#i’ve deleted the post that inspired this ask so the context is gone

[mariacallous]

Shortly following reports of an apparent second assassination attempt against former US president and 2024 Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, Elon Musk decided to speak up.

“And no one is even trying to assassinate Biden/Kamala 🤔,” Musk, X’s owner, wrote in a now deleted post, in response to another person asking, “Why they want to kill Donald Trump?”

After deleting the post—which could be interpreted as a call to murder President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris, Trump’s Democratic opponent in the US presidential election—Musk indicated that it was merely a joke that fell flat given the context. “Well, one lesson I’ve learned is that just because I say something to a group and they laugh doesn’t mean it’s going to be all that hilarious as a post on 𝕏,” he wrote, adding, “Turns out that jokes are WAY less funny if people don’t know the context and the delivery is plain text.”

The incident was the latest in a long line of increasingly incendiary political posts from Musk, whose substantial defense contracts with the US government may give him access to highly sensitive information even while he makes potential threats against the sitting commander in chief. And they point to the more pressing risk that Musk’s recent rhetoric has posed: the potential to inspire further political violence.

While Sunday night’s post is gone, it appears likely that Musk could receive some attention from federal law enforcement, if he hasn’t already.

The United States Secret Service declined WIRED’s request to comment on Musk’s post. “We can say, however, that the Secret Service investigates all threats related to our protectees,” USSS spokesperson Nate Herring tells WIRED.

“In my experience, the Secret Service would take such a comment very seriously,” says Michael German, a former FBI special agent and a liberty and national security fellow at NYU School of Law’s Brennan Center for Justice. “Typically, agents would go out and interview the subject to ensure that there wasn't an existing threat, and to make the subject aware that the agency takes such statements seriously.”

German notes that it’s possible the FBI could also launch an investigation. However, it’s unlikely that Musk would face any charges for his post. “On its face, the tweet would not meet the ‘true threat’ test, in that it wasn't a direct threat to do harm to the vice president, so it wouldn't likely proceed to prosecution,” German says. Still, “it would create a record of the investigations.”

The FBI declined WIRED’s request to comment on Musk’s post. X did not immediately respond to WIRED’s request for comment.

Both Biden and Harris have released statements condemning the apparent attempt on Trump’s life and political violence more broadly. In a statement to ABC News, the White House condemned Musk’s post. "Violence should only be condemned, never encouraged or joked about,” the statement says. “This rhetoric is irresponsible."

Where things get dicier for Musk is his role as a major contractor for the US Department of Defense and NASA. According to Reuters, SpaceX signed a $1.8 billion contract in 2021 with the National Reconnaissance Office, which oversees US spy satellites. The US Space Force also signed a $70 million contract late last year with SpaceX to build out military-grade low-earth-orbit satellite capabilities. Starlink, SpaceX’s commercial satellite internet wing, is providing connectivity to the US Navy.

NASA, meanwhile, has increasingly outsourced its spaceflight projects to SpaceX, including billions of dollars in contracts for multiple trips to the moon and an $843 million contract to build the vehicle that will take the International Space Station out of commission.

The US government’s heavy reliance on companies controlled by Musk has repeatedly raised the hackles of national security experts. Concerns at the Pentagon came into stark relief last September after Musk denied Ukraine’s request to enable Starlink in Crimea, a disputed territory bordering Russia, so it could launch an attack on Russian troops. (Starlink was not under a military contract when he denied the request.) In response to previous WIRED reporting, Musk asserted that “Starlink was barred from turning on satellite beams in Crimea at the time, because doing so would violate US sanctions against Russia!”

Neither the Defense Department nor NASA have responded to WIRED’s request for comment.

Even Musk’s October 2022 acquisition of Twitter (now X) had some experts worried about the national security risks it could pose to the US, given his business relationship and communications with the Chinese government, his alleged outreach to Russian president Vladimir Putin (which Musk has denied), and Saudi Arabia’s continued investment in Twitter following Musk’s buyout. Others raised concerns that China may have leverage over Musk, due to his relationships with Beijing related to Tesla, his electric car company that has a factory in Shanghai. And all that was before Musk—a citizen of South Africa, Canada, and the US—reactivated the accounts of conspiracy theorists and white nationalists, and began heavily pushing his own right-wing political narrative. Immediately following the first attempted assassination of Trump in mid-July, Musk endorsed Trump and reportedly pledged $45 million per month to support a pro-Trump PAC, a funding vow he said he did not make.

Musk’s deleted Sunday night post further complicates matters. The CEO reportedly has security clearance given his companies’ work on classified US government projects. While there are many rules around who gets security clearance, such as abstaining from cannabis use, the designation is awarded and maintained on a risk-vs-reward basis for the US government. Given that Musk is perhaps the world’s richest man and most famous chief executive, it may be tricky to pull his security clearance regardless of his flippant discussions of political assassinations.

“This is where Musk's status might have a greater effect,” says the Brennan Center’s German. “It would be hard for managers to revoke the security clearance of someone in a position of power, whereas they could be expected to take quick action against a regular employee who engaged in similar conduct.”

The most concerning aspect of Musk’s post is its potential to further inflame extremist threats in the US, says Jon Lewis, a research fellow at George Washington University’s Program on Extremism, who calls the post “merely the latest example of right-wing incitement that has become concerningly mainstream in recent years.”

“That the owner of a major social media platform—and US government contractor—is opining on the assassination of political opponents should be alarming for Americans across the political spectrum,” Lewis says. He warns that “culture war narratives and thinly veiled racism” have already had effects on the real world, which could be exacerbated by the far-right’s willingness to answer calls to arms.

“These extremists are waiting for the justification to engage in violence,” he says, “and rhetoric like this provides the perfect excuse.”

[ringneckedpheasant]

Hi! I saw your Bible post and if you're interested in doing this, I have a few things you could look into/do which might make the process easier if you have trauma/want to approach it like a set of myths/historical document! I studied theology and religion at uni (particularly queer and eco theology) and came at it from a non-christian angle. Anyway feel free to delete this ask if it's not useful/too much etc. I just thought I'd give some ideas!

Yale has a series of online free lectures on the Old Testament which are super interesting and don't assume any faith! They go into the various myths which inspired the various stories in the bible (such as the flood), and the history of particular parts of the old testament library (they also have one for the new testament but I haven't watched it so don't know how good it is)

Look into apocrypha! The Nag Hammai scriptures, the gospel of Judas etc. Might actually be super interesting to you if you like the myth/history aspect! They're the books which were de-classified as canon (or never were canon), but all were written super early (2nd century) I specifically recommend the Gospel of Mary Magdalene and the Gospel of Judas. "Lost scriptures" by Ehrman is a great laymans book explaining the histories/controversies around this and even goes into the controversies surrounding the secret gospel of Mark aka the gospel where Jesus seems to have gay sex. (Ehrman writes a lot of good layman books on the bible which might be worth looking at!)

If you're looking at the NT maybe look at books like Jesus the Jew by Geza Vermes or The Crucified God by moltmamn. They're a bit specialised but it is SUPER important to modern historical studies of jesus to situate him as a Jew because that is who he was! Also Moltmamns book is v leftist and not fundamentalist.

"And man created God" by Selina O'Grady goes into detail about all the OTHER religions around during the 1st century (emperor cults etc.) Which is great for context for the gospels and also learning about cool religious traditions around in the 1st century!

Queer theology? Maybe? Might be fun for ya? Queer readings of the Bible are abundant from Ruth, Judas, David and Jonathan and jesus and there's quite a few books on them (I'm not dropping any here because I've read some Intense Theological Ones which Im not sure would appeal but if you Google you will find)

Look into Song of Songs the Official Sex is Good and Holy Book in the bible! (It's also just beautifully written)

Looking at things like "the Muslim Jesus" might also be interesting? Little collections of how Islam has viewed/interpreted Judaism and Christianity and why is always interesting and often another angle on those myths/historical documents

I'm sure other people could give you more ideas/ways to approach! I approached from a non religious angle but my institution was firmly situated in the Christian tradition so is slightly biased that way. But anyway! I just thought I'd give some starting points you could look at on the myth/history angle?

Have a lovely day!

I AM LOOKING??!!?? gd this is EXACTLY what I didn’t know I needed, all of this sounds very up my alley & like it’ll be great for what I’d be trying to get out of it. like. I have gone from “this is a thing I’ve been idly thinking about” to “this is a thing I could reasonably do and where I could start”!

I’ve done a little bit of looking into queer readings of things in the past (particularly david & jonathan) but then I had a years-long period that I technically still haven’t gotten out of where I physically could not bring myself to open a bible so I haven’t tried to actually read those stories myself while keeping a queer perspective in mind. also have had more years of lit classes that I dropped out of halfway through the semester so I have slightly more knowledge of how to dissect and analyze Texts than I used to

[spiteless-xo]

╰┈➤ anxiety - tbaw. ⋙ an alternate version of eren's conversation with armin and some of his thoughts.

why was it deleted. i just didn't like it? it felt kind of gimmicky and out of place compared to my usual writing style. the three options are inspired a conversation between the male lead and his best friend in the movie The F Word/What If starring Daniel Radcliffe and Zoe Kazan. what changed. nothing ft. armin, eren. cw. unedited, fem!reader, explicit language, 600 words.

Please remember that this scene was deleted for a reason and that nothing that happens here occurs in the actual story posted on AO3. This is just fun bonus content for people who are interested in reading more.

context. eren is on the phone with armin in the bathroom.

Eren knows what he should do. He should storm down the hall to your room, pound on the door until you open up, and then sweep you into his arms as he gives you a dramatic declaration of love. After he’s been making fun of you for being so passive with Jean, he feels like a piece of shit now for acting the same way.

His mind is plagued with insecurities. What if you don’t care? What if he’s too late? What if you think he’s a creep?

Eren understands now why you were so afraid to confess your feelings to Jean -- this shit is scary.

So, he’s been brainstorming all night and he’s come up with three options:

He can make a move on you now when you’re sad an emotionally vulnerable about what’s going on with work. He’d be taking advantage of you, yeah… but he’d also be taking care of you. God knows that Jean isn’t going to do it. If he’s lucky, you’ll realize how selfish Jean is and fall in love with Eren, instead. If he’s unlucky, you’ll be furious with him for taking advantage of you and end your friendship entirely. Most likely, you’ll realize that Eren’s manipulating your feelings and you’ll resent him for being too sleazy.

You’ve always gone to Eren for advice, so why would that change now that you have some thing going on with Jean? Inevitably, when Jean fucks something up, Eren knows you’ll come running to him for comfort. The downside is that he has to listen to you whine about Jean. On the upside, Eren could slowly slant his advice to turn you against Jean, poisoning your thoughts about him, and helping you open your eyes to Jean’s inadequacy. But, he’s already tried doing that, and every time you just shut him out. If he keeps this up, and you realize that Eren has feelings for you, you’ll think that he’s being too conniving.

Eren could just… wait. Jean is a deeply flawed person, Eren knows that from being friends with him for almost a decade. Eventually, you’ll realize how shitty Jean is and lose your feelings for him. Or you won’t. And the two of you will fall in love with each other and live a happy life with Eren watching from the outside, quietly pining indefinitely. Pathetic.

“Are you sure what you’re feeling for this girl is love?” Armin questions, pausing to let Eren soak in his question. “Maybe this is just blind infatuation. Do you actually like her or are you just upset that she might prefer Jean?”

“Jean’s a piece of shit.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Armin says sternly. “You’re acting weird and possessive about this girl… I’m not trying to dismiss your feelings, but before you play with someone else’s you need to do some introspection.”

“What do you mean?” Eren groans, rubbing his hand across his face. “I’m telling you I love her -- I’ve never felt this way about anyone before -- isn’t that enough introspection?”

Eren can practically hear Armin thinking through the phone and he knows that whatever Armin is about to say next is his carefully worded version of his grievances. “You haven’t been the most respectful with people’s feelings in the past. If you and this girl end up together and the novelty of falling in love wears off, are you going to go back to the way you were?”

“What do you mean the way I was?”

Armin huffs like it’s obvious, but Eren still waits for a response. “Eren… you’re not a good person sometimes.”

Eren recoils as if he was physically slapped. “What?”

“You’ve done some really bad things to people in the past… said some really awful things… Jean is proof of --”

[minjeonpark]

Chapter 28 & things to address..

