#i’m reading the second trilogy even tho everyone says is not that worth it ONLY because i knew there will be this type

[zulemmita]

this is, no joke, the best shit i’ve ever read

[werenotacoupleyesyouare]

So I was meaning to post updates for my Farseer Trilogy liveblogging because y’all seemed to really like the last one but one thing lead to another and I finished the book before I could even pick up my phone. SO- here are my thoughts at the end of book 1! (Contains spoilers)

- I’ll try to go chronologically so bear w me

- Look I love chade okay? He’s funny and mysterious but how on EARTH does the whole court think it a good idea to have a child deal with their political issues eye-

- like “oh, boggers! We have found a breach in our enemy’s defence after a war of interests that has lasted decades! Now we only need to gruesomely murder this well known politician, but whoever could be up to the task? Ah yes, this eleven year old warrior cats enthusiast will do”

- Yes I will refer to the Wit only as being a warrior cats stannie bc y’all know that if he was in the real world Fitz would have absolutely lost his mind over that saga. No I will not be accepting criticism.

- I LOVED CHADE’S RICHSONA lady time was funky

- every chapter I read I grow more worried about Fitz’s self preservation skills. He wakes up for the second time during the night, he is told to immediately go check on the royal he is serving because she’s sick, only to find out she’s just Chade in a ballgown, who tells him “there’s no time to explain, now follow me to check out this very dangerous hostage situation 2 days of travel from here” and he’s just like “ok sure” BABY!! NO??

- Forging is gonna throwin a nice angst trope eventually, I’m here for it

- my wlw heart is torn between Molly and Lady Patience... good thing I have two hands!

- Fitz please,,,,, Chade asks him “wait, does the Fool talk to you??” And Fitz is like “oh yeah :) I like when he hangs with me! He barges in, insults me and then tells me my clothes are ugly :)” BABY THAT’S CALLED BULLYING

- okay I know y’all have been waiting for this one so here it comes: FOOL RANT! I don’t know who this funky mean child is but I would do ANYTHING to keep him safe and happy. (And this time I’m not worried he’s gonna die bc there are like another 3 trilogies w his name on the title, so at least I don’t have to worry for a while) he speaks in riddles!!! I love that!! Also he tries to keep Fitz safe so we like him (more to come abt the fool, I ain’t done yet)

- MOLLY AND FITZ ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY SOMEHOW THEY BOTH MANAGED TO BE THE USELESS LESBIAN STEREOTYPE WHEN IT COMES TO FLIRTING I WAS LOOSING MY MIND LAUGHING

- like “Molly!! You deserve to be with someone who wouldn’t treat you like a piece of jewelry! You’re smart, brave and talented, not to mention beautiful, you need someone who could understand you!!” “Oh really?? Like who?” “Oh idk lol” KIDS I-

- also idk who this Jade is but I have a feeling he’s like a relative of Molly and Fitz is just being dramatic

- as you may know I’m listening to the audiobook, and I misheard Pocked Man as Pot Man, which lead to this very funny exchange:

Fitz: are you really... the Pot Man? 🥺

Chade 420-blaze-it Fallstar: not the one you’re thinking of

- I love how almost all of the characters are stoners, I feel like it’s something all fantasy sagas should consider implementing lol

- GUYS! are Lady Patience and Lacey,,, you know,,, 👀

- Lacey 🤝 Burrich: in love with one part of the royal couple while being their man/woman

- OKAY NOW BURRICH. I LOVE THIS MAN GUYS. HE IS A DECENT DAD AND HE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT FITZ IT MAKES MY HEART SWELL. But MAN what bitch with the Wit hurt him like damn

- aside point, Burrich has the Wit right? He was made to feel ashamed about it but he’s another warrior cats enthusiast

- also probs not intended but the Wit especially now feels like a metaphor and my queer ass was PROJECTING I was HURT when Burrich didn’t accept Fitz bc of it

- GALEN FARSEER? STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING GALEN FARSEER GODDAMN FOOL SKILL TEACHING CHILD ABUSING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT BASTARD SON OF SHREWD. BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING GALEN FARSEER-

- okay no really this man is an absolute asshole how can he abuse those kids like that? Fitz almost killed himself damn like imagine being 60-smth and feeling threatened by a fucking 11 year old like get a life bastard boy

- also about that part I loved the Fitz Protection Squad™️

Fitz, at his worst, contemplating s*icide, convinced he isn’t worth shit:

Smithy, The Fool and Burrich: okay! It’s time for murder.

And they did! Well almost but verity finished the job anyway

- how sweet is the fool actually tho?? On the outside he is a bit mean, but then his room is covered in flowers, handmade dolls and swirls of colors. He avoids everyone, lives in the most remote part of the castle but as soon as he makes one friend he absolutely melts and tries his best to protect him. He acts so smug and uncaring but then gets scared when his friend avoids him, and starts going on about how he Doesn’t Actually Care About Him, The Court Just Needs Him, like sure baby. All I’m saying is please protect this kid he deserves the world.

- Verity is my only king, his wife is a kickass cool lady and I can already tell they’re gonna Fuck Shit Up together and I love it.

- yes that whole arc??? Incredible. I kept yelling at Fitz because GODDAMNIT but he did his best, he is only 14 after all (HOW DO THEY THINK IT’S A GOOD IDEA TO GIVE HIM SUCH RESPONSIBILITIES AAAAA)

- lol tho I loved how the Fool was like “yeah so Fitz maybe don’t eat everything they give you ‘cause I’m pretty sure they want to poison you” and then Kettricken is like “hey do you want to try these weird leaves I got from my sketchy garden?” and Fitz is like “oh boy would I”

- earring! Chivalry’s earring! We like that

- Yay so Nosy was alive! Cool again I don’t usually get emotional over dogs jfhdhufjdj I’m sorry I’m a disgrace (I’m confident this will change but for now eh)

- something that will positively destroy me is when Burrich will die eventually (and I know it happens cuz my dad SPOILED it for me) I don’t think I’ll be able to stand that

-okay so yes in general this book has completely made me fall in love and I’m definetly in for the whole saga lol. I was thinking of reading the three Fitz trilogies first and then go back and read the dragons and the other one

- I’ll probably make 2+ posts like this every book, so you can find them on the “#greta reads” in my acc :) anyways tagging a few people who enjoyed the last one @wellamarke @violetiris-ak @wolfofmars thank youuu

[sucker-for-minyard]

When i say that "All For The Game" is important to me and helped me undestand my personal limits, i mean it.

[Tw: harassment]

When i was 10, i started to study in a school called "CEN". There, i made incredible friends, but also not so great ones.

From my first year there (10yo) to my last year there (13yo), i was basically in a school were the people, specially the older ones, had NO CONCEPT of CONSENT AND PERSONAL SPACE.

I lost the count of how many times teenagers would lift my skirt or my shirt, take off my bra, touch my breasts or kiss me without warning.

I was 10!!!! Starting to learn about my body, entering puberty, and i had the worst example possible.

Eventually, i just thought it was normal. It was ok for a friend, who was 16, to grope me, 11, when we passed through each other in the corridor.

It was ok for me to have these older guys hitting on me and talking openly about sexual stuff.

it was ok for people that i DIDN'T EVEN KNOW to touch my body. to kiss me.

it was ok for a friend to grope me and disrespect my body, because that's what people do when they like you. right? right?

i had no idea how much i was disrespecting myself, and how everything that happened would impact my relationship with others in the future.

Fast foward to when i was 14, and moved to another school for X reasons.

I legitimately thought that everyone hated me. I cried to my parents bc i thought that no one wanted to be friends with me.

Guess why.

Because in months there, no one touched me in a weird way. No one disrespected my body. No one forced themselves into my personal space.

I was devastated, and was always on edge, thinking that my friends would go away in any second.

At the same time, i met a guy that I'll call "Adam" bc i don't need his name here. He was the boyfriend of one of my friends from CEN. And we became friends really quickly.

We would call each other for HOURS. He was two years older.

And one day, he started to flirt with me.

I had NO EXPERIENCE dating. I never had someone that i was in love with, and the thought of someone older and pretty and interesting would like ME was just too much. I fell head over heels for him. Not in love. Just, emotionally attached.

He kept flirting, initially nothing much, but then he started to talk about sexual things. Things that he wanted me to do to him and with him. What he wanted to do with me.

And one day, he just called me while jerking off.

I was terrified. I didn't knew how to tell him to 'stop'. That i didn't liked that kind of friendship. Because i didn't want to lose him.

So i just kept letting it happen. Until he decided to grope me in front of his girlfriend and i just had too much.

I went home and cried for hours with my mom on the phone. You know what she said? That it was my fault, since i gave him so much liberty.

That sentence really stayed with me.

And then the year was ending, and i was waiting for my friends from school to finally walk away and stop talking to me.

But they didn't. I did.

And the next year, when i was 15, i was in a new school.

I spent one year there with no problems. Didn't really bond with anyone but was starting to make some friends. It was nice, even tho i was basically being bullied by my classmates. I could ignore it and so i did.

Fast foward to Last year, 2019. now i had 16. Most of my year passed normaly. I never liked studying but i did the minimum to not fail.

And then, in September, i met someone in a party. I'll call him "Dave" because i don't want to put his real name in my blog.

Dave was clearly a 'rebel without a cause'. He smoked and drank without caring about his health. He was cool and everyone wanted to hang out with him. He painted his nails and played the guitar.

And for some reason, he wanted to hook up with me. Not date.

And i fell for it. I kissed him once and was already in heaven. How the fuck someone so cool wanted ME? I had no idea but i was loving it.

Soon we became best friends, we hanged out literally everyday and shit.

And then we became "friends with benefits" lmao. I was in love with him, and he couldn't choose between me and another person (that i won't say the name. today he is one of my best friends).

All of my close friends at the time warned me about Dave. How he treated me badly, how rude he was with me, how he was using me. But i thought that i was in love and ignored everything.

And two months passed like that. I slept in his house 3 times a week. I spent all weekends with him, i drank too much and i started smoking like an idiot.

And one day, after a huge fight me and Dave had, my dad said that my family was going to move to another state.

I called Dave immediately, and went to his house.

Only then we started dating. Because i was going away in two months, suddenly he was ok with dating me.

Adam was terrible and i was so unhappy.

Before we started dating, and even after that, i never had the right to say "no".

It was never about me. What i wanted. What i could give. What i was able to give.

I would come to his house, drunk, and he would ignore that i could not truly give consent and make me do whatever he wanted me to do.

I never felt loved.

My body was not mine. I had no right to control my own body.

I was with someone that would not accept a "no". I was with someone that would threaten to kill himself if i hurted him. I was with someone that said that he would kil me, and beat me, if i didn't do as he told.

