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butchpeabody · 2 years

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I can't think of any specific question but I just really wanna know about the epithet erased toh au. I love both of those things so much.

lucky for you i love talking about both of those things! typing this on mobile tho so im sorry if the formatting is weird

so for starters the epithet characters are going to the isles from their home universe- i havent figured exactly how or why and im vaguely saying another inscribed did it for now. i dont really care about semantics in these sorts of aus usjfjs. they get sent in intervals and end up with different members of the cast.

molly arrives first and, on instinct, think she's trapped in another of lorelai's dream bubbles. she tries to dumb her way out of bonesborough but comes to realize that all of this is. VERY real. hunter realizes there's another human on the isles and thinks, "oh! this'll make my uncle who doesnt hate me happy! come with me!". molly freaks out and runs, and is saved by the bell (the bell being luz with an invisibility glyph.) and taken to the owl house. she explains her situation to everyone there and is allowed to stay until they can figure out how to get her home. she doesnt explain epithets because she doesnt know it would be necessary to do so

sylvie lands in the isles next. he tries his best to adapt to the lifestyles present, wearing his hood up to cover his ears. hes eventually found by raine who takes him in with the batts, and hes GOING to narc on their rebellion before the scope of whats going on is revealed. he like VERY upsettedly resigns himself to a life of crime and manages to nab a palisman from the emperor's reserves (antics occuring with guards all the while involving sleep powder and beefton). he's undercover as the Black Sheep Witch and wearing a cloak to protect his identity pretty quick after raine picks him up. they end up getting on. raine thinks hes a very bright young man :)

giovanni's up next- this is post prison of plastic so he's in vincent murder persona now. as soon as he arrives he starts a scene in bonesborough and ends up being captured by the emperor's coven (not without a fight! nobody on the isles knows what a tomato tastes like so they buy into the lav-acid stuff). when sylvie learns hes caught in the conformitorium hes like UGH. and when raines like oh theres another human staying with eda now do you know her (shows a pic) hes like UGH. he busts giovanni out and since raine cant really be. directly involved with eda sylvie has to drop gio off there. they have a long conversation on the palisman-ride over where they learn to respect each other a little more before sylvie lets gio off and asks him not to tell molly that hes here as well. itd cause more trouble than its worth. then giovanni and molly have a tearful reunion after he almost gets torn asunder by hooty

mera and indus take on a more minor role but when mera arrives shes in TERRIBLE pain and there is NO modern medicine afoot. indus has to run off and search for a healer and ends up finding emira, who heals mera and offers to let the two of them stay in amity's little room in the library. they do this, amity passes the message onto luz that there are more humans in the library, and them and molly/giovanni almost kill each other before they come to an agreement and truce until they can get home. mera gets that sweet sweet healing magic while shes here too- obviously it wont get rid of her epithet (which isnt something she wants in the first place) but having your broken bones be this fixable is REALLY nice, especially in a place that loves to break bones at every turn

trixie and phoenica land next. hunter actually manages to get them to belos this time because phoenica is nice and trixie will go along with her for stuff, and when they get to the throne room philly boy lies through his teeth about how Cool And Awesome his plans for the day of unity are and how they can stay with him until theyre able to get home. phoenica is really excited and trixie. uh.

trixie can see the ghost of every single grimwalker AND caleb surrounding philip's throne. they wave off concern when philip asks her abt it but caleb KNOWS she can see them, and follows her back to her room. trixie wants nothing to do with dou rebellion plans and is already scared as is but caleb does not leave her alone because they are the ONLY PERSON HERE who can see him. he becomes her weird anarchist ghost uncle and they end up feeding information to the batts through sylvie (very hard to keep that part under wraps because of the whole. phoenica future husband thing)

ANNND finally lorelai shows up and manages to pretty successfully assimilate with witch society because of augment. gives herself pointed ears dresses up as a witch. she manages to get heckled into a coven and a sigil (she joins illusions) without realizing what this entails, and since augment already has to do with illusions she doesnt notice anything weird happening. when she and molly meet again itll be REALLY fun

i dont have too much in the way of specific episodes plotted out in full but i WILL say that molly is present for hollow mind...do with that what you will

#cosmo.txt #epithet erased #ee #toh #the owl house #sorry i gave you so much anon i have like NOWHERE else to put these

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ajdrawshq · 3 years

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OK SO I'm here to tell yall about the rarepair I was talking abt earlier aka repliroku (Repliku and Roxas)

I,, would put this under a cut but I dont know how to do that on mobile. Apologies in advance. If someone can tell me that would be nice n I'll edit this as such,, but yeah

(Quick note that I hc repliku as nb and use they/them for them ,, anyway)

So basically how this came to be was I was in the most boring class known to man with the world's most monotone teacher (seriously if it were a competition he'd at least place third worldwide) and I was thinking about Repliku, bc this was around the time that they first slipped into my list of major comfort characters, and I thought itd be cool if they were to be informally adopted by the sea salt trio because of how their experiences relate to each other. Also like, they got those Vibes y'know. Theyd get along I know they would (although at this time I did not realize what exactly Axel did in castle oblivion and. Well. If u know u know but I need to revise Repliku's potential interactions w him now that I've played com). Also because Repliku still has self worth issues and believes themself to just be a copy of Riku, and if any group could help them adjust to life as their own person, especially from experience, it's probably the sea salt trio and it's also because Repliku needs something to do while Sora's gone and everyone else is just Here looking for him so they're getting some new friends now

And that got me wondering abt their individual relationships with each member n all that, and theres some interesting dynamics going on in there especially regarding Xion and them having similar origin stories tho with varying results and with how Axel used to be in castle oblivion with them n all but has changed drastically since, and Then. I thought abt Roxas. I'm gonna be honest I have no idea what exactly it is about the dynamic between Repliku and him that is so appealing to me but in the moment I felt like a total genius and went with it

But like...... is it the shared desire to protect, holding memories of their friends so dearly that it's what kept them going this far? And the way that they both fought so hard to prove they have a right to exist in this world even when they were never meant to be? Being told they are nothing more than the "other", enough that they thought it was true?

Is it the equally hilarious and depressing knowledge that Roxas' relationship with Riku has always been a Little Bit Fucked and now theres ANOTHER ONE (and the slow realization that hey, this kid isn't half bad actually)? (Not to mention Repliku would probably be confused by....... everything that happened when they were stuck in the realm of darkness for over a year. "So why are there 5+ Soras now? And who the fuck are *gestures at over half the cast* these people??")

Or the bastardous shenanigans they could get up to if they put their brain cells together? The way theyd absolutely team up against poor Riku for fun? (by which I mean funny lil pranks n shit not like. murder. Repliku just goes "hey wanna go annoy my brother" and u know Roxas is already halfway there)

The answer is yes to all! They have this mutual understanding of each other, with both the shit they've been through and who they are as people, who and what they value...... they Get It

So like naturally by that point I was like, oh hey, these two would be great friends tbh?

And THEN. I thought. What if they kissed.

Thus the start of me having a rarepair comfort ship that I'm pretty much the sole creator for

And a lot of this ties in with an everyone lives (but Sora's still missing) au I have where those two as well as Xion, Naminé, Vanitas n maybe Ventus form a friend group of their own bc of their shared fucked up lives. They meet up like twice a week bc it's Supposed to be like a therapy thing but they really just hang out n play games n stuff n occasionally open up abt shit and support each other thru it yknow? Basically the average gay friend group at school but like way less drama

#the one who confesses first is a toss up bc it would be whoever realizes and accepts their feelings first #so like. it would take a while for anything to happen lmao #the only way i know how to perceive ships is best friends who kiss im sorry i dont know what romance is #also neither of them know how to flirt on purpose. its funny and painful to watch #axel/lea gets a kick out of it tho #tbh u could ask any ship type question and i could probably answer. ive thought abt them for so long man #so yeah this is a funky lil kh rarepair i like please join my hell of no content except whatever i manage to make for myself #ok honestly my favorite version of their relationship is what they have in the pmd au but thats #a whole other can of. stuff. to open #and now i will proceed to pass out ive been awake for too long

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ally-writes-many-things · 5 years

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Secret Voight (Jay Halstead) S2 Part 1

Summary: The team finally knows that Y/N is Voight's daughter. One secret is out but theres still one secret that's not out. Y/N and Jay's relationship. Will that stay a secret or not? I mean Voight always finds out about things, right? Season two of Secret Voight starts now.

Words: 3179

Requested: yes

Prompts:

Warning or A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long! Been busy with work. But I'm working on part 2 as I'm posting this!

I stood there with my arms crossed looking at my half brother, unimpressed. The only thing that has changed about him from the last time I saw him was his height. "Y/N! Come on!"

You looked away from him, trying to figure out what to say before you looked back at him. "Come on, nothing. I'm not feeding into your habit,"

Justin looked at you as if you had slapped him. "Fine, whatever. You had never helped me and didn't care about me. You only cared about impressing dad and that why you got applied to be on Intelligence,"

You just sat there looking at him like he was the dumbest person on the planet. "Justin, you can try to guilt me all you want but I'm not gonna change my mind,"

He huffs and walked away but stop midway to whoever's car was parked behind him. "You know, you're just like dad,"

Your dad may do some shady things but he is loyal. You rolled your eyes and walked to your car and got into it and screamed out in frustration. When you met Justin, he was alread to lost and you were never clicked with him as you were 'too much' like your father. Him and Voight didn't have a great relationship. You tried to help him over and over, gave him hundreds of dollars but he would blow them on stupid things and you had enough of it. You didn't know what he wanted this time but the way he looked and acted it wasnt anything good. You sighed and drove to 21st.

You walked into Intelligence and you saw Jay start to walk up to you, which you walked past him and to your father's office. His door was open, so you just walked into his office but shut the door. "You need to do something with Justin before he gets killed,"

Your father swirls around looked at you. "Not even a good morning?"

You rolled your eyes. "Good morning. You need to do something with Justin befoe he gets killed,"

Voight puts his hands together and just looked at you. You rolled your eyes. "He called me last night after. Did you know he got out early?"

Voight shook his head. "No. What did he want and when did he get out?"

"Like a month ago, he asked to meet up. The when we did asked me for money and dad, he doesn't look good,"

Voight just nodded and sighed. "Theres nothing anyone can do. I've tried. You've tried. Everyone has tried. Jail obviously didn't do anything,"

You were about to say something but Voight stopped you. "Dont worry about him. We got a case,"

You sighed in defeat, he walked to the door and opened it for you. You just looked at him for a minute before walking out and over to your desk. Voight walked to the middle of the room. "All right, there are two unrelated wire investigations. Surveillance followed three of area central's top-ranking gang targets to this house on Carpenter. Narcotics hasn't gotten anywhere with it, so command staff wants Intelligence on it. Roll out in five,"

Voight took a look around the room before coming downstairs. You grabbed your gun and badge from your desk and started to walk downstairs when Jay walked next to you. "Everything go okay with Justin?"

You didn't answer him and kept walking. Jay whistled. "I take that as a no,"

"You have that right,"

You got into Jay's passenger seat as he climbed into the driver's seat. You looked around to see if anyone was near the truck and no one was there. You leaned over to Jay and turned his head to face you and kissed him. He smiled within the kiss and placed his hand on your cheek. You pulled away after a fee seconds and looked at him. "Sorry, just wedded that,"

Jay shook his head and chuckled. "No need to apologize babe. It's always welcomed,"

You smiled as Jay turned on his truck.

----

You put the walkie up to your mouth and called the team. "We got the main eye,"

Voight came through next. "We're set up to the north. We got the south and a partial of the alley. If anyone goes mobile from the house, we're in position for a take-away. Oh and Ruzek, move closer. See if there's any movement in the house,"

At the same time I saw a someone walk up, Jay did too and he called it in. "Hold up. We got company,"

The guy started to pull something out and you noticed it was a gun before you could call it in, Atwater called it in. "Gun!"

We quickly got of the car and as soon as he did we were under attack. I don't know how lmany there were or how long it took, all I know was it was silent as it the gunfire crease. We walked into the house and started to clear the house. "Clear!"

You and Jay walked into the last room. "Police! Clear!"

