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loveanton · 3 months

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my universe | lee anton

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: if anyone were to ask your husband what matters most to him he’d undoubtedly respond with, “my family.” you and your three children, soon to be four, are his whole universe.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: husband!anton x f!reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: slice of life au

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 4.7k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: screaming kids, tantrums, mentions of pregnancy, protective anton, fear of water, accidental hitting, you and anton shower together, overall just cute family time hehe :)

⏤ 𝑎/n: want anton to father my kids 🫨

"Mama, up!"

You glance down at your youngest, his small arms reaching up towards you from the floor as you hover over the stove, carefully tending to breakfast for your bustling household. His sleepy eyes and rumpled pajamas tug at your heart, but you know you have to keep moving.

"Just a little longer, sweetheart," you say gently. "Mama's making breakfast."

But your explanation does little to soothe him, and his pout quickly turns into a full-blown tantrum. He wails, stomping his little feet in frustration, the noise echoing through the kitchen. Before you can intervene, Anton's calm, firm voice cuts through the chaos.

"Buddy, come here."

Your son turns, still sniffling, and runs into Anton's waiting arms. Anton scoops him up effortlessly, his voice soothing as he explains, "Mama's making breakfast. She can't pick you up right now, okay?"

Your son, now snuggled against Anton's shoulder, seems to understand. He buries his face into his father's neck, his cries subsiding as sleep overtakes him once more.

Just then, the twins burst into the kitchen, their energy filling the room as they dart around. The two children create a whirlwind of laughter and shouts, making it almost impossible for you to continue cooking. Your son stirs and starts to cry again, overwhelmed by the sudden noise.

"Hey, hey, calm down, everyone," Anton says, his voice authoritative yet kind. "No running around in the kitchen. Go wait in the living room until breakfast is ready."

The twins, recognizing the seriousness in their father's tone, grab each other's hands and run out, still bubbling with excitement but now more contained. You sigh in relief, though your son's cries continue, his small body writhing in Anton's arms.

"Here, let me take him," you offer, stepping towards Anton.

But Anton shakes his head, his eyes gentle but firm. "No, love. I don't want you carrying him. Remember, you're pregnant."

You roll your eyes slightly but smile, appreciating his concern. "I'm fine, Anton. I can handle it."

"I know you can," he says, brushing a stray braid from your face. "But I'd feel better if you didn't pick him up for a while."

You relent, understanding his worry, and return to cutting up the fruit, grateful for his support. Anton sways gently, soothing your son until his cries turn to soft snores. Just then, your mother-in-law descends the stairs, her presence warm and reassuring.

"Good morning," she greets, taking her grandson from Anton with practiced ease. "I'll take this little one."

"Thanks, Mom," Anton says, his hands now free to help you finish breakfast. He moves to your side, starting to plate the food with efficiency born of practice.

The sound of breakfast preparations and the occasional clatter of dishes fills the kitchen. You and Anton work in a seamless rhythm, a testament to the years of shared mornings and teamwork. As you place the final touches on the plates, Anton calls out, "Okay, breakfast is ready!"

The children come running back, their excitement renewed. As they crowd around the table, the twins start to bicker over who gets to sit next to their dad, their voices rising in discord.

"Girls, you can share the chair," you interject, cutting off the argument before it can escalate. "No more fighting, okay?"

They nod, clambering onto the same chair, their brief squabble forgotten in the excitement of breakfast. As they dig into their plates, the sound of footsteps inform of the arrival of Anton's father.

"Grandpa!" The chorus of excited voices fills the room as the kids rush to him, wrapping their arms around his legs. Even your youngest joins in, having wriggled free from his grandmother's grasp.

He chuckles, bending down to tickle them. "Alright, alright, let's finish breakfast first," he says, his eyes twinkling with affection.

Anton hands you a cup of tea, his eyes meeting yours with a loving smile. "Good morning, Dad," he says, taking a sip of his own coffee.

"Good morning," his father replies, settling into a chair with a contented sigh, watching the lively scene before him.

You take a deep breath, feeling a sense of peace amidst the chaos. Anton often tells you that your family is his whole universe, and in moments like these, it's easy to see why.

As breakfast progresses, the noise level rises again, though this time it’s filled with the happy chatter of children and the clink of utensils. Your mother-in-law, having settled your youngest comfortably on her lap, joins in the conversation, sharing a story from Anton’s childhood that has everyone laughing.

"Did you know," she says, "when your dad was your age," she points at one of the twins, "he used to run around the kitchen with his brother just like you, driving me up the wall!"

Anton shakes his head, grinning. "And now it's come full circle. Thanks for that, Mom."

The twins giggle, and you see them exchanging looks that promise future mischief.

As you move to enter the kitchen, Anton stands and follows you, placing a gentle hand on your back. "Need a hand?" he asks.

"Just need some water," you reply with a smile.

He obliges, pouring a glass of water for you before topping off his own cup with some more coffee. "You know," he says quietly, "I think we should tell everyone soon. About the baby."

You nod, looking through the kitchen entryway at the gathered family, feeling a wave of warmth and gratitude. "Yeah, soon. But not just yet. Let's keep this little secret between us for a bit longer."

Anton agrees, his eyes twinkling with anticipation. "I can't wait to meet this one."

___

As breakfast winds down, Anton’s father stands up, signaling the end of the meal. "Alright, girls," he says, clapping his hands. "Who’s up for a game outside?"

A chorus of cheers follows, and the twins scramble to clean up their plates, eager for the next adventure. Anton helps you clear the table, his hand occasionally brushing yours, a silent reminder of his love and support.

Your mother-in-law, still holding your youngest, stands and stretches. "I'll take him for a little walk in the garden," she says. "Give you two a bit of a break."

"Thanks, Mom," you say, truly grateful.

As the children spill outside, their laughter echoing back into the house, you and Anton share a quiet moment in the now peaceful kitchen. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you close.

"You know," he murmurs, "I wouldn't trade this for anything."

You rest your head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. "Neither would I."

Anton and you retreat to the kitchen, the comforting sounds of family now a backdrop to your conversation. Together, you start washing the dishes, working side by side. Anton takes up the sponge, scrubbing at a stubborn spot on a plate, while you rinse and stack the clean dishes.

“Remember when we first found out we were having the twins?” you say, smiling at the memory.

Anton chuckles, his eyes warm with nostalgia. “How could I forget? We were both in shock. Two babies at once.”

You nod, laughing softly. “I thought we’d never sleep again.”

“And we didn’t, for a while,” Anton replies, shaking his head. “But look at them now. They’re growing up so fast.”

You both pause, gazing out the window above the kitchen sink. The large yard, a non-negotiable for both of you when buying this house, stretches out in front of you. The twins run around with their grandpa, their laughter ringing through the air, while your son clings tightly to his grandmother’s hand, exploring the garden.

“I’m so glad we insisted on a big yard,” you say, watching the children play. “I wanted them to have the space to explore, to grow up with nature. Not glued to screens all the time.”

Anton nods, his arm brushing yours as he hands you another plate. “They’re having the kind of childhood we always dreamed of for them.”

You turn to look at your husband, your heart swelling with love and gratitude. “Our son looks just like you, you know. Acts like you too. It’s like having a little Anton running around.”

Anton smiles, a tender look in his eyes. “And the twins are all you. They’ve got your energy.”

As you share this quiet moment, your oldest twin comes barreling into the kitchen, her voice high with excitement. “Beach! Daddy, Mommy, beach!”

Anton’s father follows her in, looking a bit sheepish. “Sorry about that. I told them about how much you and your brother loved swimming in the ocean when you were their age. They got a bit obsessed with the idea.”

You and Anton laugh, your kids’ enthusiasm infectious. The twins cling to your legs, their faces pleading as they beg to go.

“Please, Mommy! Please, Daddy!” they chant, their eyes wide with anticipation.

Anton glances at you, then back at the kids, a smile spreading across his face. “Well, it is nice out. How about a family outing to the beach?”

The twins squeal in delight, racing off to their shared room to pick out their outfits. You chuckle, shaking your head at their energy.

“Looks like we’re going to the beach,” you say, leaning into Anton.

He wraps an arm around you, pulling you close. “Mhhmm, excited to teach Chanwoo how to swim.”

With the dishes done, you start gathering the necessary items for a beach trip. Towels, sunscreen, snacks – everything you’ll need for a day of fun in the sun. The twins reappear, dressed in their swimsuits and hats, bouncing with excitement.

“Ready, ready, ready!” they chant, unable to contain their enthusiasm.

Your mother-in-law comes in, your son still in her arms. “Looks like we’re all set. This little one is ready for his first beach day too.”

You take a moment to look around at your family, feeling a profound sense of happiness and fulfillment. Anton catches your eye, and you share a smile, knowing that these are the moments that he appreciates most.

As you all pile into the car, the kids chatter excitedly about the waves, the sand, and the fun they’re going to have. Anton starts the engine, and you lean back in your seat, hand resting on your slowly growing belly. Anton's parents follow in their own car, ready to join the beach adventure.

The twins, Yechan and Chanmi, start firing off questions as soon as you hit the road. "Mommy, how big are the waves?" Yechan asks, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"And will we see dolphins?" Chanmi adds, bouncing in her seat.

"The waves can be pretty big, but we'll stay where it's safe for you to play," you reassure them. "And maybe, if we're lucky, we might see some dolphins."

Your son, clutching his favorite stuffed animal, pipes up. "Mama, what about cwabs?" He tries to say 'crabs' but stumbles over the word, making you smile.

"Crabs, sweetheart," Anton corrects gently. "Can you say 'crabs'?"

"Cwabs," your son tries again, furrowing his little brow.

"Crabs," Anton repeats, and the twins join in, encouraging their brother.

"Crabs, crabs, crabs!" they chant, giggling.

Your son concentrates hard, then finally says, "Crabs!"

"Yay!" The twins cheer, giving him high fives, which makes him giggle in delight.

You feel your heart warm at the sight of your children supporting each other. Anton reaches over to squeeze your hand, his eyes reflecting the same affection you feel.

“Daddy, why don’t you swim anymore?” Yechan asks suddenly, her question catching you off guard.

Anton glances at you before answering. “Well, sweetie, I stopped swimming to follow another dream. I wanted to sing, so I chose that instead.”

Chanmi gasps, her eyes wide with admiration. “You’re so cool, Daddy.”

Anton laughs, his voice soft and even lower than usual due to his bashfulness. “Thank you, Chanmi. That means a lot to me.”

When you arrive at the beach, the twins are practically vibrating with excitement, ready to dash into the water. You manage to corral them long enough to apply sunscreen, with Anton helping to ensure they’re properly covered.

“Can we go now? Please?” Yechan begs, hopping from one foot to the other.

“Alright, alright,” Anton says, laughing. “Let’s go.”

He tries to take your son along, but the little boy screeches and buries himself in your arms, clearly frightened of the water. “Looks like he’s not ready for the waves yet,” you say, soothing him with gentle pats. “We’ll stay here and build a sandcastle, okay?”

Your son nods, his grip on you tightening. You find a good spot on the beach, and soon, you’re both immersed in building an elaborate sandcastle, complete with moats and towers.

Your mother-in-law and father-in-law join you, sitting down in the sand to watch and help. “This is such a lovely day,” your mother-in-law says, her voice warm with affection. “Thank you for making our son so happy.”

You glance up, surprised. “Oh, it’s my pleasure. Anton means the world to me.”

She smiles, her eyes softening. “I was always worried, you know. With Anton’s job, I feared he’d never find someone who truly loved him for who he is. But you’ve been his rock. Despite the hate and the invasive fans, you stayed by his side. There’s no one else I could ever see him loving.”

Your father-in-law nods in agreement. “We’re grateful for you. You’ve made him so happy, and that’s all we’ve ever wanted for our kids.”

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you blink them away, smiling. “Thank you. That means a lot. I love Anton, and I love this family we’ve built together.”

As you chat, you keep an eye on Anton and the twins in the water. They’re laughing and splashing, Anton’s strong arms steadying them against the small waves. It’s clear they’re having the time of their lives, and your heart swells with pride and joy.

Your son, now more relaxed, starts to enjoy the sandcastle project, his little hands patting the sand into shape. “Look, Mama! Big tower!” he exclaims, showing you his handiwork.

“That’s amazing!” you praise, giving him a high five.

Your mother-in-law watches the scene with a tender smile. “He’s so much like Anton at that age. So determined and full of wonder.”

“He really is,” you agree, looking at your son with love.

After a while, Anton and the twins return, their faces flushed with excitement. “Mommy, did you see us? We went so far out!” Yechan says, her eyes sparkling.

“I saw! You were so brave,” you say, hugging her.

Chanmi nods vigorously. “Daddy was the best lifeguard ever!”

Anton grins, ruffling their hair. “You two were amazing swimmers.”

As the excitement of swimming subsides, you turn to your son, who’s been contentedly building sandcastles by your side. “Do you want to try the water, sweetie?” you ask him gently.

He hesitates, looking out at the waves with a mix of curiosity and apprehension. “Mama, water scary.”

You smile reassuringly. “I know it seems that way, but Mommy and Daddy will be right there with you. We’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

He looks up at you, his little face thoughtful. After a moment, he nods. “Okay, Mama. I twust you.”

You stand and take his small hand in yours, feeling a swell of pride at his bravery. “Let’s go to the shore, then. Daddy, can you help?”

Anton joins you, taking your son’s other hand. “Ready, buddy? We’ll take it slow.”

Together, you walk toward the water, your son gripping your hands tightly. When the first wave gently rolls over his little toes, he shrieks at the sensation but doesn’t pull away.

“See? It’s not so bad,” Anton says, smiling down at him. “Do you want to go in a bit deeper?”

Your son looks up at you both, then back at the water. With a firm nod, he says, “Yes, Daddy. Deeper.”

You caress his cheek, your heart swelling with love. “That’s my brave boy.”

As you walk in a bit further, the water rises to his knees. He giggles, now more accustomed to the feel of the waves. He pulls his hands free from yours and starts splashing around, his laughter echoing over the beach.

Anton giggles along with him, scooping him up and tossing him gently in the air before catching him. Your son squeals with delight, his fear completely forgotten. Anton tickles him, and the two of them laugh together, the joy of the moment infectious.

After a while, you head back to join the rest of the family for lunch. You spread out the picnic blanket, and everyone gathers around, their faces glowing with happiness and the warmth of the sun.

“Look at this spread,” your father-in-law says, rubbing his hands together. “You’ve outdone yourself.”

You smile, handing out some gimbap. “I had a lot of help.”

The kids settle down with their food, and soon the air is filled with the sound of chatter and laughter.

“Grandpa, do you like sandcastles?” Yechan asks, her mouth full of mango.

“I love sandcastles,” he replies, winking at her. “Especially when they’re built by my grandkids.”

Chanmi, always the curious one, turns to her grandmother. “Grandma, did Daddy build sandcastles too?”

Her grandmother smiles, brushing a stray hair from Chanmi’s face. “Oh yes, he did. Your daddy loved the beach when he was your age. He used to spend hours building the biggest sandcastles you can imagine.”

“Wow,” Chanmi says, eyes wide. “Daddy, did you really?”

Anton nods, taking a bite of his sandwich. “I did. I loved making towers, just like you do.”

“Can we build one together later?” Yechan asks, looking up at her dad with hopeful eyes.

“Of course,” Anton says, smiling. “I’d love that.”

Your son, having finished his sandwich, looks up at you with a proud smile. “Mama, I not scared of water no more.”

You ruffle his hair. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart. You were very brave.”

Anton’s mother looks at you with a soft smile. “You’re doing such a wonderful job with them. Thank you for giving Anton such a beautiful family.”

You feel a lump in your throat, touched by her words. “Thank you. It means a lot to hear that.”

Your father-in-law chimes in. “We couldn’t have asked for a better daughter-in-law. You’ve made our son so happy.”

As the afternoon progresses, you enjoy the easy camaraderie of family, the children’s laughter mingling with the soothing sound of the waves. You build more sandcastles, take turns flying a kite, and even manage to get your son to dip his toes in the water again, this time with even more confidence.

As the sun begins to set, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, you gather your belongings, tired but content. The kids are still buzzing with energy, talking animatedly about their day.

“Can we come back tomorrow?” Yechan asks, her eyes shining with excitement.

“We’ll see,” Anton says, chuckling. “But for now, it’s time to head home and get some rest.”

You pile back into the cars, the kids’ chatter a comforting background noise as you drive home. Anton reaches over and takes your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a tender gesture.

“I love you,” he says softly.

“I love you too,” you reply, feeling the truth of those words deep in your heart.

As you pull into the driveway, you can’t help but reflect on the day’s events. It’s in these simple, yet profound moments that you find true happiness. However, as you prepare to go inside, you realize the day isn’t quite over yet.

Anton carries your son, who fell asleep during the car ride, into the house. “Looks like someone’s completely worn out,” he says, smiling.

Inside, the twins start arguing as soon as they hear Anton mention showers. “If he’s not going to take a shower, then we won’t either!” Yechan declares, crossing her arms defiantly.

“That’s not fair!” Chanmi adds, mimicking her sister’s stance.

Anton sighs, his tone firm but gentle. “Everyone will be taking a shower tonight. No exceptions. We’ve all had a long day at the beach, and we need to get cleaned up.”

Yechan and Chanmi groan but relent, seeing that their father won’t budge. Anton carries your son to the bathroom while you start running the water, getting everything ready.

“Sweetheart, it’s time to wake up and take a quick shower,” you whisper, gently shaking your son awake.

He stirs, his face scrunching up in protest. “No, Mama, too sleepy.”

Anton chuckles softly. “I know, buddy, but you’ll feel better after a quick rinse. We’ll make it fast, I promise.”

Reluctantly, your son allows himself to be undressed and placed under the warm water. Anton keeps him steady, washing off the sand and salt while you help the twins get ready. Despite the initial resistance, the warm water helps soothe everyone, and soon the bathroom is filled with giggles and splashes as the day’s adventures are recounted.

After the showers, you wrap your son in a fluffy towel and carry him to his room. He’s barely awake, his head resting heavily on your shoulder. You and Anton moisturize his skin before dressing him in some pajamas and tuck him into bed, kissing his forehead. “Goodnight, my brave boy,” you whisper, brushing his hair back.

“Night, Mama. Night, Daddy,” he mumbles, already drifting back to sleep.

With your son settled, you head to the twins’ room. They’re in their pajamas, bouncing on their beds with boundless energy. “Alright, time for a bedtime story,” you announce, trying to wrangle them into bed.

“Yay! Storytime!” they cheer, finally settling down.

Anton picks out a book and starts reading, his voice soft and animated. The twins listen intently, their eyes wide with fascination. As the story ends, Chanmi immediately pipes up. “One more, please, Mommy!”

You shake your head gently. “No, sweetie, it’s time to sleep. We’ll read another one tomorrow.”

This answer doesn’t sit well with Chanmi, who starts to pout. “But I don’t want to sleep!” she declares, her voice rising.

“Chanmi, we agreed on one story,” Anton says, his tone firm. “It’s time for bed now.”

Chanmi’s frustration hits a head, and she starts to cry, thrashing around. In her tantrum, she accidentally smacks your stomach with her little hand. Anton’s eyes flash with anger, and he steps in immediately. “Noémi Chanmi Lee, that’s enough!” he says sternly. “You need to stop this right now. Hitting is not okay.”

You wince slightly at the impact and the use of your daughter's full government name but try to reassure Anton. “It’s okay, I’m fine,” you say softly, placing a hand on his arm.

Anton shakes his head, his eyes still on Chanmi. “She needs to understand what she did was wrong.” He kneels down to her level, his tone gentler but firm. “Chanmi, you need to calm down. It’s not okay to throw tantrums and hit. Even if you didn’t mean to, it’s still not acceptable.”

Chanmi’s tears start to slow as she realizes the gravity of what she’s done. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” she says, her voice trembling. “I didn’t mean to hit you.”

You kneel down beside Anton and pull Chanmi into a hug. “I know you didn’t mean it, sweetie. I forgive you. But you need to listen when we say it’s time for bed.”

Anton wipes away Chanmi’s tears, his expression softening. “I’m sorry for yelling, but I was worried about Mommy. It’s important to behave and not throw tantrums, okay?”

Chanmi nods, sniffling. “Okay, Daddy. I’ll sleep now.”

You and Anton tuck the twins in, kissing them goodnight. “Sweet dreams, my loves,” you whisper, brushing a stray hair from Chanmi’s forehead.

“Night, Mommy. Night, Daddy,” they murmur, finally settling down.

As you close the door to the twins’ room, you and Anton exchange a look of shared relief and exhaustion. “Parenting is no joke,” Anton says with a tired smile.

You chuckle softly. “No, it’s not. But we’re in this together.”

Hand in hand, you head to your bedroom, the weight of the day’s activities starting to settle in. Once inside, you start getting ready for bed. You change into your robe and begin to wrap up your hair. Anton watches you with a soft smile, his love and admiration evident in his eyes.

“Shower?” he suggests, his voice warm and inviting.

You nod, feeling the day’s weariness melt away at the thought. “Yes, please.”

In the bathroom, Anton turns on the water, adjusting it to the perfect temperature. He helps you out of your robe and then sheds his own clothes, leading you under the warm spray. The water cascades over you both, washing away the sand and salt from the beach.

Anton takes the soap and lathers his hands, starting to wash your body with gentle, loving strokes. He’s careful and thorough, his touch tender as he cleanses your skin. When he reaches your growing belly, he bends down and kisses it softly, his lips lingering for a moment. “Hello in there,” he whispers, his voice filled with warmth and affection.

You smile down at him, your heart swelling with love. “You’re so sweet,” you murmur.

He stands back up and finishes rinsing you off before taking his turn. You help him wash, enjoying the intimacy of the moment. After you both are clean, you step out of the shower, drying each other off with fluffy towels. Anton wraps you in a warm embrace, his hands resting on your hips.

Back in your bedroom, you both get dressed in comfortable pajamas. You slip into bed first, sighing contentedly as you sink into the soft sheets. Anton follows, climbing in beside you and pulling you close to his body. His arms wrap around you protectively, his warmth seeping into your skin.

You nestle against him, feeling safe and loved. “Today was wonderful,” you say, your voice a gentle whisper in the quiet room.

“It really was,” Anton agrees, his hand resting on your belly. “The kids had so much fun, and I loved seeing them so happy.”

You nod, placing your hand over his. “And seeing our little one growing inside me, it makes everything feel even more special.”

Anton smiles, his eyes softening. “I’ve been thinking about the baby a lot. I really hope it’s a boy this time.”

You laugh softly, teasingly. “You scream girl dad, Anton. You should be thankful you have at least one son.”

He chuckles, giving your belly a gentle pat. “I know, but it’d be nice to balance things out a bit. The girls have such strong personalities, and sometimes I think it’d be fun to have another little guy running around.”

You smile, feeling a sense of contentment. “Well, whatever this little one turns out to be, I know we’ll love them just as much as we love the others.”

“Absolutely,” Anton agrees, his voice filled with sincerity. “I just want our family to be happy and healthy.”

You tilt your head up to look at him, your eyes meeting his. “And they are. Thanks to you.”

