#i'm sorry for the tags pls let me know if you'd like me to stop or continue i promise i won't spam you

[felibrary]

╭──╯ POUR THE ALCOHOL HEART OUT !

PAIRING: aventurine x reader

SYNOPSIS: they say love comes when you least expect it — does that also apply to former romantic relationships?; alternatively: in which a drunk aventurine gets dumped onto you by his colleagues for you to take care of. 

wordcount: 4.3k (IM CRYING WHAT THE HELL) | content & warnings: consumption of alcohol/drunk aventurine, unestablished relationship (exes), angst if you squint, topaz is referred to here by jelena (her real name), reader is mentioned to wear jewelry, hints/implications of starvation/ed (?)- not eating, insecure!aventurine, kind of rushed and open ending - interpret it however you'd like :-) ; oneshot

tags: @azullumi (hi pookiemon who def wont read this also its 4:20 rn and I'm writing ur note before my synopsis. send help pls)

AUTHORS NOTE: someone praise me for the creative title :p and sorry that this took so long i'm currently experiencing writers block or whatever also just because this is long doesn't mean its good - don't get your hopes up too high 😭 if i said id like this, id be lying. but still that doesn't change the fact that id be crying if this flops..like all of my other recent works..

ding, ding, ding

the shrieking noise of your doorbell invades your ears, ringing continuously. it's annoying — unbearable even, and to worsen things you've been stuck in this predicament for the past 2 minutes now. 

with your head buried in between your fuzzy cushions, you try to drown out the noise thus completely ignoring the way your phone buzzes on the nightstand next to you. 

hopefully, your neighbors won't file a complaint about loud noise against you, but that's a problem for tomorrow. right now you're faced with a worse matter: making those who interrupted your sleep leave. 

do these people not know what a peaceful slumber is? (apparently not when they have the time to pay you a visit during this time.) 

almost as if your prayers were heard, the noise dies down and you sigh in relief. lazily you shift around in your bedsheets to be in a more comfortable position, nuzzling your head into the cool pillows once more.

but just when you think that the people have finally left, the agitating noise starts once again, and you have to stop yourself from letting out an irritated groan.

slowly you roll yourself out of the comfort of your bed. now sitting on the edge of your bed you’re contemplating; dwelling if you should really stand up now and open the door. 

it could be a bunch of strangers, and who knows which danger will encounter you.

you let out a defeated sigh. whatever it may be, it can't be that bad. turning sideways you try to search for your phone, and upon finding it your lips curl up into a small triumphant smile.

your fingers hover over the buttons on the side before pressing a finger onto the power button. upon seeing the bright light you blink a bunch of times, lashes pressing against each other in a repetitive motion to get used to the light first.

(2) missed calls by an unknown caller ID +xxxxxx: mx. [name] please be so kind as to open the door. thank you.  +xxxxxx: it’s urgent, please.  +xxxxxx: would you be so kind as to do us this favor, for his and our sake? 

a bunch of notifications light up on your screen but you decide to ignore them. instead, you use your phone as a flashlight to guide you through the dark of your apartment. 

who in the right mind decides to ring your doorbell at this time? and who in the right mind chooses to open the door despite the possible dangers? (you.)

despite the door serving as a separation between your apartment and the hallway, you can clearly hear two people bickering outside your apartment door.

“..ritas, hold him tighter. you're letting him fall,” the voice belongs to a woman, and she seems to be concerned about someone, that's the most you can tell.

“i am not. it's not that dark to tell that that is clearly your arm which is slipping from his body,” this time a man speaks up. his voice is hoarse and stern as he corrects the woman. 

well, this is going to be fun. you take a deep breath before opening the door, let's just hope for the best.

as you open the door, you're met with two unfamiliar faces. 

amidst the dimly lit hallway stands a woman with white hair and a red streak on her bangs. her eyes look like shards of crystals that have been puzzled together, simply magnificent. 

next to her stands a tall man, his golden eyes are hidden beneath his dark bangs which stick to his forehead, nevertheless, the warm light that radiates from the pair of honey-colored eyes shines through the depths of the night.

and squished in between them is someone else. hanging from above the ceiling there are a few lamps that adorn the hallway. the warm light that they shed lands upon the back of the person's head making their golden hair look like a shiny coin that swims amidst the ocean.

from the clothes and their silhouette, you'd figure that they're a man, however, you can't be sure due to their face being hidden.

so many questions race through your mind, who are these people? do they know what time it is? and what are they doing in front of your door? 

but the only thing you can utter at this moment is a curt and groggy: “sorry, how can i help you?”

an apologetic smile finds its way onto the woman's lips, and this time you're able to take a proper look at her. 

there are dark circles surrounding her colourful eyes and you can only wonder why she's up so late when instead she should be getting well-deserved sleep.

“apologies, how rude of us to not introduce ourselves. you can call me to- jelena. and next to me is doctor veritas ratio,” 

the man she tilts her head towards only nods in acknowledgment which you can only return. “well, it's nice to meet you, jelena and veritas. is there something you need from me?”

both names feel familiar to your ears as if you've heard them once or twice before, although you're not sure where you've heard them.

“and, that in the middle might be who?” your eyes drift over the person whose arms are draped around the backs of topaz and veritas.

“that's exactly why we're here,” hearing veritas’ voice makes you look up in surprise. “we're aventurine’s colleagues and we brought him here for you to take care of him,”

this has to be some sort of dream if not a nightmare at worst.

you're completely awake now, with furrowed eyebrows and an awkward smile on your lips you stare at the person — well aventurine as you now know, in utter disbelief. 

the only thing you're able to choke out at this very moment is a strained. “i’m sorry?” 

“you've heard me the first time, i don't like repeating myself — you're supposed to take care of that guy of a nuisance here.” veritas nudges aventurine’s shoulder to make his point clear. 

your ex and his colleagues standing in front of your door at maybe like two am in the morning had to be some sort of torture-like fever dream. 

“no, with all due respect: no.” you quickly mutter with gritted teeth before trying to slam the door shut as soon as possible. 

jelena, on the other hand, doesn't seem to be a fan of your idea and quickly puts her foot into the space between your door and the hallway as a way to stop you from closing the door.

“i..” she starts, but you notice the heavy side-eye she receives from veritas that makes it known that she's not the only one who's tired of aventurine and his shenanigans, and thus makes jelena quickly correct herself. 

“well, we know that it's unbelievable — unbelievably stupid if you might even say so, but hear us out okay?” she pleads.

she's making it hard for you to say no, so the only thing you can do is lean against your doorframe and listen to her. 

(what other choice do you even have when veritas is shooting burning stares right through you.)

jelena sighs embarrassedly. “aventurine invited us out to drink today, i’ve — no, we have found it suspicious and weird right off the bat, but he insisted and the tab was on him so it would've been rude not to go.” 

“well, our instincts were right because he kept mourning and babbling our ears off about how he'd be drinking this glass of wine with you on your guys' anniversary today instead of this bar,” jelena begins before taking a small pause as if contemplating what to tell you next.

her eyes take the shape of crescent moons and she proceeds to press her lips into a strained smile before continuing. “it was kinda endearing to watch at the beginning but over time it became unbearable,” she murmured more to herself than to you.

you can only try to imagine the scene. aventurine with red-tinted ears and a flushed face babbling about how he misses you. 

great, how dreamy.

veritas coughs to bring the attention to him, snapping you out of your thoughts “well, after that he fell flat onto the counter and we thought that he had suddenly fainted,” he adds. “until he then started whining about how he wanted to go home. so here we are.” 

now you're just confused. now, why is he here again?

“how does home refer to my place now? his place is or at least was much bigger than mine,” you scoff skeptically before realizing that that have might come over as rude. “sorry, i’m just confused and don't see any connections here. also, how'd you know where i live oh, and my number?”

jelena mutters out a small it's fine and veritas only sighs. “so you see, we tried to drive him back to his place but when we arrived he started complaining that he wants to go home — you.” 

“he started pulling out his phone and set your address on the GPS before demanding or well ordering us to drive him to your place,” he lets out an exasperated sigh upon explaining. 

“as for your number, due to his phone still being on we went through his contact list and found you right on top — saved at his emergency contact. endearing, really, ” veritas remarks sarcastically.

you're surprised — pleasantly surprised. aventurine still thinks of you? 

“correction: i was the one who drove.” jelena suddenly objected as she threw veritas a heavy side-eye.

“yes, but it's still us — we were the ones who brought him here and drove together to this place despite you being behind the wheel,  jelena,” veritas scoffs. 

“in whose car did he purge into? correct, mine. my whole car reeks of vomit now,” jelena shudders upon remembering the sight of aventurine throwing up. 

“well yes but that doesn't change the fact tha-” veritas isn't able to finish his sentence, you stop him from doing so. interrupting his complaint with one of your own.

“okay, if bickering is the only thing the both of you came here for, i don't wanna hear it. i’ll take him in, but just for tonight, is that clear?” your offer is simple. you take care of aventurine and they stop their banter so you can continue sleeping. 

it honestly benefits them more than it benefits you. 

“a nice compromise which went easier than i thought.” jelena’s face lightens up with a triumphant smile. “we'll leave him in your care then.” 

they dump aventurine onto you and he slightly topples before landing in your arms, head buried in the crook of your neck and arms tangled over your shoulders.

his warm breath fans over your neck and the close proximity makes you stiffen in place. it's not like you haven't felt this sensation before, but this time it's under different circumstances.

it's not the same as back then.

as soon as they leave aventurine in your care they bid their goodbye and leave. 

aventurine’s flushed cheeks gleam pink in the warm light, his breath tickles the exposed skin on your collarbone which almost makes you drop him.

but your arms cling onto him. grip firm and steady as you claw your hands over his clothed back, steadily holding onto him as if scared that once you lose hold of him, he'll slip out of your grasp (once more.) 

anxiety cowers at you like a child who's lost their parents and is helplessly seeking for them in a crowd of people. 

hand scarily empty as its eyes sway through the sea of people, blurred faces who will never hold one’s hand like your parents once did.

despite meeting several people who could hold your hand, whisper sweet nothings into your ear — love you; teach you what love is.

his hand is the only one you'd wrap yours around, no matter the stains and scars it leaves.

you continue to cling to him — you always did. 

well, this is certainly going to be a fun night to remember.

———————

golden rays of sunshine that beam with warmth seep through the curtains and proceed to bathe aventurine’s lying figure in the warm essence.  

the sensation tickles his skin and he lets out a muffled groan, shutting his eyes several times before eventually indulging in the morning tenderness. slowly (and after many attempts) his lilac eyes are used to the brightness. 

he’d be lying if he said that being engulfed in the luminous light wasn’t overwhelming — especially as someone who’s gotten it taken away early on and has only later been introduced to it once again. 

(although the sparkle that once resided in his eyes was long gone, there was no longer a child whose eyes once glimmered in joy upon being caressed by the sunlight.)   

being embraced by the warmth and its radiating light, he can’t help but feel like a trapped and helpless stage actor. one who despite fleeing and running away, continuously gets followed by the spotlight, thus standing in the limelight and having to perform a show for the people who are seated together in the rows below.

regardless of the people watching him, applauding for him, praising him, he feels utterly empty — empty and alone. 

although there were people to assist him on stage, co-workers around him who offered help which he reluctantly also somewhat relived accepted.

the emptiness that houses within him remains.

(perhaps he has become so accustomed to the feeling of being alone that it has been a while since he’s ever felt lonely.)

as soon as his eyes have adjusted to the brightness of his surroundings, they widen in shock. 

this surely must be a dream, right? he promised himself that he’d never return to this place despite longing to see it you again.

his eyes quickly flicker around the room in confusion. how’d he get here? this wasn’t his room or well it technically was. it’s the room he once shared with you.

it’s no wonder he’s slept this well. 

his once sleepless nights which were haunted by nightmares and resulted in hourless sessions of just staring at his ceiling, eyes trailing after the fan as it spun around in circles until the chirping of the birds outside awakened him, turned into calm nights after moving together with you.

a cloud of nostalgia fogs his mind as he recalls how you never understood why he insisted on moving into your apartment despite his being much bigger. (he supposes his place never gave him that certain sense of belonging that he sought after.)

aventurine’s eyes dart through your room to search for any changes that might have occurred.

the books you always read before going to sleep (sometimes even reading him a snippet of the part where you’re currently at) are still messily stapled on your nightstand. 

he smiles fondly before continuing his search, eyes wandering through the room and halting as he sees all the jewelry he’s bought for you, all tidily arranged on your vanity.

which contrasts with all the sticky notes that are loosely hanging off your mirror and the trinkets he's brought you from other planets that are messily splayed out on your desk.

his pink eyes pause as he catches sight of the chair next to the bed. his clothes that you “borrowed” (he always found it endearing how you walked around in his clothes as if you owned them — not like he minded) once and never gave back even after the breakup, sit neatly folded on the white chair next to your bed. 

everything is kept in place and remains the same as before: the books, the trinkets, the jewelry, and well.

his eyes drift from the chair down to his body. you changed his clothes for him.

the uneasiness that lingers in his chest slightly melts away, slowly and torturously like wax dripping off a candle.

you didn’t throw the things he gifted you away.

aventurine slips out of the covers that were once his, the sheets slightly rustle and leave behind creases as he sits at the edge of your bed. with the amount of force that aventurine uses to press his elbows against his knees it almost feels like daggers piercing into his flesh, and with his head buried between the palms of his hands, he can only laugh — a mocking grin plasters itself on aventurine’s face.

it’s ridiculous, almost pathetic the way he’s relieved. he has no right to feel so after being the one who suggested the breakup. 

he doesn’t even understand how he ended up here. jelena and veritas insisted on bringing him home, so why’s he here? everything from the former night is mushed up and blurry, he doesn’t recall the reason why he was brought here. 

neither does he understand why you offered him a place to stay, he feels like a dirty pup shamelessly returning to its owner after choosing to abandon them.

aventurine sighs before slipping into the pair of clothes that have remained untouched in the past few minutes. the shirt is a bit bigger than expected and the pants hang loosely off his hips but the scent remained the same. from the moment he let you borrow his clothes to now, the present the smell is one he’s all too acquainted with — his own. 

the only thing that he can picture at this moment is his clothes rotting in the depths of your closet, long forgotten as they get engulfed by the scent of your clothes.

his hands are hidden in the pockets of the pair of pants to conceal the way they’re trembling, fingers itching as they anxiously tap against his thigh. 

he’s nothing but a coward. 

he takes a deep breath before getting up, the goosebumps that prickle on his skin, the clenching of his teeth, and the constant urge to just storm out and leave now — they’re all suffocating him. gnawing at his skin like a rabid animal chewing the remaining flesh of a dead body.

as he enters the living room, his coat draped over the chair he’s standing in front of and you are the first things he spots. 

(as if you haven’t occupied his mind the entire time whilst being away from you — there isn’t a single day in his entire life where he doesn’t mourn after people. it’s pathetic, really, the way nostalgia torments him, but he’s a man with nothing on his hands other than the scars of the past. so what other choice does he have?)

you look up from your phone, eyes flickering around the small room before landing on the end of the dining table but aventurine’s eyes are glued to the neatly wrapped flower bouquet lying in the middle of the desk, perfectly lying there on the white table cloth.

nausea bubbles in his stomach. have you already moved on? he shouldn’t care — he’s not supposed to care, but he can’t help it. 

he exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding in and a wave of relief washes over him, he snaps out of his thoughts and follows your gaze, and only then does he notice the plate of assorted fruits and the bowl of steaming soup, standing on your dining table. 

as if noticing his hesitance you reluctantly speak up. “you don’t have to eat if you don’t want to, i won’t force you to,” the smile you give him is somewhat strained and the way your eyes quickly fly down his body doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

his eyes widen in surprise and his immediate response to that is to quickly seat himself on the chair. “no..it’s fine,” aventurine gulps. “no need to check me out either. i’ve always liked your homecooked meals a lot, no?” he chuckles as if trying to throw a joke into the room that’ll lift the tense mood that he’s created.

(he hopes that now his body is at least somehow concealed by the table so you won’t have to stare at him any longer. he’s not worth looking at.)

“thank you for the food,” he mumbles under his breath and if you hear it you don’t acknowledge it. aventurine stares down at the food, contemplating what to do. he picks up the metal spoon lying next to it and dips it into the soup. 

breathe in, breathe out.

breathe in, breathe out.

breathe in, breathe out — you’ll be fine.

aventurine continues to stir the soup inside the bowl, sometimes lifting its contents only to let it droop down into the soup again. “so, mind telling me what happened yesterday?” 

your eyes lock from across the table and you give him a deadpan expression. “you seriously don’t remember?” the little smirk that quirks at your lips is contagious and he can’t help but smile a bit himself.

“well obviously not, when i’m asking,” he remarks back sarcastically. 

he missed bickering with you. it felt so familiar, so nostalgic — so right.

you put your phone down on the table and start explaining. “well to put it short, your colleagues, jelena and veritas if i recall correctly, brought you here because you were drunk since you kept whining about wanting to go home and well considering me as your home.”

oh.

“right and as soon as i brought you into my place you purged all over your clothes and my floor” you quickly add. “but don’t worry i washed it for you, it’s behind you.” 

“ah really? how rude of me,” he utters bashfully. “apologies then, as compensation, i’ll head home now and send some credits to your bank account although perhaps that might not be a good idea. seeing your partner’s ex (the word lies bitter on his tongue) still lurking around in their home and even sending them credits — that’d be shameless of me. apologies.”

you let out a small laugh that slightly lifts the uneasiness that has been resting on his shoulders. “aventurine, what are you even talking about?” although you seem to find fun in this, your voice is filled with confusion.

the metal spoon he has been firmly gripping for the past few minutes sags against the bowl as aventurine points at the flower bouquet sitting on the neat tablecloth. “the flowers,” he murmurs to himself more than to you.

“oh,” you laugh. “i bought them for myself,” you admit sheepishly before getting up to unwrap the bouquet, revealing a beautiful arrangement of colorful flowers.

you quickly scurry into the kitchen to fill up a vase with water before gracefully setting the flowers down into the now with water-filled vase. “they’re pretty, aren’t they?” you admire the flowers with a smile on your face. “very pretty indeed.” aventurine smiles as his gaze is focused on you.

only then as you rearrange the flowers, making sure that they won’t sag over the rim of the vase, he notices the ring you’re wearing. a promise ring.

aventurine blinks a few times to assure himself that he wasn’t dreaming, but he’d recognize this ring everywhere. how could he not when it’s the same ring that adorns his ring finger? 

“is there any particular reason you kept the jewelry i gifted you?” his gaze drifts to the ring that is in full display and which is glowing under your living room light. 

your eyes that were focusing on the flowers just now, suddenly look down to peek at the ring. “well, it’d be a shame to throw it away. it was expensive after all,” you express truthfully.

“but you also kept the sticky notes i wrote for you every morning in your room — you kept everything i gifted you. the pressed flower bookmarks, the shitty handmade bracelet, my clothes — everything,” he notes.

your response is nothing but short. “oh, uh yeah.”

why? he wants to ask but he knows that trying to force an answer out of you is no good, if you don’t want to respond you needn’t.

“i guess i missed having you around. the things you got me served me as a reminder that you're somehow still with me,” despite your admission being no louder than a whisper it clearly reaches aventurine’s ears.

but he’s in no position to tease you — he’s way too stunned for that, as if not being able to believe your words.

he feels like a small child who discovers that the fables and tales adults tell aren’t real, that those were made-up stories with made-up people which he so desperately tries to deny.

“i see,” he mumbles. “yeah,” you nod your head and look away. 

the awkward silence that follows is unbearable — it’s killing him. 

to know that you still think about him, he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t at least the tiniest bit happy but he also knows that it’s ironic and that he shouldn’t feel like this.

as if you’re able to read his mind you snap him out of his thoughts with a mere question. “aventurine, what’s on your mind?”

