#i've never really tried drawing facial hair before?

[a-shoebox-named-meap]

been a long, long time :’) hopefully a fan art next

[jesterwriting]

Yahallo~ I was wondering if you might write something for Crocodile x reader where reader is sweet and bubbly and affectionate. So, I've had a scenario in my head for awhile where reader is his wife and she goes to visit him at his casino one day just because he hasn't been home in a while and she misses him. Except she's never actually been to the casino before, much less introduced to most of his crew because she's Crocodile's happy little secret. So the bouncers don't let her in and reader decides to cause a commotion, which draws Crocodile out and I'm never actually sure what happens from there. Lol I'd like it to be mostly warm and fluffy, though. I love the idea of a big cold man being warm only for their lover.

I hope you have a lovely day. You're a beautiful honey bun. ♡〜٩(ㆁωㆁ)۶〜♡

pairing: crocodile x gn!reader

contents: established relationship, fluff, secret relationships, kind!reader, smitten!crocodile, crocodile calls you doll, kind of implied the reader tops him later which i personally think is very powerful of them

word count: 1.3k words

note: this is such a cute and funny idea <33 i took some liberties with this, there is no big scene at the door, just because the kind personality of the reader i was going for clashed with that a little bit. and i went a gender neutral route just because it's easier for me. i hope you still enjoy anyway! i absolutely love secret relationships and would love to do more with crocodile and this trope :3

playlist: diet mountain dew - lana del rey

Not once did you care that you were one of Crocodile’s best kept secrets. You understood why such precautions were necessary. Your husband was a powerful man with countless enemies, to have his one weakness known to all would be a terrible oversight on his part. Not only that, but it would also put you in a considerable amount of danger. You were soft, you weren’t ashamed of it. To remain kind in a cruel world took strength. In your opinion at least.

Sometimes, however, it took more strength than usual to remain understanding. This was one such occasion.

You had your own life outside of your husband, much to his dismay. It was half the reason he insisted on keeping your union under wraps. If Crocodile had it his way, you’d be by his side 24/7, or at the very least, surrounded by bodyguards everytime you left his line of sight. He was a cautious man by nature. One did not achieve the power he had by being reckless, especially not with those he loved.

That said, Crocodile hadn’t been home in days and you were starting to get worried. You knew his work was dangerous, keeping Alabasta safe from pirates was not what you’d call an ‘easy’ job. Instead of waiting around for him to return home on his own — inevitably to grump about the kisses you placed upon his facial scar, or the tender way you ran your fingers through his hair — you decided to seek him out. If there was one place where he would be, it would be at the casino.

Unfortunately for you, they wouldn’t let you in.

“Again, the casino is closed to all outside patrons for an event. I can’t let you in if your name isn’t on the list.” The doorman was starting to get frustrated with you stubbornness. You understood why, really you did. This was his job and you had been pestering him for the better part of thirty minutes. While you had patience, you were no saint. This whole situation was starting to get on your last nerve.

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you let out a sigh. “And I get that, but I’m looking for my husband. I know he’s in there, can’t you go get him for me and we can talk outside the venue?”

The doorman hummed, considering the option. Finally, he gave you the smallest of smiles, the first you had gotten from him the whole night. “That’s doable. What’s his name so I can send someone to fetch him?”

You chewed on your bottom lip. This wasn’t going to go well. How many people tried to sneak their way into events using your husband’s name? For all this man knew, you were another lovesick fan, trying to get a whiff of the hero of Alabasta’s cologne before you were escorted out by security.

Whatever. It wouldn’t hurt to try, you thought.

“Um. Crocodile?”

The doorman burst out laughing, head thrown back and tears spilling down his cheeks. “Listen, you’re a looker, but you’re not that good looking. Now scram, I have a job to do.”

With a deep breath, you tried again. “I’m serious, he’s my husband. Please let me in.”

“Yeah, and I’m the king. Don’t make me call security on you.”

If Crocodile found out that the doorman called security on you, the man’s job would be down the drain before he could say ‘sorry.’ You didn’t want that, even if in your current irritation, you’d feel quite a bit vindicated. It was people like him that kept your husband safe, even if he did so in a rather frustrating manner.

You shuffled your feet, blinking a few times at the man who laughed in your face. Okay, maybe you did want him fired, but you were better than that. Kinder than that.

There was a commotion coming from the casino. You peered behind the doorman to see your husband surrounded by a hoard of Alabastan citizens, all clamoring for his attention. Your heart swelled at the sight of him, relieved to find him safe and sound. As much as you wanted to give him a piece of your mind for worrying you so much, the doorman’s glare was starting to get to you. Now that you knew he was alive, you could wait a little bit longer for Crocodile to return home.

“Well, thank you for your time,” You said as politely as you could. Even then, the words came out forced between clenched teeth.

The doorman merely rolled his eyes in response. Right before you turned your back, you caught your husband’s gaze. Crocodile’s eyebrows shot up at the sight of you, surprise replacing his previous annoyance. Flashing him a small smile and a wave, you turned to make your way home. You barely made it a few steps before Crocodile’s hand was on your shoulder, his grip firm enough to hold you in place. The crowd that surrounded him was gone, off to find someone else to celebrate with — or pester, as Crocodile was prone to say.

“What are you doing here, doll?”

Whipping around, you slotted your hands on your hips and hit your husband with the worst glare you could muster. You tried not to be disappointed when all you were met with was a glimmer of amusement. “Looking for you. It’s been days since you’ve been home, I was starting to get worried.”

Crocodile shrugged and took an inhale of his cigar. “There was no need for you to come here, I was coming home tonight.”

“And how am I supposed to know that if you don’t tell me. I’m not a mind reader,” You shot back.

Crocodile sighed, a cloud of smoke accompanied the action. You really wished he would quit, but you weren’t naive enough to believe you could convince him. The doorman coughed a few times, drawing both you and your husband’s attention. He looked absolutely dumbfounded at the scene playing out in front of him. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, and you had hoped he had enough wherewithal to keep himself hidden so as not to earn your husband’s ire. Evidently not.

“I am so sorry,” The doorman started, hands numbly raised in surrender.

Wow. This man was the biggest idiot you had ever met. Crocodile slowly turned in his direction, a single eyebrow raised.

“You’re sorry?” Your husband's expression split into a furious glower, and for the first time that night, you felt truly sorry for the doorman. “And what are you apologizing for? I better like the answer.”

Before the man could speak, you placed yourself between them. “He was just doing his job, love. No need to get all fussy. Why don’t you walk me home and we can talk more? I’ve missed you.”

Crocodile’s expression softened when you grabbed his arm and leaned into his side. With his flesh hand, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you flush against him. Before you left, Crocodile reached around you and into his breast pocket. When he removed his hand, there was a wad of beri in it, a fatter stack than usual. He tossed it at the doorman’s feet.

“Forget what you saw here.” Crocodile narrowed his eyes, his hook glinting in the dull lamplight. “Or I’ll be seeing you again. Privately.”

“Don’t flirt with the poor man, he looks like he’s about to wet himself.”

Crocodile merely grumbled — affectionately, you knew that grumble anywhere — as he started in the direction of your shared home. “I don’t flirt and I don’t fuss, you know this, doll.”

“Bold of you to lie to my face when I’m still not sure if I’ve forgiven you yet.”

You had. It was hard to keep the grin off your face when Crocodile was warm against your side, the scent of him filling your nostrils until your head was fuzzy.

Oh, how you couldn’t wait to kiss him pliant in the comfort of your bed later tonight. For all of Crocodile’s power, you had him absolutely wrapped around your little finger.

[waddlehekk]

Can you talk a little more about how Goemon is intended to be mixed race? I read the manga but never picked up on this; was it lost to translation, or is it extremely subtle (or just a headcanon)? Also, do you have any idea why his race was changed in the Pilot film (if it was at all)?

Though it is never outright stated, there are clear details in Goemon's design that I believe are included to suggest he is mixed race, being part Asian since he is still the descendant of the original, Japanese, Ishikawa Goemon, and part something else, which I'm thinking is part White. The themes presented in the Lupin manga and in MP's other manga of racial freedom coincide with this too.

It's important to also understand the context of the themes that surround Goemon's character, being raised under strict Eastern culture, but despite being naïve towards Western culture, he does not reject it in the way his masters do and is even curious about it.

Before I begin, I'd like to make it clear that MP is not the most consistent when it comes to his designs, especially in the earlier manga where he is still working out what he wants of the characters. It doesn't help either that he had to rush to meet deadlines for the manga. With that being said though, I will be focusing on Goemon's consistent character traits that become more concrete in Shin Lupin.

