#i worked on this for a whole week which really is just absolute bonkers

[sinterblackwell]

oscars 2022 (book ver.)

there were a lot of books i read this year, a majority of them ones i really enjoyed. even so, it wasn’t that difficult to put together my top ten favorite reads, but i felt very uncomfortable with not getting to talk about books outside that range that still affected me a great deal. so!! this list helps me with that!!

a booktuber (@/Tori Morrow; highly recommend watching their videos, especially if you’re a big fan of sci-fi/fantasy since that’s majorly what they read and talk about) introduced me to this end-of-year activity where i could talk about these books that still stood out to me, even if they didn’t make it to the top 10. i think having trouble wrangling a certain # of stories into a list when you’ve read up to 135 is pretty valid but yeah!!

let the 2022 oscars (book ver.) commence!!

warning: this post is really long :’)

best supporting actress:

- martha wolf from “self-made boys” by anna-marie mclemore

“People always find something wrong with how much or how little women are doing,” Martha said. “We don’t do as much as they think we should, we’re boring or frigid. If we do more than they think we should, we’re easy or fast. There’s no winning. So I kiss exactly as many or as few girls as i want.”

aka my gay awakening. while she’s not the most major side character in this great gatsby retelling, she still has her lines, and she still has a big effect on the story that jumps the gun at times. as sparse as her scenes were with nicolás and gatsby, when she did show up, she always threw me for a loop because i was crushing on her hard lol (still am). also her voice added to the overall message of the novel set during a time where living loud & lavish was the big move but if you were too loud or too honest, you were a pariah. all the rules & expectations are so muddled in their idiocy that even gatsby complains about it, and he’s the one who appears to live the most lavishly of them all!!

but yeah, martha’s character really stood out to me, and the conversations she had with nicolás specifically were phenomenal so i don’t care if she’s seen as more minor compared to daisy or jordan, she’s my supporting character.

best supporting actor:

- alim from “you made a fool of death with your beauty” by akwaeki emezi

“Imagine that, Feyi. We’re alive, and I love you.”

alim will forever go down in literary history as one of the best romantic heroes to date, and it’s all just in how sincere and beautiful his presence in this story is. the moment feyi first lays her eyes on him, there’s this immediate attraction, which just stirs up a lot of trouble and believe me, there is a big storm coming for sure. but alim’s presence in this story is like a steady hand through those rocky waves and he doesn’t just make feyi feel that rush of feeling alive, he makes her feel comfortable in just getting to be in the quiet of the storm, because she knows he’ll always be right there with her if she lets him.

the connection that he & feyi have together when it came to both of them experiencing grief over a lost partner is incredibly profound, and i just loved so much how in a story that was solely in feyi’s pov, we still got to learn so much about alim and see so much of him. the way his love language isn’t just cooking the most heavenly meals, but through his incredible way with words, and how natural and peaceful it feels having him by your side, he’s such a force to be reckoned with.

i wish i could see more of him & feyi, and i wish their romance could’ve gotten the attention it deserved by making it to the finals in the 2022 goodreads choice awards. it was a big big snub to me, but hopefully to heal some of the wounds, their story being mentioned on my part here gives some attention.

best cinematography:

- “city of speed” by alex london

Drakopolis was like one of those dolls that you opened to find a smaller doll inside, and then a smaller doll inside that one, and on and on. You could live your whole life in the city and still discover strange and terrifying new things inside it every day. It was unsettling, Abel thought, but also a little exciting. It was hard to be bored in Drakopolis.

my reading journey with the battle dragons series is one that feels so epic, and yet it also feels so lonely, because no one ever really talks about this middle grade series, and that breaks my heart.

this cyperpunk fantasy with racing dragons and powerful gangs and such immersive storytelling isn’t on a lot of people’s radar and that feels so wrong to me.

one of the best things about it, and especially with this second book here, is how vivid this world feels, how bright & gritty & expansive it is. this story only takes place in this single city called Drakopolis, but it has such a wide impact that it feels like you’re seeing so much of what the author has to offer. the underground races that are considered illegal, the glittering signs of the city and the black markets that sell a vast range of items—all of it so descriptive in this book here that i could see it so clearly in my head, and i loved it a lot.

i loved how cinematic the story felt, and so sweet, and so for that, that’s why i feel it best deserves the winning praise for this category here. hopefully in the future, more readers can see that as well.

best original screenplay:

- “dark room etiquette” by robin roe

If he’s alive, I’ll read his thoughts. If he’s dead, I’ll summon his ghost. Tell me, Daniel, what present do you want?

The big one.

this category speaks to a story that was crafted in a way that makes it stand out, its structure manipulated so as to mimic the story itself. for this book, the start of it felt so monotonous and as if the main character was living in a bubble that was fit to burst. it felt very reminscent of jake from “the taking of jake livingston” by ryan douglass, which garnered some mixed reviews because of how flat the main character read at the beginning. both ya, one horror & one thriller—what both roe & douglass did with these stories was they wrote their characters like that on purpose so that when the tone of the story did shift, when the characters were forced to react to what was happening to them and to those around them, you as the reader were confronted with their break in reality.

it was astonishing to witness how the authors crafted these characters’ surroundings as a nod to how it may have felt for both of them living in a society that acts so completely fake at times and demands conformity but then when there’s a shift, it’s as if the walls fall all around them.

“dark room etiquette” was such a phenomenal read that deserves so much more praise for its writing and the character work as we observe the three different stages of sader’s life that changes him fundamentally. the way he molds itself when the situation calls for it and is left misshapen because he doesn’t have any real sense of his own identity was just…something else, and it made the last quarter of the book so meaningful once he learned how to try & fit back inside himself. but first, he has to reckon with all the trauma he’s endured as other characters and their traumas are also given a spotlight.

best new author (debut or new to me):

- freydís moon

“It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” - “with a vengeance”

for this category, i’m cheating just a tad because one of this author’s works is present in my top 10, but i think when your new favorite authors from this year all have a place in your top 10 list, it goes to show how much they deserve to be considered for this category. the reason why i chose this one as the winner here is because i feel i don’t talk about this author nearly enough.

moon’s social media presence (freydísmoon on insta, freydis_moon on twitter) means the world to me as i watch them promote their writing and also open my eyes to a new genre of literature where erotica meets a holiness like no other, and their descriptions of worship as their characters reclaim their bodies for themselves completely takes your breath away. i feel an immense sentimentality for the fact that the characters of exodus 20:3 and with a vengeance are latine, and so the representation is even more powerful because the latine community have our own kind of relationships to the Catholic faith and how our identities can be disconnected from family.

each of moon’s books have such different tones but share similar threads that as a reader, is so completely beautiful because it’s such a versatile experience. with with a vengeance being the one with the most anger & violence, it’s amazing seeing moon release three kings a couple months after, a cozy fantasy set in a small seaside town that has its own power with the forces of magic and exploration of fertility. their writing is like complete chaos but it’s a welcome one that i’m so thankful to have found, and i’m really excited for their new release set to come in early february as i know it’ll be absolutely everything.

best ensemble cast:

- the characters of “fragile remedy” by maria ingrande mora

Keep going, Pixel. Keep going.

i have a very soft spot for this small group who are forced to live out in the Withers, a ravaged wasteland left abandoned after an illness swept through society and tore these characters down into drug-ridden spaces as those with much more power built their own utopia.

while the narrative of the story is mainly told through the eyes of nate, his little found family and the other characters he attaches himself to are bigger than life and make their own home in this dystopian society where it’s every life for themselves. the difference though, is that this group stick together, and in this broken society that leaves others high & dry, sticking together in a group is probably the smartest choice so as to not simply fade away.

there’s one character, specifically, in this ensemble, whose relationship with nate i absolutely adore, and it was such a heartbreaking dynamic that is so unconventional but is a product of how broken this society has gotten. alden & nate’s connection is very significant to me, and is one i’ll never forget; it pains me that not more readers know about these characters at all, but i’m just glad for now i discovered this story the way i did, which was completely by chance.

best book i haven’t read yet:

- “the midnight girls” by alicia jaskinska

i love this category because the pressure i feel to read this book is so strong with how quickly i knew it deserves this spot here.

i really really have to read this book soon. i had the perfect opportunity to read this story of monsters back in october for the halloween season, and if not then, then just reading it during the fall would’ve been fine. but no, now we’re in winter where currently the temperatures are below freezing in my area, and i am barely holding on. i’m certain that with zosia’s comfort in the cold and ice of winter, reading this book in january would be another good opportunity.

whenever i do read this story, i know it’ll be so fun, and so interesting as well because the writing i could already tell is beautiful as hell, and it’s so wicked these characters. i can already feel the anticipation for something guaranteed to be five stars by how good its premise is, so i just need to hop on quick.

best director:

- ryan la sala for “the honeys”

what i like about this category is that “best director” isn’t simply dedicated to an author who had the best writing or whatever. there were a lot of authors i met this year whose stories went in all different directions that took me to some extreme highs & lows, it was mind-numbing as hell. but what this category is really spoken for is when it comes to a certain type of writer who just really took the story to a whole new level that left you completely boggled.

originally, this category felt best directed towards tal bauer with “stars”, whose direction of the story was books in the making and because of that, it felt so much more epic than ever. but since i wanted to exclusively highlight some books that weren’t included in my top 10 favorite reads list, ryan la sala’s debut horror novel was the best contender for this position.

the writing in this ya is so surreal and deadly in its descriptions of an atmospheric setting glowing with light but that is rooted in strange visions and manipulative strings. it’s a compliment i don’t shut up about and never will because the fact that it was so surreal made the direction it went towards in its ending absolutely bonkers, and i still can’t quite wrap my head around it after the two months i’ve read it since.

what i can say is that i very much look forward to more of what this author has planned next in their writing career because it’s clear they have their own visions that on paper will blow readers’ minds, and i’m totally here for it.

best actress:

- mina rahman from “a show for two” by tashie bhuiyan (runner up: cherry neita from “the princess trap” by talia hibbert)

I wish for happiness in whatever form it might be.

tashie bhuiyan has quickly solidified herself to be one of my utmost favorite ya authors because of how much i absolutely adore her main characters. with only two books under her belt, bhuiyan has swept me away with not just some of the sweetest ya romances i’ve ever read, but also some of the most wonderful & hard-hitting narrators that i’ve met. karina from counting down with you meant so much to me when i was reading her story last year in 2021, and now this year i got to read mina’s, and it made me cry just as much as i did last year, if not a little more.

