#i've already gotten my money's worth buying this game

[div-divington]

i am still not done playing 🥳🥳

[brightwingedbat]

I see a post going around with worry over anet doing another expac next year and another the year after. But to me I fully expected this to happen with the studio updates they made before SotO.

As it is, yes, it does cost more than what players used to get, it is essentially half a living world. But honestly getting multiple years of absolutely free content on an MMO without a sub fee is extremely generous. Me being a late start to the game though I had to buy them all anyway, I never had free living world content for being there early, it's not something I've 'lost' with the new way anet is doing content.

To me right now, I do see SotO as yes, half of living world's worth of story. But am I fine buying that? Sure I am! I had to buy living world content anyway. I've been enjoying the story, I've gotten hundreds of hours worth out of SotO already even outside of story content and have enjoyed every moment of it. Just for £21.99.

I also see comments that anet is being greedy and money-hungry for selling expacs rather than making free living worlds. (Which feels more like legacy player privilege, not everyone got those for free.) So let's put this into perspective with another MMO. Square Enix's Final Fantasy XIV.

FF14 expac + 2 years of sub = £30 + (£92.28 x 2) = £214.56 2 gw2 expacs over 2 years = £43.98

Guild Wars 2 is almost 5 times cheaper over the same course of time than a competing MMO to play even with the new yearly expacs.

If this were equivalent of a sub fee, it would be £1.85 a month, except you permanently own that content forever past the year.

Edit: adding something about my opinion on this overall from earlier reblogs.

My argument is the generosity of Living Worlds came at a hit to profit which potentially impacted the devs in such a way that grind was required. Less profit = less money to spend on hiring devs to avoid grind.

My ideal thing is we get content like lws4 was, even if it costs more than getting 3 years of content for buying PoF at the time did. If that profit goes to making better working conditions for the employees working on the game.

Edit 2: shgfsghf I reamend that. PoF to lws4-6 was September 2017 to May 2019. We got 11 maps in less than 2 years, no wonder PoF-LWS4 stretched Anet so thin.

[heart-forge]

interested in yr starfield take. played a lot of skyrim as a teen as one does but am not per se a bethesda fan and am mostly bemused by how little i have seen anyone talking about starfield either way in my social circles

well listen this with the important distinction that I am a Bethesda fan. Todd wrapped his chess-master's hands around my throat as a child and has not let go, so perhaps it's me that is biased, but I've been asking for years for a Starfield-esque game and I will not complain now that they've given it to me.

The critical like friction point I think with Starfield and mainstream gaming is that it's an FPS that isn't an FPS. I rarely had to actually fight outside of space flight mechanics. Most plot-based fights could be avoided with a keen enough charisma-or-whatever-space-equivalent skill. I think overall Starfield's flaw was Cyberpunk's flaw in a much more professional setting: it didn't commit enough to what it wanted to do, and by doing so added some watered down stuff that didn't work. Starfield wanted to be an exploration game: No Man's Sky, Garden of the Sea, something that's focused on studying the flora and fauna.

But also they doubled down on settlement building, something that people only wanted to use to make themselves home bases in Fallout 4 and otherwise didn't enjoy as a method of resource management (unless there was some bethesda forum silent majority: generally I gauge whether something is broadly popular or unpopular by asking my brother if it annoyed him dsfkjhds). And then also there was combat, but not just the ship combat which was the real novelty, but also base level FPS combat? But only sometimes.

And then of course there were the procedurally generated worlds which everyone knew immediately was not going to work, because No Man's Sky had already fumbled that hurdle. Bethesda narrative structure is not suitable for random distribution: they excel with specific and focused quest lines in limited, fleshed out locations (ie Shivering Isles, particular abandoned Vault side quests in Fallout 3, Rivenspire in ESO) and become overly generic and repetitive once they remove that element (all the busywork in Skyrim, all the backtracking in Starfield).

This is a problem with a lot of AAA video games as time goes on because...they don't want to commit to genre. What if someone doesn't like that genre? Then they won't buy the game. And it's gotten to the point where games are starting to flop because the mechanics are so broadly generalized and bloated that even the interesting stuff isn't relevant enough to do more than annoy players. I love scanning things in Starfield, I loved scanning them enough that they were fully researched, I loved finding different planets with variations on gravity...but there was literally no reason to explore. There could have been: I was in a guild of explorers. They could have done so much to make it worth my while to explore planets, but instead it was a radiant quest that I didn't even get the first time I played.

I've asked for a long, long time for a video game where my core purpose was not "bloodthirsty fighter itching to kill something with a gun or several guns or a knife or a sword murder kill death death death I don't understand magic I just want to cull my enemies". I hate playing ESO and getting treated like a barbarian in every interaction. I hate being railroaded into being a combat marine in Mass Effect (and was thrilled when Andromeda gave me cool biotics like everyone else got except for Shepard even if Shepard was a biotics class). I want class variation, even if we need to take money away from fidelity and put it into narrative so I can have someone treat me like I'm not a complete drooling neanderthal even if I specifically pick a magic or stealth class.

Starfield gave me that. I was able to pick dialogue options that reflected my skills. If I had points in geology, I could reassure Barrett that the story that the mining company fed him about his husband's misconduct was implausible. I could scold people for improper storage and care of relics even without sinking any particular skills. I could choose to be in religious awe of the relic visions, I could choose to be scientifically fascinated by them, I could choose to be power hungry about them. It's the most flexibility that's ever been allowed in a Bethesda game that I've ever played, and combat was so unfocused that I frequently forgot that fighting was even an option.

I really liked building my ship. I liked that it was a bit of a puzzle when it came to connecting things. The UI was awful and there wasn't much of a tutorial, but I said already that I'm a Bethesda fan. I liked ship combat once I got the hang of it, I liked the act of flying the ship around space. A lot of people said "Starfield gets really good...twelve hours in har har har" which I don't think is strictly fair. Starfield gets good once you figure out how to do stuff and use stuff the way it's supposed to be done and used.

Overall I think Starfield was a really positive experiment in trying something new with the FPS genre. Not everything worked which is grounds for a mass murder-suicide when it comes to how level-headedly gamers react to things that are really popular that they're just not clicking with (seriously I think a lot of problems in the game industry could be at least alleviated if we unlocked the 'just because you want to like it does not mean a fundamental right of yours is being violated if you don't' skill tree), but I like that a company the size of Bethesda is still kind of trying new things. Some quests REALLY hit me in the face: there's one where you're hunting down a relic and find a permeable reality where you have to decide to canonize one particular timeline over another, which involves a lot of switching through timelines in order to advance through to the next room. That was incredible, and meant so much more to me than any generic fetch quest. Grinding mechanics are difficult: not all players like to grind, but if you leave off grinding altogether then it becomes more complicated to balance for difficulty, especially if your goal is to present specific challenges to your player.

Anyway I thought Starfield was fun, I thought the story was good, I think fidelity is overrated, I think that many problems with video games would be solved by carefully integrated accessibility features, and I watched multiple videos criticizing Starfield for things that have always been true across Bethesda games (ie "why do guards know I've stolen and what I've stolen between different planets" because that's how Bethesda has always handled theft mechanics, maybe you just don't like Bethesda games and don't have an immutable human right to frictionlessly play and enjoy every video game that your friends are also playing (not YOU anon just the general you)). There's plenty of things to criticize but at this point I think some people just start nitpicking for nitpicking's sake. It's okay that some people didn't like it. They don't have to, but much like not liking something doesn't make it evil, not liking something also doesn't make it bad.

Overall though I'm not surprised that no one has heard much about it: it ran terribly without many options outside of modding to fix that issue. Maybe things are different over on Reddit, but I'm willing to wager that a lot of PC gamers have outdated systems. I said it about Cyberpunk and I'll say it here too: it's nice that your NASA computer can run one billion fps with high detail shadows and 4K reflections. Mine needs to be able to turn that shit off or else I just can't play your game.

As far as what you haven't heard about the main plot, I'll say this: it's a very, very interesting twist on infinite replayability. Nothing is truly infinitely replayable, but Starfield makes a very bold and frankly fascinating leap into how to achieve such a thing, to the point where before I found the ending I was like "it would have been better to redirect resources from x to the ending in order to achieve this insane thing" and while it's not perfect, I was SHOCKED that they just...literally do. It's so fascinating that I'm kind of surprised that no one talked about it.

[nathank77]

3/28/24

6:02 a.m updated/edited/added to

Well some retail therapy. Thanks to my creditline I have like 28 pairs of boxers but the majority are mediums. They fit but are uncomfortable... a little tight...

I've been maintaining my weight at 188. I could go hypo and gain some before I go to Methimazole once every 2 weeks it's experimental obv to see how my body responds.

So I bit the bullet, I mean I can't help it I'm a boxer snob and I won't ever wear Hanes again. Once you put on under armour boxers there is no going back. I'm not joking. They are so fucking soft and long lasting.

I'm going to look so good in my new body shot in these. I still got to buy cigarettes but I can afford it with the statement balance at the right time. I'm going this weekend...

Since I don't buy weed anymore and I'm not buying my medical card as of yet. I got my glasses and I'm about to get my Oakley later today.

Everything is in motion. Why not stop picking between my 5 pairs of boxers in large without holes and then wearing 2 pairs of Adidas with big holes in the butt... I got 12 pairs of under armour, and with my other 3 I already own I have 15, then 2 nice pairs of Adidas... so that means I got 17 nice comfy pairs. I can't go back to hanes. I could have gotten Adidas but they were marginally cheaper. And if I'm spending 26-30$ on 3 pairs of boxers I might as well go for ones I really like.

Beyond that I'm getting new shoes. I have a lot of pairs but every pair but one has holes in the bottom of the soles.

I still need t shirts too but I'm just going to look like a teenager and buy Walmart graphic t shirts in the future. I can get 20 for 130$ which isn't half bad. But not anytime soon.

Next month in April I got to get a couple polos incase I go to the tango so women find me attractive. The thing is I'm a t shirt, jeans and high top kind of guy.... so it doesn't fucking matter. Only issue is all My t shirts are tattered with the paint coming off.. minus like 2. I don't think it's a good idea to get them now as idk whats going to happen to my waistline. I'm about 6 weeks on methimazole... and I got 6 months to see where I end up....

So we will see. I have hoodies and a lot of them but they are stained and shit. Either way getting under Armour boxers will really help.

The shoes will help bc I can wear them or the other red Adidas depending on my outfit. One thing at a time. I'm excited that I don't have to wear underwear with holes.

I'm excited that Two pairs of sneakers I'm going to own don't have holes in the sole.

Polos next for the tango... and in a few months I'll get some graphics t shirts that aren't anything special but they won't be tattered, in a year or so I'll go hoodie shopping.

Depending on my waistline I'll get a new pair of jeans...in 6 months. I only have one pair... but it's nothing worth investing atm. I got to try them on in store anyways. Fit really matters to me.

I'm excited to debut my body in these boxers. And I mean wearing under armour boxers is like going commando. They are so soft and comfortable. I just can't go back to Hanes..

I also got 6 pairs of socks. I owe like almost 400$ bc of the game I bought on ebay but whatever i deserve comfortable boxers with no holes. I deserve shoes without holes.

I deserve to feel good about myself and be comfortable. I keep having money spending shock cause I'm so used to spending 300-400$ on weed a month...

But I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not renewing for a while.. and I'll figure out cbd as I go.. I still have enough to cure my microsleep days for a while.

I feel crazy but I spent all night doing math. Boxers are important.

Once I get my polo for a date night or the tango I'll look good for it but a girl has to accept me for me. High tops, jeans, a ratty t shirt and my nerdy glasses otherwise it isn't worth it..

I'm going to be me unshamed and proud... and if you don't like me fuck off. I don't wear dress shoes, I don't wear button ups cause I can't afford them but I would for a fancy date... I don't see those happening anytime soon.

This is me, take me as I am or GTFO. I live in poverty but I'm good with money. Take me as I am.

[heylookitsyc]

My savior, Mammon!

Pairing: Mammon x Reader

Game: Obey Me! - One Master To Rule Them All

Genre: Fluff

Synopsis: You can count on Mammon to save you when you find yourself in a small predicament.

Warning(s): None

Note: This story was originally uploaded on my Quotev @HeyLookItsYC.

Story is down below!

~

Mammon’s birthday was nearing once again, and this year you were determined to find the perfect gift. However, you were having a difficult time finding something for him. The stores surrounding you sold many flashy items that you knew the second-born would love, but the little amount of Grimm that you had in your card limited your options.

Reaching a shop that sold many expensive-looking outfits, your fingers lightly touched the glass of the window display.

“Maybe I can get a new jacket for him?” you said to yourself, staring at a mannequin that modeled a jacket similar to the one Mammon wore. “But what color would I even give him? What if he has this jacket color already-”

“Can I help you with anything?”

A voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you turned your head to see a young demon around your age standing at the store entrance. You knew he was an employee based on the clothes that he wore, and his nametag told you that his name was Dai.

“I, uhm…” You awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck with a nervous laugh. “You heard me talking to myself, didn’t you?”

“Maybe,” he answered, amusement in his tone. “Don’t worry, it was kind of cute.”

“Oh.” You felt your face heat up at the compliment. “Thank you, I guess.”

“No need to thank me.” He waved a hand, gesturing you to follow him into the store. “I have a new shipment of styles that you might like. Why don’t you follow me?”

“Alright, thanks!” you exclaimed, and as you followed him into the store you failed to notice the dangerous smile that now played on his lips.

~

“The material of this one is nice, and though it’s comfortable I don’t know if it’ll be good enough for Mammon,” you muttered, holding the sleeve of a jacket up to your face. As your thumb brushed over the clothing, you were suddenly caught off guard by another hand grabbing onto yours.

“Mammon, you say?” Dai was now holding your hand tightly, his much taller frame hovering over you. “Is this why you are searching for clothes?”

“Yes, actually.”

“Hm.”

You felt yourself suddenly pushed back, landing on top of the checkout counter. “Hey, what’re you-!?”

Your words were cut off at the sight of Dai hovering on top of you, hands positioned on both sides of your head so that you would be unable to escape.

The male leaned in close to your ear, and you cringed slightly at the feeling of his warm breath hitting your neck. “The moment you mentioned Mammon,” he whispered, his hands slowly moving to grab onto yours, “I knew that you were the human exchange student that he wouldn’t shut up about. How lucky am I, honestly? To have you walk into the same store he always visits...” He chuckled.

