#i'm thinking about potentially making an additional personal tag

[halfdeadwallfly]

i finally did my dishes after a week, and i was like,, ok,,, i'm gonna fold the laundry now too (it's been four days since i washed it). but to do that, i have to make my bed (it's the only big enough flat surface i have in my dorm). and now i'm halfway through making my bed, and all of a sudden, it's like,, oh my god... why am i doing this there's so much more i have to do i've wasted the whole night and i still have to sort out all my blankets and stuff and then fold the laundry and then heat up dinner and it's all sooooo sadgojhaoigh ughhhh like at this point it's basically tomorrow and i can't deal with tomorrow because then it's basically next week and i have work due then and like i can't even think about doing that, but i have to ,because i have to do it tomorrow, because everything takes so long and it's already basically tomorrow

basically why does time pass and why is folding the laundry so fucking hard

[camellia-thea]

okay. just rambling here, but, i think armand took more than just the end of the interview away from daniel.

we got that little moment about that night, saying 'you asked me to' to louis. 'you asked me to take this from you, you could not live with it,' leading into, 'i look after you when you cannot look after yourself, i make those choices for you.'

we know that during the chase and devil's minion era, daniel was an addict, who was, by his own admission, slowly killing himself. he was also addicted to blood.

it's really not too far to make the jump, if devil's minion occurred, that armand made the choice to step in, in his own mind, for daniel's best interests. i know this isn't a unique jump to make, but; again with armand's "i look after him when he cannot look after himself" continual reiteration, i think it's a fair assumption.

he can also replace and blur memories, which makes the discussion of alice and paris -- why the dessert from that night? -- and how immediate and sincere his answer of "she wanted to say yes, but she didn't trust you. you hadn't given her a reason to." this could be the night he took them away, replaced himself with alice, planted something similar for her to start the relationship, then step back and watch it fall. and i think the thing that stands out there is just how tender he is while saying it. there's an undercurrent of something else entirely underneath, it isn't a dig at daniel in the moment, despite the pushing earlier in the scene.

and then in s1, when louis say to daniel, "i'd give it to you now." and the cut to armand, still in disguise, and his micro-expression of horror, the way he stiffens and looks away... and the little moment of what i read as conflict when daniel says no. his jump to "may i be excused?" i can't tell in the moment, if he's horrified about the offer itself, the fact that it is louis offering to turn daniel rather than himself, or the fact that daniel denies it. because i don't think armand could actually let daniel die if this was the case.

the disguise itself-- why pretend to be rashid? i think part of it is to try and hide behind a human persona to keep those memories at bay; especially given the little moments of flashback that got triggered by little mannerisms. i can't decide whether they're intentional pushes or not, whether armand wanted/wants daniel to remember on his own, or wants to keep it under wraps. i think, even if he believes he doesn't want it to come forward, he truly does deep down.

and once he's revealed himself as armand, the way he gazes at daniel, his beautiful boy. the continued "our boy", from both he and louis, the "he's still in there, somewhere..."

and i think "our boy" is also really interesting, because why would daniel be armand's boy, based solely on the moments that louis initially remembered? armand didn't really have any emotional connection to daniel that night, sure, he saved him, but that doesn't really mean anything; he saved daniel for louis, not for daniel's sake.

and, jumping back "our boy,[...] he's still in there somewhere"... there's implication that louis might know about it? again, i don't think this is related to the original interview, or at least, limited to it? i don't have anything concrete here, just vibes, but again, why is armand's boy still in there somewhere?

and sure, some of these are reaches and i don't think i'm necessarily right, but god it would be deliciously awful if i was.

[mumms-the-word]

Gale's Netherese Orb

The Condition and Symptoms

You asked for it! You're getting it! Yet another deep dive, this time about Gale's orb functioning as a chronic impairment/disability and the ways that a cure is dangled in front of him and even withheld from him.

Disclaimer: a lot of this has already been discussed by lore-wizards like galedekarios or mezzziah and some information is going to come from actual-lea's wild playthrough of the Gale Origin where they didn't give him any magic items just to see what would happen (which I recreated quickly in my own game to gather screenshots and gifs of my own). I'm not going to tag any of them because I don't want to bother them, but if you want even more lore, you can and should check them out!

We're going to look at Gale's orb "condition" in three phases: the effects of the orb on Gale's body itself, the ways that he has to treat it, and the potential cure for the orb. Because my deep dives always get a little out of hand, I’m splitting this into 3 posts. So you can take and leave whatever you like, but I'll link the masterlist to all 3 parts here once I have them posted!

But without further ado, let's deep dive!

I've said before that Baldur's Gate 3 is ultimately a game about cure—finding a cure for ceremorphosis, specifically. Every companion is facing a (potentially lethal) forced transformation into a squid creature in seven days or less unless they find a cure. At least, that's what they think before they realize that their tadpoles are special. On top of that, several characters, including Gale, especially Gale, are also dealing with additional chronic conditions that they wish to cure.

Let's set aside the search for the tadpole cure for a minute and focus on Gale—his character arc, his goals, even the text for his questline. The moment that Gale steps out of his pod on the nautiloid, he has a twofold goal: find a way to cure or treat the hungering orb in his chest and find a way to cure or stop ceremorphosis, in part because turning into a mind flayer may destabilize the orb, thus making the orb the bigger or more significant problem for Gale personally.

In other words, on two fronts, Gale's entire plot is concerned about curing a chronic, potentially lethal condition (or two), but the orb is the bigger issue between the two. Turning into a mind flayer is one thing, turning into a cataclysmic explosion that could "level a city the size of Waterdeep" is another.

The Wizard of Waterdeep Objectives - Escape the nautiloid I was an archmage - powerful, proud, full of potential - until my failed attempt to impress my lover, the goddess Mystra, left me with a volatile 'orb' of Netherese-corrupted Weave in my chest. Keeping it stable is difficult at the best of times...and these are far from the best of times. I've been abducted by mind flayers, infected with one of their tadpoles. So far the orb appears unaffected, but I can't count on that for long. I need to get back to Faerûnian soil before it begins to hunger.

Despite being infected by illithid tadpoles, Gale's larger concern is that staying in the hells will make feeding the orb difficult. When he gets off the nautiloid, he's worried that turning into a mind flayer will completely destabilize the orb. It's his primary concern and will continue to be so throughout the game.

Narrator: Despite your recent fall from the nautiloid, you are miraculously unharmed. Apart from the volatile orb of Netherese magic buried within your chest, of course. It stirs softly. Soon it will hunger, and when that time comes it must be fed. Starve it, and you risk triggering a cataclysmic explosion of raw, unfettered Weave. Such an explosion will be unavoidable, if the tadpole in your skull triggers ceremorphosis. An outcome definitely best avoided.

So, yeah, the squid thing is a problem, but Gale is definitely more concerned about exploding. But exploding and "hungering" aren’t the only things the orb does to his body.

I’m going to break down the actual condition into three smaller segments: the words Gale uses to talk about his condition, the physical effects that Gale describes happening to him, and the mechanical gameplay effects. I’ll talk more about the actual “hunger” of the orb in part 2 when I talk about its treatment, in part because the hunger and the treatment are both magical effects and are intrinsically linked. But for now, let's start with a look at how Gale talks about the orb.

Call it a Condition

To start off, Gale describes having the orb in his chest along the same lines that people might discuss chronic impairments or chronic illness. It's not a minor "issue" or a "problem" that is disconnected from Gale's body and physical/mental health; instead, he calls it a "condition," a "malady," and even a "chronic impairment." He couches the condition in terms that evoke illness and unwellness.

Gale: You see, I have this...condition. Very different from the parasites we share, but just as deadly. Player: What kind of condition? Gale: The specifics are rather personal, but suffice it to say that it is a malady I have learned to live with - though not without some effort. Player: (Durge) You also feel disgust by how life, miserable as it is, insists of persisting in this most wretched world? / (Tav) Is it contagious? Gale: No, no - nothing like that. Though if I fail to treat it then the consequences would not be contained to me alone. Player: Can it be cured? Gale: No, it cannot be cured. And I assure you I've left no page unturned in reaching that conclusion. I can keep this condition under control, as indeed I've done for a significant amount of time, but that was under different circumstances altogether. Home, in Waterdeep. What it comes down to is this: every so often I need to get my hands on a powerful magical item and absorb the Weave inside.

Player (Ranger): I think I might have a dock leaf in my bag, or some medicinal berries... Gale: Thank you for the offer, but the treatment for my condition is very specific.

Gale: The reality of the matter is that a lone wizard with a chronic impairment such as my own is not in the most ideal of situations with regards to self-defence.

In Gale's first conversation with the player about the orb, which is where all of the above comes from, he uses language related to illness and chronic pain/impairment to discuss the orb. It's a "condition," it is a "malady" that requires "treatment," it is a "chronic impairment," and so on.

Generally, at first, he speaks lightly about it and even continues to joke about his condition ("my tower in Waterdeep has never been so free of clutter" and so on), but the reality is he's underplaying the actual physical toll it takes on his body. When you ask him what happens if he doesn't consume any artifacts, he'll briefly describe some symptoms to you that aren't obvious to the player character. Which brings us to...

The Physical Symptoms

This is how he describes the initial physical symptoms of the orb's hunger:

Gale: I'll spare you the finer details, but it begins with a simple biological deterioration. Muscle spasms, disorientation, a slight ringing in the ears. And if left for too long...catastrophe.

In other places, we see the orb's hunger/pain also affecting his ability to think clearly, suggesting he's experiencing a kind of brain fog or concentration issue, plus general discomfort, and a feeling like something is gnawing at his insides, as seen in various lines below.

Gale: You'll have to speak slowly. I'm finding it quite difficult to concentrate with my condition gnawing at my insides like a teething displacer kitten. Gale: Somehow the second artefact hasn't had the effect of the first. It's somewhat relieved the discomfort, but I fear my hunger hasn't quite... Ahh...* Gale: But... this doesn't feel quite right... It never feels right, but it relieves. This doesn't relieve... Ahh...* *devnote: Near the end of the line he's in discomfort, in pain

This is all from the second artifact conversation, when you give him the second item to try and feed the orb's hunger (the last line is a lower approval/you've-been-begrudging-about-items kind of line, so he's still being closed off with you). When you hear these lines in the game, he's obviously speaking with discomfort and with difficulty, as if trying to string words together despite the pain. His little comments as you travel with him/as him while he is dealing with arcane hunger also reference weakness, pain, and concentration issues.

- I'm feeling rather unsteady... - Deep breaths, Gale. Hold it together. - I'd be rather enjoying this journey, were I not wracked with pain. - One step in front of the other, Gale. - Ugh, I feel rotten. devnote: Slightly pained/struggling with a constant ache (the orb is negatively affecting him, causing him pain. Prompt is to remind the player that Gale is unwell.) [mumm's note: there are other lines as well, beyond these, and Gale will say them at random, so there's no progression into better or worse. This is just a sample of the lines.]

Given everything so far, I suspect the pain he feels is a combination of heart/chest pain, like one might feel during an anxiety attack, a POTS flare-up, or even a heart attack, while the gnawing sensation could be like hunger cramps (or any other internal cramping, though I think for Gale it feels higher up in his body than in his stomach, given the orb's location).

I highly suspect the orb is feeding off of not only his magic, but his body as well. We know it feeds off his magic specifically (more on this in the other two parts, especially because this detail doesn't come to light until Gale meets with Mystra). But given the pains and the way he frames his condition as a state of deterioration, it's likely that it's also feeding off energy stores and other biological/physical elements of his body, not unlike how extreme hunger can cause your body to essentially eat itself—your fat stores first, but eventually even your muscle tissues and other vital tissues.

(I've seen someone suggest this is why Gale has "dehydration state" chiseled abs like movie stars have because the orb is literally eating away at his fat/energy stores and so on. It's a compelling theory!)

The orb also weakens him, likely causes massive fatigue, and even seems to be draining his "spirit" or his mental capabilities. We see this in descriptions of Arcane Hunger (which are below). It's a wonder this man can put one foot in front of the other if the pain is particularly bad.

In addition to all the other physical symptoms, the orb itself has physically scarred his body with the marking on his chest, which is also bruising pretty significantly (though this "bruising" could just as likely be dark-colored magic just beneath his skin, your headcanon/mileage may vary).

Photo credits: @elspethdekarios, though I cropped them down for this deep dive

If you click on the images and zoom in, you can see how the markings have a bit of depth and texture to them, as opposed to the flat lines of a tattoo. The lines are carved into his skin. Certain lighting will also make the mark look darker or lighter, and make the bruising at the center faint or noticeably dark. There are some theories that the bruising gets worse as the game goes on, but I think it's just a lightning issue (though it would be interesting if the bruising gets darker with each new level of arcane hunger, or something to that effect).

