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#i wish happy whatever holiday pr special day it is
babypetri · 7 months
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I miss sending funny videos to my friends
#you may think petri whats stopping you#not anxiety for once#because i dont get the same effort from them#i feel like they dont care#im not their part of life anymore#while yes i did go silence for weeks but that was because i was overwhelmed and socializing was too much#i barely talked with my family and i forces myself for it i didnt want to worry them#i had trouble sleeping a brain that wont shut up i cried at nights i feel terrible#i told them i had hard time socializing send messages was too much i stop going on the internet even#but i got kinda get better i guess and everything back to normal then oneday they no longer talked#i wished them birtday they say thanks#i wish happy whatever holiday pr special day it is#but they dont text unless i texted first#while i understand all of us are busy but how much time its gonna take for someone to wish their friend happy birthday#just a simple message would be enough#but none came#i put reminders that starting ro remind me their birthday days before just so i can at least wish them happy birthday#wanting a simple “happy birthday petri” message is too much i guess#twice they do the same and im no longer talking yo them#well except the one friend i made at university we talking time to time#and she wishes me happy birthday even if late because her own life is kinda too much going on#she was so sorry that she missed my birthday but that was fine i got one friend that remembers#i would send her but she dont get to same jokes as my older friends#also last time we had english she was not okay with it?#oh great im getting sad again at night again
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msgrumpygills · 3 years
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Social Media Anon Here!
Firstly, never change Grumpy ;) you are probably the only person on Tumblr to LISTEN to another view and let it change a prejudice.
Secondly, the Padagram/Social Media change bus continues. Don't be fooled people will be looking at positive and negative reactions to that change on social media.
So here goes!
1. They are starting to market season 2 of Walker in Hiatus. That really doesn't happen. That means they know they need to target new viewers. They are acknowledging they have a problem. The main problem is Jared either didn't learn enough about production quality on SPN (Jensen/Misha were both more interested in behind the camera's) or that he thought he could stick a Stetson on and we all had such sh1t for brains we'd watch anything. So they need a viewer boost DESPARATELY and are going all out to (a) persuade Walkers remaining viewer(s) that it's worth sticking around and (b) get back old viewers or convert 1m+ viewers to season 2. So now we see all the cast (and Keegan has more followers than Jared and Lindsay has a VERY engaged following) trying to persuade their followers how fabulous Walker is. Expect this scrabbling to continue if they want their COVID paychecks.
2. Connected to 1, Jared has started trying to break out of the fandom bubble. I don't think he's trying for power couple (the clue in a power couple is that two FAMOUS people get together and create a super brand, here we have one niche C famous guy and a hanger on wife), I think we are in Jared profile raising and trying to raise his recognition score, which is probably a little low having half assed it in the last year and a half. He's doing it by scatter-gunning so I'm not sure it's going to stick.
3. Connected to 2,
(i) if I run my algorithm clean laptop with a "Jared Padalecki" news search, I get (a) a daily mail article on Jared "clarifying the rift" (b) a "hello" magazine saying he's been "inundated with support after death of "family member"" (c) the new york times article on Walker and Supernatural. It then goes into a variety of articles about Jared raising money for Holly's family (fucking atrocious in my view to use her death for publicity) and a series of derivative articles on his mantrum and later explanation. ONLY THE NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE MENTIONS WALKER other than as a throw away, all of the others link to Supernatural only. Walker isn't on the main radar of anyone as a show. It's not mainstream enough to mention. it has ZERO buzz.
(ii) if I run the same search on my compromised tablet, I get a SEA of fluff articles "jared padalecki goes to venice", "jared padalecki's wife wishes him a happy birthday" "jared padalecki goes to watch soccer" "jared padalecki goes to the wrestling". I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow.
At the end of that I get the same articles as in (i) but the majority of his publicity is still going through the fandom and the, not very viewed, endless zine type websites that update on every episode of every geek show every day.
So we are seeing, and I expect it to continue, a break out Padalecki, (who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films), and a fluff Padalecki, trying to stay relevant a year after SPN relevance ended, because he hasn't got the same push for season 2 of Walker as he had for season 1 and Walker has zero presence. No one, not even the fans are talking about Walker.
Will it work? I don't think so. Keegan has 7m followers on Insta and that's because he's a photographer and writer and it's interesting. I would follow his account (I don't), but certainly it isn't a Walker instagram.
Jared is a clever guy, but he's boring on social media. He has a limited appeal. He does family snaps, hunk snaps, flogs orange pee and flogs his show. He says "family" and "mantra" a lot but that's really it. The clue is, if you didn't know who he was and came across his instagram you wouldn't follow him. Why would you? For a video of a guy running up steps? A smug picture of two middle aged men trying to flog you something?... (oh and lots of "brother" comments on Keegan's social media, which is irritating. It's like he thinks that is his repeatable formula and it isn't).
His media approach won't work because advertising and exposure pushes a product. In TV's case, it's not a one off product and there is a lot of competition. Product Jared needs to be more interesting (his mantrum's are the only exciting thing about him - and that is tragic) and his TV show just needs to be BETTER, well, a LOT BETTER.
Soooo, expect the Padapush to continue, but it's not about a couple, it's about individual marketing and for Jared breaking out of SPN bubble. For Gen, it's her tag along profile that she'll never break out of. She'll have to be satisfied with her superpower of being able to persuade people to buy toothbrush's and dog food (if she can).
Expect though the couple's bit to die off a little. Jared is getting over exposed. His engagement rating is plummeting (nearly 3% is a plummet) because of the repetitive photo content. He'll have to back off or people will switch off (I have already). What makes me laugh is.... from the dawn of time when cavemen took their wives 2 miles away for a new cave weekend.... NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN INTERESTED IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOLIDAY SNAPS.... Gen and Jared apparently need to learn that lesson...
I might stop these posts now because, well, it's gotta be a bit boring for you and I write LONG. :)
Stay safe and wear your masks ;) xxx
I don’t want you to ever ever change, lovely! Also, I’m NEVER bored by your messages! You put so much effort into the research you do and the messages you send and it’s appreciated! <3 
I started following Lindsey on IG because she seems pretty genuine, and her cat is way too cute! Plus, I like her attitude. I haven’t followed her for the whole Walker season, but even she doesn’t post a lot about it. She posts interviews and then posts about that night’s episode, but other than that, nothing.  Can’t speak for Keegan, but how are fans and non-fans supposed to be excited about a show when the people STARRING in the show can’t be bothered? Maybe they’re all aware of how shitty it is or maybe they’re lazy, but it doesn’t make sense. 
I’m always interested to see the difference in an “algorithm-free” setting and one that has an algorithm. I always figured Google was the same for everyone, but seeing the difference in articles you’ve outlined is insane. It really just goes to show that Jared isn’t the star that his stans think he is. He’s not as important as they think he is, he’s just an actor.  It’s even more jarring to see just how little Walker is talked about at all. All of my devices probably have been “contaminated” when it comes to algorithm so I can’t really speak personally about the public and fans talking about Walker or not talking about it. I can say that on the posts about Walker from the Supernatural Facebook page, a good chunk of the comments are people saying they stopped watching, never got into it, or thought it was trash. There are only a handful of comments talking about how they enjoy the show. 
I think it was disgusting for him to use a fan’s passing for publicity. And no, I don’t think it was anything other than a PR stunt. Her family had a GFM going that was promoted by plenty of the case INCLUDING GEN, so you know he knew about it. But for him to make his own special one and then have articles posted everywhere about how charitable he is? That’s gross PR bullshit and I hope it backfires. 
I still follow a few Supernatural fans, Jared fans, Jensen fans, etc. on Tumblr and even they aren’t mentioning it. I think maybe the hardcore Jared stans post gifsets or whatever, but I don’t see much praise for the show itself, just Jared’s looks. Even the fans aren’t biting and that would make me reevaluate everything if I was Jared. 
I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow. This made me laugh way too hard!
who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films You are on a ROLL!  Maybe I’ve become biased, but I can’t see Jared doing films. I mean, I could see him doing like a side character role or something small, but I can’t see him having a big part of a movie. Like I said, maybe that’s me being biased but I see him staying in TV. I could be proven wrong, but I don’t know. 
I agree about Jared being boring on SM. I used to get some giggles from his Twitter posts and even some of his early IG posts because they were goofy, clever, and candid. It showed his humor and was more personable. Now it’s just all fake and comes off as someone whose only motivation to engage with fans is money and that’s a big turn off. 
For me personally, I think that if instead of the “couple goals” bullshit that they try to push for their lavish trips, if they just posted cool pictures they took of different locations, activities, food or whatever, that would be more palatable than all the “Look at my hubster and I! We’re in Italy! Look at how in love we are!” But maybe that’s because I’ve become a bit of a photography nerd? 
I guess time will tell whether or not Jared will make positive changes and if Walker can be saved, but I’m not really optimistic about it. 
I AM optimistic about your takes on things so keep them coming! Long posts or not, I love them! <3
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footballerimaginess · 4 years
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Fluff Alphabet | Eric Dier
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Eric Dier fluff alphabet! This is my first time doing this, enjoy x  My birthday present to you guys! Please let me know what you think because trust me I have so many more I wish too write for x  Word Count: 1,187  ARMS - His huge arms, constantly wrapped around you. Whenever you felt down Eric was always cuddling you. His huge arms being your comfort blanket and one of the safest places you can be in. 
BABY - Finding out you were pregnant was one of the happiest moments of you and Eric’s life. You were so in love. You were always questioning whether you wanted children. But when you read the test, you were elated. He was obsessed with your baby bump, couldn’t keep his hands off of it.  CUDDLES - His cuddles were just perfect. When you had a long day at work and he was there greeting you with his big arms. The cuddles from behind while in the kitchen and leaning his head on your shoulders. Whatever type of cuddles he was giving you were always the best.  DATE NIGHT - You loved planning date nights, as Eric had so many games as often. You had to set out when you were having date nights. Sometimes you went out to restaurant and sometimes you would change it up. You had fun date nights going out playing golf and having cocktails some evening date nights.  EXCITEMENT - When Eric wasn’t here you just loved having the buzz of whenever he was going to get home. Every day when you saw him always gave you the biggest butterflies and you loved it so much.  FLOWERS - The random flower surprises when you came in from work or when he picked you up from work was always the cutest. Even on the most random of occasions, he would be so cute and bringing you just because he could. It was so sweet of him because receiving flowers for no reason was always the best.  GARDENING - Eric absolutely loved his allotment and sometimes spent more time outside with his vegetables more than he spent with you. But that was his pride and joy, you were so happy with how much he done on it. You loved seeing his little face when he shows you how much he has picked from it. 