“Let me go,” you demanded, struggling to escape his grasp.

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I’ll- ah!” 

You suddenly felt the weight on top of you remove itself, revealing a very pissed off Mammon.

“What the hell do ya’ think you’re doin' with my human?” The second-born was quick to pull you up, an arm wrapping around you protectively. You felt your cheeks warm at the action.

“Well,” Dai looked annoyed, “before you so rudely interrupted, I was just showing the human a preview of what would’ve happened if they came home with me tonight.”

You felt Mammon’s grip on you tighten.

“Hey,” you said gently. “Let’s get out of here. He isn’t worth it, Mammon.”

“... fine.”

You were slightly surprised; you had expected him to at least argue or put up a fight, but he didn’t.

Just as the two of you were making your way out of the shop, you heard Dai call out to you.

“You can leave now, but you know you’ll come back once you realize how much of a scumbag he really is!”

Before you could comprehend what was happening, Mammon had already left your side and tackled the other demon to the ground.

~

“That wasn’t smart of you, Mammon,” you chastised.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

The two of you were sitting at one of the tables outside of a cafe; other than the few looks of confusion and curiosity you received from the other customers, no one really paid you any mind. You didn’t want to just take up a table without ordering anything, however, so you had bought two red coffees for you two to enjoy.

“You can never go back to that store again, you know.” You sat next to Mammon, a dampened napkin in your hand as you gently cleaned a small cut he had on his cheek.

“I don’ care,” he grumbled. He pulled his shades down, looking anywhere but at you. “That stupid employee deserved it.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you were jealous, Mammon,” you laughed, and you finished cleaning up the last of his injuries before folding the napkin and placing it aside.

“... whatever, stupid human.” He took a drink of his red coffee.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you for a few minutes. The cafe was a busy one; you recognized some other students ordering drinks or sitting around with others, and since you were seated outside you were also able to see the many demons walking throughout the street. It was darker than usual, and you knew that it would almost be time for dinner at the House of Lamentation.

“Oi.”

“Hm?” You hummed in response, taking a sip of your coffee. “What’s up?”

“Next time ya’ go out, ask me to go with ya’,” Mammon said, a light blush on his face. “You’re just a human, and that alone is enough to make ya’ a target to a buncha demons.”

“I couldn’t bring you with me this time.”

You fiddled with your drink, a small frown making its way onto your face when you realized you still hadn’t bought him anything for his birthday.

He noticed your change in expression. “Hey, hey! Whatcha lookin’ so sad for?”

“I’m sorry, Mammon,” you muttered, giving him an apologetic look. “It’s your birthday tomorrow, and I still haven’t gotten you anything.”

He stared at you, the blush on his face more obvious than before. “I-is… is that why ya’ went out?” he asked, to which you nodded to.

“Yeah. I wanted to buy something that you would really like, but I couldn’t find anything worth buying,” you explained. 

“Stupid human…”

You felt something warm surround your hand, and you looked down to see Mammon’s hand holding yours. When you looked up at his face, however, the male was looking in the opposite direction with cheeks so red that he almost looked like a tomato.

“As long as I have ya’ with me, I don’ want anythin’ else for my birthday,” he said. “Except presents from my brothers, of course. Lucifer froze Goldie again, so I've got no spendin’ money.”

“I’m sure you’ll get some good presents from your brothers,” you assured, and Mammon’s eyes brightened at your words.

“Do ya’ know what they got me?”

“I can’t say,” you said teasingly, causing him to groan and lean back in his chair.

“If it ain't money, I don’ want-” He was interrupted by the kiss that you planted on his cheek. “!?”

“You’ll have a great birthday tomorrow, Mammon. I’ll make sure of it,” you said. You finished the last of your coffee, standing up from your seat. “We should get going now, the others will be calling us for dinner soon.”

Finishing up his own drink, Mammon stood up as well. His free hand shoved into his pocket, the other still holding yours, he mumbled something under his breath.

“What was that?” you questioned, to which he just shook his head to. “Mammon, tell me, please?”

“No.”

“Mammon~”

“Dammit, fine!” He looked at you for a moment before looking away. “I said-” His voice suddenly went quiet, muttering the last few words.

“You said…?”

“I said I love ya’, stupid human,” he said. Like always when he was nervous, he looked around and shifted in place. “Now let’s get outta here, I wanna eat dinner.”

As you walked with him on your way back to the House of Lamentation, you moved his arm so that it wrapped around your shoulders while you were still holding hands. You glanced over to see Mammon looking at you in surprise, causing you to smile.

“I love you too, Mammon.”

[nichuuu]

Sociopath: Chapter 1 -Social etiquette

"Ice americano and a latte for Park Sang-woo?" The barista calls out. I weasle my way through the crowded Café and up towards the counter.

"That's me, thanks," I say as I take the two cups from him.

"Have a great day sir!" he chirps before tending to the other customers.

"I hope I do," I mutter as I pull out a small plastic bag that had white crystal-like substance contained in it from my jacket. If you had no context, you would probably be thinking that I'm spiking the drink, but in reality, I was just adding in a quarter packet of sugar for my bosses coffee. After 4 weeks of being Nayeon's secretary, I was sick and tired of having to buy and re-buy coffee because it was "too sweet" (how the fuck can she taste that shit?).

I finally resorted to just packeting exactly a quarter packet of sugar into small plastic bags instead of wasting my money. I admit, this little "spark of genius" of mine has gotten me into some unnecessary trouble with my flatmates. I mean, how would you feel if you caught someone living with you pouring a white solid substance into small, individual plastic bags? The human mind somehow goes whiles and links me to a drug dealer.

Yes, Dahyun and Chaeyoung thought I was selling drugs.

After a lot of convincing and preventing either of them from calling the cops on me, I finally managed to explain the situation to them.

I stir my boss's coffee and walk towards the office building. I wave good morning to the friendly security guards and take the lift up to the top floor, just like every other morning.

"Morning Chaeng, morning Dahyun!" I greet as I walk in.

"Morning Squid Game."

"Sup Sang-woo."

Why wasn't I in the office at the same time as them? Well it's because I felt too embarrassed taking a lift from Chaeyoung's kind girlfriend every morning, so I started taking the bus. Dahyun on the other hand, was completely shameless and saw nothing wrong, so she continued hitching rides to work.

"Nayeon's already in her office," Chaeyoung says.

"Alright. Thanks Chaeng," I reply before walking towards my bosses door. I scan my card against the reader and push the door open.

"You're late Secretary Park," Nayeon's voice greets me. I check my watch.

09:30:02

"By two seconds. Really Nayeon?"

"Punctuality is everything. Every second you're not doing anything just makes me more pissed off. Now give me my coffee," she says. I sigh and hand her the ice americano. She snatches it and takes a sip out of the straw.

"Got it right this time."

"Thank you. I've just resorted to packeting a quarter of a packet of sugar into small plastic bags," I reply proudly.

"That's incredible."

My eyes light up.

"Really?"

"Yes, incredibly stupid. Just measure it manually, don't be lazy," she scoffs. Welp...what can I expect honestly? Nayeon is a very misleading woman. She could say one sentence and proceed to follow up with another sentence that changes the meaning of the first.

"Mianheyo Nayeon," I huff as I power on the monitor. I instantly click onto her schedule as soon as I log in.

"Schedule?"

I start reading. When I'm done, I follow the routine and check her email. I draw in a breath as I find one called "verbal abuse" while scrolling down.

"What is it?" she asks. Shit, forgot that her ears were keen.

"N-Nothing! Just a small WiFi problem!" I say as I quickly delete the email. She raises her eyebrows but buys it as she continues her paperwork. I heave a sigh of relief. This isn't the first time that I got an email like this....especially with Nayeon's attitude. I sigh and continue looking through the emails while keying in meeting dates into the spreadsheet. I take a look at my watch and count down. As the second hand hits twelve, Nayeon stands up. 3 weeks worth of experience has taught me where we were going.

I grab my laptop and walk out of the office with her to the lift lobby. We take it back to the level of the conference room and enter.

The meeting goes about as usual, with Nayeon just addressing the company's financial and social position before going on to talk about how to increase sales. I sat there, taking minutes (as usual). As I did, I couldn't help but stare at the CEO as spoke. She was one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen...everything about her just seemed so...perfect. How was she still single?

"Something interesting about my face Secretary Park?" She calls me out. I snap out of my daze and shake my head.

"N-No Nayeon," I quickly reply. Sana-ssi giggles.

"Good. Now stop being a gawking idiot and continue taking minutes."

Right...that's why she's single. Her appeal instantly just vanished as soon as her personality came out...then again, personalities can be changed...should I give it a shot?

Focus up Sang-woo!

I pull myself together and continue taking down minutes. The meeting soon comes to a closure and Nayeon ends off with her signature "any questions?", even though she very well knows that no one can find anything wrong with her flawless explanation. Nayeon did have attitude, but she has the brains to back her up.

"No questions I believe. But could we speak to your secretary in private please Nayeon?" Jihyo-ssi asks. Nayeon rolls her eyes.

"And what's this about?"

"It's a private matter. We won't be long, I promise."

"I'll take your word Jihyo. If we are late for our meeting, I will hold both of you accountable," she huffs as she walks out. As soon as the door shuts. 5 sets of eyes fall on me.

"So Mr Park," Jihyo begins, "How have your first few weeks with Nayeon been?"

"It's been good so far," I reply honestly. She raises an eyebrow.

"Are you sure? If you have anything you need to air, you can let us know, we'll talk to her," she says. Ah...they were checking on my mental health because of Nayeon's attitude...

"Yeah, I'm fine. I understand that she can be a bit...aggressive at times, but I honestly find it okay. Not everyone's an angel," I reply. The directors all exchange a look.

"That's...the first..." Sana-ssi muses.

"If you don't mind me asking...why are you asking me about this?" I question. Mina sighs and leans forward onto the table, her elbows supporting her elegant frame.

"You see Sang-woo...right now you are on your fourth week with her, the furthest that any secretary of her's has gone without quitting. She's burnt through so many secretaries that companies are starting to take note. Combined with her...attitude...she's not exactly in the best light as of now...so we just want to check in on you to see how you're fairing because...well...we can't afford to have you quit as well..." Mina explains truthfully. I could understand, they knew how much Nayeon's company meant to her and they wanted to keep its reputation up there for her sake. They're good people.

"If you leave, her reputation essentially plummets and let's just say that her reputation isn't exactly the best amongst other companies right now," Jihyo-ssi continues.

"I see...I assure all of you that I am perfectly fine and I intend on staying on," I say confidently. They nod and heave a sigh of relief.

"That's good...that's good..." Jihyo-ssi says.

"Aish...if only she knew how to properly interact with people!" Momo-ssi groans.

"Well...we shan't hold you back anymore, go join Nayeon," Jihyo-ssi smiles. I shut down my laptop and thank them before exiting the room.

"Took them long enough. Come on, let's go," Nayeon says as I walk up to meet her. She briskly turns around and struts down the hall towards the lift lobby.

"What did they talk to you about?" She interrogates me. I decide to be completely honest with her.

"They were checking in on my mental health. They don't want me to leave because your company's reputation would go down the drain if I did."

Nayeon goes silent as she processes this information.

"It's because of me isn't it?"

"Pardon?"

"It's because of my attitude...right?" she asks again. There was no use in hiding.

"Yes..."

Nayeon nods and stares at the elevator door.

"It's not my fault that I'm like this..." she whispers.

"S-Sorry?"

"I mean...It's not my fault people can't take constructive criticism," she corrects herself. I'm pretty sure my ears didn't fail me...did I hear that?

It's not my fault that I'm like this.

She's hiding something. Something big, something personal. But she sealed the crack in her wall too quickly. I decide against pressing further into the matter. The lift arrives and we take it into the basement and walk towards her Tesla.

"Why don't you let me drive today Nay-"

"No!" She says immediately. Was that fear in her voice.

"I can't afford having an idiot like you crashing an expensive car," she adds quickly before getting in. I could tell it was more than just that...I enter the car together with her and she drove us towards our destination. As we rode in silence, I started to ponder about what mad Nayeon...well, Nayeon...what happened to her that made her this cold...this icy? There's gotta be some way I can help her...

If only she knew how to properly interact with people...

That gave me an idea...

"Nayeon, did your parents ever teach you social etiquette?"

"Are you trying to imply something secretary Park?"

"N-No! I'm just asking out of pure curiosity," I reply. Nayeon goes silent.

"No. They never did..." she replies. I look at her hands and see that her knuckles were turning white from her grip on the steering wheel. There was definitely a bigger picture behind this attitude...but let's not ask her about that, I'm not her friend...yet.

I nod and silently start formulating my plan.

***

The next morning, I came into the office and performed the usual routine. Unbeknown to Nayeon, I had switched up her schedule...

"Schedule?" She asks.

"Daily board meeting, and afterwards, social etiquette class," I reply. She furrows her eyebrows and looks up.

"What the fuck?"

"Yup, you heard me. Social Etiquette class."

"With who?"

"With me," I reply. Nayeon rolls her eyes.

"Stop messing around Secretary Park, tell me what my schedule actually is."

"If you don't believe me you can come check," I say. She sighs before standing up and walking over.

"What the hell did you do to my schedule?"

"Nothing. Just that some of your meetings got rescheduled so I decided to do this instead. Your directors have agreed to this and in fact, they highly recommend this."

Nayeon lets out a frustrated groan.

"I swear to god! I'm living in a world of idiots!" She yells before storming out. I blink a couple of times before grabbing my laptop and running after her.

"Nayeon don't be angry at your directors, it was my idea."

"I'm aware of that! Only an idiot like you could pull such a move!" she snaps back. Her words hurt me slightly but I don't let it show. Past a certain point, Nayeon's attitude gets more annoying than hurtful. She angrily presses the lift button and glowers at me through the reflection.

"Do you know how much time you're wasting on this useless crap?"

"I believe that every second of it will be worth it Nayeon."

"Then we have different beliefs then," she scoffs as the lift doors open. I walk in behind her as she hits a few buttons.

"Why in god's name would you pull something like this?" she growls. I fiddle nervously with my fingers.

"I don't have all day Secretary Park!" She yells when I take too long to answer.

Time to come clean.

"Y-yesterday I received and email titled verbal abuse that came from one of the coffee shops we went to. The thing is...this isn't the first time that I got this type email...so I set this up so that you could learn how to be friendlier..."

