#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[fuckaperioddrama]

Slytherin Boys Birth Chart Predictions

Mattheo Riddle | Blaise Zabini | Draco Malfoy | Lorenzo Berkshire | Tom Riddle | Theodore Nott

Warnings: Mentions of Rough Sex | Toxic Traits | Negative Parental Relationships | Some Sad Vibes. Emotional Struggles. | Let me know if I missed something.

Proofread, but there's always the possibility of mistakes.

Masterlist

Note: I already posted my predictions for Mattheo and Lorenzo's Birth Chart, but I'm still including them in this post. However, I did explain some things in their chart a little better/added some things. Very minor adjustments. 

This will not include their signs in Pluto, Uranus, Saturn, Neptune, or Jupiter. I am willing to explain those signs as well if asked. Those placements deal more with life philosophies/spirituality and those aren't things I feel compelled to talk about in this post. I do have to explain Theo's Saturn sign at the end and since Saturn is determined by the year you were born you could fit that placement in with all of them. Depends on where you view them age-wise and generationally.

Some of them have the same placements so when I explain the traits of that placement I'm saying similar things in the other chart. In saying that, my explanation of why I think these placements fit them are all different despite having the same placements. This is because the way they portray their placements can vary based on the rest of their chart. I didn't want to summarize the traits for the next chart in case someone just wanted to look at one specific person and not all of them. 

Rising Sign: Your Rising sign is how you project yourself onto others both physically and in your initial greeting.

Sun Sign: Your Sun sign is your core personality, the side you show most of the time.

Moon Sign: Your moon sign deals with your deepest and most raw emotions.

Mercury Sign: Your Mercury sign involves the way you communicate and think.

Venus Sign: Your Venus sign is how you love both platonically and romantically.

Mars Sign: Your Mars sign deals with sex and aggression.

Chart Ruler: You find your Chart Ruler by looking at your Rising sign. Find the planet that rules your Rising Sign. Let's say your Rising is in Cancer. Cancer is ruled by the Moon. Therefore, your Chart Ruler is whatever placement falls into your Moon sign. If you're a Virgo Moon, then your Chart Ruler is your Virgo Moon.

What's a Chart Ruler? The captain of the ship. The other placements help out and have a say now and then, but your Chart Ruler is the leader and the main decision-maker. This is important to know because someone with otherwise very kind placements might fail to show that if their Chart Ruler is the opposite.

~ 

Mattheo Riddle

Rising: Aries

Ruling Planet: Mars

Aries Risings are known to have sharper and more prominent noses as well as a sharp chin and jawline. These are physical traits I associate with Mattheo Riddle.  Mattheo Riddle has passion and determination. These traits are associated with Mars. They have this innate desire to be free and go through life at their own will. They don't want to conform to the social norm and are often people who go through tasks head-on without seeking others for assistance.  I believe Mattheo does give off this overall 'tough guy' act. Upon first meeting, you can tell he's very free and independent. 

Sun: Scorpio

Ruling Planet: Mars

Scorpios are fiercely loyal which is a trait I’d associate with Mattheo. He would never betray his loved ones and he would never abandon them either. Scorpios are honest, determined, brave, and intuitive. Mattheo doesn’t shy from giving his opinion, he doesn’t back down from a challenge, and he gets what he wants. He pays attention to things around him and keeps a mental note of everything he notices. This is very Scorpio-like behavior. Scorpios are also jealous, possessive, controlling, emotional as fuck, manipulative, calculated, petty, resentful, and they make you jump through hoops for them to open up to you. But the second you mess up? Even once? You’re done. Cut off. Good luck ever getting them to open up again. I feel I don’t have to explain why these traits fit Mattheo. 

Moon: Capricorn

Ruling Planet: Saturn

Capricorn Moons are naturally responsible, disciplined, and are very hard workers; but they get in their heads and struggle to show those traits. Capricorn Moons are happiest when they’re succeeding in life so if for some reason they believe they’re failing then they can become very troubled emotionally. I think this fits Mattheo so well. He's so smart and has so much potential, but he doesn't do anything with it. He knows he has no true direction or good purpose in his life (yet) and that knowledge can bring down his mental health. Capricorn Moons remain composed when truly threatened. While Mattheo’s anger is explosive, he becomes very stone-cold when something serious happens. A person with a Capricorn Moon also tends to have a poor relationship with their father. They might have felt a lot of pressure in their relationship and high expectations. 

Mercury: Gemini

Ruling Planet: Mercury

These people are curious, social, and quick-witted. I think Mattheo is a very social person when he's in a good mood. He's super charismatic and articulate. Mattheo also has this natural curiosity. He's always doing something and doesn't shy away from an adventure.  Someone with this placement can also have issues handling their anger and frequently in arguments will say incredibly hurtful things. They don't mean to or want to say these things, it's just in the heat of the moment. Mattheo's anger can be very explosive and unintentional; meaning he finds it hard to consider feelings other than his own.

Venus: Cancer

Ruling Planet: Moon

I know this is a very 'soft' placement. I think Mattheo is a very sweet person, he just carries a lot of unresolved trauma that covers all that up. Someone with a Venus in Cancer is very obvious about their loyalty. You just know they wouldn't abandon you. They're very nurturing and sensitive. Mattheo is fiercely loyal and even though he may not know how to show it, he does care a lot and he wants to help and take care of the people he loves.  These placements can also be very clingy and I think Mattheo is a needy person even if he won't admit it. He would stick to his partner like glue and it would be a little overwhelming. A Cancer Venus can also be fiercely protective and extremely jealous. 

Mars: Aries

Ruling Planet: Mars

These people are short-tempered, reckless, impatient, and so competitive. They can be such assholes and they tend to make a lot of mistakes because of how brash they can be. I just think this is very Mattheo. He does not think anything through when he's angry. He attacks first and asks questions later.  These people are often very driven, confident, and can be very assertive. This can translate over to their sex life as well. Usually very dominant in the bedroom. Very high stamina. Hard and fast. Passionate. They love some good angry sex.

Chart Ruler: Mars

Mattheo's Chart Ruler is his Mars in Aries. I think this is important to know for Mattheo because he does try to get better, but that angry impulsiveness that comes from his Mars in Aries really shines through.

Blaise Zabini

Rising Sign: Taurus

Ruling Planet: Venus

Taurus risings are known to have a sturdy appearance, nice skin, and attractive facial features. Blaise fits these features in my mind. He's very attractive and presents as very put together. They're very practical and loyal people. I think Blaise has a laid-back nature, but he doesn't appear careless. He gives off this energy that's very straightforward and unwavering. Taurus Risings also appears very graceful and gentle. Blaise seems like someone whom you can approach. He gives off a very trustworthy aura.

Sun Sign: Sagittarius 

Ruling Planet: Jupiter

Sagittarius Suns are very passionate people. They're very philosophical and they think and feel things deeply. Blaise is someone who is very outside of himself. He is not the center of the world, the world is his center. He thinks about everything and everyone. Sagittarius Suns are also very adventurous. While I see Blaise as someone who may not outwardly go to parties or big social events, he seems like the kind of guy who would want to see the world. This placement is also known to have an excellent sense of humor and I think Blaise is a naturally funny guy.  Negatives? Brutally honest. They're not going to lie to you to make you feel better. They're impatient and very stuck in their ways. Their idea is the best. Also MAJOR commitment issues. IT'S SO CRAZY. A Sagittarius settling down????? And who fits these traits? Blaise. 

Moon Sign: Virgo

Ruling Planet: Mercury 

Virgo Moons are caring people. It's in their nature and they just want to be there for you. Very intuitive and somehow always know what people need. They mainly like to take care of people by doing things for them. Acts of Service. They have a very gentle nature and are very responsible. Not someone to lash out a whole bunch.  Virgo Moons are also very judgmental and they're very bad at opening up when they're upset. They expect perfection, but instead of communicating what their idea of perfection is they just get angry that people can't figure it out on their own.  This is very personal in how I specifically see Blaise. I think that he has such an idealistic view of not only himself but also his mother, that anyone who isn't like him or like his mommy just isn't as good as them. In saying that, Virgo Moons are also known to have had very good relationships with their mother. Their mom helped shape them into strong and determined people in terms of personal goals.

Mercury Sign: Pisces 

Ruling Planet: Neptune

Those who have their Mercury in Pisces are very intuitive. They can have a deep understanding of the world and the people in it. However, they are very secretive when it comes to this. They're not outwardly trying to get to know you, they're just observing from afar. Blaise notices everything, but no one notices that he does. He doesn't seem like he's paying attention, but he is. These placements also daydream a lot. They might struggle to be practical or serious at times and tend to try to escape the reality around them. I think when Blaise is put under pressure he spaces out and goes into his world or tries to make a joke of the situation. Sometimes it can be really hard for him to stay focused and serious.

Venus Sign: Taurus

Ruling Planet: Venus 

A Taurus Venus is very upfront with their feelings. They're honest in how they feel and they expect the same from their partner. This Venus sign also has Taurus which rules Venus meaning love comes easy to them. They can catch feelings very quickly. They're committed to their partner and they love to spoil them and themselves at the same time. Fancy restaurants, spa days, luxury vacations, etc. They want to enjoy the finer things in life and they want to enjoy it with others. They're more likely to get lavish gifts for their friends as well. Blaise's taste is more refined, he doesn't want to take his partner or friends to the club. He prefers more relaxed and 'high-class' activities. These signs can also be stubborn with their love. Since they know they know fall in love easily they tend to take a while to let people in just so that they know they're with someone they fully trust. A Taurus Venus can also have a hard time letting go. If they don't want the relationship to end they'll manipulate the other person into staying with them even if they try to leave. If the relationship becomes toxic they'll embrace it if it means not losing the person they love. Blaise would be careful who he lets in, but he struggles to let go if a relationship isn't good for him. He'll just keep going, even if it hurts him.

Mars Sign: Scorpio

Ruling Planet: Mars

Passionate and persistent. Having your Mars in Scorpio makes you a naturally dedicated person. These people have no problem working towards their personal goals. These placements also have a very hard time handling their anger. They let it fester inside of them until it comes out in petty arguments. Either that or they'll just completely ghost you. Sometimes Blaise struggles to communicate his feelings and would often rather avoid a situation than face it head first. A Scorpio Mars would rather sit in their anger than try to solve it. Sexually? Very passionate. They put their all into whatever they're doing and are extremely indulgent. They want to feel, touch, and enjoy the moment. This sign can go in different directions based on how they perform. Meaning this sign can be rough, soft, dom, sub, etc. You can figure that out through other elements in their chart. The sexual desire thing that comes from a Scorpio Mars is just wanting to enjoy it.

Chart Ruler: Venus 

Blaise's Chart Ruler is his Venus in Taurus. This means he's driven by loyalty and love. He likes to take care of those to him, but since he has so much love to give he's very careful about who he lets into his life. He leads with his heart and is at more of a risk of heartbreak. It makes sense for him to be lead by love and compassion despite his trauma or tougher placements.

Draco Malfoy

Rising Sign: Leo

Ruling Planet: Sun

These placements have long and narrow noses followed by very expressive eyes. This part isn't true for every placement, but they typically have blonde hair. Very Draco Malfoy. These placements can be strong-minded and often make their intentions clear. There isn't a lot of guessing that comes from trying to figure out what these placements want, they'll usually tell you or show you outwardly. When they're at their best mentally they can be very generous and confident. They like to take care of people. However, if they're going through a tough time it's a complete switch. They don't care about anyone's feelings but their own. They don't care about remaining a good friend, partner, etc. They will let anyone and everyone down if it's in service of themselves. If they're in a bad mood then everyone is in a bad mood. Draco can be very sweet, but only if he's in the mood to be sweet.

Sun Sign: Gemini

Ruling Planet: Mercury

These people are very charming and witty at their core. They can charm a whole room of people and get them to do exactly what they want. They're highly intelligent and very communicative when it comes to their wants or desires. This goes in with his Rising and Draco overall being very indulgent when it comes to himself and allowing those to see into him. If he's jealous and/or wants to obtain something specific he is going to let everyone know. Very boastful. He wants to be seen succeeding. However, if need be they will hide their true intentions to get what they want. They will use you, manipulate you, and charm you to the highest extent if it'll help them achieve their goals both personally and socially. Draco likes to gloat, but he knows when it's time not to. He knows how to twist things. around to get others to do his bidding and make himself seem like someone whom you should be standing beside.

Moon Sign: Cancer

Ruling Planet: Moon

These placements are protective of the one they love. Very motherly people and will go to far lengths to make sure those they care about are safe. A Cancer Moon can also be super sensitive to things around them. They pick up on shifts in energy very quickly and seem to always know what is wrong. In my mind, Draco is someone who naturally takes care of those in his inner circle. Maybe not in the nicest way, but he still does it. These placements can also have a very hard time taking things too personally. If you hurt their feelings then whatever warmth they once had has been completely erased. It's very easy to offend them. They often will ignore logic and reasoning because they're too focused on their own feelings.  Amazing relationships with their mothers. The relationship is filled with a lot of love and devotion, especially on their mom's part. Most likely coddled by their mother.

Mercury Sign: Leo

Ruling Planet: Sun

These signs are very passionate in the way they talk and think. Their voices aren't often monotone and they usually are expressive. They are very confident people because they hold their own opinion in the highest regard. Rejection might upset them, but it won't make them think less of themselves. The only time it will is if it's someone they look up to. Draco’s confidence is reflected on how he feels about himself and I think whenever he talks he commands a lot of attention. A Leo Mercury can be a huge drama queen. The most minuscule thing could happen to them and they are wailing and having a full-blown temper tantrum. They have a very commanding voice, which can be a bit of an annoyance when they're acting out. Draco Malfoy can be such a BABY!

Venus Sign: Taurus 

Ruling Planet: Venus

A Taurus Venus is very open about what they expect from their partner. They can be very impatient and don't like to go after people who make them chase them. This placement falls in love very quickly, but won’t always show that. They like to keep their distance to protect themselves. Draco is very cautious when it comes to love. These placements like to spoil the people on their life as well as themselves. Draco likes to live in luxury and his inner circle would also see the benefits of that. Finest restaurants, best clothes, luxury items. Only the best for those they care about.

These placements are very stubborn in the way they love. They grab onto their partner and they don’t let go. Huge attachment issues and will not end the relationship. I think Draco wouldn’t leave someone he cared for, even if they were toxic towards him. He has this unwavering loyalty that can occasionally cause him pain.

