#i'm also very bummed about that because that was the job i wanted more but it's f i n e

[wickedhawtwexler]

i'm almost done with this take home assignment for one of the jobs i'm interviewing for fuck yeahhhh

[waldau]

sunshine — lee seokmin | 764 words | fluff

bro is literal sunshine, i had to. i don't know how this came to me but i'm so glad it did. and can we ignore the fact that you could see it only across america?

gender neutral reader. warnings: none.

dokyeom knows he’s being a bit obnoxious.

okay, maybe not just a bit. very obnoxious.

but is it his fault that he’s upset about missing the solar eclipse that he’d wanted to see with you?

the pictures you’ve sent him aren’t enough. he kept staring at all eleven of them, showing him every angle you managed to get. even nasa had been roped into your shenanigans to try to make him feel a little less sad about missing out, not to mention the livestream you’d held for two seconds, cutting it off even before he got a chance to say hi.

it goes without saying that he can’t help but feel a bit guilty.

he knows it’s a bit too much when the smile he gives you isn’t as cheerful as yours. he knows its over the top when he resists your attempts to cuddle with him. in the end, your puppy eyes break him enough to let you hold him.

“it’s just so unfair,” he huffs, pressing his face into your shoulder. he ignores the little giggle you give out, running your fingers through his hair. this is a matter of utmost importance and he should be allowed to sulk, dammit.

“i’m not saying it’s not, kyeom.”

“but you’re laughing at me! i’m sad i missed seeing the eclipse with you and you’re laughing at me.”

“hey, i’m not laughing. didn’t i try calling you on video so you wouldn’t miss out? and didn’t i send pictures later?”

“that’s…not the point.”

“then what is?”

dokyeom sighs. “i wanted to see it with you. it wasn’t about the eclipse. we always watch the sun rise and set whenever we’re together. of course i wanted to watch this one with you, too.”

“oh,” is all you say.

dokyeom just pulls away from you and shifts so that his head rests in your lap.

“hey,” you say, thumb tracing his cheekbone. soft. “are you really that upset because you didn’t get to watch an eclipse?”

“it wasn’t just an eclipse, though,” he says, looking up at you. you look so good, even upside down. “it was the eclipse. and i missed it. and you.”

“but you were touring, baby.”

dokyeom knows you’re right, but he’s not in the mood to listen to logic right now. so he behaves like the very mature adult he is and hides his face in your stomach, unwilling to look up at you. he doesn’t move even when he can feel your silent laughs shake your body. he feels you stretch to your side for something and very reluctantly looks up at you when you tap his shoulder.

“do me a favour?”

“anything,” he says immediately.

“take a photo with me?”

there’s already maybe a couple thousand photos of the two of you together in each of your phones, and dokyeom figures it wouldn’t hurt to add a few more. it never does.

but he’s also confused by the sudden change in topic. “what…”

“trust me.”

that he does. he shuts up and arranges himself so he’s lying a bit more comfortably on you, his super long arms helping him take the best picture he can for you. oh, well. pictures. multiple.

he’s become a bit tired of posing for selfies by himself, so it feels good to have your face in the frame again. he keeps capturing you more than himself till you ask him to stop, selecting what he deems are your favourites before you send them to him.

“see this?” you ask, showing him one of the photos. you’re accidentally out of the frame, and he’s captured himself laughing the way he does when he’s with you, eyes squeezed shut with the widest grin on his lips. do you know how happy you make him?

“…yeah?”

“that’s my sun you’re seeing. you’re lucky you can see yourself in a mirror every single day, you know?”

dokyeom swears his brain blanks. shirt circuits to the worst degree possible. “did you just—”

“—steal your job of using pick-up lines? maybe?”

suddenly, it doesn’t really matter that much anymore. sure, he’s a bit bummed he didn’t get to see it in person, and he didn’t get to see it with you, but he has you. forever. like the sun. burning bright, looking after him.

“also,” you say, looking very proud of yourself, “the next one’s in 2044. let’s make sure we don’t miss that one, okay?”

that’s…twenty years in the future.

when dokyeom clings to you a little more while you sleep that night, he thinks you already know the reason why.

taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched @minnieminshi @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae @viewvuu

[isleofair]

Thank you so much for the tag, @applescabs!!! 🥰💚

Are you named after anyone? After, of all things, a 15th century noblewoman (whom I always thought was a saint, but actually wasn't, I just found out!) My mom saw an amazing statue of her on a trip and loved it, and her name, so much that she named me after her.

When was the last time you cried? I teared up a little yesterday when I got my friend's wedding invitation in the mail. The last time I properly cried was... huh. I think a couple of weeks ago, watching TV. That's a fair amount of time for me to go without crying, so go me!

Do you have kids? No, and I don't want any.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? A bit less than I used to, and not a lot in general. Only when I think it will be funny, or when I need to make an underhanded comment about something that ticked me off but I can't do much about.

What sports do you play? None. I am a very inactive person, sadly. I hope I can at least start going on more walks as the season keeps warming up.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? If they seem friendly or not.

What’s your eye colour? A very, very dark brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings all the way. I can't handle scary stuff very well at all. 🫣

Any special talents? I'm fairly good at languages (I learned them easily in school and I usually have a decent shot at figuring out what a word might mean if it's in a language that has at least some relation to the ones I know/have studied). Sadly, the only one I'm still fluent in (besides Italian, of course) is English, because it's the only one I use regularly.

Where were you born? Italy, smack dab in the middle of the top part of the boot, lol

What are your hobbies? Writing fic, reading fic, scrolling Tumblr, playing video games (mostly just Pokémon), playing D&D, and very occasionally drawing or weaving bracelets or assembling jigsaw puzzles.

Do you have any pets? My two cats, Sasha and Misha 🥹🥹 They're tabby-and-white twins, they're almost 5 years old, and they're the ones I come home to. 💚💚

How tall are you? 164cm, although sometimes when I'm in a hurry I just say 1.65m 😅

Favourite subject in school? All the sciences and Math, though I also liked English when I started having it as a subject.

Dream job? Writing a single novel, or a trilogy or something like that, that becomes inexplicably popular, gets a movie deal, and gives me enough residuals to potentially live comfortably while bumming around on my couch writing fanfic for the rest of my life.

I am tagging (but only if they want to answer, zero pressure, as usual!) @nicoroni, @imaginatorofthings, @zimithrus1, @thekuraning, @saltedpin, @horikoshi-secret-ao3-account, @damedanedameyodamenanoyo, and anyone else who sees this and wants to play! 💖💖💖

[yelenabelovasbxtch]

Crush On An Archer PT.1

a/n: Hey! Omg long time no see! I kinda maybe lost interest in writing for a bit there but tbh I think I'm back. No promises because I don't want to promise and then break your hearts but also I realllyyyy enjoyed writing this and I hope you all enjoy reading it! Will def be making a part two in coming days so stay tuned. LMK if you want to be added to the taglist, I am going to put some tags of past taglists below just in case they are interested in reading :) ALSO! Special shout out to @scmg11 because their writing is honestly what made me wanna get back into it. So,,I hope you enjoy!

Kate X Fem!Reader

Concept: Reader has a crush on Kate (school/Uni setting) and she doesn't know how to tell her.

Warning: Cussing, mentions of smut, IM TRYING TO WRITE SLOW BURN BUT BEAR WITH ME ITS NEW!

Word Count: 2.7k

You’re a month into your summer vacation and things couldn’t be more…boring. You love and appreciate your parents dearly for putting out the money so that you could attend a prestigious school in New York with a kick ass archery team but does it ever suck to be this far from all your friends for four months. To make the situation work, your dad had to transfer jobs to another state that pulls in a little more money annually with slightly more affordable housing but that means you aren’t even near the people you grew up around. Rural Mississippi is a fairly big step from living in Boston. Boston at least had people, out here it’s like you’re lucky if you get to meet a neighbour because the land has us all so far apart. In all honesty, although it’s boring, you really have one specific reason for being so bummed out. Towards the end of your last semester, you got started getting closer with one of the girls a year younger on your team, Kate. Typically the older girls competed and practised together and the younger girls did the same. Although you two were only a year apart it’s just how things worked out, so you didn’t cross paths very often. However, one day you were walking home from class, stopped to get coffee and basically bumped into her. The meeting was really brief but it was enough to make you catch feelings almost instantly. 

Your interest in her grew as you followed her on Instagram and she followed back. Obviously you took a peak at her page and scrolled to the bottom laughing at the really cringey posts from 2015 she had still up. All you wanted to do was talk to her again but you didn’t know how, although she was a year younger than you she intimidated you so much. Her deep blue eyes were honestly enough to make you stutter whenever you had the chance to talk to her. A month had gone by already and you could not wait to get back to school so you could see her again. Luckily, coach has yearly “team-building” days before the season starts and they’re about half way through the summer so hopefully you can talk to her before then and maybe convince her to hang out when you come back to school. 

Over the next week or so you liked a few story posts that she’d upload every now and again but the day finally came where you felt like you could swipe up and respond to it…y’know…maybe spark a little conversation. 

“Damn Bishop, is this a new bow?” In response to a story post of her showing off some of her off season training. 

