#i'm not even talking dates or stills
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you know imo if ntflx was smart they would release teeny tiny crumbs from season 3 like once a month or something bc we would talk about that crumb literally until the next crumb dropped. not that they need marketing assistance, but we're so fuckin feral we'd keep it trending for so long
#bridgerton#polin#i'm not even talking dates or stills#i'm talking a zoomed in detail on pen's dress or hair#or the pattern on colin's waistcoat#or flowers at one of the parties they attend#just giving us little things would literally make us rabid little beasts#trash talk
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the world is so fucked up and i can't help but think the damage is irreparable when i see people talking about how unusual and prudish it is to wait six to ten dates before having sex with someone. ten dates??? roughly like twenty five hours of interaction????? ten old timer burgers and mango iced teas from chilis equals sex?????? the possibility of pregnancy, STDs, emotional devastation, lifelong consequences, not to mention just straight up the possibility of getting murdered, with a STRANGER you have hung out with for maybe like two months???? and that's a LONG TIME???? and if you feel weird about that and don't want to do that that makes you NOT HETEROSEXUAL????? THATS AN ORIENTATION???? BECAUSE ITS SO OUTSIDE OF THE NORM OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR ????? i hate all of you i hate you i hate you i hate you every day i hate and I hate and I hate you
#i genuinely genuinely don't understand how everybody who tries to date hasn't killed themselves yet#I'm not saying they should I'm just saying I don't get how they're able to continue on#i see women on social media talking about how they had to cry for a day because they slept with a man they'd been seeing for a while and#then he never called again#no joke not trying to be dramatic I would just kill myself??? i do not understand how people can keep going after something like that#i mean I would never be in that situation because everything about it is bad but like. still#I hate to kind of agree with the 'women over 25 are too bitter for love' twitter man even in a very roundabout way#but i think men AND women participating in modern dating culture have to in some way become so hardened and kill some part of themself#just to survive??? that sounds so melodramatic but like. I can't understand how else people could continue to function as human beings#when they interact with each other in the way modern dating culture dictates
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Fun fact: In Barbatos's intimacy storyline in Nightbringer he ends up living with Solomon and MC at Cocytus Hall temporarily. Here's a highlight from his 40 intimacy call:
The way he makes Solomon sit in the corner. 😭 You cannot convince me he didn't raise this man.
#+ the tonal shift when he started talking to mc again made me laugh ngl#i'm already spoiled for these calls but there's no substitution for the voice work#but yeah uhh spoilers in all of nb's intimacy calls they basically end up in a committed relationship w mc#i gotta step it up with farming so i can be annoying about it. barbatos's phone calls are SO good tbh#though now that mc and solomon aren't living at cocytus hall i question them making it so theyre living there even up to 100 intimacy?#i know whales are probably much speedier but its still a bit weird considering the devs#still won't let mc and barbatos's relationship progress in the main story practically at all in comparison to the phone calls#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me nightbringer#obey me#obey me shall we date#barbatos obey me#barbatos#solomon#also man i wish they'd spent some of this budget on routes instead considering how long it will be for anyone to really see these calls
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"Auggie, how do you get stitched up and refreshed?"
"I am going to go over to Arlo’s house."
#critical role#candela obscura#ygifs#arlo x auggie#no but they literally are insane for this .....................#arlo: i'm even less able to talk to people now.. | also arlo: auggie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#he literally could've asked her out and she wouldve said yes right there she literally said of course auggie and after we're going on a date#suit shopping montage of auggie just mumbling how the dagnabbit and arlo straightening his collar for him and he's not BLUSHING#ep3 starts and arlo's like no we've literally been dating for months now and auggie still has no idea he keeps calling me ma'am#charlotte's like so I hear you're in a relationship with ms. black and auggie is like you mean the pact?? ? and she stares at the camera#arlo gets this little lapel pin for his new suit and howard takes 1 look at it like.. so.. auggie.. and auggie's like don't I look spiffy!#if his suit ends up being purple I'm eating a bar of soap#everytime arlo unnecessarily uses auggie's name a little synapse in my head zaps
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honestly one of my wishes for Rebirth is that Barret's date is taken a bit more seriously
like i know the scene in the OG is very funny and iconic with Cloud going "hoo boy" and all that but i wish they'd take this opportunity to open up to each other a little. i hope they have a more meaningful/mature conversation this time around even if they still add the comedy bit
#barret's resolution scene in remake part 1 was okay but they still talked about tifa more#and like i love cloti but barret is an option for a reason even if it was more meant as a 'joke' originally#i'm not even asking them to make it romantic i just want the date to be more significative for their relationship#barret#my post
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"We get to, this season, explore their chemistry and their real love and their intimacy. So we get to have a glimpse into that world that just feels so pure and beautiful and romantic! And then, sort of navigating those other circumstances once they're out in the world, dealing with real... challenges." - Isa in an interview with The Knockturnal(x)
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#maria olivares#rhett abbott#isabel arraiza#lewis pullman#rhett x maria#i know the last gif is blurry but trust me she was holding his arm and i just thought that was adorable#i might add a lew quote if he ever gets asked about outer range s2 in an interview smh(i'm begging someone to ask him more about it!)...#she is always going to pull him in for a kiss like how she pulled him in for a small peck in s1#the biggest fucking grin on her face whenever they kiss#i feel like i could hear an ''i love you'' sometimes with how they just look at each other? crazy#her smile and him smiling back at her before the forehead kiss is EVERYTHING to me#also her little smile as he kisses the side of her head like she knows he's doing his best and doesn't really blame him for anything? uGH#there was an article that said that maria and rhett may screw royal over? i say they should go for it!#truly if it gives isa and lew more screen time i'm all for it!#i say all this but i still want a spin-off of them just on a roadtrip#i am convinced that he kisses her just because he thinks she's being really cute#they're so annoying... y'all haven't even been dating that long and you're acting like this!! smh /j#i kinda had a feeling that was maria in the trailer doing something to rhett in the trailer(iykyk) and my heart still fell into my stomach#i'm not including any dream/nightmare sequences because as far as we know they can't see the future... right?#do i sound stupid and biased? maybe... please don't judge me#she's hungry but her heart aches to stay... will the flesh have its way in s3? will she be ... ''already gone'' a la eurydice in hadestown?#tw: food?#will forever be sad they didn't get a dance :(#honestly whenever i think of their flirty banter i will think of lew talking about the flirt to roast ratio
