some Scotch and keep talking about Mary. Dean deflects -he’s all talked out. Sam, Bobby, and Cas reconvene in the kitchen and start to talk about Jack. Dean wanders in and Cas goes through the face journeys of face journeys before asking if he needs anything (*crying noise, crying noise*). Dean needs a drink, and to get out of the bunker. (Spoiler alert: He does not, indeed, need a drink.)

Sam and Bobby continue to talk about Jack. “There’s only one way this ends,” Bobby insists. Cas, YOU BLESSED ANGEL, agrees. They have to find and help Jack. Lol, Bobby is under a different impression.

Jack, meanwhile, is still grappling with what he did to Mary. He’s sitting in an alley against a blue wall --much like he was when he was first navigating the world, wondering if he was worth all the effort. He prays to his mom (and on a rewatch, I do think he’s talking to Kelly here. Sam invoked Kelly in the other scene and Jack has always looked to his mother’s good nature to guide him), but Lucifer shows up.

He pushes against Jack’s better angels, but Jack thinks he can still talk to the WInchesters, and make them understand what happened was an accident.

Cut to THE second MOST HEARTBREAKING MOMENT OF THE EPISODE. Dean is alone, out in the woods, with only his car to keep him company, crying his eyes out. He’s not drowning his sorrows in booze, he’s not falling back on any vice to cope. Sure he’s hiding from Sam and Cas, but he’s full on grieving for his mom here. He’s letting himself feel these emotions. He’s also blaming himself and hating himself for failing her again, I’m sure --and good lord, I need to wrap him in a blanket right now.

*Jarring scene change alert*

Cas is now in heaven. Ok. He meets with Dumah and is looking for Naomi. She’s locked up because The Empty invaded Heaven under her watch. (Um, this entity is bigger than Heaven...locking up one of your few remaining angels because she happened to be in charge at the time seems really stupid.)

Back at the bunker, Dean’s back. Sam wants to talk about Mary -where she is. Dean is not willing to talk about it.

Jack is visited by Dumah (sidenote: How did she find him? Where did she come from? Why can’t I just handwave this bullshit away like I’m supposed to?) Dumah tells Jack what he wants to hear. They head to an atheist author to tell him to renounce his heretical ways and when he doesn’t, Jack turns him into a pillar of salt. No, Jack bby!!

Cas is back at the bunker letting Sam and Dean know that heaven is helping with Jack. Cas, you poor trusting fool. Sam tells the others about the now pillar of salt professor. There were other deaths too.

Jack and Dumah are now in heaven because Jack can totally be in heaven while not dead now. Jack starts listening to people praying to God. Jack then flaps in to visit a prayer group. He asks if they want to go to heaven. YUP! He’s here to make their dreams come true.

At a hospital, male modeling Team Free Will stride through the hallways, Sam’s hair blowing romantically in the---

Uh.

Sorry. Got distracted.

They’re here to check out the pastor who was attacked by worms. We are relieved to see him alive, ya’ll. Still super grossed out, but relieved. The pastor tells them that Jack took the prayer group to Heaven to become angels. While Cas heads off to Heaven to get to the bottom of this, Dean and Sam head back to the bunker. Dean’s hatched a plan to stop Jack. It’s hugs!

Er, actually, it’s the ma’lak box. Sam’s dubious, but Dean is absolutely certain: the only way to stop Jack is to trap him in the archangel-warded box. Dean proposes that Jack only has to stay in the box long enough to “finish the spell to fix his soul.” Which is, he admits, pure fiction. Dean assigns Sam the task of lying to Jack because he’s “always been in his corner.” It hurtses Sam...it hurtses me… Sam reluctantly agrees.

At the heavenly portal playground, Cas talks to an angel huddled around a burn barrel. Aramael informs Cas that Heaven is closed...to Cas. BURN. Cas shifts into his fighting stance. This can only end poorly.

Upstairs, Jack zaps blue light into each of the human’s eyes, to Dumah’s delight. Aramael arrives - NOT dead, only for Cas to toss him aside. Surprise, peeps! Dumah is NOT AMUSED.