He shakes his head slightly, a modest smile on his lips. “Thanks to us. We’re a team, remember?”

You nod, your heart swelling with love for this man who has given you everything. “Yes, we are.”

Anton leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “I love you,” he whispers against your mouth.

“I love you too,” you reply, your voice filled with emotion.

As you settle into his embrace, you close your eyes, feeling completely at peace. The day has been long and tiring, but it has also been filled with love, laughter, and precious moments with your family. And as you drift off to sleep, you know that no matter what challenges come your way, you and Anton will face them together, with love and gratitude for the beautiful life you’ve built together.

454 notes · View notes

the-offside-rule · 7 months

Text

Charles Leclerc (Scuderia Ferrari) - Friends?

Requested: yes

Prompt: 18) "My mom thinks we're dating."

Warnings: not really? Just fluff tbh

Charles nervously led Y/n into his family's vacation home, where his parents and siblings eagerly awaited. "You stay here every year for the summer break and you never invited me?!" Y/n exclaimed, looking all around as Charles carried her suitcase in. "I thought you didn't like the whole glamour of Monaco." He teased. "That was before I saw your holiday home." She chuckled. Y/n couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and confusion, having been invited on this family vacation without much explanation. "We're all going to have dinner at around 8 so I will leave you to unpack. I have to go help my mum with the cooking."

"Can I come? I haven't seen your mum in ages!" Charles swallowed the lump in his throat, earning a concerned look from Y/n. "What did you do?" She interrogated. "What? Nothing! I've done nothing!" Charles replied in an attempt to defend himself. "So why are you suddenly being so....unlike yourself?" He shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe you've changed since she saw you last? I-"

"Y/n!" Charles stopped his talking as he heard his mother Pascale entering the room. Y/n's bright smile returned to her face as she spotted the wonderous woman walking towards her with open arms. "Oh, I've been waiting for Charles to bring you! I haven't seen you in a while!" She grinned, kissing Y/n's cheeks. "It's good to be here. I can't believe I haven't been invited sooner." Y/n and Pascale both looked over to Charles who stood by the suitcase. "Charles, it's wonderful that you brought Y/n along." She paused, looking to Charles and switching to French. "Est-ce qu'elle sait que je sais?" Charles shook his head. "Non, maman. Elle veut toujours que cela reste privé pour le moment."

"Eh bien, privé ne veut pas dire secret." Y/n looked between the pair, slightly confused as she didn't speak the language. "Mamon, s'il vous plaît-" He began, but Pscale began to walk away, waving her hands in the air. "Non, non, Charles. Je vais partir et aller cuisiner. Je m'occuperai de mes affaires et je te laisserai aider ta copine à s'installer." She turned back to Y/n. "Bisous!" She smiled, before closing the door. Charles let out a sigh of relief. "What was that about?" Y/n asked. "Just dinner. I will- Yes. I'll let you change for dinner and I'll see you at 8."

As the Leclerc family gathered around the dinner table, the atmosphere was filled with warmth and laughter. Charles Leclerc sat beside his friend Y/n, stealing glances and sharing smiles throughout the meal. Pascale, Charles' mother, couldn't help but notice the chemistry between the two. During the delicious main course, Pascale set her fork down and looked at Y/n with a twinkle in her eye. "Y/n, dear, Charles will not stop talking about you." Charles sighs as Y/n grins, highly amused. "Oh really? Isn't he just so sweet?" She teased.

"And Charles, how long did you say you two have been together?" Pascale asked, her eyes twinkling again with curiosity. Y/n's gentle expression had turned into knotted brows, confusion clouding her mind. She stole a glance at Charles, who offered her a reassuring smile before answering. "Oh, we've been together for a while now." Charles replied smoothly, his tone tinged with amusement, before reaching for Y/n's hand beside him. Y/n's mind raced as she tried to make sense of Charles' response. She had never considered him anything more than a friend, and now she found herself unwittingly caught in a web of deception.

"So, Y/n, what made you and Charles decide to start dating all of a sudden?" Pascale inquired with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Y/n nearly choked on her wine, as Charles masked a laugh. "Oh, you know Pascale, sometimes these things just happen." Y/n replied, trying to play along. Pascale's eyes sparkled as she nodded knowingly. Charles nodde too, playing along with the story Y/n had come up with. "That's wonderful! I'm so happy to hear that. I am so happy none of the journalists have found out yet. You two must be discreet." Y/n chuckled nervously, "Yes, we like to keep things private. At one stage, we were so secretive, I didn't even know we were together." The family laughed along as Y/n kicked Charles under the table. A silent wince left his lips.

"Well, I think I should go and clean these dishes. How about-"

"Charles and I will do them, Pascale. Honest." Pascale smiled approvingly of Y/n. "If you insist." Y/n nodded, grabbing Charles quite firmly to make him follow her to the kitchen with various plates. Once the door had closed, Y/n turned to Charles, frustration evident in her eyes. "What on earth was that, Charles?" Charles placed the plates into the sink. "Oh by the way, Y/n. My mum thinks we are dating." His poor attempt of a joke didn't land too well, but the tea towel Y/n had thrown at him did. Charles sighed, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Look, I didn't know how to explain why you're suddenly here, so I may have mentioned we're together." He explained. "What the hell, Charles? You didn't tell me about this plan! I thought we were just friends!" Y/n whispered, trying not to let their ruse be overheard.

Charles had stopped thinking of the plates now and had instead turned his focus to trying to stop Y/n from telling Pascale the truth. "I know, I know. My mom can be relentless with her questions about my love life. I didn't want her prying too much, so I improvised. Sorry about that." Y/n sighed, holding the bridge of her nose. "Well, it's a bit late now. We need to figure this out before it gets more complicated."

Charles nodded, engulfing her in a hug and resting his chin on top of her head. "Agreed." They pondered for a moment, before Charles came up with a plan. "How about we make a deal?" Y/n looked up to him, almost as if to tell him to continue. "We'll keep up the charade for a while, and I promise to come clean with my mom when the time is right. In the meantime, we can use this to our advantage somehow." Y/n raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Alright, but you owe me big time for this. What's the plan?"

Charles smirked. "We can use this 'relationship' to our advantage. You get to spend the summer here, and it'll keep my mom off my back for a while. Deal?" Y/n sighed again, running her hands through her hair. "Fine, deal. But this better not turn into a soap opera. We're just friends, got it?" Charles chuckled, reaching his hand out and shaking hers. "Got it. Just friends."

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pomefioredove · 3 months

Note

Hiii!! I was wondering if you could “I can’t stop thinking about you” with Jade? If ur prompt things are still open of course! If not that’s totally okay too!!

o7 anon

summary: "I can’t stop thinking about you" type of post: short fic characters: jade additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, not proofread and maybe a little ooc a part of this event

"And don't forget to lock the doors when you leave,"

Azul sighs, hovering in the doorway of the Mostro Lounge with his hands on his hips.

"Luckily, nothing was stolen last time I let Floyd take the closing shift, but luck is fickle,"

He pauses, turning to you. "I'm sure you, at least, will be able to handle something so simple."

You salute the tired-looking merman before the soft swoosh of the kitchen door interrupts the conversation.

"My, you have such little faith in me, Azul. I'm wounded," a smoother, much less tense, presence follows it.

You'd always wondered how Jade is able to sound imposing without ever actually raising his voice.

Azul huffs. "I clearly was not addressing you. Good evening to the both of you... Don't stay up too late,"

And with that, he's gone.

As soon as the door is closed and Azul's inky silhouette has vanished, you turn to look at the gentleman behind you.

"I didn't even know you were here,"

"I'm not supposed to be," Jade smiles, offering little explanation.

By now, you're sure he does that on purpose.

You don't feel like being baited into a conversation, but when your only other option is silence with Jade...

"So?"

"I was taking stock," he says. "Both metaphorically and literally. We're short on limes."

His strangeness radiates off of him like a mist. You narrow your eyes at him; he's hiding something, you're sure. But what are you supposed to do- interrogate him?

"I'll leave a note," you mutter, turning your attention back to sweeping.

This is your very first closing shift at the lounge; no customers, no Azul, no sounds except for your own breathing.

And Jade's.

He smiles again. "Shall I help? You'll be done faster with another set of hands,"

He could just leave. He's not even on the clock... if this is him looping you into some ploy to get overtime, you swear...

"If you would like,"

"Excellent,"

Jade disappears into the kitchen, taking that strange air of tension with him, and returns with a rag and cleaning solution.

He's completely silent, perusing the lounge as if it were an art museum, admiring the specks and stains on each table before wiping them down.

"You seem nervous," he says merrily, not even looking at you. "Are you afraid of the dark?"

"No," a half-truth. "I'm just tired." a lie.

"I've read that many human children develop a fear of the dark. What's more, is that it's not considered irrational. How fascinating,"

You focus on the bristles of the broom in front of you. The Mostro Lounge does get rather dark at night... all of Octavinelle does.

"It's not irrational," you mutter.

"Perhaps for you. But in the sea, a child being afraid of the dark would be as silly to us as a child being afraid of sunlight would be to you,"

You pause to look out one of the windows in the lounge, the thick pane of glass separating you from the inky depths. It's almost pitch black at this hour.

Ugh. You're letting him get in your head.

You hum. "Is that why you're here, then? Protecting me from the dark?"

Jade smiles, watching you out of the corner of his eyes. "No. I was only making conversation. You seemed uncomfortable with my presence,"

"I just was expecting to be alone,"

"So was I,"

You pause, turning to him with a questioning glance.

As vague an answer as ever, you think, though there's a certain gleam in his eye that's daring you to find out for yourself.

He meets your gaze. "You interest me,"

Jade says it plainly, his tone soft, as if he thinks he might scare you away with any sudden movements.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he hums. "And I hope you understand my meaning... I do not seek to make you uncomfortable."

You set the broom against the wall. "You're not,"

He mimics you, setting the rag and bottle aside. If you didn't know any better, you could've sworn you caught a look of relief on him.

"Good. I have no malicious intentions... This time,"

You take that as a joke. It's not very funny.

Jade chuckles. "Ah, don't roll your eyes at me. I'm only lightening the mood... I would like to get to know you better, after all," he pauses. "As a confidante."

There's something oddly genuine about this.

He's as calm as ever, but you can tell there's a current of vulnerability hiding beneath the surface.

You can't help a smile at the thought.

"Not an informant, then?"

He smiles back. "Not with you, no,"

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jade leech x reader

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wolfish-trickster · 5 months

Text

You made your choice

Gojo x fem!reader

Part 2

Previous part

Word count: 2.4K

Summary: you asked Gojo who is more important to him, you or his bestfriend. He indirectly chose and now he's experiencing consequences of his own action (probably for the first time in his life).

Warnings: bad grammar (possibly), typos, angst, very little comfort

Taglist: @ilovebattinson @catobsessedlady @abcdefghijklmmopqrstuvwxyz @nanao4k

A/N: I recomend listening to this song while reading (was listening to it while coming up with the story, the song and the story aren't exact copies of eachother but the vibe is about the same) and to those who know me THE LINK IS SAFE TO CLICK I DIDN'T LINK IT WITH WHAT YOU THINK I SWEAR. Enjoy the reading 😊

"Hey, can I come over?"

"Dude, you were just here!"

"I know, I know. But I need a shoulder to cry on."

"Damn, that bad? What happened? You and Y/N had a fight or...?"

"Can I just come over?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll leave the door unlocked."

Geto Suguru has had a lot of weird moments with his best friend, but that phone call certainly was...something. No explanation, no joking around, just straight to the point.

About fifteen minutes later he heard his front door open.

"Satoru, did you learn how to teleport or something? We live an hour away from eachother," Geto joked before he could even turn around and see the state his friend was in. Disheveled hair, dry lips, red eyes. Something terrible must've happened.

"It's Y/N," was all Gojo said before he sat down at the dining table.

"Figured that much," replied Geto and took a seat next to him and waited. He knew Gojo. That man can't shut his mouth to save his own life. He'll spill everything sooner or later.

Gojo let his head fall on top of Geto's and sighed. Geto patted his fluffy white hair and kept on waiting. Good thing was they both sat right across a big window. Geto could count pine cones on the nearby trees while he waited for Gojo to open up.

It didn't take long.

"Y/N left."

"WHAT?!" Geto pushed the white head off of his shoulder and took Gojo by the shoulders. "What happened? What did you do?" He stared him in the eye.

Gojo just blinked. "I don't know! I don't think I did anything wrong," he looked oit the window again. A squirell jumped from one branch to another.

Geto rolled his eyes and turned Gojo's face back to his. "Satoru, people don't just up and leave. You must've done or said something that hurt her feelings. What did I tell you about comunication being-"

"Being the cornerstone of a good relationship, I remember," he put his hands on Geto's cupping his face. "We did talk. And I thought we came to a mutual understanding. Then I offered to cuddle with her and went to shower but once I walked out she was gone. All her things too..."

"Wow," Geto let go of his friend's face, "what a bitch."

"Right?" Gojo agreed and leaned back on his chair so far it was threatening to fall. "I don't understand. She never complained before, never said anything, then all of a sudden she pulls a stunt like that, throws a scene, slips into her selfhating thing again-"

"Wait, she what?" Geto asked confused. He has met you enough times to know you were very cheerful and life-loving person. What was Gojo talking about? Selfhatred?

"She has these moments,"he explained, "thinks she's too fat, then not curvy enough, thinks she's too basic to be with a guy like me, so on. When it happened the first few times i comforted her but even after all those years she still thinks of herself as less than and I'm too damn tired of it. I thought all of those negative thoughts would go away the first time I assured her I love her no matter what," he crossed his arms on his chest and looked out the window again. "I'm starting to feel like she's doing it for attention."

"Listen Satoru, maybe she's just extremely selfconscious and people like her need reassurance like that. Besides if she was really doing that for attention she wouldn't leave withoit a word. She would leave hints for you to find her and come beg her on your knees or something."

Gojo chuckled. "Suguru, you've got to stop watching Shoko's telenovelas."

"I'm a slut for drama."

A phone rang.

In a speed of light Gojo pulled out his phone hoping to see your lovely face. The screen was black.

Geto pulled out his ringing phone and picked up. "Well well, speak of the devil," he smiled.

Gojo couldn't hear what him and Shoko were talking about. He could only take hints from Geto's facial expressions and his occasional answers.

"What do you mean you have to cancel it? Oh. Okay. I understand. And did she tell you what-" his eyes got wide. "But wait, that's not- I didn't- Actually he's right next to me."

Gojo tried to get closer to hear what they were talking about but Geto jumped up and walked across the room.

"Okay. Okay, i'll ask him. No, that's fine. Alright. Take care, both of you. Bye," he hung up. Then slowly turned around to face Gojo now standing opposite him.

"Now you'll tell me exactly what had happened between you two. You said she caused a scene, what was it about?"

His mouth turned into neutral line, just like when you started this whole mess. "She asked me to stop seeing you. Can you believe that? Trust me, if I told her to stop seeing her friends all hell would break lose."

"Isn't that what happened when she asked you?" Geto pointed out the obvious double standard but Gojo wasn't listening.

"Didn't you hear what I just said? She wanted me to spend more time with her. Like, what does she want me to do? Make me and her morph into one being?"

"It is true that you've been spending a lot of time with me," Geto held his chin between his fingers in a thought. "But I don't get one thing. If you being away from her this often was a problem for her then she must've shown signs, not encourage you to come and spend time with me when she was too busy herself."

"About that," Gojo nervously played with his shades. "I might've over-exagarated that."

"Don't tell me..." Geto pinched the bridge of his nose.

"She wasn't always busy when I came here."

"Satoru!" He half shouted. "You always told me she was too busy and couldn't come! Why would you lie?"

"Because i felt trapped!" He yelled back. "I felt like I couldn't even breathe. Yes, being around has brought me so much joy but I missed the thrill of being free. Just being with you and Shoko and doing whatever. Now I just feel like I'm chained to something that I kinda want away from but also not," the entire time he spoke he was pacing back and forth. "I just wanted to feel like the old times."

"So in other words you miss the feeling of being single but you also like the benefits relationship gives you," Geto concluded. "I thought you were better than this."

"And I thought you would understand," Gojo turned his anger against his best friend who was calmly standing in the living room. "But wait, I forgot, you have no one," he mocked.

"Damn right I don't. Which makes me even more pissed off when I see how you treat your own relationship! Have you got any idea how much I envied you for having someone waiting for you at home and welcome you after a long day? Or just someone to be there for you in general?"

Gojo got silent. He didn't know. Geto never showed it.

Geto took it as his chance to try speak some sense into Gojo. "Listen, you only feel like this because you've never been in a relationship. Feeling trapped is normal, I think. What's important is that you love her and you're capable of changing to get her back, right?"

Gojo was just looking at him.

"Right?" Geto said a bit more panicked.

"I don't know!" Gojo exclaimed and Geto facepalmed. "I don't know how to choose between her and you."

"Is that what she asked? For you to choose between her and me?"

Gojo shook his head. "No, I think she just wanted me to spend less time with you."

"So she didn't out right prohibit you from hanging out with me, she only asked for you to stay with her more often," Geto was slowly but surely getting the whole picture.

"Something like that," Gojo shrugged.

Geto sighed. "You royally fucked up Gojo Satoru."

"No, really?" sarcasm dripped from his words. "I still think I did nothing wrong. She has no right to aks me to spend less time with you."

"She does actually. She's your girlfriend of what, three years?"

Gojo nodded.

"Three years and yet you place her beneath a best friend. How would you feel like if she had to choose between her best friend and you and she went for the friend?"

Suddenly, Gojo looked like it finally hit him. "I'd feel...terrible," he sat down on the chair. "But... but I didn't tell her I would choose you. Both of you mean so much to me."

"On the same level or a different one? Satoru, understand that the love for a friend and a love for a lover are two separate kinds of love. You not being able to distinguish between them caused you to be in this mess."

Geto walked over to where Gojo sat and towere over him. He put a reassuring hand on his wide back. "Let me ask you this: what do you want right now? To be with her?"

Gojo stayed silent. He didn' know what he wanted. He hated the fact that he can't have both a friend and a lover. Choosing one would mean losing the other in Gojo's eyes. He can't afford that. Not when both of his most treasured people made him so happy.

Geto took his silence as a no. "You know what I think? You didn't want to have her. You just wanted others to see you have her."

His words cut like a knife. Why? Why do his loved ones have to be this cruel? He only looked up from the floor to his best friends almost black eyes. His own baby blues were watery. A lump took place in his throat. With a horror he realised how weak he feels. One half of him already packed her things and walked away, he can't let the other half do the same.

"Do you hate me now?" He whispered, affraid if he will speak any louder he would cry.

Geto took a while. Then shook his head. "No Satoru, just dissapointed."

Gojo nodded and looked back down to the floor.

Few minutes passed. None of them said anything. After Gojo was completely sure he won't fall apart he spoke up. "Do you think I can fix this?"

"Hmm," Geto hummed and pulled out a chair to sit opposite him. "Fixing means returning to its original state. I don't think things will go back to normal."

"But, I don't want to lose her. I know I don't!"

"Then you must set your priorities straight."

"But-" Gojo looked into Geto's eyes again. "That would mean I will loose you and that's equally as bad."

Geto shook his head. "You won't loose me. I'll still be here. You can still come over and we can still hang out. It just won't be like before."

"And that's what I don't want," Gojo mumbled and crossed his arms again while leaning into the backrest.

"Truthfully, if I had a girlfriend as amazing as Y/N I would spend a lot of time with her and not you."

Gojo swore he could feel his heart crack. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs, "that it's only natural to pick your lover over your friends. Not always, of course, but often enough."

Geto lifted his head to see his friend pale as a ghost, his skintone could now rival with his hair. He immediatelly regreted what he said. "But as I said, even if that was the case, even if you chose her as your top priority, which you should've as a good boyfriend, then it wouldn't mean I would cease to exist. And if I get someone in the future and I do the same you won't cease to exist to me either. You are my best friend, Satoru," he placed a hand on Gojo's shoulder, "and no girl will ever change that."

Gojo's ocean blue eyes let some tears slipped. He realized that his best friend is right, as always. Geto will always be there. And sure, even after he gets busy in his own life and won't have time for Gojo and his antics anymore, that wouldn't mean they would change into strangers to one another.

Gojo quickly wiped his tears and nodded. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I don't want tk fix this. I want to evolve this. I want her back. I want to learn to love her again. Properly this time."

"You sure about that?"

Gojo nodded.

"Even after she won't forgive you?"

"Why wouldn't she? She's smart. She will understand. Besides, how can you rehect the best man in the world?" He forced out a chuckle.

Geto shook his head. "Arrogant and full of yourself as always."

"Yeah, what can you do..."

Geto's phone buzzed again. But this time nkt from a phone call but a message. Geto took out his phone, gave it a short glance and put it back into his pocket.

"Was it Shoko?"

Geto shook his head. "Just my reminder. Me and Shoko planned to go see a movie."

"Oh, is that what you talked about canceling?"

Geto nodded. "Y/N knocked on her door and asked to stay a few days. From what Shoko told me she was a mess."

Gojo slumped forward on his chair and hid his face in his hands. "I never wanted any of this to happen."

Geto hummed. "Do you know what this is callled? Consequences. Hurts, doesn't it?"

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk gojo x reader #gojo satoru angst #gojo angst #jjk fanfic

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edenesth · 4 months

Text

TWTHH Spinoff: Love to Hate You [2]

Pairing: royal secretary!San x female scholar!reader

AU: historical au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 10.7k 🤡

Summary: San prided himself on his knack for building easy connections with women, viewing himself as a trusted ally for the opposite gender. Thanks to his deep bonds with his mother and sister, he possessed keen insights into the female mindset. Never did he imagine facing the ire of a woman, until he encountered a resolute female scholar with a strong dislike towards men.

A/N: I'd recommend listening to Laufey's Valentine while reading this, the song is quite perfect for this spinoff.

Part 1 | Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist

"Now, tell me, why were you crying?" you inquired, halting at the doorway of your house, careful to shield your mother from the conversation. You understood that she would only blame herself if she knew he was upset, despite none of it being her fault. Deep down, you knew she carried the burden of not being able to protect her children, always feeling like an inadequate mother.

Siwoo shook his head, "It's nothing, noona. I just... I was just overwhelmed with all the schoolwork on my first day. But don't worry about me, I feel much better after letting it all out," he reassured, attempting to alleviate your concerns. Yet, you couldn't fully accept his explanation. While a part of you ached to think he might have been bullied by his classmates, as you had feared, another part of you swelled with pride at his resilience.

That's my boy.

"Is that so? Well, come on then, dinner might be ready," you responded, and he brightened at the mention of food. "Dinner sounds good, I'm starving! Mother, we're home!" he called out excitedly, darting into your modest abode almost immediately.

"How was school, Siwoo?" your mother asked, her fingers smoothing down his unruly hair as he dug into his meal with gusto. Siwoo grinned and nodded. "It was okay! Master Lee looked after me really well, just like noona said he would!" Your mother smiled warmly and wiped a stray bit of food from his cheek. "That's good to hear."

