#i wish i was there to say goodbye to her | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

avionvadion · 7 months

Text

Just watched Ghibli’s Tale of Princess Kaguya.

That was emotionally devastating. Thanks.

#show up for the cuteness and stay for the emotional damage!!!#tale of Princess Kaguya #studio ghibli #anyways I wish the handmaiden had a name she and the mom were the MVPs of this movie #handmaiden straight up gave her bestie the chance to say goodbye when the gods wouldn’t #also the mom being the narrator is DEVASTATING

71 notes · View notes

geddy-leesbian · 8 days

Text

on top of this being the anniversary of the most traumatic day of my life which was followed by 6 weeks I was homeless and had a variety of traumatic things happen, we also got

me being due for my depo shot which means I will cry over things that are not worth crying about (the best example is probably the time I thought we had a frozen spaghetti meal in the freezer and started sobbing when it wasn't there)

finding out my estranged sister violated her probation (it's a long story) and even though I wouldn't have expected to have strong feelings about it it's still somehow like

my mom's dad might be dying (I haven't seen him since I was very young so I don't view him as much more than "my mom's dad" and saying he's my grandpa wouldn't feel right to me even if it's technically correct) and it's like the thing with my sister where it's not something I would expect to have feelings about but still do

We went into our apartment complex's office to renew our lease and they said they'd email us all the lease stuff to sign online earlier this week and it's probably nothing but anxiety brain go brrrrrrrr they're not going to renew it and you'll be homeless again!!!!

I truly feel like Luis Serra in this moment:

the bear trap is last years trauma, the ganado is everything more recent

#but wish them well has been my primary therapy song. especially bc im thinking abt my sister again. i miss having a sister. i miss having #nephews. i cant say i miss having a niece bc she was a baby i only met once before everything imploded. but im sad abt not knowing her #i miss having who i thought was a genuinely good person for a bil #and sometimes i just think abt WHY. why was my pos dad and his family more important to her than the safety of her mom and siblings #why did she sit back and watch my dad destroy my mom's life and by extension mine and my younger sibling's #so i rlly need the ''even the lost ones you can only give up on. even the ones that make you burn. thank your stars youre not that way. tur #your back and walk away. dont even pause and ask them why. turn around and say goodbye.''#and ofc the ''even though youre going through hell JUST KEEP ON GOING. let the demons dweeellll JUST WISH THEM WELL''#is always good

11 notes · View notes

floral-hex · 6 months

Text

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void #shits rough dawg #I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts #haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier #it’s cold #saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours #guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left #even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are #I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh #my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week #maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting #woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside #hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning #can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience #anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments #I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now #ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever #you can ignore this #text

15 notes · View notes

supersecretnerd · 3 months

Text

Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

#goodbye volcano high #i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me #like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that #its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go #well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters #i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out #also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮‍💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they #the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through #detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross #i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real #oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing #apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games #but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute #all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome #also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real #also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor #which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles #first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her #also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for #i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit

10 notes · View notes

brontios-helm · 8 months

Text

Destiny 2: After My Own Heart

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 gif #mara sov #mara sov gif #riven #riven of a thousand voices #riven gif #spirit's anchor #destiny 2 spirit's anchor #season of the wish spoilers #season of the wish #destiny 2 spoilers #it's really bittersweet saying goodbye to her #I imagine especially for Mara #bungie #destiny 2 pc

13 notes · View notes

funnywormz · 1 year

Text

i rewatched snw s1ep10 earlier and i had completely forgotten that hemmer only gets the gorn venom/eggs sprayed on him bc he literally jumps in the way to protect uhura :'-)

#HE LOVED HER SO MUCH im gonna cry #i love their friendship so much and im glad he at least got to say goodbye to her properly and wish her well for the future #star trek #snw #hemmer #nyota uhura

48 notes · View notes

hauntingblue · 6 months

Text

NAMI NEEDS TO GO UP THERE AND FIGHT BIG MOM I AM SO SERIOUS!!! THIS IS A BATTLE FOR THE ROMANCE DOWN TRIO!! SANJI DO NOT DARE TAKE HER SPOT!!!

