#i'm still learning to let myself take breaks when i need to and not run myself into the ground until i physically can't do anything else

[horsemeatluvr23]

little sketchbook spread w the last 3 + todays hermit a day doodles !! chronic illness has been kicking my ass this week so these r lower effort than i'd like but,,,,,, practice is practice !!!

[ladysharmaa]

New life

Anthony Bridgerton x reader

Summary: Anthony has an argument with his wife, who is from a lower class, when she makes a mistake while promenading with Anthony

(gif is not mine)

Y/n felt like a fish out of water. She didn't grow up in the privileged life that her husband, Anthony, had. Of course her life wasn't bad either, so many others had it worse than her. Y/n was the daughter of well-known merchants, and despite their busy lives where she had to start working as a child to help her family, she was grateful for everything she had.

And then everything changed. Y/n was used to having to speak louder, wipe her hands on her old skirt after touching someone's dirty money, and do manual labor. Until one day, Viscount Bridgerton saw her, and it was love at first sight. A love that was rejected by both for too long.

Anthony was the one who gave in first. He started going to her parents' stall more often, buying things he didn't even need and that others could do for him just so he could look at Y/n. It was indisputable that there was a connection between them. Anthony insisted that they couldn't ignore how they felt about each other, but the girl was afraid. A daughter of merchants marrying into the upper class? It could only go wrong, and to make matters worse it would ruin the reputation of the Bridgerton family. But Anthony made her feel things she never thought she would feel.

Her parents, upon realizing what was happening, warned her of the dangers, but they just wanted to see their daughter happy. In the end, Y/n ended up confessing her love for Bridgerton when he came to her stall saying it would be the last time if she wanted it. Instead of answering him, Y/n took his hand, taking him to an isolated place, where no one could see them, and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

Now, six months after they got married and were living a very happy life together, Y/n was still trying to learn the rules of society. It was a work in progress, and Anthony's mother and sisters helped Y/n a lot, explaining everything she could and couldn't do. There was so much information that she often just followed her instinct, ending up breaking some rules. Fortunately, she had just been among family and hadn't had to listen to anyone's judgment.

It wasn't easy being thrown into high society, dressed in the best dresses that she tried her best not to get dirty, speaking softly, and letting the maids do everything for her. But she would do anything for Anthony, and now she had a lifestyle that many would kill for. She couldn't complain.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It was a sunny day and so, Y/n and Anthony decided to promenade through the park, taking the opportunity to go on a small boat trip. Everything was going well, the woman had fun touching the crystal clear water and watching the fish that fled quickly while Anthony, who was responsible for the physical work, smiled in amusement.

So, they decided to end their afternoon with one last walk through the park to enjoy the last rays of sun, Y/n's hand on Anthony's arm. Y/n was telling him for the thousandth time how excited she was to go play pall mall the next day with the rest of the Bridgerton family. But Anthony never complained and listened attentively and patiently.

But the couple's peace was ruined when a little in front of them, a woman who Y/n quickly recognized as Earl Harrison's wife, was shouting at a maid. She was already old, and was on her knees on the floor trying to clean the woman's expensive dress. People were sending them looks and Y/n felt fury run through her veins when no one intervened, allowing that maid to be basically humiliated in a public square.

She took a step forward, but was pulled back by Anthony, who was holding her hand while sending her a look. "We have nothing to do with this. It's better not to get involved."

Y/n frowned, shaking her head in denial. "No. I'm sorry, Anthony, but I can't do this. But I promise I'll control myself." She then added in a whisper, "If she doesn't irritate me."

"Y/n…"

But Anthony didn't have time to finish his sentence because his wife was already putting on a fake smile, approaching that scene. "Excuse me, what is happening?"

"Lady Bridgerton, look!" the Countess exclaimed while pointing at her maid as if she were an inferior being, noting that she was waiting for Y/n to take her side. "I came to have a picnic on this beautiful day, but this incompetent woman dropped the cake on my dress. It was my favorite!"

"You sound like a child." Y/n said truthfully, not caring about the gasps heard. Anthony sighed behind her.

"Countess Harrinson, I tripped over a stone. My deep apologies, it won't happen again." the maid, still kneeling on the floor, whimpered. The woman rolled her eyes and gave her a small kick, forcing her to move away.

"It won't happen again because you're not coming back with me. I don't accept mistakes, especially like this." The Countess said coldly, while Viscountess Bridgerton became redder and redder with anger.

"But I—"

"You know, Countess Harrinson, she won't be coming back to you because she's going to work for Viscount Bridgerton. We'd be happy to have you,…"

"Mary." the maid said, putting her hands to her face and crying. "My apologies. Thank you, Lady Bridgerton. That's very kind of you."

"How dare you!" the Countess exploded in anger. "You just disrespected Earl Harrinson's wife." Anthony's wife continued to look at her indifferently. The other mumbled in frustration, "I'm going to destroy your family's reputation."

"I'd like to see you try." she narrowed her eyes, not looking away from her until the Countess was already well away from them, the other maids hurrying after her. However, the crowd that formed stayed in the exact same place.

"Y/n, what do you think you're doing?" Anthony hissed. "We shouldn't have intervened."

"You can't really expect me to leave her here on the floor. Just because she's a maid doesn't deserve to be treated like this." Y/n snapped angrily at her husband, helping the poor woman to get up from the floor.

"I'm not saying she deserves it." he growled, he too beginning to get unnerved. "But you can't talk to an Earl's wife like that. This is a hierarchy, Y/n."

"If I see someone being mistreated, you can be sure that I will speak however I want to whoever I want."

"Watch it." Anthony warned with his jaw clenched. He looked around, noticing that they were attracting even more looks and attention. People were already starting to murmur among themselves, and Anthony was sure it wouldn't take long for rumors to spread. "Stop it and we'll talk at home."

"Don't treat me like I'm the insolent one." Y/n hissed, pulling her arm away when Anthony tried to pull her closer to him.

The maid seemed to be increasingly panicked, now being the cause of an argument between the Bridgerton couple, who were well known in society. On the other hand, the woman was quite touched by Y/n's kind gesture. In the midst of such an aggressive society, there were people with pure hearts who were not afraid to defend what they believed in.

"We'll talk at home then, Lord Bridgerton." Y/n ended up saying after a few long tense moments in which the two exchanged glares. She straightened her dress and started to walk, but stopped and looked over her shoulder at the maid who was hesitant to follow. "Come on, Mary, when we get to the mansion I'll introduce you to the rest of our maids who I'm sure will help you settle in."

The atmosphere was tense throughout the carriage ride. Anthony and Y/n continued to avoid talking, knowing that an argument would immediately begin. Instead, he seemed to be caught up in his thoughts while his wife was busy talking to Mary, who slowly seemed to be starting to relax.

When the carriage finally stopped, although they were angry with each other, the Bridgerton got out first to help Y/n out, as she was quite clumsy and it wouldn't be the first time she almost fell out of the carriage in her long dresses. .

"My office. We need to talk." he said in a low voice into Y/n's ear who nodded.

"Juliet." the Viscountess Bridgerton called one of the maids. "This is Mary. Please show her her duties and introduce her to the rest of the people. Make sure she feels welcome."

"Of course, Lady Bridgerton."

Finally, the couple was alone, but spirits seemed to still be high. Anthony continued to be frustrated with Y/n because she didn't realize that there was a hierarchy in society, and they couldn't do everything they wanted, or it would harm not only them but the entire family. On the other hand, Y/n felt that Anthony was supporting social injustice, and that no human being should be treated badly just because they are from a lower social class.

"If you're waiting for me to apologize, I won't."

"I'm hoping you realize the gravity of what you just did." Anthony snapped, running a hand over his face with a sigh. "No matter how much it costs you, you have to respect this society and its rules!"

"But I don't agree with these rules!"

"I don't care about that!" the man exploded, not seeing how Y/n flinched. They had never argued like this. Obviously, they had already disagreed on some issues, but never to the point of raising their voices. "You were selfish! Everything you do affects you and all of us. You have to stop thinking only about yourself!"

"Selfish?" Y/n muttered, looking at her husband with a frown. Those words seemed to be like a knife in her heart.

"Did it occur to you that Francesca is going to start her season in a few months? Now surely all the suitors will know about this family's reputation. That we don't respect hierarchy. That I married someone who has nothing to do with this lifestyle."

Y/n's eyes filled with tears. Her voice was shaking, but she tried to keep herself in control, "Well, I'm sorry that I let you down. It wasn't my intention, Lord Bridgerton. I'm sorry that you married someone who wasn't supposed to be here, living with all this money and stupid rules of etiquette. But I will always do what I think is right. Because unlike you, I know what it's like to be looked down upon by the upper classes."

Anthony looked at her with wide eyes, his mouth opening and closing several times. "Wait, Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. I don't regret marrying you."

"It doesn't matter what you meant. Really, you should have married someone who was already into this lifestyle, who knew what the hell they were doing. I'm trying, I swear." Some tears fell. "But it's difficult. And dealing with these people, who think they are superior to others, I can't do it."

"Y/n…"

"But you're right. I should have thought about your family. Your siblings could be harmed by what I did, and that was the last thing I wanted. My apologies for that, I will make sure I fix this."

"No, no." the Bridgerton man said, looking desperately at the woman. The woman who gave up her life to marry him, and has tried hard every day to adapt. And here he is, who instead of helping her criticizes her for defending what she believes in. "You're not going to do anything because there's nothing to fix."

