#i'll maybe do a short story/one-shot at some point | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

javier-pena · 4 months

Text

quicksand

Pairing: Pedro's unnamed character in Materialists x f!reader

Word Count: 8.2k

Rating: Explicit

Summary: You meet a stranger at a party.

Notes: Last week I saw these behind the scenes shots of Pedro in Materialists and somehow I had to write 8,000 words about that? I'm also not quite sure what happened, it was supposed to be like 3k max. There was also this ask Han @swiftispunk received that I couldn't get out of my head. The title is inspired by Ms Swift's song Treacherous (And I'll do anything you say / If you say it with your hands / And I'd be smart to walk away / But you're quicksand), the rest is inspired by going completely feral whenever new pictures dropped. Tremendous thanks to Dani @alexturner who just beta'd a long-ass fic last week and then this fic this week - you're being way too good to me with indulging all thoughts I have that I have to turn into short stories 🫣 My dear, sweet anon who kept sending me encouraging asks, this is for you!!

***

There’s laughter coming from downstairs, deep, rumbling laughter impossible to ignore. Your whole body seems to shake with it, your heart stutters in your chest angrily, and you press your hands over your ears. But the loud voices are still there, mocking you with their indifference to your pain. You bury your face in your cool satin pillow and sob into it, ruining the expensive fabric. You don’t fucking care.

All your friends warned you this would happen and you hate how they were right. “You’re nothing but a toy to him.” Shut up, Marissa, you’re just jealous. “Maybe you should look for a boyfriend who’s closer to you in age.” Maybe you should look for a boyfriend, period. “You’re only a fuckmaid to him, do you realize that?” That was the point you stopped listening to them and, at the same time, it was the point you should have started listening.

You are nothing but a toy to him. You should have looked for someone closer to you in age. You are … no, you can’t bring yourself to even think the word, because the truth hurts too much. The truth and your blindness and your stupidity and the fact that you’re throwing your life away for a man who breaks every promise he makes and who treats you like a pet. A beautiful, expensive pet that can be ignored whenever it’s convenient.

“Come with me to the Keys,” he whispered into your ear, his breath hotter than his steadily cooling release sticking to your thighs.

“What?” you asked, heart clenching painfully. When was the last time he cared enough to make you come? Months ago?

“Come with me to the Keys,” he repeated. “The change of scenery will be good for us. I’ll show you around. We can go deep sea fishing. I’ll buy you some dresses and bathing suits. Just take my card tomorrow.”

He brushed your hair away from your neck, kissed the skin there, cupped one of your breasts, squeezed it hard. “Piers,” you warned, tried to get away from him. But there was nowhere to go.

The truth is you had been looking forward to his trip. Had been looking forward to having the apartment to yourself for a while. It’s not like you would’ve done anything in particular except just breathe for once.

“Don’t be like that,” he mumbled against your neck, squeezed your breast again. “Don’t you want to sip on a nice cocktail? Wear a risqué outfit for me?”

No, you didn’t want that. But if you didn’t say yes soon, he’d get angry. “Okay,” you gave in. “But you have to promise me that you’ll spend one day with me. No business.”

What’s easily promised is easily broken.

Today is supposed to be your day. And for once in your life, you thought it would be. Piers took you out for breakfast, right by the water. You watched the sunshine dance across the waves. Then he showed you around town, took you to his favorite spots in Key West, even held your hand. And you thought, This is it. I’m finally worthy of him. Then came the call, followed by those emails, and suddenly Piers was like, “Sorry, babe, I have to meet them, they’re important business partners. Why don’t you go to the beach club, buy yourself a nice massage? Here’s my card.”

Here's my card. You’ve never hated three words more.

What you didn’t expect was to come home to a party. At least twenty men were milling around the house Piers liked to refer to as his “Key West Residence”, a late 19th century villa. Twenty loud men, rich like Piers, most of them his age, leering at you as you stepped through the front door, mistaking you for tonight’s entertainment.

“Babe!” Piers boomed, spilling half his drink while opening his arms as if he meant to hug you. The glances didn’t stop. “Go upstairs, freshen up, put on something nice, and then let me show you off.”

You managed to complete the first step before breaking down on your bed. You’ve been sobbing ever since.

Something breaks downstairs and some of the men roar. You bury your face deeper against the pillow, terrified to go back downstairs, terrified to stay up here. Whatever you do, it will be the wrong thing. You close your eyes and think about what it would be like if the men downstairs vanished. If you had the house to yourself, sharing it with a person you loved and who loved you in return. You could be having dinner on the patio now. Before that, you might go for a swim in the pool, knowing the only eyes on you were your partner’s, the only glances you received were welcome.

You sit up straight. You might hate it when Piers’ business partners look at you like you’re a piece of meat, but Piers hates it too if they don’t do it without being invited. Twenty men imagining all the vile ways in which they could fuck you is the last thing you want right now, but it’s also the last thing Piers wants.

You stumble into the bathroom and wash your face with ice cold water, willing the puffiness of your eyes to recede. You put on your most expensive makeup, the kind that only comes off with intensive scrubbing, then you pick your most revealing bikini and put it on. If those men stared at you like that in a long sundress, their heads will probably explode if they see you like this.

Chin held high, beach towel thrown over your shoulder, you make your way downstairs on high heels the same shade of black as your bikini. You feel utterly stupid, like you’re giving them exactly what they want, but the flush that spreads across Piers’ cheeks when he sees you is worth it. There are some whistles, a few crude comments, one man slaps your ass, but you make it to the pool. None of them are brave enough to follow you outside.

The water is cool against your skin, doing its best to extinguish the fire that burns within you. The flames don’t die down completely but they’re certainly soothed. You start to swim, one length, then three, and soon the party resumes and the men pick up their conversations again. This almost feels normal; this almost feels like a life you could enjoy. Except that you’re alone. And not in a way you crave.

You stop swimming and start drifting on your back, watching the sky above turn from a gentle blue into a soft pink, a bright orange, a deep purple. Soon, the sun will go down and the party will pick up speed. You should go, put on a dress, let Piers show you off, vanish before they’ve had too much alcohol.

You climb out of the pool, squeeze water out of your hair, wrap the towel around yourself. No one is paying attention to you now, so you pick up your heels to carry them back upstairs. There’s no way you’ll make it back to your room without one or two unwanted glances, without the odd rude comment, but you can live with that. You step onto the patio, eyes firmly fixed on your destination, then start walking through the gathering, careful not to look at anyone, careful not to be seen.

Someone sees you though. It’s not Piers, and it also isn’t one of the men who look at you and lick their lips. It’s someone watching you from the shadows, someone on one of the chairs in the parlor. Keep your eyes on the stairs, you tell yourself. Nothing good can come from this. While you were in the pool, Piers must have turned on the music, old jazz songs he always plays when he wants to appear sophisticated. The tinny sounds of saxophones make your ears ring, irritating you more than the heavy smell of cigar smoke that seems to be seeping into every corner of the house. You feel horrible between all those men dressed in their suits, even with the towel covering most of your skin. And you wish that one man would stop watching you because it makes you feel hunted, makes your body beg to run and hide.

At the foot of the stairs you pause, your heart in your throat. A man brushes past you, pretending like there is only so little room he has to press his palm against the small of your back. You turn around looking for Piers, ready to pretend you have a horrific migraine and won’t be joining him after all, when your eyes land on the man who is making the hair at the back of your neck stand with his unrelenting gaze.

You can’t see him properly because he’s half hidden behind the door to the parlor, a room that’s devoid of proper lighting and full of cigar smoke. But you see his dark eyes on you, feel them look right through you, see you for who you are, while he laughs at something the man next to him is saying. You crane your neck to get a better look at him but two other men walk past, obscuring your view. When they spot you and start to make their way toward you, you bolt up the stairs. At least no one will dare to follow you up here.

*******

“There she is!” Piers announces later, opening his arms wide again. He doesn’t spill his drink this time. You step into his embrace and let him kiss your cheek. “Took you long enough, doll.” You hate it when he calls you that, but you keep on smiling. Then he leans closer and whispers, “If you ever pull a stunt like that again, I’ll make sure you’ll regret it. Letting another man touch you! What’s wrong with you?”

So it did bother him after all. It should make you feel proud, but it only makes you feel empty. “I’m sorry,” you whisper back and kiss him. Someone at the back of the room whistles.

“Just try to behave for the rest of the night,” he says coldly, then smiles at you and asks in his loud business voice, “Isn’t she lovely?”

Some of the men nod but none dare to look at you directly. Not when Piers has his arm slung around your shoulder anyway.

“How about a drink?” he asks you and when you nod, he takes your hand and leads you toward the bar at the back of the parlor. You follow him, shivering slightly from the evening breeze blowing in through the open French doors. The smoke in the room makes your eyes sting.

With practiced ease, Piers fills a sparkling glass with vodka and soda, adding a bit of lime juice. You try to ignore the man who is standing a little bit too close to you, whose eyes hang a little bit too low.

“Here you are.” Piers hands you the glass. “I have something to discuss with those gentlemen over there,” he nods at two men standing by the door to his study, “but I shouldn’t be too long. Try not to cause too much of a scene while I’m gone.”

You close your fingers around the glass and nod. All you want to do is run.

As soon as he’s gone, they start to close in on you. It’s what Piers wants. He wants others to desire what belongs to him – his apartment, his car, his life. You’re part of all of that. He wants these men to desire you, to think they can have you. You should have listened to your friends, to Marissa and Annie and all the others. If you had, you might hate yourself less.

You know they all want to talk to you and they won’t take no for an answer, so you start to make your way toward the open French doors to escape into the garden. If you stand right at the edge, you can hear the waves whisper and feel the ocean breeze on your face. And if you keep still long enough, they might forget about you.

You don’t even make it out the door before your eyes start to wander from the lush green bushes and trees outside and land on a man sitting in a leather armchair close to the open doors. You don’t know if it’s the same one whose gaze you felt on you earlier, but there’s something about him that makes it hard for you to look away. He’s in the middle of a conversation, one leg comfortably slung across the other, ankle resting against thigh. One of his hands is spread on his knee, his fingers stroking and tapping the expensive fabric of his back dress pants in a nervous tick. His other hand is wrapped around a glass full of amber liquid that he takes a swig from right as you walk past, pretending not to notice how the muscles in his neck work as he swallows, pretending not to notice the gold ring on his little finger that clinks against the glass as he lowers it again.

Your own drink untouched, you stand on the patio, off to the side where you hope no one will notice you but where you can look at that stranger from time to time. You don’t think you’ve seen him before, but you don’t usually pay a lot of attention to Piers’ associates. None of the men here this evening look familiar. Still, there is something about the way this man runs his fingers through his dark curls from time to time, the way he tries to smooth the wrinkles in his white shirt, the way he takes a drag from a big, dark brown cigar once in a while that makes it impossible for you to look away. Until another man demands your attention.

“Hi there,” he says, his laugh showing off perfectly straight, perfectly white teeth. “I’m Hutton.”

You think about saying, “And I’m not interested,” but to Piers that would probably count as causing a scene. And Hutton looks like he’s one of the younger men here, probably in his late 30s. There are worse guys to talk to. “Hi,” you reply with a sweet smile.

“Lovely evening, isn’t it?” He steps closer to you, encouraged by your smile.

“Yes,” you reply. “So how do you know Piers?”

If he’s annoyed by you bringing up your boyfriend right away, he doesn’t let it show. “We work together,” he answers, which could mean anything in Piers’s world.

“And what brings you to Key West?”

“The scenery,” Hutton answers, not even trying to hide his hungry gaze that glides over your naked shoulders and cleavage.

“I thought it was business,” you say, your smile faltering slightly. “Seeing you’re here.”

“I try not to mix business with pleasure.” Hutton leans against the small sliver of wall between the French doors and the corner of the house. “It’s neither good for business nor pleasure.”

You hum, trying to take a step back. You’re already at the edge of the patio though, and you almost stumble off it, losing your footing.

Hutton grabs your arm and pulls you toward him. “Careful there, pretty girl.”

You try to pull your arm back but he won’t let go. “Thank you,” you say at the same time as he says, “Have you ever thought about exchanging Piers for a younger model?”

It didn’t take him more than a few words exchanged to get to the point.

You yank your arm free but he grabs it again. “Stop it,” you command in your strictest voice but he only grins at you.

“Don’t be like this. I’m only fooling around.”

“Then let go of me.” He doesn’t.

You’re about to throw your drink in his face, even if it means Piers will be angry with you again, when someone steps out onto the patio.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

He’s standing right there, one hand in the pocket of his dark pants, the other holding his cigar. Shame washes over you and your palms grow sweaty. You really don’t need this right now. But Hutton immediately lets go of you and turns to face the newcomer.

“We’re good here, thanks,” he says, his jaw clenched.

The stranger takes his time to take a drag on his cigar, lets out the smoke while looking up at the now deep purple evening sky. “It’s a lovely evening, isn’t it?” he asks and Hutton lets out a sigh.

“Are you just going to keep standing there?” he asks.

The stranger shrugs.

You glance into the parlor, at all the men milling about, wondering if you could make your escape without anyone noticing. But there is something in the way the stranger holds himself that makes you want to stay and find out how this ends. Piers, by now, would have rushed past Hutton, a snarl on his lips, his anger directed at you. The stranger just stands there, his shoulders relaxed, acting as if he doesn’t even particularly care that you and Hutton are out here on the patio as well. It’s a different kind of threat … a different kind of protectiveness.

Hutton turns to you. “Are you coming?”

You shake your head and with a roll of his eyes and an annoyed, “Whatever,” he vanishes into the house, leaving you alone with him.

The silence unbearable, you say, “Thank you.”

He takes another drag on his cigar, then comes closer to you. You ignore how your heart flutters at his approach. He reaches for your hand and for a wild moment you think he’s going to grab your arm too, but he only takes the drink from your hand, sniffs the contents of the glass, then dumps it over the edge of the patio. “Let’s get you a proper drink,” he says.

You’re too stunned to do much more than follow him back into the house and toward the bar. Around you, the volume has risen since you stepped out onto the patio, but you don’t care as much as you did before. It’s hard to care about anything when your stomach is in a tight knot and when you feel like the world around you has gone completely quiet.

The man steps behind the bar, gently places his cigar in an ashtray, then regards the collection of bottles before him with his hands on his hips. “You don’t look like a vodka girl to me,” he mumbles, and you feel your face grow hot. You don’t know why. “Here.” He pulls out a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of vermouth. You only now notice how big his hands are, and your mind immediately starts to replay the evening. His hand on his knee, his hand around his glass, his hand … You shake your head, but the shiny gold ring on his little finger glitters enticingly as he unscrews the bottle of vermouth to smell the alcohol within. It’s like you’re a magpie, enchanted by everything that glitters.

“Sweet enough,” he concludes, pouring a little vermouth and a lot of whiskey into a martini glass. Then he goes through all the bottles once more until he finds one of lavender bitter and adds it to the mix.

“What is that?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “I’m not done yet.” There’s a small jar of cocktail cherries he unscrews. With skilled movements, he skewers two of them onto a silver cocktail stick before handing you the glass. The mix inside is orange on top, a reddish purple deeper below. It looks like the sunset you watched earlier.

“What is it?” you ask again.

“Taste it,” he tells you, an eager glint in his eyes.

You take a careful sip and widen your eyes in surprise at the strong yet sweet taste. “Oh, this is really good!”

“It’s sweet, like you,” he says, then seems to change his mind, adopting a matter-of-fact tone of voice. “It’s a Manhattan. That’s where you belong, not in this tourist trash kind of town.”

That makes you laugh. “Hey, I like it here.”

The bar is still between you but he leans on it to get closer to you. “I bet you would also like Manhattan if I showed you around.”

“I’m from Manhattan,” you tell him. “I live there, actually.”

“I do too,” he responds. “Funny how we should run into each other here, of all places.”

You inhale shakily. You don’t know why. “If you hate it here so much, what are you doing here?”

He smiles at you, and you’re sure your heart stops. “I heard you talk to that other guy. I’m not here to have a conversation like that with you.”

You take another sip from your cocktail even though it makes your head spin. “What are you here for then?”

“That’s just another way of asking me what I’m doing here, angel eyes,” he points out. He does it so smoothly you almost don’t notice the diminutive.

You straighten your back, only now realizing you were leaning on the bar close to him. He mirrors you, then walks around the wood between you so he can stand directly next to you. “You tell me what you want to talk about then. After all, you approached me, you made me a drink, you wanted to whisk me off to Manhattan.”

“That was before I realized how worldly you are,” he says and his smile turns sly.

“Oh?” you make. You swallow. “Am I too difficult for you then?”

“I like a challenge.”

This is where you should stop. This is where you should thank him again for rescuing you, and for the drink, and where you should walk away to find your boyfriend, who surely has to be done with his meeting by now. But how can you step away when he’s still smiling at you as if he’s having the time of his life, when you felt drawn to him all evening, when having his eyes on you makes you feel truly seen? Yes, he isn’t exactly subtle in the way he flirts with you, but there is a kindness in his gaze you’ve never seen on another man before. And then he touches you, straightening the strap of your short, tight dress, and your whole body comes alive.

“You know smoking is bad for you, right?” is the only thing you can come up with, willing your voice to remain steady.

“I like things that are bad for me,” he replies.

It’s such a cheesy line, it makes you want to bury your face in your hands. But, god, does talking to him make you feel good.

“Ha!” He points at you. “That’s the first genuine smile I’ve seen all evening.

“Call me ‘sweet’ again and you might see some more,” you retort. All you want to do is to tell him you don’t mind his harmless flirting, that whatever this is between you is fun, but it comes out heavy with implications. Implications you can’t take back because you don’t want to.

He brushes your hair behind your ear and you think you might die. “You’re very brave.” It’s a statement. “I saw you walk to the pool earlier in –”

“I know,” you interrupt him. “I saw you watching me.”

He brushes his thumb over your bottom lip. “It made me want to kiss you.”

You freeze. There is nothing you can say that won’t end badly for you. “So you made me a drink instead?”

He plucks the cocktail stick out of your glass and holds it up to your mouth. You close your lips around the first cocktail cherry and pull it off slowly, your eyes fixed to his. It might just be the low lighting but you think his pupils dilate. He drops the stick back into the glass and takes a big swig of your drink, his eyes momentarily leaving yours. You do your best not to watch his throat as he swallows.

“You really are something,” he concludes, putting down the glass on the bar.

You feel lightheaded, as if you’d just made out with him for half an hour. “I’m also in a relationship.” The words are out before you can stop yourself. You didn’t mean to say them.

“I don’t give a damn.”

You giggle, actually giggle, like a schoolgirl with a crush. “You sound like the hero in one of those ancient black-and-white movies.”

“Or maybe I’m the villain.”

This time you do bury your face in your hands. “Oh, stop it.”

“No,” he simply says, and you get it. You want to kiss him too.

Instead, you glance at the small gold wrist watch on your arm. “It’s late. I should –”

He interrupts you. “Don’t –,” but you don’t let him finish.

“Thank you for the drink. And thank you for making me laugh. You made this whole thing bearable.”

You don’t know if you should shake his hand or kiss his cheek so you don’t do any of it. You pat his arm, once, trying not to notice how it feels against your palm, then walk toward the stairs, your heart breaking with each step. If you were single, you wouldn’t have hesitated to sleep with this man. If you weren’t Piers’ girlfriend, he would never have looked your way. It’s better to end it here.

The quietness of your room engulfs you, just like the soothing coolness of the pool earlier. As soon as you close the door behind you and lean against it, you can breathe. Yes, you can still hear the sounds of the party, but they’re muffled. You can finally hear yourself think again and you exhale shakily. You almost made the biggest mistake of your life. The adrenaline rush you got from it makes you snicker.

