#i’m living with 3 other queer people and i’m really glad for it

[foreingersgod]

I love love love your writing! I was wondering if you could write something about cc dating a pop star, very much chappel roan vibes

y’all must be reading my mind! this is perfect!

Red Wine Supernova . CC

pairing: caitlin clark x reader

synopsis: you’re an upcoming queer pop star who just happens to be dating the hottest player in the wnba (set slightly in the future just for the sake of plot!)

it was off season for caitlin and she was so relieved to have time off from practices and games for a while. she had now devoted all her attention to you, hardly leaving your side these past few weeks. you, on the other hand, were just starting your debut tour. a small one, only a handful of destinations, but incredibly important (and sold out) nonetheless.

yes, caitlin had heard you sing, several times in fact. but she’d been too busy with everything that she had yet to see you perform live, outside of your home studio when it was just the two of you. so when she told you that she wanted to tag along with you for the entirety of your tour, you were practically beaming with excitement.

you had worked really hard on this album and you were thrilled to finally be able to perform it to your growing fan base. you loved performing in the bustling bars of your hometown and the stadiums in surrounding cities, but you’ve always known you were meant for bigger and better things; you wanted to travel the nation and share your songs with so many different people. you were even more excited, though, to have caitlin see you up on stage. something more than just a karaoke stage in a dingy bar with just your guitar and the intensity of your voice. no matter where you sang, caitlin still made it her mission to tell you how amazing you were and how she couldn’t wait to see how much of an amazing star you were turning out to be.

“wow, just…wow” caitlin said, speechless, when she walked into your dressing room for your first show in Chicago.

you, with the help of your entire team and manager, had just got into costume. a purple leotard that dazzled with thousands of hand placed gems. pink fishnets, white go go boots, a matching purple cowboy hat, and a dozen other miscellaneous accessories to pull together the outfit.

you looked up, still trying to pull your leotard into a comfortable position, when you heard her walk in. “hey, i was gonna meet you outside! everything ok?”

“yea no we’re all good,” she looked up and down, lips slightly parted “i just couldn’t wait to see you”

“well i’m glad you came, like the outfit?” your assistants stepped away, sliding past caitlin at the door to give you both some privacy before the show, as you gave caitlin a full twirl of the outfit.

“i love it, you look beautiful, people won’t be able to take their eyes off of you” she said “and if we’re being honest…i can’t wait to take this off of you tonight”

you felt your face heat up underneath your show makeup. “a bit cheeky tonight, i see”

“well when you look so good all the time, how could i not be” she grinned, pulling you into her chest and hugging you deeply before stage management gave you a 3 minute warning. “you’re going to do so good, i’ll be watching!”

“i’ll find you in the crowd, don’t worry” a quick peck on the lips and you were being escorted to the wings of the stage before you knew it.

˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗

“HELLOOOOOO, CHICAGO!!” you cheered into the mic, waving to fans and hyping up the crowd “i’m so happy to perform for ya’ll tonight, this has been an absolute dream of mine”

you gave the classic introduction speech: getting the crowd warmed up, announcing the songs, teaching them the dances that went along with each song. it was cliche, for sure, but you loved it. it felt like you were meant to do this your whole life. once you got rolling, getting comfortable on the stage, the feeling only got better. this was truly a dream come true.

you performed your most popular songs, along with a few of your more lesser known ones, and had the time of your life watching all of your fans sing along to something you had written. you spotted caitlin a few times through the show, watching her sing along too and cheer your name, and it made you incredibly happy to see her support you.

“alright guys, this next one’s a song i’ve been keeping from you for quite some time” the crowd whispered to each other in anticipation “but i think tonight…y’all have earned it” cheers erupted from the audience.

“i wrote thing song a while back, when i met a certain…someone…” you grinned, purposefully avoiding eye contact with your girlfriend “and i fell head over heels for her the second i saw her…so without further ado…here’s RED WINE SUPERNOVA!”

your band started playing and the audience was already dancing and cheering. you were incredibly nervous to perform a new song, and little embarrassed knowing that caitlin was going to finally here a song you wrote about her from months and months ago. but the moment you sung into the microphone, you knew she was going to love it.

through out the song, you gave quick glances over to caitlin, trying not to be obvious while wanting to see if she was enjoying it or not. but you were struggling to find her this time with the change in set lighting.

then suddenly you found her, your eyes meeting, and you instantly noticed the goofy grin plastered on her face as she watched you sing about her. still making eye contact, you continued to sing:

Well, back at my house

I got a California king

you walked over to the end of the stage, with eyes still locked.

Okay, maybe it's a twin bed

And some roommates (don't worry we're cool)

you watched her laugh as she caught on to your inside joke.

I heard you like magic

I got a wand and a rabbit

you pointed out to her and she ran her hands over her blushing face in playful embarrassment.

So baby, let's get freaky, get kinky

Let's make this bed get squeaky!

you blew a final kiss to her, the crowd interpreting it as a cute part of your routine, but she knew you had meant it just for her.

you danced around stage for the remainder of your song, kneeling down time to time to hold your fans hand and letting them sing along with you. when your set ended, you bowed to the crowd and said your finally goodbyes and thank you’s, then quickly running off stage and into your dressing room.

after catching your breathe, you started to take off your makeup and costume, again with the help of your team. caitlin had texted you shortly after that she’d meet you outside the venue so that you could have a little time to talk with your team.

once dressed in a fresh tshirt and jeans, face washed and hair tamed, you grabbed your bags and headed out to find your girlfriend. you found her waiting right outside the venue entrance where she was leaning against a post and checking her phone. she looked up almost instantly upon hearing you call her name and hearing your footsteps against the pavement.

“hey superstar!” she ran over to you, you dropped your bags to the ground as you threw your arms around the back of her neck “you fucking killed it!”

“thanks, cait” you pulled away, smashing your lips into hers feverishly “ d’you like the new song?” you muttered against her lips.

“oh i loved it” she kissed you again “you know…suddenly i’m really into magic”

“is that so?”

“definitely, and i think i got a few tricks to show you back at the hotel, how does that sound?” she cradled your jaw, nipping at your bottom lip. you tried your hardest to suppress a moan.

“take me home, clark”

[k-pepp]

With the final season of YR coming up, I’ve been thinking about Wille’s journey again. Because he’s 16, we won’t know if he actually chooses to renounce his title or remain in his role as future king, but I have a feeling this season will give us an indication which way it will go. So, before we get any type of confirmation, I want to get my current thoughts out. I’m aware that a lot of YR Tumblr skews toward King Wilhelm so my pro-renounce post might not resonate with anyone and that’s ok. I just want to put all my thoughts together before S3 comes along with something that totally blows all my opinions and assumptions out of the water 🙂 I understand the idea of wanting Wille to be King because he could be such a great leader. He is kind and compassionate and can be good at taking charge. BUT just because a person could be good at something, doesn’t mean they should be forced to do it. My number one reason for being in favor of Renouncing his Title is the sheer fact that Wille doesn’t want to be King. He doesn’t want the title. He doesn’t want that life. Wille has been shown a multitude of times talking about how he struggles with the duties that come with being a prince. Whether it’s with Erik:

Or August:

Or Boris:

(honestly, this boy will spill his guts to anyone who is willing to even half listen to him. My god. I’m so glad they gave this poor kid a therapist) He's also talked about how he feels trapped in this position. For him, to renounce the throne would be freedom. Freedom to live a life he actually wants.