"You don't need to say that, I already realized I made a mistake."

"But you didn't, I did. I let myself be influenced by everything that is wrong in this society, and that's why I'm disappointed in myself. But you, my beautiful kind wife, just did what was right, and I'm proud of you. You are not selfish, god you are nothing like that. You do so much for this family, I don't know what came over me to say something as barbaric as that."

"Anthony…" Y/n sighed, not knowing what to say. Her husband, in turn, seemed to have relaxed when Y/n finally called him by his name and not his title.

"I love you. I married you because I love who you are and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want our children to be as kind as you, and we can raise them to be good people, who help others. I'm sorry for the way I treated you."

Y/n remained silent but let a small smile appear on her face. Anthony also realized that they were better off with each other and took a step forward.

"I will kneel and beg for your forgiveness."

"What are you waiting for?" she teased.

Although she wasn't expecting it, Anthony actually lowered himself to his knees at her feet, looking at her in amusement but also with sincerity. "My apologies, Lady Bridgerton. I will not repeat my mistakes again. I love you and how fierce you are. Now, will you please forgive me?"

"I don't know, Anthony, maybe I need something more convincing." she said, closing her eyes when she felt her husband lift her dress a little to place small kisses on her legs.

"I'm all yours, Y/N. For the rest of my days."

[roosterforme]

Okay, Em. I don't think this has been asked, but I need to put this out there for the Jake and Darlin hcs:

The first time Jake makes Darlin squirt

I just know it's a lesson, and she might get embarrassed, but he gets so much satisfaction from it

OKAY. Jake would silently make it his mission to see if he can get Darlin' to squirt. He wouldn't tell her about it ahead of time, because he doesn't want to put any pressure on her.... no, this is purely on him. Mission: Make my girlfriend squirt (smut below)

Jake had been at it for about a week and a half. He gave you no explanation as to why he was spending so much time with his hands and mouth on your body, but you certainly weren't complaining. He was determined to succeed in his current endeavor without you even knowing what he was doing.

"Jake," you moaned, hands gripping the bathroom vanity as he kept you pinned between the front his body and his arm. His fingers were working at a frantic pace on your clit as he buried his face in your neck and inhaled how sweet you smelled. His cock was rock hard and digging into your lower back, and the more you squirmed, the more he kept you pinned right there in front of him.

"Does it feel good?" he grunted when you tossed your head back.

"Y-Yes!" you gasped, trying to squeeze your thighs together. "It's too much!"

He kissed your shoulder softly as his hand started to get tired. "Well, which is it, Darlin'? Good? Or too much?"

You made a keening sound as you jerked back against him. "I feel like I'm going to.... wet myself."

Just as he was trying to decide if he should ease off and give you a break, your body trembled and you whined his name. You met his gaze in the mirror, lips trembling, a look of surprise all over your face. Then he pinched your clit before shoving two fingers inside your pussy, and he felt it.

"Jake!" you screeched as you came, soaking his hand. He could feel it on his bare feet. He could smell your arousal. He wanted to taste it. But your eyes were wide, and you were shaking your head as you whined, "I'm so embarrassed. You made me pee."

A smile curled along his lips. "I made you squirt."

"Oh," you whispered, chest still rising and falling as you pieced it together. "I squirted?"

"Mmhmm," he hummed, kissing your ear. "I've been trying to figure out exactly what you needed in order to make it happen. Been dying to solve the mystery."

You looked down at the wet mat on the floor as Jake brought his hand up to his lips to taste you.

"Jesus Christ," he moaned, running his tongue along his palm. "Lesson twenty-nine was all for me. Learn how to make my girlfriend squirt."

You turned to face him, surprising him by licking his hand to taste yourself. "That was pretty fun. I'll let you do it again. Want me to give you a blowjob before we take a bath?"

He kissed your lips softly and reached behind him to turn on the hot water. "Have at it, Darlin'."

[apomaro-mellow]

Every Baby Needs a Daddy 4

Part 3

"And you said yes?", Robin said, her voice impressively even.

"I did", Steve said, phone on speaker as he got ready for work. "I figure, if he's going to have a sugar baby, might as well be me, right? I think this is the universe giving me a break."

"Okay, yeah, sure, until he takes you out and gets you involved in like drugs or something, or takes his anger out on you when he doesn't win a Grammy or something. Or worse, you're a mistress and his actual spouse comes for revenge. OR you actually get really involved with him, help him get even more famous, have very talented children, but then his drug running gets you arrested and when you get out of jail he acts like he doesn't know you and estranges your children!"

Steve paused in putting on his shoes, grinning. "You've been watching Empire."

"Terrence did Taraji so dirty Steve."

"But not enough to learn their characters' names. I need you to catch up so we can watch season 2 together." It hurt being away from her. Before, whenever one of them started obsessing over a show, they could literally sit down and put aside one of their days off to binge a bunch of episodes.

"Sorry, let's get back to you dating a rockstar? Steve? Steve."

"We're not dating. He's just gonna text me whenever he wants to fuck. That's it. He might buy me something nice from time to time." Steve grabbed his keys and went out the door, nearly stepping on something left on the floor in front of it.

"Okay, yeah, sure, but isn't this the reason you cut your parents out? Did they want this exact life for you?", Robin asked.

"No, this is totally different. For one thing, Eddie doesn't want commitment. He doesn't want kids out of me. And even if I attend events with him, I'm just arm candy, but you know, in a good way."

"There's a bad way to be arm candy?"

Steve thought back to the functions he had to go to when still under his parents' thumb. There was definitely a bad way to hang off someone's arm like a decoration. He looked to the little box in his hand. No note, but it had clearly been placed in front of his apartment.

He opened it and found an expensive looking watching inside. The face was a cool navy blue color. He didn't need a card to know who it was from.

"Eddie's different from the guys my parents wanted", Steve said. "And when it's over, I'll at least have something to show for it."

"Just don't be stupid about this, dingus. If this goes sideways, I won't be close by to save your ass."

"Noted", Steve said as he closed the box and continued on his way to work.

-------------------

The next time Eddie texted him, it was to go to lunch. It was a more casual setting than before, but still a pretty high end sushi restaurant.

"I must admit, I called you here under false pretenses, Steve", Eddie said as they sat in a booth.

Steve smiled at his serious tone. "I gathered, given our whole arrangement." Being taken out somewhere was typically a prelude for something intimate later, even in a normal relationship. When Eddie asked him out, Steve full expected sex. He wasn't complaining, last time had been very nice. He wondered how long until Eddie sent a simple 'u up?' booty call.

"I have to attend some fancy lunch meeting in a couple days and they're taking us to a sushi place", Eddie started to explain. "Problem is, I hate sushi."

"...Did you...are we here to train your taste buds or something?", Steve asked.

Eddie nodded. "These are some pretty important people and I can't sit there and tell them my favorite fish is whatever they use for fish sticks."

"Pretty sure it's cod."

"What? Nevermind. I just need to get one of everything and force myself to acquire a taste for it", Eddie said, eyes narrowing in focus at the menu.

Steve smiled. It was cute how serious he was being. He thought back to previous gatherings when some alpha would try and force a drink on him or when the hors d'oeuvres being served weren't to his liking.

"Want some advice?", he offered, continuing when Eddie nodded with his big Bambi eyes, "Instead of forcing yourself to like something, you should be able to say why you don't like something."

"Sounds like complaining", Eddie said, putting the menu down.

"No, you sound cultured", Steve clarified. "Watch." He cleared his throat and held up his glass of water. "Thank you for offering, but I only drink water from a natural spring. I prefer Canadian or Icelandic, but I'll take Swedish if you have it. Nothing from Switzerland though, it has this horrid mineral after taste to it." He set the glass down, adjusting under Eddie's wide eyed gaze.

"I don't know if that was bullshit or not but it sounded legit."

"It's legit what some girl said at a party once. I've never sourced where my water came from, but it works for just about anything. If you can articulate why you don't like something, it comes off better than just saying you don't like it."

"What kind of parties did you go to?", Eddie smirked.

Steve shrunk a little. "Just, you know, parties. So what's your experience with sushi?"

"Supermarket stuff", Eddie said simply.

"....You're kidding. How long have you been a rockstar?"

"I didn't realize this was an interview."

Steve tapped the table as he considered something. He looked to the other part of the restaurant. The bar where chefs were preparing the food. He almost asked Eddie a question directly, but remembered his role as a sugar baby. It wasn't his job to ask how much something would cost or even to ask Eddie to spend the money. All he needed to do was ask for what he wanted.

So he moved over to Eddie's side of the booth and leaned in close to his space. "I think you need something a little more...fresh."

"Fresh?", Eddie echoed as Steve led him to stand.

"And flavorful."

"Uh-huh."

"And satisfying", Steve whispered the last part before sitting down at the bar.

Eddie didn't know when Steve got him here but he did and he ordered something called 'omakase' and suddenly the chef's hands got really busy. He put a little filet of something on rice and then took a blow torch to it.

"I didn't know you could cook the fish..."

It was placed in front of him, but Eddie was still skeptical, which Steve noticed.

"'Omakase' means you're trusting the chef to pick out the best for you", he said. Then Steve took his chopsticks and picked up his piece. He ate it in one bite and Eddie subconsciously swallowed as he watched it pass his beautiful lips and then slide down that gorgeous throat. He wasn't even eating sexily, that was just how far gone he was.