Piers isn’t entirely faithful. He attends parties with strippers, he looks at other women, you know all that. But it doesn’t mean anything because at the end of the day he comes home to you. What you just did … it goes beyond everything Piers has ever done, and you wouldn’t have been able to look at yourself in the mirror if you had spent one more minute in the presence of that handsome stranger. Even if your flirting made you happier than Piers has in months.

There’s a knock at your door and you jump. Expecting Piers, you open it without a second thought. “I’ll be right …,” you start but forget every word in the English language when you come face to face with the stranger.

“Hello,” he says, and that handsome smile is back on his face, even if he keeps a careful distance. “You vanished so quickly it made me wonder … did I do something wrong?”

“What?” you ask because it’s the only word you can remember.

“I’ll go back downstairs if you don’t want me here,” he goes on, “just say the word.”

They never come up the stairs. Never. Who does he think he is? “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just tired.” You try to close the door in his face, but he steps closer, bracing a hand against the wooden doorframe. “Excuse me,” you say insistently.

“Can I come in?”

Into your room? “Oh, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” you reject him. You laugh, but it sounds insincere. “You should go back downstairs.”

“Alright,” he agrees, “but you have to say it like you mean it.”

“Listen here,” you start in your best no-nonsense voice. He tightens his grip on the wood and you hear it creak, despite the noise downstairs. “I want you to …”

It’s no use. You don’t know who he is, you don’t even know his name, but you also know that if you don’t let yourself have this, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

“You need to say the words, sweet –”

“I want you to kiss me.”

You both freeze. His mouth hangs open, still in the middle of forming the next word he wanted to say. You tense, well aware that you said something you can not take back.

The few seconds that pass feel like an eternity. Then he pushes himself past the doorframe into your room, into your personal space. You smell the heavy scent of cigar smoke on him, you smell leather and lavender and citrus. You see his smile that turns into something more determined the closer he gets to you. You notice the stubble on his cheek, the glint in his eyes, the small dark spot on the collar of his white shirt. You feel … you feel his body pressing against yours, his hand pressing against the small of your back, his breath on your face, and then everything is reduced to his lips on yours, your breaths mingling, his … his tongue coaxing you open, not gently but insistent, and you not hesitating to open yourself up for him.

It's as if you’re watching it all from above, you pushing him backward, him closing the door with a hard slam, the both of you pulling at each other while kissing and kissing and …

“Careful,” he chuckles when you bite down on his bottom lip. “You said kiss, not –”

“I don’t give a fuck what I said,” you interrupt him, pulling his shirt out of his pants.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he says and grabs your wrist.

You groan. “Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts.”

He pulls you in for another kiss. “I’m not. You’re just … We’re doing this on my terms or not at all.”

Something throbs deep within your core.

He tightens his hold on you. “I’ve had all evening to think about this. To picture all the things I want to do to you.”

“It’s not going to be just kissing then?” you ask, relishing the chuckle you draw out of him.

“I knew I wouldn’t leave here tonight without feeling your pretty little cunt clench around me.”

It sounds like a line straight out of a porn movie. You should laugh, tell him to take you seriously. But all you can do is whimper at the thought of him sitting in his chair downstairs, talking to one of Piers’ associates or even Piers himself while thinking about being buried deep inside of you. Every other man would send you fleeing. Not him though.

“Who are you?” you whisper.

“Does it matter? Once I’m done with you, you’ll have forgotten your own name.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. “Those are some big words,” you point out.

He lets go of your wrist, then bunches the fabric of your dress up in his hand until he can reach below the hem, his broad, warm hand landing on your naked skin, his ring digging into your soft flesh. You gasp.

“Do you really think I’d disappoint you?”

“No,” you say too quickly, too rashly.

He grabs your dress again. “How about you take this off for me?”

“No,” you repeat, biting the inside of your cheek so you don’t laugh at the look of shock on his face. Then you turn around. “I can’t really open the zipper without some assistance.”

He runs both his hands over your naked shoulders and down to the middle of your back. You expect him to take his time, but he yanks the zipper down so quickly you think you hear fabric tear. You almost don’t have enough time to slip out of the thin shoulder straps before he falls to his knees behind you, pulling the dress with him. His hands are on your butt cheeks now, massaging, grabbing you as if he’s set on memorizing every detail. He slips his thumb under the hem of your panties, dips the tip into the wetness there.

You gasp at the same time as he whispers, “Knew it.”

You pull him away from you and turn around, well aware you’re completely naked except for your panties. “Well, it’s hardly surprising,” you start, your voice airy, but then it dies down completely at the sight of him kneeling in front of you looking up at you with so much heat in his gaze you’re getting burned. How did you get here?

You want him to tease you back, but he only pulls you close, his hands clasping your hips insistently, and kisses your belly, right above the hem of your panties. Then he kisses your thighs and your sides, and your belly button, and then he pulls down your panties and buries his face in your wetness with a relieved sigh. Your hands shoot forward and grab his curls, dig into them, desperate for purchase, as your head swims from the overstimulation. You would like to focus on the feeling of his hair between your fingers. You would like to focus on his tongue swirling around your clit. You would like to focus on the growl he makes when you run your nails over his scalp.

You think you’re laughing. You think you say, “Does that still count as kissing?”

“Yes,” he mumbles against the soft skin of your thighs. His curls are already a mess, his face is flushed, but when he glances up at you, his eyes are bright with determination.

“I think you have to show me that definition of kissing someday,” you go on, glancing up at the ceiling. You can’t look at him directly, it feels too intimate.

“That’s enough talking,” he decides and licks a broad stripe across your drenched folds.

You tighten your grip on his curls in response because your legs start to quiver. You hope he doesn’t notice, but his fingers dig into your thighs to steady you. The edges of his ring are cutting into you almost painfully – you want more of it. His hair wrapped around your fingers you pull him closer into you and he moans against you … actually moans. You push away those thoughts that make you compare him to Piers, how Piers would never moan if he was between your legs, how Piers never eats you out. This isn’t about him – it’s about you.

There’s something in the way that stranger rolls and flicks his tongue that tells you he won’t make you wait for an orgasm. You want to hold on longer because you can’t bear the thought of this being over already, but there is something in the way he devours you that pushes you toward the edge at a rapid speed. You don’t even hear the sounds of the party anymore, the laughter, the music; it’s just him and his deep sighs and moans.

You’re almost embarrassed by how fast you come. One second you’re appreciating the way his tongue flicks your clit, the next you can barely stay upright when your whole body releases months and months of built-up tension. You quiver in his grip and he holds you close, licking and licking until you can’t take it anymore. You think you mumble, “Fuckfuckfuck,” but there is no way to be sure. All you know is that you just had one of the best orgasms of your life.

You laugh as if the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders. What else is there to do? “So this is doing things on your terms?” you ask.

He sits back on his heels and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. You think you might explode at that sight. “No, that was for your benefit. The rest is going to be for mine.”

Your breath catches in your throat as you glance over your shoulder at your bed that’s rumpled from you crying on it earlier. If he can make you feel like that with just his tongue, what will he be –

“No, sugar, not like that,” he tells you, immediately pulling your attention back to him.

Your throat is dry when you ask, “What then?”

He stands and cups your cheek, his hand pleasantly warm. You lean into the touch immediately. “Don’t be so impatient. Enjoy the moment for a while.”

“What moment …?” you start but you don’t get far. He claims your mouth in a searing kiss that makes you wish you had been paying more attention to what he was doing when he was eating you out. You kiss him back, slinging your arms around his neck, the soft fabric of his white shirt rubbing against your naked chest. He licks across your bottom lip until you open your mouth for him, and then he claims you like no one has before. You fear that if you start thinking about how you can taste yourself on him, you’ll go insane.

“You’re so easy to kiss,” he mumbles against your lips. You’re not quite sure how he means it, but your chest still expands at the compliment.

“And you’re very handsome,” you retort lamely.

“Is that what you’ve been thinking about telling me all evening?”

“No,” you reply too slowly this time.

He kisses your temple, then brings his mouth right next to your ear. “I’ve been thinking about watching myself fuck you.”

He doesn’t give you time to process, takes you over to the vanity that stands opposite your bed, its mirror dull in the dim light of the room. Even when he places your hands on the table top, telling you to hold on, you still don’t think he’s serious. You look at yourself in the mirror, at the makeup smudges below your eyes, the birth mark on your throat that you hate, how your mouth hangs open in a way that looks so very unsexy. Behind you, that stranger you invited into your room, this man you know nothing about, is unbuttoning his expensive dress pants, his white shirt obscuring the view. What does he see in you that makes him want you like this?

“Do you know what you’re doing to me?” he groans, his eyes fluttering shut.

He’s holding himself now, but you can’t see his hand moving without turning around. And he didn’t tell you you’re allowed to look. Your palms begin to sweat against the wooden surface of the vanity, at the thought of him telling you what you are and aren’t allowed to do, at him praising you for doing well and punishing you if you don’t. You don’t recognize that side of yourself.

His eyes are open again and he searches for yours in the mirror. “I asked you a question.”

You swallow hard. “No, I don’t,” you say, fighting down a giggle. It’s nerves.

“I’d better show you then,” he concludes, and he pushes inside of you with one hard stroke, filling you faster than you can spread your legs.

You both take a moment to breathe. He adjusts himself, you try to get used to the angle, the feeling of fullness. You haven’t seen his hard cock, but you know he’s more than Piers, so much more the stretch is almost uncomfortable. The wood beneath your fingers starts to swim when your vision blurs and –

“No, none of that.” He grips your chin and lifts your head, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror. “I’ve also been thinking about you watching me fuck you.”

His hand looks so big holding your face like that, and when you swallow again, he can feel it against his fingers.

His own face is right there next to yours, his eyes firmly fixed to yours through the glass. “You’re a big girl. I’m sure you can take it.”

Before you can think of anything to say, he pulls out of you and thrusts back in in a tentative motion that is enough for your eyes to flutter shut in pleasure.

“No, no, no,” he whispers into your ear. “Keep them open.”

You do as you’re told and he rewards you with a sharp bite to the spot where your neck meets your shoulders. Your hips thrust back of their own accord, meeting his in a quick snap.

“You make such pretty sounds,” he mumbles against your skin.

You hadn’t even realized you were making any, too transfixed by watching him move behind you. Whenever your gaze wavers and flutters to your own face, embarrassment sends adrenaline shooting through your body. But he … watching his shoulders and arms tense and relax beneath his shirt that looks all too tight now, watching him meet your gaze, eyes full of lust … you don’t know why you would fuck anyone any other way than this.

He straightens his back, changing the angle slightly, and now you do hear yourself groan. He grabs your chin tighter and pushes two fingers into your mouth. “You know,” he says, and his hips snap with more force, faster, making the vanity rattle beneath your hands, “if you were mine, I’d let no man touch you. I would’ve broken his arm.”

It takes you a few seconds to figure out what he means; you’re too busy relishing the taste of his skin on your tongue. There must have been a man who touched you … when you were coming down the stairs … You can see it all clearly now. He would grab that man’s arm, calm and collected, twist it, make him shout in surprise … you can almost hear the bones snap.

“Oh, look at that,” he groans, and you do. You look at yourself in the mirror, unashamed, eyes wide. You watch how you eagerly suck and lick his fingers, watch it as if another person was doing it. You’re trembling in his grip … or is he making everything shake with his thrusts that are coming faster and faster now as he fucks you, taking what he needs? “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You almost don’t hear him, too transfixed by how depraved he’s making you feel. “You’d get off on that, a good man protecting you. Shame I’m not good, really.”

You don’t care. You’re done with those men who act politely, who treat you with care when they know Piers is around, but who talk about you taking it up the ass when your back is turned. You’d much rather have this, a man who isn’t scared to say these things to your face. Even if he thinks he isn’t all good, he still protected you.

He pulls his fingers out of your mouth and you whimper at the loss, watching how a thread of spit connecting his digits to your lips breaks. With his other hand, he suddenly grabs one of your breasts, squeezing your hard nipple with practiced ease, and you arch your back with a moan, exposing your throat to him. His fingers close around it, hard, restricting the airflow, his ring pressing against one of the most vulnerable spots of your body in a way that doesn’t leave any room for doubt – you’re doing this on his terms.

He tightens his grip on your throat until you start seeing stars, the loosens it. “I’m going to make you come now. I want you to watch yourself. I want you to see what you look like coming around my cock.”

If you could, you would nod, but he isn’t looking for your consent. He rolls your nipple between his thumb and forefinger one last time, then lowers his hand to find your clit. When he touches you, you make a sound like never before, one that’s feral and animalistic and can’t possibly be coming from you.

He shushes you, his breath tickling your neck. “You don’t want anyone to hear us.”

You don’t? You have no idea. You can’t form a single coherent thought as he pounds into you, making sure you’ll be able to feel him long after he’s done with you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Your voice is breathless after that scream, hoarse and raw. Your gaze flickers to his fingers curled tightly around your neck.

“Keep your eyes on yourself, baby girl,” he orders.

Baby girl.

That’s what does it. You watch your eyes widen and your mouth fall open as your body shakes first from his thrusts and then from wave after wave of pleasure. He was right. You love this. You love watching yourself come while he forces you to watch yourself, love to watch your orgasm play out across your face. He’s watching you too, licking his lips hungrily, never faltering. But you can see it in his eyes, the way he’s memorizing every detail of your orgasm.

“Well done,” he says once you’re done and moves your chin so he can kiss your lips.

Then he suddenly pushes you down so your chest connects with the table top. You grunt in surprise, then in pain when he rolls your head to the side so you can still somewhat glimpse his reflection above you.

“My turn,” he growls.

His teeth are digging into his bottom lip, his eyes are firmly fixed on his own reflection, and he holds you down with such a strong grip you can’t move, but also in a way that’s so casual it makes you feel like he’s using you. Your heart stutters with longing so intense at that thought that the feeling spreads to the rest of your body and becomes so intense he feels it in his own. At least you think that is what’s going on when he smiles down on you.

The position you’re in and the tenderness between your legs steadily turns from pleasurable to uncomfortable to simply too much. But he doesn’t finish. He keeps going and going, not as fast as before, seemingly transfixed by what you’re doing. You reach back for him and he grabs your wrist and pins it to the small of your back.

“Please,” you whimper, and it makes his intense gaze falter for just one second.

“Almost there, baby girl,” he replies, “you’re doing so well. Just keep taking it a little while longer.” You think you could bear anything if he just kept talking to you like that.

Then suddenly it’s over. There is one last thrust that pushes you onto the tips of your toes and then he stills. The only movement comes from his hips that are twitching as he empties himself inside of you. You don’t even dare to breathe, watching as his reflection slowly relaxes and he closes his eyes for a few seconds, trying to catch his breath.

Finally, he pulls out of you and you try to stand, but he pushes you back down again. “Stay. We’re not done yet.”

Your legs tremble in anticipation, but your mind is blank, unable to imagine what else he could have in store for you. You don’t feel anything at first, you just hear him moan, and then you realize he’s kneeling behind you, cleaning you up with his tongue, eagerly licking his own release off your skin. It makes you feel so lewd you forget about everything, even Piers. Especially when he doesn’t stop at your thighs but moves further and further up your legs until his tongue and nose are buried in your folds once more and he’s spreading you open with his big hands.

You can’t help it.

“Fuck, fu- I- I’m gonna –”

There’s no time for you to finish the warning before you’re coming a third time, your hips desperately twitching against the vanity. He licks you through it, catching every last drop you’re giving him on his tongue. You can’t tell for sure but you think he’s chuckling and for some reason the shame you feel turns you on even more.

When it’s all over, he peels you off the vanity and pulls you into his arms, brushing your hair out of your face that is sticky with sweat. “You sure are a greedy little thing,” he says before he kisses you tenderly.

You swallow a sob and give him a sigh instead.

“Half the people downstairs probably heard us.” There’s a big grin on his face at that thought.

“I don’t give a fuck,” you repeat your earlier sentiment, surprised to discover that it’s true.

“Someone wants to get caught,” he teases and kisses you again.

“What I want is for you to fuck me like that again.”

“Oh, baby girl.” You almost hate how he’s already figured out what hearing him call you that does to you. “There are a million more things I want to do with you. This was just a taste.”

You’re not sure if you can believe him, but you decide to indulge that fantasy. You put on your sweetest smile. “Can’t wait.”

He lets go of you and walks toward your door. “Why don’t you give me a call once you’re back in Manhattan.”

A red warning light switches on somewhere in your brain. “But I don’t even know your name.”

“Something tells me you’ll find out.” And with that, he’s gone.

#materialists fanfiction #materialists #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal #is this anything?#quicksand

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ellaa-writes · 1 year

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The Beast Wíthin

authors note: Part 4, part 5 here. Had to cut the last part in half as Tumblr wouldn't upload it. I'll be taking a break from this series, maybe doing small one shots, drabbles and headcanons but no big stories. Will be working on other stuff as well. Also if anyone as any requests or ideas please send them my way! masterlist

summary: Omegas are rare, in a world full of Alphas and Betas. Being a Omega was not only dangerous but they were highly sought after. After living your life has a Beta in disguise, you meet a scary Alpha, but not any normal alpha. But a gaint Apex Alpha who won't stop at anything to make you his.

tags: Alternative Universe. Female reader. Female anatomy. SMUT finally some smut. PinV, knotting, rutting. König is kinda an asshole but he doesn't know any better. More The Beast lore. Reader is feisty.

His fingers pulled you into position. His hot mouth was heavy against your core, the obscene noises you were making coming from under the blankets.

You were gasping and clawing at the covers, nails digging into your surroundings. Finding König short hair against his scalp, pulling on it hard.

He found your bundle of nerves and began sucking on it. Wrapping his lips around your clit, using his fingers to slowly coax open your entrance.

“Oh God.. König please.” you didn’t know what you were saying. If they were words or not, or just sounds.

You knees were pushed to your chest, flush against your tits. You didn’t know how or when you became naked. Your skin was hot fire, burning through everything.

König couldn’t get enough of you, if he could he’d dive right inside your pussy. He feels like a dehydrated man lost in the desert for years, and your pussy was like water. His hands like magic plucking sweet sounds from you. He could easily spend every waking minute just like this.

Fighting back his urge to shove himself right in and also fighting back The Beast from taking control in this moment. The snarling getting louder and louder inside his head, too the point he felt it crushing everything inside. Until his vision went black.

Before you knew it you were being flipped onto your stomach, König’s big hand twisting you into position. He dragged your hips up and over his crotch, your bare pussy making a mess of his boxers. “Woah, big boy.” Is all you could get out before he was shoving your head into the pillows.

You felt his heavy cock against your ass, König dragged his boxer all the way down his legs and kicking them to somewhere in the room. You tried coming back up for air but was shoved down again followed by a serious of growling coming from König.

He gripped his cock, running it up and down your glistening folds. Making your hips buck forward anytime it caught on your sensitive clit. You tried looking back to get a good look at his cock but stopped when König growled out at you, a warning if you could call it that.

After lining himself up with your entrance, he began slowly pushing himself in. The stretch knocking the air from your lungs. All you could do was grip and claw at the blankets. A whine caught in your throat, making it way up to the surface. König pulled out a tad bit before he was pushing himself in again, inch by aching inch. He didn’t stop until he was mostly sheathed inside but leaving his knot out. Stopping to catch his breath and for the whine to rip out from your throat.

You tried wiggling your hips a little, to help with the odd angle. König’s hands came down on your ass, loud and stinging. Causing you to yelp and push forward, König cock slipping out a tad bit. But he was quick to follow, bullying his cock back into your sensitive and too tight of hole.