Hello, it’s your favorite absent author-nim. Lmao

Chapter 28 is up and ready for your eyes. I had a sweet time writing this one because it’s the gate to all lovey dovey stuff.

*heart flutters*

On a more serious/concerning update, there’s a lot of things stemming from one thing that I need to address. Please bare with me as I open the gates of *drum roll* anonymous readers (?) that have been abusing that anonymous button on the ask section of this app.

At first (for months) I didn't want to bring attention to the nonstop harassment I've been getting over here but I feel like there's a person (or several) that have been abusing that anonymous button for months.

And it sucks.

At first, I simply deleted the asks that these people sent because I couldn't be bothered but lately it's all I've been getting (to the point of not being able to find the nice comments) and if their goal is to make me post more often....I'm here to inform you that it's not working, obviously.

Threatening me to post the next update actually hinders me from doing so because my inspiration is gone the moment I read those asks. If you're wondering why I'm no longer active on Tumblr is mainly because of this and now I dread opening this app. with all the due respect that my mother raised me with…please stop.

This is meant to be a pleasing distraction from everyday life. We are here to make friends and to build a safe space, something that lately its not for me.

I believe this story is not that good to be receiving threats over. Sure, I love this story too, I deeply love my characters and it's been a joy writing about them. And I understand the need for weekly updates just as much as I want this story to go on forever. Unfortunately the weekly update thing has not been possible because I work 9-5 but if I'm being honest, I can write a full chapter in three nights. The thing is, reading really rude comments deters me from doing so, I'm sure every reader-nim that it's also an author-nim can relate to this.

And I’m not talking about the reader-nims asking me about the next update or sending great constructive criticism, NO. I’m talking about the anonymous asks that call me a b*tch (to put it in the nicest way without losing context) every time the weekend update is not posted.

As for the things among these *asks* that I -at this point- must address are:

1. How realistic the story is…NOT (?)

One of the first rude asks I got about DSIMY being not realistic at all was how can I claim it to be real when my writing is mediocre and sets the tannies up in the story.

First of all, I know I’ve said I’m trying to keep the story as realistic as possible. What I meant with that was in terms of the timeline. There’s no way I can deduce the tannies’ character down to perfection. Breaking news, I don’t know them. This is fiction even if the tags are #OriginalUniverse. Please understand this is in no way a Hybe certified biography written by a random ao3 author on the internet. *Me believes ao3 is not Wikipedia.*

As for setting the tannies up, I’m hurt that you think I am doing that and I have no clues as to why you would believe that. Again, this is fan fiction written by a random not certified writer dabbling in fan fiction on a site/archive called ao3.

I know I’m not the best writer —I never claim to be one. I know I have so much ahead of me in terms of improvement. I’m not forcing anyone to read anything I write so I don’t understand why the asks about the chapter being sh*t keep coming. If you don’t like it, please don’t read it. Spare your eyes from my writing.

2. Long/short chapters

Complaining about not long enough chapters and then following it up with the chapter being 15k words of filler writing…..I’m sorry. I’m already setting up myself with shorter more action packed chapters. It’s my first time writing fan fiction and I made the mistake of making DSIMY the introduction of the series. At this point, I’m lost on what to include in the chapters.

3. Ignoring comments

I’m not sure if this is about the many comments on ao3 that I have yet to reply to or the 50+ unanswered asks sitting in my inbox. I’ve been deleting rude asks for months here on Tumblr up until these asks literally ran me off the app. Being completely honest, seeing hateful asks at the top of the inbox has made me expect them every time I log on here. And sure thing, there they are, so I stopped altogether.

4. Teasing new stories when DSIMY needs a lot of improvement

Not gonna lie, up until now I was really proud of the story I drafted from the corners of my mind. Up until now. Now im not so sure if DSIMY is worth finishing after many asks telling me to focus on DSIMY instead of starting another shitty story. I know I can’t please everyone, I seriously thought I would receive a lot of excitement from the sequels. Crap, guess not.

5. Not addressing the rude asks

Seriously. This was a happy space for everyone up until I had to address this. I will not answer the rude asks mainly because it will start a chain of events of back and forth that I would like to avoid. And I seriously hope this will be the only time I have to bring such update.

One last thing.

Twitter is going to be my main social media from now on because even if you’re allowed to have a fake profile I can block people if they’re rude, whereas here I cant when people can call me a b*tch and a pathetic author (I'm putting this nicely btw) behind that anonymous button. I've loved Tumblr because you guys are more active here but with this happening I made the decision to stick to Twitter or no social media at all. This is not something I decided after one rude message, it's been more than a dozen since I got fired and it's seriously pushing me back from updating this story.

I will be posting teasers, and just overall updates about everything on Twitter. I will try to move the media over to there some time.

I know it’s very few people being party poopers but these few people are loud and for the sake of enjoying this journey I have to stop giving them access to being rude. I hope you understand where I’m coming from and I apologize if some of this came off in the wrong way —its not meant like that.

I’ll never take your patience and love for granted.

Love,

Your author nim.

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

sarah, i’ve always loved your writing, i have lost count of how many times i have read your stories, so i was obviously really excited when i saw that you had posted a new one.

just for context, i am from rio and i went to all 3 shows this past weekend. and the second i saw ana’s name i had to stop reading.

she shouldn’t be a theme you are using as inspiration for your stories. her family is GRIEVING. they lost their daughter. she had left her home to experience a life long dream and went back DEAD. fans had to help the family pay for the costs bc they couldn’t afford to bring her home. how can you use this as an inspiration to fanaticise about a celebrity couple? the fact that the people on this blog have literally only talked about travis when all of this happened is horrifying enough. A FAN LOST HER LIFE. it could’ve been me. it could’ve been anyone else in that stadium. i just can’t believe you used this on a fucking fanfiction. taylor would be disgusted to see this.

i get that a lot of europeans and americans don’t care about latino lives, but using ana’s passing as an inspiration was just so low. she WAS a person. with feelings, dreams, goals, a family and friends. now she is gone. and you are using her as a character in your fanfiction while her parents go to bed crying because they’ve lost their daughter.

my heart hurts to see this because i genuinely love your writing and now i keep thinking that maybe if i was the unlucky one on that night i would’ve been the theme of your new story about taylor swift and travis kelce while my friends and family suffer with my passing - just trying to give u some insight of how this looks from the outside, this isn’t about me.

if this had happened to an uk fan at a wembley show, would you have written a fanfiction about it? i bet the answer is no.

brazilian fans have been through hell and back, just trying to make the most of our shows despite all the TERRIBLE things that have happened, this past weekend while you are out here writing this shit. the dehumanisation towards us is just so insane to witness.

truly a disgusting move. i felt sick when i realised what you did. i don’t intend to be mean, but i’m utterly disappointed and hope that you’ll consider deleting that story because it’s insanely disrespectful.

and if you don’t then i guess that you don’t care enough and that’s even worse.

Hey anon, I’ve been sitting on this ask for a bit now and I contemplated whether or not I should post this but I am posting it because I see you and I see your opinion in this and I want to say that I partly agree but that you should try and see this from another perspective: whenever I write (whether that’s fiction or not) it’s because I digest my feelings and try and work through them or put them into context to ultimately move forward. I’m not gonna lie. Last weekend, I was horribly troubled by what happened in Brazil. The thought of a young girl going to a concert and not making it out alive has been traumatizing for this entire fandom. Now, imagine how Taylor must feel if I, a stranger, a girl in pure privilege who doesn’t have to worry about what went down in Brazil last week feels this way. I have contemplated whether I should change her name in my story or represent this inner conflict of Taylor’s in a different way. At the end, I felt like Ana DESERVED to be spoken about. She deserves to be acknowledged, by us, by Taylor, by this big hole in our hearts that she’s left. I understand where you’re coming from anon, but I want you to know that there’s a difference between turning a tragedy into something to get attention for when you’ve got nothing to do with it or to create something that can help everyone process their feelings and emphasize how hard this especially must have been on Taylor.

The only thing I disagree with fully from your ask is the assumption that I don’t care about her because she’s from LatAm? Do you hear yourself? I will not and cannot let this sit on me so I’m not even getting into it. I know you’re horrified but please find someone else to put your anger and frustration onto. Not someone who’s spent her weekend grieving.

[holdinbacksecrets]

hi i'm a random walking by.

i don't know how serious you wanted other people to interpret your latest post, but i felt like i could relate.

sometimes the smallest things break our life apart. we take it as small- because it was an incident that happened and we learned to overcome it. however that's in our perspective. we view it as small because compared to our lives, it feels like something so tiny and miniscule that it shouldn't bother us.

but it does.

in reality, it's a big thing. it's a big thing that should make us upset and want to cry and want to give up on. it's a small big thing. or maybe it's a big small thing. small things means easy fights, right? i feel like if i wake up one day and give enough effort for once, maybe i'll beat whatever i'm dealing with. however, i feel like you should know that even if a fight is you (or me) lying under a stack of blankets listening to music and drowning down all of the thoughts, that is still a fight.

so many people would disagree with me, including my very own mother. but she doesn't know even 1% of what i have to deal with independently in order to protect her from the situations we are dealing with.

author, you are my shining light in the end of the tunnel. even if your light dulls, i saw you and i know you are there. we see you. you are a strong person, even if you don't think so yourself. please, if you ever need help, let us know. we appreciate you.

🖤🖤🖤 thank you for taking the time to send me this

[neon-junkie]

Hey everyone,

This will be my final post addressing the fandom conflict that has quite frankly gotten out of hand. Although it’s very likely this post will be picked apart, no matter how well intended it is, I will no longer be addressing, interacting, or responding to any further accusations made against me. Of course, if people have questions from a genuine place of interest, I will be happy to clarify anything for you, either via DM’s or non-anon asks. I will not be answering anonymous asks on this, as I do not want anything else posted on this topic. 

As a side note: For anyone tempted to wade into the debate, I sincerely ask you not to get involved. Do not make yourself a target, do not feel you need to ‘pick a side’, and please do not think you have an obligation to reason with either side. It seems to be well past the point of that, so please find people you get along with in this fandom and curate a space for yourself away from all this conflict.

Warning: This post will contain uncensored slurs, mentions of racism, paedophilia, transphobia, LGBTQ+ phobia, death threats, threats of violence, targeted harassment, and abusive language.

To start off, I want to apologise to everyone who has somehow gotten drawn into this mess by either defending me, following me, or interacting with my content. This whole situation with me began well over a year ago when I wrote a crack-smut fic featuring Javier/Micah, posted back in August 2019. A crack fic is defined as “a work of fan fiction that is absurd, surprising or ridiculous, often intentionally.” It was inspired by a camp interaction between Micah and Javier, and like many other fanfiction writers, I decided to write smut about it. The fic was titled ‘Dirty Fucking Greaser’, and if that shocks you, I’m sure you can imagine how shocked I was to be informed afterwards that ‘Greaser’ was in fact a very serious 19th century slur for a Mexican individual. My first encounter with this word as insult was via RDR2, where it was used like a very casual insult. My only prior knowledge of this term was in regards to the greasers youth subculture, so the severity was lost on me. This obviously does not excuse my ignorance, and I should have researched the term better, but this is just again to apologize for that oversight, the insensitivity, and to highlight that my use of this term was not meant maliciously. Following this being pointed out, I proceeded to make 3 separate apology posts [Unfortunately I can only find the third one: HERE], renamed the fic, and added slur warnings in both the tags and the fic description. When I continued to receive complaints and increasingly aggressive abuse (which included being told my apologies weren’t good enough and I should delete my account and even kill myself), I attempted to delete the fic and mistakenly abandoned it instead. I contacted AO3 to see if it could be removed, but they said there was nothing they could do. I contacted their DMCA takedown team, who also said they couldn't remove it. Please note that all this happened 7-8 months ago, and has been dragged on for almost a year. 

So, from this one unfortunate incident, I’ve been branded a racist, and someone who attacks POC, when all I have done is tried to defend myself and correct my past mistakes. I could have done this more gracefully in the past, but frankly when you’re suddenly the target of unrelenting callout posts and nasty anons, it’s very hard to be open to criticism of this sort, but this is what I’m trying to move past.