#big mom just giving birth here on the battlefield.....#do i comment on the incestuous relationship between clouds made of the same soul??? no?? okay...#oh jesus.... goodbye kid and killer.... nami needs to get up there and take control of zeus and i am so serious #HER SKILL IS SO POWERFUL AND SO PERFECT FOR THIS FIGHT AGAINST BIG MOM BUT BECAUSE SHE IS NOT PART OF THE STRONG TRIO SHE GETS STUCK WITH #THE B LIST VILLAINS!!!! LKKE WHY DOES SHE NEED TO FIGHT ULTI?? OKAY THAT WAS MEANINGFUL BUT THAT COULD END THERE!!!!#SANJI GO FIGHT PAGE ONE!!! SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF ULTI AND LET LUFFY ZORO AND NAMI TAKE CARE OF KAIDO AND BIG MOM!!! I AM SERIOUS!!!#big mom is inside the castle.... maybe i will get my wish granted (kinda...)#kid and nami against big mom.... maybe sanji can join... i can see it so clearly.... come on now.....#if namo knew armor haki she would have gone up there and taken zeus and dealt with prometheus and his sister wife. let the others w/ big mom #fucking hawkins... end him killer.... calling him domesticated lmao... end his pathetic ass #using conqueror's haki on the weapons..... also zoro having it too.... the flower petals symbolism..... OHHHHHHHHH #nani indeed...... BREAK THAT MACE!!!! YEAAHHH!!!! law is completely baffled #KAIDO GOT SENT BACK!!!! LETSGOOOOO AND THE OG INTRO MUSIC QUICKS IN!!!! law just saw god again....#he said fuck off i got this.... omg.... he is either gonna nearly die and doesn't want them to follow or doesn't want to worry about them #while he fights and they try to defend him.... no other explaination (apart for 4 the plot reasons)#talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1028 #luffy king of everything that was such a slay #they changed luffy chiquito's design....#i was gonna say luffy swimming...... but he can't yet akdhajsj #yasopp taking care of everyones children but his own...... i see how it is....#WHY WOULD SHANKS STAY IN GOA IF NOT TO TALK WITH GARP WHO LIVES THERE!!! I AM TELLING YOU SHANKS IS IN KAHOOTS WITH THE MARINES!!!!#i was thinking about shanks scar... and thought it might be from buggy with his three knives in between his fingers you know #but it is too small... like the knives would take more space.... but maybei might be reaching and it is from buggy and not like a little paw #or little hand.... however much distrubing you want to paint it....#shanks is testing little luffy's intelligence... he knows his weak spot already akdhjasj #uta calling herself a diva.... ajshaksn might this be the reason luffy was so inclined to having a musician since the start???#episode 1029 #that was like a perfectly realistic relationship between an older smartass girl and a younger boy lmao it was spot on

10 notes · View notes

to-sock-or-not-to-sock · 1 year

Text

playing spiritfarer is just like haha what if i cried my eyes out right now wouldn't that be funny

#spiritfarer #i miss atul so much #i wish i had gotten a goodbye with him #i mean i guess it fits his personality that we don't get (have) to take him to the everdoor but it's still heartbreaking #every single time #i know what happens every fucking time and i'm still sitting there with tears running down my cheeks bc i didn't get to say goodbye #giovanni too #i don't know why or how i love him so much but it hurts every time i take him to the door #and also astrid #astrid's one of my favorites #i miss her so much #sometimes i go and look at all their records and then i go back to whatever i'm doing

18 notes · View notes

sangre · 11 months

Text

cannot explain how profoundly miserable i am. but homura was right that even this pain is proof of love 😔

#i have to say goodbye to the puppy i adopted for only a week because my something scary happened in my house #and family members who live with me can no longer handle being with an animal so in theory today is my last day with her #i'm mostly explaining it here bc i can't stand to say it over and over again it's too sad #and if i'm MIA or spotty or anything it's because i'm trying to keep afloat and it's already insane just doing that #please cross your fingers and wish the best for her. i know she will find someplace loving.#why is the end of the year always such a time of heartbreak GJBKHDSF. wack

10 notes · View notes

sainteddie · 2 months

Text

*insert trauma dump here*

#starting to mentally prepare to maybe actually go home next week if nothing has changed here #and like? i’m half at peace with it… because i know my mom isn’t herself anymore #but.. she’s not actually gone yet…#and how do i say goodbye to someone i’m already grieving #and like.. it’s not going to be the goodbye i wished i’d gotten with her at this point #because i think she thought she had more time for those conversations #but her pain got so bad so fast and now she spends 24/7 on fentanyl.#which has taken what little there was left of her with it #and i’m so deeply sad because i know she wouldn’t want this #but we’re all literally being forced to wait for her liver to give out #anyway.. this was supposed to be about possibly going home but haha ✌🏽

6 notes · View notes

f1-disaster-bi · 2 months

Text

It's my aunt's birthday tomorrow, and I'm watching her birthday mass through a live stream just wishing I could be there for my cousins, Nan and Mam, and even more so that she was still here and I could hug her again

#i wish i had gotten the chance to say goodbye #i miss her and granda every day #i know she wouldnt want us to be sad but god i fucking miss her laugh

5 notes · View notes

anaalnathrakhs · 3 months

Text

i know it's not like i'm the most affected by the situation, but i wish idk i wish that i didn't have to direct my whole behavior to be my mom's emotional support dog so she can feel she's a good project manager and at least someone understands her side and listens to her good advice. which admittedly my uncle is being particularly difficult in this whole situation, bc it's always complicated, but also christ maybe it was your mom but it was also my grandma. one day you tell me "what you two had was really special" and the next you don't even let me have a moment alone with her. like god. you saw her yesterday. you could've left me a minute with her or something. you could've refrained from putting your gross ass arm around my shoulders like why do you absolutely cannot resist ruining every important moment in my life? i want to be as helpful as possible for her in this very difficult time, but NOT EVEN FIVE MINUTES. not even five minutes could she stand letting me handle how I want to grieve MY own grandmother.

