#i'm still a work in progress haha

[mimimar]

the main characters of an original short comic i’ve been working on based on the song ivy by taylor swift

edit: you can start reading it here!

[azaracyy]

✦ gods of mischief ✦ digimon survive week 2024 day 3: other digi- er, kemonogami

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

[spectrearia]

sometimes i feel like sharing more project diva recordings for songs that I find super challenging/fun but idk if anyone really even cares about that game as much as I do lol

[misspearly1]

When Two Worlds Collide Update

Ok so... I think the last chapter of WTWC is finally finished. I just gotta go through the beta and make sure everything looks good, while maybe adding some more details here and there hehehe!

This chapter has been hard af to get through, I'm ngl, but I can't wait to get it done so I can move on from this series. I bought a little notepad the other week to take down ideas for other characters, and I'm already starting to fill the pages. 😆

I'm in desperate need of writing out a little oneshot for Joel. I miss my oneshots for him so bad!! Anyway, that's all for today folks. Last chapter of WTWC will be posted tomorrow or Friday. I'm giving myself this deadline.

Love ya, thanks ❤️✌️

[aeriestaex]

3 am sonic shenanigans on the ipad 🥴 full version coming 🔜

[void-kissed]

..Okay so these were not the ideas I was having before but take this WIP anyway

[snapscube]

so i don't know if this is a post i'm gonna keep up cause, like i said, i don't really like talking candidly about aspects of my personal identity often these days, and lord knows i especially hate talking about legal identity and all the dissonance that entails. but this week was a pretty big one for me and i can't shake the desire to share my enthusiasm for even just a fleeting moment.

my name has been a sticking point in my mind for a long time. i've adopted many different ones. first, middle, last, you name it. i've been searching most of my life for a moniker that represented my true self socially, and a surname to distance myself from someone in my life who hurt me very badly and never really learned how to stop.

obviously for a long time now I've been Penny Parker to 98% of people who know me, and for the past couple that number has been bumped up to a solid 99% with a few stragglers. it's a name that is so mundane and assumed at this point that tbh I've even come to resent certain aspects of it. which to me is actually beautiful. i find that mundanity, that nuance, extremely telling of how it encapsulates my life. it's a fully three-dimensional reflection, smudges and sparkles and everything in between.

of course, i only just moved out on my own 3 years ago. and unfortunately that had to be the starting point to make this social and personal progress i've been sitting on for half a decade at least now official, tangible, legal. i've been playing a game of catch-up i didn't sign up for, but it's one that does have a silver lining in that i feel more in resonance with who i am and who i want to be than i ever did before being granted this independence.

and as of this week, i have the pleasure of entering an era of my life where the dissonance between who i am in speech and who i am in contract is nonexistent. my name is Penny Olivia Parker. i'm the same as i've always been, but getting better every day at it. soon i'll even have a license to match!

sometimes more of an Olivia Parker in brief moments nowadays tbh but i haven't worked out the details yet. nothin you need to stress over, ill take care of it. the full set is just fine and legally recognized, which is all i've wanted for as long as i can remember.

this isn't the end of my journey, both excitingly and unfortunately haha, but this is yet another huge milestone for me and in certain respects it's one of the biggest i've managed. i'm so happy to still be here. if you're reading this, thank you for being here too.

also those of you who watched my direct reactions the other day might have a little more insight as to why i was so emotional that the day after a judge signed my legal name change a new game by the Sonic Mania devs was announced called "Penny's Big Breakaway" LOL, it was a lot to handle for me but i wasn't sure how much i wanted to say just yet.