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Yes he's a rude piece of shit but now he's my rude piece of shit
#coral island#coral island mark#I'm still married to Raf on my main save but i got the bug that makes the islanders not talk to me#so i started a new save while i wait for that to get fixed and now I'm just whoring all around the island#i have like 8 characters on my I want to date them list lets see how many I can give the locket to before the bug gets fixed#me in a week showing up with my bisexual harem: what up bois#tbh even during this second save im like 😊 about everyone else and then raf shows up and im all 😍🥰🥵👀🫦#but i wanna see other ppls romantic heart events#so whoring it is
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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overhearing the students i was helping in class today say "she's so sweet!" as they leave and then the professor coming up to ask me if i'm going into education because he thinks i'm really good at teaching
#part of my job is attending class days for the course i'm tutoring for even though i've already taken it#so students get used to having me around and i'm up-to-date on where exactly they are in the material and can make announcements and stuff#most days are just kind of whatever since i still have all my notes from doing this last semester for the same course#and it's not a very interactive style course so i don't get to talk to students a whole lot#but today was just sort of a free period for them to go over their study guides#and so the professor had me roam around and help people as needed#and it was really fun!#this semester students have been very reluctant to actually come to tutoring/review sessions outside of last minute exam prep ones#so it was nice to actually get to feel useful again#assorted work nonsense
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The furry lesbians are taking out the horrible lick man I am so happy
#one piece#they were having such a lesbian moment beforehand that still somehow failed to pass the bechdel test as a convo#cause they were talking abt a man for like the entirety of it and I'm like oda goddammit aaaahh#I guess we at least appreciate the consistency seeing as both of them individually have history w nami#cause even in one piece all the sapphics date each other
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"is shii or kei the one getting cucked?" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
#edit: whoops i meant to save this as a draft#low-effort shitpost night it is#i have seen people talking about this (not in these exact words) on JP twitter though#on the one hand: you could def read yuu/shii as romantic#which is a little awkward because kei is still technically around and seems to be keeping tabs on yuu#and like... she and yuu essentially promised to meet again in every lifetime#so while kei is physically dead and yuu Could date someone else-- would that count as cheating given their prior commitment?#on the other hand: despite how clingy and affectionate yuu is with shii#yuu is still totally smitten with kei even if she can't remember who kei is anymore#(copying kei's speech mannerisms; going by kei's old nickname for her; remembering that there's A Certain Scent she adores (kei's))#(... and there's that one homescreen line yuu has about getting the shivers over pretty necks.)#shii was NOT happy when nagisa tried to remind yuu about kei either#which i'm sure was because she was scared that yuu would abandon her if she remembered her past but still#all in all i can see how people are reading this as an unfortunate accidental love triangle lmao#magia record
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a truly terrible idea has latched hold of my gremlin brain which is, buck and tommy do break up so that buck can pursue eddie because either tommy thinks buck is in love with eddie or buck feels like he should be with eddie because everyone else keeps suggesting there's something more there BUT buck/eddie getting together changes their dynamic so much that neither of them are enjoying themselves (and they're worrying about losing what made their friendship so special because of all the changes to the dynamic) AND buck and tommy keep hooking up [air quotes] platonically (with tommy stumbling into inconvenient feelings and pining pathetically for buck while fucking him) while buck struggles to sort out intense feelings toward eddie (which obviously have to be romantic of course) vs. his calm, more settled feelings toward tommy (they're not as intense as his feelings about eddie so they can't possibly be romantic) blah blah long story slightly less long but buck realizes he's been in love with tommy the whole time and was having trouble separating strong but platonic feelings for eddie from his romantic feelings toward tommy and then tommy's like "newsflash asshole i've been in love with you the whole goddamn time"
i'll never write it because it's irredeemably stupid and i value my peace but it IS sitting in my hindbrain tormenting me right now
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#i'm not tagging this bc i don't want it showing up in any show or ship tags but...............................#terrible evil plotbunny free to a good home#nobody ever writes about the friends who get together bc 'why not everyone else already thinks we're dating' and then it doesn't work out#because the dynamic changes SO MUCH that you're not sure if it was such a good idea in the first place#now add a third person to the mix that you like but aren't sure how you feel about them#not sure if eddie would be aware it's casual and non exclusive or if there'd be miscommunication leading to angst#honestly this is just me venting my frustrations with those breakup fics masqueraring as b*cktommy that have tommy#graciously sacrificing himself on the altar of b*ddie's true love and stepping aside magnanimously#that's not interesting to me to read even as a b*ddie shipper#if buck and tommy have to break up let it be real and messy because real people are real and messy#let tommy fight for buck even if it doesn't end up working out#let buck and eddie feel guilty because buck did genuinely care about tommy and eddie does like him as a friend#let tommy cut both of them off because even though he likes both of them he still has feelings and it hurts seeing them together#let tommy be petty about showing off a new love interest or fwb and how much happier he is with this guy than he was with buck#let buck wonder if he made the right choice or not bc he didn't ever want to hurt tommy#he only convinced himself tommy would be completely fine with the breakup because he needed him to be fine so that he could do it guilt fre#let eddie wonder if they made the right choice or not bc while he finally has what he's wanted for years it did hurt someone he really like#maybe it'll all work out in the end for buck and eddie AND tommy but i just want it to feel real and not overly polished and sanitized#and no one is hurt or upset or petty or flawed#anyway#i like mess#don't @ me#i might have to write this now but i don't want to be chased off with pitchforks and torches#text#shut up giallos