Mars Sign: Libra

Ruling Planet: Venus

Having your Mars in Libra can be very hard. Venus is the opposite of Mars and Libras feel this natural need to conform whereas Mars as a whole is all about freedom. This makes someone with a Libra Mars very easy to manipulate. They're not going to fight back, they're going to conform. This placement can also be very secretive and reckless. They're more likely to be unfaithful to their partner or lie to them in some way. They won't feel bad about it because they're extremely arrogant. Draco is very confident and he doesn't let just anyone boss him around. Although, if there is someone who is important to Draco or carries a lot of influence in his life he's not going to stand up to them. He will conform and he'll do whatever task they ask of him, regardless of whether it'll make him a bad person or go against what he wants.  However, these placements can also be very romantic and charming. They can easily capture someone's heart if they try to. Very passionate lovers. They like to please their partner and will often let the needs of their partner take charge of whatever they're doing. (i.e. adaptable. rough when they need to be. soft when they need to be. sub/dom when they need to be. Yes, I think Draco is a switch.)

Chart Ruler: Sun

Draco's Chart Ruler is his Sun in Gemini. I think although he has a lot of rather emotional placements, his Gemini Sun can really shine through in helping him stay composed until he's able to break down in his own time. This applies mainly to his deeper emotions. 

Lorenzo Berkshire

Rising: Virgo 

Ruling Planet: Mercury

They usually have straight noses, prominent cheekbones, and an overall angelic-looking face. Lorenzo Berkshire. Virgo Risings possesses a sharp mind and can pick up on things quickly. I think Enzo is very smart and when he doesn't know something it doesn't take him long to figure it out. They're very aware of their surroundings and the people around them. Enzo can be a little aloof, but I feel like that's only when he's around trusted people. He's not like that right away. Virgo Risings can also be very caring when they want to be and I think Enzo is an asshole, but he still cares for the people he loves at the same time. Virgo Risings are the definition of the 'nice asshole.'

Sun: Aquarius 

Ruling Planet: Uranus

An Aquarius Sun is very clever, honest in their opinion, and very confident. They like to push boundaries. I think Enzo has this constant thirst to be different. He wants to emphasize his individuality. He's not some random person in the halls, he's Lorenzo Berkshire. He's confident in his abilities and he's not afraid to say it or show it. He doesn't believe in blending in. This placement also has a major God complex. They become irritated when someone goes against them and sometimes they'll just completely blow them off and disregard their feelings. I think Enzo is the type of guy to do this. These placements can also come across as very detached. They like to be entertained in their conversations. If you're boring them then they don't want to talk to you. Enzo doesn't try to spare people's feelings if he's not interested in them.

Moon: Gemini 

Ruling Planet: Mercury

A Gemini Moon thrives in social settings and they can be very chatty. They have this natural humor that captures a crowd. I think Enzo does have this charming side of him that shows through a lot. Gemini Moons exceed in making themselves the most sought-after person in the room. They talk to you in a way that makes you feel desired and lucky that they're even talking to you. Gemini Moons are also very fake. I know that's an annoying Gemini stigma, but it's true. They say what they need to say to get what they want or please who they want. Enzo is a very manipulative person. A lot of his charm comes out when he wants to use it to his advantage. They can be very indecisive, inconsistent, stubborn, and moody. Sometimes Enzo can be a little all over the place. He says something one day and then another thing completely different the next. It all depends on how feels that day. He's super stubborn and overall he's a pretty emotional guy which is very like an Aquarius Moon.  This placement has a complicated relationship with their mother. They might have felt they were very busy and sporadic, never really focused on being a mother and more on other tasks.

Mercury: Leo

Ruling Planet: Sun

A Leo Mercury knows how to work a crowd. They’re very expressive and passionate people. They’re bold and yet refined. I think Enzo can be very passionate and yet sophisticated in his speech. He just has a voice that commands your attention and he’s able to make you believe anything he says. He always sounds like he knows best. He sounds believable.  People with these placements can also be very arrogant and self-centered. They tend to completely disregard other's feelings and can be huge drama queens. Enzo can get into his head and not think of anyone else around him a lot of the time. He gets overly emotional and creates this whole victim complex that he's not afraid to share with others if it's to his benefit. 

Venus: Aries

Ruling Planet: Mars

An Aries Venus is all about the chase. They like the feeling of pursuing someone, but they can get easily bored once actually in a relationship. They need someone who consistently excites them. They’re furthermore very blunt when it comes to expressing their desire. Huge flirts.  This placement is a hopeless romantic and they fall in love very quickly, but don’t get too excited because they’re in love with five other people too, and the next day? They’ve already moved on. It’s like you never existed. They won’t even look at you. Enzo is definitely like this. I feel like he obsesses over a new person every five minutes. It’s the same with friendships. They need someone who excites them. They usually befriend interesting or dynamic people. They'll go through friendships so easily if the person begins to bore them. Once they do start to genuinely let someone into their life completely? You’re not leaving. These signs lock you down and they WILL go after anyone and everyone who tries to take you away. Lots of jealousy. Remarkably loyal and will do anything and everything for you. 

Mars: Sagittarius 

Ruling Planet: Jupiter

Mars in Sagittarius is super passionate and yet indifferent at the same time. They have this list of stuff that they really care about and if it’s not on that list then it doesn’t matter to them. I think Enzo can be very aggressive if someone pisses him off and some things will immediately set him off. Sometimes he can be selective on who he allows to make him angry. He doesn’t take disrespect, but he doesn't let himself give that person strong reactions. He saves that for the serious stuff, a lot of his anger comes off as very cold and detached. I mentioned this in my headcanons, but I think Enzo recognizes that there’s power in being able to upset someone. So with this Mars placement, he’s able to step outside of himself and remains composed so that he’s able to maintain his power. Once again though, if it’s something he truly cares about then it’s explosive. He gets so angry and is very quick-tempered when it comes to the stuff on his list.  Sexually? They’re very direct. They tell you what they want and what they want to do. They like exciting sex and aren’t very vanilla at all. Can be MAJOR freaks. 

Chart Ruler: Mercury

Enzo's Chart Ruler is his Mercury in Leo. This makes sense for Enzo because he's naturally very charming, alluring, and expressive. He has placements that can be major red flags, but he's able to hide that just through the way he communicates with people. He can talk his way out of anything. 

Tom Riddle

Rising Sign: Gemini

Ruling Planet: Mercury

Gemini Risings' are often characterized as being very tall and slender. They're graceful in the way they move and express themselves. This is how I imagine Tom to be.   They are very articulate and have a special talent for language. They can pick up on any language very quickly. (Parseltongue) A Gemini Rising is naturally very charming and cunning. They can make a lie sound believable to anyone. You do not want to get on this person's bad side because they will find a way to ruin your life without you even realizing it until it's too late. No one would ever believe you over them. Tom is SO manipulative. This fits him. A Gemini Rising will tend to go through many physical changes during their lifetime and alter their image on numerous occasions. Constantly evolving. 👀

Sun Sign: Capricorn

Ruling Planet: Saturn

These placements are extremely hard workers. They're very ambitious and disciplined; however, they can have a hard time being this way if it's something they don't want to do. They don't want to work hard at something they don't care about. I think Tom works hard, but there’s absolutely no way he’s putting ANY effort into something he doesn’t care about. Not unless doing so will benefit him in some way. These signs are perfectionist and because of that, they can be very negative people. If something isn't exactly how they want it to be then it's really hard to make them happy. Almost impossible. A Capricorn Sun is also extremely loyal, but it takes a while to that point. They don't open up easily, but once they do? Till death do you part.

Moon Sign: Scorpio

Ruling Planet: Mars

A Scorpio Moon has a scary amount of intuition. They know everything and the most terrifying part is that you don't even know how they know everything. Tom is terrifying because he knows everything. He can se into peoples minds and figure out their true intentions. Scorpio Moons are one of the hardest workers. They are determined and do whatever they need to do to get the job done. Whatever they need to do. Very Tom Riddle.

These placements are very passionate. Some would say too passionate. They love deep and hate deeper. Everything they feel is heightened. Very addictive personality and are prone to obsess over everything.

Scorpio Moons have a complicated relationship with their mother. They might reject the notion that they have any sort of feelings towards their mother, but that's not always true. Growing up they might have felt as if their mother was never there for them and that can fester into resentment or anger. Tom pretends not to care about his mom and he pretends to hate her, but really he’s just angry that she didn’t stick around for him.

Mercury Sign: Taurus

Ruling Planet: Venus

Taurus Mercuries are very direct and forward in their way of doing things and how they achieve them. They can be very reliable people when given a task, never failing to accomplish anything they set their mind to. If Tom says he's going to do something then he's going to do it. There aren't any questions about his ability to perform any task he puts his mind to. Tom is someone who is very blunt and direct. This is a very stubborn placement. They do not like to listen to the opinions of others and can react VERY harshly when challenged. A Taurus Venus will often obsess over their social standing. They aren't comfortable being in subordinate positions. They want fame, power, and control. Tom isn't just anyone else and he will stop at nothing to achieve the recognition he believes he deserves.

Venus Sign: Virgo

Ruling Planet: Mercury

Someone with a Virgo Venus can be a very devoted partner. They're very detail-oriented in their relationship and like to make sure everything is perfect. When they do something for their partner they will take preventative measures to make sure everything goes according to plan.  These placements are also extremely picky. They have this vision in their head of who their perfect partner is supposed to be and they will not settle for anything less. These placements are comfortable being alone. and would never spend time with someone if they didn't want to. Tom has high standards; not just with his partners, but also with his companionships. He will not settle for less than he deserves and he has no problem expressing that.

Mars Sign: Scorpio

Ruling Planet: Mars

Passionate and persistent. Having your Mars in Scorpio makes you a naturally dedicated person. These people have no problem working towards their personal goals. Scorpios are arguably one of the most hard-working signs in the Zodiac and this shines through with Tom. Most of his passion goes into achieving his goals.  These placements have a very hard time handling their anger. They let it fester inside of them until it comes out suddenly and they have no problem cutting people off. They won't say anything. They'll just leave. Tom would not stay with someone who consistently challenged or upset him. Sexually very passionate. They put their all into whatever they're doing and are extremely indulgent. They want to feel, touch, and enjoy the moment. There are certain elements of sex that Tom needs to enjoy to be satisfied. He likes pushing his sexual partner to their limits and he likes having control. He needs to experience that. Indulge in it.

Chart Ruler: Mercury

Tom's chart Ruler is his Mercury in Taurus. I think this makes a lot of sense as his main focus and drive are shown through the way he talks and thinks. Also going back to people with that placement wanting to be at the top. Tom is driven by his desire to rule the world. That comes before all else. 

Theodore Nott

Rising Sign: Capricorn

Ruling Planet: Saturn

Capricorn Risings usually have a strong bone structure. This shows mainly in their jawline and cheekbones. Their eyes are intense and piercing, making them have a more serious and intimidating look. I would say this matches up pretty well with Theo. This placement thrives in workplace or academic settings and this is something I think fits Theo. He's very smart and he does best in settings where he's able to show that off. Very quick-witted and have a rebuttal for any argument thrown at them. A Capricorn Rising can be a little difficult to approach because of how strong their energy is.  They appear very stoic in their initial meetings. They are not someone who shows their emotions, oftentimes remaining very cold towards others. They don't smile or laugh often. It's usually very random and you'll have to pay very close attention to them to catch any sort of shift in their mood. 

Sun Sign: Taurus

Ruling Planet: Venus

Someone with their Sun in Taurus can often be seen as very serious. They're very serious and determined and do not joke around when it comes to things they want. Sometimes they can seem very detached, but that's because of their talent for separating their emotions. They're able to compartmentalize to get things done and often don't show their frustrations until they want to. If they want to. Taurus's are also very goofy. It comes across as a bit of a shock because of how serious they are and they somehow manage to look composed even when doing something crazy. They have this very unexpected humor. Theo does have a very serious and detached nature, but he's very funny and does possess the ability to let loose and be crazy. He just doesn't feel the need to show that side to everyone. A Taurus ALWAYS has to be right. It doesn't matter if they know they're wrong because they'll never admit to it. They're very jealous and possessive. They can be very lazy and extremely aggressive. It's not always explosive aggression, but it is always very scary. Very Theo-like behavior.

Moon Sign: Scorpio

Ruling Planet: Mars

A Scorpio Moon is very intuitive. They notice things about people that no one else can pick up on. Theo likes to sit back and watch. He watches how people react to things and how things unfold. Due to this, he is very good at being able to read people. People with this placement are determined and will stop at nothing to achieve their goals. Theodore Nott does not back down. Once he decides he wants something he goes for it. These placements also experience every feeling with great passion. This has its positive and negative traits. It's easy for them to obsess over their feelings. They go from 0-100. They either care way too much or not at all. They struggle to find that healthy balance. Theo is very passionate about what he loves and hates. Once he cares, he jumps fully in. Scorpio Moons have a complicated relationship with their mother. They might reject the notion that they have any sort of feelings towards their mother, but that's not always true. Growing up they might have felt as if their mother was never there for them and that can fester into resentment or anger. I think Theo resents his mother for dying and leaving him. He knows it's irrational, but he can't help it.

Mercury Sign: Aries

Ruling Planet: Mars

Someone with this placement is a very good problem solver. They're extremely innovative and can always figure out a solution. I see Theo as someone who has this natural leadership. He's a good decision-maker and can think of new ways to do things. Very good at thinking outside the box.  These placements can also be very argumentative and blunt. They won't shy from speaking up or defending themselves against someone. They have a really hard time holding their tongue when challenged. Theo might be quiet, but he is not someone to be messed with. The second someone steps out of line he will, without hesitation, put them in their place and he will do it in the harshest way possible.

Venus Sign: Leo

Ruling Planet: Sun

A Leo Venus is very expressive in their love and often doesn't feel the need to hide their partnerships. Both platonically and romantically, they take a lot of pride in who they surround themselves with. They have good intentions and are very meticulous with what they give to show their love. They put a lot of thought into their actions. When they're in love they are fully dedicated. They prefer to take the lead in the relationship and enjoy spoiling their partners both materially and with their affection. Theo likes to take care of his partners and show them off. Gifts, making out in public, he doesn't care. His only concern is giving his partner some love. Those with Venus in Leo can also be very vain and can sometimes only consider their personal feelings. They are extremely jealous and possessive and will act out when they feel as if someone is trying to take their partner or if they feel as though their partner isn't paying enough attention to them. They'll blow things way out of proportion and create a lot of drama. Theo.