Jack is super proud of his work. Oooooh honey. (Cue Death drolly saying, “I don’t see an angel, I see a mutated human.”) Cas asks to talk to Dumah with his smitey face on. I’m expecting a polite, measured conversation, followed by an exchange of pleasantries.

At the bunker, Sam continues to struggle with Dean’s plan. He worries that it will fail and, fidgeting, he prays to Jack. He appeals to Jack’s notion of family: “Sometimes bad things happen but we’re your family” and together they can “get through this.” Dean watches Sam, his battle mask on.

Upstairs, Cas accuses Dumah of using Jack. She doesn’t deny it.

Dumah insists that she’s saving the world through her use of Jack. Cas insists that Jack is a child and needs guidance now that he’s without a soul. Dumah threatens Cas with the fate of Mary and John Winchester if he doesn’t let Jack stay in Heaven. While Dumah gloats, thinking she finally has him with that threat, Cas stabs her. She erupts in light and...well...don’t fuck with Cas. You’d think angels would learn that by now? I guess Aramael did. Good job, Aramael.

Sam tells Jack that his mother would want Jack to flap down and speak with the Winchesters. Honey, baby, you KNOW that’s not true if she knew what you were up to. Still, the invocation of Jack’s mother is what convinces Jack in the end. He flies to the bunker.

Jack tells the Winchesters that he was “so glad” to hear from them and that he missed them. He reports on his Heaven-led activities like a kid delivering a book report. Dean and Sam, clearly freaked out, approach slowly. Jack brings up Mary’s death and none of his agonizing from the last episode and a half appear now. Faced with the Winchesters, he calmly tells them about Mary’s death. Though he’s still filled with confusion, and doesn’t remember exactly what happened. “I guess I snapped,” he concludes.

Hatred and pain blooms on Dean’s face. If there was ever any doubt in his mind, it’s gone now. MAN, Jensen Ackles, you are K I L L I N G me. I’m so sad for Dean, but I am also chilled by that look on his face. I mean, if looks could kill, right? I admit that I’m less sad about Jack, and more worried for the state of Dean and the TFW family, here.

Dean tells Jack they forgive him. Sam grimaces and does a truly terrible job acting his part. Oh, Sammy.

Still, Jack buys it. I mean, WWWD? Locking themselves in torture boxes for the greater good totally checks out. (Although they lock him in with no actual intention of helping him get better so…….that does deviate from the standard “family” M.O.) They lead him to the ma’lak box and close him inside.

I would like to take this moment to state that I got claustrophobic driving down a tight parking garage ramp this week so watching Jack get closed up in this box is NOT COOL for me. I should not be recapping this before bed.

They lock him in and leave the room. Jack calls for them and pulls out his phone to look around in a scene terribly reminiscent of Dean’s nightmares. The Winchesters stand outside the door and listen to Jack calling for them. They don’t answer.

Instead, they go have a drink in the kitchen.

Sam confesses that he’s not sure he can lock Jack in the box for an eternity. Dean comments on the liquor. I die a little inside. Dean, bby!

While Jack starts to freak out in the box (JACK I WAS ALREADY THERE LIKE 3 MINUTES AGO UGH), Lucifer chats him up. Lucifer tells Jack what the Winchesters were up to, solidifying Jack’s loyalty to him. Lucifer tells him to break out of the box.

Cas arrives at the bunker and tells Sam and Dean that Jack was being manipulated by Heaven. They need to find Jack and tell him not to trust the other angels. Er…….Sam reveals that Jack’s at the bunker. In the box. Cas is horrified.

Cue Jack, breaking out of the box with his powers. The bunker rattles. The box glows. When they arrive at the room it’s too late. Jack emerges, eyes aglow. Because, you know, it was built to contain an archangel. Not a nephilim.

Wherps.

Surely it will be hugs and rainbows for the season finale. Only good things happen in cemeteries on this show. I’ll bring the snuggly teddy bears and chocolate fountain!

Ask Not for Whom the Quotes Toll, They Toll for Thee:

A hunter’s burial memorial complete with monster. Mary would have appreciated that.

So he lost his capacity for good through an act of goodness?

Heaven never really had any mercy, Castiel.