Then Steve picked up Eddie's piece and held it to his lips. Eddie didn't even hesitate to open up and let it in. Tender rice, delicate fish, a total opposite to the sushi he'd experienced before. And it didn't stop there. The chef served cut after cut and each time, Steve asked him what he liked or didn't like.

Eddie was no slouch when it came to language. So he was able to come up with that on his own. He had just never considered respectfully refusing food and to do so with a haughty air deserving of a celebrity.

"Mmm, great choice on the shrimp", Eddie praised the chef. "Texture is superb. Sweet on the tongue too. Nice one, Tatsuro-san."

"Better than the crab?", Steve asked.

"I'm sorry, but nothin' beats an old fashioned crab boil for me. It's the only way I can eat crab."

"You've got opinions and you know how to voice them. I never imagined that be an issue for you, but I think you're ready now."

"Oh I've got opinions out the wazoo. I was just taught to never complain about food."

"Good boy", Tatsuro commented as he prepared something else.

"Very good", Steve agreed as an oyster on a half shell was put in front of him and Eddie.

Tatsuro winked at Eddie and he tried not to think about it as they finished up the course. He was absolutely not thinking about how oysters were an aphrodisiac, or how he'd had a great time, or how this felt like a date and not an outing with a hot piece. He wasn't doing a good job of being a sugar daddy, was he?

Time to fix that up right away. He paid for the meal, leaving a generous tip and led Steve out the restaurant, arm around his waist.

"You were extremely helpful. I can honestly say I like sushi now", he beamed. "And I think excellent service deserves a reward."

"You gonna give me a tip too?", Steve teased. And there was certainly a tip Eddie wanted to give him. Really the whole thing, but he had another idea in mind. And thankfully the appropriate place wasn't too far from here.

"You're buying me a suit?", Steve realized as they walked into a tailor's.

"I've got an eye for these kind of things. And you need something to match your new watch", Eddie said. He had a feeling Steve knew what to do, so he let him free.

Steve gave him a look and Eddie made a 'go on' motion. So Steve went, picking out different pieces for himself to assemble a new suit. There was a man awaiting any need of assistance and did so once Steve came out of the dressing room and stood in front of the mirrors.

Eddie was sitting before him, watching as Steve appraised his reflection and the tailor took some of his measurements. The suit was in silver, with a black shirt underneath. He finished of the look with a dark blue handkerchief in the chest pocket. It already looked great. Eddie knew he'd be breathtaking once it was bespoke. He ached to put his hands on him but public decency kept him from doing so.

"You look good enough to show off", Eddie praised.

"You look like you have somewhere in mind", Steve said, looking at the other man through the mirror.

"There's a shindig goin' down that I wouldn't mind having a date to."

Eddie put in the order for the suit to be done the day before the event. "Let's head back to my place."

This time, as they traveled, Steve was the one who couldn't keep his hands to himself. His hand stroked Eddie's thigh, getting close to where he wanted but never actually touching.

"What're you thinking about?", he asked when he noticed how hard Eddie was holding the wheel.

"Oysters. And you." And how he really should get a personal driver on hand.

Steve laughed softly and let a finger do circles on his crotch. "I think our chef was trying to be subtle. But I know what oysters are supposed to do."

"Oh?"

"And I don't need any culinary suggestion to get me in the mood." Honestly, he kind of felt like blowing Eddie now and probably would have chanced it if it wasn't still light out. "Can you be a good boy like he said?"

Eddie nodded.

"Good. Because we still have to take the elevator."

They didn't get as far as they did the first time they took this elevator but Eddie did attach himself to Steve's back and kissed at his neck. Once again, Steve could see their reflection in the wall. Eddie's eyes roamed his torso, wanting to go further but holding back. He only got bold enough to pinch a nipple through his shirt when the doors opened to their floor.

Steve only moved because of Eddie's prompting, finding it very easy to melt in his hold. They got about two steps out of the elevator before Eddie pushed him against the wall, kissing his lips and running his hands up under his shirt.

"Saw you lookin' at yourself in the elevator. Pretty baby likes how he looks?"

Steve's only response was to moan against his lips and rub against his leg. The closest camera was all the way at the end of the hall, though they'd be screwed if anyone opened up their door. He knew he looked good and liked looking good. And he'd seen the way Eddie's eyes were glued to him at the tailor's. That was a good feeling too.

Eddie took out his key card to open up his door and pulled Steve inside. They migrated to the couch, just needing to get horizontal. Steve lied underneath, Eddie's leg in between his again and providing friction as he rutted up against it. It was so hot, Eddie wanted to watch him get off just like this. If he got his pants off he could watch that sweet pussy drag-

Steve nearly jolted off the couch when a loud guitar riff sounded from Eddie's back pocket.

"Shit", Eddie hissed when he realized who was calling. He could ignore it, but he knew they'd just keep it up until they got to his door.

"You need to take that?", Steve asked, voice a little breathless.

"Just-just gimme a moment, it'll be quick." Eddie answered and Steve could be patient. He just couldn't be good and patient. He rubbed at Eddie's arm before taking his hand in his own. He brought it to his lips and swirled his tongue around his index finger, keeping his gaze down at first and then looking up at Eddie.

The man above him was speechless, up until whoever he was talking to shouted at him from the other end and got his attention again. Well, half of it anyway. The other half was on Steve sucking down two of his fingers now. Eddie groaned both in frustration and the beautiful man under him. Steve was only half following the conversation but it sounded like their time together might be cut short.

Eddie hung up with a sigh. "Baby...baby I gotta go."

"Right now?", Steve asked.

"Yeah but...but if you could, I mean you can stay here until I get done. It'll be quick, just a couple of hours tops. And I can take you out to dinner too."

"You want me to stay?"

Eddie's hair shook as he nodded. He stood up, glad he had a bit of time to calm his boner down. Then he saw Steve lying there on the couch, lips kissed wet and certain his lips farther down were just as glistening. He leaned over to cup him between the legs, feeling the warmth through his clothes.

"Don't forget who this belongs to", he growled when Steve whimpered.

"Okay." And because this man was sent from above, he whispered, "Daddy."

Eddie couldn't hold back then, kissing him hard, tongue marking his insides while rubbing Steve through his pants. He unzipped them, thinking he could just get him off quick when the ringtone sounded again. Pulling back was the hardest thing to do.

"Keep it nice and warm for me", Eddie said before fully removing himself.

"Hurry back."

And then Steve was alone. In a rockstar's hotel room. He thought about what a sugar baby might do when their daddy went off for what must be a very important but impromptu meeting, especially when it stopped such a heated moment. It became very obvious what he needed to do and so he headed straight for the bedroom.

Part 5

I need you to know that when I first envisioned this fic it was literally just supposed to be smut with connecting scenes but it somehow turned to "don't catch feelings" and "oops we're accidentally dating" the fic so here we are.

Tag Team

@awkotaco24 @lingeringmirth @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @tartarusknight @velocitytimes2 @mrsjellymunson @trashcanniballecter @marklee-blackmore @dragonmama76 @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie @sllooney @starman-jpg @oxidantdreamboat @xxbottlecapx @chaosgremlinmunson @newtstabber @tiny-enthusiast @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper @y4r3luv @hello-fellow-nerds @anonymousbandgirl @alyelf @potato-of-the-lord @beckkthewreck @greatwerewolfbeliever @croatoan-like-its-hot @pluto-pepsi

[geopsych]

re: the tumblr ai stuff, please don’t wipe your blog!! your blog has been so important to me and many others as a place of authentic light and beauty and i would hate to lose it forever 💕

there is a way to download the contents of a tumblr blog (it’s in settings, i don’t remember rn, but i’ll find it if you need it) maybe you could upload to another site or a personal site?

i know this is very serious, and i hate how we are unwillingly contributing to synthetic art, but the world would be poorer for me without your pictures <3

Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me.

This is a dilemma for me. I have loved doing this blog and going out to look for pictures and interesting things to bring here has given me motivation and meaning through years of struggle with depression and several kinds of grief. Going out to look for pictures has put me in situations where I have seen incredible beauty, much of which I never really managed to capture. Also, the many warm and kind messages I've received from people all over the world have given me heart and made me feel less meaningless as a person and more connected. Sometimes I've been criticized for buying the checkmarks and giving money to Tumblr but I wanted to do what I could because Tumblr has been my one happy and safe place online. But now this. To me AI in relation to creativity is just a way for well-to-do but untalented people, the proverbial tech bros, to profit from other people's hard work and creativity. It has no redeeming value in relation to creativity and is actively harmful to artists of all kinds. <trying to figure out how to put a read more link here> I don't even count myself among the real creatives, artists and writers and others who have worked hard and put years into honing their crafts, into learning to translate their hearts and unique spirits into their creative expression. I just see beautiful things and take pictures of them. But it would still make me sick to see AI works based on my pictures, on these times and places that have meant so much to me. Recently I saw a set of cat 'photos' on here that everyone was reblogging and exclaiming over but that to me seemed to just be AI art that was more convincing than most. As time goes on more and more output of AI is going to be almost indistinguishable from real works and unscrupulous people will pass them off as real, getting credit for what was actually created by others. Whether they profit from them becomes almost irrelevant at that point because what's worse is that we will have less and less sense of what is real. And as some have pointed out AI will now also be scraping from AI, muddying the waters further from here on in. This is an apocalypse of sorts, an apocalypse of creativity, ultimately likely to kill the joy of artistic endeavor for many who would otherwise produced brilliant, beautiful, funny, and/or shockingly original things. I'm still parsing and dissecting my thoughts and feelings about what Tumblr has done and how to react. Staying and leaving my blog up feels like consent. I am not confident in the integrity of anyone connected with scraping sites for AI. I'm not convinced that a little toggle in settings is going to make much of a difference in the long run. On the other hand I like posting here and I have received enough messages over the years to know that my blog is a positive influence on some lives. I was looking forward to May and June and posting pictures of the incredible beauty of eastern Pennsylvania in those months. And I was planning on making a side blog for posting some poetry I've been working on. It will break my heart to leave.