He hit me once. And even after that, i didn't break up with him. And as always, he never, NEVER, apologized.

I was, again, in a relationship that taught me nothing about consent, respect and limitations. And it was destroying me without me noticing it.

But two months later, the day came and o moved. Even so the abuse didn't stop there.

He kept emotionally manipulating me, making me feel guilty for not being there. He said that i wasnt the person that he thought that i would be. That i never helped him and never made him happy. He said that i didn't truly love him.

Eventually, we parted ways. He stoped sending me messages and i stopped trying to be there.

I felt empty, and loveless, and it was like i had failed. I felt like i wasn't enough. I failed because i wasn't able to give enough of myself to him.

And now, a couple of months ago.

Someone on twitter mentioned AFTG and i didn't have anything better to do.

I fell in love with the book. I did. But there were so many triggers and had to take it slow.

I KNOW it sounds like I'm reading too deep into it, but please understand.

When i saw the way that Andrew and Neil interacted, as two different individuals, with different needs and different limitations, i was devastated.

I could not handle seeing how respectful and caring they were about each others triggers and traumas.

How Neil respected every single "no".

And how Andrew was able to say "no" without caring about what Neil would feel.

Because, when you say "no", it's for you, you're respecting yourself. And if your special someone can't undestand and respect that, they're not worth it.

I didn't understand that. To be honest, I'm still having a hard time to think about everything that happened to me like it was "harassment" or "assault".

I didn't say yes, but i also didn't say no

And, again, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm reading too deep into it.

Andrew and Neil have this "yes or no" think that left me speechless.

How can someone just respect you so much that they won't touch you unless you give clear permission?

I cried too much, and had enough panic attacks while i was reading the books. There were too many triggers but i kept going because i felt like i needed to.

I never had thought that, when you're drunk, you can't give consent. I never worried about that because no one worried about me when i was drunk. No one asked me anything.

The idea of having someone that will understand if you don't want to be touched, somone that will stay there and wait inutil you're okay, someone that loves you enough to respect if you're not ok... it was too much. Really.

Suddenly all of my relationship with my ex was passing in front of my eyes and i finally saw how abusive it was. How much he didn't care. How i trusted someone that couldn't give a shit about what i was feeling.

It's not that i didn't knew it was abusive. But seeing a relationship so opposite, like Andreil, was a chock.

"All For The Game" brought up things that usually are ignored.

Even if the trilogy is not focused on Andreil, the amount of importance that it puts in "consenting", is amazing.

I started to think about me and my body and how i was treating myself.

And how much i wanted someone that will respect me and love me and take care of me.

It sound dumb but I'm truly grateful. All For The Game is just fiction. But it talks about serious matters with a respectful and realistic approach.

It's "just a book" but it showed me a kind of relationship that i never saw. It affected me.

This is a huge vent because i had a panick attack during my therapy session and i needed to write it.

[twilightofthe]

SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE EPISODE 9 BENEATH THE CUT.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

S O . . .

Honestly I’m kinda really glad I spoiled myself for this movie because I got really really upset by the reviews and went in with my expectations basically on the floor, so I was actually able to be pleased and happy with a couple things in the movie, so I will start off with the few things I did like.

I loved the Rey/Finn/Poe dynamic.  The actors’ chemistry works sooooo well together and I loved their adventure through the first two acts.  You can see how much these guys all genuinely like each other-- even tho the script seems to try VERY HARD to stick Poe and Finn with the worst case of “NO HOMO NO HOMO”-ing I’ve seen in Star Wars since Anakin and Obi Wan in The Clone Wars lol.  Seriously, the script is trying so so hard to pick fights between Poe and Finn, but blessed amazing Oscar Isaac and John Boyega manage to play it so the entire conflict reads more like Poe is jealous of Finn’s feelings over Rey, they act it VERY MUCH like quarreling lovers and it is completely 100% the work of John and Oscar and I love these two so much, I owe them my life.

I adore Rey and Finn’s chemistry too, they spend the entire film with Finn desperately worrying over Rey and Rey confiding her worries and fears to Finn and constantly giving each other looks and ugh, I love them so much.

Force Sensitive!Finn!!!  Just for a second but it happened!  They should have been more blatant but I like that he canonically is!!!

Just in general, I’ve always been a Jedistormpilot shipper, and I feel the ending really leaves that as an open option I will happily take.

The bits with the Resistance and Leia did the best they could with Carrie’s footage.  It was choppy and kinda obvious that footage was all they had to work with, but they tried their hardest and given what little they had to work with, I will unhappily accept it and the fact that Leia had little to no role in the story.  I’m still really upset about it and her character’s death was so damn anticlimactic, but it was what happened.

Billy Dee Williams was charming and awesome as Lando, I loved seeing him, and he did a wonderful job, even if he was just a nostalgia cameo.

3PO was entertaining as ever!  I liked him!  They definitely sidelined R2 way too much, but I was glad to see 3PO and I was glad that he didn’t permanently lose his memory!  The only thing I was kinda ehhh about was the bit with the dagger and the Sith language because the way he was suddenly able to translate it after not being able to translate it?????  Did not make sense at all???????????

Abrams fucking got me with the nostalgia for a second during the Luke Force Ghost scene.  I’m sorry, but I was so happy to see that Leia had done a bit of Jedi training then chose to give it up, I loved the callback to Yoda lifting the X-Wing but then Luke’s ghost did it-- COMPLETE WITH THE OG MUSIC!!!!!  Mark knocked it out of the park and I just love seeing him.

Same for Ian and Sidious!  While I personally did not like the Sidious plot at all and I will expand more on that later, I loved seeing Mr. McDiarmid again and he always just fills me with a bit of glee being his dramatic Palpy self because he’s just as good and as hatable as he’s always been and I thank him for it.

I think that was about it for what I liked, and honestly that was all the work of the talented actors and me being happy to see them pulling off their characters to the best of their abilities.  The plot itself???  Ehhhhhhhhhh.....

Look, as I mentioned before, I liked the Jedistormpilot mission.  That was fun.  

The entire Resistance plot?  Way way way too staggered and jumped around too much, not going into detail, felt a lot like it was trying to cram in everything with little payoff and not much emphasis placed on the importance of its plan so the audience really doesn’t get time to register everything that’s happening with them, let alone care about them

Naomi Ackie did a charming job with Jannah, I would have liked it if her entire plot didn’t kinda invalidate Finn’s overall story arc.  I get they were trying to say “oh look!  Finn’s not alone!  There are other ex-stormtrooper rebels!  Just like Finn!!!”  Instead what it looks like is saying basically that Finn isn’t special, Finn’s defection wasn’t important overall, literally everyone does it, and it means nothing.

(Also going off of this, it really felt like JJ caved to the TLJ hate and totally sidelined Rose, she did like jacksquat in this and I’m mad)

The thing is, I don’t think the Resistance plot and the search for Palpy mission would have been as scattered and rushed and disorganized IF: Rey Palpatine wasn’t a thing, Reylo wasn’t a thing, and Force Ghosts were utilized more.

Look, I was fine with Palpy coming back (on a condition).  Someone had to be the big bad and Disney is too worried about toy sales for it to ever be Kylo, so I knew Sidious could work-- provided they brought back the Skywalkers whose stories were intertwined with his and involved them in his ultimate downfall somehow.

I was fine with Rey Nobody. I was a little mad all the Skywalker legacy was going to her without her earning it really, but I figured that if the final film connected her with the Skywalkers properly, it would be fine, she had time to earn it.

Instead, we got little to no Skywalkers-- one Luke scene that meant nothing to the plot, scraped together Leia footage they could only take so far, and a fucking muddled voiceover from the man who Sidious screwed over the most, the one who originally killed him, the one who should have been THERE.  Look, I should have known they would never actually bring Anakin back, but dammit, he SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.  HE SHOULD HAVE.  This was his story originally, like it or not, and the entire goddamn Sequel Trilogy never so much as said his name, even when they brought back the creep that destroyed his life and he was supposed to give his own to defeat.

Literally no one asked for the Rey Palpatine plot.  It made no sense, you feel nothing for her “heroic” parents because you know literally nothing about either of them, the convoluted logic on why/why not Sidious wants her alive makes no sense.  His goal makes no sense, it’s confusing, so he wants Kylo to kill her but he also doesn’t, he wants Rey there so she can kill him and he can transfer his life force into her and then he’ll bring the Sith back somehow with all that hooded crowd on the bottom of Exetor???  Where did they even come from??  What happened to the canon saying all the dead Sith were on Korriban?  How is Palpy even gonna use Rey to bring back the other Sith????  When can his ghost/zombie corpse/whatever the fuck he is just fucking pull life energy out of people’s chests?  

What they should have focused on instead of the timeline devoted to Rey Palpatine was keep Sidious as the threat, keep all his other “raising the dead Sith” stuff-- just move his hidey hole to Korriban dammit --and have all the Rey’s parents plot shift to scenes with her interacting with Luke and Anakin’s Force Ghosts trying to figure out how to take down Palps together once and for all.  Let her get adopted into the Skywalker family by the only two who actually carried the name, not just have her randomly take it at the end after interacting with Luke freaking once.  She has seemingly close relationships with Leia and Ben, dammit, in that case she should have been Rey Solo or Rey Organa.

Also have Luke’s Force Ghost replace the nonsense with whatever guy Luke was apparently working with to track down Sidious on Exetor-- we never saw all of that and having aaaaaall of that background wordvomited onto us by 3PO at once makes it jarring and confusing and forgettable.  Literally just have Luke show up and tell them!!!!  

Han’s appearance to Kylo on whatsitsname Endor water moon???  Also should have been Anakin if they really wanted to show Kylo/Ben’s beginning to turn (really it should have been Leia but again I get why they couldn’t) back to the Light via a convo with the dead.  Like omgggg let him finally talk to the grandfather he was trying to impress!!  The opening was right there????  But nope, Han is there, and I guess whatever he says is suddenly enough to turn him good again???

(THIS ALSO MEANS MY FUCKING FANFIC WAS RIGHT.  HAN SOLO IS A FORCE GHOST.  WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.  THAT WAS LITERALLY THE ONE THING I PROCLAIMED WOULD NOT BE CANON.  I’M THE NEW ORACLE OF DELPHI BITCHES.  WHAT THE FUCK.)

