#i'm doing this so i actually have a reason to finish them and upload

[alllgator-blood]

I don't usually do anything for pride month cause I'm fruity every day of the year, but ahhh let's just say this year it felt especially important. Hope everyone is doing safe and that your ally friends/family members are giving you all their worldly possessions + sacrificing heretics in your name! I actually drew a very similar picture last year but didn't end up finishing it, some of the flags were definitely different though. NARINDER HAD THE EVIL AUTISM FLAG FOR SOME REASON. Shamura was the only one I finished so I'll just drop them off here:

Wow look at them go, rejecting humanity and encompassing cosmic knowledge and ceaseless war rather than masculinity or femininity....what an icon

Over the year that I've been in this fandom, I've had a lot of thoughts about Shamura's gender that I'll dump here, I WILL SAY it gets more ranty than I've ever gotten on this blog + talks about the fandom itself, so I hid it under the cut. But I feel like I've been pretty tame on this blog so far and because it's pride month, I have the legal right to make ONE rant about a queer fictional character's perception by the fandom

My weak enby heart still has a fucking death grip on shamura that hasn't been loosened in over a year at this point. They're not the best nonbinary representation in media but they're MY FAVORITE and that's all that matters. I can't stress how awesome it felt playing an actually cool, fun game a couple years ago and seeing that the Wisest, Most Powerful Eldritch Beast in all the land was a disabled nonbinary person. And it goes completely without question, it's like yeah that's shamura and *they're* going to traumadump on you and mind control your followers to rebel against you. Don't even worry about it bro

Being like....nonbinary and disabled and native and butch and yadda yadda, I swear to god I just got used to having no media/characters I could relate to. I didn't even think about how bad it felt until I'd stumble into the odd comic or indie game that had a Diverse Cast that MAY feature someone like me, but generally those types of things don't really *do* much with those characters. Not to be like THEY JUST WANT BROWNIE POINTS but...uhhh.........is it so bad to say that sometimes it does feel that way lmao, I won't play your game or read your comic if I feel like you see me as a checkbox to tick rather than a person with a fundamentally different experience.

I'll take this time to say it is kind of disheartening to see the fandom's treatment of shamura's gender sometimes, as someone who uses exclusively they/them. I've got a thick fucking skin, I've publicly acknolwedged I was genderless since before the nonbinary flag was even made, I've had a lot of time to roll with the punches that inevitably come from being trans. But literally one of the first comments I ever got about my shamura headcanons (when I still posted on reddit like a year ago) was that they didn't like that I made them AFAB and said "why can't they just be completely genderless". Like...making the TRANS character TRANSITION at some point was a bad thing? I wasn't saying "they're a girl in my drawings lol" and I even explained that I made them AFAB so I could connect with them better but. Ough

I s2g just mentioning this character brings up arguments, same with the lamb to a lesser extent, but DO NOT look at the reply chains on the youtube uploads of ANY of shamura's songs. It's always that someone calls them a him or her, someone corrects them, someone crucifies that person for being the Woke Police, blah blah blah IT'S AWFUL. It's funny in a way that the mere presence of a nonbinary person is enough to start a small war, but it also feels dehumanizing to know that my gender just cannot respectfully be talked about the same way binary genders can.

While I'm still talking about this, I don't hold it against people who played the game in other languages and call shamura "he" or w/e because from their perspective, the character is male. I've not changed my perspective of the character because I found out they're male in other releases, so I can readily accept that those folks won't either. But it feels....gross to see people who played it in english who just picked whatever binary gender they wanted shamura to be and went with that. Literally every single character with a confirmed gender is male except like, Heket + Forneus + Monch, so to take the ONE undebatably nonbinary character and decide they're not good enough the way they are is....ough. "It's my headcanon" bro that's erASURE IDK HOW ELSE TO TELL YOU. The people doing it probably literally do not comprehend what it's like to never see themself in the media they consume so I don't hate them or anything, but it took me like two decades to find a character whose gender feels like mine. It's lonely out here man

There's something to be said about me talking about that while making my kallamar nonbinary, but I'll just say this: there are so, so many male characters out there. If there was a crowd of millions of characters and ONE GUY vanished, you wouldn't be able to tell. But if there was like...a broom closet with like 9 they/thems, you'd fuckin notice if one was gone. AND I DO. Nonbinary representation isn't good enough rn to be taking the very few they/them characters out there and being like "nope my headcanon is that you're just some guy/chick", especially when sooo many people do it. Me taking one sopping wet man out of that crowd and being like "you can still be a sopping wet man, but sometimes you're a girlfail and sometimes your gender is squid" isn't the same I don't feel, otherwise I wouldn't have done it. I can't stop anyone from making shamura binary, we're all just random internet artists and do as we please, but I'm still allowed to judge from afar. I've definitely had people judge my headcanons from afar lmao

edit: I walked away and had to run back because I need reiterate, if you give Shamura features that are seen as "binary" but keep them nonbinary I think it's cool and based, especially if you are also nonbinary and just want to connect with the character more. "Gendered features" or w/e that are on a nonbinary person don't detract from their nonbinary-ness and we don't owe anyone perfect androgyny. I have boobs and an hourglass shape but also a lot of body hair + mustache and a good amount of muscle mass, doesn't mean I'm more girly or manly.

Okay end of rant, I had to get that off my chest for like EVER tbh. I really really hate discourse or drama or w/e but this is a topic that does mean a lot to me, so I made an exception this one time to make my opinion known.

[genericpuff]

Dillyhub is Dead.

At least, that's what it appears to be based on the bugs, lack of customer support response, and rapid decline of the site's stylesheets evidently defaulting to factory settings-

(for anyone unaware, it's not supposed to look like that LMAO it's supposed to look like this-)

Banshriek actually did some extra digging and as it turns out, this site may as well be largely abandoned, even more so than I initially suspected. What he dug up is actually very... interesting, but also incredibly confusing and weird LMAO

(p.s. i checked out that community discord and it's also been dead for years, going through it was actually really depressing because there are a number of comic creator mutuals who i know from other servers who were clearly trying to be a tight-knit community for this platform and the devs... really did seem to abandon them altogether, never returning their calls or answering their questions or responding to their feedback 😔😭)

---------------------------------

Welp, what now?

I do, ultimately, need a secondary mirror for Rekindled. It's convenient and helpful for users who don't have Tumblr accounts, and it's great for me as well because it means I can offer higher-quality uploads without all the restrictive image limits I have to deal with here.

I'm currently looking at NamiComi as the next mirror for Rekindled. I already have an account and the first episode posted there, so I would simply have to pick it up again where it left off. My other option that I can think of off the top of my head is Lemoon.

That said, if anyone has any suggestions for alternative mirrors, I'm open to hearing them. Just be aware that when it comes to mirrors specifically for Rekindled, I wanna fly under the radar. There's a reason I haven't ever posted Rekindled to Webtoons or Tapas, and I don't plan doing so now. So whatever platform I choose, it has to be something discreet. To put it simply, we need a Danny LOL

Sooo yeah! For now, updates outside of Tumblr are obviously paused until I can get another mirror up to date (and that's gonna take at least an afternoon LMAO)

I'll be doing what I can to update DH readers on the situation on that end, but I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna be tricky with the current state of the site. I think my best option is to try and edit / replace the episodes that are currently present with new images that will explain everything and redirect them elsewhere. I mean, I'm already apparently listed as a competitor to Dillyhub, may as well put that power to good use, y'know? 😆 (but that's assuming the edits will even work, that's still TBD).

In the meantime, the next episode will still be posting here on Tumblr when it's finished, hopefully within the next couple weeks or so. By that time I'll probably already have another mirror site set up anyways, buuuut let me know what y'all think about the two choices that I'm erring towards!

Until then, rest in peace, Dillyhub. I don't know if this was an intentional shuttering done quietly in the hopes no one would notice (a failure of course thanks to yours truly) or if their only 2-3 employees just forgot to renew the domain/hosting license for the year, but until the site looks and acts like itself again, I can only assume that the platform has breathed its last. It may not have gone with glory or applause, but its absence will still be felt by this community.

[itsquakey]

After a long while of reuploading posts and not really being online a whole lot I finally can kinda come forward with a few things and new art-think of this as kind of a reboot after a pretty long "break".

First of all, thanks for 3,500 followers! Originally this new art was for 3,000 (nearing 3,500) followers, but while I was working on it I zoomed past 3,500. So thank you all for your support and art for 4,000 followers will happen if I reach such a goal in the future.

I wanted to compile all my follower celebration art together for this-and the newest art is based off my heavy usage of pencil brushes for my current college semester (So no, this style won't come back unless I want to use it as color/shading for my actual style which has evolved a tad but stayed the same overall).

And now that that's over an explanation for all the hectic stuff that has happened and why this blog did what it did below since I feel an explanation is owed, as well as what will occur in the future:

I believe around the very start of 2024, the whole AI fiasco happened within Tumblr, which was also in-between the realization that my childhood was not normal and instead something I don't wish upon anyone plus me finally getting a schizoaffecitve disorder diagnosis. So all these things kinda coming together was the nail in the coffin and I overreacted by scrubbing my tumblr of everything, originally not wanting to repost and instead move stuff to other more safer sites. But instead I chose to use AI poisoning materials to bring my art back at the unfortunate price of the art quality. If I was in a better headspace I would have left the art as it was and maybe just took an extended break. So I apologize for all the wait and craziness.

Now I'm aware there's still a lot of old art that has not been reposted, and they will not be or they are being saved for reposting next year for specific dates. If there is art that has not been reposted you would like to have reposted, please leave an ask in my askbox and I will respond to the ask with the art in question.

What will be in store for the future? I have about a year and a half of college left, meaning this account has a year and a half of being the main focus of me account-wise. There are many projects that need finished, including Birth of a Wish, Revenge of Pike Knight, and multiple other comics that are wips sitting in my procreate app. These comics will be worked on over the time left, as well as a second (for fun) AU in the process of being made and whatever else fanart I wish to make, Kirby or otherwise. These piece will NOT be posted on a real schedule, I will upload them when they are ready. This blog is and was for fun and so I will not force myself to crunch. The only part of it I will have a schedule for is commissions for obvious reasons.

While I will try and interact with the fandom, I do not have the time I used to. I however am still friendly to approach for conversation, advice, and to ask me to be involved in art collabs like the anniversary art collab I was in this year.

That being said, I will also dabble in original concepts in my other blog, including ocs that were seen before like Malifer (now renamed as Nobody) and a comic series in the process of slowly being produced.

That is all for now, see ya!

Itsquakey/Chickenhoops.

[kennarose1108]

My World (Negan Smith x Reader !DAUGHTER OF RICK!)

*SO I MADE THIS FOREVER AGO AND I WANTED TO FINISH IT AND UPLOAD IT... I HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY, PART 2 IS IN A LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS STORY*

You had been with Negan and his group for the last ten months and you knew Negan wasn't the cleanest man on earth. You knew he was doing things... Horrific things to people but you try to turn a blind eye to it. Negan was the best thing that had happened to you since the apocalypse happened. You were alone up until Negan found you on the verge of starving to death.

And over the months your and Negan's relationship had blossomed into something unexpected. He was a lot older than you. You were twenty-six years old and Negan was forty-five... I mean hell he was older than your father would be... Your father...

You were in college when the apocalypse broke out and you prayed your family was okay. After a while, you finally made it back to your family's home to find it completely ransacked and everybody was missing. You went to the hospital where you heard your father was staying after his accident but you didn't even attempt to go inside as it was completely guarded by the dead.

But everything seemed to be okay now... You stayed out of Negan's business as much as you could but today was different. "I need you to go," Negan says. "Why? You have Simon and all your men why do you need me?" You ask while crossing your arms over your chest.

"We made a deal with these people but they're on the more dangerous side than most people we've dealt with. We need everybody." He explains and you sigh deeply. "I don't want to be involved with your 'business deals' Negan. You know how I feel about it." You say with a shrug. "And I don't believe these people willingly made a deal with you either." You say while raising your eyebrows and he chuckles slightly. "Alright, you got me there." He says while standing up from his seat. "These people killed a whole outpost of men for their supplies so we gave them an option of... We raid their shit and we let them live." He shrugs. "No harm, no foul." He says while grabbing your waist and pulling you closer to him. "I just want everybody there in case shit hits the fan. We need to defend ourselves." Negan explains.