“König, please. It’s too much.” your muffled voice could barely be heard. But he still heard you, inhaling a deep breath before he began pumping in and out of you. Slow and deep but the more he rolled his hips into you the faster they became. His grip on your hips became bruising. You could feel the slight bulb of his knot, it was trying to make its way inside.

The force of his thrusts causing you to fall even more forward in the blankets, until your stomach was completely flush to the ground. König thighs anchored for leverage on either side of you. His heels digging into the ground. The Beast was fucking you just like you should be, like a bitch in heat. Breeding you like an Alpha should breed an Omega. Wishing he was in his true form but this human suit will do for now.

Your pussy was taking him so well, swallowing and squeezing his length. Gripping onto his cock, trying to hold it in place. At this point you were seeing stars, head spinning and mouth dry. Nothing but gasps, whimpered and moans leaving your mouth. You tried to push back on him a bit but he only grabbed your hand and held it to your lower back. Using it as an anchor to you, his grip on your hips loosened and using his other hand to rest near your head. Your mouth found his wrist, sucking on it lightly. König took the opportunity to shove his fingers in your mouth, making you suck them, tasting yourself.

König adjusted his position, resting on his feet instead of his knees. Using all his force to pound into you. Rutting his cock deep, hitting your poor cervix over and over. If you weren’t so turned on and in a bliss you would have noticed the building pain setting into your uterus. But you didn’t want it to stop. Pushing you hips back to meet König’s eager thrusts.

König pulled out, leaning back on his heels, flipping you around and pulling you to his cock. You sucked in so much air, filling your aching lungs. You were happy to not be face down anymore. Finally having a good view of the giant Alpha in front of you. König lifted your ass up and over his knees, still leaning back on his heels. Lining himself up again and pushing inside. Using your whole body to shove down on his cock. You got s good look at his size, you didn’t know how to fit inside you. The girth alone making you shake with panic.

You were squeezing him so tight, your pussy trying to milk him dry. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer. You looked up into his eyes, your own glassy and hazy. And his, well his were completely black. It scared you a bit, taking you off guard. Which only made your pussy squeeze him even more. All the animalistic noises coming from his chest. It sounded like a pack of dogs trying to break out. You reached up and held onto his face. Causing König to relax a bit, he let go of your aching hips and leaned over you. Using his own hips to push yours further over you. His mouth found yours, all teeth, nipping and licking.

His kisses were messy and sloppy, his eyes shut closed hard. Causing small wrinkles to form across his face. All you could do is hold on, while König pounded you into the floor.

König wasn’t going to last long, The Beast began to tire. His movements became a tad sloppy, he was so close. Gripping onto the floor, using it to help thrust into you harder. Your legs were shaking, and your muscles pleading for a break. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” It was the first time he spoke since he began eating your pussy. The Beast resided back into his mind, allowing König to finish the job. And it didn’t take long.

He nearly forgot about you under him, his orgasm hitting him like a sack of bricks. Popping his knot fully inside you for the first time. You could feel it inflating and plugged your hole. He leaned his head back, letting it wash over him. A growl ripped from his throat, deep and guttural. Causing the windows and doors to shake. His seed was hot as it flooded you, König was still slowly rolling his hips, chasing his high. His knot blocking any cum from leaking out, making sure it soaks into your womb.

His nose found your neck, sniffing in your scent. His tongue dragging over the scar, teasing the sensitive skin around it. You ran your fingers up and down his back, feeling every bulge of muscle. König let his teeth sink into your scar, opening it up again. It caused his own to tingle and burn. Fully bonding you together. He let his head completely fall, resting against the soft blankets below you. You still cling onto him, his cock buried to the hilt inside of you. His knot solid as a rock, not letting up one but.

Your slowly drew circles on his back, until you became overpowered by exhaustion and sleep. Letting your eyes close and your mind going blank.

König felt you drift off to sleep below him, his knot softening enough for him to pull out of you. He didn’t want any of his cum to go to waste. He moved you over in the nest, pulling the warm covers over your sleeping naked body. He rose from his feet and went to take a quick shower. Returning in nothing but a towel to dry his body off. Leaving his hair wet as he climbed back into the nest with you. Pulling you into his chest, the low pur that your like so much reverberating in the quiet room.

Days with König were long, you found yourself spending most days alone. You caught up on all your shows over the week you had off from work. You even read a few books. But none of that sated your desire to do something. When König was home he’d have you on your back with your legs around his shoulders. Making sure to service you anytime he could.

You enjoyed it but it got tiring fast. He wouldn’t let you leave but you had no intentions on it. After the first night in bed together, your first peak at The Beast. König apologized in the morning, running a hot bath for you to enjoy while he made breakfast. He tried so hard to keep him at bay but he took over which was alarming to him.

Unbeknownst to you König had your dingy little apartment packed up, and he broke your lease. Moving what he could into a storage unit for you to go through later and getting rid of the rest. He also took it upon himself to call up for place of work and put in your resignation letter. He saw no need for you to work, he made enough money to keep both of you happy.

All while you were tucked away in the penthouse. When you woke the next morning you found the place as clean as when you first walked in. Again it made your skin crawl, it didn’t feel like a home. You stayed away from the windows as the look down made your stomach roll. Most days when König arrived back home he’d find every curtain drawn closed.

He was giving you time to adjust, to get comfortable in your new space. You still weren’t allowed on the other side of the house. He kept all the doors locked, specially his office. After waking in the middle of the night a few days into your heat. You heard a few voices coming from that room,you could smell the scent they left when they walked in.

By now your heat was nearly gone, and you were feeling almost back to normal. You were eager to go back to work the next morning. You sat in the livingroom, watching another rerun of your favourite show. Waiting for König to arrive from where ever he leaves to. You didn't know much about him, he didn't talk about himself a lot. Any question you did have were met with vaugr short word answers. You guessed it was for the better.

It was very late into the night when König finally got home. Hearing the door open and click closed. Followed by his heavy footsteps and his delicious sent wafting into the penthouse. "What are you still doing up?" his accent was thick tonight. "I was waiting for you." you said while yawning, stretching you arms out. "Well wasn't that sweet of you." König came to the couch, picking you up and setting you in his lap.

"I wanted to talk." you were playing with his necklace he wore, dog tags, he called him once. "About?" König stopped your fidgeting hand and brought it to his mouth, giving each finger a little kiss. "Well tomorrows my first day back to work. And you still haven't replaced my phone. I've already been stressing about all the missed calls and emails I've been-" you began but were cut off. "Your not going back to work." he said it so casual, taking interest in the dumb show you were watching instead of what you were saying.

He felt you still in his arms, looking down to see you glaring at him. "What?" he asked. "I'm going back to work." was all you said. König rolled his eyes, he hated when you picked fights. And you did it often, over small things he found irrelevant. "I said no, Omega. Plus I already let them know." he tried to play with you hair but was met with a slap to his hand. "You what!" you pushed yourself off of him, shoving his hands away that tired to stop you. "Please tell me you joking. Haha, funny!" you were panicking now.

Pacing back and forth in front of him. Your scent turned sour and it stung König's nostrils. "You don't need to work love." he tried to stop you, to make you sit but you kept moving just out of his reach. "I can't believe this." you threw your hands in the air. "And you didn't even answer the question about my phone." you pointed at him. "It's on the way, don't worry about it." he didn't understand your reaction.

You should be happy that you didn't have to work, he's your Alpha, he's supposed to take care of you. "König, you can't just change my whole life without telling me." you stood in his way, blocking his view of the TV. "I guess this is a bad time to tell you that I broke your lease." he knew it was a bad time but better than later. "What!" you screamed. You hands coming out to try and hit him but he just grabbed you and oulled your skirming body into his. "It's good Omega." he was trying to calm you down, releasing the our from his chest. "Oh no you don't." you managed to break free. "Your crazy, fucking crazy. How could you think that was ok to do, and not tell me." you were fuming. "I did tell you-" he tried to explain. "Shut up." you yelled back.

You stormed off towards the hallway that led to your bedroom. König got up, leaving the TV playing as he followed you like a lost pup. Before he could make his way to the bedroom you slammed the door in his face, turning the lock quick. König sighed in frustration, knowing that it was going to be a long night. And all he wanted to do was cuddle and maybe play with your pussy a bit. But now he's sitting outside his bedroom door, like a dog thrown out.

Tag list: @plumdreadful @traumaramacenter @kaylp-godly @napalmfairy7 @hisa-plush @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @winters-doll @joyfulfxckery @purebeskar @collete25 @fandomsinthegalaxies

#cod mw2 #könig #könig mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig cod #alpha könig #konig x reader #konig x you #könig x you #könig x reader #König x female reader #konig x female reader #a/b/o dynamics

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beaniegaebie · 7 months

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i don't really have any solid conclusions about this yet but i noticed A Thing in a rewatch and i haven't found it mentioned elsewhere yet so here we go

(apologies for the appalling image quality you're about to see, i can't screenshot easily rn pls bear with)

OKAY so in the scene where crowley confronts gabriel about "shut up and die", something about the arrangement of book stacks caught my eye a little

the majority of the books are angled so that we mostly just see the page edges and not the spines clearly, EXCEPT for a particularly shiny and familiar colour combo right here-

but nothing too weird going on there, i thought, crowley coloured books in a bookshop so what? right up until i registered crowley's line when we get a closer look-

hhhhmmmmMMmmmm yes yes "everything just the way you wanted" huh, very interesting considering that we know how much thought goes into props huh

and for most of the shots we get of crowley in this position those freaking books are just quietly nestled right there in the corner-

look at that god damn framing i fuckin see you, you glorious bastards

so i paused to see if i could figure out what the hell was up with those fuckers and this is when i absolutely lost my mind, your honour

A and C you say?? in crowley colours???? framed like this?????? localised entirely within your kitchen???

anyway long story short they're two books from an Agatha Christie Crime Collection set (24 volumes, three stories per volume) and guess whats on the mfing front covers I'm-

(its a rant for another post but when paired with this other set of initials spotted in s2 i want to scream actually)

ANYWAY back to the books, through an absolutely unhinged comparison of the formatting of gold text blobs i reckon the two we have here are:

(on top) The Pale Horse; The Big Four, The Secret Adversary

(on bottom) 4:50 From Paddington, Lord Edgeware Dies, Murder in Mesopotamia

(I'm fairly confident but if anyone has a better image to confirm/correct this pls do)

now here is where I'll need a bunch of help from some Christie-heads out there bc I haven't read any of these and I've only seen the tv adaptation of one of them, so i dont know for sure if these are like A Clue, or A Cool Thing, or if I've just fully brainrotted myself into a fun lil corner here? wa-hoo

but here's some initial stuff that jumped out at me after skimming the basics:

(some of) the titles: Pale Horse/Big Four - death's horse ofc, the four horsemen mayb? the them+adam?? ; Mesopotamia is a very biblical choice bbz ; 4:50 From Paddington- azi likes trains i guess? idk that one's tenuous lmao ; honestly no idea with the other two but Secret Adversary feels a tad ominous

iirc Big Four just has kind of an unusual history, it was initially twelve short stories that she later compiled into one, and it was published fairly soon after christie's mysterious disappearance/reappearance

in Big Four, poirot fakes his death at one point and doesnt even let hastings in on it and I'm hoping sure its totally irrelevant to the ineffable bois

part of the Pale Horse story is a group of assassins that basically try to pass off all their murders as being actually caused by like ✨satanic powers✨ which is interesting

christie knew a fUCkton about poisonings thats why she wrote so many into her work and, while i don't believe the poison coffee theory myself, it sure is an interesting link with how cyanide is associated with almond smell/flavour and that metatron chooses almond syrup in particular

(ALSO random side note that is mostly meaningless but I've worked in a good few uk coffee shops and have never worked anywhere that stocks almond syrup; almond milk yes, hazelnut syrup yes, but never almond syrup...? prob just the places i worked though lmao)

EDIT forgotten point: I've seen some speculation that the bently's plate reading "CURTAIN" could be a reference to poirot's last story, along side that alternate scene of crowley ordering the sherry for "miss marple", its just one too many agatha christie references for my melted brain to handle and I'm SUS

so this is where i run out of idea steam and hand it over to you lot because i have no clue what this could mean, if it even means anything other than a cool set feature

is there something here actually or am i yelling into the void just for fun?

who knows, who cares!

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens meta #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #agatha christie #hercule poirot #miss marple #can't wait to hear y'alls thoughts #SO WHY IS THERE A KNIFE THROUGH THE 'A' HUH #AND WHY IS THE 'C' ON THE CHALKBOARD SO FADED HMMM #GAIMAN EXPLAIN #things that make me go ngkk

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

Note

Okay so-- i was reading some sagau posts and came across this one where the reader was an army vet and my brain just Did Its Thing--

So now I'm here to inflict this on to you--

Would guns be considered as catalysts. And would they only do Phys Damage.

Me reading this ask:

😶 😐 🤨 🧐 🧐 😰 🥲 😭😭😭 💀

STOP YOU'VE INFLICTED ME WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL DMG FROM THIS ASK 😭

(Also srry took so long to respond, when i didnt realize how short this was/was just sitting over here 😓)

^ For the sake of gun imagery being a lot/maybe staff might hate me for it,

we'll put this gay shit instead (i almost mispelled to "gay shot" lmao)

☆

Sun: Army Veteran Reader, Gender neutral Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: SHORT Headcanons

Stars: everybody bc i think itd be funny

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: gun stuff, mild violence, mild cursing & Trigger Warnings: Gun fun everywhere

THIS ASK HAS ME GIGGLING TO MYSELF LIKE A MANIAC

You're out here having a whole gun they let you take for off-base

And u ofc have a license so u can conceal carry

(idk how non-american gun laws work, but tbh ours are so fucked idk how they work here either, just that an army guy i knew once could have his gun when he got back home)

And ofc ur just paranoid enough (more like it just makes u feel safe)

That when u get yoinked into a portal to a silly little brightly colored gacha game fantasy world, the gun comes with 💀

Id like to add in my silly little "ur in a video game, so video game rules" AU version of genshin so:

The only other gun (ish) wielder (Mika) has unlimited bolts

Sooo I'd think your gun would be the same jfc lol

NO BC YOUD SCARE THE ACTUAL SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE IN UR VICINITY IN A BATTLE

BC GUNSHOTS ARE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF LOUD

When u first stumble into abyss monsters/hostile creatures of the realm, u nearly scare off a Lawlachurl bc every shot's like thunder to these bitches😭

So not only the monsters but the vision holders think u fucking summoned lightning

OMG THE BULLETS ARE SO FAST THEYD PROBABLY NOT SEE IT

ESP BC DISTRACTED BY GUNSHOT LOUDNESS

SO U AIM THIS LITTLE BLACK CROSSBOW (???) AND THINGS JUST DIE (OR GET RIDDLED WITH HOLES) WITH NO CLEAR ARROW STICKING OUT

STOPP- you're becoming a witchy god or smth to all of Teyvat bc it just looks like hella high level magic atp to them LMAOOO

Rumors of you get out of hand and say u just point or snap ur fingers and things get wounded/just die on the spot 💀

Oh another difference between Teyvatians seeing ur gun vs. crossbow (what they know)

Is that guns are wayyyy more destructive

Like an arrow would get shot but it'd bounce off of things like rock or wood or metal, maybe dent a little depending on how close

But a bullet goes thru that shit so easy, and leaves a whole little explosion behind, once again depending on range

(I once saw a Mythbusters episode? of them proving bullets would definitely go thru car doors, like movies lied to u, this is why drive-bys acc work like for gangs)

Lmao, the image of you in like full armor with a Teyvat made automatic gun after showing it to blacksmiths

Makes u just more convincing as a god, esp bc military training

(Ppl like Gorou and Kokomi begging for military tactics/training ur world has done)

...

....Ok.

I'll address it.

But only so u dont think im stupid later.

Yes, the Fatui have guns.

No, this not the same as having a glock LMAO

End of story.

(Also, urs runs on bullets, whereas the Fatui rely on magic/delusions to power theirs, plus they dont seem as fast or destructive as urs, more "explosions aimed at you" than real bullets)

Which,,, u leave the managing of ppl copying ur gun to ppl like the Qixing or smth, but make sure to give them advice on good gun laws if teyvat accidentally revolutionizes bc of ur advanced gun that anybody can wield (non-vision users)

Thats the best ive got abt that

Oh, also enjoy being praised as a War god now.

☆

... dammit i had smth i was gonna tell u guys-

Uh what tf was it, it was important

Next post is the Eldritch God Oneshot! Look out for it :) !!

☆

Safe Travels Kid,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

#lookie i made my first border image guys!! 🥺#a little rough but eh #i used a stock image and then added that little moon #also this gun shit takes me out i could write just a whole crack oneshot abt ending up in teyvat with a gun lmao #genshin sagau #genshin impact #sagau #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #my asks #gender neutral reader #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin #✨️forgot all my tags again✨️#uh #genshin harem #i mean what #genshin x reader

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tsukimefuku · 6 months

Text

The Event (Part 1)

This is an older version of this. The current one can be found linked on the masterlist.

You find yourself entangled with Nanami in his apartment, and worry where this might be going.

Tags: +18 (!!!), WITH PLOT (there is always a plot), Jujutsu Kaisen, SMUT, f!reader, Nanami x reader, alcohol consumption, they're clearly in love, fingering, bj, penetration, a little angst, some fluff, hurt + comfort.

WC: 5.2K

Theme song (?): Want me too - Mons Vi (on Youtube)

Hope you guys enjoy my filth, yet again. This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU", a sequence of short stories and random drabbles for a Nanami x f!reader x Higuruma fanfic I'll eventually write (eventually). This is preceded specially by "Would you let me die?", here, and "Where does your mind drift", here. It comes before “The man who played with fire”. To see the ever-growing list of one-shots, please visit my masterlist :)

Disclaimer: these one-shots are NOT written and posted in chronological order of events. To see where this story fits in the timeline, please check the masterlist mentioned above.

“I've been fooled twice and again

Flowers dying that I send

But I want you

I want you

I want you to want me, too”

— Want me too, Mons Vi

You were pressed against the wall of his apartment, and Nanami's insistent hands on your waist were doing the pressing, while you fidgeted around his shoulders to remove his suit jacket. You both had locked lips and tongues to each other, and you couldn't remember another time in your life you had been this breathless while kissing someone. That boulder of a man and the heat of his body sent all your senses spiraling as you finished taking his suit jacket off and tugged his shirt to pull him even closer — something that was clearly impossible, given you were both already glued to one another.

Then, you tried to remember how the fuck the both of you wound up in this situation.

***

"Nanami..." you hiccuped, "you're d-drunk!" Lowering your beer mug on the bar counter, you pointed at him, accusingly. "C-completely hammered."

"Is..." Nanami took a moment to realize he had his eyes closed for a few seconds. Were it seconds? He opened them, as if that would help him with the drunken vertigo. It just made the situation worse. "... That so?"

"You're talking so damn slow, and you had your eyes closed for like a whole minute. Dude, you're so-" you hiccuped again, taking another gulp of beer, completely forgetting what you were about to say.

Somewhat amused at how you simply never finished the sentence, he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, trying to ground himself. Nanami didn't recall the last time he got this completely boozed up. Both of you were pretty strong when it came to alcohol, but tonight, you two maybe went a little too overboard. "You don't seem to be fending off so well..." He stretched his last word, feeling a little dizzy, "... Either."

"Is this a competition, Nanami? ... I'll win!" You declared, bottoming out your beer mug, making a pretty huge effort to put it back on the counter without breaking the glass. "... Do I want to win this-"

The barman looked at you two. "We're closing. Can I get you guys some water?"