karina’s story filled me with a lot of anxiety because of how much pressure was building on her shoulders due to her desperate need to please her parents who have such high & unattainable expectations for her—and i say unattainable because it means it would cut away at karina’s happiness, and she would have to lose parts of herself in order to make them happy. for mina, she’s much more defiant with her parents, much more poised when it came to holding her head up high against her parents’ disgust of her attitude and just her presence in general. her defiance isn’t one that stems from acting like your usual stubborn & rebellious teenager, but rather one who’s had to grow up way too fast on her own and has had to fight to get what she wants no matter what. her parents have shamed her so much for her dreams and have tried to make her feel stupid for wanting to make it big in film and believing that she does have that chance. to see such a strong character try to beat back against those low expectations but then have moments where they still get so tired, it was incredibly difficult.

i think one of the hardest things about tashie bhuiyan’s stories up to this point is the very very toxic relationship that the main characters have with their parents. the pure shame & disappointment these adult figures hassle on their eldest daughters, even if it’s portrayed in different ways, it is such a heavy & emotional experience to read about. i’ve been made aware how it’s this portrayal that mixes up a lot of readers because of the stigma that it reinforces of how Muslim families interact. i can’t speak on the Muslim representation, i just really connected a lot to karina & mina, and i wished so much for their happiness because i believed so much in them as other characters believed in them, too—what was most important was seeing them get to believe in themselves and their aspirations, and it was a hard journey to get there. i feel very very protective of these characters, and this is one of those instances where i won’t stand for any backlash against them, especially mina, because i’m of the strong belief that they deserve none of it, and that is that on that.

the reason why i added cherry here from the princess trap as like the “runner up” is because she was just such a fun & sweet character that is partly what made my first talia hibbert book such a memorable experience. the way that she’s so confident in herself and her style is what draws the eye of other characters, especially ruben, and i was absolutely obsessed with how obsessed they were with her because she really is that character. her presence in the story was so mystifying but she wasn’t some mirage, this was all her, she was real & she was stunning as hell. she’s very relatable and she’s one of those fictional characters i wish i could have in my life because her voice was absolutely everything, and she’s someone i could genuinely look up to.

it was very important to me to include her in this category because of that.

best actor:

- amastan from “the perfect assassin” by k.a. doore (runner up: reid giordano from “fire season” by k.d. casey)

I choose to believe that your strong sense of justice will prevail among your kind and that you will emerge as their natural leader, even if I cannot believe in what you do.

the funny thing with this one is that at first, reid was immediately my first choice because he was everything!! he was such a brilliant main character who went through such a tough and honest character journey that was so well-developed and he’s still growing!!

but then i thought about amastan from the chronicles of ghadid series, and how my immense love for his voice in the story was enough for me to rate the first book a little higher than i would’ve if he wasn’t the main character. and you want to know something that still blows my mind?? amastan apparently didn’t even exist as a main character in the original draft of this series!!

so yeah, he’s someone that’s stuck with me a lot: and it’s partly because of how he was our first glimpse into this family of cousins who assassinate their targets for the better of their city. i loved his love for history & the way he challenges the idea of what a good assassin is supposed to emulate, and his character in general just hit a sweet spot in my brain that has now had me latch myself to him, and to this world he lives in that made my entire chronicles of ghadid experience such an immersive read.

he has his morals and he wants to believe in the better of others, but he’s still really strict when it comes to crossing that line, and that makes him an absolutely wonderful mentor, as we see in book two. i was really happy to see his pov again in the final book, even if it was pretty brief, but he still had a larger than life role in my heart and in this series. i am very thrilled that it took a random bookstagram post to have given me the opportunity to meet him in the first place.

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and that is a wrap!!

[ringsreforged]

Natalie's *deep* Haladriel thoughts - BEWARE

Pau - When you read this later, let me know if you want me to move it to my personal account, yeah? If it even still exists...

I’m not really sure what this post is going to end up being. A defence of the show and the separation? In part! A critique of the show based off leak spoilers and my own gut feeling? For sure! A desperate ramble in an attempt to get my head in order? Absolutely!

I will say before we dive in that I’m absolutely a Haladriel shipper, but the way I ship isn’t always in line with fandom. I ship what I see as part of the narrative because it’s the narrative, and everything else is a bonus. I make this distinction because I think this is why I’m so okay with a lack of scenes when some others are not, and I don’t want to come across preachy. I don't think I'm in any way superior for this by the way. In fact, I wish I could be more *normal*!!!!

If you came to this show for Haladriel alone, and simply want to see them share scenes week to week – that’s your prerogative. I’m not trying to say you shouldn’t feel that way. What I might try to say is that I don’t think that makes the shows bad or suggests that the writers have baited with this relationship. I think that’s ultimately what I find frustrating…

But anyway, let’s get into whatever this is. A reflection on expectations, a five-season arc, and those STUPID spoiler leaks…

AND THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. STAY AWAY. HISS.

Alright, so this post is mostly brought to you by a sinking feeling I have that the leak spoilers are real. Because everything in that episode 7 promo matches up.

STOP READING if you don’t want to know the spoilers. And honestly? STOP READING IF YOU THINK YOU WANT TO KNOW because living with this knowledge has truly made this season less enjoyable for me (credit to it, then, because I still think it’s incredible). IF I’M MAKING YOU PANIC, STILL STOP READING because there very much is a world where these spoilers aren’t that bad in context…but I prefer to keep my expectations low…

Have you gone???

HAVE YOU GONE?????

SPOILER TALK

Okay.

So, the leak spoilers say that there is no kiss between Sauron and Galadriel (which, honestly, I have no great issue with – more to come on that later). Instead, the kiss is ELROND AND GALADRIEL, and I absolutely do take issue with this.

I can only hope and PRAY that it works in context, but I can’t get my head around it. And yet, the promo…it’s all falling into place. Elrond will be sent to discuss terms with the orcs before the battle. He’ll see Galadriel in chains, and he’ll ask for a moment to say goodbye. Adar will allow it because he’s a gent like that. This is where we get the chin touch with the thumb everyone speculated over and then…HE LEANS IN AND KISSES HER TO PUT A NEEDLE IN HER MOUTH? SO SHE CAN RELEASE HERSELF LATER??

To clarify, most of this is my spec, but THE KISS TO PASS HER A NEEDLE IS A REAL LEAKED SPOILER THAT NO LONGER SEEMS FAKE.

It's just…so convoluted and weird??? Does he store needles in his mouth like a squirrel? Why couldn’t he have slipped the needle into her hand??? WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ELROND’S LIPS ON GALADRIEL’S?

And look, maybe this spoiler IS still fake! But the details were so specific, and everything about the context seems to be accurate, so that feels like it would be a bonkers coincidence to me. Maybe when we actually see it play out, it will be fine.

But that does bring me back to the Haladriel of it all, just briefly. With my whole heart, I do not need them to kiss. After season 1, I didn’t think it would be possible, and I’m okay with that. But if you’re willing to let ELROND’S lips touch her, then MY GOD, you could have let Haladriel have ONE kiss where she’s trying to distract him or some shit. OOF.

My only relief is that it happens next week, so we can hopefully get it out of our systems and enjoy the finale.

That said, if these leaks are true then that also means the finale leaks are true. Now, I actually never wanted to see any of these spoilers (hence me making it VERY CLEAR what this post is about, because I wouldn’t inflict this stress on anyone unwillingly), so once I got the Elrond kiss details, I tried to get away without seeing much else. But there was some information on the big Haladriel scene.

I’m actually not going to detail it here, because – overall – I think we’ll still super enjoy it (just…lower those kiss expectations) AND because I don’t think all of it was spoiled. At the end of the day, there will be plenty to unpack, they’ll be back on our screens, it will be meaty, it will be layered. I’m really looking forward to it, in general.

My one fear is that it’s a season 1 finale repeat. And again, that won’t necessarily be bad per se, but it will feel a little bit underwhelming. Now, I’m not somebody that wants a true corruption arc for Galadriel. Normally, I love that shit, but not in this IP and not with this character. I want to see her explore her darkness, I want to see her face it and accept it, and I certainly want to see her be tempted…but I don’t expect or believe we'll ever actually get the whole ‘dark queen of Mordor’ vibe. Prisoner? Maybe. But not an actual dark queen.

That said…surely this scene doesn’t play out the EXACT same way as season 1? Sauron shows her a vision, she’s tempted, but ultimately resists and tells him she’ll never be at his side. I just don’t get why we’d repeat that, when there are so many other options that still keep Gal on the side of light.

I keep coming back to Galadriel’s line to Elrond in episode 4 – when it comes down to it, he has to choose to defeat Sauron and sacrifice her. I feel like if I hadn’t seen the leaks, then I would be 1000% expecting this to be the outcome. Especially with how Elrond’s theme comes in at the end of The Last Temptation track. He comes upon the confrontation but chooses to do the thing that will harm Sauron in the long run, rather than the thing that will save Galadriel.

I hope so badly for this, but I do worry that it will go the other way. What if it parallels Gandalfanger’s destiny/friend choice, and Elrond chooses her because THAT is how light wins or some shit? Not that this will be a bad scene by any stretch – I love their relationship and want to see their FRIENDSHIP (grrrr) reforged…but, again, the S1 finale! Sauron left her in the water, and Elrond was there to save her.

There’s also Galadriel’s conversation with Adar in the most recent episode – you succumbed, I resisted – but I guess this could go either way? He succumbed, so she resists. She insists she’s able to resist, so she succumbs. URGH. MY HEAD.

There MUST be a difference. SURELY??? Like, this season has been so well written…I just can’t comprehend the copy and paste.

Again, this isn’t anything close to a deal breaker for me. I firmly believe the showrunners when they say this relationship will remain the core of the show, but…hmmm. Okay, on that note…

DAMAGE CONTROL – MOVING ONTO THE DEFENCE OF THE SHOW

So, this is where I want to get into some stuff that I just…don’t agree with that I’ve seen being thrown at the show by shippers. And I’ll reiterate here that I’m truly not telling anybody what to feel. You can hate the show for its choices and feel how you feel. You can express yourself in your social media spaces, and if anybody doesn’t like it they can mute/block/unfollow. This chunk isn’t really aimed at you guys.

This is more for other people like me, because I’m cursed to be somebody that generally wants to just…enjoy things for what they are, while also being susceptible to the mood of others. I want to scroll tags and have a good time, rather than see negativity because it lowers my mood (this isn’t just ship related by the way, I really love this show overall…it’s just this tag that has been impacting my mood most this season). Regardless of the nonsense that might be in episode 7, and even if the finale scene is a repeat of S1, I’m still going to want to focus on enjoying what we get, enjoying the narrative being told etc. So, for those of you that have a little sinking feeling in your gut after the first half of this post, hopefully this second half will help.

This isn’t a ‘typical’ ship. This is a true ENEMIES ARE ENEMIES dynamic where the bad boy is ultimately going to be (is already) pure evil, and where our heroine is the embodiment of light. There are certain things that we just have to accept when it comes to loving this dynamic as part of the show – there will never be another season like season 1. Nor should there be?

