#i'll never be over the scene where she throws up after remembering their first meeting post-book reveal. btw

[buffyspeak]

i'll set fire to the whole place, i don't even care about our house

[pasc4lfuzz]

me vuelves loco

pairing: javier peña x f!reader a/n: i've tried writing before, but every time i've tried and even posted, i've deleted it after less than a week because i didn't like what i'd written. I don't know if I'll regret this one-shot after a while and end up deleting it, but I hope you like it. ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE!!!! summary: During the DEA New Year's party in colombia javi can't take his eyes off you. rating: MATURE! MDNI warnings: flirting, heavy make out, alcohool, remembering sex (i think this would be the right term lol) word count: 3.5k dividers by @/saradika-graphics

December 31st and you and the DEA still haven't caught Pablo Escobar, and so goes another year of hard work, always getting close to the goal but never quite finishing. As always, on New Year's Eve, the DEA throws a party for its employees. Last year you didn't feel like going, you preferred to stay at home, you, a bottle of wine, a plate of pasta alfredo and the TV on. 

You were immersed in your own thoughts for a long time as you sipped your wine, reminiscing about everything you did last year, especially your mistakes, how many times you and your partners were close to catching the head of the cartel and something went wrong, taking you back to the beginning. But that didn't even come close to occupying your mind during the night, definitely not, in your head there was only Javier Peña, that man with the broad shoulders and slutty waist, the way his thight jeans hugged his legs and ass, the cheesy grin he did when he hears the sound of your heels through the office. But surely one of your biggest mistakes - or the one you try to convince yourself was a mistake - was having sex with Javier. You didn't want to be another notch on his belt, but (un)fortunately you ended up giving in, but how could you not? 

That night you were going over some files with Javi in his apartment, glasses of whiskey on the coffee table, some papers lying on the sofa and on the floor, Javis eyes every few minutes on you, admiring you, flirting with you until you couldn't stand it. Suddenly you remember Javier's lips where in yours kissing you hungrily, his tongue searching for yours while their hands stroked from your waist to your ass and their hands tugged at your hair. You remember everything down to the smallest detail, the way he kissed your whole body, the feeling of his tongue flicking your clit, he tasting your pussy like a starving man. The weight of his body on top of yours and how your inner walls hugged his cock in every thrust, his groans and whispers praising you were echoing in your mind, and you realize, you've got it bad for Javier Fucking Peña.

So this year you've decided to go to the party, maybe you'll meet someone important there, get more contacts to help with Escobar's case. Work, work, work, that's all there was to your life lately, stressing you to the limit many times, you saw things and situations you'd never forget, but in the end you told yourself the same thing, in the end I'll have helped a lot of people, and that's all you wanted. As well as thinking that going to the party will help you at work, a week earlier Connie Murphy was at your apartment, your partner Steve's wife met you by chance in the building that the DEA had made available to the agents when you were coming home from work with Steve and Javi, and since then you've become friends. 1 week ago, the night Connie came to your apartment to have dinner and talk, she mentioned the party and said she was going with Steve and asked you if you were going.

"I don't know Con, I was thinking of going but... it's not really my scene" You say sighing and throwing your head back on the sofa, wiping your hands across your face "Maybe there I'll be able to talk more to some people from the Embassy and-" You're interrupted by Connie waving her hands and starting to talk.

"No, no, no, that's enough work talk and work thinking" Connie puts her hand on his shoulder, making him look at her "You work too much, you put all your time and effort into the DEA, I understand that it's supposed to end all this madness once and for all, but I think it's best if you give it a rest, you know." 

Her gaze gradually calms you down, your shoulders relax and your posture is no longer rigid from all the stress you've been going through lately.

"Think of this party as an escape from your problems, there won't be any narcs there for you to worry about, and I'll be there too," Connie says winking in your direction, eliciting a huffy laugh that shakes your head.

"Yeah, I'll go, at least I don't have to drink my own wine" You shrug letting out a sly smile.

The atmosphere in the main hall where most people were meeting is buzzing with energy and excitement. The vast space is adorned with shimmering decorations, exuding a bit sense of luxury, besides this was a DEA party, some colombian politicians were there making presence. Soft, warm lights bathe the room in a flattering glow, casting a sophisticated aura over the gathering. Lively conversations fill the air, complemented by the soft tones of a electric guitar, bass and a woman singing beautifully playing in the background. You're wearing a pearly white satin dress that goes all the way down to your heels, your make-up is simple but your lips are a deep red.

You pass some of your coworkers doing a fast small talk in pursuit of your goal of getting to the bar counter. There are at least 3 people in charge of making the drinks and preparing the drinks that are ordered, you give a friendly smile to the man who approaches you on the other side of the counter asking if you would like anything. You quickly look at the drinks menu and order a Cosmopolitan. 

This isn't one of the best scenarios you could imagine yourself in, you barely enjoy going out for a happy hour after long hours at work, let alone a New Year's Eve party with almost everyone you've worked with. You blame Connie, who, by the way, you haven't seen until now, while your eyes slowly wander around the room watching the others chatting and smiling. One of your favorite pastimes is:

observing.

Many times have you found yourself late at night when you couldn't sleep at your window, feeling the soft caress of a refreshing breeze that carries a subtle hint of the surrounding nature. The gentle touch of the air eases the sticky, humid air that normally hangs heavily in the Colombian nights, providing a respite from the tropical heat that characterizes this part of the world. Colombia wasn't a city that never sleeps like New York or a night city like Los Angeles, but there was a bit of movement at night, and you love watching people pass by and guessing where they're going, who they're meeting or how their day went. And now it's no different.

You're immersed in your thoughts, your attention going from person to person analyzing their features and posture, some with fake smiles just to please the rest around them, others very excited about the turn of the year with a fresh start, and a good number of the people you work with exhausted, just wanting this drug war to end.

Your trance is interrupted when you hear a familiar voice in your ear.

You knew that voice very well.

A voice that sends your heart racing and your spine tingling with anticipation.

It's Javier, his voice velvety, sultry, and more than enough to send shivers down your spine, awakening a deep sense of longing that you find both thrilling.

“Hermosa, I didn't expect to see you here” 

You turn your head to the right and see Javier Penan, leaning slightly with his right arm on the counter, with that smirk in his face that drives you crazy- NO!

You hate it.

“Peña.” You give him a slight nod and pick up your Cosmopolitan, which should have been sitting there for at least two minutes while you paid attention to your surroundings. 

You feel Javier's gaze travel slowly from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, as if he were taking in every aspect of you. His eyes travel with an almost tangible intensity, like a physical caress on your features. You can practically feel the way his gaze follows the outline of your hair, pauses to appreciate the shape of your face and then moves down, lingering on the curves and lines of your body. The way he looks at you is almost hypnotic, as if he's trying to memorize every inch of you.

“You look stunning,” he says, and you feel your heart skip a beat as his eyes meet yours once again. Those warm, brown puppy dog eyes that you had thought could see right through your soul.

You feel exposed, laid bare under his gaze, like a book open for inspection. There's a spark of mischief in his eyes, as though he's enjoying the effect he's having on you, and he leans in a bit closer, a hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

“You don't look so bad yourself,” I reply, quickly looking him up and down. The suit he's wearing hugs his body perfectly, emphasizing the broadness of his shoulders, and making it hard not to appreciate the way it shows off his physique. I can see the strength in his frame, the way his shoulders bunch up as he rolls them back, and the way the fabric stretches over the muscles of his arms. My eyes dart back up to his face, where his mouth curves into a small, wry smile, the look in his eyes almost smug.

“Like what you see?” Javier winks at you and you take a big sip of your drink, breaking eye contact.

“you wish” I roll my eyes placing the drink down ”have you seen Connie?”

“Hm yeah she’s actually with Steve talking with Noonan” He points to his partner and his wife talking with the ambassador.

“Excuse me Peña.” You say walking away from him, you can feel his eyes glued in your ass, watching the way your hips sway as you walk through the room.

As the night wore on,you were engaged in a conversation with Connie and started to question your decision to listen to her.

"Connie, I think I'm leaving now," you said, finishing the last sip of your drink as your eyes scanned the room.

She gasped, clearly not believing what you were saying. "No, no, no! We discussed this already. If you leave, you'll be all alone on New Year's," she exclaimed.

You nodded, replying, "That's exactly what I had planned, just like last year."

“No, come on stay for me, soon Steve is gonna start getting sleepy and i would get bored” Connie waits for your response.

You close your eyes taking a deep breath before answering a simple “Fine” and Connie smiles at you.

“I’ll get you another Cosmopolitan” Connie leaves towards the bar to get you the drink she promised.

As you patiently wait for your friend and your drink, you couldn't help but take another look around the room. This time, you noticed something you hadn't before - a nearly closed door. Intrigued, you couldn't resist exploring further, walking towards the door and gently pushing it open.

Behind the door, you found yourself in a cozy little library, filled with books and the faint scent of old paper. As you walked along the shelves, your eyes scanned over various titles until something caught your attention - your favorite book.

There it was, standing out among the others, and your heart skipped a beat out of excitement. You eagerly pulled it out from the shelf and held it in your hands, feeling a sense of comfort and nostalgia wash over you.

“That’s a good one.” A voice behind you echoes through your mind, of course it's Javier.

You turn around looking at him trying to hide your emotions from the guy that little by little was stealing your heart, and that scared you. You shouldn't feel that way about him, you know very well that Javier Peña doesn't do relationships.

“Didn’t know you read.” You say sarcastically putting the book back in its place.

“Oh please, I know I'm not the most intelligent man but sometimes I read.” He says while slowly walking towards you, it’s like your body is calling him.

"Anyways, it's a classic, of course it's good," you say with a hint of excitement. Without realizing it, you start to passionately ramble about the book, your words flowing effortlessly as you speak.

"I mean, just the way the author captures the essence of the characters' development throughout the story, the way the plot unfolds, the way the conflict is resolved - it's all so brilliantly done. And don't even get me started on the writing style!" As you finally finish your passionate ramble about the book, you suddenly notice Javier's gaze fixed on you, almost as if it was burning through your skin.

"Why did you stop?" he asked, taking a few steps closer, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I…” You can’t trust your own words at this point, afraid you’ll say something that will fell wrong.

A shiver ran down your spine as Javier spoke in a low, sultry tone, his words sending a warm sensation coursing through your body.

"I don't think you realize this," he continued, his voice dropping even lower, "but you literally become ten times sexier when you talk about books."

“Stop right there Peña” You put your index finger in his chest “I know where you tryna get from this, and im not ending up in your bed” 

“Hermosa” Your heart skipped a beat as Javier pulled you closer, your bodies now touching, his whiskey breath hot against your face. "Believe me," he murmured, his voice dropping to an even huskier tone, "I'm not just trying to get you in my bed. You might not believe this, but I really like you."

A wave of heat washed over you as you looked up into his eyes, wondering if there was more to  his words than just a line. And he was right, you didn’t believe him at all.

“Doesn’t seem like it” You murmur

Javier's gaze deepened as he looked into your eyes, his voice still carrying that sultry undertone. "I like the way you prefer tea over coffee," he began, the words coming out slowly and intentionally, "and how you always drink your jasmine tea in our office. The smell of it wafts through the room, constantly reminding me of you. And your laughter, it sounds like a 5-year-old's - innocent and carefree. But it brings a smile to my face every single time I hear it."

As you giggled and shyly looked away listening to him list the things he liked in you, Javier's smirk widened, his fingers gently catching your chin and turning your face back to him.

"Yes, that's the laugh," he repeated, a hint of amusement in his voice, "the one I was talking about. It's infectious, you know."

Your eyes get lost in his, it’s almost like you can see and learn everything about him just by looking at his brown chocolate eyes. Javier's lips left a trail of gentle pecks on your cheeks, while his words echoed in your ears, sending a surge of heat through your body.

"I like it when you let your hair down," he murmured, "but I also like it when you tie it. I like it when you speak in Spanish," another kiss on your other cheek, "and most of all, I love the way you talk about the things you love."

As his lips hovered millimeters away from yours, leaving you yearning for more, you couldn't resist any longer.

The moment your lips met, an explosion of sensation took over. It was a hungry and passionate kiss, filled with months of built up tension and desire. Your grip on Javier's neck tightened as you pulled him closer, your bodies pressing against each other. His hands found their way to your hips, holding you tight as the kiss deepened. Tongues danced in a greedy, desperate dance, exploring each other's mouths as if trying to devour one another.

It was like an explosion of feelings all together, you felt like your heart could jump out of your chest at any minute. 

Sure you’ve already shared a few kisses with him, but it was always with a second intention, just like that one night you never forget. But this is different, the kiss was slow and deliberate, every movement filled with emotion and desire. Your lips moved in tandem with each other, exploring every inch of the other's mouth. A soft moan escaped your lips as Javier's tongue traced along your lower lip, seeking entrance. You granted it willingly, allowing him to plunge deeper into the recesses of your mouth. The kiss was hungry, but it was also tender, a perfect blend of love and excitement.

You feel your back against one of the bookcases as Javier kisses you more and more. Your hands pull his hair and massage his broad shoulders.

As you pulled your head back, gasping for air, Javier instinctively tried to chase your lips, unwilling to break the connection. He opened his eyes and couldn't help but let out a low growl at the sight of you biting your bottom lip, your eyes still closed in the aftermath of the passionate kiss.

As you opened your eyes and caught sight of his smile, something in your heart flipped, and you knew you were in too deep. "I believe you," you whispered, holding his face gently in your hands, your thumbs gently caressing his jaw.

"But if you really want this," you continued, your voice firm yet tinged with a hint of vulnerability, "you have to try not to mess things up. I'm willing to give you a chance, but I need you to promise me you'll be careful with my heart."

Javier's smile widened even further as you spoke, his heart swelling with a mixture of relief and affection. He leaned into your touch, savoring the feel of your thumbs caressing his jaw, and he nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry, hermosa," he murmured, his voice softer and more genuine than you had ever heard it before. "I won't mess this up, I promise. I'm all in."

Without missing a beat, your lips crashed into each other once more, the passion and intensity of the moment taking over. The world around you faded away as you both become lost in the kiss, the hunger for each other growing stronger with each passing second.

As the kiss deepened, you found yourself pressed up against the shelf, Javier's body pinning you against it as his hands roamed over your body, touching every inch of exposed skin. His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, leaving a trail of hot, hungry kisses along the sensitive flesh. Your bodies instinctively moved closer, creating a delicious friction that sent waves of desire coursing through you. The kiss grew more intense, full of passion and need, as your hands became tangled in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer.

As your fingers tangled in his hair and he continued to kiss and bite at your neck, an unexpected moan escaped your lips. You tried to bite your lip to hold it back, but the sensation of his lips against your skin was too overwhelming to contain. This only fueled Javier's desire, and he let out a low growl in response, one hand on your hips and the other one on you inner thigh pulling your right leg up to his waist.

A shiver ran down your spine as Javier's breath tickled your ear, his hot whispered words sending a thrill of pleasure through your body. "I forgot one thing," he murmured, his teeth gently biting down on your sensitive earlobe. "I love when you moan for me."

His body was still pressed against you, pinning you to the wall, and you could feel the effect your moan had on him, the tension and desire in the air palpable.

Just as Javier's lips were about to descend onto yours once more, the sound of an unwelcome voice called your name, breaking the spell. You both froze as the door handle turned, the wood moving just a fraction before it swung open.

Connie stood in the doorway, her eyes widening in surprise as she took in the scene before her.

"What are you doing - oh my god," she gasped, quickly shutting the door again.

Javier takes a few steps back running his hand through his hair as you smoothed your dress. “Connie?” you ask behind the door and open it seeing her holding your drink. “I… I took a little longer to grab your drink and then i was gonna hand it to you but you weren’t there anymore so i looked for you and-” She spoke nervously trying to process the moment she had just seen. “Ok hm thanks for it by the way” you grab the drink from her hands taking a sip before looking quickly at Javier.

“It’s almost midnight by the way” Connie says leaving the library.

You felt a pair of warm, strong hands gently gripping your waist from behind. Javier's hot breath sent a shiver down your spine as he leaned in close, his lips ghosting over the sensitive flesh of your neck.

"Come on, I want another reason to kiss you," he murmured, his voice low and seductive.

[spartanexperience]

Feeling once again weak for the red old man so Areos hc time

- I have a story in my head for how they got familiar the first time! :) I'll make a more detailed post on that when I get the time, but tl;dr, Eos found and saved an unconscious Ares who had been fighting a powerful enemy, and patched up his injuries as he was bleeding Ichor (celestial blood). Bam, Ares was lovestruck. Then, because Eos had broken her wing while saving Ares, Ares did a rare kind and gentlemanly action, and gave Eos a ride on his chariot UuU Both to help her spread morning dew over the lands, and to ride her back home to Olympus where they could get her wing healed.

- Eos was SO flattered and surprised! Most gods did not usually pay attention to her, since she is only a minor goddess whose whole job is to herald the arrival of the day, of Apollo's chariot. So of course she is most of the time overshadowed by his radiance. Besides...she would have never thought that Ares, the terrifying god of war, could be so sweet and considerate to a lady!

- Ares in the meantime, could not stop thinking about Eos for weeks after the incident - her luminous light, her eyes, her cheeky smile, and the way she had saved him and fought a monster for him. Boy was he down baaaaad. However this all is exactly he was awfully shy about talking to her again, and resorted to avoiding Eos for a while like an absolute loser. Until Athena practically YELLED at him to go talk to Eos again LMAO

- Ares is that super showoffy jock boyfriend who is always trying to impress Eos. Be it fighting monsters in front of her, bringing her war trophies, lifting heavy stuff, you name it. He's that meme of "this one's for you baby" *throws a basketball and it misses the basket*

- Eos giggles and flutters her wings while blushing madly, even when he absolutely fails, because he makes her feel so special. She's been so occupied over the years on just being the morning goddess...she had forgotten how it feels to be loved like this.

- Eos loves to impulsively scoop Ares into her arms and fly. Too bad most of the time he wears his heavy armor, so she struggles flapping her wings LOL but whenever he is rarely in a civil wear, like wearing his pajamas, she will absolutely bridal carry him!

- Due to morning dew, Eos' powers are mostly water based. She tends to playfully splash dew at Ares every now and then. If there's water nearby, Ares will answer by splashing back. Cue a chaotic water splashing fight where they both laugh loudly and Poseidon yells "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP"

- Of course, being the goddess of morning, she is great at cooking breakfast. Ares is usually the one out of the couple who insists on cooking for the family. The "healthy military meals", as he says. But when Eos wants to spoil him and her children, they'll be eating the most high quality shakshouka and wine leaf rolls.

- I haven't remembered to mention this, but Eos is AWFULLY clumsy, whether it's dropping stuff off Olympus by accident, or tripping on her own wings. Which gets dangerous whenever she wants to try Ares' weapons LOL

- Remember that scene in Shrek 4 where Shrek and Fiona bond by playfighting with heavy weapons? Yeah that's Areos energy right there

- Ares often calls her "you crazy woman". With the most lovestruck eyes in the world.

- Listening to "Wild Thing" from the end of Strange Magic always makes me think of Areos too bye

- Like I drew earlier, Eos has a whole army of romantic nicknames for Ares, each one sappier than the last. Ever since the other gods on Olympus heard that, they have been mercilessly pranking Ares over it. Once, when Ares arrived to the Olympus court meeting, his name tag on his seat was "BooBoo Bear". Ares broke the table with his fists

- Eos can be clingy. Every time Ares leaves for a battle, a journey to faraway lands on his chariot, Eos either asks if she can come along, or fusses over packing Ares all sorts of food, healing ambrosia, celestial bandages etc. Deep down, Eos is HORRIBLY scared that something bad will happen to Ares. She does not want to lose him like she lost Astraeus and Tithonus :(

- Often, she puts a happy smile on her face so Ares won't be too worried for her, as she does not want to hold Ares back. But sometimes, after Ares is gone, Astraea hears her mom breaking down into sobs in her room.

- Remember that Homeric myth where a bunch of giants managed to trap Ares and imprison him in an amfora for 13 months straight until Hermes finally found and rescued him?

- Yeah, when that happened, Eos ignored her morning goddess duties entirely, to hysterically fly around Greece and search for Ares, causing dawn to never break and for the world to be stuck in a permanent nighttime, as Apollo was unable to ride his sun chariot. When she could not find Ares, she started to fear that he had died... even the cold Boreas stopped being salty at Ares and went to search for him, once he saw the way his dear mother curled up and sobbed and wailed hopelessly, as Astraea hugged her and tried to comfort her.

- Ares in the meantime?? The myth describes him screaming, howling and thrashing endlessly in the amfora. And so he did, causing the Giants to cover their ears like "holy shit we should have kidnapped the god of calmness instead". The only thing bringing Ares comfort in this claustrophobic, merciless long prison, was thinking of his family back at Olympus... Athena, Eos, Fear and Terror, young Harmonia, the wind quadruplets, Astraea...in a rare moment of hopelessness, he'd sob, wanting nothing more than to be free and get back to them.

- Lmao this got horribly angsty BUT as said before, Hermes found and freed Ares!! Accompanied by Boreas, who ruthlessly, mercilessly destroyed the Giants with a devastating, raging cold hurricane. And then he huffed at Ares "shut up I'm just doing this for my mom, NOT for you"

- Needless to say the reunion of Eos and Ares was heartwarming and passionately romantic 💖💖💖 And of course, both Hermes and Boreas got a CRUSHING hug and massive sloppy kisses on their cheeks by Eos. Hermes also got a permanent access to Eos' storage of figs and olives as a thank you.

[pastself]

Oh man just read the proposal extra and I feel so bad for both of them. Does Tony remember proposing the next day?? Does he at least acknowledge (if only to himself) that he fucked up or is he in such crisis that he can’t even admit it? 😭

[FYI this is in reference to the botched marriage proposal deleted scene from Want for Nothing - which I suggest you read first!]

So, yeah -- it is such a bad situation for both of them. As I mentioned, I have no set thoughts on where this goes next, but let's give answering your questions a go and see where this lands.

First off, Tony would 1000% remember absolutely everything with painful horrific detail. As soon as Peter safeworded out of the whole situation, he came crashing down to reality and basically interpreted that as a breakup. After Peter left with Vision, he let Musk's strippers feed him never-ending shots out of a desperation to remember nothing at all. Or ideally to never wake again.

(He failed.)

When he's finally sober, though, he doesn't know what to do. Peter is gone, not speaking to him, gone off who knows where -- not officially breaking up with him, but also very much *not* in contact.

Sideline -- Peter would have told FRIDAY to tell Tony he needed space and told her to send Tony's personal doctor for a hangover drip.... because he can't not care. (He also sees the horde of strippers making their way into the Tower and, for a miserable moment, considers asking FRIDAY to keep an eye on that -- but he still trusts Tony. At least that far.) (But his mind niggles at him, you trusted Harry too, see how that worked out.) Peter is holed up with Vision in, like, Scotland for his whole breakdown, fwiw, so we skip over any potential "Tony ignores his boundaries" issues.

Back to Tony, once Peter does get back to the city, days will have passed and Tony will have had time to move away from hyper-self-destructive and back to anything-to-fix-this. So he'll do the right thing of pinging Karen and asking to see Peter when Peter has time -- and it will be Peter who sets the terms of that meeting.

Tony will start spitballing suggestions, like they elope or Peter just takes all of his money, even without the marriage. How does full control of SI sound?

But Peter cuts him off -- because the problem isn't money. The problem is everyone else. "And, Tony, if you can't fix that, then there's nothing to fix between us."

Here we devolve into a much more confrontational version of their conversation in Ch9:They Deserve Nothing. Instead of trying to "fix" things with Tony's friends for him, he is asking Tony to do the heavy lifting himself. Which isn't quite fair of Peter, but considering the nightmare Tony just put him through -- and the horrible way he spoke about Peter to his friends -- the burden is now on Tony.