Lastly, and I'll discuss this more in part 2, even when the orb does not actively pain Gale, it "stirs." Other references from the narrator reveal that the orb "shudders" or "prickles" within him. Gale can feel the movement of the orb inside his body, possibly like a weird fluttering or vibration in his chest. It's likely why, even when he isn't actively hungering, he'll put his hand over his chest and adjust his shoulders, as if reacting to a strange and slightly uncomfortable sensation within his chest.

Anyway, long story short, the physical symptoms of dealing with the hungering orb are:

Biological deterioration (like hunger, the body consuming itself, muscles weakening, etc)

Muscle spasms

Disorientation

Ringing in the ears

Difficulty concentrating/brain fog/mental fatigue

Cramping and/or chest pain

General discomfort and pain

Physical fatigue/feelings of weakness

Scarring and bruising from the orb itself

A sensation of the orb "stirring" even when not painful

And this man will joke about it.

Honestly, his ability to joke and discuss his condition with humor is a sign to me that he really is experiencing and thinking of the orb the same way people with chronic conditions think about their pain or illnesses. At the start of the game, Gale's condition is incurable—Gale says as much himself that it "cannot be cured." It can only be managed, treating the symptoms and diminishing the pain, rather than completely eradicating the impairment. Gale likely has a new scale for pain, the same way people with chronic pain do. A "bad day" for him would likely end most healthy, normative people in a clinic hoping for some prescription pain medication, whereas he will just grit his teeth and keep going. In short, saying that the orb is a "chronic impairment" is a bit of an understatement, and I don't think people realize just how much Gale is/acts like a person dealing with real-world chronic pain or chronic illnesses.

Gale is used to this pain, though he certainly isn't enjoying it. Have you ever persuaded him to wait before giving him a magic item? If your persuasion is high enough (and he likes you), he'll give a cheery "of course!" even though treating the pain is obviously the preferable path here. When he reminds you of his need for an item, as with the "teething displacer kitten" line or the "My condition likes being ignored as much as I do," he still conveys these lines with a mix of urgency and dark humor. He's dealt with this condition for a year or more. You might be testing his tolerance by withholding items, but he's not going to let on just how badly he's actually feeling.

This is the man who will uncomfortably laugh and say "Gods, this is bloody uncomfortable," while the orb in his chest is running a high-grade POTS flare-up and consuming his innards. That's what we call an understatement, Gale. He could complain a lot more, and far more loudly, but he's actually keeping it quite restrained, as people with chronic pain often tend to do.

So anyway, if you ever hear anyone complaining that Gale complains about his magic orb condition too much, ask them how much they'd like walking around with heart-attack symptoms for a few hours at a time. But let's move on!

The Gameplay Effects

Now that we know what the orb does to Gale narratively, what does his condition do to him mechanically in the game? Because, unlike with Karlach's unstable engine or Shadowheart's incurable wound (other examples of chronic pain/disability in the game), the game adds actual debuffs to Gale's character that can affect gameplay and battles. Therefore, leaving Gale disabled with pain also, in effect, disables the player's ability to play the game (or at least hampers it).

In the game, there are three stages of Arcane Hunger. Most people generally don't go beyond the first stage, because why would you let Gale walk around with a debuff of any kind if you have a locket of dancing lights you'll never use? But if you continue to ignore him (or, if you're playing as Gale, and willfully choose not to consume any items) then the Arcane Hunger will progress to Greater and Severe Arcane Hunger, bringing even more serious debuffs to his character.

Arcane Hunger - Condition Gale's spirit is being drained. He has disadvantage on Constitution Saving Throws. Greater Arcane Hunger - Condition The Netherese Orb in Gale's body is weakening him. He has Disadvantage on Attack Rolls and all Saving Throws. Severe Arcane Hunger - Condition The Netherese Orb in Gale's body is severely weakening him. He has Disadvantage on Attack Rolls and all Saving Throws. His movement speed is halved.

Casual reminder that Constitution Saving Throws generally affect concentration, which is needed to maintain spells that last for more than one turn. This goes back to Gale's concentration/mental fatigue when he's initially hungering. When the hunger progresses, however, Gale is physically weakened and the game makes it so that he's more likely to fail savings throws or attacks.

Trying to normally play as Gale with these debuffs is basically an exercise in resigning yourself to missing attacks frequently and failing literally every saving throw (this includes disadvantage on saving throws in dialogues as well). He's still playable, since Magic Missile never misses and you can work with spells that deal damage even when an enemy passes their saving throw, but he becomes even more of a glass cannon than ever. If he's not at the back of a fight, he goes down pretty quick.

Once you hit Severe Arcane Hunger (which I hit after only 6.5 hours of rushed gameplay, though you could probably hit it sooner if you were zooming through a bit faster than me) you're also forced to walk everywhere. Gale's movement speed is halved. The distance he can move in a single turn is drastically shorter than usual, and his speed is no faster than a casual walk. Anyone who has tried to move while encumbered knows this same walking speed debuff.

So the game literally takes Gale's chronic impairment and makes it disabling to both him AND you controlling him. No one really wants to play the entirety of BG3 at a walking pace, after all, so it forces you to make a decision—will you finally treat Gale's condition, or will you grit your teeth and bare it, like Gale does with his pain (though it's nowhere near close to the same levels of discomfort).

Typically a companion Gale will just leave if you refuse to give him any items and he progresses to the stage where he's at Severe Arcane Hunger. But if you play as Origin Gale, you can keep playing with Severe Arcane Hunger until, well, his condition literally paralyzes him and then he withers away, apparently dying of necrotic damage from the orb (I’m assuming here, because the log doesn’t specify what damage causes Gale to wither away, and he exudes a necrotic damage aura once he’s dead, which happens whenever he dies anyway).

Gale withered away. Gale lost Condition: Gale is Paralysed. Gale received Condition: Gale is Paralysed. [mumm's note: obviously this is listed in reverse order, because Gale becomes paralyzed and then withers away]

It appears that if left untreated, Gale’s biological deterioration reaches a point that it literally shuts his body down completely, and then he just...dies. I imagine that physically the orb has eaten away at so many of his vital tissues, including his internal organs, that everything just sort of ceases to function. He's corrupted from the inside out, and nothing but death and a quick resurrection can reverse those effects.

It's worth noting that if you choose to do this experiment with Origin Gale and don't feed him a single magic item, then Elminster won't be waiting for you to arrive in the Mountain Pass or just outside the Shadow Cursed Lands if you travel through the Underdark. Since Gale hasn't been managing his symptoms, he hasn't realized that the various items he's consuming aren't having any effect. Therefore, he isn't actively looking for a new solution to treat the symptoms. Since he isn't looking, I guess Elminster never thought to make himself available with the new solution?

Honestly, why Elminster doesn't show up is kind of a mystery. Gameplay-wise, I assume it's that Gale's quest didn't progress enough to trigger the game flag that would spawn Elminster. But lore-wise or narratively, it doesn't make sense. Mystra sends Elminster with both a command and a temporary "cure," so is she just waiting until Gale realizes his symptoms can no longer be managed? No idea. Maybe I'll explore it more in Part 3.

Anyway the point is that when an untreated Gale reaches Moonrise without talking to Elminster, the game (and his condition) shuts him down. When you revive him at camp, Elminster conveniently appears to give him Mystra's command to sacrifice himself at the Heart of the Absolute and stabilizes the orb at last.

But there's a catch.

Elminster Aumar: A shame that we did not cross paths sooner. The orb's thirst for magic is now quenched, yet it already inflicted some damage while you tried to forge ahead. The ill effects may linger, I'm afraid. Not enough to hamper your mission, I hope.

I believe this can also happen with a companion Gale, but I'm not sure about the specific parameters of triggering this. Regardless, as actual-lea has observed in their No Gale Dinner experiment, if Gale has regular Arcane Hunger then Elminster stabilizes the orb and all is well, but if he has Greater or Severe Arcane Hunger, then the damage the orb does to his body becomes irreversible. After Elminster stabilizes the orb, in this scenario, Gale is left with a permanent "Arcane Hunger" debuff, the same as the above, where he suffers disadvantage on constitution saving throws. This time, you can't consume items to make it go away, and nothing will cure the debuff. Gale just permanently has it for the rest of the game.

(It's worth noting that you can also kill Elminster while he's talking with Gale, thus preventing him from stabilizing the orb with his magic and from telling Gale he needs to sacrifice himself. This sort of breaks the narrative for Gale and results in some wonky dialogue chains that do and don't flag correctly, but the interesting outcome is that it means you can continue playing the game with Severe Arcane Hunger, which is now also a permanent debuff. You can consume magical items before the Elminster visit, but never after. Even if you kill him, you lose the ability to consume items, which means it is officially impossible to manage Gale's symptoms. You just have to deal with the halved walking speed and disadvantage on everything. And you can complete the game that way, if you have the patience! But it would be a very long game. I would know. I've done it and I was rushing like a maniac lol)

Anyway this is getting super long, so I'll end with a few wrap-up thoughts.

Final Thoughts

Having played as Gale with Severe Arcane Hunger for several hours in the game, I think Gale honestly downplays just how bad the pain and debilitating effects of his condition really are. As I was going through the evidence, I kept thinking about how there are so many different elements of pain, discomfort, fatigue, and general unpleasantness that are all part of Gale's everyday life. Even when the orb is stabilized or not actively hurting him, he likely still feels it moving in his chest and I imagine there are chronic effects that stabilizing the orb couldn't exactly cure, like lingering fatigue (and we wonder why Gale complains about his knees and wanting to take a rest and so forth).

Ookay the knees thing might be unrelated to the orb but I digress

Dealing with that much pain and internal corruption is a state of living that most people wouldn't want to stay in, and Gale is no exception here. He wants to stop the pain in his chest, just as much as he wants his former abilities and magical prowess to return. These things are connected, which I'll talk about in part 2. But without hope of a cure, Gale is forced to deal with his condition as a process of managing symptoms, creating a treatment plan that involves him consuming magic from magical items just to get a bit of relief.

But that, my friends, is where we'll pick up with Part 2 - The Hunger and the Treatment.

[sl-vega]

Hi there! Recently stumbled upon your Hiori piece (I Don’t Know Much, But I Know I Want You) and Oh. My. Gosh. It’s amazing!! The story was so cute and I also love the little Karasu interactions you threw in; it matches their characters so well and it’s so well written! If you ever feel motivated or inspired to do so, I’d love to see where you’d take the piece in a part 2! No pressure of course, I just think that seeing how they’d interact in your writing would be really awesome. Currently on my way to binge read every other work of yours; I love your writing style o7

Thanks for reading my ask and have a lovely day!! :)

˚୨୧⋆｡ MALL MEET CUTES

part one // part two

pairing: Hiori Yo x [FEM!] Reader

genre: fluff, oneshot, classmates to lovers, friends to lovers (?), pre-bluelock au/canon compliant

synopsis: hiori is still pretty damn smitten when it comes to you, so like the lovesick fool he his, he decides to drag karasu to the mall with him to help him find a gift to impress you, of course, in a strange turn of events it turns out you're at the mall too, so whatever shall our poor loverboy do when he sees you? (or in which hiori "soccer genius" yo, is dumb enough to ask karasu of all people for girl advice, and karasu like the wonderful friend he is, tags along for the drama)

CW/additional tags: mild language, potentially ooc, i actually did research on a mall in kyoto so look at me go, might make a part three if i really feel like it

author's note: AKJFJFHAFHKJ TYYY ANON YOU'RE SO SWEET, i'm so glad you liked the first part and all of hiori + karasu's interactions, it really means a lot to me that you thought i did them justice <3

"Would getting her makeup be a good idea?"

Hiori asked his senior as he stood outside of COLOUR STUDIO, it was a cosmetics store that he heard the girls in his class talk about occasionally , you among them.

"Or would that be too intimate? Do ya' think she'd think I'm trying too hard? Maybe we should've just stuck to stationery...."

Hiori bombarded Karasu with questions as he sighed and stared up at the daunting illuminated white sign of the shop.

His friend groaned and grabbed the sleeve of Hiori's light blue sweat shirt, dragging him into the store where a few employees and clerks gave them slightly concerned looks.

"No, we're here now so we may as well get something."

Karasu chastised his younger teammate as he escorted him into the lip product aisle, in which Hiori found himself surrounded by many unfamiliar brands with colourful packaging.

"Ya' sure know yer' way around Karasu, have ya' been here before?"

"I've been to their branch over in Osaka, my sister makes me get 'er shit whenever she runs out..."

Karasu plucked a small box from the middle of the shelf, making a point to read the label and the brand to make sure it was the one he needed.