Do I wish for s3 to have them in close proximity for at least a few episodes? Of course! Do I think it’s possible with or without finale spoilers? Absolutely (given how quickly characters travel from place to place on this show, they could end the season at opposite ends of Middle Earth and this would still be on the cards…). I’m also anticipating Season 4 as a good time for them to be in full MIND PALACE mode – where the rings are all ringing, but Galadriel hasn’t yet worked out how to shut him out yet. By season 5, there might just be one final scene before the final battle. But, again, I really do think there needs to be a little bit of acceptance of that. Or, at least, expectation of it.

Something I really want to push back against is this idea that Haladriel was baited or teased, but the writers don’t actually care for it. Honestly, that’s nonsense to me on a couple of levels.

First of all, almost EVERY dynamic this season has been reduced to a handful of scenes here and there. The most consistent relationships have probably been Annatar and Celebrimbor, and Durin+Durin+Disa (off the top of my head). Elrond and Durin (probably the other most popular dynamic of S1) have been apart all season, Elrond and Galadriel have too. Isildur popped up to say hello and we might not see him again.

When you actually stop and look at this season…Sauron and Galadriel had to be separated. She could not be anywhere near him while he’s working Celebrimbor, and there’s no world in which they were ever going to change that narrative. And yet, the Sauron and Galadriel dynamic has been consistent across the season. With Galadriel predominantly (and depending on how the finale goes, I may have thoughts on this), but it has also been easier with her because people have talked with her openly about Sauron. It’s been harder on his side, but the fact that Mirdania seems to have been cast to look like Galadriel honestly – right now – feels like it was done with the express purpose of giving Sauron a Galadriel reference.

Again, I’m not saying you have to like the lack of scenes, but it’s not bad writing to respect the overarching narrative of an ensemble show. Galadriel’s season has been all about him, and we’ve had countless insights to make that clear – building up to their final confrontation. If Sauron was running around mentioning Galadriel every five seconds with Celebrimbor or with the dwarves, it would be horrendously out of character.

This next comment is…somewhat dependent on the finale…but as somebody that loves Elendil and Miriel, everything in Numenor has been somewhat crammed in. I would firmly argue that the Galadriel/Sauron dynamic across this season has been treated with care and reverence, all building to a climax designed as the high point of the season. Will we be 100% satisfied? Who can say! But it IS what the season is building to.

I think this brings me around to a particular gripe I have, and maybe the people that believe this came to the show after S1 had fully aired or something…but there’s this idea floating around that the showrunners don’t like this dynamic and are just giving it crumbs to bait people into watching. This makes me want to scream.

These showrunners literally took a few lines about Galadriel being tempted by Sauron and PITCHED THE ENTIRE SHOW OFF OF THAT. The Tolkien estate wasn’t only pitched by Amazon BUT CHOSE THIS PITCH OVER ANYTHING ELSE. Season 1 was written pretty much like a prologue centred around GALADRIEL AND SAURON HAVING A PERSONAL CONNECTION WITH ROMANTIC UNDERTONES…and guess what?

They wrote all that…they filmed ALL THAT…before knowing anything about the audience reaction! That was ALL the showrunners, the writers, the directors, the actors. They ARE the narrative. They are not bait.

Does that mean the fundamentals of their dynamic will always please you, individually? No, of course not. Some people want outright romance, some people want soft Sauron, some people want Dark Galadriel. Will they kiss? I doubt it. Do I wish they would? Sure! Will they be separated again next season? Probably! Will I also wish that they could at least be stuck together for a run of episodes again? Absolutely!

But the idea that any of this is bait, or unimportant to the show drives me a little bit bonkers.

I guess my personal feeling of frustration comes from the fact that I feel so lucky they are exploring this show from the perspective of this dynamic, regardless of specific details/scenes. I’d bet my house (I don’t own a house) that every other pitch hinged on Elendil or Isildur as the protagonists of the show. Now, I love those dudes, but just IMAGINE? The fact that we’re on this path at all is still WILD to me.

ANYWAY, this is what happens when Paulina goes on holiday and I have nobody to ramble too. Sorry for the explosion, but I’ve been dreading the stupid kiss spoiler since I stumbled on it after EPISODE BLOODY 3 and so I needed to vent somewhere.

TL;DR: You are welcome to feel the way you feel, and if you hate everything you go right ahead, but maybe this makes sense to somebody. IDK. IDK.

[rosanna-writer]

ok hello im from that CHARMED post

totally agree that their personalities don't match of course, but the sole idea that 3 sister witches stayed together still works!

Phoebe's and Elain's powers match more, yes, but also if I remember correctly Phoebe is very flirty and outgoing and Elain MIGHT have been that before turning fae but after not really

PRUE IS SO NESTA I'm glad we all agree with that, I believe if somehow it happened that both of Archeron parents died at the same time Nesta might have stepped up, and in that case it would've been a very good match

Piper gave a very mom-like vibe taking care of everyone which honestly reminds me more of Katara from atla, I love her really, and I feel like Feyre kind of became like that when she became a mom (and a side character give me my babe 😭😭😭😭)

Men uhhh

I honestly only liked Cole and well, Leo was fine but I hated him in that arc with those whatever avatars or something idr anymore, personality wise Lucien would be a very bad guardian angel 🤣🤣 or like the one that constantly gets into trouble lmao, but he would shine!

Cassian could be another demon cuz well, brothers with Rhysie and I honestly don't remember if Prue had any love interest or not :<

so all in all if someone was interested in the idea to write about it would work, but yes me thinking sjm took something out of it - nah I just got overly excited

ANYWAY thank you for letting me explore this it was really fun to think about it during the bus trip

HIIIIIIII

Tbh I also love the idea of Elain getting an advice column like Phoebe did! When I wrote a charmed-ish AU for Elucien week, I almost made that her job.

Prue had Andy and they had the whole "I can't tell him I'm a witch" angst thing going on (and did he die? I feel like he also died????)

But yeah tbh I could totally see SJM doing a bonkers Nyx from the future plot in ACOTAR, which is part of why Piper always reminds me of Feyre. Like Ms Maas WOULD absolutely have another next gen kid time travel and move into the House of Wind to make sure Nyx doesn't grow up evil or whatever

PRUE IS SO NESTA CODED IT'S INSANE!!!!!!!!!! Her whole art dealer job feels like a bookish/nerdy job where she'd meet Gwyn!!!!!!

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Hikaru Sulu

By Ames

Have at thee! Pick up your foil and get into the proper stance as A Star to Steer Her By shines this week’s character spotlight on the Enterprise’s helmsman (and occasional musketeer), Hikaru Sulu. We may have had to get a little nitpicky with noteworthy moments from Scott last week because he’s just used less than the three main characters, and Sulu will be even tougher because he does even less and then is gone for a lot of season two while he was off filming The Green Berets (which I wouldn’t even recommend, so that’s a waste!).

That’s not to say Sulu isn’t a great presence in The Original Series, and we came up with some great (and not so great) moments from this ship’s jack of all trades. He swashbuckles, he collects pistols, he tends to plants, he quips with his Russian bestie. Check out the best and worst of Sulu below, listen to this week’s banter on the podcast (discussion starts at 1:19:43), and give us warp speed on my mark. Mark!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best Moments

Someone give this man a hand… plant Sulu started the series with a passion for botany that never really came up much after it was established in “The Man Trap” (even when it would have been applicable, as you’ll see), but it was endearing to see him caring for Beauregard and worrying about his flowery friend after a salt vampire masquerading as crewman Green gave him a fright. There there, Beauregard.

Richelieu, beware! One of the most memorable moments for Sulu and also for the whole damn series comes in “The Naked Time” where we see our favorite helmsman get affected by the space madness disease and start running around the ship shirtless with a foil, provoking crewmen into duels. It’s that bonkers kind of fun episode that really worked for TOS and gave us decades of referential humor after.

Lower us down a pot of hot coffee While we gave Kirk a lot of guff about his characterization(s) in “The Enemy Within,” we’ve really got to give Sulu credit for his work in the B plot. While slowly freezing on Alfa 177, he manages to keep morale up with the occasional light-hearted room service call to the Enterprise. And this is the first we see of what we dubbed the “Sulu Maneuver,” when you heat up some rocks with a phaser! Clever!

He’s doing a countdown! Okay, this one’s here partly because of the running joke we made out of Bailey’s delivery pointing out Sulu’s rather macabre countdown, but Sulu also displays some serious chops in “The Corbomite Maneuver.” Bailey can’t handle the pressure, and Sulu has to literally lean over and do his job for him at the same time, all without losing count!

You are not of the body Mind-controlled Sulu is best Sulu and gets some really fun acting out of George Takei every time. We see it in the afore-mentioned “The Naked Time,” in “Catspaw,” and in “This Side of Paradise,” to name a few, but my favorite mind-controlled Sulu has got to be in “The Return of the Archons” because of all the extra points he gets for this ruffly outfit!

It’s Greek to me Let’s also commend Sulu for rigging up the ship’s phasers to destroy Apollo’s temple in “Who Mourns for Adonais?” Why this plan worked I have absolutely no idea. What self-respected god entity puts all of their powers in a single object? Trelane wouldn’t gaff this hard. Anyway, props to Sulu for somehow avoiding phasering the humans who were hiding only ten feet away like fools.

Lay back and thinking about vegetables Holy cow, guys. A whole episode in which only Spock, Uhura, and Sulu are featured from the entire cast? It must be “The Slaver Weapon” from The Animated Series. Only TAS could get away with giving to Sulu scenes that would go to Kirk any other day, and he owns it! He outwits the Kzinti. He avoids their telepathy by thinking about broccoli. He does it all!

Don’t call me tiny As usual, some of the best moments we’ve collected come from the films, where the characters all really get the shine. Even the minor characters like Sulu, who gets to sashay around in what we previously dubbed the Ta’cape in The Search for Spock and hold his own against a security officer who stands probably a full foot taller than him, like a small dog in a fight. Bowwow!

Special delivery While we’re a little sad that Sulu had probably the fewest character scenes in The Voyage Home (they evidently cut a family reunion scene due to bad child acting), we do have to thank this San Franciscan for obtaining and flying a helicopter around to deliver the transparent aluminum to the ship. How did he pull it off? We’ll just have to use our imagination.

Emergency Landing Plan B Wow, we’ve had more good moments from The Final Frontier than bad ones to mention in these character spotlight posts, which is kind of fascinating considering that film on the whole is among our least favorites. But when Sulu totally rocks it and manually lands the shuttle in the bay using a barricade, we have to admit that the film knew how to use its characters.