Tony agrees to it all, and doesn't worry about any supposed "unfairness". He tries to initiate physical intimacy with Peter and Peter shuts it down. He's not ready yet. "I need time, Tony. I love you but I-- I need time."

("Tony", not "sweetheart".)

Tony had heard similar words from Pepper before she left him and he thinks, desperate, Not this time. He'll get them back to where they were, he promises himself. He'll go to therapy, he'll take Peter to therapy. He'll beat in every Avengers' head until they stay on straight.

Tony goes to leave and Peter tries to give him the ring back, and that? That cuts like a knife.

"No. It's yours. It's always been yours. Throw it away if you want to but... it's yours."

Peter stares at Tony, considering, and Tony hopes, desperate in a way he hasn't been since a cave in Afghanistan, that he won't be hurt again.

Peter slips the ring back on his finger, and Tony's heart un-clenches.

"I'll keep it, Tony. Always."

Thanks for the inspiring ask @weatheredskies !

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep8: Year of Hell pt 1

I really don't think I've rewatched this since it first aired- I usually ignored it when casually rewatching because I knew it was the one where Voyager nearly falls apart, and everyone's dirty and stressed, and generally having a bad time. But there's entire scenes I didn't remember at all, and they're all very good.

This was the first appearance of the astrometrics lab, which Seven and Harry had been building for the past few eps, which will be a primary set throughout the rest of the show. (Is it me, or did they change the ceiling of it later?? It feels different to me somehow in this ep, maybe just an unusual camera angle? I'll have to look more closely in future eps.) They have a little unveiling ceremony, where the Doctor tries to make a speech, and ends up being so annoying that everyone is glad to be called back to the bridge. (And he's still dunking on Tom- what did he ever do to you, dude?? Y'know, except be a supportive friend to you even though you treat him like crap??)

(RIP to Janeway's magnificent Gibson girl up-do hair once and for all- they cut it very short for this ep, and she wore some version of a bob cut for the rest of the series, which I have never stopped lamenting. She's always gorgeous, but the up-do was perfection. No, I will not be accepting criticism on my very correct opinion.)

The events of this episode were foreshadowed by Kes in 'Before and After' last season, but apparently, everything that Kes told them about it got erased from their memories when she got sent back to the current timeline, because none of them know who the Krenim are here, or that they should avoid them. So they waltz on through Zahl space as the Krenim start erasing the Zahl from the timeline with their time weapon, and they get caught in the crossfire, because of course the Krenim don't want anyone flying through what is now their space. (Literally everybody in the Delta Quadrant is so territorial! How they heck do they have interstellar trade when every alien species they meet is like 'no one is allowed to enter our space!!' Srsly dudes, why do you even have space travel when you're so damn xenophobic?? Why even would their societies actually put in the effort to develop warp capability when they don't want to go anywhere or meet anyone?? It doesn't make sense, but I guess it's necessary for The Plot, so ok, here we go with Xenophobic Delta Quadrant Aliens volume 15! lol)

The lead Krenim baddie is played by Kurtwood Smith, who gives a perfectly fine performance here, but this was right before That 70's Show started, and now, after having watched him in that show for so many years, I cannot unsee Red Foreman whenever he's onscreen. Like, I just keep expecting him to throw off the civil facade and have him angrily tell Janeway to leave Krenim space before he puts his foot in her ass. I'm usually pretty good about separating actors from roles, but Red is so iconic, I just can't, no matter how hard I try, and it's kinda distracting, tbh. But at least that isn't anyone's fault- the guy playing the second Krenim guy, however, is giving such a bad, over the top performance that I really question both the casting director and the episode director on their choices here. He straight up reminds me of the guy from those Liberty Mutual commercials, where it's supposed to be a caricature of a comically bad, good looking actor who can't even get through the simplest lines. Like, that's literally this guy. How could they have cast him, and let him act like that?? Idk, but that particular distraction is absolutely the production team's fault.

So Voyager has to go through Krenim space while under constant attack, and the ship gets beat up more and more each time, with power failing, the hull breaching, debris falling everywhere, things are on fire, everybody's getting injured and dying, nobody is doing okay. Everbody basically becomes the embodiment of the 'This is Fine' meme in this ep, especially Janeway, who's powering through it all by repressing her emotions as much as possible, knowing that she has to singlehandedly hold the crew together through it all. Chakotay has another one of his 'I'm going to disagree with you in the dumbest way possible' moments when he suggests to Janeway that they can't make it with Voyager, so maybe they should all abandon ship and try to get home in escape pods. Janeway's obviously like 'WTF NO CHAKOTAY' because she's not abandoning ship, ever, and she's not breaking up the family (she straight up just calls the crew 'the family' now, it's not even subtext anymore) and they'd be way less likely to get home scattered in tiny escape pods. To which Chakotay's like 'lol, that's fine, I didn't think it was that good of an idea, I just wanted to give you shit for no reason suggest it haha', as if that wasn't a mean and deranged thing to say to the most stressed out captain in Starfleet. (She must love that man so damn much to put up with that bs, good lord.) He decides to be nicer later, and gives her a pocket watch for her birthday, which she tells him to recycle because they need the replicator rations. He tells her he replicated it months ago before the Krenim attacked and he's been saving it for her, but she still won't take it, even though she's obviously moved by the thought he put into it. Maybe if you stop questioning her judgement she'd accept your gifts, you dumbass. It's a rather heartbreaking scene, since Janeway is clearly stifling her emotions just get by after months of attacks, when she no longer knows what the date even is to remember it was her birthday in the first place.

There's lots of heartbreaking little scenes in this one- the Doctor having to let two crewman die as he evacuates his patients from sickbay, knowing the hull is about to breach and they won't reach the hatch in time; Harry and B'Elanna playing a trivia game to pass the time and distract her from her injury while they're trapped in a turbolift waiting to be rescued; Tom triaging wounded and lingering with B'Elanna even once she's stabilized, clearly worried about her; Seven acting as a guide for Tuvok after he's blinded in an explosion while retrieving her from a jeffries tube, where she'd stayed back to find the phase variance of an unexploded chronoton torpedo. (The same one Kes did in 'Before and After', though the radiation doesn't seem to be a problem in this timeline, for some reason.) So many excellent slices of the crew soldiering on, and pulling eachother along through sheer force of will, with their dedication to each other and their mission to get home all they have to keep them going.

Seven's discovery of the phase variance on the Krenim torpedo allows them to create a defense against it. When the main Krenim baddie uses his temporal weapon to try to erase another enemy planet from the timeline, and ends up erasing half the Krenim empire instead, Voyager sustains no damage from the shockwave, which draws the main Krenim baddie's attention. He realizes Voyager's presence somehow messed up his calculations, and he kidnaps two of Voyager's crew to interrogate, and threatens to destroy the nearly crippled Voyager if they get in his way.

Captain Janeway finally, reluctantly decides to let the majority of the crew take escape pods to evade the Krenim as long as they can while she stays on Voyager with the senior officers as a skeleton crew to try to get Chakotay and Paris back from their Krenim kidnappers, and to find a way to get Voyager through Krenim space in one piece to rendevous with the rest of the crew on the other side. The last shot is the escape pods leaving Voyager, which I think was maybe the first time we'd seen escape pods launched en masse from a Starfleet ship, which was a pretty heartbreaking cliffhanger to end the episode on. I'm honestly surprised this was a mid-season two parter and not a season closer/opener, but at the time, I'm sure I was glad to only have to wait a week to find out what happened next instead of a whole summer.

Tl;dr: A sad but well done disaster-type story where the crew is pushed to the brink, with a devastating cliffhanger.

[thedemonprincezephyr]

The Prince of Shadows- The Never Ending Legacy of the Void pt. 2

 There it was, my home, engulfed in shadow. Ethereal cracking in the ground protruding from the house splintered in every direction, seemingly spinning into tendrils of dark matter. Other than the 'breathing' the ground was doing, and the black-light sun, nothing else in the world seemed to be effected by the shadow. I stood there in awe for a moment trying to gather myself long enough to go inside the building. Just as I was standing there, my friend Sam appeared next to me.

     Samuel was a strapping young lad, about 6 feet, 22 years old like me; Toned muscle wrapped around his body, carving out his silhouette. His piercing blue eyes, like marbles derived of the ocean, stared at me worryingly.  

    "Levi......LEVI!" his voice seemed like it was rapidly approaching from a distance. Just as he started yelling to get my attention I snapped out of my trance and looked at him.

    "Huh?" I verbally auto-replied. "What's up dude, what are you doing here?" I cheerfully ask as I bring him in for a hug.

"We had a thing tonight, remember? We were supposed to go meet up with Damon and his crew for the show and bar" he paused a moment. "Are you okay, man?" His worried tone shook me to my core,  "You were just standing here staring at your house for a minute."  

"Y-yeah..." I began saying, then realized that at some point everything had gone back to normal, "Yeah I'm cool, man" Lying through my teeth so Sam wont press about it further, knowing him it would be an all-day conversation if I had let myself get into it. How was I supposed to even begin to explain what just happened to me? "S-sorry about the, uh, the show... I was excited for it just got... side-tracked. Still wanna  go for a drink? I'll buy if you drive."

"Nah man it's cool, Damon's friends weren't saying the best things about you, assholes if you ask me." he brushed it off like it was nothing. This isn't new, people tend to have a general dislike for my presence most of the time. I'm not much of a talker to people I don't know so when I go out, I kind of just...exist. So naturally, the "quiet-kid" trope gets thrown at me a lot. I've learned to mostly ignore it but it still gets to me. How could it not?

I invited Sam in for a couple drinks and offered to throw a movie on or to play video games, and we chose a movie. It was Halloween season, so naturally we opted for a scary movie to watch. I chose my favorite: As Above So Below. Just after the scene where they had to crawl through the tight, bone-filled hole, I excused myself to the restroom. As I finish washing my hands and reach to turn off the light, something felt very off, a heaviness filling the air, like an intuitive warning. Obviously I chocked it up to my anxiety getting the better of me, so I shrugged it off. 

I sat back down next to Sam, slumping into the couch cushion, watching the screen intently. The crew in the movie traverses the hell-scape of the tunnels underneath Paris, and they reached the final room where they discover that they needed to go back through everything again. As the main character re-lived all of the terror she had just gone through, I looked over to Sam as this was his first time watching, so I wanted to know what his reactions were. What I saw was the shape of a face, and two impossibly deep, void-like holes affixed to the screen. His facial features, the cute button nose, the warm, gentle smile he carries on his face, now nothing but a rounded, fleshy mannequin face, albeit the holes...

The creature that replaced Sam jerked its gaze in my direction, as the two voids made eye contact with mine, the world around me dissipated like dust in the breeze. The shadow of the void started to contort and disfigure the creature, its jaw widened like it was screaming in pain, but no noise could escape its form. It engulfed the thing until it, and everything around me was a void. The gut-wrenching feeling of nothingness consumed me in a whirlwind of panic, but alas, I too couldn't make a sound, like someone had stolen my ability to speak. Suddenly I blinked and was transported to my car, on the side of the highway, staring into the "sun" again. I shook my head in confusion. Darting back to my car, but as I sat down in the driver's seat, I looked up to find a clone of myself staring right back at me, those same voids replaced my eyes as they did Sam's. I sped home like my life depended on it, because for all I knew, it did. 

This time, my house wasn't shrouded in shadow like before. This time, for all I knew it was normal; And again, as if rehearsed, I stood there in awe of the lack of something wrong. And Sam Snapped me out of it again, but this time as I turned to look at him, we were sitting on the couch, in my house, watching the credits of the movie roll across the screen. 

"Where do you go when you do that?" he asked, as if a doctor asking for symptoms. 

"I.... I really don't know." Okay, obviously I knew but I can't tell him. I loved him too much to rope him into my troubles. Plus, any normal person would send me straight to the psych ward had I told them. So what? I'm just supposed to sit there and bear the strange happenings as if they were any other day?

|T   h   a  t  s     c o r r e c t|

Sam left and I sat there nearly going mad trying to figure out what the hell today was. You can't keep doing this to me 

| I     d    o        a    s        I       w      i      s     h     p     3     a     s  4 n      t |

No... nope, not doing this today. I went to the kitchen and slugged a few gulps of liquor before going to bed. I hit my dab pen a couple times so that I would fall asleep faster. Have you ever been falling asleep and feel as if you're actually falling? I fell for what seemed like forever, waiting for the ethereal ground or jolt to wake me but instead the falling sensation slowed, and slowed, until it felt like floating in space (or at least what I assumed the feeling to be). I could see myself, my arms, legs, torso, but nothing else. I tried pinching myself to see if I was awake, definitely was. I wasn't able to move. Just breathe. The feeling of dread washing over me.  This is it. This is where I die. A life of being in the shadow wasn't enough and now I'm going to die in a literal shadow. How ironic.

[browneyes-issac]

Memphis pt 6: My protector

Frankie Morales x f!reader

Warnings: fluffy cuteness. Protective Frankie. Asshole family. Mention of addiction,non descriptive, just mentioned. Make out sessionnnn!!! I think that's it. If I missed anything, please fell free to shoot me a DM or ask. 💞

AN: Ok so in July I had to go to a family thing. I have never known why but when I'm at family things, I am always hiding next to my mom and anytime I try to speak or be included in conversations.. I am always ignored. So this time around, I was really irritated with my aunt and some of her family that came over ( she's my adoptive aunt, btw.) So I instantly thought, I really wish I had Frankie or one of the Pedro boys here to comfort me, etc. So I started this series. 💞 As I say in the last paragraph in this, I'll explain what I changed, etc for the story a bit in my second AN.

I don't remember if there is an actual name for his kid in the movie.. Soooo we are naming her Nola.

Just like I've been doing I left some parts open for you to imagine what happens next. 💞

There is a part where I talked about Frankie, I went into a lot of detail because it looked sooo cute in my head sooo I wanted to get all the details for ya.. 🤣💞

Ok so.. This is my first time using dividers, Idk the appropriate amount to use/when the use them.. 😆 So I just decided to do them when the scene changes. I hope it'll make sense how I did it, lol. 🤗💞

Ok so the big part... I changed it around like 96%. There is some stuff that actually happened ( I'll put it in my after reading AN) and then I added in stuff that I think would have happened if I actually had my own Frankie there, meaning a boyfriend that is two + decades older then me. Will add something else to the end AN about a part in it, also. 💞

I decided not to have anyone read through this.. Just throwing it in the universe and running away. 💞🏃💨 too nervous about this part.. 🙈😆

Some keynotes/translations:

When there is words in this font and have (") it is internal thoughts. When it is the font by itself it's me describing what the setting looks like, more in depth of what's going in their head, stuff like that. 😊

All translation is from Spanish. I just went to Google and asked what it was in Spanish, lol. If I got it wrong shot me an ask or a DM. 🤗

Mi Cielito - my darling

hermosa - beautiful

cariño - sweetheart

Summary: Frankie gets to meet your family.

Inspo of the gif ~ this the best I could find that captures how he looks in my head during the part in this where he's saving the day for reader.

( being very blunt and no context at all with that I know... But it'll make sense after you read. 💞 )

Memphis masterlist

Main masterlist

Around three months of you guys being together you guys decided randomly that you both were ready to tell each other the reasons you moved to Memphis.

It just came up out of the blue one day, but both of you trust each other unconditionally and feel safe sharing that kind of stuff about yourselves.

~

You go first.

Frankie listens so patiently. You still don't understand how he does it with how bad you ramble, but that makes you love him even more.

He asks questions here and there. Gets defensive at times also. Just like you, he doesn't understand why family members have to be such assholes.

But in the end he is so understanding of everything. Why you think its annoying people when you ramble. He thinks it's endlessly adorable. Why you are very shy around anyone, especially the boys. Which you're getting better at feeling more comfortable. Frankie told them why one day while he was out with them, you're ok with it, because you know he'll always protect you and the boys would never do anything to hurt you. Among other things. He always takes his time with you in any aspect of anything, makes sure you're doing ok, etc.

Frankie's turn

You are kinda shocked.

He had told you about his daughter, Nola like the second week of dating because he had to go out of town to visit her.

But the addiction shocked you, only because he is such a sweetheart and you would never had thought he had one in the past.

You absolutely don't look at him different. He's still your sweet goofy Frankie.

He was so so nervous while he was telling you and more so after he finished. Because you had a neutral facial expression and you took a little while to answer him..

But of course you reassured him that he was safe and always will be safe with you. That he can talk to you about anything that bothers him and when he is having urgers to relapse.

You and Frankie have been together for about six months now. You're practically living at his house now. The job at the vintage store is going amazing, you're already manager. Best thing you ever did was move to Memphis. It's been absolutely fantastic and everything. Still have to make plans to go to Graceland though, cost a lot so got to save up ; but you aren't in a rush to get there.

One day you get an a Facebook invitation to an event. It's for your aunt's birthday. Yours is 10 days before hers, but ya know she has to be the most important thing during the month, so yours always gets over looked unless it's a big number. So youve always held a grudge against her for that, always kept to yourself because you don't want to cause a fight.

You're sitting on the couch reading what it is. You instantly groan in irritation while pinching the bridge of your nose.

" mi cielito, is everything ok? " Frankie says as he's walking into the living room with your snacks and drinks for the movie night you're having.

It has became a tradition for you two. Every Friday you have a movie night. Get all the goodies and pick out a few movies for the night.

Tonight it is Over the Top, Dirty Dancing, Top gun.

" yeah I guess. Just family crap.. Let's watch the movies, I don't wanna talk about it. " you say with a smile that isn't very reassuring, Frankie can instantly tell something is up and it's bothering you.

" you know you can always talk to me mi amor. Always gonna be safe with me. Will have to be a lotttt to me to run away screaming. " he says with that precious smile that melts your heart because he is saying hes here for you always just with his facial expression. And while he's caressing your legs that you draped over his lap once he sat down, then leans over and kisses your cheek and forehead, then sneaks a little peck to your lips.

" you're so lucky I love you. " You say while smiling that smile that is only held for Frankie. Then you playfully hit him with a pillow.

You show him your phone. He let's out a little huff because he knows how much your family irritates you. You tell him all about her because she hasn't ever came up in your discussions about family.. He is flabbergasted that she acts like such a child and she's twice your age. Most definitely is on your side and dislikes her just as much as you do.

" no way I'm letting you go to that by yourself. I'm coming with you. Itll be fun to see your hometown. " he says with such a warm smile then it fades into a teasing one in the second part. Because ya know he's a brat.

You just look at him in shock... He almost gets worried because you haven't said anything but then you leap forward and kiss and hug him.

" what is this for, hermosa? " he says while cuddling up closer to you as you crawl into his lap to be even closer.

I just.. I love you so much. I seriously don't know what the hell I did to deserve you. You are always so sweet and amazing to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a dream because it feels so beautiful and I don't even know a word, just so perfect. " you say while tearing up a bit because it's just so crazy but magical that you have Frankie.

He pulls you closer and kisses your tears away then says; " I feel the same way all the time. You're way out of my league, soooo damn gorgeous, wayyyy to good to me. But you're stuck with me cariño, as long as you'll have me. "

~

You guys make plans to go; get work off, you decide to take your car since we know it can make the trip already, get all the things you need packed, book a hotel, get your aunt a present. ( even though she doesn't deserve one)

It's finally time to go.

You're pretty excited for the trip. It's your first long trip with Frankie so you're excited for more fun and goofy stuff on the way. Maybe some spicy stuff since it's a twenty hour drive. 😏

But there is a good amount of nervousness. You're worried your family won't like Frankie or approve of him. Since he is twenty-four years older then you. There is a little bit of hope they won't be too flabbergasted by it, you have always liked and had crushes on older men; so maybe you won't have to worry about it...

Then there is this thing... You haven't told any family about him.. Youve mentioned you're seeing someone, just no details or pictures. The reason so is, because ya just know someone is gonna have an opinion about the age gap or that you jumped into a relationship so quickly after moving to Memphis, there is endlessly possibilities. Sooo you just kept it to yourself so nothing can ruin the amazingness.

You get to town finally. The nerves are in full swing now. It ended up being your turn to drive when it got to last bit. Which is ok since its your home town. And... It's an excuse to see Frankie sleeping.

~

He is the most adorable sleeper. Since he was in the military, he is able to sleep anywhere; since the sleeping places were always so uncomfortable. So in other words he passes out completely anywhere and in any position.

Your favorite ones, always have to take a picture to save the moment. You make a mental note that at some point you want to make a collage of them.

~

Of course this time it's a picture perfect one. Still buckled up. ( gotta stay safe of course) He has the seat leaned all the way back. Stole your comfort travel pillow without you even realizing it and is cuddling with it. Little did you know he grabbed it to sleep with because it smells like you which brings him comfort, and it is sooooo comfy and floofy. And his hat is pushed down all the way to his nose to hide away the sun. But now it's pushed up all goofy like because he's cuddled deeper into your pillow.

You pull over on the side of the highway right out of town to wake him up so he can have the full experience, lol.

You take the picture with the biggest smile on your face from seeing him look so adorable. Your heart always swells 1000x bigger because you love him more then words and can never get over how nice and sweet he is to you.

Then you lean over to take off his hat. Smoothly and sweetly caresse his hair out of his face. Give some sweet delicate kisses to slowly wake him up. When youre done giving him kisses you lightly rock him to wake him up while saying; " sweetie we are here outside of town. Do you want to wake up so you can see? "

He cuddles into your touch while lovingly humming at your warm comforting touch. " hmmm. Sure, hermosa. He yawns and stretches some. That was the best nap I've ever had in a car before. " he says while chuckling and fulling sitting up.

After he is sat up and back to a comfortable position in the seat he leans over and gives you a kiss. It's sweet and delicate at first then turns a little steamy.

He hums at how your lips feel and how they always feel like heaven, even after being with you for six months he still isn't used to them.

Then he slowly moves his hand to your neck to craddle your neck and lower cheek. You instantly put one hand in his curls ( can never get enough of them). And the other hand goes to his torso and caresse all over. You of course let him in when he ask to enter your mouth. Instantly releasing a mixture of a moan and whimper at how amazing and skilled he is with his tongue. Never get tired of that, he's such an evil god at using it.

That goes on for about five minutes or longer, it feels like forever. It always does because you both are alwaysss so focused on each other and in love.

" ok as much as I want to keep doing this, especially after the long drive.. We really need to get settled in at the hotel. Then we can go explore wherever you want my love. " you say slightly out of breath. As you say the exploring part you playfully pinch his nose and smile a bit. Because you know he's dying to see your hometown.

You run through the basics of showing him around. He asks questions here and there. After you're done you ask him if he wants to see anywhere in particular. Thinks for a second then adorably says your favorite get away when you needed to do so. You get choked up a little bit at that, because it is one of the things you love about Frankie, he always asks such deep but meaningful questions that make you fall for him even more. You agree to show him.

" now don't make fun of me because of the odd randomness of it. " You tell him as you're pulling up to a cemetery. You nervously giggle while saying it.

" mi cielito, is this where you kill me?? " he says in a joking worrisome voice while dramatically ( but adorably) clutching his heart.

" oh totally, sweetness. I got a spot and everything for ya. " you say while wiggling your eye brows all goofy and then winking.

After that you both burst into a laughing fit. Yeah it's an odd place but it makes sense after you tell him why.

" I've always loved being in nature and have been fascinating about cemetery things. Like the badass headstones people get, the different resting places you can choose to be laid, the creepy but cool ways Hollywood showed them. All kinds of things. One day I went to visit a family friend at this cemetery, I hadn't seen his headstone in person yet. When I was walking away I noticed how crappy the grass looked, two metal ones sinking into the ground, and how many things just looked sad. So I decided to see what was required to become a groundskeeper here and I did all the requirements, and became one when I was 18. There is something so soothing about doing grounds work and taking care of these people, so I always felt at peace here. Even before I started working here, I always came to walk around saying hellos to all the groups I passed and when I had the time I would always go and get flowers for everyone in the cemetery. Because ya never know who doesn't get visitors, so I always wanted to be nice and give them something sweet, I still did it even working there. You probably think I'm crazy but it's true I always feel so peaceful here no matter what... " you tell him after you have parked at the groundskeeper house.