“you always knew me too well for my own liking,” he chuckles in defeat, and in return, you can only smile.

“but, i suppose, i’m just..relieved?” he admits while staring down at the untouched soup that reflects his pleased expression.

“relieved about what exactly?” you ask curiously, head tilted to the side as you await his response. “relieved that i’m not the only one who thinks of the other,” he smiles, letting out a small sigh when doing so.

“so you were jealous or what?” you jokingly scoff. the smirk on your lips is mischievous, but your eyes deceive you. they’re soft as they stare down at him.

“don’t ask questions to which you already know the answers to.”

END NOTE: as yall can tell i seem to enjoy writing aventurine and alcohol together (ref. wyws & ttol) does the "a" in aventurine atp stand for angst or alcohol...(both) /lh

© VYNICITY 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.

[neevblanc]

your cafe event is so cute!🩷🩷 Dazai hurt/comfort (the boy needs catharsis)...the word is scars. Thank you! -Iris🩵

a/n —hi hi iris!! tysm, im glad u think so :D i wanna wrap dazai in a blanket burrito like ppl do with their cats. hes just a little guy (in the tone of that tiktok audio thats like "what murdaaa?")!!! p.s i did ADA! dazai! sorry if you wanted mafia/dark era, pls let me know and i'll do another teehee

blanca’s cafe event!

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Dazai Osamu x GN!reader

Tags— angst, hurt/comfort, dazai osamu needs a hug, but pls dont touch him, or maybe do because it's you, wound dressing, themes of depression

CW/TW— self-harm (character runs hot water on hands), mentions of sh scars (non-explicit), trauma, disassociation!

please keep yourself safe.

𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴:

"I Bet On Losing Dogs"

00:32 ━━●─────── 02:50

ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ "i bet on losing dogs, i know they're losing and i'll pay for my place"

"Osamu? You alright in there?" 

Your voice sounded muffled through the wooden door, and the cotton in his ears just made it that much harder to hear.

The tap kept running, the water so hot it steamed against the basin, rising and wisping across his face and leaving a dampness across his skin. His hands lay directly below the water, and he knows despite his nerves screaming from the cold feeling, they are experiencing a burn so intense the receptors cannot help but be confused by the extreme temperature.

He doesn't remember why he came in here or what he was doing before.

"...Osamu?" The door rattles for a moment. He can't tear his gaze away from the rushing water or his reddening skin. 

The bathroom door opens, and the sudden movement in the corner of his eye is enough to drag him out of the fog. His head moves just enough to look at you, eyes blinking slowly. 

"What?" He mutters, mouth heavy. His hands are still under the tap. He watches your face fall subtly. With gentle (kind, so kind) hands, you carefully push his hands out of the stream and turn the creaky faucet. The water stops abruptly, stray drops clinking against the sink. 

"Osamu, can you hear me?" You say, and your voice sounds closer than it had earlier. Everything does- the way your clothes crinkle as you move to open the cabinet and gather a collection of things he can't muster the energy to pay attention to, his breathing, the shuffling of your shoes. 

"Of course I can hear you." He answers, blinking heavily. He's present enough to feel a pinch of annoyance. Another episode, spacing out like an idiot when he could be doing anything else...like annoying Kunikida, napping, reading the same book for the 86th time,

Or talking to you. You said something again, didn't you? 

"I'm sorry, what was that?" He hummed, blinking to gather his bearings again. You'd gotten him to sit on the toilet, lid closed, while you gently dabbed a cooling gel onto his irritated skin. There's a jolt of fear when he realizes his bandages lay on the counter, unraveled messily and leaving him exposed. Dazai figures he must've taken them off while he was under. 

"I was just asking if you could hear me, Dazai-san." You say, smiling at him despite the concerned pinch of your brows. He nods, smiling in return.

"Yes, I can." He answers shortly. His skin itches where you touch, and he attributes it to the burns despite knowing touch has always felt vile to him. You put the burn gel on the counter and lean back, looking at him for a beat. He averts his eyes, shame clawing at his face. 

"You shouldn't stare at me like that. You'll give me the wrong idea." He teases, but it falls flat, and he knows it. You huff a tiny sigh, pick up a roll of bandages, and hold out your hand. 

"Let me?" You say, and your voice is so soft he leans forward like he was chasing the sound. His hair shifts with the movement when he nods. Your hands are on him again, and he focuses on keeping his breathing steady while your hands move to wrap his arms. The fabric settles familiarly against his skin, though these seem scratchier than the ones he prefers to buy. Your application is just as kind as you, not as tight as he often does, to keep them from unraveling faster. 

"I'm sorry." He says, and his voice falters in a way he had worked hard to never let you hear before. You finish off the first arm before saying anything, crouching so he'd be forced to look you in the eyes. You brace yourself against his knees, and the tingles that come from the touch aren't as pronounced this time. 

"Don't be. I don't mind, and I never will. Not if it's you, Dazai." You assure him, absently running your thumb across the fabric covering his knee. You stand again and gently take his other arm.

Dazai lets you, a mess of feelings that all feel like they burn across his skin, hotter than the water that had bitten at his hands.

"You shouldn't call me that, you know." He mutters, frowning. You pause, and he knows you tilted your head in confusion without even looking up.

"Call you what?" You answer, moving to wrap another loop around his arm. He grins. 

"You called me Osamu earlier, hm? It hurts my feelings to return to Dazai," He whines, and you startle with a little jolt. Dazai suppressed the smile that threatened to grow at your surprise. 

"Sorry, I- didn't think you could hear me, so I thought it would shock you if I used your name." You explained, voice small. He smiled this time, looking up at you. 

"Mm, smart of you. Still, you can call me Osamu. I like the way you say it." He says- eyes narrowed in that way he can't help. You fiddle with the bandage roll in your hands, and he's satisfied to make you flustered again. 

You settle with another sigh, resuming your task. With you so close, Dazai can see how you fight off a smile. It makes him feel like he's won, somehow- like seeing the worried crease on your face melt away was his only goal, and having done it makes his skin settle, no longer buzzing and crawling like it always does. 

"Sure, if you're alright with it then." You answer, smiling gently. He averts his gaze and lets you finish, feeling cold when you step away to put the things back into the medicine cabinet. He stands, mindful of the gel still on his hands, despite the urge to shove them into his pockets like he often does. 

You turn to him once you're done, a little nervous. He waits patiently for you to gather your words. 

"You shouldn't wrap your bandages so tight. It's not good for your circulation. I don't know how long you were like...that, but there were still marks from them on your arms. Please." You say, leaning your weight on the counter.

Dazai blinks at you for a moment, but he smiles and nods. 

"Alright, I'll try not to." 

You grin at his reply and exit the bathroom without another word. He follows, quickly turning off the light as you walk down the hall, back to the main room of Cafe Uzumaki. 

There's a lot left to say, he thinks. He knows you have questions about the scars that litter his arms, some clean and some jagged and painful-looking. He knows you want to help; it's in your nature to help.

He wants to ask you to say his name until it doesn't sound real anymore, wants to feel your hands on his skin again because he wants to know if the itch was really from you or the burn, and wants to let you bandage his arms every day because you do it with an amount of care he is sure he does not deserve. 

But walking up the stairs back to the agency (where Atsushi will look at him warily in fear of another report being bummed off to him, and Kenji will ask him if city folk always take hours in the bathroom) next to you, he finds he can't bring himself to be as selfish as to ask you anything more.

[highdramas]

hey bae!! can i pls request a fluffy steve harrington imagine, s3/s4 er’s with the fake dating friends to lovers trope? ty!!

eeeee i loved this!!! i drew some inspo from to all the boys i've loved before <3 love a shy reader moment!!! thank you for sending and i hope you enjoy [wc: 3249.] <3

--

you don't know how the letters got out. how the hell would the letters have gotten out?

you're going through things to get rid of in preparation of going to college-- sure, you were just going to school in indianapolis, but it was better than staying this hell hole of a town even one second longer-- but the hatbox was gone. no, not gone. worse. it was empty.

the expletive you let out has your father screaming from down the hall. "what did i say about language?!"

"sorry!" you squeak as you continue to throw clothes over your shoulders, furrowed brows. "no, no, no..." you groan and cover your face with your hands. this is cruel. god is a cruel, petty thing, you decide.

haven't you been good? you volunteer at the humane society. you never got detention in high school. you'd never stolen anything. you liked to think that you were a good person-- quiet, maybe. introverted, definitely. shy more than anything. and, well, that's how you got into this debacle in the first place.

a hopeless romantic by nature, you could never fathom truly confessing to the loves of your lives. especially considering all of those loves definitely did not feel the same way towards you. i mean-- was king steve going to have a crush on you? no way. which was why it was easy to write your love confession on the page, seal it up, address, stamp, and all-- and place it in the hatbox to never be seen again.

until now.

"honey--" you hear your mother call from downstairs. "someone's asking for you on the phone."

"who?!" you yell back, gripping the banister.

"steve harrington."

your blood goes cold.

you would take ten extra volunteer shifts at the humane society if it meant that all of this would go away.

you shuffle downstairs and take the phone from your mom, leaning against the wall, glancing from right to left as if he was really there with you. "hello?"

"and his hair-- he has the most gorgeous hair i've ever seen. i want to run my hands through it and--"

"STOP!" you run your hand over your face and squeeze your eyes shut. "oh my god, literally, please--"

"oh, c'mon. i'm giving you shit. you know, this whole letter is really sweet. you're a good writer. and sending right before you go off to college? bold move. i respect it." steve's voice has the warmth of a smile embedded into it. you can picture him on the other line, the crisp strawberry stationary in his big hand.

you don't know why you had picked strawberries for steve. it seemed fitting at the time.

breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, you say slowly, "that wasn't meant to get to you. and, for the record, that was written, like, three years ago."

"wow. you wound me. well, either way, really boosted my ego. i figured i would come by and thank you in person. you live off church street, right? the little green house?"

stammering, you can barely get a word out before he says, "okay, cool, i thought so. see you in ten."

and he hangs up on you. just like that.

it reminds you exactly why your crush on king steve went away in the first place.

--

steve makes it to your house in eight minutes. he comes right up to the door and knocks, and when you open it, frantic and frazzled and with your sweater on backwards, he looks you up and down.

"your tag's sticking out." he tucks it back in for you. "and... it's backwards."

"i realize that now."

"great."

for a moment you're just staring at one another. then steve cracks a smile. "c'mon. can i get you, like, a milkshake or something? you look a little shaky, some sugar would probably--"

but everything goes silent. because approaching your door behind steve is ryan stewart, holding a letter of his own.

"fuck," you hiss under your breath, eyes darting to steve.

"woah, she curses! cool. i always thought you were super uptight, you know--" his words are cut off when you take him by the face and bring him to you, your lips crashing against his. it's slightly awkward; you're mostly kissing his top lip and your noses are crushed together a bit. but his hand finds a home on your waist and you feel his fingertips grip into your skin slightly. when you pull away, you can feel the fire on your face. and when you look over steve's shoulder at ryan, you feel a sick sort of triumph.

"milkshakes sound great, steve," you say the words loud enough for ryan to hear and you wrap your arm around his, calling over your shoulders to your parents that you'll be back soon. the look on steve's face is nothing short of befuddled, but when he turns around and sees ryan stewart standing there with a letter in hand, something seems to click into place.

he shifts your position from an awkward arm lock to a natural draping of his arm across your shoulder. he offers ryan a smile that says-- hey, can i help you? "hey, stewart," he says, nodding his head at him as he walks by.

ryan opens his mouth to say something but steve has already shuffled you into his car. he even opened the door for you. by the time the two of you are inside and steve is driving away, ryan has barely turned in his spot.

silence fills the car. you touch your bottom lip and you feel steve's eyes on you. "well," he begins. "your technique could use some work, but not a bad kiss, all things considered."

dumbfounded where you sit, you slowly glance over at him to see him wearing the biggest smirk imaginable.

and some of your lipstick.

you groan and cover your face with your hands, a muffled, "i'm sorry." getting out. barely. all you can hear is his laughter and when you drop your hands, you can't help but admire just how pretty he looks when he's laughing.

"you don't have anything to be sorry for. a pretty girl kissed me? wow, what a hardship." steve looks over at you. "i'm more curious as to what ryan stewart did to make you kiss me like that."

crossing your arms over your chest, you look out the window. "okay, well-- remember when i told you about the letters?" he nods his head. "well, like i said, you're not the only one who got one. you, ryan, eddie munson, and a boy from summer camp when i was twelve. instead of risking embarrassment and putting my feelings out there, i wrote the letters. and i always felt better when i did."

steve is quiet for a moment before he says, "that's sorta sad, and doesn't answer my question, really."

you roll your eyes and continue. "well, ryan's letter was different than the other ones. it was... a heartbreak letter. ryan and i had dated for six months last year but wanted to keep it a secret. from everyone. and then he ended things with me and got with someone else. prom king and queen." your head falls back against the headrest. "so i wrote how i felt. just like i always do. and you know what? you getting your letter, fine. eddie? he'll be nice about it. the boy from summer camp? who knows if he even got his. but that letter getting out..." you shrug, feeling meek in all the worst ways. "i didn't want him to feel sorry for me. or think that i'm sad and hung up over him, because i'm not. and you were... right there. and i wanted him to see that someone else would kiss me. in public." you press your lips together. "i realize that also sounds sad."

"it does, but not because of you. it sounds sad because ryan is a total dickhead." steve pulls into the parking lot of the diner and he turns and looks at you. "i think i have an idea."

--

"this'll never work."

"it'll absolutely work," steve says with a grin. "it'll make ryan jealous as hell, and remind girls what they're missing when they're not going out with me. i mean, it's basically foolproof. and at the end we go our separate ways with no ill will for one another. c'mon-- give credit where credit is due."

you slide your milkshake closer to yourself and take a long sip. "well, how long do we do this for?"

"you're moving away in three months for school. that seems like a good chunk of time, don't you think?" steve leans forward on his forearms. "look, i know i say a lot, but you don't have to do this if you don't want to. it was just... an idea." he shrugs and you don't know if you've ever seen steve so... sheepish before.

"no. no. it's... it's a good idea, unfortunately." you pause. "but there's going to need to be rules!"

"rules! rules, we can do rules. easy. what rules are you thinking?"

"well... how much time are we going to spend together? how much will we kiss? we're gonna have to go out in order for people to see about us and hear about us, so where are we gonna go? what about--"

steve's hand reaches out and covers yours. it's warm, and calloused slightly. like he's a star baseball player. "we'll figure all of that out. i promise." his thumb swipes across your skin. "contrary to popular belief, i do know how to date someone. how to make someone feel... special." he peers at you. "i can do that stuff for you, too. you know--" he clears his throat. "to make it all more believable."

breathless, you nod your head. "yeah," you smile. "believable."

--

you and steve harrington were the absolute talk of hawkins, indiana. one month into this... experiment and everyone had an opinion, everyone had a comment. even the kiss in front of ryan had become public knowledge. ryan told one person, one told another person, who told five people... and suddenly, after feeling mostly invisible through your high school career, you feel very visible. almost uncomfortably so.

but steve is a good partner in it. there's a reason why you wrote him a letter those years ago-- maybe even then you had seen something in him that other people didn't always recognize. regardless of the bravado, you always felt like there was something... soft about him. a soft underbelly that few people ever got. and now, you know that you were right all along.

because after a day at park, rolling around in the grass and reading to steve and looking around to see who's watching... he could be anywhere else. but he's here, at your house, with you. watching grease.

"your hair kinda reminds me of danny's," you say with a smile. you reach across the couch and run your hand through it; in the weeks that you've been putting on this ruse, you've gotten extremely comfortable around steve. that part is not fake. not one bit. "i like it."

steve smiles and settles further into your couch. "well, does that make you my sandy?"

"i guess so." you scrunch your nose up. "but i never really liked sandy's ending. i mean, why should she change herself to fit in with everyone else? she knows who she is. i never thought that was fair." you scoot a little closer to steve, subconsciously. you'd both agreed that no one could know about your arrangement, especially not your parents. so you supposed that sitting close to him on the couch wasn't that weird.

even if your parents weren't home.

"it's not fair. sandy was cute before the jumpsuit." steve shrugs his shoulders and looks over at you. there's a silence as you two stare at each other. "i'm cool with you being my sandy," the corner of his mouth turns up and he opens his arms. "c'mere."

"steve-- my parents aren't home, we don't have to--"

"it's not for anyone to see. you don't like to cuddle?"

you huff and settle into his arms, your cheek squished against the strong plane of his chest, your legs stretched out across the couch. "of course i like to cuddle."

"that's what i thought."

you both fell asleep like that. you're awoken by steve's gentle touch, brushing your hair from your eyes and shaking your shoulder. "hey-- hey, baby, we fell asleep."

you grumble but don't make any moves to get up any time soon. you feel steve's laugh on your cheek more than you hear it. "alright, you leave me no choice--" you groan in discontent when he slips out from under you. but then he's scooping you up into his arms.

steve takes you up the stairs and into your bedroom, laying you down gently. he pulls back the covers and tucks you beneath them. your eyes flutter open to find him watching you with a lovely smile. truly lovely-- it's the smile that gives you butterflies. "you can't stay?" you whisper, and if you were fully awake, you'd be mortified for asking such a thing.

"don't want to get you in trouble." he pushes your hair back and kisses your cheek, your forehead. "i'll come by in the morning, take you to breakfast. how's that sound?"

you nod your head and yawn. your hand rubs at his arm, a matching smile on your own face. "okay."

"okay," steve whispers. he leans forward and kisses your cheek again. "sweet dreams. see you in the morning."

--

you're not sure how three months went by so quickly.

you also don't know how to reckon with the fact that they went by so quickly because you loved every single moment of them.

it wasn't just that steve was a good fake boyfriend-- steve was just a good person. a good friend. every moment that you spent around him, you wanted to bottle that moment up and live in it forever. he was, whether you wanted to admit it or not, your favorite person.

ryan was an afterthought. none of this was for him, anymore. this... it was all for steve.

"where should i put this one?" steve asks, holding up a box labeled books. "you have, like fifty books boxes. do you even get a bookshelf in your dorm?"

your childhood bedroom is in tatters, picked apart and almost all packed up for your drive tomorrow. you'd be staying at steve's tonight prior to your drive. an occurrence that wasn't all that rare, anyway. you always slept side by side, and it always ended with his strong arms wrapped all around you.

steve and the kids would be there for your send off. another wonderful addition to bringing steve into your life-- the kids that came along with him. dustin was your favorite, but you weren't going to tell that to the others.

and while three months ago, you couldn't wait to get out of hawkins... you don't feel that same excitement now. you're still excited, definitely, but... you have something that you're going to be missing, now. you hadn't exactly planned for that.

you have someone who you'll be missing.

"i can always make room for books," you say, turning your nose up at steve. "you can set it there," you point to another stack of boxes. "thanks for helping."

"'course. that's what a boyfriend's there for."

silence falls over the two of you and you think that steve realizes what he said, because he suddenly goes rigid as he sets the box down with the others. "i mean-- like, a friend. a boy that's a friend. and also your fake boyfriend. i--" he sighs and rubs his face. "fuck."

setting down the tape in your hand, you turn your attention more fully to steve. his hand drops and he meets your gaze and for the first time, you can see everything written all over his face. like he's dropped a mask that's been hiding his real, true feelings. or maybe you'd just been too blind to see it. "say that again."

"a boy that's a friend?"

"no. before that."

he pauses. "that's... that's what a boyfriend is there for?"

you nod your head slowly. "is that... is that how you view yourself? with me? my boyfriend... for real?"

steve's cheeks start to go pink. "i mean... i know you're my best friend. and i know that i fucking love being around you. and i know that... i know that shit started to get a little blurry for me. probably a few months ago. i-- you know, i just... i don't really feel like i'm pretending anymore." he blinks and you can see the nerves on his body. it's what leads you to cross the room towards him and take his hand in yours. "is that... is that what you want?"