[cherubfae]

I'm the anon who asked if you write for mammon and adam. I just sent the ask in, but regardless of your reply i was wondering of you could write the hazbin cast +helluva boss cast (the ones you write obviously) with a super sleepy slot like s/o? Like they sleep all the dam time and are still tired as hell, so tired they literally fall to the ground while walking in silence for too much, they sit down for a second and go out cold. They move so slow it's incredible, theyre always super clingy and always hanging on by their shoulder, It's very concerning.

lmao this made me cackle. Here ya go, sweets! Apologies if you wanted something serious, I literally couldn't 😭😭 just had lunch with my mama to celebrate her belated bday and I'm very full

sloth!like partner || hazbin/helluva boss x reader

tags: fluff, comedy, this is probably mostly crack lmao, established relationships

Alastor

Okay but remember him with the Egg Bois? That's essentially him waiting for you to get ready for your date. What feels like an eternity was only roughly thirty seconds. He hopes you haven't fallen asleep in the bathroom.

"Dearest... I could just teleport you to places with my shadow provided I'm somewhere near." He suggests. It takes him a while to get used to any sort of physical contact so he's not crazy about the clinginess and does what he can to establish boundaries if and when he feels comfortable doing so.

Lucifer

Haha! You're so adorable! He actually quite likes having you on his arm, though sometimes not literally. It's comical watching you climb him and then slowly lose your energy halfway to his shoulders and slow-motion crash land towards the ground. Rinse and repeat.

Husk

By now he's quite used to you falling asleep, especially on him. You tucker yourself out so easily, he wonders what tricks Belphegor has up their sleeves lately. Husk loves you for who you are, but he is rather curious if there's anything that can cure or at least lessen your narcoleptic behaviors.

Angel Dust

Constantly cracking jokes and puns. Some of them can come off as a little mean though it's never intended to hurt your feelings. Though, he does know not to make the 'slow-burn romance' jokes every time you guys have a date night.

Vox

He's gotten used to you being constantly sleepy and rather sluggish. He does wonder if you are, in fact, a Hellborn from Sloth instead of a Sinner sometimes or if you drew the short straw. Vox is typically okay if you're constantly sleepy and a bit sluggish, but he is a fast-paced guy and likes all aspects of his life to progress at a decent speed; romance included.

Blitzø

Deadass he's watching you slowly drag yourself face-down along the ground with a soft skrrrr skrrrr along the cement. Honestly he's surprised you made it on Earth as long as you did. This was amusing but the more you, literally, drag on Blitz isn't sure what he should do. He's probably gonna start driving everywhere. Gotta keep pollutin' bb.

Loona

With how often you sleep, Loona isn't sure how you still manage to be so tired all the time. It honestly perplexes her but she's learned to roll with it. If you're moving too slowly for her liking, she'll pick you up and carry you off like royalty-- or if you're small like Millie, Loona is gonna commit you to her backpack transit indefinitely.

Striker

|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024

"Ya'llright, darlin'?" He asked with a raised brow. You just ate shit and aren't currently really doing anything about getting back into the upright position. Striker's tail swishes curiously and he gently prods you with his boot, heaving a sigh when you move.

[hansoeii]

Hello! Hope you're having a great day/night! I absolutely adore your art, you are one of my favourite artists. I love the way you shade and do backrounds. Also everytime I get into a new show I immediately see your art for it??

I was wondering if you had any advice on drawing more realistically (backrounds, anatomy etc) but still keeping a style?

Hey hey!

Thank you so much!

I have a pretty good understanding of facial structures, because before I got into drawing more semi-realisticly, I heavily focused on realistic portraits. Here are some example, these are from around 2019!

(yes, I was really into danmei and kpop back then, haha)

I just always loved drawing/painting faces and it was all I did. But at some point I realized that I wanted to do more than that because just portraits felt super restricting. So it took me around 2-3 years to somewhat find my style. Thought it would be fun to show a little timeline! Advice will follow afterwards :)

2020

I began working on my OCs in 2020 and since I didn't have an exact reference to work off of, I struggled a lot. My art from this year is super wonky.

2021

Still wonky, but the Lokius obsession was the jumpstart into finding my style! My work from this year is all over the place haha, I was experimenting a lot.

2022

This first ofmd piece is pretty much the first drawing where you can see where my style is gonna go, which I think is pretty cool! This is the year I made the biggest progress cos I was drawing SO much. These two pieces are only six months apart. The one on the right was the first time I gave drawing a background a proper go, too! It was a good year.