An obvious detail to Manga Goemon's design is his cleft chin. This is usually drawn in more western-like characters (for instance, he draws Yankee from Bakumatsu Yankee with a cleft chin but not Okita), so it's really interesting how MP chooses to show it in Goemon. MP drew it more obvious as time went on, but it did exist since his first appearance.

Also, notice how Goemon's hair is not fully inked black as MP does with other characters. Generally, aside from artwork for promotion of the anime, anime ost album covers, and artwork made after the manga's completion, MP would color Goemon's hair as blonde-ish brown. I've seen people refer to it as possibly being ash blonde, or dirty blonde, but I'm not sure.

I'll post examples below. If you've seen them before, please read the rest of the post! I have a lot more to show.

It's a shame though that in some instances, publishers tried to hide this by recoloring MP's artwork, even if it wasn't meant tor the anime at all. Likely this was done to appeal to the larger amount of fans for the anime, and much of MP's later artwork after the manga's completion would alter other parts of Goemon's design to resemble it too, such as by changing his facial features and removing the pattern on his kimono. If you look closely below, you can see how the publishers weren't perfect at covering it up.

You may have seen how in my other post, with the artwork of the English Conversation book, or in a small amount of MP's other drawings, that Goemon's hair is instead colored as grey, silver, or not colored at all. I think MP tends to do this to save on color, and you can even see this in how his clothing is colored only white and grey.

That's also why though Fujiko appears blonde in the covers of that same book, she is also colored with grey hair in its pages inside of the book. Notice how the color of her dress changed too to save on color.

There's a similar case of Fujiko's hair originally being portrayed as blonde in the manga, but MP coloring it as brown or red in some artwork to match the anime. It didn't seem to be as much of an issue though considering how inconsistent Fujiko's design already was in the anime and early manga, and with how the changing hair color does not suggest as much about Fujiko as it does for Goemon and his race.

Goemon's manga design already does not resemble his anime design, so to make it even more different by having a different hair color would certainly bring more confusion from the anime audience. Goemon in the anime is strongly associated with being Japanese in comparison to the others, so it makes sense why his hair color is not a blonde-brown when MP draws for the anime.

Unlike fully blonde characters like Fujiko though, MP tends to draw Goemon's hair with many lines. I notice that when MP isn't rushing to draw Goemon, he draws certain areas of his hair having more lines condensed together and other areas having empty space.

(This is kind of hard to explain so I hope the drawing below makes it clear)

My own interpretation for why he draws his hair this way is to show areas with more denser lines being a darker brown, while the less dense areas show the lighter blonde parts of his hair.

It's worth noting Jigen's hair gets drawn with lines too, but there are more lines to show how much darker it is, and it also lacks any lighter areas. Perhaps Jigen's hair is still meant to be black, with the lines added to show detail in the strands of his straight hair, but what if it was meant to show color in his hair too?

Part 3, the Lupin anime with character designs that resemble Shin Lupin's the most, makes the decision to color Jigen's hair dark brown to show this, despite it always having been depicted as black in the anime.

But back to Goemon, I've seen a few people believe that maybe his hair is dyed/bleached. I can understand this notion, given that when he is first introduced he is dating Fujiko who seems more knowledgeable in this, and we do know that Goemon is an open-minded person when it comes to new things despite his old-fashioned upbringing. I disagree though, in part because some of the more detailed color drawings of him give me the impression it is natural. His sideburns also appear to have color in some close-ups of them.

There is something that he cannot change, however, and that is his eye color. It also happens to share the same color as his hair, more proof that his hair color is natural.

If you look at this magazine cover, you can see everyone's eyes colored in as black, but MP specifically did not do that for Goemon. Perhaps he wanted this detail about Goemon to stand out to readers.

There are many smaller details too, like his fluffy hair that curls at the ends, and his body hair.

And I can't forget the sideburns either. Though having sideburns obviously isn't a genetic trait, it's more western-like design that MP uses. The point of Goemon having sideburns may be to help you picture a more western person from him.

Compare all this to Anime Goemon, who has straight black hair and smaller eyes with black pupils, no sideburns, no body hair, and a regular chin. There is a very different intention between what the 2 characters are attempting to portray, and it's obvious when you look at them side to side. These different intentions are the reason why the anime is so stubborn when it comes to incorporating parts of Manga Goemon's design.

You may be wondering, is it unusual that Monkey Punch would make a character like this?

Not at all!

We know for sure Lupin is mixed too.

"I don't need a passport because the whole Earth is my country!!"

"Everywhere on this Earth is my home, even the middle of the ocean."

The character Inspector John Starmow, who admits to Fujiko that his childhood memories are filled with him being bullied by both other children and adults because he has Indian blood in him.

MP's other work, "Western Samurai"

And of course, MP's "Bakumatsu Yankee"

Looking at the designs of the two friends, it almost seems like Goemon is a hybrid of the two that each represent the East and the West. Okita's fully inked in hair and Yankee's hair with hardly any lines, while Goemon has hair drawn with many lines. Also, Goemon's face resembles Okita's, but he has a chin like Yankee. A little off-topic but I've always thought that Goemon's personality was a mesh between the two: Okita's cheerful attitude and Yankee's calm demeanor.

Now onto the rest of your question, why was this not carried into the Pilot?

If you haven't read my old post, please do read it as it explains my theory on why Manga Goemon was not adapted to the anime, and how Anime Goemon was created: https://www.tumblr.com/waddlehekk/711176903837483008/a-theory-on-the-creation-of-anime-goemon-and-why?source=share

Essentially though, the Pilot and Part 1 very clearly wanted a fully Japanese character out of Goemon to clash with the rest of the cast who are very American.

In the Pilot, Goemon is portrayed with a much darker skin tone rather than being very pale like he is in the Part 1 and nearly every portrayal onwards. Additionally, Mystery of Mamo pushes against Part 1's famously established design, bringing back Goemon's original skin tone and also changing the color of his hair to a dark brown.

At first I thought this dark color was chosen so that the artists could show lighting in Goemon's hair and give it detail, and that therefore it was still meant to be black, but even looking closer his eyebrows were colored too. Fujiko, the only other member of the gang that doesn't have black hair in this movie, is also the only other one to have colored eyebrows.

I read a post recently saying that he's mixed because of this, but to be honest, I disagree. There are many people in Japan with the standards that being very fair-skinned and having black hair is what makes you beautiful, but that doesn't mean all Japanese people are just born like this, and some even try to hide it. If anything, I think the reason why Goemon is depicted like this to go against these beauty standards and show that Goemon is still just as much a good representation of a Japanese samurai. The teams still wanted to depict a message about racial freedom in Goemon, and I think this is in part why the Pilot and Mamo understand the tone of the manga much better than other adaptations.

On a final note, I'd like to add that if Manga Goemon is supposedly mixed, and these themes do exist throughout MP's manga, why not then see characters like Jigen, Fujiko, and Zenigata as being just as racially ambiguous? For all we know, Lupin and Goemon could be a combination of more than what I've said here. I'd love to hear any headcanons.

[dudefrommywesterns]

today is a bad art day

[wanderinginksplot]

If you're still taking requests, then the reader having a bad hair day and either Dogma or Tup helping them because they know how to do hair?

I've been meaning to write a hair fic for a while, but this really intrigued me! The idea of having Dogma of all people helping reader? Amazing! Here's where we ended up:

Dogma/curly-haired gn!reader (could be platonic or very early in a relationship)

Word Count: a little over 2,000

Warnings: cranky and impatient reader, hesitant Dogma

---

Fic Request: Bad Hair Day Help from Dogma

You stomped down a hallway on the Resolute, trying to ignore the startled looks you were getting from passing troopers. Your hair skimmed the edges of regulation-accepted styles, curling to a point just below your shoulders.

Normally, you kept it in a tight bun, readily complying with appearance and uniform regulations, but today was different. Despite the fact that you had put your hair into a bun every day for the past year of your life, it wasn’t cooperating today. You had tried a dozen times to get it right, but over and over, something would go wrong. Sections would pull, you would miss a strand, the bun itself would be lopsided… It was frustrating beyond belief!

You could feel your loose locks floating around you like an angry cloud as you strode quickly down the corridor, finger-combed into a wild mass of curls and waves.

You had never been good at hiding your feelings, and your displeasure must have been clear on your face. Troopers steered clear of you and even the officers found something to do in the opposite direction as you approached. You had a bit of a reputation as a hardass… when people were being polite. A less pleasant description you had overheard in the past was ‘incredible pain in the ass’. You couldn’t fault them too strongly - you had high standards and you weren’t shy about making sure they were met.