Fly her apart then! How often does Sulu get to save the day? Not often enough, I say, because when he gets the opportunity to have the Excelsior join in the battle in The Undiscovered Country, it’s positively thrilling. Your heart just wells at the love these crewmembers have for each other that Sulu would ignore orders to come rescue his friends with passion that I wish we got to see more often in the show.

Tossing a match into a pool of gasoline For the 30th anniversary of Star Trek, Voyager treated the fans with a little Sulu action in “Flashback” and he proved to be just as heroic as ever! Not only do we get to see his decision to go save his old crewmates, but we see him outwit Kang by igniting the sirillium in a nebula. Not only that, but he does the humane and diplomatic thing and makes sure it won’t destroy the Klingon ship utterly. Now that’s a great birthday gift!

—

Worst Moments

It’s a he plant – a girl can tell Ya know how we were lauding Sulu for all his great botany work before? Well, he insists that Beauregard’s name is Gertrude for some reason in “The Man Trap.” Dude, just let Janice name him Beauregard if she wants to. He’s her plant, you just feed him sometimes. And frankly, Beauregard is the perfect name for this plant, so we have to give you points off for this one.

I’ll protect you, fair maiden Another instance that’s on both our good and bad lists comes in “The Naked Time.” Drunk or not, assaulting his coworkers is not okay, pal. And Uhura can defend herself from the likes of Richelieu or whoever else. Can we do away with the constant need to protect female characters like they’re damsels in distress? Luckily, Uhura managed to own this moment, as we’ll certainly see next week.

I knew he would Here’s another example of Chris putting the same moment in both of his lists. Funny as that interaction with Bailey was, did we really need the countdown in “The Corbomite Maneuver”? Balok was already doing it for us, as we could tell when the Clint Howard–shaped alien was supposed to repeat “one minute” after Sulu, but the line was cut, and Sulu reacts to it anyway like a weirdo.

Fantasy island, er, planet Most things in “Shore Leave” are perplexing since the episode was being written on the fly and all the characters are acting entirely out of character (we postulated the whole planet was drugged, but who knows). So when Sulu is evidently thinking about samurai for some reason, we can just blame the writers if that comes across as a little racist, especially considering Takei fought to NOT be written as a samurai in “The Naked Time.”

If it were two feet from me You know how we were giving credit earlier to Sulu for caring for Beauregard and having a knack for botany? Well all that goes out the window in “This Side of Paradise” where Sulu suddenly can’t notice a plant that is literally right next to him and slowly turning to face him. I call this man’s botany skills into question. No wonder he misgendered Beauregard! 

You are away from your post, Mister We can give normal universe Sulu a pass on this one, but his parallel universe self in “Mirror, Mirror” is just a monster. While it’s some good fun to watch Takei got down with his bad self by trying to get the captain killed and all that jazz, it is just plain uncomfortable to watch him terrorizing Uhura, so it’s definitely worth a place on our list.

A literal dagger of the mind In “And the Children Shall Lead,” it’s unclear how far the mental powers of Gorgan go since sometimes the crew only hallucinates things and sometimes they are straight-up mind controlled. Sulu seeing a ton of knives in space (which is just plain impossible and he should know it) is the weirdest instance yet. Kirk has to tell him what he sees isn’t there, but does he understand that? Who knows; it’s a nonsensical episode.

I am for you, Sulu This is just a little moment, but Sulu falls (literally!) for one of the oldest cliches in horror writing: When Losira is coming for him in “That Which Survives,” Sulu backs away and trips on some rocks like a chump, leaving himself prone to her attack. And what makes even less sense is that her touching him doesn’t kill him like the others; it only disrupts the cells in his shoulder. Like a chump.

It’s Walter backwards! More of Sulu getting made to look like a chump comes in The Animated Series episode “The Infinite Vulcan” when he nearly gets himself killed after getting bitten by a retlaw: a walking planet with poisonous bite. Luckily, he gets saved by the Phylosians, but you’d think a botanist like Sulu would know better. Oh wait, I’ve already questioned his botany skills, so there’s that.

You’re a wizard, Sulu! I can’t rant enough on what a trainwreck “The Magicks of Megas-Tu” is, but here’s a taste. To test out how to use magic (not even going to start; we’ll be here all day), Sulu’s first impulse is to make himself a pretty woman and then go in to kiss her. In front of everyone. What the hell, Sulu? I expected better from you, man, but making yourself a sex doll is utterly ridiculous.

One tiny step for a tiny man One more from The Animated Series, and this one’s stupidity is compounded by the super inconsistent animation. When he’s been shrunk in “The Terratin Incident” to somewhere between one foot and one inch tall depending on the art frame, Sulu goes to turn a dial, somehow trips on it, and falls off the equivalent of a ten-story building only to break a leg. Ugh.

Like a bull in a China ship I have to give Sulu grief about something that bugs me whenever I see it in Star Trek. Did you ever notice that the crew seem to use breakable items only so they can get smashed? In any other scene, the ceramic tea cup that we see in The Undiscovered Country might be metal or plastic or the paper cups we saw at one point, but because we need to see it break, it’s ceramic, and I slowly lose my mind about it.

—

Oh my. We’re reducing to impulse speed to prepare for more of these character spotlights, so keep your eyes here for more in the series! Also, keep up with our watchthrough of Enterprise over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, challenge us to a duel over on Facebook or Twitter, and take a moment to smell the flowers, if you take a half a second to notice them.

[just-a-little-unionoid]

Okay y'all new soulmate AU just dropped!

disclaimer: realistically I'm probably no the first who came out with this concept, I've just never seen it before and thought about it for quite some time now; that said if you know a story with this concept i'll be delighted to hear about it! (please)

Now that it's said, the AU itself!

I'm calling it "Dreammate AU"

The concept is very simple: people who are soulmates share their dreams in a way or another, it can takes different forms depending of what you, as a writer, decide to do:

soulmates can share dreams "since birth" or only after they meet for the first time

they can dream from the same pov (both the same "character") or from different perspectives (both have their own character, or one dream as a character (main on or not) and the other is just an observer...)

if they need to meet first for the link to form, it could be instantaneous (the next night they can share a dream) or takes some weeks (or more)

or it can be something else entirely, that one only dream of what the other actually do irl if they're not asleep (that's the one I use in one of my original works)

or really anything that you want, like that's the point of creation, right?

What do I like about this AU particularly? And what kind of things can be explored in it?

wow so glad you asked bc I'd say it anyway

on a personal level (I know this one will not be universal) I love soulmates AUs but I always struggle a little with the idea of a cosmically predeterminated mate (I'm very unconfortable with the concept of predetermination as a whole irl), and this concept as opposed as more "visible" soulmarks can at least let some place to interpretation

I LOVE sharing my dreams with people irl, partly because my dreams are absolute bonkers and super fun to tell, and learn about other people dreams, so obviously this concept appeals to me

interesting ideas to explore in this AU include:

worlbuilding: how does a society in which sharing what you dreamed of could lead you to discover your soulmate(s)?

are dreams standard small talk? because you never know?

or is it the opposite? is "sharing your dream" something very intimate because that means/suppose you see your interlocutor as a potential soulmate and partner?

maybe both option cohexist in the univers you're creating, depending of origin or social backgroung, could be an occasion to explore differences in socialization

probably in this universe it's common to note everything you remember from your dreams as precisely as possible

I can totally see a whole profession (dreamkeeper?) which point is to collect, read, classify and trying to match dreams for people to find their soulmate(s)

modern version of this job could include some kind of Internet site/social media with this purpose, and probably AI

and of course, your fav blorbos finding each other but being absolutely clueless about being soulmates

If you have other ideas, please share!

What do you think about it?

I would probably have some other things to add but the point is also to see what we can all create on this concept, it's not fun to do it alone, so please add your own ideas, tell me for which fandom you would write or read this AU, and how (please), reblog if you like the idea or if you think your followers may like it!

[the-guilty-writer]

Okay hang on wait I have a timeline question. Okay, so it’s established there is about 1 year between RR jointing the bureau & the show beginning.

The first installment within the show is Gideon leaving, which is 3x01

Reid and RR are married at this point.

The next is Rossi’s introduction episode, which is a few episodes after (is it 3x14? It might be 3x14)

This installment discusses RR and Reid’s wedding anniversary (er, proposal anniversary). It talks about it with the air of it being at least a 2 year tradition. IMO.

We can vaguely assume the season’s are a year each, based both in Elle’s having been there a year after she leaves in season 2, and Jack turning 4 in season 4, after being born in S1.

SO, exactly how long DID RR and Reid know each other when they got together? And how long were they together before they got married?

The answer is not long enough in my opinion, but it's because I wasn't smart enough to put together a timeline before I started writing the series.

I didn't think it through and made a (sort of) mistake by saying that they got married before the show started and it crunched the timeline of their relationship between meeting and mairrage to about a year.

To draw it out the longest, we can say that Reid joined the BAU in October of 2003, right after he turned 22, and RR joined the BAU in late February/early March 2004 (approximately 20 weeks apart from one another).

It's already established that Morgan ships them (in The First Case when he tells Reid to wake her up) and Spencer absolutely has a crush on her (he gets flustered by Morgan's comment). If we're being honest we all know that Gideon is trying to set them up. So I'd imagine that Morgan really pushes Spencer into asking her out fast.

So they probably go on their first date by the end of March 2004.

With their jobs there isn't a whole lot of time for dating in the traditional sense and they're already with one another all the time because of work. The phase of only going on established "dates" with specific plans and time frames would be short-lived because it simply isn't feasible with their lives.

They'd skip to the phase where they hang out at one another's apartments after work, grab quick dinner together after a case, and "the metro doesn't run this late. you can just stay over" part of their relationship fast. It's the most practical way for them to spend time together outside of work. By mid-May 2004 they both have keys to one another's places.

They're practically living together, but I think both of them would feel like they were rushing so they'd put it off actually moving in with one another depite the fact that they're just splitting their lives and belongings between two seprate apartments.

This is when I imagine the chain reaction of events takes place that begins to really force speed.

At the end of August/beginning of September 2004 something happens. I imagine Spencer's mom's care fees rise, and while Spencer has the money, it's still stressful for him. RR finds out because Spencer can't hide anything from her (she can't hide anything from him either), and she suggests they move in together to lessen the financial burden. So they move in together.

Their relationship has been serious since the beginning, but now it feels even more serious.

At the end of October 2004, something happens on a case and RR lands in the hospital in pretty bad condition. Rossi is overseas for some book thing, so Gideon is the power of attorney for RR, but he's still chasing after the unsub with the rest of the team. Spencer wants to stay with her, but because of laws, the doctors won't tell Spencer about her condition and he is loosing his mind.