I haven't decided yet. Believe it or not this whole thing has given me awful physical symptoms. I'll let you know when I decide. Thank you again for your kind and lovely note!

[bun-z-bakery]

what if dogday got into baking? , maybe you could try writing about him learning to baking stuff?

✧. ┊𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝛢𝑤𝑎𝑦

A/N: This was such a cute ask! I hope you enjoy! This ones short but still sweet!^^

Making sure Dogday was out of the kitchen was your top priority during mealtimes. 

You know he means well, but you didn't want to run the risk of him breaking more plates or setting anything on fire… again. 

You sat outside on the grass, enjoying the fresh air and nice breeze on your skin. 

Dogday decided to sleep in, Poppy and Kissy wandered around looking for flowers which meant you had some much needed alone time. 

The sound of pots crashing made you jump to your feet. Quickly you rushed inside and called out for Dogday. 

“I-In here.”

You rush to the kitchen, stopping at the doorway as you take in the mess. 

“Angel, before you get mad-”

You couldn't help but laugh. 

Dogday stares at you with a confused expression and tilts his head. 

As much as you wanted to, you couldn't be mad when he's covered in flour and holding a tiny whisk in his giant hand. 

“Anddd what have you been up to?”

You snort as you get closer and dust some flour off of his nose. 

“Angel I'm sorry, I'll help you clean up…”

He sighs in defeat. 

You noticed he was standing oddly and quickly tickled his sides, making him squirm in the process. 

“Dogday what's this?”

You hold up the baking book you never remembered buying. 

It was slightly sticky from the batter but the pages were still very noticeably new. 

“it gets boring here… And wanted to learn something that might lessen some of your responsibilities…”

He looks like a puppy that's being reprimanded. You couldn't help but chuckle. 

Adorable. 

You thought to yourself. 

“Dogday I'm not mad I'm happy you're trying something new! A $20 book on the other hand-”

“$20?!”

“Tell you what,”

You skim through the pages while he curiously hovers over you. You slam your finger down on the page that had the most delicious looking cake in the photo reference. 

“Make this and if it tastes good then I'll let you off the hook!”

Your proposition seemed to have made him perk up. 

He grabs onto his tail to avoid any more damage to the kitchen. 

“Alright deal! Let me work my magic.”

He points the comically tiny whisk at you and you raise your hands in defeat. 

“Alright alright, I'll be on standby.”

You joke as you leave him to his experiment. 

Throughout his time in the kitchen, the sound of pots and spoons falling and the smell of something burning made you question if letting him bake would lead to a house fire. 

“Sunshine, how's it go-”

You look around the kitchen, your mouth agape. 

“You act like I don't clean up after myself.”

He shakes his head in disbelief with the little faith you had in him. 

The kitchen was almost spotless, impressive was an understatement.

He motions towards the cake he had made and calls out to the others for a taste. 

“Wow it smells great Dogday!”

Poppy exclaims as soon as she and Kissy walk in. 

“It does smell pretty promising!”

You agree before taking a seat at the table. 

Once everyone is served and seated, you begin to inspect the cake. It seemed well made and you were eager to taste it now. 

“Alright on the count of 3!”

You say as you four hold a piece of cake near your mouths. 

“3,2,1!”

“...”

“It's… good?”

Your words instantly shift his mood. 

His tail begins to wag as he continues to eat his slice. 

“Does this mean I can help out in the kitchen?!”

Dogday’s eyes light up. Seeing him heartbroken after such an accomplishment would crush you. 

“Fine, if you can keep the mess to a minimum.”

“Deal!”

A/N: I got my PC back!! this is my first post using my pc and wow is it 10 times easier than on my phone. I've been a bit busy recently but keep sending in requests! I'm still working on a few projects and will post them hopefully soon! If you read this far dont forget to reblog and like <3

[parismemes]

SENTENCE STARTERS FROM EPIC: THE MUSICAL - THE WISDOM SAGA

LEGENDARY

"It's just me, myself and I."

"I'm stuck with your stories, but no clue who you are."

"Come and give me a sign."

"If I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?"

"I know life and fate are scary, but I wanna be legendary."

"There are strangers in our halls."

"It's not much longer we can stall."

"They're getting impatient. Dangerous, too."

"I would fight them if I was half as strong as you."

"Somebody help me!"

"Come and give me the strength."

"Can I do whatever it takes to keep my mom safe?"

"Where is he?"

"Give me a chance. A single opportunity."

"Don't you dare call my mother a tramp!"

"What'cha gonna do about it, champ?"

LITTLE WOLF

"Wanna entertain me?"

"Let's see how you take this."

"You've made your worst mistake here."

"You'll have run out of bones to break when you and I are through."

"I'll teach you all the lessons your daddy never could."

"This cruel world doesn't give out presents just for being good."

"Don't you know it's fight or fly?"

"Run away before you die."

"Need some help?"

"What's going on here?"

"I suggest you fight back."

"Uppercut him. Now."

"Woah, that is so sick!"

"Let's try this again."

"I've no respect for bullies."

"Let's teach this dog a lesson in front of all his kind."

"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined."

"Show them that you've got some bite."

"Don't go down without a fight!"

"...Maybe I pushed you a bit too hard."

"Go back and cry in your corner."

"Tell me why you came to my aid."

WE'LL BE FINE

"I had a friend before, and he was a lot like you."

"Maybe, if I'd made a different call..."

"I don't know who your friend is."

"My time with you's been splendid."

"I got in a fight and I didn't die!"

"I've never felt strong before."

"You're my friend, I couldn't ask for more."

"Maybe it's time that you lend a hand."

"If not his friend, then mine."

"Maybe to fall is to learn one way."

"Maybe it's all gonna turn out great."

"I know we'll be fine."

"I know it's light you'll find."

"You're a good kid."

LOVE IN PARADISE

"Old friend, it's been ten years since I last saw you."

"Let's see where you've been."

"Where did you go?"

"Morning, sleepyhead! You've been resting for a while."

"Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

"I've got all you could want here!"

"Just you and me, my dear."

"Soon into bed we'll climb, and spend our time..."

"I'm not your man."

"I'm what you want."

"From here on out, you're mine."

"Hell no, I could kill you where you stand!"

"Last I checked, goddesses can't die."

"We've got all we could want here."

"No one can come or go."

"I don't belong here!"

"There's something wrong here."

"Time can take a heavy toll."

"All I hear are screams."

"Get away from the ledge."

"You don't know what I've gone through."

"You don't know what I've sacrificed."

"Come back inside, dear."

"Let me close my eyes."

"I'll stay inside your heart."

"Life would be so much worse if you had died."

"Stay in my open arms."

"He needs my help."

GOD GAMES

"Rarely do I ask for favors."

"Divine intervention; is that what you seek?"

"You're playing with thunder for a man full of shame."

"Why not make it a game?"

"Bring it."

"We all know I'm a fan of catchy songs."

"All he did was reimburse them."

"Trust is not given, it's forged."

"Why should I give him my support?"

"If you make the right decision, he can still build a future with those who miss him."

"He was busy fighting."

"Let him feel the pain that his mother felt and rot."

"Please reconsider this!"

"Really, ___, these old tricks?"

"What kind of sick coward holds back his power?"

"Tell your lover that a broken heart can mend!"

"To get back to his homestead, he'll make everybody bleed."

"He's got the mind of a genius."

"I've played your game and won!"

"You dare to defy me?"

"No one beats me."

"Bring her through the wringer."

"Is she dead?"

"Let him go, please!"

[newtonsheffield]

Recently learned the term "Golden Slam" in reference to a player who has won all four major titles, as well as an Olympic gold in the same year. I'm guessing Kate is teed up for such a victory? She would be in a rare group of three other women... including Graf in 1988 (and no one since). 👀

Oh for sure.

That’s the question everyone’s asking in the lead up to the US Open. Kate Sharma’s in the best form of her already impressive career. She’s won the Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, and not one but two gold medals. All she needs is to win the US Open and it’s done. She’s the defending Champion there and everyone’s talking about it. She’s asked again and Again about it in the lead up, and her answer’s always the same.

“Of course, that would be an incredible end to our season. My team and I have really worked hard this year, we’ve made a lot of changes to the way we do things and we’ve been seeing good results, obviously. But… that’s not really what we’re focused on coming into the tournament. I’m just focused on playing the best tennis I can.”

“Any winter plans after the WTA finals?”

“Yeah,” Kate laughed, “I’m going to sleep in and block my Mum’s calls for a few days. Bless her.”

Outwardly she’s pretending she doesn’t care. Of course she is, that’s who she is. But when she’s alone with Anthony in their hotel room of course it matters. Her head cushioned against his chest.

“I really want to do it.”

Anthony nodded, his fingers making soothing circles against the skin of her back. “You know you can still be the best without it right? You don’t have anything to prove to anyone.”

That was one of the things she loved about Anthony. His firm belief that everything she did should be for her. What other people said didn’t matter. It wasn’t wasting a gift if she didn’t win everything. Mary had tried to tell her the same so many times but it had been a lesson she had to learn for herself.