Oh, that was why you were both so banged up. You had been talking and drinking nonstop for hours without eating anything.

"Holy shit, Nanami, we've been drinking for five hours?" You asked him, stunned. He answered nothing, having his eyes shut again, head dangling back, while he leaned on the chair. How does he keep sleeping while seated? This is so bizarre. You grabbed his arm and shook it lightly, and Nanami was pulled awake.

"We need to pay for the drinks, sir." He said to the barman, much to the barman's worry.

"I'll... Get your check, and some water for the both of you, okay?"

You both nodded, like puzzled kids.

After paying (with a lot of effort), you and Nanami walked outside, just to realize basically every joint was closing, and that it was raining. No, raining wasn't the most adequate word for it. It was absolutely pouring.

"Shit, I'm never getting home like this." You complained, as Nanami fidgeted with a small umbrella he somehow had on him. Considering he easily walked around with his blunt blade underneath his suit jacket, carrying this must've been quite easy.

"How did you know?" You asked, pointing at the umbrella.

"I always check the forecast before leaving my apartment." He answered, still fumbling with the thing. Of course he does. You took the umbrella from Nanami's hands and opened it, giving it back to him.

"Hey, Nanami... Do you live nearby?"

He started to look around, pondering for a moment, until he could locate exactly where the both of you were. "I... do, actually." He paused, realizing he had his posture crooked, fixing it. "It's a 20-minute walk from here."

You thought for a moment. "Can I-" hiccup, "come over and wait for the rain-" hiccup, "to pass?"

"Yes..." He blinked slowly, still processing the words on his mind. "Of course."

As he held the umbrella on his right side, you intertwined your arm to his, pushing yourself closer, so the two would fit under the tiny thing. However, given the fact that the both of you were considerably tall, and that he was specially broad, that didn't work so well, leaving each with some shoulder exposed to the unforgiving weather.

Nanami sighed slowly. "We will get completely drenched."

You scoffed. "No, we won't, and if we do, it will help us sober the hell up. Come on."

***

Feeling less under the influence after a walk in the rain and cold, Nanami took his keys and opened the door, letting you in. He noted you were both somewhat damp while taking your shoes off, but not completely soaked in water as he'd expected. He flipped the lights on, and then, you could see the inside of his apartment — something you, not so proudly, used to wonder about from time to time.

It had mostly light colors with warm tones to the furniture. He had two bookcases completely filled with books that seemed to be organized in a pretty specific and convoluted way. They neatly met together on each shelf. He had an armchair, and above it was a greenish type of light fixture for reading. The windows were incredible, and provided a great view of Tokyo. The kitchen was on the opposite side of the sofa, and it was an open-type of kitchen, where someone from the living room could see all of it. It was an impeccably clean and well-maintained place, and if this wasn't Nanami, you'd probably think it belonged to a serial killer, given how it was extremely tidy, to a clearly obsessive length. You felt you were dirtying the apartment just by looking at it.

"Um... Where can I sit?" You asked, hesitantly. He pointed to one of the chairs at the dining table, and you promptly sat there, trying not to move too much and spread water around the place.

You started to slide your hand through your hair, just to realize it was quite wet. He noticed, and went inside his room for a minute, coming back with a blue towel, giving it to you. Taking the towel from his hands, you shuffled it around your head, drying whatever you could. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Nanami replied, sitting down on the edge of his sofa and removing his tie calmly. He folded it a couple of times before putting the tie over the sofa's arm.

"So, how are you feeling? You look more sober." You said. He did, actually. You noticed his usually neat, perfectly aligned hair had some locks over his forehead, probably due to the rain. His blue shirt was slightly damp, and his pants, just under his knees, had definitely seen better days.

"I feel more alert, yes. And the vertigo has stopped, thankfully. Although I'm still quite inebriated." Nanami replied, as he leaned back on the cushions crossing his legs, and you noticed the slightest hint of imbalance. "What is your status?"

"I'm sobering up a little. But I'm still pretty fucked, though." You answered, chuckling while you rested the towel over your lap. "I'll definitely regret this tomorrow."

He huffed, amused. "I will too, probably."

You were both silent for a moment, while the pouring rain filled the ambiance. It had eased out, but was still pretty heavy.

"Nanami..." You began.

"Yes?" He braced himself. He knew some complicated question or contemplation was just about to be thrown at him. Nanami had noticed for a while now that you liked to think out loud and chat about your ruminations.

"Remember when I asked you to let me die if it would save somebody else, and you refused?" You questioned, starting to probe him.

Strangely, it didn't annoy him at all, especially after the conversation you both shared when you were stranded with Ijichi by the mountains. He thought at the time you made that request, he'd like to go back to it, eventually. "Yes, I do recall that." Nanami answered.

"Why did you- I mean, we're supposed to-" Talking about this was hard, and being still somewhat drunk made the task nearly impossible. Gladly, he already knew what you wanted to go on about.

"I don't want you to die. You see, even with your antics," he began, "you have become an important person in my life. As jujutsu sorcerers, that unfortunately is hard to come by and stay. You..." He paused for a second. "You stayed, and I'd like to keep it that way."

You were slightly surprised, given you expected from Nanami some sort of less straight-forward declaration about the importance and relevance of people in his life. It must've been the alcohol, you thought.

"Why did you request that from me, in particular?" He inquired.

"Because you know me better than anyone currently in my life," you blurted out, "and I knew you'd not take it like... I don't know. I just knew you'd understand where I was coming from, especially having been by my side when-" You choked up and couldn't finish the sentence. He knew, he remembered clearly what transpired ten years ago in your hometown, one of his most significant missions. You weren't aware of it, but even after the conversation you had years ago, he still blamed himself to some degree.

"You know me well, too. So how did you arrive at the conclusion that I would agree to such a request?" Nanami questioned, curious eyes glancing at you.

"You're such a dutiful and respectful person. A decent one, too. Especially regarding other people's wishes, when it's within your powers to honor them. So I thought you'd agree to it." You confessed, shrugging.

He sighed. "I'm not a hero, I'm a jujutsu sorcerer. I came back because out of the two stupid things I could do, this was the one I was better suited for."

"You see, I think that's bullshit." You said, finally confronting him on this ready-to-go speech Nanami had most of the time. He was a bit surprised. You continued. "I know you care underneath that facade. Hell, I think I can actually say I know you, Mr. Bangs — yes, I remember them. We go way back, so don't try to preach to the choir. You're someone actually worried about saving people and doing good deeds in this dirty world of jujutsu."

The corner of his mouth stretched a little, and he seemed to be almost smiling. However, his expression was still blank enough to make his surge of warmth and fluttering unnoticeable. "If you knew that, then why did you believe I'd oblige to such a request?" He was still under the influence, and in normal circumstances, wouldn't be tap dancing dangerously around this boundary like he was right now.

You blushed and looked away as you began to answer him. "I just... Believed your 'preaching' for a second, I guess."

"I see." He answered, still looking at your face, thinking how lovely you looked when you blushe- No, stop it, he thought to himself. You noticed his eyes staring at you in a way that remembered the conversation you had while stranded some days prior.

“Is your mind drifting, Nanami?” You inquired, playfully. Looking at him to wait for an answer, your eyes locked onto his prominent jaw and chiseled face, and you wanted to rub your own face on his until you got cuts on your ski- Get a hold of yourself, woman, you mentally chastised yourself.

He didn’t fail to notice it, too. Rather than feeling embarrassed at being caught red-handed, daydreaming of you, he threw the ball right back at you. “Is yours?”

You promptly looked away, yet again, heart skipping beats as you tried to keep yourself under control. Then, you noticed through the window that the rain had finally subsided.

Time to run before you went past the point of no return.

"Nanami, the rain is gone. I guess this is my cue." You said, hastily getting up. You were nervous, and having him probing you — not the other way around — was pushing all of your buttons in ways you were not prepared for. Furthermore, you were the type to make other people uncomfortable through joking and blunt sincerity, just so no one couldn't do it to you first. But with Nanami, after so much time, you had become vulnerable, something that scared the living shit out of you. You just knew Nanami was a decent and good man who'd never take advantage of this, and on top of that, you kind of owed the fact you were still alive to him.

He seemed a little disappointed, his expression less indecipherable than before. "I understand. Well..." He said as he got up. "Return safely."

You approached him to say goodbye, and your senses — as well as your common sense — dulled as you felt his perfume, now evaporating along with the water from his clothes. "Bye, then." You said, suddenly planting a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Instead of retreating, as he normally would in a situation like this, Nanami closed his eyes and leaned his face to press your lips harder against his face, letting out a deep sigh of satisfaction that sent chills down his body. You inhaled him in, and before you knew, he was sliding down his own face, brushing his cheeks against your mouth intently, until his lips met yours. He let out a soft low groan as they made contact, and one of his hands made its way to your back, effectively pulling you into his warmth.

That was the moment you lost any willpower to get out of this unscathed, and you threw your arms around his head, which stole a light gasp from him. You used this opportunity to press your tongue inside his mouth, and his own tongue came to entangle with yours. Nanami grabbed you by your waist and pushed you against the wall, starting to pant lightly while the both of you were locked in a passionate kiss, ready to wash away the last ten years.

Oh, yeah. That's how this started.

He had his body pressed against yours, and you both did not dare to part the kiss or open your eyes, for you knew the moment you did, one or the other would pull the both of you back to the reality of how much of a bad idea this was. Not only were you and Nanami colleagues, but you effectively worked together on missions. On top of that, this wasn’t just a one-night stand or a random hook up, it was pretty well established you had feelings for each other, and some complicated unresolved issues. Things that having drunken sex usually tends to make even more chaotic.

Suddenly, he rubbed his hips against yours just the right way, and you felt his throbbing erection pressed against you. You moaned loudly against his lips, open-mouthed and tongues grinding each other. Your moan made him press his mouth against yours to a closed kiss, and all the hairs on his arm and neck propped up with a shiver. Nanami went still, and the lack of mindless friction against his body brought you back to Earth for a split second.

“I’m leaving/Please leave” you both said at the same time, as he jumped back, sitting haphazardly over the sofa’s arm and tried — without much success — to cover his hardened length with his closed fist, looking away with a completely flushed and vermilion face. I should consider quitting alcohol, was the idea he entertained.

Panting frantically, you ran to the door, snatched your shoes from the entrance without even putting them on, and got out, letting it close behind you. You tried to catch your breath while hunched over, and evening out your breathing was being much harder than you thought, though you figured it could be from your heart racing and throbbing against your chest insistently. There was a ringing in your ears that you wanted to wait out until leaving the building, and so you stood there, right outside his apartment, for some minutes. However, while trying to pull yourself together, you noticed something.

You never heard the door locking.

I want him, I’ve wanted him for so long now, and he wants me too. What am I doing out here? I’m seeing this through to the end, you thought to yourself, with liquor-bought courage, resting your hand on the door knob. Pushing your body while you tried to silence every anxiety and impression that this was a bad idea, you entered the apartment again, to find Nanami sitting at the edge of his bed, beads of sweat on his forehead, as he incredulously and eagerly lifted his gaze to glance at you. You felt you must’ve looked desperate, and simmering under his slightly vacant stare, he seemed desperate too, clutching his fist on the mattress strongly enough to deform it a little.

“You… never locked your door” you remarked, removing your coat.

“I… did not.” He answered. “More specifically, I couldn’t find the strength to do so.”

Nanami seemed to have reached the same conclusion you did when you were given time to think by yourself outside.

Starting to walk towards him, you removed your socks, then started to unbutton your shirt, and he seemed hypnotized, following your stride with needy eyes. You let your shirt fall back, sliding over your arms until it hit the ground. Standing right in front of him, you put your hands together to unbutton your pants, and he held your hands in place, hesitantly.

You were resolute, but he seemed to still be swaying between what to (not) do.

“I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long. I… please…” you pleaded, barely brushing the side of your face against his, sending electricity all throughout his body. “I know you want me too.” You brushed the tip of your nose delicately over his chiseled cheekbone, to look him in the eyes.

Sighing deeply with his eyes closed, he finally opened them, and put his own nose right beside yours, making it possible for you to feel his breathing, lips nearly touching. “I do.”

You immediately kissed him, and it was different this time. The feeling wasn’t so urgent, but your lips locked deeply and intensely. He caressed the side of your hair with his fingertips, sliding his index finger around the edge of your ear, sending chills down your spine. Nanami then put his hands, one to each side of your hips, and guided you delicately to sit beside him on the bed. After that, he slid himself further back on the mattress, and you followed along.

As you both were in the middle of the bed, he rested his palm on your chest, pushing you softly to lie down, with his honeyed eyes still locked to yours. Every touch he made was so intent you felt your body shiver, like this was the first time you were ever touched by another person. To call Nanami an intense lover would be an understatement.

Lying down slowly, you gazed up at him, feeling your face searing hot as you did. This man was so goddamn handsome, and the way he looked at you nearly knocked the air out of your lungs.

His hands traveled between your breasts, down your abdomen, and reached the edge of your pants, unzipping you and pushing them as well as your underwear to your mid-thighs. Still looking at you, analyzing your each and every facial expression, Nanami started to slide one of his hands to where your already drenched underwear was previously. You felt somewhat embarrassed to be already that wet from some kissing and grinding, but oh, well. He apparently had that effect on you.

As his fingers reached your dripping folds, his eyes widened a little, and his expression was kind of… amused? “Oh.”

Your face blushed even harder. “I… You… We were and-“

“You want me that intensely?” Nanami said, touching his forehead to yours, nose side by side.

“I… do. Please.” You answered, a little defeated.

He rubbed his lips against yours, and sighed, seemingly fluttering. “Then have me. Have all of me.” He pressed his tongue against your mouth, and you let him in, at the same time his fingers started to rub against your core. You mewled into his mouth, rolling your eyes back, and propping your hands to hold the nape of his head. He was softly grinding himself to the side of your body, searching for any relief to this throbbing clothed erection.

He rubbed his middle finger to your clit, and the others rolled your outer folds in, pinching them delicately. As you mewled and moaned into his mouth, he let out satisfied groans, trying to hold himself together as you fell apart to his touch. The sounds you made being under his will were just exquisite.

You started to grind your pussy against his hand, and attentively, he applied more pressure with his fingers over your nub, eliciting a loud and powerful moan from you, as you pushed full force your lips on his. His body trembled, and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to stop doing this to you right now without going mad if you, by any chance, changed your mind about this whole endeavor.

Rocking your hips back and forth, you started to feel the heat pooling on your lower abdomen, tugging at his shirt urgently and desperately. He noticed it, and parted his lips from yours, keeping a small distance between your faces so he could watch you crumbling down in real time. You were completely debauched, flustered and messy. His heart throbbed in his chest, as he had never seen you look so beautiful as you did at this very moment. He could still smell the flowery scent from your hair, now mixed with your breath and sweat. It was heavenly.

Bubbling up and all throughout your body, you came onto his hands nearly yelling out of sheer pleasure, saying his name, and with your hands to the back of his neck, pressed your nails so deep into Nanami’s skin it almost drew blood. He huffed, delighted, as you quivered and convulsed underneath him. Nanami wanted to ask you to stay and not leave ever again.

Riding out your high, you pulled his face closer, planting a soft kiss on his lips.

Then, you moved your hand smoothly down his chest and abdomen until you reached the outline of his cock underneath his pants. You grabbed it firmly, and he let out a choked grunt from the back of his throat, launching his head back and pumping his girth involuntarily against your touch. You smiled.

“And you want me too, that badly?”

“I do.” He replied, pulling his hand up from your folds and tasting you from his fingers, while he looked straight at you. You saw his eyes half lidded as he tasted it. Sighing at the sight of that, you thought for a moment you came a little just from it.

You pushed him back on the bed with your hands and slowly began to unbutton the rest of his signature blue shirt, removing it, and straddling yourself on top of his hips. Your pussy was pressed over his cock, and he put both of his hands firmly over your thighs, grinding up, grunting as he did. The motion, after you became so sensitive, had you seeing stars and sparkles in the back of your eyes. Letting out a mixture of a huff and a chuckle, you basked in the vision you had in front of you, and slid down your hands to open his pants. You did, and removed them until they fell on the floor.

Suddenly, you gave a lick on his abs, and he shivered, letting out a faint moan. You made your way with your tongue slowly down his body, planting a few kisses until you got there. His cock was extremely hard, the tip was red and already leaking. Your mouth watered at that sight to behold.

Nanami suddenly put his hand on your cheek, and you looked at him. His face was flustered, his hair had already fallen completely out of its usual slick arrangement, and the needy look on this man’s face sent a wave of heat down your back.

“I don’t want to alarm you, but I’m… Extremely wound up.” He confessed, a little embarrassed. “If by any chance this becomes too much, tell me to stop.”

You smiled at him. “I won’t. Have all of me, too.”

His gaze deepened as your tongue made its way to his tip, glazing it with saliva. He immediately grabbed your hair and let out a strained moan, launching his head to the pillow underneath it. You swallowed his length, inch by inch, careful not to choke ahead of time. You noticed him squirming his hips underneath you, probably holding himself from bucking upwards full force.

Once you had taken him all in, you positioned yourself the most comfortable way and started to encouragingly press your hands on the sides of his hips, for him to pump his cock inside your mouth.

Still tightly — though not bruisingly — holding onto your hair, he asked, “are you sure?”

“Mm-Hmm”, was all you got out, with that massive cock inside your mouth. He started off slow, grinding the back of his cock to your tongue, gravely groans filling the room. As you seemed to be taking it well, his pace picked up, and his tip began hitting the back of your throat, deliciously choking you, as a few tears bubbled up in your eyes.

You were moaning to the taste and sound of Nanami, and your moaning seemed to snap something inside of him. Nanami began thrusting into your mouth intently, and after so much build up and grinding, suddenly, came while bucking his hips sloppily, painting the back of your throat with pure white. You began drinking him all in.

When you finished, you cleaned your face with the back of your hand, slowly making your way back to him. Before you did, though, Nanami held your waist and laid you down on the sheets, climbing on top of you and kissing you passionately, moving his hands to hold the sides of your head. He let his body weight rest over you, carefully, and you sank underneath that mountainous man, sliding your nails delicately down his back. He pressed himself in between your legs, and you gasped at the sensation.

“Please…” you begged, now holding his face, looking straight into his eyes. “Please.”

He sighed, pressing a quick kiss on your lips, as he grabbed a condom from someplace you couldn’t quite make out. Nanami opened it with his teeth, and slipped it on quickly, hovering above you. He locked eyes with you again, resting his forehead against yours, and extended his hand behind your back, accidentally pressing the deep scar you had over your spine. You gasped in pain, and he retreated his hand immediately.

“I apologize, I… I…” his expression looked equally pained, with a distinct frown between his brows. “Please, forgive me.” This wasn’t an apology about current events, and it clenched your chest to see him like this. At this moment, you knew he still carried blame for what happened years ago.

“There is nothing to be forgiven, stop apologizing,” you said, holding his head against yours, eyes piercing through his. “You never failed me. Don’t apologize anymore. Please, don’t… don’t blame yourself.”

His gaze softened, and he rested one of his hands on your cheek. The touch was wholeheartedly delicate, like he was holding a flower petal, and it sent your heart thumping against your chest. You could feel a surge of words stirring up your throat, and decided to let them out.

“I love you,” you said, gazing intently into his eyes, “I love you completely.”

Nanami looked at you pleadingly, and immediately pressed his lips to yours, brushing away to all the pain the both of you had endured together and apart. Only then, did he separate his lips from yours to breathe out, “I love you too.”

At that moment, you were sure you had sunk in too deep, and there was no escaping it anymore. Not even if you were an expert at fleeing.

