#i'll also add the playlists to the final post so those will finally be out soon too !

[vocaloid-song-showdown]

the poll for how to arrange the brackets just finished with proceeding as originally planned winning!

so, without further ado, here are the lineups ^^

note :: songs with a * next to them may require a content warning. i'll provide specific warnings as soon as i have the time, but as of now please proceed with caution

main matchup bracket ::

alice of human sacrifice* by yugami p / fear garden* by chaa

magnet by minato p / romeo and cinderella by doriko

world is mine by ryo / world's end dancehall by wowaka

triple baka by lamaze p / the disappearance of hatsune miku by cosmo p

meltdown by iroha(sasaki) / luka luka★night fever by samfree

fire◎flower by halyosy / trick and treat by oster project

daughter of evil by mothy / dancing★samurai by kanimiso p

rolling girl by wowaka / matryoshka by hachi

madness of duke venomania* by mothy / alluring secret ~black vow~ by hitoshizuku x yama

senbonzakura by kurousa / outer science by jin

doubleganger by kulfiq / mikusabbath by utsu p

jinsei reset button by kemu / common world domination by pinnochio p

the fox's wedding* by masa works design / tokio funka by takamatt

heat haze days by jin / patchwork staccato by toa

six trillion years and an overnight story by kemu / lost one's weeping by neru

aishite aishite aishite by kikuo / echo by crusher p

setsuna drive by taki yoshimitsu / yoake to hotatu by n buna

a fake fake psychotropic by kairiki bear / therefore you and me by tadanoco

my r* by kurage p / i'm glad youre evil too by pinnochio p

chururira chururira dadada by kurage p / mkdr by deco*27

blessed messiah and the tower of ai by hitoshizuku x yama / 86 by dasu

law evading rock by neru / nakakapagpabagabag by dasu

sand planet by hachi / ghost rule by deco*27

monster by kira / hated by life itself by iori kanzaki

cause i'm a liar by mcki robyns p / honey i'm home by ghost

hole dwelling by kikuo / bring it on by giga

meteor by divela / seraphim on the ring by mitchie m

the court jester by thquib / casino by azari

king by kanaria / villain by teniwoha

lower by lanndo / phony by tsumiki

higanbana milk tea by vane / scapegoat by ghost

queen by kanaria / bug by kairiki bear

honorable mention bracket ::

electric angel by yasuo p (original), giga (giga arrange) / freely tomorrow by mitchie m

po pi po by lamaze p / go google it by wintermint p

black★rock shooter by ryo / bacterial contamination by kanimiso p

i like you, i love you by gevanni p / first love academy • school of true love by nem

(also a quick general note ! i don't have everything ready for a formal polished reveal at the time of posting this. i plan on updating this post with links to the songs and also a visual bracket when i have the time. they'll definitely be up soon, so make sure to check back in a bit for them ^^

i'll also make sure that reblogs are turned on for the final version!)

[btsgotjams27]

this is us ~ jjk | 18

you're dreading the meeting in LA, but it's a big city. you're not gonna bump into jungkook, are you?

✨ title: this is us | (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, best friend's brother ✨ playlist | ✨ if you haven't read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) ✨ a/n: naurrrr--this means the series will be ending soon, but yesss---jk and oc will finally come face to face after a year apart! how will it go down? what's gonna happen? 👀 ✨ a/n 2: thank you to those who have sent in words for the little game. those words will be in bold throughout the rest of the chapters. we still have a podcast episode to celebrate the end of this story and you'll be able to send in questions and comments (a form link will be up when i post the last chapter :')) i'll also have a survey for y'all too :) as always, please leave a like, reblog, send an ask. i'd love to hear your thoughts.

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] | next ✨ drabble ~ dream bigger, darling

chapter eighteen ~ you're seeing things, aren't you? | wc: 10.9k warnings: there will be a lot of talking, mild language, oc’s friends being loveable dummies, light insecurity, heart flutters, language, drinking, sleazy slimeballs, some touching, a slap to the face, unresolved feelings, insecure jk & oc, bamie is hereeee, love confessions, our babies are growing up and taking things slow, they both get on their knees (you'll understand why when u read), delicate first kiss that turns into a heated one, they're both h*rny but remember they're taking thing slow, smol erection bc hello they're together again, jk is tame and controls himself?? (WHUTTTT) but oc needs a lil bit more from him, bittersweet goodbyes (for now)

The impending meeting was coming up at the end of the week. Your agent, Jae, wouldn't take no for an answer and immediately responded to the Netflix executive, saying you’d take the meeting. If the meeting was anywhere else in the world, you wouldn’t hesitate, but the fact that you had to fly out to LA for this made you feel reluctant.

And when everyone heard you’d be in LA, the only topic of conversation was if you were planning to see he-who-must-not-be-named.

"Will you tell Jungkook you're in town?" Hyunie asked as she cut through her French toast covered in Nutella and strawberries. Taehyung leaned over to take a bite from her fork, but she refused to let him have any.

Yoongi sat, wavering his fingers together. “Oh—the plot thickens. Dun, dun, dun.”

He’d become too comfortable knowing your business and complained that he knew too much for his own good. He was cool with you, but his lifestyle was too chill to mesh with everyone else’s dramatics, including yours. Though he works in the movie business, that didn’t mean he wanted his life to be like a goddamn drama.

“Wouldn’t that be weird? To meet up with an ex?” you asked with reluctance as you searched your friend’s faces for any words of advice.

It’d be nice to catch up, you thought, but what if old feelings resurface? Then what? You’d be screwed and have to start from square one again. You had gotten too far to return to the sad, pathetic person you once were.

Hyunie interjects, “Of course not! You’re friends too.”

You deadpanned. “I haven’t spoken to him in over a year–and I’d hardly call us friends.”

Honestly, could you even go back to being just friends? How were you supposed to be friends with your ex-slash-best-friends-little-brother? How can anyone return to being just friends after being with someone like Jeon Jungkook? You could hardly keep your friends now and then to add an ex as a friend? It sounded like a recipe for disaster.

With a mouth full of strawberries, Tae threw in his two cents. “Just go see him. What’s the worst that can happen? You gonna sleep with him?” He smirked and grabbed another bright red strawberry. This conversation amused him for days, making smart comments and occasionally alluding to what the two of you used to have.

“Really, Tae?” You rolled your eyes, sipping your coffee. You’d like to think you had some kind of self-control.

“What? I’m just being realistic here. The two of you probably have all that pent-up sexual frustration, and who knows—you might not be able to contain yourselves if you’re in the same room.” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows and then bit down his bottom lip, thrusting and slapping the air while in his seat. Hyunie elbowed him in his rib, causing him to groan at the pain. She whispered something indistinct to him, and the two bickered quietly.

You turned to Yoongi. He was always wise and had the right answers. “What should I do?”

You interrupted him just as he was about to sip his coffee. His lips thinned, and he stared blankly at you. “Why are you asking me?”

“Because you’re the most unbiased person here, and you don’t know Jungkook like we do.”

Yoongi shrugged. “I don’t know. Do whatever you want. If you want to see him, go see him. If you don’t, then don’t. It’s as simple as that.”

Everyone turned their attention to you, wondering how you’d respond. It wasn't as simple as Yoongi had said. The weight of your previous relationship with Jungkook wasn’t one where you could simply put it behind you and pretend like you could be friends again. There was too much history, too much hurt—just too much of everything. You tried to convince yourself for months that there were no more feelings.

And you had made so much progress, minus being upset when you heard he was in town—but regardless, you had moved on, and seeing Jungkook again could set you back a few steps.

Yoongi set down his knife and fork and turned to you. “You’re a big girl, and you’ve worked through a lot of things, and if you don’t think you can handle seeing him again, then don’t put yourself in that situation. I'm sure he’d understand.”

“Or—or—you could just fuc—”

Hyunie covered Taehyung’s mouth, muffling the rest of his sentence. “Don’t listen to my crazy husband. Do what you think is best for you, okay?”

After brunch with the crazy lovebirds, you sat in Yoongi’s car, staring aimlessly out the window, and said nothing the entire car ride.

As he pulled up to your apartment complex, you needed to ask him again. “Tell me the truth. What would you do in my position?”

He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. He knew you needed reassurance, but honestly, there was no right answer for this situation.

“Well, considering that I’ve gotten to know you over this past year, I'd say that it’s gonna eat at you day and night if you don’t reach out to him. You’ll wonder, ‘what could’ve been’ or ‘what if I did X, Y, and Z?’ You’re good at compartmentalizing, but I have a feeling ten years down the line, you’re gonna be upset at yourself. So, I don’t know, as I said earlier if you want to see him, go see him. If you don’t, then don’t. Whatever you choose will be the right decision.”

But what was the right decision? You thought of all the possible scenarios that could play out. What if you call to meet up, and he doesn’t want to? Or what if you meet up and it’s awkward? Or what if you meet up and old feelings resurface?

You were thankful for Yoongi and glad he could always be honest with you. With his advice in consideration, along with everyone else’s minus Kim Taehyung’s, you pondered your next move as you tossed and turned in bed.

Should you try and meet up with Jungkook? But you were doing so well. You had deleted his number, photos, and texts, and if you wanted his new number, you’d have to ask Yuna, and you wouldn’t hear the end of it from her if you did.

Maybe it’d be easier to just not try to see him. You were sure he was doing well, living in LA, doing whatever he was doing, seeing whomever he wanted. You just didn’t want to return to feeling insecure and vulnerable, and you had worked so hard to be where you are today. Maybe it’d be better if you didn’t tell him you were in town.

A non-stop flight from Seoul to LA was close to eleven hours, but you wished it was longer. The lower the flight time, the higher your anxiety rises. Los Angeles was a big city, and there was no way you’d bump into Jungkook, right? That’s a ridiculous thought to have. You’d have a higher chance of bumping into a celebrity than your ex. You were just psyching yourself out at this point, and there was no need to because you decided not to tell him you’d be in town.

After eleven hours on a flight and only six hours of sleep, you hoped you’d bump into no one. Your swollen ankles and puffy eyes were horrendous for anyone to see. But here you were—in Los Angeles, where many dreams came to fruition or never saw the light of day, and you were hoping for the latter, whatever that dream may be. You were curious about what Netflix had to offer and if it would require you to move here. Though, you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself, thinking about the what-ifs because nothing was set in stone.

Being a huge corporation, Netflix paid for everything—the flight, hotel, and transportation. Not too shabby, especially since they were trying to woo you into whatever job this was. They booked a corner suite at the Conrad Los Angeles, overlooking the city's skyline. The hustle and bustle of city life were similar but different from Seoul and could possibly be a place where you’d have to get used to.

The luxe Mercedes Benz E-Class you were sitting in pulled up behind the slew of cars from other hotel guests. This felt too fancy from anything you were used to, but you weren’t complaining.

You bid your driver farewell and thanked them as he pulled your luggage from the trunk and set it beside you. Just as you grabbed the handle, a driver behind you honked, gesturing for you to move out of the way. You jumped back, your heart racing as the loud horn continued in short outbursts until you stepped onto the hotel’s sidewalk.

God, this city sucks already, you thought, and you hadn’t even been here for that long, either. Brushing off the awful interaction, you breathed a big breath, ready to take on whatever this trip had in store for you.

“Miss? I’ll need a form of ID and a credit card to put on file.”

You handed what the front desk receptionist needed from you. Now, you understood all the buzz and why this was the hot spot. The hotel was gorgeous and a great place to hang out, even if you weren’t a guest.

As the receptionist input your information, your eyes scanned the lobby, taking everything in. A rowdy group of men exited one of the hotel restaurants, entering the lobby. You noticed a man in a monochromatic cream-colored outfit. You appreciate a man who was put together.

After catching a glimpse of him, you could’ve sworn your eyes were deceiving you. No, it wasn’t him. You were seeing things, weren’t you?

This city was far too big for you to end up at the same hotel as your ex-boyfriend, right? Destiny was definitely being a prude and playing tricks on you.

“Here’s your ID and card back. You’re located on the 16th floor, room 1613.”

“Thank you.”

When you grabbed your ID, card, and luggage, you turned around to ensure you were imagining things. The group of men had disappeared and was nowhere to be found. But you shouldn’t be looking for Jungkook anyway. You decided not to tell him you were in town. Wouldn’t you look pathetic going back on your word?

But instead of going directly to your room, you might have ‘taken the long route,’ cruising through the hotel—just to see what they had to offer. Though, who were you kidding? That person definitely looked like Jungkook! Except he had longer hair, and you hadn’t seen any recent photos of Jungkook, so you had no idea if he had shaved his head or had long, glorious hair like Rapunzel.

You would’ve lurked longer, but now you felt super creepy and stalker-ish, and your large rollaway luggage wasn’t helping either. Maybe it was time to give up; you had been looking longer than you should’ve.

If there was one thing that could possibly make up for the shitty interaction from the furious man honking away like there was no tomorrow—it was the view. The city skyline and clear blue skies with only a few scattered marshmallow-type clouds floating around.

The room was too big for just one person, and you weren’t sure what to do with yourself to kill time before your big meeting. So, you quickly freshen up to roam around the five-star hotel. You had nothing better to do, save for the fact that you needed to find that guy again, just to make sure it wasn’t Jungkook.

And as you expected, this hotel was packed with people. The restaurant's decor and view were stunning, to say the least. You didn’t want to keep going back and forth between the various choices of restaurants, so you stuck with the first place you saw, Agua Viva.

A small commotion turned your head; your eyes focused on it for a split second before returning your attention to the host. You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry. Yes, a seat at the bar is great. Thank you.”

You scanned the drink menu, pondering the various choices before you. Alcohol or no alcohol—such a hard decision. Well, considering you were going to an important meeting, it was probably best not to be tipsy, or it could calm your nerves.

“Hello, miss. What’ll you have?”

It was a toss-up between the Tornup Tiki Punch or Flamingo Shuttle. What silly names they were.

“I’ll have a Flamingo Shuttle, please.”

Non-alcoholic it is.

“One Flamingo Shuttle coming right up.”

You tapped on the square napkin before you, swiveling your chair back and forth, taking in the surroundings of light laughter and chatter, before returning your attention to the bartender making your drink.

In a city of 3.8 million people, it was stupid to think you had seen Jungkook. Maybe you just wanted it to be him and desperately tried to speak it into existence. You probably had a better chance of bumping into a Kardashian than Jeon Jungkook.

“Is this seat taken?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before turning around to confirm your suspicions about the familiar voice.

It’s like time stood still; everything and everyone quieted down, and it was only you and him. He was like a stranger from a different lifetime staring back at you, but everything you felt while with him came rushing back like a flood.

“Jungkook.” His name rolled off your lips in a familiar way you couldn’t explain. It had such a hold on you, pulling you right back like a lovesick puppy.

“Noona,” he said with his big brown, doe eyes crinkling in the corner, along with a bunny smile.

The one word made you clench around nothing, but it’s just a word–what’s wrong with you? Honestly, woman.

“Is this seat taken?” He repeated, making you come back to reality.

“No, it’s yours if you’d like.”

You watched his every move. His hand held your stool, and his thumb lightly brushed against your back as he sat down. Immediately, you straighten your posture in case of any other accidental touches.

Jungkook crossed his arms on the counter, turning to you. The both of you smiled awkwardly, waiting for someone to say something.

“I thought I saw you,” the both of you said in unison and chuckled after.

“It’s me,” you scrunch your nose, flashing a smile.

Jungkook shook his head, copying your smile. “I thought I was going crazy for a split second. Wha–” he paused to let his mind catch up with his words. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for a meeting.”

He nodded. “Oh. It must be an important meeting if you flew all the way out here.”

You hummed. “Yeah, it’s pretty important.”

Should you spare more details? Or just leave it at the bare minimum? You didn’t want him to conjure up any ideas as you had been for the last few weeks.

“Your Flamingo Shuttle, miss. Would you like to bill it to your room?”

“Yes, please.” If Netflix was paying, you were drinking.

You lightly groaned after taking a sip, not realizing you’d been thirsty after flying all day, or was it Jungkook’s presence making you feel suddenly parched?

“Anything for you, sir?” The bartender asked Jungkook, to which he shook his head no.

“It’s good to see you,” Jungkook said as the bartender left to attend to another guest.