“Haha yeah it is, flips out and everything…it's really freakin’ cool.” She replied almost instantly and that made a giant warm smile come across your face. 

Shit– what do you say back? Your main goal was honestly to keep the convo going so you could subtly mention down the line hanging out with her. 

“Yeah that’s sick, wow I’d kill to try something like that out.”

“Well next time I see you, please by all means give it a shot” She replies back.

“Might just have to take you up on that. How’s your summer going anyways?”

“It’s alright, kind of boring though. All my friends from school move back home and I am working for my mom’s company over the summer so it all is just kind of dull. I miss going out and having fun. Wbu?”

“Yeah, I hear that. I am SO bored here. I would kill to fast forward to the fall, I miss being at school honestly. There’s only so much I can do by myself here during the summer.”

“Ugh right! I want it to be school again too but don’t get me wrong, I love the summer, the weather is great here recently and the nightlife is amazing too. I just have nobody to go with, you know.”

“Yeah I get it. Trust me, if I could be there to go out with you I would, there is definitely no nightlife here haha.”

Shit. That wasn’t too forward was it? She is taking a while to respond to you. She hasn’t even opened the message yet. 

*4 minutes later*

“Well, you’re going to be around for that team-building thing coach has us doing in a couple of weeks right?”

“Yeah, I should be.”

“Well, we can go out then if you want? Me and a few friends had plans but they’re all on the team and I’m sure they’d love to have you there too.”

“Yeah, that sounds great I’d love to!”

The conversation pretty much ended there and your contact with her was fairly limited, just a small comment here or there until you finally got to fly back to school for summer training. You settle back into the apartment you left a couple months ago, everything is still a mess where you left it but the kitchen and living room are even filthier since you are not around to clean up much after your roommates. You decided to wait until your team practice to talk to Kate about hanging out again. You didn’t want to come on too strong but also a small part of you feels like she forgot what she said months ago and you won’t end up seeing her, not outside of team stuff at least. 

You grabbed your gear and headed to the field where practice was being held. You saw some of your friends from last year and decided to catch up with them before coach pulled you all in to start practice. You were trying your best not to make it obvious but your eyes were tracking all around you looking for Kate but she was nowhere to be seen. 

*Whistle* “Okay team! Let’s bring it in. First, I just want to say thank you to everyone for making the effort to come back to campus for this, meeting I–”

“SORRY SORRY SORRY!” You hear the coach interrupted as footsteps are fast approaching the circle of archers. 

“Hi Kate.” Says coach.

“I am SO sorry. My driver was running late and then there was traffic because of a giant accident, I think there was some battle in the streets again, I don’t know, either way, my bad coach, won’t happen again…I promise.” She says with the most adorable grin that is absolutely saying she will be late again. 

“It’s alright Kate, it happens, I was just telling the team how thankful I am that everyone could make the trip back to campus for this.” Coach went on to talk about the drills you were doing for the day and man was it hard to not be in awe watching her. You tried your best not to stare all day because the last thing you wanted to do was make it obvious but fuck it felt impossible. The day came to an end and you packed up your gear, Kate was talking with the other seniors on the team as they were gathering their things and started to head out. You could feel your window closing to talk to her but interrupting her conversation with her friends and “inviting” yourself out with them just felt too weird and uncomfortable. If it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t meant to be but you would kill to be able to just spend an hour with her. 

You watched as she started to walk away towards the parking lot with her friends when all of a sudden she motioned for them to hold on a minute and she turned around and jogged over to you. 

“Hey y/n! Sorry we didn’t get to catch up much during practice, I saw your shooting though it’s looking good.” 

Yeah…your face is bright red. Control your shit. 

“Anyways, me and a couple friends are going out later tonight to a party that one of their friends is hosting. It’s like a Hawaiian beach summer nights themed type of party so if you have something like that to wear, that would be great.”

“Yeah, I might have something, I’ll take a look when I get home.” 

“Cool! I’ll text you the address once I get it off my friend and I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah, sounds good!” 

“Here, why don’t you put your number into my phone, I don’t like using DM’s that much.”

You take Kate’s phone out of her hand and fill out a contact for yourself, praying that she can’t hear your heart beating out of your chest. 

“Cool, thanks, I’ll send you a text in a bit.” She says with a smile and then runs off to re-join her friends. 

It seems silly sitting by your phone and literally watching the minutes tick by waiting for her to text you but that’s all  you could do. The anticipation felt like it was killing you. 

Your phone finally buzzed with a mystery number attached, “Hey y/n! It’s Kate. So…slight change of plans.”

Fuck. Is she bailing? Your eyes were glued on the three dots as she typed and you watched as they disappeared and reappeared. 

“Turns out the party is actually around the corner from my place so if you wanted to just come here first, we could pre-game and shit and then walk over together? My friends said they were going out to get their hair done so they’ll be running late.”

“Hey Kate, yeah no problem that works for me just send me your address and lmk what time you want me there.”

Kate dropped a pin of her location to you with the text attached telling you to come over at 7pm. 

7pm rolled around and you were already there outside but you kind of felt like you should wait another minute or two so you weren’t RIGHT on time. Or is it weird to be a minute late? But wouldn’t being on time be weirder? Whatever, you decided to just wait a minute and then knock on her door. 

Knocking on her door was the most nerve wracking thing you ever did, you were genuinely shitting bricks. 

“HEY! Come in come in!” Kate eagerly yells at you as she swings the door open. She’s wearing shorts with a bright purple bikini top and a button down Hawaiian shirt over top that doesn’t have a single button done up. Are you starring? Yes. Probably? Absolutely you are. 

“Make yourself at home, feel free to grab a drink from the fridge, my roommates are out of town and left all their alcohol so help yourself.” She said with a laugh. 

You heard that right? Her roommates are out of town. Just the two of you…you never know. 

You grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a seat on the couch next to her and yeah…the drink started going down faster than usual because of all the nerves in your stomach. The two of you made small talk for awhile but the conversation started flowing a little more naturally about 2 drinks in. Were you still kind of awkward as hell? Yeah…a little. But at least you warmed up to her a bit and weren’t acting so weird. About an hour later, her friends showed up and grabbed you guys to head over to the party. Honestly, things were going so well with just the two of you that you didn’t even want to go to this party but if it meant you got to spend more time with her then there you were. You got to the party and you honestly knew practically nobody. You weren’t exactly a social butterfly but Kate clearly was. She was talking to EVERYBODY. The boys at the party especially loved her. There was lots of laughing and flirting going on, you could feel the jealousy building but acting out was definitely not an option. You ended up socialising with a few of the other people at the party but for most of the night you stuck by Kate’s side, the two of you got pretty drunk together, pouring shots for one another and dancing in the pit of people to extremely loud music. There was a point where it felt like it was just you and her and nobody else was there while the music was blasting into your ears and the two of you were jumping together to the beat and singing out the lyrics to whatever song was on at the time. Kate got really close to you until some guy would come and pull her away in an attempt to make a move on her. Although, it never actually happened. Kate always ended up finding her way back to you. At one point she grabbed your hand and pulled you into the middle of the crowd as the two of you sang (screamed) the lyrics to “love story” into each other's faces. The party, as all do, started to simmer down. You guys actually ended up being some of the last people at the party, you stuck around to the point where the music was gone and most people were just sitting around chatting halfway sober. 

“Hey, I think I’m going to go home, I am super tired right now.” Kate says to you. 

“Okay, I’ll walk with you, I left my bag at your place anyways so I have to grab it.” 

“Right, sounds good.” 

Although the two of you had been singing and dancing for hours, she looked just as perfect as when you left and you were trying your hardest not to stare at her while the two of you were walking side-by-side. 

The walk back to her place was pretty quick, when the two of you got inside you went to grab your bag and get your things together. You were desperately trying to figure out what to say to her while you were organising your stuff. You didn’t want to come on too strong but you also want to make sure that she knows you had a good time…I guess just tell her exactly that?

“I had a really good time tonight, thanks again for inviting me.” You say as you’re leaning against the wall in her hallway. 

“Of course, anytime. And I did too. We should really hang out more when we come back to school.” She replies. 

Kate walks towards you and stops about a foot away leaning up against the doorframe to her bedroom. The hallway is super narrow and all you can think about is pinning her against the wall while you kiss down her neck and pull her tight by her waist. 

“Yeah I think so too. I guess I should probably head out.” You say as she looks at you with the softest eyes that you swore said “please stay”. You lingered for a second longer as the two of you were looking at each other, tired, kind of tipsy and on the verge of ripping each other's clothing off. All you wanted was for her to actually ask you to stay a little longer but before she had the chance you were already walking towards the door. 

“Have a good night y/n.” She says. “Text me when you get home safe.”

“I will. Sleep well Kate.” You reply as you turn to look at her with a smile and step out the front door. 

That goodbye felt different. It felt like there were still feelings in the air and lots that wanted to be said that wasn't. It felt like the perfect opportunity with nobody around after an amazing night together has passed but you regret none of it. Although you weren’t able to get a confirmation on whether or not Kate even likes women like you do, you knew there was definitely a type of tension between the two of you that she definitely noticed.