“I know. But I still want to win.”

Anthony’s chuckle vibrated through her. “Of course you do. We’re competitive monsters.”

“Our children are going to be wild.”

“Thinking about my babies? Calm down Sharma.”

Kate can hardly believe it when her opponent hits the ball and it lands in the net and the tension breaks and the crowd roars. Her racquet fell to the ground in surprise and tears stung at her eyes as she stepped forward to shake hands with the other woman and then the umpire.

Then she takes off running, climbing into the stands to the box where her family’s waiting for her. Tears are running down her face by the time she wraps her arms around Mary, then Edwina and finally Anthony who spins her around while the crowd roars.

“Go take a bow.”

It’s the first question she gets asked when she returns to centre court, a golden slam, how does that feel?

“Honestly, yeah it feels incredible. But, I didn’t do this by myself. Obviously my Mum, she nearly did this in the final year she was on the tour and I wanted to do this for the two of us. My sister who grumbles about filling in as my hitter but I don’t think a lot of people realise that at Wimbledon last year I was probably in the worst headspace of my life. I… genuinely don’t know if I’d still be playing tennis if I hadn’t met Anthony. He’s been a huge part of my success this year and I know he’d disagree with me but this success is his as well. I love you, let’s blow off work and go on holiday.”

The crowd roared with laughter and the season’s not done yet, but it feels done. For her it feels done. One of the greatest there ever was at 23, with years still to come in her career.

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

The Jar

Summer of Bad Batch | Week 5 | Prompts: "You're a bad liar" and "Need a hand?"

Summary: After being rescued from Skako Minor and joining Clone Force 99, Echo is still getting used to his modifications.

POV: Echo

Rating: PG

(Word Count: 784)

Read on Ao3

Echo stared at the vacuum-sealed jar of rations with narrowed eyes.

I WILL figure out a way to open you myself, he silently vowed to the small metal container sitting innocuously before him.

Usually the squad had boxes of rations - those were easy to open with one hand - but they had learned the hard way on this assignment that some of the wildlife here on Yrzac were also capable of breaking into the ration boxes, and therefore the sealed jars of food were necessary.

Echo hadn't wanted to admit he didn't know how he'd be able to manage opening the container, just like he'd refused to admit he was still having difficulty negotiating the rocky terrain and climbing with his prosthetic legs, just like he hadn't said a word about the fact the cybernetic implants that had been bored through his skull into his brain were still giving him excruciating headaches despite the med droids' assurances that the pain would dissipate eventually. He'd only been with Clone Force 99 for two weeks. He was NOT going to be a burden, be dead weight, ask for help with simple tasks like getting his own food. He would admit to nothing.

So he had taken the rations jar Wrecker had handed him in the morning, then had claimed he wasn't hungry and he'd eat later. And when Tech had taken watch as the others settled to sleep in the stone ruins where they'd set up camp for the night, Echo had snuck around the corner of one of the crumbling walls and stared at the sealed container, considering his dilemma.

He had tried bracing the jar between his knees to break the seal and unscrew the lid, but the metal jar against metal prosthetics proved too slippery. Same with wedging the jar under his right arm. Using his teeth would do nothing. For a wild moment, he considered throwing the jar against the ground - to release his frustration as much as to see if denting the jar would help - but no, that would be too loud...

"Need a hand?" a soft low voice sounded over his head.

Echo didn't jump, but he had to confess he was slightly startled as he turned to look up at Hunter.

"What?" he stammered. "What, no, I'm fine, I..."

Hunter crossed his arms and blinked at him, the light of the moons falling full on his face and clearly showing he was unimpressed by Echo's protests. "No, you're NOT fine; but if you say it again, I might actually leave you here to struggle with that kriffing impossible jar."

Echo sighed in defeat. "I want to be able to do it myself."

"And you will, just not tonight," Hunter said, holding his hand out for the container. Echo handed it over and Hunter, gripping it tightly in both hands and straining to open it, added, "You've had to adjust to a lot in the past few days, Echo. And you're doing great - better, I think, than anyone else would be able to do. It might take some time to figure out how to do things like open a jar with one hand, but you'll get there. You're an ARC trooper, after all." The lid unsealed with a quiet schhh-lok and Hunter finished unscrewing it before handing the open jar back to Echo. "In the meantime, maybe let your brothers help you every once in a while?"

"Thanks," Echo murmured as he took the jar, hesitating slightly before adding, "And, you know, not just for this," indicating the rations.

Hunter nodded, turning away and taking a few steps back to the campsite before stopping and looking back over his shoulder.

"Oh, and maybe let Tech take a look at your prosthetics? You looked like a newborn shaak trying to find its feet when we were running up that rocky hill today. Tech wouldn't stop going on and on with me about calibration and leverage and friction coefficients or... something, and I'm pretty sure he was referring to your legs."

Smiling ruefully, Echo nodded - of course the squad had noticed his difficulty, he had been foolish to try to hide it from them; but he appreciated that they hadn't mentioned anything to him at the time, for that would have been mortifying. "Yes, sir," he replied; and with this promise, Hunter left him to eat in peace.

He hadn't realized just how hungry he was until he took his first bite of biscuit... He had never been a big eater, but now he finished his day's rations in record time and leaned back against the wall with a contented sigh.

And with his hunger satiated, he suddenly noticed his headache wasn't quite so bad.

@summer-of-bad-batch

[jolapeno]

hello, hi, hola ✨

JO'S PSA ANNOUNCEMENT

and a little explanation. so I hope you’ll forgive me for taking up your time (especially after celebrating non stop). and I know only a bit ago I moved hope they caught us to a two-weekly upload, but I’m actually going to put it on a hiatus.

this wasn't something i found easy, but i'm trying to learn from 2023 jo and if any of you were here then, you know i slowly burnt out forcing myself to do something.

[more info under the cut 💁‍♀️ (if interested)]

I still like the story, and I still love my plan—but I’m struggling to execute it. it's making me feel stressed, and I don’t want to force myself to put something out I’m not happy with, or come to regret either.

and there has always been something about the story that made me nervous? at first, I thought it was because it was new, and it would go away, but honestly, it kinda didn’t? and so i pushed on because I've loved what I had already put out.

so then, I thought maybe that’s just me? maybe I’m running out of ideas or thinking too deeply?

and then I wrote in my room (the javi one shot) and began to write 'do me yourself' (which was meant to be a one shot) and realised that isn't the case at all. if anything, it kinda showed me that I’m trying to force a square into a rectangle hole — and while it does fit, it’s not fitting as well as it could.

I thought the break between chapters (because of DMY) would help, but if anything, it’s made that feeling I have stand out even more.

so, I am not abandoning it, but more, taking longer to work on it when I want to — and without the pressure.

i can now spend time working through knots and oddities without feeling like i'm letting you all down. so when I do begin posting (whenever that will be) I can be consistent for both you and myself.

for now, I’m going to take this week off from a consistent upload (I’ll likely still drabble, and probably end up doing more than I even should) and Tuesday 20th will be do me yourself — with that becoming the weekly series for a while (the frankie fans rejoice).

if you know me, you know this wasn’t an easy thing to decide, and I know i don't even need to even justify this with a long arse post - like it's on hiatus, big deal? but, i'm anxious. I care a lot, and I care about being consistent and showing up. and so, while I do feel a bit bad, guilty, sad that I’m doing this, i know it's also the right thing.

I hope you can understand, and I hope that you’ll stick around for sunny ✨

[formulapookie]

19 with marcmarc?

19. "What can I do to be enough for you?"

Bez never was particularly confident with himself, and it wasn't even his fault.

It began during middle school, when he used to get teased and joked about because of his way of expressing himself and the great sensitivity he had towards everything.

If he scraped his knee, tripped and fell or simply felt overwhelmed he'd cry, and that got him not a few comments.

"Marco don't you know boys don't cry?"

"But I hurt myself of course I cry"

"Look guys Marco is crying like a girl!"

"But I'm not a girl, I'm just hurt!" "Boys don't cry when they're hurt!"

And obviously since then he had grown mentally, he still cried, but tried to hide it more, that bit to ensure people wouldn't think he was weak for doing it.

And apart from that, Bez has always been a lover. A great one at that.

He always gave his 200% in every little thing in every relationship, no matter how much he had been together with his current partner.

His partner mentioned liking a certain type of flower on the first date or while talking on chat?

He would show up the date after with a bouquet with those flowers.

Food? He'd make sure to learn how to cook it or inform himself on where they did it better in the city and have the date there.

Dates, anniversaries, birthdays, he remembers everything.

He feels, no, knows, that if he forgets even one of these things whoever he's with will leave him.

He tries to be perfect, do everything, but they always end up leaving for someone else. Someone prettier, taller, funnier, someone better.

When he and Marc got together, it was unexpected.

They began gravitating closer and closer until collision and after some rough months of not knowing they finally got together for real.

And he still can't believe Marc Marquez is his boyfriend.

Because Marc is MARC, he's so perfect and beautiful and funny and amazing and Bez is, well Bez.

He's got nothing great about him, no one nicknamed him alien, no one was scared of confronting him on track. And Marc had dated Vale. So he had a big competition to relate to.

He tries so so hard to be perfect, each day more, learn about everything Marc loves and hates, understand how to make him relax or make him happy. But it simply doesn't seem to work.

Everything he does, for how perfect it can be, doesn't seem to trill the reaction he wants out of Marc.

