#i’m gonna hibernate for a decade

[chikoyama]

(( no plans this weekend. i promise i'll whip up at least one reply… no more, no less. set the expectations incredibly low, fokez. ))

[sharpedgedfool]

Hey there! Hope you don’t mind me popping into your inbox more often lately, but I’ve just been pondering Sonic and Shadow in your AUs a lot and had some questions about them—can’t imagine why (glances over at your AO3 account) /j

1- how does Oliver eventually come to trust (or at least not hate) Sonic in the museum au? I assume it takes a while and involves the two of them spending a lot of time together on their archeological investigation?

2- in the fae au, is it unhealthy for Sonic/Wild Cherry to be pushing himself to wake up in the wintertime? And how does it feel for him the first time he wakes up so early in the cold? (I’d also love to know how he first meets Shadow/Black Ice but I don’t want to ask too much at once…)

3- I know you said you have some ideas for a sequel to your fleetadow fic, would you by any chance be interested in sharing anything about that?

(And of course, feel free to say “you’ll see” in response to any of these if you don’t feel like answering or if they’re too spoilery! I’m just very interested in all of your story ideas /gen /pos)

Hii, I don’t mind questions at all!! Any excuse to ramble about my silly ideas, I’ll just rapid fire answer below (I'll hide it under a cut cause it got a bit long lmao)

1. That’s part of the story yeah! It’ll take a while, but they’re gonna get to know each other over the course of the investigation, the ruins go deep. I can’t say much cause I’m still trying to write it, but I’m excited to see what people make of what I’ve got planned so far! Sonic’s gonna prove his hero shtick isn’t all bells and whistles, and Shadow’s secrets quickly become unavoidable despite his efforts, it's sort of him they're investigating after all, and by the time he realises it's way too late to turn back.

2. It's not really a severe risk to their health, it’s more so just hard for Fae to control their nature; in this case the whole dying/regeneration process usually isn’t something they have any power over, and it usually relies on the cold to naturally let them know when to wake up, kinda like a hibernation type thing. Sonic’s been trying to wake up a smidge earlier for decades now, but its just sheer determination and a bit of luck on his part. If he woke up mid-winter it'd be a bit of a problem, but he just wakes up a few days shy of spring. I have their first meeting scripted out, I was hoping to turn it into a full comic but I’ve not had the time yet so we’ll see. I’ll maybe just write it out instead at some point haha.

3. I’ve been scheming away at that too, the sequels gonna have a bit more focus on Fleetway and Sonic and how they manage to handle their coexistence now they’ve found some common ground, Shadow’s the catalyst for them to get along but he’s not around to play referee all the time. Amy’s gonna get some time to shine too in this one, but its mainly focused on Sonic, Shadow and Fleetway again. I have another fun twist in mind but I’m still working on the outline so I don’t wanna say anything for certain in case I change my mind mid-way through - the endgame is something cheery tho I promise, I like a happy ending!

Thanks for the questions!! Bother me about my aus anytime haha :)

[lonelyfanboy48]

Canadian Freedom Or Hibernation Heartsick Chapters 1-3

Chapter 1 Grizz’s Solidarity Forthcoming

Panda and Ice Bear took Grizz to one spot of the San Francisco forest after he put on his blindfold from home. They’ve been hiding the surprise from his brother for days, preventing him from anywhere in the forest especially San Francisco ever since they released all the bears from Agent Trout. A lot has changed since bears were fully accepted in society and it wasn’t easy for them to set up the surprise for their brother.

“Are we almost there?” Grizz asked.

“Yes, just keep walking.” Panda smiled.

“Still can’t believe I haven’t spent days in the forest.”

“Trust us, it’ll be worth it.”

“Ice Bear doesn’t mess with surprises.” Ice Bear commented.

They made their way to their destination where a fire took place. In no time, Panda and Ice Bear stopped Grizz in place as Ice Bear untied the blindfold.

“SURPRISE!!!” Chloe, her parents, Darrell, his wife Sofia, Lucy, her brother and boyfriend Clifford and Kale, Ranger Tabes, The Poppy Rangers, Griff, Tom, Isaac, Amanda, Samantha, Kazumi, and Karla shouted, catching Grizz by surprise.

“Wow!” Grizz reacted.

“Happy Bear Solidarity Day!” Panda cheered as the bears, small and big, jumped out of the brushes. They walked up to Grizz and they roared softly, not loud to disturb him.

“Happy Bear Solidarity Day?”

“It’s a holiday Panda and Ice Bear made back in San Francisco a week ago.” Chloe smiled.

“They’re celebrating the holiday over there, but it’s way better doing it here.” Ranger Tabes added.

Grizz teared up from the sight itself. His friends, brothers, and bears are celebrating a holiday they earned. “This is awesome!”

“You bet!” Griff and Kale replied.

Grizz and his brothers sat down next to the fireplace while the other bears sat next to the other humans. “I never thought we would get our very own holiday!”

“Believe me, it wasn’t easy to make it a holiday.” Panda giggled.

“It’s a long story.” Lucy replied.

“I’m still surprised you managed to get a holiday thanks to a heroic rescue.” Karla commented. “I wasn’t there when you three came back.”

“Surprised you didn’t see it on TV.” Darrell turned to her. “Everyone saw it.”

“I was out of the city.”

“Ohh, that’s right.” Grizz remembered. “You took a trip to Los Angeles for a week.”

“It was the closest place I could take a vacation.”

This gave Grizz a thought when it came to him and his brothers escaping even if it was anything but a vacation. “If you had to escape a corrupt government agent, you would probably have to go far away from California.” Sofia added.

“The bears did tell me their story and about Agent Trout, it’s just it was my first vacation in almost a decade.”

“Not that we blame you, it’s Trout we’ve been worrying about.” Panda replied.

The bear cubs hid behind Amanda’s leg in fear, still remembering how intimidating Agent Trout was. The panda girl picked one of them up, hugging to give it comfort from fear. “We all have a lot to think about but all that matters is that he's arrested and he’s not gonna be released from jail anytime soon.” She nuzzled on the cub.

“I still can’t believe you almost went to Canada.” Clifford replied. “Even if it wasn’t by choice.”

Grizz did tell them why they couldn’t go to Canada, but he didn’t plan out what their new life would’ve been. He wasn’t sure if they were safe, but in the current duration, he and his brothers were far from harm. “I only glorified the idea of going to Canada with my brothers. But we never stepped foot in the land because we did not have passports.”

“Ice Bear never experienced Royal Canadian Mounted Police.” Ice Bear commented.

“Not to mention there’s more bears there from what I saw online.” Chloe replied.

This gave Karla a thought, knowing how Canada has a variety of bears in the high north. She sat by the bears, taking them by notice. “Do you want to go to Canada?” She asked. “Even after everything that happened?”

Grizz and his brothers looked at the bears all wanting to know their answer. “If we had passports…” Soon everyone paid attention to Grizz. “...we still don’t know what life is like there.”

“Life in Canada looks good from the outside.” Diaz replied. “On the inside…”

“It’s a wonderful world to explore.” Murphy added.

The Poppy Rangers loved the idea of going to Canada, but Ranger Tabes still feels unsure. “It is but do you know what adventure it would be like?” She pointed at the bears.

“That’s a great question.” Kale commented.

“You went through a lot.” Tom added. “Everywhere you go, something happens.”

“There’s no avoiding it.” Samantha added.

The bears remembered their journeys, endless and endless journeys even from their house alone. But in a new environment like Canada, they don’t even know what the unexpected would be like.

“I guess we could try giving it a shot but we still need time.” Grizz answered.

“Adventure or experience, we need to plan out before…obviously.” Panda still remembers the whole passport problem.

“Ice Bear qualifies blueprint odyssey.” Ice Bear spoked.

“That’s fine.” Lucy smiled. “Just remind us when you're ready.”

“We'll come if you do, even if it requires passports.” Griff replied.

“Isaac all the way.” Isaac added.

The bears and friends returned to their holiday as they ate marshmallows, heating them over the fireplace. Soon the other bears allowed The Poppy Rangers, Chloe, and Clifford to ride on their backs along with cubs in the front and back. Bear Solidarity Day put the bros back in the mood, hanging out with their friends and how the changed society improved their lives. When it comes to their plans, they get back to that when they head back to their home.

Chapter 2 Mom App In Motion

When everyone left the forest, the bears returned back to their home. When Charlie came over, Grizz, Panda, and Ice Bear sat together on their sofa, thinking about their plan after telling Charlie their time with their friends.

“Canada?” Charlie blinked. “You three want to go there?”

“Yes, but we still need to plan this out.” Panda answered. “Passports are the first goal.”

“And taking people along.” Grizz remembered. “We really need to work out some of their schedules.”

Ice Bear knew he would take Chloe along, but there’s one person he wanted to bring, knowing it’ll take weeks until he reunites with her. He made a promise to himself to show her to his brothers but he didn’t know when the time was right.

“Ice Bear?” Grizz taped on Ice Bear’s shoulder. “Thinking of someone to bring along?”

Ice Bear nodded. “Ice Bear will show you tonight.”

Charlie crossed his arms, while looking at the ground. He wanted to come along, but at the same time, he still hasn’t got over his fear of being around humans. “Aren’t you gonna miss me if you do go?”

“Charlie, even if you do come along, you haven’t met all of our friends.” Grizz spoked.

“I was with a few of them when you came back.”

“Yeah up until you headed back to the forest.” Panda recalled.

“I didn’t have anything to do, even when you’re accepted in society, I just wanted to keep my distance from humans. I can’t let go of my fear.”

The bears wanted to help Charlie, but they’re aware how sensitive he is. Aside from Ranger Tabes, they still feel unsure about helping him meet their friends one by one. “We will miss you.” Grizz replied.

“Sorry bears, if only I can figure out a way to work out my problem.”

“It’s not like you couldn’t control your fear.” Panda replied. “I had fears I couldn’t let go.” As they got back to their Canada plan, there was only one way to resolve their passport problem. “Do you think we need someone to help us?”

“What do you mean?” Grizz asked.

“Like having someone to help out with the passports? Not to mention getting us in Canada? Our friends may be willing to come but if they can’t get their own passports on their own, we won’t be able to have our Canada adventure.”

“Ice Bear can’t get through the massive barrier.” Ice Bear commented.

Grizz couldn’t disagree. After the journey he and his brothers went through after being forced to leave San Francisco, they didn’t want the same set back to ruin everything all over again. Then an idea came to Grizz. “Panda, do you still have that Mom App?”

Panda blinked from the idea, he took out his phone while looking at the apps until the one his brother just mentioned. “Yes.” He responded. “I forgot to delete it.”

Grizz took the phone from Panda while pressing the Mom App. “We picked three moms while having one mom…get punished since we couldn’t cancel her.”

“You couldn’t cancel her?” Charlie asked.

“We called her mother, but it had nothing to do with cancel culture.” Panda answered.

When Grizz looked through the section of moms up until the one he picked last time. “This could work.” Grizz showing his brothers a picture of Gayle. “She could take care of not only our passports, but some of our friends too.”

“Wait, should we think about this? You know she embarrassed us and she’ll have to come with us.”

“It’ll be the only way to get to Canada. We can at least reason with her, she can be more than a mom.”

Panda and Ice Bear wanted to believe him, but they wished there’s another way. If they had the choice of picking a different mom, they would get themselves into the same predicament as before. But they agree that out of the three moms they picked, Gayle was the best.

“Okay, but there’s no going back.” Panda sighed.

“Ice Bear prays he doesn’t take violin lessons.” Ice Bear said, taking the risk.

“Charlie, you need to leave right now, the moment we press the button, she’ll be right at the front door.” Grizz pointed at the door.

“Okay.” Charlie makes his way to the back door of the house. “Good luck with your trip to Canada.”

“We'll find something to give you when we get back.”

Charlie felt a little better from their gesture before he headed out, finding a different route to prevent getting attention. Grizz pressed the button on the phone and in no time, Gayle knocked on their door. Like before, they walked up to the door as Grizz opened it, revealing Gayle.

“Oh it's you boys again.” She cheered. “Let’s throw a party to celebrate-”

“No! No! No! No!” Both Grizz and Panda shouted.

Ice Bear pulled Gayle inside while closing the door, placing her on the sofa. “Whoa! Then we can play party video games!”

“Maybe later, but please don’t do anything!” Grizz walked in front of Gayle.

“We support your supportiveness, but do it when we need it.” Panda added. “Even though…that’s not why we wanted you.”

Gayle felt confused after listening to the honesty from the bears. “Then what do you really want from me?”

Grizz sighed while telling the truth. “We want you to help us and our friends…to get passports to Canada.”

Gayle remained silent from the answer she received. She wasn’t happy, but she wasn’t mad either. All she wanted to do is support her boys with her part of the family, while in actuality, she’s only part of an app for services. “Do you love your mom?”

The bears looked at each other, not wanting to hurt her feelings. “Yes.”

“We’re doing activities in Canada. If you help us, we'll do anything to prove to you we love you.” Panda replied.

“Ice Bear won’t keep moms in the dark.” Ice Bear said.

“Well it’s not that I don’t like Canada, it’s just doing passports is the last thing I would want to do.” Gayle speaking honestly. “What kind of trip would it be like in Canada?”

“It’ll…be an adventure!” Grizz coming up for the solution. “We’re maybe separated in groups, but you will have a great adventure.”

“You can hang out with our friends. They’re really fun to be around.” Panda said.

Gayle found the idea appealing, especially with the surprises coming her way. Even a mother who takes their pride seriously, it still wouldn’t hurt to make friends if she helps coming along. She got up from the sofa, walked towards the bears while giving them a big hug.

“I love seeing my boys have their adventures!” She cheered. “Even if I’m not gonna be around for all of you three, you can still tell me everything that happened.”

“So you’re gonna help us with the passports?” Grizz wondered.

“You bet I am!”

“Great, we’re sending you to Ranger Tabes and The Poppy Rangers to help them out, after we play party video games!”

“Oh!”

As Grizz turned on his video game system, he gave Gayle her controller and so did Panda. Just when he’s about to give Ice Bear his controller, he made his way to the kitchen. “Ice Bear, it won’t be family without you.”

Ice Bear turned around before heading into the kitchen. “Ice Bear needs an important item before Ice Bear forgets.”

“Oh that’s right, we don’t want to leave a single friend out from the adventure.”

“We’re waiting for y'all.” Panda added.

Ice Bear entered the kitchen while opening the refrigerator. He’s thankful Grizz and Panda didn’t find out soon but his time ran out when the unexpected happened. He took out the necklace, from someone who they forgot to bring, and Ice Bear kept it to himself since. He however doesn’t know if Grizz and Panda will catch on if they meet the person, especially Chloe, who he wanted to tell her about it. He’s lucky enough to get the person’s phone number the last time he crossed paths, but he’s unsure if the person’s willing to accept the trip to Canada.

Chapter 3 Icy B’s Undercover Ally

Later in the night, Ice Bear took Grizz, Panda, Isaac and Chloe to the destination he usually goes during nighttime. Unlike him and Isaac, Grizz, Panda, and Chloe were too tired, planning to go to sleep. They never bothered Ice Bear’s daily nights out, but they were never those types. When they tried to follow him, they couldn’t keep up with Ice Bear riding on Roomba.

“Icy B.” Grizz yarned. “I appreciate you getting your closest friend to come along, but is it really necessary to do it this late?”

Ice Bear turned around while maintaining his balance on Roomba. “Yes.” He responded.

“I have to go to bed, Ice Bear.” Chloe trying to keep her eyes open. “I also need to work out my problem of heading to Canada too.”

“We still have time, but can we not do this at night?” Panda added.

Ice Bear and his group entered the hidden ally only he went to from time to time. He got off Roomba as he knocked on the door but no one responded like last time. He expected the bouncer to answer but after ten seconds, it felt like he wasn’t by the door.

“Hm!” Ice Bear reacted.

“Isaac senses no one’s taking the job as bouncer.” Isaac commented.

Ice Bear looked at the door while eavesdropping on it. He didn’t hear everything from the other side, as if no one’s inside. Then he decided to push the door as it opened, learning it was unlocked the whole time. They all entered inside with all the lights off. Ice Bear clapped twice to have Roomba turn on its flashlight capability.

“I don’t think anyone’s here.” Chloe looked around.

“Are those computers?” Panda pointed.

“And a coffee bar?” Grizz added.

Ice Bear went to the electric switches, turned off when the employees usually keep them on. He turned them on as the red leon lights of the word Coffee lit up. The green lights turned on around the bar, while the computers slowly turned on, taking everyone by surprise.

“So what is the person you wanted us to meet?” Grizz asked.

“Yana.” He responded.

“Who’s Yana?” Panda asked.

Ice Bear then opened the necklace, showing his bros and friends the picture of her and their parents. He pointed at her underneath, her father as they looked at her closely. “How old is that picture?” Chloe asked.

“Twenty years old.” Ice Bear answered.

“Really? How do you know what she looks like now?”

Then they heard the door being pushed open, taking their attention and so did Ice Bear as he closed the necklace. When she saw Ice Bear in person, she wasn’t fazed at all, especially his group with two bears. “Ice Bear never forgets human faces.”

Isaac took notice from the lady with purple highlights in her black hair with a tattoo on her arm. When she walked up to the group, she looked down at Chloe, taking her by surprise. “You must be Yana right?” She backed away a little.

“You catch on quick from him, huh?” Yana smirked.

Ice Bear then walked up to her while handing her the necklace. “Ice Bear kept personal belongings.”

“You had my necklace this whole time?” She took her necklace from him. “I thought I lost it.” She opened it, and witnessed her photo of two parents.

“Wow, an undercover dude.” Grizz commented. “That’s an interesting friend you have, Icy B.”

Ice Bear didn’t want to retort to his brother, but he knew he won’t get the real truth from what his night outs are like. “Ice Bear, brothers, and friends are going to Canada. Ice Bear wants to know if you want to come.” He offered.

“Canada?” Yana responded. “Seems an odd place to go after the many places we went.”

“You went to different places?” Chloe took notice.

“Yes. Places all over the globe, Tokyo, just to name one of them.”

“Tokyo!?” Panda reacted. “Why didn’t you tell us Ice Bear!?”

“Okay, let’s not get over our heads.” Grizz pulling Panda away. “But still, you didn’t tell us about this?”

“Ice Bear wants to be a solo adventurer.” Ice Bear responded.

“Isaac was overthrown by a world traveling bear.” Issac replied.

Yana laughed from Ice Bear’s bros. “I have to say your bros are kind of funny. Not to mention your friend there seems to qualify for missions.” She stared at Isaac. “As for your offer, I’ll take it. Besides from how our troubles got last time, it’s better to go somewhere that isn’t a deathtrap.”

This caused Ice Bear to place his paws on his face, causing his brothers to take notice. “On second thought, it’s better if you never told us what you’ve been doing over night.” Panda awkwardly grinned.

“Why is this coffee place closed with the door unlocked?” Grizz asked.

“I had to quit my job and the people who used to work here abandoned this place due to…Barry finding out where I work.” Yana sighed. “Granted I wish he and his goons would leave me alone, but I knew it would just get uglier.”

“Just hearing the name Barry is someone I really don’t want to meet, just like how I met Agent Trout.” Chloe commented which caused Yana to lean down.