Over the course of the year, this one mistake has spiralled, and the crusade against me has somehow coincided with moral conflicts over certain characters and ships. This has devolved into dehumanizing abuse, witch hunts, death threats, doxxing, anon hate, and much more unpleasant behaviour.

I have been in fandom for a very long time, and at the heart of all fandom circles is the fear of censorship and subsequent purges, so the ‘ship and let ship’ mentality was more or less the pinnacle of fandom philosophy. And yes, this can be problematic in some contexts. People have their right to be uncomfortable with content, have a right to be offended by content, but that is not content meant for you. This argument has devolved into ‘what material is morally right to engage with’ and that is a mentality in which fandom will not survive, because for every person who is telling me I’m an awful person for writing about Micah, there are three other people telling me how much they appreciate me making that content. For every fic in which I characterize Javier and Flaco a certain way, some people are made uncomfortable by it and others tell me they enjoy it. And this isn’t just white people, but POC too, which makes it very difficult to know whether I am genuinely in the right or the wrong, especially when it comes to the concept of ‘fetishization’ which I have been made aware I need to educate myself on. I intend to do so, but I disagree with the common accusation that finding non-white men romantically and sexually attractive is inherently fetishistic and makes me racist. It’s pushing a catch-22; don’t find POC sexually attractive? Racist. Find POC sexually attractive? Racist.

I am always willing to be (politely) approached about anything my readers may be concerned about, but if it’s something I’ve specifically tagged for (such as themes, scenarios, etc.) I’m afraid you consented to reading it and with that I cannot help you. You are just as responsible for curating your space and what you see/read just as much as I am responsible for tagging it appropriately.  

On the topic of racism, I want to bring up my prior use of ‘white racism’ which has obviously been a point of contention among both white and people of colour. The (literal) black vs white concept of racism is incredibly American-centric, and as someone from Europe, which has a history of oppression against white cultures and those of people of colour, it feels inaccurate. However, this has recently been discussed with me and I came to the realization that while growing up, especially in the UK, ‘xenophobia’ and ‘racism’ were marketed as one and the same. So, with this little revelation in mind, I will no longer be using ‘white racism’ (Or ‘reverse racism’) to identify the abuse I have been receiving, but will instead call it by what it really is; dehumanizing, debasing, xenophobic, puritanical.   

Very briefly, I will also touch on the NewAustin situation, which has also been dredged into this. I did not ‘chase a POC from tumblr’. NA was a minor who for some reason was on my 18+ blog and took issue with me, likely from the ongoing discourse regarding my fic and initial mistake, as well as my interest in Micah. They were subsequently harassed into deleting their account by anonymous hate following various conflicts with other users for their support of me or their ships in general. I have never encouraged my followers to target anyone, and have always asked to be blocked and blacklisted by those who do not like me or my content. When NewAustin messaged me following the deletion of their blog, I was admittedly indifferent to the point of being unkind, and accused them of sending the hate themselves. This was based on the anon hate being racially-driven without there being any prior knowledge or publication that NA was a person of colour. This aside, I should have at the time, whether I believed it was my followers or not, condemned this behaviour. Regardless of the issues I’ve had with these people, it is never ever ok to send hate to anyone, no matter the motivation behind it, and that should have been stated at the time.

All I can do at this point is acknowledged and apologize for my past mistakes, and try to improve myself going forward.  

It is not my place to dictate the morals of the character/ship-aspect of this argument, and I am not interested in waging a war of opinion. This post is simply to clarify how I am involved in this, and why I am so viscerally targeted. You can draw your own conclusions, but I am no longer interested in this endless back and forth.

To my mutuals/followers, I stand by my request to not interact and to block and move on, as this is what I’ll be doing too.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope it makes things from my perspective a little clearer.

-RAT <3

EDIT: Just after this post was made, the fic in question was finally removed. I had to go through a DMCA take down, which can take months, since I originally abandoned the fic, thinking that meant delete. I explain this in more detail above. Said fic is gone, and has been gone since this post has been around.

[bakujho]

Strap in folks, it’s rant time.

So, let's talk a bit about manipulation and abuse present in fandom. It’s uncomfortable, but fuck it lets go, I’m tired of the “good vibes only” push that sweeps all this shit under the rug. I’m not pretending to be an expert by a longshot here and I’m happy to discuss, but I have dealt with enough abusive and manipulative people personally and professionally to spot em a fucking mile away and generally keep my distance. Unfortunately, I’ve noticed a gross trend where there are people being attacked, then are guilted into keeping quiet because the Abusers make it seem like it’s not worth mentioning or that it doesn’t really matter... Unfortunately, the Abusers know exactly what they’re doing, they’re really fucking good at it, and they know exactly the kind of response they’re going to receive (because in some cases, this isn’t the first fandom they’ve pulled this same shit in). 

Right off the bat though, lets get some basic facts about fandom out of the way. No one in fandom owns any character: be it interactions, personality or anything else about said character. No fandom creator owns an idea, or has any right to tell people off for having similar ideas/techniques/styles etc. There’s no such thing as a completely original singular thought, and pretty sure if you think of something ‘original’, there’s inspiration from another source. No one owns a hairstyle, a costume, a backstory, a colour scheme, an item, a scar etc etc. If someone has a similar thing, neat, clearly you’ve got similar tastes. If someone has a carbon copy of your creation on multiple points, ABSOLUTELY question it, but having the same hairstyle isn’t copyright infringement, and having a similar history isn’t ripping someone off, it’s coincidence. 

Going to put the rest under the cut, CW for manipulation tactics, abuse, and all those sorts of goodies.

So, I’ll start with the Abusers here. Everyone knows who they are, they know who they are, unfortunately the victims of them are worried about speaking out because, for the most part, the ones abusing people are in a position of perceived power and speaking out against them can put the victim in a tricky position. No one wants to be ousted from a fandom they enjoy for speaking out against someone that’s been around fandom since its inception. Which brings me to my first point.

Power: Abusers LOVE the feeling of having power (be it follower count, general clout, perceived hierarchy etc) and get really uncomfortable when they feel someone new comes to threaten their position. So, what do these people do in that situation? Option A is to completely ignore and hope they’re not dethroned, Option B is befriend immediately and subtly manipulate the person to keep a close eye on their actions. Keep your friends close, but enemies closer amirite? 

So how the fuck does a person subtly manipulate another person, shouldn’t it be obvious? Fuck man, I wish. But there’s a lot of different techniques used to keep people reigned in and submissive: guilt tripping, evasion/diversion, attention seeking, lying, intimidation, playing the victim etc etc. So obviously these will all present differently based on the abuser, but the goal of all of them is the same. To stay in power, and keep control over everything they can. 

So how would all of these present online? (of course these examples leave some wiggle room for context lost in text/translation/cultural differences etc, but for the most part it all fits the same pattern that the abuser would use in a face to face situation). 

Guilt- tripping: “Well you wouldn’t be here if not for me” “You owe me for your place in the fandom” “well if we really were friends you’d do this for me…” etc etc. Things that pit your emotional attachment to the Abuser against you, the closer you are, the easier it is. Suddenly the Victim finds themselves indebted to the Abuser for their ‘friendship’ that the Victim didn’t realize was conditional. 

Shaming: Invalidating the victims feelings by saying things like “even a child knows better than this”, “it’s okay you don’t understand, you’re probably young”, “I’ve been around fandom longer so I know how things go” etc etc. It makes the Victim feel like they’ve done something wrong by drawing boundaries for themselves, or sticking up for themselves. Remember, the Abuser doesn’t want to lose their crown so they will talk down to their Victims to make them more unsure of their stance, second guess themselves, and feel bad that they spoke up in the first place. 

Projection: “Others have done X to me, I would NEVER do the same” It’s a simple yet effective tactic. The Abuser takes the things they’ve done to people, say it happened to them, and shift the blame to the now faceless enemy so the Victim feels obligated to side with the abuser because, yea, those things mentioned fucking SUCK and no one wants to experience it. No one wants to be that asshole saying “no you deserved it” (because no one fucking deserves to be doxxed, swatted, hacked, etc etc)

Playing-the-victim: Abusers LOVE playing this game. It’s their bread and butter to set the stage for manipulation. “Having a really hard time rn, sorry im such a fuckup”, “struggling with mental health”, “this is all so hard for me” (legit though, if you are struggling please seek help where/when you can, mental health is important). So any of these statements alone can be harmless, and overlooking someone's mental health can have dangerous outcomes, HOWEVER, when these sort of statements are paired with the other things mentioned, it’s no longer simply a vent or a way to work past personal demons, it’s a way to gain sympathy and support, and it is very intentionally done to garner that emotional response from those that will listen to them. 

Attention-Seeking: can be as simple as “no one interacts with me anymore”, making a dramatic vague post, deleting that same post and making a newer, more dramatic post but this time seeking affirmation from the good responses of the last post, posting cryptic messages that ooze “ask me what happened” (vaguebooking is a plague), basically anything that is asking for a response without asking. How is it manipulative though? Guilt. If you’re aware of the Abuser, these types of posts are meant to abuse the Victim's sense of empathy, the natural response to these sorts of posts is “what happened, I’m sorry that happened to you”. 

Diversion/Evasion: straight up changing the subject or switching the blame to anywhere BUT the Abuser. The Abuser says “change X you’re copying me”, the Victim responds “I feel I didn’t copy you”, and the Abuser presses “well the fandom might not think so” and changes it from a personal issue to a larger, more aggressive problem. In this case, the Abuser is the ONLY one with a problem, but are purposely misleading the victim to take the blame off themselves. It’s not THEIR problem, it’s the FANDOMS problem...now making it the Victims problem. 

Blame: Abusers love to blame everyone BUT themselves for their perceived problems. Fandom isn’t interacting with them as much? It’s the fandom that’s dying. More drama in the fandom? Well there’s too many people here now. Getting called out for bad behavior? That’s the problem of the person who CLEARLY doesn’t understand how fandom must work. It’s the age old tale of “I’m perfect, it’s obviously everyone else who is wrong”. At what point does the Abuser realize that they may be the cause for their own misery? They don’t. 

Intimidation: This is a fun one that’s usually a last resort because if the Abuser is pretending to be a sheep caught in a snowstorm, it doesn’t look good for them to publicly announce they’ve been the wolf the whole time. It looks like “well I have X on you”, “if you only knew what I could say about you”, and “I could ruin you” type shit. Of course, in most cases, the Victim hasn’t done anything to warrant this sort of aggression, but the queen is losing her pawns and is now grasping for anything to fight back with. And who knows what sort of lengths the Abuser has gone to to gain information on the victim. It’s pretty easy to find out a lot about a person online, so the Victims back down due to the threat of the unknown.

Avoidance: refusing to talk about the problem, which is an issue I have with fandom itself, in this case. The “no drama good vibes only” is so fucking detrimental when there are problems that need to be addressed. An Abuser will push the narrative that they’re only here for a good time and don’t want drama, while actively creating drama in the shadows. Its not a problem if we don’t talk about it, right? If no one knows, it’s fine. It’s fine. No, it’s manipulative, and if there are problems they NEED to be talked about, because that’s how you find resolutions. 

Denial: This one ties in with avoidance and blame, in that the Abuser will straight up deny that they’ve ever been, or have ever created a problem. The Victim is making a big deal from nothing, they can’t control how others feel about them, so they’ve done nothing wrong. The Abuser will claim they had the best intentions when approaching someone, so clearly they have done nothing wrong. 

Lying: Including omitting any information from arguments that may paint the Abuser in a bad light. The Abuser absolutely doesn’t want anyone to find out what they’re up to, so they’ll say exactly what they need to to change the narrative surrounding them. It could be minor changes to conversations to complete fabrications. Ex “I only approached X to make sure they were okay after X happened”, but X screenshots tell a completely different story. It’s not always easy to catch an Abuser in a lie, especially when there’s the push for “no drama” so no one talks about their personal experiences and can confirm/deny what was/reported to be said. 

So bringing all of those points together and bringing it back to the Abuser wanting to have the power to control what they like/don’t like in fandom. Once they have that feeling of invincibility, they may coyly ask people to delete posts that could lead back to them looking bad, politely ask another creator to change their creation because the Abuser doesn’t like it, or them asking nicely to stop interacting with another member of fandom the Abuser doesn’t like. It may not seem like much at a first glance...after all they asked nicely. However, once you look a little harder and a little longer, it becomes very clear that the intention is to stay in control. The Abuser will do ANYTHING to stay on top, and will employ every trick they have in their arsenal to sew discord and mistrust amongst other members of the fandom to keep the fingers pointed anywhere but at themselves.