Aaaaand this brings me to the romance.  The fucking romance.  Look, I’m sorry if you guys all do, I really am, and I respect if you want to unfollow, but I never have been able to stomach Reylo.  Ever.  I never saw the romance.  I saw pain and abuse and one-sided obsession.  Check that, I will admit that I always saw some sort of want from Kylo.  Adam played him very much being obsessed with having Rey with him for some reason throughout all the films, but it also always played as toxic, and him not knowing what to do with that want, and just lashing out and abusing and forcing himself on her at every turn.  It never played as a healthy relationship and it never played like Kylo should be rewarded for it.  And this entire film????  I see still no romance????  Like the first half is just Rey being damn furious at Kylo, hating him, literally wanting nothing to do with him.  I think another part of it is that I have never in the films seen Rey as having romantic or emotional feelings for Kylo, not ever.  Not consistantly.  It’s always just been an entire film’s worth of her despising him-- no not in an enemies to lovers UST despising, like actual hate and frustration --and then one singular bizarre scene that sticks out like a wart on a face where she suddenly does a 180 and is soft with him, like in the elevator scene in TLJ or the ending scene of TROS.  I wouldn’t even say Rey feels soft for Kylo the first damn time she stabs and kills him before healing him.  That to me seems a lot more like guilt to Leia her mentor over stabbing her son, and healing him for Leia’s sake than Rey actually wanting him alive.  Maybe that’s just because from what I’ve seen, Daisy isn’t the biggest Reylo fan and just didn’t play it with her heart.

I’m glad Ben was redeemed, after what Sidious put that family through, I would have been upset with the last Skywalker descendant dying in Dark disgrace.  But I’ve never been able to like his character really because they never fully let him be evil or an intriguing villain character, but they never showed him as good.  I’m sorry, but the comics don’t do it for me either because it seems they’re just trying to slightly alter Anakin’s issues and problems and stick them onto him and go “see they’re the same!” and it just rings fake and irritating for me, and his sudden turnaround does not have the same weight behind it because I don’t even know what he really turned back to the Light for.  Was it for Rey?  That obsession didn’t look like love.  Was it for Leia?  We never got to see him speak two words to her.  Was it for Han?  Possibly?!?!  That scene was not clear?!??!?!!?!  It sure as hell wasn’t for Anakin or Luke because they weren’t allowed to interact with him at all.  His return to the Light made no real sense because there wasn’t a clear motive besides “plot says so” and I Could Not See the logic in Rey suddenly wanting to make out with him, whether he saved her or not.  Really the one good thing about it was that their lack of chemistry throughout the film means that if I ignore the fact that that kiss happened, it’s pretty easy to pretend they never got together ;D  Plus, that Jedistormpilot hug at the very end tho, like I said, possibilities........

AND ANOTHER THING (god I really am a crotchety old lady), THE ABILITIES OF BEN AND REY TO BRING EACH OTHER BACK FROM DEATH.  Rey effortlessly healed a straight saber wound through the gut that has fucking killed multiple trained Force users dead and even more non Force users, healed it in seconds.  Now I probably seem like the biggest hypocrite here as I’m planning on having Anakin survive that same exact type of wound in a fic I’m writing (spoilers for those reading it lol but not really, did y’all actually think I was gonna kill him like that xD  And that in no means says he’s gonna recover completely...), but the difference is that I’m not having him survive through someone else effortlessly curing the wound.  If Ben survived that gut wound by healing himself, using his raw energy that all Skywalkers are supposed to have, I would be able to believe that.  Self preservation will to live saved Vader on Mustafar, saved Luke, saved fucking Sidious.  

But the matter is, if Rey was so powerful that she could just heal Ben from dying like that, why the fuck in the prequels is Anakin so panicked over his loved ones dying ever?  He’s supposed to be the most powerful Force user in existence, more powerful than Rey, shouldn’t he have been able to do that for say, Shmi??  One might argue, “but Rey’s had training!”  Who trained her?  Leia, who learned from Luke, who learned from Obi Wan and Yoda, neither of whom knew how to fucking do that and pass it down, don’t tell me they did.  The other option is that Rey did it untrained on natural talented instinct, which again, in that case, why couldn’t Anakin figure that out?  Why didn’t any Jedi?  Rey worked off of emotion healing Ben, Anakin should have been able to figure that out too.  I will accept Ben’s energy transfer to Rey saving her after she died later as that literally killed him, that makes sense, trading energy at an equal point-- and further canonizes my theory that Sidious was able to steal and drain Padmé’s life energy through her bond with Anakin to save him after he burned, which was the actual reason Pads died in Ep 3.  But Rey effortlessly bringing Ben back like that????  I just can’t, that just doesn’t work for canon for me.  I’m sorry, but no.

My final issue is the sheer amount of ignoring this trilogy did of the prequels.  I’ve already ranted about Anakin not showing up when he should and I will not repeat myself, this rant got long and I’m getting tired, but he should have been there, dammit.  He really should have.  Luke should have had more screentime.  That bit at the end where Rey hears all of the other Jedi’s voices speaking to her???  I’m sorry, but that really does break canon!  It was supposed to be only Qui Gon’s line, or those he taught and could pass it down, who could become Force Ghosts, and as delighted as I was to hear Kanan again and Windu and Luminara and everyone else, their voices should not have been there as they are not Force Ghosts! (and this is only partially me whinging over the fact that in my Force Ghost fic I have already stupidly proclaimed that only Qui Gon’s line has become ghosts and now I somehow have to fix that o_o)

(ALSO also the appearance of Ahsoka Tano amongst the voices means that she is dead which means they had the actual audacity to fucking kill her off OFFSCREEN with no explanation which grrrrrr)

One last whine about the romance, everything with Zorri Bliss and Poe seemed really forced and just another way for the script to blare out “HE’S NOT IN LOVE WITH FINN HE’S NOT HE’S STRAIGHT SUPER STRAIGHT LOOK LOOK LOOK”, tho Zorri’s character herself was fun without the forced romance.

Look, overall, I really liked the characters of the sequels, but I felt the plot was really poorly executed, and I really felt that this was not the “Skywalker Saga”.  The Skywalkers felt cast aside and put in the background and ignored and totally invalidated.  They were my favorites and I feel the narrative let them down and it makes my heart unhappy.  It really feels like abusers like Palpatine and Kylo got to win at the expense of their victims, and that really makes my heart unhappy.  That’s just my personal feelings.  Nothing wrong if you did like it, but it’s just me.  I miss my Skywalkers and their happy ending and I probably always will.  I probs won’t ever really be satisfied with what happened to them, tho I will work my hardest on it.  I guess that’s it.

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2019

i mean, everyone's doing these write-ups, right? might as well hop onto the bandwagon

towards the end of last year i had one of my typical existential crises about my media consumption: am i slowly disappearing up my own ass because i no longer care about most of the pop culture people like to discuss ad nauseam? but on the other hand, isn’t it more responsible to find the niche items made by non-mainstream and marginalized creators? on the third hand, wouldn’t i be much happier if i just watched FMA Brotherhood over and over again, preferably while starting a new Mass Effect playthrough at the same time?

the answer to all these questions is probably “yes,” but i decided to try something different going into 2019. for every week of the year, i would try to get through a year’s worth of content for some kind of media, be it comics, video games, TV, etc--they didn’t all have to be recent, or even new to me, but once i was done with that week i’d be done, even if i didn’t finish the content, and i’d make a judgement based what i’d seen on whether i want to continue. mostly, i was trying to avoid what happened to me with video games in 2018, when i was hating every second of playing Uncharted but still felt obligated to finish because everyone and their houseplant liked Uncharted or listlessly doing the Master Hunter achievement in RDR2 because the main quest made me miserable.

the actual outcomes of this Project(tm) are a little more complicated than anticipated--some media i could finish in a day, while trying to play through ALL THE CONTENT OF AN MMO understandably took much longer than a week--but it all kind of evened out. in the end i did 48 weeks of this, and used December as my catch-ups month to follow up on some things i didn’t get to finish. i thought i’d give my thoughts on each of the things i consumed this year as part of this project below in a concise manner--and yes, i know the people who’ve read even one (1) thing i’ve written are probably laughing right now, particularly given how long i took in this introduction just to get to me point, but i really am going to try!! it’s all an exercise in shameless self-indulgence, basically, but hey: if any of you want to chat at length about any of this stuff below, hit me up.

(quick note: you’ll only find media that i chose for this particular project below, so things i watched socially with friends--like certain film properties slorping me back into Disney’s gelatinous monolith--are not included)

Devilman Crybaby (anime, finished 1/5/2019): honestly i should have twigged onto what the year was going to be like when the first thing i drew from the metaphorical barrel was demon tiddies and apocalyptic existentialism. i was determined to dislike it for most of the year due to fundamentally disagreeing with its main thematic thrust, but i kept THINKING about it even months after. at this point i’ve kinda mellowed out. it’s definitely not a must love, but there’s enough queer metaphor and philosophical richness in it to make it worth checking out.

Attack on Titan (manga, 3 volumes finished 1/12/2019): this is the second time i’ve tried to get into this franchise and...yeah, no. i still don’t see the appeal. the fascistic overtones juxtaposed with absolutely no one having a sense of humor wigs me out to no end.

Young Justice (TV, 2.5 seasons finished 1/31/2019): honestly, what even is there to say? they’re my kids. they’re back and grown up and making even more terrible decisions. i screamed when i saw Babs in her wheelchair.

Black Leopard, Red Wolf (book, finished 2/10/2019): i tried VERY HARD to like this book, given how much i liked Brief History of Seven Killings, but it just...didn’t click for me. which honestly is fine, since i don’t think it was made for me either.

Dragon Age (3 games, finished 2/28/2019): i feel like there’s always a part of me that’s going to think of this series as “the other one,” but y’know. it’s good. it’s my second playthrough (as a mage for all three) and it’s good! i even went around killing all the dragons in Inquisition because Knight Enchanter was a blast. appreciate the higher queer content vis-a-vis Mass Effect, even though i couldn’t care less about any of the plot. Dragon Age II is the best one, do not @ me

Bitter Root (comic, 4 issues finished 3/1/2019): i love intergenerational dramas and i love stories about vampire slayers, so this was aces. my only complaint is the pacing was a little slow for a story that was going on hiatus after five issues.