Long shots are kind of our thing.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn spoilers #spn recap #spn 14x19 #jack in the box #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #jack kline #lucifer #dumah #bobby #supernatural season 14

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pixelpolaroid · 6 years

Text

Let’s talk about Steven Universe

I’ve never done on of these blog review things before, but I really wanna talk about the most recent Steven bomb. I thought about doing it throughout the week, but this gives me more time to rewatch the episodes and get proper thoughts out. I’m deciding that I’ll go through each episode one by one and make some notes. Hope you enjoy and feel free to add your own thoughts. I’d love to get other opinions on this.

This is your last warning. SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT!!!!!

S05 E19 Now we’re only falling apart

After Steven tells Garnet and Amethyst, Pearl says that it was Pink diamond’s last order to not tell. She specifically said Pink, not Rose. I think that that’s very telling, it’s obvious from a lot of the last few episodes that Pink wasn’t a huge fan of being a diamond, probably because she wasn’t treated as one.

A small detail that I really like and I’m sure a lot of people have pointed out is that before Garnet unfuses, there’s a tear under her left eye; Sapphire's eye.

I like the fact that Sapphire says she never looked into Rose. Sapphire was clearly a very well respected gem, having 3 Ruby guards when visiting Earth. She probably would’ve been more suspicious on her own. But not after Rose was the first person to be okay with her as Garnet.

Pearl was given to Pink diamond. She wasn’t made for Pink, she was given. Interesting choice of words. That, along with her gem placement just makes me believe that our Pearl was specifically made for White, but then given to Pink.

Something that I don’t think anyone has pointed out yet, when Pink and Pearl go down to watch the Amethysts on the orb thing (whatever it’s called) the murals aren’t there yet. I wonder if they were made after Pink was shattered.

“We’re creating life from nothing,” So this shows that until she went down to explore Earth, Pink legit thought that she wasn’t hurting anything through her colonization.

I thought the Amethysts looked weird until I realized their wearing pink instead of blue, like from the last time we saw them.

Nice gemsona Pearl.

8XM! They were gonna wait for Amethyst!

Pearl is obviously enthusiastic about the many resources for making gems, just like Peridot. SO Pearl wasn’t like Pink, she didn’t see the Earth the way Pink did, even after they explored. The only reason she joined the crystal gems was because she was following orders. AND THAT IS ALL!

Damn Pearl, is one thirsty gem. Immediately trying to fuse after finding out it’s possible. I would’ve loved to see the first Rainbow Quartz fusion, but I think it’s fitting that they didn’t. They probably weren’t expecting that to happen, mutually panicked and then started to unfuse.

Pearl so quick to saying that she needs to be replaced is interesting. After all the work from the revolution, she still thinks that. Maybe because it’s already happened before?

Pearl talking about how Pink was selfish and probably wrong, and then that little detail where she’s about to stop herself. Very nice! It’s always the little details that you gotta appreciate.

Overall Episode Review:

This one does give a little more about Pink and why she did the things she did, but still never justifies her action completely. Even Pearl dissagrees with her, which says a lot. The biggest issue I have that came out of this episode. Lemme break it down:

Pink starts to complain to the other diamond that she doesn’t want to finish the colony, saying she wants to preserve live on Earth. Then Rose Quartz shows up out of no where telling Pink to stop the colony, to preserve life on Earth. Neither of them thought it a little too coincidental??? Really? Diamond, surprisingly not the sharpest gems on homeworld.

S05 E20 What’s your Problem

Okay first issue. Both Sapphire and Ruby left. Sapphire left crying saying how her relationship was a lie, irrational, and crying. Ruby took the time to write a note and said she needs time to think. Then they all freak out cause they think its the end of Garnet? Bitch if Sapphire can see the flawed logic in her action when she’s trying to be angry, Ruby will be back. I don’t need to know it’s a kid show to know that.

Why would she be cowboy? Love it

Garnet is Pearl’s OTP

You’re saying Ruby is pretty literal? Steven all gems are pretty literal! Besdies Amethyst, most gems don’t seem to understand sarcasm or when something is just a phrase.