So, sound familiar to anyone? My inbox is open for anyone who wants to chat about the topic. If I’ve now made you uncomfortable and you’re going to unfollow/block, cheers, wish you the best. And if you’re feeling called out and attacked by my post? GOOD, stop being a fucking shitty person. 

A few last reminders before adding some resources:

Setting and enforcing personal boundaries is not abuse.

Choosing not to interact with those who make you uncomfortable is not rude.

It is important to call out abuse when you encounter it, it could save someone from becoming a victim themselves.

Always stand up for yourself, you’re your own best advocate. 

Now for some resources: I used a few of these while researching along with my old textbooks from my psych, abnormal psych, and human relations classes I took back in university.

Manipulation tactics

How to recognize a guilt trip

How to spot an attention seeker

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Admittedly it’s been awhile since I watched Skam or looked through their instagram posts, but in my memory it always felt like the instas were just used to give another glimpse into the characters, never anything really flashy, and the way each character used their accounts always felt really true to who they were. But I think the remakes use it way more as an extension of the storylines and it feels less realistic? (For lack of a better word) Like a lot of posts just feel like pure

staged fan service (see: Wtf, Skamfr) or they go a little overboard with content (see: Druck) that goes beyond what I’d actually envision the characters “sharing”. I don’t know if that makes sense? And I could be idealizing how Skam used it too, since like I said it’s been awhile since I looked at the og stuff. But yeah, I feel like the remakes have turned the social media aspect of the shows into a bit of a cringefest. 😳 What do you think?

Hi anon 📳 Sorry for the delay, I think this is a very interesting ask, and I wanted to think about it a bit before answering.  

I’ll leave aside the question of realism, which you noted yourself you used for lack of a better word. I think at this point the discussion about the way Skam approaches “realism” is more nuanced than how it was used when there wass only one Skam.   

I guess I would say that Skam used the instagram accounts mainly in two ways: 1) so the characters could all show how they wanted other people to see them, and 2) as the cherry on top to a character arc, when the character would post something more vulnerable on his/her ig account. 

I think in general the remake teams didn’t fully get the point of the ig accounts because these teams weren’t really fans who followed Skam as it dropped. They came to the ig accounts as a finished product. 

Skam France posted a veritable torrent of content for s1 and s2, and I think some of it was really good. I really liked Yann’s ig account, for instance. I thought his posts really leaned on Jonas’ political side, which not all remake Jonases did. I also liked that the girl squad would hang out at random places (like a Sephora and a park iirc) without Manon, in s2, to show how Manon was growing distant from the squad because of her relationship with Charles. 

But one thing that started with Skam France was creating ig content for every clip. So that when a clip dropped, a bunch of pics and stories from every character involved in the scene would also drop. I think this is just not really necessary? Most high school students don’t document every school day like this, or even document every time they go to the movies, meet up to discuss fundraising ideas, go buy some snacks at a convenience store, and so on and so forth. 

On the other hand, we also have to allow for the idea that technology marches on. When Skam was airing, ig stories were still pretty new. Most people posted memes and random shit to their instagram feed, rather than to their stories. Nowadays feeds are more curated, and stories are for shitposting. So one aspect of how Skam used igs, which was to post content that would clearly define a character (such as Paradise Hotel memes for Eva, cheesy inspirational quotes for Vilde, or news clips for Sana) would probably all just go on stories nowadays. Compare the Skam igs with the Skam Austin igs in s1 (or, like, your memory of the Austin igs, since FB deleted them............), which were also created by Julie Andem and Mari Magnus, and we can already see some changes in the way teens used instagram (even allowing for cultural differences between Norway and the US). The pics would look “better” as in more professional, better lit, better angles used. Whereas the Skam characters seemingly would take a pic and then posted it, it was as if the Austin characters had taken a bunch of pics and posted only the really good ones. I also don’t remember the Austin characters posting memes either to their feed or even to their stories. 

When it comes to Druck... I absolutely agree that I don’t really buy high school students would post that much content and so personal, and it also loses the effect when there’s so much content posted. For instance, Nora’s Nov 13 post is the first time Zoe appears in Nora’s ig feed, which was a momentous occasion because Zoe confessed to her sister that she felt judged by Nora. But Nora had previously posted so much Zoe content on her stories, that the milestone of posting Zoe to her feed went unnoticed.

But then on the other hand, Druck has a limited episode runtime (where Skam didn’t) and viewers have consistently responded favorably to the Skams developing storylines on social media away from the main. People ate it up when Isak posted pics of his life with Even in s4. And I don’t necessarily dislike the concept of giving more meaning to certain lines or moments by adding context over social media. E.g.: without social media, we would have little to no idea what Finn and Zoe argued about towards the end of the season. Thanks to the chats we do, and thanks to the ig content, we’re actually invested in Finn and Zoe working out, because we’ve seen them act coupley in so much content. What about Kiki and Carlos’ apartment? Would we care that much about it if there hadn’t been so much content of the gen 1 characters “renovating” it? 

Since we’re talking about different remakes, I admit I’ve never been a huge fan of how much content the Skam España characters posted. Much like with Skam France, I feel like sometimes they just shot content to go with the clip, pretty much to promote the clip in a way, and when I look at their feeds now, I just feel there are so many generic posts that are super cute, yes, but don’t really tell me anything about the characters or what they were going through at the time or what they wanted people to think their lives were like at the time. To be clear, a lot of their posts do tell me stuff about the characters and what they were going through and what they wanted people to think their lives were like. But many of those posts could be gone and I wouldn’t miss them. For me, it’s the difference between having Mari Magnus, who for so long was Julie Andem’s right hand woman and assisted in every step of creating Skam, come up with and post the ig content, and hiring someone like Gominuke, a well-known influencer, who knows how to use ig to promote a product. While we’re talking about the way a social media manager’s background and personality will affect the sm content for the Skam, Druck hired Farid-Philippe Bouatra starting with s2, and he was really good at coming up with reasons why introverted characters such as Matteo would post consistently (#MatteoMonday and #FlorenziFriday). 

Anyway. Obviously Skam France hiring professional photographers for their sm content and posting these photoshoots to the characters’ accounts is cringy as all fuck, and no one beats Wtfock at generic, bland posts that don’t say anything about who a character is, what they’re going through or what they want people to think their lives are like. There was a time where I was slightly salty about Wtfock characters posting more memes and shitposts than the Skam España characters, but that all went away after oh, the 20th generic food post coming out of Antwerp. People come at Nora Grace for her feminist posts, but do we want to talk about Zoë’s abundance of shallow “girl power!” (I will not call those posts feminist) pics? Or what about literally monetizing the social media by having Kato post a legit ad for makeup? 

[moneypedia]

How to Defend Against False Accusations: A Personal Defense and 5 Guidelines to Protect The Truth

August 5, 2018 By Drew Shepherd

[Note: This post contains details about an undiagnosed case of borderline personality disorder (BPD). These details are included for informational purposes only, not to spread hate towards people with the illness.

If you or a loved one have been diagnosed with BPD, however, you may want to avoid this article.]

Guilty until proven innocent.

That’s the new norm these days.

Our current social climate has made it empowering to be a victim. And any abusers left standing must be exterminated—whether they’re guilty or not.

Please don’t think I’m downplaying the experience of actual victims though.

I know what it’s like to be among the lowest of society, and the struggle of real victims is part of the inspiration behind this site.

But the inconvenient truth is that all these “abusers” aren’t the monsters they’re made out to be.

Why do I say that you ask?

Because I’m one of them.

And this is my story.

The Accusation(s)

During my early twenties, I got involved with a girl who I later realized had borderline personality disorder (BPD).

I’ve already written about the experience and I’ve alluded to it multiple times since. So please read that article before this one if you haven’t already.

BPD is a serious mental illness, but most people have never heard of it, let alone know how to diagnose it.

If you’re not aware of how people with the disorder act, this post will come off as a rant against an innocent girl who liked me—which couldn’t be further from the truth.

But to summarize, the most notable symptom of BPD is the inability to regulate emotions. It’s a symptom so powerful that a sufferer’s feelings can define his or her reality. And this is what leads to many false accusations.

Manipulation, emotional abuse, cheating, promiscuity—she publicly accused me of all them.

It’s part of the process of “painting someone black.” The BPD person goes through cycles of both extreme love and hate for their loved one, but once the relationship ends, the other party is permanently devalued.

Of course this treatment is reserved for those in close relationships with the BPD sufferer. Outsiders will only see a victim pleading her case.

I’ve stayed quiet on these accusations so far since most of them don’t have any substance, but I unfortunately made one mistake that appears to give her claims some validity.

So I’m sure that she already has, or eventually will use this evidence against me. And if her false accusations were to gain traction, they would not only destroy my reputation, but also the legitimacy of the message I present on this site.

The latter is my primary reason for defense.

I’ve always said that the Bible is the basis for my moral judgment, and that couldn’t be more important than in sexual matters.

Now do I always control my lustful impulses and thoughts?

And do I always prevent myself from viewing images I shouldn’t see?

No.

I’m a Christian but I’m still a sinful human being. Controlling lust is part of the lifelong battle against sin in the Christian life.

But when it comes to things like fornication and adultery, I’ve held true to my stance on abstinence.

And as tough as it is to be a twenty-something with this stance in our sex-saturated world, it’s beyond frustrating to be accused of doing the complete opposite.

I’m an ambassador for what I believe. And I can’t allow anything on this site—faith-related or not—to be diminished because of one person’s claims.

So I’ll go into detail here about what really happened, and then I’ll show you how to defend against false accusations once and for all.

Drew “The Player”

I’ll preface my story with a little background information.

I was going into my last semester in college, and it had been about a year since I saw my accuser in person.

Things didn’t end well between me and her the last time we were “together.” But I was admittedly still interested in her—even with all the red flags.

It appeared that both of us were sad with the way the first go ‘round ended. So I foolishly tried to work something out with her before the semester started.

To my surprise, I was ignored and indirectly shot down.

How a normal girl would’ve reacted

It hurt pretty bad after putting myself out there for someone I thought still cared. But rejection is a part of life, so I moved on.

What’s crazy though, is that she changed her mind at some point afterwards. And even though I never got a direct response from her, she apparently assumed we were in a quasi-relationship.

Now fast forward to February.

It was the week of Valentine’s Day. And while I did still think of her, I wasn’t sending a Valentine’s Day anything to a girl who I didn’t trust, who now lived in a different state, and who couldn’t even respond to my direct communication.

The only reason I entertained the thought of us getting back together—if we were ever truly together in the first place—was because she hoovered me back in.

Hoovering is a term that describes actions similar to what its namesake, the Hoover vacuum does.

It’s a tactic people with personality disorders subconsciously use to suck loved ones back in after a failed relationship.

In this case, she used one of the social media apps we both had to convince me that she was open to a renewed relationship, and that she had changed for the better.

But at this point, I was just focused on schoolwork because I had no clue what this girl was thinking.

I had a senior project for an external company that took most of my time that semester.

My project group and I met just about every weekday. And at the time, we were all trying to meet a deadline coming up the next week.

The day after Valentine’s Day, one of my teammates mentioned that we should go play trivia at a local bar. But being the introverted party-pooper I am, I declined.

My schedule involved waking at around 5:30 each day. My teammates were always out too late for my liking, and I knew I’d never make it back in time to get enough sleep if I went.

So I gave the whole, “Thanks, but no thanks” spiel even though I knew they wouldn’t let me off that easy.

Our team was a pretty tight group—especially for four people who were assigned to each other at random.

We had a ton of inside jokes by the end of the semester. And they were the first to tease me at graduation because my honor stole nearly fell as I walked across the stage.

So naturally, they all had a good laugh at me for not wanting to miss my bedtime.

Of course it was all playful fun though. I did get back at them numerous times over the semester, but I’ll admit that I have an off-kilter personality that lends itself to being teased.

So anyway, we went our separate ways and I headed to bed.

The next day, I saw an email from the night before saying that I was invited to a school-specific social app. I didn’t see the email until the early morning though because I went to bed early.

