#i’m not a strong swimmer so i’d just die

[salvia-plathitudes]

Yesterday I put up some more of my peel and stick wallpaper and we’re so nearly done. I know this is going to sound crazy considering the precision necessary for the task but it was actually so much fun! Although it didn’t seem it at first high quality peel and stick IS forgiving.

My tips for anyone who is insane enough to try wallpapering something is to choose a really busy pattern. At first you will ask yourself why you chose something that requires each point to line up precisely. Then when the full picture is produced you’ll realize that you were never going to be completely lined up and that the business of the pattern hides those imperfections, and you’re going to love yourself.

And for the love of all things that need caretakers, always have at least one if not two people on hand. It’s not humanly possible to do it with just yourself.

The tip that saved the project was the realization clear masking tape / duct tape wouldn’t hurt our paper if it was taped to it, so we taped the sheet to the wall to pre-align it before taking the backing off. Only downside was sometimes when taking the tape back off the heavy duty yet thin tape didn’t come in one piece, so I would fold the tape over on itself and leave a pull tab.

When you’re using a razor to cut away the excess always hold the razor straight on and never at an angle, or you will lose some of the paper and the wall behind it will peek through! I have a black wallpaper so with any imperfections I was able to cut strips from another piece and fill in the gaps where I could see the wall behind.

Expect it to take hours and hours and hours and hours. Tomorrow is our last day with it and we will have spent three separate days on what doesn’t look like a lot.

This is my pattern!

[writer-rubes]

Head in the Clouds

A Wholesome Fic

A/N: No need to worry, I’m still invested as heck in SAMS/LAES. I’m just gonna take a break from writing about it for a while. I can only take so much angst! Besides, I planned to do more with this blog anyway. It’s for all my obsessions, not just one!

But anyways, onto something incredibly self indulgent. I’ve been stupidly obsessed with @fluffyhare ‘s Avery! And their love, Casper, of course! They’re so sweet and cute. I adore them with all my being and all their tomfoolery. So that’s why I’m throwing in a third whe- I mean, doing some cute interactions with them with my own persona! Because honestly- I’m lonely

Casper and Avery belong to @fluffyhare ! No worries, I got their permission!

I hope you enjoy it! And I hope I did Avery’s character justice-

————————————————————————————————————————————

Head in the Clouds

Chapter 1/3: The Meeting

CW: Drowning, Depression, Injury, Romantic Fluff, Teasing

(No real tickles yet, but they’ll come up, no worries)

————————————————————————————————————————————

What was with that night?

Not words I’d typically use to describe supernatural experiences and almost drowning, but here we are. Those words were all I could think of to describe that night.

One week ago, I had nearly drowned. It was late at night, and I had gone out to the pier to think. I had been experiencing a lot of difficult feelings, so I figured staring out into the foggy, dark sea would allow for my mind to clear.

It did clear my mind for a while. The crashing of the waves, the smell of the salty sea, and the view of the moon just above the horizon… it was a perfect picture for a calm mind. Staring out allowed for the fog within me to part and give me the strength to go onward.

However, as I turned to walk back to my apartment, I was faced with a strange, shadow like figure. Since it was too dark, I couldn’t make out their face. I tried to walk away, but before I could even process what was happening, the figure grabbed me by the waist, and threw me over the edge of the pier, and I plummeted into the sea below.

I didn’t have time to process it, run, or even catch myself. It all happened so fast. As I fell into the cold sea, I struggled to swim up for air. However, every time I tried to reach the surface, another wave crashed on top of me, pushing me down further. Though I could swim, I wasn’t exactly a strong swimmer. Eventually, the lack of air started to get to me, and I felt my consciousness start to fade.

Suddenly, I felt air fill my lungs again. Something held onto my hood, and yanked my head above the water. I could barely see due to the salt in my eyes, but the figure who pulled me out wiped it away with a wet cloth. I got a good look at them.

Their head… it was the shape of a cumulus cloud. They had glasses, and a puffy sweater for the current colder months. Wearing a sweater in the ocean? Blasphemy!

This being… I wasn’t sure what they were. A deity? A guardian angel? Or something else? Did I die? So many questions were running through my head. The figure rested their soft hand on my cheek for a moment as I stared in awe. They looked like they were about to speak, but police sirens, ambulance horns, and worried chatter were heard on the beach. Before I could thank them, the figure dropped me off on the beach, and disappeared.

Doctors, bystanders, and police officers surrounded me, asking me hundreds of questions. I could hardly process them all. I kept assuring them I was alright. But I didn’t tell them how I fell in. Or what saved me. They’d think I was crazy! So I just told them I was walking at night and a stray dog chased me off the pier. I hoped they’d believe it.

Now, a week later, I had recovered just fine. But I stayed away from the pier. I didn’t want that figure to come back. But now it was early morning, and I was up and walking, long before businesses were open. Why? I couldn’t sleep. I was too focused on my own work to realize that it was already six in the morning. Now, I was walking through a mist so thick, I could barely see my own feet as I walked. Who would he crazy enough to be awake and out in this weather besides me?

A cry of shock answered my question.

Upon hearing this cry, it sounded like someone had gotten hurt. I hated seeing others harmed. I followed the noise, and saw someone I hadn’t seen, despite living in Port Oleander for a while. They had blue hair, a green hoodie, and a pair of jeans, plus a pair of blue sneakers on. They were on the ground, wincing in pain. I rushed over to them, and bent down next to them.

“Are you alright?” I asked them. They turned to face me.

“I-I’m fine. God, why did I decide to go skating when I can barely see the ground?” They asked themself. I noticed that beside them was a longboard. That must be why they fell. I frowned slightly. I saw that they had a pretty bad cut on their hand…

“Oh, my…” I whimpered, opening my purse. “I swear I have some bandages in here somewhere…” I dug around in my purse for a while, trying to figure out where they were. I found them, and pulled them out.

“Come here, this won’t hurt.” I assured them. They held out their hand, and I took it. I wrapped up their hand in bandages, preventing any bleeding or infection.

“Thank you… that’s better.” They muttered. I stood up, and I helped them stand up. I led them over to a nearby bench, and I got their longboard for them before sitting down next to them.

“So… what happened?” I asked quietly.

“Oh…” I could tell they felt slightly embarrassed. “Well, I woke up early, so I decided to go and skate for a while. I figured it would give me some energy. But I wasn’t watching where I was going, and I didn’t realize I was so close to the curb. My board fell off the sidewalk and I tumbled with it.”

I nodded as I listened. I could understand going out and doing something nice. Something to clear the mind a little. I certainly did a week ago. But then they broke the silence again.

“And what about you? Why are you out here?”

My cheeks turned slightly pink. “I… have been struggling as of late. I also woke up early, and I thought a stroll would make me feel better.” I shrugged. I was also thinking of that odd being who saved me… but I decided not to mention it.

“What’s your name?” I asked the one beside me. They smiled a bit.

“Oh, I’m Casper.” They said. I got a full grip on him when he told me his name, and I softly giggled.

“Really? You don’t look like a ghost to me.” I joked. Casper chuckled softly.

“I’ve heard that one before.” He said. “And you are?”

“I’m Rubes.” We shook hands. At least, I shook his hand that wasn’t hurt. “Nice to meet you, Casper.”

“Nice to meet you too, Rubes.” He responded.

We spent a little while talking. Getting to know each other a little. I told him about my library job, why I moved here, and what I liked doing. While he told me about his drawing abilities, his love of skateboarding, and his own hobbies. There was something about him I really enjoyed. He was just so sweet.

“It’s wonderful that you have such a muse, Casper.” I said during our conversation.

“He’s a perfect muse! I expected him to come running after I fell, but he is a scientist. So may-“ He was cut off when a voice rang out through the mist.

“Dewdrop!”

In a blur, Casper was picked up and carried off the bench, held in the arms of a mysterious figure that I couldn’t make out in the mist.

“Avery?” Casper said nervously.

“Oh, Dewdrop, I’m so sorry! I woke up sensing you fell, but I couldn’t get ready to come out in time! I tried to hurry, I promise!” Casper assured the figure.

“It’s okay, but…” He pointed to me, and I was just sitting there, staring at them.

“What?” The figure asked, before he turned to look at me. He was a bit surprised to see me. Maybe he thought only Casper was nuts enough to come out in this weather.

But he looked so familiar.

The figure approached me, and I shifted slightly on the bench. A soft smile appeared on their cloud-like face.

“I’m glad you’re alright.” He muttered. Then it clicked.

“You…” I whispered, shock lining my voice. “You’re the one who saved me.”

A slow nod followed from the cloud. He was so gentle. He bowed his head in respect.

“I am. I’m Doctor Avery Nimbus. It is an honor to finally meet you.” He said, taking my hand. “And I must thank you for helping Casper. He means the world to me, and I wish I could have been here sooner to help…”

“Oh, it’s okay.” I assured the doctor. “I’m Rubes… And really, thank you. Thank you for saving me.” I whispered as he helped me up from the bench.

“Wait… he saved you?” Casper added. I nodded, started to quickly explained what happened.

“I… went to think on the pier, and I fell into the sea.” I left out the scary figure part. “But he… pulled me above the water just in time. And got me to the beach where a search party was.” I explained. “If I’m being honest… I thought he was a dream.”

Avery let out a soft chuckle. He lifted his hand and stroked it across my cheek.

“Does that feel like a dream, Rubes?” He asked. I smiled and shook my head.

“No… But you do have soft hands.” I whispered. Avery chuckled again.

“All the better to tease my Dewdrop with~” He went over to Casper, and hugged him from behind. Casper let out a gasp, and a surprised, yet happy squeak.

“H-hey! Avery!” He cried.

“What? Is my touch just too much?” He started putting light kisses on Casper’s cheeks. “Does it make your cheeks red? Does it make you happy?” Casper whined and giggled as his cheeks burned a deep shade of red.

I was happy for them. It was clear they loved each other. And I wasn’t the type to interrupt sweet moments. So I picked up my purse, and slowly started to walk off. Before I could get even three steps away however, I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“Rubes, wait… where are you going?” Avery asked me.

“Oh, um… I was hoping to return to my apartment so I could get ready for work.” I answered. Avery shook his head.

“Oh, that won’t do! Not at all!” He cried. “I still need to thank you kindly for helping Casper when he fell!”

“Avery, I’m alright-“ Casper tried to tell his cloud love, but Avery ignored it. Not to be rude to him, but to be nice to me.

“How about you spend a little time on the beach with us? It’s so foggy that no one will find us. I could get you some tea, and we could become more acquainted.” I smiled a bit at the offer. He was so sweet… Besides, Avery didn’t seem like the type who was going to take no for an answer…

“Oh, alright.” I answered. “But just for a little bit… I have work in a few hours. The library opens at around ten.” I muttered.

Avery clapped his hands together in delight. “Wonderful!” He pulled both myself and Casper down the boardwalk to the beach. A thick layer of fog covered the sea and sand around us. I turned to face Casper.

“Are you sure being on the beach like this is… safe?” I asked quietly.

“With Avery around, we’re in the safest hands possible.” He assured me. I wasn’t sure if that was true, but I decided I had nothing to lose. Well, besides my cat.

Avery pulled out a towel for us to rest on. It was big enough for all three of us to sit down on. Despite the clouds above and the fog surrounding us, the beach felt oddly tranquil. Like I was floating in an abyss, with no thoughts plaguing me. Just the mist around the picnic blanket, Casper’s calm expression, and Avery’s kindness. Avery looked me over for a moment, and smiled a bit.

“Please don’t tell me what your favorite tea flavor is. I want to see if I can read you.” I thought about that. If he picked a flavor that I had never tried, that would be okay. I loved tea.

“Okay…” I just went along with him. His body blended in with the mist around us, and he vanished. I was surprised for a moment. That was a fun party trick. I turned again to Casper, who was sitting next to me with a relaxed expression.

“You two are… dating, correct?” I asked. Casper nodded.

“I guess it’s obvious.” He laughed slightly. “But he means the world to me. He’s beautiful, caring, soft…” His cheeks turned red as he fawned over his cloud love. I smiled as I listened.

“He sounds lovely.” I whispered. “And you two make an adorable couple.”

“Oh, thank you…” Casper smiled slightly at my words. “He saved you from drowning?” He asked me, and I slowly nodded.

“It was horrifying.” My breath shook slightly. “I really thought I was gonna die… But he pulled me above water, and I could breathe the moment my nose and mouth resurfaced…” Casper nodded as he listened.

“Avery… he’s a very powerful being.” He explained. “He can shut power off with his electricity, he can control water, he’s an amazing swimmer…” He started to blush. “He can even make… ghost hands…” He trailed off at that, his face turning a deeper shade of red.

“So… what is he, exactly?” I asked. “Where did he come from?”

Casper thought for a moment before answering.

“From what he told me, he’s from a place called Cirropa. A world full of cloud people. He’s told me he’s an elemental. Which makes sense… He also has wind powers and ice crystals in him.” I nodded as he spoke.

“And… how did you meet him?” I asked quietly. He laughed a little.

“Similar way you did. I fell into the sea, and he saved me and took care of me. From there, we bonded, and we eventually fell for each other.” He sighed in contentment, tracing shapes in the nearby sand with his finger. “He’s always so gentle. And so kind with his words.”

I nodded as I listened. Now I felt bad. I was probably being a third wheel to them, when they clearly adored each other. I was probably in their way. I turned away, staring out at the mist, watching it fold over itself. Before I could get too deep in thought, Avery returned with two cups of tea in his hand, and one on his cloudy head.

“Here’s yours, Casper.” He handed the boy a cup. “It’s your favorite.”

Casper chuckled softly, taking a sip. I smiled a little. Avery was truly a gentle one. The cloud took the other cup off of his head, and handed it to me.

“This one’s yours, Rubes. I hope you like vanilla chai.” I smiled as I took it.

“That’s actually my favorite.” I admitted to Avery. “Thank you…” I took a sip from mu own cup. It was a gentle and sweet flavor as I expected, but it was just strong enough to get the full flavor, and light enough to not feel like getting smacked in the face with it.

“It’s perfect.” I whispered softly. Avery chuckled.

“Only the best for my guests.” He gently poked my nose, making me giggle slightly. “So you say you work at the library?” He asked me. I nodded.

“It’s a paid internship, but yes. And I don’t do anything special. I just clean and help others who need my help. I’m basically just a supporter.” I shrugged. “But it’s nice. My boss is really sweet, and she supports my dreams of being an author.”

“You want to be an author?” Casper asked. I nodded slowly.

“Yes. It’s been my life’s dream since I was young. I love to write… it’s an escape for me. It allows me to throw myself into other worlds, be in other people’s shoes… Creating new concepts just from the mind alone…” I smiled slightly. “It’s a magical thing. And I want to share it.”

“That sounds lovely.” Avery said, warming my heart. “What do you intend to write?” He asked. I smiled slightly.

“Well, I have multiple stories in my head at once, but I’m going to flesh them out, one by one…”

I didn’t even realize I was rambling. When someone asks about my work, I get spun into a tizzy. I loved writing fantasy stories, and as such, a bunch of words spilled out before I could process it. At that point, I was just talking because it interested me. I didn’t even notice they were listening. Interested, even! I was just talking about the work I spent years perfecting. Normally, I’d only reveal them to those I trusted. But right now… I just wanted someone to hear it.

After I finished rambling with my tea, we started talking as a group. Avery told me of his own work, and both of them told me of their relationship. They were so sweet together. I never had a relationship like theirs. I hardly even know what romantic love felt like. No one was ever interested in me.

“I’m sure that someone out there admires you for who you are.” Avery told me. “You are a kind person. And I hope to spend more time with you in the future.”

“And you’ll probably see me often.” Casper added. “I’m always going to the library to pick up books for Avery.”

A sharp gasp escaped me. How long had I been here? I checked my phone.

Shoot! I had work in thirty minutes!

“As fun as this was, I… really have to go! Thank you for the tea, Avery!” I stood up. “Hope to see you both around!” I ran off to my apartment, ready to get changed for work. However, as I rushed, a special notebook fell out of my bag. I called it my purse, but it was more of a messenger bag than anything else.

Casper tried to call to me about it, but I was too far out of earshot to hear him. When the notebook fell, it was forced open to a page held with a feather bookmark. Casper, curiosity getting the better of him, picked it up.

His face turned immediately red when he read what was within. Pages and pages of characters of my own design, getting tickled. And it was descriptive, too. Not just a one off. There were even little doodles on the sides here and there. He practically choked on air for a moment.

“Dewdrop? Are you alright?” Avery asked as he noticed Casper’s burning face.

“Avery… look.” He handed Avery the notebook, taking deep breaths to try and recover from reading it. Avery’s face lit up in amusement. I certainly spared no details when it came to this stuff. Normally, I never took that notebook out in public. But I didn’t think anyone would be around.

“Do you know what this means, Casper?” Avery asked. Casper nodded.

“We have a community member we gotta welcome in.” Casper finished. “Should we return the notebook, though?” He asked quickly. Avery nodded.

“I will return it in due time. It is hers, after all. But I want to hold onto it for a bit…”

“For research purposes.”

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

When you love somebody...

[Flashback]

Here. Gotcha one.

...

*Hunter hands Hina an energy drink.

If you think this is gonna make me talk...

Don’t make it sound like an interrogation. 

But I assume THIS will if that doesn’t.

...!?

*Hunter suddenly pulls a sugary donut out from his pocket. He hands it to Hina, who snatches it.

...Thanks.

Heh...

*She starts to chew on the donut.

So...how’d you find me?

You might not know this, but I’m actually pretty famous. I have been for a fair while now.

It honestly sucks...Back in the day, I got hounded by paparazzi left and right. The only reason people don’t do it as much any more is because they think Hunter Rosenhall is dead, and that I’m just a double act or something.

Kuripa told me that you were an Olympic level swimmer at one point. Surely you know the feeling?

Too well. It’s annoying when you’re trying to swim...

Because they’re taking pictures of you when you’re exposed? Yeah, I’ve been there. 

E-Exposed isn’t right, I-I don’t swim naked or anything!

