#things i say

[edjectedly]

How Jason Todd Should Have Been Introduced to the BatFam

First Next>>

Batman, frantically putting in numbers and calling someone.

Batman: pickuppickuppickup

Dick Grayson, who just got got in bed after a long patrol, groaning.

Dick: Hello? Bruce, what's going on?

Bruce: Dick I need you to come home right now

Dick: what's going on, is everything okay?

Bruce: yes, I just need you to come home

Dick: .... B I can't just come home I have work at the gym tomorrow and-

Jason, in the background: Holy fuck is that a dinosaur?!

Dick: was that a fucking child???

Bruce: ...

Dick: ...

Bruce: ...

Dick: ....

Bruce: yes

Dick, rushing out of bed, knowing good and well Alfred is on vacation and there is no way B can be alone with a new child: what happened?

Bruce: hestolethetiresofftheBatmobile

Dick: ... That doesn't mean you can kidnap him!!

Bruce: I couldn't leave him. He was hungry. We got burgers.

Dick: oh my god, okay, I'm on my way, have you called Alfred?

Bruce: ...no

Dick, rushing down the stairs to his car: Bruce I swear to God you have to tell Alfred

Bruce: what if he's mad at me

Dick: holy child abduction Batman, you have to tell Alfred before he gets back. I'm not dealing with that.

Bruce: ...okay

Dick: okay, I'll be there in an hour, don't let the kid die before I get there. How's he doing?

Bruce: .... I don't see him anymore

Dick: you don't- Bruce!

Bruce: gottogoseeyouwhenyougethere *hangs up*

Dick: he fucking hung up on me- *deep breath* it's fine, I'll be there in an hour, it'll be fine. He watched me all the time growing up, it'll be fine....

Dick: *remembering all the times he and Bruce sat things on fire because Alfred wasn't there*

Dick: ...fuck

Bonus:

Dick: so you stole the tires off the Batmobile?

Jason: yeah, what about it

Dick: I believe this is the start of a beautiful brotherhood

Bruce: oh no

~

After seeing how popular this is I've decided to make this a whole AU, please stand by lmao

Well, I've done it. Here is is as an actual fic.

[shimmershy]

I support Chara rights but I ALSO support Chara wrongs, they can do whatever the fuck they want

[iblis-trigger]

i couldn't explain this if i tried but the three main cows in home on the range look like lesbians

[danwithouttheplan]

A wizard casts air type magic on me but my windbreaker deflects it perfectly.

[sabriel-writes]

I love that canonically the only reason Pal doesn't write erotica in Nona is that he won't sully Cam's body

[zulemmita]

crying

[tt40art]

Homestuck

Now...... I blaze it, for I am an incurable fool. 🤙🏽

[prowlwolf]

A blood kink is just a piss kink with extra steps

[yeahthatswhatimtolkienabout]

Quote of the day:

When discussing being Christened with my partner, I totally referred to it as "being Simba-ed" by a priest because I forgot the word.

[strawglicks]

Graham payser is the type of texter to type an entire essay of nonsense and cathal bravecog is the type to respond with “k”

[edjectedly]

If Jason Todd Was Introduced This Way, This is How I am Bringing in Tim

This is now a full AU, whoops

First << Prev Next >>

Tim: *bangs on Dick's door in Blüdhaven*

Dick: I swear to fuck if it's another solicitor I'm- *opens door*

Tim: 

Dick:

Tim: hello

Dick: wha- it’s like 10 o’clock where are your parents? you're like eight, why are you out here??

Tim: first off I’m 12 and I'm not a child. can I come in?

Dick: sure, this might as well happen

~later~

Dick: so you're here because you figured out our identities when you were nine, have been following us since before then, and then hacked the Batcomputer only to find Jason looking up ways to get to Ethiopia?

Tim: yeah, pretty much.

Dick:

Dick: fu-frick

Tim: I have been running around Gotham alone at night since I was eight, you can say fuck

Dick: *gasps*

~Bonus, at the Batcave~

*Bruce and Jason are working on the Batmobile, Bruce’s way of apologizing for being an ass*

Bruce: *head snaps up*

Jason: everything good old man?

Bruce: I need to get adoption papers ready

AO3 Link Is Now Active!

[shimmershy]

Today we play the game of: should I draw or should I study for my finals?

Obviously I should study for my finals because I haven't studied much at all yet, BUT I have like a whole day until my next final and I'm not feeling the pressure to study yet AND I want to draw. :I

[iblis-trigger]

audrey with icarus motifs. audrey being associated with a myth about excessive ambition. audrey being a reflection of a story where the excitement of finally -finally- gaining something about themselves that no one else has, makes them so prideful it leads to their downfall. do you see my vision.

[danwithouttheplan]

sometimes I wish I were just some dude instead of a god among men

[sketchyelvenasss]

I used to kinda like Raphael by the end of act 2. Not that I trust him with a sandwich much less anything he says.

But the way I was playing he seemed relatively fair for a devil. And the bastard does have charisma.

But!

I actually hate him and have no problem killing him

Bc

If you get to last light inn and you haven’t interacted much with Astarion and you do not know about his scars

the damn devil will magic Astarion’s shirt off against his will to show the player character the scars—

—I just wanna

[zulemmita]

NICHOLAS GAVE SEIJI HIS JACKET OMG