"Mhm... What's the actual reason you want me to go? Because we both know I'm only good at killing the dead ones... Not the live ones." You say while squinting your eyes at him. He stares at you for a moment before sighing deeply with a smirk. "You see right through me every time.." He chuckles. "...You're going to be here all by yourself. I don't want you to be alone if something happens here. At least I know if you came with me I can protect you." He says while leaning his forehead against yours.

You clenched your jaw and slightly glared at him before groaning out a 'fine'. He smiled and placed a kiss on your forehead. "Let's get going then."

When you made it out to the trucks Negan ordered you to stay inside of the car until the gates were open. When you made it to the place called Alexandria you sat in the truck with one of Negan's men. You weren't paying attention entirely until the man dropped a heavy gun in your lap. You had no idea how to use it so it was clear it was given to you for threatening purposes. "It's safe now." The man says. You nodded and took a step out of the truck, the man following your steps on the other side.

You were looking down at the ground as you took a few steps. You finally looked up and looked at the people around the gate. There was a woman who looked hardcore and angry and a man who looked confused and kinda wimpy... Then your eyes landed on another man. Your eyes widened as your brain processed what you were seeing, hoping it wasn't another hallucination that you saw so much when you were dehydrated.

But you weren't dehydrated and this wasn't a hallucination. Your lips parted as a soft gasp escaped your lips. The gun you were holding onto fell from your hands and that's when you finally got the man's attention. Your body shook as he gave you a look of confusion into a look of disbelief, the same look you gave him. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as your body shook from the feeling of adrenalin and pure shock coursing through your veins.

Negan looked at you and then at him, confused about what was going on, and that's when you let out a shaky breath, "Dad?" You mumble. "Oh my god.." He whispered. You let out a shaky chuckle as tears finally fell from your eyes. "DAD!" You yelled as you ran full force towards him. Your arms swung open and wrapped around his neck as his arms slung tightly around your body. Your legs shook as you were barely able to keep yourself upright... If it wasn't for his tight grip on you, you would've fallen to the floor. You cried into his shoulder and held onto him tightly before pulling away. "I thought you were dead." You managed to choke out.

Negan stared at you both in disbelief and horror. He also felt stupid for not putting two and two together since you both had the same last name. "Is Carl...?" He nodded. "He's alive." You sigh in relief as a smile appears on your face. "And mom?" You ask. He just stares at you. Your smile slowly fades as you cover your mouth with your hand in disbelief. You let out a shaky 'oh' as you pulled away.

Your father's eyes flicked from you to Negan before looking back at you. "You're with him?" He asks. You nod your head as you wipe a tear that fell from your eyes. "How 'bout you go around Alexandria and look for your brother? Me and your dad have some things to discuss." Negan says while getting behind you and grabbing your shoulders and giving Rick a teasing smile. "Yeah... Yeah, that's a good idea." Rick says while glaring at Negan. You walked away from Negan's grip and you walked around the streets, getting the occasional glare from some of the people that live in Alexandria which made you frown.

But as you walked your eyes fell on a boy walking down the steps from his porch. You squinted your eyes and tried to make out the face of the person. It was hard to tell at first since he had a patch over his eye but you’d recognized that face anywhere.

You smiled and yelled out his name. He looked around for a moment before turning in your direction, his eyes falling onto yours. You smiled as his face turned from confusion to disbelief. With adrenaline coursing through your veins you ran towards him full force. He did the same and you both met in between and practically collapsed into each other. You both kept each other on your feet as you hugged each other tightly. After a minute you pulled away and cupped his face, tears going down both of your faces. “You’ve grown so much.” You chuckle. “I thought you were dead,” Carl says with a slight gasp. “Can’t get rid of me that easily little brother.” You say with a chuckle. You look at the patch on his eye and you slightly frown. “What happened?” You ask your thumb lightly brushing against the edge of it.

“I was shot,” Carl explains. Your eyes widen and you laugh. “You were shot in the face and you survived?! Holy shit I wish Dad informed me how much of a badass you were before I found you.” He chuckles. His eyes then glance to the ground and his smile disappears, he seems to be lost in thought. His eyes flicked back up to you and he sighed. “I have to show you something,” Carl says while backing off and walking back towards the house he came out of.

You follow him into the house and up the stairs. Carl stops in front of a door that was off to the side and he slowly opens it. Your eyes travel to the inside of the room until you see a little girl in a crib. You take a few steps inside and slightly gasp. “Who’s this?” You ask while walking towards her. “That’s Judith. Our sister.” Your head snapped towards him and your eyes widen. “Is that how mom…” He didn’t say anything which was an answer in itself. You nodded and looked back at the little girl. You chuckle and lifted her out of the crib and held her against your body. “Oh my… You are gorgeous.” You say while admiring her little face. But the moment was ruined by the sound of doors slamming open and people talking loudly downstairs. “Hide her.” Carl orders. You quickly put Judith down and left the room with Carl, shutting the door right on time as Simon came running up the steps.

He eyed you and Carl and you both kept your composure. “Everything good up here?” He asks. “Yes. Everything’s fine.” You say with a slight smile. He glanced at the door next to you both and gave you another weird look. “What’s in there?” Simon asks while nodding to the door. “Nothing. The room is empty. Carl was giving me a tour of his home and he offered to let me stay in this room when they get it furnished.” You say with a stern tone of voice.

“Hm... You should talk to Negan about that.” You wanted to argue back and say you were a grown woman and didn’t need his permission but you decided it would be best to keep your mouth shut in this situation. “Come on Carl. Let’s go downstairs.” You say while putting your arm around Carl’s shoulders and pulling him forward, not keeping your eyes off Simon until you went past him. When you made it downstairs Carl was staring in horror at the people in his home taking pretty much everything. “They’re taking all of our medicine,” Carl says. “We hid them here because they said they’d only take half,” Carl says while pulling away from you. “Carl-“ “No!” Carl yelled while grabbing a gun and going after them. “Carl DON’T-!” But it was too late.

A gunshot rang through the air causing you to jump. You quickly ran into the room and luckily everyone was okay, but Carl had a gun to one of Negan’s men. “Put them back, or the next one goes in you.” Carl threatens. “Kid… What do you think happens next?” The man laughed. “Carl.” You managed to get yourself in between the gun and the man and you were trying to calm him down. “Get out of the way.” “Carl don’t.” You warned. “Move.” “If you don’t put the gun down the punishment will be-“ You stopped yourself as you saw your dad running into the room, you knew Negan wasn’t too far behind so you kept your mouth shut.

Your father tried talking the same sense to Carl as Negan walked in. His eyes darted between the gun and you and he knew he had to intervene. Negan walked over to you both and stood next to you and got into Carl's line of sight. Negan chuckles. "Really kid?" He says with a smirk.

"You should go... Before you find out how dangerous we all are." Carl warns. You swallowed the lump in your throat and gave him a pleading look. "Well pardon me, young man, excuse the shit out of my goddamn French but... Did you just threaten me?" Negan asks. "Look I get threatening Davie here... But I can't have it, not him, not me-" "Carl just put it down-" "Don't be rude Rick we are having a conversation here." Your father and Negan argue back and forth. You continue to stare at Carl with pleading eyes as you knew if Carl pushed his limits or broke a rule no amount of begging would stop Negan... Not even for you. "Now boy... Where were we?" He asks.

"Oh yeah! Your giant man-sized balls. No threatening us. Listen I like you... I don't want to go hard proving a point here, especially in front of the lady here, and you don't want that. I said half your shit and half is what I say it is." Negan says in more of a more serious tone of voice. "I'm serious. Do you want me to prove how serious... Again?" Negan warns.

Carl stares at him then looks at you. You shook your head slightly and he sighed deeply. He moved his hand so the handle of the gun was facing you. Your trembling hands slowly grabbed the gun from his hands and held it to your side.

Negan turned to your father and started ranting to him and you grabbed Carl's shoulders. "What the hell is wrong with you?" You whisper to him. "They were taking our stuff," Carl argued. "You can always get that shit back! He'll kill you or someone else here and you can't get back." You hissed at him. "And you.." Negan turned to you both. You turned your head to him and saw him staring at you. He lifted his hand and wiggled his pointer and middle finger towards you telling you to give him the gun. You handed him the gun and he put it in his pocket.

"Rick go and get that stuff together for me will ya? And you... Come with me." He says while not moving his gaze from yours. You nodded and followed him out of the home. You followed him down the street and in between some houses. He then suddenly spun around and grabbed your arms softly. "I don't want you doing that shit again," Negan says sternly. "I knew he wasn't going to shoot me." You argued. Negan shook his head and sighed deeply. "I do not care. There is no damn reason for you to EVER stand in front of a gun. Ever." He says with a shake of his head. "Scared the hell out of me." He says while placing a kiss on your temple.

"I'm sorry.." You say with a frown. "Don't be sorry. I know you were trying to de-escalate the situation and I respect that... I just don't want you to get hurt." He says while cupping your face with his hands. "He's my brother. He wouldn't have hurt me." "I can't take that chance." He shakes his head. "I don't care if there's a 99% chance or a 0.01% chance. It's not an option." He says. “Understand?” He asks. You nodded and he smiled.

He kissed you on the cheek and pulled you in for a hug. You both stayed like that for a moment before Negan pulled away, giving you a tight squeeze before letting you move away from him. “Let’s go darlin’,” Negan says while lightly placing his hand on your lower back and leading you along.

You walked with Negan until you met up with your father and some of Negan’s men in front of a small bunker. The door to the bunker slowly opens to show a woman. “I… Figured you were coming.” She says nervously. “Show him where the guns are, Olivia.” Your father says. She nodded and you all walked inside. “You run the show in here?” Negan asks. “I just keep track of it all, the rations, the guns,” She explains. “Good. Smart. Don’t let me stop you. Arat, boys... Show ‘em the goods.” He smirks as everyone walks off. “Wait, wait, wait.” Negan stops your father.

“While they’re at it, I just want to point out to you that I’m not taking a scrap of your food. Slim pickin’s in here.” Negan says while pointing out the little to no food on the shelves. “And I can’t be the only one to notice that you got a fuckin’ fat lady in charge of keeping track of rations can I?” Negan says and you turn to him, “Negan.” You smack his arm and he puts his hands up. “Am I wrong?” He asks. “Yes. Don’t be an asshole.” You roll your eyes. He chuckles and slightly leans into Rick, “She keeps me on my toes.” Rick glares at him and he slightly leans back.

Negan looks at Rick, then at you, then at Rick again. “Y’know I just realized… We’re family now aren’t we?” You closed your eyes and cringed. “I mean… Should I call you dad or something?” Negan asks while slowly dragging his arm over your shoulder and pulling you close to his side.

Rick’s eyes flicked over to you and you swallowed another ball in your throat and you let out a deep sigh. “Right?” Negan asks. “Stop.” You whisper to him while giving him a pleading look. He wanted to keep going just to poke the bear some more but he didn’t want to continue if you were uncomfortable. He cared more for your feelings than his ego. “…Either way, you starve to death, I don’t get shit, so for now, you get to keep all the food. How ‘bout that?” Negan says, still keeping his arm around your shoulders.

Negan and Rick stare at each other for a few moments. A very awkward few moments. “What do you want me to say?” “I don’t know, Rick. How about a thank you.” Negan says while moving away from you and getting into your father’s face. “You think that might be in order? Or is that too much to ask?!” Negan yells. “Jesus stop!” You grab Negan’s arm and push him away from your father.

“Haven’t you done enough?” “All I’m asking for is a thank you.” You scoff. “I think we both know they have nothing to be thanking you for.” You shake your head at him before walking out of the bunker and down the streets of Alexandria. You stopped in front of Rick and Carl’s home and you sat on the steps, rethinking everything.