You know what I meant...!

*Hunter and Hina sit on a bench in silence for a short while. Hunter downs his drink while Hina finishes off her donut.

...

Can I ask a weird and kinda insensitive question?

...What?

What happened during the Killing Game? Yours I mean...

I know Makoto went over it for us all, but that was just from his perspective. I think he was beating around the bush a little because the idea of demonizing his friends and classmates didn’t sit right with him.

Hell, Maya and Four were doing the same thing most of the time, and they’re both blunt as a hammer most of the time.

...

I don’t really want to talk about it...but...

Hina: I never killed anyone, and...I never died either, but...I did things that I’m not proud of...I almost got everyone killed...and all because I misunderstood my best friend.

They all forgave me in the end...Often times I wonder if they should have...

They sound like great friends.

Yeah...but I failed them again, even after all that...Hiro’s gone as a result...

...They don’t need me...

I think they do. In fact I think the reason they forgave you back then is because...they’ve always needed you.

What do you mean?

Come on, you’re the coolest one of the group. They need that emotional support.

...I don’t know...

*sigh* 

It doesn’t feel good, does it? Looking around, seeing everyone depressed and angry, and sad...Hopeless...Like the sky is gonna collapse on you...You regret not having done more, or done things differently...

How...How did you know?

I’ve been there man...At the end of the Freedom Academy Killing Game, when Feng told us we were all gonna die? I don’t think I’ve ever seen everyone look so defeated...

They all had such...blank expressions...devoid of any kinda emotion. They genuinely believed that the world didn’t care about us or who we were...

[Flashback 2]

Hunter: Maya was always so...loud and energetic, even back then, but in that moment, she was silent...

Hunter: Four had a thousand mile stare...Not looking at anything, just...staring...

Hunter: Even Leona was silent. She in particular had gone through so much she didn’t deserve. She’d become so strong, and so brave over the time we’d spent together, but even she was silent then...

Hunter: Oliver was just as upset...Of course, I would be too if my mother told me anything close to what THEIR mother did...

Hunter: And...even now, I still feel a pain in my chest when I remember how Kouji looked. I was so used to that cute dopey expression...It was so hard to see him so upset...

Sound familiar?

Yeah...You hit it right on the head. I felt the exact same way when I thought that we had been fighting for nothing.

If there’s one thing Junko Enoshima does well, it’s making you feel the worst things in the world. Emilia Feng does the same.

In fact, I’m feeling that Despair right now...I really did think I’d moved past this, but...ever since the Fugitive incident, I feel like...like I’m stuck in quicksand, and I’m clinging to everyone else to save myself, but it’s just dragging them in with me.

Yeah...but...even so...Seeing my friends like that...Feeling that Despair...Knowing that there would be nobody to save us...nobody to care about us...

Back then, I wasn’t about to let them feel that way...

What...happened?

...I convinced ‘em...That Emilia was wrong when she said no one cared about us.

Because we still cared about each other.

[Flashback 2]

Don’t you get it? It’s all hopeless...Everything we fought for; all of our friends who died...None of it matters...None of it...There’s nobody to care about us

That’s wrong! Kokona cared about you! Right!?

What? But...she’s dead...

So what!? Her memory isn’t! She cared about you so much, and you can’t let that love die! Do you wanna give up on her like that!?

Her...memory...? After she died...I kept going because I wanted to make her proud...How could I forget that...?

I...have to keep fighting!

I can’t just let myself die here! I can’t give up on her!

What are you guys talking about...? We did all our investigating; we tried everything we could. After all this time the truth doesn’t even matter...we were doomed this entire time...

Four...Come on man...!

Did my sister feel this same hopelessness? Did she die in the same way? I guess it doesn’t matter anymore...the truth doesn’t matter...because we’re going to die either way...

Dammit Four! You can’t give up on the truth!

Do you think we can seriously change the fact that we’re going to die? We’re going to be just like all the other people the Fang killed for her own ends...

No! The truth is always worth it!

That’s what we’ve been fighting for this entire time!

We have this chance, and it’s higher than none! We can still do this! You can’t give up! You’ve been fighting since the beginning!

The truth...what I’ve been looking for since we got here...

...I suppose this is what I’ve been working towards my entire life...

All the more reason you can’t give up on it bro!

Right...After all that hard work and effort...I guess it’s a bit difficult just to give up like that...

I don’t know about this “last chance” of yours Hunter, but if you think it’s enough to fight for...then I’ll do it. I’ll hold onto that possibility until my last breath leaves my body.

Welcome back Four...

Now...what about YOU?

Me? Why? I was never your friend...And it appears I was nothing to my own mother as well...she doesn’t care about me...I was just...a pawn...a piece of apparatus in this game...None of it ever mattered...I was nothing more than a pig, being prepared for the slaughter. Nobody ever cared about me...

Oliver...you’re wrong...

What?

You say nobody ever cared about you, but we’re all still right here! You wanna know something?

I forgive you! Even if you’re the “Mastermind” or...whatever the fuck that means you’re still our friend! I am NOT gonna give up on you!

You all...cared about me...? 

Even after...all this?

Hell yeah dude! We’ve always been pals! Even now!

Pals...I’ve...I’ve never had “pals” before...I was raised for the sole purpose of being in this game...

If...you guys really still accept me...even after all of this...then maybe there really are people out there that care about me? My mother may have given up on me, but I’m still my own human! I’m not something that she owns! I don’t have to do what she says!

Fuck yeah! Teenage rebellion!

...

...

*Hunter steps out from behind his podium and approaches Kouji. He takes his hand, as Kouji rests his face in Hunter’s chest.

My family...I don’t even know where they are...These people have total control over us...They’ll never let us go...What’s the point? Why even bother? There’s nobody to save us now...

Kouji...that’s not true...

I won’t let anything happen to you...not if I can help it...

*He kisses him gently on the head.

I love you man. As long as I’m here, I won’t let you give up.

Hunter...

Heh...I must be pretty dumb, huh?

This whole time, I’ve been the one talking about never giving up. With you around, I never felt like I was in any danger...I guess I forgot about that...

You...make me feel safe...

But don’t think you can say you’ll just keep me safe like it’s nothing! I’m gonna protect you too!

I know that we’ve got each other’s backs! I can’t ever forget that!

Are you guys seriously having a romantic anime scene in the middle of this...!? Are you all crazy or something...!?

Maya...

She’s made it pretty clear what’s gonna happen to us...They’re gonna kill us. We don’t have any Hope left...Do you seriously think we have any chance? Do you seriously think we can do anything? 

There’s nothing! Nothing at all! This world doesn’t care about us! NOBODY cares about us!

Who the fuck cares!?

!!??

Maya...it may be true that the world at large doesn’t care about us...If you take NHC’s power into consideration, they pretty much control the world...

But even if the world doesn’t care about us, it doesn’t matter! Because we care about each other! Let your promise with Caesar be proof of that!

...!?

I...I did make a promise...

I promised that I wouldn’t give up!

All of you...All of you are my friends...! The world may have it out for us...but I’ve got all of you on my side! 

So who gives a damn about what the world thinks!? I’m Maya-Goddamn-Canzanilla! When I see a wall, I tear it down! 

Welcome back...

Right after that is when Oliver pulled out their trump card. You know the rest of the story.

Hunter...I had...no idea...

Yep, gets tough sometimes. You get major back pains when you spend so long carrying this team.

Hehehe...You’re just like Makoto, you know that?

Still...it can’t be easy...Being that pillar of support that keeps the rest of them going...

I knew Maya had some esteem issues about her mission, but...now I see you’re the reason she kept going...

Hina, you gotta understand something...It’s...sweet and honorable that you didn’t wanna drag your friends into the quicksand...

But if they’re your friends...and I mean they’re REALLY your friends...Then you gotta understand that they’ll happily dive right into the sand with you.

That’s how Hiro saw it when he sacrificed himself...And that’s how I saw it when I did all that shit...

You saved everyone’s lives...

...And I’d do it again...and again...even if I spent an eternity suffering, watching the people I love die...

The Killing Game that Emilia put us through was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my whole life, but I wouldn’t change a damn thing about it...

Why not?

Because the Freedom Foundation are the people I love most in the universe...and because I love them...I’m willing to do anything for them. Because that’s what you’ve gotta do.

...Even if it hurts you? Or hurts them?

Pfft...ESPECIALLY then. And I think you know that well...

You loved...what was her name...Sakura, so much...that you were willing to get every other person killed to avenge her.

But that’s not what she wanted.

Yeah, it wasn’t...but even if that’s the case, you still tried to do it. That’s proof right there...that you’re a good friend. The best in fact.

And uh...between you and me...you’re definitely my favorite of your group.

Hehehe...

You’re good at this Hunter...

So I’m told...

Listen Hina. I didn’t come here to convince you to rejoin the Future Foundation. If you don’t think you’re cut out for it, or you don’t want to shoulder that responsibility, then I’m not gonna be the one who forces it upon you.

All I’m saying is that you should come back and talk to Kyoko about how you feel. Not as a Future Foundation branch chief, but as her best friend. I don’t think I ever saw that icy shell of hers crack until you left...I didn’t like what I saw, so that’s why...

I...

Don’t start blaming yourself. You can make this right. Just come back, and tell Kyoko how you feel, WITHOUT storming off before giving her a chance to speak.

*Hunter holds out a hand.

Now...we’ve got work to do...

...

*Hina takes his hand.

[Present day, Freedom Academy]

UGH! Even with backup, this is still infuriating!

We can’t see the enemies, but if we apply enough force, it breaks the camouflage! But the truck alone isn’t enough!

In that case, it’s time for Plan P!

Plan P!? Why P!?

HUNTER!

Oh! Is it time!?

Let’s do this!

What are you guys doing?

*Hina doesn’t answer. She and Hunter reach behind their backs and pull out the same object.

Are those...Super Soakers?

You’re gonna attack them with toy water guns!?

Heehee! We sure are! But it’s not water in these guns...

You ready!?

Always!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

*SPLASH!* *SPLASH!* *SQUIRT!*

Soldier: Wah-!?

!!?

*Hina and Hunter start shooting the water guns in every direction they can. But what comes out of the nossel isn’t water. Instead, ink squirts out of the cannon, and douses the invisible soldiers, making them visible.

Worked like a charm!

Now let’s get ‘em!

*Hunter and Hina pose, and then continue to douse as many enemies as they can in the ink.

[mewtagen-mau]

Entry 4

We have continued our work around town, our investigating, and my preparations for whatever upcoming scuffle we may be so unfortunate as to find ourselves in.

One day when Tabot was on his way out to help at the local archives where he’s been volunteering, he ran into Vin Vinder’s daughter, Shayliss. I’d heard rumors around town about her older sister, Katrine, but I can’t say I’m terribly familiar with the younger Vinder daughter. Shayliss asked Tabot to come back to the shop with her—alone—to help sort out a rat problem. She was insistent that the problem wasn’t large enough to warrant anymore than a single strong Paladin to clear out. I think we all began to see that actual picture unfolding.

Tabot began waxing poetic about his dead god, and it didn’t take long for all interest to die in Shayliss’ eyes. She told him she’d just set some traps or something, and left. From how Nanel spoke afterwards it sounds as though Tabot navigated a delicate situation—apparently angering the young lady would have put us on the wrong end of some vicious gossip ourselves. So her deciding to back off on her own was the best outcome possible.

Later, Sheriff Hemlock introduced us to an elven woman named Shalelu who had made a career out of hunting goblins in the area. She knew more about goblins than anyone around. She’d taken notice of their unusual movements lately, and was here to help how she could. For now that meant giving us every little bit of advice and information she had on the goblin tribes in the area.

Here is what I learned: There are five major goblin tribes: the Birdcruncher goblins (closest to Sandpoint, usually least aggressive), the Licktoad goblins (from the Brinestump Marsh, good swimmers), the Seven Tooth goblins (use junk to make difficult to pierce armor), the Mosswood goblins (the largest tribe, only held back by internal feuding), and the Thistletop goblins (located on an island shaped like a decapitated head).

From these tribes there are a handful of particularly notable goblins called the Goblin Heroes—Big Gugmut (an unusually large strong goblin), Koruvus (a currently-missing goblin who uses a longsword sized for a human), Vorka (a goblin who cannibalizes the Licktoad tribe), Rendwattle Gutwad (chief of the Brinestump goblins—said to never leave his throne), Ripnugget (leader of the Thistletop goblins), and Bruthasmus (a bugbear who has made sport out of killing elves—he and Shelalu have a personal vendetta against each other).

Shelalu should be staying in town for a bit, and she’s staying in the Rusty Dragon as well, so we should be seeing her around more.

The next day, we were approached by a familiar face. An unfortunately familiar face, one could argue. One Aldern Foxglove—who had not, as it turns out, forgotten that we’d saved his life during the goblin attacks. And who had decided that an appropriate means of thanks for said life saving was to take us on a wild boar hunt.

Yes, because when I think of rewards for dangerous undertakings, I think of cutting down equally dangerous wild animals in the middle of the woods hours from town with an untrained noble and his lackies.

Sarcasm very much intentional, I assure you.

Still, if we killed the boar then Ameiko would have boar meat to cook with. And then everyone wins, because Ameiko’s cooking is worth having a small scuffle with an oversized pig.

Tabot didn’t much want to go, but we managed to convince him with the argument above that it was for Ameiko, not for Aldern.

And thus we ended up on a far-too-long trip from Sandpoint to the Tickwood. In which Aldern Foxglove did not. Shut up. Once.

The only good thing about it is that he bought our horses. And like…actually bought them. For us. They’re ours now. I don’t even know what I’ll do with a horse. But I named her Morrigan II, and I can’t wait to see the look on Morri’s face when she finds out.

That. That’ll make it worth it all by itself.

Anyways, we made it to the Tickwood. Aldern and his flunkies broke off from our group and went in one way, while our little band went in another.

We had just made it into a clearing when there was a squeal. And a boar came charging from the tree line. Right at me.

I jumped back, my fur all on end, and it stopped its charge where I’d been a moment before.

We didn’t waste a moment, and went all in against the beast. I stuck to just my sword this time—didn’t want to ruin the meat by burning it or splashing chemicals on it, after all.

We felled the pig just as Aldern arrived, out of breath. He was shocked to see we’d already taken care of the boar, and didn’t need any help what-so-ever. Then he passed out.

Which, Shelyn bless us, meant we didn’t have to hear another word out of his mouth on the way back.

Ameiko roasted that boar to absolute perfection, along with a stew. It was another absolutely delicious dinner. And we got first picks since we hunted the beast. Worth it. Worth every moment. Even the annoying bits.

Unfortunately, our pleasant dinner was interrupted by a storm cloud. Said living storm cloud was Ameiko’s father, Lonjiku Kaijitsu. I’ve made mention of him once prior in this new journal—he was meant to give a speech at the Swallowtail Festival but couldn’t make it ‘because he was ill’. He didn’t strike me tonight as someone who was getting over even a mild cold.

Awfully convenient that he wasn’t at the festival when it was attacked.

Anyways, he burst in, ruining everyone’s festive mood, demanding to know where his daughter was. When no one pointed him in Ameiko’s direction, he came after us. He began ranting about how we shouldn’t have stuck our noses in the goblin attack, and more people got hurt because of us, and we should have let the professionals handle it. I pointed out—correctly—that no one got hurt in the area where we were wiping out the goblins. So any harm anyone came to was not on us.

Before he could make anymore ignorant accusations, Ameiko came out from the kitchens. She and her father began arguing in their native tongue. I slipped myself a Comprehend Language extract while they were distracted yelling at each other, so that I could catch some of what was being discussed.

Basically, Ameiko’s dad saw her running the inn as some sort of temporary pastime that she should quit because it was a blemish on their family name, and she needed to come with him and do something respectable. Ameiko obviously took offense to that seeing as she’s worked hard to run this inn and make the Rusty Dragon that best spot in town. She had some creative ways to say ‘no’ and ‘fuck off’. Her father went to grab her by the hair and drag her out. I think every one of us as the table went for our weapons, intent to stop him—but there was no need. Ameiko knocked him across the head with her ladle—breaking the ladle and splashing hot soup across his face and clothing.

Her father cursed her, and—in common so everyone could understand—he told her that she ‘was as dead to me as your mother’.

Because that doesn’t sound like a murder threat at all.

Then he stormed out. Ameiko tried to lighten the mood back up, joking about how she was going to need a new ladle. But it was clear she was shaken.

The others tried to talk Shelalu into going to talk to Ameiko—none-too-subtly hinting that they could tell she liked her. Which she clearly does, but I’m going to keep my nose to myself. That’s the sort of thing Morri or Keir would have fun poking at.

Anyways, end result was Shelalu got embarrassed, drank way too much, and passed out.

After we got Shelalu somewhat comfortable, I shared my theory with the others—that perhaps Lonjitsu was the one behind the goblin attacks. The others agreed that it all added up.

We’ve decided that tomorrow we will investigate the glassworks and his manor, and find out just what he’s been up to.

[kkusuka]

HELLO HOW DO U FEEL ABOUT MILFS AND DILFS

oh man, here we go-

disclaimer!!- my feelings towards these people have nothing to do with their cannon actions, it is simply based on how much i want them to step on me!

also, if you think i forgot someone, let me know! i am always up for dilf/milf conversations!!!