"And why would I need to know that?"

For a tip tier CEO, she could be really dense at times.

"Because I don't want you to gain a bad rep Nayeon. I know how much your company means to you and so I don't want to see it all go down the drain because you have a bad reputation. I'm gonna be honest with you Nayeon, some office workers, whose names I shall not disclose, call you a bitch...and honestly...I don't like them calling my boss that...so maybe this class with me could make you a better person and maybe an even better CEO."

The flames in Nayeon's eyes seem to die down and her gaze becomes...warm? That can't be right...before I could take another look, the fire starts up again.

"But that's still no excuse to change my schedule," she grumbles.

"I see it as a perfectly good reason," I reply as the lift doors open.

"But your reason's never seem to be reasonable to me," she grumbles.

We walk out and head into the conference room.

"Did all you 5 fuckers agree to this?" Nayeon immediately asks as she walks inside.

"To what?"

"To the stupid 'Social Etiquette' class!"

I see Momo-ssi suppress a laugh as they look at each other.

"Yes, yes we did," Sana-ssi replies on behalf of everyone. Nayeon sighs and pinches her nose bridge.

"I was hoping you were lying Secretary Park."

"I never lie Nayeon."

"I know, and that's annoying...alright, let's just get started with the board meeting."

After the meeting ends. We make a silent trip back to her office. She angrily opens the door and walks behind her desk.

"All right. Let's get this over with so that I don't have to suffer for too long," Nayeon says as she plops down in her chair.

"That's the spirit," I smile.

"Go fuck yourself."

"Right, that's not the spirit now," I sigh as I grab the whiteboard and wheel it over.

"Let's get to it," I say. Nayeon rolls her eyes and sits up.

This should be a breeze.

***

I have never seen someone like Nayeon in my life. I thought she was just introverted, but good lord was I wrong.

Nayeon wasn't introverted. She was like this by nature.

"All right Nayeon, let's try that again. How would you properly greet someone?"

Nayeon sighs.

"Again? Seriously?"

"We're gonna keep going till you get it."

She groans and slumps in her seat.

"Come on Nayeon...just one good one and we can go for lunch."

"You better keep your word..."

She sits up in her seat and puts up a forced smile.

"Annyeonghaseyo, my name is Nayeon."

"And?"

"And it's a pleasure to meet you."

That's good enough.

"Alright that'll work. We'll continue later, right now let's go for lunch."

"Thank god," she mumbles as she massages her temples.

"Who knew being nice could be so hard?" she continues.

"It's not that hard Nayeon. It's as easy as smiling."

"Smiling's not that easy. Especially for me."

"Just think of something that makes you happy," I suggest.

"It'a hard to feel happy when we have this going on Secretary Park."

I sigh.

"Imagine me falling down in a puddle of water."

There was no reaction from her at first. But slowly, an adorable grin spread across her face as a laugh begins to shake her body.

"Looks like it's not so hard after all..." I muse as she starts laughing uncontrollably. Was seeing me suffer all it took? I let her calm down before speaking again.

"Not that hard right?"

"Y...Yea...especially when I imagine that!" she chuckles breathlessly. I sigh and shake my head.

"Do you seriously get kicks out of people suffering?"

"Pretty much."

"Nayeon, if you keep this up, people are gonna think you're a Psychopath."

"I'm not a Psychopath, I'm a high functioning Sociopath, do your research."

"Did you steal that from Sherlock?"

"I believe I did, now shut up so we can go get lunch," She smirks as she stands up.

"We?"

"Yes, we. Are you that dumb?"

"Nayeon, what did I tell you?"

She sighs.

"My apologies. Let me rephrase that. Are you that in lack of brain cells?"

"That's not any better."

"Deal with it."

"God this will take time..."

"That time can be later. Now I've got to attend to my hunger. Let's go Secretary Park."

I decide to just follow her instead of fighting it. I drop a quick text to Dubu and Chaeng to tell them I won't be joining them for lunch before following Nayeon out of the office. Instead of taking us down to the cafeteria, she takes us down to the basement.

"Um Nayeon? Where are we going? The cafeteria is on the 2nd floor..."

"Oh I don't eat there, I made a reservation at a restaurant for 2. It was originally for me and Miss Kim Jennie but since you rescheduled everything, I suppose it's only right to take her place," she replies. Well...I guess she's right...wait a minute.

"But Nayeon...don't we have to end lunch by 2?"

She turns to look at me.

"I'm the CEO. I can arrive whenever I want, have lunch whenever I want, and leave whenever I want. Has that ever gone through that thick skull of yours?"

"First of all: no," I begin, "Second: that wasn't nice."

"Cry about it then," she remarks before turning to walk back towards the car.

"Jesus...she's cold..." I mutter as I hurry after her. I help her open her door before getting into the passenger seat. She starts up the car and pulls out of the building, silently driving us towards our destination.

"I'm curious Secretary Park," she says out of the blue.

"About what?"

"About why you're so caught up in making me a likeable person."

"As I said Nayeon, I don't like people calling my boss a bitch."

"Yes, but why?"

I think for a moment.

"Well...I enjoy working for you and hence I care for you as much as you care for me."

"But I don't care about you."

"Well then that's unfortunate, but I still care about you."

Nayeon goes silent.

"Interesting..." she mumbles after a while. I turn to look at her and...is that a blush on her face?

"Are you blushing Nayeon?"

"Are you an idiot Secretary Park? If you aren't then shut the hell up!" she snaps, obviously flustered. I smirk knowingly as she huffs.

"You know, for a Secretary, you're incredibly chatty."

"I mean someone's gotta be a counterweight to your behaviour."

"What did you say?"

"Nayeon, you can hear me tapping my fingers against my lap from just about anywhere but you can't hear what I just said?" I question jokingly.

"I heard what you said, I just didn't bother to process the immense bullshit coming out from your mouth."

"There you go again..." I grumble. We fall silent as we continue travelling.

"Do you always try to change people like this Secretary Park?" She asks, breaking the silence. I think for a moment as I pout.

"Not really actually...but I see that you have the potential to change yourself for the better, so I decided to take a shot."

"And what if I can't?"

Damn...she loves shouting people down...

"Then...I guess I'll keep trying till you do," I reply. My words seem to impact her in some sort of way as she suddenly goes quiet.

"You're interesting Secretary Park," she says after quite some time. I wait for the follow up insult but it doesn't come. That's the first.

We finally reach the destination. As we park and get out, I'm shocked to see where she took us to.

"Jungsik?" I exclaim as the Michelin Star restaurant greets me.

"I know your blind but you can't be that blind. Yes, we are at Jungsik Seoul, got a problem with that?"

I sigh and run my hands through my hair.

"There goes my Paycheck..." I mutter. Nayeon stares at me quizzically.

"Who said you're paying? This is on me. Now shut up and let's go!" She huffs as she hooks her arm in mine.

"N-Nayeon! What are you doing?!"

She rolls her eyes.

"And I thought you were the one teaching me social etiquette. This is basic manners, you should know this Mr Sociable," She scoffs. Maybe this was a rich people thing...

"O-Oh...Mianheyo then..."

"You talk to much. Come on, let's go."

We walk toward the entrance and open the doors.

"Hwangyeong hamnida! Thank you for dining with us today. How may I assist you?" the waiter greets us.

"I have a reservation under Im Nayeon," Nayeon says with a smile.

"O-Oh! Miss Im! We've been expecting you! Right this way please!"

We follow the waiter into the posh restaurant and I gawk at the expensive looking interior. The waiter leads us into a private room for 2 and rushes to pull out the chairs for us. I thank him and sit down.

"Why do you looked so shocked?" Nayeon asks as the waiter leaves to get the menu.

"Everything here just looks so...expensive..."

She scoffs.

"Have you never been to a restaurant like this before?"

I smile sheepishly.

"Erm...no actually...my family isn't exactly the most financially stable so uh...we didn't really have the funds for restaurants like this..."

"I see...well then I guess it's my turn to teach you social etiquette then," she smirks.

"I guess so..."

"Here are the menus."

The waiter hands us two menus.

"Could I start you off with some Sparking or Still water?"

I have never heard those terminologies for water in my life.

"Sparking will be nice, thank you," Nayeon replies. I decide to follow her lead.

"Same here."

"Alright then, I will be back shortly."

He bows before walking out of the room.

"What the hell is sparking and still water?" I ask.

"God you are hopeless...still water is normal water. Sparkling water is carbonated water."

"Carbonated?"

"Yes, carbonated."

"So it's...fizzy water?"

"Aish...yes, it's fizzy water you dumb shit, that's what carbonated means."

"Ah okay..." I reply as I stare at the menu. There was only 2 items on there, the 5 course meal or the 7 course meal. I wanted to go easy on Nayeon's wallet so I settled for the cheaper alternative. The waiter comes back with a glass bottle. He pops it open and pours the water into our glasses. I watched intently as I saw bubbles surfacing.

"Are you ready to order?" He asks.

"Yes. We'll have 2 seven course meals."

I open my mouth but shut it as soon as Nayeon shoots me a glare.

"Excellent choice, and could I get you any wine for this afternoon?"

"We'll have the house pour today."

The fuck is a house pour?

"Of course. We'll get that for you two right away. I'll be back shortly," he says before bowing again and walking out.

"Nayeon, I was gonna order the 5 course meal!"

"Hey, it's my treat, so just shut up and accept it."

I open my mouth to say something but that's when it hit me.

This is how she shows care...

So she does care for me...

I elect to keep these thoughts to myself.

"Thank you Nayeon," I reply.

"The hell are you thanking me for?"

"It's basic courtesy."

"That's just peak loser behaviour."

"Guess we're both learning a thing or two from each other huh?"

Just as she's about to reply, the waiter returns with a bottle of wine.

"The house pour today Nayeon-ssi," he says as he shows her the bottle. She nods and he cracks it open before popping the cork. He pours a small amount of it into Nayeon's glass . Nayeon picks up the glass and swirls it for a bit before taking a sip.

"This will do."

"Very well then," the waiter replies. He proceeds to fill our wine glasses halfway before leaving the bottle in an ice bucket.

"I will be back with the bread basket."

He bows and leaves.

I stare at the wine glass quizzically.

"Why didn't he fill it up all the way?"

"So that you can swirl it to release the wine's flavour. Follow my lead," she says. I watch intently as she picks up the glass with her palm facing up. I follow her closely as she starts to swirl the dark red liquid around before she brings it to her lips and takes a sip. I recoil slightly at the taste of the strong beverage.

"Woah...this is strong..."

"Of course idiot, it's wine."

"How do you expect me to know that it's strong if I've never drunk a glass of wine in my life?"

"You've drunk other alcoholic beverages, wine is no different."

"That's...a valid argument."

"I'm aware."

The waiter comes back yet again with a basket with a cloth over it. He lifts the cloth, revealing the contents of the basket before using a pair of tongs to put bread onto my small plate.

"Enjoy," he says before walking out. I just stare at the bread, unsure of what to do.

"Do I just...pick it up and eat it?" I ask Nayeon. She sighs and rolls her eyes.

"No, you don't. You see this?" she says as she lifts the knife that looked a bit like the thing they use to smoothen out the cement on construction sites.

"This is a butter knife. Now watch."

"You first rip a portion of the bread," she starts

She gracefully uses her thumb and forefinger to pull off a small chunk of bread.

"Then you take a little bit of butter."

She uses the butter knife to slice a small square of butter.

"And then eat."

She pops the bread into her mouth and chews. I follow her actions and eat my bread.

"Now just rinse and repeat."

I follow her instructions and soon finish the bread.

"That was easy," I say.

"Of course dipshit, it's eating, how hard can it be."

As the courses continue to come, Nayeon guides me on which cutleries to use (why is there a need for so many forks, spoons and knives?) and how I should eat the dishes. She also taught me how to place my cutlery after eating and how to use the napkin properly. Today really was Social Etiquette day huh?

After we finish all 7 courses and something at the end called the petite four, Nayeon pays and we leave the expensive restaurant.

"Wow...I'm stuffed..." I say as we walk towards her car.

"Don't fall asleep yet Secretary Park, you still gotta teach me how to be likeable."

"I thought you didn't like the idea?"

"Well...I thought about it and...I think you're right for once. It does pay to be a likeable person. Now let's get back shall we?"

Well I'm not gonna complain about that...

"Oh...okay then."

"Plus you do owe me one for teaching you all that in the restaurant," she smirks before sliding into her car.

"I suppose I do..." I mutter before getting in.

***

"And what do you say after that Nayeon?" he asks.

"Go fuck yourself."

"Not...exactly..."

"Oh wait. Go fuck yourself and have a nice day."

"That's somehow even worse."

"But I added have a nice day!"

"That doesn't cancel out the front part Nayeon! It's like blowing up a school bus full of children and then saying that they were Fortnite kids."

"That's acceptable."

"No it's not!"

It was my 5th hour of social etiquette class with my secretary. I know I said that I saw the need for it but now I was beginning to regret my decision.

"Again. What do you do when someone is 2 seconds late?"

I sigh.

"It's alright, it's only two seconds. Please sit."

"Very good."

I let out a breath and throw myself back in my seat.

"This is tiring..."

"I know Nayeon, but it'll pay off eventually."

"Will it really Secretary Park? Will it really?"

He sighs and sits down on the chair opposite me.

"I know Nayeon...this is something new for you. But I believe in you Nayeon, I believe that you have what it takes to turn your personality around."

His words send a warm, fuzzy feeling shooting through my body...why is he making me feel like this? What is he doing to me?"

"I...I..." I stammer, unsure of what to say. He smiles encouragingly and leans forward in his seat.

"Nayeon, I'll just air this here right now. You are hands down one of the most talented people I've met in my life. You have brains and the looks, but you're personality cancels out all the good traits. I don't want you to be stuck in this state forever Nayeon, so I want to help you become a better person."

I felt my heart beating faster with every word as I stared at him. No one has ever spoken to me like that before...I love it, I love this sense of joy he brings me every time he says things like this, I love the way he makes me feel like I'm worth something more. Who is this angel and why was he sent to me?

"Are you okay Nayeon?" he asks, snapping me out of my trance.

"I-I'm fine...J-Just uh...can we take a break?" I stammer.

"Oh. Sure, we have been working for 5 hours after all."

I quickly stand up and brisk walk out of the office. I take a secret path to the stairs before walking up a flight to the rooftop. I throw the door open and slam it behind me. I press my back against the door and slide down till I'm sitting. My heart was racing and every part of my body was tingly. I haven't felt this way since when I had my first crush in high school...