The fact that it was you breaking those standards now made you even more irritated.

“Excuse me,” a firm voice called, attracting your attention. A single glance to the side told you exactly who was speaking: Dogma’s facial tattoo of an inverted triangle was difficult to miss.

“Yes, trooper?” you asked crisply. You tried to look professional and haughty, but that was difficult, considering that you and your wild hair had to look up at Dogma.

Dogma’s eyes traveled sideways to glance at a particularly wicked-looking tangle before snapping back to your eyes. “Your hair is outside of regulation standards, ma’am. It needs to be up off of your neck, according to Standard 67, Subsection B of the Uniform Regulations.”

Your lip curled before you could fight back the unpleasant expression, but Dogma stood firm. He was right and you knew he was right. As much as you didn’t want to continue trying to fix the galactic punishment that was your bad hair day, you had to. For the karking military.

Fixing your gaze on the control panel behind Dogma to avoid making overly contentious eye contact, you worked your hair into the neatest bun you could. It didn’t work and you could feel that it hadn’t, but you held your hands out to either side.

“Better?” you asked, voice bitter and sarcastic even to your own ears.

“Uh…” Dogma started, staring at the top of your head with something like concern on his face.

“I know, I know,” you grumbled, starting over. “I can’t get it to cooperate today. How about this?”

“There are… loops… all over your head,” Dogma told you, drawing a loop with his finger as if trying to illustrate the way your hair was refusing to lie flat against your scalp.

“I know, Dogma!” you snapped, then immediately felt bad. Dogma was a stickler for policy, something that made your job easier every day. It would be hypocritical of you to get cranky when he used that quirk against you instead of for you. With a weary sigh, you repeated, “I know. WIthout a mirror or a comb or a miracle, this is the best I can do.”

Dogma didn’t move. The poor trooper was standing as still as he could, staring at your head.

“This is just going to have to be good enough for right now, Dogma,” you told him, keeping your voice as patient as you were able. “I can’t deal with it any more right now, not without ripping it out by the roots.”

“I could help you?”

The unexpected offer was made in a tone so quiet that you hardly believed you had heard him at first. “You want to help me with my hair?”

Dogma’s cheeks darkened. “I help Tup with his sometimes. It’s always out of regulation, too.”

You didn’t actually know which was stranger - that he was willing to help you fix your wayward hair, or that you were considering taking him up on the offer. After all, you hadn’t been able to do a thing with it. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to get some outside assistance?

“Uh… If you think you can help me get it under control… Sure, why not?”

Dogma looked as nervous as you felt, but he gave a firm nod and gestured to a nearby workspace open to officers. “Do you want to go in there so that no one- Uh, I figure you probably won’t want an audience.”

You wanted to think he was too innocent to know how suggestive that had sounded, but the reddish tinge under his skin - along with the profound look of regret and horror - told you that Dogma had heard it the moment he said it out loud.

“Yeah, good idea,” you agreed simply rather than reprimand him. You knew he hadn’t meant anything by it. There was no need to be too hard on him. Instead, you opened the door and gestured for him to walk in ahead of you.

If Dogma tried to stand any straighter, he was going to pull something important. In hopes of reminding him what you were there to accomplish, you pulled the band from your hair and let it tumble down around your shoulders once more. “What do you need me to do?”

“S-sit down,” Dogma told you hesitantly. “This chair here.”

You sat in the chair he had pointed out, waiting for him to do whatever he intended to fix your stubborn hair. Instead, a sharp pain lanced through your scalp and you hissed in response.

“I’m sorry!” Dogma apologized immediately. “I got caught in a tangle.”

“It’s fine,” you told him easily. With hair like yours, you were hardly surprised by the tug of a tangle. The next three times, you tried to be equally patient, but you lost your silent temper with yet another pull.

“Can you do this, Dogma?” you asked, striving for a calm tone and achieving one of dangerous irritation.

Dogma sighed. “Maybe not. You’re just so- Maybe not. Sorry for wasting your time.”

“Wait, trooper,” you ordered, and he instantly froze. “I’m just so what?”

“Competent,” Dogma revealed quietly. “You’re good at everything you do. I can do this, but I’m so afraid of making a mistake around you… I probably can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

You shrugged off your outer uniform jacket - the only thing displaying your rank. In an unadorned shirt with your hair down, you didn’t feel very professional. You were willing to bet you didn’t look like it, either.

“Do you want to know the interesting part about competence, Dogma?” you asked, allowing yourself to slip into a far more comfortable and conversational tone than you had used with him in the past. He nodded and you shrugged. “To be competent, you need to be willing to look stupid. Everyone is terrible at something when they first start doing it. The key is to do it anyway. You already know how to do this from working with Tup. You just have to get over the fear of doing what you already know to do here.”

Dogma nodded, coming back over to stand behind you. The GAR didn’t worry too much about providing mirrors for their officers, but you were able to watch his reflection in a durasteel counter that had been shined to a high polish. The expression on his face was less ‘soldier afraid to piss off a superior officer’ and more ‘frightened child’. Your heart stuttered, sieged with guilt about having pushed him, and you opened your mouth to dismiss him.

Before you could say anything, Dogma lifted the mass of your hair in his hands, combing through the bottom of the strands with his fingers and working his way up. For someone who had been so uncertain only moments before, Dogma’s motions were sure and smooth now.

Soon, he was raking his fingers through your hair without meeting a single tangle, callused fingers occasionally brushing your scalp. When he had worked the strands into a loose mass of deconstructed curls - by this point, roughly twice the size of your head - Dogma started to talk.

“Your hair is a lot like ours,” he said softly. “If you want to keep the curls looking the way they should, you wouldn’t want to comb them, but since you have to put it up, I figured it wouldn’t matter very much anyway.”

“It doesn’t,” you agreed.

“You have to get the tangles out before you can do anything with it,” Dogma continued, beginning to twist the strands together behind your head.

After a moment of trying to visualize what the motions would look like from the perspective of someone standing behind you, you asked, “Are you braiding my hair?”

“It’s a regulation-approved hairstyle,” Dogma said cautiously. “But I don’t have to if you would rather I do something else.”

“No, a braid is fine,” you assured him. “I’m just surprised you can do a braid. A lot of beings can’t, even the ones belonging to species with hair.”

Dogma chuckled at that and you grinned as you realized that he had finally gotten more comfortable with you. “After you’re timed braiding black cord in a zero-light scenario, hair isn’t much of a challenge.”

“I imagine that’s true,” you murmured. “All the same, I really appreciate this. Sometimes, I just get so frustrated with it.”

“Why do you think I keep my hair short?”

You snorted. “Because long hair is technically against regulations?”

“Appearance regulations aren’t the same as real regulations,” Dogma said, and you thought about the bold tattoo on his face. “But I grew up with Tup. Watching him struggle with Fett hair was enough to make me keep mine short.”

“That’s fair,” you agreed, passing the tie over your shoulder when he gestured for it. Dogma neatly tied off the braid and tapped you on the shoulder to signal that you were done.

You stood up and turned to face him. “Thank you, Dogma.”

Troopers didn’t blush often, as a general rule. They were soldiers and had been trained to be unflappable. Still, Dogma’s naturally tanned skin tone took on additional redness as he said, “You’re welcome.”

Something tickled at the back of your mind and you chased it with everything you had. Your instincts as an officer hadn’t let you down yet, and there was something there that you should notice…

You caught it. “Wait, if appearance regulations aren’t real regulations, why did you make such a big deal about my hair being down?”

Guilt immediately crossed Dogma’s face and you made a mental note to pay sabacc with him if you ever got the chance. “I’m sorry. That was hypocritical of me, but… I never had the chance to speak with you before. I admire you and the work you do around the Resolute. I couldn’t help but try to talk to you.”

His shoulders straightened and he looked you in the eye with the impassive expression of a soldier. “I understand if you would like to pursue disciplinary action.”

You frowned. “How about this? You’ll make amends by helping with my next project. I’ve got some regulations-focused work coming up soon and I could use someone with an encyclopedic knowledge of the regs to help it go faster.”

Dogma’s face changed so quickly that you were tempted to laugh, going from stoic to hopeful in half a moment. “You want me to work with you?”

“You want to be competent, right?” you nodded a second after he did. “Then you have to start somewhere. I’m offering you a chance to get started. Do you accept?”

“Yes,” Dogma said, nodding again. A small smile lit his eyes with excitement and soft happiness. “Thank you, and I look forward to working with you.”