(all photos are form either the manga or cannon animation<3)

the dilfs<3

there are so many of them so these are just a few, lol

toji fishiguro<3

this man makes my pussy leak.

take a second and look at him, google this man, it send me into shock every time without fail

(ignore the worm that i am most definitely not jealous of, definitely not, never)

idk if it’s the scar on his lip, but HIS SMIRK

ahem, back to the dilf-ing

you can’t tell me he wouldn’t domestically abuse your holes

this man would give you the dicking of your life then let you sleep alone and i’d let him

and if you pretend he didn’t forget his own sons name, he’s a pretty decent guy!

jk, lol

unfortunately, he has some cons:

would not remember your name

cares more about money than you

would leave you in the dust the second something came along

overall, 10/10

would do again, def recommend

(pro tip! if you shift into jjk and get to fuck him, you can convince yourself that you aren’t forever alone!) deff not a personal experience

enji todoroki<3

pls don’t kill me

have you seen his thighs?

and/or his titties?

i’d let him suffocate me in either of them

plus i think he’s grown out of the whole misogynistic/ sexist front so there’s that too

 and there is no way this man is 6’4 and doesn’t have a magnum dong

he’d wreck my pussy them ask me to get palates for him, and i would

and his whole breeding kink thing, definitely into that

overall: 7/10

y’know the five kids thing, that’s a lot

ukai keishin<3

this is understandable

not technically a dilf, but accepted in the community as the technical team father and i’m good with that

how could anyone pass up being fucked on the counter of his shop, exactly, you can’t

in real time, right now, he’s 32

so he definitely has some experience, he knows where the clit is

this man tears you like royalty in public then fuck the shot out of you when you get home

100% dilf material

(not that anyone was doubting it)

overall 9/10

i will never not think about being fucked over the store counter, never

ikkei ukai<3

JUST HEAR ME OUT

he knows where the clit it

and he still has a fair amount of stamina left in him

and he still has muscles, he could throw his grandson onto the floor sooooooo

seems unconventional, but he would be a good sugar daddy, no question

overall, 8/10

he’s definitely really sweet to you too

silver fullbuster<3

look at him

he has big strong arms

and abandoned his son, but that doesn’t matter

he is also a villain, but that doesn’t matter either

this man would dick you to the end of the earth then ask you what’s for dinner

plus, he has earrings which is an immediate pussy getter

and he has a really hot voice, like really really hot

overall: 9/10

he’s a total asshat, but definitely would rearrange my cunny

ryuuji azuma<3

he likes food

doesn’t gain weight

it all goes to his dick, that’s cannon

he also has a hot voice, and i would actually die if he called me a good girl

he’s like 31 so it’s not that bad and he used to be a swimmer so he has a hot body

i could go on and on about how much i want to do this guy

he has a blog to do real dad behavior!

overall: 8/10

i love this man, have a nice day!

the milfs<3

mitsuki bakugo<3

yup

hate to bring this up but: boobs

i feel like she would take good care of me too

she would let you wear the bakugou family matching slippers too

but you do have to deal with katsuki, sooooooooo

overall: 8/10

she’s just a regular, extremely attractive, milf

irene belserion<3

she’s a pretty bad person

but that makes her a perfect mistress, or maybe a dominatrix

lemmie tell you, i would be this woman’s submissive in a heartbeat

plus her thighs are out of this world

no but she would definitely treat you great, no objections

overall 9/10

she’s still sweating vengeance for things that happened 400 years ago but we can move past that

hoshiumi’s mom<3

i literally don’t know what to say about this woman other than i would let her use me as a step stool

thank you

midnight<3

i feel like this is self explanatory too

i would be her fuck toy

plain and simple

this was short, but it said a lot

overall: 10/10

i would let her do literally anything to me

[kdramaxoxo]

Hi im new to kdramas and I'm interested in a kdrama that is a romantic comedy and has a good ending any recommendations?

Welcome to K-dramas!

I'm so excited for you - you're gonna have the best time!

Before I select my favorite happy ending rom/coms, here are a couple of lists you might like:

Light & Fluffy K-Dramas with no Melodrama (Updated 10/2020)

Light & Fluffy K-Dramas & Web Dramas (Updated 10/2020)

Light and Fun Rom Coms with Happy Endings:

Below are some of my favorite rom/coms that I feel like everyone new to k-dramas should watch.

Fight for My Way: I love this drama! The couple is one of my OTPs and it’s really funny and a mostly lighthearted story of a group of friends. It’s down to earth and adorable - I’ve never had anyone complain about this one!

Shopping King Louie: Ridiculously fun and lighthearted romp following a spoiled and useless chaebol with amnesia who is being taken care of by a country bumpkin in the city. Very low stakes, super adorable couple, and as many tropes as you can fit in your bag, this one is one of my favorites to recommend.

The Best Hit / Hit The Top: A famous 90′s boyband dude travels into the future and meets up with his family and friends in this really cute drama featuring Yoon Shi Yoon. I LOVE Yoon Shi Yoon in pretty much everything but this role was made for him - he is hilarious. It’s a slice of life but features the k-pop music industry so the setting is unique.

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo: A K-drama fandom favorite! Adorable college romance about a female weightlifter and a super hot swimmer dude. I mean she’s hot too. Anyways, two cuties!

Oh My Ghostess: A shy withdrawn girl working at a restaurant possessed by a sassy ghost. Do I need to go on? There is a little bit of sad but for the most part it’s super fun.

Run On: I loved this slice of life drama about an athlete, a translator, a painter and a CEO so much that I have already rewatched it. This drama has so much to offer: Interesting and strong characters, a painter I’d die for and unique friendships. Did I mention there’s a legit ACE character? I mean... AMAZING.

Into The Ring: Seo Gong Myung is a hard nosed civil servant who ends up working with Goo Se Ra, one of my favorite ladies in a K-drama ever. She’s passionately ethical and into civil ordinance complaints (you read that right) which drives Gong Myung crazy, but like, in a “I’m definitely going to fall for you” type of way. This is a hilarious and heartfelt slice of life and I loved it.

Other Great K-drama Essentials I recommend to new viewers:

Coffee Prince: A classic (if 10 years old can be considered a classic) rom com with genderbending. It’s a great drama that really plays up the gay as much as a k-drama of it’s time really can and I loveeeed it so so much.

Healer: Everyone knows healer will always have my heart and it’s a super popular k-drama. Healer is played by Ji Chang Wook (swoon) and he gets involved with a feisty reporter played by Park Min Young (also swoon). It’s an action adventure with some very classic tropes: Rich people scandals, murders and hidden pasts. But it also has some of my favorite tropes: Beta Male Lead, childhood friends to lovers and traumatic pasts.

Extraordinary You/ A Day Found By Chance (fantasy/romance): This magical k-drama has my heart. It plays with all of the predictable tropes and then just goes crazy! While not perfect towards the end, I give this show bonus points for being super creative AND inspiring me to read a LOT of fan fic. I think about this drama more than any other.

Just Between Lovers (romance/melo): Slice of Life romance between poor trauma babies just trying to live! The OTP is one of my favorite couples EVER and even as the years go on, very few couples have matched their love in my opinion. There’s a lot of comfort/healing themes with for me is just *chef’s kiss.* Lee Junho became my bias wrecker because of that drama.

[albertasunrise]

A Problem Shared - Part 5

Masterlist

Summary: When Marcus is struck down with a sudden but serious illness, you both bond over shared ills.

Pairings: Marcus Pike x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose not to list any warnings. If you are easily triggered by health problems then do not read. (Sorry this took so long... busy busy and shiz... hope this was worth the wait.)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Bliss.

That's how you’d describe your life to anyone that asked you. Family life with Marcus was a dream come true for you.

Returning to work had been hard for you both but, you’d found a nanny who you both loved, and that made the hurt a little easier to bear.

His return to work was a gradual one, something you had been glad of. His team welcomed him back with a surprise party that had brought the man to tears and your heart had swelled at the support he received from every one of your colleagues.

Then at home, he was the perfect boyfriend. The perfect father. To put it in the simplest terms.

He was perfect.

“Someone’s ravenous this evening.” He chuckled as he fed Arabella, grinning at her as her eyes grew to this size of saucers and her legs kicked.

“Got an appetite… that’s for sure!” You chuckled as you emerged from the kitchen with two coffees in hand.

“I just can’t believe this is my life now.” He said, shaking his head a little in disbelief before locking eyes with you.

“Who’d have thought that out or something so terrible, would come something so wonderful.” You said, chuckling with him when Bella squeaked in agreement.

“Never thought I’d get this.” He confessed and your heart sank a little “After the divorce and Teresa I thought I was doomed to be alone… Then I got cancer and I thought, that’s it. I’m going to die never having the chance to be a father or-“

“You don’t need to dwell on that now.” You said, hushing him with your fingers on his lips “I love you and so does Bella! You finally have everything you deserve.”

His eyes widened at your confession and tears started to pool.

“You love me?” He asked, voice sounding so small and vulnerable that your heart ached at how insecure this man was.

“I do.” You replied, kissing him sweetly “I love you Marcus Pike.”

“I love you too.” He choked as he kissed you again before you both looked down at your daughter, soaking in the moment of bliss.

When Bella was finished eating. It was time for bath time and this was something you and Marcus treasured. Arabella lived for bath time and it was something the two of you loved to do together.

All these things that before, seemed like such a standard thing to do became so much more meaningful when you had a baby. Watching her smile and giggle as she gently washed her hair or how her legs would kick as she tried to splash the water. It was all so much more magical now.

“Reckon she’ll be a strong swimmer.” You chuckled as you watched your daughter wiggle in the water and Marcus nodded excitedly as he cooed over her.

“Definitely.” He said as he leaned over to kiss her brow.

“There was something I wanted to ask you about.” You said after a few blissful moments.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah… um… Well, Theresa’s in town next week.” You started and his brows rose in surprise at the sudden topic “She’s here for a deposition and she wanted to pop by. See you and the baby.”

“And you wanted to know if I’d be okay with that?” He asked and you nodded.

“I know that she hurt you… and that despite how everything is good now that some of that hurt remains but she was a real help to me when you were sick and I-“

“I hold no ill will against Theresa anymore.” He said plainly as he pulled Arabella out of the tub and into his arms “She was a support to you and that in my eyes is payment enough for what she did to me.”

“Seriously?”

“I moved too fast with her.” He said as he wrapped Bella in her towel “I know I was partly to blame for how things turned out between us but at the end of the day… We’re with the right people now and I think that’s the important thing to focus on.”

“That’s very mature of you Marcus.” You teased, kissing him sweetly as you watched him carefully dry and dress the daughter you shared.

“Well, I’m a daddy now.” He said softly as he grinned down at his baby “I need to be the bigger man.”

That’s how you found yourself three days later sitting at a table, smiling and laughing as Theresa rocked your infant daughter. Things had been a little tense at first. The last time Lisbon has seen Marcus, he was in a coma and facing almost certain death but now he was sitting there, wine in hand.

“She’s so perfect.” She gushes as Bella giggles in her arms “How are you both getting on? I understand you’ve gone back to work Marc?”

“Yeah.” He replied “It’s a, half in the office half from here, situation at the moment. Too long in the office and I get bone-tired.”

“He’s doing so well though.” You said sweetly, squeezing his hand affectionately “The team was over the moon to have him back.”

“All except Morris.” Marcus chuckled and you chortled at his statement.

“Yeah well, he was getting a little too comfy in your office I think.”

“The job was as good as his… let’s be honest.” Pike stated and your brows drew together “I was as good as dead.” He finished, shrugging and ignoring the sudden tension that settled over you all.

“How’s the wedding planning going?” You asked, desperate to change the subject and a smile spread across Theresa’s face.

“Good actually.” She replied, taking a sip of her wine before continuing “Janes’ actually really hands-on so he’s sorted most of it. We’ll be sending the invites out soon.” She squeaked and you chuckled at her excitement.

“How exciting.” You gushed and she beamed back at you.

“Yeah, I’m really excited.” She confessed and you gave her a soft smile “How about you twp?” She asked and your head jumped back “Think you’ll make an honest woman out of her soon Pike?”

“We’re in no rush.” He replied with a shrug “I mean, perhaps after my divorce and how things went with you it’s a sign that marriage isn’t for me.” He joked before grinning at his daughter who was gazing at him.

Your stomach sank at his statement but you didn’t let him see it. You’d be lying if you hadn’t pictured a wedding in your future. Arabella as your flower girl and just a select few there, sharing in your special day.

So to hear Marcus say that it’s unlikely you’ll ever get married. Well… that was a potential deal-breaker for you.

“Come on now.” Theresa pushed “You’re the most romantic guy I know.” She chuckled “You seriously telling me you don’t wanna get married to this lovely lady right here?”

“We don’t need to get married to prove we love each other… right babe?”

“Sure.” You replied plainly, suddenly in dire need to do something to distract you.

You decided that clearing up the dishes was your best and least suspicious bet. So you picked them up and carried them into the kitchen without a word.

Your distress at Pike’s statement had not escaped Lisbon and she watched you leave with a sympathetic expression. Glancing down at Arabella, she thought about what to say. She knew Marcus didn’t mean to be hurtful but that’s exactly what he’d done. He’d hurt you… and she couldn’t stand idly by.

“You’re a fool Pike.” She scoffed after a few moments, eyes drifting up to see his bemused expression.

“What?”

“That woman sat by your bedside for over half a year… watching you hang on the cusp of life and death. All the while, pregnant with your daughter who she then had to deliver alone!” She started, eyes burning into him “She’s been the one constant in your battle with your health and she deserves better than what you’re offering her. Have you ever asked her what she wants?”

“I…” He trailed off, unsure of how to respond to Theresa’s scolding.

“She’s given so much to you.”

“I know that.” He snapped back, careful to keep his voice down “I know that she has and I love her so much for it!…” He paused a moment, trying to find the words “I just don’t want to lose her!” He stated and it was Theresa’s turn to look confused “Every time I’ve taken then step… it’s gone up in smoke. My ex-wife… you!” Lisbon winced at that “I just… I don’t want to ruin things and it seems that marriage to me, ruins things.”

“Marcus-“

“It’s just better this way.” He interrupted “I love her and I’ll do all I can to show her that but I just don’t think I can risk this, us.”

Lisbon gave him a sympathetic smile, her eyes catching sight of you standing just outside the door. You’d heard his speech and your heart had broken for him. How his past failed relationships had scarred him so severely.

But you also weren’t sure you could give up your lifelong dream of getting married. It’s something you’ve wanted for as long as you could remember. You loved Marcus… with every fibre of your being, but could you stay with him knowing that you’d never get married. Never be his wife.

That, you weren’t sure of.

~

You tried to ignore the gnawing feeling inside of you that told you that this couldn’t continue. You didn’t want things to end… but you also couldn’t keep your doubts buried. You’d been nothing but selfless since this thing had started.

It was time to be selfish.

You were shaking as you sat at the kitchen table, awaiting Marcus’ return. It had taken a serious amount of strength to bring herself to pack those bags. One for you and one for Bella. You weren’t sure what you were going to say to him but you knew that when it came to it you would. So you sat there and you waited, hands clasped together in silent prayer.

Marcus walked through the door bang on six as he did every Friday. He greeted you with a smile and gave his baby girl a kiss on her brow as she slept. None the wiser to the conversation you were about to have with him.

“Everything okay?” He asked when he noticed you hadn’t moved from your seat.

“Can you sit a moment?” You asked and Marcus’ expression changed.

“Sure but why?” He asked, his confusion obvious “You’re freaking me out babe… what’s wrong?”

You were silent a few moments as you thought about how to start. You’d practised in front of the mirror all afternoon but now that you were here, what you’d pieced together didn’t seem to fit.

“I um… Well, I’ve been having some doubts.” You started, hands shaking as you tried to take a steadying breath.

“About?” He asked and you choked on a sob.

“Us.” You confessed and his shoulders dropped “I heard what you said about marriage and it makes me so sad that you feel that way but I want to get married, Marcus. I always have and despite how much I love you… I’m not willing to give that up.”

“Baby-“ You held your hand up to stop him, tears streaking down your cheeks as you speak.

“I saw a beautiful future for us, Marcus. Marriage… another baby perhaps, if were were lucky but now I know that the marriage part isn’t a possibility it’s all faded into nothingness.”

“We can still have a future sweetheart.” He sobbed but you shook your head.

“No, we can’t.” You replied simply “We might be okay at first but eventually I’ll end up resenting you for the fact I never got the one thing I always dreamed of.”

“What about Arabella?” He pushed “Is she not enough?”

“Don’t.” You warned, growing angry at him for using your daughter against you “I’m going to stay with a friend until I find an apartment. We’ll work out a schedule for you to see Bella.” You said as you pushed yourself to your feet and padded across the apartment to grab your things.

“Baby please.” Marcus pleaded “Don’t do this.”

You didn’t say anything.

There was nothing left to say. You simple gathered the bags you packed and grabbed Arabella, placing her in her pram before turning to look at the weeping man who stood across from you.

“I’ll be by in a few days to grab the rest of mine and Bella’s things.” You said plainly, heart breaking at the sight of Marcus sobbing “See you later Marcus.”

You turned and left, making it to the lift before he caught up with you.

“Please…” He pleaded as he stopped the doors closing with his hands “Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m sorry Marcus but this is for the best.” You said, standing your ground “I love you but I need to do this for myself…” You paused, eyes drifting down to Bella who was still sound asleep “I don’t want to hate you… and this is the only way that won’t happen.”

His arms dropped to his sides as his expression morphed to one you struggled to read. Shock? Hurt? Grief? Perhaps a mixture of all three but as the doors closed, they all morphed into one that was plain as day.

Regret.

~

2 months later…

It had been difficult building a regime that worked for you both. Things were understandably tense between you both but you had agreed that you needed to make it work for Arabella’s sake. So not he had her two nights a week and every other weekend. It wasn’t ideal but it worked and that was the main thing. You knew she needed time with him as much as she needed time with you so you had to swallow him much you hated all of this.

It was your decision to leave.

At work, things were a little harder. Marcus was, after all, your superior but never once did he hold that over you. People at work knew you’d broken up and yet the questions about where it had gone wrong never came. You assumed that was Pike’s doing. Telling people that things were over but not to ask. It was the sort of thing he would do and you appreciated it because despite your reasons for ending things. You missed him like crazy.

Marcus was suffering from his own internal struggle.

He wasn’t coping well with everything. He’d lost his appetite, couldn’t sleep and when he did, it was plagued with nightmares of you walking away from him. His only peace was when Bella was with him. Her smiles warming his frozen soul a while but when he handed her back. He was back to suffering in silence. He’d put on weight despite his lack of appetite and that in itself was making him miserable. His back ached, although not as bad as when he’d had cancer and he felt run down all the time.