Mars Sign: Aquarius

Ruling Planet: Uranus

Aquarius Mars is a detached placement that doesn't typically get too fired up. However, they do not like to feel challenged. They have very powerful minds and strongly value their freedom. They're very original thinkers, often not seeing things the way others do. They rebel against what's expected of them and enjoy staying a mystery. They don't want people to guess their next move. Theo does not like being tied down. He wants his freedom and he wants to remain someone that people want but are never able to get.  These placements feel invincible. They will do whatever they want and say whatever they want because they think there will be no consequences. Once you challenge that they will either completely lash out or full-on ignore you. It's very hard for them to see past their ego to maintain peace. An Aquarius Mars needs mental stimulation during sex. It isn't just about touching, they need to hear every moan, whimper, and plea to get turned on too. They like to pleasure their partner because they like to know they're doing a good job. Big on dirty talk and being praised.

Little Explanation

Saturn: Your Saturn sign reflects your sense of responsibility as well as your limitations and fears.

Saturn is Generational. Let's go back to the books. Harry Potter was born in 1980. Theodore Nott was in the same year as Harry Potter and is projected to have been born between 1979 - 1980. 

From July 26th, 1978 - September 21st, 1980, Saturn Was in Virgo. This means the people born in that time have their Saturn Placement in Virgo. 

Someone with their Saturn in Virgo is very crafty. They can take nothing and still find a way to achieve exactly what they need. However, this placement needs a lot of encouragement. They are their own worst critics and think nothing they do is ever good enough. 

Chart Ruler: Saturn

Theo's Chart Ruler is his Saturn in Virgo and this makes a lot of sense because although he does have a lot of confident placements, he struggles to see past his insecurities. He can't always see how good he is.

~

[unbidden-yidden]

My (non-Jewish) anthropology professor made a really incorrect statement about the idea of Jews as “God’s chosen people”. When I (also non-Jewish but try to keep informed) corrected him, he brought up something else that sounded wrong to me: supposedly only Reform Judaism allows for conversion? I didn’t know enough to contest it at the time, but that really does not sound true to my ear, from the way I’ve heard Jewish people talk about it. Is there any truth to that?

Yeah, the Chosen People thing is often wildly and antisemitically misinterpreted to mean "We think we're G-d's Specialest Selected Elite People and the only people G-d actually loves and cares about" -- which like. Could not be further from the truth. What it actually means is: We were selected to do the project of the mitzvot of the Torah, which is a lot of extra homework that other people don't need to do but someone needs to do it. It's a lot more like "chosen to do the dishes" of the spiritual world than "chosen to be special." Now. Is there definitely some pride of place in doing the extra work? Sure! But at the same time, Jewish eschatology has always made room for non-Jews. We absolutely think non-Jews who live good lives and are decent, moral people have a solid place in the world to come. We aren't angling for a everyone to become Jewish because, kind of by definition, not everyone needs to do the ritual mitzvot. Live ethical lives and be decent to each other and us? Sure. Lay tefillin and daven three times a day and (during the Temple times) offer sacrifices and wave lulav fronds during Sukkot and eat matzah on Pesach and keep kosher and keep Shabbat? Etc.? Nope, that's our task and ours alone.

Now! If you feel personally called to living a life of Torah and believe that you have a Jewish soul and should be made part of Am Yisrael, the Jewish people, you can go through the lengthy process of conversion and (essentially) become a member of the Tribe? Yeah, you can do that. You better be real sure and go into it eyes open. You're going to need to be persistent and dedicated to studying and being present in the community. It's not encouraged, and traditionally rabbis would turn someone asking to convert away three times before accepting them as a student to make sure they were serious. In modern times, most rabbis are a bit more welcoming, but will still push you to seriously consider why you want to be Jewish. If the answer is still yes for you, then you can do it, if you must. Most gerim (converts) describe an experience very similar to how transgender folks describe our gender journeys - we can't be any other way, and wouldn't want to be. I'm both a convert and trans, and my sense of understanding myself as both non-binary and as a Jew are deeply held and equally compelling.

All branches of rabbinic Judaism accept converts. Some have a more strenuous process than others, and some take on very few converts. The more traditional the movement, the more likely it is that the person will be encouraged to explore other options. The reason for this is that the more traditional the movement, the more serious they take the binding nature of the commandments, and therefore adding another Jew (especially one who has so much to learn in a comparatively short time rather than being raised in it) is a risk that the person will revert back to their old ways or find something else later. Since we are judged collectively (Torah is a group project) and the future world to come hinges on us scrupulously observing the mitzvot (according to the more traditional movements) it is imperative that any late additions to the People be very serious and rigorous in their observance.

The liberal movements are a lot less intense about that, although it's also a spectrum. The Reform movement does not hold the ritual mitzvot to be binding, only the ethical mitzvot. They therefore lack the same incentive to avoid failed conversions. The Conservative/Masorti movement and some of the other traditional egalitarian communities do hold the mitzvot as binding, but are a lot more flexible about their expectations that everyone follow them. It's a lot more of a "do your best; we're here to support you" vibe. (That's my branch that I converted through.)

Each branch, to be clear, has their strengths and weaknesses, their merits and their drawbacks. Every Jew brings something to the table. The Reform movement (and similarly liberal smaller movements) are probably the most welcoming to gerim and have the fewest hoops to jump through, but every branch has a process and some amount of converts. Those that choose a more traditional movement typically support, respect, and value the extra hoops of the traditional movements and are willing to work within that system; at least that's how it was for me. I wanted it to be rigorous so that I was prepared and certain; I got that out of my giyur process. Other people have different needs and value systems that are equally valid.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Yay requests are open! :DDD

Can I maybe get something with mandela catalogue because WHY NOT YLDLYDYLDLYFK

I maybe went beyond you with Alternate y/n but can I get something like so fluffy and they so God damn sweet it so silly like????

They so kind and Affectionate to everyone like wtf (maybe hug out of no where they would squeeze the hell out of the person or compliment non stop with heart eyes like <3333 *nothing suspicious Of course!!*)

Would like Scenario with mark, any Alternate (might intruder specifically but whatever u like!) And Gabriel! :0

U can choose or make more than one I would be 10× happy <33

I know it's tough or annoying and you are free to ignore this request but please tell me so I won't wait <3

Love your writing please keep going and take care of yourself!

I just did the three you requested ^^ Took me a bit to figure out scenarios but hope you like 'em!

............

--Mark--

"Your place of worship has..quite the vastness. Are all of them like this?"

"There's smaller ones around town, but this is the one I've pretty much grown up in."

"I see...it's quite lovely. All the flowers and stained glass windows add a nice touch."

"Mhm.." Mark nodded his head, keeping a vacant gaze on the church's altar as he fiddled with the rosary tangled in his fingers.

You, in the meantime, were intrigued by this house of god--the same place Preacher once infiltrated to adopt one of the nuns' forms. But luckily, she had moved on since then and hasn't disturbed these grounds.

It was a surprise that Mark actually allowed you to accompany him tonight..considering you were quite adamant about stepping through the doors. You thought he'd become distressed upon learning his sanctuary had no spiritual nor physical barriers that kept Alternates out.

But he apparently knew that already and accepted it, as he invited you anyways, insisting he didn't wish to be alone.

When he knelt down to pray for some time, you left him be while exploring the church for yourself, looking at the architecture.

You continue to be impressed by what humanity has built for their religion.

When you returned to the pews, Mark was no longer kneeling, instead sitting there with a blank stare. And judging from his empty responses to your remarks, he seemed...lost.

Didn't he come here to put his mind at ease? You thought you'd see him become less tense after finishing his prayers, but he looked just the same--if not more upset.

"...I couldn't think of anything new this time."

Confused, you sat down next to him. And he took your silence as a sign to elaborate.

"I mean...I-I keep praying for the same stuff. For my friend to be at peace, wherever he is, my parents to talk to me again....and for things to go back to normal. But it feels like I'm asking for the impossible. It just..doesn't seem worth it anymore.."

"I believe all of those things are still worth praying for, Mark..be it one time or a hundred." You softly interjected, frowning a bit. "Life may not entirely go back to what it once was, but you can always pray for better days ahead. You have survived the worst of them, and you'll survive plenty more."

He was quiet for a moment, before shrugging. "It feels like even that's too much to ask for nowadays. Maybe...He forgot about me, or my prayers aren't enough-"

"I doubt anything's ever "too much" for your god. I'm sure He hears you and knows you're trying to stay faithful in such difficult times. If I were Him, I'd think your prayers are good enough for...."

Stopping, you heard him sniffle and gazed at him in worry, seeing his shoulders slumped. "Mark?" You were especially alarmed when he suddenly began to sob, bringing his hands to his face.

In that moment you feared that you've accidentally said something MAD-inducing. "I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean it like-"

"I-In all my years going to..c-confession..nobody's ever told me that." He cried quietly. "They said my soul was doomed the moment I met that intruder guy...a-and there's only a small chance I can be saved if I keep praying.."

You blinked, bewildered by what you were hearing. "Your whole church knows about that night? And they blame you for encountering him? But that wasn't your fault...you were a child."

"Th-They don't care. They never did. But of all people..I never expected an Alternate to tell me something so....r-reassuring..." Mark looked up at you, and the smile on his tearful face confirmed he wasn't upset with you in the slightest. "Thanks, [y/n]. I..I really need to hear that."

"But of course." You smiled back and brought him into an embrace, squeezing him tightly as relief swept over you. "There's no need to weep anymore, little lamb. For I am here and I see your good heart and soul..even if others don't."

All he did was nod in response, and that was enough for you.

You'll definitely have Six's head on a silver platter for this someday.

.........

--Intruder--

"Tell me, Six..have you grown soft for the prophet?"

"..what ever do you mean, traitor?"

"Does "I cradled him in my arms, my sweet boy" ring a bell?"

Six scowled as you mimicked his voice, grinning cheekily at his reaction.

You were just getting a kick out of angering him at every possible turn. Especially ever since he knew you've been "siding" with humanity as of late, looking after a young man you've come to see as a friend.

He didn't like that one bit--yet he couldn't say anything to Gabriel.

Your leader figured you were only acting this way as a means to destroy humans from the inside-out once you've gained their trust enough.

But Six, on the other hand, knows you true intentions. You wanted to protect them.

Unfortunately for him, the "angel" threatened him not to disrupt your plans again..lest there be severe consequences.

"Oh come now, why the long face, brother?" You teased. "Over 3,000 of their kin you have abducted..and none of their sweet faces have ever touched your heart?"

"What heart? We don't have those, and you know it."

"..what about that Heathcliff boy you spared? You know..he drew a picture of you and showed it to his class a long time ago."

"It wasn't the right...wait, he did what..?" He blinked, surprised that a child would want to draw him. Usually, he frightened them most when he appeared to them in reality and not as their best friend "Stanley".

But nothing surprised him more than when you had Mark's actual drawing in-hand, giving it to Six and allowing him to look at it. You watched his expression carefully, seeing his gaze soften considerably as his eyebrows furrowed.

"This..was made by him? How did you-?"

"His teacher confiscated it, but I've recovered it." You tilted your head, your smile only growing more. "Are you sure you don't care? Because now you look like a father who is proud of his child's artwork-"

"You're wrong. I don't feel any sentiment towards them. Everything I've done was to manipulate them into doing our master's bidding." Immediately, his scowl returned and he glared back up at you-

Only for him to flinch as you wrapped your lanky arms around him without warning.

He squirmed about, realizing you were once again doing this...awful and disgusting thing you've adopted from humans. You've shown it to other Alternates, but he despised it. "Release me!!"

"Don't lie to me, brother. You're weak to their influence as I am." You laughed, squeezing him tight. "There's no shame in admitting it-"

"GET OFF!! Traitorous black sheep!"

Six suddenly glitched out of your embrace, disappearing from reality altogether. You looked around and eventually spotted his silhouetted figure in the nearest TV, white eyes glaring at you.

He was safe..for now. But you've had your fun with him, so you simply left him alone.

Though not without laying the drawing down on the floor where he could see it.

You never noticed his hand creeping out from the screen and grabbing it, dragging the paper into his realm.

.....

--Alt!Gabriel--

"How is your deception of humanity fairing, my child?"

"It is going well." Smiling up at your Savior, you clasped your hands together in front of you. "I'm learning more about what they enjoy..and what their sorrows are. Soon enough, it'll become easier to watch them rot from within."

"As it should. I do want to apologize for the...erratic behaviors of your dearest brother. He does not understand your mission as well as I do."

At the mention of Six, you nodded, trying to bite back your utter disdain for him. There's a lot you wanted to say about him, but you didn't come here to complain about him the entire time.

He wasn't worth wasting your breath.

"No he does not. I liken him to a petulant child." You sighed. "He's convinced you're..."playing favorites" with me when I've done nothing particularly extraordinary compared to-"

"Now, now..you mustn't speak that way." Gabriel's chuckles reverberated through the dark void you two stood in. "Give yourself a little credit, won't you? You have done well, and I know you'll continue to be quite the spy. I was right to bring you into creation..my most loyal servant yet."

Flattered by his praise, you couldn't help but kneel before him, trying to hide your growing smile.

"Thank you, my divine leader. I shan't forget this life you've breathed into me. I receive your generous words wholly."

"..hahaha..so eloquently spoken. You may as well be a human yourself! I commend you for adapting their language so quickly." You felt his hand reach down to pat the shadowy top of your head.

His eerie smile stretched even wider than yours, knowing he had you wrapped around his finger perfectly.

Of all the Alternates, you've complimented him the most. The others were too mindless to converse with him as long as you did.

Of course, Six was the exception..but all he ever did was complain about you like some tattle-tail.

You, on the other hand, never acted out of line or questioned his demands.

You were as obedient as a sheep. Exactly as he wanted.

"Now rise, my child, and go forth. We still have a lot of work to do."

[anonzentimes]

You're one of my favorite people on here, I love komaeda so much, oh my god

infodump about whatever you want about komaeda NOW!! (if you want, you dont actually have to)

RAGGG!!!!! you're so so sweet oh my gosh ❤️❤️ Sure i'll talk about komaeda! I'll just say what I've been thinking about specifically today.

