#i'll find out whatever's going on at the next gig which is in a few weeks but i can't be bothered to wait that long | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

titlemewickedwonderland · 2 years

Text

Shy Girl - Jamie Campbell Bower (One-Shot)

If you love my work please consider reblogging!

Summary: Diana is a good friend of Joseph Quinn's from another movie set where she helped as a makeup artist. When the actor mentions he doesn't have a date to S4 premiere afterparty Diana is more than happy to give her sweetheart friend a boost of confidence. Only it ends up with her in a dress and heels while feeling like such a wallflower amongst the fun-loving actors that are so out of her league.

Requested by: Shy One

Song Inspiration: Shy by Leon Bridges

A soft sigh left her slightly parted lips as she popped her head back into the view of the screen and squinted at her phone at the video of one of her good friends who looked so glum as he finished ranting on and on about something or another. Something about a premier for his latest gig and the afterparty. First it was the concern for an outfit that he wanted to look good in and the next they somehow got to the part that he didn't have a date to go with him. A man like Joseph Quinn could get anyone he damn well pleased but much like Diana herself, her friend was kind of shy when it came to speaking with women in that manner.

"Stop it." her British accent thickened slightly on those two words as she propped her chin on her palm while she sat at her kitchen island with a cup of steaming tea in front of her. "You look like a kicked puppy. I can't deal with that look Quinn." she pointed a manicured finger at the screen seeing the guilty look the man returned as he slouched in his leather chair; probably in the hotel somewhere.

"You act like it's the end of the world. Why can't you just go alone? It's not that big of a deal is it?" one perfect brow rose as she peered at his image on her screen.

The pout he gave her was adorable and brought out a smile to her face which she promptly hid behind the rim of her mug as she sipped her tea. She was trying to stay strong in her resolve and not cave to that man. They'd been friends for many years ever since she met him on the set of Dickensian back in 2015 and it's been what like…she mentally counted back 7 years that they've known each other when she had been working as a makeup assistant as an intern for the set; they realized they were two peas in the same pod and never went a day without talking even when they could not be there in person all the time. Like this current moment here for instance. While he was in New York right now stuck up in a hotel the day before the premiere he was supposed to attend with his fellow cast members of Stranger Things, Diana was holed up in her studio apartment all the way in Birmingham, the UK enjoying her morning. She often forgot that her hometown was actually 5 hours ahead of New York time so while it was 2 in the afternoon here it was 9 in the morning over there for her friend.

"Can't you come, please? It would mean the world to me, love!" her grey hazel green eyes refocused on the man looking like a lost soul staring at her and it was probably that look that made her guard crumble if only a little.

"Joseph, I'm 5 hours ahead of you right now sweets. I don't think I'd be able to make it. I'd have to cancel my appointments, find the first flight available, pack, find me a hotel, fly over there-" she rambled listing things off on her fingers as she went

"I'll pay for everything. You don't have to worry about finding a hotel, you can just come stay at mine with me for a few days and I'll find you the quickest plain ticket out here. Come on Ana please love!" oh he was begging now, she knew when he begged like that he could get whatever he wanted. God bless her that small miracles happened or else if that man was here with her now he most likely would have cuddled, tickled, and given her kisses (all platonic of course!) until she'd have agreed to go with him.

She pinched the bridge of her nose a moment and inhaled trying to keep her cool but as soon as her hazel eyes opened again to look at her phone screen she knew she was done for. He knew it too as soon as he'd seen the way her shoulder slumped and her lips pursed in just the way he remembered when she caves. Grinning wide the British man gave her a few air kisses as he thanked her over and over despite her not verbally agreeing to go. They already knew she would. Damn that man for being a freaking Golden Retriever best friend and her for being such a dog person.

That is how she ended up in New York dressed to the nines in a fancy dress that did not suit her clothing style and a death grip on her friend's arm. She preferred to be the girl in the background who no one really noticed but she knew that would change as soon as she stepped out of the car on Joseph's arm. The man rarely ever went anywhere with a pretty lady on his arm so to have something change would definitely set the tabloids on fire in mere hours. She should have thought of that sooner but now it was far too late. Her only condolence was that she was not alone and she had faces that she recognized. She had spoken to a few cast members of Joseph's on a rare occasion that he'd face time her during a break in filming a scene so the hugs and smiles exchanged between herself and those lovely human beings were genuine and helped put her at ease. All except one. He made her nervous just by existing but he did not know. It had been a back and forth thing since the beginning of screening of Stranger Things Season 4 that Jamie Campbel Bower was in many ways part of Joseph's life. As they had stated once before in an interview they were friends for a while after they had met during script reading and sort of clung to each other on day one despite it being a few years before they would actually film together.

Diana was content to merely be the eye candy for Joseph because just like Diana as stated above they were rather shy creatures so big parties like this was not exactly what they were used to. That much was evident as Jamie and Joseph seemed to be all over each other and chatting it up while Diana stood to the side or often enough with a hold on her friend whenever she feared he was leaving her. She should have tried to enjoy herself but the dress she wore was just too fancy and her shoes were too tight on her feet. The music was pumping though but she didn't have the bravery to go seek out a dance partner. She enjoyed others dancing though; Gaten was one of her favorites as he stole the show with his solo number. She hadn't even realized whenever Joseph had excused himself to speak with someone wanting his attention and that the arm that was resting near hers was not his but in fact Jamie's; not until she absently wrapped her slender fingers around his bicep and froze taking a second to realize that the muscle beneath her touch was most certainly not Joseph's. Not only that but also the fact…there was no white suit jacket covering the tanned flesh she gripped. She let him go like he burned her and glanced up with flushed cheeks to see him smiling down at her and she was grateful for the colorful lights in the hue of pink and purple that hid her flush of mortification.

"I'm sorry! I thought you were Joseph." she said weakly clasping her hands in front of her and turning her gaze away frantically

"You're alright darling I promise! No harm done." the tall blonde replied with a friendly grin on his too perfect face. "How are you liking the party? We don't often get graced by your presence you know. If I hadn't met you over video chats I'd have thought Joseph was making you up." he teased but his joking had not brought a smile to her face as she refused to look at him

It was not that she did not find Jamie's company pleasant enough or his conversation entertaining but more from the fact that her heart was hammering in her chest making it hard to breath; it didn't help but every breath she did take was intoxicated by Jamie's cologne that invaded her senses and made her want to melt into a puddle or better yet buried her nose in his neck and inhale like a mad woman. Or perhaps it could have been the fact that Joseph dressed in all white from his suite to his under shirt all the way down to his damned shoes looking like an angel while Jamie looked like the opposite of angelic wearing tight black slacks held up with a black belt around his slender waist and a T-shirt two sizes too small clutching his upper torso and black shoes on his feet. If Joseph looked innocent and angelic, Jamie looked like sin; sex on two legs sort of sin, and he was making her nervous. When Diana is nervous she shuts down whether by defaulting to short answers or just altogether zoning out from anxiety as she was trying to do now but the ever presence warmth of Jamie's body next to hers as they stood off to the side enjoying the fesitivies of others people having fun Daina was simply trying to focus on breathing.

"Are you alright love? You're looking a little pale." a ringed hand came into view and she jerked her head away in surprise looking over with wide eyes at a concerned looking Jamie as his brows knitted on his forehead. There was something about his eyes that made the woman feel guilty. She hadn't meant to react so violently and she tried to cover it up with a small smile as her hazel eyes downcast down to the floor as the lights from above danced on the glossy surface

"Sorry Jamie. I'm just…I'm not used to these events like you said." her voice was so soft that Jamie had to bent down a little to try and hear over the laughter and music.

"Well, if you need a moment love, we can always step outside. I was going to take a smoke break anyways-" he pointed over his shoulder with a hopeful look but her head quickly shook making her long hair slide along the skin of her exposed shoulders.

"I'm okay thank you. I'm just going to wait for Joseph since I'm here with him." her tone was a little bit off putting and Jamie's friendly demeanor fell just a bit as he nodded.

"Yeah alright. No worries." he replied before giving a polite smile and drifted away.

Gone from the orbit of his presence the woman inhaled shakily and placed a hand on her forehead. God had she been so rude to Jamie? The look his eyes held could have rivaled Joseph's puppy eyes and it made a stab of guilt lace through her chest. When her friend finally returned he saw her looking a bit anxious and figured she was going into another panic attack but when he opened his mouth to speak in favor of comforting her Diana beat him to the punch.

"I think I've upset Jamie." she stated looking around the room worriedly. "I-I was just so nervous to speak with him and made a fool of myself that I like…you know I shut down and stuff. A-and I think I was unintentionally rude to the poor man because he left with such a kicked look" she rushed to say as she lifted a hand to bite at her thumbnail

"Hey hey love calm down. C'mere sweets. C'mere." Joseph pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back soothingly as he rocked them from side to side. "You're alright. I'm sure there was no harm done. If you really want to make sure I just saw Jamie out for a smoke. Would you like me to go speak with him?" he asked pulling away to peer down at her with concerned brown eyes.

A small smile graced her features and she shook her head. "No…I need to be a big girl about this and face the music. Just…point me out in the right direction and I'll only be a minute." she said just loud enough for him to hear.

There was a glitter of warmth in the actor's eyes as he booped her nose before allowing her to leave the cage of his arms. "Through those curtains and out the door to your left that says exit." he informed her.

With shaking steps and trembling fingers clutching into the fabric of her dress the young woman gave a curt nod and walked across the room avoiding everyone else before her figure disappeared through the black-out curtains. An amused look flashed behind Joseph's smile as he shook his head; love birds. He may be slow sometimes but he knew when there were crushes in the making. Diana found the exit door minutes later and pushed it open just as the door itself was swinging out and she found herself collapsing into Jamie's chest. Oh god let the ground swallow her whole!

She peeked up at him smelling the hint of cigarette smoke on his breath as his eyes peered down at hers in surprise not expecting a pretty girl to just flop into his arms while he was on his way inside. Straightening up Diana bit her lip and allowed her arms to drop from his chest and to wrap around herself instead.

"Sorry, Jamie." she flushed; the light above the door making her blush prominent against her skin now that the colors of the party room no longer hid it. "About this.." she waved her arm around "A-and about in there." she exhaled shakily.

Jamie's face softened slightly as he took a step away just so he could lean against the railing behind her and give her some space. "No, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or if I offended you-"

"You didn't." she quickly interrupted rubbing her arms a bit as if she were cold even if it was a nice summer whether that night. She took the courage to sidle up to him and lean against the railing beside him as she looked down at her heels. "I've just been stressed all night you know? You hit the nail on the head earlier when you mentioned I don't come out very often…I'm a recluse…" she laughed a bit to herself "And I may have been unintentionally rude back there. I'm sorry. I just shut down when I'm nervous."

Jamie let out a little laugh as he looked up at the stars above them. "You're alright love. I'm glad I didn't do anything to scare you though. Truth is I like you Diana. You're a sweet woman and Joseph won't shut up about you." he commented thoughtfully.

That comment made her flush a bit and she looked over at him in a bit of wonder. "But I'm nothing special. I'm little old me."

"That's what makes you so special love. See, I have met many fans and people out there who are fake because they want the money or the fame that knowing a celebrity gives them. But you, your nothing like that. You're sweet, smart, prettier than you give yourself credit for, and yeah perhaps shy but that's an endearing quality." he shrugged

Endearing quality huh? She wasn't expecting shyness to be such a good quality but Jamie seemed to like it for whatever reason and he thought she was pretty. She didn't want to believe it because she'd focused more on the beauty of others she often criticized the fact she never matched up for fame's sense of beauty but listening to Jamie talk about it actually gave her a slight hope that perhaps she wasn't half bad.

"I like the fact your shy actually." he went on drawing her from her thoughts just as much as the gentle bump to her shoulder which made her gaze up into his face. "As long as you're shy around me. It's cute." he sent her a wink. "Also, makes it that much more endearing when I can tease you about it." she laughed at his audacity and she playfully shoved at him but he grabbed her hands in his much stronger ones.

When she turned towards him there was a softness about his eyes that made her cheeks flush. "And that," one ringed hand came up to stroke her pink cheek; feeling the warmth of her blush under his fingertips. "That's very cute too. Gives you a glow about you, love that makes it very hard to resist."

Her lips parted as she ducked her head with renewed shyness "Stop it Jamie you're embarrassing me!" she laughed weakly. But his hand under her chin made her reddened face that had reached the tips of her ear right back into his line of sight.

"I'm trying to say I like you, shy girl." he confessed with a bit of a laugh. "Have since the day I caught you sitting there in your fuzzy duck onsie with your birthday sash on drinking some sort of cocktail in a glass with an umbrella in it."

Her eyes widened and she slapped a hand to her face as she turned her head away. "Omg I asked Joseph if he was alone when he face timed with me!" she groaned but there was laughter in her voice as she peeked up at him through her lashes.

"You were adorable."

"And drunk."

"But you were still adorable." he grinned back at her cheekily. "And if it makes you feel better I own a unicorn onsie that I would love to pair with your fuzzy duck for Halloween."

Diana cocked her head at him finding some courage to give him a cheeky smile back. "Holloween huh? Planning on something I should know about?"

"Flying you out in October for Holloween so we can spend it together getting fat on candy dressed to our finest, of course." they laughed together but it died down as the actor/musician grasped her hands in his and looked down at her with a softer smile. "That is if you'd be willing to give us a try?"

She pretended to think a moment before looking away feeling those damned butterflies in her belly again. "Well, I suppose I don't have anything to lose. Did you know that once you adopt an introvert it's for life?" she commented as if it was the most serious thing on the planet but that sly little smile that hinted at bashfulness made the blonde snort out a laugh and pull her against his tall frame

"I'm in the business of adoption." he teased before looking down at her with a raised brow which she just shook her head and hid her face against his chest as her arms wrapped around his waist and held on tightly for dear life; very much enjoying the warmth and scent of this damned but beautiful man.

And Diana realized that night that perhaps being shy wasn't such a bad thing after all and looks could be deceiving because for all you know. And there was also one more thing she realized. She owed Joseph Quinn one hell of a thank you dinner for begging her to come out here to New York.

#requested #requested oneshot #jamie bower oneshot #jamie campbell bower oneshot #jamie campbell bower

65 notes · View notes

one-sad-human · 3 years

Text

•Pinky Promises• Steven Adler

Pairing: Steven Adler x Reader, Axl Rose x Sibling! Reader

Requested? Yup! By an anon

Theme: Angst(?) to fluff

Warnings: Language, sexual references but nothing explicit

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Fic 1 of 2! Hope you enjoy! Also, the makeout near the end gets sorta hot and it was pretty fun to write? Like I’m considering exploring into writing smutter pieces. I didn’t want to originally because I thought I’d cringe all the way through and hate the result but I might try it out in the near future. Nothing too crazy but it’s something for me to think about.