---

A/N - a few notes really fast! I think Dogma is one of the most competent troopers we see in TCW, but he also seems like the type to have confidence issues. In this scenario, I could see reader using their future work together to bolster his self-confidence more than anything else.

While I am usually willing to write follow-ups or additional chapters for most of my one-shots, I want to go ahead and say that I can't for this one. For several reasons, the power imbalance in a relationship between a supervisor and someone as rule-following as Dogma makes me uncomfortable. Really wrote myself into a corner on this one! For this to be a viable relationship, it would have to happen after the war/after Dogma is discharged from the GAR (because that's definitely what happened), or after a really long slow-burn mentorship-to-friendship-to-crush-to-relationship. Both of those would require a lot more time than I currently have to write. In the unlikely chance anyone wanted a sequel, I apologize.

Thanks for reading! Find more works in my masterlist or request a fic of your own!

[tum-bakery]

Could we possibly get a pregnant Kaito? I know he doesn’t seem like the type, but imagining him with a belly like that sounds amazing

OKAY SO- I promise I will draw this, but the price that you, my lovely followers are going to have to pay is enduring some of my most shameful brain vomit.

So there's this old post of mine- that expresses how I low key promised myself NOT to bring this up... but...

Please imagine the loudest sigh you've ever heard, that was me just now.

I'm gonna have to bring up... the dreaded... Omegaverse...

BEFORE I BEGIN: As much as the omegaverse is a guilty pleasure of mine, I *really* hate most of it. There's so much non-con and dub-con in the genre, the wolf lingo makes me GAG, and the political commentary is confusing at best and fetishized at worst... but... I'm deeply intrigued by the biological and a handful of the sociological implications of the secondary genders... I hate it so much...

I'm suffering.

ANYWAYS!!!!

The one time my brain can actually rationalize pregnant Momota is in an omegaverse setting, because he seems like the PERFECT example of an Alpha presenting Omega. On the outside he's physically muscular, of taller stature, has notable facial hair and generally reads like the typical boisterous Alpha, but personality wise he's got a lot of nurturing tenancies, going out of his way to do things to take care of the others. I'm not convinced he wouldn't lean into the fact he seems like an Alpha to gather himself a little found family to nurture, and care for.

and... since I'm not pulling a single punch with this post...

OUMOTA- Ouma is the opposite of Momota, presenting like a tiny omega who's a bit bratty, but deep down being a natural born leader and having the more dominant tenancies of an Alpha. Both of them hide their secondary genders like their lives depend on it.

If they ever got together, it really seems like they're never gonna have kids, so everyone is BAFFLED when they announce that their starting a family. Momota is of course, ECSTATIC.

Momota really wants a family, probably a big one too ngl, and Ouma while a bit more hesitant, probably caves because he's not the one carrying.

I've made myself chuckle more than once thinking of them announcing that they're starting a family, and someone leaning in and saying: "I'm surprised you got Ouma to agree to this, he seems like he'd HATE even the IDEA of being pregnant..." and Momota realizing he's kept his dynamic SO hidden that no one suspects and thing, and he has to awkwardly say "oh haha right about that..."

Momota doesn't get too big, but he still both whines about it, and is completely obsessed with his belly. He cries the day that his abs finally made way for baby bump (Ouma laughs his ass off while comforting his sobbing mate.) He's super disappointed that he can't paint the babies room like he wanted to because his balance is too far off too. Momota goes a bit... crazy with his nesting, and the whole house becomes his comfy zone, and Ouma cannot escape cuddles whenever he gets home.

Sometimes though... Momota gets REALLY self conscious about how "unmanly" he feels to be having a baby, not to mention that because of how he looks people sometimes give him strange looks, and it DOES get to him. He tries to keep it to himself thinking Ouma will tease him about it. One day though Ouma finds out, and his response is "Stop worrying stupid head, they can judge you when they've had to have a kid! Manliness is relative." It's cute and fluffy and I cannot resist it.

and very lastly: Momota wants maternity photos SO. BAD. He forces Ouma to take couples photos with him, because his pregnancy is gonna be documented damnit!

~~They have like... three kids.~~

[samanthadalton]

Hey there! I have to say I love your writing style. ♥️☺️☺️ Can I request for a cute PoppyxMC fic where Poppy has a sketchbook full of MC's different facial expressions? I've always imagined Poppy being artsy haha.

I seriously loved this idea anon thank you so much for your kind words and I hope I did it justice ❤️

Secret notebook 

pairings: poppy x bea 

taglist: @cloud9in (i just realised i don’t really have an official taglist so maybe i should fix that) 

word count: 1k 

Your curiosity reaches an all time peak when you realise that Poppy carries a small pink notebook in her bag and has it on her person at all times. She would never let you see the contents of her secret notebook but whenever you would hang out together doing your own thing, you would see Poppy hunched over on your desk scribbling into the book. So naturally, you made it your life’s mission to find out what Poppy’s hiding. 

After many failed attempts of you trying to sneak a glance at her book or going through her drawers trying to find the damned thing you almost altogether gave up on your goal until one day when Poppy texted you to meet her in her room. After a few heavy make out sessions with the strawberry blonde, you hold her body close to you, her petite frame fitting perfectly into yours. You gently stroke her hair while she draws lazy shapes across your stomach, but you abruptly stop when something pink on her desk suddenly grabs your attention. 

“Hughes, why did you stop?” she whines as she pokes her finger into your side but you’re too busy internally celebrating when you realise Poppy unknowingly left her secret book on her desk. She pokes at your side again but you’re too transfixed on plotting a way to get to the book. She frowns when she sees your attention focused elsewhere and when she follows your gaze to her notebook on her desk, she freezes. You both share a brief conspiratorial look, and then simultaneously jump out of the bed and it's suddenly a race of who’s faster. You quickly reach over to the desk and grab the book, and triumphantly hold it over your head but Poppy’s expression looks determined as she tries to scratch, pull and drag your arms down in an attempt to get her book back. “Give it back to me Farmsville” she grunts as she tries to make a jump for the book but her short body puts her at a disadvantage as she unsuccessfully takes the book from you. What she lacks in the height department however, she definitely makes it up with tenacity and she never stops to snag her notebook. You stretch your arm up higher, amused at the strawberry blonde’s failed attempts. 

“It’s over Poppy, I finally have the book” you slightly push her back and begin to dance around the room, avoiding Poppy’s cries, “ah ah ah” you condescendingly wag your finger at Poppy, “come on, what are you hiding?” You gasp, “do you write love poems about me?” you wiggle your eyebrows at Poppy whose expression has shifted purely to anger, as she grits her teeth and stares daggers at you. 

“Give. Me. The. Book. Now.” she says, her voice low and with undisguised intimidation. You ponder for a second if you should give the book back because the vein throbbing on Poppy’s forehead looks like it’s about to burst any second but you also consider the idea that whatever she’s hiding must be huge if she’s going through great lengths to get it back. 

“Hmm no” and quickly flip open a page and you freeze. This definitely wasn’t what you were expecting. Your eyes soften as you look over at Poppy whose face is still red but more likely due to embarrassment than anger. “Pops, is this me?” you point your finger at the gorgeous sketch of a woman’s side profile and Poppy nervously chews on her bottom lip and gives her curt nod. You begin flipping through the rest of the sketchbook, astonished at the expert level drawings, all of them portraits or quick sketches of..you. Some of them you’re unsure as to when Poppy could’ve even had the time to draw but your heart begins to flutter at the fact that her big secret was just secretly drawing you. “Wait is this me sleeping?” you raise an eyebrow at Poppy as the colour drains from her face

“Can you give it back to me now” the before commanding tone replaced with a softer one as she apprehensively gazes at the floor, unable to meet your eyes. You look down at the book and then reluctantly hold it out for Poppy to take. 

“I’m sorry, I just really was curious.” Poppy stands still, her gaze still averted to the floor but she reaches out and takes the book, “you’re incredible at drawing, why didn’t you ever tell me you’re an artist?” 

“It’s just a stupid hobby, I can’t really do much with it can I?” she indifferently says as she shrugs her shoulders. 

“Are you kidding? I’m dating a freaking DaVinci and I didn’t even know about it.” You reach out and cup Poppy’s face with your hands, your thumbs softly brushing against her cheekbones, “I can finally use the phrase paint me like one of your french girls” you flourish your voice a little earning a soft giggle from Poppy. 

“So you don’t find it weird I have a bunch of drawings of you?” 

“Are you kidding me Pops? If anything I’m honoured that you think of me as your muse” 

Poppy lets out an airy laugh, “okay let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, you’re just the only thing worth drawing that’s all.” 