Your crossed leg unintentionally touched his pant leg when you turned toward him. You took your time letting your eyes gaze over this new Jeon Jungkook. His permed hair had grown longer, and a fringe was swept softly across his left eye. The piercing that adorned his eyebrow had disappeared, and the only thing decorating that pretty face was a lip piercing.

“It’s really good to see you too. You look great, by the way. I love the long hair. It really suits you.” You couldn’t help but wonder how his hair would feel entangled between your fingers.

He proceeded to touch the ends. “Thanks. You–you always look great,” he chuckled lightly.

Your heart skipped a beat at the compliment as you suppressed a smile. “Thanks. I–um, do you have time to catch up? If you’re not busy, that is, but if you are, then please feel free to go. I don’t–I don’t want to keep you from anything.”

“I have some time,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes and his tiny dimple on display.

Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as you made it in your head. You were overanalyzing nothing. Jungkook seemed happy to see you, even though you thought he’d be running in the other direction, considering he had left on a whim.

“Um, do you work around here?”

“Yeah, I was just getting some early drinks with my colleagues.”

Your mind immediately went to Alex, which you fucking hated, but you couldn’t help it. Obviously, she wasn’t with the group of him and rowdy men, but you assumed they still worked together, and who knew in what kind of capacity–or maybe she had him eating in the palm of her hands again.

You stopped the ongoing conversation in your head. It wasn’t good for anyone if this continued.

“This is a great place. I can see why you’d come here.” He hummed in agreement. “How–how are you? How’s everything?”

Jungkook cleared his throat, interlocking his hands together, light tapping his thumb on the other. “It’s good. I’m—good. Work has been going well. I, uh—I’ve taken up running along with boxing, but Bam–he’s a handful.”

“Bam?”

“Yeah! My dog.”

“You have a dog?”

“He’s still a pup, but he’s getting so big already.” Jungkook pulled his phone from his back pocket, scrolling to find a photo of Bam. “See.” He set his phone on the counter, pushing it to you.

“Oh, my god. He’s precious! He has big doe eyes like his dad,” your mouth curved into a smile. “He’s perfect for you.”

Jungkook cleared his throat, pressing the off button on his phone. “How are you? What’s new?”

His question was so broad you weren’t sure where to start. He obviously knew about your meeting but didn’t know what it was for. But how much information would you feel comfortable divulging?

“I’m good.” You let out a nervous chuckle. “I just got back from a solo trip, and then this whole LA thing happened, and now I’m here.”

“Ah–right. Yuna told me about your trip. How was it? Did you enjoy yourself?”

You nodded. “It was great. I practically laid out on the beach most of the time, got some sun in,” you smiled and shrugged. “And what about you? I heard you were back in Seoul for a little bit.”

He hummed. “Yeah, for my mom’s birthday dinner, and I finally got to meet Indie.”

“Ugh, I love that little booger,” you chimed in.

“She’s amazing, and she’s growing up so fast.”

“Right? She grew up in a blink of an eye.”

Then you realized Jungkook had missed most, if not the entirety, of Indie's first year. Time had passed, and you had also grown and blossomed without your awareness in the midst of it all.

Jungkook beamed a soft smile.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” you asked again, searching for the bartender.

He shook his head. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Positive?” You gave him a look.

He nodded. “Still trying to take care of me?”

“Well–I am older than you.”

Jungkook chuckled and turned away for a moment. “I, uh, already had some earlier, remember? So, I shouldn’t have anymore.”

“What? You can’t hold your liquor anymore, old man?” you teased.

He scoffed at your lame joke. “Are you taunting me?”

It almost felt like old times when you were just friends, ragging on each other.

You sipped your drink before answering, “Yes.”

He flashed a close-lipped smile. “Can I take a rain check?”

You hummed lightly. “You got it.”

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck and swiveled in his chair, lightly brushing his knee against yours. “Do you have my new number?”

You bit the inside of your cheek. No, because you recently deleted all his contact, texts, and photos. You shook your head.

He held out his hand, wavering his fingers for your phone. You gave it over without hesitation and watched as he saved his number. “Call me if you need anything or want to get that drink before you leave.”

He handed it back, his fingers softly touching yours. “I should go. I left Bam too long by himself.”

Your heart almost leaped out of your chest and onto the counter, your stomach fluttering with a swarm of butterflies and the bead of sweat on the nape of your neck finally caressing your skin when he touched you. “Yeah, sure, of course.” You nervously scratched your temple. “I, uh, I should get going too. I have my meeting soon.”

Jungkook smiled and stood, and you followed suit. He stepped back, straightening his cream-colored jacket and smoothing down his pants. “I’ll talk to you soon?”

You weren’t sure if he really meant it or if it was just an expression. Either way, you didn’t want to put more meaning into it than needed. You smiled and hummed.

He stepped away, waving his hand before walking off into the sea of people who just entered the restaurant.

You half expected him to look back, but he didn’t. He was calm, cool, and collected as he confidently walked away, making you think he was over you.

Jungkook sat in his Uber, pinching himself to ensure he wasn’t dreaming–that he really saw you and had a conversation, and it wasn’t as awkward as he thought it would be. Unless it was awkward, and he invented a fictitious scenario in his head, misunderstood your body language, and misinterpreted your words.

“Sir?”

“Oh, uh, sorry. Yes, you can drop me off right here.” Jungkook’s mind raced back and forth, replaying the conversation.

He closed the car’s door, shuffling to the apartment complex’s gate. He punched in the code, rushing to his place to let Bam out.

The 50-pound puppy popped his head up, panting and wagging his tail as he saw his owner. Bam sprung to his feet and dashed over to Jungkook, smelling and licking his palm more than normal.

“I know, Bamie. I know.”

Jungkook smelled different. He must’ve had the faintest smell of you on him.

“Come on, boy. You’ve been waiting for me for too long.”

Bam whined when Jungkook’s mind was on something else and did not notice him. He was scratching Bam’s belly, staring off into space with nothing but you on his mind. It’s like you had completely taken over him like you were his paradise, and even if he tried to resist, it was probably useless now. He could never escape you.

Should he go back to the hotel? Would that seem too needy? He thought he was trying to get over you, but here you were, right in front of him, practically within reach—no ocean between the two of you. If now wasn’t the time, then when?

Was he prepared to fight for you? To be with you again? Was he ready for you to reject him if he wanted more, but you didn’t?

He sighed, fighting with himself for his next move. Whatever his decision, he wanted to ensure it was the right one. The real question was—did he want to be with you again after all this time?

The answer was yes—it has always been yes. You’re it. You’ve ruined him—it will always be you.

He was so close to getting in his car and driving back. Every cell in his body was urging him to go and confess his undying love—that is, until he remembered he ran away, that he hurt you.

What if you had moved on but didn't want him to know? He had no right to delve into your business anymore. What if you had moved on with that Yoongi guy? He'd heard that guy's name too many times from Yuna and Taehyung for him not to suspect anything was up with the two of you. You looked so happy with Yoongi that one time he saw you. Maybe he was the cause of your euphoria, the person you spent all your time with, the person you dreamed with, shared your hopes with—maybe you had fully closed the chapter that Jungkook was a part of, and Yoongi was the ‘take two’ of your story.

But could Jungkook just be a foolish dreamer? Thinking he still had a chance with you?

He'd given you his phone number, and the ball was now in your court. If you wanted to, then you’d contact him. Otherwise, perhaps it's best that he's not constantly chasing you. If you still wanted him, then you needed to let him know, and if you didn’t, then maybe he could finally try to let you go.

You checked yourself one last time, smoothing out your tailored skirt and matching blazer. You wished you had chosen another pair of heels, but your nude slingbacks were the only things you packed, so it’d have to suffice. With a swipe of your raspberry lip tint, you were now ready to charm whoever this executive was.

The hostess led you through the restaurant to a private dining lounge. A few guests were scattered far and wide while light jazz music and laughter filled your ears. Were all Netflix meetings always this fancy? You had looked up the menu beforehand, and the prices were somewhat reasonable for dinner, but you’d be fine with instant ramen from the convenience store. You could probably order the whole menu if you wanted since you weren't paying.

“Mr. Wells will be here shortly,” the hostess smiled, leaving you at the table as you mindlessly fiddled with your thumbs.

You wondered how your name even landed on the desk or email of someone across the ocean. Or could Jae just be a great writing agent, and he just had his connections? Maybe you’d find out during this dinner.

A waitress stopped by the table, bringing glasses of water and a bottle of Champagne.

“Oh–I didn’t order this.”

“Mr. Wells did. He wanted to apologize in advance for his lateness. He’s held up in traffic at the moment.” The waitress poured the champagne into two tall flutes.

Fifteen minutes went by as you sat waiting for this Netflix exec. He was already leaving a bad taste in your mouth because of his lateness, but it’s not like you had any other plans.

You scanned the room, watching others converse and eat before pulling out your phone. You went to your contacts and scrolled down to Jungkook’s name. It was like deja vu all over again–staring aimlessly at his name, whether or not to delete it or keep it. Only this time, he would hopefully pick up the call.

You were tempted to text him to see what he was up to. Considering it was a Friday night, he was probably out with friends, maybe Jimin or a girlfriend. You’d heard from Taehyung that they hung out fairly often. At least he had a friendly face in this city.

A low, husky voice said your name, making you look up from your phone. The man standing before you was not someone you pictured. If you had all the confidence in the world, you’d whistle and holler at this Park Seo Joon look alike.

“I’m Zachary Wells, but just call me Zach.” He grinned as he quickly scanned your face and held out his hand. You stood to shake it.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you and your work,” Zach said, gesturing for the both of you to sit.

“You have?”

“Whenever Kenji is in town, you’re all he ever talks about.”

Ah, Kenji. You should’ve known. Well, you supposed one of your exes was good for something.

Zach grabbed the attention of the waitress. “Should we order dinner? I’m starving.”

The two of you had a lot in common. Zach was fairly easy to talk to and was a chatterbox. But just like Kenji, Zach was avoiding why he had wanted to meet you in the first place.

The conversation had finally winded down after an hour, and the champagne and water washed down the last of your dinner. And now, only one thing remains.

“So, you’re probably wondering why I wanted to meet with you.” You hummed. "Well, as you know, we've been expanding Netflix into South Korea, and we're picking up a lot of Korean dramas as demand grows here in the States. As I was talking with Kenji, we thought you’d be perfect for the role of director for creative marketing. I understand you've been a writer for a long time, but I believe you have the potential to help us thrive even more with your market knowledge and insight.”

“Would that mean I wouldn’t have to move out here? That I could stay in Seoul?” It was the first thought on your mind.

“We’d onboard you here in LA for a few months and then get you settled back in Seoul.”

Zach’s offer was too good to be true and to pass up. You didn’t have anything else going for you right now. No show and only a half-finished script.

“So? What do you think?” Zach leaned back in his seat, draping his arm behind you, scanning you from head to toe. He finished the last of his champagne, gesturing for the waitress to bring another one.

It’s not like you could give him an answer right here, right now–coming to live in LA, leaving your life and friends behind. It was a big ask and not a decision you’d take lightly.

Your silence encouraged him to move closer, and his knee knocked into yours. “What do I have to do to convince you?” he said, his finger lightly brushing against your knee.

Immediately, you pulled back, pushing his hand away. “Is this how you get everyone to come to work for you?” You scowled, disgusted by his action.

“This is an opportunity of a lifetime, babe. Don’t waste it.” Zach raised his brows, waiting for you to change your mind. He tried to touch you again, but a loud smack echoed throughout the room, making others around you stop and look at the commotion.

“You’re feisty. I like that.” Zach licked his lips, massaging his cheek.

“You’re a disgusting pig.”

He scoffed. “Oh, am I? I’m here trying to give you a job, and here you are, being a fucking bitch. I hear you have nothing else lined up for you, right? And I can easily tell everyone in this industry to never give you another job again.” He threatened and then proceeded to move in again.

“If you touch me again. I’ll fucking scream,” you seethed, your face warm to the touch, smoke fuming from your ears.

Zach rolled his eyes and threw his hands in defeat. “Fine–have it your way. Good luck getting a job in this industry ever again,” he spat out before leaving.

Everyone in the restaurant was looking at you. You cowered, unsure of where to go or what to do. You weren’t expecting this turn of events. It was just too good to be true.

This whole trip felt like a bust. You came here expecting to return to Seoul with a job but instead had a creepy interaction with a high-level executive, and they paid for everything, including your flight and hotel. You shivered at the thought of him knowing exactly where you were staying. You were alone in a big city, and the only person you knew was your ex-boyfriend.

You illuminated your phone to check the time, debating whether to call Jungkook. Would it be weird? Would you look desperate if you called? It’s not like you had any dignity left anyway.

Unlocking your phone, you clicked on Jungkook’s contact; your thumb hovered over the call button. Fuck it, you thought and pressed call.

It rang a few times before Jungkook’s familiar voice was on the other end—it felt like old times.

Hello?

“Hey, it’s me.”

Hey. I was hoping you’d call. Are you done with your meeting already?

“Yeah, um, would you mind picking me up at the restaurant?”

Yeah! Of course. Text me the address. I’m coming right now.

Jungkook zipped through the city, and thankfully, there wasn’t any heavy traffic to slow him down. He got to the restaurant in less than 20 minutes. He pulled up and saw you waiting on the sidewalk with your arms crossed, trying to keep yourself warm. Parking the car, he ran over to you.

“Hey—are you okay?” he asked with concerned eyes, scanning you from head to toe, ensuring you weren’t hurt.

“Yeah, can we go?” Your body language was telling Jungkook otherwise.

He opened the door for you, and you quickly got in, fastening your seat belt and breathing a sigh of relief once you lay against the headrest. Jungkook looked over, biting his cheek as he could tell you weren’t okay—your eyes were glassy, and he could see how your mascara smudged. He began to input the address for the hotel, but you stopped him.

“Can—can we go back to your place?” Jungkook perked up. “I don’t want to be alone, if that’s okay.”

He certainly wasn’t going to deny you. “Yeah, of course. That’s fine with me.”

“Are you sure?”

It probably wasn’t fair of you to do this to him.

“Yeah, of course. Anything for you.”

“Jungkook, you can totally say no—”

He gently placed his hand on top of yours. “Hey—it’s okay. We’ll go to my place.”

You waited a good distance behind Jungkook as he unlocked the door. He took a step but then stepped back and turned to you.

“Bam gets excited when new people come over. So, I apologize if he’s a bit wild.”

You smiled, assuring him you’d be okay. You were nervous but psyched to meet him, actually—you hoped he would like you. Considering Jungkook was his owner, Bam would probably be the sweetest pup.

As soon as Jungkook opened the door, the brown-coated Doberman greeted him. He knelt down, rubbing his floppy ears. “I told you I wouldn’t be gone long, right, Bamie?”

Jungkook looked at you, beaming a wide smile before returning to his puppy. Bam’s tongue hung out as he panted, looking in your direction–he really did have big, doe eyes like Jungkook. Maybe they were drawn to each other through lingering starry eyes.

He let go of him, and immediately Bam came to sniff your hand, giving a few licks before looking up at you. “I think he likes you.”

“Whew—I passed Bam’s vibe check,” you joked as you crouched down to cup his face, in which Bam licked your chin. “Oh–” You scrunch your eyes closed and giggle at the pup. He really was so sweet.

“Bam—house,” Jungkook commanded. Bam whined quietly before following his owner’s order. He pouted the entire stroll to his crate. As he lay down, he took his turtle chew toy into his mouth, making it squeak.

You slipped off your shoes and set down your bag, looking around Jungkook’s apartment. As you expected, it was squeaky clean, with a few photo frames of his mom, Yuna, and Indie. Then you noticed the ‘Rising Star’ award he had displayed on a shelf next to a few other awards he must’ve gotten at his new job. The stark white walls and flooring contrasted against the black and brown hue furniture. You chuckled to yourself when you saw the workout equipment in the corner—of course; it’s right in his living room.

“If you’re tired, you can take my bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“Oh–” It wasn’t your intention to sleep here. You didn’t want to be alone after that icky interaction with Zach. “I’m okay. Do you just want to hang out and talk for a little bit?”

Jungkook took a big gulp and cleared his throat. He figured this was the moment of truth. He didn’t know what to expect anymore–it could be good or bad.

“Yeah,” he smiled, making his way to the couch, gesturing for you to do the same. “Make yourself at home.”