You step off of the large bus, your combat boots hitting the ground as you adjust the bag slung over your shoulder. It's stuffed to the brim with whatever you threw in, you're surprised the zipper did burst.

You take a deep breath of the LA air. It's hot and humid and despite the thick air pollution, you can breath easier than you did in Indiana.

You grew up in Lafayette, Indiana with your older half-brother William. You were raised in the hellish house with your shared father, which you finally managed to escape.

William left right at eighteen. He tried taking you with him, but you didn't want him to be charged with kidnapping and have the cops on his ass. Now, two years and your father's stolen wallet later, you're finally in the city of dreams.

"Will!" You yell out, spotting your redheaded other half.

"Y/N!" He mocks, catching your figure in a crushing hug. He's taller than you, so you have to stand on your tippy toes during the embrace. "Thank God you're alright."

"I'm fine, I'm happy to finally see you again," you say, a huge grin on your face. "How's the band? Everything going well?"

"Well enough," he says with a shrug, grabbing your heavy bag and slinging it around his shoulder. "Come on, I'll introduce you to the guys. You already know Izzy of course, but the rest of them."

The walk to the 'hell house' as Will had called it is filled with catching up. He made sure to keep in contact with you, but the phone calls were always short. It felt nice to have a full length conversation in person with your brother again.

"Welcome home," Will says, leading you into the house. You grimace when you catch a whiff of stale beer and weed.

"You seriously live here? This place should be condemned," you say with disgust.

"And then where would we live?" The oh-so familiar voice of Will's best friend meets your ears. You whip around and fly into his arms.

"Jeffery! I missed you so much! You really should've tried calling, you ass!" You exclaim. Izzy rolls his eyes but smiles nonetheless, patting your back during the hug.

"Who's this?" Another man enters the living room— if that's what it should even be called. He's blonde, taller than you but shorter than the other two men in the room. He has kind eyes and the smile he has on his handsome face leaves you speechless.

"U-uh, hi. I'm Y/N," you say after a moment of shameless gawking. If he noticed, he doesn't mention it.

"Oh that's right! Axl talks a lot about you! I'm Steven," he says and bounds up to you, catching your hand in a shake. You don't question who the hell 'Axl' is, but you smile stupidly at him and bite your lip with a blush staining your face.

"No," Will says, glaring at the cute blonde you've taking an immediate liking to. "Absolutely not."

"William!" You squeak out, pinching his shoulder harsher. He yelps and swats your hand away. Will glares further at you as he ushers you up the creaky stairs to your room. "Nothing happened! And who the fuck is 'Axl'?"

"I saw how you were looking at him! I'm not naive, Y/N. You were giving him the 'fuck me' eyes! And me, everyone calls me Axl here." You give him a look. "Except you, of course. You can call me Will."

You don't give him another word as he leads you to your bedroom. He was the one who didn't have a roommate before, and he'd have to share with Slash now but he was determined to give you your privacy.

"This is the only room with a working lock, use it. Especially when your changing! Three horny men in a house with one you isn't a good combo." You make a face and shake your head, but you can't really tell if he's being overprotective or if his band mates really are pigs.

"Are you not including Izzy?"

"Please, he's the only smart one besides me. He knows I'll rip him a new one." You laugh and give Will another hug.

"I've really missed hanging out with you like this, and thank you for letting me stay here." He nods and rubs your back.

"No problem, we have each other's backs, always." You nod and release your bother from the hug. "One rule though: no hooking up with the guys. One time thing or not, you don't know them like I do, I won't let you get hurt. So don't even try anything with Steven!"

"Even if it's nothing sex?" Will levels you with a look that would make you sweat if you were anyone else. You sigh and roll your eyes. "Fine! I promise."

"Pinky promise?" He asks, holding out his pinky finger. You shake your head but comply anyway, hooking your pinky on his.

"Wow, bringing out the big guns, pinky promises," you tease.

"Bitch," he mumbles. You gasp sarcastically.

"Asshole!" You reply. William takes his leave with another slew of insults under his breath but none to be taken seriously and all with a smile. You shut your door after him and lay on your bed, content with how things are finally beginning to look up.

If you knew where you would be in just a few months of living with your brother and his band, you never would've agreed to the naive promise Will had forced on you. You think back to the day with a frown.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Steven asks, pecking your bare shoulder as he lays behind you on your bed. You both lay naked and damp with sweat, glowing from the moonlight streaming in the room.

"William," you say with a sigh.

"We just had sex and your thinking of your brother? Should I be worried about you?" Steven asks teasingly. You fight the smile growing on your face and lightly pinch the his arm tightly wrapped around you. He never fails to make you laugh.

"I just feel bad keeping this a secret from him." You turn around to be face to face with Steven. "It's been months of sneaking around. I'm always nervous we'll get caught together or I'll blurt it out to him."

"Then why don't we just tell him?"

"Do you want to die! Steven, honestly, do you have a death wish?"

"No, but—"

"Then we can't tell my brother we're together. He'll murder you, and then probably me one he finds out how long I've been lying to him," you say and move your head in the crook of Steven's neck.

"Then we can be together in the afterlife!" Steven folds his arms around you even tighter. "Seriously though, we can't lie to him forever. We've been together for six months already, surely he'll see how much we care about each other and not want to kill us."

"Yeah, maybe," you say halfheartedly and close your eyes, finally letting yourself fall asleep.

The next night, Guns has a gig at the Whiskey A-Go Go. The ritual goes like it has been, they play the gig, you wait for Will to get drunk, and you and Steven sneak out to the back of the club to make out and maybe get felt up a bit before returning like nothing happened.

It isn't different this time. Steven's hands leave your skin ablaze as he lets them wander down your sides and up your thighs. His lips don't leave yours, even as he squeezes your ass and you let out a moan. He grins on your mouth and presses his pelvis up to your stomach.

His mouth leaves yours to press feather light kisses to your cheek before trailing down your jaw and onto your neck, where he sucks nips at. You have to press a hand to your mouth to stay quiet.

"Don't leave marks," you remind him through batted breath.

"I won't," he reassures and silences you with a chaste kiss to your swollen lips before returning his attack on your neck.

You hear footsteps fast approaching, but as quickly as you hear them, Steven is ripped away from you. He's slammed into the brick wall next to you harshly and groans. You jump away and gasp.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" William asks, his voice lower than usual. His green eyes dark and downright scary.

"Will! Let him go, come on. Stop fucking around, you didn't have to slam him into a wall," you say, but your shaky voice falls on deaf ears as Will doesn't move. Your hands grasp at his arm and try to yank him away from Steven, but he's stronger and taller than you and doesn't budge, he just keeps his eyes focused on Steven.

"Nothing!" He squeaks out. Even in the dark, his kiss bruised lips and flushed red face is obvious.

"'Nothing?' That's why you were ten seconds away from fucking Y/N?" Will asks.

"William stop it! You're scaring me! Leave him alone!" You push him again and this time, he relents. Will paces and runs his hand through his red locks while you rush to make sure Steven is ok.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Steven mutters and presses a kiss to your brow to comfort you, sending you a smile when he pulls away. He keeps his hands on your arms and rubs circles with his thumbs.

"How long has this been going on?" Will asks, crossing his arms as he finally stops his pacing.

"Six months..." Steven says nervously. William scoffs and shakes his head. "But it isn't just fucking around! I love them, Ax. Really."

You smile bashfully, biting your lip to try and contain it. You knew you felt strongly for Steven and that he returned the feelings, but you haven't outright said you loved each other— until know of course.

Will stays silent for a few beats, staring contemplative at Steven. He finally sighs, bring a hand up to rub his temples like he has a building headache.

"Yeah? And you love him, Y/N?" He asks. You nod, reaching out to grab Steven's hand. Steven lets a grin creep on to his face. "Then I guess I can't stop you. But if you ever break their heart, I'll fucking gut you, Adler."

If Will makes Steven nervous, he doesn't show it. He gives him a salute with his puppy dog like smile before sticking out his pinky.

"I promise I'll never hurt Y/N purposely, ever." Will rolls his eyes, the irony makes him nearly groan aloud. He sucks it up anyway when he sees your hopeful expression, hooking his pinky onto Steven's.

"Don't make me regret this, Steven," Will grumbles before leaving and walking back into the crowded club. Steven lets out an exhilarated laugh and kisses you, hard.

"Told you he wouldn't kill me!" Steven exclaims, making you laugh out of surprise.

"And we don't have to sneak around anymore!" Steven kisses you again, and again and again until you're breathless.

"I'm so in love with you," he mumbles between his attack on your lips. You smile, tangling your hands in his aqua-net filled hair.

"As I am with you."

#classic rock imagine #guns n’ roses #guns n’ roses x reader #guns n’ roses imagine #80s #steven adler fluff #steven adler imagine #steven adler x reader #steven adler #axl rose x reader #axl rose imagine #axl rose fanfic #axl rose

237 notes · View notes

thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

Note

Which one of the Volturi guards is more likely to want to leave one day? And if one of them would say they are leaving the coven how would Aro take it? Would he let them leave or would he try to retain them?

A post on Jane and Alec leaving. A post on Heidi ever leaving. A post on a vital coven member leaving. And the time Aro kicked out Eleazar politely.

The obvious answer is Marcus and Didyme tried to leave, Aro was desperate enough not to see this happen that he killed his sister, the less powerful of the two.

But right, your questions

Which Guard is Most Likely to Want to Leave?

Honestly? They have a pretty sweet gig. They have regular, stable, meals that will not get them executed by the Volturi (they are the Volturi), they have material wealth unheard of to most vampires, and they have a purpose in their immortal existence.

This last is huge.

Most vampires are essentially immortal raccoons. They don't really do anything, have no reason to exist in this world, no grand purpose, and they just move from city to city searching for victims. Finding their next meal and their love lives are basically all they've got.

In the Volturi, you have a very clear role, a reason why you are here that's a pretty damn good one all things considered.

Why would they want to leave?

They'd be leaving behind everything to do... what? For a mate? Given how few are mated, it seems most have chosen work over any potential romances. To have the joy of being a nomad? What joy? Your hair goes to hell, you have no clothes, and you have no books. Because the Volturi are so purely evil they can't stand it? Most of these guys have been around a while, if they felt that way, then Chelsea probably couldn't keep them here for this long.

Added to that, there is Chelsea, who while not omnipotent does make being with the Volturi preferable to not being with the Volturi.

So if I had to pick anyone? I guess I'd say Afton. Nobody likes him (except Chelsea) and he's useless. The guy doesn't fit in, everyone's just dying around him, and there may come a day when he says "you know what, I don't have to put up with this. I'll take myself and my super awesome invisibility power elsewhere."

Chelsea, of course, would make him stay. Or someone else would make him stay under threat of death so that Chelsea doesn't leave. BECAUSE THEY NEED CHELSEA.

Otherwise, everyone else we meet has clear reasons for their loyalties and the others we know of are such name out of a hat characters that I can't even take a guess.

How Would Aro Take It and Would He Let Them Leave?

Depends who.

Eleazar? Cheerio, good mate, enjoy the outside world! Is what Aro said to him. Afton? "But Chelsea's staying, right?" would be the first words out of Aro's mouth. Someone important.

I imagine they'd have a long talk about how the Volturi can improve in such a way that they won't feel the need to leave. Whatever's going wrong, whatever isn't working, they can work this out and fix this.

Jane and Alec leaving would be a complete disaster, as would Chelsea, the Volturi would still function but take a very heavy hit. Aro would make some very large changes to ensure that doesn't happen.

There are others who are useful, and I imagine Aro would try to hold onto them, but if Heidi really wants to go then that's up to her. She's nice to have around, Aro enjoys her tourism schemes, but they got by without her once and they can do so again.

The extreme action he took with Marcus seems unlikely because a) Volterra is the unquestioned vampire world power b) the plan backfired in that Marcus became a zombie and c) there has to exist similar leverage for Aro to be able to exploit. In that case, by murdering Didyme, he could ensure Marcus didn't leave. If one guard member is leaving then... there's not much he can do (I suppose if it's for an outside mate, he could assassinate the mate or else convince them to stay in Volterra, but that's not really the point here).

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #the volturi #aro #marcus #didyme #jane #alec #chelsea #afton #heidi #eleazar #meta #headcanon #opinion #vampires-and-witches

85 notes · View notes

karlajoyner · 4 years

Text

Edge of Great (Luke Patterson x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys so this is my first imagine on tumblr. I know it’s pretty long but my fingers just kept typing.🙃 Definitely let me know if I should make shorter ones or longer ones or even a series! Also let me know if you guys have any requests or plots that I could write and for who! Finally finally let me know if you like it in a first reader POV or if i should try a third person POV! Oh and if I should post them in a book on wattpad or keep the content strictly on tumblr!!!😁 (Ps. I’ll most likely be adding a song to every chapter whether it goes with the chapter or not!) Check out my last post for more information on my writing.

Warnings: None

————

I sat in the studio along with my bandmates tuning my guitar. We were currently waiting on Julie to return from school so we could begin to practice for tonight. Her dad got us a gig playing for a couple of her friends to start a following. Which made a lot of sense when Julie explained it to me. Right after Luke sent me into a frenzie of confusion.

"Hey y/n/n you think you could help me with these lyrics for tonight?" Luke called from the couch. I stood up from my comfortable spot on the chair under the loft and flashed myself onto the spot right next to him.

"Sure Lukey" I said taking his writing journal in my own hands and sitting back to scan over the words.

Y/n- I believe, I believe that we're just one dream

I mumbled hearing Luke start to strum on his six string the melody of the song.

Away from who were mean to be that were standing on the edge of

Y/n, L- Something big something crazy our best days are yet unknown that this moment is ours to own

He joined in.

Y/n- Cause we're standing on the edge of great

L- (On the edge of great)

Y/n- Great

L- (On the edge of great)

Y/n- Great

L- (On the edge of great)

Y/n- Cause we're standing on the edge of

We sang to each other back and forth with smiles plastered on our faces.

Y/n, L- Shout shout. C'mon and let it out, out. C'mon and let it out, out. Don't gotta hide it. Let your colors blind their eyes. Be who you are no compromise. Just shout, shout. C'mon and let it out

We paused running out of lyrics. My mind racing searching for the next line.

Y/n- What doesn't kill you makes you feel alive

I sang softly as he leaned in closer with a smirk plastered on his face.