“Wellllllll….do you feel like drawing me now? We could find a way to make it a little..sexy” you whisper in the shell of her ear and Poppy lets out a little moan. 

“What were you thinking?” she raises an eyebrow at you, her eyes glistening with challenge. 

“Titanic” you step back and begin stripping off your clothes and Poppy watches with unreserved lust as her eyes look over every inch and crevice of your body. “So where do you want me?” Poppy laughs and tells you to lie down on the bed as she grabs a pencil from her pencil case, spinning on her desk chair to face you. 

“Perfect, now stay there until I’m done.” she teasingly raises an eyebrow at you, “if you stay still the entire time then I’ll give you a reward at the end.” She begins to sketch in her book, while you pose in her bed, content that you finally found what she was hiding.

[eolewyn1010]

This is my 666th tumblr post

That has nothing to do with anything, I just enjoyed the idea of ending my blog year on that number. So, because I don't give half a damn on what the numbers in my so-called tumblr year rewiew say, I'll just babble out my own thoughts a bit:

This was not an easy year. There's still Corona, always and everywhere. There were elections over here in Germany, and the results are kind of durchwachsen. There were troubles, and anger, and resignation, and unsolved crises... and yet, looking back on it, it wasn't a wasted year for me personally. The previous year felt like a bit of a stand-still. 2021 felt like things were in motion. Like, in spite of the situation, there was a lot of new stuff for me.

I tried out drawing, sewing, even a LARP, and I found that things I've never done before, or never done with much effort, can be really fun when I bother. That, even when I'm not initially good at them, I can get better by pointed self-criticism instead of just going "I suck". I don't suck. I work hard for getting somewhere, and it takes time, and I'm still on it. Drawing was a big thing for me this year; I've drawn 154 human figures altogether - only practice makes perfect. And there were so many things to repeat, eyes, facial features, musculature, hands, hair... (One of the reasons I didn't wanna post the tumblr year review; it doesn't reference my drawings or any of my own work at all.) And above all that, writing, ever again writing. I had to take a longer break, but right now, I'm in a mood for small stories - I'm gonna begin the new year by posting a few one-shots.

Besides that, university is going much better now. Still not ideal because plagues, but I'm getting forward. It's not treading on the spot anymore.

Nevermind that I feel much better and more at rest in my current home than in the one I left last autumn. Moving was hell, but I'm happier where I live now. My housemates now aren't nearly as much a strain on my nerves as the previous.

I also learned that gaslighting, especially emotional gaslighting with an emphasis on disregarding my feelings and perceptions, happens just as much in non-romantic relationships as in romantic ones. And that I don't enjoy trying to explain my thoughts and feelings to someone who thinks they know better anyway and just prefer to work with their own assumptions because they're friggin above all else and the judge of Everything There Is. I'm always striving to explain myself in detail because I'm no good in expressing myself clearly, but when I expect not to be listened to, and to be snapped at for uttering my perceptions, then I don't know why I should still bother. I just want that person to stop having expectations of me to still engage in very one-sided, unpleasant interaction. Need to put on my big-girl pants and either learn to ignore them or tell them to fuck off with their poor attitude.

Finally and most importantly: I made some great friends this year. I haven't had really good friends, those that I didn't feel like I constantly had to put in a high effort for or be on tip-toes about, in a long-ass time, and now there are a few people who will just... listen. And tell me of their lives. And be upfront about it when I've said something shitty because I'm dense as a brick that way. And be supportive when I'm scared. And talking to them is fun and I feel like it's fun for them to talk to me. So, I'm getting way emotional over this, but that was a really big thing for me in 2021, and perhaps the scariest and most rewarding part of that "trying out the unknown" matter. Oof. I'm still socially incompetent, but also, I kinda love a few more people than I did a year ago. And that really made the year worth it, in spite of all.

As for what's to come, let's hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. *puts on crash helmet and protective goggles, buckles up, grabs pickaxe and torch* 2022, come at me!

[justrandomselfships]

Little steps- my self insert Fic (S/I POV) with a bunch of silly illustrations! Oh did I mention that this involves Kaeya? Well he's the main focus here even though Lisa is mentioned shit ton of times! Might write something for her focus too someday.

I finished it ages ago but I was afraid to post it- I'm not anymore and also✨ it's my birthday ✨

~~

Ever since I joined the knights I decided to write in a diary, it helped me keep track of time. Lisa told me that it can help me in various ways, like for example remembering names of the other knights, or checking my personal progress. Now that I think about it, it was long since I checked my old entries. Nothing interesting happened today anyway so I might as well read some. I don't really remember anything that was going on when I started so I suppose I could refresh my memory.

Today Lisa wanted to introduce me to someone- she probably wanted to help me by looking for training partner for me, however I had to refuse. You probably remember why was that, I got scared of meeting someone new again. I couldn't get that mess on her shoulders when she has so much to do as it is! And there was no way I'd meet them alone it'd be too akward for both of us!

I remember the exact moment I tried to come up with an excuse for future me... It kinda made me giggle how stupid I am sometimes, but let's look at something else...

I've never felt as lonely as I do now, I don’t even know why. I don’t miss anyone nor I ever craved any interactions... But to make that feeling go away I thought about talking to Amber but when I left the house she was talking to Noelle and I got scared to approach them... Instead I decided to sketch something and stay inside for the rest of the day.

I immediately looked at my sketchbook, I don't even have to look inside, I was drawing what's outside my window like always. Maybe I'll find some better memory if I keep looking?

During my patrol I got a bit lost... It was scary... But I wasn't alone, an Adventurer found me... However he got lost too. It was a bit unlucky day since I picked the wrong maps, we also got attacked a few times by monsters. I kinda feel bad for him since he tried his best to cheer me up but I stayed silent. It should've been other way around a knight shouldn't le

Bennett! How could I forget his name when I was writing this? He was such a sweetheart I obviously had to mess it up and make him feel uncomfortable... But I did make up for it! Maybe I'll finally read something positive? I somehow can't remember how exactly that went... Or if I was daydreaming about apologizing?

I decided to bake something for Bennett as thank you and apology for acting so cold towards him. But I had no idea on how to find him... Or what to say... So after thinking for few minutes I decided to talk to Katherine and ask her to give it to him. After "talking" to her I locked myself in my room out of embarrassment, I messed up again. I just said "Bennett" placed my pastries and left. Now I probably won't be able to face her for at LEAST two months.

I cringe at the memory... Gosh now this will keep me up at night for sure... I finally forgot about it and now it'll haunt me.

Wait a second... Did I really not made any progress at all!? I was trying so hard to socialize with others and get out more but I seem to still not be able to do it right. No, it's impossible. I'm good friends with Lisa! So I definitely made any progress... Or is she just so easy to talk to? Time to take a final look at something recent for a change...

Capitan Kaeya Alberich wanted to talk to me outside work... It might not sound like a big deal but somehow I just froze... I wasn't able to respond properly and he probably guessed what I was going to say, not that he ever can't do that... I might be too predictable. Either way I feel bad, my behavior was really disrespectful and I knew better than that to just ignore someone like him. I still have much to learn and I'll need to properly apologize for staying silent.

I only ever failed... There is no mistaking it. Great way to note down progress huh? Too bad there is none.

Think, what do I need to do to finally do better? I am the problem for sure but what do I really need to change? Maybe I should just start observing how others act... After all I never bothered to do that. It might help in one way or another...

Obviously there's only one place where there is a lot of people and I won't look like a total creep if I'll just listen in the conversations and look at random people... It's no other than the tavern. I'm scared to go there alone... But I don't have to!

Lisa would be willing to go right?... Then again I rely on her a bit too much and going out like this could be an opportunity to break the ice with someone else...

Jean is always busy, Amber will be way too distracting and we might end up somewhere else, Eula is too scary, Venti... I don't even know why I'm considering him.

Maybe that offer from capitan Kaeya still stands? It's from bearly 2 weeks ago so maybe if I get lucky and he happens to still be interested, I can actually go...

What am I even thinking!? I didn't even apologize for the last time... But being around so many drunk people is terrifying... However I can't bet on the fact that he won't drink too much... On the other hand he seems to handle people and I'll definitely learn something.

Screw it. It might be scary but I need to do it. Tomorrow I'll ask him! That's for sure! He's the most respectable and trustworthy person who isn't always busy and will not distract me.

~⏳

I'm scared to do it but I have to! I need to... Did I really say that I'm gonna do it today? Or should I just pretend that I never thought of it. He's probably busy today. Yup definitely that no need to feel stressed.