2023

And this is where I am now! I'm still constantly learning and improving, but I'd say I have a style you can recognize now!

Now here comes some actual advice, haha:

What I highly recommend you to do is to study your favorite artists as much as you can! I have like 5 A4 sketchbooks all from 2020 that I filled with sooooo many studies, where basically all I did was look at artists I like and copy how they draw stuff, to try and figure out how to stylize certain things. Some of my favorite artists are Ami Thompson, Velinxi and TB Choi. But I also liked to just scroll through pinterest and study all the art I came across that I liked! For example, if I saw a really great drawing of a pair of pants I would copy it many times in my sketchbook and try to learn how they stylized the folds. Doing this for a prolongued period of time will naturally improve your own work! It'll be difficult at first, but you gotta push through, it's gonna be worth it!

I also highly recommend studying unique faces to try and avoid the same-face syndrome. Find some cool looking people and try to draw them as simple as you can! Maybe even draw a little timeline where you first draw them as cartoon-y as you can, and keep going until you end up with a more detailed, realistic drawing. Maybe in the middle of it you find a step that feels the most fun to you, so you can try to build on that! It's a great way to figure out what kind of style might be the best for you.

Here are some cool faces I found on pinterest!

I have a pinterest board with many more!

One REALLY important part of learning how to draw all kinds of things is to understand forms and shapes and how to manipulate them. I have so many pages in my sketchbook filled with just shapes that I drew from all kinds of angles without any references.

This is a great video on it:

6 Ways to Draw Anything by Proko

Learning how to do this is so crucial! Young artists often think they first have to learn all kinds of detailed anatomy before doing anything else, but all that's gonna do is make you tired and hate drawing. Shapes are where it's at! Once you understand how shapes work and which ones to use for certain parts of bodies or objects, drawing is gonna get so much easier! Once you understand them, you can get into details such as muscles and bones!

And honestly the most important point is to just absolutely love what you're doing! I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the fact that I get extreme hyperfixations on certain media that turn me into some kind of beast where I can suddenly draw 10 detailed illustrations a week, haha. Just be passionate about what you do, find something you REALLY love and go crazy!

I really hope this was somewhat helpful! My inbox is always open if there's any more questions :)

[deerspherestudios]

Sprite Time!

Sprite work is underway! I'm re-doing sprites for Day 1 since I've gotten used to drawing Mychael the way I imagined him to look. His sprites were so scrunkly back when I was rushing for the game jam haha! His sprites didn't match the vibe of his CGs at all, which bothered me a lot.

That said, I'll probably continue on to make Day 2 sprites once I've got my groove going. (Yes, there's a large number for Day 2 but keep in mind it's minor facial changes to the sprite!)

CG work will have to be put on hold as I finish the sprites but with the way things are going I might be able to finish Progress 3 and 4 relatively close to each other? We'll see!

For now, there's a sneak peek of the first CG you'll encounter in Day 2 (spoilers) under the cut! And a direct comparison of an old sprite from Day 1 with a new one!

There's still some coding to do, such as a gender option for MC's cat, but I'll worry about those later once I've got all the visual assets ready!!

Thanks for reading! 🍄❤️

Finished CG

Old Sprite vs New Sprite

[olive-fics]

An Old friend.

Synopsis: After not seeing Abby for nearly 5 years, she suddenly comes back into your life like it was nothing.

Men DNI, Mature readers only, reposts are especially welcomed!, Not proof read lol

SUPPORT PALESTINE WITH A CLICK. https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　 　

The notification on your phone was just another blip in the background of your busy life. Work, deadlines, and the relentless march of time had pushed a lot of things into the recesses of your memory — including Abby Anderson.

The relentless flow of people outside in the streets and sidewalks caught your eye as you watched from above in your little cubical. . Lost in your thoughts, you were startled by another notification, this time from a friend, Ellie Williams.

You had met Ellie back in middle school, both of you were little nerds obsessed with savage starlight and music so you two instantly clicked.