I feel a smile stretch across my face as I cover my mouth and rest my head against the door.

"Gosh...get a grip Nayeon!" I giggle to myself. Shit...why was I so happy? It was like all the emotions that I locked away since young just came flooding back to me. I've never ever felt this alive!

I wait for myself to come down from this high before standing up to take in some air. Once I recuperate, I head back into the office building with one thing in mind.

This secretary was starting to help me to feel again.

[cuttlefishen]

Back in 2016, I was a hot mess. I was depressed. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was uninspired to finish school, and in fact I failed basically all of my classes for a few semesters. Mentally? It was the worst year of my entire life...

And in the midst of that, I got really into a lot of different fandoms - probably as a coping mechanism. The Adventure Zone, Wolf 359, Flight Rising, Critical Role - I watched so. much. Critical Role... I literally skipped class just to watch Critical Role.

And then I took a break.

I quit school. I moved in with friends. I worked and tried to be a real adult, mostly self-sufficient for the first time ever... And I still tried to keep up with all these fandoms, plus adding more. Eventually I got to the point where the first campaign of Critical Role ended and I tried to keep up with the new campaign, but then I started working a second shift job every Thursday - so watching live wasn't an option any more.

I got behind, and literally have never caught up, and for the longest time this has really bothered me. I felt like I was failing myself by not being able to keep up with it, and worse I felt like I couldn't interact with the fandom at all anymore for fear of spoilers - which I wound up seeing anyway...

With the start of campaign 3, I was stoked to be able to try watching live again... but I really just don't have the emotional, physical, or attention energy to watch hours of dnd content anymore. And even though it's only been a few months, I'm already way behind and getting super stressed about catching back up.

Because I love Critical Role, so I have to watch it. Right?

And like this is just one example of a bigger problem I've increasingly found myself in. I grew up loving Pokemon, but as I've gotten older I've just rarely gotten my money's worth in the games, so I'm trying to be smart and not buy the newer games - but then I feel guilty and stressed and sad about not playing them.

I used to get so stressed about not keeping up with my Animal Crossing town that I would just stop playing for years, and then feel so guilty when I wanted to try playing again that I would just restart the game, destroy all the things I had created, and then feel guilty about that on top of the guilt of not playing every single day once my interest inevitably waned again.

I want to crochet, and play Animal Crossing, and watch Star Trek, and revamp my wardrobe, and make cosplay videos, and build new cosplays, and play PC games, and design dnd campaigns, and clean my house, and finally earn my degree-

...

So I've been thinking more and more about prioritizing lately. I've been struggling with school and struggling with home upkeep and struggling with mental upkeep, and honestly? I just really don't have the time or energy to dedicate to all the things I'm interested in.

And... that's okay.

I need to prioritize, but that doesn't have to be the big scary adulting only endeavor that my brain likes to tell me it is. I can decide that Critical Role is a fandom of my past, and I can watch clips and look at fan content without worrying about catching up - because realistically I never will. I can decide that Pokemon is a nostalgia that I love and appreciate, but don't have to actively participate in. I can decide that Animal Crossing is something I just play in spurts every once in awhile, and my islanders aren't going to hate me when I reappear months later.

My whole identity doesn't have to be wrapped up in all the dozens of fandoms I attach to myself like an over-enthusiastic decorator crab. I'm not failing anyone by letting some things go. I can let some things just be part of my past.

I can allow myself to be okay with giving things up.

And idk I just thought that realization might help some other people here too.

[amanda-glassen]

The Wonder Years: Part 8

While getting ready for her first school dance, twelve-year-old Olivia starts a path toward discovering who she is truly meant to be. Parts 1-7 can be found under the the tag #alex and liv: the wonder years

Thank you @ghostwritingcabenson​ @imaginaryoperagloves​ @cabensons​ @oliviaswifey​ and my lovely anon for all of your really sweet comments and tags.

Cover courtesy of my tumblr wifey @ghostwritingcabenson​

Seeing the brightly colored frozen yogurt shop put Olivia at ease because it was the setting of some of her best childhood memories and now she was going to experience it with her girlfriend.

Olivia did as Jamie had done for her mom and opened the car door for Alex. That small act of chivalry earned a big smile and a ‘thank you’ from Alex, which made Olivia feel as if she had butterflies in her stomach. 

“Babe, why don’t you take Alex inside?” Jamie suggested. “I want to stay out here and talk to Ollie.” Uh oh.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Serena gestured for Alex to follow her. “We can get first pick of the toppings.”

“Yeah!” Alex said excitedly. “I want chocolate chips and chocolate brownie bites.”

“Is everything okay?” Olivia asked, worried that Jamie had a suspicion that she and Alex were hiding something.

“Everything is fine,” Jamie responded. “This is a good talk, I promise.” She pulled a twenty dollar bill out of her wallet and handed it to Olivia.

“Cool! Twenty bucks!” Olivia folded the money and put it in her pocket. “Thanks, Jamie. I was saving up to buy a－”

“It’s not for you, kid,” Jamie interrupted. “It’s for you to treat Alex.”

Olivia tried to hide her disappointment. “But my mom always pays for frozen yogurt.”

Jamie made a failed attempt at stifling her laughter. “Think about it, kid. What’ll score you more points, you paying for her frozen yogurt or your mom paying?”

“Me, I guess,” Olivia groaned. “There goes my new bat.”

Jamie shook her head and wrapped her arm around Olivia to guide her toward the entrance. “I have so much to teach you, Ollie.”

Alex and Serena were already choosing their toppings when Olivia and Jamie entered the frozen yogurt shop. Olivia noticed that her mom had gotten their usual and she was eager to get the same－chocolate flavored frozen yogurt with Oreo crumbles, gummy worms and Fruity Pebbles－a tradition in the Benson household that they had named Dirt and Worms. 

“Mom, I’ll pay for me and Alex,” Olivia told her once all four cups of frozen yogurt were on the counter and ready to be weighed.

Serena took her debit card out of a pink and white polka dot Kate Spade wallet. “It’s okay, baby, I’ll get it. Save your money for that bat you’ve been wanting.” Olivia noticed her mom and Jamie exchange glances and she hoped Jamie could read her mind because she no longer had the slightest idea what to do. “On second thought, it’s probably not cool for your mom to pay for you on your first date.”

“I got this,” Olivia tried to say as smoothly as she could while she pulled out her twenty dollar bill and placed it on the counter.

“And I’m getting yours,” Jamie told Serena. “You already paid for dinner. We’re supposed to be in an equal partnership here.” After Alex and Olivia’s cups of frozen yogurt were paid for, Jamie inserted her card to pay for hers and Serena’s. 

“I paid for us to eat at Hot Dog On A Stick, not some expensive restaurant,” Serena reminded her. “That’s all we had time for after Barnes & Noble and GameStop.”

Jamie picked up their frozen yogurt cups and carried them over to the table. Olivia figured she should do the same for Alex until she saw Alex already eating brownie bites from her frozen yogurt. Better not take that away from her. “I learned an important lesson today, Ser. If I value my life, I will never attempt to take one of your fries. Is it the same with frozen yogurt?”

Serena scrunched her nose. “Yours is vanilla with strawberries, blueberries, and bananas. No wonder you want to steal some of mine.”

Within seconds of sitting down at the table, Olivia’s phone started to vibrate. It was a text from Elliot confirming he'd be at their secret meeting, but Olivia didn't want to risk her mom seeing a message from her dad come through so she decided to put her phone in her pocket. 

"What's this big science project about?" Serena asked them. "I've never seen an assignment have that effect on Olivia."

Olivia was in the middle of chewing a gummy worm, so she was grateful when her quick thinking girlfriend decided to answer. "It's the end of the year project which is worth 25% of our grade. Mrs. Rodriguez is supposed to give us more details on Monday, but my brother had her class three years ago and he said she lets her students pick the topic. Sometimes that's harder because the possibilities are endless. She also doesn't like us to pick partners because someone could get their feelings hurt if they aren't picked, so she puts us in alphabetical order. If she does that, it's fine because I'll get to work with Olivia. Alphabetically there's no one in between us. We should start brainstorming, Olivia."

The last thing Olivia wanted was to think about a science project that wasn't due for another month, but her girlfriend’s enthusiasm was contagious and the project was the only thing keeping her mom from asking questions about what was actually on her mind.

Olivia felt her phone vibrate again, except this time it wasn’t a text from Elliot or any of her other friends. It was another message from her dad that read, “Hey Sport. Wanna get some pizza tomorrow?”

“Who’s that, baby?” her mom asked her. 

“Just Elliot,” Olivia said nonchalantly. “He’s asking if I’m still coming over tomorrow to watch the game. I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

Olivia was grateful that the bathroom was a single stall so nobody could follow her in there. She pulled out her phone from her back pocket immediately after locking the door behind her and started to respond to her dad. “Yeah can we go to Another One Bites the Crust? That’s my favorite. I can meet you there at 1.”

She waited two minutes before another response came through. “Daddy/daughter day tomorrow at 1. They have those rotating basketball hoops outside. Bring your A-game.”

When she returned to their table, a feeling of guilt hit her hard and suddenly. She occasionally hid things from her mom like when she didn’t tell her she had a girlfriend, but this was the first time she had actually lied to her. It was the worst she had ever felt in her entire life and she knew that lie was only the first of many that she’d tell her mom that weekend.

Serena asked Alex about her siblings and Olivia heard Alex talk about her older brother who was fifteen and nice to her and her younger brother who was almost nine and kind of annoying. Olivia loved to hear Alex talk about her home life and her friends and her favorite movies and TV shows, but that night her mind was on her dad and how much fun the two of them were going to have the next day eating pizza and playing basketball.

“Do you have any brothers and sisters?” Alex asked Serena.

With Serena distracted by Alex’s question, Jamie took it upon herself to attempt to steal a gummy worm, but her attempt was soon thwarted by Serena gently smacking her hand. “Hey! Nope. Hands off my worms. If you wanted gummy worms, you should have added some to your frozen yogurt.”

Olivia handed Jamie a couple of her own gummy worms. “Here, Jamie. You can have some of mine. I have a whole bunch.”

Jamie took the worms and held them up to show Serena. “Unlike you, your kid actually shares.”

“What can I say?” Serena smirked. “My kid is better than me. That means I’ve succeeded as a mom.” She held Jamie’s hand on top of the table before turning to Alex. “Sorry, Alex, before we were so rudely interrupted by my gummy worm thief, I was going to tell you that my brother Kyle is two years younger than me and my sister Lexie is one year younger than me. The three of us are really close, like best friends. Kyle and I live in the same building, but Lexie moved back to California after college. She lives in Santa Monica now.”

“Lexie Benson is your sister?” Alex asked, wide eyed and completely in disbelief. “Lexie Benson, the YouTuber? I’ve seen every single one of the videos on her YouTube channel! She does these really funny videos where viewers can request what era or theme they want and she does these in-character spoofs about－” Alex started to blush. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. She’s your sister so you know all about her channel and her videos. Wait, I think I’ve even seen you in some of them!”

“Yeah, she’ll force me every time I go out to Santa Monica,” Serena smiled at her. “And don’t apologize for getting excited over something. I’ll tell Lexie about you next time I talk to her.”

“Babe, your phone,” Jamie told her as she looked down at Serena’s phone and noticed an incoming video call. 

“It’s my mom,” Serena groaned. “If I don’t answer, she’s going to keep calling.” She swiped across the screen to answer. “Hi, Mom. I’m out right now with Olivia, do you mind if I－”

“Where’s my grandbaby?” Mrs. Benson interrupted her. “I want to talk to her.”

Serena handed the phone to Olivia. “Hi, Grandma!” Olivia said excitedly. “Wanna see my girlfriend Alex? She’s having frozen yogurt with me. Me and her went on our first date tonight.”

“Hi, Mrs. Benson,” Alex said after scooting closer to Olivia. “Pleased to meet you.”

“You’re adorable!” Mrs. Benson responded. “And so well mannered. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Alex. So, tell me, how is my grandbaby on a date? Does she hold open the door and pull out your chair?”

“She’s a perfect gentleman and she’s so cute and sweet and she got me a rose and frozen yogurt tonight,” Alex beamed. “I like Olivia so much.”

Olivia felt butterflies in her stomach and she wanted nothing more than to kiss Alex if they were alone. “Doesn’t Alex look like a princess?” Olivia asked.

“She looks like Princess Grace,” Mrs. Benson told her granddaughter. “She could be a classic Hollywood starlet. And you look so handsome and grown up, my darling grandbaby.”

“Jamie cut my hair,” Olivia said excitedly.

“Jamie,” Mrs. Benson said in a teasing tone of voice, hoping Serena would hear. “Tall, dark, and handsome, herself, the one woman I would consider switching teams for.”

“Mom,” Serena groaned and Olivia couldn’t help but laugh when her mom put her head down on the table in embarrassment.

Olivia handed the phone over to Jamie. “Hi, Melanie. You’re looking beautiful as always. Where are you? I can see the sunset behind you. Are you on vacation?”

“Oh, no, I’m just on our rooftop,” Mrs. Benson said nonchalantly. “Didn’t my daughter tell you about the beach house in Malibu?”

Serena took the phone from Jamie. “I have to go now, Mom. Alex has to get home soon.”

“Not so fast,” Mrs. Benson told her. “Since you neglected to tell me when your spring break was, I looked it up on Columbia’s website and saw that it’s the week after next. I’m booking your flight to LAX. You can bring Jamie so I can finally meet her in person and my grandbaby can bring her little girlfriend and before you object and say you had something planned for my grandbaby, I will save you the effort and say nothing you can plan in that gloomy state you insist on living in is as much fun as the kids will have at the beach and at Disneyland.”

“Disneyland!” Alex said excitedly. “I’ll ask my mom if I can go as soon as I get home.”

Olivia’s dream of riding the teacups together and buying Alex a pair of sparkly Minnie Mouse ears could finally come true. “Please, Mom. Please can we go? I’ll do anything.”

“Don’t be the bad guy, Serena,” Mrs. Benson told her daughter. “I can hear how happy the kids are.”