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The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah
#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now)#anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back#and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck#she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me#BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad#i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa#anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since#the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too?#in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem#they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt#recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times#and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so#what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything.#anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was-#”well it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to people”#and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group-#-and they never informed me so. thank you?#and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw#and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation.#she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason#ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care-#-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends#so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much#rant#vent#?#woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all#I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now
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#So............... No Akutagawa#Little more to add. I can't wait to see where Dostoyevsky's backstory is going but there's still little to comment on#When they mentioned Rome I was like 👀👀👀👀👀#Time for my greatest fear to become reality? (Twinkified anime character Dante Alighieri)#I used to think “oh no I don't want Dostoyevsky to be immortal because then I won't be able to ship fyo/zai :((( ”#But now that it happened I'm very indifferent to it lol like.#Dating an immortal human (?) being won't make it even to the top ten weirdest things Dazai has done#It's interesting to see Dostoyevsky had a previous contact with Bram. I wouldn't have imagined they knew each other before.#And then they met again and Bram is a popsicle. Ahah. Dostoyevsky must have been like. Serves you right.#What else. The whole Fukuchi deal is... Eh#Teruko's whole role in this chapter is something of the most sexist thing the author could muster#But like. Okay. We are not talking about this I guess#random rambles
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just got a biopsy to see if my [checks notes] 15-week period is because of cancer. however then my friends drove me to get chocolate and the new martha wells novel so, you know, there are pros and cons here.
#the epic highs and lows of having a uterus#highs: people buy you chocolate!!#lows: all the other stuff :(#anyway i am. a lil stressed out lol#also pretty lightheaded! i'm not really even sure why because ok so yeah i was already anemic from the 15 weeks of bleeding#plus i was anemic before that also#plus there was a lot of blood during the biopsy. but i feel like that blood was just the stuff in my uterus that'd be coming out anyway#as opposed to new blood from within my veins or something#and i'm still sick lolllll#so it's a fun time. BUT! martha wells novel! and i lent all systems red to a friend who will hopefully become obsessed with murderbot#and talk to me about it constantly! (<-my endgame at all times)#it's so funny every time i've been to the doctor they're like 'date of your last period?' and i'm like april 9th. and it is ongoing.#and then we just 😬 at each other#anyway cross your fingers for me. apparently if the biopsy comes back negative they don't have other ideas for what could be going on#not sure how to feel about that. obviously i don't want to have cancer but it's very stressful not knowing what is going on#do i just bleed forever indefinitely??? i'll be real with you lads that doesn't seem great :/#she was like next step would be to put in a hormonal iud and i was like that is absolutely not an option that i will consider#i would sooner get a hysterectomy#so idk maybe i will get a hysterectomy! biopsy results in a week. okay. ending the tags now#if anybody wants me to trigger tag for cancer mentions let me know and i can definitely do that going forward <3
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random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently
#mar.txt#it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one#maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get#maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important.#maybe it's just the all-consuming，gaping hole of loneliness within me#idk.#i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it#feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction#a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro，but willing to be in a relationship provided the other#person isn't bothered by them being aro，bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings#i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the#only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of#actually caring#'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things#because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they#could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting)#and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends#the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to#me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance#i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad.#to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much.#i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's#most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love，yeah? ha.#maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships，#those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have.#anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the#burden of feeling such intense，suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly.#i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.
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