Even the mere idea of staying in his current position makes him physically ill.

Some people take the end of episode 2x06 to mean he’s moved beyond all that and accepted his role as the future king. I didn’t personally see it that way. I saw it as a combination of a few things. 1) When come face-to-face with it, he just couldn’t let August give the speech (But the fact that he was initially willing to let someone who distributed revenge porn against him become king really speaks to how much he definitely doesn’t want that position) 2) He didn’t want Simon to have to compromise his happiness and give in to a situation he didn’t actually want 3) He didn’t want to hide anymore. He wanted to be himself. Wille is a person who craves authenticity. Which brings me to a bigger point… Life as the Crown Prince / King is inherently inauthentic. One of the main pro-King arguments is that he would blaze his own trail and do things his way. But how? Being a member of the royal family is a job. The basic responsibilities of that job are to do things like diplomatic visits, hosting events, being part of photo ops, schmoozing with people… pretty much all things having to do with putting on a public persona. It’s great that he could be himself in the sense that he would be the first queer Crown Prince / King, but the baseline duties he would have to fulfill are still inherently inauthentic. And I don’t know how he would “do it his way” aside from just not doing it. He hates putting on fake smiles

the photo ops

the schmoozing with people

Erik even told Wille, the way to get through that stuff is to just pretend to be someone else.

We know he’s capable of doing it. We saw how charming he could be at Parents Day weekend. But that was because he wanted to sit with Simon and impress Simon’s mom. Other than that lunch, he mostly hid in his room. And it goes back to my original point. Just because someone may be good at something doesn’t mean they should be forced to do it. (And yes, even if he walked away from the line of succession, he could still have familial obligations, but it wouldn’t be anywhere near the level of what is expected now) At this point, Wille is only continuing as Crown Prince because of a commitment to his family. Mainly Erik.

He doesn’t want to let him down or feel like he’s betraying his legacy. To Wille, Erik was perfect. We only saw two full conversations between them and in both conversations, Erik was telling Wille to get his act together because “it’s not that hard”.

That quote is probably something he told Wille a lot. So much that Wille later regurgitates it to Boris. Three different times.  

Going on to say that Erik could handle everything easily.  

Based on the fact that Erik was going to Boris, he probably wasn’t managing everything with ease. But in Wille’s perception, he was. Wille is basically chasing a ghost. Self-imposed pressure of unattainable perfection. He bears a guilt that pushes him to want to be someone he thinks Erik would be proud of.   The problem with that is, Erik was a monarchist. Maybe he struggled a bit (which is why he went to Boris), but based on the things he would say to Wille, he backed the monarchy / family completely.

Ultimately, I just want Wille to be happy. Maybe S3 will completely change my outlook and I’ll root for him to become king because that’s what he wants. But right now, I think he only wants it out of a sense of obligation to Erik. And honestly…maybe my most controversial opinion…if he did stay in his position because of Erik, he probably wouldn’t change that much within the institution. I mean, he couldn’t change much even if he wanted to. He wouldn’t be allowed to do big things without the consent of the Swedish parliament and maybe a public referendum. And I doubt he’d even have the capability to make small changes. As already pointed out by @piebingo in this great post, Kristina didn’t actually want August to be next in line. But she was overruled. The Royal Court has a lot of power and making any sort of reforms or independent decisions is not that simple. Especially within an establishment that relies on keeping everything exactly the same. But even if that weren’t true. Even if Wille could snap his fingers and make all these huge changes… part of me doesn’t think he would. I know a lot of the folks who are pro-King Wilhelm want him to become the king just so he can completely destroy it from within. But to me, in Wille’s eyes there would be no bigger betrayal to Erik’s legacy than Wille burning the institution to the ground. And if he wants to live up to Erik’s legacy. Not betray him. Not let him down. He will act as he thinks Erik would act. If Wille becomes king because of Erik, he’ll maintain the establishment because of Erik. And he would be miserable doing it. Miserable and without Simon. Yes, my other controversial opinion. If Wille stayed as king, Wilmon wouldn’t make it. Simon is described to us as a socialist. One of his introductory scenes is him calling the monarchy the country’s biggest welfare scammers. I can’t imagine Simon giving up his musical dreams to join an institution that he hates. I also can’t imagine Wille letting him do that. That was such a big part of Wille’s growth in Season 2. Wille wouldn’t let Simon sacrifice his happiness for the sake of his own happiness (being with Simon). Even if Simon didn’t end up pursuing something in music, he made it clear in his talk with Rosh and Ayub that he wants to work hard to make something of himself.

I mean, look at him. Look at this sweet baby angel’s face when he’s told he has an opportunity that will open doors to his future. I can’t imagine him giving up his ambitions or autonomy to become prince consort. Having to live every day under royal rules and protocols. Maybe he would. I personally can’t see it. And finally, I know a main reason people like the idea of King Wille is because we like the idea of a queer king. But as much as we all want queer representation; I don’t think it should be anybody’s responsibility to be the political representation that people want to see. Wille shouldn’t be in a position he hates because he’s queer. A queer person living their life and getting out of a toxic situation is also good representation. A person can’t fix the problem by becoming part of it. Having him be the face of an institution that’s been about exploitation and oppression isn’t going to solve it. It's always been said by Lisa and Edvin that Wille’s problem is not that he’s queer. It’s that he’s a prince. Everything about what’s making him unhappy is about him being prince / the future king. Him walking away from his title would be about him escaping a future that would make him miserable. Personally, that’s what I’m hoping for.