I haven't seen him back at the headquarters nor did I see him around town when I was coming back from my patrol- that's a good sign. It's still pretty early but I don't think that I'll see him today... What a relief!

Before I left the headquarters after finishing some paperwork I hear a voice that belongs to a beautiful librarian I am lucky to be able to call a friend.

"Hey there cutie, are you okay?"

"Just a little bit nervous that's all, nothing new haha"

"Do you need me to pass a message again?"

"No need! It's something I need to say myself..."

"I see..."

"But if you happen to see capitan Kaeya it would be nice if you could tell him that I was looking for him" out of habit I grab my hair and begin to play with it. Lisa's warm soothing voice blessed my ears as she said "No worries darling, I'll let him know" before she left and giggled to herself...

Wait... Oh no.

Why did I say anything!? Is she that magical that I can't say anything but what's on my mind.

If she happens to meet him my request will be unavoidable! Even if I tried thinking of something else Kaeya will know that I'm lying. I can't avoid him either... Can't waste his precious time...

How do I even ask him!? Do I need to change from my work clothes before I go? What should I do...

I didn't realize that I started walking in circles before someone approached me.

"Heather?"

I turn around and see the man I was thinking about all day. Dammit... I have to say it. I can't think of an excuse and staying silent is now unacceptable.

"Oh-uhm... Greetings Capitan Kaeya"

"Lisa informed me that you were looking for me"

"Oh right!... That... Haha..."

"I don't want to rush you, however I do have some business to attend to"

"I'm so sorry! I mean- since you're busy then my silly request is irrelevant"

"Come now, I believe that I should be the judge of that" his smug look made it ever so slightly more challenging to say anything.

"I just... Ugh..." I took a deep breath "Look as you know I was trying to loosen up recently and well I realized that I wasn't making any progress at all. So I remembered that one time you asked me to go to the tavern with you and I refused... I mean ignored you, which I am VERY sorry about but now I think that it was a mistake and today I wanted to ask you to accompany me but since you're busy let's just forget about everything" I felt relieved getting that off my chest.

"I don't think that will do, in fact I was heading towards the tavern so if you really want to I suppose you can join me" Oh right... I forgot about him gathering some information there from time to time. So it might work after all! He won't pay too much attention to me and I could investigate without tons of distractions.

"Let's get going then capitan" I say before he smiles softly in response "Wait do you want to get going now or-"

"Yes" he cut me off, which was fair and I'm glad he did it before I said something dumb.

We're almost there. Before we get closer I suddenly stop.

"That reminds me!" I realized I spoke out loud, as he looked at my direction my confidence dropped dead "I've never actually tried any alcohol so would you be so kind to recommend something for me? I figured that since I'm already getting out of my comfort zone might as well try something new" I said under my breath but he definitely understood what I meant judging by his facial expression and well... response.

"Absolutely" my heart skipped a beat. I desperately tried to start a conversation topic... But choosing alcohol might be something I'll regret...

Kaeya started listing few drinks I could enjoy his words were poetic as he described the beverages, however the names of the drinks went over my head. It wasn't that bad but I just felt stupid over how clueless I was. He definitely knew what he was talking about and I'm more than interested in hearing more. The more he talks the less likely I am to say something I'll regret.

"Obviously since I don't know how much you can handle I won't be forcing you to try too much too soon" he paused "Your father probably wouldn't be happy either if you returned drunk" he said teasingly. It invited me to respond less seriously.

"Oh no! This means that we'll have to do it again, how awful"

"We didn't enter yet so you can feel free to leave now before you regret spending time with me of all people" his voice was now suddenly much more hostile... Did I mess it up!?

He laughed softly "I'm sorry did I go too far? While I don't want to force you to do anything, I won't lie... I'm a bit curious to learn something new about you tonight"

We were still outside standing right in front of the entrance to the tavern if not for chatting we could hear from the inside there would be total silence.

"I'm sorry for being quiet again! It's just that you caught me off guard haha" I look away "There isn't much to know about me so I feel like I'll only disappoint you"

"I'm not so sure about that part"

"Wait... Did my father tell you anything about me!?"

"Look let's just get inside, We'll discuss it later"

Nervously I followed him yet again. The atmosphere was warm and I could see different kinds of people all over the place. We sit down.

"So did he tell you anything?" I ask immediately.

"Relax, he didn't" he seemed amused by my desperation to know. It's understandable... And I'm probably overreacting anyway. I collect my thoughts "I'm sorry"

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm just making this into some big deal for no reason. Maybe the reason is the huge amount of respect I have for you that makes me freak out"

"I see, well I don't see the reason to be so formal now. We aren't working after all" his soft smile was enough for me to calm down.

"Thank you" Maybe it was all I needed to hear, after that everything went smoothly.

I start feeling proud of myself... Maybe I can change after all? Either way it only shows that I have to write it down! And once I was back home I did just that.

Today I had enough courage to take a step in right direction! I went to a tavern with capitan Kaeya. It was fun and for the first time in years I wasn't that scared. It wasn't totally perfect but it was definitely worth it.

[somewhat-crazy]

I would like to ask for a mash-up.

What I look like:

I have light-brown hair, that go about five inches over my chest, a bang and heaven-blue eyes.

Other facial features:

Thinn, frameless glasses, kept in the colors of black and white.

Body size:

As much as I hate to admit it, I am what people might call "fluffy".

Gender:

Female

Age:

21 years old. (Almost.)

Sexuality:

Straight with a thing for intelligence.

Personality type:

INFJ-T

Favorite music:

Classical music.

Favorite color/contrast:

White and blue.

Favorite animals:

My top three:

1. Spiders

2. Praying mantis

3. Dragonflies

Hobbys:

1. Drawing

2. Writing

3. Crafting

4. Occasionally sewing

5. Gardening

6. Singing

7. Acting

8. Studying

9. Hiking/Camping

10. Taking care of animals/Do researnch on animals in order to learn more about them

Things I like:

* Spiders/Bugs (No. Spiders are not bugs.), Peace and quiet, Intelligent people, Languages, Things being in order and going according to plan, Animals in general, The forest, Explaining things, that are exciting to me, science like physics, chemistry and biology, psychology, sociology, anatomy, music,

Things I dislike:

Rude people, loud people, dumb people, stress and fighting, techno music and any kind of rap music, my pencil order being messed up, chaos, Boredom

Things I hate with a burning passion:

Demons, anything hell-related, demons, My work being messed up, demons, being ripped out of my train of thought, demons, Misplacing my glasses, demons, being late, demons, people being late, demons, people, who torture animals, especially spiders, demons, fould soul-scents, demons, People who demand me to instantly open up to them, did I already mention that I hate demons with a burning passion ???

Backstory:

I had a rough and rather traumatizing childhood, which caused 14 years of full-blown panic attacks.

Luckily I got out of them by now, even if there are still a few triggers, where I have to be careful

.

Strengths:

1. I have a good eye for the minimal details.

2. I can focus on a task on hand for hours.

3. I am able to be independent.

4. I am intelligent/Creative.

5. I am determined to get something, if I want it.

6. I have no tendencies to get physically harmful and I have no tendency to get angry, since doing that, and also the emotion in itself is a waste of time and energy, that could be used to be productive.

7. I am always thirty for knowledge and I am a quick learner.

Flaws:

1. I take far too much time to open up.

2. I am often cold and distant.

3. I am a perfectionist

4. I am very mistrusting or shy.

5. I tend to not care for my "friendships" or about people in general, because I see people's flaws apon the first look or at least tend to do so.

6. I tend to take some things too personal or be overly sensitive sometimes.

7. I have insanely high expectations towards others and I build up my walls so high, that barely anyone can claim over them.

Personality:

How others describe me :

1. Polite.

2. Overly quiet.

3. Slow to anger.

4. Intelligent/Smartass/Nerd/Geek.

5. Patient.

6: Sweet.

7. Caring.

8. Different from the rest.

How I see myself:

1. You may laugh or say, that I am crazy, but due to something the bible calls "gift of telling the spirits apart" (Yes, I am a christian and I love it.) and my natural empathic, observing nature of an INFJ-personality type, I am able to often know things about people that I am not supposed to know and reading people is the most easiest thing for me to do. I may not necessarily say, that I have feelings of myself, but I am able to copy the feelings and expressions of others quite well.

For those, who know black butler, I know very well, what it means, if Sebastian is taling about the scent of souls, since I am capable of smelling it too.

2. I am a mix of the empath-INFJ and the sigma-INFJ.

Anger me and I may become a so called "dark empath", if you keep it up long enough.

(I've made one of my bullies cry her eyes out by just using a few simple words.)

