#i’ve relatively figured out my work schedule now

[bronzebtch]

dynamics call ! 💛 — please do hit the heart if you’d like to chat about a potential dynamic between our muses ( enemies, likely or unlikely allies, familial, lovers etc ) including any of my older mutuals with whom conversations of old may have tapered off and you’d like to re-ignite the interest !

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Four

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: IT'S TAKEN A WHILE BUT IT'S HAPPENING, MATTY AND MOUSE ARE SO CLOSE. Hi:) Hope you enjoy this part, finally throwing them into the same building!! Lot's happening in this one!

Warnings: Mentions of rehab, struggles around body image

Masterlist

🐭 @/petitesouris 13m Early start, hoping it's a good session today!

The next week rolled around slowly and it had been one of the most agonising waits of my life. 

I’d constantly been emailing with the Primary Talent Team for the last few days, back and forth, just trying to work out which date and time would best fit both our schedules. It’d been gruelling. And the entire exchange would have gone a whole lot easier if it hadn't been for the fact that it had all been centred around them and based on their terms and conditions. Not forgetting the mile long list of Do’s and Don'ts they had also attached to their most recent email, which had been oh so fucking thrilling.

To be honest, I might not have minded it if my whole life had only revolved around the radio show. But as proud of it as I was, and as incredibly hard as both Adi and I constantly worked, I had other priorities that took precedence. I loved the show with all my heart but it could never be my entire life. Not with Teddy waiting for me back home at the end of each day, relying on me alone to raise and feed and clothe him.

Not that Healy’s management could comprehend that, or the fact that I had a schedule and a set routine. They didn't know when to stop and pushed and pushed to get what they wanted. And I could only fight back so much. Which meant that I’d ended up dropping Teddy off at Finn’s place a whole two hours earlier than usual just so that Adi and I could prep for the dated interview.

So, with that in mind, it was safe to say that I wasn't in the perkiest of moods when Adi bounded breathlessly into the studio that morning, a lot later than expected.

"I know, I know, I'm late!" Adi immediately squawked as she hurried on over, the door behind her slamming shut in her wake. "But I have good reason! I hardly slept last night, too excited for all of this!" She added as she threw her knitted tote bag down in its customary corner, the one I’d brought her the birthday last, and tossed her phone and throng of keys down with a clatter onto her paper-filled desk.

I rolled my eyes, but was unable to negotiate with the amused smile that pulled at the corners of my mouth. “Still had time to post a quick photo though. Don't think I didn't see it, Adeline- you tagged the show."

Adi’s smile was blinding when she spun around to meet me, brown eyes wild and full of mirth.

“Figured since you still haven't a clue about how Instagram works that you just wouldn't see it, my love!" She retorted whilst throwing herself down into my desk chair and kicking her Doc clad feet up onto the table. She shot me a smug smirk. 

“Cow. And oi, I’ll have you know I’ve caught on since Circa ‘18!” I defended, but relented upon seeing Adi’s arched brow. “Fine, I had Finn explain it all to me one night after a bottle of wine. But the point still stands.”

Adi’s raucous laughter bounced around the loft and I could only roll my eyes once more before huffing. 2018 had been a rough year for many, but mostly me, seeing as I’d accidentally posted a quick shot of me in the tub for the group chat to my story, exposing a little more than I’d like to our show’s following.

Adi stared back at me in disbelief, loosening the bun of unruly curls that had been strung together by a silk bandana, which also seemed to match the colour of the very short shorts she was wearing.

"He'd had to have been a saint in another life to have dealt with an indisposed you for that long."

I scoffed at that, but couldn't help my own trickle of laughter. “I sent Teddy round to his the next day with a box of chocolates- you know, those fancy ones he’s always banging on about?” Adi hummed her assent. “Felt proper bad about it all. Took him ages to teach me how to stop going Live.”

We both laughed.

“Waste of time that was, should’ve just brought the chocolates here! Knowing Finn, he only helped ‘cause he found the entire sodding thing hilarious.” Adi supplied, pulling a pack of chewing gum free from her jacket pocket.

Snorting faintly, I denied her offering of a piece with a wave of my hand, and went back to fidgeting with my phone, distracting myself again from my plume of thoughts. I spun the device round and round, slowly enough so that each edge made contact with the wooden desktop. 

“You alright there, babe?” Adi queried after a while, and I glanced over to see her eyes now trailing the movement. “Ted doing alright?” 

I stilled and then hummed, watching as she turned and went about fumbling her way through an array of wires that sat on my desk, most of which were already hooked up to the monitors. It was a task Adi did most mornings, even when I’d already ticked it off the list, ever the perfectionist, wanting to double check that nothing would go wrong with the day's show.

“Oh yeah, all’s fine. Teds is already obsessing over Halloween, ranting about what costume he wants to get this year. But August has only just passed, Ads.” I groaned, thinking back to the previous evening when Teddy had spent a good portion of his bath time rambling on about what every other kid in his class was going to be.

Adi peered back at me, the extremity of the grin she wore wrinkling the corners of her eyes. “Just kids, ain't it? We were the same, you'll miss it in a couple of years.”

I supposed she was right, but only because I didn’t have much of an experience to look back on. Halloween had just been me and mum in the woods up by the creek, collecting flowers and eucalyptus for the wreaths we’d make, then reading old stories by the fire.

“Don't remind me, please. I don't want him getting any bigger!” I sighed all too dramatically before standing to head on over towards the printer, picking up everything I’d sent off earlier from out the tray.

“It's the way of life, babe. So, when do you reckon Teds will end up towering over you?”

Adi simply chuckled when I stuck a finger up at her from over my shoulder, not even wanting to pay that idea any thought at all. Teddy was my baby, I couldn’t picture him all grown up.

“I should mention that I saw your tweet, by the way. Guessing you're nervous for today?” Adi added after, her tone a little softer than normal, catching me off guard enough that I actually stilled in place before I turned to face her.

“And you’re not?"

Adi’s mouth quirked upwards when she shook her head, dark ringlets moving with it.

“Why would I be? This is fucking huge for us, M! The exposure that we'll receive alone could really give us the big break we've been searching for- I honestly can't even begin to believe it.”

I gnawed on my bottom lip as I lingered over her words, then pushed back the thought of me having been the one to deal with the stress that was Healy’s management team to the back of my mind. Adi didn’t deserve that, I’d always been the one to deal with all the crap happening behind the scenes, and besides, Adi had a right to be excited. I only wished that I had the ability to join in on it.

“I just don't want to start up any more unnecessary drama, Ads.”

Drama was the very last thing I wanted, knowing that this whole thing with Healy could easily blow up in our faces if we didn’t go about it the right way. And if shit actually does end up hitting the metaphorical fan, then… I wasn't sure I'd be fit enough to handle it. Handle the backlash that would surely follow and affect the show, the only source of income I had. And without it, both Teddy and I would be royally fucked.

Apparently my lack of response had Adi rolling her eyes, adding an extra flare of dramatics to it by flicking my ear as she passed me by. “Don’t be such a worrier, babe. It’ll all work out, always does with us, don’t it? Besides, how can it not when I have a face as gorgeous as this?”

She winked, flashing me her famous grin.

“Tart.”

“Slag.” Adi easily countered.

A breathy chuckle escaped me and I shook my head before returning to the wad of papers I’d been rifling through. “Sorry to disappoint, but it’s the radio, babe. No one will be seeing that gorgeous face of yours, or the way your arse is currently hanging out of those shorts.”

Adi cut her eyes at me from across the room, but they gleamed under the studio’s lights. “Don’t be jealous. We both know you love it.”

“Jealous? I’m a mum!”

“A fit one.”

A laugh bubbled up out of my throat at that and I couldn't find the energy to deny it, so I just shook my head.

“Anyway, you’re wrong.” And at my confused look, Adi continued on, grinning wickedly as she waved around one of the large devices she’d since picked up and cradled in her hand. “We are working with the camera’s today. Sort of why I'm here setting them all up. See?”

“Wait, we’re filming?” I gawked, and my eyes felt like they were just about ready to bulge out of my head as I sat up further to shake my head at her. Mouth already dry. “Non. No, Adi. No one ever mentioned that! I can’t.”

“They called yesterday demanding it. Just as you left to pick up Teds- it must've slipped my mind. I'm so sorry, hun.” Adi revealed sheepishly, her face scrunched up in an apologetic wince as the camera rig dropped to her hip. “But don't worry, yeah? I promise it'll all be sound and then we'll be well on our way to becoming the UK's biggest radio show!”

I reverted back to worrying at my bottom lip, chewing on it as though I hadn't eaten for days whilst I tapped an anxious rhythm into the arm of my chair. I couldn’t do the cameras, not today at least.

“Trust me, Mouse. It’ll be alright. You’ve done it before and you can do it again. No one will say a thing.”

I wished I could fucking believe her.

***

The Sun @/Thesun 16m Matty Healy spotted out in London today! The singer has been relatively quiet for the past few days- somewhat strange for the wayward frontman- but will this all change now that he's been seen? (Link) H @/user1 18m um, what? he’s where?? Adi @/AdelineWells_ 19m Long day ahead but we're very excited for today's show! Big surprises in store for you lot, so who's looking forward to it?? @/petitesouris @/Mouseonamic Indie @/user2 21m @/AdelineWells_ AHHH hope it's another Adi's All-Knowing segment!! Urmymedicine @/user3 23m Did anyone else see Jamie’s ig post?? He says to keep an eye out- AN EYE OUT FOR WHAT?? Talk! @/user4 11m I feel like I've been hit by an unnecessary amount of information

***

Matty’s bleary stare made an attempt to focus on the blurring buildings that passed them by as the car cut through the paved streets of London. Grey just melting into another varied shade of grey.

It was still far too bright for the beginning of September, the remaining weeks of summer only just tittering away now, and Matty couldn't help the scowl that had long since settled into his hollow features. 

One of the very few things he liked about the city was the fact that it was almost sure to be gloomy during the colder months. But it seemed as though the sun was shining a little brighter today, much to his chagrin.

A dull pain throbbed at either side of his temples, it’d been there since he’d been forced awake, and so he'd had to wind the window all the way down as soon as they'd set off to keep the nausea at bay. He silently regretted not turning in early last night, but it couldn't have been helped. It was hard to stay asleep without his usual nightcap, and even then, it was harder to dismiss the memories that plagued his mind without downing half a bottle of something or other.

A frigid wash of air wound its way down his throat as he took a long breath, his mind slowing a tad as the afternoon breeze trickled across his skin. But soon enough Matty’s calm was broken and his attention was then caught by Jamie, who sounded just as thwart as he felt.

“You even listening to me, mate?”

Jamie’s undeterred voice filtered through the back of the car, a short lived sigh following in its wake.

Matty merely rolled his eyes from behind his darkened sunglasses and proceeded to slump further in his seat, lolling his head to the side so that his focus was now within the car instead of on the distractions of the outside world.

His gaze trailed its way across the dark leather seats and blacked out windows before it finally ended up landing on his manager, who was kitted up in one of his many sharp shirts and a pair of formal fitting trousers. A right snazzy twat.

Matty could appreciate their pattern though, Jamie hardly ever ventured too far into the world of fashion, so the burgundy tartan was a sight to behold.

He soon fixed Jamie with an apathetic stare from across the backseat, fingers already itching for a fag, or maybe something stronger. He couldn’t be arsed with the mindless bother he’d been sent to complete today, really didn’t want to be dealing with a roomful of people that were there to assault him with an extensive range of hard-hitting questions, or have any more unwanted cameras shoved in his face in truth. 

But here he was, doing it.

Following orders because that was what it took to be a puppet. He was too tired to be tugging on any strings today though, simply wanted to get the afternoon over and done with, hopefully without any repercussions, so that he could fall back into bed.

“Matty, mate.” Jamie huffed, his face having fallen into a pitiful expression that Matty didn’t quite like looking at, but couldn’t seem to look away from. 

For a while, he'd been fearful that he'd pushed his luck all too far with Jamie, as well as the rest of the band too he supposed. But it seemed as though the guy had a thing for redemption, because he was trying his fucking hardest to annoy Matty into growing the fuck up.

“Look. I know you don't like this anymore than I do, but it's your job, mate. You ain’t got much of a choice here. But think of it this way, right. It's better you being here, doing this, than drowning away in your own fucking sorrows- thought you'd given up drinking since rehab, anyway.”

Matty’s jaw clenched involuntarily at the reminder. Rehab. What was it with everyone and always bringing it up? He’d been too fucking gone on painkillers to have given a second thought to the little amount of alcohol that particular shit show had provided. Could hardly call it a rehabilitation centre either, not when you were constantly surrounded by other abusers who were practically there on a getaway, just finding other means to entertain themselves with.

Jamie broke the silence just as Matty’s mind began to spiral, and Matty couldn’t help but be rather thankful for it.

“You just gonna sit there then?” Jamie snorted, obviously trying to fill the tense quiet now, “Normally you’d have told me to piss off by now.”

“Piss off.” Matty murmured, turning his focus back to the window.

The car seemed to be slowing down now and Matty furrowed his brow when they came to a gentle halt outside a block of buildings.

“Where are we?”

