#i'm still finding out queue i am
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Hi Stardust!

#personal art#I feel like I did pretty good on this Loop#I wanted more of a tilt to Loop's eyes but thats kinda hard with a star for a head haha#Still a really cute picture~#Isat#Isat loop#I've been looking my drafts and finding tons of art I've done#I'm queueing them so I am not freting on posting since a scheduled thing will post them.#Im shuffling so its a roulette what you see!!!#If you see this congrats!!!#I'm outing myself in the tags!!!!
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I'm almost finished with this notebook with it's horrible paper, and I just finished the first page of my Big Project
#Oh yeah - it's all coming together#Hgggg I am so sick of this notebook! It's wack as fuck!#It has made editing a Chore for the past eight months >:0 Not fun or meditative At All#Even worse is that the paper feels good to draw on but the cleanup is just! Awful!#I've just been completely ignoring my non-lined homemade notebook because it feels bad to draw on lol#The rest of the doodles for this year - yes that's how far the queue is backlogged rn lol - are still on that paper#But at least I'm like ><this close to being done with it ugh#I've got two blank pages and then like three half-doodled on pages that I'm planning to just knock out#It looks so weird 'cause the pages are all out of order lol - the first page was in March and the last in November#But like the next page after the first is /also/ November lol#Like it's largely in chronological order but it jumps around quite a lot! It was an interesting experiment#I also think it's funny since the first page got some fandom stuff that didn't come back around until now but it Looks chronological lol#I think I'll do it again but with some modifications - if I run out of steam/interest/motivation then I can fill it in however I want#Keeping it on-theme is fun but I find myself pushing ideas when I don't actually have any :P That's no good#It's not Always bad - I like quite a few of my spacefiller ideas! But if anything that just proves that finishing things out to make room-#Well like I said it was fun lol#And! As stated! I finished the first page of my big behind-the-scenes project! >:3c#Man I haven't worked on a comic proper-like in uhhhhh#It's gotta be at least five years lol geez#It's been a weird rhythm to try to fall into lol I'm Way out of practice - but it's nice to see it come together!#Lotta steps to get it into the shape I want - hard to sustain - but slowly and surely I've got this one :)#It'll be good to finally have it Out haha
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I really hate the public health system here sometimes
#i had an urgent referral to the rheumatologist sent last year that they fucked up and didn't read properly so i wasn't put in the queue#that wasted four months and i didn't hear back about it at all cause they didn't think to tell me anything 🙄#they said they apparently sent a follow up to my dr but they absolutely did not. she didn't have anything in her inbox at all#i had a second referral (the exact same one) sent almost a month ago and had not heard back so i called this morning#apparently im in the waitlist this time but I'm going to have to wait another three months to even find out when my appointment is#which could still be a month or two out#if they fucking read my referral properly the first time I'd already be seeing the specialist and getting the answers I need#I'm really pissed.#but great news. a different referral for a different thing finally got back to me and i have an appointment to see them in April.#guess how long I've waited for that??? FOUR YEARS#I'm ultimately glad we have public health but like... Jesus fucking Christ i would not be waiting like this if i had private health and $$$#so fucking stupid#why am i always waiting and waiting and falling through cracks. really fucking annoyed#delete later
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Tag Dump 1
#Ah. There he is. That motherfucker. What a tool. [OOC]#I'll never find a moment of peace. Even in the silence. [Meme. Specify Muse]#I swear we had the best intentions. [Answer]#I might have wept but there was no one around to prove it. [Queue]#When does a man become a monster? [Veld. Isms]#My heart could be burning but you wouldn't see it on my face. [Veld. Visage]#Is this the price I'm paying for past mistakes? [Veld. HC]#What is grief if not love preserving? [Veld. IC]#You haven't given into fear before. Why start now? [Jules. Isms]#I have always been full of light. [Jules. Visage]#They should be terrified of you. [Jules. HC]#I just wanna laugh through it all. [Jules. IC]#I just want to survive. [Ruluf. Isms]#I am going to find some trouble. I am going to make some trouble. [Ruluf. Visage]#I still know how to take the abuse. [Ruluf. HC]#Careful with me. I'm volatile. [Ruluf. IC]#Plenty of monsters know how to play at being human. [Vincent. Isms]#Not yet corpses. Still we rot. [Vincent. Visage]#This time around I'll make you proud. [Vincent. HC]#An echo of inflicted evil. [Vincent. IC]#Life isn't easy. Life isn't fair. [Ren. Isms]#Who we are versus who we need to survive. [Ren. Visage]#I will be the one to make it out alive. I will be the one to survive. [Ren. HC]#Fight it or accept it. [Ren. IC]#I fell in love with the fire long ago. [Rude. Isms]#He who creates misery also has the ability to destroy it with kindness. [Rude. Visage]#Do we get what we deserve? [Rude. HC]#One of us is gonna lose. [Rude. IC]#Rather die than give up on the fight. [Elena. Isms]#I wanna be loud. So loud. [Elena. Visage]
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$26.30/300
after officially 4 full weeks i am going to be back to work tomorrow! however, i do still need to pay bills before i'll have my first paycheck, specifically by monday, may 5th! i've lowered the goal just a touch since some meds can wait until after i get my check, but if ya'll can still spread this/help out it would be greatly appreciated!! thanks so much for the help thus far!!
please help your local disabled trans man being fucked over by its job
howdy! i'm nate and i currently work as an in-home caretaker for elderly and disabled folk! however, around 2 months ago my longterm client passed away very unexpectedly which left me without work for 2 weeks.
after that i did get a new client, but last monday (march 31) i got a call (at fucking 8:30 am. woke my ass up.) saying i didn't need to come in bc her daughter (who was in the process of moving in w her) is taking over as her caretaker. which like. fair.
BUT between the fact that she was always in and out bc of doctor appointments (also very understandable), and the fact that it has now been another week and a half since i've had hours to work, on top of the initial 2 weeks i was out, i'm uhhhhh hurtin a bit.
i've been checking with the manager every like 2-3 days to make sure there still aren't any clients i can take, literally just called today, but as of now i'm just sitting around with bills to pay and no way to get an income for who knows how long. SO.
IF you'd like to help out and you want something for your money there aint a lot i can offer, but i can do tarot readings, i can kinda draw (very slowly bc my hands r fucked up), do a bit of graphic design, write, and idk if you wanna pay me for something else send me a message and we can figure it out.
links below ˅˅˅
ANYTHING HELPS but for now. lets get through the month
$0/350
#if you saw me post this on another blog just now. no you didn't#anyway going to put this version in the queue for now#mostly i'd just been reblogging it whenever but last night i threw a few into the queue (sorry for the rhyme#it wasn't on purpose but it WILL happen again) bc i was like fuck. i got less than a week for bills.#AND its the client that it was already which is. interesting. apparently she requested me specifically#but i was told her daughter was the one who took over for me#and then i was told today that her caretaker quit#so idk if it was her daughter for a bit and then wasn't? or if her daughter quit for some reason??#i guess i'll find out when i get there but at the very least#her requesting me makes me feel like. she doesn't HATE me or something?#so that's reassuring. genuinely#even if she still has me take off a lot of days like before#its still a client i know and i know i won't have to push myself physically for#genuinely was worried id end up getting assigned to a client i cannot help at all#like the first one. where they gave me a lady who is paraplegic and like. needed to be lifted and other stuff#and i was like. look i'm disabled too they did not tell me this and in fact told me i'm not ALLOWED to pick you up#and she was like but how the fuck else am i supposed to get in the bath???#it was a back and forth and idk how long it had been going on before me but it seemed a while#no clue if it got resolved after me but genuinely like the manager said#she really needed to apply for a reevaluation so that she could be reclassified#and assigned ONLY workers who can lift her and have the training to do that safely and shit#like. she was taller than meeeeee even if i wasn't disabled how am i supposed to do that#i mean. i did. kinda. i made it work. but it sucked massively and she very much “fell” by a couple inches a few times#but she would beg and beg and get pissed bc she is a daily baths kinda person. which i get!#but again. you told the nurse that did your eval that you can walk. and you are now telling me that you can't#and i can SEE that you can't. so why NOT do a reeval. maybe the state wont cover it ig#and obviously that's fucked!#but me being there doesn't make it better regardless.#UHH but i WON'T be in that situation#since i know where i'm going
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I was just beaten, stabbed, and shot all in just the matter of a few days, each day a different incident or attack by an individual in my family and outside of my family by ppl around me, I had to get several stitches in my legs, arms, hands and even some in my face after being jumped and beaten and stabbed, I had a bullet pulled out my leg and my side, I was shot 8 times, 4 times in the legs and 2 times in my right lower abdomen and another 2 times in my left lower abdomen, I been in and out of the hospital including the mental hospital for suicide attempts as well as being harmed by transphobic ppl, I've been struggling paying for costs of a vet visit after my kitten was killed by my moms dog after she had her dog kill her, I've been raped, molested and abused by my family and ppl in my schools and neighborhood and I just get tired of being in this same situation surrounded by poverty, I live in a neighborhood where I'm constantly threatened for being a black trans woman and I have NO ONE TO TURN TO, I've tried getting help finding a new job but it's harder after constantly being fired for molestation at work and sexual harassment and constant work abuse I've been thru whether it was employees or managers targeting me with harassment and bullying within the workplace and it's been hard in general trying to get help with financial situations, paying for medical bills and get med assistance from the government and the city as well as mental health help for therapists, psychiatric help, and safe space havens or shelters, I've also been from mental health facility shelter to homeless shelters and been harassed, abused, raped and molested in EVERY SINGLE ONE, i am currently living in a rundown home surrounded by poverty and bad conditions, rusted bursted pipes, i have no plumbing, no water, no way to get anything to drink, to clean stuff with, i dont have water for dishes to be cleaned, laundry to be washed, or to bathe or shower in or to take a piss or shit in either and there are several dead cats in my basement as well as raccoons from all the holes in the walls, I had to freeze in the winter and was trying to get help from the city with some government assistance and I'VE YET TO GET ANY HELP, ANY THERAPISTS FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH I'M STILL ON A QUEUE, I HAVE NO HELP FOR MENTAL HEALTH MEDS, OR PSYCHIATRIC HELP, I can't seem to afford to get help with much even after succeeding my Gofundme goal because I had to use most of that money for food for me and my cats and keep cleaning products to get my home clean WHICH IS STILL A MESS. so what i need anyone to do for me if yall POSSIBLY CAN, is reblog this as much as you can and please share my links to donation help with pet food, water, meds, med help, mental health help, finding an apartment, getting a bed or mattress, and any daily needs and necessities IF YALL CAN.
My goal is to get at least $2500 to $3000, I know it's alot but rn I need as much as I can possibly get, yall can send anything, nothing is too small it's ALL APPRECIATED. IF PPL CAN SEND AT LEAST 25 OR 30$ EACH IT WOULD HELP OUT SO MUCH, BUT AGAIN ANY AMOUNT IS APPRECIATED. THIS is REALLY IMPORTANT!!....I'M TRYING MY BEST TO SURVIVE RIGHT NOW!
Cashapp: $Slasherstan91
Venmo: Negrophiliac (I know the name's wild 😭)
Chime: $MarsRayL
Paypal: paypal.me/MarsRayL


#black tumblr#black trans women#black lgbtq#mutual aid#black lives matter#black mental health#black women#please help#donation post#please donate#extremely urgent#need help#please reblog
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💫 Starry-Eyed 💫
Pairing: Porn Star! Spencer Reid x fem! Reader
For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge
Summary: For work experience, you take a job working the cameras on a porn shoot, but after becoming suddenly attracted to a new coworker, you shortly find yourself as a fluffer, the person whose job it is to keep the "talent" aroused between takes.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Porn AU, College AU kinda, exhibitionism, oral sex (f receiving), consensual voyeurism, masturbation (male), blow job, deep throating, messy orgasm.
A/N: Well, look at where we are. I think this actually counts as my first Alternate Universe fic, which is crazy all things considered. I'm really enjoying the Kink Bingo Challenge as it's leading me to so many new ideas for fics!! I hope you all enjoy this one 🥰
Masterlist || Bingo Board
Being a college student still at age 25 meant many things, but mostly, it meant you had friends at many different stages of their lives. Some were fresh out of high school halls, enjoying their first taste of freedom, some were enjoying their first drops of alcohol. Some were giving up alcohol for good and starting families.
Some of them were successful porn stars who'd funded their own start-up porn production company. It certainly was one way to use a film degree. You knew a professor or two who would enjoy her work more than half your syllabus as well.
Candi Rapper had become famous doing cam shows in her first year of college and had gone all-in after graduation. You'd shared a few classes in the early days, before you took a break from college for financial reasons, of course. By the time you'd gone back, she was a big time and now in the position to offer you a job.
“One of my crews is down a cameraman this weekend. If you're open to it, I pay a fair wage?” she'd offed at your weekly brunch.
“Will you be the star?” You joked back with her.
“You wish.”
You took the job, of course, along with a ride from Candi (her name was Kate, but you'd let her pretend) and pulled up on site bright and alert at 7am.
The set was a large mansion - typical, Candi said - and you'd be mostly shooting in the living room - typical, Candi said. You'd had to tell her after her second typical that you were, in fact, an adult and had seen at least one porno before until she cut out pornsplaining everything to you. She introduced you to the key staff and the director, and they got you set up at your camera.
“The shoot today is going to be around 5 hours. You'll be on camera three. The papers in front have your cues and directions. You can have some free time until we start. There's a breakfast spread in the kitchen, help yourself.”
Not one to turn down free food, you bee-lined there and stood awkwardly in line for the coffee with the dozen or so other crew members, eyeing up the take-out pancakes organised across the granite surface.
“Your first time?” An older man asked from behind you, smiling in a friendly manner.
“You can tell?”
“You're thinking about eating the pancakes, and the rest of us are remembering the scene filmed there last weekend," as if on queue, a shiver ran down his spine. "Yeah, we can tell.” You laughed along with the man's joke and finally grabbed your coffee.