3. I like to keep to myself and have plenty of alone-time, due to me being naturally introverted and quite preserved.

4. I am very analytical and tend to analyze just about everything that comes in front of my nose or in my sight. That is also caused by trust issues and a few traumatizing events in my past.

5. If a person earns the right of being let inside by me/the right to call themselves my friend, I tend to become warmer step by step/become rather caring and protective of that person.

That person gets my full attention and I dedicate a lot of time to them.

If they should hurt me though, I doorslam them and they never will get close to me again.

Since those things, I've written down here are very personal and usually very private information about myself, I have allowed myself to stay anonymous to grand myself a little bit to safety.

Thank you in advance for writing this.

Goodbye.

okay but can i just say that you sound really cool 🥺 also rq are closed rn but i really wanted to write this, so i did. since you gave me a lot of info, i was able to write this a bit longer ^^ at first i really thought you matched with EJ until i got to the demon part,,, then it was like oh well we can find someone else haha. also (ik this is a super long note), but you're the only person i've interacted thus far on my blog that's a christian, so hey! im not baptized or anything, but i try to keep my blog family and christian-friendly :3 since i wasn't sure what denomination you're from, i didn't talk about religion too much

I match you with: Helen / The Bloody Painter

(under the cut bc its pretty long)

im honestly really really intimidated by the two of you

you're both very private/reserved people, so most of the time you two spend time in more quiet and calm places

some people might not even know that you two were dating until you said it explicitly because you just never mentioned it before

he absolutely loves how much he understands you because of how similar the two of you are

it took quite a while for the two of you to warm up to each other, but once you did, it was pretty smooth sailing

he doesn't mind your religion whatsoever; he was raised Catholic and is loosely Christian, although isn't baptized and doesn't go to church much

he absolutely loves doing any sort of work with you; you guys work well together and get a lot done in short periods of time

honestly just finds you fascinating. the way you carry yourself, your preferences and hobbies, your creativity and diligence; every single day he learns something new about you, and he loves it

you two learn a lot together; many long nights of reading or pouring over new information, analyzing data and researching things

although he might never say it out loud, he actually thinks that you're really cute; he loves your eyes and gets lost in them a lot. if you ever call yourself "fluffy", get ready for a 20-minute lecture about how you're beautiful and perfect the way you are and that's that

loooves drawing with you and gets you a lot of art-related gifts (although he doesn't mind doing any of your other hobbies with you ^^)

he also likes insects/bugs and spiders, and is happy that finally he found someone else who isn't grossed out by them he actually has a pet tarantula named Ekii 👀 so hopefully you like tarantulas haha

won't ever force you to open up about things, especially if it's about your past or anything triggering for you

you'll probably have to get used to hanging out with Puppeteer a lot as well-- I promise, he sort of gets better the more you get to know him (emphasis on 'sort of')

he draws you a lot and would be really touched (although he wouldn't say so) if you did the same to him

he's really interested in your empath abilities and how that works. asks a lot of clarifying questions and soaks all of the new information up

since Helen is also a bit of a perfectionist, he understands and tries to get you to be a bit easier on yourself will literally force you to stop working and go take a walk if he needs to

speaking of which-- nature walks, hikes, camping, he loves the forest too!!

although he listens to a lot of different styles, he's glad that at least once person enjoys classical music as well; he likes turning it on quietly in the background while he works :3

to make a long story short; he absolutely loves and adores you, especially since he can understand you so well although he's not an empath, he understands your emotions very well and would do anything for you ^^ <3

[one-boring-person]

You Tell Us.

David(The Lost Boys) x Reader

Context: (Y/n) is a vampire hunter who lives in Santa Carla, alongside the vampires already residing there, with her sister. One night, she comes home to find the boys, minus one, worked up about something, convinced that she is the cause of what has happened.

Warnings: Blood, fatal injuries.

The hot air around me is suffocating as I trek up the dusty trail to my house, wishing now that I'd ridden my motorbike into Santa Carla, rather than walking in like I'd thought I was up to, my leather jacket not doing anything to help my case. Sighing reluctantly, I go to take it off, before thinking better of it when I realise I can’t be bothered to carry it, pushing the sleeves up my arms instead, flicking my sweaty hair from my face as I walk, kicking a stone along the darkened path. Above me, the sky has long since faded into darkness, the moon barely visible through the clouds littering the black expanse, the sight of it a stark reminder of the twisting feeling in my gut.

Something is wrong.

The sensation has plagued me for hours now, especially when I noticed the biker gang hadn’t turned up at the Boardwalk, the lack of their usual mischievous antics barely missed by anyone other than me, the vampires’ absence worrying me to no end. As soon as I'd realised they weren't around, I left to go home, worried for the safety of my sister still residing in my house (I say "my house" but really it's just an empty house we moved into when we first arrived here), blissfully unaware of the horrors concealed in the town. Of course, it took me a while to get out of Santa Carla, what with the Frog brothers and their new friend, Sam Emerson, pestering me for more information and help regarding the “nightstalker situation” as they call it, only letting me go when I gave them some more misleading advice for them to follow up on, trying my best not to draw attention to the vampires I know to inhabit the small town.

Normally, I would’ve taken them out by now, but the deal I made with them keeps me from doing so, so I suck it up and give them the same amount of respect and friendliness they pay me, which isn’t too much, in all honesty, but that suits me fine. The arrangement stated that I wouldn’t kill any of them, only taking out any other vampires and hunters that come into their territory, if they promised only to target the more criminal side of the public, leaving innocents alone as much as possible, but that doesn’t mean I trust them, any of them, even if I have developed an unfortunate soft spot for their leader.

Shaking myself back into the present, I feel the dread in my stomach welling up as I come into view of the house, only to find the building completely dark. Frowning in worry, I pick up the pace, pushing past the gate in my haste to reach the front door, which stops me in my tracks as I catch sight of it.

It is ajar, the locks snapped off completely.

Setting my jaw in grim realisation, I reach into my inner jacket pocket, pulling out the stake laced with holy water, the smooth wood reassuring under my fingers as I slowly push open the door, bracing myself for whatever lies past the boundary. Waiting for me is the dark interior of my hall, everything as it should be, barring the lack of light, my pulse picking up a little as I survey the area in trepidation. Entering, I step carefully, trying to keep as quiet as I can so as not to alert the intruders to my presence, though if it is who I think it is, there’s no point. All around me, the house is eerily quiet, no sounds accompanying my entrance.

Looking to my left, I notice that the door to the lounge has been torn clean off its hinges, the area behind it as black as the rest of the house. I grit my teeth, trying to see into the room as much as possible, though I know it's impossible thanks to my human vision, so I grab the torch off the table beside the door, knowing it is there due to my normal organised behaviour. Switching it on, I aim the bright beam into the lounge, a gasp escaping me as I catch sight of the ghostly pale features of my sister sitting in a chair, mouth gagged, arms clearly tied behind her, her eyes wide and terrified.

Putting a finger to my lips as a gesture for her to remain quiet, I cautiously make my way into the room, looking around me as I do so, checking the surroundings as thoroughly as possible, though, in my haste, I forget the most important place. Deeming it clear, I go to my sister, dropping the stake as I place a hand on her cheek, tilting her face up towards me; checking her neck for the tell tale signs. Finding none, I let out a grateful sigh, before finally registering her fearful murmurs, my hand reaching for the stake at my feet, my pulse picking up a lot more as the gravity of my previous mistake sinks in. As I go to pick the short length of wood up, a heavy boot lands on my hand, holding the appendage in place, tension freezing my body in place as the lights suddenly switch on, revealing the intruders to me.

“Hello, (Y/n). We have a bone to pick with you.” A sinister voice sounds behind me, the source of it well known to me, though I’ve never heard it laced with so much anger before.

“David. What are you doing here?” I look over my shoulder at the blonde vampire, taking in his venomous look with confusion, my hand still pinned to the floor under his shoe. Behind him, Dwayne and Paul shoot me equally angered expressions, the vampires trying to hold back their more primal facial features with some success though their eyes flash yellow from time to time.

“I think you know full well the reason for our visit.” David hisses at me, pressing harder onto my hand, a cruel smirk making its way onto his handsome face at the wince that escapes me, despite my better judgement.

“I don't? Mind filling me in?” I retort, lifting an eyebrow as I keep eye contact with him, his own eyes narrowing in fury. He nods once to Paul and Dwayne, who instantly move over to me, grabbing hold of me and lifting me to my feet, pinning my hands behind my back and forcing me to keep my eyes trained in front of me as they back me away from my captive sister, who watches this in pure terror.

