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kiss-me-muchoo · 1 year

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𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 || 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐎’𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one || part two: with a broken heart

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ When Miguel fell so hard for an anomaly that ended up being another one of his canon events; a soulmate.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ fluff, angst?, reader is a hot Hispanic sunshine, plot twist at the end, age gap? (How old is Miguel?, like 28, early 30's?, reader is like 20 not specified) I'm 19, so in my head reader is 20, fuck it <3.

𝐀𝐍_ hellooo, this is my Ist fic for this fandom, I've been trying to hide this crush for weeks, I can't anymore.

♪ ♫ 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙊𝙍𝙎𝙏 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙈𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙚𝙡 𝙈𝙤𝙟𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖.

<3,𝙄𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙭 (+fics)

_________________

[ 2 months before the events of SPIDERMAN: ATSV]...

Nothing is perfect; nothing can be that special. But somehow, you ended up being that, or at least almost.

Because this is how everything starts; you were stressing out for college sophomore year finals when in the middle of your room, a portal opened and absorbed you.

Sounds incredibly ridiculous and cringe... Right?. Well, it's about to get worse.

The portal only left you there, hanging between random universes. There you are seeing how your shoes fly away and your hair is tangling like crazy, and out of nowhere, a spider that seemed like it was made of silver bit you. And seconds later, you were back at home stressing over the finals.

Yeah, you didn't think it would be a problem, only that it increased your phobia of spiders. Later, you accepted that Los Angeles would have an arachnid vigilante.

Yeah, Los Angeles. No shit, you wouldn't fly to save New York in your universe just to fit the stereotype. Besides, they already had one. One who died and then the most significant and original anomaly, Miles Morales.

That's for later, by the way.

You had your suspicions of the existence of the multiverse but no curiosity. You only cared about your sacred home and, to be more specific, your friends and family.

So it goes; you were a spider-woman with sassy webs and fantastic hair, saving people from the crime on Skid Row, abusive elites in Downtown, corruption in Glendale, etc etc.

Your family didn't knew about it, nor friends. Social media gave you a cool but weird surname; Aragmatica.

So you had everything; no pressure from being the spider-woman Aragmatica, wonderful friends, and family. A transcription remote job and a firm college pathway to be a writer and teacher. Though, you would be lying if you said you didn't want to meet the Spiderman from New York. Your abilities were barely used, so the news about your existence were remotely passed by. That's why you were completely fine with it, you had everything.

Except for one thing; love.

You didn't have anyone to hold, anyone who made you laugh. Someone who made you feel the scarlet blush and raced heartbeats. Thus, Why would you care for that? You were so young and you didn't need that commitment yet.

Finally, your official transcript from that year was carefully sealed in an envelope. Summer break was yours, starting with a good ballet class.

Your spider senses weren't fully developed because you never saw 4 pair of eyes watching you.

The class was fun, though. All the music was from the most famous plays, and having the opportunity to wear a tutu was always accepted.

You didn't care coming out of the building wearing it after the friendly teacher gifted you the fluffy piece of clothing.

You also didn't care to sing slightly aloud as you walked towards your car.

And that's when 4 individuals interfered with your way; Peter B. Parker, Hobie Brown, and Gwen Stacy.

"Uh... nice cosplays. But the Comic-Con is more to the south. In San Diego..." They looked at each other. Only the older guy stepped further, laughing.

"Oh, you're funny. There's also one in my universe, but it's celebrated in Coney Island and-" only that Gwen pinched him. The older man frowned.

"She's leaving, Peter," Gwen said.

"Hey! Wait!" Peter stopped you from closing your car door, and you looked more confused than ever.

"Dude, back off. There must be kids near us. You don't want to do this..." Hobie giggled. He had remained leaning against a mailbox during the whole interaction.

"What? No-, I-. We need to talk to you... we're also spider people" Rolling your eyes, you just rested your head on the steering wheel.

"Yeah, your suits are too good to be a cosplay. I like your pointe shoes though" Gwen blushed but said thank you for your flattery.

"I'm Peter B. Parker. The guy with the cool outfit that's Hobie Brown. And the girl with the pointe shoes you liked is Gwen Stacy" They looked lovely. Hobie and Gwen, probably your age, but you were running late for dinner. You had to drop the transcript for validation in early registration for admissions to transfer.

You didn't have time for this "Have you heard of the Avengers initiative?" Type of moment.

The best you could do was politely turn them down. But they were already inside your car.

"Hey!. Okay, if this is some spider intervention, I don't have time to travel between universes and that stuff" Hobie started playing your radio. Again, you rolled your eyes.

"This is good music, girl. Nice.." he said, making you smile a little. He seemed nicer.

"Thanks, but." Then Gwen interrupted you.

"You could be dangerous or cause a massive disaster for canon. You are a rare case between spiders" For the first time, you were quiet. Maybe that omen was this, that not everything could be perfect.

"You felt it...." Peter said because your silence was loud enough to tell him.

"You knew about us then?"

"The multiverse and variations are not a thrill in this universe, but I wasn't expecting this on a random Friday afternoon. Besides that, Why don’t you go and ask the famous Spiderman from this earth? " you explained and questioned. They all exchanged looks, which makes you grow curious, but you ignore it of course.

"That Spiderman is not our problem right now. Our boss wants to meet you. We need to know what type of anomaly you are" They all heard you sighing. You had too many questions but also tired, so you wouldn't be annoyingly asking them millions of questions.

"Okay." Peter shrugged in disbelief.

"That's it?. No questions?" Gwen passed you a blue band, probably to travel between universes.

"Not energetic nor annoying. Miguel will like her," Hobie stated, comfortable in the passenger seat.

"Just don't smile too much, avoid questions, and you'll be fine" Humming in agreement, you waited.

A portal of bright colors and blinding flashes appeared seconds later from your car's windshield. It was different from what you expected. In the movies looked easier.

"Okay, here we go..." Peter announced. And with fast blood pressure, you followed them.

It was a prolonged free fall and the twists in your stomach were getting painfully evident. What seemed to last a minutes was actually a second, and you had no time to land properly.

The first thing you felt was the urge to complain on the ground. Laying on your stomach, with your hair in a now disheveled bun.

Everyone turned to look at you, finally noticing you were wearing a tutu and leotard in grey and black colors.

"Lost your hoodie?" Gwen asked, being the first to start giggling, followed by the others.

"Could any of you have alerted me to prepare for this type of landing?" You asked no one in particular. Then you analyzed Gwen's question.

"MY hoodie!. Damnit, it was new!" And that's how you lost 75 dollars. But soon, you stopped thinking about the new tour merch you lost.

It was a bright earth, futuristic and agitated. And as soon as you entered the giant building, you noticed it was full of spider people.

From any size to any color, but... no one was similar to you. Well, you didn't have a suit yet, but... you couldn't feel a spider sense with anyone. Well, you could, since the place was full of spiders people, but there's an specific tingle that lets you know when you share similar abilities or DNA with other spiders.

"Surprised?" Gwen asked, walking by your side.

"Well. I'd rather say disturbed," she giggled.

"You're unlike any spider I've met," the blonde added.

"Oh please, I can't be that special." Bored or not, you were missing dinner. Your family would be worried if you didn't come back past midnight. Hopefully, your first interaction with another universe will be quick.

"Oh, but you are. That's why you're here..." said a new voice. When you turned, you were even more confused.

A pregnant spider-woman?. Could you feel any weirder?.

"Uhh- Hi...I'm y/n, this is the weirdest day of my life" She nodded laughing. Her yellow glasses were very cool, you liked her look in general.

"We know that. But let's go, Miguel needs to see you..." and officially, that was the beginning of everything.

The HQ was futuristic, wide and full of people. Everything was so weird that edged being ridiculous. Until, the group of spiders lead you to a dark room. Full of technology and chemistry stuff.

For the first time, you felt a tingle when he finally faced you; Miguel O'Hara. And to be honest, his broad and tall figure intimidated you.

He said you were a bizarre anomaly. You were the only spider person who had been bitten between universes. Meaning that you were an accident. While there must be variants of you, none of them were spiders, nobody was like you.

Unconsciously, your own canon was building up as every day passed, like a plague. Any of your actions were vital for everyone. One bad movement and everything could go to hell.

He offered you a place in the group to keep order among universes. Suspicious, but seemed honest at the same time.

"I appreciate the offer, but I have a degree to finish. And I got enrolled for summer ballet classes..." you said, ambling towards the exit. The man sighed, not ready to deal with another extroverted spider like most of his coworkers.

"No. You need to be a responsible spiderwoman and do what you're expected to do," the man said, intimidating you more as he towered you. Beside getting lost in his amazing hair, intriguing brown eyes and sharp jaw, your thoughts were running. Maybe you were being selfish. Most of the people in the room had lost a lot and you hadn't. This was the least you could do.

"You just said I'm an accident. There are no expectations from me. I can't break canon. I'm making my own, What could go wrong?..." you dared to say, avoiding looking into his brown eyes.

"You want to find out?" a little closer, and you would touch his chest. Besides, the tingle was back. Miguel also felt it, but he called it on you being angered by this new phase you would enter.

You knew he was going to be hard to deal with from now on. But deep inside, you liked the feeling he had planted on your stomach.

"No.." you admitted. Slightly afraid of losing what you had. He smiled but for less than a second.

"That's what I thought" After that, it was history.

Two months. And things were... okay.

You made a great friendship with Peter and Hobie. Something inside you was stopping you from trusting Gwen at all.

Then, Jessica was good but slightly challenging. Even Pavitr was good.

And then, there was Miguel.

Fucking Miguel O'Hara. He was dead serious every time. Still, you refused to show he could intimidate you.

Like right now, or... at any moment, whatever.

"He's going to kill you..." Lyla whispered, moving in circles around you.

"He won't if someone doesn't tell him" she frowned.

"He's going to kill us both, y/n," she almost yelled. Following you to the briefing of a new case.

"He can't kill you, Lyla. Be serious..." you stated, shrugging.

"I don't want to know..."

"Me neither. So just shush..." The room was almost empty. Only Peter, Hobie, and Jessica were inside.

The sound of the door captured everyone's attention

"Shoot" you said, looking at Miguel who sighed. After that, he stopped talking.

"You're late..." Of course, he would remark on your irresponsibility.

"I had a dentist appointment. What can I say?" he rolled his eyes and indicated you sit down.

"Sorry, I won't come late again would be fine" Miguel scolded you, and then kept giving instructions.

Earth-238, neon venom, evacuated civilians, blah blah blah. The mission would be easy, and you'd be leaving the room.

"Okay, everyone... gone, now" Jess finalizes.

"Not you, y/n..." Miguel's voice caught you off guard. When you turned around, Lyla was still whispering to him.

"Bitch..." you whispered.

"Hey, I'll wait for you," Hobie said, indicating that he would wait outside the room.

You nodded at him, smiling as he left.

"Why did you send the evidence of last week's mission to Jessica instead of me?" He asked, arms crossed.

"She's also my boss," you admitted, avoiding his judgemental brows and gaze.

"I'm in charge. She's second in command. So?..." you pinched the bridge of your nose, anxiety creeping over.

"I-.." It was useless; you had to be honest.

"Because uh-, I didn't want you to see the anomaly recording" he was right. He knew you would be afraid of his reaction. Something inside switched to be softer.

"I almost fail to save that girl. It was an accident, but... I can't control this new ability. And I want to do a good job" Your anxiety was evident. Miguel had to suppress a smile.

"You have a big responsibility on your shoulders. The power to retain or doom canon" a lecture was coming. And you wished he wore his mask because you could see his whole features. Making it prone to capture any negativity from him.

"And that's why you must be on missions with me, not Jessica. I'm training you, not her" To be honest, you were surprised.

"You make me nervous all the time. I'm afraid I'll make something stupid on any of these days, and you'll send me home. My life is so boring..." He kind of chuckled, and it made you beyond surprised.

"I thought you were working on the English degree and summer ballet classes."

"You remember it?" Could your heart beat any faster?. His eyes were deep-fixed on yours, and it was killing you in a good way.

"Please stop giving me that look. I'm gonna piss myself off from nervousness."

"Don't think too much about it. You're doing good, kid" The pat on your shoulder made you explode.

Right there, you knew it was over. You had a crush on Miguel O'Hara.

Was it possible to see everything in pink shades and heart sprinkles? That's how you were looking at every universe. You were starting your lover era.

"PETER! PETER!" You yelled, running towards the man, heading out of the cafeteria. Most spider people on the headquarters looked at you, but you didn't care.

"Woah, calm down, girl," he said with a smile.

"I need to tell you something" he couldn't describe your excitement but happily took your hand when you pushed him inside an empty conference room.

"I have a crush on Miguel," you said with an evident blush.

"YOU WHAT?" He asked yelling.

"I know, I know. But... he's so sweet to me. He said I shouldn't be nervous about him and that I was doing good. He remembers my career and that I'm doing ballet classes. Oh, and today he opened the door for me TWICE!" You explain excited, pinching your suit. It was half synthetic and half like the one from Miguel. In navy colors and silver details. You loved your suit.

"This is insane. Are you insane, y/n?. We're talking about Miguel. Our grumpy and snarky boss that gets stressed over the tiniest detail and doesn't know how to smile" You nodded, rolling your eyes.

"It's not like he's the love of my life or destiny, Peter. It's just a crush...." you tried to convince yourself.

"No, no, no. I disapprove of this. Isn't he a little older for you?" You sighed.

"Oh, c'mon. MJ is younger than you, Mr. No age gap"

"This is serious, y/n. I've known Miguel for a long time. You know what happened to him. I don't think he's emotionally ready for this" he was right. But you were confident that this crush wouldn't be a big issue.

"I know. The least I want to do is hurt him. But once again, it's just a crush, Peter," you started coming out of the room. And, like a big coincidence, Miguel was walking through the hallway with Lyla talking to him.

"Hey, is it okay if I go to your office at lunchtime?" you asked the broad man once he was walking near you. He had his mask, that if you stared too long, it was a severe and scary gaze, but he nodded once. Neither you nor Peter noticed Miguel was actually looking at you. Causing him to feel a weird pricking.

"Sure," with that, he left with the female AI giving you a bad look.

"What?" Peter asked in disbelief once again.

"See? Nothing to worry about, love," you said.

...

In your Hispanic household, dinner was very important. And the one you missed two months ago was an issue that your family hardly let go.

"Don't be so late, corazón." your grandma told you from the kitchen. You entered the room being greeted by the smell of mole and ponche.

"With this food waiting for me, I will return in a second, abuelita," she giggled as you kissed her cheek.

"I'm just going for a stretch. And maybe a flan for dinner" Your favorite part of the day was starting. So happily, you left the house. AirPods on with your favorite music blasting through them, and it felt like heaven.

Swinging from palms to buildings and watching the crowds of the traffic of LA. Until you were in the Fashion District Downtown. You stopped at your favorite rooftop to see the last minutes of the West Coast sunset.

And it was beautiful. Orange, pink, yellow, purple, blue, and black. Like a firework evaporated in the sky.

The air feels perfect for taking a long breath, and you feel thankful for having a good day.

"Hey." you nearly fell from the building, but a well-known bright red web caught you in time.

When you turned around, you had Miguel watching you.

"Miguel?. What are you doing here?" The surprise and shock were eating you alive. Maybe an emergency happened, or he would get you banned from the Spider Society. Who knows?

"Just checking on you..." lately, he had been more close to you. Giving you a hand on missions, being willing to have more extended conversations, and softer pieces of advice.

"Why?" You ask, arching a brow.

"Last week, you were a little slow." he hears you giggling, and as he walks closer, he sees you hanging your toes on the edge. He sees your hair freely fly as you laugh. Cute, he thinks.

"I was on my period. We're good now..." he thanked, wearing the mask because his cheeks were burning.

"Don't be silly, Miguel. It's... normal," you said after he stood there quietly.

"Come, seat with me.." he obeyed, establishing some distance with you, but not too much.

Then he deactivated his mask, and you confirmed that his hair always looked gorgeous.

"Your universe is interesting," he said finally.

"We are very fixed; little surprises us. And capitalism is leading us to ruin, but yes... it's interesting" Miguel wasn't expecting that answer but smiled. Only because you didn't catch it.

"You are spending too much time with Hobie," you laughed, nodding.

"Yeah, I'll take that.." This time, you noticed his smile. And you wanted to keep the moment a little longer.

"Can we talk?"

"We are talking, y/n..." he let out a brief chuckle again.

"No, I know, but, like seriously...I'm afraid. Of hurting someone in the process of creating a disaster with this thing of being an anomaly" For weeks, you tried to avoid the thoughts of insecurity. But this was a good moment because Miguel had been training you, and he was the right and worst person to talk about this.

"And it frustrates me that I don't completely understand at all what am I..." you said, covering your face, letting all the intrusive thoughts out. Because even on a good day, anxiety could sneak in.

"Being a spider person means being afraid of many things. There's never complete peace. We live alert day by day. Keep in mind that you'll constantly worry, but it's part of the job. You don't sign for it; it just hits you" his words were profound. Enough to soothe some of your panic.