That was easier said than done. You felt intrusive and feared that you crossed a boundary you shouldn’t have.

He watched you sit on the opposite end. And never in a million years did he think you’d be here, sitting with him. Is it possible that you have found some way to forgive him?

Your eyes found his, and the two of you nervously chuckled.

“Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? Tea?”

You shook your head. You didn’t mind just sitting here and being in his presence. It felt so comforting after such a long day of traveling and a shitty meeting.

“How was your meeting? Did it go well?”

You sighed, positioning your body toward him as you leaned against the couch. You purse your lips before answering him. “The guy was a bit of a douche. The job sounded like a great opportunity, but I refuse to work with someone who thinks I’ll sleep with them for a job.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened, and he shifted in his seat. “I’m sorry, what?”

You could see Jungkook clenching his fist, but honestly, he had nothing to worry about. You hoped the slap Zach got was more than enough to scare him off.

You held your hands up to calm him down. “I can take care of myself, Jungkook,” you assured him. “He got a nice slap from me,” you beamed.

He breathed a sigh, relaxing his body into the couch cushion. “I’m sorry the meeting wasn’t everything you had hoped for.”

You shrugged. “It’s whatever. I’m sure something better will come along.”

“I’m sure it will.”

“So, what were you doing on a Friday night? I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.” You scanned the room, and there was nothing indicating he had company over.

Jungkook pouted, shaking his head. “Just hanging out with Bam.”

“No girlfriend or anything?”

Jungkook suppressed a smile, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe this was your subtle way of asking if he was seeing anyone. “No. No girlfriend. LA girls aren’t really my type.” Because you were, he thought. As hard as he tried to let you go, he just couldn’t.

You hummed and then wanted to kick yourself because that question came out of nowhere, but it was the question lingering on your mind ever since he had left. Someone who looked like him would’ve surely had women lined out the door, ready and willing to date him and bear his children.

“What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked, avoiding your gaze.

“No. No boyfriend.”

“So, you’re not seeing that Yoongi guy?”

You licked your lips, the corners of your mouth curving into a smile. “I’m guessing you heard that name from Yuna or Taehyung?” He nodded. “He’s just a friend and a pain in my ass.”

“Ah–got it.”

“And what about Alex? Is she still around?” You couldn’t not ask. It was like a giant elephant hanging out in the room with you.

Jungkook figured her name would come up sooner or later. “Alex’s not working for the company anymore. She moved out of the country.”

“Good,” you huffed; if she wasn't near Jungkook, that made you happy.

“You really hate her, huh?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

Jungkook softly chuckled, letting a beat pass. “I’m sorry, by the way.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Everything that happened with us.”

“I’m sorry too.” Your lips thinned, your fingers unconsciously picking at your hand.

“Why are you sorry?”

You appreciated that he didn't point out your flaws, but he wasn’t the only one at fault. Neither one of you was perfect. “Jungkook, you’re not the only one to blame. I should have communicated my feelings better when we were together.”

He nodded in agreement. “Do you think you could ever forgive me?”

Initially, it was hard to even think about forgiving Jungkook, but as time passed, the pain and hurt subsided. “Mm. I forgive you. Do you forgive me?”

“Yes,” he chimed in. You chuckled at how fast he answered. “What?” He raised his eyebrow.

You shook your head. “Nothing–”

“Just say it.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because—I just—shouldn’t.” You wanted to say you found him cute and endearing and that he forgave others too quickly.

“Fine,” he pouted, shifting his leg onto the couch.

Your mouth opens involuntarily, exhaling a yawn from exhaustion. The time difference really fucked you up. Quickly, you covered it with both hands and excused yourself.

“Am I boring you?” Jungkook teased.

“Yes, actually. I hadn’t realized you’d become so dull,” you quipped, covering another yawn. “See—so boring that you’re making me sleepy.” You leaned on your arm against the back cushion.

“Or maybe you’re just becoming an old lady.”

You scoffed. “I’m an old lady? You’re the one who’s staying in on a Friday night! Old man.”

“Yeah, I had to stay in, just in case an old lady needed me.” Jungkook giggled and looked away before returning to meet your eyes. “I’ve missed this.”

“What?”

“Us.”

It was this specific moment when you moved into flight mode. You gave a half-smile and shifted your position so your feet touched the ground. You checked your phone for the time. “I should get an Uber and go back to my hotel.”

“I can take you.”

“Jungkook, you’ve done so much for me already. I don’t want you to have to drive back and forth.”

“I don’t mind—honestly.”

You stood up. “I know you don’t—but I do. It’s okay—really.” You unlocked your phone and pulled up the app, determined to call for a car. All of this was becoming too much for you, for your heart. His presence, the giggles, the familiarity of what the two of you used to be.

Jungkook stood and walked over to you, gently pushing away your phone. “What’s going on? Tell me the truth.” He could always tell when your mind was working overload—racing with thought after thought.

Should you tell him why you needed to leave after the two of you had a nice, civil conversation without screaming or yelling? Your therapist did tell you that no one would know how you feel unless you told them—and you just told Jungkook that you should communicate better.

Ugh, goddamnit. 

Speak now or forever, hold your peace.

You didn’t want to revert back to your old ways—being anxious, self-conscious, unsure of what you wanted. You sighed. “The truth?” Jungkook nodded. “The truth is—I probably shouldn’t have called you.”

“Why?” he asked as his starry eyes gazed deeply into your soul.

“Because—I was—I am scared.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrow, unsure of why you’d be scared. “Scared of what?”

“I was scared that if I called you and we talked—old feelings would resurface, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.”

“You still have feelings for me?”

“I think so? I’m—I’m not sure,” you stammered. “That’s why I didn’t call you in the first place when I knew I was coming to LA, and then when I happened to bump into you—well, I guess what I’m trying to say is that yes, I still have feelings for you.”

His eyes fell to the floor, and he sucked in his lips, trying not to smile, before looking back at you. “Am I the mistake?”

You shook your head. “You were never a mistake.”

“Then what mistakes are you referring to?”

You hung your head and sat back down, and Jungkook followed suit. You nibbled on the inside of your cheek, and he looked at you, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know. Me—falling too fast, building fantasies inside my head, knowing it’ll never be real, not saying how I feel, pushing away people who love me. Should I keep going?”

“So, you didn’t want to call me and come here because you were scared all that’s gonna happen if you talked to me? Is that right?”

It sounded ridiculous, but he hit the nail on the head.

You hummed.

There was the slimmest chance of you bumping into Jungkook while in the same city, but you hadn’t fully prepared yourself if you did bump into him. You weren’t ready for the unresolved feelings and the smallest flutters of butterflies, your body to warm up to the simplest of accidental touches and soft giggles.

You could’ve just sucked it up, called an Uber, returned to your hotel, and tried to brush off the slimy interaction with the Netflix exec, but instead, you called the one person you knew would bring you comfort—Jungkook.

Should you just be completely honest and bare your soul? You were halfway there. Maybe it was time to grow up and just say what the fuck you wanted.

Jungkook was silent and waited to see if you had anything else.

You cleared your throat, thinking it was now or never.

“Our breakup,” you paused to recollect yourself and to stop your lips from quivering so much. You started again, “Our breakup—it really fucked me up. You left without saying goodbye, and after that, I kind of spiraled—drinking every day, showing up late to set, and ditching our friends. Hell—I almost let some random guy fuck me in a bathroom.”

You sighed. “I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, but I needed to go through all those things to be where I am today. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and had a lot of healing through therapy, a solo trip, and some new friends–okay, just one new friend, but that's beside the point–I just don’t want to go back to the same person I was before.”

Jungkook opened his mouth to speak, but you stopped him.

“I’m not saying that being here with you again will make me become the person I was before—I just want to make better decisions being the new person I am now.”

Finally, hearing how you felt after all this time relieved him. He had waited so long for you to finally share yourself with him.

Jungkook’s mouth moved from side to side, nibbling on his bottom lip before he spoke, “I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. The weekend in Jeju really fucked me up. So much was happening with Taehyung and Hyunie’s wedding, and then we were on the brink of breaking up while pretending to be happy. My heart and my mind were all over the place. Then I saw you with Yoongi, and that really sent me over the edge because that’s when I knew I had lost you and could never get you back—no matter how hard I tried, I don’t think anything would’ve worked. So—I left.”

Your jaw tightened, trying to hold back tears as Jungkook recounted his side of the story. You didn’t know he saw you with Yoongi; it must’ve been shortly after you returned from Jeju. And as much as you were hurting, so was he.

Well, since both of you were in apology mode.

“I’m sorry too,” you said. “Growing up, it was only me. I had to do everything myself because my parents weren’t really there for me, and so I always felt like I didn’t want to bother others with my burdens. I know it’s not an excuse, but I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to do everything alone—that it’s okay to ask for help. So, I’m sorry I never communicated well and kept things from you.”

He licked his lips, thinking about how new this was all for him—you baring your feelings. “No, that makes sense. I get it.”

“You do?”

“I mean—I’m not perfect either. We both made mistakes, but you’re wrong about one thing.”

You raised your eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“You had me and Yuna, and you know my mom loves you like you’re her own. She might love you more than she loves me,” he said. “And you know you can always tell me what’s going on. I’ll always be here for you—no matter what happens between us.”

You grinned because he was right. You had overlooked the huge part that their family played in your life. You couldn’t discount that.

“If there’s one thing I truly regret from all of this—it’s cutting ramen out of my diet since I’ve moved here,” he joked to lighten the mood.

You dramatically gasped, covering your mouth. “You cut ramen from your diet? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”

The two of you giggled.

“I guess we’ve both done some growing up, huh?” Jungkook knocked his knee into yours.

“Yeah, looks like it.”

“So, what now?”

You shrugged, unsure of Jungkook’s feelings, but you wanted to express yours. “I don’t want to wake up one day and regret not trying again. I want you. I want all of you, but I'm scared—scared that I'll get hurt and go back to my old ways. I’ve had a lot of healing, and I'm in a good place, but seeing you again, being near you, makes me want to forget everything that has happened and jump in your arms and tear off your clothes.”

Jungkook covered his mouth as he silently chuckled at your confession.

“Are you basking in my misery?” you sneered.

His lips turned into a pout as he shook his head. “No, I just—this is what I wanted all along while we were dating.”

“What? Me acting like a fool?”

“No—you telling me how you feel, tell me how much you want me, to claim me as yours.”

You opened your mouth and made a face. “You want me to grovel? Get on my knees?”

Jungkook bit his tongue when you got down on your knees in front of him. He had to tell himself and his dick to calm the fuck down because it was not the time and place to be thinking of such naughty things.

You gazed up at him; seeing him squirm was fun. “You like me on my knees?” you asked, sitting back on your legs.

He cleared his throat, adjusting his sweats as he shifted back on the couch. He thought back to the very first time you sucked him off after having dinner with Yuna and your mom. “I’m sorry. I think you were confessing your love for me. Go on. I’m all ears.”

You smacked his thigh. “I’m—you’re ruining this moment!”

“I’m ruining it? You’re the one who got down on your knees! You know how much I love that,” he mumbled the last of his words.

You turned and cupped your ear toward him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that.”

“Just—go on. You were saying?” He cocked his head to the side, waiting for you.

You huffed, tilting your head back before landing on his sparkly doe eyes and cute little dimple peeking through. “I am stupidly in love with you, Jeon Jungkook, and I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you again.”

Jungkook felt a sense of relief when he heard those words, but there was still a small sliver of fear. “What if we’re just fooling ourselves into thinking this will work?”

“Then I guess we can be fools together.”

After baring your soul to Jungkook, you wanted nothing more than to jump into his lap and ride him like an endless merry-go-round, but you’ve changed and didn’t want to regret anything going forward with him. The two of you needed to take things slow and steady because you wanted to win the race.

The two of you stayed up late—talking, drinking beer, and catching each other up on life until the sun came up. It was like no time had passed, and you picked up right where you left off.

Bam had taken a liking to you, staying by your side, following you whenever you got up and moved around. He wouldn’t let you out of his sight. He definitely took after Jungkook.

The size of your bladder warranted another trip to the bathroom, and when you returned to where Jungkook and Bam were, you noticed Jungkook in a compromising position.

“Why are you on one knee? Are you taking a page out of my book?” you teased, not wanting to jump to any conclusions because you both agreed on taking it slow.

Without an answer, he took out something he was hiding behind his back. He held a blue velvet box in the palm of his hand.

Your eyes widened, and your heart raced rapidly because you knew exactly where that box was from. You and Yuna had looked at engagement rings for hours on end when the two of you thought Namjoon was getting ready to propose. You had mentioned it too many times to Jungkook while the two of you were dating. There’s no way he’d be proposing, right?

This whole thing with Jungkook was new—well, not really new, but you’d have to turn him down if he were to ask your hand in marriage. You were definitely not ready because the two of you had just agreed to try this relationship again.

“What the fuck is that? It better be a ring pop,” you implored. He slowly shook his head, beaming a smile from ear to ear. You repeated ‘no’ under your breath, shaking your head.

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“Oh—I know what it is!”

Jungkook leaned over on his knee toward you. “Okay, so tell me.”

“It’s—it’s the ring that I couldn’t stop talking about. Why do you have it?”

He giggled at how cute and flustered you had become. “For once, you’re wrong.”

“I’m never wrong,” you huffed.

He stood, making his way to you, lifting your chin with his index finger. He stared deeply into your eyes. “You are completely and utterly wrong.”

You pouted and crossed your arms. “Prove it.”

Jungkook sighed at how stubborn you were. He opened the blue velvet box, and it was not the ring you had envisioned. “It’s a promise ring.” Because it was the ring that complimented the engagement set.

You visibly gulped, and there was a sense of relief. “A promise ring?”

He nodded. “You are everything I could ever want and more. It’s always been you, and there’s gonna be no one else for me. You are worth walking through hell and back, and considering we’ve done that already—I’d do it again if I had to, but please, please—I don’t want to do it again,” he pleaded, making you smile. “If you’ll let me, I want to love you and show you I’m worthy of your love every day for the rest of my life.”

You found yourself grinning from ear to ear, loving his little declaration of love. You moved closer to him, looking at the ring and then at him. “I want to make this right—us. I was wrong for not fighting for you—for us, and I don’t want to make that mistake again.”

He pulled the ring from the box, grabbed your left hand, and placed the piece of jewelry on your finger. “We’re in this together—you and me.”

You glanced at the ring, smiling at how pretty it looked on your finger. “You and me.”

A lot has happened in the last 24 hours—you flew to LA, had your meeting, and rekindled your relationship with Jungkook. The last thing wasn’t anything you expected, but it became the silver lining to this short trip you were dreading in the first place.

The pair of you couldn’t stop smiling and giggling in the elevator up to your hotel room–mind you, you’d kept your distance from him the entire night, but it was becoming pure and complete utter torture.

Your time in LA was already coming to an end, and everything in you wanted to just leave your life behind and stay, but you had to resist; you had to fight it—at least for now.

“So,” you trailed off, unsure what to say to him.

“So,” he repeated, leaning next to your door.

You both smiled and laughed at the tension filling the hallway.

“Do you,” you paused to think through your words, “want to come in until I have to leave?” This was a good boundary, you thought–just until you had to leave for the airport.

Jungkook licked his lips, flipping his lip ring back and forth with his tongue. His eyes explored your face before landing on your lips. “I’d love to, but we know if I do, then you won't get anything packed, and you’ll for sure miss your flight.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, and playfully smacked his chest. “I have no idea what you’re alluding to, mister.”

But you fucking knew and wanted it too.

He eliminated the distance between you, slowly caging you against the door. You closed your eyes when he gently caressed your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You had forgotten how much you had missed his touch—your body was glowing inside, illuminated from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. You wanted nothing but to savor this moment—a moment you thought ceased to exist, a moment you thought only existed in your reveries.

The tiny hairs on your skin, tingling, standing on their end in anticipation of an expected kiss. All this tension was killing you softly.

His other hand snaked around the nape of your neck, pulling you even closer. Your eyes fluttered open, watching his lips part, his breaths slowing down, and you were trying to remember if they were still soft and had the faintest taste of strawberry. And you wanted to gently tug on that silver piece of jewelry and hear him whine because of it. 

Your stomach somersaults like there’s a gymnast going for the gold for the floor exercise when his body brushes against yours. The twitch in his black sweats is what really makes you melt and clench around nothing. It's been far too long since you've been touched, and he was the only one that could bring you pleasure.