He always looks so monotone with his answers and expressions, like Bez is doing the bare minimum, while he's trying so hard for everything.

One day he simply cannot take it anymore, he's already overwhelmed and he's trying to make a good looking Paella for lunch, asking Marc how it is, and all he gets is "yeah it's ok".

It doesn't have to be ok. it has to be perfect.

He knows he's about to cry and can't let Marc see him being so pathetic, so he excuses himself and runs off to the bedroom, breath caught in his throat as a river of tears flows from his eyes to the ground.

It's just a fucking dish but it's too much.

Why can't he do anything right for Marc?

What does he have to do?

Does he have to be someone else?

Does he have to be Valentino?

He's sobbing too loud, and only realizes when Marc basically breaks open the door to the bedroom.

"Marco are you ok? I heard you crying. Are you hurt? Do I need to call someone?"

"No no no I am ok sorry I'm coming back just - I'm sorry I ruined everything Marc so so sorry"

"Marco calm down, what's going on?"

"I don't understand"

"What don't you understand? tell me I want to help you"

"What am I doing wrong? Am I saying the wrong things? Am I acting the wrong way? Do I- do I have to be more like Vale? I can't understand what's wrong Marc. 

What can I do to be enough for you?"

Marc is frozen, because that's a lot, and Marco seems to be on the edge of a mental breakdown, and he doesn't know if he's capable of helping him.

He can just try and reassure him.

"Marco listen to me, can you hear me?"

Bez nods, his tears not hinting to a stop.

"You aren't - God I can't believe I have to say it - you aren't doing anything wrong, all the opposite of wrong! You are being so caring and so perfect. Why would you think you’re doing or saying something wrong? There’s absolutely nothing wrong in what you’re doing corazon, not in the slightest. And what - what has Valentino got to do with us? Marco Valentino is something I managed to bury in the past thanks to you, I’d never want you to be like him. He was - he was not what I needed, he was infatuation, you are not, you have to be you, never someone else.

You are enough already Marco, why would you ever think you’re not? You’re enough and so much more.

I neve had someone bring me peonies cause I mentioned once while talking about other things I liked them a lot and they remembered”

Bez can’t understand this shift in attitude. Marc is always somewhat distant and cold, with him like with everyone else.

“You don’t look like I do enough Marc. You always seem so distant from me, from what I do, from what I say and then I see how you were with Vale, how warm you were with him, how you laughed at everything he said, even the stupid jokes who weren’t funny, how you always looked for physical touch and how you gave it so openly and I want it to be like that for us but you just - you are just so cold.

If I try to hug you you flinch, you never initiate physical contact, you barely laugh at my jokes, I - I asked for the recipe to that Paella to your mother to make it look like home to you and you said it was ‘ok’ and I simply don’t understand why. Why were you so alive with him and with me the light in your eyes seems dead? I know I’m not the great world champion but I’m trying so hard, and I love the sport and I also love you and neither you nor the sport seem to love me back.

I didn’t think I ever had a chance with you to begin with, so I would understand if you want to walk away. If you want to break up I get it. I don’t expect you to keep me around”

Marc is sitting on the floor in front of Bez, looking at his boyfriend looking absolutely broken and desperate for an answer and his heart clenches.

He sees the pain, the doubt, the insecurity rise in his eyes and it hurts.

In a split second he’s next to him, hugging him tightly, like he probably only hugged Alex before in his life, he stays there, an embrace that doesn’t solve anything, Marc knows, but to Bez is the last drop.

He cries again, a lot, soaking Marc’s shirt, he can’t seem to stop, not when Marc keeps holding him so tight.

Once he’s calmed down, almost ten minutes later, he is a mess.

“Marco, I don't even know where to begin from. Valentino was something else entirely, he was my idol growing up, I grew up watching him win and triumph, we started whatever that was when I was 20 and I was a much different person you’re right. I was warm and innocent and under this spell Valentino had on me. It wasn’t love, it was adoration. That’s why I was like that, I wanted to be noticed, wanted to be seen, wanted to be considered.

The warmth it- I changed a lot. I had crashes, accidents, I had my heart broken, I got thrown to the media like a sheep to a pack of wolves when I was your age and it changed me. I don’t feel like I can be anything but cold and distant because I fear so much it’ll end up like with him.

And rationally I know you aren’t like him, but my head, it just- it works like that, I don’t feel like I can allow myself to be vulnerable because last time I did I was left so wounded I didn’t think I would’ve ever been able to be back on my feet.

The hugs Marco, it’s complicated. I love your hugs, really, but you need to understand something. During the last period of me and Valentino being what we where he got - not violent, never that - cruel. His touch was bruising, I felt it on me after hours, I couldn’t wash off that sensation of being dirty. It felt like every little touch he gave me, every hug was never just that, it was always leading to something he wanted from me.

And when you hug me so suddenly my brain runs back to when he grabbed me after races or podiums to go and have a quickie in some godforsaken corner of the track and it’s not that I didn’t like them but sometimes I just wanted tenderness and there wasn’t any. I know you’re different, I know, but he damaged me, and I don’t want you to be the one to repair me, because it’s a lot of fucking work and I want to do it myself, you don’t deserve the mess I am.

I should be the one to understand if you want to break up, because I’m a lot, and because I don’t treat you right. I love you Marco, never doubt that, I love you, and I’m sure the sport will love you back, because I know you’re giving it your all, it’ll come, it will love you back”

Bez now doesn’t cry anymore, he just feels a great impulse to hug Marc tight to let him know he’s there for him, but after what he just said he can’t.

“It’s not that I don’t want your hugs, but if you ask me before, or just let me know about it I won’t flinch like that”

“Can I hug you then? You look like you need it”

“Yeah, you can”

He wraps his arms around Marc, not like Marc did with him before, this is much softer, he lets Marc have his space while being also surrounded by Marco’s warmth.

“I’m sorry for what you went through with Vale. It’s not right. I’m also sorry for everything I said about you back then, about Valencia last year I’m sorry”

“Marco you have nothing to apologize for, you grew up with an idol, you followed what he said, it’s pretty normal to do, and you have managed to be different so there’s nothing to be sorry for ok?”

“Ok”

“And I’m not going anywhere, I’m not leaving you now that I found stability in my life. And I’m never going to let you think you’re not enough ever again, I am the one who’s sorry for acting like that. I promise for you I’ll be different”

“I love you”

Marc smiles, this time is genuine, Bez can see it in the way his eyes glint with that something he tried to reach for.

“I love you too”

They kiss, a slow and gentle kiss, just to say to the other “I’m here, and you can trust me”

“And that Paella was really good, not just ‘ok’, didn’t mean to be an  asshole”

“Next time would you prepare it with me?”

“Of course corazòn, of course”

ANGSTY/ HURT COMFORT PROMPTS

[ghostlykeyes]

Hello. I like your Heartsteel writings c: I just got my wisdom tooth removed today so can I ask a hc or anything for Aphelios taking care of an s/o? 😊

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HEARTSTEEL APHELIOS / SICK READER ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ No TW's ♡ Quick note that I don't usually write for Aphelios (requests aren't open for him) but who am I to turn away a recovering patient??? (Hope you're feeling better/healing well my dear!)

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APHELIOS

When it comes to taking care of a recovering partner, Aphelios has learned from the best. He thinks back to the last time he had the flu and uses Alune's three-day-nurse-stint as a blueprint. Whatever you need, he's ready to silently offer it. Cold cloth for your head? Done. Pain meds? He's got your dosages measured out and your favorite drink on hand to wash it down. Cuddles? Don't even mention it. He's already in bed, cocooning you both in fresh-washed blankets still warm from the dryer. And, if worst comes to worst and one of your requests stumps him, he can always text his sister to come in as backup.

Aphelios doesn't cook often, but when you're bedridden and in need of a good, comforting meal he comes in clutch. He makes a mean galbitang, and he'll even spoon-feed it to you if you give him your best puppy eyes and whine, "pleeeeeeeease, Phel, I'm too weak to eat by myself." (Not without an affectionate eye-roll, of course.) Besides that, he makes sure the freezer is well-stocked with popsicles and other cold, easy-to-digest food that will soothe you. Making sure Sett and Kayn don't eat it all, well, that's another issue entirely...

Aphelios hates to let a good prank opportunity go to waste, but if you're sick or recovering? You're safe. He wouldn't dream of harassing you while you're feeling less than your best (even if it's all in good fun). Expect to be teased extra when you are feeling better, though!

Keeping you clean and comfortable is a top priority for Aphelios. One of his most-hated things about being stuck in bed is how quickly he starts to feel grimy, so he's sure to help keep up on your hygiene routine. If you're up for it, Aphelios runs you a warm bath. He helps you out of your pajamas and eases you into the bathwater. While you're relaxing in the tub he takes care of your hair for you. Gently, he works a generous handful of shampoo into your scalp, massaging soothing circles against your skin as he goes. He hums, sometimes. A rare treat he gives when his vocal chords aren't as painful. This alone relaxes you more than any bath ever could (though of course, you aren't complaining about that part). Whatever your regular routine is, he'll see to it—face masks, body scrubs, he'll even shave your armpits for you if you ask. When you're ready to get out, he has a warm towel ready for you (what a wonder ten minutes in the dryer can do). Aphelios has fresh clothes on standby, too. He really does think of everything, and he doesn't let you back into bed until you feel fresh and rejuvenated.

While you're recovering, Aphelios strings together a few soothing instrumentals to help you relax. It's nothing fancy, just a simple beat to break the silence and lull you to sleep.