“Outskirts of Islington, I think. Not too far from the studio.”

Matty didn't get much of a chance to reply- not that he'd had one, Islington never did manage to bring up the most fondest of memories with him- because Jamie had all but jumped at the chance to exit the vehicle, opening up the sliding backdoor to escape into the stream of daylight.

With a tired sigh, Matty ran a hand through his mussed hair before he made a move to join his manager, clicking his neck slightly as the bottoms of his leather, heeled boots clacked against the cobbled pavement.

There was the usual musty scent that lingered throughout the city as he took a breath, but the smell of petrol was somewhat stronger here. Hardly anyone was wandering down the backstreet they had pulled into though, and those that did didn't linger too long on either him or the extravagant hired car that he'd been sanctioned with since having been struck with yet another driving ban.

Craning his head up, Matty could tell that there wasn't much to the building they were standing outside of. A commercial unit, three stories or so. Its brick exterior worn and dotted with timber sash windows. It was quaint enough, but not what he was used to when it came to things like this.

"Alright. A quick debrief before we go in." Jamie started, already fixing the faint creases in his otherwise pristine shirt, caused from where he’d been sat working in the backseat. “This is the same show that you had a bit of a spat with earlier this week, alright? So you'll be meeting the same girl that spoke out about your, um… Well, your image and publicity, and all that crap, generally speaking."

Jamie’s eyes flitted around them before he was back to typing away on his phone again. Fucking thing was practically attached to his hand, made Matty wonder how the hell he managed a wank.

But then he caught onto that last bit of his sentence and furrowed his brows, throwing Jamie another quick glance, not quite comprehending.

“Why we even here then? Thought your lot had a right mare dealing with all that.”

Jamie had the decency to look a tad bit sheepish as he started to lead them over towards one of the heavy-duty doors that adorned each of the surrounding units.

“They think that by doing this, it will clear up any allegations. They just want you to right your wrongs, I ‘spose. Make it known that what went down was just a 'misunderstanding' of sorts.”

“Right my? For fucks sake, Jamie! I was shitfaced! And if I remember fucking rightly, this supposed presenter spoke some actual truth. How the fuck am I meant to deny that and clear this whole fucking mess up?"

Matty was quite close to fuming now. It was always the same thing, again and again. The lies were never ending. So much so that he could hardly even recognise them from the truth anymore, everything had seemed to mould into one.

Jamie had since paused, his hand resting on the door's brass handle whilst he gave Matty the best smile he could possibly muster up. "Matty, mate, I'm sorry. Listen, I thought I could-"

Matty cut him off with a throaty scoff.

"Don't make out you're sorry. Not when you're just here ‘to do your job’. The only thing you're sorry for is the fact that you've got to be here at all, to suffer through all this shit with me and put up with the added drama. Just do me a fucking favour and keep your half-arsed apologies to yourself, mate."

Jamie looked genuinely taken back by his vicious rant for once, and somewhat hurt too, but Matty paid it no mind. He knew where to hit where it hurt, and he often didn’t stop until he tasted blood. The band knew that better than most.

"You act like you're here for me, when all you really care about is goin’ by the book and following the rules. Fucking grow a pair and apologise to me when there's an actual ounce of sympathy behind it." He spat back, teeth grinding as he clenched his jaw, glowering at the man standing before him. 

Matty shoved past his startled manager before he could linger on his words and pushed his way through the door. Fisted hands already making their way into his pockets as his nails dug crescent shaped moons into his palms in a desperate attempt to take the edge off of his vibrating anger.

"Ah, good, you're already here then! Thought we'd heard voices!" A cheerful lilt called out just as Matty rounded the short hallway, Jamie hot on his tail, and came face to face with a girl, who was leaning heavily against the metal rail lining the steep stairwell. 

Matty winced at the brashness of her greeting, eyes narrowing behind his sunglasses at the very force of her presence. She had a mane of thick curls bundled atop her head, lips lined red and lashes winged with a heavy liner. She was definitely younger than him, but not by much, and he could only guess as he approached her, that she stood at a similar height to him too when she wasn't prancing about on metal staircases. 

His fingertips trailed across the paperboard carton he had stowed away in his jacket pocket as Jamie hurried on over to meet the woman- a beaming smile now replacing his previously dejected look. Matty bit into his cheek at the sight of it.

"Yeah, sorry if we're late! Hey, it's great to meet you, I'm Jamie and this is obviously Matty." Jamie greeted with an incessant smile Matty couldn't bring himself to look at, before his manager was gesturing towards him- the disgruntled singer he was always stuck babysitting- and then reaching out a hand.

"Adeline, but my mates call me Adi." The girl, Adi, chirped as she took Jamie’s palm in her own, her eyes flitting towards Matty long enough to get a good once over. A gesture Matty returned. "It's great to have you both here."

She wore a grin so large it practically surpassed the honey brown eyes that brightened her face. Her teeth were white, if not a little crooked, and the force of her smile showed off the metal piercing that sat against her front teeth.

"We're honestly really excited to have you on the show! We'll have a proper laugh and just chill, so there's no pressure or anything. Mouse is upstairs, by the way. Still have to set up the final bits and bobs." Adi added, her enthusiasm somehow never faltering. "You'll love her! She's the main man round here, the one who started up the show and all that. You'll be speaking to her once we begin, but depending on how everything goes I'm hoping to join the two of you at some point."

Matty merely hummed in reply, which earned him a slight jab to the ribs from Jamie, one he tried not to lash out at. And Adi’s eyes slitted a tad as she followed the gesture, though Matty noted she gathered herself rather quickly.

"So, is that all of you then? No one else to meet?" Jamie wondered politely and Adi chuckled in retort as she began to lead them up the shifting staircase, giving them both an eyeful of her long legs.

"Nah, you're in the clear. It's just the two of us running things around here."

Matty worked his jaw at her response, whilst the sound of his boots hitting each metal stair reverberated around them.

"And that works?" He couldn't stop himself from asking.

Adi's head snapped back to find him, eyes peering over her shoulder as she rounded the first small landing and started on the next set of stairs.

"Mouse was on her own for a long while before I came along. We cope fine on our own though. We might not be as big as some other radio shows at the moment, but we've got a good relationship that works well within this industry. She can be stubborn, whilst I can be pushy, and even when we butt heads over things, we're able to make up in the end for the sake of the show. I don't know how it would work, throwing someone else into the mix."

Matty gave her a curt nod.

"So, Mouse?" Jamie questioned just as they bypassed the second floor, continuing up the staircase. Matty could hear the curiosity that lined his voice.

Adi flashed them another grin. "Mouse. It's what she goes by."

"Oh?" Jamie prodded, prompting her even further. He had a right thing for nicknames, loved hearing the stories behind them or something. 

"Don't know how it came about, in all honesty. You'll have to ask. But it's been her pseudonym ever since she started as a kid."

Matty’s ears perked up upon hearing that, but it was Jamie who quizzed her.

"She's been doing this since she was a kid?"

"Technically. But no, it started out as a Twitter account, just her venting her thoughts and opinions on the music she loved. And trust me, teenage Mouse was just as cut throat and sarcastic as she is now- maybe even more so- but people loved it, still do. The idea for the radio show came about a couple years later, and that was that."

Adi stopped talking just as they reached the very top. The staircase had led them straight into an open plan room, where a large leather sofa separated the sitting area from the tiny kitchenette in the far back corner, and where half of the living space had been overtaken by a recording booth.

Matty blinked. It wasn't at all what he had been expecting.

"God, this is insane." Jamie suddenly crowed from beside him and Matty followed his manager’s wide eyed gaze to where a skylight had been fitted overhead, giving them a clear view of the bright blue skies they'd just escaped from.

"I know." Adi spoke through a breathy exhale, her eyes twinkling as she grinned up at the oversized window. "It was what sold us on the place, honestly. That, and the access we have to the roof."

She gestured over towards the closest window to the stairs then and Matty found a fire exit hatch sat just on the outside of it.

"Don't think the other tenants renting out the spaces below even know about it. Well that, or we've just been lucky enough to never to catch one another up there." She chuckled and Jamie joined her. 

Matty’s hand tightened around his pack of cigarettes, eyes lingering on the hatch. But before he could ask if he could get a quick look at it, Adi was waltzing her way across the room and over towards the kitchen. 

She waved them closer and gestured towards two sofas and a vintage looking armchair that should have looked somewhat out of place, if it hadn't been for the rest of the mismatched furniture that littered the space. From the mint green fridge shelving a chaotic range of mugs, to the wearing Victorian coffee table, which was hilariously similar to the one Matty’s grandmother had preened over whenever guests had gone to visit.

"Tea, coffee?" Adi asked and Matty dipped his head as he took a perch on the edge of an armchair facing the tele box. It looked well over two decades old and he questioned the last time he'd seen one that'd had a DVD player built into it.

"Coffee. Black."

Adi raised an amused brow but didn't comment, looking towards Jamie. "And you, Glasses?"

Jamie only chuckled at the name referring to the thick rimmed frames he often wore. "Tea, please. Milk, two sugars."

"Be with you in just a sec!" Adi winked in reply and pulled four mugs down from the fridge.

"Cheers." Jamie thanked her, smiling all the while, before a look of remembrance crossed his face. "So where's this famous Mouse of yours then?"

And as though someone had answered him, Matty looked up to find the door to the recording booth opening and watched as someone stepped out to join them.

[neil-gaiman]

I was a teenager when I found Death of the endless. A few years after “A Game of You.” probably sometime near or at the time the “The Time of Your Life” collected version came out. I didn’t have a ton of money but you’d better believe that what I did have went directly to those books. 

Later, I’d figure out how to afford a few collectables. I think somewhere I even have the first “Action Figure” of the character. 

I haven’t exactly fallen out of love with comics, but I’m now a decades older, married with two children-person, who has significantly less time and attention for anything these days. Video games are often easier escapes from reality, though usually less rewarding. In short, I haven’t touched my longboxes in a while. 

About 8 years or so ago we adopted our second dog, a beautiful Chocolate Lab. 

Fitting that his name was Buddy, we wanted someone to help keep our other dog company. At the shelter, we were waiting to see some dogs, when one of my kids asked to pet a dog that was waiting to be placed in a shelter room. He’d just been dropped off, the shelter said “by an older couple who said they just couldn’t keep up anymore.”

My kid had barely touched his head when he leaned against her with full adoration and trust. I’m not sure if he hadn’t gotten much affection in a while, or just fell in love. With us, he was always very affectionate. At 9 years old already, we knew that our time with him was relatively limited, but there was absolutely no question from that moment that he was going to come home with us.

A regular fixture in the lives of my family, including my kids and my dogs, my mother adored Buddy. My mom had always loved dogs, but hadn’t been able to keep one for the past few years in her apartment. But she would come over daily, and spend hours with Buddy, just slowly stroking his fur and chatting with him about his day. 

In 2020, when my mother passed away, and she no longer showed up at our door, Buddy noticed. He would look for her. He missed his friend. He did his best, as a dog, to console us as we wept, resting his head in our laps, putting his paw on our knees. 

Today was Buddy’s last day with us.  For the past few weeks, his health had been in steady decline. I did the hardest thing I’ve had to do yet, and scheduled an appointment to let him go peacefully. He was so well behaved, he gave no trouble to the vet, and he passed away resting his head on my legs.

Because the universe works the way that it does, between waking up today, and Buddy’s appointment, I found myself with several hours to spend. Maybe because of the recent new about the Sandman show, or something less knowable, I remembered that I had those comics. 

I knew right where they were. 

And so, I spent my morning with Buddy’s head in my lap, gently stroking his head, reading comics, and dreaming of a friendly person, who loves everyone, even the creepy and weird ones. Someone who would make sure that Buddy wasn’t scared or lonely. Someone that could make sure he knew he was loved. Someone who would lead him to where my Mom would be waiting for him to ask him how his day was. And for a little while, I was very happy.  Thank you.

That made me very sad, and made my day at the same time. I'm glad you wrote it. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you.

[cocogrrrl]

four times kyle says he loves you, one time he actually does say it

kyle's not the biggest romantic in the world, but sometimes he unintentionally is as well.

kyle broflovski x gn!reader no cws wc: 1183

an: tooth-rottingly sweet! i have like four 3k+ word fics in my drafts right now so stay tuned for that if you're interested!

One.

Often, you’ll find yourself in bed at night alone. In the morning, you’ll feel the lack of warmth as well. Needless to say, your boyfriend, Kyle, had a hectic schedule. 

You try to stay up and wait for him. Sometimes, he does come, but rather late. Most of the time, however, you end up falling asleep first. 

You understood why, though. He wanted to work extra hours for extra pay to have some money to support himself, his interests, and your place. I mean, you did work too, but Kyle was rather nervous about having inadequate money. You tried to convince him that you two were alright, but he decided against that.

Recently, things were a little more different. You found him coming home earlier than usual and leaving work a little later. You were grateful, for sure, but what was going on?

“Hey, Kyle?” You called, both of you in bed. He hummed in response, turning his head to look at you. “I’ve noticed you’ve been going home early and leaving for work a lot later than usual. Did you get a promotion or something? Sorry if you told me, I may have forgotten…” You scratched the back of your neck, chuckling.