“I’ve heard of him and I saw Ice Bear on TV when I was at a bar. Haven’t heard of him since you came back.” She looked up at Ice Bear while back at Chloe. “If you saw me and him together, we would make an unstoppable team.”

Chloe looked back to Ice Bear, from time to time, they’ve done so much together but when it comes to missions, she looked at Roomba. She wished she experienced what Ice Bear accomplished, but living on the verge of danger is the last thing she wanted. But her attention was turned to Yana’s necklace, remembering her parents. “Do you remember the last time you met your parents?”

“Not much, life was different when I was with them and it changed when I came here.”

“It’s sad that your mom and dad aren’t gonna be in Canada.” Grizz spoked. “I believe it would make your time there.”

“It’s not like I was expecting more. If there's a will there’s a way of getting away from Barry.”

When Ice Bear looked at Roomba, he planned on bringing it along, but was having second thoughts. If Barry is still in San Francisco, he could find his home and rob it. But if he does bring it, he could encounter him with him being a step ahead of him. However with Yana by his side, she’s right about him and her being an unstoppable team. And with Isaac by his side, he has no problem telling him everything.

“Ice Bear makes sure our trip is harm free.” He responded.

“I’ll pack up and I’ll come when you’re ready.” Yana smiled. Just when she’s about to head out, she turned around. “By the way, I found your little kid my favorite.” As she headed out, it caused Chloe to smile a bit.

“Looks like I’m gonna be making a friend in Canada.” Chloe replied. “If I can still resolve to go to Canada.”

“We’re still working it out.” Grizz looked at Chloe. “Do you need to convince your college principals your trip to Canada is important?”

“They wanted me to do research in Canada, but I turned it down. Too much work for me to handle nor have fun.”

“You could write a story about your experiences in Canada.”

“Yeah, it’s still an adventure and it’s also your adventure.” Panda added.

“Ice Bear’s happy to read Chloe’s Canada adventure.” Ice Bear replied.

“Okay, I’ll tell them that.” Chloe smiled. “That’s something I would have fun to do.”

“I do want you to meet someone tomorrow. Ranger Tabes, Griff, and Karla are gonna come also. If he wants to come, that is.” Grizz placed his paws on his body. “I still can’t believe you haven’t heard of him yet.”

“Isaac is aware of celebrity animals, but never knew them personally.” Isaac commented.

“I can tell he won’t like Ranger Tabes at all.”

“I’m still looking forward to meeting him. Especially since I might make a friend with someone we just met.” Chloe said.

“Trust us, he’s not gonna be like Yana.” Panda replied. “Anyway, we should head home. Me, Lucy, Clifford, Kale, Kazumi, and Tom are gonna go to Amanda’s house first thing in the morning.”

The Bears and two humans left the coffee building as Ice Bear took Chloe home, the same way he did after the camping day he had not too long ago. The moment he arrives in Canada with Yana by his side, he’ll be prepared if any foe similar to Barry or Trout gets in his way.

[buggachat]

Are we gonna find out why tikki and plagg aren’t there soon? I’m so curious where they went and why they aren’t around so they can’t be superhero’s

It'll be referenced, but what happened to them isn't a secret. After the final battle, all of the kwamis were put in hibernation. Tikki and Plagg are in their miraculouses currently (that Marinette and Adrien both still have), but they can't come out. They'll come back out some day, but Marinette and Adrien have no idea when that day is. Could be days.... months..... years......... decades....... centuries.......... they have no idea.

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

I know the Shiro as Bruce Wayne's kid fic is probably abandoned (not meant as a slight or anything btw i have So Many fics i've abandoned writing as well) but i just read through it and i gotta say it is So Damn Incredible. The idea of former tech support, happy to be civilian, Shiro ending up the one in the most shit is insanely good. I keep thinking about the bats reaction to the footage of Shiro when he crash landed on Earth before Keith grabbed him, to see the replaced arm and numerous scars and shock of white hair, and the relief of him being alive but At What Cost?

If they ever manage to get their hands on tapings of Shiro's time in the arena you Know they would watch every single one, to the point they know more about Shiro's missing year than he does. Bruce would be so torn because Shiro used the knowledge and quick thinking passed down to him to stay alive but Shiro wasn't ever meant to be in danger like this. Shiro wasn't ever supposed to be in a situation so dangerous. His son only wanted to be an astronaut.

(Is he cursed to forever see the ones he loves suffer?)

Jason with his hackles raised preemptively in defense of Shiro because fuck the no killing rule, Shiro had always been the best of them and this hasn't changed it. Dudes ready to fight Green Lantern if the guy says the Galra aren't 'that bad' one more time - Look What They Did To His Brother, Obviously They Won't Say Shit To You If They're Planning On Invading Earth! You're From Earth!

Sorry for all my blabbering, It's just really good and i'm very thankful you wrote it <3

Anon I hope you see this.

1. Guess what bud that fic is coming out of hibernation bc I’m back into Voltron and I’m still ongoing into Batman and it’s been churning in my mind. Part of my plans for spring break next week include rereading my fic, rereading all my writing notes, working out where to go with it, going back and editing the chapters I already have written, and starting to write the rest of it. I make no promises on the timeline of a new chapter, as I’m in grad school and super busy, but that fic has lived rent free in my mind for half of a decade.

2. Thank you so much for your comments and enthusiasm!!! YEAH like part of the juiciness is that this is supposed to be Bruce’s civilian son who just wanted to be an astronaut!!!!! Flying space ships is so safe on the relative scale of things!!!!!!! But no!! Instead it’s his son who ends up like put through unimaginable torment AND who has to kill so much!!! The complexes that is going to give everyone.

The green lanterns are an aspect I had to and still have to think a lot about to work in to world building but YEAH Jason would be mad as hell. Tbh I think Hal Jordan would be equally ready to fight the galra bc he definitely had a bond with Shiro bc that’s Bruce’s coworker in the piloting/space industry

Ok the batfam seeing the footage of gladiator fights is something that I can’t remember if it was in my notes but like woof anon might have to use that bc that concept is juicy as hell

Anyways thank you so much for this message. I hope you know I’m gonna start working on that fic again very very soon

[thruheavenandhighwater]

Young and Dumb

Part Five; 1988

[[PART ONE]] [[PART TWO]] [[PART THREE]] [[PART FOUR]]

Pairing: Steve Harrington/ Eddie Munson

Requested By: NA

Word Count: 1,804

Series Summary: Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington were best friends. Joined at the hip for a decade and truly inseparable, you never got to see one without the other. Until the summer before high school when everything changed. But now they each have Dustin. What will happen when young Henderson decides it’s time for the two most important people in his life to finally meet?

Chapter Summary: Eddie and Steve deal with the aftermath of Steves... outburst in part four.

Stranger Things Masterlist

Steddie Masterlist

~~~~~

Suddenly Steve was shot back down to earth. He was in Eddie's kitchen, tears on his cheeks, and he'd just kissed him. He opened his mouth to speak. To explain. To beg. To do anything. But all that came out of Steve's open mouth was a desperate and ragged sounding breath. He turned to leave but was stopped by a strong hand on his wrist. 

"No, you don't get to walk away from this. What the fuck was that?" 

The question stung even more the second time. He knew he couldn't undo the kiss. Just like he couldn't undo four years of bullying when they shared the high school halls. Just like he couldn't undo the moment he turned Eddie away when he was fourteen. Like he couldn't undo the feelings he had for him. 

"I'm-" another apology stopped on his tongue. The words sounded so stupid now. "I shouldn't have done that." 

Eddie's shoulders dropped. His fingers twitched at his sides. He let out a long breath and took a step towards Steve. "Tell me what's going on." He demanded quietly.

Steve looked to the floor. The old linoleum scratched and dented by years of wear. He spared a glance at Eddie, trying to figure out what to say. The older boys eyes were almost pleading as he looked back at him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd looked at Eddie and seen anything other than anger or hurt. He took a breath, the tip of his tongue peeking out through his lips as he gathered his thoughts. 

"Do you remember that summer?" He asked finally. 

"'81?" Eddie questioned, nodding. 

"Yeah, '81." Steve sighed. "We were both all excited about high school. You were thinking about joining the band." 

Eddie stayed silent and motionless as he listened to Steve recount their last few weeks together so many years ago. He wanted to cross his arms again. But he didn't. He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. Eddie was done building walls. 

"God, you're gonna- just… Can we sit down?" 

Eddie nodded, his eyes moving from Steve's face to the old couch behind him. The pair silently walked to it before taking the seats on either end. Steve turned to Eddie, bringing his knee up to the cushion between them. 

"This is going to sound so fucking weird, but please, just listen." Eddie nodded again as he shifted in his seat. "You, uh, well - oh my god." 

"Just say it," Eddie prompted, an edge to his voice as he grew annoyed of Steve's dancing around his words. 

"You started to change. Right around Christmas, you started to change." 

"I never changed, Steve." 

"You did, though!" He exclaimed. "Your body, your voice. Everything." 

Eddie shook his head, curls bouncing as he closed his eyes. "You stopped being friends with me because I went through puberty first?"

"That wasn't the only reason," Steve answered, looking down to where his hands sat in his lap. 

"Good," Eddie giggled. "Because that would be so stupid." 

Eddie's giggle was like a song to Steve. It was different than the last time he'd heard it. Lower in pitch, but still light and pretty. The butterflies Steve had confused for stomach aches woke up from their seven year hibernation. He couldn't stop the smile that quickly spread over his face. 

"I remember when your voice started changing," he remembered fondly. "You sounded like an idiot every time your voice would crack. It always made me laugh." 

"Yeah, I know," Eddie laughed at the memory.

Steve looked up from his lap and was surprised to find a smile on Eddie's face. His dimples showing on his cheeks. It had been so long since Steve had seen them. He forgot how cute they were. How young they made Eddie look.

"And then you started getting all these crazy muscles. I'm gonna be honest, I was a little jealous of that part. I used to watch you stretch and I was like, mesmerized at how your arms moved." 

Eddie didn't answer this time. His smile had fallen into something unreadable. His eyes stayed on Steve, giving him time to keep going. He still wanted an explanation.

"Then, that weekend my dad bought us that tent for the backyard. We went swimming all afternoon after we set it up." Eddie nodded, recalling the day in question. Steve could feel his pulse racing as he got closer and closer to the truth. Tears pricked at the backs of his eyes like white hot needles. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to steady his voice. 

"You, uh, well you took your shirt off and cannonballed into the pool. At first it was just funny. You were always funny. But then you pulled yourself out of the water and the sun was shining and all I could see was how your back glistened. The way the water drops fell from your hair onto your shoulders. It made my stomach hurt." 

"Steve," Eddie said so quietly that he wasn't sure he'd said it at all. 

"I really did think I was just jealous. I thought that I was mad at you for being older than me, and becoming a man before I did. But that wasn't what it was." He took another steadying breath, swallowing around nothing before letting it out. 

"I sat at my aunt's house and listened to my cousin Tracy talk about her new boyfriend for, like, hours. She said that she could never keep her eyes off of him. That she'd look at a picture of the two of them a million times a day. She said she missed him as soon as he was out of the room. She, uh, she said that she got the craziest butterflies in her stomach when he was around.

"And the whole time she was going on and on and on about this guy, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Everything she was saying, was how I felt about you. I thought it was normal to think about your best friend all day. To miss him when he went home even though we just spent the whole weekend together. But it was the butterflies. When she said she got butterflies around him, I knew. I knew I wasn't jealous. I knew that it wasn't random stomach aches. It was, I don't know, a crush? Puppy love? Whatever it was, it scared the fuck out of me. So I ran away from it. I pushed you away and I hurt you so that I wouldn't have to deal with it. And that's so fucked up of me, and I'm sorry." 

Steve didn't know if the tears that were falling down his cheeks were tears of relief or of pain. He felt both things in equal measure. Part of him was happy that everything was finally out. But the rest of him was terrified. Terrified of being rejected, of Eddie kicking him out and telling the whole town that Steve Harrington was a queer. He would have deserved that. 

When he brought his hands to his face to wipe the tears, he felt the couch shifting beside him. Eddie was now sitting in a similar position to Steve, one knee on the cushion between them as they faced each other. Their denim clad knees knocked against one another as Eddie leaned closer to Steve. 

"What are you saying?" He asked. Steve looked into his eyes, silently pleading. "I need to hear you say it, Steve." 

"I loved you." He finally said, tears falling as he spoke. "I was in love with you. And I was so young, and so stupid, and so scared of it." 

"And now?" Eddie asked. "How do you feel now?" 

"I still love you." He breathed.

Now it was Eddie's turn to look away. He assumed a similar stance to Steve's, hands rested on his lap as he inspected them more closely than he ever had before. He picked at his cuticles while his mind raced. He wasn't sure what he'd expected when he opened his door to Steve Harrington for the first time in seven years, but it was safe to say that a love confession wasn't it. 

"Steve," his voice could have broken Steve then and there. It sounded sad and almost sorry. Steve braced himself for what was coming next. "I spent seven years missing my best friend. And now he's here, sitting in my living room and telling me that the reason he left was… because he was in love with me? I think I'm just gonna need some time, ya know? To like, process everything." 

Steve nodded. That was understandable. More than fair, even. He stood from the couch and wordlessly moved to the door. When his hand touched the doorknob, he almost turned around. If he had, he would have seen Eddie on the couch, his head still dropped to his chest as he thought about what had just happened. But he didn't. He turned the knob, stepped through the door, and closed it behind him. 

He didn't know what was next. He wasn't sure if anything was going to be different between them now that he had come clean. He couldn't help but to hope as he walked across the lawn and stuck his key into the car door. He sat in silence for a bit outside of the small home that held so many memories, and now, his greatest secret. 

Suddenly the passenger door of his car was flying open. Steve jumped at the unexpected interruption. He turned towards the passenger seat to find Eddie plopped into the leather seat, grinning back at him. 

"So, I've had time to process." 

"You have?" Steve laughed, the butterflies in his stomach on overdrive. 

"I have," Eddie confirmed. "And I have to say, that was a piss poor first kiss, Harrington. All through school I heard tale after tale of King Steve and his sexual prowess. Gotta say, I'm kinda disappointed." 

Steve rolled his eyes, his smile growing. "Well, I'd hate to leave you disappointed." He noticed a pink blush crawling over Eddie's cheeks as he leaned over his center console. 

This kiss could not have been more different than the one they'd shared in Eddie's kitchen. It wasn't desperate or harsh or full of unspoken truths and fear. This was soft. It was sweet and tender. Eddie's hand cupped Steve's jaw gently. One of Steve's hands found Eddie's knee, the other landed on his shoulder, being tickled by his long curls. Both men could feel the other smiling into the kiss. It was perfect. 

"That was what our first kiss should have been," Steve whispered once Eddie pulled away. 

"Oh, so you've thought about kissing me?" 

"Spent seven years thinking about it, Eddie." 

~~~~~

Feedback is always appreciated! If you'd like to be tagged in my Stranger Things fics, please let me know. I also have individual tag lists for Steve, Eddie, Robin, Nancy, and Steddie.

[curlynerd]

Just Say It

Happy gift posting day for the @starrynightdeancas gift exchange! I had two assignees, so I'm posting two fics today! My 2nd gift recipient is @deanwinchesteradjacent! She requested canon-adjacent Destiel with fluff, action, and a happy ending. I hope you like it! <3

Word Count: 7.5K Rating: T Summary: A string of violent deaths at an otherwise charming B&B was all the excuse Dean needed to drag Cas down to Florida for some fun in the sun. Things had been awkward since Cas came back from the Empty and they could finally be together, but Dean was sure that a romantic getaway was the perfect thing to help Cas get out of the training wheels stage of Angel's-First-Romance and start acting like a real couple. Just as soon as they took care of a vengeful spirit. What could possibly go wrong? Notes: Post canon, fix-it fic, oneshot, love confessions, Dean is bad at feelings, case fic, beach fic.

Also read it on AO3!

“Alright, I’m heading out.”

“Did you pack deodorant?”

“Dean…”

“Toothpaste? Mouthwash?”

“...”

“Those fancy hair products? Cuz there’s just. So. Many--”

“Dean! I’ve lived my whole life on the road. I know how to pack a damn dufflebag!”

Dean smirked, unperturbed by Sam’s whining. “Yeah but Eileen is a classy lady. She’s not gonna put up with your usual road stank.”

Sam sighed in annoyance as he readjusted the bag on his shoulder. “I’m not the one who wears his underwear three days in a row, jerk.”

“Better leave that attitude at home, bitch,” Dean said cheerfully. “It’s your anniversary, after all.”

Sam’s mouth twitched into a shy grin despite his best efforts. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be on my best behavior,” he said, letting Dean have one last bit of fun before he left. “You and Cas too. Don’t get into trouble.” He nodded in farewell before he climbed the stairs to the bunker door.

“Oh, and Sammy?”

Sam paused at the top of the stairs and turned around. Almost like he could sense what was coming, his eyebrow twitched in irritation. Dean hucked a box up to the landing, and Sam fumbled to catch it. Dean flashed a shit-eating grin as Sam read the Trojan label and fixed him with a scowl. “Make sure you wrap it before you tap it, Sammy.”

Sam rolled his eyes as he walked out the door.

Dean laughed to himself as he turned back to his laptop, scrolling through news articles looking for a hunt. He was still at it an hour later when Cas came shuffling into the room still in his pajamas, two cups of coffee in hand.

“Mornin’ Sunshine,” Dean crooned cheerfully. Cas’ hair was in wild disarray, and between that and his worn, brown sweatshirt and loose pajama bottoms, he looked more like a bear stumbling out of hibernation than a guy just waking up. “Sam already left.”

Cas set a mug down in front of Dean before slumping down into the chair beside him. “I hope he and Eileen have fun this week,” he mumbled as he hunched over his coffee.

Dean smiled at how adorable Cas looked, all grumpy and sleep-ruffled. He was still an angel...somewhat. He had Grace, if only a little. So close to mortality, Cas often needed mundane human things like sleep and food. He wasn’t particularly thrilled about it. In fact, he was so irritated about the whole thing that Dean hadn’t been able to work up the nerve to invite him to sleep in his room, instead of alone. Dean chewed on his lower lip. Maybe after this case, things would change.

“Are you looking up a case?” Cas asked, tilting toward Dean’s screen.

“Uh...yeah.” With forced casualness, Dean turned the laptop so Cas could read a headline from last year: “Gruesome Death at Bed and Breakfast Leaves Locals Worried.” “Over the past forty years, there’ve been six deaths at this B&B. All either heart attacks or a brain hemorrhage. All without a scratch on ‘em. Always a couple. Always on the same night: this Friday. That sure screams ‘ghost’ to me.”

“Key West?” Cas asked as he scanned the article. “Florida? That’s quite a drive.”

Dean shrugged. His fingers tapped against the tabletop. “It is, but hell, why not? Sam gets the week off with Eileen, why can’t we have a little vacation too?”

Cas narrowed his eyes. Suspicious. He was suspicious. Was a little time off really so bad? “You haven’t taken a vacation the entire time I’ve known you.”

“Yeah, well…” Dean struggled to come up with a good excuse. “That was, ya know. Before.”

“Before,” Cas repeated stiffly.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Before everything.” He gestured around his head. Before Cas told him he loved him and immediately died. Before Dean rescued him from The Empty. Before they wound up in this awkward, stilted Angel’s-First-Romance training wheels relationship Dean found them in.