He’d put it down to his circumstance.

His patience wore out though when he came down with a cold he couldn’t seem to shake. He started to wonder if this was his punishment for pushing you away. He’d certainly hated himself from the moment you’d walked out of his front door but this seemed like it was more fitting. Despite how rotten he felt though he still went to work. He ignored everyone's pleas for him to go home and rest, to see a doctor. He needed to work, it was all he had left and laying in bed was going to lead to dwelling and he did enough of that alone in the evenings.

That morning had started as normally as all the others. He made his coffee, read his emails then entered the briefing room to listen to his senior agents as they told him what was going on with their cases. You sat there beside your boss as you always did. Eyes never leaving the board across from you but Marcus couldn’t stop glancing at you. Wishing you’d look at him too.

When the dizziness had hit him, so had a sense of Deja Vu. He’d not quite passed out this time but he’d certainly collapsed and everyone swarmed him this time. No one hesitated.

“I’m okay.” He assured them all as he held one hand up as the other held him up “This cold’s just kicking my ass I guess.”

“Go home, sir.” Pleaded one of his agents and he nodded.

Perhaps that was for the best.

…

Your stomach had sunk the moment he hit the floor and your mind started to race as potential reasons for why he’d collapsed swarmed your brain. One particular scenario screamed out to you though and it made you feel sick just thinking about it.

Had his cancer come back?

He’d agreed to go home and rest and that had brought you some relief but you wished he’d see a doctor. You thought about whether you should tell him to but then your remembered you’d left him, so you had no right to ask him to do anything. You watched him leave and longed to go after him. To check-in and see how he was doing… but you didn’t.

Because you left.

So in the days that followed you kept a careful eye on him. He seemed a little better but then he was good at hiding himself from the world. Since you’d broken up, you’d been unable to see whether he was affected by it at all as he seemed to keep all his emotions locked away from view.

So you hadn’t been able to help you worry when he didn’t turn up to work. It was unlike him to just not come in and when you learned that he’d not called in either your worry grew tenfold. Then that afternoon you received a call that had torn a scream from you. Drawing everyone’s attention to your small little cubicle.

Marcus was in the hospital… It wasn’t good.

You’d ignored everyone's stares as you raced to your car. Throwing on the lights in order to get yourself to the hospital as quickly as you could. Upon arrival you threw your car into a space and raced to the ICU, pleading for someone to tell you where Marcus was. To tell you what was wrong… and when his doctor found you. The news tore you in two.

“He’s rejecting his kidney.” The doctor stated simply “It’s acute which means that without a transplant-“

“He’ll die.” You choked and the doctor nodded grimly “Take mine.” You stated, back straightening as you looked the doctor squarely in the eye.

“I-“

“You wouldn’t let me last time because I was pregnant.” You interrupted “Well I’m not now and I want to do this.”

“This is a huge decision.”

“It’s a simple decision.” You replied plainly.

“We’ll need to do a few tests first to ensure you’re a viable donor.” He stated and you nodded “Do what you need to do.”

…

They took some bloods and assured you that they’d rush the results through. Time was of the essence after all. Then you finally, after pacing the halls a little while, went to see Marcus and what greeted you made you sob. He was hooked up to one machine that you recognised well, a machine you knew was doing what his kidney could not right now. To say he was surprised to see you was an understatement, his eyes growing to the size of saucers as they filled with tears.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, his voice so small you almost missed his question.

“The hospital called.” You replied, “I guess I’m still your emergency contact.”

“Right.” He replied, eyes drifting down.

“Doctor told me that your body’s rejecting the Kidney.” You stated and he nodded numbly “They’re running some tests now but I volunteered to donate one of mine.”

This pulled his attention back to you instantly and he shook his head as tears spilt from his lids.

“No you can’t… it’s…” He choked on his words as he tried to find the right ones “That’s too much.” He sobbed “You’ve given me enough.”

‘Without it, you’re going to die Marcus.” You argued, “This isn’t about anything more than saving your life.”

A knock at the door pulled yours and Marcus’ gaze to the doorway where his doctor stood with a slip of paper in his hands.

“I have your results.” He stated.

“That was quick.” You huffed and he nodded before continuing.

“Yes… Well.” He paused a moment and you knew at that moment that it wasn’t good news “You won’t be able to donate your kidney.” He stated and your stomach sank.

“Why the hell not?” You snapped and he sighed.

“Because you’re pregnant again.”

Next

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[conscious-love]

The Foolproof Way to Know You Are Lovable

By Rachel Cole

When I was in graduate school one of my assigned texts was Emotional Alchemy by Tara Bennett-Goleman. In it, Bennett-Goleman, offers up a way for us to work with our maladaptive thought patterns which she calls “schemas.” Among the schemas she identifies are:

Deprivation: “the belief that one’s needs won’t be met.”

Subjugation: “the belief that in an intimate relationship one’s own needs never take priority.”

Mistrust: “people can’t be trusted.”

Unlovability: “the sense of being somehow flawed and unworthy of being loved.”

She says “The paradox is that schemas revolve around compelling needs but lead us to think and act in ways that keep those needs from being fulfilled.”

When I read about the unlovability schema it was like I was reading about me — like she was writing just for me. At that point I’d spent most of my life with a deep, yet vague, belief that I was unlovable. Despite growing up in a loving two-parent home. Despite self-identifying as a strong, self-assured, smart woman. Despite the fact that many people loved me… I felt, at my core, unlovable, not enough, and that I was too much.

Little did I know then that most other people, at least in the Western world, shared my predicament.

Is this you too?

If it is, I want you to know that it’s entirely possible to wake up from this illusion and it doesn’t have to take a lifetime. I use the term illusion because that’s what it is – a mirage that looks and feels as real as real can be, and yet it’s a trick of the eye. You can come to know beyond all truths that you need not change one thing about yourself to be worthy of love.

Here’s how I did it:

I fiercely practiced loving myself. Every day. When it was hard. When it was easy. With teachers. On my own. When I was skinny. When I wasn’t skinny. When I was single. When I was partnered. When I was employed. When I was unemployed. When I felt radiant. When I felt wretched. I committed to opening my heart to myself through it all.

“Once upon a time a girl prayed for true love. Her prayer was answered. She learned to love herself.” - Monique Duval

It wasn’t overnight. It wasn’t the result of one healer or one book.

It was cumulative the way that Michael Phelps became a gold medal swimmer not in one summer, but over countless hours in the pool over many years.

So, how does loving ourselves show us that we’re lovable by others?

Because if we can love ourselves, it goes without saying that someone else can.

If we don’t love ourselves, how can we possibly trust that another can?

It’s like a mathematical proof. If X is true then Y must also be true.

X is whether we love ourselves unconditionally.

Y is whether another can love us this way.

If X is true then Y must also be true.

Similarly, I believe it defies the laws of physics for a person to be simultaneously not enough and too much. I realized at some point that I couldn’t be both and that’s how I knew what I felt was a misconception.

On a recent episode of Oprah’s Lifeclass Martha Beck wisely shared that “the most judgmental thing you think about the thing you’re most ashamed of is the lie that is most holding you back… Find the place where you are most ashamed… Opposite of that statement is the best truth for setting you free now.”

Back then my most judgemental belief was that I wasn’t lovable. The thing I was most ashamed of was my ‘not enoughness/too muchness’.

It wasn’t true. Not then. Not ever. So I set about setting myself free.

Do not wait for another to show you that you are enough. You will die waiting. It will never, ever, ever work. When we look to another for confirmation of our own enoughness, there will always be uncertainty in the back of our minds. We can never trust another’s love if our own foundation is shaky.

I like to think that this is fantastic news!

While we don’t have control over others, we do have domain over ourselves and our lives. We can commit to this practice. We can live ourselves into the awakening and awareness of our innate lovabilty and enoughness. This is also fantastic news because experience shows us that people treat us like we treat ourselves.

A final note on how I define love:

In this world there is big love (not of the HBO polygamy variety) and there is small love. Big love is ever expansive, making room for all that arises. Big love is unconditional. Big love is that of a mother to her newborn baby. Big love receives life and us with open arms. Small love, which we see and experience all too often, lives on the surface. Small love likes it when things go it’s way and moves on when things don’t. Small love has an agenda and a host of preconceived ideas about how things (and you) should be.

When I talk about loving ourselves, I’m talking about big love.

How do I know beyond a doubt that I’m lovable? Because I love myself. Therefore it must be possible.

Want to know if you’re lovable? Set about proving it to yourself from within. Start now.

[headaching]

titanic au solely because the sheer prospect of that is making me go insane

this au lives in my head rent free. tw attempted suicide

Finally, Zuko reached the upper deck he visited earlier that day. Taken with the never ending sea, his frenetic movements slowed as he unlocked the final gate and descended the stairs. Deliberately, he approached the barrier between the ship and the ocean, his gaze fixed only on the waves.

Looking off the ledge, it might as well have been the edge of the universe. The water resembled a black hole, endless and final. Without breaking his gaze from the water, Zuko pulled himself onto the railing, with each foot on the lowest rung.

The wind was comforting against his back, and for a moment, Zuko closed his eyes to enjoy the breeze. His labored breaths stilled along with the steady stream of tears flowing down his cheeks.

Here, everything seemed so calm; this ship was a mechanism in which all parts worked together. He thought of his body and mind, breakable and disjointed in comparison. The ship felt nothing, and if he toppled over the edge, it would continue chugging along through the sea as if nothing happened.

The crushing anxiety of his present situation with his father clutched at his chest again, and Zuko opened his eyes to look down at the railing. In one steady motion, Zuko climbed over it completely and rested his legs against the front of the barrier. The engine of the ship was louder and admittedly more threatening from this new vantage point. Zuko watched the propellors cycle through the water over and over.

Zuko was entranced by the possibility of disappearing with one deliberate move no one would know was intentional. There would be a search party for him once they realized he had gone missing, which of course would turn up nothing, and the conclusion that Zuko simply fell over the edge on accident would appease them. Azula would be next in line for Fire Lord. Ozai would blame him for being so incompetent.

They would forget about him, and all Zuko had to do was let go.

“Don’t,” a gentle, but demanding voice said not far behind him. Zuko gripped the ledge tighter as he craned his neck to see who the voice belonged to. It was the beautiful man Zuko spotted earlier that day openly staring at him on this very deck. Zuko blinked rapidly as he attempted to make sense of how the stranger could have looked any better up close than he did from far away.

Not him, Zuko thought as he flinched his face away, Not now. Aloud, Zuko asked, “Don’t what?” tearfully, and immediately regretted it.

“Don’t jump,” he replied plainly. Zuko swallowed, though his mouth was dry.

“Maybe I will,” Zuko snarled at the complete stranger. Feeling vindictive, he added, “Don’t tell me what to do.” To his annoyance, the man laughed, a cheery and sarcastic sound.

“Buddy, I hate to break it to you,” he said as he made a couple strides toward Zuko, “but when you’re being talked off a ledge, you don’t get to make the rules.”

“You aren’t talking me off the ledge,” Zuko insisted, trying to focus back on the water. “You’re annoying me.” The mystery man laughed again, and Zuko pursed his lips.

“C’mon. Take my hand,” he instructed with another step toward Zuko and his arm outstretched. Zuko shook his head stubbornly.

“No,” he yelled over the incessant warble of moving water beneath him. The man shook his head and crossed his arms.

The stranger asked in contempt, “You expect me to believe you’re…what? Standing there for the view?”

“I don’t expect you to believe anything; I expect you to mind your business,” Zuko replied through gritted teeth.

“This is my business.” Zuko looked over at him to find the deepest blue eyes he’d ever seen watching his every move. The man shrugged. “I’m involved now.” Zuko groaned and shook his head. He couldn’t even die his own way.

The man began unlacing his boots, to Zuko’s bewilderment. “What are you doing?”

“If you actually do this—”

“I am doing this,” Zuko asserted.

“Then why haven’t you?” In the ensuing silence, the man took off his jacket, never taking his eyes off Zuko. “Seriously, if you really wanted to, why haven’t you jumped?”

“Because you won’t leave me alone,” Zuko answered eventually, though it didn’t sound as confident as he intended. The man shook his head.

“If you do jump, I’m gonna jump in after you,” the stranger replied matter-of-factly.

“What?” Zuko asked in shock. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’d die.”

“I disagree.”

“You…disagree?” Zuko sputtered.

“I’m sure it would hurt like hell,” the stranger shrugged, “but I’m a good swimmer.” Zuko laughed shrilly. “The swimming isn’t what I’d be worried about, though; it’s the cold that really gets you.” Zuko inadvertently shivered with another glance at the water.

“Cold?” Zuko cursed himself for asking, and for the obvious fear in his voice. The man nodded gravely. “How cold, exactly?”

“Cold enough,” he replied solemnly. “I grew up in the Southern Water Tribe, and take it from me, you don’t want to find out exactly how cold it is.”

“The South Pole,” Zuko said, and the man nodded.

“Have you ever been?” Zuko shook his head. “One wrong move on ice too thin, and you’re a goner. I fell in once, and it felt like a thousand swords piercing every part of my body.” The stranger’s tone was grave, his face even more dire.

Zuko exhaled slowly through his nose. He stood a little straighter, held onto the railing a little tighter. The man approached Zuko’s side with his hands on his hips and continued, “That’s why I’m hoping you’ll spare me from having to jump in and save you.” Zuko glared at him.

“I don’t need saving,” Zuko griped. The stranger smiled, and Zuko ignored how perfect it seemed to be by staring back at the water.

The man leaned in and said softly, “With all due respect, sir, you’re hanging off the side of the boat.” Zuko fought the urge to meet the stranger’s eye contact, but failed when the man’s open palm skirted into view. He wiggled his fingers, and when Zuko turned his head, he found urgency in the man’s face.

“Please don’t do this,” the man whispered earnestly. “You jump, I jump.”

Zuko sighed, and with a singular nod, he accepted the man’s offer. His hand was warm, Zuko noted, and he swore he felt an encouraging squeeze. They were close together, with the stranger’s chest pressed against his back.

Slowly, Zuko turned around one foot at a time, until they were face to face. Zuko let out a shaky sigh as he held the man’s other hand, too. The stranger sighed in relief, and with another mystifying smile, he said, “I’m Sokka.”

Sokka.

A blush crept up Zuko’s neck as he internally recognized how beautiful the name was. Sokka eyed him with an odd expression. “Zuko,” he finally replied, and an uneasy warmth engulfed him when Sokka grinned.

“I know,” Sokka said quickly, then a flash of panic overtook his eyes, which glanced away from Zuko. He continued, “I mean, I know because you’re kind of a big deal around here.” For a reason he couldn’t place, Sokka’s sudden sheepishness made Zuko smile. “Not to me, I just heard about you from other people.”

“Sokka,” Zuko said bemusedly, daring to grip Sokka’s hands tighter. Sokka met his eyes, and he smiled too, closed-mouth and lopsided.

“Sorry,” he breathed. “Let’s get you over.”

Zuko nodded in agreement. He lifted a foot to step onto the next rung of the railing, but just as he shifted his weight, his heart dropped with the rest of him. With one blink of an eye, Zuko was dangling off the ship, and the only thing tethering him to safety was Sokka’s hands gripping his wrist. Time crept on at a dangerous pace.

Zuko screamed, “Sokka! Help!” over and over as his legs swung beneath him. His vision blurred, but he could still make out Sokka above him, and the upper half of his body hanging off the side of the ship. His hair fell forward and framed his face, and when Zuko squinted, he saw horror overtaking Sokka’s wide eyes.

“Hold on!” Sokka instructed, his voice full of command. He yanked Zuko up enough so he could grab at the railing with his free hand, but when Zuko tried, he just slipped farther toward his imminent death. Zuko looked down, and the water didn’t seem so comforting.

Zuko gasped and screamed again. It seemed to fill the sky, discordant and loud. His dangling hand reached for the railing again, sweaty fingers searching for a grip, but steel only greeted him. A glance upward revealed Sokka, his body doubled over the barrier, his eyes closed in concentration, holding onto Zuko with all his might.

“Sokka,” Zuko yelled over the crashing water. Piercing blue eyes opened under a furrowed brow and stared straight through him. “I don’t want to die.”

“You’re not gonna die,” Sokka dismissed defiantly. “I’m right here. I won’t let go,” he promised. “You have to pull yourself up.”

The words made sense to Zuko, but his arms felt useless. He peered down again against his better judgment, and only then did he realize he was crying. “You fall, I fall,” Sokka said almost too quietly to hear. An obnoxious thumping sound surrounded him, and numbly, Zuko recognized it as his rapid heartbeat.

Now or never, Zuko told himself. With all his strength, Zuko managed to anchor himself back onto the railing using Sokka’s firm grip. As soon as Zuko had a solid hold on the barrier, Sokka’s hands snaked around his waist, leaving Zuko’s arms to rest around his shoulders.

Finally, Zuko’s back slammed into the deck of the ship. Sokka’s strong arms remained locked around him, and he blushed when he noticed their hips were pressed together. They both breathed heavily, and Zuko’s arms trembled at his sides. Their faces were close, probably too close, Zuko thought, but Sokka stayed still. He brushed a few strands of hair away from Zuko’s face with gentle fingertips.

“Are you okay?” Sokka asked carefully. Zuko opened his mouth to reply, but his throat seized and only allowed whistles of breath to escape. He searched the sky like he might find his answer in the stars.

send me the title of a wip for an excerpt!