"So what are you gonna get yer' special girl?"

He asked teasingly, as his slender fingers clutched around the small container he was holding.

"I dunno actually...I was hoping you might help me?"

Hiori replied, chuckling nervously. He already knew that Karasu had an older sister, so must have some knowledge on these kinds of things.

His teammate seemed to deadpan at his friend's request, feigning a hurt expression at his friend's question.

"So I'm just a personal shopping assistant to ya'? I'm hurt Hiori."

Karasu gave him a playful pout before breaking into a mild fit of laughter after Hiori swatted his shoulder. The older boy promptly turned to one of the shelves and tossed Hiori a small pink tube of lip gloss.

"Get 'er this one, the quality is pretty good and it has a reasonable price."

Karasu said nonchalantly as his back was still turned, still browsing through some of the shelves. Hiori looked down at the product tube and read out the label to himself.

"Canmake Candy Wrap Lip..."

He muttered as he rotated the slender cylinder in his hand, reading the adhesive tag on it, he realized that Karasu was right, the price was within his budget, and the packaging was rather cute, not to mention how the tube itself contained a good amount of product.

He was about to thank his friend before realizing that Karasu was back at the front counter of the store, probably asking one of the employees for help with finding something.

Observing his surroundings, Hiori thought that browsing the shop a little bit more couldn't hurt, he still had plenty of funds to spare, more than enough to buy you something else.

Hiori continued to browse the current aisle he was in, allowing his fingers to brush against the array of cosmetics, all neatly sorted and arranged by brand, type, and flavour.

As he continued to run his hand along the rows upon rows of products, he stumbled across another area of products that caught his eye.

"Rohto Mentholatum Lip Balm..."

He read the mini card board sign that was clipped to the shelf as he observed the packaging. The one's that were currently stocked were said to be peach flavoured, the price seemed fairly reasonable as well.

Now, that he thought about it, having a lip balm on hand would be pretty practical, Hiori hated the feeling of his chapped lips. Plus, he deserved some kind of reward.

Hiori reached for one of the tubes, and right before he was about to take the lip balm from the shelf, his fingers brushed against a stranger's hand who was reaching for the exact some one.

On instinct, Hiori pulled away, muttering a quick apology. He turned to said stranger to say tell them that they could take it before realizing that said stranger wasn't a stranger at all.

"Oh! Hiori?"

Oh God, it was you

"H-hey!"

He managed to squeak out as you gave him a soft smile, he was surprised he hadn't made a complete fool of himself yet. Without realizing it, he had promptly shoved the tube of lip gloss he was going to buy for you into his back pocket.

"Hi! I didn't realize you were the shopping type Hiori."

You greeted him once more as you observed the hand that quickly pocketed the lip tube, you didn't press any further however.

"Oh, I'm not actually, I'm just getting a gift for someone special..."

Hiori chuckled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. He chastised himself for his wording, of course he had to say it like that, now if he gave you the gift you'd know for sure that he liked you.

But then again, that would spare him the humiliation of actually having to say it directly to your face, not that he ever wanted to confess in the first place...

"Someone...special? I didn't know you had a girlfriend Hiori..."

You trailed off, you sounded disappointed almost.

Hiori's face flushed at your words, he didn't mean to give you that idea. He could slowly feel heat creep up his neck as you continued to stare at him.

"Guess I shouldn't be that surprised..."

This time you were avoiding eye contact, you laughed somewhat bitterly. Were you jealous? Part of Hiori wanted to delude himself into thinking that, but another part of him wanted to die right there and then to avoid making a bigger fool out of himself.

"N-No I don't have a girlfriend actually!"

He assured you as his face turned an even brighter shade of red.

Where was Karasu when ya' needed him?

Suddenly, Hiori felt a light tap against his head. It was Karasu! His knight in shining armor, to save him from the train wreck of a conversation. His teammate was holding a small basket full of a few products, some mascara, eye liner, and a few skin cream tubs among them.

"I'm gonna go check out now, are ya' done yet?"

His friend asked as he rested his hand on Hiori's shoulder, Karasu looked up at you, realizing that there was company present.

The silence that followed was deafening.

You glanced between the two boys, you had recalled Karasu from Hiori's youth team, but you didn't know much about the older boy, but you had spotted him hanging around Hiori pretty frequently, so you assumed that they were fairly close.

"Oh, I'm sorry am I interrupting something?"

You questioned as your eyes flickered between the two of them, your head was tilted slightly in curiosity. You noticed Karasu's grip on Hiori's shoulder tighten ever so slightly at the sound of your question.

Hiori shook his head frantically, Karasu was probably giving you that same unsettling stare he always used whenever he was sizing someone up on you.

"No! Not at all! But I should get going right about now..."

He assured you that nothing was wrong, but he was already flustered enough, and there was no way Karasu would let him hear the end of whatever this incident should be labelled as.

"Well I'll see you school I guess!"

You flashed him another bright smile before turning to Karasu, and you gave the older boy a curt and quick bow.

"I'm (Y/N), Hiori's classmate, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Karasu was caught off guard by your sudden politeness, but he returned the favour.

"Karasu."

He stated quickly before taking Hiori's hand in his own, you seemed to take note of this.

You were about to walk away, so you waved to them before saying;

"Have fun on your date!"

Wait what?!

If Hiori's face was red before, it was basically crimson by now. The girl he liked not only thought he was taken, but now she thought he was into guys?!

"W-we're not!-He's not-I'm not-"

Karasu simply wheezed at the current predicament, clearly amused by your assumption of Hiori and him's relationship and by his younger friend's sudden flustered expression.

"I wish! Don't worry yer' pretty little head off though, he's still avaliable∼. He's quite taken with you at that too."

Karasu teased as he winked at Hiori, clearly taking sadistic pleasure in his friend's suffering.

"Karasu!"

Hiori whisper shouted as his friend dragged him out the store, still laughing as the cyan-haired boy continued his flustered protests which bore no fruit.

Well at least you knew how he felt now...

BONUS!

"This is why I told ya' to quit flirting with me like that! People are getting the wrong idea about us..."

"Aww but I can't have random girls stealing you away from me∼"

"Shut up ya' stupid crow!"

"Make me prodigy∼"

[roxtron]

Day 5: Rabbit, Reclaim

AGJGDFJF FINALLY IT'S DAY 5 SO I CAN POST THIS

For some reason everytime i draw him he looks so young because i'm accidentally overcorrecting since i'm used to drawing older characters. So unfortunately he looks way younger than i meant him to lol, whoops.

But wait there's more- AHAHAHA

While I did initially plan this for GGY week I eventually got the idea to use this as an excuse to draw other GGY designs, soo..

(Not sure why tumblr formatted it that way with 1 of them big but it doesn't matter lol)

I've been wanting to do this for a while, I put the tags of each person next to their design but ofc I'm still gonna tag them in the post itself so you can see their art for yourself if you haven't already. But I enjoyed each of these in their own ways so if you don't mind I think I'm gonna type a bit of text next to them..

@chipistrate This was one of the first I drew out of these, the design was pretty fun to draw but sorry if I messed up a few details, it was a bit difficult lol. The mask and goggles are really fun to draw and they make for a cool design, along with all the glowing blue. (and yes, I tried to subtly include the heelies lol)

@lunzi0 This was the first fursuit one I did lol. I adore the little stars in the design, they personalize it so well and make it really unique. I wanna try this design again since I feel like the other ones show my improvement a bit better, but I hope you can appreciate the effort I put in on my first attempt <3

@carouselrabbit This one was really fun to draw, I absolutely love the eye shape/lashes, it stands out and I always love drawing eyes with a bit of eyeliner lol, the daycare theme legwarmers is a cool nod to the balloon boy arcade machine being connected to them, and was just a fun addition in general lol, I like the style of legwarmers what can I say, fnaf changed my fashion sense a bit. also the subtle paraells to freddy's design is a nice way to connect a bit to gregory himself.

@puhpandas I can't remember if I talked about this design last time I drew it but, overall I'm really happy with how this came out, it's such an indicator of improvement since I started drawing this and I'm glad I was able to draw it better than last time lol. All the patchwork and similarities to Vanny's suit work really well, and the rabbit you chose to base it off of was a good fit, the colors make it a bit more difficult to shade for but i like detail lol, hope you like it too :)

@dykevanny I knew I wanted to do this since I started but I wasn't sure if I'd have time, and I'm glad I did! I hope you don't mind I combined aspects from the first design I saw and the second one you replied to my ask with, I liked the big purple sleeves lol. (I just realized after doing all the shading I forgot to include the oil splatter on his jacket, sorry!) It was definitely a bit difficult due to the head shape being so different but.. fluffy. i love drawing fluff. And the glowing swirl on the goggles, the shape of the ears, I love a lot about this design. :D

I have a hard time with writing compliments but I wanted to get some of those thoughts out, some of the things I like about these designs apply to multiple lol. I adore every one of these designs but I find it hard to put into words what I enjoy about them, hope the original creators are happy with these. <3

I also kept the ggys without as much lighting effects on a separate file, I felt like I should add them since they're a bit brighter lol, makes them look different.

Okay now that I've gotten all that- Sorry this post is so long! I didn't think it'd end up taking up so much space lol. Buut.. working on this drawing and thinking about it and potential context behind it gave me an au idea for it, but I'll put it under the cut since I understand most people probably won't care and just wanna see the drawings lol.

Idk if I'm confident enough to write for it but I'll give a bit of a summary.. I'll keep it under the cut for people who aren't interested and just wanna see the art though lol.

After the main events of SB and Ruin, now that the mimic's been set free, Cassie's taken control of by what's left of Vanny, using her as a new host. But with Cassie being the only human left alive down there, after being reawakened, Dr. Rabbit has nowhere left to go but back to his old host.

Vanessa, Freddy, and Gregory hadn't gone back to the Pizzaplex after ruin, but they were trying to figure out a plan to get Cassie back safely. One night after Freddy and Gregory disappear, Vanessa leaves to go find them. As dangerous as the pizzaplex is, it's her best guess for where they might've gone. She doesn't want to think about what could've happened to them, in denial for the worst case scenario. She tries to keep herself calm by telling herself they probably just left to go back for Cassie, maybe they didn't want her stopping them.. but deep down she knows it can't be that simple. She knows something's off, even if she's not ready to admit it.

When returning to the pizzaplex, she brought along her own V.A.N.N.I. mask, though unlike the one Cassie used, it was clear of the mimic's influence. After all, she was going to need some way to travel through potential blocked routes.

By the time she found Gregory, she'd still been wearing the mask, seeing him down the end of a dark hallway. He looked confused, afraid, his mind was a wreck of conflicting emotions. She started rushing towards him, happy to see him okay, until he finally spoke.

"You need to get out of here."

She stepped back, taking off the mask, only to be faced with the worst case scenario.

It was a wreck, covered in stains and tears, but it was still recognizable. He was wearing that old suit again.

As he waved, she could see Freddy's claws peeking out from the doorway, as the two stepped closer towards her.

So, she did what he told her to do, and started running. She could hear a faint voice coming from the mask, and put it back on before finding somewhere she could hide.

It was his voice again, telling her which way to go.

I guess that was the dramatic way to summarize the main idea behind it, lol. Basically Gregory and Dr. Rabbit work the way Sun and Moon work in Ruin, whichever one is in control in the real world, the other is left behind in the AR world. Or at least that's my interpretation of how they worked, considering Sun was always in mask-on scenes and moon was mask-off. I'm not too sure where the plot might go from there, and maybe I'll consider writing for it, I dunno. I've never wrote fanfic before because I get deadly afraid of writing them out of character lol, but maybe?? I have ideas for scenes and premise and stuff but I don't know if I have the confidence to write it.

But anyway! That was just more of a fun side-idea I came up with while working on this, if you read this far thanks, hope you enjoyed :)

here's some silly little lineless doodles as a reward for making it to the end hehe

now that's what I call an art dump

@ggyweek2024

[romanarose]

If You Wanna Be Wild: Chapter 2

Javier Peña x Latina!sex worker!informant!Reader/OC x Santiago Garcia

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Summary: Javi and Santi talk about where to start with Lorea; Santi thinks on his night with Candy

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it.

Additional warnings: Catholic guilt and religous trauma and religion talk. However, this is not an anti catholic page. We can discuss the problems of the church at large and the guilt that abstence-only and shame based discussions on sex can affect people, but my family is catholic and I have a lot of respect for the individual people, especially Latino-catholics.

For the record, this is a fic that takes place in the drug trade and deals with the darker side of humanity, so anything from Narco's and Triple Frontier is liable to be discussed or mentioned here. This is your warning. This is not a dark fic nor is it centered around dark themes like Leather and Lace or Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, but they are open to be talked about.