You placed your elbow on your knee and rested your forehead in your hand. You sat like that for a while before a familiar figure walked into your view. They stood there for a moment before slowly sitting next to you on the steps. “You angry with me?” He asks. You sigh and close your eyes. “What do you think?” You say with an annoyed tone of voice. “Why?” You turn to glare at him. “Why? Are you kidding me?” You say. “Is it because of Rick?” Negan asks. “Jesus no!” You yell. “…Well it doesn’t help.” You say while looking forward. “You know I don’t like being a part of this shit. I don’t like seeing this side of you... Especially since I know you did something bad to these people.” You say with your voice slightly cracking as tears filled in your eyes. You shake your head, not wanting to ask this question but you feel you have no choice.

“What did you do? I’m going to hear it from somebody so it might as well be from you.” He stares at you, he didn’t want you to find out. “I killed two of their people in front of them. One of them had a wife and she was sick. She witnessed it all… She didn’t make it.” Your mouth flew agape and your body tensed.

“Oh my god… And you expect a ‘thank you’ from these people!?” You stand on your feet and glare at him. “You say people are a resource and need to be protected but it’s all a lie!” You shout. “It’s not a lie.” He stands up to meet your level but instead, he just towers over you, making you feel inferior to him.

“People are a resource and need to be protected but rules need to be set and if they are broken there are punishments.” He argues. “And killing people in the answer?” You scoff. “You’re torturing these poor people and for what? Surviving?” “Killing off my men. That’s what.” He hisses while stepping forward and getting in your face. “Not like your men didn’t deserve it anyways. Most of them are criminals, rapists, or killers. But I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree does it?” You say while slowly looking at him up and down. Negan was seething, nobody spoke to him like this and he was getting pissed. “Watch your mouth.” “Or what? You’ll kill me?” You chuckled. “You don’t got the balls.” You hissed. It took all his might to not snap and lash out at you but he realized that it wouldn’t fix anything and you had every right to be angry.

But that doesn’t mean he won’t be any less angry with your words. “I have done everything for you. I have fought for you, I have killed for you, I put food in your belly and a roof over your head. I deserve goddamn respect.” He said in a low and threatening tone of voice. You shake your head. “I never asked you to save me.” You say, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“What did you expect me to do? Leave you there to die?” “You should’ve. It would’ve been easier for the both of us.” You snapped back. Negan leans back and stares at you in disbelief.

You didn’t mean what you said, you were thankful Negan saved your life. You remember the day he found you. You were in a gas station and you had been sitting there for about a day or two just waiting to die. Your face was pale and you were practically skin and bones. You were sitting in the backroom in the dark when you heard a roar of an engine and footsteps entering the building. You didn’t have the energy to get up and find them and your throat was too dry to call out for help, so you sat there until the door opened and the light of a flashlight crawled up your body and landed on your face. You cringed and looked away from the light. The person who was shining a light called a name and another pair of footsteps entered the room. That was when the person shining the light lowered it and you made eye contact with the man who walked in the room. “Holy shit... Are you alive?” He chuckled, getting closer to you.

His smile disappeared when he saw how sick you looked. He walked over to you and knelt at your level. “I’m Negan.” He says. You gave him a slightly confused look and Negan sighs. “Simon. Go get some water.” He orders while still staring down at you.

Simon quickly came back into the room with a water bottle and handed him the bottle. He opened it and he snaked his hand behind your neck and lifted you. You slightly groan as he pulls your head forward in front of the bottle. Your lips touched the bottle and slowly gulped down the water. If you weren’t so dehydrated there was a good chance you would’ve cried.

When you needed a break you moved your head back and leaned back against the wall. “Y/N.” You mumbled. “What?” Negan asks as you barely let out a whisper. “…My name is Y/N Grimes.” You say while shifting around. “How long have you been here?” Negan asks. “A couple of days…” You say before letting out a hoarse cough. Negan lifts the bottle back to your lips and you take a few more gulps. “Is there anyone else around here?” He asks. You shake your head, “No. I’ve been alone since the beginning of the apocalypse.” You explain. His eyes widen and he scoffs with a smirk. “No shit? Wow. Good for you for lasting so long.” He says with a wide smile.

“Yeah… It gets lonely though.” You say while lifting the corner of your lips to smile slightly. Negan stared at you for another minute before mumbling an ‘alright’ and closing the water bottle and handing it back to Simon. He stands up slightly and begins to put his hands under your knees and behind your back. “What… What are you doing?” You ask. “I’m going to take you back to my camp. We have a doctor and food and water..” He explains. “…Why? You don’t know me.” You ask. “People are a resource. They need to be protected… And you won't survive much longer if I leave you here.” He explains. You nodded and he continued to pick you up.

You groaned as your body ached. Your muscles were so tense from sitting there for so long that just a slight movement caused your whole body to ache in pain. “We’ll get you patched up... It’ll be okay.”

And here you are… Many months later arguing with the man who saved your life. He stared down at you and he clenched his jaw. You could see on his face he wasn’t angry anymore, he was hurt. You didn’t expect it to hurt him in all honesty because Negan has been told a lot worse than what you said. But it did hurt him... And he didn’t know what to do about it. He sighed and looked around for a moment. “Head over to the truck.. We’re going to be leaving in a few minutes.” Was the only thing he managed to get out. Without looking at you he walks down the steps of the porch and down the street.

You stifled a sob and wiped the tears that had fallen down your face. After you pulled yourself together you walked over to the truck and saw David in the face of a young girl. “Say please again, little girl.” He chuckles. The girl lets out a ‘please’ and he smirks. “Yeah. One more time.” He says while running his finger down her cheek.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You yell out as you storm over to him. His head shoots towards you and you shove him away from the girl. “Who do you think you are?” David asks as he gets in your face. “Someone who will gladly put some fucker out of their misery.” You snapped back. “Now piss off.” You hissed. He glared at you and tried to walk away but you stopped him. You put our hand out, telling him to give you the item the girl wanted. He grumbled something under his breath and shoved the item in your hand. David walked away and you turned to the girl. “I’m sorry that happened…” You whisper as you handed her back the balloons. You squeezed her shoulder before walking off and following the truck.

“Get in the truck Y/N. Me and daddy dearest here gotta talk.” Negan says without looking at you. You glared at him and you were about to oblige his orders and get in the truck but you stopped yourself. You turned on your heel and walked over to your father and swung your arms over his shoulders. You both hugged each other tightly before Carl found his way under your arm and hugged you and your father as well.

When you finally pulled away you rested one hand on your father’s shoulder and the other on the side of Carl’s face. You gave them a soft smile as tears filled in all of your eyes. “I’ll be back. I promise.” You say in a low tone of voice as you run your thumb over Carl’s cheek to wipe away the tear that fell from his eye.

You give them another small smile before turning and walking away. Negan watched you closely as you walked past him, wiping your tears in the process. You sat in the van and stared down at the ground, trying not to cry anymore in the process. During the minutes of you sitting there, you looked over and saw Negan taunting your father. You balled your fists up and sighed in annoyance. You wanted to get out of the car and yell at Negan but you didn’t have the energy. You heard Negan chuckle as finally peeled himself away from your father and he got in the van next to you, Lucille in his hands. You looked down at your hands and furrowed your eyebrows. You didn’t want to even look at Negan... But you knew he was looking at you.

He made occasional glances at you in an obvious manner. He wanted your attention and in all honesty, he wanted you to feel slightly bad for what you said to him. But you never looked at him. Not even when you made it to the sanctuary and walked past him to get inside.

You ignored everybody and headed to your shared bedroom. When you finally made it to the bedroom that’s when you realized that the sun was setting and you sighed in relief. You were exhausted and you wanted nothing more than to fall into your bed and sleep the day away. You sat on the edge of the bed and buried your face in your hands. You sat for a while until you heard your bedroom door opening and closing. You glance up and saw Negan leaning against the doorframe and staring at you.

You wipe the tears that had fallen from your eyes and look to the side. Negan stares at you for a few more seconds before sighing and lightly smiling to himself, clearly thinking of a memory.

“Y’know… I remember the first time I saw you.” He says. “You were so frail and sick looking.” He says while slowly walking towards you. “I was worried if I touched you, you would shatter like a piece of glass.” He continues walking towards you. You look up at up and look at him through your hair. “But I knew you were a fighter. And even if I had left you there you would’ve fought yourself back to survival.” He says while kneeling in front of you. “Who would’ve thought you would fight yourself into my heart.” He says with a soft smile and gently tucking your hair behind your ear.

You look down at him with tears in your eyes and a frown on your face. “There’s no way I could’ve left you there because..” He sighs before continuing. “I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.” He says while resting his hand against your cheek and wiping the tears that had fallen.

“Look… You and I are not easy people to deal with. And together it’s even more difficult... But I wouldn’t change a thing.” He says while shaking his head, a soft smile on his lips. A small cry came out of my mouth and I close my eyes, "I-I didn't mean what I said... I didn't... I'm glad you found me I...* You say, your words stuttering a bit. "I know... I know baby..." Negan whispered while moving his hand up to wipe the tears off your cheeks.

"I just... I hate seeing this side of you, and knowing you're doing this to my family..." You say before taking a deep and shaky breath. "It hurts..." You mutter, just barely over a whisper. Negan frowns, "I know... But I have to be cruel to keep them in line." Negan says. You shake my head, "No... No, you don't." You say. Negan sighs, "Baby. Listen to me." Negan says while grabbing your cheeks between his hands, "I promise you... I won't hurt your family. I take my promises seriously and you know that." Negan says.

You nod and sniffle, "...Okay." I mumble. "Alright... Now come here...* Negan says while putting his arms out to you. You get off the bed and onto the floor in front of him and hug his torso tightly. He hugs you back tightly and lovingly. Negan would keep his promise... He wouldn't hurt your family, but everyone else in Alexandria was up for grabs... One thing Negan knew how to do...

Was how to manipulate.

PART 2

[dr-spectre]

Hello everyone, I got some announcements to share and some plans for the future of this blog now that the Grand Fest is over and the news drought begins.

(LONG POST AHEAD!!!!)

I think going forward I'm gonna change how I approach myself acting online and be less "OH MY GOD HOLY SHITENWIOEDISIWIEOE GUYYS!!!"

Because to be honest with you all... I've been feeling very self conscious about the way that I've been acting online and I feel like I gotta channel my passion for Splatoon in a much more healthy and less EXTREMEEEEE way.

I am aware that um.... people have blocked me... and you know, that's to be expected of course when you are online and you're slowly building a following. Still really stings, though, and I think it's due to the fact that sometimes I can be sorta- "This is what happened, and if you disagree with me, you're an idiot and you're wrong!!!!!" When I make posts. And I don't wanna do that, and I don't want to come off as a gatekeeping fan that thinks lower of other people who might not know my stances very well. I wanna educate people and present my stuff as more of "Hey guys, this is what I think actually happened in this event. Feel free to take a look! I think this is really cool and I wonder what you guys think of this perspective that i have?"

And sometimes I can be pretty loud mouthed and stuff and I have talked shit towards certain characters. I remember one time I made a post where I said "what the fuck is wrong with Marie?" And said some stuff... I probably rubbed a lot of people the wrong way with that post... and other posts. I'm so sorry if I have made some of you upset in the past or have said some awful things about your favourite characters in the series...

As you guys probably know, I am passionate about Hypno Callie and I have very strong stances and opinions on her. And that leads to me get a bit... out of control. Callie is my biggest comfort character and to see certain people try and push this vile and disgusting event that happened to her... that she was kidnapped by Octavio and the Octarians when she was alone, and that he brainwashed her and forcibly put the shades on her, or he tricked her and he removed her memories too...

and I try to see the same event in a completely different lens... I see it as more of Octavio manipulating her in a more subtle way and due to Callie's poor mental state and desperation, she heard him out. Octavio used the shades as a way to control her more easily but he doesnt have full direct control over her because her influence helped motivate the Octarians. Octavio still wanted Callie to be... well... Callie. Plus, Callie was more than willing to help the Octarians as well, as she thinks they are cute. I do have evidence to back it up as well as articles and definitions explaining how hypnosis actually works and its limitations.