That seemed to placate Cas. He nodded and took another sip of coffee. “The beach would be nice…”

Dean broke into a grin. “Better than nice! Toes in the sand, drinks with little umbrellas… That’s better than paradise.” He gave Cas’ shoulder a friendly pat. Then--because he could, couldn’t he?--Dean let his hand run along the broad expanse of Cas’ shoulder and gently cup the back of his neck.

This was okay, right? He’d held back on any sort of real PDA because of how uncomfortable Cas would act. And that was okay. He understood. Angels and intimacy...Well, angels just worked differently than humans. And it was all new to Cas! It took him over a decade to say he loved Dean. It would probably take awhile before he was ready to hold hands.

But this wasn’t very much, right? Just a light hand on the back of his neck. This was about as innocent as things got!

Except Cas went stiff under Dean, and Dean took the hint and pulled his hand away as he bit back a sigh. So much for that.

His eyes trailed back to his laptop. Hopefully this getaway would change things, help Cas loosen up and finally see that they could act even a little like a couple now. A romantic beach, warm sunshine, half-naked romps in the water, a cozy and only slightly haunted bed and breakfast…

What could go wrong?

----

Three days and one slightly terrifying highway over the ocean later, Dean and Cas pulled into a parking space for a charming bed and breakfast painted in a lovely pale--

“Lavender?” Dean balked at the decidedly dainty color of the siding. “I know they like their pastels here, but geez…”

“It’s just a paint color,” Cas said as he crossed around to the trunk and started unloading their bags. The duffle full of salt, shotguns, and various iron weapons clanked ominously. He shouldered it carefully so it wouldn’t make so much noise.

“This whole street is like friggin’ Candy Land.” Dean eyeballed the canary yellow house across the street suspiciously as they made their way to the front door.

The inside was clearly the result of a scandalous love affair between a Jimmy Buffet concert and a Hallmark store--All tacky tropical themed furniture and a dizzying array of porcelain figurines.

Dean grinned from ear to ear and elbowed Cas. At Cas’ inquisitive eyebrow, Dean nodded his head to a shelf full of long-haired, sad-eyed blonde angels. Cas rolled his eyes while Dean laughed to himself.

“Hello! Can I help you?” An older woman sat behind a small reception desk, smiling warmly at them in the glow of her ancient computer.

Dean put on his best people-pleasing smile. “Yes you can. Hi, I’m Dean, and this is my, uh…” Dean glanced over to Cas and his eyes crinkled in delight. “Cas. This is my boyfriend, Cas.” Just the word caused a giddy bubble of effervescence to float inside Dean’s chest. After all this time, they were really here. This was real.

Cas offered the receptionist a small, tight smile before turning his studious gaze to the figurines on the wall shelves. The woman furrowed her brow, so Dean charged forward with the conversation before Cas’ awkwardness put her off. If they were going to pry into the case here, they needed her to be friendly with them. “I booked a reservation for this weekend. It--Are you guys still open? It’s kinda quiet in here.” Dean glanced around the empty living space. There weren’t any other cars parked outside either.

The woman waved off his concerns. “Oh yes, it’s just the off season right now. Some weekends are like that.” She spoke a little too quickly as she clicked through her computer. Dean suspected all the news articles about bloody deaths had something to do with it. “Not hard to find your reservation. You’re our only guests tonight.” She grabbed two keys off a hook and held them out for Dean. “You’ll be in room 4, down at the end of the hallway upstairs. It’s the largest one. If you need extra towels or anything, let me know. I’m Susan.”

Sensing they were about to be dismissed, Dean swerved into a distraction. “You know, we’ve been on the road for ages. Do you have any coffee or anything like that? A little wakeup before we hit the beach?”

Susan pushed back from the desk. “Oh of course! I was about to get some for myself, actually. I’ll be right back.”

“Keep an eye out for anything suspicious, Cas,” Dean muttered as Susan disappeared down a hallway. “Anything out of place or really old. You know, haunted stuff.” Cas nodded, and Dean covertly pulled his EMF reader out of his jacket pocket and flicked it on. It was silent. They both made a pass of the room, pretending to look around.

“Here we are!” Susan said brightly, expertly holding three coffee mugs in her hands. Dean jumped a little and hastily put his device away before turning around. “I hope cream and sugar is okay.”

“Any caffeine is fine,” he assured her as he and Cas took their mugs. “So Susan, what is there to do around here? You know, other than what Yelp says. The insider’s scoop.” Dean winked as he took a sip of his coffee.

Susan smiled. “Well, if nightlife is your thing, there are some great spots within walking distance.”

Dean chuckled. “C’mon, Susan. Does this guy look like much of a dancer?” He grinned fondly at Cas as he draped his arm over his shoulders. It was ridiculous how much his stomach fluttered from the small action, but dammit, after all they’d been through to get here, Dean had earned a few butterflies. He squeezed Cas’ shoulder even though Cas didn’t really react. Dean was definitely going to have to clarify that the personal space rule didn’t apply anymore.

“Well, the restaurant down the street also does an excellent brunch,” Susan offered instead.

“Now that’s more our speed.” Maybe if the hunt went well they could actually stay the night, instead of getting the hell out of Dodge before the cops chased them down. Keep their salt and burn quiet and enjoy a nice night in. Dean tried not to get his hopes up for sharing a bed with Cas.

And he did mean sharing a bed. Things were moving so slowly between him and Cas he’d be thrilled just to spoon, nevermind anything else. Dean bit back a sigh as he swept over all of the knick-knacks and decorations, hoping for some sort of clue as to the identity of their ghost. “I’ve gotta say, I love the decor. Is all of this your collection?” Maybe a haunted object? Or a cursed one?

“Most of it.” A faint twinge of wistfulness colored Susan’s words as she looked over the porcelain figurines. “My Marcy liked to collect the angels, but that was years and years ago.”

On a high shelf was a large urn next to an oil painting of a young woman that immediately pinged Dean’s hunter’s instincts. “That’s a lovely painting over there,” he said, catching Cas’ eye meaningfully. Cas turned around to look too.

Susan’s face melted into a quiet, sad smile. “Yes, that’s my Marcy right there. A self-portrait. She was such a talented artist.”

Cas tilted his head. “She was your...wife?” he guessed.

Susan’s face crumpled. “No. No we were never…” She took a deep breath and continued in a steadier tone. “She was my business partner, but I loved her. Very much. And I knew she loved me too. So I suppose you could say we were almost together. Should have been together.” Her lower lip trembled.

“If you don’t mind my asking, what stopped you?” Dean felt bad for pressing her for information that was clearly upsetting, but people’s lives were at stake. Possibly Susan’s own.

Susan curled her hands around her mug, staring into the steaming coffee with a far off look in her eyes. “I was afraid. Of my own feelings. Of opening myself to getting hurt. So I...When Marcy needed me to be honest about how I felt I...I let her down. She got mad...We fought...She ran off. There was an accident, and...Well...” Susan took another deep breath. Her eyes were glassy with tears and heavy with regret. “Today is the anniversary of the day she died.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Dean said, injecting even more sincerity into his words even though he expected as much. Marcy was the best lead so far. Was she attacking people on the anniversary of her death? She was obviously cremated, but perhaps there was something keeping her tied here?

“Not your fault,” she said with the heaviness of one who had heard those words hundreds of times. She shook her head. “You’re not the reason she--” Susan cut herself off and swallowed down her tears. Despite her best efforts, a single tear trailed down her cheek.

“It sounds like you loved her very much,” Cas said, his voice infused with genuine sympathy.

“She was my world. I loved her more than she’ll ever know...” Again Susan fell silent, this time lost in thought.

Then, with a deep, resettling breath, she wiped at her eyes with the edge of her finger and forced a cheerful expression. “But enough of that. You’re my guests. You don’t need to hear all of that! Do you need anything while you get settled in? More towels? Recommendations for restaurants?”

Dean shook his head, “Appreciate it ma’am, but we’ll probably just grab whatever’s convenient around here.”

“Well, would you like to eat here? Usually I don’t serve dinner for guests, but since it’s only the two of you, I can cook up something if you’d like. I honestly wouldn’t mind the company.”

Sensing another opportunity to interview Susan, Dean smiled his very best ‘comforting the bereaved’ smile. “We’d like that very much, Susan. Thank you for offering.” Then, carefully timed almost like an afterthought, he added, “Oh, and what’s the wifi password?”

Upstairs their room was somewhat small but airy. The walls were a crisp, breezy blue, the linens bright white. There was even a gauzy white canopy draped around the four-poster bed. Dean grinned. One bed. Surely that was cause for some optimism about tonight.

“I dunno about you, but I’m gonna sleep like a log tonight,” he said with the most casual tone he could muster as he grabbed the weapons bag off Cas’ shoulder and deposited it on the duvet. “What about you? Think you’ll need a couple z’s?” ‘Please say yes.’

Cas eyed the bed. Something strange flickered across his face. Something heavy, even sad. Dean immediately felt like a jackass for reminding Cas about his weak Grace. “I mean, who knows how you’ll feel tonight,” Dean added hastily. He started digging through his bag for his laptop. “Get some sea air in your lungs, and you might wake right up.”

Cas pursed his lips. “I suppose so,” he said, his voice carefully neutral. He turned away from Dean and started roaming the room, looking over the artwork on the walls and the little beachy decorations on the furniture. He came to a stop.

“This looks like Susan and Marcy,” he said, letting his fingers trail along the frame of a painting over the dresser.

“Yeah?” Dean looked up from his booting laptop. It was an oil painting like the one downstairs, with a young couple in bright dresses making each other laugh in front of a backdrop of a stormy gray ocean. One was undeniably a much younger Susan. Marcy looked the same as she did in the painting downstairs.

Cas frowned a little and pulled his hand back from the frame. He glanced around the ceiling and only relaxed when he saw an air-conditioning vent gently humming nearby. Dean shrugged it off and turned back to his laptop. He set right to work searching through the local newspaper archives and breaking into the coroner’s office servers. Finding their ghost was only a matter of time.

“Got it. Marcy Daniels. Died forty-three years ago tonight.” Dean flipped his laptop around so Cas could read the news article. “Hit by a car. Right outside this house. Died before she even got to the hospital.”

Cas squinted at the screen. The photo attached to the article looked just like the woman in the paintings. “And you think she’s the ghost?”

Dean shrugged. “Seems as good a guess as any. Violent death. Susan said they were fighting right before. Probably something happened between them that left Marcy pissed off enough to stay in the veil.”

Cas nodded. “We should ask her about it.”

“Nah, she’s not gonna let us grill her about her dead partner like that. We’ll strike up a conversation at dinner. That should give us enough time to figure out what’s keeping Marcy here before she attacks tonight.”

Cas deferred to Dean’s hunting experience. “Well then what should we do until then?”

Dean grinned from ear to ear. “What do you think we should do? To the beach!”

---

Dean shut the trunk of the Impala and straightened his back, lifting his face to the breeze blowing in from the sea. He breathed in deeply. “God, smell that salt air…” he said with a wistful smile. When he turned to Cas, the angel was looking at him with fondness, warmth making his blue eyes brighter. Dean’s smile grew, and he lifted up his sunglasses to flash Cas a playful wink. Cas quickly ducked his head and started walking.

Dean bit back a groan as he followed behind him with their beach bag. What was he doing wrong? He was trying to be gentle, to give Cas enough space to adjust to the idea that they were together now on his own. After all of the crap they’d been through together, after so many things keeping them apart, he understood why Cas was struggling. Hell, he’d been squashing down his feelings for so long, Cas probably didn’t know how to let himself have this happiness.

At least, that was what Dean kept telling himself. Deep down, though, he was afraid that Cas’ feelings were changing.

“There’s a good spot,” Dean said, jogging up behind Cas and forcing down his depressing thoughts before they could meet up with his self-loathing and really cause problems. He grabbed Cas’ arm and tugged him toward an unoccupied part of the sand. The weather was a little too temperamental this time of year to attract huge crowds, but there were still plenty of people out enjoying the sunshine.

Cas let himself be led, his flip-flops flapping awkwardly over the sand. Dean laughed a little, even though his footing wasn’t much better. When they’d walked far enough away from the boardwalk, Dean unceremoniously dropped their bag and dug out a large blanket to lay out.

“Perfect,” he declared as he tipped up his sunglasses to survey his work. He plopped down on the blanket and shucked off his shirt. A quick glance up let him catch the way Cas’ eyes widened for a fraction of a second before his expression smoothed over. Dean wiggled his eyebrows at Cas, but he didn’t see because he turned around like a friggin’ Victorian lady in order to pull off his own shirt before he sat down in front of Dean, facing the ocean. Dean’s gaze swept down the broad, muscular expanse of Cas’ back, and he could barely contain the heat in his eyes and in his grin.

Only then did Cas glance over his shoulder and catch Dean’s eye. Dean bit his lip suggestively, his grin widening, but Cas’ cheeks turned lightly pink and turned his head away. He rubbed at the back of his neck. Nervous, huh? Well that was alright. Dean could lighten the mood.

He held up the bottle of sunscreen. “Alright, let’s spackle your back.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary, Dean,” Cas said, not turning around. His voice sounded even more gruff than usual, which was certainly saying something.

“Nonsense!” Dean was already squirting a healthy dollop of sunscreen in his palm. “You can get sunburned, same as the rest of us.”

Cas sighed heavily. His shoulders twitched, tense, but he didn’t protest when Dean slapped his hand at the middle of his back.

Dean set to work rubbing the cream into Cas’ warm skin. “See? This is nice. It’s like a mini-massage.” He made sure to move slowly, almost caressing him. His stomach fluttered with the faintest whisper of excitement. This was the closest thing he’d gotten to action in months, after all. And Cas’ back was nice. Broad and firm and far more muscular than Dean would have guessed. His heart did a little tapdance at knowing that he was allowed to freely ogle now.

“I like seeing you out of the trenchcoat,” Dean said, now using both hands to stroke up and down Cas’ skin. Cas tensed again. “I mean, you look good under all those layers,” Dean said hastily, afraid that the reminder of his waning Grace was too painful. “When did you get so beefy?” Dean slid his hands up to Cas’ shoulders and then down his thick arms. He squeezed them playfully as he shifted closer, letting his knees bump against him.

He leaned in close so he could almost whisper, “Wish I could see it somewhere other than the beach.”

Cas’ back became hard as marble. He lowered his head. “That’s enough, Dean,” he said softly. His voice trembled with some barely contained emotion Dean didn’t understand.

Disappointment rose up Dean’s throat like bile. “Seriously? I’m almost done!”

Cas twisted around, his face pulled into a scowl. His cheeks were flushed. “Dean! I’m an angel! I don’t need this!”

Dean pulled back. “What? I can’t even put sunscreen on you now?” he demanded.

Cas didn’t have an answer to that. He only glared, his eyes flickering with something Dean couldn’t quite figure out. Pain? Longing? Regret?

Knowing Dean’s penchant for screwing things up all the time, it was almost certainly the latter.

Cas breathed out a long, frustrated breath and rose to his feet. “I’m...going for a walk,” he said. He folded his arms over his bare chest.

“Cas,” Dean pleaded. What had he done wrong? Why was Cas so mad?

Cas shook his head. “Please, Dean.” With one last glance filled with that strange, heartache-inducing emotion, Cas turned and started walking down the beach alone.

Dean stared after him as he left. “What the hell?” he said under his breath. The sting of rejection quietly throbbed in his chest as he turned his gaze to the ocean. What had he done to piss Cas off? Had he really crossed a boundary, or was something else wrong? Cas had been so weird since he’d been back. Shouldn’t he be happy? Hell, telling Dean he loved him was the happiest Cas had ever been, right? That was part of his deal with The Empty!

Did he regret it? Did he change his mind? Maybe Cas really didn’t want to have Dean. Not for real. Maybe that was why Cas never told him how he felt before. He had to have known Dean loved him long before his deal with The Empty came along. Maybe there was a reason Cas hadn’t said anything about it before.

Maybe Cas knew that Dean would screw things up if they got together. Maybe he was trying to pull away from Dean, make it easier to break things off when it all came crashing down.

Dean stewed in his thoughts, his expression dark as he watched the waves. He lost track of time until a pair of children came racing past him, screaming in delight and startling him out of his thoughts. He pulled at his phone to glance at the time. Cas had been gone over half an hour. Way too long. Dean looked down the beach, almost expecting to see Cas trudging back up the beach back to him, but he didn’t see any sign of him. But Cas couldn’t have left left. Dean had the car keys! Quietly cursing, Dean pulled out his phone and dialed Cas’ number.

...And heard a familiar ringtone coming out of their bag.

“Dammit, Cas!” Dean growled as he hung up. He stood up, but he still couldn’t see Cas. Had something happened? What if he’d gone in the water? What if he’d gotten pulled out to sea by a riptide? Despite knowing Cas didn’t even know how to swim, worry dripped ice cold down Dean’s spine, and before he knew it he was walking down the beach along the path Cas had taken.

“Cas!” he called out, but he didn’t see him. Dean started walking faster. He scanned the beach for a familiar dark head of hair and the bright orange swim trunks Dean had picked out for him. “CAS!” He was beginning to fear the worst.

“You lookin’ for someone?” a concerned voice called out. Dean whipped his head around to a small family sitting underneath an umbrella.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, my buddy Cas.” Dean jogged over to them. “You see him walk by? Kinda beefy, kinda dorky. Dark hair, orange trunks, about yea high.” He held his palm flat about eye level.

The woman who spoke nodded. “Yeah, I think so. I saw him walking back toward town, though.” She pointed over her shoulder.

Dean furrowed his brow. Did Cas walk back on his own? Irritation flared in his chest as he forced a cordial smile and thanked the woman before jogging back the way he came. He didn’t see any sign of Cas back at their blanket either.

Dean scowled. Maybe he had walked back. Running off without a word was infuriatingly in-character for him. Dean cursed under his breath as he hastily packed up their things and started stomping up the beach toward the car.

What was even such a big deal? If Cas supposedly loved him so much, was rubbing his back that bad? Dean was trying to give him space, he really was, but the way Cas was acting, it was like he didn’t even like Dean, nevermind love him!

The thought clenched tight around Dean’s heart as he drove back to the bed and breakfast. Maybe he didn’t anymore. Maybe Cas was getting sick of him. Twelve years in each other’s lives, it was bound to happen eventually.

Maybe what angels considered love and what humans considered love was just different.

Dark thoughts still swirled in Dean’s head as he returned to the bed and breakfast and marched up the stairs.

“Dude, what the hell?!” Dean charged into their room, anger burning hot as his glare zeroed in on the angel sitting in a chair. “You can’t just go running off like that! You left your phone behind!”

Cas carefully closed the book he was reading. He was fully clothed again. “It’s not a long walk back here. I assumed you’d know where I’d gone.”

“I was worried sick about you! What if you went in the ocean and something happened?”

Cas narrowed his eyes. “I wouldn’t do that. You know I can’t swim.”

“You can’t just go stomping off whenever you get mad!”

Cas closed his eyes. “I’m not mad,” he said, though the growl in his voice suggested otherwise.

“Like hell you’re not!” Dean shot back. “So what is it? I can’t touch you now? It’s freakin’ sunscreen, Cas. Is it really that big of a deal?”

Cas’ eyes flew open. “Yes!” he said, deeply pained. “Dean, does it really matter so little to you that you’re okay with just ignoring it?”

Dean was brought up short. “Does what matter?”