Reader has a nick name: Candy. Not her real name just what she goes by on her profession. Much of the inspo for this and for the title came from the Bruce Springsteen song “Candy’s room” so check it out for the vibes.

Reader speaks Spanish and had hair. I've decided Candy is just latina coded bc she's a sex worker in colombia so this is what I'm doing.

3.1k words. Proof red by my beloved Fen

Perspective changed per section. When perspective is Santi or Javi, reader is referred to in the 3rd person or by Candy.

************************

You have Santi sat up on the bed, facing you. Well, Diego. That’s what he said his name was, but if he thought you didn’t know who the new DEA agent in town was, he was mistaken. After your 3rd arrest for prostitution, you got a lot more careful, and always tried to keep up with the police in the area. You wondered if he knew Javi.

“Alright Diego, tell me, what exactly is it you’re looking for?” You ask, but he looks confused, so you give a soft, warm sigh. He was one of those ones. “Are you just looking for a quick fuck? Getting to know each other and forming a connection, exploring things?”

Santi considered his options. “Well, maybe I’d like to learn a little bit… only had s-” He swallowed. “sex a few times… you know, lights off, missionary, couple pumps and done…” A nervous chuckle emitted from him, so you tried to ease him with a soft smile.

“Don’t worry, baby boy, we can do that. Let’s start with getting to know a woman’s body, how about that?”

*

“Garcia, wake the fuck up.” Javi’s voice broke Santi out of his daydreaming, making him snap towards Javi.

“Huh? Sorry.”

“Whatsamatter, pretty boy, got dicked down too hard last night?”

Santi’s eyes went wide at that. “Dicked-?!?! DICKED DOWN? JAVI!” He leaned in to whisper harshly, as if it was important enough to keep quiet but not so bad Santi couldn’t miss an opportunity to clutch his pearls. “Javi, you fucking know I could get arrested for that!”

“I’m joking, pendejo.”

“You shouldn’t joke about that!”

Apparently, Santi looked concerned enough that Javi backed down, raising his hands in defeat. “Tranquilo, tranquilo amigo, lo siento. Yo parare.”

A little shaken, Santi glanced down as he calmed himself. “Gracias, Pena”. He rolled his shoulders and shook his head before clearing his throat. “So. Lorea. What do we got?”

*

Santiago Garcia had never seen a pussy up close before. There’d been porno magazines, sure… and he’d… touched a bit. He wasn’t an animal, Will had explained he can’t just shove his dick into a woman, that could hurt her. No, you gotta warm her up first, seduce her, open her up. Santi heard more than he ever wanted to of the sordid detail of Will eating pussy. However, when it came to actual sex, Santi barely got through it without a panic attack. There was no way he was going to attempt to go down on a girl under those conditions. Still, he didn’t want to hurt her, so he made sure to finger the 3 girls he’d somehow bumbled his way into bed with.

He needed to do better. Candy was allowing him the chance to explore, get over his nerves.

“But I want you to cum…” He had insisted.

“Well aren’t you a sweet boy… I’ll make sure I cum, how about that? Let me worry about that.”

“But…” he had looked across at her. “But I wanna learn how too.”

She nodded with reassurance. “You will, trust me, I’ll teach you. Just for today, focus on getting comfortable. I’ll let you know what feels good and what doesn’t but what works for me may not work for someone else, so remember that. Most important thing is communicating and listening to her body, so let’s start there.”

That’s how he got here, flat on his chest with Candy’s legs spread out before him. Her pussy was glistening for him.

“Where do I… how do I start?”

Candy sat up just a bit on her elbows. “Start by just getting familiar, explore.”

So he did. Santi started with touching. His index and middle finger swept along her folds, moving and opening her up for his view. She was beautiful. He started with the top, the area just below her pantyline tan skin under a bush of hair followed by her folds coming to a head.

“That’s the clit, that’s very important.” She took his fingers and pulled back the hood. “Touch there” When Santi complied, Candy sank back down on her bed with a hum.

Santi felt a swell of pride at giving her pleasure. “Is that good?”

“Very good, pretty boy. Lot of nerves right there.”

He continued touching below, feeling the way her skin moved to his touch and how his fingers slid across the slick, soft skin below… She looked delicious.

“Can I taste you?”

*

“Where do we even start with something like this?” Santi groaned, flopping his head back.

Javi couldn't help but roll his eyes at that. “Don’t be such a child, Garcia. You take this shit one step at a time, just like anything else. Let’s start with what we know.”

The handsome younger man sighed. “Fine.” He pulled out the casefiles and Javi noticed how much calmer he’d seemed, less high strung… still high strung but that was just Santiago, Javi came to realize. “Gabriel Martin Lorea, coke dealer, devout catholic and family man… none of which stops him from hiring hookers.”

Javi chuckles. “Few things do.”

“Well, marriage should, especially when you have children.” Santi glared at him. 

His naivete, something Javi had been dreading with a younger partner, ended up endearing Santi to him. “Right, right of course.” He smiled and shook his head before lighting up a cigarette.

“Do you really have to do that indoors?”

“So sue me. I’m the one smoking, it’s not like it can hurt you.”

“I don’t know, I heard of a study that secondhand smoke can-”

Javi blew a puff of smoke in Santi’s face. “That’s just anti-smoking propaganda pushed by doctors to sell more nicotine patches.”

*

Santi had dived right in. Once he had permission to taste, he very tentatively licked a strip up her folds and to the clit… and was suddenly a starved man, insatiable, desperate to devour her and drown in her juices.. She liked when he touched her clit so he was sure to latch his mouth over the hood. As he sucked, Candy instructed him to finger her and he was happy to oblige. This, he could handle at least.

“Good boy…” Candy cooed at him. “Such a good boy for me, so obedient.”

“Wanna be good.” He mumbled into your core as he lapped at her, hips rutting against the bed. “Wanna do good.”

When her fingers found his hair, tangling up in his curls and tugging just a bit, he couldn’t help but whine into her, toes curling in his socks.

“You’re doing so good, baby boy, so good, but I’m gonna need you to stop.”

Stop? He didn’t wanna stop. Santi wanted to die here with her… Was it time? How much time did he pay for- ait, he hadn’t even paid her yet. What was her going rate? He didn’t fucking care right now, right now he’d pay her his life savings, his military pension, his first born, whatever she wanted if he could cum. 

“Whyyyyy?!” He simply went back to eating her out, taking every moment he had.

“Because,” Candy pulled at his curls, forcing him to look up and crawl back up her golden body. “Because you are about to cum, and I still wanna ride you.”

He could feel his eyes go wide at that. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what that meant… but for someone who had only ever done missionary, the whole concept seemed so… dirty. Santi chuckled nervously, tucking his head into the crook of her neck. “I’ll be honest, Candy, I’m not sure how much longer I’m gonna last as it is.”

He felt her chuckle. “Let’s slow down for a moment, then. I want you to undress.”

His breath hitched, but he made the move to undo his pants until she stopped him.

“Uh-uh, Diego. Stand up. Let me watch you undress.”

Undress like… standing? By himself? All out there and naked? “Um… can’t I do it here?”

“You can.” She confirmed with a kind smile. “But I’d really like to watch you strip for me.”

How could he resist that? Tentative, slow and careful, Santi stood up and Candy sat on the edge of the bed, bottoms off but still clothed top. “Are you gonna take that off?” It was half a joke, half a genuine question.

Candy nodded. “I will, just trust me.”

And he did, with everything in him.

So he took off his shirt.

*

“Okay. Catholic. Do we know what church he goes to?”

Javi raised an eyebrow? “You think a drug lord is going to daily mass?”

“No, but if he’s devout I assume he’s got a family that goes. Wife and children maybe, but definitely a mother. I don’t know one woman over 50 who doesn’t belong to a perish, especially a hispaña woman.”

“You find a lot of company con mujeres mayor, amigo?”

“Shut up. I say we start there. If we can find out about his family's church, we can probably find out a little more.”

Apprehensive as always, Javi crossed his legs, doubtful. “I don’t know, what can we possibly find out?”

Santi shrugged. “Not sure, but churches have a lot of records when it comes to members and if he has a family that is active we might find out something useful.”

“Is this really the best use of our time?”

Javi raised a good point, this might be a dead end, and they would have wasted all that time. “Just give me a picture of all known families and I’ll keep an eye out.”

Now that caught Javi’s attention, cocking an eyebrow at him. “You go to church, Garcia?”

A faint blush crept up Santi’s neck. His mother was very religious, that religion instilled into him and his sister. His sister couldn’t care less anymore, but then again she had never cared much about their mother’s harsh opinions and strict standards… Santi did. And so, even now with her passing, Santi attended mass often. Not a part of a regular perish, he just attended where he could and when his schedule allowed. The old women there did love him, but Santi knew Javi would never let that go. “Tengo muchas tías y primos en la zona. Si no muestro mi cara en la iglesia a veces, se lo dirán a mi madre y nunca escucharé el final.”

Javi didn’t need to know his mom was dead.

*

Santi nervously slides down his trousers and underwear, revealing the last bit of himself to Candy. Except for his tube socks. He wasn't sure what to do about those.

“Can I… move now?” He asked, a tremble in his soft voice.

She cocked her head to the side. “Does it make you nervous? To be seen like this.”

“To be seen like what?”

Candy stood up. “Naked, vulnerable, in full lighting…” She walked over towards him and placed her hands on her chest. “To let someone be able to see every part, every dip…” She felt over the ripples of his stomach muscles. “Every.” Lower. “Single.” Lower. “Inch.” Grabbing onto his hardened cock and began stroking it.

Santi let out a shuttered gasp at the touch of her hand. With her other one she lifted it to his mouth. “Lick, pretty boy.”

He was happy to oblige, not needing to know why. He didn’t need to ask questions with her, he could simply shut off his mind and let Candy guide him… mother knows best. Santi lapped at her palm, keening into it as the wetness smeared on his face.

“Such a good puppy”

The whine that emitted from him was out of him control; he liked the praise, he liked the nickname. He liked it a lot. He had been taught his whole life that sex was for procreation, a dirty thing to be done in shame and in quiet but here she was, proudly jerking him off with the now-wet hand… His mom would have said she was consumed by lust, that the devil had taken her, but Santo saw nothing but kindness in her eyes. Yes, he was paying her, he was well aware of that fact but she did genuinely seem to want to help him, to let him explore, to allow him to care for this basic human instinct… Was this dirty? Was this wrong? He wasn’t sure he cared anymore.

“Doing so good baby boy, are you close?”

He was seconds away from coming. “S-so close.” He had his head thrown back, letting her take the lead on his pleasure.

With that, she wrapped her hand around the base of his cock, stifling his impending orgasm.

“Mierde!” Santiago grunted, body jolting a bit in the physical frustration.

“Relaje, guapo. Trust me, okay? Can you do that?”

He groaned, but complied. Santi trusted her with everything. Right now, he’d follow her into the dark.

*

“Alright, so Pope Santiago will case the churches in his free time. Where does that leave us during the time we actually get paid for?” Javi thought the nickname was fitting for the apparently religious boy.

“I think we need to learn more about his free time.” Javi put out his cigarette. “How about we talk to some girls, see if they know anything?”

Santi narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Girls?”

“Hookers, Pope, hookers.”

“Oh.” 

Javi noticed how he suddenly became so nervous. The boy needed to get laid. The new information of Santi being at least semi-religious was a whole new insight on his psyche. He already seemed to be a bit of a mama’s boy, a goody-two-shoes with a shiny military career and a good heart, but this was a little different. Javier’s family was catholic, as most families were. He had been baptized, first communion, confirmed, the whole jazz but as soon as he’d got annoying enough, his mom stopped bushing the issue. Santi, however, was still practicing.

“I’ll handle that part, Garcia. Don’t worry, I won't drag the Pope into a whore house.”

Javi had no doubt Santi could hold his own in most scenarios. Hell, he’d seen it. In line of fire, interviews, everything Santi could handle. But take him into a room full of prostitutes? Well, they’d eat him alive.

*

“Are you ready for me, pretty boy?” You had him right where you wanted him, right where you liked pretty boys like him that you got to corrupt in moments like this… Santiago was special though, you could tell. He was innocent, but he was far from the most innocent. You’d taken plenty of virginities before, so many you’d lost track of it all, but the way Santiago looked at you right now as he was sat up against the padded headboard of your bed slowly stroking him as your legs straddled his. Santiago looked at you with reverence, adoration, like he was fully submitted below you… as if you had the power, even though it was in his hands as the customer. Yeah, he was a special one. 