Y/n, L- Ooh-oh. I believe, I believe that we're just one dream. Away from who we're meant to be. That we're standing on the edge of great

We finished out of breath. My smile grew as Alex and Reggie began to clap.

"That was great"

"Yeah we’re gonna rock Julie's garage tonight" Reggie said making it sound less cool than it actually was.

"Definitely" Luke said standing up.

"Thanks for the help boss" He said sending me a smile.

"Anytime" I grinned before turning around to go take my previous seat to finish tuning my guitar.

"I'm gonna go find Julie and let her know we've got the song ready for tonight thanks to our amazing rhythm guitarist"

"Sounds like a plan" Alex said.

"Don't forget to mention how beautiful I am as well" I teased earning a smirk from Luke.

"I never do baby" He winked at me before disappearing. A small laugh escaped my lips before going back to my guitar.

"So" Alex said catching my attention.

"So?" I repeated looking up at the drummer boy.

"So you and Luke?"

"Me and Luke what?"

"You and Luke are like in love each other"

"We are not. Well I'm not. Can't say the same about pretty boy" I said teasingly.

"Yeah sure you're not. Reggie back me up here. Please tell your best friend that she's totally in love with Luke"

"You're totally in love Luke"

"I am not. Reggie your supposed to have my back"

"And I will. Once you admit you have a thing for Luke" He said smirking at me. I glared at the two boys in front of me who weren't as oblivious as I had thought they were.

"Okay so I have a thing for Luke. So what?"

"So you should tell him"

"Why on earth would I do that?"

"So he can admit he's in love with you too"

"And why would he do that when he's clearly not"

"Seriously? Didn't you see the way he was looking at you when you were singing? It looked like Reggie when he sees pizza"

"Pizza?" Reggie perked up excitedly. "There no pizza" Alex said a frown appearing on the bassist face.

"Just because looks at me a certain way does not mean he loves me"

"Really because last time I checked constantly touching each other means you like each other, constantly flirting means you like each other, and when was the last time you wore one of your own shirts" Alex said pointing at my outfit. I sunk back into my seat. He was right about everything down to one of the many shirts Luke had let me have.

"Come on y/n just admit it after we died something more changed with you two. We all see it. Even Reggie sees it and that's saying something"

"Yeah. So it's not like he's ever gonna say anything. So why should I put myself out there to possibly get rejected and heartbroken by my best friend? I mean how do we even know for sure if he's in love with me. Or even likes me for that matter?"

"We don't. Yet" Alex said smirking.

"Oh that's his thinking face. I haven't seen that since 94" Reggie said backing up slightly.

"I think we're in trouble"

It had been a couple hours after Julie had gotten out of school. Yet her or Luke were nowhere to be found. I groaned walking out of the bathroom in the back of the studio.

"Seriously Alex. This is your great idea"

"No my great idea is to have you and Reggie flirt like there's no tomorrow. This is just small details" He said fixing the fit of the flannel on my body. It was Reggie's lucky flannel that took a lot of convincing to get off his body.

"Okay but why'd I have to change my shirt" I said looking down at my own crop top that I hadn't worn in a very long time.

"Because it was Luke's. We need him to think that you don't need his clothes anymore"

"Why did I let you drag me into this?"

"Because deep down you want him to say something about it don't you?"

"Well yeah but-"

"Hey guys!" A familiar voice popped into the garage.

"Luke" I spoke pushing Alex away from me.

"Hey man what happened to practice?" Alex asked casually.

"Julie had some stuff to do after school so I went along. But she's on her way so we should get a few runs in-" His words slowly came to a halt sending me a strange look.

"Isn't that Reggies lucky flannel?"

"Uh yeah. He let me barrow it. For good luck. Here's your shirt back by the way. I don't think I'll need it anymore" I said trying to hand him back the shirt I was wearing previously.

"You know you don't have to give it back. It's yours" His lips simpered.

"I know but Reggie said if I needed to I could just barrow his"

"Oh" was all Luke before taking the shirt out of my hands.

Suddenly the garage door opened and in walked Julie.

"Hey guys" She smiled.

"Ready for tonight?"

"Definitely"

"Flynn's coming over before to help me get ready. Girl time?" Julie asked looking at me.

"I'll be there" I smiled.

"So are we ready to rehearse?"

"Where's Reggie?"

"He went out said he would be back in a bit"

As if on cue the other ghost popped in with a smile on his face.

"Luke" He said his eyes going wide.

"Your back"

"Yeah I am. Who are the flowers for?" Luke asked eyeing the bouquet of roses in his hand.

"They’re for y/n. You know she deserves the best" Reggie said nervously sticking his hand out for me.

"Thanks Reggie" I smiled lightly.

"She also deserves her favorite flowers. Sunflowers in case you were wondering"

"Luke" I scolded him taking the bouquet.

"I think it's a sweet gesture Reggie. Seriously thank you"

"Your welcome" He smiled pulling me into a light hug.

"I think we should rehearse before it gets any later" Alex suggested trying to ease the now very notable tension in the room.

"Sounds good" Julie said awkwardly stepping past Reggie and Luke who were standing a few feet apart. I looked at Alex who gave me a small nod.

"Uh Reggie can you come here for a sec I need your help" I said pulling him away to my guitar stand. I placed strap around my body waiting for the brunette to turn his attention to me.

"Uh sure. Cutie?" He spoke in a questionable tone before looking down at me.

"You need his help with guitar?" Luke asked clearly confused.

"Well yeah"

"But I always help you with guitar" "He offered earlier if I needed help to come to him"

"Yeah. I did that" Reggie said trying to act tough.

"Whatever" Luke scoffed.

I watched as he swung his guitar around his shoulder aggressively. I glanced at Julie who was sending me a confused look so I quickly shrugged my shoulder not knowing what else to do.

It was mere minutes before we were heading out to perform. The tension in the air was now overpowered by excitement.

"I'm so nervous" I said bouncing my leg up and down anxiously.

Suddenly I felt a hand land on it stopping my movements. I looked up to see Luke smiling down at me.

"Don't be nervous your gonna do amazing out there"

"Thanks" I smiled back.

"Yeah. Your always amazing. Did I mention you look beautiful tonight? Wearing my flannel. My lucky flannel" Reggie said with a pestering smile as he swung an arm around my shoulder.

"We get it. It's your flannel" Luke interrupted immediately removing his hand from my leg. I looked at Alex who was stifling a laugh.

"Uh thanks Reg. You look good too"

"Oh I know. And I'm gonna look better singing up there with you. It'll be like old times. You and me. And a microphone"

"You and me. And a microphone" Luke mimicked him. I almost laughed only to be startled by someone walking in.

"Hey guys are you ready?"

"Ready as we'll ever be" I spoke. Julie simply nodded her head walking out.

I stood up pacing around as I heard Julie begin the opening notes on the piano outside.

"Hey your gonna do great out there" Luke said stopping me from walking anymore.

"Thanks. You are too. You and Julie have great chemistry"

"Well yeah. But I think we have great chemistry too" He said taking my hands in his.

I finally looked into his eyes see him staring into mine in. A small smile forming on my face.

"Guys!" Alex called knocking us out of our trance. I panicked immediately flashing outside with Luke. Landing beside Reggie with my guitar at hand. Luke only a few feet away in his own place.

J- I believe

I believe that we're just one dream

Away from who we're meant to be

That we're standing on the edge of

Y/n- Something big, something crazy

Our best days are yet unknown

That this moment is ours to own

I joined in singing into Reggies microphone beaming with excitement. I scanned the crowd seeing smiles on people faces. This is all we ever wanted.

J- Cause we're standing on the edge of great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- Great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- Great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- 'Cause we're standing on the edge of great

L- We all make mistakes

But they're just stepping stones

To take us where we wanna go

It's never straight, no

Luke sang sending me a wink before continuing to sing with Julie.

L,J- Sometimes we gotta lean

Lean on someone else

To get a little help

I giggled as Reggie leaned on me. Back to back. Both of us playing our guitars to the same beat.

J- Until we find our way

I believe

I believe that we're just one dream

Away from who we're meant to be

That we're standing on the edge of

Y/n- Something big, something crazy

Our best days are yet unknown

That this moment is ours to own

J- Cause we're standing on the edge of great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- Great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- Great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- 'Cause we're standing on the edge of...

J- Shout, shout

C'mon and let it out, out

Don't gotta hide it

Let your colors blind their eyes

Be who you are no compromise

My heart rate picked up. The scene from earlier replaying in my head as Julie sang the next lines. Taking a chance I looked in Luke's direction to see him already looking at me with a grin on his face. I smirked walking over to the piano.

J- And Just shout, shout

C'mon and let it out, out

J, Y/n- What doesn't kill you makes you feel alive

Ooh-oh

J- I believe

Julie sang as Luke and I let off a similar guitar riff making me laugh.

I believe that we're just one dream

Away from who we're meant to be

That we're standing on the edge of great

Making my way over to Luke I let out a giggle as I pulled his beanie down slightly messing up his look. Before making my over back to Reggie. I looked back at the brunette to see him grinning from ear to ear.

All- Something big, something crazy

Our best days are yet unknown

That this moment is ours to own

Cause we're standing on the edge of great

(On the edge of great)

J- On the edge of great

All- (Great, on the edge of great) On the edge

All- (Great, on the edge of great)

J- 'Cause we're standing on the edge of...

L- Running from the past

Y/n- Tripping on the now

J- What is lost can be found

It's obvious

Luke, Julie, and I finished singing towards the audience.

Making eye contact with a few kids before flashing out myself back into the garage where Alex and Reggie were already waiting. Adrenaline coursing through our veins as another presence poofed into the room.

"That was amazing!" Luke shouted excitedly.

"I can't believe we just did that. Did you see how pumped they were?" I asked falling back onto the couch besides Reggie.

"Yeah. They loved us!" "Remind me to thank Julie for playing our CD later"

"Tonight it's her garage tomorrow it's- it's clubs, dances, and worldwide tours" Luke said eagerly. Taking the free spot to my left.

"God I wish we could feel like this all the time" I said leaning into Luke.

"Me too y/n/n" He said placing an arm around me. A sudden fake cough erupting from Alex's lips. I looked over to see him staring at me with a look.

"Oh uh- Reggie you were great out there" I complimented the boy sitting up.

"Thanks. You uh- you looked hot" He tried to sound cool but failed miserably.

"You think?"

"Oh yeah- I mean the sweat on your forehead and like the heat and-"

"What are you going on about?" Luke asked confusion plastering itself on his face.

"I think what he means is y/n is attractive. Right Reggie?" Alex asked.

"No, no don't answer for him. Reggie be straight with me do you like y/n or not?" Luke asked standing up.

"Why does it matter if I do or don't?" Reggie questioned standing up as well.

"Because you out of everyone know that I like her so why are you letting her wear your clothes, buying her flowers, and calling her hot. I thought I made it clear she was off limits" Luke said my mouth widening in shock.

"I'm off limits?" I asked looking at him.

"How many people did you make it clear to that I was off limits?" I asked not really wanting an answer I was expecting.

"A few"

"A few? Micheal Brookes?" I asked remembering a guy I began to talk to at the beginning of our senior year who randomly stopped talking to me one day. I watched as his head dipped in a short nod.

"Jacob Miller?" I continued watching his nod once again.

"Grant Dean?" Nod.

"Nick Harper?" Nod.

"Derek Johnson?" Nod.

"Seriously Luke? Your the reason I never had a boyfriend my senior year. To make it worse I died a virgin. You asshole" I shouted standing up. I was fuming at this point. He had no right. And he still did it. My head whipped towards the garage door heading it creak open.

"Hey guys" Julie and Flynn smiled walking it.

"You guys did great out there" Flynn said happily. Julie immediately noticing the tension in the room and the frown upon my lips.

"Are you okay y/n?"

"I don't know why don't you ask Luke?" I spoke before flashing out.

I landed in the only place I could think of. A single tear escaped my eye as I sat on the marquee of the Orpheum. Our dream. His dream. I stared out onto the lit up street of Sunset Boulevard. If he didn't want me seeing anyone he could've said something. For the longest time I wondered why guys were such assholes. It wasn't them. It was Luke. It was always Luke.

"I know your mad" I heard his voice speak from behind me.

"I think I'm beyond mad Luke. How could you?" I asked standing up and turning towards him.

"I came crying to you all those times wondering why guys didn't want me. And-and you made me think that it was all me when it was really you. Telling them to back off. Why? Why would you do this to me?"

"Because-" He was at a loss for words. Looking like a kicked puppy.

"I-I wanted you" He finally spoke up.

"You what?"

"I wanted you" He spoke more confidently.

"I wanted you to myself. I- I every time you came and told me you were talking to someone new it hurt because I know it should've been me who asked you out. Who got the courage to just tell you that I-" He went silent the anger in me evaporating in a matter of seconds.

"That you what?" I asked quietly.

"That I love you. I know I'm late but I can't hold it in anymore. After seeing you and Reggie today I got jealous just like I used to back in high school. I know this'll probably ruin our friendship but I don't want to lose you so I really need you to say something right now before I go insane not hearing your beautiful voice" He finished off finally looking at me. The look in his eyes was as hurt. And I wanted to be mad. But I couldn't be. Not when he just admitted what I had been wanting to hear for so long.

"Your 25 years late. But I think we have an eternity to make up for that" I said his eyebrows flying up in surprise.

"Really?"

"You really think I wanted to wear my own shirt today Patterson? Alex told me that if I kept wearing your clothes I'd only fall deeper in love you" I spoke a smile reaching both our face.

He quickly made his way towards me. Leaning forward until his lips attached themselves onto mine. I giggled as he lifted me in his arms holding me close. Our lips molding perfectly like they were made for each other.

"This isn't real" He whispered putting me down.

"Your mine. God your mine" He mumbled pressing open mouth kisses down my neck before connecting his lips back to mine.

"It's definitely real Lukey"

"I love it when you call me that" He mumbled into my lips.

"Don't get all soft on me now Patterson" I laughed pulling away.

"I'm sorry for what I did before I really am. For making you upset and I'm gonna spend an eternity making it up to you"

"It's okay Luke. It's in the past now. I just would've preferred if you would've not scared away every guy that tried to talk to me"

"I promise I'll never hurt you like that again" He said holding me close by the waist. As I began to suck on his neck to begin leaving a hickey.

"And I promise you won't be a virgin for much longer" He whispered reattaching our lips again.

#Spotify #Luke Patterson #julie and the phantoms #Owen Joyner #Jeremy shada #Charlie Gillespie #Madison Reyes #Alex JATP #Reggie JATP #Luke JATP #sunset curve

225 notes · View notes

magalidragon · 4 years

Text

Silent Shadows | Chapter 14: the journey | a teaser

"How are things with you and Arsehole?"