You saw someone dead on the floor and other one that was alive. You took notice of the rest of the team coming in minus Ruzek and Atwater. "Hoodie's dead. This one's alive,"

You looked at Jay as you put the walkie to your lips once again. "Charlie 50-21, emergency,"

Voight looked at you like you were crazy. "What? He's gonna bleed out. We gotta put pressure on the wound,"

You pressed your finger back down on the walkie. "Shots fired by the police. Offender down,"

You heard Atwater call you guys into a room and when you got in there, you see specialize specialized ammunition "Cop killers,"

Ruzek stood up and was looking at something. "Hey, look at this,"

You walked over to him. "What do you got?"

"Insulin,"

"Somebody was a diabetic?"

"Or not. Is there a black market for this stuff?"

Jay walked up to us and grabbed the Insulin. "None that I've heard of. But you know what? It's a good place to hide a bullet, though. Nice work,"

-----

You walked up to the board and tapped two pictures on it and then turned to face the team. "This is Edward Jelko, the deceased street-level dealer. This is Peter Thomas Banfill, the offender, currently baking in a coma over at County. Jelko probably thought like we did that Banfill was sitting on something big, went over there to rip him off,"

Antonio walked up to the board and pinned more pictures on the board. "These are M995s, teflon-tipped, kevlar-penetrating rounds. Ballistics has them linked to several recent homicides. And we found 100 of these at the scene. It's for type R insulin, which is a Canadian designation and with any luck, our little surprise visit got the gun runners scrambling, which means they're gonna make mistakes, okay?"

Voight nodded and looked at all us. "Eyes open,"

---

You were typing on your computer, corssrefercing things when Antonio comes back in after going out and talking to his C.I. "Hey! I found the source of the Insulin. A company near Toronto named Markham Medical Supply their sales rep makes a run here every other Thursday. He left at 5:00 this morning,"

You stood up from your chair and walked over to Antonio. "I'm guessing they have tracking numbers on all their products?"

Antonio looked at you. "Yep,"

Voight walked over to you two and nodded. "All right, get those tracking numbers, locate him on GP, and- you already did that,"

Antonio smiled. "Yep, Atwater and Burgess are en route tracking the signal,"

You held out your fist for Antonio to fist bump it and he does. "Nice,"

You were walking to the car to where Burgess and Atwater said they found a body. "This is definitely our sales rep. George Wilenko, 41. He's been with Markham Medical for 17 years. No record, fully bonded, has border clearance. This guy's not your typical smuggler,"

Al pointed at a cup. "You notice the cup?"

You looked over at the cup and saw a lipstick stain. "Lipstick on the lid,"

Jay and you had picked up the wife and had her in the break room after telling her, her husband was found dead. "My mother always called it Murder City but the first time we visited, I fell in love with Chicago. The lake, the river walk. George and I went to the top of the Willis tower. God, I just I can't believe it. Why would someone kill my husband?"

Jay sighed and looked at her. "We think that he was smuggling guns into the country,"

The wife looked at us like we were beyond mental. "George?"

You nodded. "He wasn't killed over Insulin. And on his last trip here, we think his vehicle was filled with these,"

You pointed over at Jay and Jay sat a bullet down on the sink. The wife looked like she was gonna faint. "I'm hallucinating. This isn't happening,"

"Five people have already been killed by them,"

The wife wasnt believing anything we said. "Look, you don't get it. George would never do that ever,"

"How often did you make the trip down with him?"

"Every couple of months. We always stay at the Sofitel. I shop. That's why he dropped me off. They don't have Bloomingdale's in Canada,"

You and Jay share a knowing look.

You and Jay were at Jay's desk, checking out the story that the wife told us wien Antonio comes back into Intellegnce. We got somethin'. These are our bullets. Can you believe the velocity of these things? Forensics traced one round that went through the TV, through the wall, ended up halfway through the engine block of an ice cream truck parked across the street,"

Voight nodded. "Seven homicides and counting,"

While you were listening to them, Jay was still digging. Our widow's lying. Her cell phone provider said she was never at Bloomingdale's. She spent the afternoon up in Edgewater,"

You and Jay walked back into the break room where she was sitting with the door closed. "We're gonna get real honest real quick. Do you recognize these men?"

Jay laid down the photos of the victim of the cop killer bullets. "Oh, my,"

You were getting fed up with her. "Yeah, neither can we. His face was shot off by the bullets you and your husband brought into Chicago. You lied to us. You weren't browsing Bloomingdale's. You were in Edgewater. You and your husband had a nice run, right? You start off with something simple like x or kush, and you got greedy, and you upgraded to gun-running. You got George killed, which makes you an accessory to his murder,"

Jay took a step in front of you at this point. "Y/N,"

You just looked at him but moved so he wasn't in the way anymore. "So we're gonna try this again, only this time the truth,"

She sat down andsighed. "I was visiting a friend. - An ex-boyfriend,"

You rolled your eyes. "If you're gonna lie, put some effort into it for me,"

The wife gave me the I'm not lying look. "Call him. He'll tell you,"

Jay placed a pen and a piece of paper on the table and pointed at it. "Name, number. I want you to take me through your entire day, every stop you made, every person you talked to, everything you did,"

"I already told you,"

You out your hands on the table. "Tell me again,"

She nodded. "We were on the road by 4:30. Didn't stop till we crossed the border just past Ann Arbor. Got some coffee, some gas. Used the washroom. George got a phone call from our nephew-"

You stopped her there. "Who's the nephew?"

"He lives here. He likes to meet up with George Oh, God, Mikey doesn't know,"

You look at her. "Does Mikey have a last name?"

She nodded.

Jay walked up to the board and tapped a picture up as you pointed at it. "Michael Ganz, lives in East Garfield Park, has a record: robbery, possession. Runs with a small crew,"

Jay nodded. "Claire's ex-boyfriend checks out right down to the five hundred bucks,"

The tech analysts came in and stands in the middle of the room. "Got a ping on Ganz's phone, pulled all the numbers he's called in the last 24 hours. All the calls were to the same numbers, a cell phone registered to a Lucky M Pawn and Loan - in Gage Park,"

Al pointed at the tech person. "Lucky M. I know that ding-dong,"

Antonio nodded. "We'll go talk to him. Come on,"

----

Jay left to do something in which he didn't tell you what so you left to go and grab a cup of good coffee. You were coming out of the shop when you saw Justin across the street trading money for something. You placed your coffe cup on your car and walk over to where Justin was. Justin didn't see you til the moment you reached over and grabbed what was in his hand. It was drugs. You gave me a dirty looked before crushing them into dust and throwing them into the dumpster next to you. "Y/N! What the hell?"

You didnt even acknowledged him and started to walk away but he grabbed your arm. You instantly reached over with your free hand and punched him in the face. "Don't ever grab me like that,"

Justin recovers fast as he walked up to you. "Dont throw away something that isn't yours,"

You resisted the urge to strike him again. "Is that why you wanted to borrow money? To buy drugs?"

Justin didn't answer you. You pursed your lips together. "Thought so. You just got out of jail, Justin. Do you want to go back?"

Justin looked at you quickly. "Are you gonna arrest me?"

You shook your head. "With what evidence? I just destroy it. So no, I'm not but the next thing I see you buying or using any type of illegal substances, I will. Now get out of here,"

Justin takes one last look at you before walking away. You sighed as your phone started to ring. You reached into your pocket and answered it. "Voight,"

----

You, Burgess, Atwatter, Voight, the IT person were sitting in the surveillance van after Al got into a car with the suspect. He was calling out directions when his phone got tossed out the window. It was a few minutes after his phone got tossed when they finally stopped. Now we are just waiting for the takedown word. "It's just like Christmas morning,"

That was it, you all jump out of the car and move into the bulding. "Police!"

You and Jay walked around the bulding as you see two people hiding southwest, you called it out to Burgess and Atwater.

---

You sighed as you finished up the paperwork from the case and placed it in a file on your desk. Jay had already left and so did the rest of the team besides Voight. You get up from your desk and grabbed your jacket. You walked over to Voight's office and knocked. Voight turned and looked at you. "I'm headed home,"

Voight nodded. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. I love you,"

You nodded and said I love you too.

---

You walked up to the door and knocked. It was a few seconds befor you heard feet shuffle to the door, you smiled as your grandmother opened the door. "Its late. Everything okay?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I just wanted to come over and I know it's late but I missed you,"

Your grandmother pulled you into the house and then into a hug. She led you into her kitchen where you sat in a chair at the table. She walked over to the coffee pot and turned it on. "How's your father?"

You shrugged. "Same as ever. Jobs going good as well,"

You two didnt say anything else until the coffee was done. She grabbed the pot and a cup. She poured some of the coffee into the cup and sat down. "Are you gonna tell me what's bothering you or am I gonna have to guess?"

You sighed and took a sip of your coffee. "Justin is out of jail,"

She gives you a look, you give her the same one back. "Yeah, I know. Early release. Today, I caught him buying drugs and instead of arresting him. I destroyed the drug and gave him a choice. I know what I was wrong but he's my half brother. I cant let him drown,"

She sits her coffee down on the table and looked at me. "You have a big heart but sometime you gotta let people fall,"

"Its hard grandma,"

"I know but in the long run itll be better for everyone,"

---

You wake up to your phone going off, you groaned and rolled over and you saw that it was a text from Justin.

From: Justin

Thanks for not ratting me out. Dad set up a dinner, you're coming.

You sighed and texted him back.

To: Justin

What if I have plans?"

From: Justin

Cancel them.

You looked at Justin and then at Voight at the table and sighed. You didnt want to be here, you rather be laying in bed wrapped up in Jay's arms. "So this guy comes across the yard. He's all skeezed out on crystal or something and he says, he says, chicken pot pie. Like I'm supposed to know what that is, right? So my boy looks at him, points back at the block and he says, that way. Did not matter what this cat was on. He just doubles back to where he came from lickety-split, you know what I'm saying?"

You pursed your lips together as Voight looked at his son. "Hey, J, listen, I got some news. Um I had to pull some strings, but I got you in at the CTA,"

"That's where that's where city workers send their loser relatives,"

Justin looked at you for help but you shrugged. "It's a job. And it'll help you get back on your feet,"

He gives you a look which you ignored. "You know you sound more and more like him every day, right?"

You rolled your eyes. "You start Monday,"

"Okay, pop, sure,"

Voight's phone started to ring and he gets up to take it. "Excuse me, I gotta take this,"

You and Justin didn't talk while he was gone. He comes back and placed money on the table for the check and looked at you. "We gotta roll,"

#jay halstead x you #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #chicago pd #kevin atwater #antonio dawson #kelly Burgess #adam ruzek #hank voight #secret voight

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daisy--sorbet · 4 years

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heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it.

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity.

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy?

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent).

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?).

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″ (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe.

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned.

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene.

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there!

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed.

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad.

#taz grad hate #taz graduation hate #Anonymous #ok im gonna go to sleep now goodnight #maybe ill wake up to hate tbh that'll be wild

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minijeong · 4 years

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i just read some of your dance analysis posts and whoa you're so cool skdjhsdf !!!!!!! well i was wondering, since fiesta has been out for quite some time and they also posted the dance practice vid, what are your thoughts on it choreo-wise?? u should answer this only if u have time though!!! (ps i love ur posts btw! they inspire me to make gifs too hehe keep it up! ^^)

HAHA thank you!!! i appreciate you appreciating my thoughts adkfjsa come join izonetwork if you want to hear more 🥰

i actually went wild about the choreo when it came out so i guess this is a good opportunity to re-evaluate now that i’m calm LOL. thoughts below the cut!