-- END OF PT 1 --

Taglist: @yelenaslyubov @youreatotalposer @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @amcg0605-blog @kassies-take @yelenaswife1996 @wandanatchick @lilroachsworld @inluvwithfictionalwomen @x666hours @natashaswife4125 @onetruwhore @karmasgxrl @hopelesslyfallenninlove @setsuna1415 @swiftdazer @imobsessedwithmilfss @madamevirgo @louisprettybab @splatalia-jumpanova @jediluka @t00manyfand0ms

[andhumanslovedstories]

sorry if you’ve answered this before, but what made you go into nursing?

In 2016 Donald Trump got elected, which was not what I was expecting to happen and a bit of a disappointment, to put it very very lightly. I was 25 and basically been bumming around my parents' house working as a barista when me and Cyrus weren't traveling and living in a van. We had plans for the future, but they were more "where do we wanna live" rather than "what do you wanna do?" Once he got elected, it didn't feel right sticking to the same plan. I felt I had to do something different with my life, something that mattered and helped people and offset the harm that would come and that had already come.

So I thought about the stuff that I valued most (having a job that helps people, having a concrete positive effect and being able to see it, maintaining access to care, reproductive health, advocating for people who aren't in a position to effectively advocate for themselves, intersectional feminism), and I thought about the stuff that has always interested me intellectually (public health, narratives of caregiving and illness, the history of the AIDS epidemic, people I don't know anything about, how people behave in extraordinary moments, my mom and aunt's nursing stories), and I thought about a bunch of practical concerns (didn't want to take work home with me, good paycheck, good job security, a lot of different uses from one degree, I'd be able to get my nursing degree in an accelerated second degree program for very cheap if I arranged things right*, worst case scenario it would give me something to write about).

It also matters a lot that my mom is a nurse and so fucking passionate about nursing, and that I admire my mom tremendously. Meanwhile my aunt, who I also admire, was an ESL teacher in an underfunded district, and I saw how passionate she was as well, and I saw how much work she took home every night and weekend and how much of her personal money she poured into her work. Seeing the life of teachers up close eliminated teaching as a career course. So nursing made the most sense. I was in community college taking my pre-reqs by the time Trump was sworn into office.

I did home health nursing because that's what I could get hired for as a new grad, and now I do bedside hospital nursing because it pays more, it's easier to get time off, I get to talk to other people, and it gives me a lot of skills I can take to wherever I go to next. I've been a nurse now longer than I was in school to become a nurse, which was one of my most basic career goals, and I have a lovely apartment, and don't worry too much about day-to-day finances, and when I come home from work I'm usually proud of what I've done that day. And best of all, it's literally impossible for me to do my job from home. They can't make me. The patients aren't in my lovely apartment. On the whole, I'm very satisfied with how all this has been working out.

(*I'm very sorry to say the circumstances which allowed me to do this are basically unrepeatable for the layperson and rely heavily on your mother being a nursing school instructor, and your family being willing and able to support you as you completely cease making money so you can become a legal dependent again and be eligible for your parent's tuition reimbursement. I can offer no advice here, just gratitude to my parents for helping me out so much.)

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

Alastor glances at Vox out of the corner of his eye. The media demon is turned so he can glare at Carmilla sitting in the back seat.

Alastor winces as the thrumming of static from his partner gets even louder. It's not painful at all, but it does present a bit of a distraction when he's trying to drive all three of them back to the hotel.

Carmilla finally notices Vox's seething when she looks up from the weapon she's fiddling with. “What?”

“‘What’? ‘WHAT’?!” Vox explodes, “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING?” He punctuates his outburst with a shockwave of electricity and static.

Alastor winces again as it washes around him. Vox must really be angry if he's losing control of his waves like this. Lately he's been more calm and collected compared to when Alastor first met him.

The static starts to consume everything now.

Alastor sighs and pulls over to the curb so he doesn't crash the car. He also turns around in his seat to look at Carmilla.

Carmilla rolls her eyes. “I had a job to do.”

“A job that required you to demolish nine blocks of the West side of the city?!”

She shrugs. “Civilian casualties. Comes with the job. It's not like it was that bad.”

Vox fires a beam of electricity at her that she dodges gracefully. She shoots him a glare in response.

“Well I'm sorry,” Camilla retorts, “but my credibility as a contract killer was on the line!”

Vox twitches. “Your credibility? What about the credibility of Alastor's hotel?!” Vox gestures to Alastor, who's doing everything in his power to keep the smile on his face. “Your little stunt made my partner look like a fucking joke!”

The demoness scoffs, “A joke? Jokes are supposed to be funny. All I did was make you look sad and pathetic.”

Alastor stiffens.

“Like an orphan.”

His eyes turn to radio dials.

“Whose parents abandoned them.”

The static around him crackles in the air.

“Ay, now I've bummed myself out.”

Alastor takes a deep breath and exhales. He can't get angry. Carmilla’s involvement is just a trial run. He brushes a stray curl out of his face.

“Do you have any alcohol in here?” Carmilla starts rooting around in the compartments.

Vox snarls and turns to face forward again. He's reaching the end of his rope. “Can’t you at least try to take this seriously?”

“I’ll try. But try not to get your boxers in a bind, Mister Checkerboard.”

Vox snaps his head around to burn a hole into Carmilla's face again. “Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?”

“Whatever pisses you off more.”

Vox's eye starts to twitch again. He turns to face Alastor. “Al, I'm going to kill her.”

Alastor runs a hand over Vox's shoulder soothingly as his partner starts muttering profanities underneath his breath.

“That was very rude of you, Carmilla.”

“‘Uncool’?” Vox interjects. “After that disaster, there's no way anybody will want to stay at the hotel!” He jabs a finger at Carmilla. “All thanks to you and your selfish bullshit!”

Carmilla looks between them. “Does that mean I won't have a free room anymore?”

Vox shoots her an incredulous look.

Alastor shrugs off his coat with what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “Hey, Vox, it's going to be okay. Just because we ran into one problem doesn't mean it's all over. Try to relax, darling. I'm sure we'll accomplish our goal soon enough!” He places his hand over Vox's.

Vox calms down at his touch and sends him a soft smile. “Alright, if you say so.”

This is so unhinged and ridiculous /pos

[taralen]

Title: E-Mail Guy's first day lol

HEY EVERY !! ITS HIM! N0 BUDDIES FAVORITE [[E-MAIL GUY!!!]] 

Well, well, here is my first ever DELTARUNE fanart! I've loved this game since it first came out, and while on disability, I played Chapter 2 and loved it even more than Chapter 1. This guy captured my [[HeartShapeObject]] the moment he popped out of the trash. He's officially my favorite character ever made (yes, I am dead serious about this.) I REALLY like this character, so expect to see more of him from my gallery even if you don't want to!

Why did I draw him this way? Answers Below!

Spamton's back story is mysterious, and the game doesn't give us much to work with regarding his past. This drawing is based on my interpretation of him before he became the lovable trash puppet. There are a lot of fan interpretations of Spamton as an Addison, but I rarely see anyone draw him with black hair. I like his contrast with the black hair against the white skin (is he Snow White??!), but I understand why fans choose to depict him with white hair while he was still the "e-mail guy." I included a variant with the white hair for anyone who prefers that version. The white hair makes sense, but I like the idea of him having black hair as an "error" or anomaly. The gray outline is based on the sprite of both him and the Addisons. I'm a little bummed out to see most fan art does not include their cute little glow. No other NPCs have this look, so I believe it was intentional. 

My theories regarding the Addisons and Spamton are based on my experiences working in Sales and Customer Service (and yes, at some point, I was the e-mail guy lmfao.) Spamton confirmed in a Q&A that he was shorter than the others before his downfall. It's hard to tell in this picture, but he is still short, just closer to canon height, which is slightly shorter than Kris. I imagine the Addisons as being like male ballet dancers because of their attire and pointed feet. I'll probably write a speculative fanfic on this because I find how these characters work fascinating from the perspective of someone who studied advertising and sales. I also did ballet for nine years, so funny that. HAHA!

In this image, Spamton has not yet been relegated to the e-mail job just yet as they test him to see how well he performs on the floor. From my experience, if you suck at doing something upfront but your employer still likes you, they'll move you into another position. So, this is before they do that. LOL  Likewise, if you are not very good at ballet, you get sent to the back or to a spot where the audience can't see you very well. 

Anyway, I hope to do more pics of this character and his co-workers soon because I really like them, haha!

Unmarked Full resolution + processes on my Patreon if you're into that. Link: https://www.patreon.com/taralen

[nopeferatu]

okayyyy i guess ill just write abt some things that i wanna get out before i forget to??

- LOVE, love love how they made ennis the one who initiated all of the romantic affection between the two. literally insane over it. it feels so in-character, considering ennis has probably been affection starved since his mother died when he was a kid. of course he has alma, but do we really get the sense that ennis was ever very affectionate with her? could he have been, in rural, christian, wyoming, where conervative notions of courtship prevail? did he even want to be, knowing that the only person he shows real attraction towards is a man? who knows. we just know that he was craving love, and lucas did an amazing job at capturing that need.