That was pretty not at all subtle. She rolled her eyes. "Arsehole?"

Arya shrugged. "He's been a total toolbox the last few days, I wanted your take on why." She wagged her tongue and eyebrows. "You not putting out or something?"

"Arya!"

"What? Maybe he just needs to get laid."

She rolled her eyes, her turn now to be irritated. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the exam table, wrestling with telling Arya the full truth. It wasn't like she didn't know. By now, six months after she'd gone to Essos for her surgery, things had shifted, enough so that the ones closest to her and Jon were fully aware of them.

It had gone around town rather quickly, the vet moving in with the deaf wolf owner. It took a few months, her possessions slowly migrating from the apartment above the office to Jon's house-- their house-- until one morning Jon just asked her flat out if she wanted to move in. He had been very Jon about it all.

He was brushing his teeth, while she washed her face, side-by-side sinks, very domestic, and after he spit out the toothpaste, met her gaze in the mirror and signed: "Do you live here now? If not, you should." Then he turned around and walked out.

Dany raked her fingers through her hair, letting it fall out of the messy braid she'd tugged it into that morning, in a rush to get out and to the clinic in time for her first appointment. The distance between the house and the clinic had been the only thing she didn't much care for when it came to moving in with Jon. She began to rebraid her hair, quietly speaking to Arya. "It's jus tbeen hard, the last few months."

"I know," Arya murmured.

They were referring to Ghost's attack, the terrifying moment when they thought that all would be lost. She had been more scared than any moment in her life combined, focusing on every ounce of training in her bones, healing the animal that gave her loved one his voice. Without him, Jon could not speak, and with everything else in their life, losing Ghost was not an option.

Thank the gods that had not happened, he was recovering well, still weak and slow, but healing. So was Jon, his heart having been ripped from his body at the sight of his beloved companion bleeding in the snow, and lying in the operating room while she stitched him together. They had been through too much to let it get to them, but it had been exhausting.

Six months of constant upheaval, they were still there. She figured Jon was allowed a few days to be an arsehole, even if it pissed off Arya. "I told him I didn't want to do another round yet," she mumbled, digging her toe into a groove in the tile. It was aged, desperately needing replacing, just another thing on her 'to do' list.

Coat rustling, Arya moved back from the window, and went over to stand next to her, lightly touching her hand. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"It is what it is, you know?" The surgery had been successful, Mel said, removing scar tissue and other adhesions, and so with the first round they hoped it would take, but she was prepared for the worst. It hadn't, which had been devastating for them both.

She blamed herself for getting Jon's hopes up too. He was all in, from the moment he'd appeared in that hospital hallway to the way he'd 'artfully' proposed he'd be her donor. They didn't speak much about another round, until two months later, and that hadn't worked. This time she was saving up for another go, knowing Jon could afford it but not wanting his trust fund to be depleted because her stupid body couldn't do the one thing that it should do as a female.

Arya quirked her lip. "It just isn't time. Ghost's attack, moving in together...perhaps it's for the best right now."

"Yeah, I tell myself that too." They didn't bother to prevent it, didn't stop, but she was growing weary of 'scheduling' their lovemaking to when it was most conducive to pregnancy. She chewed her bottom lip, thinking of the box that was in her bag, waiting for when she went home, just in case. She was late. Maybe this time...

She didn't want to tell Arya just yet. She didn't even want to tell Jon. Sometimes she didn't even want to tell herself. It was a constant struggle. She chewed on her bottom lip a moment and then forced a smile, when Arya gave her a furrowed frown. "I'm fine," she lied.

"Uh-huh."

Of course Arya would not believe her. She was so protective. It was a blessing and a curse. She patted her hand, reassuring. "Seriously. Things will be fine. We're also getting used to things."

"Like what? Can I help? Gendry moving in with me was the weirdest thing ever. I thought I knew all his strange habits but then..." Ayra shuddered. "Men."

Dany laughed. She shrugged and knelt down to pet Lady, needing something to do with her hands. "Oh just all kinds of things. I had to get a sleep mask for his light alarm. Learning how to approach him so I don't scare him. Sometimes the silence can be a lot. I don't watch much TV but it's odd."

"He doesn't care about that, you know."

"I know, but I do." There were also the flashing lights on the microwave, the oven, and some other assistive devices she hadn't realized were even there until she moved in. Strobe lights in place of smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. Red blinking light over the door if someone was there, motion detected. There was also a vibrating device in the bed, she'd discovered, that could be hooked up to alarms to wake him, but he didn't use it.

"Freaks me out sometimes," he signed, when she asked why not. He smiled lecherously. "But we can find an alternative use for it."

Jon, always the resourceful one.

She clipped Lady's leash to her harness, standing and passing it over to Arya. "Then there's just the weird habits. You're right, men are weird."

"Jon has to be the weirdest."

"I don't know about that, but he does have some quirks." He hated laundry, waited way too long to do it, and it drove her insane. There was also the way he sometimes 'pretended' not to hear when she knew damn well he'd seen her signing, feigning surprise when she asked why he wasn't 'listening.' Usually when it was related to chores. Otherwise they had settled into a routine.

Arya walked out of the room with her, allowing Lady to lead the way to the door. "Well if you ever need a drink, let me know. Tormund misses you."

"I know, I have to stop by and see him."

"Rickon also says he wrote a song about you, he wants to send it to you, but needs your email." Arya rolled her eyes. "I shudder to think what he says in it."

Dany laughed. She liked Rickon and it seemed Rhaegar did as well. He had connections to the music industry in Essos and was looking into getting RIckon's band a few gigs. "I'll let Rhae know."

"Your hottie brother is so weird."

"Ew! He is not a hottie!"

Arya shrugged. "Sansa has a crush on him, don't tell her I told you that."

Dany pretended to gag, opening the door for Arya and Lady. She gestured for her to leave, with a flourish. "And with that, I bid you farewell. I also need to burn out my eyes, because my brother is not hot." Annoying and melancholy, yes. Hot? No way.

"Whatever. I think he's hot."

"Arya!" She made a face, sticking out her tongue. "Well, then let me tell you that your cousin is super hot and kept me up all night long last night with his..."

"Ew! Shut up!" Arya slapped her hands over her ears, closing her eyes tight. "La, la, la, la!"

She smirked. "Two can play that game."

"Goodbye bitch."

"Later." She made another face and waved, Lady hopping off excitedly towards the truck. She leaned against the door frame a moment longer, watching Arya drive away. It was nice to have someone close. Someone to joke with when things got tough. Her friendship with Arya had been a constant for her to rely on during her time in the North, even during those hard times with Jon. Missandei was so far away. Even if Dany was still trying to convince her to move there, her best friend hadn't budged, citing the cold was too much for her.

After a few minutes, she closed the door and flicked the sign, closing up for the Friday afternoon. Gilly had already left, to go deal with some sort of school drama involving her sons. Dany finished up and did some paperwork, trying to distract herself from what lay ahead at home

#jonerys #jonerys au #my fics #my moodboards #jonerys fanfic #silent shadows #coming soon #a ‘look at me’ post as someone once called these

65 notes · View notes

marvelous-writer · 3 years

Text

i'll be there when you feel lost and alone

Summary: Peter gets seriously hurt on patrol when he’s all alone, mourning the loss of Tony.

Word Count: 6,823

Genre: whump, hurt/comfort, fluff

Link to read on ao3:

A/N: Part 2 of Whumptober 2021 @whumptober2021

Gunshots echo through the chilly midnight air as Peter runs along the side of the wet brick wall in the alley, dodging the bullets. He pushes off the wall and performs a backflip with practiced ease, aiming at one of the armed muggers and shoots an impact web at him, sending him flying backwards, successfully webbing him against the wall. There are at least ten or so men Peter’s trying to fight off all at once and it’s getting a little tiring, if he’s being honest.

“Nice shot, Peter.” Karen says as Peter lands in a low crouch.

“Thanks, Karen!” Peter shoots back as he jumps back up again, dodging a knife one of the muggers swipes at him.

“Who’s Karen?” One of the muggers calls out in confusion.

“The hell I should know just get him or the boss won’t be happy!” Another mugger yells back.

The bad guys come at him all at once and one of them jumps at Peter with an aimed fist, his hand covered in thick gold rings, which Peter easily dodges. “ You’re coming at me like that? Really, dude? How rude! Wait your turn!” Petre scolds jokingly as he ducks, dodging the next punch the guy throws his way, only for Peter to swipe his legs out from under him. “Petty thieves just don’t have any manners these days.” Peter adds as he webs the guy up to the ground.

Before Peter can get a second to catch his breath, two more men are on him, one armed with a crowbar and the other with a handgun. Peter resists the urge to groan. They’ve been at this for twenty-five minutes now since Peter jumped in and crashed whatever illegal dealing that was going on, and these guys haven’t let up. With each goon he takes down, it feels like two more take their place.

And to make matters worse, Peter is starting to feel pretty dizzy right now with how exhausted and hungry he is. That’s what happens when he doesn’t get more than eight hours of sleep in a week and barely eating, especially with his enhanced metabolism. But he’s trying to ignore the dizziness and the gnawing in his stomach for now.

Fight bad guys now, eat and pass out later.

Peter’s spider-sense tingles in warning at the back of his head as the goon with the crowbar comes at him swinging, while another guy appears out of nowhere and manages to land a hard punch to Peter’s jaw, causing him to stumble. Peter slams into the alley wall, barely managing to duck as the crowbar slams against the wall where his face just was.

“Whoah, man! Watch where you swing that thing!” Peter says as he shoots a web at the crowbar and yanks it away from the guy, causing him to lose his balance. Peter shoots a web at his face, blinding him, and swipes his legs out from underneath him, webbing him to the ground next to the other goons.

Another fist meets Peter’s face, causing him to stumble, but before he can react, something hard slams against the side of his head.

A sharp pain explodes through Peter’s head and down his neck as his vision whites out. He feels himself fall against the brick wall behind him, desperately trying to get his bearings back before another one of these guys gets the upper hand. Peter blinks rapidly behind his mask to clear his vision, only to catch a glimpse of the goon with the handgun aiming it at him as the guy that picked up the crowbar comes at him again.

Multiple gunshots fill the air once again, and one might miss them against the loud rumble of thunder, against the steady rainfall.

Pain explodes in Peter’s left leg near his thigh and in his right shoulder. He squeezes his eyes shut, barely registering himself falling against the wall from the force of the bullets hitting him, crumbling to the alley floor, feeling his head collide against the wall on his way down.

“Dude—you shot him! You shot Spider-Man!” Crowbar dude exclaims in surprise.

“Who cares! Let’s just get out of here before he gets back up!” The gunman yells over his shoulder as the two of them start to run towards the alleyway entrance.

Peter groans weakly in defeat on the cold, wet ground.

“Peter it appears that you have been shot several times and you sustained a bad blow to your head. Medical attention is highly advised.” Karen informs him in a worried tone.

He manages to turn his head in the small puddle he landed in, seeing that the muggers, except for the ones webbed up, got away.

“C-Crap…” Peter mumbles to himself, guilt gnawing away at him for letting them escape. Now they were free to continue terrorizing other people, all thanks to him.

Peter grits his teeth as he squeezes his eyes shut against the agonizing pain coursing through his entire body, feeling a few warm tears slide down his cheeks beneath his mask. This is so not how he thought this night was going to go, yet here he is, beaten up and shot, laying in a filthy alley in the pouring rain, soaked to the bone.

He just needs a minute… and then he’ll get up.

Peter lays there for a few moments, until he hears sirens in the distance, feeling the rain soaking through his suit.

“Local law enforcement is incoming. ETA one minute. Peter, you need to get up and seek medical attention.”

Peter groans against the ground as he slowly blinks his eyes open, finding everything to be a bit blurry. “O-Okay…” he whispers as he slowly starts to sit up, letting out a choked gasp when the movement sends white, hot pain through his already pounding head.

When he’s able to sit up, Peter leans against the brick wall for a second, gasping in pain as he clutches his shoulder, feeling a warmness dribbling between his gloved fingers. He wants more than anything to just stop moving and close his eyes but he knows that he can’t. The police have been wanting to arrest him for years now since he started this gig. He can’t be seen at the scene of a crime… or a gang take-down. Whatever.

Peter grits his teeth as he braces his good hand against the ground and slowly starts to stand up, fighting through the pain. When he’s finally standing, he has to lean against the wall for support.

“Peter the police are almost here. You need to leave now.” Karen tells him in a serious tone.

Peter looks up and he can see the flashing blue and red lights from here. He doesn’t have much time to escape—a few seconds at most. He braces a hand against the side of the building with his bad arm, hissing through gritted teeth at the pain the movement brings as he starts to slowly climb up the side of the building, pausing a few times as pain tears through his injured shoulder and leg.

When he finally reaches the top, Peter grips the building ledge and pulls himself up with a pained groan. He rolls over the ledge and lands on the gravel-covered roof on his back, facing the dark cloudy sky above. Raindrops land on the lenses of his mask as he lays there in agony, his soaking wet suit sticking to him uncomfortably.

But Peter doesn’t care.

He messed up big time tonight.

He was sloppy and he let the muggers get the upper hand on him.

This is all because he can’t get a handle on his life. He can’t sleep anymore from either the nightmares or his worsening insomnia. He just… can’t… move on.

Not without Tony.

Peter closes his eyes at the thought of him. It’s been four months now since Tony’s funeral… four months since he’s been… gone. It’s been the worst four months of Peter’s entire life.

“Peter, your vitals are dropping dangerously low. Per the tattletale protocol, I’m required to call an emergency contact.”

“There’s no one you can call, Karen. Tony’s...” He closes his eyes as he breathes a sigh out through his nose. “Tony’s dead.”

Saying out loud only makes it worse—more real.

Karen remains silent as Peter lays there, blinking up at the sky. For a moment, Peter lets himself pretend that Tony is still alive. It’s sick and unfair to himself, but he doesn’t care. He waits for a few moments, for that phone call to come in, to hear Tony’s worried voice on the other end as he chews Peter out for being so reckless and getting himself hurt. Tony always calls him because he has every alert and protocol known to mankind set for these kinds of situations Peter gets himself into.

He also waits to hear the familiar sound of the Iron Man suit, of Tony, swooping in to save him from bleeding out on this rooftop.

But neither come.

The only thing Peter hears is the rain pelting down and his heavy breathing.

Tony’s not coming… and he’s never going to ever again.