She pulls through and she's going to be fine (other than the fact that she'll be on desk duty for a few weeks which will drive her bonkers) but Spencer is absolutely not fine. He was terrified having to sit around knowing nothing until Gideon and Hotch got there.

RR comes home on Halloween and that day Spencer proposes the idea of getting married for legal purposes. It makes sense from a logistics standpoint- it would give them both power of attorney, tax benefits, and if something were to happen to Spencer then RR could make sure everything goes towards Diana's care, etc.

RR says yes, but it's a hesitant yes.

Because of Rossi's three failed mairrages, RR does keep putting off the paperwork though, and Spencer understands her hesitation. They have moved fast and they're young and neither of them had great examples of healthy relationships growing up.

They're coming up on months of "engagement" and RR is still hesitant, but then... Boston. March 2005.

RR was with Hotch when it happened and Spencer was with Gideon. They're in two separate locations and all the information that is being relayed is that a BAU agent is dead. RR is losing her shit because all she can think about is how she's put off marrying the love of her life (even if it is just for legal reasons, because this is the excuse they make all the time) and now he might be dead.

When they get home the team is given time off and Spencer and RR get married. She wasn't going to hyphenate her name before, but she is now and Spencer secretly loves it.

So the answer is about a year between the time they meet and the time they get married! I don't think this is entirely compliant with everything I've written so far, but it takes up the most time.

The show starts in late September 2005 so by the time the show starts Spencer and RR would have been mairred for about 6 months!

[esperanta-dragon]

💥🦋🦈 for the ask game?

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

The whole Shadowlands and whole narrative built around Sylvanas to make her appear she was only a victim and did not want any of it. I don't believe she did not want it. Not only it made her look weak and dumb, but the amount of effort put into breaking and twisting the old established lore to achieve this... ooof. No. It does not work and will never work. To be honest I am still not sure what Blizzard tried to achieve. Why they went bonkers with her just to pull the breaks in the last moment. Why they couldn't make her a really good villain she deserved to be? Why she had to end up being just a pawn in all this? They wanted us to feel sorry for her? Did not happen because it does not work. Not even the book made me think that. The whole book was trying to avoid the Jailer and Shadowlands plot. Now we will never know how her original story after WotLK was supposed to go. I am just sad because she did not deserved it as incompetent writers used her badly and destroyed the whole lore to make it happen... what made it happen? I don't know and will never understand the reason behind this decision. Shadowlands will never belong to WoW lore, it will always stick out as some strange spin-off and I wish Blizzard made some change in the timeline with Bronze Dragonflight and erase it or claim that it was an alternative reality. We deserved better Shadowlands. And many characters deserved better resolution.

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write? More of them.

Darion Mograine It took me 10 years to find out how to write him correctly. At first he was way too soft because I was a teenager who had this phase that all dark characters are misunderstood and they are all soft inside (yes even Arthas, Kel'Thuzad, etc... ugh). Then I wrote him way too tough, almost indifferent just to make him tough which is not true. He is not and it was shown in Legion and in We Ride Forth how much he cares about everybody even Bolvar.

Death knights are hard to write in general because you have to find the balance between their indifference to the living world but also show that they have a lot of issues, trauma, and regrets. So when I started writing RP with my friend, I couldn't be happier when she told me that Darion is incredibly complex and at first it doesn't make sense what he is doing and how does he react but when you figure out his core values, you get to understand him more and suddenly it makes sense.

Until this day, my friend who is writing Anduin still says from time to time that she can't exactly get into Darion's head because sometimes he does a lot of illogical stuff based on his moral compass and inner values. And I am not talking about how trauma and regrets and all the bad things are getting into his behavior.

And that makes me happy he is this kind of a weirdo.

Kel'Thuzad

Strange but KT is my favorite villain. When I started building my story with death knights many years ago, the Lich King was the one in the spotlight and doing decisions. Then I realized it doesn't make sense and he doesn't have the goddamn time and why should he care. So Kel'Thuzad would be the one doing all the stuff and planning before Light's Hope.

Then the book about sir Zeliek was in making. He wasn't there that much with the first version of the book. Which is absolutely pitty because I got to like him a lot. In the second version I am rewriting after years, taking out the stuff which was not working and using the potential on maximum, I can't wait to catch the drive and finish the book in a few weeks.

I just love writing highly calculating, insane characters. Which reminds me he is in one of my AU fanfics I am rewriting and I enjoyed absolutely every moment he was in. I should get back to it. He is crazy. I love working with him.

sir Zeliek

My child, hello. There are like 2-3 fanfics with sir Zeliek on the internet. 1 is goddamn good from @rabbitprint called Holding Circles. As an undead paladin, he has an incredible potential never fully used by Blizzard. So I adopted him, created his background from scratch, and connected his story with Warcraft III and WotLK so he ends up being crucial.

I've written the whole book about him in 2014. At that time it was not perfect but it helped me cope with toxic environment I was in. It was a first draft and over the years I've managed to analyze what should be deleted, what should be explored, changed and how to use the full potential of the book. My writing got better and I've managed to put a lot more details into it.

It was always my big dream to write the second version which will be finally good and translate it into English. I don't know if people will read it, if it will have at least one comment each chapter because... I tend to like characters nobody cares about.

But I hope somebody will like it and maybe people will in the end appreciate the story I've created around him. He was built from scratch. And I hope people will like him. Because he is in a grey moral zone and I've put a lot of effort into him. People realizing how big potential was missed would make me happy.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

You wouldn't believe but Arthas as the Lich King. It's super hard to write this kind of deity which should be stoic, and calm but creepy and intimidating at the same time. Unfortunately... when I try it, he always ends up being cringe.

Maybe it's just my feeling and maybe it got better. I would have to start rewriting the AU when the Lich King won the war in Northrend because he was there for a few moments.

Still, I am avoiding him when I can. It is funny when you write about death knights and you... can't avoid it 100%

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

I was thinking about how Ingo likely was training his pokemon to work in a variety of battle formats, because that's just how he's used to training them with Emmet and without memories he just kind of went on instinct as to how to train his Hisui team. And how he's also very, very good at strategizing and almost definitely still would be even with near complete amnesia. Then I was thinking about how he probably tried to help coach some of the Pearl Clan, like Irida, or Galaxy Team at the training grounds, on how to train their pokemon. I cannot imagine it going well.

To him, that's just how people should train pokemon, and it's important to him that his own be trained that way, so it must be important for all trainers to do it that way too. Except. Not many people can think the way he does, even in his own time. He and Emmet are experts, and as you've been talking to some people about their starters, they must have been good well before adulthood, which is not something just anyone can do. So trying to teach that to the people of Hisui? They must think he's absolutely bonkers.

He's clearly the best trainer they have, but it's so convoluted they just end up getting even more confused. But he's like, "no, you need to know how to fight with two pokemon at once too, what if you get surrounded by a group of wild pokemon? And yes, you need to be able to fight in coordination with other people. Again, what if you and someone else get surrounded and need to work together??" And that makes sense, so they do try, but also, what's up with all the weird signals he's trying to teach them? He didn't even use those himself, so ??? And how are they supposed to remember all the shorthand he insists will be more useful than spending time shouting the whole command, especially when they use two pokemon at once?

He makes it look so effortless when he battles, but trying to do it themselves? It's so hard to learn and most give up. Which is really disheartening to both him and them! His team probably went through a few who weren't suited for it either, but that just means he's got some pokemon in the Highlands who aren't on his team anymore, but are still friends.

even the very concept of being a "trainer" in the way he's proposing is sort of counter to the way the pearl clan thinks about things! they just don't have that level of formality about it. and they're already primed to Not Like the idea bc of the pokeball argument. he just wishes he had more people to spar with, he feels like he's getting rustyyyy (rusty with respect to what is a mystery, because he's objectively still capable of winning most battles, but the feeling is there)

semi-related but i actually had this thought a while back that i never polished up of ingo writing a book in hisui-times, which was meant to be sort of a primer on how to battle with a pokemon, and he was never expecting it to go farther than the security corps mostly but then fast forward to the future and it's become incredibly widespread because it IS a really good resource. even if it is... a beginner's guide for people who are terrified of starly so it starts out with some REAL baby steps. and also spends a lot of time countering rumors that seem hysterically far-fetched to modern readers, like, "bidoof do not chew through your floor to come up and eat you while you sleep i PROMISE it does not work like that."

once he gets on to like actually explaining type matchups and moves and stuff... it becomes one of those things where there are modern books that have trimmed the extra bits out, but if you're a history buff or whatever you could totally hand your kid this book and they'd be ready for playground battles within the week. or like, if you're an adult and you pick it up bc it's been referenced so much and you're curious, you'll still find it interesting bc even if this guy's toning it down he so clearly knows his shit. (and then there's also the moments where, because it's so old, it also drops in some random facts that make historians scramble when they see them. like, he's explaining how for dual-types an immunity for one type overrides a weakness for another, and uses zorua as an example, which makes everyone go WAIT WHAT because apparengly zorua in the area used to be fucking ghost/normal??)

anyway imagine. ingo returned to the present, walking around the house that is Apparently His, looking for things that could jog his memory, and then he stops dead staring at a bookshelf: "...that's my book." and emmet's like oh yeah! you bought that at a used book store, it was one of the first books on battling we had- and ingo's just goes "no no you misunderstand. that's my book. i wrote that. i sent it out with the guild a month ago, what the fuck"

[theghostpinesmusic]

I'm switching gears a bit to Phish for the last post of the day.

Last week, I started watching their four-show Mexico run from February of this year for a few reasons, no the least of which being that Trey himself called them the best shows the band has played...maybe ever, apparently? It's unclear.

What is clear is that while the latter three of the four shows are full, jam-packed (see what I did there?) two-set affairs, the opening show is a two-hour "welcome set" that is decidedly lower-key, regardless of what Trey says.

Despite the short show, I thought that the short-ish take on "Down With Disease" was good, as was the set-ending "Life Saving Gun." I really enjoyed the "Everything's Right," which seems to be getting ignored among fans due to its track length even though there's a lot of good stuff within its twelve minute runtime.

What Phish shared online after the show, though, was their take on "If I Could."

I have a bit of a history with this song, as "If I Could" was, weirdly, one of the first Phish songs I was obsessed with. Let me (briefly) explain.

When I first got into the band, around 2000 or 2001, I was listening to a lot of composed orchestral music and some fairly complex popular music, like early-era Metallica and Dave Matthews Band. But I was not ready for the weirdest and most challenging Phish jam excursions at that point.

For example, one of the first Phish "albums" I owned was a copy of the LivePhish CDs of 12/29/94, which a friend just gave to me, hoping to hook me. It worked, but for a long time I would listen to the whole show while skipping the thirty-four minute version of "David Bowie" (widely regarded among longtime fans as one of the band's best jams) because it made no sense to me and I got bored about ten minutes in.