[themadlostgirl]

Abandoned (7)

*Peter’s turn to be a jealous walnut.*

~~~

Peter and I sat on the beach tangled together. The soft kisses we had shared turning ravenous and hungry. Peter was barely giving me time to breathe before pressing his mouth back against mine. His hands never stopped either. They went from resting on my face to tangled in my hair gliding up and down my body. Pushing and pulling us closer until the heat between us was unbearable.

“Peter,” I gasped, finally catching moment to breathe. “I need to--” My words broke off into incoherency as he started lavishing kisses along my neck and jaw.

“I’m still mad at you for giving away my dress you know.” I was finally able to blurt out. He sucked hard on my pulse in response.

“Then I suppose I’ll have to make it up to you.” I could feel him grinning against my neck and continued his assault on my throat. Little whines escaped me and it only spurned him on more.

“By the stars, you’re fantastic,” He breathed out, peppering kisses down lower. Shucking my collar open to kiss along my collarbone and shoulder. “So warm, so soft, and all mine.”

You’re so soft. Like a little kitten. A hoarse voiced doused me in cold water like a tidal wave sweeping me out to sea. Won’t you purr for me little kitten?

“My pearl,” Peter gazed at me. I had gone stiff in his arms and my breathing was shallow and rapid. “What’s wrong?”

“I--I--” My body was shaking. I closed my eyes. Get out! Get out of my head!

Peter said my name, gently pulling me down to rest against him. Hushing me and banishing my worries away. “What’s wrong, my pearl? What’s gotten you so worked up? Was I being too forceful?”

“I--” The words were caught in my throat. I didn’t know how to describe it. Where the voice had even come from. Thankfully I was saved from having to explain at the appearance of Wendy Darling once again. The only time I looked upon her in thanks.

“So sorry to intrude,” She said, her gaze sweeping between Peter and I. “I was worried after the both of you left camp. The boys said I shouldn’t follow unless I wanted to see a grisly sight but it only spurred me on more. I couldn’t bear the thought that she should be punished for something so silly as being angry over a dress. I see now though I needn’t worry about anything.”

“Indeed,” Peter said, “We just needed to have a private conversation. Isn’t that right, swordfish?”

He sighed when I didn’t speak. Still caught up too much in my own mind. “It’s been a stressful night.” He said. “My pet needs some rest now.”

“Of course,” Wendy sat a pile of blue velvet down on the ground. “I brought this back. I know you told me to keep it but I just couldn’t knowing it was never mine to take.”

“She’s so perfect it’s retching.” I muttered which made Peter chuckle.

“Would you like me to get rid of her?” Peter whispered. I nodded. “Anything my Lost Girl wants.”

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Peter’s shadow swooped down from the darkness and grabbed hold of Wendy Darling. She shrieked as she was suddenly lifted off the ground.

“What--” she kicked trying to get free, “What’s going on?”

“Apologies Wendy but you were only here for one reason and that reason is now fulfilled,” Peter squeezed me tighter. I gazed up at Wendy and saw something akin to disgust cross her perfect porcelain face. “What I need now though is a boy. One of your brothers will do quite nicely.”

“No!” Wendy screamed, “Not my brothers!” She became wild. Flailing about trying to get free but the shadow never stirred.

“Take her back.” Peter ordered. The shadow took off into the night with Wendy in her nightgown screaming after them like an angry bird flying through the sky.

“Better?” Peter asked after she had disappeared.

“Yes,” The world felt lighter. I let out a yawn and rested my head on Peter’s shoulder. “Tired though.”

“You should get some rest then.” Peter gently pushed me off his lap.

“Peter,” I grabbed his hand to keep him from leaving, “Can you stay with me tonight? Just until I fall asleep.”

He nodded and joined me inside my hut. I laid down and Peter laid down next to me. The both of us laid there stiff as boards staring up at the ceiling of my hut. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and turned on my side, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him close. Peter let out a sigh of relief and held me, smoothing my hair and humming in my ear. “Sleep now, precious.”

I did. I slept soundly. No dreams to plague me. No cold to chill me. Just Peter’s arms and his voice lulling me into peace. When I woke up the next morning he was still there. Face inches from mine. The world was so still around us. It was as if the island was waiting for it’s master to awaken before it did. I closed my eyes again and tucked my head under his chin.

I felt the soft press of lips to the top of my head. “Good morning, sleep well?” Peter’s voice was groggy and hushed.

“Very well,” I yawned, “You didn’t have to stay you know.”

“I had a pretty girl in my arms, I wasn’t about to leave that for a camp full of rowdy boys.” He chuckled low in his chest so that it rumbled against my cheek.

“I’m glad you stayed. Reminded me that what happened last night was real. It wasn’t just a dream.”

“Does that make me a dream come true, swordfish?” he teased.

“You’re bloody nightmare most of the time, to be honest. But you have your moments. Like last night and this morning isn’t too bad either. But I think I’m gonna continue to be pissed about how your grand plan to make me admit my feelings was to make me jealous. I am still pretty angry about that even if it did end up working out for you.”

“Good thing I have an eternity to make it up to you. Now that Wendy is gone I can focus all my attention on you.”

“Oh gods no,” I groaned, “I’m never gonna get you to leave me alone now, aren’t I?”

“Afraid not, swordfish. But if you truly want me to leave you alone then I’ll be on my way.” He moved to sit up but I grabbed him and pulled him back down. “Now who’s the clingy one?”

“Shut up.” I kissed his cheek, “I want to stay in the bubble a little longer.”

Peter and I didn’t move from my camp all day. None of the boys came across us which was nice. Judging by what Wendy said last night it sounded like the boys thought Peter had taken me away to maim me. Maybe they were avoiding this part of the beach so they didn’t have to see the ghastly sight of my mutilated body. Or maybe it was Peter’s magic that kept anyone from coming near us. Either way it was nice to just have this part of the island to ourselves. No places to be and nothing or no one to worry about.

Peter changed my dress back but I had lost my appeal for it after Wendy wore it. It looked as if it had been made for her when she had it on. “Then I suppose I should make it more suiting to your tastes. Pretty as this may be it doesn’t very much reflect you.”

“That’s kinda the point. It’s meant to be pretty.”

“And you are beautiful. It should be equally as beautiful.” He stood up and unfurled the dress. In a flash of green light my blue dress was gone replaced with one of blood red. “Well go on, try it on.”

I took the dress and ducked into my hut, drawing the little curtain in front of the doorway for privacy. “You better not peak!”

“No fun at all,” he muttered but complied. The dress was velvet as before but the lace was gone as well as the puffed sleeves. The straps hung off my shoulders leaving them bare. The only problem was that the back of the dress now had buttons and I was finding it extremely difficult to get them buttoned by myself.

I struggled for a few more minutes trying to get them but my fingers slipped of them as I couldn’t see what I was doing nor could my hands reach all of them. With a small sigh I exited the hut. Peter waited on the other side and his face lit up as he took me in. “Why such a dour face? I thought you’d like it.”

“I can’t get the back buttoned up,” I turned around, “Could you…”

“Of course,” He started slipping the buttons into the eyelets. When he was halfway up he planted a kiss between my shoulder blades that made my insides melt. He finished buttoning it and turned me around. “Perfect,”

I smoothed my hands along the skirt. “Now all I’m missing is a crown.” I joked. “It really is beautiful, Peter. Thank you.”

“Trust me, this is all for my viewing pleasure.” His gaze raked me up and down. “Now maybe I can finish that dance we started long ago.”

“I’d like that.” We fell into our dance and I laughed as Peter spun me around along the sand.

As night fell I knew that we couldn’t stay here forever. The boys were most likely wondering where Peter was and sooner or later would grow restless without him. Still I did not wish to let him go. I watched him disappear back into the jungle and sat down with a dreamy sigh. It had been a good day.

Out in the distance I noticed a speck of black moving across the dark blue sky. Peter’s shadow had returned and it had someone with him. My body tensed. I almost forgot that Peter had sent it back to take one of Wendy Darling’s brothers. The boy in its grasp struggled and fought until the shadow lost its grip and let the boy go. Down the boy plunged from the sky and into the water below.

Well that was a shame. Hope he can swim. I watched as the body flailed about in the water for a few minutes as they tried to make their way to shore. It wasn’t like they were all that far out. They could easily swim back. Then again they might not be a strong swimmer and the mermaids are another thing to worry about. Did they really deserve to die because they got scared? The shadow was swooping around in the air above the boy not bothering to get close again.

Damn me and my bleeding heart. I whistled and I could see the shadow’s bright eyes turn to me. I waved it over and is sped towards the shore. I could never quite get used to Peter’s shadow. It was an extension of himself so I hoped maybe it would listen to me. “Go pick up the boy,” I told it, “I know you can hold him. You dropped him in the water on purpose.”

The shadow got right in my face trying to intimidate me. I wasn’t its master. “I said, go!” I pointed out to the sea, “Do you think Peter will be happy that you let his newest recruit drown? Now fetch him!”

The shadow circled around me like a tornado before darting off back across the sea and grabbing the struggling boy. It dropped him unceremoniously on the ground by my camp and with another scathing look zipped off to its hollow. The boy was sputtering and coughing next to me.

“Pull yourself together, kid,” I nudged him lightly with my foot, “It was just a little dunk in the ocean, you’re fine.”

“Easy for you to say,” he fell into another fit of coughing, “It wasn’t you.”

“Please, I’ve fallen overboard plenty of times and in much rougher seas. Your little drop is nothing to be falling apart over.” I grabbed the back of his collar and hauled him up. “Now come on, we don’t have all night.”

“Get off me!” He shoved me away. “I’m not going anywhere with you!”

“Fine, get hunted down by Lost Boys. See if I care. If you go in that jungle you’re gonna get lost and end up killing yourself which I don’t think you want.”

“I’m resourceful,”

“Maybe where you’re from but this is Neverland. It’s a different kind of dangerous. So, you can either come with me or die.”

“What if I just stay here on the beach? You look like you’re not supposed to be here either or else you’d be with these Lost Boys you were talking about. Or is it that you’re not welcome cause you’re a girl?”

“That’s not it. I just don’t want to stay in a camp full of a bunch of loud, idiot boys. Reminds me too much of a place I left. You could stay on the beach, it is a lot safer, but I don’t think that’s much of an option for you.”

“Why?”

“Because Peter can sense when someone has either entered or left the realm. He already knows you’re here and he’ll come looking for you. If you don’t want to be caught by him then the beach is too open. So again your options are be hunted down or try to hide in the jungle where you will surely die by walking through a thicket of dreamshade. Your choice.”

“Who are you?”

“Who I am is irrelevant. Who are you?”

“Baelfire.” He answered.

“Hm,” I sat down and patted the sand next to me. “Sit Baelfire. It’ll be a while yet before Peter comes this way. Tell me about yourself.”

“I don’t think I should. You’re obviously not to be trusted.”

“Why? Because I’m telling you that your plans to run and hide are pointless? I’m only telling you from personal experience. I spent months trying to get off this island and avoid its inhabitants but it’s useless. Okay? There’s only one way out and I don’t think Peter is going to give that to you.”

“Peter Pan?” Baelfire asked.

“So you’ve heard of him. Did your sister tell you his name? Your perfect Wendy Darling?”

“She’s not my sister. She’s a friend. One who let me into her home when I had none.” Baelfire stared into the fire I had lit. “I left in her brother’s stead.”

“Ugh, you’re as annoyingly perfect as her.” I rolled my eyes.

“And no, I already know who that demon is. I met him a long time ago.”

“You did? Was it back when he was still doing his Pied Piper routine? I was still on the ship during those days but he told me about what he did. Now that I mention it, Peter did talk of a boy he wanted from back in those days. The son of someone powerful named Rumplestiltskin, better known as the Dark One. That wouldn’t happen to be you, would it?”

Baelfire remained silent. His body was tense as if he was ready to jump up and run at a moment’s notice.

“So you are,” A small snarl crackled in my throat. The Dark One, I don’t remember ever meeting him but I know that my father had a run in with him. I think the Dark One had killed my mother. I know he was the one that cut off my father’s hand. At least the man did one thing worthwhile.

“You have a grudge against my father as well?” Baelfire asked.

“Pretty sure he killed my mother and cut off my father’s hand.” I told him, “One thing I should hate him for and the other I should thank him for.”

“Do I want to know which is which?”

“If it was me I would have sliced out his heart instead of just his hand.”

“Seems we both have complicated father issues.”

“At least your father didn’t trade you away for freedom with absolutely no remorse.”

“You’d be surprised.” Baelfire gazed at me, “Papa chose his power over me and left me to fend for myself in a new world. That’s when the Darling’s took me in. So I can relate better than you think.”

“Fathers are the worst aren’t they?”

“They are.”

We shared a knowing look. It was the look of a pair of people who shared trauma. Betrayed by those that were supposed to protect us. Left to our own devices in a world we knew nothing about. It was uncomfortable how alike we were.

“I am going to regret this,” I huffed, “But you can stay here with me at my camp. It’s safe and the Lost Boys don’t come here. Peter will be by but you won’t have to go with him if I talk to him first. I promise.”

“Why the sudden charity?”

“Because you’ve obviously gone through a lot of shit and I’m in a really good mood. Tomorrow you’ll be on your own but the jungle is much less hazardous to trek in the day. You said you were resourceful and I believe you. You’ll find a place to hunker down just fine.”

“Thank you,”

“Don’t thank me yet. Peter still knows you’re here and I said I may be able to talk to him but that’s only considering that he’s in a good mood as well.”

“How right you are, Lost Girl.” Peter strode out of the jungle with the Lost Boys behind him. “But I’m afraid you miscalculated.”

“Peter--” I said but he held up a hand silencing me.

“I’ve waited a long time for this one,” Peter grinned devilishly, “You’re coming back to camp, Baelfire.”

“Over my dead body.” Baelfire spat at him.

“Boys! Enough!” I stood up between them. “I know you two have history but this isn’t a public affair. Send the boys back to camp.”

“You don’t give the order around here, spitfire.” he leaned in closer to whisper in my ear, “I think our day together made you forget who rules this island.”

“Well if you want me to keep being sweet on you then you’ll do as I say. Or else you’ll never get a taste of these lips or anything else ever again.” I whispered back.

“Big threats coming from the girl who practically begged me not to leave barely an hour ago.”

“But I can hold a grudge and I have no problem being by myself for days on end. You know that much.” I retorted. “Choose wisely, my dear.”

“Nasty girl,” Peter chuckled, “Seems you’ve cornered me this time.”

Peter stepped away and turned to the boys, ordering them to return to camp. Peter’s second in command was the only one who stayed. As easily as it was for Peter to get rid of the other boys it was much harder for him to excuse someone as loyal as Felix so I didn’t push it.

“He’s coming back to camp.” Peter said.

“No, he’s not. Not tonight at least.”

“Careful what you say, spitfire. My leniency only goes so far.”

“Twenty four hours,” I said, “You give him a twenty four hour period in which he can run and hide and only then can you and your boys go hunting for him. If you capture him then you can do what you want with him. Sound fair enough?”

“Now hold on!” Baelfire tried to cut in.

“Baelfire, I wouldn’t try that if I were you.” Peter glared at the boy, “So far her offer is sounding appealing and it is much more than you deserve. Are you trying to talk me out of it?”

Baelfire retreated, knowing it was pointless to try and argue for more. “Smart move,” Peter turned back to me, “This will be a new game for me and my boys to play. A few rules so everything’s fair. Rule number one, you can’t cover for him. He’s a big boy, he doesn’t need to go hiding behind your skirts. That also includes showing him around the island or giving him ideas on where to hide. Rule number two, if we do find him then you can’t object to any way that I treat him after he’s with us. Sound reasonable?”

“About as reasonable as I’m gonna get with you.” I sighed. “Fine.”

Peter nodded to Felix and the tall boy strode back into the jungle. Peter glanced at Baelfire then back at me. He looped an arm around me and steered me further away. “You’re coming back to camp with me.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t want him near you tonight. You’re staying with me.”

“He’s not gonna hurt me. I can take care of myself just fine, remember?” I patted the sword at my hip.

“Don’t care. You’re staying with me.” He growled, and tried to drag me with him.

“Hold on,” I stayed rooted in my spot, “Is it at all possible that you’re jealous?”

“What are you talking about? Of all the ridiculous--”

“You are! You’re not worried about Baelfire hurting me. You’re worried that he might like me.”

“I am not jealous. I don’t get jealous. I know there’s no way you’d choose an unworthy worm like him over me.”

“Spoken like a true jealous boy.”

“I am not!” Peter seethed. “I just don’t like the idea of him being so close to you while you’re sleeping. He may not be much but that doesn’t mean he won’t try to--”

“Peter,” I touched his face, “Look at me. Everything will be fine. You have nothing to worry about and you certainly have nothing to be jealous over. Understand?

“If that were true then why were you being so kind to him then? You’ve never been close to any of the Lost Boys before. Why this stranger?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it kind. I’m just empathetic. We have shared trauma.” I shrugged, “Betrayed by horrible fathers and all that. I see a little bit of myself in him.”

“When you say stuff like that it doesn’t exactly put me at ease.”

“Does it make you feel better if I say that I don’t find him attractive at all? He may be cute in a boyish way but you are the only one I’d ever let kiss me. Only one I’d ever want to touch me. The only one I know that can make me buckle at the knees with a single smile.”

“Damn right,” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I trust you. If he does try anything though I’m not playing any games and will kill him on sight.”

“It won’t end like that but I appreciate the sentiment.” I walked back over to my camp. Baelfire sat tracing his finger in the sand. “Twenty four hours, Peter. Starting now. No touching him until then.”

“Yes, yes,” Peter rolled his eyes. He looked at Baelfire. “Be glad my Lost Girl was here. Your fate could have ended quite differently.”

Baelfire scowled.

“And as for you,” Peter held me firm and kissed me hard. I forgot myself for a moment and let him continue on devouring me before he pulled back. A smug smile on his face, “Good night, spitfire.”

“Yeah, good night.” I watched him leave and turned around to face my audience.

“So when you said that you could talk to Pan…”

“It’s a recent development.” That was all the more that was said on the issue. We stayed up for a while longer as I gave him a few tips about trekking the jungle. The only time I’d be allowed to do so after tonight. Stay away from dreamshade thickets, don’t eat the blue colored berries, there is a section of the jungle that is just as dangerous in the day that is at night. Make sure you do not get caught stuck there or else it will be your demise.

Finally my eyes were growing heavy and I knew Baelfire needed to get to sleep too. He would need his energy for tomorrow when Peter’s game began.