 A good, young DEA agent, straightline former military, special Ops and he came to you to show him how to pleasure a woman; not just to have sex, not just to get off, but to learn how to heighten the pleasure of all parties… A church going boy too. 

“Do I need to beg? Because I’ll fucking beg.” His hands were gripped at the sheets, lightning at the knuckles.

“Oh sweet boy, I won’t make you beg, I’m just checking in.” You sit up, rubbing the tip of his cock along your folds. Pulling down the foreskin, you begin to sink down on him, watching his eyes widen as your warmth enveloped him. He filled you right up. Every. Single. Inch.

“Breath baby, breath.” You urge him as you see his lips pressed tight together. 

He did as he was told, releasing a breath. 

“Good job. Now keep breathing, I’m going to finish undressing.” His cock was stuffed into you, and your bottom remained still as your top moved, stipping off your shirt and bra in one. 

It was merely a whisper. “Beautiful…” His eyes were nearly glazed over in lust when you began your work.

Up, down, up, down… you moved on him with your hands on his chest for balance… he seemed almost in shock as he looked in your eyes, only staying momentarily to look at your breasts before quickly looking back at your face as if it was impolite.

“It’s okay to look, Diego. You won’t offend me. You can find me sexy, do you think I’m sexy, Diego?”

“So pretty…” It was gasped out and you could tell he was almost there again.

You began to bounce on him with more vigor and the “You can touch me too”

“I’m… I’m a little scared too…”

Running your fingers through his curls, you ruffle it, enjoying the look of the pristine young man coming undone for you. You take the initiative for him. Hand in hand, you guide him to your breasts, encouraging Santiago to grope and squeeze as he liked and you reveal in the feeling of feeling of his excited pawing. He was enraptured in you, you and him were the only thing that matter right now, and you knew it. You stretched around him,  and you knew it had to be one hell of sight.

“Watch” Pulling him by his curls you guide him to look down where you and him connected, letting him watch the watch your cunt moved to accommodate him, making room to be filled over and over again. “See how my body let’s you in? I was made for you, pretty boy. I was made to take you inside me.”

The thick stretch was bringing you closer, and you knew he was only holding on by a thread himself, so you began to touch yourself. “Focus on that feeling, Diego. The feeling of us together. Can you feel it? I sure can.”

“I- I can, yes.” He was panting now, his bare tanned chest heaving with every bounce of you tits in his hands. 

“Yes what?” But he looked up at you in confusion, a desperation on his face to be good, do good, do this all right. “Yes ma’am”

“Yes ma- ma’ammmm” With that, Santiago’s hits thrust upward into you, his eyes drilled shut and mouth tightly closed in his attempt to muffle his own release.

You did no such thing. As he filled you up, you spilled over yourself and felt the gushing release of your cunt soaking his cock, you yelled out for him, letting him know how good he made you feel. Relaxing onto his chest, Santiago wraps his arms around you like an affection-starved child, and you get a little hint into what you think this was all about.

He needed praise. He needed fondness. He needed skin to skin contact like nothing else right now. He needed to be a good person and do it all right and know he was doing it right. 

Santiago needed to be loved.

*****************

IM BACK

Sorry i know it was a wait lmfao. I posted like 3 chapters of the wrong way sequel before this one lolololol OOPS

But i promise I got a fun plan for this fic! I hope you all enjoy.

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[actual-changeling]

(please do not send any asks with fundraiser links)

Hi, you can call me Alex or whatever variation of my username you'd like. <3

I'm in my early twenties, use mainly they/them pronouns, and there is a lot wrong with my brain (both affectionately and in a decidedly not fun way). I have memory issues, so I can and will forget things, including replying to messages. You are ALWAYS invited to send me a reminder—please, please do, I will not be offended, pinky promise.

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My tag system for original posts applies to all fandoms I am currently actively engaging with and follows the same patterns. I tag spoilers when I remember to for about a week, so consider this blog to be very much NOT spoiler free.

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[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 10: March I

{{ Chapter 9: February I | Chapter 11: April I }} Chapter Directory

the fucking feels i had while writing this chapter kdfskjf

also i used "aniki" for isabel's references to levi because the english translation is "big bro" and i like aniki better so i'm going with that lol

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, idiots in love, mentions of floche being a dick, mentions of grief, graphic (ish) description of a fire, the one bed trope because i'm obsessed with overused cliches ✧ word count ➼ ~5.4k

It's been much too long since you went on a first date. It was at some point during high school when you had met Zack, but even that wasn't really considered a blind first date. The two of you had gotten to know each other through school and things just kind of happened. 

This case with Floche was different. You barely knew him other than the fact that he was persistent.

You were fumbling around your closet, frustrated because you felt like you couldn't find anything acceptable to wear. A part of you knew that what you wore at home when not in your pajamas was fine. Just wearing a t-shirt and jeans to a casual first date was more than okay, but something nagged at you to wear a blouse or skirt.

You were acutely aware of the fact that you dressed differently around others when compared to being around Levi or when you were at home. You were also self-aware enough to know that it had to do with a huge sense of shame. 

You remembered all the passive aggressive comments that Zack would make towards you unless you dressed and acted a certain way. That, plus the distasteful comments your aunt would always give you, meant that you were much too preoccupied with your appearance.

Levi glanced up at you with a disinterested expression as you ran out of your room for the fifth time asking if a certain outfit looked okay. 

He was currently sitting on the couch, pretending to be on his computer typing something, his eyes flashing up multiple times as you were running around the house trying to get yourself together.

"Are you seriously going out with him of all people?"

As soon as you had exchanged numbers with Floche, Levi had the suspicion that something was going on between the two of you, although you never explicitly said what it was. There was an uncomfortable and undesirable feeling building up in his gut, but he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. His mood had soured for the day as soon as he saw you getting ready for this supposed first date. 

It must have been because you were being more rowdy than usual. That was the only explanation.

"What is that supposed to mean?" you asked with a frown.

"Just thought you'd settle for better," Levi said nonchalantly with a shrug.

He figured the increased intensity of his grumpiness was due to the fact that he would now have to deal with you struggling with navigating a relationship on top of everything else that he had to deal with, especially if it was with someone like Floche.

Deep down, Levi knew that his logic was flawed and that there was an additional factor that contributed to his unease regarding your potential new boyfriend, but he really didn't want to spend the brain power thinking about it.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" you asked, your defensive tone increasing with each additional exchange. "He's been..."

It took you a second to figure out the proper words to describe Floche.

"...nice and sweet," you finally said hesitantly.

Levi looked up at you with a skeptical expression, immediately being able to tell that you were trying to convince yourself of that as much as you were trying to convince him.

He didn't know Floche personally, but Levi was generally good at reading people, minus a certain undergrad that decided to suddenly intrude upon his life a few months ago.

Floche was what he would call a stereotypical fuckboy, and stereotypical fuckboys had a habit or pattern of trying to woo someone before disregarding them as soon as they got bored—the "swine" of undergrad culture, as Levi would call it.

"What?!" you scolded, getting increasingly irritated with your roommate's judgy expression.

"You know he's just going to screw you over, right?"

You scoffed.

"And how do you know that?"

"He's a stereotypical fuckboy, what else is there to know?"

The frustration in Levi's voice was beginning to match yours.

Floche wouldn't leave you alone at the Rumbling despite you repeatedly saying that you weren't interested in him. The rational part of you knew that Levi's instincts were right. This date was a bad idea, but part of you wanted to give Floche the benefit of the doubt, as uncertain as you were about it.

"I can take care of myself," you finally mumbled after a few seconds of silence.

Levi stared at you before looking back down towards his laptop without responding.

He knew that. Of course he knew that. You were more than capable of taking care of yourself, but he couldn't shake off that uncomfortable feeling of you going out with someone like Floche. He legitimately did think that you deserved better.

He didn't know who exactly would fit that or what characteristics they would have, but it definitely wouldn't be someone like Floche. The fact that he was even thinking about this was increasing his agitation. He wasn't a matchmaker and it also wasn't his business.

He heard the metal of your keys clicking against each other and he glanced up from his laptop again, watching you open the front door and promptly step out without a single glance back towards him, shutting the door a bit more aggressively than usual.

It seems he wasn't the only one that was pissed at the situation.

~~~~~

"No _____ today?"

"What?" Levi responded sternly as he glanced over at Nicolo, sounding oddly defensive over the innocent and casual question. 

"Just wondering since she's usually in around this time," Nicolo wondered as he wiped down his pastry counter. "Was curious when I noticed you didn't have a Matcha waiting for her."

Nicolo's comment seemed to bother Levi more than he was willing to admit. Levi immediately averted eye contact and went back to quietly working at his station. 

Nicolo's comment wasn't wrong. Levi did develop a habit of prepping a Matcha for you every day. It was always waiting for you by the time you arrived at the café. He even stopped charging you for it earlier last semester. It was a blatant habit to everyone except for Levi. 

The frown on Levi's face grew more and more apparent. He was rarely in a great mood, but he was much grumpier than usual today. He barely responded to any comments and was in his own head for the majority of the shift. He was even being rough and slightly aggressive with his drinks, when he usually handled his teas with great care. 

Something had clearly set him off before coming in for work today.

He heard the door to the café open.

"Hey look, it's aniki*!"

"Quiet down, Izzy!" 

Two people walked into the café that weren't regulars: a highschooler with red ponytails and a blonde male around Levi's age.

"You'll end up giving Levi a stroke with all the attention he's suddenly getting."

These two weren't regulars to the café, but they were regulars in Levi's life. They were what he had effectively called his found family. He had met Farlan in undergrad when he was in the middle of struggling with his lack of financial aid because of his good-for-nothing uncle. Farlan had dealt with something similar the year prior and was able to help him get something sorted out. The two of them had picked up Isabel a year or two later, with Farlan officially adopting her as a younger sister to get her out of an abusive household.

Levi meant what he had said to you all those months ago: not having a "family" didn't have to be lonely. 

He glanced down at his watch and saw that his shift was about over. He made eye contact with Farlan and nodded before walking into the employee storage room to take his apron off and clock out. 

Hanging out with Isabel and Farlan made his mood significantly better. After calming Isabel down, the three of them walked over to a diner around the corner to catch up. It had been almost a year since he had seen them last. Levi was just busy with his studies and time got away from him. It was one of the many things that he wanted to work towards changing.

The last time that he had seen either of them was last year during spring break. Since then, Farlan had been saving up to hopefully move into the city, and to get an apartment to help support Isabel when she went off to college, if that was the route she wanted to take. When they asked Levi what his plans were after graduation, he simply scoffed and mentioned that he didn't even want to think about prospects that far out, given how early he was into his graduate career.

Although both of them had significant life updates, when it came to Levi to talk about what had changed in the past year, he found himself unsure of what to say. He still lived in this cramped town and he still attended the same university. 

The only thing that really changed was you.

"Not really anything of significance," was all he said.

~~~~~

It was already 10pm by the time Levi got home. He had spent the evening hanging out with Isabel and Farlan, electing to go to a local arcade after grabbing dinner. It was late for him. He wasn't necessarily tired, given the fact that he never really slept anyway, but he rarely stayed out past 8pm voluntarily. 

Since it was so late, he was surprised when he saw someone in front of the door to the lobby of your apartment complex. 

Upon walking closer, he recognized their figure. It was you.

You were sitting on the steps leading up to the door, with your face buried into your knees. Your body was tense and you looked like you were shaking.

"What, did your dumb ass lock yourself out again?" he asked in a disinterested tone as he walked up to you.

You flinched as he stepped up to you and you looked up at him with a somewhat dumbfounded expression. Your eyes were slightly swollen and your nose was red. Your hair was messy and disheveled. Your eyes were wide, as if you were surprised to see him.

"Shit," you whispered as you immediately wiped away any stray tears. "Thought you'd be home already."

You found yourself out here because you weren't ready to see Levi. You thought he'd be home already, so you wanted to take some time to sit outside and gather yourself and make it look like you weren't sobbing for the past hour.

You didn't have to say what happened. He could already deduce that your date didn't go well. 

Levi chose not to say anything and just sat down on the steps right next to you.

"How long have you been here?"

"Not long," you said with a sniffle as you rubbed at one of your eyes. "Maybe like 45 minutes."

"Seems pretty long to me."

You slightly pushed against his shoulder with yours in retaliation for his retort. 

He was glancing down at you. Of course, he was curious over what happened, but didn't pry. He knew you. If you wanted to talk, you'd talk, whether he asked for it or not. It was incredibly annoying when the two of you first met, but it's one of the qualities he's come to appreciate about you. At least with him, you said what was on your mind.

"He blew me off," you spoke quietly as you looked down at the ground.

"Hmm?"