- the "'lets ranch up together', 'no bc earl and rich'" conversation happens after ennis tells jack that he'd divorced alma...a year and a half earlier. what an interesting change! it seems like both adaptations, movie and play, mess around with that specific sequence of events. i really enjoyed what it brought to this specific show, though, because in the script it's described as a "gut-punch" to jack when ennis tells him he already left alma in response to jack telling ennis that he'd decided to leave lureen. it really hammers home the idea that jack thought it was just their wives getting in the way of their life together all that time. it was framed wayyy different than jack driving up 14 hrs after getting his hopes up thanks to a phonecall or a postcard from ennis abt the divorce, but it still hits the beat it's supposed to, where we as the audience can see that its the first time their relationship shifts—and not for the better.

- "little darlin'."I got to hear "LITTLE DARLIN'" not just once, but TWICE. still not over it.

- the show also brought more...i guess, explicit attention to the fact that ennis really only wants to do ranch work, and how much that affects his family. i know its present in all the texts, but the new conversations he and alma have regarding the various 'city jobs' she tries to rope him into and the dead-end ranch jobs that keep going belly up from underneath him are just really sad. he's someone who craves wide open spaces, and the beauty of film allowed heath to capture this hunched, clenched, uncomfortable look and feel of a man who seems too big for any room he's in. ennis is not happy in domesticity. he's a saddle bum through and through, and out with nature is where he belongs. but since theatre (esp theatre in-the-round) doesn't have the luxury of different set dressing, those conversations and arguments bw ennis and alma capture that same bit of characterization.

- i...dunno how i feel about mike's jack, if i'm honest? lucas was incredible. i think he brought just the right amount of taciturn and tender, rage and remorse to a role that needs all of that in an actor. i think mike's jack was a little...idk. too big, if you get me? like there were certain line deliveries that i felt could've been said differently, or had different emotions behind them than the ones i was picking up on. i know stage is different, so in both cases, the actors went VERY big (heath's quiet, simmering rage is a completely different beast against lucas' loud, screaming outburtsts, for example), but...idk. there was just something about mike's jack that threw me off? I told my friend that I was iffy about his performance, and without prompt she said, "I didn't like how much he laughed at everything" and I think I feel the same. For example, the "I didn't want none of either kind but fuck all has worked the way i wanted, nothing has ever come to my hand the right way" line was said really jolly, without much of a edge to it, and i think thats what's thrown me off-kilter so much. in mike's performance, i didn't feel the bitter edge to a lot of his lines that occur later on in the script that are apparent to me not only in jake gyllenhaal's performance, but in the SS text, itself.

He was technically very good and I love the silly things he'd do to get ennis to open up, but he was a little too jovial, not enough bitchy, not enough moody and sassy like jake's jack. i see a lot of jake's jack in mike's performance bc aside from a few lines about how much jack likes the rodeo, all we can really glean from either characters in the SS text is that ennis is quiet, and that jack talks a lot. im not trying to compare the two performances too much bc they are fundamentally different actors working in different mediums, but heath and jake brought a lot of dimsension into charas who could have turned out waaaay different had different actors played them and gotten in touch w different emotions within the script, so i can see how other actors could look to the film for a lot of inspo on how to go about portraying ennis and jack while trying to do their own things as well. my issue is that jack becomes very heartsick and bitter and just plain fed up with everything about his life by the time their last trip rolls around, but play!jack never let that bitterness start to show, so by the time that jack does his whole "i wish i knew how to quit you" monologue, it felt very abrupt to see him screaming and yelling and hollering at ennis like that.

i dunno, after seeing tons of ppl in the brokeback tag over the past few months saying that mike faist was their favorite jack, i was actually really expecting a lot more? but as it stands, jake gyllenhaal still reigns supreme. he captured every facet of jack twist that makes him so compelling to read and write and think about and analyze, and mike, while he was still very good, didn't do that nearly as well imho.

- the play firmly cemented to me that jack twist is just bottom coded, i guess

- some of the music hit at different scenes than i had initially thought they would?? i thought the play would end on "hale strew river" playing in the bg as *SPOILER* old!ennis holds the ghost/dream/memory version of young!jack in a mirror of the way he'd held jack by the campfire on brokeback in '63. but that was not the case. this is an instance of where my heightened expectations made the reality seem kind of disappointing in comparison. i'm also kind of sad that my other favorite song, "beneath the moon," was only featured as a diegetic recording heard on a clock radio (NOT live), and it was played during a scene between alma and ennis. Like, looking back at the lyrics it makes sense:

Why don't you take me for a stroll into the sunset

Another lonely summer's day is ending soon

Oh, let us walk another mile into the twilight

And let me be alone with you beneath the moon

But i thought that it was going to be played during a scene where another one of jack's frequent proposals of a life together gets rejected. when the soundtrack for the play was released it gave me the same vibes as "i dont want to say goodbye", one of the few original songs on the movie soundtrack, and i was POSITIVE that this was a jack-longing-for-ennis song. like, it's all about sunsets and twilight and the moon and all this outdoor imagery, and as we all know, jack and ennis are literally only together underneath the sunsets and twillight and moon! so im actually really sad it wasn't an ennis/jack moment :c

- the actor who played jack's dad played the role a lot more emotionally than i expected. movie!john is very, again, muted and quietly bitter, just like all these characters are. play!john seemed really...what i can only describe as choked up? like, he was shouting and got really riled up in his "jack used to say" monologue at ennis, and there was some disgust in there and a lot of anger, but what i actually read was more like him telling ennis "you're part of the reason why my son is gone." and then he gets up and walks away from the table, and exits the stage. it was really really heartbreaking. maybe i have a different read on the performance than what was intended, but it opens up a whole new side to john twist that i think would be interesting to explore.

- theres a few little added lines of dialogue on jack's part that are great. when they leave brokeback and are heading away in opposite directions, jack turns back around and goes "ennus-" as though he's going to make his proposal to start a life together then and there, but ennis knowingly cuts him off and says smth like "see you around, jack twist", and shakes his hand goodbye. there was another moment (the divorce admission, the rich and earl confession scene) where jack is talking about their sweet life together, and hes talking about them being in rocking chairs on their porch in front of a nice fire and ughhghf....it called to mind this line in one of my all-time fave fics, Recompense:

Couldn't set out on the porch, just set, quiet and together; there wasn't any porch, wasn't even any house, where they could be seen setting. Start hauling their canes, their bifocals, damn electric blankets, up in back of the pickup? They couldn't have that life. They couldn't have any life at all. The weight of Jack's misery, pressing all around, seemed enough to cave him in.

one i didnt like, though, was when jack and ennis are wrestling, jack gets pinned under ennis and says "sheep be damned!" before ennis kisses him in the first romantic display of affection we see bw the two. also when the sheep get mixed up, ennis has a meltdown and tells jack that aguirre will realize the counts off and put 2 & 2 together that they're fooling around, and he yells smth along the lines of their trist being "sick", and Jack says smth like, "you sure didn't seem to think it was sick this past month."

this is just a me thing honestly bc i'm kind of a SS purist in some instances, and one thing that always stuck with me is that jack and ennis never talk about the sex they're having when they're on brokeback. aside from the "im not no queer" convo, the sex wasn't even alluded to; they just "let it happen," and i think thats veryyy in-line for a character like ennis. i think jack would love to talk about it, but he doesn't wanna spook ennis away, so he keeps his mouth shut. i dont think either of them would speak, even in a roundabout way, abt their sex life when they're 19 on brokeback, and thats why the whole "redlined it all the way couldnt get here fast enough" line is so revelatory imo, bc its the first time either of them acknowledge the conscious choice theyre making to fuck. so idk. i didnt really care for the fact that they were (somewhat) openly referring to their tryst while still on brokeback

- less a note of the show and more a note of the audience, but i saw the show twice and the first night i saw it, the audience laughed at REALLY sad and serious moments that i in no way thought were laugb worthy, and i felt like maybe i was taking the work too srsly until i saw the final performance and THAT audience didnt laugh at any of those really sad moments. so i got rly irritated abt that the first night cause it wasnt even like the lines were delivered in a jokey way or anythibg....

anyways. i need to sleep. look out for some other posts cause im sure ill have more to say the longer i stew on it

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Hey Reid, got an archaeology job question. I got my undergrad degree in archaeology but did something else for my master's. I really want to go back to the field on some digs, but so many field schools take only paying students, and shovel bum doesn't pay the bills. Any ideas on how I can go to digs and get paid something more reasonable without going back for an archaeology master's? I know there's not a lot of options like that but I crave the dirt again

Hi there,

I don't know that I'm the greatest person to ask about this, since my experience with archaeology is more in academia than the job market. But I'll do my best to answer, and then I'll tag some folks for their input.

I'll be honest, if you're not interested in shovel-bumming (totally fair, I'm not either), don't to pay for a field school (very valid, they're expensive!), and don't want to go back to school (grad school is exhausting) then your options might be limited to volunteer work. I know a couple of people who have been able to get their field schools paid for as research assistant-ships, but that was done through connections made during their undergrad degrees.