[whaliiwatching]

hi I'm at a party (mexican) and. people are dancing and I keep thinking abt the chivalry is not death punk mosh pit dance what have you out into my brain a friend convinced me to send this ask bcs I'm shy but also

I need you to know that your fic lives in my brain I think about it daily a bunch of my friends have what we call spider time where we think of Pete and your fic always makes its way back I started discovering Bessie Smith and the new York dolls and ma Rainey and Reagan youth and-

Fuck man idk what even to say your art has left a profound impact in my life and multiple others and helped me appreciate and consider different time periods and how love will always be there

this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me thank you so much oh my gods

thank your friend for encouraging you to send it cos this made my entire month. i’m so so glad people like my little chivalry fic especially when i think it depreciates every day :,) but that’s exactly what i hoped people would glean from it so i’m really happy!!! this v much helps me look back on it better and look forward to writing new fics a lot more!!!

for you, silly drawing of the silly period queers <3

image credit! found it on pinterest, the instas(???) are on it 👌 (frankly i think it should be a new ‘draw ur otp’ lol)

[emeldiir]

Hi just wanted to say I love your blog, I'm a fat butch lesbian and questioning if I'm transmasc and I nearly cried when I saw your fat butch friday selfie. Thank you for being so open about yourself and your experiences, it's been really nice to see myself reflected. (On anon because I'm a coward)

This such a nice ask!!

it’s taken a long time to get to a point where i am at the very least ok with my body, least of all happy and appreciative of it. to be seen and loved by other queer and trans people is so incredibly healing, and i’m so glad that through healing my self image i’m able to inspire other fat trans people.

being a fat trans person of any gender or orientation is so difficult and it’s such a hard life we live in todays society. we need more visibility, and I will continue to create spaces where we are prioritized and supported.

and lastly, you’re absolutely not a coward, engage in whichever way makes you the most comfortable! no shame here :>

have a fantastic day anon, you’ve made mine <3

[rgr-pop]

TIME SENSITIVE ACTION REQUEST!!: can you my beautiful artists/clever people on tumblr make us some abortion button designs this weekend? To sell to raise money for Mountain Access Brigade, a collective of abortion doulas funding access to abortion in east tennessee?

I’m tabling a week from today at Stoopfest in Lansing, which will be headlined this year by Jhariah, R.A.P Ferreira, Weakened Friends, and Direct Hit!. I’m tabling with the Lansing DSA Women’s Section (working title) as well as a coalition of other women organizing with leftist orgs in Lansing (we don’t have a name yet but we call them “the girlies”). We’re looking to hit $5k on our fundraiser by the end of the month, but equally importantly, I’m tabling to meet people who want to plug into projects we’re getting off the ground to organize to defeat transphobic homophobic and anti-abortion power in Lansing, especially (my baby pet project if you know me irl!) launching our campaign to chase out and shut down the anti-abortion fake clinics in the city.

Here’s our fundraising page, you can donate and share (please!) but you should also read it to get a sense of how we talk about our vision:

https://fund.nnaf.org/team/565397

So I need YOU to design abortion loving buttons for me to make to sell for the fundraiser and start conversations that connect people :). Please help lol. The vibe is queer, mutual aidy, creative! Many of the girls I’m going with are harm reduction activists and passionate about self management and self controlled healthcare.

We have a lot of fun/funny ones made already but we need more sweet/straightforward ones that inspire people and ground the sloganing in our principles. Some wording you can use in your designs (but please feel free to think of others)/some jumping off points/guidance:

- abortion is magic

- abortion access (or just access) saves lives

- we use the term “reproductive freedom” as a matter of practice (pro-choice and reproductive justice are okay, but we love this one)

- “bodily autonomy” is another one we orient around

- pro “repro worker” slogans (“i <3 repro workers” always good)

- “i fund abortion”

- tying in safer sex slogans (would love something like this in an 80s/90s safe sex campaign style)

- harm reduction/mutual aid framing (would looove some good ideas here)

- i REALLY want to come with something about bisexual women being statistically most likely to have an abortion (one of my favorite communist conversation starters irl) - in general messages about queer people getting abortions is a vibe!

- we don’t use “women” when referring to who gets abortions but feminist messaging is great. I’d stay away from body parts as imagery

- the classic, “i love abortion”

- slogan-free imagery that supports the vibe

- Y’allidarity :):):)

- This line from a lead organizer with DSA’s Trans Rights and Bodily Autonomy Campaign has stuck with me as a guide, it really gets at the core of this work for me: “In a political climate characterized by fear and isolation, our voice is steady, loving, direct, and shows courage in our democratic socialist convictions.”

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

- Make me some designs on a 2.25 inch circle button template (im a design idiot and need help) in whatever file format and give me permission to print them and turn them into buttons to sell for the fundraiser. THEY DONT HAVE TO BE AMAZING LOOOKING! email me at rikki.g.reynolds@gmail.com

- reply to this post with specific wording ideas if the above inspires you!

- share this post :) and hit up your designer friends who have time this weekend! abortion fund-a-thon is about making hard asks of your friends who can help, and you’ll be glad you did.

- if you want to help promote this fundraiser on your own socials or somewhere else, feel free but you can also dm me for ideas!

Sorry for the last minute (this is why I’m really calling on tumblr GOATs), but I would loooooove to make buttons next MONDAY or possibly as late as Wednesday— I’ll edit this post when I know for sure. It’s an emergency! But you’ll be saving lives!

What can I do for you?

If you ask, I can post pictures on twitter and tag you if you want some traffic (some of our posts get a little traffic). I can PROBABLY also send you a finished button of your design after fund a thon season (May) is over but I don’t want to make that promise for certain yet.

ty!!!

[chevelleneech]

https://x.com/maelstromtrix/status/1830015266341994676?t=GJ-TmfaFidPgqOTA-XahaQ&s=19

I'd love to know your thoughts on this one regarding the military service and gay se* act while serving. Read the SS in the thread

My thoughts are really just a question: Do you genuinely think Jimin and Jungkook, if together, are incapable of refraining from sex on military grounds?

As well, do you think they haven’t thought about all the present and future consequences they could face? There is technically no current evidence of them being in a relationship with one another beyond what shippers think, and it is very likely they do not have photo or video evidence piled up on their phones either.

These are adult men, who have known their entire lives they had to enlist. Same with any other queer man who chose to enlist with his partner. Same as any trans woman who had to enlist. These people are adults and have lived with the fear of being imprisoned or killed due to enlisting while either out or not passing enough to be safe.

As far as I’m concerned, Jimin and Jungkook are in the safest position presumed queer people can be in, because they have the money and time to protect themselves if someone chooses to try and cause them strife. They are also global superstars who have spent the better part of a decade under a microscope, having to operate life as normally as possible while maintaining their privacy.

So again I ask, do you genuinely think they are incapable of being adults who use common sense? Do you truly think they enlisted together, and in that moment decided: “Let’s fuck whenever we have alone time on base, because I can’t stand to not touch you all of a sudden!” No, anon, that is very likely not something they’d do.

As for their lives after enlistment, again… they’re not currently out, and likely do not have any intentions of 1) ever coming out and 2) coming out in a way that would incriminate themselves. Meaning, again, unless they come out and people start posting photos or videos of them fucking during their enlistment… nothing is going to happen.

Being queer prior to enlisting is not illegal. Dating men prior to enlisting is not illegal. Dating a fellow soldier whilst enlisted is not illegal. Having sex with men during their off time, whilst enlisted, is not illegal. What is illegal is having sex with a fellow soldier whilst on military grounds. So even if JM and JK come out after being discharged or operate in a much more glass closet than what they appear to have now, someone would have to 1) kickstart an investigation that does not look like the hate crime it would indeed be 2) prove they were engaging is sexual activities while enlisted 3) have enough of a solid case to prosecute them before it circles back to number one, being a targeted hate crime against queer men who dared serve their country and then came out.