I had never heard of the app before and I was skeptical. So my first thought after waking and reading the email was, “What the heck is (app name here)?”

My second thought was, “Who’s the funny guy who sent this?”

Now I knew it was someone who previously had my email address.

Of course any student could have pulled that info from the school’s directory, but I doubt anyone would have gone through the trouble of searching their class roster, finding me, and then using my email address for the sake of hitting me up on an app.

So it had to be someone with whom I worked with closely or had a personal relationship with.

With these facts in mind, I falsely concluded that it was a prank from my teammate that the rest of the group was in on.

They had just gone out together the night before. And they always found a way to mess with me—even when I wasn’t around.

So just like any other time I felt I was being pranked, manipulated, or taken advantage of, I played along with the hope that the other party wouldn’t realize until it was too late (and this has been my M.O. since I was a kid).

But doing this, in hindsight, was a terrible idea.

Any form of participation on what I later realized was a hookup app would paint me in a bad light. And the consequences of my actions weren’t as clear at 5:30 in the morning.

After I made a quick profile—complete with pictures no man would ever use if he was truly seeking casual sex—I waited about 15 minutes for a response that never came.

Then after realizing how bad my actions could appear without context, I quickly deleted the app and went on with my day.

I’m not sure if I completely wiped the profile I created. But since the app was lesser-known and low key about its hookup aspect—it’s not like I signed on to Tinder—I figured this wouldn’t be a problem.

Outside of my own actions with the invite and the app though, I don’t know anything else. But there’s a chance that a troll profile made 10 minutes after I woke could end up biting me. And that’s why I’ve chosen to address it.

Now, I’m almost certain this invite was from my accuser. And I still kick myself for not recognizing the true source of the bait.

My actions gave her the apparent confirmation that I was “playing the field.” And within the week, she either started, or just made it obvious that she was sleeping with another guy to spite me—a wild and disproportionate response to the thought that your S.O. may be seeing someone else.

So once I confirmed that this actually happened, I ghosted her and all her drama, focused on my schoolwork (which led to my first 4.0), and then went along with my life.

People with BPD are notorious for doing stuff like this. It’s the reason why a popular book covering the illness is called Stop Walking On Eggshells (affiliate link):

They’ll cry about a lack of communication but then ignore you when you reach out to them.

They’ll go on about how lonely they are while sleeping with one of their (or even your) “friends” behind your back.

They’ll say you’re too stupid to complete a task but discredit you when you do it, and then raise the bar higher so you won’t reach the new mark.

After a while you won’t know what to do because she’ll never be satisfied. And everyone else will chalk it up to you not knowing how to treat a woman.

No-win situations and constant testing are common to those in relationships with these people—especially in regards to anything sexual. So I presume the invite was a test to see if I was some dirtbag who would cheat on his partner.

Now I’d hesitate to call it cheating either way since she ignored my attempts to directly communicate, and I had no idea what our relationship status was.

But the other “fact” she gathered was that I was a player who enjoyed casual sex (an assumption that would have driven a younger me mad with laughter).

Look, I understand that I don’t have a squeaky-clean Christian boy appearance—going through trials doesn’t purify the outside after all.

But that doesn’t mean I partake in the same activities those who look like me may be into. And it for sure doesn’t mean that my moral character is anything different than what I present on this site.

Of course it doesn’t help that I’m black either…but I won’t go down that road.

I should also note that I don’t have a personal Facebook or Instagram account. So it’s tough for others to know much about my life unless they read this site or talk to me or my loved ones personally.

This blank space makes me an easy target for accusations since I can be unknowingly attacked through mediums where I can’t defend myself. And there are no videos of me playing with my dog to fill the holes left by my “shady” lifestyle.

Usually this isn’t a problem as most of the people I meet don’t care about my online presence. But of course there’s always one person who assumes the worst case scenario. And it’s sad that in my case, this person was someone I genuinely liked before.

These obsessive behaviors were nothing new though:

This same girl cried sobbed in the middle of one of our classes—when we were both in our twenties mind you—because I didn’t initially return her interest.

She would go from spaced-out to depressed and then stare at me like it was my fault.

She even accused me of cheating after seeing a pic my mom took of me when I was at dinner with my family.

So you can imagine the relief I felt when I closed the door on that for good.

At this point, the only ones who still believe her lies—or to be fair to the illness she has, her reality—are people I’ve never met.

But I’m not even mad anymore. I’m just annoyed that my life is still negatively affected because I fell for the wrong girl.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the honest truth.

How to Craft Your Defense

So now that my story’s out of the way, how do you fight your own false accusations?

It’s not too difficult.

Just follow these 5 guidelines to protect yourself in both the present, and the future:

1) Remember the Alibi

As tempting as it is to piece together a story that makes you look like a saint, you have to ensure the truth you present is actually…well, true.

Since I couldn’t remember all this off the top of my head, I dug through my old emails and group conversations to get the timeline right. And I could always use them again if legal action was involved.

It also helps that I have an archive of posts here that clearly present my personality and the mistakes I’ve made.

You can even compare this post to the one I wrote on BPD earlier and you’ll see numerous similarities. If anyone thought I was lying, they could search the other 40+ posts here too to see that the story adds up.

But if you don’t have thousands of words as supporting evidence, just take your time, breathe, and write down what happened as best as you remember.

False accusations can cloud your memory when you first hear them, and your emotions will push for a raw defense. But if you start writing what you remember, you can put that passion to good use now, and update your writing later with more facts.

A story set in writing will be a great resource to have. You don’t want to lean on your memory or your speech when the pressure’s on.

If you write down what happened, you’ll also find other bits of evidence you’ll need to prepare your defense. And if your audience is really concerned with the truth, they’ll take all the info they can get.

2) Compare the Fruit

Perhaps the easiest way to expose the shakiness of false accusations is to note the shakiness of the accuser’s lifestyle.

This is by far my least favorite technique though since it appears to be an attack on character instead of the accusation itself. But understand that those two targets aren’t mutually exclusive.

A person who usually acts one way is almost certain to do it again.

And no, that fact isn’t judgmental. It’s simple probability.

This is going to sound like I’m bragging about my accomplishments and attacking her character, but let’s compare some notable points about my life and my accuser’s:

I improved to at least a 3.5 GPA in my last four college semesters within a STEM major. But I’ll admit my accuser was booksmart, so we’re pretty much even there.

I have never gotten blacked-out drunk (or even consumed alcohol). I have never taken an illegal substance. And I have never lived a promiscuous lifestyle. My accuser has done, and probably still does, all three.

I landed a stable job in my field more than a month before I graduated, and I’m still employed there today. My accuser barely held a job as a bar server about a year after graduating with the same degree.

Again, I don’t like expressing my achievements, and I never want to attack anyone’s character. We all make mistakes, and I made one of the biggest mistakes any student ever will (which she contributed to by the way).

But when someone’s lifestyle displays a clear pattern of incompetence, recklessness, and mental instability, the validity of their claims also takes a hit.

And that’s without mentioning that I’ve written the equivalent of a book here at HFE—a site where I cover my own shortcomings just as much, if not more than my accomplishments—on my own time and dollar because I believe it will help others.

So knowing all this, let me ask you, who do you think is telling the truth?

A tree’s fruit always gives it away.

Know who you are and know who you’re dealing with so any other lies are dismissed as the jokes they are.

3) Change “I” to “We”

The most unfortunate thing about false accusations is that no one’s waiting to hear a verdict.

As soon as those words leave your accuser’s mouth, you will be facing much more than one person.

Friends, family, social circles, even whole communities may turn against you.

And what began as a defense against one liar becomes a battle against an entire army.

So what do you do when this multitude of warriors stands against you?

It’s simple.

You gather the troops.

Find people who can vouch for your story. Get help from friends who aren’t blinded by the lies. Ask people who were neutral bystanders to explain what happened since they’re not biased.

I know I can get anyone from former classmates, friends, and family members to acknowledge the truth of my claims.

And since I know the mental issues my accuser deals with, I can also refer to a psychologist or another mental health resource.

An understanding of my accuser’s mind is one of the best counters to her claims. Yes, she acts in unstable ways, but they’re predictably unstable, and numerous people have experience with the problem I have now.

You shouldn’t be afraid to get professional help either.

Lawyer up if it’s serious enough.

Slander and libel are legit crimes. And if you can prove that your life is heavily impacted, especially financially, you may have a case.

So don’t go at this alone. You can bet your accuser isn’t.

4) Go One and Done

The biggest mistake people make when presenting any argument, defense, or reasoning is that they over-explain themselves.

Sure, you want to be as thorough as possible in your explanation, and you should reference points of that original argument to answer questions. But there’s no need to add to your stance or sate a mind that will never believe you.

If you’ve taken the necessary steps to present and defend the truth, you have to live with the results.

Learn to be comfortable with the fact that everyone won’t like, listen to, or believe you. Because the more you add to your original defense, the weaker it will appear.

You’ll also introduce more room for error. And it would be a shame for a memory lapse to cause an otherwise solid defense to fail.

Remember that it’s only your job to present the truth. Not to make others believe it.

I’m confident that my defense removes any ammo my accuser has left. So now the only claims she can bring against me are accusations of neglect—which don’t matter since I’m not her parent—or causing hurt feelings—which isn’t a crime in America yet.

I presented the truth one time, and now there’s no need to address her claims again.

Every accusation doesn’t deserve a response. So stay true to what really happened, and let people think what they want afterwards.

5) Don’t Even Fake It

These accusations have made me realize the importance of the Bible’s command to, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:22 KJV)

It’s not enough to just avoid evil acts. You have to avoid situations where you could possibly do them too.

For instance, plenty articles on false accusations describe how to protect yourself against false rape claims. But if someone can accuse you of something like rape without an obvious fabrication, you are in over your head.

You can’t reach the point where a verdict is decided by a “yes” or “no.”

It’s one of the many reasons you shouldn’t sleep around in the first place. You are putting your life in the hands of someone who could easily change their mind in the morning. And you have to stay out of that gray area.

Remember to guard your character at all times. You never know when you’ll need to fall back on your integrity.

For example, I remember one conversation I had with a friend a few years back, and my accuser happened to be in the room.

My friend noticed that I received a few glances of interest from girls. So out of the blue he asked, “Drew, how many girls do you get?”

He chuckled while asking the question, so of course it wasn’t anything serious. He didn’t ask about anything explicitly sexual either.

So being the joker I am, I said something along the lines of, “I don’t know. I lost count.”

Then the both of us laughed it off.

But there’s a chance my accuser heard those words and immediately assumed the worst.

It would have been ridiculous to say something like:

“I’m sorry sir, but I am a Bible-believing man of God who has accepted the challenge to live righteously. How dare you imply that I live such a heinous lifestyle?!”

So I had a quick laugh and moved off the subject.

But even this could have added to her claims. So now I try not to even joke about stuff like that—at least not when I’m around people who barely know me.

You should do the same. But don’t limit your efforts to watching your tongue:

Always dress in a respectable manner.

Avoid the crazy nighttime venues—they’re magnets for people like my accuser.

And please don’t go to a hotel room belonging to a member of the opposite sex.

Presentation always matters.

Avoid the appearance of evil, and it’ll be impossible to even accuse you.

Grant Me That Chance

I’ve had enough headaches from my past relationship, and I’d rather not think about it anymore.

But it was important to defend myself here before any other false info leaked.

I hope none of it came across as too aggressive though. I wrote all of this to clear my name, not to get revenge.

From all I’ve seen, read, and now experienced, real victims don’t go out of their way to destroy their abuser’s life. They just want justice and a chance to finally move on.

So if anything else comes up about this, please remember this point and grant me that chance.

Contrary to what some people think, I don’t hate my accuser, and I hope she’s able to turn her life around.

If there was a normal version of her who didn’t have what she had, I’d love to meet her. But the ship has sailed on anything between me and the real her.

All I want now is peace and the freedom to live a good life. And I’m sure that’s all you want too.

So remember who you are, take a stand for the truth, and then defend it with your life.

And who knows? Someone else may come to your defense if you do.

-Drew

[helenarasmussen87]

Writing Asks

This the post where I know no one is going to ask me anyway.