“Me!” Cas plastered his hand over his chest. He almost looked like he could cry. “I told you how I felt and you insist on acting like nothing happened!”

Dean blinked. “What? That’s...that’s not true, Cas!”

“Dean! You didn’t say anything! Not once since you brought me back, have you said anything about the fact that I love you! And you may think that by ignoring it and trying to force things back the way they were before that you can lock up that Pandora’s Box again, but you can’t! I can’t. I can’t…”

Dean took a step forward, his expression darkening with confusion. “Cas, what’re you talking about?” He didn’t understand. Why did Cas look so hurt? So heartbroken? Cas loved him. Dean loved Cas. So why wasn’t he happy? What had Dean done wrong? “Cas, I--”

Cold mist curled up from Dean’s mouth.

They both went tense and still as they noticed just how cold the room had gotten. The lamp on the bedside table flickered.

“Shit,” Dean muttered under his breath. His eyes darted to the open dufflebag on their bed with all of their weapons.

He made a move for it, but a figure flickered into being in front of him. She was wearing a torn, bloody sundress. Her long, straw-colored hair was plastered to the half of her gaunt face where it was smashed in, blood staining it crimson. The ghost took a step toward Dean. Thick, dark blood dripped from her head but never reached the floor.

“Marcy,” Dean breathed. Guess she didn’t need to wait for nightfall after all.

“Coward,” the ghost menaced as she took another step closer. Dean carefully backed up. “Can’t even say it. Even when you’re hurting him. Coward!”

Dean’s eyes flickered to Cas, who was edging toward their weapons bag. He tried to make the movement quick, but the ghost noticed. With a vicious growl she flung out her hand and Cas went flying into the far wall.

“Don’t worry,” the ghost said to Cas, and the venom in her voice dropped into twisted sympathy. “I’ll take your pain away soon.”

Cas struggled to his feet as the ghost rounded on Dean again. Her outstretched hand aimed directly at Dean’s head, fingers curled into a wicked claw. But before she could touch him, Cas made another attempt at the duffle. She shrieked in fury and sent it spinning through the air toward the window. A single iron poker tumbled out of the open zipper as it flipped over and smashed against the glass, shattering it. The bag tumbled to the ground below.

Cas lurched for the poker. “Dean!” he called as he tossed it through the air, directly through the ghost. She howled and dissipated into smoke while Dean barely managed to close his fingers around the weapon. Cas and Dean stood back to back as they circled the room, Dean holding the iron poker at the ready.

“Salt,” Dean barked. “We need salt!” Except all of theirs was now two stories below. Dean silently cursed. “The kitchen! Go! I’m right behind you!”

Cas nodded and made for the door. The lights were flickering again. He and Dean narrowly made it into the hallway when their bedroom door slammed shut behind them. They raced for the stairs and nearly collided with Susan.

“Cas, Dean, what’s going on?” Her eyes were panicked, taking in the cut on Cas’ temple and the iron poker in Dean’s grip. Mist followed her words out of her mouth.

“Look out!” Dean reached for Susan, but he was flung backward by an invisible force. Marcy flickered into existence over him again. “Salt, Susan! We need salt!” he cried out before the ghost clamped its cold hand around his throat. Dean scrambled from his poker, but it had fallen just out of reach. His other hand grappled with Marcy’s, trying to pull it away.

He couldn’t see with the ghost pinning him down, but he was pretty sure he heard Susan’s footsteps racing away. Good. Even if she didn’t come back, at least she was somewhere safer. Black dots started to swim in Dean’s vision.

“Hey! Marcy!” A ceramic angel went flying through the air and smashed into a framed photo on the wall next to them, shattering the glass. Marcy snarled and whipped her head around. Her grip on Dean’s neck loosened a little, and Dean sucked in as many painful gasps as he could get.

“This is what you’re about, huh?” Cas goaded. He stood next to an accent table full of figurines, another ceramic angel in his hand, fat load of good that would do against a ghost. “Exacting revenge against shitty lovers?” Dean stretched his arm until his muscles strained. He could barely feel the length of the iron rod brush against his fingertips. If Cas could keep stalling for just a little longer... “I think anger has clouded your judgement.” Cas’ lips twisted into a bitter smirk. “You have no reason to attack Dean. Can’t you tell? He doesn’t love me.”

The statement caught Dean completely off-guard. His hand stilled as he gaped at Cas. “What?” he rasped around the ghostly hand on his throat. Didn’t love him!?

The ghost growled at Cas. She raised her arm as if to psychically toss him toward the stairway, but right at that moment, Susan barreled up the stairs, a blue canister of salt in her hand.

“I have the salt!” she said, and with panic and desperation in her eyes she blindly flung the open canister at Dean and the ghost. Salt flung in a wide arc and rained down on Marcy, who screamed and disappeared instantly.

Dean rolled onto his side, coughing weakly as he grabbed onto the iron poker and clutched it against his chest. Cas ran to him, only stopping to grab the canister of salt. He hastily drew a circle around them, draining the last of the salt on their protection ring. “Susan, get in the circle!” he commanded as he knelt beside Dean.

“You don’t think I love you?” Dean choked out between gasps for air. His head was spinning. Cas’ hand on his shoulder helped a lot, but when Dean asked his question Cas quickly yanked it away. “How could you think that?” he said, genuinely confused.

“What’s going on? Why did that...that thing look like my Marcy?!” Susan nearly flung herself into the circle with them. She clutched at her chest, casting her terrified gaze around the room.

“Her ghost,” Cas said, though he didn’t take his eyes off Dean. His brow furrowed. “Dean, you haven’t--”

“Ghost?!” Susan screeched. “Then what the hell are we doing standing here?!”

“Salt repels ghosts,” Cas replied with way more patience than Dean would have had. “She can’t come into the circle.”

“What’s going on?” Susan’s eyes went huge, her face going pale. “She...She killed those people last year, didn’t she? How do we stop her?”

“Usually burn her remains, if anything is left,” Cas said, “but she was cremated, wasn’t she? So something else is tethering her here. Perhaps a locket? Something she cherishes.”

Susan frowned, panicked eyes darting around in front of her as she mulled it over. “Her painting,” she said with a gasp. “The one in your room. She finished it right before our argument! Right before she ran out into the street and was hit by the car. It was precious to her. She put her everything into it, tried to use it to confess her love for me, and I...I was too much of a coward to say it back. That’s why we fought.”

Cas and Dean’s eyes met, and they both nodded. Dean grunted as he pushed himself to his feet, poker still clutched to his chest. “Susan, stay here. Whatever happens, don’t leave the circle. Cas, I’ll keep her busy. You burn the painting.”

As one unit Cas and Dean left the salt circle.

Immediately the hallway burst into chaos. Doors slammed shut everywhere. The knick-knacks and travel guides on the accent table went flying through the air. The lights flickered until their bulbs burst, leaving only the light of the window at the far end to help them see.

They ran.

“You don’t think I love you?” Dean demanded, because a deadly ghost hunt seemed as good a time as any to have this conversation. Some things were too damn important to wait for downtime.

“Because you don’t!” Cas snapped. He threw himself at the shut door of their room, but it was supernaturally sealed. He grunted and tried again. Marcy appeared at his side, a ghostly hand reaching for his chest, a snarl on her lips.

“Cas, of course I love you, you idiot!” Dean swung at Marcy, forcing her to disappear again. Cas slammed himself against the unmoving door. “How could you think I don’t?”

“Dean, I died--” Cas slammed into the door again. His eyes glowed faintly with his weakened Grace. “Telling you how I felt. And you said--” Another crash; the door cracked ominously. “Nothing about it since I’ve been back!”

Marcy flickered into being next to them again. Dean knocked her away with the poker.

“I thought you knew! I thought you didn’t love me and that’s why you never said anything!”

“I told you!” With one final crash, Cas burst through the door and into the room, Dean hot on his heels. They ran for the dresser. “I told you the one thing I wanted, I couldn’t have! That thing was you, Dean!” Cas yanked the painting off the wall and threw it on the ground, shattering its glass and exposing the paper.

Marcy screamed in fury and appeared in front of him. She flung him at the dresser just as Dean dispersed her with a forceful swing. He flipped the poker in his hand, readying himself to strike again while Cas scrambled to his feet, lighter freed from his pocket and held at the ready.

“Because of the Empty!” Dean insisted. Marcy’s form materialized again, and Dean raised his weapon as she approached. “You couldn’t have me because of the deal with the Empty!”

Cas fumbled with the lighter. “I can’t have you because. You. Don’t. Love me!” It finally lit. Cas threw it onto the painting, sending it up in flames.

Marcy howled in agony as her body sparked and burned. She raised her head skyward as if to escape from the rising flames, but in a flash of heat and bright orange light, she was gone, and Cas and Dean were left standing alone in the room.

They stared at each other in the sudden, violent silence. Cas’ face was a mask of frustration and pain.

“Dean, I’ve been back for months. Months. And you have said nothing about how you feel. Do not lie to me now because you feel sorry for me.” With one last heartbroken glare, Cas stomped out of the room, leaving Dean behind to stamp out the flaming remains of the painting.

Once Dean didn’t need to worry about burning the house down, he went looking for Cas. He found him outside, loading up their scattered weapons into the trunk of the Impala.

He looked shattered. His face was crumpled with pain, his eyes dull, deep furrows in his brow. It brought Dean up short. Guilt welled up so intense that Dean almost couldn’t say anything at all. Except, well, that had gotten him into this situation in the first place.

“I thought you knew,” Dean called across the distance between them. Cas stopped and turned to look at him. The bitterness in his eyes made Dean’s stomach churn. “I thought you knew,” he said again. He took a step toward Cas. “For years I thought you knew. But, you know, you’re an angel. I thought you didn’t...I thought you couldn’t…” He trailed off. Cas’ forehead was furrowed in confusion, but he was at least listening, so Dean swallowed down his discomfort and barreled forward. “I thought angels couldn’t fall in love. Except...then you died telling me you did. Telling me that the reason you couldn’t even tell me how you felt was because being happy would trigger your deal and…” He shrugged.

“You thought I was deliberately keeping us apart?”

“Because if you told me you felt the same, then we’d be together and you’d be happy and you’d die.”

The bitterness had faded from Cas’ eyes, replaced with something that Dean was loath to acknowledge looked a little bit like pity mixed with profound frustration. “So when I came back, you thought there wasn’t anything left to talk about?”

Dean scratched the back of his neck and took another step forward. “Yeah well…What else was there to say? You said you, you know, loved me. And I thought you knew that I, you know…” He trailed off.

“Dean.” Dean had never heard Cas sound so pained just saying his name. “You.” Cas scrubbed at his face. His mouth twitched as he struggled to find words for all the ways Dean had screwed up. Was continuing to screw up.

“The hoops that you jump through to avoid talking about your feelings astound me,” Cas finally said. He dropped his hand with a sigh of defeat, and Dean’s heart sank. This was it. The death rattles of a relationship that hadn’t even really started. Dean never had what he truly wanted, and he never would.

Dean ducked his head, unable to look Cas in the eye. “Right. Yeah. That’s me, alright.” He swallowed around the hard lump in his throat. The long drive back to Kansas was going to be awful.

“Say it,” Cas said softly. His words were a command, but when Dean looked up in surprise, his eyes were pleading. “Please,” he breathed, almost like he didn’t deserve to even ask, and something inside Dean cracked.

“I love you, Cas.” One step, two steps, he crossed the distance between them and threw his arms around Cas’ shoulders, clinging to him the way he wished he could have before the Empty took Cas away. “It’s you, Cas. It can only be you. It’s only been you for years. I promise.”

Cas’ next breath stuttered in his lungs. His arms wound tightly around Dean, desperate. “Dean,” he sighed, this time like a prayer.

“I’m right here, buddy.” Dean held him tightly, the way he should have when he first got Cas back from the Empty. The way Dean wanted to all these months when he thought...Well, when he was an idiot. “You can have me, you know. You already have me.”

Cas pulled back enough to look Dean in the eye. His eyes were glassy. Dean’s didn’t exactly feel dry either. ‘I wonder if I can kiss him,’ Dean thought, milliseconds before Cas did just that.

Cas’ lips were warm against his own, and Dean gasped softly as his hand wound through Cas’ thick hair to cradle the back of his head. His kiss was eager, if not clumsy, and Dean smiled a little as he let Cas take the lead anyway. When they finally pulled apart, Cas’ normally pale lips were flushed pink, and Dean’s soft smile morphed into a huge, affectionate grin.

“Hey,” Dean said, his voice surprisingly husky after a largely innocent kiss.

Cas smiled back. “Hello, Dean,” he said, and Dean couldn’t help it. He laughed. God, how he loved this angel.

“So whadya say, Cas?” Dean said when his laughter quieted. “Ready to get the hell outta Dodge?”

Cas’ hands slid down Dean’s back until they were resting on his hips. “Actually…” His gaze turned wistfully in the direction of the distant beach. “I had a different idea.”

---

“You sure this is okay, Cas?”

“Dean…”

“Cuz I mean, I want to respect your boundaries.”

“Dean!”

“And I totally understand if I’m crossing a line here.”

Cas twisted around and gave Dean and his closed bottle of sunscreen a baleful look. Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “If I get sunburned, you can get your own room tonight.”

“You’re probably not even going to sleep anyway,” Dean shot back.

“I’ll sleep just to spite you.” Cas scowled, but Dean could see the corners of his lips twitching playfully. With a rush of affection, Dean shifted so that Cas’ bare back was pressed against his chest and Dean could rest his chin on Cas’ shoulder. Cas went stiff against his body, but it only lasted a second before he practically melted into Dean’s hold. Dean wrapped his arms around him as he watched the waves.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Dean said with a sigh.

“Yes,” Cas breathed, but he wasn’t looking at the sea.

Heat rushed to Dean’s cheeks. He cleared his throat and kept his gaze solidly on the ocean. “You’re such a sap,” he grumbled weakly.

“You’ll get used to it.” Dean could see Cas’ smirk in the corner of his eye. Dean tightened his embrace.

“I dunno if I ever will,” he said quietly, a soft smile on his lips as he finally got to hold his angel.

[themadlostgirl]

Keeping Warm (2)

*Did I make a second part to this because one person asked for it? Yes I did. Come to me my Felix simps! Enjoy your fluff!*

~~~

That had to be the best sleep I’ve had in a while! This cloak was a lot better than my old one. I wonder how long I could get away with keeping it before the boys stole it back. I folded it up neatly and hid it under my cot so it wasn’t out in the open for them to steal back.

I left my tent and noticed that the boys that had been laughing and teasing me yesterday were keeping a wide berth from me today. I had no problem with that. The farther away they stayed the better.

Since I was truly well rested for the first time in a long time I decided to take advantage of my energy and practice my archery. Before Neverland I never had a need to learn how to wield a weapon but archery was fun and it helped in hunting small game. I grabbed my bow and quiver of arrows before setting off into the jungle. When it came to game on the island there wasn’t a whole lot outside of fish and some birds but they didn’t make for much food.

If you wanted a good meal you had to head into the dark jungle of the island. It’s where all the big game lived since anyone ventured in there. You could sometimes find a rogue boar running around outside of the dark jungle but they mainly stayed within the perimeter. Other than boars there was also a type of goat that lived there. The boys had tried keeping some of the goats for milk a while back but after the “incident” all the goats were shoved into the dark jungle and water became the only acceptable source of drink. Probably for the best.

I was out tracking for a while when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I tried to make it out through the foliage and saw the head of a goat pop up. Gotcha. I notched an arrow and took aim. I let the arrow fly and cheered when it went right through the goat’s eyes.

“What the hell?” Another head popped up, this time it wasn’t a goat though. Felix turned to look at me. “What was that?”

“Sorry!” I rushed over, “I was hunting and saw the goat head. I didn’t mean to shoot at you. What are you doing out here?”

“Same as you it seems. I had been tracking this fat bastard for over an hour.” He kicked the dead goat at our feet. “Almost had it too before you got it first. Nice shot by the way.”

“Thanks! I was really lucky this time around. I usually don’t get a clear shot like that.” I tore the arrow out of the goat’s head. “Since you’re here do you mind helping me lug this beast back to camp?”

“Sure,” Felix heaved the goat up and threw it onto his shoulders. “Let’s get moving.”

“This will surely make for a good dinner tonight.”

“You really wanna let those jerks tear into your catch?” Felix asked.

“I mean not really but this is way more food than you and I can eat so we kinda have to split it up.” I shrugged, “Why do you care anyway? I thought you liked the other Lost Boys.”

“They’re my brothers but brothers can get damn annoying.” He muttered, “Taking shit that doesn’t belong to them and whatnot.”

“Ugh, I know what you mean.” I sighed, “They stole my cloak out of my tent last night so I stole one of theirs as payback.”

“Did you now?” Felix trudged further ahead, “Did you give it back yet?”

“No and I don’t plan to. Mine was so thin it didn’t help at all but this one is really warm so unless they come and pry it away from me I’m not giving it up. It also helps that is smells good so I cuddle up in it even tighter.” My face started heating up after I realized what I just admitted. “Sorry, that was a lot of unnecessary information.”

“It’s fine,” Felix muttered.

I jogged to fall into step next to him. I grabbed an apple out of my bag and started cutting off slices with my knife. I wordlessly offered one to Felix. This time when I popped it into his mouth for him though I didn’t roll my eyes since his hands were full carrying the goat. We trekked back to camp in companionable silence. Felix set the goat down for the others to skin and cook while we rested.

We sat down on a log together while I picked bits of goat fur off his shoulders.

“Felix,” One of the boys approached us, “Pan was looking for you earlier but you were away from camp so he wanted me to pass on a message.”

“And?” Felix asked.

“He’s gone off the island on a mission of sorts. Says he may not be back till morning at the latest so you’re in charge till then.”

“Got it.” Felix nodded and the boy ran off again.

“Man in charge tonight,” I poked his shoulder, “Don’t crack under the pressure, captain.”

“Har har,” He rolled his shoulder ushering me off, “Being in charge for a night doesn’t entail much. I just have to make sure these idiots don’t go rogue during Pan’s absence and do something stupid like burn the camp down again.”

“These boys can really be just the dumbest things on the face of the earth, can’t they?” I shook my head. Then my body shook. A cold gust of wind blew through the camp. It wasn’t like the slightly cooler breezes that Neverland usually had. This was cold. Really cold.

The other boys felt it as well. All of them rushing to their tents and reappearing with cloaks and others running for firewood. “What’s going on?” I asked Felix as I rubbed feebly at my arms.

Felix sighed. “I almost forgot that this happens when Pan leaves. He so rarely does anymore it didn’t even cross my mind.”

“What?”

“When Pan leaves then time stands still. I don’t mean that in the way that tie naturally stands still here. I mean the island basically goes into hibernation without him around. Depending on how long he’s been gone we should start to see the beginnings of…” Felix looked up. The once clear sunny sky had been replaced with dark dreary clouds.

“Oh don’t tell me it’s gonna rain!” I pouted.

“Worse than that.”

We sat there for a minute as delicate white flakes started falling from the sky. “Snow?!” I gaped at the offending weather. “How is there snow? This is a tropical island!”

“It is a magic island too though.” Felix said. “You may want to grab something to put on, viper. It’s only gonna get colder.”

“Right, I’ll be right back.” I ran back to my tent and pulled the cloak out from under my cot. I put it on but while it was thick enough to keep out the chill of the night it was just another feeble layer against the bitter cold that we had been subjected to now.

I went back to the log where Felix and I had been seated but he wasn’t there anymore. I made my way towards the bonfire the boys had started and huddled as close as I could get to the flames. I really hope the boy I stole the cloak from won’t try to take it back now. I fear I’ll freeze to death without it.

The sky grew even darker and the island got even colder. We were quickly burning through our supply of firewood and I knew that it would run out soon. When that happened it was every man for themselves. I figured I’d hunker down in my tent and try to keep warm by myself until Pan returned and the cold went away.

I stayed by the fire as it dwindled down to faintly glowing coals. The snow had really piled up and my toes were numb in my boots. Oh no! I didn’t even take into account the snow! I ran as fast as I could to my tent but it was of no use. The snow had weighed it down and it crumpled. My cot was soaked and the beams I had used to pitch it had snapped. This was just great.

It looked as if the other boys had gotten the memo to keep the snow from piling up on their tents since they rest were still standing. Would have been nice if they mentioned something to me. I shivered violently against another harsh gale of wind and trudged away from my ruined tent. Maybe I could find Felix and he’d take pity on me and let me stay in his tent for the night.

I scoured the wintry white camp but saw no Felix. He was probably already hunkered down. If only I knew which tent was his.