But this perspective gets compromised and put into question in my head when people keep pushing and pushing and PUSHING the other thing. Then it feels like I have to yell and get mad.... I've seen it as recently as when Blushing Tide came out and I looked at the YouTube comment section on one of the uploads and I just kept seeing people say "oh it's like Tidal Rush but without the brainwashing" or some shit like that idk. I dont remember it well but i know I saw the word floating around. (Don't look at YouTube comment sections. You won't get anything of value from them.)

Anyways, I also wanna cut back on swearing too because sometimes I border on being a hazbin hotel character and I DO NOT want myself to get to that level LMAO!

So what shall I be doing now that Splatoon 3 is officially wrapped up? Well... I wanna do more creative projects and fun stuff like that. I got good reception from my haikus for the Grand Fest and I think doing more stuff like that sounds really really fun!!! And it might actually give me a reason to finish stuff as well lol...

Like I have a God damn Splatoon 2 hero mode finale rewrite that's nearly done and it's been sitting on my Google docs since JULY!!!! I have also made plans to do a fan sequel to the Squid Sisters Stories that takes place in between Splatoon 2 and 3 because that time frame for the Squid Sisters has been barely touched upon. I'm also doing a personal project where it's basically what I want to see out of a Splatoon 4 and I've been really enjoying making that. I dont know if I would ever share it but... it's something to do for me at least.

I also wanna involve myself in the community more, I received an ask where someone said (I forgot who asked I'm so sorry) if I could do a thing where I receive Splatoon OCs and critique them. That sounds really fun!!!

Maybe i can do photo mode competitions or showcases!!! Where I choose a theme (Callie, water, Splatsville, etc) and people submit their photos and I critique them and showcase them to everyone!!! Does that sound like something people would be interested in?! I would love to know as virtual photography is a hobby I love to partake in and I wanna encourage more people to try it!

There is also other stuff i can do like going over the Idols outfits and rating them, but I don't have the motivation to do that at the moment and I know it's not gonna be as in-depth as the one I did for Callie.

Anyhow, that's basically what I have so far. I think im gonna slow down on posting and I'm gonna chill out. Or at least I'll try to chill out.

I've just been feeling incredibly guilty and kinda... sad that I've been acting in a certain way for a while. And I really wanna change that. I dont like making people upset and I don't wanna be the kind of Splatoon fan that puts down others who don't even know any better and don't know who I am....

But enough being sad, I wanna focus on the present and make sure that my future on here is bright!!!

[campbyler]

our chapters average at 27,000 words, the total fic length is already 3x the average novel length, and we lost one of the authors working on this fic. it must be so nice to only have to endure the wait for a chapter to be uploaded so that you can interact with it rather than being the one to actually write it.

im going to be cruel (no pun intended) to be kind: this is such an intense externalisation of blame. you are the ones in control of the fic length; the chapters could handle some heavy editing and it wouldnt make them any less wonderful (such as regarding the descriptions of mike and will's internal thoughts, not the action between the characters themselves). fic is free and its a gift to be able to read works that inspire our hearts and minds while we wait for the show, but then again, when at the stern of a juggernaut work such as this, one that will inevitably have many followers chomping at the bit on tumblr as well as ao3 (as you designed it to have!), you surely must be aware of something that only usually exists in professional marketing spaces involving customers + brand IP: the relationship between consumer and creator, and what they can give each other.

not 'owe each other' - nothing is owed, except perhaps basic human kindness. fans want your work, and its free, so we should be grateful; likewise, you want readers, feedback and clicks, and that should be free, too. but in order for this to work smoothly, there has to be fair give and take. i mean, if you wanted to monetize the fic i'm sure many people would pay to read it, but thats beside the point here.

what fans of this fic simply want is the same honesty and self-awareness from you that they might expect from any artist who has embarked on such am ambitious project. and this doesnt just mean transparency about potential uploading dates (which is already much appreciated by the majority!), or notifications about how hard it is to balance work and life (something most people on the planet struggle with). it means total honesty and hard answers. people like to know where they stand. plenty of writers (both professional and fan alike) abandon works for months, years at a time, and if the work is THAT good, people will always be thrilled to see a return. it's the mucking people about that is what destroys relationships - no matter how good your reasons are.

your fic is wonderful and very, very memorable. you could take a big, undefined hiatus and people would, im sure, return, including me. seeing you admit that you have been prioritizing this fic over your mental health does not inspire confidence either, or even comfort - do i want to read something that has caused the creator such harm?

i think everything about this process would be happier for everyone if you set boundaries that work for you and didn't place blame elsewhere. after all, as you said, it's just a fanfic. it doesnt matter if you don't finish it. it doesnt matter if it takes all the way to s5 for 10.2 to release. everyone would, though, appreciate you taking a stance and being consistent (and therefore fair) to both yourselves and the readers.

please feel free to not post this publicly or do as you wish with it.

hello! thank you for your feedback and for sharing it in a way that is both kind and respectful. you make many valid points that i agree with -- we are in control of the word counts and could stand to edit down more, and we do recognize where being transparent about the reasons behind the chapter delays might not inspire confidence or comfort. i do, however, think that isolating one response/chain of responses to a particular ask is a little unfair, so i'd like to provide additional context.

i do not think that it's fair to say that we haven't been honest, self-aware, or fair, because we have been incredibly transparent throughout the entire run of the fic (over a year) about our writing process. just last month suni said she hadn't been working on 10.2 at all because abby had been visiting her house, and readily took ownership of that fact. there was a 4-month wait between chapters 9.1 and 9.2, and i was very open about the fact that i simply needed a break for at least the first of those months because i didn't want to write it. we have continued to maintain several times that we are not abandoning the fic, even if it takes longer between chapters, and have tried to stay as active as possible on the blog because we know that seeing us interact with asks Does inspire confidence. if you just scroll down and see how we have answered other asks inquiring about the upload, we responded kindly and respectfully.

what you interpreted as externalization of blame in that one (1!) ask response was me trying to provide perspective to someone who clearly lacked it. we understand that people will be frustrated about chapter delays, especially if we keep pushing them back, and this is also something that we have received feedback about before and tried to implement; however, it is also a double-edged sword where if we don't give an estimated upload, people get upset, or we give an estimated upload that we think is completely reasonable for us to achieve and then hurdles get in the way, whether it's writer's block or work or time with friends. i absolutely get the frustration on the receiving end, but something i have learned from being in this fandom for two years is that a pretty big majority of those who are interacting with fanworks are not creating it themselves, hence why my response -- while snippy and annoyed, because i was matching the energy, and will not apologize for that -- was contextualizing the whys behind the chapter delay: the chapters are long, the fic is long, we are down one entire body from where we started. the intention was not to shuck blame off of ourselves, but i get that intentions don't always translate into effect, so it's understandable that it was received differently.

we don't always respond to things perfectly. when we have a million and one asks inquiring about the next upload, one stray one that comes off the wrong way is likely going to set us off, because we are people, and this is not a job. we have set a boundary by disabling anon, and again, i cannot stress enough how much i appreciate that you've come to us with this feedback off-anon and with respect and decency. i get where you are coming from and again, agree with a lot of your points.

the only other thing i want to make clear is that this fic, no matter how much attention its garnered, should not be treated as a creator/consumer relationship that mirrors anything where the exchange of money is involved. not only is it unfair to apply this standard to fanworks, where it is illegal to monetize such content, but the entire purpose of fanworks is to celebrate what you are a fan of together. when you apply expectations on either end -- i am a fan of this work, therefore, people should create timely content for it; i am creating this fanwork, therefore, people should interact with it -- defeats the entire nature of fan-created work as a whole. while we have continued to be vocally grateful for the love and support our fic has been shown, we both maintain that we would continue writing and continue uploading even if we were getting less than half of the amount of interaction that we do. it's nice to have interaction, but not necessary, because we what write and post is done because we love it, and it's shared so that we can look back on it, so our friends can enjoy it, and anyone else who might want to. we are, of course, excited to share that world with anyone who cares -- we created the blog and the promo because we wanted to share it -- but that does not mean that the relationship between us and our readers should have expectations. we are all creating and enjoying this work for free for the sake of love for the characters, as the star trek obsessed housewives of the 60s (and the law) have intended.

i feel like this response is a bit jumbled so i apologize if anything isn't clear or hard to understand. thank you again for your time!

[delucadarlingwriting]

Vampire Divorce Court - Domesticated Goose Chase

Does anyone remember plotbunnies? I feel like I'm dealing with a herd of them lately, all dragging me in different directions. I've finally managed to ignore most of them to finish this part. Also, I didn't intend for any of these 'chapters' to be longer than 2k words, but this one got hefty. That's one reason I ended up needing to cut it in half, but also because then I get an excuse to make the next part some Adam/Farah fluff <3

Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

Summary: Barbie's good at her job. She's just really, really bad at people.

Word Count: 3,791

First | Previous | Part 10 | Next

***

Book 1, Wayhaven, A few miles into the woods

“So, you must be from…the 1700s,” Kira says. Barbie blinks, jerking her head up from the map in her hands to stare at her new friend.

“Not even remotely close,” Barbie says with a laugh. “What makes you think that?”

“1800s?” Kira asks.

Despite the two or so hours they’ve been hiking through the dense foliage of protected land surrounding the town of Wayhaven, Kira’s showing no sign of being tired. At worst, she’s a bit flushed, and even that can be attributed to the brisk wind blowing through periodically. She is, as ever, perky and bright and potentially a bit bored now if she’s to the point of interrogating Barbie on her ages.

Barbie presses down on a smile and shakes hear head. “Kira, honestly. I’m not that old.”

“I just assumed, given the lack of GPS,” Kira says with a cheeky shrug.

Barbie laughs again, this time loud enough that Nat and Mason glance back at them. She gives them no mind though, and especially not Mason, regardless of how annoyed he is at every reminder that she’s still there. It’s his own fault for not saying anything when Adam paired himself with Farah to keep an eye on them from a distance. Allegedly to ensure no one gets the drop on their party. Neither of them have been close enough to see for almost an hour now.

“I am perfectly capable of using technology,” Barbie says, slyly adding, “Not all of us struggle so severely with it.”

Nat gives a quiet huff ahead that has Kira covering her mouth to stop a giggle from coming out. Eyes shining, Kira points to the compass in Barbie’s other hand.

“Okay, so why this set up then?”

Barbie carefully adjusts her hold on the map in her hand, doing her best to not damage the yellowed paper.

“For one, knowing how to navigate without computers is an excellent skill to have and keep sharp,” Barbie says. Kira nods along. “For another, this map is from somewhere in the 60s and hasn’t been uploaded to Wayhaven’s digital database. Which, the online database is a mess by the way. Someone really ought to sort it out.”

“You have access to the database?” Kira asks with a disbelieving sputter. Barbie nods.

“Part of the Agency partnering with the local authorities, of course.”

“Of course,” Kira mutters. With sigh, she asks, “Alright, so then who’s older, you or the map?”

Fond as she is of the detective, Barbie still pretends to check the map for something to but a little time before she has to respond. Most of Kira’s questions to this point have hit Barbie in something of a tender emotional area. She hasn’t had to talk about or think so deeply on her condition before now, not really. Mostly she does her best to pretend she’s still human. Over their time together these past few days though, Barbie finds Kira’s curiosity charming more than grating. Enough so that the actual discomfort is minimal.

Still, Kira has gotten very bold with her nosiness, so Barbie gives her her best withering look. Kira holds her hands up.

“I can’t help it, I want to know everything!” Kira says. A burst of fondness rushes through Barbie’s chest; had she not been exactly the same when she was a young 20-something? Learning about the supernatural world had been the greatest thing to ever happen to her back then. It’s why she left everything else behind to join the Agency, even though they’d been so damned reluctant. Probably mostly because of the repeated trespassing.

“I suppose it can’t be helped,” Barbie grimaces. “Not after the comment you made about my vintage clothing.”

It’s Barbie’s own fault for falling so far out of style. With her looking the way she does now though, she doesn’t much enjoy venturing out amongst humans. She hasn’t been shopping for new clothes before today in probably…30 years? She’s meticulous with her clothing care, so it’s hardly as if she needs new clothes very often, much as she used to absolutely adore shopping.