"I wish I could be straight to the point like you..." Miguel was urged to touch your hand or strands of hair that brushed his forearm. But he resisted, only looking at your profile.

"No. It's good to be honest and worry too."

"And you're something bigger than an anomaly. You're special" Maybe his tone made everything sound softer.

"Well, I don't feel special," you admitted.

"I feel like an accident. Not meant to be here, but nothing else to do."

"You don't need to feel it. I just see it..." when you turned to look at him, it was his soft look that made you realize, you were falling in love with him.

As your smile grew, Miguel completely ignored any thought of fear. He was just feeling, letting his heart warm and reciprocate your smile.

"You have to come and have dinner with my family and me," you blurted excitedly, changing the subject.

"No."

"SI!."

"Por Dios. No, y/n!" He said, rolling his eyes.

"They're not annoying or nosy, I promise," you pleaded. He knew there was no problem because your family thought you were in a new program in college. That was your lie to disguise your time with him and the team. Either way, Hispanic families could be nosy when a girl arrived home with a man.

"Please, as a thank you for listening to my bullshit. Por favor, ándale. Di que si..." he couldn't say no. He didn't want to reject you.

"Está bien, pues....'

He smiled again, watching you celebrate as you started balancing between buildings. Soon he followed you, happy to feel the way he was doing, and completely ignoring what he preached to keep canon safe.

...

The shock on everyone's faces only increased the more you talked.

Pavitr, Gwen, Hobie, and Peter had their mouths open.

"And then, we went to get a flan for dinner. A kid asked for a selfie with us, and it was so silly," you narrated.

"When we arrived home, he was so sweet. Only speaking Spanish, and he told mi abuelita I was doing great in job" Peter decided it was time to cover his mouth with one hand. Soon, everyone followed, keeping their shock.

"Dad was slightly judgmental but soon changed his mind because Miguel accepted a beer from him."

"Oh, and we spent hours in my room" That was enough for Peter.

"WHAT?... EXCUSE ME?"

"NO, PETER!. Jesus... we spent hours in my room because I was explaining to him some of my analysis from literature classes" The color returned to his face.

Nodded understanding, and everyone else laughed.

"I can't believe this. I simply can't..." Pavitr confessed.

"Love can come in strange ways..."

"Who's talking of love, Pavitr?" Hobie asked playfully.

"Well.." you whispered.

"What else?" Gwen almost jumped, needing to know more. You were starting to like her more. So you started narrating the flashback.

Once again, both of you were back on a rooftop. It was almost 2:00am.

"I-, I liked this..." Miguel managed to say. Looking down at you, trying to regain his neutral and serious tone and look. But after spending hours with you, it seemed impossible.

"Me too. You were so caring, and thank you for being so comprehensive" Your excitement match your words, not that Miguel cared. But he realized you had jumped and grabbed both of his hands. And before you pulled away, he was caressing your knuckles.

"It was nothing..."

"Are you coming tomorrow?" He asked, ignoring the way he always tells everyone he doesn't like touching or any type of contact.

"I think I stopped being a half-time employee some time ago..." he nodded, smiling.

"True."

Hands were still holding. And none of you wanted to break the touch.

"Till tomorrow then..." you said, sad to break the touch but happy for everything that happened that night.

And with that, you saw Miguel opening a portal, and you left.

"NO - FUCKING - WAY!" Gwen yelled.

"Are you sure you weren't dreaming while drunk?"

"No, Peter. I can't drink yet" he snorted as if he had heard something incredible. Gwen couldn't stop looking lost, taking time to digest the information, Pavitr too, and Hobie was... being Hobie.

"Dude looks nice with her. I heard him laugh the other day," Hobie stated.

"Me too. And he canceled a meeting to go and train her," Pavitr added.

"He's, like, the last person I imagined you would say you had a date with."

"It wasn't a date..." you said.

"IT WASN'T A DATE?. Girl, he had dinner with your family, listened to your boring old books for hours, and held your hands for... five or eight minutes?"

"Okay. maybe it unconsciously turned into a date." They all nodded in agreement.

"Oh, my god... Was it a date?"

Peter sighed as he watched you laugh with Hobie. Soon went straight towards Miguel's lair. The man greeted him with a silent wave, before returning to look at all of the recordings and screens playing them.

".. y/n is very happy. Did you two have fun last night?" He asked Miguel once stepped further.

"I'm not discussing this with you," the broad man approached to say.

Peter loved you like family. He wanted you to be happy and safe.

He trusted Miguel after knowing each other. But he wasn't sure if you two had a bright future. After all, Peter saw how Miguel changed so much after losing Gabriella.

"I don't want to discuss this with you either."

"So?"

"Look, she's like family. You are like family too. I want her to be happy. And you too, man. But... I want you to think... Is it correct?" Miguel stopped looking at the screens.

"We can't lose her. And I don't want to see another era of pain and collapse" It hit him.

What was he thinking? Letting all of his feelings take over him. He couldn't be in love; it wasn't meant for him.

Your canon was unsure, delicate. And his... was doomed. He imagined having to see you gone, and he wasn't ready to find out. He wasn't ready to go through that pain again. And he didn't want to see you in pain.

"Just think... because maybe it's meant to be, but-"

"No. You're right..." Miguel accepted.

Peter grew quiet.

"After y/n leaves tonight. Call the others, except Hobie..." Peter nodded unsure, wondering what was Miguel plotting.

Miguel made a decision. Losing you was going to save both of you. Or so he thought.

...

Weird.

The cafeteria was quiet.

Then a piece of your suit ripped off.

And spider-cat was absent!!!

Then, you didn't see Miguel the day before. When you asked Lyla, she said he was swamped with his job, so you would not make him stressed. Plus, having some space after spending the night together would be great.

"Hey!" You called Hobie when he sat next to you on a bench. He was used to visiting you in your universe. He liked the food and how the people complained about something new daily.

"Something feels weird," he blurted, tilting his head.

"RIGHT?. I thought I was the only one" he nodded and sighed. That was also weird; Hobie never hesitated to spit the words out.

"What?"

"Yesterday. After you left, Peter called everyone except for me. It seemed weird that just as you left, he called everyone to get a lecture from Miguel," Another weird thing. Why you and Hobie would be excluded? Well, he rarely followed rules, but he was always included in briefings.

"Miguel stopped wasting his time with me, But a meeting without you?" Maybe it wasn't anything. Perhaps a simple meeting. There had been some occasions where you had not been present.

"Do you wanna go out and ignore why we were excluded?" you asked playfully. He nodded with a cocky smile.

"Hell yeah..." Both of you left in seconds.

Spending time with Spider-punk was always fun. Hobie made you remember things like; fuck it, just do it.

But for the first hour, you didn't find anyone. Even when the headquarters of the Spider Society were big, you thought it would have been easier.

By the evening, you find yourself eating an empanada, thinking of Miguel. Accepting you started missing him.

"Guys!.." Gwen called you and Hobie, appearing from an elevator that had opened.

"Don't ask anything yet..." you nodded to him.

"We were busy being scolded by Miguel. But there's a new mission we need to go to. And he wants us all, let's go..." Hobie and you exchanged looks, not buying Gwen's words.

You got too carried away, forming possible explanations for her weird behavior. Why you hadn't seen your friends the day before?. And why you and Hobie were excluded from the last meeting?.

When you follow Gwen, you didn't even look at Pavitr taking Hobie away.

As soon as you entered the room, Jessica, Peter, and Miguel were inside.

"Where's Hobie?" Miguel asked. You also turn confused, because he was right behind you.

"He was right here..." Gwen mumbled, looking around, making Miguel sigh tired.

He didn't look at you for the first minutes of the debriefing. The more he ignored your presence, the more your questions emerged.

"Everyone get ready... except for y/n," he announced with his neutral and cold face.

"Why?"

"You're going home."

"WHAT?" you screamed.

At the end of the day, Miguel wasn't ready for this. But he was doing his best, even if it meant lying to you.

"Your canon is changing, constantly glitching. We can't risk anything happening. I'm sending you home..." he explained like nothing.

"No, please. I'm not a danger. If it was something bad, it would've happened already" he kept looking straight at the doors, not even moving.

It hurt you that he was still unsure of you, especially after everything he said in your home.

"It's for the best."

"Can we talk... In private?" You whispered, taking his forearm. He slowly moved away, making you feel the pain grow.

"There's nothing to talk about"

"Oh really?. I think we do. What about the other day?"

"It wasn't a coincidence that you appeared after someone tried opening portals in your earth," you gasped in shock.

"I did recruit you for the sake of the Spider Society. I needed to know you were not a threat."

"You said I was special" he managed to hear you whisper. And it was tearing him.

"You are. But a potential danger too. Which is why l'm sending you home.." you shake your head, fighting the tears rapidly forming in your eyes.

"All of you knew about this?" You asked, looking at Peter, Gwen, and Jessica.

The pregnant woman bowed her head while Gwen looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't.

"We do this because we care for and want to protect you..."

"Really? This is not what friends do. All you do is lie and lie to me!" you said with a broken voice.

"I'm sorry," Miguel admitted looking down.

"GOD, STOP LYING" you yelled.

"Tell me I meant nothing to you. Or admit you might be scared of the possibility of falling in love with me..."

"There is no love in this equation. You have made all of this in your head." he broke you. You swore you heard your heart decreasing its heartbeats.

"For one minute, I thought you... felt the same, that you cared" As he stood there quietly, you started crying.

To everyone's shock, it was the first time they saw you crying. Gwen tried to reach you, but you stepped back, moving away from all of them.

At the same time, Pavitr and Hobie entered the room.

"Something weird happened. You might want to see this, boss," Pavitr announced.

"It was dope..." Hobie admitted leaning on the door frame. But stood quiet after watching you crying.

The moment turned uneasy, debating whether to go or stay with you.

"Please, let's go, and then we'll talk with tranquility about this," Peter told you. Giving a look that he wasn't happy with seeing you cry.

Slowly, you followed them. Ignoring Miguel's look.

Then you thought, What was the point of following them? If they would send you home after that?.

Anger wasn't a good feeling, but it was blinding you. All the fantastic facade they sold of being good friends. The months Miguel lied to you. He could have done it differently. But he even dared to agree to have dinner with your family.

He held your hands and made you believe there was a chance. He made you believe you weren't dangerous, that you could be in control of your fate.

So you stopped following them and turned to the lower plant of the building, deciding to that you would choose what you wanted, not what they thought it was correct.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group watched how all of the canon was held together. Until your specific web was expanded.

Your web was tiny, like a baby's. It glitched a lot, but when Miguel entered with the others, he noticed the glitch was even more aggressive than ever.

There were only two canon moments; you getting bit and joining the Spider Society. But there were new ones forming. And from the shiny dot, a new line grew.

"What the hell?" Peter asked in disbelief.

"This isn't possible..." Jess whispered.

Lyla was following your web and paying attention. Until she saw the first new canon event. You would lose your best friend, and the time was quickly coming. Gwen lowered her head, lamenting for what you would suffer, just like her.

But then, your thread started moving and growing until it was connected to another one: Miguel's.

And from that connection, a new canon event was officially established.

You and Miguel together.

"Holy sh-" Gwen almost said but couldn't finish the sentence.

"Does this mean..." Jessica started.

"She's part of your canon," Peter confirmed.

Miguel was in shock; his eyes remained on what the model displayed. Your masked figured siding his. You were really meant for him. He hadn't need to worry about it ending in disaster. Still, it didn't soothe him.

"Uh-boss? Our pretty little y/n started a countdown to return home and temporarily block the entrance to her earth," Lyla announced, appearing beside Miguel.

He turned to look at her, worried.

"What?"

"I tried stopping her, but I believe she's growing her cosmic powers?" the day couldn't get more complicated for Spider-Man 2099.

"Cosmic powers?" Peter asked, running after Miguel, who started heading towards the exit.

Lyla, crossed her arms looking at everyone starting running. She couldn't admit it to anyone. That if your issue wasn't fixed, something darker could happen.

The Al couldn't throw salt in Miguel's wound.

"Jessica, send help. Lyla, stop her," he demanded. Jessica nodded, and Lyla disappeared.

"There's no spider with cosmic powers. But y/n was a bit between universes. So maybe she has some of them or..."

"Peter shut up!. I just can't lose her!" If you were Miguel's destiny, he would do things right. And he regretted setting up all of the secret meetings and lies.

He rushed to get to you faster than anyone. He wasn't even sure the blocking earth thing worked.

Maybe he was exaggerating, but he was willing to set the alarms so everyone would try to stop him.

If he had waited a day, none of this would've happened. But he had understood once that things happened for a reason; canon.

So as fast as he was running, something inside told him it was already late.

Peter and Gwen followed close to him, ready to find you prepared to leave.

The panic finally settled when they entered the dark room, and you were already behind the colorful barrier.

"NO!. Please, y/n" You turned to hear Miguel's voice calling you.

Your look was empty, but the anger was there. He kept calling for you, but you didn't say a word.

All of you wanted was to leave. Sleep and forget you were a spiderwoman. Ease the pain of your broken heart. And accept that no matter if you were the only variant of yourself in all the universes, you were meant to choose your own destiny.

You bolted, when he had you face to face, you were gone.

Confused, you appeared on a random street in Downtown LA. Your suit was ripped, your hair was a mess, and the tears didn't seem to stop. A wave of cold air hit you, making you shiver and hug yourself.

Feeling broken and in shock, you found yourself stepping on a broken glass bottle. Your left foot instantly started bleeding, making you fall to your knees.

That's when you no longer held the tears; you just let all the sobs take over.

You shouldn't have accepted to join the Spider Society; you shouldn't have pushed your crush for Miguel.

I hate this. I hate this. God, I hate this...

With no more strength, you stood up. And tottering, you started walking towards home.

It was okay; it would be okay.

________________________

Cringe in general? Maybe… part two?

#miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara angst #spiderman 2099 #atsv #peter b parker #miguel o’hara imagine #accross the spiderverse #miguel o’hara

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illtakeyoutowonderland · 1 year

Text

I can see you (Part 2)

Modern!Aemond x Reader

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Almost a week had passed since your first encounter with the Targaryean brothers and you weren't exactly sure how to feel. You didn't tell anyone, not even Kate. She was great and you love her as your friend but didn't exactly knew her that well and after all the personal things those men had said in front of you, you weren't sure how she would react and you didn't feel right spreading all those personal details about them

You did, in fact, googled them. You read almost everything you could find, even finding their social media pretty fast. It was hilarious how cliché the brothers were. While Aegon was the party boy and scandalous, brought up by the media pretty often, usually drinking and with friends and some women, Aemond was the most quiet one. With a degree in both law and history (you tagged him in your mind as a nerd, just for the pleasure of it) always attending more formal and business events and only one romantic relationship confirmed by the media with Maris Baratheon who you had no idea who she was and couldn't find anything about

You were now in the middle of your third meeting of the day, completly (not) focused on what anyone was saying when the screen from your phone lighted up with a message from an unknown number and as you read the text, only one person came to mind

Xxx: Thought you said you had a fanbase? And still you hadn't uploaded a photo on your feed in months

Xxx: Not even a few stories? That's not very Insta Girl of you

You: Aegon?

Xxx: The one and only 😏

You: How did you get my number?

You saw the three dots that indicated he was writing a response when Kate's elbow next to you gently found your side bringing you back to the meeting. You looked at her and then to your boss who luckily for you did not see you texting

Almost another more hour went by before the meeting was over and you walked to your desk and plop down with a sigh "Thought it would never end" You said to Kate as she sat in her own desk across from you "Lucky for us only half an hour to go home"

"You weren't even paying attention" She laughed "Who you were texting anyway? You looked preocupied"

"Oh, uhm... no one important" You said shrugging as you took you phone from your pocket "Just an unexpected text, no more" She replied with a hum that indicated she didn't truly believe you but didn't push any further as you read Aegon's reply

Xxx: I have my ways...

You: You found me on insta but now also have my number? It's a little creepy if I'm being honest

Xxx: Wasn't the intention. I promise!

Xxx: I just really wanted to keep talking to you before my brother interrupted us at the party. Thought I might keep in touch, you know?

You: I'm going to choose to believe you. But just this once...

Xxx: Fair enough

You: So what's next? You are going to pop up in my office unannounced or something? 😅

Xxx: About that...

Xxx: Look up from your phone

And you did only to find the blonde man standing a little far from your own desk chatting with your boss, his father and another man you didn't recognize

"Is that Aegon Targaryean waving at you?" Katie asked you in shock and you felt how your cheeks reddenen at being caught "He was your unexpected message wasn't he?" You looked at her but said nothing and that said everything "He was!" She scream whispered and laughed "Then why are you here still in your chair? Go say hi!"

"I'm working!" You tried to excuse but she only laughed harder

"Oh, please! It's friday, our shift is over in fifteen minutes. No one is working" She scoffed as she started tu put her things away "If you don't go, I'll go over there and tell him to come over to your desk" She said using her mom's voice and you believed her. You still couldn't believe how someone your own age could have a kid. You felt like a kid yourself, how was a kid supposed to raise another as beyond your knowledge.