For paid work, if you want to make more than a shovel bum, I think you really do need that Master's. Many archaeologists go to grad school because it's the best way to make it a career long term. Perhaps @midden-maiden and @archaeo-geek can speak to that?

However! There are ways to be involved in archaeology that's not a full time job. Check out when/where the meeting is for your state's archaeological society, and show up. You may be able to find opportunities that way. Also, reach out to your professors from undergrad and tell them what you're interested in! I'd bet they'd be thrilled to hear from a former student.

If there's a big university near you, they might have an archaeology program. Maybe see if there's a way to take a few graduate level classes without fully committing to a degree? That way you can get your foot back in the door.

Finally, you can look for volunteer opportunities at museums. This probably won't be excavation work, but lab work and artifact processing are equally as important!

@midden-maiden, @archaeologysucks, @archaeo-geek, @buckets-of-dirt, @wafflelovingbatgirl, @audkitty and @archaeo-beard you guys come to mind, but anyone else with relevant experience is always welcome to chime in.

Best of luck, -Reid

[mr-orion]

ok I must have more lore on this Icarus I keep seeing since I’m officially in love with him and want to kiss

he and I should kiss

also may I draw him bc that drawing you posted of him gossiping tickles my brain so much-

"I guess if the inspiration strikes... me being your muse must happen."

Oh boy. He's a bit of a firecracker and not very PG. He's in fact, kind of mean. As for the kissing, you and Ray both, though I think Icarus will shake you down for all your cash before you start getting any affection. As for drawing, yeah! I'm always grateful for any drawings and honestly treasure each one I get!

I don't see the harm in saying it as it is. He's a prostitute and escort. Man is raking in the big bucks working under Stags INC. The only reason Ray and him are friends is because Icarus has a lot of intel on the people manning the cartels. While Ray initially got his cooperation by bargaining to sweep his drug use under the carpet, he found Ray is a fun guy and not too sleazy to be around. Plus he's fun to tease, which is Icarus' favorite thing.

He's a Stav'raw, as opposed to Ray who is an Auveri. Unlike Ray he cannot fly. He has dense bones and his wings are only good for a glide. Which, he doesn't preen them. He was never taught so he is absolutely matted with feathers he hasn't thought to pull out. He's actually much more vibrant but because he's so fucking crusty with feathers from his whole existence you can't really tell. Additionally the sclera of his eyes is black. Along with his mouth and lips. He also gave himself a split tongue.

He comes from a very neglectful household with a mother who was a first generation Earthian and a non-existent father. He found his profession as a way out of that bad situation. Though Icarus' dream job is being able to help kids someday. He wants to be a pediatrician for alien children, believing that if one adult had noticed the abuse happening to him he could have been helped.

While Icarus doesn't think he'll make it because of his job history, Ray encourages him. Also reassures him that there are other ways he can help people. While Icarus is bummed he's only just starting to get into the 9 years of schooling at 28, he remains hopeful.

His hobbies consist of video games, nursing classes, clubbing, taking his dogs for walks along the beach, and riding his motorcycles around.

Another fun fact is that this man is absolutely the best of friends with Rays older brother Rowan. Though he has no clue the two are related because they look nothing alike and it's just never comes up. It will be chaos when all three of them figure it out and Rowan tries to beat him for trying to rizz up his beloved sibling. Ray will also get a scolding for bringing sweet, innocent Icarus into his less ethical detective practices. Ha.

Additionally, in freak coincidence Rowans child, is also his niece! He genuinely had no clue until one night in a deep conversation his best friend opened up about how similar Icarus looks to his niece, Onyx's egg donor. Icarus developed an even deeper hatred for his twin sister that night upon Rowan opening up even more about what his sister did to him. (It gets real fucking dark, so I'll spare those details.)

Icarus absolutely hates talking about his blood relations unless its Onyx. Who he treasures deeply and is so proud of. And by proxy Rowan. Of course. Who is his bro, his best friend, his pogchamp.

I can't think of much more, if you want to know something specific please feel free to send more asks!

[emchovy]

Learned about the release of this book real late, (as in, this February, when I decided that I wanted to show my roommate Epithet for the first time) but thankfully that was just in time to preorder a copy of the hardcover release, which finally came.

Or well, it came yesterday, and I'm finished reading it now. It was AMAZING.

The writing style is pretty different from the stuff I normally read, but once I got in the groove, I felt like I didn't need the audiobook (which I'm definitely gonna get eventually) because I could basically hear all the characters in my head. Also, spoilers for the rest of my review. Pick up a copy. You won't regret it.

I say review. This is disconnected rambling. Also, seriously, spoilers for the whole book delivered in a random out-of-context way.

This book is definitely Molly's story more than anything, and beyond that it's a story between Molly and her sister Lorelei. Two kids with epithets, and opposite personalities. There's a really masterful job here of balancing realistic family drama with the fun, villain vs. hero hijinks.

I love a pathetic loser, and so I was immediately taken by Rick Shades, and his quest for friends, to the point I was getting bummed out when he kept getting rebuffed lololol. However, it was all earned in the end. The scene with him and Molly was <3. Also, I am glad he's gonna get a job. Of some sort.

Naven meeting Molly in the street and just agreeing to give her speech training is an incredibly cute concept.

I liked the Neo Trio a lot, but they're surprisingly not the new faves I expected them to be, though I did laugh pretty much every time at the running joke with Feenie and money.

Actually, my favorite new character was probably Lorelei. We love a girl who's making every wrong decision and also just doesn't leave the house anymore and wonders what's wrong. Also, the Martin + Lorelei relationship was also pretty intriguing. He's more supportive of Lorelei, she's got more of his traits, but Lorelei needs someone who'll help her manage better. Martin's vague support of her 'playing', as Molly puts it, is doing more harm than good. I wasn't exactly sure how to take the fact that Martin constructs Lorelei's ideas in the real world, also. Is he plagiarizing? I wouldn't read it that way, but he's also not collaborating with Lorelei, so they could build something together. A relationship that could go either collaborative or parasitic, depending.

Also, I want Lorelei to get better (and I fully believe she will) but I really liked the end. She needs some time in the real world right now, to grapple with her actions. Neven's gentle support was good. Her and Molly need time apart, so that they can be able to be together again.

Gio and Molly remain duo of all time. Every interaction they have is cute and/or funny. Two characters I could probably enjoy watching/reading about doing basically any boring task you can think of and enjoy. Painting a fence, doing laundry, vacuuming, whatever.

Giovanni's complete blindness to romance was so fuckin' funny in this book. Him and Lorelei and him and Crusher were also distinctly different levels of complete obliviousness.

Also, Crusher and Molly, right at the end <3!! Pulling out the stool for her, her getting reassured by the fact she was nervous. Augh. So sweet. I've reread that scene like 4 times. I do hope we get Molly hanging out with more of The Boys. Crusher's coming across like a pretty gentle sweetie, but I'm very curious about how she'll integrate into the larger group.

All of that to say! Good book!! Would recommend! I'm extremely excited for Sweet Escape.

[bloodyknucklesforme]

Room for More | Soap x Nina

I was randomly inspired so have a really sweet/sorta sad fic

CW: pregnancy, talk about miscarriages

"Can I bum one?" Johnny asked, walking up to Gaz. They'd gotten back to base a couple hours prior. He'd drive back home tomorrow morning.

"Thought you quit?" Gaz still handed him a cigarette and his lighter.

"I did. Don't tell Nina?" Johnny asked, ashamed. Gaz drew an x over his heart. "She wants to keep trying for a baby. I do too but she's had two miscarriages now."

"Nothing you can do to prevent them?" Kyle was the only person he felt like he could talk to about this.

"No," he shook his head. "Decade and a half of malnutrition and no medical care will do that. I don't want to tell her no because she really wants it. I really want it. Maybe I talked it up too much. Wanting a big family."

"There are other options."

"I know. I'm not against it. She said after the first one that she wanted to give me something. I told her that I don't want anything from her. I don't need it. She's insistent."

"She is," Gaz nodded. "She's always been tough. You only have a couple months left before you're out."

"I think we'll hold off trying again till then. If she has another miscarriage I want to be there for her. I wasn't there for the first one and the second one was awful for us." He took a long drag to distract him from the memory. "Felt like it was my fault."

Gaz clapped his back and pulled him into a side hug.

"I don't think it's anyone's fault," He said. "Not either of yours at least."

Nina had decided to keep it a secret, even from herself. She forced herself to forget what the test had said. She told herself it was easier. She would be less upset when it didn't work out and if she didn't lose it would be a pleasant surprise.

She'd done a good job of forgetting.

Johnny was due back later tonight. His missions were taking longer. He'd been gone for over two months. She'd started her usual rituals of cleaning the house and making him shortbread biscuits. He'd pick up dinner on the way. They'd spend the next couple of days decompressing. The weather was getting warmer. She wanted to have a picnic outside.

She'd gotten everything done and took a shower to freshen up. She caught herself in the floor length mirror as she shrugged on her cardigan. Her stomach had a small bump to it. Almost unnoticeable to anyone except her. She stopped and cupped her hands around the bump.

