#i’ve literally never posted anything about Loki on here before

[ynscrazylife]

If requests are open, sorry its another long ass anon prompt, i should call my self sushi at this point.

How about Yn, Stark try to help out on a mission but her dad says its to dangerous. The thing they are working on could kill someone, and yn wants to make sure everyone is safe. She can help, she knows she can. But Stark asks Peter Parker to get her out of there and then he is placed on "baby sitting duty" even though they are both in High school.

Cue yn trying to get back to help using any means necessary and peter trying his best to keep her away from something dangerous. He's trying to calm her down from the incoming panic attack, but she cant seem to breathe. Can't Peter see that her dad is probably going to die? She loves peter but she cannot lose her dad. Everything fades to black.

Yn wakes up in her room after passing out from The panic attack. The whole team is fine, they saved the day. Yn is crying from all of the stress of suddenly being awake after that event when peter cuddles her.

Basically all the angst, with all the fluff right after.

Thanks again 🍣🍣🍣

To be a Hero

Summary: Peter comforts you when your dad and the Avengers are in danger.

Authors Note: I’ve never had a panic attack before so I’ve tried to write it as accurate as I can. Please let me know if I’ve made any mistakes!

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

Main Masterlist | MCU Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me firstand b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

“You know, this feels like our first Avengers mission all over again,” Tony said in a dramatic voice as he fires his repulsers.

“If only it was because we were getting shawarma and not fighting another one of Thor’s murderous siblings,” Natasha deadpanned.

You bit back a small laugh as you entered the fight. Thor’s sister Hela had made her presence on Earth with an army of horrid creatures at her beckoning and the Avengers were there to do what they do best, defend and avenge. While the whole team, including your boyfriend Peter, had suited up at the tower, Tony had specifically told you not to get involved. You were only a few months in to being an Avenger and he thought it was too dangerous for you.

But, it took was one override code of FRIDAY’s system to get out of the tower.

“Hey! Technically, Loki was mind-controlled by Thanos,” Thor grumbled.

You smiled, sneaking around a city block before hitting one of the creatures square in the chest. You had a suit that you had designed with your dad along with some pretty cool energy powers.

Unfortunately, the creature didn’t go down with just one blast. You frowned as it growled and turned towards you, starting to advance. The team continued to chatter on comms, trying to keep on joking in order not to think about all the damage Hela was doing. It was nearly getting to be worse than the damage Loki once caused.

It wasn’t letting up, despite your continued blasts. It’d get hit in the face and shake it off (quite literally with a shake of its head). Your heartbeat went off the charts as you stumbled back, panic rising in your chest and your mouth going dry. Shit. This wasn’t going to be the end, was it? That stupid thing wasn’t letting up! It was getting far too close now and you were a second away from going on comms to admit defeat and call for help when suddenly, a blur of red flashed in front of you and then, strong arms wrapped around you.

You let out a shriek as your feet left the ground. “Shh, shh, it’s me,” the familiar voice of Peter soothed you and you calmed down instantly, your arms wrapping around him as he swung onto the rooftop on the nearest building. When you landed, Peter rubbed your back and held you close as he waited you to calm down and get your bearings.

“Thanks,” you whispered, your cheek pressed against his chest, a little embarrassed that he had to come and save the day.

“You know there’s no need to thank me,” Peter assured you in a warm voice, lightly chuckling. After a second, he pulled back and lifted up his mask for a second. “Babe, what are you doing here? Your dad told you stay in the tower.”

You pouted at him. “I want to help, Pete! The whole team’s here, I don’t want to be stuck in the tower,” you said, wanting him to understand.

And oh, he did. He had been unable to attend a lot of the missions when he first started out as an Avenger. He had been annoyed much like how you were now, but he had grown to see that it was for the best. “Y/N, you know we have to tell your dad,” he told you.

Your jaw dropped. “What? No!” You exclaimed, trying to stop Peter from telling KAREN to alert Tony. “What are you doing?!”

Peter finished speaking to KAREN and gave you a knowing look. “Tony would find out sooner and later and I’m not taking the fall,” he said.

You opened your mouth to protest even more, but was cut off by the sound of your dad’s voice. “Y/N Stark!” Tony said, his voice vibrating through both yours and Peter’s comms. “What were you thinking? You know you’re not trained enough to come on this type of a mission.”

“Dad—” you began, not even sure how you were going to defend this.

“No, I don’t want to hear it,” Tony snapped, catching you off guard. Damnit, he really was not happy. Peter squeezed your hand comfortingly. “I’m taking away your ability to override FRIDAY’s codes for now. Peter, please take Y/N back to the Tower. You can return to the fight after.”

You looked away, hot tears of frustration pooling in your eyes. Deep down, you knew that he was justified in this decision, but that didn’t take away your anger or your want to help. “You’re going to take me back to the tower, aren’t you?” You muttered. You didn’t mean to take this out on Peter, but this was one of the times where his loyalty to your dad was working against you.

“Hey,” Peter said gently, grasping your chin in the palm of his hand turning your head so your guys’ eyes met. He titled his head to the side, giving you a knowing but loving look that never failed to make your heart melt. “You know I have to take you back. But you can go to the lab, work on upgrades for your suit, and I promise the fight will be over in no time.” You nodded slowly, not quite believing him even though you wanted to.

Smiling at you, Peter wrapped his arms around you and lifted you into his arms. Usually, his words always did the trick to calm you down, and while he did help to prevent your tears from falling, you couldn’t shake the storm of anger and helplessness that was brewing inside your body.

You were almost like a rag doll in his arms, for once not terrified of Peter swinging you through the streets. Instead, you zoned out, unable to stop the scenarios of your dad and the Avengers getting gravely injured or killed from flashing through your head. You imagined your dad dying and the last thing you said being an argument. It wouldn’t stop and the more the images came, the more tense and frightened you became.

//

It was blatantly obvious for Peter that something was off, something was different. The only time he heard Tony speak like that was when the man had taken his suit away. Plus, when he carried you through the city with his webbing, you were usually clinging to him and letting out squeaks of exhilaration and nervousness. Now, you are still holding onto him tightly, but had gone silent.

He landed on the balcony outside your room, opening your door and leading you inside with his hand bracing your back. He could see clearly that you were deep inside your thoughts and it sent a ripple of pain through him. When the two of you got to the lab, Peter maneuvered himself to stand in front of you, his hands on your shoulders.

“Do you want me to get you water or something? I don’t want to leave you yet,” he said, biting his bottom lip in obvious worry for your state.

The switch from silence to hysteria stunned Peter for a second, but he snapped out of it when your panic didn’t cease. You struggled to control your breathing, body beginning to shake. A sob escaped you and you covered your mouth with your hands. “Y/N, take a deep breath for me,” he said firmly but kindly, mimicking one.

You shook your head so quickly and strongly that it made you dizzy. “I can’t—I can’t—” you wheezed, nearly choking on your sobs.

"Yes, you can. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you can," Peter said, but when he started to see that this wasn't working, he switched tactics. "Come on, let's sit you down."

He tried to maneuver you to the couch, but that backfired almost immediately. Your nails dug into his suit so forcefully that it was enough to make him pause and look back on you. The color had drained from your face and you looked absolutely terrified, a dazed over look in your eyes. "Y/N? Y/N!" He exclaimed, panicking.

You opened your mouth, and that gave Peter hope, but only a small noise, almost a whimper, left your lips before you were falling. What Peter didn't know was that when he tried to move you, he had unintentionally made the dizziness so much worse. That, combined with all five of your senses feeling like they were on fire, was too much for your body to handle at the moment.

Peter's eyes went wide as you dropped quite literally into his open arms. With one hand cradling your head, pressing it against his shoulder, he half-pulled, half-dragged you over to the couch. "Sorry," he couldn't help but apologize, seeing your feet drag.

He got you over to the couch and laid you down, brushing your hair out of your face. At the very least, you looked calmer now, but Peter would much rather you be conscious than unconscious. "FRIDAY, what do I-?" He started to ask, but the A.I was already ahead of him.

"While I cannot diagnose anyone, it appears that Y/N was displaying symptoms of a panic attack and lost consciousness as a result. The best course of action would be to monitor Y/N closely," FRIDAY said.

Peter was no fan of hearing the words panic and attack together, but it did soothe him to know that he didn't have to call 911 or bring you to the hospital. "Thanks," he murmured, watching you for a second. He let out a shaky breath, running his hand through your hair and his thumb over your forehead and cheeks like he knew you liked. A smile came to his face when he remembered how you'd blush normally.

He considered having FRIDAY tell Tony and the team that he wouldn't be going back to the fight, but that would just mean that he'd have to explain and he knew that everyone would be distracted and too worried about you (especially Tony). He sat back, trying to wait as patiently as he could, but couldn't shake the feeling of the need to do something to help or comfort you.

Eventually deciding that you'd be more comfortable on your bed than the touch, Peter scooped you up in his arms again. He tried to pretend that you were just sleeping in his arms, not unconscious, and that brought another soft smile to his lips. He tucked you into bed, not caring that he very much resembled a mother hen right now.

Once he deemed you all cozy, propped up by an absurd amount of pillows and wrapped in fuzzy blankets, Peter decided to change out of his suit. He made FRIDAY swear to alert him if anything about your condition changed, though. After switching to an Avengers sweater and grey sweatpants, Peter made a quick detour to the kitchen to grab you a glass of water and your favorite snack.

As he was walking back into your room, though, Peter saw you start to stir. He quickly put down the water and snack, hurrying to your side and taking a seat on your bed. He placed his hand over yours, smiling as he watched you wake. You looked around, a bit confused at first, before your gaze settled on your boyfriend.

"Peter?" You mumbled, starting to feel a bit nervous as your head was all foggy from fainting.

"Hi," he said sweetly. "You're okay, babe. We're in your room. You fainted. Take a deep breath with me, okay?"

You managed to do that. Peter drew back the covers and slid into bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you as he held you.

"You-you shouldn't be here. My dad-" you began to say.

"-Will be fine. So will the team. I'm right where I need to be, darling," Peter said, keeping his voice calm, gentle, and smooth.

You let out a small puff of air, pausing before speaking again. "He's so mad at me. I-I wanted to help. I'm supposed to be a hero, but I'm not even good enough to stop some creature on my own," you whimpered. As your tears started to come, Peter didn't try to stop them. He knew you needed to let it all out.

Rubbing your arm soothingly. Peter waited to speak. "It was a misunderstanding, Y/N, and you are a good hero-" he began.

"You have to say that, you're my boyfriend," you pouted.

Peter chuckled lightly. "It's true. You are the kindest hero I've ever seen. Some missions just require a little more training and that's okay, it doesn't make you any less of a hero," he said.

You nodded, leaning your head back against his chest. Peter happily continued to rub your arm and hold you.

"I'm still worried about my dad and the team," you whispered.

"I know," Peter whispered back, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. "But if something happened, we'd have heard right now, so try to rest your head, m'kay?"

You nodded again, even if you weren't quite certain that you'd be able to do that. Peter grabbed the water and the snack, passing it to you. That instantly made you smile and you thanked him before practically devouring it. Peter put the glass back on the table when you were done.

The two of you sat there for a while, both happy and content to enjoy each other's presence. After a bit, Peter glanced down and grinned when he saw you asleep. This was like heaven to him, with how cute you were and how he was able to hold and cuddle you.

He ended up losing track of time but soon enough. FRIDAY was quietly alerting him that the team had returned, unharmed.

"Can you tell Tony to come up to Y/N's room?" Peter asked.

A couple minutes later, the man was walking in, still in his suit but without his helmet. "I know you're probably still mad-" he began, running a hand through his hair, only to be cut off by Peter's "shh". He glanced up, not expecting to see the sight he saw. He walked over. "What's going on?"

"Y/N's asleep. Had a panic attack and fainted earlier. Y/N was really scared that something would happen to you and the team," Peter explained.

Tony softened and with a small sigh, sat down. He looked at his sleeping teen, smiling warmly. "Alright. We can talk later. Take good care of my kid, alright Parker?" He whispered, slowly rising from the bed.

"You got it," Peter promised. He'd always take good care of you.

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[just-another-blog-of-fluff]

Don't Lie to the God of Lies - Part 2

Word count: 5100

Warnings: ruthless Loki, ruthless Bucky… yeah just ruthless. Mmhmm.

This is a three-prompt-inspired fic - incorporating requests for Don't Lie to the God of Lies part 2, a Loki/Bucky tagteam, and a Prompt by an anon requesting reader pranking Bucky until he finally decides to get back at them.

Today is also exactly 6 months since posting my first fic, which just so happens to be part 1 of this new fic! It’s crazy to think how much I’ve written and how many kind people have interacted with my posts since then 💚💚

Read Part 1

The damned god wasn’t ticklish. Not one bit. If he was, then he was damn good at hiding it.

You tried every ticklish spot you could think of, and he simply allowed you to do it, even raising his arms to allow free access to his entire torso. He didn’t even flinch. And the smile on his face? That was a haughty smirk, one that simply oozed ‘I-told-you-so.’

You had to literally beg him on your knees not to tell anyone your secret. He finally agreed, only because he was getting sick of your groveling. But making deals with the devil was never free. He had conditions, and you had to abide by them, or he wouldn’t be holding up his end of the bargain.

He and Bucky had been in some kind of unspoken feud for about a week now. Bucky had apparently drunk an entire bottle of Loki’s Asgardian mead, having discovered that he could actually feel a little bit tipsy from the liquor despite his super soldier serum. Loki had been plotting revenge ever since he’d confronted the metal-armed soldier and gotten no more than a shrug in response. He had a few pranks planned out, of course. But why get his hands dirty when he could make you do it for him?

“You want me to prank Bucky. Repeatedly.” You stared at Loki incredulously, wondering if he was pulling your leg. His face remained completely serious as he nodded, brows raised in confusion.

“Yes, that… is what I said, is it not?”

You began to laugh humorlessly. “Loki – I can’t! If Bucky found out it was me, I’d be in so much trouble!”

“Then it’s best you avoid giving yourself away,” he suggested facetiously, his lips curling up into a smirk. “Wouldn’t want to be on the Winter Soldier’s bad side, would you?”

“Ughh, Loki!” you groaned in frustration, running your hands through your hair, beginning to pace anxiously. “Is this really my only way out? You can’t come up with anything else?”

“Darling – need I remind you that you’ve been strutting about, touting the fact that you’re not ticklish to anyone who dare even try to prove otherwise. This is a considerable secret you want me to keep. And that comes at a price.”

You paused, taking a deep breath before turning to face Loki again. “Fine. What do I have to do?”

Loki briefed you on the revenge he had plotted for the super soldier. Admittedly, you couldn't deny that his ideas were pretty funny and, surprisingly, didn't involve all that much magic. You tried to look at the bright side - at least if you were going to have to put yourself at risk of Bucky catching you, you were going to have a little fun doing it.

The next morning, you awoke to a knocking at your door. It was still dark outside, the sun only just barely peeking up over the horizon. Groggily, you staggered to your bedroom door and opened it to find Loki standing on the other side. You gasped a little, running your hands through your hair to smooth the knots that had formed in your sleep as your face began to burn, knowing Loki was seeing you in such a state.

"Wh-what are you doing here so early, Loki?" you whispered, trying to suppress a yawn.

"As you may recall, Barnes awakens quite early to go for his morning run before the sun rises," he reminded you, his eyes skimming over your oversized sleep shirt and cotton shorts. You wrapped your arms self-consciously around yourself.

“Ok - which prank are you asking me to pull, then?”

Bucky had a rather specific routine in the morning. He went for a run, he returned to the compound, he showered, and he sat down to have his morning coffee. He took his coffee the same way every morning - a teaspoon of sugar and a splash of cream. Your job? Replace the sugar with salt before he returned.

"Isn't this kind of a juvenile prank?" you asked as you opened the sugar bowl, pouring the sugar out into a separate bowl to empty it.

"That is the point, darling. Would you suspect that I, the God of Mischief, performed such a 'juvenile' prank, as you call it?"

"... Fair enough." You poured salt into the dish and replaced the cover, hiding the bowl with the sugar in the back of a cabinet. "There. Happy now? Can I go back to sleep?"

"Oh, I don't think so. We've got more work to do."

You groaned, rubbing your eyes groggily. "Fine, but you're going to wait until I have my own cup of coffee."

"Be my guest." He turned to exit the kitchen, pausing in the doorway. "Don't use the sugar dish - you'll be sorry." You rolled your eyes, hiding an amused smirk as you turned on the coffee maker.

As you left the kitchen with your coffee mug, Bucky passed by you with a gruff 'good morning' on his way to the coffee maker. You kept a straight face as you said good morning, taking a sip of your coffee as you continued on to meet Loki and prepare the next prank. A sudden shout of disgust from down the hall told you Bucky had encountered your trick. You only hoped he didn't suspect you because you'd been the last in the kitchen.

Next up was probably your favorite of Loki's ideas. You waited patiently in the common room, watching television with Steve until Bucky came in to join the two of you. He eyed you warily when he entered the room, but didn't say anything as you looked back at him with pure innocence written on your face. Taking a seat beside Steve on the sofa, he placed his phone on the armrest and began to make casual conversation.

You had a sense he was already beginning to suspect you, and so you knew you had to tread carefully. You participated in conversation with the two super soldiers, interjecting occasionally where it made sense and otherwise pretending to watch the television. After you'd sat there long enough for Bucky to let his guard down a bit more, you stood and exited the room under the ruse of having to use the restroom. As you passed the sofa, you took mental note of where Bucky's cell phone was sitting. Your best shot at appearing innocent was to wait until you returned to take his phone - he wouldn't suspect you took it right from under his nose and then sat right back down in the living room.

Sure enough, when you returned you casually swiped the phone from the arm of the sofa, stuffing it in your back pocket before taking your seat on the arm chair. You waited casually, wanting Bucky to notice the phone was missing while you were still sitting there in the room so you could lead him to believe your innocence. It took a surprisingly long time for him to reach for his phone, having been caught up in a lively conversation with his best friend. You watched as he blindly patted his palm around the sofa arm without looking, turning his head only when he realized he couldn't find it.

"Where's my phone?" His eyes darted immediately to you, narrowing suspiciously. "Alright, where'd you put it?"

"Huh? What do you mean, where'd I put it? Why would I take your phone?" you asked, feigning ignorance.

"Don't lie to me. I know you're guilty." He rose to his feet, approaching the chair to stand over you threateningly. You held your hands up in surrender.

"Search me if you'd like. I didn't take your phone, Buck."

"Maybe I will." He pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, studying you as though trying to discern whether you were being honest. You held your arms out, palms up flat.

"Seriously, Buck. I don't have it."

"We'll see about that." He patted his hands along your long sleeves, running them down along your sides. You knew what he was trying to do when he dug his fingertips into your ribs and sides on the way down. Luckily, you'd prepared for it and maintained your straight face despite how badly it tickled.

"Buck, I've told you I'm not ticklish already - why do you bother trying?" you asked teasingly as his hands left your sides, a scowl etched across his face. "Do you believe me now? I don't have your phone."

"You must have hidden it somewhere," he scoffed, folding his arms across his chest.

"Seriously? Why do you think I'm out to get you today??"

"Oh, come on! Like I don't know you were the one who put salt in the sugar dish this morning. Why are you pranking me?"

You snorted. "Someone put salt in the sugar dish?? Is that why you yelled this morning?"

His face melted from irritated suspicion to confusion, his heavy brow furrowing. "Yeah, they did. You didn't know? You were walking out with a coffee when I went in the kitchen this morning."

You shrugged. "Don't take sugar in my coffee."

Bucky seemed to buy it finally, his arms relaxing by his sides. "Well somebody took it. It was right here next to me." He turned and walked out of the room, grumbling about how he was going to catch the culprit in the act. You looked up at Steve, who was eyeing you thoughtfully.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" you asked.

"No reason. You just seem pretty defensive for someone who didn't pull these pranks."

"I'm not -"

"Look, I don't want to get in the middle of... whatever is going on. But let me tell you from experience - Bucky doesn't take pranks sitting down. He will seek revenge."

"Well, I'll keep that in mind if I ever decide to prank him," you insisted, standing up and adjusting your sweater to cover the part of Bucky's phone that stuck out of your back pocket. "If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find someone to hang out with who doesn't look at me like I've committed some sort of crime."

Steve chuckled, waving you off dismissively as you left the room. "I'd avoid Bucky if I were you."

You headed up to your bedroom, shutting the door behind you before taking a seat in the middle of your bed and pulling Bucky's phone out of your pocket. Opening his settings, you began changing his autocorrect feature to replace common words like 'and' and 'the' with the word 'dork' - a harmless prank, but god was it going to be funny when he couldn't figure out how to fix it.

"I see you've succeeded in getting Barnes' phone without detection."

You leapt a mile into the air, turning to find Loki leaning against your desk. "Loki! God, I'm gonna put a bell on you or something. Could you announce yourself next time??"

"Now, darling, there's no fun in that." He paced over to where you sat, leaning over your shoulder to look at the screen as you worked.

"To respond to your statement - no, I didn't completely evade detection. He's beginning to suspect me."

"How unfortunate."

"Loki!" You looked up from the phone screen, glaring at the nonplussed god. "I'm serious! He gave me a pat-down because he thought I took his phone!"

"You did."

"Not the point. He's suspicious, and if I keep pulling pranks he's gonna figure it out. And according to Steve, he doesn't let people get away with making a fool of him without consequences. If Steve is afraid to prank him, what's he gonna do to me?"

Loki shrugged. "I suppose you'll just need to be more careful."

"You're seriously gonna make me go through with the last prank?"

"Unless you want me to announce your little secret."

You groaned, pressing your fingers to the bridge of your nose. "Loki, if I ever find any dirt on you, you'd better believe I'm gonna blackmail you just as hard as you're blackmailing me."

Loki chuckled, rumbling deep in his throat. "Good luck with that, darling." Without another word, he strode out of your room, leaving you to finish your task.

A thought occurred to you just then. You knew exactly how you could get the blame off of you, and implicate Loki in all of this, without him ever being the wiser. Smirking, you returned to Bucky's phone settings and got to work enacting your plan.

The final prank was going to be the most challenging to pull off without getting caught. Somehow, you had to attach a small circular device to his metal arm somewhere, which would disengage the appendage when activated. It would be pretty funny to see his face when his arm just randomly pops off. But he already suspected you, and so you knew he couldn't see you when you attached the device or he'd immediately know you'd done it. You hoped Bucky's suspicion of Loki was growing after he discovered your last prank.

You hadn't expected the perfect opportunity to just drop into your lap, but here you were. As you wandered down the hallway toward the kitchen, you overheard a heated debate in the common room between the metal-armed soldier and the dark-haired prince of Asgard. Silently, you crept toward the door, keeping out of sight while you listened to find out what was going on.

"I don't know why I didn't realize this was you from the very beginning! It's so obvious!" Bucky exclaimed with irritation.

"Barnes - I am telling you the truth, believe it or not. I did not perform these pranks," Loki insisted, calmly and coolly.

"Then why does my phone suddenly autocorrect everything to say 'Loki rules'?" Bucky demanded. You threw your hand over your mouth to prevent a laugh from escaping. So he had discovered what you did.

"Think about it for a moment. Why would I implicate myself in such an obvious manner if I were the one who pulled this on you?" Loki reasoned. Bucky was silent for a beat. You poked your head cautiously around the doorway to get an idea of where the men were positioned. They were seated on the sofa facing away from the door, with Bucky on the left side facing toward Loki on the right. Perfect.

You ducked down low and hurried silently to crouch behind the back of the couch. Sliding the device from your pocket, you hobbled silently around the side of the couch, swiftly pressing the device onto the outer side of his upper arm, the vibranium cool against your warm palm. Wasting no time, you hurried out of the room before they finished their argument, returning to hide in your bedroom and avoid Bucky for a bit. For good measure, you pulled out the remote to the device you'd planted on Bucky's arm and activated it. It was a shame you wouldn't get to witness his reaction, but it would certainly help to put the suspicion on Loki, seeing as he was the only person in the room with Bucky.

You spent most of the afternoon hiding out in your room, waiting what felt like a long enough duration of time that the last prank would have either blown over, or Bucky would have already hashed it out with Loki. Eventually, though, you needed to show your face again in the public areas of the compound. It would be just as suspicious for you to hide for the entire night.