Luck just wasn't on your side, though, as you turned and immediately ran into someone immediately sloshing the coffee onto your shirt.
“Oh my god, I am so - I'm so sorry, I need to watch where I'm going.”
You'd run into 6’3” of lanky, awkward male perfection. He looked young, your age or younger most likely, and was fidgeting as he stood, the most obviously uncomfortable person in the building.
Your first thought was “Is he lost?” closely followed by “Can I beg him to get lost in a linen closet somewhere with me?”
He grabbed a handful of tissues from the counter nearby and began attempting to wipe away the coffee you'd spilt down yourself, completely unaware that he was fondling your breasts in his haste to do so.
“Slow down there, tiger, shoot doesn't start for another half hour,” you said, winking at him as you took the tissues from his panicked hands and dried yourself as best you could.
“I know, I memorised the call sheet. Who are you?” His question was blunt, but you weren't taken aback at all, your smile even deepening as you enjoyed his subtle attention.
“I'm Y/N. It's my first time.”
He spluttered, coming up with an answer to that, and you immediately cursed yourself for the slip.
“My first time on set, not my- I'm 25. Not that age determines experience per say but-”
“I'm 22. And my name is Spencer,” he said, grasping your hand and shaking it.
“So, it's your first time on set?” He asked, relaxing more into the conversation as he stepped closer to you, letting the other staff members come and go from the kitchen.
“Yeah. My friend offered me the job, you know Candi?”
He nodded but didn't speak, so you continued.
“She thought the experience would be good for me. And the cash. Gotta put myself through college somehow, and it was this or stripping.”
He laughed, and you felt a flash of warmth in your stomach, a familiar hunger spreading across your lower body. Maybe it was just the atmosphere of the set, but the air was charged with arousal.
“Well, you're certainly attractive enough to do both jobs. I'm sure the camera is going to love you,” he said, sounding so genuine and enthusiastic that you almost felt bad you had to correct him.
“Oh! Oh, no, Spencer, I'm not - I'm, uh, I'm going to be behind the camera. Behind camera number two.”
His face instantly flushed, and you thought you saw a pang of disappointment there for a second, too. The thought of him being disappointed made your skin heat, that he'd been looking forward somehow to watching you get fucked? Your cunt throbbed and suddenly, you found you did wish to display yourself, to let everyone see if it meant that he got to.
“I am so sorry. I didn't - I thought… No, I didn't think, I… I'll shut up now, please excuse me-”
“No, Spencer, wait-”
You tried to call after him, but he sent you an embarrassed smile and walked off in haste, leaving you behind as the director called people to their places.
You were still flushed with arousal as you moved to your station, getting your camera ready for filming. You were distracted even as the scene started, and the female actress came on set, already stripped down to her underwear and touching herself, teasing the camera.
Surprisingly, you found the work easy enough, too busy focusing on the settings and the gaze of the camera to even care about what was going on down the lens. She was moaning and writhing and gasping sure, to the benefit of the cameras, and although strangely intimate, nobody in the room seemed bothered, so neither did you.
Or neither did you until the actual scenario started, and your actress got ‘caught’ doing the dirty by the needy boy next door. You hadn't looked at the call sheet closely enough as Spencer peeped through the door to the bedroom, entering the scene not by accident but as a scripted part of the show.
Your eyes bulged out of your head as you immediately looked down to your prompt sheet to find his name there.
LEAD ACTOR: SPENCER REID
His stage name was scribbled next to that, but you paid it no attention as you steadied your camera again and got to filming seriously again.
The actress had pulled his glasses off and led him to the bed, letting him keep on his sweater vest and tie as she pulled his head between her legs, and he started doing his job.
Even from your view to the side of him, you could tell this wasn't his first time doing that. His tongue spread across the expanse of her heat, first, letting her grind into his face, getting comfortable before he snaked a hand up to her stomach and held her in place for as long as he so desired.
Then, he rolled her clit into his mouth and sucked. The fake moans and whimpers suddenly became real as you saw the sheer skill of his tongue ripple through the woman's body.
You couldn't even be jealous at this point, despite how much you sorely wished that were you on the bed. Surely no girl had resorted to porn out of pure horny desire before, right?
After a while of letting her gasp and moan under his tongue, Spencer's fingers curled inside the other woman as well. The director called cut, and he kept his fingers there, even as they walked him through the next few shots, and instructed him to unzip his pants in the next few clips.
“Shit,” you muttered to yourself as the cameras started rolling again, and he did finally free himself from his tight khakis.
You knew you'd probably sign up for whatever was on offer at this company next to see that gift again. Spencer wasn't an impressive size or girth, nothing so alien or out of the ordinary that it only belonged in porn. It was just that his cock looked so… pretty.
He was an inch or two longer than any man you'd ever been with, you were sure, but his cock seemed to have an air of dignity about it.
You had to stop yourself at that thought. Dignity? Really? You were working part-time on a porn set, and there was suddenly dignity involved?
You rolled your shoulders back and tried to find your earlier unbothered attitude. But with his cock in his hands and his face slick with female arousal, you really couldn't bring yourself to think about anything less than his fingers roughly finger-fucking you.
You tried to close your eyes to it, to be blind, but the wet, sticky sounds only distracted you and you found yourself soon swaying, swaying, swaying until you had to catch yourself before the camera dropped.
With a shout of “yes, baby, yes,” the female star came on his face, sending up a furret of fluids as he just kept diligently stroking his cock, only stopping at the director's final yell of “CUT.”
“Perfect guys, let's get her up and drinking water again. You need to stay hydrated after all that,” he joked, a PA walking over to pass the actress a robe and a bottle of water as she walked off set.
You relaxed for a second, trying to find your quickest route out of the room so you wouldn't have to drool over the man's cock so obviously any more.
“FLUFFER? Where's the fluffer?” The director yelled, looking around for someone who obviously wasn't there yet.
“Well?”
Still, no one arrived to do whatever job they needed doing, and you felt desperate for escape.
“New girl, would you mind?” Some crew member called out from the sidelines, nodding at you.
“Oh, uh, sure,” you said, hoping that whatever job you agreed to would get you far enough from this room and the heat between your legs as possible. You were not a prude, and you would not bolt from your very first film shoot.
“Great, get on the bed and keep the boy company,” the director said before exiting the room.
You were absolutely on board with becoming a prude and bolting the scene as fast as your legs could carry you. Unfortunately, eight people still sat around, monitoring equipment and chatting on their breaks, and so you were forced to comply with the task.
“We meet again,” you greeted the man stiffly as you found him on the bed, an apprehensive, tight smile on his own face.
“You don't have to do this if you're uncomfortable, I can keep myself… occupied.”
You noticed then that his hand was still wrapped around his cock, giving it slow strokes, not enough to tip him over the edge, but just enough to maintain the erection.
“So the fluffer….?”
“Prepares the actors for the next scene? I need to stay- let say in shape.”
His face flushed crimson as your gaze slipped down to his cock in his hand.
“So you want me to-”
“NO. No, I usually only talk to the Fluffers. Look at them, you know?”
You nodded and found yourself suddenly going still, watching his face contort with pleasure as his eyes raked over your chest and legs.
You couldn't help but let your eyes dart south again, and fuck did you wish you hadn't. His spare hand fisted the sheets as he stroked himself gently, practically taunting himself with the light touch.
“You do this often?” you asked, trying to pretend you were open to having a normal conversation even while your brain begged you to climb into his lap and sink down as fast as you could.
“You mean maaturbate or the porn thing?”
“Porn.”
“No. No, I come in for a shoot every few months. One of these shoots tends to fund another semester of my PhD, so-”
Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were impressed by that admission, but your predominate thought was still “shit, shit, shit, shit.”
“That's impressive,” you said, only catching your words as they tripped out of your mouth. “THE PHD! The PhD, I mean not your… penis? Not that it isn’t appealing, or- or-.”
You tried your hardest to use the most clinical word you could, distancing yourself from the honeyed words you so wanted to drop in his ear to get him to crawl further up the bed and entice him to make his own scene with you.
“Thank you. It's my third,” he said, slightly more relaxed now that you were the flustered one.
“PhD that is. Not cock. I only have one of these.”
“One is enough,” you say, unable to stop the words tumbling out as your eyes again find themselves following each pump of his hand up and down his cock. Inwardly, you curse your friend for starting up her stupid business and paying you to simply exist in the same hemisphere as this man without being able to ride him.
“Do you want to touch it?” He asked, blurting the words out suddenly. As if God had answered your prayers, your heart leapt up into your throat, your pussy clenching around nothing as you shifted your hips closer to him.
You'd thought then that you'd quite enjoy bouncing on that thing yourself, but a handshake would have to do.
“So you have to stay hard, but-”
“But it's best I don't cum, yeah.”
“Okay. Noted.”
Slowly, you reached out a hand and gently wrapped each finger around the tip of his cock. He released himself and wrapped his now free hand around yours, setting the pace for you quickly as he engaged you in conversation again.
“So, where are you from?” He asked, as inept at small talk as you felt in that second.
You answered him without a fuss and returned the question. Las Vegas. That seemed to check out with how easily he'd broken into porn. There was always something happening in that city.
"How'd you get into the business?"
"Well, Vegas, you know. A producer saw a group of... street ladies offer me a freebie and gave me his card."
You went back and forth on questions like that for a few minutes before you noticed he was coughing every few seconds to mask moans and groans, evidently too into this to request you stop.
“Is it okay to…Can I touch you?” He asked, sounding very afraid of rejection at that second.
“Oh, um, yes. That'd only be fair, right?”
He ran a hand up your waist to the curve of your breast and pressed his fingers into one, digging into the skin as though it were a pillow, and he was testing it before he fell head first into it.
Maybe that was just wishful thinking, though.
Temporarily, you let go of him, popping the front buttons of your blouse until he could freely see all of your black and red bra, and feast on the tops of your dusty nipples, peaking out just above each cup.
You heard him inhale sharply, even as he tried to hide it, but you didn't care, too transfixed on the precum decorating his tip.
“Would you mind-” You started, but cut yourself off quickly, biting your lower lip.
“Mind?”
“Can I suck it?”
You didn't know where it came from because there were probably half a dozen other people still in the room, and mostly men. But dear god, he looked delicious, and you wanted just a little sample.
“Fuck yes,” he said, finally giving in and letting out a whole gust of breath as he slumped down a bit further, no longer holding himself rigid. “No, no, actually, please do. I'm begging, I'll beg-”
You cut him off by pushing yourself to your knees and crawling in between his, and seconds later, you were licking the length of his cock from the base of his balls all the way to that precious drop of precum.
Hard, but no cumming. You could do that. You'd never done it before, preferring to fully pleasure sexual partners any chance you got, but there was no time like the present to start learning.
Slowly, you wrapped your lips around his tip and sank down, taking one inch, then another, and then another. When you reached the base of his cock, you pushed that little bit further down, calming yourself and going slowly so you didn't gag, nose pushing into his neat public hair before pulling away just as slowly and doing it again.
You took him as deep down your throat as you could manage, and suddenly, it was like everything that kept your conversation casual and civil earlier had flown out the door. He threw his head back, fisted his hand in your hair, and moaned deep.
The sound shook you so much you almost pushed a hand into your own underwear and started fucking yourself, needing to prepare yourself for him like a good girl.
Around you, you could hear signs of the shoot starting back up again, people finding their places, still all but ignoring you deep-throating a porn star.
Spencer's breaths grew more rapid as you sucked him, hips becoming restless as he tried to lift up into your mouth, hand in your hair tightening as you realised your mistake.
You pulled off his cock and grasped it again, stroking it slowly, but it was too late. With a sharp moan and a twitch of his hips, Spencer so prettily decorated your chin and chest. His cum dripped down your face, hitting your cleavage and pushing further down to stain your nice black laced underwear white.
“Fuck! Sorry, I wasn't meant to do that, let me get some - Can I get a towel please? A baby wipe? Some tissue, anything?” His voice was panicked, but his hand on your head relaxed, and he brushed your hair gently behind your ear, as if comforting you.
He was panicked, for sure, but the crew calmly handed him everything he needed, as if they'd been in anticipation of just this thing happening. You supposed they probably were, this being a porn set. You were sure you were supposed to clean yourself up, but instead, he grabbed a wet tissue, leaving the pack just out of your reach.
He managed to clean your face off a bit before the director returned to the room with a laugh. Running a hand through his hair and messing it up slightly, the director turned back to you.
“We're five minutes out from shoot time,” he said, shaking his head. You started to apologise, but he stopped you with a hand.
“New girl, work whatever magic you just did and get him hard again. Five minutes.”
“W-What?” You spluttered, trying your best to rise from your knees, but ultimately failing. You were either stiff from the position or just weak with arousal.
“He just came, I don't think I can-”
“10 pictures I've done with that kid, and I haven't seen him cum that quickly ever before in my life. And certainly not just for some kitten licks. Do it.”
You turned back to Spencer, his cum still trickling down your chest, creating an almost uncomfortable stiffness as it dried up.
“Pleasure working with you?” You said, not-so-secretly ecstatic that you got to sample him once more.