Steven and Amethyst are both doing the very well known tool of “Worrying way more about the needs of others and ignoring their own,” I think a lot of people can probably relate to this, and I’m really glad Rebecca Sugar put this in.

Kiki is literally the cutest person ever. I want her as a best friend.

Amethyst and Steven are literally the best pairing. This is why their fusion works so well. They understand each other in ways that other gems and human can’t. I love Smokey Quartz because of this fact. Amethyst is slowly becoming my favorite character.

Finally!! Someone said it! I’m so glad that they’re finally making it clear that no one is responsible for what Rose did. She was rash and selfish and Amethyst was like the quickest to accept that, but what she didn’t accept was they had to deal with her mess.

I think I made my finally overall review in that last comment. Onto the next one!

S05 E21 The Question

So Greg is basically the love doctor at this point, and it’s very obvious. I love him so much. The fact that he’s so chill with Rose being Pink is amazing. He loved Rose, not Pink.

Ruby is literally a college freshmen on their first day of being on their own. She wants to experience things for her own in order to figure out what she wants. It’s great seeing Greg be so supportive, I think he probably sees a lot of himself in her. He wanted to do his own thing and make music, so he did even though not everyone thought he should.

Ruby Rider is such a good song. It’s so fitting, but also just has good lyrics.

This episode shows the difference between being alone and feeling lonely really well. Being alone means that you don’t have anyone around, while being lonely is that empty feeling when you don’t have anyone close.

S05 E22 Made of Honor

This episode is probably my favorite in this Steven bomb.

The fact that Steven is breaking gender roles by planning a wedding his entire life is the best thing next to a gay wedding in a children’s TV show. Love it!

I’m really glad that they brought Peri back in advance instead of having her show up at the wedding because then it feels like she’s been there longer. I still think it’s funny that all while they were talking about Pink and Garnet unfused and all that, she was just hiding out in the bathroom.

Ok I saw a lot of things coming for this Steven bomb, but I was legit shocked when Steven went to bring back Bismuth! Which I love btw. She says, “I just tried to shatter you,’ Which, for her, yeah that just happened. But it’s been months for everyone else.

Seeing Bismuth’s legit shock and confusion after seeing a friend corrupted is so genuine. She’s lost for words, completely frozen with fear and denial. By the time she does snap out of it, it’s because her life is endanger, but she’s crying. Full of regret and sadness.She can’t even watch as she fights and eventually puffs her, its really quite sad. I think a lot of us missed that in the excitement of seeing Bismuth again.

I’m fine. *sticks head in lava* *screams* OH MY GOD!! So relateble Bismuth.

Bismuth jokes about how absurd she must have sounded to Rose, but here’s something that I really wish would’ve happened. Imagine what Bismuth said to Steven, that she would’ve taken the fight to homeworld, shattering the Diamonds. It would be nice to think that Pink would’ve not only been worried about herself, but the other diamonds as well. However, considering that she didn’t consider how they, and her armies would’ve felt after she herself was shattered, it’s probably very unlikely that she’d be worried about them. It is taking all of my willpower not to rant about Pink Diamond but I’ll save that for another day.

Garnet is Bismuth’s OTP

Ok another little detail I love. Ruby lights the grill then is like “look bae! I did a thing!” Ruby is literally about to get married to this gem but is still trying to impress her with how hot she is. That’s so precious!

Steven, buddy. I love you, but do you really not see the problem Bismuth has with just showing up like this? Even I thought it was a horrible idea to bring her at first. However I do appreciate this scene because it further shows that he is JUST A KID!!!

Small detail, when Steven calls the gems around, why is Peri about to pour soda on the grill? Honey, what do you think that will do?

I honestly would’ve loved to see Peri and Bismuth’s first interaction. I think it would’ve been pretty funny.

S05 E23 The Reunion

Firstly the Song: Steven’s opening song is the definition of ignore your problems until they go away. Actually though I think the song is really beautiful. I love Pearl in her Mr. Greg suit, especially with the hat. Peridot’s always been the one to worry, doing calculations and determining the problems and possible bad outcomes, so the fact that we first see her in this episode thinking about what Lapis said is extremely fitting. Her little spring dress makes her look so cute too.