"Wanna grab drinks after work? It'll be fun, pus it's a small break from work for you."

of course.

"Idk. . Who else is going? You bringing your 3rd girlfriend of the month with or something?"

"haha Y/N. Just us tonight, maybe we can find you a little girlfriend.."

"Ellie be so fr rn."

"ok ok. but just saying, If there's a hot lesbian there, I'm giving her your number."

"I swear to god.."

The post-Abby relationship had proven to be more challenging than you initially thought. Since the breakup and her abrupt move away, you hadn't gone into any other serious relationships. Sure, you engaged in casual conversations with a few people, but nothing seemed to progress beyond the talking stage.

Your friend Ellie was quite the opposite of you. Ellie is a party enthusiast, a self-proclaimed player, and a lesbian with unapologetic masculine energy. You never really understood how you two clicked.

Waiting for the clock at work to finally strike 5, signaling the end of the day, you finally get to go home. With a sigh, you scanned your closet, hoping to find something not so eye catching, you're just there for some drinks with Ellie. Plus.

You're probably going to be the one needing to carry her home later..

.

Throwing on a simple pair of jeans and a white T-shirt with a small work logo on it, you head out to the bar.

Ellie: "Y/N! Look at youuu! Finally out of the house.." Y/N:"Yeah yeahh.." Ellie:"Come- I already bought us a drink- then lets go dance."

You sighed, the corners of your lips turning up in a laugh as you joined Ellie.

.

Ellie: "So , Y/N. What's been happening in your mysterious world lately?"

Y/N: "Oh, you know, the usual. Work, school, a bit of Netflix.."

Ellie: "Of course.. So, anyone special in your life these days?"

Y/N: "Not really, just the usual talking stages. And you, Ellie? Still breaking hearts?"

Ellie: "Ah, you know me too well." .

The night had carried on, a blur of clinking glasses, casual conversations, and a soundtrack of questionable music.

Eventually, Ellie had to use the restroom, leaving you left by the drinks alone.

Feeling the effects of the drinks, you couldn't help but feel the buzz that had settled in. It had been a while since you let loose and allowed yourself to be carried away by the intoxicating combination of alcohol, and Ellie's horrible dad jokes.

As you searched through the crowd to find Ellie after noticing she disappeared that's when you heard it.

CLANK!

Before you could react you felt a rough hand grab yours and pull you up gently. Startled, you looked up to meet the gaze of the person who had inadvertently collided with you. Their eyes, filled with concern, met yours, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.

Why did she look so familiar..?

Suddenly snapping you out of your questioning they finally spoke.

"Are you okay?" they asked, their voice tinged with genuine worry.

Caught off guard you nodded, still processing the sudden turn of events. As you steadied yourself, you couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity that washed over you.

With a grateful smile, you huffed out a; "I'm fine, thank you. Just got a little lost in the crowd."

You then looked down at your shirt, it was stained red from the strawberry cocktail in her hands.

"Great.." you muttered under your breath, a mix of amusement and frustration.

"Let me buy you another drink to make up for it,"..

Caught in a moment of indecision, you looked up at the girl who had inadvertently stained your shirt.. Your thoughts shifted back to where you and Ellie had been seated for the night. You couldn't just leave Ellie, but the genuine offer of another drink lingered in the air, creating a little dilemma.

"Um, I appreciate the offer, really, but I'm actually here with a friend," you explained, trying to not seem rude.

The girl nodded understandingly, "No worries. I didn't mean to intrude on your night. If your friend is around, maybe we can all grab a drink together?"

You shrugged and nodded, why not?

She had noticed the stain worsening and quickly offered, "Could I at least help you wash that out? I'd hate to ruin your shirt completely..."

You looked down at the stain, and you couldn't deny it was pretty bad.

"Well, it's a unique fashion statement now, I guess,"

She laughed and gently took your hand. "Follow me."

You both went into the restrooms, you propped yourself on top of the sink. The girl then grabbed a Wad of paper towels and ran them under cold water to start blotting at your chest with them.