“I'll be in your care,” he replied, as you begin softly kissing the head of his cock again, tipping his head back again and losing himself in the pleasure or your tongue.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#reiderslibrary#spencer reid fanfic#mgg#spencer reid smut#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fandom#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#cmkinkbingo2024
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best lover —



pairing : bf!taesan x gn!reader
summary : after taesan works hard for the newest comeback you wanted to get him a gift... something perfect. but you don't know what exactly to get him so you get help from his roommate.
warnings : fluff, angst (just a little bit), tense confrontation, some music references, taesan gets kinda jealous, kind of a continuation of this fic
a/n : this lowkey made me relapse into the emo/punk genre and now i'm actively listening to them again ! taesan so silly here.
queueing : best lover - bibi, and july - heize + dean
[requested]
— wc : 4.8k — not proof read —
you’ve always known taesan was cool.
not in the tryhard way, not in the way people force an image to seem untouchable. no, he’s effortlessly cool. the kind of cool that comes from simply existing, from being so unapologetically himself that it draws people in.
his aesthetic is proof of that—dark clothes, silver rings, an ever-growing collection of band tees that he claims aren’t a collection but still seem to multiply every time you see him. his playlists are filled with gritty guitar riffs and melancholic lyrics, songs that feel like they belong in a coming-of-age film.
you love it. you love the way he leans against walls like a movie character, the way his fingers tap out drum beats on tables when he’s lost in thought. the way his voice gets softer when he talks about music, when he lets his guard down just enough for you to see the warmth underneath.
so, when their comeback is finally announced, when you see the hours of training, late-night rehearsals, and exhaustion culminate into something incredible, you know you need to do something. something that says, i see you. i see how hard you’ve worked, and i’m proud of you.
but what do you get someone like taesan?
he’s never been the type to want extravagant gifts. he shrugs off praise, mumbles “it’s nothing” when people tell him he’s done well. but you know he keeps every little note fans give him, that he still has the random trinkets the members bought him over the years.
so it has to be something personal. something that actually means something.
you think about it for days, running through ideas in your head. clothes? no, too easy. he already has everything he likes. accessories? maybe, but he’s picky, and you don’t trust yourself to pick out something he’d actually wear.
and then it hits you.
vinyls.
taesan loves music in a way that’s deeper than just listening. he collects records, always talking about how certain albums sound different on vinyl, how the warmth and crackle make it feel more alive. you’ve seen the way he runs his fingers over the covers, the way he carefully places them on his turntable like he’s handling something sacred.
but you don’t know enough about it.
you know the bands he listens to, sure, but not the specific pressings, not which editions are worth having, not which ones he’s been searching for. you need help.
so, you text the only person who would know and would be the most help.
sungho.
—
you: hey, random question, but do you think you could help me with something?
he replies almost immediately.
sungho: depends. am i gonna regret saying yes?
you snort. typical.
you: no, it’s for taesan. i wanna get him some vinyls, but i don’t know which ones he’d actually want.
a pause. then—
sungho: oh. you’re going ot make him a happy boyfriend for sure. sungho: yeah, i can help. you free tomorrow?
relief washes over you.
you: yeah. thanks, sungho. seriously.
sungho: don’t thank me yet. wait till we actually find something good.
you smile, pocketing your phone.
this is a good plan. a perfect plan.
now, you just have to keep it a secret.
the next morning, you wake up with a nervous excitement buzzing under your skin.
taesan is still half-asleep when you see him, his hair messy from sleep, the collar of his oversized shirt slipping down one shoulder. he looks soft like this, different from his usual sharp edges and guarded expressions.
“morning,” you say, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before he can grumble in protest.
he mumbles something incoherent, eyes still closed, before reaching out and lazily wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you closer.
you laugh, poking his side. “i have to go out for a bit.”
that wakes him up a little. his eyes blink open, groggy but alert. “where?”
you freeze for half a second before forcing yourself to play it cool. “just running errands.”
his brow furrows slightly, but he doesn’t question it. instead, he just tightens his grip around you for a moment before letting go.
“be safe,” he mumbles, voice still thick with sleep.
your heart squeezes at that.
you brush his hair out of his face, letting your fingers linger for a second longer than necessary. “always.”
—
meeting up with sungho feels like a mission.
he’s already waiting outside the taesan's dorm room, dressed casually but still effortlessly put together, a stark contrast to the slightly chaotic energy you’re bringing with you.
“you look nervous,” he says, amused.
“because i am.”
he raises an eyebrow. “it’s just vinyl shopping.”
“yeah, but it’s for taesan,” you stress. “i can’t mess this up. i need to find something perfect.”
sungho rolls his eyes but leads the way inside the vinyl store, hidden in the corners of the busy streets.
the moment you step in, you’re overwhelmed.
rows and rows of records stretch out in front of you, organized into sections you barely understand. the store smells like old paper and something nostalgic, a quiet hum of music playing from the speakers.
sungho glances at you. “you know what bands he likes, right?”
you nod. “yeah, but i don’t know what he already has.”
“then we start with the basics.”
he guides you through the aisles, pointing out albums that fit taesan’s taste. some are obvious bands you’ve seen on his playlists, artists you recognize from the posters in his room. others, not so much.
“this one’s a classic,” sungho says, pulling out a worn-looking album. “he’s mentioned it before, i think he even has a t-shirt of them.”
it was the black parade by my chemical romance
you take it from him, running your fingers over the cover. “do you think he already has the vinyl?”
sungho shakes his head. “nah, he would’ve bragged about it if he did.”
you smile at that. taesan isn’t the bragging type, not really, but when it comes to things he loves, he can’t help but share them with you. you can already picture the way his eyes will light up when he sees the gift, the way he’ll trace the album cover with careful fingers before hugging you in that quiet, deliberate way of his.
this is good. this is exactly what you wanted.
you glance at sungho. “i think we’re on the right track.”
he smirks. “told you.”
you roll your eyes but can’t hide your grin.
this is going to be perfect.
if you can keep it a secret long enough.
you flip through the stacks carefully, the plastic sleeves crinkling under your fingertips as you skim the selection. rows of album covers stare back at you, some bold and vibrant, others muted and mysterious, each one a different piece of someone’s story.
sungho stands beside you, already pulling out records with ease, flipping them over to check editions and pressings like it’s second nature.
“how do you even know all this?” you ask, watching as he inspects a black-and-white cover, his eyes narrowing slightly before he shakes his head and puts it back.
he smirks. “taesan’s not the only one with taste, you know.”
you roll your eyes. “yeah, but you act like this is your second home.”
he hums, running his fingers along the edge of a shelf. “it kinda is. when i first moved into the dorms, i’d come to places like this just to kill time. got to know a lot about music that way.”
that makes sense. sungho has that effortless, older-brother energy, the kind that makes you feel like he’s always been one step ahead of everyone else. but even so, you know there’s more to it. something about the way he says it, like music was a comfort rather than just a hobby.
you glance down at the album in your hands. the artwork is dramatic, painted in deep reds and blacks, the kind of thing you could easily imagine taesan leaving out on his desk just because it looks cool. it was titled a fever you can’t sweat out this time, by panic at the disco
you hesitate. “what about this one?”
sungho looks over, and to your relief, he nods in approval. “solid pick. taesan likes them. they have that whole raw, gritty sound he’s into.”
you exhale, setting it aside in the growing pile of vinyls you’ve picked out. “good. i was kinda guessing.”
sungho snickers. “if you were completely guessing, you would’ve picked something embarrassing.”
you give him a flat look. “i wouldn’t do that.”
“you sure? no boyband vinyls hidden in that stack?”
“why are you acting like that would be a crime?”
he laughs, shaking his head. “nah, but taesan would probably combust.”
you grin at the thought. he probably would. his whole tough, brooding image crumbling the second someone dared to associate him with anything remotely bright and upbeat. you’ve teased him about it before, played pop songs in his presence just to watch him pretend he wasn’t listening.
but this isn’t about teasing him. this is about him.
you glance around the store, taking in the dim lighting, the faint sound of a record spinning in the background. a few other customers linger nearby, flipping through vinyls with the same careful reverence, but none of them seem rushed. it’s the kind of place taesan would get lost in, taking his time with every shelf, soaking in the atmosphere.
you wish he was here.
you shake the thought away before it can settle too deep.
“okay,” you say, straightening up. “i think i need at least one more.”
sungho scans the shelves before reaching over and pulling out a record without hesitation.
“this.”
you take it from him, studying the cover. it’s striking… american idiot by greenday.
“he’s been looking for this one,” sungho explains. “i remember him complaining about how it’s always out of stock.”
your chest warms. “then that’s perfect.”
sungho grins. “congrats, you officially have a good gift… or multiple”
you roll your eyes but can’t help but smile. “thanks for the approval.”
“anytime.”
you head to the counter, placing the records down carefully as the cashier rings them up. the prices make you wince a little. vinyl collecting is not cheap. but you don’t hesitate. taesan is worth it.
when you step back outside, the air feels cooler, a slight breeze brushing against your skin. sungho stretches beside you, squinting up at the sky.
“so,” he says. “how are you planning to give it to him?”
you blink. “uh. just... give it to him?”
he gives you a flat look. “you’re really bad at this.”
“excuse me?”
“c’mon,” he says. “you go through all this trouble, sneak around just to surprise him, and you’re just gonna hand it to him like it’s a bag of chips?”
you frown. “what am i supposed to do? make a scavenger hunt?”
“i mean, that would be funny.”
“sungho.”
he chuckles. “fine, fine. but at least make it a moment, you know? like, put them in a nice box or something. set the mood a little.”
you consider that. he’s right. you don’t just want this to be a casual exchange. you want taesan to feel how much this means.
“okay,” you say slowly. “i’ll think of something.”
sungho pats your shoulder. “good. because if you don’t, i’m telling him i helped.”
you gasp. “you wouldn’t.”
his grin is downright evil. “try me.”
you groan, shoving him lightly as he laughs.
but despite the teasing, there’s a warmth in your chest that wasn’t there before. because for all the effort, all the second-guessing, all the overthinking. you know this is the right thing to do.
you just hope taesan sees it that way, too.
you and sungho are now wandering the streets, bags in hand, the weight of them a constant reminder of what you're keeping from taesan. there's a knot in your stomach, anxiety creeping in at the thought of what will happen once you return to the dorm.
sungho notices you fidgeting with your phone, eyes flicking between your screen and the road ahead. "you've been checking your messages like every two seconds," he says with a knowing smile. "taesan giving you trouble?"
"i... i don’t know," you mutter, glancing at your phone again. "he hasn’t texted yet. i think he’s mad."
sungho snorts. "he’s always mad."
you roll your eyes but can't help the tension building inside you. it's not like taesan to be suspicious like this. sure, he's possessive at times, but you’ve always been upfront with him. today, though, everything feels off. you know he’s probably wondering where you are, especially after leaving so abruptly.
after a few more moments of walking, your phone buzzes in your hand. it’s a message from taesan.
you open it quickly, your heart dropping when you read the text.
taesan: where are you?
you can almost hear the frustration in his words, even though they’re so short. you hesitate for a moment, trying to figure out how to respond. the last thing you want is to reveal anything.
“everything okay?” sungho asks, glancing at you with a raised eyebrow.
“yeah,” you say quickly, typing back a response. "just... running… errands…"
you: just out. why?
you hit send and try to push the worry away. but it doesn’t help when your phone buzzes again, another message from taesan.
taesan: are you by yourself?
your stomach tightens. it feels like he’s fishing for something, trying to confirm his suspicions. you swallow hard. taesan doesn’t know you’re out with sungho. he probably thinks you’re just alone, maybe out with someone else. the thought of him jumping to conclusions makes you tense up.
“you need to tell him the truth, man,” sungho says, half-joking but still serious. “it’s gonna be hard to keep it up much longer.”
you bite your lip, looking at the text again. taesan doesn’t like being kept in the dark. but if you tell him you're out with sungho, there's no way you can keep the surprise a secret.
you: yeah, just me. out by myself.
you send the message quickly, almost immediately regretting it. the lie feels wrong in your gut, but you can’t risk ruining the surprise.
as soon as you hit send, another text from taesan comes through.
taesan: you didn’t tell me where you went. it’s weird, you know. don’t lie to me.
your heart sinks. this is exactly what you were afraid of. you can feel his frustration radiating through the words, even though they’re brief. taesan might not say it outright, but you know he’s pissed.
“is he mad?” sungho asks, eyes narrowing as he watches you.
“yeah,” you say quietly, looking at the screen again. “he thinks i’m lying.”
sungho tilts his head, his expression softening. “well, you kind of are...”
you groan, feeling guilty. “yeah, but if i tell him the truth, he’ll know what we’re really doing.”
sungho sighs but doesn’t press. “you’ve got to be careful, though. taesan can’t stand being lied to. he might feel like you’re hiding something else.”
you take a deep breath, trying to push the anxiety aside. “he’s just overthinking it. i’ll deal with it when we get back.”
you walk in silence for a bit longer, and the weight of the lie is starting to feel unbearable. but then your phone buzzes again. it’s from taesan.
taesan: riwoo just told me you’re out with sungho. why didn’t you say that?
your heart stops. it feels like everything is crashing down around you. of course, taesan would hear from riwoo. he always does. but you didn’t think it would happen so soon.
sungho laughs lightly, though it’s more nervous than anything else. “i mean, it’s not like you didn’t want him to find out.”
you stare at the message, feeling a mix of guilt and frustration. “he’s so mad now...”
“you better fix it,” sungho says with a small chuckle. “he’s gonna blow up on you if you keep avoiding the truth.”
you sigh, rubbing your eyes. “i don’t know how to fix it. i’ve already lied twice.”
“well,” sungho says, “maybe you just gotta... tell him the truth at this point. no more hiding.”
but you’re not ready to do that. not yet. the surprise is too important to mess up now.
you type out a message, your hands shaking a little as you try to keep it steady.
you: i’m sorry. we just bumped into eachothee
you press send, waiting for taesan’s response with bated breath.
it takes a while, but finally, your phone buzzes.
taesan: it was a coincidence?
you let out a sigh of relief. it's not as bad as it could have been, but you still feel like you’ve messed up.
you: yeah, i went out to grab some stuff, and boom, sungho was there getting some stuff for the dorm too
you wait for a reply, and when it comes, it’s still not as angry as you expected, but you can hear the frustration in taesan’s words.
taesan: you know, you could’ve just told me. i don’t like when you hide stuff from me.
your heart drops, and you feel guilty again. you want to explain yourself, but you’re afraid it’ll make everything worse.
“he’s really pissed now,” you say quietly to sungho, who nods sympathetically.