"steve," you whisper. "you got a letter in the first place because when i was fifteen i was crazy about you. and i think... i think i've always been a little crazy about you. so... yes. that's what i want."

gentle fingertips trace down your jaw. "i guess not much changes, anyway." he smirks a little. "we've been dating for..."

"three months. two days." you shrug your shoulders as his eyes widen. "i pay attention, i guess..."

steve laughs and he brings you in by the waist, burying his face into the crook of your neck. "that's my girl." he goes quiet. "i'm gonna miss you. i was always gonna miss you, but... you know, indianapolis isn't far. i'll come and visit. you'll come home for holidays. we'll... we'll be fine."

your fingers run through steve's hair. "i'm gonna miss you too. what you said earlier? about me being your best friend? you're mine too."

he squeezes your waist and it wrings another smile out of you. steve makes you hopelessly lovesick, in the best of ways.

--

steve ended up driving up with you, helping you set up your dorm alongside your parents. and after you shed your tears when your parents left, after you anxiously paced the floor anticipating the moment that steve would have to leave. "hey, hey, hey," steve finally says, stopping your movements. "i have something for you before i go."

you open your mouth and he shakes his head. "no, no. let me do this." from his back pocket, he procures a letter. complete with your dorm address and a cute stamp in the top right corner. he holds it out to you. "i want you to read this when you miss me most. not tonight-- tonight, i want you to go and have fun and make friends. your roommate seems cool. i'm talking, like, october." he pauses. "can you do that for me?"

your eyes shine with unshed tears. "steve..." it's practically a whimper. you look up at him and you say, "i love you."

wrapping himself around you, his hand rubs your back. "i love you too," he whispers into your ear. "never loved anyone like this before."

butterflies swarm in your stomach. and you still don't know how those letters got sent-- but you've never been so thankful for fate working its magic than you are for that letter being sent, and bringing steve to your doorstep on a warm may afternoon.

[opluffys]

Mentor + Mentee-

-first part-

pls let me know if there are any errors or if this copied weird. you don’t have to read the first part to understand this, but it helps set the scene a bit :). pls enjoy <3

tags- cunnilingus, blow jobs, rough sex, toxic relationship, praising, size difference, fem reader.

6k words.

-Ghost x Reader x Price-

-nsfw/smut-

As you trailed behind Ghost, your thoughts ran like the wildest child. Why couldn't you ever stand your ground? Just tell him no, for once? He pulled you in with his brashness, commanding you in a way that was impossible for you to say anything but an affirmation.

"You really couldn't wait until the morning? I'm fucking tired." You huffed, exhaustion and sass lacing your tone.

He didn't acknowledge your fulminations, instead, he made longer and quicker strides, forcing you to walk faster in order to catch up with him. Little things like these, his own cruel tests to see just how far you'd go just to listen to him, it adds up. It takes a toll on you, more so your mental state rather than physical. Though, the times where you couldn't make it out of bed due to his roughness had been displeasing, too.

The two of you continued to walk the narrow corridors in an odd and off putting silence. Your office had been passed, and so had his bunk. He didn't tell you where he wanted to take you, and now, nervousness wracked your senses.

Maybe he didn't want you anymore..?

No, fuck, you couldn't handle that. You'd rather him use you as a warm body than to just dump you to the side, looking for another suitable individual. You took that spot, and you wore it with pride.

He suddenly stopped, and you had been right behind him, not having the guts to look at even his clothed back. You opted to face the ground, chewing the soft flesh of the inside of your cheek. Whatever happens, you had a feeling it wasn't good.

Ghost raised a gloved hand, knocking at the wooden door. You heard a gruff 'one minute' come from the other side. You couldn't quite recognise the voice on the other side due to the barrier of the door, but it sounded vaguely familiar.

After a few seconds, the door swung open, and out came both Soap and Gaz, lightly conversing with one another. They sounded exhausted.

"Hey doc!" Soap beamed at you, sounding ecstatic to see you. He was going to talk more before getting elbowed by Gaz and a harsh 'shut up, idiot!' getting thrown his way. You looked up at the two, and couldn't hold back your laugh once you'd seen three lollipops in each of their mouths. You wondered how these two were so serious in the field, yet reckless when at base.

"Didn't think we'd see you here, uh," Gaz stilled, thinking of an excuse before Soap cut in. "Sorry, we just really like the kind you get." He was an honest man, and he actually looked apologetic.

You waved them off, "You two are the only ones who eat them, anyway." You giggled, something only reserved for their boyish antics. They thanked you profusely, greeting their lieutenant before running off. You heard Gaz rebuke Soap as they made their way back to their bunks.

Wordlessly, Ghost walked in and left you right outside by yourself. You could run off, back to the inviting slab that you called a bed. You could just go and never look at him again, tell your medic to treat him so you wouldn't need to make contact with him, either. You were so tired of these complex feelings, unrequited and feeling like poison in your mind.

Yet, you shadowed right after him, like the idiotic and strangely acquiescent thing you were.

When you'd entered the room, you couldn't help the alleviated breath that had left you. You'd seen Price sat at his desk, fountain pen looking tiny in his big hands. Your mind was wandering, this man was your boss, you shouldn't be thinking about him in such a lecherous fashion.

But, oh, he was so kind to you. He'd call you the sweetest names, praise you endlessly while you'd patch him up. You wanted him to do so similarly while you sat atop him, taking him inside of you while he'd be so nice to you. He'd probably take his time with you, break you open inch by-

"Good, you brought 'er."

His thickened accent and gruff voice broke you away from you dirtied thoughts. And instead, you began to question why he'd wanted to see you in his own office. You'd never been here before, usually, he'd be the one to come to you.

Ghost said nothing, standing deathly still as his wide and impressive physique mimicked a marbleised statue, carved with care and love. The pure antithesis of what he had been internalised.

Price gestured for you to stand next to him, and told Ghost to take a seat right in front of the two of you. He hesitated, and it had finally struck you that he too had absolutely no clue on why the two of you had been summoned to Price's office.

"I told you to sit down, lieutenant." He sounded aggravated, yet eerily calm. His voice rumbled like the most devastating storm, and the two of you had been caught right in the midst of it.

Ghost didn't need Price to pull rank on him, he took a seat, spreading his large legs to get comfortable. You turned away, not wanting to look at him for too long, for fear of what would begin to brew in your mind.

Price then stood, pushing his swivel chair into the space between the mahogany desk. You crossed your arms over your chest, yearning to cover yourself in any way possible. You wanted to pull an invisible curtain over yourself, disappearing from their view.

And although you were used to being in a rather close vicinity to your superior, this felt off. It wasn't in a clinical setting, you weren't fixing him up, it was something that had been deemed unprofessional in your eyes.

But when did you care about keeping up appearances?

His office space was quiet, save for the cool rumbles of a tiny fan in the corner, puffing out air as fast and as strong as it could. The three of you seemed frozen, unmoving as time continued to tick, one cursed second at a time.

"Sorry t'call ya in like this, sweetheart." Price spoke, not missing the way you jolted at hearing him so suddenly. He instinctively wrapped a heavy arm around you, pulling you closer against him. At first, you stiffened against him, he was so warm, like a personal furnace warming your freezing skin. But, when you'd seen Ghost's stare stick to your own, seeing that glint in his eye, that look that had him fucking you until you were essentially brain dead, you quickly noted that he was jealous.

So, you melted against Price, pushing closer to him.

Ghost was now glaring at you, staring with contempt. Those damned expressive eyes of his, telling you everything he was thinking. That internal sense of resentfulness picking at his very spirit. He swore he could hear the very moon cackle and snicker at him, the stars and constellations joining in and laughing with a sardonic glee.

"I'll make this quick for you," His hands now steered you to stand in front of him. Then, you'd realised how much bigger he was, his hands were so large, he was so tall, so muscular. Like Ghost, he could probably break you right in half without even knowing it.

He dipped your pyjama top lower, just below your clavicle and shy of your sternum. You gasped at feeling him touch you, the back of his hand brushing against your breast.

"I'm tired of seeing my doctor like this."

You couldn't help but squeeze your thighs together to quell that unbearable heat in between your legs. Hearing him essentially call you his hadn't helped at all.

You dared to glance lower at your exposed skin, wincing at seeing the specks of purple slowly eat and consume at whatever had been exposed. Fuck, he must've noticed when he was cleaning your uniform. At times, you were really quite unaware of how observant the entirety of the Task Force had been.

Ghost shifted in his seat, leaning backwards to somehow close a distance he thought was strangling. You looked straight at him, something you normally weren't capable of. You then glanced over at his wide shoulders, and immediately to your hands. You never realised just how badly you'd wanted to lay a finger on him, and when you did, you did everything in your power to keep that feeling at ease. To ensure it would never come out whilst he slowly fucked into you, hoisting you up against a freezing wall and ravishing your soft body. It worked, until it didn't. Until that feeling built up into something that couldn't be tamed, something that'd come out with a vengeance.

"Then, ya got me thinkin'," He hummed, a surprising humorous lilt detected in his tone, "you've got no clue how to treat her properly."

Ghost was still as unmoving and unbothered as ever, his stare still on you, but moving to Price for just a moment when those words had left him. His words had him slightly bitter, unbeknownst to you.

"But don't worry." He chuckled, a deep and low rumble that you felt right against your back, "Captains got you."

You hadn't even had time to process what Price had said, still trying to even fathom that he had been so close to you. But, your mind quickly caught up with the given situation when you'd felt his hands back on your unsuspecting figure once again.

He slowly lifted your top, but you shivered, taking hold of his hands in your quivering ones. "Ghost, he's," He doesn't care about you-

Ghost's hardened stare on you actually softened for a split second. He really didn't think you would say that, didn't think that you'd care whether he was present or not whilst Price had done what he'd pleased with you.

You shyly bit your lip, playing with Price's thick digits while you'd been lost in thought. You knew Ghost didn't care for you, and you knew your role in his life. To stitch his deepest wounds and sate his deepest hunger.

"You've got such a loyal one 'n you treat 'er like this?" Price scoffed, allowing you to innocently toy with his hands. You truly don't know why you'd been so steadfast and devoted towards Ghost. A part of you thought that this had been the way he'd expressed himself, showing what he'd been feeling through raw and primal actions. That part of you was extremely delusional, but also faultless, unknowing to you.

Sure, you'd avoided him physically, but he'd avoided you emotionally.

"Sweetheart, he doesn't mind," Price had said, right in your ear as he pressed a kiss against your exposed neck, having you shudder lightly in his arms. You really weren't used to such light and loving touches being directed your way. "do you, lieutenant?"

You couldn't look at either man right now, fearful of Ghost's answer.

He'd responded almost instantly, "No."

No?

Fuck, that hurt.

He doesn't mind seeing you ravaged by another man? By his leader and your boss? You were supposed to be pinned under him always, supposed to be the only one that took him, supposed to be solely for him- just his.

You blinked rapidly to rid any tears from your tired eyes. All of your reservations lay within Ghost, right in his glove-clad hands, right underneath that balaclava, embedded in those honeyed eyes of his.

He didn't mind, so neither did you.

You peeled off your top and turned towards Price, pulling him into a searing kiss. He seemed surprised, unmoving against your mouth for a moment before pushing your body closer against his own. He lifted you and you wrapped your legs around him, whimpering into the kiss and getting all of your little sounds swallowed up.

Your back hit the wall, arms snaking around Price as the both of you were still enraptured by one another. His lips were so soft, and his beard lightly scratching at your skin was oddly welcomed.

You separated from him, panting while your heart beat on swiftly. He opened his mouth to say something, but you gravitated right back at him, kissing him roughly. You heard him groan into you as your hips rolled against him, feeling his hard-on push against you. You pushed away and bit his bottom lip, opening your eyes and soon meeting his stare.

You hugged him closer, so accustomed to that hurried pace with Ghost. Used to just shedding your bottoms and having him plunge into you, not ever taking a moment with you, to see what you liked and what you'd hated.

Price removed you from the wall and instead sat you onto his desk. Facing only him, Ghost had been at your back, you'd unable to look at him, to see and scale his facial expressions to gauge what he was feeling.

It had been on purpose.

You'd tried to turn around and look at him, but Price stopped you, grabbing your shoulders and stilling you. He left his hands there for a moment, looking right into your eyes with his piercing blues.

"Eyes on me, love."

You immediately broke eye contact, so unaccustomed to such mannerisms being directed your way. He chuckled lowly at your bashfulness, taking your chin in hand to direct your stare back to his own. Any minute now, while your eyes were on one another you thought he'd just fuck you and get it over with. You opened your mouth to speak, but a meek and tiny gasp left you when Price had began to lower himself.

"What are you-"

You interrupted yourself when he'd removed your pyjama bottoms, only leaving your damp panties clinging to you. His hands moved to your sides again, slowly sliding your undergarments down your legs. Your head was swimming, surroundings becoming a sickening spin.

He suddenly had two of his deft fingers push against your slick, teasing the entrance before plunging in. You gasped, hands at the edge of the desk as leverage. His mouth quickly replaced his fingers, licking a long stripe and catching your clit in his mouth. You couldn't hide the moan that left you, hands scrambling to tug at his short brown tendrils. His mouth on you was such an unexpected occurrence, the coarse hair of his beard scratching against you in a way that had your eyes rolling back.

You yanked his head backward, stumbling over your words, "Wait, y-you don't have to do," a low curse left you when he'd returned his fingers now, both his mouth and digits pleading you immensely. "don't have t'do this." You mumbled, thighs closing around him as a reflex.

"I want to." A brief break, staring straight at you through shorter lashes before delving right back into your wanting heat. One of his hands moved your thigh, since it was beginning to slowly suffocate him under the plush flesh.

He removed his fingers, wrapping his arms around your legs to push you closer against his face. You squeaked in surprise, fingers digging into his scalp in expectation for what he'd do next.

"C'mere lieutenant."

You stilled, honestly forgetting that Ghost had even been present, living up to his callsign. You didn't want him to be there, to see you getting pleasured by another man, by someone who wasn't him.

Yet, he'd practically materialised by your side in an instant.

His eyes, dark and cruel as always, hadn't been on you. Always on your body, never you. Straight past you and that ghostly thing inside, that's all you've ever been to him, right? Something to keep his cold self warm. You've always done such a stellar job at it, too.

"Look at her."

Your eyes shifted lower, down to your superior in a newfound shock. The ambient lighting framing his face in such a way where he looked so sharp, so pretty, something that wasn't yours. His mouth lightly glistened with your arousal, teasing your sensitive inner thigh with a gentle bite.

"She's a delicate thing." Ghost quietly responded, sounding impassive to the entire situation. Yet, his gloved hand was in a tightened fist at being so close to you, watching and hearing you moan and cry out for someone else.

A thing, that's all you'd be for him, though. An object that he could summon at his side to straddle and sit atop him, to please him and not mention a single word about it the very next day. You wanted to be something more, and you knew that humans are a creature of habit but hell, you wanted to break this cursed cycle and start anew.

Price chuckled from beneath you, his fingers never stopping their scissoring motion inside of you, "She is, already got her cryin'."

Your hands flew to your face, touching just under your tired eyes and utterly surprised at feeling those big tears cascade over your lashes. You hadn't even noticed, how fucking embarrassing. Showing yourself like this in front of your damn boss.

The two continued to speak, but you weren't listening, focused on how Price's long and thick fingers never stopped moving inside of you. How occasionally he'd start to lick and lap at your warmth, groaning deeply and muttering something. His hands would spread your thighs apart as he continued to eat at you like he'd been withheld from any sort of nourishment for decades, finding you as the most delectable thing.

You couldn't take it, whimpering his name before tugging at his hair once more, throwing your head back and letting nothing short of a scream leave you. Your body jolted, thighs closing in on Price as his tongue was unrelenting, continuing to lick at your slick folds and occasionally wrap his lips around your clit, sucking lightly. You had to try to pull him back and beg him to stop, little sniffles leaving you as you pleaded with him.

He obliged, though he chose to tease you a bit by leaving a few stray licks at you before rising to his feet. He peeled his shirt off and wiped his face from your arousal, eyes catching yours as he met you with a warm stare. He always did have the kindest eyes.

"Well, let me ask you, then." His eyes lingered on you for a moment, before turning to Ghost, "Those tears, were they from pleasure or pain?" Something, joy or sorrow, had been left unspoken.

You hurriedly spoke, not wanting him to answer, for fear of what he would say. For fear if it would be the truth, because even you hadn't known, "Well, I think I just cry easy, sir." You nervously mumbled, stare flickering intermittently at the two men. Price chuckled lowly, coaxing you off of the desk to stand next to him. The difference of size now that you'd been sandwiched right in between the two was, noticeable.

"C'mon love. That's not true," His tone was far from reprimanding, but instead a silent inquiry of wanting the truth. He'd already known the answer from the hesitance within Ghost.

"You don't know," He stilled, hanging his shirt over his shoulder, "or maybe you just don't like the answer?"

You'd wanted to interrupt again, to say something, fucking anything. An inquiry of your own had been created, why did it matter? Why does it matter?

"Don't think the answer matters." Fucking mind reader.

Price scoffed, "Course it fuckin' does."

Price's hand was back on your face, and you couldn't help but soften right into his touch again. He wiped your mostly dried tears, caressing your cheek and watching your face express a feeling of pure content.

"Treat 'er like she's not just anything, but something. Something to you."

You wanted to ask just how he'd grown so knowing at your complex relationship with his subordinate. You know that Ghost wouldn't run around boasting about you, since the two of you weren't an item. Yet, whenever you'd gotten close with another potential partner, you'd feel it in the way that his hands were on your hips, how his thrusts snapped against you and how he drove himself so deep. He was envious, and that was his way of showing you, of telling you through something that was worth more than words.

It couldn't be that difficult to pick up on.

You knew this matter wouldn't be solved in a single night, or potentially ever. So, you'd do what you were good at. Fucking your feelings away, because facing them head on was something that you'd cower away from, a tremble striking down to your very skeletal system.

You needed to shut Price up and stop him from coercing more answers from Ghost. So, you pulled him into you again, kissing him and threading your fingers through those short locks. He hummed appreciatively, clearly enjoying that you were beginning to take charge and quit being so timid. You jumped into his arms, feeling him attach his hands at your thighs to ensure you had been stable.

His hips rolled against your heat, feeling his length press into you. Your moans had been swallowed up by him, his tongue pushing into your mouth while you both kissed one another sloppily. You hugged him closer, it wasn't feasible, he was already chest to chest with you. You wanted to feel him, feel him in a way that you'd never feel Ghost. You'd always wanted to be held gently as he fucked into you, to take his stare and mould it into an endearing one as he littered your face with kisses. You knew it was just a foolish fantasy.

But for now, you could live it out with Price.

He lightly set you down on your feet, pressing another kiss against your eager lips. He softly bit your bottom lip as he moved behind you, softly pushing you down to your knees in front of one of his spare leather chairs in his office.

"On all fours sweetheart," His hands trailed over your body, once again coaxing you to lower yourself further. "Ghost, s'down." You heard Price settle himself down onto his knees right behind you, spreading your legs a bit before wading in one of his thick fingers into your heat. Your pose faltered, wanting to ask him why the two, three of you couldn't go somewhere more comfortable. Preferably where you didn't have to be on the ground.

As Price's fingers continued to slide into you and bring more sounds out of you, Ghost had seated himself right in front of you. You were sure he enjoyed the sight of you, beneath him and ready, wanting, to serve, like always.