A choked sob escapes from Peter’s quivering lips as the retaliation sinks in. He starts to cry there on the roof, letting his grief swallow him up. It feels like forever until his crying subsides to only gasping sobs. Crying only made him even more exhausted, but Peter can’t bring himself to care right now. He just feels weirdly numb and lightheaded.

“K’ren?” Peter slurs out, his tongue feeling too thick in his mouth to form words.

“Yes, Peter?” She responds in a soft voice.

“T’ny’s… gone… right?” He asks. He’s not sure why, but maybe hearing someone else say it will make him believe it, even if it’s his suit’s AI.

Karen is silent for a few seconds. “Yes… I’m sorry, Peter.” She finally answers, sympathy in her voice as she pauses again. “Is there someone you would like me to call for you? Your vitals are continuing to drop and I don’t believe you’re able to make it home in your condition.”

“M’ all good, K,” Peter mumbles, blinking slowly up at the sky as a wave of tiredness washes over him. “Jus’ gonna… lie here… for a bit an’ take a nap.” He slurs out.

“Peter, you need to stay awake.” Karen tells him in a serious voice.

“Jus’ five minutes…” Peter slurs out as black dots dance around in his vision.

“Peter-” Karen’s concerned voice fades away as he lets his heavy eyelids slip shut when his vision completely blacks out, feeling darkness invade his mind, pulling him further and further down.

He doesn’t even feel the raindrops falling on him anymore.

He doesn’t feel cold either.

“Calling Happy Hogan.” Is the last thing Peter hears Karen say before he passes out, unaware of the growing pool of blood underneath him.

…

In the four months since Tony’s death, one thing Happy had told himself, the very same thing he promised Tony all those years ago, is that he would be there for Peter when he couldn’t be. Which is why a few months ago, he took it upon himself to set the kid’s AI up on all of his tech devices at home and on his phone to get any updates from the kid’s suit, with FRIDAY’s help since technology is a little (very) out of his realm.

The only problem is that Peter hasn’t really had any contact with him in the four months since the funeral.

And Happy understands why. Tony’s death didn’t just affect him. It’s affected the entire world, especially Peter. Tony and Peter had such a special bond that wasn’t quite like the normal mentor and mentee relationship. What they had… it was like a bond between a father and son.

Tony absolutely loved that kid, equally as much as he loved Morgan. From the day Morgan was born, Tony would tell her stories about Peter and she grew up believing that Peter was her long-lost brother. And it’s true. In the rare times Peter has visited the Stark cabin, Happy has seen for himself that Peter and Morgan are like mini versions of Tony. Peter might not be Tony’s biological kid… but he sure could fool Happy if he didn’t know.

It’s close to one in the morning and Happy finds himself wide awake, mindlessly channel surfing in his dimly lit living room. He’s debating between watching the Discovery Channel or a cheesy rom-com on the Hallmark Channel to get himself tired when his phone dings with a message. He blindly reaches over to the couch cushion beside him and picks it up and looks at the screen, only for his stomach to drop when he sees it’s a notification from Peter’s AI, Karen.

Multiple GSWs detected.

Vitals dropping.

Emergency medical attention is recommended.

Happy’s eyes widen in shock as he feels cold dread flow through him. He leaps up from the couch and grabs his keys, shoving his bare feet in his sneakers before he’s out the door, running for the elevator that leads to his apartment building garage.

…

It’s a blessing that the tracker in Peter’s suit reads that he’s only a few blocks away. He can only hope that he makes it in time.

“FRIDAY, have Dr. Cho set up whatever she needs to for Peter when I get him to the Compound.” Happy orders.

“Right away.” FRIDAY voice flows through the speakers of his car.

Happy silently thanks Tony for installing the AI into his car all those years ago. Back then he thought it was stupid and unnecessary, but it’s definitely coming in handy right now. It’s one of the best gifts he’s ever gotten. He glances at the map on the touchscreen tablet installed onto his car’s dashboard, seeing that the bright red dot is still in the same location from when he first started driving, meaning that Peter hasn’t moved.

Happy’s grip tightens on the steering wheel as he approaches Peter’s location, the building in his sight.

He slams on the brakes, skidding to a stop as he all but jumps out of the car once it’s in park and cautiously walks in the sketchy looking alleyway, eyes darting around for any sign of danger or the teen, only to find it empty but clearly the scene of a crime that the police had cleaned up sometime before his arrival. There are dents in the side of the brick buildings he can only assume are bullet holes. The sight of them tightens the knot in Happy’s stomach.

The rain has picked up considerably during his drive, only worsening the situation because Happy knows that Peter doesn’t thermoregulate well and he could get sick if he’s out in bad weather like this for too long.

“Peter?” Happy calls out, reaching a hand to the back of his sweatpants waistband under his raincoat where he stashed his handgun he grabbed from the glove box in his car in case he runs into any trouble. “Kid?” he repeats louder, squinting against the rain through the darkness.

He pulls out his phone from his coat pocket with his free hand and looks at the tracker’s location, seeing that he’s now on the red dot. Peter should be here but clearly, he’s not. Happy lets out a frustrated sigh as he pockets his phone and runs a hand through his short, wet hair as he looks up to the sky, only for his eyes to settle on the rooftop above.

The sudden realization hits him like a ton of bricks. Peter must have been able to make it up to the rooftop before the police showed up. The kid isn’t stupid--he knows the police would have taken Spider-Man in and they would have been able to easily catch him with him being injured.

Happy’s eyes quickly scan the building for a fire escape and when he finds one, he wastes no time in getting the metal ladder down by standing on a crate he found, before he’s carefully climbing up the slippery thing.

When he’s up the fire escape a minute later, he’s panting, out of breath and it’s downpouring now, forcing him to squint against the droplets hitting his face as he swings his legs over the ledge and steps onto the gravel roof.

“Peter? Kid, it’s me where are—” Happy calls out, only for his voice to get lost in his throat when his eyes land on the blue and red figure laying on the ground a few feet away from him. Happy’s eyes widen as fear shoots through him, turning his blood ice cold. “Oh my God,” he breathes out as he runs over to Peter’s all-too-still form on the ground and drops to his knees at the kid’s side. “Peter. Kid? Come on, answer me please.” Happy pleads worriedly as he carefully lifts the kid’s mask and slips it off, revealing Peter’s soaking wet, ghostly pale face, his hair sticking flat to his forehead.

Please, God let him be alive. Please. I can’t lose anyone else. Please. May can’t lose anyone else. This kid is all she has left. Please let him be alive.

Happy’s fingers instinctively go to Peter’s neck to his pulse point and he waits for a brief, terrifying second before he feels a faint thumping beneath them. Faint but there.

“Thank God,” Happy breathes out, relief flowing through him.

But they’re not out of the woods yet—not even close.

Happy scans Peter’s body, only for his eyes to land on the bullet wounds, one on his right shoulder and the other one on his left leg, both of which are sluggishly bleeding, the blood being washed away by the pouring rain. But from here, Happy can see that it’s bad.

Shit.

“Kid? Peter?” Happy calls as he gently shakes Peter’s other good shoulder, gently at first and then a little rougher, silently praying to see those baby brown eyes once again, until the teen lets out a weak, pained groan.

It takes a few seconds before Peter manages to open his eyes halfway, looking completely out of it judging by how glazed his eyes are.

“T’ny? S’ you?” Peter slurs.

Happy’s chest tightens with sadness at that. The poor kid is so out of it he probably can’t remember anything.

“No, it’s Happy—see?” He tells him gently as he leans over the kid a little more to shield him from the rain as best as he can.

It takes the kid another few seconds until Happy can see the gears working in his head as Peter looks at him with recognition. “H’py?” he asks.

“Yeah, it’s me, Pete,” Happy tells him. “How’re you feeling? Tell me what hurts.” He orders gently.

“M’ head… e-everything,” Peter mumbles as he closes his eyes, brows pulled together in pain.

Happy frowns worriedly as he notices the teen is shivering. He gently shakes Peter’s uninjured shoulder again. “Hey, don’t fall asleep on me. You have to stay awake.”

“Mhmm,” Peter mumbles as he slowly blinks his eyes open once again, seeming to struggle with just that. “S’ hard to.” he admits.

“I know it is, kid. Just stay with me, okay? I’m going to get you out of here.” Happy tells him as he yanks off his raincoat and drapes it over the shivering teen. “Let’s get you to the car, okay?

“M’kay,” Peter mumbles, blinking sluggishly.

Happy reaches down and carefully snakes his hands under Peter’s back and legs, taking in a deep breath before he picks him up in his arms, feeling his back protest against the added weight. Peter lets out another pained groan from being jostled.

“Sorry, Pete,” Happy says as he turns around and starts to walk back to the fire escape, which is going to be a challenge for sure.

He couldn’t go down this building’s stairs and walk inside with an injured and maskless Spider-Man in his arms. That would attract too much attention and suspicion from the residents--not to mention there could and probably are security cameras inside.

So the fire escape is their only option.

“Okay, Pete listen up,” Happy says. “I need your help here, alright? You’re going to have to walk just a little bit so we can get down this fire escape.” He says, looking down at the teen in his arms.

“But m’ tired,” Peter mumbles, words slurring slightly.

“I know you are but I need your help here. I need Spider-Man’s help, okay?”

Peter sluggishly opens his eyes as he slowly nods. “M’kay,” he mumbles.

Happy steps onto the fire escape and carefully sets Peter down on his feet, keeping an arm on the teen’s shoulder to keep him standing when Peter’s face scrunches up in pain. He helps Peter put his arms through the raincoat so he has better access to his hands.

“I’ll go first and I’ll help you down, okay?” Happy says as he takes a few steps down the ladder. “You’ve got this, Pete.”

Peter slowly nods as he grips both sides of the metal railing for balance. They slowly start their way down and Happy keeps an arm out in case Peter slips. They make it one flight when Peter’s injured leg suddenly gives out, causing the kid to let out a choked gasp in pain as he grips the railing in front of him tight enough to dent it.

Happy is quick to brace a hand on his lower back, catching him. “It’s okay—It’s okay. You’re okay. Just take a minute to catch your breath, okay?” he reassures.

Peter’s shaking from the effort of holding himself up. “S-Sorry,” he says as he lets out a pained groan, leaning forward as he leans his forehead against the rail in front of him.

“You okay?” Happy asks, brows pulling together in concern.

“Y-Yeah… jus’ dizzy.”

That definitely isn’t good. Happy looks over his shoulder, seeing that they only have one more flight to go. He looks back up at the teen above him. “We’re almost at the bottom. Just hang on for a few more minutes. Do you think you can do that, Pete?”

“I-I’ll t-try.” Peter says with a small nod.

“Okay,” Happy says unsurely as he takes his hand away from the teen’s back as he takes a step down, ready to catch him again if need be.

When they’re finally down the fire escape, Happy helps Peter down by wrapping his arms around the teen and easing him to the ground, mindful of his injured leg. Peter sways where he stands, clearly absolutely exhausted from their trip down the stairs, as Happy wraps the teen’s uninjured arm over his shoulders and wraps an arm around the kid’s back, leading him towards the car up ahead, the headlights standing out against the darkness.

Happy opens the backseat passenger door up and helps Peter lie down in the back before he runs to the trunk and grabs spare blankets he’d stashed away for a time like this. He runs back to the backseat and gently places one of the blankets underneath Peter’s head for a pillow, while he covers him up with the other one.

Happy eyes the kid worriedly as he reaches down and carefully wipes away a few stray rain droplets from Peter’s forehead. “Just hang in there, Pete, okay?”

Peter shakily nods in response into the blanket pillow without looking up.

Crawling out of the backseat, Happy shuts the passenger door and jumps in the driver’s seat before he pulls away from the alley and all but floors it, mindful of the precious and very injured cargo in his backseat. He throws the heat on full blast in the front and back, as well as the second-row heated seats.

Adjusting the rear view mirror, Happy can see Peter’s pain-filled face, adding to the guilt and worry flowing through him. Judging by those dark circles under his eyes, Peter hasn’t been sleeping these past few days. He knows the kid well enough by now to know that he’s going through a hard time and he’s not telling anyone about it. No one should ever have to grieve alone.

And Happy knows this isn’t the first time Peter has lost someone in his life. First it was his parents, then his uncle, and now… Tony.

Life has been very unfair to Peter. But one thing’s for sure… he shouldn’t have to do it all alone. The kid has a big guilt complex and he never wants to burden anyone with his problems—he just wants to help people with their own problems.

But even heroes need help sometimes.

That is if the people around them care to be invested enough in their lives to see that they’re struggling. Which… Happy knows he hasn’t been doing a very good job of that these past few months.

I should have been keeping a closer eye on him.

Happy adjusts his grip on the steering wheel as guilt sits heavily in his stomach. From now on… he’s going to do better. He’s going to start weekly, no—daily check-ins on the kid to make sure he’s doing okay, and maybe they can even set up a weekly meet-up for lunch. Heck, Happy is even willing to pick him up from school every day.

But for tonight… Happy just needs to keep Peter alive, who’s currently bleeding out in the backseat of his car.

“FRIDAY, what’s the quickest way back to the Compound?” Happy asks.

“Routing course,” The AI responds before the route pops up on the navigation system. “ETA one hour.”

An hour is too much time. Happy glances back in the rearview mirror at Peter, who’s now passed out, still shivering away under the blankets covering him.

Happy looks back at the road determinedly. “Let’s make it thirty minutes.”

…

The ride upstate is a blur as Happy drives as fast as he can, cutting a few red lights along his way out of the city. During those long and tense thirty minutes, Peter half-wakes up a couple of times, dazed and confused out of his mind.

“T’ny?”

“No, Pete it’s Happy,” he tells him, adjusting his rearview mirror again to get a better look at the kid, who’s trying to slowly sit up. “Don’t move, Pete okay? You’re hurt. You were in a fight. Do you remember anything?”

Peter stays down, blinking sluggishly, silent for a moment as his brows pull together in confusion. “Are we fly’ng?” he slurs.

Happy looks back to the highway ahead, which is thankfully sparse of other cars, given that it’s now close to two in the morning. “With how fast we’re going, pretty much,” He answers as he looks back at the kid. “How’re you holding up?”

Peter blinks again as he stares up at the ceiling. “N’ suddenly m’ flying… flying like a bird… like ‘lectricity…” Peter mumbles as his eyes droop.

Happy’s brows pull together in concern. “What? Pete—you’re what?”

The corner of Peter’s mouth turns up into a dopey smile. “We’re soaring… flying… there’s not a s-star tha’ we cn’t reach…” he slurs out as he closes his eyes.

Well, shit.

That’s either the blood loss or the head injury talking.

“Sure, Pete,” Happy says worriedly as he glances at the navigation system, seeing that they’re ten miles away from the Compound. “FRIDAY, is Dr. Cho ready for him?”