You couldn't help but smile at their exchange, though you sensed Siwoo's words were meant to reassure your mother more than convey his true feelings. While Master Lee might have looked after him in their presence, you knew all too well the dynamics of school life and the possibility of bullying when no adults were around. Unfortunately, he would have to learn to navigate those challenges, just as you had.

Finishing your meal, you tousled your brother's hair. "So, what did that man from earlier say to you?" Your mother raised a curious eyebrow. "Man? What man?" Siwoo perked up. "Oh, that kind hyung-nim! He was just making sure I was okay."

You scoffed. "Kind? You don't even know him. People can seem nice but have hidden motives. Don't trust too easily, or he might want something from you." Turning to your mother, you elaborated, "It's His Majesty's royal secretary. We had an unpleasant encounter at the palace. I had hoped never to see him again, but somehow he was at Siwoo's school when I went to pick him up. How many coincidences can there be? I'm certain he's up to something. So, you," you directed a stern look at your brother. "Don't entertain him if he shows up again, okay?"

Siwoo nodded reluctantly, his expression turning sullen. Your mother shook her head. "Or perhaps he's genuinely nice...? He's an important figure, after all. You shouldn't make an enemy out of him, dear. I worry for you." You offered her a reassuring smile. "I'll handle it, mother. Don't worry about me."

Later that night, as you lay in bed, the soft breathing of your brother beside you with a comforting rhythm, you couldn't help but feel a pang of bittersweet emotion. Siwoo, once the tiny bundle you cradled in your arms, had grown so quickly before your eyes. Memories of his infancy flooded your mind, the moments when you'd rocked him to sleep and comforted his tears.

Now, here he was, trying to shield his own emotions from you, not wanting to burden you with his struggles. Your heart swelled with both pride and a tinge of sadness as you gently stroked his head, leaning in to plant a tender kiss on his forehead. How you wished he could remain your precious little brother forever, sheltered from life's harsh realities.

Yet, another part of you longed for him to mature, to become the pillar of strength this family needed. You yearned for the day when he would stand beside you as a protector, capable of shouldering the burdens that weighed heavily on your shoulders.

"Sweet dreams, little one," you whispered softly, your voice barely a whisper in the darkness. With a sigh, you closed your eyes, letting the tranquillity of the night envelop you as you drifted into slumber, your dreams filled with hopes for the future.

The next day unfolded much like the one before, with the familiar routine of dropping Siwoo off at school. Kneeling beside him, you tenderly adjusted his hanbok and smoothed down his hair, your actions a comforting ritual between siblings.

"Well, I have no new advice for you today, except to stay strong and not let the words of others affect you. Remember, they're just words, and you can choose not to let them bother you," you imparted, noticing the flicker of surprise in his eyes, as if he had been caught keeping secrets from you. With a warm smile, you gently pinched his cheeks to alleviate any worries he might have.

"Now, go on and get in there. And no causing trouble!" you teased, prompting a playful protest from Siwoo as he swatted your hands away and stuck out his tongue. "Bye, noona! See you later!" he called out cheerfully as he headed off to join his classmates.

As you watched him go, a soft smile lingered on your lips, filled with both pride and a touch of wistfulness.

He'll be fine; we've been over this.

You proceeded towards your educational institution to resume your own studies, putting aside worries about your brother for the moment. As you arrived at the entrance, you took a deep breath to ready yourself before entering, clutching your books tightly to your chest.

"Well, well, look who decided to grace us with her presence. Miss Smarty Pants finally showed up. Heard she even resorted to borrowing books from the royal library," Namgil, the scholar with the wealthiest father and your longtime tormentor, remarked as he annoyingly strolled alongside you, trailed by his group of cronies. One of them chimed in with a smirk, "Poor thing can't even afford her own books. Maybe if she catches the eye of some high-ranking officials in the palace, she won't need to study so hard at all."

Maintaining a neutral expression, you continued walking towards the foyer, where you could begin your studies undisturbed with the presence of teachers. Despite the taunting remarks being a regular occurrence during your journey from the outside to the inside of the institution, you had grown accustomed to them.

Reaching the foyer, you pivoted to face the group with a wide, sarcastic grin. "Well, boys, have you had your fill? If we're done wasting precious time trying to bring others down to boost our own fragile egos, maybe we should focus on our studies. After all, if we want to avoid squandering dear old daddy's money, we'll need to graduate. Time's ticking, gentlemen. Are we going to remain stuck in this childish behaviour forever?"

The satisfaction was palpable as you flashed a victorious smile and turned to stride into the foyer, leaving them no room for a rebuttal as a teacher emerged to greet the group. They hastily composed themselves, offering respectful bows and pretending as though nothing had happened.

Fools, you thought to yourself. This was precisely why you harboured such disdain for men. They were simplistic creatures, falling into one of two categories. The first, like Namgil and his cronies, were openly mean-spirited, condescending, and misogynistic. The second, exemplified by Royal Secretary Choi, was the cunning, duplicitous types who sought to earn your trust through false kindness before exploiting you. In the end, they were all cut from the same cloth.

At the end of the session, following a quiz intended to assess everyone's preparedness for the final examination, you unsurprisingly emerged as the top scorer once again. The teacher's announcement was met with the usual mixture of reactions, but your attention was drawn to his subsequent remarks.

"Miss Moon, once again, you've secured the top spot. Namgil, while second place may seem like an achievement, you should feel nothing but shame. All of you should. It's unacceptable to be outperformed by a woman. Study harder; I expect to see a different outcome in the next quiz."

You shook your head in disbelief at the teacher's words, seething inwardly at his ingrained bias. The implication that a woman should not surpass men in intellect spoke volumes about his archaic mentality. You were tired of being spoken about as if you weren't in the room, tired of the inherent sexism that permeated every aspect of your academic life. Graduation couldn't come soon enough; you were determined to prove these narrow-minded individuals wrong.

I'll show you morons.

"Oh boy, I know that look," Haneul remarked, shaking her head with a disapproving sigh as San emerged from his room the next day. Despite the dark circles under his eyes, his usual enthusiasm and determination shone through. She suspected her discouraging words from the previous evening had backfired, knowing her brother was just an optimistic idiot like that.

He scoffed, "What do you know? Go home already, noona. Your husband might start to worry if you keep visiting so often."

With a smirk, she lightly whacked him on the head. "I'm leaving today, don't you worry. But don't say I didn't warn you when whatever silly plan you might have ends up falling through. You men just love learning things the hard way, don't you? Let her be, Sannie."

"Yeah, yeah. Safe travels. I'll catch you later."

Haneul rolled her eyes in defeat. "Fine, fine. Send me away like I'm a nuisance. You should learn something from little Siwoo."

Turning back with a sarcastic grin, the royal secretary teased, "If you say so... love you, noona!" and blew her exaggerated kisses, earning a mockingly disgusted reaction. "Yuck! Save that for your future wife, gross!" she exclaimed, pretending to gag.

San strode through the palace corridors with newfound determination, his mind buzzing with plans and possibilities. He greeted the palace staff with a bright smile and a confident demeanour, earning curious glances from those he passed.

As he approached the royal study, he couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement. Today was the day he would begin executing his plan, the day he would show Scholar Moon that he was different from the rest, that he was sincere in his intentions.

Entering the king's presence, San found himself greeted with the warm smile of His Majesty. The elderly man's eyes twinkled with amusement as he observed his secretary's energy.

"You seem quite cheerful today, Royal Secretary Choi. Anything exciting happening in your life?" the king inquired with a chuckle as their daily meeting concluded.

San's grin widened, his heart racing with anticipation. "I suppose so, Your Majesty. I won't say more until I see positive results," he replied cryptically, unknowingly leaving the king to interpret his words as he wished. Little did the fool know, his vague response led His Majesty to believe he was referring to romantic pursuits.

The king's face lit up. "Oh, I can't wait to hear the good news. Best of luck, my boy. That's all for today. Carry on with your tasks," he said with a playful wink, dismissing San with a clap of his hands.

Secretary Choi bowed deeply, feeling grateful. "Thank you, Your Majesty!" he exclaimed before leaving the royal study, his mind already buzzing with plans to win over the female scholar.

He made his way through the library, exchanging nods with a few scholars absorbed in their studies. As he searched the aisles, hope waned with each passing moment. Nearly ready to give up, he reluctantly admitted to himself that you might not be there today. With a resigned sigh, he turned to leave.

But as he moved to exit, a flash of movement caught his eye. Turning back, he was stunned to see you tucked away in a quiet corner, fast asleep amidst a pile of borrowed books. A wave of tenderness washed over him at the sight of your peaceful form, and he approached you with silent steps, not wanting to disturb your rest.

He couldn't resist the urge to approach and observe you, struck by how serene and angelic you appeared in your slumber, a stark contrast to your usual tough and guarded demeanour. Seeing the sunlight streaming in from the nearby window and casting a glare on your face, he settled into the seat opposite you. With a gentle touch, he lifted his hand to shield you from the brightness, intent on preserving your peaceful rest.

Looking down at you like this, perhaps it was his innate sense of chivalry, but it stirred an intense urge to protect you, to help shoulder some of the burdens you must be carrying on those delicate shoulders of yours. He couldn't shake the feeling of admiration mingled with empathy as he watched you, lost in tranquil slumber amidst the chaos of the world around you. With a soft sigh, he longed to offer you more than just protection from the sun's glare, yearning to provide solace and support in any way possible.

As he watched you stir, letting out a small groan before readjusting your head and settling back into sleep, he felt a slight panic. However, his worry melted away when he realised you were merely shifting in your slumber. A soft sigh escaped him, accompanied by a gentle smile and a flutter in his heart at how endearing you looked.

Gosh, she looks adorable.

Resting his head on his palm, he continued to observe, noting the subtle signs of exhaustion etched across your beautiful face. Unlike other girls or women who likely had access to luxurious skincare products or ample rest to maintain their beauty, it was evident that any resources you had were dedicated to supporting your family and pursuing your studies. His gaze drifted to your hands, noticing the dry skin, blunt nails and paper cuts, evidence of both physical labour and tireless studying.

Gazing at you, his mind wandered to the challenges and hardships you must have faced throughout your childhood, shaping you into the resilient and guarded person you are today. He pondered on the beliefs you held about men, likely influenced by your past experiences. Working in the palace, San was all too familiar with the despicable behaviour of some men, having witnessed their deceit and manipulation firsthand. He understood, perhaps more than most, your strong aversion and distrust of men.

Yet, in his heart, he believed that you hadn't met men like him and his friends—men of integrity and genuine kindness. Determined to prove to you that good men existed, he resolved to show you through his actions. He was determined to be the exception, to demonstrate that not all men were as duplicitous as those you had encountered before. And in that moment, as he watched over you, he silently vowed to be the beacon of goodness and sincerity that you deserved.

Lost in his contemplations, he was jolted back to reality when he felt your hand push his away. Startled, he blinked, realising that the sun he had been shielding you from was now obscured by clouds. Your voice, sharp and incredulous, pierced through his thoughts.

"What in the world do you think you're doing, Royal Secretary Choi?" you demanded, your tone laced with annoyance and curiosity.

Flustered and caught off guard by your abrupt interruption, San quickly cleared his throat and straightened in his seat, feeling the weight of your scrutiny upon him. He could only imagine how his actions must have appeared from your perspective: waking up to find an uninvited man seated across from you, hand raised in an attempt to shield you from the absent sun.

"I-I can explain," he stammered, scrambling to find the right words to justify his actions. "I was just trying to—"

But before he could finish his sentence, you cut him off with a sarcastic smile, your words dripping with disdain.

"Let me guess," you said, your tone biting. "You just wanted to help? I thought I made myself very clear yesterday, but it seems I might not have. In case you missed the point, I'll repeat it again: I don't need your help. Thank you very much."

With that, you gathered all the books in your arms and swiftly exited, leaving him feeling chastised and uncertain of how to proceed.

As he sat frozen in his seat, watching your retreating figure, the royal secretary couldn't help but admire your firm resolve. Instead of feeling discouraged by your rejection, he found himself respecting you even more for it. Your unwavering stance showed him that you weren't one to let someone into your life easily, and in a world where men could be deceitful and manipulative, that was a reassuring trait. He couldn't help but feel a surge of admiration for you, even as he remained seated in the library, contemplating his next move.

Making your way out of the palace, your heart still raced from the encounter in the library as you clutched the stack of borrowed books close to your chest. Unbeknownst to Secretary Choi, you had been awake for some time, waiting to see what he would do, ready to catch him red-handed if he attempted anything untoward.

To your unpleasant surprise, you found that the glaring sun that had once been on your face was gone. Peeking through your lashes, you observed San going to great lengths to shield you from the brightness, even though he must have assumed you were still asleep. It was a small gesture, but one that spoke volumes about his character.

Even with his apparent kindness, you couldn't bring yourself to believe that he had done it without any ulterior motives. There had to be something he wanted from you; you were sure of it. You refused to let your guard down, you remained determined to stay wary of his intentions.

Despite your hopes that San would quit his efforts after the incident in the library, he proved to be annoyingly persistent. However, to your surprise, he no longer offered unsolicited help, seemingly aware that you had not asked for it. Instead, he chose a different approach to get closer to you.

Every day as you entered the palace, he greeted you with a bright smile and a friendly "good morning." You found his amiable demeanour irritating because it made it challenging for you to be rude to him when he was simply being a nice and sociable person. With no choice but to reciprocate his greetings, you returned them with a forced smile of your own, not wanting to appear impolite in front of other palace staff.

Today was no different, much to your dismay. Despite your multiple attempts to arrive either earlier or later than your usual time, he always seemed to be there. Deep down, you wanted to bluntly ask him if he had nothing better to do. Shouldn't a royal secretary be busy? Why was he always lingering around?

Approaching the entrance and spotting him, you couldn't help but slap a hand on your forehead in frustration. You tried to turn away, but he called out to you before you could make your escape.

"Scholar Moon! I see you're here early today. Good morning!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

You cursed under your breath and reluctantly turned back to feign a smile, bowing respectfully. "Indeed, I am... Good morning, Royal Secretary Choi," you replied through gritted teeth.

He beamed at you and gestured for you to join him. "Come, let us head in together!"

Letting out a sigh of disbelief, you put on your best fake smile and complied, knowing it wouldn't be in your best interest to be rude to someone of such high importance in front of other people. Damn it, you couldn't wait for the day to be over already.

Walking beside him, you sought a moment of tranquillity, but as expected, he initiated an unwanted conversation like always.

"How's Siwoo adjusting to school?" he asked, his tone overly chipper.

Suppressing the urge to roll your eyes, you briefly squeezed them shut before replying, "He's doing well. Thank you for asking."

His smile widened at your response. "That's great! I just hope he's feeling better than the last time I saw him. Poor boy was so upset."

You sighed, cutting him off before he could continue. "Yes, but he'll live—"

Before you could finish, a group of rushing court ladies surged around the corner. "Out of the way! Concubine Eom Heebin is giving birth!" Amidst the commotion, you were shoved aside, but a firm pair of arms caught you, guiding you to safety—San's arms.

You landed against his chest with a huff, and he peered down at you with wide eyes. "Careful there, watch your step! You alright?" His words lacked their usual formality, driven purely by instinct.

San gulped audibly, his gaze lingering on your features as if trying to memorise every detail. He marvelled at how beautiful you looked up close, relishing the sensation of holding you tightly against him. It felt strangely satisfying to shield you from danger, to have you vulnerable in his arms. There was an inexplicable desire within him to be the only one who knew how it felt to hold you like this.

Meanwhile, you felt a conflicting array of emotions swirling within you as you found yourself in his embrace. Despite your best efforts to maintain your dislike for him, you couldn't deny the unexpected sense of safety and comfort you felt in his arms. It unsettled you, this lack of disgust, and you hated how nice it felt, how it threatened to unravel the walls you had carefully constructed around your heart.

Realising your proximity, you blinked rapidly and pushed yourself away. "Y-yes, I'm fine. Thank you..." For once, you meant it.

Days passed, and you found yourself in a state of inner conflict whenever you were around him. Previously, you had to force yourself to maintain politeness and hide your disdain for him, but now, it was becoming increasingly difficult to be unpleasant.

You despised this newfound feeling of guilt he stirred within you, as if he was silently reproaching you for your past behaviour. Moreover, he continued to prove himself to be just as kind as everyone claimed, further complicating your emotions.

Hate brewed within you—not for the royal secretary as a person, but for the way he was challenging your beliefs about all men being alike. He made you start to doubt the certainties you once held dear, and you resented him for it. Most of all, you detested how he was making it difficult for you to maintain your animosity towards him.

Regardless of the swirling new emotions within you, one thing remained constant: your determination to avoid him at all costs. You were sick and tired of the conflicting feelings he stirred within you, and you knew that indulging in them would only serve as a distraction from your studies.

You needed to maintain your focus and drive, especially now when your responsibilities weighed heavily on your shoulders. The last thing you needed was to be sidetracked by unnecessary emotions brought about by a man, of all things.

But of course, life seemed determined to defy your efforts. Despite your best attempts to avoid him, it felt like he was everywhere you turned. With each passing day, you found yourself encountering him more frequently, almost as if he were purposely crossing your path.

The realisation was hard to swallow: you were seeing him more often than your own mother and younger brother combined. It was infuriating to admit, but no matter how hard you tried to evade him, he seemed to find a way to appear wherever you were.

As you finished up your studies and prepared to leave the palace, a sense of relief washed over you. Today had been the first in what felt like an eternity without a sighting of Royal Secretary Choi. Hope flickered in your heart as you packed up your belongings, eager to leave the palace behind and reunite with your little brother.

But just as you approached the main entrance, the sky darkened ominously. Thunder rumbled, and lightning streaked across the sky before a torrential downpour engulfed the area. "No, no, no, not now! Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" you muttered under your breath, feeling frustration bubbling up inside you.

With no umbrella to shield you from the rain, you hurried to seek refuge under the closest shelter you could find: the awning of a nearby building. The sudden change in weather dashed your hopes of a smooth departure, leaving you stranded and drenched.

The thought of Siwoo waiting for you added to your unease. You cursed your lack of preparation, knowing that he would now have to endure more time with his bullies. It was another setback in a day that had promised to be free of Choi San's presence.

Yep, I'm convinced god hates me.

While you sheltered under the awning, your gaze remained fixed on the entrance, torn between the desire to run out into the rain to your brother and the realisation that falling sick was not an option. Too many people depended on you—your mother, your brother, and all the women in need of your assistance. You couldn't afford to be unwell, not with so many responsibilities resting on your shoulders.

Lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice a figure approaching from behind until the raindrops abruptly ceased falling around you. Looking up, you were met with the sight of an umbrella being held over your head. Startled, you turned to see San standing beside you, concern etched on his features.

"Are you alright, my lady? Please allow me to escort you to your destination," he said, his voice gentle and sincere.

The royal secretary's surprise was evident when he realised it was you, causing him to stumble over his words in an attempt to explain himself. "O-oh! It's you, Scholar Moon! I swear I didn't realise it was you, I thought you were a palace staff or someone else! I mean, I wasn't trying to offer help when you didn't want it, or maybe I was..."

He paused, then continued, "But I promise, I'm not making any assumptions! I can leave if you want me to... I'll leave the umbrella with you, of course, because obviously little Siwoo is waiting for you. Sorry, I don't mean to ramble... I just— here you go." Without waiting for your response, he thrust the umbrella into your hand and hurried off into the rain, leaving you standing frozen in bewilderment, trying to comprehend the unexpected encounter.

As you stood there, still holding the umbrella he had left behind, you couldn't shake off the words he had said. They lingered in your mind, his voice echoing gently, making you question your own feelings. For the first time, you understood why women might find him charming. Despite your resolve to dislike him, you couldn't deny his physical attractiveness and his gentlemanly nature.

But as you thought about it further, a new emotion crept in—an unsettling realisation that his kindness wasn't reserved for you alone. He would be just as sincere and helpful to anyone in need. Suddenly, a twinge of jealousy stirred within you. Why did it bother you that he treated others with kindness? Why did you feel upset that you weren't the only one receiving his attention? What was wrong with you?

Confusion clouded your thoughts as you grappled with these unfamiliar feelings. You couldn't understand why it mattered to you whether he was nice to everyone or not. But the fact that it did matter left you feeling even more bewildered. What were these emotions, and why the hell were they stirring within you now?

Lord, I must be out of my damn mind.

In the days that followed, your annoyance with San returned, but this time it was for a new reason—one you stubbornly refused to acknowledge. Despite your efforts to keep your distance and maintain your walls around him, you found it increasingly difficult to do so. His presence seemed to linger in your mind, his gentle demeanour and persistent kindness chipping away at your defences.

Meanwhile, the royal secretary remained hopeful after his recent encounters with you. He noticed the subtle changes in your behaviour—the once sarcastic smiles and curt words slowly giving way to genuine attempts to interact with him. He knew your pride was likely the barrier keeping you from fully opening up to him, but he was determined to break through it.

Perhaps it was the sense of accomplishment he felt, but he found himself increasingly consumed by thoughts of you and the challenge of breaking down your barriers to earn your trust. Each day, he eagerly anticipated going to work, knowing he might catch a glimpse of your beautiful face. Lately, he noticed it revealing more than just anger and disdain—it showed hints of other emotions too. He longed to witness them all, to be the first and perhaps the only one to see them. He felt a swell of pride, both in himself and in your progress, even if you were unaware of it.

"You like her, don't you?" San's gaze snapped up to meet his mother's, his chewing momentarily halted as he raised a questioning brow. "What are you talking about, eomma?"

She grinned, gesturing towards the additional lunch box he had instructed the servants to prepare for work that day. "Oh, you mean Scholar Moon? I mean, yeah, I guess I do...? I like everyone," he responded with a cheerful beam. However, her expression shifted to one of knowingness as she crossed her arms over her chest. "That's not what I mean, you silly boy. You have feelings for her, don't you?"

He choked on his food in surprise at her assertion. "Huh? Wh-what makes you say that? You know about my mission to prove her prejudice wrong, that's all there is to it. I don't feel any differently about her than I do about any other lady."

With a knowing smirk, the elderly woman caused him to wince. It was the same sarcastic expression his sister always wore before delivering a harsh truth. "Oh yes, because you make a point to greet every female palace staff member every morning, ask about all their family members, never stop talking about them, and ensure to pack extra lunch for them all just like you do for Scholar Moon, isn't that right?"

As his mother's words settled in, a sudden revelation struck San like a bolt of lightning. It was as if a veil had been lifted, revealing a truth that had been hidden from him until now. He couldn't pinpoint exactly when it had begun—perhaps it had lurked beneath the surface from the start, waiting for the right moment to surface.

He had been so preoccupied with proving to you that he was different, so focused on challenging your prejudices, that he hadn't stopped to consider his own feelings. What had started as a mission might have morphed into something more. The concern and care he felt for you went beyond mere kindness; it was a genuine desire to protect and support you.