An old song from long ago quietly echoing in my head. A stubbly smile gleaming down on me as he sang.

My young love said to me, ‘My mother won't mind and my father won't slight you for your lack of kind. And she stepped away from me, and this she did say, ‘It will not be long love till our wedding day.’

It was no surprise that I woke up crying.

---

(Previous) (Next)

[whump-town]

Hand In Unlovable Hand

While out on a case Hotch gets bitten by a rattlesnake, the team races to get him to medical attention before the situation turns fatal for their friend.

Warning: snakes / snake bites

Growing up, Aaron Hotchner’s father often bought his mother’s silence through small gifts. The brightest flowers he could find and spent hours in the Virginia heat planting them just where she liked in the garden. Every summer until it was some morbid tradition of theirs. He’d be woken early one Saturday by his father, his mother in her best summer dress, and they’d shop for these flowers until his mother was perfectly content. Eventually, the florist stopped regarding his oversized sweaters in the middle of June and he was thankful for their blissful chosen ignorance.

The price of these wondrous, well-loved flowers was blood. They were blood money and they paid adequately for her silence. His father never worried what Aaron might say, to whom he might speak up because he was never dumb enough to assume he could buy his son’s silence. But Aaron was always quick to stop fighting so long as Sean and his mother were left alone. So, he didn’t touch them and they remained, what appeared, to be the perfect family.

In the middle of his mother’s blooming garden, had been a pond. Aaron and his father had dragged up giant rocks from the creek. On those large rocks, he could lay for hours reading or writing or just thinking. Burning in the sun was always a better option than being stuck in that house.

Which is how he’d encountered his first snake. It was just a simple rat snake, not too bothered with Aaron. He got used to seeing the rat snakes around his mother’s ponds and in the mulch around her flowers. Comfortable enough that he’d been taken by complete surprise the first time he went to move one and it struck him. He hadn’t made a sound when it clamped down but it’d shaken him pretty good. The adrenaline folded him and he’d ended up puking.

That night he thought he’d die in his sleep so when he woke up the next morning he was surprised. Yeah, as it turns out, rat snacks aren’t venomous and he got much better at catching them and moving them. No more bites but it made an interesting story to tell in college so long as he left out the right details.

So, in other words, Aaron Hotchner’s understanding of snakes is minimal but more experienced than one might think. And that’s exactly why things went so wrong so quickly.

“Oh,” Rossi hisses as he looks down over the bank’s edge. “I’m not going down there.” He hooks his thumb into his belt loop and takes a step back. There’s more than just an air of finality in his conviction, it’s a certainty. No one can say anything that will guilt him down that hill.

Reid looks nervously to Hotch, then to Morgan. Waiting with that flickering uncertainty of his for someone else to speak up for him. Anxiety a striking pit viper in his stomach, slithering its way up his throat every second that passes. His knee aches from the idea alone of having to walk up or down that bank of the river they’re standing by.

“You can direct us from the bank,” Hotch excuses. He nods at Reid and without the words even having left his mouth, Reid knows he’s being allowed the sweet serenity of staying up here. “We don’t all need to go down. You’re free to stay on the bank, Reid.” That and maybe the rushing water below scares him a little. He’s not a strong swimmer and he’s fairly certain if he falls in no one’s swimming in after him.

(One, the water is not that deep but it is quick. Two, surely, someone would come in after him-- not Rossi, certainly not JJ, but maybe Hotch or Emily).

Morgan is entirely unenthused about the prospect of what awaits down that bank. It’s steep. It’s muddy. They have pictures of the scene, why can’t they just use the damn pictures. “Is going down there really worth breaking our necks?” Just because Hotch wants to play cowboy and get back into small-town roots doesn’t mean Morgan feels like slipping in this thick, clay-like mud and dying for the cause.

Prentiss comes up beside him, pinching at his side where his jeans come over his hips. “Aw,” she teases. “Morgan doesn’t want to get his shoes dirty.” She doesn’t hesitate to keep moving, edging down the bank after Hotch who is only a few hesitantly placed steps ahead.

Morgan rolls his eyes, why he lets himself be bullied by the likes of Prentiss he doesn’t know but it’s too late now and there’s no way he’s going to let her get the last say.

JJ may not have grown up in the south but she’s not going to let a silly little bank stop her. That is until she stumbles and she winds up crashing into Hotch. Who, by the way, is like a fucking brick wall. He doesn’t budge an inch and easily rights her back on her feet again like it’s nothing. “You’d be fine to stay on the bank,” he informs her softly.

She knows it’s not to undermine her decision so much as to assure her that she is not bound by anything to be stumbling down here. Morgan and Emily, maybe. Hotch needs dumb and dumber coming in with him but her part of the job doesn’t require it. Not that he really needs to tell her that. He never tells her what to do and she’s always appreciated that.

“I can’t leave you down here with those two,” JJ informs him. She nods her head behind them, to Prentiss and Morgan actively arguing and fumbling down the bank.

Hotch frowns at the two of them and grunts at JJ’s comment. Fair. He offers her his hand and she takes it gratefully. They both make it to the water’s edge without further incident. The same can’t be said for Morgan and Emily. When they get to the bottom, Morgan has mud up the side of his left leg. He slipped and ran it down the side of the bank. Emily’s hands are covered in it.

Emily shakes her head and comes to stand in between JJ and Hotch. She shakes her head when JJ raises an eyebrow in question at the sight of her smacking her hands together to get the mud off. “Morgan pushed me,” she informs her.

Which is a statement guaranteed to start an argument so Hotch moves the conversation on. “Getting down here takes a lot of work,” Hotch mumbles, moving a tree branch from his line of sight as he ventures a step further. “Definitely a local.” No one else is going to even consider this river as an option and no one else would try it. “Physically strong.”

Morgan huffs, “yeah, I’d say. It’d be nothing to break an ankle coming down that bank. You’d have to be confident to come down here at night and while carrying a body.”

Emily frowns, “carried?”

“No drag marks,” Hotch comments, squatting right where the water laps at the grass. He puts a hand down to steady himself, knees protesting this position, but he’s trying to see how murky the water is. Considering why it is that the Unsub had left his victim on the bank to be found when the water would have easily hidden the body for days. Maybe longer.

“Do you think he was hiding her? Going to come back?”

Hotch doesn’t need to look to know it’s Emily standing against his side. He nods, that’s the conclusion he was getting to. “He could have tied her down,” he motions to the water. “It’s a few feet deep there,” he motions to the section of murky water a little further out. The surface nearly still-- his mother’s old warning playing through his head: “still water runs deep”. He’s found it to be true a majority of the time. “If he was looking to dump the body we would have never found her.”

Emily turns from him, biting her lip. She doesn’t want that to bother her. All of it, she doesn’t want Hotch’s words to send a shiver of pain down her back. Her eyes still move up to JJ, her soft blonde strands of hair tucked up into her ponytail. She’s all Emily sees when she looks at this victim and she knows Hotch sees Haley.

The two of them are always a double-edged sword. Keeping up the mirage of being unfazed keeps professionalism but it creates this doubt. And, though she does the same, there’s a spark of curiosity that runs through her. How human can Hotch really be if he can do this job so well? It makes her sick to her stomach to doubt him like that. He’s the other half of her coin. Too different to be the same but too similar to separate.

“Ho--Hotch!?” All four of them look up, eyes searching above them until they find Reid and the single finger he points out far ahead of himself.

“Jesus Ch--”

“Don’t move.” Hotch is standing closest to it but JJ is right beside him. “It’s just a snake,” he sounds far calmer than he is. He knows two things for certain: (1) venomous snakes have a more triangular-shaped head and (2) this snake has a triangular-shaped head. Which doesn’t sound nearly as helpful now that’s he’s considering it.

Morgan has backed himself to the edge of the bank, as far as he can get from the snake (he’s snagged JJ up in his stumble back).

The snake swims towards them, wiggling in a hypnotizing back and forth sway.

“Ho—Hotch? Should—Should you really be doing that?”

Squatting down, Hotch gathers a large stone. One that spreads his fingers out as it rests in his palm and he doesn’t have small hands. “It's either a rattlesnake or a copper mouth,” he says with a certainty Emily finds odd. How would he know? But that doesn’t matter. What he knows for sure is that snakes don’t like being messed with and if he just splashes some water at this thing it’ll fuck off.

Emily is standing right beside him, enraptured enough to stay right where she is. Forcing her hands down at her sides and to not cower behind him. “Is one preferable?” She spent the majority of her childhood in Europe and her time here hasn’t been spent learning the types of snakes that live on this side of the coast. She doesn’t even know what a cottonmouth is (well she knows about getting cotton mouth from smoking but she senses that’s not what he means).

Hotch feels himself getting worked up, too emotional to aim properly. He’s a little scared. “A cottonmouth is more likely to bite,” he informs her. They’re aggressive little shits. “But a rattlesnake is more likely to kill.” He doesn’t see a rattle but he also doesn’t really know what he’s looking for.

“So we want the cottonmouth?” Emily touches his sleeve, needing something to ground her. 

“It's not a cottonmouth, is it?”

Hotch doesn’t comment. Swallowing thickly he tosses the rock, jumping when the snake jerks in the water and speeds up. It turns sharply and stops and though it’s farther away it’s not gone. It’s staring him down and, though, he’s not sure what it’s next move is he doesn’t want it to double back this way. He bends back down for another rock.

“Hotch!”

Oh. So that’s what a rattle looks like. Okay, yeah, so that’s a rattlesnake and whatever that is in the water is not a rattlesnake. Good to know.

He jerks his hand back, the sting of the bite immediate, but he stared down George Foyet and he’s got a sinking feeling that the “don’t show any fear” profile needs to be implemented here too. “Emily,” he can feel her still hovering just over his shoulder. Still well within striking distance of the snake curling around itself only a foot from him. “Emily move slowly to Morgan.”

There was a second snake, of course, there was, right there with them the whole time. Before silent and now raised up and shaking its little rattled tail at them in a warning that’s coming a bit too late given the deep ache in Hotch’s hand.

Why does she have to argue with everything he says? “No,” she says firmly. Her eyes are caught on the rattle raised in the air. Shaking. That thing is pissed and she’s not going to leave Hotch sitting on the ground right in its warpath. “I’m not going to leave you for--for snake bait.” She moves slowly to crouch behind his back. “What can we do? Shoot it?”

The outright anger in his voice is good, that means he’s okay. “Shoot it,” he whispers hotly. “Great idea, Emily. Then I can add getting shot to today’s list of unfortunate accidents. Right alongside getting bitten by a rattlesnake!” His luck would have him clipped by a bullet hitting a rock.

“Don’t get pissy with me--”

“Hey,” Morgan fusses. They all stop, frozen in fear when the snake raises its head. “Would you two get it together?” Shooting the snake is not a good idea. Any sudden movement from Hotch is going to get him bitten, again. Emily is standing just behind him and to have her shoot it is definitely going to deafen Hotch. Not to mention, there’s the all too real threat of hitting a rock and having the bullet come back and hit one of them. So that leaves what? Distracting it?

Morgan shakes his head, “how fast can you get up and get away, Hotch?”

Hotch’s entire hand is throbbing to the point that it feels like his hand pulses, genuinely moves. Though he can see that he can move his fingers, he can’t feel them. His fear is that if he tries to get up and move, he won’t get away fast enough. Passing out is probably not ideal right now and he’s certain that if he stands too quickly he’s going to drop.

Behind him, Emily turns to glance at Morgan and shakes her head. Her hand has worked its way between Hotch’s shoulder blades and she can feel his racing heart and the fact that his entire body is shaking. He’s going to drop like a ton of rocks if he stands up and that’s not ideal, in any sort of way.

Fuck.

“I’m going to run at it,” Morgan says. Emily and JJ both look at him like he’s crazy. However, he can see Hotch’s shoulder making rapid, shaking rises as he breathes. The way he seems to have popped a leak, leaning heavier and heavier to the left. “Emily,” he leans down and gathers a rock in each hand. “Unless you want me to get bitten too, get him up. Do you understand?”

Emily looks at the snake, still curling and seething, and then at Morgan. She nods. She moves, sitting on her haunches, and moves her hands under Hotch’s. “Ready?” she asks. Hotch nods. “Okay.”

“This is an awful idea,” JJ whispers.

Morgan agrees. “On three,” he announces. He’s going to run at it, throw rocks (try not to hit it), and distract it enough that no one else gets bitten. “One, two--” he shouts, and rushes the snake.

Hotch struggles to get up but the snake is not worried about him, its focus has moved to Morgan. Emily pulls him back, they stumble blindly a few feet back, JJ coming in to stop them from going any further.

Morgan scares the snake off. It strikes the air and he tosses a rock near its head. Enough to make it move back rather than closer. It keeps moving backward, the rattle still measuring its displeasure but it’s not coming towards them. “Everyone okay,” Morgan asks, walking backward, eyes never leaving the snake.

“Ugh,” Emily is half-holding Hotch upright. Her half in reply is all she manages to get out before Hotch roughly pushes himself away from her side. He makes it three stumbling steps before he hits the rocks hard and gags bringing up nothing thin watery vomit. To which Emily winces and turns her head. He might have taken three steps but that hardly put any distance between them.

Squatting down beside him, she places a sympathetic hand on his upper back. “I’ve never been so thankful for your awful eating habits,” she comments. He hangs his head groaning and drawing his hurt hand to his chest, cradling it.

He hates her. God, he needs new friends.

“We’re alive,” Emily answers, rubbing Hotch’s back.

Morgan sighs with relief, eyeing the snake still out of the corner of his eye. Now they just need to get up this hill.

Shakily rising back to his feet, Hotch clears his throat. Trying to preserve some part of his dignity he rolls his shoulder, dropping Emily’s hand. Weakly, voice not nearly as strong as he’d like he mumbles, “ ‘m okay.” His body is drooped to the side, pale lips parted as he pulls in quick, shallow breaths makes it a little hard to believe that. “Gotta--” he swallows down against the raspy quality of his voice. Forcing it to work, to sound normal. “We have to get up the hill. There’s a hospital ‘bout… about fifteen minutes away. It’s fine.”

He already looks pale enough to drop dead.

Even Emily knows better than to fight. She just wishes she wasn’t such a coward but still, she steps back and lets Hotch maneuver himself. Morgan steps close behind, falling into line with Hotch’s lurching, stuttered steps. No one touches him, no one says a word. JJ glances at Morgan and Emily, raising an eyebrow in silent question as to why neither will do anything.

Emily could. He’s more likely to accept her touch and she can physically help to a degree, capable of at least helping a little. He won’t like Morgan at all which is why Morgan follows silently right behind him. If Hotch falls, he’ll fall into Morgan who waits without question to be that help. Without comment, if he’s needed.

He slips in the mud, aware of their eyes watching his every move. A hand lands on his back, steadying, strong. Morgan.

Each step throws a wrench in his hammering heart. His pulse is way too fast and he’s gone from feeling each contraction of the tired muscles like a heated thud in his face to not feeling his face at all. The skin numb.

Finally, his foot hits the grass and he heaves himself up the final step. Never so grateful to see the grass so much in his life. It’s solid underneath his feet, doesn’t threaten to propel him to the side with its slick sludge-like malleability. Someone calls his name and he looks up, sees the worry in Reid’s eyes as he steps close. He opens his mouth and nothing comes out. He’s cold, shivering, and without a warning, not even a grunt to acknowledge the pain that has spread much farther than his hand, he hits the ground.

(there will be a part 2)

[elias-veturius-laia-of-serra]

*Includes SKY Spoilers* 

- Ranked the #1 solider in his class

- Can whittle

 - Can do woodwork (Rebuilt his cabin by himself)

 - Can cook

 - Can dance

 - Can hunt 

- Can windwalk

- Great swimmer

- Can speak Sadhese

 - Can kill 11 men in minutes with his hands tied behind his back 

- Took a whole tower of martials out by himself

 - Led a whole army of Scholars, Martials, Tribes People, and Mariners by himself

- Was taken away from the only real family who loved him at age four.

- Had to watch his tribal family get taken in by the empire by his friends

 - Was the first person to tell Laia that she’s brave and strong repeatedly after she lost her family and was all alone

 - Decided to spend the remaining time of his life left in torch saving Darin cause he promised Laia he would save him

 - Gave up everything just so Laia and her brother could live 

• “Who gave up his freedom and future so Darin and I could live. Who chained himself to an eternity alone because of a vow he made.”

- Led the tribespeople to clear out the scholars from a city so they wouldn’t get killed

 - Told Laia he wouldn’t be able to help her cause he had to focus on getting the ghosts back and then came for her the moment she called to him

 - Has always seen Laia’s strength before she did and continued to call her strong and believed in her despite all her faults and mistakes

- Grew up without a father and a mother who hated him, purposely traumatized him, and tried to get him killed repeatedly

- A smooth negotiator “He could sweet talk a stone into giving him water

 - Is 6′4

 - Loves and gets along with kids 

- Sarcastic King 

-Great sense of humor

 - Always has the most romantic lines 

- Nearly died three times for the love of his life

•  In book 1 risked execution for refusing to kill Laia in the last trial

•  Died on the staircase in book 2 in Kauf prison while trying to save Darin for Laia

•  Nearly died in the maelstrom trying to save Laia from it

 - Encouraged and helped Laia raid caravans and free scholars because she wanted to make a difference in the world

 - Faced off the nightbringer and jinn by himself five times:

•  Behind me, Elias stills and takes a steadying breath. He meets the Nightbringer’s fiery stare, his face paling in shock at what he sees there. Then he growls, a sound that seems to rise out of the very earth. Shadows twist up like vines of ink beneath his skin. Every muscle in his shoulders, his chest, his arms strains until he is tearing free of his invisible bonds. He raises his hands, a shock wave bursting from his skin, knocking me on my back. 

The Nightbringer sways before righting himself. “Ah,” he observes. “The pup has a bite. All the better.”

•  At first, it looks as it always does. Then I see her, crumpled on the earth. I recognize the patchy gray cloak. I gave it to her long ago, on a night when I never could have imagined how much she’d one day mean to me. In the trees to the north, a shadow watches. Nightbringer! I leap for him, but he disappears, gone so fast that if not for his laugh on the wind, I’d have thought I’d imagined him.

 I am at Laia’s side in two steps, hardly believing she is real. The earth shudders more violently than it ever has before. Mauth is angry. But it does not matter to me. What in ten bleeding hells have the jinn done to her?