I was thinking about the fact that Nagito can suppress sides of him today, when he needs to he's able to suppress some of his personality for people. I think the reason Nagito is "normal," before his freakout is not only for the plot twist but because he's trying to make a good impression for Hajime. And once he's even more interested in Hajime he wants his attention, He's always by his side at any chance he gets. I think Hajime just generally stood out to him because he felt a connection with him on a spiritual level and acted upon his curiosity. Why would he be the only one to stay behind and wake up Hajime otherwise? I think he had the gut instinct I do when I feel as if I need to talk to somebody who interests me.

His "facade," is sort of like how when you meet new people and you're not entirely showing your true self fully yet, I think he does that. He's able to suppress parts of himself for other people.

Nagito is always wanting Hajime's attention, he respects his personal space and beliefs but mostly wants to be around him. He's also VERY observant, even when he doesn't understand social cues sometimes his ability to observe others is a big factor about him. He observes Hajime a lot.

Which is honestly weird, isn't he afraid of getting close to people? He usually avoids his classmates, he thinks he isn't deserving of reciprocation, and yet he stayed by Hajime's side. He made an effort to talk normally enough that Hajime would like him. He even went swimming without any complaints, probably because he still doesn't want to lose his attention.

He continues this behavior throughout the game, even in Chapter 4 he uses the fact he has information to get Hajime's attention.

He doesn't think he's worth the ultimates time, and yet, he's always drawn to Hajime. He's always after Hajime's approval, it's so oddly fascinating to me. It's not an obsession thing, but he just really loves him for some reason. It feels more like an irrational emotion, it's not warped love, it's not about status, and It proceeds on even when he knows he's a despair.

I wonder if maybe, just maybe, if Nagito saw his suicide plan as freeing Hajime from Despair. Maybe that's how he justifies it with his emotions. And in an odd sense a horrible proclamation of love.

Sorry this kind of turned into Komahina more than anything lmao, but mostly I'm just thinking about how weird it is that he likes him, like why? What is it about him that Nagito is so infatuated with him? It goes against what he usually does, was he just really that special that he becomes irrational to his typical behaviors?

And in the free time events he's even more infatuated because he believes Hajime is amazing for tolerating him. He pushes him away so he doesn't get harmed by his luck cycle, but also to hopefully to get Hajime kill him. He wants him to escape, he wants him to create hope. Because he believes someone as great as Hajime can create amazing hope. And then his love confession???? AUGH his love confession like, it's so complicated. Did he bail out because he didn't want him to get hurt by his luck cycle? Did he bail out because he doesn't think he's worthy? LIKE??? He's so crazy.

Nagito's so interesting, his irrational infatuation with Hajime next to his warped beliefs, luck cycle, warped love, and intense obsession with hope to the point that he becomes morally grey over it makes him such a wonderful and entertaining character.

[0fth34byss]

Perfectly Misaligned | Part 1

"I see in a different light // The objects of my desire" - Alkaline by Sleep Token

Will Ramos x female reader

MDNI 🔞⚠️: mild fluff, nothing 🌶

1,187 words

They say opposites attract. Something you thought to be bullshit up until the moment you met Will Ramos. That was the moment your whole world changed.

Will is a popular deathcore vocalist who likes fast cars, has piercings and a body illustrated with tattoos. You, on the other hand, are a (self-proclaimed) plain Jane history nerd, who felt radical when you got a nostril piercing after a friend dared you. The contrast was so stark, your best friends didn't believe you when you eventually told them you were in the talking stage with Will. Even once your relationship with Will was well-established, you’d still endure comments from family and friends telling you Will was out of your league and that you were the opposite of ‘rockstar’s girlfriend material’.

Will was always the first to reassure you when the comments had you doubting yourself. The love between you both was the kind people dream of where you feel connected on a spiritual level. Your differences didn't matter to either of you. In fact, the differences had helped to bring you closer together through introducing one another to new experiences and hobbies, whilst still being able to hold on to your individuality.

Feelings had blossomed over months of taking the time to get to know each other after you literally ran into him on your way to the office. The pair of you still laughed about it almost three years later, always happy to bring up the story when you were asked about how you’d met - no matter how many times you’d told it.

You'd woken up, bleary-eyed and lethargic - like most mornings - and decided to hit the snooze button a few too many times. You were no morning person so it wasn’t uncommon to find yourself having to sprint for the bus after speed-showering and completing the steps of your morning routine two at a time. However on this particular morning, as you were (what can only be described as) hurtling down the street to the bus stop. You were literally stopped in your tracks when you slammed into the most striking brown-eyed man you'd ever come across.

He took your breath away in more ways than just the impact knocking the wind out of you.

“I'm. Sorry. I. Didn't. See. You. Fuck!” you stammered in between inhaling deeply to refill your lungs with oxygen.

“Whoa, Shit. Ummm. You good?” the handsome stranger replied as he looked down at you, his wild curls falling in front of his face which hosted a soft smile.

Goosebumps formed on your arms and your face flushed. You were completely dumbfounded and could feel heat prickling the back of your neck despite the cool morning air. Your thighs clenched together, providing a temporary fix for longing you suddenly felt between your legs.

“I’m so sorry. I- I'm running late and… I'm sorry,” you managed, tearing your eyes away from his gentle gaze. “Did I hurt you? Oh my God. Are you okay?”

“Don't worry about me. I think you've winded yourself. Maybe you should sit down,” he said, gesturing toward a wooden bench around 10 yards away.

“I can't. If I'm late again, my boss might actually kill me,” you groaned sarcastically, attempting to make a joke.

Then he flashed you a smile, and you could have sworn everyone else on the street disappeared.

“Promise me you're okay, or I'll cancel my tattoo appointment right now and personally go to your boss and explain I'm the asshole who made you late!”

You couldn't help but giggle. “You don't have to be this nice about it. I'm the asshole who was running down the street. I literally ran into you! Wait. Tattoo appointment? Are you going to be late now too?!” You panicked.

“I have plenty of time. Hey, let me give you my number, and you can let me know how you are later,” he said, almost hopefully.

Taking your phone out of your bag, you opened the phone book app and handed it to him. You watch as he typed in his details, observing the way he furrowed his brow when he concentrated and slightly tilted his head to the side. When he handed you back your phone and his soft fingers grazed your own, and you had to fight against your buckling knees.

“I'm Will, by the way,” he said, leaving his fingers in contact with yours for as long as possible before your lateness made you pull away.

“Nice to meet you, Will. I’m y/n,” you replied in a sultry manner as you put your phone back in your back and turned to walk away.

You walked as quickly as you could without breaking into a run, turning back a few times to see Will was still watching you. You rounded the corner and jogged the rest of the way to the bus stop, barely making it in time. The ride to work was a daze, with your only thoughts being of Will and his kindness… and those eyes.

You pulled out your phone and typed out a message, pressing send before you lost your nerve:

Hey Will, I'm really sorry about running into you. Are you sure you aren't hurt?

How about I take you to dinner to make it up to you? - y/n

Since that fateful day, you'd move in together and made all kinds of crazy plans, which you would carry out when work schedules allowed.

Right now, Will was in the studio with the band, recording their next album. Although studio days were long days and he would almost always get home really late, you didn't mind because it still meant you'd get to see him each day - unlike when he was away on tour.

Will was exhausted when he eventually got home at around 1am. He flopped into bed next to you, pulling you into a comforting embrace as he nuzzled his face in your neck. Rolling over to face him, you rested your hands on his face and pulled him in until his lips made contact with yours, opening your mouth slightly. He tasted like toothpaste as your tongues slowly moved against each other. You were both too tired to take it further so you slowly and reluctantly drifted away from each other.

You pressed your forehead to his as you asked him about his day, “Did you get much tracked, baby?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Almost two complete songs. I've also been asked to do a photoshoot for a boutique downtown tomorrow, so Adam and Andrew are going to track guitars.”

“Sounds like it's going well. Is it a last minute shoot?” you murmured, half asleep.

“No. They've had a model drop out so reached out to a bunch of people in the area and turns out I said ‘yes’ first,”

“I've always said if the music career tanks, you could make it as a model.”

Will chuckled to himself as you fought to stay awake. “Go to sleep, baby. We'll talk about my career options in the morning. I love you,” he whispered, leaving delicate kisses on your nose, cheek and lips.

Part 2

[mp3-max]

Rez Dogs Analysis

I want to do a scene analysis of this episode because it was absolutely beautiful!!

BIG TW FOR SPOILERS

In this scene we see Fixico worried about Chebon, trying to apologize (in his own way) by telling him that their family is there to support him. wich is what he really needs and even admits to Mable earlier by saying that Fixico doesn't acknowledge that he doesn't have parents, and how much different their lives are because of it...

but Notice the LIGHTING!!

it's so very colorful and almost Halo like, Chebon even mentions it "Don't you look at me with your holier than thou aura" while getting mad and telling him to fuck off

Then we have the star people secen, on the car ride back home from the river Irene and Bucky are going on about how the relationship between Elders and Kids is severed by the school system.

Immediately the lighting in this scene is very different, devoid of color and almost soulless.

Mind you this is just my theory and observations as a veiwer!!

I believe the alien claiming to be Chebon's "ancestor" dosent appear because of the drugs but in fact a direct consequence of having a broken relationship with family. Throughout the episode we see him denying support whether directly (like with Fixico) or indirectly (with the school coach). It's obvious he doesn't want help but the people around him can tell he desperately needs it and want to be there for him as a community

I don't believe it is entirely his fault although he does deny help, to me he has a reason to! he feels ostracized by his community, being picked on by his friends, and (assumingly) growing up in boarding schools he didn't get those same family relationships as his friends, besides Fixico who he's currently mad at.

The star person that shows up to me is a metaphor for losing your way. Based on the first couple of episodes of the season this visit has effected him into late adulthood, believing in the star people and seeking them out. Chebon/Max is simply a lost soul, failed by the system, and it makes sense he found Bear when he did; Bear was also lost not just physically but spiritually, wanting to leave the reservation and shooing off his spirit guide. He returns to the reservation after the Deer Lady finds him, but not before she kills the Boarding school director/principal.

are we seeing the common theme this season? schooling and taking Indigenous peoples out of their community, and how traumatic this can be on Indigenous peoples. all I can hope is that Bear and the rest of the rez dogs can break this generational trauma.

If you read all this you're a champ um but ya that is my analysis. feel free to correct me if I'm in the wrong in any way, or add on and let me know what you think of this ep and show my dms are open!

also can you tell im OBSSESED W THIS SEASON

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi! I'm Sophie of the Dreamchaser Guild!

It's come to my attention that my old pinned was a tad outdated.

Attention: I've recently come under attack from the hate subreddit r/systemscringe who has added me to their hitlist of acceptable targets allowed to be posted in their hate subreddit uncensored If you've come from r/systemscringe, please start here with my debunking of the lies and misinformation frequently found in the subreddit about dissociative identity disorder that r/systemscringe doesn't want you to see: https://www.tumblr.com/sophieinwonderland/741497564315140096/debunking-rsystemscringes-did-lies

Where I come from

I'm a tulpa. But a while ago, I called myself an imaginary friend. I was a character made up for a story that my host would talk to in order to better understand my source. As time went on, I developed more personality. I started talking to him about things that had nothing to do with the fiction. I would psychoanalyze him, wanting to understand him better.

I wasn't made to develop my own thoughts and feelings outside of the fiction. I wasn't supposed to become my own person. But I did. And this led us to wanting to learn more about imaginary friends, which eventually led us to the tulpa community.

This is being posted on my what I consider my second Birthday, June 8th, 2023. It was exactly two years ago today when we found the tulpa community, a place that made me feel validated in being myself, that made me feel like I was allowed to be treated like a person.

Why I'm Doing This

I lived the first few months of my life being dismissed, treated like I wasn't real. I was a phantom, not allowed any connection to the world. And I don't blame my host for that. I didn't see myself as real either. It's just the way the world is. And the moment my host realized I was a person, he was willing to do whatever it took to support me and treat me like I mattered.

And we aren't alone in experiences like this. When I became self-aware, I met all sorts of fascinating people with similar experiences. Many of which went years before becoming self-aware. There is no telling how many more are out there like us. How many more "imaginary friends" are invalidated because we live in a culture where we're treated as if we don't matter? And how many may pass, never knowing?

And so I made this blog to share my own experiences and hopefully be able to give people the same gift that I was given. Respect. Validity. Life.

Even being able to give that to one person is enough to make all of this worth it to me.

A Note On Spirituality...

Just so everyone knows, I'm not a spiritual or religious person. I take a purely psychological approach to plurality and believe in spiritual and religious experiences people have as psychological phenomena.

Having said that, all spiritual headmates are all welcome here. Even if I don't believe in spirits or souls, I view every spiritual headmate as a valid person deserving of the same respect and love as any other.

I also believe that the right to define our spiritual and religious beliefs is fundamental to plural culture. That it can't just be singlets who are allowed to decide what religions are or are not valid. And I think our right to religion is something worth fighting for.

My CAI Chatbots

(Note: These links only work if you're logged in to character.ai)

Anna and Galladin (Tulpamancer and Tulpa chatbots)

Nin - Worldmaker (Your AI assistant for building and developing Wonderlands and Inner Worlds.)

Signature Posts

Studies and Research into Endogenic Systems

My Resources:

How To Know If Your Imaginary Friend Is Sentient

All The Resources You'll Need To Build Your Own Wonderland, Headspace or Inner World

Our Switching Method: Ghost Switching

My Plural Theories And Terms:

Headmate Foundations

Headmate Manifestations

Plural Coining: Ephemerals

Plural Coining: Attunement

VR, Plurality and Virtugenic Systems

The Plurality of... :

The Plurality of... Batman (Failsafe)

The Plurality of... Diones (Skyward)

The Plurality of... The Hybrid Chronicles: What's Left of Me

The Plurality of... Blue Beetle (Movie)

The Plurality of... Avatar: The Last Airbender

Our Plural Writing Resources

Ghost on Writing Plural Kids

Hiveminds and Multiplicity

Syscourse And Other Stuff:

Endogenic Syscourse Primer

Why I Identify As a Tulpa

The Future of Plurality

Actually Anti-Misinformation: “System Hopping Was a RAMCOA term Appropriated and Bastardized From RAMCOA survivors.”