Reflecting on the moments when you had occupied his thoughts—the incident in the library, the near-accident with the court ladies—he realised that his feelings ran deeper than he had admitted to himself. Even as he grappled with the conflict between wanting to take care of you and respecting your independence, he couldn't ignore the truth any longer. Choi San was a man with a lot of love to give, and he wasn't shy or ashamed to admit that he had developed feelings for you—feelings that transcended friendship or admiration. It was a realisation that both surprised and invigorated him, filling him with anticipation for what the future might hold.

But he wasn't stupid; he understood that acknowledging his feelings didn't equate to knowing yours or if you could ever reciprocate them. Despite this, he chose to find contentment in this understanding. He wouldn't expect anything from you in return. Your happiness would suffice to make him happy, even if it meant remaining mere acquaintances.

With this resolve, he bid his parents farewell before heading to work, his heart fluttering at the prospect of seeing you once more.

Later that afternoon, San strolled around the area where you often spent your lunch breaks. Spotting you in the secluded pavilion near the royal library, he felt a wave of relief wash over him. Instead of your usual packed lunch, you were nibbling on a meagre steamed bun. Approaching you with a grin, he greeted you.

"Good afternoon, Scholar Moon. I see you're having lunch as well," he greeted, and you nodded quickly, feeling self-conscious and embarrassed about your modest meal. Just as you were about to ask him what he wanted, he revealed the bag of lunchboxes he had been hiding behind his back.

"That's wonderful then. My family estate kitchen staff seemed to have made an extra set of lunch, and I was just wondering if maybe you would like to have it," he offered. You raised a sceptical eyebrow. "An extra set? That seems highly unlikely to happen."

He tried to maintain his composure despite being caught in a fib. "Fine. If you're not interested in it, I'm sure there are other palace staff who would enjoy it," he said, turning to leave. Panic surged within you as he started to walk away. "W-wait! I'll take it... please," you pleaded, reaching out to grasp his arm. With a satisfied nod, he settled down beside you.

That's what I thought.

As you opened the meticulously prepared lunchbox, a look of awe graced your features. The royal secretary chuckled at your adorable expression. He observed as you hesitated for a moment, glancing at him as if seeking approval before starting to eat. With a nod of encouragement, he joined in.

Little did you know, he had overheard some court ladies discussing the struggles faced by a female scholar, which could only be you, as you were the only one known. They recounted your struggles to afford essentials at home due to your brother's school fees and your own lack of income, all because of your dedication to your studies.

As you both began to eat, you didn't notice San biting his lip to hold back his laughter. Your eyes had widened and sparkled with innocent amazement at the flavours, a look he had never seen before. The sight made his heart flutter, confirming his feelings for you. He wanted to protect that innocence forever and be the only one to witness this endearing sight. He could easily picture spending time with you like this for life, and he knew he wouldn’t complain.

When you looked up and caught him staring, he quickly returned his gaze to his food. You blushed and checked your lips for any stray rice, wondering why he had been looking at you like that. Like a creep.

How annoying.

Relieved that there was nothing on your face, you continued eating. However, you furrowed your brows as you noticed the secretary picking at his food from the corner of your eye. Unable to contain your curiosity, you turned to see him pushing aside all the greens in his container. Raising an eyebrow, you asked, "Saving the best for last?"

He chortled, "Like hell I am."

Realising what was going on, you scoffed, "Seriously? The great Royal Secretary Choi doesn't eat his vegetables? Even my brother eats his. You should be ashamed of yourself."

He sputtered, clearly embarrassed, and you snickered at how flustered he appeared over your teasing. Glaring at you, he retorted, "Is that any way to talk to the kind samaritan who just treated you to lunch?"

You shrugged. "I'll treat anyone who doesn't eat their veggies the same way, with discrimination. If you won't eat them, give them here, you big baby."

He pouted, about to hand them over until you added, "Siwoo's going to be so disappointed when he hears about this. He looks up to you and thinks of you as his role model, you know." You gasped, realising you had revealed something you hadn't meant to share, but all your regret dissolved when you saw his reaction to your words.

San's jaw dropped, and he quickly snatched the greens back, stuffing his face with them. "There, I finished them. You happy now?!"

You couldn't help but burst into laughter. In moments like this, you wondered how wonderful it would be if all men were like him. You admired how his eyes crinkled as he joined in your laughter. He could be so annoyingly cute and likeable. Gosh, you hated it. You hated how warm he was making you feel, hated how good it felt.

As the two of you calmed down from your giggles, the smiles remained on your faces. You finished the last of your food, neatly wrapped the lunchbox back up in his bag, and handed it to him. "Thank you, Royal Secretary Choi," you said, your voice sincere.

His heart skipped a beat at your genuine gratitude. With a nod of acknowledgement, he reached out to take the bag from you. Both your breaths hitched when your fingertips brushed against each other. The unexpected contact sent a small, electric jolt through you both, causing you to momentarily lock eyes.

San's eyes softened, filled with an emotion you couldn't quite place. The world seemed to pause, and for a fleeting moment, the two of you were the only ones that existed. You could feel your pulse quickening, the warmth of his touch lingering on your skin.

"You're welcome," he finally replied, his voice barely above a whisper. He took the bag, his fingers lingering a moment longer than necessary before pulling away.

You quickly looked down, trying to steady your racing heart. "I should get back to my studies," you said, standing up and smoothing out your clothes.

"Of course," he replied, standing up as well. "Take care, Scholar Moon."

With a final nod, you turned and walked away, feeling his gaze linger on your back. A small smile tugged at your lips as you wondered what it would be like if moments like these with him became a regular part of your life. You found your own thoughts baffling, as no man had ever made you feel such emotions before.

Could he possibly... be the only exception?

No, he could not.

You should have known better. Should have recognised the trouble he brought along despite his constant insistence on helping. Initially, you felt grateful for his frequent gestures, like bringing you lunch and accompanying you to pick up your brother from school during the rainy season, the three of you huddled under his umbrella—a sight that warmed your mother's heart.

For a while, it felt like being on Cloud 9. But in hindsight, you must have lost your mind to let him get so involved in your life. It seemed foolish to rely on him so much, to let him become so close to you and your family.

And inevitably, there were consequences.

You reached your breaking point when the bullying at your educational institution intensified. Rumours about you and the royal secretary spending time together spread like wildfire among your fellow scholars, leading to endless torment.

As you tried to leave the institution, hoping to find solace at home after enduring what felt like hours of torment, Namgil and his cronies blocked your path, their mocking laughter echoing around you like a cacophony of cruelty.

"Leaving so soon, Miss Smarty Pants? Off to see your beloved Royal Secretary Choi, I presume?" he jeered, his voice dripping with malice. "Who would've thought your success was all thanks to him? Must have made quite the deal to get him to treat you so well. Bet you're not so innocent anymore, huh?"

His words cut through you like knives, causing your steps to falter as you froze in place, the implications of his cruel insinuations hitting you like a ton of bricks. "Should've known," Namgil continued, his tone laced with venom. "All you women are good for is spreading your legs."

You felt a wave of humiliation wash over you, a burning rage rising up within you as you struggled to hold back tears. They had no idea what you had been through, the sacrifices you had made to get to where you were. But at that moment, all you could do was stand there, feeling utterly defenceless against their relentless cruelty.

Meanwhile, San couldn't shake off his growing concern for you. He hadn't caught sight of you all day, and his inquiries around the palace yielded no sightings of you either. The court ladies confirmed that you hadn't visited the palace at all, which only deepened his worry. You had never missed a day before, and the thought of you being sick or in trouble made his heart sink.

Leaving work that day, the extra lunch he had prepared for you still in his hands, he hurried over to your brother's school in hopes of finding you there. However, his heart sank further when he only found Siwoo waiting by the entrance as usual. The child's face lit up when he spotted the royal secretary.

"Hyung-nim! Did my noona send you here to pick me up today?" Siwoo asked eagerly. The royal secretary shook his head, his concern evident in his expression.

"No, Siwoo-yah. She hasn't been to the palace either. Do you know where her institution is?" San inquired. Your brother's expression turned worried, but he nodded.

"Yes, I do! Let's go find her!" Siwoo suggested, but San gently shook his head.

"No can do, you tell me where and I'll go. Your mother will worry if neither of you are home," San explained. The child reluctantly agreed, but not without making a request.

"Okay, but promise me you'll bring her back," Siwoo pleaded. The secretary gave him a reassuring smile and pinky promised him.

"Don't worry, I will."

As San approached your institution, relief washed over him when he spotted your familiar figure not too far from the main entrance. However, his relief quickly turned to concern when he noticed you weren't alone. Surrounding you were a group of male scholars, their expressions and body language indicating that the conversation was far from pleasant. His heart twisted uncomfortably at the sight of your wet eyes and defeated look. Were you being bullied?

With clenched fists, he stepped closer, his brows narrowing in anger as he overheard snippets of the conversation. It was clear that the group was making disparaging remarks about you. His blood boiled when he heard the leader of the gang suggesting that you had been selling your body in exchange for your success. How dare they?

These bastards.

While San understood that your previous encounters with men must have been unpleasant for you to harbour such a strong dislike for them, witnessing you being treated in such a manner was a first for him. It was no wonder you hated them so much; who could blame you? But he was here now, and he was determined to change that.

He stalked over, his towering and intimidating presence startling the scholars. "Are my ears deceiving me, or did I truly just hear such vile words coming from a scholar?" he demanded, his voice icy and authoritative. "Watch your words because rest assured, your headmaster will hear about this. Not only were you being misogynistic, but how dare you insinuate such despicable things about Scholar Moon? This woman has more integrity than all of you combined. She doesn't need any man's backing—not even mine—to get where she is today. She is fully capable of achieving that on her own, and I think you know that, given how your insecurity and jealousy are blatantly showing through your nasty actions."

The scholars' faces turned pale, their bravado evaporating in the face of the royal secretary's fury. He stepped closer, his fists clenched, ready to defend you from any further insults. The leader of the gang opened his mouth to retort but quickly thought better of it, swallowing his words and casting a nervous glance at his friends.

"L-let's go, guys," Namgil stuttered, bowing before scrambling away. They weren't stupid. This was His Majesty's royal secretary, and if he reported them to the king, they would face dire consequences. There was nothing to gain from angering him.

San turned his gaze to you, his eyes softening. "Are you okay?" he asked gently, his voice a stark contrast to the harsh tone he had just used.

Instead of a grateful nod like he had expected, you met him with a darkened expression. Taking deep breaths, you tried to hold back your tears and calm yourself down. When you remained silent, glaring at him, he sighed. "Was that too much? I—I'm sorry, I know you can defend yourself, but I just—"

You cut him off, speaking in a low voice, "This is all your fault, Choi San."

He froze, his heart clenching painfully at the last words he expected to hear from you. You continued, harshly wiping away stray tears with your sleeves, "If only you'd just leave me alone like I asked from the beginning… I've been bullied all my life, but the usual nonsense I could endure. Not once—never—had anyone ever implied something like that," you whispered the last part. "And it's all because of you. Haven't you done enough? If you truly want to help me, then please—god—please, just leave me alone."

With that, you walked out of the institution, leaving him reeling in shock and hurt at your words. This was not how he had imagined things would turn out.

San finally realised that maybe his sister had been right. If distancing himself would make you happier, he’d do it, even if it meant suffering from being away from you. From that day onwards, he would make sure to keep his distance, honouring your wish.

You went to your younger brother’s school that evening and were surprised to hear that he had already been picked up. Panicking, you rushed home and were relieved to see Siwoo safely at the entrance, waiting with your worried mother. He clung tightly to you as you stroked his hair.

"Who brought you home?" you asked softly.

He sniffled, "Sannie hyung-nim… he promised he’d bring you home, but he lied. You came home alone."

You sighed, holding the child closer as guilt slowly crept into your heart. "He didn’t lie, Siwoo-yah. He did come to me, but I was the one who left him."

Your mother watched you with concern, her eyes reflecting relief and confusion. She reached out, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. "What happened, dear?"

You hesitated, the weight of the day's events pressing down on you. "I— I just... he won't bother us again, mother. I made sure of that."

Siwoo looked up at you, his eyes wide with innocence and confusion. "But why, noona? He was so nice to us."

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you hugged your brother tighter. "It will protect us. It will make things easier."

You were aware that you were trying to convince yourself more than anyone else. But you would rather die than admit it. You were Scholar Moon, the first female scholar in Joseon, and you didn't need a man to survive. You never did, and you never would. Choi San was merely a hindrance, but he was now in the past. Things would finally return to normal. You would excel in your exams and fulfil your dreams. Everything would be fine.

Or would it really?

Days following that proved much harder than anticipated. The royal secretary had indeed left you alone, as you'd requested. While you should have been glad, a part of you felt irritated by his obedience. You resented that he hadn't fought harder, but you knew you had no one to blame but yourself. You felt difficult to deal with. Surely, a man as good as Choi San deserved someone better than you. He had gone above and beyond to help you for the past few months, yet all you gave him in return were harsh words you... likely didn't mean at all.

Wait, what even are these thoughts? None of that should matter; it's all in the past. You needed to focus on your studies.

With a massage of your temples, you attempted to reread the same sentence you had been struggling with for the past hour. However, endless thoughts of that stupid man kept resurfacing, haunting you and weighing heavy on your heart with an unpleasant feeling you wished would disappear. God, did you hate him. Why was he so annoying even when he wasn't around?

You hated how he consumed your thoughts.

Everywhere you turned in the palace, he lingered in your mind. Each time you picked up your brother, he intruded into your thoughts, and even passing by your educational institution's entrance reminded you of him. What was wrong with you? What had he done to you? You were fine before meeting him, and you would be fine now. You kept repeating this to yourself, but all resolve crumbled when you saw him approaching one morning in the palace. It was the first time seeing him since that day—the day you'd uttered those cruel words to him.

You froze, clutching your books tightly to your chest, bracing yourself for whatever words or actions he might deliver. However, your heart sank when he simply passed by with a respectful nod. Why did that sting so much? You had brought this upon yourself. The urge to chase after him was overwhelming, and you squeezed your eyes shut to suppress the longing.

Pull yourself together, this is for the best.

You didn't need him.

Or did you?

Why does it hurt so much?

The atmosphere between you and the royal secretary had shifted, turning awkward and strained. Everyone in the palace could sense the change, the tension that now defined your interactions—or rather, the lack thereof. The once easy camaraderie had vanished, replaced by uncomfortable silences and fleeting, cautious glances. It wasn't long before word reached Namgil, who seized the opportunity to make your life even more miserable. The bullying intensified, but you endured it all, determined to pass your final exam without incident.

Time flew by, even as you suffered.

You buried yourself in your studies, hoping to push him out of your mind. Every page you turned, every line you read, was an attempt to forget the way he made you feel. The palace corridors, once filled with the warmth of his ever-comforting presence, now echoed with your lonely footsteps and the quiet rustle of your books.

Days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, your final examination was approaching. The weight of the upcoming test pressed down on you, but it was a welcome distraction from the pain in your heart. You could still see him in the palace, still catch glimpses of his familiar figure in the distance, but the gap between you felt insurmountable.

On the eve of your exam, you found yourself in the palace library, surrounded by stacks of books and scrolls. The dim light of the lantern cast long shadows across the room, mirroring the shadows in your heart. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing thoughts.

Then, without warning, the door creaked open, and there he was. San, standing in the doorway, looking just as conflicted as you felt. Your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, neither of you moved.

"Scholar Moon," he finally said, his voice low and hesitant. "I heard your final exam is tomorrow. I wanted to wish you luck."

You nodded, trying to keep your voice steady. "Thank you, Royal Secretary Choi."

He took a step closer, his eyes searching yours. "I know you asked me to leave you alone, but I just want you to know that I believe in you. You are more than capable of achieving your dreams."

Tears threatened to well up in your eyes, but you blinked them away. "I appreciate that," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, it seemed like he might say more, but then he simply nodded and turned to leave. As the door closed behind him, you felt a pang of regret. You had to fight everything in you to resist running after him, holding onto him, telling him how much you regretted everything, how wrong you had been, how much you… missed him.

No, stop it.

You took a deep breath and returned to your books, knowing that tomorrow's exam was the key to your future. You had to stay focused. You had to succeed, even if it meant pushing aside the feelings you couldn't quite shake.

The next morning, your mother smoothed your robes as you prepared to leave for the palace where the final examination would take place. Her hands were gentle, but the pride in her eyes was unmistakable.

"This is it," she whispered, a soft smile on her face. "All your hard work will pay off today. You will finally be someone in this land. The first female scholar-official in Joseon."

You nodded, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves. Today was the day you had worked so tirelessly for. Today, you would prove yourself.

"You look beautiful, noona!" Siwoo cheered, his excitement contagious.

You smiled down at your little brother, ruffling his hair. "Thank you, Siwoo-yah. I'll make you proud."

As you stepped outside, the morning sun casting a golden hue over the palace grounds, you felt a surge of determination. You wouldn't have time to think about a certain annoying man who had been invading your thoughts more than you cared to admit. You wouldn't let the memory of Choi San torment you more than Namgil and his friends ever could.

With each step towards the examination hall, you reminded yourself of your goals. You were Scholar Moon, the first female scholar in Joseon. You were about to make history.

As you entered the courtyard, the confident bounce in your step reflected the culmination of years of hard work and determination. You were oblivious to the devious grins Namgil and a few other scholars exchanged as their gazes followed your figure.

"There she is," Namgil sneered, nodding toward the bridge above the large pond that everyone would later cross to reach the examination hall. A wicked idea formed in his mind. "Remind me, boys. It would be impossible for someone with drenched clothes to participate in the final examination, is that correct?"

They snickered, immediately understanding his implication. "Yes, I think that is right."

You moved through the crowd, nodding to a few familiar faces, your mind already focused on the examination ahead. You had no idea that behind you, Namgil and his cronies were plotting to ruin everything you had worked all your life for.

As the time approached for the scholars to cross the bridge and enter the hall, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the challenge ahead. This was your moment, and nothing would stand in your way.

Or so you thought.

As you stepped onto the bridge, Namgil and his cronies moved into position. With a quick, coordinated push, you were sent plummeting into the pond below. The cold water enveloped you, and panic set in immediately. You flailed, trying to keep your head above water, but it was futile. "H-help! Please!"

Laughter erupted from above. Namgil and his friends stood at the edge of the bridge, their mocking laughter ringing in your ears.

"Oops! Looks like Scholar Moon won't be making history today," Namgil taunted, his voice dripping with malice.

"I... c-can't swim..."

Everyone froze, the courtyard falling silent as your bully's laughter ceased. The realisation hit them like a ton of bricks: the pond was much deeper than they had anticipated, and you couldn't swim. Your desperate cries for help echoed in the sudden stillness, turning their malicious prank into a potential tragedy.

Panic spread among the scholars as they realised what they had done. What began as sabotage could now be seen as attempted murder, and their futures hung in the balance. Namgil's face drained of colour as he watched you struggle, knowing full well the consequences of their actions.

Fortunately for you, and unfortunately for them, San happened to be dropping by to observe the examination. His heart plummeted at the sight before him. Without a second thought, he pushed through the panicked crowd of useless men and plunged into the pond, desperate to save you.

His strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you up from the depths. He swam with determined strokes, bringing you to the safety of the pond's edge. As he hoisted you onto solid ground, he checked for signs of life, his own breath coming in ragged gasps from the effort and fear.

You coughed and sputtered, expelling water from your lungs as you gasped for air. San's relieved expression melted into one of fierce protectiveness and anger. He turned to face the group of terrified scholars, his eyes blazing with fury.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded, his voice a low growl. "Do you have any idea what you almost did?"

Namgil and his friends could only stammer incoherent excuses, their earlier bravado replaced by sheer terror. The royal secretary's intervention had saved you, but it had also sealed their fate.

A few examiners rushed out just in time to witness the chaos, their expressions darkening at the sight of the guilty, terrified faces of Namgil and his cronies. Realising the gravity of their actions, the bullies pleaded for mercy as they were escorted away to face the consequences.

The royal secretary turned toward you, gently brushing aside the damp strands of hair that clung to your face, his touch tender. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, his concern evident in his expression.

Your lips quivered at the tenderness in his voice and the worry etched on his face. He was the first and only man to care so deeply for you, and you couldn't fathom how you had repeatedly pushed him away. But now, tired of denying your feelings, you couldn't hold back the tears that welled up in your eyes. With a broken sob, you shook your head. "No… I'm not," you whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder.

He hesitated for a moment, startled by your sudden embrace, before returning it, enveloping you in his arms. "What's wrong? Tell me," he murmured, his voice laced with concern.

You sobbed harder, weakly hitting him. "It's you… y-you're so annoying, you know that? I hate it so much… hate that I love you."

He pulled back, wide-eyed, holding your shoulders at arm's length as he gazed into your tear-filled eyes. "Wh-what did you say…? This isn't a dream, is it?"

Through your tears, you chuckled at his reaction. "I finally muster the courage to confess to you, and that's your response?"

His smile broke through, the one you adored so much, the one where his eyes disappeared into slits, bringing warmth and comfort no matter how hard things got. Pulling you back into his arms, he stroked the back of your head. "I love you too..."

"How's your first day as a Scholar-Official, Moon?" inquired the royal secretary as you grinned at him. "It's going well, Royal Secretary Choi. Thank you for asking."

After he assisted you in petitioning His Majesty for another chance at your final examination, arguing that you were merely a victim of foul play, you were granted the opportunity. As anticipated, you passed with flying colours, ranking at the top of the batch. Finally, you held the prestigious title of scholar-official.

However, that wasn't the only change in your life. Choi San openly courted you, much to the king's approval, solidifying your status as a formidable power couple.

Leaning down to plant a kiss on your forehead, he smiled, "I'll see you after work."

You blushed and gently pushed him away. "Not here, please. But yes, I'll see you later."

As you left the palace after your day's work, you spotted a familiar face. Smiling, you greeted her, but your steps faltered when she bowed respectfully.

"Hi there. I remember you," you said, trying to recall where you had met her before.

She grinned knowingly. "Yes, it's good to see you again, Scholar-Official Moon. I suppose you believe my words about the royal secretary now, don't you? After all, you and he are the talk of the palace."

Your cheeks flushed, recalling that she had been the court lady to disclose San's identity during your initial encounter. You nodded awkwardly, trying to recover from your embarrassment.

She chuckled softly. "Well then, don't let me keep you. Royal Secretary Choi is waiting for you by the entrance."

Your heart soared at the sight of San standing by the entrance, just as the court lady had claimed. He was waiting for you, and the realisation filled you with an indescribable warmth. This wasn't just any man; this was your man. Yours alone. The sight of him, tall, handsome, kind, and caring, reaffirmed your feelings.

Without a second thought, you ran over, calling out, "Sannie!" He turned towards you, his face lighting up with that beam that never failed to make your heart race. His arms opened wide, and you leapt into them, feeling a rush of joy at being in his embrace.

"I missed you, honey," he whispered, his voice filled with affection.

You pressed your lips against his, relishing the moment as his response came swiftly, his kiss soft and reassuring. Pulling back slightly, a smile played on your lips, your heart dancing with joy. "I missed you too, my big baby," you teased.

"Come on, remember you wanted to learn more about my past?" you said, chuckling at the pout on his face as you pulled away.

He nodded eagerly, and you took his hand, leading him towards a place you hadn't visited in a long time.