“It’s 9:45 over here, Mom,” Serena said in a frustrated tone of voice. “I have to hang up now so we can take Alex home. Bye, Mom. I love you. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Serena set her phone on the table and then turned to face Jamie. “One thing I hate about smartphones is that you can’t angrily close them when you wanna hang up on someone. Nothing gave me more satisfaction as a teenager than hanging up on my mom with my pink bedazzled Motorola Razr phone whenever she nagged me about something like she is right now. She completely undermines my parenting every chance she gets. What if I had something planned for Ollie?”

“At least you knew how to use that phone because, apparently, you can’t use this one,” they heard Mrs. Benson say. “I’m still on the line, Serena. I’m booking your flight and I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Olivia looked across the table at her flustered mom and at Jamie who was trying to contain her laughter. The short interaction with her grandma had made all of her negative feelings go away. Tomorrow, she’d spend the afternoon with her dad and, as long as they could convince Mr. and Mrs. Cabot, she’d soon be at Disneyland with the love of her twelve-year-old life.

[teaveetamer]

My issue with the new sparks is just the same issue I have with everyting else on the fehpass - that its quality of life changes the community has been asking for for years and Intsys puts it behind a paywall instead. These changes would make the game far more enjoyable to play for everyone but Intsys cant resist trying to squeeze money out of people for it. At most, I can see this make some people buy the pass for a month with a tempting banner and then unsubscribe, but thats about it.

Like I've stated, this is definitely a move to entice more minnows and to add value for the people already subbed (because frankly before this it was not worth the ten dollars).

Frankly, you're not entitled to something just because you asked for it. If the devs had teased sparkable legendary banners being free then that's one thing, but everyone requested it, just expected it to be free, and are now surprised pikachu facing when IS says "hey, a lot of people think this would be valuable... how valuable?"

And like not even me defending them as a company. They're a corporation and they don't give a fuck about me or you or anyone and I'm well aware of that. I'm just sick of everyone and their weird parasocial relationship to a corporation acting like this is some massive betrayal. Curb your expectations, and never expect a corporation to do anything for you out of the goodness of their heart. People are let down because they expected humanity from something that isn't human in the first place and will only feign it as a way of picking your wallet straight out of your pocket.

On a personal level, I've said for YEARS that I wish they gave me a way to just pay a flat amount for a unit I want and get them guaranteed. On my main blog I literally reblogged an old post I made from 2017 to that effect. I get that they're a corporation and they need money. I'm not against spending a few dollars on a game if I'm really enjoying it. Collectively, throughout FEH's entire run (as a day one player) I've spent $10 on it. Considering how much time I've spent on the game, I've more than gotten my money's worth and I don't mind throwing a little more their way as long as the game remains fun for me.

[thewidowsghost]

The Unknown Muggleborn - Chapter 9

3rd Person POV

Hermione, who had come back with (Y/n) the day before term had started, takes a different view of things. She is torn between horror at the idea of Harry being out of bed, roaming the school three nights in a row - "If Filch had caught you!" - and disappointment that he hadn't, at least found out how Nicholas Flamel was.

(Y/n) had opened her mouth to say something, but Fred and George had darted across the Common Room and dragged her away and towards Oliver Wood, her three friends staring after her, and catching her apologetic gaze before Oliver snaps at her to pay attention.

Oliver seems to be working the Quidditch team harder than ever. Even the endless rain that had replaced the snow couldn't dampen his spirits. The Weasleys complained that Wood is becoming a fanatic, but Harry and (Y/n) are on Wood's side. If they win their next match, against Hufflepuff, they would overtake Slytherin in the House Championship for the first time in seven years. Quite apart from wanting to win, they find that they has fewer nightmares when they're tired after training.

Then, during one particularly wet and muddy practice session, Oliver Wood gives the team a bit of bad news. He'd just gotten very angry with the Weasleys, who kept dive-bombing each other and pretending to fall of their brooms.

"Will you stop messing around!" Wood orders. "That's exactly what'll lose us the match! Snape's refereeing this time, and he'll be looking for any excuse to knock points off Gryffindor!"

George Weasley really did fall off his broom at the words.

"Snape's refereeing?" he splutters through a mouthful of mud. "When's he ever refereed a Quidditch match? He's not going go be fair if me might overtake Slytherin."

The rest of team - besides (Y/n) - land next to George to complain, too.

"It's not my fault," says Wood. "We've just got to make sure we play a clean game, so Snape hasn't got an excuse to pick on us."

Which is all well, thinks (Y/n), but I don't need a repeat of what happened last time, whoever did it.

The rest of the team hangs back to talk to one another as usual at the end of practice, but Harry and (Y/n) sprint straight back up to the Gryffindor common room, where they find Hermione and Ron playing chess. Chess was the only thing Hermione ever lost at, something Harry and Ron though was good for her.

"Don't talk to me for a moment," says Ron when Harry sits down beside him and Hermione shifts to make room for (Y/n).

Then Hermione catches sight of (Y/n)'s face. "What's wrong?" she asks, a worried look on her face and Ron looks over at (Y/n).

Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry tells the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.

"Don't play," says Hermione at once.

"Say you're ill," Ron offers.

"Pretend to break you leg," Hermione says.

"Really break your leg," at Ron's words, everyone turns to him.

"I can't," says (Y/n), then she signs. "There isn't a reserve Seeker. If I back out, Gryffindor can't play at all."

At that moment Neville topples into the Common Room. How he had managed to climb through was anyone's guess, because his legs had been stuck together with what they recognized at once as the Leg-Locker Curse. He must have had to bunny hop all the way up to Gryffindor Tower.

Everyone but (Y/n) and Hermione laugh, and (Y/n) leaps up an performs the countercurse. Neville's legs spring apart and he gets to his feet, trembling.

"What happened?" (Y/n) asks him, leading him over to sit with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"Malfoy," says Neville shakily. "I met him outside the library. He said he'd been looking for someone to practice that on."

"Go to Professor McGonagall!" Hermione urges Neville.

"Report him!" (Y/n) agrees with the brunette.

Neville shakes his head. "I don't want more trouble," he mumbles.

"You've got to stand up to him, Neville!" Harry says.

"He's used to walking all over people, but that's no reason to lie down in front of him and make it easier," Ron says.

"There's no need to tell me I'm not brave enough to be in Gryffindor, Malfoy's already done that," Neville chokes out.

(Y/n) feels around in the pocket of her sweatshirt and pulls out a chocolate frog. She gives it to Neville, who looks as though he is about to cry.

"You're worth twelve of Malfoy," (Y/n) says.

"The Sorting Hat chose you for Gryffindor, didn't it? And where's Malfoy? In stinking Slytherin?" Harry finishes.

"Thanks, (Y/n), Harry ... I think I'll go to bed ... D'you want the card (Y/n), you collect them don't you?"

As Neville walks away, (Y/n) looks at the Famous Wizard card.

(Y/n), reading the card, smacks herself in the face and everyone turns to her. "I found him!" (Y/n) hands the card to Hermione and she sprints upstairs and grabs a alchemy book from her nightstand.

"I never thought to look in here," (Y/n) says, sprinting back downstairs and over to her friends. "Snape gave me this a few weeks ago to read."

(Y/n) opens the book and flips through the pages. "Nicholas Flamel is the only know maker of the Sorcerer's Stone."

This doesn't have the effect she had expected.

"The what?" ask Harry and Ron.

"Honestly, don't you read?" Hermione asks.

"The Sorcerer's Stone," (Y/n) begins pacing back and forth, her friends watching, "it was a legend, but I guess now it's true." (Y/n) runs a hand through her (H/C) hair. "It can transform any metal into pure gold and can produce the Elixir of Life, which makes the drinker immortal. If I remember correctly, Flamel just turned six hundred and sixty-five."

"The dog must be guarding the Sorcerer's Stone!" Harry begins.

"I bet he asked Dumbledore to keep it safe for him, because they're friends and he knew someone was after it, that's why he wanted the Stone removed out of Gringotts!" Hermione finishes.

"A stone that makes gold and stops you from ever dying!" exclaims Harry. "No wonder Snape's after it! Anyone would want it!"

At Harry's mention of Snape, (Y/n)'s mouth spreads into a frown.

"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry," says Ron. "He's not exactly recent if he's six hundred and sixty-five, is he?"

. . .

The next morning in Defense Against the Dark Arts, while copying down different ways of treating werewolf bites, Harry and Ron are still discussing what they'd do with a Sorcerer's Stone if they had one. It wasn't until Ron said he'd buy his own Quidditch team that (Y/n) remembers about Snape and the coming match.

"I'm going to play," she tells the other five. "If I don't we'll be behind in the cup. If we win, I'll show them ... it'll really wipe the smiles off their faces."

"Just as long as we're not wiping you off the field," Ron comments and (Y/n) shoots him a incredulous look.

As the match grows closer, however, (Y/n) becomes more and more nervous, whatever she told her friends and sister. The rest of the team isn't very calm, either. The idea of overtaking Slytherin in the House Championship was wonderful, no one had done it in seven years, but would they be allowed to, with such a biased referee?

Harry doesn't know whether he is imagining it or not, but he seems to keep running into Snape wherever he goes. At times, he wonders if Snape is following him, trying to catch him on his own. Potions lessons are turning into a sort of weekly torture for Harry, Snape seemingly getting worse in each class. Harry didn't see how he could - yet sometimes he had to horrible feeling that Snape could read minds.

(Y/n) knew, when they had wished her and Harry good luck outside the locker rooms the next afternoon, that Ron and Hermione were wondering whether they'd ever see her alive again. (Y/n) hardly hears a word of Oliver's pep talk as she pulls on her Quidditch robes and picks up her Nimbus Two Thousand.

Ron and Hermione, meanwhile, had found a place in the stands next to Neville, who couldn't understand why they looked so grim and worried, or why they had both brought their wands to the match. Little did (Y/n) know that her friends had been secretly practicing the Leg-Locker Curse. They had gotten the idea from Malfoy using it on Neville, and were ready to use it on Snape if he showed any signs of wanting to hurt (Y/n).

Back in the locker room, Oliver Wood had taken (Y/n) aside.

"Don't want to pressure you, (Y/n), but if we ever need an early capture of the Snitch it's now. Finish the game before Snape can favor Hufflepuff too much."

(Y/n) nods, a determined look on the Seeker's face.

"The whole school's out there!" says Fred, peering out of the door. "Even - blimey - Dumbledore's come to watch!"

Harry and (Y/n) exchange looks. "Dumbledore?" Harry asks, dashing to the door to make sure. Fred is right, there's no mistaking that silver beard.

Harry could have laughed out loud with relief. (Y/n) was safe. There was simply no way that Snape would dare hurt (Y/n) if Dumbledore was watching, Harry thinks. Maybe that's why Snape is looking so angry as the teams march onto the field, Harry thinks, which Ron notices as well.

"I've never seen Snape look so mean," the ginger tells the other girls. "Look - they're off. Ouch!" Malfoy had poked Ron in the back of the head.

"Oh, sorry Weasley, didn't see you there," Malfoy grins at Crabbe and Goyle. "Wonder how long (L/n)'s going to stay on her broom this time? Anyone want a bet? What about you, Weasley?"

Ron doesn't answer; Snape had just awarded Hufflepuff a penalty because George had hit a Bludger at him. Hermione, who had all her fingers crossed in her lap, is squinting fixedly up at (Y/n), who is circling the came like a hawk, looking for the Snitch.

"You know how I think they chose people for the Gryffindor team?" says Malfoy loudly a few minutes later, as Snape awards Hufflepuff another penalty for no reason at all. "It's people they feel sorry for. See, there's Potter and (L/n), who've got no family, then there's the Weasleys, who've got no money - you should be on the team, Longbottom, you've got no brains."

Neville goes bright red but turns in his seat to face Malfoy. "I'm worth twelve of you Malfoy," he stammers.

Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle howl with laughter, but Ron, still not daring to take his eyes from the game, said, "You tell him, Neville."

"Longbottom, if brains were gold you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something."

Ron's nerves are already stretched to the breaking point with anxiety about (Y/n), "I'm warning you, Malfoy - one more word -"

"Ron!" says Hermione suddenly, "(Y/n) - !"

"What?! Where?!"

(Y/n) had suddenly gone into a spectacular dive, which draws gasps and cheers from the crowd. Hermione stands up, her crossed fingers in her mouth, as (Y/n) streaks towards the ground like a bullet.

"You're in luck, Weasley, (L/N)'s obviously spotted some money on the ground!" says Malfoy.

Ron snaps. Before Malfoy knows what's happening, Ron is on top of him, wrestling him to the ground. Neville hesitates, then clambers over the back of his seat to help.

"Come on, (Y/n)!" Hermione screams, leaping onto her seat to watch as (Y/n) speeds straight at Snape - she didn't even notice Malfoy and Ron rolling around under her seat, or the scuffles and yelps coming from the whirl of fists that was Neville, Crabbe and Goyle.

Hermione watches to see Snape turning on his broomstick to see something scarlet shoot past him, missing him by inches - the next second, (Y/n) had pulled out of the dive, her arm raised in triumph, the Snitch clasped in her hand.

The stands erupt; it had to be a record, no one could remember the Snitch being caught so quickly.

"Ron! Ron! Where are you? The game's over! (Y/n)'s won! We've won! Gryffindor's in the lead," shrieks Hermione, dancing up and down on her seat and hugging a beaming Pavarti Patil in front of her.

(Y/n) jumps off her broom, a foot from the ground. She couldn't believe it. She had done it - the game was over; it had barely lasted five minutes. As Gryffindors come spilling onto the field, Harry sees Snape land nearby, white-faced and tight-lipped. Harry lands beside (Y/n) and they feel a hand on their shoulder and they look up into Dumbledore's smiling face.

"Well done," says Dumbledore quietly, so that only Harry and (Y/n) could hear.

The Gryffindors run to lift (Y/n) onto their shoulder; Ron and Hermione in the distance, jumping up and down, Ron cheering through a heavy nosebleed.

Harry leaves the locker room alone some time later, to take his Nimbus Two Thousand back to the broomshed. He leans against the wooden door and looks up at Hogwarts, with its windows glowing red in the setting sun. Gryffindor in the lead. (Y/n) had done it, she'd shown Snape. . . .

And speaking of Snape . . .

A hooded figure comes swiftly down the front steps of the castle. Clearly not wanting to be seen, it walks as fast as possible toward the forbidden forest. Harry recognizes the figure's prowling walk. Snape, sneaking into the forest while everyone else was at dinner — what was going on?

Harry jumps back on his Nimbus Two Thousand and took off. Gliding silently over the castle he sees Snape enter the forest at a run; he follows.