Pearl (comic, 6 issues finished 3/3/2019): i know that he’s done great things and grudgingly admit that he’s probably a net positive in the industry but Brian Michael Bendis can suck my entire dick

Lazarus (comic, 5 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i really thought this was going to clench the position for comic of the year. it’s Rucka doing Highly Relevant Dystopia! it’s a corporate Lannisters AU! it’s a highly personal story about a woman with high privilege and little agency! what more could you want

Immortal Hulk (comic, 2 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i vibed with the horror feel, but i don’t honestly think it’s THAT exceptional. being set in 616-verse means there was still ton of baggage i didn’t know or care about, since i’ve now swung more to the DC side of things

thank u, next (album, finished 3/5/2019): didn’t Ariana Grande get canceled this year for some reason? oh well, i liked her album

When I Get Home (album, finished 3/13/2019): i vividly remember listening to this for the first time and feeling vaguely disappointed that it wasn’t more like Seat at the Table until i realized that i was covered in goosebumps. still don’t understand the magic but it is Good

The Bird King (book, finished 3/23/2019): pretty much everything you’d expect from a G. Willow Wilson book--spirituality, the female lead finding Themselves and the Answer and learning they’re the same thing, etc etc. i’m slightly resentful that her Wonder Woman was so lackluster while this was so good, but whatevs

Psychodrama (album, finished 3/29/2019): possibly my favorite album of the year? dense and emotionally raw in a way i really appreciate. Dave has a Mercury and he’s younger than me

Mass Effect (4 games, finished 4/7/2019): wow guys did you know that Mass Effect is good! it is. all of it is actually, even the Mass Effect 3 ending, another controversial finale to a big franchise that i will obstinately defend. even Andromeda, which isn’t AS good as the trilogy but still has a lot of heart. all its bugs have been exhaustively patched since launch anyway

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV, 4 seasons finished 5/13/2019): i’m...still kind of mad about this finale, but can’t exactly deny that this show is one of the best things to ever happen to me, or television probably. i didn’t even mind new!Greg that much! tho he was probably the nail on the coffin of me jumping onto the Nathaniel train.

Knights of the Old Republic/The Old Republic (3 games, finished 7/4/2019): did you guys know that KOTOR II was my first ever video game? i feel like that...explains a lot about me. anyway, the first game is a classic and the second is a deconstructive classic and playing either of them is basically a fun way for me to turn off my brain these days. even the MMO wasn’t as much of slog as i worried it would be. the Imperial Agent storyline had some nice surprises and i dig the general atmosphere of ruthless pragmatism and crushing loneliness.

Wanderers (book, finished 7/13/2019): Chuck Wendig is a very well-intentioned man in dire need of a strict editor. still good tho! some VERY punchy emotional bits and an ending that still leaves me with vague existential terror.

Code Geass (anime, 2 seasons finished 7/20/2019): i feel like this is on the polar opposite of the spectrum as Devilman Crybaby, because i don’t think Geass is GOOD on like, any basis, and i actually find its central moral message kind of abhorrent? but some part of my lizard brain LOVED the High Imperial Family Drama (it’s been a good year for me and Lannister types, hasn’t it? well, with the obvious exception of--never mind), so...yeah. have i discovered the true meaning of guilty pleasure

The Farewell (movie, finished 7/23/2019): how could i not a) watch this and b) love this and c) feel emotionally cold towards this at the same time because the situations depicted were so similar to mine that i ended up feeling kind of alienated

The Nickel Boys (book, finished 8/8/2019): i STILL haven’t read Underground Railroad, but here i am a book late and a dollar short to appreciate Whitehead’s new book. the man’s stylistic versatility is jaw-dropping and i appreciate the plotting in contrast to like, 90% of the litfic out there that’s just “protagonist sad in different milieu”

Durarara (anime, 2 seasons finished 8/31/2019): it’s fucking bonkers and i loved pretty much every second of it? even the second season, where i finally got the BruceNat AU i deserved??? the first anime i’ve seen where everyone was relatively soberly dressed. the answer was love and having feelings and asking your middle school best friend to hurl you like a projectile so you can chop your girlfriend’s head off with a demon katana

Lover (album, finished 9/1/2019): i feel like with all the Discourse surrounding Taylor Swift re: she’s the devil incarnate or re: she’s good, actually the fact that she makes fucking bops gets kind of lost in the conversation. i have no vested interest in her as a person but i liked Lover, even though London Boy was “what if Style but stupid”

Are You Listening (comic, finished 10/2/2019): my actual choice for best comic of the year if i were giving out awards like that. it’s coming of age! it’s grief! it’s queers! it’s trauma! it’s magical realism! it’s cats! it’s expressive gorgeous art! Tillie Walden has an Eisner and she’s younger than me

High School DxD (manga, 2 volumes finished 10/10/2019): i don’t even know how to talk about this series?? i actually kind of came around to the whole “main character is a perv but goes hard for consent” by the end of the second volume, but it’s still...bad. i only can have lingering conflicted feelings about one Japanese adaptation of Christian mythology per year

Ghosteen (album, finished 10/18/2019): much like Immortal Hulk i thought it was fine but over-hyped. it’s Nick Cave doing his Nick Cave ethereal music thing. i still can’t tell what any of the lyrics mean, except Jesus is there sometimes

Watchmen (TV, 2 episodes finished 10/29/2019): i am nOT FUCKING CAUGHT UP so please watch out for spoilers. it is on my high priority list of things to be caught up on tho--i appreciate that the plot is blatantly unsubtle but still manages to give me aneurysms and i appreciate the political overtones just kinda...balances on a razor thin wire and also gives me aneurysms. i wanna say i have no expectations and would be fine if it does a full dive into the horrible bland depths of the both-sides porridge, but i’m sadly a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof

Syllabus/Making Comics (2 comics, finished 12/24/2019): it’s funny--even before Making Comics came out i was like “man i miss Lynda Barry” and then BAM. it’s incredible how her work just makes me feel taken care of, even when we’re wrestling with tough topics or she’s demanding that i draw a Batman in 30 seconds. kudos for immediately shooting to the top of my gift list for my sister also

Allegiance/Choices of One (2 books, finished 12/24/2019): fun and largely inoffensive, but i was honestly hoping for more. the level of Empire apologia going on was too much for me, someone who thinks Mara Jade is the best Star Wars character of all time (still?????? still). it reeked a little of Zahn believing his own hype as the only valid guy in Star Wars Legends of whatever

Aldnoah.Zero (anime, 1 season finished 12/24/2019): turns out i also can only have “trash but my trash” feelings about one Japanese mecha show with higher art pretensions and patriotism verging into jingoism per year, and this one ain’t it. it’s not as good as Code Geass and Code Geass ISN’T GOOD. at least Geass attempted character complexity and moved at enough of a breakneck pace to distract me from its questionable bits. Aldnoah is just...bland, and nothing gets accomplished or revealed in 12 episodes, except the baffling and contradictory motivations of the main bad guy.

Baldur’s Gate (game, unfinished): yet again something i really wanted to like, given *gestures at all the BioWare above*. i think it’s mainly the Seinfeld issue, where it actually predates my own experience with video games and was so formative for the Western RPG genre that what was innovative just comes across as kind of staid now. i didn’t DISLIKE it, and will probably play the sequel since it’s supposed to be more character-driven, but by the time i finished the vanilla campaign i just didn’t have it in me to squint at more tiny avatars on the screen, so the expansions ended up a no-go.

most prominent thing i noticed about this list is that only one 2019 movie made it on the list and ZERO 2019 video games did so. the former i’m okay with because i currently live with two film people with whom i’m happy to tag along to the cinema. the latter bums me out a little more, because there WERE a few things i wanted to play this year, but all of them came out just as my semester was reaching its catastrophic boil, so i had no time. maybe i’ll use my free time after the New Year festivities to catch up on those.

to conclude: this worked out pretty well! i ended up finishing all but one of the things, and only a few were bad enough that i have no interest in seeking out more content. i’ll probably do this again in 2020--we’ll see if the scheduling can withstand a full year of grad school hell

[asiryn]

tagged by @primrose-path-of-dalliance (!!!!!! thanks!!! (lmao, it’s been so long since i’ve been tagged in anything XDD))

Rules: Name your top 10 favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people!

i’m putting this behind a cut, bc i rambled on for quite a while XDD these won’t be in any particular order, and the fandoms will be chosen based off of what i’m currently most into/whichever ones i think of first XD

1. Maleficent [Disney]

okay, i lied a little.....she is clearly my #1 favorite character of all time, so of course she’s first (the rest of the list won’t be in any particular order :P). but....yeah, i love her forever and for all time and eternity, i love her class and elegance, my hunt for all merchandise of her that i can get my hands on is legendary and knows no bounds, she’s my forever girl, etc, etc. if you know only one fact about me, it’s probably that i love maleficent. there’s nothing i can say here that i haven’t probably already said a million times over, so i’ll move on XD

(moana has risen to be a pretty close second, tho)

2. Anthony J. Crowley [Good Omens]

i read the book from a library over a decade ago, and i liked it well enough, but it like....wasn’t an instant new fave that i had to immediately buy for myself (tho it is on a list of books that i wouldn’t mind owning...but maybe it’s finally time, who knows). i’m halfway through the show, and i’ve finally fallen in love with it (i think it finally being a #confirmed love story between our favorite ineffable idiots finally gave it the push it needed XD). it’s still a bit early for me to have a solid, definite fave, but lbr, if i know myself at all, it’s gonna be crowley XD i love this dumb demon (who’s rivaled in his idiocy only by his equally dumb angel husband), i love how he’s so soft even as he tries desperately to convince himself and everyone else that he isn’t, that he loves so many things and humanity and an angel even as he tries to say that he isn’t capable of it, that he never stopped questioning even after it had made him Fall. also, i am so thankful that the fandom has really embraced the potential for the shenanigans of crowley’s snake form.👍

(second place is probably aziraphale, but i also really love anathema too)

3. Namine [Kingdom Hearts]

another one that probably comes as no surprise, if you know me. i love this girl to the ends of the universe. i love the way she reclaimed her agency, her selflessness and determination, her empathy and kindness, how she went from a damsel in distress to pretty much saving everyone, over and over and over again. she deserves only happiness and the best things from now on. and please, for the love of god, give her some new clothes, nomura. >_>

(second fave is roxas, tho really, i love 98% of all the characters in this series ;;;)

4. Aerith Gainsborough [Final Fantasy VII]

my precious sunshine girl 💖 i prefer her in the original game, where she was sweet and optimistic, yes, but she was also sassy and fierce and took shit from no one. i love the girl that decided she wanted to wear a sexy red dress just for the hell of it, and threatened to rip off a mafia don’s balls. i love the girl that was confident and flirty with cloud, but never let any kind of bullshit ‘rivalry’ get in the way of being friends with tifa. i love that she always called cloud out on his bullshit, that she never let tragedy and oppressive shinra forces grind out her optimism, that she never stopped dreaming of a better future. i love that she was exposed to the worst of human nature, and yet still believed that they were worth saving. i love all versions of aerith, obvs, but they’ve definitely smoothed out her edges over the years, and i think that’s a shame. so here’s hoping that she’ll be more like her original self in the remake. 

also, can’t wait to see aerith die again :)))))))

(my second fave tends to flip between cloud and sephiroth)

5. Ling Yao / Greed [Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood]

look. listen. i can’t choose between them, i just can’t. and hey....technically they sort of combine into one entity, so it’s totally fine to count them together, right?? XDD so yeah, it’s really fucking hard to pick a fave out of this cast, bc there’s only like....3 characters?? that i don’t love. but ultimately, it had to be these two. every single second they’re on screen, they totally steal the show, and they have a lot of the best scenes and moments in the series. i love ling, how he seems like a total goofball and comic relief at first, but fairly quickly you come to see just how fucking seriously he takes his duties and responsibilities, how selfless and devoted he is to his people, how he would walk through hellfire for the people he loves. he’s just....he just loves, so fiercely and intensely, that he moves even greed into loving him and the people he cares about without even trying. 

and then there’s greed, who even from the beginning, you can’t help but be charmed by, with his sarcastic slow claps and laidback attitude. but over time, you see that he’s just like ling, really, in that he can’t help but get attached to these humans, that he loves them just as fiercely and intensely, even as he desperately tries to play it off. i love the way his character serves as a means for the story to have a really thought-provoking rumination on the nature of sins and desires, and on humanity (as do all of the other homunculi). i could go on forever about these two, and about the show in general, bc it’s just so deep and incredibly layered and complex, so i’ll stop here. 