"Floche," you clarified, frowning. "He blew me off. And then not 10 minutes later, I find him on the phone, talking about I'm just-"

Your words trailed off as you felt your breath get caught in your throat. The tears were threatening to come on again.

Levi remained quiet but watched you intently, giving you time to gather yourself to form your words. Whether you were originally planning on telling him anything or not, he was there to listen. 

"-h-how I'm just a pity date," you whispered finally, burying your face in your knees again, almost as if you were ashamed to face Levi. "So I guess you were right."

Your voice came out muffled.

Levi wasn't surprised at this information. Those "I told you so" thoughts ran through his head. It had been less than 12 hours since he blatantly told you that Floche was going to do something to fuck you over—but he didn't voice that.

He watched you as you quietly cried, your face hidden underneath your arms. He felt an uncomfortable weight build up in his chest and he was almost tempted to even lift his arm in a vain attempt at comforting you. He didn't know if that would help or make it worse.

"I'm so fucking pathetic."

"What?" he asked after you finally spoke again.

"I couldn't even get this dumb sophomore to like me long-term. I don't know what I was thinking," you mumbled as you looked back up, using the sleeve of your jacket to wipe away the tears that had recently fallen. 

At this point, your cheeks felt sore and raw from how often you've had to wipe away the tears. You felt a headache rapidly approaching and there was so much pressure building up in your sinuses that you felt like your head was going to explode. 

"I think I was lonely and wanted to forget the shit that's happened in previous relationships," you muttered quietly. It was unclear if you were talking to Levi or yourself. "And of course that blew up in my face. It was dumb of me to think otherwise. It's just how things always are and always will be."

Levi didn't speak at first, but his eyebrows scrunched together at your comment as he looked at you with skepticism on his face. He wasn't sure what merit your comment had or what was going on through your head to make you want to say something like that.

Whatever you were referring to within yourself seemed irrelevant as to why your date fell apart to him. The only factor that contributed to that was the fact that Floche was a dick. Nothing that you did or didn't do was to blame. The fact that you spoke in such a fatalistic way confused the shit out of him.

"Well, what are you going to do now?" he asked in a matter-of-fact tone while continuing to look down at you. "Sit here all night?"

Your finger tapped on your knee as you remained silent, as if you were nervous to say what was on your mind. 

"Can you...can you stay by me?" you finally asked.

Levi scoffed.

"We live together, where the fuck am I going to go?"

"I mean here," you said with a frown. "Can you stay with me for a bit?"

Levi blinked at you a few times, as if he was genuinely surprised by the request. After a few seconds he cleared his throat and nodded.

You responded by shuffling a bit closer to him. Before you knew it, you found yourself leaning on him with your head resting against his shoulder. He was leaning back and propping himself up with his arms, which made contact with your back. 

Having him this close felt oddly natural. You just naturally leaned into him and he naturally drew you in. You didn't tense upon feeling him and he didn't pull away when you leaned into him. There was no tension or awkwardness. There was just...him—and that was exactly what you needed right now.

You took a deep breath, appreciating how unexpectedly nice it felt to be against him.

You mumbled something underneath your breath.

"What?" Levi asked.

"I wish more guys were like you," you mumbled as you twiddled your thumbs together.

Levi glanced down at you without moving, not really knowing how to respond.

"Even though you can be a bit of an ass."

He rolled his eyes and slightly nudged at you in protest. Given the fact that you were leaning on him, you were rudely removed from your comfortable position, although it was only for a moment, with you immediately falling back into your original spot.

If you weren't so caught up in your own head, you might've noticed just how closely you were leaning against him or the fact that he was leaning forward to be closer to you instead of leaning further back and away.

If you weren't so caught up in your own head, you might've noticed how comfortable you were around him, or how interacting with him no longer felt effortful.

If you weren't so caught up in your own head, then you might have been able to realize that you really wouldn't mind if you had someone like him be a bit more involved in your life.

Being around him was easy.

~~~~~

There was too much chaos around you. The smell of smoke and gasoline permeated the air. There was a ringing in your head and you couldn't actually hear anything. Your vision was blurry.

You vaguely heard your parents call out your name before everything faded to black. 

You took a sharp inhale and shot straight up in bed, heaving. Your pulse was going through the roof and you felt like you were drenched in your own sweat. 

You were in your bedroom. The lights were off and it was in the middle of the night. 

There was no fire. There was no smoke or gas. There was no one that called your name.

You looked forward with unfocused eyes as you tightly gripped onto the blanket.

It was the fourth or fifth time that you have had this nightmare within this one night alone. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw some vague scene that involved a plane crashing into a fire before everything rushed past you and left you standing alone. 

You weren't there for the scene of your parents' death, so the visualization was different every time. You could remember the dream in vivid detail every single time. You could barely control your shaking and you had lost track of when the tears first started streaming out of your eyes. 

Looking at the clock, you saw it was still early into the night: 1am. At this rate, you wouldn't last the night. You kept waking up every twenty minutes from the same nightmare and would wake up more and more distressed every single time. 

You didn't want to go back to sleep, but you didn't want to just be alone in your room the entire time either. While the nightmare had a weaker hold on you while you were awake, you still couldn't get it out of your head.

You sniffled and wiped away your tears for the millionth time that night. You weren't sure what to do. You couldn't focus enough to do any work or to even scroll mindlessly through your phone.

Someone shuffled on the other side of your bedroom wall and you glanced over towards Levi's room. He was awake. Of course he was awake.

Without thinking, you got up out of your room, grabbed the throw over blanket from the couch, and walked towards his room. You raised your hand to knock on his door.

You froze and hesitated. While you had gotten up from your bed and moved to this physical location without a second thought just a moment ago, now you were questioning why you were even here.

This is stupid. Why am I bothering him?

"What do you want?" 

You heard his voice and froze, realizing that he had heard and likely saw you fumbling around through the open crack in his door. You glanced inside and saw that he was sitting on his bed, reading.

You were kind of shy about what it was that drew you to his room and looked towards the ground, unsure of how to explain yourself.

Levi finally glanced up towards you.

"Spit it out," he said curtly.

"I..."

He had heard you tossing and turning throughout the past hour or two, so he figured it had something to do with not being able to sleep, although that still didn't explain why you were suddenly standing in his doorway.

"I don't want to be alone," you mumbled quietly. A part of you hoped that he didn't even hear you, but he did.

Levi blinked at you a few times, the frown disappearing off his face. Given the combination of the tossing and turning and how upset you seemed from just your body posture alone, he implicitly understood what was going on.

Even if it had nothing to do with the nightmares, you just weren't in a great state and he was able to tell.

"Come in," he mumbled and sighed.

You slowly scooched your way into his room.

Not wanting you to sleep in the chair, he scooched towards the edge of the bed and then patted his hand down on the opposite side. 

"Just don't get the sheets dirty. I just did the laundry."

If you weren't so distressed, you'd probably make some snarky comment regarding being careful to not get his sheets "dirty", but you instead just silently crawled onto his bed, wrapping yourself in the throw over blanket you brought over from the couch.

Seeing that you were settled, he shuffled and began to get up to go read in the chair to give you space.

However, before he could even throw his feet over the side of the bed, he felt you grab at his arm.

"Wait," you said quietly with uncertainty and a hint of fear in your voice, "don't go."

His eyes went from looking at your hand on his arm to your eyes.

"Please?"

An annoyed expression appeared on his face, although it wasn't directed at you for once. He silently cursed at himself as he laid back down, being pissed that he gave into you—but at the same time, he understood.

You just needed someone to be next to you.

It wasn't like you took up that much space anyway. He continued reading his book as you tightly hugged your blanket, struggling to fall back asleep. You were still scared to close your eyes.

His eyes flashed down towards your figure as he noticed you still shuffling restlessly.

"If you can't sleep, get up and do something."

He's fought with insomnia long enough to be able to tell when it was just a night where it was difficult to sleep and when it was a night in which he wouldn't be getting any sleep at all. Most of all, he knew it was no use tossing and turning in bed for the entire night—might as well get up and try to walk off some of the restlessness.

You buried your face into his pillow, frustrated. 

You were immediately hit with a mix of various scents: fresh laundry, the residual musky scent of his cologne from his clothes that smelled...smooth? You couldn't quite put words to it. It brought you a weird sense of comfort.

"I keep dreaming about my parents," you mumbled, your voice getting muffled through the pillow.

He glanced down at you.

"Yeah?" he asked, closing his book and putting it on his nightstand. 

"The way they died," you muttered, looking up from the pillow, although half your face was still buried. "I haven't really thought about it since high school, but the dreams kept on coming tonight."

You groaned.

"This has only happened a few times, but it's terrible when it does."

He watched as your eyebrows furrowed together into a frown. You were glaring at his headboard now.

"It's been years already," you grumbled. "You'd think I'd be over it by now, but I'm not and I hate that I'm not."

A part of you knew that the only reason that you were this emotionally vulnerable was because of the bullshit that had happened with Floche earlier in the night throwing your entire body out of whack when it came to emotional processing. Everything stung more than it would have otherwise.

Now that you thought about it, the few other times that you did have nightmares usually occurred right after you had a big fight with Zack.

"What have you done before?" Levi asked, nudging you.

"What?" you asked, finally lifting your face from his pillow.

"You mentioned this has happened a few times? How did you cope?"

You looked away from him, thinking for a few seconds over how to respond, or even trying to recall what you did previously.

"Nothing really," you finally said. "My...My ex didn't really want to deal with me when it happened, so I'd either sleep on the couch or just stay up for the rest of the night. Eventually it'd go away."

The frown on Levi's face returned upon hearing about Zack's behavior towards you when distressed. Not wanting to "deal with you" seemed like shit behavior at best.

"You said you lived with your ex before here?"

"For around two years," you said with a nod before pausing. "The more I think about it, the more I realize that it wasn't the best time."

"Living with them?"

You gave Levi a grim expression.

"He wasn't particularly the best boyfriend either."

An empty look appeared in your eyes as you recalled memories of your relationship with Zack. It had started out normal, but quickly evolved into a relationship that was controlling in which Zack was a combination of being a dick, negligent, jealous, and an unhealthy mix of other types of controlling behavior that could only spell out the word 'shitshow'.

"Whatever," you mumbled, your mood now considerably worse. You laid back down to try to sleep again.

"I journal."

Levi spoke up before you could fully lay back down.

You gave him a confused look.

"Or grab an ice cube. Worst case, I go on a drive."

It's been a while, but having recurrent nightmares wasn't an unfamiliar experience for Levi. He's dealt with them long enough and often enough that he was able to come up with some quick coping skills to help calm his mind down. It was similar to when he used box breathing to calm you down from an anxiety attack. He had learned all this through experience. He knew what you were going through—particularly when it came to the untimely (and to be quite frank, traumatic) death of a parent figure.

You remained silent as you laid back down, facing away from him, repeating what he said in your head as you drew circles with your finger on the sheets. Levi also happened to deal with the same thing. You weren't sure if it was just the universe playing an ironic joke on you at this point. 

You heard him get up to switch off the lights before coming back to lay down on the opposite side of the bed.

"Remember: if you can't sleep, go do something."

Despite the apparent persistence of your insomnia and the anxiety that would arise any time you closed your eyes, the knowledge of what Levi had told you, plus his consistent presence next to you, eventually did lull you into the calm of the sleep that your body and mind so desperately needed.

~~~~~

You were fast asleep and for once, so was Levi.

Levi's insomnia was generally relentless. This was the first time in months that he was able to stay asleep for more than 20 minutes, not to mention two hours. 

Even when he did fall asleep, he couldn't ever say that it was comfortable, but that's how he felt right now. He felt at peace for once and he found himself actively not wanting to open his eyes. He rarely got to fall asleep as well as he did just now and a part of him wanted to cherish it.

He was warm in a lulling and comfortable way that was cozy and pleasant. It was a strange sensation for him. 

He finally peeled his eyes open and completely froze once he realized there was another person in his bed.

Levi was momentarily confused as to where he was or who it was that he currently had his arm wrapped around. You were pulled up against him, with his arm wrapped around your waist. His face was buried in your hair, which smelled like your bodywash and the lotion that he usually got annoyed of smelling in the bathroom. It smelled oddly nice now.

His face flared up once he realized what was happening. He immediately pulled away, taking care to not accidentally wake you up. He cursed to himself, annoyed that he even let you sleep in his bed with him. 

He groaned as he began to sit up and get off the bed, rubbing his eyes with his hand to try to shake his nerves off. He should've just kicked you out once he decided to also sleep. 

He froze as you began to shuffle in your sleep, watching as you rolled over to face him. He looked at your face that was relaxed, with the stress from the former night and proceeding nightmares nowhere to be found. He held his gaze there for a few seconds.