Kira’s cheek go apple red and she stammers out, “I—I’m still really sorry about that. I love vintage clothing, my clothes are mostly Edwardian inspired but around here that’s very strange so when I saw someone else who might have my same hobby—”

Barbie shifts the compass and map to one hand so she can give Kira’s shoulder a squeeze.

“I am teasing you,” Barbie assures her. “In a friendly way.”

“Right, of course.” Kira runs a hand over her hair.

“Fucks’ sake,” Mason snaps, turning to approach with a glare. “Can you focus on the fucking mission for once? I’d like to get this done and over with.”

“I am currently navigating us,” Barbie says, nose wrinkled as she waves the map at him. “It’s not as if you’re doing anything productive, unless you count stomping around like a maniac.”

In a flash, Nat is there, seamlessly sliding herself between them. Her presence alone gets Mason to take a half step away, and the look she gives him seems to convey some sort of message that gets him to lower his hackles.

To Barbie, she asks, “Are you certain this is the way to Murphy’s base? We’ve been at this for quite some time without seeing much.”

Barbie pauses to consider her answer carefully, as this was the question she was hoping no one would ask. Being known as a bit of an investigative genius usually does a lot for her ability to work without being questioned. Having not worked with Unit Bravo in such a long time has clearly deteriorated their faith in her abilities though. As much as it makes sense, she still resents that this particular doubt has come from Nat, and in front of Mason no less.

There’s nothing for it, she has to answer.

“I heavily suspect so,” she replies. It is, unfortunately, the most honest answer she can give, as well as the only one she can risk with Mason staring at her.

Nat’s eyes fall shut and she takes in a quiet breath. On the exhale, she opens her eyes with a pleading look.

“What do you mean by heavily suspect?” Nat asks. Mason growls with irritation, stomps closer, and snatches the map right out of Barbie’s hand. She squawks indignantly.

“Be careful with that! It’s very old, and I need to return it in perfect condition so no one knows I took it!” Barbie shouts. Kira gives Barbie a look of exasperation.

“You stole city property?” Kira asks, hands on her hips. Her eyebrows draw close together, mouth set in a shallow frown. Then, one eyebrow lifts incredulously. “How exactly would they know you took it?”

“Well, I signed in before going into the records office, of course,” Barbie says, waving her off. Kira lets out a short, amused laugh and shakes her head, making the long strawberry blonde rope of hair braided down her back swing back and forth.

By this point Mason is done poring over the map and tosses it back at her. Barbie scrambles, just barely catching it. He turns to Nat and says, “There’s no buildings within 15 miles. Waste of fucking time.”

“Oh Barbie,” Nat mutters. Barbie’s cheeks warm.

“I know what I’m doing,” she insists. “Even if there’s no building on this map, that doesn’t mean there isn’t something there. I have a very good feeling about this area. All my research has given a strong impression that there’s a building or hub of some sort out here.”

Nat and Mason share a look that she doesn’t like one bit. With care, Nat says, “Perhaps we’d be better off returning to town for now and doing a bit more research before—”

“I’m not going back,” Barbie snaps, furious. There is little she hates more than being treated like an idiot. “If you want to go, then go. I don’t need any of you to do my job.”

“You don’t seem to need anyone,” Mason says, crossing his arms and leaning against a tree trunk.

He’s right. Absolutely right. Barbie doesn’t need anyone, particularly him. Despite the truth in his words, she’s still pretty ticked off about it.

“Always a smart ass comment, never a smart solution,” Barbie shoots back. He growls, baring his teeth, but no fang. Kira gets between them, blocking her view of her…of Mason.

Kira brushes her fingertips down Nat’s sleeve, just briefly, before dropping her hand back to her side. Nat startles at the touch, her eyes wide, throat working. Barbie doesn’t remember Nat ever being quite so touch averse. Then again, things happen even when one isn’t around to witness them. Perhaps Nat’s gone through some sort of ordeal again. Like when that gorgon dumped her the week of Valentine’s day.

Kira says, “I’d like to see this through. Barbie’s been working on this for a while. Even if she doesn’t have concrete proof, I think she’s probably onto something. Besides, I’ve grown up here my whole life and I still find places I’ve never seen before.”

Nat chews her lip, no doubt unsure of making such a call without Adam there to hold her hand. As if she can hear the thought, Nat glances to Barbie, which makes her feel immediately ashamed. Even if she’s horribly irate today, that’s no reason to bite Nat’s head off about it. Nat is lovely, even if her team could use a bit of polish.

Taking a steadying breath that somehow makes her feel lightheaded, Barbie says, “I truly have no problem pursuing this on my own. If I find something, I’ll call and mark it on the map for the team.”

“And if you find the rogue?” Mason asks. Barbie presses her lips into a hard line, her heart giving a weak jolt. It’s a possibility she has been willfully ignoring thus far.

“That would be...less than ideal,” Barbie says, but offers no real plan of action for that potential situation. Mostly because she has no idea what she’d do. Experience says she’d likely freeze up on the spot, but the optimist in her hopes she’d at least attempt to run away, for all the good it would do her.

Fear settles in her chest, but even so, she finds her desire to prove her theory on the rogue dubbed Murphy’s hideout. What he’s doing to people would require him to have some sort of steady base where he’s storing his equipment and a source of electricity. Anywhere like that would maybe even has his notes on what procedure he’s attempting.

“So you’re looking to get yourself killed,” Mason accuses.

Barbie’s fingers tighten on the map and she frowns deeply. Much as she hates her life every single second of every single day, rarely has she considered ending it. The very thought terrifies her. Besides, her brother would be left alone at that point, and she can hardly excuse doing that now.

“Kira’s right,” Nat says at long last. She smiles down at their dear detective. “It’s worth trying. We lose nothing either way.”

“Exactly,” Kira says happily, her pulse beating just a bit faster as she and Nat share a long look. It’s really lovely to meet someone as friendly as Kira. It’s also lovely to have someone on her side when Unit Bravo seems so primed to be against her. “Okay Babs, where to?”

She turns around and holds the map up so Kira and Nat can see it over her shoulder. Though she didn’t dare use pencil on the old paper, she traces the mental line she had drawn of their path with the tip of a fingernail.

“This way,” she says. Kira hums.

“But where exactly are we heading?” she asks. Barbie curves the line she’s drawing, bringing it around in a slow loop before tapping on the spot where Murphy is most likely hiding. Kira gives her a questioning look and says, “We’ve already passed that.”

“Yes but…” Barbie trails off, suddenly choked up by the realization that they all think she’s messed this whole thing up. They must think she’s an idiot, and a stubborn one at that.

It’s true that the path she’s chosen is massively inefficient. They’ll end up hiking nearly an hour longer than if they take the straightforward path. She has no evidence or reason to continue going around the suspected base other than this deep, gut feeling she has. It’s bad enough that she also has no evidence or reason to believe the base will be where she says it will be.

Gut feelings and instincts aren’t Barbie’s strong point. She can’t trust her own first reaction to most things, as her knee jerk reaction is almost always an illogical one. Freeze in place when threatened with danger. Faint at the sight of blood. Lash out and isolate herself during the hardest transition period of her ever elongating life.

Trying to ask the three of them to put their trust in her to go out to this area is already pushing her luck. She knows she won’t win them over on taking the illogical path as well. So she gives that one up. Her eyelid twitches.

“Of course. That makes sense. We’ll take the shorter route,” Barbie grits out.

She can’t quite bring herself to relinquish the map, but Kira doesn’t need one to lead the way. It’s clear in the way she moves through the foliage and barely-there paths that she’s familiar with every rock, tree, and bush they pass. She seems so entirely at ease that Barbie feels a sharp stab of jealousy; has she ever felt so comfortable? So certain in both herself and others’ belief in her?

Well, perhaps in herself. Barbie can hardly help thinking she’s often right.

As they grow closer, Barbie’s chest feels tighter. Her heart picks up it’s pace and her limbs feel shaky. She’s reminded entirely of the way she feels when she knows she’ll have to drink soon, an unpleasant reminder that only makes the tumultuous feelings bubbling up inside her all the worse.

“Are you alright, Barbie?” Nat asks. Barbie pulls her new hiking jacket more securely around herself and scowls. Worse than feeling like this is having anyone else notice or, God forbid, comment on it. She already hates being seen like this, let alone inspected.

“I am fine,” she says, hearing the robot way it comes out with no ability to change it. Kira glances over her shoulder, slowing.

“Do we need to stop?” Kira asks with so much concern it makes Barbie want to fold herself up and get stuffed into an envelope.

“No, I am fine.”

Mason snorts. “What, being told you’re wrong sending you into some kind of shock?”

“Of course not,” Barbie says, attempting to sound unbothered, just as she has since she arrived. Her facade is slipping more and more with each attempt though. “I’m more than aware that I am…wrong about things, at least as much as any other person.”

Mason’s grin both irritates and excites her. “All said without gagging or anything. Good job, sw—”

“Would you shut up?” she snaps. There’s pressure in her gums, around her canines, so she grits her teeth to try and hold back the fangs that desperately want to show. Even after such a long time bearing this existence, she hasn’t managed to gain the control she should have over her own body, and it’s always horribly embarrassing to be caught with her fangs out. It doesn’t help that her stomach is starting to ache with hunger.

Perhaps this is why she’s feeling so odd. It may be that ignoring her body’s signals is easier in the comfortable, familiar environment of the archives. Out here, everything prickles.

Nat presses her mouth into a hard line, then turns and says, “Mason, perhaps you can drop back a bit and take up the rear?”

Shockingly, he does so, letting Barbie step past him without commentary. Probably he’s delighted to be left alone, where he doesn’t have to so much as pretend to care for anyone but himself. Perhaps that’s why he was picking a fight with her, hoping Nat would separate him from the rest of them. She wouldn’t put it past him.

Her irritation distracts her for a while as they walk, kept well fed by the feeling of Mason’s eyes boring through her head. Eventually though, that odd not-right sensation from before returns with a vengeance. She hesitates, glancing in the direction of the path she’d wanted to take, where the not-right feeling didn’t exist.

“So,” Nat says brightly, her voice reminding Barbie to keep up. There’s no point in her going down any other path than the one the team has decided to follow. Despite her earlier declaration, Barbie doesn’t actually fancy getting lost out here alone, even if she’s technically one of the scarier things in the forest. Barring every other vampire within a 50 mile radius, of course.

Kira glances her way (which is a bit to the left and quite a lot up) and says, “So?”

“So how is your fiancée doing? Bobby, right?” Nat asks. Kira’s cheerful expression dims ever so slightly.

“Right, um. She’s doing well,” Kira says with a bit too much effort. Turning to look ahead for the right direction, she adds, “We haven’t spent much time together since I got back from the Agency.”

Nat hums. “Yes, I imagine we’re keeping you too busy.”

“I guess so,” Kira says with a shrug. “It’s also partially because she’s too nosy for her own good. If I spend more than five minutes with her she starts badgering me for information on you, the investigation, the victims…”

“Ah.” Nat’s expression twists into something sorrowful. “That must be very hard. You shouldn’t have to hide such things from the one you love most.”

“This way,” Kira says sharply, jamming a finger ahead. “Just down this slope.”

Slightly hidden by some unruly blackberry brambles is a narrow decline down to the forest roughly 15 meters below, and not far from their destination. There are rocks of various sizes, from basketball to Kira’s car sized. The ground is uneven, mostly held together by tangled tree roots and a prayer. There are plenty of flat, foot sized spots that create a horrible staircase downward. Barbie sways very slightly on her feet and has to look away.

Nat looks down. “Hm. It’s a bit damp.”

“Damp is hardly the worst part of this,” Barbie says, unable to even feign a hint of enthusiasm. Kira waves them both off.

“Oh you’ll be fine, you’ve all got way longer legs than me. You can probably just go from step to step, while I’ll have to shimmy down the rocks.” She says this with a bright smile, as if she’s actually quite looking forward to the climb. Barbie is desperately fascinated by their detective, but there is undeniably something wrong with her.