(next fave after them is winry)

6. Bucky Barnes [MCU]

it’s hard for me to talk about bucky without just dissolving into endless sobbing, but i’ll try my best. he’s just.....he’s someone who has ended up suffering so fucking much, who has every reason in the world to be angry and bitter and resentful and if this was the villain origin story, you’d probably find it hard to blame him. (also, i refuse to say that bucky was ever a villain, bc he never willingly chose to be with hydra, he’s a victim goddamn it--) and yet....he still chooses to be good. to be kind. he could have chosen to go on an endless revenge tour against hydra, but instead he focuses on his own recovery. and always, always, always, he puts other people first. he chooses to goddamn freeze himself, possibly forever, so that he doesn’t hurt people again. he’s truly an inspiration to me, because even after everything he’s been through, he still doesn’t give up. ......and if you’ll excuse me, i need to resume crying about bucky barnes for the rest of eternity 😭😭😭

(next faves are sam and steve. what can i say, i love my caps XP)

7. Keladry of Mindelan [Tortall]

speaking of inspirations, few (if any) characters inspire me more than kel does. unlike every other tortall protagonist, she has absolutely no magic at all, and she starts her story with more odds stacked against her than any of the others. the system and institution are against her, and most people actively, viciously hate her and want to see her fail, all for being a girl and daring to openly step outside of her gender roles. and yet, kel never gives up, and wins through pure will and determination. more than that, she never stops fighting any oppression that she sees, and is always looking out for the abused and marginalized of society. she is fair and just and righteous, and full of a quiet, immovable strength that i, frankly, envy. she’s a fucking mountain; you haven’t a hope of ever tearing her down. 

(other faves....george, raoul, and dom. it’s really fucking hard to choose between them, i can’t even)

8. Oree Shoth [Inheritance trilogy, by N. K. Jemison]

oree is pretty much single-handedly responsible for me loving this trilogy, and is the reason why The Broken Kingdoms (the second book, of which she is the protagonist) is in my top 3 favorite books of all time. she is....just so fucking radiant. she’s a blind artist, and is flung so far out of her depth in the story, and yet she holds her own. in this world of gods, she brings this incredibly human element, and is celebrated because of her humanity. she’s angry and flawed, but also full of love, compassion, kindness, and mercy. she teaches gods the meaning of forgiveness. she takes shit from no one. just....do yourself a favor, and read this series, even if it’s only so that you can read this book. 

(second fave....it’s probably shiny, lbr XD)

9. Sirius Black [Harry Potter]

ahhh, a classic fave. but yeah, i still love him, even after all these years. yes, he’s incredibly flawed, but at his core, he’s just so loyal, and he loves so fiercely, and he tries his absolute best to be there for harry, that i can’t help but love him. also, i have a Thing, for characters who suffer so tremendously, but who don’t give up, and still try their best to be good people anyway. also, wolfstar was the foundation of a very formative part of my life, and put me onto the road of accepting my queer identity, so i’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for the characters who were a part of that. 🤷‍♀️

(other faves are luna and harry, always)

10. Gladion [Pokemon]

mostly his anime incarnation, tho i do like him in the games as well. i love this soft goth boy with all of my heart. he’s so gentle and kind and loving, and i can’t even with him. 

(other faves are lillie, n, zoey, and kukui)

if you guys want to do it, i’ll tag... @dabiden, @green-piggy, @seasbelow, @theroyalweekend, @toomanyfeelings5, @ashetrashe, @neddea.....i can’t think of anyone else, and i’m running out of steam, so if you want to do it, then consider yourself tagged! :)

[literalloserforhanzo]

The Movies And Their Magic

Hanzo x Reader AU where you’re a nerdy student, who lost hope in dating (no feminist tho) and your friend Angela drags you to a Blind date with Hanzo And Genji

Tags: 

Hanzo is sexy

So is Genji

y’all nerds

 I feel like this needs a second part to be valid

Warnings: I’m new at the fanfiction game so if stuff looks wattpad-ish I’m sorry in advance. Comments and suggestions 4 improvement would be damn nice <3 

The movies and their magic

“I'm so glad, that I can always count on you!” looking into her portable mirror, your best friend fixed her lipstick. You looked out of the tram window and sighed. “As if I had a choice....”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, it's not like I'm dragging you into a boring museum or anything, it's the movies! And don't forget, that I'm paying your ticket and popcorn, so I can't see why you are complaining.”

“I guess you're right.”

You didn't have anything better to do anyway. If you didn't agree, to accompany your best friend to her double date, you would be hanging in your room alone. Probably watching Netflix and eating a bag of chips. It was Friday night after all and what do loners do on Friday nights? Well usually, not sitting in the tram in a short pink dress, with fitting heeled sandals.

It wasn't the first time for you to go on a date, actually it would be the fifth. You just didn't have the best experience dating. All guys you got to know seemed to be stuck up and not the brightest. That formed your image of most men being whiny, needy creatures. Going on dates and being disappointed every single time, was tiring and left you both exhausted and unsatisfied. Given those factors, plus this being basically a blind date , your joy was limited. Your friend looked at your frowning face and suddenly started giggling to herself. “What's so funny?” you raised a brow at her.

She hummed, “I can't wait until you see Genji's brother. If you haven't cheered up already after you get your popcorn, then you will when you see who your date for tonight is.”

“Is he anything like Genji? No offense but ...” -“Yeah, I get it but no, not at all. They might be brothers but they're completely different from each other.” “Thank god!” you laughed, your friend softly hitting your leg and rolling her eyes. Honestly, your friends crush wasn't that bad of a guy. He was kind of loud and attention seeking but he was also a polite and honest guy. When you first met him, you were pretty surprised by his strong appearance and how respectful and well mannered he was for someone, who falls straight into your category of annoying, flirtatious men.

The tram arrived and the both of you walked towards the cinema. The closer you came to the cinema, the more you wondered if it was a good idea. Your friend had asked her crush out on watching a movie and he declined, saying he already promised his elder brother to watch it but as blunt and ruthless as your friend is, she suggested to bring a friend along as well and make it a double date. It surprised you, that he instantly agreed to that and wondered, why the company of a second girl made such a great difference but your thoughts didn't linger on that topic for too long.

Your friend insisted, that you'd wear one of her dresses and go full glam with your makeup. She stated “you need to do this for yourself, your worth the effort so make it.” She wasn't wrong, you did like putting effort into your appearance and you enjoyed being looked at by others, for longer than necessary but it also made your expectations of the evening go higher, along with your hopes and that was the problem.

“Angela! (Y/N)!”

You were cut out of your thoughts, when you saw a slim, green haired boy wave at you, from the other side of the street, smiling brightly into your direction.

Angela giggled. “Unbelievable . Shouting our names just like this.”

You looked around Genji but he seemed to be standing there without company.

Did he come alone? That would be the worst, you didn't want to be the third wheel.

Your friend and you crossed the road and greeted your date.

“My brother and I just arrived a few minutes ago so he went to the bank to pick up some cash.” Genji looked into your eyes and smiled kindly. “He should be back any second.”

You nodded and gave a polite smile back. You couldn't judge your friend, the guy was handsome and kind as well. His hazel eyes locking your focus on them like a strong magnet.

Suddenly his gaze wandered higher and his arm raised in sync .”Hanzo, they're here!”

You noticed Angela blushing into the direction Genji was facing, before turning around yourself, just to do the same. The sight in front of you left you kind of speechless. A guy with long, open, pin straight black hair approached you, his broad shoulders intimidating and his dark clothing framing his muscular figure perfectly. You would be a liar if you'd deny the fact that he was an attractive man. Still, you remembered the last time you dated an attractive guy and instantly regained your posture and your cold attitude. The guy shook both you girls hands and the four of you entered the cinema, with your friend and her date walking in front of you, more in love than it should be legal, and you and Hanzo walking behind them, not exchanging a word. You disliked silence but were grateful, that he wasn't annoying and forcing small talk onto you. That gave you time to think and wonder, how this night would continue.

Many new movies launched this week, so the cinema was jam packed with teens, families and young students, waiting in line to see the sequel to beloved flicks. While your friend used the time waiting, taking selfies with her crush you decided to start a light conversation, hoping to set the mood.

“How did you like the last part ? Were you disappointed by the antagonists sudden change of character as well? It's been well criticized for doing so.”

He looked up from reading an advertising sign and faced you, the corners of his lips slightly rising. “I found it fitting, it would have been boring to see him do what everyone expected him to do.” You nodded in agreement. His deep voice continued . “I've read the book and they left a certain part out, that would have made his sudden outburst much more understandable.” “Oh so you already know what's going to happen?” Subconsciously you started to bite your lips, listening to the man speak. You didn't notice but it made him stutter for a moment. “No I don't. I kept myself from reading past the last films action so I can enjoy the movies. The actors are very talented and since the book has so much extra information, it is not boring to read it again.” You smiled and gave an understanding nod. He placed a strand of his loose hair behind his ear and looked at the length of the row in front of you . For the rest of the waiting time you occasionally exchanged opinions about the movie's plot and annoying things about the franchise.

Time passed by faster than expected and you could actually feel that knot of discomfort inside you open and vanish. Being big fans of the trilogy, whose finale you were about to watch, all of you decided to go with the movies menu, which included a huge portion of popcorn and a big plastic bottle, shaped like a goblet. You four were lucky to get the last ones in stock, gathering looks of jealousy by the children behind you in line. A kid even started crying and got yelled at by his mother, having Angela and Genji struggle holding back their laughter. You were curious to see Hanzo's reaction to the occurrence and were surprised, to see him totally unaffected by his surroundings, taking a sip of his drink while looking out for the right hall. You blushed and took a sip of your drink before anyone could see the smile creeping onto your lips.