The trees are so thick he couldn't see where Snape had gone. He flew in circles, lower and lower, brushing the top branches of trees until he hears voices. He glides toward them and lands noiselessly in a towering beech tree.

He climbs carefully along one of the branches, holding tight to his broomstick, trying to see through the leaves. Below, in a shadowy clearing, stands Snape, but he isn't alone. Quirrell is there, too. Harry can't make out the look on his face, but he is stuttering worse than ever. Harry strains to catch what they are saying.

". . . d-don't know why you wanted t-t-to meet here of all p-places, Severus . . ."

"Oh, I thought we'd keep this private," replies Snape, his voice icy. "Students aren't supposed to know about the Sorcerer's Stone, after all."

Harry leans forward. Quirrell is mumbling something, but Snape interrupts him.

"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?"

"B-b-but Severus, I —"

"You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell," says Snape, taking a step towards him.

"I-I don't know what you —"

"You know perfectly well what I mean."

An owl hoots loudly, and Harry nearly falls out of the tree. He steadies himself in time to hear Snape say, "— your little bit of hocus-pocus. I'm waiting."

"B-but I d-d-don't —"

"Very well," Snape cuts in. "We'll have another little chat soon, when you've had time to think things over and decided where your loyalties lie."He throws his cloak over his head and strides out of the clearing. It is almost dark now, but Harry can see Quirrell, standing quite still, as though he was petrified.

. . .

"Harry, where have you been?" Hermione squeaks.

"We won! (Y/n) won! We won!" shouted Ron, thumping (Y/n) on the back."And I gave Malfoy a black eye, and Neville tried to take on Crabbe and Goyle single-handed! He's still out cold but Madam Pomfrey says he'll be all right — talk about showing Slytherin!"

"Everyone's waiting for you and (Y/n) in the common room, we're having a party, Fred and George stole some cakes and stuff from the kitchens," Ron continues.

"Never mind that now," says Harry breathlessly. "Let's find an empty room, you wait 'til you hear this. . . ."

He made sure Peeves wasn't inside before shutting the door behind them, then he told them what he'd seen and heard.

"So we were right, it is the Sorcerer's Stone, and Snape's trying to force Quirrell to help him get it. He asked if he knew how to get past Fluffy — and he said something about Quirrell's 'hocus-pocus'— I reckon there are other things guarding the stone apart from Fluffy, loads of enchantments, probably, and Quirrell would have done some anti-Dark Arts spell that Snape needs to break through -"

"So you man the Stone's only safe as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?" asks Hermione in alarm, (Y/n) shifting thoughtfully on the desk she was sitting onto of.

"It'll be gone by next Tuesday," says Ron.

Hermione glances over at (Y/n), who is sitting silently, a thoughtful expression on her face. "What is it?" (Y/n) asks.

"The thing about the loyalty confuses me," (Y/n) says, jumping off the desk. "Who would Quirrell need to prove his loyalties lie to? Dumbledore right, what if Quirrell is trying to get the stone? What if that whole stuttering thing is an act? I've never been a hundred percent about him myself."

Ron shrugs her off, "It must be Snape."

"Not necessarily, not to be rude or anything, but I'm his favorite student," the others nod in agreement. Then (Y/n) turns to Hermione. "Who was sitting behind Snape at the first Quidditch match?"

"Quirrell," Hermione says.

"My point exactly," (Y/n) says but Ron and Harry shrug her off again.

"It's definitely Snape," Harry says and (Y/n) shakes her head and walks back to the Gryffindor Common Room alone.

Despite herself, she grins when she portrait whole swings open and the Common Room erupts into cheers as she steps through. Oliver and Fred come over and lift (Y/n) up onto their shoulder and everyone begins to cheer:

"(Y/n)!"

"(Y/n)!"

"(Y/n)!"

Word Count: 2963 words

[itsclydebitches]

Is buying the new Harry Potter game supporting transphobes because I've been seeing a lot of that on twitter? Not playing it. Pirating is fine, but actually paying for it.

Hi, anon!

I’ve seen a lot of the same and had initially thought to post my thoughts on the issue… before I got a very angry ask condemning me for a post where I admitted that I thought the game looked great and was excited to play it. I can no longer link to that post because I deleted it: a late night, impulsive decision made in an effort to try and protect myself from further flaming. Thus, I considered ignoring this ask under the same justification… before realizing that it might not matter in the long run. The Harry Potter: Legacy trailer has been out for just a few days and already I have gotten that furious ask, been told off by a friend for mentioning the trailer, and was questioned (antagonistically) about why I had added a Harry Potter related book to my Goodreads list. They’re small and potentially coincidental anecdotes, but it feels as if any engagement with Harry Potter is slowly coming under scrutiny, not just the (supposed—more on that below) crime of purchasing the new game. Given that I will always engage with Harry Potter related media, if there’s any chance such subtle criticism will continue regardless of whether I make the “right” choice to boycott the game or not, I might as well explain my position. Especially for someone who asked politely! Thanks for that 💜. 

Which leads to the disclaimer: Any anon hate will be unceremoniously deleted. This is a complicated issue and I intend to write about it as such. I ask that any readers go into this post with good faith and a willingness to acknowledge that this situation isn’t as black and white as they may prefer it to be. If that’s not something you can emotionally handle—which is 100% fine. Some subjects we’re simply not inclined to debate—or if you’re just looking to get in a cheap shot, please hit the back button.

Right. Introduction done. Now here’s the tl;dr: saying things like “Buying this game is inherently selfish/transphobic” isn’t the hot take people want it to be. Is boycotting Legacy one (very small—we’ll get to that too) way of showing support for the trans community? Yes. Is buying the game proof that you’re a selfish transphobe?  No. This isn’t a bad SAT question. Legacy boycotters are to trans supporters as Legacy buyers are to  ___? The argument that someone is selfish for buying the game is basically that you are choosing a non-essential video game over the respect and lives of trans individuals, but the logic breaks down when we acknowledge that purchasing a game has no real life impact on a trans individual’s safety, support, etc.   

“But Clyde, you’re giving Rowling money. She is then using that money to support anti-trans organizations. Thus, you have actively put more harm into the world.” Have I? I’m not going to get into whether/how much/what kind of money Rowling is receiving from this project because the fact is we don’t know and we’ll likely never know. Suffice to say, she probably will get some portion of any $60/$70 purchase. The real question is whether those sales have any meaningful impact. Reputable information on Rowling’s net worth is hard to come by, but it seems to be somewhere between 600 million and 1 billion pounds. Or, to put it another way: a fuck ton. And money keeps rolling in from a franchise that is so, so much bigger than a single video game. It literally doesn’t matter how much money you might put in her pocket via Legacy because she’s already so goddamn rich she can do whatever she wants. If Rowling wants to give a million dollars to the heinous “charity” of her choice, she can. She will. You are not directly contributing to this horror because that money may as well already exist. Every person in the world could refuse to buy this game and she’d shrug, going about her disgusting life because it literally does not affect her in any meaningful way. You’re refusing to give the murderer a knife when they’re got direct access to a knife-making factory. Horrible as it is to hear, you can’t stop them from doing something horrific with that tool. 

For me, this is the straw argument of the Harry Potter world. Not straw as in strawman, but literally straws. Remember how everyone was talking about plastic straws, swore off them, and subsequently deemed anyone who still used one to be selfish people who didn’t care about the environment? It didn’t matter if you had a certified “good” reason for using one (disability) or a “selfish” reason (carrying straws everywhere on the off chance you wanted a drink is a pain in the ass)—you’re a horrible person who wants the planet to die. Same deal here. If you can swear off straws, great! Do what tiny bit of good you can. But if you can’t or even don’t want to give them up, the reality is that your “selfishness” doesn’t make a significant difference in the world. The amount of plastic corporations are pouring into the ocean makes your actions inconsequential. It’s not like voting where every small, individual act adds up to a significant total. This is your lack up against others’ staggering abundance. It’s not adding a few drops of water until you have a full bucket, it’s trying to un-flood the boat with a teaspoon while someone else is spraying it with the hose. Have you, on the most technical level, made a difference by moving that teaspoon of water out of the boat? Yes. Is it a difference that holds any meaning in regards to the desired outcome? Not really. Now apply all that to Rowling. She is so phenomenally wealthy—with additional wealth coming in every day—that your purchase of Legacy is a teaspoon of water in her ocean of funds. It’s inconsequential.

“But Clyde, buying this game would support her and supporting her sends the message that what she believes is okay.” Exact same argument as above. JKR’s fame is so astronomical that no video-game boycott could ever make a dent in it. For every 100 people who swear off her work there are another 1,000 who continue to engage with both her writing and the writing related to her world because she is that prominent. Harry Potter is one of the largest franchises of all time, second only to things like Pokémon and Star Wars. This isn’t some indie creator who you can ignore into silence. The reality is that Rowling is here to stay and we have to take far more substantial acts to counteract that influence. 

Even more importantly, buying the game is not evidence that you support her views and the black and white belief that it does is an easy distraction from those harder “How do we improve the lives of trans people?” questions. I started compiling a list of stories with problematic authors only to realize the number of incredibly popular texts with awful histories attached to them unnecessarily increased the length of an already long post. Everything from Game of Thrones to Dr. Seuss—if you love it, chances are one of the authors involved has a history of misogyny, racism, homophobia, etc. Which I don’t say as a way of excusing these authors, nor as a way to silence the justified and necessary call outs on their work. Rather, I bring this up to acknowledge that engaging with these stories cannot be concrete evidence for how you view the minority group in question. The reasons for consuming these stories are incalculable and at the end of the day no one needs a “correct” reason for that consumption (my teacher forced me to read the racist book, I only watched the homophobic TV show so I could call out how horrible it was, etc.) If fiction were an indicator of our real life beliefs we’d all be the most horrifying creatures imaginable. I may be severely uncomfortable with the queer baiting in Supernatural, but if a friend says they bought the DVD collection my response is not, “How dare you support those creators. You’re homophobic.” In the same way, someone purchasing Legacy should not generate the response, “How dare you support her. You’re transphobic.” There’s a miles’ worth of pitfalls in connecting the statements “You purchased a game based on the world created by a transphobic author” and “You yourself are transphobic.” 

So if buying Legacy does not add additional harm to the trans community from a financial perspective, and it doesn’t make a dent in Rowling’s platform, and playing a game is not evidence of your feelings towards the group the author hates… what are we left with? “But Clyde, it’s the principal of the thing. I don’t want to support a TERF” and that is an excellent argument. Your morals. Your ethics. What you can stomach having done or not done. But the “your” is incredibly important there. People need to understand that this is their own line in the sand and that if someone else’s line is different, that doesn’t mean they’re automatically a worse person than you. For example, I have made the choice not to eat at Chick-Fil-A. Not because I believe that me not giving them $3.75 for a sandwich will make a difference in their influence on the world, but because it makes a difference to me. It helps me sleep at night. So if not purchasing Legacy helps you sleep at night? That’s a fantastic reason not to buy it. But the flipside is that if someone else does purchase it that is not a reliable reflection of their morals, no more than I think my friends are homophobic for grabbing lunch at Chick-Fil-A now and then. Sometimes you just want a sandwich. 

“But Clyde, why would you want to buy it? Rowling is such a shit-stain I don’t understand how anyone can stomach supporting her—whether that support has an impact or not. Maybe someone eats at Chick-Fil-A because it’s close to them and they’re too busy to go elsewhere, or it’s all they can afford, or they don’t know how homophobic they are. There are lots of reasons to explain something like that. But you’re not ignorant to Rowling’s problem and there’s no scenario where you have to play this game, let alone spend money on it. So why?”

The reality is that I will likely be buying Legacy, second-hand if I can, but new if it comes to that, so I’ll give some of my personal answers here, in descending order of presumed selfishness:

5. Part of my work involves studying video games/Harry Potter and as a researcher of popular culture, my career depends on keeping up with major releases: good and bad. I often engage with stories I wholeheartedly disagree with for academic purposes, like Fifty Shades of Gray.

4. I find the “Just pirate it!” solution to be flawed. I’ve spent the last four months struggling to get my laptop fixed and I currently have no income to buy another if it were to suddenly develop a larger problem. I am not going to risk my $2,000 lifeline on an illegal download, no matter how safe and easy the Internet insists it is. 

3. We’ve been told that Rowling has not been involved in Legacy in any significant manner and I do want to support Portkey. No, not just financially because I know many others have insisted that everyone good has already been paid. Game companies still need to sell games. That’s why they exist. There’s a possibility that a company with just two mobile games under its belt will be in trouble if this completely flops. Is my purchase going to make or break things? No. Same reality as whether it will put new, influential money in Rowling’s pocket to do horrific things with. But I’d like to help a company that looks as if they put a lot of heart and energy into a game only to get hit with some real shit circumstances outside of their control. Even if they’re not impacted financially or career-wise… art is meant to be consumed. I know if I wrote a Harry Potter fic and everyone boycotted it because they want nothing to do with Rowling anymore, I’d be devastated. Sometimes, you can’t separate supporting the good people from supporting the bad. Not in a media landscape where thousands of people are involved in singular projects.

2. I’m invested in reclaiming excellent works created by horrible authors. That’s fandom! We don’t know much about Legacy yet—this is pure, unsubstantiated speculation—but this new story could be a step forward from Rowling’s books, giving us some of the respect for minority groups that she failed at. That’s the sort of work I want to promote because Harry Potter as a concept is great and I think it’s worth transforming it for our own needs and desires. The reality is that as long as Rowling is alive she’ll benefit from licensed material, but if that material can start taking her world in better directions? I want to support that too.

1. I literally just want to play it. That’s it. That’s my big justification. I think it looks phenomenal and I was itching to get my hands on it the second the trailer dropped. And you know what? I’m not in a good place right now to deny myself things I enjoy. I don’t need to tell anyone that 2020 has been an absolute horror show, but for me certain things have made it a horror show with a cherry on top. Not a lot gets me excited right now because we’re living in the worst fucking timeline, so when I find something that makes me feel positive emotions for a hot second I want to hang onto it. I have no desire to set aside that spark of happiness in a traumatic world because people on the Internet think it makes me selfish. Maybe it does, but I’m willing to let myself be a bit selfish right now. 