(yall insp me to make gifs too 😭😭)

to sort of premise my thoughts on the dance, i want to say that i really think fiesta set a new standard for gg dances. most of the time, gg dances that are praised are honestly not tHAT interesting to me… not to say that their work is for naught, but as someone who has seen a lot of dances of different levels, gg dances tend to fall flat in choreography and execution. ggs are usually not taught to use grooves or textures as basics, and companies dont want to spend effort teaching them to do so. then they are restricted to choosing choreographers that tend to make choreographies with “arms and legs”, and barely any torso movement besides basic body rolls or chest rolls. on top of that, they are usually given restricted outfits that make the dancing even more underwhelming for me and then i just prefer bgs for dance :( to be honest, even recent gg dances that people have been wowed at have not really been… that interesting for me either because of execution or choreography or both, but i dont want to mention them because i dont want to disregard the work of any idols! i respect them all and hope you will just take my word for it haha

i just watched the dance practice again and honestly the first thing that i think of is that the choreographers really put a lot of time and effort into this. usually to keep things dynamic, i try to change formations every 8-16 counts in a competitive set. this isnt usually something you see in kpop, but the choreographers had a lot of formation changes going on every 8 counts, and most of them werent just simple center or window changes… very nice. the use of stage was nice as well, and varying the number of members on stage at once is a good way to keep things dynamic. there are also points in the choreography that match the lyrics with movements that would normally be cheesy, but it ended up not being cheesy because the formations were so nice e.g. yujin’s first line using a waking up gesture, but having the other girls do level changes and fan their arms out… i enjoy that a lot

another thing i want to comment on about the choreography that is kind of rare to see in gg dances is the use of textures and how the musicality changes. to understand this, the intro is a good example. if you really listen to the music and match it with the choreography, you can tell that the choreographers try to follow a different instrument every 4-8 counts, and this is something i really value and look for as a choreographer. the choreography for fiesta isn’t just a simple one that follows an 8 count strictly (e.g. one that would probably look fine to any song as long as you follow the beat), and i appreciate that a lot

at the same time, izone gets equal credit, because theyre able to see it and interpret the choreography in relation to the music, showing that they have understanding and appreciation of textures and musicality in dance. i think this can be attributed to chaeyeon eunbi and yena and this is an asset in making a dance performance interesting

the only feedback i have about the choreography is that the formations are usually centered and the girls are usually brought up one by one either by walking up or being hidden behind a member that goes down when it is their part. it would be a lot more interesting if the attention was moved around with more variety, like having the attention move from one side of the stage to another. when done well this could be very interesting. the only place i see this happen is minju’s part at the beginning of the bridge

moving away from choreography, and before i talk about the girls, i just want to mention that i feel the stylists are very mindful about izone’s mobility while dancing this comeback. the outfits are generally easy to move in, and the part that stands out to me the most is the shoes. in the comeback show, they were wearing boots, which are easier to dance in than other shoes that ggs usually wear. in the other stages where the stylists have them wear heels, those are the best heels you can wear for dancing lol (boot heels). a lot of dancers i know who have to dance in heels use boot heels because those are the most comfortable to dance in, and give proper ankle support to keep you safe. i also found that the outfits from the comeback show (although many people thought they werent flattering for the girls individually) worked really well with the dance, like when the camerawork showed an arial view

ok now for izone

i think for this comeback, my favourite member to watch is yena. this choreography has a lot more musical complexity this time around, and i think this is yenas greatest strength. to kind of show what i mean, i watch yenas fancam and see how well you can hear the music from her movements, and then watch another member, and it just doesnt match the same. (but also i have a weird thing where i can basically “hear” when someone moves, so it might be a personal thing lol. try it out anyway!).

another person i notice is eunbi. normally the choreography and concept is softer or cuter, so eunbi hasnt really been able to show off her strength, but there are parts in this choreo that let eunbi really go off and it feels like she literally slaps me in the face when she hits lol. good example of this is in the comeback show at her last part… that hip hit… i actually felt like she punched me lol… thats when i realized that eunbi could beat me up in an instant she is so strong lol…

other things i noticed… hitomi sakura and nako’s musicality has improved, yujin is learning to dance as a tall person (match your levels with shorter people… it’s a skill LOL), hyewon and nako are learning to put more strength in their movements (my heart flipped when i saw), and izone is really unified when they are in good condition. i say good condition because idk about you, but in the first week of their performances, watching them made me feel kind of uneasy. i could feel their anxiousness from the way they moved and from the looks in their eyes and i could eunbi being dizzy and losing balance and it made me sad… esp compared to comeback show. in comeback show, you can see that they have the same fire in their eyes, that they really are performing as one, and thats honestly what you want to aim for when you are dancing as a group

but for the show, izone really hit different… the fire was coming back and i watched it like ten times… i think the best part is seeing the fire in the eyes of members you dont really see it from, like minju and nako. not to say that they dont perform well because this isnt what i mean at all, but their intensity and focus made me feel their genuine effort on stage and i loved it. theres just a Look that dancers have when their condition is good and they’re performing better than usual. and there’s just this Vibe that a team gives off when things are going Right. it’s really hard to explain because it’s not really something you practice, but it’s just when your hearts match and everyone is on the same page and when you dance with your team the energy you share with your team and the energy you have on the stage is literally TANGIBLE. there is really no other way i can find to explain it, and im honestly normally a super sciency person… but this is just something i will never be able to explain…

the only thing about that performance was that they performed with such energy and intensity that they kind of lost it after the bridge LOL. there are times in choreographies when you’re really tired and theres a resting point and ur adrenaline dies down a bit and ur like shit im tired LOL. and you can kind of see that happen… yena seems tired, and then the formation kind of gets messy,,, but it’s understandable because that jumping is tiring looool

if i had to give izone some constructive feedback:

the pathing for some of the arms in certain parts of the choreo are not the same, so it gets a little messy and loses effect. i know this is something they can fix if they know how to though, since there are other arm parts that are very clean

the timing for some of the canons need to be cleaned up.. i understand this is very hard though. the choreographers gave them pretty quickly timed canons that dont really follow any part of the music. this is generally really hard on the people in the middle vs. the people at the beginning and end who have it easier knowing exactly when to start and stop their movement (google dance canon if you dont know what im talking about)

it would be best if izone learned to pace themselves throughout the performance while keeping the focus and intensity. e.g. if youre going hard all the time, youll run out of energy real quick, so usually when dancers perform they kind of gauge when they put in 80% effort vs 110%, so the performance can have ups and down, and they wont get tired that much. this is honestly hard though and im still working on it hehe i get excited really easily and then halfway im wheezing like holy shit i shoulda calmed down LOL

to make things cleaner, it would be best if some members adjusted their height more e.g. wonyoung esp when they are near nako LOL it’s tough but yea it’s a skill… i got yelled at for like 6 months before i learned so

some formations need to be adjusted e.g. the last one, yuri and hitomi need to move out a bit to adjust to the formation change for the end formation. sakura is actually quite attentive and readjusts her formation mid movement to fix the line - this just needs to happen on the other side now

some random things i noticed:

yena has clean hands and arms and i appreciate this

their facial expressions change collectively at some parts e.g. minju’s first part, they all start smiling and their dance gets light and it’s cute. also during yenas rap in so curious they collectively get more serious and i like that uwu

if chaewon stomps on me one more time in the beginning ill probably cry

i really like the crossing behind wonyoung with their arms up (at the beginning) that goes into the hits (yena hits HARD) and then the hair flip canon (this is always so good omg)

my dance friend acknowledged this choreo, like its good can confirm

that leg part where they go down in the chorus is hard lol i was talking to my dance friend like yea if i had to do that in a set id quit like i cant man LOL

i miss chaeyeon’s chest hit that was in the mv during her part she doesnt do it anymore :cry:

more members are figuring out how to spot during spins and SO AM I i feel an emotional connection LMAO

after wizones were worrying about members’ knees, they started being more cautious when doing the floor part and i thought that was the sweetest thing ever

if youre still here, thanks for coming to my ted talk and thanks for supporting my blog and caring if i have time etc etc etc my anons are always always so sweet qq

#anon #replies #dance #dance analysis #i still cant believe i have a tag for this but asdlfkajslakj #thank you for stopping by thank you thank you thank you #for the other asks im sorry but gonna have to reply another day... need to sleep asap #love yall #good night!!!!

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vaguelygeiszlerian · 4 years

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1 to 50

ok i just saw this existed, i live on tumblr mobile where i ignore the activity tab and scroll endlessly, bear w me

Animated character that was your gay awakening? uhhhhhhh,,,....,,,.. if i remembered anything abt my childhood i would tell u, im gonna say rukia from bleach because i want gorgeous short people to step on me

Grilled cheese or PB&J? peanut butter Always... tho if it was a fancy grilled cheese (there is a special preparation).... i would be torn

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? it really depends! i bounce around, i watch a lot of baumgartner restorations, i watch a LOT of nyx fears video essays on horror movies i would never watch, i watch longplays of, like, nier automata bc im still delighted by cryaotic?

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? i dont really get to order a lot of drinks at bars, itll depend, if im with friends ill order as many things off the cocktail menu as my money allows, if im with my parents ill order long island iced teas or whiskey and lemonade

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? i literally own like 3 pairs of shoes, one of which being the only pair i can actually safely wear haha.... but my favorite pair is the black red and gold converse that dont fit anymore but still remind me of high school

Top three cuisines? mexican, italian, whomever the fuck invented kasoundi

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? yeah as said above i have no clue about anything about my childhood so idk i think mum said once that my first proper word was just ‘no’ which sounds abt right

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? idk if my last job counts? i mean i used to do all round garden labor stuff until my pain got worse and i literally couldnt anymore so i got relegated to desk work

Look up. What’s directly across from you? oh a container of pesto i didnt like the flavour of and just... forgot to throw out.... i will do that tomorrow

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a rwby poster signed by ray and jack? its p cool

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? preferred right now? wrapped in a metric fuckton of blankets w my partner

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i..... dont like bagels

Brunch or midnight snacks? i live a weirdly scheduled life, midnight snacks and brunch are interchangeable to me now, so both

Favorite mug you own i..... dont really have one? all of my actual mugs that are mine have my deadname on them haha

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? overbrewed black coffee that someone left to go cold before dumping six packs of sugar in

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) ‘ And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me ‘ bc we all love a bit of mitski when we are feeling the self isolation creeping in

Fruity or herbal teas? fruity teas only! or rather i drink fruit tisanes! but if you mean actual tea then herbal, i only drink peppermint tea

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? fruits basket! everyone watch the reboot

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? all the books i read for class sucked but medea wasnt so bad

Do you match your socks? only when theyre very fun patterned socks, and even then sometimes i will match them to the wrong pair but the same pattern, aka my double watermelon combo (i have a pair of green socks w watermelons and a pair of black socks w watermelons so)

Have you ever been horseback riding? no and i never will because i am fucking terrified of horses

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) uh.... uh i mean im not sure if it counts as a phase but i was stupid into vampires (to the point of me and my friends constructing the intricate theory that our teacher was a vampire and we had to kill her by the time we graduated (she was not and we did not and i hate all of those people now) i was just the weird conspiracy kid i guess, we used to spend every lunch staring across the oval at a house we were SURE an alien lived in (it was just a plastic bag being rustled by a fan)

Have you ever been to jail? bkdnbrb god no

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? im a lazy susan

Puzzles? i cant solve a rubiks cube but give me a 2000 piece jigsaw and ill sit there for 6 hours trying to solve it

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? oh this is tough..... orange juice, the fancy kind but with no bits in it, i used to like the bits but these days i just want a clean juice experience

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? ,,,,,,the ya fiction section, i never buy anything from there but i like to see if series i read as a teenager ever got new instalments after i stopped liking them

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? how to sleep like a normal person

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? uh, it depends! lizzo or my playlist of musicals! (which is literally just starkid/tcb stuff)

Where could someone find you in a museum? i could literally be anywhere, probably in front of some old piece though, just staring for an hour bc im struck by the majesty of it (and my legs probably locked up so i couldnt move anyway)

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? so i have a nice white button up and some really nice jeans i just got, and my suspenders, and my cool blue heels that i know i cant wear bc my legs cant handle walking in heels anymore, but it would look cool am i right

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? i look up at my roof which is almost entirely covered in glow in the dark stars and then stare into the camera (i wish every day that my roof was like the roof of the healthy harold van, i still have fucking dreams of that beautiful ceiling)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? non traditional? id want a lizard that could curl round my shoulders like a leathery scarf

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i dont have any photos on my wall so art by default

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i just want the pensive emoji tattooed in the small of my back so if i wear a crop top everyone has to suffer with me

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with fuck superheroes they suck, can i hang out with jason todd red hood style

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? oceans, i want to go to the beach so fucking bad

Favorite mid-2000s song i dont really have a Big Favorite but like..... i constantly thank god for esteban

How do you dress when you’re home alone? ive been in the same sweatpants and old paint shirt i got from my painting and decorating course for three days

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? armchair closest to the kitchen, perfect to make a quick escape if dad comes in

Knives or swords? knives, i dont have the upper body strength for swords

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving? oh uh run away with me by crj, *bwoooooooo buhnuhnuuuuuu buhnuhnuuuuuhhh buhnuhnuuuuhhhhh*

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY CERTAIN PARTS FROM EACH OF THEM BC COLLECTIVELY THEY SUCK BUT PARTS OF THEM ARE PERFECT

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? no caption i dont want people to really acknowledge that i post things

Name a classic Vine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anQds9PQ7CA

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? hash browns hash browns hash browns ONLY

How do you top your ice cream? god its been so long since ive been able to eat ice cream.... with the reeses peanut butter ice cream shell topping

Do you like Jello? jelly is the pinnacle of our society and i wish i were eating it right now

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? i wish i had a picture of myself and my partner so i could set it as my phone lock screen (that or i wish i had a picture of me and a friend i really dearly miss bc i have pics of her in my phone but not of us together and i want some but i cant bring myself to say so)

How are you at climbing trees? theres a tree in my front yard i used to be able to hang off but nowadays i think id hurt myself just trying to lift my nasty meat sack off the ground trying

#long post #christ that took like 3 hours #i dont know things about myself #thanks for asking though #Anonymous

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two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat · 4 years

Text

CW: transphobia, homophobia. Also pretty long and I'm on mobile so I cant put a read more thing on it.