"Fine" You said rolling your eyes as she laughed at your childish behaviour. You walked over to the group of men praying the earth would swallow so you wouldn't have to face this

"Y/N! Hi!" Aegon said as you approach and you smiled at him. He walked to you but the other men saw your little interaction

"I wasn't aware you knew Y/N" Your boss said and you just wanted to kill Aegon right in the spot

"We met at the party last week" He said smiling but not failing to notice how much you wanted to murder him "We talked breifly" He scratched the back of his neck

"The social one of the family, my son" Viserys said with a laugh and it took everything in you not to slap him for being such a hypocrite "Always admire that from him" Aegon smiled nervously at that and the man offered you a hand shake as he introduced himself "I'm Viserys, Aegon's father, owner and CEO of Targaryean Law Firm. And this is Criston Cole the vicepresident" He said with a smile which replied with one of yours and a little hello and the men nodded at you. And that's when you saw from the corner of your eye a second blonde man and of course it had to be fucking Aemond followed by another man probably the age of Viserys "Great timing! This is Otto Hightower my most loyal friend and president and my youngest Aemond" He said introducing the two men and Aemond's eyes went wide as he spotted you

"It's nice to meet you all" You said with a smile trying to ignore Aemond's eyes on you

"Y/N here is our newest addition" Your boss said proudly and you were ready to dig your own whole on the earth. You looked over at Aegon who looked at you like a puppy that was well aware it was guilty and he mouthed a sorry "New to the company and to town"

"Where are you from?" Criston asked you and you tell them where you used to live "That's a lovely place, I went there over a summer a few years ago"

"And why the sudden change? If I may ask" Otto asked you curiously and barely hidding the fact he was trying to gather some information about the new Aegon's friend

"Just needed some change of air" You shrugged being as vaguely as you could and the man smiled at you knowing what you had done to not say anything personal. Your phone started to buzz with a call from your father and you hesitated for a second "Sorry, I have to take this" You excused yourself as you walk a little farther from the group of men as you said hi to your father. You both talked for a couple of minutes as you told him you were still at work and he said he only called you to say hello and ask you about the Holidays. You missed him a lot, but still weren't sure if you could go back town to visit. He made you laugh on one final comment as he said his goobyes and you did the same "Bye, love you!" Which he replied with one love you more and then hang up as you walked towards your previous group and you noticed how both Aegon and Aemond looked over at you "Sorry, it was my father" You said to the men ignoring the brother's stares

"Ah, family, the most important thing in life, righ?" Viserys said to you and you smiled not sure what to respond to that "We should headback anyway. It was a pleasure to meet you Y/N" He said to you and you said your goobyes to the men as your boss also went back to his office to finish the day

"You have ten seconds to explain what the hell was all of this" You said to Aegon when he stay behind with you and he put his puppy face again as he stared at you for a few seconds

"And you just lost half of it" Aemond snorted from behind you. You hadn't noticed he also had stayed behind with his brother

"What are you even doing here?" You asked him annoyed and he looked up from him phone to you bored

"Business" He shrugged and went back to his phone and you rolled your eyes at him "Your ten seconds are over" He said to his brother

"Are you always this annoying?" You asked Aemond crossing your arms over your chest

"Are you always this moody?" He replied with a frown as he copied you and cross his own arms over his chest and now you could see how the fabric of his suit tensed with the movement only to reveal the muscles of his arms and shoulders. Of course he also has muscles you thought as you blushed a little noticing you stared at him for a little too long

"I'm sorry Y/N. Truly I am" Aegon's apologize brought you back from your thoughts "Wasn't my intention to make you uncomfortable. I just thought it would be good timing to contact you today since I was coming over"

"So you stalked me over instagram and magically got my personal number. Makes sense" You sarcastically said but you saw the genuine apologize on Aegon's words, and you knew half of you annoyance was due to the neverending week you just had. And Aemond's presence for some reason. So you tried not to be too harsh on him as you softened your tone "Couldn't just ask me for my number like a normal person?"

"My brother is a lot of things, normal not being one of them" Aemond snorted and smirked at his brother when he looked at him a little hurt

"Takes one to know one, I guess" You snapped at him and it was your turn to smile as you watch his smirk fade away

"Let me invite you a drink? And I'll explain everything" Aegon said breaking Aemond's and yours childish behaviour "Please?" Why are his puppy eyes so convincing?

"Fine. Just one" You agreed and Aegon smiled "Let me grab my things and I'll meet you outside" He agreed to your plan and you walked over to your desk where a very excited Kate was waiting for you for what just happened "He invited me for a drink and his brother is an asshole" You said summing everything up

"Aemond?" You hummed a yes as you put your things in your back "The one that stared at your ass all your way back here and keeps staring at you?"

"What?" You said looking up at where he was standing and you did in fact catch him staring with a smirk just as he turned to leave with Aegon to the elevators "Fucking idiot" You whispered to yourself and heard Kate laughing as you felt how your cheeks were turning red

"I'm expecting a full and very detail report about whatever happens with those two by monday fisrt thing in the morning" She said to you as you both made your way out of the building and you rolled your eyes at her but laughed anyways

"Only if you buy the coffee"

"Deal" She said as she hugged you goodbye for the weekend and left you alone with the Targaryeans

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@anehkael

If you wanna be tag, let me know! 💜

#hotd #hotd fanfic #aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #modern targaryen #modern aemond #modern aemond x reader

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blubushie · 4 months

Note

tbh, as a woman who hangs out in communities where alot of middle aged men are guaranteed to gather around, you really hit the nail on the head. i've yet to find a tf2 fic that actually captures that male camaraderie that i've seen from the men around me.

Also, knowing this is the queer website and that much of the TF2 fandom is transmasc, I'm gonna address this so these kids can't go "I don't do that!! I'm a man!! I know what men act like because I-"

Men in queer spaces don't act the same way in the queer space as they do outside of it. I know I don't, cuz people get judgy. Queer community does not like men or masculinity. If you look too much like a man, or act too manly/boyish, or engage in male behaviours even with other men, they will look down on you. The only acceptable men are behaviorally effeminate, androgynous white twinks. If you divert from this in any way—too masculine, too POC, too physically male, too tall or fat or broad—they will treat you like a predator.

So a lot of these people, if they are interacting with men, are often interacting with other young transmascs who aren't socialised in male behaviour yet (usually online), or with men in queer spaces only—men who are masking. And they think men are just like this all the time.

And any man who doesn't play up the effeminate harmless uwu-shyboy persona is now scary or being toxically masculine because he's engaging in friendly ribbing with another man while being in a queer space.

I noticed it especially when me and an older bear went to a queer event (separately, we didn't come together) and he was practically ostracised because he's tall and bearded and bald and hairy and fat and very obviously male. And it turns out he was a trans man and he felt he didn't have a place in this event because everyone shunned him, or somehow managed to bring up toxic masculinity and how they don't feel safe with men in certain spaces, all in front of him while very obviously targeting him. The younger transmascs, of which there was quite a few, agreed with this. They ALSO didn't feel comfortable with him there because he was TOO male despite being just as queer as the rest of them (if not more—he was in his 50s and the oldest person there and had been out since his early 20s, so he defo had the most life experience of everyone there as far as the trans folk were concerned).

So naturally he and I hit it off. We separated off from the group, got drinks, and spent the afternoon in the corner, just us, discussing boats and fishing and lightly ribbing each other and laughing to ourselves while everyone else kept giving us glares and side-glances. Men are not welcome in queer spaces. Masculinity is not welcome in queer spaces. People treat ANY instance of masculinity as toxic. And so these young transmascs lost out on a perfect opportunity to see how men actually interact with each other, because the only other men they're actually interacting with are other trans men who don't know how men socialised as male act either.

It's kinda sad, in a way. Cuz they're gonna continue not knowing, and when the day comes they're gonna be blindsided and not know a fucken thing about how to be men in social environments because they don't wanna listen to or observe other men, not even the transmascs what came before them. Masculinity scary or some shit. And this is why it's SO IMPORTANT to have people outside of your familiar circle or your social group or your echo chamber as friends. It's why you should befriend your elders and learn from them, not shrink in fear cuz beards are scary or something. Not everyone can be a skinny white transmasc twink and not everyone WANTS to be. Masculinity is NOT a bad thing.

Anyway rant over. Point is these people don't know what male comraderie looks like cuz they don't actually put themselves out there to experience or observe it. Or even just engage in media where it's plainly showcased. 🤷‍♂️

#blu whos

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xoxiu · 1 year

Text

first love of late spring - ot7 x reader

chapter one masterlist

join the taglist

summary: falling, falling, falling- that's what you shouldn't be doing as a young intern at hybe. falling in love with your supervisor is frowned upon, especially all seven of them. you'll never learn, will you? guess you’ll just have to be their dark secret.

tags/warnings: intern!reader, poly relationships, stockholm syndrome, age regression, spanking, drug use, sugar daddy au, dubcon, body dysmorphia

Daylight slowly faded through the office window near your tiny cubicle. It had been your first day of work, and you couldn't believe how fast it flew by. Your computer clock only confirmed this- 18:57- long past your coworkers' traditional end of the workday. But not you, you quite liked the peacefulness of the office after hours.

As HYBE's newest social media intern, you mainly took on the jobs that your managers didn't want to do- check emails, keep track of social media growth, the works. Today was spent giving you the social media passwords to Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Weverse and training you on what to do. Of course, this was taught to you by a much older man- the head of the social media department. While you knew exactly how to operate online accounts and what a Tweet was, you allowed the head manager his time in the spotlight by making him think he was teaching you the hidden knowledge of the internet.

You check Jandi, the office management system, to ensure you've done everything assigned to you today. Yes, you've logged into the platforms, filtered through comments and replies, and watched the mandatory entry videos for the company. All you needed now was to...

Call Park Jimin of BTS to remind him of his scheduled livestream on Weverse at 19:00. Shit.

Panicking, you quickly picked up your black office landline and dialed the phone number in the computer's contact list. The phone rang for what felt like the whole three minutes leading up to the scheduled time. In reality, the idol picked up after only three rings.

"Ah, Hello?" The smooth and silky voice said on the line. You wet your lips as nerves quickly sank in- you've never been good at phone calls.

"Is this Park Jimin? I'm with the social media department for HYBE."

"Yes, it is. Is there a problem tonight?"

"No, sir. This is just a reminder to be in the studio for 19:00. You have a livestream planned with managers Seo and Kang assisting you."

"Oh, yes! I'm currently in the studio waiting for the top of the hour. Thank you, manager-nim!"

Before you could correct him on your proper title, the line had gone quiet. You let out the breath you had been holding for what felt like ages before putting the phone back on the receiver. With your final task for the day done, you marked it complete before logging in your total hours for the day- eight.

You stood up and started packing your backpack. Your phone charger, tablet, novels, and miscellaneous paperwork were packed up, and you placed your headphones on your ears before exiting the office.

The BigHit social media office was on the tenth floor of the HYBE building, right in the middle of the office block. Thankfully, the elevators in the building are much more reliable and fast than the ones on your university campus. You managed to catch an empty one and pressed the button for the ground floor.

Engrossed in your phone, you didn't even look up when the elevator stopped until you heard the ping, indicating that the elevator had indeed stopped. You checked what floor you were at- floor five- before looking straight ahead to see who was entering the lift. A tall man with a black cap, white face mask, and tan sweatshirt entered the elevator. Moving to the back left corner away from the control panel, you made a quick bow.

"Hello."

The man walked into the opposite corner, also going down to the ground floor with you. He looked at you with wide, surprised eyes.

"Oh, good afternoon," he said. He glanced at his phone before looking back at you. "I don't recognize you. Are you new?"

"Yes, sir. I'm y/n, the new social media intern for BigHit. It's a pleasure to work alongside you."

You could see his eyes slant slightly, showing that he was smiling behind the mask. He gave you a short bow before reaching his hand out toward you.

"I'm Kim Namjoon. I'm sure you'll make our socials the best they can be."

Your heart skipped a beat; You had a member of the company's- no, the world's biggest idol group right in front of you, wanting to shake your hand. Timidly, you placed your hand in his, shyly shaking his hand. Namjoon chuckled, sensing your nerves.

"No need to be shy. You'll do great. Can I walk you out?" He asked as the doors to the elevator opened, revealing the empty lobby. You gave him a smile and a small nod as you both exited the lift.

"So when was your first day?" Namjoon asked.

"It was today- I mainly did training and menial tasks." Namjoon gave a disgusted noise at your response.

"That doesn't sound fun at all. Surely your work will get more fun as time goes on."

"Yes, sir. I'm sure it will. I will do my best to make you and everyone else look good online."

Namjoon gave a loud laugh at your response, further putting you at ease. He opened the side door to the parking deck for you, indicating for you to go first.

"That's a hard job, y/n-ssi; Our career depends on it."

Namjoon meant his words as a joke, but you couldn't help but have your smile falter as you gulped in fear. In reality, BTS and the rest of BigHit's public image depended on the competency you had at your job. In the back of your mind, you knew it wasn't solely your job, you had a whole team you worked for, but the thoughts wouldn't stop isolating you and solely making you the problem. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you barely comprehended Namjoon saying his goodbyes and walking towards his vehicle.

Quickly, you snapped out of it, realizing that staring at the older man as he walked to his car looked a bit stalker-ish. You walked out of the parking lot and began your trek to your apartment.

You were a recent college graduate, having had your commencement ceremony this past spring. You majored in Social Media Marketing with a minor in English and had quite the resume and portfolio following graduation. Over the summer you applied to job after job, but rarely received a callback or an interview. Smaller businesses and organizations passed on you, but you were shocked when you received an employment offer from HYBE after your second round of interviews.

In typical internship fashion, it was an unpaid gig. They did, however, offer to pay for housing and gave you a monthly allotment of money for food. While you much rather preferred a paycheck, the stipends for housing and food allowed you to at least live in Seoul. It did not, however, pay to allow you to take a bus home. So, you had to walk the thirty-minute walk home every day.

Entering your studio apartment, you sat your backpack down on the tiny countertop of your kitchen and slipped off your shoes. Your apartment was small and cheap for Gangnam, being only ₩300,000 a month for 20 square meters of space. This meant your kitchen barely had room for a table for one, your bedroom and living room were the same small room, and your bathroom held only enough extra space solely so you could stand in one place. It wasn't much, but living in Gangnam felt better than the farmland you had grown up in.

Growing up in a small village outside of Gwangju didn't provide you with much of anything in life. If anything, your childhood consisted mainly of bullying and body issues. You were much larger than most of the other kids growing up, and even now you still leaned on the thicker side. Many strangers would stare at you with your larger behind, thighs, and bust with disgust on their faces- you weren't the beauty standard in Korea. However, while attending Chonnam University in Gwangju, you befriended a group of foreign students from America that would constantly hype up your appearance, telling you that any man in America would die to have a girlfriend with a body like yours.

But you didn't live in America. You lived in Korea.

Eventually, your American friends would graduate and move back stateside, leaving you to receive glares and offensive remarks with no backup. By this time, though, the confidence your friends provided you with was stuck in your head. Their words of 'you're just short, you don't weigh that much', 'your tits are killer', and 'I'd smack that ass' never left your conscience. To this day you don't know whether to laugh at the memories or appreciate them endearingly. You just decided to do them both.

With water boiling on the stove for your instant noodles, you lay on your sleeper sofa and stared aimlessly at the chipped paint of your ceiling. Maybe someday you'll get rich and famous like Namjoon and Jimin and live in a luxury apartment, not a basement studio apartment for less than a week's worth of minimum wage.

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts #jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #namjoon x reader #hoseok x reader #yoongi x reader #bts little space #first love of late spring #seokjin x reader

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priestessofspiders · 9 months

Text

Blue Eyes

I’ve always been passionate about animals, even when I was a very young girl. I used to beg my parents repeatedly almost every week to take me to the zoo, and the family television was practically always tuned to Animal Planet, much to the chagrin of my video game obsessed older brother. I wanted to go into veterinary medicine as a career, but the cost of schooling, amount of time it would take to get my degree, and frankly grueling work hours eventually made it clear to me that that wouldn’t be an option.

Still, I made the best of the hand I was dealt, choosing to work at various animal shelters, non-profits, and other organizations associated with animals. I even had a short stint working as a janitor at the zoo I used to be so excited to visit as a child, though the commute was Hell. I had to quit that last job because it turned out that behind the scenes the zoo administration was taking far worse care of their animals than I would have liked, and I didn’t feel comfortable being complicit in their mistreatment.

In any event, this path in life eventually led me to work at a small wildlife rescue. It wasn’t an especially glamorous position, and I will freely admit the pay was abysmal, but I had a chance to make a genuine difference in the world, and that made me happy. For every sick deer or injured goose we nursed back to health, I felt like I had a real purpose.