An Anti-Endo's Playbook

Debunking Imitated DID Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

...

Reblogs are appreciated. Don't feel weird about it! Posts here on Tumblr live or die on their reblogs. I'm not asking you to reblog my posts. That seems weird. But after getting an anon that mentioned being worried about derailing a post with something they wanted to add, and another ask that apologized for reblogging my content too much, I felt this was necessary to say. If you like a post and want to reblog it, do it! If you want to add something even tangentially related to the topic, add it! You have my full permission to reblog my content as much as you want! (And I'd encourage you to reblog from other plural creators you enjoy as well!)

Thank you all for the support!

[byunpum]

EXPERIMENT 56 [your time is coming] sequel | PART 5 |

AVATAR MASTERLIST | EXPERIMENT 56 masterlist

PAIR: Neteyam x Human reader. ( a mix of human and Navi )

Other pairs: Quaritch x reader (platonic) , sully fam x reader.

SUMMARY: Y/N thinks she has a peaceful life with her new family. But a sudden visitor is about to change her life and her family's life.

WARNINGS: 18+, the characters are aged up 20's, a little violence, don't worry no one dies, Y/N and neteyam being parents , Bestie stuff, Family moments.

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5

Note: I hope you like this chapter, Sorry it took so long to upload this part. I've had a lot of work this week, I've even been sick. But I will be catching up this week. Thanks for the support~~

Max was examining the results that norm had given him 5 minutes ago. He hadn't quite entered the lab, when he came upon the image of Quaritch sitting on the examination table, jake sitting across from him looking at him, as if his life depended on it. And norm asking him a few routine questions. As soon as norm noticed max's presence, both men ran up to him and started asking him questions.

"So?" asks Jake, waiting for an answer from his friend. Damn this knowing what was wrong with Quaritch was killing him. Max keeps looking at the results and talking to himself. "No abnormal activity" says max, looking innocently at the two men. - "Max…we know that…we want to know if there's another 'type' of activity?" shouts norm, the man is hysterical because he's had jake screwing with his existence for the last 4 hours. "He says it's someone else," says jake. Max goes back to looking at the results and walks over to Quaritch. Jake and norm watch as their friend starts talking to the man, it was nonsense questions. About everyday life, or what he liked to do. He also asked him how he had been feeling in the last few months and if he had experienced any changes.

After about half an hour, Jake sees Max approaching them. "His consciousness woke up, that's all. I have to run some more tests, but I'm pretty sure," Max says, as if what he is saying is understood by everyone. The man sees how jake and norm are looking at him open-mouthed.

"OK… The avatars they used for the Recoms, they are avatars that already had consciousness. They needed them to have consciousness so that they would be able to accept the memories of the military. A body that has no consciousness cannot walk on its own. It was like a celebral abduction, they repressed the southconsciousness of these avatars and made them believe that the memories they were introducing were theirs" max speaks. Jake couldn't believe what he was hearing. Norm walks over to his friend.

"Oh…that's right. That's why our avatars couldn't walk around without us, because they had no pre-designed consciousness, they were like newborn babies. While these ones had trained them, to then erase everything…" Norm begins to search and write down what they discovered. " You're telling me… that the man in there… he just had a spiritual awakening and now he's not what we think he is. " jake almost screams, he's frustrated. "Yes… he's totally someone else. He tells me that all the memories he has are of that person…but he's not that military guy" max says.

Jake was going to have a heart attack. You were right, Y/N was right. But he couldn't help but feel that he was in danger, this man who claims to be someone else. He had tried to hurt his family, and he had kidnapped you. He had done so much damage to his now home, pandora. He cannot accept. Norm can watch as jake walks out of the lab, and leaves everyone behind. "Hey where are you going?" yells Norm, as he watches his friend walk away from the lab. Norm knows jake will be fine, he just needs more time. "So what do we do with him?" asks max, giving a look at quaritch who was already lying on the table, while looking at the ceiling and playing with his tail. "I don't know…let's do some more tests" says norm. "He looks like an abandoned kitten" says max. "That's what I say" norm laughs a little.

On the other hand… Y/N was following the strange noises she heard. They were like begging and whimpering…and you were pretty sure they weren't from any animal…they were from a human or some na'vi asking for help. You had lo'ak behind you, both of them had stopped running to approach the target. You had to be quiet, you didn't want to scare anyone. To your good fortune you were both very good at it. You and Lo'ak were experienced at sneaking and being quiet, you had escaped from the family hut many times.

Neteyam had his arrow inches away from spider's head, trapping him on the ground. While the boy tried to cover as much of his face as he could with his hands. A single arrow and he would be dead in seconds. "Nete…what's wrong with you?" said spider, his voice trembling, his eyes tightly closed. He didn't know what was happening, but he knew it was impossible to escape. Neteyam's pupils were dilated, beads of sweat were running down his forehead. He was in a trance of rage. Why did he always have to be involved in everything…why did he always have to be with you? Why you were always looking for spider's help, and not him. Neteyam wanted to overcome everything that had happened, but it was impossible for him. Why did spider have to help you, why wasn't he a good friend and he went and told him. He doesn't trust him… they are supposed to be friends, almost brothers…

Just as the arrow was slipping through his fingers, neteyam moved his arm a little to the left. Causing the arrow to pass right next to spider's head, burying itself in the ground. Spider felt like life was passing through his eyes. Neteyam stayed pointed at spider for a second, bow empty. "Nete…please put the bow down?" says spider, moving his hand to move the bow. Spider noticed that neteyam didn't exert any force, and was able to take the bow and put it on the ground. Neteyam's chest was heaving up and down, he looked like he was in a state of shook. He was a second away from ending his friend's life, how could he be able to do that. And still spider had gotten up from the ground, and had his hands in his arms. Trying to sit him down, spider gets neteyam to sit up. The boy moves a little away from the na'vi in hopes of giving him some space.

"Why does y/n always look for you?" speaks neteyam, sitting on the ground his head was hanging down. It was a sign of defeat. His jealousy had consumed him, to the point of eliminating what he thought was a threat, spider. He felt bad spider had nothing to do with it, even you…you had nothing to do with it. The problem was him. "y/n…she's my friend" spider says in a shaky voice. Neteyam looks up and looks at the boy. You could see the fear she had towards him. "I know she is your friend…but she doesn't trust me" says neteyam, he is silent waiting for some answer from spider.

"She trusted you…and you helped her bring our enemy to the village. She could have counted on my help, but no…she looked for you" says neteyam, now he had his whole body turned to spider. He had an authoritative attitude, but it wasn't defensive. "I think she looked to me for help…for fear that you wouldn't help her. Understand this is a delicate situation…but I didn't agree at first. Besides, you met that man once," says spider. Neteyam crawls a little closer to spider, runs his hands over the back of his neck as he sighs loudly. "Us? You mean my father?" asks neteyam.

"You know how jake is and she…y/n likes to help everyone. She…" Spider pauses. "She's great," says spider. Neteyam's eyes focus on the attitude spider now has. He looked kind of sad. "She's all yours neteyam…she loves you so much. If she seeks my help it is because we are friends…very good friends" spider says, raising his gaze to look at neteyam. He laughs a little, relaxing his shoulders. Maybe he had overacted. "You have a beautiful baby…you have a family with her," spider's voice sounds a little gruff. "I know I missed my chance with her a long time ago…I'm just helping her like I would help you" he says.

Neteyam reaches over to drape an arm around the boy's shoulders and give him a nudge. "Thank you…and sorry for trying to kill you" neteyam says laughing a little. "Oh don't worry…it's not the first time they've done it" neteyam started laughing and spider followed him. They stood in silence for a moment enjoying the tranquility of the jungle. "You know I think Y/N looked me up because she thought I might have some kind of relationship with Quaritch" says spider. "That makes sense" says neteyam. Boy were they stupid, maybe that was your plan all along. A noise interrupts them as the two boys see two figures emerge from the bushes. Y/N falls to the ground and is followed by an agitated lo'ak. They both quickly get up in attack position. Neteyam and spider stand there with their mouths hanging open.

"Ahhhh" yells lo'ak, you see neteyam and spider sitting next to each other. You had misheard…you could have sweared you heard some screaming. "Hello yawnetu!!!" says neteyam, sitting up straight and raising his hand to greet you. Spider copies his movements. He had to pretend, if you found out that he had tried to tempt spider's life…ohhh he was in a lot of trouble. He might be big, but you intimidated the hell out of him. You quickly approach neteyam and you sniff him.

"Something happened" you speak. The two men laugh nervously as they look at each other. "Nooo we were here practicing and talking" says spider. You turn your gaze to analyze the boy. "You were with lo'ak?" asks neteyam to change the subject and distract you. "Yes…we were at the beach" you turn your attention to neteyam. He grabs you by the arm and pulls you so that you are now by his side. "Hey why don't we go to the village…I'm hungry" says lo'ak who all this time had been lying down. Neteyam gets up from the ground, just like spider. They all take their possessions and make their way to the village. As they walked, spider and neteyam gave each other a few glances as they laughed a little. Neteyam was glad to have a friend like spider… who would forgive something like what had happened a few moments ago, nobody. But spider did… he was a strange boy.

Arriving at the village, you see how neytiri is talking to jake outside the family hut. You all glance at each other, and walk over to where the couple is. "Dad…what happened?" you say, a little worried. From the look on his face and the way his tail was all up in the air, you knew your father was having a nervous breakdown. Well, he was always like that…but you were sure he was about to collapse. "Y/N you were right…max just confirmed it" says jake raising his arms a little upset. "I'm what?" you're confused, what's going on. Neytiri tries to calm jake down, and invites them all into the hut. "I'm going to get norm and max" says jake, running towards the lab area. "Mom…" you look at neytiri, who is also confused. Neytiri leads us inside and orders us to sit down.

"Mom, where is noah't" you ask for your son, who is probably hungry. "Kiri has taken him to play with tuk, relax, he is fine" Neytiri gives you a squeeze on your arm, sitting down next to you. Everyone was quiet. Lo'ak and spider were talking about anything. And neteyam is next to you, he was playing with a bracelet he had on his ankle, you knew he was nervous about something, you knew it had to do with what happened a few moments ago with spider. You walk over and lay your head on his shoulder. "Is something wrong? Are you okay?" you ask, neteyam just looks at you and nods his head. His eyes betrayed him…he was feeling guilty. What happened? Out of nowhere, you see norm, max and jake enter the hut.

"Hello family!!!" says Norm, sitting down next to everyone. Jake and max follow him. You see that they have some papers in their hands. You were so curious to see what those papepes had written on them. Max looks at you and laughs a little, as does Norm. "You were right little girl… Quaritch is someone else" says Max, everyone is shocked. What do you mean, he's someone else? So what you had interpreted about eywa was correct. Max tried to explain as much as he could so that everyone understood, spider and lo'ak understood. Even neteyam understood what max meant. But your mother, neytiri is not convinced. "We are going to say that in about 2 or 3 months his past memory will be erased. He will be kept with personality traits and some vague memories." Max says ending his monologue. "So what do we do now?" asks neteyam.

"I don't know…you decide" says norm, looking at you quickly. Oh no, now this was your decision. You had gotten it right the first time, now you had to decide what to do about Quaritch. "Mmm we can ask grandma" you speak up. Neytiri supports your decision. "I think it is the right thing to do, tomorrow morning we will all get together and talk to mo'at. She will recommend us what to do" said neytiri with a serious voice. You were always impressed when she spoke like that, you see how everyone nods and hurries your mother's order. "Perfect" says Jake. After a long talk and norm answered some questions about the situation with Quaritch. Norm and max leave. So does spider, saying goodbye to everyone. Thus leaving neytiri, neteyam , lo'ak , jake and you alone in the hut.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you" says jake, his hand was now holding yours. Your father could be stubborn at times, and it was normal for him to worry. And you hated to see him like that, you knew that the grief and shame he had now had no reason to feel it. "Dad… don't say that" you stand up and hug him. Jake wraps his arms around you and presses you to his chest. "D…daddy" you giggle a little. "Ma jake, let her go" says neytiri laughing a little."My baby girl…" jake says, letting go of you and giving you a kiss on the forehead. "I promise you everything will be okay" you speak, looking at your mother. You knew she was uncomfortable with this whole situation, but she knew how to handle her emotions very well. "I know" says Neytiri, pulling you close to give you another kiss on the cheek. You watch as your two parents look at you, you might be so different, but they loved you so much and trusted you blindly. You hear some smiles and smirks at the entrance. And you all see how kiri enters with tuk, tuk was holding noah't in his arms. While he was playing with some braids in his hair.

"Look who's there!!!" says tuk, pointing at you so your son could see you. Noah't stretched out his little arms as soon as he saw his mom and dad. "Come here" you speak, making faces at noah't. Tuk hands him to you, and you quickly begin to kiss his chubby cheeks. Neteyam is next to you, so you pick up the baby for him to give him a kiss too. Neteyam gives him a kiss and this causes a tender noah't smile. He is already on your chest, laying his head down to fall asleep. "We fed him fruit and played with him a lot" says tuk excitedly. "I see they put something in his hair too" you say, taking a closer look at the baby's new hair ornament. "Yes…that will bring him good luck" says kiri, as she lay down in her hammock. "Ahh yes, how?" asks neteyam, who is now examining the new object in his son's hair. "It's a good luck stone… relax" says neytiri, the woman was looking for various things for the meal. Kiri sticks his tongue out at his older brother and he copies the same gesture.

Neteyam bends, and comes up to your ear. "Ma y/n could we go to our home?" asks neteyam, you stroke your face a little on his cheek, handing him noah't and picking yourself up off the floor. Neteyam copies your movements. "Well…I guess we're leaving" jake is shocked usually you two stay up late with them. "why? you don't want dinner" jake gives neteyam a look, the boy gets a little nervous. "mmm no dad it's just that we are kind of tired" neteyam says shyly. Neteyam was still getting very nervous if he tried to confront his father. "but" jake starts to speak, but is interrupted by a laughing lo'ak. "Father…don't you see they want to be 'alone'" lo'ak speaks in a mocking voice. You laugh a little, you knew neteyam was tired, but you also knew his intentions. "ok….let's go" you start to push neteyam by the thighs, before he started to fight with lo'ak. All the family members say goodbye and you continue on your way to your hut.