"Sorry again for the mess." she sighed and made eye contact with you, only to quickly look away.

Did she know something you didn't?..

.

Clearing your throat you looked down at her from the sink.

"It's really no worries.. It's an old shirt.."

"Still..You're all sticky now.."

"I think I've been through worse." You stifle a laugh and look away.

..

"So.. What's your name..?" She asked attempting to make small talk.

"Y/N."

"Right."

"Anyways..let me go buy you that drink."

"True."

You get off the counter and follow the girl back to the bar.

Eventually Ellie came back to her seat next to you.

"Oh? Y/N..Who's this? hmmmm?" She couldn't help but tease you.

"Oh please.. it's just a friend.."

"Right..Wait..what happened to your shirt?? I swear to god whoever did that to you I'll kick their ass-"

"It's okay.." You laughed and calmed Ellie's nerves.

"Accidents happen."

You look to the girl and laugh quietly. God you needed to go home.

..

"You seem on edge." Ellie called out as you two walked back to your apartment.

"Just..buzzed." You lied right to her. goodness.

"I know that's not all y/n."

"That girl was just.. really familiar. Did she seem that way to you too..?"

"Nope. You're just overthinking again."

"probably."

..

You made your way back to your apartment, eager to shed the stained shirt and uncomfortable jeans. As you undressed, something caught your attention in your pocket — a note with someone's number on it?

great.

Starting up a warm bath you add some bubbles and light a candle, you'll worry about the note later. You took off your bra and got into the bath tub scrolling on your phone to then look at the note sitting on your sink.

Fuck it.

"Hey, This the girl from the bar?" You wrote the text, you questioned if you even really wanted a reply.

Ping!

"hah! Yeah, it's me. wyd? :)"

"Taking a bath :p"

"Cute. Proof my love?"

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　 　

ok Ik this sucks but maybe I'll make a part 2..if that's something you guy's would like idk!! :)

[simmerianne93]

[Simmerianne93]Couple_poses_02_REMAKE

 Hello everyone!! How are you today?

Another remake is here!!! I'm so excited!!

I said i was going to bring one remake per month but i guess it's kind of difficult to keep that promise since i have a lot of packs coming each month and my time is not unlimited, so I'll be bringing them as frequently as I can >.< maybe every two ot three months. I'll be working on them regularly for sure 'cause there are still a few posepacks that need big improvements and I can't wait to do them.

As my last "remake" post, I'll be showing you each improvement i have made in each pose. It's kind of fun to see the differences between both versions and how far i have gotten as a posemaker.... and it is also a little bit of a shame for my old me, but I can live with it haha.

I tried to keep the poses as similar as possible (since it is a remake and not a new posepack) but I took the liberty of adding some changes to some of the poses that need them urgently (as pose #3 that was pose #2 before), and I even added a new pose to complete the pack with 12 poses as it's my usual. For the changes I did use the same "script" that i had in those days when i made the first version of this posepack for my story, so the intention that i wanted to show back then is still there.

BEFORE and AFTER photos were taken from the same camera angle in blender, to see with a better look the differences and improvement between the ORIGINAL pack and its REMAKE counterpart.

And, without further ado, I hope you enjoy seeing the progress I have made as a posemaker:

READ MORE IN THE ORIGINAL POST HERE.

----------

What is on it?

12 couple poses + a bonus "V2" of 1 of the poses (made with a Male and a Female rig) + 2 all in one for each one.

---

What do you need?

Andrew poses player

Teleport any sim by Scumbumbo or Mccc by deaderpool.

OPTIONAL: a small bonfire.

Instructions in the original post.

——

TOU

Do not claim my creations as your own.

Do not re-upload or modify my creations.

Do not make money of my creations.

Do not include my creations in Mods folders to download.

Please follow my Term Of Use.

——

Download it now here — FREE FOR EVERYONE!!