Aphelios isn't known for going easy on his gaming rivals. That completely disappears when you, bored out of your mind and desperate for something to do, challenge him to Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat. Kicking your ass while you're already down doesn't sit right with him, so he lets you bag a few wins. That stunning smile when you beat him, like you can't believe your luck, makes it all worth it. Fuck, that smile makes his knees weak.

Normally Aphelios can be a bit stingy with his cuddles. He just isn't overly physically affectionate. But if you need extra love? Say no more. He's glued to your side, snuggling you like it's his job. Your limbs are tangled together, your head finds a permanent pillow on his chest, and your bodies share a comforting heat. He will never tell you no if you're not feeling well, especially if you need more attention.

Aphelios sends you tons of memes throughout the day as-is, but if you're recovering from something? He's practically blowing up your phone. If you don't mute your notifications you will never know peace. Mainly, it's because he doesn't want you getting bored. He's also thinking about you a little bit extra, though, and what better way to express that than through a string of unhinged Tik-Toks?

[drippingmoon]

Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂

I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:

(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k 

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me. 

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots. 

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly. 

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.

[inspirationalucky]

EPIC: THE WISDOM SAGA PROMPTS & STARTERS.

of course, go ahead and change names/pronouns/etc as necessary to fit your muse or the situation! please do not add more lines/prompts to this post!

Legendary

"It's just me, myself, and I stuck in my bedroom"

"I'm dreaming of all these monsters that I'll never get to fight!"

"I wish I could, so I could bring the world some light!"

"I'm stuck with your stories, but no clue who you are"

"If I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?"

"I know life and fate are scary, but I wanna be legendary"

"They keep taking space, and there's not much longer we can stall."

"They're getting impatient. Dangerous, too."

"I would fight them if I was half as strong as you."

"Can I do whatever it takes to keep my mom safe?"

"It's been twenty years, and we still have no king."

"Give me a chance, a single opportunity, and I'll overcome these obstacles and scrutiny"

"Don't you dare call my mother a tramp!"

"I just did. Whatchu gonna do about it, champ?"

"If I fight this monster, is it you I'll find?"

Little Wolf

"Wanna entertain me?"

"Let's see how you take this."

"Wanna be a man? Then fight."

"You've made your worst mistake here. Might be your last one, too"

"You'll have run out of bones to break when you and I are through"

"I'll teach you all the lessons your daddy never could"

"This cruel world doesn't give out presents just for being good"

"Run away before you die"

"Is your plan to stand around? ‘Cause I suggest you fight back"

"Uppercut him. Now."

"Woah. How did I do that?”

"Is time now moving slow?"

"Woah, this is so sick!"

"Alright, now. Let’s try this again"

"I've no respect for bullies, those who impose their will"

"I've seen plenty enough to truly understand this kind of filth"

"Let's teach this dog a lesson in front of all his kind"

"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined"

"Show them that you've got some bite"

"Take advantage now and strike."

"Don't go down without a fight!"

"Ooooh, maybe I pushed a bit too hard..."

"Go back and cry in your corner. Make sure your mother hears."

"Tell me, [ Athena ], why you came to my aid?"

We'll Be Fine

"I had a friend before and he was a lot like you"

"I helped him fight through war"

"He had his demons too"

"Then we grew apart, then his light went dark"

"Maybe if I'd made a different call, maybe he'd be fine"

"Maybe if I hadn't missed it all, maybe he'd be fine"

"Maybe if I helped another soul, I could sleep at night"

"I don't know who your friend is. I don't know what he's like."

"My time with you has been splendid. The best day of my life!"

"I got in a fight and I didn't die! I've never felt strong before!"

"You're my friend, I couldn't ask for more"

"Maybe it's time that you lend a hand. I don't think he'll mind"

"Maybe to fall is to learn one way"

"Maybe it's all gonna turn out great"

"I know we'll be fine"

"I know it's light you'll find."

"You're a good kid"

Love in Paradise

"Old friend, it's been ten years since I last saw you."

"Let's see where you've been."

"[ Odysseus ], where did you go?"

"Morning sleepyhead, you've been resting for a while"

"I swore that you were dead when you washed up on my isle"

"Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

"Anyways, I've got all you could want here & all you could need here."

"Hello no, I could kill you where you stand!"

"I'm no pet! I'm a married man!"

"You may try, but last I checked, goddesses can't die"

"You're adorable! Bow down, now, to the immortal [ Calypso ]"

"But fear not, I bring no pain"

"We've got all we could want here"

"Under my spell, we're stuck in paradise"

"No one can come or go, my island stays unknown"

"No, no! I don't belong here, there's something wrong here!"

"I won't be drawn to love in paradise!"

"Seven years she's kept you trapped out of your control... time can take a heavy toll."

"You don't know what I've gone through! You don't know what I've sacrificed"

"Every comrade I long knew, every friend... I saw them die, and all I hear are screams"

"It will be fine, dear. Come back inside"

"I know your life's been hard, I'll stay inside your heart"

"Life would be so much worse if you had died"

"Please, stay away from harm. Stay in my open arms"

"He needs my help."

God Games

"Father, rarely do I ask for favors..."

"Divine intervention? Is that what you seek?"

"You are playing with thunder for a man full of shame"

"But if he's worth the risk of going under, why not make it a game?"

"Convince each of them that he ought to be released, and I'll release him"

"You all know I'm a fan of catchy songs!"

“I think [ Ody’s ] in the wrong!”

"They were trying to do him worse, all he did was reimburse them!"

"Now they'll treat with caution first, to live another day and sing another verse"

"Trust is not given, it's forged."

"Why should I give him my support?"

"He sacrificed his own cohort"

"Did you forget they failed to listen?"

"He was betrayed and then imprisoned."

"If you make the right decision he can still build a future with those who miss him"

"Your little high and mighty [ Odysseus ] claims to love his mother, but let her die of a broken heart"

"Let him feel the pain that his mother felt and rot"

"Wait! Please, reconsider this"

"Really, [ Athena ]? These old tricks?"

"What kind of sick coward holds back his power while his friends get devoured?"

“He didn’t even try to kill her!”

"Hold your tongue now, his son's my friend!"

"Tell your lover that a broken heart can mend"

"You want more bloodshed? Then set him free"

"To get back to his homestead he'll make everybody bleed"

"So many heroes, so many tales! Give me one good reason why yours should prevail."

"He's got the mind of a genius"

“He’s pretty skilled with words”

“You can do better than that!”

"He's kinda funny!"

"Never once has he cheated on his wife"

"I've played your game and won. Release him."

"You dare to defy me? To make me feel shame?"

"No one beats me. No one wins my game!"

[sl33py-g4m3r]

Back with an update after a long break~~ (thanks anxiety (sarcasm))

Hopefully I've kicked anxiety's ass for the time being and am now in the swing of things~~

I still hate the map tho a little bit. Didn't realize you could press B to center the map, thank you for the tip~~!! idk why or how I didn't find that out myself.

Woman's Ring quest complete~~!! as well as the gryphon talons because I was grinding a good deal of them before. I missed one moss somewhere and need to go find it, annoyingly enough. and slay ortherus.

You can complete some quests multiple times? Is it worth it tho? Gryphon talons are just "get the talons, go to K's tavern to deliver, get 30 macca (?) each time" might be worth if you're grinding at the entrance for whatever reason... idk. what do you do with gryphon talons or fu xi feathers anyway? tried to sell them at B's i think and they didn't appear there.

I wonder if I'm overleveled a little bit? The disaster horde or whatever I fought for the ring chest went down with a zan from flynn, a bufu from centaur, bouncing claw from gryphon, and a grahm slice from lahm derg... it hit me once...

I can fuse now and it's probably a good idea; but I've kind of grown attatched a bit to the demons I have... but they also have all of the skills they'll ever know now anyway I think.... could be wrong. but I think you get the "demon whisper" when they've learned all possible skills? so despite growing attatched to them, time to fuse them into other demons?

Update on skills and roster:

Flynn - lvl 7 - still upping primarily magic, luck, agility - still bufu, zan, critical wave

Centaur - lvl 6 - bufu, needle shot

Gryphon (new!) - lvl 5 - bouncing claw, lunge

Lham Dearg (?) - lvl 5 - grahm slice, critical wave

Fu Xi - lvl 5 - zan, patra

Napaea - lvl 4 - dia, dream needle

Myrmecolion (? new!) - lvl 3 - patra

Mokoi (new!) - lvl 2 - zio

tried to use mokoi's zio on a chagrin, immediate death for mokoi. also tried to recruit a chagrin many times..... nope. it's mokoi all over again~~

hooray~~!!

Progress~~!!

Now what? fuse to see what that's all about, hunt for moss, defeat ortherus and continue on?

I hope that if I take a break from this game for a little bit, that break isn't another entire month. getting in the swing of things and hadn't seen Charon this entire time. Almost died but then thanks to napaea's dia, survived.

(gets comfortable, has an SMT moment)

I put gryphon in front instead of Fu Xi because gryphon nulls zan and is weak to the same thing as Fu Xi anyway... also more HP. so only had flynn be zan during that fight.... Still won but makes me worried I spent too much time being afraid because (idk how to read the map (keyboard smash and yelling for help) and stayed by the door grinding for a good bit. as per my last update on how the play through was going.

Is still fun and the music slaps~~!! glad I got into SMT through the music.