He positioned himself and sunk in slowly, wanting to feel as every inch made its way into you. You both shared an intense and strained moan in unison, as he bottomed out, tearing you apart slowly. There was no build up whatsoever to the coil that instantly formed in your lower abdomen, ready to snap. You stretched and clenched around him, walls fluttering, and Nanami groaned against your lips, halting any movement from his hips.

“If I move too quickly, I’ll…” he said, closing his eyes and trying to concentrate, while pressing his hands to the sides of your shoulders. You were caged in, right underneath him.

You huffed and laughed softly. “I… I know, m-me too. Let’s take it slowly…”

Nanami smiled with the corner of his lips, planting an open-mouthed kiss on your jaw and contouring your face with the tip of his nose, until your noses were beside one another. He gazed at you, glancing straight into your eyes, and you looked right back, as he started to slowly glide in and out of you, pulling entirely and bottoming completely with each movement he made. Both of you moaned and groaned into each other, as he pressed you under him from every angle possible. Your heart whirled content, and at that moment, you felt heartwarmingly held and protected by him.

His pace started to pick up, and you were babbling incoherently against his mouth. He kissed you and pressed your head against the bed with his urgent, insistent lips, while the heat pooled in your belly began sparkling, ready to burst.

“I-I’m… I…” you huffed, nearly out of breath.

He thrust into you sharply and picked up a quicker pace. With that, you let go, orgasm hitting you like an avalanche, while you trembled, twisted and turned under Nanami. He came right after, muffling an almost shout with his mouth against your puffy lips, and his hips were slowing right until the movements stopped.

Your mind was blank and your sight grew dark, as you brushed the hair over his forehead with your fingertips away, a dumb smile on your face. He caved, falling beside you, pulling you in for a hug as you two drifted away.

***

You woke up, and realized you were sleeping with your stomach down. You had no idea what time it was, but the throbbing headache was relentless enough for you to not care about it. Looking to your side on the bed, you realized Nanami was nowhere to be found.

“What…?” You asked yourself, getting up and almost falling down in the process. His phone, which was on the nightstand before, was also gone. As you walked towards the room’s door, you saw that his blunt blade was gone too, and there were some toasts and an omelet ready on the table, accompanied by an assortment of toppings. The other side of the table, however, was empty, and over your chair there was a note.

For some reason, you had a bad feeling about it.

What was that about regret the morning after?

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu nanami #nanami kento #jjk nanami #jjk fanfic #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami fluff #nanami kento fluff #nanami angst #nanami smut #jjk smut #nanami kento smut #nanami kento x reader

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bellaxgiornata · 5 months

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Honestly I cannot believe that I've been on tumblr for just over a year now and somehow there's already so many of you wonderful people here that are reading, enjoying, and supporting my silly little fics. When I jumped over here from AO3, I had not anticipated how much fun I was going to have getting to chat with all of y'all while also sharing my stories with those of you who aren't on AO3. I've definitely made some wonderful friends this past year because of tumblr and I just want to say thank you to everyone for the support. I always mean it when I say y'all are the reason I keep writing these stories 💖

I could certainly get sappier but instead I'll just invite y'all to join me for my first ever celebration! There's a few fun things below the cut that y'all can pop up with in my ask box starting today May 3 through Wednesday May 8! I tried to think of some interesting things that I could realistically make time to do with everything currently going on in my life, especially because I'm also still trying to stockpile rough drafts for many of my stories so that I can still have updates during my upcoming "writing hiatus" (that I'll explain more about later). My plan is to answer things as they come in and hopefully have them all finished shortly after the celebration ends. And once the celebration finally ends, I'm hoping to give y'all an update to a story or a one shot!

Hopefully this will be fun for everyone!

Let's Chat! - Feel free to send me an ask about anything at all! No, seriously. You want to tell me about your day? An upcoming vacation or exciting accomplishment of yours? Do it! Or maybe you want to ask me questions about one of my stories or my writing process? Hell, feel free to ask me about myself, chat about coffee, music, books, pets, whatever!

Discuss Headcanons with Me! - Have any headcanons about Matt Murdock, Frank Castle, or Michael Kinsella that you want to chat about or share with me? Send them in! Or are you interested in a headcanon I might have about one of them in a certain situation? Feel free to ask! We can chat about the boys!

Send Me Fake FFTD Installment Titles! - Create a title name for an installment for my Falling for the Devil series (ex. "The [insert title]") and I'll write a couple of sentences about what I could picture that installment being about! You win bonus points if you can actually stump me on coming up with a plot for your title. But also who knows, maybe some title suggestions could spark an idea for future updates...

Let's Play a Game! - We can play would you rather, have you ever, or fuck/marry/kiss (or kill). For the record, f/m/k can be with anyone from Daredevil, Punisher, Defenders, Kin, or even any of Charlie's characters that I'm familiar with (Matt, Michael, Owen, Henry, Tristan, or Adam) or those of Jon's that I'm familiar with (mainly Frank, Shane, or Julian). If you can think of another game feel free to play it with me!

Ask the Boys! - Do you enjoy my weird internal dialogues with fictional characters that probably make me sound crazy? Great! Feel free to send me an ask to either one or all of the fictional men that live in my head (Matt, Frank, and/or Mikey) and I'll relay whatever they respond with in something of a short internal dialogue!

Request a Sneak Peak! - Since I have been stockpiling quite a few WIPs and rough drafts for a couple of months now, I am open to y'all just requesting a sneak peak. If you do, I will share a snippet from a fic I choose at random from something that's either a fully finished rough draft or still a work in progress!

**You're more than welcome to participate multiple times, but all I ask is that you (1) send things in separate asks, (2) are not rude to me or anyone else, and (3) are 18+ to discuss anything spicy (this is an 18+ blog anyway so I'd hope everyone here already is).**

#bellas 2.5k follower celebration #ive never done one of these before!#let's have some fun!#follower celebration #matt murdock #frank castle #michael kinsella

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1moreff-creator · 1 year

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Everything We Know About Mai Akasaki + So Many Theories

AKA, me going insane over a character with exactly nine seconds of main series screen time so far. I checked.

At this point, it's probably fair to say that Mai Akasaki is by far the most mysterious aspect of DRDT. A character we only learn about in short, cryptic bouts of information, yet one which seems intrinsically linked with the series' plot and characters. We know extremely little about her, and what we do know, it's usually speculative.

However, it's still really interesting to talk about this funky little woman, and try to figure out what exactly her deal is. Join me in insanity land, as I compile everything I could find about her, and speculate on her story! I can practically guarantee that you'll learn something new.

WARNING: Insanely long post. I reached the 30 image limit, to give you an idea of how crazy this is.

Wait, Who?

Her! <3

(A lot of what I'm about to say come from this post by despairing-disaster and this one by akemiai, huge shout out to them!)

For the uninitiated, Mai Akasaki is the secret seventeenth student of the DRDT cast, hidden somehwere in this school wait no that's Mukuro. Her name can be found in the hidden quote in MonoTV's character profile, which itself is found by doing "inspect element" on said page.

Her name is Mai Akasaki

(I am such a hacker)

Typing in https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/maiakasaki (or clicking there) takes you to a pretty empty page, with this text:

All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I'll give it to you. Ask for my life, and I'll give it to you as well. Don't apologize for asking, I'll give you my forgiveness too.

As you'll see later, this quote is probably something Mai would say.

And this hidden quote:

"Are you still searching for a secret? For some explanation that will satisfy you? There's no answer I can give you that will make you happy. Maybe I should have lied instead. I'm sorry."

Note the quotes, which as far as I can tell, aren't in any of the other hidden phrases. That said, spoilers, I don’t have any idea what this means.

You may aso have noticed some highlighted letters in that first quote. Typing those in, https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/aoaviepkro, takes you to the most important page for our purposes:

(Also, you can just look it up on google nowadays)

Mai Akasaki's character profile. And yes, it's the girl Teruko remembers after being stabbed by Xander, in episode 6 of chapter 1. After that memory, Teruko thinks:

It's strange I would remember her now, of all times. What was her name again? It's on the tip of my tongue, but I can't remember. Xander always reminded me of that girl. Perhaps that's why I'm thinking about her now. They looked similar, with that same red hair and smile. And... they both wanted to help, didn't they?

Teruko and her clearly have something going on, but we'll get to it later (take a shot every time I say something like that). For now, we have to dive into the profile.

Profile of Someone Dearly Loved

Basic Info

She's listed as the "Ultimate ???", likes phone charms and dislikes silence. She's 5'8'' tall, weighing 124 lbs and with a chest sie of 30 in. I doubt anyone cares about the latter. Her birthday is February first, which you may want to keep in mind for later.

The Subtitle Quote

As every character does, Mai has a quote right under her name. In her case, "There's a way for you to be happy". Keep in mind these quotes are usually things the characters would say, and as you'll see in a moment, that fits.

However, what's interesting is that this quote was not the one originally there when Mai's page was first found. It changed. It used to be, apparently, "Anything, anything at all..."

What I don't know is when it changed, or why. The earliest reference I can find to the change is this post by stfu-sage, the 20th of March, 2023. This is just three days after the release of Ch 2 Ep 8, but that feels like quite a strange time for it to change, especially since we don’t know how many days passed without anyone checking the profile. I feel it makes more sense if it had changed either with the release of Ch 2 or with the BDA on chapter 7. Regardless, the exact time doesn’t matter much.

What do these lines mean, though? Well, starting with “Anything, anything at all”, I believe it’s related to line from the Mai Akasaki URL. You know, “All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I’ll give it to you…”, that one. When you read them together, it makes sense:

All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I'll give it to you. Ask for my life, and I’ll give it to you as well. […] [You can ask for] Anything, anything at all.

Considering the code for Mai’s profile is in the “ask for my hand” line, I think it makes sense.

Then, the changed quote, “There’s a way for you to be happy”. Considering the general time for the change, is it possible this is something Mai said to Arei, during their time at Hope's Peak? It's the best I have for now, but I feel we may need more context to know what this is about.

In any case, I can't gather much more from the subtitle quote. Although I do feel like pointing out, Mai’s quote is somewhat unique in that none of the words are highlighted. All the other characters have one or a few words highlighted (eg: Arei - secret, Teruko - no matter what), except MonoTV and Mai. Don’t think it means anything, but it’s there.

Hidden Quotes

And here we have it. The most important part of Mai theorizing. Whenever you refresh the page, a new body of text appears, which is related to a specific character via the code of the website. You can see in the screenshot I took, it says “A girl with many friends”. But here’s a full list of all the possibilities:

Teruko: Some years ago, she was searching for someone named ‘Teruko Tawaki.’ Charles: A girl who loves her family. Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others. Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone. Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm. Whit: A girl with many friends. Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up. J: She kept it a secret, and told no one. Hu: A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe. Nico: Everyone confided in her. Ace: A girl who had a bright future. Arei: She doesn’t like it when her friends fight. Min: An average girl with nothing special at all about her. Xander: She couldn’t stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences. David: She forgives everyone. MonoTV: It’s all your fault.

You may notice the order is somewhat peculiar, and it's for a good reason. It's the order the "bios" (name of the variable in the source code... I think that's how that works) are laid out in the source code of Mai's page.

... I know you can barely see and not all of them are on frame, but just trust me. If you want to check for yourself, you can go to the profile's source code (Ctrl U), and either scroll to almost the bottom, or just search (Ctrl F) for a word like "average" or "confided" which only shows up in the "bios". There's probably easier ways to go about it, but this is how I got there. I'm telling you this because it took me like an hour to find out where the hell the order came from. I am not good at computers.

However, for now, let's just ignore the order (and the tenses of the sentences, I swear I'll get there) and focus on the main points for now.

+Mai is extremely well-liked by the other members of the cast. In particular, some of the quotes compliment her based on faults the character attached to them has.

>Arturo is extremely judgemental based on ugliness, but Mai "sees the beauty in everyone".

>Charles forgot his dead brother, but Mai "loves her family".

>Rose is absentminded and often forgets things if she doesn't see them, but Mai "remembers everything that is important to others".

>The hidden quote on Ace's page has him saying "I don't know what to do with myself anymore", suggesting a lack of control over his future, but Mai "had a bright future".

>Arei constantly causes altercations between the cast, but Mai "doesn't like it when her friends fight".

However, plenty of quotes are simply good qualities, such as Hu's "A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe". The point is, everyone seemingly adored this girl.

+Mai is good at keeping secrets, as implied by J's and Nico's quotes ("She kept it a secret, and told no one" and "Everyone confided in her", respectively). Those same quotes actually seem to imply Mai likely knew those two's secrets, and possibly a lot of the others.

+Among other things, Mai is compassionate, forgiving, friendly, and generally a positive presence.

+Mai and Teruko have a particularly strange relationship. We'll come back to this.

+Mai seemingly did... something, and it brought consequences. This is implied by the quotes of Xander ("she couldn't stand to do nothing") and Veronika ("A girl who didn't foresee the consequences"). But, what was it? Well, to get a better idea, we need to take a look at... the Bonus Episodes.

A Not-So-Unnamed-Classmate

Technically-a-Theory: Mai is the Unnamed Classmate

I say "technically" because I'm pretty sure no one actually disagrees with this. Yes, technically it's never been confirmed, but it seems likely Mai is the Unnamed Classmate who shows up in both of the Bonus Episodes we have so far. The PoV character in both of those episodes has the same voice, which sounds like a girl's, and their personality seems to fit with the very little we know of Mai.

Additionally, as you’ll see, the text boxes in the Bonus Episodes are surrounded by flowers which look very similar to the ones in Mai’s tattoo, further connecting them.

It's not much, but since we don't know anyone else who could be Unnamed Classmate, they and Mai are likely the same person.

With this clarified, let's talk about Unnamed Classmate.

Bonus Episode #1

This episode is mostly focused on Min and the history of Hope's Peak, but we can still start to grasp a bit of Mai's personality. She seems generally upbeat and somewhat bubbly, and we can see glimpses of her kind and caring qualities when she comforts Min near the end of the episode.

There's also a few lines which actually tell us a few more concrete things about her, though. I won't post them in chronological order, btw.

Min: Hey! Put your textbook away! Don’t cheat!

Seemingly an insignificant joke, but it does help establish Mai as slightly mischievous/cheeky, which will be expanded upon later. Other indications of this cheekiness include Mai comlimenting Min and trying to distract her by talking about the sky and her backstory, presumably to procrastinate. I may be reading too much into it, but I really don't think Mai is as easily distracted as she makes herself out to be.

Mai: Auughh, the test is too soon, there’s no way I’ll have enough time! I’m totally going to fail!

Mai: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you to help me study--

Mai: I see. That's how you got your talent. I'm ashamed that I'm only now learning something so important. I'm sorry.

(Yes, I had to bunch a few of these images together because I ran into the Tumblr 30 image limit)

A few lines which seem innocuous at first, but when paired together, they hint at something. Essentially, I believe this implies Mai doubts her abilities and actions, and may even have a self-deprecating streak. She's at the very least much harsher on herself than she is on others. It sounds like a stretch, but I swear it's not as farfetched as it seems.

Mai: You're somebody who buys fish-shaped pastries and saves the chocolate-filled ones for me, because you know that those are my favorite.

Mai likes chocolate-filled pastries. Hey, when I said “everything we know about Mai”, I meant everything (that I could find).

Min: I suppose for someone like you who doesn't care too much about Hope's Peak and who, no offense, would never be eligible for the [Ultimate Contest for Eminent Students] with such average grades...

Min: You might not do very well in school, but you're quite sharp.

Put simply, Mai has average grades, but is still considered smart by Min. Her intelligence is visible throughout the episodes, mainly in the form of emotional intelligence and a hint of deception (that's where the mischieviousness comes in).

However, perhaps it’s the first phrase which is most interesting. Mai “doesn’t care too much about Hope’s Peak”. Which is only reiterated by the following lines.

Min: Maybe someone like you who never cared about Hope’s Peak Academy wouldn’t understand. But it’s everyone else’s dream to be an Ultimate.

Mai: Ultimates aren’t everything. As if I’m only friends with you because of your talent. There’s more to you than that.

Mai seems to have a much more laissez-faire approach to the concept of Hope’s Peak and Ultimates than what Min considers normal. By itself, this isn’t too strange, as we know there’s other people not too attached to their status as Ultimates. However, this actually may have something to do with the incident implied in Xander’s and Veronika’s quotes. I’ll get to it later (overused phrase of the day), but for now, keep this in mind.

Nevertheless, there is one more theory affected by this nonchalance towards Hope’s Peak. Except, it’s a theory I believe is actually harmed by this attitude.

Good Theory I Don’t Believe: Mai is a Reserve Course Student

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a cool theory! I just don’t think it works all the way.

Essentially, this theory is what it says in the tin. Mai is the Ultimate ??? because she’s actually a Reserve Course student, a la Hajime Hinata. There are many good posts on this theory, like this one by delightfullydiscordant, and I recommend you read them since they’re well put together! Some of the main points of this theory include:

>Min’s quote for Mai is “An average girl with nothing special at all about her.”, which could imply she doesn’t have a talent. However, there are other interpretations for this line, so it’s far from conclusive.

>Mai seems to be wearing a Japanese Hope’s Peak uniform (check out this post by laly-481), but the jacket around Mai’s waist is darker than the one worn by Ultimates in DR 3. Instead, it seems closer to a Reserve Course jacket. The issue I have with this is that… well, we know very little about what the Japanese Hope’s Peak in the DRDT universe looks like, so this feels a bit vague.

Mai: You’re not nobody. Even if I pretend that you’re not an Ultimate and that we’re not both students in Hope’s Peak Academy, you’re still somebody to me.

I’ll ask you to ignore the lesbians for a moment and focus on the beginning of the quote. If you look at it closely, it seems to imply both Mai and Min are Hope’s Peak alumni, but they’re not both Ultimates. Thereby, Mai must be a Reserve Course student.

However, I actually have a different interpretation of that quote, one which, you guessed it, I’ll get to later. But for now, if we’re going to get involved in semantics, we also have to look at this line:

Mai: The US Hope's Peak Academy takes in college-age students, and there's two of them, and we have this really weird curriculum, and there's a bunch of other things, and...

Min: Remember that we’re East Class 27, so that means that Hope’s Peak is how many years old?

Min: Look at what our classmates are doing now. They're Ultimates too. They're all doing things relevant to their career, if not actually out working.

Min saying “we're class 27" could be interpreted as her simply referring to herself and the other Ultimates, but even then, referring to "our classmates" while talking to Mai implies they're in the same class. Also, Mai saying "we have" a weird curriculum feels odd unless both she and Min have the same curriculum, meaning both of them likely attend the same classes, thus again, both are Ultimates.

But that’s only a minor problem. In truth, there are other reasons I believe Mai has a talent, and I even have a guess of what that talent may be. But the main one is what we just established: Mai never really cared about Hope’s Peak.

I admittedly may be missing some context, since I’ve never watched DR 3, but from what I know, Reserve Course students are usually characterized as people who desperately want to be Ultimates and are obsessed with Hope’s Peak, which doesn’t fit Mai at all. You could argue maybe she went to Hope's Peak to search for Teruko as Teruko's quote implies, but the problem with that is that Teruko remembers Mai, at least a little bit (see: dream sequence), which means they should have reunited before Hope's Peak, since the last thing Teruko remembers before the "amnesia zone" is going to Hope's Peak's entrance ceremony.

Not to mention, we… can’t even be sure the Reserve Course exists. For as much info as we got from the Bonus Episode #1, that course was never even mentioned. And seeing this is a post-Tragedy world, the Reserve Course may not even exist. Especially when Min also says that actually being an Ultimate is considered more important than going to Hope’s Peak in the US.