Nat steps up, brows creased. She reaches out as if to touch Kira’s shoulder, but doesn’t. Oddly, she simply hovers her hand over her shoulder instead. Kira reacts just the same as if Nat has touched her though, glancing all the way up at her with a questioning look.

“I think I should go first,” Nat says, then gives a soft, smooth smile. The same one that usually leads to her getting whatever it is she’s asking for. Her brown eyes sparkle with warmth. “Just to be safe.”

Kira steps aside, gesturing for her to go ahead. “Alright, I’ll follow you then.”

Nat’s smile falters for the barest second before she steps past them to lead the way.

“And I’ll follow you,” Barbie says, giving the path a nervous look. Sure, even if she does fall from this height she’ll be just fine. It won’t kill her, not even close. That doesn’t make her any less wary of pain. She’d thought, back when she first turned, that her fear of pain and injury might fade over time. After all, Unit Bravo never seemed to let such things deter them when she worked with them. But no, she still winces and flinches at even the barest hint of pain or danger. It seems they are simply very different creatures than she.

Kira reaches a hand out, palm up. Mystified, Barbie tentatively places hers on top of it, blinking as Kira laces their fingers together.

“I’ve got you,” Kira promises.

Brave Kira. So delicately human, but so unafraid. So sure of herself. Barbie can’t help a smile.

“That reassures me a little,” she admits. Kira gives her hand a squeeze.

They proceed that way, with Nat in front, the Kira and Barbie, and just behind them Mason. He drops carelessly from step to step with his hands deep in his jacket pockets. Despite how he lumbers around, Mason is actually quite nimble. He’ll certainly be bored waiting for the rest of them to tiptoe their way down.

The next step is quite steep, far enough down that Barbie hesitates to let herself down. Kira smiles up and holds her hand out again.

“You can lean on me,” Kira says, encouragingly. Barbie has to remind herself not to bite off her lipstick. Nat turns, blanching.

“Perhaps I should help,” Nat says, walking back up toward them. Kira looks over her shoulder at the other woman, a scowl threatening to show on her face.

“It’s fine,” Kira assures her.

Barbie, embarrassed and upset. Undeterred, Natalie, it’s fine.”

She can handle being given a hand down, for fuck’s sake. It’s like they all think she’ll black out and go insane with bloodlust from simple proximity. Foolishness.

Undeterred, Nat hurries as Barbie borrows Kira’s strength to step down. As Barbie’s new boots find solid ground, Nat jumps up onto a nearby boulder, green with moss. Very slick moss.

Kira’s eyes widen. She releases Barbie and turns toward the other vampire. “Nat—”

Nat seems to realize her error just a moment after Kira, her shoe slipping and sending her off kilter. Knowing she’ll be fine, Barbie doesn’t move at all to help. Unfortunately, Kira’s all-too-human instinct to help kicks in, and she jumps down to the next stone, her hands striking out to fist in the front of Nat’s leather jacket.

For a moment, it seems that Kira’s efforts will pay off. Her shoes slide forward as Nat manages to keep her balance long enough to grasp at a low hanging branch near Kira’s shoulder. For a moment, they hang there, barely more than their toes holding them in place.

The branch snaps.

Kira and Nat disappear.

[manonamora-if]

De Zomer van Vertalingen

Hoi allemaal,

Welcome to my summer project~!

What's that about?

De Zomer van Vertalingen is a summer-long project all about translations (literally The Summer of Translations), during which I intend to release translations of my games - specifically in Dutch.

From June through August, I will be uploading each week either an update of a previously released short game to include the new translation(s*) OR release a new short game that will include a Dutch translation (Neo-Twinies!) OR (and that's if I'm really confident) create a short story starting with Dutch first before translating it in English/French**. *Yes so... there are a couple of games written in French or English only. In that case, it's a double translation: Dutch + French/English (which ever is missing). **because I know Dutch as such little reach compared to those two languages...

What's that for?

My main reason is that I need to improve my Dutch for personal reasons asap, and this was the best way I could think of when it came to writing skills. I get to learn new words, practice my sentence structures, and maybe have some half-decent writing to show off in the future.

Another big one is that... I've been in a big funk since pretty much last summer. I think you've probably all noticed that, aside for a random game or template update, I've been pretty quiet on that front*. It's been a stressful and difficult period, and it's affected my creativity and motivation to write**. None of my usual tricks have been working so far, and this is pretty much my last resort to jump-start it all. *even about Svipul and a mini French parser. It's been out, under the radar. I legit don't remember making those. *or even code... see Harcourt being 6 months late...

A couple of other reasons: I've found some typos and small issues that need to be corrected; I am in the process of archiving games/releasing source codes (related to previous); There're actually really few IF games in Dutch (IFDB/itch.io); A few of my games need a QoL update or two; Hoping to find some inspiration from revisiting older works; Shamelessly doing a little bit of promotion for myself too; And... why not for the fun of it?

What to expect?

As I said above, weekly (re)release of a short game.

Short games (as in under 1000 words), because translating long games seems neverending* and I don't want to quit before I even start; but most importantly MelS is my guinea-pig the kind soul who'll go through that mess and there's only so much I can put him through**... So, that means games like Collision or Dévoiement or Intersigne will definitely appear on the list. *I've done that for Meeting the Parents, DOL-OS and Les lettres du Docteur Jeangille, and I wanted to pull my hair out. **and also I'm asking a lot of his free time...

And new works too. The Neo-Twiny Jam (@neointeractives) and the Nouvim3000 (French) are just around the corner, and I already got a couple of ideas to play with (some planned for previous jams, but never completed). So, I'm hoping for one or two to come out*. *at least one for NTJ, since it's for a good cause.

Maybe (that's that's a big asterisk maybe) I manage the impossible and writing something in Dutch from scratch.

So that will be (hopefully) 13 releases throughout the summer.

As per my planning (because, yes, I've done some), I have about 10-or-so short games which can be easily (heh) translated/fixed. That gives me 3 slots to fit at least the Neo-Twiny and the Nouvim, maybe even the Single Choice Jam.

And then, what?

Back to regular programming, dusting off my WIPs and actually complete them. For real this time. Like actually not putting them off anymore. I even have a Roadmap for it. Probably finishing Exquisite Cadaver first since it's completely mapped out and the smallest.

And then, we'll see :)

[11queensupreme11]

How did you find/make your aesthetic profiles of the gods in your book?

i was gonna link you to my guide that i posted a long time ago, but i realized how old it was and that it was lacking some details...... 💀

so i'm gonna do a new one that hopefully helps a bit more!!!!

websites used: pinterest, tumblr, canva, deviantart, & photopea!

first off, i find the pictures from sites like pinterest and tumblr. the color schemes of each pic need to be somewhat close to each other (but it doesn't always have to be like that depending on the psd you'll be using later on)

i'm gonna use hades for example. this is the first pic i find of him lol:

the most dominant color here is purple, with some tinted ivory from his skin, and brown in the background, so the next few pics i find should have somewhat similar colors too, or they should at least be purple cuz it's the most frequent color here

here are the next few photos i found:

they don't look perfect, but we can always individually tweak the colors and shades later

i download the photos and then i go to canva. the site provides you with templates that you can use but since i only got three pics, i chose the "email header" option.

(for those wondering which template i used for the bigger ones you see in the first chapter with percy and the yans, i don't use a template. i just use "custom size" and type in "800 x 800 px")

go to the sidebar, click "elements" then scroll down for "grids" and then find the one with 3 parts. i reduced the spacing between the photos to zero.

then i upload all 3 photos and put them in the squares. because they're not exactly the closest in color schemes, i individually edit them until i'm satisfied.

canva provides filters that you can use, but i always find it best to toggle with the adjustments like brightness, contrast, saturation, etc.

here's what i ended up with so far:

again, not exactly perfect, but whatever

now that i'm done, i go up to "share", select "download", and increase the size by 1.5 (that's 900 x 300 px). idk why, but for some reason, the quality looks better when you enlarge the size before download.

once that's done, i download the whole thing.

(keep the file type as "png" btw)

then i go over to photopea and upload my graphic. it'll look like this:

in another tab (not the photopea tab, but like... the actual tab of whatever browser ur using), i can find a bunch of psd colorings in deviantart. since i want one that's specifically purple, i just search up "psd coloring purple"

and i get all this:

i pick whichever one i think might look best and download it.

then i head back to photopea.

at the top, click on "file" and the new psd you just downloaded, and it'll show up in a new tab.

stay on that tab, go up to "layer" -> "layer into" and select the first tab where the graphic's at. this applies the psd coloring onto ur graphic.

over at the side, there's something called "opacity: ___%" you can toggle with that if the psd is too overwhelming, so you can lessen it by dragging it down if you need to.

once you're satisfied, click "file" -> "export as" -> "png" and it'll be downloaded.

and that's pretty much it!

THIS CAN BE A LONG PROCESS THOUGH! literally in every step, you might end up going back and changing stuff.

for example, i do not like the right photo that i selected. the purple is too bold compared to the purple shades in the left and center photo. i'd probably go aaaalll the way back to the earlier steps by returning to pinterest to find a better photo

or maybe you don't like the psd you picked. if that's the case, delete the photopea tabs and redo the above steps with a different psd.

it can be a bit annoying if ur the perfectionist type and have to go back again and again 😅

but anyway, psd coloring's are great. i'm looking back at the og versions of all the graphics i made (og as in, before i applied the psd colorings) and they're soooo different from the finished pieces

[neallo]

it’s sooooo cold and the heater broke and there is only One Way that mello and near can stay warm together

hi this ended up like 1000 words (on the money actually) and tbh i might upload it to AO3 but i'm feeling shy bc it's not really edited. and also not really finished to be so honest. but thank you for this prompt it was so much fun to work on ^_^

The circumstances are, it’s important to understand, very unusual. This wouldn’t be happening if they weren’t.

It went like this: they were both given the option to fly back to England for the holidays. Wammy’s would welcome them with open arms, the alumni email said. It made Mello want to gag. When he told Near as much, the other boy just shrugged.

“What do you think you’ll do?” Near asked. He asked this from his own desk chair, which was across from Mello’s bed, which were in the same room because Mello had, for reasons that still sometimes evade him, agreed to be Near’s roommate.

“Depends what L’s gonna do,” Mello told him. “And Matt. Obviously.”

As it turned out, L was spending another month in Japan— with a secret paramour, Mello suspected— and Matt was going to Vegas. He knew that trip was with a girl, because Matt made sure everyone and their goddamn mothers knew that he was getting laid regularly the very moment it started happening.

Considering that neither of the people Mello would have wanted to see at Wammy’s were actually going to be there, he decided it wasn’t worth the flight back. When he told Near, the younger boy nodded like he had said something wise.

“The food here,” Near said, “is better, anyway.”

Mello rolled his eyes. “No, it isn’t. They just have American cereal.”

“It’s better,” Near insisted. Mello gave up the fight.

The rest of the semester went by slowly, then flew past him all at once. Some parents came in cars to pick up their students from the dormitories; other students took charter buses to other cities, rolling suitcases dragging through the salt and slush on the sidewalks. Before he knew it, though, he and Near were practically alone in the building.

It was fine. It was totally, totally normal, and a little boring. They ate and they watched TV and Near built unreasonably large towers of dice and cards in the common room and then they went to sleep. Once, this would have actually been really fucking bizarre to Mello, because once, he sort of hated Near’s guts, but now the only strangeness was how natural it felt. It was… relaxing.

Was. It was relaxing. Past-tense, because tonight, the residence hall’s furnace burnt out and their room got cold and Near’s teeth started chattering, and Mello got annoyed and also secretly slightly worried, so he told Near to come lay next to him, and now they’re crammed together in his tiny twin XL, and it’s not normal or relaxing or even boring because Mello has a hard-on for some unknowable reason and Near is still fucking shivering.

“Shut up,” Mello says.

“I’m s-s-sorry,” Near stutters. He rubs his hands together, trembling pathetically, and Mello loses his patience again.