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Something that is like a “Oh hey, what happens if we do THIS!” and go from there. Usually ends up having loads of emotions, comfort, angst, introspection, loads of kitchen sink dialogues, not too much action. Families, happy endings.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Fluffy stuff and humourous stuff. I am a little too serious for either one and my humour is drier than the desert and very odd. So no.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Teacher and Student relationships. Necrophilia, abuse of all sorts, underage. Just not my thing. I’ve gotten unable to stomach a lot of grimdark and super dark stuff as I get older so I won’t write it. But go ahead if that’s your thing.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Two, since I can’t have more than two on the burner. Learned THAT early on and they’re Terror AU’s One is a fixit, but with health complications and angst. The other is a Modern Day AU which has two professors falling in love after one gets injured and the other worked as an EMT and helps to take care of him and they fall in love.

5. Share one of your strengths.

I can offer insights on what flows and what doesn’t. I can also happily shred my own drafts if they don’t work. 

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

Action. I work at it, but it’s not my favourite. Or war writing. 

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Danny had to turn his head away to hide his smile, because he knew that it was a legitimate concern for Jose. Most of the time, he had jumped into bed with his partners first and then did the mating dance. 

Although extremely smart in other aspects, dating and social interactions were always a bit skewed, because he was always second-guessing himself and nervous as hell.

“That’s actually how things work out in these situations. At least it did for me and my ex and for me and Claude.” Danny explained calmly, making Jose nod and take another pull of his slurpee.

“So what do I do? Like is there a time when I bring up the possibility of us sleeping together?” Jose asked, the words slightly mumbled as he chewed on the straw.

“You don’t bring it up. You’ll just know when the time is right for it to happen. Sex isn’t what a relationship should be built on. Yes, it’s nice and it’s part of it, but it’s not the end all to be all. Trust me on this. It will happen if it’s meant to happen.” Danny explained, hoping that he had put it all in the plainest and simplest terms he could for his friend.

I am proud of this because it was majorly borrowing from life and I can see the difference from earlier writing. 

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Sergio laughed shortly. “I’ve already done enough of that, and look at where it’s gotten you. Yeah, legally I hold claim over you. I could make the club buy out your contract and sit at home all day, having litter after litter.”

Iker’s blood froze at that and he turned to look at Sergio to see if he really meant it, but Sergio’s face gave nothing away.

“Or I could sign your rights to the club and let them sell you wherever or to whomever. Take you out of Spain, or sell you to Getafe or Malaga. All of these things I could do. The club actually did bring it up at that meeting you didn’t show up for.”

Iker blinked, his hands going numb as Sergio’s wickedly honed words hit home.

“I’m not telling you this to hurt you. Or make you feel indebted. I’m telling this to you because you’re this close to losing your spot and that’s the last thing I want for you. But there’s only so much I can do for you.”

He sighed and looked at Iker dead in the eyes.

“I miss him too, Iker. I miss Antonio every fucking day. And I miss you.”

Iker swallowed hard as Sergio abruptly turned and left, slamming the front door and freeing him from the command so suddenly that Iker fell onto the couch and curled up in it.

He had no energy to do anything else. Not when he was all too aware he’d fucked up and fucked up big and needed to fix it.

Borrowed from life again and it was more of a dialogue that needed to be had when you finally realize how much you fucked up and how much you need to stop coasting and make it right. 

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

ALL OF THEM! Kidding. I want to say the one I’m working on right now. I was lucky enough I got a ton of help fleshing it out. I can see the end of the 1st chapter and I am having a hell of a time writing Goodsir’s chunk. He’s turned out more emo and romantic than I was expecting. 

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

The QuiObi prompts for the prompt week. Took me like two hours to knock them off and post. 

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

Its a passion and a hobby. It helped me through a lot of rough patches and keeps me sane. 

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Mostly music or a change in life. I tend to write when everything is in flux with me.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Just write. Worry about editing later. Once you have something on the paper, fixing it up becomes easier. 

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Edit as you write. You don’t get anything done.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Oooh. I think it’s a toss up between my Qui-Gon/Jango fic in a pastoral setting where they have put their pasts behind and are farmers on Concord Dawn. Or the Werewolf fic I wrote during my RPF phase.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Bloody hard. I would have to say Fitzier (Commander Fitzjames/Captain Crozier)

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Depends. Sometimes I go straight from beginning to end and sometimes I end up writing the middle and not figuring it out until later.

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Outlines. I have notebooks I jot down point form notes about the characters and the plot.

18. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

Mine is a librarian or an alchemist trying to figure out answers and how things fit in.

19. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

A good playlist. Alone, in my room.

20. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I revise it along the way when I sit down to write. Then before I post, I give it a once over to make sure it flows and makes sense. 

21. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

All my old fics are honestly gone so I’m skipping this one. 

22. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

Honestly? The Duo and Heero one I wrote about them being in an abusive relationship where they split up, then got back together again. I was again writing from life, and I have seen couples who did overcome it, but looking back, I think I should have written it that they separated and went their own ways. 

Keep in mind I was very young when I wrote this, and I was in an abusive relationship myself and didn’t realise it at the time. He hit me once, apologised and never did it again. But he did end up manipulating me, gaslighting me, and emotionally abusing me until I finally had enough and left. 

23. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Yes. Loads of them due to me not wanting to finish them. Or the hosting sites going under. 

24. What do you look for in a beta?

Someone who is honest, someone who knows the way I write, and has suggestions to fix those said things. But someone who is themselves is the best. Because they know what they want. Same here. 

25. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I do, simply due to lack of steady betas. Flow and story telling, but I also look for syntax and formatting as well as grammar. I will miss typos, so I run spell-check too. I mostly use a mental rubric. Teacher training.

26. How do you feel about collaborations?

I haven’t had a successful one due to the second person always deciding that they can’t follow through or up and disappearing. So I don’t do them.

27. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Oh my God! I read so much and so many different people that I can’t pinpoint three. I usually end up reading a fic or two, so I can’t say why I read the author.

28. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

I haven’t done that. I do admit to having inspired by fics. I wouldn’t ever presume to do that. It just feels like a snub.

29. Do you accept prompts?

Not really. I can’t tailor write stuff consistently. 

30. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

Oh always! I end up liking the characters that somehow never make it until the end. And in the Terror, unless you want to write angst all the time, you HAVE to ignore canon. And I mean BOTH the book and the show, since the book is nasty. The show is amazing, but oh my god is it depressing.

31. How do you feel about smut?

Yes damned please!

32. How do you feel about crack?

Depends on how well it’s done. Sometimes it is needed. Sometimes it’s like “Why?”

33. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

A bit tricky. I don’t mind non-con, but it has to be handled well. Dub-con, especially in A/B/O happens within context and it is usually dealt with. So I can tolerate that more than the first. Outright abuse, no.

34. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Yes. Not often thought. But yes. I usually try and keep as many alive as I can though.

35. Which is your favorite site to post fic?

AO3, its a wild place and I love it for that reason.

36. Talk about your current wips.

It’s an AU where two professors that live in the same building and work in different faculties get thrown together and start to get to know each other. Due to circumstance, one gets injured and the other kind of volunteers to help take care of him, where they fall in love. The others in the vicinity do also. There’s Canadian shenanigans and baking. 

37. Talk about a review that made your day.

That they really liked how I wrote Frank Randall and would like to see more with his son, an OC I created for the story.

38. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I either delete, or give a generic reply and leave it. I’ve got stuff to do.

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Nope. It just doesn’t work for me.

*somewhere I fucked up on the number but here you are*

Whoever wants to do this.

[dinosaur-anus]

Namjoon (something I wrote in 2016)

So I found this in my google drive while I was cleaning things out; I know I don’t post often on here anymore, but I couldn’t really bring myself to delete this without having it immortalized in some way. I was an ARMY from the beginning (2013), and I always will be, even if this tumblr account eventually goes completely inactive. Thanks for reading! 

I find Namjoon to be a really interesting person - his mannerisms, the way he speaks, walks, observes his surroundings, etc., is all very peculiar to me. I find myself watching him very intently, almost as if I'm trying to figure him out. There are many things about him that he keeps hidden. Like any other person, he has many layers and there are times where I'm subconsciously analyzing his behaviors. Of course he slips up from time to time; he's not perfect. In the past I, too, have said horrible things about people in order to fit into a crowd or appeal to a certain audience. But I've apologized and with the help of self reflection and self forgiveness, I've moved on. Watching him go through similar situations is inspiring and I can connect with him through that. I feel as though he is greatly misunderstood; he is almost always taken out of context when he says something 'controversial'. He is also greatly underappreciated- not just as a rapper, but also as a leader and a person. If he never persevered during his training while all of the previous BTS members were leaving, there wouldn't be BTS. People try to make it seem like he's trying to leave and go solo, but honestly I've never heard bigger bullshit in my life. You see the way he looks at them? I'm grinning now just thinking about it. Do you see the way he smiles at Tae and gently strokes his arm or back, or holds Jin's hand like it's a reflex, or how he pets Jimin's head when he's proud of him, or how he lets Jungkook hug the crap out of him even though Namjoon was initially only going for a handshake? Even the way he laughs at Hoseok's jokes and shakes his head but still gives him such a loving smile makes me happy. He talks about Yoongi like he's the fan and his elder is the celebrity. He goes on and on sometimes about how much he loves performing as a rap unit with him and Hoseok. He really values each member. He may express his affection differently than say, Jimin or Tae, but to me it is clear as day. He really adores them. And Jungkook has said countless times how much he looks up to him. It's obvious that Namjoon feels the pressure of being a role model to Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin. Even to the others, he's their rock. He holds onto all the stressful stuff and carries all their worries on his back. Why? Because he loves them. Not just because it's his job, but because he LOVES them. He's a gentle person who's hit bumps on the road throughout his life and is trying to make the best of the lessons he's learned. He's not perfect, but in Jungkook's eyes he's everything the kid wants to be. Passionate, determined, strong, ambitious, hardworking, resilient.. really I could go on. He's gone through a lot of shit as a teen, rapper, idol, and leader. People have said horrible things to him, and how he hasn’t tried to end it all is beyond me. Then again, he's much stronger than I am. I would've have crumbled under all the hate he gets. It's possible he's thought about it once or twice. He says he doesn't listen to his haters, but who knows if that's true other than him? Listening to songs like 'Too Much', emotion swells in my chest every time bc his pain is so /real/. His lyrics are beautiful and he delivers them with such raw emotion that it leaves me speechless. His frustration, anger, sadness - I can feel all of that when I listen to his music. 

A lot of the time I'm asking myself "what more does he have to do to prove himself to you people?". He is constantly bending himself backwards for us. He's trying his best to take care of his family (the boys) all the while going through his own personal struggles. When I read his thoughts on how differently he now views things such as 'courage' and ‘self-love’, I feel as though he is showing a part of himself to us that he usually keeps tucked away. And by showing us intimate sides of him, he's trying to create a more person-to-person relationship with his fans rather than a celebrity-to-fan relationship. He's actually said before how he wants fans to view him as just a regular person trying to make the world a better, more bearable place with his music. He's always giving us encouraging messages and making sure we're doing alright. He's even once said that he knows a lot of us are going through tough times and he hopes the sound of his voice is able to hug us because, physically, he cannot. And people brush that stuff under the rug as though he never said it. 

He allows his job to wear him down just so he could be there for the boys. He tries to hide the fact that he’s struggling sometimes, but I see it. I see the dark circles under his eyes, or the way he sits in the car silently while the others are shouting and making jokes. I see pictures of the members with him in the background staring into space or simply out of the window. I see how tired he is. I see his moments of exhaustion when he thinks the camera isn't there or the members aren't looking at him. I see how hard he works. I see the flash of fatigue in his eyes when he's done talking and the camera is moving on to the next person. I see the way he puts on a smile when Jimin walks up to him, or the way he leans into one of them absentmindedly to receive some kind of support. And I see how they give it to him. I see the looks of absolute wonder on Jungkook’s face whenever Namjoon speaks English. I remember every single time Jimin has said that he loves and appreciates Namjoon. I remember the time when Namjoon hugged each of them after winning an award and they happily hugged him back. I see the look of adoration in Tae’s eyes when he watches Namjoon speak or rap. I see the way Jin glows when Namjoon grabs the elder’s hand without thinking. When Yoongi talks about him he sounds like a proud brother. Yoongi knows Namjoon probably the most out of all of them. He knows all of the things Namjoon carries on his back, and he constantly reminds the boy that the more they share the burden, the farther they'll go. Hoseok has mentioned several times how inspiring he is and that he is a great friend and leader. Namjoon loves them so dearly, and they love him just as much. 