It wasn’t always a particularly pleasant gig, if I'm being entirely honest. Even the most ardent nature lover will soon find that the task of saving wild animals begins to lose its luster after week after week of squirrel bites and diseased bird shit. Nonetheless, I genuinely did enjoy my job. At least until that final night. The night that made me never want to work with animals ever again.

See, while we didn’t have the staff to do this every night, when we had a chance to we would have a skeleton crew run the graveyard shift, since a lot of the time we’d come in the next morning to find a half-dozen missed calls from people who wanted help with some nocturnal critter or another. I was happy for the extra pay, and most of the time things were fairly quiet, so I had a chance to put up my feet and read a book or mess about on my phone in between having frantic callers ask if they could bring in a bat that had flown into their home.

That particular evening I was pacing between social media apps on my phone out of boredom when we got a call from what sounded like a very distressed middle aged man.

“This is the _____ Wildlife Rescue, how can I help you?”

“Hi uh. Well. I don’t know how to put this exactly, I know it sounds crazy, but there’s a wolf in my front yard.”

He was right. It did sound crazy. From what I was aware, there were no wolves in this state outside of zoo animals, and I highly doubted one had managed to escape captivity at my former place of employment and find its way over to this relatively isolated area. The place I lived in was not a large town by any means, little more than a couple streets full of shops surrounded by a vestigial suburb and some farmland.

“Sir, are you absolutely sure it’s a wolf? We don’t really have those around here, it’s significantly more likely it might just be a stray dog, maybe a coyote at worst.”

“I don’t- I don’t know for sure but… it’s big. Real big. If it’s a dog it’s certainly the biggest one I’ve ever seen. And there’s something wrong with how it moves, like it’s got a limp or something, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I think it might only have three legs.”

I got the man’s address and thanked him for his time before getting up to go grab the other member of the skeleton crew, let’s call him Jake. Jake had been there a little bit longer than me, and we generally got along pretty well. He used to be studying to become a veterinary technician but the stress got to him and he decided to take a job here instead. His experience with at least some veterinary medicine made him a great asset, though he did sometimes make some very stupid decisions. I once had to stop him trying to grab a rattlesnake with his bare hands just because he was so excited for an opportunity to catch a snake. However, the main reason I wanted him to accompany me was that he was quite a large man, and there was something about the whole situation which from the get-go made me very nervous. I felt a lot more comfortable bringing along someone who looked like he could bench press 400 lbs if he had to.

The farmhouse that the man had called from was only a quick drive away, maybe 15 minutes at most. At the time I thought this was quite fortunate. While the full moon was shining bright enough for us to see the road fairly well, I never liked driving long distances on these country roads after dark. I always worried a deer or something might jump out in front of the Wildlife Rescue’s crappy old van or that’d I’d take a wrong turn or something like that.

Unfortunately for Jake and I, we arrived without any difficulties at the farmhouse, and the animal was still there. I can’t quite bring myself to say it was a wolf, not after what I experienced.

It certainly looked like one though, which was quite the shock. Both Jake and I let out a near simultaneous murmur of “Holy shit” as we caught our first glimpse of the thing. Something people often forget is that wolves are big, up to 180 lbs at the largest. For comparison, huskies only get up to about 60 lbs at the most. This thing was enormous.

“That has to be a wolf. No way in Hell is this thing just a stray dog”, mused Jake.

“It might be a wolfdog,” I suggested, “it doesn’t quite look like a wolf does it? There’s something off about the proportions.”

Something about the thing’s physiology bothered me, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. It just wasn’t moving the way it should have. I was reminded of a video I’d seen a couple months ago of an extremely realistic animatronic, something made for an amusement park I think. It was quite well-crafted to be sure, it didn’t even tick off the usual “uncanny valley” alarm bells when I looked at its face, but the movements weren’t quite right. I felt the same way looking at that thing in front of the farmhouse.

The animal was looking at us now, staring towards the van, its eyes glowing in the reflected beam from our headlights. It didn’t run though, it just continued to pace, looking at us. Jake and I were stepping out of the van at this point, not sure what our next course of action would be, but determined to do our best regardless.

I found myself fiddling with my necklace as we approached; a gift from my grandfather. It’s a makeshift medallion fashioned out of an old silver dollar and suspended on a leather cord. He’d had a little hobby of making jewelry from old knick knacks, and at home I had a small collection of earrings, necklaces, bracelets, brooches, and the like, all made from various random objects. He’d unfortunately passed away a few years back, and I tried to wear at least something he’d made every day as a way to keep his memory alive. I recall him telling me after he gave me the medallion, “Now you’ll be safe in a gunfight, so long as you wear this over your heart” with a grandfatherly wink, as if I was at any risk of being a victim of old west banditry in the 21st century.

I was snapped out of my idle remembering by the sound of Jake’s voice, though I didn’t quite catch what he said. “Hm?” I muttered, indicating that he should repeat himself.

“I said it’s gotta be someone’s pet. Some rich guy bought himself a three legged wolfdog and it got out of the house maybe?” he said. Now that we were a little closer, it was clear that the animal was only walking on three legs, though it moved about with quite a degree of dexterity, as though it had long grown used to the condition.

It kept pacing back and forth, back and forth, just looking at us. Its eyes were a brilliant blue, which was a definite tip off that whatever this thing was, it wasn’t a proper wolf. When it comes to canines, blue eyes are strictly a trait of dogs. There was something else I noticed though, its tail wasn’t quite right. It seemed too stiff, and a bit too long. Suddenly it clicked in my brain what was wrong with it.

“It’s not missing a leg. Look,” I said, pointing, “it’s just sticking out one of its hind legs. Maybe it’s wounded or something like that?”

As if in response to my words, the “wolfdog” stopped pacing, looking directly at me specifically. I could feel when it made eye contact with me, those blue eyes boring into my own. I could have sworn I saw its lips turn up slightly at the edges, forming a mischievous grin. It lowered its previously extended hind leg to the ground slowly, deliberately. It didn’t have a tail at all. I doubt that it ever did. Then it began to limp towards us, whimpering softly.

How to describe what it sounded like? It’s a little difficult. I’d heard an anecdote once from an online acquaintance who worked with birds regarding an old crow they were taking care of. Crows are excellent mimics of sounds, and will often repeat noises that they frequently hear. Well, evidently, this particular crow had taken to mockingly “cawing” in a human voice. Someone must have been trying to “talk” to the bird by crudely imitating the crow’s own cries, to which the wily corvid had mirrored back their own mimicry, like a language’s native speaker mocking someone with a foreign accent by repeating a particularly egregious mispronunciation.

The “wolfdog” sounded like something copying a human copying a dog, its whimpers were artificial, stilted, almost campy. It sent shivers up my spine immediately, but Jake didn’t seem to notice.

“You’re right, he’s definitely hurt and judging from how he’s reacting to us, I’d certainly wager he’s somebody’s lost pet. I vote we take him back to the rescue and try and contact a domestic animal shelter in the morning, I’m sure we can find a cage that will fit him just for one night,” said Jake, sounding almost enthusiastic. I noticed how quickly the animal had changed from an “it” to a “he”. Humans will start bonding with anything if it seems pitiful. Jake held out a hand for the thing to sniff.

“Jake, don’t-” I started to say, about to warn him that it was equally likely the thing was so seemingly friendly due to rabies, but before the words could leave my lips, the animal was already licking his hand meekly.

“Come on boy,” Jake said in a playful tone, “let’s get you in the van, then we’ll get you some treats when we get back to the rescue.”

Jake led the animal back to the van, talking to it in a goofy sing-song tone of voice as though it were his beloved childhood dog while it made faux-whines and pretended to limp. I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t tell that something was wrong with it. From behind, I could see very clearly there was no sign of docking or anything else that could have resulted in the “wolfdog’s” tail being removed. It was as though it was born without one. There was something else too, something I couldn’t put my finger on, about its legs. It felt like I was missing something obvious, like when a word is at the tip of your tongue but you can’t remember it. The whole thing was frankly making me sick to my stomach.

The drive back to the rescue was uneventful, aside from Jake gushing about how adorable his newfound friend was. It’s not that I’m not a dog person, I have no issues with them at all, I love animals of all sorts. But this thing wasn’t a dog, nor was it a wolf, nor anything in between. I kept catching the reflection of its eyes in the rear view mirror, staring at me through the caged off back of the van. I didn’t like its eyes, piercing blue like those a human being’s. I could have sworn that once, just once, it winked at me.

One might wonder why I didn’t voice my concerns to Jake, but the simple truth is this; what was I supposed to say? It’s not like there was anything concrete I could point to beyond “bad vibes”, and I could hardly tell him to stop the van and kick the animal out onto the side of the road, could I? So, ultimately, I swallowed down my fear and tried very hard to convince myself there was nothing at all the matter.

We reached the wildlife rescue without incident, and Jake opened the back doors to the van, patting at his legs to direct the “wolfdog” to come out. The thing made a pathetic scene, whimpering as though afraid that jumping down the foot or two out of the van’s back would hurt its supposedly wounded leg, though from what I could see there didn’t look to be any injuries whatsoever. Ultimately Jake wound up assisting the thing out of the van, lifting it gently down while it whined and yelped in that terrible, mocking voice.

Jake begrudgingly put a collar and leash around the animal’s neck only at my insistence, complaining that it was obviously tame and that he was sure it would behave itself, but I wouldn’t hear of it. If he wanted to adopt the damn thing that was his own business, he still needed to follow basic safety precautions.

We guided the thing into the kennels, where we nudged it inside the largest one, a cage usually reserved for injured deer. It whined more at this perceived injustice, staring up in over-the-top performative sadness at Jake as he turned the key to lock it inside.

“Poor thing. I’m gonna get him some water and food, you wait here and keep an eye on him,” Jake said, not giving me time to respond before leaving the kennels to acquire the supplies for our “guest”. As soon as Jake left the room, the animal stopped its whining nearly instantly. I think it could tell I wasn’t falling for its act. It just stared at me, and once again I could see that faint, terrible smile on its face.

The “wolfdog” wasn’t the only occupant of the kennels that evening, there was a raccoon, a bobcat, and a goose. All of them seemed terrified of the thing. The bobcat and goose were hissing, and the raccoon’s tail was waving back and forth wildly. I’d always been told I had more empathy for animals than people, and as I stood there, being stared at by this not-wolf, I wondered if maybe that was why I instinctively was repelled by it in the same way the other patients of the wildlife rescue were. It didn’t feel like an animal.

It felt like ages, just standing there, looking at this smiling, mocking, thing shaped in a parody of a canine. In the bright light of the kennel, I could see it much clearer, and the longer I looked, the more queasy I felt.

I won't go over all of the hideous quirks of proportion that made the thing look so uncanny, because frankly most people wouldn't notice. Dogs come in all shapes and sizes, and it would take someone with a particular eye for this sort of thing to understand what I would even be talking about. To this day I still don't understand how Jake couldn't see it for what it truly was, with his education he ought to have been able to notice.

I will mention one thing though, something which especially made my skin crawl. Beneath the fluorescent light I could finally tell what had been bothering me about its legs. Wolves, dogs, and other canines all have digitigrade legs, that is to say that they walk upon their toes. It basically means that their limbs have an extra joint on which to bend, which is generally more useful for quadrupedal motion. In contrast, humans have plantigrade legs; we walk on the soles of our feet.

This animal's legs were plantigrade.

This can happen sometimes in dogs, it is a deformity which is known to occur, but this thing didn't look deformed. It didn't seem to have any trouble walking, despite its act with Jake. It just moved as though it were a human being crawling about on all fours.

It was around the same time as I had this realization that Jake entered the room with the food and water for our "guest", and I excused myself to go sit at the reception desk and try to convince myself everything was fine. It's just a weird dog, there's nothing to worry about, you're probably just tired, your mind is playing tricks on you, I kept thinking to myself, my internal monologue working overtime to wash away my discomfort while I fiddled with the medallion my grandfather made.

The terrible thing is, it was so close to the end of our shift when it happened. The sun was due to start rising in half an hour, and we would have been replaced by the morning crew. We were almost done, we were almost safe.

Jake and I had been finishing up our last remaining tasks before we had to head off for the morning when we heard an awful racket coming from the kennels. It was a terrible feline yowling, mixed with the frantic honking of a goose, followed shortly afterwards by the smashing of glass. Jake immediately began sprinting towards the sound, while I called out for him to wait.

I grabbed some bite proof gloves and a heavy apron, swearing all the while about having to deal with the stupid bobcat right before the end of my shift. While I was putting them on, I heard an awful, strangled scream. I recognized its owner at once. Something had happened to Jake.

My first instinct was to sigh in annoyance. Obviously the idiot got himself bitten, I thought to myself as I stomped my way to the kennels, grumbling all the while.

"I told you to wait you moro-" I started to say as I opened the door.

It was dark in the kennels. The only illumination came from the window, the pale moonlight glinting against the shattered glass of the fluorescent bulb strewn across the blood soaked floor. Silhouetted against the window was a tall figure, facing away from me. It was holding something. I could hear the terrified chatter of a raccoon.

"Jake?" I asked, timidly, as I walked into the room. My foot collided with something lying on the floor. I looked down to see a human body, face down upon the ground, blood dripping from its torn out throat. Laying next to Jake's corpse were the similarly mangled bodies of a bobcat and a goose.

There was a pained screeching followed by a snap of bones, and then a moment of utter stillness. I stared in petrified horror at the thing standing upright in the moonlight, its dog-like head turning to look at me with an awful smile etched unnaturally across its inhuman face. The silence was interrupted with the wet thump of the raccoon's body joining the other corpses on the gore smeared linoleum.

I don't want to think about its voice. Its real voice, not the wretched, terrible mockery of a wolfdog that it made to gain Jake's trust. Its laughter was vicious, mocking, evil. In all my life I've never heard anything sound so deeply cruel.

The thing began to walk towards me, and I tried to back away, but I slipped on the blood, falling in a heap as I started to hyperventilate. It got closer, close enough that the light from the corridor let me see the look of hunger and contempt in its monstrously human eyes. It reached a gore soaked claw towards me, chuckling darkly as it prepared to reduce me to nothing but meat.

But as the thing was just about to touch me, inches away from tearing into my jugular, it let out a surprised yelp of pain. It recoiled from me, eyeing the medallion around my neck with frustration and hatred. My mind flashed back to when my grandfather gave it to me, and what I said to him in response;

"A gunfight, papa, really? I'll probably get more use out of it fighting off werewolves."

The monster huffed and growled before leaping over me and tearing down the hallway in a blur of bloodstained fur. I heard the smashing of wood and glass when it crashed through the front door of the wildlife rescue, letting out a mocking imitation of a wolf's howl as it fled into the waning darkness of the rapidly fading night.

When my coworkers found me in the kennel, paralyzed with fear and covered in Jake's blood, they immediately called the police. Based on all the evidence they found at the scene, coupled with my admittedly somewhat hysterical account of the thing that did it, the put the whole affair down to being the work of a rabid wolfdog. They informed animal control, but of course nobody ever found anything.

I never bothered showing up to work at the wildlife rescue again after that, and I've been working a shitty retail job ever since. The pay is awful, the hours are lousy, and the work is demeaning, but that doesn't matter. All that's important is that the schedule is flexible enough that I never have to keep working after sunset whenever there is a full moon. I spend those nights at home with the door locked and bolted, clutching my grandfather's silver dollar medallion and praying I don't hear that mocking voice pretending to whimper outside the door to my apartment.

#horror story #horror fiction #writeblr #writers on tumblr #werewolf

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all-the-heart-you-cannot-see · 10 months

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*This is so long. I'm sorry, but I saw your post in the tag and agree with you so much*

Before, I was on the fence when it came to celebs speaking on things since I usually don't want to hear what they have to say since half the time they come off ignorant af.

But I think definitely in this situation when using social media is the only way to broadcast this issue it's crazy how silent pedro is. Like idc that he dialed back his online presence after the fans got weird. Bro literally labeled himself as this "refugee turned activist" actor FOR YEARS and constantly used his platform to at least say soemthing.

I've seen every excuse as to why he won't post, too. How his talent agency is firing pro-palestine people, how his coworkers are Z's, so he can't speak out against them, or how he liked a few posts 2 years ago. I'm not even saying he has to go above and beyond. But that one post and turning off his comments after a month of silence?

Idk I've been dealing with my disappointment in him in a reflective way. I rarely make myself a fan of specific celebs and if I find out any unsavory things it's easy for me to just ignore them but I made an exception for him, and now I'm regretting it immensely. Like he seemed so genuine. And I, like many others, expected more from him too. I just feel pathetic and embarrassed for falling for the facade. Like why tf am I so upset over a middle-aged rich man...

What sucks more is that he's played some of my favorite characters. I can't even look at them now...

- 🦥 anon

I totally understand, he was one of the few people i liked as a person and not just as an actor.

I was such a fan cause he was latino, an actual latino who spoke spanish and was deeply attached to his home country and his latine herritage. He suffered the consecuences of US imperialism and spoke out about it. He spoke out for so many causes and against so many injustices even before he was that big in Hollywood it geniunly suprised me when i saw he didnt sign the ceasefire letter.