~~~

Damn this cold. Why did the island have to go into hibernation just cause Pan wasn’t around? It really wasn’t fair. Felix hated it all the more since he didn’t have anything to keep him warm now that he had let you have his cloak.

Upon realizing just how bad it was going to camp Felix remembered something that could help him keep warm. He jumped up and ran into the jungle until he found the old, gnarled dead tree that years and years ago had been the first home of the Lost Boys. He knocked against the trunk until he found the hatch that opened up. It would be a tight fit but if he kept his arms close to his chest then...Felix slipped down the hollow trunk of the tree and was deposited into an underground cavern.

He lit a torch along the wall and breathed in the dusty but altogether warmer air. This place looked as if it hadn’t been touched in decades. It probably hadn’t. Felix only ever remembered this place when Pan left and turned the rest of the island into a wintry hellscape. He never told any of the other Lost Boys about this warm oasis since he didn’t want them crowding in around him.

Felix was down there clearing cobwebs and shaking out the dusty furs and blankets when he was hit with a sharp realization. He left you back at camp. He left the one person who cannot handle any amount of cold in any way back in a blizzard!

“Shit!” Felix hissed and climbed back out of the cavern. He raced back to camp and spotted you easily enough since you were the only one still outside. Why were you outside? Why weren’t you in your tent at least?

“Hey,” He shouted, pulling you away from where the bonfire had been, “What are you doing out here?”

“Tent collapsed under the snow.” Your whole body was shaking so bad that it even bled into your voice. “Was looking for you…”

“Come on,” He grabbed your hand and tugged you along, “I know someplace we can go to wait this out.”

Felix knew it was a bad time but he couldn’t get over the sight of you in his cloak. It was just like last night when he got that strange fluttering in his chest. He gripped your hand tighter and tried pulling you faster but you ended up losing your balance and tripping. Felix caught you before you landed in the snow but he could tell you were having trouble keeping up.

“We’re almost there, just a little further,”

“I can’t feel my toes,” You whimpered.

“Damn it,” Felix ran a hand through his hair. “Well we can’t stay out here. Hold onto me.” With that Felix gathered you in his arms and pulled you off the ground. He hiked his way back to the dead tree with you held in his arms. This was the first time he had really been this close to you. Your head nestled on his shoulder as your body trembled. He set you down long enough to open the hatch on the dead tree again and set you inside. You went sliding down and Felix shortly followed.

“Where are we?” You gazed around the cavern you both were in. “It’s warm in here.”

“My own little get away when the island goes into stasis.” Felix explained. He helped you up and ushered you towards the bed at the back of the cavern covered in blankets and furs. “You’ll keep warm down here.”

“Blankets!” He burrowed underneath the blankets with a content sigh. “I am never leaving this pile.”

“Thought you’d enjoy that.” Felix smiled. “Are your toes still numb?”

“A little.”

“Let me see, I want to make sure you don’t have frostbite.” He instructed.

You untied your boots and Felix grimaced when he saw that your socks had been soaked through. You peeled those off too. There was no way to make this awkward so Felix grabbed your feet and inspected them, pushing on your toes to make sure they hadn’t incurred any damage.

“Good news, you get to keep your toes.” Felix pushed your feet off his lap and pulled the blanket you were wrapped in back over them.

“That is a relief.” You smiled brightly. “Thanks for sharing this space with me.”

“Well I wasn’t just gonna let you suffer out there in the cold. The others deserve it but not you.” Felix said. The fluttering was back and he could feel it’s way creeping up his neck into his face. The air in the room suddenly felt too hot. He shuffled back to the foot of the bed further away from you.

There was a beat of silence.

“Hey Felix?” You crawled over to sit next to him.

“Yeah?” Felix tried not to look at you lest the pink in his cheeks be noticed.

“Where is your cloak? Don’t tell me you were out running around in this weather without grabbing it.” You said. Felix resisted a bark of laughter. Said cloak was still around your shoulders and you clutched it tightly in your hands as you looked at him.

“I didn’t have much of a choice.” He pulled the hood up over your head and down in front of your eyes. “You kinda stole it, viper.”

“Huh?” Your eyes peeped out from under the hood. He watched with amusement as the realization hit you and you pulled the hood back down to hide. “I’m sorry! I had no idea it was yours! I thought it belonged to one of the jerks that stole mine!”

“It’s alright, you needed it a lot more than I did anyway.” He chuckled softly. “Glad to know you think I smell good though.”

“AGH!” You dove under the blankets to hide further. Your embarrassed voice still rung clear from underneath the furs. “I cannot believe I told you that!”

“Come now, it’s not that bad.” Felix couldn’t help the spark of joy he felt when he teased you. “Come out. I wanna talk to you.”

“Nope! I am never leaving again for the sake of my dignity.”

“Fine.” Felix took a deep breath and pulled the covers up over himself. Your face was inches away from his under the blankets. “I’ll just come to you.”

“Felix…” You muttered, you were still keeping your eyes down so you weren’t looking at him.

“I wanna know something.”

“What?”

“If you get so cold at night why didn’t you ask me for help? I could have brought you as many blankets as you wanted from down here.”

“I didn’t ask because I had already tried asking the other boys for help and all they did was make fun of me. I didn’t want you to tease me too.”

“Teasing you is fun but I’d rather you not freeze to death.” He said, “I also told the boys that if they steal anything from you again then they’ll answer to me.”

“Why would you do that?” You asked, “I get that we’re friends but you don’t have to fight my battles.”

“It’s because you are my friend that I want to help you, idiot.” He poked your forehead, “Which means threatening Lost Boys and letting you steal my cloak. It kinda feels like it’s my mission to keep you warm.”

“A noble cause indeed.” You laughed and Felix decided then that he had never heard a more pleasing sound.

Your smile softened and Felix got lost in your eyes for a moment. The fluttering was getting worse but he found he didn’t mind it. “Here,” You closed the distance between the two of you and left a quick kiss on his cheek, “A little token of thanks.”

Okay. Now he minded. It felt like a billion butterflies had gotten trapped in his ribcage. It was just a moment. A mere second of contact but it lit his body from the toes up as if he had stepped into a fire.

“You okay? Did I cross a line? Sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was just thankful for what you did and you’ve always been nice to me so--”

“Give…” Felix mumbled under his breath but it was enough to stop your mess of ramblings.

“You say something?” You asked.

“Give you…” Felix took a deep breath but it did little to calm his nerves. “Want to give you one.”

“Give me one what?” You asked.

“A...um…” he tapped his cheek. This was stupid! Why was he trying to initiate this right now? It was only meant to be a thank you kiss between friends and he was making it weird!

“Oh!” Your face got even hotter than it had a moment before. “I mean if you really want to then go ahead. Can I ask why first?”

“A thanks for never dropping a hermit crab in my mouth whenever you offer me food?” he joked. You laughed again, the tension between you breaking.

“I do deserve thanks for that.” You nodded and presented your cheek, “Go ahead.”

Okay Felix. Do not screw this up. There is not conceivable way to mess this up. He inched closer and left a darting kiss to your warm cheek.

“I bring you a lot of snacks,” Your voice was a whisper, “I think maybe that’s worthy of two kisses.”

“I was thinking the same thing.” Felix turned your face so he could kiss your other cheek. “While we’re at it I think I’m owed more thanks for lugging that big goat of yours back to camp. It wasn’t light at all.”

“I suppose you do.” You grinned wider. This time when you kissed him you pressed it to the tip of his nose. “You also carried me here so if we think about it logically then I should--”

“Just kiss me already.” Felix pulled you closer.

“Yes sir,” You held his face in your small warm hands and kissed him on the mouth. Your lips were so soft and you tasted sweet like berries. “Felix,” You murmured against his lips.

“Hm?”

“If this is another way of keeping warm, it’s working.”

“Then we probably shouldn’t stop.” His lips met yours again. He couldn’t have you getting cold again after all.

---

(Part 1)

[spodimusarts]

Final design! I chose the name Himari suggested to me by @madame-helen . I’ll try not to spoil to much in Himaris back story since I’m gonna do lore with her.

Himari was born in the hollow earth. She was alone for most of her life until our Godzilla had begun to explore the hollow earth. Not long after they met some few million years ago. Godzilla had become Himaris mate. They were inseparable until the war with the Kongs began.

About the time Kong’s parents surfaced onto Skull Island, Godzilla had entered a battle with one of Kongs last ancestors. Fighting near one of the entrances our Godzilla had been knocked into the pit falling for miles all the way to the surface. After many blows to the head he became unconscious and Himari had become a forgotten memory. Godzilla had awoken and traveled to the Marina Trench to heal until Godzilla2014 when the first Nuclear bomb went off in Japan.

When Godzilla had fallen and never returned Himari was left heartbroken and assumed he was dead. However he did not leave her alone. Himari had become pregnant and due to the large Size of the gojiran species. She laid her egg a few decades later. She slept by it until finally the egg hatched after another few decades around the year 1960.

She named her new born son Anon and dedicated her life to keeping him safe and to helping him grow as any good mother would. Anon grew rapidly for the first eight years starting from the size of a human and growing to the size of Titania Mosura. After he reached a size that he could survive on his own his growth slowed majorly. Himari had found a place to settle and they both entered a long hibernation.

Himari and Anon awoke again to the sound of two different Alpha calls during the KOTM events. Roaming the hollow earth again they continued life just as they had left it before hibernation. Anon knew little about his father and Himari never talked about him much.

Himari was not completely forgotten by Godzilla. Godzilla had begun to experience dreams of a female Gojira and her cub. At first he ignored them as figments of his imagination. However after GvsK the dreams baca me longer and more real. He began to sense the presence of others like him that resided in the hollow earth.

Thats all I’m going to reveal. I want to save most of the current lore for my comics. Feel free to ask questions and I will try to answer them.

Credit of artwork:me @spodimus-prime

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

A Place Like This 2

Warnings: this short series will include dark elements including noncon, possible violence, mentions of mental illness, and other explicit content. I’m not your mother, curate your own consumption.

This is dark!Lumberjack!Andy Barber and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You start asking questions but you might not like the answers.

Note: I’m a filthy liar and this is gonna be obv more than two parts and I dunno what I’m doing.

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Your office was the room across the hall from Andy’s, just beside the bathroom and furthest from your mother’s.

You had a routine; it helped you keep on track. You woke up, had a coffee and a small breakfast, and climbed back upstairs to begin your work. At noon, you took a break, you went for a walk or just sat on the porch with your mother if she wasn’t in her room. You returned to work and later in the afternoon you came down to remind your mother about her pills. Then you started dinner as the day was in its final decline.

Andy only changed that slightly. He woke earlier than you did and was on his way out as you got up. He came home around dinner time and you left a plate for him in the oven if he was late. He was quiet, he ate, and went upstairs. The first week went by as such. You almost pitied him for living in what seemed a crowded isolation.

Then the weekend came. Like the other lumber workers, he had those two days to himself. It would be the first real test of your arrangement.

You woke at your usual time and went down to make your coffee. You only wrote for a couple hours on weekends. Breaks were good. You measured the grounds into the percolator and filled it with water. You turned on the decades old stove and turned as you heard the old stairs groan.

Andy appeared in the door. He wore jeans and a thick knitted sweater. His hair, overgrown and shaggy, was pushed away from his face, his beard a shade darker and starting to puff out from its length. You suspected that as a lawyer, he never looked so unkempt and yet even now, he still managed to look refined.

“Hate to be selfish but you think there’s enough for me?” He crossed to the table and sat. 

“Should be,” You rubbed your hands together. You wore an old sweatshirt with a grizzly on the front and your old faded jeans with the bleach stain on the knee. Unfashionable but warm. ‘“Cream, milk, sugar?”

“Black’s fine,” He said as he scratched his chin. “I was thinking today I could stock us up on wood for the fireplace. Since it’s snowing now, it’s better to get it done before the winter is really here.”

You squinted at him and played with the frayed cuff of your shirt. “So, you got a lot of snow in the city?”

“Not as much as here, I’m sure.” He let out a long breath and you saw the cloud in front of him. 

You paused and listened for the rattle of the furnace. “Fuck.” You pushed yourself away from the counter. “I gotta light the furnace.”

“Where is it? I’ll do it.” He offered. “Since you made the coffee.”

“You sure?”

“Think I can handle it,” He stood. “City boy and all.”

“Basement door’s outside. It’s a pain but this place is old and not very well put together.” You said. “There’s a lighter in the drawer.” You pointed at the counter. “Thanks. Oh, and the key too. Hanging by the door with the green tag.”

“Alright,” He crossed to the door. “Think I’ll figure it out.”

He disappeared down the hall and returned with his big boots. He put them on before the back door and unlocked it. He tramped down the steps as the door clattered behind him and you listened to his crisp footsteps. 

You wrung your hands as you thought. Nice enough, you surmised, but evasive. Maybe he wasn’t running from some heinous offense but he was trying to get away from something. You could tell by the way he always seemed to direct the conversation, especially when it turned on him.

You heard the sudden rumble of the furnace and the vents hissing. You turned as the percolator began to shake almost in tandem and the small glass knob bubbled with brown coffee. You took it off the burner as the basement door squeaked and the jingle of the key accompanied the snowy steps across the yard.

Andy kicked off his boots and slipped through the back door. He hung the key and he shook the snow from his hair and smoothed it back. He left his boots on the mat as you poured two mugs. He approached and you slid one to him. He took it with a soft thank you.

You added milk to yours and sat at the table as he did the same. You regretted it almost immediately. You should've taken it up with you and hid in your office. 

"Any plans today?" He asked. You blinked and he rested his palm against the hot mug. "Sorry, it's none of my business."

"Nah, nothing planned," You replied. "So you just plan on chopping wood on your day off?"

"Not much else to do up here. It's nice. Mindless." He shrugged.

"You have a lot you don't want to think about?" You wondered.

His jaw ticked as he eyed you and his lips curled slightly.

"Don't we all?"

"You'd have to to come all the way up here from wherever you're from." You commented. 

"Hmm," He chuckled under his breath. "You'd make a good prosecutor. You don't miss a lot."

"I'm a writer. I write about people, so I gotta study them closely."

"I thought you wrote about animals."

"That's what I'm paid to write about but… I have my own projects." You lifted your mug and tasted the rich brew.

He sucked his bottom lip in as his thoughts wrinkled on his forehead. "Uh huh," He uttered carefully. "Guess that's true then."

"So… is it too much to ask why you ditched being a lawyer?" You asked.

"You do anything long enough and you get bored."

"And you never did anything else? Never got married?" You prodded.

"Well, what about you?" He challenged as he hooked two finger through the handle of his mug. "Not many fish in this pond, huh."

"Touche," Your lips slanted, "You definitely are the lawyer type."

🍂

Later that day, after you gave your mother her second round of pills, you ventured out into the forest that skirt around the old property. The snow was only just past your ankles, the powder fell in spurts but didn’t seem to get much deeper. When you were met with a block or an impasse in your writing, you always came out to the trees to clear your mind. You were done for the day but you had a long week ahead of you.

You kicked the snow of a fallen tree by the river and listened to those critters not yet in hibernation in the blanket branches above. You thought about the man staying in the room next to yours and the answers he would give you; the questions you were too afraid to ask him. 

He wasn’t telling you everything, perhaps he didn’t owe you everything, but the lines in his forehead, the crinkles beside his eyes, the depth of his irises as they watched you. There were things you needed to know about a person and you feared you didn’t know enough about this stranger you’d invited in. You had been too intent on the money, on your own keeping.

Or maybe you were paranoid. You were starting to sound like your mother when she claimed the birds were listening to her and taking the messages back to the monsters of the forest. When she had barricaded herself in her room and refused to come out for fear you were one of them in disguise. The day it had all fallen apart.

Your nose was numb and tingling. You pulled your scarf up over your face and turned back. The snow was crisper now. The temperatures fell with the sun and that happened quickly in the winter. The sky was a dark grey as you came back to the house, the chimney billowed up toward the quarter moon and a soft amber light shone between the curtains of the front room.

You dusted your boots off before you stepped inside. The voice didn’t stop as you took off your coat, scarf, hat, and gloves. You slid your boots off and listened. The scene was unexpected as you peeked into the front room.

Your mother sat with her favourite blanket over her legs before the fire. A fresh stack of wood sat beside it, the basket full of split logs as well. Andy bent to poke at the embers and send up sparks as he got the fire going higher.

“So, this book you’re reading,” He said as he set the poker aside. “Did she get away yet?”

“I don’t think she’s gonna,” Your mother replied as Andy stood and brushed off his jeans. “I don’t think that’s what the story’s about.”

“That’s too bad.” He looked up and his eyes met yours. You moved so that you stood in the doorway. “But I guess that’s truer to life. Not everyone gets their happy ending.”

“Well, I’ve been taking my time because it doesn’t have an ending. Yet.” She explained. “I’m waiting for her to finish.”

Your blood went cold. You crossed your arms and cleared your throat.

“What book is this, ma?” You asked.

She looked around the chair at you and blanched. Andy sat on the sofa and you pushed yourself away from the door frame. Your mother shook her head. 

“I told you not to read my stuff.” You grimaced as you came closer. “It’s a first draft. Unfinished, unedited. It’s… personal.”

“From what she says, it’s pretty good regardless,” Andy offered. “Can’t blame her for her curiosity.”

You looked at him sharply and sighed as you dropped your arms.

“Whatever. Just don’t look at it again til I’m done.” You reprimanded. “Please. I’ll give you a look when I’m ready.”

“Dunno why it’s such a big deal. You write for the magazine all the time.” She grumbled.

“Because this isn’t an article on leaf fauna, ma,” You rubbed your cheek. “You already eat?”

“Just about to. Andy put a casserole in the oven.” She smiled. “Never knew a man who cooked. Your father, he couldn’t even salt his own eggs.”

“Mmm,” You sniffed as the smell of the burning wood melded with another more savoury scent. “Well, thank you, Andy. That was considerate. I’m sorry I waited so late, I was a bit distracted.”

“No problem,” He shrugged. “Really, the least I can do.”