Which circles back to this issue of equating buying a game with active harm towards the trans community. It honestly worries me because this is a very, very easy way to avoid the harder, messier activism that will actually help the queer community. When someone says things like, “You’re choosing a stupid video game over trans lives” that activism is performative. Not only—as demonstrated above—is purchasing a game not a threat to trans lives or ignoring the game a way of protecting trans lives, it also gives people an incredibly easy out while still seeming ‘woke.’ Not all people. Maybe not even a significant portion of people, but enough people to be worrisome. “I’m not purchasing that game,” some people post and then that’s it. That’s all they do, yet they feel like they’ve done their duty when in fact they’ve made no active difference in the world. Are you donating to trans charities? Are you speaking up for your trans friends when someone accosts them? Are you circulating media by trans authors? Are you educating your family about trans issues? Are you listening to trans individuals and continually trying to educate yourself? These are the things that make a difference, not shaming others for buying a game.

All of this is not meant to be an argument that people shouldn’t be absolutely revolted by Rowling’s beliefs (they should) and that this revulsion can’t take the form of rejecting this game wholeheartedly. This isn’t even meant to be an argument that you shouldn’t encourage others to boycott because though the financial impact may be negligible, the emotional impact for you is very real. I 100% support anyone who wants to chuck this game into the trash and never talk about it again—for any reason. All this is meant to argue is that people shouldn’t judge others based on whether they purchase this game (with a side argument that we can’t limit our activism to that shaming). That’s their decision and this decision, significantly, does not add any real harm to the world. Your fellow Harry Potter fan is not the enemy here. We as a community should not be turning our visceral on one another. Turn it on Rowling. She’s the TERF, not the individual who, for whatever reason, decided they wanted to play the game only tangentially related to her.  

If Twitter and Tumblr are any indication, I can imagine the sort of responses this post may generate: “That’s a whole lot of talk to try and convince us you’re not a transphobe :/ ” For those of you who are determined to simply things to that extent, there’s nothing I can say that will change your mind. Please re-read the disclaimer and consider whether yelling at me over anon will benefit the trans community. For those of you who are still here, I do legitimately want us to think critically about the kinds of activism we’re engaging in, how performative it might be, whether it harms the community in any way, and (most significantly) whether it’s actually moving us towards a safe, respective world for trans people to live in. Personally, I don’t think telling Harry Potter fans that they’re transphobic for buying Legacy will generate any good in this world, for them or for the trans community. 

At the end of the day only you can decide whether you can stomach buying this game or not. Decide that for yourself, but make that decision knowing that there’s no wrong answer here.  

[flojocabron]

12/05/18: It was a bittersweet day today. I found the usual great things at the local fleamarkets and Mexican customs found me too, as I tried to make it home. Lemme show you the goods and then the bad news at the end. You tell me if it was just timing or bad luck. The first get was Dark City on bluray for $3.00. After that, hidden under some table, a casefull of X-Men comics! I looked through them and the guy initially said, 4 for $1.00. But he changed his mind and offered $10 for it all! Of course I bought them! A quick trip to the car and it was back to searching! The next stuff was scattered all over, but I searched thoroughly. 11 manga, a big mousepad, that ps2 game, apollo 13 DVD, a gamegear baseball game and some more magic cards. I got a great offer for everything, $10 dollars! It was an impulse buy, but I found a little baggy of Lego dimensions blocks for $2.00. In the next stall I found a big binder full of 90s PC games, original and backup copies. I saw some familiar logos, and for $4.00 I found disc only copies of sewer shark sega CD, Supreme Warrior sega CD, and Blood Omen legacy of Kain ps1and thrown in for free to the lot was that ninja turtles toy! As i was getting ready to leave and pay for Dark Souls 360 for $4.00, I got a call from a friend who wanted me to find him a cheap tablet. I didn't see any there, so I went to the other fleamarket. I didn't see any there either. But I'm glad I went! As I found a dreamcast with a power cable for $8.00! And after that, I found taped together: Megaman legends and Megaman x5! I snatched that up real quick! I peeled them apart, and sadly MMX5 had a metal gear game in it. But Legends was complete! I already have at home MMX5 disc only, so I could use the case. I asked how much for both. $10, The lady replied. Sold! It was already midday and after getting something to eat, I went back to the first fleamarket again. Towards the end, they pretty much give stuff away. I found a place with a $5.00 bag deal. The bag was a good size and so was the stuff. I found some DK bongos and gamecube dance mat. A new/old CD burner, some DVDs, games, and other random things and junk. I was giddy and pleased with my haul. That is until I made it to the Mexican border and got the red inspection buzzer! Damn. A customs officer told me to open my trunk. I could see his eyes light up with money signs as he did his job. He gave me the same scare tactics of people caught importing too much goods. I knew then and there, I was fucked. They had to call their supervisor and give me their estimate over the value of the goods I had. I told them, these are used goods and I didn't pay retail. But they didn't care. They slapped me good with an $800 peso ($41 US) fine. They said my stuff was worth $247 US dollars and taxed me the equivalent of 16%. Fuckers. I've gotten buzzed in the past with more things them this and they've let me go no problems. But since its the holidays, they know they can get away with charging people whatever they want. They just want their cut. And cut me they did. And so ends another day for this collector.

[acaarticles]

Why Call of Duty mobile is the best mobile game

In 2003, The first Call of Duty was released to the public. Call of Duty was made by Infinity Ward and published by Activision. The game at that point took a lot of inspiration from Medal of Honor: Allied Assault, released in 2002 by 2015 ink. Which it still carries on some of those inspiration to this very day. Which isn't surprising given that Infinity Ward was made up of a lot of people who worked at 2015 ink. before making Call of Duty. Something of interest is that the game, even though it took inspiration from Allied Assault, still feels and plays like its own game. During the development of the original Call of Duty Activision partnered with Sparks Unlimited, a small game development company, To start work on a independent console version of Call of Duty. So in 2004 Call of Duty: Finest Hour became Call of Duty's first home console game in the series. Call of Duty: Finest Hour was released to decent reception. Some people said it wasn't as good as the last one, But still pretty good.

After Call of Duty: Finest Hour, It took some time. But in 2005, the developers released Call of Duty 2 for the Xbox 360 and PC. Which was a huge turning point for the series as 70% of all people who bought an Xbox 360 also bought Call of Duty 2.

On November 11th, 2008, Call of Duty released Call of Duty: World at War. At the time, people enjoyed it. But hidden in the game was a secret. A secret we know now as Zombie mode. This was the first time a Call of Duty game had zombies. You may be wondering why was it a secret if everybody loved it. Due to the strong subject matter, they didn't want to take any focus away from it.

So we got the ground work history done, now let's talk about Call of Duty Mobile. Mobile games have a long history of being bad. A lot of people in The Gaming Community find Mobile gaming as a joke. But on October 1st, 2019, Call of Duty mobile was released. The game had a lot of hype. Growing up with Call of Duty, I was excited for it too. Other games like Fortnite and PUBG had already released mobile ports. Both made by Tenzin, a Chinese development company and Timi another Chinese development company. It was still published by Activision though.

You may be saying well this is great but let's get to the point why is Call of Duty mobile better than any other mobile game. There's a lots of reasons including the Battle Royale, and the developers fostering a good community. One of the big reasons is that the game isn't filled with microtransactions. The mobile market has been flooded with these cheap microtransaction games for years now. Call of Duty Mobile isn't like that. I've been playing for a month I'm already level 62 and I'm a rank veteran one. I didn't buy anything with real money I just played the game. As a mobile gamer this is a great thing for the community.

But another thing that's important. As a fan of Call of Duty is it good? Yes, it's very good, the Battle Royale works decently. Me personally, my phone lags when too many people are around me. But it still works very well, I've gotten second place in Battle Royale countless amount of times.

Ranked matches are fun and you win stuff sometimes when you rank up, making you feel rewarded for the hard work you put into the game.

Leveling up still has its benefits too. You can get different things in the game by leveling up. But it's always cool to talk to others about what level you are and how you're doing in the game.

Oh I almost forgot about tiers, as you progress in the game you can go up in tiers by completing missions and goals. As you progress in tiers, you can win even more stuff. I'm working to get higher in my tiers so I can get a Arctic 50, one of the best guns in the game.

Now it does have issues, the game is currently dealing with a hacking issue. But the developers have said that they are working on dealing with this issue. Also, it's kind of hard to play the game sometimes do to lag. But it's not really the game's fault it's just the internet in your area. Another problem is some guns are overpowered. But the developers have said in a community post that they are working on that issue as well.

I honestly believe that this is a tremendous moment in the mobile gaming market. This game is definitely worth your time and fun to play. You can download it for IOS and Android and it's free. It's not a play to win game.

All of this together will be good for just any Call of Duty game. But as a mobile game this is leagues above any other mobile game on the market. With every update it seems to be getting better. It's just missing one thing, zombies, but that's coming and once that's released this will be the best mobile game, possibly the best game of the year.

Thank you for reading this article and have a tremendous day. This is Kody with Ace articles saying goodbye and God bless.

Written by, Kody Cassell

Edited by, Mike C

[ratralsis]

I have been badly neglecting this tumblr, and my writing in general. I'd like to change that, but I say something to that effect at least a few times a year. Sometimes it lasts a couple of months, sometimes only a post or two.

Last year, for example, I replayed every route in a visual novel that I wanted to write about, then never actually wrote about it. If I were to write about it now, my memory of the game would be so full of holes that the post would be trash. I guess I have to replay it again, or something. Maybe take notes this time. That'd be a good idea.

I've played a bunch of games in the last six months, and I'd like to write about some of them, too.

I got God of War, the new one, as part of a Black Friday sale. It's good. It isn't great. It isn't worth writing about. I'm sorry. It's true. It's a solid little action game with extremely repetitive combat that relies too heavily on difficulty as a game mechanic and requires too much grinding to get the best upgrades for the best armor.

I got Kirby Super Star Allies, as well, and that's a game that is definitely worth writing about. It's a baby game, for babies, and I love it. It's a delight to look at. The experience of marching endlessly forward through the levels, pausing occasionally for a puzzle, but never because the combat is particularly hard, is just plain fun. It's a relaxing game for when you're already in a slightly relaxed mood. And I love each and every Dream Friend, and I think that the three Mage Sisters are an overpowered blast to play.

I would like to write more about that, and about the optional, more difficult, modes in the game, and what Kirby represents. Hint: Kirby is an unstoppable killing machine, and we all love him for it. I am no exception. I love Kirby, too.

I played Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom on Switch, and loved it. I completed it in about 18 hours, which I thought was pretty good. I took a lot of time pursuing dead ends and grinding for money, and wasn't trying hard to go fast. It's a charming game that does a good job of feeling like the old Wonder Boy games. I think it's a bit too easy to die to regular enemies, and that it's a bit too quick to bestow mercy health on you when you die a few times to a boss, but it's still fun and the ending is one of the best I've ever seen in any game, ever, due to its incredibly ballsy brevity. It's an animated cutscene less than a minute long with no dialogue that still provides closure to almost every dangling plot thread (the only one it doesn't, as far as I could see, was what happened to Mysticat, the man behind the big bad who just sort of wanders off-screen before you fight the final boss).

What else, what else... I started Hollow Knight recently, for the second time. I own it on Steam because it was part of a deeply discounted deal that got me a Steam Link I have never used, and I got it again on Switch for $10. I haven't gotten far on either version. Despite regular encouragements from reviews saying I need to stick it out until the second area's boss or so, I haven't even made it to the first boss, haha. It's super annoying to make money to buy the map, quill, and compass, and without those I genuinely have no idea where I am in the game world at any given time. I'm only in the first area and I can't stop getting lost! I kind of hate it!

I can't say it's because I hate all Metroidvania exploration whatever games, because I JUST said I liked Monster Boy enough to get every item. I'll keep trying at the Switch and see if I get far enough to like the game.

I've done it before. Final Fantasy X, for example, has a truly awful first few hours, and is one of my favorites in the series. Cave Story is another game like that. I would go so far as to call Cave Story my "game of the decade" for last decade.

(For those curious, my game of the decade for the 90's is Metal Gear Solid, and of the 2010's is Undertale. I base that not on how awesomely fun they are, but on how much they affected me as a person and changed the way I think about things. Metal Gear Solid did what no other art could do to teenage me and taught me clearly what PTSD and real trauma are, but I have no interest in replaying it and don't really like later games in the series.)

(The 80's don't have a game of the year because I was too young when they ended to care.)

Anything else in the last six months that I played that I want to write about? Did I actually write about Dragon Quest XI here or not? I played it on PS4 and earned my first platinum trophy playing it. I GOT a platinum on Nier: Automata, but I didn't earn it. I bought all the trophies after finishing the game. You can do that. It counts. But it doesn't feel very good.

Dragon Quest XI is absolutely worth writing about, though. It's pretty great, in general. My favorite in the series? I don't know. It's too new for me to be sure. It certainly has things I don't like, like the forging minigame used to upgrade equipment. Could have done without that!

I've also, of course, played an absolute shitload of games on my phone and as many more adult games on PC that I probably won't write about because they aren't worth it. Do you care what I think of Hammer Quest, a game where you march 100 meters per stage while swinging a hammer? I paid my $7 and finished everything that game has to offer, even maxing out my level and the levels of the two hidden hammers, but it isn't interesting to write about.

I guess I could if someone wanted me to, but I'd mostly just be writing about strategies rather than my thoughts on the plot or characters or what they mean to me. I could write about Kirby. I don't think I could write about... What's even that guy's name, Leon? Maybe? Doesn't matter. That's kind of the whole point.

I could write about Christmas or my birthday, which was this last Sunday, but I don't think I will. They were stressful and I'm glad they're over, but also, very little actually happened. Nobody celebrated my birthday, so I got another year older without a surprise party or cake or anything like that. I'm fine with it. I'm not happy about it, but I'm fine with it.

I don't know what else I could say. Maybe this is enough for now. Maybe writing about the relative fighting skills of everybody in Megatown yesterday got me fired up and feeling like writing again. Maybe I already was, a little bit, when I wrote that last night. It isn't my first work. I repeat a lot of phrases ("I imagine," "I'd have to think," "I highly doubt," and so on), and it doesn't flow very well. Still, it was fun to write.

It generally is, for me. I guess that's why I do it. Or why I should, at least. I'm awfully inconsistent.