He wasnt in the zionist one either so i thought maybe it didnt mean anything, but that Doctors Without Borders post felt like bucket of cold water cause it means he knows what is happening, he just doesnt want to speak out against it.

For YEARS palestinians have been saying "hey, it actually helps us when you post and show people whats happening to us", this is one of the few instances when making a post is not performative, and he posts...that? Its so dissapointing to see but welp, nothing we can do about it but call him out and move on.

#pedro pascal #palestine

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donnabroadway · 1 year

Text

Hypocrisy

Her assistant peeks her head in. She was a young Asian girl, around 25, Georgetown graduate, her first job on the hill. She was a baby senator from Maryland. The first black female senator from the state and the first black female senator since Vice President Kamala Harris. She was young, fresh, and garnered a lot of attention. Essence, Ebony, features on the Shaderoom, Watch the Yard, reels of her speeches and off camera moments consistently trended on social media, her outfits were constantly recreated and showcased on social media, she wasn't just an elected official, she was a superstar. They said she, a girl from PG County, could be the next Kamala, Michelle, Oprah, or Ketanji. She could be on the Mount Rushmore of black women in politics. She looks up and there is a middle aged white man in a blue suit with a US flag pin on his left lapel. That wasn't good. She gets up and greets him with her fake smile and genuine gestures.

"Come in. Would you like water? Soda? A snack. A seat?," she says, pointing to the tray of various snacks and beverages she kept in her office, as many kids purposely veered away from their guided tours to come see her. She had more than one meeting about her snack budget. She didn't care, find a sponsor, take it out of the campaign fund. Optics were everything and DC is like Hollywood for politicians, it was all a show.

He waves her away.

"I won't be long."

"Okay, what do I owe this visit?"

"Stop telling that story."

What story?

The one about your abortion. The one you had at 16.

I was 17 and why? There is no shame in having an abortion. It was the best thing for me at the time. I was not ready for a baby.

Exactly. There should be shame and you telling people, you a respectable senator, wife, mother, and former school teacher, had an abortion is aspirational and abortion shouldn't be aspirational.

She looks confused.

We want young women to believe they have a choice. We want them to pretend to look at their choices knowing they will have the baby or give it up for adoption. You telling them how you had an abortion as a teenager and how you're here, gives them hope that they too can be here, if they have an abortion and we don't want that.

That doesn't make sense. You want teenaged girls who don't have enough sense to keep their knees together to snot nosed boys or literal children, who did not have a choice in their first sexual experience, and are wearing maternity clothes while playing with dolls to carry a child to term and raise it in the house with their pedophile uncle, father, or grandfather while not having a pot to piss in or throw it out of? Do you hear yourself? Do you know the statistics on teen moms, teen fathers, teen parents? If my story gives them hope, why not?

I'm not asking you not to sympathize or promote teen pregnancy, all I am asking you to do is stop telling the story. I don't want them thinking they can aspire to this.

"There it is."

There what is? This is not about race. We need people who are desperate and remaining childfree gives people choices and choices are bad.

Many women who look like Senator Kegan have had abortions. Half of the women in congress have had abortions and most of the male senators, send their aides to take their mistresses monthly pregnancy tests and to make swift appointments if it is anything but negative, but I am the problem?

You are broadcasting this, they are not. Let your vote do the talking. Vote no on abortion related issues, you're from a blue state, it is to be expected, but stop telling that story.

She nods and shakes her head in disbelief.

You want teen moms to believe the TikTok stories of two teenagers getting pregnant at 16 despite not having jobs, money, or an education, the only thing they have is family support. They put strain on the family because social media told them, be a teen mom and you too can be successful, except they're not. They're struggling and their entire family is struggling because of this baby that didn't need to be here and they're stuck in bad marriages all because they "didn't believe in abortion."

You can have as many abortions as you want and no one is shaming you for having an abortion but stop telling that story. Little girls want to be you and if them having an abortion means they can be you, they will do it with no hesitation. They don't need to be you, they need to be them.

He puts a file on the table.

Stop telling that story or I will tell this story. I am not asking you, I am telling you. Find another story to tell. Tell the one of you struggling in foster care or the first year of college or finding a job in the recession but don't tell that story. You don't have to believe in teen pregnancy or even make a public stance, all you have to do is stop telling that story. No more, no less. Stop telling that story.

He picks up the folder and leaves before she even gets a chance to look at it but she knows what the folder is. It's her "dirt." The dirt they, the DNC, powers that be, corporations, dredge up on her and clean before they present you to the world. The message was loud and clear, stop talking or be a one term senator. Got it.

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sublimecatgalaxy · 3 years

Text

Soft Place To Land- Part 1

Pairing: Fezco (Euphoria) x Reader

Summary: After a few years of abrupt separation, the reader returns to her hometown with a plus one to see her mom. She sees a familiar face all too soon after returning, her secrets coming out, answering all of his unanswered questions.

Song: "Vienna" by Billie Joel

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drugs and sex, trauma and angst.

A/n: I really like this series so far. I'm glad to finally share it with all of you and I know you've all been very excited! Also I might like do little side parts to this fic but have them be like social media posts... if that makes sense. Let me know if you guys want that?

My mother used to tell me that the best thing that ever happened to her, in her whole life, was when she got pregnant with me. She would tell me stories of how, after my father dipped, it was just me and her. I was her everything and from the moment she laid eyes on me in that hospital room, she was in love. She would take me everywhere with her, even when she could’ve left me with my grandma or a babysitter. She even went as far as bringing me with her to her high school graduation. I loved the pictures from that day, seeing her walking across the stage with me in her arms, a huge smile on her lips. She loved being a young mom more than anything and she always told me that she would’ve never changed a thing about how it all happened. Even the part where my dad decided he didn’t want to be a dad and left us without explanation.

My mom had her whole life together. She had me, a nice place to live in, the support of her parents and friends, a full time job as a nurse. She was a great role model for a younger me and I knew from a young age that I wanted to be exactly like her when I grew up.

But maybe I took that a bit too seriously.

I was a good kid. Well behaved, had lots of friends, I did well in school, all of my teachers had nice things to say about me, and I was always the favorite of my friends' parents. Nothing particularly bad happened to me as a child, no lifelong trauma or fucked up things to taint my mind. My mother and I grew closer the older I got and even now I could consider her one of my best friends.

When I fell in love with my first boyfriend, I was a bit ignorant and innocent. I was a bit distrusting of men because of the stories of my father that my mom would share with me. I just never felt good about men and I was very hesitant to be in a relationship with one. I didn’t need a man, my mom had proven that to me.

But I wanted this one.

We started dating in my sophomore year of high school. Everyone knew who were were, our smiles lighting up the hall as we held hands. He was special to me and I think that his rocky childhood helped validate my own illegitimacy of not knowing my father. He didn’t know much about either of his parents, only knowing the care and guidance of his grandmother. I had known him for a few years before we started dating, seeing him at school functions throughout middle school and elementary school. He was always nice to me, cute, shy, and timid. I think that’s what drew me to him in the first place.

He was sweet, a perfect gentleman and even my best friend Rue at the time could see that I was completely head over heels for him. She was the one to help us get together in the first place, telling him that I had feelings for him when I was too nervous to come clean on my own. When he asked me out, I immediately said yes and then everything else between us happened so quickly. But we were together and I was happy. Even till our senior year, I think we both thought that we were going to be high school sweethearts, that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. We had talked about it plenty of times, dreaming about being together and starting a family, having a comfortable life together and living happily ever after.

Life really screwed me out of that one, huh?

I feel it’s important to specify that I don’t regret what came from mine and his relationship. But I do regret how everything went down and the decisions I made following finding out that I was a bit too much like my mother.

This wasn’t supposed to be how this happens.

We were supposed to have a few more years together, just the two of us. We both wanted to travel, to enjoy each other without school or our personal problems getting in the way. I wanted to go to college, get a successful job, buy a house with him and then settle down enough to have kids, maybe a few animals too. It wasn’t supposed to happen this quickly. I hadn’t even graduated yet and neither had he.

My mom cradles my head to her chest as I cry, the positive pregnancy tests scattered on the cold tile beneath us. My eyes keep flickering back to them, expecting the pluses and the lines to change all of a sudden, for this all to be some type of cruel joke. My mom can feel the fear radiating from me, my whole body racking with sobs as my mind goes in every different direction. Would I keep it? Would I not keep it? Would I give it up for adoption? And what would I tell him… What would I tell my friends, my teachers, doctors? That I was having unprotected sex and that I was careless? That I deserve to feel this weight, this anxiety, because I practically asked for it? Would he even believe me and what if he doesn’t? Would he stay or would he run like my dad?

“Baby, we’ll figure it out.” My mother whispers, her lips pressing against the top of my head as I whimper, my head pulling away from her so I can look up at her through my wet lashes. She just gives me a sorry smile, her hands rubbing over my arms. “I know you’re going to hate me for saying this but I’ve literally been through this, lovebug. You’re not alone.” I knew that I wasn’t alone, I knew that she was going to be there for me no matter what I chose to do. She was the best person to support me in this type of situation. She had been through this exact same situation, at the exact same time in her life. I’m sure she wondered the same things that I’m wondering now. But I just prayed that our story wouldn’t resemble hers. I wouldn’t want my baby to have a father who left like mine did.

So, I did what I could to prevent that.

Instead of giving him the option to leave, I left before he could.

My mom helped me pack my things, she called my grandma in Colorado to let her know that we were coming. I didn’t tell him what had happened, I gave him no warning but just told him that I had to leave and that we couldn’t be together anymore. I was a fucking jackass for that and I will regret it until the day I die.

I just knew that I didn’t want to bother him, to bombard him with this because I was well aware that he had enough going on at home. He didn’t need a knocked up girlfriend to ruin his plans for the future. I didn’t really know if he was ready to be a father, with the type of work that he was doing, I doubted it. We had talked about it but maybe that’s all it was. Maybe all we did was talk, wish and hope.

My mom eventually left Colorado and went back to California, leaving me in the trusted hands of my beloved grandmother. My gran wasn’t judgmental what-so-ever though she did make jokes about me being like my mother. ‘Like mother like daughter’ she’d say, referring to the growing baby in my belly. I would just roll my eyes and laugh, turning my attention to whatever I was doing. My gran did a great job at raising my mom, helping my mom raise me, so I figured that she was the best person to go to when I needed help with my own.

When my little one finally came, I was in a better place mentally and financially. I followed in my mothers footsteps in becoming a nurse, the career suiting me well. My little buddy was born at five pounds on the dot, her perfect little face and smile immediately warmed me to the core. She was already my best friend within two minutes as I held her in my arms. But she had his nose, his fairer complexion, soft freckles sprinkling against her whole face. She was a spitting image of him and I figured that was my karma.

She looked like a Lily, the name making my mom and gran grin from across the room as they watched me with her, their eyes teary and hearts swelling. I decided to keep a part of him with her, making her middle name Marie after his grandmother that he adored so much. It was my grandma though who decided on Lilybug as her nickname, a soft smile stretching over my daughter's lips at the name. She was perfect.

And she was all mine.

I hadn’t gone home to California after that, deciding to live with my grandmother as she continued to get older and older. It was just for the best, with her ongoing health issues, I just wanted to help. It was convenient because I was a nurse, I had the ability to help her, and she was my daughter's grandmother so it worked out if I ever needed to run out for a bit.

Lily was a wonderful baby, only occasional fits of screams when she was tired. She was a very sleepy baby, falling asleep on anyone and everyone that would offer to hold her. She had one minor issue that we found early on, a small heart murmur that they were keen on watching throughout her whole childhood, praying and hoping that it would go away on its own. She was a happy baby, always giggling and smiling, playing with toys and watching programs on TV. She loved to go outside and to play with my grans dog; the moral of the story was that she was beyond simple. Expensive but simple.

As she got older, the more she resembled her father. Her skin darkened a bit from the pale complexion that she had when she was born, but her freckles were more defined, her blue/green eyes twinkling and the strawberry blonde hair on top of her head growing more and more. She was adorable, truly. My friends and family would comment on her cuteness on social media, loving the girl and all the sass that she possessed. She had an obnoxious amount of spunk, holding the world in her hands everywhere she went. She captivated every room we would enter, people immediately fawning over her. The older she got, the more attention she received.

She truly became my favorite person. I had birthed my best friend and fuck did I just adore the shit out of that kid.

“I’m so glad that you came home honey. I was really starting to miss you.” My mom smiles, a soft blush on her cheeks as she takes my hand from across the table. Lily hums quietly next to me as she takes a bite of her pasta, the hustle and bustle of the restaurant around us keeping her entertained.

I hadn’t come home in almost three years, my mom typically coming to see me in Colorado instead. I was worried that I would see someone I knew, that it would get around to Lily’s father and then a huge dispute would be had. I just wanted to enjoy my life in privacy but I figured it was time. My mom was just getting older, money was tight, and it just wasn’t practical for her to travel as much as she normally would. My work made some calls and figured out that I could work in California for the three weeks that I was here, working part-time at a local birthing center. It had truly worked out for the best with it being summer and Lily not in school yet.

“I’m happy to be home, momma. Lily was just happy to go on an adventure, right bug?” I look over to her, her eyes wide as she looks between my mom and I, confused. “She’s in her own little world.” I giggle, reaching over to nudge her playfully as she giggles. She returns her curious glances around the room, her blue eyes trained on those that surround her.

“Have you thought about, I don’t know, calling him?” My mom asks suddenly, her voice low as she tilts her head at me. My heart pounds in my chest at the mention of my ex, images of him popping up in my head as my cheeks warm. “I mean, I just figured since you’re home and it’s been so long…” Trailing off, she gives me a slight shrug of her shoulders, my head shaking quickly.

“He doesn’t need that, mom. We’re good, I promise.” I whisper, squeezing her hand as she throws her hands up in surrender, but her gaze is judgmental. She didn’t want me to be like her. She wanted me to have the help of Lily’s father, that is if he would offer it. She always wanted me to give him a chance, to tell him, confide in him. But her image of me was off. I wasn’t seventeen anymore and I wasn’t in love like I used to be.

Dinner wrapped up quickly after that, my mom's arms wrapping around Lily as she squeals. She loved my mom, always so excited to see her and play with her. She was a big part of her life and I was more than thankful for it. She would get plenty of time with her granddaughter this trip, especially with me working now, I was in need of someone to watch her.

After getting Lily firmly seated in her car seat, a small tune leaving her lips as her eyelids droop, I turn the car on with a huff. The sky was growing darker and darker by the minute as I pull away from the restaurant, my mom sending me a small wave as we go. My eyes look along the street as I drive, realizing things aren’t so different from how they were just a few years ago. The same parks, ice cream shops, schools; nothing really changed. It was only me that changed.

“Momma, milk.” Lily mutters behind me, a small curse leaving my lips as I recall our need for milk back at our motel room. She drank it daily, using it for cereal, her chocolate milk, the hot chocolate she would occasionally talk me into. Giving her a small nod in acknowledgement, I pull into the first corner store that I see. It wasn’t familiar to me, my fingers crossing that I wouldn’t see anyone on our pitstop. “Can I go?” Lily asks, a small smile on my lips as I climb out of the car. Opening the door to the backseat, she grins sleepily as her hands reach out to me. I unbuckle her quickly, her body limp and too tired to walk. I take her into my arms with a deep breath, Lily resting gracefully on my hip as she nods off.

Making my way into the store, the bell above me dinging, Lily groans quietly. I rub her back gently as I hum, hoping that she would just fall asleep in my arms, making it easier on me all together. My eyes flicker through the aisles, finding the cooler section as I look for milk. I feel Lily droop a bit, her whole body relaxing into me as she slips under, her arms still tightly wrapped around my neck as I grab a carton of milk. Deciding to grab some other things to eat, my arms are practically piled with different things by the time I reach the front counter. Dumping my things onto the surface, I don’t bother looking up at the worker as I fish through my wallet for cash.

“Fuck.” The voice in front of me startles me a bit, the familiarity of it making my stomach drop. My gaze flickers up from my wallet, blue eyes so similar to my daughters looking down at me. Fuck. “Uh, hey, Y/n.” He mutters, reaching up to rub the back of his neck anxiously as he stares at the sleeping child in my arms. I look between his eyes, my heart pounding, my wallet thumping against the counter as my stomach lurches.

Just the person I didn’t want to see.

Fezco shifts his weight between his feet nervously as he looks at me, his face soft and eyes sad. He looked more built since the last time I saw him, his shoulders, arms and chest more defined than they were before. His beard is trimmed down a bit, less unruly, and his freckles are way more defined and noticeable. He looks unbelievably handsome, the black shirt he wears hugging him perfectly. He seems to share a similar look, his eyes dragging over me as he smiles nervously. Good, he hasn’t made the connection yet.

“Hi, Fez.” I whisper, my voice coming out shaky as Lily shifts in my arms, the sound of my voice wakes her up. She sits up, her tiny fists rubbing her eyes as she turns to look at Fez and then to me. Realization slaps Fez across the face as I bite my lip nervously, knowing that this was all going to come out now. “Fuck.” I whisper, Lily’s eyes widening as she gasps.