You glanced between him and your mom. She hadn’t been this awake in ages. Her meds usually had her napping until dinnertime and asleep just as quickly after. She was vibrant and more friendly to this man than people she’d known for decades. You felt as if you’d walked in on something. 

“Well, let me know. I’ll be upstairs.” You backed up. “There’s some strudel left from yesterday we can have for dessert.”

You left them and stopped at the bottom of the stairs as you looked back into the front room. Andy’s voice droned as he spoke to your mom and as she chuckled his eyes found yours. They narrowed for just a moment before he turned back and smiled at the older woman. 

Nice enough, you presumed, but why didn’t you believe it?

🍂

The next day, you watched Andy through the window. The snow was thicker, a harbinger of the storm that had been brewing for over a week. He crossed to the trees, his boots barely higher than the blanket below. He sank down with each step. Only a fool would venture out as the windows billowed and flung the snow errantly.

You tore yourself away and pulled the curtain shut. You crept out into the hall and listened. Your mother slept late that day and when you gave her her pills, she’d just rolled over and fallen back to sleep. 

You neared the door of Andy’s room and your hand hesitated on the knob. You took a breath and twisted it. You entered and were struck by the man’s smell; of his sweat and the deodorant that always lingered around him. The bed was made and the room barely looked lived in. 

You walked slowly to the closet. Flannel shirts and jackets hung within above a single suitcase.

You felt a pang of guilt. Had you not just chided your mother for her snooping? You bent and unzipped the bag. It was empty. You checked the pockets; empty too. You stood and slid the door back into place. You went to the bed, the table next to it with the drawer that didn’t quite shut all the way and you wiggled it open.

The bible your mother left in there as if it were a hotel and pack of smokes. You’d never seen Andy smoke, never even smelled it on him. You took the carton and flipped open the top. Inside, a folded picture. You tiptoed to the window and looked out. His footprints faded into the trees.

You slid the photo out and opened it with shaky hands. It was Andy, shorter hair, trimmed beard, smiling, his arm around a dark-haired woman and a young boy in front of them. You folded it quickly and pushed it back behind the sticks in the pack. You placed it as you had found it and forced the drawer shut. 

Was he running from his own family? Or maybe, what had happened to them?

You fled his room and closed the door guiltily. You were only more confused than before. You descended the stairs and hastily pulled your coat from the hook. Your hat was pulled on carelessly and you tied your boots without thinking. You pushed your hands into your gloves and angled yourself out the door. It was fucking cold; the fleece lining of your coat made little difference.

You grunted as you forced your boots through the snow and followed Andy’s tracks as they filled with a new layer of powder. You weren’t sure what you were doing, why you were doing it. What could he be doing all the way out in the woods which would be incriminating?

You went on, even as the questions floated in your mind. You followed his large boot prints, placing your feet in them as you followed his path. You came to a stop before the river, the overturned tree showed where someone had brushed aside the snow. The tracks veered off away from the log and you looked around.

You were forced back into an upright trunk, the breath knocked out of you as Andy pinned you with his arm across your chest. His eyes seared into you as he leaned his weight into you and you gasped for air as you smacked his shoulder.

“Why are you following me?” He growled.

“What? Andy, let me--” You gasped, barely able to breathe, the snow clumping in your lashes. “And--”

“Hmm? I see you watching me. I see the way you look at me.” He hissed. “I help you, help your mother and what? What do you think I am?” He grabbed your chin, his hide glove rough against your skin. “Am I that villain you write about? Is that what you think?”

“No, I…” You smacked him again and again. “I was just---” He let off just a little as you gulped for air. “There’s a storm. You shouldn’t be out here--”

“You think I can’t handle a storm?” He snarled. “You’re not a very good liar and trust me, I’ve known a lot of liars.”

“Let go of me.” You pleaded. “Jesus Christ, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I followed you, okay? I was just… curious.”

“Uh huh,” He turned you and forced his arm around your neck as he bent you over. You kicked as he dragged you through the snow towards the river. “WHat do you think? I’m hiding some big secret like one of those books you read?”

“Let--go,” Your feet slid through the blanket below. “Stop! What are you--”

“You think I’m what? A criminal? A murderer!?” He pulled you up and spun you away from him. You stumbled backwards as you faced him. 

Your boots slid beneath you and you hearth the hard thunk of your sole against the the ice. Thick but not thick enough. You held out your hands as you looked down at the river coursing below the brittle surface. Your heart raced in your ears. You tried to take a step forward but he was at the bank, watching you.

“Ah ah,” He raised his hand. “You stay where you are.”

“What are you doing?” You pushed your feet apart. “Andy--”

“Terrible accident you falling through the ice like that. There’s just so much snow, you can’t really tell where the water begins.” He smiled and tucked his hands in his pocket as you heard the slow crack beneath you. “Your mother will be devastated.”

You swallowed as your eyes wetted and you looked between him and your feet. You lifted your boot and the snap below you had your heart in your throat. You plunged into the freezing water with a shrill shriek, your arms flying up to grab onto the ice. 

The frozen sheet broke as you tried to latch on and you kicked as the water soaked your coat and dragged you down into the depth further. You flapped helplessly and spun in circles in the waves. The water filled your lungs and you choked and you stared up through the frigid foam, the blurry shadow staring down at you.

The cold bit deep into your flesh and your limbs weakened the more you struggled. The water smothered you and your body spasmed in the thralls of finality. Your eyes rolled back and the dark water flowed around you in welcome.

[bluepluto03]

Ok so! I absolutely adore @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors sanders sides series “love and other fairytales” and bc he is a really cool person who does prompts for other ppl all the time, I decided to take a prompt from him myself !!

(Note that I asked on my main and this is my writing blog lol so that’s why the urls don’t match upppppp)

The prompt was basically just anything with Roman and Remus,,,, I went a tiny bit off of that and this is kinda a mini fic/kinda a hc post but I hope u enjoy it dispite that!!! <3

Remus doesn’t really understand like healthy forms of showing affection. And ofc Roman, who is like 40 and looking at this kid who is somehow a literal 18 y/o infant and also decades older than him is not gonna let that continue

So once Remus wakes up from his hibernation Roman makes it his mission to try and like show Remus actual Love and Affection

He orders weird sodas online for Remus. Like the weirdest flavors possible. Grass flavored soda is a real life thing. It’s Remus’s favorite and Roman buys it in bulk and just throws one at Remus basically every time he sees him

Every day that Remus has therapy Roman goes into the forest to pick him up and walk with him to it (or drive idk how far Emile’s office). He also always waits outside so he can walk Remus back after

At first Remus is mega sus bc he’s like basically assuming that Roman is trying to make sure he’s not going to hurt the humans. Which is like mayyyyybe a tiny part of it but it’s legitimately 99.9% that Roman just wants to be there for him

Roman starts a habit of ruffling Remus’s hair every time he sees him. Remus is honestly just,,,,,, baffled

Remus has literally no clue what the heck is going on, but other ppl start figuring it out and deciding “oh I’m going to do that too”

Patton starts inviting Remus to family movie nights! Ofc they have tons of soda and sweets but Patton also goes out of his way to try and make some of the more weird Fae foods that Remus enjoys

Although once Roman accidentally drank something made primarily of tree sap, bark and river water. So that was unfortunate

Movie nights are.... interesting btw. They watch a lot of Disney movies and Remus likes to make a lot of.... off color jokes.

Thankfully he keeps it.... mostly in check when Linda is around (at least when she’s still really young). Usually he waits for her to fall asleep, or he just finds Roman the next day and tells him like all 200 of the jokes within 15 minutes

Remus does actually enjoy the movie nights though

Logan asks for Remus’s opinion on their garden (even if he doesn’t really need that help) and they have really in-depth seelie discussions about ~plants~

Virgil is very awkward but he’s trying his best. He just keeps leaving Remus fancy weapons bc why tf not

Linda very quickly gets to the point where she’s comfortable enough about Remus to basically use him as a climbing post. He doesn’t mind but his bird is a little jealous

Through out all of this Remus is somewhere between appreciative and very confused like What Are They Doing

Emile is like they care about you ya silly!!

Remus is like yeah I know??? So why are they doing that??? I already know that they.... care or w/e what’s the point of doing all that

Emile: well when people care about eachother they like to do nice things and show that they care! Even if the other person already knows, part of caring about someone is making sure they feel cared for :) 

Remus is just like.... Oh.....

At the end of the session he goes out into the waiting room and Roman is there waiting for him

Remus goes up and hugs Roman

Roman just grins and hugs him back

[snezfics-n-shit]

i'm literally obsessed with these so maybe “How are you feeling?” “Let’s just put it this way: you’re gonna get tired of saying ‘bless you’ reeeeeal fast.” for phoenix and miles?

Of course! :3

“Good morning, love.” Miles wasn’t expecting much of an answer, knowing how Phoenix fared the night before, but perhaps his husband would appreciate the courtesy.

As expected, all he got from Phoenix was a light “mmn” and a sniffle. Miles sighed with a small hum and took out two tea bags from the box on the counter. For someone who hardly had any sleep last night, Phoenix certainly had the bedhead of a man who had been hibernating for the winter. Miles watched Phoenix sit down at the breakfast table and plant his cheek on the cool surface.

“T’TCHHhhh!!”

“Bless you.” Miles steeped Phoenix’s tea first. His own could wait. “You might want to sit up when you do that.” There were already some droplets on the table, shimmering in the sunlight, but the less Miles needed to clean up, the better.

“Sorry.” Phoenix smiled sheepishly. “Kinda just--TT’SSSHHhhooh!!  Aa’SHHOOUuh!”

“Bless you again.” Miles grabbed the bear shaped bottle of honey from the cabinet, displeased with the stickiness of the exterior. He was definitely not the last one who used it. “How are you feeling, by the way? Better than last night, I hope?”

“Let’s just put it this way: you’re gonna get tired of saying ‘bless you’ reeeeeal fast.” That was far from optimistic.

“You do get like that when you have a cold, so it’s nothing I’m not used to.”

Phoenix sank in the chair. “You don’t have to say it like- HT’TTCHHOOh!!”

“Bless you.” Miles didn’t look away from the mug of tea he was preparing. “We’ve been living together for almost ten years. I think I can last.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Phoenix frowned, but his expression softened as soon as Miles set the mug down in front of him.

“Are you going back to bed soon?” Despite the tissue box being but a short walk from the table to the kitchen counter, Miles saved Phoenix any future trips by placing it next to the mug. “If anyone is ‘tired,’ I’d say that title goes to you. I don’t think I’ve seen you with such dark circles under your eyes.” 

“Wow, you’re really trying to get rid of me.” Phoenix made his usual trumpet-like noise as he blew his nose, something that would have appalled Miles a decade ago. “I see how it is.” Phoenix joked. “Hh...  HT’TCHHUUUh!”

“Bless.” Miles cut the phrase in half to spice things up a little. He couldn’t get tired if he just took a creative approach. “No, I’m trying to help you get rid of your cold. There’s a difference.”

“So you can sleep?” Phoenix figured if he was keeping himself up all night, Miles couldn’t possibly had much better sleep than he did. 

“Only partly.” 

“H-hh!!”

“Bless you.” Miles caught Phoenix mid-hitch and jumped at the opportunity.

“Ack!” Darn, lost it. “I know I’m already tired of you saying that.”

[98prilla]

Seeking Oblivion

Next

Previous

AO3

...

None of them knew what to expect, when the dragon finally reached the large window that led into the tower, claws digging into the stone, tail wrapped around the tower to keep steady as he extended his wing, allowing them to disembark. Virgil practically fell off the wing into the tower, face so pale Patton was afraid he was going to pass out.

 “Are you alright, Virgil? Logan asked, kneeling on the ground beside the slightly sweating side.

 “Just… god, that’s worse than the whole rising up thing.” He moaned, taking a few deep breaths, color coming back to his face, as he accepted Logan’s hand to help pull him to his feet.

 “Thank you.” Patton said to the dragon, giving it another gentle kiss on its nose, laughing slightly as he felt the dragon gently bump his chest, telling him to go and fix this, already. Then the dragon took off, soaring back into the sky.

 “oh, Roman.” Janus whispered, eyes wide as he looked down at the deathly still side. His chest rose and fell in deep, too slow breaths, too much time between each one, like something in hibernation. One arm was across his chest, the other limp across the bed, just barely hanging off the edge. All the color was gone from him, his entire outfit that same, drab, empty, misty gray, even his skin seemed paler. He reached out, smoothing back Roman’s hair, breath catching at how cold he felt, if it weren’t for the slow, steady breaths rising and falling he would think Roman was well and truly dead.

 “Fuck. Fuck, fuck FUCK!” Remus screamed, making everyone jump, all eyes turning to him as he stared, breathing heavily, at the spinning wheel in the center of the room. With a wordless, furious screech, he drew his morning star, and started pounding, swinging, beating the wood until it was nothing but splinters, until his arms were shaking and the weapon fell from his hands as he sunk to the floor, clutching and ripping at his hair. “Of course he would, of course that melodramatic, Disney fanatic, idiotic BITCH WOULD!”

 “Remus, you need to breathe.” He was hyperventilating, but he didn’t care, he didn’t care, he’d seen Roman, he’d seen the spindle, he’d beat it to hell, and he’d beat Roman to hell if they ever managed to wake him up, for doing this to him.

 “Sleeping curse, it’s a sleeping curse, he did a sleeping curse ON HIMSELF!” He rants, shoving away from Logan, attempting to calm him, frantically pacing, a choked sob escaping him every time his eyes flicked to Roman.

 “So how do we break it?” Patton asked, and he shook his head, still pulling at his hair.

“I believe in most films it is true love’s kiss, is it not? However, Roman does not have a ‘true love’ per se, amongst us.” Logan answered, watching Remus with concern.

 “Point to Pointdexter! Usually, it is.”

 “But-“ Virgil prompted.

 “But I don’t know the rules of this one. He could have done anything! It could be permanent, it could be he only wakes under a certain set of circumstances, it could be we need to make a potion, it could be anything, literally anything! All I know, is the longer it takes for us to figure it out, the harder it’ll be to wake him up, even if we’re doing the correct thing.” He hissed as Patton grabbed his hands, trying to back away, but Patton’s grip was firm, and he couldn’t fight those wide, worried eyes anymore as he slumped into Patton’s embrace, letting loose the silent tears building to bursting as he buried his head against Patton’s shoulder.

 “I know, baby. I know.” Patton murmured, holding him tight and gently swaying back and forth.

 “I need him. I n-need him or I c-can’t…” Patton held him tighter, shushing him gently as he felt Remus hug him back.

 “Well, it wouldn’t be random. He wrote Janus a letter, he clearly planned this out, thought about what he was doing before acting. The phrasing of the letter shows that it is a set of circumstances that would be conceivable to achieve, some criteria that Roman currently believes he does not meet, however erroneous that belief is.” Logan stated, agitatedly running a hand through his hair, as he began to pace.

 “Ok, well, Remus already said that he thought everyone didn’t love him anymore, so could it be, I don’t know, he needs to feel loved?” Virgil asked, sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, tracking Logan’s pacing back and forth.

 “no. he’s… he’s felt unloved before, and he’s never done this.” Remus replied softly, finally pulling away from Patton, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, carefully taking Roman’s hand in his, squeezing his eyes shut against the traitorous tears still falling.

 “What if… if it isn’t love? What if it’s being… needed?” Patton asked, voice small. Janus stopped his stroking of Roman’s hair in surprise, glancing at the moral side, turning it over.

 “That… could be right. He learned yesterday that much of what he’s been doing to help Thomas had been hurting him, that his black and white thinking was critically flawed and I… I as good as called him the same as Remus. Which he translated to… replaceable.” Janus swallowed hard, looking back down at Roman’s still as stone face.

 “I pushed him too far, too. I… I didn’t realize I was doing it, but I was. I made him feel like nothing he did was ever… good enough. Pure, enough.”

 “So how do we wake him, if need is indeed the trigger?” Logan asked, looking between Patton and Janus.

 “that’s easy. We tell him how much he’s needed. We make him believe it, even if we have to pound it into him, until he wakes up so I can strangle him.” Remus answered, words belied by the tight grip he had on Roman’s hand, how his lip trembled ever so slightly, and Patton walked over, wrapping him in another hug from behind, steadying the wild side.

 “You’re right. It is easy. Because we do, we really, really do, need him so, so, so much.”

…

 “I need him. I n-need him or I c-can’t-"

 The words sparked something.

 Not awareness. Not much of anything.

 But it wasn’t nothing.

 Faintly, a tug. A tug at something that might have been a soul, a twinge of familiarity.

 “Roman, kiddo, please… please.” Choked, sad, dimly, he knew he didn’t like that voice to be sad.

 Gray. When had he gotten in this deep, graying black? His mind felt hazy, barely aware, and he felt trapped in his own body, unable to move even if he wanted to.

 He didn’t. He wanted to brush off the strange voices and sink back into the gray.

 It was nice there. Quiet, endless, empty. Nothing to be, no mask to wear, it was simpler to just sink.

 “Roman. Without you we cannot function as a group. Please… wake up.” He could feel something. Someone holding his hand, rubbing circles over his knuckles. Someone stroking his hair.

 He didn’t understand. He wasn’t supposed to be dreaming. He reached for the nothing, but it slipped out of his grasp at another voice.

 “Princey, I cannot manage this train wreck alone. I… need you.” He was so close, to placing that voice. He could feel himself hovering, on the edge of waking, on the edge of sleep, toeing between the two, unsure which way he wanted to fall.

 “roman. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, like this. I’m supposed to protect you, and I failed miserably. I let my own pride and ego and hurt get in the way. It’s time to wake up.” That voice was soft and gentle, and remorseful, and suddenly everything came flooding back, the fog retreated, burning away, leaving him to gasp as his eyes fluttered open, inhaling deeply as he tried to get his bearings.

 “Roman?” He blinked, trying to clear his vision, trying to force his throat into functioning.

 “How… how long, has it been?” He asked, voice dry and cracked, weakly trying to sit. Instantly, Patton was there, helping support him into a sitting position, an arm wrapped around his shoulders. He looked around at the group, a small frown quirking his lips. “I figured you’d all age with Thomas. A little gray hair would look good on you guys. Specially you, Specs.” Everyone was silent, looking a bit stricken, then Janus came into view, kneeling beside the bed.

 “Roman. How long do you think it's been?” He shrugged, looking away.

 “oh, I don’t know. Maybe ten, twenty, years?” That was evidently the wrong thing to say, as he suddenly had a very angry emo in his face, looming over him.

 “Virgil, stuck with the eyeshadow, huh? Thought you would’ve found a darker shade by now.”

 “Shut up, Princey. Just… just shut up. You really… how could you think…” He was surprised when Virgil fell into his lap, nearly in tears. Instantly, he hugged him gently.

 “Easy there, doom and gloom.” He murmured, looking up, Remus staring back at him, eyes wide and fists clenched, trembling. Logan looked no better, a strange, hurt expression on his face.

 “roman… it has been roughly three days.” His barely awake mind short circuited. Three days? Not… years, not decades, just… days?

 “no, no, that… that can’t be right… that doesn’t make any sense, I…”

 “Roman. Why doesn’t it make sense?” Janus asked, and he realized the scaled side was still stroking his knuckles. He sucked in a breath, and looked away.

 “I must have done the spell wrong, is all. That… that must be it.” He mumbled.