“Just fucking— come here.” He grabs both of Near’s hands and puts them on his neck; they’re like icicles. It’s horrid, which is great, because it distracts his dick from whatever the hell it thinks it’s interested in, here.

“O-oh.” Near leans closer. “Thank you.”

They stay like that for a while, then. Mello bites the side of his tongue almost to bleeding and counts backwards from one-hundred. His hard-on starts to flag, his cock slowly but steadily softening. Near turns his wrists so that his knuckles rest against Mello’s neck instead of his palms, and Mello shudders.

“Sorry,” Near says, pulling back to frown.

The motion is, as it turns out, unwise— Near’s body, being close to the edge of the mattress already, tips precipitously backwards. Mello catches him at the last second and drags him forward.

“Jeez,” he says, shifting to try and give Near more room, pulling him along, “you really—”

The words die on his tongue. Mello freezes; Near freezes. For a long moment, neither of them breathe.

There is something distinctly hard against Mello’s hip. He stares at Near. 

“Uh,” he says, “is that—”

“I’m sorry,” Near squeaks. “It’s— I didn’t— it just—”

Mello watches, fascinated, as the most collected, impassive person he’s ever known turns into a red-faced mess in the dim of their freezing dorm room.

“Hey, no, look, it’s fine,” he says, putting his hand on Near’s arm before he can short-circuit entirely.

Near stills. “Okay,” he says quietly. “Thank you.”

Licking his lips, Mello nods. “Yeah, no worries.” A pause. “You should probably take care of that.”

Blinking. Tense air. Near’s lips parting, then closing again. He has a pretty mouth, Mello notices.

“You don’t mean… here, surely.” 

“Why not?” Mello asks. “Guys do it all the time.”

Near looks quite skeptical at this assertion. “In the same bed?”

“What, do you think I would lie to you?”

In truth, he has little idea of whether or not this suggestion is fully within the realm of normalcy, but that doesn’t seem important right now. He wants Near to take out his dick. He does not want to examine his motivations for this closely, though he’s beginning to get a vague, unwilling sense of what they are, anyway.

“Ah, my— hands. They’re still cold.” Near says.

Mello frowns. “Are you asking me to jerk you off?” 

“What?” Near asks, alarmed. “That’s not what I—”

“I guess I could,” Mello interrupts. “It’d probably help you sleep. And, like— you’re not gonna be able to get warm until your blood isn’t…”

He gestures towards Near’s crotch. Near looks like he wants to die, or evaporate, or maybe flee into the wilderness. Mello doesn’t want him to do any of those things.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he says. “We’re friends, now, aren’t we?”

Near’s brow furrows. “Haven’t we always been?”

“Uh.” Mello swallows. “Yes. Which is why it wouldn’t be weird at all, actually.”

A brief, skeptical look from Near— then, suddenly, a strangely secretive expression. 

“Okay,” he says carefully. “You’re right. It won’t be weird. I would— like you to help me. Please.”

Please, Mello decides, is a word he likes very much on Near’s pretty lips.

[elytrafemme]

hi it's nightmare_rivulets. the future of CS

hi all. first of all if you sent me the beautiful CS-related ask i will reply to it as soon as my day slows down, that didn't spark this post i just needed to type this before i got some shit done but i WILL answer that.

but i want to talk about CS and say that i have come to the decision that i am going to upload a final chapter or two which is an outline of what the piece was meant to be, where the plot was going to go. include as many excerpts as i can. so i can lay CS to rest without leaving it entirely unfinished.

this idea makes me miserable, i want to be transparent about that. i promised myself when i started CS at age 16 (a little younger, actually, but i uploaded it when i was 16 i think) that i was going to stick with it. and i had a year where i had very consistent biweekly updates! CS got me through so much in my personal life, and i met some of my best online friends through CS.

but, of course, there was that senior year hiatus that i never really recovered from. because i wrote CS in the aftermath of the first relationship i was ever in, which completely fucking ruined me. CS was written as i was experiencing psychosis, as i was stumbling from one traumatic sexual relationship into what would be another. CS came out of a person who had just been groomed, who was going to be manipulated for the next two years going forward. and i say all of this because i think it makes it excessively clear why i can't return to CS, considering the state of the DSMP creators.

there are other reasons. i am an adult now-- i mean, barely, i am nineteen. but CS was written by a 16 year old about 17 year olds, and that's not where i am anymore. so many of the themes of CS are still relevant to me-- i mean, as mentioned above, but also i am surrounded by people who have complex relationships with substances, for example, or with their families. cs!wilbur was based on my own brother and some of our issues, and that situation has developed over two years putting me in a... strange place. but i'm not in high school. i spent my senior year of high school, where cs!beeduo were dealing with shit and falling in queerplatonic love, trying to survive while my mind split alters and everything around me was falling apart. i don't even know how i survived. a lot of the people who i considered major parts of the CS community from day 1 have fallen out with me in some way. another massive part of the CS community i spent a year or two experiencing delusions about, and i am only now reconciling that what i believed wasn't real. sorry if you were a mutual of mine i ghosted. i'm trying to fix that.

i want CS to be a finished piece of work so badly, God do i want that. it meant EVERYTHING to me at age 16. it was the testament to my lived experience, it was my magnum opus, it was the best thing iwould ever create. but i can't create it anymore. and i despise how something so meaningful to me was totally fucking ruined, but i can only half fault the DSMP creators for that because everyone knew CS was stumbling towards a half complete end anyway.

i don't know when i will actually upload these final chapters. maybe in march, maybe in summer, maybe in between. but i can't continue acting like i will finish up a CS chapter at this rate. every ex-dsmp content creator, except fucking Jack Manifold and Niki so shout out to them (and Tommy and ConnorEatsPants i'll add in edit), makes me nauseous in some kind of way. some of them because they were genuine horrible people! and some, i don't know, the downfalls of parasocialism and the endless disappointment in XYZ areas. some of that will heal. some of that, obviously, will never heal. i can't stick around and wait for it.

i'm sorry for the long post. you all know i am verbose at this point. it makes me so sad that at age 16, ex-grooming victim who was about to go through so much worse, i was able to create something and was convinced i'd see it through. i don't think i am a coward but i do feel sorry for the ways i will never avenge my younger self. but i can't write a fic about cs!beeduo when i knew, back then, that i wanted their to be a sexual trauma plotline, which will never exist because half the fucking streamers were abusers. i can't write about cs!ranboo's psychosis when i was convinced my own mutuals were trying to kill me for about a year. i can't do any of this anymore. and that makes me so angry with myself. but it's just the truth.

i have to go get food with some friends. if people want i can elaborate but that's the bottom line. CS meant everything to me and i'm sorry to say it but, it's going to have a lackluster end. God knows i tried. God knows i fucking tried.

[impulsivebrainrot]

Istg I think I just blinked and 2 weeks have gone by- AKJSHDFKJH

Post-semester burn out always sucks ;-; Spent the first week sleeping even if I wanted to do stuff. It's like my brain and body just really can't... ;-;;;

I really don't want to rush these chapters (currently, yes, plural) :'3 because though I appreciate a lot of you guys liking chapter 17, as the author who knows how the story will run... I was really sent into an internal panic when I realized I revealed something I wasn't supposed to yet. Coz of that, I really don't wanna make the same mistake again in the future.

Yeah, I can be really impulsive at times ;-; lmao guess it really does the username justice KJASHFKJHDS

Had been debating of rewriting that chapter but with the many reads ever since (thank you guys btw, y'all are awesome ;w; 💙✨), I think I'll just suck it up and work with what I published ahahahakjsdf.

It always pains me when I can't work on the little things that make me happy, and well... make other people happy, but I try anyway :')... It's about to be my last year in uni after this intersession (idk what this is called in other countries, but for our uni it's basically mandatory subjects smushed into the summer, so yeah, it's expected to be very fast-paced T-T), but also keep in mind that 4th year is thesis year so... omg :''')))

I won't give up on this fic. And no matter how much school drains me, I still value what I'm making, yet responsible enough to commit to what's important first, and that's my studies. Because I really like what I'm learning too, even if it's hard most of the time.

Here's the good news tho ;w;

I actually DID work on stuff during the 2-week break. What I've written so far is very unedited but is enough to be one chapter, out of 2 or 3, we'll see (because I tend to divide one "episode" into ~2 parts after all). Like the chapters on the Titan-hunting monsters, I can't publish the first without having to complete the next in case I have to change something prior. So yeah, that's how my writing goes, but the benefit of it is that it comes in a set all within 2 months ;w;

That, plus I've finished 2/5 artworks. Here's some teasers :3

I wish I could say more but it's 4 am, and the only reason I have the balls to do this during a school night is because my first class later starts at 2 pm lol KJSHDFKJHDF Plus I don't really want to turn this whole acc into a rant channel, that's what the fic is for, to project my trauma HAHAHAHAHA, Y'ALL AHM KIDDING I SWEAR- I'm a psychology major and I just try to integrate what I've learned in writing characters XD (i.e. how does a particular nature of upbringing affect present decisions, behaviors, relationships, etc.)

Anyway, last bit is this (DAMN, FINALLY) Lumity pride month post ^o^ Consider it as the canon fic designs for them :3 If I ever make changes, I'll just post an entire ref sheet of the Hexsquad

Thank you guys btw for the 8.5k hits! Hope I can upload these chapters before intersession ends, waaaa ;w;;;; Y'all are the best <333

Stay tuned! Hoot! Hoot!💙💀⭐

[tennessoui]

november (and the last) ko-fi: kuwsk!

hello look at me being beautifully almost on time 😇 i have finished and posted the november ko-fi fic on my ko-fi for monthly supporters to read! it was so fun to return to the skywalker-kenobi family in this fic, especially because this one is set after they're together and engaged and in the midst of domestic bliss, which is not a flavor of obikin i generally write (but i should cause they're just silly even when they're ostensibly fighting!!) here's a snippet:

“If you’re seriously upset with me for volunteering to help out with the twins’ school production of a Thanksgiving play, I’m going to need you to say that sentence out loud a couple of times,” Anakin says finally, and Obi-Wan cuts him a scathing look.  “It’s not even going to be historically accurate.” “Baby, you’re not even American.” Obi-Wan sniffs. “That’s besides the point.” “I know you don’t like her, and I’m sure you have your reasons, but it’s for the greater good, yeah? I mean, do you actually trust any of the other parents to build anything else for the twins to stand on or around?” “Michael’s father works in construction,” Obi-Wan points out, raising his mug to his mouth and blowing on it carefully. “And Parker’s mother is an architect.” Anakin shrugs with one shoulder. “You’re sort of intimidatingly neurotic about the twins’ safety, baby. We know this by now.”

so as stated in the title this is gonna be my last ko-fi fic. it has been such a pleasure and a learning experience for me as a writer and y'all have been so supportive during this project - thank you so much to everyone who has subscribed for either a month or the whole year 🙏 i'm going to be deleting my ko-fi account on november 30 because i don't want anyone to accidentally forget to unsubscribe when i won't have a december fic for y'all - so if you've been going back and forth on supporting, do it now and you'll get access to all the fics on my ko-fi (final count: 18 ficlets - and 1 au that's just on ko-fi!!) before i upload them to ao3 in 2025*

and because im deleting my whole ko-fi, i do just want to say thank you to everyone who supported it since i set it up like 3 years ago - y'all are truly just so amazing and i'm constantly happy and content with this lil corner of fandom space in ways i don't know how to articulate even a million words of writing in

*this will be a slow process because of who i am as a writer - if you really want to have continued access to the fics currently on ko-fi, i'd bookmark the google doc they're on because those won't be deleted until the fic is permanently on ao3

[ellisgirl]

Jude Jazza & Ellis Twilight — Villains Want to Embarrass Little Robin Story Event

Epilogue

I do not own any contents of Ikemen Villains. This story being uploaded in this blog belongs solely to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading their games and buying their stories. Both English and Japanese are not my mother tongue languages, please keep in mind that there will be mistakes and added words for my own preferences. I translate for my personal entertainment and for my own practice only.

Kate: "Ellis's "request"... Is this okay with you? Are you sure?