HOLIDAY - Going on holiday’s in the summer was always your favourite. There was so many places to go to. Eric would always make it so special because he would plan on where you were going to the finest details.  ICELAND - One of your favourite holiday was going to Iceland and visiting the Northern lights. That was a memory you would always remember because it was just so special. It was something just so incredible to be able to witness.  JIGSAW PUZZLE - While in lockdown, Eric being Eric had so many puzzles for you both to do. He absolutely loved jigsaw puzzles, he was so obsessed with them. He tried to say he wasn’t competitive, but unfortunately he had to make sure that he completed it in a certain time frame.  KISSES - His smothering you in kisses. He hated when you kissed him when you had a lipgloss on which was sticky, he just hated it. He always had lip marks on him when you had been kissing him all over his face. He always moaned, but none the less he never ever refused you kissing him.  LAUGHS - Whenever you were with each other you were constantly laughing. You were always cracking jokes with him. He found himself way funnier than you usually found him. But it’s the thought of the jokes that counted.  MAKEUP - Eric was always fascinated by seeing you do your makeup. “Does that hurt?” he often asked when you curled your eyelashes. “No babe, why would it? Shall I do it to you?” you teased him as you curled his lashes. “Shit, stop it” Eric threw his hands.  NAMES - Baby names list was something you had on your phone for years. You had so many written down, you were shocked at how many you planned. Eric was amazed as to what you were planning on calling your baby. The ones you hated because you went to school with people of that name, you weren’t happy to call them that.  OCTUPOUS (way harder than expected) - The long limbed boy, he was just like an octopus. Always reaching for things, grabbing your waist as often as he wanted or liked in his case.  PROPOSAL - The proposal was so cute, Eric had planned a dinner at the beach. You had no idea what was going on until he got down on one knee. Even then you were still in complete shock that he was even going to propose. The best day of your life.  QUIZZES - In lockdown, Eric made sure that he was the quiz master. Every other day, he would be making quizzes for the boys to all get together. He was obsessed, obviously ultra competitive too.  RAIN - One evening you and him were so bored, all you wanted to do was go and run in the rain. Just to release some energy, that helped massively.  Despite getting absolutely drenched, it was well worth it.  SWIMMING - You hated swimming, Eric was always so good at it. Probably not many things he isn’t good at. But you sat on the side, admiring him. TOTTENHAM - Being able to watch him at games do what he does best is something you loved doing. You absolutely love going to games and supporting him. You were always his biggest fan, always was and always will be. With his shirt on at all times, going to home and away games. Going and travelling round Europe, seeing him making his debut for his country. You were always there with him.  UNDERWEAR - You had treated yourself to a new underwear set, you were admiring yourself in the mirror when Eric came in. “Woah, you look insane” you blushed as you kept looking at yourself. “Thanks, I am obsessed with this set I got” you commented.  VOICE -  His husky voice was something that you loved. His sleepy voice, the one that barely come out when he woke up.  WEDDING - The wedding day and night was the best night of your life, everything you had dreamed off. Seeing Eric getting emotional when you walked down the aisle was a sight to behold. It was so magical, everything about the whole day was amazing. You could happily relive the whole day if you could.  Xxx - The boys would rip him to pieces when he text you because he would either give you no emojis, no kisses or all in between. He would send a thousand to you.  YOU - He put you first at all times, he would be looking out for you whenever he needed. He was your protector and he cared so much. Despite being married, it was all about you.  Zzzz - Sleep was what you both needed, he was always the big spoon. But you secretly you knew he loved being the little spoon. The extra warmth at night was always needed when he was beside you. Despite ignoring how loud he snored most nights. 
TAGLIST: @footballffbarbiex @lawsandother @evie-pr @emwritesfootball @sanchos-dream @meteora-fc @kingkepaff​ @kkim120​ @glam-khal​ @bichotaa​ @eatsleepbreathefutbol​ @footballxixstars​ 
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shutupandshipit · 4 years
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Christmas Preemie - One Shot
Summary: Izuku smoothed a hand over Katsuki belly, smiling as it was kicked at rather viciously. “He’s been moving around a lot, hasn’t he? Wouldn’t it be crazy if he decided to be a Christmas baby.”
Fingers curling in Izuku’s collar, Katsuki brought their noses very, very close. “Don’t even joke about that, shithead. I’m not done baking this loaf yet.”.
....
Or where Izuku makes a joke and forgets to knock on wood.
Pairing: Bakudeku
Rating: T
Check out Coming Home if you haven’t already! It precedes this fic!
Author’s Note: So, I'm sure other places have Christmas Strolls, but I've never seen one outside my hometown. It's literally my favorite part of the entire year, but I haven't gotten to visit it in more than 5 years. I didn't mention the name of the street in the fic, but it is based on the actual Plumas Street and Christmas Stroll that's in my hometown. When you're imagining it, think of what main street for a small town would look like (except we haven't been a small town in many many decades). Also, before anyone mentions it, yes the tortoise from the pat store that's mentioned is an actual thing we saw often. They would tie a balloon to him to keep track or where he went. He was pretty freaking big (medium dog size), and if I remember correctly, he was over 100 years old.
It's Christmas day here in Japan for me, so have another Christmas fic. Anyway, enjoy! Stop by and tell me what your Christmas Stroll/Festival is like! (when there isn't Covid) Blessed Yule! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Whatever you're celebrating, I wish you a happy day!
"Daddy."
The whisper was just soft enough to wake him up, but not loud enough to startle him. Still, Izuku hoped if he pretended not to hear it, it would just end up being a dream. He let his face remain slack, his breathing steady.
A few seconds later before Izuku had even managed to doze off again, the whisper came again, closer this time. “Daddy, wake up.” Weight followed, two small hands pressing into his chest with all their weight.
“Sumi,” Izuku breathed quietly, still refusing to move and believe his daughter had woken him up, “It is very early and Daddy is very tired. Please go back to sleep.”
“But there’s someone outside the door. I can smell them.” The weight disappeared from his chest, but not the edge of the bed.
Groaning, Izuku pushed himself up and peeled his eyes open. Weak blue morning light crawled into the room from beneath the curtains. On the bedside table, blurry red numbers told him that it was only 6:22 AM. Katsuki was still dead asleep beside him, pillow covering his head while his hand lay protectively over his belly.
Sumi bounced anxiously on the edge of the bed, her protheses bare metal all the way down to her toes. She glanced between the door and Izuku. Her wild green locks were wilder than usual from sleep, a brush handle protruding over the top of her head at the back of her hair.
Before Izuku could move to extract it, a knock sounded at the door. Three short, but loud, raps. Both he and Sumi startled, glancing at Katsuki before each other.
With a heavy sigh, Izuku nudged Sumi off the edge of the bed and stood. He was just pulling a shirt over his bare torso when the knocking came again. Louder this time.
Izuku wasn’t someone who normally got agitated easily, but between the early hour and the jetlag, he was less inclined towards solicitude. Jerking open the door, scent flaring out strong and sharp, he growled, “What?” He felt Sumi press against the side of his leg, and glanced down to see her baring her teeth.
The man on the otherside was a burly looking alpha fellow with an overwhelming burning sage scent. Irritation made the scent sharper, less pleasant plant life and more like weed. His arms were crossed over his wide chest, murky brown eyes cut in thin slits. He was taller than Izuku by several inches, but Izuku had no doubts that he could still take the alpha down even without One For All. “Tell your wife to reel in her pheromones. I’ve got three alpha teens in the next room over, and she’s driving them nuts.”
Izuku glanced over his shoulder at the still form of Katsuki before pushing Sumi back into the room and stepping out to square up against the man in front of him. He smiled, sharp and dangerous, channeling every ounce of Katsuki he had stored in his veins. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? My English isn’t that great. I thought I just heard you say it’s my omega’s fault your boys can’t control themselves.” His English was almost as good as his Japanese after four years with Sumi and Katsuki and Shonetta every other day.
The alpha huffed, glaring down his nose at Izuku. “That’s right. You know you can’t bring omegas in heat to hotels in the U.S.”
“Wow! Amazing! You can’t do that in Japan either, and my omega isn’t in heat.”
“Whatever she is, you need to get her to reel in her fucking pheromones. I’m sure we’re not the only family being bothered.”
“I think,” Izuku started sweetly, “maybe, you need to teach your boys some self control. If they get riled up just from smelling an omega, I think the fault lies with their parents and not a family minding their own business in a separate room.” His smile could have cut glass.
The alpha bristled, face going red. “Why you-”
The door opened behind Izuku, and both alpha’s startled as a disgruntled Katsuki stepped up behind Izuku. “What’s going on? Do you know what fucking time it is, asshole?”
Izuku hadn’t heard Katsuki get up, and assumed Sumi had made the decision to get him. His protheses were attached, metal bare to the morning chill. Katsuki was also shorter than the alpha, but his presence was far more intimidating as he glared at him in all his pregnant glory. At eight months, Katsuki was deep into his pregnancy, and deeply over it as well. He had begun to swell at five months and hadn’t stopped.
“I’m just giving this man some parenting advice,” Izuku said, glancing at the other alpha whose face had drained completely of color.
Katsuki shot narrowed eyes at Izuku. “Yeah, sure sounded like it.”
“You’re Dynamight-”
“Yeah, what of it?” Katsuki groused. His eyes turned back to the alpha, looking him up and down with a critical eye.
Katsuki, pregnant and tired, was not someone a lot of people knew how to deal with. They’d set up the trip to visit Shonetta and Cynthia before they’d had the pregnancy confirmed. Izuku had suggested they move it either one way or the other around the birth to provide his mate with more comfort, but the paperwork had already been in route and tickets purchased. On top of that, Katsuki had been sure he was going to be just as small as when he’d had Katsumi. He had surpassed that stage two months ago.
The alpha seemed to shrink under Katsuki’s steady anger. “I, uh, I’m sure you don’t remember me, but you might remember my daughter? She was kidnapped while we were at the zoo, and you saved her before the guy could throw her into the lion pit.”
After a moment, Katsuki said, “Little red headed omega. Freckles everywhere. Presented very early at seven or something like that. Wouldn’t let any of the alpha heroes near her.”
A smile split across the alpha’s face, and Izuku wasn’t exactly sure what was happening here. “Yes! You were the only one who could get her to calm down enough to come out of the crevice she’d wedged herself in behind the statue.”
Katsuki considered the guy again, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame. “Right, now what were you saying about omegas earlier?”
Sumi pressed between them, eyes still narrowed at the man before them.
Red bloomed in the alpha’s face again, but this time it seemed to be in embarrassment. “Oh, nothing. Nothing at all! Your mate was giving me some parenting advice like he said.” A door opened close by.
“Right.”
Izuku and Sumi glanced down the hall to see an omega girl of about twelve pop out of the door.
“Dad, Danny said- Mr. Dynamight!” She darted out, letting the door slam shut behind her. She gasped. “Katsumi!”
“Katherine!” Sumi shouted in return, wriggling out from between Katsuki and Izuku to jump around with the other girl, hairbrush still in her hair and all. “You’re so much bigger than me now! Do you talk to Ms. Bains anymore?”
While the little girls chattered excitedly with each other, Katsuki pointed at the alpha. “You, come here,” he growled threateningly, palm crackling quietly. Swallowing, the alpha stepped just a hair closer, and Katsuki snapped out a hand to jerk him forward until they were nose to nose. He hissed, “Get your fucking boys under control and stop blaming others for your short-comings. You’ve got a fucking omega daughter, and you’re spouting that rhetoric around her? Get your fucking priorities straight.”
“Y-yes, sir,” the man squeaked.
Katsuki pushed him away. “Great, now that we understand each other.” He turned, slowly making his way back into the room, but returned only a moment later with something clutched in his hand. “Hey, girl!”
Katherine perked up, trotting over to the three adults with Sumi’s hand still clutched in hers. “Yes, sir?”
“Here, something to make your brothers jealous.” Katsuki held out a bandana that their PR agents had specially made when Katsuki and Izuku had publicized their bond. Cut from one corner to the other, one side was green and black with Izuku’s signature bunny motif while the other side was black and orange with ‘X’ graphics. They’d brought a couple of the prototypes to give to Shonetta and Cynthia. “That’s the first like it. I sighed the ‘X’ in the corner, and I’m sure Deku would sign it too if you ask him.”
Katherine turned big brown cow eyes on Izuku, and he smiled as he turned to find a sharpie.
Behind him, he heard Katsumi shout, “I’ve got one too! We can match! We’ve got shirts too! I could send you one when we get home!”
“Would you?” Katherine asked excitedly. Izuku grabbed a pen and paper as well, returning. As he traded everything in his hands for the bandana, she asked, “Dynamight, can I feel your belly, please? I’ve never gotten to feel a baby move before.”
“Go ahead, kid.” If Katsuki Bakugou was anything, he was soft when it came to children and other omegas.