“Can I kiss you?” His eyes are desperately darting back and forth between yours, waiting for your okay.

“Please,” you pleaded, almost inaudible if he wasn't so close.

He doesn’t go right in like you expected. He took his time, both hands cupping your face and your hands gripping his tiny waist like nothing had ever stopped between the two of you. The tip of his nose nudged yours, his lips lightly feathering across the top of your lips—not going in just yet. His warm hot breath fans the ever-growing desire within you. It was thrilling for him to rediscover everything he loved about you.

You closed your eyes in excitement, scrunching the bottom of his shirt in your hands. You slightly tugged on it, wanting him to hurry and just fucking kiss you already. You had never known him to be so careful, so gentle.

He giggled at your frustration. “I thought we were taking things slow.”

You deadpanned. “It’s too slow,” you whined, trying to reach for his lips, but he pulled back. “I thought you wanted to kiss me?”

Jungkook flashed a soft smile, his dimple on display. “I do.”

“Then shut up and do it already,” you pouted. You couldn't handle the teasing between you anymore. You wanted to make up for everything lost within the last year. If you had all the time in the world, you’d want him to do anything and everything to you, but that day would have to wait.

He tilted his head and leaned in; his nose nuzzled into the side of your face, and the deep yearning you’d hidden inside was released as his lips finally found yours. Lips on lips delicately caressing and wandering like the two of you were in a drought, in desperate search of food and water.

You gently nipped on his bottom lip, lightly pulling on his ring before kissing the side of his mouth. He grinned, thinking he’d get you back for that, not today but soon. Your hands traced the curves of his body, causing him to press himself further into you. The evident erection in his sweats tells you how much he was enjoying this too.

The kiss became heated and fervent, like an all-consuming fire taking everything in its path. Your hands are placed on his toned chest, holding on for dear life as he presses you against the door, breathing life back into you like your life depends on it.

You pulled back, gasping for air, but he leaned in, wanting just a bit more. You’re intoxicating, and he’s greedy. He’s a man starved from your touch and kisses. There’s no way he’ll ever let you go again. He’d fight for you until his very last breath.

Your arms drape around his neck, your fingers twirling and tugging at the ends of his long hair. You deepen the kiss, your warm tongue nipping at his mouth, begging for more access to him. Kissing isn't enough anymore. You needed him—all of him. To rediscover his deepest desires, wants, and needs was the only job you wanted right now.

Jungkook withdrew from your kiss. “You have to pack.”

You took a moment to catch your breath. “Or you can come inside and help me pack.” You moved in again for another kiss, but he resisted.

“I would love that, but…” he trailed off, letting the desire within subside.

Your lips thinned. “But then we wouldn’t be taking it slow, would we?” He nods. “I should pack.”

He leaned in to quickly give you a peck on the lips. “Mm, you should.”

Your shoulders slump, and you tilt your head against the door. “But I don’t want to.”

“But you have to.” You groaned and stomped your feet like baby Indie. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Not soon enough.”

bonus (jk pov - hotel)

“Sorry, I got here early, but some lady was taking forever to get her luggage,” the driver said as Jungkook’s colleague opened the door.

"You coming?" His colleague asked from inside the car.

"...uh, you go on without me. I left my phone inside. I'll catch an Uber."

His colleague shrugged and shut the door behind him before the car took off. Jungkook stood before the hotel's entrance, unsure whether to enter or just leave.

He thought he saw you while waiting outside the restaurant, but he figured it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. Even if it was really you, he wasn't sure he was ready to face you, let alone know what to say. He abruptly left without explaining his actions. He didn't think when he did it, which was a stupid, rash decision he later regretted. He couldn't bear the heartache of being so close to you.

The plan was to get as far away as possible so he could forget, but the problem was that he couldn't. You were the love of his life (yes, even at the tender age of 25). He had no desire for anyone else. Even when gorgeous women were flinging themselves at him in this new city. He wasn't concerned with them because they weren't you.

Everything made him think of you. From peonies to hot tubs and even bowling. He'd go back and say goodbye if he could. He despised the way things ended.

Before he knew it, his foot had stepped past the sliding glass door, heading in, unsure of where even to begin. He began his search as he walked through the lobby, peering at the reception desk. 

He noticed a woman standing at the counter. Maybe your hair had grown out. Approaching the woman, he tapped them on the shoulder. "Noona..."

When the woman turned around, Jungkook quickly apologized before returning and going on the hunt for you. You may have already gone to your room, but he wasn't about to give up so easily. He'd be sorry if he missed you by a millisecond. Could his eyes be deceiving him? Maybe he didn't see you just standing there. Maybe he missed you so much that he imagined everything.

He told himself he'd look for ten minutes before giving up and going home. He walked around the lobby, past the reception desk, down the hallway, and even took the elevator up a few floors before returning down.

He was sure the workers thought he was creeping around and wouldn't be surprised if they had called security. He only had a few minutes before calling it quits and heading home. He walked past the restaurant he was just at, then took a few steps back.

What if you had gone to get a drink?

It didn't take long for him to notice you sitting alone at the bar, waving the bartender down to order. His eyes were not deceiving him; he was not insane.

It was you. 

You were absolutely stunning, he thought. Even after a year apart, you’d become more beautiful than ever. He needed a moment to take you all in because he didn’t think he’d ever see you again—here in LA.

Every heartbeat was like a metronome, keeping in sync with every step he took toward you. He drew a deep breath and closed his eyes as he stood behind you, his mind racing with the right words—what would he say after a year?

“Is this seat taken?”

Fuck—if he could, he’d punch himself. He could’ve come up with something better.

✨ next ~ drabble ~ dream bigger, darling

[irrealisms]

hi! i just saw an old post of yours regarding a very indepth s4 youtube playlist and i'm intrigued! i know the basic stuff since i watched some streams around that time but i've been meaning to finally sit and watch s4 from beginning to end. would you be so kind as to drop a link? thank you :]

gonna assume you mean lifesteal (i also have a dsmp s4 playlist haha. i love Making Playlists. love to Curate) and i've actually got a few lifesteal playlists! well. sort of. i have like One in-depth playlist and then i've got Other People's Playlists

so the first thing i recommend which has every* lifesteal s4 edited video (no** VODs) is this playlist by @aroaceacacia -- it's how i got into lifesteal to begin with and i cannot recommend it highly enough. when you finish, keep an eye on zam's youtube channel, i believe he is the only one still editing his s4 & his finale should be coming out soon (a year late) lmaoooo * it is actually missing one video, but it's near the end + it DOES the behind the scenes for that video so it's easy to add in ** technically it's got one (1) 2-hour cut from a Subz VOD which is more VOD-like and less of a Highly Edited Short Video but p much all the rest of the 285 videos are more highly-edited official-yt-channel VideosTM, and even the Subz VOD is a cut from a 24-hour stream rather than the full thing.

unfortunately i don't know of any curated VOD playlists or overviews that cover the beginning of the season, by me or by anyone else--I might work on this at some point but rn unfortunately i haven't actually watched much early s4 :( although if you want, send me a follow-up ask and i'll do my best at a "major events" playlist, mixing edited videos (esp early-season where i havent Watched the VODs) with particularly important VODs for the stuff i Have seen? this would b p easy for me to make i just havent bc i didn't know if there would b interest. ive also been working on a timeline google doc covering all of s4 that includes both VODs and edited videos so, again, lmk if you're interested in that!

the second thing i recommend is this google doc by @myrmica , which starts covering things in detail in december 2022 and has super detailed notes for a BUNCH of VODs. absolutely invaluable resource. my primary recommendation if you want to watch vods from mid to late s4 is to just read this doc and add all the vods that look interesting to your personal playlist.

in terms of in-depth playlists i have, the main one i have is an eclipse federation playlist! it's got a couple vods or cut-down videos of pre-eclipse-fed for some context but mostly it covers eclipse federation's journeys from their formation to the end of the server. i skipped some streams that were just grinding or destroying end portals or similar but if you want those also you can go through the myrmica google doc. NOTE: this ONLY covers eclipse federation!!! and it covers them in pretty close detail!!!! things that get left out of this include stuff like most of the preparations for pangi & zam's god-off, 3ht's trap war, a lot of poopies shenanigans, the team awesome breakup, and of course everything that happened in the Several Months before eclipse federation formed.... basically anything that wasn't relevant to eclipse federation's journey. meanwhile there are multiple 4-hour VODs that are just zam thinking about his relationship problems and nothing rly happens. i honestly would not recommend this unless you are specifically looking for more detail on eclipse federation specifically lol. also i wasn't sure how to handle "there are 2-3 streams of the same events with different povs that have some nonoverlap and some overlap" so...sometimes i include both povs and sometimes i dont. it's a judgement call & i highly recommend going thru the myrmica google doc and making your own playlist--all the vods in this playlist are also on there, eclipse federation didn't Form until mid season 4 so all eclipse-federation-relevant streams are covered

also i've linked this before but ive got a more medium-length eclipse fed playlist that mixes VODs & edited videos so check that out if you want

and of course where would any of us be without the archivist VOD spreadsheet. not super useful if youre looking for Curated Playlists but i need to shout out archivists forever & ever

i've also got much less in-depth playlists of Just Edited Videos for stuff like s4 highlights, covering specific teams/storylines, etc but since you said you were interested in in-depth playlists im not going to link all those unless you ask, this post is already long enough as it is haha. im also maintaining a s5 edited videos playlist if youre interested in that, and ive got links to playlists of s1-3! so just ask if you want any of those

huge apologies if this was overwhelming! u activated my Autism Trap Card (i love playlist curation). & pls pls feel free to send another ask/message/whatever if you have any questions or are curious abt anything else or if you want anything else (i love playlist curation)

[kanmom51]

hi, so im a jikooker myself and i was really supporting the theory that "letter" is a love song not for armys but for jungkook, and it seemed like that until i watched today's suchwita episode and jimin explicitly said it was a fan song. im gonna let go of the theory and just believe what jm said bc im not like some certain ppl. what do you think abt it?

Hey @arsonkoobi, I'll leave you with several posts I wrote on the matter.

At the end of the day, it's your decision what to believe.

Just know this:

If you indeed think they are a couple, and a closeted couple at that, then you KNOW that JM couldn't come right out and say that Letter is a song he is addressing to JK, right?

Just checking.

It's also funny that Karmy are so adamant about this being a song for JK disguised as a song for army. Could it be because they have a better understanding of their culture, their society, their language?

And one more question, food for thought.

Why, after the album came out and that little beautiful secret song came out with it, didn't JM add it to his Face playlist?

The cat was literally out of the sack at that point.

If this is a song for army, his fans, wouldn't he have added it to his playlist, for all his fans to hear what he has to say to them?

In Suchwita while talking about Letter, we get Serendipity playing in the background, why? Why not Letter? His song for his fans. A song for all army, not only those that bought the physical album?

I get the hidden track thing, that doesn't make Letter for JK, but you know what does? The lyrics, the language, not only the fact that JK is on there with him, but also the timing, when he joins in with JM, the fact that yes, it's hidden, but hidden tracks after the surprise are celebrated non stop, this one, it isn't, not by him.

JM is keeping it intimate and private and small (as much as he can) because it's not for army, it's not for us, not really. It's a song for the love of his life, a song filled with love and hope for the uncertain future ahead of them.

Anyway, hope you do take the time to read my posts. Give it some thought and reach your own conclusion.

[wastelandmoony]

Déjà Vécu

Chapter Thirty-One : End of Beginning

Summary: Last school chapter =) Enjoy any happiness while you can.

Characters: Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader (no use of y/n), James Potter, Petter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Lily Evans

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI

A/N: Having a rough time mentally, so I'm not going to beat myself up about my less-than-thrilled feelings about this chapter. I've begun writing post-war chapters, and I'm excited to be transitioning out of Hogwarts. Also, if you've messaged me recently about being on a taglist, I answered everyone privately and have realized I can't go back and get your handles. So please message me again and I'll add it =)

Déjà Vécu Masterlist

Companion Playlist

Read on AO3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 1st, 1977

“My little witch is all grown up!” Tears streamed down her mother’s face as they entered Platform 9 3/4. The entire drive to King’s Cross, the crushing reality of this final train ride to Hogwarts began to sink in.

This was it. The chapter was coming to a close. 

She hugged her parents tightly, which she tried to do as much as possible nowadays. The news was getting bleaker and bleaker, the Daily Prophet trying to sweep as much of it under the rug as they could. Those that dared print any iota of the truth usually ended up disappearing, the whisperings of such occurrences becoming more frequent. Luckily, James’ parents had begun to include him in more of their discussions, leading to the rest of them hearing the truth in great detail. He’d written her in mid-august, after Sirius had arrived back at Potter manor, to give an update on the efforts being port forth by people like his parents. He also implored her to find out who Sirius’ suspected new girlfriend was, disclosing that their friend had been acting “slightly less insane and kept sneaking off to send owls”. She didn’t respond, just laughed and mentioned it to Sirius in her next letter. They’d agreed to not address their relationship with the others just yet, waiting to put it off until the school year and live for a few more weeks amongst their own little secret. There were no titles spoken of, no boyfriend or girlfriend, partner or lover; they were just…together. Sirius was hers, and she was his; and that was enough for them both.

James appeared on the train platform first, unruly hair catching her eye before his enthusiastic wave. Following quickly behind was Peter, who looked distant and preoccupied, and finally Sirius, who smiled broadly when he caught sight of who James was staring at. Racing towards them, she launched into Sirius’ arms as he tossed his bags to the ground. Cradling her face, he kissed her earnestly. From beside them, Peter openly groaned.

“It’s about bloody time!” James sighed loudly, the smile evident in his voice. Sirius gave his best friend a rude gesture, never breaking the kiss in the process.

“Oh no, are we going to have to deal with this for the foreseeable future?” Remus had walked up behind them, the sound of his voice had her pulling away with a slight grin.

“Hi Moony, sorry I didn’t write much,” she hugged him in greeting.

He squeezed her, “It’s alright, you were obviously occupied.” 

She pinched him, leading to a sly smirk from Remus. He kissed the top of her head, “I’m happy for you, love,” he whispered into her ear.

Sirius threw a leather-clad arm around her shoulders, motioning towards the train, “Alright then, Head Boy, lead the way.”

She followed his gaze to James, “What?! Jamie!”

He blushed at the attention, “Oh, uh, yeah…Lily’s made Head Girl too actually.”

“That’s an extremely unsurprising, yet serendipitous decision,” she laughed, “Congratulations, you deserve it.”

“Yeah, he’s a proper arsehole now—ow!” Sirius cradled his side where she’d elbowed him.

James smiled fondly at her, picking up his trunk and leading them all onto the Hogwarts Express one last time. 

———

November 5th, 1977

She’d never been this drunk at a party before. The entire Gryffindor Common Room was a blur of scarlet and and gold, bodies packed tight while the Clash played loudly through the speakers. Sirius had wanted an all out banger for his final birthday at Hogwarts, inviting essentially any warm body (and a few ghosts) to the tower for a night “full of debauchery” as he had put it to anyone that would listen. Earlier in the afternoon she had given him his present, a new album from the Sex Pistols. Sirius had hearts in his eyes listening to the opening song, only pulling himself away to lock the dormitory door and kiss his way across her body. They had spent the rest of the afternoon tangled in each other, with only the sound of Pretty Vacant on repeat to muffle their unholy noises from the rest of the residents of the tower. 

At midnight, Lily brought out the birthday cake with the help of James, the two of them getting the entire tower to sing along while Sirius sat against the arm of the couch beaming. He reached out and pulled her onto his lap, holding tight as he waited to blow out his candles. After making a little show of pretending to “think” about his wish, he finally extinguished them, planting a gentle kiss to her shoulder in the process. 

“What’d you wish for?” She asked, turning around to face him once everyone had gone back to dancing, or drinking, or doing…whatever it was they were doing. 

Sirius nuzzled against her neck, “You know precisely what I wished for, love.”

She hummed, skimming a hand down his spine, “…only if you’re a good boy tonight.”

He looked up at her with heavy lids, from the firewhisky or lust or both, she wasn’t quite sure. Distracted by his gaze, she let out a surprised gasp as his hand snaked its way around to grab her backside obscenely. 