And keep in mind, the whole “Jokers are romanticizing the buddy system” is the only line of defense Tkkrs have now, because they simply hate the fact that JM and JK chose to be together. We all assumed as much once we learned they were using the system, and their words in AYS confirm it. They wanted to do this together. They’re happy to do this together, and in JK’s own words, he has no worries he and Jimin were going to fight whilst together during this time. They were looking forward to being close to each other, and have said since being enlisted they are glad to have each other to lean on.

That’s all there is to it. Letting Tkkrs convince you of anything else, is a problem you have to fix on your own. Because again, common sense tells you these men are not foolish enough to risk prison just for some ass. Not when all they have to do is wait until their vacation time to kick in and do whatever they may want, in the privacy of their own homes. All the rest is just hoopla. It’s Tkkrs grasping at straws and acting like no queer couple in all of SK are capable of self control and sensible thought during enlistment. Only Tae and JK are, which is why they didn’t enlist together… I mean, come on anon… use your head a little bit and see these tantrums for what they are.

[valyrfia]

okay could you please help me, maybe give me advice, it’s a fucking absurd. The last time I thought anything about my sexuality was when I was 16-17 maybe(please don’t mind sore grammars, I’m from Post-soviet country) and now I’m 23. I thought I was attracted to girls at some point but then it just disappeared, I found the guy I love(my family found but still, I love him) and then I just thought maybe it was just a phase or whatever. I still was really supportive towards LGBTQ+ even in a very strict country, I have a close queer friends, defended them around some assholes etc. nothing changed, I just realised for a moment I just had a phase probably or maybe i was influenced by my close friends( I know it’s isn’t the right termin or what happened at all for now but I hope you get what I mean). But maybe a month ago or whatever, I saw your asks about F/F Lestappen fanfics and pls don’t laugh at me, I decided to read and I really liked it, I hope you know what I mean😭I reread almost everything every 2-3 days and also read other f/f stories(I did it before but it was like 1 story in 6 months so I didn’t care at all). I also watched some videos.(I also watched it before but as I said -3/4 videos in 6 months and then I forget about it at all). But for a month I’m just so obsessed with everything about f/f smut/relationship and I honestly don’t know how to felt about it. I don’t really have internalised homophobia, maybe just a guilt to my bf but also I don’t know where it coming from. I always could appreciate a good looking girls(I mean, maybe having a full gallery of Victoria Secret models on a telephone at age of 11 was something lol) but I don’t remember a time where I was that invested. So please could you maybe give me advice, maybe I could talk to my friend but it’s so embarrassing I fucking can’t

Hey anon! I've pondered how to respond for a couple of days now because you're obviously going through something and I want to give you a proper answer.

I don't know you, but from what you've described to me it sounds like you do like women in the most wonderful way one can like women. To quote a friend of mine when I was going through my own sexuality crisis, "straight women don't think about kissing other women, or the mechanics of women kissing or having sex with other women in general". I also sadly hate to break it to you that the Victoria's Secret thing was VERY common amongst now-gay women of our generation. I always used to watch the fashion shows on repeat when I was 12-15 because I 'appreciated the aesthetics of the women'.......

In terms of why you're wondering why you're only figuring this out now, it's extremely common! Heteronormativity–being conditioned by societal norms, standards, couples around us and media to think that heterosexuality is the only form of sexuality that exists–is a bitch. It's easier in society to be heterosexual, that's the sad truth of it, so often we can find ourselves repressing ourselves or ignoring our own body in pursuit of what we consider 'normal'. Far more of us are queer than we realise but so many people live their lives in a disconnect from their bodies not even thinking it could be a possibility, so we who realise really are the lucky ones.

Lastly, you don't have to figure everything out right now! I fully empathise and sympathise that it can shake the foundations of your sense of self a little so feel free to take a while to sit with it. At the end of the day your sexuality is just a part of you, it doesn't define you! And my askbox is always open if you want to talk about any of this.

I'm also selfishly really glad that me yapping about F/F F1 RPF was good for something. If you have any recs......feel free to drop them.

[darcylindbergh]

I’m the minor from the last ask- thank you so much for all the advice. It might be hard to do some of it since my town is really tiny (less than 15,000) but I’ll try. I was outed last year and it was really traumatic but I’ve gained a lot of independence lately and hoping to go to college soon after doing Christian homeschooling my whole life. If you don’t mind, how exactly can I look up marriage license announcements?

hello darling!!

the list of options is not meant as a to-do list!! i was just throwing ideas out. of course some of them won't be feasible for everyone!! don't feel like you have to run yourself ragged. don't feel like you should try to do some of them if you think it might endanger you in any way. remember always: your oxygen mask first, then helping others.

i'm so sorry that you got outed in a terrible fashion. the good news is that coming out is something we kinda do our whole lives, once we start - it can be kind of tiring, sure, but it can also be really joyful and celebratory. yes, i AM queer, thanks for noticing! you will be able to come out at college and meeting new friends and starting a new job and all this other stuff on your own terms, whether that's just showing up with a pride flag flyin or taking someone into your confidence or however you want. we do it endlessly to all sorts of different people. i came out to someone new this week because he came into my job wearing a pride pin and i was like oh hi you?? me!! i'm really sorry that coming out was taken from you, but you will have so many more beautiful coming outs to look forward to. i'm glad you are still here and looking toward your own independence and making plans, that's absolutely the way to go.

marriage license applications!! you can usually just google it (duckduckgo it). i typed in "[where i live] county marriage license applicant publications" and the second result said "applicant report" and they were all there. i guess i don't know if every state requires publication of the marriage licenses applicant publications but if you can find them they're good for the soul.

by the way i gotta say when i looked these up to answer this ask (i usually read them in a legal newspaper, not online) i looked at the reports from june 2015 when obergefell was passed, and the reports went from saying "bride/groom" to "applicant 1/applicant 2" and about halfway down the report there was just a slew of names that were clearly queer couples. the first queer marriage in my county was between two women, ages 61 and 53. i knew this actually because this marriage happened on the lawn of the courthouse i was working at the time, and when the decision came down they FLEW out of the courthouse with the county clerk who performed the marriage within minutes. i cried watching from my window. i couldn't remember their names but now i do! so thank you, that was a special thing for me.

you are going to do such wonderful things and love and be loved by such wonderful people. things will not always feel so dark. i promise.

<3

[altruistic-meme]

Okay i was originally going to try to make a nice and neat little post about heartstopper and some of my thoughts, as well as a separate post about what i like about the comics vs. the tv show. 

