#i've come so far

[transgirlthanatos]

2019 vs 2024

Jumping on this bandwagon because fuckit this place might be dying anyway.

Never been happier about myself 🥰🥰🥰

[shallyne]

I've come across yet another tiktok where people made fun of Elain and Nesta being unhappy after the cauldron and why they were the way they were and just

Y'all realize that they literally drowned, right? Yeah no I personally doubt y'all would have gone through thatb on your own free will because they, like, drowned. They drowned. They went through a REALLY traumatizing event, shived into a cauldron against their will, made anew and pushed into another life. Hot, bat-winged guys don't magically make that better, yk. The trauma is there, the trauma will always be there. Nesta was literally deadly afraid of bathtubs.

Just wanted ro remind y'all. I'm not against jokes but like, I feel like some of y'all see a joke and take ot seriously and think, you know, it's true.

WELL anyways that's it byeeeee

[iavenjqasdf]

All these years of worthlessness really take their toll

[samguayart]

Tumblr is a weird place. My ancient Nimona fanart is circulating right now, stuff that I barely remember painting and is attached to a long dead username. I’m going to have to watch the movie and make new fanart to make myself feel better.

[timesnewronance]

This is a tumblr hug, or a tumblr high five, or a tumblr sitting in the same room together, pass it on to your favorite followers and mutuals <3

me @ you rn mr. juckley

[iysics]

.

[miraclerizuin]

if I ever worry that I’ve made no progress in my life, I just have to remember that I now know

when someone gives you a gift, it’s rude to say “I already have one of those”

[egophiliac]

this started as a reply to someone (a million years ago) (I am so sorry) and then very quickly got out of control, as these things do. so...uhhh....here's everyone else at Playful Land!

sorry

[dipdieddreams]

The Thing About Healing Is...

I’m just so angry about it. I am angry that I have to heal. Sure I’m doing it because I want an incredible life but still. Why didn’t Sarah - the piece of crap that she is - struggle THIS much with people and friends and life?

I am angry than I couldn’t even imagine that I would get a job and earn money and it would be ok to LIVE A LIFE WITH A SALARY until like 3 weeks ago?

I’m angry that I’ve accepted SO little in my relationships and my life. 

I’m angry that I’ve never known how to really look after myself.

I’m angry that I pushed SO many people away because they didn’t meet some weird level of quality that I deem my friends HAVE TO BE. All the relationships I didn’t give a chance.  I’m angry that I kept going like this for almost 22 years and NO-ONE. NO-ONE sat me down and said IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT YOU WERE ABUSED. THAT SHIT IN YOUR HEAD IS NOT FROM YOU. THE SELF DOES NOT TALK CRAP ABOUT THE SELF UNLESS SOMETHING HAS GONE WRONG WITH THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU AS YOU GROW UP.

My mum tells me that I wouldn’t have listened if someone had told me to follow my heart and not try so hard in school - I would have listened to you. She was and kinda still is THE MOST powerful voice to me. What she says - I HAVE TO AGREE WITH or I’m scared I will be punished and or die. But also honestly fuck what my mum says. And I sound like an angry teenager and my life feels so off track but fuck it. We move.

But like how do I communicate to people that I was SO SCARED of MY LIFE GOING WRONG that I internalised the idea that I wouldn’t ever hold a job, have a house, have ANYTHING normal in my life and that all I see is how temporary it all is and that anything can go wrong at any minute.

What I experienced was so INSIDIOUS and it’s like what am I even doing thinking of bringing someone into my life romantically when this is SO HARD to articulate and communicate that I LITERALLY BELIEVED EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE WOULD GO WRONG. And like even with that I still did some awesome stuff so clearly not everything, but I always felt it was much more likely to go wrong.

And like, I’m back in therapy, I’m doing my Moon Rising and my spiritual healing and journalling and learning to look after myself again. I will get there, it will be ok. Step by step moment by moment.

Last Saturday I felt on top of the world. Hell yesterday morning I felt on top of the world - right now I feel, will I ever be the person I want to be? 

And I hear a resounding ‘YES’ sound through me. So yeah I’ll keep going, but we’re into some dark shit my friends. And I am angry that I my soul feels so deeply entrenched in fear, every action I take is in fear (usually). 

And I don’t want to burden anyone with this because it’s just not fair, so here I am screaming into the void.

I’ll be ok my friends

[dylanconrique]

TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

[canisalbus]

✦ I was never as good as I always thought I was ✦

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A fierce duel commences!

[mikesbasementbeets]

Sometimes I think it's just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel. Especially to people you care about the most. Because what if... what if they don't like the truth? // Sometimes people don’t really say what they’re really thinking. But, you capture the right moment… it says more. // I didn't say it. // You didn't have to.

[remake of my very first gifset one year later]

[fenniefrost]

I just looked through my old old asks and damn. I was a whole other person. 

[rodatirhaalo]

I think my favorite little parallel between Ascended vs Spawn Astarion has to be this little, probably even unintentional, detail in the epilogue:

Mr Vampire Ascendant, when confronted about freedom, asking the pc if they'd prefer sleeping in the dirt over "living" in his prescribed decadence.

Meanwhile, if left as a spawn Astarion is like

*Passes several chairs, rugs, a pile of pillows, and two log benches to plant his pretty little ass in the dirt*

"THIS DIRT'S THE BEST! I LOVE DIRT!!"