You weren't often on your knees for Ghost, since he had been more inclined to just fucking you and calling it a day. Though, he would at times ask, rather, command, that you'd drop everything and please him. Who were you to say no? Especially when you'd enjoyed it almost as much as he had. You absolutely adored whenever you'd been the reason that you could take some stress off of him. That you'd been the reason as to why when Soap had told Ghost some corny joke, you swore you heard the faintest of a laugh instead of silence.

That had been enough.

Even if your feelings had been unrequited, at least you'd served a purpose for him. Further than the ability to treat him medically, crossing into an unforgiving yet beneficial territory.

You heard the sound of a belt and zipper from behind you, having you instinctively cant your hips back. Price chuckled quietly at seeing just how desperate and needy you'd been, halting your movements with a heavy palm at your hip.

You felt his tip press at your cunt, using your own slick as lubricant. From what you felt, he'd been big, thick and girthy. And when he'd began to push himself into you with a low grunt, you didn't bother hiding the moan that slipped past your lips. He filled your insides, stretching you perfectly, he'd been big, a bit painful to take initially, but doable. Not like the borderline impossible feat of taking Ghost for the very first time.

You held your breath, awaiting for Price to bottom out inside of you, feeding his cock into your greedy pussy inch by inch. The sensation of pleasure increasing tenfold as he continued to stuff you full of him, every vein dragging against your velvety walls having you cry out to him. You laid your head against Ghost's thigh, not realising what an idiotic action it'd been, or maybe you just didn't care. Either way, he'd allowed it, for some reason.

The endless praise of Price was better than you could've ever imagined, his usual deep and confident voice sounding strained, attempting to keep his own gruff sounds to himself. His hands were at your hips now, holding you in place and anchoring himself to you, beginning to set a welcomed pace.

He fucked you slow, slower than you'd typically experienced. He'd done so in such a way that you'd been able to savour the action. Able to get accustomed to the sting of his thick cock inside of you, accustomed to how he spoke to you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, kissing your tears away and telling you what an amazing job you'd been doing, taking him like this.

You'd been sobbing nearly right away, the feeling of his cock ravaging your insides too much. Your little ramblings of "Too much, s'too much," only fuelling his need to please you, his slow pace quickening ever so slightly. Your tears wet Ghost's sweatpants, glittering and salty drops temporarily staining the gray material.

You felt you release become imminent, the familiar rhythm becoming unbearably pleasurable. But when you felt Ghost wipe away one of your stray tears, looking down at you with some form of newfound adoration and reverence, you truly couldn't take it. Your heart felt like it was going to erupt within your chest cavity, why now did he pick to look at you in such a way? You cried out, an odd mixture of both of their names from your tongue as you shook, back arching and hips pulling back into Price as you felt your orgasm wash over you, striking you with an unforgiving hand.

You heard him groan deeply, his speed only hastening, assisting you in riding out your orgasm. Your head had still laid on Ghost's leg, eyes etched shut as you swayed back and forth, small cries leaving you occasionally.

You were moved away from Ghost by his gloved hand, his palm holding your chin as he slipped his waistband down, just enough so his cock could spring out and hit his abdomen. His thumb split your lips, and you were eager to please, accepting the large digit and enclosing your mouth over it, sucking lightly. The leather taste had you wanting more, something better.

You backed your head up, removing his finger from your mouth, "Just give it to me already," You huffed, not usually so bratty and commanding with Ghost, or anyone for that matter. He seemed to like the fact that your true wants and needs took higher priority over your image.

"Ask nicely."

"Please," Breathy and whiny, not holding any weight to it.

He scoffed, taking ahold of his heavy cock in his freehand, "Don't sound too convincin'. Usually you're not shy about beggin'."

Of course, this had been the truth, but Price hadn't needed to be aware of this. He laughed behind you, stilling his movements momentarily, buried deep inside of you, "Didn't take you for one to beg, love." He kissed the back of your neck, trailing lower and lower.

"I'm not," you shyly muttered, suddenly crying out in discomfort when Price's cock hit right against your cervix. He quickly apologised, but whilst your mouth had been open, Ghost had practically shoved his cock into your mouth, slightly choking you with his sheer size.

He grunted, his hands gripping the armrests as your throat constricted around his dick. It was difficult to think with two cocks inside of you, but you couldn't help but watch Ghost. Watch his hands, grasping at the armrests with purchase as you continued to suck him. Not having to do too much movement, since your boss had been fucking you from the back, moving you up and down over Ghost.

You noticed how hard it was for him to touch you, too.

It was unclear how this was supposed to make you feel, part of you was filled with glee and the other had been solemn and saddened. Though, now wasn't a time for feelings, was it?

You slowly took more of his cock, your lips stretched over him and feeling your throat bulge out was dizzying. His everything was intoxicating, the skin and salt taste of him had you fighting off the urge to choke and get him out of you.

He slid far past your uvula, your hand squeezing your thumb being the reason for your gag reflex not triggering. You wanted to show him that you'd go great lengths for him, even if he wouldn't dare do the same. It didn't matter, because you'd really do absolutely anything for him, anything to ensure that he'd been pleased not only with you, but because of you.

It seemed that watching Price with you earlier on had made Ghost on edge, throwing his head back and groaning. "Takin' me so fuckin' good." He uttered, voice gravelly and accent heavier while his big cock continued to ease into your throat, feeling the way you so fervently sucked him off. The sole sounds of skin slapping against skin, the slurping of your mouth around Ghost's cock, and the mixture of moans of the three of you filled the room. You'd be lucky if nobody heard you all.

Your jaw was beginning to become sore, practically enforcing it to unhinge just to take him to so deep. If anything, you'd been astonished at both of their stamina, not yet even orgasming a single time, while you were about to unravel for a third.

Though, it seemed that your point was going to be disproven, as you felt Price's pace begin to falter. Not only this, but what he'd been saying had been totally radical and not like him at all.

"Fuck, you're squeezin' me, so," He cursed, his words stringing along pathetically as his thrusts were brutal and unforgiving. "so fuckin' tight, oh, fuck..." You wished that you'd been able to see his facial expressions, twisting into the purest of pleasure, getting lost inside of your soft pussy.

They were alike in that regard, being rather talkative during sex. But otherwise, they each had their own stark differences. They were both stern, used to leading others and ensuring the safety of their team. But Price was so gentle and warm to you, while Ghost was harsh and cold. But you'd chase after him in the heaviest of coats regardless, because although your feelings had been conflicting, you couldn't fathom not being at his side.

Your eyes finally made contact with Ghost's, who had been looking down at you the entirety of the time whilst he'd been lodged down your throat. His hand twitched, pointer finger reaching outwards, such a small movement, yet you'd seen it. He yearned for you, just as you'd yearned for him.

So why was it so painful for the both of you, then?

Price doubled over you, thrusts becoming sloppy as his fat cock continued to ram into your womb again and again. He chanted the same thing over and over again, low and gruff, lost on both you and Ghost, unfortunately.

"Ah, fuck, so close, 'm so fuckin' close, sweetheart." His forehead connected to the back of your midsection, the drag of him against your wet heat snug and deep inside you almost had you finishing once again, too.

He suddenly moaned, loud, louder than any you've coaxed from him tonight. It had even caught the attention of Ghost, his eyes piercing his leader, his stare challenging.

"Not inside."

You whimpered, muffled whilst your mouth had been occupied by his twitching length. He looked down at you for a brief second, brows furrowed and looking angered. So irate with the thought of not only another individual fucking you, but finishing inside of you, claiming you in the most primal and raw way.

The reason, it had been unknown. Why he had continued to parade around and act like you weren't his. Then, behind closed doors own and operate you like a marionette. But, he had been the most experienced puppeteer you'd ever seen, manoeuvring you in the most expert ways.

Much to your dismay, Price had listened, hammering shallowly into your pussy once, twice, thrice- before hurriedly pulling out of you, stroking himself with ferocity before groaning deeply, releasing his seed onto your naked back in thick and pretty white ropes. He hadn't moved, hands still attached to your hips as he tried to catch his breath, bare chest heaving while he had been covered in a thin sheet of sweat.

"Did so good, fuckin' wonderful." He kissed the back of your neck, reaching under to circle your clit in tight and smooth motions. You let out a muted cry, arching your back and pushing your hips towards him in an unconscious effort.

Price had continued to infinitely praise you, kissing all over your body and leaving light marks. Not like the kind Ghost would make, the kind that were deep and horrendous to view, no. The ones that would be light, would have you lightly touching the area and reminiscing about such a night.

"Yeah, she- fuck, did. Did a good job."

You'd been wholeheartedly shocked that Ghost would ever say anything remotely like this, directed towards you, of all people. It didn't matter though, you'd take any little victories at this point.

Price continued to slip his fingers into your pussy and rub your clit, just as you'd continued to lick and suck at Ghost's cock. Lips pursing around his tip, sucking between a fine line of harshly and softly, watching and hearing him respond to your ministrations.

It was when you'd taken him as deep as you could, when he'd loudly cursed, hands itching to touch you, yet confined and shackled to their place at the armrest. His cock twitched inside of your mouth and again, another string of words, unintelligible to you, left his covered lips. You took him deep, feeling his cum in your throat.

"Swallow, fuckin' swallow it for me."

You would listen, as always.

You took him out of your mouth, still semi-hard, dick shiny with your saliva. You swallowed his seed, not allowing a single drop of it to be wasted. You opened your mouth to show him, revelling in the deep hum he let out, pleased.

When Price had curled his fingers inside of you, brushing up against that abused spot inside of you, you silently finished over his fingers. Crying out quietly to him, head hanging low in between Ghost's thick legs.

You stayed like that for a moment, hearing as Price had cleaned himself, picking up his loosely discarded clothing scattered around the ground. After dressing himself, he then moved to tidy his office, and even you up. The soft rag against you had felt nice, and the caring effort from Price was enough to make your head spin.

You and Ghost hadn't moved, his hands not on you, and yours not on him. No matter how much they each had wanted to find their way to both you and him. They would never, only doing so in moments of passion.

What neither of you had been aware of, was that even though many of your behaviours had deviated from one another, your convoluted feelings remained the same for each other. Something that was painfully obvious to other individuals.

Never to you.

Never to him.

[hobiebrownismygod]

I think you have talked about this before, if so, i’m sorry for ask, but what about a more in deep analysis on Pavitr’s personality and why he’s not some emasculated uwu boy, especially for the ones who wants to write about him

I actually haven't talked about this before, so thanks for the idea! Hopefully what I wrote answers your ask properly, and if not pls let me know! <3

I made two posts to answer your question, the first being this post and another being an analysis on Pavitr's personality which I'll post as soon as I finish it. Let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list or if you would like a specific place for me to post it! I'll link it here once I've written it <3

Stop Writing Pavitr As An Emasculated uwu Boy

He's not.

So why do people write Pavitr Prabhakar this way in the first place? The main reason is:

Internalized Toxic Masculinity

We as a society have become so used to seeing men being aggressive and brooding, ESPECIALLY male superheroes. We see a lot of superheroes like Batman who're extremely broody, don't talk a lot, and are overall the strong silent type. We have superheroes like Captain America who never cry, rarely get angry, and rarely show vulnerability. In general, celebrated male characters in the media tend to be dominant and aggressive, because those are the traits that society has decided make men men.

Note: I'm not saying that these characters never show emotion and I'm not saying every celebrated male character is like this, I'm just explaining the connections between what I've noticed and the research I've done on the symptoms of toxic masculinity

Gender norms have corrupted our understanding of what it is to be masculine. Women are expected to be polite, calm, accommodating, and take good care of the way they look. Men are expected to be bold, aggressive and strong. Women are supposed to spend a lot of time on their hair and clothes, while men don't care about those things. Men are supposed to spend their days watching sports and wrestling, but women aren't interested in those things.

Because of these celebrated norms, when people see a character that cares about the way they look, is optimistic, calm, caring, sweet, they immediately think that that character is feminine. Why? Because we've been told that women are all those qualities and men are not. We've been told that women are kind and sweet while men are bold and strong.

So how does this connect to Pavitr's characterization in the media?

Note: This does not apply to headcanons. If you want to headcanon him as trans, as a femboy, or some other OOC thing, feel free to do so. This is specifically for people trying to write him accurately.

Pavitr was introduced as an excited, carefree young boy who's optimistic, kind, funny, etc. He talks about his hair, he openly talks about his relationship with his girlfriend, Gayatri, he swings around by dancing and doing poses, and has a love for street dogs.

He is not portrayed as bold, aggressive, dominant, competitive or stoic. He is not effortlessly attractive and he cares about the way he looks, and he cares about how he presents himself. He is not self-sufficient and he talks about living with his aunt, having friends, having a girlfriend, and the Spider Society.

These are all traits which traditionally masculine men portray, but Pavitr does not.

But does this make him feminine?

NO.

Having feminine qualities does not make you completely feminine. Having masculine qualities does not make you completely masculine. Just because you have one or two feminine qualities, it doesn't mean your entire personality and actions are all going to be feminine.

Pavitr portrays some feminine qualities. However, he also proves that he is strong, quick-thinking, tough, and sarcastic. Are these are traditionally feminine traits? No. But, people are ignoring all these qualities and switching them to turn him into an emasculated femboy, which just isn't accurate.

Note: The same thing happens vice versa where a female character will show a couple of masculine traits and people will say she's trans, or just call her a bitch because she's "aggressive" which is extremely sexist and a product of years worth of internalized misogyny.

Just because he likes the way he looks, doesn't mean he's gay.

Just because he dances when he swings, doesn't mean he's a femboy.

Just because he has a colorful suit doesn't mean he's an uwu boy.

Stop feeding into gender norms and write characters properly. Write him like the 13/14 year old Indian boy he is, and integrate the qualities he has in the movie to make him accurate! If you don't know how to write him, ask an Indian writer how to make him accurate to his character! Ask an Indian fan how they believe Pavitr would act and I promise you, it'll be twice as accurate as whatever random headcanons people are placing onto him right now.

Why is this harmful?

Lets talk about SOUTH ASIAN REPRESENTATION.

For the longest time, South Asians have been portrayed on screen as nerdy techies, comedians, cabbies or corner-store owners. These inauthentic portrayals of South Asians, especially Indians are harmful to the South Asian narrative and help further negative stereotypes about our race and our culture.

South Asian culture has been portrayed by Hollywood as dirty, overly traditional, and movies representing South Asian culture ten to be Oscar-baiting movies made by white men that border on poverty porn.

There are few and I mean FEW well-made and well-researched South Asian characters in the media. I'd say two of the only well-written Indian characters in western media right now are Kingo from Eternals and Ali from Squid Game and even they have kinks they need to work out.

PAVITR IS IMPORTANT TO US!!

We finally got a South Asian character who speaks Hindi, lives in India, eats and drinks South Asian cuisine, has a South Asian girlfriend and a suit that screams cultural representation! His character was written by Indian writers and contained elements of India that aren't poking fun at our culture and our traditions!

He is REPRESENTATION.

So represent him properly.

Write him properly

For the brown kids that never got to see a superhero that looked like them when they were growing up.

As always, sources under the cut <3

[earthtooz]

ok so, i thought i was done talking about 'kiss me' in the tags but apparently I AM NOT

(also it might be my the first time in your inbox so hi! :))

first of all, the way you wrote the kissing scenes was SO GOOD. I said it in the tags but writing it in a way that is descriptive enough to let the reader know what's going on, but not too much to take the momentum out of it is a task i have yet to master, but you did it so well!

I'm also always a sucker for the whole - oh well if we don't want to be discovered i guess we just HAVE to make out as a cover -wait why is this kind of good and WHY is my heart beating so fast? -

the kiss behind the ear was also a personal favourite (and the hand kiss with eye contact?! the sluttiest thing a regency era man can do, abut it works WONDERFULLY well in this context)

i also really like that you didn't make the insecurity about the way the character looked in general, bit rather about how the outfit looked on them!

i hope you have a good day!

#i tried looking up when handkisses became a thing but couldnt find any concrete dates idk if regency era is correct SORRY

HELP, PLS CONTINUE, I AM ENABLING U IN UR RAMBLES !!!

(also, hi!! welcome to my inbox :D hope u had a lovely time typing up this ask!) i'm going to put a read more for this post bc it's gonna be rly long and i don't wanna block up ppl's dashes more than i already do <3

THANK YOU!!!!!!!! ugh your reassurance that i had a good balance of emotional and descriptive blurbs is really gratifying because u know what i spent majority of my time doing. PANICKING IF I WAS GOING TOO OVERBOARD ON THE DESCRIPTION OR EMOTION?!??!?! i also spent a good time pondering my word choice so the fact that you can read it clearly and it's not a bother makes me vvvv relieved.

YES the first kiss- imma be honest i had NO idea why i got the inclination to start a damn fic like that but hey, i did, and nothing could stop me ig. the kiss behind the ear was personal, i have to agree bc it... was really personal for me... it was for me okay... i wrote that part for myself... and the hand kissing part, hand kisses are my fav.

and (grown-up) bakugou is a slut so indeed, i had to make him do the, as you said: SLUTTY REGENCY MAN THING. but thank u! i'm glad u liked how i incorporated it!!!

the insecurity part was something i had to tread really lightly because i really didn't want to make it sound like reader was criticising aspects of themselves that might make it personal for a lot of people. the last thing i want is for people to feel uncomfortable with my fic, and more important, uncomfortable in their own body bc everyone is genuinely gorgeous - unless you're mean and have an ugly heart then... not so much. also since i write gn!readers, i also need to be careful about how i'm talking about the outfit so that anyone who reads it can put their own perceptions on it 😭 i don't want m!readers to read that they're wearing a dress and grow uncomfortable during the fic- that's my worst nightmare 😭 so in short: i'm glad that the whole outfit scene reached across as how you perceived it; a comment on the outfit rather than the person!

thank you for popping into my inbox, friend. feel free to talk to me again, no matter if it's just random bs you'd like to say, i'm open to hear (almost) everything- esp since you're so nice 😣😣😣😣😣 you have a lovely day too!!!!!

[rubbersoles19]

Fic summary: After the fire, after the lair, after making her choice, Christine remains haunted by the decision, and the ghost that forced it upon her. She sees him everywhere, and hears his voice, feeling him continue to tug at her heart and at sing to her mind. However, it's been a year since the Opera Populaire burned down, and there hasn't been a single sign of her angel, living or dead, besides the ones conjured up by her own madness. Raoul, try as he might, has been powerless to help her. He's stayed by her side, assured her the Phantom will never hurt her, and taken out loan after loan from Philippe, his brother, to help her, but not even he can save her from her own mind. Word, then, reaches them about a doctor in America that might be able to help, and the two leave the hurt of Paris behind in desperate hopes to find a new home, and new life.

But can madness, like ghosts, really ever die?

Author’s Notes: I've been planning this series for quite a while, but only recently decided to start writing it out. This is a long series, and long stories, so stay tuned for updates.Also, I'm publishing the chapters in real time as I write them over in my discord server, "Disdain and Ecstasy", and all are welcome to join! 

I've never read the books, but have obsessively consumed as much of the canon as I can, though my heart lies in the ALW!musical. Since I think all adaptions have plenty to offer, I've decided to marry different bits and parts from the different canons together in to make this universe. The roots, however, lie in the ALW!Musical, and I consider the cast from the 25th Anniversary Concert as the canon for this, including Sierra Boggess as Christine, Hadley Fraser as Raoul, and, of course, Ramin Karimloo as The Phantom. You don't have to adopt these actors for yourself, but there's my reference for them. :)

I'll update these as I can, but again, you can watch the live time updates in my Discord. Onward to victory! And lots of Angst of all descriptions.

@another-chorus-girl @operaofthephantom @eriks-stale-breadstick

[jikisbunny]

Pairing: Tamaki Amajiki x reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 7266 words Warnings: 18+, Smut, unedited, Oral (male receiving), creampie, slight coercion, some overstim, edging, non-con( Forced to cum inside), breeding, vaginal penetration, nipple play, manipulation, small amount of cock warming, if theres something you don't see tagged pls lemme know.