Uh. So. I can’t actually corral my thoughts to be coherent enough for that, so here are some various assorted thoughts about it all instead <3 put under a cut bc it is long and rambley and a mess

[spoiler warning for the comics if you haven't read them]

Idk what it is, but I love comic Charlie a LOT. Like. A LOT a lot. There is just something about his character in the comics, his banter, the way he behaves that I love so much more in the comics than the show. I feel almost like the characters aren’t quite the same person, though I do love them both. I just connected so much more with comic Charlie.

Semi-related but I also feel like we get a much more clear picture of his OCD and the attached anxieties in the comics. 

HMMM okay or maybe not. Idk. I think maybe we can see more of Charlie’s OCD in the show through his desire to make everything easy and perfect for Nick, even when it hurts him too. 

He’s popular in the comics!!! It’s mentioned multiple times by other characters that Charlie is popular at school!!! And I think that’s actually a really interesting look at his character. He was bullied for most of y9 and yet the rugby lads think he’s a popular kid in y10. Despite this, we don’t actually see Charlie interacting with basically anyone but the other main characters, and I think that kind of reflects how Charlie views himself. On the way back from Paris, he asks Nick “does this mean I’m a cool kid now?” he doesn’t think people see him as cool but like I said, other characters have said he’s popular. They must have gotten that idea from SOMEWHERE right? But Charlie’s own poor self-esteem means he still doesn’t actually believe he’s cool or that people like him. I don’t know if there was a point to this rant but. Charlie is a popular boy.

I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE KIDS WHO STOPPED THE BULLYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, in the comics Charlie really is a nerd in a way he isn’t in the show. He helps Nick with his math and yells at him for distracting him from his homework. I get why this change happened in the show–it gives us a better idea of the strained relationship that Charlie has with his mom while also showing us that his dad tries to support him but often fails–but I really like it in the comics because Nick calls him a nerd but it’s less obvious in the show how nerdy he really is. 

That said obviously I also ADORE getting to explore the other characters and their lives and everything in the show. I love getting to see more of them. (But I also love how we DON’T always get all the information in the comics, but that’s just because I love when there are background stories happening that we don’t see through the main storyline. This event/love is not unique to Heartstopper) 

I love Imogen!!! I really like that it’s showing her as someone who is sort trying to become friends with the group and that isn’t always a fast or easy process. She goes to the sleepover with them and she hangs out with them in Paris, but she’s doesn’t leave Prom with them or anything. Also, I love the possibility that she is discovering that she’s queer too!! And that her halfway joining of their friend group leads to her discovering herself bc i feel like that’s so true to real life.

I am so curious about the Isaac vs. Aled thing and I wonder if Aled will appear in one of the later seasons, or if he is just not in the show at all. And Isaac! I assume he’s in some extra content I haven’t seen? Don’t get me wrong ofc, I love Isaac and his storyline is SO SO IMPORTANT as someone who is asexual myself. I am so glad that there is the representation of someone discovering that they’re aroace. I do assume that’s part of the reason for him being the 4th friend as opposed to Aled? Idk. 

I’M SO SAD ABOUT OLIVER BEING COMPLETELY OMITTED FROM THE SHOW!!! I assume there is an interview or something where Alice Oseman explains why Oliver wasn’t in the show, but I haven’t seen it and rn I will simply cry about it. I love him and I wish he had been included. 

I am also SO CURIOUS how the rest of the show will look!! I know that I read somewhere that s3 should be the contents of book 4, and that s4/s5 if they get them would be books 5/6 respectively. And I’m so intrigued. Because book 4 is the heaviest of them all so far, and I wonder how it will be translated to the screen. Especially the Sept-Dec timeskip! Will we see that time, especially considering the other character’s storylines??? This wasn’t an issue in the comics since they focus solely on Nick/Charlie, but with all of the other characters it would be more difficult to just skip that whole time. Will it just be a summary of events like in the comics, with flashes to what has happened? Or will we get a more explicit idea of everything?? (probably not including Charlie’s sh relapses or the night in October, but maybe the This Winter content???) i am SO excited for October though so all my questions can be answered :’)

OH something that was super interesting to me was a very small change in dialogue during the scene where Charlie first tells Nick about his sh. In the show, when Nick asks if he still does it Charlie just says “No.” but in the comics he says “No! I mean- hardly ever” and it’s such a small change but it speaks volumes too in the difference between the comic and the show. I’m not really sure what it’s saying though. Was show Charlie just more consistently in a better place where he feels like it’s stopped and won’t happen again? Was comic Charlie just more honest in this moment in acknowledging that it has still happened since? I’m not sure!!! But i’ve spent WAYYY too much time thinking about this one tiny change in dialogue!!!

Another thing is like, I really liked how the comics handled Nick’s dad. Them not meeting in Paris and then him missing Nick’s birthday. It really hits hard exactly how negligent he is, and it gives space for Charlie to be there for Nick when he’s upset. I do like how it went in the show as well, because it does still get everything across beautifully, but idk. I think mostly I’m just remembering the shot of Nick opening the door to greet Charlie on his birthday looking heartbroken and upset about his dad canceling and how hard that hit when i first read it. (keep in mind that i watched the show before reading the comics, so i was surprised at first to learn that they didn’t meet up in Paris! Let alone that he missed Nick’s birthday TOO!!)

Okay I think that’s it for right now. I have largely been spinning comic Charlie in the microwave in my mind bc OUGH i relate to him too much. I will probably come back at some point with more thoughts, but until then. Hope you enjoyed my brief insanity.

[nanamikentostan69420]

thinking a thought right now.

was (UNFORTUNATELY) raised in the white Evangelical christian church & was told for many years that love is slow to anger.

my love is SO quick to anger. I realize that there are teachings of righteous anger and whatnot but I tell you, to love the people around me in the ways that matter deeply to me in the world that we live in, I have experienced periods of being furious for a majority of the hours in a day, for the majority of days in a week, and sometimes even for most weeks in a month.

I somewhere, somehow (CANNOT currently remember where) someone talking about how most of the pacifists they know, anyone who dreams of a world without war/conflict- aren’t actually the mellow, “peaceful”, chill people that pacifists are sometimes painted as.

rather, they look at the world around them and are so heartbroken and absolutely furious at how far from ideal it all is. people die preventable deaths, every single day, in a country where such things SHOULD be incredibly rare (how does the “most advanced/prosperous/other buzzwords that the US of A tout, country in the world lose millions to suicide? to car accidents? to LACK OF HOUSING, lack of food, lack of healthcare? delayed access to healthcare, or having gone without for so long that PREVENTABLE DISEASES are no longer preventable, or the symptoms are now inevitable and more severe?)

ties into another aspect that I’m repeating from Rhett and Link- during the podcast episode where they detailed their deconstruction of the church/religion in their lives, I think it was Rhett that mentioned something along the lines of a sense of justice. That the Christian church is seeing an enormous exodus (pun intended) of people, especially young people- and though this means the church has failed, at least in retaining its members, he points out another important aspect.