 “Why do you think that?” Janus asked again, voice gentle, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

 “because I was only to wake if I was ever truly needed. And… and I am not.” Virgil barely managed to roll out of Roman's lap as a blur of green barreled into him, Remus clinging to him tightly.

 “Shut your stupid whore mouth you asshat. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard leave that shiny mouth of yours.”

 “Remus-"

 “You were gonna leave? You were gonna leave me in charge? I’m a walking dumpster fire, and you thought I could handle running Thomas’s channel?” Remus asked incredulously.

 “I thought… that’s what you wanted.” He whispered, Remus pulling back from his tight embrace, glaring at him through glassy eyes.

 “No! I… I wanted to do it with you, moron! I wanted to fight and bicker and argue and make up and be your goddamn brother!” Remus snapped, tears slipping down his face. He didn’t say anything, simply stared, a bit dumbfounded, majorly confused.

 “why… I don’t… I don’t understand. I make a mess, of everything. I… never learn… I keep making the same mistakes… I don’t… I just keep hurting all of you. I just keep hurting Thomas."

 “Roman. We all make mistakes. We are all struggling to grow and adjust. It is ok, to be confused, to be angry, to be hurt. But you must, must remember that no matter what, we love you Roman. We will always, always, need you.” Logan, voice trembling uncharacteristically, and his breath caught, letting out a low, gasping, sob.

 “Oh honey. Oh Roman, baby, we love you, we need you, I love you.” Patton murmured, hugging him and Remus, who was still holding tight to him. In a moment, he felt Logan’s arms around him, the logical side shaking as he held him tight.

 “You… make us better, Princey. You make me better.” Virgil mumbled, an echo of his own long ago words, and he stifled another sob.

 “It’s ok, Roman. Let it out, dearie. None of us are going anywhere.” Janus, squeezing his hand gently, that tender action breaking his last reserve of fortitude as he broke down, sobbing and blubbering fat, rolling tears, burying his face into the crook of Remus's shoulder.

 He could feel the others, hugging him, rubbing his back, running circles over his knuckles, squeezing his arm, murmuring a thousand kind, reassuring words, each touch setting his skin ablaze because they were there and holding him and honestly, honestly? He hadn’t really ever expected to see them again.

 After a long, long time, his sobs died down into quiet sniffles, though he couldn’t quite bring himself to pull away from the warmth of the group hug he was now the center of, didn’t want any of them to ever let go, but he was exhausted. If he were more aware, he might almost laugh, who knew a sleeping curse would make you more tired once you woke up? But he was, he was exhausted, and felt weak and shaky, a little off kilter, not entirely awake, somehow.

 “I’m sorry. I-"

 “shh, we know, Ro. We know. You don’t need to apologize. This… this is on us. This is our fault, for making you feel… making you think…” Patton murmured against him, trailing off with his own small sob. “you wanna go home, now?” Patton asked instead, and he nodded weakly, flicking his wrist, a shimmering portal appearing in the center of the tower, reflecting the living room.

 Slowly, everyone disentangled themselves from around him, managing with minimal cursing, making him smile, just a tad, though he still felt empty and overwhelmed.

 He was surprised when a gloved hand came into view, looking up to see Janus, eyes warm and crinkled with concern, something almost hesitant in his gaze. With a huff, he accepted the outstretched hand, let Janus support him on his shaky legs, feeling like a newborn fawn trying to stand for the first time.

 “I am sorry, Roman. I was cruel, in my words.” Janus murmured in his ear, as they walked towards the portal. He looked up at the scaled side for a moment, before his eyes flicked away.

 “I started it. It’s… it’s my fault.” He mumbled, feeling Janus stop, tip his chin up so they were eye to eye once more.

 “No. It isn’t, dearie. You were hurting, so you lashed out. I took it too far. Not everything is on you, Roman.” He swallowed hard, giving a sharp, small nod. Janus could tell he didn’t really believe him, but he’d at least heard him.

 “ok.” He whispered, letting the others squeeze his shoulder, Patton holding his hand, as they passed him through the portal, him and Janus following after.

 …

 As soon as he made it into the living room, his legs buckled under him, vision swimming as exhaustion swept over him, the portal snapping shut as he lost hold of his power, drained and empty, dimly glad the others had come through first.

 “-man! Roman!” someone’s voice cut through the cotton in his ears, and he blinked hazily, trying to get colors to stop blurring, trying to get the world to stop spinning.

 “-Ill from being cut off for so long-“

 “was only a few days!”

 “-Roman.” He looked up, barely able to move even that much, limbs weighed down by gravity, a pull so strong he could barely keep his eyes open, but he recognized Logan before him.  

 “teach?” He rasped out, double vision blurring him into two hazy forms. He heard Logan let out a low breath, something close to relief flickering across his face.

 “yes. Very good. We’re going to get you settled, alright? You’ve come down with a fever, likely from your prolonged stasis exposure cutting you off from both Thomas and the imagination. We’re going to take you back to your room and-“

 “No! no, out here… please. Don’t… don’t wanna be alone.” He whispered, tears pricking his eyes, he couldn’t stand to be alone, he couldn’t stand to wake up alone, right now, because he was half terrified that if he fell asleep he’d sink back into the gray, into the nothing, and he didn’t want that anymore, he didn’t want this all to be a delusion, or a dream.

 “Hey, we’re not going anywhere, princey. God knows I’m never leaving you alone again, you clueless moron.” Virgil said, making him chuckle weakly at the lack of venom behind the insult, feeling the concern the anxious side was trying to mask.

 “L-love you, all.” He stuttered out, before darkness took him completely.

[itsclydebitches]

Title: Mightier Than the Sword (Chapter Four)

Fandom: Witcher

Summary: A month after the events of “Rare Species,” Geralt slinks his way into an inn and is faced with the question of how an emotionless man apologies. (TV!canon with some details drawn from the books and Wild Hunt.)

Pairing: Slow burn Geralt and Jaskier

Word Count (This Chapter): 2,486

Where to read it: Below or on AO3

“See?” Jaskier said. “This is why I must... revise our adventures, so to speak. No one would ever believe me if I told them the truth.”

He was gesturing to the two men kneeling in a patch of wet leaves, both heads bent to expose their necks, a common act of submission in these parts of Temeria. The elder of the two snuck out a hand to wrap around the wrist of his companion.

“Please don’t hurt us, Master Witcher,” he said, no longer boasting the confident tone of a man who thought himself king of the wood. “Me and my son were just lookin’ for some supper. That’s it. I swear it to you. We didn’t mean to interrupt you an’ your... ah...”

Jaskier leaned close, his shirt just a hair’s breadth from Geralt’s armor. “Ohhh yes, please finish that sentence. What do you think I am? I’m not his ‘friend’ as I fear we’ve already butted heads like rams over that one. Not his ‘bard’ either as I’m far more than just some tawdry performer. Your ‘companion,’ perhaps? Eh, makes me sound like some sort of escort.”

With a sigh Geralt sheathed his sword, watching the men visibly relax. Rather funny that they thought this made him less dangerous. “He’s my curse.”

“Oh! Curse? Thanks. Thanks ever so much for that. I’ll just toss ‘He’s my curse’ next to ‘Filling-less pie.’ In fact, I should start a list. The many insults of Geralt of Rivia. Provide enough of them and I might just get a song out of it. Go on then. Anything else to add? My quill awaits.”

Geralt didn’t consider himself particularly skilled at reading people. Not unless he sought the signs of murder and betrayal. Yet in that moment he would have bet Roach that Jaskier was... teasing him. Just something about the hands on his hips and the hint of a smile. He knew now that Jaskier went quiet when he was hurt, as Geralt had witnessed just moments before. This performance didn’t compare to the tiny ‘How?’ he’d spoken, head dipped down towards his knees.

So Geralt attempted... something. Another apology maybe.

“I’m done for now,” he said, trying for the tone that he sometimes heard long-suffering wives using to discuss their husbands. Some of it must have gotten through because Jaskier rolled his eyes heavenward, ‘for now’ muttered on the tip of his tongue.

Meanwhile, the man had gathered courage enough to lift his head. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You... won’t be attackin’ me an’ my boy?”

No, of course they wouldn’t. Over the remains of yesterday’s breakfast Jaskier, never one to give up an opportunity for storytelling, explained that they’d initially feared them. His dear witcher only drew his sword as a precaution, not a warning, and there had never been a reason to kneel like that, so sorry about your trousers. Funny though it was. Now then, what brings you two this far out for a bit of dinner?

“Game’s scarce nowadays,” Yoven said, tearing into the meat of a small bird. He’d likewise introduced his son, Lin, a quiet boy more interested in his boots than the conversation. He ate his own fill when it was handed to him though and kept one shoulder pressed to his father’s at all times. “Need to keep headin’ deeper. Every fortnight it seems. Don’t know what we’re gonna do when the snows hit.”

Geralt felt the same. He’d wanted something substantial for the two of them, especially with winter on the horizon, but he’d had to settle for those warblers and the occasional grub. Jaskier had expressed his displeasure—quite vocally—at Geralt eating whatever he came across in the soil, but what was taste to a witcher? It was an easy source of protein they couldn’t afford to pass up, not now that the nights were growing longer and the air crisper with each passing breath. Soon all but the monsters would be in hibernation and Geralt didn’t think Jaskier could stomach a Nekker heart if he wasn’t willing to eat a measly worm.

It was a problem he hadn’t thought about when Jaskier had first joined him, not when the weather was kind and the chance of him staying past the next town nothing but a well-hidden fantasy. Now, with Fall nearing its end and this unspoken agreement between them, questions of a practical nature had begun to surface. How would he feed them? Would Jaskier survive the cold? Geralt tried to remember everything he’d learned about human physiology and how it compared to a witcher’s. How long could Jaskier go without fresh water? Surely not the two weeks Geralt could manage. Some night when food was once again scarce and he was weary from battle, would he remember that risom berries were fatal to everyone else, or would Geralt mistakenly offer him a handful of poison? How long could a human travel before exhaustion took hold? If he were injured what salves were safe to use? Would Jaskier even tell him these things, or would he insist it was all fine up until he collapsed? It hadn’t been terribly long since that day at the swamp, but with each passing moment Geralt grew more and more consumed by the same realization: humans were not meant to walk the Path.

Yet here Jaskier sat, creating a mirror to Lin and Yoven. The only difference was the absence of touch and Geralt suddenly had the strong urge to press their shoulders together, completing the picture.

If he were humble, Geralt would lead them to the next prosperous settlement and ask Jaskier to sing. Drum up some of the coin he could clearly earn and share it with him, securing their survival.

If he was smart he’d lead them both to Kaer Morhen for the winter, where food and protection were plenty and he needn’t fear a sudden shift in their host’s hospitality. However, the thought of bringing Jaskier to a witcher’s fortress...

If he were both, Geralt would simply leave the bard behind.

All these thoughts passed through him in a moment, following the tail of Jaskier’s expression as he watched Yoven devour cold, congealing meat. A mere second to assess the situation as he would a battle. Then the conversation continued.

Yoven explained that they were from another small town just three miles from here, one of Temeria’s many. Indistinguishable unless you considered that they specialized in building and exporting wagons as opposed to fish, herbs, nets, weapons, boots--whatever else one might need to continue with a war. Or life. It amounted to much the same. Does your town have a name? Jaskier asked. Not unless you count the profanity with which most referred to it. Are you and your witcher heading somewhere in particular? Not really. Wherever we’re needed, and Jaskier ended his comment with a little laugh. As if the concept of anyone needing him was a joke in and of itself.

Geralt, meanwhile, was watching the boy.

“You’ve something to say,” he announced, startling all three. Indeed, it was an easy enough conclusion, even without Lin’s guilty look. Geralt may not have had Jaskier’s talent for small talk, but he could always tell when someone held something back. His livelihood depended on it.

“Well? You can speak freely. We don’t bite,” and Geralt bared his teeth, ignoring the glare Jaskier shot at him.

“We really don’t,” he insisted.

It was Yoven who opened his mouth though. He must have been at least fifty years old, judging by the white in his beard. A substantial age for a human and, like the confident tone they’d first heard at his approach, Yoven was clearly used to commanding respect among his peers. He was halfway through insisting that no, his boy just had that air about him, when Lin finally looked up from his boots with,

“They can help.”

Three words in a mouse’s voice, but ones Geralt knew well. He leaned forward. Help meant trouble. Trouble meant coin. And coin meant he could give Jaskier something other than the soft bones of a bird to eat.

Yoven scowled. “There’s nothin’ to help with.”

“There is! Talden said—”

“Talden? ‘Don’t know how that mug got broke’ Talden? ‘I swear them chickens just ran off’ Talden? That Talden? You’d believe your own arse grew outta your nose if Talden told you so.”

“Lovely image,” Jaskier murmured.

Hmm. Perhaps a fool’s errand then. Or a case of a child crying werewolf. It wouldn’t be the first time some mischievous youngster had been scoffed at when they reported a sighting, only for folk to find them torn to pieces the next morn’, their lying punished too harshly. Only sure way to know was to get details, so Geralt eased himself off the log and knelt before Lin. No more attempts to frighten. Rather, he pulled in his shoulders to appear smaller than he was, kept his hands where Lin could see them, and allowed white hair to partially curtain his face, hiding a bit of the sallow skin and inhuman eyes. It wasn’t much, but Geralt had learned over the decades that even the smallest bit might help. Lives had been lost and saved on far less.

It was one of the reasons why he didn’t believe in destiny. Or, if she were real, why she must also be cruel. Only someone with ice in their heart would wager so much on whether another thought him decent to look upon.

Or simply thought of him at all.

“Talden,” Geralt said, trying to smooth out the rough edge in his voice. He didn’t succeed. “This a friend of yours?”

Lin nodded.

“He saw something? Something that scared him?”

“Heard it,” Lin said, snaking out a hand to grab hold of his father’s shirt. The older man allowed it with a sigh, gesturing for him to go on. It was only then that Geralt realized the child was far younger than he’d first assumed. Almost too young to be out in these woods. Especially if something stalked them.

Lin took a swallow of the water Jaskier offered before going on. “He heard somethin', Master Witcher. Just a few nights back. See, Laren’s our neighbor. Talden’s neighbor too. We all live close, so we all heard when she came screamin’ in the morn about her sister. She was gone. Vanished during the night. Old Roger said she’d run off with a boy from the town over, but Laren says there was no boy. No runnin’ off then either. And Talden told me he heard things a few hours before dawn. Monster things,” and he went back to chugging the water, whispering that last bit.

Geralt tilted his head. “Did Talden say what kind of ‘monster things’? What sounds precisely?”

“No, Master Witcher sir. I didn’t wanna know. Plugged my ears and kicked his shin for scarin’ me.”

Jaskier snorted. "A well landed blow.”

“It’s as I said.” Yoven picked up the thread. “I didn’ want my boy botherin’ you with this because there’s no ‘this’ to be bothered with. Laren and Sage moved here not a year ago. Real secretive girls. Kept to themselves and expected the rest of us to do the same. Old Roger—one of the elders, y’see. I’m set to take his place in a few years—tried to welcome them, but found both to be a prickly pair. Always goin’ off on their own. Not sayin’ where they went or when they’d return. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sage did have a little tryst going, sneakin’ away if her sis didn’t approve. They’re both young enough for such foolishness. But then comes Talden makin’ wild claims about hearin’ monsters during the night, only after the lass was revealed to be missing, mind. He was after attention, Master Witcher. Nothin’ more.”

But Lin shook his head. “Talden wouldn’t lie.” He withered under his father’s look. “He wouldn’t lie about that. He knows how monsters scare me. I, um... apologized after. For kickin’ him.”

Geralt stood. “And Talden didn’t change his story after your apology?”

“Nuh uh.”

“Anyone look for the woman? Tracks? Speak to the folk in the town over? Surely they’d notice if one of their young men had gone missing around the same time.”

Yoven sucked the last of the marrow from his bird and shrugged. “We’re carpenters, not trackers. If we were I might have better luck findin’ meat for us both. As for the town,” Yoven stuck out a finger and proceeded to swing it in an arc. “Which one? We’ve got any number of small towns in these parts, some more earning of the name than others. But it would take days to travel and talk to ‘em all. No one does that for a woman not wantin’ to be found.”

Geralt cursed.

All of little help then. Which was he to believe, the logic of flighty women and trickster boys, or the witcher's experience that told him sometimes folk really did disappear from their beds? For any other witcher the answer was easy. One look at Yoven's clothes and Lin’s greedy bites told the story of poverty. Even if Geralt returned victorious with a beast’s head in his hands, the chances of receiving any substantial reward were slim. Perhaps enough for one meal, maybe two, but was that worth the trouble it would take to receive them?

Of course, there were benefits to being an abnormal witcher. He needn’t decide things on his own, for one.

“Well?” Geralt said. Jaskier blinked stupidly up at him.

“Huh?”

“Should we look into it?”

“...You’re asking me?”

Yes. He was. Geralt felt the burn on his hand and the bruises in his chest. Day-old words flit across his mind like birds. “I just want your opinion.”

The smile was instantaneous. Blinding too. Jaskier went so far as to slap his knee, bursting into joyous laughter when Geralt rolled his eyes. He had his fun for a moment, then grew somber. A single nod and Geralt was already moving to collect his things.

“Yes. We should at least look into it. I’d never forgive myself if we left some poor maiden in peril. Plus, think of what a story it will make! A tale of intrigue and mystery, clandestine meetings and sibling love. That’s grown quite popular, you know.”

“Then pack up your things, Bard. It will be night soon.”

“Poet, Geralt. Poet.” But Jaskier dutifully bent to collect his papers, pressing each carefully between the pages of his notebook or rolling them up with string. Geralt made sure that none had escaped his notice, then took up Roach’s reins. She stamped a few times, impatient to be off.

Yoven was staring, mouth agape so that the rot on his back teeth showed. “You’re coming?”

“We’re coming,” Geralt confirmed and started off, now three sets of footsteps following behind him.

He only listened for the one.

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [883]

“In truth, I don't even know why you two are here,” Herah says as she's straightening boxes in the hallway. “Evelyn has to be here because she’s the Inquisitor, Cullen’s here because he’s Commander, I’m here because I’m good with planning and I’m part of Leliana’s team. Even Sera I can get because she’s good at building management in regards to turning an average building into a mini-fortress. Granted it’s usually done in an urban setting against riot police but with a storm like this you figure whatever she knows can probably be applied. You two? Haven’t the slightest idea why you two are here.”

“Rude,” Ellana says. She loudly rips a piece of packing tape and slaps it onto one of the boxes Bull just brought her. She scribbles the vague descriptor of ‘documents’ onto the tape with marker and moves to the next box.

“The truth can be that way, yeah. Seriously, you weren’t in the building already which is how Sera and I got roped into it. We just happened to be around and have experience in related fields.”

“Is it so hard to believe that I’d have some knowledge on getting through shit situations?” Bull asks, holding the door open for Cullen as he comes through with another box.

Cullen sets the box down next to Ellana’s box and says, “This one’s electronics: keyboard, mouse, desktop phone and headset, phone charging station. Evelyn’s taking the modem home with her just in case.”

Ellana nods and sets to labeling it as simply ‘desk electronics’.

“We’re here because the Inquisitor asked for our input,” Bull says. “You know. Since I spent a good decade as a soldier in a hostile country fighting against guerrilla warfare and a near constant barrage of storms.”

“Tropical storms don’t generally bring hail,” Herah says.