“you should’ve just told him earlier,” he says, though his tone is more playful than critical. “now you gotta go back and fix it.”
you take a deep breath, realizing sungho’s right. you’re going to have to deal with the fallout when you get back to the dorm.
you decide on sungho’s dorm since taesan is rooming with woonhak and jaehyun so it would be perfect to wrap his gift all together and put final touched on it.
but once you open the door, you stand frozen at the door of sungho’s dorm, heart hammering in your chest. the moment taesan walks in, everything about the room shifts. his presence fills the space, and even though he’s not saying anything yet, you feel the weight of his gaze.
“so, this is where you’ve been?” taesan’s voice cuts through the silence. it’s sharper than usual, colder too. he looks at you, then at sungho, his eyes narrowing. “i thought you said you were by yourself.”
you feel your breath catch in your throat. his words hit harder than expected, but you force a smile, trying to keep your cool. “i was… i mean, i am.”
taesan tilts his head, his eyes scanning you like he’s trying to figure out if you’re lying. you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “i just bumped into sungho, we were talking, and i guess riwoo saw us leave together.” you’re already regretting how this sounds, but you can’t back down now. you have to keep the lie intact.
“bumped into sungho?” taesan’s voice drips with suspicion. “so it’s just a coincidence you were both out together?”
you nod quickly, hoping he buys it. “yeah, we were just… talking, you know? nothing serious. i just didn’t want to bother you while you were busy.”
taesan crosses his arms, studying you with a sharp gaze. “that doesn’t sound right.”
the air between you two feels like it’s crackling with tension. you swallow hard, knowing you can’t let him get too suspicious. “it’s really nothing, taesan. you know i wouldn’t lie to you about this.”
“you wouldn’t, huh?” taesan says slowly, his tone soft but with a dangerous edge. “then why didn’t you just tell me? why go through all this just to cover up some… coincidence?”
you flinch slightly at his words, the guilt gnawing at you. but you won’t break. you can’t spoil the surprise now. not when everything is so close to being perfect.
“i didn’t want to bother you with the details,” you say, hoping he buys it. “i just figured i’d spend some time with sungho, that’s all.” you glance at sungho for a moment, but he’s standing still, like he’s unsure whether to step in.
taesan watches you for a long beat, and you can see the wheels turning in his mind. his expression hardens. “so you thought it’d be better to lie to me, to sneak around?”
your chest tightens, the weight of his words sinking in deeper than you expected. “taesan, it’s not like that.”
“really?” taesan’s voice rises, a hint of frustration creeping in. “because that’s exactly what it sounds like. i don’t know, it’s just hard to believe that you’re not hiding something. are you trying to cover something up?”
you feel your heart race. this is spiraling out of control, and you don’t know how to stop it. the last thing you want is for him to think you’re doing something behind his back.
“taesan, please,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. “you’re overthinking this. i didn’t want to tell you because i didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.” you force yourself to look him in the eye, trying to convey sincerity. “it’s nothing, really.”
taesan doesn’t respond right away. he’s still standing there, arms crossed, eyes cold as he studies you. you feel like he’s dissecting every word you’ve said, trying to figure out if you’re being honest or not.
“so what, this is all just some coincidence?” taesan asks again, voice dripping with doubt. “you just happened to be with sungho, and riwoo just happened to see you leaving together?”
you nod quickly, trying to sound convincing. “yeah, that’s it. it’s just a coincidence, taesan.”
taesan lets out a long breath, his frustration simmering just under the surface. he doesn’t seem convinced, but he doesn’t push further. yet.
“you’re making this harder than it needs to be,” you say, trying to change the subject. “it’s nothing. seriously.”
taesan stays quiet, his eyes narrowing, still unconvinced. “i don’t know if i believe you, but fine. if you say so.”
there’s a moment of silence between you two, and you can almost feel the distance growing between you. you want to tell him the truth, but you can’t risk it. not yet.
“you didn’t need to lie to me, you know,” taesan says softly, his gaze softer but still guarded. “you could’ve just told me where you were. there wouldn’t have been any problem.”
“i know,” you say, your heart sinking. “but i didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”
the moment you say it, you regret it. taesan’s eyes flash with confusion, but he doesn’t say anything. he just watches you, waiting.
“what surprise?” taesan asks, the suspicion back in his voice.
you hesitate, panic rising. you can’t tell him, not yet. not when you’re this close.
“it’s nothing,” you say quickly, forcing a smile. “i just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
taesan’s gaze sharpens again. “you’re lying. i can tell.”
you want to scream, to tell him the truth, but you stay silent, your heart heavy with the pressure of it all.
“you’ve been hiding something from me, haven’t you?” taesan asks, his voice quiet now, as if he’s piecing everything together.
you look away, unable to meet his eyes. you can’t keep lying, but you can’t give in either. not yet.
“taesan, please,” you whisper. “just trust me. i don’t want to hurt you.”
he sighs, his expression softening just a little. “i trust you, but it’s hard when you keep lying to me. i just don’t get why you couldn’t tell me what was going on.”
you open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. your throat feels tight, and your mind is racing, trying to figure out how to get yourself out of this mess.
“i’m sorry,” you finally say, your voice barely audible. “i didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
taesan looks at you for a long moment, his face softening a bit. “it’s fine,” he says quietly. “but next time, just tell me. no more lies.”
you nod, relieved but still filled with guilt.
there’s a long silence, and then you finally reach into your bag and pull out the vinyl and the trinkets you picked out for him. you hold them out to him, your hands shaking.
“here,” you say softly, voice full of apology. “i got these for you. i… i thought you’d like them.”
taesan takes the items slowly, his expression unreadable. after a few moments, he looks up at you. “you didn’t have to do this,” he says, his voice softening. “but… thanks.”
you smile weakly, still feeling the weight of everything. “i’m sorry for making you mad.”
taesan sighs, stepping closer to you. “it’s okay. just promise me no more lies, alright?”
“promise,” you say quietly.
and for the first time in what feels like forever, the tension begins to melt away. taesan pulls you into a hug, and you let yourself relax, knowing that you’ll have to make things right.
but for now, you’re just grateful that he’s still here.
taesan is silent for a long time, just staring at the vinyls in his hands. his fingers trace over the covers, his expression unreadable.
you shift nervously, waiting for some kind of reaction. was this too much? was this not what he would’ve liked? sungho had assured you it was a good choice, but now, standing here with taesan’s gaze locked onto the gift, doubt creeps in.
“you really did all this for me?” taesan finally asks, voice quieter now.
you nod quickly. “of course i did. you just had a comeback, and i wanted to get you something that actually fit your taste. something you’d really like.”
he exhales slowly, his grip tightening around the vinyls for a second before he looks up at you. his expression has softened completely, the cold edge gone. instead, there’s something else… something warmer.
“you’re an idiot,” he mutters, but there’s no bite to his words. in fact, his lips twitch slightly, like he’s trying not to smile. “you could’ve just told me.”
“and ruin the surprise?” you huff, crossing your arms. “not a chance.”
taesan sighs, shaking his head. “you made me worry for nothing.”
“i didn’t mean to,” you mumble, guilt creeping back in.
he looks at you for another long second before stepping forward, wrapping his arms around you. his hold is firm, secure, like he’s grounding himself in your presence.
you blink, surprised at the sudden affection, but quickly melt into the embrace. his scent is familiar, and the warmth of his body makes all the stress from earlier fade.
“don’t do that again,” he mutters into your hair. “just tell me next time.”
you nod against his chest. “okay. i promise.”
he pulls back slightly, just enough to look at you, his dark eyes still holding a bit of lingering frustration. but it’s different now. less about suspicion, more about the fact that you worried him.
his eyes flicker to sungho, and his warmth disappears just slightly as he levels a glare at him. “and you,” he says, narrowing his eyes.
sungho raises his hands defensively. “hey, don’t look at me like that. i was just helping.”
“helping,” taesan repeats, clearly not convinced. “spending hours alone with y/n, keeping secrets, sneaking around.”
sungho rolls his eyes. “yeah, yeah, i get it. i’d be mad too. but it’s not like that.”
“doesn’t matter,” taesan grumbles, still glaring. “you still got too comfortable.”
you groan, tugging at his sleeve. “taesan, please. it’s not like we were on a date or something.”
taesan clicks his tongue but lets it go, instead looking back at the items in his hands. now that he’s actually processing it, his expression shifts, like he’s finally realizing what you got him, without the worry of why you were lying.
“wait,” he mutters, flipping it over. “this album… where did you find this?”
you grin. “special store sungho knew about. he helped me find the best ones.”
taesan pauses for a moment, then looks at you again, softer this time. “you really went through all this trouble just to get me something i’d like?”
you scoff. “of course i did. i love you, you idiot.”
his ears turn red. it’s subtle, but you notice it. he looks away, clearing his throat. “you’re the idiot,” he mumbles, gripping the vinyls like it’s the most precious thing in the world. “but… thanks.”
he pulls you into another hug, holding you tight, like he doesn’t want to let go.
and just like that, everything feels right again.
#kaiyunsim#kpop x reader#kpop x gn reader#kpop x gender neutral reader#boynextdoor#boynextdoor x reader#bnd#bnd x reader#boynextdoor fluff#boynextdoor angst#bnd fluff#bnd angst#taesan#han taesan#han dongmin#taesan x reader#han taesan x reader#taesan x gn reader#han taesan x gn reader#han dongmin x reader#taesan fluff#taesan angst#han dongmin fluff#han dongmin angst
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Stiles woke up to Derek lazily sucking kisses to the back of his neck. He hummed and scooted backwards, closer to Derek.
"Good morning, Der, happy birthday," he murmured, reaching a hand back to pat Derek’s side.
"Thank you, love," Derek whispered, tucking his face into Stiles' neck and nuzzling his nose.
Stiles started pulling away, giggling at Derek’s annoyed grumbles, and said, "I wanna give you your present, babe."
"Later," Derek frowned, pulling on Stiles' hand when he got to his feet beside the bed.
"No, now. Wanna be just us when I give it to you," Stiles whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to Derek's lips.
Derek quirked an eyebrow at Stiles who immediately blushed and flailed, slapping the back of his hand against Derek’s chest. "Not like that, pervert."
Derek chuckled and flopped on his belly and Stiles took that as his queue to go get the present. He ran to the attic of the rebuilt Hale house and pulled out the huge box he had hidden there.
Huffing, he carried it downstairs. He was so nervous that his heartbeat had to be deafeing to Derek. He dropped the box beside Derek woth a groan, tentatively taking a seat next to it as Derek sat himself up.
"May I?" Derek asked, gesturing at the box. Stiles nodded, chewing his lips anxiously, and watched as Derek carefully pulled the top off.
The first thing he pulled out was a ragged looking knitted blanket. With a strangled gasp, Derek brought it to his face and buried his nose in the fabric, greedily inhaling the scent.
"What - how?" Derek whimpered, red eyes peeking from behind the blanket.
"I had a witch cast a spell on it so that the smell would never fade," Stiles replied.
Derek nodded and composed himself a little, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders before digging back into the box.
Next, he took out a vintage looking watch, the edges of the leather strap looking a bit burnt. He immediately put it on his wrist, offering his hand to Stiles to secure it wordlessly.
He then removed a small wooden rattle, hand carved designs running down the hand. At this point, his eyes had filled up with tears.
He took a few calming breaths before pulling out a leather bound book. He looked questioningly at Stiles who whispered, "Open it."
Derek slowly opened the book as if afraid to find its contents. As soon as his eyes fell on the first page, the tears fell free, rapidly dripping down his face. He hastily turned from page to page, hand reverently grazing over all of them. Finally, anguished, heaving sobs burst out of Derek’s chest as he took in the pictures. A young Talia, holding baby Derek in her arms. Laura pushing toddler Derek on the swing. His grandma and grandpa in the middle of a slow dance. His parents kissing on their wedding day. All of the Hales with their extended families together on Christmas, dressed in matching pyjamas on the insistence of Derek’s father.
Stiles couldn't keep in his own tears at the sight of Derek and he silently cried. Derek carefully put the book aside after a while and pulled Stiles into his lap, hiding his face in Stiles' neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," Derek murmured against his skin, pressing kisses every so often.
"There are more things in the attic. I took whatever the police had taken that night and took it to a witch to be restored. She even magicked some things from scent memory, things that couldnt be saved. There are copies for Peter and Cora too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but-"
"Stiles, you have given me a piece of my family back. You don't have to apologize, for anything," Derek whispered fiercely, still scenting his neck. He pulled back from the hug and unwrapped the blanket from around his shoulders to put around Stiles'. "I love you, baby. You can't imagine how happy I am."
With a teary smile, Stiles flung himself into Derek's arms again. "I love you too, Derek, so much."
#sterek#derek hale#stiles stilinski#teen wolf#derek and stiles#derek x stiles#sterek fanfic#sterek imagine#drabble#ficlet#fluff
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✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 25/03✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
@miauintao ha chiesto: Is there a reason Macaque and Wukong seems to keep neglecting to teach Mk about "demon etiquette"? (using Redson phrasing) Especially since he's a prince now and everything, are we going to see them teaching him about all of this stuff he should know now about demons? Sorry if my English is bad
They did tell him the basics with the whole "talk" when he discovered his crush. Red Son was talking about etiquette as a celestial royal, which is something PIF taught him since he was a child.
@roseltelle ha chiesto: Do you think pigsy leaves mk the restaurant? If he does I imagine he would still want to keep it open. Probably hiring new people. I say because if he chooses to still do deliveries occasionally if a customer asks for the owner he finally gets to say I am the owner.
Uhhhh who knows? Shadowpeach are the only one who learned the recipe. I would guess maybe Chang'e would maybe keep Pigsy's recipe as secret
@filiothings ha chiesto: What’s Bai He doing with Macaque and the stars thing?
just practicing with small metal pieces to create simple shapes.
@plushroseart ha chiesto: Hey I love your Au and art I was wondering if i could write about your au with my own twist to it would that be okay as long as I give credit? Just asking :)
With credit and tagging yes
@autism-autobot ha chiesto: If Red Son didn't know MK was trans, he's gonna find out soon, isn't he?👀
I bet he told him already haha.