The Christian Church operates on an unyielding, ever-present, righteous set of rules, and everything can be measured against those rules to make judgements and take actions in the world around you.

AND THE YOUNG PEOPLE THAT WERE RAISED IN CHURCH HAVE INCREDIBLY STRONG SENSES OF JUSTICE (AT LEAST IN MY EXPERIENCE). We’ve already had to stand firm in beliefs that were typically not those of other peers, and were praised for going against the grain when it’s due to something you believe in firmly- something that gives your life more meaning, that grounds you in community.

so with all that context, is it REALLY surprising that young ex-evangelicals are queer, neurodivergent, and/or anti-capitalist? <- all of these being forms of existence that REQUIRE a difference from the status quo, both in mentality and frequently in what actions people take.

To exist in the christian church in the ways I was told were necessary, so many aspects of life are different from your peers. especially growing up there. EVERY Sunday morning was spent at church. A whole 3-4 hours of my weekend, gone. & then there’s youth groups during weeknights…

Notably, a former youth pastor (SIDEBAR: a more appropriate name could be: child indoctrinater, young enough to be relatable but DEFINITELY old enough to know better) of mine literally sent me a letter in my sophomore or so year of high school and guilt tripped the shit out of me to try to get me to go to youth group more consistently (I was heavily involved in swimming and water polo & attended practice at least every afternoon/evening, sometimes multiple per day) and told me that water polo shouldn’t be more important to me than god, etc. etc.

WILD to say these things to a high schooler whose most valuable and truly independent time away from their parents was during these practices. Jesus christ. I’m so glad I didn’t let that talk me out of being a massive jock. Could talk about this for legit days but it’s bedtime.

[autisticblueteam]

Appears from the ether again, after months of only being present enough to fill my queue up, with some WIP snippets from the gen:LOCK re-write I mentioned before...

And also finally adressing these tags lmao, sorry @thesouppond I realise these are like 3 months old.

#FUCK IM JUST SEEING THIS NOW???#FUCK YEAH 2024 SEASON OF EVERYONE GETS TO REWRITE GENLOCK CAUSE FUCK S2#Ahem anyway hi genlock moot :)))#I love your writing btw! Ive read your existing GL fics theyre great!#at this point if someone can give me a GL fic i havent already met I will forever be indebted to you i am DYING for GL content

We're really out here trying our best to do better by GL than HBO did huh!! I've been loving Reloaded, it was so nice to see someone else pop up in the gL tag after it was comparatively dead for so long. I've been working on my re-write since just after s2 came out and it was lonely in there for a while there lmao.

So I'm glad you enjoyed the couple of fics I've already done! I'm re-using parts of one of them for the actual re-write since I'm going for the 'keep the basic bones of s2 but aim to fix the execution into something less shit/re-work the worst bits' and I didn't want to write that first nemesis fight over again from total scratch lmao...

I want to finish writing all of the re-write before I post it in full, but that does mean it's taking forever whoops.

I'm still not past the introduction of Sinclair as his portion is so involved and I keep getting distracted by other projects/hobbies, but I did finally get to a point where my take on Sinclair is actually fun to write! I'm keeping his boyfriend because I did at least like that Sinclair was made canonically queer and they're actually cute when I'm just doing my own thing.

So since I feel like posting some WIP bits, here's my favourite Chris/Sinclair stuff I've done so far.

“YEAH! Take that you fucked up tin can!” Sinclair winced. The shout was like an ice pick being driven into his skull, but it was also what finally drove him to lift his head. There ahead of him, wielding a large piece of debris in one hand, was a heavyset Asian man dressed in torn clothes and covered in grime. He reared back, and for a split second Sinclair thought that projectile was for him, until he heard an impact, and the last of the humming died. The man brushed off his hands, pride written on every feature, and in that moment he was the most beautiful thing Sinclair had ever seen. “Coast’s clear!” the stranger called behind him. There was movement, but Sinclair didn’t care to look, his attention caught by the man’s approach. “And we’ve got a live one.” Sinclair’s throat was so dry he broke down coughing twice, in the time it took the stranger to kneel in front of him. “I-I’m not Union. I-I know— with the uniform, and the—” Another violent burst of coughing cut him off. The stranger handed him a canteen and a crooked smile. “Yeah, no shit. You’ve got way too much emotion on your face to be even a defector,” he said, and if Sinclair wasn’t so busy chugging the offered water, he might have mustered a laugh. “That, plus, the lack of helmet, the collapsing, and the drone getting ready to turn you into a novelty cheese grater kinda gave it away.” “Christ, I could kiss you right now,” Sinclair blurted and then regretted in quick succession. Fuck. He’d been in near solitary too long, his filter had worn away to nothing and he was making a damn fool of himself in front of the first sane people he’d seen in weeks. Except the stranger just… laughed, good-naturedly. “Close, the name’s Chris, not Christ. And I’d say buy me dinner first, but it’s a bit hard out here.”

AND then a little later...

“What about the refugee railroads?” Chris lowered his beer bottle and wiped his mouth. “Too far.” “Vanguard safe crossings?” “Too far.” “The— fucking Canadian border?” Chris laughed, “Too far. Further than either of the other things. Jesus, dude. You sure you haven’t got a concussion?” “Mostly,” Sinclair said, rubbing his face with his intact hand. “I just— you’re going to die if you stay here. A drone only has to get lucky once.” “And if we go deeper in, we’ll only die faster,” Chris said with a simple shrug. “We already have to pack up and move every few weeks when the line moves. And every time, the Polity border gets a little bit further away. Believe me, man, I want nothing more than to get outta here, but it’s just not happening.” “What if I helped?” The offer fell out before he’d consciously decided to make it, but Sinclair stood by it. Even when Chris looked at him dubiously. “No offence, dude, but you’re just one guy. And two days ago you could barely stand.” “And now I’m fine,” Sinclair insisted. “I’m a soldier. I was decorated for valour after I got my squad out of a run-in with the Union that should’ve killed us all. I was the only one who could even still hold a gun. I swear, I could get you somewhere safe. Are you really telling me you’d rather keep sitting around waiting to die than take a risk?” Chris’s brow furrowed, and he didn’t answer immediately, taking another swig from his scratched up bottle of beer. Sinclair sighed. “Look. I need to get to a Vanguard base one way or another. I don’t want to leave you guys behind if I don’t have to. I owe you my life. And maybe dinner.” Chris almost choked on his drink. “Wow,” he laughed, clearing his throat, “you sure pick your moments, huh?” Sinclair shrugged. “Figure if you’re not actually into it I’ll just blame the concussion.” “That you don’t have.” “Exactly.” Chris rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Smooth. Smooth operator. Alright, alright, fine, we’ll talk to the others in the morning. It might be a tougher sell when they’re not the ones getting dinner with a hot soldier out of it, but hey, guess we’ll see.” “Are you looking past the just-got-done-being-tortured chic, here, or is that part of the charm?” “Are you kidding? There’s a whole genre focused on how hot soldier guys look after they’ve been through hell.” “Not sure that’s the intended takeaway of action movies.” “Well,” Chris shrugged, starting to pick at a can of food, “it was definitely my takeaway.” Sinclair laughed. Honest-to-god laughed, in a way he was surprised he was even capable of after the last few weeks. The normality of the moment was like a balm on all the aching parts of him, mental and physical alike. For a moment he could almost forget that the reason he looked like shit was because he’d just escaped the worst experience of his life. For a moment it felt like the fight was over.