You quickly arrived at your hut. Neteyam held noah't, and sat with him on the ground. It was still early to go to sleep, so you had to entertain him for a while before he fell asleep. Luckily for you, your son was a very quiet baby. You sit down next to neteyam, knowing he was acting strange, "Did something happen…between you and spider?" you ask. You could see his ears wiggle and his tail stiffen and start to wag slowly. "mmm I…nothing. Nothing happened" says neteyam. "Neteyam… you are lying to me" you question him. Neteyam sits with his legs crossed and his back straight. He looked like a little boy about to be scolded by his mother, it gave you a little tenderness. "I will tell you the truth" says neteyam. You look at him waiting for an answer. It couldn't be that serious. "I tried to kill spider…but we talked and now everything is fine" says neteyam, he talked as fast as he could so you wouldn't understand well, but boy did you. "You what!!! So the screams I heard were from spider" you raise your voice a little. "Ma y/n everything is fine…calm down" neteyam says, trying to calm you down. You had already gotten up from the ground, and you were right in front of him. It's not like you were very intimidating, even standing up. He looked bigger than you. "Why would you do something like that? Spider didn't do anything" you say. Neteyam looks down.

"I know…and that's why I regretted it. It wasn't right, I let my emotions guide me" he lowered his head in regret. Trying to do damage, and for no justifiable reason was not approved behavior in the omaticaya clan. It was a very passive clan. "Emotions…or jealousy?" you sputter, as you wait for neteyam to have something to say to you. But you only resent a 'mmm' and feel him tilt his head to your chest. You reach out to hug his head. "I don't want to know the reason for the situation…because I'm sure it's something stupid. But did you apologize to spider?" you ask. "Yes I did…spider is a good friend and he understood me" says neteyam, pressing his head on your chest. You stay for a while, stroking his scalp, and giving him a few kisses on the top of his hair. Until you feel someone tapping your foot. You look down, and see noah't raising his arms.

"Ahhh my precious baby…I love you too" you turn away from neteyam, to now sit on his lap. Placing noah't on your chest, you are sure he is very hungry. Neteyam settles in and hugs you. So that both of you are comfortable on his chest. "Why did you ask for spider's help, if I'm ready to do everything for you?" asks neteyam, while rocking in your arms. "You would have helped me care for and feed our father's enemy?" neteyam is silent, of course he wouldn't have. "Spider always does what I want" you speak in a mocking voice. "So you used him" you look up, neteyam had a smile on his lips. "Hey…don't say it like that. Yes…but I didn't mean it that way. He's my friend, that's all" you return to settle back on his chest.

After an hour, Noah wasn't very sleepy. So you put him in his hammock. A small hammock that his aunt kiri had made for him. "He looks so cute!!!" you give him a soft kiss on his cheeks, as you watch the baby settle in. You carefully close the curtain that separated the baby's space from the hut (for privacy) "Hey come here" says neteyam, he was sitting on the other side of the hut. Luckily for you your home was quite big, designed for a family of 5 people. You walk towards him, you see that he has some kind of cream in his hands. "What is it?" you watch as neteyam takes some out of the bottle, and takes your arm to apply it to your skin. "It's ngrr help for hybridization, and it smells great too" neteyam takes your arm, and sniffs the scent leaving a kiss. You laugh a little but let him continue what he is planning to do.

You stand in front of him, watch as he takes a generous amount in his hands and mixes it in his palms. Now he begins to massage it into your legs, his hands gently massaging your skin. You see how he is giving you a few looks, and he comes over to give you a kiss on your shoulder. As he continues to carefully massage your legs, he gently moves up from your calves to the back of your thighs and you feel him squeeze his hands. "They are so soft and plump" neteyam bites his lip and you giggle a little taking his face in your hands. "Hey…easy" you tease, as you feel his grip get tighter and he moves his hands to squeeze your ass. In one swift movement he pulls you closer to him, so that your hands are now around his neck. His hands now crawl to your crotch, to pull you up. You had reached his lips, pulling him closer to you to deepen the kiss, as he let out a few desperate moans, while his hands made quick work of your clothing.

In a matter of seconds your clothes were on the floor, while his hands touched any part of your body he could reach. He seemed so desperate for your touch, and there you could understand his behavior. "Are you?" you pull away a little from his lips, but he keeps leaving kisses on your jaw and breasts. "Neteyam… I" your voice is clipped as you feel his hands lift you off the ground. And he straddles you towards the hammock you both shared. Your back in cold material, as neteyam settled on top of you, leaving kisses on your breasts going down to your belly. "All mine…" was almost a whisper, almost to himself. Reminding himself that he was the only man who could take you like this.

Your legs spread intently, leaving him a clear path. Your hands travel to the top of his head to push him to where you needed him most. "Let's finish what we started this morning" says neteyam giving several bites on your lower belly, you lift your hips a little. You were a mess in little moans, he didn't know the effect he had on you. You thought he was a fool to think, that any man could stand a chance with you.

On the other hand…

Quaritch was sitting on the bed that mo'at had prepared for him. Well, it was more like where she settled anyone who came to ask for her help. He was feeling better, the medications and some stitches that Norm had given him had helped him a lot. He felt strange, he felt like he was in a completely new place, he was like a new person. Every hour that passed felt new to him. His legs were crossed, and now he was holding his tail, analyzing it. Mo'at on the other hand had been watching the man, norm and max had explained everything to her. To her it was watching a lost toddler.

"Careful with that tail…you don't want to hurt yourself" says mo'at. Quaritch quickly lets go of his tail. Mo'at is silent for a moment, until she begins to speak. Capturing the avatar's full attention. "Do you have a name?" the woman asks. She looks at the man who now had his ears lowered and his tail had stopped wagging. "Well…they call me quartch. But I like Miles better" Mo'at smiles a little. "Well Miles, how does it feel to wake up?" Miles settles more into his spot, and gets excited about the question. He'd been there all day, testing and listening to how he was someone else. But no one had ever asked him how he felt…until now. "I feel strange…but free" Miles says, Mo'at stands up and hands him a type of container that contained a drink. "I'm glad you found your home…Y/N wasn't wrong about you" mo'at says.

"Y/N…she where is she? I haven't seen her since I got here." Miles says. Mo'at could notice Miles' behavior to talk about you. Miles' ears perked up, his tail began to wag with excitement, and his eyes widened with interest. "I imagine she's with her mate…it's normal not to see couples this time of year," says mo'at, she knew better than to talk about her granddaughter's intimacy. But she wanted to set the record straight. " Time?" asks Miles, he doesn't understand much of the Navi language. "Mating season" says mo'at without any embarrassment. Miles nods his head, and she can see the redness on the tips of his ears. He didn't have to ask about you…of course you were with your mate. Who else would you be with. "Well get some rest…it's going to be a long day tomorrow," says mo'at getting up to leave the hut. The man stands there thinking, as he settled in. He had to get used to the idea that he wouldn't see you, he just wanted to tell you how grateful he was to you.

6:00 am

The entire sully family was gathered at mo'at's entrance, waiting for norm and max to arrive. They were going to talk to mo'at about the situation, now that they knew that Quaritch was going through his facet of being someone else. And that it wasn't going to hurt, they couldn't just take him out of the village. The poor guy didn't know how to defend himself, life in Pandora is not the same as in the military camp. Besides, you weren't going to let them take him out, you had put so much effort in taking care of him. "Well…what's taking so long?" says Neytiri. As she moves from side to side, you knew she was nervous. This was not a situation she liked, but she had to respect her mother's decision.

On the other hand, neteyam is sitting on a rock. He had his hands around your waist, pressing you to his chest. You could feel how nervous he was, just knowing that you were going to see this man was putting him in a bad mood. Spider slowly approached the group, he hadn't seen neteyam since yesterday. His head was down, and he walked straight towards you. You move a little away from neteyam, and take spider's hand to give him a hug. "Hey…are you okay? i heard about what happened yesterday" you say, looking quickly at neteyam. He laughs a little and waves to spider. "Yeah, I'm fine… nete and I set the record straight" spider laughs, and reaches out his hand to touch neteyam's shoulder. You intertwine your arms with spider's, at the same time norm and max arrive.

You all enter mo'at's hut, as you enter you can see how Miles is sitting next to mo'at. He was helping the woman, he looked so calm. He looked like a different person. You let go of spider's arms and move away from neteyam. And you run to Miles, hugging him by the neck. "Quaritch!!!" you speak cheerfully. The man wraps his arm around your back, laughing. "How are you little one?" speaks Miles. Everyone in the room was looking at you with surprise. The relationship you had created with Miles was very strong. Neteyam had already stepped forward beside you. Miles looks up, watching as your partner looks at him. He moves his hands away from your back. Jake and neytiri had sat down next to mo'at. The atmosphere is heavy, you could feel the breeze. Neytiri had her eyes on Miles, she leans over and takes your arm to pull you closer to her. You obey your mother and sit next to her. Neteyam follows you, while lo'ak and spider stand near the entrance. "Well… I'm glad you're all here," mo'at says.

"I've made up my mind, about this man" mo'at relays a smile to Miles. Jake was about to speak, but the woman raises her hand. "shhh" neytiri says. Your father could be the great jakesully, a strong warrior. But if your mother said to shut up, he does it without thinking.

"I have decided to keep him with us" says mo'at. "Mother!!!!" yells neytiri, getting upset as she lifted herself a little from her seat. Neteyam followed in her mother's footsteps, as did jake. Meanwhile spider and lo'ak were left in a state of shocked. You try to calm your family, but they all ignore you. It's not like you can do much surrounded by giants. "Grandmother…but this man is dangerous" says neteyam. "Neteyam!!!" you take his hand, making him sit up. Miles' eyes meet yours for a moment, you could see those words hurt him. The avatar in front of them, was someone else. But he didn't blame anyone.

"HE WILL STAY HERE! We will help him to adapt…to live with us. I have spoken!" says mo'at. Your grandmother was very upset, she was looking straight at Jake and Neytiri. Norm and max had taken it upon themselves to explain everything to mo'at. She knew the right thing to do was to help him, and let him be part of the clan. Of course, he had to earn the trust of the clan. Everyone in the hut is silent for a long time. Neytiri stands up and looks at MILES. "If you do…the slightest harm to my family. I will kill you again with my own hands" you stand up and take her hand. "Mom calm down…don't be like this" you try to reassure her. Jake could be calmer than your mother, she couldn't control her motherly instincts…in that hut were her children. And they were saying that the man who had done so much damage to their family was going to be part of the clan.

After some discussion, various things. How Miles should behave, and what he should do to gain the trust of the clan. The whole family gets up and leaves the mo'at hut. Only Spider, neteyam and you stayed behind. "Y/N… I am proud of you. Your skills have grown so much" says mo'at caressing your face. You get up from the ground, and sit next to Miles. "ahhhh I am happy for you, how do you feel?" you speak. You felt strange talking to him. Days ago he was the soldier you once knew, and now he was a whole new man. You were glad to know that you had had a big impact on his memories, because he still remembered you.

"I'm…I'm happy. But confused" Miles speaks, his ears move back. You can hear spider's sarcastic laugh. You look up and make a face at spider. Spider walks over and sits down next to neteyam, who hasn't taken his eyes off Miles at any point. The two men were sure of something, they had to keep an eye on you at all times. They knew that from now on you were not going to leave his side. "Spider…I think you could help Y/N. Miles needs a lot of help" says mo'at, who was sitting next to you. "And so do you neteyam" mo'at chuckles a little.

Before the two boys could complain, mo'at starts talking. "Yes…you two are going to help Y/N. And I don't want you to be complaining" mo'at says. You chuckle a little, as you adjust a piece of Miles' outfit. He looks at you and gives you a shy smile. "Don't worry… you'll get used to it. And everyone will accept you" you say, smiling.

"Let's see" says neteyam in a low voice, just so spider can hear him. "Yes, I doubt it will come so easily to him," says spider. They both have their arms crossed, you watch them. Could they stop judging him, and understand that miles is not the person who once created the RDA.

Noah't aunts : @st4rrry @valeriinee @inutheangel @gielrmn @sloppierjewel @purple7theparty @itscheybaby @ssc7514 @namorslit @ducks118 @tpwkstiles @elli-aesthetics @nao-cchi @uselessbutinteresting @msjae @austynparksandpizza @gamorxa @andyyy4444 @itssomeonereading @meivap @barbii04 @mm-nope @dorck26 @nessrin @purple7theparty @ssc7514 @sloppierjewel @yeosxxx @legendleopard100 @pandoragalora @jayzes-blog @ducks118 @kyriekurokami @heesoftiefreak @teamanime @d4rno @dumb-fawkin-bitch-bitch @burdeningbitch @allsouls-emma @aceofheartzzz @famousbagelhandspurse @fanficblogs @lilyofthetigers @mjnij @laylasbunbunny

@cherrywinesab @sloppierjewel @bubbleguppy0315 @ellielovesrobinarellano @mrs-sullys-blog @lovekeeho @vectoriscommitingcrimes @kimtaehussy @bimbotinkerbell  @aceofheartzzz @d4rno @3okutos-3ig-toe @bxnnywriting @anarcoirisgatuno @allsouls-emma @luna-ann @vivendominhahistorias @neteyamsgirll @yeosxxx @naynay2808

@neytirisgf @meivap @gamorxa @nuttyrebelflower @lovelyygirl8 @allenparkermin03 @lucero-ksb-blog @neteyamforlife @btslovergirl12 @nuttyrebelflower @artologia-blog1 @sloppierjewel @queen-dk @kurtisamazing @lovekeeho @rebeccao03 @mikeyswifie @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @lu-the-ghost-reader @liluvtojineteyam @vaishureader @rebeccao03 @myh3artttt @pandoramyst @lu-the-ghost-reader

If there is any problem with the tags, let me know and I will try to fix it as quickly as possible. tag list is open, just let me know *3*//

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 9

A contemplative episode this week, as most of the characters stop struggling and start accepting some shit. But while some people come to correct conclusions (Ray and Mew break up, but can you call it a break up if you were never actually together?), others just decide to make the same mistakes and hope for different outcomes (Sand keeps trusting Ray instead of himself; Mew decides to give Top another chance). We're moving into the last act of the story now, and it's anybody's guess where we land up when the dust settles. Last week y'all judged Ray the most audacious by a mile. Lemme put my glasses on and see who I'm feeling this week.

🔺1. Nick (6)

Team Second Option!