So, final verdict on this theory? While it’s quite interesting and I definitely think it’s more plausible than many of the other things I’ll bring up, I don’t find it to be the most likely, again because Mai’s disinterest in Hope’s Peak pushes her away from the standard Reserve Course student, and because I prefer a different theory about her talent.

And with that, we’re done with the first Bonus Episode for now! Let’s see what the second one brings.

Bonus Episode #2

This one, surprisingly, has fewer lines which gives us info about Mai. However, what it does give us is arguably some of the most important intel we have so far.

Mai: No, it’s fine. Don’t think you’re making me come with you. I'm here because I want to be here.

Mai: [Xander reimbursing her for the trip]'s silly. I can pay for it myself. Besides, you're letting me stay at your place for a week, so if anything, you're doing me a favor.

The first just reiterates that Mai is compassionate and wants to help whenever she can. As for the second, it seems to imply Mai doesn't struggle too much with money, which is info I guess. However, she also says Xander is doing her a favor by letting her stay over. I think that just means the expenses of living wherever she's living for a week exceed the expenses of the trips? I don't see any other reason that would be considered a favor in that aspect. I considered maybe Mai could have a bad home life, but in the secret quotes:

Charles: A girl who loves her family

So, I don't think that's the case. I think it really is just a money thing, and we don't have to overthink it too much.

Mai: 'Oh, speaking of Hope's Peak. I need to ask Xander if he found that document I asked him to look for.'

Mai: 'I didn't want to unload the work on him, but he's much better at digging up stuff than I am.'

Mai: 'But it's definitely not something I should bring up in a public place. I'll remember to ask him later'.

And here we are. The single biggest Mai-related reveal in the Bonus Episodes. Her and Xander were involved in some sort of secretive operation related to Hope's Peak. In particular, seemingly during their trip to visit the graves of Xander's family, Mai asked Xander to retrieve a document related to the Academy, a document they shouldn't discuss in public. In fact, right after this, Mai changes the subject to Xander's eyes so as to not talk about it, again showing she can be somewhat deceptive when she needs to.

This might be related to Teruko's claim that "[Xander and Mai] both wanted to help", but it seems impossible for her to remember anything which happened during HPA (Hope's Peak Academy, got tired of writing it out) time, so I still don't know what she actually meant by that.

Nevertheless, it's pretty obvious that whatever this is, it would be bad news for HPA. I mean, if Xander's involved, there's no way it's good for an institution. But it also ties back to Mai's critical view of HPA and the Ultimate title.

However, messing with something as powerful as HPA could be pretty dangerous. Thus, I believe this little operation is likely what's being referred to in Xander's and Veronika's quotes.

Xander: She couldn’t stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences.

(By the way, Xander's quote in particular is why I don't quite believe the theory that the document mentioned here is only to get Teruko into HPA somehow. It's a cool theory, but Xander's quote feels a bit too dramatic for that to be the end goal of Mai's plans)

I mean, for one, it's Xander saying Mai did something, and messing with HPA could have quite drastic consequences, from what we know. Thus, from now on, I will henceforth call this vague action against HPA "the HPA Operation", because saying "that thing Mai did which Xander's and Veronika's quotes allude to" is gonna get tiring.

What exactly the HP Operation was, I obviously don't know, we're on chapter 2 of the series and this is quite clearly a mystery which may last until chapter 6 (assuming a standard DR formula).

However, I can tell you one thing. It may not fully be Mai's idea.

Mai: If you set out to do something, then never give up on that, no matter what obstacles may stand in your way. Even if it's risky or against the rules, as long as it's for a good cause...

Mai: I'll trust that you know to do the right thing.

Xander: Yeah, of course (NOT PICTURED)

Xander: That's why I've come to Hope's Peak, isn't it?

The lines about the HPA document appear right after this, although Mai does seem confused at first by Xander's claim that "that's why [he's come] to Hope's Peak". So although Mai is the one who asked Xander to find the document, it's possible the basic idea to go against HPA came from Xander. After all, remember. Mai never cared much about HPA, so it seems unlikely she paid enough attention to it to notice its flaws as quickly as Xander would. Ultimate Rebel, and all that.

However, even if Xander was the one who planted the idea of revolution in Mai's head, she's clearly invested in it. She tells Xander to never give up on anything he sets out to do, even if it's risky or against the rules.

So, there it is. So far, what we know about the HPA Operation is:

>Mai and Xander were heavily involved.

>It may have originally been Xander's idea, but Mai seems to have taken the role of tactician at some point.

>HPA likely wasn't too happy with it.

>It likely had horrible consequences for Mai.

And that's all we had for a while, as Chapter 2 Part 1 didn't add anything to the conversation. Well, except maybe a thought Teruko has when Arei starts crying after her breakdown in the playground:

That pitiful crying... It reminds me of... Of...

That could be about Mai, but I really don't know what it could mean, so I'm sorta ignoring it for now.

So, yeah. Nothing new.

Until it came out.

Going (Literature Girl) Insane

Yeah, the David MV. Mai is listed in the cast list as a secondary character, though her name is crossed out. This likely refers to the portrait of her seen in the background.

The portrait of Mai is labeled "portrait of someone dearly loved", while Teruko's is labeled "portrait of someone dearly unloved", the words flipped. This is one of many things which seem to imply Teruko and Mai are meant to be opposites of each other.

There is also that one image of a girl whose identity is unclear.

It doesn't look like Mai, but maybe that's my prosopagnosiac ass assuming different hair = different person. Generally, people assume this is "Diana Chiem", if she even exists, though I somewhat lean on it possibly being the mysterious name out of frame in the cast list. You know, the name which vaguely looks like "Ms Naegi". However, I'm showing you the image to get a second opinion on something.

You see the hand Mystery Girl is holding? Doesn't it look like it's wearing a glove? Because of the white line in the wrist. Maybe I'm going insane, that could just be a bend of the wrist, but... I kinda don't see it? It makes a bit more sense to me as a glove. And since it doesn't seem to be cut off at the fingers like Xander's, it would have to be Mai's. Other characters also wear this type of glove, but they’re not on the cast list.

The counterpoint is that it looks like you can see the nail of the PoV person's thumb, but I'm not sure that's the case? That part of the sprite is really strange and seems to be different in all three of the Mystery Girl images, so I can't tell. Anywyas, if any of you have ideas, tell me. Again, it's most likely I'm overthinking and that's just a bend of the wrist.

Anyways, enough dillydally, let's get to the big stuff.

The Roman numeral

As you may or may not know, during the MV we’re shown a crossword puzzle which is solved with the characters’ names, and this assigns each character with a different Roman numeral. This numeral later shows up attached to some kind of phrase, which in turn relates that character back to the phrase. I made a post talking about all of them, but I'll go more in detail about Mai's in this post than I did in that post.

Solution by raspbeyes

In the crosswords, Mai intersects Arei and Levi. I don't think this means much by itself, since the way the names intersect doesn't seem to be too important in general. Like, yes, if you squint you can see things like Whit only intersecting Charles, but there's also things like Min only intersecting Arei, Eden only intersecting Rose, Veronika intersecting everyone and their morther... My point is, the exact position in the crosswords doesn't tend to matter much.

What's more important are the numerals. Mai's is XI (11), a number which, from my research, is related to leadership and bringing out the best in others, as well as nobility or higher conciousness and spirituality and knowledge and new beginnings- Okay, the point is, I found mostly inconclusive stuff, but a lot of this sort of relates back to Mai, so we take it.

And the phrase itself:

XI. God is dead

What could this mean? Well, in philosophy, the phrase "God is dead" refers to the breakdown of ethical and sociocultural structures as christianity and religion in general became less universal. So, loss in faith in an institution leads to changes in the status quo. One way to interpret this in the context of this numeral is that Hope's Peak is the "God", and Mai's actions involved a loss on faith on HPA, and everything which comes with it. This could even be related to the phrase which directly follows this numeral in the song, "become brainwashed: go do it!". If HPA's propaganda which makes everyone love Ultimates can be considered brainwashing, anyways.

...

But that's not what any of us first thought when we read that, is it?

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Is Mai Dead?

Yeah, we gotta talk about the elephant in the room.

You'll have noticed, lots of the hidden quotes on Mai's profile speak about her in the past tense. This already had people thinking she was dead since it was first found, but the MV really drove the point home. Considering how the characters think about Mai, it's not impossible to imagine Mai is the "God" here, and "God is dead" has a far more literal meaning.

But, let's hold our horses here, no need to kill her so quickly. There is a chance she's alive.

Coping With the Quotes

Like I said, some of these quotes speak about her as if she's dead, but some of them actually talk about Mai in the present tense. Here, I sorted them out.

Referring to a past event:

Teruko: Some years ago, she was searching for someone named ‘Teruko Tawaki.’ Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up. J: She kept it a secret, and told no one. Xander: She couldn’t stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences.

These are phrases which can't be used to determine Mai's status, since they talk about a specific thing which she did. Even if she's alive, these would still be in the past tense. Teruko's is explicitly talking about years ago; J and Eden are talking about things Mai probably did during her time at HP; and Xander's and Veronika's talk about the HPA Operation. These are inconclusive.

Miscellaneously inconclusive

Whit: A girl with many friends. MonoTV: It’s all your fault.

MonoTV's line doesn't refer to Mai at all, so it's not useful here. And I put Whit here because... frankly, I wouldn't trust him to tell us even if Mai really is dead. "[His] mother is dead, [he] omit[s] this truth", and all that. Though his quote does seem to imply she's alive, for what it's worth.

Present Tense

Charles: A girl who loves her family. Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others. Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone. Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm. Arei: She doesn’t like it when her friends fight. Min: An average girl with nothing special at all about her. David: She forgives everyone.

Admittedly, some of these don't actually have verbs, so putting them in "present tense" is a bit of a misnomer. Still, all of these seem to imply Mai's alive. Notably, David's line is right after Xander's and Veronika's in the code, so he might be saying this after the HPA Operation fell through? Take that as you will.

Past Tense

Hu: A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe. Nico: Everyone confided in her. Ace: A girl who had a bright future.

I was surprised by how few of these lines actually speak of Mai strictly as if she's died. They are all together, too, and separated from Xander's and Veronika's by Arei's and Min's in the code. But what's even more important is that these are still inconclusive.

When Hu says Mai "wanted to keep everyone safe", she could be talking specifically about the HPA Operation, and the phrase would be in the past tense even if Mai survived that.

When Nico says "everyone confided in her", that could mean everyone at one point or another told her their secrets, and again, it would be in the past tense even if Mai is alive.

And although Ace says Mai "had a bright future", we don't know why she no longer has one. It's possible the consequences Veronika speaks of only ruined Mai's future, but didn't get her killed.

With all this in mind, it actually seems like the quotes lean on the side of Mai being alive! That's still inconclusive, and MonoTV's quote is a bit too ominous for me to say they definitively confirm her status.

Especially because... well, the quotes aren't the only part of this discussion.

The MV Killed the Hope's Peak Star

Let's start with the biggest issue, the flowers of an unknown species.

As pointed out by delightfullydiscordant in this post, those flowers appear to be the same ones on Mai’s tattoo and Unnamed Classmate’s text boxes. And as the comments point out, they seem to be camellias.

The issue is that the MV confirms they’re white. And white camellias, in Japan, are popular funeral flowers and are associated with death. Yeah.

Now, let’s not bury the girl yet. White camellias also represent adoration and respect in a more platonic way than, say, red camellias, for example. They can also represent purity, beauty, and even hope. Yeah, we’re dropping the H word.

I also tried looking for literary references with white camellias, in the spirit of the MV. However, the only thing I found was that they show up in “To Kill A Mockingbird”, a book which if I recall correctly is never mentioned in the MV. And it’s a good thing, too, since they apparently represent racism in that book. I don’t think that’s related to Mai, frankly.

So, good news! It’s still not conclusive! Well, but there’s more. In particular, take a look at footnote 20.

This shows up directly after Mai's numeral and the brainwashed phrase I mentioned earlier. It’s a definition of the model of the five stages of grief, with the footnote itself simply claiming it is considered by many to be outdated. Also, there’s an emoticon of someone sticking out their tongue. Don’t know what else that would be, and I don’t know what to make of it.

But the fact it’s a model of how people deal with grief, usually related to death, and that it shows up directly after Mai’s numeral, seems to imply Mai’s dead.

And then there’s the problem of her numeral! Mai has one of the only ones numerals which is colored, in this case gray. The others are mostly just white, with the only other exceptions being Xander's (translucid, "(the world of abnormal sentiment dances)") and Min's (pink, stylised as the X of a death portrait, "democratic-ly" and the rules of class trials). It doesn't bode too well for Mai to have something in common with 2/3 of all confirmed dead people, I have to say.

However, it being gray specifically could be a direct reference to her death as well. Color theory (don’t question it for now) connects gray with the depressed persona of David, though, so this isn’t very conclusive.

And finally, edging into more “confirmation bias-y” territory, you remember how I said the position in the crosswords doesn’t really matter? Well, yeah, but. Mai’s name, as it goes over the A in Arei, also happens to cross the Roman numeral IV (4), a number related to death as per footnote four. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s why Arei has it. You know, the third dead person. Nevertheless, again, crosswords positioning is usually not important, so take that with a massive grain of salt.

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So, what’s the conclusion? I think it’s still up for debate, but I lean more on the idea of Mai being dead. The flowers and the model of stages of grief are pretty damning, and I don’t think most of the quotes being in present tense can really be trusted.

Anyways, let me continue a bit with the idea of her being dead.

Sub-Theory: Shot Through the Heart, Xander’s to Blame

You remember how the MV claims there’s six bullets around? But it also tells you it’s impossible to find them all? I made a post about it, where I found the five bullets which I think are the only ones which i can be found.

My conclusion in that post, which I sort of stand by, is that if there’s six bullets, but only five are visible, the last one is likely loaded in the gun. It’s labeled “(not) a prop gun”, so it’s apparently real, but still connected to Xander.

The issue? That gun is sorta pointed directly at Mai’s portrait.

This kinda fits with the pieces I’ve been putting together. Mai (possibly) died because of the HPA Operation, but Xander may have been the one who originally planted that idea in her head. Or at least enabled her plans by finding documents. In that sense, one could argue it’s Xander’s fault Mai died. So, it kinda fits! I’m going with that.

The question now would be who blames Xander for Mai’s death. After all, I sorta doubt he’s the one who actually killed her. My original instinct was David, since that’s the guy the MV is about, but that doesn’t quite fit. David idolizes Xander a fair bit, so it feels odd to think he’d blame him for this.

Instead, if this theory is true, I think it makes more sense for Xander to blame himself for Mai’s death. Survivor’s guilt is a huge part of his character (see: the Bonus Episode and the quote on his page), so if he survived the fallout of the HPA Operation when Mai didn’t, he’d be quite heartbroken by it. And thus, he may end up blaming himself for dragging her into the whole mess.

So, that's about it for what we know about Mai's status. But would you believe it if I told you we're not done with the MV yet?

Color Theory

Color theory in the context of the MV refers to this post and reblog by accirax, where she went over every colored lyric in the MV and assigned each color a character based on the characters' color scheme and the lines themselves. I recommend checking out her whole post, it's really good and I won't talk about everything she brought up.

For our purposes, the important color is Mai's. And I agree with accirax that Mai is likely black (the color, not the skin tone). Although the color doesn't show up much in her color scheme, she's a generally cryptic character with a generally cryptic color. But the lines work with Mai better than practically anyone else:

>"You" x3: As pointed out by accirax, everyone is obssessed with Mai, so it sorta fits.

>"The track to the ideal country ->" The arrow points to a passage from "Utopia", btw. This makes sense with the HPA Operation. It's a vaguely revolutionary operation which seeks to improve the world, so you could consider that "the track to the ideal country."

However, we have to talk about the elephant in the room. Her color scheme would still set her up to be red. Maybe yellow if you count her eyes, but red is an important color for her. It wouldn't be unheard of for an important character to have two colors, since David has two. But red is a special color for color theory... because it's completely nonsensical.

Red is by far the most overrepresented color in the MV, having practically double the amount of lines any other colors do. And considering the color, you'd imagine it would either go to Mai, Xander or Veronika. However, no character fits all the lines that well, as explained by accirax in her posts. I explained in this reblog what I believe about this in detail, but essentially, I believe red is intentionally ambiguos, and any given red line can belong to any of the three characters I mentioned.

I'll quickly go over the way I would assign the red lines, but I'll only explain the Mai lines, since I already went into detail on the other ones in that reblog I linked to before. Keep in mind some may apply to multiple characters.

Unassignable: Aa, ah, isn't it?!

Veronika: whatever; go mad x3; broken; go insane?; won't change; original; you've killed so many; medicine; self-denial confessions; self-delusion.

Xander: are all just idiots (final verdict); Bye x2; Goodbye; escape!; together; are all just idiots!; ignorant; great applause!!!; won't change; original; and disappear!; 1; medicine; revolutionary; idiot; self-delusion

Mai: Bye x2; Goodbye; broken; God; and disappear!; medicine; revolutionary, self-denial confessions

I will mention, you can also give her all the "idiot" lines Xander has, as well as "won't change; self-delusion" and all that, since David (the guy presumably "singing") may be somewhat skeptical about Mai and her revolutionary ideas.

>Bye x2, Goodbye, broken, and disappear!: She's probably dead, so. I also inexplicably think "broken" works with her death, but not Xander's. I have no idea why.

>God: The biggest reason why Mai has to be included, the others just aren't as God-ish as Mai (hey, it's like that song!). Not much to say; it's connected to Mai via numeral XI, and I already explained why she could be "God" here.

>Medicine; revolutionary: She's a revolutionary thanks to the HPA Operation, and you could argue that means she's the "medicine" of society.

>Self-denial confessions: Mai works better with this line's original context (revolutionaries being coerced into going back on their ideals) than Veronika, but it still leaves behind the question of what exactly she's denying. Maybe denying the ideals of Ultimates, when she herself is (probably) an Ultimate? Something like that. I guess that could also work with Xander in hindsight.

So, there we go! Full interpretation of Color Theory as it relates to Mai. Wow, that was a lot for very little new info!

We're almost done with the MV, but first, we have to talk about the man himself.

David's Relation to Mai, and his Potential Involvement in the HPA Operation

But first, a side note.

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Does David remember Mai?

There's a theory floating around that David might remember parts of his time at HPA, including Mai's existence. Check out this post by anderscim and reblog by xmicrophonyx if you want a full explanation, but I'll cover the main points here. It's a really good theory, and it's not any less plausible than some of the other theories I'll mention later in the post, but I don't quite believe it.

See, the main evidence for this theory is that the Literature Girl MV includes Mai's face in the portrait and an image of Xander with two eyes, as well as things like the morse code and possibly tally 5 which seem to reference David and Xander's relationship during HPA time. And that's my first issue with the theory, I just don't think the MV can be used for this.

Of course, it comes down to interpretation, but the way I see the MV is as an abstract form of storytelling, not a completely 1:1 view of David’s mind. Essentially, while a lot of it is spoken from the perspective of David, it’s not actually a reflection of his real mental state, but rather a representation for us the audience. It’s hard to describe :v

The main thing that I want to bring up in support of my interpretation is the youtube comments scene, I hope you know what I’m talking about. There’s no way David would be aware of these comments, such as the one referencing the J and Arei swap theory. In particular, the comment talking about (presumably, the names aren’t explicitly written) Teruko as a protagonist is impossible for David to conceive, since there’s no way he would know we see her as the protag; and the ones that namedrop Byakuya, Nagito and Kokichi are practically impossible as well, as Veronika has claimed not to remember any other killing games before the one in DRDT. Kokichi in particular would be problematic depending on your interpretation of V3.