It was in your routine to hit the gym in the late afternoon before dinner, so you put on a pair of leggings and a tank top and headed down as you normally would to try to adhere to a sense of normalcy. It'd be in your best interest to let Bucky see you following your usual schedule.

The rest of the gym was empty at this time. This was typically the case - exactly the reason why you preferred working out this time of day. Placing your water bottle in the corner, you headed over to the sparring area where there were cushioned mats so you could stretch out before beginning your workout. You sat on the floor, bending one knee and straightening out the other leg so you could stretch your hamstring.

"I thought I might find you in here."

Your heart leapt into your throat when you heard Bucky's voice from the doorway, but you hid it well. Tilting your head up at a non-startled speed, you offered Bucky a smile in greeting.

"Hey, Buck. Did you figure out who took your phone yet?"

"I did, yeah." He meandered into the room, approaching the side of the sparring arena. You turned your attention back to your stretches and waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't say any more, merely standing by the edge where the mats began.

"So... who was it?"

"I think you know who it was."

You turned to look at him again, shifting to sit cross-legged on the floor. "Bucky - we've been over this -"

"You can drop the act. He told me everything."

Damn.

"Who told you everything?" you asked, trying to sound confused.

"I did."

You looked up to find Loki striding into the room, coming to a halt at Bucky's side. His expression was smug, positively dripping with mischievous glee. You rose to your feet, deciding it would be best if you were prepared to flee on a moment's notice.

"Oh, he did, did he?" you asked sarcastically, meeting Loki's eye with a confident stare. Your eyes shifted to look at Bucky, jutting your chin toward Loki as you spoke. "Did he also tell you he was the one who made me pull all those pranks?"

"He did." Bucky didn't appear annoyed, or at least, not at Loki. Confused, you tilted your head in a silent request for an explanation. "We decided that the two of us are even now, since I did drink his mead, after all."

"Oh. Well, great. Glad you made amends then." Not liking where this seemed to be heading, you headed to the corner to grab your water bottle and get the hell out of there while you still could.

"Don't you want to know what else he told me?" Bucky asked. Despite the fact you were facing away from him, you could hear the smirk in his tone. Against your better instincts, you froze on the spot, whipping around to shoot Loki a panicked look.

"You didn't."

"Oh, I did."

You bolted.

The only problem was the mischievous duo was standing between you and your exit. In a desperate attempt to get past them, you tried to catch them off guard, sprinting straight toward them and diving into a somersault to duck under their reach. You popped right back up to your feet and kept running, a skill you were thankful to have learned as an agent.

You turned your head to look over your shoulder and see where they were, startled to find they weren't there. It dawned on you, as you ran directly into a solid form, that Loki had played a trick on you.

"NO! Loki! You ALWAYS do that!!" you cried in frustration as he wrapped his arms around you, preventing you from escaping in his tight grasp.

"And yet you always fall for it. Why is that, darling?" You groaned into his chest in frustration, deciding to save your energy rather than fighting his hold. "Barnes - you recall what I told you?"

"Oh I remember." You gasped as you felt his hands rest on your back, just below your shoulder blades - the trigger point that had given you away in the first place.

It wasn't as though you didn't want this to happen. After yesterday, when Loki had discovered your lie and did his damnedest to make you regret it, you'd anticipated it would only be a matter of time before he told the others. In a way, you'd actually found it fun - and, not to mention, you didn't mind having the trickster's full and undivided attention. But you had an innate sense of self-preservation that you couldn't ignore. You couldn't just stand there complacently and allow the two to tickle you to tears.

"Wow, you're already so tense! Loki, you weren't kidding."

"I'd never jest about this," he responded, leaning back a bit to look down at your face while still holding your arms tight to your sides. You looked up at him with your most pleading face, silently begging him to release you. He chuckled, his smirk only broadening. "You crossed both Barnes and myself today, and you think giving me an adorable pouting look will make me change my mind?"

"You think I'm adorable?" you asked, smirking. His eyes narrowed as his cheeks began to turn red, looking up over your shoulder to Bucky.

"Do your worst."

And gods, he did.

It was worse than you remembered from the evening before - perhaps because last night you didn't have someone trapping you in a bear hug to hold you still at the same time. Especially since that someone was now Loki. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Bucky had one human hand and one solid metal one - two very different sensations, but equally as ticklish.

There was no hiding it; you were already far too flustered by the whole situation to try to pretend like he wasn't tickling you. You exploded into immediate hysterics, writhing in Loki's arms to try to break his hold on you.

"Wohohow! This is gold!" Bucky exclaimed in awe, kneading his thumbs in tight circles into the backs of your ribs. Your knees buckled, the entirety of your weight leaning heavily into Loki's front.

"Now that you've got her laughing, you'll find she's actually ticklish everywhere. Watch." Loki began to scratch at your sides where his hands rested. Bucky didn't ease up in his torment either - in fact, if anything, he made it worse by digging his fingers into the sides of your upper ribs while continuing to toggle his thumbs into that awful trigger point. You buried your face into Loki's chest and let out a shrill, muffled scream. It seemed to surprise even the mischievous trickster, as he paused his torment for a moment and nodded at Bucky to pause as well.

"You... you guys... are such jerks..." you panted, face still buried in Loki's shoulder.

"Perhaps if you'd simply pranked Barnes as requested without trying to sell me out, you'd be spared from my vengeance," Loki goaded.

"OR if you'd told Loki you WOULDN'T do it, maybe I wouldn't have had to get revenge," Bucky added.

"Oh, bull shit, Bucky," you argued, looking over your shoulder at the super soldier. "You and I both know that as soon as Loki told you the truth, you'd have been testing it out as soon as you could get your hands on me."

"You're probably right," he agreed, grinning. "Loki, you want a go?"

"What?! No, he does NOT 'want a go' Bucky!" you demanded.

"Quite the contrary, actually. Barnes, if you would."

You shrieked in protest as you felt Bucky's hands close around your arms just above your elbows, pulling you from Loki's grasp and pinning your arms behind your back. You felt your face burning hot as Loki eyed you predatorily, shrinking into Bucky under his gaze.

"Hello, darling," he said with a teasing grin.

"Still think I'm adorable?" you retorted cheekily. He stepped a bit closer, looking you in the eye as he wiggled his fingers in the air just inches from your belly. Your abdominal muscles contracted to avoid his fingers, an anticipatory smile already tugging at your lips.

"It's adorable, yes - watching you squirm despite the fact I'm not even tickling you yet."

"L-Loki! Dohon't!"

"You think that's going to stop me?" His fingertips made contact with your belly, barely grazing along the skin. "You think I don't know that you don't mind this as much as you pretend to?"

"Wh-whahat??"

"You heard me." He applied slightly more pressure with his fingers, scratching lightly at the sides of your belly. Drawing your bottom lip up between your teeth, you tried desperately to hold back the giggles threatening to spill from your mouth as Loki played at your resolve. "Tell me I'm wrong, and I'll stop."

"I...Ihi-HEHEY!!" Not waiting for your response, given it was taking you so long to provide it, Loki began to claw into your belly with both hands. You doubled over, bursting into giggles. Bucky held fast to your arms despite your thrashing, chuckling behind you at your predicament.

"Damn, you are ticklish everywhere. How the hell do you hide it so well?" Bucky asked curiously.

"I'm... traiHAHA… trained to withstand TOHORTURE!" you explained through sporadic laughter.

"Torture? That's an awfully strong word, seeing as you're enjoying this so much."

"BUCKY!" Your face burned impossibly hotter, and Loki removed his tickling fingers from your belly. Gasping for breath, you made a show of it by looking down at the floor with your hair tousled over your face, hiding your colored cheeks.

"I think we're flustering the young agent," Loki snickered, lifting your chin with two fingers.

"Where else is she ticklish?"

"Nope! Nowhere else! Uh-uh!" you protested, shaking your head frantically.

"Oh, I know just the spot! Hold her there for a moment." Loki stepped around behind you to take Bucky's place, circling his arms around your waist before suddenly dragging you down to sit on the ground. Bucky cocked his head in confusion. "Her feet are quite ticklish."

You yelped in protest. "What?! No! Bucky, I swear, don't you even THINK about it!"

"It's too late for that - I already thought about it," he teased, kneeling by your feet and reaching for your ankles. You jerked your feet away from his reach, planting them firmly on the floor right in front of you.

"I don't think so, darling." Loki held your waist with one arm and reached for your knee, pinching above your kneecap. With a spluttering giggle, you kicked your leg out, right into Bucky's reach to grab your ankle. Once Bucky had hold of both ankles, Loki threw one leg over your shins to hold your legs out straight while Bucky removed your sneakers.

"Wait, WAHAHAIT! Guhuhuys!!" You knew you were beginning to sound whiny, but you didn't much care. As the cool air of the room chilled your socked feet, you gave Bucky the same pleading look you'd offered Loki earlier. He was equally as impervious to your pouting.

"This is for putting the salt in my coffee AND making me believe you hadn't done it!" Bucky began scratching along the soles of your feet with both hands, grinning when you threw your head back into Loki's shoulder and let out a rapid stream of giggles. "Aww, now that's adorable!"

"Buhuhucky!! Stohohop teasing mehehe! You're such a jeheherk!"

"Now that's no way to speak to the soldier!" Loki scolded playfully, digging his fingers into your ribcage. You batted at Loki's hands weakly as your giggling intensified to belly laughter.

"No-no-NOHOHO LOKI! GUHUYS!!" You were finding very little success in fighting either of them off, practically melting into Loki with desperate laughter. Giving up on tugging at Loki's hands, you let them rest on his knees on either side of you, squeezing into the muscle above his kneecap as he discovered a particularly sensitive spot at the bottom of your ribs.

You didn't expect the god to yelp in surprise, his fingers suddenly stilling against your ribcage. Bucky halted his attack as well, startled by the sudden jolt by the trickster god.

"Loki?" You turned your head to look at the red-faced trickster, a wide smirk painted across your face. "Something you want to tell me?"

"Not a word," he growled.

"Oh, don't try to hide it! You ARE ticklish!" You squeezed rapidly at his knees for emphasis, giggling as he began to laugh and squirm to evade your fingers. "I am SO getting revenge!"

"I think not, darling."

"Bucky? Do you think you'd be willing to help me out here?"

"Help you pick on Loki? Absolutely." Before Loki could react, Bucky shifted his hands to pin down Loki's ankles, holding fast. You continued to pinch ruthlessly at his knees, pleased with yourself for stumbling upon the one spot that drew laughter from the God of Mischief.

"BARNES! RELEHEHEASE ME!" Loki demanded loudly.

"That's no way to talk to the soldier, Loki," you mimicked, sliding your fingers underneath his knees to scratch at the delicate skin through the material of his pants. This seemed to be even more effective, as his laughter actually pitched up in volume and his arms constricted around you more tightly in a desperate attempt to pull your hands away from his knees.

He began to weakly tickle your ribs again in a last-ditch effort to get you to falter in your efforts to torment him. It worked, surprising you enough to make you drag your arms back to block your ribs and begin to giggle ticklishly again.

"OK, OK TRUHUHUCE!" you pleaded. Loki relented, and Bucky released him, chuckling at the pair of you.

"Wow. I gotta say - it's not every day that you witness a tickle fight between an Avenger and a god," he snickered, rising to his feet and offering you a hand up. You accepted it, turning to help Loki to his feet as well.

"You'd be wise not to breathe a word of this to anyone else," Loki growled at him.

"Uh, yeah, I agree, you need to swear secrecy here, Buck," you added, folding your arms and glowering at him.

"Oh, hell no! I'm telling everyone about this, it's too good not to!" he refused, smirking. "Between you having lied to everyone that you aren't ticklish, and him just being Loki and ALSO being ticklish, there's no way I can keep this to myself."

You turned to look at Loki, a panicked look in your eyes. He met your gaze, a smirk slowly spreading across his face as a thought crossed his mind. You realized exactly what he was thinking, the pair of you turning on a disgruntled-looking Bucky.

"Alright, Buck - I think it's time to find out if super soldiers are ticklish too."

Part 3

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝑅𝐸𝑀𝐸𝑀𝐵𝐸𝑅

PART ONE

𝙇𝙊𝙆𝙄 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬: Bored after staying on Asgard your entire life, you decide to sneak on earth. But what happens when Steve falls irrevocably in love with you, the Queen of Asgard, wife of Loki.

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: yandere, obsession, death, violence, cursing, manipulation. If you find any of this triggering, please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.  

ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ

As you know my previous account got deleted and therefore I have to post this again... Hope you guys like it!

SERIES MASTERLIST || MASTERLIST

You sat reading a book in the ethereal gardens of the Palace, with your back pressed against a tree. Loki had brought that book from Midgard. You loved reading, and Loki always got you books from all over the nine realms. That’s how you had bonded in the very beginning.

As you read the book, you had a feeling you already knew what was going to happen, as if you had already read it. So, you closed it and stared at the grand garden before you. Filled with plethora of flowers, the sweet smell diffusing in the air, the palette of colors pleasing the eye.

“Do you need something?” Your maid asked. You shook your head, “I don’t, and even if I needed something I would take it myself.” You gave her a smile at that.

You were the daughter of a common farmer; you were independent since your birth. You had a habit of doing everything by yourself and even despite it being years since marrying Loki, you still couldn’t quite get adjusted to maids. They weren’t servants for you, they were your friends. Your humility and intelligent was something Loki had fallen head over heels for.

The entire Asgard was happy and wonderfully surprised when Loki had announced that he would be marrying you. A common girl with barely any powers was marrying the God of Mischief and the king of Asgard; that had generated quite the rumors, some even thought it was one of his pranks. Even you were worried, but Loki had chased all your worries away.

Despite Thor being the elder brother, Loki had been crowned as the king. Though Thor was powerful and had immense strength, he neither wished to be the king, nor did he have the time to be one. He was rather busy with Midgard and thus Loki had taken the mantle.

When it came to you, even despite being the God of Lies, Loki never lied. He was the best husband you could ask for. Taking your opinions in consideration, asking for your help, cherishing you, loving you more than anybody else. He didn’t rule Asgard alone, no, he ruled Asgard alongside you.

You had changed him; from the selfish Loki whose heart was filled with vengeance, you had made him into a noble and beloved king. But still he never stopped pulling pranks on you, and you took it just as lightly. He was still very mischievous at his heart and you had accepted him with all he brought along.

There was just one thing he didn’t allow: you visiting Earth. And that was only because he was worried for you. The people of Midgard had not taken his attack lightly, and they were still very much furious. Though they were now on good terms, he didn’t want anything to happen to you. You were his everything.

And visiting Earth at least once was one of the only things you wanted. Literally everyone had been to Midgard except you. Even Loki and definitely Thor frequented Midgard, but not you. Once a month you both used to come to that topic and he would brush you off, promising you to take somewhere else. And that maybe fueled your need to go to Midgard even more.

“What are you thinking about, my love?” When you heard his sweet yet authoritative voice, you smiled softly. Lost in thoughts you hadn’t even noticed he was sitting beside you. You inhaled deeply, “I was thinking about the forbidden fruit. I was thinking what would go wrong if I went to Midgard. Just once Loki, just once. That’s the only thing I ask of. I’ve heard the Earth is circular, unlike Asgard!” You asked giving him your best puppy dog eyes.

“Now my beloved, how many times, huh? How many times do I have to list the reasons why you shouldn’t visit Midgard. I won't be able to live if something happens to you. I will go insane, there won’t be a point in living.” He gently took your chin between his fingers and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek.  

“I know Loki, I love you too. But aren’t your relations with Earth better now? And Thor goes there all the time and so do you! And I have powers Loki!” You had the powers of making anyone reveal the truth. You were a rarity; a commoner with powers. Your ability to extract truth was really an ace at your side while ruling Asgard.

“We don’t know if someone is holding any grudge. I can’t risk it. Ask me anything, I will search the entire universe for it and bring it upon your feet. Just not Earth. Now I don’t want to ruin such a perfect day by arguing with you.” Before you could speak further, he shut you with a kiss.

As you both laid in each other embrace, you got lost in the abyss of his eyes. “Oh Loki, do you know how much I love you?” With eyes full of mischief, “Well you do know a certain way to show your love, my beloved wife.” He quipped.

~~~

Today Thor was leaving for Midgard. And at the same time, you had made your plans to sneak. You had started wondering if Loki had a mistress there, well what else could be his reason for not permitting you to visit Earth.

One part of the plan was already in action. You had shared your concerns with Heimdall. He had been awfully quiet but when you had pleaded and asked of it as a favor for his Queen, he had agreed. On the condition that you would return within 3 days, or else he would pull you back to Asgard. You had happily agreed.

The plan was simple, while he would transport Thor, you would go too, you just had to stand close enough to Thor. All excited, you got ready in the best of your clothes. You knew they didn’t dress like this on Midgard, but you had an impression to make as the Queen of Asgard.

The dark green silk robe complimented your emerald wedding ring; you wore button earrings and connected them to your hair clip with chains. You let your hair down but not without braiding few locks of hair; your right index and ring fingers were adorned with your best rings. You wanted to wear your crown, but decided it would be too much for Midgardians; after all you were going there for vacation, you had no plans of ruling earth.

Not many were there to say goodbye to Thor, the Prince travelled very frequently. You were glad that today neither Loki nor the warriors were there. “Goodbye Thor, have a safe journey!” You said as you stood a little too close to him. It was your signal for Heimdall to transport you to Midgard. “Thank you, sister...” before Thor could complete his sentence, you were both sucked into the wormhole.

~~~

It was a.... cool experience to say at least. To be honest, you had no idea. You had kept your eyes closed through half of the journey, and you had probably screamed your throat dry. You did travel through the Bifrost at times but Loki always held you tight. Today though you were spinning all by yourself in the rainbow tunnel. Thank the Norns, it was over faster that you expected.

As Thor landed gracefully in the Avengers compound, you landed straight on your ass and skidded halfway across, bruising you elbow and knuckles.

Thor’s voice boomed aloud, as you tried to get up rubbing your aching ass, “Oh dear Sister! Are you alright?” He said as he helped you get up, “Well, Heimdall didn’t tell me how to land.” You tried to lighten the mood.

“There must have been some mistake. Don’t worry I’ll call Heimdall to send you back.” He said softly while rubbing your elbow as he began praying to Heimdall.

“Uhh, well Thor, that’s not needed. And this... this wasn’t an accident at all. I kind of made a deal with Heimdall and he sent me here...” Thor’s eyes widened with shock and what you thought was anger. You had never ever seen Thor get angry at you, ever. And you were truly scared now.

Thor and you were best of friends. It was as if you two were siblings, not Thor and Loki. As you looked at him now, you knew you had truly screwed up. You knew your decision would anger Loki, but his anger you could handle. You weren’t quite sure about it with respect to Thor.

“You did what? You aren’t supposed to be here! You are going back to Asgard before anyone sees you.” He held you by your elbow and it hurt like hell. “But Thor,...” you tried pleading. Maybe you had not guessed the extent of your family’s anger correctly and you knew you were going to pay for it badly.

“I wasn’t asking you.” He said in an impersonal tone. “You need to understand this is for your own good.” You were tired of listening to the same thing over and over again for so many years. And you finally snapped.

“Tell me the truth Thor! I know that’s not the only reason, why don’t you people want me to come here? Does... does Loki have a mistress here? Huh? I’m so sick of listening to you people give me all kinds of stupid reasons to keep me away from here! You know, if maybe you had not reinforced the fact that I’m not allowed to visit Midgard again and again, then maybe I wouldn’t be so obsessed with coming here.” You couldn’t hold your tears back.

“It’s not what you are thinking, trust me sister, Loki only loves you. But we need to go now and don’t use your powers on me.” You snatched your hand away from him. He was correct in guessing your intentions, you were going to use your powers on him to make him say the truth. But his anger held you back. After all, he was your family, and this visit to earth was just three days long.