•    “He blurs into motion, not attacking the Nightbringer, but moving for the jinn with the long spear—Khuri called her Umber. He disarms her with two quick thrusts of his hands, and then knocks her back into Azul. Khuri jumps in front of Elias, glaring at him, no doubt trying to manipulate his mind. But he shakes off her magic, whipping the spear toward her too fast to follow. She crumples to the ground, stunned by the blow. “

  • “But now she’s gone, and the Nightbringer turns toward me. I drag Maro back a few steps. The soul-stealing jinn wears his shadow form, and he is narrow-shouldered and slender, almost emaciated. When he opens his mouth, I dig in my blade, and he gasps, huffing in pain. 

“You’ve been stealing ghosts, Maro.” I fix my gaze on the Nightbringer. “Tell me how to get them back.” 

“You cannot get them back,” the Nightbringer says. “They are gone.” 

“What have you done with them?” 

“They feed the maelstrom.” Maro’s fear makes him talk. “It must be fed if we are to breach the wall between worlds.” 

“Silence, Maro!” the Nightbringer hisses, but all his wrath is for me. “Release him, human.” His magic lashes out like a whip, and it burns the skin of my arms so badly that I nearly release Maro. But Blackcliff has trained me well.”

(...)

“So clever to empty out the city. To use the efrits. But it changes nothing. Your kind is a plague on this world. There are always more humans, and so there will always be more to reap. If not here, then another city.”

“Not if you don’t have your soul thief.” I dig my blade into Maro again, and this time, fire leaks out. 

“Stop.” The Nightbringer’s fists clench. “Or I will find her, I swear to the skies. And I will tear her soul from her tortured body myself.”

 “Spending time with my mother, I see.” The Nightbringer is usually completely in control. But now his anger is reassuring. He is vulnerable. And I can take advantage of it.

 I need to understand him. If he were a human, I would reach out with the tendrils of my magic, a touch too light to be felt. But the Nightbringer will sense any scrutiny—and he will not welcome it. If I want into his head, I will have to force my way in. So I scrape up every last drop of Mauth’s magic and launch my consciousness at him.”

•  “They are your weakness, Soul Catcher.” She drips with malice, shakes with it. “You will fall and the Waiting Place will fall with you.” 

“Not today, Umber,” the Soul Catcher says. “They are under my protection. And you have no power here.” The softer the Commandant spoke, the more dangerous she was. The Soul Catcher’s voice is very low indeed, and power pulses through him. The air in the clearing thickens. The fire in the jinns’ eyes pales, as if suddenly quenched. The jinn retreat, fading into the trees, and when they are gone, my legs go weak, my wound aching.”

•  “Midway through the day, I feel a distant rumble. Thousands of boots marching. Horses. Wagons. War machines. I make for that thunderous drone until suddenly, I’m among the army. I windwalk amid the neat rows of infantrymen, their heads bent against the sharp desert wind. A scream cracks the air. “Breach!” an unearthly voice shouts. “Breach! Find the intruder!”

 It’s Umber who cries the warning, and she streaks through the skies toward me, kneading the wind to lend her speed. Though I bolt away before the soldiers notice my presence, fiery hands swipe at my back. She’s caught my scent.

(...) 

 I force the pain into one corner of my mind and windwalk, spinning sharply around Umber, striking at her with my scims. They dig deep into her hip, and she screams—perhaps from the wound, perhaps from the salt coating I applied to the blade. She tumbles to the earth in an explosion of dust and fire, and I am away.” 

 - Publicly defied the empire by himself 

- Survived torture from Kauf Prison 

- Helped free the people from Kauf prison

- Saved Helene from getting trampled despite her trying to hunt him down in Torch

- Tried to understand and sympathize with the jinn so no one would get hurt anymore

•  He was the first to face Helene against violence and be a voice of truce with the Jinn.

- Ran in front of the maelstrom just to save Laia

- Survived the maelstrom 

- Gave Tas a name

- Is unable to completely forget about everyone he cares for constantly longing for them and wanting to protect them

-Mourned and cared for Sheava despite it being her plan to lure and plant seeds into Elias's head to become Soul Catcher so she can be freed

- Told Helene to stand up and that she was meant to live and comforted her when stabbed and she thought she was going to die in Reaper

- Went out of his way to get to know Avitas Harper and their father despite knowing it would anger Mauth and he would eventually forget about them again

- Changed his family motto from killing and death to dedicate it about his love for Laia

 - Gave up his soul to bring balance back into the world

 - “I wish I can live a thousand lives so I can fall in love with you a thousand times”

[morgana-ren]

Come Down to the Black Sea (II)

Here’s the second part to this fic! In case you’re not caught up, here’s the first! (Part One)

There’s a sickly sweet sense of satisfaction that tugs his blistering lips into a sharp grin when you inevitably return. You couldn’t stay away from the ocean even after your traumatic encounter with him. The pull is too strong, and while any normal person would stay far, far away from the shoreline after learning what stalks beyond the edge of the sand, you’re not any normal person, are you?   

Oh no, you’re much too brave for that. Or maybe much too foolish.

The next time he sees you, he has to admit, you look different than what he’d gotten used to. Maybe a little less aloof. Maybe a little more vigilant. Perhaps even a hint of visible bitterness that his presence taints your peaceful metaphorical sanctum. Your thinly pulled sneer and cautious glances hint at something akin to spite and he’s unsure if the snub intrigues or enrages him further. 

You keep your distance at first, sitting far back on the concrete curb only a few meters from the tarmac of the dimly lit parking lot. You look out, squirming uncomfortably as you stare long to the ocean as if you're trying to relax but failing miserably. The souring experience with the sea creature has poisoned any semblance of tranquility you found before, and your resentful vigilance is written plainly on your features. Even as your muscles pull taut from the tension you’re holding in, the skin beneath your eyes still crinkles as you occasionally search out in the distance for the telltale sign of silvery hair or leering crimson eyes beneath the murky waves. 

He lets you have your comfort days, keeping himself hidden well in the shadowed waters as you regain your footing and attempt to trust the thought of the ocean and her creatures again. As he predicts, every moonrise, you move slightly closer to the sea. Only slightly, but it's more than most of your kind would do given the circumstances.

He's curious if you believe he's moved on by now. After all, he's been a good boy. He hasn't drowned any swimmers in weeks, and more boats have made it to dock than usually do when he’s skulking the depths. 

Humans expect most other creatures to react to their presence being known in one way; fear. In all of your novels, movies, all of your self indulgent garbage, the creatures flee in the face of the mighty human race or face ultimate destruction. Your hubris blinds you. He's not going anywhere. Not until he's gotten what he came for.

Not long after you return to the beach and his impatience reaches an insurmountable peak. He pops his flaxen head up to the surface and studies you until you inevitably realize you’re not alone. Your initial reaction is one he expects, and that’s fear. Your secondary reaction however? That one is the one that grates at him. Irritation. You’re irritated at him. 

You don't flee from your spot like he thought you might, but you visibly tense up for a moment. Once your rationality takes over once more, he swears you shake your fucking head at him as you tear your eyes away from his general direction. The unmitigated gall of some humans. He cannot deny that it sparks his interest, though.

He stays the night with his gaze fixed on you; a gaze you don't return. In fact, you actively keep it pulled away for the duration of your stay. It irks him more than it ought to. Are you trying to pretend he isn’t real?

How dare you ignore him. You didn't even know he existed until recently and you think you can go back to pretending you don't know? Is your arrogance so overwhelming that you'll turn a blind eye to him over petty hurt feelings?

Okay, maybe he tried to drown you, but if you had just returned his call, it never had to be this way. You would be dead and he would be miles down the coast, wreaking havoc on some new stretch of land. Instead, he's stuck here in a battle of stubbornness with some human idiot because you couldn't just die like you were supposed to.

What makes you so goddamn special?

Well to hell with that and to hell with you. You’re nothing. Just another ordinary human girl, and he'll drag you to the trenches if it's the last thing he does. He swears it. 

That night and every night after, he allows you to see him. His eyes might as well be the lighthouse to his location, and if that wasn't enough, you can always make out the silver mop of hair somewhere in the distance. He calls to you and he knows you can feel it. He sees you jerk instinctively towards the ocean, having to consciously keep yourself rooted to the ground, but you always manage to resist somehow. 

It infuriates him, rage building deep in his gut as he sees trickles of light from the sun climb over the horizon and paint the sky with yellows and lavenders as a harbinger of the daylight, and thus the end of his time with you. He watches the rising tide erase your footsteps every morning only to be replaced the following evening, inching ever closer to his territory. 

'Patience' He reminds himself.

Sure enough, one evening as the moon pulls over the sky, you're situated yourself once again on the rocks where you first met, albeit further back than he'd like. You learn from your mistakes, it seems. Unfortunate. For him at least. 

He cautiously swims to the edge of your makeshift perch, hoisting himself up slightly out of the water once more and resting his head on his crossed wrist as he blinks his large red eyes up at you. You still refuse to return the favor, despite the fact he knows that you’re aware of him based on the way you pull your body further into itself when he makes his appearance. The silence lasts for several minutes before he opts to speak, growing weary of being ignored. 

"I knew you'd be back." 

You don't even so much as nod. 

"It's rude to ignore someone. Where are your manners?" 

Despite his persistence, you refuse him the attention he craves. Something wells in the pit of his stomach that feels a bit too much like the humiliating sting of rejection, and he doesn't like that one bit. He doesn't like being ignored.

He brings his arm back and spreads his webbed fingers, letting the water pool around the center of his palm before slapping his hand in your direction. Stark cold sea water drenches the entirety of your front and he watches in amusement as your skin pimples and you recoil, frozen in shock for several seconds. He can't help but chuckle when you begin to screech, angrily wiping your face and yanking at your doused clothing that slaps against your skin with each movement. Try to ignore that. 

"What the FUCK!"

"Don't ignore me, brat." 

Your face contorts and soon you're hissing and sputtering, unable to formulate words in your fit of pure rage. A smug little grin plays on his mouth as he rests his head in his palm, watching as you fail miserably to find some venom to spit back in his face. 

"Are you kidding me? You tried to fucking drown me and you’re pissed I’m ignoring you?" 

He shrugs, huffing out his cracked lips like you're the biggest drama queen on the planet. "You're still breathing, aren't you?"

"I wonder if I'll get a special price when I sell you to a fucking sushi restaurant!" 

The smile fades from his face and he scrapes a talon against the rock. Apparently dark humor is only funny if it’s not being aimed at him. "I'd like to see you try, human."

You two glare each other down for a moment before you sigh and tear your attentions from him to his dismay. "Just go away. Whatever you are, I don't care. Just leave me in peace." 

"You know my name." He spits through gritted teeth, instinctively rising a little higher in defense. 

"Yeah, I also said I don't care. Go away, fish."

You are so fucking lucky he can't reach you.

"No." His answer is simple and deliberate, trying to keep the urge to slither onto the rock and dig his nails into your yielding human flesh at bay. Land is your territory, and he rather enjoys the home field advantage.

"Why? You have an entire ocean to go be a dick in. Why do you have to bother me?" 

He ponders your words for a moment before settling on a less than sufficient answer. You aren’t sure what you expected. 

"Because I can. It could all be over if you'd just quit being stubborn and get in the damn water." 

"Asking me politely to kill myself, huh? That's a neat strategy."

"I've heard your kind say drowning is very peaceful. Probably better than any other way you'll die." 

"Nice sales pitch, bud. Still no takers."

You sit in uncomfortable silence for a few more moments, and he decides that this is going nowhere. Obviously the shock of meeting a sea dwelling humanoid has worn off and isn’t working to his advantage any longer. He's going to have to try another route. 

He heaves himself up to sit directly on the edge of the crag itself while keeping the bottom of his tail below, steady flicking back and forth in a rhythmic fashion. Shaking the water from his hair, he slicks it back out of his face and runs his fingers through the length, brushing the tresses back behind his fins. He’s allowing you an up close and personal look at something most humans will never get to see. No matter how angry at him you are, he knows you can’t resist the urge to look. 

As expected, your curiosity is a bit too much for you to overcome. While you do initially move to scoot away, it’s quickly replaced with a particularly intense look, clearly marveling at the differences in your physiology versus his own. 

His torso is human enough, albeit with an unusually iridescent sheen to it, until you get to the rounds of his hips. That's where thick, black scales accumulate and eventually lead into a sleek, muscular looking tail. The fins on the side of his head twitch slightly as he massages his scalp, and you wonder if it's how he hears things or if it's just a natural reaction to the stimulation. His nails are sharp but he seems to be acutely aware of their placement, avoiding harming himself at all while your cuts are still healing up under a rather gratuitously thick blood tacked bandage from when he grabbed you during your previous meeting. 

His hair isn't blonde, it's literally silver. It frames his pallid face in shaggy waves that reach lazily down below his shoulders and somehow glows with unnatural shine that haloes his head in the moonlight even when sopping wet. While his eyes are that of a predator, they're oddly mesmerizing; a deep, luminescent scarlet that contrasts his pale skin beautifully. You're willing to bet that's a technique developed by his kind to disarm and lure prey, though one of his victims or perhaps another sea dweller must have tried to gouge it out, since one of his eyes has a jagged, pale scar stretching from his thin eyebrow to the chapped, baggy flesh underneath. 

Life in the sea must be just as treacherous as land, as puffy, pink scars crisscross the expanse of his skin, some rounding from the front of his chest all the way around to his back. There's prominent marks around his gills as well. Small, repeated nicks just under the column of his neck. It’s a rather peculiar pattern, but he seems unbothered by them, and most look fully healed. Apparently he's become more cautious- or perhaps more skilled- with age.

How old is he anyway? He looks about your age, but it's rough to tell between the dried patches of flesh that litter his face. Even from beneath them though, you can tell he's oddly alluring; it somehow adds to his unique attraction. He's even got a little beauty mark adjacent to a jagged scar that runs through his chapped lips. 

He’s like something out of the story books you read or the tales you were told as a child. The beautiful creature that haunts the darkness, another pretty mask death facades in. His appearance bodes nothing but an omen of ill will, yet you can’t bring yourself to run from him no matter how much your inner child shrieks at the danger. 

Fairy tales aren’t real, and according to the rest of the world, he shouldn’t and doesn’t exist, and yet here he sits right in front of you as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Decades of fantasy stories with tales of nefarious monsters pretending to be something they aren’t just to entice the clueless protagonist into their ultimate demise should have somewhat prepared you for this moment, but you’re too enthralled with the flick of his tail and self indulgent thoughts of being special to really adhere to the rules of self preservation set forth by predecessors ignorant to his existence.  

You're so lost in observing him and every oddity that his body offers up to your gluttonous mortal eyes that it almost causes you to jump when he speaks again, turning to face you with eyes crinkling in mocking amusement. 

"Huh, you're staring. How rude of you. Unless it's for a different reason, that is."

"What? Wait- no!" You shake your head adamantly even as a telling darkness creeps up your neck and across your cheeks. 

"Humans are bad liars." He grins, tongue poking out from beneath his sharp canines. "It's okay. You can come down and get a closer look if you'd like." 

"Ha-ha. Nice fuckin' try."

"Suit yourself." He clicks his tongue and turns his attention from you, languidly stirring the water where his scaled appendage swishes just beneath the surface.

You eye it, far too curious to resist leaning your head forward slightly to get a better look at it in the cloudy water. “It looks… slimy.”

He balks at your rude admission and it’s apparent you’ve insulted his pride. For a moment, it seems like he wants to admonish you for your careless affront to his form, but he seems to think better of it. Instead, he remains quiet for a moment, trying to think of something tactful to say. 

"Well, it's not. Think...." He pauses, filing through his knowledge of human creatures for a decent comparison. "A snake. They might look slimy to someone ignorant, but they're soft and smooth." 

"Not if you rub them the wrong way." 

"Obviously. That's why you don't do that, idiot."

"What about your-" You gesture vaguely before pointing at the scales that dot his arms and chest. "-Those." 

"Are you stupid or something? It's the exact same thing." He runs a clawed finger up his own arm and then clenches his hand. "Smooth." 

"Huh." 

"If you'll come down here, you can feel it for yourself." 

"Give it up, tailbait."

His wet hand reaches upward and scratches lightly around the scars that mar his neck. He didn't actually expect it to work, but he's irritated nonetheless. This shouldn’t be this much trouble, and he shouldn’t be putting this much effort into anything. Why does he even bother? 

"Fine then."

Despite his tantrum, he knows you're tempted. He can tell by the way you keep eyeing him. You're presented with a once in a lifetime opportunity, and it’s not in your nature to pass it up. Granted said opportunity is a loaded spring trap, but still, it's rough for you to even pretend you’re not interested. 

Although, to be fair, the same can be said about him. He never really talks to humans beyond the regular ‘Oh god, what are you, please help me, let me go, I don't want to die like this’ nonsense your kind spouts off when you realize what's happening. This is his first actual conversation with one of your kind. He’s not happy about the circumstances surrounding it, but he’ll take advantage of it while he has the chance. 

"What about you? When your skin isn't wet, what does it feel like?" 

You pause at the question, unsure of what really to say. You drag your own fingers across your arm, trying to find a way to describe it. "Uh... Fleshy? Sort of squishy? It can be soft or rough depending on where you touch. Maybe a little hairy depending on who?" 

He stares blankly and you realize that's probably not the best description, but what the fuck does he want you to say? It’s such a weird thing to describe. You’ve never even really thought about it before. 

You reach your arm forward to let him touch for himself, but immediately yank it back when you realize what a dumb fuck move that is. He must realize it too, because he's cackling loudly as you cradle your offending arm and look at him as if he’s the one in the wrong. He could have easily yanked you forward and taken you under if you had gone through with giving him the chance.

"You're a fuckin' dick." 

"I didn't do anything. It's not my fault you're an idiot."