What does this mean? This means that the MV isn’t beyond showing us the audience things outside of David’s own mind, for the sake of storytelling. It’s not hard to imagine, then, that the scene with Xander having two eyes is meant to show us that they had a good relationship in HPA, even if David doesn’t remember it. Same with calling Mai “someone dearly loved.”

There’s also a few things about other characters which don’t quite match what David would know about them in the killing game. For example, Rose’s numeral: II. Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum. (I think therefore I am disturbed). This only really makes sense in the context of Rose’s conversation with Teruko and Nico, where she admits to having trouble separating reality from her memory and her dreams. But David wasn’t there for that. Another example is Teruko’s: XIII. or not to be? Which seems to reference her suicidal tendencies, implied in that one thing she said to Arei. Again, that’s not something David would be aware of during the killing game.

Either David remembers way more about HPA than implied in the theory, or those are also examples of the MV going beyond David’s mind to continue telling us things about the story.

In xmicrophonyx’s reblog, she also brings up the pre-chapter dialogue as possibly being David’s. I… don’t see it, frankly. The pre-chapter 1 dialogue seems to fit Teruko more, imo.

“Half-remembering is worse than forgetting. Her name, his face…”

We know Teruko doesn’t remember Mai’s name based on the CH 1 EP 6 dream sequence from before, and the “he” could be her brother. Prosopagnosia, and all that.

And while the chapter 2 dialogue could fit David and his feelings towards Xander better, there’s nothing which explicitly implies he remembers anything about HPA before the killing game.

I still miss you. I miss you so much that I wish you had never been part of my life. The worst part is, even though you left me like this, there’s nothing I can blame you for.

Also I think that’s Eden but that’s besides the point.

And finally, now that you understand why I don’t think the evidence for isn’t very good, we have to address the evidence against. Mainly, the fact that David doesn’t seem to recognize Xander during his introduction. At all. He even explicitly says, “... I don’t believe we’ve met before”, and calls Xander “sir”. There was no indication at that point that they’d be missing memories, so David has no reason to pretend he doesn’t know who Xander is. In fact, I imagine that if he did remember Xander as having two eyes, and he sees him with an eyepatch, he would react to it in some way, right?

In conclusion, although I like the theory, I don’t think it’s very likely that David’s kept any memories from HPA time.

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Anyways, back to my speculation. There is relatively little reference to Mai in the MV, so it's not like we can get much here, but there is still one thing I want to talk about. And that's the morse code at the end of the MV. As translated by dav-suburbiia:

“YOU STILL BELIEVED IN ME DESPITE EVERYTHING I’VE DONE.” “BUT THAT’S JUST FANTASY, ISN’T IT?” “I SIMPLY CHOSE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DID.” “AFTER ALL, I’M INCAPABLE OF BEING SOMEONE WITHOUT YOU.”

Now, most people assume this is about Xander, which is perfectly understandable seeing the context of the MV. However, I think there's an argument to be made that this is actually about Mai.

The main thing here is the apparent contradiction which rises if we assume this is about Xander. The "you" in this code knows what David "has done", but they also seemingly aren't around anymore. If we assume the first is referring to David's "manipulation" thing, then this would have to be about HPA Xanvid, since we've never heard of David confessing his issues to killing game Xander. However, if the "you" really isn't around anymore, this would have to be for killing game Xanvid, since Xander only died in the killing game. Am I making sense?

This isn't conclusive, mind you. You could say the code never explicitly says the "you" is actually gone, just that David can't be someone without them. Or, alternatively, that David did reveal "everything [he's] done" during the killing gmae. But it's still an odd way to phrase all this.

So, is there any evidence this is actually about Mai instead? Well, if you squint. The code is directly followed by footnote 22: "The rest is silence". Silence is the dislike stated in Mai's profile. Word association coming in clutch.

But perhaps more interesting is the phrase "You still believed in me despite everything I've done", combined with:

David: She forgives everyone.

The "you" in the code forgave David, and Mai evidently forgave him as well. It's not conclusive either, but it could be a connection.

Under the interpretation that this is about Mai, it would be related to HPA time. Mai still believed in David, or at least, at one point David believed Mai believed in him, and apparently gave him a purpose in life.

The worrying part about this code is actually the middle. "But that's just fantasy, isn't it? I simply chose to believe that you did". Apparently, it's possible Mai never actually trusted or forgave David, another reason I believe it's possible this isn't actually talking about Xander. As established, Mai can be deceptive when she wants, so it could work. We're missing a lot of information, so what exactly this all would mean is up in the air.

But in any case, it's possible that if David was given purpose by Mai or Xander, he would be involved in the HPA Operation, though how exactly is obviously impossible to know. I know this is really weak, but...

Okay, can we talk about Tally 5 yet? I kinda have to talk about Tally 5. Don't worry, I won't actually post the image.

!!!TALLY 5 SPOILERS (NO IMAGE)!!! SCROLL IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF TALLY 5!!!

If you've been living under a rock under the past month or so, Tally 5 refers to an image you get to by solving a code related to the "correct/incorrect" code in the David MV and inputting it into a webpage accessed via the QR Code in the MV's books. I won't talk about the puzzle itself here, so if you want to solve it, maybe go do that or just scroll past this part of the post.

Anyways, as I imagine you know by now, Tally 5 shows David holding Xander's jacket with the following quotes under it:

I became a villain in pursuit of your dream.

I threw away my humanity for an ideal that I couldn't understand.

But I don't regret it. To "regret" is to imply that I could have done anything else.

I never told you, but the truth is, I wasn't capable of ever becoming human in the first place.

So in the end, you're always-

Listen, I'm not gonna pretend I have some sort of infallible exaplanation of what this means. I have several theories about it, and to give you an idea of how insane it is, one of my theories involves quote 3, the one about regret, being said by MonoTV. Don't ask. I might have to do a completely different post about all this, but I'm sorta waiting until I can read some other peoples' thoughts about it.

But for the purposes of this post, this, to me, heavily implies David was involved in the HPA Operation. He's probably talking about Xander here, and Xander's dream would be the HPA Operation, since as I said, it may have been his idea in the first place. That's the ideal David can't understand: an ideal to change a world David sees as immutable.

Now, the lone jacket would imply this isn't the case. It would seem David is saying this in the killing game, after Xander's death, as holding his jacket seems to imply he's gone. However, I don't know what the dream would be in that case. Killing Teruko? It's possible, but I find that unlikely.

So, yeah. Combined with the morse code, here's a full interpretation of what this could mean in relation to Mai:

Mai or Xander somehow learnt of David's true feelings and the way he sees his own actions. She/he forgave him, or at least pretended to forgive him, and this gave David hope. Mai/Xander then introduced David to the HPA Operation, and asked him to do something which would turn him into a villain, asking him to throw away his humanity for an ideal he couldn't understand. What exactly that would be is obviously impossible to know. David accepts, and even when the plan fell through, he doesn't regret doing what he did, because he feels he couldn't have done anything else.

Am I confident in this interpretation? Not really, but it's a plausible interpretation which is related to Mai and the HPA Operation, so I wanted to bring it up. There's a lot there which is probably wrong, but it's what I have for now.

!!!TALLY 5 SPOILERS OVER!!! YOU CAN START READING AGAIN IF YOU WERE AVOIDING THEM!!!

And with that, we’re officially done with the MV! I mean, I may reference it later, but now the bulk of it is gone. Surely this means we can get to some lighter theorizing and-

Teruko Tawaki

Yeah, we gotta talk about the other elephant in the room. Mai and Teruko are clearly connected in an important way.

The first thing to note with them is that they’re generally set up as opposites. Of course, the most straightforward thing is the “dearly loved/dearly unloved” portraits in the MV, but it goes much deeper. Also in the MV, Teruko’s numeral appears right after Mai’s, if that counts for anything.

Another thing is their color scheme. Teruko is mainly associated with green, while Mai is mainly associated with red. And these colors are complimentary; they’re opposite in the color wheel. Not to mention, taking Teruko’s redesign into account, one could associate her with black and Mai, thanks to her uniform and the white camellias, to white. In particular, it’s notable white camellias actually have a white flower, but a black stem. They’re even the same height, at 5’8”! It’s so they can kiss each other in the lips more easily

Additionally, their attitudes from what we’re seeing are also opposite. Mai “forgives everyone”, which means she’s really trusting, while Teruko is (for now) very distrustful. That one’s a bit looser, but eh. May I even go so far, as to say that right now, Teruko represents despair while Mai represents hope? Alright, now I’m reaching, but it fits. Teruko is someone resigned to her horrible fate (luck), while Mai constantly fought for a better world. In fact, Xander, someone Teruko associates with Mai, calls our protag out on her hopeless view of fate… right before stabbing her.

Hell, practically all good things said about Mai? Not true of Teruko (at the moment).

Charles: A girl who loves her family.

Teruko’s an orphan, and doesn’t remember her brother.

Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others.

Well, you could consider people’s faces something important to them, but Teruko has prosopagnosia.

Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone.

If you watched chapter 2, you know this isn’t true of Teruko.

Honestly, I could keep going like this, but I feel you get the point. There’s no reason for me to dwell on this further when you can just read the quotes and figure out how Teruko isn’t described by most of them.

Well, one possible exception is Levi.

Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm.

Yeah, time to talk about this theory.

Theory I Absolutely Believe: Teruko and Mai are Tattoo ‘Bud’dies

(Get it? Because flowers and buds- Yeah, no)

So shoutout to cider-est for first pointing this out in this post, but it’s true. Teruko’s left arm is always fully covered, either by bandages or by her jacket sleeve. Which is especially odd, considering her right jacket sleeve is always rolled up.

And it’s especially odd, because her left arm is covered even in the jacket-off reference picture.

And yes, there is a suspicious question mark next to Teruko’s left arm. It ain’t even subtle.

But if there’s still any doubt left in your mind, let skulemojee dispel it in this post, where they point out this image from Ch 2 Ep 2:

Yep, you’re seeing that right. Those black lines on Teruko’s left arm look a suspicious lot like the stems of Mai’s tattoo. It's not perfect, since we can't see any flowers and that may just be scars, but we never get a good enough look at the back of Mai's left arm to know if the flowers are tattooed on the forearm, or if only the stems reach that far.

(Also, Teruko in this scene says she doesn’t remember that scar in her back. Part of me thinks it’s related to Mai and the time of the missing memories, but the more rational side of me tells me I need to chill and stop seeing Mai everywhere)

It's also worth noting this would explain the choice of camellias for the tattoo. Remember, although they represent death in Japan, they mainly represent platonic adoration and respect. A very pretty thing to get matching tattoos with your bestie. But since they're not colored they could be interpreted as red and thus romantic for the shippers

So, yeah. I believe they share a tattoo. Which gives a whole lot of context to the quote.

Teruko: Some years ago, she was looking for someone named 'Teruko Tawaki'

In case it wasn’t clear before with the way Mai smiled at Teruko in that dream sequence, or the way Teruko associated Xander with Mai before she got stabbed by him, the fact they possibly share a tattoo implies they knew each other for a while and had a good relationship with each other. Another indication is that Teruko's favorite color, in the latest Q&A, is stated to be red by association. Sorry Xanruko shippers, that's clearly about Mai, since Teruko associates Xander with Mai in the first place.

What exactly the timeline of this mess is, is... complicated if the tattoo thing is true. Because that would require Teruko and Mai to have gotten the tattoo when at least Teruko was 18, both in Japan and the US. In some states of the US, she would be able to get it at a younger age if she got parental consent, but... what parents? She's an orphan.

In fact, when does that dream sequence take place? Is it Hope's Peak time? Can't be, because Teruko wouldn't remember it. Actually, why doesn't Teruko remember Mai's name is Mai had been searching for her for a while?

Yeah, I can't pin down anything specific about their relationship. Obviously I can't, this is a big mystery and we're only in Chapter 2. The best I can give you is that their relationship was clearly very positive, even before HPA.

...

Which is what makes this line so weird.

Mai: Hang on, "real Ultimate talent?" You're the Ultimate Student! I mean, it's not like you're a "Lucky Student" who was picked by lottery.

This line is really odd, isn't it? It seems uncharacteristically mean for Mai, to dismiss someone else's talent so readily. And Teruko's in particular, when again, they clearly liked each other well enough before HPA. This almost reads more like something Mai would say about herself rather than someone else...

Huh.

Theory: Mai, the Second Ultimate Lucky Student

As established before, Mai has a slight self-depricative streak, where she says things about herself she would never say about one of her friends. So, the fact she's so quick to dismiss the Ultimate Lucky Student as a concept could imply she is the Ultimate Lucky Student. (ULS)

Of course, the first question is how this would work with Teruko. A HPA class only has one ULS, and Teruko's there. I've seen others suggest perhaps Mai was the ULS at Japan's HPA, which is apparently still a high school, so it's possible for her to go there and then go to US HPA, which is more like college.

However, I actually think there's an easier explanation. Mai and Teruko both went to US' HPA at the same time. They just went to different ones.

Mai: The US Hope's Peak Academy takes in college-age students, and there's two of them, and we have this really weird curriculum, and there's a bunch of other things, and...

Yeah! Did you forget there's two HPAs in the US?! Because I sure did! I swear, I rewatched that Bonus Episode like 5 times before I caught that. How does this thing keep spawning in information?

I believe this is why Min specifically calls their class East Class 27. Seeing as this is in the US, I imagine there's likely an East Coast HPA and a West Coast HPA. But what would be the point of splitting the school like this? There's no reason the dev couldn't just keep them as just one HPA... unless there's a reason.

Because with two classes of the same age, there has to be two ULS of the same age.

Now, of course, it's possible West Class 27 is completely irrelevant to the story, but if you assume Mai is East Class 27's ULS and Teruko went to west coast HPA, a lot of things start to make sense. Have you ever wondered how Mai could have been in the same class as everyone else, when HPA usually only have 16 students? Well, it's because one (or more, possibly) just went to another class.

This also explains why we have to get this particular detail from a Bonus Episode. Although all the characters have talked about going to HPA, no one ever mentions which HPA they were invited to. It seems like a weirdly specific detail to omit, unless there’s a reason for it. Because if most of them were part of East Coast HPA, and one of them wasn’t, it would immediately stand out as strange to the cast.

And Mai does have some connections to luck. I mean, of course she does, her story is closelly intertwined with Teruko. For example, remember her birthday? February 1st? I told it'd be relevant, right? Well, as pointed out by fuji-iri in this post, on that day, there's 333 days left of the year. 3 is a number associated with bad luck, but there's also associations to "parting ways" and the three stages of life (birth-marriage apparently-death), again explained in the post I linked. That works with Mai and Teruko splitting up... whenever that happened, as well as Mai possbly dying, but the luck thing in particular is notable.

Now, the main reason I believed this before was just that "it's not like you're a 'Lucky Student' line", but as I researched this, I may have found something else? Except, it may just be me being horrible at code and getting really confused. If anyone can confirm or deny this, it'd be great.

Here's what happened. I noticed that when you look up Mai's name in Google, the text under the link to her page had Teruko's hidden quote: "It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all." So I went into the code again.

First, I right-clicked on the title (Mai's name) and clicked "inspect". I expanded the "<head>" section (God I'm bad at this), and found this under <meta name>.

meta name="descripttion" content="Mai Akasaki Ultimate ??? "There's a way for you to be happy." It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all. The protagonist. Despite having the Ultimate title of "Lucky..."

Now, at first, I assumed this was just a coding quirk where for some reason, I was seeing the text of the next character or something.

But, I checked some the other characters, and none of the ones I checked have the same style of text. Look, I'll transcribe some.

Teruko:

meta name="descripttion" content="Teruko Tawaki Ultimate Lucky Student “I will survive this, no matter what!” The protagonist. Despite having the Ultimate title of “Lucky Student,” it seems like the only luck Teruko has is bad luck..."

Xander:

meta name="descripttion" content="Xander Matthews Ultimate Rebel “Screw the rules!” Loud in both voice and personality, Alexander “Xander” Matthews earned the title of Ultimate Rebel through his consistent tendency to go against the..."

MonoTV:

meta name="descripttion" content="MonoTV “Ultimate TV Show Host” “I’m the most beloved character in the cast!” A strange robot with a television for a head. MonoTV claims to be the “Ultimate TV Show Host” who is in charge of an..."

I also checked Veronika, Whit and Nico, but didn't check any more since the pattern's easy to see.

As you can see, usually this section of the code just has the name, the subtitle quote, and part of the body text. None of them have the secret quote, unlike Mai's, which has the quote which is supposed to be Teruko's. But Teruko's name or subtitle quote is never brought up in Mai's "meta name" thing.

Again, maybe I'm missing something, but it really looks like that is meant to be some kind of description of Mai.

It sort of fits. Teruko's quote about trust can fit Mai, hell, is completed by Mai. Teruko usually shows the failing of trusting no one, but Mai may be meant to show the failing of trusting everybody. Mai is also important enough that calling her "the protagonist" is fitting enough.

And, if that really is about Mai, then the final portion is confirmation. "Despite having the Ultimate title of "Lucky..." If this is about Mai, then Mai is unequivocally an ULS.

Again, I don't consider this conclusive because I am an idiot and could very easily be wrong. The wording is exactly the same's as Teruko's, so again, it may be a coding oddity. But with all the other stuff I mentioned, I can at least say this is the theory for Mai's talent I believe the most: She's East Class 27's ULS, while Teruko went to West Coast HPA as their ULS.

Anyways, anything else about Teruko? Oh, yeah, a final sub-theory on her.

Sub-Theory: Shot Through the Heart, Teruko's to Blame

Take a look at the 2nd Anniversary picture.

[The three frames of the 2 year anniversary "video"]

Okay, I know you can't see shit here, but I'm running out of the 30 image limit. Check out lacunasweven's post where she discovered this (to my knowledge), and stfu-sage's reblog where he solved the code.

When solved, that code translates to “It’s all your fault”, which you may remember as MonoTV’s line about Mai.

So, Teruko reaches out for Mai, then “it’s all your fault” appears for a frame or two, and then suddenly Mai’s gone. It’s not exactly hard to imagine that this means Teruko is at fault for Mai’s death, or at least whatever consequences the HPA Operation had. How exactly is impossible to know, because again, it’s a mystery we’re not meant to solve yet. I have a gut feeling it’s probably related to Teruko’s luck, but that’s all it is, a gut feeling.

This doesn’t conflict the “Xander’s at fault” idea, if you’re curious. It’s possible for multiple people to consider themselves at fault for Mai’s death. Xander for bringing her into the HPA Operation, Teruko for her luck or whatever else happened.

Although… yeah, we gotta talk about that right? The scene before the prologue.

I can’t say anything definitive, because again, not something we’re meant to figure out at the moment. But I can tell you what I think.

First, the PoV character is probably Xander. There’s a bloody fork there, and while I’m not the one who came up with the idea, (see: anderscim's post about this) that’s likely the weapon which was used to take out his eye. His wounds do look suspiciously fork-like, though I struggle to explain it without images, and I’m already stretching thin to make the image limit. I’ll have to ask you to look it up yourself.

Anyways, that may be Xander, and this may be the incident where Xander lost his eye. The reason I’m bringing it up is that, since Xander is involved, there’s a chance this is somehow related to the HPA Operation. Here’s a full transcript of what’s said:

... Fuck!! Fuck, fuck, fuck, this really hurts... Ouch... I really wasn't expecting her to attack me like that. I made a massive mistake to trust them. I can't rely on anyone. All by myself... I have to end the killing game. And even if I can't do that... I have to kill Teruko Tawaki. No matter what.

So, a woman attacked Xander unexpectedly, managed to overpower him and stab his eyes out with a fork, then presumably ran away. And this all seemingly happened in some form of killing game. And Xander already wanted to kill Teruko.