“There’s one catch; you can’t take me back. I told you, I’ve made a deal with Heimdall. It includes that He won’t open the Bifrost for me to leave Earth until the evening of the third day!”

~~~

The Avengers were all gathered in the briefing room. Thor was coming back and they needed to discuss an important upcoming mission. As Steve stood telling everyone about the mission, they could hear the tell-tale noise of the rainbow tunnel as they called it.

Tony yawned loudly and stood up from his chair, he was least bit interested in the meeting and just wanted to get out. “Thor is here. We should go meet him.” He said stretching. Steve rolled his eyes, while Nat and Clint got up.

“We can continue, Thor knows where to come.” Steve interjected. “I guess Tony is right on this one.” Wanda said shrugging. Before they could continue, they heard the noise of Thor and a lady arguing. Her voice was vaguely familiar.

“Let’s go!” Tony said excitedly as he hoped to get a little more spice on this dull day. Reluctantly even Steve joined the entire group as they walked outside. Thor was facing them and from his gestures even they knew he was truly angry. The lady had her back to them, her golden magic swirling around her hand, showing her anger and annoyance at Thor. She was dressed in the finest fabric.  

Thor stood still and suddenly stopped fighting as he saw literally all of the Avengers looking at the two of them with keen interest. You saw his stunned and somewhat worried expression, so before he could stop you whipped your head around.

The moment you turned, Steve’s heart stopped in his chest. He couldn’t believe his eyes. This was not true; this couldn’t be true. You were just like in his dreams, if not more beautiful. Your eyes pulled him in like sirens calls. Your voice a sweet balm on his heartache. You looked like a goddess, and he was sure you were one. But, how could you possibly be here? So very real, standing in front of him in all your grace, just as if to taunt him.

You tilted your head in confusion, all of them, literally all of them were staring at you as if they had seen a dead person walk out of the grave. “Uh, well, you must be the Avengers I’ve heard so much about! It was rude of us to fight out here, and I apologize for the commotion. Let me introduce myself, I’m Y/N, The Queen of Asgard and the wife of the beloved King Loki.”

As you said the words, all of the Avengers’ eyes widened with confusion, as fear and anger gripped their hearts.

[lovelybarnes]

god- l. laufeyson (part 2)

pairings: loki laufeyson x reader, platonic!tony stark x reader, mentions of nick fury warnings: language and minor angst about: part 2 to god a/n: i apologize for taking so long to post it, i was having trouble coming up with the little details and honestly just writing overall but it’s up!! and another bucky fic will be up tomorrow or saturday!!

loki is suspicious after you leave. in the- admittedly short- time he’s been shoved away and locked in a cage to rot, he had seen you all of two times, and he was enthralled. flabbergasted, too, surprised that a simple mortal managed to stay hidden in the deep parts of his brain and refuse to leave. you were… interesting, just as you had described him: not as a villain, or evil, or horrendous, but captivating; unbelieving that he would do anything for no good reason.

whether that was true or not was still up for debate, so he had yet to decide if you were incredibly intelligent or the simple, stupid mortal he thought you all to be. nevertheless, he found himself slightly disappointed when you left, waving goodbye to him and tucking your book under your arm. while he tried to dissolve the sensation, tony stark came bounding in, standing as close as he could to the glass barrier. stark barked words that loki didn’t care much for, ignoring the man. he could see you wince from inside the elevator, a sliver of your face still available from the closing doors.

“hey, hey!” stark barked, snapping his fingers at loki. the god tilted his head at him, “yes?” he asks, voice dripped in more annoyance than usual. “that girl who just came out of here?” stark started, while loki took a minute to examine his words, “girl,” was she not an accomplished avenger? he thought tony of all people would show the respect that loki thought none of them deserved. “if you even think about doing anything to her, i will bring in the big guy to slam you around some more. you remember him? or do you need a refresher?”

loki nearly scowls at the mention of hulk, body reminding the strange ache that was left after the oaf slammed him into the floor. he only chuckles lowly, though, “how much do you distrust a fellow avenger to believe they cannot handle themselves?” loki muses. tony scoffs, shaking his head, “i really don’t think you’re in a position to question me.”

“i’m a god. i am always in the position i wish to be in,” loki reminds, making tony roll his eyes, “you’ll never see her again if i can help it. and i can,” he says. “oh, but i like her!” loki rebuts, riling tony up, “so sweet, don’t you think?” tony freezes, abruptly turning around and slamming a hand against the glass, “you will not lay a hand on her. i’ll make sure of it.”

“i seem to remember midgardians can usually do as they please,” loki replies smoothly. “and you really think she’ll want to spend time with a monster?” tony questions. loki smirks, “i suppose i simply have a feeling.”

-

tony is seething when he comes to your lab, having switched with steve to come talk to you. you’re humming along to a song he doesn’t bother to recognize. “you’re in a good mood,” tony observes. at the sound of his voice, you turn, taking your earbuds out and grinning at him. you press what he assumes is the pause button on your phone, “tony! i’ve actually been meaning to ask you something,” you begin. tony raises an eyebrow to tell you to continue. “it’s about loki,” you continue, anxious about his reaction. the man pauses, exhaling softly, “oh. i know what you want to- i’m so sorry for doing that to you, y/n. i promised that i wouldn’t put you with him and we should’ve been more prepared. it won’t happen again.”

the confusion is clear on your face, vocally affirming it with a “huh?”

“that’s what you wanted to talk about, right? babysitting loki?”

“well, yes, but no, it actually wasn’t bad, i wanted to bring up the idea of maybe allowing him books? or maybe music or something, i can’t imagine going from having any book at your fingertips to none at all. also, he’s not getting enough food and i wanted to talk to you abou-” tony stops you with a raised hand, “what?” you recognize the conversation won’t end too well, so you try to phrase your words in a way that tony won’t get too angry at. “i just- when i was watching him, i thought we could be a little less… cruel.”

“with the guy who tried to take over earth?” tony retorts, you sigh softly, already beginning to feel resigned. “he still deserves to eat,” you defend weakly, “come on, tony, please? i’ll watch over him myself when he’s listening to music or reading or eating and i’ll take it back when i have to leave.” tony shakes his head, “someone will always be watching, and it won’t be you.” you frown, “why? don’t you trust me? i’m an avenger, tony. i’m not weak or useless, it’s just watching over someone who is literally in a cage. he can’t even escape.” tony’s about to say no again, so you press, “how come nick fury- man who doesn’t trust- trusts me enough to do that but you don’t?”

tony’s fingers squeeze the space between his eyebrows, eyes closed. he contemplates the effects if he refuses, no doubt ending in the thinning-by-the-minute thread that is your trust in him completely snapping.

“fine,” he finally agrees, and your frustrated frown melts back into a relieved small smile, “but everything you give him has to go through someone else first. i don’t care if it’s fury or hill or romanoff or me, but it has to be approved.” you nod quickly, “yes, of course.” tony raises a finger, “and, you will watch him the whole time. you got yourself into this, kid. i trust you can protect yourself from him if you ever need to.” you agree, “absolutely, and, uh-” you reach into your bag, pulling out the book finnegan’s wake, and your old ipod, equipped with a single downloaded song and earbuds plugged in. “i actually have already chosen a book and a song that i think he would appreciate during the time he tells me himself what he would like and while it gets approved, and um,” you push the objects toward tony, a surprised look lining his features, “since you have time now… the ipod has only that one song and i doubt he can do anything with either of the items, although i’ll be here if he does.”

“you picked these out for him?” tony questions, and you nod again, “i don’t really know him, i doubt anybody does, but i thought james joyce was a good guess considering.” tony looks from the objects in your hand back to you, before sighing and grabbing them. “i want to break free?” he asks, holding up the ipod. you feel your cheeks heat, “music is hard, i went for the obvious.”

tony exhales, looking down at the book, “fine, both are approved.”

“what, you’re not gonna check to see if i carved out a hole into the book and put the tesseract in there so he could escape?” you ask sarcastically, taking back the items while he rolls his eyes. “no, i trust you.” you grin, “you better. there’s no reason for you to not,” tony agrees with you softly, genuinely feeling bad while he kisses your cheek in goodbye. “steve was just called on a mission and needs a replacement, so you better get down there. bowser isn’t in a good mood today.”

you huff out a light laugh at the nickname, cradling your dear books and tangling your fingers in the cords of the earbuds while you walk to the elevator. you catch your bottom lip between your teeth while you watch the numbers blink above the elevator doors, nerves from your choices finally making a home in the pit of your stomach and making your grip tighten on the items. you really don’t know him, and one of the few things that you do know about him is that he isn’t the nicest- although you think it probable that it was warranted- which begins the inkling of regret of your carefully-picked choice to form. you try your best to push past it though, attempting to reassure yourself through the fact that loki’s reading options are limited, and as evil as everyone (including him) claims he is, you suspect (hope) that there is something in him that can’t simply disregard kind gestures. you suppose that theory is from what thor has told you about frigga. you hope it’s correct.

the elevator dings, knocking your thoughts off their destructive railroad and your attention to the shield guard wearily eyeing you and what you carry. “hey, wally,” you greet, shooting him a smile as you walk over to him, pulling your id card from your pocket. “what’cha got there?” he asks, sitting up straighter in his chair to look closer at you. “a- already approved by tony stark- book and song for loki. you know how much he had access to in asgard?” you question. he shakes his head, and you sigh, “me neither. but i imagine it’s a lot, and i don’t think he’s been introduced to our books yet.”

wally stares at you for a few seconds, before pursing his lips, “already approved by stark?” he checks, “already approved by tony,” you repeat. “just no ear things. don’t want him to choke somebody,” he instructs, holding out his hand. you oh quietly, hurriedly pulling off the headphones and putting them in his hand. wally only nods then, trusting you enough to not ask for any more reassurance, and pressing a button next to him to allow you into another elevator. the ride is much shorter, and you bounce on your heels, fidgeting with the edge of the book.

you barely recognize when the doors part, the slick-haired god already examining you. “in asgard, it is strongly discouraged to damage books like you are doing,” loki states. you stop your picking, dropping your hand and walking inside. “hello to you too, loki.” the god ignores you, instead focused on what is in your arms. “i thought any pleasantries for you weren’t allowed down here,” he says, eyes focused on your ipod. “ah, not if you ask nicely,” you reply, standing next to the chair, “and, these aren’t for me.”

you set your own book down on the floor- a very cliche wuthering heights, but it was either that or romeo and juliet, and you’d prefer not get caught reading about a forbidden romance while watching a villain- and hold up the one for him, grinning. “so i don’t know much about asgard or its books because thor hasn’t budged yet on taking me, but from what i can gather, you have little to no media from here, right?” loki ducks his chin suspiciously in response. “so i can imagine you haven’t read shakespeare, or james joyce, which reminds me a lot of you, so…”

you offer no more explanation, putting the book on your chair and showing him the ipod, walking closer to the glass. “this is an ipod. it’s used to play songs offline, and i picked one out for you. i don’t know if you’ll like it because i don’t really know what type of music you like or if you like it at all-” you pause, finally recognizing how long it had been since he’d talked. “but, uh, i hope you do.”

you look up at him then, unsurprised to find him already staring back at you. “you did this for me… why?” he queries skeptically. “i told you before; i imagine it’s difficult to go from everything to nothing in a day. and i think it must be boring to be trapped in there all day with nothing to do.”

loki still looks distrustful, but you grab the book, pulling out the key card to open his food slot. “i can’t leave these in here after i leave, but i’ll stay until you finish both,” you assure, pushing the book through the small gap. your ipod is still in your hands as you walk back near him. he looks at you for a few moments longer before his eyes flick to the book. “and there are no… explosives? poison of some kind in that?”

you shake your head, “no, of course not.”

loki narrows his eyes at the paperback anyways, walking towards it apprehensively. “when you want me to, i can teach you how the ipod works and you can listen to the song. it’s by a rock band called queen,” you babble, watching as he slowly observes the book before picking it up at an even more leisurely pace.

“i’m going to go sit over there now. just let me know if you need something,” you can’t seem to stop talking, so you focus instead on your legs moving you back to your seat, picking up your novel before sitting. you’re about to ramble on about something else again, until you notice the publication in loki’s hands, slightly panicking at the immediate rush of satisfaction and happiness it gives you when he opens the first page.

you try to avoid the sound of turning pages when you stay stuck on the same sentence, too concerned about why your neck decided to warm when the god accepted your favor.

“you can play it,” loki voices suddenly, almost as if reading the loud thoughts about your decision on the song. he looks up at you, “reading is usually accompanied by light music, but i suppose i could listen to rock.”

you nod, pressing a button on the small device that makes the beginning notes bounce off the walls of the room. your fingers gently tap along to the beat on the edge of your page without your noticing, too used to the melody to not react. you try not to look too hard at loki to watch for his reaction, too interested if he’ll like it or not.

after the first minute passes by and he doesn’t object to the sound, you count this as a win, allowing yourself to relax into your chair and actually read the words lined on the page, discovering them to make a lovely combination. you only notice when the song ends when loki speaks up, “it is okay,” he compliments, “i enjoyed it. i think i’d enjoy your so called queen.” you chuckle softly, “i thought you would. do you have any favorites here so i can add them for next time?”

“no,” loki responds, not taking his eyes off the page. “i’ll find some for you, then,” you promise, then press play on the ipod again, not missing the tiny quirk of loki’s lips, making you way too giddy than you should be.

-

after it has been over six hours and loki has barely finished finnegans wake, you’re completely sure he took extra time to read it; whether it be to absorb it better or simply have more time with it in his hands, you don’t care, pride swelling up in your chest because you did something right for him. he hadn’t complained about the repeated song, and you can’t blame him. the sounds are a lot more entertaining than the cold silence that usually occupies the space where he resides.

you ask loki more about what he thought, attempting to coerce him into telling you his preferences, until tony is calling you up.

you’re about to leave, both books and ipod in hand when you pause.

“y/n,” loki starts, and you realize it is the first time you’d hear your name out of his mouth. you decide you like how it sounds in his voice, not disregarding how you shouldn’t. “yes?” you answer instead, meeting his eyes. “thank you.”

you swallow, surprised at the genuinity in his voice while you nod, “it was no problem.”

loki finds it disturbing how much he dislikes seeing you walk away.

[devotedtoafrozenheart]

Wasted Times. Chapter two.

Loki x female! reader

Summary: With literally no-one looking his way, it was just too easy for Loki to grab onto the tesseract, and also you, so he was able to transport away from the collapsing Tony Stark and everyone else in the stupid Avengers tower. Doing this, having messed up a so-called 'sacred' timeline, Loki lands himself in the TVA, and as he seized your arm, taking you down with him, you also end up there. Stuck with the raving, handsome god of mischief. At first observation, you genuinely thought he was a sadist. But (time?) with him reveals something so much more. For one thing, he's awfully sad and poetic, and he's not as evil as he looks.......

A/N: Second chapter lmao. The first part got 17 notes which is kinda good considering I hadn't posted anything before. Mobius is a father figure character. Again, I'm new here, if you enjoy this please leave a like!!

BIG trigger warning: This contains semi-graphic mentions of self-harm for the reader. It's not too descriptive (flashback) but pleaseee be careful of reading, it's at the end of the chapter. If you ever need support, pleasee reach out to someone. Pleasee take caution here.

You and Loki had gotten your tickets processed.

It hadn’t taken very long, but who the heck knew what the concept of time meant in this place. You still really hadn’t accepted that this was your life now, but alas, after the ticket-processing B-15 had lead the two of you to a courtroom with creepy orange paintings on both sides of the walls.

Paintings of these so called ‘time-keepers.’

Sounded fake, but you knew now that it was probably true.

Loki had gone first, up to the podium, to the judge, who was a very stern-looking, sharp-edged woman. She had obviously noticed you, but Loki was getting grilled first. Good on him. “Loki Laufyeson. Variant L1130, codename Loki Laufyeson, charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. Please step up to the podium. How do you plead?”

Loki audibly scoffed, and you smiled a little bit, he wasn’t going down without some snark in is system.

“Ma’am, a God doesn’t plead.”

“Are you guilty or not guilty sir?” The woman was not very pleased, sitting up in her royal spot. “Guilty of being the god of mischief, yes. Guilty of finding all of this incredibly tedious, yes. Guilty of a ‘crime against the sacred timeline’? Absolutely not you have the wrong person.” “Oh? And who do you think we should have?”

Loki actually turned around and looked at you, you cut him a hideous look, none of this was even remotely your fault.

“I suspect the Avengers. I came into possession of the Tesseract because they travelled through time, no doubt in a last-ditch effort to stave off my ascent into God King.”

“That’s quite an accusation.”

“Oh trust me, you could smell the cologne of two Tony Starks.” “We’re not here to talk about the Avengers. What they did was supposed to happen. You escaping was not.” You then noticed a handsome suit-wearing guy enter into the courtroom, with greying hair and a thin, barely visible moustache. He stared at you for a second, like he easily recognised you, even though you had never ever seen him before in your life.

“You’re Y/N.” He whispered, which shocked you, because it was so out of the blue, because you had never even met this man before, yet alone talked to him.

“What! How do you know my name?” “I’ve met you before. You’re always so nice.”

“Huh? What does that mean? I’ve never seen you.” But the man simply shook his head, sitting down in one of the rows. Loki was still auguring his case, so you turned your confused attention back to the front of the room. “I’m guilty, of this.” Loki held out his arms as you always did when you used your telekinesis power.

Nothing happened.

“Hang on… Just a sec.” Loki hit the podium in evident frustration, nothing was going right for him. It almost made you laugh. “What’s happening?” “He’s trying to use his powers, ma’am.” “Magic powers are nothing in the TVA, Mr. Laufyeson. The court finds you guilty, and I order you to be reset!” The time cops came up to Loki, immediately seizing him by the arms.

You stared in utter horror, but Loki fought back, and you were signalled to go to the podium. Now, it was your time to die. “You ridiculous bearcats will NOT determine how my story ends! You have NO idea what I’m capable of!!” You then stood on the podium, almost in tears at the sheer ruthlessness of this situation.

They hadn’t even really given him a chance to talk.

If Loki was going to be ‘reset’, well, in this situation it didn’t really warrant a good ending for you either. “I think I know what’s he capable of.” The grey-haired silver fox commented that dryly, standing up off his seat. “Alright. But first, this case.” The guy, for no reason, gave you this oddly reassuring nod, maybe he could vouch for your safety.

“Y/N Y/L/N. Variant E-9125. Charged with sequence violation 7-20-88. How do you plead?”

“Um. Uh. Well. Ok. I’m only here because of Loki. Trust this, this was not my fault. I shouldn’t be guilty because I didn’t want this to happen! Not my fault at all. But, if you have to kill him, just kill me too. Just kill me anyway. It would be unfair to, um, delete him, but not delete me as well.” “Miss Y/N, you actually want us to prune you along with this evil criminal???”

You blinked up at the lady, not even knowing what to say. Just a few hours ago, your mind had been fevered, fighting off the chitauri. Now you were in a brutal, un-forgiving court of time law. The grey-haired guy approached you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. You blinked in silence, and he turned to face the judge.

“Ravonna, you can’t prune Y/N. You’ve met her other variants. They’ve never given us any trouble. She didn’t even want to be in this situation. It was Loki’s fault in the first place. You know statically she has the most peaceful variants.” “Ok, Mobius. You’ve always had a soft spot for her. I have, too. I admit that. But what are we going to do with this one?”

“She can help us. They both can.”

“Loki can? Come over here.”

‘Mobius’ approached ‘Ravonna’, and they had a quick discussion in hushed tones. Mobius was seemingly successful, because he nodded, signalling for you to come over to Loki. You plopped off the podium and walked over to Loki, who gave you very a strange look. “What now?” “You wanted to go down with me too, if I was to be killed.”

“Yeah. Well. Take that as a compliment.”

You and Loki had to follow Mobius, who lead a trail for the TVA, there seemed to be endless corridors, stairways, and floors, it seemed to go on forever. Like one giant labyrinth. Un-escapable. Loki was fuming, knowing it would be near impossible to find his way back around. You walked silently, trying and failing to generate the fire power in your hands.

You walked way behind both the men, Mobius kept a quick pace and Loki had long, tall strides.

“Walk faster, Y/N. Then you’ll get to know me more.”

“I’m tired!” You called that out, just like a little kid complaining. “I’m going to burn this place to the ground.” Loki interjected, seething with rage. “No you actually won’t, Loki. You don’t even have your powers anymore. There’s no way.” “I thought you were on my side now, Y/N.” “Get crucial. These people control time. And you think a few silly magic tricks will stop them?”

“Y/N’s right. This is home now. No escape.” Loki stopped, and you stopped, staring out at TVA horizon. It was so futuristic, with floating cars or whatever, buildings attached to literally nothing, a feeling this area wasn’t on a physical planet, because the backdrop behind the buildings was nothingness, the statue of the timekeepers holding up the sacred timeline.

“Wow.” You whispered, smiling at the complexity of it all.

Loki couldn’t help but stare at your beautiful, genuine smile, and you stared back, until he suddenly shook his head and looked away. “I thought you said there was no magic here.” “There isn’t. I’m agent M. Mobius by the way.” You had arrived at an elevator, and Mobius waited for you to get inside.

It was a huge elevator, there was elevator music playing. It felt like the afterlife trip down into hell.

Mobius held out his hand for you, and with your good manners you shook it. He smiled at you weirdly. “Always nice variants. You statically have the nicest variants. We do run the math.” “I have literally no idea what that means.” “Are you taking us somewhere to kill us?” “No, that’s where you just were. I’m taking you somewhere to talk.”

“Well I don’t like to talk.”

 “But you do like to lie, which you just did. Cause we all know you love to talk. Y/N, do you like to talk?” “Um. Not so much. Especially not about me.” “How long have you been here?” “Well, that’s hard to say. Time passes differently here in the TVA.” “What’s that mean?” “You’ll catch up.” The elevator opened and you stepped out, while Loki continued to rant and rave with his feverish mind.

You could see all the frustration in his body language, his clenched shoulders, his closed fists, you made an effort to relax your body, there would be no more fighting here today. In-fact, even with the horror of this situation, it was a nice change to be away from the dangerous chaos of New York. “So you’re part of the TVA’s dedicated and coruages workforce.” Loki was bitter.

“Yes.”

“You were created by the ‘time keepers’ to protect the sacred timeline.” “Correct!” Loki laughed. It was a pitiful, poisoned, harsh sound. “Is that funny?” Mobius gently stopped you from walking away, he had turned off at the stairs to the ‘Time theatre’, but you hadn’t noticed, you had just kept walking.

He gently held your arm, it was a caring, syampthic gesture.

Or maybe it was just a con.

“Yes. The idea that your little club decides the fate of trillions of people across all of existence at the behest of three space lizards? Yes. It’s funny. It’s absurd.” You couldn’t help but smile a little bit, this did feel like a fever dream, he had a point. “What. Y/N, you agree with him?” “No. I believe what you’re saying is true, because there’s evidence, and because I’ve heard of weirder things before. It just truly sounds ridiculous, as he said.”

“Lucky for you, we’ve always had a soft spot for your variants. Even the time keepers.” “I still don’t understand what you mean.” “It means everyone loves you and you’re just so overly perfect, Y/N. nothing bad has ever happened to you, and you live a blessed life.” Loki raged that, sarcasm dripping in his voice.

“Uh huh. Everyone loves me? My ass. I don’t even love myself.”

Mobius opened the door to the time theatre, and you entered. It was a huge room with three chairs, a table in the middle, strange lighting and an intimidating, but also totally blank atmosphere. “For the record, this really does feel like a killing-us kind of room.” “I guess you’re not big on trust.”

“Trust is for children. And dogs.”

“Hey! I thought we were going to trust each other.”

“I lied, Y/N. You’re on your own.”

It was stupid, but you couldn’t help but blink back some emotion in your eyes. You turned away for a second so they couldn’t see it, and blinked back a frightened, distraught tear. You were so tired and so lonely, and you were with these people you didn’t know in a strange place. Your only company was the insane, villainous asshole God who had tried to enslave New York, the one who had just killed eighty people.

Loki was the only person you vaguely recognised.

Of course he wasn’t actually going to help you. Of course. It had been a trick. A lie. A deception. Liar. Backstabber. Coward. Mobius noticed, but Loki didn’t. Mobius looked sincerely concerned, probably because you seemed like some pathetic overly-emotional teenager with a bucket full of hormonal angst. You technically were still like that, to tell the truth.

Loki sat down at the table, but you didn’t, you just stood there, encased in sadness and emptiness. Loki finally noticed, and sighed hugely, issuing for you to join him. “Y/N, I was kidding. Please. I’m not going to betray you. Just assume everything I say is a mean joke, ok? I’m going to protect you in this place.”

You said nothing but sat down, almost on the verge of crying.

Crying for your mom and your friends and New York and Tony and the team and having dinner with the team and listening to Bruce talking about science and everything else that had been snatched away from you. Mobius simply watched you and placed his hand over your shoulder, your father had never been a caring man like that, so this almost made you cry harder.

“Loki, will you just go easy on her for a minute? Anybody knows she’s too young for this and she’s seen a lot of horrors in her file.” “I’m sorry, girl. I really am. I’m an dreadful person, I know.” “I’m fine.” But your voice shook and wobbled. It seemed like Mobius was going to give you the look of pity. In all honesty, you couldn’t even blame him.

“Whatever. You guys can kill me in this awful place. I’m never getting back home and my mind is shaken and I have nothing to live for anymore. Loki, you could have killed me. You should have.” “Y/N, please don’t start on that line. I’m not going to kill you ever, and there’s a lot to enjoy in the TVA. A little birdie told me you want to know about US presidents variants……. You would know we get hundreds of those. Thousands of them, actually.”