He just sits there listening to you so intently and lovingly. You think you've just word vomited the most you've ever done to him, and think he's gonna be weirded out. Little did you know he thought it was the sweetest thing ever and loved you had something so unique for yourself to have a safe place.

He grabes your hands from your lap where you're nervously fiddling with them and says; I don't think you're crazy at all, cariño. Yes it's different but it is beautiful in its own way. You helped the place look more colorful and comforting. I bet if we could talk to the residents here they would say such wonderful things about you mi amor. " he then leans over to give you a reassuring kiss on the cheeks, nose, and then your lips.

You smile into the kiss and let a tear run down your cheek from feeling so loved and everything from this angel of a man..

It's time to go the party.

As you walk into the house, its already a little crowed. You forgot how much crap your aunt has in her house, plus her family.. Will always blow your mind how they live there. No one really pays mind to you because the family that sees you first are ones that don't really care about anything or saying hi like a polite person..

As soon as you get to the kitchen you can hear your aunt talking a mile a minute about her new obsession, you don't even care enough to listen what is. You go say hi to her and your mom, and introduce Frankie to them.

They both have a shocked look on their faces. You already know what they are thinking which causes you to tense up. Which Frankie sees and comes to hug you and ground you so you won't loose it this early.

" Y/N sweetie! I've missed youuu!! I didn't expect you to bring your boyfriend. But I'm happy to meet him. " your aunt says in a very fake excited voice. Which causes you to Internerly scream at her. 😤

~

The party is going as normal as they always do when it comes to parties in your family. You tucked away in a corner, practically invisible to everyone. At least Frankie is here to keep you company and help it not be as bad.

You think to yourself as you're looking up at Frankie, because he's holding you all protective like; " I am so thankful to have you, idk what I would have done here if you weren't with me. My handsome savior. " you smile and then cuddle into Frankie some more because he's the best cuddler ever and you always feel so soo safe wrapped up in his arms.

" what are you thinking about mi amor? " he says with that sweet like honey comforting voice while kissing the top of your head and nuzzling your neck, then leaves a few kisses there.

You tell him what you were thinking about. He smiles and has that look in his eyes that says he loves you endlessly and he's always gonna be here for you no matter what. You lean up and give him a kiss, a kiss that says thank you infinitely and I love you endlessly.

~

Some more time passes, it's time to eat. You and Frankie get up to get food. He is behind you hugging you while you make your plates. Giving you kisses along your neck all cute like and soothingly caressing you where his hands lay.

You go and sit down to eat. But you hear someone say something in a whisper; " he's so much older then her.. Why did she bring him? There has to be something fishy going on there. I just know it. " it's your aunt talking to her husband your uncle.

Frankie looks at you. Sure enough you have that broken look on your face. The one that he knows is caused by something that hurts you deep. So he reassuringly rubbs your back and then takes your hand and says;

" I know this is the first time we are meeting, probably will be the last after I say what Im about to. Why does it matter our age gap? We are infinitely happy, we both are adults. Can't you just be happy for your niece for once? And for your information, I came with her so this lame fucking party would at least be a little bearable. Unlike every other party she's told me about, that she's always in the corner pretty much being ignored. You all are real assholes to Y/N, she doesn't deserve what you guys put her through. And I'm gonna always try to prove and show her that real family doesn't do this shit.

Let's go hermosa. "

He ofers his hand for you to take so you guys can leave. You don't even say anything, you're in shock but have so much love and adoration for him right now for standing up for you like that. Because you could never be that brave.

Your aunt on the other hand... She's utterly shocked.. You don't stay around to see what she has to say. You guys make it out of the house before she's able to say anything.

Frankie is still fuming when you get to the car. You're in shock but surprisingly ok. Because somehow that happening lifted such a weight off of your shoulders.

He looks over to you and grabs your hand and says; " Y/N, baby. I'm so sorry I did that.. I just couldn't take hearing her say that after you telling me everything they've put you through.. I hope your not made at me. " as he finishes the last sentence he stutters a little bit from holding back from crying because he starts to think that you'll he mad at him and will break up with him. Pretty much all things bad, he's thinking them in that short time.

" oh my goodness sweetie. No no you didn't do anything wrong and I'm not mad at you one bit. I'm very impressed and love you even more. You know why my love? He looks at you with such a worried face, but it's going away slowly. He sniffles a little and says what? in such a small whisper. Fuck them. I've been wanting to do that for years but I've been to scared that the family I am on somewhat good terms with will hate me for it. So in other words.. Thank you for being my protector, my savior, my angel, my everything. I love you x infinity and beyond Fransisco Morales. " as you are saying the everythings part you're getting all teary eyed. Then when you say the I love you, you lean over and give him such a beautiful loving kiss to show him you aren't mad one bit and you love him so so much.

After you've kissed for a little while, Frankie breaks it and says; " you think they'll want me to come to Christmas with you? " you both start laughing hysterically.

" oh I bet so, you made such a great impression. " you say between giggles.

" hey. I love you endlessly and infinitely. You deserve so much love and people that love you and care about you. You are always gonna have a place with me and my family. Yeah it's just the boys, me, and Nola. But hey we make it work and you will always be safe with us.

Now, let's go back to the hotel and get some rest and we can leave in the morning. How's that sound mi cielito? " he says while looking into your eyes and holding your hands the whole time rubbing reassuring sweet circles. Then kisses both of them when he's done talking.

" how do you always know how to make me speechless mister? I don't even know what to say. But yes let's go get some rest and then go home my love. " you lean over to him again and give him a kiss on the cheek and then a deeper one on his lips.

The end for now. 💞

AN after reading: ok so. Continuation of what I changed and such.. The birthday things is actually true, she has always been like that. Everything is about her no matter what. I won't bore you with more details about her. I do truly wish I could stand up to her, yes she has great aunt qualities but her assholeness over powers it sooooo much.

The cemetery thing. I do want to do that one day, lol. The visiting a family friend part actually happened. The cemetery is just so sad looking and it made me upset that day. Wanted to go complain and ask for a job that day... 😆😆

This was really really therapeutic to do. I hope you guys liked it. 💞 I still am blown away that I decided to start writing and how much I've done. 🥂 here's to more adventures! 💞

This is not the end of this series. But I might take a break from it to work on some other ideas I got brewing. 💞 I just wanted to thank you all that have shown love this story and my work in general. It means the worldddd to me! 🥰 I'll never be as amazing as all of you, but I'm truly honored I get to be here to share and read these stories with you all. 💞

I do apologize that it is mostly from readers point of view, I didn't show an equal amount of Frankie's. But like I've said a million times.. 😆 this was me word vomiting in a therapeutic way.. 🙈💞

Taglist : @supernaturalgirl20 @heythere-mel @stxrrylunatic @prolix-yuy

If you'd like to be added or removed. Just shot me an ask or dm. 💞

Got questions about the story or an idea for a new one? Well requests are open! Here's the rules for them.

[fanmoose12]

a little something for @bruciesnat :) i know i've promised it like a lifetime ago, sorry for the delay! oh, and i decided to combine it with a prompt i also received a long while ago <3

Mike doesn't know why he's doing this. Doesn't understand how he agreed to it, can't comprehend why Erwin would make him do it. Mike doesn't know what he had done to deserve this- this punishment.

He's- he's a good man. An honest one. He serves to ensure the future of humanity, he risks his life to give others a better one.

He's good at it too, he's excellent at fighting and slashing and scouting. He was the best one at it, before- before the annoying midget came.

The same annoying midget, who is insanely strong and easily irritated. The same annoying midget, who has a crush on their adorable Hange. Hange, who Mike has to seduce to test Erwin's theory that Levi, insanely strong, easily irritated Levi, truly has a crush on their Hange.

Mike swallows heavily as he sits next to Hange, just a little too close as Erwin instructed. He smells that it won't end well.

He cringes, as he puts his arm around her shoulders.

Mike likes Hange, a lot actually. Sometimes he feels like they're siblings that were torn apart by some bigger entity. So yeah, he likes Hange. But definitely not like that.

But, oh well, anything for the cause, right?

"Hey, Hans," he murmurs, adopting his most seducting tone. He hopes that his smile is charming enough to captivate their dear scientist. "Are you free tonight? I have two tickets to the theater perfomance," he leans in closer, lowering his voice to what could probably (Mike is an eternal optimist!) be called an enticing whisper. "They're showing the creation of the the Walls tonight."

Somewhere on his periphery, Mike can see a swift dark shadow that oozes the smell of detergent. That shadow, it grows closer, its aura becoming more menacing.

Mike can only hope that if Levi attempts to kill him, Erwin would intervene.

Although... knowing Erwin, he'd just write Mike's death off as a necessary sacrifice.

He takes his hand off Hange. The shadow retreats a few steps back.

"Sorry, Mike," Hange shrugs with a small, apologizing smile. "I showed that play to Levi a few weeks ago. I had my fill of religious propaganda for now. But if you're looking for someone to accompany you," she winks and turns around. Mike's heart sinks. "Levi really liked going to the theatre! He'll be happy to tag along, right, Levi?"

Mike meets Levi's eyes, and sees nothing but desire for murder inside.

Mike quickly scrambles to his feet. "You know, I'll just ask Gelgar to go with me. I'm sure he doesn't have anything better to do."

And they can get wasted afterwards. Mike really needs that after this conversation.

Just as he retreats, Levi takes his place, sitting down next to Hange, also just a little too close.

The mission had failed spectacularly, but, Mike consoles himself, at least he learned that Hange and Levi went to theatre together. And sometimes intel is more important than the victory, right?

Ah, if only Erwin would share his opinion on that.

***

Erwin's second attempt is even worse than the first one, but, at least, this time it doesn't directly involve Mike. Still, he's an unwilling spectator to it, and, just as the last time, he doesn't like where all of this is going.

He already feels bad for the poor guy Erwin hired to hit on Hange during the annual military ball. Where did Erwin get the money - did he take them from the Corps' funds or his own allowance, Mike doesn't know, and, frankly, he isn't sure which option is more disturbing.

At least, the actor is handsome, Mike doesn't know if Hange would like him, he doesn't know if she has a type, and if she does, he hopes it's not annoying midgets, but the guy is handsome, there is no denying that.

Hange has cleaned up fairly well too, the white suit looks excellent on her, bringing out all of her best assets, demonstrating her wide hips and lean, long legs. The hair, gathered in a neat bun, shows her long, gorgeous neck, and the light make-up make her even more gorgeous than usual.

When she and Erwin walked through the front door - him in his blue suit and Hange in her white, symbolising their Wings of Freedom, everyone had their breath taken away.

Even Mike was a little shocked to see Hange dressed up like this, and Levi, who stood right next to him, was completely blown away, staring at Hange with wide-eyed, lovestruck look.

Thanks to Levi's ridiculous expression, Mike now understands why Erwin goes to such length to bring their resident weirdos together. It is delightful to watch Levi behave like that, and Mike longs to see more of this side of him.

Soon after Hange and Erwin make their grand entrance, their guy makes the first move.

He approaches Hange, his eyes bright and smile so charming it makes Mike envious that Hange is at the receiving end of it. He kisses her hand, whispers something in her ear.

"He praises her recent experiment. I thought it was a good place to start," Erwin explains quietly to him.

"Ah," Mike nods. So Erwin thought every detail through? Not surprising at all. "Think this would have an effect on Levi?"

"It already does," Erwin says, pointing to a furious cloud of black hair and suit that is approaching them at a rapid speed.

"Has four-eyes lost all shame?" Levi practically growls, his eyes throwing flames. "Is she seriously flirting with a fucker from the MP?"

"He's not a soldier," Mike answers, reciting a legend Erwin created. "He's actually a wealthy merchant from the South. Heard he sells apples to the King himself."

"And since when Hange is interested in someone like him," Levi crosses hands on his chest, his glare turning even darker, as Erwin's actor takes Hange by the hand and leads her to the dance floor.

"You know, you can ask Hange to a dance," Erwin advices with a pleased smile. "Then she won't be able to flirt with others."

Levi scoffs. "I would rather fight a horde of titans than dance with stinky four-eyes."

Maria, Rose and Sina, Mike thinks. They're worse than children.

"Hange has taken a bath before coming here," he tells Levi.

Levi rolls his eyes. "And now she looks even more awful than usual."

Mike shares a look with Erwin. Does Levi prefer usual Hange, when she doesn't bath for days and her eyes water from the lack of sleep? It almost sounds cute.

"This is the last time I'm attending this shitty ball," Levi swears to Erwin. "Even wine here is shitty."

He marches away immediately after that, heading to the table with wine. Mike can barely stop his laughter, as he watches Levi take a glass of wine, drink a few large gulps of it, and then wince, his mouth moving as he probably murmurs violent curses. He doesn't take his eyes off Hange and her dance partner, and relaxes only when the song ends.

Both Mike and Erwin watch intently as the actor kisses Hange's hand once again. Hange blushes, and Mike almost coos. Levi grabs another glass of wine.

When the actor starts leading Hange away, in the direction of the balcony, Levi starts moving too. He intercepts them just at the edge of the ballroom.

Mike knows he should have expected something like that, knows that Levi doesn't exactly possess the best of manners, but pouring wine over someone? Over his own colleague and friend? Mike certainly didn't expect that.

He's delighted to see what happens next, though.

What happens is that Hange's gorgeous white suit is ruined and Levi wraps his hand around her wrist and drags her to the bathroom. He sports a unusually pleased expression and Hange is laughing herself silly.

Not a bad ending to this endeavor, Mike thinks.

"Another disaster," Erwin sighs.

***

Third time is a charm, or so Mike hopes.

This time Erwin decides to take matter in his hands, and that another sign that this plan will succeed.

The plan is simple, yet, hopefully, effective. Erwin is to whisk Hange away to some remote location, create a scene that would look like a moment between lovers, and Mike is to call Levi there and make sure he witnesses it all.

Erwin is a brave man, Mike thinks, as his Commander explains the plan to him. He would never dare to do something like that to humanity's strongest. To awaken his jealous streak... Mike is glad he's not in Erwin's place.

One sunny afternoon, the plan is set in motion. Erwin takes Hange, and Mike goes to find Levi.

He finds him fairly quickly, in the middle of cleaning Hange's room. Man, he could at least try to make his crush be less discreet. But that's beside the point now, because Levi is cleaning Hange's room and not watching Erwin and Hange. Mike confidently strides up to him.

"Levi! I've just been looking for you."

"What do you need?" he asks boringly. "And have you seen four-eyes? I can't find her all day."

Erwin prepared some legend, a reason why Mike needs Levi, but in the heat of the moment, Mike can't remember a single word. So he just yells "Come with me!" and hope that Levi follows.

Thankfully, he does.

Mike leads him to the stables, where Erwin is already at it. His palm is on the wall, next to Hange's head, and from Mike's point of view, it certainly looks like they're in the middle of... something naughty.

Next to him, Levi tenses, and Mike can practically hear his teeth grinding.

Mike prepares for something very ugly, but then...

"I- I didn't know that Erwin and four-eyes-" oh, fuck, it sounds like Levi is genuinely sad, like he's heartbroken or something. Mike feels a strange desire to hug the little guy and pat his head. But then he remembers that he and Erwin are the reason for Levi's distress right now, and... remorse starts kicking in.

"Levi, listen, it's not-"

"Levi!"

As always, Hange is the one to save the day.

She breaks free from Erwin and sprints to Levi, a wide smile on her face. "You won't believe what Erwin had just told me! He gave me permission to go in the town's library and bring back all the books I want! I'm in dire need of your muscles, humanity's strongest, you'll go with me, right?"

Levi still seems grouchy, but under Hange's sunny grin, his angry facade crumbles. "I don't know if Commander will allow it..."

He doesn't even try to hide his bitterness and irration. Mike disguises his chuckle as a coughing fit.

"Erwin!" Hange turns to him, eyes pleading. "Can Levi go with me?"

"Sure," Erwin nods. "Take all the time you need."

Hange yells in triumph, loud enough to make Mike wince. She grabs Levi by the hand and drags him away. Erwin watches them with a wistful smile.

"I don't think we should get involved in their relationships," Mike says, as he approaches Erwin. He stands close to his Commander, their shoulders pressing against each other. "We should let them figure it out themselves."

"Agreed," Erwin says. "I'm sure they'll manage well enough even without us."

Mike watches Hange wrap her arm around Levi, and is inclined to agree. They will certainly manage without them both.

Or, at least, Hange is able to manage.

And that should be enough.

[1plus1kiyoomi]

Chapter 19: ILYSB

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PLAY THIS FOR EXTRA FEELS

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You drive to the farm and see Kita’s truck already parked. Getting out of the car, you see Kita smile at you. Quickly, you run to him then give him a hug. The only light source you have is that one beanpole, the stars and the moon, but Kita is shining as always. “Alisa is going to kill me for meeting you here.”

“Atsumu warned me so many times not to see you, too,” Kita chuckles, embracing you tightly. “It felt so wrong not seeing you for a day.”

“Save that for later,” you warn him, putting a finger over his lips. Kita wants to tell you so many things but you’re right, he should save it for your wedding vows. “I know we’re already married but actually having the wedding feels like I’m getting married again.”

“I’ll marry you everyday if you want,” Kita tells you, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “Can we practice our first dance? I’m nervous.”

You put your hands together and you lead the dance, guiding him all throughout. “It feels weird without the music,” you comment and Kita just hums.

“Mad cool in all my clothes, mad warm when you get close to me...” He starts so you stop dancing in surprise. He pulls your hand just like in the choreography you both have learned, and this time he’s the one who leads. You are too mesmerized by his voice that it’s all you can think about.

“Slow dance these summer nights. Our disco ball’s my kitchen light,” he continues to sing, and you just smile at him. Even his voice is perfect. What can he not do? You can’t believe that you are serenaded by the one and only Kita Shinsuke.

Seeing the smile on your face, Kita forgets the dance and cups your cheek, allowing your bodies to sway freely. “And you need to know, that nobody can take your place. And you need to know that I’m hella obsessed with your face... your face.” He kisses your nose so you giggle.

Kita places his forehead over yours, hands still on your cheeks, eyes closed with a contented smile on your lips. “Oh my heart hurts so good. I love you, babe, so bad, so bad.”

“I love you, too, so, so, so bad,” you reply, wrapping your arms around his waist. Kita’s eyelids flutter open and he stares you lovingly before pulling you in for a kiss.

“See you later, my bride.”

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Kita is finally wearing the 3-piece grey suit with the help of his groomsmen, aka the Inarizaki Volleyball Team. “I’m nervous,” he tells them with his usual face.

Kita has never felt nervous, but right now, he’s excitedly anxious for unknown reasons. You both love each other and he knows that nothing can go wrong at your wedding, because he made sure of that. He double checked everything even before today, so why is he nervous?

Aran groans, “at least show your nervousness! You still look like you don’t care!” Kita raises his trembling hands and his friends start laughing.

“Did you not practice enough?” Omimi asks.

“I have been practicing my vows since we got back together but I’m still nervous,” Kita admits and everyone else smiles because of his honesty.

Osamu, then, hands Kita a shot of alcohol, confusing the groom so much. “Take a shot for confidence.” Kita’s eyes waver in uncertainty, but takes the shot anyways. He won’t get drunk from one single shot, and he’s willing to do anything that will get rid of the new feeling he has never felt before.

“I think I’m nervous about the dance we’re going to do,” Kita explains.

“Now that you’ve mentioned it, I’m nervous, too,” Aran speaks, staring blankly at the wall. “Whose idea is the surprise dance anyways?”

“It’s Atsumu’s of course,” Suna answers, rolling his eyes.

“It’s all over Youtube! (Y/N) would be so happy if we do it!” Atsumu says with confidence. Kita suddenly lets out a loud shout, silencing the room.

“I’m not angry. I’m just letting out my anxiety,” Kita explains, and the team just sighs in relief.

They hear scratches from the suite’s door so Gin opens opens to see what it is. Rice walks in the room, carrying a paper bag in his mouth. He is wearing a dog suit that is similiar with Kita’s, causing the boys in the room to awe and coo at him.

“Hi, boy! What’s that?” Kita asks the small dog, taking the small paper bag from his mouth. Rice sits in front of him and wags his tail, waiting for Kita to open the box. “Oh, it’s a gift from your mom.”

“Is this how he usually talks with Rice?” Suna asks Osamu, completely new to the scenario in front of him. He has only imagined Kita baby talking with his pet in high school, and this is way better than his imagination allowed.

“Yes. He treats him like his child,” Osamu answers while they stare at the father-son (dog) duo.

Kita pets Rice’s head before opening the bag. He takes out the box that is in it and slowly opens it, painfully making everyone else in the room wait in anticipation. It’s a luxurious watch. He hates it when you give him expensive gifts, but today he’ll let it pass since it’s your wedding. He reads the message on card and snort unknowingly.

When im eighty, I'll look back on three big things in my life: getting married, having kids and the first time I laid eyes on you.

Kita takes a small gift bag from his bag and let’s Rice bite on the string as well. “Give this to your mom.” He orders Rice and the dog leaves the room to go back to yours.

At the bridal suite, only you and your Nekoma friends are in there. Alisa is doing your makeup while the boys are just chilling and talking at the couch. They’re giving unnecessary comments here and there about your wedding ceremony and reception. Like how you will trip while walking down the aisle, or how you will cry so hard during the wedding vow that you Kita won’t be able to understand. Your friends are crazy, but they’re the ones who stuck with you through thick and thin.

“Rice is back,” Lev mentions as he opens the door for the dog. Your pet sits next to your chair, looking up to you to present the gift in his mouth. You pat his head and take the bag from him. He then jumps on your lap to nap.

You open the bag excitedly and see a necklace designed like a leaf branch made of diamonds and white diamond. You stop yourself from crying, not wanting Alisa to start your makeup all over agin. You put it on and check yourself at the mirror. Then, you realize that there is also a small card that came along with the necklace.

You are my favorite plant. I will water you everyday with my love. I will make sure that you have enough sunlight through making you happy. I will take care of you until we’re old and withered.

Kuroo’s wife enters the suite, causing Kuroo to keep quiet. You eye your friend teasingingly so he rolls his eyes at you. His wife is your wedding planner and organization so she has come in the room to check up on you. She doesn’t even spare a glance at Kuroo.

“It’s time to put on your wedding dress,” she tells you as she carries out your dress from the wardrobe. It’s a simple dress, something you never thought you’d wear in your wedding.

Ever since you were little, your idea of your wedding was for it to be glamorous and extravagant since it’s the only kind of wedding you have been attending since you were little. You had always imagined wearing a big ball gown dress with all the Swarovski crystals in can hold. It is the opposite of your wedding that is about to take place.

You only have around 75 guests, consisting of your closest friends and family. The wedding will take place in a small garden so you can be surrounded with plants that Kita loves so much. Your dress? It’s a an a-line dress with a square neckline and low back. It’s made charmeuse fabric and that alone. No lace, no crystals, no anything. It’s a plain simple dress that you know Kita will love.

Everyone else would say that a woman’s wedding is her wedding day, but that’s not Kuroo’s wife, your wedding planner, told you. She said, and you will never forget.

“A wedding is not a woman’s or a man’s happiest day, it’s supposed to be a day where married couples look back on and then remember why they said, ‘I do.’ It’s a special day they share as a couple and not as individuals.”

So you throw all your imaginations and fantasies out of the window and thought of Kita, and him alone, while designing your dress. It’s both yours and Kita’s day. But you’re willing to take an extra mile to make him happy, to make him say, “I do” with all his heart.

You are in the bathroom suite with Kuroo’s wife since Alisa is too anxious to dress you up. The guys obviously can’t help you. You take your robe off and Kuroo’s wife helps you slip on to the dress, but she stops midway when she sees your slightly protruding stomach. She looks at you in shock and you just put a finger over your lips.