@roseltelle ha chiesto: I think I'm is so funny that Macaque and wukong are opposites socially from what you would expect you would expect the sun guy to be the extrovert and the moon guy to be the introvert. But no Wukong just wants to hang out with the people he already knows and no one else. While macaque is out here acting, running a dojo, ext.
hehe trueee
@bonbonfoxyton ha chiesto: Do you think that DBK knows what happened between Wukong and macaque's courtnaping to tell red son that Mk probably has the same weakness as Wukong to use against Mk to courtnap him? I feel like DBK would be that petty to win against Wukong for who courtnaps who between their sons
No, only Macaque know Wukong secret weakness
@deadhope34 ha chiesto: Can Mei, Tang, Pigsy and Sandy not just eat a immortality peach? Li Xing said he and the heaven would give help to MK with his now title prince of heaven. And keeping him happy with keeping his family together would be in heavens best interest one eould asume.
of course they can, but that doesn't mean they want to.
@steadylandface ha chiesto: What if Guanyin raised Mk?
My friend told me she would try to disguise him as a pet to the other celestial lol. He would be a little menage who would bite every ankle in heaven and Guanyin just smiles and goes "aww look at him!!"
@angelikis1 ha chiesto: HI! 👋 i just wanted to ask if you have any tip for beginner comic makers (don't know if i said that right 😅) @ellster7 ha chiesto: Hi, I'm a big fan of the shadowpeach Bio parent AU and was wondering if you had any tips or advice on how to start a project like it,as I'm struggling to start one.
have time
have a schedule
know the ending
just do a little bit more than the bare minimun to not burn out/ find ways to make the process faster
@magician-kitty ha chiesto: Hi! Once again, I love your art. And Ive been meaning to say this… I was a bit surprised when I saw that you included Chang’e during Mk’s trial. I always thought she couldn’t leave the moon.
Just for the sake of giving my wife more screen time let's make it they allowed her to be present
@shentheauthor ha chiesto: I think it’s interesting that macaque’s fancy hanfu is folded right over left. That’s only ever done on corpses. Is my guy being emo? Because that’s hilarious
because my dude died and came back to life
@aguadechia14 ha chiesto: Ok before all this I just have one question, what was mk’s reaction to the shadowpeach relationship? Jsjsjsjs
I think the way he discovered was, finally, THIS scenario
@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Who's the announcer in the last chapter?
Technically should be one of the celestials. In my mind he's Chi Fu from Mulan
@healingwordswriter ha chiesto: Hiiii so first congratulations on almost finishing your comic. I feel I can say for many people that this comic has meant a lot to many of us in the fandom and it has been really a journey that I’m happy we did alongside you 💜 Now onto my questions, now that Xiaotian is the Prince of Heaven, that means someday he will become the Emperor? And if he did become the emperor how he would rule over heaven? His loved ones like his parents (the 4 of them) and Red Son now have a title for being a direct link to the prince? Thanks for everything, for your story your creativity everything. I can’t wait to see what else you will bring us in the future ✨
I'm 98% sure that he could even be able to hold the Emperor's power, but he ain't the guy to become an emperor. Being a prince is already a little too much for him.
@alastair-1205 ha chiesto: Posting the final chapter on the Ides of March is perfect because seeing this series end will be as devastating as getting stabbed to death by my supposed political allies :"D /pos
Prepare the knifes everyone the coronation was a group-stabbing event to kill Li Jing
@awwwskib ha chiesto: I am so happy yet so sad this fic is coming to an end :( do you have any plans on what your gonna do next? Are you gonna make another fic, more LMK stuff, or something else? ALSO I LOVE THE GAY MONKEY SUPREMACY @rmzbai ha chiesto: Hey, kyri45, this might be a stupid question, but when u finish the ShadowPeach Bio Parents AU. Will you fully discontinue it, or now and then will u post like just random bits like what they would do now in normal life now and then? (Just asking bc I want to know😅) @sh00tingstarnightss ha chiesto: I have a question (you don't have to answer it if you don't want to, ofc.) When you finish ShadowPeach parents au, do you plan to make other comics? Or even upload other things, whether fanarts or something like that? Whether it's lmk or other fandoms you're in. Btww, I love your work so much!1!1! <3 ♡♡♡
I have like- 4 years worth of fanart to post here on Tumblr. I will most likely finish the ISAT comic. As for LMK we will see. I will also see wheter S6 is confirmed or not and when it comes out.
@roseltelle ha chiesto: Does redson prefer being called mks boyfriend or more gender neutral terms like partner
partner or boyfriend or girlfriend depending on the day
@presumably-human-stillchecking ha chiesto: Hi there kyri! First off wanna say absolutely adore your art as well as your stories, they are truely a work of art and I greatly admire your skill in story telling. But I also had a quick question did you happen to have a concept design of the over robe or coat mk is wearing to his corelation? Or maybe just a rough outline of the back? Oke if not I was just wondering. Can't wait for the finally!! Keep up the amazing work!
hellou. Nope it's just the same as the front, a gradient from orange to red to dark purple.
@roseltelle ha chiesto:
Does mk stick his tongue out, say gross, or whatever when Wukong and Macaque kiss. As an inside joke of course he loves them.
he covers his face and avoid to see the ungodly amount of tooth-rotting fluff his parents need to show off 24/7
@zoesilva-art ha chiesto: Hi i just wanted to tell you that i love your art so much ! i've been following your work for a while, and you're actually the one who made me curious about LMK so now thanks to you i've develloped an hyperfixation over it haha ! I know the shadowpeach bio parent AU is almost over so i just wanted to thank you, i love the story, the artstyle, the designs...everything ! :)
@proud-memer ha chiesto: Ahhh! I can't believe the shadowpeach bio parents au is ending. I've loved seeing all the updates and it's been such a blast to see the story develop. Thank you so much for granting us this! Side note: That end credits video reminded me of just how much I love your designs for Wukong and Macaque when they are trying to pass as humans.
@alizardonfire ha chiesto: I personally want to thank you for giving us this amazing story and that you inspired others to do the same....if i may share my story about finding LMK. Was through my friends. I watched it here and there and I'm glad that I found your little AU. Thank you for making my life a brighter light in the future. See you at the end of the road mate. I cant wait to see what you do next! @astro-nomaly ha chiesto: Kyri I desperately need you to understand what an absolute gift your bio parents au is. It’s just. So so so good everything I’ve ever wanted from anything lmk 🫶 @rin-rin-comics ha chiesto: Thank you so much for the amazing AU! It would always update during lunch at school for me and I was always excited when I realized it was an update day Your comic really helped get me through some rough patches this and last year, so thank you so much for everything @0casey96 ha chiesto: You just killed me with that masterpiece of an ending it was amazing and the last part with the dubbing I was already crying but then you slapped me across the fase with that my heart can't take this I love your comic so much and the art is absolutely amazing I shall never recover frome this heart brake 🥲😭❤ as well as how the comic starts with them under the tree talking and ended with its to much. @scrumptiouscrownmoon ha chiesto: I just finished your shadowpeach bio parents au. I’ve tried to read MANY comics before but I’ve never been able to stick with them. Idk if it’s because I lost interest in them, forgot abt them, or just life, but this was the first comic series I’ve ever actually finished. And I LOVED it!!!!! Thank you for making the first comic I actually read to the very end, it did not disappoint: I waited excitedly for each new part every week, checking your tumblr at least 5 times a week lol. Definitely one of the best fan inspired things I’ve ever seen, 10000000/10 @ninjahaku21art ha chiesto: I just want to come by and say thank you for making this incredible AU! I almost cried tears of joy for the ending, just so wholesome and awesome! 🥹✨ I cannot wait to see what you create moving forward! @o-rainknight-o ha chiesto: I just need to say thank you for making such an amazing story! I know that you had no idea it would blow up as much as it did, and the number of people who came here for it must have been kind of overwhelming, but you stuck with it to the end and it's been one of the best times in recent years for me. I love your art style and how you color. It's always so beautiful. This might be the end of the comic but I don't plan on going anywhere. I don't know what you have planned for the future, if anything, but I plan on being around for it, on my LMK account or otherwise. Thank you Kyri for making such an amazing story about all these dorks ~
ACASKCAJASC THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

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Okay, so I’m weirdly into the idea of being someone’s estranged wife???
Imagine being Patrick’s estranged wife?? Like maybe he married you bc he couldn’t have Tashi and then just…never signed the divorce papers? And now he’s knocking on your door bc there’s a challenger he’s gonna play in buttttt his bank account’s a little low so could he pretty please crash with you? He’ll sleep on his couch and be on his best behavior, he swears
Queue him crawling into bed with you at 2 am bc it’s cold in the living room and you’re soft and pretty and whoops, he’s hard
Ooo love this
Warnings: Fingering, Patrick Being Patrick, bitter and estranged ex-wife Reader
"You have any chicken nuggets?"
"What are you, five?"
"Adults can enjoy chicken nuggets."
They certainly could, but you didn't grace that reply with a response, just watched with tepid interest as he rifled through the contents of your fridge.
A single phrase kept resounding in your mind:
I should've left him on the doorstep.
And maybe you should have. It wouldn't be the first time that you'd given Patrick the cold shoulder, and it wouldn't be the first time that he just parked in your driveway and slept in his car. But you just couldn't stand the sight of him out in the cold, pouting and gnawing on his lower lip in the fish-eye lens of your peephole.
"Why don't we order a pizza?" He tacked on.
We. It was always 'we' with him, but never in the action, or the cost—that was a 'you' action, not a 'we' more often than not.
"Who's paying for it?" You asked. Patrick turned to you with a dopey, guilty little smile affixed to his lips as he cocked his hip.
"Well until I sign the papers, the two shall be as one, right?"
"Yeah—Why haven't you signed, by the way?"
"Your guy's never been able to serve 'em." He turned back to the fridge, ducking his head as he looked around. "You got any beer?"
You rolled your eyes. "Third shelf, at the back."
"Bingo. Want one?"
"Not right now. But thanks for offering me something that I bought and paid for. Really appreciate it."
Patrick huffed a soft laugh as he turned toward you again, opening the beer against the edge of the counter.
"Mine mine mine," He teased. "What is it with you and what's yours, huh?"
"Just stating facts, Zweig."
"So self-righteous, Mrs. Zweig." He used your married name with a vinegary smile before taking a deep swig from his bottle, pointedly ignoring the way that you bristled. "So. Pizza?"
--
Just the couch.
Patrick had pleaded it between bites of pizza, scrubbing the back of his hand across his mouth to clear the crumbs and oil left behind. He'd framed it as a reasonable enough request, like it was the easiest thing in the world to let your estranged husband back into your home.
You won't even know I'm there.
As if you hadn't been fighting to find a harmony within yourself for the last year, trying to serve him papers for the last six months, to get your divorce to take, to rid yourself of his last name.
Watching him sort through the garbage bags of clothing that you'd packed up for him to come and take between tours had been a little pitiful, but he'd unearthed what he'd needed to sleep in.
"Still have a toothbrush for me?" He asked.
"No."
"Face wash?"
"Don't you just use soap?"
"Yeah, but you put me on that, uh—That regimen, that routine."
"You never followed it."
"So you threw the stuff out?"
"I wasn't using it, so. Yeah."
"Huh." Patrick straightened, PJs in hand. You couldn't help but watch him strip off as he passed you, eyeing the ripple of his back muscles as he tossed his shirt in the direction of his bag.
"I'm showering," He called over his shoulder, "If you'd like to join me."
"I'd rather chew glass, but thanks."
--
He was sleeping. He had to be, right? It didn't matter if he was or wasn't. It didn't matter that Patrick Zweig was asleep on your couch, just a floor away. It didn't matter that you were worked up, at the midpoint between pissed off and turned on.
How did he always manage to do that to you?
You should've been able to clock early on that it was trouble. None of your friends or family thought it would work out, and you'd been chagrined when they'd been right. For as much as you had once loved him, for as certain as you and Patrick had been sure you would fit, that you would fix whatever needed fixing, no matter what fate had in store for you, you just...Couldn't.
It didn't help that he had been chasing glory on the court, or that you had spent your relationship trying to fill the shoes of a woman that you could never be. It didn't help that the two of you were just fundamentally different, in ways that you either of you were unwilling to compromise. When he'd left, it hadn't been a surprise, but it had been so goddamn hard to serve him papers. But you'd had such trouble trying to pin him down during your relationship, why should the way you broke be any different?
But when you'd been in bed together—Hell, you'd been even more certain that it could work. You and Patrick just fit. Things had been so right with so little conversation or hesitation. Your needs had fueled one another's, and you'd been able to lose yourself in him. It should have been enough.
But it wasn't then, and it wasn't now.
He was asleep. He had a match the next morning, and he needed his rest. You could do the same—You should do the same. You needed to be staring at the ceiling right now like you need a goddamn hole in the head. You drew in a deep breath, closing your eyes and doing your best to focus on your breathing. In for five... Hold...Out...For...Five...In for...One...Two...Three...Four...
Your eyes opened, your breath catching as you heard the door open. You held completely still as you heard the door close again, chased by the soft pad of feet along your floor before the mattress dipped beside you. The covers shifted, lifting and falling as he laid down.
"Are you asleep?" He murmured. It was another moment before his palm skimmed across your belly, his rough cheek nuzzling against the curve of your shoulder. Your breath left you in a soft sigh, your muscles untensing bit by bit.
"I know you haven't been here in a while," You muttered, "But this is not the couch."
He huffed a soft laugh. "I know," He snuggled closer, and it was just a moment before you felt the press of his cock against your hip. You drew in a shaky breath, hands lowering to his arm.
"Patrick," You mumbled. "You should be asleep."
"I can't sleep." His teeth scraped along your jaw as his fingers snaked under the hem of your nightshirt.
"Indigestion?" You squeaked. "Shouldn't've had that third slice of pizza. I told you not to."
Your eyes squeezed shut as he rolled his hips against you.
"This feel like pizza to you?"