Levi wasn't an idiot. He knew that he cared for you in some capacity now, although he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that development. It just brought complications in his life that he didn't need.

It also didn't help that he wasn't entirely grossed out by the fact that he had woken up with you in his arms. In fact, the only part that did gross him out was that he technically did it without you knowing or prompting for it.

He felt heat slowly rising up into his cheeks again while looking at you.

You actually looked quite adorable when you were able to sleep peacefully like this.

Levi immediately planted his face into his hand upon having that thought, holding himself there in frustration. 

He peeked at you through his fingers, confused and irritated over the thoughts swirling around in his head. He vigorously shook his head after a few seconds, as if he was trying to literally shake the thoughts out of his head. 

Levi rolled over towards his nightstand and tapped on his phone to check the time: 4am. He had fallen asleep for around two hours and it was too early for him to realistically get up if he didn't want to be absolutely miserable the next day.

He sighed and got up off the bed, picking up the edge of the blanket and bunching it up so that it was bundled in between his body and yours so that he didn't end up accidentally cuddling you again. 

His sleep for the next few hours felt more typical to his usual nights: simply drifting in and out every 20-30 minutes.

When you finally woke up, Levi had already gotten up. He was next to you, reading in bed again. There was a cup of tea next to him, indicating that he had been up for a while—or at least long enough for him to brew the beverage for himself. 

"About time," he grumbled without looking down at you.

"Hmm?" you mumbled groggily as you tried to rub the sleepiness from your eyes.

"You were hogging the blankets all night," he said with a frown, blatantly ignoring the fact that you had technically brought your own blanket into his room. "Barely got any sleep. Get out."

You turned to look at him, matching his frown.

"Liar. I heard you get up and lay back down earlier."

You weren't completely awake for it, but you vaguely remembered feeling Levi shuffle around before laying back down. You knew in some capacity that he had actually gotten some sleep.

Levi stared at you with a blank expression.

"...Whatever," he eventually mumbled. "Think what you want."

He was caught off-guard by your comment. He wasn't sure what disturbed him more: the fact that he had you pulled up against him or the fact that you were somewhat awake while he was having those conflicting thoughts.

He was beyond irritated at himself. He let you into his room and sleep in his bed next to him because he knew that you were scared to be alone, and what made it more distressing was that he did it because he didn't want you to be scared or to feel alone.

Levi Ackerman couldn't deny that he cared about you—and he absolutely hated that he cared.

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman

[karenandhenwillson]

The enthusiasm about Bucktommy has brought out some conversations about the family Eddie, Chris, and Buck have built that leave me honestly a little speechless. Mostly because it's all so focused on this idealized idea of a nuclear family despite fandom usually being all for found family.

I've seen discussions in the past about some people bemoaning the fact that others seemingly put the traditional roles of a nuclear family on the members of the 118. I honestly never got that impression at all, but maybe I'm just really good in avoiding the really strange fanfiction by studying the tags. So I feel a little startled to now be in the position of this person saying "Why do you press everything into this nuclear family dynamic?"

There are many people who claim that any serious LI for Buck or Eddie (of course mostly focused on Buck right now) would utterly destroy the dynamic most of us have come to love in the Buckley-Diaz family. I call utter bullshit to that. They claim that either Buck or Eddie finding a serious LI would force them to break away from their friendship.

The funny thing is that we already have seen in this show how there can be very successfully built a family around two parents who aren't in a relationship (anymore in this case) whit both finding new partners. They did a beautiful job of showing how the friendship between Athena and Michael developed during and after their separation. They also created a wonderful friendship between the existing adults in the family and the new partners, and to show how these new partner stepped into the role of additional parents without replacing either Athena or Michael.

Oh, I already see people rising to argue against this comparison. "But they were married!"; "But they are the children’s biological parents!" (or worse: "But they are both actually the parents and not playing pretend!"); "But that was a hetero couple!" (Yeah, not getting into the semantics here.); "But Michael has legal obligations!".

So what? Do you really think biological relationships or legal relationships trump emotional relationships? I'd argue that any emotional relationship is ten times more important than any biological or legal relationship. There are people out there who don't give a fuck about their biological children because they don't have a emotional relationship with them. And others who don't give a fuck about any legal responsibilities.

We have seen numerous times how deep the connection between Buck, Eddie, and Chris is. We have seen Eddie fight to give his son a good life, to find him the best possible support. We have seen Buck relentlessly search for Chris after they got separated in the tsunami and have seen him take care of Chris when he was on the brink of breaking apart himself over watching Eddie getting shot right in front of him. We have seen Chris seek out Buck for support and council, and plotting pranks with Buck to play on his father.

There is no need for those emotional bonds to go away to find romantic partners who might have the potential to become life partners. And in Chris' case, I'm pretty sure there is no force at all that could break his emotional attachment to Buck or Eddie as long as neither of them does something to utterly break his trust.

Sure, there are a lot of people out in the world who wouldn't stand for stepping into that kind of dynamic without changing it. (And I have no doubt that everyone crying over how Eddie and Buck's friendship would need to break to make room for a LI are exactly that kind of people who expect their partner to be only friends with them.) But there are equally as many people out there who'd embrace the family Buck, Eddie, and Chris have built and who'd work hard to become part of that family instead of replacing anyone in it.

I think the biggest stumbling block for the Buckley-Diaz family is everyone pressuring Eddie into finding a woman to share his life with. He didn't even want to date until his aunt pressured him into it. And that's the only reason Marisol is even in the picture! Because his family and even Bobby are actively enforcing this idea in his head that for a family to exist, for a father to be happy, there needs to be a mother in the family's life.

It's coming back to this same bullshit idea that the only viable family model is a nuclear family with two parents and 2.5 children. Single parents are bad because a child needs a mother and a father otherwise the child will be utterly ruined. (And to remind all of you, people coming up with that line usually also claim: Queer parents are doubly bad because there needs to be a mother and a father!)

Buck, Eddie, and Chris could be perfectly fine to add to their family with LIs for Buck and Eddie. They just need to ignore these voices (from Eddie's family and from the fandom) that try to dictate to them how their family should work. They just need to find people who are open minded and willing to step into their existing family. And we have seen with Bobby and David that there are some great people out there who are very willing to do something like that!

[eeveecraft]

Guess Who's Back

That's right. It's us, the Dragonheart System. We're fucking back.

[Rylazide] Hi, everyone, I hope everyone is okay and is having a good day!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, our blog got terminated without warning:

Just... out of the blue, no warning, no reason given. As you can imagine, I was kinda freaked out, but I calmed down and contacted support.

We were stuck, waiting for Tumblr to do something for multiple days, and as you can imagine, it wasn't fun, not knowing whether or not 4+ years of our system's history, informative posts, and more were just... gone for good! Well, they're not.

And from some people who were looking out for us (you know who you are, thank you for being thoughtful towards us) basically let us know that sh!t kind of hit the fan in the Plurality space on Tumblr because of it. This is because the timing of our account termination was just... too suspicious. Literally soon before our blog got fucked, I reblogged a reblog from Sophie about that one system who said some pretty sh!tty things about us in an attempt to counter this post, and all my addition to the post was was just asking Sophie if she could provide evidence for her claims. Because what she was saying about that system would explain a lot of their behavior in the "tulpa = appropriation" discourse and would basically out them as a fake endogenic-supporter, but then... our account was nuked after that reblog was made.

Look, I'm going to be straight with every system here:

Tumblr Trust and Safety never stated WHY our account got terminated. Not when our account was initially terminated, nor when it was reinstated. In posts on both our Youtube and Plural.Cafe accounts, I said it could've been possible that we were mass-reported by sysmeds. I said this because that's exactly what happened to @sophieinwonderland over a year ago, and given the timing, it's not a crazy assumption to make because of the circumstances and history preceding it.

It just seemed a little odd for our account out of the 4+ years we've had it to be nuked during the height of what can metaphorically be described as a war in the #tulpa tags. Especially after we criticized the 'counter' to our original post, or the post by that one syscourse blog we have blocked to name-drop us could've absolutely stirred a bunch of sysmeds to witch-hunt us. It's happened before, it absolutely can happen again.

But, I can't say for sure because Tumblr decided to be frustratingly vague. However, I think a good way to know for sure is to see if these sysmed fucks try that sh!t again, then we'll know for sure. Because again, when Sophie's account was brought back the first time, sysmeds got it taken down a second time. It was so bad that Sophie had to personally ask Tumblr Trust and Safety to whitelist her account from mass-flagging. If we get terminated a second time, we're going to do the same thing Sophie did.

Also, please, please do NOT go after the system who originally criticized my post. After Sophie called them out for potentially being the reason our account got terminated and for spreading disinformation, they were apparently so stressed that they got hospitalized because they have trauma over having disinformation spread about them (you'd think they wouldn't do that if they personally know how harmful it is, but sadly, the abused are more likely than the average person to continue the cycle of abuse and become abusers themselves. It's really sad.).

Does it excuse them saying blatantly false things, spreading harmful disinformation about several users, and potentially (cannot confirm) encouraging sysmeds to mass-report our blog by name-dropping us and saying things that would absolutely encourage sysmeds to mass-report and silence us? Nope. There's no excuse. I don't care how traumatized they are, being traumatized is NO excuse to turn around and do the same to others. Plain and simple.

But still, it sucks that this happened to them, and I hope they're okay. Like, sure, I fucking hate sysmeds, anti-endos, whatever the fuck, I hate the harm they've done to not only us, but so many other people, and how they actively tear the community apart when we need to stick together and look out for each other. However, I don't wish any harm on sysmeds, only that they eventually let go of that bitterness and learn that what they did was wrong and stop doing it. We don't need to stoop to their level; they're just a loud minority that doesn't have any actual footing to stand on besides pure emotion and bigotry.

Anyway, I'm rambling and am going to shut up now. I'm sorry our account getting fucked caused such a stir in the community. Let's just hope it doesn't happen again.

7-31-2023

[coastober]

Hi! Welcome to the Coastober Tumblr Blog!

You might be wondering what Coastober even is, having stumbled upon this by either some fluke or by someone you know taking part. Either way, Coastober is a design challenge created by @rose-grimm-spirit-does-dumb-shit that runs throughout October where you make a design a day based on a ride or attraction designated for that day. So for an example from last year, the 7th of October was designated for The Dragon at Legoland Windsor.

Anyone can take part, however I thought it'd be good to answer any potential questions you may have as well as a general rundown for those who haven't really taken part in stuff like this before!

FAQ

Are you affiliated with/copying CoasterMaynia?

First things first, nope to both. If we ever end up teaming up for whatever reason then this may change but for now they don't know Coastober exists, I also made Coastober before I had any idea that CoasterMaynia existed as I started this back before I was properly in the Tumblr Thoosie circles!

Does Coastober ONLY focus on coasters?

Nope! We actually focus on a healthy mix of coasters, flat rides, and scare attractions! This is another thing that sets us apart from CoasterMaynia.

When does the official lineup for the year come out?

It'll likely come out in September, this is because the "Official" Coastober prompt list is based off my own lineup and since I'm an avid Fright Nights fan I always wait till we have our official event lineup released so I can throw in our newest addition.

Do I have to follow the official prompt lineup to take part?

Nah, if you want you can create your own list for that year and it'll still count! Besides, I can't guarantee that you'll always like the look of my picks and since I like to throw in scare-attractions too there's some that might make you a lil' uncomfy to look into.

The official list I'd say should be taken more as like a guideline or "Hey here's something you can follow if you wanna challenge yourself or can't think of one", it's not absolute sacriledge if you don't use it y'know.

What should I do with my designs during/after Coastober?

Whatever you want! I personally put 'em up for ota and watch people snap 'em up but what you do with them is entirely your call, you could even end up trading coastobers with other participants if you find you've both got designs the other really likes!

What if I'm busy or life happens so I can't finish on time?

Easy, just don't sweat it and take your time. The aim of Coastober isn't to whack out designs one after the other but to learn more about the themed-ents world, push your art and designing skills and have fun. If you have to take a break, miss a day, or even fail to finish within the month then that's okay, feel free to finish everything at a time when you're more capable and available.

After all, october is quite the busy month for thoosies after all and looking after yourself is priotity!

How To Coastober

Pick your lineup. You can either go the official lineup or make your own, both work. Though if you're a little stuck, here's a nifty comparison of the two.

2. Get prepped! While this step isn't exactly nesecary, it certainly does not hurt to do a bit of pre-Coastober research and idea rotating in the run-up. It helps the process flow easier when you're actually doing it!

3. Get going! The time has come, October is here! So grab your pens and snatch your pencils and get designing, remember to both credit myself {Spirit} for the concept of Coastober and tag your designs with #coastober on tumblr so this account can find and reblog them!