“It’s a surprise,” you tell her and she nods.

“Congratulations,” she says to you, and you grin widely.

Yes, you’re pregnant. After trying for a very long time, you’re finally carrying another Kita. In fact, you have been pregnant for two months but just found out a week ago. You wanted to tell Kita immediately but you thought that it’d be best to tell him during your wedding vow for that extra tear jerking scene.

Certainly, Kita will never forget your wedding day.

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“We come now to the words Shinsuke and (Y/N) want to hear the most today. Before you say your vows to one another, I want to hear you confirm that it is indeed your intention to be married today,” your officiant starts so you and Kita face each other.

“Kita Shinsuke, do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to (L/N) (F/N) in marriage?”

“I do.”

“(L/N) (F/N), do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Kita Shinsuke in marriage?

“I do.”

“Shinsuke and (Y/N), having heard that it is your intention to be married to each other, I now ask you to declare your marriage vows.”

Kita takes your hand in his and looks you straight in your eyes and you can see all the emotions from his orbs that his face isn’t revealing. He looks so calm yet his eyes are screaming that he’s excited and nervous at the same time.

“I see these vows not as promises but as privileges. I get to make you smile, hear you laugh. I can take care of you and share my everything with you. I get to wake up next to you every morning and sleep next to you every night. I get to witness at your every milestone and the breakdowns before that. I won’t promise that I will cherish you or honor you, because even without those promises, I will do it. Because being married to you is not a responsibility or a task; it’s a gift, a present. You don’t know how lucky I am to be able to call you my wife,” Kita starts and the guests are already sobbing and crying.

Atsumu is leaning on his twin brother’s shoulder, while the other twin is patting his back. Aran is crying as well, his handkerchief already wet from too much tears. But you don’t hear anything or anything except for the man who’s standing in front of you right now.

Kita takes a deep breath in before he continues, “I love you with my whole heart with a passion that can't be expressed in words, only in soft kisses, tight hugs, late night trips, stolen glances, and years of being by your side. You always tell me that I’m the best man in existence, but believe me when I say this, I am a better man because of you.”

You’re already crying at this point, his word piercing right through your heart, but you don’t feel the pain. It’s a feeling of mixed happiness and contentment that Kita has been giving you since the day you met him. But now it’s your turn to say your vows so you have to stop yourself from crying.

“Shinsuke...” you start and then cry again. You hear your friends’ laughters and giggles, so you chuckle in embarrassment. Kita gives your hand a slight squeeze so you take a deep breath in before attempting to say your vows again.

“When I first saw you, I knew I had to have you. A lot of people said that we’re not going to work out or that you’ll never like me back, but here we are now,” you laugh cockily, causing the guests to laugh as well. “Before I say anything that will make you cry, I just want to clarify that when I said, ‘I do,’ I didn’t mean the dishes. I promise with all my heart that I will continue to make our friends jealous of our astonishing relationship.”

“We get it! We’ll be single forever!” Yaku shouts so it’s laughter once again.

Kita is smiling at you lovingly even if you’re joking during your wedding vows. You clear your throat before starting to speak again, “You have made me the happiest woman in the world today by agreeing to share your life with me. I promise to respect you and honor you. I pledge to be your honest, faithful, and loving wife for the rest of my days. Shinsuke, you are my every dream come true, and I can't wait for the reality we get to build together.”

You want to say it. You want to tell him that you’re pregnant. The words are already at the tip of your tongue but it doesn’t seem to want to slip out. The officiant starts to speak again but you don’t hear him. Your thoughts are clouded with regrets on why you didn’t tell your husband about your pregnancy.

“Your wedding ring are the outward and visible sign of the inward and invisible bond which already unites you two hearts in love,” the officiant says and Rice comes running to the two of you with the wedding rings placed in a small bag.

Rice is your best man. He’s been there since day 1 of your relationship and have been your mediator ever since. He’s a dog that represents your love and he deserves to have that special spot on your wedding day.

Kita slips in your wedding ring as he says, “I give you this ring. Wear it with love and joy. As this ring has no end, my love is also forever.”

You take his hand this time and repeat his words. “I give you this ring. Wear it with love and joy. As this ring has no end, my love is also forever.”

“It is my honor and delight to declare you husband and wife. You may seal this declaration with a kiss,” the officiant declares so Kita takes your veil off to clearly reveal your face.

Your lips meet his. The kiss speaks a lot for the two of you since your lips are both sealed by each other’s. You can feel his promises from his lips and he can taste your sincerity from yours. It’s a kiss you’ll never forget.

The reception after the ceremony was a simple and short one yet also fun and memorable. The former Inarizaki Volleyball Team surprised you with a dance, a sexy one at that, and you blush just thinking about how hot your husband looked while dancing.

At the part where you had to throw the bouquet to the crowd, Kuroo’s wife caught it, so you and your friends were a laughing mess when that happened. Kuroo was so red even if he wasn’t the one who caught the bouquet.

It was perfect. Your wedding day was perfect. Everything went as planned except for your plan of telling him that you’re pregnant.

After the wedding reception, you head to your suite to finally rest and spend alone time with each other. Kita’s hands have never left your body ever since he got to hold it. His mouth would whisper sweet nothings in your ear. His eyes gazed at you every chance he got.

“I really love that dress on you,” Kita tells you as you are about to take off your wedding dress in front of the full body mirror in the room. He wraps his arms around you, his chin on your shoulder, his lips dangerously close to your neck.

“And I love that your hair is pushed back,” you reply, letting your hands fall on his forearms.

“Should I wear my hair like this everyday?” Kita asks and you shake your head immediately. “Why not?”

“I would die from too much handsomeness and hotness,” you answer without hesitance so he chuckles. “For real. You look amazing today. My heart may or may not have skipped a beat or two when you danced.”

“I could show you again,” he whispers into your ear seductively causing chills to run down your spine. “A special show only for you.”

“Baby,” you call him, changing the topic. He humms in response, his lips already attached to the skin of your exposed shoulder. “I have to tell you something important.”

“What is it?” He turns you around, then hugs you again. Tears start to roll down your cheeks so he gets worried. “Is something wrong?”

“No. Not all,” you tell him reassuringly but he doesn’t believe your words since you’re crying like a baby in front of him.

“Then why are you crying?” He wipes the tears on your cheeks with his thumb, worry visible in your eyes. It should be a happy day, why are you crying?

“I’m just glad that we finally had our married and that we will have an addition to our family,” you say subtly, hugging him tightly. Kita is frozen in his spot, did he understand your words right? Do you mean what he thinks you mean?

“What did you say?” He makes you repeat. You cup his cheeks and grin at him. You can see his tears at the brim of his eyes, and just one confirmation for you, the two of you will be crying in thankfulness and happiness the whole night.

“I’m pregnant.”

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[peanutpinet]

Nine Percent Mafia Scenarios

Cai Xukun

Cai Xukun, a name that is well-known whether you go to the same school with him or not. He was notorious for not only being the heartrob of the school, the best basketball player the school had ever had, a hard-working student and a caring person.

Even so, there was a rumour going around that he was part of a gang. Now, this wasn't your typical school gang or a motorcycle gang but more so a mafia group. Not only that, the rumours has it that he is even a leader of one of the mafia's group.

But despite his reputation, Kun was never one to play with people's feelings. So he would always decline people's confessions as nicely as he could. Truth be told that it was mainly because there was already someone that caught his attention since the first day he came to the school (*cough*you*cough*).

Of course, because of his reputations and all, he didn't really want to make his crush that obvious, especially when he was in a mafia group. Though, his group were more so dealing with the actual scums rather than causing trouble for the authority (which is why the authority would let his group go).

But that would soon change during one of his important matches. Not only was he against his school's biggest rival but also his mafia's rival. If he won the game, it'd be killing two birds with one stone.

Unfortunately, when the match was going fairly well for Kun's side, his rival's side had their own set of tricks. Apparently, some of his rival's group were scattered around the school, finding one specific person, you.

While you did try to put up a fight and all, you were outnumbered and the opposing rival managed to get ahold of you. Once the game was over and Kun's team had won, they had to shake hands with the opposing team which of course, Kun did as well. However, when he got to his mafia's rival, he received a disturbing information.

"It was a good game but looks like you guys could still use some practice" Kun snickered, shaking hands with his rival

"I wouldn't be too cocky if I were you, August" his rival challenged, making Kun tensed up upon hearing his work name

"Don't test me, especially in school. I suggest you leave quietly unless you're starting to pick a fight" Kun barked

"Heh, well, let's see how tough you can get when you're with (y/n)" his rival mentioned, makin Kun gripped on his rival's hand even more

"What do you know about (y/n)?!" Kun growled

"Why don't you come by dinner tonight? I'll send you the location" his rival smirked, taking his hand back and leaving the school along with his team

Kun instantly contacted his own members, asking them to track your phone since he tried calling and texting you but you didn't reply him at all (which is actually very rare unless you told him you had something to do).

At the same time Kun received an unknown message, his members found your phone's location which was completely different to the location in the message.

Kun then split his group to two, with him going to the location he got from the message whilst the others go to the location where they tracked the phone down.

It wasn't that much of a surprised that you weren't at the location Kun went. But that didn't stop Kun from going brutal with the rival gang. After he was done there, he went over to where you actually were on his motorcycle.

Arriving at the scene, Kun wasted no time and just knocked the rival gang even when he was still on his motorcycle. When Kun did get down from his motorcycle, he kept going until he finally reached you and pulled you into a hug.

"Are you alright? Did they hurt you?" Kun asked, concern can be heard from his cracked yet soft voice

"I, I'm alright, Kun. I just got a slight bruise but nothing too serious" you admitted, holding onto Kun's hands that were almost 2x your hand size

"If you ever come near her ever again, I'll show no mercy next time. Now scram" Kun hissed, making the boys run away from the scene

"I'm fine, Kun. Don't scare them like that" you stuttered

"Let's go, let's put some ice pack onto that bruise, hmm? Then we can continue watching that drama you were watching. Let's go boys" Kun mentioned, pulling you to his motorcycle

Chen Linong

Honestly, Nongnong is just too soft to be part of the mafia. Which is also why he is perfect to be the spy in the mafia XD alright, onto the scenario

So, I imagine that you were one of the bad girls in school. Not bad as in you caused trouble but more so you look like a baddie when you're actually nice to the ppl close to you. One of which was Nongnong.

When Nongnong first came to the school, he looked so cute and soft that you swore that you wouldn't let anybody bully him nor hurt him at all. You even helped him get used to the school.

Time passed by and you and Nongnong were quite close with each other that even went on a few study dates here and there; which Nongnong of course would take you home like the gentlemen he was.

But one study date made you change your mind how you saw Nongnong. All this time you would always feel the need to be the one to protecc precious Nongnong, but this time, it was the other way around.

The both of you stayed a bit longer than expected at the study cafe you guys always come for when you were doing school stuff. But of course both of you have told your parents and Nongnong even told your parents he'll still bring you home safely.

As the cafe was closing, you and Nongnong finally head back home when suddenly a gang of motorcycles came by and stopped right in front of you. Nongnong tried his best to tell them off but for no apparent reason they just burst up and went to charge towards you and Nongnong.

You've experienced fighting before which is why you were still standing, unfeared of what this gang could do. But as you were about to fight back, Nongnong quickly stood in front of you and beat all the people in the gang; scaring them off and even threatening them that if he ever sees them again or even hears about them when he's around, he won't go easy.

"Are you ok (Y/N)? Are you hurt anywhere?" Nongnong asked, his voice turning into his normal soft voice

"I, you, what? Who are you and what have you done to my sunshine soft precious Nong?!" you exclaimed, pointing at Nongnong and at the slight mess he made

"Ahaha, I'm also super Nongnong!! Remember? But for reals (y/n), are you alright?" Nongnong asked in concern, holding your hands in his

"I'm fine. You didn't have to protect me though. You know I can fight" you mumbled

"I know. But you shouldn't have to fight when I'm around. I'll take care of you even when I'm sick. As long as you're fine then I'll be fine. Come, let's go home" Nongnong softly whispered, pulling his signature smile as he pulled you away from the scene and head back home

Fan Chengcheng

Kay, first of, boy looks like he ready to throw a fit or something XD also, crazy to believe that he was just 18 here. Kay" scenario

For this I imagine that Chengcheng had to attend a wedding of a family member (let's say it's his cousin) and his parents expect him to bring someone or they'll make him mingle around with the people at the wedding.

Because he much prefer to bring someone he knew, he immediately called you to come join him; telling you that he'll find hair, makeup and stylist for you so all you had to do was just join him. Though you're not much of a social person, Chengcheng got you by telling you that there'll be your favourite foods.

Time skip to the day of the wedding

You arrived at the Fan's house and was greeted by Chengcheng's sister, Fan Bingbing. Because you've been to his house several of times, truth is, his parents and Bingbing were thrilled to hear that Chengcheng invited you to join.

Bingbing then directed you to one of the rooms that was filled with different clothes and she even helped you picked out an outfit then brought you to another room where there were people ready to do your hair and makeup.

After nearly 2 hours of getting ready, you were finally done and Bingbing was helping you zip your dress when Chengcheng came in already in his dashing suit. Bingbing then gave a smirk, leaving you with Cheng.

"Wow, you look amazing? You're probably gonna outshine the bride. Here, lemme help" Chengcheng exclaimed, helping zip your dress up then looking at you in the mirror

"Speak for yourself. That glasses really suits your look. Not to mention the slick back hair with a slight green/blue tone?! Damn, Cheng" you replied as the both of you looked in the mirror

"C'mon, I want one mirror selfie then we can go to the actual event" Chengcheng requested as he took his phone out and taking a mirror selfie with you

After several more pictures, Chengcheng's parents finally called you both and the both of you went downstairs; where Chengcheng's parents and sister were waiting.

After around 30-40 minutes of being on the road, you all arrived at the venue, took some pictures and were redirected to where you would be seated.

"I have to go for a bit. My parents made me go see my cousin then his bride. You just stay here, alright? I'll have someone send some appetisers or any snacks" Chengcheng whispered to you

"Sure thing. Go go, then we can play whilst we wait. Justin is waiting for me right now" you mentioned

"Better be just one game. I'll be back. Don't start the next game without me, tell Justin that I'll take his food next practice if he leaves me out" Chengcheng pointed out, walking away

"Oi!! Watch your step!!" you scolded then went back to playing

Chengcheng's POV

"Why do I have to meet her?" I complained

"Because it's to welcome her into the family" my parents replied

"Ah yes, welcome someone we almost never met into the family" I cursed

"Fan Chengcheng, behave. I heard she's quite lovely" my mom scolded

"Fine. But it better not be long" I scoffed as the security opened the door and I went into my cousin's bride room

"Fan Chengcheng!! I'm so happy you could come to my wedding!!" my cousin's bride exclaimed

"Yea yea. Hold it. You....Jia Xiaoli (random name). You're my cousin's bride?! What trick you got now?!" I threatened standing right in front of her

"No tricks, Cheng. I promise!!" Xiaoli smiled

"Cut the act Xiaoli, you bribed me into dating you and if it wasn't for (y/n), my family would be in jeprodize" I barked at her

"Ahhh right, (y/n). I haven't seen her in a while. How is she?" Xiaoli asked

"She's not your concern. Stay out of my sight and (y/n)'s. And if you ever hurt my family, I'll show you no mercy" I scoffed, banging on the door and returning to where I left (y/n)

Unfortunately, when I arrived back, (y/n) was no where to be seen. I scowered the whole venue yet she wasn't there. I then rushed out to the bathroom, hoping that maybe she was there. I even tried texting her but after 30 minutes and no answer from her at all, I got anxious; like something is wrong here.

I then went out of the venue and contacted Justin if he was talking with (y/n) since they were playing games together. Thankfully, I got somewhat of a lead. Justin mentioned that he's actually on a "call" with (y/n) but he muted his microphone because he heard some other people was on the other line with her. Justin also mentioned that he's trying to track down (y/n) and after a few minutes, Justin sent me her location.

Not caring that the event was starting, I rushed to find (y/n) which turns out, her phone was at one of the hotel rooms of the venue. I then listened to the room first and when I heard (y/n)'s voice, I wasted no time and barged in, dodging all the attacks of the men within the room, knocking them all out one by one and took my jacket off, wrapping it around (y/n).

"Are you ok? Did they hurt you? What did they do?" I asked, pulling (y/n) into a hug

"Nothing, thankfully. They made me go with them and when I felt something was off, I called Justin but put the volume at the lowest, hoping he'll know my situation" (y/n) explained

"It's alright, I'm here. I've also asked Justin to come. C'mon let's get outta here" I mentioned, holding (y/n)'s hand

"Justin? Is he invited? What are you gonna do?" (Y/n) asked

"He'll be invited soon. We got a wedding to crash" I snickered, taking (y/n) away from the scene

Justin Huang

Tbh, I don't think this pose will really fit into the scenario but I will try. Okie, onto the scenario for Justin!!

For Justin, I imagine that you guys were living together along with Chengcheng, Yanjun and Kun for a film shoot and one night, you and Justin were heading out to buy dinner since the geges were basically passed out.

As the both of you were on your way, Justin noticed some sketchy people stalking the both of you. Justin made sure to keep an eye of them but didn't realise that there were a whole lot more of them that blocked your path and while you did put up quite a fight, you were eventually taken and was out of Justin's sight.

When Justin realised you were gone, he didn't waste any time in calling his geges and immediately went to find where they took you. Justin was definitely certain that they were part of the opposing gang that's always trying to get on ninepercent's nerve.

After a bit of running and even getting his geges help, Justin finally found the hideout and instantly barged in. However, the condition he found you in was not a pretty sight.

⚠️ Trigger Warning!! ⚠️

Not only were you bounded to a chair but it seemed that you were being beaten up, there were visible new purpleish bruises on your legs and cheek, not to mention some part of your clothes were ripped, your hair was messed up and even blood was dripping from your mouth, hands and thighs.

At that moment, something in Justin just flipped. As if he turned off his humanity switch (except for you). No-one was going to block his way to you. If they did, he wouldn't care whether they're a guy or girl, he'll put them down.

One after the other, Justin would break their arms/legs, the sound of their suffering even urged Justin to go even further; to the point where Justin didn't care whether he broke their bones, pulled their muscles or so on.

Once all of them were down on the ground, Justin finally managed to get to you. He crouched down to your height and wrapped his jacket over your shivering body and asked if it was alright to carry you which u only gave him a slight nod; and at the same time his geges arrived at the scene.

"It's alright (y/n). I got you, we're gonna go home now, kay?" Justin cooed you as he carried you in his arms

"Justin?! (Y/N)?! Are you guys alright?!" Kun asked as Yanjun and Chengcheng were prepared to shoot anyone

"Sorry to ask this but please take care of them. Oh and make sure they're still alive. I have unfinished business with them. I'm taking (y/n) back first" Justin requested, walking out of the scene

Lin Yanjun

Tbh, I'm not a fan of this jacket on Jun XD but his gaze bruh, his gaze!!! 🔥🔥 okie, scenario!!

For this scenario, I imagine that you were in Yanjun's hometown in Taiwan and apparently Yanjun's 10th year high school reunion was coming up and decided to bring you along since he only planned on staying for a bit then take you out elsewhere (also to keep all those girls in line before they lashed out on him)

After getting ready and all, you and Yanjun excused yourselves from Yanjun's parents and went out to the bar where the reunion was held. Ofc, when Yanjun entered, so many of his ex girl classmates were thrilled, until he showed up with you, hand in hand.

Yanjun just nodded and waved at his ex classmates before introducing you then he pulled you to the near corner of the table since he knew that you were somewhat socially awkward.

After having a little drink and snacks, it was now almost 9pm and Yanjun wanted to treat you out to the night market before going home. He asked if you wanted to go now which you gave him a slight nod. He told you that he'll go to the restroom for a bit before you leave.

After his restroom business, one of his ex classmates (a girl) went up to him and talked for a bit. At first it seemed like a simple catch up until she started to clustered the space and asked some personal questions about you. Yanjun was quick to know the situation he was in and immediately took control and straight up turned his ex classmate down, making his way to where he left you.

However, he noticed that some of the guys were trying to flirt with you and it seemed that they were getting a bit touchy that you seemed to be quite uncomfortable. Yanjun knew that coming to the reunion was a bad idea. Not only the majority that came were the school bullies but they were also part of a gang which 9% has been paying a close attention to.

Even so, Yanjun know that you could handle yourself and when your gaze met with Yanjun's, you immediately tried to excuse yourself but then one of the guys gripped your wrist which in return you slapped their hand away and even shoved them back down. Just when you managed to get free of these crazy people, another guy managed to grabbed you and pulled you down but at the same time, a dart flew and hit the the person's hand. Everyone then looked to see Yanjun's killer looks.

As everyone was distracted, you pulled yourself up at the same time Yanjun came and stood in front of you, holding your hand softly. Stroking your knuckles, he asked if they did anything else which you shook your head and told him that they just tried to flirt whilst the girls were already somewhat drunk. Yanjun gave you a slight apologetic smile before going back to his cold gaze towards his ex-classmates.

"Can't you tell when a woman is clearly not interested and taken? The next time you do that to my woman or any sort of girls, it won't be a dart flying and the target surely won't be your hand" Yanjun warned, rubbing your knuckles softly before starting to leave

"You think you're all that huh Yanjun?! Just because you made a name for yourself now, you can do as you please, huh?!" one of the guys challenged

"Heh, I'd watch my mouth if I were you. Wouldn't want people to know about your 'illegal business' or the fact that you've been out with 10 different women this past week, now would you?" Yanjun challenged back, slightly smirking as the guy's face suddenly turned pale

"Thought so. C'mon (y/n), let's get outta here. The night market doesn't close until 11pm" Yanjun whispered, giving you a genuine smile as you went out together hand in hand like how you came in together

Zhu Zhengting

Mama Ting!! That gaze!! I surrender!! I won't play games till late at night!!! Kay", scenario time!!

Ok, for mama Ting, I feel that he's dating with a normal office worker (aka you), you guys met through mutual friends and for some reason, Zhengting feels at ease whenever he's with you (like, not awkward at all, unlike with most girls).

Zhengting was just waiting at your apartment and cooking up some dinner for the both of you since you told him that you might be coming back late due to an important meeting with your boss.

Once he heard the door unlocked, Zhengting welcomed you with his soft smile and sparkling eyes that was full of love (also open arms) which you gave him a tired smile but immediately hugged him when you've put your things down.

"How was work? What meeting was it? Oh, tell me over dinner. I made your favourites!!" Zhengting mentioned, guiding you to the dining area where he has prepared dinner

"Thank you, Ting. It was a confusing meeting honestly. Like, my boss suddenly asked about my relationship with you" you explained as you started to eat the dinner

"Really? Does your boss know me? Like know know or was he just trying to hit on you?!" Zhengting questioned, his tone getting serious

"Not sure. He was trying to offer me another job which paid quite a lot but it has something to do with my relationship. Like, when I told him that I was in a relationship, he gave this weird look like he wasn't satisfied and just dismissed me. Saying that he'll think about it" you elaborated

"Hmmm. Whatever you do, don't take the job unless he gives you the full details, alright? And if you're worried about money because your current job isn't paying you well, don't fret, I'm here!!" Zhengting exclaimed

"I don't want to leach off of you Ting but yea, I'm not gonna take that job. I'm planning to find a job elsewhere and resign once I reached my one year mark" you explained

"Good!! Now finish up then shower so we can go watch some dramas" Zhengting cheered

It's been roughly a week or so since you told Zhengting about the offer and Zhengting was currently at the bar along with Kun because they had to spy on some men coming to the bar; something about opening a brothel or an illegal business of some sort.

When the people were already there, both Zhengting and Kun split up to get some information out of the men. Nothing in particular really caught the two's attention up until one of the men brought up a file containing your information.