Izuku thought maybe it was something he’d never really completely get about his mate. He knew it had to do with biology, but he thought maybe it had to do with just Katsuki himself. He was gruff around the edges, but he had an ingrained instinct to protect those weaker than him. Then again, Izuku was softer than him when it came to children, so who was really to say.
Katherine stepped forward, pressing reverential fingers to Katsuki’s distended stomach before leaning to press her ear there as well. Sumi followed her lead, chattering all the while as the girls felt and listened. Katherine let out a high, girlish giggle as she pulled back. “He kicked me in the face! What a little bugger.” Still, she pressed her ear right back to where it had been. “You smell good, Dynamight, sir.”
“Well, heck, I hope so. How else am I supposed to keep this one around?” Katsuki jerked a thumb over his shoulder at Izuku who huffed out a laugh in response.
Laughing, Katherine took a few more moments before pulling away. She scribbled a cell number, email address, and physical address before exchanging the notepad for the bandana again. “One day,” she said very seriously, staring up at Katsuki with wonder in her eyes, “I’m going to grow up just as strong as you. I’m going to be a great omega hero like you!”
Her father seemed ready to protest, opening his mouth to say whatever had come to mind, but Izuku put his hand on his shoulder with another sharp smile.
Katsuki’s expression was soft as he patted her on the shoulder. “Hit us up when you’re about to intern in high school, and maybe I’ll be able to work something with Negative. Or if you choose not to be a hero in this sense, you can intern with her wife at the hospital as a nurse or a midwife. There’s a lot of avenues that you could take. Make sure you pick the one that makes you happy.”
Katherine nodded, just a quick bob of her head. “I will.” Before they could part, she wrapped her arms around Katsuki and then did the same to Sumi. When she pulled away, eyes finding her father, they went wide. “Oh no! I forgot. Danny said that the toilet is clogged and it’s leaking all over the bathroom.”
“Ah! What the hell!” The alpha threw his hands into the air, stomping towards the door she’d come out of.
With a giggle, she hurried after him. “Bye, Katsumi! Bye, Mr. Dynamight! Bye, Mr. Deku! Hope to see you again!”
As they disappeared into the room, Katsuki turned to Sumi. “Okay, little monster, time to get ready. Shonetta and Cynthia are supposed to be picking us up soon, and why is there a hairbrush stuck in your hair! Deku!”
Izuku gaped. “It was there when she woke me up! Don’t go blaming me!”
“And yet, I’m still going to.”
…..
-7 months earlier-
“Izuku fucking Midoriya-Bakugou, get your ass in here!”
It wasn't often that Katsuki called Izuku by his full name, and he nearly dropped the plate he'd been holding as Katsuki's enraged voice thundered from the bathroom. He and Sumi, now a stunning nine-year-old and growing bigger every day, caught each other's eyes across the kitchen counter. It had been what felt like years since Katsuki had yelled at him so ferociously.
' Papa's mad !' Sumi signed helpfully, eyes darting to the bathroom door before returning to Izuku.
' Yeah, but the question is how much ?' Izuku signed back one-handed, soapy fingers moving quickly through the air, ' And why ?'
“Fucking Deku!”
Izuku startled again, this time actually dropping the plate as he darted away. Sumi's laughter followed after him, but it did nothing to calm his nerves. “K-Kacchan? What's the matter?” he asked tentatively as he pushed into the bathroom. He paused just inside the door.
Katsuki sat on the edge of the sink, head cradled in his hands, fingers pressed to his eyes. The scent hit him next, sweet caramel and all-spice spiked with the bitter tang of bile and urine. Last was the quiet growling hum Katsuki seemed to be letting slip.
“Kacchan?” Izuku stepped completely into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Whatever this was, he doubted Katsuki wanted Sumi in on it just yet. “What's the matter?”
“Are you fucking happy?” Katsuki growled, but the edges were softer and fonder than Izuku normally received when Katsuki was angry with him.
That made him wonder; was Katsuki actually angry or just trying to hide something? “A-a-about what? What's going on?” When Katsuki jerked his head toward the toilet, Izuku stepped around him and stopped again.
Right on top of the lid, four pregnancy tests sat. Four pink sticks with four pink plus signs on white faces stared up at him.
He was crying before he'd even fully comprehended the sheer magnitude of what the tests meant. Inhaling a shuddering breath, he whispered, “How long have you thought...”
“A couple weeks. About a month, but I wasn't sure. Didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. Had to check after I puked though.” Katsuki still hadn't lifted his head, and Izuku turned to press between his knees, leaning in to lightly scent the top of his head.
“Kacchan, you really are?” he asked with a hiccup, throat thick and voice choked, “Really? You're not messing with me?”
“Tell me, in what world do you think I'd joke about this?”
A sob slipped passed his lips. “Really? You're really pregnant? Are...” he trailed off, fear coiling in his stomach right alongside the excited butterflies, “Are you mad about it?”
Katsuki released a heavy sigh, and dropped his hands. A smile pulled up the corners of his mouth, and he met Izuku's eyes. "No. No, I'm not, Izuku. Maybe it's just my stupid omega brain, but... I love Katsumi and I loved when she was a baby, and I didn't think it was going to feel the way it did. I didn't think I'd get another chance to feel that again. It's different having a baby and that changed my whole world. And this time..." Reaching out, he gripped Izuku's hips and pulled him close. "This time you'll be here to experience it too."
A torrent of sobs fell from Izuku's mouth, and he covered his face with his hands. Pressing forward, he wrapped his arms around Katsuki's neck to press his face into Katsuki's shoulder instead. "Kacchan, I'm so happy! I can't believe- I didn't think- I'm so happy!"
"Yeah, that's obvious, nerd," Katsuki said fondly, threading his fingers into Izuku's hair to hold him close. "Get it all out now. You're not allowed to be emotional for the next nine months. Got it?"
"That's totally unreasonable." Izuku laughed, breath sticky and wet against his own face. "But I'll try my best." He let out a breath, finally calming as he pulled back. “I can't wait to share these next months with you."
"You won't be saying that soon," Katsuki warned, but his smile ruined the effect. He pulled Izuku back in, this time for a kiss. And even though his mouth still tasted hideous, Izuku couldn’t have been happier.
Sumi burst through the door, eyes wild, hair wilder, hands popping around a phone screaming with Shonetta's voice. "I'm going to have a baby brother?" she screeched, launching herself between Izuku and Katsuki to try and get closer. "Let me touch your belly, Papa! I want to feel Taiyo move!"
"Katsumi!" Katsuki growled warningly as he pulled back to glare down at her, "How many times have I told you to not eavesdrop! Or answer my phone!"
Izuku was laughing though, stepping back to hoist her into his arms. "Sumi, you won't be able to feel them move for a long time. And how long have you had that name picked out? Also, hello, Negative."
Shonetta wasn't paying attention, screaming instead at Katsuki to pick up his phone so she could congratulate him. He didn't comply, ears red and face buried in his hands.
"Since I was three!" Sumi announced, "And I told Papa I wanted a baby brother like the other girls in my class!"
"And I told you not to hold your breath, you little monster," Katsuki growled before groping blindly for the phone. Removing his hand, he glared down at the woman on the screen with red cheeks and curled lips. "You tell anyone, woman, and it'll be the end of you, do you hear me?"
"I've already texted Cynthia."
"You know she's not who I'm talking about."
Izuku could hear the grin in Shonetta's voice rather than see it. "Well, the entire agency is congratulating you. Don't ignore them when they text you."
"Bitch-"
"Katsuki," Izuku reprimanded quickly, but Sumi was already preoccupied as she chattered away at Shonetta.
…..
-Present-
“Katsumi Bakugou-Midoriya, get over here and put your jacket on or I’m going to leave you here, and you’re not going to get to go to the Christmas Stroll at all.”
Izuku popped his head into the little guest room that Shonetta and Cynthia had set up for Sumi to use for the week they’d be in America. There was an air mattress on the floor with a rumpled pink comforter in the middle surrounded by two desks and numerous filing cabinets. Sitting on the edge of the mattress was Sumi, arms crossed over her chest in consternation.
“No! It’ll be too hot!” she shot back, “I can dress myself!”
“Clearly not if I’m having to tell you to put on more clothes because it’s going to be cold!” Katsuki snarled, out of breath as he glared at his daughter. He was gripping the back of a computer chair with one hand while the other pressed to the small of his back, face contorted with as much discomfort as it was irritation. “I’m not asking. This is nonnegotiable, and I’m not in the mood to be arguing with you.”
Sumi turned up her nose, and Izuku got a very sudden and terrifying flashback to Katsuki when they’d been kids. “No. I’m not wearing it.”
Before either could snap back, Izuku stepped into the room with a smile. "Sumi, you know you're not supposed to be arguing with Papa right now." He turned to Katsuki with a smile that softened as that now familiar warmth of seeing Katsuki swollen with pregnancy filled his chest. "Kacchan, please sit down if you're uncomfortable."
"I'm fucking fine," Katsuki snapped, but almost immediately blanched and slowly sank into the computer chair. "Fucking kid." Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back and rubbed a hand over his belly. Once, twice, soothing circles.
When Izuku looked back at his daughter, he found guilt twisting her round face. "Wait here for me, Sumi, and we'll talk about the jacket. I'm going to help Papa outside."
"Okay," she mumbled, ducking her head and tugging at the end of her long braid, "Sorry, Papa."
Izuku gripped Katsuki forearm as he slowly stood back up. "Not your fault, little monster, your brother just has a lot of energy like Dad."
She didn't lift her head, and they both sighed as they made their slow way out of the room, and out to the living room.
"Shouldn't have yelled at her," Katsuki grumbled as he sat down and let Izuku slide and lace up the orthopedic boots from Cynthia on his feet.
"There was a better way to handle the situation, yes, but traveling always makes you irritable. And you've been doing really well handling your anger throughout your entire pregnancy." Task completed, Izuku pressed a kiss to Katsuki's belly and got kicked in the mouth for his trouble. "I'll talk to her, and then maybe you can talk to her about why you were frustrated later."
Katsuki made a sound above him, and Izuku lifted his head to find his husband scrubbing at his eyes. Izuku pressed gentle fingers to Katsuki’s wrist, but it only made Katsuki's breath hitch. "You're so much better at this parenting thing than I am. What would I have done if you hadn't wanted to stay with us?"
Pregnancy hormones. Even eight months in, Izuku was still surprised by how wildly Katsuki's emotions could vacillate in a few moments. Anger to guilt to tears. Tears weren't something Katsuki was predisposed to, so each time Izuku found Katsuki crying over something, he always had to stop and think about his next step. Sometimes Katsuki would cry over something that made sense; pictures of Sumi in the hospital, a news story about children being lost in a villain attack, the anniversary of All Might's death. Sometimes, they didn’t make sense; the time he'd knocked the dish soap onto the floor, doing paperwork at home instead of at the agency because he'd had an appointment that day, watching Winnie the Pooh by himself while Sumi was at school.
Everything about pregnancy fascinated Izuku, and he felt blessed every moment of it he was able to share with his mate.
Standing, Izuku pulled Katsuki into his body, rubbing a hand up and down his spine. "We're a team, love, we've always been a team. This works because we're together. Even if I weren't here, I know you'd be nothing less than amazing."
They remained like that until Katsuki’s shaking slowed. After a moment, he whispered, “Deku.”
“Yes?”
“I want you suck your dick.”
Izuku felt his entire body flush from head to toe at the blunt word choice. He laughed, rubbing at his forehead. “How about we save that for later? I thought you wanted to go to this Christmas Stroll thing Sumi and Shonetta haven’t stopped talking about. Isn’t today the last night?”