What I really loved from that show was the slow ballad "If I Could," which features a gorgeous outro focused primarily on Trey and Page trading melodies. I'd never heard that level of emotion in an improvisation before, and I couldn't get enough of it. It wasn't until years later that I would learn from Phish "fans" that this is a song that you're supposed to deride and make a point to take a "piss break" during if you happen to be in attendance when it's played.

Whatever.

"If I Could" is still a gorgeous ballad after all these years, and this version, randomly dropped into a low-key, low-expectations "welcome set" in Mexico in February 2024, features, to my ears, the most beautiful outro jam I've ever heard from the song. And, as a fan, I've heard a lot of versions.

The band "just" jams over the song's outro chords here, and so there isn't really anything else for me to analyze or comment on. But I wanted to share this because hearing it made my week after being a fan for almost twenty-five years and having heard countless other versions in that time.

Yeah, it's that good.

I'll let the music do the rest.

Next up is my absolute favorite jam from the band's bonkers Sphere run, which they posted on YouTube way after I'd given up hoping that they would: the thirty-four minute "Down With Disease" that kicked off the second set of night four, which I wouldn't hesitate to call one of the best sets I've ever heard from the band.

But that'll be sometime later because I'm tired of blogging now and my imperial cider is gone. Have a good oooooooone!

[the-cat-chat]

March 11, 2023

Triangle of Sadness (2022)

Carl and Yaya, a couple of influencers, are invited to a luxury cruise ship alongside a group of out of touch wealthy people. The situation takes an unexpected turn when a brutal storm hits the ship.

JayBell: I’m not a huge fan of the big award shows, but seeing a comedy on the list of nominations for Best Picture I was a little surprised. And a little curious.

I had no clue what to expect going into this movie besides what I read of the synopsis. And after watching, I’m not sure it’s really a “comedy.” It is satirical in many ways, but I’m not sure that I found it funny per se. It’s hard for me to describe this movie. It’s White Lotus plus The Menu plus Titanic plus Castaway. I could not predict the events of this movie, not by a long shot, and there’s something fun about its unpredictability.

I definitely picked up on the themes of equality and classism. The power dynamics between people of different classes, between different generations, between genders, and between couples. It was crazy to see how a return to a blank slate, where money and status means nothing, can change the social hierarchy.

As for the ending, normally I don’t like this ambiguous, open style. But I actually like how you can decide what happens on your own (or at least what you want to happen).

P.S. I’m taking off a whole point for the long, detailed, and extended vomiting scene. Yes, an entire point. I hate watching vomiting in media so much this movie should have its own warning.

P.P.S. Rip Charlbi Dean Kriek. She did a great job in this movie and it’s weird she wasn’t in the memorial at the Oscars despite being in a movie that’s nominated for Best Picture?

Rating: 5.75/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I remember seeing the thumbnail for this movie a few weeks ago and thinking “oooOooo that looks good.” And I watched it and you’ve got Woody Harrelson as a captain and a BUNCH of puke- and I immediately was like “ummm okkahyyy.” And it left my mind until now. And I have to sayyyy the puking is a BIT MUCH to say as little as possible about THAT but there is sooooooo much to this movie.

So much is happening the whole movie like honestly a review is pointless. Just watch it. It might be like 10 hours long but it is so entertaining with the continually evolving plot points and focuses and dynamic shifts with the characters. And it absolutely BONKERS! Like that Captain’s Dinner Scene- I’ve never seen anything so horrific. And the discussions on societal issues is clearly there and poked at but you can get the message in a potent way while just be able to look at surface value of the movie- which just feels so weird bc the more you think of the issues it’s pointing out the better the whole movie gets. And the actors were great and insane and just made everything work so awesomely. It really can’t be reviewed it just has to be experienced. The overwhelming show of how power dynamics affect us as human beans, but also just navigating the roles expected in our relationships and how gender affects that, but also the concept of WOOdY HarRElsoN beING A YacT CapTAin and a SOCiaLiSt?!? It’s a doozy. But very fun. And the END!?!?!!?!?!?! Yessssssss. It was an unexpected good time.

Rating: 7/10 Cats 🐈

[scrawlingskribbles]

like. hmm. I just feel like the relationship I have with polyamory is kinda interesting, I guess xD like, I know my memory is bad but if it serves me right then I might have even realized/recognized that I was polyam before I realized/recognized that I was aroace lmao, which feels like kind of a big deal, somehow?? but I suppose it's easier to recognize something that's present over something that's absent, you know? how are you supposed to know something's missing if you never knew it was "supposed" to be there in the first place?

((I'm still waiting to get a phonecall back from the doc, so I ended up rambling A LOT MORE than I originally thought I was going to with this post so I'm putting it under a readmore xD))

For instance, I have this one vivid memory from back in middle school where I was talking about polyamory with a friend while we were waiting in the lunch line once, & he basically thought I was absolutely bonkers when I attempted to describe it to him lololol. The one picture/diagram I found to help explain it is still in my phone to this day, 19th from the very start of my reel of 2000+ photos. I don't remember how I first found that image—maybe it had rolled across my tumblr dashboard at some point? Regardless, all I know is that as soon as I read it, it made something light up in my brain, a little aha! lightbulb that was like, Yes, This Makes Sense, This Is You.

And like, I'm sure that I had to have some kind of moment like that with being aroace, but I don't have any specific memory like I do with the polyam thing. It probably also doesn't help that for a long while before I realized I was aroace, I felt so broken/wrong/etc. that I'd made up this whole little narrative in my head that I was actually an android instead of a human & was just Missing that one "part" that everyone else seemed to have, that let/made them have those kinds of romantic feelings for others. (Like, I obviously didn't actually believe it, like it wasn't delusion-level or anything, but it Was how I coped with feeling so yucky during that time, letting myself pretend that I was a robot so it wouldn't hurt quite so much.) So I feel like the aroace realization/acceptance came a little more gradually, having to convince myself over time the more that I learned about it that I wasn't actually broken, just different, and working to chase away the residual negative thoughts/feelings that I'd already been living with for however long at that point. Those feelings still crop up from time to time, but it hasn't been a Genuine Issue for me in quite a long time, thankfully.

So I suppose I did feel that Absence Of Something for quite a while, but I just didn't have the language/knowledge to put a name to it at the time. With the polyamory though, it was something that had never really surfaced before, so when that nerve got struck for the first time it was only a Positive note, so maybe that's why I remember it more clearly? (Bc I wasn't even all that bothered with what that one friend thought about it; he just Didn't Get It, and that was fine. ...Okay, maybe it Was actually after the aroace discovery, bc that feels like the kind of backbone that I would have gotten After already figuring out one piece of my puzzle tbh, lmfao. Huh. Darn my shoddy memory xD).

It's also interesting to me because, like, kinda going back to the Absence vs. Presence thing, the polyamory part of me is like, way less... obvious, I guess? I don't think that's the right word but it's all I've got rn xD But like, I feel my aroace-ness every day (or like, at least every Week or so) by virtue of Not feeling attraction towards people. So it's so weird, amidst that vast void of non-attraction, to also feel just as strongly in my bones that I Am polyamorous. Like, there's quote-unquote ""evidence"" of me being aroace because I don't date or otherwise seek out romantic/etc. relationships, but there's no "evidence" of me being polyam because of almost the exact same reasoning xD Like, the way I am with polyamory is the same way that other people feel about their sexuality/attraction as a whole, which is amusing to me for some reason. People can know that they're straight or gay or bi or what-have-you even if they've never been with anyone of the stipulated gender(s), and I know that I'm polyamorous even though I've never been in a polyamorous relationship. Idk, it's just kind of a wild feeling for me, as someone who's far more familiar with the lack of feeling something xD

And like, is my polyamory actually linked specifically to my aroace-ness, no matter how oxymoronic it might seem at first glance? Is the polyamory a side effect or maybe even a coping mechanism of sorts, because I'm aware of my typical-relationship shortcomings as an aroace & sex-averse individual in a world of allos and don't mind the thought of Sharing a partner/partners, especially if that means they can meet each other's needs in ways that I personally can't, because I just want everyone to be happy? Is it a romanticization of the Two Cakes theory but with real human people managing to have open, honest, enjoyable relationships with one another simultaneously, because the more is still the merrier even if it's also more complicated? Is it a testament to my own selfishness/laziness, wanting to have my cake and eat it too, because more hands make lighter work and I can barely keep a simple friendship afloat, let alone anything """more""" than that? Is it an unrealistic idealization that, even though deep down I still feel those senses of being Broken and not anywhere near Enough on my own, someone or even multiple someones would still find my presence in their life(s) fulfilling enough to want to keep me around in a more intimate capacity than ""just"" a friend, because I still yearn for the closeness of a relationship like that even if I don't specifically feel the "attractions" that typically glues that kind of relationship together?

...I think it's probably All of the above, if I'm being perfectly honest. And that's a lot of feelings to have swirling all around at once, let me tell you xD So I guess that's why I had to word-vomit it all out here; there's no real point to this post, just sharing some thoughts/experiences that have been on my mind as of late. It's complicated inside this here noggin o' mine, lol~ TwT

[decepti-thots]

You once asked your followers what did we think Mtmte sale numbers were during publication, and I don't know if I missed a follow-up to that, but what were the actual numbers? How well was Mtmte selling?

AH, thank you for reminding me!! I absolutely meant to post my thoughts and just. Blanked on doing it. brain good tm

So the reason I had asked that is that there's a whole thing about how a lot of folks in this fandom are not like, Comic People TM generally, and perceptions of how comics sell outside the industry/fanbase versus how they actually sell is a big thing. And I had a sneaking suspicion that a) a lot of people in MTMTE/LL fandom think the comic was much more successful than it actually was relative to other comics, and b) that comics period are much bigger sellers than they actually are. (Comics here meaning monthly Western releases.)

And I was right! People gave BONKERS numbers. People said they thought it sold at least 100,000 issues a month on a regular basis. Some people said literally millions. Someone said it 'wasn't that successful' so probably 'only' sold around 75,000.

To give some perspective on those figures, 100,000 is a lot for the best selling comic issue in the entire world that month to sell. If Batman or whatever hits 100k that month, it's probably a big hyped issue or something! One of the things that always astonishes people is that the MCU being the biggest film franchise in the world for like a fucking decade now has in no way changed this. X-Men movies make hundreds of millions. This does not translate into the comics selling significantly more than they used to. (If you want to know more, I highly HIGHLY recommend these two essays by Colin Spacetwinks that go over the historical causes in astonishing detail.)