MDNI 18+

Scenario: Bimbo reader falls head over heels in love with Amajiki and wants to thank him for tutoring her

I'm so nervous to post this oh my lord 😭 I haven't written since early high school so if my writing is shit I'm sorry!!!! But I hope its decent enough for y'all to enjoy!

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Standing in front of your dorm mirror, you admire your crafty work once again. Instead of your usually multiple layered pink outfits, you slip on something comfy but easily removable. A small tank top and shorts that are also way too small. It's the perfect tutoring outfit for you. You put on some gloss and fix your hair a bit to still look somewhat presentable and put together. While staring at yourself in the mirror, your mind starts to wander off on how tonight will play out.

Images of different positions he could put you in and what he'd look like sinking into your warmth for the first time flood your mind and instantly make you wet. You start to think about Amajiki and how muscly his body must be. Although he is skinny and somewhat scrawny, he still works out just as much as Mirio and has the muscle to prove it.

When you'd join the Big 3 at the gym, you'd lazily walk the treadmill while watching Amajiki work out from afar—occasionally jogging a Lil so your boobs would bounce and didn't stop until Amajiki turned bright red from staring at you for too long. You'd ask him to spot you while doing some barbell squats to brush against him with every squat purposely. He'd be lifting weights with Mirio, and you'd offer to spot him when it was so that you could let him lay his head on your lap so he could stare up at your tits for encouragement. It also allowed you to rub your hands all over his chest and shoulders, feeling up his muscle for the first time. You never really like muscle on men, but it was so attractive on him. Unless you saw him at the gym, you'd never know he was built underneath his uniform, and it was almost like an exciting secret for only you to know about. You'd kept giving him little compliments for him to blush over.

"You're so strong, Jiki! I bet you could lift me with no issue!" you flash him a cute smile with an intense dazed look cause you are just so infatuated with him. He returns your comment with a smile, and of course, he's blushing

You loved how intense he was when he didn't even realize it. Being a part of The Big 3, you'd assume his confidence would be through the roof, but you loved that he doesn't even know how huge he is. It gives you more reason to gush over how amazing he is. Every time you did, he'd get so flustered acting like he wasn't the best of the whole school. At this point, you couldn't tell if you were in love with him or the way you affected him, but it didn't matter.

A small knock at the door snapped you back to reality and you rushed to the door. Before opening you stood on your tip toes to look through the eyehole and saw Amajiki standing there with a stack of books. You smiled wildly at the thought of him actually thinking you were just gonna study tonight. He was so innocent you loved it. Before opening the door you twirled a couple pieces of hair and hiked your shorts up so far he'll for sure be able to see the outline of your pussy and full ass hanging out. It was a bit much but it was your dorm right? You should be able to wear what ever you want in here even if there's company over.

You opened the door just enough for your body to show and you wish you had a camera cause the look on his face was something you wanted framed up on your wall. He was obviously trying so hard to keep his eyes focused on your face but the way you kept shifting your legs to adjust your stance he couldn't help but notice everything. He was wearing black sweat pants with a white shirt and the way he lowered his arms to cover his front with the stack of books you predicted he wasn't wearing boxers. Perfect.

"Hi Jiki! I'm so glad you came by! Come in!" There was no way he thought you were this excited about studying you hoped.

"H-hi y/n, I brought all our current class text books....just incase we wanted to go over a bit of everythi-" Although his stammering is so adorable you just wanted him inside and in you already.

"Yeah that sounds great!" You exclaimed before leaning forward to grip his shoulder and pull him in.

Shutting the door behind you and locking it just incase. Neijri had a habit of barging in for random late night drama talks. You guide him deeper into your dorm before leaving him in the middle to go clean off your small futon. There was a desk but only one chair and the futon was a better spot for your planned activities. Leaning over the back of the futon you start pushing pillows and blanket off to the side to make room for the both of you purposely swaying your ass hoping he's watching. When your done you whip around to find him red in the face again, ears red as well. Even though he's seen you bend over with no panties he still can't help it and you adored it.

"Is everything okay Jiki?" You say nonchalantly, trying to stay oblivious to your little game. He gulps hard and nervously looks somewhere else besides you.

"Y-yeah, everything is fine. W-we should get s-started before it gets to late...d-don't you think?" You can't help but blush as well at how hard we was trying to be respectful of you. No matter how much you put yourself out there for him he never once treated you differently or made rude gestures towards you. He was simply just going along with your oblivious and dumb nature assuming all your lewd acts were just innocent and never meant to be taken in a sexual way.

"Oh yeah totally, come sit!" You plop down on one side and pat the other motioning him to take the seat. He slowly makes his way over and sets the books down on the small side table first before also plopping down next to you.

Once he got comfortable you immediately did as well by swinging your legs over his lap and scooting closer so your chest leans against his shoulder. He tenses up and gives you a quick glance followed by an audible swallow. You continue on with the innocent act.

"Are you sure your okay Jiki? You've seem so nervous since you've step into my room. I didn't do anything wrong did it?" You said as you rest your chin on his shoulder and give your best doe eyes. His eyes instantly go wide and puts his hands up in defense.

"O-oh gosh, you have nothing to worry about! You did nothing wrong I'm...I-I'm just a bit tired that's all. Had a long day training ya know?" His excuse was a lie and you knew it but, you still played along.

"Oh well if you wanna go rest we ca- No no no no no!" A playful smirk spreads across your face. He really wanted to stay and not disappoint you.

"I-I mean, you need the help right? I don't want to be rude and leave right after I got here"

"Yes, I really, really need the help"  you said in a somewhat desperate and needy tone. Also wrapping your arms around his and looking up at him through your lashes. Making sure your tits squished into him as much as possibly.

"Don't worry, by tonight you'll have everything down in no time!" He gave a shaky nervous smile and you returned it back also with a smile.

Little did he know the only thing you'll have down by the end of tonight was his dick down your throat.

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"Jikiiiiiiii, I'm so boooored, can we move on to something else?" Your about an hour into tutoring and your mind has gone numb. You've only let it go this far because you enjoy listening to Amajiki but now your ready to dive into what you wanna do.

You were now leaning against the futons arm rest with your feet now in his lap ever so gently pressing down on his dick that was very obviously hard. You've been doing this for the past 20 minutes and he's just been silently squirming and making soft whines every so often. It was impressive how good he was at hiding it but you knew he was ready to bust at the seams just from some feet and all it did was egg you on even more to continue. He was now almost at the verge of sweating and desperately still trying to focus on the algebra page you two were working on. Once you mentioned moving on to something else he tried to take that as an opportunity to leave to rush to his own dorm and get himself off.

"A-actually, I think I-I should go. I'm feeling a little....funny" he stammers as he closes the textbook and sets it aside

"Oh no Jiki! Are you sure you're okay? Did you need to talk about something? You know you can tell me anything right?" You look concerned but in reality your jumping with glee inside knowing your about to claim your precious prize.

"Are you sure? I-I don't want to scare you o-off"'

"I promise! We're friends right? You can tell me anything Jiki and I wouldn't see you any different"  now you were sitting with your legs wide open and feet off his crotch so his hard on was visible for the both of you. By now with all your teasing and dirty thoughts you were wetter than ever and more than likely seeping through just hoping he sees your mess.

"O-okay....well...I don't know why but...but" Amajiki has never been so nervous in his entire life and if he could just disappear into thin air he definitely would've by now.

"I-I've been...hard...like, my penis is" he barely got that last part out but you understood, you just wanted to hear him admit it fully.

"I'm sorry Jiki I couldn't hear you...what did you say?"

"I-I've been h-having an erection. T-this whole time almost. I don't know why either but- Oh god, I-im sorry for saying that! I don't know what's wrong with me but I'll get going!" His face and ears were the brightest color of red you've ever seen and he looked sick to his stomach. He tried to stand up but you quickly grabbed his wrist and yanked him back down.

"Don't be sorry! I can help...if you want?" You said giving innocent eyes and scooting closer but he refused to even look at you from the embarrassment.

"What! N-no y/n I could never let you do something like that!" He was stunned at your gestured and was quick to turn you down, kinda hurting your feelings.

"But? I just wanna help? That's what friends are for right? Please Jiki?" You slide your hand over to his cheek bringing his gaze that was glued to the ground to your eyes. Giving the best pleading eyes you could to hopefully coax him into letting you help.

"It's just so...embarrassing" he said as he slumps in his seat further and letting his head hang. You slide into his lap to straddle him and cup his face in your hands to force him now to look up at you. You experimentally grind down onto him and his eyes go wide and immediately his hands fly to your hips like he was going to push you off at first until he relaxed into it. When you stopped he let out a breathy and needy whine of desperation. He was so oblivious to his own sexual needs and desires you couldn't wait to blow his mind. Flashing him a reassuring smile he manages to give you an overly anxious smile back.

"I think it's perfectly fine, besides, how else am I supposed to thank you for tutoring me?" Then before he knows it your sliding down his lap and on to the floor in between his legs.  The whole time he keeps a wide eyed stare at you, clearly no girl has come onto him before like this. You felt almost honored being the first.

"Y-you really d-dont have to do this. I-I can just leave right now a-and we can forget all about this" he made one last attempt at changing your mind and saving himself from this awkward situation but your mind was set. You laid your head against one of his thighs while your hand rubs up his other thigh slowly getting closer and closer to your desired target.

"Please Jiki? Let me suck you off? I swear I'm good at it!" You beg and plead with him only to get another flustered and nervous smile. He was so unsure of what he wanted you could just see the internal battle happening behind his eyes as you stared into them.

Growing impatient you lifted yourself up a bit to lean closer towards his face and hover your lips just above his. You stay there for a second letting both of you breath each other in and stare into each other's eyes. He occasionally glanced down to your lips and back up to your eyes waiting in anticipation for what you'll do next. He only grew more and more nervous with how close you were and couldn't find it within himself to just let go. Never being in a situation like this before he had no clue how to go about it and wasn't sure if this was a normal thing for friends to do but you looked almost hurt when he denied your offer and the last thing he wants to do is hurt your precious feelings. Finally breaking the silence you spoke up

"Please Tamaki?" Said in the softest and sweetest voice you could possibly give as a final attempt to convince him. To seal the deal you give a small and gentle kiss to his lips. Moving back to your spot on the floor you kept your gaze up at him and his shocked facial expression waiting for an answer. Shifting his eyes back and forth between you, his hard on, and the textbooks he finally takes in one final breath to calm himself down before answering.

"O-okay...g-go ahead."

In an instant, you were tugging his sweats down, and as you suspected, he had no boxers on. His cock sprang free and smacked against his abdomen, making him hiss and whimper from the impact. Giggling at his reaction, you take a second to stare and admire what you sought after most. For someone his size, you weren't expecting him to be so big. He was girthy in the middle with a narrow base and thick head. The tip was an angry shade of red and you could visibly see his shaft throb, begging for stimulation. You watch it bob slightly for a second more before reverting your eyes up to him to hold eye contact and loll your tongue out. Grabbing the base of him, you squeeze gently, and he rolls his hips into your hold. He was so sensitive. You give him a few small pumps at the base before guiding it towards your face and letting it rest against your tongue. Still keeping eye contact with Amajiki, you keep a tight grip at the bottom and slowly move your head up and down the tip. Licking him like a lollipop and watching him grow more and more desperate had you also throbbing.

As embarrassed as he was, Amajiki couldn't turn away from the pornographic scene playing out before him. You, between his legs, tits almost spilling out of your top, straps fallen on the side, eyes filled with lust, pupils blown out, and drool dripping down the corners of your mouth. He wanted to run out and back to his dorm room but he couldn't believe how good this felt. Every touch had him gasping and holding his breath trying hard not to prematurely explode in your face not like you would mind it at all. Still watching you lick him like a kitten he started to grow even more whiny and fussy with your current pace. However you enjoyed watching him struggle to keep a steady breath and didn't care to accommodate his needs just yet. You continue the small licks on his head and give him a sly smile, enjoying how your teasing affects him. A few more minutes pass of you sweetly licking his tip almost raw and Amajiki is damn near in tears. His cock was now hot, heavy, and pulsing in your hand practically begging for release. The tip was some how even more red than before and swollen. At this point you had to push all your weight onto his thighs to get him to stop squirming until he cried out

"Please! P-please please please" his voice was breathy and a higher pitch. He looked so worn out and you haven't even sucked him properly yet. Cute. Keeping innocent you stop what your doing and give him those doe eyes like before.

"Sorry Jiki. Is this not good enough?" You say in a sad and defeated tone, still stroking his cock.

"N-no! I-I mean! It's great! It's just not enough. I don't want to push you though!" He exclaimed, trying to address his needs while still making sure your wanting to do this. He was so sweet and it only made you wanna fuck him even more.

"If you want me to swallow your cock just say that already silly, here hold on" you giggle before sliding your tank top all the way off and letting your boobs fall and bounce lightly. Amajiki attention immediately went to your chest and you even blushed a little.

"S-sorry, I won't look" he said taking notice of your sudden shyness

"Oh No your okay Jiki! I want you to look at them" then before he knows it his cock is resting between your tits and bucks his hips up at the sudden friction making his tip hit you in the face.

"S-sorry! I-I don't know what came over me" he apologized and slumped back into the futon feeling incredibly bad but you just replied with a sweet laugh.

"Your okay! You don't need to apologize, I think it's adorable how greedy your pretty cock is Jiki" he became even more embarrassed by your lewd words and tried hiding his face. This displeased you a bit.

"Jiki how am I supposed to know if you like it if you aren't even looking at me?" You pout but he's quick to fix that with resuming eye contact.

You squish your tits together around his shaft and start pumping up and down listening closely to the beginning of stifled whines. You continue this for a minute then wrap your lips around his tip to go along with it. He jerks his hips up at the sudden contact and for the first time tonight let's out an audible moan. It was a shaky and hesitant moan but it was one you'll be remember forever. You move your tits from his shaft and replace them with your hands ,mouth still on his tip, and start moving in motion keeping at a steady pace. Hollowing your cheeks out the best you can around his head practically trying to milk him of everything he's got and your impressed he's held out this far. Amajiki is a moaning and writhing mess and still tries his absolute best to keep his hips from bucking up into your mouth. How sweet of him you thought.

Amajiki gasps loudly when you suddenly dip down and attempt to swallow him whole, just like you said. With his thick middle it took a few tries to get it all the way down your throat but you used this as an opportunity to get messy. Slobbering all over his cock to help it ease down your throat better only to gag around him until feeling the need to puke and you pull back up to focus on his tip again. Your spit drips down his shaft and onto his balls and bush making a mess all over Amajikis front. It only took a few more attempts before his girth breached your tight throat and your nose was buried into his purple tuff of hair. It felt incredibly warm and tight and it was a whole new sensation for him. Feeling you swallow around him was kinda disgusting to him but it felt thrilling and watching you do it was an unsuspected turn on for him too. Seeing you with his cock nestled in your throat with big wide innocent eyes staring up at him and tits out was going to be all he could think of for weeks. Leading back up to the tip you swirl around and suckle on it a bit more until you can taste his pre cum and dive down again to the his hairy base before swallowing around him continuously. He was so close and you could hear it clearly in his moans and whines. With no plans of coming up until he cums down your throat Amajiki suddenly started trying to push you off of him.

"S-stop y/n p-please I'm going to cum, Y-you can stop now" His voice was trembling and small, hips uncontrollably jerking up into your mouth in small movements. He may want you to stop but his body didn't want you to.

"No no no! P-please y/n I-i don't w-want to in your mouth....'s gross" at this point he was pushing your head off him hard even if he was humping into you. Not bothering to let up you continue to swallow around him and resist his attempt to pull you off.

"O-Oh g-god y/n, I-i...I think im going to c-cum. P-please! i-ill do it anywhere else" And with that you take his begging into consideration letting up and focusing heavily on the tip for as long as you could before he started digging his feet into your stomach to get you off. Pulling off with a small pop he immediately let out a sigh of relief but it quickly followed by strings of whimpers and groans, his dick was desperately needing to release and you didn't doubt that it was hurting him. Wiping off your face you give him a little smile with one hand still on his cock and you give him a small squeeze around the tip making him jerk away.

" Ow! Ow! Dont! I-it hurts so badly" He cries out and you notice a single tear fall down his red cheek.

"Awww Jiki, Im sorry I didn't mean to hurt you!" You climbed up his lap to straddle him, feeling his cock rub against your wet heat making you shiver. You ignore it and continue your focus on Amajiki. Cupping his face into your hands you wipe away the tear trail on his cheek and start peppering small kisses on his face to apologize. Giggling while doing so and him getting shy and flustered again. You sit up and balance yourself using his shoulders to look him in the eyes before speaking

"I know you dont wanna cum down my throat but we can still continue....if ya want? I kinda wanna get off still and I know you still definitely need to. If you want I can do something else?" at the end of your sentence you gently plop down on his dick and lean into his chest hoping he got the hint.

"Y-yeah s-sure, just...anything but that" he made an attempt to give you a reassuring smile but you knew the affect sitting on his dick like this had on him. You lightly squeal in excitement at what was to come next. You get up from straddling him to remove your soaked shorts and tossed them aside before returning back to your original position on his lap. His eyes go wide when he realizes what your about to do next.

"W-wait! I shouldve said this before but....but..i-im a v-virgin" Going red in the face for the millionth time tonight Amajiki couldn't believe he admitted that. Not even Neijri and Mirio know about him being a virgin and they've known him for years! For you it was like finding a diamond in the rough.

"Thats okay! I'll do everything so all you gotta do is sit there, look cute, and enjoy it. I promise you'll be fine. Okay Jiki?" You gently cupped his face and stared at him with adoration, hoping it was enough to reassure him that being a virgin didn't matter.

Taking the chance you lean in and give him a gentle kiss on the lips, leaving him love drunk on you and wanting more of your tenderness. When you pull back he gives you a smile, signaling for you to continue. You give one last peck on his nose before rising up to hover over his needy cock. Grabbing him lightly and guiding him towards your entrance you rub him against your clit making you both shudder from the friction then, you line him up and sink down. The initial stretch of his shaft made you wince a bit but nothing you couldn't power through. Amajiki throws his head back and let's out a breathy and loud moan, chest rising up and down heavily, it felt even better than your throat. You on the other hand are also in pure ecstasy, his cock filling you up in all the right places, hot, and throbbing inside you. Placing your hands on his chest to balance yourself while you adjust to him and experimentally grind down taking him in further.

"Feel good Jiki?" You moan, he tilts his head back up, looking flushed and tired.

"Y-yeah" he gulps nervously

"I-it feels really good. S-so warm" he added before throwing his head back again, completely engulfed in pleasure.

Without warning you start to bounce on him slowly at first and then eventually you start putting all your weight into it, slamming down on his cock full force. If you were to have it your way, he'd be behind you giving it to you full force, but you honestly don't think he could handle the task of giving just yet. He was just a shy boy with a big dick who didn't know how to use it. Besides, you kind of liked the new dominating position of being on top. It also suited Amajiki better being at the bottom. Keeping at a steady pace still you slow down to change to a grinding motion, trying to keep him as deeply seated within you as possible. Really taking your time in feeling how deep and hot he is inside you. Now you were the one whining and squirming to cum but having to do all the work yourself and getting tired quickly it was hard to focus on getting there. Making small adjustments to your posture and arching to angle him against your g spot better and crying out a high-pitch moan when it finally hit. Sending a deep tingle straight into your stomach and melting you on his cock. Letting your head fall back and now grinding at an agonizing slow place for the both of you, panting heavily as you relish in the sweet feeling.