“Mommy! Swear word!” She whispers, her hand slapping against my shoulder as I huff, shaking my head as I set her down. She whines as her feet hit the ground, a small look being sent her way that tells her to behave.

“Sorry baby.” I whisper, feeling her arms wrap around my leg, my eyes flickering up to look at Fez once more. His eyes are now locked on Lily, his plush lips parting in shock and awe. Looks of anger, sadness, betrayal, and shock all passing through his face all at once. “This looks really bad, I know-” I start but he cuts me off with an angry scoff, his eyes rolling in disgust.

“You know?!” He fumes in a hushed whisper, his eyebrows pulled together as he glares at me. My stomach drops at the tone, my whole frame deflating as I place a protective hand on top of Lily’s head. A few beats go by as the information settles in his mind, his eyes fluttering shut in disbelief. His eyelashes rest handsomely against his pale cheeks, the man being so familiar yet so different. “Is she…” He trails off, tears filling my eyes as I sniffle, my stomach swirling uncomfortably. I just give him a simple nod, his chest sinking as he leans against the wall. That was it, the secret was out, he knows Lily’s his. He just looks at me, his head shaking gently as he ponders. “This why you left?” He asks, my eyes shamefully moving away from him as my head bobs in a nod. He lets out a violent breath, his hands running over his face as he sighs. I look down at my daughter who just frowns, confused by the tension that fills the room. Fez has yet to scan any of my items yet and my brain contemplates just taking Lily and going to another store.

“Fez, I-” I cut myself off, the words getting lodged in my throat as I shake my head simply, my eyes fluttering shut in agitation. “She’s three. Her name is Lily Marie.” I add, hearing his breathing get caught in his throat as he pauses. Lily just looks up at me, her hands reaching out to me. I lift her back up into my arms, Fez and Lily making eye contact as she sends him a soft, polite smile. His whole body relaxes a bit, not being able to stay mad with her eyes on him. “Can I just go put her in her seat or something and then we can talk?” I ask quietly, begging and hoping that he’d hear me out. He looks back and forth between us as he sighs, his head bobbing in a quiet nod, his hands working to scan our items.

We check out in silence, his hands carrying the bags out to my car as Lily waddles next to me. Putting the groceries in the car first, I then turn to Lily. I hoist her up into the car with a huff, her hands clapping as I buckle her in. I give her one simple kiss and a brief explanation before shutting the door, taking a deep breath of the cool air. By the time I turn back to Fez, he looks ten times more nervous, his eyes locked on the ground.

“I moved a week after I found out that I was pregnant. I went to live with gran in Colorado.” I explain, his head nodding slowly and silently. “I didn’t know how you’d react so I ran. My dad left when my mom got pregnant with me, you know this. I was scared. I had every right to be scared.” I add, his eyes sad as he looks back up at me, his head shaking gently.

“I woulda stayed.” He whispers with a gentle shrug, his hands shoved into his pockets. “You leavin’ fucked me up.” My heart breaks in my chest at his words, guilt consuming me as I hear Lily singing from inside the vehicle. “It was fuckin’ wrong of you to keep this from me, you know that right?” He asks, my head bobbing in an immediate nod. I knew that he had every right to be mad but if I could understand his side, then he could work to understand mine. “Did you just, like, not care?” He quizzes, a frustrated sigh leaving my lips as I roll my eyes.

“Of course I cared, Fezco, I’m not a complete asshole.” I snap, my eyes squinting at him as he takes an abrupt step away from me. It was enough for him to tell me how upset I made him but claiming that I didn’t care crossed the line. “You dealt drugs, Fez.” I add with a short shrug, a small scoff leaving his lips as he shakes his head. “So, blame me for taking myself and my daughter away from that, that’s fine.”

“Our daughter.” He grits, stepping up to me as I peer up at him, my heart pounding against my ribs. He’s still fuming, his chest rising and falling in aggressive breaths. “Our daughter that you left with without even givin’ me a fucking chance.” My lip tucks in between my teeth to conceal the pout that wants to pop through. My eyes water as I sniffle, looking away from him as he continues. “I woulda done anythin’ for you.” He whispers, a tear slipping from my eye as he watches me carefully, his beautiful blue eyes flickering over every inch of my face..

“Fez, I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want to be fucking accountable to do what you wanted me to. I didn’t know if you wanted kids, if you’d want me to get rid of her- I had no i-fucking-dea.” I cry, my shoulders shrugging as he sighs sadly, rubbing a hand over the top of his head. “I regret not telling you, yes. But I’m not sorry for protecting her and myself.” I conclude, his hand reaching out to take my hand gently in his. My mind swims with thoughts, his proximity driving me mad.

“Protecting yourself from me?” He asks, his voice cracking, the question making me dizzy as I press a hand against his chest. He takes a step back as I suck a deep breath in, my head shaking.

“I can’t talk about this now.” I whisper, shutting down quickly. I reach up to wipe my eyes as I look at Lily through the window, her eyes tightly shut. “It’s past her bedtime, we flew in today, we’ve been out with my mom all day. I just want to go to my motel and cry, okay? Please.” I beg, my eyes searching his as his lips tug down into a frown. Before I can turn around, his hand squeezes mine, gaining my attention.

“Unblock my number, please.” He whispers, his eyes sad as I nod, sniffing loudly as I pull away from his grasp. My heart breaks as I get into my car, watching him as he returns to his spot in the store, sending me one last look. Driving away, tears stream down my cheeks as I try my best to stay as quiet, not wanting to alarm my sleeping girl.

I knew that I wouldn’t sleep that night. I was right because I didn’t get one moment of rest. The lights of passing cars reflected off of the ceiling as I listened to the quiet television. Lily was curled up in my arms as she slept soundly, my quiet sniffles heard the whole night. I knew that Fez would be reaching out to me soon, his contact once again in my phone, waiting to be used. I knew that by the way he was looking at Lily, his words, that he would want to be a part of her life, my life.

I was scared, sure. But the butterflies in my stomach returned, the image of his smile, the feeling of his hand holding mine, it made me nervous but fuck did it make my mind spin in all different directions.

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#fezco #euphoria #euphoria series #fezco x reader #fez x reader #fez #fezco fanfic #ashtray #fezco euphoria #fezco imagine #fezco smut #fezco supremacy #fezco icons

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sneezemonster15 · 3 years

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Anon: a valid reason for why it makes no sense that sns is intentional

You: yOu'Re HoMoPhObiC

Typing out long paragraphs to prove a point isn't going to suddenly make it valid. I believe anon is right. The misogyny in Naruto does a lot to highlight the relationship between the males. Different aspects of a piece of media are bound to influence each other. Kishimoto wrote Naruto to be similar to a much intense version of a rival-like relationship in his own life. He also acts as if women are part of some foreign species, leading him to say "idk how to write women" as justification for ruining all the arcs of females. Queer baiting is a thing. These things collectively contribute to make Sns so obvious.

So I'm sorry to break it to you but I can't, in a million years, believe that this cishet, married man sat down and intentionally wrote a 700 chapter gay romance. And yes, some pieces of media are unintentional. You just make this piece of art and not everyone will interpret it the same way. Anyone can show up and say "character A looks beautiful. This is an intentional thing done by the artist" when the artist drew character A to look average to their eyes. Kishi does realize that sns must look so fucking romantic to some ppl and he allows us to see it the way we want.

That being said, i don't see the point in arguing whether kishi intended to write homosexual characters or not. Does saying that it was intentional make you feel better about yourself /the ship?? Does that help you glorify your favourite author of all time?? Are you going to sit here and defend this middle aged man who has literally moved on with his life, for something he wrote eons ago?? Go ahead ig. If you really want to live like that. You should go touch some grass.

Ugh, I go out for one night of drinking and dancing and this is what I come home to.

Look sweetheart. You ARE biased. And HOMOPHOBIC. And quite ignorant, I must say.

Also why are you so salty about my long paragraphs, seeing you didn't actually counter my arguments but only reiterated the earlier ask which isn't a proof of anything? 😂

Bubbla, it's not about writing LONG paragraphs that makes my answer valid. It's my reasoning. Which you obviously conveniently missed and came and ranted in the ask section, like some seven year old stubborn child. Next time, I won't write things that I want to say, (and I usually do have a lot to say because Kishi gives me a lot to think about) but just telepath it to my readers. Is that what you want hon?

And you know where I am coming from?? I work in the industry. I know how it works from experience. I also know because I am in the habit of watching films from all over the world since I was four. I make time to actually read about storytelling. I am a cinephile. A lot of fans, such as yourself, are ignorant about how things are done in the actual world. Like I am sorry but you obviously don't know jackshit.

I socialize with a lot of writers, some of them are national and international award winning film makers and I like to pick their brains, because of my own interests. One of them recently got nominated for an Oscar. I would have shared the link had I not been mindful about my anonymity. That's a privilege only special people get (you know who you are). Am I flexing? Let me know when your friend gets nominated for an Oscar, even though I think Murican film awards are quite overhyped, but it's still a major recognition. What I am trying to tell you is that I am coming from a solid background and I give reasoning for it. And I don't see actual counterpoints from you, just a sad little rehash of what the other anon said, also as ignorant.

Anyway, you know why I don't think Kishi's writing is unintentional? The whole reason why Kishi thought it was important to talk about - are they friends? Or brothers? Or More? points to the FACT that he wanted to say something with it. That their true feelings for each other is at the very least, suspect. If they aren't brothers, since Naruto does finally admit he doesn't think Sasuke is his brother when talking to Hagoromo, and if they aren't just friends, as Naruto finally admits in chapter 698, that he doesn't really know how to explain it, what else could it be?? And how is it that I have seen this trope so many times in other gay media, very much derived from personal stories of gay film makers?

Why would Kishi tell the story this way when he makes Sasuke ask Naruto over and over again, to define the relationship, and Naruto keeps saying, because you are my 'friend'? Why waste so much precious panel space when he could have added more fight scenes that otakus just eat up with both hands? Have you asked yourself these questions? Do you even think about writer's intent? Do you even use your head while consuming media?

I have the advantage of having watched I don't know, around fifty films about gay coming of age stories, and talking to actual gay people to compare if their stories or experiences were similar.

The writer's intention says a lot. I get that most fans don't understand the method of writing a story, but to think it's accidental is plain denial mixed with ignorance.

Kishimoto intended to tell a gay love story. Otherwise he wouldn't have told the story in this manner. No way. He deliberately moulded the story that forces the protagonist, who is closeted gay, to answer why he cares about Sasuke so much, and what his feelings for Sasuke mean. Why would there be this intent to define this relationship, had they not been purposely written as two boys in love with each other? And why are we seeing the same dynamic in Boruto which isn't even about these two? Yeah, sure, Kishimoto has apparently moved on but he is still continuing the same dynamic in Boruto, nice, heh.

Why aren't they close to their wives? Why don't they even talk to them, much less spend time with them? But they always have time for each other? They smile for each other and look alive and happy when otherwise they look so dull? Why is Sasuke's marriage such a sham? Why doesn't he kiss or visit his own wife? Why does Kishimoto show Boruto think of his mother when Sarada talks about bento in Gaiden but when she gives it to Naruto in the next chapter, Naruto thinks of Sasuke looking at the bento and not his OWN wife when she is the one who regularly makes it for him?

Do you really not see writer's intent? What is Kishi trying to say here, in a genre where he can't explicitly say it, but has other means that he uses so blatantly? Before you ask me questions, ask them to yourself. If you then have doubts, then maybe come to me. Or don't. I have a huge backlog anyway.

How easily you sweep significant moments under the rug without asking yourself why the writer wrote it this way if he didn't want to say something with it? Writers use everything in their toolboxes to tell their story. Narrative, dialogues, characters, visual imagery, which in Naruto's case, all points to a deliberate intention. You think it all happens in isolation? No thought required?? Maybe you don't do things that way, but don't expect everyone else to be as simple minded as you. I can agree that one can be susceptible to interpreting a piece of art as not intended by the creator. I remember once, when I was working in an art gallery, and admiring a painting. So this old man, a collector stood alongside me, also looking at the painting, and asked me what I saw in it. And I told him. He had a different idea, and he got offended by my reading of it, much to my amusement. But you see, it was abstract art. I can look at a Jackson Pollock painting and say it's about a murder scene. You could say it's about rains. That's the fun about abstract art. But there's nothing abstract about Naruto. If anything, it's too expositional, like any other shounen manga. Love, know your genres. Don't think you can get away with comparing apples and oranges, it's such an obvious ploy.

Heh, you don't have to break anything to me anon. I know it is possible to tell a story that accidentally looks gay. An example? You couldn't give me one in your rant, even though you apparently believe it, heh. No worries. I will give you an example.

Top Gun.

If you have seen that film, then you know what I am talking about. A lot of people who thought it was about mach speed and testosterone and male ambition were surprised to see how gay it looked and sounded.

You think people aren't aware of it? Wrong.

This is a clip from a dramedy film called 'Sleep with me' and this is one of Quentin Tarantino's acting roles. Now he is being funny here, and even though he makes a lot of sense, it's meant for comedy, that's the whole point of this scene in the film. It is funny. BUT. There is a difference. The difference is TROPES. Writing your script with a line or two that sounds like a character is saying superficial funny gay shit, is different from actually taking those tropes and embedding them in your narrative. The other reason why Top Gun sounds accidentally gay, and is not actually gay, is because otherwise Tom Cruise would never have signed the film, that man is probably gay himself and is notoriously homophobic, and he would sue anyone's ass who as much as breathes about his doubtful sexuality. And secondly, the writer admitted that he didn't write it that way, but he could see how it could be interpreted as gay. But these moments are only for laughs, totally circumstantial and don't add ANYTHING to the actual narrative.

Naruto's story on the other hand is GUIDED by it. Naruto does everything to get close to Sasuke, to understand him, to make him trust him. Kishimoto uses a lot of tropes well explored in global gay media to tell their love story. I have made comparisons with actual films, look for them here and here. I am sorry (not) to say your understanding of narrative is ridiculously poor.

As for your argument that cishet man like Kishimoto can't write gay romance, hahaha, is laughable. Kinda shows how much you really don't know about shit.

Abdellatif Kechiche is a cishet man. And he made 'Blue is the warmest colour' which is about a lesbian coming of age story. So what does that tell you, that he is actually a closeted lesbian??? Hahaha.

Like I said, I don't want to speculate on Kishi's sexuality. Maybe he is closeted, maybe he is bi, maybe he is cishet, we don't know. And I don't care, I am here for the story, not his personal life as it has no relevance in my consumption and understanding of the story itself. Why did he tell a gay love story? Because he wanted to. Just like Kechiche wanted to.

Your arguments are so bizarre.

You obviously don't know what queer baiting is. There's a difference between dangling a carrot knowing it won't work out in the story that way and basing your entire story on the idea. Kishimoto wrote his central narrative around their relationship. Where he wrote such romantic dialogues for them which would make even Shakespeare blush. You think it's unintentional? Wow. Heheh. You are such a pet, I wana pull your cheeks.

So this art drawn by my man Kishimoto where he has specifically drawn Sasuke's head over Naruto's crotch is accidental? Oh yes, he must not have thought about it all, how it would look to audience, or what it would indicate because he is an idiot who has only been writing and drawing since he was three. SO mUcH AcCiDenTaL.....

No no, Kishi is innocent, he isn't being naughty at all. Sasuke just happens to be looking at Naruto with that expression and that bottle in his mouth, Kishi is not being suggestive at all.

Yes, I know queer baiting is a thing. Apparently, you don't know what it means. You know what is queerbaiting? Ops and eds of Naruto is queerbaiting, such as Blue Bird, Diver, Broken Youth etc. Why? Because the producers knew it ain't never gonna happen. Kishimoto didn't write the lyrics or create the visuals of the ops and eds. But the studio still commisioned super romantic, explicitly so, ops and eds exclusively for the two of them. To attract a certain subset of audience and it did get traction because it was already established in the story and appealed to audiences it was targeted at. The studio was aware of how it looked to audience. But it's not the kind of genre where you can write it explicitly in the actual story.

As for Kishimoto being misogynistic, yes he is. But that still has nothing to do with Naruto and Sasuke's purposeful love. Is it possible to create homosexual media without or with minimal female interaction with the male leads? Absolutely. 'Hawaii' by Marco Berger has close to no female representation in it, but it's about two gay men realizing their love for each other. Same goes for 'Tropical Malady' by Apichatpong Weerasethakul. 'Happy together' by Wong Kar Wai. Minimal, completely absent or entirely irrelevant female representation. Does that invalidate their own story? No. Obviously.

The reason why I think you are homophobic is because when you trivialize, and appropriate gay content in the name of heteronomativity, you are being homophobic, whether you think of it as such or not. It's like saying - Oh I don't care if you are gay, just keep it away from me.

A person like, oh I don't know, You, would think - hmm that makes sense. He at least isn't opposing gay relationships.

But more insightful people would say - nah, that's homophobic.