Katsuki huffed against Izuku’s chest, fingers stilling where he’d pushed them up beneath Izuku’s shirt. “I would say ‘fuck it’,” he groused, using Izuku to stand back up, “But it’s Sumi’s favorite part of the season. The whole thing’s a fucking annoyance.” Which actually meant Katsuki enjoyed it, Izuku had discovered. “The things I do for that little monster and her godmothers.”
Izuku smoothed a hand over Katsuki belly, smiling as it was kicked at rather viciously. “He’s been moving around a lot, hasn’t he? Wouldn’t it be crazy if he decided to be a Christmas baby.”
Fingers curling in Izuku’s collar, Katsuki brought their noses very, very close. “Don’t even joke about that, shithead. I’m not done baking this loaf yet.” He pressed a quick kiss to Izuku’s lips before hobbling away towards the kitchen where Cynthia and Shonetta were singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs. “Sumi’s still waiting for you.”
Izuku put on his own shoes before returning to the bedroom. Sumi was still sitting in the same spot he’d left her, scrubbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her long-sleeved t-shirt as she sniffled quietly. "I'm sorry," she whispered miserably.
Sighing, Izuku picked up the coat -barely a sweater really- that Katsuki had been trying to get Sumi to put on and sat down beside her. "Why are you sorry?"
Her shoulders hitched, just like her father’s a moment ago, and mumbled, “Because I’m being a bad girl.”
Running a hand up and down Sumi’s back like he’d done with Katsuki, he asked, “Why do you think you’re being a bad girl?”
“Because I was arguing with Papa and made him start to yell and now he’s mad at me. I don’t want to wear my jacket because it’ll be too hot, but I just get so mad when he starts to yell. I can’t help it.”
“You’re a lot like your Papa, baby. He’s like that too, and it took him a long time to learn not to let that be his first response.” Resting his hand on the side of Sumi’s head, he pulled her into his body, pressing a kiss to her temple. “He’s not mad at you, he just wants to make sure you don’t get sick. Papa shouldn’t have yelled at you, but you shouldn’t have yelled back, okay?”
“Okay.” Sumi hiccupped, tilting her head to rest on his shoulder.
Izuku let the moment stretch until he heard Cynthia’s voice coming down the hallway. “Alright, so here’s what we’re going to do.” Lifting her head, Sumi sat back to meet his eyes, silent and resolute. “I want you to put on your jacket before we go outside, okay. No, no arguments.” He put up a finger when her mouth automatically opened to argue. “You can take it off again in the car. You have to put it back on before you get out of the car. If it’s too hot after ten minutes of being outside, you can take it back off, but I want you to carry it just in case you do get cold. Okay? Is that fair?”
After a moment of puff-cheeked disdain, Sumi huffed and muttered, “Yes.”
…..
When the others had said ‘Christmas Stroll’, Izuku had been expecting houses lit with strings of light and families marveling at them as they passed. Maybe a few groups caroling or selling hot chocolate.
Izuku was not expecting a full-on parade of floats and fire trucks and police cars with people dressed as Santa Clause and elves dancing to Christmas music over loudspeakers. He also wasn’t expecting an entire street to be shut down and blocked off to allow the crowd to walk from one booth or store to another. At either end of the street, live music played. One side seemed to be professional musicians while the other side seemed to be high school students and volunteers. Behind the makeshift stages, Christmas trees towered, dripping in tinsel and sparkling lights and handmade ornaments from the ornament making stalls off to the sides.
Each booth and store shone with lights, boasting their wares. There was a whole booth dedicated to olive oil, another to soaps made out of goat’s milk, another to hero merch that Katsuki wouldn’t let him linger at. There even seemed to be a gift wrapping stall every ten meters or so. The stores were all small family owned businesses of holistic shops, restaurants and one records shop.
Katsumi ran out in front of them in the jacket she’d been so against with Shonetta, laughing as they held hands and darted around other families. Cynthia paced Katsuki, close at his elbow to help at any moment.
“Papa, look!” Sumi shouted, pointing down the road, “The tortoise from Guisser Pets is out again! Oh, Cookie Tree has a booth! Can we please get some cookies and hot chocolate!”
“Sure!” Katsuki called back, “Go pick out what you want, and we’ll catch up in a moment. Do a baker’s dozen!”
Other patrons glanced curiously at him, the Japanese obviously foreign to their ears, but Katsuki didn’t seem to notice as Izuku pressed close against his side. “This is really nice. They do this every year?” Izuku asked.
“Every damn year. The agency usually helps out too,” Katsuki said, eyes scanning over the crowd, “Those idiots should be around here som-”
“KATSUMI!”
Izuku and Katsuki lurched forward on instinct, Cynthia’s hand shooting out to grip Katsuki’s arm, but they stopped as quickly as they’d started. Up ahead, a group of heroes lifted their daughter into the air as she screamed with laughter. “Katsumi! Katsumi! Katsumi!” they chanted, Negative already in the middle of the group not making a lick of difference.
For a solid moment, they stood watching. Then Katsuki strode forward, intent in every step. “Hey, assholes! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Izuku had heard Katsuki use English before -at the hotel, on the phone with Shonetta, to Katsumi when she got overwhelmed- but it was a shock every time. And every time it made him hot around the collar. He watched completely dumbfounded as Katsuki stopped in front of the group, hands on his hips, and subsequently as they engulfed him into their mist. “Ah, Kat!” they shouted, and Sumi popped from the group to dart to Izuku’s side, “It’s so good to see you! Where have ya been, fucker? Holy shit, you’re huge!”
It was a group of fumbling, laughing and crowing as they absorbed Katsuki into their ranks like he’d never returned to Japan in the first place.
Izuku stood with Cynthia and Katsumi, watching his husband interact with people in a way he never had before. Katsuki’s smile was wide and unrestricted as he wrapped one of the guys in a choke hold and rubbed his knuckles roughly over the man’s crown. As he playfully pushed at the shoulder of a small wolf-eyed woman with sharp canines, large triangle ears and grey bottlebrush tail. As a pair of twins with cotton candy pink hair and thin delicate claws pressed their ears to his belly to listen.
There was an instinctual need to ward off every person standing too close to Katsuki, especially the alphas he could smell in the air, but knew exactly how well that would go over. That didn’t stop him from pumping out pheromones enough to make others attending the stroll pass him wary glances before skirting as far around him as they could. Beneath his hand, Sumi giggled and reached up to grab his arm tightly.
“Calm down, tough guy,” Cynthia told him, hand on his arm as she pushed cinnamon dreads back over her shoulder, “You’re suffocating the crowd. They’re not a danger to your mate or pup.”
Izuku groaned, turning to meet her brown eyes. “I know that logically, but that doesn’t make me want to rip off their hands any less.”
‘ Protect mate. Protect pup. Mate close to birth. Vulnerable. Must protect. Run off threats. Protect .’ The litany of Izuku’s alpha was only interrupted when the group of Katsuki’s ex-coworkers started glancing around.
“Speaking of which, where is baby daddy? You brought him, right? Of course you did. No alpha worth his salt would let a mate as pregnant as you out of their sight. We haven’t met him yet! Let us meet the person who can handle you!” a burly man shouted to a crowing of assents from the rest of the group, “Come on, Kat, where are you hiding him?”
“My mate and husband , you absolute dickhole, is right over there,” Katsuki spat, jerking a thumb over his shoulder, “Can’t you smell him? Or are you as nose blind as you are stpuid?”
The group followed Katsuki’s motion, eyes landing squarely on Izuku. Immediately, his alpha went on high alert while his face flooded with heat at the attention. Their eyes stared at him for several long moments. Eventually, it was the woman with wolf eyes that spoke up first. “Honestly, Kat, I saw the news, but I thought it was a publicity stunt. I didn’t think you had your claws in Japan’s No.1 Hero Deku. Like what is that? Sumi, how could you keep this from us!”
“I didn’t! You just didn’t believe me!” Sumi shouted back, hands still wrapped around Izuku’s forearm as she bodily dragged him towards the group.
“Hey, assholes! He’s been mine since we were kids! And we switch between the top two spots all the time! Hey!” Katsuki’s teeth snapped viciously, a snarl splitting the excited atmosphere as he knocked aside someone’s hand who’d been reaching for Izuku. “Hands off. This is a no touch exhibition, fucking got it?”
“Ah, Kat, you’re too much like a territorial alpha,” the burly man said, setting a hand on Katsuki’s shoulder.
This time, Izuku didn’t stop himself. He slotted himself between the man and Katsuki, and very deliberately picked his hand off Katsuki’s shoulder to give it back to him. “Like Kacchan said, this is a no touch exhibition.” He gave the group his widest and most lethal smile that put his sharp canines in full view. “Please stop touching my mate. I’ve been very patient up until now.”
The heroes roared with laughter, unaffected by either Izuku’s or Katsuki’s displays. The conversation devolved from there. Introductions were properly made. Chatter shot from one side of the circle to another. Santa hats were shoved onto Izuku’s and Katsuki’s heads from the good-natured group. Eventually, Shonetta dispersed the group to continue with their jobs. Sumi took off with the twins as they promised her cookies if she danced with them. Shonetta and Cynthia pulled back, and then it was just Katsuki and Izuku holding hands as they wove slowly through the crowds.
At the end of the street where the professional band was playing a slow sweet Christmas song, Katsuki allowed Izuku to pull him into a crowd of couples of every age and orientation. He wrapped Katsuki up in his arms and swayed them gently to the beat. The twins turned passed them, Sumi held on their feet, and Izuku smiled.
When he pressed a lingering Katsuki’s temple, he muttered, “You’re being gross. Stop.” Despite his words, he leaned into the gentle touch.
“I’m happy. I like it here. I like the whole celebrating together and the lights and how happy everyone else is too.”
“It’s one of the more enjoyable things to look forward to here,” Katsuki agreed.
Giggles rose from around them, and for a moment, Izuku thought it was because they were so tightly bound up in each other that they hadn’t realized the song had changed. Only, the song was still the same slow beat. They pulled apart enough for Katsuki to give the surrounding couples a dirty glare.
They weren’t looking at them particularly, but at their feet.
Sumi swooped in, eyes worried as she whispered, “Papa, did you have an accident?”
“What? No, I didn’t have an accident. I’m twenty-”
“It’s just… your legs are all wet and there’s a puddle under you,” she interrupted.
Katsuki and Izuku reeled away from each other, staring down between their bodies at the puddle beneath their feet. Izuku couldn’t understand how Katsuki hadn’t felt the wet, but he also couldn’t understand how there could be so much liquid and it not smell like urine.
Color drained from Katsuki’s face. “Katsumi, go get Cynthia and ask Shonetta to run to start the car,” he said slowly and deliberately.
“Why? Are you hurt?”
Was he hurt? Izuku was as lost as Sumi seemed to be, but Katsuki didn’t seem lost at all.
“No. Just tell them my water broke, okay, little monster?”
‘ My water broke .’ Izuku was suddenly far less lost, and both fear and excitement thrilled through him at the same time.
“Are you going to be okay?”
Katsuki seemed to struggle to smile. “I sure am, little monster. Just go tell your godmothers that okay. Tell them to be quick.” His fingers tightened exponentially on Izuku’s forearms, and as soon as Sumi darted away, he spat, “You just had to open your fucking mouth, didn’t you, Deku?” Unbidden tears spilled passed his lashes. “I fucking told you I hadn’t finished yet. Now, he’s coming and-”
Izuku cupped Katsuki’s cheeks in his hands, quickly wiping away the tears. “It’s okay, Kacchan. He’s a little early, but it’ll be okay. It’s not ideal, but we’ve got Cynthia and Shonetta, and everything went well when you had Katsumi here. It’ll be alright.”