Mid way riding you notice Amajiki starting to lose focus on enjoying it and getting too far into his head. He looked so tense and unsure what to do this far into fucking. His arms were awkwardly at his side, unaware of where to place them. Eyes frantically searching for a place to look whenever he thinks he's been staring at one spot for too long. You had to cut him some slack at least for being a virgin but you wanted him to enjoy himself, not worry about what he's doing wrong or right. Moving your hands from his chest you glide them up to his shoulders and then behind his neck to get him to focus on you more than his thoughts.

"Ya know, you're super cute, and you look so adorable when I ride you" you start, Amajiki trying hard to focus on your words.

"And your dick feels amazing, kinda honored to be the first to sit on it" He's quickly red in the face again and not sure how to respond either. No one's ever talked to him before in this manner and he never thought he'd be in a situation like this. However you still try to get him to respond and interact.

"Your face is so pink and flustered haha, is it cause of my tits in your face?" Still silent, you watch him switch between staring at your face and tits.

"You can suck on em if ya want? I know you wanna." You gesture to him, only to get him silent and blushing again.

Getting frustrated you stop riding and sit perfectly still, feeling his cock throb inside you making you beam with pride at how far you've pushed him into the deep end. Grabbing his chin to look up at you instead of your tits and you could see the yearning in his eyes to let go.  You lean forward slowly sliding off his cock making him whimper slightly under your hold. Only being an inch away from his lips you give him a devilish smirk.

"Although it is so cute You don't have to be so shy around me."

You lean forward even more, and you glide your other hand up his stomach and chest making him shiver. Only his tip is in still and the little noises he is making from desperation were just too cute for you to handle. Your lips are now an inch away from his ear and you give a cute giggle before continuing your sentence. Amajiki was trembling at this point.

"You do have me bouncing on your cock, don't you? Do whatever your mind wants and let go. Trust me you'll enjoy it more than you are now"

You lean back suddenly, falling back onto his aching cock pulling a moan from both of you. You resume bouncing slightly on his dick again before suddenly feeling hands wrap around you and jerk you forward towards Amajiki. His face is now full of your tits and he's in heaven. First kissing all over them and squeezing them firmly but trying not to hurt you. Then kept all his attention on your hard buds. Licking and sucking on them with an occasional bite here and there.

You'd never expected him to love tits so much.

"God your so good at this Jiki. You sure this is your first?" You moan out, trying to give a little laugh, one hand tangled in his hair while the other rests on his knee for support while he leans into your chest.

While still sucking on your nipple you can feel one of his hand starts to creep around to your ass and give a squeeze, surprising you with the sudden confidence from him.

"You seem to be warming up now huh?" you ask and he gives your nipple a tug gently with his teeth as a response.

From there on Amajiki wasn't so shy. He let his hands roam all over your body, groping your ass, gripping your hips, and squeezing your tits. Reaching up to snake a hand to the back of your neck and kissing you much harder than when you gently kissed him. Even going as far as guiding you with his other hand to stay at his desired pace becoming a bit greedy. You guide his hand that was on your neck to your cunt, putting his palm on your stomach and positioning his thumb right over your clit. Guiding him at first to get an idea of what to do and he caught on quickly, enjoying the way you start writhing on top of him and clenching around him. Not only did it bring you pleasure but the way it made you squeeze around him made it seem more like it was for him and didn't plan to stop rubbing your clit any time soon.

You however, were near finishing and his continuous play with your clit was becoming almost too much to handle. Breaths for you became quick and short with pitchy loud moans and your sure the girl next door to you can hear. Without warning Amajiki pushed harder on your clit making you wail out and kick your feet at the over stimulating feeling. Your stomach feels suddenly tight and the warm tingle in your cunt becomes intense. Between him guiding your hips and abusing your clit it all becomes too much too quickly so you try to slow him down

"H-hey" You gulp, voice sounding hoarse, he didn't even acknowledge you. Still rubbing harsh circles and slamming your hips down.

"T-tamaki, I-I...I-m about to-" But before you could finish your sentence your orgasm took over making you fall towards Amajiki. Quickly pulling his hand away from your hip and clit letting you go limp, becoming slightly concerned at your current state thinking he possibly hurt you. Your moans turned into gasps and strings of slurred words not even you could understand. Still trying your best to ride him your body twitches and hips jerk having trouble keeping a steady motion. When the intense feeling subsides, you lay on top of him with closed eyes to rest for a moment before getting back to riding him. His ear it full of your cute little breathy moans, trying hard to regulate your breathing to get some words out.

"Holy fuck" You breathed out while laughing.

"Y-your okay? R-right?" Amajiki chimed in, snapping you out of your daze

"Im perfectly fine Jiki, you just made me cum thats all" you giggle, peppering kisses along his neck

"I-i made you cum?" he almost sounded shocked, and you even kind of were too since you didn't plan on cumming this early. You sit up and move your hands to the side of his head, placing them on the back of the couch to use as grip in a moment.

"Mmmhm, now its your to cum" you say, giving him a smirk before pushing back down onto him. His eyes go wide, forgetting about that next part.

Your quick to start up a brutal pace again, using the back of the futon as leverage to really put all your weight into each bounce. He didn't have much longer to last and you could tell by how squirmy he was getting like before when you sucked him off. His breathing also getting hard to maintain and moaning like no other. You'd purposely clench around him to push him closer to the edge and to watch his face contort from the intense pleasure. Switching from bouncing to grinding you lean forward a little to get closer to his face, staring deeply into his eye, drinking up his fucked out face.

"You're going to get o-off right? I-i think im...i-m going to cum soon" He stutters out, throwing his head back at the end, he can't see it but you have a devilish smile plastered to your face.

"mmmmm, nope" the moment the word left your mouth Amajiki's head came flying back up with wide eyes

"W-what!? B-but i'll..i'll get it in you a-and i don't think t-that'll be good, d-dont you think y/n?" and there he goes reverting right back to his shy and nervousness.

"Thats like, the whole point. Come on Jiki it'll be okay, just fill me up. I wanna feel your cum deep in me so badly" You whine at his comment, this is literally what you've been wanting this whole time and the fact that he didn't even want to give it to you made you start pouting slightly.

"N-no p-please y/n I-i don't think I should do that. I-i'll do it in your mouth, j-just...please?" He begged. You immediately start pouting and picking your pace up to finish him off inside you quicker.

"B-but..you said that you'll do it anywhere else" you give him a pouty face, trying hard to look displeased knowing that he'll do anything to not disappoint you.

Without another word from him except for whines and whimpers you continue grinding down on him, making sure he's as deep as possible with in you. Giving your best performance possible you could tell it had the desired effect you wanted because he could not keep still or keep quiet, and he once again started trying to push you off his lap. That only made you go harder knowing how close he was to spilling it all inside you, you might cum again just thinking about it. Remembering your hero training you plant yourself firmly on the futon and brace yourself for the onslaught of pushing to come soon from Amajiki.

"y/n p-please, i-i don't want to cum in you" he was begging you at this point, it was only cute to you.

"Come on I know ya wanna, don't you wanna breed my little pussy? Make it yours? Ever since ive met you it's all ive been thinking about" you say in the best seductive tone you had, leaning down towards his face now, putting all your weight on top of him to hold him down. Biting your lip seductively as you stare into his pleading eyes. As much as Amajiki wanted to stop and not cum in you something in the way you spoke and move just wouldn't let him fully regain control and pull you off. He knew it was wrong in so many ways but he couldn't find the strength to do anything but enjoy it. He was harshly gripping your hips, ready to yank you off if needed but It all just felt too good for him.

"I'd love nothing more than to walk around Campus with Tamaki Amajiki's cum dripping down my thighs. Please Jiki? Pretty please?" you whisper into his ear and he cries out

"Fuck n-no no no!" before releasing all inside you, his body betraying him and jerking up into you for more. He gave one last loud moan before whining at the fact that he just came in you, giving another failed attempt to weakly push you off even though it was too late.

You shiver at how warm his cum is and how much there was of it. You could feel little drops leaking out and sliding down your thighs. Dipping your head into his neck to catch your breath from all the work and he was to catching his while coming down from his first intense high. Finally giving up on trying to get you off he let his hands rest on your thighs while you pepper more kisses on his neck and face and cockwarm his soften cock, trying to keep all his cum plugged in you. You both lay together for a moment to rest before unsticking yourself from his sweaty chest to look down at him breathing heavily, still shocked at what just happened.

"I-I...cant believe I just did that" he groaned covering his face with his hands from either shame or embarrassment. Probably both you assumed. You take his hands off his face to reveal him blushing again, making you giggle.

" Yep, ya sure did cutie and I really enjoyed it" You smile before leaning in to kiss him. He hesitated at first but eventually leaned into it, closing his eyes and following your movements.

After a minute you pull away and start slowly lifting yourself off of him, making him produce tiny sounds, he was probably still sensitive. When you were fully standing you took a moment to regain balance before grabbing your soiled shorts and wiping yourself between your legs a bit. Amajiki still sat in the same spot on the futon and just watched you clean up, not really sure what to do after sex. He was indeed messy and needed new clothes but walking to his dorm wasn't an option. He couldn't take the chance of letting anyone see your drool all over the front of his pants and his now sweaty shirt, he must avoid any type of embarrassment. He's snapped out of his thoughts when you toss a pair of gym sweats for him to change into. He unfolds them and looks at them in surprise that you even have anything that would be wearable for him. He thanks you and quickly changes out of his dirty sweats to the new ones. Now sitting awkwardly on the couch he watches you put on another pair of shorts and tank top before you sit back down next to him ready to go to bed and possibly snuggle.

"Could I uuhh....i-is there possibly a clean shirt I could wear? T-this one's a bit gross" He asked, already back to his shy nature, but you didn't mind, it was your favorite thing about him.

"Here just take your shirt off and sleep shirtless tonight, unless you wanna wear a crop top" You joke before grabbing the hem of his shirt and tugging it off him. You throw it in your dirty clothes pile and then grab the pillow and blanket you tossed aside earlier, setting them up on the futon for the both of you. You lay down first and then motion him to lay down behind you. Even if you both just fucked he still felt vulnerable being shirtless and shy with human touch but that wasn't stopping you when you huffed and reached up for his hand to pull him down next to you.

"Come on Jiki I wanna snuggle" You pout, he notices your eagerness and obeys by laying behind you like you wanted. With the futon being so small as it was there was little to no room left between you the two of you.

"S-sorry, i've never done this before" He apologizes then hesitantly moves his arms around you to get comfy and find a comfortable cuddling position.

Before getting situated yourself you reach behind to give him another kiss and a loving smile, making him blush and also smile back. When both of you are finally settled down and comfy you can't help but smile with glee that your plan worked on Amajiki. You giggle at the fact that you got your way and was filled with his cum making you his,...........until you find another shy guy with a big dick.

[lets-make-ensemble]

ensemble girls resources: a masterlist

always wanted to get into engirls but don't know how? already into engirls but curious as to where to get official art and all that stuff?

well look no further! this masterlist is made for you!✨️ ok i'll stop it with the advertisement talk

❀ index!

translations

cards (framed and frameless), transparents and cgs

official art

ost/songs

—translations

translations are both one of the easiest and most difficult things to find with engirls, this being due to the fact there's not much translated content about it

there's already somewhat of an engirls masterlist regarding translations here !!! i don't have much to add about it,, if you can't find a specific story or something you're interested in using any of those sources, chances are it hasn't been translated yet, please have patience and stay up to date with the engirls eng twt acc to see if a translation is ever uploaded!

—cards (framed and frameless), transparents and cgs

this one kind of depends on what you're looking for

for framed cards, i recommend the ensemble girls wiki, you just gotta go into the gallery of the character you want to see cards of and boom. most cards are there!! another option is the kimisaki database, which i'll explain a bit more about in the next point

for both frameless and transparents i recommend checking the kimisaki database right here, more specifically, in the card series (カードシリーズ) section; while not all cards are there since the database still is a work in progress, it's a good replacement for the old engirls database that was taken down a couple months ago (rip)

another source for transparent versions of cards is @/sevenarchive, if you look in the ensemble girls tag you should find various transparent cards, not all of them sadly, but hey! it's smth, at least

for cgs, there is a decent chunk of engirls cgs in @/engirls-cg's blog, while not all of them are there, it's the only public source i've seen that has engirls cgs

—official art

most official art is found in the official engirls twt (@/ensemble_girls), though you'd have to look for it using keywords and stuff since the acc has A Lot of tweets,, some keywords could be:

2周年, 3周年, 5周年, 7周年; for anniversary arts

(ttm), (mm), (ck), (jk), (ro), (nk); for miscellaneous art the engirls acc has posted

though, @/nomorewhitepeople has uploaded some of engirls' official art under the #upload tag, if you check it you'll find a bit of official art and that stuff, i'm technically also doing the same but at a slower pace since i don't really like clogging up the engirls tag much

as far as i'm aware, there aren't any other sources to obtain official art

—ost/songs

by ost i mostly refer to sound effects and in-game music, that kinda stuff

for some ! story ost and sound effects, they can be found here, you can also find voicelines of some characters related to certain cards and stuff

for the special songs like the theme song, the rock band club song and the memorial song, you can find them on youtube and soundcloud!

soundcloud link for all 3 songs: ☆, the link leads to a playlist for all three songs

youtube links: let's make☆ensemble! (theme song); sacred gods above, droplet of a black moon (rock band club song); the days where you bloomed (memorial song)

the quality isn't the best, but it's the only public source where i've found the songs aside from bilibili and stuff,, also i haven't found the event and enmemo soundtracks in any public platform, so sadly those i cannot link them here. sorry!

that's pretty much all ik about engirls sources and stuff, if there's else something u want to find but isn't listed here, feel free to ask!! oh also if there's smth u think should be added to the list pls feel free to tell me!

[deusfoundry]

i'm never giving up on you — vinsmoke sanji

word count. 1.2k words

summary. sanji teaches you how to cook. chaos soon ensues.

tags. just pure fluff tbh, sanji is Whipped but when is he not

warnings. vague descriptions of minor injuries (knife cut), not proofread 😬

a/n. ive never written for sanji (and any one piece character other than law if im being honest) before so if its a little ... pls forgive me hajdhhahs also the title is a bit angsty ... dont blame me tho i just got it from a list of fluff lines prompts SKDKSKKS anyways enjoy!! <3

•••••••••

You watch Sanji from behind the bar, utterly fascinated by how he seems to glide all around the kitchen with purpose. Like he knows exactly what he needs to do. Every move, every flick of the wrist, there is intent so precise in them, you begin to wonder just how he manages to do it.

And so you ask.

“How do you do it?”

Sanji lowly hums, bringing the heat of the stove down before turning to where you’re sitting in the kitchen’s bar. He places both of his hands on the marble surface. He leans over, tall figure towering over you more than he normally would. “Do what?”

A weird feeling starts bubbling in the depths of your gut. You try to ignore it to the best of your abilities, but it's hard when Sanji's staring down at you, his eyes both intense and comforting at the same time. You feel so seen, and raw under his gaze.

It makes you squirm in your seat, just barely, and it would've gone unnoticeable to anyone else. But Sanji takes note of this and backs off a little.

You clear your throat.

"The cooking." you say, voice firm. But you realize that it might sound weird, might make you look a little dumb, so you try to explain.

"I mean, I know you've been learning about it your whole life and everything but I guess I meant, like, how are you so good at it? No that's not right. What i'm trying to say is- you know what, never mind. Forget i-"

"Hey, love, it's ok." he chuckles, an amused smile on his lips. "I get what you mean, alright? No need to get all worked up." His hands find yours, and only then do you realize that you're shaking, and your hand is freezing under his warmth. He plays around with your hand for a bit, drawing circles on your palm and rubbing the hills of your knuckles. The soft pads of his fingertips on your skin helps you calm down. The shaking stops.

"Right," you take a breath, following a quiet "Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about, love." Sanji mutters. He plants a kiss on your forehead and you flush a bright red. He turns back towards the stove and continues cooking, "And to answer your question, old man Zeff and the crappy cooks at Baratie helped a lot."

Everything becomes a blur to you after that. Your mind tunes it all out, including Sanji. You don't mean to, but it's inevitable with the way he's standing right now, body positioned in such a way that lets you see what he's cooking and a side of his face. And it is truly a sight for sore eyes.

Sanji is pretty. you think. you're sure of it. Sanji is pretty like this. When he talks about what he's passionate about, what he loves. You decide that you want to see more of it.

His lips don't stop moving and your mind is filled with thoughts of how they might feel. How soft they would be against yours.

"I can try teaching you, if you'd like?"

Your train of thought is cut off by this and you agree with a nod, still in a daze and not really sure of what you're getting yourself into. Sanji beams. He wordlessly guides you to the other side of the kitchen, hand lightly gripping your waist, and grabs an extra apron for you to wear.

You glance at him as he helps you tie a knot over your back before swiftly taking a step in front of you.

"Are you ready, y/n-san?" He smiles.

You tilt your head to the side, unsure.

"Yes?"

—

As it turns out, you weren't ready. At all.

The next thirty or so minutes that follow is what you would consider either the best or worst experience in your life.

Sanji chooses to teach you a meal he learned when he was a kid, one of the first that Zeff taught him. "It'll be fun" he says, "It's really simple, love, practically foolproof."

And though you begin to feel the anxiety creep up, you believe him. You don't have a single beat of doubt on sanji.

He hovers around you like a butterfly. He's attentive and guides you through each and every step with an imaginary encouraging hand on your back, giving you tips here and there.

But it all comes spiraling downwards when he wraps his arms around you, placing his hand over yours that's holding the knife. He opens his mouth to say something, possibly lecture you about how to properly slice the piece of vegetable, but the words are caught in his throat as he realizes what he has done.

A slight turn of his head and he is met by the sight of you. Mouth ajar similarly to his, a few beats of silence ensues.

His mere presence alone can suffocate you, but now that you are standing this close to him, you realize the true gravity of his effects on you.

You aren't sure what you should do next. You aren't sure if you should lean in, turn around and get comfortable, speak. You aren't sure of anything. Only that you're with him, sharing this moment, between the four walls that he's most comfortable in.

Sanji's grip on your hand loosens, lowering down to your waist. You're completely encased in his arms now. You shift around, your body taking a mind of its own as you try to get comfortable in his hold.

And then, it happens.

You yelp as you drop the knife onto your fingers. Tears welling in your eyes, you check and see that your fingers are (luckily) still intact. But the knife digs just enough into the flesh that you now have a wound on three of your fingers.

It fucking stings. Is all you can think of. But you can't bring yourself to act on the pain.

Sanji is initially taken aback. he's frozen, seeing some blood starting to seep out of your skin, but he reminds himself that you are in pain and you need his help. He snaps out of his daze quickly, and he rushes you to the sink.

You don't say anything as Sanji cleans your wound for you. He's whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he rubs the soap and rinses your hand. He urges you to take a seat on the bar again while he grabs the bandages he kept in one of the kitchen drawers in case an accident happened. It doesn't take long for him to wrap the small piece of fabric around your injured fingers.

He shifts his seat closer to you right after, his fingers dancing around the skin over your arm. "You okay, y/n-san?" He murmurs.

You nod, "It wasn't that deep anyway."

There's a soft smile on your lips as you two face each other, and Sanji takes this as your unspoken token of gratitude. He smiles back, equally soft and warm.

"We can try this again next time, you know..." Sanji trails off. You find this endearing, really, when his suave charm from earlier is being worn down and replaced by this unfamiliar bashfulness.

"Yeah?" You say, brows slightly raised.

"Yeah." He replies, "We can do this as many times as you want, love, I'm never giving up on you."

You flush red, again. It's your body's automatic response to Sanji's antics, no matter how small or grand, at this point. You avoid his gaze, bringing a hand up to shove him lightly on the shoulder. "You're so dramatic."

Soft laughter erupts from the two of you.