“Oh, I didn’t get promoted or anything,” he shuffled closer to you, giving you a peck on the cheek that sent tingles through your skull. “I just thought you were right. I shouldn’t be working myself up over nothing, you know?”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” you said, your eyebrows scrunched up as you were visibly upset since you thought you hurt his feelings. “I was just worried you were overworking yourself.”

He chuckled at your kindness. “I mean that too, but don’t worry, love,” he whispered, pulling you by the chin and nudging his nose with yours. “Above all, I missed spending time with you.”

Two.

You were snuggled up against Kyle, your head on his shoulder as you both indulged in your favorite activity—watching shitty movies and laughing at how shitty they are.

Currently, you two were watching a horrible, low-budget remake of Kung Fu Panda. As your mind was being bored by the eye-numbing movie, you didn’t notice your body suddenly being pulled.

Before you could even process it, your lips were on Kyle’s. You were caught off guard, so you caught yourself holding onto him. The kiss was relatively short, though, but you two could feel the smiles on each others��� lips.

When you both pulled away, you asked, “What was that for?” You chuckled.

“Nothing, I just desperately needed to kiss you.”

Three.

You were lying down on the couch, mindlessly scrolling on your phone. Kyle was by the dining area right beside your living room, sorting out some important papers. To fill in the empty space of your room, Kyle figured to play some music to help him loosen up.

Out of nowhere, Michael Jackson’s Rock With You started to play. You were initially taken aback, surprised to hear this in Kyle’s playlist. However, you didn’t mind it one bit, even bopping your head to the intro.

Before the chorus, you felt something lean over you. It was Kyle with his hand stretched to you, offering a dance. You could tell he was embarrassed, seeing the blush scribbled all over his face. You knew Kyle wasn’t fond of dancing, so you were so about to take the offer.

You gladly took his hand in yours, gracefully leaping out of the couch as much as you could (which wasn’t that much, but the execution didn’t matter in this situation!). You engulfed yourself in his arms as you guys swayed to the beat, not caring how horrible either of you looked… gyrating?

Anyways, let’s just say that Kyle ended up getting distracted by the fun you two were having and finished the papers much later that night.

Four.

You quietly entered your shared apartment, taking off your shoes by the entrance then treading to your room with the lightest steps possible so as to not wake your boyfriend up—just in case he was already asleep.

You opened the door, hoping it wouldn’t creak. The lights were still open, though, Kyle’s head turning to the doorframe, which was where you stood.

“Hi, dove,” he greeted with a smile. “I got you something.” He rose from the sheets and reached into his closet, holding two shirts in his hands.

He handed the other shirt to you, exactly your size. The top was mostly plain white, but in the middle were two rats cuddling with a text over it saying, “me and my partner :3”.

You deeply remember what this shirt was referencing. You were showing Kyle a photo on your phone. The photo was exactly the one on the shirt. You said something about how silly it would be if you two had matching shirts with text above it saying “me and my boyfriend” or something written above.

Kyle originally dismissed the idea. He knew you were joking, but he stated that he wouldn’t know how to pair the shirt with his wardrobe. Honestly, neither did you if you were to have the shirt, but you’d find a way to make it work.

That’s why you were surprised to see him gifting you something he didn’t really like.

“I thought your idea was kinda cute, and I went ahead and had it printed.” He awkwardly chuckled, cringing at his weak skill with graphic design. Visuals and art were never his strongest suit. The shirt, though, looked quite adorable either way!

You quickly wrapped him in a hug. “I love it so much. Thanks, dear.” You felt all around giddy. Your senses were tingly and your smile couldn’t express just how happy you were.

Five.

It was around 6 PM. You and Kyle had spent a whole day at an amusement park. By now, the energy that you two had earlier had been completely burned out. So now, he and you were inside the capsule of a Ferris wheel.

You sat beside each other, wearing your matching rat-cuddling shirts, enjoying the silence between you. You were staring at the view before you as you rose higher and higher. You held onto a stuffed toy he won at a carnival game for you an hour or two ago. Kyle, however, wasn’t focused on the view you were dazed at. His eyes were only focused on you.

You felt his eyes pierce through you, even if you yourself couldn’t see it. You turned behind, looking at him “What is it, Kyle?”

“You’re so pretty. I don’t think you understand how much I love you.” He said mindlessly. He seemed shocked by what he said once the words registered in his mind.

You giggled at his words, pulling his face closer to yours by the jaw. It was enchanting to see him get lost at just the sight of you. “Oh, but I think I do.” You whispered against his lips, giving him a peck on it before you two exited the Ferris wheel, holding hands.

[sheislethal]

Hey, I just saw your post about sending some suggestions so here I'm.

Could you please write about Sevika having an s/o that has been acting like a brat just bc they aren't receiving "enough attention" but one day they pass the limit and have to be punished. (Can be nsfw or sfw depending on your mood, either is good)

Thanks, hope you have a nice day ✨

SEVIKA x Bratty s/o

WARNINGS: {MDNI} : Usage of ~feminine~ body parts (but relatively gn! pronouns), NSFW, oral sex, degradation, orgasm denial, mature themes, etc.

Notes: This is my first little drabble written by suggestion, so I hope it makes a good first impression. <3

“Testing my Patience”

Days spent in Zaun were never particularly quiet. I typically enjoyed the chaos this place ensured because, at the end of the day, I knew I would get to have all the peace I needed at my apartment with my girlfriend.

Except that hasn’t been the case for the past two weeks. Sevika’s schedule has been packed as hell. Yes, she has always been a relatively busy woman, but lately, Silco has been keeping her on her feet way longer than usual. She’ll work all day to the point where once she gets home, she’ll pass out on the couch.

She’s barely given me more than a minute of her attention a day, and that just won’t fly with me. Now, I’m fine with her being busy, but going two weeks without her attention has driven me to the brink of insanity.

I’ve been doing a whole lot of stupid shit just to get a glance from her. Yesterday, I had walked around the house in nothing but a bra and a pair of panties, to which Sevika didn’t even notice. She had gotten home, huffed out a simple hello, and fell asleep in our shared bedroom.

To say I was pissed was an understatement. I’ve even attempted to pick fights with her before she left for work, but she wouldn’t give in to my desperate attempts. I couldn’t understand how she did it, to be honest.

I furrowed my brows together in frustration as I sat on the couch. The slightly broken clock on the wall read 7:56, so I knew Sevika would be here any second.

I was ready to physically fight her at this point. My fingernails dug into the fabric of my pants once I heard the front door open. Sevika’s heavy footsteps echoed throughout the apartment as she walked into the living room.

My eyes narrowed once her tall frame entered my view. I opened my mouth to start shouting at her, but I closed it once I took in the sight in front of me. She seemed a bit more chipper today, a big change from her usual irritation and tiredness.

“I’m headed to the Last Drop. I figured you’d wanna tag along.” She told me. I eyed her up and down suspiciously before nodding. “You don’t have work tomorrow?”

“Nah. Silco’s getting Jinx to handle some business, so he didn’t need me,” I smirked at the underlining anger that laced her words. If there was one thing everyone knew about Sev, it was that she did not like Jinx, and she certainly didn’t like her doing jobs Sevika knew she could handle better than Jinx. I always found it funny that this six-foot-something woman despised a girl that wasn’t even half her height.

I followed my girlfriend out the door with a hidden smile. Finally, I could have her attention tonight. Would I have preferred to spend time with her at our apartment? Yes. Was I complaining? Absolutely not. At this point, I’d take all I could get.

The walk to the Last Drop was a quick one considering we lived quite close to it. The bouncers posted by the doors didn’t spare us a glance as they allowed Sevika to push through the doors.

The atmosphere was sweaty and the lingering smell of smoke and intoxication drifted through the air. I trailed behind Sevika as she made her way over to a table that was crowded with men playing card games. I wasn’t sure why Sevika loved to play cards so much, but I didn’t care to ask.

She sat down in her usual seat and her metal hand made its way around my waist, pulling me down into her lap. Just her touch alone sent a shiver down my spine.

She started a game with the guys and simply didn’t acknowledge me for the next ten minutes. This was bullshit. She had gotten my hopes up for what? A game of cards?

I scoffed under my breath and rolled my eyes. Sevika quirked a brow at my irritation, but her eyes never left the cards in front of her. I twisted my head around to survey the bar, and something- or rather someone caught my eye.

Sevika was stubborn and could hold out when I wore scandalous clothes or picked fights, but I knew she wouldn’t be able to stand this. Everyone knew Sevika was- possessive, which led me to my next decision.

I hopped up from Sev’s lap. “Where are you going?” She muttered. “I’m thirsty.” My face appeared bored, and she nodded. I waltzed over to the bar and took a seat next to a woman. I smirked to myself as I called over to Thieram, the bartender. “Two shots, please.” I smiled as he gave me a short nod.

“I know you.” Said the girl by my side. She blew her long, blue bang out her face as she studied me. Her azure eyes trailed over my features before realization hit her.

“You’re Sevika’s girlfriend, aren’t you?” She asked me. I tilted my head with a grin. “Depends on who’s asking.” I shrugged, letting my eyes scan her slowly. Jinx’s eyes narrowed, but I could detect a sly grin on her face. Jinx would do practically anything to get under Sevika’s nerves, and if I planned on finally getting the attention I fucking deserved from my girlfriend, this was the route to take.

Thieram placed the two shots in front of me and I slid one over to the blue-haired girl. “You’re Jinx?” I feigned ignorance. Everyone in the lanes knew who Jinx was. You’d have to be living under a rock not to.

“The one and only!” She smiled and we rose our glasses, both of us downing the burning liquid quickly. Jinx wiped the residue from her plum-shaded lips. “What’s a good-lookin’ person like you doing with a troll like her?”

My lips quirked into a smile. “She’s got her moments.” My eyes slid over to the woman in question. Sevika’s eyes darted over to us every so often, and I knew she was getting angry. Her grip on the cards was tight and her jaw was tensed.

I needed to push her a little bit more. My eyes returned to Jinx’s. “Are you with anyone?” My voice hinted curiosity, but I already knew the answer. She scoffed. “Relationships don’t interest me. I’ve got better things to do with my life.”

“Hm. I assumed someone with looks like yours would be in a relationship.” Her eyes widened slightly, as did her smile. “You hittin’ on me, toots?”

I ran my tongue over my bottom lip as I inspected her. “Maybe.” I gave Sevika another glance before moving my lips to Jinx’s ear. “Truth is,” I started, my eyes meeting Sevika’s from across the room. “I’m trying to make Sevika angry.” Sevika’s eyes narrowed as she watched my lips move a mere inch from Jinx’s skin.

Her grip looked lethal as it tightened around the glass she held. Her face promised death as she glared daggers at me. Jinx chuckled once I pulled back. “I can certainly help with that.”

Her hand fell to my thigh as her painted nails lightly drug across my skin. That seemed to be the final straw for Sevika. My eyes widened as I watched her shoot up from her seat and make her way toward us.

Jinx simply chuckled and took a sip from her drink once Sevika gripped my arm and pulled me away from her. Her touch was bruising, and I winced as she dragged me into the bathroom.

“Sevika, that fucking hurts.” I attempted to pull my arm from her hold to no avail. “It should.” She growled and locked the door. Before I could respond, I was being shoved against the door. One of her hands was wrapped around my throat while the other was against the door, trapping me.

“You’ve been acting like a little bitch for days. The fuck is going on with you?” She demanded. Her lips were curled into a snarl as her eyes burned into mine. My hands were on her wrist and my eyes were narrowed. “You’ve barely looked at me for weeks! This was the most we’ve spoken in days, Sevika.”

“So that gives you the right to act like this? You’ve been behaving like a child for some attention? Is that it?” She sneered, her grip tightening around my throat.

“It worked.” I smugly told her with a smile. By the look in her steel eyes, I knew I’d regret those words. The corner of her lips rose slightly. She yanked me over to the bathroom counter and I let out a yelp at the force.

She hoisted me up by my thighs and placed me on the cold surface. “You want my attention? Here it is.” She yanked off my pants and my eyes widened. Her nails dug into my skin harshly, and I winced at the feeling of blood escaping.

She pulled me to the edge of the counter and I yelped, trying to hold on to one of the sinks for balance. “Fuck!” I shouted at her roughness. I felt my skin hit the cold counter once she had torn away my underwear as well.

Her metal hand forced my upper torso back against the counter once I tried to get up. “Nope. This is what you wanted, right?” She tilted her head at me demeaningly.

I opened my mouth to protest before her tongue abruptly licked up my slit. A sharp gasp left my parted lips as she started going down on me. She lifted my thighs onto her strong shoulders and pulled me closer against her.

My hand fell to her dark hair and I gripped it harshly. “Shit!” I panted and bit back a moan. Her human hand gathered some of the wetness that had begun to gather and used it to shove two fingers into me. I hissed in pain, causing her to laugh cruelly into my cunt. The vibrations made me shiver, and her fingers began thrusting quickly.

I could feel an orgasm approaching as my breathing got shallower and faster. She sucked harshly at my clit, and she pulled away right as I was about to peak. My eyes narrowed at her. “What the fuck, Sevika?”