5750 years and 8 months. That is a long hecking time together. It’s also a long time since the revolution, which I always thought was only like 2000 years ago.

“By the power invested in me and by the state of Delmarva,” nice one Sugar. Nice

I really love Garnet’ wedding outfit. It’s super cool looking.

Ok Ok Ok, shit gets real. The battle with Blue Diamond is just super cool. I’m really glad that it was it’s own entire episode because the diamonds are a big deal. Seeing them actually holding pretty strongly against everyone is pretty impressive and really shows that they’re the leaders for a reason.

So Garnet steps up to the plate, and while she doesn’t actually do much more than distract Blue, this scene really shows so much. First off, I’m just now noticing that Garnet didn’t unfuse when Alexandrite did, which is pretty awesome. Her power walk to Blue is super cool and so is the music. I know everyone has already praised Garnet for how strong her relationship is, but this just shows it so well. All the others are struggling to stand, but Garnet knows that she has to do this right now so Lapis can (literally) get the drop of her. Awesome moments.

Lapis drops the barn on Blue like how I drop ansty stories on my followers ;)

So Lapis and Peridot didn’t hug. Which is fitting for their characters and their relationship. they’re not the huggy, touchy kind of friends, they’re the watch TV until we see the sun and make stupid art together friends. Them hugging would’ve been awkward and forced.

Ok back to Blue Diamond. It’s impressive that they knocked her down, but Lapis literlly chucked them all right at her and she just stood there and took it like a champ! I’m still not over how freaking powerful these gems are! God I really wish we could’ve seen her fight Alexandrite.

Lapis having trouble against Yellow, yeah sorry. Water/Flying is 4x weak to Electric. All she had to do was rub her feet on the carpet then poke you.

Amethyst’s main thought just being “don’t die, don’t die, don’t die,” such a mood.

Okay I know it’s pretty bad that Peridot and Lapis got poofed but I really hope that at least Peri reforms with a star. I need a new form change, that’ll be awesome!

Ok hearing their thoughts followed by their auras getting stronger and pushing steven back shows a lot about them psychologically. Yellow blames herself for Pink’s shattering, she always has. Yes she’s upset, but her way of projecting that lose is harsher, more sturdy, like lightning. While Blue just misses her and thinks about how she could still see her again. Her aura is much more smooth, effecting people emotionally, just like how she is more emotional. Yellow emotes with action more than emotions. Their responses match their attack styles which I find so cool.

Overall Episode Review:

What I love about this episode is that you think it’s gonna be about Ruby and Sapphire getting a back together. But they aren’t having a reunion, they’re having a wedding. The reunion is Homeworld with Earth; the Diamond authority with the Crystal gems; Blue and Yellow with Pink. The fact that they had to feel Pink before actually seeing her feels similar to how we’ve seen gems in the past. Gems are very literally, but the most extreme actions happen when they’re extremely emotional. Pink became Rose because the Diamonds wouldn’t listen to her, and she got angry. Garnet stayed Garnet because they were in live. Bismuth attacked Rose because she wouldn’t listen, and later attacked Steven because she felt betrayed. Gems have very strong feelings.

Hopes and predictions for the next Steven bomb:

Well as a lot of people want, I really hope we finally get to see White Diamond, like she seems like an important character but we haven’t even heard mention of her. We’ve seen her hand and that’s it. Also I want the off colors to show up, the new Lars and the twins back on Earth would be sweet!

As far as plot wise, I think that Yellow and Blue are going to want Steven to come back to Homeworld with them. I know they’re not going to be okay with the crystal gems just staying there, so I’m super interested to see what becomes of that.

Well that took a lot longer than I thought. If you made it this far, good job. And comment “Topaz” so I know you did (It’s my birth stone). A little Easter egg for the go getters. I’d like to do more of these types of things. Maybe about more specific characters or something. I don’t know. This was a lot of fun and like I said if you have any other thoughts or something you’d like to add/ discus

I’ll end it here since this has been going on for a while

-Pixel

#steven universe #crystal gems #garnet #amethyst #pearl #ruby #sapphire #peridot #lapis lazuli #yellow diamond #blue diamond #connie #pixel talks #review

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inevitably-johnlocked · 6 years

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Hey Lovely! I was wondering how you first became a part of the fandom? When did you start watching the show, at what point did you feel John and Sherlock might be(come) a thing, what made you start a blog on these two? I just want to know it all ^^ Hope you don't mind sharing a bit :) Thank you for everything you do for this fandom, love you lots!