This slowly perked you up. “What? Huh? Really?” The TVA worker observed Loki. The God of mischief was smouldering. He was barley holding in all the anger. “If looks could kill.” “What do you want from us? Why do you have us here?” “Well, let’s start with a little co-operation.” “Not my forte.”

“Y/N’s forte.”

“Yes. I really hate arguments and fights.”

“That’s very true. Because you went totally ballistic on me before ticket processing.” “Shut the hell up. You deserved that. You dragged me into this mess, after all.” “I specialise in the pursuit of dangerous variants.” “Like me?” “No. Particularly dangerous variants. You’re just a little pussycat.”

Loki didn’t respond.

“I’ve got a series of questions for you. Answer them honestly, and I might get what you want.” Mobius proceeded to question Loki on his desire to claim a throne. You could see Loki wasn’t at all amused, and it was pretty funny, how Mobius brutally toyed with him like that. As you weren’t a part of this conversation anymore you remained silent, quietly thinking to yourself.

Hands folded in your lap.

You should have just gone with Steve for search and rescue.

He had asked for your help, but Thor had placed another comforting hand on your shoulder, declaring you had done enough. But you should have. You and Steve would have joked around while organizing the search, he always asked you about living in this century, and you would question him on the 1940s, and he would always be like ‘Why are you so interested in that?’

He carried you around on his back a lot like a sibling bond, he was strong he picked you up like you weighed nothing.

Good times.

Then you wouldn’t be in this time mess, with a trickster God and this matrix agent who knew you better than you knew yourself.

Loki nudged you on the arm, and you snapped back into focus, blinking at the Asgardian monster. “Hmm? What is it?” “And Y/N? What do you want?” “She just wants to go back home. Back to her mother and those hero fools.” Mobius grimaced, and you had a horrible sinking feeling this spelled your doom.

You sighed out loud.

“I can’t go back there, can I? Whatever. It’s fine. I’ll do whatever you guys want me to do. I just want to hear about these US presidents first. That’s my only condition.” “Alright. I’ll give you access to the files. Some of them are highly restricted.” “Holy shit. Cool! Thank you!” Loki laughed again, and you couldn’t exactly tell what he was laughing at.

“What? I just want to know what FDR did!”

“I see the time-keepers have built quite the circus. And the clowns are playing their parts to perfection.” Mobius chuckled with just a little amount of sarcasm. “Big metaphor guy. Makes you seem super smart.” He pressed a button on the orange monitor, and a wall of holographic footage began to form a few paces away.

“What’s this?”

“A sample of your greatest hits.” You saw the holographic image of Loki painfully crawling up the stairs, having just been thrashed around by the Hulk. “If it’s all the same to you, I’ll have that drink now.” You laughed lightly, with the projection of you and the other Avengers staring right down at the humiliated God.

“You know for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot.”

“Things didn’t go so well for the last person that said that to me.” “Oh yeah, Phil Coulson.” You went utterly still, un-able to stop yourself from watching the clip of Loki implaying Phil straight through the heart, all bloody. Straight through the heart. Not through the stomach. Through the heart. You shuddered, and wanted to pray, hoping Phil had at least found some peace and rest.

“Y/N, you loved Phil.”

“I did. Again, fuck you Loki for killing the man of my dreams. How cruel.” “He was just an agent, girl. Get over it. There’s thousands just like him.” “You didn’t have to kill him! He was a good person without all the pretentious bullshit. He was there for me a lot. He was the first person to um, tell me about the hero stuff.”

Mobius continued to roll the clips of Loki’s destruction; gouging out an eyeball, wading through the German crowd, destroying the New York city streets. etc. Loki looked extremely uncomfortable, but you still saw a few flashes of enjoyment in his eyes, the enjoyment of people’s pain. Sadism.

You were still very certain that he was a psychopath.

Turned out, Loki had been the mysterious airplane hacking D.B Cooper from the 1970s. You weren’t very familiar with the case, but it was still a big surprise. Something that had never been solved. He had pretended to be someone he was not. Mobius enjoyed teasing Loki, and even though he was a monstrous fool, you had to confess Loki had been humiliated and sickly-looking, that he deserved a little bit of mercy by the time lords.

“We were right there with you, surfing that sacred timeline.” “Enough!” Loki suddenly stood up, and you shrunk back, fear evidently etched into your reaction. Loki was forced right back into his seat with the time twister. He stared at you, the way you had curled away with a flinch, always scared of threatening physical violence.

Surprise was now coded into his handsome complexion; the long black hair and thin, delicate face. “Even she’s smarter than you, Loki. Time moves differently here. You can’t win.” “Y/N, I was just standing up to make a point.” You blinked, breathing deeply. Your dad- Your dad had never been the nicest or most gentle person.

Especially considering you were a mutant with freak powers.

“Sure. Ok. you do that.”

“But now it won’t be as meaningful.” “Boo hoo.” Loki stood up again, and you shared a knowing look with Mobius, who had one of the time batons laid on the table. You picked it up delicately, trying to understand what it was, feeling slightly bad for that kid who got disentrangrated. You had only been a few years older than him, to be honest.

“What does this do?”

“Deletes someone and their entire physical matter from the tethers of time and space within existence itself.”

You quickly dropped it, your eyes going wide. Mobius smiled. Loki was raving once again.

“I know what this place is. Even though the sweet girl here can’t see it. She might be a naïve, kind mortal, but I see right through this.” “Excuse me?” “What is it?” “It’s an illusion. It’s a cruel, elaborate trick conjoured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate attempt for control. Now you all parade about as if you are the divine arbiters of the universe.”

“We are.”

“You’re not. I was- I am on the verge of aquring everything I am owed, only because I did it, not because you, or the time keepers, or the time variance authority, of whatever you call yourselves allowed me to! Honestly you’re pathetic! A nothing. A detour. A footnote to my ascent! You stupid fools have no idea who I am, what I’m capable of, what I’ve achieved, and just how much I’m lusting to take you down!”

You covered your mouth to stop yourself from smiling. It was sad, and this situation was difficult, and in a way you agreed with the points, but Loki was having a total mental breakdown, just like any other normal human being. Just like you. And you were going to tease him for it. He was collapsing. Losing it. Off his axis.

“You finished? You’re going to start taking things seriously.”

“Y/N, be on my side. We have a fair trade here.” You stood up and walked over to him, and for a second, you placed a smug, cruel, ‘I pity you’ hand on his shoulder. It wasn’t much, and you hated him with a poison, but having a mental breakdown In any situation sucked. You would know. You had plenty of those everyday.

“Yea. I feel bad for you. Ok. I’m on your side. If you chill the FUCK out and apologise for New York, for Phil, and for this situation, we’re a team. For now though, fuck you. Not working with you until you apologise. Honest to Tony.” You shoved a middle-finger into his face, and then almost laughing hysterically, you let go off his shoulder, sitting back down at the table.

“I’m not going to apoglise for my right to be king, Midgardian snark.” “You’re freaking crazy, Loki. You’re cracked. I’ll get back to you when your sanity comes back. No deal for now though. No deal.” “I thought you were supposed to be kind.” “I am. I hate being mean to anyone. Except for the psychopathic, violent warhead.”

“Cruel words.”

“Look Loki, if you hadn’t picked up the tesseract, you would have just been taken back to a cell on Asgard.” The holographic footage showed Loki walking in chains. Then it showed Loki with a beautiful, older blonde-haired woman. “Hello mother, have I made you proud?” “Loki. Please don’t make this worse.”

“So that’s Frigga? Your mother? She’s so pretty.”

“This is nonsense. More tricks. Never even happened.” “You think you send the dark elves to your brother Thor... But instead.” A hideous, ugly creature was behind Frigga, it had her in a choke-hold. It stabbed her through the stomach even though she had no weapons, a brutal, cowardly move.

The crumpled figure of Frigga laid dead, bleeding out of her side.

Loki processed that for a second.

“What's this? It’s not true. It's a lie. I don’t believe it. Where is she? Where do you have her?” “You caused that to happen, Loki.” “No! You're lying to me! Where is she? Where do you have her?!” You sobbed at the rising voices. “You cause bad things to happen, Loki. Again, and again, and again. You hurt everyone around you. You’ve made a mess of your life. And that's the way the time goes.”

“I’m going to kill you!”

“What? Like how you killed your own mother?!”

Loki grabbed a chair and threw it in a rage, it didn’t shatter the screen, just bounced into small fragments that re-joined. He tried to storm over to Mobius but was stopped, forced back onto the ground. You stared all silently, wide-eyed at the dead Frigga and the fuming Loki.

A mother’s death was the harshest thing.

“Are you ok?” Loki glared at you but then softened, not able to believe you had just asked about him with genuine worry. “I’m sorry about your mother. if she’s truly supposed to die. I love my mom!” “You weren’t born to rule, Loki. You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. That’s how it was, that’s how it is, that’s how it will be.”

You frowned, scrunching up your nose. “Mobius, that’s a bit cruel. You just told him his mom died. Let him take a breath.” “That’s the truth, Y/N.” “And what was I born to do then?” “The exact opposite. Peace and prosperity!” “Bull. Incorrect. I haven’t done jack-shit.” Mobius extended a hand, and Loki took it, getting up off the ground.

You closed your eyes, leaning over the table.

You just needed… A rest. So tired. So far from home.

You heard the doors open, and B-15’s flatline voice. “What are you doing?” “My job. Is it yours to interrupt?” “There’s been a situation.” “Always a situation. Loki, I’m sorry about your cursed life. Don’t go anywhere. Y/N, don’t fall asleep.” Mobius left, affectionally tapping you on the shoulder. You swatted him right away.

Loki rushed over to you, prodding you on the back.

“Midgardian sweetheart. I stole his thing. Quickly! Get up! Now!” “Huh?” You opened your eyes, and Loki had the time twister in his hands. “Holy crap!” “I promised you I would get you out of here. We’ll go straight to the tesseract. Quickly!” He re-winded the thing a few times, finding himself in various different positions.

You stayed stationery.

“Hold on to me.” “Why?” “Just do it!” You held onto his shoulder, and found yourself transported back to the orange reception area, which was even emptier than it had been before. You laughed manically, it was like some high-paced action movie with an overloaded CGI budget. And you were the main character.

“We’re going to get in so much trouble.” “Not if they don’t catch us.” “The reception guy took it.” Loki looked around feverishly, and pointed in success. “There he is!” Loki paused. “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? RUNN!!!!!” Loki practically sprinted over to the passive-looking clerk, who was heading back to a small cubicle. You quickly followed behind, even though the notion of running almost made your tired body collapse.

Loki shoved the man under a desk, and you joined, appalled at the thought he was created by the Time Keepers. How do you just create a living person? “Hey, I know you! You’re the criminal with the blue box. And you’re his girlfriend!” You gawked, un-able to stop yourself from going a little red. “I am NOT his girlfriend. He’s a sicko.”

“What’s your name?” “Casey!” “Give me the tesseract or I’ll gut you like a FISH Casey!”

“What’s a fish!?” You had to a double take to this. “How do you not know what a fish is?” “I’ve lived my whole life behind a desk.” “That’s messed up, man. These people are prisoners.” “You’re being threatened with violent, painful death!” “Ok, ok. I comply. Jeez.”  Casey opened a drawer, and Loki gratefully lifted the tesseract out, mesmired by its blue glow.

But even though he extended it in his hands like how they held up Simba in the lion king, it didn’t transport him.

Or you.

You both stared at each other, and then you threw up your arms, utterly spent. “It’s over. We’re stuck here. We’re not going back. Mobius was right.” Loki looked down, noticing something in the drawer. You looked. Large, multi-coloured glowing stones. Pretty. “What? Infinity stones?” “An infinity huh what?” Loki picked a green one in a trance, and you watched in fascination.

“Y/N, this is supposed to be the most powerful object in the entire universe.” “You what? What’s it doing in a drawer!?”

“Oh, yeah. We get a lot of those. Some of the guys use them as paperweights. Some of them.”

Loki stood up and you watched, with the tesseract in his hands. He seemed to study the TVA, the workers, the weird architecture, the blank sterile state, and after a second, you joined him. The God and the lonely avenger standing side by side. “Is this the greatest power in the universe?” “Yep.” Casey smiled.

“Woah. Cool. I almost didn’t get to see it.” You said that in awe. “Scary. Terrifying.” “We’re insignificant in the grand scheme of things.” You whispered, watching the workers complete their tasks, the analysts doing God knows what to the sacred timeline with God knows who. “I’m not.” “Uh-huh. You have been dwarfed.”

You smiled at Loki. But this time it was a real, genuine smile. Not full of hate or anger.

He actually placed a hand on your shoulder, smiling back. “My darling Midgardian snark, at least we’re stuck in the most powerful place in the universe.” “That’s so awesome.” An elevator dinged behind you, with B-15 stepping out. You put your arms in the air for surrender, but Loki wasn’t having that, clasping onto your arm.

“Hey!” He used the time-twister immediately and you were both transported back to the time theatre.

It was empty. Where was Mobius?

He trudged back to the table, and you joined, slumping in your seat. The holographic image was still on poor dead Frigga. You stared at it for a long time. “Hey. I’m sorry about your mother. I truly am. She seemed nice.” “She really loved me.” “And I do not doubt it. My mom too.” “I know. We’ll never see them again.”

“Sucks. I just wish I could have said goodbye.”

Eventually you knew that Mobius would probably come back and yell at you because it would somehow be your fault, but for now you were allowed a moment to simply breath.

You and Loki both glanced at each other, and even though he was still the vile, violent, sociopathic murderer, it just wasn’t your style to be so mad and poisoned. You had the kindest variants, as they had said.

“Hey. I’m sorry for back before ticket processing. I shouldn’t have screamed at you like that. You had no idea we would end up in this place. It was not your fault.” “You’re right, Y/N. I couldn’t have known. You should have thought that out earlier.” “Sorry, Loki. Truly.” He sighed, shaking his long black hair.

“Now I feel bad for a silly mortal. I’m sorry, too. You didn’t deserve this, snark. I either kill someone or let them be. Not whatever this is. I just felt so angry. Deep down. In my soul.”

“It’s totally fine. I get that you’re a piece of shit. But I am, too. I’m enraged about New York. Cause my mom lives there. And my friends. But not mad about this.” “I just want to strangle these damn time keepers.” You smiled sadly. “Good luck with that. I bet they’re seven meters tall. And they know everything. They probably saw when I first used the toilet. They saw when I wet the bed. Hey. They would make sure FDR grew up properly.”

He fiddled with the orange monitor, and more footage rolled. Loki was with an elderly man, and his Norse brother Thor. “I love you my sons. Remember this place. Home.” “Aww. That’s Odin then? He loves you deep down.” “He doesn’t.” “I thought the world of you Loki. I thought we were going to fight side by ide forever.”

“Aww. Thor loves you too. You might have gone wrong, but of course he loves his brother.”

“Stop analysing me, Y/N. You don’t know me.” But the Asgardian’s eyes were swimming. “You’re not as bad after all, brother.” “Maybe not.” “If you were here I might even give you a hug.” “I’m here.” You smiled, feeling a little bit teary-eyed at the ‘future nostalgia’. This future Loki looked happier and healthy, free of sin.

Then, the ending footage.     

“I herby pledge to you, my un-dying fidelity.” Loki thrust his arm forward, trying to stab a large, purple-coloured humanoid thing. “Un-dying, eh? You should choose your words more carefully.” “Who’s that? What is that?” Loki besides you was frowning, looking frightful and upset. You were horrified to see Loki slowly being choked, his eyes bulging right out of their sockets.

“You.. Will… Never… be. A….. God.”

Wide-eyed, you watched Loki’s neck being snapped, the sound was so gruesome and left nothing to imagination. “Oh, no! You died!” His body was flung away, cast aside like it was nothing. Loki gasped and looked away, and there was sounds of something about to blow up, the world was ending as Thor cried over Loki’s dead corpse.

“You died bitch. You tried to stab that thing, with a knife? A true dumbass moment. Oh, that was awful. Oh, I’m so sorry. I really am. I am sorry. I’m sorry you had to see that. Mobius probably didn’t want you to see that. And you seemed happy. You didn’t deserve that.”

He started laughing, it was a hysterical, delirious laugh. “Glorious purpose.” “Sorry. Don’t worry. I probably died too.” The door swung open behind you, it was B-15, back at it again. You sat entirely slumped, and she gave you a sharp look. “Hey. We thought you were alright. You tried to escape with him.”

“Sorry. I just wanted to go home. I’m not trying anything anymore. And I wasn’t trying to help him. I don’t want any trouble. I give up.” “I believe it. I understand.” “Do you know Mobius?” “You there, on the other hand.” Loki stood up and B-15 swung her baton, but Loki caught it, wrenching it right out of her grasp.

He picked up the time-turner as she pinned him against the table, releasing his collar, and your one too. He managed to twist her hands with his Asgardian strength, using her force against her. And as she trashed, he locked his collar around her neck with no mercy. He used the twister to send her back into position, near the entrance of the room.

“Loki. Stop. She was just doing her job.” “She was trying to kill us!” He re-wound time again. And again. And again. “Stop it- Sto- Stop- it.” You grimaced, watching the awful time-rewind situation play out, you could see Loki was releasing some of his boiled anger and hatred. “Loki! Stop!” She blurred so much she became nothing, and then she was finally kicked from the server, transported away, with Loki giving no shits in the world.

“Loki. That was mean. And it must have hurt.”

“Thanks for helping me, Y/N.”

“You handled it fine on your own. I’m tired.” He threw the twister and you caught it, he walked off, sitting down. Maybe he had the right to rage and be sad. The thing had finished with; ‘End of File.’ If that wasn’t a complete kick in the gut for someone, then you didn’t know what was.

Mobius M Mobius entered then, observing your exhausted stance and Loki’s depression.

“Nowhere left to run. Y/N, you can get some rest soon.”

“In this hell hole?”

“We have room for you.”

“Ok.”

“And food. You’re hungry. And a drink of water.” “Cool.” “Can I?” “What now?” “I’m supposed to show you your file.” You chortled out loud. With a poison. “So I too can see my violent, painful death? Mobius, show me my violent painful death. Do I have my neck sliced or something? How do I die? I bet it's gnarly.” “Y/N. Please.” You remained silent for a second, not wanting to talk to Mobius or Loki or B-15 or Casey or anyone else in this stinking hellish place.

You knew you would have to.

This was home now.

But you had your mom.

And even though it made no sense, you thought about your mom.

When you weren’t in the Avengers tower you lived with her, and she would always make your bed for you, in exchange for you cooking her favourite meal or doing the dishes. She would always arrange the pillows in a way you didn’t like, and when you told her she would be like ‘Ok, don’t worry, I’ll fix it babe’, but then she never did.

And you would always watch cheesy romance movies together.

And it was tradition for Steve to take you out for dinner on Fridays, whether it just be fucking McDonalds or at a restaurant or eating pizza in some forgotten pizza place that never had any customers. And Tony would. Tony. Tony Stark. Tony would always give you a platonic forehead kiss, or wrap his arms around your shoulder, or comfort you with a high five, because he had a soft sport for you and couldn’t deny hat.

Even though you had the appearance of someone shy or timid or sweet, you would listen to ACDC or led zeppelin or Nirvana or whoever it was with him, you loved his music taste, the guitar thrashing and the screaming. It was all gone now. All of it.

“Y/N.” Mobius said. “Whatya want from me Mobius? You guys stole me from my life just because Loki over there grabbed onto my arm with the blue box. I didn’t do anything drastic to change time. I didn’t shoot someone in the head or become a villain or drop a bomb or time travel to kill a US president. I’ll do whatever you want. What is it? I’ve tried my best and now here I am. I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Just whatever.”

“I’ve seen the things in your file.” You faltered there for a second. “Look, ok. Don’t judge me. I confess. But please don’t.”

“I want to help you with what you went through. And don’t you deny it and say that was someone else girl, because that was you.”

He came over and punched a few things into the monitor, and you knew your life would play, in all it’s glory. “Can I please see how I die?” “No. You’re not killed by the purple thing. You live a long enough life. You meet a few people. You’re ok.” He let the footage show you in the bathroom, at home, as a young girl.

You knew what this was immediately. Your worst moment. Mobius had gunned straight for that.

“Y/N. I just couldn’t believe you had done this to yourself. I saw it and I thought, no. No. I couldn’t.”

“Stop it. Piss off. Shut it off. Skip this. This is nothing. Fuck off.”

You saw yourself use your telekinesis to hurl a knife around in the bathroom, it was an angry, desperate thing to watch. That was, that had been the worst day of your life. Your best-friend had started a fight with you, in tenth grade, about some silly little thing that would mean literally nothing just a few weeks later.

You had gotten back bad results in a test you had really wanted to ace.

You hadn’t fell well enough to even eat lunch, it was disgusting US school lunch anyway.

Your dad was in the picture, but that only meant pain and a telling off and the sentence: ‘I wish I had a different daughter’.

Your mom.

Mom.

She hadn’t been there to comfort you. After school. She had to work extra late, so at home, there had been no one. Who else was there? No one else. Just pain and loneliness and how you had felt cursed and that had been before the Avengers was even a mere concept. Before Tony had even become Ironman. Before the heroes and the villains to fight off.

“Mobius! Stop! Please!”

You watched the knife soar into your hand, and you, not too deeply, but still anyway, sliced it against your young wrist, the notion awful and upsetting and hard to stomach. The younger you cried, and wept, had a breakdown, at a breaking point, blood ran red out of your flesh and onto the bathroom floor for all the troubles you had experienced.

You hadn’t rembered feeling that bad.

The fact it was so bad you had made yourself forget how bad it had been.

You quickly healed yourself with your power, so the cuts went away instantly, but after five minutes of sobbing you saw yourself give in again, slashing at your skin again, and again, and again. What a proper nightmare. You wept yourself, watching it happen, you had suppressed the memory, a silly little thing like self-harming, but now here it was, and it was just truly awful.

You heaved a shuddering sigh.

Tears flowed onto your face in the present, you had no words.

No words at all.

You leant over and cried for your younger self who had experienced such a horrible, un-deserved time, and you heard a sound like Mobius stopping himself from crying, it wasn’t too graphic or anything, not to gory, but it was still nasty, just for how young you had been, to already have thoughts like that.

You had a headache.

But not inside your head, inside your heart.

And it had been so very painful.

The thirteen year old you passed out, in a pool of red blood.

You watched as the wounds of your younger self began to heal without you using your power, sometimes your body just did it for you.

Mobius placed a hand over yours, but you yanked it away, feeling utterly enraged.

“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME THAT!? HAS THIS WHOLE THING BEEN A CON!? OK I SELF HARMED SO WHAT?! I FELT ALONE AND UNLOVED AND NO ONE GAVE A CRAP MOBIUS! NOBODY GAVE A SINGLE SHIT ABOUT ME, I COULD HAVE DIED, HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL IN THE TVA!? HAVE YOU ONLY BEEN OH SO NICE TO ME, POOR YOUNG Y/N, BECAUSE YOU KNEW I HAD DONE THAT!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? I TRIED MY BEST ALRIGHT!? I TRIED MY BEST AND THERE WAS NOTHING BUT PAIN, AND PAIN, AND MORE PAIN! I’M SORRY. I. I. I. You should have told me. God. What the hell? I’ve had a hard day and now this? I’m sorry, ok?”

You trembled, and it was true your angsty yourself self had self-harmed, not because you just felt alone or un-loved. Not just because you simply felt like that in your mind. But because you truly were actually alone and unloved, no thoughts, just the pure, plain, actual truth. There had been no one that loved you. Still there wasn’t. Never would.

Mobius was almost in tears. It was not a good look.

You refused to even glance Loki’s way.

Mobius wasn’t often emotional, but knowing someone as kind, as a nice as you, had done that to themselves at only thirteen, just as a young girl, basically still a child, well, that didn’t exactly sit right. What he had cried at before through the time files? Literally nothing. Well, he was almost crying now. That was someone’s daughter. Someone’s friend. Someone’s child. Someone’s something.

Just a young girl.

Because you were young in that footage. Thirteen is nothing. And there you were. Almost dead. And no one knew. You shook your head at the utter silence in the room, it was so silent except for the loud sobbing of Mobius, who had to cover his eyes for a second, he was just that emotional and shaken up. Went he went through people’s files it was usually drastic changes they had made, or not doing that important thing they had done, or somehow not being where they were supposed to be. But not this. Not to see this. Not to be so un-prepared to see this.

 “Sorry. Seriously. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to myself. I am truly sorry Mobius. I survived, alright? I admitted it to my mom and we got help and now I’m? I’m happy. Yeah! I have Steve and Tony and Nat and- Phil. Well. I did have them. I don’t even have them anymore. But it’s ok.”

it took a while for Mobius to stop sobbing, he had to comb through your file before, and look what he had found, without any warning.

He pulled you back into your seat, and clasped onto your hands, you could still feel the sobs racking throughout his body, his silver white hair and the moustache. “I just couldn’t prune you. Not here. Not like this. Not after you survived that.” You looked at the footage, it was still stuck on your unconscious bleeding form.

Still, more tears flowed.

Dear God.

I’m sorry to my younger self, but I’m ok now. And I have-

A reason to live.

Yeah.

“I’m sorry. You just went straight for my worst moment, and it stung. You shouldn’t do that to people when you question them. I had almost forgotten about it. I self harmed, alright? I was all alone and had no one to turn to- And when I looked so carefully for a reason NOT to do it-“ You took a long pause, extending your hand towards something or nothing. “There was nothing there. No reason. So I did it. I’m sorry. Still am.” “Even Ravonna cried watching this footage.” “That’s an invasion of my privacy. That’s gross.” You tried to joke, even though you were still near tears.

“Ok. You got me. I self-harmed. I’m pathetic and messed up. And I struggled with depression and wanting to die. Still do sometimes. I admit that. It was before the Avengers and before Phil, and so I didn’t really have much to hold onto. It was upsetting you had to show me that. And I’m, I’m sorry you had to see it.” Mobius looked so deeply at you, and you glanced away, but then you let him gently take your hand.

“Y/N, you have to believe that I’m not going to hurt or kill you after what I’ve seen you go through. I have to guess you felt angry, and alone, and devasted, and it’s a miracle you’re so kind and heroic even after that. You have to trust me that everything is going to be alright in the TVA, we have a place for you here. Can you do that? Can you trust me?”

“Yes. I am so sorry I snapped at you. I’m not exactly at my best right now. In my heart. I’m sick in my heart.”

Mobius just stared at you for a few minutes, with honest to God, the look someone has when they purposefully stop themselves from crying.  

Your arm was face down on the table, resting. Mobius gently touched your arm and you didn’t flinch so he tenderly turned it over, inspecting, grazing his thumb across your un-hurt, healed wrist. He went silent for a bit, just gently holding onto that point of your arm. In an alternate universe you realized just how good of a kind, caring father he would be.