And it is.

Your understanding of homophobia is quite shallow, I must say. Kishi's intent is so clear, that you really don't have to be a cinephile to get it. There are many other fans who got it in their first read or watch, just through an unbiased and unprejudiced stance. You don't even have to be exceptionally smart. You just have to avail yourself to the story, to let it immerse you, without coloured and unobjective lenses. Which is honestly the only right way to watch or read anything. Homophobia is such an ingrained mentality, quite like misogyny, that it shows in what you say and how you react to certain things, and it doesn't have to be overt. Almost all the - they are just friends, or they are brothers, or it is just accidental arguments clearly stem from heteronomativity and homophobia because it is such an ingrained response, that one isn't even aware sometimes that they are doing it. People often lack insight into themselves and the majority of Naruto fandom is emotionally young or belong to an age group that is inexperienced in both life and consuming media. Sometimes I suspect most of them haven't seen anything outside of Shounen or shoujo or anime.

And I will tell you something else. People who are in my film circles, I made a couple of them watch Naruto. I didn't say anything about it being gay or whatever, I said nothing. They also understand visual language and narrative like I do. And like I had suspected, they also came out knowing it was a gay love story. Coincidence?? I don't think so. You just gotta be honest with yourself, it's just so much more relieving. Why carry the burden of lying to ourselves? It's not worth it. If you still don't understand what I mean, maybe you will, when you grow up. Not just in terms of age, but experience and understanding.

Is this enough grass touching for you?? 😏

So the next time you feel like flaunting your ignorance in my face so confidently, just Don't. I know my shit. And I can prove it, like I do on my blog, with panel by panel analysis, and comparisons with other media. I would have written a more scathing answer to your boldly misplaced ask, but you are lucky I have a hangover today.

Your anonymity might have saved you from public humiliation but at least one person would know that you were dissed. YOURSELF. If you bother to read this, most ignorant people don't when presented with actual arguments and evidence, and I have a feeling you will prove me right.

But anyway, kindly keep away from my ask box if you can't be nice, because I am not nice to people who aren't nice themselves. I am also not humble and I don't care, it's bad enough I live in a world where people pride themselves for their willful ignorance, but to have to deal with them when all they bring to the table is stupidity and a misplaced confidence unsubstantiated with actual evidence or information, and then harass me for it on my platform, I don't have the patience for that kinda shit.

If you want, you can subscribe to my blog and educate yourself, looks like you really need it. Just refrain from being impolite.

#anon #ask #naruto #sns #uzumaki naruto #sasuke #uchiha sasuke #sasunaru #narusasu #anti ss #anti sakura #anti nh #anti hinata #naruto analysis #kishimoto #naruto meta

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katsukikitten · 3 years

Text

Part one. Master list for plus one can be found here.

Just a nice fic I decided to write for fun. Please enjoy!

Asshole!

He was nothing but a huge, giant fucking ASSHOLE for the entire two years the two of you were dating and he decides NOW is a good time to break up with you?

Two days before your cousin's wedding and over TEXT MESSAGE?!

That fucking asshole.

He knew how you felt. Exactly how you felt about going alone to your cousin's wedding after your family begged to meet your boyfriend and teased you for "probably making him up." Which hell, he may as well have been made up considering how absent he was in the relationship. Using work as an excuse to come home late but forgetting to turn off his snap location when he showed up at the bar.

So you did what any rational woman in her upper twenties would do.

You drowned your sorrows in booze, tonight red wine as it was the only thing around, and you scrolled through your socials in hopes of distracting yourself from your suffering.

Alas the devil that is Instagram only amplified your sadness and irritation. Showing couple after couple, your friends on hikes kissing on the mountain top, kissing in the flickering light of candles at a fancy dinner or, worst yet, getting proposed to. The video showing her in hysterics screaming, "YES I DO I DO!"

And it feels terrible to feel this way. Especially about your friends, the people you love and want to support, still it stings. You hadn't told anyone about the breakup, you weren't even sure your friends even remembered that asshole's name.

A teardrop lands on your screen, magnifying all the magical lights of the led beneath the glad. You wipe away the tear and with that the feed refreshes. A new post has come in at the top, Res Riot's official account.

Kirishima stands with a fat white cat in his arms. He dwarfs the animal with his large stature that looks larger as he still has his Red Riot gear on. The caption reads something along the lines of "missed my precious baby."

Red wine is a dangerous thing as your body acts on its own. You go to his page to hit the little arrow to DM him. Typing out and backspacing your message as you struggle from the booze, you decide to say fuck it and use the voice memo feature. Before you know it your sniffling voice is playing back to you after you've hit send.

"My ex broke up with me before this stupid wedding. It's in two days and my family is going to roast me big time when I show up alone. They think I made that asshole up. I don't know why I'm even in your dms. Your account is probably run by some dick head who can't even capture your kindness. I guess I'm here cause my first thought seeing you on my timeline was Red Riot has always been my hero…"

Ugh totally fucking cringe.

There is no surprise as you see the three normally ominous dots pop up, probably his social media manager about to ask you to stop your "advances" as Kirishima is too busy to date and he'd hate to block you or some other bullshit.

But there it is a surprise to see a little bubble with the play button and some vertical lines in various heights. It takes your sluggish brain a moment to realize you've been sent a voice memo. Odd. Your thumb smashes the screen faster than you can think and a deep voice rumbles through the speakers of your phone.

"Actually I run my official and personal socials. And I'm sorry to hear about your ex doll. He sounds like a real ass. I'll be your hero, I'll go with you to the wedding."

Your heart stutters, no way, no way in HELL this was Red Riot. You had read about the horror stories before or pervy account managers taking advantage of women who so desperately wanted to talk to their hero.

Hell, it's happened to Dynamight plenty of times.

You swallow quickly but the bile rushes up your throat. Not just from the anxiety of a possible con but from drinking an entire bottle of wine with nothing on your stomach after months of sobriety. Quickly you stumble to the bathroom, abandoning your phone on your bed. You barely make it in time to praise the porcelain Gods before you fall onto your back. Looking up at the light in your cramped bathroom, the orb doubles and spins as you feel the Earth turning on its axis. You curl into your side using your bathmat as a pillow as you drift off into sleep, totally forgetting about the voice memo on your phone.

As you sleep peacefully on your memory foam bath rug, Kirishima settles into his nightly routine. One giant hand grabbing strands of long dark red hair into a towel while another sits snugly around his Adonis belt and the thick, black happy trail that follows up the center of his abs before spreading out onto his chest. He tosses the towel over the open door of the bathroom before sitting in his favorite armchair with phone in hand. Diamond, his beautiful white cat he rescued a few years ago, jumps onto the arm of the chair, purring loudly when Kirishima's free hand scratches her ears absentmindedly.

He chuckles to himself as he realizes exactly what he's done. Acting on a feeling instead of logic all because he heard a "damsel in distress." Starting off his rare vacation with spontaneity starting with an impromptu date with a stranger. He really isn't sure what you look like and it's obvious your handle doesn't have your real name in it, just PrincessPeach with some random numbers at the end. He takes the time to scroll through your profile. Seeing pictures of food, of many sunsets, a friend's dog that guest appears often, your own cat and plenty of strays.

It takes him a while before he sees a photo of you. His heart stutters in his chest as he looks you over. Laughing with a friend, soft lighting from strings over head that blur like little fireflies. Your smile is wide, half hidden by your hands as your eyes seem to smile with you. Sparkling as if they held stars.

For a moment Kirishima forgets how to breathe, it isn't until Diamond jumps down from the armchair does he inhale. He smiles softly to himself before he drops his towel, puts his phone on charge and promptly falls asleep in his bed.

Kirishima rises before the sun even has a chance to filter through his blinds. He sighs softly, getting up to a sitting position disturbing a fluffy white ball that lays beside him.

"Mmrow." Moon stone eyes blink slowly as they look at the mountainous man hogging the bed.

"I didn't mean to wake you sweet baby." He says softly, going to pet the soft white fur only for her to get up stretch and give him her butt before plopping back down.

"I know, mean ol' daddy woke you up too early again." He says softly, his hand falling onto her back before he rises from the bed. Fishing for his running shorts, socks, headphones and shoes. He makes his protein shake, leaning on the counter as he drinks it, looking at how you read, or better yet, listened to his message but still no reply. It was late and there was a small slurring of your words, he figures you've passed out. He just hopes you're okay.

His run goes as usual, up before anyone else unless they were the normal avid runner. Passing by the usual array of people. An old man holding onto his youth by jogging through his daily five mile morning run, Kirishima knows he runs another five in the evening while the sun is setting. He hopes he can embody some of this man's commitment when he is older. Then he passes a middle aged woman, who gives him the biggest smile as she pases, jogging backward to send him a wink before plowing ahead. Occasionally he'll see a running group or a few teens training to be heroes, they always ask if they can run his route. "It's long." He always warns in a kind, warm voice. They assure him they will be fine so far only one other person could handle his 12 mile morning run. A young woman in her second year of hero courses at UA. Since then Kirishima put in a word with his boss and so every time internships roll around she's in the office.

By the time Kirishima is rounding back towards his high rise apartment, the city begins to stir. Slowly waking as men and women in business suits rush towards the train, parents flinging open the doors or curtains fussing at their children who cling to an extra few minutes of sleep before school.

This was always his favorite part of the run, not because it was almost over, oh no it was because he had a chance to glimpse at everyday life. Of nine to fives, of school hours and after school hangs outs at snack bars or the library.

What most would call the mundane but Kirishima would never call it that. It's why he worked so hard to protect it.

Diamond greets his sweaty form at the door. Glaring angrily with her moon stone eyes. Tail swishing before she goes to the kitchen by her bowl. Waiting impatiently.

"I'm not late, sweet cheeks." He coos, and she glares, "I know I know. You're hungry now."

He opens the fridge, gets out the highest quality food there is and places it on her dish, sure to keep it all in the middle or she'll claim her bowl was empty. He added a splash of water too since the weather was starting to get hot.

He sucks down a water or two, demolishes a protein bar and then heads to the apartment gym.

A few hours roll by and without hearing from you yet his worry over your well being begins to cloud the forefront of his mind. He pauses his music, picks up his phone and talks out a voice memo.

A loud DING echoes from your room and around your skull as you rise with a throbbing headache.

"Fuck." You hiss to yourself grabbing at your head as you shakily rise to your feet. Yanking the handle of the faucet to drink from the stream before looking at yourself in the mirror.

"Ugh." You grunt ignoring your swollen face and eyes, yanking the mirror door open to snatch at the bottle of aspirin. Swallowing THREE extra strength pills before slamming the door shut and turning off the faucet. You make your way towards your bedroom, more than ready to sleep the rest of your day away. Grabbing at your phone to charge it you see the push notification of an Instagram message from Red Riot.

The fucking Red Riot.

Internally you scream before it bubbles up your throat and escapes. You fumble to unlock your phone before looking that it's a voice memo.

Mortified you realize you sent one too. And first at that.

"Fuck MEEE!" You plop onto the bed. Nervous this second voice memo is probably about how you're a weirdo or something as you relive the memory of asking him to be your plus one.

Hesitantly your thumb hovers over the play button before you find the strength to press the cool glass. A soft thunderous voice plays out.

"Good morning sleepy head. I haven't heard from you yet, I hope you're okay. Be sure to drink some water and eat something greasy. Trust me, late nights with Denki and Bakugou taught me something. Since the wedding is tomorrow I'll need a picture of your dress for the color and style so I can match you Sweet pea. Contact me soon so I can know where to pick you up."

Did he… did he just call you SWEET PEA? Your heart pounds in your chest before it registers he's asked for your dress color and lowkey asked for your address. This couldn't be real. It sounded like Kirishima, his voice familiar from interviews you've watched but it very well could be a prank. Defeated you hit the small microphone and reply.

Kirishima hears a sharp DING in his headphones over his music as he finishes his set. He wipes the sweat from his face on his shirt giving the few people in the gym a lovely view of his sweaty and thick torso. One woman trips on the treadmill but it goes unnoticed by Kirishima. He pauses his music and hits play on the little memo. Your beautiful yet groggy voice comes in through his ear buds causing Kirishima to bite his lip. It causes such a flutter of butterflies in his stomach he has to listen a second time to actually hear what you said. Although he understand, he cannot help but feel hurt by your reply.

"How do I know you're not just some pervy guy using Kirishima's Godly looks to prey on unsuspecting people."

Your phone chirps at you from the bed stand and you growl reaching for it. You had hoped your message would have been clear. An unspoken of you know they're a fucking creep taking advantage of their PR job.

"What can I do to prove it to you, Sweet Pea?"

You hate how that cute nickname sends your heart into a somersault and your stomach in delightful knots. Still your doubt pulls a harsh tut from your lips before you reply.

Kirishima doesn't need his phone to alert him that you've messaged him, he's been looking at his screen for far to long without having to restart his set. He listens to your voice as if it were music.

"Fine, you wanna prove it to me so bad. Take a picture of yourself shirtless with the word 'Sweet pea' you love so much and send it to me. No photoshop I know what my favorite hero looks like!"

For over an hour you don't hear back and you figure you showed that perv.

But now you can't sleep so you nurse a water, door dash a "greasy" breakfast all before cranking your shower as high as it can go. Your phone dings and you try to ignore it. You really do but as the saying goes curiosity killed the cat. Opening the message you see a classic guy mirror selfie. Kirishima is clear as day in the photo, his large hand pointing to his bare, hairy chest where sweat pea is scrawled in his adorable handwriting. He winks at the camera as his kissable lips wear a dangerous, almost cocky eyes travel down his bulk following his happy trail that dives under a pair of black shorts, the best part of the view getting cut off by the vanity. At first you try to rationalize that this was fake but damning evidence was sitting on the vanity. A fluffy white cat in a diamond and ruby encrusted collar sits on the counter giving her owner an odd look.

His cat Diamond that everyone knows he loves and adores. Slick begins to collect between your thighs and especially so after you listen to the voice memo that comes through shortly after. His normally friendly and soft voice comes out a bit dark, husky as he says in a playfully annoyed tone.

"Now send me a picture of that dress, Sweet Pea."

#kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #bnha x reader

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kingkatsuki · 3 years

Note

I wrote this last night and forgot to send it because I got distracted. So uh, sending it now. (incoming wall of text, I am so fucking sorry >.<)

You got an ask yesterday that mentioned Serendipity and I was like, oh man, been ages since I last read that, I need to re-read it. And I found that I: a) had read it on my old account, so I hadn't even liked it on this one. b) had read it when even the idea of any kind of interaction gave me anxiety so I hadn't even taken the time to tell you how much I fucking loved it.

So fixing that! This is gonna be disjointed, it's almost 4am (as usual). I think I may have mentioned this before (so sorry if I am repeating myself), but I love how you do the whole social media relationship setting (I have a soft spot for this trope as I met my husband online so anytime someone manages to convey some of the aspects of it in a way that resonates with my experience it makes me melt aaaaaa ♥). In this story in particular, I love how what motivates this gremlin of a man to contact us is not that he wants to get his dick wet, but that he wants us to know we are wrong. “She’s entitled to her opinion, but it’s fuckin’ wrong.” has 100% disgruntled Bakugou energy, and it's pure poetry.

You are great at getting me to immerse myself in the character. The way you describe what she is doing, how she goes about her work, her mornings, things like that. It makes it really easy to feel the scenes, not just read them. To me that is one of the cornerstones of great writing, and I am always delighted when I get to experience it. I also really loved how you captured the budding crush feeling. The "I have only talked to this person once, but I'm already thinking about them again, and it's not like I want to marry them, but it'd be nice if they messaged me!" that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside when they do message you. And then the inevitable snowballing emotions as the whole thing progresses, because that is how it goes, and it is so much fun to be in the middle of that.

Besides absolutely loving the dynamics between Bakugou and us, I love the dynamics you have between everyone else. I love the distinct ways in which you write each person, I particularly enjoy the fuck out of all the No Heroes interactions (their tweets crack me up). I love the way you have us thirsting for him, both online and in person, because honestly, who wouldn't? Love how Bakugou starts feeling the pull and even showing interest before seeing the picture, because it feels so in character for him to start falling for someone that managed to get under his skin like that. And how he is done for once he finally sees the picture? kfdjskfsj ♥. And I love it how he goes from pest to insufferable cocky flirt the second he realizes.

And then he has to go and be a Dick. The whole conflict was so sad, because while it was over something so silly, you handled it in such a... idk, relatable way? The whole giving up in order to prevent getting hurt more thing and all that, I feel it's something that at one point or another we all have had an experience with. Also, "You’d be okay, you always were. But it didn’t make it hurt any less." is entirely too true and extremely heartbreaking, both in fiction and real life.

But it's ok, because it led to dry humping and I absolutely love dry humping. And nghhhhhh the way he fucking talks. I just love how you have him be this absolute punk, even when he's being sweet, and it just. It is, indeed, the bad boy image. Just love it.

And as usual, Jo, the actual smut was superb.