Ok so this is kind of a personal post so if you don't wanna hear about some of my personal drama, just scroll along. But I feel like I need to get this shit on record somewhere since I don't have the screenshots of the texts this is concerning anymore.

So a little over a year ago, I told the person who'd been my best friend, we'll call her E, since I was about 9 that I didnt want to be friends with her anymore. More on that later.

Back in senior year of high school I started thinking I might be Bi. I brought this up to E and she was super dismissive right off that bat. Saying that I wasnt, sounding like she was trying to console me. Like being Bi was this awful thing that I needed to worry about.

Well fast forward about a year and a half and I went up to my college with her so I could do new student orientation since I was starting the next semester. This is when the fact that I was Bi sort of smacked me in the face because the girl doing my orientation was super hot. I immediately knew I wouldnt be telling E that.

Fast forward to march of 2017. Its spring break. I've reconnected with my high school friends. I've never felt the need to hide my sexuality from them and they were instantly nothing but supportive of me. We never really hung out outside of school back in high school (or in elementary school either in Eric's case.) I start realizing that I've been having more fun with them then I ever did with E. And I finally had people to geek out about sciencey stuff with because E doesnt believe in science but eric LOVES science. It was nice.

Well a couple weeks after spring break me and Es mutual friend Althea asked me to drive her to the shelter so she could get her boyfriends cat fixed (it's way cheaper there then at the vet) and spent the day hanging out with her because she WAS planning to walk back there to pick up the cat afterwards and I was like "uh no. I'm not gonna make you walk across town by yourself." So I finally got to meet her boyfriend. Well that afternoon E came and picked me up to go up to the KU campus to get some more bus passes to go to our college in KC because our school was out of bus passes and didnt know when theyd get more.

Here's when I kinda started to realize I should maybe get out of this friendship. On the way to campus E starts telling me about her day at school and how "theres a girl that used to be a guy in one of my teachers other classes. It's making me uncomfortable."

Me: "that sounds like a you problem, E."

Now I knew she kind of thought that way already. She may not have said shit like that around our other friends but I had to hear it a lot. But because I'm pretty nonconfrontational and she was my only close friend outside of school and I was terrified of being alone, I usually just ignored it or politely debated her about it but generally just agreed to disagree. This was the first time I ever decided to speak up to her about it. Unfortunately I couldnt say much cuz her mom was the one driving us and i knew she agreed with everything E said.

But I'd been hanging out with althea and her boyfriend (who just so happened to be trans) all morning so suddenly having to hear E talk about how uncomfortable trans people make her got me more fired up than usual.

After this I slowly started distancing myself from her. I'd been hoping for a few years that she'd grow up and accept that not everyone is like her and try to be more open minded and accepting of people. Apparently that wasnt happening.

I stopped responding to her texts as often. I was trying to think of a way to talk to her about it but all my past friendships that fell apart, did so naturally and on a silent mutual agreement. So I was half hoping that would happen. Pretty stupid. Dont recommend. Just be straight with people.

After a few months of me only answering her texts every once in a while, she decided to start calling me multiple times a week. Often while I was at work. Sometimes from her mom and sisters phones when I wouldnt answer from her number. Idk y she thought that would work. She knows I hate talking on the phone.

I still didnt know what to say to her. I probably should've just told her I needed some space and she might've backed off for awhile so I could figure it out. But subway stressed me tf out. And i have no idea how you're supposed to end a relationship with your best friend of over 10 years.

(Also some of my other reasons for not wanting to be friends with her were specifically because of althea and I didnt want althea to get dragged into it. Unfortunately it ended up happening anyways. But basically back in highschool, if we were planning for all four of us (me, e, althea, and nikki) to get together, and nikki would have something come up, E would tell althea our get together was cancelled but would still have me come over and then made me promise not to say anything to althea about it.)

Around march or april of last year I blocked her family's numbers. This is when they started showing up at my work. The first time it happened I had a long ass line and was helping my coworker get through it before I left. Her sister came in by herself and just asked how I was doing but left pretty quick after she got her sandwich since it was busy. A couple more times they came and just parked outside like they were waiting for me to get off my shift but ended up leaving. The last time it happened E came in while I was there alone and I really didnt wanna have THAT conversation while i was at work alone and her crazy overprotective mom was out in the car waiting for her. So i made her sandwich very quickly so i could get her out as fast as I could.

I was planning on finally talking to her around the end of april but was still having trouble figuring out what to say.

Unfortunately any plan I had to let her down easy was sort of thrown out the window on may 13th of last year.

My mom texted me that morning about how she got a weird call from Es aunt. On her work phone. This is basically how that call went:

"IS THIS OLIVIAS MOM?????"

My mom, suddenly worried it's my work and something happened to me, "Yes?"

"Why isnt olivia talking to E anymore?"

"............I dont know."

So that kind of crossed a line for me. It really freaked my mom out.

I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when I'm mad or stressed out tho. So my friend Alice ended up writing out the text for me and I read through it to make sure it was ok.

Basically it said "I'm sorry but I dont think we can be friends anymore. The way you talk about the LGBT+ community makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially seeing as I am bisexual and have several friends in the community. The way you used to exclude althea from hanging out with us because you think shes annoying and then expect me to lie to her about it makes me uncomfortable. It was inappropriate to show up at my work unannounced to corner me into talking to you when I needed space. And it was even more inappropriate for your relatives to call my mom at work. I'm sorry I didnt say something sooner but I'm tired of pretending I'm ok with everything you've said over the years."

Then her mom texts me. I dont remember all of it but the gist was "you're a horrible person. E never judged you or anyone else (sure, miss "gay people are gross. I can see how conversion therapy might work." Totally isnt judging anyone and 100% cares about the lgbt+ community.) The only reason she did those things is because she was worried about you."

Then E left me a voicemail that I couldnt understand at all cuz she was crying and I felt terrible even tho everyone was telling me I shouldn't. Now I probably should've taken out the part about althea because it effectively threw my "not wanting to get althea involved" plan out the window. Honestly what really pissed me off about this next part both made me pissed at E but also at myself. E removed herself from the group chat I had with her, nikki, and althea. Blocked althea on Facebook and blocked her number. Didnt bother to explain why. I still feel terrible about this even tho althea has told me many times that it's fine and if she'd had to pick a side she wouldve picked mine. But I still felt like she at least deserved an explanation.

Alice told me to screenshot the texts. I almost didn't cuz I just wanted to forget about all this. But I did.

Anyways life moved on. Eric got a new phone and gave me his beat up galaxy s7. I stuck my s6 into a drawer and let it die and forgot about it.

Then on new years I got a call from althea. Not weird at all. She calls me every major holiday and birthday. Shes done this every year since junior year of high school.

Normal phone call at first. But then she says that her mom has been talking to E's mom. Apparently E's mom told altheas mom that I told E that althea hates her and thinks shes a terrible person and that's why E hasnt been talking to althea. Althea of course didnt believe that but wanted me know about it. This prompted me to try and charge up my old phone and get the screenshots off of it. I had it plugged in for a couple of days and it never turned back on. So that's out apparently.

That's also why I felt the need to get all of this written down. It may not be as great as having the actual screenshots but I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when confronted so I want to have something written down in case any of this comes up again.

#cw: transphobia #cw: homophobia #i needed to get this out while i could actually put it into words #this is the first time in a while that i actually can #personal #homophobia #transphobia #i never post stuff like this so hopefully im tagging it right

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jisokai · 6 years

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Okay I think requests are open right? Can you please write what would the RFA+Minor Trio do when MC is mad at them and doesn’t look or talk to them? And if they are with friends or other people she basically pretends they aren’t there at all? I hope this isn’t confusing ;; have an amazing day! 💗💗

ohhh boyy can i hold a grudge,, but im also very sensitive so based on the person im either a ball of bottled rage or a fucking mess sdhskd… thank you for being patient and i hope you enjoy

rfa+minor trio with an mc who gives them the silent treatment when angry

(also im trying new formatting to make it better for mobile users so please just bear with any changes)

yoosung

HE FEELS SO FUCKING BAD

immediately trying to apologize and make things up but you just shut him out and walk away

he hopes it’ll blow over by the end of the day but nope

youre at home and STILL ignoring him poor baby hes gonna cry

and he does!! he doesnt know what to do and he just wants to make sure everything is okay between you two!!

and youre not expecting him to run into the room and cry, begging for forgiveness and yelling not to break up

but it makes you melt and soften, sighing and reaching to embrace him

you have to just hold him for a moment to reassure his confidence

it really just turns into a “reassure yoosung that he is loved” situation and you cant even be mad anymore awaeew

zen

he can put up with it well

almost sees it as a game in public

but then you get home,,

and its?? still going???

he then realizes how serious and upset you are and he feels reallyyy bad

he tries to let you cool down for a while before coming in with a proper apology

he doesnt like waiting things out and will try to fix things asap

but hes also glad you have a way of sticking up for yourself and showing him when he needs to step off his box and apologize

jaehee

she takes things seriously

so her first response is to get down to the problem immediately

but when she realizes you wont even respond

she decides to leave you alone so you both can wear it off

but then shell come in and force you to listen to her apology (or lecturing you to stop being childish, all based on the situation)

itll pass over quickly

she always takes arguments seriously and doesnt like waiting it out

jumin

he likes the sassiness tbh

kind of a cat and mouse game? smugly trying to get you to talk back to him

but when you never give in or even smile at his antics, he shuts off the act and is very genuinely trying to get your attention

when you still dont respond, he resorts to letting you be for a moment

and if in public, he lets you talk to your friends without trying to get your attention to let you cool down

but when youre alone again or had time to chill, he comes up to you with a formal apology

it makes you crack and reply to him, which makes him so happy

he was lowkey really worried dkjdskj

and he gives you kisses and gifts to try and reclaim his love again

seven

jokes

why.. why arent you replying to the jokes???

when he sees how serious and stubborn youre being, he softens a little and tries to coax the words out of you

not one for giving you tons of space and time, but instead tries everything to get a reaction

compliments everything about you, apologizing over and over, offering everything he can

when you still dont say anything, he gets really worried and tears may end up in his eyes

and crying seven makes me break so it makes you break too

you give in to vent about whatever it was he did and hes just so happy you spoke to him that he cant even feel bad sdjskjd

will be quick to fix whatever it was and get back to the loveyness,,,

saeran

hes holding a grudge too

silent treatment royalty

its kind of a competition now oh god

but he starts to crumble easily and tries to get your attention without being obvious

but you cant handle anything right now, pure rage blinding you from anything he does

and he just wants to go back to normal now but you still wont back down

so when he gently tugs on your sleeve and looks at you will such sad eyes

fuckkkkkkk

silent treatment who? idk her lol

(HOLY SHIT I GOT DEJA VU TYPING THAT WOAH)

when he gets in that kind of mood, you know he needs you, so you manage to put the fight away and comfort him

but hes like this because of the fight, so it gets resolved in the end

honestly doesnt even realize its silent treatment at first

after you argue, he just naturally gives you space so he doesnt realize youre holding a grude

WHICH JUST MAKES THE GRUDGE WORSE GRRRR

when he comes back with an apology and resolution, you cant even be mad???

he never even realized you were giving him the silent treatment??

he so quick to resolve things now you dont have time to guilt him

honestly just please never do that to him he doesnt deserve it

hes been through enough okay

vanderwood

just tsks and walks out of the room

theyre probably doing the same, but they let it go quickly

so when they ask what you want for dinner and theres no response, all they say is “youre doing that stubborn bullshit now?” and walk out

and now you dont have any fucking food because you never told them what you wanted

honestly you couldnt get much out of them

theyre too stubborn as well

maybe if its really extreme, theyll offer a curt apology and awkward hug thing

thank you for reading!! i hope you liked it

masterlist

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neotericbitch · 5 years

Text

a sequel to DarqAnon

part the first

It’s quite abusive, there I said it, how you’re allowed to force a ritual onto a child, whether it be reciting an anthem or staring at the sun, before their brain has developed enough to comprehend the significance. In fact, doing so makes it more likely that as the child grows up, they will never truly find meaning in the action! How sad is that? I’d never force anything on my son.