Her metal hand gripped my jaw. “You think you deserve to cum?” She hissed. I grit my teeth together. “Fuck you.”

Surprise passed through her features and a small huff left her lips. Without warning, she flipped me onto my stomach and her human hand she gathered my hair. She pulled it back and my eyes met my reflection. The cold metal of her robotic arm came in contact with my entrance, and she shoved a finger inside followed by two more. I cried out in pain as she moved them as far as she could.

A mixture of pleasure and pain deliciously shrouded my senses as she fucked me mercilessly. Strangled moans left my throat as my mind clouded. She moved her hand from my hair back to my jaw as she forced me to watch her fuck me in the mirror. I gripped onto the sink as tears formed in the corner of my eyes.

“Gonna cry, slut?” Her eyes watched me hungrily. “You’re just an attention-hungry whore, aren’t you?” She lowered her lips to my neck and bit down. A groan left my lips at her touch. “Answer me, bitch!” She commanded.

“Fuck- yes!” My head fell onto the counter as I saw stars. I could feel my high approaching and I prayed she would allow me this one. I clenched around her robotic fingers and she smirked against my skin before pulling out once more. “Damn it!” I groaned against the cold tile.

She lifted my head up and I saw just how pathetic I looked. Tears stained my cheeks, black mascara leaving a trail. My hair looked wild while she looked smug. “That enough attention for you?” She asked as she released me.

I felt weak and limp while I tried regaining my breath. I could nothing but watch as she stuck her fingers into her mouth. She teasingly sucked the residue that coated her skin, her eyes never leaving mine.

I sighed and pushed strands of hair from my face. “Sorry for flirting with Jinx.” She scoffed. “I’ll let it slide. Pull that shit again and you won’t cum for a month.” She threatened.

I smiled and slid off the counter, pulling my underwear and pants up. Her arm slid around my waist as we left the bathroom together.

[soloistschornicles]

ᝰ ┆︎CHAPTER 01

⩩﹕𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬﹒[name] was invited by their relatives to join them in familial events, hail from the nation of eternity. there, they experience supernatural encounters, including meeting the infamous 7th wonder of Inazuma; Wanderer-san of Inazuma. 

⩩﹕𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠﹒kuni-scara-wanderer x reader

⩩﹕𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬﹒ongoing

Rumors and tales circulated through the docks of Liyue; it was only in the early hours of the morning when the port's bustle could be seen. The sun wasn't up yet as the ships were slowly making their way into the harbor. People had come out of their homes for work or to do errands as the sun rose further up in the sky, lighting the world up more like a dream than a memory of yesterday evening. 

The chill breeze caressed your slightly-shivering figure, your luggage trailing behind you as you saunter towards the port of Contracts. By dawn's early light the riders came, the sun opening up as a flower on the horizon, rising to send those petals of gold to shower the city with its radiance.

You might be wondering what you're doing at Liyue's port at this hour of the day. I shall begin with a simple courtesy, to enlighten your starting point of the story.

It was late in the night, but not midnight. The streetlamps lit the streets with warm colors, as if the lights were a fire burning brightly within you. Your footsteps echo against the cobblestone of your path to your humble abode. 

The energy you had in the morning has now been depleted as the night has gleamed. You felt yourself aching from a tiring, and the fatigue weighed so heavily on you that sleep was a distinct possibility. Endless herbs needed to be processed, and medications and prescriptions needed to be tended to the worrisome patients and customers.

Your attention was drawn to the silhouette of your house from a distance; it was barely visible from the road. But, eventually, you will be able to retreat to a central site and find sweet solace.

Upon arriving, on the doorstep of your abode, you spotted a polished-looking envelope with a familiar seal that fastened the letter. 

A recognizable insignia was marked upon it. A gold-plated seal consists of a hexagon shape with a blooming lotus in the middle.  

Taking the letter by hand, they went up to their bedroom, where their safe haven was situated. Glancing a questioning gaze upon the envelope. A faint sweetness and powdery aroma were wafting from the said envelope once they opened it. 

You knew this smell too well to be mistaken; it was the scent of a sakura bloom that was often to be seen at Narukami Island of Inazuma.

You began to unravel it slowly and saw a letter written in elegant calligraphy, and the name of the sender was not something you expected. You immediately open the envelope and read the contents.

Blooming Flower~

Sender: Kamisato, Ayato

Salutation, my dear [Name]. I am most pleased that you received my letter, and I hope that you do not mind me contacting you after such a long time, though I am quite certain that you would be gladdened to know that this year we’ll be inviting you for a break at our family house, at Kamisato estate. 

I have been informed by my informants about your recent work and your long period of working hours at your disposal. I’ve seen many reports of your success in the past two years since we spoke.

And so, I wanted you to be aware of how proud we are of you and how much we wish to share the news with you in person. Myself and Ayaka, have been looking forward to your arrival at the Kamisato estate for some time now. We’ll even have to cease our work schedules just to show you the beauty of Inazuma, which is in store for you. 

Furthermore, don’t fret. I had already contacted your executive. 

Sincerely, Ayato.

As you finished reading and reflecting about the said letter, a ripple of mixed emotions returned to the forefront of your mind. There was happiness, joy, excitement, and even sadness. All of a sudden you couldn’t help but feel a sense of deja vu as you remember the last time you read such a letter.

At the time, you were young. You always sent letters to your cousins, to see how they were doing for the past months since you sailed from Inazuma to Liyue. They were fun times back until the reign of the Kamisato clan had trampled to dust.

That incident was no more, but the pain of the loss of their parents will never fade. The grief and sorrow they faced and felt were now hidden away in the depths of their hearts. Masking with a smile on their face.  

Till that day, you and they never had a touch of contact for many moons. Until now, you felt a sense of relief flooding over you. That all of these years had passed by in peace made you sigh in relief to not have any worries in the world.

You fold the letter and seal it inside the envelope before placing it in the drawer beside your bed. Turning off the lamps that illuminate your room. 

Throughout the rest of the night, you had been pondering over the sudden invitation, it was all unexpected but welcome. You'll give in to some thought, then decide upon what to do in the morning. 

You turn on your side, closing your eyes as you try to fall asleep after a long day. The moonlight streams through your window, the glow brightening up your dark room. 

⏤🥀⏤

Back to the present at hand; you presently standing at the port, waiting for the arrival of transportation. There wasn't a single thing to keep you awake. You simply had enough sleep for the week. When the ship docked, you stood patiently waiting on the dock to be picked up. It was an hour earlier that you arrived at the port and the early morning crowd was still going strong. 

After a while, however, you became aware of someone walking towards you. The sound of a footsteps thudding against the hard ground resonated throughout the small crowd as people parted to make their way to wherever their destination was. 

After a while of walking towards you, a boy appeared in front of you with an apologetic expression. 

His appearance was unique; he had choppy-medium white hair with a singular red streak, and his outfit consisted of red-white Inazuma fashion, typically samurai attire. Maple leaves are decorated in them as a hallmark.

He appeared to be your age. "I apologize for the delay, but...are you [Name] [Lastname]?"

"Erm-yes, I'm [Name], can I assist you with something?" you politely replied. This makes the boy smile. "I'm just here to confirm your identity; Captain Beidou asked me to fetch a friend of hers named [Name], and it appears the wind did guiding me in the right direction."

You squinted your eyes toward the boy with skepticism. "How should I know you're telling the truth? I know Beidou for a while now but I have never seen you before."

Instead of being frustrated as you expected, the boy in front of you just let out a string of chuckles slipping from his lips. "If that's the case then I guess I should introduce myself!" He said smilingly at you.

"My name is Kaedahara Kazuha, and I'm recently recruited by captain Beidou herself. You don't have to believe it straight away. For your comfort, we can stay here and enjoy the tranquility of the sea while we wait for Captain Beidou. Does that sound good?" 

You were reluctant at first, but seeing the sincerity, you heave a sigh before nodding at his suggestion.

You and 'Kazuha' waited for a few minutes, relishing the carefree zephyr flittering the ends of your hair. As you waited, you took a glance at the boy who closed his eyes with a leaf between his lips; a dulcet tune swung through your ears as the winds playfully blew around you. 

It seemed like you were alone. Not knowing whether this was indeed a good or a bad thing, you thought. Perhaps, your company could be appreciated better.

As you relish yourself with the soft tune, you two heard a heavy footstep resounding through the dock. Cast a glance behind you; your eyes met with ruby-colored eyes that belong to the captain of the Crux fleet.

"My apologies for the latency, little one; I was having an...audience with the Tianquan, and I hope you didn't have to wait too long," Beidou said with a grin.

Her gaze shifted to Kazuha; she placed her hands on her hips. "Kazuha, didn't I tell you to fetch [Name] as the crew prepares for the ship?"

"Apologies, it appears I was too caught up in the moment," the samurai said. You stood there with your mouth formed in the letter 'O,' and a silver lining of guilt diluted over you. So he was telling you the truth while you pierced him with skepticism. 

Before the woman took the wrong way, you interjected. 

"I'm sorry I waste our time here, I simply didn't trust Kazuha once he inform me that the ship was preparing for my departure to Inazuma. So, don't blame him for any of this." You gave an apologetic gesture to both Beidou and the samurai. Your attention shifted to Kazuha. 

"I'm sorry Mr. Kaedahara, I didn't mean to offend you with my words."

Kazuha gazed at you with an astounding expression as he took a minute to watch you with apologetic motions. A serene smile makes its way to his face; his red-colored eyes glow with lenience. It was the most genuine and gentle expression you ever witnessed, and it warmed your heart greatly.

"No, don't worry about it; I wasn't offended in any way; rather, I was glad you were cautious; simply put, you're concerned about the possibility of being harmed," he said gently. "People nowadays are willing to trust strangers so easily; it's not a bad thing, but we should be meticulous." 

"And please call me Kazuha," he added.

You're thankful he's quite a reasonable guy. Even though you've known each other for a very short time, he has a friendly disposition that puts you at ease in a matter of seconds. 

Beidou approaches both of you and claps her hand in excitement. "I'm glad that you both set your difference aside."

She set hands on each of your shoulders and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Now, shall we prepare ourselves? We'll be embarking on a journey through a sea of depths, to the land of tempest and storm. The nation of Everlasting law. Inazuma."

⌗﹒𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 ⊹ 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡ ┊@raideneiari ・ @cynzcir ・ @louise-rosita-leroux ┊{ send ask if you wish to be tag : OPEN } 

ˢᵖⁱʳⁱᵗ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗᵉ: Although there's no appearance of Wanderer-san yet, please enjoy⏤Happy 2023 everyone!! Hope you celebrate with lots of Luv with your family and friends ♡

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Well, I’ve had a hell of a week. So far since last weekend, I have:

- Had a conversation with my roommate after which I became sure I would not be able to stay in my house. There’s been a whole thing for the last couple of months where my roommate is moving out and has tried to give our place to someone else, but I very much like this place (for reasons that range from good price and good location and it’s a good house, to I get too emotionally attached to places where I spend too much time) and want to stay here, and it’s long and complicated but basically I’ve had two months of being constantly stressed due to uncertainty about where I’ll be living in the fall. Then last weekend, I had a very confrontational call with my roommate – and I don’t do confrontation well – in which he informed that he was going to do something I had not previously thought of in order to give the house away, I was pretty sure it would work, got very upset due to the unexpected confrontation and due to the fact that I became sure I wouldn’t be able to stay here.

- Three days later, a couple of other people talked to my roommate, I talked to the landlord, a few things changed (including – I’m not saying my roommate will listen to men but not women, but when our male mutual friend made all the exact same points to him that I did, suddenly they made sense), and I’m now pretty sure I can keep the place. More sure than I’ve been for two months. The first time in two months that I’ve been able to lift almost all of that stress off my shoulders, and it’s an amazing feeling. I almost hesitate to write this for fear of inviting the worst, since nothing’s signed yet, it’s not for sure. Also I do still have to find a new roommate to cover the other half of the rent because his subletter’s moving out. But I can figure that out. It’s a huge relief to know it’ll very likely be okay.

- On Monday night, I accompanied my brother to one of his comedy shows, a decision I made partly to take my mind off worrying about whether I’d get to stay in my place (since I hadn’t yet heard the good news about that getting better). My brother convinced me to put my name in a draw, where whatever name they pick gets to perform in the one spot they keep open for that. My fucking name got picked. I performed stand-up comedy for the first time. I recited some shit that I wrote a while ago and have wanted to perform but haven’t had the guts to try before. It went much better than I’d expected, though that’s only because I’d expected it to be a catastrophic failure. In reality it went fine. People laughed more than one time, which wildly exceeded my expectations. Afterward, several comedians and several audience members came up to me to say I did well. Some were presumably just being nice (I’m sure “just being nice” also factored into the laughs, as I did immediately tell them this was my first time doing it), but they seemed to mean it, at least a bit. I think it actually was all right for a first time. Afterward I hung around the bar and drank with comedians and it was the first time in ages that I can remember having so much fucking fun without any part of it being difficult.