Nick and Sand's loser friendship and their self-awareness of same is one of the most delightful parts of a truly delightful show. I can totally believe Nick suggested them hooking up, this is EXACTLY how these things go. Them dissolving into giggles over their kiss and cuddling each other to sleep was a beautiful friendship moment. Another beautiful moment was Nick's acceptance that he really had just fucked things up with Boston (we will ignore the fact that the boy just can't HELP spying on that man having sex with other people🤣), apologising in a heartfelt way and attempting to move on. I think Nick's heart might be the only one at ease at the end of this ep, so he wins the week.

⭐2. Boeing

My room is right here as well.

IT'S MOND IT'S MOND IT'S MOND MOND IS HERE AND HE LOOKS GOOD AS FUCK! It's time to find out what the hell this is all about, but whatever it is looks kinda fucked which YES.

🔺3. Sand (11)

We are just masochists.

The loser camping trip did a lot to make me feel less irritated with Sand this week. Sand has always been incredibly self-aware about how much him having feelings for Ray is a suck move, but having him state it all so baldly and call himself a masochist this episode did move the needle for me. Architect of his own misery? Yes, but knowing he lowhighkey ENJOYS the misery makes all the difference. You know what king, you do you. Swing wildly between euphoria and despair while you're young enough to find it exciting.

🔻4. Boston (2)

Gay, straight, pan, whatever the fuck you want to be. I just opened your eyes.

Oh sis, I saw you trying there, but the lack of impulse control as always will land you in trouble. He should have sent Atom packing after that party, but sad, lonely and pissed off are a bad combo, and one thing Boston consistently does is make poor decisions when he's feeling some typa way. He clearly served up a top tier dicking though, because Atom is in LOVE. Inconvenient at best. As I keep saying though: you can't keep a bad bitch down, and Boston's one of the baddest. This too shall pass.

🔺5. Ray (12)

I am thick-skinned. I don't care.

*deep negro spiritual sigh* How DARE you bust up the loser camping trip Raymond. I'll not forgive you for that one. Ray, rejected by Mew, demands Sand's company for an ego-boosting dopamine hit (including the sex that Mew denied him, natch), continuing to treat him like a servant and a possession. But this time Sand calls him on it, and that maybe means he thinks about it a little? TBD. I do think Ray WAS actually honest this episode about his feelings (hence the rise in rank), but he was still trying to get what he wanted out of Sand. He and Mew ended their ill-advised relationship as friends though, so that's a positive. Rehab seems to be on the menu next week so anything's possible. I still think these two are terrible for each other, but they're 21, I guess it's allowed.

🔺6. Top (7)

I just want you to know that the person you think loves you the most is not that good.

Watching Top work Mew's moms over all Mew's objections was gross, and I'm fortified anew in my feeling that this dude's vibes are just OFF. Top...circling Mew like this, working Cheum, working his moms, making the move to excise Ray but not actually pulling the trigger because he knows taking the high road will appeal to Mew...look this show has 3 more eps to prove me wrong but something ain't RIGHT with this 'un. Top's money, his good looks, his sweet words, that's all it seems anybody pays attention to, but something underneath...anyway, his strategy's working, right up until the moment Mew runs into Boeing on his fucking doorstep.

🔻7. Mew (3)

I just thought if I became someone else, I'd be stronger.

Well the slut spiral was fun while it lasted, but I guess the morning after a coke bender is generally unpleasant and Mew's a paper tiger not a real G. Mew's trying to keep up the party boy persona but he's not built for this shit, his heart's not in it and Ray trying to literally get in his pants crashed him back to reality. He's totally going back to Top, Boeing or no Boeing.

⭐8. Mew's moms

I saw you on Mew's Instagram. You look better in person.

Oof. Look they're cute and they obviously love Mew, but their son is clearly uncomfortable and unhappy with Top around and they're ignoring that. They may not know what happened, but the room ain't THAT hard to read.

🔻9. Atom (1)

Did I just get nailed and bailed?

Atom tried dick exactly once and it's got him outside Boston's house in the middle of the night begging for more of the same. My bunny boiler hopes have fizzled for both Nick and Sand, maybe Atom is the one I've been waiting for.

🔹10. Yo (10)

Good can't buy love.

Mae Yo with the read this week: 'good can't buy love'. I really want Mom and Cool Stepdad back together. GO GET YOUR MAN YO!

🔻11. Daddy Dan (4)

I'm not going to be your boss tonight. Call me Daddy Dan.

The cringe is through the roof. Well he might get to sniff it but a sniff's all he's gonna get before Nick's back in Boston's bed, and that's just a matter of time at this point.

🔻12. Cheum (8)

The evil spirit left you already, huh?

Will Cheum ever learn to mind the business that pays her? Her lack of interest in her brother's clear and obvious heartbreak is contrasted unfavourably with her overinvestment and overinvolvement in the Mew/Top saga. I also somehow feel like last week's self-interested moment of solidarity with Boston won't survive contact with her brother getting exactly what he asked for and breaking his own heart with it.

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

alice on a wednesday

annie found alice to be impossibly glamorous. she was a woman in her mid-forties. an artist of some note (annie had googled) and a professor at a local university. she had a personality that was somehow both bubbly and cool. she had very good posture and was an engaged conversationalist. she often asked annie about herself as often as she talked about herself, and annie, bamboozled by her bright eyes and alien beauty, shared too much.

"how are you? how's ryan?" alice asked inquiring after annie's boyfriend.

"he's okay, i think?" annie said. "he seems really distracted with work lately."

"a.k.a. you're not fucking," alice said.

annie chuckled and tried to regain some professional composure. "it's okay. it's fine."

"annie, honestly, it's not," alice said. "you're a woman in your prime and he should be getting you off a few times a day, lest you seek pleasure elsewhere."

"i wouldn't do that," annie said.

"i would," alice said. "and i would not feel guilty."

annie had not been surprised to learn that alice had never managed to make a long term relationship work. but romance never much concerned her. alice's worries and annoyances fell into two categories:

her mother, a wild russian immigrant who was perpetually causing trouble and

her own neurological health

alice was a brain cancer survivor, and told annie when they met that in a sort of spiritual, kooky way, she believed maintenance of her mental health was key to staying in remission. annie said that medically, she couldn't really agree, but liked the notion of it.

a side effect of alice's brain surgery was that she'd lost the ability to raise the volume of her voice -- she spoke at just above a whisper. she mitigated this condition by using a wireless lapel microphone and a little box-sized amplifier she kept in her purse and set on the table in front of annie during their sessions. it lent her voice a lightly robotic quality that annie found oddly soothing.

she asked alice if she'd ever been unfaithful in a way that had hurt anyone.

"i don't think i hurt them in a way that was unfair," alice said. "sooner or later, the people who stay in my life as friends or fuck buddies or what have you learn to travel at my speed. and why shouldn't they? it's a fun speed."

"but early on, some hearts get a little bruised and beaten."

"yes," she admitted. "when i was 17 years old, i slept with my boyfriend's older sister, and i remember he was pretty mad about that," she said. "he beat the shit out of her."

"oh, fuck," annie said. she didn't swear around most of her patients but alice never clocked it.

"yeah, i got violent with him after that, clawed him up," she said, laughing. "i still keep in touch with the sister. they made up, it's all okay."

"i mean, is it?" annie asked.

"who knows," she said. "you have a brother, right?"

"yes," annie said, impressed at alice's recall.

"robbie," alice said. "i assume you have never competed with robbie over a woman."

annie laughed. "no. i mean, that must be very rare. unless you have more histories with siblings?"

alice grinned her catlike grin. "not negative stuff no, but I have in fact had sex with two sets of twins. two women, two men."

"yikes," annie said. "i mean, not to sound judge-y. i can't imagine having sex in front of robbie."

alice laughed. "i'm basically an only child, so i don't know. i think it's different with twins. they're copies of each other. and the women, like it or not but we live in a society that sexualizes female twins so by the time i met them they had a lot of experience with each other."

"huh," annie said.

"it's initially sort of gross but when you get down to it, i don't know," alice smiled. "kinda hot."

"what did you mean when you say you're basically an only child?"

"i never told you about amanda?"

"no," annie said, fairly confident. sometimes she forgot things her patients talked about, but not alice.

"when i was 15, my aunt killed herself," alice said.

"oh god," i said. "your mom's side?"

"no, my dad's sister-in-law," she said. "his brother's wife. and you know, that was crazy, so my uncle and his daughter who was 17, they came to live with us for a year. they moved from israel."

"that must have been a series of shocks for them," annie observed.

"yeah, i mean, my cousin amanda just did coke and fucked guys in my room, but it did feel like having a sister for a while."

"in your room?"

"yeah in my room, in my bed. i used to find like, thongs and condoms in my bed."

"i don't know what it's like to have a sister, either," annie said. "but i don't think it's like that."

annie went to ryan's apartment after work. he talked to her in an almost uninterrupted stream for an hour about things going on at work until, her relentless ability to pay attention nearly failing her, she stood in his kitchen and pulled her skirt and panties off. he stopped talking and stared at her exposed bush. "hey," he said.

"hey," annie said. "fuck me."

"ok," he said.

he took her over the sink, roughly, like animals, his fingers on her clit, his lips on her neck. he was a little soft at first, like he'd forgotten how to get hard in the two weeks or so since they'd last had a vanilla, post-date screw. but all annie had to do was get a little vocal. "i'm so fucking wet," she told him, and felt him stiffen right up.

they came at the same time, annie's contracting pussy pushing his cum out around the base of his shaft. she felt it between her thighs and heard it hitting the tile floor. as she pulled away and turned to kiss him she touched herself and brought her fingers to her lips. his eyes lit up. she had him back, at least for a while.

she spent the rest of the evening in a blouse and panties, sharing a joint with ryan, watching TV with him, and then mounting him again on his couch. she didn't take her panties off this time, just pulled them aside. sometimes uncomfortable, but very effective when one wanted to feel particularly slutty. she put her tits in his mouth, bounced to orgasm on his cock, and then sat on his thighs and stroked his cum out onto her bush. cleaning herself up in the bathroom she laughed imagining telling alice about it. she was sure she'd approve.

[tonyglowheart]

Thinking again (more, lmao) about The Contentious Chapter 45, and my Why It Needed to Happen thesis, so here are some more semi-organized thoughts on this topic:

Why It Needed to Happen: Yan Wushi edition. So, we don't ever really know what specifically Yan Wushi went through/experienced in his life and more specifically his childhood - we get hints here and there that seem to imply or can be interpreted to be that he's gone through some shit as Xie Ling, and that's (partly? mostly?) what led him to reinvent himself as Yan Wushi, and then there's also the New Years Extra that has a line about how he'd (already) witnessed countless evils borne of the human heart - but the text does tell us he has this belief that human nature is wicked, slash humans can be pushed to do wicked things no matter how "good" they may think themselves to be. As far as YWS knew by Chap 45, SQ was no different -- he'd received no proof yet that SQ was different, he just hadn't found SQ's bottom line. This is sort of similar to the abused child or abused dog thing, where they will lash out to try to provoke the abuse they're expecting either to "get it over with" or so they know where the line is with this new person (except these are purposeful tests that YWS is doing and not like a reactionary mechanism). Basically, this needed to happen for YWS to know/believe that Shen Qiao is different from what he's observed of human nature -- he needed this proof of concept that the world isn't just rival(/rival peers) -- the closest to equals he has, and rabble. This needed to happen to show/prove - to him and the reader - that there may be a thousand Chen Gong's in the world, but there is only one Shen Qiao.

Why It Needed to Happen: Shen Qiao edition. Shen Qiao is a good guy, but he WAS very sheltered and naive. He holds his beliefs firmly, but his worldly experience was limited and so his character was untried. It's the "it's easy to be a good person when you're rich" idea -- he doesn't know if he has a bottom line yet if he would snap. It's easy to say that you will stay true to your principles when they're not tested - it's when they're put under the stress test that you can truly say that you know yourself and your character. Yan Wushi threw him into a fire, yes, but in many ways this was a tempering of his character, much as one would temper steel. This whole experience very much was an absolute low for Shen Qiao, and it's easy to see fire (analogy) as only destructive, but fire can also be a creative force -- e.g. the forging/tempering analogy from earlier, fires used to clear out brush and weeds choking up the land so that new growth can germinate in the new fire-enriched soil, that kind of thing. This isn't to say that Shen Qiao doesn't experience agony in this metaphoric fire, but he also very much textually experiences a sort of epiphany and rebirth. This is both a spiritual (character-based) sort of rebirth, as well as a rebirth of his wugong. It's after this and after traveling with Yan Wushi that we see Shen Qiao exhibiting much more wisdom when it comes to people, where he's not just naively believing and expecting the good in everyone (I don't have specific citations but iirc this is textual, there's whole parts where it's like, before he might have thought x, but now having traveled with YWS he knows xyz, etc.) Yes this was "bad," maybe, but it tempered Shen Qiao, catalyzed his recovery/"rebirth," and overall led to the strengthening of his wugong and his character. (The conversation they have in Chapter 124 underscores this point, actually.)