"I'm telling you, she's the best looking one in my company. Not to mention, whenever she wears skinny jeans, it just fits her body so well. Anyone would die to take her and our business will blow up" one of the men mentioned, pointing at a picture of your face

"But you mentioned that she's taken. Are you sure you can get her to join?" the other men asked

"She needs the money. Plus, I can always cut her pay and tell her that this job suits her better" the men mentioned, laughing

But oh boi, they picked on the wrong girl. Because the minute Zhengting heard the conversation and was sure that it was your picture that they used, he immediately gave the guy a good punch in the face, knocking him down and holding a gun up right at his temple.

"I take it you like using helpless woman for your illegal money? Not only that, using them then abusing them before you discard them. How annoying. I'll give you a few minutes to confess everything before I blow up your brainless head" Zhengting barked, his gun was right by the man's temple

"So you're her so-called boyfriend, huh? I'll just kill you here and..." the man scoffed but his scoffed turned into a scream as Zhengting shot the man's leg

"I was wondering who was my girlfriend's boss as he was so daring to ask about her relationship but was unsatisfied when he realised she was taken. Well, this is still consider verbal harrasement, right Kun?" Zhengting snickered

"Sure thing. Since we got some evidence here, pretty sure he'll get fired the second we inform this to the authority. Also, he'll probably lose all his wealth" Kun replied

"Wa-wait a minute?! Kun?! As in the Cai Xukun?! Leader of 9%?! Does that mean...you...you're..." the man stuttered

"Zhengting. Zhu. Zheng. Ting. The so-called boyfriend of the woman you're trying to hire into an illegal business. Oh well, save your breath for the court" Zhengting replied, a smirk plastering his face as the man's face turned very pale

Wang Ziyi

For this specific picture of Ziyi, I imagine it being a bit similar to mama Ting's one. Where you were just a normal worker, not an idol/actress/artist or even a daughter of a famous company owner. You were just you; which, to Ziyi, you were everything.

Now, unlike the in mama Ting's one, you weren't offered a new job at a new location that was completely different to the one you were currently in. However, the boss of your company did pay a close attention to you. He would often try to flirt with you, send you flowers or even directly asked you out; which of course you declined them all.

This happened even before you met Ziyi. But unfortunately, it still happened even after you've been dating Ziyi. However, it wasn't as bad as when you weren't dating Ziyi. You dunno whether its because he finally started giving up or because he knew you were dating someone since you never really told him you were actually dating someone.

But while your boss may not know that you were dating someone, you did tell Ziyi about how your boss has been flirting with you and all. But we all know how patient Ziyi is. Not only was he patient in hearing your complaints and all but he was also patient with your so-called "boss". Well, that is until he ran into your "boss" at the gym.

You and Ziyi have been going to the gym quite regularly (let's all pretend it aint covid) and normally Ziyi would treat you lunch (which is how he got you to go to the gym with him). So, Ziyi would normally go and do some weight training whilst you just went to do some cardio (like on the treadmill or bicycle).

It was going like normal until you were about to do a bit of weights yourself (like that pull-up weight thing) and as you were going to do your thing, your boss suddenly came up to you and you guessed it, tried to flirt with you.

You tried to tell him off nicely but the same time scanned the room to find Ziyi who was apparently at the boxing area. It took a good 5 minutes or so but Ziyi finally saw you and understood your situation.

He was about to tell the guy off nicely until he saw the guy closing in the space between the both of you near a wall. And lets just say, Ziyi was finally at the peak of his patience and just snapped at the dude.

He pulled the dude back and twisted his arm till you can hear a crack. Ziyi then told your "boss" off and even threatened him because apparently throughout this whole time, Ziyi was doing a lil "background check" on your so-called "boss".

"It's not nice to pick on a lady who's clearly taken. Especially when you, yourself is also taken" Ziyi scoffed, pushing the guy further back

"Aghhh, l-let go off, m-me. This isn't even a fair fight" the guy stuttered as Ziyi pushed the guy who eventually fell downwards

"I suggest you leave and not hit on anyone. Unless, of course, you'd like me to tell your wife about it" Ziyi threatened, taking his phone out and showing the guy some pics of his affair

"I, I'll get lost. Just don't show this to my wife or anyone" the guy babbled, rushing to leave the scene

"C'mon (y/n), let's go get lunch at your favourite" Ziyi mentioned, grabbing your hand and giving you his signature (yet sweet) smile Xiaogui

For Xiaogui, I imagine that he was the owner of a well renowned bar in Shanghai. It's been a tough week for you and when you told Xiaogui all about it, he felt sorry that he flew all the way to where you work, telling you that he'll stay over the weekend so the two of you can have a chill weekend together.

But, on the way back to your place, Xiaogui got a call from the bar about someone looking for him. He asked you for permission which you know that it was his bar and so you told him that it's alright. He gave your hand a light squeeze before speeding up to the bar.

Upon reaching the bar, he directed you to a secret door which led to his private office. He told you to just stay there whilst he takes care of the things at the bar.

However, not long after Xiaogui left, you suddenly had a bad feeling, as if you were being watched or something. You weren't dumb and you knew that Xiaogui hid his gun in his office (I mean, the dude taught you how to do self-defense and how to use a gun). You went over his desk trying to find the gun but the secone you held it, you felt a gun being pointed at the back of your head.

"You know, what ghost around, comes around" a deep voice mentioned, the gun being pressed by your head

"Now be a good girl and put the gun down" the man stated as you slowly put the gun down but only to make him lower his guard so you quickly upperhand him by taking his gun

As you manage to upperhand the attacker, he started to attack you which was not good. Sure, Xiaogui taught you a thing or two but when you're faced with it in real-life, that's a different story. You tried to keep your composure and threw his gun far away so it'll just be a hand to hand combat but you were still at a disadvantage.

You were already being cornered and as you took the nearest object as a weapon/shield, the attacker told you that you were no match for him. But as he was just a hand reach away, the door slammed opened and a bullet was shot right at the attacker's chest, close to his heart. You divert your gaze only to meet with Xiaogui's gaze.

"Touch her one more time and I'll make sure you live a living hell before I actually send you to hell, myself" Xiaogui stated, a signature grin was plastered on his face when he saw the attacker fell on the floor You Zhangjing

If Imma be honest, this was another hard scenario but here goes nothing.

So, for Zhangjing's scenario, I imagined that you, Zhangjing, Yanjun and Nongnong had to attend this special dinner that the opposite gang was going since they had some deals to handle.

You knew that it was quite a risk by going but they needed someone to come with them so it wouldn't seem too obvious that they were planning on handling the opposite gang. Plus, you get free food so that was a major plus.

Which is how you ended up in a little black dress with your arms linked with Zhangjing and Nongnong as Yanjun was in front of you, all four of you making your way to the ballroom hall of the hotel the dinner was being held.

Yanjun, being Yanjun and the third person in charge in 9% reminded everyone of their jobs. Also reminded you to stay near by them and let any one of them know when you wanted to go somewhere like the bathroom or some sort.

After rediscussing the plan, Yanjun was the first to excuse himself because he was the hitman of the group. Nongnong also left to mingle around and get some information. Which meant, it was you and Zhangjing.

Of course, it was no surprised that the two of you immediately headed to where the food is. The both of you were enjoying the food and occasionally talk with the other guests at the dinner until Yanjun called Zhangjing to request some hacking which Zhangjing proceed in doing.

But in the midst of hacking, you had the urge to go to the bathroom and told Zhangjing that I was gonna go which he told me to quickly go and come right back to his side which you agreed.

After finishing with your bathroom business, you went out to try and find where Zhangjing was but got a bit lost and this dude was trying to get on my nerve even after you declined him so many times. I mean, one Yanjun is more than enough.

But when this guy was persistent, you decided to fight back which he clearly didn't like at all. You knew lots of fighting skills and self-defence stuff by being with 9% for a long time. Heck, you were their most trusted person other than each other.

As you were about to end this little disturbance, the guy was knocked out cold and you saw You Zhangjing out of the 3 men you came with. His gaze could rival Yanjun (emphasis on could XD)

"Can't we just have one night of dinner in peace? Haish. C'mon (y/n), let's go back and enjoy our dinner" Zhangjing stated, extending his hand out as you went to grab it

"You know I had it under control" you stated, pouting

"I know. But I wanted it over with, plus the deal is done and we can go order in with everyone" Zhangjing exclaimed as the both of you skidded through the hall

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Love On-Set (Pt. 06 of 10)

Pairing: Dacre Montgomery X Reader

Summary: You knew acting on Stranger Things season 3 would be a challenge, and you also knew, from the start, you'd have to work closely with Dacre Montgomery. But is wasn't a big deal for you, since this is your job and you're determined to act professionally. You had it all figured out, or so you thought, until the moment you were out face to face with Dacre. Then, this job became a lot harder than it was supposed to be, since you can't seem to focus whenever you're around Dacre. And you'll have to be around him a lot until the end of production.

Word count: 3 K

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{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

Los Angeles

The fresh wind messes with your hair as you squint your eyes at the rising sun. You always loved the beach, but this one is your favorite. The way the light blue color of the ocean mixes with the sky is breathtaking, and you know you could spend all of your days here, just looking at the horizon, not a single worry on your mind. It's peaceful, like paradise. The sand is soft under your bare feet, and there's nobody here yet. It's too early, and the only reason why you're here is because you missed this feeling.

It doesn't matter where you go, you'll always want to return here, even is it's just for a visit. The only sound you hear is from the crashing waves, slow and calming, like music. You can't help but smile, eyes closed to better feel the warmth of the sunlight in your skin.

The unmistakable click of a camera gets your attention, forcing you to open your eyes again. Furrowing your eyebrows, you wonder if someone recognized you. It happened only once, even before the shooting for the season three started when a girl spotted you as the girl who Billy almost ran over. But that was it.

Turning around to check the source of the sound, your heart stops for a moment when you see Dacre, still putting his phone down.

“Sorry, but you were looking so good.” He says, making his way over you.

He's the one looking good. The white pants and pale blue shirt mix perfectly with the atmosphere, light, and relaxing. And all the rest too. His face, his smile, the way he walks. You're quick to notice the first three buttons of his shirt are opened and you wonder if he's getting this idea from Billy. “Me? Please, look at you. You're... Gorgeous.”

“Yeah.” She simply says, finally reaching you. “I'm glad you're still here. I was scared you'd be gone.”

Dacre lives forty-five minutes away from you. It's not that close, but close enough, you think. Maybe it's fate, or so says Millie. Like a sign. “I can't believe you came all the way here.” An hour ago, before you came to the beach, you answered his text to let him know where you would be since you wouldn't bring your phone.

“Better start trying, because here I am.”

Biting your lip to hold back a smile, you turn at the ocean again. “Well, this is one of my favorite places on Earth.”

“I noticed.”

“Really? How?” Crossing your arms, you look at him. Dacre's eyes are as blue as the ocean. But they're much more beautiful.

“The shine in your eyes.” He answers, shrugging his shoulders. “It's pretty obvious if you pay attention.”

“You say these things and I don't even know what to think.” Unlike you, Dacre doesn't try to hide his feelings or thoughts. He's honest, every time.

“Just tell me how you feel about this place.” He lightly touches your arm, and you set in a slow walk.

“Uhm...” You mutter, feeling as his hand slides down your arm until it reaches yours. His fingers linger for a while, and you feel the usual sensation Dacre brings you. Butterflies, moving all over your skin, tickling. Slowly, very, almost painfully, his fingers brush on yours, and when he's just about to let go, you decide to be brave, intertwining your fingers with his. You wait for him to still want to let to, but he doesn't. His grip only gets tighter. “It's beautiful, obliviously.”

“That's it? Is that everything you have to say about one of your favorite places on Earth?” You stop a few feet away from where the ripples reach. “You know you can tell me how you feel, right? I want to know.”

Taking a deep breath, you turn your body towards Dacre, trying not to look as nervous as you feel right now, holding his hand. “This is nostalgic. It's my second home after that house over there.” You gesture at a small group of houses by a cliff. “Mine is the tiniest one. I grew up here but only moved back a year ago. This beach makes me feel... Free. Like there is not a single worry in the world. It's... Bliss.”

Dacre is already looking down at you when your eyes meets his. The smile on his lips sends shivers down your spine. “I'm happy you shared it with me.”

“It's just... A couple of words.” Blushing, you look down. “It doesn't mean anything.”

“It means a lot.” His free hand comes to your face, fingers softly caressing your cheek and jaw. “To both of us.”

You were just about to say something when the water reaches your feet, and you give a little jump. “Oh my Gosh!” You exclaim, giggling.

“Wanna go for a swim?” He asks.

“I can't.” Shrugging your shoulders, you take a look at the ocean. “I don't know how to.”

“What?”

“It's not a big deal.”

“We were shooting next to a pool and you didn't tell me you can't swim?” He sounds a little offended, but when you look at him again, you can tell he's faking it. “I play the lifeguard, I should know that.”

“Well, you never asked.” Letting go of his hand, you start walking backward, away from the water.

“No, no.” He's quick to grab your arm, smirking. “We will go for a dive. C'mon.”

“No way!” You start pulling back, and a small fight starts. “You have your phone with you, remember? You'll ruin it.”

“Let me just–.” Dacre searches on his pocket, easily finding his phone and throwing it on the sand, away from the water. “Problem solved.”

“Dacre...”

“I won't let you drown. Trust me.” His voice invites you in, and you know you can't fight it. And you do trust him.

Sighing, you surrender, allowing him to pull you into the water. Your eyes are focused on his, and it's impossible to keep the usual distance. When your feet stop touching the bottom, you have no choice but to cling onto him, arms around his neck. Dacre holds you tight, arms encircling your waist, and you feel secure in his embrace. Fortunately, the water is calm, and the waves are small. It'll change in a few hours though, but for now, they won't be a problem.

There's nothing else to do now. Your foreheads are almost touching, and there's no space between your bodies. You've never been this close to him, not even on scene. You wonder if he can listen to your heart, beating insanely fast.

“Hold your breath.” He says and you nod, taking the deepest breath you can.

Dacre pulls you down with him, and you close your eyes shut. It only takes a few seconds before you break to the surface again, releasing the air from your lungs and lips breaking into a smile.

“You ok?”

“Yeah. Why?” You ask, letting go of him just to remove some of the hair that was attached to your face.

“Your cheeks are red.”

“Oh...” There's no way to hide it now, standing face to face with him. “I'm alright. I know you won't let your co-star drown.”

“Never.” He whispers, his voice deep and soft. “Actually, I–” Dacre is cut short by his cellphone ringing. It's a low, calming song you don't know.

“Maybe we should go.”

“I know who it is. This magazine wants an interview and a photoshoot but I told them I'd only accept if you could come with me.”

“What?” You giggle, furrowing your eyebrows. “I'm not as famous as you, they wouldn't want me.”

“The whole interview will be about Billy and Stranger Things. People are already shipping Billy and Amy, it'll only make sense if you're there with me.” As he speaks, Dacre starts making his way back to the beach, only letting go of you when you're out of the water. “And the moment season 3 starts, you won't be left alone by the fans, trust me.”

“Would James allow it? Seeing us together will raise suspicions.”

“Yeah, I texted James about it. He said it's a good idea, to get people hyped for the next season.” Dacre carefully picks up his phone. “What do you say? We could even go out after. Have dinner somewhere nice.”

Does he mean it like a date? It can't be... Right? “Ok, then. When is it?”

“Tomorrow afternoon. I'll pick you up.”

Smiling, you nod, biting your lip.

You would stay the whole day with Dacre, but you had promised your mother you'd spend the day with her. And Dacre understands it. You took him to your house so he could dry himself and have breakfast since he only had a cup of coffee.

When he leaves, your mother makes a lot of questions, and you're happy to answer. She teases you a lot, making silly comments and reminding you how handsome Dacre is throughout the day. You don't need to be reminded though, you know it very well.

When the next day comes, you patiently wait for him after having lunch and taking a fresh shower. You wonder if you'll always feel this nervous about Dacre. Just the thought of seeing him in a couple of minutes sends a shiver down your spine, makes your stomach burn with anticipation. When the doorbell rings, you jump up, taking your bag, and ignoring the stare your mother gives you.

“Bye, mom.” You mutter, heading to the front door. Taking a deep breath, you open it, trying not to smile. And failing. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He says back, and you start making your way to his car. “Excited?”

“Wondering what they'll ask. They always want some spoilers.” You get into the passenger seat, blushing with the fact that Dacre just opened the door for you.

“That they do.”

The ride is filled with chattering. You tell him about your childhood and he does the same. Eventually, you're not sure how exactly, you have your hand on his shoulder as he drives, then on his neck. He touches your leg every once in a while, and you can't help but blush a little.

But soon enough you're at this amazing, luxury hotel. The photoshoot will take place at the pools, which are absolutely incredible. It's huge, and there's an aisle in the middle, with a bridge that leads to it. A stylist comes to take you to the dressing room so you can change. It'll be 80's themed, so your swimsuit is very colorful, blue, green, and pink. The one piece is open on the sides and on the back, and it looks amazing. Your hair is done very quickly, beach waves with some volume. It takes an hour until you're allowed out, and Dacre is ready, talking to a guy. He looks good, his blue and green shirt unbuttoned, leaving his chest exposed.

“Hey,” you mutter when you're close enough. “Looking good.”

“Not as good as you.” He says, winking. “We were waiting for you, the interview happens now, then the photoshoot.”

“Alright.” Dacre guides you to a small scenario, with three chairs and a huge Stranger Things poster behind. The cameras are already positioned, and a woman comes to pin the microphones on your suits.

Once everything is ready, you and Dacre sit down, and a middle-aged woman takes the seat before you, a smile on her lips. The interview goes on very well, with small questions about what the public can expect from the new season, and from the relationship between Billy and Amy. People are really excited about it, you didn't know how much. You make a self note to make some research, to know where exactly the fans stand.

It was great until the video in the gym comes up. “I think it's pretty obvious, but that got people talking.” The woman, Maryan, says. “So I gotta ask. Is there anything happening between you two? Away from the cameras?”

You exchange a glance with Dacre, and you have no idea what to say. You don't want to say no, but you're too scared to say yes...

“Well, if there is you'll find out soon or later so...” Dacre speaks up, and you can tell this is the gentle way of saying this isn't her business.

She seems happy with that, making a quick remark before finishing the interview. Then different people take over. The photographer, a short man with grey hair and a huge camera starts guiding you around the pools. The stylist comes to fix your hair every time you strike a pose. And obviously, it takes little time for you and Dacre to be put close, very close.

You have fun though, laughing at his jokes about how weird things can get on these things. And that he's happy you're here.

“Alright. (Y/N), lie down, please. Dacre, sit down beside her.” Nodding, you follow the instructions. Half your body is in the shadow and the other half under the sunlight as you lie down near the pool. “Dacre, I want you to look down at her, and (Y/N), reach out your hand to touch his face.”

Trying to keep it professional, you do as he says. Dacre's eyes burn right through you, and you would give all the money you have to know what he's thinking. Slowly, you caress his jaw with your thumb, realizing you never touched him like this.

“You ok?” He asks, for the hundredth time. Dacre is always making sure you're comfortable, but the truth is that you're more than comfortable. You're actually starting to crave for this proximity, for his touch.

“Yeah...”

The camera flashes and you smile. “Look over here.” The photographer commands and you follow. “Amazing, amazing.”

The good news is that you're enjoying yourself. The bad news is that they make you get inside the pool, which is too deep. So all the photos have you on Dacre's arms, and honestly, you don't mind one bit.

The night is falling when the photoshoot is over and Dacre takes you to one of his favorites restaurants. It was an area on the back from which you have a view of the city. You both continue talking about childhood memories and stuff like that, and you tell him about your father. How he forced both you and your mother to put the walls high, to keep people away. Dacre is so kind though, reassuring you he wants to get in. That he wants to know how you feel, all the time. You still wonder if he means it though, you can't help it. But by the end of the night, after you both ate the desert and are now just chattering, you feel like he means it.

“Oh, have you read the script they sent us? They changed so many things they had to add another episode.” Dacre says, elbows on the table.

“Of course I didn't.” Shrugging your shoulders, you raise an eyebrow. “We got a five days vacation and that means no work. And since I have you to read it and tell me everything... Why should I?”

“Really? Are you making me do all the hard work in scene?” He makes a pause when the waiter comes with the check.

“James always likes it better when we improvise anyways.”

“I have no idea why.” He says, taking the check.

“Hey, we can–”

“I'm paying and that's not up to discussion.” He cuts you off, giving you a glance as he leaves the money on the table before standing up.

“But–”

“(Y/N), I...” You were just about to head to the exit when he stops, still near the table. “I'm not sure if I made it clear, I should've have... But this was supposed to be a date.”

Blushing, you gasp, looking at him in the eyes. “It kinda felt like a date but I didn't want to assume anything.”

“Well, if you're ok with it, I'd like this to be the first date.” Some people walk by, so you set in motion, walking towards the exit and to the parking lot.

“I'm ok with that.” More than ok, actually. Your stomach feels funny as he opens the passenger door for you, and your skin is on fire.

“Well...” He mumbles as he gets in, starting the car. “It's still a little early but since we have a flight tomorrow morning, we'll both need to get some sleep.”

“Definitely.” You agree. Tomorrow you'll be flying back to the set, straight to the kissing scene. As if he's listening to your thoughts, Dacre gives you a glance. “Excited to go back to work?”

“I am actually.” He nods, eyes on the road.

“Why?” It comes out suddenly because you can't help but wonder if it's for the kiss. If he wants to kiss you as you want to kiss him.

“...I miss the guys, that's all.”

“Oh...” Shifting in your seat, you look away from him, eyes on the road ahead. Your heart sinks a little, and now you're genuinely confused. “Me too.”

��Yeah.” He mumbles, a hand running through his hair.

The rest of the ride to your place is silent, and when you get there, you mutter a goodbye. Once you're inside, away from Dacre, you can't help but feel a little stupid. Maybe you're misreading the signs. He did say today was supposed to be a date, so you don't get why he ignored the kiss. He knows that's the scene you'll be shooting tomorrow night. You'll be thrown back into work straight into the very scene you've been worrying about since the beginning. You were hoping he'd say something, make it easier or... You just don't know anymore. If Dacre wants a date, he should want a kiss too, right? Isn't it how it works?

Not even the fresh shower helps you understand what's going on. With you or with Dacre. Climbing into bed, you feel the wind invading the bedroom, but you're too lost in thoughts to enjoy it. The truth is that you were excited to do it, to shoot that scene and finally kiss him, but now... Now you feel as you did on the first day.

The soft notification sound of your phone gets your attention. Stretching your arm, you take it. It's a voice message from Dacre. Maybe he regrets the whole first date thing and he wants you to know... It'll only make things worse, but you should know it. The sooner the better. You're a professional, and you'll manage to do your job no matter what.

Taking a deep breath, you unlock your phone, pressing play on the message and bringing the phone to your ear.

You can hear his heavy breath before any words come. It takes a couple of seconds until his voice breaks through. “I probably shouldn't say this through a message, but I think I won't be able to sleep if I don't let you know how I feel.” A pause, something falling on the background. “Tomorrow on the scene... It won't be Billy and Amy, it'll be you and me.” This makes you sit up straight, a hand in your heart as it starts beating dangerously fast. “I can't be Billy when I'm with you, when we're so close, it just... I've been breaking character every time and I never struggled so much with a character before.” His voice is heavy with sleep. “I know you've been struggling too and I have no idea why I didn't tell you all this in the car, I just... I really like you and tomorrow I'll kiss you but I didn't want our the first kiss to be like that... So I'm just letting you know when it happens it won't be Billy, it'll be me and... And I hope it'll be you too. Good night, (Y/N).”

His voice is long gone, but you keep still, frozen, eyes on the wall across the room. You can't believe what you just heard.