- On Wednesday, I went out to a live Celtic music night. This is because a couple of weeks before that, my parents went to a folk festival out East and saw a few of my favourite singers, and that made me sad, because I used to go see music all the time, and I stopped in 2020, and I’ve seen a couple of music things since then but not many, and I miss it. So, it occurred to me, there’s nothing stopping me from just starting it again. The day after the folk festival that I missed, I Googled folk music in my area, found a reasonably priced Celtic music night at a venue that’s relatively near me, that I’d never heard of because it just opened during the pandemic. I checked its schedule and it has a lot of stuff that I like, including monthly Celtic music nights. This sort of thing is part of why I care so much about staying in my place that’s downtown. Near my sport. Near my friend. Near comedy. Near live music. I’ve spent so much time staying in my house not doing stuff, I’m only just starting to do stuff again, I want to do everything, that is not a good time to lose my downtown housing.

So on Wednesday, I walked to this new music venue, and it’s so good. So good. The perfect size, big enough to fit enough of a crowd to bring in touring musicians, not big enough for the size of the room to impact enjoyment. Capacity of about 90 people, I think, and well spread out. Stage with enough room for a band with lots of instruments. A building that was clearly made with acoustics in mind, the sound quality was fantastic. And when I got there, I didn’t want to pay for the overpriced water bottles you get at venues, but I was so hot and thirsty from the walk that I decided it was worth it. So I asked at the counter for a bottle of water, and they told me I could just take a cup and fill it from their water cooler for free. I will be returning to that venue.

Then they played music! God, it’s been so long since I’ve seen that stuff live, I love it. It was a band I didn’t know, but was made of four people, two of whom I did know, from other projects they’ve done. Three were local and one from out East. They all knew their shit, played a bunch of classics and some of their own stuff. Stuck very closely to the “Celtic” remit (unlike some bands that will just define “Celtic music” as “anything with a fiddle”), explained the history of every song and tune, it was mainly Scottish and some Irish and a few Cornish songs. Was fucking beautiful. The show was just about to start when I got a text from my roommate telling me he’d spoken to the landlord and I’ll get more details later but I’m going to be able to stay in the house.

- On Thursday, I went out to a different comedy night. This is one I’ve been to before, a pub that runs comedy every Thursday just around the corner from my house. I went a bunch of weeks in a row this spring, and hadn’t been for a few weeks, but was pleased when the woman working at the bar still recognized me when I came in, asked me where I’d been. This was normal, she’d started recognizing me after I’d been going for a few weeks. What was less normal was that this time, the guy who runs the comedy night also went up to me, and asked if I planned to put my name in the lotto draw, the same type of thing that I did on Monday when my name got picked and I performed. The Monday and Thursday night things both have seven comedians who are booked ahead of time, and then leave open one “lotto spot” that goes to whoever’s name gets pulled from a pitcher.

I said no, because that hadn’t occurred to me, I hadn’t even started to think about how I wanted to try performing again, I’d only come to watch. Then I sat down, thought for five minutes, got back up, and put my name in. Because why not?

My name didn’t end up getting picked, but I enjoyed some of the comedy (not all of it, these nights can be hit and miss, but a few people were good). After it was over, while I was paying my bill, the guy who runs the comedy night came over to me again. He addressed me by my first name, which briefly surprised me because I’d not spoken to him before that night, and I hadn’t realized he knew my name. He said he was sorry I didn’t get picked for the lotto spot, but would I like to perform – as in be on the actual bill, not just in the lotto – on August 10th, in two weeks?

My first thought was genuinely that he’d made some sort of mistake, what with me not being a comedian. I asked him if he was sure, and he said, “Yeah, I saw you at [name of other pub, that runs the Monday night comedy], you were good. So do you want to perform here in two weeks?” I said yes, and thank you, and tried to seem relatively cool about it. Then I left the bar (after briefly apologizing to the guy who had compered the night for how quiet the audience was, including me because to be honest I’d been too distracted by wondering if I’d get picked for the lotto spot to laugh out loud much, but the compere was good and got visibly distressed about how little audience reaction he got, I told him he was funny and deserved a better response, and he told me that made him feel much better and my comment made his night, I’d been nervous to say that to him but then was glad I did, little life tip, if you have nice things to say to people you should say them), and walked home while trying not to shout out loud “I love this fucking city!” as though I was Jim Carry running across town at the end of a movie.

So... it wasn't just people wanting to be nice when they told me on Monday I'd done well. A guy who runs a comedy night thought I did well enough to put me on a bill.

- Last night, I went out for dinner with my best friend, hadn’t eaten in actual restaurant in ages, that was really nice. Hung out at my place afterward. Appreciated how convenient it is to live a fifteen-minute walk from a guy I’ve known for twenty years and still want to see all the time.

- Today, Saturday, I’m about to drive to Montreal to see Tom Ballard and Josie Long, two of my favourite comedians, in a fairly small room at the Just For Laughs Festival. I am so fucking excited. Beyond fucking excited. I am not even going to try to explain how excited I am, because I won’t do it justice. I’ve written a couple of posts about it already. I can barely even think about it. I still can hardly wrap my mind around the idea that Josie Long is a real person and will be in a room with me, even though I’ve been sent pictures she’s put on social media of herself since she arrived in Canada earlier this week.

- Tomorrow, I am being sent to the seaside for my health. I fly out to my grandparents’ home on Canada’s East Coast, my favourite place in the world (Canada’s East Coast in general is a place I love, but my grandparents’ house, out in rural Nova Scotia and right on the ocean, where they’ve been living since I was two years old and where I’ve spent a lot of time every year of my life, is my actual favourite place in the world). My parents have been there for a couple of months now (that’s how they went out to the folk festival that I had to miss due to not being in the area), and I’ll be joining them for a week, and then we’ll all drive home next weekend, and I start a new job on August 8th.

My grandparents won’t be there – they moved into a care home a while ago, and my parents love that house so much and have been trying to figure out a way to keep it in the family, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to work. So part of why they went down this summer was to look into the process of selling it. They did do that a bit, and nothing’s happening immediately, but there’s a good chance this week will be the last time I’ll ever go there. I hope it won’t be. Selling it might take a long time and I might get there again. Or it might sell immediately because it’s the best place in the world.

Either way, I’m going to enjoy this time there. I feel really lucky to have had all the time with it that I’ve had for thirty years, and I feel lucky to get to see it again next week.

So, that's my life update. Things have been rather rough for a while, but they're really looking up. Not everything's sorted out yet, but to paraphrase 30 Rock's Liz Lemon, I am hesitantly allowing myself to feel slightly hopeful.

[sanversandfriends]

And now for some send-off inspiration for our writers!

The Finish-the-Fic Interview with @kelinswriter, otherwise known as @worddancer21

As many of you already know, Kelinswriter is not only an amazing finisher of fics, but to loosely paraphrase Jackie Cooper in Superman('78), she can also spin gorgeous prose while crafting cinematic, edge-of-your-seat stories at near Kryptonian speed.

To start off the event, she's been gracious enough to share some advice and insights on the writing process, which we hope you'll find helpful as well as inspiring.

We certainly do.

Could you share a little bit about your process? How much of the ending do you have worked out when you start a story?

I can’t write the story without knowing the ending. I have to know where I’m headed to be able to really commit to it as a story. With fic it’s kind of a given that the ending is the pairing together and in a relatively good place, having grown from the experience. The tricky part – and the fun -- is figuring out how they can overcome the obstacles I’ve created for them so that they can reach that place.

What are some of your strategies for getting through the final stretch of a longform story? What are some stumbling blocks writers should avoid?

Well, I still haven’t finished Eclipse, so I may not be the best person to talk to about this. But just in general, it’s about self-discipline. For some people, that’s a weekly word count. For me, it’s about staying on a regular writing schedule. I devote most Saturdays to writing, from the time I get up until I’ve finished a reasonable amount of work for the day.  I aim for 3000 words a day on a writing day, and the edit of a full chapter (or chapter section, if a long chapter), on an editing day. I try not to cross points of view on a given writing or editing day, as I think that makes it harder to stay in character. But sometimes, it’s unavoidable.

Just in general, I would say it’s important to not overthink it. Focus on writing the story you intended to write, as best you can write it at this point in time. Is it possible if you wait that the story will be better later? Sure. That’s called growth. But the only way that growth will happen is if you write, so you might as well write the story you’re writing now.

What are some elements you consider essential for a satisfying ending?

Have the characters grown in some way, and particularly, has the point of view character grown (if a single pov). How is that demonstrated? Also, the reader walking away with the feeling that they’ve been on a journey and grown from the experience, too. I want them to feel like the story both made sense within its internal logic and that it was worth their time. If I’ve done my job right, they should be able to imagine the characters continuing forward in their lives, without feeling like they haven’t seen enough of this particular journey. It should feel like a full meal.

What are some of your favorite endings in fics (alternately books or films or series)? What do you think makes those endings satisfying?

My favorite ending of all time was Buffy’s. Even though I wasn’t crazy about some things in the last season, that last shot of her standing with a smile of pure relief on her face brought the character’s arc full circle in a way I don’t think I’ve ever seen replicated. I actually liked the cut to black ending of The Sopranos, too, because it fit the chaos and uncertainty of that world.

As for what makes those endings satisfying – they’re true to the characters and the world. Readers/viewers know when an ending is false or is manipulated in a way that sacrifices character growth for a “gotcha” ending. The frustrations many viewers felt with how GoT wrapped, and particularly with how Cersei, Jaimie, and Dany’s arcs ended, is a good example of this.

What advice would you would give to people struggling with the endings of their stories?

A long work is exhausting, and by the end, it’s hard to see it clearly. Trust the characters and the world you built. If you need to take breaks, that’s okay, but try to do something to keep inching the story forward every week.

If on deadline, it’s also helpful to create a work map. Sit down with a calendar and determine how many writing sessions you have between now and deadline. Work out the story beats you need to hit to make that deadline and assign each one to a writing session. It’s important to allow time for editing and upload too. Assume that you’re going to be working on it almost every day for at least a few hours a day that last week or two.

What is your favorite ending to one of your own stories?

In my own work, I’m proudest of the flash forward at the end of “Deep in the Heart of the Storm.” It subverted the happy ever after of the end of the main story by showing that there were consequences to what the characters had experienced, while also assuring the reader that they’d done the work to earn their reunion. To make that feel real to me, I purposely did not write the flash-forward until the rest of the fic had been fully edited. That helped me create a sense of space from where they were when the main story ended, and where they were six months down the road.

Any last words of advice?

Stop thinking and start writing. Also, listen to the characters. They’ll tell you where they want to go.

Thank you for this @worddancer21-- and for your stories. If you haven't already, go check out her work on AO3!

[gettothestabbing]

Friendship issues

So I impulsively bought concert tickets for an older band I like a few months ago. And I say tickets plural because I thought, hey, this concert is in a city my old acquaintance X, who I recently started talking to regularly, lives in. I should invite him! It would be fun to get together and I feel like treating someone to something. So I did. He liked the idea and said yes.

Today I got a strong feeling that I should remind him of the date now that it’s only a month away. He quickly responds, “Oh, I won’t be back from my trip then, sorry.”

I know, from our conversations, that his trip details weren’t finalized until after I had invited him to this concert. I’ve never been to a live concert before, so I don’t know if my tickets are relatively cheap or not, but to me, it was a significant amount to pay. We hadn’t seen each other in person in some time. And it’s not some conflict with a significant other, since neither of us have one.

I told him that his forgetting hurt my feelings, he wrote me a carefully worded apology (which also implied that I had been told his trip details weren’t finalized at the time), and I accepted it. But I almost wish I hadn’t. It feels like, when someone is making an effort to apologize to you, you should accept it most of the time. It’s not that he didn’t apologize properly. The format was correct. But from the careless way he actually treated this invitation, and his failure to tell me on his own (having to be prompted) that he couldn’t make it, I don’t think he really sees this as important. And I feel like now that I have accepted this apology, there’s almost no way to express my continuing sense of hurt without coming across as unreasonable or as holding a grudge.

Blah blah blah, girls overanalyze and boys are straightforward. That’s kind of why I still feel hurt. I thought that this person respected me and my time, at least enough to give me a heads up if plans changed. And clearly, that’s just not the case. I had been looking forward to this, for a lot of reasons, and he didn’t even try to schedule his trip around it. I know the nature of the trip and it wouldn’t have been that difficult. So he just forgot it completely, didn’t even write it down. Wow.

(And honestly, I used to have a crush on this guy in college. Since we’re both single, and he is a rare unicorn who shares both my political and religious beliefs, I hoped to form a deeper connection. But obviously he doesn’t even think highly of me as a friend, despite our having talked almost daily for almost 6 months.)

I’m really tired and sad thinking about this pattern of friendships where I’m emotionally invested and the other person appears to be too, until they decide to just stop pretending and drop me. I had a friend I talked with regularly and had worked with. The moment she found out (how, I don’t know) that we voted differently, she spent multiple days messaging me long, condescending things trying to change my mind in time for the 2020 election before ceasing to speak to me altogether. She couldn’t put this one difference between us aside for a multi-year friendship.

Several times when I worked in New Jersey, I would befriend staff members that were close to my age. We had fun together, and I helped them drive to things or figure out American stuff if they were on a visa here. But often, after I would do something big for them (helping pick out a wedding dress, taking care of their pet, etc.), they would thank me and then just stop talking to me almost at all. They found my most useful point of existence for their life and decided that it wasn’t worth the time investing in a relationship with me anymore.