Ellis: "Yeah. Date with Jude and Miss Kate on my day off."

Jude: “There's no such thing as a date with the three of us.”

Each with a gelato of a different colour in hand, we sit on the stairs and look out over the city of London.

Ellis: “I saw that Miss Kate seemed to be having a good time on her last mission, so I thought the three of us would be good together."

(Looks like fun..... Was it?)

I try to remember what happened a few days ago.

I was surprised by Mr. Jude's Queen’s English,

I was blown away by Ellis's outrageous act,

Sleeping in a bed with the three of us.….

(......Well, the last one shocked me the most anyway)

I can't say that it was fun, but it was certain that laughter came to mind more than fear.

(Once again, it's thanks to the two of them that we were able to finish the mission safely.)

Ellis: “Here, Miss Kate. I'll give you a bite of mine."

Kate: "Wow..... Actually, I was a little curious of your gelato’s flavour, thank you very much."

I lick the chocolate-coloured gelato with my words.

Kate: "!....so sweet and delicious"

Ellis: "Fufu... I'm glad."

Ellis: “Give me Jude's, too."

Without waiting for Mr. Jude's response, Ellis ate the light yellow food in a single bite.

Jude: "Tsk.... I'm telling you to stop eating without permission."

Ellis: "That's right, I'm sorry. But it was delicious, thank you for the meal."

Ellis is the same as always, even to Mr. Jude who seems to be in a bad mood.

After working together with several missions, I get the sense that....... The two of them do not get along well with each other, but it is natural that they have each other's backs.

(......Somehow, it's nice)

I was a little jealous, and when I was staring blankly at Jude's hand,

Ellis: "Miss Kate, do you want to eat Jude’s too?”

Kate: "What?"

When Ellis suddenly said that, my voice turned inside out.

Kate: "No, I was staring at him for a different reason.”

The tip of Mr. Jude's tongue scoops up the pear gelato.

(Ah... but it sure looks delicious.)

Jude: “…..Do you want it?”

Kate: "Eh, is it okay.......?"

I was puzzled when he offered it to me, but I put my lips to it and extended my tongue.

But just before the tip of the tongue touched, the gelato went away.

Kate: “…….?”

Jude: “.....Ha, your face."

Mr. Jude laughed at me who was stuck with my tongue out, and licked another mouthful of gelato.

Kate: "Hey, that's terrible.... Fiddle with my appetite….!”

Ellis: “All right, all right. ......Next time you can eat his like I do, Miss Kate."

Jude: “I told you not to do that. I'm going to beat you to a pulp.”

Ellis said as if he suddenly remembered while I quietly enjoying my own portion of lemon gelato.

Ellis: "Oh, that's right. What is Miss Kate's request?"

Kate: "Eh? Oh...”

Kate: “I'm fine with it because it was the two of you that kept me from being exposed."

Ellis: "But you did a lot of hard work, right?"

Ellis: "I want to fulfil your “request”."

Jude: “………”

Mr. Jude is looking towards the day after tomorrow, as if to say that this question and answer is meaningless.

Kate: "Well then......"

Kate: "Can you tell me how Ellis came to work at Jude's company?"

Ellis: "Is that a request for me? Or a request for Jude?"

Kate: "Both of you. This one is enough."

Jude: “It's a bunch of nonsense. You don't need that useless information.”

Kate: "Yes, it's fine."

Ellis: "Well... I wonder where to start."

Ellis: “When I first met Jude in London, he put me to sleep with his curse ability right after a few words.”

Kate: “Eh…..!?”

Ellis: "That was the first time Jude realised his ability, right?"

Jude: "I thought he was dead because he suddenly rolled to the ground."

Kate: "So, what happened...?"

Jude: "He woke up when I was smoking."

Kate: "Were you smoking next to someone you thought might be dead.....?"

Ellis: "At that time, I thought maybe he was the same as me, so I also showed my ability."

Kate: "...You mean that you restrained Mr. Jude's wrists...?"

(I don't know what to be scared of...)

Jude: "You don't need that part.”

Ellis: “So, since I didn't have a place to stay, he took me to his house.”

Kate: "Yeah... They say don't follow people you meet for the first time......"

Kate: "Or rather, Mr. Jude shouldn't bring someone you've met for the first time to your house...?"

Jude: “I don't need you to tell me how to manage my life.”

Ellis: "And, I signed the contract."

Kate: "I'm starting to feel like I'm listening to a bad scam experience...... With the way things are going, why did you sign.....?"

Ellis: “I don't have to worry about food, work, or a place to live. .....because he promised me."

Ellis: "I'm waiting for the time when Jude will be the happiest in his life."

Kate: "A promise that will be fulfilled at that time, you mean?"

Ellis: "Yes. He promises to fulfil my request when that time comes."

Kate: “Your request?”

Ellis smiled and avoided the answer.

Ellis: "But... It's hard to come. I wonder if Jude has always been unhappy."

Jude: "You're so noisy."

Kate: "What about Mr. Jude? Why did you decide to hire Ellis?"

Jude: “His physical ability and his curse are useful. He's definitely a bit of a nutcase."

Jude: "There's no way we're going to miss this precious labour force."

Kate: ".....Aiming for the body......?”

Jude: "Stop using creepy phrases."

(Mr. Jude wants to use Ellis conveniently, and Ellis wants Mr. Jude to grant his wish.)

They are by each other's side for each other's purposes...... I guess it's a contractual relationship.

(But...... I feel like that contract was finalised because it was these two people, not anyone else.)

Anyone else would surely have had a different outcome.

I think it's stronger than the bonds of friendship and love.

Ellis: "Well, next's Jude's turn."

Jude: “……..”

After thinking a little, Mr. Jude pointed at me,

Jude: "...From here”

His fingertip pointed across the main street.

Jude: "Run as fast as you can to the bookstore five blocks away and buy these."

On the paper that was given to me, there was a lot of the name of the book.

Kate: "Why do I need to run as fast as I can....?"

Jude: "It's boring when it's just an errand, isn't it?"

Jude: "....Will you keep your promise?"

(That's right......)

Kate: "I'm going......!”

I ate the rest of the gelato and ran through the city of London.

Ellis: ".....You don't have to run.”

Jude: "If you let her walk too long, she'll look back."

Ellis: "Four, five... seven? Who is it this time? Those who have a grudge against Jude again?"

Jude: "I don't know."

Jude: "Three minutes. Finish it before the princess comes back."

Ellis: “Give me two and a half minutes. You'll be thirsty, I'll have to buy you some water."

Jude: "Tsk..... If you do it, you should do four people."

Ellis: "Understood."

Without making any arrangements or exchanging eye contact, the two casually stepped into London’s thinly lit streets.

With the image of Kate coming home breathless.

Masterlist

Chapter 1 >> Chapter 2 >> Premium End >> Epilogue

[jealousmartini]

Hiii for the ask game — 🩰♟️🎻🏛️

ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOR MY MHA COLLEGE REALITY

— 🩰 : what is your OOTD (outfit of the day) for a dr and why?

The fit — Low effort, comfy and suitable for the humid summer air

I'm shifting to when it's Friday in my college au. Because my schedule is more lenient on Fridays, i have more time to myself than i do in class.

So I'll spend my free time at my desk in my room bathed in the soft, golden haze of a summer friday evening, sunlight spilling through the window like warm syrup across the walls and floor, legs tucked under me with my (sister's) cat purring it's weight on me away to dream land on my lap. I'm curled up in my special cushioned wheelie chair, typing with a gentle rhythm, fingers dancing across the keyboard for my project that's due in a week as my three favorite people have made themselves at home UNINVITED MIND YOU on my double sized bed behind me—legs stretched out, practically tangled in each other, swallowed by the plush landscape of blankets and plushies, Bakugo, Midoriya and Uraraka are half-bickering half-scrolling, half way to dream land, probably not planning on leaving to their seperate dorm rooms. And I'll be joining them soon anyway so I don't bother kicking them out.

But I should clarify, not the Friday, 20th of June coming, it's the Friday, 2nd of May. Because in this current reality, college is ending on Thursday, tomorrow. And the truth is... I'm not ready to finish college in my dr. So I'm going a couple weeks back in time. I also want to be there in time for my birthday, which is the 20th of June.

— 🗝 : what is your most niche dr and why did you make it?

My pretty cure, Voltron and MHA AU drs. I made them purely out of nostalgia and fulfilling my inner child. I've got too many mha au realities someone actually needs to put me on a leash.

— 🎻 : what is a fun scenario you have scripted and you excited for? (be detailed! :)

Oh I hold this scenario very near and dear to my heart.

Bakusquad and I + Uraraka and Deku go on a road trip to a beach resort. Specifically one with a big ass cliff close to it. The motive? Conquer my phobia of heights, falling and the ocean. It's a massive goal on my bucket list...

I'm kinda nervous about actually doing it though because I actually feel nauseous at the thought of jumping into an open ocean from a far height. Like it's a serious phobia that makes my stomach churn. Aside from spiders. The only reason why I'm doing it, though, is because my favourite people in the world are gonna be there to help me.

And then after that Katsuki is treating me to some pasta and lobster as a celebration😋

— 🏛️ : what do you do in your free time? Who are you with? Where do you go?

I draw. Explore. Shop. Eat, and draw some more until I decide to go to sleep. My twin, and like I'm talking my Deku to my Bakugo, is Mina. And also Uraraka, actually. If I'm not hanging out in my whole friend group, then I am hanging out with Mina and Uraraka 100%.

I also YouTube. I'm a popular animator/Illustrator and my content consists of animation and comic project updates, meme, fanimations and fan art of my favourite media, tutorials, commentary and ranting, drama, vlogs of my life as an animation and games/cinematography student, draw/study with me, live streaming, speed paints and so on.

Because of how hectic and busy my schedule is, I dont always upload twice every two weeks like I used to. If I do post, it's most likely either a college update, a rant or illustrations which I choose to post more on tumblr and tiktok than I do youtubes community posts.

[suzukiblu]

I always assumed Match started off more pale because he like. Wasn't finished cooking? Or more like he wasn't cooked 100 correctly.

Like, whenever I don't wanna cook I'll make these frozen pot pies, and you're supposed to let the pies defrost and slit the top while the oven preheats.

I've noticed when I don't defrost them or slit the top, the crust tends to stay a bit pale and a tiny bit... doughey? I guess?

So that's what I think happened between Superboy and Match. Superboy's pie got to defrost and cook, while Match's pie was left in the freezer while the oven preheated.

Like, I know that Match is supposed to be the "better" version of Superboy but like... I have a hard time believing The Agenda REALLY knew what they were doing

Ironically Match is supposed to have been the one who was completely "cooked", pretty sure he was actually MEANT to come out his "age". KON was supposed to be a grown-ass Superman but got busted out early. It's also at least implied that the only really "better" thing Match has going for him is that he got the full TTK/combat education uploads that Kon had interrupted, and they're actually evenly--you know, MATCHED, lol.

If I HAD to come up with a canonical reason for Match's original coloring changing, I'd either assume it was that he got zero sunlight in-development (which, considering iirc they built Match BEFORE it was canonically clear that Superboy was at least partially solar-powered is in fact a possibility), or it was an early symptom of the genetic flaw that led to his eventual Bizarrofication, which I once saw a fic assume the Agenda had purposefully built into him to keep him under their control. Like, they were giving him medication or hormones that kept the degradation from triggering, basically. Which I think is much smarter as an explanation than what canon did, which was, you know, just not explain it at all as far as I know. Like, obvi the Bizarrofication was just a stupid off-the-cuff idea somebody had like fifteen years later, not a planned thing that mattered or was interesting or logical, but that's how I'd probably explain it if I had to, hah.

Buuuuut I'm pretty sure the dude was originally just meant to be the sci-fi version of albino, just for whatever easy visual cheats to tell him and Kon apart reasons, and then somebody either lost the series bible or just decided to retcon that and stuff him in Kon's old T-shirt instead.

( god I STILL hate the T-shirt for BOTH of them, it's just such a stupidly OOC look that does not get TREATED as OOC. AND KON IS A PUNK, GDI, NOT A JOCK. )