#it just feels like i'll never have closure #like i'll never get to say goodbye #and i can't say anything because i'm not going to tell anyone how to greive their mother #and if she needs me there then i'll be there it's. whatever.#but god #tomorrow and sunday: weekend. have to spend it with my parents.#monday: school. maybe i can try to visit the funerarium with the bus if i have time but. i don't know. it's so scary.#i'll have to squeeze a visit between school and the time i need to be home and i just wish i didn't have this fucking dreadful perspective #and this equally dreadful memory #hanging over every second i could spend there #tuesday: burial. we'll see her before they close the casket but there'll be lots of people it's just. gross.#i mean i'll go but it's not the same #it's nothing like what it should've been #i feel awful #you can't even let me have one last good memory of her #a peaceful time instead of having to take a wild guess about what you need this second and managing your emotions #she expects a certain behavior from me and i don't even fucking know what it is #i mean yeah it means i should be like i was when i was six and my grandpa died #i should cry and scream and be a crisis situation to manage and cry about together #sorry i haven't molded myself to be exactly what you need #broadcasting my misery #vent

3 notes · View notes

acourtofquestions · 5 months

Text

Please for the love of Wyrd tell me Celaena actually gets to say “I love you” to Sam at least once.

#I cannot handle another Nessian situation #or the ol’ I love y— Lincoln Campbell goodbye again (so help me Wyrd)#Celaena Sardothien x Sam Cortland #Sam Cortland x Celaena Sardothien #Celaena x Sam #Sam x Celaena #Sam Cortland #Celaena Sardothien #the Assassin’s Blade #the Assassin and the Underworld #the Assassin and the Empire #Adarlans Assassins #Maasverse #TOG #first read #reading reacts #reactions while reading #he’s said I love you #and practically vowed forever #and she’s kissed him and literally given him her heart (or a piece of spider silk cut to save his heart)#and Chaol’s whole “I love you I’m sorry bit already hurt enough #don’t even get me started on the fact the final novela begins with after #how painful is the story when the writer spends three books warning you it does not end happy #and still again and again and again we fall for the tale #why do I keep playing Hadestown #and please someone what is their ship name lol #fangirl problems #I love them too much #they deserve better #I’m not saying their perfect I’m just saying they are happy and hopeful and it fits the arc but I still wish the happy ending was part of it

2 notes · View notes

outeremissary · 5 months

Text

I'm so serious when I say that 110% of the reason I sometimes think I should pick up Wrath again is to continue to feed the delusion of the beautiful Meet Me in the Woods video in my head I have had since September 2021. I could do it I'm fully capable of doing it there's no reason I couldn't do it if I tried <- the delusion talking

#the darkness got a hold on me :)#rambling #listening to it again to be back in touch with the vision. say goodbye to who I was. yeah. that's the vibe for her #I miss being really lost in the aeon sauce that was fun. wish that was its own dedicated game #if anyone has suggestions of other games I'm all ears

2 notes · View notes

skrunksthatwunk · 5 months

Text

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

4 notes · View notes

scattered-winter · 1 year

Text

.

#the worst part about all this is that i Literally saw her 2 weeks ago. we didnt have time to talk we just said hi and went our separate ways #i never even got to say goodbye to her.#and i didnt even know i needed to because this was all so fucking sudden. she was my age. healthy. etc #life is really fucking fragile huh. like it can be gone just like that.#im sorry im just.#i was super close with her mom too and i want to idk. text her or something. but what the fuck can i even say??#and my other friends in that friend group are all unavailable rn for one reason or another #like. no contact in another country kind of unavailable #so im just. do they even know. has anyone told them. or will they find out when they come back.#i still cant even wrap my head around it tbh. its just. she was alive this morning. she was alive. this morning.#hh. anyway.#i called my sister and cried to her a little bit which was nice. but fuck i really really wish i could hug her right now #or cuddle my dog. literally anything.#im going to be such a fucking mess tomorrow oh my god #i dont even want to go to sleep tonight because if i see her in my dreams im going to fucking lose it #i dont know. i dont fucking know.#winter speaks #personal #tw death #grief tag #<- i fucking guess. i might be venting more in the next few weeks so ill at least make it easy to blacklist

10 notes · View notes