“Bad dog…” she purred, kissing him once as he tried to wander his hands further. “I’m going to go get some air, it’s too hot in here.” One last soft kiss, and she wiggled out of his grasp just as James and Remus came over to ask him to settle an apparently desperate argument having to do with quidditch. 

The corridor outside of the common room was chilly in the most delicious way, and she practically moaned with relief as the portrait swung shut. She inhaled deeply and sighed. The floor felt like it was spinning a little bit. She should probably sit down or something. 

She opened her eyes and saw a friendly face leaning against the window, a bottle of firewhisky in his hand. 

“Hey Pete,” she smiled, joining him against the wall. He didn’t return the warm welcome, just hummed in acknowledgement. “You alright?” She dragged her eyes over his face, something was up, he never acted so cold with her. A look down at the bottle pointed to him being completely off his face.

Peter shifted on his feet, “I’m fine. Just…relaxing.”

“I was wondering where you’d gone off to, I didn’t see you when we sang to Sirius,” even in her drunken state she sensed his tense energy and tried to keep the conversation light. 

“Oh yeah?” He said almost sarcastically, “I didn’t think anyone had noticed.”

She shook her head slightly and let out a laugh, “What’re you talking about, Pete? Of course I’d notice if you—“

“How long have I been gone then?” He asked a little too aggressively for her liking.

“I…I don’t know Peter, I’ve been drinking and—“

“Yeah, I know. I also know that your favorite drink is firewhisky mixed with cider, you’ve had four of them already tonight. You only dance to Abba, but you’ll always keep time with your foot to every song you hear. You absolutely loathe potions, but you always light up whenever you figure out the best way to combine ingredients. Your favorite color is orange, but not like pumpkin orange; bold and dramatic like a sunset. You always scrunch your nose before a bludger hit. Your deepest fear is failure, and you still hate the fact that you were put in Hufflepuff even though you pretend you don’t.”

She stared at her friend, completely at a loss for any words as he continued on his tirade. 

“I know that you talk to Remus somehow through that book you always carry.”

“How do you—“ her heart beat faster, the only other person to know about that was Sirius.

“I also know you’ve been sneaking into our dormitory for over a year to sleep in Sirius’ bed.” His tone bordered on accusatory. She continued to stare, dumbfounded by all of it. 

“Don’t tell me that you notice me,” Pete held her gaze steady for someone that had a half-empty bottle of whisky in his hand, “Because I would know a thing or two about noticing people.”

“You’re wrong,” she whispered, voice cracking slightly. The corridor had stopped tilting, but the air was heavy with discomfort as she gathered her bearings.

Peter took a step closer towards her, “I’m sorry?” 

She cleared her throat, “I said you’re wrong. My biggest fear isn’t failure.”

Peter’s laugh was on the verge of bitterness, “Yeah? What is it then, Sirius breaking up with you when he finally gets bored?”

Oh.

Ouch. Is this what it felt like to be stabbed? She was pretty sure he had just jammed a serrated knife into her abdomen. 

“No, Peter,” she spat, curling her fists to avoid him seeing her shaking hands, “My biggest fear is losing the people I love, which includes you, believe it or not.”

Before she could move, Peter grabbed her face and kissed her. She froze for a moment, too drunk to fully comprehend what in the actual fuck was going on. Carefully, she grabbed both of his hands and pushed him back gently. “Peter—“

“What the fuck are you playing at, Pete?”

Sirius was standing in the open portrait entrance, eyes narrowed on his friend, full of rage and betrayal. 

“Sirius it’s fine, just a misunderstanding—“ she started, as he ignored her to push Peter against the wall.

“Stop!” She stood between them, taking Sirius’ face between her palms. “Look at me, Siri.”

Reluctantly, his blue eyes slid to her, “We’re all shit-faced. Let’s go upstairs and go to bed. Everything’s fine.”

“I don’t want him to touch you. I don’t want anyone to touch you,” she could hear the anger in his voice, the same kind she had heard last year in the forest. The same sadness and fear was present too, just beneath the surface. Unsure of what to say, she kissed him. 

“I don’t want anyone else to touch me, Sirius,” she said against his lips, “I love you.”

He stopped and stared at her through heavy lids, mouth still centimeters from hers.

“Say that again.”

“I love you?”

He kissed her softly, “again.”

“I love you.”

He picked her up and she began to laugh, carrying her back toward the common room.

“I’m going to make you scream it so loud the entire tower hears,” he growled into her ear.

As the portrait swung shut, she noticed that Peter had disappeared, and the corridor was empty, save for a half empty whisky bottle. 

———

December 23, 1977

As a collective, they had decided to remain at Hogwarts for the winter holidays, to be together one last time in the place they all called home. All of them, except for Peter. 

She had tried to convince him to stay, even going as far as to bribe him with promises to complete the rest of his essays for the year. He had declined every offer. His reasoning allegedly that his parents were going through a tough time, and they wanted to be together for the holidays. She couldn’t argue with that, not when she’d do the same for her family. The feeling was bittersweet as she hugged her friend goodbye on the last day of term, the promises of fun and mischief on the horizon for the next week shadowed by the fractured dynamic now that they’d be missing one piece of the puzzle. They hadn’t spoken about the night of Sirius’ birthday party, the three of them choosing instead to chalk it up to drunken stupidity and sweep it under the rug. But she hadn’t forgotten the way he had spoken to her, how his eyes held such despair and pain. None of it was normal, not for Pete, who was usually quiet and sweet and always made her smile no matter what. Something was going on, she just needed to do some digging. 

Pete squeezed her hand once before leaving for the carriage ride over to Hogsmeade station, offering a small reassuring smile before disappearing from the Great Hall that morning. Sirius pulled her onto his lap at the breakfast table, her eyes still focused on Peter exiting the main doors, “Stop worrying,” he murmured into a kiss on her temple. 

“I’m not,” she lied.

He gently grabbed her chin to turn towards him, “You’re getting that little crease between your eyebrows, don’t lie to me, Yellowjacket.” She shot him an annoyed glare, trying to not break into a smile. 

“So what’s the plan?” Mary leaned forward to look expectantly at the rest of them down the table. 

James beamed, “Whatever we want, the castle is ours.”

———

Apparently “whatever we want” meant different things to each person involved. 

James and Lily snuck away to ‘explore the grounds’ (which they all knew was code for feeling each other up in the Prefects bathroom); Mary had turned the Common Room into her own personal nightclub, blasting music and dancing around atop the furniture while Marlene and Dorcas played games on the rug by the fire; Remus and her had decided to spend a relaxing afternoon in the library reading, much to Sirius’ annoyance. He had wanted to start a pick-up game of quidditch now that the pitch would be guaranteed empty, but ended up grabbing his broom and heading out solo. 

Madam Pince scowled when Remus and her entered the deserted library, angry that her solitary literary oasis was now tainted by their smiling faces. Making a beeline for their preferred table in the corner of the second floor, she pulled out a few books and settled in across from Remus for a marathon reading session with her best friend, even sneaking in snacks from the kitchens so they wouldn’t have to leave for sustenance.

Hours passed, and she had become so engrossed in the book that she didn’t hear someone creeping up behind her.

“Christ—“ she jumped as Sirius pressed a kiss to her temple. Remus let out a low chuckle from across the table, having clearly seen his friend sneak up and chose to not warn her ahead of time. 

She shook her head, “You both are pricks…”

“You love us though,” Sirius wrapped both arms around her shoulders and leaned closer to her ear, “Come with me, I have something to show you.”

Shutting the book and setting it on the table, she got up and followed him through the tall shelves towards the back of the library. The sections they began to pass became dustier and older, the light even beginning to fade the further they traveled. 

“Siri, where are we going?” She whispered. He reached back and grabbed her hand, tugging her behind one of the shelves, kissing her deeply. 

“Pince is going to catch us,” she said in between breaths, hands tangling in his dark hair.

Sirius smiled against her lips, “That’s half the fun.”

She was eternally grateful at the decision to wear a skirt that day, even more so that Sirius had the wherewithal to preemptively place a hand over her mouth before bending her over an ancient wooden desk. By the time they made their way back to where Remus was still sitting, the sun had set and she could already feel bruises forming on her hips. 

———

The rest of the break was precisely what she wanted: a whole bunch of doing nothing. Just waking up and leisurely spending time with her best friends. Late one night close to the start of term, they were all strewn about the Gryffindor Common Room; some of them asleep in armchairs or on the floor, the rest just lounging and listening to music comfortably. She laid against Sirius sprawled on the couch, back pressed tightly to his chest as he ran a hand up and down her arm. 

“What happens when it’s over?” She spoke softly, Sirius’ hand stilling against her skin.

“When what’s over, love?” The rumble of his voice vibrated against her bones.

“This…Hogwarts. What happens when we’re not together anymore?”

James smiled sadly at her from the armchair across the room, Lily tucked into his side as she slept. “We were uh…actually talking about getting a place together after school,” he looked down at the sleeping redhead lovingly.

“Jamie, that’s amazing,” she grinned at him from across the room. Though she was happy for her friends, a large part of her wanted nothing more than to stay this way forever, never going off and living separately and only seeing each other sporadically; as selfish and unpractical as that sounded. 

“What about us?” Sirius muttered into her ear, resuming the comforting brush of his knuckles. She hummed up at him in question.

“We can get an apartment, maybe in London?” His blue eyes sparkled in the light of the fire. She sat up and looked at him properly, “Really? You’d want that?” Sirius nodded firmly.

“What if we went in on it together?” Her eyes tracked to Remus, sitting on the rug by the fireplace. 

He gave her a sidelong glance, “I’m not going to be the third-wheel in that house, not with you two shaggin’ on every surface.” 

She held out a hand towards him, wiggling her fingers dramatically, “Oh come on, Moony! You know I can’t live without you!”

Sirius chimed in beside her, “Yeah Moons, I promise we’ll only have sex in the kitchen once a month.” She elbowed him in the ribs. 

“We can ask Pete too! It’ll be great, and James and Lily can come over for Sunday dinners,” she stared at her best friend hopefully, watching as his glare slowly melted into a reluctant smile. 

“Fine, but only because I can’t live without you either…and I get first call on a bedroom.”

“Deal,” she smiled broadly, falling back against Sirius’ chest again, “We can start looking the week we get home from final term.”

———

January 28th, 1978

“The Order of the Phoenix,” James said proudly, standing in the center of the boys dormitory. The rest of them were lounging around the room on various beds, having chosen to use their room for this particular meeting that James had frantically called. 

“James, I’m sorry, but what are you talking about?” She was trying to focus, but Remus was currently across the room sending her crude doodles in their shared sketchbook, trying to make her laugh. Sirius leaned over her shoulder to see, swiftly snatching the book and scrawling something particularly heinous (due to Remus’ immediate grimace upon receiving it).

“It’s a secret society that my parents are a part of, The Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore started it a few years ago. There’s a bunch of members throughout Great Britain, and some abroad as well I think,” James’ eyes were glittering with excitement.

“A secret society? That’s like something from James Bond,” Mary raised her eyebrows from her spot on Peter’s bed. James gave her a puzzled look.

“Who’s James Bond?” Sirius cautiously muttered, afraid to ridiculed by the multiple muggleborns in the room. 

She turned around to pat his cheek patronizingly, “It doesn’t matter darling.” He scowled at her sarcasm while Remus chuckled from his own bed.

“Anyway,” James continued, “they’re actively fighting against Voldemort and his supporters, doing reconnaissance and other shit to try and find out their next move, and stop them every chance they get.”

From behind her, Sirius sat up straighter, clearly intrigued at the notion of being on the front lines. “Don’t even think about it,” she whispered back at him.

He huffed an incredulously breath, “I’m going to join, you can’t possibly stop me.” 

“I’d prefer to not have you in danger—“

“—there are people dying!”

“Don’t you think I understand that?” Her voice had raised too loud, the rest of the room falling silent as she stared at Sirius, “I can’t risk losing you, any of you…” she looked around the room at her friends. Lily met her eyes, the normal shade of emerald green dark and sad. 

James spoke up first, “I uh…I’m already involved…”

Her heart stopped beating. “Jamie—“

“It’s not official or anything, I still have to swear an oath or whatever and my parents won’t let me do that until after we’re done school. But I’m allowed to be at the meetings, and my parents tell me more information…”

She shook her head in disbelief, “Why didn’t you tell us?” James rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, at the same time she felt Sirius shift on the bed behind her. It was Remus’ nervous throat clearing that tipped her off to the betrayal though.

“You all knew…didn’t you? The four of you?” Her eyes shot between Peter, James, Sirius, and Remus. None of which dared look back. “You all planned on joining…” 

Sirius made the mistake of reaching for her arm, “Love—“

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she got up off the bed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door. She was halfway down the main corridor by the time Sirius caught up, grabbing her arm in protest.

“Leave me alone,” trying to wrench out of his grasp was futile, he was much stronger than her. He pulled her towards him, gripping her arms tightly as she looked everywhere except for his face. 

“Please…” she mumbled. 

“Look at me,” he tone was stern, eliciting an immediate reaction from her. When she met his eyes, they didn’t match his voice, instead they were soft and patient. “Talk to me, love. Why are you so upset?”

“You hid this from me! You all did!” She felt insane. From the betrayal by her friends, to the outburst she had in the bedroom, she felt like she was losing her mind a little bit. It’d been years since she’d felt insecure in her friendship with the boys, about feeling any bit left out or that she wasn’t wanted.

Sirius didn’t buy her excuse, “What’s the real problem, though?”

They stared at each other for a beat, his eyes searching hers for the truth. After a deep breath, she let her shoulders drop, “I’m afraid…”

“Of what, love?”

“…of losing any of you. This makes it more real.”

Sirius clicked his tongue, pulling her into a tight hug, “Nothing’s going to happen, we haven’t even officially joined yet. Even so, just because we’re part of the Order, doesn’t mean we’ll do any actual fighting.” She scoffed, “Sirius, I know you, and you would jump at the chance to be on the most dangerous missions.” His laugh was anything but reassuring. 

They stood in the quiet corridor for a few minutes, locked in an embrace that she couldn’t bring herself to break. “Why didn’t you include me?” she whispered into his chest.

Sirius kissed the top of her head, “I figured you’d try and stop us. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission y’know.”

“I want to join, something all of you should’ve guessed.”

Sirius smirked, “If it’s any consolation, Moony did say you might want to be involved.”

“That’s because Remus knows me better than anyone else.”

He pulled back, feigning offense, “That’s a bloody lie and you know it!”

She raised an eyebrow in challenge, “Just because you’ve seen me at my most vulnerable, doesn't mean you know me entirely.” Sirius lifted her hand and kissed it, lacing their fingers together to walk back toward the dorm and their awaiting friends.

“Guess I’ll have to try harder, bee."

———

May 6th, 1978 

The Order of the Phoenix wouldn’t pay the bills, a notion that didn’t seem to matter to people like James and Sirius who were worth more than any of them in galleons. But to the rest of them, finding a career after Hogwarts was at the forefront of their minds…at least for her it was. She’d known since her second year what she wanted to do, and she was determined to get a foot in the door. Applying to jobs at the Ministry of Magic required many steps, the first and foremost being receiving the proper O.W.L.’s and N.E.W.T.’s. She’d received Outstanding’s in Transfiguration, History of Magic, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Muggle Studies, Ancient Runes, and most importantly, Care of Magical Creatures. N.E.W.T.’s were being held at the end of the month, and she was practically tearing her hair out about it.

By day, she’d be in the library with Lily and Remus, the only other two that understood her determination. After revising for almost each waking hour, by night she would crawl silently beside Sirius in bed, where he’d coax her slowly (and thoroughly) into relaxation. 

“You don’t have to stress so much, I have more than enough inheritance to support us both,” He said one night, propping his head up on a fist to look at her. 

“It’s not about the money, Siri,” she ran a hand over his bare chest, marveling at the smoothness of his skin, “I want to help people. I’ve wanted to get into Werewolf Support Services for years, I’m not about to stop now when I’m so close.”

He leaned down to kiss her softly, “I love you, you’re the most incredible woman I know.” 

She hummed contently into his lips, pulling him closer.

“I’ll be here with you no matter what, love,” he whispered, hand snaking between their bodies. She sighed at his touch, “Promise me.”

His fingers grazed her core, “Promise what?”

Holding her breath, she squirmed as he teased. “Tell me.”