“Dr. Cho and her team are prepared and awaiting your arrival.”

“Good. Thanks, FRI.” Happy says as he lets out a sigh.

“Of course.”

By the time they finally reach the Compound, Peter is out cold once again in the backseat as Happy carefully skids the car to a stop right outside of the front doors. He jumps out of the front seat and is about to open up the back door to help Peter out when Dr. Cho and her team walk out through the double doors, wheeling a stretcher.

Happy carefully picks Peter up, still wrapped up in his raincoat and blanket as he lowers him on the stretcher and before he knows it, the medical team is quickly wheeling him inside. Happy rushes ahead with them, keeping his eyes on Peter’s pale face until Dr. Cho stops him as they take Peter away through another set of double doors.

“We’ll take it from here, Happy,” She rushes out gently. “Thank you for getting him here so quickly.”

“Take care of him.” Happy says, coming out more like a plea than anything else.

“He’s in the best hands, I promise you.” She says before she disappears through the double doors, leaving Happy standing there alone.

He stares at the doors for a long few moments as guilt and worry flow through him.

When he turns away from the doors, Happy lets out a sigh as he walks over to the waiting area and takes a seat, rubbing his face tiredly. It’s been a long night and it’s far from over.

One thing he has to do is call May and fill her in on what’s going on.

And that’s going to be a hard phone call.

Happy lets out another sigh as he pulls his phone out from his sweatpants pocket, scrolling through his contacts until he finds May’s number. He taps the call button and puts the phone up to his ear, waiting for several moments until she answers.

“Hey. It’s me… are you sitting down?”

…

“Kiddo... I think it's time you wake up.” A familiar voice says.

Peter blinks open his eyes, only to find himself laying on a bed in a room he recognizes to be the guest bedroom at the Stark cabin. He frowns, not remembering how he got here.

“There he is.” The voice says.

Peter turns his head to the side, only for his eyes to widen in shock. Tony is sitting in a chair beside him, softly smiling at him.

“T-Tony?” Peter asks in disbelief.

“Hey, kiddo. Long time no see,” Tony greets. “How’re you feeling?”

Peter just blinks at him for several seconds, still not believing what he’s seeing as he slowly sits up. “Uh… l-like I’m seeing-”

“A ghost?” Tony asks with a grin before he breathes out a laugh, shaking his head. “No. I’m not a ghost.”

“What—how are you here?” Peter asks, his eyes widening further. “Am I dead?”

“No,” Tony quickly answers, shaking his head again. “You’re not dead. You almost were though if it wasn’t for Happy.” He says. “I’ve been gone for what, a couple of months and everything’s going off the rails, huh?”

The joke only causes a stab of grief in Peter’s chest. Peter looks down and fiddles with the blanket on his lap as he swallows around the growing lump in his throat as his eyes begin to water. “It’s… It’s been really... hard… without you.”

He hears movement at his side as Tony stands up and takes a seat on the edge of the bed next to Peter’s hip. “I know… I’m sorry.” Tony softly says as he reaches a hand out and places it on Peter’s shoulder, the gesture so familiar and comforting, it hurts.

Peter closes his eyes and feels a few stray tears slide down his cheeks.

“Hey, hey,” Tony softly says as Peter feels a calloused hand on the side of his face, his tears being wiped away by Tony’s thumb.

Peter opens his eyes, seeing that Tony is looking at him with sad eyes, surprised to see his eyes are a little watery as well.

“W-Why did you have to s-snap?” Peter asks him, letting out the question that’s been plaguing his mind since the moment Tony died.

Tony looks down with a small sigh. “Because… I had to.”

“N-No you didn’t.” Peter says, shaking his head, dropping Tony’s hand in the process.

“Yes… it did. I couldn’t have put that on anyone, Pete,” Tony gently says, looking into Peter’s eyes as he cups the teen’s face with his hand. “I had to do it. It had to be me.”

Peter shakes his head, blinking past the tears in his eyes as they continue to stream down his cheeks. “N-No it didn’t. Y-You j-just left us! P-Pepper, M-Morgan, H-Happy, a-and m-me. A-And I...I don’t k-know what to d-do without you.” He sobs out, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Oh, Pete…” Tony says, feeling the man gently pull him forward against his chest. “I’m… I’m so sorry, kiddo.”

Peter breaks down and cries against Tony’s chest, fisting Tony’s green sweater in his hands as he sobs. He remembers being in this situation quite a few times before, being soothed by Tony’s soft voice after a crying session. Peter doesn’t really know how this is happening, or why… but he’s not complaining. He’s always said that he’d give anything just to be with Tony one more time… and maybe this is it.

The thought has Peter crying harder, clinging to his mentor more. He can’t say goodbye. He just can’t.

“Shhh… it’s okay,” Tony murmurs softly, his voice rumbling against his chest. “You’re okay… I’ve got you, Pete.”

It feels like forever until Peter runs out of tears, leaving him wetly sniffing against Tony’s chest as the man gently rocks him, rubbing soothing circles on his back. Peter keeps his eyes closed, praying for this moment to never end.

“I’m so sorry, Pete. I didn’t want to go… I had no choice. It was me versus millions of people. Thanos would never have stopped his mission. I want you and Morgan to be safe and be able to grow up and have lives of your own. Do you understand?” Tony gently asks.

Peter sniffs, nodding against his chest.

Tony sighs softly as he wraps his arms around Peter in a hug. “I hate that I can’t be with you guys. And I know it’s been hard on you lately. And as cheesy as this sounds, just remember—I’m always with you. Okay? And I want you to know how damn proud I am of you, Pete. I always have been and I always will be. You, Morgan, and Pepper are the best things that have ever happened to me.”

They stay like that for a while, until the moment is shattered when Peter hears voices in the distance. He frowns against Tony’s chest as Tony lets out a small sigh.

“I’m sorry, kiddo… but it’s time to go.”

Fear shoots through Peter as he pulls away, looking up at him. “W-What? But I don’t want to go.”

Tony smiles sadly as he cups Peter’s face. “I know… but you have to, bud. They’re waiting for you. They need you, Spider-Man.”

“But,” Peter pauses, his brain racing. He has so many things to say—so many questions. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I know, Pete and I don’t want you to go, believe me. But I promise you, we’ll see each other again one day, okay?”

Peter’s eyes fill with tears once again as Tony pulls him in for another hug.

“I love you, Peter.” Tony tells him, feeling him press a kiss to the side of his head.

“I-I love you too.”

…

“I think he’s waking up now.”

“Peter, honey? Can you hear me?”

Peter lets out a small groan in response, feeling his body start to slowly come back to him but he still feels weirdly floaty and numb. He struggles to open his heavy eyelids until he manages to blink them open slowly, meeting blurriness. He blinks a few times to clear his vision, only to find himself lying on a bed in a room he recognizes to be the medbay.

This scene feels all too familiar.

“There he is.” a soft, familiar voice says to his right.

Peter manages to roll his bowling ball of a head to the side, expecting to see Tony sitting beside him once again… but he doesn’t. He sees both May and Happy sitting in chairs beside his hospital bed, May is smiling at him, gently squeezing his hand in her own.

It all comes back to him.

Tony’s dead.

It was just a dream.

Peter’s face drops as he feels his eyes warm up as tears start to pool in them. Grief and sadness flow through him all at once, overwhelmingly so.

“What’s wrong, baby?” May asks with a worried frown.

Peter sniffs wetly as he closes his eyes. “I-I thought-” He starts to say, only for a sob to escape from his lips. “I-I thought T-Tony was here.”

“Oh, honey,” May says as he feels her fingers gently card through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

“N-No,” Peter says as he shakes his head, wincing as it brings a sharp spike of pain from the movement. “I-I was with him. H-He was there.”

May turns to Happy and they both share a knowing look before they both look at him again.

“Peter…” Happy says, seeming to struggle for words for a few seconds until he closes his eyes for a brief second, meeting his eyes. “When Dr. Cho was working on you… you lost a lot of blood. Your… heart… stopped beating for two minutes.”

Peter stares at him for a few long seconds before he looks away at the wall across the room, processing the information. He’s taken out of his thoughts by May grabbing his hand again, feeling her gently squeeze.

“You okay? I know that’s a lot to take in.”

Peter licks his lips and slowly nods. “Yeah…” he says, blinking a few times. “Do you think that I… was actually with Tony?”

May smiles softly, her eyes tearing up. “You might have been from the sounds of it.”

“He was keeping you safe and helped you come home.” Happy adds in with a sad, knowing smile of his own.

Peter nods with a small, watery smile. “He did.”

“Thank God you’re okay,” May says as she stands up and carefully hugs him, wetly sniffing.

“I’m sorry.” Peter mumbles into her shoulder as he closes his eyes, weakly lifting an arm up to hug her.

She pulls back and sits on the edge of the bed, shaking her head to herself. “I don’t even want to think… if Happy hadn’t gotten you here as quickly as he did. If you really...”

Happy reaches over and takes her hand in his, offering her a reassuring smile. “He’s okay, May. It was a very close call,” he gives Peter a serious look before looking back at her. “But he’s going to be more careful next time and I’m going to make sure he wears the Iron Spider suit from now on.”

May nods in agreement, as she looks at Peter. “Yes. And we’re going to make sure you get your proper sleep. No more skipping curfew.”

“And you call when you’re going to be late.” Happy adds.

“Yes,” May agrees, looking back at him, smiling. “We make a great team.”

“We do.” Happy says with a knowing smile.

And it’s… weird.

Almost… flirty.

Peter eyes the two of them, raising a brow in confusion. “Uhh… what’s happening here?” He slowly asks.

“Umm…” Happy says, eyeing May nervously.

May breathes out a nervous laugh. “Well… we… kind of just…”

Peter squints at them. “Are you two… a thing?”

May and Happy both look at him like deers caught in headlights.

And Peter feels pretty dumb right now because how the heck did he miss this? He must have a pretty shocked expression on his face because May’s eyes widen nervously.

“Peter--I was going to tell you but you’ve been going through so much lately and I didn’t want to spring this on you. And we’re still figuring things out!” May says.

“Yeah! We’re just… seeing where this takes us.”

May nods in agreement. “Yes. Seeing where life takes us with this and… what road we’re going down.”

Peter blinks, processing this, along with the fact that he was pretty much dead for two minutes.

It’s just a lot right now and it’s making his head hurt more.

Peter just sighs, tiredly smiling at them. “It’s okay--I’m happy for you guys. Really.”

May and Happy both let out relieved sighs at that.

“Wow. That feels good to get off my chest.” Happy says.

“Yeah,” May agrees with a small laugh before she looks at Peter. “Now that that’s settled, you need to rest! How about you try to get some more sleep, okay?”

Peter smiles tiredly. “Okay.”

Sleep. That sounds pretty good right about now.

Settling back down in bed, Peter closes his eyes and tries to fall back to sleep as May and Happy softly talk beside him. He’s close to falling asleep until he thinks of something.

Oh. So that’s where all of those flowers have been coming from.

18 notes · View notes

enasallavellan · 4 years

Text

Committed

Guys, I'm gonna be gone for awhile. I'll be entering treatment -most likely for around a month. Below the cut will be a full explanation of what is going on.

TW: Major depressive disorder

TW: Suicide

TW: Delusional Episode

A short while ago, I got an idea into my head.

I wasn’t supposed to make it to 30.

I still think that, I still think that I don’t belong her anymore.

I mean, I can seriously recall a moment where I was supposed to die. I was photographing an old abandoned building and walking along a big pipe to try to get to part of the building that I couldn’t assess otherwise. I slipped, and by all rights should have fallen. The pipe was slick and I had yet to buy my gripping boots.

That’s when it was supposed to happen.

So at this point, I’m not supposed to be here. I figure that could be why so many things have gone wrong, that really shouldn’t have gone wrong. I’ve basically screwed up whatever is around me.

So the next thought came up. If I’m here when I’m not supposed to be here - who the hell is controlling all this mess? Is there no god or deity? Does that mean my grandparents are just gone? My little puppy who passed a few years ago from some stupid infection after a simple surgery? Is he just - poof? My friend Adam, who I’ve used as a basis for Krem’s personality in my fic? After all the shit he went though - it’s just a poof?

I need there to be something after this. I need there to be SOMETHING. God, or ancestors, reincarnation, or some sort of paranormal dice roll.

I think that’s why the idea of working a grinding job makes my stomach sick. Exposing more and more of the world to someone who shouldn't exist.

I’m only putting ‘delusional episode’ because I’m being forced against my will. The only reason I’m being allowed to post this is if it passes my father and husband’s scrutiny. I’m 100% the above is true.

So my plan was to get 600 cash. I would stock my car with a few change of clothes, some cheap water bottles as well as one I could refill. I would have bread and peanut butter, some of these tuna packs that don’t need to be refrigerated, and some V8. I would also need a new pair of rainboots and to pack up my urbex bag. I would be leaving my computer behind, so a hard-cover notebook would be necessary.

I would also bring my favorite things - a music box my grandmother specifically left me after she passed, my favorite edition of Alice in Wonderland, my first doll given to me at one, who I would hate to leave behind. And my camera, of course.

I was calm - I was happy. I was ready.

I would gather all these things slowly and starting putting things in my car as I went. I had a few construction bags and had planned to start getting rid of things asap.

I would travel all over, going from place to place that was supposed to have paranormal or divine qualities, something that might give me some sort of proof of something. If there wasn’t anything, if we just died and disappeared, then what, in all honesty, is the point in fighting? Why should I constantly fight though the pain and fear when there would be no relief in some sort of afterlife?

This was not a suicide attempt, it was an attempt to find something. If I found something, I would come back. I would leave all of my meds at home (they don’t seem to do shit anymore) except the powerful anti-anxiety and pain meds left, which I planed to use if I didn’t find anything after my entire route, I would use to disappear.

I need to emphasize to everyone, the goal of this was not suicide. I needed to find something - I have to find something.

But as is the case with me so often, things went wrong. I had a note, ready to go. Typed out on my ‘notes section’. I was going to write it as neatly as I could later, wait for a day that my husband has a gig, and that was when I would leave - that way he didn’t wake up to that mess.

I love roadtrips. If it had to end with nothing to follow, I wanted to end it doing my favorite thing.

I asked him to look up something in my notes section, and I don’t know if he clicked on the wrong one or if he saw then “Last Roadtrip (?)” title partway down and got concerned.

So yeah. Got caught.

Instead of going through with that plan, I will be entering a “voluntary” treatment plan. And by voluntary, I mean it’s either that or involuntary commitment.