“My gorgeous, beautiful girl. You don’t have the scars.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Ok.” “Ok.”

“Ok. I’ll play you some more. I’ll play you something happier.”

He played more time footage and you saw yourself using your fire power to create a bonfire, during a camping trip. It had been with your friends, you had been around fifteen. You didn’t exactly want your friends to know you had powers, so in that one moment you had been all alone when they had been setting up the tent. When they got back they had marvelled at your fire-making skills, not at the power they didn’t know you had.

You had laughed and made smores.

You also watched yourself hug Phil Coulson, the two of you had this weird, zingy connection, even though he was gotta-make-this-right-protect-the-world-do-my-job-SHIELD-agent, the two of you had bonded easily, especially over the Avengers, over the heroes. Phil hugged you closely, in the moment you smiled and hung your head, and he said ‘I’m proud of you, kiddo. So proud.’

With a painful pang you realized he would never get to have kids of his own.

Then you were with someone you didn’t recognise, a tall, thin man with a red cloak and blue robes, who had a handsome, chiselled face. His cloak seemed to be floating, although that couldn’t be possible. “Who’s that?” “Doctor Stephen Strange.” “Doctor what?” You were very shocked to see yourself lean forward and give the doctor a quick kiss, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, his hands were shaking. You rested your head into the crook of his neck, it seemed like the two of you were standing in front of this huge staircase.

“Is that my future boyfriend?! He’s cute.” “Master of the mystic arts.” “Magic? Cool!” Then you saw yourself with a guy who had a metal arm, and long brown hair, and those sharp, sharp eyes. You held onto his metal arm gently, and he flexed his metal fingers, looking pained. You said: “Don’t blame yourself, Buck. It wasn’t your fault.”

Mobius stopped the footage there, you had much more of your life actually, it was just too long to show.

“Who’s that?” “James Bucky Barnes.” “Steve’s World War Two friend!? But I thought he died!!” “He survived. After the fall he got captured by HYDRA and made into a super solider. But a bad one. A winter solider. Eventually he broke free of HYDRA’S mind control and become an Avenger.” “Woah. That’s cool. Wait, did you say he was mind controlled?”

“So, Y/N. You were supposed to live out your life as an Avenger. You have a relationship with these two people. Bucky Barnes and Stephen strange. You befriend other heroes. Etc. You befriend some future Avengers like Spiderman, Scarlet Witch, even Moon Knight.” You felt deflated, but also kinda relived.

“Ok. it seems like I didn’t miss too much in my timeline future. It’s ok. So I’m not that pissed about being here.”

“Do you want to talk about, your hard times?”

You paused, and Mobius continued to look at you deeply, it made you feel uncomfortable that he probably knew every single little detail about your life. He still had a comforting hand on your arm, trying to make you feel better. You had the impulsive action of turning your arm face-down, but he turned it over again, looking down at your wrist with sadness and a searching guilt. Like it was somehow his fault.

You kept putting your arm down, but he kept turning it over, his fingers gently searching your skin.

“No. Not yet. Again. I’m sorry. I’m not strong enough.” “Ok. I’m really thankful you survived. And after that you achieved some amazing things, yeah?” Loki was staring at you, absolutely fucking horrified. He had seen some truly sickening things, but that was something else. His facial features were downturned in a look of pure horror and worry, none of the anger or poison. Even he was appalled.

And oh of course, hadn’t he struggled with those feelings himself?

When he first realized Thor was better than him. Blood and pain.

When he first realized he was never going to please his father. Blood and pain.

When he first realized that no one noticed him, that he was just some nothing. Blood and pain.

When he first realized he was a frost giant. Blood and pain.

When he had tried and failed so hard to; 1, claim the throne, 2, receive the affection he so craved, 3, be noticed and cared for, 4, loved by someone other than only his mother Frigga, 5, up-root Thor for at least one tiny moment, 6, have a place on Asgard and simply just EXIST for any reason at all, then have his world crushed, shone outlit by Thor, have his father say ‘No, Loki’, and fallen off the Bifrost brdige..... Blood and pain.

You glanced back at him.

“What? Are you going to snark at me again now? Really?”

“Y/N. I don’t even know what to say. Where to begin.”

“It’s fine. I even don’t want to hear it.”

“How could I have screamed at you knowing you did that to yourself? You make me feel awful.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry.” Mobius was still searching you, softly squeezing at your hand. You made a  cruel joke. The cruellest joke you had ever joked. “I can’t imagine how bad you would feel if I died in this place.” A look of something dark crossed against his face. “Y/N. That’s really not funny. I really do feel like I need to keep a watch on you. I'm greatly concerned about you. Especially after the New York battle you just witnessed. I’m going to have Miss minutes keep an eye on you.”

“Minutes miss what???”

Mobius just continued to stare into your soul, just this great concern and worry and you were reminded of in the Avengers tower, if Clint or whoever talked bad about themselves everyone else in the team would be like ‘No, you fucking don’t bitch! We’re going to cheer you the fuck up!’ But now rather than being funny, it was just sad.

Eventually you cracked and shrugged your shoulders, because it looked like he was going to start crying again.

“Mobius, I swear to God I won’t even do anything at all. How could I? You seem like a great person and I don’t want to upset you. I can understand how barley shaken up you are… And that was ages ok when I was, you know, angsty teen. Everyone is pained at thirteen, you wouldn’t get it. I’m genuinely sorry. This place seems kinda cool. I want to know more about it. I don’t want to die. Phil would be pissed at me in the afterlife. He would be like ‘bitch, you were supposed to live-“

You trailed off.

Mobius covered his face to stop himself from crying again, but then he steeled his emotions.

“So, you two. Do you agree to help ol agent Mobius at the TVA?” “With that?” “A rogue variant has been hunting down and killing our minutemen.” “And you want the fearsome God of mischief to help with that? And that poor tortured Midgardian girl? Why?” “Because the variant is you, Loki. And I think Y/N might be key in cracking the variant’s soul.”

Your eyes went wide with surprise….

[iamanartichoke]

Another totally unprompted ask, on the assumption that you are definitely no longer in need of them… another thing I’m trying to work out about Loki characterisation in preparation for perpetrating fic torture on him is how suicidal the poor sod is most of the time. This is another thing I’ve seen referred to a lot but only in passing. Though obviously this is a pretty triggery topic, so ignore if you want.

I am always in need of totally unprompted asks, otherwise I just assume no one wants to talk to me lmao

So, hoo boy. I have been mulling over this for, apparently, three days now bc there's just ... there's a lot to unpack here. Putting under a cut for obviously triggery content and also for length bc fml.

In my opinion, the response to "how suicidal is Loki most of the time" is "very, but whether or not he wants to do anything about it varies from moment to moment" (see what I did there? I'll see myself out). In other words, I have always had a headcanon that Loki is consistently, passively suicidal. This is a headcanon that comes straight from TDW, bc I'm certain that Loki never had any intention of surviving their mission. And that could be a whole other post, really, but the point is that even though this is a TDW-centric headcanon, I have come to adopt it as applying to Loki in general as well, not just in those specific circumstances.

When I say passively suicidal, I mean that Loki is just sort of ambivalent about the value of his own life. He feels like he doesn't deserve to be alive, and feels like there's little point in being alive. Which - I don't mean to sound all gloom and doom, like, poor uwu emo Loki (and I kinda hate that I have to pause to disclaim that, no, I don't just have a fixation on Loki being depressed for funsies/the aesthetic/whatever); I think that this mindset stems from really complicated places that I'm not sure I can articulate, but I will try.

I view Loki as someone who suffers from a severe inferiority complex, and I feel like it stems from being abandoned as an infant. Loki's life started with a traumatic event and, even if he doesn't remember the event itself, the feelings he experienced stayed in his subconscious. Feelings of loss, of fear, of despair and abandonment, of suffering - these are all feelings that burrowed into his bones and lived there for his entire life, feelings that colored how Loki viewed himself as a person as well as how he compared to the people around him.

Keep in mind that Loki didn't know he was abandoned until the events of Thor 1, obviously. We don't really know how old Loki is, in human years, but I have always assumed that he and Thor were at least adults (not teenagers), maybe the equivalent of early twenties - and the reason I bring that up is because it means Loki made it all the way to adulthood carrying the weight of a trauma that he did not remember or even knew had happened, so to him, there was no real reason for how wrong he felt. There was no explanation for the feelings of loss, of neglect, of fear. So on top of struggling with those feelings, Loki was also burdened with the alienation that comes with wondering why one can't just be like everyone else, why one can't just "snap out" of depression, why one's sense of self-worth has always been lacking.

So imagine what it's like to grow up as Loki. He was traumatized as an infant. The trauma has been with him his entire life, along with the confusion/alienation of not understanding why he feels the way that he does, and then on top of that, his basic personality lends itself toward introspection and isolation, so he likely felt even further removed from Thor and from his peers. Loki's too smart for his own good, and he's got an enormous capacity to feel and I feel like this is a combination that works against him as much as it does for him, bc it probably means he spent a lot of time examining himself and identifying all of his perceived flaws - and then berating himself for said flaws.

People with depression are probably pretty familiar with the bully that lives in your head, the one who is always there to remind you that you're stupid, or ugly, or that nobody likes you, or that you have nothing of value to contribute to anyone, etc. Loki's no different; he's got that bully in his head, too. Add onto this the fact that his brother is literally perfect, that he feels his father doesn't love him (or love him as much), that his interests in things like magic are looked down on in his culture, and that he's a prince (meaning that along with the privilege comes pressure, and being in the public eye, knowing that everyone around him is comparing him to Thor as much as he compares himself to Thor, well.) and you have a total clusterfuck of a mindset, and Loki's been existing inside of that clusterfuck for nearly all of his life.

I always go back to the quote where, when filming I think the vault scene, Kenneth Branagh directs Tom by saying, "This is the moment where the thin steel rod holding your brain together snaps." And it's such a significant moment for Loki bc this is where it all crumbles for him, learning the truth, but I also fixate on the "thin steel rod" part of the quote bc that's not how one would describe a healthy, stable person's mind. The implication, to me, has always been that Loki wasn't that stable to start with due to his general upbringing, his internal struggles, and his personality, so of course the devastation of learning he's adopted, and Jotun, would send him over the edge. One doesn't go from zero to 60; one doesn't fall over the edge unless they were balancing fairly close to it in the first place. And to me, the "thin steel rod" basically equals the aforementioned clusterfuck of a mindset.

THE POINT IS. (Holy shit, I ramble.) This is the foundation on which I'm basing my headcanon that Loki neither values his life nor feels as if he even deserves to live it - bc his default mindset is one of inferiority, of loss, of pain. And I think that going from being a general unstable person pre-canon to being passively suicidal post-canon is a thing that happened because, somewhere between the vault in Thor 1 and the dungeons in TDW, Loki just stopped caring.

Life is exhausting for everyone, but even moreso when your mental load becomes more than you can carry. Loki is exhausted. His experience is that things just keep getting worse and worse for him - he's never been valued, he's always been found wanting. He discovers that he was literally thrown away as an infant, unwanted and left to die, and things haven't gotten much better for him since then. Everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. His plans spin out of control. He's unable to prove his worth and his value and when he is, in fact, rejected, he literally tries to kill himself (only to survive and end up in an even worse situation).

It all just continually goes downhill, and Loki is fucking exhausted. He's done. He has no hope that anything is ever going to change - he will never be valued or even seen, he's unable to connect to anyone, he has no family (aside from Thor, but their relationship is so fraught with pain). As far as he's concerned, his life has been nothing but a waste since he was born and if no one else values it, why should he?

So - passively suicidal. He places no value on his life, and doesn't shy away from situations that could cost him his life. It's possible that the only reason he's not actively suicidal is bc his previous attempt not only failed but led to such a horrible situation that he's probably too afraid to intentionally seek out death again. He doesn't want to fail and end up worse off for it.

And - not that you asked this in particular, but - my biggest disappointment in the series is that none of what I've just written is addressed in a satisfying way (to me). That is, we don't get any real explicit acknowledgement of the trauma of Loki's abandonment as a baby or how that affected his mental health growing up; we don't get to explore how devastated he was to learn of his adoption; we don't ever see him reconcile his ingrained belief that jotuns are monstrous savages with the fact that he is jotun. He says "I betrayed everyone I loved, but I'm different now" and we're supposed to infer what he means without Loki actually articulating why he feels that he's the only one who should be held responsible for all these things that had happened or what "I've changed" even means to him (aside from not betraying Sylvie).

I would have liked to see these things addressed for a lot of reasons, but one of those reasons is that I would want to see how Loki comes to terms with all of his issues and his pain enough that he stops being passively suicidal. We never get to see that; after TDW, the time that passes allows for Loki to kinda chill, resulting in the Ragnarok version, but if there was any real healing or recovering going on, it was happening off-screen, with the audience expected to just go with "yeah Loki was going through it for awhile but he's kinda better now."

Furthermore, much of what I've written here is based on prime Loki's development through TDW, but doesn't account for series Loki's split from that timeline nor the theme of "Lokis survive" that's so prevalent in the series. So I don't think the "passively suicidal" headcanon is really appropriate for series Loki but, at the same time, I'd like to have seen why. I'd like to have seen Loki learning to value his life, or where the "we survive" mindset comes from, since that's not really been a thing before now. (Out of universe, I suspect it comes from the context of Loki just not dying whenever he tries to, but since TDW and IW haven't happened, and Loki didn't intend to survive his fall from the bifrost, framing Loki as an innate survivor doesn't really make sense, but to be fair, I'm just being picky.)

So, yeah. I'm not saying Loki doesn't experience growth or development in the series, I'm just saying that his arc left much unsaid and, furthermore, framing his growth as "wanting a throne to not wanting a throne" without addressing that Loki doesn't actually want the power of the throne, he wants the value and self-worth he associates with the throne, is - well, again, unsatisfying. Not bad, but it leaves viewers like me wanting bc we're cognizant of how much more could have been done.

I ... am going to end this now. This is probably nonsensical and all over the place, so I'm very sorry, and I'm sure this is why I don't get meta-starter asks lmfao bc no one's out here trying to read my dissertation submission for a Ph.D in Loki, but well, sometimes it just be like that.

Thank you for the ask and the opportunity to ramble.

[miss-smutty]

A/N - I've literally been gone for months 😱😭 I've been so busy with my business I lost my writing mojo again. I'm sorry @swaggysposts you've waited so long for your request but here it is, I hope you like it.

Request- "How about Thor x reader wedding night....Having a wedding in the Avengers Facility with the Avengers.....And Tony letting them use his Malibu home for their wedding night....

The reader is a virgin and nervous about the whole sex thing.....Thor feels her nervousness.... Thor eases her nervousness by playing and dancing around in the Malibu Mansion and they do tequila body shots between each other and they have skinny dipping in the pool And they both get turned on and they have a intimate first time by Thor's sweet gesture 😍😍

Word count- 4,651 (sorry it's so long 🙊)

Warnings- Swearing, smut, unprotected sex

Taglist-: @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap

Posted: 29th April 2021

18+ only!!

Blushing Bride

"3… 2… 1!" Everyone in the room shouted gleefully.  You reached down and threw your beautiful sunflower bouquet back into the crowd. Turning around to watch where it lands, smiling from ear to ear as you watch your girlfriends scramble to catch the falling flowers.

Nat clambers over people unapologetically, elbowing your cousin in the face as she reaches into the air and catches the bouquet with one hand. There's cheers as she arrogantly side-eyes the other girls shamelessly, you notice as she catches Bucky's eye from across the room, confirming the suspicions you've had for a while. Hopefully you'll get chance to question her about that later on.

You scan the room until your eyes lay on the person you were looking for - your handsome husband.

Thor can't take his eyes off of you, his beautiful bride, you blush under his stare and laugh when you realise the cliche of now being his beautiful blushing bride.

You've never seen him in a suit before and he looks completely ravishing, his broad frame filling out the navy blue, fitted suit, impeccably. He's talking to Tony and Pepper and by the way they all keep looking over at you, you realise you're the subject of their conversation.

"So, you're finally Queen Odinson" Tony greets you as you make your way over to join them, hitching up the long train of your dress. You feel like a queen in your exquisite wedding gown, the way it drapes on your curves perfectly. It's a little difficult to walk in especially with how clumsy you are but it makes you feel amazing.

"Wow, it feels so strange when you say that." You smile widely, reaching up on your tiptoes to kiss Thor's cheek.

"You've always been my Queen." His grin is equally as wide as yours as he wraps his arm around you, gazing down at you proudly.

"Don't mind us" Tony says sarcastically, rolling his eyes and then laughing when Pepper playfully hits his arm.

"Oh don't worry, we won't. I've been waiting for this day since… Forever" 

"I know, Thor what took you so long?" Tony jokes.

"I have wanted to make Y/N my Queen since the first moment I set eyes on her" Thor says seriously, Tony's rhetorical joke going straight over his head. 

"Yeah, we get it Point Break. Now I have a wedding gift for you both." 

"Ohh yes, you're going to love it" Pepper adds excitedly, clapping her hands together enthusiastically.

"We want to invite you to spend your honeymoon in our Malibu mansion, so what d'ya think?" Tony asks.

"Oh my god! No way! We'd love to." You exclaim, looking at Thor for his approval and squeeling excitedly when he nods in agreement.

"Good, now you better go mingle. I can see your mom shooting me daggers for hogging you both for too long" he smiled warmly. You reach up to kiss his cheek and wrap your arms around pepper tightly.

"Thank you so much you two, you're the best" you say excitedly.

"Yes we are and don't forget it" Tony laughs.

Thor takes your hand in his and leads you to the dancefloor to join your friends. As he wraps his arms around your waist he leans down to whisper in your ear.

"You look radiant, my love. I can't wait until we're alone" He says sincerely.

You feel a tightness in your throat at his words and quickly try to swallow it away, gulping nervously. You were a virgin and the thought of Thor having literally hundreds of years more experience than you, terrifies the life out of you. 

"Your brother looks like he's having a good time" you say sarcastically, changing the subject strategically when you spot Loki over Thor's shoulder. Of course he didn't look happy at all, stood in the corner on his own with a face like thunder.

Thor spins you around so he can see for himself, a smile tickling the corner of his mouth when he realises you were joking.

"You know Loki, he can't stand anybody else being happy. Especially me. This must be torture for him" He laughs, the smile on his face crinkling the corners of his eyes as he gazes down at you. Your own cheeks aching from the smile that hasn't left your face for the whole day.

"Are you sad that the rest of your family and friends aren't here?" You ask, resting your head on his chest and feeling his heart beating.

"Of course not, my love. We will see them soon." he smooths his hand down the back of your head.

Thor had promised to give you your perfect wedding, everything you'd ever dreamed of and then later you would go to Asgard and have a traditional Asgardian ceremony too. The thought of it made you extremely nervous, you had no idea what to expect but imagined you would be surrounded by beautiful Gods and Goddesses and the idea of it made your stomach sink.

You danced the night away with your friends and Thor until your feet could no longer hold you up and you collapsed, exhausted into Thor's arms.

"I think it's time to get you home, my love" Thor whispers into your ear.

"I don't want it to end yet" you whine, clasping your hand to your mouth to stifle a yawn. The tiredness suddenly washing over you all at once.

"Don't worry, the night has only just begun" Thor said his eyes glistening with excitement. Butterflies flutter in your stomach with anticipation, nerves and excitement mixing together until you didn't quite know which was the most dominant feeling. 

                        *********************

You can't contain your excitement as you finally see  Tony's mansion set upon the cliffside, over-looking Malibu beach. The futuristic looking building with the glass walls is absolutely breathtaking, definitely everything you imagined Tony's house to be.

As you step inside the house the first thing you notice is how open and clean everything is. The glass wall runs the entire length of the room, it's like you could practically walk out into the sea.

"Welcome to your honeymoon home, Mr and Mrs Odinson. I am J.A.R.V.I.S and I am here to assist you with anything you may need during your stay." J.A.R.V.I.S says through the integrated speakers. 

"Oh my god!" You squeel.

"Who said that?" Thor asks looking around the room, confused. The look on his face is comedic but you stop yourself from laughing to save Thor from embarrassment.

"It's J.A.R.V.I.S" You answer shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly.

"But who is Jarvis? Are we not alone?" Thor asks, eyes wide, still scanning the room for an unseen person.

You giggle at Thors innocence. "I think it's one of Tony's intelligent system thingies, am I right J.A.R.V.I.S?" You laugh when Thor looks at you like you're mad.

"You are right Mrs Odinson, I am Just A Rather Very Intelligent System but you may call me J.A.R.V.I.S. Is there anything else I can help you with?" 

"Not right now, thank you J.A.R.V.I.S" 

"I don't like the thought of somebody watching us, especially on our wedding night" Thor gets that glint in his eyes again.

"He's a computer babe, I think we're safe." You chuckle light heartedly, gliding along the smooth marble floor to stand in front of the enormous window.

"Wow! I bet that view is beautiful in the daylight." You say, changing the subject. 

"Not even half as beautiful as you" Thor says as he comes up behind you and pushes your hair to one side so he can press his lips softly to your neck. Your hairs stand on end as he sends shivers through your entire body. You feel electrically charged by his touch, your body tingling with energy.

Thor feels your body go ridgid against him, he can sense your nervousness and does his best to calm you.

"Are you ok, my love?" He whispers softly as he strokes the goosebumps that have appeared on your arms.

You turn around to face him, placing your hands on his chest to reassure him but avoiding those piercing blue eyes.

"I'm ok." You lie.

"You are not ok, please tell me your worries" he lifts your face to look at him and you cave when you see that gentle, pressing look on his face.

"Fine." You sigh "This is my first time, but you… You've been with hundreds. No, probably thousands of women. How could I not be worried?"

"They will never compare to you" He smiles genuinely. You're not going to lie, the thought of him with even one other woman makes you feel slightly sick.

"You don't know that." Looking away again, unable to concentrate when you look into his deep blue eyes.

You didn't want to believe that he was being sincere, how could he be? Thousands of women, there's absolutely no way you could even slightly compare. Thinking about it was making you even more nervous, you had experience with other sexual things but you were still a virgin. Growing up with religious parents that had drilled it into you that you mustn't have sex until you were married. You knew it was possibly all bullshit, just another thing made up to control women but still there's always a chance it wasn't and you didn't want to take the risk of spending your afterlife in hell. So you'd been a good little girl and restrained yourself through the absolute torment of college and the multiple boyfriend's who had never been able to last longer than a couple of months before they dumped you or cheated on you. Then you met Thor, he was different to anyone you'd ever met and not just the fact he was an actual god - but he was a gentleman.

"I do because I have never loved anyone the way I love you." You look up at him slowly, smiling shyly when you catch his eye. The things he said definitely helped ease your mind a little.

"Just don't worry about it, ok my love? We'll take things slow." He adds, kissing your forehead.

"Ok… Now can we try and find some alcohol to loosen up a little?" 

"Do you not think you've had enough?" He asks, cocking his head to the side to examine your level of drunkenness.

"I think my nerves have sobered me up." You pout playfully, looking up at him through your lashes.

"Well then what are you waiting for? Let's find this alcohol." He grabs your hand and hurries through the room, dragging you along, laughing behind him. You have to run to keep up to him, his long legs making him much faster than you. 

"Oh my god, Thor. You almost pulled my arm out." You laugh stopping to catch your breath, the house so big that it took a lot longer than expected to make it to the kitchen.

You spied a hamper that had been left on the kitchen counter, behind Thor. A bottle of champagne with two flutes, some bottles of spirits and a huge crate of Thors favourite ale - Peppers idea you guessed.

"Wait! Stop!" Thors tone makes you freeze on the spot, the bottle of champagne ready to be popped in one hand.

"What's wrong?" You say, concerned. Is there a spider? Oh my god. You shake your hair and pat your body in a frantic manner. "Thor what is it?" he was just stood there looking amused.

"Nothing. I just realised this is the first time that I've had you to myself all day. I need a kiss" he moves over to you with his lips pursed in an exaggerated way.

"You idiot, I thought there was a spider" you say, giggling when he grabs hold of you and wraps his arms tightly around your waist. He rubs his rough beard against your cheek playfully, making you giggle and squirm as his bristles tickle your skin. His hands are clasped around your stomach, lifting your feet from the ground, while you try and fail to get away from him and his tickling.

"Thor, stop. I can't breath." You laugh breathlessly. 

Lifting you up effortlessly, he sits you down on the kitchen counter and nestle's himself in-between your legs. Looking at him closely, you realise just how beautiful he is and how lucky you are that he's your husband. 

"What are you thinking?" Thor asks, making you realise you were day dreaming and lost in a trance when Thor spoke.

"I'm not telling you." You tease, closing your mouth tightly.

"You do know now we're married, you have to tell me everything" 

"Everything?" You probe.

"Yes, absolutely everything."

"Fine, I was thinking about how lucky I am to be married to you." You roll your eyes at how soppy you sound, you're not usually one for romantic gestures and Thor knows that. You find it hard to take a compliment and even harder to give one. 