×

@baker151910 @shinydixon @dreamin-of-dacre @hanoi15 @lickmymelanin @foccus @multific @uncookspaget @kellysimagines @peakascum

[whattodowithkpop]

Like a ticking clock (Seongwha)

Title: Like a ticking clock

Paring: Reader x Seongwha (ATEEZ)

Genre: Fluff, spice, slight angst but with a happy ending.

Word count: 2267

Writer: Kpopmadness (Ju)

A/N: @junquisite requested this from a Soulmates prompt. Letter T (Timer) soulmate AU with Seongwha. :D

The bell rang, jolting Seongwha from his daydream. The sound of the bell making him stop tracing patterns on his wrist. He sighed with relief that the day was finally over and he could go home. As he was putting away his books for the day he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder, making him glance to see who it was.

"You were rubbing your wrist again during class." His best friend said as she sat down in the chair opposite of him, Her long hair swooping over her shoulders and dancing along her backpack that she had placed on her lap as she stared intently at him.

Seongwha smiled shyly at her. Not sure what to say. "I can't help it. Ever since mine broke I have the weird feeling that I'm missing something. Even though I'm not really."

The thing that he was referring to was a small band about an inch wide with a small screen with dimly lit letters slayed across it. It wasn't a watch, it was nowhere near that simple. It was a countdown to meeting your soulmate.

It was something almost all young adults got by the time they were 13 years of age. Getting this soulmate watch, called Shadow, was the thing the world over agreed would lead to true happiness in people's love lives. Which did work, the divorce rates plummeted after Shadow was released. The cases of domestic abuse even went down. Because Shadow was designed to make people happy and find the one people were truly meant to be with.

Seongwha remembered going to the Shadow company with his parents when he was 13 to get his Shadow activated. Getting a Shadow was a choice made by all parents. But 95% of the worlds population had a Shadow. So his parents were one of those that decided to get him a Shadow. He didn't much care for knowing when he would meet his soulmate, but he went along for his parents. When it was placed on his wrist and the small screen glowed with life it read him his time.

9 years, 15 hours, 65 seconds

His mother glowed with excitement for him. He didn't quite know what to think of it. But he felt a small spark of joy light in his chest. That's why when he was 15 and he accidently broke his Shadow, he felt a strange sense of loss. His parents said they could replace it. But Seongwha didn't want to do that quite yet. Because he was unsure if he wanted to know if he even still had a soulmate now that he was in his last two months of high school. But ever since that day, he always rubbed his wrist. Reaching for the soft feel of the silicone band but never finding it there.

"You can just always get a new one, Seong." His best friend said softly, jolting him from his thoughts.

"I know I can." He said, standing up to throw his pack over his shoulder. "But you're one to talk about getting a Shadow, miss rebellious."

She smiled at his wit as they walked down the hall to the exit. "Some of us don't want a small device to tell us who we should be with."

Seongwha chuckled at her classic stubbornness. She was one of the few that never got a Shadow. Her parents had decided against it. And since it wasn't law that you were supposed to have a Shadow, she never had one. She swore she was happy without it. Which is something Seongwha admired about her a lot when they met when they were 11.

"Are we hanging out at my place later tonight?" She asked him, making him meet her eyes.

"Are we watching another horror film?" He whined, knowing how much she loved the classic horror movies. Especially the black and white films.

"No, its your turn to pick a movie tonight." She sassed back, playfully nudging his ribs with her elbow.

Seongwha let out a laugh. "I'll see you at 8 then?"

8:00 on Friday's being their stay up all night and watch movies routine since they were 16.

"See you then." She said cheerfully as they parted ways.

``````````

4 years later;

"Seongwha, we are not watching that movie again."

"Why not?" He argued. "It's a good movie."

She shoots him a glare as she slumps onto his couch in his studio apartment. "You have picked that movie nearly every time on Friday nights since High School."

"And you have an obsession with black and white horror films and insist on picking them every time its your turn to pick." Seongwha shoots back.

"It is not an obsession!" She says as she throws a pillow at him, making him laugh.

"Fine, we'll both pick a new movie this time." He said, caving into her wishes. There was no point in arguing over it now after they had kept up their movie night ritual for years.

She smiled at him as he sat down on the couch beside her. Both of them going through their options of new movies and shows to start. They finally settled on a newer romantic movie and settled in to watch it. Her head rested on his shoulder like it almost always did. Their physical closeness nothing new to either one of them. It was comforting to them. As the movie progressed, Seongwha felt his fingers trace the spot of where his Shadow used to be. He still kept a mental timer of when he was supposed to meet his soulmate. But this was the year it was supposed to happen, and the year was half over and nothing had happened to him. And he had no way of knowing who it was or when they would enter his life.

Seongwha let out a sigh and let his hand fall away from tracing his wrist. He forced his attention back on the characters playing out on the screen. As he scooted down further into the couch, her head remained on his shoulder. Making him rest his head against hers with a content sigh. Even if he didn't have a soulmate, he knew he could always rely on her to be there.

The movie hit its climax for the couple on the screen. Leading to a passionate kissing scene between the two. Seongwha felt her tense beside him, knowing she got uncomfortable with these types of scenes. But his heartbeat went up when he fingers traced his wrist where his Shadow used to be. Her touches felt different in that moment somehow.

Heat coursed through him as she lifted her head slowly to meet his eyes. Their gaze lasting much longer than normal. Seongwha's eyes darted from her eyes to her mouth, unsure what to do. He had always viewed them as just friends. But in that moment he felt very differently.

He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by her lips crashing against his. He froze beneath her touch, his lips unwilling to move. But then as if by second nature his lips enclosed hers and his eyes drifted shut, letting every touch soak in completely. His hands drifted until he found her thighs and brought her onto his lap. Her hands sliding from his chest up to weave through his hair.

Seongwha placed a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her even closer to him, suddenly unable to get her close enough to him. He let his tongue run against hers, making her sigh out into his mouth and a rush of adrenaline course through his veins like fire.

She pressed her body closer to his, her teeth biting his lower lip until he could feel it had swollen slightly. His hands shook slightly as they found their way under her shirt, making her tense to his tracings down her spine.

She pulled away from his mouth only slightly to whisper, ''Can we take this to your room?" She asked between labored breaths.

Seongwha felt the words form in his throat, he could feel his arms carry her back to his room. But the words never left his mouth and the actions never followed through.

"I… we can't." He whispered, pulling his hands out from under her shirt.

She met his eyes, hurt and confusion lacing them. "Why?"

"Because… what if we aren't soulmates?" He asked quietly.

You didn't have to listen to what Shadow said about meeting your soulmate. Some never met their soulmate due to them passing away. That left them with the choice of going with someone that wasn't your soulmate, or never trying to replace the love you dreamed of getting from the one that was supposed to be made for you.

But Seongwha had seen it happen before. He had seen where two people fell in love that weren't soulmates. And it might have worked for awhile or right at first. But nothing hurts worse than one day seeing your real soulmate on the street and having the burning thought that you could've made all the right memories with that one. And from their any founded relationship rarely lasts.

She slides off his lap, sitting beside him. Her lips swollen and her eyes brimming with tears. "So you're saying you can’t be with me because you don't think we're meant to be together?"

Seongwha shook his head, trying to take her hands in his but only to have her shrink away from him.

"No, no, no that isn't what I'm saying. I'm just saying that I remember this was supposed to be the year I found my soulmate. And I can't put you through the pain of getting attached to me only to see who was really meant to be with me walk into my life."

She shook her head, tears starting to streak down her cheeks. "You have obsessed over that stupid device since we were kids, Seongwha. And I have loved you since we were 15. But maybe you're right. If you're so obsessed over finding your soulmate then, fine. Maybe we just need to call this off right now."

She stood to leave, quickly going to the door to put on her shoes and coat. Seongwha quickly stood up, his own heart beginning to ache and throb.

"That isn't what I meant and you know it." He snapped. "I don't want to hurt you. A soulmate can be a close friend but it rarely ever works out that way. And I never knew a kiss could mean as much to me as yours just did but I just don't want to hurt you later."

She opened the door and sighed, looking at him through bleary eyes. "Just save it." She whispered brokenly before shutting the door behind her. Leaving Seongwha in the dark.

A few days passed and they did manage to talk things out some. But things were awkward and they couldn't get around it. That's why when she got a job offer on the other side of the world Seongwha felt it was wrong to stop her from going. Wrong to stop her from being happy.

``````

2 years later;

Seongwha walked through the park with a mass of butterflies swirling in his stomach. He placed his fingers on his right wrist again to feel the soft silicone pressed against his skin. He had bought a new Shadow a year ago. He expected not to have a soulmate anymore since the year he was supposed to have one came and went. But that wasn't the case. It ticked and ticked until it got to this day. A day he was anxious for.

But nothing could have prepared him for the person he saw in the park. Standing by the railings over looking the river was his first kiss, his best friend, and now, with how his Shadow was blinking rapidly with a red heart dancing on the screen and how she looked down at her watch to see it doing the same, he knew she was going to be a lot more than all those things in the future.

When their eyes met across the small space between them, their eyes filled with tears. And Seongwha didn't fight it when she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Her familiar scent filling his nose and soothing him.

"You got a Shadow after all." He lightly teased, his head still buried in her neck.

She let out a watery chuckle. "Because I got curious. And I always hoped it would be you on the other side of all this. Because I have missed you so much and I am so sorry about--"

Seongwha silenced her by taking her face in his hands and attaching his lips to hers. Joy sparking in his chest. She melted into his touch, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Slowly, Seongwha pulled away, smiling down at her as their noses brushed each other. "I missed you too." He whispered, making his smile up at him.

[giulsherondale]

"Welcome Eda!"

Ehm Balca, dear, this is not your home so please don't behave like it is... Ahh my nerves.

And more the earrings tactic... Soo childish. I really can't stand her.

Loved that Eda literally throw the popcorn into Serkan's belly😂

And Sirius at the end, I love my son.

Honestly... I really love Ferit and Ceren together. They are so cute, and I love how Ferit is trying to correct his mistake. He confesses that he is love with her, that he constantly thinks about her. So sweet.

Serkan telling Eda that the first time they met she used the same tactic of Balca because she forget her bag in his car. I love flirty Serkan and the fact that he remembers everything about Eda and their relationship.

The bet, honestly this is only the pretext so that Serkan can take Eda to Paris and have a romantic moment so the two of them.

"What does Efe wants?"

"You heard. I said I'll talk to him in the office."

"How strange. Not answering anyone's calls, and doesn't answer questions. But he calls you."

"I still work for him Serkan. Did you forgot? Okay, let's move on to our bet. Perhaps you agree that I won."

"I've told you. Nothing is clear yet."

"What has to happen for you to understand? How much clearer should it be? She ordered the same dish."

"Maybe."

"She said she was interested in the stars."

"Everyone loves stars."

"This was not enough, she also said 'Love' looking into your eyes Serkan."

"I think when she talked about love she was thinking about another person Eda."

"She answered by looking at you."

"Who else Eda? There were two people in front of her. Either you or me. Should she look at the salt shaker?"

"Either you are really stupid, or you pretend not to understand. Okay. It won't last long. It is seen, in a couple of days she will already confess her love to you."

"And you will win the bet right?"

"Of course. It's not my business."

"I agree."

"At the end of the day, what matters is how you respond to Balca's attention."

"You're right. This is a special topic that only concerns me and Balca. This is between us."

"Between you? There is something? Then I will call her."

"Eda sit down please. You..."

"I'm not jealous of you Serkan Bolat."

"You're not jealous... Really?"

"Think for yourself what could have been. Is this funny?"

"Okay... But I'm jealous of you like crazy. What to do about it?"

"You crossed the boundaries again. We'd better have coffee in the office."

"Let's have coffe here."

"I have something important to discuss with Efe. We will have coffee in the office."

"Efe can wait."

"Then I'll send him a message."

"No emoji."

This was hilarious. Eda kicking Serkan under the table and Balca was obviously flirting all the time. I loved Eda expression, she was so jealous. Serkan is soo smart, I think that he is well aware that Balca is flirting with him and he pretend not to see in order to push Eda to near to him. My smart babe.

Engin and Piril... I really like them. They are opposite of each other but they are so in love. And I think their love is actually more stronger that the difference they have. And they take out the best part of each other.

"As if there is an invisible connection between them."

Balca, dear, believe me there is... There is. So better not to put your nose between Eda and Serkan because nothing will change.

"Your coffee Eda Yildiz. Much better now. When you aren't stressed, you're becoming even more beautiful."

"Don't stress me out then."

"I don't."

This moment was so sweet and romantic. Obviously ruined by Balca. And then when Eda takes his coffee mug I was laughing out loud. Love that my girl is marching HER territory.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING BALCA?! I think she is really stupid because of course by removing the paper in the dossier Serkan will lose faith in Eda but you're damaging everyone and the holding too. She's so silly. And Balca even said that she felt hurt by seeing Eda and Serkan close the night before... Darling you know him for two days what the hell???? I hate her really.

Soo the interview and the photoshoot aren't enough... Balca you aren't spending too much time alone with Serkan and you even ask him to get a photo together and post it... Balca age 33... Balca real age 10.

"Well, until I'm 100% sure, this bet will continue Eda."

"What else should happen to make you 100% sure? What else? I'm just wondering."

"For example... When she look at me I have to feel that everything inside of her melts... When she's trying not to show her excitement... I have to see it by the way she look away... And when she try to stand firm... I have to see that her heart starts to beat faster... In her breath, in her voice, in her scent, even in her veins... I must feel this love."

"Serkan..."

"When she says my name... I must feel everything inside of her tremble."

TOO MUCH HOTNESS IN THIS SCENE🔥

Serkan reads her like a book... Honestly I don't know what to say about this scene... It speaks for itself. And plus new Serkan is enjoying his life, especially when he has the woman who he's in love with in front of him... Ahh Serkan❤️

"I really need Serkan"

Sorry Balca maybe I did not understand well... You NEED Serkan? For what? I really don't get her and I think I never will.

"His partner will arrive tomorrow and he wanted me to bring some flowers to his house and get everything in order."

"You went to his house? While I was doing the interview, you were at this man's house?"

"Yes I was. But there was nobody here. So I left some flowers and left. Anything else?"

"What kind of psycho would want flowers in his house? Is he romantic?"

"What's the problem? At least he doesn't have any allergies."

"And I also have another kind of allergy."

"What kind?"

"I'm allergic to Efe. I don't trust him."

"You should trust me. I know what's right and what's wrong."

Ohhh Eda, honey, you don't have an idea how wrong you are... And I love that Serkan says that he's allergic to Efe. My jealous boy.

I really like boys time, I like when Serkan, Engin and Ferit are together. And every each of them have some suspects on Efe,his behavior and the secret partner.

"You won."

"What?"

"You won."

"What did I win?"

"You won the bet."

"What bet?"

"Serkan, you won the bet."

"Ah... Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Balca is a little in doubt, so it happened. But she may still like you."

"Of course."

"I'm sure about it. You cannot change my opinion. She's just not running after you. As a result you won I lost."

"As a result, then, we are going to have dinner in Paris."

"It seems to me not to worth so many adventures. We can just go to that restaurant with flowers..."

"No no. A bet is a bet. Is it not? Therefore, after the results of the tender are announced tomorrow, we will take my plane and fly to Paris."

"It seems that I have no other choice."

GIVE US EDSER IN PARIS PLEASE✨❤️

During the ice skating scene was like the director told them to do whatever they want, have fun with each other, just be themselves. And I think we saw that, everyone was having fun, was laughing. In fact I really loved the scene it was one of my favorite of the whole episode.

"What?"

"I haven't laughed like that for a long time. It did me good."

"Me too."

"You keep well on ice."

"Ah yes? I am good in the air, on the ground, on the ice, in the elevators when you're around."

"Stop showing off. And when I'm not there?"

"You are always there. And you always will."

"Maybe tomorrow... Instead of going to Paris, can we eat fish and bread on the water front?"

"I will never agree. We will fly to Paris anyway. Have you ever benn to Paris before?"

"No. If you've noticed, I don't even ask you."

"I went. But to be honest, this is the first time I'm so worried."

"You probably planned everything hourly now. What are we going to do?"

"Yes. We will have a wonderful tourist route. First we will climb the Eiffel Tower, and then visit the best cafes and pastry shops. We will dine in restaurants. And then we will meet the order over the Seine. And then the Bridge of Arts and the Bridge of Lovers. But of course, none of this worries me so much..."

"Yes? What worries you?"

"Get lost with you in Montmartre."

"You won't get lost. You will not be lost anywhere. It seems to me that you even have a map of places where you are going in your head."

"You're right. But I've never been there before."

"Why?"

"Because I gave myself my word. I promised myself that I would go there with the girl that I really love. And it's you."

"Suddenly it got hot..."

Plus we got Serkan saying "Mon amour, je t'aime" and when she said that she understood what he said Serkan throw the ultimate romantic bomb "Because love has no linguage".

THIS IS POETIC CINEMA✨

Who the hell is Piril father?!😳

He has to be someone really important. He even has the guards.

And the final... Boommm... Grandma has come. I can't wait to see her and her plans.. In the fragment we saw that she will help Balca with Serkan because se has a "future husband" for Eda... Clearly grandma has no idea who Serkan Bolat is, he will never give up on Eda. Moreover I think that grandma arrivals is the thing that will unite Aydan, Ayfer, Eda and Serkan. They will work as a team against grandma. I can't wait to see it.

[jessiebanethedragon]

BOG to YYZ (Javier x reader)

Hey all! not too sure where this came from, but i was walking in the snow today and had this idea of bringing Javi home for the first time!  I’m Canadian so it takes place in Canada, sorry it’s not more ambiguous i just felt compelled to belt this one shot out outta nowhere. 

Please let me know what you think!

Javier x Canadian!Reader

Javier was such a beautiful sleeper, you lost count of how many sleepless nights you spent watching him softly snore. Those humid days in Bogata, and anxiety ridden nights in Medellin were overshadowed by him shirtless and passed out on your bed, those nights where he’d pull you closer and closer in his sleep for fear of you slipping away. And the dull ache in your neck from looking up at his face, finally calm while he slept. 

Seeing him now feels so different, passed out in the window seat of the airplane, dress shirt unwrinkled and hand not hovering above his belt where he kept his gun. The Narcos were gone, Pablo Escobar no more. 

“What will you do when we’ve caught him?” You’d asked one night, stuck in a cop car just outside of a narcos den, waiting for something to happen. 

“What will you do maravillosa?” He retorted, pulling his sunglasses down to look into your eyes, even though in the dead of night he didn’t need them anyways. 

“I’d like to see my family again.” You told him softly, thinking of the thick snowflakes and broad pine trees sent pangs of longing through your chest. 

“You never talk about them.” Javier commented, lighting a cigarette and opening his window. 

“You never talk about yours.” You quipped back, noticing his raised eyebrow even though he was staring at the Sicario den across the street. Your voice, he noted, was softer now, the same way it would soften when you whispered reassuringly to him after a particularly bad day. 

“I don’t like my family.” He pressed, purposely leaving  gasps in the conversation in hopes of getting you to talk. 

“Well, i don’t really either, i guess my family isn’t really my family, it’s more close friends, and then their families, i don’t know, it just made sense to me when i was little, and i never thought about it I guess,” You were playing with your hands again out of nerves, and he was startled to realise, you wanted him to like your family. 

“That’s what we’ll do then.” Javier told you firmly. Flicking his cigarette to the ground even though he wasn’t done with it yet. You began to smile at him before you caught movement from the building, two figures exiting out a side door. One hand flying to the car door and the other to your gun, moving to get out of the car, Javies hand stopped you. 

“I mean it, when this is over we’ll fly out, I'll meet your folks, we can stay for a bit, put this whole mess behind us. I mean it Maravillosa.” You really smiled at that, and pulled him in for a quick kiss to seal the promise. 

“Well then, let's catch these Batados then.” You smirked, and Javier didn’t even have it in him to tell you that you’d said Batted instead of Bastards. 

Landing in Toronto in early January was something else entirely. The snow had settled firmly by late december and now all there was to greet people was frigid winds and dangerous ice. And yet you couldn't stop smiling at the familiar biting cold and puffs of air that could be seen as you exhaled. 

Finding your excitedly waiting family was a mission all on its own. Becoming a fluster of hugs, hellos, and ‘we’ve heard so much about you’ to your boyfriend in a situation that you thought for sure wasn’t Javier friendly. 

“Kiddos run ahead and get the car started for your auntie, it’s been a long time since  she was  in the cold.” You sister said, passing along the keys to her children who took off running through the car park. 

“Thanks.” You said trying to subtly wrestle Javi into a beanie and out of his baseball hat. And pulling a face when he kept meeting you hands as you went to put the hat on. 

“We saw the news,” your mum whispered. “Are you both okay?” 

“He’s dead.” You stated, “that's all that matters, wasn't either of us who pulled the trigger anyways.” 

“Your mum wanted to throw a party.” Your dad chuckled, oh how you missed his brashness. “Celebrate the asshole being dead.” Javier chuckled. 

“That sounds like a party I'd be interested in.” 

Javier hates the snow. He hates wearing the stupid jackets and having to preapre himself with various layers and accessories just to be able to walk out the front door. He hates having to clean off the car,  and most of all he hates how dark it gets halfway through the afternoon. On top of that he never knows what in the hell your dad is talking about and he’s sick of trying to remember the difference between a Toonie and a Loonie. Why did he think this was a good idea? And why the fuck did he think he’d fit in with your family? But it’s you, and he’d do anything for you, so even on the days when he wants to take off back to columbia, leave like he did at the altar of his last meaningful relationship, he wouldn't do that to you. 

You’re sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee that gets extended to him as he joins you, taking a sip and grimacing at the amount of sugar that's in it he hands the cup back. 

“My mum says they're all going over to my aunt and uncles tonight.” You tell him, waiting to gauge his reaction.  

“I thought you hated your aunt?” He says stealing your cup again after you’ve had a sip, still pulling a face at how sweet the beverage is. 

“No this is my aunt who isn't really my aunt.” You explain. 

“Ohhh, you mean the couple that lived next to you guys who are more like grandparents?” Javier asks, trying to keep names and people straight in his head. You make a noise of conformation as you take another sip of coffee.  

“I can get us out of going.” You offer, 

“Why would we do that?” Javier questions, confused, maybe he was missing something, or confusing them with someone else but as far as he knew you loved this side of your non-family. 

“I don’t know, there’s gonna be a lot of people there, and it’s really different from Columbia and you hate the snow and…” You trail off. 

“And?” he’s pushing you to continue talking. Damn DEA tactics, you think to yourself. 

“And I think you hate it here.” You say flatly, months of fighting dirty in Columbia has hardened you, there's no such thing as letting it down gently anymore. 

“I don’t hate it here.” He lies. “it’s just…” he stops for a moment. “It's just not Columbia.” 

“Do you  want to go back to Columbia?” You ask, you’ve been nervous to have this conversation, but you don’t show it, another perk of dealing with the world's most dangerous drug dealers, you’ve learned to hide your fears. 

“No... yes, no. Maybe.” Javier admits, thinking back to that first day, when you showed up at the embassy, long sleeves and cardigan like it wasnt hot as hell outside. How you stumbled through spanish and furred your eyebrows every time he talked too fast. 

“We can go, if you want.” Your voice brings him back to the moment. “We can go back to Columbia.” 

“Maravillosa…” Javier sighs, pulling you into his chest. 

“I don’t mind, honestly.” You tell him, scared he’s slipping further away the longer he stays. 

“I don’t want to go back to Columbia.” He tells you with a kiss on your head. 

“Promise?” 

“sí prometo.” 

Now this is Javier's kind of scene, you’re crowded around the fireplace in someone's garage passing around food and alcohol without a care in the world. He’s settled into a campfire chair, one arm over your shoulder with a beer in his hand and a cigarette in his mouth, courtesy of your extended family. They listen to all his plights in Colombia and respond with warm laughs and calming comments. This is something he could get used to, maybe not the snow, but when a friend of your dad's friend offers to take him hunting, Javier actually finds himself wanting to go, and not only to upstage Steve the next time he sees him. It’s so picture perfect that the Javier Pena who existed before he met you would’ve gagged at the sight. 