"Well—"
"Baby," He pleaded. "You gonna tell me you didn't miss me?"
It took you a moment, and you couldn't help your slight squirming.
"Not even a little."
He laughed again, and you knew that you hadn't been able to sneak a thing by him.
"You don't have to lie. I saw you watching me." He tipped his chin up, sucking a tender kiss to your neck. And you had, but—
"I wasn't."
Patrick tutted disapprovingly. You shuddered, arching up into his touch as his thumb skimmed across your hardening nipple.
"You're a shitty liar, you know that?"
"You're an asshole," You hissed as Patrick lifted his head.
"You like it."
You couldn't get a word out to argue as Patrick's tongue swept between your lips. You whimpered in spite of yourself, sinking back against your pillows and raising your hand to fist in his hair. He was over you in a moment, body shoving your thighs wide as his hands rucked up the bottom of your sleep shirt. You drew in a sharp breath as his head dipped to catch one of your nipples between his lips. You tightened your grip on his, shivering as he teased it with his tongue.
Patrick's hips ground against yours, rolling against where you're growing slick in your sleep shorts.
"How long's it been?" He murmured, "Huh? Since me?"
And it was too embarrassing to say—too embarrassing to admit that you hadn't slept with anyone since Patrick left.
"Shut up," You hissed, "Just—Please, shut up."
His hand snuck beneath the hem of your shorts, swiping gently across your tender clit, and he grinned as your hips hitched up into his deft touch.
"S'okay," He cooed as he eased a couple of fingers into your tight, aching cunt. "I missed you, too."
--
"You gonna come watch me play?"
As with the rest of the last day or so, your answer should be no. You didn't turn to look at Patrick as you rummaged through your dresser for something to wear.
"I've seen you play, Patrick."
"Not lately." He tried again: "It's a challenger."
You hummed, giving a noncommittal shrug as you pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a shirt.
"...Well can I stay here tonight?"
"If you win, sure."
"How will you know I win if you don't come see me?"
You rolled your eyes, hip-checking your drawer shut before pulling up your pants and tugging in your top.
"Fine. Just tonight. You'll have to find somewhere tomorrow night."
"I'll have the prize money by then, I'll crash at a motel."
"Oh, a motel. Hey big spender," You drawled, heading for your door.
"Hey."
"What?"
"You have the papers here?"
It stopped you dead in your tracks, your stomach churning with unease as you looked at him again.
"...What?"
"The divorce papers," He clarified. "I can sign 'em while I'm here."
It would be so easy. It would be so easy to go down to your office and draw the file out of your desk drawer, to plop it down in front of Patrick with your favorite black ballpoint pen, to flip between arrow tabs and instruct, "Sign here, here, here, here, here, and here."
But you found yourself shaking your head.
"I don't have a copy," You fibbed. It took Patrick a moment before he nodded a little.
"Can you get them?"
Hell, were you that out of practice? One night back in bed with you and he was ready to call it? But you were certain that wasn't it—That Patrick was, for once in his goddamn life, trying to make it easy on you after so much hell.
"...Maybe, I don't know," You shrugged. "It's the weekend."
"Okay."
"Coffee?"
"Yeah—Hey."
"What?"
You watched as Patrick pulled the covers away, unashamed of his nakedness as he strode toward you. He grasped your chin, tipping your head for a soft kiss. It took everything in you not to melt into him as he skimmed his hand over your hip, drawing back just enough to give you a sleepy, hazy smile.
"Good morning."
You couldn't help your own, indignant smile.
"Sure, Patrick." You turned away, determined to push on with your day, your life like he wasn't there—like he wouldn't be hanging over you as you made breakfast, or dominating the court as he played, or in your bed again in just a few hours. "Good morning."
#Patrick Zweig x Reader#Patrick Zweig x You#Patrick Zweig/Reader#Patrick Zweig/You#Patrick Zweig fic#Patrick Zweig imagine
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I love your work, would I be able to request fem reader and male incubus. Maybe the demon transforms into their true form mid fuck, to the readers suprise. First time squirting.
Kabr0z Writes Episode 78: One night stand
Find the rest of the Kabr0z Writes anthology here!
CWs: transformation; fellatio; anal; female ejaculation; dubcon;
A/N: I'm starting a little later than usual and am hoping to be done by 1 ish, so enjoy a slight queue-jump. Tomorrow's episode is a part to to episode 50, which I'm rather looking forward to
######################################
You met him at the library. You both went for the same book on the shelf. It's strange, he was so charming and funny, but you couldn't remember a thing he said to you. Not that you minded as he bought you dinner, and took you to the bar afterwards. Of course, one thing led to another and here you are. Stumbling through your bedroom door, several drinks deep.
You realised you never asked his name, not that this was really the time. You swung him onto the bed, laying him so his hips perched on the edge. You pulled off his pants, revealing the uncut shaft and smooth balls, trimmed hair framing his clean-shaven manhood. One hand on his balls, your tongue pulled his cock into your mouth. You could smell his cologne, sandalwood and old books, he must've put some on down here in case he got lucky. Your head bobbed on his cock, one hand gently holding the base, gently squeezing and rubbing in time. You were conscious of him leaning back as his cock leaked in your mouth. You sucked out his precum as his moans got louder. You love it when your men get vocal. You redoubled your efforts, taking the hand off his balls and slipping it up your skirt, pulling your underwear aside as you slipped a finger between your wet lips. You rubbed yourself as you took his cock deeper into your mouth. His hand ran through your hair, fingers closing, gripping a handful as he sighed deeply and push you head down onto him.
You stifled a gag as cum hit the back of your throat. You let it pool a moment at the back of your mouth before swallowing it, rubbing yourself more insistently, feeling yourself building to a release.
Your eyes opened a crack, you could see his skin changing. Where before it was a fair olive shade, now it deepened to an aubergine purple. His neatly trimmed and maintained body hair receding into the dark flesh. You felt his nails lengthen and sharpen, pointed ends pressing against your scalp. The cock in your mouth changed too, becoming thicker, pressing deeper into your throat as he held you down. You tried to scream as you watched the demon underneath you assume his true form. Something stopped you. Instead you moaned, muffled from the cock plugging up your face.
He pulled himself loose. Despite having just unloaded onto your tonsils, he was still hard and throbbing. He smiled at you "Want some more?"
You nodded as he stood, pulling you up and leading you to the wall. He pressed you against it, bending you over slightly and pushing his thick, blunt cock to your asshole. You pulled his hand to your cunt as he pushed in, the dripping cum lubricating his entry as he started to rub your clit. Your body felt like it was vibrating. His cock thrusting into your asshole as he massaged your cunt. The claws pressed against your delicate flesh just enough to send shivers up you without breaking the skin.
You pushed back hard against him, cunt clenching as you crested your second peak. His cock twitched and jerked with your clenching, the base swelling up into a knot that sealed him into you, stretching your ass out and pressing on the walls of your cunt. His fingers slid inside, the nails receding from the two he pushed in. You squeezed on them as they pressed upwards into your inflated g-spot, squeezing it rhythmically, rubbing the tender flesh against your pubic bone. You felt like you needed to pee. Your legs shook. The demon grasped one of your tits, squeezing it as he hissed in your ear
"Let it out"
You obeyed. Your mind exploded. Sweet-scented fluid sprayed from you, soaking the front of your skirt. Your legs were shaking so hard you'd collapse it it weren't for the cock emptying itself into you. Every inch of you felt electric, the fingers in your pussy, the hand on your tit, the teeth on your neck.
You slumped against the wall, letting the demon carry you to the bed. He lay you on your side as he settled in behind you, still tied to your ass by his cock. He put his face to your ear
"Goodnight, sweetheart, I'm sure we'll have lots to talk about tomorrow"
########################################
I jinxed this by saying I wanted to be done by 1am didn't I?
Bugger me sideways.
#kabr0z writes#original content#textposts#fem!reader#monster fucker#monster smut#monster fuqqer#monster x fem!reader#send asks#demon x reader#demon x human#demon#demon oc#demon fucker#demon x fem!reader#demon x you#monster x human#monster x you#monster x reader#monster x female#cw oral sex#send requests#send anything#writing commissions#free commissions#plotless smut#plot what plot#smut#shameless smut#send me asks
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New Year with You
Yandere Rollo
Masterlist | TWST Masterlist | Letters
continuation from my other Rollo fic Letters, but can be read as a standalone as well!
good time to mention that I have been and am on a current semi-hiatus as I've kind fallen off all my fandoms at the same time, but i'm slowly working my way back! thank you for your support so far!
Two hours and forty five minutes down, fifteen minutes left.
“Still can’t believe you actually came all the way,” you said over the cup of hot chocolate copper between both hands as you glanced around the Isle of Sages' crowded main town square, the stone paved area jam packed with people inching past each other. This was certainly no place that one would usually find the Nobel Bell’s Student Council President. “I can’t even spend all night here. You shouldn’t have.”
But Rollo could hear the genuine appreciation in your voice for all his efforts, if you were even trying to hide it. “It’s no bother,” the white-haired boy responded, his usual purple robe and striped cap having been forgone for an elegant black long coat and pressed trousers, one pale hands tucked into a pocket and the other holding a matching cup as narrowed green eyes tailed a laughing couple who brushed past you. Tainting your perfect otherworldly self with their disgusting stench of a magical world they could never run from, a sin he would have incinerated them for, but he took a deep breath and tore his eyes away. Focus. “Barely an inconvenience.”
A lie.
The sheer amount of arrangements Rollo had to make just to be present here aside from the letters with strict instructions to you was something he would never disclose. The previous trip he made a week ago to scout out the place that he told his vice president was a research trip, the contingency plans he had in place so that your wretched schoolmates wouldn’t interrupt him, the entire flow of activities, locations and conversations he had all planned out in his mind in the weeks leading up to this - but you didn’t need to know any of that.
No, everything had been carefully planned with one goal in mind: to make sure you had the perfect countdown with him. Nothing that Malleus and his cronies would be able to top.
Lifting his cup to thin lips to take a careful sip, the stoic Noble Bell student watched steam curling lazily into the windless air, the hustle and bustle of the masses blending into the background as people jostled for the best spots to catch fireworks. Filthy magic-laden fireworks, but Rollo had already scouted a quiet spot where you would have an unblocked view. He just had to make sure that you stayed till then.
Time had flown by like water - you had been here at 9.30pm sharp, as per requested by his latest letter, but he had managed to burn and wheedle down the hours and minutes to just the last few minutes to midnight. Presenting the bouquet of flowers and your favourite pie that he had brought for you: ten minutes. A leisurely stroll around the fountain, followed by a planned sit and chat: another seventy-five minutes down. The queue for hot chocolate: thirty minutes, the queue carefully joined behind two individuals who hemmed and hawed at the counter.
“Are you at least staying until the countdown?” He asked smoothly as he turned away from the fountain that occupied the center of the square and began to walk. You followed, because of course you did, and Rollo slowed his stride when he noticed you doing those little short runs to keep up.
“Um, I don’t know,” you answered uncertainly as the two of you came upon the small alcove built into the old stone wall, with a scattering of couples lingering along the sidewalk bordering the mariana. “Some of my friends are hosting a countdown party back at Ramshackle-”
Rollo sneered before he could catch himself, though he decided to simply play into it instead of making up excuses; you would certainly see through his act before he’d be able to convince you otherwise, considering what he had attempted to already do to them back in Fleur City. “You wouldn’t be able to make it back in time,” he stated coolly, free hand shooting out to steady you when you stumbled on a protruding stone tile. “Not without…running. Fast.”
You gaped for a moment at him, before bursting into giggles. No doubt not only at his awkward pause, but also the absurdity of a mage suggesting running. He hadn’t rehearsed that, but the way your face lit up as you laughed made the stutter slightly more bearable. “Alright then,” you agreed. “Guess I’ll head back after the countdown instead.”
Well. That was easy enough. Another milestone in his disruption of Malleus’ plans achieved.
The view here of the town square was impeccable, because of course it was. On one side, a gentle breeze blew in from the sea, the horizon where sea and sky met lost in the dark of night, the glittering reflection of stars swallowed by the dancing waves washing up against the sea cliff far below. And on the other, the town floor spread out beneath the two of you like a picnic mat, the numerous people mulling about blending into waves, their conservations and the music from the live band blending into the hustle and bustle of a busy background that only grew and grew into an almost coordinated swell of numbers as midnight approached.
“Three! Two!” Rollo kept silent as he watched you cheer along. “One!”
Your eyes shimmer in that unmistakable way that betrayed your excitement as fireworks whizzed into the sky, bursting into a multitude of colored flowers with a life on their own granted by magic. The Noble Bell Student Council President reaches over to gingerly tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear in a calculated move. “Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year!” You returned, toasting your cup at Rollo and giggling when the cocoa from your cup splashed slightly onto the ground, before returning to admire the blooming fireworks against the starry night sky. “They’re beautiful!”
“Indeed.” The white-haired boy replied without glancing away from you. His plan to rid the world of magic and Malleus was advancing nicely with every play he made, but maybe, he had some space for you, where you had wheedled yourself into the hollow in his chest.
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere twst#twst x reader#twst x you#rollo flamme#yandere rollo flamme#yandere rollo#noble bell college#rollo x yuu#rollo x reader#rollo x you#yandere rollo x yuu#yandere rollo x reader#yandere rollo x you#cheesus drabbles#malleus draconia#malleus x yuu#malleus x reader
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It's 8.51 am. I'm in the queue of other students waiting to be let into the main hall. It's cramped and busy this time around, and the building cacophony of humanity gathered in numbers has slowly turned to a white noise that barely matters. I let out a tired little sigh, and in doing so, I'm reminded by the gentle familiar aroma of something I forgot to get this morning. Coffee, I really should have picked one up this morning. Before I can lose myself in recalling the taste of my forgotten love, Sarah dances her tiny hips wiggling through the crowd, my ever positive, seemingly always happy roommate cuts in line with a small paper cup that brings me warm caramel scented joy. Sarah has that kind of smile that just melts away your worries, I often wonder how come she's always so happy. " I was just in the middle of my morning routine when I realised you might need this." Sarah's voice was soft and calm as she handed over the paper cup of sweet coffee. " Thank you , I would say you have no idea how much I need this, but then here you are, so I guess you did somehow" and now I'm smiling back at her almost shy and that's nuts because Sarah and I have known each other for months. Yet somehow I'm still embarrassed and shy around her at times.