Thor on the other hand, found it completely natural to take and give compliments. He did however have a lifetime to perfect it, so had a slight advantage. 

"I am the lucky one" Looking in your eyes confidently as he speaks, there was definitely no denying the way he felt about you "Now stop rolling your eyes and give me a kiss." 

Thor pulls your face towards him, his lips parting when they connect with yours. The alpha in him taking control of the kiss. You follow his lead heartily, your lips moving together in perfect synchronisation. 

The way you kiss easing your mind a little, your bodies moved together fluently like they were made for each other. The excitement began to rise in you, everything was so effortless when you were together. You know now you were silly to feel worried, that as long as you let your body do the work and don't over-think things, your love for each other will lead the way. Your bodies spoke to each other like old friends, it was just your damn mind that was the problem. Which is why you planned on shutting it up with alcohol, lots of alcohol. 

"Can we go see the pool?" You break away from the kiss too quickly, leaving Thor with his lips still pursed and eyes still closed. The adrenaline was taking over and there was no time to waste.

'Anything for you, my love." He makes his way towards the stairs that lead to the garden.

"Wait, let's take this." You say holding up a bottle of tequila, limes and a couple of shot glasses, then rummaging around the cupboards to find the salt.

"Tony certainly has good taste in liquor, how did he know tequila is my favourite? Or did you have something to do with this?" You ask Thor, the mischievous grin on his face already answering your question.

"Nothing to do with me" he lies, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Are you trying to get me drunk Mr Odinson?" You say sultrily, smiling when you see excitement flashing in his eyes.

"Of course not Mrs Odinson, now come on let's drink." He takes your hand and leads you to the stairs, you have no idea which way to go but Thor's instincts seem to know the way. The house was so big you thought it would be pretty easy to get lost in it, you wonder how many rooms there are? How many bathrooms? You couldn't wait to explore tomorrow but tonight was all about you and your husband.

                              **************

As you turn the corner, the enormous infinity pool comes into view. From where you're standing the pool appears to stretch out into the ocean, you can't wait to see the view of the ocean in the daylight. The pool is illuminated with underwater spotlights and dimly lit, warm solar lights surround the edge of it. 

"Oh my god, this is amazing!" You stand with your mouth agape looking around you while Thor comes up behind you and places his hands on your hips.

"Shall we try it out?" He asks, whispering against your neck and making you shudder in the warm breeze.

"Yes! But first…" You dangle the bottle of tequila in front of Thor.

Thor pulls a couple of sun loungers out, lifting them into the air effortlessly, like he was moving a feather and not two big, heavy, wooden sun loungers. You swoon at the sight of him, his biceps bulging against the tight fabric of his suit. The thought of running your hands all over his naked body making you feel hot and bothered. How could this beautiful man be your husband?

You realised you still had your wedding dress on when you tried to bend to sit down on the low sun lounger. The tight fabric of your dress restraining against you, threatening to tear.

"Thor, will you unzip the back of my dress please? I need to take it off" you ask nonchalantly, stretching your arms behind you and trying to reach the zip. 

"What? Here?" He asks, his mouth agape as he watches you trying to undress.

"Yes, there's no one around for miles and I can't move in this thing" 

You can hear him gulp from where you were sitting, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows back air. You take note of the way he tugs on the collar of his shirt, loosening it slightly. Were you making him nervous? You had to admit, it made you feel good to watch your big, tough man with years of experience become nervous at your words.

"And as hot as you do look in that suit, I think it's time to take it off." 

"What do you mean?" Thor looks shocked at your forwardness. The suprise on his face almost comical.

"Have you ever done a body shot?" You ask while he unzips your dress, teasing him and enjoying it more than you should.

"What is that?" He asks, his eyes drawn to you while you step out of your heavy dress, folding it carefully and putting it on the back of the sun lounger.

"Take off your clothes and I'll show you." You smile, standing confidently in the lingerie you bought especially for this moment - a lacy, ivory all in one.

The way his eyes lingered on your body made you feel like a goddess and that hungry look in his eyes made you want to rip his clothes off.

Thor took off his jacket hastily and paused while unbuttoning his shirt, looking up at you.

"I thought you were a virgin?" He looks hurt, like you'd been lying about being a virgin for all this time.

"I said I was a virgin, you know I have experience with other things." You lift your eyebrows at him and roll your eyes.

"You just don't seem very nervous anymore?" 

"Only because I'm comfortable with you Thor, I know I can be myself with you and there's no one better for me to have my first time with." You watch Thor's tension ease, the tightness of his arms relaxing. "Now lay back." You demand, unscrewing the lid on the bottle of tequila.

Thor lays back on the lounger with his arms resting behind his head, holding his neck up so he could watch what you were doing fascinatingly. The sight of his bare chest made you feel weak, the chiselled abs sent tingles through your body. You tried to push your thoughts aside while you concentrated on pouring a shot of tequila, your hands visably shaking and spilling some of the liquid on the floor. 

You place the cut lime into Thor's mouth, the juicy part facing out and pause to giggle at how silly he looks.

"Just hold it there, ok?" Thor nods his head, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

Grabbing the salt from the side of you, you carefully pour a trial down his torso, stopping when you get to the hem of his boxers but secretly wishing you could go lower. Your pussy clenches as Thor's abs tense, restraining against the tickling of the grains of salt against his bare stomach.

Your eyes remain fixed on his as you lean over Thor to lick the trail of salt from his torso, making your way down to the hem of his boxers slowly. You quickly pour the burning liquid down your throat before snaking your way up his body, making sure to grind yourself against him as you take the lime from his mouth, he groans and pushes himself into you desperately.

"Mmm…  Well that was..  arousing. Is it my turn now?" He's already getting up from the lounger, hastily waiting for you to take his place and lay down.

Thor straddles over you, barely waiting for you to lay back and get comfy before he's pouring the salt along the swell of your breasts. You're thinking about his improvisation when you're distracted by the sultry smile and glint in his eyes as he licks his full lips with the tip of his tongue. 

You don't have time to think before he's leaning over and licking the salt from your cleavage, he downs the shot and takes the lime from your mouth. You stare wide eyed at the almost other worldly speed of your husband - why the rush?

Thor sucks on the flesh of the fruit before throwing the skin to the side and leaning in to give you a sticky, citrusy kiss. Leaving your mouth parted and wanting more when he stands up, yanks down his boxers and jumps straight into the pool. The whole thing passed by in a blur and it took you a moment for your brain to catch up and process what was happening.

You smile down at your husband in the water as he comes up to the surface and smooths his wet hair back from his face. He looks like a damn model, the water dripping from his face.

"Come on, the waters lovely." He urged.

All of a sudden you feel shy again, you know you're not going to be able to resist each other for much longer. Understanding now why Thor was so hasty, his adrenaline was in overdrive and come to think of it, so was yours. 

Your hands begin to shake and you don't know if it's from the cool breeze or the nerves. You're feeling a little reserved now, all your big girl talk fading now the moment is almost here. You pour yourself a couple more shots and down them both one after the other, hardly whincing as the liquor burns your throat.

Finally you bite the bullet and shimmy out of your lingerie, you try to do it sexily but the tight fabric clings to your skin making you clumsy. Still, when you look up shyly through your lashes, Thor is completely oblivious to your fumbling. The way his eyes have lit up when he watched you undress fills you with pride. One last shot for good luck before you jump into the pool to join him.

The cold water sends shocks through you, making you rise to the surface gasping for air. How the hell did Thor make it look so sexy? When you look like a spluttering fish out of water.

"Let me warm you up." He glides over to you, smoothly, moving through the water like it was his natural domain. Maybe you were trying too hard? Thinking about things too deeply, you need to calm down.

The feel of his strong arms around you instantly calm you, you wrap your legs tightly around his stomach. You can feel his cock growing against you and by the way he's biting his lip you know he's struggling to restrain himself.

Thor can feel the heat of your pussy so close to his aching cock, he wants to dive inside but knows he needs to go at your pace. His feet touch the bottom of the pool and he moves over to the edge, pushing your back gently against it.

You can feel his heart racing almost as fast as yours. He kisses you deeply, pushing himself against you. Your fingers brush against his cock making him moan in your ear. The size of him makes you even more nervous.

He kisses down your neck , your bodies grinding together. This is it.

"I want you now, Thor." You say breathlessly, panting his name while his lips press to the sensitive spot on your collar bone.

"Here?" He pulls away slightly to look at you, waiting for your approval.

"Yes" you moan, feeling the tip of his cock pressing against your opening eagerly. Your pussy ready to suck him in.

He eases in slowly. The size stretching your walls in an agonisingly pleasurable way. A breathless squeel escapes your lips making Thor stop suddenly.

"Are you ok? I'm not hurting you am I?" He stops, searching your face for an answer.

"Thor it feels amazing." You whine deeply, looking into his eyes with strong, burning love. It hurt slightly as his cock stretched you open - going where no man had been before. You were so glad you'd waited and that Thor was your first but you wish you hadn't waited this long to make love to Thor.

All that time wasted, when you could have been doing this all along.This is a whole new level of love, your bodies finally coming together as one. You feel emotional with the euphoric sensations of built up tensions. 

Thor is so gentle with you, stopping to make sure your ok as he gently thrusts himself into you. The slow pace making the pleasure even more intense as his length repeatedly hits your spot. You feel your face screwing uncontrollably as a unknown sensation rises through you, making your head feel dizzy. This new feeling feels amazing but it's something you've never experienced before. Is this normal? 

You try to push your thoughts away, reminding yourself to stay in the moment.

"Are you comfortable, do you want to go inside?" Thor asks, obviously seeing the turmoil going on inside your head.

"Please. Don't stop" You urge, hoping to feel that gripping sensation once more, desperate to explore it more.

Thor bites his lip as he carries on with his slow love making, trying more than ever to keep up the slow pace even though it is torturous for him. The way your tight walls cling to his length with ferocity, making it harder for him to contain himself.

"You feel so good" he says through gritted teeth, concentrating on the way your pussy grips onto his cock.

You're taking his cock so well, the pain has disappeared and all you feel is ecstasy. You're feeling confident that you can take more, you can let him take you freely.

"Thor, fuck me faster." You say shyly. You can see his eyes light up at your words, he was waiting so patiently for you to take the lead. Your eyes roll back as he gives you his full length, groaning into you as he grips onto your ass with both hands. The sensation takes over you once more and you ride it out, giving in to it as he continues thrusting into you faster.

"Fuck." He moans, you can feel his cock twitching inside of you as you release your orgasm, screaming out his name while his cock pumps into you.

You're both left panting, while you rest your head on his shoulder. You feel like giggling, is that normal? You're overcome with emotions all at once. This was without a doubt the most amazing feeling you have ever felt, you don't want it to stop. Lucky for you, your husband has the stamina of a god.

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Loki’s Line About Betraying Everyone

I need to talk about this line (spoiler: I’m not happy about it). I was going to just include this in the full episode response post I’m working on, but it got long enough that I decided to make it its own.

First of all, here’s the full quote: "I betrayed everyone who ever loved me. I betrayed my father, my brother, my home. I know what I did. And I know why I did it. And that's not who I am anymore."

Y'all, I'm less emotional about it now but this line fucked me up when I first heard it. It hit me like a ton of bricks while watching the episode for the first time because I was actually doing fine and wasn't significantly bothered by anything up until that point, and then came that line and I suddenly almost felt physically ill. I actually wrote up a post about it that night but never posted it because it was essentially just a lot of screaming, so I've now taken pieces of that and formed a hopefully more coherent post (though it still contains a good amount of screaming). So, I get that the idea that Loki’s betrayed Thor over and over is a Commonly Accepted Thing. It's really a lot more complicated than that, and there are a lot of gray areas involved, but fine, I'll give them that one. But - when did Loki betray his father? When did Loki betray his home?? I’m not just mad about it, this is...a legitimate question. I mean with the father thing, I guess the only thing could be the nursing home in Ragnarok/taking the throne from him? Which is irrelevant anyway because this Loki didn’t do that and doesn't even know it happened in the main timeline?? And besides, it PALES, like, hilariously, in comparison to any one of multiple things Odin did to him before that (not counting any fanon here - just the canon things that we know of!) I am just so confused, especially about the betraying Asgard thing. WHEN? LITERALLY WHEN? Guys, there is no film in which that took place.

If I trusted the narrative, I would say the most logical thing to conclude - at least about the betraying Asgard part - is that this is a setup for Loki to later realize he actually saved Asgard by causing Ragnarok (because that's the closest thing I can think of to "betraying his home"), which could even tie into something about, idk, helping him realize he’s capable of being a hero? (or something) and it would be a good follow-up to the moment he found out about Ragnarok in episode 2, but...fuck, the way these lines were framed it really doesn't feel like anything like that is going to happen. I could be wrong, but these just didn't strike me as lines that are at any point going to be contradicted or even revisited.

And moving onto another part of the quote - "I know why I did it." Uh, I guess good for Loki for apparently knowing that...but the audience sure doesn't?? This is something we're just now being told and have not been shown at all?? I have a feeling Loki thinks he knows why but it unfortunately doesn't have anything to do with some of the biggest actual reasons, which are the abuses done to him that helped make him who he is. Even more unfortunately, I also have a feeling the creators are on roughly the same page as Loki here. So yeah, that's a real shame.

The core problem here seems to be where the writers are coming from, and @iamanartichoke worded it really well here, so I’m just going to quote her: “either the writing is being lazy by oversimplifying Loki’s motives, or it’s being deliberately misleading in order to retcon the character, or the writers genuinely believe that’s what happened, which implies a misunderstanding of Loki’s character kinda from the get-go - at least on what drives his villainy and what fuels his anger, which are pretty significant things.” I do think there’s a slight chance they were using Loki as an unreliable narrator here and the audience was supposed to pick up on the subtext (more on that at the end of this post), but I doubt it, and I think it’s very likely one or more of the options listed in the quote. 

Honestly, I can explain Loki's line about betrayal (and his general lack of acknowledgement of his own trauma/legit grievances against his family) pretty easily in-universe. It makes sense that Loki himself would frame things as him betraying everyone who's ever loved him as if they never did anything to wrong him first, or that he would try to ignore what Thanos did to him in favor of putting all the blame on himself (coping with his trauma and loss of control by denying it). Or hell, maybe he would even straight up subconsciously invent a betrayal that never even happened, like the one about his home. I can totally understand Loki seeing the events of his life that way! That all lines up with his complete lack of self-worth, and to have him 1) recognize his mistakes and take responsibility for them (which has happened at this point in the show), but then progress on to 2) realize he isn't solely to blame for literally everything, and 3) recognize the role of his family and others in understanding why he is the way he is - that would be a very satisfying arc and is the natural direction that the story should take in episode 6. The problem is, I don't think the show is going that way. I think we're either supposed to take it at face value that Loki did in fact betray everybody who ever loved him (as if Loki is a reliable narrator when he's most certainly an unreliable one), or the audience is supposed to figure out that Loki's an unreliable narrator here - but the latter won't work, because the creators have to follow through on that subtext at some point and actually do something to indicate that what Loki said wasn't 100% true, and it doesn't feel like they're going to. You can't expect your audience to put any weight on subtext or even pick up on it in the first place if you never actually confirm anything, and your audience won't know your narrator is unreliable unless you tell them. If Loki being an unreliable narrator in that specific moment was their intention, only a small subset of fans are going to pick up on it. So the way they're framing it so far, the audience is simply going to see it the same way Loki does and not realize it's incorrect. 

Unfortunately, as stated earlier, I think the most likely explanation is that the writers either don’t understand Loki, are being lazy, or are deliberately retconning. So while I take a degree of comfort in the in-universe explanation, it’s pretty damn infuriating to consider where the writer’s minds were probably at in reality, and how this set of lines is presenting Loki to the casual audience. 

Tagging @iamanartichoke and @delyth88 if you guys have any thoughts?

[lady-loki-laufey]

stop putting posts in the thorki tag like 'omg i can't believe thorki shippers have the gall to say sylkie is bad bc incest/i can't believe thorki has been popular for 10 years but sylkie is being attacked'. stop attempting to stir up drama that literally doesn't and will never exist.

a) thorki hasn't been a popular ship since well before thor ragnarok came out. thorki shippers have been getting attacked by antis for years, including this latest wave of hate sparked by sylkie becoming canon. (even tho thorki had nothing to do with that.) i would love to visit this anti-free fantasy land mcu fandom you have in your imagination bc it sounds way more chill and fun than reality.

b) thorki shippers haven't been attacking sylkie for being incestuous. check the tag for receipts. WE DON'T CARE. the vast majority of thorki shippers i've seen on my dash and in the tag don't even consider sylkie to be incestuous in the first place. accusing us of being hypocrites who are ok with m/m incest and not ok with m/f incest is stupid as fuck because most of us don't think sylkie is incest and the ones who do obviously don't care about shipping it anyways. a lot of us shipped lokicest before sylvie even existed. a lot of us also ship thor and lady loki. we don't care about selfcest, we don't care about m/f ships.

all the dislike of sylkie i've seen in the thorki fandom thus far has revolved around the fact that thorki shippers feel thor and loki have a deeper, more important bond and are a more interesting ship. it has nothing to do with ~ew incest~ and i have not found a single post saying anything even remotely like that. pretty hard to get up on your condescending high horse about how some people.... prefer a different ship for completely mundane non-moral reasons, huh. people are allowed to just prefer their previous otp, it's not a moral judgment on YOUR otp.

c) the reason y'all have this stupid misconception in the first place is bc you don't even ship thorki, so you have no fucking idea what the thorki fandom is doing or talking about. you don't even go here. you're making up a strawman to get mad at! you're so used to dealing with assholes that you can't imagine the existence of another ship fandom that simply... doesn't care about yours. i know it's a wild concept, but it's true. maybe instead of spamming the thorki tag with your inane mean girls-esque fake outrage over a non-issue, you could try it. we're literally just vibing, leave us alone.

[i know there are plenty of chill sylkies and sylkie/thorki multishippers. i'm sorry your fellow fans are being Like This™. every instance of 'you' and 'y'all' refers to the general obnoxious fan unless you're one of the people who have posted one of those stupid comments in the thorki tag, then i do mean you specifically. shut up.]

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

I've been rewatching all the Loki content to get ready for the new show and I have thought of A Phineas and Ferb AU™ for your viewing pleasure (and if anyone wants to turn any part of this into an actual fanfic I would owe you my life)

this post was brought to you in partnership with @dumbausfromdanville

You know how the first Thor movie ends with Loki yeeting himself off the Bifrost and falling to earth? What if, instead of going after the Tesseract, he falls straight to the Tri-State area?

Jane, Darcy, and Selvig all seemed to be on vacation, right? So Thor presumably took place during the summer — say, perhaps, ending on June 3? So he falls right onto Phineas and Ferb's rollercoaster just before it goes down that ♫ three-mile drop straight down ��. He has no idea wtf is happening so it's not like he gets the chance to sit down and put on a seatbelt, so he's stuck holding on for dear life for the entire rollercoaster ride which Phineas and Ferb find weird but they're not really concerned bc they're chill lil dudes and tbh this isn't too far off a normal day for them.

Phineas and Loki strike up a none-too-pleasant conversation (not that Phineas notices Loki's bad mood; he's too Him to realize not everyone is rainbows and sunshine all day, every day), and our favorite lil disoriented demigod has to figure out where the fuck he is now ("You there. What realm is this?" "Danville 🙂" "Wut da fuk?") and what the fuck he's supposed to do now that he's here.

Phineas ends up inviting him to hang out for the afternoon, and Loki is about to turn him down but then he smells the pie. He's never had doonkleberry pie before so obviously he has to try it. Then, when Loki's no longer hangry, they can hold an actual conversation. It's lowkey more Loki wallowing in his own self-pity than anything else, but Ferb recognizes Asgard when Loki mentions it so he and Phineas piece together that he's a god pretty quickly.

More importantly, though, they figure out that he's completely alone, and because Loki never mentions trying to, you know, murder his brother and lowkey overthrow the monarchy, they just kinda assume Loki's family sucks (Ferb is completely prepared to start the anti-Thor club but Phineas stops him because he doesn't want his brother to get struck by lightning) and adopt him (without his consent, but it's not like he has anywhere else to be -- and he did like that pie).

Loki has no desire to build anything with the boys He thinks the idea of a backyard beach they make the next morning is stupid — even more stupid than a regular beach, and that's saying something. But over time, he gets more involved -- not just with the boys, but with the entire family. He helps the boys build their inventions. He talks about human history with Lawrence and corrects much of his knowledge on mythology. He lets Linda teach him how to bake seriously, her pies are so good. He even suffers through Candace's mall trips as long as he gets to go to that fro-yo place on the second floor (though he draws the line at any conversation involving romance).

He's still a little skeptical of the platypus (and he feels like the platypus is a little skeptical of him, too) but Phineas insists that he's "just a platypus" and he "doesn't do much." Loki doesn't realize that Perry's keeping an eye on him for OWCA, nor does he know that Monogram has absolutely no idea what to make of the dude so he hasn't actually told any of his superiors about him. As far as the government is concerned, after the fiasco in New Mexico, Loki just disappeared.

This makes it fucking hilarious when the boys accidentally steal the superheroes' powers in Mission: Marvel and the superheroes show up at the Flynn-Fletchers' front door only to see fucking Loki. Loki just shuts the door in their faces without a word because what the fuck?, but eventually Phineas and Ferb go check the door and they agree to help the heroes (much to Loki's chagrin), which, of course, isn't complete with Candace fangirling over them (also much to Loki's chagrin; she never fangirled over him). At first the Avengers are fully convinced that Loki is responsible for stealing their powers, and Loki never actually denies it because he's a little shit but Phineas, Ferb, and their friends are very insistent that Loki didn't do anything (except a little bit of manual labor putting together the satellites because they're 10 and he's a whole-ass demigod).

At some point, Thor and Loki have a very heated discussion about the events of Thor, and it's pretty much all news to the Flynn-Fletchers and their friends. They're not really sure what to make of it so they basically glue their mouths shut and watch it all play out. I'd like to think it goes something like it does in The Avengers and that a) Thor is pissed because what the fuck have you been up to Loki you fucking dumbass, b) Thor has been in mourning since Loki yeeted himself into the abyss and he wants to make sure the guy knows it, and c) Loki does not take it seriously at all he's being antagonistic the entire time because he is so sick of Mr. High-And-Mighty's shit. In the end, Loki storms out of the SHEDquarters and Phineas doesn't even think to try to stop him until he's halfway out the door and it's too late.

He shows up again when Phineas, Ferb, and the Avengers try to fight the bad guys in the mall with the wrong powers and he basically singlehandedly saves their asses until superhero Perry shows up. As everyone's favorite shapeshifter, he has absolutely no problem figuring out that this beaver duck dude is the Flynn-Fletchers' platypus. He has no idea what to do with that information, but it sure is information that he now has apparently. (At this point, poor Loki has a very warped sense of what earth is supposed to be like lmao).

Phineas tries to get Loki to come back with them after superhero Perry grabs them and carries them home. Instead, Loki cuts himself loose and falls like 30 feet straight down (and tbh after falling from the Bifrost, that's nothing to him) and peaces the fuck out.

Loki ends up accidentally bonding with Candace and Isabella over feeling useless and unwanted (and he absolutely gets his own verse in Only Trying to Help because it's what he deserves), but unlike the two girls who are hell-bent on changing that, Loki is content wallowing in his own self-pity. He's tried this whole "being important" thing before and he ended up in self-exile for it. He's not putting himself through it again because he really doesn't expect it to end well. But then the powerless heroes decide to face the villains again, and with Candace and Isabella in space and Perry nowhere to be seen, he realizes it is once again up to him to keep the tri-state area safe (which he knows is a stupid priority but he's gotten kind of attached to these stupid little humans and he wants to keep them safe).

Then the heroes get their powers back and they join Loki (and Perry and the mysterious waffle gun in the sky) and beat the shit out of the villains. Thor and Loki work together in the heat of the battle which serves as a Great Bonding Moment™, and once the villains are gone, they have a nice lil heart-to-heart where they both apologize for their past. Thor remarks that Loki seems to have grown a lot over the last couple of months and tries to bring Loki home with him, but Loki refuses. He'll never be welcome back into Asgard, no matter what Thor may say.

But he is welcome with the Flynn-Fletchers, who are completely over the fact that he tried to ruin Thor's life and take his not-so-rightful place on the throne (except Candace who's very skeptical about having him back but it's not like Linda will believe her if she tries to tell her what Thor and Loki talked about so her opinion is unfortunately as irrelevant as it usually is on the show).