[topicprinter]

Hi all, long post incoming!After 9 months of hustling away and looking back to see that I haven't even made a single penny from my business, I'm starting to wonder if it's worth continuing to pursue at this point.Im 20F, based in London. The core function of my business is to source development land for property developers and home builders. There are loads of them in the UK, of all sizes, from large national companies to small, local independent developers. I know that there is definitely a demand for my service, because I've straight up had developers contact me with their criteria so I can bring them opportunities.Here's how I operate. I contact developers and ask them if they are looking for development opportunities. An overwhelming majority of the time, they say yes. I extract their criteria so I can know what exactly they are looking for. This is crucial. If I bring them a development opportunity that they're not looking for, they will straight up refuse to look further into it, so it's important I bring them exactly what they seek.Then, I go out and contact landowners. I introduce myself, tell them that I represent developers who are looking to acquire land to build on, and ask them if they would be interested in having their land looked at by my developers. If they say yes, I do some market research and perform a crude, basic appraisal to see if the land would make a desirable development opportunity on paper. This means that if a developer were to buy the land, build homes on it and sold the homes, would they still make a minimum 20% net profit after build costs and all other associated costs? (stamp duty, professional fees, finance, marketing, etc)If the answer is yes, I will then "package" up the deal by writing a small report about the development opportunity. This report gives important information about the development land, the circumstances of the seller, estimations of the post development value and proof to justify how I arrived at that amount, estimations of the development costs and estimations of the potential profit the developer could make. Obviously they would have to do their own due diligence, but its just to give them a general idea of what they could potentially be looking at.Then, I send the report to my developers, and at that point the ball is in their court. I wait for them to tell me whether they're interested or not. If they like the deal and they feel it's a good opportunity, I will connect them to the vendor, they will purchase the land and I will get 2% of whatever the purchase price is.Herein lies the problem. Again and again I've only gotten up to that very last part. I've found the landowner, got them on board, researched their land, analysed it to see if it would stack up as a development opportunity, "packaged" up the deal, presented it to developers. And then it all grinds to a halt. That's where the problems start. I've come very very very close to having a deal close, I've had developers express interest, only to have one thing go wrong and they decide to call it off. It's incredibly frustrating. And the thing is, I only get paid when the sale goes through. So often times I'll put in hours of work finding and vetting an opportunity, I'd get the vendor's hopes up, I'd do all the research to see if the deal stacks, and at the crucial stage things will fall apart. All the build up and all the work will just go to waste. I must have done this hundreds of times.Now, to be fair, I've learned a lot as a result of this process. I've learned more about property development than I ever thought I would. I've learned how to perform market research and come up with a post development value based on what nearby properties have sold for. I've learned how to find out the rough value of a plot of land (often times vendors are asking for waaaaay too much). I've learned how to estimate the build cost for a development. I've learned how to read planning permissions. I've learned what sort of profit margins developers are looking for (20% net minimum). I've learned the jargon; when I speak to developers I can speak their language fluently and they have some confidence that I know what I'm doing. I've had a developer tell me I come across as professional and put together. I've had a vendor told me she'd rather work with me than an estate agent.I've had all these tiny wins, built all these great skills, gained and all this knowledge. I've come so, so bloody close. In some ways, this experience has not been a total waste due to the sheer amount I've learned. But at the end of the day, I got into business to earn money. And so far I've made a grand total of £0. I'm facing pressure from my parents, who were never really confident about the idea of entrepreneurship anyway, to go back to school or get a full time job because what I'm doing now is bringing in no income. Its starting to chip at me. Especially on days like today where I reach out to dozens of vendors and developers and not hear back from a single one.What if I actually am wasting my time?I can't help but think that if I'm having such a hard time getting just one deal done now, how will I be able to turn this business into a recurring source of income?I've had ideas of how I could automate things, and I've seen some success so far. Previously I'd get developers on board by scheduling a call with them and asking them questions about their criteria. It was extremely time intensive as each call would take about 5-20 minutes. I'd do these calls everyday and would have to fit 6/7 in. It left me exhausted. Now I have a form of qualifying questions that I promote on LinkedIn via cold messaging or just by uploading a post to my 2k connections, and I've been able to get 50 new developers on board in 4 days just by automating that process. It was my first big win as more developers mean more liklihood of getting a deal go through.Victories like that give me reason to believe my business is viable. There's a healthy demand. I now have 60 developers who have given me their requirements and contact details so I can send them deals. This is a seemingly unexplored niche too, as I've noticed that not many people in my industry are really catering towards sourcing land for developers.I'm starting to understand that it's a number's game. I have one half of the equation with my increased client base of developers, now I just need a steady pipeline of deals, which I seem to be struggling with. I've had ideas to automate the vendor side of things by creating a website, promoting it through SEO and PPC, and then including a similar form where landowners looking to sell their land can input their details. If I can have both sides automated, with regular deals flowing in and a decent base of developers to send them to, all I'd have to do is focus on vetting and packaging deals and sending them to my developers. And with more deals out to developers, there's a higher chance that one might just say "yes".So that's my plan. If I can get to that stage that'd be a dream. It'd mean I'd have significantly more time available to me. Right now the large portion of my time goes towards manually looking for land, finding the landowners, contacting them via cold call, email or direct mail, and crossing my fingers for a response. Its slow and ineffective. Its frustrating when I don't get a response.I suppose the main takeaway from this long ass post is: I've been working on my business for 9 months. There is a real demand for my service. I'm making loads of mistakes but each mistake has taught me how I can be better. I do feel like I'm "failing towards my goal" by refining myself with each failure. But I've not made any money so far. And with how long it's taking to get one deal, I'm wondering how the hell I will be able to make a stable living on this business, let alone achieve the lifestyle I've always dreamed of. My goal is to be able to automate my business to the point where I automatically have deals coming in, and a decent client base to send them to, and the only duty I have being to package the good ones up and send them out to my developers on a regular enough basis where I have them closing consistently. I already have the developer side somewhat locked down, now I need to create the pipeline of deals.The thing I want to know is, how can I do this? I've been playing with the idea of creating a website and using SEO to capture leads from landowners looking to sell. I've also considered reaching out to local estate agents and asking them to send me deals before they hit the market. Right now I'm focusing on "push" marketing when my aim should be to "pull" in my deals. Any ideas I could implement to make this successful?And more importantly, can you see the viability in this business? I'm happy to keep on grinding and putting in the time and effort. I'd happy ring up every estate agent in the area if I have to. I'll learn SEO all from scratch if necessary. But only if there's a real chance that this will work. So should I keep on trucking? Or am I wasting my time?Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts

[taesthetes]

(1/?) Travel-anon-hi! Sorry for the late reply, I've been feeling a bit under the weather D: But wow! That's so sweet of you for what you did for your mom! My family's not big on celebrating parent days, but we do go out for dinners - my mom's bday is a couple days before, so we merge the two ;u;~ Thank you! I'll probably come back with a pile of photos, and be super picky which to instagram, haha. Oh! Good idea with the perfume! I normally don't carry any, but this sounds like a good reason to.

(2/?) Aw, you had to give up your internship? I’m sorry D: but on the bright side, vacation? Would you be able to do the internship another time? In terms of expensiveness, I think HK topped it for me. The livelihood there is super high end and overpriced to me :/ And ikr! I wish it were like that here too, but North America’s just too big and spread out for that unless you lived downtown, but that’s expensive D: In December, one Japan night was 24 degrees celsius ouo;; that’s pretty much summer

(3/?) But it does depend where you’re at in Japan! That night I was in Tokyo! It’ll be colder if you’re farther north~ I don’t know if the magikarp promo is still going D: but if it is, you definitely have to try it! I actually like the “crispy sandwich caramel” haagen dazs! I can’t get it where I’m from ;u; so depriveeeed. Your convenience stores sound so much better than mine! All mine have are dollar store things and candy OTL? Usually super grungy looking too. Aw, that’s cute! Do you visit?

(4/?) For the cat, not your sister (well, I guess her too), haha. I don’t remember, did you say you’d try to get a pet in the future for yourself, maybe? Yep! Certain holidays or popular events cause tickets to be more expensive to those countries during those times~ It’s still modern art?! Why isn’t there any traditional ones D:?! I actually prefer modern art, haha; mostly the interactive type ones! I don’t particularly have a favourite artist; I appreciate based on how interesting their-

(5/?) concepts are and how well they executed it. I mean, we did drop a lot of cash on the machines (and won nothing a lot of times), so I’m pretty sure that’s why they took pity on us, haha! I hope you’re lucky enough to either win it yourself, or find someone to help you! I also wish for you to be good at those games ;D! Have you had any more ramen since I last spoke to you? You’re still making me crave for it, and I can’t have any right now ;u; Oo, barely any jet lag can be a good thing!

(6/?) I don’t jet lag much when I travel, but the bits that I do, I accounted for, and used it for long-term traveling within the country! Oo, I hope I get to try a vietnamese hot pot some time then :D! If we ever manage to meet up in another country, let’s hit up vietnamese hot pot, haha. Omg, both of those movies were so good!! Infinity war, I really hope you do get to see it soon D: There’s so many spoilers out already, and it would suck if you got completely ruined to it beforehand!

(7/?) I preordered all 4 albums when they first opened it :D;; If I was only getting 1 of them though, I’d have gotten O! What about you? Did you preorder, or are you going to hit up a store when it’s released where you are? Which is your favourite concept? And, omg, yes. Jimin’s pretty hardcore when it comes to going 0 to 100, so I tend to die fairly often, haha. How do you manage to keep up with Tae?! He’s just as bad, if not worse, than Jimin’s 0-100?! He’s too pretty and amazing as a person!

(8/8) I was going to end this at 7, but well, here’s 8, haha. I follow on yt, and when a notice pops up, I listen and fav the song if it matches my tastes :D NCT is going haaard right now, like wow, almost every other week or two OTL I’ve been into kpop for so long that I like a lot of groups, so it’s hard to recount all of them, haha. What about you? Who else do you listen to? How long have you been into kpop? How was the Tswift concert?! Did you have an amazing time?? How early did you lineup?

hello, m’love!! oh noo, i’m so sorry to hear that ): are you feeling better now? make sure to drink lots of fluids and rest up! and thank you :’) i hope you had a good dinner with your family!! and happy belated birthday to your mom 💕 oh gosh, my instagram is a mess, i just post sporadically and nothing matches. but i think i’ll start trying to make a nicer instagram page though haha. yeah, it’s pretty helpful with the perfume because you can’t bring pepper spray onto planes or anything for travel, so i just pack a small perfume bottle instead!

yeah, i’m excited for the vacation!! i won’t be able to do an internship until next summer then unfortunately. oooh, i heard kong kong is really nice! but i’ll make sure not to go there until i have money lmao. yeah, the only way walking is fine in north america is if i live in one of the big cities, like nyc. oh my god, in december??? it’s going to be even worse since i’m going in the summer D: i think overall it’s going to be very hot in japan because it’s summer when i’ll be there. 

ahhh, even if there’s no magikarp, i’m still excited to eat taiyaki!! omg ok, i’ll make sure to get that ice cream flavor when i’m there :o and that really sucks ): hopefully, you’ll get to come back to japan soon and then you can get the ice cream :D ah yeah, there’s a lot of dollar store items and travel items too and candy. i think most convenience stores are pretty grungy tbh. i visited her last year! but that was before she got a cat sadly ):

and yes!! i want to get a dog and a cat in the future! i suppose there are a few traditional art pieces on display? but i think most people here enjoy modernized art more, like even the buildings and such in the usa are much more modern compared to europe. i guess it’s because the usa hasn’t been a country for as long as european countries, so everything is newer looking. oooh nice!! interactive art is always fun! :D modern art is really beautiful too, but sometimes, i see something like the entire canvas is painted one color with only one stripe down it and i’m like ??? how is this worth 91283472319 dollars???

asdfjkads that’s going to be me. i’m going to spend all my money on the crane machines and win nothing, so let’s hope someone will help me ahah and thank you!! fingers crossed! :’)  and i haven’t had any ramen since ): ramen isn’t the healthiest, so i try not to eat it often. ajsdhfalks but you can’t have any right now? D: did you run out? oooh, and that’s smart! i really hope the jet lag won’t hit so hard because i want to explore everything, but there’s never enough time. and yes!! we’ll definitely get vietnamese hot pot, and then you’ll have to show me all your favorite food places too :D ahhh, i want to see both of them soon! i took my last midterm yesterday, but i still have papers and several projects to do ): and my weekends are packed since i have some things to go to for my friends’ birthdays and i think we might do a road trip for the upcoming memorial weekend since we get monday off.

and omg so lucky!! all four wow :o well, i didn’t preorder it, but i don’t know which album i want either. maybe R or O? because they all look good in denim, but tae had that lip ring.. and unfortunately, they don’t sell kpop merch in stores anywhere near me /: so i’ll have to order it from amazon if i do buy it! honestly all the concepts are pretty though. jimin’s stage presence vs real life is mind blowing with how he can switch so fast. askdlhfjaj i barely keep up with tae, he’s too perfect and he’s such a sweetheart pluS HIS DOGS AND CAT ARE SO CUTE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

asdf,nasd oh my god i love nct so so so much, like nct dream is my ult boy group favorite, and i’m so sad mark is graduating from the dreamies after this year ): did you see their chain mv? who’s your bias? oh my gosh i’m so excited to hear you like nct alskdjfhalew i really, really, really love taeyeon, like she’s my ult bias, but i also love shinee and blackpink (when will they release a new song)!!! i follow up with those three and nct the most. but i also listen to red velvet, gfriend, twice, kard, day6, wanna one, monsta x, infinite, vixx, astro, and f(x) like when are they coming back ): oh and (g)i-dle!!! i pretty much listen to whatever group that currently makes a comeback, so i know the title songs of most of the kpop groups, but i don’t know each of the members’ names. and i’ve been into kpop since early 2014 :’)

ooooh my god, the taylor swift concert marks the best night of my life, likE I LOVE HER SO MUCH I’VE BEEN A FAN SINCE 2006 AND I CAN’T BELIEVE I FINALLY GOT TO GO TO HER CONCERT!!!! but i got there two hours early for the lineup, and when it started, i sang along for every single song, and when she sang a mashup with long live included, i was over the moon, plus before the concert, i was like oh hey what if she sings the best day because it’s mother’s day tomorrow anD SHE ACTUALLY DID AND I CRIED OMG I GOT SO EMO i was shaking like i tried to get good videos on my phone, but my phone also died and the video will show you how shaky i actually was and wow i just– best experience, i will definitely go to her concerts over and over again and i just loved it so much. so yeah i was pretty excited and super happy overall :’) and how is your week going? 💗