All that out of the way, let's talk what MTMTE did do numbers wise. In a word: not great, dropping to Very Not Great by the end of LL. Let's cut this, it's gonna get long I think.

MTMTE settled down after its launch at like, around 11-15k shifting per issue month to month. This is... well, for a non big two comic publisher (so, not DC or Marvel), this is kind of average? Not in the sense that this is middling performance, because that's really not great numbers, but in the sense that most comics are not financially succesful period. At DC or Marvel that would be cancellation numbers for a lot of titles. At IDW, it was... well. Average! (Contrary to popular belief, their TF titles were not their biggest seller/license. That was, at that time, MLP by a factor of 2:1. The FiM boom was real.)

This is around on par with exRiD as well, by the way. TF comics just... sold around that much. Steadily, without any great drop off in sales over time once settled, but never really getting more. And the thing IDW spent its whole damn time with the TF license doing was trying and failing to fix this. Every soft reboot, the 2019 reboot, all of it was related to them trying to find a way to bring on and keep new readers to bring the numbers up. And it never, ever worked.

Which sounds surprising, right? MTMTE did bring on new readers. Lots of them. Why didn't the sales figures go up? Well, I have a theory. Which is that the people it brought on were not people who were into other comics and gave TF a go, but instead people for whom TF was not just a first Transformers experience, but their first time with Western comics too. Which matters because comics are sold in a way that is fucking insane that means a lot of the ways people read comics Just Don't Count. And that was especially true back in 2012, when the digital comics industry was much less developed than today.

The reason being: only preorders of individual issues are 'counted' by comics publishers traditionally when tallying up how a comic is performing, really. If you walk into a comic book shop a week after it came out and buy it off the shelf? Does very little for the comic. If you buy it in trades? Nowadays this isn't quite so true as graphic novels have become a much larger part of the market, but traditionally, that really did not help a comic series avoid ongoing cancellation at all. You had to pre-order from a comics retailer, because that dictated how many issues they would pre-order in for future issues, and that was used to judge what series were doing well. Nobody explains this to the average consumer who just wants to read a neat comic. IDW did no work explaining this to new readers. You only know this if you are a Comics Person TM. And a bunch of teen and early 20s new-to-comics people who found and loved MTMTE through word of mouth did not know this, I think! WHY WOULD YOU. THIS IS A TERRIBLE BUSINESS MODEL. (again, there are historical reasons for it; the essays linked explain it.)

This is why Lost Light and Optimus Prime and Til All Are One got the relaunches. An old comics industry standby is to try (and fail) to artificially pump up numbers by relaunching as a new #1 issue and pretend it's a new series to try and attract new readers. That was all editorial fiddling to make the numbers go up. And it failed. Miserably. LL's sales figures infamously fucking tanked compared to MTMTE's early days. It ended at more like 5k a month, which is insta-cancellation levels even for smaller publishers tbqh. I mean that's dire. There were a lot of factors that were at play there. A full analysis is beyond me tbh!

When people say it 'made no sense' to reboot in 2019 and 'cancel their most succesful TF comic(s)' about MTMTE/LL etc, it's just important to know that numbers wise, that is not what happened. Every single IDW TF comic got to cancellation sales numbers and that's what the hard reboot of IDW2 basically was. LL especially was performing atrociously by the standards of its industry (and yes, the comics industry has ludicrous business practices and it's basically impossible to perform well under any circumstances, but that's not the main point here). The cancellation wasn't out of the blue and it wasn't IDW killing off a high performing comic arbitrarily. It cancelled every TF comic performing badly at once; that just happened to be. Like. Every TF comic at the time. And I assume they turned it into a hard reboot because that was like, the one thing they hadn't tried yet.

This got really long, oooops jskhdkjg but. Yeah. Basically, the perception in fandom is often VERY skewed versus what actually happened.

[safyresky]

I'm going BONKERS and can't focus on SHIT this week so plz enjoy this list of wip ideas that I have that Will Not Let Me Rest and Focus on CS

AU in which Winter and Blaise disappear and Jack becomes the legal guardian of an INCREDIBLY angry 1400 year old Jacqueline and 300 year old Fino and Fiera who seem to be stuck in their terrible two hundreds STILL and are on FIRE and have a penchant for blowing shit up all. the. time.

Smile Shot in which Jack and Jacqueline have to chase a piece of fractured time that is hell bent on killing them for some reason through multiple timelines to defeat it, and get stuck with their younger, pre-day of darkness selves 👀👀👀

A series in which the youngest Diteline kid, Robyn, makes a funky cool friend and they go on all sorts of magical adventures that get them both into heaps of trouble. The friend is 100% human. Robyn can set things on fire. Shenanigans ensue. Diteline are acting Cupid and Jack Frost at this point, for maximum shenanigans

AU in which Jack isn't the BAD guy but is INCREDIBLY chaotic. Why? Because in this AU, in fact, the WHOLE REASON I want it to exist, is because I want to see a version of tsc3 in which Jack sees Santa's loosing sight of what's important and decideds "hey, let me help him by forcing him to use the escape clause, taking his place, so he can learn a Valuable Life Lesson about family in a very Dickens-esque way. This results in a scene where Jack explains this plan to Jacqueline after enacting it (so he's Santa) and Jacqueline just stands there, hands on her hips, absolutely furious like, "YOU THOUGHT W H A T?" (tho it does end with Jacqueline being like do u think it'll work. And Jack being like I know it will. And Jacqueline being like FINE. UGH. WHY are you LIKE THIS but agreeing to help nontheless)

Story based on when I thought the series was going to be called "Clause for Celebration" in which, to find a replacement Santa, Scott has a Santa-Lympics where the Legends pick a champion to claim the title of Santa Claus. Unfortunately, he learns too late that he can't pick Charlie. Jack also can't pick Charlie bc he gets BANNED from picking a champion COMPLETELY by the dude who is making sure it's all "fair" (most likely a mischievous evil fairy). Jack finds a loophole--Legates are technically Legendary and by those rules, can pick a Champion if they'd like to. Charlie is a school teacher and is upset about the Santa-Lympics bc he cannot participate. Danielle also teaches and knows about the Santa thing and is encouraging him to do it anyway. She's made friends with the quirky new librarian, Ms. Winters, who has these AMAZING fantasy stories during story time, and tells Charlie to ask her and pretend it's a story. She'd dig it. Ms. Winters does, in fact, dig it, and tells him he should volunteer anyway and maybe someone will sponsor him in a very hunger games-esque way because surely, there are more Legendary figures than just the ones he knows, right? So he does. Guess. guess who sponsors him. GUESS. Shenanigans ensue. Krampus is the BBEG. Diteline get eaten by Krampus. Jacquie commits atrocities. Charlie defeats Krampus. It's great. This one's too developed for my own good, holy hell.

RotG Crossover where the Legates get sucked into the Guardians universe bc of a dumb Pitch plot. Toothiana thinks Myles is the cutest thing! Jack is sus of Jacqueline. North thinks Charlie is v tiny and funny for a Santa. Charlie really wants a Yeti. Xander is super excited to interact with someone who knows SSL (sand sign language). Our Jack pops into the universe to bring back Jacqueline (and the others too, I GUESS) without telling the rest of the Council. When he finally finds his sister a scene ensues where Pitch is like, "YOU'RE Jack Frost. and YOU'RE Jack Frost (points to Jacqueline). ARE THERE ANY OTHER JACK FROSTS I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?" and our Jack goes "Hi." Pitch whips around and gets socked in the face by him. Shenanigans and angst ensue, the latter especially on the rotg side of things >:)

[a-very-tired-raven]

Hello there! I just read your Swatch x Reader headcanons and was wondering Could i possibly get a Spamton x Reader where Spamton is just totally confused on if the Reader genuinely loves him or if its just some sales pitch. Hes been my comfort character for a while so it'd be nice :>

thank you for reading my silly request :]

Hiya broski! Sorry this took a bit to answer! I didn't really know how to approach this ask. I'm new to fics so I needed to take a bit to prepare so I would know how to write this and to get into the lil man's head if that's alright! Hope you enjoy my dude and remember to lemme know if anythings wonky!

●True Intentions ●

"Here you go sir, your order?" He gave a polite nod to the server "Yes thank you." They gave a small smile and walked away. He took a small sip of his drink as he returned to his thoughts. Spamton was....confused to say the least. He met you about a week ago in the alleyway of his shop.

You'd been looking for your pet or something and tried to dig in a garbage bin....Which was actually his shop. That was locked. He just got back with some goods thst he got a nice deal on and all he saw was some stranger pulling on the lock to his shop. He angerly poked on your waist to see what you were up to.

"What are you doing?!"You jumped and awkwardly explained what it was you were doing when he demanded to know what you were up to.

"I uh..lost my pet..I thought I seen her go off this way?" Of course he was still skeptical but put his goods up and helped you look.

Eventually you two did find what you were looking for and you thanked him more times then we could count. Right before you left is when you started the confusion. You awkwardly asked for his number, and when asked why you nervously shrugged and said he was nice and you thought he was cute. Which absolutely baffled him

When was the last time someone complemented him? Let alone ask for his number and want to spend more time again. He accepted of course and didn't think anything of it.

He started thinking about it when he ran into you almost every day for the rest of the week. Everytime you saw him you were thanking him,and trying your best to make small talk.

This included asking him questions, like what did he do for a living,how many sales has he made,what's the biggest deal he's made. All if which he's awkwardly responded to with vague and short answers. This made him even more suspicious. Whyd you wanna know so much about his job and deals?

He hasn't seen you since everyone's moved to the dark town. Maybe he wouldn't see you again. If there's a whole 'nother dark world who's to say there's not more? Maybe you were somewhere else.

The smell of pastries pulls him out of his thoughts a little. Banana nut he thinks. He does admit you are kinda cute.. which brings him to the present. Why him? It's pretty well known he's a business man.

A horrible one at that. He only Ever gets people's attention when they want to get a deal or a-a..a sales pitch...

His fists clench. Of course. Why else would you go after someone like him? You just wanna make a sales pitch. Nothing more then that. You could of just said so. You didn't have to barge in his life like that and lead him on all for the sake of a deal. It all makes sense now!

Who makes small talk like that??? About deals,and sales...why was that the first question to asked? Why not start off with basic small talk?? Why be interested in him? Why him? Why'd you need to know what his biggest sale and deal was! Of all the people...You just wanted a good deal...

He doesn't hear the distant chime of the Cafe bell. He just angrily glares daggers at his own reflection. It wasn't until a shy familiar voice spoke pointedly in his direction did he force his head out of the clouds.

"Hey Spamton! I uhm.. how are you doing today?" You give a soft smile and take a seat in front of him. "I'm fine" He looked the other way. "Um.. " You glance at the window. You look at his order. "Ohh number 7! That's a good one. Moonberry fudge and a gram apple muffin. Nice." You give a soft smile.