"So, this was the root of your hatred for men…" he murmured, his gaze fixed on your father's grave as you stood beside him. You had just finished recounting everything that had transpired, from the beginning of your existence to the hardships you endured to reach where you are today.

"Yes, but you showed me that not all men are the same," you replied softly, your voice tinged with gratitude.

He gently squeezed your hands, turning to face you with a serious expression. "And I won't stop showing you. I promise I'll be different from your father and every other man you've encountered. I'll protect you and your family as if they were my own. I'll strive to be the best husband to you and father to our future child. You'll never have to suffer alone again. I'm here for you," he whispered, his forehead resting against yours.

You chuckled softly through your tears, nodding in response. "That's amusing… I don't recall agreeing to be your wife just yet. What are you talking about, Choi San?"

He let out a playful whine, "Hey! You—wait... you said 'yet' though, so that means... you will eventually, right?" he asked hopefully.

Teasingly, you stuck your tongue out at him before turning and running away. But deep down, you knew that no matter how far you went, he would always be there to catch you.

Of course, you idiot.

Holy crap, I was gone for like 2 weeks and I return to 1.85k+ followers?! ASDFGHJKL thank you all so much😭

Anyway, I hope this was decent, y'all... I swear, I didn't plan for this part to be so freaking long HAHA but I just felt like it would take quite a bit for her hatred to turn into love hehe I hope the ending didn't feel rushed or anything :3

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! ❤️

Tag list (1/9):

@itstheghostofmypast @huachengsbestie01 @minghaoslatina @weedforthoughtz @minkiflwr |

@cheolliehugs @the-kpop-simp @writingwieny @stayatinykatsy @skzline |

@green-agent @stayinhellevator @vampzity @tinyteezer @evidive |

@vantediary @superbbananananana @kimyeolchan @chocolate-scoups @decadentstrangernacho |

@vic0921 @marievllr-abg @sunnyhokyu @seungmin-in-thebuilding @heyitsmetonid |

@sansaurora9904 @darkestacademiamindsx12-blog @myblovedjyh @professormingisglasses @newworldwritings |

@chicken-fifi @thunderous-wolf @shythinggiver @madnpan @yandere-stories |

@anxiousskylar @frobin4ever @starssongs98 @dollce-exe @jan-l |

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@scuzmunkie @satsuri3su @mismatchfluffysocks @borntoshineateez @st4rhwa |

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@naps-over-degree @brown88 @sis-101 @lemon-sage17 @jcalicocatj

#edenesth #the way to this heart #love to hate you #twthh spinoff #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #choi san #ateez san #historical au #joseon era #choi san x reader #choi san x you #ateez fic

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anadiasmount · 1 year

Text

too attached - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: situationships weren’t meant to be easy. moving on felt like eternity. enclosed feelings needed to be let out but weren’t. and while it seemed so hard, why did it always pull the two of you back in?

wc: 4.2k

psa 🗣️: contains small suggested material, but overall situationship that leads to a fluffy ending at least ☝🏻😋 this was a request but i feel like i did so bad at this :((((((

You hated your current sight. The sight of a girl on Jude’s lap as they probably flirted and took shots off of each other. You downed the last bit of your drink and rested your hands against the marble bar stand. You sighed, wanting to hold back your tears but what was there to cry about? You weren't ever together and it looked like it wasn't ever going to happen. It was an attachment to strong, and there was now no denying how you truly felt about him.

They warned you, everyone told you to not get into an entanglement. That it would either make you or break you, looks like it is breaking you. You tried to avoid the ‘I told you so’ daggers your friends sent you, you truly didn't need that. Watching Jude with the girl and your friends scolding you wasn't your current cup of tea, so instead of being a party pooper, you got up and ordered three shots. Downing every single one of them. “Let's dance. He’s not even here!” you yelled loudly, pointing to your head, and swaying your hips as you walked into the floor.

If he wanted to play that game, then so would you.

When the first guy offered you a drink, you declined, he was too old and creepy. The second one was too young for your liking, giving you an ick at his attempt at a pickup line. The third was too preppy and much of a male chauvinist. But once the fourth one came by, you accepted his offer of getting you a drink in exchange for your number. He took you by your hand and ordered your drink of choice.

He wasn't the worst, but not the best. The conversation became awkward and tense at times, but it was just your head not being in the right place and constantly looking behind him to see if Jude was staring. Much to your dismay, he wasn't. Why exactly were you doing this if he wasn't even staring? For his attention? The last thing you wanted was to be like those girls who begged and nagged for his attention. To make it their personality.

“You seem distracted… Wanna dance?” the guy asked, his name going blank in your head. You nodded and followed him, feeling as he wrapped his arms around your waist as you slid your hands around his neck. Your bodies danced closed, smelling the small hint of his cologne, feeling as his body vibrated as he laughed when speaking to you, his hand tucking your hair back and slowly leaning in.

“The fuck?”

You pulled away confused, watching as Jude’s eyes glared at the guy in front of you. You rolled your eyes, grabbed the guy's hand, and began to walk away, but Jude stopped you, grabbing your wrist. “Who is this Y/n?” Jude asked, his hand waving at the two of you. “I'm Spencer, you are?” so that's his name. Spencer then placed you behind him, now firmly facing Jude. “I wasn't talking to you.”

“Well, now you are. So I'll ask again, who are you?”

“Like I said, I wasn’t talking to you. This is none of your business. I'm talking to her,” Jude went behind him and pulled you towards him, holding your sides. Spencer's eyes roamed down to Jude’s arms, now glaring at him, “Well John, or Josh, whatever your name is. I was dancing with her, so you've made it my business when you suddenly drag her away from me,” he replied.

“She’s taken,” Jude said suddenly, earning a confused stare from you. Spencer just scoffed, giving the signal he gave up and walked away. You rolled your eyes, and pulled away from his strong embrace, heading towards your friends. “Who was that?” Jude said, voice filled with jealousy, his brows nudging you to explain, but all you did was cross your arms. You didn't owe him an explanation, just like him.

“As you saw, that was Spencer. A guy who I danced with, and bought me a drink, even whispered in my ear how’d he treat me so right, and make me feel on cloud nine, offer to take me back to his,” you lie, observing how Jude’s head cocked to the side, not liking it one bit. “Oh really? How sweet of him, but even I could tell you weren’t into him,” he said, which is true. You rolled your eyes and continued walking over to your friends, feeling drained and slightly tipsy.

“Ready to go? Where is the guy?” your friend asked, then gave you a ‘Are you serious’ look when she saw Jude trailing behind. “He is waiting outside. Shall we go?” you say, but Jude holds you back, “We're not done talking Y/n.” Your friends say they’d wait for you outside, but they knew how this night would end. Just like in the past.

And they were right. Here you were on his bed, Jude on top of you, sleeping safe and sound, his small snores escaping his lips, snuggling closer to you than before. Reminiscing the night you spent, after telling yourself you would move on, but you were attached to him, and this was becoming harder than before.

He just knew all your breaking points, the spots that made you shiver and hide on the crook of his neck moaning his name softly, his hands leaving mental imprints as he gripped your waist and ass, his lips leaving purple marks along your pulse points marking you as his, but in reality, you weren't.

You rolled him over gently, successfully not waking him up, grabbing your clothes and quickly putting them on quietly, often looking back at Jude who now lays on his stomach, hand tucked under the pillow you were laying on. You were thankful for a second, knowing he was a heavy sleeper, and could sleep through anything. But once you were outside you just felt empty and lost. A piece of you is missing.

And it was like that. Jude and you promised each other once your situation became too much, you’d call it quits. You felt like you wouldn't be enough for him, especially as his name quickly grew after his move to Madrid. It's not just that, it's also probably the fact he doesn't see you the same way, only using you when he needs you for his desire. To bring him into his high, and then leave you for the next time. You finally wanted to settle down and have something stable, but Jude wouldn't offer that.

The feeling of being empty and lonely didn't leave, it was weeks and you had it hard to move on. Anywhere you looked, fate wasn't on your side, seeing billboards, and his image around your flat. In the kitchen, bedroom, shower, in your dreams, he was everywhere. It made you mad, for once in your life why couldn't it go the way you wanted? It also didn't help the fact he’d text you frequently, your heart breaking every time you’d reject him, knowing he was looking for a night and that's it.

—/—

Wanna come over today?

Busy. I can’t.

—/—

I got some wine and that cheese you love so much, all waiting on you.

Sorry, I made plans already :(

—/—

Just drove by a fair, are you free tonight?

No, I'm busy studying for a midterm. Sorry Jude!

—/—

Just stopped by your flat. Are you here?

Nope. I'm at a friend's house tonight.

Which friend?

Goodnight Jude…

—/—

Come to my next game. We can get dinner afterward and go to my flat.

Have too much going on! I wish you the best of luck though!

—/—

Just saw this new record store open, we should go.

Kinda broke after paying tuition for a summer class :/

I’ll pay for it, don't worry it's my invitation.

Sorry Jude, but you know me and I wouldn't feel comfortable with that.

Y/n, please. I insist.

Sorry Jude. But I'm busy after booking this deal.

—/—

Let’s go out.

Not in the mood.

—/—

What is up with you? Why are you so distant? I try to make plans but you make any excuse!!

I'm just busy Jude. I have to do school and work.

—/—

Jude groaned, throwing his phone on his bed, and bringing his hands to his face. He was confused by your sudden distant matter. He wanted to see you, no need to but you would turn him down every time. He was beginning to lose it, tempted to see if what you said was true. His chest felt heavy and hot, at the thought of you not being in his life. Shivers ran down his spine as he thought of you, the girl you were for him, his Y/n. He was desperate to have you. Not in that way, but just hold you against him.

To treat you like you deserved, to spoil you with underlying love and affection, to prove his feelings were more real than ever. That the only girl he thought of was you and only you. Jude knew you from the back of his hand, and the fact he knew you were avoiding him due to something going on in your life, wasn't left unwanted for him. You’ve been through this before, and he was there to help. But why did he suddenly feel he was the reason for you pulling away?

At the beginning, a year ago, he only wanted sex. There were no feelings involved at all. He admits it, and won't lie because that is all you were to him, and you felt the same way after looking for a rebound. But Jude became attached to you as well, not being able to get enough after every night you spent together. Your taste, your sounds, you. He painted a mental picture of you, and it was now the only thing he saw.

Five months into your relationship, he began to feel different about you. His heart would warm up at the sight of you, his hands sweating when you'd talked to him, becoming overly possessive and jealous of any men who were present next to you. But he wasn't sure, becoming insecure he wouldn't be what you wanted, or that you would still be into your ex. Which resulted in him saying nothing could ever happen between you two, that no feelings were involved.

Eight months into your relationship, or now situationship there had been too many encounters where he would let loose of his emotions, not being able to hold back how he felt. He’d make any excuse to see you, being safe in your presence. During that period, he would become more protective of you, but he also let you down without him knowing. To others, it looked like you were a couple, but he would make sure to say you were just friends.

Jude often found himself trying to get rid of his feelings for you by texting other girls in his DM’s. And when he’d tell you, he would notice the small form on your face. And when he was later seen in clubs with them, he knew that didn’t work either. Jude made the rule of it ever becoming too much to say so, to avoid drama and conflict, but he just couldn't. You were the only thing that raced through his mind, and sooner or later, he cared about you so much that he was scared of one day not seeing you.

After that night, well the morning after, when Jude woke up alone, he knew he would change things between you two. He was tired of avoiding how he truly felt, tired of how you weren't really his, just in bed. He wanted you to be the first girl for anything, the first girl who would meet his dad, and later become the mother of his kids and the wife of his dreams. It was you. His Y/n.

Since your job was slightly related to the public, and organizing events, that would mean seeing Jude again. You were thankful for one of your girlfriends helping you with this event, being in charge of guiding guests to their table for the charity and award night in downtown Madrid. You avoided when he walked in, wearing a black suit and white button-up, hair styled like he liked, and rings decorating his fingers.

But as much as you tried, here you were, guiding him and his teammates to the table in the front of the stage, “Here we are! Complimentary drinks will be on the way. As soon as the last few guests arrive, we will serve dinner. A waiter will come by with any other offers you’d like, having a wonderful evening!” you say, pretending to not know anyone there.

“What would you recommend? For dinner? I see there's seafood and picanha meat? Just want to keep my options open,” you look over at his teammate, noticing he is French. “Well you can’t go wrong with seafood, but I’d go with the picanha meat, one of our best Brazilian chefs has been hired, and I promise you he won't disappoint,” you wink playfully, not in a flirting way.

Jude clenches his jaw and clears his throat, catching on as if you were pretending not to know him, so he intervenes. “So Y/n, what would a Picanha plate serve perfectly as a drink?” he cocked his head to the side, his teammate plastering a confused face as he confidently said your name. You swallow deeply, throat becoming dry, “Well you can go wrong with some fine red wine, or any alcoholic beverage of choice, but also the Guaraná Antarctica is a good serve,” you smile hard, showing him a “not here” look.

“If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask your waiter,” you bid your goodbye and walk back to the entrance, continuing with your job. You sit in the back, conversing with your other co-workers for the night, sharing laughs and glasses of wine, your friend getting close with the guy next to her, as you continue to converse with Manuel. After dinner, you walk around to ensure everything is okay with the guests, they thank you for the amazing service.

After two hours your gaze goes back and forth from the dance floor to the paperwork on your table. Your hand is getting tired of writing small notes and checking off details. You jump slightly when you see Jude now seated next to you, his hand on your chair, the other propped against the table. You blush at the proximity, goosebumps gazing at your skin as you continue writing down.

“Y/n look at me…” he says softly, watching as you shake your head gently, a curl tucked behind your ear, coming down and completely hiding you from him. He takes that curl back into his place, and repeats himself, “Look at me, baby.”

You stare back at his brown eyes, his pupils blown out as he fully stares at you. You let out a small shaky breath, as his eyes roam your figure. “You look absolutely beautiful tonight Y/n, Couldn't keep my eyes off of you, especially in this dress…God this dress is making me go insane” Jude lets out.

“Jude.”

“We have to talk about us sometime you know? You can’t just pretend everything we did, what we went through wasn't real. You can’t avoid me forever as much as you try. You know well you can't forget me, let alone deceive me… And I won't lie to you, because if we're gonna fix us, we're gonna do it the right way. I'm going to be honest and confess I miss you, so so so much Y/n…” Jude confesses.

“You can't say stuff like what and not mean it, Jude. It's not fair… to me or you. You said if it ever became too much, that we’d end us, whatever was going on to avoid unnecessary drama. So that’s what I'm doing, ending our situationship or whatever we had… I want to move on and settle down…” you say, going to pick up your pen but he stops you, interlocking each other's hands.

“But I'm not lying to you Y/n. I mean every word. Fuck whatever I said in the past, I only said it at the moment. If you want to end it, I won't stop you but just know I'm not giving up. I'm willing to win you back and show you what you deserve. Because I love you. I’ll say it right now, and every time I see you because I love you Y/n…” Jude persists, thumbs rubbing over your small hand.

“You say this now but what if it's too late? You introduced me as your friend all the time, made it clear it was just sex, hung out with other girls and rubbed it into my face, only called for a quick fuck and went back to doing you. If anything, what if you say this now, and then later on regret it?” you say, releasing your hands from his. “You can’t love me Jude, you just can’t. We're completely different people, we’d never work-”

“We can’t know if we don’t try. When you left the morning after, I had planned to say all this, because I was tired of myself for not giving in and fighting for you sooner. I hated the fact we were close and intimate yet so far and distant from each other. I want it all with you Y/n… No bullshit.” if we were close before, we're even closer now. Jude tilts your chin towards him, brushing his thumb delicately against your cheek.

“You can't deny the feeling of love, or hide the passion. I know you love me, and I know that no matter what, if you're walking away from me today, you'll miss and love me tomorrow… When there’s love it cannot be forgotten, it is always engraved. If you can look at me in my eyes, and convince me that you don't love me then I won’t fight for us…”

“And if we try and it doesn't work out, look at us now! If I lose you for good… Jude it would be hard… you’ve become one of the closest people i've valued and trusted, and for all our cherished memories to go to nothing would be unbearable… if what you're saying is true, and not lying, then we have a long way ahead of us… so are you this is what you want?” you say, leaning into his touch and watching as he gives you a big smile.

“More than anything…”

…

“And he's done it again! After a wonderful assist, Jude Bellingham puts Real Madrid in the lead of 3-2 against Napoli! The young England star shines again!”

You jump up and down, not caring if people see you weirdly in the library while they study. Your boyfriend scored again, and that’s all that mattered. You knew this was his night, his special performance once again. Jude is proving every day, every game, what a valuable and talented player he is. And there's nothing more that warms your heart than to see Jude happy and stable in his current position. You knew he wouldn't have it any other way.

So so incredibly proud of you Jude! Another goal to the list, can't wait for you to come home tomorrow so we can celebrate! See you soon baby!

You set your phone down and continue back to your studies, wanting to check the last bit of notes for your class so you’d be able to use them for the test. But soon the match finished, and it wasn't long for Jude to text you back, sending you a selfie of him with the MOTM trophy.

I love you so much, baby! Thank you for being there for me, even if you're not currently here with me! And yes, I will be seeing you very soon, we fly back tonight. Get ready, because we're gonna attend a small get-together at Fede’s house, pretty girl, xx ;)

You didn't have in mind to go out, especially during the week, but this was his night, and you wanted him to celebrate the way he wanted. After quickly finishing your notes, you head to your flat, pick up some dinner, and eat it as you decide what to wear. After a long decision, you change into some slightly flared jeans and a black long-sleeve square neck top, pairing it with a leather jacket since it was cold.

You struggle to put your left boot on as you skip to the door, after hearing the doorbell ring. Jude doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, hugging you tightly in his embrace. He set you down and kissed you, his soft lips moulding with yours as you let the passion overtake the two of you. Him being careful with your makeup and hair that was done. “Gosh, I missed you, had to come quickly after I landed. Also, I love your earrings baby,” Jude said quickly and in a mess making you giggle, he was so excited and overall grateful.

Fede’s house unfortunately had to get some repair, so now you were at a rooftop bar and club in Madrid, talking with the other wives and girlfriends of the players. Jude often passed by to check in on you, kissing your lips or pecking your temple, it became his love language, and you absolutely loved it. It was late so you went to the corner and searched for Jude. But when you saw him talking to a girl, your eyes narrowed, swallowing away the jealousy and rage.

You learned to forgive but also to control your emotions. So you weren't going to let this random ruin that. At the end of the day Jude was yours, and he came back home with you. Like in the past, you worried about stuff like this but now, you wouldn't let it affect you because in the end, you trusted Jude, and he made sure to never hurt you again. As you approached them you scoffed internally at the girl, “She won’t have to know… Just one night Jude…”

“Am I interrupting something?” you asked, Jude’s eyes going wide before he laughed. The girl's cheeks burn red and quickly walks away as you shake your head. “I hope you know she is-”

“Jude, baby, that didn't bother me. Seeing you smile at her maybe,” you joke, and drag out the e at the end but quickly speak again, “I trust you, and I love you, sweetie. I'm not worried about that because I know I'm the only one you think about…” you say, hugging his torso, feeling as his heart pumps quicker, giggling at his reaction at you finally saying those three words he had been anticipating to hear. “Say it again Y/n. Slap or pinch me so I know what I heard is true and not just a dream…”

“I love you, Jude Bellingham.”

“God me too baby… me too. I love you so much, my gorgeous girl…” his hands dug into the back pockets of your jeans, leaning down and rushing his lips on yours. The corner was alone, so no one could stare at you. Your hands came to cup his face, closing your eyes and relishing the kiss, his tongue wanting you to grant permission to deepen the kiss. The small clicking noises, the let-out grunts and moans, drove the two of you crazy.

His hands soon went to your hips, squeezing them as he sat down on the couch, kissing down your jaw and corners of your mouth. Your hands softly running up and down his back and chest. “Taste so sweet, I can’t get enough, too attached…” you giggle at his words, Jude letting out a small chuckle. “Managed to score a goal, and hear you say I love you to me. I'm the luckiest man on earth right now…”

The next morning Jude freaked out when he didn't see you on the bed, panting and gasping because you weren't next to him. He put on some shorts and looked around the room before going down to the kitchen and seeing you stand there making breakfast. “Baby… you scared me. I thought you left me.”

You laughed and came up to him, you pecked his lips and wiped the small sweat that formed on his forehead. “Never. I don’t want to leave your side. I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to make us some breakfast before you began your recovery day, Jude,” you say leaning against the countertop with the spatula in your hand. “For a second I thought you did, and I was reliving my worst nightmare! But it's okay because I know you're here with me, and that's all that matters.”

He closed the gap between you, kissing your forehead gently, then to the tip of your nose, and finally your lips again. “I love love love love love you so much Jude,” you say repeatedly making him chuckle.

“You better, because you ain't going nowhere.”

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham x y/n #jude bellingham smut #football x you #football one shot #football x reader #football fanfic #football imagine #footballer

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illym · 2 months

Text

Hi, hello, if you like reading about localization choices be sure to check below the cut because I Had Fun Here (not being sarcastic. It was enjoyable learning about vinegar in Japan).

Translation Assistance: @masked-and-doomed + @solradguy

ID in alt.

Cleaned and original comics below the cut.

Specific Assistance:

@.masked-and-doomed: transcribed what I couldn't pick up.

@.solradguy: Verified the translation of what the npc was saying in panel 4, offered a line for it.

Fun fact: The Japanese department of a college all got together to work on this one.

I hated redrawing the back of Ky's head. I'm glad I was able to hide most of it behind the text (lol).

Anyway, let's get on with the localization (and process) discussion!

In the original text of this comic, Ky was drinking vinegar.

"But Illym," you ask, face twisted in confusion, "Huh? Who drinks vinegar as a drink for fun? Is the joke that being compared to Robo-Ky made him go mad and believe that vinegar is delicious? Did you change the joke? Why are you writing me to be so verbose?"

I'm a very verbose person. To answer the rest of your questions, here's what DeepL gave me when I put the transcript in.

[

npc:

Captain… it's only the body that gets soft from drinking vinegar.

ky:

I… This is for your health!

npc:

If you drink it without diluting it, you'll get a stomach ache.

]

At first, I assumed that DeepL has misinterpreted some other drink as vinegar, such as cider, sake, or general alcohol. In this example, even, it translated Ky as saying "For your health" when within context he should obviously be saying "For my health".

I went to [ https://jpdb.io/ ] to check the line. Lo and behold, it still translated as vinegar. Hm. By this point, I'm fairly sure it's a cultural thing that I'll have to localize, but I try to be thorough in these things as, again, I don't understand the language and rely on machine translation. I search up vinegar in English in jpdb and find the Japanese character there immediately. So it's obviously the same word, not a messy translation.

My next course of action is to look up "drinking vinegar japan".

To summarize, according to the articles/blog posts I read, the process of making vinegar is just adding an extra step to the process of making sake. After that, if it's to be drinking vinegar, it's blended with sweeteners such as honey or fruit.

It's an extremely old drink in Japan, and it's seen as a health drink there (along with, I assume, being pretty tasty). You should go read up on it yourself.