Why is it so hard for this fandom to love him too?

[tarot4bangtan-blog]

Introduction

Why I’m starting this blog and what kind of blog it will be:

Hi all! This introduction will hopefully find everyone interested in reading the predictions I post on the blog because I think the context is a huge motivation behind going public with my private tarot readings for BTS.

Right off the bat I have to give a shout out to @btstarot for inspiring me to make this account and I want to be clear about that, because many of my predictions currently (and will likely continue to) echo her own. I respect her so much as a reader and in no way wish to call her out, but I was one of the private readers who recently approached her with questions hoping to confirm some of my own recent readings on the group and her reaction (which she made clear was not just directed at me but at the fact that I was one of many who did something similar) was too publicly refuse to discuss the predictions of other readers. This genuinely surprised me since I was so excited when I discovered her accounts. It seemed like the perfect place to compare and discuss readings with all the other people who periodically look in on the boys with their cards but she was very defensive about whether or not I even read cards since she couldn’t seem to understand why I would have to ask for confirmations on my own readings from another person (a sentiment she repeated publicly on her twitter). I suppose I understand this logic on some level, and while I support her decision to delete all questions from people claiming to be readers, I think there should be a place where all private readers can discuss and confirm their readings on the boys without having to make blogs themselves. Theres no need for a million accounts all predicting the same things, which was exactly why I never considered making one myself as all of my predictions seemed to line up with hers so I thought it was unnecessary to just repeat everything she said.

But perhaps my blog WOULD have something different to offer. Perhaps my goal can simply be to both support her readings with my own as I know she gets a lot of people who argue with what her cards tell her, while making myself open to all people who want to discuss the info they themselves have gotten on BTS from their own predictive tools. I firmly believe that every intuitive person has a different perspective to offer, and perhaps if I can aggregate not just my own readings but those of people who don’t wish to suffer through the drama of running a controversial prediction account I can shed some light on a more fuller picture. Since not all info is appropriate to post, I welcome questions from readers who have seen the crazy things going on inside BTS and BH right now and yes that brings me to the infamous WOMAN.

So first I have to mention @btstarot again because she has said she has done a reading about a mystery woman currently affecting the group but she has given really no details, only promising to post the two readings she has already completed very soon.

I struggled with the timing of making this blog. Should I wait until she posts the big reveal that we’re all waiting for? Or would it be better to post something now, AFTER she claims to have already done her reading, so that we can help confirm the details we are both getting on her. The truth is, this woman is the very reason I approached her account in the first place. I saw her coming into the picture more heavily around this time about a month ago but the details were so insane I barely believed them. So I thought messaging her privately would allow me to confirm what I’d seen with a reader I trusted just because I myself couldn’t trust my own info it was so strange. Well, she made her feelings known by blocking me and I fully respect that. Obviously I should have gone deeper into her history to see she claims not to like to discuss the boys love lives. That was my mistake.

Well, I can understand that but this is different. This woman isn’t just a love interest, she’s a catalyst for a huge change in the company dynamic. She only has a relationship with one member and the details are strange so I’m still sussing them out but I think talking about this relationship is about more than just shipping gossip. It’s a relationship that going to bring the horrible things the entire group has had to endure for years up to the surface and it’s going to expose the horrors hidden between the lines of their slave contracts. What the member has been through to simply ATTEMPT to be in a relationship with her despite the company trying to maintain it’s iron tight control over him is astounding. And the biggest reason I feel comfortable going public with these predictions is that the member himself has internally decided to begin speaking out as best he can. He’s just very limited with how he can currently express himself.

Now, as I said I really debated whether or not I should post my reading on this woman now since @btstarot has one in the works, but after thinking about it I believe this is the best way to see if the readings she has already completed match the info I’ve been getting for weeks. The things is, I literally do not where to start with this girl other than basic info which I’ve narrowed down to this:

1. I believe she is an American citizen and has lived there her whole life. I can’t possibly know her full genetic background but she LOOKS very very very fair colored which indicates probably mostly white if not 100% caucasian. And I do not believe she speaks any language other than English.

2. She is 25-26 years old, but I believe her connection is to one of the younger members.

3. She is the daughter of a prominent farming family from the south. Possibly an agricultural heiress. I do not know why this specific detail keeps coming up other than a clue as to perhaps how she first came in contact with the member. This also explains why I can’t get a good reading on her career other than future business aspirations.

Beyond these details are many strange pieces of info I would love to discuss with others who read cards or make predictions and perhaps together we can suss out a picture of who this woman really is and how her relationship with this member will bring a positive change to the boys’ current situation. So while I anxiously await the readings from the @btstarot I will open up this blog for any and all questions about this woman and what the cards have told me about the events of this weekend which caused a disturbance just before the show in Seoul. I am not here to contradict anyones predictions or theories mind you, I just want a place where I can connect with others with different opinions and perspectives and together (along with the strides @btstarot has already taken, and hats off to her) I believe we can bring to light a side of the industry that is currently suffocating a grown adult’s right to make his own decisions. If my readings turn out to be confirmed by others then I will publicly aggregate the findings here, and my heart will go out to the members negatively affected by the chaos that possibly occurred on the 20th and was just barely covered up by the company in time before there could be a scandal.

[thedenofravenpuff]

A Little Ace Story - When You Know Me

Well, did want to contribute something to Asexual Awareness Week, but no time or energy to catch up on the artistic side. So how about a story instead.

Or more like a ramble, inspired by an anon from way back. From one of the rare brushes I’ve had with the discourse of trying to erase asexuality as a valid orientation for people to identify as.

Far from the little story first promised... prepare for wall of text down below.

The anon came from my occasional dip into drama, which I usually avoid. But I had it with a post I saw, don’t remember how I came across it, where people was quite busy judging a video about asexuality purely by out of context screenshots. I replied to the claims made by people not knowing what they were talking about, and made sure to actually provide the video for people to watch, instead of just using out of context screenshots as only means to pick and choose bits to mock.

I’m pretty sure one of the people who had added their own mockery on the post had noticed my reblog, as their way of writing their claim on anon doesn’t match up to how anyone I know would write to me. Nor like the usual, failing trolls.

They contacted me with a claim to try and invalidate my identity. At the time I did reply, but only with mockery and then shrugged it off to move on with my life.

But something stuck with me though. Their argument was so flawed. No one could possibly actually think like that, right? Who in their right mind would think that actually had any value as an argument.

But then again. It does fit the usual arguments and issues people usually seem to have when against something they find unfamiliar. That’s the thing. They put claims on things based on the familiarity. A lot of one sided debates often cook down to “I don’t relate to this, so I’ll force my own experience onto you.”Failing to realize their personal experience isn’t universal to everyone.

That’s usually the core of discourses against minorities. “I’m not familiar with you, why won’t you just assimilate to what I know?”

What DID the anon say?

Well, I’ve over time deleted the original ask it seems, as I just treated it as a troll.

But essentially they said

“You once felt differently. Then you learned about asexuality on the Internet and decided to change.” - Anon

It was, quite honestly, mind baffling dumb.

This random stranger from the Internet dared to make a claim to know me. My development as a person, as a human being. To know I “choose” to change my orientation for a trend, to be “special.”

Because in no way could this be someone I knew, hiding behind the anon face.

I’ve gone to two schools, different classmates and teachers. Both places the other students would declare me “not straight.” At the time we didn’t know of any other alternatives than homosexual, on the later school bisexual was more known. In lack of knowing other orientations, and being declared Not Straight(tm) by classmates, the first school had me declared for a lesbian by default. The other school had people discuss me behind my back while picking someone brave enough to just ask me what was up.

But when questioned I would honestly tell them “I don’t know” and they accepted that, not enforcing the label put on me. I was simply... not straight and questioning.

Conversations with friends and family through my life I found odd at the time, first years later realizing... it had been attempts at awkward hints that I was safe to come out to them. Because they knew I wasn’t straight. But too unsure to pressure the thought I must be gay or bi, as that didn’t felt right either.

My sister abusing my lack of ability to tell beauty in a man the way she and other girls did, to cheat at “Guess Who” when playing boardgames with me as kids.

When I came out as asexual to my family, I was honestly surprised that the majority of comments were “Oh, we already knew that. Just didn’t knew it had a name.” Because I had been too oblivious about how much they knew me.

I wasn’t straight, I wasn’t gay or bi or pan... they didn’t knew WHAT I was... but they knew WHO I was and that was enough.

All my life they knew. Not knowing what they knew, they didn’t had a name for it. But they knew what I was none the less. And accepted it long before I reached the end of my journey to discover who I was.

No, I never “felt differently” in my life. It was so obvious, that my family had long ago accepted this side of me, while I still struggled with the stress and frustrations about what I felt society expected of me. I never changed.

When I came out to friends and family, nothing changed. The only change was I now had a name to explain how I felt. To them it made sense, that’s how I have always been. How they saw me was never different.

It’s not a trend. It’s not about being special. It’s not anymore a choice as any other sexuality.

Arguing that your personal experience should be universal is the dumbest argument ever. Me coming out as Ace to my family, changed as much as a straight person coming out as straight to their family. Because THEY always knew me.

Now I know I’m BLESSED with a family this accepting and supportive. Not all of them understand Asexuality, but they accept me either way. Nothing but support and acceptance. And even better, no change to dynamics or socializing, because I am just how I am and there’s nothing wrong about it. I simply put a term to it, and we all moved on without any disturbance.

I know a lot of people getting flack for being seen as different. People of any orientation experiencing the horror of being disowned and thrown out of their homes. Abused. Attempted “cured” and “corrected”. I’m so blessed by the support I have experienced through my life.

Those who had it worse... deserves so much better than blind and deaf people not only refusing to accept differences, but dares to argue against it with expectations that everyone should just confirm.

Don’t walk up to strangers and demand them to be a clone of yourself. It makes no sense.

Be as accepting as my family has been through my whole life. People who have known me long enough just knew. Don’t push, don’t bother, don’t demand. Accept. Move on. Don’t like it? Don’t engage. People not being like yourself, are no danger to you. No harm.

We are, all as one, just people. In our own ways. The glory of diversity.

This turned out longer than planned, but I do find it hard to stop once I get going. If you ACTUALLY read through all this... know you are the awesomest person I’ve ever encountered. Thank you for your time

[badlydrawnjotarocean]

Concerning the Design Drama

I’m really sorry that this has to be my first post after a long hiatus

I wanna thank everyone though who has sent me good vibes about this situation, it’s very touching

I've been seeing others have an opinion on this matter between Mod Jota and myself. I figures I'd personally tell my own opinions and side on the discussion.

First of all let me discuss the matter of the private conversation that was posted online.

Posting up a conversation that was put in the DM’s without the EXPLICIT permission of the other person on the other side of the conversation? Not really cool! Yes, I did block Jota, but he should have kept that as a private matter between him and me because I didn’t give consent on publishing at all.

Announcing to the world that he was going to post the conversation, even if I had said yes it’s okay, if he published without even asking me about it? I probably still would not be okay with that! I hadn’t even seen that post prior to getting his private message, and it didn’t seem like he was going to tell me that he was going to post this on public! I do understand trying to be transparent to everyone, but when you’re not as transparent to the other person on the other side of the wall as you are with the audience, that's not okay. I'm grateful he deleted the old design and started anew, but the public does NOT need to know our conversation.

In fact, whether or not I DID say anything back wouldn’t really have mattered on the factor, he still was planning on redesigning character no matter what! So why would everyone need to see my reaction nonetheless? It seems a little shady to me. 

But since we are here talking about the conversation, lets dive into it! 

In my reply, was I aggressive? Yes! Was I not very compliant and open to what he had to say? Definitely YES, I immediately blocked him before he could explain more on his factor. But frankly, I don’t want to hear any excuses after three times a design got stolen from me by the same person! 

And frankly? His apology seemed more like he wanted to get it over with because he knew he had been caught and had to do public damage control. Not a very genuine tone in my opinion, however it’s text, tone can be easily interpreted the wrong way, so I won’t hold onto him on that too much.

Secondly, the three designs!

I never publically talked about them because this is NOT something that needs to be public. Again, I do really want believe they were misunderstandings, but 3 design misunderstandings from the same person? That sounds more like a pattern to me. 