“I know that,” Katsuki grit out, eyes squeezed shut, “But so many things can go wrong with a preemie. I just want him to come out healthy and happy. What if-”
Izuku tapped Katsuki’s cheek lightly. “Hey, none of that now. No ‘what ifs’. Taiyo is going to be just fine, alright, but we’ve got to get him here first.”
After another few seconds of just breathing and couples staring at them in concern, Katsuki opened his eyes. He was back to himself, the same hero who had faced down more villains than a lot of heroes could even boast about. With steel in his eyes, he muttered, “Get ready. I’m going to end up breaking your fingers tonight. I broke Best Jeanist’s last time.”
Izuku laughed, and then Cynthia was at their sides.
…..
Taiyo came into the world in the early hours of Christmas morning, and was almost immediately whisked away to the preemie ICU. They hadn’t even allowed Katsuki or Izuku to scent him before.
Now, with Katsuki fitfully sleeping under the sedative they’d had to administer to make sure he wouldn’t come after them, Izuku sat in silence. At first, he’d busied himself with making the phone calls he needed to. One to Inko, to Mitsuki and Masaru, to their agencies to inform them of what had happened so they would know that not only would they miss their flight, but also they’d be immediately beginning maternity/paternity leave. The last calls he made were to Ochako and Kirishima.
Hearing their voices, so cheerful and encouraging, made tears slip down his cheeks and words difficult as he explained to them the situation so far.
They both said the same thing. “Don’t worry, Deku, everything is going to be fine. Taiyo is going to be fine.”
He wasn’t so sure the longer he sat there without a baby in his arms. He didn’t even have Sumi there to hold, Shonetta and Cynthia taking her home and telling him to call when he finally had word on Taiyo. So, he sat and fidgeted and stressed and cried at the side of Katsuki’s bed. Eventually, he just crawled in next to him and snuggled close.
What felt like hours later, Katsuki began mumbling and shifting, eyelashes fluttering as the sedatives wore off. “Zuku. Zuku. Izuku,” he panted, eyes struggling to open, “Alpha- where’s my pup?” His fingers curled around Izuku’s already bruised digits again, grip slowly growing stronger as he came out of the drug induced stupor. “Where’s my pup? Alpha!”
Izuku sat up in the bed, quickly reaching to incline the head so Katsuki wouldn’t have to move. After jabbing his thumb into the call button, he settled back against the bed and ran shaky fingers through Katsuki’s sweat sticky spikes. “D-don’t worry. They’re just making sure he’s healthy. I’m sure they’re almost done.”
“I want my baby,” Katsuki whispered weakly, turning his nose into Izuku’s neck. He breathed out shakily, grip calming if only marginally.
“Me too. I called the nurse. I’m sure she has an update.”
When the nurse pushed opened the door, tugging a bassinet in behind her with the doctor in on the other side, it was deathly silent. There was no smile on either of their faces, and Izuku’s stomach dropped at the silence.
He could smell Taiyo. Spearmint and brown sugar. There wasn’t anything off about it, but the expressions on the doctor and nurse’s faces told a different story.
‘ Pup. Scent. Hold. Protect. Need to scent. Pup. ’ Izuku swallowed against his alpha’s rising aggravation.
“I want my baby,” Katsuki said immediately, struggling to push himself up straighter and reaching out his arms towards the bassinet, “Now.”
“Mr. Dynamight, we need to discuss something first-” the doctor started, but Katsuki wasn’t going to let him finish.
He snarled, loud and harsh, all protective omega mother. “Give me my fucking baby before I get out of this bed and hurt someone. You didn’t even let me scent him before you took him. You didn’t let me touch him or feed him. Give me my goddamn baby.”
The nurse and doctor exchanged a glance, but after a moment, the nurse carefully lifted the abnormally silent bundle into her arms and brought him to the bedside. Hesitantly, she passed him over.
Katsuki and Izuku reached for him at the same time, bringing him in close between their two bodies. His eyes were closed, but he snuffled quietly as if he could smell them as well. There was wispy blond hair on the top of his head, and when his eyelids fluttered, there was the barest glimpse of color. Newborn baby blue eyes.
Tears tracked down Izuku’s face as he pressed a kiss to Taiyo’s forehead and then Katsuki’s temple.
“Help me get this stupid gown open,” Katsuki muttered as he shifted Taiyo closer to his chest. Taiyo made a soft barely audible sound, tiny nostrils flaring as Izuku and Katsuki got him flush against Katsuki’s chest. It only took him a moment to latch onto the offered nipple. “Why was that so much easier than with Sumi?”
The doctor cut in before they could continue on ignoring the pair. “Mr. Dynamight, Mr. Deku, please, if I could have a moment of your time. This is very important.”
“More important than me feeding my pup?” Katsuki asked, voice saccharine as he smiled up at the doctor.
The doctor swallowed, but nodded and forged forward. “I need to discuss your options with you. I know that you two are very busy pro-heroes with one child already.”
“What situation are we talking about?” Izuku asked, “You failed to mention what the problem was when you took him from us. I understand that you had to make sure he was healthy, and I appreciate the good work you’ve already done for us, but if something’s wrong, we should have been told immediately. Not hours after the fact.”
Looking chastened and rather aggrieved, the doctor nodded. “Yes, but this is a rather delicate subject. We weren’t sure how, uh…” He cleared his throat, eyes flickering toward Katsuki.
“How I would react? Is that what you were going to say?” Katsuki sneered, mouth cutting a razor sharp line. “You think anything is going to make me not want my pup, is that it? Full offense, but you don’t fucking know anything about me. So tell me what you’re so worried I’m going to react badly over.”
Swallowing again, the doctor cleared his throat. Worry and fear pierced straight through his scent when before Izuku hadn’t even been able to smell the alpha. Katsuki really was marvel. “Your baby was born with a birth defect known as spina bifeda. Do you know what that is?” Katsuki and Izuku didn’t answer, eyes now trained solely on the doctor. Clearing his throat for a second time, he gave a brief explanation before saying, “From the tests we’ve run, we have determined that it’s not a severe case. His brain seems fully functional, no sign of water.”
“But?” Katsuki snapped.
“But... it seems the mobility of his legs is non-existent. As he grows older, the condition may worsen or it may remain the same. What we know for sure at this moment is that he’ll never walk normally. There’s only so much our healers can do, but if the nervous system just didn’t develop correctly…” The doctor trailed off, looking between the two silent heroes. “He is going to need a lot of care, more than two pro-heroes may be able to give him. There are resources-”
“Shut up.” The doctor went silent with a clack of teeth, and Katsuki sighed, running a finger over Taiyo’s chubby cheek. “Not even you’re normal, baby. Sorry, but you’ll fit right in. Between the four of us, we’ve got three legs, six and a half arms, three sets of working ears and four pairs of eyes. Welcome to this dysfunctional family. Merry Christmas, you little heathen.”
Izuku was sure he’d never been more in love with Katsuki than in that moment. Laughing quietly, he asked, “I get everything else, but why six and a half arms? I’ve still got both of mine.”
Katsuki rolled his eyes, not looking up from Taiyo. “Yeah, and one of them barely functions. Hence, half.”
“Okay.” Izuku pressed a kiss to Katsuki’s cheek before turning to look back at the gawking doctor and nurse. “When can we take him home? Also, when can we get on a plane? We eventually have to go back to Japan.”
They could only sputter.
…..
“Katsumi Bakugou-Midoriya, you are not taking your brother on to the jungle gym. He’s too small right now. Bring him to me.”
With a huff, Sumi turned on a heel and returned to Katsuki and Izuku where they were sitting on the park bench with Kirishima and Mina. Their little boy, a few years younger than Sumi, pouted impatiently at the swings while Sumi very carefully unstrapped Taiyo and his papoose from her front.
“I know you want to include your brother in everything, but you have to wait for him to get bigger. It’s going to be a while before he can really play with you, alright?” Katsuki explained patiently, holding Taiyo up so Izuku could remove his papoose and sat him in his lap. Taiyo waved his fists, but had yet to kick out. Just as the doctor had said, Taiyo seemed to have no control over his legs, though he could still feel pain. After returning to Japan, they’d immediately started him on neuro-therapy, but they had no illusions that he’d ever walk normally. Now, they just planned for what they could do for him instead.
Sumi leaned in to press a kiss to Taiyo’s nose, and he crinkled his crimson eyes at her before batting at her with a closed fist. She laughed, dancing back with a whirl of skirts. “I understand. I’ll play with him when we get home then.” Spinning, she tore off across the playground and tackled her friend to the woodchips.
Mina laughed, phone at eye level as she recorded the entire debacle. “Yeah, that’s your guys’ child. Poor, Dai.”
Kirishima sighed, though happily, running a hand through his ever lengthening red hair. “Honestly.” He cut eyes towards the trio as Katsuki began to bounce Taiyo on his knee, the baby babbling nonsense the entire time. Reaching over, he allowed Taiyo to grip at his fingers. “You know, a lot of people are surprised. I keep trying to explain it, but no one ever believes Chako or me.”
“Hah? About what?” Katsuki asked, glancing away from Sumi to throw Kirishima a scowl.
“You know, that you kept Taiyo.”
“Yeah, even after all this time there are people who thought you’d give him up for adoption or something for being disabled,” Mina interjected, leaning around Kirishima to get her eyes on him, “I know you’ve been staying away from the news and stuff while you’re still on leave, but some of the headlines are absolute bonkers. When they ask me about it in interviews, I tell them straight up that everyone’s being an idiot.”
Katsuki rolled his eyes, eyelashes fluttering spectacularly, and Izuku sighed. “That would be kind of hypocritical of us, considering,” Izuku said, glancing at Sumi’s legs, bare metal because she’d refused to put on the synthetic skin or leggings that morning. “But that’s besides the point.”
“I mean,” Kirishima started, mouth skewing, “I don’t think they ever doubted you’d want to keep him, Deku.”
“And I’ll tell those vultures the exact same thing I told the doctor,” Katsuki interjected before Izuku had a chance to speak, “People don’t know fuck all about me.” He dropped his eyes back to the baby in his lap. “Taiyo was the best Christmas present I could have ever gotten. The only people who need to know that are the four of us. Everyone else can shove their opinions.”
Izuku felt heat press against his eyes, and he dropped his forehead against Katsuki’s shoulder as Mina laughed and said, “You’ve gotten soft in your motherhood, Kats.”
Instead of his usual response, Izuku heard Katsuki say, “Yeah, probably.”
Izuku laughed happily against his shoulder, grinning like the in-love fool he was.
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flowerfan2 · 6 years
Text
A Different Kind of Fireworks
Out of all my fics, this one is the most happy new year of them all - enjoy, and happy 2019!
Stucky, 2600 words, A03, post-CA-TWS (ignore IW)
The holidays don’t dispel Steve’s loneliness… but a New Year’s day surprise does the trick.
---
“Come on, one more round,” Clint says, doing some silly thing with his eyebrows that makes Natasha grin.  Natasha and Bruce agree, and Steve sighs softly to himself as Clint deals the cards. Bruce had received a special superhero expansion deck for Cards Against Humanity for Christmas, and the group has been hanging out in the tower common room playing it whenever their more civilized presence wasn’t required.
This year’s holiday calendar has been much like the year before – a fancy fundraising party a few days before Christmas to show off the team, a sumptuous dinner just for the Avengers and their colleagues to encourage bonding, and then various PR events to take advantage of the good will of the holiday season.  Steve doesn’t mind it too much.  His favorite assignment this year was visiting kids at a children’s hospital ward.  Steve knows what it’s like to be too sick to enjoy Christmas.  He sometimes feels like he still is.