Again, this is my fav work of yours, and there's a special place in my heart for it, so I had to word vomit at you about it. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. ♥

I’m literally in tears reading this I’m honestly so happy that you enjoyed it and that you’ve read it more than once🥺

I’m just obsessed with Bakugou falling in love with us before he’s even seen us and I’m so glad it comes across in the fics! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me such a lovely message I’m gonna keep this and cherish it forever😭💕

#jo talks

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evafrechette · 3 years

Text

It’s a Match

↠ yoongi x jimin | smut | hookup au | 18+ | 3.4K

↠ Summary: Loneliness can make you do questionable things. Like signing up to a dating app to suck the cock of a stranger.

↠ Warnings: deep throating, public blowjobs, cum sharing, kind of a social media au - but not, drunk Yoongi, flirting, masturbation, gagging.

Yoongi never thought he'd be desperate enough to download the app on his phone, but here he was at 11:37 on a Friday night, finger hovering over the install button.

"Ahhh fuck it.."

He clicked and watched as the app downloaded and installed on his phone. He never thought it would get to this point. He'd been single for years. Preferring his own company, he never found it necessary to date. People annoyed him, too loud, too intrusive, too manipulative. So he remained alone. But 4 years is a long time to be on your own and he was starting to grow tired of his own hand. Plus he'd watched evey fucking video there was on his favourite porn site a year ago. That should have been the sign he needed to get laid, but his dumb ass wallowed in misery for another 12 months and that's why he's here now, creating a profile in the hopes of getting fucked this weekend.

A frown formed on Yoongi's face, he had been scrolling through profiles for the last 30 minutes and hadn't matched with anyone. He knew it was because he was being incredibly picky, swiping left on nearly every single profile he'd come across. He wasn't gonna get his dick sucked carrying on like this. He swiped left on a profile of a man in his 40s - already starting to bald, arms wrapped around a girl half his age - when his eyes landed upon the profile of a young man.

Yoongi was intrigued. The man had the prettiest face Yoongi had ever seen, beautiful plush lips pulled into a seductive smile, with his blond bangs hanging over his eyes. Yoongi clicked to view the profile in full, Jimin - the beautiful man's name was Jimin. He used emojis in his profile, which made Yoongi let out a frustrated groan. He hated emojis, too childish. He continued to read the profile and decided that the two of them were too different and even though the man was beautiful he would swipe left, like he had been all night. Maybe it was an accident or maybe Yoongi's subconscious wanted those plush lips around his cock, because instead of swiping left he swiped right.

He put the phone down and got up to make a drink. He shouldn't have a coffee this late, but apparently he was living recklessly tonight. With the steaming hot drink in his hand he climbed back onto his bed. He took a sip of the dark hot liquid when he heard the ding of a notification. He cautiously leaned over and grabbed the phone, swiping away his lock screen. He could see that he had been notified of a match, so he quickly opened the app, curious as to which one of the very small pool of men he'd swiped right on that would like him back. Yoongi could feel his cheeks starting to heat up. He didn't expect to match with the blond with the lips to die for. Not only that, but the man had messaged him too.

Yoongi couldn't tell him the truth, he WAS going to swipe left, what the fuck happened with that anyway.

Yoongi choked on his coffee, Jimin looked like an angel, but an angel wouldn't talk that way. How the hell does he respond to that? Does he even want to respond to that? He placed his coffee on the side table and dragged his hand through his hair. If he didn't take this opportunity his blue balls would actually kill him. Well fuck, his response just made him sound like the world's most pathetic asshole.

Yoongi checked the time, it was quite early in the morning now. The coffee had helped wake him up, but the prospect of meeting with the cute man had him feeling even more awake than what was humanly possible. The two of them talked for the next few hours. Sharing stories of their worst dates, childhood pets, who was more powerful Superman or Ironman and their favourite songs. Yoongi finally said goodnight and put his phone on the charger. They had agreed to met at Jimin's favourite bar the 'Hit List' at 8pm that night. Seventeen hours for Yoongi to work himself up into a worried hot ass mess. Fucking great. And yet as he stared up at the ceiling a small smile broke out on his face.

Yoongi spent his Saturday doing everything he possibly could to distract himself from his date that evening. Was it a date? Do you call meeting some random off the internet to possibly fuck a date? He was too old for this shit. He rearranged his vinyl collection, read a decent chunk of his new book and practiced a few new songs on his guitar. Once the sky had turned a beautiful shade of orange and pink Yoongi knew he had to stop stalling and get his ass ready. He took an extra long shower, debating on whether to do some manscaping (since all the young kids do it these days) before deciding not to. He liked his bush, and if pretty boy wasn't a fan well tough shit for him.

He teamed his black and white shirt with a pair of black jeans ripped at the knee, a leather jacket and finished it off with a few pieces of jewellery. With one last look in the mirror Yoongi slid his phone and wallet into the pocket of his jeans and left his apartment. Just as he stepped into the lift his phone pinged. It was a message from Jimin.

*******************

Jimin is sitting at the bar when Yoongi arrives. He's deep in conversation with the bartender, so Yoongi stands by the entrance awkwardly looking around. It's a nice place, very quiet and intimate. It's dark, a few low hanging lights scattered around and tealight candles sitting in a whisky glass on each table. To his right is a large floor to ceiling window, surrounded by a mix match of old leather chairs. There is a faint smell of smoke in the air. Oddly this smell starts to calm Yoongi down, it reminds him of his grandfather. Okay, now he's nervous again. Thinking of his grandfather at a time like this?

"I'm a fucking mess." he mutters to himself as he walks over to the bar.

"Uhh sorry to interrupt, Jimin right?"

The blond turns his head and smiles, he is really more beautiful in real life Yoongi thinks to himself. He's wearing a black shirt with one too many buttons undone, his hair parted in the middle falling gracefully to each side framing his angelic looking face.

"Mmm that's right and you are?"

Um what?! Fuck, Yoongi knew he made a mistake by coming here. Ahh fuck, why did he have to make that stupid profile? He loved Amateur Bareback 3-Way #2, he could have easily watched it 100 more times.

"Relax cutie, I'm just playing, you should have seen your face," a giggle escaped from Jimin's lips. "Nice to meet you Yoongi." he stood up and extended his hand out to shake. Yoongi quickly wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and returned the handshake. Jimin's hand was engulfed in Yoongi's. He looked down and couldn't help but smile at the scene. Jimin's hands were so petite compared to his. It was a rather lovely sight.

"Order yourself a drink and we'll go sit over there." he pointed to the leather chairs Yoongi has been eyeing up earlier. He ordered an Irish Mule for himself and a Negroni for Jimin. He carried the drinks to the table, while Jimin followed closely behind. A little too close Yoongi thought. He could smell his perfume starting to mix with the smoke smell. It was a delicious combination.

The first half an hour was straight up torture for Yoongi. Even though the two of them had spent the night messaging each other it was different once he was sitting face to face with the most stunning man in all of Seoul. Yoongi avoided eye contact, mumbled and laughed dryly at Jimin's jokes. He was well and truly fucking this entire thing up.

Jimin huffed "You don't have to stick around you know, you can leave whenever you want."

Yep. He had fucked this up.

"Uhh it's not that," Yoongi starts to bite at his thumb nail "Jimin, I'm terrible at this. People stress me the fuck out, I haven't been laid in four years, I don't like leaving my apartment, you are lovely, fantastic even and that's making me even more nervous."

Jimin played with the hoop in his ear while looking directly at Yoongi, he tilted his head to the side "How can I help you relax? I thought we clicked last night?"

They did

"I'm sorry I make you nervous, I can't help it that I'm so cute." Yoongi finally looked into Jimin's eyes and they burst into laughter.

"It's not your fault. Fuck it, I need another drink . . or five that will help." he rolled his eyes before waking back to the bar.

With a few more drinks in him Yoongi was relaxed, he could feel the whiskey warming up his body. The heat in his stomach though, he was sure that was because of the attractive man sitting in front of him. The discomfort had finally vanished and instead a mellowness had fallen over the two.

"I've always liked older men." Jimin purred, his delicate small fingers, adorned with multiple silver rings, brushing against the now half empty glass.

"Aiisshh I'm only two years older than you!" Yoongi huffed, folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, but you act like you're nearly 60.” Jimin let out a hearty laugh, his eyes turning into crescents, cheeks plump and slightly pink. He slapped the table causing their glasses to shake. Yoongi quickly grabbed his to prevent it from spilling.

"It's not that funny." he didn't want to admit it, but the blond's laugh was hypnotic, he could watch Jimin laugh for hours and never tire of it.

Jimin straightened up, fingers now tracing the rim of the glass "I bet you don't fuck like an old man though."

Yoongi gulped and looked directly into Jimin's brown eyes, gone was the playful light, it was now replaced with desperate firey lust. He knew what the outcome of this date could be, and yet he was still nervous. He could feel his heart starting to race, his breath becoming faster. "Aaahh shit" Yoongi thought to himself as his left hand started to twitch, the blond's smell - a mix of orange blossom and patchouli was becoming overwhelming, he needed to calm down, he'd cum within seconds if he didn't get his shit under control.

"Heh, well I guess you'll find out later huh?"

Jimin reached over and ran his soft fingers over Yoongi's hand, playing with the bracelets that sat around his wrist.

"Why don't I find out now?"

Yoongi's friends love roasting him for his personality change when drunk. All of a sudden the quiet reserved man becomes giggly and loud. Cracking terrible jokes and singing at the top of his lungs. Sober Yoongi would never dare dream of taking a stranger to the bathroom to jerk off. Drunk Yoongi though? Try to stop him.

"Mmm Jiminshi are you sure?”

Jimin giggled at this "You are SO cute" he continued to draw his fingers over Yoongis hands "Of course I'm sure, do you wanna go back to mine? Or we could go to yours if you're more comfortable with that..."

Without thinking Yoongi stood, grabbed the blonds arm and pulled him up. They walked towards the exit, but before descending the stairs they took a left and made their way into the restroom. Once inside Yoongi pushed Jimin against the door and started kissing at his neck. "Fuck! Jimin, there is no way in hell I can wait to get back to my place, I need to feel you now." Yoongi whispered between kisses.

Yoongi leaned down and kissed his exposed chest, thank fuck Jimin had left those top buttons open. They had been torturing Yoongi all night long, but now he was thankful for it. Jimin's skin was so soft and it faintly smelled like cherry blossom lotion but he wanted more. He was desperate for more. Jimin ran his hands through Yoongi's hair and grabbed hard. Small moans escaped his lips, which drew Yoongi even crazier. He undid the buttons on his shirt and stood back. Jimin had the body of a god. Perfectly sculptured, with beautiful brown nipples begging to be sucked on. Who was Yoongi to deny god his wish?

Jimin let out a squeak when Yoongi ran his tongue over his nipples, hungrily licking and sucking at them. His right hand found it's way to the bulge in Jimin's pants and he pressed his palm down onto it. Jimin was now starting to get louder which made Yoongi smirk, he lightly nipped on Jimin's nipple before standing up and leaning in to sloppily kiss Jimin on those perfect, perfect lips, the taste of spice and bitterness still lingering.

"Uuuhhh Hyung, please touch me."

"That's what I'm doing Jimin."

"No you asshole, I want to feel you properly, get my fucking dick out." Yoongi stopped and looked at Jimin, slightly taken back by the tone of his voice. But he just smiled back - a wicked smile.

Yoongi got onto his knees and began undoing the zip of Jimin's pants. He pulled them down to his ankles, he then drew his hands up Jimin's legs, enjoying how smooth they were. He palmed Jimin's cock through his underwear eliciting a moan from the man above him. Yoongi pressed his face into Jimin's clothed cock. He took a deep breath, Jimin smelled wicked, his arousal mixed with body lotion was rousing. He alternated between sucking and licking on the cock trapped behind Calvin Klein underwear. He repeated this action a few more times before finally removing the now very damp briefs.

Jimin wasn't the biggest cock Yoongi had ever seen, but he was thick and absolutely smooth. He stroked his long fingers over his chiseled abs, along Jimin's length and then down to his balls which he cupped in his hand, massaging back and forth. He let go and brought his hand to his mouth, running his tongue over his entire palm. It was so fucking dirty and Jimin shuddered at the sight. He reached back up and gripped Jimin's cock in his now saliva covered hand. He drew his hand up and down at a frantic pace. He was too worked up to go any slower, but Jimin didn't seem to mind by the noises he was making. Oh shit, he was being too loud now. They'd get caught and thrown out or even worse the cops called.

"Shit Jimin, you need to be quiet or someone will hear us.”

“Mmm Yoongi I don't think I can cutie, why do you think I said we should get out of here."

Yoongi huffed and slowed his hand down. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jimin's briefs, so he picked them up, stood and shoved them in Jimin's mouth.

"That should shut you up.... Is that okay? I can take them out if you don't like it.”

Jimin shook his head and moaned around the underwear. His mouth was stretched open and drool already starting to pool at the corners. What a fucking beautiful thing to witness. Pleased with himself Yoongi got back on his knees and kissed the tip of Jimin's cock. His tongue played with the slit, circling it before he slowly kissed down each side of his shaft. He then licked the base to tip, never taking his eyes off Jimin's. They both looked so fucked already, pupils blown out, flushed cheeks and lips swollen from the rough kissing earlier.

He started pumping slowly, wanting to tease Jimin a little, the blond was impatient though and bucked his hips into Yoongi's fist, letting him know he wanted and desperately needed it faster. Yoongi let out a small chuckle and started to move his hand at a pace the gorgeous man would enjoy. Muffled moans of pleasure let Yoongi know he had found the magic speed. He continued like this for a few minutes before letting go and taking Jimin's cock in his mouth. Oh he tasted good - of course he did he was perfect in every way why would this be any different? Yoongi hollowed his cheeks as he bobbed up and down on Jimin's length, taking it deep before pulling up and letting go with a 'pop'.

He took hold of Jimin's cock and rubbed his lips all over the head, spreading precum all over his lips and chin. He felt like such a slut, but he was loving every moment of it. Yoongi closed his eyes and slowly buried Jimin's entire cock in his mouth until it hit the back of his throat. He moaned around the feeling, this was what he had needed. To feel stuffed by a pretty cock attached to a pretty man. Jimin was squirming above him, his panting and moans muffled by the briefs in his mouth, but there was no doubt he was in ecstasy just like the cock starved brunette. Yoongi felt petite hands fist into his hair and start pulling and pushing trying to take some control of the situation, Yoongi slowed down and allowed Jimin to start fucking into his mouth.

With each of Jimin's thrusts his grunts became louder as he was getting closer to his orgasm. Jimin wasn't the only one getting close, after having practically become a born again virgin, Yoongi's head was dizzy with arousal and he wasn't sure how much longer he would last, his grip on Jimin's thighs tightening, bound to leave light marks the next morning. He closed his eyes and could feel the heat from his stomach rise throughout his body, his muscles tensing as he felt his release. The wet patch in Yoongi's pants made him feel absolutely filthy. He came just from sucking someone's cock? Before he had too much time to start mulling over how much of a slut he is, Jimin spills his load inside Yoongi's hot mouth. He thrusts hard a few times causing the cum to spill out of Yoongi's mouth and dribble down his chin, landing on the floor.

Jimin hisses as he slowly removes himself from Yoongi's mouth, he leans down and Yoongi yanks the underwear out of his mouth before smashing his lips against the blonds. He doesn't care that his mouth is still full of Jimin's cum, he tastes so good he wants him to experience the intoxicating taste too. When their lips part Jimin stands to put his softening cock away. Yoongi stands with him and looks around the room, avoiding eye contact.

"Umm thanks for that, that was .. uhh really good."

Jimin's bewitching smile returns "Yeah, that was amazing cutie can't say I've ever had my underwear shoved into my mouth though, but there is a first time for everything. Come here and I'll treat you good too."

"Well um, no it's okay. Honestly. I may have cum already." he sheepishly replies, still avoiding any damn eye contact.

A small "oh" left his pouty lips "well I'm glad I could have been of assistance."

The two stood awkwardly for a while before Jimin held Yoongi's hand and walked him over to the sink. He made the older man sit on the bench while he cleaned up all the mess he had made. Yoongi's heart couldn't stop beating. There was no need for Jimin to be so nice after what they had just done, but here he was doing something Yoongi actually felt was more intimate than painting the walls of his throat with his cum.

"Ah there ya go, now you can go back into the real world without anyone suspecting a thing.”

They walked outside together in silence, Yoongi had never had a hook up before. Do you crack jokes? Profess your love? Or just act like what happened never did? His mind was a million miles away when soft fingers were suddenly stroking his cheek.

"Please message me anytime you want to see each other again, and I'll be the one doing all the dirty work okay?"

This made Yoongi blush "Yeah okay. Thank you Jimin, truly I had a great night."

And it was the truth, he had so much fun he could relive the moment in his head for the next four years. Amateur Bareback 3-Way #2 wouldn't be needed when the memory of small hands, captivating moans and cum drizzling down his chin was enough to get him hard again. It had been less than 20 minutes. God dammit!

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