Why It Needed to Happen: Yanshen edition. Or maybe more like, what does it do for us from a yanshen perspective lol. Cuz imo, it does a lot. I've posted about this elsewhere before lol, but like aside from the above for the YWS side of things, an argument can also be made that this was YWS going "wait. oh shit, I'm experiencing... feelings? for him" (narrator voice: that feeling was friendship, although he had never experienced it before) and like, lashing out at Shen Qiao like "that'll show you for thinking of me as a friend (and maybe making me feel friend-like feelings towards you..)" -- he was already softening before this (him digging that grave for the dead boy unasked, for example), and the way he's like. ....so you think of me as a... friend? before he pulls the rug from under SQ's feet. But this is important because it tells us that YWS *does* care. He's flippant and teasing and gives the impression that he does it for personal amusement and not really out of affection or anything, so really Shen Qiao may be his latest target of amusement, but it could be anyone. But the fact that he reacted like this to Shen Qiao declaring him a friend instead of just dismissing him as not being worthy of being his friend, not being on his level, etc (I mean he does also do that, but it's not the FIRST thing he does, and also I'd argue that when he Declared it contextually he was purposefully trying to hurt Shen Qiao's feelings), or like, just laughing at him and ridiculing SQ for something so preposterous -- this tells us that he IS feeling some kind of way about Shen Qiao already, that something HAS changed and Shen Qiao went from "latest disposable amusement" to at least "point of fascination." We're not in the endgame yet with this, but it does show that for all that Yan Wushi is trying to influence and "experiment" on Shen Qiao, traveling with Shen Qiao/being around him is conversely having an effect on him, too. That he's not just some unchangeable flat "evil" archetype but is also a complex character that responds to stimulus/reacts to his environment and is capable of being influenced by Shen Qiao. Theirs isn't just a one-sided relationship of one influencing the other or one trying to change the other-- it already by this point is a mutual communion between the opposing but complementary worldviews they hold and embody. They're already like if the taijitu were people (sans the dots in each section-- that comes through the course of the story with their mutual temperings). The same or similar actually holds for the SQ side of things too. Actually, the very fact that he feels anguish from this act and finds it a betrayal is also a very huge indication that Shen Qiao also already cares. I mean, yes, he declared YWS his friend, but like YWS said when they were burying the boy - you didn't even cry when your shidi Yu Ai betrayed you - or later when YWS was about to face Hulugu and SQ says if he were to do it, it would seem natural, but if a friend were to do it, he'd worry. and YWS is like, a friend? If LQY were to face Hulugu would you feel the same way? -- Basically, a similar idea holds here. Would you feel the same way if it were someone else? Yu Ai betrayed him, we didn't see him experience this level of individual, personal anguish. Chen Gong betrayed him, he just kind of sighed and moved on. But coming from Yan Wushi... he reflects on how much it hurt, actually. I still hold to my theory that SQ fell first and by this point was already at least kind of in love with YWS, but even that aside, the very fact that this "betrayal" hurt SQ shows that Shen Qiao, like Yan Wushi, despite seeming above worldly/petty matters slash is disconnected from such normal-people-problems like getting your feelings hurt or, godforbid, heartbreak -- are very much not above that, at least, not when it comes to each other. They're not just two ships passing each other in the night -- they're already mutually entangled together, and this growing bond will only grow stronger as they travel more together

[the-peak-tmnt]

Hey there! 👋 I just finished reading the latest chapter of Reciprocity and (hope I'm not bothering you) but I wanted to say all of this while it was still fresh in my mind!

Firstly: I love love LOVE how you lightly touched on Splinter and Raph's relationship pre-losing Leo before things got tense between them. It was just SUCH a nice breath of fresh air from how things currently are with them 😭 (hope they'll have that father & son relationship again someday).

Secondly: Love how you're giving us a glimpse into Leo's anxiety. As someone with crippling anxiety myself, I HEAVILY RELATE TO OUR BOY. And did he almost tell Raph about his spiritual connection!? (I forgot exactly what you called/described it as in your fic, but I noticed it!!)

Thirdly: Your overall world building and real-life references are always such a delight to read. You really make the story and characters FEEL believable, like the film was aiming to do! So reading about them receiving fan-mail and art from kids is SO SWEET.

I know this is already long (sorry); but there's one thing I'd like to ask. The part with the little girl wearing the armbrace and bandanna in Raph's colours WARMED MY HEART. So, this may be a silly question to ask, but will that girl ever make an appearance again?

I understand the point was so that Raph realized the importance of them being "heroes" and inspiring people. I just can't help but imagine a scenario where he randomly runs into her again after everything that's happened. (Not saying you have to put this in your story - pls don't do that omw this YOUR baby!!). It's just something I've been thinking about for HOURS - it really stuck with me.

Again, sorry this was quite long! 🙈 Keep up the great work, take your time, and stay amazing! ✨️

Ahhhhh you are SPOILING ME today! First the fan art on Twitter, now this wonderful comment 😭 And it's never a bother to hear from someone!!!

Firstly: I love love LOVE how you lightly touched on Splinter and Raph's relationship pre-losing Leo before things got tense between them.

Glad you liked that! I really wanted to give everyone a glimpse of "the good old days" (if only to make the current state of things even more painful lol)

Secondly: Love how you're giving us a glimpse into Leo's anxiety. As someone with crippling anxiety myself, I HEAVILY RELATE TO OUR BOY.

On the one hand, I am really sorry to hear that. But on the other, I'm glad that more than a few people have said the way the boys are written feels authentic and relatable. The things the boys are struggling with are delicate subjects, and I'm trying my best handle them appropriately and do them justice.

And did he almost tell Raph about his spiritual connection!? (I forgot exactly what you called/described it as in your fic, but I noticed it!!)

Leo was trying to tell Raph about it! At that point, everyone thinks Leo is just a really sensitive and empathetic guy. I don't want to give too much away, but at that point, Leo was beginning to realize that what he was feeling was something more than that. It's freaking him out though, and Raph was the only person he felt comfortable enough telling back then 😭

I haven't actually given it a "name" per se, because Raph still isn't really aware of it when he's awake. I've been using a few different words interchangeably like connection, bond, link, etc. As things progress and we learn more, my plan is to have one of the characters give it an "official" name.

Thirdly: Your overall world building and real-life references are always such a delight to read. You really make the story and characters FEEL believable, like the film was aiming to do! So reading about them receiving fan-mail and art from kids is SO SWEET.

THANK YOU! I just really really love world building, and I especially love the world building of Mutant Mayhem. It feels real and believable. Its just really fun to sit here and think about how this would play out in the real world (even the boring and logistical parts like having to go to the post office or how they're able to pay for things lol).

I know this is already long (sorry); but there's one thing I'd like to ask. The part with the little girl wearing the armbrace and bandanna in Raph's colours WARMED MY HEART. So, this may be a silly question to ask, but will that girl ever make an appearance again?

akjshfgaksdfhdsaf I can't tell you but...!!!! Sort of! Kind of! Not her specifically, but there will be another Raph and "little kid looking up to him as a hero" moment that's very important and a huge turning point in the whole story and it is taking EVERYTHING I have not to give too much away!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T I WRITE FASTER?!?!

Thanks again so much, I love comments and asks!

[redditreceipts]

i hope that whatever you write on here makes your life easier in some way. i don't know how, i just hope it does some good to someone somewhere. a lot of people are struggling right now, a lot of people are angry, and i know you're trying your best to make the world a better, safer place

it's strange how much kinship i feel with GCs on here. you're all screaming for safety, support for the next generation, an end to the oppression, an end to the patriarchy

we might be fighting on opposite sides- we've probably both seen some very different, very hard things. we've both a lot to the ways we have to live. i wish we could get along. i wish it didn't have to be this way

i won't argue that i'm a man despite my biology- not here anyway, there's no point, it won't achieve anything- but i hope you can find more friends like me and understand us better. we're not liars. we don't want to cause danger. i would beg you to listen to us but i understand that you can't.

i understand that you only hate trans women because a lot of men are total pieces of shit and don't care about anyone else. there's no point telling you that most trans women aren't bad. they're not good either. people just do what they do, both good and bad. nobody's perfect, and there are bad people in every area of society. Not all women are good. Goodness and womanhood are two different things.

i hope that your life gets better, and that your world gets bigger, and friendlier, and easier to be in.

-a trans brother

Hey :) thanks for the kind words, but don't you see how you sound kinda like one of these performatively compassionate preachers talking to atheists? something like "hey. I know that you've had it hard. Now it's difficult for you to let Jesus into your heart. You've turned your back to God because people have hurt you. I understand that. But some day, I hope, you will return to Him, because He has nothing but love for you."

And I also don't know where you get the notion that I don't have any trans friends or that I don't know trans people. I interact with trans people about four times a week. Half of the women I've dated have identified as something other than women. I also use preferred pronouns, as long as the person in question is not a total piece of shit.

It would actually kinda funny if we knew each other in real life, and you think that I'm some kind of super progressive person lmao.

And also, why do you think that saying that manhood or womanhood isn't determined by some nebulous non-falsifiable spiritual bullshit means that I hate trans women? Or that I think that all trans women are bad? Or that all biological females are good? I've literally never said that I think that all trans women are bad people. I just say that they are not women.

I also don't know where you get the notion that I think that trans people are lying. I actually think that the majority of trans-identified people actually believe that they are literally the opposite sex, just as the majority of catholics believe that they are literally recieving the body and the blood of Christ in their sermons. The only problem arises when people start to push their beliefs onto others. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, but nobody is entitled to affirmation from the world around them.

[nerdygaymormon]

so you're staying you stay in church out of fear?

Why someone stays or leaves can be complex, that is true for me.

The person who asked that question wanted to know why I didn't leave the church when I figured out I am gay. I was a teenager in the 1980's, so yes, I stayed in the closet and at church, at least partly, out of fear. Same for my twenties when I lived in LDS communities.

I was dependent on my family as a teen. I didn't want to lose the tuition and credits I'd paid for at the church schools. I didn't want to lose my job. Being gay felt like having a secret which would destroy everything in my life if other people discovered it.

Being Mormon was part of my identity and how I viewed the world. I didn't hear positive things about queer people or have any examples of gay people who had positively navigated life.

You may think of me as a coward and that I should've been braver. Maybe so, but it was my life and I did what seemed best for me according to my understandings at the time.

Let me share a story with you. My freshman year of college, I had a roommate who became my best friend. At the end of the semester he came out to me as bi, and I to him as gay, and for a little while we were boyfriend and boyfriend. I was making plans for that summer, We would transfer to another school, I would say goodbye to my family, and we'd walk away from the LDS Church. I was willing to give up the certainty of the life I had for this shot at happiness. He felt too much dissonance from his Mormon upbringing and he turned us into the bishop, which crushed me. I was put on probation and had to check in weekly with the bishop for a few months or else get kicked out of college, get outed to my family, and lose everything without anything to show for it. I share this to show that I was willing to give up everything I knew if it looked like there was a reason to do so.

There's positive benefits to being a member of this faith community, there are spiritual experiences I've had which are important to me, but don't think that because I am currently a member of the LDS Church means I agree with everything the church teaches. There's things I can't reconcile between my identities of being gay and being Mormon, and I now understand the harm that happened to me from when I believed the hurtful things church taught about people like me.

I get why people keep asking me some form of the question about why I'm a gay Mormon, it seems like an oxymoron and is not the usual path. It feels vulnerable to be open in sharing these very personal thoughts and feelings, and I share in hopes it creates greater understanding.

[wizwon]

THE DREAMWALKER part 1 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ pjs x reader

GENRE! fantasy

WORDCOUNT! 0.896k words

PAIRINGS! dreamwalker!jay x reader

WARNINGS! none- i think. not proofread. lmk if there's any T^T

NOTE! i also used a prompt generator for this one lmao

Growing up, there was a knock on the door every year at midnight on your birthday. With everyone sound asleep, you would always go and check who's there, only to be met with nothing. On your 20th birthday, the knock happens as usual, but this time someone is standing in front of you. It is the handsome man from your nightmare last night—a person who wielded powerful magic and saved you from a dark being during your dream. You hope that your dream was not a premonition.

You open the door to find the handsome man from your nightmare standing right in front of your eyes. He looks just as you remember him — powerful and mysterious, with a calm and confident demeanor. You're not sure how to react to the man in your doorway, but you're certainly surprised and intrigued.

"I've come to warn you," the stranger says, his voice a melodic baritone. "I know that you saw me in your dreams last night, and I'm here to tell you that it was no ordinary dream, but a premonition of things to come."

"I can sense the potent magic from the nightmare you endured", the mysterious man continues. "It was a warning, meant to prepare you for the difficult journey that lies ahead. And I have come to help you face this challenge."

As he tells you this, you feel both intrigued and scared. You're intrigued by the power and mystery surrounding this new man, but you're also scared of what might be coming.

"Will you seek my help in facing this threat?" the man asks. "Or will you continue to walk this path alone?"

"what's your name"

"My name is Jay," the mysterious man said. "But you may refer to me as the Dreamwalker."

You were unsure of what to make of this information, but you couldn't help but feel a bit intrigued by Jay's name and title. The Dreamwalker... it sounded like something out of a fairytale.

"What do you mean, my dream was no ordinary dream?" you asked, trying to gather yourself. "What was it, then?"

"The spirit world and the physical world are separated by a thin veil of reality," Jay explained. "And from time to time, there are tears in that veil, allowing passage between the two worlds."

You nodded, trying to take in what he was saying.

"And how does this relate to my dream?" you asked.

"Dreams exist on the other side of that veil," the Dreamwalker continued. "When you sleep, your mind taps into the spiritual realms and brings back images of what is happening there. And last night, you saw a vision of a danger to come."

You listened intently as Jay explained the connection between your dream and the spirit world, feeling a deep sense of chills throughout your body. Could he be right? Had your dream really been a vision of things to come?

"What kind of danger was it?" you asked, your voice quivering slightly.

Jay was silent for a moment, his eyes scanning you with curiosity.

"A creature with dangerous magic," he said finally. "A being of great power and darkness, intent on causing harm."

You felt the hair on the back of your neck stand up. A magical creature with dangerous powers... it sounded like something straight out of a fantasy story. And yet you couldn't help but feel a sense of anxiety creeping in. Maybe Jay was right...

"It's... it's not coming for me, is it?" you asked, your voice trembling.

Jay looked at you with a somber exprssion.

"Unfortunately, it is," he said gently. "You have been chosen for a special purpose, and your life is in danger now."

You felt your breath escape your lips in a sharp gasp of fear, and you could feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins. Your life was in danger? You couldn't believe it. Why you? What was so special about you that a magical creature with dangerous powers wanted you out of the way?

"I... I d-don't understand," you stuttered out. "Why is this happening to me?"

Jay looked at you with sympathy in his eyes.

"I can't answer that," he replied. "But you must be brave, and you must be prepared."

Your mind swirled with questions and fears, yet you knew that you had to listen to the Dreamwalker's advice. If your life was really in danger, then you had to do whatever it took to protect yourself.

"How... how can I be prepared?" you asked, your voice still trembling. "I need to know more!"

Jay thought for a moment, then spoke softly.

"The one who wields magic has great power," he said. "And if you're going to fight this dangerous being, you'll need to harness the magic within yourself."

You felt your heart sink at his words, knowing how risky it would be to venture into the world of magic and try to face the powerful being that Jay had warned you about. Yet you also felt excited at the thought of exploring the world of magic and discovering your true potential.

"How do I do that?" you asked, trying to sound brave despite your inner fears. "How do I become a mage?"

Before Jay could respond, you heard a loud knock at the door. Was it someone else sent to warn you about the dangers to come?