I've done some stuff~~ Break time to decide whether I want to fuse demons, and how. just yolo and see what happens? or have certain ones in mind with certain skills?

Then I'd have to recruit everyone again T_T;;

It's not pokemon, don't get attached to your demons, they're nothing but fusion fodder for stronger demons...

I'm attached anyway.

there begs the question~~! trying a challenge run so to speak? where I only use demons of a certain alignment? might be law cause I'm probably going to the law path anyway if I'm being honest with myself....

finally getting somewhere~~! Finally getting comfortable with navigation~~!! Finally get demon fusion app~~!!

break time~~! hopefully for a lot less long than before~~!!

I wanna punch navarre~~~ casting false aspersions of the poor~~~ feel like he's making fun of myself irl cause I am actually poor irl, lol.

proud of myself for this too~~!! get zan anxiety~~!! let fun things be fun~~!!

(new!) demons are new ones that I've acuired through fusion or negotiation; negotiations at this point because I didn't have access to fusion when I got them.

It baffles me how demon negotiations go sometimes. give stuff, say a thing that makes them not attack you, or try again later, give them stuff, don't like giving macca, and I usually refuse after 2 things. sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

like was it gryphon? idk.. someone told me to dig with 3 dig options, i chcose the middle one, got a life stone, then promptly gave it back, and they became my ally? what?

same thing sort of with mokoi with the (I'm waiting for someone) and they're like "I'm the person you were waiting for" becomes ally. ?????

???????????

you bet your sweet macca that I saved after those, baby~~!!

good things can happen in this game???

update cause I dug through my posts and the last update was June 18th. the break wasn't a month long. I thought it was, lol.

[alexendria-rose]

Evermore~

Sherlock Holmes X Reader

Warnings: sad times, cussing

I was the one who had it all I was the master of my fate I never needed anybody in my life I learned the truth too late I'll never shake away the pain I close my eyes but she's still there I let her steal into my melancholy heart It's more than I can bear

He knew letting her in his life was a bad idea, he knew falling in love with her was his biggest weakness. Looking at her from afar seeing her having a coffee from the sidelines as it poured outside, seeing her smile and laugh with someone other then him made his stomach churn in ways he didn't think were possible. He didn't understand this feeling, he never needed anyone, he was content by himself, but maybe he was wrong. Just maybe... he felt his heart drop as he saw the love of his life kiss someone else in front of him. He knew he let her go... all because of his selfish reasons all because he lied to her that he could never fall in love knowing that he was really protecting her from more pain

Now I know she'll never leave me Even as she runs away She will still torment me Calm me, hurt me Move me, come what may

"Sherlock why are you doing this!" She cried loudly as his back was turned not daring to lock eyes with her.

"I don't have friends, just like I don't do relationships. This was a joke Y/n..." He whispered softly. Y/n tears were rolling down her face, fist clumped together as she stared at the man she stupidly fell in love with.

"You're lying to me and yourself. Why are you doing this!" She shouted the tears just coming down her cheeks faster. Sherlock cleared his throat... he had to have her disconnect from him because he knew what he was going to have to do was going to hurt her more.

"Y/n you were just an experiment and its done, I cannot continue to be in this thing called "love" because I'm not someone who is loved. You need to understand." He says his face and tone monotone as he stared at her. Her lip trembled as she looked at him wiping her tears as she grabbed her coat.

"I never want to see you again." Her last words were before she exited the flat, his legs gave out as soon as she left the flat. And he kept to her word... she would never see him again.

His hand shock when he thought of the memory of the last time he saw her, knowing breaking her heart before he jumped off that building would save her and here she was with another man in love with her life, happy just the way he hoped, it didn't mean he didn't hurt. He's learned a lot since he's been away for two years, how much he missed her, how much he missed not being lonely and now he had to deal with the consequences of his own actions of pushing away the people he loved the most.

Wasting in my lonely tower Waiting by an open door I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in And be with me for evermore

Sherlock stood by his window closing his eyes as he played the melody of what he was feeling in that moment on his violin. His melody was full of heart break, full of loneliness and regret. He hasn't told anyone but Mrs. Hudson that he was back, he couldn't bare seeing the betrayal from the ones he left to fend for themselves. He was so immersed with his playing he didn't hear the sound of the door opening but he did hear the sound of glass dropping which immediately made him stop his playing turning around to the source of the noise, his eyes widening at the beautiful eyes looking into his.

"Y/n.." He whispers softly his eyes darting over her features. Her face looked like she just saw a ghost. Sherlock slowly puts the violin down as he makes his way towards her.

"You're dead, you're supposed to be dead." She whispered softly his eyes darting towards the broken cup that sat next to her feet.

"I'm not, it was all fake. I had to take down moriarty's network. I had to protect you." He mumbles softly making his way towards her, but she just stepped back not allowing herself to get close to him.

"No no this can't be happening..." She says her eyes not believing that he was actually in front of her. He reaches up and grabs her hand to tell her that this was indeed happening. Her eyes snap down to their hands, her hand trembling in his.

"Y/n I'm here, I promise. I came back for you." Sherlock says his voice wavering just slightly. She drops his hand and scoffs.

"Came back for me? I needed you two years ago!" She sobs turning her back to him, her hands gripping her hair. "Two. Bloody. Years. You made me believe awful things about you. You said I was an experiment, someone you could just toy with until you had your fix of me." She whips her head towards him, her eyes red from anger and sadness. Sherlock heart dropped at the sight of her, he never wanted this to happen.

I rage against the trials of love I curse the fading of the light Though she's already flown so far beyond my reach She's never out of sight

He never wanted to fall so deep for her, for her touch but right now he just wanted to hold her, he craved her touch and warmth, but for some reason she was still so far from him, out of sight from him even though she was right here staring at him with those sad eyes, but also full of anger.

"Y/n I did it, so you could live your life without me... I didn't want you to miss me, to love me when I had to go." He said his eyes pleading with her. She shook her head and a dry laugh escaping her lips.

"I still did asshole! I mourned for you, I talked to your stupid gravestone." She started pacing the flat her arms crossed. "I loved you Sherlock, you hurt me, you broke me, but knowing you died.. you took a piece of me with you and knowing you didn't love me back, knowing I was just a game." Sherlock rushes up to her grabbing her shoulders.

"Fuckin hell Y/n I loved you, I still love you, you're all I think about. All I wanted when I was away. You weren't an experiment-"

"I'm engaged Sherlock." She whispered softly her eyes glossing with tears. His breath hitches hearing those words he was absolutely dreading to hear. "It's two years too late." She mumbled backing away from his touch. "I have to go, I came to visit Mrs. Hudson. I can't do this Sherlock." She turns away, the glass crunching under her shoes as she walked out the door in front of him.

Now I know she'll never leave me Even as she fades from view She will still inspire me Be a part of everything I do Wasting in my lonely tower Waiting by an open door

Sherlock stared at the open door in front of him watching her shadow fade away as she was completely out of his reach. His heart dropped, knowing he will never get her back because of what he did to her. Knowing what he knew now he wished he could go back in time and do everything differently.

I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in And as the long, long nights begin I'll think of all that might have been Waiting here for evermore

Later that night Sherlock sat on his chair his eyes never leaving the door as he idly played with his violin trying to distract himself that she will never come back, that she'll never love him the same way she used to. She was gone in an instant and even though it hurt the last time, it hit him harder this time. Knowing someone else had her heart. The door opens, his heart swelling but soon realizing it was Mrs. Hudson his heart dropped but he still smiled at the little woman.

"I've brought you some tea dear," Mrs. Hudson says with a small sad smile walking over handing him the tea before sitting on Johns old chair. "I'm assuming Y/n now knows you've been alive this whole time?"

"Assume, you mean you were eavesdropping," Sherlock says his face blank with emotions as he sipped his tea.

"I am the landlady I have a right to know." She grinned, Sherlock letting out a little chuckle.

"Ah there's a smile." She says staring at the man in front of her who she could tell was in a lot of pain, "You know dear, love comes in different forms. She'll come around, I promise." Sherlock shakes his head taking another sip before setting his tea down.

"She's engaged, it's never going to happen." He murmured his eyes looking anywhere but his landlady's eyes knowing he will break his emotional wall if he dared looked at her.

"Well you'll never know my dear. Now get some rest." She whispered softly before standing up and exiting out of the flat. Sherlock watched as she leaved his eyes back on the closed door, he rests his head back on the couch his hands resting on his face. He hears to door open again groaning,

"Mrs. Hudson really I'm fin-" He looks at the woman in front of him, his heart beating against his chest. Her clothes drenched in water, her hair stuck to her head as she was dripping from head to toe and her eyes red from crying.

"I can't marry him." Y/n whispered her hands balled up in firsts as her arms laid flat against her sides. Sherlock stands up from his chair walking over to her slowly, noting this time she wasn't walking backwards away from him.

"Why?" He whispered gently his body getting closer to hers. She sighs softly her eyes moving to her shoes back to his gaze.

"Because, I cannot marry someone that isn't you." Her eyes never wavering from his. His body is mere inches away from hers as he looks down at the woman in front of him.

"Good because I couldn't let you be with someone who wasn't me." He whispered before grabbing the sides of her face smashing his lips against hers, their mouths moving in need and passion. Her hands move up to his curls bringing his head closer to hers. He groans against her mouth moving his hands down to his hips. They both needed each other in that moment, afraid if they both pull away this moment would be gone forever, and for the rest of that night they did not leave each others embrace knowing they both needed each other and also needed to make up from those two years lost.