Hi Lovely!

Oh gosh, what a nice question! I think I’ve talked about this in snippets in various posts, this post being the one talking the most about it, but never as a whole! Apologies if this turns into a long ramble, hah hah!

So I remember exactly when I got into the show SO CLEARLY. It was July of 2013, just a few months before S3 was to air in January 2014. I was over at my friends’ place, and they suggested the show to watch, since we always watch movies together whenever I visit. I remember asking, “Is that the show with Martin Freeman and that Khan actor from Star Trek 2?”. We finished Season one all in one go, and immediately fell in love with Ben and Martin’s portrayals and their chemistry. And then I had to head back home. I was ANGRY because OMG WHAT HAPPENS NEXT and my friends just laughed.

So as soon as I got home, I downloaded S1 and S2 and watched them ALL the way through. I needed more. So, because I already had a Tumblr and knew it was for fandoms, I decided to see what it had to offer.

Oh boy what did I get into???

So I lurked for a bit, and then I discovered something called “meta”, back when the TRF theories were the prominent meta in the fandom. So while I was getting deep into meta, I started switching my fanart from Ninja Turtles to Sherlock, because I was warming up to Ben’s ethereal face and I wanted to draw it. And I wanted to be a Sherlock fanartist. I briefly shipped Sher1011ie for a week or so, until I rewatched the series again and it just didn’t jive like it did the first few watch-throughs. I was too invested in John and Sherlock’s friendship – I saw them as bestest friends ever, too devoted to each other.

Now, at this point, y’all need to remember this: I was naïve, have never been exposed at length nor ever heard of subtext, was and am not part of the LGBT community (I grew up in a different time and in a conservative city, so being “gay” just wasn’t a thing), had a very heteronormative view on my life, and I just had always just insisted that in all of my fandoms, when I liked two male characters together, it was because “bestest friends ever!!”. I didn’t know I was ace and I’d never read smut up until 3 years ago (yes hi hello I’m so old and so innocent LOL).

Okay, so I was just lurking for a bit, learning my way around fandom, reading meta and just generally dipping my toes quietly into the fandom.

Then came Season 3.

As many of my followers know, a lot of my fondness for season 3 stems from this being the season that LITERALLY opened my eyes to EVERYTHING: subtext, Johnlock, my own sexuality, and my meta-writing career.

So, season 3 aired and I decided to dip my toes into “reviewing” the episodes as my first “meta”. They were posted onto my multi-fandom blog here, here and here. I was so proud of them, because it reinvigorated my love for writing (I used to be a pretty prominent Sonic fan-fic author back in the 90′s… I never finished my stories because my interest in the fandom died before I finished them), despite how laughably bad they were, haha. I got a couple compliments on them, but nothing beyond that, especially since I sat down and wrote them for HOURS after each episode aired.

Sometime between TSo3 and HLV, I discovered loudest-subtext-in-television (aka LSiT) and deducingbbcsherlock completely by accident and I was FASCINATED. I ate up everything they wrote. The first time I watched TSo3, something was niggling at my brain but I couldn’t quite place it. It was one of LSiT’s meta that twigged at it. That’s when I learned about subtext, heteronormativity and the queer community. And suddenly, just like that, something in my brain clicked.

Oh. My god. This show is gay, and I actually SHIP these idiots like I did in the Mother Ship (ie. The X-Files Mulder / Scully). That’s why I was SO ANNOYED with Irene. Why Molly was slowly grating on me. Why Mary’s introduction kind of annoyed me but okay I guess I can deal with it. Why everything seemed really romantic but it just couldn’t be, could it?

I rewatched the series. And it was gay. Y’all, those rainbow-coloured glasses were suddenly GLUED to my head, and I saw gay EVERYWHERE.