Growing up, staring into the sun was something I never understood. For a long time I didn’t, I couldn’t conceive of the satisfaction or happiness my family derived from it. It meant something to them, so they tried to teach it to me, but it never meant anything to me. I understood that the sun was their god, but because I never truly believed, I couldn’t grasp how or why it would be important to them to stare up at it, burning their eyeballs out of their sockets. Their god was sending a clear message, do not look at me. Why would they do it anyway?

Oh, but - do keep in mind that that’s all in the past. I understand now. I understand perfectly.

Valkyrie Cain has the most brilliant black eyes. Truly, her every feature is marvellous, her sharp nose, her expressive mouth - but I always go back to the eyes. For Crandall, it’s her hands. They’ve shared many times over many meetings, to the point where I find it very annoying, that they want nothing more than to feel her hands on the sides of their head before she crushes it. I think it’s a nice little fantasy to have, just stop telling us about it. I have only ever shared what I wanted two, maybe three times. That’s an acceptable amount of times! Any more is overdoing it, Crandall! Crandall, I know you’re listening. I’ve been able to feel it even when a very good Sensitive is in my head, Crandall, and you are not a very good Sensitive.

Beside me they turn their head away. Why would they want to listen to my thoughts, anyway, when Valkyrie is here? I suppose I understand their hesitance. Darquesse, goodness - Darquesse wouldn’t stand for anyone hearing her thoughts, absolutely not! To attempt it on her would be a high offence. But Crandall, if you’re still listening, I’d say go ahead for the time being. Darquesse isn’t here. Not yet.

Looking at her, it all makes sense. I want to call up my mother and tell her I understand, I understand wanting - needing! - to look at something, even if it does not want you to. The sun may try to blind you. Valkyrie may glare and scream and curse. But you simply cannot look away.

I cannot call up my mother, of course. She has been dead for a hundred years, and I’m busy right now - and I don’t think there’s mobile phone reception here anyway.

For this week’s Thursday meeting, 6 to 7:30, we have made a temporary move from the community hall to the vault, generously donated for DA’s use by Nicki, who we had to murder. Dear girl, she didn’t want to let me hold the meeting here this week. I suggested it at the end of last week’s meeting and everyone was very excited. A hundred meters beneath the spot where Darquesse opened her portal to another dimension and disappeared - we’re so lucky to have this place! Of course everyone wants to come here whenever we have the opportunity! But Nicki said no. Nicki said to me, “Isserley, these meetings have been really great, you are a good organiser and I’m very happy to have met everyone, but I think what you’re planning is wrong. Please return the vault key to me.” So we had to kill her.

And here we are tonight, and I almost wish Nicki were here so I could say, to think you didn’t want this! The meeting is going very well, I think it’s our best one yet. 6:40 and we’re just about to finish setting up, we’re a neat little group of people. We won’t go over time at all! I’d like to say that I, being an incredibly organised person, have been a good influence on my fellow DA-goers.

Salma finishes painting the symbol on the ground. Her designs are ugly, but she has a steady hand and knows how best to use the petrol paste, a very special concoction. No one else could have done this job - though I must admit, I am a bit envious. Easy, Isserley! Remember, your job is the most important. Without you, this wouldn’t work. Without you, Valkyrie would not even be here.

Salma reaches for Valkyrie. She thrashes wildly - and I can’t say I blame her! I wouldn’t want Salma to touch me, either! Haha. But it really won’t do for her to behave this way, we really need her complete cooperation, so I motion to Respite at the wall and he turns the crank, tightening the chains attached to the bound cuffs at her every limb. She is pulled tight, and by the sounds of it it’s not a very comfortable experience, but now she is tense and mostly still - perfect for Salma to draw the symbol on her wrists and stomach.

She puts up a hell of a fight when Respite disconnects the chains from the wall and reconnects them to the floor, at each corner of where the symbol has been painted so she is now seated in the centre. I can’t help but smile! She reminds me of one of those beautiful shrine maidens. If only I’d thought of that earlier. I would have put this off one more week and gotten an outfit made. But the clothes she put on herself this morning are more than lovely. Darquesse will like them. Darquesse will like being back.

Valkyrie keeps straining and trying to get up, the poor dear! I wish I could go over there and pat her face, like I used to pat my son’s when he was resisting me - I wish I could tell her everything will be alright. But I know, even chained and without magic, she could certainly find a way to kill me if I were within reach. And I don’t want her to kill me until the ritual is complete, of course! Otherwise what would be the point?

“I don’t even know,” Valkyrie growls - what a good word for it! Indeed, she is doing her very best to sound deep, dark and scary. Soon it will come naturally. “I don’t even know what you think this will do. It’s not a full moon, or a blood moon, or any kind of moon. It’s not a magical day, it’s not a holiday, it’s not even a day that means anything to me.”

It’s my birthday, but don’t tell anyone that. It’s my special little secret, my gift to myself.

“This sigil is totally made-up. It’s not going to do anything.” She tries to raise her hand to her face to wipe off some sweat, but the chain is too short. “Let me go and I’ll make it quick - because when Skulduggery gets here, he certainly fucking won’t.”

I crouch down to be on her level, and I’m filled with such...reverence. I understand. I understand. This is what I was supposed to feel kneeling in the sweltering heat for hours on end. I’m glad I feel it here instead.

“You will kill us,” I say. “But we’re not going to uncuff you, you’ll do that yourself.”

“What are you talking about?” She is so exasperated and so irritated and so wonderful. “These cuffs are bound. It doesn’t matter how great you think I am, I’m not that strong.”

“You will be! You will be.” In the corner of my vision I see Salma fidgeting. Salma!!! You’re ruining this!! To make her stop, I gesture at her so she can speak and stop annoying everyone with her movements.

“The sigil you’re sitting on,” she fires off in her horrible, grating voice, “and the sigils that are on you are my own designs. Just because you haven’t seen them before doesn’t mean they won’t work. They’ll work.” Her lip trembles and she bows her head. “I’m sorry you don’t...believe in me.”

Valkyrie stares for a moment. “You’re completely nuts.” Nuts! Aah! That’s the word I use to describe her! How exciting!

“They’ll work, I swear. I promise. We only need to activate them, and...” Salma looks to me. Unfortunately, I have to stand up now and go back to looking down on Valkyrie. It’s okay, though. It’s okay. Soon she’ll be looking down on me.

For now, she doesn’t look at me at all. She looks down at where she’s put her arms on her knees, wrists facing out. Perhaps Supreme Mage Sorrows once gave her a lesson on what certain strokes can mean, perhaps she’s trying to work out how to counteract our symbol.

She’s fabulous and smart, yes, but she won’t be able to work it out. I am confident. I snap my fingers, summoning a bright, orange flame into my hand. She lifts her head, looks me directly in the eye, and I smile widely. Very widely. Not widely enough. I hope, before Darquesse kills me, she at least takes the time to appreciate what I’m doing for her. I hope she recognises how much I love her. No - I don’t hope. I know. She will. She must.

I take a step forward and crouch again, reaching my hand out to the edge of the symbol on the ground. My flame will catch onto the petrol paste and spread immediately. Valkyrie will be burned, but only a little bit! Just a little bit. Long enough for the fire to catch the symbols on her skin, and she will be protected - and Darquesse will be summoned back into her. She will be complete again.

Before my flame touches the paste, Valkyrie shoots her hand out and smudges the line, which gives me just about the fright of my life! Thank goodness I have such incredible reflexes, otherwise I wouldn’t have jerked my hand away in time. The paste would have caught on fire and surely burned her to death! She rubs her wrists together, wiping away the symbols written there, then kicks her legs out from under her so she’s in a more traditional butt-to-ground position, but that means she’s made the ground symbol worse and displaced dirt into my face.

It’s hard to love her when she has literally blinded me. That whole thing about the sun and everything, it was more of a metaphor. I still love her of course! I’m only taken aback. Anything I may say as I fall backwards isn’t really my fault, since she’s the one who kicked dirt in my eyes. It's more of my reflexes. I never would say anything of the sort to her under normal circumstances. Never.

“You bitch!”

What an inconvenience. I don’t get to see any of what happens next! I only hear the door flying open and gunshots, the sounds of my people yelling and trying to fight. Punches, kicks, bodies falling to the ground. When I hear Salma scream and feel her blood land on my face, I can’t help it! I can’t help it but think, serves you right for putting a cent in the collection tray every week!

“Skulduggery, the-”

“Valkyrie. Are you alright?” Is that him getting on his knees? Maybe he understands after all. “Are you hurt?”

“My skin’s burning, let me loose so I can get this shit off me. The crank on the wall, I think that controls the cuffs.”

I roll onto my side and wipe the dirt from my eyes. I hear Pleasant at the wall, turning the crank back and hitting the release. It’s terribly uncomfortable, but I can open my eyes and see well enough - and what I see is Crandall dead next to me! It’s such a shock, my heart skips at least three beats. That rotten Pleasant. What a barbarian. I lift my head as carefully as I can, so I won’t be noticed. Valkyrie has lifted her shirt to get the symbol off her stomach and cannot see me.

This is so unfair. I put so much work into this plan. It was so hard to trap her! I was going to bring Darquesse back. Me. Not Crandall, not Salma. Not Nicki. Her black eyes would have bored into my skull and killed me and I would have been good and happy. Huh! Maybe I'm not too different to those Faceless worshippers who go blowing themselves up in public places.

“Isserley. I thought that was you.” Pleasant. Pleasant is talking to me. “How have you been?”

Valkyrie snaps her head up at him. “You know her?”

“We’ve seen her in the High Sanctuary.”

“Jesus. Is there anyone you don’t remember.”

“No.” He reaches out and wipes the rest of the symbol off her stomach in one motion. I have dirt in my eyes but I see how her tummy kind of curls in a bit as she drops her shirt down.

That should be me. That should be me. I love her more than anyone. I burst into tears.

“She tried to set me on fire.”

“I think a list of people who haven’t tried to set you on fire would be shorter than a list of those who have.” I hear the clink of handcuffs. “Come on, now, Isserley.”

I let my head drop back onto the ground and stare up at the ceiling. I do not take one more look at Valkyrie. I’m not worthy. I’m not worthy. I failed. “Why don’t you just kill me.” I’m not even aware of myself saying it, to be honest! Just one of those things that...slips out...

“She makes a good point, Skulduggery.”

“Can’t be done. We should leave at least one cultist alive to arrest, so why not take the woman in charge?”

“How do you know she’s the one in charge?”

His terrible skull fills my vision as he looks down at me. You know, hearing him talk this much at one time has jogged my memory. And he does happen to wear very beautiful suits. My mouth falls open. “You’re-”

Valkyrie was startled for a moment by the sudden gunshot. Shoulders tensed, she looked over to Skulduggery standing over the woman, gun still pointed into a face that didn’t really exist anymore.