They do ECT there, though. So I get to keep that up. Yay.

I won’t have any access to my phone for at least a week (they want you focused on treatment), and I am unsure if I will have access to a computer any earlier. Once I get my phone back I’ll be able to be online for shortish periods of time a day. Maybe I’ll write, maybe I won’t. I might try to get on discord, but I’m unsure if I will.

I’m also chopping off most of my hair. Down to the waist no more. If I’m being forced to go into treatment, I want one of those bad-ass or care-free short haircuts, so maybe when I go in I’ll feel more bad-ass or care-free instead of terrified and sad and angry.

Peace out for now, my friends. See you when I’m released.

#tw suicude #tw major depressive disorder #tw: suicide plan #delusional episodes

12 notes · View notes

crystxlclear · 4 years

Text

sudden desire

chapter three: so, maybe i’m not okay

part four of sudden desire

prologue / one / two / masterlist

in which two best friends won’t admit they’re in love so decide to have a baby together instead.

pairing: marcus pike x original female character

word count: 2.5k (short lil chapter today!)

warnings: mentions of illness? other than that, none that i can think of? maybe the tiniest smidge of angst if you squint

Coraline has always been close to her father. One of her very first memories involved her perched on his shoulders at a Fleetwood Mac gig. He'd managed to sneak Cora, her brother, Daniel, and her heavily pregnant mom side-stage — the perks of him managing the venue at the time, in between jobs — and he'd cried when he'd heard her singing along to his favourite band. The show was all she'd talked about for a solid two weeks. Sure, the memories were a little grainy and probably warped by a crackly VHS tape of her mother's that she used to watch almost every day, but they were memories she held onto it as tightly as she could.

It was her father who took her first (dreadful) headshots, and him who she'd turned to when her sister died, and him who'd persuaded her that leaving everything and everyone she knew and loved back in Michigan to settle down in California (and then, later, D.C.) was a good idea. She owes her dad a lot, which is why the phone call has been playing on her mind all day.

The call came at 3am. She'd only fallen asleep two hours earlier, after Loren had arrived to pick up Maisie an hour late, hair a mess and rushing to apologise. Marcus had left a little while later and she'd practically collapsed into bed a few minutes later. She'd been woken by the low humming of her phone vibrating against her bedside table as it shot light through her dimly lit bedroom. She'd groaned uncomfortably and reached for it, cheek wedged awkwardly between her pillows and the mattress and legs tangled wildly in the sheets (Scott had always said she wriggled a lot in her sleep, but she'd always assumed he was exaggerating, until she slept alone).

She'd scowled when she'd seen it was her dad; he knew her schedule, and she'd told him she was up early when they'd spoken earlier that day. He never rings her late and it takes a moment for the frustration of being woken early by her phone to bleed away into worry and concern.

"Hello?" She'd croaked our groggily. "Are you okay? Is mom okay?"

She'd been met with a chuckle. His voice was low and gruff when it came, unusually thick and strangled. "Hey, Corrie." There was shuffling on the other end, hushed voices floating in and out of focus, until the phone went silent enough to think that maybe he'd hung up and hadn't meant to disturb her at all.

She'd scowled but her phone assured her he was still on the line. "Dad?" She'd called out to him. The panic had begun to rise when it wasn't his voice that replied.

"Coraline," her mother's soft voice breathed out. It was like a sigh of relief. "Sorry to bother you." Her French accent tipped the corner of her words. It always got stronger when she was upset or worried or scared, and it was especially thick now.

"What's wrong?"

Another pause. "Your father is in the hospital."

"What?" She’s suddenly holy upright, fear turning her blood to ice.

"He's fine, don't worry." She'd assured her. "He’s had some problems with his breathing again. They're doing some tests."

She'd almost booked a flight back to Michigan, almost abandoned filming and ran back home to make sure her dad was okay. The last time he'd been in hospital, it had been touch and go, and they'd spent an entire day huddled at his bedside in fear, just in case he'd stopped breathing. It was touch and go, and she couldn't live with herself if the worst happened and she never got to say goodbye to the man she owed so much to. She'd been in the process of scanning over the next flights on her laptop when her dad had taken the phone back from her mom and practically demanded that she stay in D.C.

Eventually, she'd relented. He'd promised to update her and she'd told them she loved them both before hanging up. But the phone call had sent her entire day into a tailspin.

She’d tried to sleep the extra hour and a half before she had to haul herself to work but her mind was running too wild for that. Even despite the reassurances, worry was plaguing her thoughts and panic was forcing her eyes open. Everything was just too much.

The last time it had happened, she'd had Scott. It was back when things were good, and he'd held her as she'd finally fallen asleep, curled up against him in an uncomfortable hospital chair.

But, now, he’s gone. Now, then, she was stood on set alone, trying her best to bite back a yawn and the tears, with so much concealer hiding the dark circles under her eyes that she can feel it clinging desperately to her skin. And, of course, life had picked the day when they had the most action scenes to film to deprive her of sleep.

Her entire body ached. She isn't sure how she's still standing after the first hour of work, with her legs protesting with every movement. Two hours of sleep and the running and the jumping and the endless stunts had sapped every last scrap of energy from her bones. She'd carried on stoically for most of the morning but she's truly never been more grateful for a lunch hour before, when she finds herself curled up against the couch in her trailer, passing out even despite the panic still swelling in her chest. She'd been surprised when she hadn't cried — maybe she was just too exhausted and her body simply couldn't muster the tears — but she's grateful she manages to keep the tears in because she doesn't want to haul herself back to set with mascara tears on her cheeks.

She’s even more grateful when she makes it home after a day that feels like five rolled into one and the scattered couch cushions look far too inviting for her to ignore.

It's an uncomfortable sleep and she wakes with the beginnings of a headache thrumming through her skull and a stiffness in her spine that she can't seem to straighten out. She's not sure how long she's managed to sleep — barely half an hour, she assumes — because she's woken by a soft knock on the door instead of the alarm she'd set on her phone. It wakes her with a jolt and she can't help but groan at the aching protests her limbs give when she stands. She shuffles across the apartment to the door and Marcus is stood there, smiling, his suit jacket and tie draped across his arm.

She's half dressed too - only he looks a damn sight better than she does, because his hair isn't dishevelled and messy and his shirt isn't twisted half way around his torso. She shouldn't have slept in her clothes but at least she had the hindsight to take off the stiff jeans. Except, now, she’s startlingly aware she’s standing before Marcus in nothing but her underwear and an unforgivably tight tank top.

"Good evening, Sunshine." He grins, that smile that makes her think that maybe he should be the one she called 'Sunshine'. "I brought you coffee." An odd offering at nine on a Wednesday evening but she’d been complaining, via text, about the lack of quality caffeine all day. Marcus offers her a polystyrene takeout cup as he steps inside.

"Lifesaver," she mumbles as she grabs it by the flimsy top and shuffles towards the kitchen to pour it into her unused Death Cab for Cutie mug — the mug her brother bought her three birthdays ago — and sips on the coffee. It's far too hot but she doesn't care; she needs the caffeine just to keep her eyes open. She grabs the blanket that she’s been sleeping under and wraps it around her waist, hyper-aware that she’s still wandering around in her underwear. She’s almost too tired to care.

"Are you okay?" It’s almost like he can tell. Though, she’s sure it probably has something to do with the dark bags beneath her eyes. She’s sure it probably looks like she’s been punched square in the face.

She shrugs. "I'll be fine. 'm just tired," She hums. Coraline slumps back against the couch cushions, pulls a thick blanket back over her body and lets her eyes flutter shut again. She groans and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"Bad night sleep?" There’s bags and piles of fresh laundry piled on the chair he usually sits on, a product of Coraline’s half-hearted attempt at productivity. Instead, he resigns and sits down beside her at the opposite end of the couch, lifting her legs absentmindedly to rest in his lap, sipping on his own drink, and smiling at her sympathetically as she stifles a yawn against the back of her hand.

Her eyes drag towards him when she opens them again. They rest on his face, studying everything from the softness of his brow and the curve of his prominent nose, to the scattering of facial hair that dances across his jaw, small patches of grey poking through at the edges. She’s glad he kept it after whatever undercover work he’d been assigned to before they’d even met. "If I tell you it was the worst night sleep I'd ever had, in my entire life, would that make me sound dramatic?"

"You? Dramatic?" Marcus scoffs and a smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. His free hand rests on her leg; he draws patterns against her skin but she’s not even sure he realises he’s doing it. "Never."

“Shut up.” Coraline glares at him but smiles, regardless. "Well, I think I'm allowed a pass today."

His face falls at her words. "What happened?"

She sighs and takes a hand through her hair. "My dad-" She eyes him as he watches her intently, brown eyes soft and comforting. "-he's ill again."

Cora had told him about her dad's illness, about how she worried he'd wind up back there again, in the hospital, that things would be worse this time. He'd listened to her like what he was saying was the most important thing in the world and she'd almost cried when he'd held her in a hug a little longer than usual. It was that night that she’d tried to ask him about his past; she wasn’t sure if he was trying to avoid telling her because he didn’t trust her or because it held things he didn’t want to relive. She half-hoped it was the latter, but she hated to think that he might be bottling things up, things he didn’t want her to know or didn’t feel comfortable sharing.

She wishes he’d tell her things. She’ll understand, no matter what it was. She’ll listen, like he does to her, for as long as he needs, as long as he wants.

It’s almost comical how different they are in that sense. Marcus is reserved, closed off, but in way that doesn’t suit him. It’s like whatever exists there, whatever memories lingered, had been withered by sadness, by something or someone, until there’s a barrier guarding his secrets and story that he hasn’t meant to build. She sees the softness in his eyes when she tells him her stories or shares her fears, like his heart is aching to spill the details of his past. Like he can’t let it out. It works for his job — undercover work, secrets, classified information — but somehow it doesn’t suit the smile and the softness of his words as he illuminates Coraline’s darkness.

Coraline, on the other hand, finds her words spilling from her chest before she can even hold them back. She’s not sure if it’s just him — the reassuring smiles, the soft brush of a hand, the gentle voice — but they pour from her at an almost embarrassing speed, like a waterfall of words cascading at regrettable speed. She’s not even entirely sure that she won’t spill her secrets to the next stranger in the street who offers her a smile. But that works for her job; people prying, picking her apart like vultures, scavengers of information found tucked away out of reach. It’s the worst part of the job description, to expect someone to know every detail of your private life, but she often thinks she’s open enough to sate them, until they leave her alone at last.

On paper, they make no sense. Jobs, the polar opposite, necessary privacy mixed with relentless publicity. Open and closed doors. But Coraline thinks, perhaps, that’s why they work. It balances them both out.

Marcus reaches over and catches her hand in his. There's barely any space between them because of the way they’re sat, with her feet prodding at his knees. "I'm sorry, Cora," he whispers, his thumb running over her knuckles softly.

After a shaky smile, gazes locked for maybe a little too long, Coraline stands up and smooths out her shirt. As much as she appreciates it, and appreciates him, she doesn't want to cry. Not today. "It'll be okay." She scrapes her thumb under her eyes, brushing away the black smudges that she's sure have formed underneath her eyes, and finishes the last of her coffee. "Everything will be okay."

Cora isn't entirely sure she believes that.

#marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x oc #marcus pike x original character #marcus pike #pedro pascal x reader

49 notes · View notes

jenomark · 5 years

Note

It's the same anon with what I'll call empathic tendencies now 😂 I didn't realize how much this discussion developed and i hope you're not tired of this topic by now... Do you mind if I go by empath anon for now? Also, how did you find out you were an empath? (I appreciate all the feedback from you :))

Hi! I don’t mind. You may certainly go by empath anon.💕

There was never one clear moment when I realized. Every year, I’m a little bit wiser about what goes on with me. Every year, I get a little more accepting of who I am. I feel, like, if I were to tell you when I realized, it would require a story. I will try to make it as short as I can.

Spoiler: It’s not short.

I officially knew something weird was happening to me when I was 15. Before that, I was always a quiet, observant, sensitive, and compassionate kid. I understood a lot of things. I thought about a lot of topics 6-year-old’s shouldn’t be thinking about (life, death, pain, what makes people do the things they do). I’ve always felt like I was born an adult, if that makes sense. Anyway, high school is when I started noticing that I might be a tad fucking strange. I kept seeing images in my head, then the images I saw in my head would play out in real life, days or weeks later. I would hear songs playing in my head only for some kid to walk into a room singing the song. I knew things that I shouldn’t know about people (fears, emotions, what is important to them, what kind of energy followed them around, sometimes what their future would be like etc.). Being in school, surrounded by all of those people, it gradually became stronger. I can’t fully explain it, but, when I look at some people, it’s like I can see everything they are. There are parts that are blacked out, parts that make no sense to me at all, but it’s all just written like a picture book for me to flip through.

Let me preface by saying that I’ve always been a writer. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t write things down. Writing has always made me feel calmer, made me feel more like myself. When I was 19, my friend peeked inside this notebook that I had, and she convinced me that I should keep writing the stories I began but never finished. Ever since I actually finished the first story, the Empath shit kicked in. I’m not saying writing brought forth whatever Empath gift I have, but that was the turning point when everything became too overwhelming. A psychic medium moved in next door to me a few months later, and she turned my entire life upside down. She was actually the one that explained everything to me, told me how my life was going to go, and pretty much made me realize what kind of person I didn’t want to be (like her). Since 2012, everything has been moving at an alarming rate. I feel everything, I know too much about people (but I never get to choose which people), I can feel those I’m connected to from thousands of miles away, I dream things that come true, I finish people’s sentences, I draw people to me etc.

Even with all of this stuff happening to me, It wasn’t until 2017 that I really began to accept myself. In 2016, I saw a picture of this famous actor. I felt a really weird tug towards this actor. This “tug” towards people happens frequently with me, but I am largely into ignoring the things that freak me out. I kept seeing this dudes face everywhere for months, like, it was so annoying. I would see billboards of his face, my cousins gf gifted me a funko pop of him and no one even knew about any of this, and I was in a store once and I walked by some girl that said his name. I eventually got mad and decided to listen to what the universe was trying to tell me. Music is a big driving point in my life. I use it to stabilize my own mood, to assure that I don’t latch onto people in public spaces. I found out that this actor dude was in a band and was playing in my city in a few months, so, I bought a ticket for me and my sister. In March 2017, I went to that gig thinking I was just going to enjoy live music, maybe get a picture with someone super famous. To begin with, the night felt odd. I felt the actor and this dude next to him staring at me whenever everyone went outside to get some air (it was in a very small coffee shop with about 30 people). Towards the end of the night, the man that was next to the actor approached me and my sister. The conversation was normal. He was mostly engaging with my sister. I was my usual quiet, on-guard self until he turned to me and said “You care too much. You feel it all.” And , like, there are few things that shock me to my core, and he managed to do that. I was having a conversation earlier that day where I said exactly that to my sister, “I care too much. I feel it all.” The man ended up telling us he was the actors personal guru/clairvoyant (and to other celebs throughout his life). He knew every detail of my personal life. He knew I was a writer. He knew I was an Empath. He knew about my family, my relationship with my mother. He told me that I was there that night for a reason, that I needed to have that experience. He told me all about my future (exactly what my psychic medium neighbor had said years prior) Then, he introduced me to the actor (well he made me introduce myself because he said I pretend to be shy to protect myself from others) and then proceeded to tell that actor that I was “Special”. I am telling you all of this because, up until that point, I had never entertained the idea that I was anything other than strange. I still struggle with hating myself today, but it was that man who helped me be on the path I am now. He’s the reason I’m so open about things.