But in the western world, drinking vinegar is... Not a big thing. While I could leave it as is and just write a translators note explaining the drink, I decided that given that Ky is French and Japan has been exploded for ~100 years, it would be more lore accurate to have him drink something else. If it was Anji or Baiken, I would have left it.

Also, it's more enjoyable and easier to understand to make it ambiguously alcohol instead of requiring a 4 paragraph explanation.

So to localize, I removed mention of vinegar and made the joke into Ky drinking too much alcohol. The NPC's worries apply to alcohol as well as drinking vinegar (drinking it makes you soft, it affects your body poorly, drinking too much is Seen as bad for your health) so it made for the smoothest change.

As I write this, I'm debating whether to add a translators note between panels saying that the bottle reads 'vinegar'... It'll get people curious, at least!

Original translation of the comic below.

#guilty gear #ky kiske #johnny guilty gear #robo ky #illym translation

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anarchywoofwoof · 9 months

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do u have posts where you talk abt prison abolition and alternatives to police? that'd be nice

so i've actually tried to approach abolition before multiple times and quite frankly, there are so many incredibly valuable insights provided by POC (People Of Color) and lifelong abolitionists that exist on the internet, it would be a tremendous disservice for my pasty white ass to sit here and try and educate anyone on this topic alone.

the last time i had this ask come up (you can find that post here), i deferred to FD Signifier for my thoughts on police abolition. i will do so again here for maximum visibility because he deserves it far more than i do. it is close to 2 hours long, but easily the best explanation or breakdown you'll find in such a relatively short time frame.

youtube

i'll expand on this by offering some of the more popular works that i'm aware of and a few works that i've read regarding abolition.

"invisible no more" by andrea j. ritchie provides an examination of how Black women, indigenous women, and women of color experience racial profiling, police brutality, and immigration enforcement. it aims to contextualize individual stories within the broader system of police violence and mass incarceration, calling for a radical shift in the way that we look at public safety.

"policing the planet" edited by jordan t. camp and christina heatherton combines firsthand accounts from activists with research from scholars and artistic reflections. it aims to trace back the global spread of the broken-windows policing strategy and its wide-ranging effects.

"our enemies in blue: police and power in america" by kristian williams addresses the history of policing in the united states, arguing that police brutality is intrinsic to law enforcement. it explores the relationship you've probably heard before between police and power from the era of slave patrols to modern times.

"the new jim crow" by michelle alexander extremely influential, you've probably heard of this one. it goes over how the u.s. criminal justice system functions as a system of racial control, particularly through the failed war on drugs, disproportionately targeting Black men and devastating communities of color (obligatory fuck nixon and reagan)

"violence work: state power and the limits of police" by micol siegel offers a new perspective on the police as the embodiment of state power, interconnected with the state and global capital. this one gives a unique examination of the u.s. state department's office of public safety and its influence on international police training.

"chokehold: policing Black men" by paul butler, who is a former federal prosecutor, examines the laws and practices that systematically target Black men, perpetuating institutional violence and societal fear.

"no more police: a case for abolition" by mariame kaba and andrea ritchie presents a comprehensive and practical plan for police abolition. it addresses current concerns while envisioning a future of reduced violence and enhanced justice. this is a cornerstone work and it's been lauded in many circles as being a definitive text on police abolition.

#borking back #police abolition #criminal justice #prison abolition

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electronickingdomfox · 7 months

Text

Star Trek TOS slash bits (Season one)

This is my personal rundown of all the slash scenes in TOS season one. Actually, "slash" isn't an accurate descriptor, since slash was born after and because of Star Trek; but I didn't know how to call it otherwise. I've omitted episodes when I didn't find anything remarkable in them. And I've tried to be as objective as possible. Of course, this stuff depends a lot on the "eye of the beholder", so your mileage might vary.

-What I count: lingering touches or affectionate looks, clinginess, actions that show a strong concern/familiarity with each other, suggestive scenes...

-What I DON'T count: friendly gestures (like smiling or looking amused when someone says something funny), scenes taken out of context, physical proximity just because there's not enough space...

I'll try to illustrate some scenes when necessary, though screenshots usually don't do justice to it.

For season two, go here.

The Corbomite Maneuver:

Spirk: Kirk tells Spock his explanations give him "emotional security" with a loving look. Spock appears a bit embarrassed. Not counting the scene where Kirk makes a video call while shirtless (funny as it may seem out of context), since that scene has nothing to do with Spock himself. He's just calling the bridge, not Spock in particular.

McKirk: McCoy surely likes to cling to the Captain's chair a lot. He gets really close for a good chunk of the episode.

Should I count the scene where he hides a red alert in sickbay, so Kirk can keep sweating shirtless in his med bed? On the one hand, it may seem suggestive, but on the other, McCoy is just anxious about finishing his medical exam on the Captain.

Spones: McCoy tells Spock (with a somewhat hopeful look) that he'd love to teach him strip poker. Remarkable because there's no hint of sarcasm at all, and Spock answers with a mischievous smile.

The Enemy Within

Spirk: The scene where Spock enters the cabin and seems so agitated by the sight of shirtless, absurdly sensual Kirk.

Also a bit at the end, when Kirk thanks Spock on behalf of his two... halves. He has the Look in his eyes.

McKirk: McCoy is again pretty close and physical with Kirk (the good one). He stops agreeing with Spock's logical plan to merge the two halves, as soon as they discover that it may put Kirk's life in danger.

The true couple of this episode, however, is Good Kirk x Evil Kirk.

The Man Trap

McKirk: The way Kirk tells McCoy that he's not counting his errors, and how he smiles and approaches him to apologize, comes off rather flirtatious.

Also, though he's joking, Kirk can't help offering McCoy the most shitty bouquet of flowers ever, and calling him by his pet name "Plum" at the first opportunity.

The Naked Time

Spirk: "Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed". Also at the end, when Spock asks Kirk if he's okay, but Kirk asks Spock about his wellbeing instead, with a loving expression in his face.

Balance of Terror

McKirk: The scene where Kirk is lying in bed and he invites McCoy to enter, and then they stare at each other with such fondness. On top of that McCoy makes a heartfelt speech about the uniqueness of all lives, and begs Kirk not to sacrifice himself.

What Are Little Girls Made Of?

Spirk: This may be a stretch, but Chapel implies that she can recognize the real Corby by his voice alone, because she's in love with him. Later, Spock guesses there's something wrong with Kirk just hearing him (actually an imitation of his voice made by an android). Apart from this, Kirk's way of ensuring that his android copy is recognized as a fake, is implanting in him mean remarks about Spock.

Dagger of the Mind

McKirk: Again, McCoy has to be all over Kirk's chair whenever he's in the bridge.

Spirk: At the end, Kirk ponders about loneliness, but then he looks at Spock, smiles, and seems to get better. Spock kind of returns the smile.

Besides this, Spock's mind meld with Van Gelder is rather... well... intense.

Miri

Spirk: A brief moment, but when Spock says "Whatever happens, I can't go back to the ship, and I do want to go back to the ship, Captain", he and Kirk exchange knowing looks, and Spock even smiles a bit.

Spones: Spock is very tender with McCoy while he's unconscious, after testing the vaccine on himself. He holds his hands for a looooong time.

The Galileo Seven

McKirk: McCoy still seems unable to talk with Kirk at a normal distance in the bridge. Granted, he gets so close because he's gossiping about Spock's emotional reaction. But that makes it even more gay.

Spirk: "Mister Spock, you're a stubborn man." In context, he's just teasing Spock like everybody else on the bridge, but in Kirk's case, it seems more affectionate.

Court Martial

Spirk: It's normal that a First Officer would be loyal to his Captain, and testify in his favor when his career is at stake. But Spock's comparison of Kirk's inability to make a mistake, with a hammer's inability to overcome gravity, is way too much, isn't it? Specially for someone who pretends to be as logical as Spock.

The Menagerie

McSpirk McCoy refuses to believe Spock is the culprit, despite damning evidence against him. And he's barely able to arrest him, sending him to his quarters instead of the brig. Kirk is more firm in his duties as Captain, but still considers the court martial against Spock as the most difficult time in his career. At one point, he almost wishes his shuttle failed, so he didn't have to confront Spock.

This episode also shows how crazy Spock can become to protect those he loves and respects (in this case, Pike). Motherfucker just committed mutiny in the Captain's face!

Shore Leave

Spirk At the very start, Spock stands behind the Captain's chair, and Kirk complains about pain in his back. A yeoman, also behind him, starts giving Kirk a back massage. And Kirk seems to be enjoying it quite a lot... until he discovers it's not Spock doing it. Then he orders the yeoman to stop, annoyed. Also later, when the airplane is shooting at Kirk and Spock, the two of them embrace and grab each other a lot. It doesn't help that Kirk has, as usual, his tits out.

The Squire of Gothos

Spirk The best way for Trelane to ensure Kirk's cooperation is threatening Spock at gunpoint. This changes Kirk's attitude to him at once.

There's also something seductive (and masochistic) in Kirk's promise to Trelane to give him all the excitement he wants with a manhunt game.

Arena

Spones "Doctor, you're a sensualist" "You bet your pointed ears I am..." It's not just what he says, it's how he says it.

There's also a little detail, when Spock raises from the Captain's chair, and Bones purposefully follows his hand with his fingers. It's strange. Might be an unconscious action on DeForest's part?

The Alternative Factor

McKirk A similar example as the previous "sensualist" one, but this time with Kirk.

Tomorrow is Yesterday

McKirk He can't stop doing this, can he?

Besides this, McCoy gets very anxious as soon as Kirk beams down to the airforce base, and argues with Spock because he feels the Science Officer isn't doing enough to retrieve Kirk from there.

Spirk Kirk hits a guard and hurts his hand a little, so Spock goes toward him and checks the poor baby's wrist.

However, nothing in this episode compares to the truly lustful looks that Kirk directs to Captain Christopher, when he first meets him.

The Return of the Archons

Spirk At the end, Kirk keeps looking at Spock with silly heart eyes, even though the conversation is a philosophical one, about the pros and cons of a society run by computers.

A Taste of Armageddon

Spirk "Captain, you almost make me believe in luck." "Why, Mister Spock, you almost make me believe in miracles." Bonus points because it comes absolutely from nowhere, since the day was saved by Kirk's power of bluff and special brand of diplomacy. Spock hasn't done anything particularly miraculous (well, there's the mind meld with the wall, but that was a brief moment). Spock also looks confused, and there's that comedic music in the background.

Space Seed

The only thing I can think of, is the tense scene between Kahn and McCoy in sickbay, when he grabs the doctor by the neck and says he likes brave men. Followed by McCoy's statement that Kahn has a certain "magnetism, almost electric". The final confrontation between Kirk and Kahn is also a bit suggestive at times.

This Side of Paradise

Spones MCCOY: That didn't sound at all like Spock, Jim. KIRK: No. I thought you said you might like him if he mellowed a little. MCCOY: I didn't say that. KIRK: You said that. MCCOY: Not exactly. He might be in trouble.

Notice how quick Bones denies having said he might like Spock... Almost as if embarrassed. Does he think often about how Spock could be more to his liking?

Spirk It's possible to see some jealousy from Kirk about Spock and Leila's relationship. In particular during the fight, when he confronts Spock about his courtship of Leila. That came a bit out of nowhere. On the other hand, I disagree with the common idea that his parting from Leila has spirk undertones. On the contrary, he's just talking about his responsibility to the ship and "that man on the bridge" (the Captain; first Pike, now Kirk). And I think there's genuine regret in his abandonment of the simple happiness in the colony, to take care of these responsibilities. His mention of "purgatory" reinforces that.

The Devil in the Dark

Spirk Spock is very protective of Kirk in this episode. First, he invents some bullshit excuse to stay in the cave with him, instead of helping Scotty with the reactor (Kirk sees through his bullshit, by the way). Then he's quite unwilling to proceed separately through the tunnels. And finally, he gets really emotional when Kirk's alone with the horta, and asks him to kill the creature, even though Spock was the one who wanted to protect her first. Apart from this, Kirk supports Spock for a while, after being hurt by the mind meld with the horta.

Errand of Mercy

One name: Kor. Interesting that the episode that introduced Klingons, did so by showing their commander lusting so much after Kirk. Kor checks Kirk out almost from the second he lays eyes upon him, tells him he'll "teach him how to use his tongue", invites him to a drink while Kirk sits suggestively, and both are somehow fascinated by their similarities as commanders (despite their opposite outlooks on life). Definitely one of the most obvious examples in season one.

City on the Edge of Forever

Spirk This exchange:

SPOCK: Interesting. Where would you estimate we belong, Miss Keeler? EDITH: You? At his side, as if you've always been there and always will.

Some people have said that, since Spock's computer contraption occupies one bed, Kirk and Spock would need to sleep together on the other bed. I don't agree though; I see no reason why they couldn't move the thing to the floor at night. It's not that big.

McSpirk How they run to embrace Bones when they finally find him. Even Spock is overcome by emotion.

Operation: Annihillate!

McSpirk Both Kirk and McCoy are very concerned about Spock having lost his sight (much more than Spock himself). Though they react differently. McCoy is heartbroken and blames himself. Kirk reacts with anger and lashes out at Bones, which makes him feel even more guilty. Though later he apologizes. There's also this scene where the three get ridiculously pressed together.

Doesn't count in part, because there's not that much space. McCoy didn't need to come bumping into the other two, though (someone could have moved a bit forward).

Spones McCoy is offended about Spock not appreciating his face upon recovering sight, and complains that he just can't recognize beauty. He's also quite embarrassed because Spock heard him saying he was the best officer in Starfleet.

Summary

Spirk: 16 out of 29 episodes Spones: 5/29 McKirk: 8/29 McSpirk: 3/29

#star trek tos #star trek tos season one #analysis #spirk #k/s #spones #mckirk #mcspirk #and all the others i don't have a name for

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stellamancer · 7 months

Text

obligatory (satoru gojo x reader)

notes: haha. the valentine's fic. it's funny i still have to post halloween fic. maybe i'll finish this week since i'm off work. uh anyway, for those who say my posts, i'm kind of hesitant to post this for two reasons: 1) it's removed from context— like you can still get a feel of what is going on, but there's no explanation as for why and 2) due to reason 1 it's tonally different than usual, at least according to my beta reader. my eternal gratitude goes to @momodita who helped me workshop this fic and continues to demand i write more gojo fics despite denying being a gojo fucker.

contains: implied f!reader (no pronouns), the return of gojo's pov (a little less whacky this time lmao), jealous gojo (because those who know me know i can't get enough), light angst or whatever the hell is going on there. additionally, for those who don't know giri choco is chocolate you give out of obligation to your coworkers and honmei choco is chocolate you give to someone you have romantic feelings for. part of the infinite loop verse.

wc: 1.8k

“Here you go.”

Satoru graciously accepts Shoko’s offering: a thin, delicately wrapped box of Valentine’s Day chocolate. Naturally, it's giri choco; Satoru is well aware that Shoko would be caught dead before even thinking about giving Satoru honmei choco. That said, it looks like she's given more thought to her gift this year— the last few years she's just handed him a gourmet chocolate bar from some high end chocolatier. Actually, the last time she'd given him something wrapped up like this was…

“There better not be any liquor in this,” Satoru says in a petulant tone reminiscent of his high school days.

Shoko merely laughs. “As if I'd waste something like that on you.”

There's no way she’s forgotten how sick Satoru got the one time she did give him liquor filled chocolates. Not only had it made him sick to his stomach, it'd given him the worst headache of his entire life. If it were up to Satoru, liquor filled chocolates wouldn't even exist. “Welllll, thanks for the chocolate. I'll be sure to get you something good next month.”

Shoko gives him a relaxed smile. “Looking forward to it, Gojo.”

Knowing Shoko, she'll want liquor as usual. Maybe the same bottle of shochu that he got last year? She liked that, but then again, the same gift twice would be boring and Satoru is not about that. Whatever it is will be a little pricey, but Satoru doesn't mind it one bit— anything for one of his oldest friends.

Having given Satoru her yearly offering of chocolate, Shoko shoos him away so she can actually get to work. Satoru considers ambling around for another hour or two, but Ijichi will probably have a heart attack if he delays his mission briefing any longer. The sooner he does it the better, he guesses. Satoru starts sauntering toward the assistant managers’ office to find Ijichi, pulling at the ribbon on the box he received from Shoko as he goes. Inside are two rows of perfectly round chocolate truffles and Satoru picks one at random and pops it into his mouth. It's filled with a sweet raspberry cream that practically melts on his tongue. Shoko really went all out this year, but no matter how good these are they'd never match up to anything homemade.

Though, when he thinks about it, Satoru supposes he won't be getting anything like that this year.

When he gets to the assistant managers’ office he easily finds Ijichi, who, for once, is not bent over a mountain of paperwork, and with him is—

You.

Handing Ijichi a box of chocolates.

For some reason, Satoru suddenly feels very, very annoyed.

“Well, well, well,” he says, the volume of his voice louder than intended, but he doesn't care. “What do we have here?”

Ijichi whirls around and lets out a squeak, his face red as can be. He starts to blubber and it almost feels like Satoru's caught him in the middle of something more illicit than receiving chocolates. If Satoru weren't feeling so annoyed, he'd find the whole sight rather funny.

You, on the other hand, are far calmer, indifferent even, as a slight frown mars your features. Something about it makes Satoru's blood burn hot.

“Did I just interrupt a heartfelt love confession?” Satoru asks dryly and Ijichi starts to freak out even more, and while Satoru notices the slightest twitch of your eye, you remain impassive.

“I hope you like the chocolates,” you tell Ijichi, outright ignoring Satoru and somehow that makes Satoru's blood run even hotter. “I kept in mind what you said about last year's so they're not as sweet.”

“Thank you!” Ijichi squeals and you give the man a sympathetic smile before you head toward the door where Satoru's standing. He knows he's blocking the way, but he doesn't move.

Will you say something to him?

You don't.

Instead, you keep your head down and squeeze past him. Or try to. You brush against his side and Satoru doesn't miss the way your body jolts when you make physical contact with him. But it only lasts a second, and when that second ends, Satoru tries to ignore the feeling of bitterness rapidly spreading throughout his chest.

He means to say something, anything to you, but the words get caught in his throat.

By the time they free themselves, you're already gone.

Satoru sighs and saunters over to Ijichi, who's been taking deep breaths to calm down after Satoru's little bout of teasing. He leans against one of the desks and crosses his arms. “So, you had a mission for me?”

“Right! Yes!” Ijichi squeaks again and takes a deep breath before he starts to explain. Satoru only half listens to the briefing, his attention more focused on the little box sitting on Ijichi’s desk. The mere sight of it spurs a complicated set of feelings. He doesn't understand. You've been giving Ijichi chocolates every Valentine's ever since you moved to Tokyo and it's never bothered him before so why now?

“Um, Gojo?”

“What?” Satoru almost snaps.

Ijichi doesn't answer right away, instead he clears his throat and then says. “It's giri choco.”

Satoru scowls. Of course it is. It's not like you'd give Ijichi honmei choco. You don't see him like that. “I know that.”

Ijichi swallows thickly. Nervously. “Just making sure.”

Then he falls silent, the air between them now terribly awkward.

“...do you want some?” Ijichi asks.

“It's your chocolate.”

“I don't mind sharing,” Ijichi says, reaching over and opening the box to reveal your homemade chocolates. They're nowhere near as perfectly round as the ones Shoko bought for Satoru, but he can tell you put effort into making sure they looked presentable. “Help yourself.”

Even Satoru isn't terrible enough to steal an entire box of chocolates meant for another man, but he does grab the nicest looking one and tosses it into his mouth.

It's bitter; a mix of dark chocolate and black coffee that's not only completely unpalatable to Satoru, but disturbingly reminiscent of the bitter feeling that's now threatening to eat him whole. He almost wants to spit it out.

But he doesn't.

Satoru swallows it all.

The mission is uneventful, absurdly easy even, though Satoru took a little longer than he needed to by toying with the curses a little prior to exorcising them. Some would consider it a touch cruel, but Satoru doesn't care. Anything to rid himself of that pesky feeling from earlier.

If it were up to him, he would have headed straight home afterwards, but Yaga had asked him to come back and do some paperwork. Satoru had tried to reason with him, tell him he'd just do it tomorrow but the principal was insistent.

Satoru trudges to his office and throws open the door. Inside, someone lets out a surprised yelp.

It’s you.

Again.

Both you and Satoru stare at each other in surprise. Given that you've been avoiding both him and this entire corridor like the plague for the past two months, you're the last person he’d expect to find in his office, hovering over his desk. And yet…

You look away from Satoru, your expression awkward. This isn't like your encounter in the assistant manager's office earlier; you can't just walk out of his office without an explanation of why you're there.

Well, you can try, but it's not like Satoru will let you.

“Weren’t you supposed to be out on an assignment?” you finally ask. Satoru thinks you mean to sound annoyed, but your tone is watered down.

“I was, but it was so easy I could have done it blindfolded.”

Normally, you'd just roll your eyes or snap back about how he's a show off or his jokes are shit, but you remain quiet. He shouldn't be surprised, but it still makes him feel weird. Almost sad. Almost empty.

“Principal Yaga asked me to leave some paperwork on your desk,” you say, sounding uncharacteristically meek.

Satoru frowns a little. Yaga, huh? He never pegged him as a meddler. Satoru approaches the desk to look at the paperwork in question; he grimaces— it's a whole freaking stack.

You start to shuffle away from Satoru and toward the door as Satoru flips through all the papers. “Anyway, if you'll excuse me—”

“Wait a sec.” Satoru says and you glance back at him in confusion. There's something peeking out from under the stack of papers. Satoru gingerly fishes it out, revealing a familiar looking box. He holds it up and adds, “Did you leave this too?”

A myriad of varying emotions flashes across your face before you settle on an awkward sort of embarrassment. “I… did.”

It's weird. Satoru didn't expect you to be so straightforward given that under normal circumstances you always choose to be as obstinate as possible. Which Satoru doesn't mind in the slightest; it makes things exciting. There are few things more fun than prying the truth out of you with whatever means necessary. Answering him so readily like this… almost feels wrong.

“I accidentally made too much,” you explain.

Satoru stares at you. It’s not an excuse, not a lie. Honestly, adjusting the amounts to account for one less person probably slipped your mind until it was too late. You could have done anything with the extra chocolate, given more to each person, eaten it yourself, but instead…

You still chose to give it to him.

Satoru tries to ignore the strange feeling stirring in his chest.

“Anyway, eat it if you want, toss it if you don’t,” you add, almost hurriedly as you move closer to the door. You give a quick bow to excuse yourself and before Satoru can say anything else, you run off.

His eyes remain glued to the empty doorway where you were just standing for a second before looking back at the box of chocolates you left for him. Carefully, he unties the ribbon and pulls off the lid. Just like Ijichi’s chocolates, the ones in his box aren’t perfect, but something about them looks nicer than the ones Ijichi got. Satoru wonders if you consciously put in a little more effort when you’d realized you had extra. The thought makes him chuckle a little.