So, after HLV, I discovered The Johnlock Conspiracy and I was eating up all the meta about Johnlock I could. Around this time, I also was learning a lot about the LGBT community, its history and sexual fluidity from wsswatson. It was also around this time I discovered asexuality, and I started reading a lot about it.

In February of 2014, I started this blog because I wanted a place to reblog Johnlock meta. This was the first post I made on this blog, and looking back at it now, I am DYING because wow I never imagined I was going to be this deep into the fandom the day I wrote that. I don’t even remember writing it, to be very honest. I just shake my head, HAH. I think I really started understanding Johnlock because of this post here. It’s still one of my favourites and is one of the ones I credit for helping me understand what I was watching was actually a romance, not a “crime show”.

Anyway, after learning how to read subtext from mostly LSiT (they wrote a meta about how to read subtext and it was super informative) and other Johnlock bloggers, I wanted to try my hand at my own little Johnlock meta. It was more of an observational post, as my way of trying to interact with the fandom. I am a terribly nervous and shy person, so I never tagged anyone in anything. It was an overwhelming fandom, and it was terrifying to interact. A few bigger bloggers noticed me and were nice enough to comment on a couple of my posts, but I mostly stayed in my little corner, and interacted with my small little group of other smaller fans. I dabbled in both fanart and writing, just plopping my thoughts and art into the aether, hoping something would interest someone enough to start a discussion.

I started getting braver, and I was “moderating” some of my favourite posts that weren’t mine, but had my additions to it. Mostly, the Phones and Hearts post. I didn’t want to impede, but it was one of my favourite posts, so I went and copied all of the comments in the notes and put them onto one post. I don’t honestly remember HOW I ended up moderating it, but I just did because I was FASCINATED with symbolism, and I was excited because I could finally read subtext and understand it. I still had a small following, and a few people I regularly interacted with on my blog.

So, during the hiatus between S3 and TAB, somewhere along the way I suddenly had a sexuality crisis, when I suddenly realized I wasn’t broken and there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, and damn it, there’s such thing as split attraction model and asexuality?? Mind was BLOWN. I was also slowly becoming obsessed with Mary’s character, and at the time I couldn’t understand why (inevitably, it was because of events happening in my own life and me trying to understand them), but I really enjoyed just psychoanalyzing her. It’s something I’ve ALWAYS loved doing – character studies; I’ve done it in EVERY fandom I’ve been in – and I was doing it for her, Sherlock and John’s characters.

So yeah, nothing much really happened to me during the S3 hiatus, except my entire world view flipped on its head and I was completely Johnlocked beyond repair. I became known for some painful posts and some lovely revelations and writing a lot of character study posts on both John and Sherlock. I’m very proud of some of my earlier meta, just sad they never really got seen (some of my earliest meta can be seen on my Ao3).

Then came the announcement for TAB in 2015, and the start of my “Tumblr Career”. I put a lot of my energy into my fandom life. I was OBSESSED with TAB, and became known for it. I put my moderation skills to use and created the TAB Starter Pack, which started gaining me some followers because OMG some loser is taking the time out of their day to compile all the news about this new series! AWESOME. I remember, it was around this time I was excited because I got to 1895 followers and it was one of those milestones all Johnlockers like having, hahah.

In October of 2015, I lost my job and was unemployed. Conveniently, this is also the time when the promo season for TAB started, because we now had a name and airdate. I devoted a LOT of my time, when I wasn’t job hunting, to working on this blog. I was just writing a lot, and obsessing about the upcoming episode.

Then the trailer aired.

And immediately after that trailer dropped on October 24, 2015, I made this post here, which, some would probably say, was the beginning of everything for me. As I was writing that post, with a cracking headache, something clicked in my head, and several hours later, I had written and posted the original Mind Palace Theories of TAB at 2AM-ish, and went to bed.

When I woke up, my post had suddenly gone viral and I couldn’t figure out why. Then it just kept expanding from there, and I made sure to include everything I could onto it, because WOW something I wrote was gaining traction, and interaction, and I just wanted us all to have a good time with it. And as the time for TAB drew closer, suddenly I was gaining followers, and more people interested in what I had to write. I welcomed everyone to continue to predict the outcome with me.