“Prep work for a hurricane and a blizzard have a lot of shit in common when it comes to the fact that you’re facing wind, threats to your power supply and basic necessities, and you can’t go outside.”

“That explains one of you, what about you? You gonna fly us all out of here somehow? Discover a mushroom that’s gonna make it better?” Sera asks, pushing a box out of the room with her feet and carrying another box in her arms.

“Sera, just carry one at a time,” Evelyn says from behind her, carrying her own box. “One or two more ought to do it. Cullen, Bull, it’s just the conference equipment still on the table, and the binders and folders that were being stored in the cabinets. I’ll have to text Josephine that we moved the contents of this room when we’re done so she can alert the team that had been working out of here before I commandeered it as a makeshift disaster planning zone and it got…well. Breached by an abnormally large piece of hail.”

“Got it, boss,” Bull says, gesturing for Cullen to go in front of him as they go back into the conference room.

“Have we any fabric we can put over the furniture?” Cullen asks.

“Dunno, we’ll have to go look. If we can find any tools we should get the TV out of here.”

“I’ll go look,” Sera volunteers, dropping her boxes unceremoniously between Herah and Ellana before walking down the hall towards one of the storage supply rooms.

“Ellana’s here because she’s Ellana,” Evelyn says to Herah. “Look at her and Mahanon and tell me that the two of them couldn’t be thrown into the middle of the ocean with nothing but what they have on them and not only survive to tell the tale but somehow, miraculously, thrive in the situation to the point of absurdity.”

“You’re mistaking them for Hawkes.”

“No, no. The Hawkes have a tendency to draw bad luck and bumble their way into terrible situations and come out the better for it. The Lavellans get thrown into situations that sound like fiction and come out of it with explanations that make you think that they somehow bent reality to fit their whims and convenience. It’s like a series of strangely fortunate events somehow pile up to get them out of terrible situations as quickly and painlessly as possible.”

“You make no sense, Evelyn,” Ellana says cheerfully.

“Look at her. Happy as a clam in the middle of a blizzard that we’re for the most part not ready or equipped to handle,” Evelyn gestures to Ellana. “She gets thrown into an Andrastian military organization working with Tevinter expats and Qunari spies and she emerges with a new best friend and a boyfriend. Just having her in the room should give us some kind of advantage. The universe should be giving us some kind of boon any second now because she’s standing here.”

“Doesn’t seem to have helped us so far. I can’t believe you’re using the Lavellans as universal luck charms. I thought you were a person of science.”

“Science can’t explain everything, not with our current level of understanding of the world,” Evelyn replies. “If that were so there would be a way to explain the Iron Bull and Ellana kicking it off like a house on fire and somehow me being the one everyone complains about.”

“We wouldn’t complain if you and Cullen would just pick up the pace a little,” Ellana says.

“We’re not talking about me right now,” Evelyn quickly goes on before either of the two women left with her can say something. Either about herself or Cullen or, somehow worse, Ellana and the Iron Bull.

“So Bull’s here because he’s good with hurricanes and Ellana’s here because she’s good luck. Why didn’t you get Mahanon too, complete the set?”

“Because if I have the three of them in one place it works in reverse and next thing you know we’re getting an avalanche that isn’t caused by a terror organization,” Evelyn replies. “Also Mahanon went and made himself scarce.”

“Mahanon hates the cold,” Ellana says helpfully. “He’s probably found someplace warm and dark to wait in.”

“Is your brother a mole? A badger? Some kind of hibernating underground mammal?”

“Don’t be silly. If anything he’s a snake.”

[shurisneakers]

espresso [9]

Summary: In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected.

Warning: implied homophobia, mentions of cheating swearing, angst, pining (????), wii music 

A/N: hello i’m barely alive what a surprise. this is my entry for the lovely @viktordrago‘s writing challenge. thank you to my girl @samingtonwilson love u and i hope you know that espresso would be nothing without u

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous part- Part 8 || Espresso Masterlist

“Is that everything?” Bucky asked, turning halfway to face you. 

You gave him a thumbs up and he nodded, shutting the trunk of his car. “Alright, let’s get this road trip started.”

You tightened the scarf around your neck as you got into the front seat of his car. Rebecca had juvenilely shouted dibs on the back seats, saying she intended to hibernate for most of the trip.

Less than a week from Christmas, the three of you were driving back to your hometown for the holiday. New Year’s Eve, however, was to be spent in your grimy dormitories and apartments since Bucky was nervous to be even slightly unprepared for class and beyond anxious about being stuck in traffic with the rest of the returning students.

Of course, much to his dismay, it was only a half-hour before Becca began her moaning and groaning. “How long ‘til we get there?”

“I told you we should have brought the tranquillizer,” Bucky sighed to you, hissing and jolting forward when Becca flicked the back of his head.

“Couple of hours, give or take depending on traffic,” you let her know, looking at the Google maps route you had opened on Bucky’s phone.

She settled back down and chose to look at her phone instead, the device keeping her occupied for only a handful of minutes before she looked up again.

“Pass me the aux cord, I wanna play my music.”

“No.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Wii score soundtracks are not considered music.”

“Wow.” Her eyes were wide in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m related to such an uncultured swine.”

“Other songs also banned in this car are on this list I made for you,” Bucky reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a white, folded sheet of paper, handing it to her.

“What the-“ she began, quickly scanning over the list. You could hear the wrinkling of the paper as her grip tightened. “The fuck you mean All Star isn’t allowed?”

“It means I’ve heard enough of it this past year and if I have to hear it one more time I’ll personally remove my brain from my skull and run it over with this car.” 

You found the fact that he took time to create something so… petty was amusing, but apparently she didn’t think so.

“I miss my girlfriend already,” Rebecca huffed, feet on the windowsill.

Bucky, eyes on the road, replied, “Shoulda invited her to our place.”

“I wanted to, but she said she wants to see her sisters. She’s got a big family.”

“If it helps, you’ve got me,” you nearly sang, looking at her through the rearview mirror.

You received a scowl in return. “I’d rather have no one at all, thanks.”

Hearing Bucky hiss through his teeth at her comeback before fading into laughter, you rolled your eyes with a smile that matched his as you muttered “bitch” under your breath.

“Also, asking Nat to come to our place probably wouldn’t be the brightest idea,” she added, moving in her seat to lean against the car door. 

The light atmosphere dropped and you felt a palpable tension in the car in a matter of mere seconds. You spared her a glance. 

She looked unfazed but you knew otherwise. “You know, considering the circumstances.”

“Maybe he’s different now, Becks,” Bucky tried with convincing optimism.

“Right, because he’s been known to just do that.” 

The both of you fell silent, not wanting to push the conversation.

“Whatever, it’s his loss.” Becca looked back into her phone and continued aimlessly scrolling through Instagram. “What’s everyone else doing for the vacation?”

“Steve’s with Peggy. I think they’re staying at her house. Clint is with Bruce and Thor. I don’t think they’re going anywhere specifically but I heard they’re doing a bar crawl for Christmas. Sam and Sam are at Wilson’s place.”

“What about Dot?” you looked at your nails as you asked, attempting to look indifferent rather than desperate– which you most definitely were.

He hummed questioningly before peering at you. “Oh, she’s back in town too.”

“Wait– our town?” Becca straightened up, leaning forward on her hands. She stuck her head between both your seats, her interest piqued.

“Yeah, she went to Culver. On the cheerleading squad,” you muttered, “She told me she and Bucky almost dated,” you added in a less than quiet whisper with the intention of only letting her hear.

You could feel her glare burning the side of your face. You didn’t have to face her to know why she was doing it but you chose to ignore her.

“Did you know I almost joined the cheerleaders at Middletown?” Becca announced, loud enough to make your eardrums vibrate and you wince.

“You didn’t have to yell, Jesus,” Bucky muttered through his teeth, using a hand against her forehead to push her back to her seat.

“You did not almost join the cheerleaders.”

“Hell yeah I did! I got kicked out on the second day.”

“How?”

“I was told I tried to ‘make friends the wrong way,’” she said with her fingers hooked in air quotes, voice deeper for imitative purposes.

Bucky snorted. ”Knowing you, you probably offered to smoke them all out behind the bleachers with your stupid purple pipe.”

“Listen, it’s how I made friends in high school. A little indica, a little trip to Taco Bell.” She shrugged. “Thought it would work with them. Apparently fucking not.”

“Wait, how come you never offered to smoke me out?” you narrowed your eyes at her. “Did you not know how much I envied the stoners?”

“I didn’t need to waste the good stuff on you. I became friends with you because you kicked sand in my face when we were seven and thought it was the funniest thing.”

“Accidentally.”

“Your laughter said otherwise, you Jafar sounding bitch.”

“You know you’re gonna have to tone down the swearing when you get home, right?” He glanced at her expectantly as realization dawned on her.

“By how much?” 

“On a scale of one to ten, one being you on your best behavior and ten being your usual behavior, aim for negative twelve,” Bucky told her as she let out a groan again, head drooping into her hands.

“How many do you think I can get past her because she missed me?”

“Zero.”

“I can’t wait to see you struggle in front of your mom.” You grinned. “It’s my favourite part of dinner.”

She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “’Course it is.”

“God, how many Christmases have we spent together? Twelve?” Bucky asked distantly, seemingly ignoring the exchange you both shared.

“This’ll be the eleventh. I spent Christmas three years ago with, uh– with him,” you answered, surprisingly without an angry edge to your tone.

“Oh,” Becca said, quietening down.

“Yeah.” You looked out of the window, your breath fogging up the glass. “I wonder what he’s doing now.”

“Last I heard, he was sent to the nurse with a broken nose,” she mused playfully, eyebrow raising. “Coincidentally, it was the same time my brother got suspended from school for three days for a fight in the cafeteria.”

Bucky and you shared a quick glance before a small smile upturned the corner of his lips.

“He’s a bartender or waits tables or something now, I think.” You shrugged, playing with a loose thread on your sweater. “Don’t know if he’s still here or he left.”

“Have you kept in contact with him?” Bucky asked, voice strained. You knew it to be a symptom of rising annoyance, one you rarely saw from him.

“Nah. Someone mentioned it to me,” you shrugged casually.

“You sure?” Becca’s eyebrows were slightly furrowed and you almost rolled your eyes at the dramatic concern. “It’s okay to still care about-”

“I stopped caring about his life the minute I found out he was cheating on me with some girl from another school,” you said lowly, hoping to make your point. ”Let’s just drop this, yeah? I don’t plan on ever talking to him again.”

Neither of them said anything for a while until Bucky broke the silence again, “Honestly, I wouldn’t hesitate to break his nose again if he tried talking to you.”

“Oh, I know,” you replied, smiling as he did, too.

In her usual dramatic fashion, Becca sighed and slumped against the seats, forearm thrown over her eyes. “How did we all end up here?” 

“Fate. Destiny.”

“A horse,” Bucky grinned at you knowingly resulting in your laughter at his stupid reference.

“Maybe because we’re all running from something,” Becca ignored you both, staring out of the window.

“Not that deep,” Bucky said with a roll of his eyes, turning left. “Besides, I have nothing to run from.”

“Sure about that?” she raised her eyebrows at him. 

You looked at him curiously.

He shook his head wordlessly, dismissing her with a wave of his hand.

“Whatever you say, bro.” She shrugged, before an evil smile took over her face. “Hey Bucky, guess what?”

“What?”

“You missed out a song on the list. Guess what we’re listening to on repeat for an hour.”

***

By the time you reached the town, it was nearly four. The plan was to stop at his place, drop off their stuff, say hi to his parents and then leave you at your house.

The Barnes’ house was clearly the most spirited one in the neighbourhood, with decorations lining the front yard all the way up to the door. Reindeers, coloured lights, fake snowmen- everything that you could think of was there.

Bucky lugged his and his sister’s bags out of the car, and held on to the both of them while you and her trudged to the front door. Becca had barely knocked on the front door when it opened with such force that the wind alone nearly knocked you off your feet.

“You’re here!” a voice you had grown up with for over a decade exclaimed, instantly brightening up your mood.

“Hi, Mom,” Becca almost squeaked as her mother half-crushed her to death before releasing her to look her up and down.

“It’s been ages since I’ve seen you both,” she said with a grin, pulling you into a hug as well, patting your back affectionately.

“It’s great to see you again, Mrs. B.”

“You look wonderful as usual, Y/N. How’s school going?”

“I’m scraping by,” you half-joked with a shrug.

“Aren’t we all?” Bucky’s voice nearly startled you from behind you and you parted to give his mother a more clear view of him. 

He beamed at her, adjusting the bags on his shoulder. “Hey, Ma.”

“Is this a horse or my son?” Winnie laughed, pulling Bucky into a hug as soon as he came through the door. Pulling at the strands of his hair, she sighed out another laugh, “Goodness, you’ve got a mane.”

“He’s definitely got the name for it,” Becca teased, earning a glare from him. “What? Bucky sounds like a horse.”

He discreetly flipped her his middle finger, picking up their bags and walking down the hall to their rooms to put them down. You watched him as he disappeared from sight, only snapping out of it due to the weight of a hand on your shoulder.

“You’ll be over for dinner on Christmas Eve, won’t you?” Winnie asked, arm around yours and Becca’s shoulders as she led you into the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked cinnamon rolls was almost overwhelming, but a quick sense of familiarity soon took over.

“Of course she is. It’s tradition,” Becca answered for you while her mother hummed. 

Your parents weren’t big on Christmas, instead choosing to just spend it like a normal day. For as long as you remembered, Becca had always invited you to spend it with her family and you gladly accepted and soon it became something you looked forward to every year.

“It’s going to be better than last year’s,” she sounded excited as she placed a plate of cookies in front of you. “Ever since these two left, the house has been much more livable.”

It did look cleaner than the last time you were here but the worn out wallpaper, the darkened mantle over the fireplace and the dining table that still had chips in it from the times it was run into remained the same. It was the same comfortable house you’d spent a lot of your childhood in.

“I’d be offended at that if you didn’t actually call me every second day to ask about my life,” she snorted, stuffing a cookie into her mouth, making her mother laugh. “Where’s Dad?”

“He’ll be late but he’ll be here tonight,” she informed her, taking a seat at the table. 

You reached for a cookie only to have the plate pushed towards you. You cast Winnie a grateful look as she just smiled.

“Great, now I know when to avoid him,” Becca said more to herself, and you stopped chewing.

“Rebecca-“ her mom sighed, leaning forward on her elbows.

“He made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to be around me the last time I saw him, Mom.”

“Just give him a chance to adjust, please,” Winnie tried. 

You swallowed thickly, knowing where this conversation was heading.

“Did you tell him about Nat?” Becca cut in, discarding her half eaten cookie on the plate. 

There was silence. 

“Yeah, I thought so.”

“Despite what you think, he doesn’t hate you.”

“He just can’t stand to be near me,” she finished, smiling a half-smile that didn’t reach her eyes. 

You had lost your appetite completely, choosing instead to just toy with your fingers and look away from the conversation as if you weren’t there.

“Becca, did you fucking carry your entire dorm room in your backpack or what?” Bucky grumbled as he walked into the kitchen, massaging his wrist.

“No swearing, James,” his mother reminded him softly as he bent down to press a kiss against her cheek.

“Sorry mom,” he didn’t sound very apologetic. He looked at you instead, jingling his keys. “Ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go. I’ll text you Becks,” you said in a hurry. Your chair screeched as you pushed it back, standing up. “Thank you for the cookies, Mrs. B. I’ll see you soon.”

You waved at them, hearing a quick goodbye before jogging to Bucky’s side.

“I’m sorry you got stuck in the middle of that,” he whispered.

“I just don’t get it,” you sighed, ducking to sit in the front seat. “It’s been years now and he still hasn’t budged.”

“We don’t know that yet. Maybe he has,” his voice was unsure and he didn’t look at you as he pulled out of the driveway and back onto the road.

“Maybe.”

There was something playing on the radio that you weren’t paying attention to. It served as background noise as you took in your surroundings. It had been nearly a year since you’d visited home and you missed it, but sometimes it felt easier to avoid some of the things that had happened here.

“You’ll be over for dinner, right?” Bucky asked. His eyes were still trained on the road ahead.

“Yeah, ‘course.”

“Looking forward to it,” he offered you a smile, prompting you to observe him for a minute.

He had managed to pull a beanie on and looked softer than he already was constantly. His nose was bitten red from the cold, something that you found stupidly endearing even though you’d seen him like this over a hundred times.

“I’m looking forward to it, too.”

“Of course you would,” he said, a boyish grin on his face. “Why wouldn’t you want to spend more time with me?”

“Remind me who you are again?” you asked with a tilted head, leaving him laughing. “Your mom’s cooking is the only thing I care about.”

“You’re breakin’ my heart.”

“Assuming you have one, that is.”

He murmured something under his breath that you didn’t catch but you chuckled anyway. You felt lighter somehow, the slight edge you were on smoothing out slowly.

“You excited to be back home?” He turned right into a familiar cul de sac, driving at a much slower speed now.

“Meh. I’m excited to see everyone but… you know.”

“It’s tiring?”

“Incredibly.”

He didn’t have to ask– he knew which house to stop in front of. It was one of the bigger houses on the block, stretching tall over the others in comparison. It looked newly painted and there were lights strung up outside serving as bare minimum decoration.

“Well, I hope you it isn’t as shitty as you think it’s gonna be,” he mumbled, twisting in his seat to face you.

“That’s a nice way to put it.”

“You deserve good things, Mario, you really do.” There was a pink dusting spreading over his cheeks as well, the jacket he had around himself unable to prevent it. Your eyes flitted down to his lips momentarily, finding them slightly dry due to the cold weather but they looked pretty anyway. He was pretty.

“Thanks, Buck,” your voice was unusually soft. “You do, too.”

Neither of you knew what to say and you could feel yourself wanting to put yourself out of your misery by just kissing the idiot. 

But you didn’t. You let yourself take him in for a second more before clearing your throat and looking away, unbuckling your seatbelt.

“I guess it’s time I go see my-“

“Y/N, listen, if you’re free later, or if you want to, I-“ he suddenly interrupted your actions, making you stop to look at him. He paused for a second, never dropping your stare. 

Oh Jesus.

“Yeah?” Please just ask me out, for the love of God.

“I could- I could set you up on the last date?” The what now?

“What?”

“I mean, it’s nearly the end of the year. It’s been months since we started and you’ve still got one date left. I know someone here you might like, if you’re up for it.”

“Um-“ your mind screamed to say no, to just tell him you’re interested in him and move the fuck on, but apparently your body had other plans because the next thing you could remember saying was, “…Okay, alright.”

“Yes?”

“Yeah. Last date, right?”

“Yup. Fifth one’s the charm.”

“Ha, hope so,” you couldn’t stop the disappointment in your voice as you shrugged. “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” he confirmed, nodding. ”Christmas Eve-Eve.”

“Cool. Catch you then.” 

He bit his lip as you got out of the car, watching as you grabbed the backpack with your stuff and swung it over your shoulder. 

“Thanks for the ride, Bucky.”

You waved at him, he waved at you, and you rang the doorbell. The door swung open immediately and excited arms swooped you off the porch and into the house, door shutting behind you.

Bucky exhaled. He twisted the key to hear the engine sputter before starting fully, knuckles almost translucent with how hard he was gripping the wheel.

“What the fuck?” he muttered to himself. He almost banged his forehead against the window. “You absolute fucking idiot.”