I doubt Teruko was the one who attacked Xander. Because Xander calls her out by name at the end, and also because, how would Teruko be able to overpower Xander? Unless you “divine luck” your way into an explanation, I just don’t see it. In any case, it’s probably a different woman. Without knowing anything about the previous killing game, we can’t know much about this situation.

However, the fact that Xander already wanted to kill Teruko here is notable because it seems to imply this killing game happened after Mai's death. After all, Mai and Teruko had a good relationship, right? So Xander wouldn't have a grudge against her until after the HPA Operation fell through. The final conclusion here is that Teruko somehow caused Mai's death, which somehow led to the pre-series killing game. I think? Obviously, it's impossible to say anything conclusive here, and I don't even know what exactly the connection would be between Mai's death and the previous killing game.

And with that, we finish discussion of Teruko.

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Quick Side Note: The Mai-stermind Theory

I’m not funny.

So, in case it isn’t clear yet by the fact I keep assuming she's dead, I don’t think Mai is the mastermind of the killing game. I’m aware it’s a possibility, seeing as she’s very mysterious and all that, but frankly, I just have never seen anyone seriously bring up this possibility, since there’s essentially no evidence. It’s also important to note, even if she is a mastermind, she can’t be the only mastermind, since we know one of the participants of the killing game is a mastermind as well.

To be fair, I did notice some connections to MonoTV while researching. Like I mentioned at one point, they’re the only characters without any highlighted words in their subtitle quotes. And the secret quote in MonoTV’s page is “Her name is Mai Akasaki”, but frankly that feels a bit too… unsubtle. Also... no, actually that’s kinda it.

I’ve also seen some people attribute the “teacher” speech to Mai, but I really don’t think that’s her. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s the text in the code of the About page for DRDT on Tumblr. Here’s a post about it by delightfullydiscordant. I won't go into their theory on it, since it's unrelated to Mai. As you'll see, there’s nothing intrinsically relating the speech to our girl, and nothing in the text suggest she’s the one speaking, so I don’t think it’s related.

With what we know of Mai, I don’t think it makes sense to call her the mastermind. I’m only bringing it up now to be thorough, and because I didn’t know where else to put it :v

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Other Characters, Miscellaneous Connections

Essentially just me talking about all the characters I haven’t covered yet, to see if any of them could have a connection to Mai or the HPA Operation than what may seem at first.

Already talked about: Xander, Teruko, David

No Evidence of Connection Beyond ‘Classmates’: Rose, Arturo, Levi, Hu, Nico, Ace, Arei, Min

What this means is that while it’s technically possible these characters are related to Mai and the HPA Operation, right now we don’t have any indication of it. Sorry. That doesn’t mean I don’t have things to say about them.

Arturo is usually so mean that, honestly, the fact he says anything positive about Mai at all makes me wonder if he may actually be related. Reminds me a bit of David’s quote, I guess. But maybe I’m just biased because I want this guy to be plot-relevant.

I guess Levi mentioning the tattoo in his line could be important, but unless he has the tattoo too (which is possible I guess, but I don’t quite see it), I don’t know what it could mean.

I could actually see Hu’s and Ace’s lines implying a connection to the HPA Operation, honestly. Seeing as they’re some of the only people who actually talk about her in the past tense, I think it’s possible they were involved. Hu would want to help Mai if she felt she “wanted to keep everyone safe”, for what it’s worth. I sorta hope Hu is plot-relevant too.

Even if Mai is talking to Arei in her current subtitle quote, I don’t see much evidence Arei would be involved in the HPA Operation.

You may be wondering about my old theory about the Sleepy MV and how it could tie back to Mai, and while I still think it's a possibility, I frankly don't believe it anymore. It requires a very specific reading of the song which I don't think is entirely accurate, and there isn't actually much connecting the MV to Mai. I still think Min's line being so overly insistent on Mai being "an average girl with nothing special at all about her" could imply their relationship may have broken down because of the HPA Operation, which makes sense. If Xander engineered the plan, obviously Min will dislike it on principle. But that's probably me trying to make Min more plot relevant than she actually is.

Only Connected via “Original Killing Game” Theory: Charles, J, possibly Ace and Arei

What the hell am I talking about? In the Color Theory reblog I mentioned earlier, I described a wild theory that quite a few of the characters we know were actually involved in that pre-prologue killing game, and we can learn who those characters are thanks to the word "original". Sound insane? It is. I won't go over the reasoning here, I'll ask you check the reblog I linked.

This is the "Original Killing Game" Theory, and it's one of the most far-fetched theories I've ever enginereed. But since it's sorta connected, I thought I'd mention it. The characters involved are Charles, Veronika or Ace, David, Teruko, J/Arei, Xander, MonoTV, Whit. I’ve already talked about some of these, and don’t think MonoTV is worth talking about, frankly.

So, why am I only bringing up Charles and J for now, as well as potentially Ace and Arei since they could actually be part of the theory depending on how you interpret the colors? Well, these are the only ones in the “original killing game” theory who I don’t think have any evidence of being connected with Mai any further. Since that theory is already insane to start with, and it’s possible Mai was already dead when that killing game started, I don’t think it tells us anything.

Although sometimes I wonder if J’s quote is talking about something other than Mariabella, but at the moment, I have no clue what that would be. So that’s still the likeliest possibility.

Eden: Eden

Eden, huh? In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been sorta dancing around Eden’s line a bit, because… like, what in the actual fuck does it mean.

Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up.

It’s such an odd line. It’s nothing like the other ones, which you’d think would make it significant, but it’s just… cryptic. I’m sorry, but while I think this probably means something, I don’t have a good answer of what it could be.

… Well, there is the one thing.

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Crack Theory: Mai the Girl Kisser

This theory states that Mai is the girl mentioned in Eden’s secret, the one the Clockmaker kissed.

See? Theorizing’s easy! Just grab a random character we don’t know anything about, and slap Mai on top of it like a bandaid!

I’m aware the dev has sorta poked fun at people like me who see an unknown face and instantly jump on Mai, but at least this one has a bit more reasoning. Mainly, that I just don’t know what else Eden’s quote could be referring to.

Consider this concept: Eden and Mai kiss at some indeterminate point before HP, and Eden freaks out. She gets extremely worried about how Mai’s going to react, and she runs away. Mai tries to contact her afterwards, but Eden was avoiding her. Still, “[Mai] kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up”.

Is this essentially just fanfiction at this point? Practically, yeah, but I have nothing else.

On the insane off-chance this is true, it would come with certain implications. It would mean Eden and Mai had met before going to HPA, which is… uh, something. If it helps, that would mean their relationship would have a “new beginning” at HPA, and Eden’s character has some themes of new beginnings. Her birthday is on December 31st, so New Years, and her favorite color is daffodil yellow, when daffodils represent new beginnings. It’s small, but it’s there.

(And if you know who I am, you know I believe Eden killed Arei to reunite with the girl of her secret (long story). Mai helps here because of course she would have enough rizz to make a good girl go bad, have you seen how everyone talks about her? She would get all the bitches!)

Anyways, again, this is extremely silly, but it’s sort of the only thing I can think of for Eden’s line, so for now, have it. If anyone’s got better ideas, I’m more than open to hear them.

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A Connection is More Plausible: Veronika, Whit

In no particular order, these are the characters, apart from Xander and Teruko and David, which I think have an actual chance of being involved with Mai and the HPA based on what we know so far. Let’s go a bit more in depth.

Veronika’s Peculiar Problem of Popping Up Fucking Everywhere

It is insane how many times I’ve brought up Veronika in this post without being able to pinpoint why exactly she keeps appearing. She shares the color red with Xander and Mai in my version of Color Theory, though admittedly that may just be her hair. She’s in the “original killing game” under that theory. Hell, she’ll show up again when I talk about Whit.

But by far, the most concerning thing about her is her line in the Mai page.

Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences.

I’ve mentioned this line before, of course, because it’s clearly related to the HPA Operation’s fallout. In fact, it’s the only line apart from Xander’s and MonoTV’s which explicitly reference it. This could easily imply she was involved somehow, either as someone helping Mai and Xander, or actually going against them in some way. Whatever is more entertaining for her, I imagine.

There are two issues with this. One, I cannot discount the possibility that Veronika got that creepy and ominous line because she’s the creepy and ominous character, and it doesn’t actually mean anything for Veronika herself. It’s a very real possibility.

Two, even if she is involved, there’s nothing we have which could help narrow down what she did. Again, she’s too unpredictable.

In other words, while I’m putting Veronika here with the vague idea that she could be connected to it all, I don’t have any concrete theories.

Though maybe I should address the one Veronika-Mai theory which exists, for the sake of completion.

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Crack Theory: Veronika Is Mai

To be clear, I don’t believe this. It’s pretty clear to me that Veronika is her own character with her own backstory. But I still want to point out some connections to show you how insane I’m going writing this.

+They’re both the same height (5’8”) and have long red hair. This is enough for my prosopagnosic ass to confuse them if they change hairstyle. Their weights and birthdays are different, but weight can change and birthdays can be lied about. Their chest sizes are different, though, so I’m pretty sure that rules out this theory already.

+Speaking of birthdays, August 7th, Veronika’s birthday, happens to be 7 months away from Teruko’s birthday on January 7th. 7? Lucky number. Lucky Student. Word association -> Mai.

+Veronika covers both her arms, so no tattoo would be visible.

+Veronika asks Teruko if she would recognize her were she to wear contacts, a wig and different clothes. This could imply she is, and would therefore be Mai.

+Her pose in the character profiles is vaguely similar to Mai’s, but flipped. This is interesting because no other character’s pose is even close.

+She wears a small earring given to her by someone named “Alyssa Belyaeva”. This by itself means nothing, but the earring is a small green triangle she considers a good luck charm. Luck?! And triangles have three sides. 3?! That number we said was unlucky and related to Mai before? And green. Green?! Teruko! Auasfruryg- <- short-circuiting from thinking too much.

+Veronika has plain brown eyes. Come on, have you seen this cast’s eyes? Those are absolutely contacts.

+Her hidden quote about people being broken could refer to the hopeful Mai being broken into Veronika as a result of the HPA Operation’s consequences.

Yeah, most of this is pretty silly, but again, I don’t think this theory is very likely, so I’m just poking fun at how suspicious Veronika can be at times.

——————————————————————————————————

Whit and Tetraphobia

At first, it doesn't really seem like Whit is too involved in this. I mean, his quote is pretty inoffensive:

Whit: A girl with many friends.

And sure, he is the Original Killing Game Theory, but even if that's somehow true, it's no guarantee he's involved in the HPA Operation or anything. Nothing really seems to connect him to Mai...

Except the one thing.

XV. Remaining ignorant, isn't that "happiness"¹⁵?

XV is Whit's Roman numeral, and again it isn't too strange on its own. Other than being the only numeral to ever show up alongside another numeral, in this case Veronika's because of course it's Veronika's.

The issue is the background text. It's hard to see, but there's faint pink text saying "subtract 4, due to tetraphobia⁴". Footnote 4 simply defines tetraphobia, which is the practice of avoiding the number 4, as it's considered a number related to death, and is seen as unlucky. Of course, the fours themselves are colored green for Teruko, presumably.

But the important part is, what does this mean? The most straightforward idea is to subtract four from the numerals on screen, or perhaps the footnote?

For the footnote: Subtracting 15 - 4 = 11, quick math, and that's the footnote which talks about being an only child and that (presumably) Diana Chiem never existed. I... don't think that makes too much sense for this scene, frankly.

For Veronika's numeral, subtracting XIV (14) - 4 = 10. That's Min's numeral, which shows up in the part of the MV most directly tied to class trials. This could simply imply she enjoys the trials and the bloodshed, and it also looks somewhat mastermind-y, but that's not really new for Veronika. You could also do this one more literally, taking out 4 from 14 and ending up with 1, connecting her to Xander, and at this point I'm not surprised.

But, of course. The tetraphobia line only shows up when Whit's numeral does, and it's colored in the pink associated to him via Color Theory, though of course, being background text, the tetraphobia line isn't actually included in that theory. That would seem to imply it's about him, right?

Well, in the same vein as before, if you subtract XV (15) - 4 = 11 (XI). And... that's Mai's numeral, attached to the line "God is dead". So, uh-

Sub-Theory: Shot Through the Heart, Whit's to Blame

The idea that maybe Whit was somehow involved in Mai's death. By the end of the series, I'm gonna end up blaming half the cast for this, apparently.

So, the tetraphobia thing is the most straightforward piece of evidence towards this possibility, but there's a bit more. For one, in the recent Q&A, it was stated that Whit's least favorite color is gray because it's boring, and that's the color of Mai's numeral. Remember how I pointed out it's actually one of the only numerals to be colored? Yeah.

Furthermore, Whit's numeral appears right before Mai's, but that may just be the way the song works out, since LGI wasn't made for DRDT. However, remember that "become brainwashed: go do it!" line I said was directly after Mai's numeral? Yeah, the word brainwashed is color coded pink, connecting it to Whit via Color Theory. And, if that wasn't enough, in the section for footnote five, the one with the Japanese characters? The word blood shows up, in pink, as the song speaks about revolutionaries. Yes, DR blood is pink usually, but there is red blood in the MV (near the snake), and the characters canonically see it as dark red (since that's the stated reason why dark red is Xander's and Charles' least favorite color). My point is, the dev could have made the blood red there, and/or just written the symbol for blood in red, but since it's pink, Color Theory ends up connecting it to Whit.

All of this could point to Whit as another culprit of Mai's death, but don't jump to conclusions. For one, since we have no clue about the circumstances, perhaps he only accidentally caused the death. We've seen that Teruko is also likely to blame in some way, probably in a similar fashion. And because it may have been accidental, this also doesn't mean Whit has to be the mastermind. It makes him look oddly suspicious, sure, but nothing too damning.

And of course, there's a huge chance I'm reading too much into things. There are other explanations for brainwashed and blood, and it's still totally possible that the tetraphobia thing refers to Veronika or even the footnote.

A Summary of Her Story, So Far

To end things off, I'll go over everything I've concluded with what we know so far, though of course I know we're missing a lot, and that a ton of this is also probably wrong. Here's how this is going to work.

Regular text means this is something we pretty much know for sure.

Italics means it's a theory I'm quite convinced of.

[Brackets mean I'm relatively unsure about something]

*Asterisks mean the theory is insanely unlikely, and it can probably just be assumed false*

{Braces are for flavor text, you can ignore this for theorizing purposes}

Closing Argument

>Mai was born February 1st, 20--, to a nice family she loved. We know little about her childhood, but [it's possible she was friends with or somehow got interested in a girl named Teruko Tawaki. However, fate kept them apart for years]. But Mai was not easily deterred, she would search for and find Teruko, no matter what.

>*As she searched for Teruko Tawaki, she met a girl named Eden Tobisa. They kissed, but Eden freaked out and ran away. Mai tried contacting her, she kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up.*

>At some point before Hope's Peak, her and Teruko reunited. *Even when Teruko couldn't recognize her and even struggled to remember her name*, Mai still remembered everything that was important for Teruko, as she always did.

>Mai and Teruko, loving each other so much, decided to get matching floral tattos on their arms. White camellias, a symbol of adoration and respect.

>{But fate really didn't like to see them together.} Soon, Teruko received a letter, teling her she was chosen as the Ultimate Lucky Student of Hope's Peak's [West Class 27]. This was uncharacteristically good luck for Teruko, who before had to hop around schools, always stealing uniforms, just to get an education.

>{The problem?} At the same time, Mai received a letter that she was invited to join Hope's Peak's East Class 27 as their Ultimate Lucky Student, on the other side of the country. Mai never really cared much about Ultimates or Hope's Peak, {but Teruko insisted it was too good of an opportunity for either of them to pass up. They decided to keep in contact,} as Mai headed to East Coast Hope's Peak.

>Alexander Matthews is scouted as the Ultimate Rebel. David Chiem is scouted as the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker.

>At Hope's Peak, despite being an average girl with nothing special at all about her, she quickly became a girl with many friends. She saw the beauty in everyone, and everyone agreed she had a bright future. Everyone confided in her, J even telling her about her mother, something which Mai kept secret, and told no one.

(Okay, maybe fitting in all the quotes isn't as easy as I hoped it'd be)

>*She even reunited with Eden, and they decided their relationship would have a new beginning*.

>However, she also met a very interesting boy: Xander Matthews. He had gone to Hope's Peak with one goal in mind: revolution. He confided in her, as they all did, his issues with Hope's Peak and the system it was built upon. Mai was revolted by the truth, and asked what she could do to help. She couldn't stand to do nothing. She wanted to keep everyone safe.

>With that, the HPA Operation started.

>They started small; stealing a few documents here and there. [But their plans grew bolder over time.]

>[Along the way, they discovered something shocking]. David, who always spoke of change and hope, was hiding his true feelings. He didn't see himself as human, not being able to relate to his peers as the others did. He saw himself as a manipulative bastard for lying to all the people he gave speeches to. He hated himself, and expected Mai and Xander to hate him, too.

>[But they didn't. Xander still saw the best in him, and Mai? Well, Mai forgives everyone. And to make him see the good in himself, they asked him to help in the HPA Operation]

>He didn't understand it, not really. The world wouldn't change, no matter what Mai and Xander told him. But even though he didn't understand, he still wanted to help them.

>As the popular Ultimate Inspirational Speaker, David had more connections and influence than a simple Rebel or Lucky Student. That meant he could offer things to the Operation the other two couldn't, even if it was through... less than moral means. But to David, that was no object. He would become a villain in pursuit of their dream, throw away his humanity for this ideal. It's not like he could have ever been human, anyways.

>*Not everyone was as receptive, though. Min in particular, after finding out about the plan somehow, got quite angry with Xander and Mai. It wasn't unusual for the Student and the Rebel to disagree, but Mai still didn't like it when her friends fought*

>Mai knew it was risky, she really did. But nothing could prepare her for what was about to happen. She didn't foresee the consequences.

>[When Teruko was visiting], the HPA Operation faced a huge issue. A plan gone wrong, a variable miscalculated. And, with Teruko to blame, [and possibly Whit] *and Veronika, who got dragged into this mess at some point*, Mai died.

>{Chaos ensued. Mai's death broke the class, reverberating through the students like the rumbling of a fallen god's corpse. "It's all your fault!" Xander screamed at Teruko,} hiding that he felt responsible for her death as well. After all, he was the one who had dragged her along. And now, he was once again left alive to mourn a death he himself narrowly avoided. Talk about survivor's guilt.

>[One thing led to another, and a killing game was set up]. Xander and Teruko got stuck in it, with Xander losing his eye as he tried everything he could to end the game, or at least kill Teruko. *Charles, Veronika/Ace, David, J/Arei and Whit might have also present in this killing game, ran by MonoTV.*

>More stuff happened, and finally, the students all lost their memories and wound up in the killing game we follow throuhout the series.

>A shattered dream, a tragic fate, a broken hope. Though mystery continues to shroud her existence and her role in the story, for now, this is my final conclusion on the story of: Mai Akasaki, the Ultimate ???

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Holy hell this was pain to write. I don't want to make another post this complicated for a while. Jesus. This broke my soul.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my insane ramblings, if you really were strong enough to put up with my madness for this long. I still want to hear any thoughts you may have, since this character is really interesting and cool and fun to theorize about.

But for now, I leave. Thanks for reading! If you made it this far, then just know, Mai would be proud of you! And you should know, because you should practically be a scholar on her by now. Take care!

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #fanganronpa #mai akasaki #drdt theory #xander matthews #drdt xander #david chiem #drdt mv #teruko tawaki #i am so tired

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