Now I just have to actually get through the remainder of my Sinclair set-up and then I'll be only one chapter away from finishing the first half of the fic... so close and yet so far lmao.

[diamoric-comix]

hi! i don’t usually send messages off anon, but i really wanted to say this. i saw your comic where you mentioned that you grew up in singapore, and while i can’t relate to all aspects of it, (being able-bodied and half chinese) i’m currently still growing up in singapore, and just seeing someone who is queer and singaporean and is just… happy, means so much. i often feel isolated and ‘other’ just like how you mentioned, and even if it often feels like it will be like that forever, your comics and your whole account give me hope that maybe someday i can be me. anyway, i just really wanted to say thanks, and i hope i didn’t come off too forward!

Thank you, Thank you for this message <3 I haven't lived in Singapore since 2011, but it was my home for my entire childhood and I loved it so dearly but I didn't feel like it loved me back...And that's hard. It's a hard thing to go through and I'm sorry that you're going through it.

But there are people out there in the world right now, some people you haven't even met yet that love you *because* you're weird and different not in spite of it. People in Singapore even.

I remember going to Pink Dot in 2011 And realising that there's so much love around... and that event gets bigger and bigger every year.

I'm glad that comic could give you hope! You deserve it. You deserve to be you.

Stay safe and thank you again for your kind message... it really reminds me why telling my story is important.

[whaliiwatching]

Caught up to the fic!! Absolutely fascinated by all the queer/punk/poc history here, since I don't know much myself. Very sweet chapter as well.

Unrelated question - mostly - but why is it common fanon to depict Noir as the more scarred up of various spiderpeople? Naturally everyone has their fair share of fights, though the only we see sustaining any marks is Peter B and his misaligned nose. Personally, I've taken it as Noir Peter not healing as cleanly due to it being Spider God stuff over Weird Radioactive Healing Factor stuff. Thoughts?

thank you so much!! i’m glad you liked it, & hope the ending was satisfying for ya <3

short answer: hot

long answer, plus a map of my idea of noir’s scars: under readmore :)

i’m not a devout spidey comic/movie fan or a doctor. this is based on conjecture and minimal research!

when i came up with my unmasked noir ideas, i wasn’t influenced by fanon—i hadn’t seen any other fan art, not even when itsv came out. but i can think of a good few reasons that scarred noir is a popular headcanon: evidence of what he’s been through makes him feel more tangible/relatable, the visual difference enhances his thematic individuality as distinct from other spider-people (especially other Peter Parkers), self-consciousness can explain why he doesn’t take off his mask in itsv even around other spiders.

all perfectly valid and interesting reasons! but the first two reasons are doylist and the last one is missing a crucial question: why does he have scars? unless a wound is severe, gets infected, or gets lucky, it won’t usually scar. facial injuries especially need to be really bad to leave a mark. and of course most if not all other spider-people have the healing factor. so what gives??

i like the spider god’s curse influences healing factor idea; it opens up some nice angsty possibilities regarding an inability to Be “Fixed;” no matter how much he tries, he can’t erase/forget what’s happened to him. but i also enjoy the bandaging someone up after a fight genre of fic, and am annoyingly pedantic, so my personal working theory is that the healing factor is not a doctor with ten plus years of experience and an accurate understanding of human anatomy. when a bone really badly breaks, it has to be reset or it’ll heal wrong. to me, the healing factor doesn’t know what ‘right’ is, only ‘fast’ and ‘effective.’ it’s an accelerant, not a substitute for medicine.

so let’s establish the baseline. modern spideys either receive modern medical attention or the injury is superficial enough that they don’t require it. even poverty-stricken peter parkers get rushed to the hospital, because fictional doctors Don’t Care About The Money and/or peter is dolled up in spider gear and who’s going to ignore a visibly beat-up celebrity hero?? plus i honestly believed peter b’s nose was just genetics or smthn. my nose is misaligned and it’s never been broken to my knowledge

to compare, noir lives in 1933 and, far as i can tell, doesn’t rlly garner the same fame and respect from the public as modern spideys do. in the 30s, medicine was meh (they had x-rays but didn’t rlly consider radiation much of a threat, penicillin was still in its infancy, polio was a huge threat, etc) but was also, more importantly, far too expensive for most people suffering during the Great Depression. whatever treatment noir receives after a fight, if any, would look way different from ours. that means his healing factor, which can’t differentiate scars from normal skin or a misaligned bone from a whole one, would be inefficiently assisted or left alone. it would leave its history behind.

on the infectious disease side of things, it’s probably much easier for even noir to recover from less physical ailments like the flu and pneumonia—spider healing factor likely remembers and codes for immunity better than regular immune systems—but without modern drug therapies he’d still be worse for wear, ie internal scarring. mans would have a shorter-than-average parker lifespan if not for the pseudo-immortality of the Spider God

anyway. all this to say, here’s my personal map of parker’s scars. crop tank and daisy dukes to keep tumblr off my ass <3

(tbh this is more for my reference than anyone else’s, i’m sick of looking through my art of Just His Forearms to keep my details consistent, but maybe someone will find it interesting lol)

[tommykinrd]

I took your advice and I'm on s3 of the wee woo show and lemme tell you all this angst about living alone and pining for long lost love and feeling like everyone is getting married and having kids and moving away from you is just so ?????!!! How are people still suprised that Buck is queer as hell? That seems to be a quintessential part of the queer experience, when you're experiencing adolescence when everyone is moving on, and wanting to achieve milestones in life but always feeling like they're going to be unapproachable.

On the other hand, buck has known the benefits of found family, and what else is the queer community if not found family? He is now going to have an entire different community from the 118 ready to welcome him and help him navigate life.

Ahhh welcome I’m glad you’re liking this silly little wee woo show!! Season 3 is SO good it’s such a fun watch

And yes the foundation for queer buck has always been there!! Both through subtleties of the writing as well as Oliver Stark’s acting choices, they really lucked out and to me it’s just the irl invisible strings invisibly stringing 😌 And yes he’s gained a whole new community now and I can’t wait to see him further embrace it next season!!

[girl4music]

Just listening to Dom’s Season 3 interview on the Tales Of The Black Badge podcast and I’m just…

I don’t even have the words to describe what I feel right now. First of all - you all probably know that I’m not one for assuming something about someone - but you can absolutely tell just by the way Dom lives and talks and thinks that they’re a very QUEER person. And this is before they came out in both sexuality and gender identity. Like just by virtue of their energy.