Because for all the jollity of the Avenger’s end of the year schedule, it rings false too often for Steve. He knows all about “found family,” and he’s grateful for the friendships he has formed over the past few years. Sam, in particular, has gone above and beyond, quietly supporting him as he spent months on a fruitless search for a ghost.  But there’s still something missing for Steve, and the festive chaos of the holidays does nothing to fill that space.  No amount of champagne served at black tie galas can make up for what Steve has lost.
Steve shakes his head, trying to get a grip.  He has his health, a job that means something, people who care about him.  He thinks back to the little girl he met at the hospital, who seemed to want nothing more than to pelt him with questions about Iron Man (who was notably absent), able to ignore for at least a few minutes the fact that she probably won’t live to see the end of this new year. In comparison Steve’s life is no tragedy, and he wishes he could appreciate that fact.
Pepper joins them, laughing for a few minutes at whatever ridiculousness Clint is peddling, and then hands them each a stack of shiny eight by tens to sign, thank you’s for donors who emptied their pockets at the New Year’s Eve charity dinner last night. “Sorry to disrupt your game,” Pepper says, not looking sorry at all.  “The holidays are over.  Time to get back to work.”
 Steve knows that signing glossy photos of himself holding his shield is objectively better than having to actually go out and throw his shield at bad guys, and yet after a week of enforced down time, he’s wishing for just a tiny bit of trouble.  Anything to get out of his own head.   It might help to go to the gym and work out some of his negativity.  Either that or schedule a one on one “coffee” with Sam to talk about why Steve is apparently incapable of enjoying the happiest time of the year.
 “Hey, do you happen to know when Tony’s coming back?”  Natasha asks, waving her silver marker at Pepper.  “I need him to invent a better pen.”
 “What, not pointy enough for you?”  Clint asks, holding his marker up and making stabby motions.  “Better be careful what you ask for.  Although,” Clint looks thoughtfully at his marker, “exploding pens would make this more interesting.”
 “He’s supposed to be home today,” Pepper responds, with a quick look at Steve.  He’s not sure what he’s got to do with Tony’s absence, or his reappearance, but he shrugs it off and goes back to signing photos.  Tony hasn’t filled Steve in on his current side mission, and it hadn’t occurred to Steve to be concerned.  Everyone is entitled to their own business.  Tony may be the worst at remembering that, but he deserves privacy just the same.
 Several hours later, after a low key New Year’s day dinner refreshingly free of cranberries or mulled cider or anything decorated in red and green, Tony makes his entrance.  He looks exhausted, still in the black long sleeved shirt and leggings he wears under his suit.
 Most of the group waves lazily from the table, shouting out greetings.  Tony nods and “happy new year’s” back at them, but he doesn’t sit down. Instead, he meets Steve’s eyes and motions him over.
 “Stark,” Steve says, joining Tony by the door.  “Everything okay?”
 Tony meets his eyes. “I think it will be.  You should go up to your floor.”
 Steve feels a shiver run through him at Tony’s guarded expression, and doesn’t bother to argue.  It takes no time at all to jog up the five flights of stairs to his quarters, and then Steve is standing outside his own door. Probably Tony has just got him some new toy, a coffee maker that doubles as a kiln, or some other modern day nonsense. No reason to get excited.
 But Steve can’t help the fact that his heart is beating hard in his chest.  When he opens the door and steps inside, he gasps for breath, as if the serum never entered his blood.
 There’s a man standing by the window, looking out over the city.  It’s dark in the room, lit only by the lights on the tree, but there’s no question in Steve’s mind who it is.
 “Bucky,” he breathes out, and the man turns.  He’s broader in the shoulders than the boy Steve knew, and his hair is still long, like the last time Steve saw him.  Steve strides forward, then stops himself when the man tenses.
 “Sorry, sorry-”  Steve puts his hands up, then clasps them together, almost in prayer, to keep himself from reaching out.  “Bucky.  Are – are you – you?  Do you remember…?”
 “More or less,” the man says, and Steve is so relieved that Bucky is responding to his name, with none of that heartbreaking “who the hell is Bucky” crap, that he can almost breathe again.
 “Oh my god, Bucky,” Steve says, “thank god.  Thank god.”
 “Not sure he had much to do with it,” Bucky replies.  
 Steve would laugh at the wry humor in Bucky’s voice, if his throat wasn’t tight enough to sob.  “No?”
 “Not unless he’s come back as Stark.”
 Suddenly it all makes sense – the sneaking around, the side mission, the look from Pepper.  Steve may need to seriously reevaluate how he feels about Tony.   “Tony found you?”  
 Bucky grunts, as if insulted by the idea.  “I let him arrange a meet.  He had information I needed.  Some offshoot HYDRA assholes were ramping up to frame me, use me for some awful plan.”
 Suddenly Steve’s stomach sinks.  Bucky isn’t here for him.  He’s not actually coming home, coming back to Steve.  He’s just avoiding capture.  Outsmarting HYDRA.
 “Okay,” Steve says, trying to find something to say that doesn’t reveal his disappointment. “That’s um, that’s good.  That Tony helped, I mean, he can definitely be helpful sometimes.  And that you, um, got away.  From HYDRA. Or, whoever.”
 Bucky doesn’t seem to be listening to him anymore, which isn’t surprising given the dreck that’s coming out of his mouth.  He’s looking around the room, with nothing on his face giving away any shred of emotion, until his eyes land on the Christmas tree.
 “Kind of narcissistic, isn’t it?  Ornaments of yourself?”
 Steve feels his face flush. “Tony got them for all of us.” The tree is decorated with little mini-Avengers in holiday colors, as well as sparkly little shields for Steve, sharp arrows for Clint, horrifying spiders for Nat, and so on.
 “You’re friends, then,” Bucky says.  “With these people.”
 “They’re my team.”  
 Bucky doesn’t comment further, and doesn’t move, just stays there, eyes looking somewhere just past Steve’s shoulder.  At attention, Steve thinks.  The literal opposite of at ease.  Get your head out of your ass and help him, Steve thinks, and swiftly readjusts his attitude.
 “Bucky, please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable.”  He waves at the couch, and Bucky comes a little closer and takes a seat in the corner.  He’s wearing a leather jacket and a dark red shirt that strains across his chest, worn jeans and black work boots.  “Can I get you something to eat?”
 Bucky’s eyes flash up at him, wary, and Steve tries to make his body relax.  There’s no danger here, he tries to project.  Not from me.  Not ever from me.
 Steve moves into his little kitchen, still visible from the living area, and opens the refrigerator. “How about roast beef?”
 “Sure.”
 Steve occupies himself for a few minutes, cutting thick slices of the rye bread Tony has delivered from his favorite deli, piling it high with roast beef and sharp cheddar cheese.   “Do you want some root beer?  I’ve got that, or orange juice, or water...”
 Bucky doesn’t respond, so Steve opens a bottle of root beer and brings it over, setting it down with the sandwich on the coffee table.
 Bucky frowns at the single plate.  “You’re not going to eat?”  Steve wonders if he’s remembering all the times they struggled to put food on the table. He thinks he is, when Bucky takes half his sandwich and holds it out to Steve.
 It doesn’t matter that Steve’s been living in the lap of luxury since he joined the Avengers, it’s the best sandwich he’s had in years.
 They eat in silence, Steve joining Bucky on the couch.  He leaves plenty of space between them, until he reaches over to steal a long sip of Bucky’s soda.  Again, Bucky tenses, but Steve thinks he lets it go a little faster this time.  In any case, Bucky gives him a little almost grin and swipes the bottle back from Steve without missing a beat.
 “So, where’ve you been?” Steve finally asks.  He hopes this is a fairly safe topic of conversation, and forgive him, but he’s damn curious.
 “All around,” Bucky replies. “I’ve got a few different spots in Europe that I mostly move between.  I was in Bucharest, the last few weeks.  Got a little too comfortable.”
 Steve tilts his head inquiringly and Bucky goes on.
 “I went to the Christmas market.  You know, stalls with candles and funnel cakes, live music playing.  I think I was spotted.”
 Steve doesn’t like to think about the life Bucky’s been living, where just trying to enjoy himself for an evening risks his life.  Hopefully whatever Stark came up with is more than a short-term solution.  Knowing Stark, it probably is – the man doesn’t do anything halfway.
 Steve notices Bucky glance down at his empty plate, and his manners kick back in.  “Want another sandwich?”
 Bucky quickly shakes his head.  “No, I’m good.”
 “Cookie?  Glass of milk?”
 Bucky smiles.  “Stark calls you an old man, you know.  He doesn’t realize you’ve been like this your whole life.  See your guy for the first time in years, and offer him cookies and milk.  Smooth.”
 Steve feels almost faint with it, the realization that this really is Bucky, the only person in the world that knows the real Steve Rogers.  And he doesn’t miss “your guy,” dropped into the sentence as if it meant nothing. He wants to throw his arms around Bucky and never let him go.  “God damn it, Bucky, I am so incredibly happy to see you.”
 Bucky bites his lip, his expression almost shy.  “Are you?”
 “Bucky.”  Steve draws in a deep breath, and slides a little closer to Bucky on the couch.  “I couldn’t be happier.  Nothing, nothing could make me happier.”
 “I wasn’t sure,” Bucky says, looking down at his knees.  “Stark said, but…”
 Steve tries to calm the butterflies in his stomach, but he can’t hold back the question.  “Buck, did you come here to avoid being framed, or to see me?”
 Bucky narrows his eyes at Steve.  “Come on, pal.  D’ya think this is the only place in the world I could hide from HYDRA’s crook of the month?”
 “But – I searched for you. Me and Sam – for months.”
 “Yeah,” Bucky says, returning his gaze to his lap.  “And then you stopped.”
 It hits Steve like a blow, although he knows that it was the right thing to do at the time.  He was needed, and Bucky knew where to find him. Still, knowing that Bucky wondered even a little, that Steve hurt him by his decision, is painful.
 “And I get it,” Bucky says, setting his jaw.  “You got everything you could ever want.”  He gestures at the room.  
 Steve thinks that now isn’t the time to get into precisely why Bucky is full of shit, and he guesses that Bucky wouldn’t really hear it, anyway.  He probably doesn’t even believe it, if he remembers Steve the way he seems to. “Sam said if you wanted us to find you, we would have,” Steve says softly.  “I think he was right.  You clearly didn’t want us to find you.  Not then.”
 Bucky takes this in. He seems to be considering his next words far too carefully, and Steve wants to beg Bucky to tell him the truth. To confide in Steve.  To trust him.
 “What if…” Bucky trails off, unable or unwilling to go on.
 “What if what?”  Steve slides closer again.  He lets his knee nudge against Bucky’s, and Bucky doesn’t pull back.
 When Steve turns to him, Bucky looks as nervous as Steve has ever seen him, but Bucky takes a breath and forges on.  “What if I want it now?  To be found?” Bucky gazes at him, his gray eyes wide.
 Steve raises his hand, slowly, and pushes Bucky’s hair away from his face.  “Is that what you want?”
 Bucky nods, and presses his cheek into Steve’s palm.  “Yeah. I do.”  
 “So”- Steve breaks off, afraid to ask, but more afraid not to – “you’re here to stay?”
 “If you’ll have me.”  Bucky closes his eyes, maybe as scared as Steve.
 “Of course,” Steve answers quickly.  “Yes, yes, of course.”  Then he leans in, not giving himself any more time to think about it, and lets his lips meet Bucky’s.  It’s just a brush, barely a kiss, but Bucky presses back, and it sends fireworks down Steve’s spine.
 “Stevie,” Bucky breathes out, his hands coming up to frame Steve’s face as Steve reaches to draw Bucky closer.  Bucky’s reticence is gone, and he’s melting into Steve.  Bucky’s warm and safe and here, right here, curling up against Steve’s chest.  It’s everything Steve ever wanted.