“What made you change your mind?” she asked as he put the revolver away. Skulduggery came over to her and brushed some hair out of her face, went back to fussing over the injuries she sustained on her way here.

“Too talkative,” he said, and she laughed and teased him about being a hypocrite.

#skulduggery pleasant #thanks for subscribing

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thedeadflag · 5 years

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Hey, pretty soon I'll be playing a friend of mine is gonna be DMing Tyranny Of Dragons for me and a couple of friends, and I can't decide whether I should play a Monk (probably Open Hand, maybe Kensei) or a Ranger (either Beastmaster or Horizon Walker), 'cause I've never played either of those classes, nor has anyone at the tables I've played. Can you tell me a little about your experiences with these classes?

The Ranger has been one of my favourite classes throughout the editions of D&D in terms of flavour, and I’ve had some fun with monks as well. In 5th edition, both took a fair bit of a hit in utility (individual and within group dynamics) and power at pretty much all ranges. The Ranger was propped back up a little bit in Unearthed Arcana in the revised ranger archetype, but both are still largely considered at best middle of the road classes, and at worst, the lowest tier of classes in the game in utility and character.

That’s not to say they can’t be fun and have a lot of flavour, and still find use. If you’ve watched Critical Role, you can see Vex and Beau weren’t useless by any stretch. No class is junk in 5e due to the improved parity compared to some past editions. So power and utility aside, if you feel drawn to any class/subclass, and you want to dive into its particular brand of flavour, then I say go for it. I would gauge the rest of the party’s makeup in making your decision, because group synergy is important, but you have to make yourself happy, too, right?

Anywho, I’ll break down my take on both.

When it comes to Monks, I like Open Hand the best. If you want to have a Monk-style gameplay with weapons, then Mystic or Fighter are probably better options with some more flair and utility involved than Kensei imo, but if that’s the route you want to take, it’d be alright. However, Open Hand has quivering palm, which is pretty incredible late game as far as damage and flexible timing from a single person through 3 ki pts and an action. If you do ever reach level 17, I would recommend multiclassing after that if you’re allowed, since the rest of the Monk’s class progression is kind of junk in comparison, and it could use some much needed utility from 3 levels of another class. Anywho, I like open hand not just for the flavor of being a class that’s capable of being an unarmed beast in battle, but also because of the way it can work in alignment with fighters who can also control the battlefield, like any fighter with a sentinel/polearm master. The ability to shove an enemy up to 15ft with one of your flurry attacks, launching them into the range of a fighter who gets a free opp attack against them and can from then on lock down their movement with a successful hit? That can be an excellent tag team. The Monk isn’t excellent for utility, but the Open Hand technique is probably the best at providing utility in combat among all the monk disciplines. Like, another option after hitting with flurry of blows is to steal all reactions for the opponent until the end of your next turn. This can be especially helpful against casters, as stealing reactions = preventing counterspells. And Monks can get a lot of attacks = lots of attempts to disrupt concentration of enemy casters, so the open hand monk is especially helpful at being a designated mage wrecker with having the mobility to reach casters and the ability to destabilize them. It’s arguably the one thing (aside from unarmed damage) that (this one kind of) monks do better than just about anyone else, arguably.

Now, to Rangers.

Honestly, I don’t like beast-focused Rangers. I think they’re a lot of work in order to get the mechanical payoff most other classes can achieve without a lot of thought or effort. Generally, any class that can let me focus more on flavour and RP is one I’m going to prefer, and beast master’s just…unwieldy. A lot of people say the class is junk, and if you run it without getting into the headspace for optimizing, it’s probably going to be more of a frustrating experience than you’d have hoped for. With BMs, you’re managing not just your character, but your companion, and you have to keep up with the different mechanics of both, you need to be 100% on top of choices made while leveling up, you need to have a strong understanding of battlefield control and your companion’s capabilities from the get go, and you really ought to be the kind of player who is happy to take a backseat to everyone else in and out of combat because the way you’ll shine is by helping everyone else do what they do with a little bit higher odds of success than otherwise. Personally, I like playing that sort of character, but I can do all of that with other classes a lot easier, and usually better, so this isn’t the kind of archetype I’d choose for a character myself. If you really want to, and think it’s cool, go for it, though.

The first thing I’d do is ask if you can use the UA revised ranger instead of the PHB ranger if you’re going the beast route (it’s “beast conclave” archetype in UA). If your DM allows that and insists you choose your companion from the list provided here, take the wolf (pack tactics is v helpful, same with 40ft speed and being able to send enemies prone after attacking) or ape (climb 30ft, melee/ranged ability, good stat baselines).

The second thing you’ll need is to lock down a quality companion, and that can take a bit of wheeling and dealing with your DM to let you use one of the supplementary books as a source, which is especially necessary if you’re not able to use the revised ranger class from UA. You do not want a hawk, mastiff, or panther, the PHB offers some shit examples out of the gate (panther and hawk are only conditionally good if you’re only ever going to have your companion rushing around the map using the ‘help’ action, or scouting to some extent, and the latter becomes less useful and reliable the higher level you become). Don’t choose a CR 0 companion, or one under ¼. If you absolutely must use a hawk for character flavor, then a blood hawk that at least has pack tactics would be a must. But if you are hoping for a companion that can do damage, look for something with certain damage if it hits, like added poison damage. Look for good AC if you want a tank. Look for versatility in mobility and senses. Look for special abilities (the boar having a relentless ability where it’ll go back to 1HP if it falls below 0; the wolf spider has web walk and web sense which can really help with casters using web if players don’t want to wade into the difficult terrain or are having difficulty finding enemies caught in the web; etc.)

But yeah, beast-focused rangers will be best when they’re spamming the help action with their beasts, using their beasts to get enemies out of cover, using their beasts to help control the field and give others advantage/take advantage, etc. You need to be quick mentally to know what you want to do with your character and your companion each time your turn comes around (most DMs, myself included, aren’t going to let you have as much time as you need to figure out what you want to do on both fronts, so if you can’t juggle two characters at once without losing a step, it might not be the archetype for you). This type of ranger requires you to know exactly what you want to be able to accomplish for yourself and your party right out of the gate, so you’ll want to gauge what your party members will be specializing in, what they want to be able to do, and see if there’s a way to shape your ranger to aid in that, particularly in choosing a beast that can be the most effective in ensuring that. Group cohesion is the name of the game with this form of ranger, so you’ll want to consider race selection a part of this process, too. I’ve had one player bomb hard as a BM and re-roll a different ranger, and I’ve had a friend who ran one who was the group’s unsung hero a lot of the time during their campaign. If you’re looking at Vex from CR as inspiration, keep in mind she had an excellent set of stats from lvl 9 onwards, and plenty of magical weapons to make up for much of any class shortcomings as characters scale up…look at how often Trinket was useful (very rarely) and understand that the bear was essentially just flavour for most of the campaign, and Vex would have been considerable underpowered compared to the rest of the party if not for some considerable DM intervention in ways that make things a lot trickier for DMs (adding magical weapons/items can easily unbalance a campaign, and it’s a matter of experience in knowing how to dole them out without throwing balance aside…Matt Mercer’s comfortable handing out flying carpets and multiple +2AC items and superpowered magical weapons by level 9, I wouldn’t give them out before level 14 or 15 and it would really only be if a player was severely struggling and refused to re-roll a more appropriate character while dying or nearly dying most combats). Other classes and archetypes have features and abilities that scale as you level, some earn specific spells as they level up that others can’t get, etc., but with beast conclave rangers, it’s their beast that slightly improves in a few meaningful ways. So if you’re going that route, you need to commit to a great beasts that’s a great fit for you and your party, and you need to commit to making the absolute most out of them and knowing how to make the most out of them.

Horizon Walker’s a simpler archetype that has some badass spells, but the flavour for the class can be a bit…strange in some adventures. It might not fit well with Tyranny of Dragons, I’m not sure how much planar travel’s involved in that adventure. Which might not be a problem for the DM, or you. I still prefer the UA ranger conclaves, but out of the PHB ones, this one’s probably the best of the bunch, even if it’s mostly going to lean towards being a melee build (which, again, check your party comp to see if that’s something that is workable).

Anywho, those are my late night D&D ramblings. You can take my words with a grain of salt if you’d like, and as always the rule of cool applies…if you think it’s cool and you really want to go with something, go for it and I hope the DM will find a way to help you make it work, but yeah, these classes can be a bit of an uphill battle, though I suppose potentially a rewarding challenge if that’s what you’re looking for.

Best of luck with the campaign, I’m sure you’ll have fun!

#d&d #long post #Anons

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kawaiianimeredhead · 5 years

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Oh right I wanted to rant. Im still on my phone so there might be typos but oh well

Edit: this got way longer and rambly than I expected oops. I hope this read more works, i never actually checked yesterday when I used it to see if it still worked on mobile so if it doesnt oops and sorry

Anyways. In september a new company took over our contract and thats a whole rant on its own. The previous lead (my dad but not important) left before the new company came and he left Sam in charge. Sam has been there for like four or five years and he's a pretty good guy. When the new cobtract started he was very quickly overwhelmed with the bs and also with the paper abd computer stuff he had to do so he stepped down. Hes still there and actually was still in charge for a bit after he stepped down because we didnt have a new lead.

And now we do have a new lead. This was apparently a Process from what ive heard. Nobody really wanted the job and im not sure how the Boss from the company even went about hiring but i heard that a couple people he considered weren't interested and then I was told that someone was hired or was going to be hired and quick before she even started. I heard these from two differenr people because one told me she qas being walked around and woukd start soon and another said she wasnt coming a day or so later. Someone was hired though and the first night he was there so was the Boss showing him around kinda. I spoke with him a bit and he seemed nice. Def better than the Boss who I cant stand beinf around for long hes got weird and annoying vibes around him.

None of this is actually particularly relevant or necessary for this rant but it came out anyways.

So this new lead has tried all thr different shifts/jobs out and and has been with us for like a month or so now maybe? The first schedule he was properly scheduled on was such a SHIT week/schedule because I went from working 5-4 days a week to 3 and instead of doing bathrooms which is 3 hours or 4 depending on if I'm also doing trash to working 2 hours one day, 2 or 3 the next, and 3 or 4 the last. And it sucks. Then, the first schedule to come out that he made (with the help of the Boss) had ALL of us on less days and hours and HE now working every day but one and working both in the morning AND at night. Now I'm not convinced this was soley his decision because I know he made this schedule with the Boss and i have a suspicion that the Boss encouraged him or persuaded him or some other kind of bull shit to do the schedule like this. And then the week after was the same schedule copied again and this week coming up is the same minus a few small changes.

Now all this is annoying and bull shit on its own but not even the main fuel to this rambling rant. With this schedule, hes scheduled to clean the bathrooms and trash every day except Sunday, which is when I am scheduled on them. Last week was the first week of this and besides the day I'm specificed to do bathrooms im not given a specific job. Imbonly told to do "extras" so ive asked Sam and hes told me to do offices one day and some windows the other. I come in Saturday ready to do the windows which ive been dying to do because they look awful and they used to be my Thing so I get really annoyed about them often but then I notice the trash hadnt been done. So I start doing that thinking maybe that was what I was supposed to be doing. Then while doing this I notice the main breakroom doesnt look particularly clean, breakrooms are a part of the bathroom persons job. This was annoying but because it wasnt Bad I left it. I then go to the next break room which is smaller and always messier because more people stay in it for longer, this one also looked dirtier than it should be. In addition, the bathroom's trash hadnt beeb taken out which is a part of the bathroom job. Bathroom trash is separate from trash trash as far as jobs go, theyre usually done together but if someone is doinf "extras" and someone else bathrooms, bathrooms normally gets bathroom trash abd extras the rest. Something felt really off about the bathroom as well and combined with the breakdowns I had a suspicion that bathrooms hadnt been done. So I decided to check the costumer bathrooms for their trash and their cleanliness. When I got there they absolutely had not been done. Which ! I hadn't planned for. I was taking my time on trash and now I had to do bathroom s.