The doors of the hall open up, and the clamour and chatter stops briefly, only to become a moving herd of humanity slowly wandering into the dark main hall. The hall has been altered and decorated for today's guest speaker. Today's guest is a former Field Marshal of the British army, and now Dr. Michael Aster 52 and Retired, he recently gained media attention for his views on how easily people are controlled by media. And that one short clip of him knife throwing with an accuracy that terrifies me personally.
Taking our seats next to each other, Sarah and I share one more smile as the presentation starts at 9.00am to the second. Immaculate time keeping aside, our speaker today obviously intended to set the tone.
" If you are not already seated, leave immediately because you are late." Dr. Aster's voice commanded with authority as it filled and echoed the hall , even without a microphone, he knew how to get peoples attention.
" IMMEDIATELY ," Dr. Aster said again, this time his tone seemed to tear out the unworthy as if treating a wound in a battlefield. Ripping them out like an unwanted piece of shrapnel.
Sarah seemed really excited about this presentation for some reason. She was wiggling excitedly like a child who knows they are about to get ice cream.
Once the late sitters vacated the hall, Dr. Aster began. " That was easy . Did you see how many of them just left ?" The hall was entirely silent. No one dared say a word. He had us captivated with a weight of authority and a fear that comes with a high state of focus.
And still, Sarah sits there smiling. She must know more about what's going to happen next. I stop worrying because she's so joyful. As odd as it seems, Sarah just knows how to calm me without words.
Dr. Aster continued
" These people who just left were easily manipulated with fear. They all believed they had committed an act of poor conduct by being late"
" But we're they late ? , no, they were on time."
" I told them they were late and they left because I told them to do so"
" None of them questioned it. None of them raised a hand or offered any form of interjection at all"
" Do any of you know why that all happened so easily and with total compliance? "
Dr. Aster's eyes seemed to sharply and quickly examine the students still in the hall. As his gaze pierced through us. In this moment, it felt as though my feet couldn't leave the floor.
Dr. Aster's voice now calmly moved onto what seemed to be his presentation.
" They all understand my authority and as such recognised me as a superior, personal agency was bypassed and they experienced an agentic shift. "
" If you look under your seats in just a moment when I instruct you to do so, you will find a paper bag"
Almost half of the students reached immediately, trying to sneak a glance at the bag and its contents. And the absolute fury that came next was unexpected and powerful.
" ALL OF YOU WHO JUST REACHED FOR THE BAG STAND UP AND REMOVE YOURSELVES FROM THIS HALL IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT SAYING A WORD" Dr aster's voice was so intimidating, even more so than I have ever known a person to be. As if he executed a grip on my heartbeat and could squeeze it with his voice at will.
I considered joining the rest of those who started to leave , but once again, looking over at Sarah, who is seemingly transfixed on the Dr. Her smile was still present but kind of softer than before. She was calm and still engaged in the speech of this man.
The rabble of curious minds so unwanted and undesireable left without a word, and in finally exiting the hall, we began again.
Dr. Aster's presentation now hit its stride with a captive audience, and with total control of the room, he explains the methods used in the military and in media to coerce us or guide us into an action either softly or with fear.
The whole time, there is an audio of white noise playing in the background. None of us dared to bring it up for fear of being singled out by this seemingly terrifying figure cloaked in the form of Dr. Aster.
Then I notice that almost all of us here are girls , maybe most boys are rudely late and inherently curious. It appears most of the boys had left. In fact, I'm pretty sure the remaining students are girls. only about 50 or 60 of us, but I'm pretty sure it's all girls now.
" This next clip I'm about to show you has various suggestions hidden inside it "
I'm going to play it, and you're going to pay attention to it. Do not take your eyes off the screen at any time. Is that understood?"
" I want you to be able to identify the suggestions , its important to you , yes, each of you to find all of them. If one of you misses a single suggestion hidden in this clip, we go again. So it is in your interest to watch very closely relax and take in everything you see"
" Once we start, you will need to recall the suggestions after we finish, I will ask each of you to recall a suggestion from the clip. One by one, you need to remember what you saw."
Dr. Aster's voice was somehow so controlling. I didn't doubt that for a second we would miss a thing. But the idea we might miss something pushes me into a state of intense focus.
Sarah's smile is now gone. She reaches over and holds my hand in my lap, and she seems so still and calm like she's done this a hundred thousand times before.
" Just watch it's really easy to follow this. I'm right here with you. You can do this "
Sarah's voice has a soft calming influence on me, and I prepare myself for the coming test.
Her hand presses against mine.
" Remember you want to see all of the suggestions every one of them or we do it again"
Sarah said those words and I felt confident we would win this game and test of focus.
The clip plays , it flashes so fast I barely saw a thing it was over in 2 seconds. I'm nervous. I think I missed all of them.
Dr Aster snaps his fingers, they echo the hall, and the echo resonates through my mind, as he points at me, my heart stops as he calls out.
" You know them all i can see it in your eyes . Tell me a suggestion you saw"
" Obey "
I said that without thinking I couldn't possibly have seen that, but my voice spoke out like it was the truth.
" Excellent well done, great job," he said immediately, pointing at Sarah he snaps his fingers.
" Slave" she calls out with a weakness to her tone.
Sarah is void of all emotion, and it's strange to see. But she is still holding my hand just like before.
" Excellent, well done, great job," he says as that finger snaps to point at another.
" Master " calls out another weak female voice as if so calm, almost asleep. He asks around the room a few more times before the inevitable happens. Someone misses a suggestion
" I'll play it again. This time, really focus like it's all you have to do. Nothing else is required of you. You only need to focus and receive these suggestions. I will play it a little longer this time to make sure you get them. "
He's giving us a chance this time at least.
The clip plays again, and the white noise just seems to help me this time. I see the words hidden this time, all of them. It's like the clip is somehow slower now, and it's easier to spot the words.
Obey, slave, obey ,master, obey, for, pleasure.
The clip is still going over and over , I see them all now, but it's still going. It's speeding up again, and my mind races to keep up.
The girls in the room have started saying the words out aloud , all of them reciting it like a mantra, all the girls all doing as he said.
" Obey slave obey master obey for pleasure"
Sarah's hand cups my face as she stares at me with a blank thousand yard stare.
" Obey slave obey master obey for pleasure"
Sarah's voice and the chanting mantra go on for minutes before I find myself repeating the mantra each word and feeling it sealing itself in the deepest parts of my mind. A new truth or perhaps an old one and now very much a part of my mind.
Over and over, we chant , the pace quickens my heart beats faster, I feel myself about to pass out before . . . .blank
I wake up to the sound of rapturous applause, and Dr. Aster waving at the hall of students.
As we leave, Sarah takes me over to meet him, I'm confused. What just happened?
As we approach him, I feel myself becoming weak. I'm standing in front of him, and I can't take my eyes off his name tag.
Dr M.Aster
" Master " I say out aloud without a thought of how it might not be appropriate.
He snaps his fingers. I look up at his eyes utterly transixed. I can't look away, and I don't want to. I must pay attention. I must focus. I must not miss a suggestion.
He leans over to me, places his heavy hand on my shoulder, and says in a commanding and yet lowered tone.
" Tonight you will come back here at 11pm sharp with Sarah and the others so you can feel pleasure for obeying your master. You will obey this order slave, and you will be rewarded."
I nod.
He is my master , and it's like he always has been my master and he simply reminded me he was. His power is intoxicating. I want to experience pleasure from my master now more than anything else.
He releases his hand from my shoulder, and my eyes can move again, I'm smiling, and I blush before saying thank you and leave.
As Sarah and I leave, I slowly feel more awake and like I was before. The way I did before I walked through those hall doors. Sarah smiles happily again, looks over at me like she knows a secret she's dying to tell me.
But I smile back , I do know the secret , I do know why she smiles so much. I have a Master and it's all I ever wanted. And we are going to meet him again very soon.
#chvrch of the darkest mind#brainwashing#hypnosis#hypnotism#hypnotized#conditioning#coercion#A story from Chvrch
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September Love | Never Grow Up
the third and final installment in the mini series - this is the second version, more sadder so that's a heads up there
summary: remi starts her first year of school and there's a new arrival in the williamson family
pairings: leah williamson x reader
warning: talks of death.
alternative ending for this one - please don't hate me for it, i'm sorry in advance!
based on the reactions to this one, is how i am going to figure out the next mini series!
“I can’t believe it’s this time already,” Leah says, a frown etched on her face as she stares at an old photo of Remi at 5 weeks old that she had saved in her phone, “Where has the time gone?” She murmurs.
It only felt like it was yesterday.
“We blinked Le,” You tell her, your eyes softening, “And just like that, she’s off to big school.” You add.
“But she’s still too tiny for big school, isn’t she?” Your wife exhales a sigh and continues to stare at the photo on her phone with tears welling up in her eyes.
“Le, she’s 5 years old now. We have to let her go now,” You say gently, reminding your wife that your eldest girl was indeed not a baby now.
“I still don’t like it though,” Leah admits quietly, shaking her head in disagreement.
You can’t help but chuckle heartily, “She’s only going into her first year of reception, it’s not like she’s moving out the country,” You tease your wife, which you’re quick to be on the dirty end of a scowl, “Come on Le, you know what I mean.”
“Don’t even joke about things like that,” Leah murmurs, continuing to frown at you, “You don’t get it though, it’s her first day of big school… which means she’s not a baby anymore.” She adds.
“No she’s not,” You reply quietly in agreement.
Your wife bites her bottom lip and shakes her head vigorously, “I don’t like it. Why can’t we just turn back the clock?” She asks.
“It doesn’t work like that,” You laugh humorlessly and shake your head.
“It’s just,” Leah begins to say as she finds the right words, “She was our tiny little baby at one point and now… now she’s just growing up so fast.”
“Don’t worry, we’ve still got time to go through all this again, remember?” You tell her, gesturing towards your swollen belly as you are ready to give birth any day now, “Twice.”
“I know,” Your wife’s eyes soften as she crouches down and rests her hands on your baby bump, “I can’t wait to meet you baby boy.” She whispers, placing a gentle kiss on your stomach.
“And he can’t wait to meet his Mummy either,” You tell her, genuinely smiling at the blonde, “Any day now.” You add, hopeful that he does make his appearance sooner rather than later after getting to the stage of being uncomfortable, and pregnancy during Summer is no joke.
“Why’re you sad, Mummy?” Remi’s voice pipes up out of nowhere, all ready for school wearing her brand new school uniform that you have to admit looks massive on her, her hair done up in a loose ponytail with a red ribbon attached while she wears her new black shiny shoes that you had the absolute misfortune of having to experience standing in a queue to just to get into the busy shop – that is something that you can definitely say you’re not such a fan off.
“Oh I’m not sad, baby Gooner,” Leah immediately plasters a smile on her face, “I’m just… I’m really proud of you, you know?” She adds, wiping away the stray tears from her face.
“But you’re crying though,” Remi frowns in confusion as she tilts her head to the side, “You only do that when you’re sad, like when you watch them really sad films about the puppies or when you’re on the pitch sometimes–”
“Okay, okay, I think we get it,” Leah interjects, before your daughter has any further chance to expose your wife for the softy that she really is, “I’m not sad, baby Gooner. I’m just so excited for you that you’re starting big school today. Are you excited?” She questions.
“Uh huh! I am so excited, I can’t wait to make lots of friends like uncle Jacob told me about!” Remi is vibrating with excitement, which is more than can be said about your wife.
“You’re going to make so many new friends!” You reassure your little girl with a proud smile on your face, “Alright, how about we take a picture for your first day of big school, yeah?”
“Yeah!” Remi jumps up and down in delight at the idea.
“Big smiles, Remi Roo!” You encourage as your daughter flashes you a gap-toothed smile from the tooth that she lost just the previous week.
You make it a whole family occasion with Esme toddling in to join in the photo opportunity and many snaps are taken amongst your little family of four, soon to be five.
“Perfect, baby girl!” You tell her, taking lots of pictures as you stare at them with a sense of nostalgia as all the sudden memories come to light of the several milestones Remi has achieved over the last 5 years, “You really are growing up, Remi Roo.”
“I don’t like it, it’s too many milestones at once,” Leah cracks under the pressure and shakes her head, wiping another stray tear away.
“Le,” Your facial expression softens as you wrap your arms around your wife to comfort her.
“It’s okay, Mummy!” Remi wraps her small arms around Leah’s legs, “Don’t be sad now! It’s gon’ be okay!”
“Me join!” Esme, not wanting to be left out, holds her hands up in the air for you to lift her up, “Mummy sad?” She asks, confused.
“A little bit,” You answer your youngest honestly.
“I make it better,” Esme declares, pressing a sloppy kiss on Leah’s cheek, “All better?”
“Much better, thank you Essie Bear,” Leah coos, returning a gentle kiss to Esme’s cheek.
“You can still cuddle me, even when I’m at big school!” Remi points out, peering up to look at your wife from where she’s stood, “It’s okay!”
“Oh, well in that case then I am definitely holding you to that,” Leah grins and scoops Remi up into her arms, “I’m gonna get in all the snuggles in that I can!” She says, squeezing her tightly.
“Alright, alright,” You break it up jokingly, “Let’s not smother her before she even makes it out the door for her first day.”
“Don’t you dare make fun of me,” Leah tells you, pointing her index finger in your face, “This is a big moment today.” She adds, placing Remi back down on the floor.
You snicker in amusement at your wife’s expense, “Oh don’t I know it? Big bad scary Leah Williamson crying over her little girl’s first day at big school,” You pause, the smirk not leaving your face, “Gosh, what will the world think?”