He delicately plucks one from the box and pops it into his mouth. It’s sweet, infused with a hint of strawberry and vanilla that makes Satoru crave even more. As soon as he’s done with the first he shoves another into his mouth, and then another. With each chocolate he eats, the painful feeling in his chest grows, but he ignores it.

Before he knows it, the chocolates are all gone. Satoru licks his lips, hoping for one last taste of that strawberry vanilla sweetness only to find nothing. All he has left is the empty box and an aching heart.

if you read this whole thing, thank you and i hope you enjoyed it.

also yes, shoko got chocolates (tomo choco) too. they were similar to ijichi's, but with liquor instead of coffee.

#satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #gojo x you #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #infinite loop!verse

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luveline · 1 year

Note

This is very random but could we get something with Joel miller? Maybe reader has hurt her arm or something so he is helping her get dressed and comforting her because she’s really frustrated with herself for getting injured?

ty for your request ♡ fem!reader

"You okay?" Joel asks.

You spin on your ass to the tent entrance to find him crouched down, watching you struggle with your shirt. You cringe away from his gaze, knowing you're a sight. Contusions stretch like stains up your ribs, under your armpit, and across your shoulder. The pain is nothing compared to the original injury —you dislocated your shoulder, Joel popped it back into the socket.

The bruise is healing badly.

"I must'a done something wrong," Joel says, eyeing the bruise. You're glad that he's ignoring your dirty bra, once white, now a mottling of yellow, grey, and blood rusted red.

"Just bruises," you mutter, trying again to lift your arm.

"Don't. I'll help."

"I can do it," you insist, attempting another go quickly as he sets down on his knees in front of you.

"Stop." His explanation goes unsaid. You're hurting yourself. "You could try listening to me. Every once in a while."

"I was kind of busy keeping your stupid charge from pinwheeling off of a balcony, in case you forgot."

"I meant when I told you to stop," Joel says, pulling your arms down gently to your lap. He pulls the back of your shirt over your craned head and quickly pushes your head through the neck.

You wince as he helps your arms through the sleeves.

"I'm fucking stupid," you mutter.

You've been thinking about it for a while. You're weak for getting hurt, weaker for saying aloud how you feel. You don't want Joel to think of you like that, and you wish you could take it back as soon as you've said it. His face is impassive as always, the slightest pinch to his brows as he finishes straightening the bottom of your shirt over your stomach.

"For what?" he asks quietly.

"Getting hurt."

"You were getting hurt for a reason. Ellie," —he rests his hands on your hips— "she'd be dead if you didn't catch her. You popped your arm out so she didn't snap her neck. Doesn't make you stupid."

His touch makes you pause, terrified to lose it. It's not often he holds you. Maybe because he doesn't need to be touching someone as much as you want him to be, maybe because Ellie shadows him, a pale silhouette at his back. Your admission hasn't disgusted him as you'd worried. He's offering you reassurance in his way. Quiet, steady.

"I never should've let her go by herself."

"I shouldn't have let you," he argues. There's bite there suddenly. "Don't blame yourself for something that's my fault. Mine."

You slouch, braceleting one of his wrists with the hand that doesn't burn to move. Every ligament in your opposite arm screams to be iced. All you want is half an oxy and a bed to lay in.

"I should've been faster. Should've seen she was messing around."

Joel's hands travers unexpectedly to the small of your back. He meets your eyes head on, the heat of his touch trailing up to your agonised shoulder. He smooths his hand over it carefully. It hurts, but you say nothing.

"It's not your fault," he says. One moment you want it and the next he's holding your cheek in his hand. His skin smells of pine needles, wood and dirt. A fingertip traces under your eye likes he's following a dotted line, before he hooks his fingers behind your ear. "You wanna be mad at someone, you be mad at me."

"Are you guys being gross in there?" Ellie asks from outside the tent.

Joel kisses the top of your head and moves away.

"Hello?" Ellie asks, pulling aside the tent door.

"Privacy," Joel says.

"She's just sitting here." Ellie says, plopping down on her knees in the entryway. It's a small tent, bursting to capacity with her arrival.

"She was getting changed."

"I could've helped," Ellie says. She widens her eyes, eyebrows climbing her forehead with little in the way of subtlety.

"I got it," Joel says firmly.

Ellie's smile is smarmy. "I bet you do."

#joel miller #joel miller hbo #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader #the last of us hbo #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction

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the-lost-kemetic · 2 years

Text

Red Flags In Pagan Circles

I've seen a lot of younger, inexperienced members of the pagan (and witchy!) communities fall into some traps set up for them by people who wish to harm them. It saddens my heart to see this happen, as a lot of newer practitioners join these circles so they can learn! And because they're new, they often get taken advantage of.

So I'm creating this non-comprehensive list of some red flags in pagan and witch circles. Again, this isn't comprehensive. I will be updating this as time goes by, so I recommend checking in on this. For each red flag, I'll give a brief explanation as to why it's a red flag. As always, feel free to add your own in the replies and I'll add them to this post!

EDIT: 11/15/2022 - since there's been some people misunderstanding some of the things in this post, I've rewritten a lot of it so hopefully it makes more sense! Apologies to any confusion that's been caused. I also added some of the additions people have reblogged as well!

Usage of the terms "black" and "white" magic:

While this doesn't always mean someone is racist or xenophobic, within occult spaces there's this tendency to use this. The association of darkness/black things being evil isn't always a racist thing (we as humans are naturally afraid of the dark), but it did play a part in the Atlantic slave trade by associating dark skin with animalistic, evil ambitions and light skin as being pure and good. This isn't 100% a red flag, but it's good to keep an eye out when it is used! Another issue is that "black magic" was often used to refer to African traditional magic. It's why you'll often see hoodoo and voodoo portrayed as evil.

Argues that anyone can practice whatever they want, regardless of the status of it being closed or not:

Closed practices are closed for a reason, specifically because these practices have had their people murdered, their land stolen, and their practices made illegal for many years. The reason they are closed is so that outsiders cannot just come into their sacred spaces, take what they want, and bastardize it. The belief that you can join these closed practices without being initiated/born into them is rooted in colonialism and racism. This is one of the biggest red flags. Some examples of closed practices are hoodoo, ATRs, Native American beliefs, brujeria, and santeria. Some plants are closed as well, so please do your due diligence.

The belief in folkism/volkism: that open pantheons should only be worshiped by those with their blood:

This is the complete opposite of the above. Open pantheons are open because they have not been passed down to us in a single line, and they are currently being revived. As such, these practices can't really be "closed". People who argue that open pantheons should only be worshiped by those with their blood are partaking in the same beliefs as Neo-Nazis. Please watch out for this especially in heathen/Nordic spaces! These people ARE NAZIS. The specific dogwhistle here is "go back to your roots". (Thank you to @chrisasiaheartman)

Offers to teach advanced practices (baneful magic, deity work, etc.) to newcomers:

It's true that everyone is on different parts of their practice, and not everyone will progress the same way. However, there are certain practices that newcomers should not be doing until they have the basics down. This includes baneful magic and deity work, as you can open yourself up to disastrous consequences if you don't take the proper precautions. This isn't too much of a red flag as often the people doing this do mean well, but it's still something to look out for.

They use the terms "witchcraft" and "Wicca" interchangeably:

They are not interchangeable! Witchcraft is a practice, and Wicca is a religion. These types of people often believe you must be Wiccan to practice witchcraft, which you don't.

They refer to Wicca as an "ancient" religion:

This is false. Wicca was founded in the 1960s. If they do this, it could either be tongue-in-cheek, or it's just blatant misinformation. I would be careful.

They act as though baneful magic is evil.

It isn't. Baneful magic can be a form of protection and self-defense, it is not always a bad thing.

They act as though the "threefold law" is the end-all-be-all of practicing:

Not every witch believes in the threefold law, nor are you required to. This goes back into my point about them believing you must follow Wiccan teachings to practice witchcraft. You don't, period.

The use of racial or cultural slurs, even if they claim it's in a non-discriminatory way:

They are racist. If they're mentioning these slurs in an educational way, that's fine. But if a witchcraft space is just dropping these slurs casually in speech, it's a good sign of them being racist.

They push a specific diet:

You don't need to eat vegan or vegetarian to be a witch. No one has to. Some witches might think that's the best way to practice, and that's fine! Some witches might not subscribe to that idea, and that's fine too!

They push pseudoscience and/or anti-science ideologies (anti-vax, etc.):

This is extremely dangerous. Witchcraft and science can work together just fine. People have done this for so long, and pushing these ideologies can be extremely dangerous to peoples' personal health.

Enforcement of gender binaries:

This is things like the divine "masculine" and divine "feminine". Often times these people will also claim that the womb/uterus should be worshipped as well, and the people who do this are often TERFs/transphobic. Not everyone neatly fits into a gender binary. (Thank you to @hagstone-enthusiast for this!)

They promote the idea that only witches can be female, or that male witches are called warlocks:

Witches can be any gender, and the term warlock is actually derogatory as it means someone broke their oath.

Promotes the idea that mentally ill/neurodivergent witches that that way because they have a strong intuition:

This is very dangerous because being neurodivergent/mentally ill isn't a special thing, and it often is a detriment to many people. People who claim this often believe in indigo children/starseed children. In addition, look out for people to claim that neurodivergent people are that way because they "don't have a position attitude" (thanks to @urchinbeans5000).

#paganism #pagan #pagans of tumblr #witchcraft #baby witch #witchblr #polytheist #polytheism

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tojisrealwifey · 10 months

Text

Just One Chance

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Synopsis: Senju makes a promise to wait for [name] before [name] moves. She's back after 10 years but loving Senju seemed to have backfired on her. Now, as she wallows in self-pity she is reunited with her ex, Mikey.

note: this is an alternate ending for my senju fic. you don't need to know the story but if you're interested you can find it here.

・❥・requests : rules

WARNINGS: MDNI, 18+, Smut, Oral Sex (f.receiving), Fingering, Squirting, Masturbation, Slight Somnophillia, Dacryphilia, Slightly OOC Mikey, Cringe Arguments, Manipulative Reader [she is very selfish], Non-Canon Couples, Drinking, Mentions Of A Foursome.

・❥・wc: 7.8k

・❥・masterlist

"Hey, [name]!" Hearing a faint shout from behind her, she turns around whilst taking off her earphones. She is met by Takeomi and a woman who were making their way through the airport crowd.

She also starts to walk towards them, her black suitcase dragging behind her.

As soon as she was an arm's distance from them, Takeomi pulled her into a hug. Despite cringing slightly, [name] couldn't stop her lips from perking up into a soft smile.

"How are ya, [name]?" Takeomi asks her, pulling away. She replies with a faint 'good' before Takeomi is pushed away by the woman who was beside him.

"Hello [name]-chan, it's so nice to meet you." The red-head woman offers a handshake which [name] accepts.

"Hello, Rika-san, and likewise. Again, I'm really sorry for not attending the wedding, I had crucial exams that week." [name] replies, maintaining her professional tone.

"Awhh, that's no problem honey, also relax, you sound so stiff!" Rika chuckles.

"I don't- this is how I talk." [name] says, tilting her head slightly.

"Damn, I'm still not used to you talking so politely, architecture uni really killed your attitude, didn't it?" Takeomi laughs out.

"Or maybe it's cause I'm no longer 17." [name] rolls her eyes.

"I definitely spoke too soon, the attitude is still there! Anyways, give me your luggage so we can leave already, I hate airports." Takeomi shudders and takes the suitcase from her.

"Honestly, you and your dislike for airports." Rika scolds jokingly but nonetheless follows her husband.

The ride home was quite enjoyable in [name]'s opinion. Rika and she kept chatting away, especially the former, but she did get questions about her job thrown at her which she answered happily.

[name] had worked extremely hard to get into this profession so, of course, she'll speak proudly of it.

After some time, they finally reached home. When Takeomi was pulling up the car, she noticed her brother, Wakasa, walking out the front door.

As the car halts, she immediately jumps out and goes to hug her brother, and he does so without any complaints.

"I missed you..." He smiles into the embrace.

"Obviously not enough to come pick me up." [name] rolls her eyes playfully. He grunts at her comment but smiles when he notices that she has started to become comfortable showing more emotions.

"Okay, come on, let's go inside. Freshen up, I'll prepare some food."

It had been a day since she arrived back in Japan, 24 hours yet she still hadn't seen the person she longed for the most.

Right now she sat at the dining table across from Takeomi and his wife, as Wakasa cooked dinner.

She was wearing a pair of comfortable shorts but was wearing a white formal dress shirt since she had just gotten off an online meeting a few minutes ago.

Not being able to contain her thoughts of the pink-haired girl, she confronts Takeomi about it.

"Takeomi-nii, where's Senju?" [name] finally let the question spill. Takeomi freezes. She also didn't miss how Wakasa momentarily paused his cooking.

"What..?" she asks hesitantly, her mind filled with awful thoughts.

"[name], Senju...she uh.." Takeomi lets out some incoherent babble not knowing what to say.

"Nii-san?" she turns to her brother this time who also froze up, not giving a proper explanation.

[name] immediately stands up and runs out ignoring her brother's calls from behind her. The cold air hit bare legs.

She doesn't pay mind to her shorts that keep riding up with every speeding step. She took in heavy breaths but didn't stop till she reached Senju's apartment building.

Finally halting, takes a moment to recover her breath. Entering the building she first checks the nameplates.

If [name] remembered correctly, the Akashis' flat was 703. And she was correct, except that instead of Takeomi's name, the apartment seemed to be owned by Akashi Senju.

PING!

She heard the elevator open from behind her. She turns to see a few people emptying out of the elevator, when it is finally clear of people she enters the elevator.

Pressing the 7th floor she secretly admires the interior of the elevator. She couldn't believe how much this building had changed over 10 years.

The elevator door opens up as it reaches the 7th floor and instantly walks out of it. Walking along the corridors she searched for the door with the number '703'.

Her eyes finally catch the said number and her feet move her towards it. Her vision slightly darkened due to her nervousness but still found the strength to ring the doorbell.

Immediately, she hears a few shuffles as a few footsteps grew closer to the door.

The door swung open as [name]'s face brightened at the thought of finally seeing Senju again.

Except, it wasn't.

Instead of seeing Senju's light pink hair, she was greeted by light brown hair.

"Yes..?" The shorter woman in front of her spoke.

"Oh-um...is Senju here?" [name] asks in a faint whisper, suddenly losing her voice, her head instinctively lowers to face her feet.

"[name]?" The other questions in a shocked tone. [name] snaps her head back up, taking a moment to realize who she is speaking to.

"Yuzuha?" She questions, her heart beginning to pound.

"Ugh, who is it love?" [name] hears a familiar voice, noticing how it had grown slightly mature.

The girl that she loved walked into the frame, her eyes widening at the sight of [name].

Senju sucked in a breath, shock embedded on her face as she stared at [name] with guilt in her eyes.

"Um, [name] please come in..." Yuzuha moves out of the way. [name] mindlessly agrees, taking off her shoes and walking in.

She was so stunned she failed to notice her actions.

"You both should talk, I'll be inside if you need me." Yuzaha gives a sad smile and walks further into the apartment.

Their lips were sealed shut, both were unable to start the conversation, that was until [name] noticed a shiny rock on Senju's ring finger.

"You're married?" [name] asks. Following her gaze, Senju lifts her hand and fidgets with the ring.

"No, just engaged." Senju replies with a quiet voice.

"Since when?"

"Just now actually..." Senju answers.

[name] closes her eyes, her head tilting back slightly as she accepts the reality of the situation. Her roughed-up appearance made sense now.

They were going to have sex.

[name] felt her throat close up, her heart frantically beating in an unpleasant way.

Oh, it hurts...

It hurts so much.

She only now realized how much pain Senju had been put through during their teenage years.

"[name]...I-"

"Don't." [name] interrupts her.

"It doesn't matter." She continues, releasing a heavy breath.

"[name] please-"

"Stop Sen-"

"NO, LET ME SPEAK!" The shorter female says raising her voice. [name] stills.

"I- I'm sorry, [name]." Senju's voice wavers as she apologizes.

"Sorry about what?" [name] snaps, her question coming out more stern than she intended.

"I- I-" Senju starts but is cut off when [name] sighs sadly.

"You're sorry that you moved on from me? You're sorry that you broke your promise that you'd wait for me? You're sorry that you're engaged?" [name] asks her.

Senju says nothing except look at the floor guiltily. [name] lets out another sigh.

"You found someone you love and makes you happy. You have nothing to be sorry about Senju." [name] says.

"Then why are you looking at me like that?" Senju asks, finally meeting eyes with [name]. Her vision blurred with tears noticing the [name]'s countenance.

"Like what?"

"Like you're disappointed in me..." Senju replies in a whisper.

"I am disappointed, but not at you. I am disappointed in myself because I let you down for so long. So if it's anyone that should be sorry, it's me." [name] says but Senju denies shaking her head, tears rolling down her face.

"Please Senju, you just got engaged. Please don't ruin such a happy occasion crying over someone like me..." [name] turns and walks closer to the door.

When she finished wearing shoes, a broken sob reached her ears.

[name] refused to turn around, because she was aware that if she did, she would break completely.

As much as she wanted to comfort her, [name] knew...

Senju was no longer hers to comfort.

"Goodbye, Senju." [name] says and walks out, pulling the door shut behind her.

[name] walked into the convince store hoping to buy some ice cream. As much as she hated sweets, she wanted something extremely cold.

She hoped to get a brain freeze while eating it, that might help to cool her raging thoughts.

Once reaching the ice cream section, she gets distracted by the alcohol refrigerator right next to it. Against her better judgment, her hand reaches for the sake bottle.

Five minutes later she was sitting on the pavement with two beers and a pack of cigarettes.

After realizing she didn't have enough money on her to pay for sake she decided to settle for a can of beer and a cigarette pack. The second beer came with the buy one got one free offer, a total steal honestly.

Although she was never a fan of drinking or smoking, the night called for it. She stands up and decides to savor the commodities in her hands at her favorite spot.

Reaching the rooftop of the abandoned building, she reminisces about the moments spent at the bowling area that was just a floor beneath her.

It was her and Mikey's favorite spot.

Oh my god, Mikey...

She hadn't seen him since that day, and honestly, she was glad. She certainly didn't have the courage to face him.

She sat down near the door, knowing she'll be drunk off her ass in the next few minutes, and wanted to avoid any accidents just because she couldn't cope with a stupid heartbreak.

She took out a single cigarette and placed it between her lips going to light it a bit then realized, she didn't have a lighter...

Letting out a grunt of frustration at her foolishness she places the stick back into the box. She clenched her teeth in anger knowing she just spent 500 yen on cigarettes that couldn't even use.

Despite wanting to chuck the pack away, she didn't. Instead, she held it close.

They were of Benson & Hedges, Shinichiro's favorite brand.

[name] sighs. This is why she left, just a day back in Japan and she's already depressed. She wished she had never come back, she was happy in the Philippines, but again, she couldn't just leave her brother behind.

She opens one of the beer cans and starts sipping from it.

Knowing that her alcohol tolerance was non-existent she only decided to drink just a bit, making sure to stay coherent enough to walk down multiple stairs and go back home.

But of course, God has never been on her side, has he?

Sips turned into gulps and within the next minute, she had already started sipping on the second can.

She didn't know if it was the slight anger towards Senju, or because she was here on the rooftop, but she found her thoughts slipping from Senju to Mikey.

She smiles fondly remembering how much this place meant to her, to them.

They had shared many firsts here. Actually, except for their first kiss, every other first happened here.

The first time they drank, the first time they tried to smoke, first proper confessions, first date, first 'I love you's, the first time they--

[name] cringed at the memory, she couldn't believe how reckless they both were at the time, but what did two 14-year-olds know at that time?

That's what love did, it made them feel like they were the only ones here, and it truly made them feel invincible.

Love is such a dangerous emotion for someone so young, but they both fell into its captivity without realizing it.

They say that an average person falls in love three times.

The first love. The type of love that happens at a young age which is frequently referred to as puppy love.

It feels euphoric at that time and being young and inexperienced doesn't make you understand what you truly feel.

As you get older, you think back to it and try to figure out if it was really love.

Mikey was her first love.

Then comes the second love.

It is said to be the painful one, it's the one that helps you grow.

It's said to come with a lot of pain, lies, betrayal, drama, and so on...

And although she was grateful Senju never put her through all this, she wouldn't deny that Senju was her second love.

Lastly, it's the third love.

It's usually the one.

[name] could only wonder when she'll find her third love.

It's said to come blindly; when your soulmate just walks into your life unexpectedly--

"[name]...?" A soft yet stern speaks from behind her.

[name] felt her heart drop and her breath got stuck in her throat.

Just when she was having an inner monologue about love he just had to walk into her life again, didn't he?!

"M-Mikeyy...~" [name] slurs turning to face him.

"What are you doing?!" Mikey raises his voice in shock seeing how drunk she is.

"Oh just thinking about all the times we fucked here, why else would I be here?" [name] smiles although in her mind she cringes, not believing she some something like that.

'I am never drinking again.' [name] promises herself.

"Come on, I'll take you home..." Mikey walks towards her and takes hold of her wrist.

"No! Come sit and d-drink with m-*hic* me~" She tugs him closer but he doesn't budge.

"[name], lets go." He says sternly once again, but she only shakes her head.

"No- come on just a drink, just like old times~" [name] pushes her half-empty can of beer into his face.

He sighs in defeat and takes it from her.

"If you insist." but instead of drinking, he chucks the can over his shoulder obviously not realizing how much force he used because it ended up falling over the roof and landing on the road with a soft clatter.

[name] gaped at him in shock.

"No! Why did you do that?!" She stands up immediately and goes to push him, only to miss and trip over her own feet.

Luckily, he stopped her fall. [name] looks back at him, only to realize she was seeing two of him, her vision suddenly blurred as she felt herself sobering up at the sight of him.

She finally got a good look at his face, and for a second the same feeling of love filled her stomach.

"Manjiro..." Her vision clears up and her eyes fall on the dragon tattoo on his neck.

Lifting her hand she traces the ink on his neck, slowly striding closer, and instinctively places her lips on his.

But to her disappointment, he doesn't respond and pulls away within the very second.

They both stand in silence trying to understand the situation. She was surprised by her own actions, the shock sobering her up completely.

She takes a few steps back and starts apologizing.

"I'm sorry, that was very out of line...that was definitely not fair to your girlfriend." [name] says, the words spilling out before she can stop them.

"Oh? So it's fair to me?" Mikey replies haughtily. [name] shakes her head.

"It's unfair to you too..." She looks away, unable to muster up to courage to look at him.

"Hmm, don't worry about it. Plus, I don't have a girlfriend." He replies.

"Oh, boyfriend...?" She asks.

"No boyfriend either, [name]." Mikey says.

"Then...why did you pull away?" She asks nervously looking down at her feet.

"Maybe because we're not together? Also, the fact that you're drunk?" He replies with a soft voice.

"R-right...also, I'm not drunk. I just got a bit tipsy and wasn't thinking straight, so sorry for that..."

[name] felt emotionally distraught, and Mikey didn't fail to notice that.

"Come on, I'll take you home." Mikey says but [name] just shakes her head.