And yet, when his phone rings, and he excuses himself to take it, standing outside in the horrible weather. Answering it with a “Pena”, and rubbing his forehead in anxiety as the voice on the other side begins to talk, he cuts them off. 

“I’ll be in Bogata by the end of the week.” He tells the DEA agent on the other end of the line, he does it without thinking, without hesitating. And when he stomps out of the cigarette in the snow, he wonders how he is going to tell you that now, after everything he went through,  after all his promises, he is going after the Cali Cartel. 

Translations: 

Maravillosa - Gorgeous 

sí prometo - I  promise

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Long Nights - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Eddie Vedder - Long nights

I’ve already talked about it in another post a bit, so--

For the first time, I had a full series figured out even before I started writing. All the arcs, main plot points, even the final conversation! I even had a 3h long playlist with all the songs that would come in handy along the way, but still, none of them was the one (so basically same thing that happened with Smoke series)

I started thinking about the main theme and/or drive for our new Reader, and then it hit me. There already is a story with that vibe, and it has such an amazing soundtrack.

So I opened Spotify and browsed through the album.

And I found it.

The overall mood was not something that was going to be helpful at the beginning of the series, but oh my, those lyrics were it for all the things I had planned.

//Have no fear

For when I'm alone

I'll be better off than I was before//

That’s R, all right. Not afraid to be alone, she prefers it. Nothing can hurt her, unlike when she gets too invested. Commitment issues and whatnot.

//Long nights allow me to feel...

I'm falling...I am falling

The lights go out

Let me feel

I'm falling

I am falling safely to the ground//

Knowing what I was about to put R through, this looks only fitting, don’t you think?

Chapter 1: Sigrid - Don’t kill my vibe

I could see LN!R so clearly. I wanted to explore some of my favourite rogue tropes, and she was perfect for it. In my head, she was definitely younger than the other two from my previous series. A bold type, a joker, but serious when it comes to her craft. Not with the same heavy emotional baggage (not at the start, at least - I felt like, opposed to Smoke!R who was more about distracting herself when she felt too much, our new R would be more about denial, or hiding her issues behind her jokes).

I found this song on some random playlist, and I knew it was her.

//You shut me down, you like the control

You speak to me like I'm a child

Try to hold it down, I know the answer

I can shake it off and you feel threatened by me

I tried to play it nice but

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't kill my vibe

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't break my stride//

To me, that was that moment she gets dragged into the car. Not having the obvious lies TP feeds her, definitely finding them all and the stuff they throw at her hilarious, calling them out on their bullshit without thinking twice over it.

//Guess you're surprised I'm the puzzle you can't figure out//

That got me an idea for part 2 and the coffee situation - come on, you know I can’t resist that trope when it comes to Neil, I think it’s an excellent way to get to know the characters a little bit and tell something more about the dynamic.

Tom Grennan - I might

To me, it’s another character introduction song.

//Oh I love, oh I love, love my freedom//

....you already know what I’m getting at, right?

//Don't want no one taking up my time

Staying on my mind, changing up my life

Don't want no one messing up my bed

Fucking with my head, it's no lie//

That’s her. R hates to be manipulated, that’s why she’s mad at Mahir. I didn’t want to put all the angst here, but I knew there was something deeper hidden there, after his comment about her trust issues. I didn’t know what exactly, but I knew it would come in handy later.

There was one spin on the story I was playing with - where she actually lets them all lead her on for a while, a whole elaborate ruse to get her invested and onboard, but that was a lot of drama quite early on, and I wanted this to be a lighter series (oh shush, I am well aware how that played out in the end, I tried, alright? Not my fault I apparently can’t come up with a story without sprinkling it with a shitload of angst)

//But when you look at me like that

I might//

See, this is when I stopped. I didn’t think R would be falling head over heels for Neil right from the start. That’s why the heart beating faster at the end of the chapter was supposed to be about the lock and something finally sparking her curiosity, taking her out of the boredom of everyday life.

Kings of Leon - Find me

That’s more chapter-specific.

//I really wanna know your name

See your face, know who you are, who you are

How did ya find me, how did ya find me?

What are you looking for, are you looking for

How did ya find me how did ya find me

Up in the shadow, picking up my load//

I found it quite fitting the moment R meets Neil again and he drags her to a back alley, and then again, in the car. She isn’t scared, more like fascinated, she finds the whole thing exciting, even.

American Authors - I’m born to run

Oh my god, the vibe of this song! This is that need for freedom and carelessness I needed to tap into.

//I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come

Do whatever I want like I'm born to run

I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo

I wanna be careless even if I break my bones

I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

All these things I've seen and done

I live my life like I'm born to run//

The Pretty Reckless - Prisoner

Another random song I found one day while I was cooking breakfast. I was like “oooh, I dig that!” and then I listened to the lyrics and I knew I needed it for this story.

//You could have my body

But you can't have me

I know I'm a criminal

Don't you tell on me//

That’s it. Her. I knew that would be handy for the moment Neil breaks after all the teasing. And that criminal bit. I mean - come on!

Missy Elliot - Work it

(This is technically part 2 but it was messing with the flow on the playlist and I’m leaving it here)

Okay, this is quite meta and corny, because this is probably one of the oldest jokes you can find for Tenet, and I’ve been battling with myself if I should even put it here, but I referenced it in the chapter, so here we are. I’ve loved this song for years, and when I was trying to think what would R listen to while she tries to clear her head while she works on the bloody inverted lock - that was the only thing that seemed appropriate.

//Come on

Is it worth it? Let me work it

I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it

Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i//

...you see what I mean?

Chapter 2: Praise you

God, okay, this song - when I heard it while I was working on the story, it brought a movie-like montage of scenes in front of my eyes. You know the type, when they try to show you how the time passes, how someone progressively becomes better at something. That was Neil, working on those locks. R giving him tips, then teasing him. The way he loses his cool, only to slowly gain confidence, and then how she ups her game, both of them getting their bits of satisfaction from the whole game.

//We've come a long long way together

Through the hard times and the good

I have to celebrate you baby

I have to praise you like I should//

Have I ever told you when exactly I got the idea for the series? When I was writing that hostage situation fic and the moment R remembers her lockpicking sessions. I thought - what if it was the other way around? What if that was Neil who was about to start learning about picking locks?

It had so much potential for ✨hand content✨ and how could I resist?

...And I knew that R would see what I’m seeing, and she would rather like it. And the image of a very flustered Neil while she teases the hell out of him? Yep, yep, yep.

Sam Fender - Start again

This one definitely starts that montage as well, the repetition of going over and over again. Even if the whole song is definitely heavier than I needed, I decided to keep it, mostly for this part:

//Let's start again

Let's learn to talk

Without the fear of being heard

'Cause everybody's listening to everything and everybody

Let's pull the cord

Move below

Let's start again//

Chapter 3: Billy Raffoul - Difficult

Ah, Billy. And when I found this one, I got goosebumps, because I instantly knew that if I had to choose one song for them, it would probably be this one.

//You never get lost in love, you only get lost in me

You never can get enough of whatever you think you need

No matter how hard I try I never can beat this rush

Ain't nobody get me high, feel lighter when we touch//

This fits them so well, innit? We know how R feels about this whole love thing, she enjoys a good shag, and I had a feeling that after such a build-up, that night together would be something quite amazing, for both of them.

//We never get lost in love, we only get lost in sheets

You'd rather just shut me off whenever we get too deep//

That’s the moment when they have a vibe check in the morning. They had fun. Is it gonna affect their dynamic? They’re attracted to each other, they understand one another. Can they keep it casual? We know that R can, or at least she thinks so, but what about Neil? We know he’s a soft idiot, but I specifically imagined a bit younger version of him for this story - he had to be, if he was just learning about lockpicking. So the whole “no dating, just sex” could be fine with him for a while, but would he catch feelings anyway? Probably, yeah. And sooner than later.

//And now I'm standing in the rain

And your hair, it's falling in your face

And I know we're doing the right thing//

Not the rain, but shower, kinda works too, right? And I already knew that the rain would be a pretty important factor a little bit further into the story.

//But I can't help wondering, who will take my place?//

Ouch.

//On and off, difficult

Too in love to let it go

Now, who's gonna hold me like you do?//

The emotions in this bit, dear lord. It’s this high that takes your breath away, sweeps you off your feet, scorches the reality, and leaves no survivors.

That being said, I don’t think they are really in love at this point. They really care for each other, though, that’s where the softness comes from.

//Hmm who's gonna hold you like I do?//

I literally gasped when I heard that last line. Hits right in the heart, just as I like it.

Rhys Lewis - Waking up without you

There’s something in this song that makes it incredibly sexy. It was great for the morning after vibe, where they don’t really have enough of each other yet.

//Skin on skin

We didn't finish what we started

Heart to heart

I'm missing your love//

Keir - Probably

The way it flows? How powerful the chorus is? It’s heavy, hot, and just makes my heart beat faster.

//Colliding were the walls

And I forget where I began

I wish I could remember love//

Holy fuck. It always makes me think of something awakening deep inside R, definitely not ready to be acknowledged at that moment in the story.

//Probably underneath

There's a remedy

Possibly in the air

In the oxygen I breathe

Probably//

And this part is just mind-blowing. There’s this longing there, and if that feeling isn’t perfect for something more steamy, then I don’t know what is.

Dermot Kennedy - Glory

This one just… expands my heart? I don’t know how else to explain it. Especially the chorus. And then when I think of it in the context of the story, I somehow place it in TP’s office, when Neil gets all protective and doesn’t want to risk taking Reader on a mission where something can so easily go wrong, only because he isn’t prepared enough.

//A set of eyes had pinned him

Became his version of a kingdom

She's everything the devil can't be

When she's singing to me "Glory"//

Maybe that’s when he starts to realize that he cares more than he thought.

Rhys Lewis - Living in The City

If the previous song was Neil’s perspective, we’re back to R. Just look at the lyrics:

//I've been living in the city too long

I've been given everything that I've got

Been a sinner and a saint

Crazy, and sane

I've been living in the city too long//

We’re kinda circling back to part 1, that need to skip town, right?

//There's a part of my soul that wants to let go

Wants to just run away

But the rest of my soul says I should stay

I should stay//

And now we’re back when she can say that the mission is not her problem, she did the best she could, and TP can go fuck himself. Is it just that she feels responsible for her student? Or she likes him enough so she has to make sure he succeeds and comes back? Or she sees a friend in need, something to open, and doesn’t think twice about it?

Chapter 4: Bastille - World gone mad

God, do I love this song.

//So this is where we are

It's not where we had wanted to be

If half the world's gone mad

The other half just don't care, you see

You don't want to fuck with us

British to the very last

When it feels like the world's gone mad

And there's nothing you can do about it

No there's nothing you can do about it//

It felt so accurate for the part when R gets to see all that inverted reality? There’s a slight heaviness of heart there, and it matches the mood when she feels overwhelmed. On the other hand, there’s a bit of hope, the feeling of not being alone in this mad world, and that’s all that matters.

Who’s Molly - Touch the sky

Badass. Pure and simple. It hypes you up, brings a smile to your face, makes you believe everything is possible.

//We can never see beyond that horizon.

And no one knows this road and where it's going to lead.

But there's one thing, one thing that's for certain.

We'll make it through.

If you were here with me.//

That softer bit with inverted guns. And later on, throughout the chapter. They both find comfort in each other’s presence on the mission, after all.

//I wasted so much time trying to find a meaning.

I never looked up, couldn't seem to turn around.

And then you crashed in, and you gave my life a reason.

You pick me up, so high and my feet won't touch the ground, no no no.

Never would have thought I could win this battle.

I was left for dead, every hope in tatters.

We're going to set the world alight tonight.

Cause we can touch the sky!//

That’s the excitement and fun they’re having on the training grounds, not at all stressed about what’s to come.

//Close your eyes, free your soul.

You feel it, don't try it, then you’ll never know.//

Ah, and we’re here at my favourite reference to feeling something, thank you Mr Nolan, sir, so useful.😌

Dermot Kennedy - Young & free

Another one by Dermot Kennedy, and definitely not the last.

//All that she said to me stays with me, never to die

Held me brand new in the silence that went through the pines

Like I said already darling, I don't want you looking back at all the ghosts left behind

Know you'll stay near me so road remains hopeful this time

We were young

We were free, come on now, let it go//

The little whiplash in the mud, where they share a short moment, before they follow with the crackheadery, maybe partly to push back from coming close to something more meaningful. Because it’s there already, kindling, waiting to be spotted and recognized.

James Gillespie - Don’t let me get me

Okay, so - the original song by P!nk was always something that resonated with me, so when Spotify recommended that one, I was like “okay, I’m not sure why but let’s try it.” And then it brought me to that scene in the container.

//I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

It's bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating//

To be honest, I didn’t plan on R to have such a strong case of a mean brain. It was supposed to be a lighter series 🙃. But as you already know, those characters have minds of their own, and it kinda sorta happened. I knew it would be more of a simple panic than full-blown panic attacks that haunted StuckIn!R, topped with pretty loud intrusive thoughts causing her to spiral, especially when she was exhausted.

Ruelle - Oh my my

Listen to that one and tell me you don’t want to go on a sneaky mission, I dare you. I even had it noted as my title song, but then I switched to Bastille.

//I can feel it in my bones, in my bones

Hear it rumble like a drum, like a drum

Like a vapor in the wind, in the wind

You never see us creeping in, creeping in

Oh my my, oh my my

You never stood a chance

...

Ready or not, here we come//

The vibe is just amazing. The low-key hype? Is that a thing? It must be. And those drums! Even quite fitting for a patter of rain, one might argue.

Speaking of rain--

Chapter 5: Dermot Kennedy - After rain

The title alone is perfect for this chapter, but the rest of it - my poor heart. This chapter and the finale have some of the most beautiful and/or heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever heard, and this one is definitely one of them.

//But it's alright because

You cause lanterns to light

And force demons disperse

And if Lucifer may fear the swift drying of tears

Then, for evil, you could not be worse

But I see you now, yeah, I see you

And release me now, kinda like dreams do

And I see you now, was hard to see you

Just don't forget to sing

Remember everything//

So we have Neil storming off from the bathroom because he’s clearly going through something. The immense guilt brewing inside him, overflowing and backfiring, when he can’t cope with seeing her so battered, knowing that she may never fully recover, and just because he hesitated out there. The fear is there, but also other feelings he tries to keep in check now.

I had that image of R asking him to stay, then just breaking down in the darkness. I was aware it would only add to the issues Neil already had, but it would be nothing compared to the fact that she needs him, and he’d be ready to push everything that bothered him away to comfort her.

Humming a lullaby that he promised her in the container. And R recognized it (kind of), because he used parts of it to plead with her to stay with him after the fall, so she could one day hear the whole thing, because she took that rain check and she needed to cash it in, right?

...yeah, I like breaking my own heart, why? (should I write that part one day?)

//If you think just maybe it's her

Then promise me, young man, you're gonna let her know

You won't go lonely, yeah

It'll all be better in the morning

'Cause while you sleep, I'll build a wall//

Aquillo - Six feet over ground

Whenever I hear this song now, my mind goes to that scene in the bathroom.

//Today's the day I found myself alright

When I look ahead, pretend it never came.

I found a way to keep my head above

But the hardest part is to say 'No it's not'

Well I'm okay, and I'm still breathing

I'm still six feet over ground

But you don't need to know now

You don't need to know how I'm doing//

They both hide how they really feel. That they are not okay. They’re both scared, blaming themselves. Reader doesn’t want to worry Neil too much, but she also tries to convince herself that she is fine. And a moment of peace they share shatters as soon as she downplays what happened aloud, and when Neil goes off, she hides behind yet another joke, and then behind a blindfold.

Aquilo - Silhouette

The one for when R tells Neil goodnight and then can’t fall asleep. //Devil's on your shoulder

Strangers in your head

As if you don't remember

As if you can forget

It's only been a moment

It's only been a lifetime

But tonight you're a stranger

Some silhouette //

When he comes to check in on her, and something feels off. She’s lost, yet finds enough strength to ask him to stay.

//Just hold me//

Nathan Ball - Drifting

//I can see in your eyes

When you lie awake at night

You convince yourself you're fine, it's alright

To keep on drifting

With the drugs keeping you high

They catch you falling from the sky

I keep asking myself why

You stand by

And keep on drifting

…

So tell me what you hold inside

Tell the backstreets of your mind

You're still lonely as a child

Teary eyed

Kept on drifting//

Knowing our Reader a bit longer by now, I knew what would happen if she was to be left alone with her thoughts, in pain, and with Neil being weirdly distant.

Have you ever lied in bed, crying silently, trying not to wake up the person next to you but getting absolutely torn apart by the sadness roaring inside you? It’s a different kind of loneliness, not helping in the slightest when you’re biting back sobs. Anyway,--

//So take my hand and hold on

Take my hand don't let go//

That’s something that happened almost organically with these two. Part of their language, hand touches as a sign of support.

I gotta admit, I watched Shadow and Bone already being in the middle of writing the series and seeing how overused the hand-holding flashback was... it there made me slightly cringe every time it came up in the story I was writing later on. On the other hand (hah), it was so them. It had to stay.

Dean Lewis - Need you now - Acoustic

//Cold light wakes me in the morning,

Your side is empty I was calling out to you,

I was calling out to you.//

That’s the next day after R’s breakdown, but check out the next lyrics.

//But I don't need your love,

I just need your

Talking next to me when I wake up, wake up

Talking next to me when I wake up next to you,

When I'm hungover too.

Cause you're the only one who comes when I'm lonely,

You're the only one who comes when I'm lonely for you,

When I'm lonely for you.

All that I need is a sweet escape,

And all that I need is a sweet escape.

...

Cause I don't need your love

But I just need you now

And I don't need your love

I just need you now//

This, y’all, is R, still convinced that it’s not about love, and it’s so perfectly put into words, but the music and the vocals are dripping with longing, making it even more spot-on for the occasion.

RHODES - Breathe

The emotions captured in this… holy shit. They clench my chest and make me struggle for breath. This could have been a song playing in the background when R wakes up from a nap to Neil having a breakdown of his own.

//Mind break in two,

There's a light in the sky, there's a light

And it's all for you

Dawn colors all

Tell me how do you feel?

Tell me how do you need to heal?//

Looking for his hand, only to find a clenched fist. And when she realizes he’s been crying and she hears how broken he is, that’s enough to make her heart shatter, doubly so because he’s agonizing over something she feels responsible for.

//Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I'll keep you warm

Come on!

Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I need your love

Come on now!//

To me, every “come on”, repeated with urgency, is how desperate she is to make him stop spiraling down when she kisses him, and then again, more purposefully, until he gives in and comes back to her.

Circa Waves - Fire that burns - Acoustic

The one for ✨the moment✨.

//Comfort me, oh comfort me

I'm lighting up

To see the day you run for me

You run for me, my love//

Because they both seek comfort in the act, two broken people mending whole in each other’s embrace. Ultimately, finding there something more, whether they are ready to acknowledge it or not.

//But I've been tied up

For days

And I've been thinking of the things that you say

And I've been wound up

Each way

I need to let you know, to let you know today//

Neil already knows how important she is to him. And that’s what he tries to say between the choked-out words, that he thought he’d lost his chance to tell her how much she means to him.

//You call me a liar

You call me so innocent

But you lit the fire

You lit the fire that burns

The fire that burns inside us

I'm not innocent

I lit the fire, the fire, the fire

I lit the fire//

Oh yes, that bit definitely seeped into the chapter.

The XCERTS - Feels like falling in love - alternative version

//Keep yourself safe, keep yourself safe she said

You broke your own heart but there's no need to lose your head

Keep yourself sane, keep yourself sane he said

You gotta give up, give up, give up the dark

To start again//

You can see it, right?

Outlining the whole story, I knew that part 5 would be the part when they fall in love, or realize that they already might be.

//And it feels like falling in, falling in love

Yeah it feels like falling in, falling in, falling in love

Could save me tonight//

The 1975 - Fallingforyou

//According to your heart

My place is not deliberate

Feeling of your arms

I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Don't you see me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

And don't you need me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

On this night, and in this light

I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you

And maybe you, change your mind//

They’re so vulnerable there. Everything Neil pours into the act sweeps R off her feet and she opens up and to let him feel the extent of how much she cares for him, unaware that it might be shifting into something from the territory she promised herself not to venture into. Because that’s not important then. Nothing else is. Just them. So simple.

Adam French - Weightless

The light and softness in this song remind me of another Weightless I used for the finale of the Smoke series.

That’s the moment after. Softness. Closeness. Bliss.

//I told ya that you were the only weight on my shoulders

You see you're gonna make it alright

How you're gonna make it alright

When you're gonna make it alright, alright, alright

You say your body will

You say your body will

Hold me in the night

...

Only you can make me weightless

...

Closer is all I ever wanted to be

There for ya so you can be confiding in me

There to break the fall

Here for everybody to see

Weightless after all//

Chapter 6: Declan J Donovan - Perfectly imperfect

I had the moment they fall in love. I knew how it was gonna end, the conversation with Mahir and how it goes from there. I thought that we need some calm before the storm that was bound to happen, and what’s better than a little domestic fluff? A time when they can see each other in a different setting, get to know one another even better. Fall even harder.

And my god, this song.

//You live like you're a secret

One that only I could know

'Cause I said

You know what I want and

I know who you are

I know when I hold you and love you

You'll get up and go before you fall apart//

...that last line hits different when you know what’s gonna happen later, right?

//I'll bring you every colour that I find

In your eyes

You wake me up

And it breaks my heart

That you're perfectly imperfect

You're hurting but you're worth it

You don't know why

I would waste my time

But I'm falling and I mean it

I want you like I need it

There's nothing you could try to change my mind

'Cause I'm in love

So call me when you want me and I'll come running

Find me waiting at your door

So tell me if you're lonely and it won't last long

'Cause I'm in love with you (you)//

That light when the song gets to the part about being in love -- there’s so much tenderness there, and it resonated with the story so much. And the perfectly imperfect line, so so good.

Bastille - Survivin’

The way the song swings and the hopeful vibe is just what I needed for this chapter.

//And I'm not gonna lie

Say I've been alright

'Cause it feels like I've been living upside down

What can I say? I'm survivin'

Crawling out these sheets to see another day

What can I say? I'm survivin'

And I'm gonna be fine

I'm gonna be fine

I think I'll be fine//

As much as Reader didn’t want Neil to be there with her for so long, she really enjoys his company, making the boring and still rather painful recovery period easier.

Ella Henderson, Tom Grennan - Let’s go home together - stripped

Ha, this one! The humour when they tease other words always brings a smile to my face. That playfulness just fits our duo’s dynamic so well.

//Maybe you'll like me the way I am//

Crazy concept, right? And with Neil learning to spot the times when she hides behind a joke, and still being there--

//Feels like I know you so well

You could be everything that I've been missing

I'm coming out of my shell

And I never do that

How did you do that?

It's like I've known you my whole life//

That’s exactly how she feels like. She intently doesn’t think about it though, because if she starts overthinking it… we know what happens. She’s allowing herself to be in the moment, however. And happy.

//You seem like someone I could be myself with, no defenses

Maybe you like me the way I am//

That brings me to all Neil’s animated rants, and how much he appreciates that she always listens. He feels accepted, and I don’t know, it melts my heart a little.

//Baby, I'm in love//

🙃

INXS - Need you tonight

I know I used a cover of this song for another playlist, but the vibe was so different, and you just have to bear with me. It’s one of those songs that sparks the ideas and images, and usually, they involve Neil being a tease and having way too much fun. And as I was plotting the chapter, I thought of R missing out on his shenanigans, and how he could make her see what he was doing, and 😳 oh my. I knew the imagination would run wild. (That definitely might have something to do with a certain scene from a certain movie and a conversation I had with M about how Neil would handle it)

//So slide over here and give me a moment

Your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know

I've got to let you know

You're one of my kind

I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleepin'

There's somethin' about you, girl

That makes me sweat//

That’s one sexy song, don’t judge me.