Not every adult friendship has been like this. But a fairly large portion of them have. It is hard to predict which relationships I invest in will continue for a long time and which will abruptly fall off a cliff.

[punkwixes]

i guess a better life update is like

so i’m graduating this spring. it took me a while to get an internship + i got rejected from the first one i applied to. that was okay, though, because it was smth specific that only took One student in each department, so like 4 students total, and you had to specially apply to it. i found another internship actually working for the school itself, which i’m pleased with. it’s very close to my home, and i can get there easily. they’re very casual about dress code too, so i dyed my hair again earlier this month :3

i quit working for the nursing home like 6 months ago, after almost 6 YEARS of being employed there. it was pretty on the spot lmao. we got new management that sucked + a resident started screaming at me and i was just like. well. i’m done.

currently: unemployed! or “full-time student” according to, like, my taxes or w/e. contemplating applying to some stores in the area but not too worried about it. money isssss pretty tight rn, but luckily i was able to save a LOT over the pandemic so i’ll be okay until i graduate and have to start paying back those student loans. i would like to think i’m pretty good at budgeting and money management, luckily.

ummm wedding is happening in may of next year, hopefully. move is happening ????? idk whenever it works for both of us. it’s gonna be scary but i can’t complain or worry about it too much because my wife already did that move Alone, so , like,

made this post because i was just thinking about like, idk what the gap will be between graduating & moving — not really worried about it Too much, because i know that’s smth we will figure out later haha. but i was thinking about how it’s smth we will figure out because i am Acutely aware of what happened when shit got bad in june 2017, where i was going “i’ll be moving out soon, i can’t get a job NOW!” and then i didn’t move out till december 2017. but then i was thinking about how i haven’t really talked about my life Extensively here since all that happened — maybe a bit, but most of it happens in dms (hi jess) (the ONLY person i use the tumblr messenger for) or in my discord server(s?) lmao.

and i realized that i have a lot of people (relatively, i guess.) who have been following me since i was like. 15? 16? and who maybe saw all that go down but don’t know what’s happening now.

anyways. on that front. my parents and i have… idk. kind of a relationship? not really sure. they have more of a relationship to me than i have to them, which is funny. they text me about every other day, but i don’t really answer that often. they know if they make negative commentary abt anything i’m doing they’ll just lose contact with me for good. they know i’m gay & that i’m getting married, and they’re Forced to be supportive Or Else, which i also find funny. they’re not attending my wedding though, On God.

had a weird thing happen a while back where my mom apologized for like. a lot of stuff. for the homophobia, for Some of the physical abuse she did, for some of the physical abuse & other abuse my dad & brother did to me. on their behalf, i guess? idk, being apologized to doesn’t really mean anything to me — or it didn’t, for a long time; i’ve only recently had Moments where someone apologized to me and i felt that it meant a lot — so i just felt weird about it. she was crying really hard, so i know that she knows that it was Bad. i still wish i could impart on her or on other people who don’t believe me Exactly what it was like, but i can’t.

for a large part it doesn’t really affect me, other than like, a desire to bury my head in the sand rather than Confront anything negative. so like. it doesn’t make it better but what i’m trying to say is like… idk, i’m doing fine, it could be way worse.

i guess i’m just biding my time until graduation. i almost wish i was working, because it feels like time passed a lot faster when i had work looming over me every two days. my class schedule for the next week is… fun…. i have a class from 2-4 and 6-8 on mondays, and then class from 6-8 on wednesdays. my fourth class is just my internship credit, and i don’t really need any more classes [that are offered in the fall].

so i’ll have plenty of free time, which is nice. i want to do more around the house, helping w upkeep and stuff. i have housemates & friends who i Love, which is not smth i would have expected like five years ago. so. time flies, i guess.

[fallout-lou-begas]

Less people know me on tumblr than they do on twitter so I feel a bit safer using this as, like, yknow, a blog that is personal, and something that’s been eating at me for a while is that the pencils to the first two pages of the next IKROAH have been done for a while but when I tried to ink them I fucked it up so bad that I’ll probably just have to completely redraw them, and I don’t think anything that discouraging has happened to me before since I started drawing back in 2020. It’s just been really hard to motivate myself for the mulligan when I’m already worried about messing the inks up again, and also I’ve been under a heat advisory for the past week and change so I’m already too hot and sweaty to be motivated to do much of anything lmfao

I remember when IKROAH first started I would put out issues every two weeks or so, and then once per month, and treated that as almost like a schedule or a deadline, which was insane! All while working the same full-time job that I do now! Admittedly that pace was only achievable because frankly my art was worse and sloppier and while impatience is definitely still my biggest weakness as an artist, I have undoubtedly improved over time but at a certain point making art better means taking more time on it. It’s created this weird conflicting feeling where art and comic pages aren’t something that I can just bang out in a day or a few days anymore, and even relatively small projects are pretty big time and attention investments. Obviously I could revert this by just embracing drawing more shittily but, like, come on, I have my own standards. And this isn’t insurmountable and doesn’t mean that I hate drawing now, not at all, but this change in my relationship to my art and my art-making has definitely been on my mind a lot, especially as I’m aware of how much I’d rather just play video games or hang out with my husband whenever I’m not at my job. Because that’s a big part of it, the increase in how much art feels like “work” means I don’t want to do it as much in my leisure time. It’s good work, it’s work that I love doing (much more than my actual job lmao), but it’s still work and lately I haven’t wanted to work!

It’s another funny balance. A wise friend of mine once said, bluntly, that you do it or it doesn’t get done. This applies to making and finishing art of any kind, reading books, cleaning house, developing skills, etc., and applies even if you’re sick or busy or distracted by myriad other things. If the only people who ever made and finished art were the idle people with the luxury of all the time in the world, we’d only have pretty shitty and boring art. So unfortunately the only way to get good art or to make it is to power through feelings of overwork or sickness or exhaustion or whatever is ailing you and make it anyway. Intellectually, I know this, but emotionally(?) I’m just dealing with a real lack of steam ever since I finished a zine at the start of May. It’s not like I depend on commissions or print sales for income or anything, anyway, so it’s not like I have an urgent need to be drawing, either, the way some other artists might be.

These thoughts don’t really have a point. I suppose I’m just self-conscious about falling off such a meaningful hobby to me for so long, about not Making Things, especially as someone who generally figured that she Makes Things? But it doesn’t feel like burnout or loss of interest, it just feels like I’m doing what I want to do and enjoying it and I just don’t want to make art as much as I used to. Maybe if I got paid my current salary to work on comics eight hours a day instead of doing data entry I’d get a lot more art done but that just goes back to the previous paragraph lol. I don’t really need any kind of “chin up lou, i’m sure you’ll be able to draw again soon” or “it’s okay take all the time you need” kinds of comments because I feel like I know these things already and I’m just Posting Through It

Anyway how’s your summer going

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 99 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Previously: Courtney embarked on a recording career with Bianca’s help (even more help than she knew), Violet was told that she’s staying in Fame’s office through February, and Fame (along with Raja and Raven) cut Bianca off. 

This Chapter: Courtney meets her new manager, Trixie stresses about leaving town, Violet worries about her runway look, Fame listens to reason, and Raven talks shit in the wrongest place possible. 

***

Courtney looked uncertainly around Amy Ruth’s, feeling a bit out place in the Harlem soul food restaurant. 

“Courtney!” called out a voice, and when Courtney caught a glimpse of the big, beautiful woman waving her over, she immediately felt at ease.

A smile broke out on her face as she pranced over to where Latrice was sitting, introducing herself and trying not to get lost in her mesmerizing glittered eyeshadow. 

“Thank you so much for doing this,” Courtney said. 

“Well, I always say that if the money’s right, then I’m down,” Latrice told her, before letting out a wonderful, bellowing laugh, fanning herself with a menu. 

Courtney giggled along with her as she flagged down a waiter and ordered a bunch of food that Courtney didn’t recognize the names of.  However, she knew that, vegan or not, she was gonna be eating everything this glorious woman put in front of her. 

“So,” Latrice said, folding her hands and leaning across the table. “Tell me about this contract. I had a look, it’s pretty boiler-plate. What is it that you want?” 

“Well…” Courtney bit her lip, trying to figure out how to phrase her concerns without sounding too much like an amateur. “I guess…I’ve never signed anything like this before, and so I want to make sure that I understand it all, but also to get your input if you think anything seems off…” 

“Right, okay. That makes sense. At first glance, the biggest question mark for me is the publicity and marketing section. It’s a little vague and the budget seems low. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to schedule a meeting with their team to talk it over. There’s no point in making music if people aren’t gonna hear it, you know?” 

“Yeah! That sounds great!” Courtney exclaimed, pulling her copy of the contract out of her bag. “I’d also just like to go through it with you, if that’s okay.” 

“Absolutely. One moment.” Latrice held up a finger, her cell already ringing and pressed to her ear. “Hi, Latrice Royale for Jeffrey. Thank you…Jeff! Hello young man! I’m representing Ms. Courtney Jenek and we’d love to set a meeting with you to talk about the marketing plan before she signs…mmhmm…next Tuesday sounds fabulous, we’ll see you then…” Latrice let out a gleeful cackle, then said, “Of course, of course. See you then!” 

She turned back to Courtney, who was watching with wide eyes, incredibly impressed that she already knew the players at the record label and was able to get a meeting on the books that quickly. 

“Okay. We can meet with their head of PR next Tuesday, 11 am. Does that work for you?” 

“Of course! Thank you so much, you’re amazing.” 

“So I’ve been told,” Latrice said with a wink. “Now. Let’s take a look at this contract and get you comfortable.”

Courtney smiled. ‘Comfortable’ was an understatement—with Latrice, she felt absolutely safe and supported, as if she was a long-long relative. She could only hope that maybe she’d be willing to keep working with her beyond this contract.

***

Trixie hadn’t meant to knock over one of his Barbie displays, the thick pink carpet making it almost impossible to find the missing handbag.

“Coach?“

“Shit!” Trixie jumped in surprise, slamming his head into the coffee table. “Ow!”

“Oh my god,” Kiara crouched next to him, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine-“ Trixie crawled backwards, “I was looking for-“

“Is that a Barbie purse?” Kiara picked something up from the carpet, and Trixie yelped with excitement.

”Thank you!” Trixie grinned, taking the small piece of plastic, “Did you need anything?”

“I just wanted to ask if I should lock up when I left,” Kiara nodded her head, gesturing to the empty design floor. “Everyone else is already gone.”

“They are?” Trixie smiled, a sense of pride welling up in him. It felt amazing to be on track, to actually be on schedule for fashion week, this spring so different from last year's fall collection. Sure, there were still things that needed to be done, but they were in the hands of Bendela and the tailoring team. “Know what, get out of here too. I’ll take care of it.”

 ***

Violet was absolutely exhausted, her body aching, her ankle throbbing, but even though it was Friday night, she hadn’t gone home yet.

It had taken forever for Fame to leave her office, Violet waiting patiently with her coat ready, a breath of relief leaving her when Fame had finally finally finally asked for a car.

She turned the corner, the double doors to the tailoring floor in front of her. Violet swiped her keycard, praying that everyone had gone home before she stepped inside.

The lights came on, and she let out a breath of relief, her eyes scanning the empty room, and that, that was when she saw it.

Her dress, her beautiful dress was spread out on a big work table, the amount of chairs and the piles of beads that still needed to be attached telling their clear story of how many tailors that were working on it.

Violet took a step, and then another one. She almost didn’t dare touch, didn’t want anyone to know that she had been down here to check on her baby, but she couldn’t help herself.

The fabric felt just like she remembered it, the pattern she had left behind followed exactly. 

Violet tried not to cry with relief as she went over it, time slipping through her fingers as she inspected every inch of her creation for any signs of flaws or imperfection. 

***

“Coming through!” Katya held the slices of cake up high, stepping over the back of the couch.

“Katya!” Trixie’s voice was filled with outrage, and Katya had to fight not to roll her eyes.

“Relax,” Katya kissed Trixie’s cheeks, leaving behind a red lipstick mark. “There’s no need to stress.” She placed the cake in Trixie’s lap, leaning her head on his shoulder. Sure, Killer had really started to make his presence known, her back sore in a way she had never tried before, but that didn’t mean that she was going to stop moving.

“I don’t stress,” Trixie put his fork through the red velvet, “I just, worry.”

“I know,” Katya nosed at his neck. They had had this conversation countless times, Trixie worried about leaving her behind every single time he went to Europe, the fact that she was pregnant not easing his worries at all. “At least Fame has allowed you to stay home from London.”

If it had been anyone else, Katya didn’t think Fame would have been cool with it, but she was invested in their relationship, always going out of her way to support them.

“Right,” Trixie took a bite of his cake, sighing before he turned his attention to the TV. “There is that.”

“I’ll be fine,” Katya grabbed the remote, “Now, let’s watch some alien shit.”

***

“Can I open this one?” Violet was sitting on the floor of Raja’s old room, the big bed filled with clothes. When she had arrived, the hallway had been a maze of boxes and garment bags, Sutan yelling that he was in the extra bedroom.