He just remains quiet. You seem a little anxious by now. "..weather's nice huh?.." with only a human for a response you start brimming with anxiety. You try a different approach. "I had a good day at work! We didn't have any rude people.." You look at him.

"Uh how about you? How's work? You made any good sales today?" He looks up at you with a harsh glare. "Wouldn't you like to know!" You flinch and your happy aura quickly forms into an apologetic one.

"I-..im-im sorry..I didn't mean to ask anything sensitive.." You give a sorry look. "I didn't did i?" You look down at your hands. Spamtion hesitates for a moment. No.. He..He cant hesitate. He stands up.

"Yes. Yes you did impose. You imposed in my life acting all kind when I know what you really want." You have the audacity to look confused. "What are you talking about?." He ignores you and heads towards the exit. "Spamton? Spamton wait! Please..I just wanna kno-"

Your conversation fades to the back of his mind as he exists the Cafe and heads towards his house. He should have know better. That way it wouldn't have hurt as bad... He gives a soft wave to a wherewire and keeps walking. After a little bit he stops walking immediately when he feels I small tap on his shoulder.

He turns. "What?!" You give a hurt expression and focus on your hands. "I um..I just wanted to apologize for imposing.. I didn't know you didn't like talking about that" He rolls his eyes. "Just leave me alone already. It's pretty obvious you just want to talk business." Confusion crosses your face once more.

"What? What are you talking about?" His fists clench again. "Aw stop playing dumb already! It's pretty obvious you don't like me, Your just after a good deal or you want a chance at being some big shot with a sales pitch!" He didn't realize he was yelling.

Your practically cowering at this point. "I-what! No-No I'm not! Please believe me I really do like you.. I don't even know how to do business like that!" You have your hands up in front of you as if a policeman had pulled you over.

He falters for a moment. He looks back up again when you speak up. Sorta. "Please..is there anything I can do to make you believe me..." You say just barely above a whisper. He just remains quiet. After a moment of shared silence you were fed up.

"Fine then! I'll prove I'm crazy for you! Absolutely bonkers! You hear?!" You grab both his shoulders, "H-Hey! Put me down!" And yank him up and plant a big kiss on his cheek. "Now will you please go on a date with me?!"

Your face is absolutely covered top to bottom with a beautiful shade of red. Both from anger and embarrassment.After a moment of silence you awkwardly drop him. "S-sorry.." you hide your face in the neck if your shirt.

His cheeks are burning a bright peachy color. "Um..it's alright" after a small beat of silence he adds "yes."

You look back down at him. "Yes what??" You look confused. "...yes I'll go on a date with you.." He doesn't think anyone who'd want some deal would go that far. He believes you now and he says so.

Your quiet for a moment. A small smile works its way on your face. "Alrighty come on, I know just the place" you give a small wink and grab his hand dragging him off to who knows where. "W-what now?!" He gives a baffled expression as he tries to keep up.

You turn and look down again "yes now silly! I gotta make sure you belive me 100!" percent!. "A-alright then..." maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all...

ISNSJSS God that was a lot! And toughie! I enjoyed it tho!

[tuckersdeslauriers]

What are your thoughts on Chenford post double date? If we see them split next week, how long will they be riding seperate? I think Ashley will tell Tim she wants him to stop working with Lucy and him listening will make us clowns again. Alexi really loves to bait us and then rip it all away.

hi!

first thing's first: i loved the double date. i loved the episode as a whole. i loved the fact that yet again we saw that lucy is the only person tim feels deeply comfortable around. he's most himself with her – to the point that he literally couldn't go out on a date with his own girlfriend to a place she was excited about without lucy tagging along and talking to him the whole time? absolutely bonkers, i love them so much.

post double date/next week in general are two very different things.

post double date, they're going to keep doing what they're doing. there's a reason chenford didn't have to have a scene post-date where they talked about the date: their dynamic didn't change at all (which is a good thing!) and so they didn't need to debrief about it. chris and lucy's dynamic changed (newly dating) and tim and ashley's dynamic changed (i don't even know what to call it at this point...desperately clinging?) which is why we saw them both have those conversations near the end of the episode. for now, chenford's going to keep being chenford...which i know is probably annoying to some people, but i'm happy about it. they literally showed us that they're more interested in each other than the people they were literally on dates with, but on top of that: tim's the most tim he ever is with lucy. sure, he looked ashley dead in the eye and said, "she's not my partner, i'm her sergeant," but tim is a self-described show-you-kind-of-guy so i'm not really in the business of listening to the things that come out of that man's mouth...especially when he's literally in the midst of saying/doing anything to save his very new relationship. bad for them! we're moving in the right direction, y'all.

next week i expect nothing, the way i expect nothing every week. we know from the stills that they'll speak, and that's literally all i'm going into the episode expecting – especially after such a chenford-heavy ep this past week.

re: this separation thing, i honestly don't know why anyone's clung onto this theory? i get that it would be dramatic and maybe interesting for ashley to give tim an ultimatum, it would create some angst...but honestly? if ashley tries to tell tim not to work with his partner that's a huge red flag, and tim (imo) would never go for that. that being said, i don't know why tim and lucy would just stop working together for no reason – tim's a sergeant, i'm sure he's just working with angela on a case...and the dog thing eric posted was absolutely supposed to be taken as a joke, also imo, so...i don't know. i just don't see validity in it, so i haven't really thought about the possibility.

i have to say, the rookie knows what they have writing to tim and lucy – nothing is more clear after the double date. they not only got to write them in an environment that isn't natural for them and watch them bounce off each other, they then doubled down and wrote them in an environment that is natural for them and watched them bounce off each other there, too. it was incredible to see their dynamic stretch like that and get the confirmation that they are literally just like this all the time. all that is to say: i really think it would be a weird move for them to have chenford stop working together right now unless there are extenuating circumstances we're not aware of!

[inanabsentia]

Dabi and Shigaraki falling for you and them both realising it headcanons pt.1

I keep all of my works gender-neutral.

Dabi would realise that he’s gotta crush on you, at least definitely faster than Shigaraki does because while he routinely represses his emotions, Dabi still recognises when he has a crush. Our handman over here, on the other hand, just doesn’t know how to register that foreign feeling of jittery-ness and chaos reigning deep within whenever he sees you

Boy does it feel like a swarm of butterflies attacking his insides and throwing a massive party without him being invited (I’m not sorry for this) 

Shigaraki initially associates the fluttery feeling with negativity because he didn’t like to feel uncertain! Especially not of himself, of course. 

Instead of actively advancing towards you in the bar like how Dabi did, Shigaraki just decides to observe you for about 2 weeks and figure out what the heck it was. 

Was it the way your eyes fluttered so beautifully even when your stare wasn’t directed towards him? Well, you do have really pretty eyes and that’s the least Shigaraki could admit to himself. 

Or maybe it was how you carried yourself in the league, you were composed yet you’ve got that right touch of crazyness within you. Whether you are actually crazy or not, it was certainly a fact that you were making the leader feel all sorts of crazy emotions that he couldn’t seem to comprehend....

Dabi, on the other hand, was taken in by your first entrance.

What? You looked real cool and pretty cute, too. 

But looking cool and pretty aren’t enough to spark an interest within the flame dude. He never intended to act out on his attraction towards you initially. Yet as the weeks passed by, as he watched you interact with the other league members, he noticed something quite distinct about you. 

You surprisingly got well along with practically everyone in the league. Toga absolutely adores you and always gave you bear-crushing hugs but you never seemed to push away and mind, listening to whatever the crazy blondie had to say about her broccoli-haired crush.

You watched all of marble dude’s tricks with amusement and they never ceased to amaze you for some reason. I mean,, they’re just...blue balls...and weird cards flying around...

Get this, you even got along with Shigaraki out of all people, well he didn’t seem to detest your presence as much despite rarely speaking with you. 

And that night when Twice+Toga suggested a game of Truth Or Dare and made you answer the real reason why you joined the league and decided to pursue villainy. 

Damn, you were so enchanting, delivering your speech about how corrupted heroism was- with the hyper fixation on ‘heroic’ quirks, the over glorification of heroes, all sweeping aside the systemic issues which stemmed from heroes themselves.

That very moment made both men interested in you just a tad bit more (a lot actually)

Anyways, as Shigaraki decided to stay behind at his spot on his usual barstool and observe you for a bit more from a far like a longing secret admirer, Dabi decided he might as well shoot his shot with ya

He walks up to you and starts off with something that doesn’t seem flirtatious and takes you a while to register the true nature of his statement. It was hard to tell with how stoic Dabi looked but it was undeniable- the innuendo, the piercing gaze and the way he raked his eyes over your figure. 

Yeah he was interested in you for a while now

Everyone in the bar overhears it and just stares at him all flabbergasted at the sudden innuendo. Toga and Twice are the first ones to break the silent tension by going absolutely bonkers, shouting out “DABI HAS A CRUSH, DABI HAS A CRUSH OOOHHHHH” “I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, MY SHIP IS OFFICIALLY SAILING THE TITANIC COULD NEVER”  

Shigaraki sees the whole scene unravel before his eyes and a new feeling emerges! But this time, it’s a familiar feeling! 

Jealousy, duh. 

He stands up abruptly, his cup circling and almost toppling over and his looming presence and death glare enough to make the chaotic duo stop raving about you and Dabi, you and Dabi, you and- 

Shigaraki didn’t like hearing that.

Dabi connects all the dots together and realises it all. Upon knowing the leader’s feelings towards you, Dabi scoffed and smirked, nonchalantly swinging an arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer to his warm body. 

“What? Don’t like seeing me with your hot crush?” he teases and casually plays with the strands of your hair just to aggravate Shigaraki more. 

Shigaraki took the sight before him, taking one last look into your eyes and you could’ve sworn that you saw his eyes soften a bit while looking into yours, but they immediately turned into a harsh glare as he redirected them back to Dabi’s hand which was getting closer than he liked. 

 Ultimately, at a loss of words and remotely not knowing how to express himself, Shigaraki turns his back towards the league and left abruptly, which made you feel kinda bad for the leader (although you did nothing wrong) and jabbed Dabi at his ribs, making the blue-eyed man raise his eyebrows in question. 

“C’mon doll, handjob is just being his plain ole self. And what about it? I can do so much more for you anyway if you’d give me the chance,” Dabi tilted your chin towards him and his eyes glimmered with a hint of mischief and adoration. 

You were in for a big time, having 2 men from the league falling for you and pining after you. 

Good luck, it only gets more intense from here ;) 

              END OF PT. 1

                        Written by Inanabsentia

                                       2020

                                           ®️

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