She squeezed his bicep, pleading with him to give her what she wanted, “Promise you’ll always be here.” 

He kissed her softly, touch finally landing where she needed him most, “I’m never going anywhere, love.” 

———

June 10th, 1978

N.E.W.T.s were the following week, and at that point she wasn’t sure she’d eaten a proper meal, or even brushed her hair in days. Every waking moment was either spent revising, or working on her application for the Being Division of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Remus (along with Professor Kettleburn and Madam Pomfrey) had written a letter of support to add to it, going to great lengths to convey her dedication to the advancement and care of those afflicted with Lycanthropy. She’d cried for a continuous hour after reading it. 

The Friday before exam week, the entire group sat around the breakfast table, some chatting away about their excitement for the end of school, others (mainly herself, Remus, and Lily) were utterly silent. Unlike her other two exam-weary friends, she sat and picked at breakfast, not even bringing a crumb to her mouth. 

“You need to eat,” Remus whispered into her ear, a piece of bacon in hand, “It’ll do you no good if you’re starving during exams.”

“I’m fine,” she grumbled, pushing the plate towards the center of the table, nauseous and irritable.

“Suit yourself,” Remus sighed, turning his attention to the person sitting on her other side, “Pads?”

Sirius looked over at his friend, then down at her picked-over plate. “Love…” 

She gave Remus a glare, “You’re such a rat!“

“Oi, speaking of—“ he interjected as Peter rushed towards them, pink cheeked and out of breath.

“What’s up, Wormy?” James raised an eyebrow at him, “You look out of sorts.”

Pete slumped down beside him, exhaling loudly, “Filch took it!”

“Took what, mate?” Remus took another bite of bacon, watching his friend catch his breath. Peter cautiously looked down the table. “The map…” he whispered.

“Are you fuckin’ joking Wormtail?!” Sirius said loudly, causing Mary and Marlene to look up from a few seats away. She placed a hand on his arm in an effort to calm him down.

Peter threw up his hands, “I didn’t mean to!”

“What the fuck happened then?” Sirius gritted his teeth. Remus was tense beside her as well, having the ability to restrain his anger much better than most. 

Peter took a deep breath, “I was using the map to check one of the passageways, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention, and the next thing I knew Filch had appeared and almost caught me trying to go behind the mirror on the fourth floor—“

“Why were you going through that passageway? Where were you headed?” She stared at her friend quizzically. That particular passage led to Hogsmeade, the secret tunnel being the largest of any they had found during their time at Hogwarts, big enough that it could hold a group of people. They never used it, finding it too conspicuous to be useful, utilizing the One-Eyed Witch tunnel to sneak into Honeyduke’s instead. 

Peter didn’t meet her eyes when he opened his mouth to speak, Sirius instead cutting him off. “Who gives a shit what he was doing, that map was our legacy! And now what? Filch is going to get his grubby little hands on it and who knows what that weirdo is going to do with it!”

She looked at him sidelong, telling by his expression that he was being completely serious.

“I cleared it before he could take it,” Peter muttered, eyes still fixed on his lap, “He won’t be able to use it, unless he figures out the password.”

“Well thank fuck for that, Pete,” Sirius sneered, “I’m glad you decided to use your brain for once.” 

Her head snapped to him, “What’s your problem? It was an accident.”

Sirius shook his head, “He always does this, he doesn’t think, and now look what’s happened.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Pads,” James chastised, clapping a dejected Peter on the shoulder, “Now, I’m going to go let off steam on the pitch, I think a few of you could gain something by joining me.” He gave Sirius a pointed look, who in turn wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Come flying with me,” he nudged her gently, “it’ll make you feel better.”

She shook her head, annoyed at his outburst with Peter. “I’m going to keep revising, I’ll catch up with you later.”

James stood up, followed by Sirius. “C’mon Pete,” the former pulled their friend up by his arm, “You could use the fresh air too.” 

She didn’t miss the eye roll Sirius gave as he bent down to kiss the top of her head. “Moony,” he called to Remus beside her, “makes sure she eats, please.” She didn’t respond or look up at him. “I love you,” he whispered before planting one last kiss to her temple and following the other two out the main doors. Her and Remus sat in comfortable silence for a bit, him continuing to eat while she ruminated on a multitude of thoughts that swirled around her head like a cyclone. 

“Talk to me,” Remus muttered, never looking up from his plate, his tone giving no room for nonsense. After all these years, he was still the only one to clock her feelings before anyone else. 

She sighed, “Peter’s been acting weird.”

Remus cocked an eyebrow at her, “We’re not talking about Sirius?”

“He’s my problem to deal with, I’m more concerned about the other one at the moment. Have you noticed anything?”

Remus thought on it for a moment, crunching another piece of bacon and then passing one to her, “I’ll only tell if you eat something.”

“Fucks sake,” she said under her breath, biting the piece of meat dramatically just for him. 

Remus smiled a little as she chewed, “Pete’s been…different since his dad lost his job.” 

“He didn’t say anything to me about that, when did it happen?”

Remus squinted in recollection, “Uh…summer of last year I think? He told us when we got back in September one night. His mum’s been under a lot of stress at work and now with this…Pete’s been trying to help however he can, that’s why he didn’t stay here with us for Christmas.”

She nodded, “Yeah I knew he wanted to spend time with his family, he just never specified.” 

Remus hummed, “He hasn’t talked much about it to us either. He’s just been really irritable and has a hairpin trigger nowadays. You can imagine what it’s like sharing a room with him and Sirius…” 

“Poor Pete,” she stared down at the plate of untouched food, “You’re not upset about the map, are you?”

Remus shook his head, “Nah, it was fun while it lasted. Won’t have much use for it after next month anyway. Better to have it here where maybe it’ll fall into the hands of some young troublemakers.”

“I hope whoever finds it makes Filch’s job a hell of a lot harder.”

Remus smiled, “Cheers to that.”

———

June 20th, 1978

It had to be some sort of joke. The parchment in her shaky hands fluttered slightly as she read and re-read each word over and and over, brain trying desperately to grasp the words. She inspected the handwriting, looked for any distinguishing marks or something that would give away the letter as being a prank from someone. She doubted anyone she knew would be cruel enough to joke like this. 

We’re pleased to offer you a position as Undersecretary to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures: Being Division, supporting the efforts of the Werewolf Support Services branch.

The sentence was practically burned into her retinas with the amount of times she’d read it. As the realization finally sunk in that this was in fact real life, she huffed out a disbelieving laugh to herself, spinning around in her dormitory trying to figure out her next move. There was only one person she wanted to talk to; one person that knew how badly she had wanted this.

———

Remus was lounging against his headboard reading a muggle novel when she burst through the door, eyes wide and breathing heavily from sprinting up the stairs. Every muscle in his body tensed as he sat up.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” He tried to keep his voice from giving away the panic flooding his veins. Every day the news was worse and worse, attacks getting closer and closer to home and people with more recognizable names dying on the regular. The anxiety was always there, lying in wait for the bomb to drop. Her eyes scanned his face for a moment, expression blank and neutral as she held up a letter.

“Love, what’s happened?” Remus stood up slowly, taking the piece of parchment from her, eyes flying over the words as his heart hammered away in his chest. He prayed it wasn’t her family, held his breath that the war hadn’t finally struck home.

“I…I got in…” she whispered.

Remus looked up from the paper, seeing the smile beginning to take shape on her face. All fear evaporated from his body as she beamed, eyes brimming with tears.

“I’ve officially been hired by Werewolf Support Services. I actually did it, Remus,” her voice broke as he reached for her, lifting her into a full-body hug. “I’m so proud of you,” he said into her hair, spinning around in the center of the room. 

She clung to him, inhaling the familiar scent of her best friend. “I’m finally going to make a difference. I’m going to fix it, Moony.” 

Remus buried his face in her neck, the love he had for her overflowing, “You’re going to do great. If anyone can do it, it’ll be you.” She squeezed him tighter, opening her mouth to say something as the dormitory door was kicked open.

“Oi! Hands off my girl.” Sirius leaned against the door frame, voice dripping with sarcasm, “Moony, we’ve talked about this. If you want a three-way, you just have to ask.”

Her and Remus groaned, pulling away from each other to give Sirius matching death glares. “Don’t be crass,” she pointed at him, “I have zero interest in having sex with any of my friends, thank you very much.”

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, “What happened between us then?”

She rolled her eyes, trying to hide a smile, “Oh get fucked, Black.”

“I’m trying to!” He threw his arms out. She ignored the comment entirely, holding out the letter for him instead.

“What’s this?” He took the parchment and skimmed the paragraph quickly. When he’d finished, his blue eyes shot to her in excitement.

“You got in,” he said.

“I got in,” she nodded with barely contained joy. Sirius grabbed her face, giggles erupting from her between kisses. 

“I’m…so…proud…of…you!” punctuated each press of his lips to hers. His hands began to wander to her shoulders, then down and around her waist; the kisses that started out quick now becoming more heated.

“Moony,” Sirius purred as he placed a kiss against her jaw, “I need you to leave now.”

Remus sighed as he grabbed his forgotten book from atop the bed, “I’ll be in the library, please try not to break any of the furniture in here. I’ll see you both at dinner.” Sirius backed her onto the bed as the door shut.

“Mmmmm…I doubt it,” he purred as he knelt between her legs.

———

June 24, 1978

Sirius stroked a thumb down her ankle as she placed a kiss to his temple. Carried atop his back, she laughed as they made their way down towards Hogsmeade Station as a group, choosing to walk instead of using the carriages in the hopes of wringing out every last drop of time together. Behind them, Remus talked animatedly with Lily about a book they were both currently engrossed in, James’ arm casually slung over her shoulder as he pretended to listen intently. Ahead, Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas skipped about, the latter two loudly singing an Olivia Newton-John song they’d heard on the muggle radio. Peter walked beside her and Sirius, the two boys in deep conversation about the state of Puddlemere United, and whether or not they’d win a championship this year. 

From the higher vantage point, she looked around; taking in the sight of her friends, listening to their voices, breathing in the warm Scottish air for the last time. James caught her gaze and smiled, and she knew he was soaking it all in too. 

When they arrived at the station, Sirius set her down gently, kissing her once before boarding the train with James to find them a compartment. The rest of them filed in as younger students ran past, laughing and shouting about their summer plans. She paused at the railing of the platform, staring off across the Black Lake to the castle casting shadows over the dense forest beyond. 

“It’s weird to know we won’t be coming back,” Remus leaned beside her, sweeping his eyes over the landscape, “doesn’t feel real.”

She hummed, “I can’t believe we’ll all never eat breakfast again as a dysfunctional, obnoxious family.”

Remus chuckled, “Or worry about getting caught out of bed after curfew.”

“Or try to wrangle the drunk dynamic duo after a quidditch win.” Memories surfaced of having to coax James and Sirius (both incredibly wasted) down from the rafters of Gryffindor Tower after a particularly raucous victory party last year.

“Oh that’s probably…definitely still going to happen,” Remus smiled. 

She sighed, the sound filled with sadness but also excitement for the future, “I’m glad I got to spend these years with you, Remus. I’m glad we all found each other.”

He threw an arm around her shoulders as they stared at Hogwarts one final time, “I’m excited to spend the rest of my years with you degenerates as well.”

[stoopid-turtle]

BTS in Order Addendum 2

Second and final addendum for rn! This covers the translated bts clips for June that I found. Sadly, the playlist did not have July or Aug, so I can't go over those. If I ever do find July and Aug, I'll try to add it on.

As before, the timeline posts are already updated. I'm just highlighting some things here for those who don't want to hunt for the updates. Also, I tried to clean up some of the formatting but y'all, the formatting on Tumblr is just weird. I can't figure it out and I'm not gonna invest the time to do so, so I've done my best!

I can see where the WZC/GG pairing came from. GG and WZC seem quite close, often playful, and similarly physically affectionate to ggdd. Their dynamic is different, but I can def see how people could pull together a compilation of their bts clips for CPFs. (Not saying they were a real couple, like ggdd.)

Madam Jin did not seem to realize she was cast in a bl adaption.

There's much mentioned of dd's afterglow on 6.19 after the Dragon Boat Festival date, but I've never seen anyone mention that GG is also in a really great mood the next day. His first scene is in the forest with JC and JL, and he's all smiles and says, "I'm so happy this early morning. I really love my team."

JC says "Happy? What nonsense!" For some reason, this sets gg off on the giggles.

Needless to say, GG had his own afterglow.

Also on 6.19, there's this cute exchange between gg and the older lady producer (?), who is also from Chongqing:

Crewmember: So many beauties come from Chongqing. GG: I'm beautiful. Producer lady: More beautiful than me? GG: How can that be? Can't compare!

And then, a couple days later on 6.23, when dd is still gone, gg is in a hellishly rotten mood. He's visibly moody and unresponsive to xl and JC, both of whom try to cheer him up. At one point, he asks someone (his assistant?) if he has any crying scenes that day. And later he says, "Remember this feeling. After a month, when filming, definitely will..." I think he says something more to XL here, but I guess it was too quiet for the translator to hear. The implication to me is that he's gonna try to bring up the experience of his feelings in later scenes when WWX is having similar feelings.

Not everything with regards to the boys has to be about ggdd, so it's possible that gg's bad mood is bc of something else going on in his life. Family, friends, something with his company, politics, a stranger being a jerk, whatever. DD's one possibility among many. I did check out what dd was doing on 6.23 and 6.22, and he's on Produce 101, where he looks as DD (with a mullet) as ever. But there aren't any bts or unscripted clips of him where he might reveal a similar mood, so it's hard to say anything.

So basically, make of gg's bad mood what you will. It could be literally anything.

I need to talk about JC's fake butt

So the clip on 6.25, with JZX, Mianmian, dd, XL, and gg all chatting starts with them talking about JC wearing a "fake butt". I'm guessing butt padding? Some highlights:

DD is confused because he's "not even wearing jeans", to which gg asks if it makes sense to wear a fake butt in jeans.

The "reason" why JC wears this is apparently only known to XL and GG. XL refuses to explain.

GG says if she doesn't explain, dd will just walk up to JC and ask him, "JC, you wear a fake butt?"

Poor WZC did seem a bit put-upon on the set.

Also, unrelated, dd thinks sweat is sexy.

Also, the nasal spray that got passed around: looked sus, but not actually that sus. It's a Thai herbal nasal inhaler, which apparently looks a lot like people doing some uppers. (So much so that gg chastises the cameraman for filming it and XL turns her back to do it)

Also also, gg's rotten mood is gone. The clip on 6.23 of him being in a bad mood is only about 5 min long, and there's only a 45sec clip for 6.24. So basically, we have no idea what might have cheered him up and there are almost a full 2 days of stuff we know nothing about.

[morningstargirl666]

THE LITTLE WOLF UPDATE

It's here. The new improved chapters 1-3 have posted. Read The Big Bad Wolf's prequel from the beginning here. Chapters 4 & 5 should be posted a week from now, either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, depending on when I finish it.

Think of it as my little gift to you all - I hope you all have a Merry Christmas (or a Happy Hanukkah!). And for those who don't celebrate either, then Happy New Year!

If you want more details on all the changes I made to The Little Wolf, read below. It's not too spoil-ery but it's not exactly spoiler-free either, so by all means come back later to see if you found all the changes I made! Extra kudos to those who notices them all.

Over 20k+ of brand new content. This includes two new chapters (chapter 2 & 4 respectively) and around 20 or more new scenes to devour across the entirety of the fic.

Original scenes have been tweaked and expanded upon, with longer conversations or scenes between characters.

All punctuation, grammar and spelling has been proof read repeatedly. I won't say it's all perfect, because I've probably still missed bits, but its in a much better state than it was before. Dialogue grammar in particular has had a complete overhaul, which should make everything much easier to read.

Each chapter has song lyrics at the beginning, fitting the vibes or themes of the chapter. This is a part of a playlist that I will share in Running With Wolves after completing the editing to The Big Bad Wolf (which has it's own share of songs, compiled with a mix of the music I listen to while writing and music I feel embodies each chapter).

In a similar thread, new timestamps have been added whenever there is a time or location jump. Again, this is a change that will be happening to The Big Bad Wolf as well to make flashbacks clearer. Upon completion of TBBW's edit, a timeline will be added to Running With Wolves so you can see all of the events that take place in the series in chronological order.