And early the next morning, before anyone else is awake, Perry gets an alert that he's needed in his headquarters (presumably to talk to or about Fury). He quietly sneaks off, only to find Loki waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him. They have a very nice "conversation" (not that Perry speaks) about the superhero Ducky Momo they saw the day before, and Loki assures him that his secret is safe, thus starting a much-needed bromance between Loki and Perry because it's what my babies, goddammit!

Anyways yeah if anyone wants to write a fanfic about Loki hanging out with Phineas and Ferb during his self-exile I would give you a socially distant high-five because I want to read it but I have too many other fanfics on my plate to start this one for at least a few months. It doesn't have to follow this prompt literally at all (I swear I wasn't trying to get this in-depth with it but this is what I do apparently) or it can follow this prompt exactly idc i just want a PnF/Loki fanfic 🥺

[dailylogyn]

Logyn Meta: Loki & Sigyn’s relationship in the Marvel Comics

Photo Source (by Sexy-Salmon): https://lokisergi.tumblr.com/post/70164902295/siege-loki-problems-it-almost-looks-innocent

Other Logyn Meta’s: https://dailylogyn.tumblr.com/tagged/logyn-meta

Did you know Sigyn was in the Marvel Comics long ago? Did you know Loki had a wife? 

Oh...that’s probably because Marvel wanted you to forget their terrible writing mistakes concerning this great Norse Couple. 

Let’s dive into this exploration of history where the Marvel writers realized they fucked up on telling a perfectly good couples story, and in the process, setting off a spark of rebellion that caused some retconning and a group of fans to demand justice for both Loki & Sigyn -- not just as a couple, but as their own individual beings. 

#JusticeforSigyn #JusticeforLoki #JusticeforLogyn

Where it First Began (Meeting & Marriage of Lies):

In September of 1978, Thor #275 came out featuring the first appearance of Sigyn, Loki’s wife from Norse Mythology. She was introduced as a beautiful Asgardian Loki had randomly come across while looking into a crystal ball inside his castle, wanting to find some companionship to fill his loneliness. 

However, when Loki came with riches and jewels to offer her in exchange for her hand in marriage, Sigyn outright rejected him, stating she would never take someone as vile as him, even stating she was already engaged to an Asgardian Warrior part of Odin’s guard -- Theoric. 

Unable to accept this, Loki came up with a plan to have her fiancee killed during a mission, resulting in the Trickster taking on the disguise of Theoric in order to take Sigyn for his own. Despite having slightly suspicions of her lover being more romantic than before, Sigyn didn't notice that her lover wasn’t exactly who she thought he was.

Now comes the day of the wedding as Odin marries the happy couple. This was when Loki finally revealed his true self and what he had done. Odin tried to null the marriage, but it was against Asgardian law for even the High Father to do such a thing. Hence, Sigyn accepted her fate as Loki’s wife. This caused Odin to name her the Goddess of Fidelity. 

Where it’s Heading (Cargo of Incantation-Fetter’s Arms):

Loki being Loki, he did some shit that ended up with him being imprisoned in a tree by Odin, something that infuriated Sigyn, resulting in her trying to take control over Donald Blake to use over the All-Father as a way to free her husband from his punishment. However, it didn’t work out, resulting in a bunch of other crazy shit happening and putting Thor on their trail.

After Balder was killed, Loki was put on trials for his crimes and received yet another punishment that Sigyn had to protect him from -- having burden over the fact she was “the evil’s wife.” Just like the classic Norse tale, she holds a bowl over his head, shielding him from snake venom and leaving to empty it momentarily when it became full, resulting in Loki cursing her. 

Also, Loki and Sigyn had a child -- Narvi, but they died young, being used as the binding to imprison Loki (following the Norse myth too.) 

Some more crazy shit happens and now Odin has shackled Loki to Sigyn so he doesn’t cause anymore trouble. Loki of course is not pleased about this one bit. Having had enough of this, he went to Odin demanding to be released, only resulting in him being banished to an outpost. 

There Just Might be Hope????:

Some more shit happens again, resulting in Loki being stuck in an astral form and bound to a suit of armor so he could reside in Asgard thanks to Sigyn. A fight happens with Thor, Loki and Mephisto, putting Sigyn in danger. This is when for the first time ever, Loki ends up having a tender confession of love over Sigyn, asking Thor to save her since he could not.

It’s unknown if this is just Loki putting on an act or being real, but you know how the Trickster God can be. 

After the battle, while Loki had released Sigyn from her marital vows, his wife swore to always be there for him when he needed her.

And that’s the last we see of Sigyn’s regular appearance in the comics in 1996. She makes a cameo in Avengers: Unleashed #1 in 2019, but it’s nothing more than a flashback to her time of helping Loki. 

A Hypothesis & Notes on their relationship in comics:

The whole entire plotline consisting of Theoric and Loki killing him in order to obtain Sigyn is just something most of the fandom doesn’t like. Not only does it objectify Sigyn, but it makes Theoric a Pointless character to introduce anyway, only used as a tool for means in which Loki can get Sigyn, when honestly, he could have done so in a different way.

I like that they stick with Sigyn being the faithful wife of Loki (that’s who she is), but they honestly don’t give her any agency in this besides that trait alone. The writers don’t even let Sigyn be her own damn person! She is SO MUCH MORE than Loki’s loyal wife. SHE IS A FREAKIN GODDESS! I know there is more we can do with her.

Instead of pulling the ‘woe is me, my husband is evil and I’ll just go along with it’ card, something else could have been done. LIKE LITERALLY, ANYTHING ELSE! We know Loki can be a troublemaker, but Sigyn knows how to deal with his shit. She isn’t some damsel in distress here! It’s another reason Loki likes her.

Couples can bicker in times, it’s normal in marriages and relationships, but to have Loki whining about how much of a burden Sigyn is is just....WHY? I mean, you went after the woman and killed another guy for her. This is what you wanted! *shakes head at writers*

I will give them kudos though for some of the stuff near the end when Loki actually starts displaying his true feelings of love towards Sigyn. And sadly we only got a little taste of that...and we aren’t even sure if it was an act or Loki being real.

THE FACT THAT SIGYN ISN’T EVEN IN THE COMICS ANYMORE SINCE 1996. She’s only mentioned, but it’s just as a tale, not as an actual person who USED to be his wife. They literally killed her off. EXCUSE ME! #JusticeforSigyn (We’re still waiting for her in the MCU...)

NORSE MYTHOLOGY TIE-INS:

There were some moments in the comics between them that they writers took from Norse Mythology with them. Thought It’d be important to list.

Loki’s Punishment of snake venom dripping onto him while Sigyn holds a bowl to collect it and shield him.

Narvi being Loki & Sigyn’s son who was killed and his insides used to bind Loki for his punishment.

Sigyn being Loki’s wife. 

DIFFERENT WRITERS, DIFFERENT CHARACTERIZATION:

As is the case with everything out there, if you have different writers working on the same project, there is bound to be a difference of characterization and interpretation, resulting in OOC moments or just something completely different altogether. After researching and pondering on this subject, I FULLY believe this is what has happened with Loki & Sigyn’s relationship in the comics. Let’s take a look at the evidence I’ve found:

For the comics Sigyn’s creators were Roy Thomas, John Buscema and Tom Palmer. 

Loki’s creators for the comics were Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, Jack Kirby, Violet Barclay, and honestly, many others.  

My favorite quotes on them from the comics:

Wait? Despite the crappy writing, I actually have quotes I like from the comics? GASP! I call these the only positives from the comics of their relationship. 

“My Sigyn-- the love of my immortal life...” — Loki, Thor Annual Vol 1 #19

“Aye-- For only Sigyn, of all in the realm eternal, feels love for Loki. And among all Asgardians, only for Sigyn does Loki feel...” — Loki, Thor Annual #19

“Sigyn loves me-- just as she is the only thing in the nine worlds that I truly love.”— Loki, Thor #483

Photo Source: https://www.zerochan.net/1262293#full

Fandoms Wish for MCU & Future Appearance Justice:

Fans would like to see Sigyn make an appearance, not only in the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe), but also the Marvel Comics once again. They would like to see Loki & Sigyn’s characters done justice with proper writing, especially regarding their relationship with each other. 

This is why there is plenty of fans out there writing Fanfiction, making Fanart, Roleplaying and even Cosplaying them, giving their interpretation’s of what their relationship would be like. This is THE VERY REASON this blog and @sigynappreciation​ was created to help spread awareness and unite fans who feel the same way. 

These characters are very near and dear to our hearts. Some of us even worship them in our religions. We would like to see their relationship grow and portrayed in a way that helps fill the pieces of the missing puzzle to how they came to be in Norse Mythology. 

CONCLUSION:

Although their relationship in the comics usually leaves fans grimacing, at least we got to have it explored. Who knows if Marvel will ever touch anything with them ever again, but at least it’s brought together a small community that continues to go strong -- and honestly, that kind of unity is what Loki & Sigyn would want. 

So imagine to your hearts content! Draw that fanart! Write those fanfictions! Dress up in that cosplay! Be those characters! But just remember, you have a family here to love and support you. 

SOURCES:

Sigyn’s info on Marvel Database: https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Sigyn_(Earth-616)

Loki’s info on Marvel Database: https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Loki_Laufeyson_(Earth-616)

Sigyn on Marvel Universe: http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/sigynthor.htm

Logyn on the Shipping Wiki: https://shipping.fandom.com/wiki/Logyn

Loki & Sigyn’s relationship through Media: https://www.alehorn.com/blogs/blog/norse-mythology-loki-and-sigyn

[anonymousfiction211]

You always have a choice: 2

Summary: You and Loki went to his hiding place, after being locked up in prison on Asgard together. You still don’t quite trust the God and things get out of hand.  Word Count: 2.857 words Warnings: Bit of angst, smut A/N: There are a few more chapters coming. I will post them every thursday. This is an alternate timeline. Loki has encountered Asgard and helped Thor fighting the Dark elves. After that he took over Asgard, was caught and thrown in jail. Hope you like it <3 Click here to read chapter 1

The morning light shone trough the window and awoke you. Your hands roamed the space next to you. Your eyes snapped open when you didn’t feel anyone next to you. You sat up straight and scanned the cottage. You didn’t see anyone. You slowly got out of bed and stalked around. Loki was nowhere to be seen. Panic was starting to rise. You were stupid to believe that you could trust the God of Lies. He was gone, with the Tesseract, probably to save his himself. And you, you would die a painful dead, alone. Worse, he had used you. He could have taken off the moment you arrived here, but no. He probably just wanted to fuck you, which explains his way of fucking you. And you foolishly believed that he actually cared for you.

At this point you starting to search around the cottage for your clothes. You needed to move and fast. You dressed yourself and went to the kitchen. It wouldn’t hurt to grab some knives you could use as a weapon. The front door opened behind you, you turned around with two knives in your hand. Ready to attack, whomever had entered. You were surprised to see Loki standing there, eying you. ‘What are you doing, darling?’ he asked you. ‘Where were you?’ you screamed at him. You were still standing in your fight stance, adrenaline rushing through you. You were expecting him to make the first move. He just holds up a bag and looked a bit hurt at you. ‘Getting something for us to eat’ he said to you.

It took a few seconds for you to calm yourself. You lowered your knives to your sides, but still feeling bit on edge, you hold onto them. Loki closed the door behind you and walked towards the table, he was standing on the opposite side of it. With a loud thump he threw the bag of food on the table. You noticed his breathing was faster than it was a moment ago. His hurt expression has made way for an angry one. Without saying a word, he held out his hand and the Tesseract appeared. He put it on the table and slide it over to you. When you caught it a lump in your throat began to form. Tears were pricking behind your eyes, but now was not the time to display any sign of weakness. ‘Just take it and go’ he said. His voice was monotone, and his face didn’t show any emotion. You looked at the cube in front of you and back to Loki. Even tough he didn’t show it, you felt like you had hurt him.

That’s when you realized, you needed him, but he didn’t need you. He would be perfectly capable of living his live, whilst avoiding Thanos at the same time. After all, he apparently was doing that for a very long time. In this situation you were dependent on him and he could easily betray you. He could have betrayed you from the moment you were in Odin’s vault together, he could have run of with the Tesseract by himself. Or worse, deliver you to Thanos himself, he could easily spin it like that was his plan all along and get back in good graces with Thanos. ‘I thought..’ you started but couldn’t finish the sentence. The way he looked at you, you knew he already knew the end of that sentence. ‘I know we were in each other’s way a lot and didn’t treat each other like we should have. But for you to think I would actually do that. If you really believe that, take it and go’ he said. ‘And if I were you I should hurry. It will only take a few minutes before the signal of that stone will emit and after that a few seconds for them to be here’ he took a long pause. ‘If you don’t and you stay, I already told you. I need you to trust me’ he said.

You slid the cube back to Loki. After all, what choice did you have? You put the knives down on the table. Loki made the cube vanish like he did yesterday. He walked towards one of the chairs, grabbed a book and started to flip through it. ‘Loki?’ you said, hoping that you could somehow apologize for hurting him. But Loki didn’t respond and kept his attention fixed on his book. You walked towards the bag and saw that it contained some food, which you had never seen before. You took out something that looked like bread and pulled off a piece. You sat down at the kitchen table and nibbled at the bread. It tasted nothing like on Asgard, but it wasn’t half bad. You didn’t eat all of it, the suspense in the room made you lose your appetite. You put the rest of the food away in the cabinets. When you turned your back you felt Loki’s eyes on your back, but when you turned around his eyes were glued to his book. When you were done you decided to give it one more try ‘Loki?’ you asked again. He still didn’t answer you. You sighed ‘I’m going for a walk’ you told him.

You walked towards the door and turned the handle. When you pulled the door towards you, it didn’t open. You started to wiggle the knob and pull harder, but the door still didn’t budge. When you turned and looked at Loki you saw he had a small smile on his face. ‘You’re not going anywhere’ he told you, still not looking at you. ‘Seriously? you asked, stunned by this sudden move. He wasn’t even trying to hide his amusement at your reaction. ‘Just trust me, darling’ he purred. ‘Loki, don’t be an ass. Just let me leave’ you were starting to get aggravated.

‘Oh, I’m being an ass? How would you call your behaviour?’ he countered.

‘Given my situation, completely rational’ you answered.

‘Concluding that I abandoned you when you woke up and arming yourself is rational?’ he had lowered his book and he locked his gaze in with yours.

‘Given who you are, I think that it is’ the moment the words left your lips you knew you regret them. But you had already said them, no turning back now. You flinched when Loki got up from his seat and strutted a few steps in your direction. It made you take a few steps back, until you felt the table behind you. There was only a meter of space between you and Loki, but you could feel the anger radiate of him.

‘That’s how it is? After everything I’ve done fore you? You knew that I didn’t have to help you. In fact, my life would be a lot simpler right now if I didn’t help you’ he yelled at you.

‘Then why are you helping me? I don’t understand’ you yelled back at him. There was a silence for a minute. You two were still in some sort of staring match and you refused to be the one who would lose. ‘How could you not understand after last night?’ he asked you. He was still angry, but his voice was much softer now. ‘What? Because you told me you never let me go? Guys say anything when they just hade some’ it felt like an outer body experience. You literally saw yourself fighting with Loki like you were a third person in the room. And when you heard yourself, even you didn’t understand yourself. No wonder you were alone, you had no friends, always bouncing from place to place, the only ever solid relationship you had was an enemy. And that was Loki. He closed the distance between you. His hand went to your cheek and you flinched, expecting a hard blow. The blow never came, instead you felt the back of his index finger stroking your cheek. ‘I thought last night meant something. Apparently I was wrong’ he pulled his hand away from you and his soft voice was replaced with one of spite.

He took a stab back. ‘Loki, I didn’t mean…’ you started. Trying to explain your behaviour, even if you didn’t quite know where that explanation was going. ‘I help you, I protect you, I keep you safe and I’ve shared my bed with you. In return you think the worst of me, don’t trust me, and use me to escape your fate’ he said. There was no emotion in his voice, and that was worse than the anger and spite. ‘We have history, how do you expect me to forget that?’ you said. ‘I don’t, but even if I trapped you, or left you, it was only in situations which I knew you would be able to handle on your own’  

He walked towards the door and opened it. ‘Trusting someone is a choice. I’m the God of Lies, so people don’t choose to trust me. Even after I had my brother’s back a hundredth times, even if he was the one who was acting stupid and irrational. People lie, a lot. But somehow, I’m the one who always lies’ he took another step, he was standing outside with the doorknob still in his hand. ‘Where you’re going?’ you asked him, still thinking about what he had told you. ‘I’m going for a walk. You can stay or go as you please’ he said. Then he took a deep breath ‘But right now, I trust you to be here when I get back’ and with that he closed the door and left.

And for the first time in your life, you felt utterly alone. You were always alone, you barely remembered your life when your parents were alive, or you had friends. How it all went wrong, you couldn’t quit tell either. But being on your own was something you were good at, you always had your own back. There were flashes of your time in Thanos his clutches. The way he explained his plan, and how he treated you. It made sense to be on his side and you were hoping to find a family there. What you found was madness, chaos, and destruction. But by that time, it was too late, you were in too deep. You felt your tears starting to stream down your cheek. The only thing you wanted right now was for Loki to hold you, but he wasn’t there. You were alone, because you pushed him away.

You quickly brushed the tears from you face and walked towards the chair Loki was sitting in earlier. It still smelled like him. The book he was flipping through was laying there. You picked it up and it wasn’t noticed it wasn’t a normal book. It was a notebook, and you instantly recognized his handwriting. Maybe it was invading his privacy, but you couldn’t contain your curiosity. On every page there was a different scenario on how he could escape Thanos. He had written them down and later commented on his own ideas. Some he thought to be useful and some he found later to be downright stupid. Halfway through the page you came across a page where the title was underlined multiple times. Even tough he couldn’t see Thor breaking him out of jail and requesting his help to fight the dark elves coming, he had planned to fake his death a long time. He was just waiting for the right opportunity. And Loki was cunning when he saw his chance he took it.

When you turned the next page, you saw that his change had changed. He had written down everything you told him when the two of you were briefly locked up together. After a few pages you saw different plans. Plans about escaping Thanos, but ending up together. You looked at the date and saw it was dated only a few days after the two of you were thrown in a cell together. Next to his plans there were again, little comments he left for himself. You saw a debate with himself about including you, whenever you did something to annoy him he would write it down as a reason to leave or betray you. But he had scratched all those thoughts and written down reasons to help you underneath them. You couldn’t help but laugh a little at Loki’s constant bickering with himself. When you turned to the last written page you were absolutely stunned. The last page didn’t say much, it wasn’t about a plan he had come up with. It just said:

Last night was amazing. But you need to come up with a better plan, quick. Let’s face it, life without her in it isn’t worth living. And maybe get her a few books so she stops stealing yours.

After reading that you put the notebook aside. You scanned his bookcase and started to read one of the stories. Trying to distract yourself from all the thoughts and emotions, you didn’t want to deal with right now. When you were hungry you ate some of the food. You noticed it was getting darker outside and wondered when of if Loki would come back. You stopped that thought and realized it wasn’t a question of if Loki would come back, but when Loki would come back. Because you decided he would come back. He had to.

You jolted awake when the door opened hard. You realized that you had been sleeping on top of the bed, waiting for Loki to come back. Loki walked in and slammed the door shut behind him. You noticed rain was pouring down and Loki was drenched. Water was dripping from his hair and his clothes on the hardwood floor. You were wondering why he hadn’t just teleported back. The two of you looked at each other. His emerald eyes seemed to glow in the dark. He walked towards the bed while stripping off his clothes. The only thing he was wearing when he crawled onto the bed were his damp boxers. He crawled on top of you, and you let him. His body felt cold from the rain against your own. He kissed you fiercely and you eagerly returned the kiss. His hand was under your shirt and fondling your breasts. When he heard you moan you felt him smile.

You took of your top, giving Loki better access to your breasts. He took advantage of that by trailing his kisses down your neck to your nipples. The way his warm tong swirled around your nipples made them hard. After he was done with one he moved to the other. His hand was at the hem of your shorts and underwear and in one smooth motion he pulled the down. You were laying before him, you returned the favour by undoing his underwear. He looked at you and you swore you saw him looking sad. He sighed and didn’t move. You hesitated a bit, but decided to take matters in your own hands. You pulled him in by his neck for a deep kiss. Your heart fluttered when he returned the kiss. He was surprised and you took that to your advantage to flip the two of you around. Loki was laying on his bed, letting out a soft groan. You were straddling his lap and felt our heated core against his erect cock.

At this moment you didn’t needed foreplay. You were already wet and ready for him. He moans loudly when you took his cock and slowly pushed it inside of you. You didn’t give him any time to overthink this and slowly started to ride him. Loki grabbed your hips and after a while starting to move with you. You were riding him at a slow pace which was adding to the intimacy. When you started to moan Loki tried to speed you up by taking control of your hips. You grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands down on either side of his head. You were pinning him down whilst riding him. ‘(Y/N), I can’t hold off for long’ he whimpered beneath you. You felt all his muscles flex underneath you and knew he was trying to hold of until you were there with him. 

You broke your kissing on his lips and necks and sat up straight. You guided one of his hands to your clit and he started to stroke small circles on it. When you were panting you felt Loki’s cock inside of you twitch and his seed spill. It triggered your own orgasm. Loki moaned your name shamelessly when he felt your wall clench around his sensitive cock. After your high ebbed away you pulled off him and laid you head on his chest. Your arms were around him. You felt a touch of his magic cleaning the both of you up and suddenly the two you were beneath the blankets. ‘I’m glad you stayed’ he whispered to you. ‘I’m glad you came back’ you whispered back before you fell asleep safely in his arms.

[uhthor]

I’m a simple person. I see thorbruce, I immediately want to ask you things. Do you have any favorite headcanons about thorbruce or Thor in general?

aaaah hello!!

i’ve never officially done headcanons like written out so forgive me if they’re all wrong and strange but most of them i have are for a fic i’m writing about the five year time jump in endgame and how i thought it would go for them had the writers not fucked everything up.

first of all after the Garden, thor and bruce would not leave each other. it makes no sense to me that they ever did that, that thor was just left alone to wallow in his depression and ptsd by himself. knowing bruce’s character and the fact he even said to thor in endgame “it was you. you helped me.” literally proves that bruce would not have left thor alone during that time.

i like to think that after the snap the o6 lived in the compound together and looked after each other. they’re at a time where they literally can’t do anything to help the universe so they would be surrounded by each other.

steve, nat and bruce would take turns to check on thor and take him food when he never came out of his room to eat. thor wasn’t very good company in the first weeks but he always enjoyed eating dinner with bruce in his room because they’d talk about things that took his mind off his grief.

bruce would see him reading one day and wonder when he got the books from the compound library because thor was literally never out of his room. he must’ve snuck around at night and got them or asked some of the others to get them for him. thor reads a LOT during that time to take his mind off things. bruce is a little offended at first because why didn’t thor tell him he was reading?? they could’ve talked about books!! bruce is the only one in the compound who reads daily so he was rightfully upset!

one of their dinners he takes thor a book on astrology because it might remind thor of home, even though it’s a touchy subject. bruce is the only one who thor lets talk to him honestly about his situation and how he needs help and he’s the only one who thor lets sit on the edge of his bed with him. he’s the only one who thor feels comfortable with touching him.

when thor’s ready, bruce takes him to The Vanished memorial like the one scott visits in endgame. maybe the o6 go all together to try and work through their grief together and form a bond between each other that is actually one of family. if not, thor and bruce definitely go together. bruce wants to help thor on his journey through his grief because he knows exactly what it’s like to be so grief stricken and suicidal like thor inevitably was after the snap.

bruce helps thor try to locate the remaining asgardians who made it off the ship in time before thanos decimated it. they spend months trying to make contact, which brings thor out of his room and into more of a normal routine again. bruce works tirelessly at it because he knows that finding them will give thor a little shred of happiness.

of course, bruce checks every single green insect, animal, leaf etc. for loki upon thor’s request. i wrote a fic about this once, i’ll link it here!

when he’s accepted they’re gone, bruce helps thor give odin, loki and heimdall funerals on the beach. (i saw fan art based on this) they take the day and travel to a beach where thor can give them asgardian send offs and so that thor can connect to his home once again.

thor asks bruce to move to New Asgard with him. he tells him about odin’s death where he and loki sat on the rocks in norway and how he wants to rebuild Asgard there. bruce happily obliges, because at this point the compound only houses steve and nat (tony went to his lil cabin with pepper and morgan and clint went off on his homicidal rage :/).

thor and bruce are integral to building New Asgard and they are helped by korg, miek, valkyrie and the remaining asgardians that thanos didn’t kill. like korg says in ragnarok, it is a haven for all people and aliens of the universe, so thor grants entry to anyone who may not feel they belong anywhere after the snap (this is done in moderation of course) and we finally see what happened to ava starr post amatw - she lives in New Asgard with valkyrie.