Your wife glares at you and gently swats you, “Shut up, I’m allowed to be emotional today.”
“Uh huh, and what’s the reason for every other day then?” You can’t help but wonder with a shit eating grin on your face.
“You’re lucky that I love you,” Leah murmurs, rolling her eyes at your antics to wind her up.
“And I love you too,” You reply, pecking her on the lips, “You’re the lucky one that I put up with you being a blubbering mess every time Remi does something that’s deemed ‘too grown up’,” You remind her, amusedly.
“I’m emotional, okay?” Leah exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air, “She’s our eldest, our baby… Our baby Gooner!”
“You can’t call me that anymore, Mummy!” Your 5 year old points out, “I’m not a baby!”
Your wife pouts at your daughter's words and shakes her head, “You will always be my baby, no matter how old you get,” She pauses, “Even when you’re 30 and you have your own family.”
Remi wrinkles her face up in disgust, “Boys are yucky, I don’t want a boyfriend.” She states,
“And you’re definitely right to think that,” You chuckle amusedly as you gather your small family out of the door and make your way to your wife’s BMW, “I think if Mummy had her way, she wouldn’t let you date until you’re 25 at least.” You joke.
“I’m ready to go in!” Remi announces, standing outside of the school gates in a tone that sounds far more grown up than her 5 year old self, “I’m not scared.”
“It’s good to not be scared, you’re going to have so much fun!” You tell her, holding her hand and guiding her through the gates of the school while Leah follows behind holding Esme’s hand, “You’re going to smash it, baby girl!”
“And we’ll be right here to pick you up when the day is done, okay?” Leah reassures your daughter, catching up with your toddler, who likes to walk at her own pace.
“Okay!” Your eldest nods in agreement, bouncing on her toes as she carries her backpack that looks way too big for her.
“Rem! Rem!” Esme shouts to get her big sister’s attention, “Rem!”
“I’m going to big school, Bear,” Remi crouches down and wraps her arms around her little sister, “But I’ll see you when I’m home and tell you all about it!”
Watching the exchange between your daughters, makes your heart swell with pride and a touch of bittersweetness.
“Miss ‘ou, Rem,” Esme pouts, a little frown forming on her tiny face as her voice wobbles, as if she’s on the verge of tears.
“Miss you too, Bear,” Remi continues to squeeze her little sister tightly, “I’ll be back later though, don’t worry!” She adds with a smile that reveals her recently lost tooth.
“Come here, you,” Leah crouches down to your daughter’s level and wraps her arms around her, squeezing her tightly as if to not let go and hold on to her forever, “I’m so proud of you, here at big school, eh? You’re going to make so many friends and learn so much! Oh, and have a lot of fun as well!” She tells her.
“Mummy,” Remi attempts to wriggle away from your wife’s embrace, “You’re… You’re squeezing too tight.” She whines,
“I’m just soaking up the moment until you’re home from school,” Leah admits, pulling back and brushing a loose strand of hair behind Remi’s ear, “Big school, eh? I wish you would stop growing up so much on me, I don’t like it.” She jokes with her.
“You have to let me grow up, Mummy,” Remi’s giggle is infectious as she squeezes your wife again tightly, “I gots’ to go in now, but I’ll see you when you pick me up, remember?”
“We will be right here waiting for you,” You tell her, unable to crouch down properly with your swollen belly in the way, “We’re so proud of you, Remi Roo!” You add, kissing the top of her head.
You spot your daughters’ teacher making her way over to your family as she gives you both a kind smile, “Hi, Remi. Are you ready to go in?” She asks.
“Yes!” Remi excitedly replies, giving you both a final hug goodbye before she takes hold of her teachers’ hand and begins to walk in the building, “Bye, Mummy! Bye, Mumma! Bye, Bear!” She calls back, her voice ringing with excitement.
“Bye, baby Gooner,” Leah waved back, her voice catching slightly as you see the glimmer of tears threatening to spill over again.
You can feel your own chest tightening as you force a smile and wave, “See you later, Remi Roo. Have the best day!”
“Bye-bye, Rem! Love you!” Esme clings to Leah’s leg, waving frantically.
“Save your tears for the car, Le,” You tease, taking note of your wife’s eyes, the tears are a lot more visible now, “I know it’s hard to watch her go in there, but it’ll be 3 o’clock before we know it.” You add, hoping that helps things a little better.
“I know,” Leah murmurs in agreement, walking round to the pre-school that Esme attended next to the school.
You can say that dropping Esme off to pre-school wasn’t too hard, although there were extra tight hugs given before your youngest daughter ran off inside without a care in the world.
Much to your wife’s disappointment, and you swear the tears threaten to spill again.
“At least we know what your weakness is now,” You joke, climbing back into the passenger seat of the car after dropping them both off, “It’s only a few hours, remember? It’ll be here before we know it.” You tell her.
Leah tries to laugh it off and shake her head as she climbs into the driver's seat, “Yeah, and to think I still have to go to training,” She pauses as wipes a visible tear away as she buckles her seatbelt in, “I wish I could just tell Jonas that we have a family emergency.” She tells you.
It’s at that moment, you completely freeze as you feel a sudden wet patch on your leather seat.
“Um, Le,” You mumble, getting her attention as she fiddles with the dials of the car to find the right music playlist, “I think you might need to call Jonas and tell him that there’s a family emergency.” You say.
Leah turns towards you and looks confused, “Why’s that, love?” She wonders.
“Well, because I’m 99% sure that my waters have just broken,” You admit, gazing down to motion to the seat.
It takes literal seconds for your wife’s eyes to widen in shock, “What? Here? Now?” She rambles in a clear panic, “Seriously? Oh my God!”
“Don’t panic,” You murmur, trying to keep the situation calm despite your best efforts – Your wife is very much in a complete panic over this.
“I’m not… I’m not panicking,” Leah stutters her words as she runs her hand through her hair, “What'd we do? Do you feel like you have contractions? We need to get the hospital bag from the house!” She continues to ramble.
You shake your head in disagreement, “I don’t feel like there’s any currently,” You pause, “We’ll go home, stay there until they start and head to the hospital when it’s time, yeah?” You suggest, trying to keep calm in the situation despite the one being hours away from giving birth.
“O… Okay,” Leah swallows the lump that’s formed in her throat, “We’ll go home, we’ll wait there– I need to call my Mum, she’ll need to pick the girls up.” She notes in realisation.
“Yeah, I somehow don’t think it’s going to be possible to be there for the 3 o’clock pick up after all,” You murmur, exhaling a sigh, “Little man has decided today’s the day to make his grand entrance into the world.”
Plans don’t always go as expected. You certainly didn’t expect to go into labour on the very same day that your eldest daughter started big school, but sometimes life takes you by complete surprise.
That day, life had a far bigger surprise than you or Leah could ever have imagined.
“This doesn’t feel right, you should be here,” Leah speaks aloud a few hours later, cradling your newborn son, Archie George Williamson at home in her arms, knowing that you should be here to see this moment as well.
His tiny breaths, soft and slow, his fingers curled into little fists – You’re not there to hold him yourself.
The labour had been far more complicated than anyone could have anticipated and you lost too much blood, and though they tried to save you, you never woke up after your son came into the world.
Leah's eyes are red from crying, but she’s holding herself together for the sake of the baby – For the sake of the three children that you’ve left behind while she strokes Archie’s head softly, “I hate that you aren’t here, I hate that my Mum had to pick Remi up on her first day," She murmurs, almost to herself, “We promised her we would both be there.”
The room feels empty without you, a hollow space where your laughter and warmth should be. Leah feels the ache of your absence in every corner, in every breath she takes.
“I hope you know how much your Mumma loved you already, little man,” The blonde whispers, her heart breaking as she looks down at Archie, whose little face is scrunched up while he sleeps, “Believe me, she loved you so, so much from the minute we found out we were expecting you.”
As she takes a deep breath to steady herself, she continues to speak, “Our family might not be complete now, but you’re here, Archie Bug and we’ll make sure that you know all about her.”
There’s a quiet knock on the door and the sound of little feet thundering down the hallway as Amanda has brought Remi and Esme back from school. Leah wipes her eyes quickly, trying to put on a brave face as the door flies open.
“Mummy!” Remi shouts, her voice full of excitement, her hair now wild and free from it’s ponytail, running into the room with wide eyes, bright and full of curiosity, unaware of the loss that’s waiting to be explained.
���Mumma! Mummy!” Esme echoes, hot of her sister’s heels, her usual energetic self completely oblivious to the gravity of the situation.
“Shhh, girls,” Leah gently admonishes, holding up a finger to her lips, “We have to be quiet and use our inside voices.” She reminds them softly, her heart aching as she realises she’ll have to tell them soon.
Remi, always so observant, stops short and notices the bundle in Leah’s arms, but frowns when she doesn’t see you on the sofa like she thought she would, “Where’s Mumma?”
Leah’s smile falters, the weight of her grief momentarily overwhelming as she struggles to find the words, “Mumma… She’s not here anymore,” she says softly, her voice quivering.
Remi’s head tilts in confusion, not able to understand your wife’s words so much, “What do you mean, Mummy?” She asks as her eyes fix on Archie as she tiptoes over to Leah with exaggerated caution, “Is this him?”
“It is,” Leah responds, her voice trembling, “Girls, this is your baby brother, Archie.”
Esme’s face lights up with delight, “Baby?” She says, her voice high-pitched and curious, “My baby?” She asks.
“Your baby brother,” Leah corrects with a small, sad smile as she continues to hold Archie in her arms.
Amanda, who has walked through the house with Jacob, peers over to look at her new grandson, “He’s perfect, Bubba.” She says, sharing a sad smile with her daughter.
Jacob scoops Esme up into his arms to give her a better look at your newborn, “He’s very little still, Es, so you have to be very gentle with him.” He tells her.
Remi leans in closer, her little face filled with wonder, “He’s tiny, Mummy,” She reaches out, carefully touching Archie’s tiny hand, “He’s smaller than my dollies.”
Leah laughs softly, tears threatening again, “He is, isn’t he?” She pauses to settle Archie down in his Moses basket, “But he’ll grow up to be big and strong, just like you.”
Jacob sets Esme down next to Remi, watching the two girls stare at their brother in the Moses basket as Amanda takes the moment to wrap her arms around her daughter to comfort her.
Wanting to be brave for her children, Leah wipes away any visible tears and plasters on a fake smile as she looks in the direction of her daughters, “What do you think, Essie Bear?” She asks, catching the moment that Esme tries to reach out and poke Archie’s cheek gently, “Gentle, Essie.” She reminds her with a soft smile.
Archie just lets out a soft sigh but still remains asleep, already learning to find comfort in the noise around him.
“He likes it, Mummy,” Esme declares confidently, trying to reach out and poke him again.
“We have to be gentle with him, Es. He’s only little,” Leah tells her softly, her voice catching in her throat.
Remi glances up at Leah, “Mummy, will he like Arsenal, like you do?” She asks, curiously.
“I mean I hope so, but if not then that’s okay too,” Leah answers honestly, pushing past the weight in her chest, “Just as long as he doesn’t follow uncle Jacob and support Spurs.” She jokes, trying to make light of the situation despite how heartbroken she feels inside.
“Of course you just had to get in there, didn’t you?” Jacob rolls his eyes, shaking his head in amusement.
“What? We’re a family full of Gooners in this house,” Leah shrugs, trying to hold onto the joy in the room, “Just as long as all 3 of my kids are happy then that’s all that matters to me now.”
“Can I hold him, Mummy? Please?” Remi leans in closer, looking at Leah with those big, hopeful eyes that match her own.
Leah nods with a smile that almost feels real, “Okay, Rem, but you have to sit down and be very still, okay?” She instructs gently.
Remi eagers nods and hops onto the chair beside the bed, her little legs dangling off the edge as she waits in anticipation to hold Archie. Leah gently lifts the sleeping baby from his Moses basket, cradling his body with steady hands, though her heart feels anything but, as she slowly places him into Remi’s waiting arms.
“Hi, Archie,” Remi’s face lights up with pure delight, her grin stretching from ear to ear as she cradles her baby brother with such tender care in the world, “I’m Remi, I’m your big sister and I love you lots!” she whispers, her voice filled with awe.
“He loves you lots too, Rem,” Leah whispers back, her voice breaking just a little, how she wishes you were to see this, to be part of this moment.
“My turn next!” Esme declares, standing on her tiptoes, trying to peek over Remi’s shoulder, “My turn!” She repeats, a little too loud as Leah quickly hushes her with a finger to her lips.
“Soon, Essie Bear,” Leah promises, brushing a hand through Esme’s curly hair, “Remi’s just having a cuddle first, see?”
Esme nods eagerly, her face scrunched up in concentration as she watches her sister carefully, “Okay, I wait,” She whispers, “He’s cute, Mummy.”
“He is, isn’t he?” Leah agrees, her smile wobbly but genuine as she looks down at Archie before leaning down to kiss the top of Esme’s head, “He looks just like you when you were born as well. Tiny and perfect.”
As Leah watches her three children, she feels the weight of your absence, an ache that will never fully leave but she knows that no matter what, she needs to be strong for them now. Making sure that they never forget you, she will keep your memory alive in every way that she can.
Because even though you’re not here, your love is and Leah will make sure that’s enough.
© scribblesofagoonerr
#woso x reader#woso fanfics#arsenal x reader#woso imagine#woso#woso one shot#arsenal women x reader#leah williamson x reader#arsenal wfc x reader#scribblesofagoonerr
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hiiiiiii i've been taking a wee brain break from actively managing the blog (still loads of pics in the queue don't worry it'll never run out) but part of the reason is the sheer volume of submissions/asks so i think from here on out i'm going to reply to fewer of them, if you don't seen me post your submission please don't take it personally. i'm fr so amazed by how well this blog took off and it's humbling how many ppl want to participate, i am grateful for all of you <3 i just need to find a way to still run the blog w/o letting myself get overwhelmed, i might turn asks/submissions off from time to time when i need a break
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