It made you happy to see, that unlike his brother and the customers before you, he had no intention to brag about a ten dollar plastic cup in front of children. It was something to expect from a guy his age but the others around you proved , that not everyone liked to act their age.

One stairway later you had reached the hall and made your way to your seat. You didn't know what to be more exited about, the movie or talking about it with your date afterwards.

Two hours later the lights of the cinema lit up and signed, that it was time for a break. Each part of the trilogy was three hours and a half long, with a twenty minute break in between. The crowd made their way outside and the four of you gathered around a small, round table in front of the hall, excitedly talking about what you had seen so far and all your feelings about it. The conversation was very energetic and had you forget, how little you were looking forward to coming here in first place. Ten minutes passed and Angela decided to grab another drink before the break was over, dragging Genji with her, before he could suggest you two to join them. You didn't see clearly but you could swear you saw her wink at you before disappearing behind a corner.

After comparing the theories you had before the film, to what you knew now, Hanzo excused himself to use the restroom and left you smiling. You decided to use the time alone to check up on your makeup in your pocket mirror . You looked, just like you looked when you left the house, hair and makeup sitting perfectly but now you were actually smiling, and that was something you had not seen yourself do in a long time. Your lipstick was slightly worn off by the popcorn you ate so you started reapplying it, when you felt someone approach you. Expecting Hanzo, you raised your head but standing in front of you was a stranger. A tall guy with a leather jacket and ripped jeans looked at you, grinning widely. “Are you watching “Of Thrones and Rings III” aswell?” Obviously, why else would you sit in front of the hall, the only hall on that floor? “May I?” Before you could think of an answer the guy was sitting next to you. “So are you here alone?”

Oh no. You hated these guys the most. They forced themselves on you and had a matching, annoying answer no matter what you said. “No I am here with my friends.” “Oh ? Are they grabbing a snack before the film goes on?” You nodded and took your phone out, hoping it would display your lack of interest. “So don't you want to get a new drink or snack as well? I would love to treat you to some ice cream. You would have to share with me of course...” He looked into your eyes and bit his lip. “No thanks, I'm fine. “ You smiled and turned away from him, wondering when he would get the hint. “Oh come on, don't leave me hanging like this. You seem to be pretty bored anyway, how about you watch the movie with me instead ? The seat next to me is empty and if you don't want me to treat you, you could at least keep me some lovely company, what do you say?”

You got up from your chair. You didn't want to make things so dramatic and instantly regretted it but you didn't know what else to do. “No thank you, I want to watch it with my friends.” You held onto your bag tight out of discomfort, which he noticed. He got up too and came closer to you. “Whoa there , why are you actin' like this now, am I scaring you? Don't worry, I don't wanna harm you, I just want to watch a movie with this beautiful girl I just met. Now let's go in, the movie is about to beg-” “I think no means no, don't you think so as well?” Your heartbeat rapidly increased when Hanzo suddenly stood behind the both of you. He grabbed the guys hand and pulled it off your arm. “What the hell, let go of me, who called you over? Can't you see, that we're busy?” Hanzo didn't let go of his arm and looked him in the eye with a stern, unreadable expression. “Can't you see, that she has no interest in spending time with you? Besides she told you, that she wants to see it with her friends. As far as I can judge, you are not one of them so why don't you just leave her alone?” The guy grunted and yanked his hands off Hanzo's strong grip. He rubbed the part he was held on and walked away mumbling something about Idiot and stupid girl. You two watched him walk away before looking at each other, both not knowing what to say.

“I … “ you started. “Such an annoying nagger, I don't get why guys try to talk to a girl after she tells them, that she's not into it. “ He shook his head. “It's not only uncomfortable but you're also making a  fool out of yourself. It's disrespectful.” You opened your mouth to say something but before you had the chance, Genji and Mercy were back with another pack of popcorn and a bag of candy.

The four of you entered the hall and the movie continued, fascinating each of the visitors. The big fight was almost over and many truths revealed. The crowd was shouting things at the actors and Angela, who was sitting on your left, started whispering something to Genji about the recent event. You glanced to your right to steal a look of Hanzo, wondering what he thought of the change of plot. He was completely drawn to the screen. His eyes reflecting the scene of his favorite heroine avenge her family, with the power she had gained, growing in size as she was doing exactly what Hanzo had in mind for her. You didn't realize you were staring until you heard Genji and Angela giggle and whisper something about “these two” and “so in love”. The loud sound of weapons clashing onto each other pulled your attention back to the movie and didn't leave you until it was finished.

When you left the cinema, everyone around you was chatting loudly, with half the people on their phone probably posting about the movie. You stretched and watched Genji and Angela walk before you smiling and laughing cheerfully. Hanzo, standing a tad away from you,was on the phone aswell, explaining to his dad in English, where he and Genji were right now. He was now saying something in Japanese, voice deep and calm. You realized how soothing his voice was. You could listen to him speak about the movie forever. This reminded you, that the date was technically over. Eyeing Hanzo sadly, you took out your phone and answered the few messages you had gotten over the hours. “So did you enjoy yourself (Y/N)?” ,Genji was suddenly next to you. Locking your screen you smiled at him, “Yeah a lot actually, hahah. I'm glad Angela brought me along. I had a lot of fun.” The young boy smiled victoriously and looked at his watch, only to lose his smile again. “Damn, I actually wanted to walk you girls home but the both of us are going to write an exam tomorrow and our father is already stressing Hanzo out over the phone. I hope you can forgive us?” He smiled coyly. You smiled brightly in return. “I guess I'll let it pass this time.”

“Thanks a lot, dinner is on us next time, to make up for it.” Angela returned and Hanzo's phone call seemed to have finished as well. Genji took Angela's hand and gently gave it a kiss. You rolled your eyes but giggled at the gesture, laughing it off.

“It was a honor to spend the evening with you but for the night, we need to excuse ourselves.”Genji stated. Angela approached him and pulled him into a tight hug. They left you and Hanzo looking at each other , unsure what to do. “It was a pleasure to meet you.” You smiled at him brightly and he returned, “I can only give that back, It's nice to meet someone else, who finds the second part of O.T.A.R. As overrated.” You both laughed for a few seconds and then looked into each others eyes for what felt like an eternity. “So …. I heard you haven't watched the Spin off yet?” You began, “The others haven't either, I'd say we continue where we left off today … maybe next weekend?” You raised a brow and Hanzo nodded. “I'll ask my dad” he joked. “Is he really that strict?” “Not really, I was joking, he takes our education very seriously tho, too serious in my opinion but hey, parents...” The conversation silenced out and you just looked at each other hiding a playful grin. “I'm looking forward to next weekend.” His words made you blush. You took a step towards him and he took the hint, wrapping his arms around your small waist. Your cheek rested on his muscular chest and all you heard was your deafening heart beat. You breathed in slowly, afraid he could hear you, the smell of an expensive cologne hitting your nose. “...because of the incident earlier I, ... I haven't thanked you yet.“ His thumb ran across your skin slowly sending a chill down your back. “Not for that, guys like that will never know when they've reached the limit .”

The both of you let go in the same moment, Genji tapping his back and reminding him, that his father was waiting at home.  The entire way home Angela talked about Genji non stop. “... and then.... (Y/N) he looked into my eyes and bit his lip and I think it's Official, I , am in love.” You nodded, letting out an exhausted huff. “So tell me (Y/N) did something happen while we went to get snacks?”

You told her the story and how Hanzo came back the right moment and her eyes lighted up hear you talk about his action. “Oh my god (Y/N) I think he likes you,  I didn't lie when I said he's handsome right? There is no way you can deny that, …. I can see you blush, you're as red as a tomato.... (Y/N) are you possibly in loove?” She joked around how she saw you stare at him during the movie and proceeded to talk about how the next weekend your outfit was gonna be even better and how he wouldn't be able to resist you if you would just put them damn false lashes on. You were pretty sure he wouldn't even care about something like that but for the sake of your friend, you decided to agree. Your friend and you parted ways and you threw yourself onto your bed instantly, tired of the eventful afternoon. After a few thoughts you decided to grab your phone and text your date. To your surprise, you got an answer almost in an instant.

“GL on your exam tomorrow :) “

“Thanks a lot hahah, just closed my textbook.... I'm about to pass out zzzz”

You smiled because of the ridiculous looking emoji he sent.

“Yeah I bet you studied enough, sleep is important you know!”

“You're the one to talk, I heard from Genji, that you like to binge watch series at night, how are you planning on staying up in class like that?”

“Is that your dad talking ;D ?”

“Damn, your right.....”

“:D”

“Anyway, I don't wanna leave you waiting for a response while I sleep,so Good night!”

“Gn <3”

You instantly regret being so fast at typing. What was that heart for just now?! After all, you just met him today! On the other hand, it's just an emoji, right? You just hoped he wasn't taken aback by it or thought you wanted to rush things. Your phone buzzed and nervously you unlocked your screen.

“<3 Sleep well :) ”

You put your phone away and buried your head in your pillow. Your entire body was buzzing with happiness and you felt like the kind of silly teen you ranted about in your head earlier.

“You too :)”

You totally couldn't wait until next weekend.

[s-cornelius]

Everything that I loved about The Last Jedi

Y’all. Y’all. Star Wars was good. I spent most of the movie alternately cheering and crying and yelling (on the inside as to not disturb the other moviegoers), because holy shit. 

As soon as I saw it, I wanted to see it again. There’s a lot going on in this movie, and I love (with few exceptions) all of it.

Everything that I loved (and all the spoilers) below!

Rey having to face the darkness on the island and (therefore metaphorically) face the darkness within herself.

Rey and Kylo’s force talks, which were beautifully shot/scored/sound designed to give you such a feeling of connection, and they only showed them physically together on screen once. The final time they talk and she closes the door on him, thus cutting off their connection and signifying that he’s too far gone, was perfect.

Kylo’s arc and the way that Kylo lets his pain and insecurities rule him. Rey faces the darkness in herself and looks for answers, but the darkness doesn’t overtake her, despite her lingering anger, resentment and need for vengeance. Kylo’s abandoment issues lead him to want to be appreciated and accepted and he feels like he gets that from no one. So he has to prove his worth constantly: prove it to Rey (killing Snoke--which is a bonus for him because he also gets out from under the thumb of a man who belittles him), prove it to the First Order (grappling for control with Hux), prove it to Luke (killing/defeating his former master). But he fails every time because his motivations come from hatred and resentment, etc. and there is no balance in him. Rey hasn’t completely dealt with her own abandonment issues, but she is looking at them (metaphorically in that weird mirror thing), and that’s a start.