"No, I don't want to go there right now..." She wraps her hands around herself to provide some sort of warmth.

"Then where do you wanna go?" Mikey asks; taking off his jacket and wrapping it around her figure.

Such gestures, it all felt so natural.

"You place...?" [name] asks hesitantly. Mikey sighs in disapproval.

"[name]..." Although he couldn't imagine leaving her so he agreed silently.

He took her to the Sano Residence on his CB250T. She was impressed to see how well he managed to maintain the bike even after so many years.

"I see you still live here." [name] smiles softly.

"This place has too many memories, I couldn't leave." Mikey smiles back.

"Is Grandpa in? I figure he's sleeping right now?" [name] asks.

"[name], he passed away years ago..." Mikey replies, his voice wavering. She looked at him in shock as this was the first she ever heard of it.

"What? When?!"

"A year after you left..."

"So, you've been living here all by yourself...?" She questions with a small frown.

"Pretty much." He replies and starts to guide her into the house.

It wasn't fair. He had been through so much, he had lost so many people.

His Mother, Father, Shinichiro, Baji, Draken, Emma, Izana, and His Grandfather.

And [name] left him as well...

"Why the long face?" Mikey brings his index fingers to the side of her lips and slightly pulls them up into a smile.

[name] giggles like every other time he did this gesture when they were young.

"Nothing..."

"Come on, tell me." he insists.

"I just- I'm not saying this is an insensitive way but, I feel like this house holds so many sad memories. I couldn't imagine being strong enough to put up with everything...does that make sense?" [name] rambles on.

"It's true, this place has seen such sad moments but at the end of the day, this house is a part of me. I couldn't imagine leaving this place. Hopefully, I'll find someone to make new memories here with..." Mikey trails off.

"O-oh...do you have someone in mind already?" [name] tries to keep her voice strong but a stutter manages to slip in.

"Honestly, I always thought of it being you..." he says with a sad smile.

"Do you still love me, Manjiro?" She brings up the courage to ask the question.

"Yeah...I do."

"Then why did you pull away?!"

"Because you don't love me back, [name]! You know what?! I am so sick of this! Even when we were broken up 10 years ago, every time you found yourself frustrated with Senju, you came to me. Ever since then you always kept me as your second option, and I hate that!" Mikey snaps at her.

[name] goes to defend herself but gets interrupted.

"Don't think I'm stupid [name]! I know exactly why you were drunk and crying just now, it's because you found out about Senju and Yuzuha didn't you? I was just trying to be a decent person and comfort you but then you went and kissed me, trying to distract yourself like you always do!

You did that before you left too! And I was so blinded by what I felt for you that I agreed with everything you did, not even considering the fact you were just using me as a goddamn stress reliever! Can't you see that what you did hurt me as well!"

Mikey's eyes filled with regret, he hadn't meant to snap at her but he had a limit as well.

"Manjiro I- I'm sorry that I made you feel that way...I didn't realize it I swear! At that time, running away always seemed to be the best option, but I never realized how many people I ended up hurting in the process..." [name] trailed off, her eyes welled up tears that she instantly blinked away.

After all, she had no right to cry.

"It's alright...I'm also at fault for leaving you like that." Mikey reasons.

"But you did that to protect me, to protect everyone. It's not the same. Fuck, I am the worst, aren't I?" [name] covers her face, tears burning her eyes.

"To be honest, yeah." Mikey's lips form a thin line. [name] scoffs at his reply but agrees cause it's the truth.

"But that's the past. Now that you're back, you can start over." [name] uncovers her face and gives Mikey a grateful smile. She appreciated his attempt to reassure her.

"Do you still sleep in your garage room?"

"No, I shifted to aneki's room, although it's still there. Here, the guest room is right here, you can stay here for the night." Mikey leads to the second-last room.

"Thanks..."

"No problem, you can take a shower if you'd like, although I don't think you need one. You smell quite nice." Mikey says before his lips seal shut.

[name] stares at him blankly trying to process what he said.

"Fuck, that was weird. I'm sorry, I just didn't think I'll ever see you again so my mind isn't working properly..." he explains trying to subdue his embarrassment. [name] stifles her giggles.

"It's alright, Manjiro. Good night." She smiles softly.

"Yeah, night. I'm just in the next room so shout if you need help."

[name] just nods and closes the door behind her.

It was around 2 AM when [name] found herself awake on the bed. Her mind was plagued by the thoughts of Senju.

Despite what her selfish heart asked for she knew Senju was just a star that she could never reach. A love that will never be hers.

She is distracted by the sound of glass clinking coming from elsewhere, so she gets out of bed and ventures out of the room.

Letting the sound of running water be her guide she traverses through the house and comes face to face with Mikey who had just finished rinsing a glass.

"Sorry, did that wake you?" Mikey gives her an apologetic look under the moonlight that seeps through the windows.

"Ah no, I was awake." Was all she said.

"Thirsty?"

"No...Manjiro?" [name] calls out to him.

"Hm?"

"Was it real for you...?" [name]'s voice comes out weak but her gaze does not falter.

"I don't understand." Mikey replies, confused by her question.

"Everything that happens between us. Was it real for you as it was for me?" [name] asks with a sad gaze, slowly coaxing him to answer.

"I think I made my feelings clear every single time, [name]." Mikey sighs, but then flinches at the sight in front of him.

[name]'s cheeks slowly got covered in tears as she finally succumbed to the events of today. Unable to stop herself she strides closer to Mikey and hugs him, words of gratitude falling from her lips.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for loving me back then. For loving me now. Thank you."

Mikey holds her close while responding to her words with comforting pats on the back. Minutes go by and they remain the same. The flow of her tears were far from slowing down and so were her words of gratitude.

She very slowly pulls her head away from the side of his neck and moves her face close to his.

"Thank you." As the gratitude is whispered into the night, [name] connects her lips to her first love's.

This time Mikey does not withdraw, and only pushes closer, indulging in her taste.

Slowly, they guide their bodies to Mikey's room. Once the back of [name]'s legs hit the bed, she gently falls back before letting her back rest on the bed.

Her legs were spread apart for Mikey to move with ease as his lips continued their ministrations on her collarbone.

Pulling back to start undressing her, he halts to admire the love of his life.

Her lips were wet, small trails of moisture on her cheeks and neck glistened under the moonlight, the sight itself made him weak.

His hands work to get rid of her shorts so she's bare from the waist down spare for her underwear.

He doesn't remove the white dress shirt she adorned, instead, he unbuttons the first few buttons just enough to reveal the simple black bra that held her weight.

His right hand smoothly slid her bra up enough to expose her chest and the way he did so made it seem as though her breasts were trapped.

[name] lets a weak whimper escape her lips as Mikey's tongue slithered on the valley between her breasts.

His thumbs teased her nipples as his mouth trailed her collarbone. Slowly moving his mouth to one of her breasts he wrapped his lips around her nipple, using his tongue to add to the pleasure.

His tongue kept rolling around her nipple, saliva leaked from his mouth to the sides of her breast leaving prominent trails.

He couldn't get enough, feeling how her nipple slowly but surely turned hard. He continues to do the same to her other breast before placing his hands around her waist to flip her over.

[name] balanced herself on her hands and knees, letting out faux moans as Mikey's thumb rubbed her clit through the fabric.

Slowly pulling her underwear down yet not completely off, his fingers brush through her folds smoothly.

Mikey stares at her cunt with a blank stare. Somehow he wasn't surprised at the the lack of arousal.

His eyes grew pained yet a sad smile took over his lips.

He had yet again fallen prey to [name]'s false words.

Gathering some saliva on his tongue he slides it over her clit and her folds finally plunging into her waiting hole.

[name] lets out a loud hoarse moan, not trying to muffle her sounds like she usually does.

"Ahhh- There!"

[name] occasionally lets out words of affirmation as Mikey's tongue fucks her now-sopping cunt.

His teeth would sometimes nip at her clit painfully as a form of revenge yet [name] only found pleasure in it.

[name] continuously lets out moans unable to stop her approaching orgasm.

She couldn't deny that this was the best tongue to have touched her. The title would change every now and then while she was a student at uni.

Her best experience was during a foursome with fellow female students.

Her cunt clenches around Mikey's tongue at the thought, mind becoming hazy as she feels her clit throb.

She remembers how amazing it was. She was in the same position as she is now but her mouth was on an older's classmate's cunt, licking away at her folds.

She herself was getting her pussy kitten licked by two other classmates. One had her tongue constantly sucking on her clit to the point it was red and puffy.

The other would use her tongue to assault her insides, switching between her fingers as her tongue would kitten-lick her asshole despite [name]'s protests or she would engage in a sloppy kiss with the other girl, their tongues still coated in [name]'s arousal.

That was the last time she had a shaking orgasm, that was until tonight.

[name] had unconsciously started to push against Mikey's tongue, his wet muscle was long enough to somehow brush against her g-spot. His nose rested dangerously close to her other entrance, and she would moan every time it lightly touched her.

She pushes back harder as she slowly feels her orgasm fade, so she thinks of the only thing that could release all the tension.

[name] plants her face against the mattress and moans into it as she thinks of Senju in every position imaginable.

She did the same in all her years at uni as she would fuck anyone who remotely resembled Senju or sometimes Mikey.

She thought of how Senju's tongue would feel on her cunt. She imagined her cunt against hers, hands tied as [name] would ride her face.

Tears prick her eyes as the thoughts overwhelm her.

"SE—AGH AHH! THERE! PLEASE! PLEA- AHH! MIKEY!"

[name] squirts for the first time in 4 months. Her arousal coated her thighs, tainting the bedsheet below her.

Trying to ride out her high, she grinds her soaked cunt across his face in hopes of more stimulation, making sure to rub her clit on his nose and completely drench his face.

Mikey lets her move as she pleases, aiding her by softly licking up all her arousal.

As he finished, he places a small kiss on her clit before standing up to walk away.

Before he could get too far, [name] shifts to sit on her knees and stops him by holding his hand.

"Where are you going...?" [name] asks in a slight panic. Mikey only smiled down at her.

"Get some sleep, [name]." He replies trying to free his hand from her grasp.

"What...do you- why did you stop? What about you-?"

"This is enough [name]." Mikey loses smile.

"No, it's not- I need more! More than her- Mikey, please! Please..." [name] sobs guiding Mikey's hand between her thighs, coaxing two of his fingers to slide inside her.

Once they were settled in she moved her hips to mimic riding his fingers as she once did him, trying to lure him in. Her back was arched, pushing out her chest so they would move along with her hips. Her head tilted back to expose her neck, making it look so kissable.

Mikey was slightly caught off guard by her actions, never having seen her so desperate and submissive. He clenches his teeth in anger but keeps his mouth shut, only replying by driving his fingers deeper.

"Ahh! Just like that!"

[name]'s moans were music to his ears yet it made them bleed, knowing nothing was directed towards him.

"You're so fucking selfish."

Those were Mikey's last words before he rips his hand away from [name], completely distributing her orgasm.

"Manjiro what are you-?!" [name] exclaims but gets interrupted by the shutting of the door.

As a few minutes go by she hears rustling around the house she can see from the window how Mikey leaves the house looking fresh as if she hadn't just drenched his face.

He soon leaves on his bike, driving into the lonely night.

Tears now stained her face.

How could he just leave her? Who should she go to next? How else could she stop the throbbing between her legs that had yet to subside?

[name] falls back on her back, her head on the pillows.

She spreads her legs and immediately plunges two of her fingers into her weeping cunt. As she did so she was brought some relief, but her clit still pulsated against her palm.

She sits up slightly, her right hand still in her cunt and she leans against the head of the bed using her left hand to support herself.

Her left hand then moved to her breasts which were still trapped between her bra and her shirt. Her fingers stimulate her nipple as she continued to finger fuck herself, her mind filled with images of an engaged woman.

She imagined fucking Senju in her favorite position.

When she was at uni and became intimate with anyone who was similarly submissive to Senju she would fuck them in this position, hoping to do the same to her love one day.

Her room had a thin and long mirror on the side of her bed and there was enough distance between them to fit two people.

So as she would get eaten out by her partner for the night, she would make sure the girl would have her bare cunt pressed against the mirror.

She wouldn't stop the girl's actions until she was sure that the part of the mirror and everything below was covered in her arousal.

When it was, she would shift the both of them so that [name] was sitting on her knees and the girl was lying flat on the floor, her legs over [name]'s shoulder would rest on her bed and the girl would have a complete view of her arousal and her dripping cunt as it got fucked by [name].

[name] would then tease the girl with her tongue all night and she forced her to lick up her own arousal on the mirror.

The girls who had experienced this would cry and cry, the filthy actions would embarrass them but they would only grow closer to their release.

Sadly for them, even during these intimate moments, [name]'s mind would only replace them with a certain pink-haired girl.

[name] felt herself growing close to her orgasm when thinking of Senju in the same position.

But suddenly her mind replaces herself with the image and Yuzuha and it breaks [name]. Shaking her head in defiance she continues her actions nonetheless.

Her fingers started to numb and her arm started to hurt, but she didn't stop until she had released all over her fingers.

Letting her breathing slow down she brings up her hand close to her face to look at her arousal.

After she cooled down she let her forearm rest over her eyes, letting her tears flow.

Mikey hadn't felt such disappointed in years. As ashamed as he was to admit it, he was disappointed in [name] more so than he was in himself.

He had noticed how she had called him 'Mikey' as opposed to 'Manjiro' like she usually does.

It's something that she had started doing somewhere in between his Kantou Manji days. It had started when Senju had officially entered the picture.

Without even realizing it, he had played right into her hands. She would lure him with her sweet 'Manjiro's and her lips would only spill 'Mikey's as she would fuck him.

It was already too late when he came to the realization.

Everything was different when she loved him, and only him. It was sweet. And a part of him believes it all went to shit when he left, yet he atoned for his actions.

He was truly happy when [name] found love but when years later he heard of Senju and Yuzuha a part of him felt guilty, even though he hadn't done anything wrong.

Everyone else who was aware of [name] and Senju was also a bit distraught, but they were happy for Senju and Yuzuha nonetheless.

Mikey himself was happy for Senju for finding her happiness and hoped that [name] would be too but, by last night's events it was pretty clear how she had taken the news.

Because if she was happy, she wouldn't have kissed him. It had become second nature for her, if Senju does something wrong, go to Mikey. It had been drilled into her bones.

Mikey walks into his house at around 9 AM. He looked to see if [name] was still here and sure enough, her shoes were right there.

He goes to check his room and finds [name] fast asleep on his bed. Her back was on the mattress, her head leaned up due to it resting on multiple pillows. Her hands were on each side of her head, and her legs were slightly pressed together and folded up.

When he saw her face, he noticed how her lips were parted with small gasps escaping them, her face contorting as if there was some sort of tension building.

"Senju...Senju...~"

Hearing this Mikey's eyes unconsciously drift to [name]'s slightly exposed cunt, there was a prominent trail of her arousal leaking from her hole.

Against his better judgment, he finds himself yet again at the mercy of [name], hands on her knees to spread them apart.

He uses his finger to see how wet she is and is utterly surprised to see her completely soaked as he spreads her folds.

[name] lets out a pitiful whimper at his action.

Without another second being wasted, he sticks out his tongue and licks up from her asshole to her hole, gathering all of her arousal and pushing it back inside her.

[name] moans but doesn't wake, her lips forming the phonetics of Senju's name.

Removing his tongue from inside her, Mikey just licks her all over her cunt, trying to build her orgasm.

[name]'s eyes open but her vision is blurry, she just feels extremely wet all over and can only make out how her thighs felt to be trembling.

When she leans up and looks down to see Mikey eating her out, her head falls back and her cunt pushes forward on his tongue. Noticing her to be awake now Mikey goes back to driving his tongue inside her.

The loud squelching sounds slowly brought her out of her sleepy state, her hips starting to push against him making a few squirts spurt out of her cunt and onto Mikey's tongue.

"Ah~ Ah~ Mikey...what are you-?"

"Shhhhh..."

Feeling him speak against her clit just brings her orgasm closer. This all felt like a fever dream to her.

Mikey pulls away from making her whine but her mouth is agape when Mikey moves to her side and up to suck on her nipple, his fingers stimulating her soaking folds.

His tongue moved around her nipple along with his fingers and these actions were too blinding for her, falling into complete submission for the first time.

Two of his fingers suddenly plunge into her just as he softly bites her nipple, her head is thrown back as she moans out.

"Ahh! Senju!"

[name]'s eyes widened in horror, instantly looking at Mikey's face but his eyes remained closed, but she noticed how thin tears spilled from the corners of his eyes and fell onto her body, getting camouflaged within her sweat.

His mouth was still sucking on her mounds and the movement of his fingers hadn't faltered for a second.

In fact, his thrusting had sped up, hitting her g-spot repeatedly, she was sure her cunt would be puffed up due to the sheer force of his fingers.

"Mikey I—"

"Just finish, [name]."

And she does.

Her release coats his hand up to his wrists as his fingers reach knuckles deep in her cunt to coax out every drop.

This continued for a few minutes till their breathing was no longer erratic.

Mikey shifts once again to place himself between her legs to lick up all of her arousal, [name] remains silent ignoring how her cunt clenches around nothing as Mikey smoothes his tongue all over her folds licking her clean.

Once he is done, he places a kiss on her clit like he always does before getting out of the bed.

"Manjiro-"

"Take a bath. I have some clothes for you, freshen up." Mikey interrupts her before walking away from her for the second time.

"Where did you get my clothes from? Did you visit Waka-nii when you left?" [name] questions as she stands at the door wearing her shoes.

"Yes, I didn't think you had informed them so I knew they would be worried. I told them I found you drunk so you're sleeping at my house."

—————————

09:34 AM

"She's at your house?" Wakasa asks in a worried tone.

"Yes, I found her drunk and felt uncomfortable leaving her alone. I tried to bring her here but she kept fighting so I just brought her back to my house."

"Drunk?...*sigh* I see, thanks for informing me. You said you needed some clothes? Wait I'll get some for you." Wakasa replies massaging his head.

He returns a few minutes later, a paper bag in hand.

"I'm sorry about [name], Mikey. I wasn't too worried knowing she wouldn't do anything reckless, but just before you came here Takeomi called me and said that Senju and Yuzuha had gotten engaged last night."

Wakasa sighs out as Mikey's eyes widen in surprise as he thinks back to a few hours ago.

"This is enough [name]." Mikey loses smile.

"No, it's not- I need more! More than her- Mikey please! Please..." [name] sobs guiding Mikey's hand between her thighs, coaxing two of his fingers to slide inside her.

He thinks back to how desperate and broken her mind seemed to work, and suddenly everything made sense.

He realized she had probably met them right after the proposal. He felt pity for [name] yet it was still not an excuse for her behavior.

"She didn't do anything drastic right?" Wakasa asks Mikey to make sure [name] wasn't too disruptive.

"Don't worry Wakasa-san, she fell asleep as soon as she hit the bed." Mikey replies with an uncertain smile.

"I see...Please ask her to come home soon. Thanks for doing this Mikey." Wakasa pats him on the shoulder walking back into his house.

—————————

"You told him I was drunk?" [name] asked shocked by the revelation. Mikey gives her a nod.

"He's going to murder me... You- ...You didn't say anything else right?"

[name] averts her gaze as she questions him.

"No, I just said you fell asleep as soon as you got to the bed." He explains.

"But..." He continues making [name] look at him in a slight panic.

"I don't take your brother for an idiot."

That was all he said.

[name] nods at him before finally saying everything she had decided to say while taking a shower.

"Manjiro, I'm sorry. I truly am. I was sorry all those years ago, I was sorry last night, and I will continue to remain sorry for what I have done. I have no excuse for—"

"[name] you don't need to do this-" Mikey's words interrupt her but it only makes [name] lash out.

"No! I have to. You deserve an apology, okay?!" His lips seal shut and [name] takes it as a sign to continue.

"I was really sad when I found out that Senju and Yuzuha had gotten engaged. Over the years Senju had started growing distant towards me to the point that we had completely stopped talking.

A part of me knew that she slowly realized that it wasn't worth loving someone like me, she didn't need to stay with someone who tormented her at every turn.

I was so depressed by the silent rejection that I would sleep with anyone who slightly resembled her in looks, personality, submission, or anything that reminded me of her. I would project her onto my partners and I unconsciously did the same to you.

I would try to stop myself by telling myself that Senju and I just got too busy, friends drift apart but when they meet it's left they never left. I would tell myself that it would be the same with us. That Senju would love me again when she saw me, yet it didn't go as planned.

Manjiro, It wasn't a lie when I said I loved you. I love you! I really really love you! But when Senju came into the picture I started loving her even though I never forgot you. I...

Manjiro, I'll be better! I'll go to therapy, anything! Anything to better myself. Just give me a chance... I'll be better so you won't ever regret having loved me. I'll make myself better so you don't have to be ashamed of me. Just give me a chance..."

[name]'s heart felt light as soon as all the words spilled out of her, but immediately a brick was stacked on her heart once again and she dreaded his response.

She told herself that no matter his response, no matter what he said she would accept.

"Okay."

[name] looks at him in disbelief. Did he just agree?

"Okay?"

"Okay. I'll give you a chance. But only when you can accept the true relationship between Senju and Yuzuha. Can you do that?" Mikey asks her.

[name] nods trying to compose herself.

"Yes, I can do that!" [name] assures.

"Are you sure, [name]? Are you ready to accept the fact that Senju no longer loves you? Are you ready to accept the fact that as we speak Senju is probably getting filled and fucked by someone who will never be you?"

By the end of the sentence, Mikey had pulled [name] close to him by her shoulders, making sure that her eyes stared back at his.

He knew his words were brutally honest, the last part might have been unnecessary but he could no longer ignore just how hurt he was by her.

[name]'s heart ached at his words but she kept staring back, not moving her gaze for even a second.

"Yes. For you, I will accept it." Was [name]'s response. Hearing this Mikey lets go of [name] and steps back. A few seconds go by as neither of them says anything, yet they don't break their stare.

"Very well. I will wait for you." Mikey finally lets out a smile, his heart grows heavy when [name] smiles back and bows as a thank you.

He watches as she turns around and leaves the house, closing the door behind her.

He already knew how fate works, and what it will do to him since god was never on his side.

He always wondered if he was being watched by the devil, and he wondered if he would keep looking upon him till he had taken everyone from his life.

[name] too wondered if she had a devil in her.

Being loved by [name] was truly a beautiful thing. But it would become dangerous if it isn't reciprocated. She would never directly hurt anyone, but everyone around her would end up in the crossfire and would get used by her to ease her.

Then she would think of ways revenge, payback in ways that would have her love come crawling back.

Even now, as she makes her way home the devil persuades her to forget about Mikey. He tells [name] to go find Senju and make her forget all about her fiance.

He coaxes [name] to find her and fuck her into oblivion. Make sure that [name] will always be the best tongue to fuck her, the best fingers to stuff her full, the best pussy she'll ever taste, the best sex she'll ever experience. The most loved she'll ever feel.

This was tempting for [name], but for now, she'll ignore the devil and only listen to Mikey. She will make him take the place of an angel or rather...

Make him a devil to kill her own.

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