"Shut up." You knead your teeth into your lip, scanning him over again. "What about your magic?" 

"Magic? What are you? A child?" 

"What do you want me to call it, then?" 

"Do you call it magic when one of your kind uses a harpoon gun?" 

"No, because it's not."

"Then why would what I do be considered 'magic?"

"A harpoon gun is human technology. What you do isn't. At least as far as I know. You weren’t like… made in a lab, were you?"

He gives a grunt and scratches at his neck again. "Typical human. A tiger has claws it uses to defend itself and catch prey that come naturally to it and not to you, but do you consider it magic? Well mine is no different. We evolve different from your kind, but we're not any sort of mythical. Just because we're not known to you doesn't mean we're some sort of wild outlier. Humans aren’t the end-all-be-all of intelligent life."

You consider his point, nodding after a few moments. "You're right. My bad. It's just... it's new to me. I'm just trying to understand. Is it rude to think of you as mythic? I don’t mean for it to be, it’s just-" 

He huffs angrily before you can finish, scowling again. "We adapt to our environment, same as you. Typical human arrogance. You all think you’re so intelligent and so learned. If you haven't heard of it, it must not exist, right? The mighty human race, epitome of knowledge despite knowing nothing at all!”

You break up his tirade before he starts going off, raising your hands defensively to disarm him. "Fair enough! I didn't mean to offend you or imply something offensive. Sorry! I’m still learning." 

He says nothing, but the rage building within him begins to deteriorate. At least you're smart enough to recognize you're stupid.

Another stark silence, the sound of waves crashing and wind blowing is all that passes between you. A gale brings in a new bout of smells; salt and slight sulfur, the same scent that’s comforted you throughout the entirety of your life. You inhale deeply, relishing in the peculiar sense of nostalgia the sea offers you, even knowing the danger you're literally facing.

The sounds of the waves pushing and pulling with the tides relaxes you, lulling you into a sense of contentment. Leaves rustling and waters bristling on the surface. The sand stuck between your toes. The breeze in your hair. The call of the ocean. 

You can't see the look of peace that overtakes his features, but he can feel it too. Eyes closed, a rare look of tranquility settling across his face as he turns from you and faces the horizon and the open water.

The wind eventually dies down and you break the unspoken moment of serenity between you. You make the choice to speak. 

"Why do you hate us so much?"

His eyes snap open and you are made instantly aware of your folly.

Wrong choice.

"I'm not surprised.” He hisses, shoving away from the rock with a look of disgust that tells you that you’ve made an egregious error. “Typical human. You know nothing." 

With a flick of his tail and another splash of water directed your way, he's gone, submerged beneath the water with nothing but a ripple headed off into the sea from beneath the waves. Even several minutes later when you bring yourself to peer over the edge, you can't see the silvery glow of his hair or the deep crimson of his eyes.

He's really gone. 

It doesn't bring you the comfort it should.

You sit on the edge for a few moments, even rolling the dice on dangling your feet in but nothing slippery attaches itself to your ankle or threatens to drag you below. Orange tinges the horizon and birds begin to chirp, you realize it's time to go home. You don't feel the peace of mind you usually do as you begin the long trek home.

Taglist: @dubliinwaltz​​, @lemonzoey​

[abimess]

I'm back! Hope you're doing well 👐🏼 this time, in order to mix things up a bit, I thought I'd give you 3 moral dilemmas. I've given them a title just for the sake of telling them apart 😂 So:

Unfaithful:

You go out to dinner and when you step into the restaurant, you see Lizzie on a date with someone other than Robbie. You leave the place and as you turn the corner to go to a different restaurant, you run into Robbie. Do you tell him what you saw?

Swimming:

You own a cabin near the beach and decide to spend the weekend there with Leigh Shaw and Taylor Sloane. When you arrive, you notice the sky's dark and the sea a little rough. They, however, do not notice so as soon as they get out of the car they run to the water. You get out of the car and shout at them but they can't hear you. You're way slower than them and as you reach the water you find them caught in a strong current and might be swept out to sea. You're a great swimmer and know you can save one of them. So, which one?

Information:

Wanda is at an undercover mission while you're in the Avengers compounds helping Tony with his suits. Tony tells you to get some tech supplies you guys need and on the way over, a man whom you do not know but wears a SHIELD badge approaches you and tells you that Wanda is in danger. He needs you to tell him her location in order to carry out a rescue mission, otherwise he assures she'll die. Do you tell him?

Good luck and have a great day! 💕

Hey, you! I missed you, friend 💕 This one was hard but very interesting.... Let's go!

Unfaithful:

So, considering the situation you presented, Lizzie would be on a potential date but since I only saw it I wouldn't be sure. Regardless, I don't think I would tell him right away. I think I would talk to Lizzie first and be like "it's your relationship so you should tell him, but if you don't then I will". But very complicated 😬

Swimming:

Oh god!!!!! I hate it! I hate every second of it! hahaha But Leigh is literally my favorite Lizzie character so it would be her without a doubt. (But I'm still heartbroken 💔)

Information:

Wow, this all sounds very suspicious. Although I would be extremely concerned for Wanda as soon as the guy said that, I prefer to think I'd be rational and not tell him where she is. Honestly, I think I would take one of Tony's suits and fly to wherever she is myself 😂😂

Another super fun challenge, friend, I loved it!!! ❤️

[daonepiece]

Hey you precious little cute artist chwan! Its me from heaven! You know the cause of this. That Sanji art... how could you make it so freaking amazing? Do you know how people will die seeing it? Have you ever wondered how creative you are? Do you even know how blessed we are to have you in this community? I blushed like an idiot looking at him.

Talking about the Sanji art, why was it so perfect? I need you to explain for making him exceptionally Gorgeous. The concept... how did you get the concept of All Green and now you are making it my obsession. How did you come up with it? Damn that was so creative. I became crazy over that Idea. Im in love... in love... with you and also Sanji. Thanks for making that art. From next time don't forget to keep your signature. I don't want people to steal your art.

Eeeeeeee you keep spoiling me afhjkas hehehe what am I gonna do I’m about to explode >///w///<

So, you wanna talk about thought process? I’d LOVE to! Please prepare to hear me gushing about it. It gonna be veeeryyyy looonggg   ( ◕▿◕ )

Since Sanji was the first one to be designed, I was nervous at everything *wobbling novice sea witch at your service 👍* The first step is to choose what kind of fish. I like marine life but I didn’t like them that much to know more than a few common name. Initially I thought of dolphin, since they are very smart, and also a lil perv... And they blow clouds of water when they surface to breath, like someone’s smoking! So I started doing research to select a fitting species.

But while I was reading through various dolphin descriptions, two words caught my attention: FAST SWIMMER. I was like, wait who’s the fastest in the ocean??? So my research had come to a swift turning point, I abandoned the dolphin list to go through articles of “fastest fish in the world” instead. That’s where I found out about the Black Marlin. Things clicked in place even faster than Sanji’s Diable Jambe 😆

The second step is to choose what he would wear, I just knew it had to be a white poet shirt, because Sanji. 👀 Took a few more look at the royal family attire and I was like, “yup! poet shirt and waist band, flowy flowy in the sea, seal the deal!” (you can see that in the initial sketch) This soon went through more changes, but at later stage.

The third step is to choose the vibe, setting, pose he’d be in. 3 words stuck with me whenever I think of Sanji: sadness (you could say he’s feeling blue, you know?, blue! 🤓), curiosity, and dream. So here we had pre-timeskip Sanji, maybe even a bit younger, the viewpoint going up, Sanji looking up too, like how one kept wondering about the strange world above but couldn’t go there, stuck in the depth of the ocean. Adding a book because he’s definitely a nerd! It’s supposed to be a cookbook or the encyclopedia of devil fruits. The fourth step is lining. Troubles ensued! Lots of! The pose was haaarddd and I just couldn’t get the shirt hem to look right, it didn’t flow like I wanted, the tail design seemed bland, also his hair bang wanted to make me an enemy... I struggled, and the clock was ticking fast! So of course I did what an impatient one like me always do: Change the hard part. I got rid of the flowy hem, decided to tuck it neatly in a leather-like band, eased up the pose, switched to post-timeskip design, enlarged the fins for dramatic effect, in the first place there were a line of diamond shape running along his tail (the part that helps a fish sense water pressure and stuffs, if I remember correctly), I turned that into Sanji’s swirls as well. The chosen book in the end was “Noland the Liar” because I wanted to slip in a mer!Noland and see if anyone would notice hehe.. Strings at collar and waist was added last as an attempt to balance the amount of black and white on character. Background was simply a bunch of water flows and bubbles, I tried to portray a fast current, hushing our boy to swim away, back to safe home. The final silhouette and line of action wasn’t as nice as the sketch’s, but I’m not picky. *laziness will overwrite everything*

Finally, we crawled to the step I dreaded the most: coloring and shading... The tone was dark blue, giving of an even more ominous feeling I suppose? The next was this agonizing process of making the first thing to caught your eyes is his face, or better, his eyes, but definitely not his butt. TT_TT The black area was so strong, at one point I considered giving the (now blue) sea a plain black filling to neutralize the effect.

While taking care of the treacherous background, I pondered what Sanji’s All Blue would be, now that mermaid’s diet doesn’t include fish... 😂 Like, as a vegan cook, Sanji would want to get his hand on all kind of vegetable available in both world, sea and land? Then we must have the myth of a place, home to every plant possible? What’s the name?? All Green??? Yeah, All Green sounds legit. When the piece was finally done, I uploaded it so fast I forgot the extra step of slapping on watermark! XD

Annnnd that’s that! That’s the whole process I went through drawing mer!Sanji. Thank you for hearing me out > 3 < 💖

[to-fangirl-or-not-to-fangirl]

Freedom

Levi watched her from a distance, jotting down notes as she yelled to him. Hange had dragged him out at dawn, begging him to go to the ocean with her. He'd agreed, if only to get away from the chaos of life for a day.

Despite her incessant begging, Levi stayed on the shore. Hange had grumbled and complained, but now she was knee-deep in the ocean, completely preoccupied. Levi was fine with that. He was perfectly comfortable on the beach, curled up beneath a tree with his cape over his lap like a blanket. He enjoyed watching her as she inspected every aspect of the ocean life. Levi hadn't seen Hange smile like that since she became commander; even if it included waking up before the sun, he was glad she'd dragged him out.

"Levi!" Hange stuck both her hands in the air, waving for his attention. "Come here!"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm good, thanks."

Water splashed around her legs as Hange made her way back to the shore. Levi set aside Hange's journal, pushing his cape off as well, just in time for Hange to stretch her wet hands down toward him.

"We had an agreement," he said.

"But I want to carry some of these rocks back and I need more hands!" Hange wiggled her fingers, like that would somehow change Levi's mind.

"Make trips," he replied, crossing his arms.

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Hange complained. "The water won't hurt you! It's just like that little lake in the woods! I mean, it's saltier, so I wouldn't recommend drinking it. . . . But still!"

Levi sighed. "You're not going to walk away, are you?"

"Not unless you're coming with me."

Exasperated, Levi accepted her hands, letting her haul him to his feet as she cheered victoriously.

The water was colder than Levi had expected, and Hange simply laughed as he jumped in surprise.

"You're evil," he stated.

"Last I heard, I was psychotic," Hange said. "Come on, it warms up quick enough."

Levi cupped his hands as Hange started to deposit shiny, colorful stones into his palms.

"Why do you want these?" he asked.

Hange was already leaving toward the shore with her own collection, and Levi scowled, trailing along behind her.

"They'd really brighten up headquarters, don't you think?" Hange asked, placing the stones in her saddle bag. "Everything's been so dreary lately. I think the kids would really like these."

Levi narrowed his eyes. "That's why? You made it sound so important. . . ."

Hange placed her hands on her hips. "High morale is important, Levi. We can't keep working the kids like veterans and not give them anything in return. Sure, these aren't much, but I'd much rather wake up to something sparkly than bare, empty walls. Wouldn't you?"

Levi held a single rock up to the sun, squinting. "I think it'd give me a headache."

Hange plucked the stone from his fingers, tossing it into the bag. "Okay, you can go back to your nap now." She ruffled his hair as she walked past, leaving him scowling behind her. "You know, I think I'm gonna go deeper."

Though he'd started stalking back to his spot, Levi froze. "Deeper?"

"Mhm!" Hange began unbuttoning her shirt. "I wanna see what's out there!"

"I don't think—"

"I'll be fine. I can swim." She dropped her shirt and pants with the rest of her stuff beside Levi. "You could always come."

Levi sat down, picking up her journal and flipping to the nearest blank page. "I'm good, thanks."

"Suit yourself." She settled her goggles over her eyes, tightening them as she made her way back to the ocean.

Honestly, Hange didn't mind if Levi wanted to spend the day tucked away in the shade. She'd only brought him with her because she knew, otherwise, he would've been working all day. He'd barely stopped working since the battle, always finding something new to focus on. He talked often about how Hange needed to take it easy, but Hange thought that was just the pot calling the kettle black. So, she dragged him out of his room and out to get some fresh air. She hadn't expected him to agree as quickly as he had, but she wasn't about to complain.

Levi watched her run toward the waves, disappearing beneath the surface the moment she could. Though it made his chest tighten, heart threatening to break free, he had to trust Hange. Instead of worrying, he flipped through her journal, scanning the words until his eyes ached, and he shut them for a brief moment.

He hadn't noticed his thoughts slipping away until they were gone completely, and he quickly opened his eyes, shaking the urge to sleep away. He squinted into the distance, barely making out Hange's form as she surfaced for a breath before diving back under. He scanned the horizon, searching for visible threats. He was sure most of the dangers of the ocean lurked beneath the waters, but he would do his part on the surface.

It was after his third time almost falling asleep that he decided to stand, stretching out limbs as if that would get rid of the exhaustion. He watched Hange's head appear, and an excited yelp carried through the wind before she dove back under in search of whatever she'd found. Levi shook his head, fighting a smile.

His eyes flickered to the side, catching a glimpse of something disappearing beneath the waves. He understood that it was nowhere near Hange, but he found himself moving closer to the waves anyway, staring at the spot the object had disappeared. A moment later, it showed itself again. A gray triangular shape, larger than Hange's head, had crossed half the distance between it and Hange in the moment it had gone beneath the waves.

Levi broke into a run, ignoring the chill of the waves. "Hange!" He yelled as loud as his voice would allow, and watched as she surfaced.

"Levi?" She frowned, looking around her. Instead of appearing afraid at the shape, Hange grinned, disappearing beneath the surface.

Of course, this was the woman who found entertainment in socializing with Titans. He really shouldn't have been surprised, but his mind didn't seem to want to cooperate as usual.

Hange surfaced a moment later with a howl. "Levi, you have to see this!"

"Hange, get over here!" He wasn't a strong swimmer, and just the feeling of the ground disappearing beneath his feet had his heart stopping. But he couldn’t leave Hange.

Hange obeyed, to her credit, and swam toward Levi, the creature behind her following.

"But it's so cool!" Hange said, looking over her shoulder. "You should see how many teeth it has!"

"Hange!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!"

The creature turned and swam away before Hange had even reached Levi, but she continued to swim toward him anyway. She recognized the urgency in his voice; she didn't want to push her luck.

"I'm okay, I'm fine," she insisted once they'd reached the shore. "But really, you should've seen it, Levi! I've never seen anything like it!"

"I don't care!" he said, and she frowned in offense, crossing her arms. "I don't care what it looked like! I told you it was a bad idea, but you never listen to me! You always let your curiosity get the best of you, and it's going to get you killed! What if I hadn't been here? What if—"

"Levi," Hange started, reaching out.

"Titans aren't our only threat anymore, and you need to understand that! I'm not always going to be here! You need to grow some common sense—"

"Levi." Hange clapped her hand over his shoulder, squeezing. "It's okay."

"It's not—"

As she frowned at him, expression holding that warm concern she showed when an expedition went wrong, Levi realized with a start that his vision wasn't blurry from anger.

"I know I can't always rely on you to save me," Hange said, cupping his cheek. "You have to focus on other things sometimes. I understand that. But I can take care of myself. Whatever that thing was, I don't think it wanted to hurt me. If I saw it as a threat, I would have done something. I promise." She tipped his face up, forcing him to meet her eyes. "I need you to trust me, Levi. Trust me with my own life, like you trust yourself."

He squeezed his eyes shut, and Hange felt his entire body going rigid. "I need you to be careful," Levi said softly. "I can't . . . I can't lose you, too."

Hange swept him into a hug, squeezing him close. His arms immediately found their way around her body, locking in—Hange couldn't let go, even if she wanted to. She gave him a moment to soak in the embrace, to process that she was safe and sound. She understood that sometimes the anxiety of losing someone close became so overwhelming that it was all one could think about. She'd spent countless nights with Levi, wide awake as they worried together about what the next day's expedition would bring. Since becoming commander, Hange had spent countless nights alone, staring at the ceiling and wondering what she would do if—when—she lost Levi. She understood exactly how he felt, as he hid his face against her neck, like she wouldn't be able to distinguish the difference between the drops of water from her hair and the drops from his eyes.

"I won't leave you," she promised after a moment. It wasn't a promise she could logically make, and they both knew that. Still, Hange continued. "When I die, I'll be taking you with me, rest assured." She received a short, sharp laugh in return, and she smiled, resting her cheek against his head. "I promise, I'll take care of myself. For you."

"Good."

After a moment longer, he pulled away, eyes downcast.

"Can we go home now?" he asked, and Hange laughed at the hope in his tone.

"Yeah," she said, shaking her head. "We can go home."

Hange longed to explore the ocean, to see what rested within and what lied beyond. There was a whole world past the dark waters. Humans would no longer be trapped within stone walls, but free to roam where they chose. If Hange could figure out how to brave the waters, they would have unlimited freedom.

At least, that's what she'd always thought. As she rode side by side with Levi, fingers intertwined between them, she wondered if she was wrong. A new world or not, Hange would always be free, so long as she had Levi at her side.