"Hi, there." She spoke softly to her stomach. She'd never gotten this far. She walked up to the mirror and sat cross legged on the floor in front of it. "I'm...I'm sorry I've been ignoring you these past couple weeks. Truth is I'm afraid of you."

"Not really of you but I'm afraid you'll leave. I won't be upset with you if you do. I know it's not the best place to be. I'd like it if you stayed. I won't ignore you anymore. You can keep me company while your dad is away." She felt a little foolish talking to them. And..and if you make it all the way I promise to take care of you. You won't be cold or hungry. Your dad will love you. I'll keep you safe. He'll keep you safe."

"I don't know if you can hear me. You're probably not bigger than an apple or something. I always thought it was weird comparing you to fruit. It just seems so small. You're so small yet you're bigger than your siblings. They couldn't stay very long. I wanted them to. Like I said, I won't be mad at you if you can't. I know it's not your fault. If you can though, it'd be nice."

"Your dad doesn't know yet. He'll be home soon though. You can meet him. He's quite handsome even with his dumb haircut." She laughed. "He's also kind and he's an artist. If you wanted he'd probably paint a mural in your room. Another reason for you to stay. I hope you like the names we've talked about. Elsie Poppy for a girl. Poppy was my mum's name and I'd like to grow a row of them in the box outside your window. You'll have a whole garden to run around in and I'll plant whatever you want."

"I feel like I should stop talking to you. I think if you leave I won't try again. Your dad drew me a flower for the last two times. They're hanging up in the hallway and I think that more than three would look weird..." She wiped her cheek. "This time it'll be a poppy. Would you like that? I didn't get to ask last time. I don't want to guilt you into staying. I know it's not up to you. I love you. I hope you know that. I'll always love you. Your dad loves you even if he doesn't know about you yet. If you can't stay for me, try to stay for him. He's been through a lot. He'd really like to meet you. He has a nephew and I just know he'd be the best dad to you. He wouldn't yell at you or make you feel unwanted or small. He'd teach you how to play football and draw. He would.."

The floor creaked behind her. Nina spun around. Johnny was standing in the doorway. They had matching tears. She reached out her hand and beconed him closer.

"How long have you been here?" She asked, as they wiped each other's tears.

"I like the name Poppy," He smiled, pressing his forehead against hers. She took his hand and laid it across her stomach. He looked down and grinned. "I'm sorry I don't smell better. I'm your dad. I'd also like you stay. You're strong like your mum."

He pulled Nina into his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist, rubbing a hand over her stomach. His chin sat on her shoulder.

"She makes great biscuits and soups. She'll love taking you to the beach. She might not share her plushes but she'll make sure you have so many of your own." Nina laughed. "She might be English but no one's perfect. Except maybe you but that's because you'll be Scottish."

"She'll read to ya every night. And she'll write the most gorgeous poems about ya even if she won't let anyone read em. You'll have a cousin, a grandma, an aunt on my side. On yer mum's side you'll have Grandpa Price."

"He'll hate you for saying that."

"It's true though. Now let me finish." He kissed her cheek. "Uncle Kyle and Uncle Simon. Then there will be your Teehos."

"You're saying that wrong."

"How do you say it then?"

"There's no H. Tío."

"Since when did you speak Spanish?"

"I've been practicing. Rudy and I facetime every other week so I can practice. He says I'm very good."

"Your tío's Alejandro and Rudy. There will be so many people who love you." He rubbed one of Nina's arms. "Can't say it'll be more than us though. So if you can stay we'd love to have ya."

He moved his hand off her stomach to cup her face to turn her towards him.

"Whatever happens, I love you. If you don't want to try again that's okay with me. We can try other things but even if none of that works. I'll be happy just living my life with just you."

"I love you. I'd be happy too." She turned to hug him, wrapping her legs around his waist.

"You been to the doctor yet?" He asked, rubbing his hands up and down her back.

"I've been afraid," she admitted.

"We'll make an appointment tomorrow, yeah?" He kissed her forehead. "How far along do you think you are?"

"Maybe three months," she shrugged. "I wasn't keeping track like I should have."

They had to wait a week but they got the appointment. Everything looked well. Nina was starting on pre natal vitamins among other supplements. They made another appointment in another two weeks for the first ultrasound.

"What if something's wrong?" Nina squeezed his hand as they waited for the tech.

"We'll figure it out. I'm right here. It'll be okay," he kissed the back of her hand, his leg was bouncing up and down despite his attempts to hide his own fears. He held her hand tightly as the tech performed the exam.

"Everything looks good. Fetal development looks well. That's the heartbeat and oh.." He thought Nina might break his hand until the tech turned grinning. She turned the screen around for them to look at. "Listen to that."

"There's two heartbeats. Why would there be two?"Nina looked at Johnny.

"Twins..."

"Congratulations." She pointed towards the screen. "That's baby one and here's baby two. Fraternal twins."

Nina laughed as tears ran down her face.

"Twins? Really? Johnny... we're going to have twins?" He leaned down and kissed her.

"You made a compelling case. They must have been listening."

"Would you like me to print out photos.''

"Yes please!" The last time he saw her so happy was their wedding day just a year prior. She couldn't stop looking at the photos on the drive back.

"Can't believe I got ya pregnant twice," He laughed.

"Oh you owe me for this. Twins are much harder."

"I'm the one who has build two nurseries now. Do you think we get two baby boxes now?"

"I would hope so. We can't fit them in one." She laughed.

"We'll have to tell my mum soon."

"Price too." She looked at the photos again and laughed.

"What is it?"

"I'm really happy. Like really fucking happy."

Johnny reached across the console and squeezed her knee. All the memories from the past couple years with her played over in his head. All the hard times, the hospital stays, the sleepless nights, the panic attacks, the depressive episodes. All he ever wanted was for her to be happy.

"I love you, Nina. I'm happy too."

AN: Forgive any errors in regards to the ultrasound, I've never been pregnant lol.

tag list: @macravishedbymactavish

[bettsfic]

2023 WIP cleanout

a couple years ago i did a major WIP cleanout and it was very satisfying, and i've been bummed out lately so i'm doing it again to cheer myself up.

i have about 200k worth of unposted/unfinished fic, and i'd like to make a decent dent in that. when i listed out my WIPs i was surprised to find that most of them i'd written past the 50% mark and for whatever reason, the fic went an unanticipated direction. instead of fixing it, i moved on. the problem is that usually the unanticipated direction is something cool and that i want to pursue, but would make the fic longer and more complicated than i want it to be, and more work than i want to put into it. once i get enough distance from a fic, it's a lot easier to see how to get it back on track.

there are many things i set down and never think about again, but if it sticks in my head for longer than a couple months, then i know i need to come back to it eventually.

so this is my accountability thread! and i'm going to lay out the steps i took to triage these fics and get them posted, in case it helps anyone struggling with the same problem.

here are the things on my WIP cleanout list:

(Organic Chemistry isn't on this list because i'm actively working on it, albeit slowly)

Wind of the New World

Annie/Finnick, The Hunger Games (ASE epilogue)

started August 2020

this one is what inspired the cleanout, and as of yesterday it is DONE and POSTED. for the longest time it sat at about 7k when i knew it would be 10k, and i couldn't make myself write the last 3k because somehow it turned into a threesome fic with Gale and it took me a loooong time to let go of that idea. also, it required a lot of canon knowledge, which faded the longer i kept it on the backburner.

to finish it, i:

killed a few darlings (Finnick's crush on Gale)

down drafted the scenes i hadn't yet written

reread ASE while taking notes

rewatched Mockingjay 2 while taking notes

transcribed several scenes of Mockingjay 2

made a punch list of things i wanted to fix/rearrange/expand on

up drafted, dental drafted, and posted

completing it took about 15 hours across 3 days.

Stray

Lumine/Razor, Genshin Impact

started April 2021

this is an alternate beginning to genshin where the traveler finds Razor instead of Paimon. it stalled out at 5k because i wanted it to be rated M and i also wanted the characters to get all the way to Liyue, but both of those things were far more work than i wanted to put into it. so now it'll be rated G and end when they reach Mondstadt. i don't anticipate it will be more than 7k.

Before the Suns Rise

Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan, Star Wars

started June 2022

this one is nearly 45k and about 95% done. i set it down because 1) i got to the threesome part and writing threesomes is hard, 2) i hadn't watched the Clone Wars or Rebels yet and so i was self-conscious about my knowledge of canon, and 3) i got distracted by Lemon.

another thing that a lot of these WIPs have in common is that they're very closely tied to canon and therefore have Plot and even though i can do Plot, i find it exhausting and a little tedious.

this is a post-Vader, alt-OWK timeline fic. in the 20+ star wars fics i've written, only 5 of them are in any way related to canon, and they're all one-shots. so this one is going to be hard.

i anticipate it'll only take 5k to finish, for a total of 50k and 14 chapters.

Patronage

Seungho/Nakyum, Painter of the Night

started October 2021

this is my Patreon AU that's over 10k already. in it, Seungho is married to Jihwa (and cheating on him with Nakyum) and i wanted to write the whole thing through to their divorce (and Seungho Getting A Real Job), but that is just. a lot. so i'm going to write only to Seungho finally giving in to his feelings for Nakyum, with the knowledge that after season 4 is finished, i may want to continue it as a series and write the latter half as i'd intended.

i'll probably only add 1-2k, for a total of 12k.