Also, re: balance, notice how Luke wears white (for most of the movie), Kylo wears black and Rey wears grey. That’s not an accident.

Yoda’s Rafiki speech to Luke and Luke coming to grips with his own shortcomings/failures, which tie into the whole Skywalker legend story. Legends can’t have failures, but men can. Balance means successes and failures, and acceptance of both. (Also: Puppet Yoda! Frank Oz! I cried so hard during this scene)

The parallel between Luke’s desire to burn the Jedi books/tree and Kylo’s desire to burn down the First Order and Resistance. I wonder if by the end of this trilogy we’re not going to see a New New Republic but something completely different from before.

Poe’s arc was gr9, and I will hear no arguments. Poe, for all his coolness in TFA, doesn’t have much of his character sketched out. We know he’s “one hell of a pilot!” and he’s generally a pretty affable guy, but beyond that he’s sort of a blank slate. But TLJ picks up on the hints that he’s a little reckless and foolhardy (which are there in TFA) and builds a clear, well-defined arc for him, while also fleshing out his relationships with other rebels, but especially Finn and Leia. He wants to lead, a desire we get to see with only a well-timed shot to Poe’s face when they’re naming Leia’s temporary successor, but it’s clear that he’s a much better pilot than he is a leader. He gets three chances to make leader-type decisions, and in grand storytelling fashion, he doesn’t get it right until the third try. Also, arguably, his second bad decision, his mutiny, is way worse for the Resistance because it (indirectly) puts Benicio Del Toro’s DJ in place to betray the escape plan, which causes the destruction of those last transport ships. I wonder if Poe is going to think about this again in the next movie (tho it’s clear it was on his mind when he made the decision about the cannon).

But Leia, and Holdo too as she’s saying goodbye, never stop believing in Poe’s heart or Poe’s potential. Poe’s commitment to the Resistance is unwavering, and with his final decision to have the skimmers pull away from the cannon, he’s stepping up to be a leader in whatever comes next. It was beautiful and I loved every moment of it.

(Poe being a shit on the comms with Hux)

And Finn, whose first instinct is always to run, has to learn to fight for the right reasons. I love Finn and Rose Tico so much in this movie. Finn has been alone his whole life, and every connection that he makes makes him a better person. There’s still so much about the galaxy he doesn’t understand, and I love that he is shown the world through other characters’ experiences. It makes him very grounded, while still letting him marvel in the cool stuff in the movie.

I don’t know if a force sensitive Finn arc was dropped, or if they’re going to come back to it, or if it was never intended in the first place. But Finn is struggling with finding balance just like Rey is. Finn (like Rey, like Kylo Ren) has some abandonment(ish) issues, and he is angry, he wants revenge, and he doesn’t really know what to do with those emotions. If this movie allowed Rey to face her deepest fears, it showed us that Finn is still running from his. He still has to learn that action and motivation are important, something that Rey and Kylo Ren are also struggling with in their part of the movie.

And Canto Bight is a great visual metaphor for this--it’s a beautiful city built on a foundation of slavery, war profiteering, animal abuse, and I’m sure other crimes. Finn thinks it’s beautiful because he’s never seen anything like it before (action), but Rose hates it because she knows how it got built (motivation).

Speaking of Canto Bight, having the force sensitive kid in the last scene was awesome.

I also think it’s easy to point to Canto Bight and say “this is flab and should have been cut, and also Finn and Rose’s mission fails so what was the point?” But I think if you take out Canto Bight, you take out a big chunk of Finn’s arc, all of the character information about Rose (other than she had a sister and she’s a mechanic), and all of that good stuff about Canto Bight’s place in the galaxy (and how it’s a metaphor). And the kids, but I’ll come back to them. Canto Bight, even if the mission is doomed, is a crucial moment in the story, and it ends up doing a lot on what superficially looks like a simple heist (adjacent) plot.

Luke’s “you may strike me down” callback gave me chills even though I saw it coming.

Leia being a BOSS in the force was unexpected in some respects (we’ve never seen her actively use the force so much) and totally expected because Leia is hella strong in the force.

Speaking of Leia, when R2-D2 played the “you’re my only hope” clip, that was another time that I wept.

The story wasn’t about Luke or Leia--it was firmly, decidedly about the new generation (Rey, Finn, Poe, Kylo Ren)--but Luke and Leia got a lot more screen time than I was anticipating going in. Most of the choices Luke and Leia made that really affected the plot are in the past (and tied up in Kylo’s/Ben’s story), but their relationships with the new-to-this-trilogy characters are so rich. Poe and Leia have a history, and you don’t have to read the comics to know it. It’s in the way he touches her hand when she’s in the med(?)-bay(??), the way she slaps him, the way she’s the only one who can stop his mutiny, the way she finally tells him to lead the way at the end.

And Luke and Rey are both a Yoda-Luke redux (with Luke now as the hermit master), and not. Luke’s history, both the history that we the audience are intimately familiar with and the history that we learn slowly over the course of the film, make Luke less of a goofy, inscrutable mad teacher than Yoda. This makes it all the more appropriate that we see Yoda again, I think, there to impart one more lesson to Luke. Luke is not the wise old mad man in the swamp; he’s full of conflict and messy contradictions and doubt about his choices and guilt. Basically, he’s the farthest from any Jedi master we’ve ever seen before. But he still has things to learn, both from his old master, and from his student Rey, who makes the same choice he made in Return of the Jedi.

And Luke and Leia’s reunion scene was perfect. Everything about it was perfect. They played the love theme when he gave her the trinket from the Millenium Falcon and I cried.

Also, I do hope the Rey’s parentage mystery is really put to bed and this isn’t a red herring because this is sooooooo good. Great power and great destiny doesn’t have to concentrated in one or two families--it’s everywhere in everyone, and Rey’s proof of that. TBH I came out of TFA thinking that Rey was a secret Skywalker, but this is so much better.

Rey is a nobody, and that’s not a bad thing. Finn and Rose and Poe are all nobodies too, and so is that kid in Canto Bight. But they still have potential to do big, galaxy changing things.

And also showing us the kids telling the story of Luke standing up to Kylo Ren is so important. Luke, the legend, lives on to inspire another generation of nobodies exploited and oppressed by the powerful. This moment of kids sharing a stories tells us if those nobodies (Luke, Rey, Finn, Rose, etc.) could get out from under the thumb of the Empire and the First Order, why can’t these kids, and maybe they will. Because the power to affect change isn’t concentrated in the hands of just a few powerful families or of the senate or of the next fascist regime--the power to affect change is in all of us, if we only make the choice to do so.

These kids are the hope of the galaxy, the spark of the revolution, and just like Rey, they come from nothing. Great power and great hope can come from anywhere and it is in all of us. It’s a fantastic way to end the film.

If you want to read more about the ways this movie rules, I recommend the following two pieces:

The Force Belongs To Us: THE LAST JEDI’s Beautiful Refocusing of Star Wars by Film Hulk

THE LAST JEDI: A MIRROR, SLOWLY CRACKING by Chuck Wendig

Chuck Wendig lays out some complaints/criticisms in his article in the comments, and those are probably my four criticisms as well. But they are relatively minor imo, and the very very good definitely outweighed the minorly bad.

[erlangs]

kpop recs

okaaay so i was bored and wanted to procrastinate so i thought why not??? keep in mind that this list isn’t exhaustive and there are probably more recs out there but here are just some of my favorites + why i would rec them!! a lot of the recs are on the popular side of things too but i also tried putting in groups that not everyone know of / listen to already ( i put the more popular groups down the bottom btw ).

day6: day6!!!! day6!!! i got into them like over a year after their debut lmao so i was a lil late but damn am i glad that i started listening to them?? they’re more krock than kpop probably but honestly....pls listen to day6.... a lot of people have been saying that some of their songs feel like anime intros too and i would agree?? like some of their songs would fit v v well into shonen anime intros tbh esp probs like sports anime? ANYWAY, they have a variety of songs like they have different sounds for some of their things but i think they still have a v distinctive day6 feel it’s just a matter of preference which sort of sound you like better? honestly, i would rec all their songs but i think for the purpose of this list my rec for them would be letting go (놓아 놓아 놓아). even without context the music video feels so Raw and Deep too imo but...with context lmao they left a keyboard untouched whenever there are scenes of them playing as a band and that’s bc one of their members left and that always makes me emotional. also, congratulations was their debut and you were beautiful is a continuation of that mv wise which i think is cool af. personal rec though? both tracks from the every day6 march ( how can i say is the title track for that one ). 

dreamcatcher: ok so as i write this they’ve only debuted like a couple of months ago but goddamn i love their concept. here’s a fun fact: they debuted on friday the 13th with a song and mv bearing a horror concept which is??? sick af??? their debut mv chase me basically is about the girls as ghosts haunting this place and it is SO COOL. ofc tho, trigger warning for horror!! i believe that the mv is part of the trilogy, and here is the second part of it called good night. the chase me mv i think is the BEST but i really really love good night as a song too. also !! they have rock sounds which is really cool!! ( also, pls listen to yoohyeon, sua and siyeon covering winner’s really really. )

laboum: MY GIRLS WHO DESERVE SO MUCH. i....honestly don’t even know what to rec for this list just bc i like everything they’ve done?? some i do like more than others though, but i think it also kind of depends on your taste and what you like?? if you like kinda like that cute concept then i would def recommend shooting love?? honestly, i myself am kind of like...picky about cute ish concepts just bc a lot of them seem to blur together but i really like shooting love?? it’s such a fun mv and is such a bop. if you’re here for something slower, though, give fresh adventure a listen. and pls support their latest mv ( as i write this ) hwi hwi which is such a catchy song i’m crying.

loona: they’re doing this thing where they’re releasing info about a member every month this year and they’re letting their members come up with a debut song and mv one by one until all their members are out to public. i think it’s a really cool concept too and they seem really really promising. i would recommend watching each of their individual debut mvs ( hyunjin’s around you is my favorite, but watch them all tbh ) and i still can’t get over how much i love their mv ( not featuring all their members tho as not everyone is “released” yet ) love & live.

pentagon: i....love them??? HONESTLY i have no idea what it is about them that makes me love them so much?? sometimes i’m like pls @ them but i really love them and i think their debut was really Solid too?? it’s an mv called gorilla and it just....really impressed me for a debut mv?? their second title track is called can you feel it and they also they have a super cute mv called pretty pretty lmaooo. in their second ep though ( five senses, with can you feel it as title track ) i really like the song engine!! if you like slower and chiller songs, give beautiful a listen too. the mv isn’t like a Spectacular concept or anything but i just love these boys and how much of cute losers they are.