They have very QUEER energy. They exude queerness.

Their stories are very queer. Which by the way - I could listen to them tell their stories for hours and hours because holy shit the amount of passion in this beautifully insightful and intelligent human being when they speak just floors me. I’m fucking riveted at everything they say in telling their personal stories of life experiences and evolution and authenticity. It’s really fascinating stuff to know and learn and the way they express it with such enthusiasm and eloquence and the vulnerability and transparency with which to even talk about such difficult and heavy subjects like grief and depression and feelings of worthlessness…

Fucking hell…😮

They may think that they weren’t being true to themselves in not being honest about them being queer but to be quite fucking honest - they really couldn’t prevent expressing queerness if they tried.

It’s just not in them because they’re so damn authentic and self-aware about themselves in general.

They’re one of the most genuine people I’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to speak at all to be honest.

It’s like they’re queer in ways that most people wouldn’t really understand is what “queer” is because most people just connect it to sexuality or gender like the umbrella term “gay”. But “queer” is far more broad of a term than just a sexuality/gender identity. Like it comes down to the nature and core of who/what somebody is is what “queer” actually means.

That’s the level of QUEER Dom is and how they express themselves in this interview shows this beyond a shadow of a doubt. You can really feel it.

It’s an extremely difficult thing to explain but I hope I’ve done sufficiently well in saying what I have here. But if you listen to the episode yourself, you’ll hear what I actually mean. Dom personifies QUEERNESS even without having yet come out as a queer person.

I’ll say it again… I don’t like assuming anything about anyone - especially not about anything as personal and intimate as sexuality and gender identity but… I am claircognizant and so I can’t ignore the gut feeling. But I’m glad I’m only just noticing it now they’ve come out rather than before they did because it wouldn’t be my place at all to say they’re queer before they said it.

That does make me feel less icky than I’d feel if not because I am the last person on this earth who will speak publically about somebody possibly being queer when they haven’t declared it themselves.

Myself? Sure, no problem. A fictional character - depending on what level of representation they are - it’s possible. But I will never do it with a real person.

But as I said - I’m claircognizant - so I can’t deny that gut feeling and I won’t. So I’m saying it. Dom is very queer. But they’re queer in ways that go beyond the contexts and binaries of sexuality and gender identity. And that’s a very difficult thing to actually explain to someone who just doesn’t understand the broader spectrum of the term or only think it means “gay” because it requires you to express the experience of “otherness” and people that don’t experience that at all wouldn’t understand the level of queerness I mean.

Queerness is an experience. An internal experience. It’s not necessarily anything to do with sexuality or gender identity - but those things can come into it. And it’s very common that someone that knows and feels that they’re queer viscerally do come into that but well after the internal experience of “otherness”. It’s part of the queer journey but not the entire thing.

Dom is one of these people that would probably understand their personal experience and queer journey as something that goes far beyond being LGBTQ+. Just as I would. Just as I always have.

I’d love to meet them and tell them this because they get it so well without even really realizing that they do.

Which is just the most authentic thing of all because that’s like a newborn baby’s level of authenticity. Babies shit on the floor and draw on the walls and that’s just how they are - that’s the wisdom of them.

Dom is that extreme level of queer. So I don’t think they were ever being dishonest or a hypocrite or anything of what their negative destructive voices kept telling them that they were before they came out as a queer person. I think they were very transparently queer from the get go. It’s everyone else that had to realize and learn that “queerness” goes deeper than the surface level of sexuality and gender identity.

In a sense - it’s like they were worried they wouldn’t fit in with the queer community because they were so much more queer than they even realized at the time. It’s just really upsetting to me to know that they’d ever believe that they were a fraud in any period of time - when in my view - they couldn’t fake it if they tried because they breathe extreme queerness at its core.

[ecargmura]

Senpai Is An Otokonoko Episode 3 Review - Lying To Yourself

This episode stressed me out. It’s not because it was bad, but it delved into a topic that was a bit frustrating to look at and that would be a queer person trying to fit into society by conforming to what people expect of them. That’s what Makoto goes through in this episode—he tries to give up what he loves and it gets hard on both Aoi and me, the viewer.

Anime moms are usually either dead or supportive. Makoto’s mother Mika is none of those. She’s not supportive and probably does need to be out of her son’s life. How can you call your son twisted for not being a regular boy? She’s so vile. I hate that she always makes it about herself. Has she ever sat down and talked with Makoto regarding this? I bet she hasn’t since she said “Don’t put me in a tight position.” Just thinking about her makes my blood boil. I’m glad that Makoto at least has a supportive dad, but where is he? Did they divorce? Does he live away from home? Regardless, I’m glad that his dad understands Makoto in a way and tries to help him resolve his gender issues by telling him to decide when he feels the time is right.

I also hate how the people in his school started treating him ‘normally’ when he decided to stop crossdressing. The fact that they never gave a damn about him when crossdressing really does say something about how Japanese society views conformity and what not. People don’t want to associate with you when you’re not what they want you to be but when you do become what they want, that’s when they give a damn. This sort of mentality reminds me of Mitsuri’s backstory told in Demon Slayer Season 3 where she was shunned by men around her for not being the ideal girl because of her hair color, appetite and strength. Her parents were very supportive of her, fortunately. However, when she decided to conform by dying her hair black and holding back on her strength and appetite, she knew how hard it was to pretend to be someone she’s not. That was what Makoto noticed. When he became a normal boy, girls started talking to him, boys not named Ryuji started asking him to help them with basketball and that one teacher even asked Makoto to help him with errands. It sucks that the school he goes to has a principal or a headmaster that is accepting of Makoto’s gender issues, yet the a teacher, someone hired to work in the facility, was being discriminative towards Makoto before really frustrated me.

Now for Aoi and Ryuji’s reactions… Ryuji has known Makoto for a very long time, so he’s accepting of whatever he does and doesn’t try to talk him out of it. Though, I do wish that he at least would try to talk to him about his true feelings. However, Aoi hates the fact that Makoto is lying to himself. Both are good friends, however. Ryuji even wanted Aoi to make up to Makoto because her distance seemed like it was bothering him. Aoi is a real one for liking Makoto just the way he is. She likes him just the way he is and she even wants him to truly like her for who she is. It must have been hard for Aoi to get asked out by Makoto when it wasn’t really genuine on his part. It was also sweet how she managed to change out of her dress and let him wear hers as soon as she put on the red heels she saved. I do like the interactions between Ryuji and Aoi. Even though they both like Makoto, they still are good friends with each other. He even treated her to prosciutto-wrapped melons.

I dread the day that the confrontation between Makoto and his mother happens. It’s going to get messy. I just hope that Ryuji and Aoi will still be there for him when things get rough. What are your thoughts on this episode?