In Water Falling

Ahsoka/Rex, Star Wars

started November 2022

this was the first rexsoka fic i started working on when i finished Clone Wars. i got about 10k in, scrapped it, wrote another 15k, scrapped it, and then started focusing on Organic Chemistry. also, i just got very frustrated with it. to fix this one, i think i need to lower my expectations of it, rearrange some plot points, and write the final 2-3 scenes.

maybe 3-4k more? hopefully it'll cap out under 20k.

There & Here

Chishiya/OFC, Alice in Borderland

started February 2023

in my defense, i set this one down, like. a week ago. there's nothing i'm stalled out on; i just have to finish it.

currently 25k, hopefully only 5k more, capping out under 30k. it's 4 chapters.

things i intend to finish later:

Good Bones - this is my Emergency Fic that i'm saving for when i'm too blocked to write anything else

Bomb Time - this is a BOSAS fix-it. i definitely want to finish it, but i'm going to wait until the film comes out in November, so i don't have to reread the book to remember what's going on

[landslided]

sorry same anon again just returning to briefly add that i think season 1 of cobra kai made me so insane and now i'm trapped in this loop because i see that i could be so good like it could be SO good and then i think okay well there's always samtory future cobrakai arc where sam has dropped out of college and worked dead ends jobs for years and has largely pushed her parents away out of self loathing and like tory meanwhile has found like incredible success and similarly in a situation where tory has to help sam but it compels me SO much in how it would be different than daniel and johnny where tory WOULD be SINCERE in trying to make amends etc and sam would be the more instigator/"daniel" role despite occupying the "johnny" position if that makes sense. anyway that is to say i think top two characters who narratively should have sex that aren't daniel and johnny in my opinion. also that the second most INSANE making thing the show has done that was SO good was tory winning because silver paid off the refs INSANE COMPELLING DEFINING moment of all time for samtory season 5 really dropped the ball on the execution of but INSANE set up INSANE choice for their dynamic SO rich. anyway. sorry my only friend i've managed to get into cobra kai is too busy writing deranged piano teacher aus to/with me so i have no outlet for samtory future cobra kai gay sex moment. hey does anyone else think women should be divorced bums in their forties who fuck raw. anyone else. anyo --

(hope it's okay i replied to your anon like this, i wanted to put all your thoughts on the same ask because i know tumblr just hates us and doesn't let us talk the way we want to in asks)

okay wait okay there is SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE just so much and i feel like it's christmas already

first thing first don't ever feel the need to apologize for sending me anons like this quite literally the best thing i've ever received in many years of being on this hellsite i feel a little bit like chewing glass with how excited i am.

i totally get what you mean about season 1 because it truly feels like they trap you inside this complicated story of violence, vengeance and expectations and then they just never truly pick it up again and you are left with the bits and pieces of this show that not only has so much wasted potential but that has now infected you and you get visions like the fucking youtube red premium cursed cassandra of what it could have been if they'd just committed to what they were selling.

but the. yes. yes, we could have future samtory, it's the thing holding our heads above the water because GOD anon, i feel like you've managed to read my unfinished stories and my drafts on here because i wrote at least ten posts about how i think sam has the same journey as johnny (rich kid who ruins herself through self-hatred and repression and just this insatiable need of not being her father, of not being larusso 2.0 even though she is very much daniel to the shape of her smile and the marrow of her bones), sam who runs away, sam who has to do so to try and find herself except she can't because she has gotten absolutely no tools to do so, she's shaped herself into this perfect glass ornament for her father to put on display because she LOVES him and he loves her too but nothing she has is her own and she cannot find a single thing in herself that doesn't feel like a lie or a performance once again.

and tory is not like this. tory is very much whole and unwaveringly herself even when it gets her in trouble. tory doesn't have to answer for any expectations, tory just has to survive and rise to the occasion in a way sam never had to. tory has this weight on her shoulders that she cannot shake off but in many ways, through love mostly, she picked that weight up and placed it there herself even if it wasn't fair and even if she didn't have much choice, but she makes conscious decisions that pretty much always put herself at risk but she does what she feels is right and good for herself and for the people she loves in the moment, meanwhile sam is carrying around this burden that was attached to her back long before she first even opened her eyes.

there is something to say about the tragedy of daniel, absolutetly unable to have friends, unable to form meaningful relationships with people he doesn't have a past with (louie is his cousin, anoush is his employee, johnny, chozen and mike are part of his past) and when he does, it's robby he chooses because he doesn't look for an equal or a friend, he looks for a way to reproduce his relationship with mr miyagi but in the opposite because that's when he felt at his safest, that's his ONLY relationship that has brought him nothing but love and understanding and when you add all that (which, like you, i do. i do see all of the show's forgetful little things as proof of daniel's forced repression after tkk3 i literally wrote a whole section about his loneliness in one of my fics but ANYWAY) when you do add all that and translate it to sam who has no friends. it's not even that she doesn't have girl friends, she doesn't and its crazy and it says SO much about her, but she doesn't have any friends who aren't something else at first. miguel is her ex, so is robby, demetri was her sort of student for a while and then a sort of colleague to which she applies a relationship that is more reminiscent of boss/employee than actual friends and she!!! doesn't!!! have friends!!! they took away aisha but even before that sam had almost purposefully fucked up her relationship with aisha to enter a circle of popular kids who were NOT her friends and were not close to her and did not care about her. sam keeps herself locked away from a lot of her peers and that is so very clearly in my head an imitation of what her father does that it becomes unconsciously her own behavior.

and worse than all that, she's fucked up! like genuinely fucked up! she keeps ruining her relationships and she doesn't know what she wants and she is angry and scared and mean when she wants to be and yet, there is such a true real kindness to her, a goodness that comes from her very core that she cannot keep from affecting all her decisions.

sam would grow up estranged from her family, unable to express these monstrous feelings she's kept locked away for song long and she would find tory again and feel this same pull. this same moment of oh, maybe you do get me, maybe you do understand what and who i am and that is totally unbearable because being known is being in danger and i don't know myself how dare you know me more than i do. and tory would be genuine in wanting to help sam, because tory, a kid who did so much to survive and who has now found success and comfort would want to help someone she feels like she might have impacted in her life, someone who deserves the same chance she got (and maybe it's to alleviate some of her guilt too but it's still true and it's still done with this undercurrent of honesty that taints everything tory touches)

i also totally agree that making silver pay for tory's win was a wonderful plot decision that they totally fucked up later on but just, ugh the exquisite bittersweet victory, the defeat in sam's eyes because the win should have been hers, she's the best and she's played every single card in the game and tory knows this, knows that she's undeserving and she has NEVER been undeserving in her life and yet here she is, silver has made a liar out of her and has changed a fundamental part of who she is forever.

older samtory who are pathetic losers in the matters of love and keep pulling the same old tricks with each other that always ends up on the mat, licking old wounds before pouring salt directly onto them.

truly. truly ship of all time. samtory has the potential of a thousand suns.

(i ALSO am a big sam shaves her head believer god im UGH yes yes yes yes)

im sorry i ended up talking so much, but like you i feel a lot of emotions for these girls.

ALSO!!!!!!!! YOUR FRIEND'S DERANGED PIANO TEACHER AU????? I HAVE READ THIS FIC AT LEAST FIVE TIMES SINCE IT WAS POSTED LAST MONTH AND I EVEN COMMENTED ON IT THAT IT HAD MADE ME CRAZY LIKE GENUINELY BITING AT MY FINGERNAILS UNHINGED!!!!!!!!

if you ever feel comfortable being off anon, hit me up i think im in love with your brain and would love to discuss samtory with you

[non-bee-knees]

Alright Sinners,

My ranking of every Hazbin Season 1 Song, (purely based on how much I like them for whatever reason)

Starting With:

16. Welcome To Heaven:

St. Peter pisses me off. Idk if it's his voice or whatever, but he's annoying and unnerving and I hate it. :((((

15. It Starts With Sorry:

This was originally bottom of the list, before i remembered tht Welcome to Heaven exists. I think it's a cute song, sure, but it's just...meh. It's kinda lost when its surrounded by other bangers, and especially when it's preceeded by Stayed Gone - it had no chance. I love Pen, but this isn't it for me

14. Whatever It Takes:

If I had a nickel for every time a musical series had and wasted JAMES MONROE IGLEHART, I'd have two nickles. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice (the other time is Tangled the Series)

Seriously though, when it's just Carmilla singing, this song is great, it's powerful and passionate. Then Vaggie starts singing. And don't get me wrong, I think Stephanie is a great voice actress and singer, but from the start I just didn't like her as the voice of Vaggie. It seems off to me, and it feels even worse here. Great song, but I think this is a person preference sort of thing bringing it down :(

13. Happy Day In Hell:

Opening song, pretty good. I was planning on using this as a sort of middle ground for the rest of the songs, but once you get into it, it's clear that while it's good, so many other songs are better, sadly. It is such a fun song, and I love the background voices, they're fun. Plus the little tempo change is cute halfway through, I like it a lot. It just doesn't hold up in comparison to the rest of the soundtrack

12. More Than Anything Reprise

Cute little thing right before the end, it's sweet and I'm glad that Charlie and Vaggie are good again. It suffers the same issue as Happy Day in that while it's good, there are other greats. It wins over it because I like the vocals here, and the change in the music from the original More Than Anything is neat.