kard: as i’m writing this they have currently not yet debuted but !! they released three project singles that are all such BOPS HONESTLY. kard is a coed kpop group with some really cool sounds. i’m just gonna list all three project singles here because i def think you should listen to all of them esp bc they’re kind of a trilogy song wise?? their first one is oh nana, followed by don’t recall ( a personal fave ) and their most recent one is called rumor. there are v interesting fan theories about the mvs too, especially for don’t recall.

triple h: they’re a project unit featuring hyuna and pentagon’s hui & e’dawn and their debut is!! really something!! their debut mv is called 365 fresh and holy fuuuck. trigger warning for blood, bruises, violence, murder and suicide, though, so please keep that in mind if you plan on watching. if not, the song in itself is such a Fresh song. i love the entire vibe of their entire 199x ep too.

vixx: kings of dance and vocals, ngl. i swear that they just get better and better and better and every time they have a comeback ever since like chained up they just get even fucking better somehow??? fantasy i really really love too and for the longest time it was my favorite song of theirs but then they recently dropped shangri la which is honestly....quite Something Else. i have admittedly not listened to many of their non title tracks either but i really like black out!!

f(x): i’ll be honest and say that i haven’t really listened to much of f(x) other than their 4 walls era but i love that era?? i love the mv to 4 walls too and i would 10/10 rec it. though honestly pls give the entire album a listen and personally, my favorite song from the album is deja vu.

blackpink: goddamn these girls got popular real quick. honestly one of my fave girl groups though I LOVE THEM SO MUCH and though boombayah i think is officially their debut mv whistle is honestly such a bop and also has a bomb ass music video?? their other two mvs playing with fire and stay are also sick af i just really love them. they got the #aesthetic.

seventeen: i’m just gonna keep this short bc i don’t think i know nearly enough about svt just yet but mansae is suuuch a fun mv imo as a whole group that’s their best mv just because it was really fun?? the song is super catchy too. but give their hip hop unit’s check in a listen too bc it’s Iconic tbh.

bts: they honestly deserve the hype they get?? so much?? you’ve most likely already heard about them but if you’re not into them yet or have yet to listen to a song and don’t know where to start my number one rec is blood, sweat and tears — which is also what got me into them — ( and here’s the japanese ver but keep in mind there are triggers for blood, murder & allusions to drugs, i like to think that the japanese ver is an alternate universe/continuation of the korean one and there are lots of theories on this that you can read up ). althouuugh bst especially the mv would set your standards very high i think?? but honestly....that’s a Must Watch if ur getting into bts. i know that it’s already v popular but it really really deserves the attention it gets imo. BUT the entire wings era is worth listening to and also pls listen to all their solos in the wings album ( my personal favorite is rap monster’s reflection ).

red velvet: probably another name that pops up a lot too and they have a really interesting concept tbh?? they have like this duality where red is like a more playful and fun concept and velvet is more classy and elegant in a way?? dumb dumb is a really fun example of the red concept and be natural for velvet!! russian roulette seems like a hit or miss for people too but i think the song is really cute!!

exo: again, who hasn’t heard of them?? monster was a Hit and deservingly so too. i honestly really really love the entire lotto / ex’act album too and i especially really like can’t bring me down from the album. but honestly, as much as how big of a hit monster ( and some of their other mvs like overdose and call me baby, amongst many others are huge hits too ) was, i think my favorite mv they did was sing for you. boy that made me feel things?? many fans speculate that the mv was kind of a tribute to kris, luhan and tao ( three members who left ) too and that made me even more !!! about it. ALSO ALSO they have a sub unit called exo cbx and i just rec everything cbx does tbh but before they became an official sub unit they did this song as an ost for a kdrama and i LOVE it so much it’s called for you.

got7: another really popular group so imma try not talk too much about them but honestly...i think just right is p much an insight into got7′s personality LMAO aka adorable losers. everyone loves all three of their flight log trilogy eras too but my favorite is the flight log: turbulence era. hard carry is a masterpiece that i keep on coming back to and skyway is my other favorite song on the album, followed by boom x3.

bigbang: i’m not even gonna get into this one because chances are you’ve heard fantastic baby or bang bang bang. listen to anything in their made album, basically. but i’m just gonna leave last dance here it was a Masterpiece.

2ne1: a disbanded group, which is really sad lmao. you’ve probably heard i am the best too but i just wanna rec come back home and falling in love. 2ne1 was what got me into kpop in the first place too and i love them.

soloists: i’m too lazy to link all the mvs and all but look into seo inguk, kim chungha, lim kim, ailee, lee hi, park jimin ( of 15& ), amber liu, kisum, dean, heize and i’m probably missing a lot of people.

[deliriousscenarios]

Aww. I hope you are feeling better now, but not gonna lie I was really happy that I got to lift your mood a bit. Last time I forgot to "sign" but it was me, Adorable Baepsae. I have been doing good, but I'm gonna go cry in a corner because classes are almost starting again. Btw, are you sure your favorite band is BTS? I was pretty sure it was GOT7. 😂 Anyways, you said you like old books, can you tell me some you have read? Bc I really love books, but I'm kind of running out of them?😂 -AB

Hey my sweet baby!! Gosh! Always bringing light into my life, even when I don't know it's you! ^^ thank you so, my sweet A.B!! It sucks you've gotta go back, but I'm sure the rest of the year will fly by and then it'll be summer and you can relax away the stress of your stellar first year ^^ honestly, I'm super proud of you, and I don't doubt for even a second you're gonna ace the second half of the academic year too! Good luck, my babeh, I'll be cheering you on the whole way! 😁😁😁 🎉🎉🎉Lmfao! My love for both groups is so hard to explain, but I promise musically it's BTS. Every comeback they remind me exactly why I rate them so highly (speaking of.... FEBRUARY IS COMING!!!!!! 😱😱😱). Don't get me wrong, Got7 are a close blooming second, and Def Soul almost ties for first. Forgive me, Army, I am not loyal! 😅😅😅 but yeah, for now, it's BTS ^^I do like old books, my sweet, but I probably should have specified, I like the way the old pages smell the most. I find it super soothing, lmfao. I'll recommend a mixture of old and new, if that's okay ^^ also, I think this is gonna be a long list, so I'll put this in a read more ^^ that, and I'm super extra and can't do anything without rambling so forgive me in advance!

(Things in bold = Highly recommend)

A few Golden Oldies/Classics - A Picture of Dorian Grey (Oscar Wilde) - Tess of the d'Urbervilles (Thomas Hardy)- Animal Farm (George Orwell)- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass (Lewis Carroll)- Goodnight Mister Tom (Michelle Magorian)(Technically this book came out in the 80's but it's still amazing, and I consider it a classic)- Oliver Twist (Charles Dickens)- Of Mice and Men (John Steinbeck)(Can I just say now, this novel is heartbreaking, but bloody beautiful. I had to read it for GCSE English and I fell in love immediately)- A Clockwork Orange (Anthony Burgess)(This is from the 60's but it's another classic. Though prior warning, the storyline is a lot messed up, but it's a really interesting read. It's honestly so good! Way better than the film, and the film wasn't even terrible. It's a pretty easy read too, I literally read it in a day. It's only like 170 something pages ^^)- Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (Philip K. Dick)(Another one from the 60's but a classic if ever I saw one. This book is the whole reason I got into reading Sci Fi)- Charlotte's Web (E.B. White)- Jaws (Peter Benchley)(This is from the 70's and not quite a classic just yet, despite how famous the film is, but it's actually really good and worth reading at least once ^^)- Wicked (Gregory Maguire)(Now, this book came out in '95, so technically is neither old nor a classic but as far as I'm concerned it's the best classic there's ever gonna be!! I can't even begin to put into words how much I love this book. It's actually really different to the musical (which I also adore with all my heart) and I have to sort of separate them in my head when I watch/read them but it is one my all time favourites. I read the book before watching it, so the book will always have a special place in my heart. I recommend this to absolutely everyone. IT IS AMAZING!!)

I've realised that nearly all the books I've "highly recommended" are actually lacking in the romance department, so incase that's what you were most interested in, my babeh, in this section, I'll only recommend romance ^^

- Dinner With A Vampire (Abigail Gibbs)(Forewarning: Kaspar starts out as a complete and total dick, but I can't help loving him anyway! I have issues apparently)(contains mild smut sort of but isn't supposed to be the main focus, I've just got a one track mind, lmfao)- Experiment in Terror Series (Karina Halle)(Unless you don't like supernatural reads, then I wouldn't touch these with a ten foot barge pole. It can get quite scary ^^)(These also contain smut but in the later books)- Can You Keep A Secret? (Sophie Kinsella)- The Sky is Everywhere (Jandy Nelson)(This book is freaking amazing, but mainly focuses on grief, the actions that can cause us to make and how it effects our lives moving on from it. This book is beautiful but will probably make you bawl your eyes out)- The Duff (Kody Keplinger)- Saving Wishes (G.J. Walker-Smith)(Honestly, I recommend the whole Wishes series. Especially the second book, Second Hearts. It's my favourite out of all of them)- Anna and the French Kiss (Stephanie Perkins)- Fatal Secrets (Richie Tankersley Cusick)(This is a Point Horror which are no longer being punished but, I still really recommend this and loads of others from the Point Horror Publishers, those books are the true definition of my childhood. They're the whole reason I learnt to read ^^)- Soul Love (Lynda Waterhouse)- This Man Trilogy (Jodi Ellen Malpas)(Pretty much published smut, with a pretty awesome plot. If I hadn't read these books, I probably never would've written smut. This was the one that got me hooked on it ^^)- The Fallen Star Series (Jessica Sorensen)(There's an alternative version to this series that the same author has written and they contain smut, but I read this version first and liked it more, so I haven't read past the first book of the others. They might be good though ^^)- Sweet Addiction (Bk1) & Sweet Possession (Bk2) (J. Daniels) (More published smut with a sort of plotline that maybe doesn't seem to go anywhere. From what I can remember I did think the smut was good tho)- Royals Saga (Geneva Lee) (More smut. I've only read the first two, but I thought they were pretty good ^^)- AfterMath (Denise Grover Swank)(Contains mild smut)

A Very Special Mention:- When God Was A Rabbit (Sarah Winman)(This book is not a romance novel, and the subject matter can get really freaking heavy at times, but this book got to me in a way no other book ever has. I'm not saying this is the most amazing book in the world, or anything like that, but personally, it means so much to me. Before I read this, I was so undecided about my future and always second guessing myself, but as soon as I finished it, I knew 100% I wanna be a writer. I don't even know what it was about it, it just hit me and it hit me hard. For that reason alone, this book will always be my all time favourite)

So, yeah... Just a few to get you started, my sweet A.B, lmfao. I jk, obviously I don't expect you to read all of them, but hopefully you'll find one or two in there you might wanna read ^^ ♡