Violet knew that her boyfriend was semi-famous, that it was inevitable for him to be in the back or even forefront of a myriad of fashion week photos, and that he was something of a style icon, but she had still felt overwhelmed by the amount of PR and gifts. Normally, brands invited whoever they wanted to dress to their studios to put together outfits, but it seemed like Sutan was established enough in the industry that brands simply sent him a wide variety of things, in the hopes that he’d wear them. 

“Sure, just make sure to keep it to the side.” Sutan was standing in front of a mirror, trying on a North Face zipper jacket in burnt orange. Violet wasn’t sure she had ever seen Sutan in casual street wear, but apparently, the spring fashion weeks got cold enough that everyone had out-leisure backups in their suitcases. “We wouldn’t want things to get mixed up.”

“Right.” She carefully opened the Ralph Lauren box, untying the ribbon and lifting the lid, finding an empty spot to put it down surprisingly difficult in the overstuffed room.

Violet had never been inside of Raja’s old bedroom, exploring the apartment without Sutan present feeling somewhat like a breach of his privacy. She would, however, never have guessed that the room essentially turned into a second closet twice a year, Sutan surprisingly diligent in keeping track of what was a PR piece, and what wasn’t. He had explained to her that he was sending the uninteresting pieces back, because it was the right thing to do, but also because it meant less clutter in his life.

“So?” Sutan turned, putting his hands in pockets. “Do we like this? Or should I go with the Balenciaga?” Balenciaga had sent over several garments, their spring style apparently oversized everything, except pants which were tight in the waist with thick belts.

“Kade likes orange.” Violet had been emailing back and forth with Kade, the two of them exchanging ideas and moodboards for the outfit she had promised to make him. It hadn’t been Violet’s intention, but she had made several plans for February with Kade already, the man so enthusiastic and interesting that she just couldn’t turn him down whenever he asked if she wanted to do something. 

“And that’s a no?” Sutan unzipped the jacket and shrugged it off. “Though drag queens have historically had a pretty good sense of where fashion is going?” He put it to the side, returning it to the plastic it had come in, instead of dumping it in his suitcase. “Are there any jackets from Ralph?”

“There’s this one,” Violet held up a black jacket with yellow detailing on the shoulder. “Seems like everyone is living their color fantasies this season.”

“I know you’re making fun of the lack of it,” Sutan took the jacket, “but that’s the reality of menswear.”

“It just seems like a shame,” Violet shifted through the box, a pair of frankly horrid jungle flower trousers the only other pop of color, though she couldn’t wait to see her boyfriend in the waistcoats. “You can carry a color.”

“I think that means this one is a keeper,” Sutan grinned, and Violet shook her head, a small smile on her lips.

“I can’t believe you pack like this.” Violet had been tired when she arrived, the days at work still brutally long, but this was exciting and surprising, Sutan’s process of packing so different from what she had imagined, the man folding the jacket and putting it in his Louis Vuitton suitcase. “So far in advance.”

“I used to not care that much.” Sutan sat down on the floor next to Violet, looking through the Amarni box himself. “I used to just grab my wallet and leave.”

It wasn’t that surprising, Sutan often so very go-with-the-flow that it stressed Violet out. “And what changed?”

“The novelty of touching down in Europe,” Sutan looked up at her, a smile on his lips, “and realizing you have no clean underwear wears off quickly.”

Violet laughed, the image absolutely ridiculous.

“And once you’ve been photographed looking like shit enough times,” Sutan was surprisingly quick sorting through the Armani, most of the pieces ending up in what Violet could only assume was the yes pile, “You start to care.”

“So you do care?”

“Did you think I didn’t?” Sutan looked at her, a stunned tone in his voice, which was an unexpected turn of events.

“I don’t know,” Violet pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, suddenly unsure. “You just seem so…Cool, calm. Collected.”

It was one of the things she liked best about Sutan, how it felt like he always had it together.

“Oh?” Sutan raised an eyebrow, his hand closing around her ankle, her shoes left in the hall, her red pedicure visible through her stockings. “So you think I’m cool?”

“It’s not very becoming to fish for compliments.”

“Who says I’m fishing?” Sutan yanked on Violet’s ankle, a gasp leaving her as he pulled, causing Violet to tumble to the floor and land on her back.

“Sutan!” Violet yelled, her mouth open in mock outrage as Sutan climbed on top of her, her boyfriend leaning on his forearm, their bodies barely touching.

“Whoops,” Sutan grinned, his entire aura needlessly smug, “seems like I just reeled in a catch.”

“Oh god,” Violet huffed, rolling her eyes though her stomach also flipped, Sutan annoyingly charming when he put his mind to it. “You’re terrible.”

“I thought I was cool.” Sutan lowered himself down, his lips inches from Violet’s.

“You’re pretty perfect.” Violet smiled, putting her arms around Sutan’s neck and kissing him. “At least for me.”

***

“Alright…” Juju smiled at Fame, running a hand gently through her wet blonde hair, folding the ends up and holding them to her chin. “How are you feeling about it? Changed your mind yet?” 

Fame was in the salon to freshen up her look before Fashion Week. She’d insisted on a root touch-up, even though Juju could barely find 3 millimeters of dark hair. She’d casually mentioned wanting a chin-length cut, and while Juju always wanted to make her customers happy, she had to make sure that Fame was still comfortable before she began chopping, that it wasn’t a rash decision made by a broken heart. 

“No, I have excellent bone structure,” Fame replied.  

Juju bit the inside of her cheek, holding back the comment that some of Fame’s bone structure was botox and fillers.

“It’ll be a nice change, a surprise,” Fame said, looking up at Juju in the mirror, a small smile on her lips. “Besides, I trust you to do it well.” 

Juju chuckled softly, knowing what a rare honor it was to be considered one of Fame’s trusted few. Frankly, she wasn’t sure she’d still be on the list, given her refusal to cut Bianca off. Raven was certainly not thrilled with her at the moment, and she’d insinuated that perhaps Raja and Fame felt the same. 

“How are you feeling?” Fame asked. “Your due date is in about a month, correct?” 

“March 6th,” Juju said, nodding. She wondered if her pregnant state had anything to do with Fame not holding a grudge. And if so, she planned to milk it. “I’ve been alright. Slowing down a little now that I’m the size of a house, not touching as many chemicals, but still managing.” 

“You look beautiful,” Fame assured her, reaching out to briefly loop her fingers around Juju’s wrist, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting go. “Truly.”

“Thank you,” Juju said with a wink. She began the cut, blonde locks falling to the floor, trying not to dwell too much on the elephant in the room. Finally though, she couldn’t help herself, and when Fame caught her eye next, blurted out, “I take it you’re still not talking?” 

“No,” Fame said simply, though her tone wasn’t the icy cold it could be. “We’re not.” 

“And how are you feeling about that?” Juju asked gently. 

“Well…” Fame’s spine stiffened for a moment, but then the steely resolve in her eyes seemed to soften as she admitted, “It’s been…less than ideal.” 

“Yeah. I bet.” 

What Juju didn’t understand about the nature of Fame and Bianca’s friendship could fill a book. She’d known them both for so many years, and things had always been, well, complicated between them. 

“Mm.” Fame sighed slightly, her expression still a bit far away, her fingers picking at her thumb nail, chipping at the gel, Juju making a mental note to get one of her manicurists over before Fame left. “Right.”

Juju guessed that was the end of it, and began to rack her brain for other topics she could bring up. Had she told her about the twins’ disastrous first piano lesson yet? 

“How is she doing?” Fame asked suddenly. “Is she…How is she?”

“Well, I think…” Juju faltered. She figured that tempered honesty would probably be the best option here. “She’s dealing with it, I think. She understands that you’re mad, so…” 

Fame nodded, and Juju took a deep breath. If not now, while she was trapped in this chair, then when? Fame needed to know the truth. 

“Look,” Juju carefully picked up a strand of hair, “I was just as skeptical of this relationship as the rest of you. But… I’ve never seen Bianca like this before, around anyone. They seem…pretty happy.” 

Fame’s eyes darkened for a moment, and Juju wondered if, pregnant or not, she was about to be on the receiving end of a hissyfit. 

“I know you’re not Courtney’s biggest fan,” she continued, realizing that she may as well just lay it all out there, “And I’m by no means telling you not to be angry, but… I think they really compliment each other. I think…whatever it is, it’s real.” 

Fame pressed her lips together, clearly not believing a word Juju was saying. 

“You asked, and I know you might not want to hear that, but-” 

“I’m not a monster, despite what some people may think.” Fame was really digging into the gel, half her nail gone. “I don’t, I don’t wish her unhappiness, but I can’t-“ Fame looked up, their eyes meeting in the mirror, her hair limp and wet and half cut. “It doesn’t make sense. Any of it, why she’d choose some she barely know- We’ve always, I’ve always mattered, it’s- You saw what happened at the Christmas dinner.“

It was a widely known fact within the group that Fame had abandonment issues, that she, even now, decades down the line, had moments of deep-seated fear that everyone would leave.

Juju could have pointed out that even Bianca could be pushed to the edge, that there were healthier ways to deal with your issues than always attacking first, but she wasn’t going to push any more, not now, instead, she reached over Fame’s shoulder and into her lap, gently grabbing her hands and prying them apart. 

“The universe works in mysterious ways.” Juju looked in the mirror, giving Fame what she hoped was a reassuring smile. She didn’t believe in the destiny bullshit, higher powers and fate nonsense that Fame was always spouting, but if it helped a friend, Juju wasn’t above utilizing it. “Or I’ll just pop out a kid and force everyone to kiss and make up at the hospital.”

“Oh yeah?” Fame raised an eyebrow, “I’m not sure new mom privilege counts when it’s the fourth-“

“It does,” Juju grinned, “And I’ll unleash hell on anyone who crosses me.” 

***

“Omigod, I love it!” Courtney squealed, spinning around. They were in Bianca’s office, where one of the Marie Claire stylists was helping her pick an outfit for that afternoon, when she was meeting with Latrice and the marketing team at the label. She’d been so full of nerves that morning that Bianca suggested the dress-up session as a distraction. 

Bianca looked up from her computer. Courtney was in a pale pink halter top, covered in large iridescent paillettes. She and Dan had paired it with matching shorts and a jacket lined with hot pink satin, and high heeled pink Timberland boots. She looked cute as hell, but it was a lot for a business meeting during the day. 

“What do you think?” Courtney asked with a sunny smile, once their eyes met. 

“I think it’s great. But…you don’t like the blue?” 

Courtney’s gaze shifted to the sofa, where an electric-blue A-line dress with red piping lay discarded with a few other rejects. It was definitely more appropriate for where she was going, but the way her face fell, Bianca knew that it wouldn’t be right. 

“Sorry, I just have a thing for you in that color,” Bianca added quickly, then grinned and said, “You look perfect.” 

“Yeah?” Courtney fingered one of her sparkling rhinestone hoop earrings, biting her lip. “Because if you think it’s not-” 

“It’s you, and you’re perfect, so…it’s perfect,” Bianca insisted, finally causing her brilliant smile to return. “Add a necklace and you’re good to go.” 

“Thanks,” she giggled. “I was gonna wear this one.” 

She held up one of her Christmas presents…a D&G gold chain decorated with stars and music notes. Of course that’s what she’d choose. Bianca smiled again. 

“Gorgeous.” She stepped forward to help her fasten it, then turned to Dan, saying, “Thanks for your help.” 

“Anytime,” he chuckled, returning items to the rolling rack. “She’s a lot more fun than most of the people I deal with.” 

Bianca presses a kiss to Courtney’s cheek. “So…we’ve got a little time before you have to leave. Do you wanna swing by the set with me? We’re doing the Galactica makeup editorial today.” 

“Oh, I…” Courtney’s smile faded at the mention of her old company. 

“Don’t worry, Fame and Raja aren’t there.” 

“Oh, okay…but the makeup team is?” she asked hopefully.  

“They are. And, you know who else? Your friend Tatianna.” 

“Really?!” Courtney’s eyes widened. “That’s amazing, omigod! She must be so excited!” 

“So, whaddaya say?” Bianca offered her arm and Courtney took it gladly. 

“Lead the way.”

***

Raven looked at herself in the mirror, lips turned down in a frown. She was in a studio at Marie Claire for the Galactica makeup editorial, and while her face looked impeccable, shimmery blues from their spring palettes making her eyes pop, and a deep rosy blush highlighting her cheekbones, the clothes were all wrong. She’d always had to be careful with neutrals—the wrong beige could make her skin look sallow, and this was definitely the wrong beige. 

She removed the clothes carefully, putting them back on the hanger. Sutan had given her an earful about being on her best behavior because of the whole Bianca situation, so she’d been sure to arrive early, getting heaps of praise from Kim and Alaska for how fantastic her skin looked when she sat in the chair. She’d even managed to exchange some vague pleasantries with Bianca, who’d been blessedly out of sight after a brief check-in. 

She tied her silk robe closed and picked up the rejected outfit, stepping out from behind the partition to hand it to the British girl who’d given it to her—who must have been a new designer, since she didn’t recognize her. 