——————

If you want to support me:  Patreon | Ko-fi

All my poses overview: Pinterest |  Wix | Tumblr

More in-game preview pics of all my poses: Instagram

My socials: Twitter | BlueSky | Instagram | Tumblr 

——————

I really hope you like them and I will say in advance: Thank you so much for using them.

@ts4-poses

[displ3azant]

CURRENTLY ASK-ABLE: - Unpleasant - Infected (Plez oversees the questions, though.)

(Before cut is In-Character.)

Hiii! Helloooo!

Hello!!!!!! Hehe, thiz iz actually super weird trying to write an intro-- give me a minute.

So, HIII!!!!!!! I'm Unpleasant! That'z not a joke, that iz literally my name. There'z no "deep reason" behind it, it iz literally just what people refer to me az. But, if that'z too weird, I do also go by Unplez or Plez for short.

Uh, pronounz? I don't really care, actually. I don't have a set gender, I've never really met a gradient who doez. That being said, since I started hanging with Infected I have been called he and she specifically a lot... so if it'z easiest for you, just roll with the crowd.

Right, so... the blog. Thatz thiz blog, haha! Well, the easy answer iz I waz super bored, Infected can suck a huge ####, and I like talking about myself! But... I kind of suck at talking in general, so I guess I'll type and answer questionz about myself.

BUT KNOW MY BOUNDARIEZ BEFORE YOU ASK QUESTIONZ! 👇👇👇

(Below cut is Out-Of-Character.)

To those who know me: Good to see you're still stickin' with me! I promise I will make an effort to make this blog much less of a dumpster fire like the last one.

And to those who are only now coming across this blog: Hello! My name is Hex. You don't have to call me "Mod Hex", or anything, just "Hex" will do. I'm the only guy running this thing here. I'll talk more about myself soon, because oversharing is what I do best.

Blog-Context

So, if it wasn't obvious enough from the intro, this is an ask/rp blog for the Unpleasant Gradient from Regretevator, but specifically in the context of the plez-centric au I have created for him. Or, well, the "AU" in question is actually just some freaky amalgamation of all my fucked up headcanons, which means...

I AM NO LONGER DOING DIRECT BLOG ASSOCIATIONS! Really sorry about that, I love my friends with all my heart but if I wanna keep consistency, I'm gonna have to "write the story" on my own. However, I do want to give full credit to my friends @sk8tr1101 and @party-noob for some major concepts involving Unpleasant, especially Audrey who already has some awesome ideas herself. Go check them both out!

MAIN TAGS:

#unpl3zansw3rz - Asks

#unpl3zrambl3z - Non-ask related posts/reblogs

#unpl3zlor3 - Plot points and similar

#ooc - Out-of-character post

OTHER TAGS (to be updated):

(nothing yet, hehe)

Blog-Owner

So hiiii, I'm Hex. If I can be bothered, out-of-character posts will either have the #ooc tag, be in purple text, or be signed off with my name. I'd prefer if you refer to me using he/it pronouns, thnx!

I'd also like you all to keep in mind I am 17 years old, therefore a minor, and even if I wasn't 17 I do not appreciate NSFW/Explicit jokes towards me, ESPECIALLY if you don't know me. It's one thing when you're my very close friends or my partner, it's another thing when you are a stranger on the internet asking me things I should not have to answer.

My other accounts are: @hexexists - my main blog, if you receive notifications from this account, please know it is just me! @hexational - my regretevator blog @geometricgiovanni - a Jeremy ask/rp blog set in the same universe as this one! Please note, however, that in the context of this blog, Unpleasant is not aware of the blog nor would he like to be.

Ask/RP-Boundaries

Let's start off by reiterating that I AM NOT OKAY WITH NSFW/EXPLICIT ASKS IN ANY CAPACITY! Sick of getting them, they're repetitive and annoying. Asking safe-for-work questions involving Unpleasant's anatomy is one thing, but I am not responding to ANYTHING involving genetalia.