This is nice. Everything is nice when Sanji is around.

•••••••••

a/n. hi .. lowkey hated the ending but i was rushing by that point so i deeply apologize GDJDHSH likes n rbs r highly appreciated and feel free to leave ur thoughts on my asks!! <3

[raes-writing-space]

Lucifer x GN!Reader Drabble *Lemon*

A/N: MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS PLEASE DNI. Summary and warnings for those 18+ under the cut. Blacklist the tag "lemon" to not see any of my smut-related writings. Also I wrote this on my phone on the way home from a road trip. So if there's any errors, sorry bout that.

Summary: After a more troublesome day for Lucifer, he wants to unwind and release his energy out on his sweet little slut who will be obedient to him.

Warnings: Degradation Kink, Rough Sex, Sub!Reader, Dom!Lucifer, the use of the title "Master" for Lucifer. Please read at your own discretion.

Word Count: 453

His pace was brutal, as he was already leaving you breathless underneath him. You had been whining mercilessly, begging for him to let you finally cum, to no avail.

"Master, pl-please… I-ah!" You moaned loudly when he tugged at your hair a little roughly.

You couldn't see him to prepare yourself for the sensation. He had blind-folded you and tied up your hands with his tie above you. You were overstimulated despite the fact that you haven't even cum yet. You feared that when he did allow you to, you might end up screaming from it all.

"You'll cum when I tell you to cum. Now if you'd be a good little whore and quit squirming, I won't have to punish you again." He growled in your ear, as your body kept moving with each hard thrust he gave.

"Mm… mhmm…" was all you could manage, your whines and begs getting caught in your throat.

"What was that? Are you too dumb off my cock to speak correctly? I couldn't hear you, slut." His pace stopped completely, as he denied you of yet another orgasm, as he kept his hard cock still sheathed within your hole.

"I…" You took a breath, almost attempting to calm yourself down too. "Y-yes, Master. I-I'll be good. Please… fuck me…" You breathed.

"Let me see you, I want to see how pathetic you look, begging for my cock." He chuckled deeply, as he pulled the blindfold off of you.

Your eyes were watering from all the sensations, as you blinked a few times, focusing on him. You couldn't hold back your moan when you saw him, a very thin beading of sweat on his forehead, his hair a little fucked out and dischieveled. His eyes bore into you like a predator looking at his prey, and it somehow turned you on more.

"If you could look at how fucked out you look, just waiting for me to give you what you want. Hmm?" He smirked.

"Y-yes, Master." You frantically nodded your head, squirming in an attempt to get some friction again.

"Ah, ah, ah… you're squirming… You know better."

"I-I'm sorry-"

"Shh… no apologies… you'll do better next time. I'll make sure of it. But I still have to punish you now… so you're going to take what I give you, and if I hear you begging to cum again, we'll be here until you finally understand. You can be as much of a cock-dumb slut as you want, but you will learn…" He sadistically whispered into your ear, but thrust into you harshly again, making you gasp.

You knew at this rate you wouldn't be able to walk properly for at the very least three days.

[holden-caulfield]

What If I Don't Want You To?

main masterlist

REQUESTED: "Hii! I saw that you wanted people to leave kaz requests in your asks so here I am! Could you do a ff in wich the reader is a part of the crows and she's really sarcastic and flirty (similar to jesper) and she constantly flirts with kaz, (he acts like it doesn't affect him but he secretly loves it) and one day she does something especially bold that makes him blush madly and they finally admit their feelings for each other (also a lot of teasing of the crows to kaz pls) thank you so much!"

SUMMARY: reader loves to tease kaz but is scared once she realizes she might have gone too far.

WARNINGS: a mention of blood but nothing graphic

WORD COUNT: 1422

Kaz was the most closed-off person you knew. He never revealed anything, wether it was his feelings or the details of a new plan, and it enraged you. That's why you took it upon yourself to see just how far you could push him.

Flirting with Kaz Brekker wasn't an easy task, nor was it rewarding but it sure was fun. The crows loved to see which new technique you would have used and what effect it would have had on Kaz. It was usually a simple glare; a snarky comment when you were lucky. Bets were made on his reactions and you soon became a part of it.

"What are we thinking today, Y/n?" started Jesper while walking you down to the club, "I'm betting on a smirk."

"A smirk?!" you asked surprised, "I'm not even sure Kaz can smile..."

"He can, i've seen him once. I thought i was dreaming but when i pointed it out, he glared at me. I knew it was real when he whacked me with his cane." stated Jesper, shivering at the memory. You couldn't help but laugh at his theatrics. "Why do you do it, by the way?"

You took a moment to answer, suddenly serious again.

Truth was that all the innocent flirty comments you made −comments that started out as nothing more than a pastime− soon changed something in you. They were becoming truthful, and seeing Kaz answer with nothing but a dismissive comment was not easy. Trying to evoke feelings in him, inadvertently awoke feelings in you. Feelings for your boss that you shouldn't have had.

"Do i need a reason? It's fun, why do you talk to yourself in the mirror when you think no one's watching?" you retorted, raising eyebrows in genuine question.

"First of all, you shouldn't have seen that. Second of all, you should try it, you'd feel much better afterwards." he said simply and you tried restraining the smile that inevitably made its way on your face.

You entered the club which was, as always, in full swing. Several people were already ordering at the bar all kinds of alcohol while many others were betting all their possessions at the tables. Only the dregs knew that the real bets were being placed under the tables.

"Ten that he doesn't say anything." you heard someone whispering.

You were the newest of the dregs and of the crows, but you had already earned yourself a reputation.

"Twenty that he finally kicks her out." another voice from somewhere in the club.

That one made you shiver. Would he really reach a point where he would fire you? You were a useful member, you wouldn't have made it into the crows if you weren't, but were you too much? Would he eventually get tired of you?

You walked over to your usual table with Jesper to meet Inej. Kaz wasn't there yet and you were really thinking of ending it there, no more flirting, no more jokes. This was your job, nothing else.

"What do you have for us, boss?" asked Jesper as he saw Kaz approaching.

He looked as he always does: black refined clothes clinging to him in an assortment of sharp edges, making him look even more direful to new merchants. He looked dashing the way a raging sea at night is; frightening, yet enticing. And that was wrong, you reminded yourself.

"It was a dead end." he said, sitting down.

He was in a gloomy mood, certainly for the news, and even though you knew you would have let down the whole club, you couldn't help but think of the comment you had heard moments ago.

"Twenty that he finally kicks her out."

You loved working and simply being with the crows and the possibility of being kicked out was positively frightening.

But you couldn't simply stop. Everyone would have noticed something was off, he would have noticed. And then what? He would have known you liked him.

You had to do something big, something he couldn't simply ignore. You might have been out of the dregs for good, or maybe not.

Jesper kicked your shin under the table, making you focus back on the real word and motioning at all the dregs in the club, looking expectantly at you.

Kaz and Inej were now talking about something you weren't quite getting, their voices seemed distant as you tried to forget about everyone's eyes on you. You had made it a thousand times already, you could do it once more.

"So, what are we going to do now?" asked Jesper and Kaz leaned back in his chair.

"I have some other leads we can try, but we'll have to split up." he started, the prospect of new kruge in his pockets making him incredibly more cheerful, "Jesper, Inej heard something about a particularly pricey painting in east stave, she'll bring you there and you'll learn more about it. And Y/n," he began and you perked up.

It was your moment to say something and get it over with.

"We'll go to west stave, i need your help with a lead there."

"Oh, you need me?" you said, your tone excessively teasing.

"That's what i said, but i can ask Inej." he replied drily.

You hesitated but you were not one to back down, especially not in front of one of Kaz's passive aggressive comments.

"But then you wouldn't get to stare at me longingly while i work, would you?" you said, pouting slightly.

You could have expected a retort, a glare, a not-so-nice hand gesture, but not him storming out of the club.

The entirety of the dregs was dumbfounded, Jesper and Inej, who never participated in the bets but still knew about them, were agape. You were mortified.

"Maybe," began Inej, "You should go talk to him."

"And meet my demise?" you asked.

"There must be a reason why he stormed out-"

"Yes, that he would have liked to kill me but blood stains are tough to remove." Jesper laughed but you were quite serious.

You got up either way, you had to explain yourself to him, you owed him at least that, and got out.

You found him not so far from the club's entrance, leaning on the railing over the river. You approached him unsurely.

"Kaz." he didn't turn around, so you got closer to the railing and noticed that his face, even in the night with the palest light of the street lamps, was scarlet. "I'm- i'm sorry, i will stop."

He remained silent.

"That is if you still want me in the crows, if not i'll leave tonight obviously." he turned to you, usually-perfect hair now slightly tousled, face still red and unreadable.

"Why wouldn't i?" he asked.

"I'm always teasing you and i figured you hated that. I will stop."

"What if i don't want you to?" your head perked up and he turned back towards the horizon, but a smirk crept up on his face. He didn't bother hiding it.

"So you can smile?" he rolled his eyes.

"I don't like it when people point out things i obviously do, you should have noticed back there."

Heat rushed to your face and the smile he had plastered onto his face turned into a complacent one.

"It was real? You stare at me longingly?" you asked bewildered.

He looked at you once before turning to the horizon once more, "Obviously not."

But you could sense he was lying.

"Told you he could smile, Y/n!" shouted Jesper from behind you.

You both turned around to find Jesper and Inej surrounded by the dregs and a couple of other clients too, all jostling to get a better look of the scene.

"It'll be hard for him not to, i'm afraid." joined in Inej and you bit your lip to refrain the laughter. Kaz's annoyed expression didn't help you maintaining a straight face.

"I'm not paying you to stand here doing nothing, get back inside." he ordered.

Everyone turned back inside but Jesper and Inej.

"Boss, if Y/n now gets double, just know i'm great at flirting too." stated Jesper as Kaz made his way back to the club, you in tow.

He ignored him and whacked him with his cane. Again. Jesper had now yet another lovely cane story to add to his collection.

"You'll never let him forget it, won't you?" you whispered. Jesper looked at you like a child who had just entered candy land.

"Never."

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[step-on-me-khun]

Hi! I really love your poly oneshots with KhunBaam with reader. I was wondering if you could write a scenario where Khun and reader are already in an established relationship but they're both pining for Baam and feeling really guilty about it. Maybe they end up telling each other how they feel and then agree that they would go after Baam? Smutty ending maybe?? 😳 Sorry if this is long hope it all makes sense! 😂

afasffg, well, I haven't had a poly request for a while - this did take a while to write, I feel like i did my best, but i feel like this isn't my best which is something I feel with everything i write

I have written Khunbam smut before - only once - and I was thinking of adding a second part and making it a little bit spicier

warning(s): smut, poly relationship - no minors pls

word count: 4038 - the longest smut request I've written

tagging: @unexceptional-h @rizonacigaravenue @aoi-turtle

You admired just how much of a close friendship Khun and Baam had. It always intrigued you as you watched them interact a lot. They were comfortable and happy around each other.

Teasing Khun about his closeness to Baam always got you nowhere. He would always flip the table and make it so that he was the one teasing you.

There was no denying that you loved Khun even with his snarky remarks and his oh-so infuriating smugness. You'd always want to stay with him.

It was just that the more you saw him chat be around Baam, the more you felt for him. Baam wasn't like a stranger to you. If anything, he was one of your closest friends.

The way you watched them, a little out of it as you sat there, Khun found it adorable and creepy. But there was always jealousy whenever you spoke to Baam or when Khun spoke to Baam.

You would catch one another staring idly at Baam. It did make things tense between the two of you. But that tension did release itself once you reached each other's rooms.

"Do you have feelings for Baam?" Khun asks, out of nowhere. You had pulled your top down so far but stopped for a second to think about what Khun had just asked you.

"Khun, I love you more than any-" you tried to reply, pulling your top on quickly.

"I know you do," Khun turns onto his side, his hand holding his face up off the bed, "and, dammit, do I love you. I wouldn't have found it too surprising if you did, because I do,"

So, Khun was maybe telling you that he had romantic feelings towards Baam. Okay, that's something you weren't expecting. But, you couldn't say that something like this was surprising.

Shock got you stuck to the side of the bed, unable to move or form any coherent sentence. All that mattered was what Khun did or said next.

A sign escapes Khun's mouth, "I'm not asking you to accept my feelings for Baam, I'm just asking you if maybe you had the same feelings-"

"Yes, I do," you whisper.

"You're not just saying that because it's me you're talking to, right?"

"Khun, what are you getting at?"

Khun sits up, steadying his breathing and mind as he readies a response.

"How about we included Baam into our relationship?"

"You mean, make it a poly thing? I don't know, and I don't even know if you've even confessed to Baam,"

"If it's too much for you to worry about, I'll confess to him first and explain what's going on,"

"And you'll let me know when you need me?"

"Of course, I will," Khun says as he squeezes your hand.

-----

It was a complicated mess, Khun told you that he would confess first, but he could never get the timing right. There were times when you could've admitted your feelings to Baam but decided not to, for Khun's sake.

But your patience was wearing thin at this point. There was so much tension inside you that it became unbearable.

Baam sat beside you, talking about something. You weren't paying too much attention, just thinking of a way to blurt out everything.

The more you overthought, the more evident it was that you were overthinking. Baam noticed it, too.

"Is everything alright, (Y/N)?" Baam asks.

Your eyes met him, "Yeah, sure, it's fine,"

"If you need to talk to someone, I'm here," Baam's hands softly hold onto yours.

Anxiety steadily built up, making your heart race. It was the perfect time to confess. But damn it, how were you supposed to?

"You see, the thing is," you steady your breath and calm yourself, "I'm in love with you, Baam,"

Baam's hands try to move away from yours, but you grab onto his and bring them back towards you.

"I'm not asking you to accept my feelings, just to think about them,"

"But, this isn't-"

The door opens, revealing Khun, who instantly sees you holding onto Baam's hand, and sighs.

It was clear to Khun that you had told Baam, but he didn't know how much.

"You could've been patient," Khun whines.

"I was being patient," you complain.

"What's going on?" Baam asks, his voice laced with confusion.

"I told you," you explain, "but there's more than just my feelings to consider,"

You hadn't told Baam anything other than your feelings. That was obvious to Khun now, who was trying his hardest to figure out how he should address his feelings.

"What do you mean?" Baam asks.

"It's not just (Y/N) that loves you, Baam, and I'm not talking platonically," Khun says.

Baam's face turns red in shock. At first, he wanted you about your relationship with Khun, but Khun knew. It was too much. What was going on?

"Wait, so you both have feelings for me?"

The silence and the look you and Khun shared was enough of an answer.

"I care about you both, but I don't know if what I feel for you is that kind of love,"

"We can give you a while to think about it and maybe make this a polyamorous relationship,"

The confusion in Baam's face was nothing short of adorable.

"I don't know what that means," Baam admits.

"It's a romantic relationship between more than two people, that's why both of us wanted to confess in our own time," Khun explains, "I care about you too much to get an answer out of you now, we both do, so give yourself some time to think about it. If you decide you want us to be friends, and nothing more, we'd be fine with that,"

You smile at Baam and stand up. Your eyes were fixed to his as you leave, with Khun following.

Now Baam had a lot to think through. The two people closest to him confessed.

But just because you gave him time to think about the situation didn't mean you wouldn't help him make a decision.

You kept a close eye on Baam whenever you were around him, not in a creepy way. You just wanted to wait until the right moment, then tease or fluster him a little.

With Khun, you knew how to be alluring. You knew what to do, how to look at him, your voice. The energy you gave Khun was mainly due to his attitude, and you had to either match it or act a little submissive.

Baam was different. You wanted to make him react, get him close, then whisper something in his ear. Either that or cling to his arm suddenly like you were going to fall.

Then you tried to fluster him with your voice and try to sound as sweet and sexy as possible. Baam was sometimes a little clueless, but as you said and acted more, it became that you were trying to tease him. When he figured it out, you left.

Everything was going to reach a boiling point. You were building up Baam for a reason, getting him all riled up and tense so he would have to make his mind up sooner rather than later.

As you walked past Baam in the corridor, you gave him a sweet smile, like you were acting as if nothing was going on. His posture stiffened as you walked.

A hand tightly grabbed onto your wrist, keeping you still. You knew who it was but were hesitant to turn to look at Baam.

"I need to talk to you about this," Baam says quietly, tugging on your wrist, leading you to your room quickly.

You kept quiet as you opened the door to your room, not like you knew what to say. It was tricky to think of any response.

As the two of you walk in, you find Khun, sitting on the end of the bed, staring at the two of you.

"I didn't think you were gutsy enough to be that forward," Khun says, looking directly towards you.

"Nothing wrong with helping Baam make a decision," you reply, "but I am sorry if I did make you a little uncomfortable, Baam,"

"You don't need to apologise," Baam responds, cupping your face in his hand, "you did help me make up my mind,"

Khun leans back onto the bed, letting out a loud sigh of relief. Khun got dragged into the room, but it was because Baam needed to have a word with him about you - about both of you. Baam releases your face, revealing the bright red tint that lit up your cheeks.

Baam had said all he needed to say, Khun was always the first person he went to, and you had almost forgotten about that fact.

"Anyway," Khun starts, getting up from the bed, "Someone needs to put you in your place, but that can wait for now," his feet bring him in front of you.

Khun harshly presses his mouth onto Baam's, surprising you for a microsecond before reality struck you. Was this even happening? Two handsome men stood in front of you, and you almost wanted to cover your eyes and walk out the room, to respect their boundaries.

You were caught off guard by Khun's hand softly brushing under your top and into your bra.

A short gasp escapes your mouth as Khun's hand gropes your chest.

Your hands cling to Baam's sleeve, hiding your face in his arm. It wasn't intentional. If you clung to Khun, he would tease you for being too needy. And you knew Baam wouldn't tease you for being like this.

A surge of confidence ran through Baam, whose hand slithered down your stomach, his gentle fingers move down to your underwear.

Your grip on Baam tightens as his hand reaches your entrance.

"Look at how (Y/N)'s reacting to you," Khun says as his lips leave Baam's.

Khun's face looked so damn smug like he was proud of what he had done. He had brought the two of you to the room, knew what you were doing to Baam, and made it impossible for you to leave.

To avoid staring at Khun's smug face, you shut your eyes. Baam's fingers pushed inside you slowly at first, all while pressing soft pecks on your forehead and hair.

"Oh, Baam," you cry.

To gain another reaction from you, the hand cupping your breast reached for your nipple and tweaked it.

You let out a short squeal into Baam's arm.

That reaction was enough, and even though Khun did want to tease and make you beg for more, he didn't want to focus on just you. There was so much love that you and Khun were desperate to share with Baam. And it was clear that Baam was expressing just how much the two of you meant to him.

It was easy for you to get hotter and hotter. The two men before you were working on making you flustered and aroused. Your knees were very close to falling to the ground.

Khun's fingertips go from tweaking your perky nipples to flicking them each time you would cry and gasp out.

Just as you got close to reaching your euphoric high, you got stopped by Khun.

"That's enough of that, for now," Khun announces, "do you want to stop it now, or do you want to go further?"

You knew what you wanted, as did Khun. The soft and fiery glow of Baam's eyes let you know what he wanted. Both of you, right now.

Baam took yours and Khun's hand and led you to the bed. It was most likely his first time, so you wanted to give him your attention for the time being.

"Wait," you loudly say, getting them to focus on you, "Baam, is this your first time, you know, being intimate with someone?"

Khun gives you a soft look, hinting that he understood you. He trusted you, both of you, so he sat down on the opposite side of the bed.

"I, uh. Yes, it is," Baam admits, embarrassed and red-faced.

It was cute seeing him this flustered, but you weren't going to rush him.

Baam closes his eyes and sighs before roughly pressing his mouth onto yours, causing you to yelp out in surprise.