So, yeah, the answers are when I was 6, 15, 19, and 28. 😂

#asks #empath anon #Anonymous #sorry this is so long #and please read before you judge #or think about what i'm saying before you pass any judgement #thanks!

7 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Tess & Bea

Tess: You have to tell me where you are Bea: I'm fine Tess: That isn't what I asked Bea: That's what you need to hear regardless Tess: No, I need to hear a location Tess: but I'll drive round with a screaming baby regardless Bea: Don't waste time guilting me, go home Tess: Come home and I can too Bea: That's not an option Tess: Neither is this Bea: Yes it is Bea: I can say the placement fell apart, they'll have to find a new one, easy Tess: If that's what you want, we can talk about it Bea: Just keep Ro, okay Bea: please Tess: Oh Bea, of course we're keeping her Bea: Good Bea: She doesn't need to leave, she's not done anything Tess: None of this is about your sister, it's about you Tess: and you don't need to leave Tess: Talk to me Bea: I do Bea: I'm not going to stop Bea: I'm sorry but I can't Tess: So you leave, what then? Tess: You know they could send you anywhere Bea: I'll visit Tess: If you say the placement broke down, you don't also get to come round for tea Bea: I meant him Bea: I know I can't come see you all Tess: He'll still live here Tess: If you're gone, you're gone, kid Bea: You can't keep him under house arrest forever Tess: You think I'm letting him out of my sight after this? Bea: Yeah Bea: screaming baby, after-all Tess: I'd say watch me, but you won't be here to see it Bea: I'd say the track record is 1-0 to me Tess: The punishment doesn't really fit my crime, but go ahead Bea: This isn't about punishing you Tess: I am being anyway Tess: but I ain't special, so are you, so is he Bea: We didn't mean to, alright Tess: I know that Bea: There's no point punishing him for it Tess: There's every point in trying to protect him though Tess: especially since I've done such a shit job of it up til now Bea: I'm not a predator Tess: That's not what I'm saying Tess: I can't stop you from going but I can stop him running off after you Bea: Yes you are Tess: No, I'm not Tess: I'm saying I know exactly how he feels about you and what he's willing to do Bea: I'll tell him not to Tess: Yeah, 'cause that'll work Bea: You're either going to protect him or you aren't then Tess: All I can do is try Tess: That ain't always enough, I don't need you or anyone else to tell me Bea: Well then Tess: Are you gonna tell me where you are or am I calling the police out? Bea: Don't be ridiculous Bea: I'm just thinking Tess: Whether you reckon it's ridiculous or not, it's the hoop I have to jump through Tess: I'm still your foster carer for now Bea: If you don't come, I'll tell you Tess: Tell me and I'll decide whether it's safe to leave you there or not Tess: This isn't a game Bea: I'm not an idiot Bea: I wouldn't go anywhere unsafe Tess: Me either, but you've both treated me like a mug Tess: That stops now Bea: It wasn't personal Tess: How do you reckon that? Tess: This affects all of us Bea: We didn't want any of you to know Tess: Well, now I do, and if you leave the others are gonna notice Tess: They'll have questions Bea: That have simple answers Tess: You really want your sister to think that the slightest bad behavior and she's out on her ear too? 'Cause that's how it'll look Bea: It isn't slight bad behaviour, I've not stolen a fiver out your purse Bea: I'm not a child Bea: and she's unlikely to repeat the offense so I think we're fine Tess: Oh so you want me to tell her the truth, warts and all, yeah? Tess: Put it in your file for the next person and everything, like Bea: I don't care, do what you have to Bea: I told you, I'm not going to stop seeing him Tess: You may not care about yourself but I care about you Tess: Jesus Bea: I know and I care about you, believe it or not Bea: that's why I'm fixing this Tess: It's not a fix Tess: If you leave here fuck knows where they'll put you, who with Bea: I'll be fine Bea: I'm sure I've handled worse Tess: You don't know that Tess: and what about him? I'll carry the guilt and responsibility of it, I know I can handle it, but don't tell me you want that for Fraze Bea: Don't Tess: I don't need to tell you what he's like Tess: How much it'd hurt him if anything happens to you, he's already in bits that you legged it Tess: You need to think carefully about what you want your next move to be Bea: I'll talk to him Tess: Come home, he's waiting for you Bea: I don't want to talk to you yet okay Tess: I'm not gonna block the door unless you do Tess: You can come back Bea: Alright Tess: He don't wanna talk to me either but I'll let him stay too Bea: It's just Bea: we don't need to ever do we Tess: I reckon we do, kid Tess: but it doesn't have to be tonight Bea: We'll see Tess: Listen, if I'd had the option at your age, shit might have worked out different for me Tess: I'm not saying I need every detail, believe me I don't, but shutting me out ain't the way either of you are gonna get what you want Bea: We know what we're doing, don't worry Tess: That doesn't make me feel better Tess: and it's not just about that Bea: I'm just saying Tess: Me too Bea: I'm not gonna make you a grandma Bea: get real Tess: I know you won't, all the time I've spent having chats with him to make sure that won't happen Bea: Ugh Tess: Not a barrel of laughs for any of us Bea: You know they teach us all that in reception now, yeah? Tess: I know that this is the last baby I'm raising Tess: and that I didn't push these kids outta me for someone else to raise 'em Bea: Should've given Fearghal the talk Tess: I've given him plenty Bea: Maybe yourself, then Tess: I give it out, don't mean I take it Bea: Hmm Tess: Anyway, I wanted every one of 'em Tess: You included Bea: It's alright, he won't remember any of this Bea: 3-4 earliest, you can say what you like 'til then Tess: I'll say what I like then too Tess: You know me Bea: Of course Tess: So, where are you? Tess: 'cause I'm gonna keep asking Bea: I was on a bus Bea: now I'm waiting for one back Tess: I'll come get you Tess: in silence Tess: at least from me, can't speak for the baby Bea: Can I get in the back or is it the boot only Tess: I was thinking roof rack Bea: ha ha Tess: Career in stand up after maternity leave is a maybe Tess: fair enough Bea: Wouldn't run up any credit banking on it Tess: Those days are over, kid Tess: I don't owe anyone anything Bea: Leave that out of your routine Bea: not very relatable Tess: Depends on your audience Bea: Aiming for royal variety as your first gig is even more ambitious Tess: Gotta aim high Tess: Be an even shitter role model otherwise Bea: Shut up Tess: You've got jokes too, yeah? Tess: Trying to tell me what to do is bound to get a few laughs Bea: Know your audience Tess: ha ha ha Bea: Alright, not coming for your gig Tess: Good to know, like Tess: I need the cash more than you Bea: How'd you work that one out Tess: Many mouths to feed under my roof Tess: including yours Bea: Which you're currently managing to do Bea: I've got none Tess: Well, I would've paid you for babysitting if you'd got eyes for anyone but each other Bea: ha ad infinitum Tess: That one ain't a joke, trust me Tess: I trusted you both with my kid Bea: And he is and was fine Tess: You really gonna take credit for that, are you? Bea: We wouldn't let anything happen to him Tess: It isn't always a choice Tess: and you've already made it clear what your priorities were and are Bea: He was asleep Tess: If you're reckoning that gets you off the hook you're speaking to the wrong person Bea: I'm saying, he was fine Bea: you don't watch him sleep Tess: and I'm saying there's plenty of other teenagers I could've paid not to give a fuck Bea: and I'm saying we do Bea: didn't leave him outside or forget to feed him Tess: Yeah 'cause that's the benchmark here Tess: don't take the piss Bea: Jesus Tess: Be as angry as you want, I'm livid Bea: Not waiting for permission Bea: just this bus Tess: I saw that for myself Tess: He's not allowed no girls in when I'm not, it's not different rules for you Bea: If you wanna make that your cross to bear Tess: I'd love to not have to Bea: Then don't Tess: Look what happens when I take any steps back Tess: Great idea, cheers Bea: This would've happened regardless of how much of a helicopter mum you want to be Bea: It's got nothing to do with you, I keep saying Tess: The consequences have got everything to do with me, whatever happens Tess: I'm responsible for him and you Bea: It's not like I have a social worker Bea: and it's not like it's illegal Bea: or anyone else knows Tess: 'Cause I'm it, I'm meant to do it all for you Tess: that's what parenting is Tess: I'm not bothered about things blowing up in your face that way Tess: what happens when you two don't wanna be together anymore, you'll have to leave or live with it Bea: I know Bea: we've done that before, remember Tess: It'll be harder this time Bea: We can handle it Tess: You can't speak for him Tess: He's not as strong as he lets on, you know that Bea: Well it's happened Bea: It can't be taken back Tess: No shit Bea: So he'll have to Bea: You can't do anything about it Tess: I can pick up the pieces, I'll have to Bea: That's what parenting is Tess: Yeah Bea: Are you telling me I can't date your son? Tess: I'm not that stupid Bea: Then what Tess: It's too late to prepare you for what this is gonna be like, but I have to try Bea: We're the only ones who know what it's like Tess: That ain't gonna stop everyone else having an opinion Bea: I've got about as much interest in them as I usually do Tess: He cares if you don't Tess: and he'll care more living that bullshit day in and day out Bea: then he can dump me Bea: I'm not forcing him to do anything Bea: I don't know why you think that I am Bea: he isn't a baby Tess: It ain't that simple Tess: wanting something doesn't make it easy Tess: and not caring don't mean people can't make it harder, they still can Bea: What is anyone going to do Bea: You can't even do shit Bea: end of Tess: You'll find out if you're determined to Bea: I've told you I'm not stopping Tess: and I've warned you Tess: like you said, end of then Bea: Yep Tess: Do you want that to be your last word before you get in this car? Bea: Do you want an apology? Bea: If so you'll have to be more specific because I'm not apologizing for parts I'm not sorry for Tess: You don't reckon you've got anything to be sorry for Tess: Why would I want an apology you don't mean? Bea: I didn't say that Tess: As good as Bea: I don't want to leave for my benefit Tess: It wouldn't be for any of ours Tess: Not mine, not his and not your sister's Bea: If I wasn't in your care, you wouldn't get any repercussions, any judgment, or any of those opinions you're talking about Tess: I can handle 'em, I already have done long before you moved in Tess: I'm trying to warn you 'cause nobody did me, there's not much they can say I haven't heard Bea: So can I Bea: Words don't do shit to me Tess: If it's only words I'll stop worrying Bea: If anyone calls the social what can they do Bea: you say you discourage it, don't leave us alone, whatever Bea: they've got bigger fish to fry Tess: I don't know what they'll do, that's the point Bea: Nothing Bea: Even if they did take me away, so what, I already said I'll go Tess: None of us want you to, that's what Tess: fuck's sake Bea: So we'll hide it and lie and no one outside the family needs to know Tess: that'll look worse when it comes out Tess: I don't want another kid taken off me, alright Bea: What can I do Tess: You could've come to me, but like you said, it's happened now Bea: No I couldn't Bea: You think you could've talked me out of it Bea: Him, maybe Bea: but you're years too late Tess: I told you, I'm not that stupid Tess: I know what it feels like to not give a fuck about anything but the one person everyone is telling you that you shouldn't Tess: and what the consequences feel like Tess: when those people are right and when they are wrong too Tess: one lad broke my heart and the other never has Bea: That's life, right? Bea: You can't protect them from it, though being a mum is wanting to, I'm sure Tess: Mine, yeah, don't follow in my footsteps any of you Bea: Not my plan Bea: but you've done alright Tess: Good Tess: now maybe Bea: Ask any therapist, your childhood ain't your fault Bea: unless you wanna go there Tess: I ain't been a child for a long time, there's no excuse for me there Bea: You were then Tess: I weren't allowed to be then Tess: that was the problem Tess: So I tried to be an adult, and unsurprisingly fucked that up Tess: Still am and still do Bea: I know what you're trying to say Bea: but it ain't an option for me either Bea: ain't your fault Bea: but it's how it is Tess: I'm trying to say I don't just love Fraze, it's you too Tess: Everything I want for him, I want for you Tess: end of story Bea: This doesn't mean we can't get what we want, and what you want for us Bea: I swear Tess: I wanna believe that, but I'm as far from a 13 year old kid as you can get Bea: Wait and see then Tess: That's all I can do Tess: what you can do is take this kid far away from me while I have a cig and not say a word about it when we get back Bea: Alright Bea: even hold my tongue on how you trust me with your precious youngest now Tess: Keep him where I can see him, like Bea: Within eyeline but away from the second-hand poison, gotcha Tess: It ain't personal, it's just that he's my last go at this Tess: to not entirely fuck up from day 1 Bea: Thank God for the silence rule so I don't have to hear any more of this Tess: I can break it as easy as I made it if you're gonna be that gutted Bea: You're clearly gonna Tess: Leave your reverse psychology outside the car Bea: Only if you leave the woe is me bit Bea: who are you fooling Tess: I want your sympathy as much as I want any of this Tess: It's how it is Tess: You've had what, 6 years, to see for yourself Bea: Then leave it out Bea: like you're not on your way to a sainting Tess: I'm not that close to death, cheers Bea: That you know of Tess: killing me so you can run away with my son is plan B then? Good one Bea: Nope but if you have an aneurysm at the wheel we're all goners Tess: don't flatter yourself that you've made me that angry Tess: the baby did a number on my hormones not you, kid Bea: Then I repeat, quit the bitching Tess: Quit the attitude Bea: 😏 Tess: Yeah, that's what I thought Bea: Where are you Tess: If I honked my horn you'd hear it Tess: do you want me to be your embarrassing Ma? Bea: As if you have any other mode Tess: Don't start lying now Bea: 🤐 Tess: Yeah yeah, get in the car

4 notes · View notes