thor asks bruce if he will help him seek therapy. i don’t know if thor would be able to take things like anti depressants but he would definitely reach a point where he wants to try and heal. he’s incredibly torn up by the guilt and grief he feels for not stopping thanos, but when he’s surrounded by positivity from bruce, korg, miek, valkyrie etc. he learns to believe that it wasn’t his fault.

there are memorials for loki, heimdall, frigga and odin in New Asgard in thor’s office. he looks at them every day for motivation and strength and even though they are painful, he never takes them down.

thor and bruce have their own house together in New Asgard. they start off as platonic roommates but eventually get closer and realise that they’ve been in love with each other the entire time. everyone around them in New Asgard has already realised months ago but nobody ever thought to mention it until one day korg blurts it out and they’re forced to confess to each other.

they don’t go back to New York until they’re called upon. bruce does not undergo the transformation into professor hulk. as bruce helps thor through his grief, thor unknowingly helps bruce learn to love himself and appreciate that he shouldn’t be ashamed of himself because of how the hulk acts. bruce remembers that he very in character hates the hulk and does not want to merge himself with hulk for the rest of eternity. he admires thor’s love for bruce banner, not the hulk, and tries to adopt it for himself.

most importantly they find some semblance of happiness and peace with each other. whether that’s possible through their grief following the snap i don’t know, but i’m absolutely 100% certain that it is canon in my mind that they never leave each other’s sides.

[sylvie--laufeydottir]

an obligatory analysis of sylvie’s character (aka: who betrayed who?)

in case you can’t tell, i like sylvie. but here’s a big fuckin post where i share my thoughts on her role in the finale in a sort of disjointed kind of way.

NOTE: this isn’t about sylki. i don’t ship it personally, but that isn’t really relevant to this at all. this also doesn’t go into the criticisms i have of the show because this isn’t really the place for that. maybe i can do that later, whatever.

also, this is gonna be a long post. i have a lot of thoughts.

sylvie’s introduction and motivations

one of the first things we learn about sylvie is her opposition to the tva. (okay, it’s literally the first thing, whatever.) in episode 3, we get to see her entire plan - overthrow whoever’s running the tva, and... that’s it. loki questions her about the power vacuum that would leave, to which she shows that she’s not interested in running the tva. (this is also stated in ep 2.) her goals are clear. she wants rid of the entire organisation, and doesn’t care about or want the sort of power that would come with pulling the strings.

her reasoning for this seems pretty simple. she doesn’t want the power ruling the tva would entail because she knows what it’s like to be on the other end of that deal. she had everything taken from her as a child, and doesn’t want that to happen to anybody else. she believes that that kind of power belongs to nobody, not even herself.

this easily establishes her as a character who, despite having an ego, has principles that trump everything else. she’s very dedicated to her cause; the ‘never at the expense of the mission’ line in ep 3 just states it out loud. her entire life has been dedicated to this cause. this is a good time to segue into the next section...

sylvie’s personality, character and flaws

she’s fuckin stabby.

despite only really being present for 4 out of the 6 episodes of the show, we manage to get a pretty good idea of sylvie’s personality right from the start thanks to episode 3 being largely a character study with both her and loki. she’s shown as a very competent and strong character - however, contrary to marvel’s guidebook on writing female characters, those aren’t personality traits. what we actually see of her is that she’s very confident, and has a tendency to be rude or dismissive of other people. episode 3 has a bunch of examples of this, but the easiest one to point to is the fireworks scene. after loki does something nice to cheer her up, something which visibly works, her response is to waive it away as ‘not bad’.

her coldness in this scene even after bonding with loki is likely due to her upbringing. sylvie spent the majority of her life, including her childhood, on the run, unable to form relationships with people who weren’t moments away from dying. it feels a bit redundant for me to point this out, but this is, as they say in the medical field, mega fucking traumatic. not only did sylvie not have the opportunity to form these kinds of connections, she couldn’t even develop the ability to form them. loki is a bandaid to cover a bullet hole in this regard, one she needs years to heal from. while she does bond with him to an extent, she is physically unable to trust him to the point where they can be considered close.

another thing we learn about sylvie is that she’s very violent - and that she enjoys it. being a character that grew up running from an organisation that wanted her dead, it makes sense for her first instinct to be confrontational. however, despite having to fight to survive, she visibly takes pleasure from fighting. this was brought up in an interview with sophia (that i am not going to link here, because tumblr is kind of a hellsite and i’m not in the mood for that today). here’s a nice extract instead.

“She's not trained like Loki is,” Di Martino continues. “She can't do some of the flourishes that he would, but she's figured out how to brawl. She's a street fighter and she loves it. That was a really great key to unlocking part of Sylvie for me, was how much she just loves a fight. She knows that she's either going to win, or if she isn't going to win, she'll survive. She's that damaged character who's dangerous because she knows she can survive.”

her tendency towards violence is actually a key part of sylvie’s character. this works as both a strength and a flaw. on the one hand, she’s able to survive scrapes most other characters wouldn’t, and she knows that. she’s not one to freeze in most (note: most) scenarios, because she knows what to expect. on the other hand, violence isn’t always the answer, and she’s very unlikely to consider any other option than a fight.

her enchantment abilities tie into this - they’re another weapon for her to use, and one she’s not afraid to call on. however, her eagerness to enchant people without hesitation puts her in a pretty bad place morally. her enchantment clearly leaves hunter c-20 traumatised, and yet she’s more than willing to enchant people for the sake of the mission. she’s also relatively dismissive of human sentient lives. an early example of this is in episode 2, where loki asks her if the person she had enchanted was dead, to which she responds with a casual ‘they usually survive’. additionally, she’s more than willing to fight the guards on the train in episode 3, despite them seeing her as a threat for completely understandable reasons.

in the case of the guards, her reasoning for placing such little value on their lives is likely that they’re about to die anyways. everyone on lamentis is doomed, so from her point of view, whether they die at her hands or at the hands of the moon from majora’s mask isn’t really important. however, c-20 is a different story. sylvie places next to no value on the lives of the tva’s workers, content to slaughter them en masse for the sake of her goal. this is despite her knowing that every one of the tva workers is a variant plucked from the sacred timeline. this sets up a weird sort of transactional nature in how sylvie views other people - to her, they’re less important than the mission, and she doesn’t hesitate to eliminate threats.

was this a long section? this was a long section. i would like to call back to the fact that this is not a sylki post for this next part. and also to praise anyone that got this far, because fucking hell, is this excessively long or what? who would have the time to write this out?

sylvie’s bond with loki

i want to go back to that whole thing about her relationship with loki. he’s the first person she’s really spoken to since she was a child who isn’t about to face imminent death. furthermore, despite their differences, they have quite a lot in common - enough to hit it off surprising well for two people who kind of want to kill each other. they’re able to relate on common ground like frigga, and even though they clash due to loki’s initial carelessness, they’re overall able to get along well enough aside from occasional bickering. the blanket scene from episode 5 is probably the best example of this. sylvie allows herself, albeit briefly, to be vulnerable around loki.

except, not really. one of the first things she does is tries to ensure he won’t betray her. i’ve seen somebody cite this before as proof that her fondness towards him isn’t real, and that she was planning on betraying him from the start, hence why it was on her mind. that’s definitely possible, but i think it’s far more likely that it’s just her difficulties connecting to people stopping her from feeling safe around him even as they share a nice moment. she really does seem to care about loki - an easy example of this is her asking how he is during episode 4 without being prompted. she’s just unable to properly process these kinds of feelings due to an incomprehensible amount of trauma. as loki puts it, she can’t trust.

and loki can’t be trusted. she knows - or at least, thinks she knows - his nature as a trickster and a villain. loki embodies a part of sylvie that she considers herself completely separate from; the tva-approved liar whose purpose is to bring out the best in others. while she does show him more decency than to treat him like that, at the end of the day, he represents something that makes her deeply uncomfortable, hence her rejection of the loki name. despite what they have in common, loki is an incredibly difficult person to trust, especially for somebody who has deep-rooted trust issues. so, this brings us onto...

who betrayed who?

so, sylvie and loki make it to kang’s castle. after all this time, she’s finally about to reach her life’s goal. she’s clearly nervous - this is out of her comfort zone, unlike most fights. loki reassures her, and they head in. they meet kang, learn the true nature of the tva, have the opportunity to kill him...

and loki stops her.

loki’s motivations are left ambiguous. the uncharitable interpretation is that he wants to rule the tva for himself, as per kang’s offer. he’s expressed such an interest to sylvie before. for the loki we know in avengers 1, this seems perfectly in character.

however, for the loki we’ve seen in the show, there’s a different option. he believes kang’s threat that there are multiple of him, and that killing him won’t solve anything. to him, he isn’t willing to risk unknown horrors for the sake of taking his revenge out on kang. this is the loki who offered diplomacy and guile to counteract sylvie’s brute force.

but sylvie, who can’t trust, assumes the worst.

to her, loki was the one who betrayed her. they had a plan - find whoever pulls the strings, and destroy them. to her, loki’s hesitation isn’t caution, but treachery. taking kang’s offer to rule the tva is exactly what she thinks she should’ve expected from the guy who hurts everybody who loves him. her fight or flight responses kick in, and she chooses the one she always chooses. loki’s attempts to reassure her fall on deaf ears, not just because she doesn’t want to trust him, but because she’s physically incapable of it. she makes the short-sighted decision of brute force, just like she did back on lamentis, because it’s all she’s ever known, and the cause she’s dedicated her life to.

from the outside, it looks like sylvie was the one who betrayed loki, but things look pretty different from where she’s standing.

this is why i take issue with people calling sylvie a ‘villain’ or questioning whether this was her plan for the start. in my opinion, her motivations line up pretty clearly as a creature of habit, one who panics at the first hint of smoke and pushes away the first person she’s been able to bond with for the sake of self-preservation. did she make the wrong decision? unquestionably - the effects of her actions will no doubt plague the multiverse (and the mcu, for us) for as long as they go unchecked. but she made the only decision she was capable of making, and that’s not villainous, just tragic.

conclusion

well, this is a kind of depressing way to finish this post. for what it’s worth, though, i don’t think sylvie is a doomed character. regardless of how brief it was, she did show a real connection with loki. just because something requires a lot of healing doesn’t make it impossible. this is why i like sylvie as a character so much; she’s deeply flawed and complex, but that complexity makes her interesting, and relatable. marvel has a long history of sexy lamps and supposed ‘tortured backstories’, but sylvie is the first time they paid attention to this with their character writing without having to give somebody a wholeass prequel movie. with loki confirmed to appear in multiverse of madness, i’m hoping we see more of sylvie - not as a villain, but as a hero who can overcome her past experiences and rise to better things.

or maybe another kang shows up and kills her immediately. who knows.

[carinyms]

I've scrolled through a lot of discourse on episode 4 of Loki and I need to talk about it

(good lord its a whole essay im sorry)

I gave myself a headache from crying while watching this. (I joined the Loki fandom post-IW so I’ve never had to see him die before while emotionally invested and boy!!! Is it doing things to my fragile psyche!!). But now I’m rehydrated and more stable and ready to party so let’s go

Right off the bat, I loved this episode — loved it loved it loved it. Silly, manic in-shock Loki is gone and shit is getting real. My thought while watching this was truly “wow this is my favorite episode so far” and damn am I in a minority with this opinion lol.

So here’s my perspective on some of the discourse flying around, and just general thoughts

On the whole ‘Narcissist’ thing:

IMO, Mobius saying this means nothing: he’s mad and he’s spouted lies at Loki to push his buttons before (see: every interaction they’ve had since episode 1).

Loki saying this to Sif-- well, Loki is and always has been an unreliable narrator on himself. The major theme of this show is that he doesn’t really know who he is, deep down, and he’s trying to figure it out. The TVA is taking advantage of this, and even though he’s trying to stay above it all throughout the series, he's still in a really impressionable spot and absorbing what others tell him about himself. (not to mention this scene is literal torture and he’s already proven that he’ll say whatever he needs to to get out of it.)

But he does admit one true thing when he says “It’s because I’m scared of being alone.” (And like wow okay same don’t mind my tears) but here’s a big brain idea!

Sif pulls him up and says ‘You are alone, and you always will be’, which is like, WOW that’s cruel after what he said, but it makes me ask wonder: Sif is sentient in this scene, but obviously it’s not really her. Who’s controlling her? And why is it so important for them to make sure Loki thinks he’s alone? I’d go as far as to wager that Sif never even said this to Loki, the big bad made this up. (he admits he forgot about this ever happening, I doubt he’d remember what she said.)

I think the nexus event on Lamentis that caused the branch was two Loki’s joining sides. Or, Loki no longer being alone. Loki insists while talking to Mobius that “she’s not my partner!” but she was, and they were partners from the moment they grabbed hands on Lamentis — right when the timeline broke off. I think Loki variants teaming up is the biggest threat to whoever is pulling the strings here — that’s why the post-credit scene is so significant. (Is Loki the only person who has multiple variants of himself who've escaped the TVA?)

And here’s where I’m gonna get salty--so I apologize but i need to rant about this-- but it’s seriously pissing me off that so many people are intentionally reading this as Loki/Sylvie and then being mad about it when that’s clearly not what’s happening and why is everyone acting like Mobius with one angry jealous brain cell and no critical thinking about the context of the characters.

If people ship it that’s chill, but for the people who are against it—it’s clearly supposed to be platonic, and it’s so upsetting that in the year of our lord 2021 we still can’t have a man and woman hold hands without people saying it’s proof they want to f*ck each other, like what in the misogyny??? STOP. This show was written by a bi woman and Tom the-most-emotionally-sensitive-man-on-this-planet Hiddleston — let them display an intimate loving friendship goddammit. This isn’t romance, this is Loki learning how to admit he cares for someone who cares for him in return — something he hasn’t experienced a whole lot of and clearly doesn’t know how to navigate.

(You have permission to personally come at me if it actually turns out to be romantic by the end of the show—but as of right now I will die on this hill.)

Him putting his hands on her shoulders to me was a clear indication he wanted to hug her, and I’d like to think he would have told her he cares about her, and that they can figure it out together. Because these are two characters who’ve never had anyone else to rely on and trust, and for the first time they’re not alone.

And I have to think about what prompted this from Loki. He just lost Mobius the moment after he called him friend. The way I see it, he’s just realized the true gravity of what they’re up against, and Loki is suddenly very afraid of losing Sylvie too before he tells her cares about her, of dying truly alone because he never told anyone what they meant to him. (Don’t think about this in the context of him also having watched his entire family die knowing he never told Frigga or Thor how much he loved them either don’t think about it—) He’s realized, finally, that he has doesn’t have to be alone, that he can choose to be close to people and have friends. And god it’s so heartbreaking that he never got to hug her or have that moment with her. I really hope they get that in the end. I hope he gets it with Mobius. I hope they have a group hug. I'm upset again.

Okay, deep breath, ANYWAY.

Hopefully this didn’t come off as attacking anyone else’s opinions.

Personally, I love this character so much, I’m just so happy to be seeing him in his own storyline that they can’t go wrong here. Objectively I think the production is amazing, and personally I love they way Loki’s character has been explored so far. (Yea yea, was I HOPING that the bad-memory loop would morph into Sanctuary and Thanos and like a full exploration of his true worst memories? Yes but let’s be honest my whump needs will never be met in canon and I have to accept that lol.)

Honestly I left all my own meta about this character at the door when the series started, because for me the opinions I’ve formed from the hundreds of (amazing) fics and meta I’ve read on this character and what’s true in canon are basically inseparable at this point, and no portrayal is going to live up to the way Loki exists in my head. Canon Loki and fic Loki are two different characters and I can enjoy both at the same time :) I’ve just loved seeing the character get given the different dimensions he deserves, and written by people who care about his story.

Also, it’s not over! If he was dead and this was it I’d be very upset, but this is the rock bottom of the storyline, and I think the whole next two episodes will be the build back up. I trust it’s gonna be worth it. SO hyped for flaming sword Loki. I would die for Sylvie, but I’m excited to see him on his own again.

My current most pressing questions are:

-what was the fallout of Sylvie’s bombing the timeline? (Have we seen that yet, am I just dumb and missing something?)

-Obviously, who’s behind it all? (Kang? Is there a head honcho Very Evil Loki at the top?)

-How much does Ravonna actually know, and to what extent is she just a pawn too? She asked Sylvie to prune her— she’s probably also been duped here.

-Is everything we learned about the sacred timeline BS? How much of what the TVA workers believe is real?

-my favorite theory so far is that the war of the timelines miss minutes talks about hasn’t actually happened yet, maybe making setting that into motion is the true endgame, leading into Multiverse of Madness?

(Side note: holy HELL im so excited for this soundtrack to drop on Spotify. It’s SO AMAZING I had CHILLS in the end credits.)

Open invitation to discuss anything with me if you feel inclined! :)

[mugasofer]

It seems like many, perhaps most, people historically believed in some immanent apocalypse.

Many philosophies claim that the world is passing into a degenerate age of chaos (Ages of Man, Kali Yuga, life-cycle of civilisation), or divine conflict will shortly spill over & destroy the Earth (Ragnorok, Revelations, Zoroastrian Frashokereti), or that the natural forces sustaining us must be transient.

Yet few panic or do anything. What anyone does "do about it" is often symbolic & self-admittedly unlikely to do much.

Maybe humans evolved not to care, to avoid being manipulated?

Many cults make similar claims, and do uproot their lives around them. Even very rarely committing mass suicide or terror attacks etc on occasion. But cults exist that don't make such claims, so it may not be the mechanism they use to control, or at most a minor one. "This is about the fate of the whole world, nothing can be more important than that, so shut up" may work as as a thought terminating cliche, but it doesn't seem to work that strongly, and there are many at least equally effective ones.

Some large scale orgs do exist that seem to take their eschatology "seriously". The Aztecs committed atrocities trying to hold off apocalypse, ISIS trying to cause it. Arguably some Communist or even fascist groups count, depending on your definition of apocalypse.

But even then, one can argue their actions are not radically different from non-apocalypse-motivated ones - e.g. the Aztecs mass-executed less per capita than the UK did at times & some historians view them as more about displaying authority.

I'm thinking about this because of two secular eschatologies - climate apocalypse and the Singularity.

My view on climate change, which as far as I can tell is the scientific consensus, is that it is real and bad but by no means apocalyptic. We're talking incremental increases in storms, droughts, floods etc, all of which are terrible, but none of which remotely threaten human civilisation. E.g. according to the first Google result, the sea is set to rise by 1 decimeter by 2100 in a "high emissions scenario", not to rise by tens or hundreds of meters and consume all coastal nations as I was taught as a child. Some more drastic projections suggest that the sea might rise by as much as two or three meters in the worst case scenario.

It really creeps me out when I hear people who confess to believe that human civilisation, the human species, or even all life on Earth is most likely going to be destroyed soon by climate change. The most recent example, which prompted this post, was the Call of Cthulhu podcast I was listening to casually suggesting that it might be a good idea to summon an Elder God of ice and snow to combat climate change as the "lesser existential risk", perhaps by sacrificing "climate skeptics" to it. It's incredibly jarring for me to realise that the guys I've been listening to casually chatting about RPGs think they live in a world that will shortly be ended by the greed of it's rulers. But this idea is everywhere. Discussions of existential risks from e.g. pandemics inevitably attract people arguing that the real existential risk is climate change. A major anti-global-warming protest movement, Extinction Rebellion, is literally named after the idea that they're fighting against their own extinction. Viral Tumblr posts talk about how the fear of knowing that the world is probably going to be destroyed soon by climate change and fascism is crippling their mental health, and they have no idea how to deal with it because it's all so real.

But it's not. It's not real.

Well, I can't claim that political science is accurate enough for me to definitively say that fascism isn't going to take over, but I can say that climate science is fairly accurate and it predicts that the world is definitely not about to end in fire or in flood.

(There are valid arguments that climate change or other environmental issues might precipitate wars, which could turn apocalyptic due to nuclear weapons; or that we might potentially encounter a black swan event due to our poor understanding of the ecosystem and climate-feedback systems. But these are very different, as they're self-admittedly "just" small risks to the world.)

And I get the impression that a lot of people with more realistic views about climate change deliberately pander to this, deliberately encouraging people to believe that they're going to die because it puts them on the "right side of the issue". The MCU's Loki, for instance, recently casually brought up a "climate apocalypse" in 2050, which many viewers took as meaning the world ending. Technically, the show uses a broad definition of "apocalypse" - Pompeii is given as another example - and it kind of seems like maybe all they meant was natural disasters encouraged by climate change, totally defensible. But I still felt kinda mad about it, that they're deliberately pandering to an idea which they hopefully know is false and which is causing incredible anxiety in people. I remember when Greta Thurnberg was a big deal, I read through her speeches to Extinction Rebellion, and if you parsed them closely it seemed like she actually did have a somewhat realistic understanding of what climate change is. But she would never come out and say it, it was all vague implications of doom, which she was happily giving to a rally called "Extinction Rebellion" filled with speakers who were explicitly stating, not just coyly implying, that this was a fight for humanity's survival against all the great powers of the world.

But maybe there's nothing wrong with that. I despise lying, but as I've been rambling about, this is a very common lie that most people somehow seem unaffected by. Maybe the viral tumblr posts are wrong about the source of their anxiety; maybe it's internal/neurochemical and they world just have picked some other topic to project their anxieties on if this particular apocalypse wasn't available. Maybe this isn't a particularly harmful lie, and it's hypocritical of me to be shocked by those who believe it.

Incidentally, I believe the world is probably going to end within the next fifty years.

Intellectually, I find the arguments that superhuman AI will destroy the world pretty undeniable. Sure, forecasting the path of future technology is inherently unreliable. But the existence of human brains, some of which are quite smart, proves pretty conclusively it's possible to get lumps of matter to think - and human brains are designed to run on the tiny amounts of energy they can get by scavenging plants and the occasional scraps of meat in the wilderness as fuel, with chemical signals that propagate at around the speed of sound (much slower than electronic ones), with only the data they can get from input devices they carry around with them, and which break down irrevocably after a few decades. And while we cannot necessarily extrapolate from the history of progress in both computer hardware and AI, that progress is incredibly impressive, and there's no particular reason to believe it will fortuitously stop right before we manufacture enough rope to hang ourselves.

Right now, at time of writing, we have neural nets that can write basic code, appear to scale linearly in effectiveness with the available hardware with no signs that we're reaching their limit, and have not yet been applied at the current limits of available hardware let alone what will be available in a few years. They absorb information like a sponge at a vastly superhuman speed and scale, allowing them to be trained in days or hours rather than the years or decades humans require. They are already human-level or massively superhuman at many tasks, and are capable of many things I would have confidently told you a few years ago were probably impossible without human-level intelligence, like the crazy shit AI dungeon is capable of. People are actively working on scaling them up so that they can work on and improve the sort of code they are made from. And we have no ability to tell what they're thinking or control them without a ton of trial and error.

If you follow this blog, you're probably familiar with all the above arguments for why we're probably very close to getting clobbered by superhuman AI, and many more, as well as all the standard counter-arguments and the counter-arguments to those counter arguments.

(Note: I do take some comfort in God, but even if my faith were so rock solid that I would cheerfully bet the world on it - which it's not - there's no real reason why our purpose in God's plan couldn't be to destroy ourselves or be destroyed as an object lesson to some other, more important civilization. There's ample precedent.)

Here's the thing: I'm not doing anything about it, unless you count occasionally, casually talking about it with people online. I'm not even donating to help any of the terrifyingly-few people who are trying to do something about it. Part of why I'm not contributing is, frankly, I don't have a clue what to do, nor do I have much confidence in any of the stuff people are currently doing (although I bloody well hope some of it works.)

And yet I don't actually feel that scared.

I feel more of a visceral chill reading about the nuclear close calls that almost destroyed the world in the recent past than thinking about the stuff that has a serious chance of doing so in a few decades. I'm a neurotic mess, and yet what is objectively the most terrifying thing on my radar does not actually seem to contribute to my neurosis.