January 1st. Was a complete and total mind fuck. I was liveblogging the episode, and inadvertently created another viral post with my Mycroft’s Death post because FUCK ARE THEY KILLING MYCROFT OFF?? kind of freaked people out (sorry loves!), which gained me some more followers, and at the time, my top post was my December 31st reblog of my Mind Palace Theories post, so anyone who came to my blog, it would have been on the first page of it.

After the episode aired, suddenly, EVERYONE had questions for me, about EVERYTHING, but mostly to scream at me that I was a mind reader, LOL. No, I’m not, I was just a sad, unemployed twat with too much time on my hands and was avoiding job hunting. But good god, all DAY on Jan 1, I was replying to asks, gaining followers like crazy, and pretty much just stating my opinion on anything that someone wanted to know.

I became known as the unofficial TAB blog, and the one to come to with questions about my interpretation of the episode. I was SO obsessed with TAB, studied every nuance and narrative structure I could. 2016 was “my heyday”, and it was fun. I found my niche, and meta-writing is what I became known for. And until I got a job in April of that year, I was a pretty solid presence in the fandom, if I understand some of what I’ve been told correctly. I still ran my blog as full-time as I could having a full-time job, and still do in some ways, but yeah, 2016 is when I produced a LOT of meta, mostly Mary meta because, as I said above, I was and am obsessed with her character arc. I was learning about myself a lot more by writing meta, and my “original” meta turned into “asks” meta, which was fine by me, because I do like a good prompt to get me going.

Somewhere in there I also somehow became the blog new bloggers came to, which I didn’t and don’t mind at all, because being new in a fandom is scary and I wanted to be a friendly face because I like meeting new people.

Then we got an announcement for S4, and like TAB I also kept track of anything and everything S4-related, so once again I was sort of the “go-to” place for everything S4 because I compiled all the stuff from setlock bloggers and listed them all for easy-access. I kept track of everything promotional, and I reblogged some of my favourite pre-S4 meta here.

Essentially, I LOVE organizing things, and people liked that I LOVED doing it, so that’s sort of how I kept my following when I wasn’t posting as much new meta. I did make a few original meta before S4, and I made a 68 day video countdown to the series which is cringy AF and I’m not linking it (lol you can find it if you look hard enough).

We all know what happened in S4. I took a bit of heat after S4 aired, because I got people’s hopes up. I was discouraged for a bit, but then I started receiving asks that weren’t really asks, but “I need advice” and “I need support”.

And I started answering life questions, and realized people LIKED my responses, liked my little personal anecdotes in each of my replies, and felt comforted by it. So, after S4 aired, I became an eclectic mix of life advice, meta, fics, music and TJLC / tinhatting blog. I have a “no judgement” approach to my blogging, and I think that’s why I’m still gaining a steady dozen or so followers every couple weeks, rather than losing. The only time I took a big hit was the Tumblr Feedpocalypse, where they fucked up the algorithm and I’m not getting nearly as many hits on my posts as I used to, but that could also be because we lost so many people to S4, especially after Jan 1, 2018 when people were hoping for another episode.

I personally don’t think I’m popular, but I suppose I am by Tumblr standards. I dunno, I think we all have that “starry eyed” view of popular bloggers, and I just can’t picture myself as someone anyone would fawn over. I’m just me, and you can take it or leave it.

I think where I’m at now and what I’m known for is a good place to be, to be honest, despite how S4 turned out. I’m not certain, but I FEEL like I have a positive reputation here, but don’t quote me. I know I have people in this fandom who hate me, and quite frankly it saddens me that they feel they need to expel energy on me that way when they deserve to just be happy and forget about me.

ANYWAY, sorry that got long and rambly, but it’s something I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile, but I was waiting for the prompt to come because *shrugs* I dunno, self esteem thing, makes me think no one REALLY cares until someone actually asks, hah.

And if you made it all the way to the end here, Love ya Nonny, and thank you for asking and thank you for being a follower of my blog

#steph replies #about me #fandom life #steph's storytime #fandom history #Anonymous #long post #my blog

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