ALSO! I am very unlikely to respond to things that is either hard to make a unique drawing for or don't progress the story (unlocking "lore" and such). I'm watching your ass, Mango, I know what you like to do (/lh). Joke asks are still okay, you don't *have* to progress story, but please keep in mind my "criteria" for answering asks when sending them. A clean inbox gives me a clear mind. I do not like notifications.

Shipping content: Shipping content is okay, but I don't care much for romance personally and so will likely not play much into it. Please don't push anything, I guess, and nothing that promotes proshipping or any kind of literally illegal pairing. If you dislike any direction taken ship-wise for this blog, then block me and move on with your day.

Roleplaying: While I'd prefer to not be in direct contact with other rp blogs, I am totally cool with roleplaying side stories and stuff, interactions and such! Please keep in mind though, Unpleasant in this is not a very social person, so you're probably not going to get the reaction you want.

Also! I think OCs are super cool and am happy to respond/interact with them as well! However,

PLEASE DON'T SEND YOUR GRADIENT OCS TO THIS ACCOUNT IF YOU WANT ME TO DRAW THEM! Please instead send them to @hexational! A lot of people were sending me their Gradient ocs to the previous Unpleasant account, and as much as I love seeing Gradient ocs and Gradient sonas, I'd love to be able to draw them, and if you are just asking an opinion on them and not an in-character ask or a genuine question involving other gradients I'd much prefer you send them to the account previously tagged!

That's pretty much all I can think of! Sorry for the long post, I just have a lot to say hehe

Lots of love, - Hex

[more-the-maryer]

I'm finally unpacked and getting back into the groove after my cruise, so I thought I'd share a bit about the trip

Every morning I started my day at the buffet. My usual go-to's were yogurt with fruit, bacon, eggs benedict, sausage, french toast, a croissant and a cinnamon roll. Sometimes they'd have gelato so I'd get that too ☺️

Between breakfast and lunch I hung out by the pool. They had a soft ice cream dispenser and chicken burger place right next to the pool so I'd snack on that while sunbathing. I think I had upwards of 6 ice cream cones per day haha.

For lunch there were a few different restaurants, as well as the main buffet. I cycled between getting tacos, burgers, and chicken sandwiches. They had a cafe that served really good milkshakes so I often grabbed one of those to pair with my meal :) 

Between lunch and supper I actually tried to not eat that much because I didn't want to spoil my appetite for my favourite meal of the day. I was also pretty busy in the afternoons, i went to some of the onboard events like trivia and bingo (yes, I'm an old timer at heart), and spent a decent amount of time in the Casino (I'm not any good, I was just having fun learning blackjack). 

For dinner I went to the main dining room where they served a three course meal every day. The menu was on rotation but every meal was amazing. Id get 1-2 appetizers (often alfredo, shrimp, escargot, and other unique samplers), 2 mains (the brisket and salmon were some of my favourites), and 2 desserts (my favourite was the melting chocolate lava cake and the Baked Alaska). I could rarely finish it all, but I ate until I was completely stuffed every single night 🤤 it was all inclusive so I just ordered as much as I wanted haha

Almost every night after dinner I went to the comedy show, followed by whatever big show they had in the theatre. The comedy shows involved a lot of crowd work so they had me cackling every time. The entertainment in the theatre was a little lacking, but I still enjoyed it. 

They had a 24 hour pizza shack so I'd always go there in the late evening after each show, then I'd sit out on the main deck and watch whatever movie was playing while eating my pizza, it was so relaxing. 

I had a great time at each of the ports too. One (San Juan) involved a lot of walking but it was a beautiful city with really neat forts. The bars there made a mean Pina colada, so truth be told I was a little tipsy while wandering through the city haha. Another port had beautiful beaches and really clear water, so I spent most of my time laying by the beach and swimming. I didn't go on any excursions because I really wanted to relax on this vaca ☺️

Anyway it was a really great trip and I made sure to overindulge the whole time ☺️ I plan to post a post-cruise weigh in video on my OnlyFans soon, I can't wait to share my progress with you all!