11. Hell Is Forever:

My boyfriend is very very bummed that I put this one this low. I like this song, but again, there are others I like so much more. Adam is a dick, Alex does a fantastic job voice acting, and I do like the way he emphasises bits like 'pearly gates' its neato. Plus the whole 'guitar solo' bit is fun :))

10. Out for Love:

The first listen, I thought it was meh. As I relistened, it just got better and better. Idk who voices Carmilla but she is FANTASTIC, the mix of the guitar and the heavy beat, and her sining/speaking on beat is good. As well as the bit where the music stops for a second before the second chorus. Fabulous stuff honestly, if being an Overlord doesn't work out for Carmillia she could become a singer instead like holy shit.

Also this is the second Carmilla/Vaggie song... the whole Carmilla was from Heaven theories are looking stronger by the minute

9. Poison:

Shit. Banging song. Blake does such an AMAZING JOB>?!?!?!?! Like holy fuck what a banger. I like this song, the way it's used in the show is brilliant, the ENDING?????? OMG. The bits around "Anyway you want me baby thats the way you got me baby" Are my faves, like those longer notes are so good ffrrrrrrr. I very like this song.

8. Respectless:

GIRLLLLLLL????? VELVETTE?????!!!??!?! OMG BABY GET IT. Vox is my fav V but shit Velvette is such that Bitch fr. This song is so fun, she's so right, and Unpopular Opinion- I think her voice is absolutely perfect for her charcter. Couldn't imagine her without her shitty little british accent. Also Velvette changes clothes every Ep; such a fun detail

7. More Than Anything:

Screaming, kicking my legs, giggling JEREMY JORDAN SBF HIBDBB:VHIBDHF I LOVE HIM HE PUTS HIS WHOLE SOUL INTO EVERYTHING HE DOES AND THIS IS NO DIFFERENT

such a sweet, genuine song, i love hearing them realise that they really love each other and learn about each other, I love the duet at the end, I love charlies solo bit, the fucking "Apple doesn't fall far" sbdfbhhb'bvofvj ADOREEEEEEE Such a cute song FR kisses

6. Finale:

So many elements here that are just *chefs kiss* JEREMY JORDAN I WANT TO KISS YOU. The gang all singing together is just so fucking cute, Vox and Val are Gay and Canon and theyre so cute thinking they're gonna rule Hell T-T - I need to see how Vox reacted to Al not being dead. AND SPEAKING OF: AL's VERSE???? SIRRRR?? ARE YOU OKAY??? mans was loosing it frrr (i also wanna kiss him on the forehead and put him to bed) (Some one pointed out that he doesn't have his staff in the last moments of the song) (also it's cute that he headed back to his radio shack to breakdown, babe really said 'safe space')

5. You Didn't Know:

We all knew this was gonna be this high up, WHAT A BANGER?????? I adore Sera's voice, it's so good, and Lute singing?? get it girl. And we all know the 'Hell is Forever' Reprise is absolute PEAK soooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking good. ANd the end??? ADAM YOURE A CUNT but also Drama ✨✨✨

4. Stayed Gone:

NFBHBH{B@OUFE@OF Alastor and Vox are two of my fav fiction men Types: Suave sassy cunts with way too much power (with fun voice effects for extra Style)

Seriously this song really outlines them so well??? Like Vox is desperate for control, hence the fucking new's cast, and he's erratic and insane, trying his best to make absolutely sure that his viewers stay his viewers, instead of pivoting to Radio. In contrast, Al is still and calm, staying in one place while Vox flicks all over the place through his screens. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE END PART He really went Sicko Mode to bully a man after 7 years of ignoring him, FUck i love Alastor

3. Loser, Baby:

Need more be said? It's Loser, Baby, it has it all. Smooth vocals, fun jazz, cute choreography, a dancable beat, a wonderfully approachable message (my bf got worred that i liked it so much because he thought it was concerning at first, but it's so comforting to be told, 'hey we're all fucked, let's be fucked together 😊'

Blank and Keith work so beautifully together vocally that if we don't get another duet in S.2 imma riot I swear.

also "They're fucking singing???" GOLD

This song put Husk right into my top 3, only for Ep 5 to push him righ to Number 1(*)

2. Hell's Greatest Dad:

JEREMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

JORDANNNNNNNNNN

IS A FUCKING MASTERPIECE

'from the big boss of hell himself' FUCK ME (/hj)

Seriously tho, an electrojazz duet between Al and Lucifer was such a gorgeous idea whoever made this song needs a fucking RAISE the differences in their music while they're soloing, only for it to 'clash' when Lucifer brings out the fiddle (yes its a fiddle, not a violin)

(also violin and piano are complimentary intruments, so while its not a violin, it's still neat to know that they still work 'together' as they hate each other)

The end with Mimzy?? Funny, I liked it. I hate mimzy, she's annoying and she's bound to return, but yeah, I liked her interuption as her intro, it's fitting. Also Lucifer's little 'who' at the end makes me giggle.

Ready for This:

D ;bvb'obvrgo#rjhprb#o#RPGNR

I quite like this song. In case you couldn't tell by the way it's No.1. Its a mix of the vocals being FUCKING GORGEOUS, the changes in style as the song goes on 'come on boys hop in the saddle' IMMA KISS ERIKA. Also the way the Cannibals get on board so fast is so funny, their verse is so fun

And don't get me started on ROSIEjf bhfb'au#bf'h[bfb#ru "That's enthusiasm darling" I LOVE HERRRRRRRRR

Her and Al are so sweet, thier little verse at the end is lovely. I think in trying to convince Rosie to trust Charlie, Al accidentally realised how much he cares about her 🤭

You can tell how much I like each song as I slowly loose my sanity as the list goes down 😅

(*) My fave is Husk, the Rosie, then Al, then Vox, then Angel 😊

This is all just my opinons; Please let me know what you agree with, what you disagree with, where you would put each song and why - id love to hear it xxxx

[matan4il]

Would I have viewed the finale differently if I didn't know it could have been the last? It still would have sucked and I would have been bummed. Outside of the Buddie of it I don't know why they couldn't let one of them stay single. Especially the pandering way they did it.

As someone who chooses not to be in a relationship, I wish they would have normalized it. I was a bit of an oopsie to older parents and the very youngest to many siblings. As a result, I have taken care of them and a lot of nieces and nephews. But I love it!! It allowed me to go to school longer and get my dream job. I get to vacation when I want. Everyone knows I will be the one to take the kids on their first trip abroad. I love my life. It's a blend of selflessness and selfishness, and there have been people like me forever. I have always seen shades of that in Eddie and Buck. I don't see the need to force either to be in a relationship or even make them seem lonely. Either way, I still wouldn't have liked it because it was done poorly, I especially didn't understand the "why Marisol." It was lazy writing and unfulfilled at best.

Also, one other small thing. I do identify with them a bit also because it's like the butterfly effect. Maybe they would be completely different people if Eddie hadn't knocked up Shannon and Bucks' parents' cared. Maybe I would be different if I was first born instead of last? And that's OK to think, but also ok to still love the life you have now..

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for the ask and sorry it's taken me a bit to reply, I wish real life wasn't as intense... but I hope you're doing good! *hug*

I agree with you so much, not wanting to be in a r/s at any cost should be normalized. I'm SO happy for you, to hear that you have a good life and that you're enjoying it to the fullest!

I believe that having a family (a romantic partner, kids) has a different meaning to each person. I'm the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors, so what family is to me was very much shaped by what they taught me. To my grandparents, the family that they built was the ultimate victory over the hatred that tried to exterminate all of us Jews. Passing along their identity, their heritage, their values, as well as the memory of those relatives who had been murdered in the Holocaust, it was all a part of this triumph. That's on top of the significance of continuity through family in Judaism in general.

So I come from a very specific background, and even I recognize that what family means to me isn't a universal thing. Which is why it's very annoying to see that TV and movies often treat the subject as if there is only one way to be happy, and that is to find a romantic partner. Many times, it's tied to having kids as well, but almost always it's about settling with a life partner. And I think it's a harmful message, this idea of "one size fits all." More than that, I believe in certain cases it's so pervasive that some people try to stick it out in bad r/s, even abusive ones, due to the idea that it's better than to be alone. When it clearly is not!

That's why Eddie breaking up with Ana simply over the fact that he wasn't happy was so important, realizing that if his happiness was elsewhere, it's okay to walk away, that was so important. Like I said in this ask reply, they can still turn the storyline with Marisol (and for that matter, Natalia) into something poignant about Eddie (and Buck's) journey. What upsets me is the thought they might have actually wanted to leave it there, in that place where Buddie seem to be dating women just for the sake of dating once more.

Hope you have a great day! As always, my ask tag. xoxox