 “Gonna have to update my new year’s resolution,” Steve says, tugging at Bucky’s waist until he shifts and swings a leg over Steve’s thighs.  Steve lets out a long breath, hardly able to focus as pleasure and disbelief surge through him in equal measure.
 “Why’s that?”  Bucky asks.  He tilts his head, adorably coy, and Steve quickly accepts the invitation, dotting kisses down his neck until Bucky lets out a low moan.
 Belatedly, Steve realizes he didn’t answer Bucky’s question, and he pulls back to find Bucky’s eyes. He can feel the grin stretching his cheeks, and he beams even wider when he sees an answering smile on Bucky’s face. “’Find Bucky’ doesn’t make much sense anymore.  Now it’ll have to be ‘make him obnoxiously happy.’”
 Bucky blushes, and guides Steve towards him for another tender kiss.  He’s smiling again when they break apart.  “Pretty sure you can check that one off your list, too,” Bucky says.
 Steve’s heart soars, and he tucks Bucky in close against him.  They kiss and murmur soft words, Steve still hardly believing that he has Bucky in his arms. He gives a delighted laugh, and Bucky starts, a slightly worried cast to his brow.
 “What’s so funny?”
 Steve sighs, nestling his head into Bucky’s neck and breathing him in.  “When I woke up this morning, I was just trying to get through the day. Now-” he looks up, running his thumb along Bucky’s swollen bottom lip, and gazing into his eyes, “now I’m actually going to have a happy new year.”
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sp00kymulderr · 6 years
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dO THEM ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL /EVIL LAUGH (??)/ uhm from the "let's talk about" post úwù 💗 I'm sorry I'm making you write so much but i really wanna know!!! ILYSM
ANYTHING FOR YOOOU!
There is a lot here, I’m apparently feeling very chatty tonight so sorry about some of the long ramble-y answers again:
1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
Itwas 2005, and 15 year old me had dragged my dad and brother to thecinema to see a movie that looked really interesting to me – itfeatured several badass women in the main cast at a time when Iwasn’t seeing much with actually strong, well written femalecharacters in. So I had to see this, and it was sci-fi which my wholefamily enjoys, so off we went to watch it. At the beginning, therewas a filmed intro of Joss Whedon talking about the movie and aboutthe TV series it came from, which I knew nothing about and thatworried me. But then the film started and I swear my heart stoppedfor a moment, I fell so deeply in love with the setting, thecharacters, the cast. The film was Serenity, and it started a lot forme
2: Talk about your first kiss.
Myfirst kiss wasn’t special like I wish it had been. I was about 14and it was with my best friend at the time, a guy who I had nofeelings towards whatsoever. I regret the kiss a lot, and the kissesthat followed. I wish I hadn’t felt pressured in to it the way Idid.
3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.
Idon’t really get intense feelings for people that often, especiallynot now I’m older. There was a guy when I was in secondary schoolthough, who I genuinely thought I loved (I didn’t). It was veryunrequited and took over my life for too long, and was a catalyst tothe depression I later suffered with.
4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
Partof me regrets going to uni, but then I think about all theexperiences I had at uni and I would never have had those, or madethose friends, or enjoyed myself that much anywhere else. I can’tthink of much that I really really regret, I tend to think thingsthrough a lot before I do them.
5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.
Iam the queen of good birthdays, istg! I ALWAYS go on holiday for mybirthday, have ever since I was young, so I have so many good ones.But I think it has to be between going to New York for my 21stor Berlin for my 23rd (my favourite place in the wholeworld), or this past birthday which I spent on my own in New Zealandand got to go to Hobbiton for the first time!
6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.
Ihave genuinely not had a bad birthday yet. This year would’ve beensad if I hadn’t gone to Hobbiton, as I was completely on my own forthe first birthday ever.
7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.
I’ma total mess of insecurities tbh. I wouldn’t know where to start.
8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.
In2012, when I left uni and moved to London on my own, I started a blogcalled The Theatre Tourist where I wrote about two of my biggestpassions; theatre and travel. A year after I started it, I got myfirst invite to review a theatre production which I accepted havingnever written a review. Once I wrote it, I knew this was what Iwanted to be doing, I fell completely in love with it. And to thisday I still run that blog, I have a fair few readers and connectionswith theatre PR’S all around the world. Currently I’m writing atleast a review a month for New Zealand theatre but when I was back inLondon I was being invited to at least 4 a week every week. I am soproud of that blog.
9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
Mytattoos. They make me feel better about myself because I find thembeautiful and they mean a lot to me.
10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.
Thatbest friend I mentioned earlier. He accused me of all sorts andcaused so much stupid drama in my life. We had a massive argument inthe hallway at school once, I ended up in tears in the bathroom andwe stopped talking to each other. He was a massive fucking jerk andI’m glad he’s not in my life any more.
11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.
Ihad a lot of great dreams just before I moved to New Zealand, aboutwhat a great time I was going to have out here, and they havedefinitely come true
12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.
Istress dream quite a lot, the most recent one was losing my family ina natural disaster and it was awful.
13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
Iwaited quite a while, so I was 18 when I lost it. It wasn’t perfectbut it was nice and with someone I liked at the time. It was, however, in a single bed which was AWFUL god. But other than that, there’s not much to talk about.
14: Talk about a vacation.
Whichone to choose though??? I love travelling and have been so lucky totravel a lot, I studied tourism and it’s always been a huge part ofmy life. That’s why I’m out here on this beautiful island in themiddle of nowhere right now.
15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.
Idon’t feel content a lot, but my first and subsequent 6 visits toBerlin have been the best I’ve ever felt in my whole life. Berlinis the one place I feel completely at home and know I belong.
16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.
Idon’t go to a lot of parties! And the ones I went to when I wasyounger, I don’t remember a lot of them… I went to a really funfoam party in my first year of uni that I always remember fondly iffuzzily.
18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.
Whichone is elementary? Primary I think? Jesus, who remembers primaryschool? I don’t think much exciting happened when I was that young!
19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.
Waitwhat’s middle school if the next question is high school? Do theyhave a school between primary and secondary in America? I’mCONFUSED
20: Talk about something that happened in high school.
Ohall sorts of shit.
21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.
Therewas this guy in college who I became pretty close friends with thenlater told me he really liked me. He was sweet but so not my type soI just said no and then he never spoke to me again lol
22: Talk about your worst fear.
Interms of an actual phobia, I’m really afraid of dogs. Which ispretty inconvenient, they make me panic.
23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.
Ugh,I got drunk at a work party and asked out a guy from IT I had beeneyeing up and he turned me down which is fair enough I was a messback then. But then I had to see him at work all the time and it wasso embarrassing for me.
24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
Justrecently I’ve been having a crisis about what I’m going to dowith my life once I get back to the UK next year, I want to get a jobI actually love as opposed to ending up in a shitty call centre jobhating my life again. But the other day my manager told me that shegenuinely believes I can do absolutely anything and be brilliant atit, and that just boosted my confidence so much.
26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.
Iusually try and just get on with things and don’t admit I’m sickunless it’s really bad. I hate sitting still, I need to be doingsomething all the time even when ill.
31: Talk about what you think death is like.
Scary?Death scares me, I can’t lie. I try not to think about it.
32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.
TheatreRoyal Bath, I associate so many good memories with this building.When I was a kid and first expressed an interest in Shakespeare mymum used to sometimes take me to see plays there. I started a massivething in me and it’s always a place that makes me feel happy.
33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.
Iput on music. Loud. Usually Bowie, because I know he will make mefeel better, he always does.
34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.
Ireally hope this doesn’t tempt fate, but as of yet I’ve onlyexperienced self inflicted pain. Never broken a bone or sprainedanything. Uhm so probably my first tattoo but even then that was a good pain for the most part.
35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
Beinganxious. Seriously, if I could control my anxiety or make itdissapear things would be so different.
38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.
Meand my dad share a fairly similar musical taste, and he was the onewho introduced me to all the musicians I love so deeply now.Specifically listening to Delilah by The Sensational Alex Harvey Bandmakes me think of him. With my mum, we both love Alice Cooper so anytime I hear him I think of her.
39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.
Iwish I’d known earlier that there’s no shame in ‘sleeping around’.I felt ashamed for a long time about my sexual habits, and got shamedfor them. I know now that it’s all bullshit and me being in controlof my sexuality is a good thing.
Ialso wish someone had told me that you’re allowed to have stops andstarts in your career, for years after uni I tried so hard to followa career path that wasn’t working for me but I thought I would be afailure if I gave up, or if I ended up doing something that didn’trelate to my degree. Even though I still struggle with the idea of acareer, I at least do know now that I am allowed to do whatever thehell I want whether I studied for it or not.
40: Talk about the end of something in your life.
In 2016 the West Endmusical Sunny Afternoon closed. By the time it closed I had seen it150 times, literally seeing it at the very least once a week for twowhole years. It changed me a lot – I became more confident, I madea group of the best friends I’ve ever had, I started a fan groupfor it and worked with the marketing team for the show on a socialmedia campaign. It was a HUGE part of my life. When the show closedit felt like the end of an era, I really didn’t know what I wasgoing to do without it. It meant so much to me. But now I have allthese great friends who still talk and hang out and I have two castsof actors whose careers I’ll be following for the rest of my life.
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michellelewis7162 · 4 years
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flowerfan2 · 7 years
Text
A Different Kind of Fireworks
Stucky, 2700 words, A03, post-CA:TWS
The holidays don’t dispel Steve’s loneliness… but a New Year’s day surprise does the trick.
---
“Come on, one more round,” Clint says, doing some silly thing with his eyebrows that makes Natasha grin.  Natasha and Bruce agree, and Steve sighs softly to himself as Clint deals the cards. Bruce had received a special superhero expansion deck for Cards Against Humanity for Christmas, and the group has been hanging out in the tower common room playing it whenever their more civilized presence wasn’t required.
This year’s holiday calendar has been much like the year before – a fancy fundraising party a few days before Christmas to show off the team, a sumptuous dinner just for the Avengers and their colleagues to encourage bonding, and then various PR events to take advantage of the good will of the holiday season.  Steve doesn’t mind it too much.  His favorite assignment this year was visiting kids at a children’s hospital ward.  Steve knows what it’s like to be too sick to enjoy Christmas.  He sometimes feels like he still is.
Because for all the jollity of the Avenger’s end of the year schedule, it rings false too often for Steve. He knows all about “found family,” and he’s grateful for the friendships he has formed over the past few years. Sam, in particular, has gone above and beyond, quietly supporting him as he spent months on a fruitless search for a ghost.  But there’s still something missing for Steve, and the festive chaos of the holidays does nothing to fill that space.  No amount of champagne served at black tie galas can make up for what Steve has lost.
 Steve shakes his head, trying to get a grip.  He has his health, a job that means something, people who care about him.  He thinks back to the little girl he met at the hospital, who seemed to want nothing more than to pelt him with questions about Iron Man (who was notably absent), able to ignore for at least a few minutes the fact that she probably won’t live to see the end of this new year. In comparison Steve’s life is no tragedy, and he wishes he could appreciate that fact.
 Pepper joins them, laughing for a few minutes at whatever ridiculousness Clint is peddling, and then hands them each a stack of shiny eight by tens to sign, thank you’s for donors who emptied their pockets at the New Year’s Eve charity dinner last night. “Sorry to disrupt your game,” Pepper says, not looking sorry at all.  “The holidays are over.  Time to get back to work.”
 Steve knows that signing glossy photos of himself holding his shield is objectively better than having to actually go out and throw his shield at bad guys, and yet after a week of enforced down time, he’s wishing for just a tiny bit of trouble.  Anything to get out of his own head.   It might help to go to the gym and work out some of his negativity.  Either that or schedule a one on one “coffee” with Sam to talk about why Steve is apparently incapable of enjoying the happiest time of the year.