Nobody had been called or texted about the lead not being at work. And he absolutely has our numbers. We used to sign in on a time sheet and that would have helped us noticed but we recently got a finger print time clock which, as far as I know, we cant check other peoples hours on. So we had no fucking clue he just hadnt been in the previous night.

Then this week comes along. Friday talking with Sam he mentioned something along the lines of not checking the bathrooms. Mentioning that its not really our fault if we dont abd they havent been done because since were not scheduled for them, we have no reason to assume they wouldnt be done. So I hadnt looked in the bathrooms but I did notice the break room looked a bit messy and which had me a bit concerned about a repeat of the previous week. But I didnt wanna do them and I knew Sam didnt either so I left it be but texted nick to ask if hed seen the lead the previous night. Nick confirmed hed been in and was seen cleaning the bathrooms. Yesterday, I briefly looked into the main break room and it looked not great, and then later I went to the bathroom in the smaller breakroom's bathroom (they have really nice soap they buy themselves thats not really importantto this tho) and noticed that one looked AWFUL. It absolutly hadnt been swept and I felt bad but it wasnt what I was scheduled for so I just kinda left it... Their bathroom also had 1ply toilet paper in it, which is what we had when the company first took over it its AWFUL everyone complained so we switched but the unused rolls are still in our closet. Nobody told our new lead this so he had put some of this in the bathrooms. Then later on in the morning, I noticed several trash cans had stuff in it. Not trash but like residue from trash? Like sticky spots of soda oe coffee, some gum, things like that. Basically things that pointed to him only dumping out the trash and not changing the bag. The bags dont always get changed everyday, thats not really an issue, but if theres something still kinda in them they normally are changed because thats gross and why would it just be left like that... I also noticed that up front by the entrance door none of the trash had been got. The busiest area for trash (from customers) and it was still ! There! And I had actually heard Friday or last Friday that this wasnt the first time. Again I left it because I had other things to do.

Now this morning. I worked bathrooms and trash. Trash went ok, I changed a lot of the bags becsuse I prefer to do it regardless and it was just normal overall. Then bathrooms. The bathroom cart is a mess. Which started my mood. The top is all unorganized and theres dirty water in the mop bucket. When I went go get new water, I had set the mop off to the side assuming it had already veen run out and dried because it had been in the part of the bucket where you ring it out and it had been there since yesterday morning. I finished filling the bucket and then look over and notice the puddle forming under the mop because my assumption had been wrong and worse, it smelled like pee. ! Carring on The first two bathrooms were ok, not great but fine. Then I got to the main breakroom and noticed itd clearly been cleaned, Sam worked the day shift Saturday so I assume he swept and mopped. I also swept and mopped. Then, the small break room. Sam didnt clean this one. Which is fair on his part because I think throughout the whole day at least one or more people are sitting in it with no time for someone to clean. So I start and its just the whole thing, even the bathroom floor, was so bad. Aside from the floor the bathroom part was ok, but the floor really didnt seem to have been swept. And the main floor absolutely hadnt been swept. This was obvious from the start but it kept making me madder and madder as I swept and saw how much trash was on the floor. It absolutely put me behind because I wanted to get as much as I could. The cutomer bathrooms also looked pretty bad which is had to tell who thats on, but wheb I got to them it was apparent somethibg else I hadnt fully thought of as a problem until then. Behind all the toilets, like on then but behidb the seat part, there was so much DUST. I had noticed before in the other bathrooms but didnt really think about it because of things plus i see the dust more often collect in the orher bathrooms than that one for some reason and I didnt even realize this but because it was something New in the costumer bathroom it was really noticeable now. Which made ne even madder. Its not hard to clean, were supposed to be cleaning the toilet seats anyways so getting just behind them isnt anything!

And its just so aggrivating. The longer at work i was this morning the more it pissed me off. Especially because in addition to what I was seeing, the things I had heard from others over the last couple of weeks started piling on.

With my own eyes i had seen how bad the cart had been and from sam I heard that the water in the bucket had been in there all week, he suspected that he wasnt changing it. He also commented on the rags all over the cart thinking that he wasnt using paper towels to clean and instead used the rags. I heard about how a couple of times now hed forgotten or ignore the front trash cans and some others. I heard from someone in the meat room that when he cleans it he doesnt do that grear a job and even broke a couple small things. Which is all very concerning to hear since thats a fucking sanitation issue!? And I heard from nick yesterday that he thinks that the lead isnt cleaning all thw bathrooms every day and is instead only cleaning them when they look dirty. Which I'm a bit inclinded to believe because the underside of some of the seats seemed much dirtier than id expected.

And its all infuriating! The Boss is the one who showed him all the jobs, none of us showed him any of what we do it was all the Boss. So like, did HE tell the lead not to do this or that? To do some of it to save time? I dont know but some of it is common sense regardless of what hes beeb told hes still fucking it up and hes our fucking boss. And the main one doing everything!

The store hasnt looked as clean from the start of this new contract and now it's even worse and its awful!

And I dont have a way to end this rant it got really long snd feels like it needs a good closer but I dont have one...

#work tag #hope the read more thing works #this got long #and it doesnt even have the same anger behind it as it should because its all typed #im so mad #dont mind me

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loosinmynoodles · 6 years

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A fake redhead with a heart of gold finds love with a negging alaskan lumberjack despite being engaged already

A Frosrty Affair

I clicked on this because I loved a Holiday Engagement and wanted to ride that high. This summary sounds like a romance novel, like any of them, yes that one. So far its cute and very self-aware of how it looks going into it.

Girl (fake redhead who’s a pro-bono school teacher) has been snowed into her house and literally throws her suitcases through the opening and slides out. Her tromping in the snow even has funny timing.

She just throws contents of suitcase into the snow like the’yre nothing- I love small budget movie details.

Man zooms in on snow-mobile to save her (Im guessing) from otherwise lame man plans she had before. She’s trying to get out of this Alaska(?) town to see her fiancé (he’s lame).

Snow-mobile man is rude.

Snow-mobile man is not responding to her obvious predicament.

She throws a candle at him as he snow-mobiles away and it works lol she states that she doesn’t have a week shes getting MARRIED (uh hello?) she can’t wait a week for the runway to be cleared.

He can’t take her with him he doesn’t need the extra baggage (what?!)

She is stranded with bags at a snowed in trailer.

We cut to her father being stressed planning her wedding- sister doesn’t know who Jesus is- aaaaaaand we get a full shot of the fiance and he’s slimyyyyy and awkward- fiance tells people she’s uhhhhhhh gonna be a little late :/

We get a cut to snow-mobile guy calling someone and he’s gonna just like, snow-mobile for 3 days to get to location.

Girl tells SNG (snow-mobile guy) shes gonna follow him on her newly bought snowmobile and he can’t stop her then he like, shows her his gun? I’ve never seen such serious negging in my life. And he’s barely said a word! So powerful. She calls him strong man and says she doesn’t scare easy (she gets scared easy). He is not Strong Man (SM) and she is spunky red head who is morally correct (SRWMC).

Pausing in Amazon video shows actors names and character names and his characters name is apparently Redford which is way better than SM or SNG. Just Redford. No last name.

So they’re trecking and he moves a log out of her way. She goes the wrong way anyway. He does a dramatic jump and waits for her to turn around once she gets there. I feel shes too spunky to turn away now. I’m right.

She crashes and he starts doing CPR but she wakes up during and she beats him off. He told her I SAVED YOUR LIFE lmao he didn’t do anything.

HE keeps calling her Lady.

She says PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take me to snowy pines.

He FROWNILY agrees as long as she doesnt talk!!!!

Cut to slimy telling dad not to worry- she’ll be here in 3 days! Dad tells sister “Don’t. Just don’t”.

She puts a whole bottle of lighter fluid into the fire place to try to make a fire and she BLOWS UP and he runs in, PICKS her up over his shoulder, runs 5 feet and plops her into the snow to PUT OUT A FIRE THATS ON HER ARM!!

He explains fire to her but its ok here because she honestly doesn’t know.

OH MY GOD!!!! his is the best movie ever!!!!

the owner of this cabin shows up, kicks the girl out, and corners redford to try to kiss him all within 12 seconds uggggghhhhh!!!!! also the best line I’ve ever heard was said but I dont want to spoil it.

She needs his help getting out of his jumpsuit (her bags were left with the sexual predator) but right before she pees, a BEAR COMES, redford tackles her and says to play dead. (this is wrong don’t do this with brown bears) and the bear roars and then walks away but not before breaking their snow-mobile.

They come to a frozen lake and she stands up for herself my stating shes an independent person who can decide to go over the unsafe frozen lake if she wants to. he says theres no going back if we decide to do this. it becomes a metaphor for human relationships I think.

He goes to tell her personal facts (just to shut her up) but they fall into the ice water AHHHHHHHHH whoda thunk?

So they BOTH fall in but he carries her out of the lake????? I hope she starts a fire to redeem herself for earlier.

omg I’m right.

shes ok from the freezing lake water but hes not ok. Fire is MADE!!

cut to sister and slimy doing the worst porn intro i can imagine but it doesnt happen because he bucks and head butts her nose and she screams hahah and runs away.

cut back to out awesome fire and we are all ok!

we have to strip down and dry our clothes unfortunately no matter how much i DONT wanna see your boobs I guess i have to. he negs by saying she might actually be a small B cup and not a large B cup like he suspected but she stands up for herself! shes a full B ok!?

lmao hes ripped and he sneaks a peak. everyone (me) is happy.

They’re quoting authors at each other because they’re BOTH SMART oK.

They’re (IM) falling in love.

They’re out of the woods! they are they’re at a mill or something.

ok so they steal this guys food and a tractor and hes locked out of his cabin in his underwear!

their tractor then runs out of fuel

a motel only has one room open and its the romance room which is a kids ben with foam snow bricks and a disco ball.

She snoops in his things and finds a picture of a woman and a kid ohhhhh i think she thinks hes married so she storms off.

shes tells Brad all the exciting things shes done adn hes just happy shes safe and says nothing will ever happen to you again then kisses her on the forehead lmaooo

her mom sees shes not into it

lmaooooo her mom recognizes Redford as an author. BIIIIIICTH hes an author!!!!

She wants a quick detour to redfords house oN HER WAY TO THE CHURCH and Jodie is his MOM Biiiccttthhhhhhh!!!!!

Redford DOES have a daughter but apparently its with a British woman who cheated and is raising the daughter with another man!!!!

Shes fuckinggggggg at the altar shes apologizing a loooooottttt and left him at the altar. The sister cozies up to him right there omfgggggg the dad is fine with it!! mom knew it would happen but didnt say shiiiittt!!! !

Biiiitch he SNOW MOBILES up to the church!! she smacks him!!!!! they kiss!!!!! they snow mobile away!!!!!

crying!!!! what did i just watchhhhhh!!??

#a frosty affair #amazon prime #maddie watches

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realisticfiction · 2 years

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can you not make read mores on mobile or am i actually blind

i am trying to drastically change my ways of interactions, personality, and self-reliance and self-treatance. I am also 90% into my meds for the night to make me pass tf out, so I’m a bit off my grammar and I will not fix these mistakes. If I look at this post again in the morning, then it’ll be to delete it.

I just wanted to say, to those that see, to those that may be curious, to those that may think of me every so often, every so many years,

i am sorry.

I know that my sense of worth is dust. I know that I still look at my meds and think “maybe it should be more than 1, so I get to sleep? ...more?”

I know that I’m just not a good person. I know that I hit harder than I let get hit, and much harder still than the comfort of petty kind words. I was a piece of shit as a kid, so it’s gotten better, but not by far.

I am very sorry that you’ve had to know of me and deal with me. It’s understandable if you’d rather not anymore. It’s equally understandable if you just don’t care.

I’m going to keep working on myself, just in small ways. I’ve been looking heavily for different methods of work, as what I’ve been applying to is not meeting methods, so I’ll do another quick course or two and try yet again to get into something else that I think I would be able to do...longer. It’s still difficulty to think of anything as “permanent”, because life is not.

just, sorry. it’s difficult to change such large things about yourself, but. i am... trying.

dont like. feel proud of me for this. i’m saying and im floudering but theres been little to no progress, and its made me the most secluded and depressed ive been in months, im just hard code forcing myself to do things.