“This doesn’t work for me,” she stated. “I need you to pull something with warmer tones.” 

“Um…” British girl blinked at her, slightly frozen. 

“Please,” Raven added with a flutter of lashes. 

“How’s this, Raven?” April jumped in, showing her another top, this one an open-weave sweater. 

She reached for it, then shook her head. “It’s still too cool. I know that there are a lot of blues in the makeup, but I really need something with more gold.” 

“Uh…okay…” April pawed through the racks, brow furrowed. “Don’t worry, we’ll find something.”

“Ms. Petruschin? Alaska would like to see you in makeup again,” said a tiny assistant with a clipboard. 

“Sure. April, why don’t you pull a couple of things and come find me?” Raven said. The British girl was still staring at her like she was the biggest diva bitch on the planet, so she added, “I’m really not trying to be difficult, but this is a makeup shoot, so I don’t think anyone wants me looking sickly.” 

“Of course not!” April replied with a smile, nudging the British girl’s shoulder. “We’ll be right over, don’t worry.”  

Raven followed the assistant back to the makeup area, sighing. This shoot was already proving a little chaotic, and they hadn’t begun yet. The assistant directed her to a makeup chair beside a group of giggling babies from Elite who hushed up the second she sat down. As the least experienced here, they’d been here for a few hours, had already taken some test shots. Raven was relieved that she didn’t have to do that sort of thing anymore. 

She only recognized one of them, a stunning girl named Symone who was already the talk of the town, and gave her a smile. 

She wouldn’t lie—it made her feel good, the way the baby models worshiped her, even feared her. But there was also a nagging worry in the back of her mind—every year, the new girls got younger, which meant she was getting older. She tried to put that thought out of her head as Alaska and Kim approached, looking over Amy’s work carefully. 

“She looks great,” Alaska said, then turned to Kim and asked, “Do you think we should blend the eye up a bit more?” 

It was something Raven was used to by now, having people talk about her face and body as if she wasn’t there. 

“Mmmhmm. Amy, can you add some more ‘Acid Wash’ to blend her out in this direction?” Kim motioned, and Amy nodded, getting right to work. 

“While she’s here, let’s also get her hair done,” Alaska said, beckoning one of the hair stylists over. 

While the two of them worked, another model that Raven recognized, a redhead from IMG named Sarah or Sally or something like that, walked over and took the chair beside her. She gave her a little wave, and the girl’s face brightened.

“Raven! Oh wow, I’m so happy to see you here!” she chirped. “Congrats on your engagement.” 

“Thank you, darling,” Raven said smoothly, when someone entering the studio caught her eye and the gracious smile on her face turned into a sneer. “Ugh, not this today.” 

Bianca had just strolled in with Courtney on her arm, wearing the most ridiculous pink underaged slut outfit and smiling like the moron she was. One of the baby models jumped up squealing and ran over to them. Of course Courtney would know her—it wasn’t enough that she was getting to live it up in Bianca’s penthouse herself, now she was using the connections to bring along all her trashy friends, too. 

“What’s wrong?” the redhead asked. 

Raven turned towards her with an eye roll, causing the hair stylist to hurry to move with her. “Well, Bianca brought her latest little sugar baby, and she’s even more of a disaster than usual.” 

“Wait, really?” she craned her neck to see. 

“Yeah. She’s the one in sequins. During the day. Is she a literal prostitute?” Raven scoffed. “Apparently yes, because that’s the only explanation for that.” 

“She does look a bit…” 

“She’s an absolute idiot. And like, of course I don’t care. Bianca can fuck whatever little wannabe she wants, and she does, but it’s just so disappointing. I mean have some taste.” 

“But you’re like, friends with Bianca, right?” she giggled. 

“Yeah, I am, I guess. I’m not too pleased with her at the moment. First of all, they ruined my vacation a few weeks ago with a bunch of drama that I won’t even get into because I’m still furious. She’s pissed off everyone in our group because she’s spending all her time and energy on a girl whose personality is literally nonexistent. She’s basically what you’d get if you crossed a confused blink with a baby deer. Have you seen her try to walk in heels? She’s tragic. Maybe that’s why she’s wearing those hideous shoes with her sequins. And my fiancée says she’s criminally stupid, too. I’ll be extremely relieved when Bianca comes out of whatever spell she’s under and kicks her gold-digging ass to the curb!” 

While Raven spoke, the redhead’s eyes got bigger and bigger, the look of delight on her face dissolving into fear, her gaze fixed over Raven’s shoulder. Now that Raven was done ranting, she was about to turn to see what was freaking her out, when she saw April coming towards them carrying a bunch of wardrobe options, which at a glance seemed much better. 

“Hi Raven, I have some more choices for you. Do you want to look-” 

“That won’t be necessary,” growled a deep voice. 

April stopped dead in her tracks, and finally Raven figured out who must be standing behind her, who was making the redhead look like she was about to shit her pants. She glanced over her shoulder to see Bianca, glaring. Oops. Raven tossed her head, trying to play it off as no big deal. 

“Oh, hi Bianca. Didn’t see you there.” 

“Get off. My set.”

[purplesurveys]

1447

1. When was the last time you shaved your legs? It may have been last Friday before we drove off to Zambales for the weekend.

2. What were you doing this morning at 8am? I was either scrolling through social media in bed or doing a survey.

3. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Cleaning up Kimi’s accident in my room and putting together my stuff so I can go up the rooftop to take this now.

4. What are you wearing? I have a purple shirt on and a pair of black shorts.

5. Are you mad at anyone right now? I’m mad at the weather but not at any person, no.

6. The last person to say they loved you? My mom, I think. 7. Last time you had sex? Sometime in 2020, I don’t remember exactly when anymore.

8. Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile? I don’t have Myspace and that hasn’t been around for a while now.

9. Last thing received in the mail? Our electricity bill, if my memory serves me well.

10. Do you have any famous relatives? Not famous as in celebrities, but I have a link to local politics and am related to certain figures who’ve been involved in my country’s history.

11. Have you ever had sex in a public place? Not with any people around, I think. < Same.

12. Have you ever been searched by the cops? I have not.

13. How is your hair? Color-wise I definitely need to dye it soon because my roots are growing like they’ve never grown before, lmao; length-wise I think it can still hold out for a bit longer; and condition-wise it needs a wash, which I’ll do tonight after dinner.

14. How many different drinks have you had today? Just two, coffee and water. I feel like having chocolate milk though so I plan on having a glass of that tonight with dinner.

15. What have you eaten today? Leftover pompano, crab salad sandwich, French fries, and a couple of gummy worms.

16. Are you any good at math? I can be good at it, like there are topics I genuinely enjoyed covering like algebra, geometry, and stat. I’m completely rubbish at calc and trig though.

17. Do you have plans on Friday night? No and I’d rather stay home since that would be my dad’s last evening with us - he leaves first thing Saturday morning next week. I might take my family out to dinner as a last hurrah, we’ll see.

18. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No. I do write and draw stuff on the sand a lot when I find myself at the beach; it just never happens to be my name.

19. Last kiss? September something, year and a half ago.

20. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? I’ve never tried doing that and don’t think I ever would.

21. Do you like the ocean? I love it, it’s one of my favorite places to be.

22. Do you stay friends with your ex's? Nopes.

23. What are you excited about? Dinner, I’m fucking starving. And the two holidays that’ll be happening in the next two weeks hahaha yay for 4-day work weeks!

24. What did you do last night? I just watched a whole list of BTS videos in the living room with my parents and played with the dogs; then I tried out my new oil diffuser once I got settled in my room later on in the evening. It was a bit of a lowkey Friday evening, which was fine with me as I had a pretty hectic schedule last weekend. 

25. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive? No, my last living great-grandma died in 2010.

26. Where do you keep your change? I have a section in my wallet where I keep the coins.

27. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life? Probably not the most but I can pull up a couple of memories off the top of my head.

28. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? I mean it’s always nice to do it with someone else but I also don’t mind being alone now.

29. What was the weather like on your birthday? Scorchingly hot but I was in the living room with the aircon on all day so I wasn’t too bothered.

30. Would you have sex with someone on your friends list? No, not with any one of my friends now.

[already-asleep]

I am writing this on the 24th of April 2014. Liverpool are 3 games away from Premier League Victory, lead by Steven Gerrard. I have dots on my hand, helping Sophie plan her tattoo. I watched She's out of my League today with Joel and we played Table-Tennis too, he's gotten better since last time, I'm still better though. I gave Tessa a fright, using Simon's, 'Badger dying from small ants' noise. I am reading, 'The Affair', a Jack Reacher book, by Lee Child. My youngest sister (so far) isn't born yet, but only a few weeks from now will she be here. I've done a few of these things. Written my future self messages. I'm not sure why, probably because I'm scared of what will happen in the future, after school. I'm good at seeming to not be scared of future events, maybe too good. That is a bad thing, I think. But I don't know how to change it, so I guess I'll continue to be subconsciously scared. I literally have no idea what I am going to do after school. Will I do photography? Will I work on James' boat? It'd be far easier to take the latter option and do photography on the side, because really, I don't like photographing what others want me to do, I like to do my own thing, usually architectural but sometimes nature, just anything without people really... I feel people usually ruin a photo. I'm not saying I don't like a photo of a nice lady. But I'd much rather take a photo of a building, they're not awkward, they're not talkative, they don't look at you as you photograph them, they stand there, still as stone, rain or sun, ever lone. There are so many different sorts of buildings, much more than people, no matter what clothes people wear, they look relatively similar, you can always tell they're human. Some buildings look like animals, some look like squares, circles or triangles. Some look like hats, some look like hats. A building can be so simple yet complex and it sounds cliché but it's true, plain is perfect. My name is Drayden Aplin-Cowan, I am 17 and if I have figured this scheduling thing out correctly, this should be posted exactly ten years from now. Hello future self and followers.

[eldritch-study-initiative]

Eldritch Study Initiative - Interview #1

Name: Melanie Brooks

Age: 25

Sex: F

Pronouns: She/Her/Hers

Interviewing Doctor: Amnesia Torres

Transcript Of Interview: 

Amnesia Torres: Hello there Melanie. Can you please introduce yourself? 

Melanie Brooks: I suppose. My name’s Melanie Brooks, I’m 25 years old, and I own the old gas station outside of town. 

AT: Wonderful. Now, you claim to be being haunted. Can you elaborate on that a bit?

MB: I bought the old Gas Station about a year ago or so, give or take a month. A few months after that strange Graffiti started to appear on the walls after hours. It didn’t even cross my mind that it could be a haunting. Thought it was a one-off thing too. Just cleaned it up and went back to work.

AT: What did you think it was originally?

MB: Teenagers or something. Especially when it kept appearing thought the local miscreants  were causing me some trouble for laughs. Didn’t even really register that the Graffiti was less like some Teenagers doing vandalism and more like the scribbling of a child.

AT: What was this Graffiti of? You’ve said it was like the scribbling of a child, but I’d like to know more.

MB: Most of it was in crayon. There were a lot of just, coloured scribbles. Some drawings of a big stick figure holding hands with a smaller stick figure. The one that really worried me was the writing though. Well. The attempt at writing. 

AT: What did it say?

MB: It was hard to decipher, but I’m sure that the two most repeating words were my name, Melanie, and my little sister’s name, Emily.

AT: You mentioned this little sister in your original call to me. Can you tell me more about her?

MB: Yeah. She was about 12 years younger than me. Pale, brown hair, blue eyes. Loved My Little Pony. I ran away from home when I was 20. Wish I could have brought her with me. But I was in such a hurry to leave that I just. Thought she would be fine. And my hurry cost my little sister her life.

AT: What happened?

MB: That’s personal Dr Torres.

AT: Ah. Of course. I won’t pressure you to talk about it if you don’t want to.

MB: Thank you. It’s appreciated. As I was saying. It took me ages to realize what the Graffiti meant. After interrogating the local teenagers, I figured out they didn’t do it, and realized I was being haunted. It took me longer still to realize who it was that was haunting me. At that point, I didn’t know she had died. 

*At this point MB broke into tears and took several minutes to collect herself*

MB: I’m really sorry about that. I’ll try to get back on track. I couldn’t see her until I knew who she was. I tried to see her on multiple occasions before I knew who she was. But only after I realized I could see her. I’ve been talking to her as much as possible and trying to take care of her like she’s just a normal kid. I think she deserves that. It took her a while to tell me how she’d died but eventually she managed to tell me. I won’t be sharing anything about that, it’s a family matter. But she’s happy now. We’re a family.

AT: I’m glad she’s happy now. Can you tell me, have there been any noticeable changes in your behavior that your or people around you have noticed?

MB: The only one I can think of is that I became very fixated on finding out who she was for a few months. After I found out it was her I stopped obsessing over it and pretty much returned to normal.

AT: While intense fixation is often a symptom of Eldritch Madness, this doesn’t seem anything out of the ordinary, and it’s only natural of one to be obsessed in that situation. I think the chances of you having Eldritch Madness are relatively low. If anything changes in your behavior in a way that implicates Eldritch Madness you are welcome to schedule a follow up interview. Thank you for your time. 

MB: You’re welcome. I may reach out and schedule an interview for Emily if she is willing. 

*Interview ends*