 “Hey, do you happen to know when Tony’s coming back?”  Natasha asks, waving her silver marker at Pepper.  “I need him to invent a better pen.”
 “What, not pointy enough for you?”  Clint asks, holding his marker up and making stabby motions.  “Better be careful what you ask for.  Although,” Clint looks thoughtfully at his marker, “exploding pens would make this more interesting.”
 “He’s supposed to be home today,” Pepper responds, with a quick look at Steve.  He’s not sure what he’s got to do with Tony’s absence, or his reappearance, but he shrugs it off and goes back to signing photos.  Tony hasn’t filled Steve in on his current side mission, and it hadn’t occurred to Steve to be concerned.  Everyone is entitled to their own business.  Tony may be the worst at remembering that, but he deserves privacy just the same.
 Several hours later, after a low key New Year’s day dinner refreshingly free of cranberries or mulled cider or anything decorated in red and green, Tony makes his entrance.  He looks exhausted, still in the black long sleeved shirt and leggings he wears under his suit.
 Most of the group waves lazily from the table, shouting out greetings.  Tony nods and “happy new year’s” back at them, but he doesn’t sit down. Instead, he meets Steve’s eyes and motions him over.
 “Stark,” Steve says, joining Tony by the door.  “Everything okay?”
 Tony meets his eyes. “I think it will be.  You should go up to your floor.”
 Steve feels a shiver run through him at Tony’s guarded expression, and doesn’t bother to argue.  It takes no time at all to jog up the five flights of stairs to his quarters, and then Steve is standing outside his own door. Probably Tony has just got him some new toy, a coffee maker that doubles as a kiln, or some other modern day nonsense. No reason to get excited.
 But Steve can’t help the fact that his heart is beating hard in his chest.  When he opens the door and steps inside, he gasps for breath, as if the serum never entered his blood.
 There’s a man standing by the window, looking out over the city.  It’s dark in the room, lit only by the lights on the tree, but there’s no question in Steve’s mind who it is.
 “Bucky,” he breathes out, and the man turns.  He’s broader in the shoulders than the boy Steve knew, and his hair is still long, like the last time Steve saw him.  Steve strides forward, then stops himself when the man tenses.
 “Sorry, sorry-”  Steve puts his hands up, then clasps them together, almost in prayer, to keep himself from reaching out.  “Bucky.  Are – are you – you?  Do you remember…?”
 “More or less,” the man says, and Steve is so relieved that Bucky is responding to his name, with none of that heartbreaking “who the hell is Bucky” crap, that he can almost breathe again.
 “Oh my god, Bucky,” Steve says, “thank god.  Thank god.”
 “Not sure he had much to do with it,” Bucky replies.  
 Steve would laugh at the wry humor in Bucky’s voice, if his throat wasn’t tight enough to sob.  “No?”
 “Not unless he’s come back as Stark.”
 Suddenly it all makes sense – the sneaking around, the side mission, the look from Pepper.  Steve may need to seriously reevaluate how he feels about Tony.   “Tony found you?”  
 Bucky grunts, as if insulted by the idea.  “I let him arrange a meet.  He had information I needed.  Some offshoot HYDRA assholes were ramping up to frame me, use me for some awful plan.”
 Suddenly Steve’s stomach sinks.  Bucky isn’t here for him.  He’s not actually coming home, coming back to Steve.  He’s just avoiding capture.  Outsmarting HYDRA.
 “Okay,” Steve says, trying to find something to say that doesn’t reveal his disappointment. “That’s um, that’s good.  That Tony helped, I mean, he can definitely be helpful sometimes.  And that you, um, got away.  From HYDRA. Or, whoever.”
 Bucky doesn’t seem to be listening to him anymore, which isn’t surprising given the dreck that’s coming out of his mouth.  He’s looking around the room, with nothing on his face giving away any shred of emotion, until his eyes land on the Christmas tree.
 “Kind of narcissistic, isn’t it?  Ornaments of yourself?”
 Steve feels his face flush. “Tony got them for all of us.” The tree is decorated with little mini-Avengers in holiday colors, as well as sparkly little shields for Steve, sharp arrows for Clint, horrifying spiders for Nat, and so on.
 “You’re friends, then,” Bucky says.  “With these people.”
 “They’re my team.”  
 Bucky doesn’t comment further, and doesn’t move, just stays there, eyes looking somewhere just past Steve’s shoulder.  At attention, Steve thinks.  The literal opposite of at ease.  Get your head out of your ass and help him, Steve thinks, and swiftly readjusts his attitude.
 “Bucky, please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable.”  He waves at the couch, and Bucky comes a little closer and takes a seat in the corner.  He’s wearing a leather jacket and a dark red shirt that strains across his chest, worn jeans and black work boots.  “Can I get you something to eat?”
 Bucky’s eyes flash up at him, wary, and Steve tries to make his body relax.  There’s no danger here, he tries to project.  Not from me.  Not ever from me.
 Steve moves into his little kitchen, still visible from the living area, and opens the refrigerator. “How about roast beef?”
 “Sure.”
 Steve occupies himself for a few minutes, cutting thick slices of the rye bread Tony has delivered from his favorite deli, piling it high with roast beef and sharp cheddar cheese.   “Do you want some root beer?  I’ve got that, or orange juice, or water...”
 Bucky doesn’t respond, so Steve opens a bottle of root beer and brings it over, setting it down with the sandwich on the coffee table.
 Bucky frowns at the single plate.  “You’re not going to eat?”  Steve wonders if he’s remembering all the times they struggled to put food on the table. He thinks he is, when Bucky takes half his sandwich and holds it out to Steve.
 It doesn’t matter that Steve’s been living in the lap of luxury since he joined the Avengers, it’s the best sandwich he’s had in years.
 They eat in silence, Steve joining Bucky on the couch.  He leaves plenty of space between them, until he reaches over to steal a long sip of Bucky’s soda.  Again, Bucky tenses, but Steve thinks he lets it go a little faster this time.  In any case, Bucky gives him a little almost grin and swipes the bottle back from Steve without missing a beat.
 “So, where’ve you been?” Steve finally asks.  He hopes this is a fairly safe topic of conversation, and forgive him, but he’s damn curious.
 “All around,” Bucky replies. “I’ve got a few different spots in Europe that I mostly move between.  I was in Bucharest, the last few weeks.  Got a little too comfortable.”
 Steve tilts his head inquiringly and Bucky goes on.
 “I went to the Christmas market.  You know, stalls with candles and funnel cakes, live music playing.  I think I was spotted.”
 Steve doesn’t like to think about the life Bucky’s been living, where just trying to enjoy himself for an evening risks his life.  Hopefully whatever Stark came up with is more than a short-term solution.  Knowing Stark, it probably is – the man doesn’t do anything halfway.
 Steve notices Bucky glance down at his empty plate, and his manners kick back in.  “Want another sandwich?”
 Bucky quickly shakes his head.  “No, I’m good.”
 “Cookie?  Glass of milk?”
 Bucky smiles.  “Stark calls you an old man, you know.  He doesn’t realize you’ve been like this your whole life.  See your guy for the first time in years, and offer him cookies and milk.  Smooth.”
 Steve feels almost faint with it, the realization that this really is Bucky, the only person in the world that knows the real Steve Rogers.  And he doesn’t miss “your guy,” dropped into the sentence as if it meant nothing.  He wants to throw his arms around Bucky and never let him go.  “God damn it, Bucky, I am so incredibly happy to see you.”
 Bucky bites his lip, his expression almost shy.  “Are you?”
 “Bucky.”  Steve draws in a deep breath, and slides a little closer to Bucky on the couch.  “I couldn’t be happier.  Nothing, nothing could make me happier.”
 “I wasn’t sure,” Bucky says, looking down at his knees.  “Stark said, but…”
 Steve tries to calm the butterflies in his stomach, but he can’t hold back the question.  “Buck, did you come here to avoid being framed, or to see me?”
 Bucky narrows his eyes at Steve.  “Come on, pal.  D’ya think this is the only place in the world I could hide from HYDRA’s crook of the month?”
 “But – I searched for you. Me and Sam – for months.”
 “Yeah,” Bucky says, returning his gaze to his lap.  “And then you stopped.”
 It hits Steve like a blow, although he knows that it was the right thing to do at the time.  He was needed, and Bucky knew where to find him. Still, knowing that Bucky wondered even a little, that Steve hurt him by his decision, is painful.
 “And I get it,” Bucky says, setting his jaw.  “You got everything you could ever want.”  He gestures at the room.  
 Steve thinks that now isn’t the time to get into precisely why Bucky is full of shit, and he guesses that Bucky wouldn’t really hear it, anyway.  He probably doesn’t even believe it, if he remembers Steve the way he seems to. “Sam said if you wanted us to find you, we would have,” Steve says softly.  “I think he was right.  You clearly didn’t want us to find you.  Not then.”
 Bucky takes this in. He seems to be considering his next words far too carefully, and Steve wants to beg Bucky to tell him the truth. To confide in Steve.  To trust him.
 “What if…” Bucky trails off, unable or unwilling to go on.
 “What if what?”  Steve slides closer again.  He lets his knee nudge against Bucky’s, and Bucky doesn’t pull back.
 When Steve turns to him, Bucky looks as nervous as Steve has ever seen him, but Bucky takes a breath and forges on.  “What if I want it now?  To be found?” Bucky gazes at him, his gray eyes wide.
 Steve raises his hand, slowly, and pushes Bucky’s hair away from his face.  “Is that what you want?”
 Bucky nods, and presses his cheek into Steve’s palm.  “Yeah. I do.”  
 “So”- Steve breaks off, afraid to ask, but more afraid not to – “you’re here to stay?”
 “If you’ll have me.”  Bucky closes his eyes, maybe as scared as Steve.
 “Of course,” Steve answers quickly.  “Yes, yes, of course.”  Then he leans in, not giving himself any more time to think about it, and lets his lips meet Bucky’s.  It’s just a brush, barely a kiss, but Bucky presses back, and it sends fireworks down Steve’s spine.
 “Stevie,” Bucky breathes out, his hands coming up to frame Steve’s face as Steve reaches to draw Bucky closer.  Bucky’s reticence is gone, and he’s melting into Steve.  Bucky’s warm and safe and here, right here, curling up against Steve’s chest.  It’s everything Steve ever wanted.
 “Gonna have to update my new year’s resolution,” Steve says, tugging at Bucky’s waist until he shifts and swings a leg over Steve’s thighs.  Steve lets out a long breath, hardly able to focus as pleasure and disbelief surge through him in equal measure.
 “Why’s that?”  Bucky asks.  He tilts his head, adorably coy, and Steve quickly accepts the invitation, dotting kisses down his neck until Bucky lets out a low moan.
 Belatedly, Steve realizes he didn’t answer Bucky’s question, and he pulls back to find Bucky’s eyes. He can feel the grin stretching his cheeks, and he beams even wider when he sees an answering smile on Bucky’s face. “’Find Bucky’ doesn’t make much sense anymore.  Now it’ll have to be ‘make him obnoxiously happy.’”
 Bucky blushes, and guides Steve towards him for another tender kiss.  He’s smiling again when they break apart.  “Pretty sure you can check that one off your list, too,” Bucky says.
 Steve’s heart soars, and he tucks Bucky in close against him.  They kiss and murmur soft words, Steve still hardly believing that he has Bucky in his arms. He gives a delighted laugh, and Bucky starts, a slightly worried cast to his brow.
 “What’s so funny?”
 Steve sighs, nestling his head into Bucky’s neck and breathing him in.  “When I woke up this morning, I was just trying to get through the day.  Now-” he looks up, running his thumb along Bucky’s swollen bottom lip, and gazing into his eyes, “now I’m actually going to have a happy new year.”
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