Other Useful Info

Account Mods This account is currently ran by: - @rose-grimm-spirit-does-dumb-shit {The Creator of Coastober} - @cherrykitkat

Prompts Lists, both past and present - 2024 OFFICIAL LIST {Will be added when made}

Fun Facts Coastober's been going on since 2021, this year however {2024} is the first year I'm actually making a proper effort to make it more accessible to others! That's why the prompts list will only go up to 2024!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

https://twitter.com/RequestBTSRadio/status/1714121533864513936

so they sent his WHOLE ALBUM to radio but can't even sent atleast title tracks of other members? WOAHHHH. or their western collabs ? Not JM's no.1 song ? Not OTS or CLOSER which had even more potential than these western reject songs ? How can you all be completely think this is ok ? You all suddenly throw yours ethics out of window because its your fav member ? Everytime excuse it away when JK is the biggest industry plant rn.. I just wanna say no matter how desperately they want him to be an established pop star it's not gonna happen. He's always gonna be a kpop member who release generic song in English for western validation.

***

It's fine if you want to complain. Anyone who thinks other members' songs should be sent to radio is free to say so, tag HYBE, email BigHit, etc. You disagree with how BigHit/HYBE America is promoting the first full English album from a BTS member relative to the other solo debuts. Sure, that's valid.

All that talk about ethics and whatnot sounds insane to me though. There's no use saying it at this point but Anon, you've become completely sucked in, you've picked up the Frankenstein language of the overinvested stan transferring their aggression to Jungkook.

Getting songs sent to radio doesn't make one an 'industry plant', talk less the biggest one, and much less for a guy who could sell out stadiums if he announced a tour today. It would be great to hear Closer or Hectic by RM on radio, same with Amygdala or Polar Night; Future, Alone, and For Us would be great additions too. Heck, Coldplay literally wrote The Astronaut and it sounds like a radio hit so it should've gotten a good push as well. But they didn't and of course it's okay to feel upset and communicate that to the company. But I also love that Jungkook is getting this push, and with a full English album, the first run by HYBE America (by all appearances), I think songs sent to radio is what to expect. Nobody from BTS will likely ever get full Western validation, and Jungkook's back-to-back hits of mid songs certainly aren't helping all that much, but it's true Jungkook is doing well, making more fans and leaving his mark. Just as the other members have done and will continue to do with even stronger impact. None of them are stupid and they are aware of their situations. I trust them to handle their business.

What ticks you off is that you feel you'll have to stream more, buy more, put more effort in than JJKs to get the same results. You're pissed off more for yourself than you are about Jimin. Which is fine. But Jimin is fine too lol. The way y'all talk about that man makes me wonder if you actually know him, or if when we talk about Jimin, we're talking about the same person.

What Jimin wants, he ultimately gets. When he really wants something he makes sure he gets it, in the way that works best for him. I've seen him win, get his way, make his way in moments, weeks, months, and years. His documentary is literally around the corner that will confirm yet again, that this is the sort of person he is. I'm not trying to be clever or make excuses, in my mind this is really what I think. It's fine if you disagree but don't send me asks like this chuck full of your frustration. I really don't relate.

[whump-card]

Okay, I did a little investigating of how blocked and the new semi-blocked tags seem to work now(Jan 2024), particularly in relation to #lady whump. Bear with me, it's a long post (but it's half pictures!)

(I actually did a whole write-up of how they used to work but I never got around to posting it and now... things are different!)

DESKTOP FIRST: I tested the following with "Hide additional potentially mature content" both ON and OFF - it's the same on desktop wither way, because that setting has to do with the mobile app. All my community labels are set to "show."

First, there's the classically blocked tag, like #restraints:

Clicking on this tag used to take you to tumblr.com/TAGGED/restraints, and show the above with no content, but now it takes you to tumblr.com/SEARCH/restraints, and shows the above with no content. Manually typing in 'tagged' redirects you to 'search.'

Additionally, posts tagged with a tag like this do not show up in the feed of any other tags. If you tag your post with a fully blocked tag, you're throwing it into the void - you may as well have not tagged it with anything at all, only your followers and people directly reading your blog will see it.

But now there seems to be another level: clicking on a tag such as #nsfw takes you to tumblr.com/SEARCH/nsfw, but it shows content now! Additionally, posts tagged with #nsfw DO show up in the feed of other tags, as long as they have the Mature Community Label.

But WAIT! There's a third level! clicking on #lady whump takes you to a search instead of a tag, like #nsfw, but there's no warning, and posts without community labels appear. These posts are still able to appear in other tag feeds.

What's the big deal? You can't follow these tags. Take a look at what happens when you click on #whump, a 'safe' tag:

You are taken to tumblr.com/TAGGED/whump, and you also get this sidebar, which appeared on none of the previous pages:

You can follow #whump, and see posts from it on your dashboard if you wish. You can also explore related tags. You are unable to do this with tags that redirect to 'search.'

NOW (iOS) MOBILE:

If you have "Hide additional potentially mature content" OFF, searching #lady whump shows this:

And if you've got it turned ON, it shows this:

And posts tagged with #lady whump won't show up in the feeds of other tags for someone with this setting on, though it still appears on your dashboard if you follow the person, and on their blog if you go directly to it.

To sum up: on desktop, the limitation of #lady whump isn't as bad as it could be - but the "Hide additional potentially mature content" is ON by default, and many people aren't even aware of it, causing some real kneecapping on mobile.

I'm not about to make any sweeping declarations about how to handle this. The way #nsfw works now, allowing posts with the proper community label, is honestly kind of nice (even though it's only on desktop) - but limiting #lady whump as "mature content" is really unfortunate.

I guess: friendly reminder, especially to those newer among us, to check your settings and make sure that you're able to see all the stuff you want to be able to see. If you post content, check the tags you use to make sure you're not accidentally condemning your post to the void.

This is all investigation with no conclusion. I'd love to hear what other people think.

[demonsfate]

This is me quoting my "gatekeeping Jin" post (it's still on my profile if you recognize who I am) by extending it with a few of my thoughts:

"Looks like a lot more people agree with me on this one than I thought.

Long story short: Jin is a good character who is now sadly a wasted potential (because of T6 atrocious OOC writing and what not) and I'm saddened by that. However, the hate and slander against him is getting boring and repetitive to the point where it's annoying and I frankly don't have any more fucks to give. You're free to dislike or hate him, but you won't change the others' persprective on him by saying what he did in T6 for milionth of time as if we don't know that already. Find a better hobby. Get fucking real.

And to my fellow Jin fans: keep strong, comrades. You have my back. ❤️"

But yeah, just adding my two cents to this conversation.

Yeah! I remember ya! Still an epic post.

And very good addition! I should really start ignoring it more, which I do try to... and I did for a while there. But sadly, the reveal of the first four minutes of 8 seemed to... reignite the flames and those people became even more vocal than before. And like, I get it, if you want Jin to not be redeemed or die or you hate his character, whatever. But it's when they start saying the more sillier comments is when it just irks me. I'm talking about the acting like Kazuya is a much better person than Jin, not acknowledging how Tek6 is indeed poorly written, or acknowledging it yet expecting Jin fans to just... accept it rather than continue liking the character for what he was and being critical of Tek6 and wanting to see his original characterization return. It's even more annoying when on my main blog, I make a gif set or post regarding him and I get people who say shit like "Jin deserves [bad things]" or bringing up "Jin started a war!!111!!!" Whilst, luckily, it's only a handful of people who do that on my posts - but stiiiiiiill annoying!!! Like I don't care!!!

I've almost gotten to the point where I just wanna say that I fully endorse Jin's actions in Tekken 6 and that I forgive him solely because he's too pretty to be mad at. BUT that'd be a little too petty and not really worth my time.

But like, that's why I also talk about it a lot here, rather than going to tags, or other posts, or on Reddit. Because there's just no reason for me to argue with people about it since it's really hard to change internet folks' minds, and I don't think most care to. They clearly just bash on him because they've never liked him as a character. So here I have a way of expressing my feelings without getting into pointless online arguments that go nowhere lol

It's always nice to know that even if there's a bunch of people who's annoying about this, at least there's other like-minded fans to understand and discuss the character with. :')

[writingforcuteppl]

I was debating if I should say something about the next thing but I think it is necessary. So someone has been requesting Tumblr to add community labels on my smut posts which I mean if it has the “Keep Reading” division it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, at least for me, and if you are able to see the warnings and you don’t like it then just ignore.

But seems that someone's going after my posts. And before someone tells me no one is actually behind my posts, as a reader that also enjoys reading content from other authors, they also have the "Keep Reading" division and the warnings before the division and they do not have a community label, because as I said, before the labels were added, writers always wrote the warnings so the reader was able to see what the fic was about. Which again wouldn’t be that big of a deal right? Well, the night I posted one of my smuts and added the label before posting it, I realized that it didn’t have any interactions for two hours, which was weird. That’s when I noticed it was that label I added, right after I took that label off, like magic it started to have interactions.

The thing is, as I said, someone has been “reporting” my posts so Tumblr can add the label (just a way to call it, I'm aware it’s not an actual report) which is really bothering me since once Tumblr adds the label I CAN’T remove the said label.

I realized that Tumblr, by default, has the setting for said community labels as “Hide” meaning that if you as the person who has a Tumblr account don’t change this setting manually, you won’t be able to see the posts that have community labels. And the worst thing is if you’re on IOS you cannot change those settings on the app, you need to be on a desktop to change those settings.

This post is only for you to know that if you cannot see specific posts on my blog (not only on mine but also on other writers' blogs) it's because of the community labels. And the only way to see those posts is If you go to Settings>Account>Content You See>Community Labels and then select "Show" on the ones you want to see.

Also as you can see you need to deactivate the option that says "Hide additional potentially mature content" if you have the iOS app

Just on a final note. Thank you to all of you who have been reading my stuff, you don't know how happy it makes me to know you are enjoying it. I always appreciate feedback, I don't bite I promise.

Also using the tags for the fandoms I write for so people can see this post.

[naryrising]

Are you still an AO3 Support volunteer? I was wondering why AO3 doesn't allow sorting bookmarks by word count? And whether anyone has suggested this as a future improvement to potentially work towards?

Yes, I am. And yes, they have. I mean this in the nicest possible way, dear anon, but nearly everything has been suggested. We have support requests going back over a decade, we know with great confidence what changes and improvements users would like. (Even if we weren't all regular users of the site who know, based on our own experience, what features it would be nice to have!) We get about 50-75 support tickets per day on an average day currently, and maybe a quarter of them are suggesting something we could do to improve the site. So imagine maybe 10 or 20 suggestions per day, every day, for the past decade - they wind up repeating a lot of the same things. Adding sorting and filtering options to bookmarks, subscriptions, history, marked for later are some of the most common requests.

I will explain, in brief and simplified terms, why this isn't something that is easily done (please believe me that if it was easy and not a huge strain on the site, something this useful and desirable would have been done by now.) I am not a coder or systems volunteer so there could be greater nuances to what I'm saying here, but this is the gist as I understand it: When you look at a work on AO3 (if you think about it from the technical end at all), you probably think about it as one thing - there's a record in a database of this work and its relevant info (things like how many words and chapters it has, what tags does it use, its title, its author, its kudos and comments, etc.), and everything else (bookmarks, history, subscriptions, etc.) revolves around that. But bookmarks are in a totally different database from works. A bookmark of a work is not a copy of that work. It doesn't include all the information about the work. A bookmark of a work includes some info about the bookmark, like the date you created it - these are things you can sort by. One thing it doesn't include is the word count of the work. To allow users to sort bookmarks by word count, we would need to add that to the information that is stored in the bookmark record. Store that information for the currently somewhere upwards of one billion bookmarks, and make sure it updates every time a work's word count changes. It would be a big change to the way bookmarks are stored, and a lot of extra data to keep track of.

Adding a filter to something (history, subscriptions, etc.) is not just a question of slapping a sidebar filter on the page and suddenly it's finished - the data on the backend is what's being sorted and filtered, and that involves some very heavy lifting on the part of the Archive. Remember that it's not just your own personal bookmarks that would be filtered - it would be applied to every user's account, and all their bookmarks, over a billion of them. The history table, last time I checked, had fourteen billion items in it (i.e. fourteen billion views of pages recorded for individual users). Adding additional sorting and filtering for fourteen billion items is... a lot. Even for one billion bookmarks, it's a lot. Adding the current bookmark filters was a huge effort that caused notable site performance issues until it was finished and tweaked and improved. So any additional filtering capabilities would need to be very carefully weighed and evaluated for impact on the Archive more broadly. I won't say it's impossible or that it'll never happen, but it would be a large undertaking that could place considerable strain on the site.