Khun had patience and was willing to wait for the two of you. It made you relieved that you had someone like that, but Baam was also involved, so you guessed that that was the reason Khun was like that. He didn't want to have Baam all to himself. He wanted both of you to himself. No one could ever touch you, or Baam, Khun wouldn't have it. The two people he cared so much about, the most precious beings in existence. Khun felt jealous of what Baam was going to do to you.

But Khun knew that Baam would treat you good.

Baam releases your lips, his eyes lidded as he gazes into your eyes.

"Sorry if I do anything to hurt you," Baam softly says, watching you as you lie down on the bed, waiting for him.

"You're not going to hurt me," you attempt to reassure him, "I always know I'm safe with you," you flash a genuine smile at him before lifting your top off and pulling it off you.

Baam shortly follows you onto the bed, his body towering over you as you lay there. Again, your eyes met with his, and you could see just how much fire there was. Khun always had such a cold interior, it made it a little difficult to love sometimes, but with Baam, he was always such a warm and kind soul. You could see it in his eyes.

Your gentle hands tug his top up his chest, where Baam sat up a little and removed it. As Baam's top drops to the floor, you catch a glimpse of his chest and just how much fighting he had gone through.

Baam's hands reached behind your back, quickly trying to find the clasp to your bra. The struggle was cute, his fingers desperately trying to undo the fabric.

You giggle a little, sitting up a bit to help him. Then he found it and pulled it briskly off you.

Now, this was something which Baam hadn't seen before; a girl semi-naked. Panic almost kicked in. Then he saw you, someone who looked just as nervous as him.

Your hands grab at his trousers, undoing them quickly, then pull both them and his boxers down to the middle of his thighs. It didn't interest you how long or thick his length was. All that mattered was that you took your time and made each other comfortable. But you mostly wanted Baam to know that he wasn't hurting you.

"I know you're nervous, but you try not to worry too much," you say, pulling the rest of your clothes off.

To hide his embarrassment, Baam hovers over you, hiding your naked body from his eyes. Damn, you looked beautiful like this, your eyes glowing softly. He was a little jealous that you were Khun's. It was like he forgot that you were both his and Khun's.

Baam didn't notice that your hands were already down on the head of his length, guiding it to your wet and needy entrance.

"Do you want to switch positions, or are you okay with staying like this?" You ask, with one hand clinging to his arm.

His face hides in the crook of your neck as he slowly thrusts inside you. Your other arm wraps around his back, holding him close to you.

It wasn't a time to compare just how good they made you feel. You knew Khun was capable of being sweet and loving like this. It was just that this was Baam's nature. He was a caring and loving person.

"You're making me feel so good, Baam," you moan. It was true. Baam was doing well so far. You just wanted to give him some encouragement.

His hands reach behind you and lay in the middle of your upper back.

The soft sounds of your moans did something to him that he couldn't explain or understand, but he could feel it affecting him. Baam wanted to feel more of you.

His thrusts begin to speed up a little, still making sure his pace wasn't too much. Not like it ever would be. You got the idea that Baam wouldn't get rough with you, even if you begged and begged.

"Please, Baam, more," you cry. Your nails scratch the skin of his back.

You knew what you were doing. It was all to help Baam and make sure he felt just as good as you.

Baam's breathy moans were something you felt against your neck, making you shiver a little. He was being vocal, but his groans were short and whiny.

It was like your first time. The atmosphere was calm, and all you could feel was love. Baam was certainly showing that to you, and you were doing the same.

Thrusts sped up so that Baam could reach inside you more, get a high from the feeling of being inside you. It was indescribable how good he felt.

Then it came, the feeling that slowly built up as Baam's thrusts became more powerful.

"B-Baam," you cry, hiding your head in the crook of your neck.

"Do you want me to stop?" Baam asks, worried by your actions.

"No, please don't," you beg, "I'm so close, please don't stop,"

Listening to you beg someone other than him did make Khun a little jealous, but he wasn't going to complain vocally.

"(Y/N)," Baam cries as you tighten around him, his hips desperately slapping against yours as you come.

Baam didn't want to stop. He wanted to end after reaching the same high he saw you get. The look of pure bliss on your face as you sank back on the bed was enough to drive Baam crazy. And it was then that his climax hit him.

It was a new sensation, one that made Baam's body shake a little.

A burst of excitement and energy shot through you, an idea ran through your head, and you quickly switched positions.

"I know you're still getting over your orgasm," you start, "but I want to treat you more if that's okay,"

While the two of you were at it, Khun had gotten undressed and was waiting for you as you moved off Baam and got between his legs instead.

"W-what are you going to do?" Baam asks.

"I told you, didn't I? You don't need to worry about it,"

As you prepare yourself, you feel Khun behind you, his hands on your waist as he thrusts into roughly.

"Fuck you," you cry as you pepper Baam's length with kisses.

"Dammit," Baam cries, grasping at the sheets below him.

You could see the pleasure in Baam's face as you bobbed up and down on him. One of his hands release the sheets and moves up to his face, hiding his expression and eyes from you.

"S-so good," Baam cries.

The soft and needy sound of Baam's moans triggered something inside Khun, whose fingers dig into your skin, speeding up his thrusts and pace. One word from you about being a little jealous, and Khun would fuck you right into the bed, making you forget Baam was there.

Khun's mind focused on scenarios that would make him jealous, leaving reality and focussing only on those images.

Your moans vibrated around Baam's length as your mouth continued to move on him, trying hard to please Baam as much as you could. If only Khun weren't thrusting as madly as he was. It was making it difficult to focus on the man in front of you.

A hand gently caresses your face, Baam's eyes look lovingly into your eyes as you try to speed up. Baam's hand guides you face up and off him for a second, replacing your mouth with your hands.

"You're so pretty like this," Baam cries, huffing and panting, "you both look so good,"

Khun was aware of the situation, and instead of being fast and harsh with you, switched to being slow and rough on you.

As the light from outside faded, it cast light rays which illuminated all three of you. But the way the light captured Baam was just breathtaking.

You were beginning to feel it again, the signal that you were close. The cries that erupted from your mouth became more frequent.

Your mouth tried to hollow itself around Baam, trying to help him reach his end.

There was no point in crying out anyone's name. You were so close to choking but desperate for Baam not to see that you were.

"I think I'm close," Baam groans.

A warm feeling twirled in your stomach as you tightened around Khun, but the feeling vanished once Khun pulled out of you.

It was a punishment for you. Khun was going to deny you one orgasm. He wanted you to finish what you were doing with a little bit of frustration that would keep you going. And it did. It gave you the chance to focus on Baam.

Baam's eyes closed as he came into your mouth, his eye looking a bit guilty like he had done something wrong.

"Do you want to keep going?" Khun asks as he sits down beside you. "I'm not going to force either of you to do something you're not used to yet," he says, placing a soft, loving kiss on both your and Baam's forehead.

Soft Khun was such an oddity. It was something so rare and genuine that it made you feel giddy. But with what he'd just done to you, the minute Baam would leave and get back to his room. You were in for it.

"I still want to think about it more," Baam says, as he swings his legs off the edge of the bed, "you've helped me figure out how I felt, for both of you,"

"I'm sorry," you say, hiding your head in the bed, "I should've just let you make up your mind,"

"You don't need to say sorry," Baam says, stroking your hair, "it was just your way of trying to help. You mean a lot to me. Both of you do. "

Baam's voice was so soothing it calmed you down.

"You don't know how much I adore you guys," you admit quietly.

"I think we do know," Khun says, rubbing your back and shoulders.

As Baam gets dressed, you sat up again, your eyes staring down at the bed as you thought. Maybe you had brought this on and acted too hastily, but if you hadn't, this whole thing wouldn't have happened.

How would Khun have handled it? His mind is unlike anyone else's, so he would've picked a better moment and probably acted a lot more forward than you.

"I want to ask, has the noise coming through the walls been you two all along?" Baam asks as he walks and reaches the door.

You instantly pull a pillow up to your face and fall onto your side. Of course, it was, and Baam heard all of what you two had done.

The only response Khun gave was a smug smile.

"It's okay, I don't need an answer," Baam says as he opens the door and leaves.

You rushed and hid under the sheets, attempting to get away from Khun.

"What are you doing?" Khun asks, "I'm not going to do anything. I think that was enough for tonight. I've punished you enough,"

"I acted too quickly, didn't I? You could've handled it better," you admit.

"I might be good at planning things," Khun unravels the blanket from around you, "doesn't mean I don't mind help sometimes,"

"I'm just glad neither of you is mad,"

Khun chuckles and kisses your forehead, "don't be stupid, nothing you've done has ever made me angry, yet,"

You giggle a little as you feel Khun's arms wrap around you.

It had been a weird day, but it looked as if life was going to get a bit more interesting.

[enluv]

level #14 – the big speech

wc; 926!

genre/warning(s): written content, angst, cheesy tooth rotting sweet fluff, beomgyu is so cute pls :(

Beomgyu's nerves heighten as he watches you walk down the long red carpet into the Gala's home building. He'd shown up twenty minutes earlier with Yeonjun and Soobin, Hueningkai and Taehyun having already started hosting a few hours before. He knew you'd be there but he was still in awe at the way you'd walked out wearing the purple dress your best friends had chosen for you. They'd told him before hand what you'd be wearing so it was easier to spot you when he gave his speech.

Speaking of his speech, it was long. The longest thing he'd ever written probably, but every word meant so much. His time was short and if he was going to confess his love for you, he might as well go out with a boom while doing it.

Hueningkai's tall form walks towards him holding a mic, he'd just finished interviewing the last round of celebrities arriving and was now moving to the stage. Food would be severed shortly and then the moment Beomgyu had been preparing for would come.

"You look constipated," Hueningkai jokes trying to get his friend to laugh but to no end doesn't it work.

"Do you think she hopes we don't run into each other? She looks really happy with Eric and Sunwoo."

Hueningkai sighs, as his attempts fail at making Beomgyu's mood brighten. "Honestly Gyu, I think she's just trying to have a good time tonight, after everything that's happened, you're probably the last thing on her mind, but that's why you need to tell her how you feel. It'll get her to see you like she once did and things will be okay again."

The seating arrangement wasn't necessarily picked by anyone. The company hosting the gala had made a pre-planned seating chart and to his dismay, Beomgyu and his friends sat right next to your table.

Dinner was awkward to say the least, stolen glances and burning stares from the other really topped it off, but thankfully it went quickly, and soon came the winners speeches. Eric was up first, second was Felix, after him Chanhee, then Hyunjin, and finally, Beomgyu.

"...well it was a ride, but thank you to those who supported me throughout it all! This one's for you, my lovely supporters!" Hyunjin's final words fly past Beomgyu's head as he's quickly handed a mic.

"It's your turn Beomgyu. Good luck!" Taehyun ushers the boy on stage as quickly as possible and with his cards in hand he walks slowly towards the black podium in the middle.

His sticky hands set down the cards as neatly as possible while he tries to remain focused on the most important target in the room, you.

"Hello, sorry for the nerves, feeling a bit of pressure after all those amazing speeches before me," he jokes lightly, "I'll be honest, if you'd told me that I was going to be standing infront of all of you, here at the iconic Gaming Gala a year ago, I'd have laughed in your face and went on studying for midterms. Yet, here I am today, a year later thriving in my field and fully appreciative of that. I want to thank everyone who pushed me to follow my dreams, and kept me on the right track. My tomorrow brother's who continued to push streaming onto me even when I continuously said no, my manager who puts up with my "brat-like" attitude as some reporters would say, but most importantly there is someone here tonight that I'd like to thank profusely, and that's my girl," his hand points outward at you and the crowd surrounding him begins to murmur as all eyes turn to you, seated smack in the middle of your cheesing best friends.

"Y/N, without you there would be no me. If you hadn't left I wouldn't have been #1 and if you hadn't come back I would have never dmed you about getting that spot back, but most importantly if you hadn't shown me love and compassion I'd be lost in fame and money. You are the reason I want to continue doing what I love most, you are the reason I smile, the reason I go out and face this crazy ass world. I know that a lot has happened between us but I'm glad it did because if we never met, I'd be stuck and alone, never finding my purpose, which is to be my happiest in life, with you. I really do love you."

The crowd around you let's out a course of "awe's" and "wow", and Beomgyu knows he's done good when your eyes roll and you smile up at him from your seat at the table next to his. You may still have a lot to talk about but he knows things will be okay now.

As he walks off the stage, you're standing to the right waiting for him. His once confident demeanor falters, as he now has to face the reality of if you'll take him back into your life or not.

You awkwardly give him a wave and his heart beats faster. Maybe he should turn the other way – no he needs to do this, even if you tell him to get lost forever.

"Hi," he breathes stopping only a few feet in front of you.

"Hi gyu, heard you love me or whatever."

His smile widens at your words. He really does love you and if he has to spend days, weeks, months, even years reminding you he will.

"Yeah I do love you."

masterlist | prev.

taglist - @bloom-bloom-pow @igyus @beomjunies @envirae @whatinthebts @jcngseongs @tyunningfiles @k6ho @spookybias @changmin-wrlds @junityy @sukirene @viscoolreal @faiirybread @vantxx95 @strwberrydinosaur @milkycloudtyg @nyfwyeonjun @staysstrays @jakeycore @lcvekdy @icywhatim @hjinnie @msxflower @lovebeomb @bbeomies @lokideadontheinside @eeheeeh @onigiriyuki @damselindistressanu @akaashisbunny @jjikyuu @ikyk-leeknow @softkons @loonathewurld @pr0dbeomgyu @hanniesss @sunooflowerss @gothmingguk @dongyucks @w3bqrl @baekhyunstruly @korejijiyo @soobsdior @shawnkneecaps @wooyoponyo @hobizi @032421 @meiiiwa @90s-belladonna @eclisqc (users in bold can't be tagged)

taglist: is CLOSED!

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)

gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted

a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03

prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.

warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up

Obviously, it wasn't the last time.

Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.

Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.

That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.

So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.

"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"

"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."

Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.

But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.

"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."

Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.

You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.

For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.

John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.

***

You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.

His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.

John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.

"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."

You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.

John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.

The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.

"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.

"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.

The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.

"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."

"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.

John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"

"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.

Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."

"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.

"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."

"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"

"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.

"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."

"No it wasn't, Ada-"

Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.

"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."

"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."

"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.

You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.

John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.

"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"

"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.

"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.

"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.

"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.

"Why didn't you?"

You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.

"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.

You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.

"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."

"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.

"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"

"We weren't thinking."

"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."

She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.

"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."

"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"

"We're done here, John."

He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."

The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.

"John, it should've never happened."

"But it did."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."

"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"

"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."

"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."

You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.

"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.

"I'd drive you home but obviously-"

"Obviously."

John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.

Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.

Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.

"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.

He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."

"Just how he is." You shrugged.

"Does he love you or sommet?"

"Fuck knows… does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Do you love him?"

"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.

Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."

He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.

"Iz… I don't know what to do next."

It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.

"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."

***

John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.

"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.

Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.

He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.

He should've never approached you that night.

He should never approach you again.

He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.

[frogtanii]

WRITTEN BIT BABEY :)

you leave the room with a heavy weight sitting on your heart that is only amplified by the serious look on kenma’s face. you ignore it in favor of turning on the tv and going to disney+, queuing up the original mulan knowing how into the story hinata would get. still refusing to face your friend, you move to the kitchen digging around the cabinets to find snacks.

“yn,” the sound of your name jolts you out of your focus even though you were expecting it. “can we please talk?”

it feels like the air has been sucked out of the room, the only thing remaining being a heavy blanket of tension draping over the two of you. when you chance a look at kenma, you’re taken aback by the unreadable look on his face--it's overwhelming and you have to take a step back.

you turn away from him, unable to look for long without your mind racing and heart clenching with unknown guilt. a hand gently touches your shoulder, the feeling sending a shock of discomfort down your spine.

"we need to talk about kuroo," kenma starts, his golden eyes desperately searching for your own but you refuse to make eye contact, too afraid of what his expression might hold. when you don't move to face him, kenma sighs and moves somewhere behind you. the sound of a barstool scraping against the tiled floors alerts you that he's probably sitting down which signals a long and emotion-packed conversation.

"he texted me today." the relatively innocent statement is weighed down by the many implications behind it. your mind begins to race--what could that even mean? did he talk about you? your childhood? what he had done to you and more importantly, why? "what did you guys talk about?" the question is out of your mouth before you can stop it, desperation creeping into the edges of your voice.

you finally, finally, shift to face him, mentally steeling yourself for the upbringing of things you'd much rather forget.

"he's playing with you yn. you know it, i know it, he knows it. you need to separate yourself from him," kenma says, his voice monotone and soft. "i-i love you, you know that right?" you nod but remain tight-lipped, allowing your best friend to finish his piece.

"i know you think he's changed but some people never do. i just- i wouldn't be able to live with myself if i didn't say anything and let him hurt you like before." he lets out a deep breath and runs his hands through his almost entirely brown hair. something glints under the soft kitchen lights and you recognize it as the bracelet you'd bought him back in your first year of high school. you smile to yourself, not noticing the look of admiration in his eyes and the soft smile gracing his lips.

the sound of a door opening startles the both of you from your silent reverie, your eyes trailing to the hallway where hinata stands bundled up in four blankets and looking absolutely miserable. "oh shō," you whisper, his puffy eyes already welling up with tears.

kenma moves faster than you, kindly (well as kind as kenma can be) moving the hinata burrito to the couch with you following closely behind. you plop yourself down right next to the redhead, his body coming to rest in your lap. you can't help but lean down and press a kiss to his forehead, running your fingers through his orange locks.

"w-what were y-you guys talking a-about?" shōyō asks, his voice watery and thick with tears. you shake your head at his question, not wanting to bog him down with depressing tales about one of his friends. "nothing baby, nothing. how are you feeling? do you need anything? water, snacks?" your fingers never leave his head, even when he turns to look at you frustratedly, his cheeks puffing in annoyance.

"i want you to tell me what you guys were talking about," he orders, fumbling his body burrito until he's sitting upright between you and kenma. "i'm not a baby, y'know."

kenma barks out a laugh, leaning over to ruffle hinata's hair. "says the one who's been crying all day," hinata giggles at the contact before kenma adds, "baby." you grin as hinata tries to force a pout on his face but it doesn't work, a small smile worming its way there instead.

"we can talk about it later, hm?" you say as you stand before moving to the kitchen to get snacks. hinata nods and snuggles into kenma's arms while mulan begins to play in the background. you're quick to join them, handing a bag of chips to kenma while shō presses a kiss to your cheek before settling in to watch the movie.

------

turns out the later was much later--you'd gotten through all of mulan, frozen one and two, and half of moana before hinata tried to bring kuroo up again.

"shō, you really don't want to hear about it," you groan while cleaning up the kitchen, carefully evading hinata as he follows close behind. "but you promised," he whines, finally grabbing hold of you and resting his head on your shoulder. kenma pops his head from around the corner with a mouthful of pocky's and shakes his head before speaking up. "you should tell him--he deserves to know why you transfered to karasuno in our third year."

you roll your eyes before bopping hinata on the forehead, sending him to the ground with a moan. "fine but if i'm going to be forced to relive the hell that was my high school years, i'm gonna do it over text." with that, you playfully stomp back over to the couch, bringing out your phone and lying down, determined to get this conversation over with as fast as possible.

© promiscuous boy ;)

storytime!!

series masterlist

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an: holy shit this took me FOREVER AND IT SUCKS ASS IM SO SORRY this is not how i wanted this explanation to go but my writing juice dissipated i am so sorry 😞 don’t worry abt feeding me idk if i wanna hear it for this trash LMAO

EDIT: I REDID IT SO KUROO IS LESS EVIL PLS DISREGARD EVERYTHING YOU MIGHT HAVE READ EARLIER GOMEN

taglist: if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

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