Historical accuracy has been given a bigger focus. Obviously, there's still a need for suspension of disbelief (vikings never travelled that far south in America, horses weren't introduced to America until the 1500s etc) as I'm no history buff and I personally believe you can allow a little leeway for sake of creative freedom. However, that said, I've tried to right the most egregious wrongs by Julie Plec: the white washing of the native Americans, the almost European-Christian culture of the Mikaelsons' village (views on bastards, women like Rebekah not carrying arms and being all innocently feminine even though they were warrriors too in viking culture, lack of historical accuracy in settings/costumes/props etc) and of course, the complete lack of explanation behind how the vikings arrived in Southern America. Hopefully it should feel more alive, and I'll probably add even more in the final FINAL edit that will happen once I've finished TBBW.

The Little Wolf's main focus is Klaus' characterisation arc. However, in this rewrite, all the Mikaelson siblings get more screen time and you get their characterisation arcs in the background, as a treat.

Henrik is much more fleshed out as a character. He's mischievous and playful, a lot like Kol, with other attributes from the other siblings thrown in. He's also got more Youngest Sibling energy, just as the other siblings have Middle Child/Eldest Child energy, because in a fic about family, really that's the most important detail of them all.

I've delved deeper into Mikael and Esther's treatment of Klaus and how it wasn't much different to how they treated the other siblings after all. Don't get me wrong - in my mind Klaus was dealt the worst of Mikael's physical fury, but I don't believe 'he was singled out' is as black and white as the show would lead you to believe. That's not how abusive households work.

Talking about Klaus' characterisation, think of this fic as the death of Niklaus Mikaelson, leading to the birth of Klaus, The Original Hybrid. The Little Wolf leading the way for The Big, Bad Wolf. You'll get innocent baby boi Niklaus of course, but that same innocent kid has a feral side. When you become a vampire, it heightens who you already are and Klaus - he had that fury and violence in him all along, and it wasn't just because of the wolf.

In a lot of human-era Originals fics and the actual shows, when they're turned into vampires its all very planned out. Idk, like Esther and Mikael are evil villains twirling their moustaches? Turning their children into vampires, its all very pre-meditated, oh the horror and everything. And although there is elements of that in this rewrite (they ARE shitty, evil parents after all) I tried to do something a little original myself. In this fic, more focus is given to the family's grief and how Henrik's death becomes the shatterpoint for EVERYTHING. His death causes every bad decision made by the family from that moment on. It's less of "I planned to make my children the most powerful beings to ever walk this earth" and more of "I tried to save my children and didn't expect ANY of this so wtf do I do now, another bad decision? Yeah let's do that". You feel me? Hopefully that comes across anyways.

Okay what haven't I mentioned yet... WEREWOLF LORE. Yeah that's been expanded on and fleshed out some more. You get a glimpse into my take on how the werewolf gene is triggered, along with a coming of age ritual, general culture, outsider prejudice against werewolves etc...Klaus' views on them is much more explored, especially in relation to his heritage. Kinda playing with the idea that him being a bastard was never the problem to Mikael or Klaus - it was him being a werewolf.

Since I started re-writing this I watched way too many of Mike Flanagan's series'. So I kinda went all 'Midnight Mass' on the Mikaelson's village. Oopsies.

In a similar thread, the raven from the Fall of The House of Usher left a bigger impact on me than I like to admit. That's something so sexy about an omen of death okay leave me alone I NEED THE FORESHADOWING

There's probably more, I'm disclaiming that now, but I've forgotten. Go forth and devour my lovelies ✨

[teamdarkweek]

Couldn't round out the venture without one more crappy picture from me!

I have been sorting your work day by day in the following tags:

#tdw 2024: day 1 - Night and Gem #tdw 2024: day 2 - Memory and Secret #tdw 2024: day 3 - Power and Control #tdw 2024: day 4 - Creation and Malfunction #tdw 2024: day 5 - Hurt and Changed #tdw 2024: day 6 - Together and Journey #tdw 2024: day 7 - Space and Light

If you're still working on your stuff, that is perfectly fine! Tag me on @teamdarkweek whenever you're ready. If I may be so sappy, I just want to say I am blown away by the wonderful pieces that you guys have made this week, it's been such a lovely treat!

My plans for the upcoming for this blog are below, but TL;DR; more to come, prompts to fill, excellent works to share and a small break to take on my end! Really, truly, thank you for playing with me!

I'm determined to read and give highlights/ recs on everyone else's fics that were posted this - find those in #prose if you want to get ahead of me, and I'll post mine under #tdw bookclub. Any that were posted to Ao3 are also in this collection.

I have seven days worth of vague prompts to fill from your polls (#poll) - lets hope those are done by next year!

The playlist I opened for you guys to add to is here, and it's looking good (well done for reminding me My Chemical Romance exists!). It's not freely editable any more, but you can still spy, and if you think something is desperately missing, do let me know!

This blog will get a bit of a revamp in the coming weeks, pushing the rules and prompts aside for your wonderful works!

I'm going to pull some stats on what prompts work, assess whether or not I succeeded in my goals, and make a plan for a project like this in the future. That analysis may well be posted on here.

And finally, I need a little break. In general, the queue is going to be slower on this blog than it has been, perhaps more like 5 posts a day instead of 25, so I can cut down on the maintenance it takes. If I decide to run in 2025, the hype train will start again in Autumn, but I'll still be here if you want to chat! Or, find me on my all-sonic blog @wonderinc-sonic

That's all for now, lots and lots of love! <3

[seeminglydark]

hey, just thought I'd drop by and let you know that I love your art and comics, they're very cool :)

like many people I suspect, I found your work through the detention fanart (love the detail on the docs and john's patch pants). I don't know if I want to be john or date john (the answer is both). loved the detail of john's killer klowns poster too!

presumably since so many of your characters are punk, you are too. if so do you have any music recommendations?

thanks for reading :)

Hello! I'm so glad to hear that!

ahah yeah i never expected that piece to blow up like it did, im super grateful about it, it was definitely an experiment in style so im glad people like it so much and found my comics and stuff through it. (its not technically fanart though, i am raptorjules, the artist of the detention piece and creator of the comics and characters in it, though its so different than my usual and ofc i posted under this tumblr handle so i know a lot of people don't realize we are the same person!) also re: john, SAME friend. john is kind of a self portrait of a person i could have been when i was younger, if that makes sense, had i decided back then to fully transition. im really happy that people like him so much, he means so so much to me!

hahaha you got me, I was a teenager in the early to mid 90's, i listen to all things these days and punk is SUCH A BROAD GENRE and i tend to lean toward ska punk or folk punk more than crust or hardcore these days, but lets see, i'll give you some rec's of bands that inspire my art and ofc john in general. also you can head over to youtube, under raptorjules, and there should be a playlist called Johnny's Music that goes along with the song rec's on the Creaky arc in my comic Seemingly Dark, if you liked those songs!

So for more modern punk music, i love anything by The Interrupters (ska punk forever plz,) and Dog Park Dissidents for some queer punk (especially their toxic cover, fight me.) And Skatune Network for more wonderfully queer ska/skapunk.

In high school at the height of my Outwardly Studded and Spiked Punk Days i listened to a lot of Rancid (specifically the Life Won't Wait album) Descendants, Social Distortion, the Violent Femmes (the live Add it Up album if you can find it is the best one imo) Jugheads Revenge (Image is Everything album), Wizo (german queercore punk, i like the Herrenhandtasche album.) pretty much anything by The Mountain Goats, and finally, The Bouncing Souls are my all time favorite band, punk or not, any album, but the Hopeless Romantic album inspired so many of my stories and pieces plus its great driving music!

and ofc Johns theme song is Social Distortions Story of My Life. idk if this helps, ive never thought my music taste was terribly interesting or good, but i listen to what i like and what inspires me.

thanks for reading and reaching out! and id love some music recs from anyone who would like to leave them in the comments or hashtags, especially music that reminds you of my art or stories, punk or not!

-rj

[thepapergirlandthespiegelman]

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world who still remembers and loves CDs. Vinyl records have made a comeback and are now considered cool among certain varieties of hipster and audiophile, but CDs haven't had the same treatment.

And like, to some extent, I kinda understand that. CDs aren't cool. Records are cool. They're big and textured and elegant and they're objectively old enough to feel vintage rather than dated. They're not exactly durable but they make up for their fragility with their other positive qualities, and you could certainly argue that warping and scratches add exactly the kind of character to a record that we've lost with digital music and therefore crave from physical media. A slightly damaged CD pretty much always just becomes totally unplayable.

So I get it. And I'll readily admit that the biggest reason why I like CDs is simply that I grew up with them and have fond memories of them. But I do also think it's objectively true that there are certain positive features unique to CDs. I will never tire of the experience of giving and receiving mix CDs. You can't do that with a record. (I mean, I don't think you can? Not easily, at any rate.) And it's not the same as a playlist! It's not the same. When you make a mix CD, you not only curate the music for the recipient, you burn the disc, you decorate it, you make the sleeve or pick the jewel case and make the paper insert for it, figure out how to wrap/package it. I mean, obviously you don't have to do all of these things, but the opportunity is there for a lot of creativity and love. And in the end the person gets both the physical object as well as being able to make digital copies of the songs on their computer (which also allows them to use those songs in their future mix CDs, continuing the cycle!).

The mix CD is just so unpretentious, wholesome, and kind. It gave the average person unprecedented power over how music was curated and shared. (I mean, of course mix tapes did something similar, and maybe they deserve more credit than I give them, simply because they're from before my time; but I kind of have to assume that CD mixing is a much simpler and more efficient process.) The mix CD creates a loving context for experiencing music. Here, I made this! Special from me, for you! I think context is one of the things which we most desperately miss in this modern age, where we're fed our newest songs by the goddamn algorithm (whether that's Spotify, TikTok, YouTube, or whatever). The mix CD is personal, human, earnest and sweet.

(And yes, to some extent, playlists do this as well, and they have their own advantages. But I think the shareability of playlists, while making it possible for many more people to experience your creation, has ended up discouraging the intimate act of making something just for one other person and instead promotes the idea that what is most desirable is to have your work seen by the greatest possible number of people.)

I started thinking about this because I saw another post talking about the removal of CD/DVD drives from computers and it really does make me sad thinking that this may be the final nail in the coffin of the mix CD. I've had to depend on external disc drives to make my mixes, and I'm sure that for most people, CDs have passed totally out of their awareness.

I'm not saying the mix CD is the end all be all of sharing music. There are already lots of other ways to share music and I would quite like to think that we will continue to invent new ways. But I do find it very sad that the art of the mix CD is dying, and while the mix CD itself may be doomed, I really hope that we don't forget its virtues, and find a way to keep the spirit of the thing alive. Physical object as well as digital copies that can be shared with others, permanent ownership of the music (rather than just streaming/renting), the burning and reading of this object being cheap and accessible, personal touch/high customizability (not being limited simply to song order, a single cover image, and a short description), intimacy. These are what I don't want to lose.

[manonamora-if]

Weekly check in. Some little stuff, some bigger stuff.

Current word count: 23.323 (Ch.5), >8k (Ch.6)

And we're finally back on track with Harcourt, babyyyy. After a month of eh from both me (with the editing) and MelS (writing the next chapter), we both managed to break through our respective blocks.

As of a few days ago, I sent back the edited Chapter 5 to MelS, so he could answer my comments and check the changes. I finally got to read the missing bits (and they are creepy and yucky)... Can't wait to code all of that when it is ready. We definitely need another round of MelS editing the text and me checking it, before I can add that to the file.

Until I get the file back, I'll focus on other projects.

Like...

Yerup... I ended up finishing it. A little binksi with more vibes than story. Click if you dare :P

Making a binksi (or a bitsy/bipsi) had been something on my bucket list for a while now (almost a year actually), and I finally got to make one for realsies!

Honestly, the hardest part in all of this... was making the tiles/sprites in 8x8 pixels ;-; Anyway, the code is freely available on itch and my GitHub.

Fixed some accessibility issues yesterday:

textbox not getting in focus properly

links/buttons not changing state when in focus but not hovered

added image descriptions to pictures in French/English

Also added the logos of Twine and SugarCube when the game loads. Those are clickable too.

I have worked a tad more on the UI/missing elements. But not as much as I should have.

Next week, the final update should be out.

This is what I'll be fixing this month. Officially reopened the code files, stared at it, and cried. It's so bad. It's such a mess...

Not looking forward to it, but it needs fixing! (I've asked the Forum for help too in the commands...)

ALSO, I've decided there will be a hyperlink version of this game. Instead of the commands, click on words. It will be in the same file, and you get to choose at the start.

I’ve finished reviewing the EctoComp entries (except the Spanish-only ones because I suck at Spanish...) and have started reviewing the Bare-Bones Jam entry. An updated version of the reviews have been queues on the IFDB and @manonamora-if-reviews. I will probably go back to the IFComp entries after that (probably after the voting deadline... I've done 40 already...).

-_-

I've made a completely new intro post with all of the place I'm at (if you'd rather not be on Tumblr). It was a long time coming, and now I have clear channels of where I'm posting about stuff. Just need to be consistent...

I've also started migrating old dev logs and posts to my blog, especially the longer ones where I have a lot to say. Since the search function and archive on Tumblr is eh, I get to keep the important ones (not all of them are) in a more organised place. They are still on Tumblr, btw. It's not gone, just copied. It's been nice to revisit old dev logs, and see how far I've come (it's been a long way). It's pretty humbling (especially the typos, omg... I fixed so many of those).

-_-

The IFComp and EctoComp, are always looking for players/voters. If you want to play a few short-ish games, take advantage of that! There is only a few days left for the IFComp and a few weeks for the EctoComp.

The @seedcomp-if is always looking for inspiration (text, images, code, etc…) in this current first round. If you have half-baked ideas or anything, really, come submit something!

Over @neointeractives, ShuffleComp! is looking for playlists and participats :)

-_-

And that's it I think...

[allisian]

K/DA Lore pt.3

It took me a while to decide on how teen Evelynn would look like. So I held off my last post until I could finalise her design. Yes I heavily based her off Maddison Beers look at the 2018 worlds. Its a shame I wasn't able to showcase her fashion I had in mind. Perhaps I'll try drawing a full body reference in the future.

Time for Kai'sa! KDA's most shallow member! (I love Kai'sa guys I swear. It's riot that ruined her potential.)

As a child Kaisa would travel a lot because of her father's work (military) She would grow up as a model student fluent in many languages and educated in geography and history. Kai'sa is socially underdeveloped due to her "really moves around" upbringing. She also is the "Broken Ace" type (nomadic life), always striving for perfection in her grades and career but in turn suffers socially. This makes Kai'sa very awkward and oblivious to social cues when interacting with people outside of a professional manner. Because of this, she was typically outcasted throughout the many schools she attended. Others feared her like she was some sort of monster. A creature too mysterious and focused on achieving to be understood. School became a hunt to survive mentality to kaisa and nothing else mattered in her world. Yet the longing to belong was still there in her heart. After discovering dance in her teens Kai'sa would start to evolve. She never had hobbies or any indulgences in her life. All she knew was how to survive an ever-changing environment as she constantly moved with her father's tours and deployments around the world. With dance, she finally opened herself up to the idea of living over surviving. From ballet in Russia to hip hop in the Americas Kaisa would find the universal language to feel herself and to connect to those around her no matter where in the world she was. Kaisa grew to have a passion for the arts, she discovered she was diversly gifted in creativity. Her hardworking attitude and serious studying nature helped her achieve many degrees. As an adult, she would make her own studio the Firefly Collective (located in America) where she would share her passion and teach others the wonderful world of dance and would go on to create a popular youtube channel for her studio (think 1MILLION Dance Studio). She was happy being a teacher and was astonished to have been visited by Ahri and Evelynn. Kaisa wasn't too aware of K-pop artists so she didn't recognize them as celebrities but her students did. They freaked out when popstars Ahri and Evelynn entered their dance studio. Seeking out someone to be their choreographer. Kaisa's students urged her to take this opportunity and so Kaisa became the third member of kda.

*Yes Kai'sas lore was mostly ripped off the comics. But I was able to add more context

*in 2018, one year before KDA debuted she won Hong Kong's "Can you dance?" competition. This success was what put her on Ahri and Evelynn's radar. (Kai'sa was 21 at the time)

*Kai'sa had a complete personality overhaul when she discovered dance. She went from the recluse, studyholic to the hippie, free spirited type.