First time it happened, it was my initial Standswap design!

((The bottom one I gave a little update too but I’m posting this here for facial reference.))

After a few months of standswap being over, BDhumanstar was introduced, made by Mod Jota, prior to DailyKujos!

Also for time reference

And before I dive into why this design made me feel uncomf let me start by repeating what I said to Jota: We are basing off of the same concept and character, so of course we WILL have similarities. However, this does NOT allow our characters to look identical.

Again similarity is fine, gloves? The loin cloth thingie? Sure, the canon Star Plat had em, why not! However, it’s gotten to the point that someone actually interacted with Jota’s blog because they thought Jota had explicit permission from me to rp my Star Plat Gijinka design, there’s an issue.

So when I saw this initially I was really greatly unsettled, however I thought I was just being too overzealous and let it go. It’s Star Plat right? People will be similar! Its a gijinka of a concept that already exists, surely it’s fine if they look a bit a like, they’re on the same concept! 

I’m finally off my first Hiatus, and people inform me that dailykujos has a really similar artstyle to my own, and tell me he’s trying to rip mine off. I didn’t think anything of it when I saw it, because I saw it more as he’s trying to draw inspiration from me. So that was a okay with me. 

Until I saw his standswap Jotaro which looked a little too familiar for me.

Mine, posted around when I participated in the second Standswap

Theirs, around the third standswap, which I hadn’t participated in.

Again, similarity on same concept, is fine! But the fact that there have been so many Jotaro Stands out there so different, yet this one looks so similar to my own? Doesn’t sit well with me. So I didn’t want this to go on for a third time on accident. 

So I told him in private dms about both the standswaps.

I unfortunately did not know that blocking someone makes you delete your message history with them, so I do not have the messages. 

However, him acting surprised like this was the first time he had been told his design looks stolen doesn’t seem right.

He responded and apologized, which I’m glad he was very compliant and changed the Jotaro design!

Which hey! Looks different, looks cool, it’s good by me!

He however didn’t change Star’s design until the next Standswap had came up, However, perhaps this was a misunderstanding there, I said something among the lines of your standswaps look a little too much like my own, can you change them? And maybe he only misread and interpreted as one of them, that is my own bad for not being clearer on that matter. I should have said something again but again, I could tell I was hurting his feelings just by pointing out one of them so I decided to give him a break.

Fast forward to about last night? My friends AGAIN tell me to look at something from Kujos, and low and behold I see something sadly very familiar.

Unfortunately I don't have a screenshot of it because Jota did delete it, so forgive me for not being able to get the stamp.

It looked way too much like to a Star Plat I had reinovated for the former standswap, because small redesigns right?

I do understand headphones yes, he’s a DJ, Star Plat gotta listen to his hot beats right? But a lot of his attributes are the same. Again. And at this point, I’m tired of this pattern. Again.

And so, three strikes you’re out!

Now, let me address some arguments I saw.

Firstly, I’m sorry that this was the cause of someone else leaving this community. However, there are somethings that didn’t sit well with me. I’ve already discussed the design aspect, so I won’t get into it. However, the mentality of ‘because you are a popular artist it’s your job to be a role model’ really bothered me. Artists are human, and humans make mistakes, just because someone has a little bit more of a broader audience, does not suddenly make you get PAID to be a behavioral role model. Did I make him feel bad? Yes, and I don’t feel great about it, but I felt it was necessary for him to learn his mistakes. Did I humiliate him? No, humiliating him would have been me publically posting my opinion and scolding him in public. He decided to let everyone know about this and a public issue, not by my hand. However, I’m not mad at you for not holding my opinion and stance nor do I feel any dislike towards you, you’re allowed to think your opinion. Again, I apologize for being part of the cause you departing from this community, and I very much hope you the best of luck in the future.

I also saw someone note that since these are based off of Araki’s characters and so these are technically not our designs. Which can be semi true, for a couple events, I straight up used Jotaro’s design but put different clothes and bam I call him an event character. I won’t call someone copying me if they also draw Jotaro in the same set of clothes that I drew him in. However gijinkas are somewhat different from that. We use the concept of the character as a basis for a new character, and basically morph the basis into a new character. Stand Gijinkas and Human Standjinkas??? are a different territory in general because of this. There’s a difference between having inspiration for a character, and copying entirely. Is there heavy influence from Jojo characters? Yes definitely. Are we stealing from Araki himself? No, because we are making our own concepts based on another concept, designers do it all the time. Two concepts that look identical, not looked happily upon. 

And because I see people jumping into this argument, even though they haven’t seen the image itself, please know the context of both sides before assuming otherwise.

And lastly, I want to address Mod Jota himself. I’m aware I blocked him but I’m sure he can see through anonymous, if he really wanted to.

I know you’re still young and you still will make your mistakes. And that’s fine, as long as you learn from them.

What I do not like is how you are avoiding the blame at this point. You said you’re distressed about the situation and don’t want to further discuss this in public, yet once one person praising you, you immediately discuss more about it and you don’t seem very sorry about this at all, and you seem more annoyed I’m not complying with you. Screaming and cursing is not feeling sorry. Shifting the blame on a 'coincidence' is not sorry. And then trying to be like Mango is over reacting and 'it should'nt have gone as bad as it went'? Not a very apologetic move. Not only that, there’s been other situations where you don’t listen to criticism and have this victim mentality. If you are at fault, look at your actions and try and see why someone is being this harsh, and how to correct it. Pouring more research into things comes a long way, especially when designing concepts. I don’t hate you Jota, I’m just tired. I hope you the best of luck in the future and I pray you grow from this, but I don’t think I’m patient enough to see it happen. This will be my final word on this stance, because I don’t want to prolong this drama with what I have already done, I just wanted to say my side of this discussion, and that'll be all. 

Have a nice day everyone.

[planetoban]

Savin’s Answers from Twitter!

Turns out that Savin has been pretty active on Twitter answering questions from fans! I’ve gone through and collected all of them (so far) below- the tweets have been copy-pasted and edited for clarity in some places, with source links below each conversation. This post is long, but contains no images. Tweets are in chronological order from most to least recent.

I want to express that these answers are NOT 100% canon/true until proven otherwise, since things are bound to change during production.

Also: If you’re going to ask Savin something, please be respectful and appropriate. He’s a person just like you and me.

@fictionjustis: out of curiosity, I read somewhere that the sequel pictures of Eva and Aikka are of them after a time skip exactly how many [cont] years have passed in that time skip? [cont] also is that your final character desighn for Molly and Aikka ?

@EiffelSavin: Not final. Age is a few years older but sticking with this will also depends on who our broadcasting partners will be...

(x)

--

@MahCouch: Do you have any plans on telling us more stuff about planet oban and the history of universe in general?

@EiffelSavin: If we get the sequel financed yes. There's more  planned on the mythology of Oban

(x)

--

@isdebrodis: I'm really curious how old are DW and Rick in 2082, since we know that the mains are teenagers and the mechanics are middle-20s

@EiffelSavin: I don't have my old notes with me right now, where this was laid out very precisely, but I'd say Rick around 30yo and DW late 40s early 50s

(x)

--

@Dr_Marvelous: #obanstarracers #princeaikka Does G'Dar's name have any special meaning in the Nourasian language?

@EiffelSavin: Yes. Funny you should ask as I finalized that point not long ago. If we do get the new projects financed you'll have yout answer!

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: I'm curious you mentioned Don Wei is Eva's only living family member, what happened to Don Wei's parents? And what kind of [continued in next section] @EiffelSavin: Don wei's parents died early. Maya still had some family but they didn't want her to race and resented dw. Cut ties with them both long ago.

@lbigreyhound: That's interesting! I never thought too much about what happened to Maya and Don's parents/Eva's grandparents, but it makes sense... [cont] ....as to why DW was so important to Eva. Her dad was literally all she had left. This was such a great show! I loved it when I was a kid!

@EiffelSavin: Yes. She has no one else to turn to.

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: [continued from previous section] family did he have? Also how long was Oban? And why did you make Molly so short yet her mother tall? @EiffelSavin: OSR was 10 years ago. It's that anniversary that got us working again together. As for Molly's hight, she's not so small & just turned 15

@ADoseOfJoy: Did you ever consider that Aikka may possibly have some feelings for Eva in the future,like,Jordan had in OSR ,and not just,,attraction''?

@EiffelSavin: I certainly did ☺

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: [why didn't Don Wei] recognize his daughter if she resembles his late wife?

@EiffelSavin: DW hasn't seen Eva for 10 years + during these 10 y. he's done his best to "forget" his painful past - forget Maya & Eva, to keep his sanity

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: [is Eva the spitting] image of [Maya]? Or is it just a crazy assumption most fans make.

@EiffelSavin: They look very close IF you drop the piercing, tom boyish haircut, red hair, clothes etc. of Eva. In terms of style: not exactly the same!

(x)

--

@HG_Alsmyr: should we expect to see Jordan return in the new #ŌbanStarRacers?

@EiffelSavin: I would certainly hope so, but I won't elaborate on that right now. It will keep you guessing a little longer 🙂

(x)

--

@EiffelSavin: I had mapped it precisely but that was a while a go. I'd say Rick close to 2m [6′6], Don Wei 1m80 [5′9], Jordan 1m75 [5′7] and Molly around 1m60 [5′2]

(x)

--

@TiigerLilies: [A Bluray release] would be a dream come true. Is there any potential for French or Japanese dub with subtitles?

@EiffelSavin: Yes. At least one of these languages and hopefully subtitled.

(x)

--

@ardaozcan98: What do u think Eva's music taste is like? We've only seen her listening [once] and that's something like metal or techno i guess.

@EiffelSavin: She cares about her music. Strong, fast stuff. It's a refuge. Cf also her listening to a frantic Ayumi A. remix in the original MSR pilot 😉

(x)

--

@bebebubble1: Was Canaletto supposed to have a bigger role in Oban? His takeover always felt a bit rushed and unfulfilling.

@EiffelSavin: More or less what we planned but wasnt easy to fit the whole story in a 26 epi format Somethings had to be left out or reduced to the min ☺

(x)

--

@EiffelSavin: Last point there are no [Totally Spies] inspired dialogues in OSR. I wrote all dials myself and only agreed to add a couple more lighthearted ones 🤓

(x)

--

[context: someone asked about the “all male” counterpart to the Inna species, however it looks like they’ve since deleted their account or made it private, so only Savin’s part of the convo is available]

@EiffelSavin: Well that depends if there is such a thing as a male Inna race... [cont] I didn't really have the chance to expand on the topic but was thinking more in the ways of hermaphrodites, like snails do 😇

(x) (x)

[more context: In the “Creator’s Answers” thread on the OSR forums, Savin stated that the Inna were an all-female race that had an all-male counterpart. Looks like he may have changed his mind]

--

@delicatedowner: [Screenshots that Savin tweeted look] soft on each image, but I do appreciate the effort to remaster them for the planned [Blueray] set.

@EiffelSavin: This could be the screencapture. There is no remastering there. Oban was produced un HD.

@delicatedowner: I stand corrected.  Was it HD originally formatted in widescreen (16:9) or full-frame (4:3) as broadcasted?

@EiffelSavin: HD but formatted originally in 4:3.

(x)

--

@IgorSkochinsky: Love [Iwasaki Taku’s] music! Is there any chance at all of Oban OST vol.2 being released (physical or digital)?

@EiffelSavin: Nothing confirmed yet but If we go ahead with plans to release a bluray, all unpublished tracks could be included as a bonus

(x)

--

@rebelle_g: Hello!  One question about the up coming sequel of Oban Star Racers : Is Rick Thunderbolt in it?He is my favorite character😍

@EiffelSavin: [I] Like him too but we'll see 😉 Part of Rick's appeal is that we didn't get to see him too often. Kept him cool and mysterious.

(x)

--

@Streamer255: Is Molly gonna go by her real name Eva or will she use her alias again?

@EiffelSavin: Eva doesn't really need her alias anymore. But Molly's how most character have come to know her by.  We may use a bit of both

(x)

--

@CourierRin: Do you have any plans for a Molly&Aikka couple in the potential OSR continuation?

@EiffelSavin: Aikka's an important character and close to Molly's Heart but I won't say anything about the plots we're working on for now

(x)