Dermot Kennedy - Days like this

Oh, would you look at that, it’s Dermot again! This one is for that scene on the balcony.

That quiet contentment, like everything fell in its place and life is alright.

//When it's not always raining, there'll be days like this

When there's no one complaining, there'll be days like this

When everything falls into place, like the flick of a switch

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry, there'll be days like this

When no one's in a hurry, there'll be days like this

When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this//

They’re in the moment, comfortable in the relationship that blooms between them. More casual and laid-back throughout the day only to get more soft and intimate in the evenings, when the inner demons’ voices grow louder.

James Bay - Chew on my heart - acoustic

The way the chorus explodes? It makes me beam widely and my heart is about to burst.

//Take your time

I'll be right here

I know no one could ever love me better

Take all night

You're the truth that

Is breaking me and keeping me together

Together

I wanna be in your touch

Sleep is so tough

You're burning up my mind

What would it feel like if you tore me apart?

Come on chew on my heart

...

I'm on fire

I'm a hot mess

I'm thinking things that I might start regretting

So hear me out

I need you now

I'm spiraling

I'm sinking down

Look for me I'm sending up a message

A message//

I think it weirdly fits those times at night when Neil checks the bruises. When their minds wander to that first evening, and they still feel bad about how it ended up, the closeness brings them back to the present and grounds them.

Picture This - Unconditional

This one just makes my heart sing.

//This magic, I don't know what it is but we have it

Even when we're sleepless and damaged

I don't doubt it

We're holding on//

That’s exactly it.

//Baby I wish we could take this feeling

And put it away somewhere safe

'Til we need it

Unconditional

I'm so afraid of losing your love//

They don’t need big words. But they feel it, all right. Whether they are aware of it or not. And they are afraid of losing each other, now that they know how easily that could happen.

//Shivers running down my back with your fingers

The smell of your perfume it lingers

And whispers

What I want you to say

Under your skin, underdressed under covers

We bring out the best in each other

Two lovers finding our way//

The kiss, the touch, the skin on skin contact - some of the most powerful reminders that, for now, they’re safe.

BANNERS - Start a riot

But it’s not always about going all the way, because sometimes you just need to be held. And this song just speaks to me of all that tenderness, all the feelings clenching the heart so much they’re unable to say a word, just want to keep each other as close as they can. Just to make sure they’re really there.

//I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm

No surrender, no retreat

I will tear down every wall

Just to keep you warm

Just to bring you home

I will burn this city down for a diamond in the dust

I will keep you safe and sound when there's no one left to trust

Will you take my hand?

We can make our stand

If your world falls apart

I'd start a riot

If night falls in your heart

I'd light the fire

In the dark, when you sound the alarm

We'll find each other's arms

For your love, all you are

I'd start a riot//

The lyrics are so beautiful, and there’s so much longing there, and the promise to protect each other, to be there for each other, to face whatever life might throw their way together.

Yeah, it makes me emotional, I absolutely love it. Speaking of emotional--

Chapter 7: Stone Sour - Wicked game - acoustic, live

When Spotify recommended this one to me, I almost skipped it. I’ve heard it a million times in different versions and I thought that there’s nothing to be found there. Oh, was I wrong.

I knew what was going to happen in the chapter - Mahir is about to confront R, surprised by what he sees. And he can clearly recognize that they’re idiots in love, even if they’re trying to lay low in the company. He knows what happened to R, why she’s so cautious and reluctant when it comes to any relationships that are more than simple hookups.

//The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you//

Because that’s how it started, right? With desire. One could argue that our duo had solid banter before that, respect and understanding, all those things, sure. But ultimately, that was all that sexual tension, sparked by the playful teasing, that pushed them into each other’s arms in the first place.

//No, I don't want to fall in love

With you, with you

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you//

And when Reader finally lets the thought in and it dawns on her that she is, in fact, in love - she goes into full panic. Not because she feels it’s unrequited, god, she’s not stupid, nor blind (too soon?). But she’s mad at herself that she allowed this to happen. She’s afraid that she’ll get hurt, and to avoid that, she has to run away. And that’s gonna hurt Neil as well, and she can’t stand that, hates herself for that, but she’s so scared that she can’t think of any other solution.

Before we get to that, however, there’s a bit more softness to be shared.

Lewis Watson - Little light

//And all this shade is, illuminating

And all those love lines, are taking shape

And all my worries, disintegrating

And I've been waiting, I've been waiting

And all my days were young and wasted

When I was waiting, oh for you

And all the plans that I've been chasing are always fading

But ever since I found you

A little light is breaking through//

Gotta admit, I had this one hidden in the playlists of other chapters, because it captures that feeling when your chest is filled with light and you’re simply happy. It ended up here, because it’s this feeling when R is melting a little inside when she looks at Neil, when she’s in his arms. And how Neil feels, too.

X Ambassadors - Renegades

Funny, I had this song for both times the team appears in the story. There’s this sense of camaraderie to it that I wanted to capture, when you’re with a bunch of people who are like family to you. You can tease them all you want, but at the same time you’d go into battle with them, knowing that you can count on them to have your six.

//Long live the pioneers

Rebels and mutineers

Go forth and have no fear

Come close and lend an ear

…

All hail the underdogs

All hail the new kids

All hail the outlaws

Spielbergs and Kubricks

It's our time to make a move

It's our time to make amends

It's our time to break the rules

Let's begin//

I wanted R to have a taste of that. To let her know that she’s appreciated for helping with the mission. To get to know them all better, and to make amends with TP, of sorts.

I didn’t want to make his motivation clear. He wouldn’t tell her that he knows how the story ends. That he can’t help that, deep down, irrationally, he made her responsible for it. Even if she’s not the one to blame. (And I don’t believe he let’s that happen, in the end, because that’s too much angst, even for me - again, fuck you, Mr Nolan, sir)

Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, Scott Reeder - From can to can’t

Christ almighty, this one is so raw! The emotional progression in here just blows my mind.

//Under the water

It's cold and it's grey

My torrid autumn

Another season decays

Open up the Hollow

And my walls come down

I tell you it's a problem

Just when no one's around

But then

I know what's wrong

God, you complicated everything

I know you're gone, gone, gone

This is where I will draw my line

I will draw my line//

To me, it’s the scene with R having a breakdown in the bathroom, and then somehow finding the solution. She has a plan, and enough strength and determination to pull through, at least for a moment.

Chapter 8: Dan Owen - Hideaway

I found this song by accident, and I almost screamed at how perfect it is for the finale (and then screamed for the second time when my dearest friend @connie-nikas casually sent me this exact song one day saying that it sounds like something I’d enjoy). The intensity just tears your heart out and makes you struggle to draw a breath, there’s something desperate to it, and I knew that it would be my go-to song for the part where R sleeps with Neil, trying one last time to drown all the pain and sorrow in his closeness.

I could just paste all the lyrics, to be honest, because that’s exactly what’s happening in the scene.

//It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head

And it's a slow cry out

When you've got so many tears you could die

And it's a long time to wait

When you take all my tears away//

Oh, she’s on the verge of tears, all right. Knowing quite well that as soon as Neil picks on them, he’s gonna stop to make sure she’s okay. That once he starts asking questions, she’s gonna fall into pieces, unable to lie to him.

//My body is colder

Time is frozen

All these feelings have poisoned my soul

And in silence no I can't stand it

Please break these chains and hell I can

Hideaway//

She’s scared that if she’s left alone with her thoughts, they will break her and make her stay. What she fears most (besides that she’s gonna end up betrayed, alone and heartbroken) is how Neil’s gonna react to her actions. The last thing she wants is to hurt him. She just hopes that maybe if she leaves now, it’s not gonna be as painful as it would be if she stayed a bit longer. That maybe he’s not fallen in too deep.

//You're my one way out

And my tears won't save me now

Save me now

I can't stand it

All this loneliness I feel

I can't do this alone

I need someone to remind my feelings

That I've fallen down by the door

It's a long way down and my tears won't save me now

It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head//

Macy Gray - I try

One of the first songs that came to my mind when I was composing the playlist for the series. It may be a tad too upbeat for my liking, hah, but parts of the lyrics are spot on, and it had to be there.

//I try to say goodbye and I choke (Yeah)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke (Yeah!)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near//

It makes me think of the time when they’re in the car. She’s going over the plan, kinda skipping the moment she’d have to say goodbye to Neil. That’s the unbearable part. And when he asks an innocent question and touches her, she crumbles and jokes. Partly to distract him from prodding further, but mostly to distract herself. I didn’t plan on them getting all worked up there, it...happened, but I figured it made for a decent ground for what was about to go down in the hotel room.

Belle Mt. - Hollow - acoustic

//She told me she was hollow

That's far from what I see//

That feeling you get when everything is too much and it leaves you hollow because you can’t take it anymore. A safety mechanism of sorts. It kicks in with Reader, and of course, Neil can sense that something is off. He hopes it’s just her being tired, he knows how she feels after spending too much time with people.

//I told her she was special

She almost let me in

But she couldn't bear the thought of digging up the heart that she's been burying//

We already know it. The thing is - Neil doesn’t. They haven’t really talked about it. Well, they did after the first night, but with all the things that happened later… and with how much affection she shows him? He doesn’t have a reason to suspect something this big.

//Lonely is her favourite

If only I could change it

If I could only save her

But sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken

Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open

Sometimes she's stone-cold, times she's on fire

Mostly she's everything I desire

Lonely is her favourite place to be//

Galleaux - Tether me

I had it on repeat when I was writing that part when R collapses in Neil’s arms when they’re in bed. Did I mention that I didn’t want Reader to be this emotional in the first part of the chapter? I thought she’d be more distant. Numb, even, here and there slipping up but holding it together until the very end. And then she does that. But it was Neil’s reaction that left me all 🥺. Not only me, apparently, because she let out so much there. I think my heart broke a little when she gave me that make love to me/love me/ never let me go part.

//In this space, do I belong?

It's dark out here in my own thoughts

Pull me back, out of my body

I'm tied to my limbs

They're spinning me out of control

Tether me//

And the way the music builds up only to blow up at 3:11, heavens, and those vocals! It just takes my breath away, fits so well there.

Nothing But Thieves - Lover, please stay

There can’t be a series playlist without Nothing But Thieves! And it’s another song Chels sent me. The way it broke me-- bloody hell. It’s that gentle guitar, it’s the raw emotions in the vocals, and those lyrics! It rips my heart out, in the best way possible.

It’s for that part where Neil falls asleep and R breaks down, fully realizing what she is about to do.

//Lover, I know you're weary

Eyes are tired from the night

Lover, come to the kitchen floor

Tiles are cold, so am I//

You bet your ass she’s having flashbacks to those moments on the cold tiles, but in her bathroom.

//Lover, I feel your sorrow pouring out of your skin

And I don't wanna be alone

If I am tonight, I'll always be//

Lonely might be her favourite place to be, but losing Neil by her own decision hurts more than she thought possible.

//So take from me what you want, what you need

Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need

But lover, please stay with me, oh//

You know what’s the worst, though? As if that scene was not heartbreaking enough, my brain decided to remind me how much it parallels part 7 from Stuck in reverse. Yep. ✨Pain.✨

Foo Fighters - Home

When she walks to her apartment. Crying. Broken. Missing him already.

//Wish I were with you

But I couldn't stay

Every direction

Leads me away

Pray for tomorrow

But for today

All I want is to be home//

About to leave for good.

This is the bit that prompted the final conversation. What even is home to her? Living the way she does, it never was something important. I struggled with that idea, I thought it’s too sweet. But Neil, the stubborn ass that he is, didn’t want to give me anything else, so it stayed - and in the end, I’m happy that it did.

BANKS - Someone new

Okay, this one is perfect with its sadness and longing, but it’s a hit and miss when it comes to lyrics. Take a look -

//I can love you desperately

Though your love ain't guaranteed

Oh, I wish you knew the deal

Gotta learn from far away

And I simply needed space

Space for me to be

And I think you need it too

Though I know you call me selfish for assuming

I did this for you too//

This, this, all of this! You see it, right?

//Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you

Don't know what else to do//

Well, one could argue that they could just talk it through without all the drama, but hey, where’s the fun in that? And running away really seems like the best option to R.

//And please don't fall in love with someone new

I promise one day I'll come back for you//

And here it’s off because I don’t think she plans on going back. So she wouldn’t want him to not fall in love with someone else, because why would she? He deserves to be happy.

//Oh, you say you hate me now and you burn me with your words

Calling me a fool

Saying that I've fucked up everything

And you'll never forgive me//

See, I have a few options for what to do when Neil finds her at the riverside. I knew one thing though - it would never be a full-blown argument and accusations. At first (and when I say first I mean before I actually started writing chapter 1, because I already had the last scene plotted out by then), I thought Neil would be calm, with a kind of “I know you love me too, silly, so what on earth are you doing?” vibe to him, to R’s annoyance. Then, the story became heavier, and I knew Neil would be worried. Lost. Confused. But never to the point of losing his temper, not after that one time in the bathroom. And that’s what happens in that scene. He doesn’t know what to do as he tries to make some sense out of it all.

Agnes Obel - Riverside

//Oh my God I see how everything is torn in the river deep

And I don't know why I go the way

Down by the riverside//

As I mentioned, I knew what I wanted for the final confrontation from the start. That’s why I tried to make that river quite important for both of them, weaving it into the story here and there. That’s why they instinctively go there.

Billy Raffoul - Dark four door

There’s this sad acceptance in this song that just breaks my heart. It makes me think about the moment when Neil wakes up and sees that she’s gone. How he doesn’t know what’s going on, and how his mind slowly connects all the things that felt strange, but he’s unwilling to accept it until he checks Reader’s place. And much it costs him to keep it together when he sees that the bag is gone.

//You got up, you felt you should

I keep trying to myself I would've done the same had I could

I never thought that you would//

Chris Cornell - Before we disappear

Whenever I hear this song, I think of Neil standing there with Reader, hurt, trying to understand what went wrong.

//So how hard can it be to share your life with me?

How hard can it be to rise with me each morning?//

Dermot Kennedy - A closeness

The last one by Dermot. If that isn’t their conversation--

//Keeping her bright eyes focused on the coastline, waiting for you

Isn't she all of us pining for that last kiss

A permanent truth, a means to get through//

Why does she stay up for so long in their spot? Does she subconsciously count on him to show up? Unable to let go, once and for all?

//Deep into the night, eyes closing

Heart swollen with my loving for you

A solid embrace, kind face

And then the hurt starts leaving the room, followed by goons

Sometimes it's open wide and lights the road at night

You've got a heart like the moon

Gather courage, if you're doing something, do it

'Cause she got to go soon//

And when Neil sees her, he wants nothing more than to hug her, he’s so relieved. But then she snaps at him, and he can’t believe that she’d actually think that he planted a bug on her to track her. It’s another wound he didn’t expect, but he waits for her to explain her actions before he lets out how much it all affected him.

Ryan McMullan - Outcry

I was close to making this one a title song for the chapter because as Hideaway sounds like it was written for the time they make love, this one is for the time Neil asks why she left.

//You came a long way to see me

So don't you run off, baby stop pretending that you're fine

What's the point that you're making

Tell me what it is that's going 'round inside your mind

If in doubt, don't fake it

I have known you long enough to know that you can't lie

If you're in love don't be ashamed of it

'Cause even angels fall for demons//

God, of course he saw that she wasn’t alright that night, but she seemed so sure about what she needed that moment that he decided not to push her - they had all the time in the world, he could ask her about it in the morning, right?

And Neil knows when she’s hiding behind jokes. That’s why he doesn’t want to play her game when she deflects what he says about the way she was in bed. He wants her to be honest. Especially since he knows what he saw in her eyes, in her actions, when they were together, and he’s sure it all must have meant something to her.

//I've heard stories, but they're jaded

So give me something more

I only know what I've been told

But I can tell that you're frustrated

And I won't ever pry, I'll only be a hand to hold

If you tell me you're hurting

I'm hurting too, yeah

Don't tell me you're fine - unless you're fine

I'll wait for the outcry

Whenever there is something weighing on your mind//

And Neil knows he can’t pressure her, that’s why he just stands with her and waits. Sweeping his mind over and over again for anything that could have prompted this whole mess.

//If you feel like leaving

Then maybe it's for the best

Or if you feel like you've given in

Oh, give yourself a chance

If you feel like crying

Oh please don't hold it in

If you feel like reaching out oh

Let me in//

His heart is aching when he hears her reason why she feels like she has to leave. That’s when he touches her. To pull her back from her head to something real. To remind her that nothing has changed. That he’s there, and not going to let her go that easily. That he loves her, because he needs her to hear it, so she knows for sure. And when she tears up, there’s only one desperate plea in his mind.

Gavin James - Hard to do

One heavy hitter after another, and this is another killer. The longing in Gavin’s voice clenches your chest and you just want to hide in somebody’s arms.

//Oh, I've been thinking that I don't wanna leave

This house isn't home to me

I'm tired of losing everyone I see

Now that you're here, it's a hard thing to do

Trying to hold on//

Does she really want to leave? She feels she has to, but god, if only she knew for sure her heart is safe, she would stay with him forever. The problem with life is - you can never be so sure. And when Neil shows up… it takes everything, even unreasonable anger, to keep her together.

//Maybe I don't believe that I don't wanna run

But two hearts are better than one

You say you'll stick around but I'll be gone

Oh, I'll be gone

It's a hard thing to do, trying to hold on//

Reader knows that it’s gonna be nearly impossible to walk away now. And she’s afraid.

//Oh, but I need you

Far more than I ever want you

It's such an unnatural thing we do

When falling in love's just so hard to do

Hard to do//

She can’t bring herself to look at him after she tells him what’s going on with her. But when Neil touches her and takes her hand, she can’t keep it inside anymore. Then he tells her that he loves her, and everything floods her at once. Fear. Guilt. Love. All that combined with his simple plea is enough to finally make her give in.

Damien Rice - I don’t want to change you

I had it on repeat since the moment Neil touched her. The softness of what happens there, melting the barriers once and for all.

//Wherever you are

You know that I adore you

No matter how far

Well, I can go before you

And if ever you need someone

Well, not that you need helping

But if ever you want someone

Know that I am willing//

He’s there for her. Always has been, always will be.

//Oh, and I don't want to change you

I don't want to change you

I don't want to change your mind//

Here. I think that’s what is really important about them and their relationship.

//I've never been with anyone

In the way I've been with you

But if love is not for fun

Then it's doomed

'Cause water races

Water races down the waterfalls//

Lucy Spraggan - Run

Ha, this kinda feels like an end-credits song, don’t you think?

//I just to run to the end of the world

Just to see if it's possible

I don't care what I've been told

I want to run to the end of the world

I'm going to run,run,run

Bye bye problems

Run 'til the road hits the sea

You better run,run,run

If you want to be free//

Granted, she didn’t run off without Neil, but found a way to run with him instead. There’s that heart-bursting light and freedom in this song, I think it captures that happiness they found, working it all out in the end.

//I wanna feel invincible

One more mile out of principle

I want to see the whole damn world

One cross road can change it all//

Travelling the world. Doing what they like most. Together.

------

Quite a journey that was.

Thank you all for taking it with me.

[thatsgay-writes]

Suki x Reader x Ty Lee Part 2

Summary: You makes some new friends.

Warning: Light cursing?

10 years had passed since the moment you left the Gaang. By the second year, Ba Sing Se was taken over and the Avatar was considered dead. You felt remorse after hearing the news, thinking that maybe if you had been there things would be different. You still liked to keep tabs on the group but after Aang "died" they all seemed to disappear. By the third year, you heard that Zuko had switched sides and was now considered a traitor all through the fire nation. His switching of sides led you to going back to keeping tabs on the group. Aang, the avatar, was alive and spending his time hiding in plain sight. About halfway through the third year, Boiling Rock was broken into by Sokka in an attempt to save Suki. You had heard about how the Fire Nation Princess's best friends turned on her and were now being held in Boiling Rock. The thought of leaving them there to rot after having helped save Sokka, Suki, and Zuko didn't sit right with you. So by the fourth year of your separation, you had broken them out with the intent to split from them right afterwards. However, that never happened. Meeting and getting to know Ty Lee had been like a breath of fresh air. For the past four years, you had pushed your emotions back never wanting to feel heartbreak again. But she burst threw all your walls and held a special place in your heart. You never told her though, you knew that once you had helped Mai find Zuko that Ty Lee would follow her and you weren't ready to see the Gaang yet.

However, she surprised you. You sat on top of hill watching the people below. Toph gave a hardy punch in the shoulder to Zuko. Katara and Aang were cuddled together, finally having stopped dancing around their feelings. Aang had matured greatly in the past four years, he was almost a fully realized avatar but still had some problems with his avatar state. "This is it." You stated as you watched Sokka and Suki walk out a tent together, holding hands and smiling. However, for the first time, the scene didn't hurt you as much as it use to. You turned to Mai and Ty Lee, who seemed to be having a silent conversation with their eyes between themselves. You cough awkwardly before walking up to them and putting a hand on each of their shoulders. "This is where we part ways." You smile at them kindly, "I have enjoyed your company these past few months, if you follow that path down the hill you will reach them." You say pointing to a small worn out trial. You weren't lying though, they had made nice company. You let go of their shoulder and turn to walk away when you feel someone grab your hand. You tense, remembering the last time someone had done that. You turn to look at Ty Lee with a questioning stare.

"Yes?" She blushed when she made eye contact with you. "I was just thinking that maybe you could say hi to them, or come with us and we could all stay with them." She started rambling. You shook your head before slowly pulling your hand out of her grasp, "I'm sorry Ty Lee, I'm still not fully over... that." Mai, surprisingly, gave you a look of sympathy, "I told you they would say no Ty Lee." Ty Lee sighed before looking away from Mai, "Then I'll just stay with you." she said matter of factly. "What?" you say confused. By this point Mai had knew this was going to happen and had already started walking away. "Look I know what happened with Suki was... hard. But I promise I won't do that to you, ever. I know saving Mai and I was because we had helped your friends out. But over these past couple months you have made me feel things I haven't felt before, not even from all those boys that threw themselves at me. I know it may take sometime for you to see me how I see you, but I'm willing to wait." Your eyes widened at the confession. You were silent for a few seconds causing Ty Lee to panic. "Please don't hate me! I can---" You cut her off by showing your lips against hers. It took Ty Lee a few seconds to react before throwing her arms around your neck and pulling you in closer. When air became necessary, you pulled back with a smile on your face. "You don't have to wait that long. Come on lets go." You say before grabbing her hand and walking away.

"Mai!?" Zuko yelled, before getting up and running over to her. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. "How did you get here? How did you find us?" he asked. Pulling back from the hug slightly to look at the group that was now surrounding them in confusion on how she got out of Boiling Rock. When she made eye contact with Sokka and Suki, her eyes hardened, "One of your... friends... helped me." Seeing the hard stare sent at Sokka and Suki, who had flinched at the word friend, caused everyone to realize who Mai was talking about. "What y/n!? Where are they I haven't seen them in such a long time!" Aang practically yelled in a child like excitement. Mai finally pulled her eyes away from two of her top three, Azula being first of course, least favorite people and turned to look at Aang, eyes softening. "They left once they dropped me off." Everyone, except Zuko, seemed to deflate slightly at her response. "Are... are they okay?" Suki asked timidly, remembering all the hurt she had caused you years prior. Mai hardened her stare once more, "They should be now, they have Ty Lee to take good care of them." She purposefully mentioned Ty Lee to show that you were moving on and weren't stuck on a bitch (Mai's word, not mine) like her. Suki seemed to deflate a little more but just nodded her head before walking away.

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