*In her life Kai'sa has lived in 10 countries: China, South Africa, South Korea, France, America, Australia, United Kingdom, Russia, India and Argentina.

*She was born in south africa (as a omage to her default voice actor)

Art by me

Here's a link to my playlist of the music I think suits this pre KDA Kai'sa

(Edit links to the other KDA girls)

Ahri

Evelynn

Akali

[zenaidamacrouras1]

Backhoe Bonus Drabble

This is a random summer scene that doesn't fit into any of my Backhoe chapters. I'll have a series of these that I'll probably add on as a separate work in the Backhoe series after the whole fic is finished, but have a tumblr drabble for now. This takes place during the time jump between chapters 19 and 20. I don't think it's majorly spoilery, and I don't think you need to read the fic to get it. If you like to read a fic pure with no surprises whatsoever, maybe read the fic first.

Chapters 1-20 are here, chapters 21 and 22 are mostly ready and will post this week and next, probably going to be like 25 chapters total please stop laughing at me I'm trying to end this damn thing. (initial chapter count was like 5) (go ahead and laugh) (but also feel free to encourage me, I think I'm finally out of my writer's block, yay!)

Late July:

Ever since Bucky became manager for his crew, he’s tried to make sure they don’t have unexpected afternoons off. On the one hand, sure, there’s nothing better than finishing a job early and peacing the fuck off to head home. On the other, well, you don’t get paid for hours you don’t work. So, he tries to make it so everyone’s getting paid, is all. 

But sometimes, the timing just doesn’t work out like that. Right now, it’s 1 pm on a Friday, and they’ve wrapped up this gig, and it don’t make sense to start on the next job till Monday morning, so everyone heads home. Bucky promises some long days next week to make up for it on that paycheck. So it’s backslaps and a few dirty jokes while they all pack up, and then Bucky’s in his truck driving the winding roads back home. 

Steve’s gonna be there, he thinks, with a grin he’s glad no one can see. Steve’s just come back last night from helping out with some action out in San Francisco. Greenpeace paid him to fly out there and do trainings on art shit and paint some big-ass banners.

Bucky’d like to burst with pride when he saw those damn banners hanging from a god damn skyscraper, protesting globalization. Steve was on strict orders from Greenpeace and one J.B. Barnes not to get arrested himself; he just painted the banners. Bucky had shown the pictures to Peter, cause Peter was the only guy at work he’s out with on both the politics stuff and on the gay stuff. Peter’s genuine “Holy shit, man” was worth all the teasing that followed about how fucking lovesick Bucky is about his sexy little anarchist boyfriend. 

But also, he had missed Steve, fuck it all but he did, and dammit the guy was only gone five days. It doesn’t bode well for when Steve goes back to college next month, but Bucky’s never been one to worry about a debt before it comes due. That just means suffering twice.

Bucky listens to the truck for any errant noises as he drives. He'd thought he heard a knock this morning, but apparently whatever it was has worked itself out for now. He switches on the stereo.

Bucky tries one of the playlists Steve loves listening to, featuring Against Me! and a bunch of other political punk bands. Bucky doesn’t hate it, he doesn’t, but fuck, it’s a pretty summer’s day and the sunlight’s filtering through the leaves and everything green is just so happy to be alive and growing in the mountains right now. That music is so damn strident, sometimes a man just wants to enjoy some peace in this world and forget about all the problems. After half a song, Bucky switches to some bluegrass. He and Steve don’t have to like the same music, he figures. 

Becca Jane, never shy with her opinion, has declared that Steve’s music of choice sounded "like you stuck a bull in a barrel with an electric guitar and shoved it down a flight of stairs." About three days into listening to the punk music coming out of Steve’s studio in the laundry room, she’d come home from her MCAT prep course and handed Steve a pair of brand-new bluetooth headphones and an ultimatum. 

So the Barnes kids like country music and their houseguest, who happens to be Bucky's boyfriend, likes punk. Steve switched to headphones and there really haven’t been any other major conflicts with him living there. It’s kind of a miracle, Bucky thinks, as he turns onto Brushy Fork Holler Road. Jean’s out in her front yard gardening, and he raises two fingers up off the wheel to say hi, slowing in case she’s got something to say, but she just waves and looks back down to her precious rose bushes. Sometimes Bucky thinks she spends more time fussing over her flowers than Bucky does raising five kids, but to each their own. Looks pretty, anyway. 

Then it's just another minute until he hears the crunch of gravel under his truck tires and he's looking at the house he's lived in his whole life. 

The house is quiet when he climbs out of the truck in the driveway. No one’s expecting him, so that ain’t a surprise. The girls are probably down at the swimming hole or playing video games at Maria and Monica’s. He kicks off his boots on the front porch and goes prowling through the house. He grins when he hears Steve singing from the laundry room. 

Steve’s singing is—well, the thing is, if Steve was good at everything, that just wouldn’t be fair, now would it? Steve’s a great strategist on this pipeline shit; he’s been such a help to Bucky on his quest to stop the fucking thing. He has a great head for the lawyer stuff and the activist strategy side of it. He’s learning how to cook and getting real good at it. He’s obviously a gifted artist, as everyone knows, and he’s fucking nice as hell too. The girls love him, and they are a tough audience. 

And, well, he has other skills Bucky ain’t shouting to the world about, that’s private, but Bucky sure ain’t got nothing to complain about. When it comes to the bedroom, Steve’s a god damn prodigy, Bucky thinks with a shiver of pleasure down his spine. Steven Brooklyn Grant God Damn Rogers. 

So it just makes sense that Steve would have a few faults, and that's the most charitable thing Bucky can say about Steve’s singing. Steve couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket—hell, he couldn’t carry a tune in a semi-truck full of buckets. He’d flip that semi right over, highway’d be backed up and on fire from here to Timbuktu. 

Which is why Bucky’s at the door of the laundry room before he can piece together what song Steve’s torturing to within an inch of its life. It’s the fucking Dixie Chicks. Or just the Chicks now, whatever. Steve is obediently wearing the headphones Becca told him to wear at the risk of death if she had to hear “that atonal screeching you call music one more fucking time" and so he has no idea how loud he’s “singing”—honestly, it ain’t anything Bucky’d categorize as singing, but there are words and they are carrying through the door. 

I wanna walk and not runI wanna skip and not fallI wanna look at the horizon and not see a building standing tallI wanna be the only one for miles and milesExcept for maybe you and your simple smile

Bucky feels a slow sly smile stretch across his face and pulls the door open. Steve’s singing a country music love song. Steve's facing away from him, wearing just a pair of boxer briefs and a loose black t-shirt. Bucky sees Steve's pants are in the sink; he must have gotten paint on them and taken them off to soak. 

Steve's got one hand wide to the side like he's balancing on a tightrope and the other is painting some kind of white accent on a flower. He makes it look so easy, light movements bringing life wherever Steve touches.

Cowboy taaaaake me awaaaaayyy

Steve caterwauls to his flowers, and Bucky can't take the suspense anymore. He waits until the paintbrush is a safe distance from the canvas, then slips his arms around Steve's slender waist and lowers his lips to Steve's neck. Steve jumps with a little shout and whirls around, dropping his paintbrush. He jerks his earbuds out. 

"You're early!" Steve gasps. He's blushing something fierce.

"Who's this cowboy you're singing about running away with, and should I be jealous?" Bucky whispers into Steve's smooth, pretty neck. He gives a small kiss. "Don't tell me I gotta fight a cowboy for your honor. I ain't much with a six-shooter, and I am kindly scared of horses."

"You're scared of horses?" Steve asks incredulously, always looking for something to direct the conversation away from his own feelings. 

"Maybe they're scared of me? Me and horses never had much opportunity to get to know each other, makes more sense to be scared of horses than chickens," Bucky says, and offers a few more kisses to Steve's neck. 

"Horses are majestic and chickens are evil,” Steve says darkly, and sighs, leaning into Bucky’s lips on his neck. “Hmm. Well, my cowboy is very handsome, you should definitely be jealous."

"Maybe I'll steal him away. I got lots of beans. Cowboys cain't resist a good bean."

"Well, my cowboy is good-looking but a bit slim in the brains department, so he might like you, actually." 

Bucky huffs a laugh into Steve's neck, and drops a few more kisses, running his mouth softly up and down Steve's neck. Steve suddenly busts out a loud laugh, which is not the reaction Bucky was going for. He'd been expecting more of Steve's little sighs. 

"What?" Bucky says in frustration, when Steve's still laughing. 

"Buh—" Steve can't hardly breathe for laughing. 

"Spit out whatever fool insult you've done come up with, then," Bucky says, a smile quirking up despite himself. Steve looks so fucking pleased, the jerk. 

"Buckaroo!" Steve manages to burst out with a wicked grin.

"Oh, hell no," Bucky says. "Nope. Absolutely not. I ain't a fucking cowboy." Steve's still laughing at him.

"That right, Buckarooooo?" he taunts. 

"I'm a hillbilly. It's different," Bucky says with a mock threat in his voice. 

"Okay, okay, so what do you have that my imaginary cowboy doesn't?" Steve smirks at him. Everything is a challenge with this guy. 

"Hmm, it's more of a show-don't-tell kinda thing," Bucky murmurs, moving back into Steve's space. "See, cowboys are all talk."

"So what are hillbillies?" Steve says, suddenly breathy, Bucky notes with satisfaction.

"Action, Stevie, we're about action."

It ain't but a second till Bucky's pulled out that sweet little sigh he wanted from Steve, and a whole symphony of pretty sounds after that.

[more-than-a-princess]

@dcviated asked: 10 and 15!

Munday Writing Stuff - Accepting!

Something that bothers you to read in RP specifically?

Two big ones would be muses with no discernible faults or weaknesses (the Mary Sue/Gary Stu sort of muse that should be appealing and attractive to everyone. I have chosen not to follow blogs for this very reason: decent writing quality, but too-perfect muses), and quiet/brooding/introspective muses whose threads don't leave much to interact with or respond to. Closely followed by replies that answer questions from your previous reply, but don't add anything else to the thread.

But a Danganron.pa-specific annoyance? DR muses whose talents never factor into their lives. Yes, they're written as being admitted to Hope's Peak Academy based on such-and-such talent, and then the muns...never show them engaging with that talent. Not even schoolwork.

As fun as high school stories can be, the whole point of Hope's Peak, at least in the Main Course, is to gather students who are incredibly skilled in specific talents while aiming to have them be wholly and completely defined by them, in order to obtain the brightest possible future. A secured career for life, money, fame, etc. That's a lot of pressure for a 16 to 18 year old! There's even canon characters who don't want to be defined by their specific talents, and some who want to pursue other interests but due to their status at Hope's Peak, they can't.

And I really wish more DR muns would explore those topics: how did their muse's talents end up shaping their muse? Did they peak in high school? Did they eventually go on to the success the school promised?

This is more of what bothers me not to read in RP, but I think it still qualifies.

How many times do you reread a reply?

I talked about how many times I read my own in another reply, but here I'll share how many times I reread someone else's starter to me/reply in a thread:

Around a dozen.

Especially if the reply is long and/or there's a Big Dramatic Moment going on.

This is mostly due to my own writing process which involves something like this:

get tagged in reply and/or starter

read said post

Immediately get a few dialogue options that I scribble down for later

think on it for a little while/overnight/while I do something else

sit down to write properly. Read through the post at least twice more.

Put the kettle on for pot of tea #1

Look at my earlier/immediate notes and either decide 'there's something here that might be okay' or 'well this is crap and I have no idea how to match my writing partner's quality and make them feel All The Things'

Decide I need to put on a playlist. Immediately get distracted by whatever random track Spotify thinks my Daily Mix needs.

"Well, I'll read this again and then do some google searches for thread ideas. For accuracy, you know."

This inevitably leads to a deep dive of: blogs, reddit, wikipedia, and/or YouTube

"Oh, this would be a great idea for another thread/a future thread! But wait, I was supposed to get inspo for -this- thread"

Goes back to read the reply a few more times

Right around here is when I try to write the first paragraph and yell about why I can't form words good. I'm an absolute imposter of a writer because why am I not turning around thousands of words per day.

Someone messages me on discord with something inevitably more appealing than trying to write this reply. I engage with it because that's a cute meme or great idea for muse shenanigans

Put on the kettle for pot of tea #2 while browsing the dash

Laugh at some dashcomm, send some memes, immediately forget where I was going with that thread reply

Read the reply once again while the tea steeps

...finally write and queue my reply to the reply, possibly while annoyed this took so long.

This is also why writing more than three replies or starters per day for me is a real achievement. Because each time, I go through this process. I'm sure there's a better way to focus and do things but I've yet to figure it out.

[greeneyezblackheart]

(Before I continue, I'm just reminding you that I have not been a rock/ hair metal fan for very long. I have for about a year, but only recently have I started actually "exploring" all the most popular bands and their music. So I don't want you to think I've been living under a rock my whole life. I promise you, I don't 😅.)

That being said, I finally gave Metallica a try. I knew about three of their songs before I listened to them in more depth, and I liked those three. But after spending a few days listening to mainly them to get familiar with them, I have to say that they are a little too heavy metal for my liking. Now, I do NOT think they are a bad band, and I don't think they're overrated. If you like all-out heavy metal, it doesn't get much better than that.

I would never, ever openly diss Metallica to anybody. They are NOT a bad band. I understand they are a legendary band and that a lot of people love them. And I don't necessarily dislike them. I'm only saying that they are a little too heavy metal for me to really call myself a fan of, if that makes sense.

But, I did find a handful of their songs I really like. I can count eight songs by them I liked and will add to my playlist. They are- Ride The Lightning, Master Of Puppets, Enter Sandman, For Whom The Bell Tolls, Nothing Else Matters, The Unforgiven, and One. That's seven, but I'll add in their live cover of The Ecstasy Of Gold. I LOVE that song so much, and I love Ennio Morricone's music. So including that, that's eight. My favorite out of those is The Unforgiven. I LOVED it. But I don't care to venture any further with Metallica is what I guess I'm trying to say.

Also, don't judge- Kirk Hammett was super cute in the 80s. He had such a baby face 🥰. His hair was the most beautiful thing about him to me, though. It reminds me of Slash's. 💛

So, what are your thoughts on Metallica? I think I see you post about them from time to time- occasionally.

(Sorry- this was so long and I don't think a single word of it made sense. If this doesn't make any sense at all, feel free to ignore it. 😅)

I do love Metallica. Their early stuff IS very heavy. My fave era would probably be ‘86-‘91 which would be the albums Master Of Puppets, …And Justice For All, and the Black Album. I see you��ve got songs from both those albums among the ones you like. The Black Album is one that I grew up on (it came out the same year the Illusion albums did) so it was one I played a lot. Nothing Else Matters is probably my favorite. It’s a really beautiful song if you listen to the lyrics. Most people probably don’t realize that it’s actually a love song. Enter Sandman, One, Welcome Home (Sanitarium), Fade To Black, Sad But True, and Wherever I May Roam are some other favorites. If you like The Unforgiven and Nothing Else Matters, you may like Welcome Home (Sanitarium) and Fade To Black. Give those a listen. They’re not so heavy as a lot of their stuff. As far as looks go, I’m not super attracted to any of them really. I guess I’d pick bassist Jason Newstead over anybody else. Or Dave Mustaine, he’s cute.

Side note: I like Ennio Morricone too. I love instrumentals and movie scores. My favorite composer is John Barry. LOOOOVE his music.

You know I never mind your long messages, Hannah Banana. We haven’t talked like this in a minute so I was starting to miss you. 🖤🥰

[sleepymccoy]

I'm really sorry I don't have Spotify either and can't figure out how to check what's already been added, but if these aren't already there, could I add "Adversary" by Les Dérailleurs, which I think fits how Spock and Bones argue with and push each other to complete each other, and also "Talk Too Much" by COIN, which I think fits their whole emotionally-constipated-about-it-but-clearly-like-each-other thing?

Thank you and sorry again!

Congratulations on being the 50th song!

I had no expectations that this playlist would be so popular! It's fantastic. Although I haven't tidied up the order/structure of it since we were at like 25 so it'll be a bit all over the place genre-wise for the moment

And please, no need to be sorry at all! Neither of those had been added. I'll be sure to post the final list once we're done!