Here's some pics of my first day relaxing on the pool deck 🍹​​​​​​​

[4dkellysworld]

Real talk: When I gave up

Okay real talk here. This journey isn't always easy, especially at the start when you've just learned everything and you're identifying with an ego. Near the beginning of my journey, I came to understand a lot of the teachings intellectually and even instinctively. There was only one thing left. To realize Self. And I would keep trying with all these practices but felt like nothing was "happening" (even though intellectually I already knew there was nothing to achieve since we are already Self!). It was frustrating (but of course! I was still looking at all this from the identification of the ego).

Then one day I was sick of trying, sick of feeling desperate, sick of being on this goddamn mental pilgrimage, that I decided to give up on trying altogether. I already AM Self. From that day on, I decided I would always identify as Self and never again as the ego. And that's when things started naturally unfolding without me even doing anything and I gained more understanding experientially. Probably an unpopular take (for realized gurus lol) but I also threw away self-inquiry as a practice because I found it to be the least helpful for me personally and why do I need to ask "Who am I" when I already know I Am?

Abandon all imaginings and know yourself as you are - Nisargadatta Maharaj

I stopped seeking. I stopped trying. I stopped asking questions (including self-inquiry yay!). I stopped doing any practices to "get" or "understand" or "realize" anything. I stopped caring about understanding more of the teachings or gaining more understanding intellectually. I stopped thinking of Self-identification as some goal to reach, something that I need to progress on. I stopped waiting for anything to happen and just enjoyed being in the Now. I didn't realise at the time and only now upon reflection I realise that I gave up on all ego activities on spirituality lol. All of that is the ego looking for something to do and trying to achieve something. Only through my experience, do I now understand more deeply the things that realized masters have said. E.g. Robert Adams said something like "stop trying and seeking to be liberated and you will be because you already are". We've imagined our prisons but we are actually already liberated and always have been.

I decided (because it's true!) I already AM Self, it's not something you need to become (or understand in order to become). And because I AM, there is nothing to do but be.

edit: I found this passage a day after writing the initial draft of this post and Robert Adams said the same thing! But giving up was something I was led to by listening to Self. Truth is Truth :)

There is nothing you can think of in this Universe that can tell you what you are. It is beyond words and thoughts. You can never with your finite mind understand who you are. So do not try to do this. It works in reverse. It is when you actually stop thinking about who you are, or wanting to know who you are, and you stop analyzing, and you stop trying to figure it out, that the truth about you is revealed. Self-Realization from Silence of the Heart - Robert Adams

Two things I didn't stop doing: observing as the witness consciousness and sitting in silence in the awareness of being. But both "practices" are things I as Self naturally do because it's my very nature! It's not the same as when I used to identify as the ego and did them because I was trying to achieve something. Sitting in silence & stillness is literally my favourite activity now haha. I'm not sure whether to describe witnessing my ego progressively dissolving or merging into Self because both feel correct? Ah but that doesn't matter. Another thing I stopped caring is to label things as well and just let everything be and unfold on its own - there truly is so much peace and beauty in just being Self! I'm only trying to use words to describe this to share with others in case it's helpful for their journeys but of course words are limiting and you can only understand this when you experience it yourself.

There is nothing to get, only just BE. And it is soooo freeing and wonderful once you understand this. Give up on trying to make the mind and ego understand you are Self, that is a fruitless task. Leave them be. Stop trying to make things happen and just let things be. The more you stay in silence with this understanding, the more the light of awareness shines through and the more you will experientially understand this. Allow things to be and happen on their own, including the permanent identification with Self. Have no desires, expectations or judgments and just surrender to the Now. Just keep being Self.

Only look at who you are, over and over and over until it becomes the permanent identification and replaces the ego. - 4dbarbie

Remember to listen to your own Self above all. Everything else is simply a guide to point you towards Self. You are your greatest teacher! So listen to your Self and do what feels right for you.

Your own self is your ultimate teacher, the outer teacher is merely a milestone. It is only your inner teacher that will walk with you to the goal, because he is the goal. - Nisargadatta Maharaj