#yet another quarterlife midlife crisis where i get sad #you dont need to msg or interact #bre is gr8 #just figured id offer... explanation? to some? if anyone caught wind.

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shytiff · 3 years

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June Small Wins

1 - ecmocard meeting with ppl from aussie to learn to sort out data. Felt better after the meeting cause i didnt feel like doing anything before. Got two season deli box cake from dapur cokelat for nessa. Videocalled w her and ren.

2 - dr eva chatted and gave things to do. I also need to make intern log for dr retha. I just cant bring myself to start. Finally mustered the courage. Im not the type of person for wfh. At least in this house. Finished reading love or hate. I rly felt like shit at night.

3 - started reading positively yours. Had no will to do anything

4 - some more sending spss work for dr eva. weekdays with no “outside work” rly render me useless in functioning. a vegetable

5 - iluni webinar. Lost my attention during electrolyte and fluid stuff. tried to cook ribeye steak lmao (meat from @/fridaymeatshop). Its too chewy and leathery. But its not too welldone. And at least it tastes good. Went to depok by krl. its quite quick since krl arrived just after im at poris and duri. went ahead of silvi devi. satpam on the lobby wont open the access hhhh (i dont have one. i dunno why. mom said she cant find it although we supposedly have 2). but my mood improved once im upstairs. we prepped a bit of deco. conversed in the dark so not to make racheel suspicious. surprisee. had truffle belly chicken cheese for dinner. the cheese was not to cheesy, its more of a gentle taste. mushroom tastes better. we watched sweet and sour from my mobile data. surprisingly, its not that much of data. slept at like 12-1ish

6 - the electric token went out in the morning. we went for a walk in ui. the PLK man across of st ui forbade us from going in. ugh. but it was rly empty. so we went from barel. its empty on the library. there was a dog that walked along with us. talked a bit in front of the lake. went back. i got 2 moon chicken (the basic flavor and not the wings) and spicy jumeokbap. the jumeokbap was nothing like what i had in korea. like the seaweed’s taste doesnt come out that much, and its not that flavorful/savory. the one in korea its good even by itself. went back to jkt nebeng reza silvi with devi. originally planned to go to flavola, but my head kinda hurts, so i finished my moon chicken at the mushola and asked juan to pick me up. still feel healthy and normal after going and staying out, so i started reading a book abt handwriting analysis lmaoo. fell asleep. tried several attempts to figure out my bpjs number and turns out the best there is to respond is BPJS’ twitter. the problem was solved under 5 mins.

7 - woke up, fell asleep again. Adita told me that i might be interviewed today for the ipd intern but theres no info. Did the registration stuff for my bpjs. Registered for npwp. Watched bts x na pd

8 - off to RSF. its audit day today. hiks to phonecall follow up work. i did not do anything inaco related, i just sat there and did dr dafsah’s excel. dr vera bought me pecel ayam hehe yay. went to como park to meet up with indah regen. tried ricotta pizza from pizza place (33k). the cheese is cheese but not that typical cheesy (?) coupled with mushroom. i had to add sauce to withstand the last bites (still kinda full). tried other’s as well, pesto and mushroom. pesto had the most taste. while waiting for doggo to arrive, we bought gelato (S: 35k). apparently their special flavor was ricotta lmao. tried green tea (bitter, which i like) and peanut butter + caramel, which makes you feel thirsty. watched the doggos from the sidelines. after maghrib we went to 1/15. ordered ice mocha (50k). the chocolate taste stood out more. not gonna order again lol. the staff initially recommended pandan flavor. took grab to gbk station to go home.

9 - rsf. second audit day. i hate it here lmao. im not even paid for my time here. excused myself to eat. turns out mbak Ai bought hokben. i almost forgot thanking her since i felt hungry with a bit of headache. talked a bit with dr retha regarding changes of assistant (since internship is soon). went back and immediately laid down in bed. mom bought pizza so thats what i ate for dinner. fell asleep (i can feel it. my face will get consequences)

10 - cant bring myself to do anything. i reread painter of the night lmao. seungho is a prick. inhun is also a prick (a greedy one). ate arirang bone marrow. put the egg-seasoning mixture to the pan since im not confident enough to just pour boiling water into the bowl. felt surprisingly full. went to sbux. green tea latte as usual. but turns out tumblr 50% promo only applies to sbux member. so i had to pay 40k for my green tea latte. at least i got to feel good from outside vibes. did some follow up for INACO patients.

11 - went to rm rsf. Took lots of photos of RM. I was given rujak by the rm staff lmaoo so cute. Didnt do any entry afterwards lmao i just laid down

12 - breakfast is paldo jjajangmen and egg. It tasted like soy. Its good but not in a micin way. Its quite fulfilling. Had some of the beef slices by putting it in a buttered pan (is it pan fried? Grilled? Idk). Had banana and brownies together (makes it rly good). Did a bit of clires work. I drank sbux's caramel macchiato but yall my stomach cant handle it lmao. It hurts so much that i even got a headache. So i just laid down in bed

13 - had arirang again loll. Inserted the egg to the pan still, but quicker this time. Its too salty today. Maybe its not enough water. I was eating it while googling how to remove excess sodium. Ate the rest of beef slices (shared with bros ofc) and mixed some with moms fried rice. Ate banana brownies again. Felt soooo full. Did some clires work accompanied by sbux matcha

14 - i felt like shit this morning. Watched leahs vid. Listened to her podcast while having bfast. I walked from moms car to bougenville while still feeling like shit. It slowly gets better afterwards, thankfully. Did some clires and follow up. Went to gandy steak in dr retha's car (which had anesthesiology textbook inside). Tried aus sirloin steak. The bread tasted ok. The garlic bread also ok. The mashed potato was so so (the one in depok was more creamy and smooth). The steak was good, especially the fat part, the sauce so so. Honestly that depok steak had more value for money compared to this, i think. Nebeng dr rara and husband to busway station. Arrived in ar and i immediately showered, such wow 👏👏

15 - today is no rsf day aka self made wfh day. Moms getting vaccinated today. I just lazed. And read kanej fics

16 - off to rsf. Took care of rm stuff. Tried social affair's croffle since i was so curious (60k [10k tip]). The nutella and cinnamon sugar one. Its crunchy and a bit crumbly inside, but not as fragile as croissant. Its quite fulfilling too. But its basically flour batter variations. (thats what mom would say). randomly chatted racheel and we ended up taking a walk and a bit of jog citra 6 (with my sneakon regular shoes). My left tendon was screaming lol. Picked up by juan who surprisingly effortlessly found the address at night.

17 - mbak aan chatted me today to go to rscm. Met prof murdani at pesc and he gave me ppt assigment for 13:30 THAT DAY. Finished it unsatisfyingly (i wish i couldve done more). Lunch was free bebek bkb yay thankyou Prof c: (he even asked what did i ate) took care of legalisir stuff. Went home by tj. Drank matcha w vsoy and i somehow was not sleepy after maghrib. I also changed my desj layout. Maybe it kinda works to separate my spaces

18 - arrived at rscm at 8-ish. sent updated thibbun nabawi ppt. literature search. and then somehow its 14:30. went to SCI w ara wani rasyid. tried bandeng nyonya, oyster, salmon, cumi lada garam (its crazy good among all the good tasting food wtff), shrimp and pocai telor (veggie stuff). dessert was thailand cassava. spent about 190k. went back by TJ. had wudu at pulomas and prayed ashar on the bus lol. i passed out after playing w my phone lmaoo

19 - spent almost the whole day just sleeping and eating. finally showered in the afternoon. had matcha vsoy latte after maghrib and with enough day sleeping, i did presentation outline. at like 1/2 am i initially planned to sleep but my eyes still have plenty of watts. so i read hold me tight. slept at like 4/5 am

20 - woke up at 9. off to om dokter’s house to ask for healthy letter. we talked almost the entire time im there lol. before u know it mom and dad’s done talking with grandma. om dokter shared some of his experiences in the past. and he said something about making your choice and living with it, and it will all have a meaning even if you might initially agonize about it. girl i was holding back tears. here he was talking about choices, something i never rly talk about at my house. im getting teary just typing this. he talked about it in a way that sounds simple, even though i agonized abt internship choices and sometimes avoid thinking about it. it rly rly was a new experience. i dont rly talk about “choices” with my parents. so hearing how to go through options in life from a person i can relate to regarding this med stuff is. i feel like i would have loved it if i can hear his wisdom earlier. i dont talk with him much if my parents are around bcs they will just meddle and say stuff that wreck my peace. they dont rly know what im going through but can be very opinionated. this peaceful one on one talk rly made me feel relieved and reassured. and i was today years old when i found out he initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. he would have been a great psychiatrist. i feel like we have some understanding thats left unsaid. like he knows how my parents are like. he would probably understand why i dont talk with him much at AR. after what feels super quick, we went back to AR. registered for STR. searched some literature for the topics that Prof is the moderator of. powered by matcha energy

21 - rscm as usual. the Prof did not come. lunch was bread i brought from home. waited for mom to pick me up at kfc so i bought pukis kfc. its like properly made pukis and not the street seller made ones. the chocolate one was good since the toppings generous. felt a bit feverish? like my body felt warm. fell asleep and then suddenly its 6 am in the morning.

22 - Prof still did not came. had amart’s ayam penyet jamur for lunch. turns out juan bought ayam geprek gendut for dinner. night time is diarrhea time lmaooooo. did not feel sleepy at AR but i skipped shower again lmao,,,,,,,, and then suddenly its morning again

23 - jajan from sisterfield today. tried their carrot cake and kopi susu gula aren. the carrot cake has that carrot texture. its different. the icing was fresh cream cheese that made the cake taste good. the coffee made my stomach ache a bit. it has that subtle chocolatey taste. fell asleep again. third time’s the charm (of 1x/day face wash). woke up at 3 am planning to sleep but i ended up washing my face. turns out atikah was still awake due to AZ fever.

24 - this is the bestest sleep i had in this week (?) had a dream about going to bandung and the car falling to water. forgot my headset today. can finally meet prof Mur. talked abt inaco stuff w agassi. reread komugi meruem lmaoo. felll asleep. somehow had the misfortune of hearing dad’s hurtful words to mom. i want to fall asleep again but its difficuly. i went through stages of pent up anger, some sort of selfishness (i will go out from jakarta for internship), amazement to mom, and... (continue 2moro)

25 - lunch was dori rice from kanprim thanks to rasyid’s jastip. watched bts’ butter norebang lolll :(((. arrived at AR the fastest ive been. mom came to me right before maghrib and summed some stuff dad said yesterday. she handled it in a trivial way. like she was unaffected. and that somehow helped me too. stuck around in the dining room for a while after maghrib. talked about internship w mom. i left some chance for dad to yap yap abt whatever related to internship (thankfully songs were full volume through my wireless headset) while im inhaling through my matcha latte. i wont write what he said bcs its lowkey super embarrassing. thank the gods for wireless speakers.

26 - did not do anything productive today. Had arirang salted egg for bfast (wont repurchase). Had the meat cubes i bought online and its rly good. Ran with racil at citra 6. The tendon in my left feet hurt lol. Gmeet with ara et al to discuss internship review

27 - lazed. Wanted to start my day early but couldnt bring myself to. Binge watched twoset videos. Did clires stuff. 1 more RM to wait from IRMIK. No gastro intern work this weekend aaaa im starting to panic.

28 - juan came along otw to rscm. Talked about iship otw. brought tons of stuff to eat, including matcha latte, but i was unable to finish it lol. Discussed research budgeting w Prof. Didnt do anything in home. Starting to panic with my ppt progress.

29 - discussed budgeting revision. Prof thought abt little details i didnt even consider. Didnt do anything while at ar anjengggg

30 - prof did not come to dept today. Listemed to agassi rambling abt intern stuff. Immediately opened my laptop in ar. Watched two set. Played marapets lmaooo i finally managed to gather 3 au for shop pricer. But still didnot wash my face 👁️👄🤦‍♀️ maybe bcs i hate doing what people tells me to do (re: shower due to covid scare). Had a nightmare abt being in a car ride alone w dad and it was rly rly awkward

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