“What are you doing? What’s going on?” I protest, only just noticing something key, “Where’s Marko?”

At the mention of their friend's name, all three vampires tense up, a low growl leaving Dwayne's lips at my question.

“You tell me, (Y/n), you killed him.” David manages to keep his voice level, though I can tell he's barely keeping his rage in check, his words hitching a little.

Shock floods me, rendering me silent as I search for the appropriate words, well aware that I had nothing to do with Marko’s death.

“Wh....he's dead? How?” I eventually manage, looking to them for answers.

“You staked him, don’t you remember?” Paul growls in my ear, his fangs emerging to brush along the carotid artery in my neck, a warning shiver going through me at the sensation.

“How am I supposed to remember something I didn’t do?” I protest, regretting my words as Dwayne’s grip on my arm tightens, nails digging into the soft flesh, painfully, “I didn’t stake him.”

Giving me an acidic glare, David goes over to my sister, lifting a hand to cup her chin, tilting her head to the side, giving him easy access to her neck. At this, I become panicked, writhing in the other two vampires’ grip, pulling and fighting to get free, a grunt leaving me as they yank me back into place, holding me as still as possible.

“What are you doing? She’s done nothing, I’ve done nothing! Whatever happened to Marko, she has had no part in it, leave her alone! Please!” I plead their leader, embarrassment accompanying the panic coursing through my veins as I realise I’m begging him, my usually hard exterior cracking slightly.

“Why should you not feel the pain we do? Especially after breaking the rules of our agreement, which we've kept to as we are supposed to.” David snarls at me, his vampiric appearance threatening to distort his features as he leans closer to my sister, her confused terror palpable in the air, whimpers and cries of fear forcing themselves past the gag in her mouth

“I’ve never broken those rules before, so why should I do it now? You know, of all people, that I respect the agreement as much as you guys do. I’ve never let another vampire hunter stay on your turf, I've hunted any vampires that tried to stay around, I’ve never let anyone find out the truth, and I sure as hell would never kill any of you! What would I get out of doing something like that?” I point out to them, hoping they recall the time when I spent an entire night chasing some leather clad priest out of Santa Carla, the paranoid man having been particularly violent when he thought I was a vampire, trying to stake me and succeeding, thankfully missing any vital organs, though my resilience managed to scare him off in the end.

The room goes quiet as the vampires consider this, the only sound being my sister's soft noises of terror as she watches the exchange, her head still at an angle in David's grasp. Clenching his jaw, the blonde vampire releases her, stepping over to me so that he can look me directly in the eye, his rage still dangerously high, though it’s dampened now, his face more human than before.

“We need to discuss this. Alone.” He eventually bites out, nodding at Paul and Dwayne, who remove their hands from my body with a few indignant murmurs, allowing me to be passed into their leader's clutches, “You two stay here with her. If she tries anything, well, you know what to do.”

At his words, a pit of worry opens up in my stomach, my mind fighting my body as I am dragged from the room, barely registering Paul and Dwayne's smirks, both obviously happy about the outcome of this conversation so far. I go to protest, only to feel the grip on my arm tighten briefly, the vampire leading me obviously warning me to keep quiet as he takes me upstairs, easily able to navigate the dark with his enhanced vision, quickly pushing me into the nearest room, which just happens to be the spare bedroom. As we enter, he flicks on the light, standing opposite me with his hands in his pockets, waiting for me to say something.

“Why are we not talking about this downstairs?” I question after a moment, confused as to the vampire’s reasons.

“Because if it wasn’t you who staked Marko, then I have no idea who else it could be. Star and Laddie are also missing, so I’m out of leads.” He admits carefully, allowing himself to look me in the eye, showing me the raw grief behind them. As quickly as I see it, however, it is gone, the vampire swiftly setting his jaw again.

At the mention of Star, a pang of jealousy makes itself known in my chest but I quickly push it down, knowing he'll be able to hear my heart rate picking up if I don’t suppress my feelings. I let myself relax a little, confident that he won’t do anything to hurt me, and that he is genuinely curious and confused as to who tore their family apart.

“I can’t say I know. There have been no new vampire hunters in town for months, and I’ve made sure to keep an eye out for them, so it’s not another hunter, I don’t think.” I muse, frowning in concentration as I wrack my mind for a possible solution, “Unless...”

My voice trails off as I say the last part, one thought making its way into the forefront of my mind, but I don’t allow myself to think that, unwilling to believe it could be true. Unfortunately, David picks up on my hesitation, instantly moving closer to me, causing me to back up, my pulse raising as he corners me against the wall behind me, his body trapping me. Against my cheek, I can feel the icy air radiating off the vampire's body, his proximity also allowing me to catch the scent of his natural musk, the mixture of dust, blood, leather and motor oil clouding my sense as he leans in close.

“Unless?” He breathes against my skin, voice dropping an octave as he looks into my eyes, a smirk making its way onto his face briefly at the inadvertent hitch in my breath, my body reacting on its own.

“Unless you let someone else in on your secret.” I state, struggling to concentrate under his piercing gaze.

A line appears between his eyes as he considers this, a flash of understanding suddenly breaking out across his face, a snarl ripping from his lips at the thought.

“Michael.” He spits out, eyes flashing dangerously.

“Michael?” I inquire, trying to think back to the Michael he means.

“The new kid, Michael Emerson. We initiated him last night, but he refused to feed, so he still hasn’t turned. I know he and Star slept together, so it’s not unlikely for her to have run off with him.” David's voice is low once more, anger lacing his tone.

“Michael Emerson?” The name sets off alarm bells in my head, the surname familiar to me, “He have a brother?”

“Probably, I don’t exactly make a point of learning a person's family members.” The vampire responds impatiently.

“You did when we first met.” I point out quietly, looking down as he shoots me an odd look, a blush creeping onto my face at his next words.

“You’re different.”

Glancing up, I gasp as I find his face a lot closer to mine, my usually sharp instinctual knowledge of a person's movements completely off, his eyes staring straight into mine. Smirking he pulls away, putting a little space between us before the scowl is back, his anger and hurt returning swiftly.

“Anyway, I’m pretty sure Michael's younger brother has been hanging out with the Frog brothers in the comic shop, a lot more in the last day or so.” I manage to explain once I’ve regained my composure, adjusting my jacket around me once more.

“And this is important, why?” David growls, eager to avenge Marko’s demise, the blonde vampire twitching a bit.

“Well, the Frog brothers fancy themselves as vampire hunters. I taught them a lot of what they know, but I’ve made sure I never told them exactly what they need to know, and I’ve never drawn any attention to you guys. They were very persistent today, and they seemed stressed.” I inform him a little sheepishly, flinching as he stiffens, worry flooding my mind again, “They’re mostly completely harmless.”

“Not harmless enough.” David hisses, swiftly going to the door and opening it, striding down the stairs as fast as possible, shouting instructions at Paul and Dwayne.

“Where are you going?” I call put after him, tailing the vampire as he leaves the house, a grunt leaving my lips as Paul and Dwayne push past me harshly, knocking my shoulders.

“To settle a score.” Their leader responds, a smirk on his face, though I barely have time to acknowledge it before they’re taking to the skies, hellbent on revenge.

Speechless, I stand there for a second, my brain kicking me into action as I realise they are in big trouble, both the Emersons and the vampires – they’re both too stubborn in nature to give up. Instantly, I race into the house, where I grab the keys to my motorbike as well as a few vials of holy water, just in case, briefly going into the lounge to free my sister and reassure her. Minutes later, I’m on the back of my roaring motorbike, a grim expression on my face at the thought of the events of tonight, swiftly manoeuvring my way towards the Emerson's home.

A wind has picked up since I’ve been the house, the icy air rushing past me as I hurtle along the darkened road at nearly 100mph, my leather jacket barely protecting me against it, though I don’t notice it in any case. My mind is dead set on reaching my destination, though I know I am most likely too late to do anything to help, the vampire’s being inhumanely faster than me after all. Urgency gives me a reckless speed, an oncoming truck nearly sending me flying off the road as it almost hits me, a few birds and dogs in the surrounding landscape breaking into sound as I pass them, the interruptive engine exciting them. The odd pedestrian calls out at me as I thunder past, insults and words of irritation lost in the wind, their meaning falling on deaf ears as I ignore every person I come across, until I reach the road leading to the familiar house a little way away from the rest. Determined, I turn down it and ramp up the speed, blinking away tears that have formed in my eyes from the barrage of air, the salty liquid momentarily blurring my vision.

Soon enough, the Emerson home comes into view, prompting me to cut the speed abruptly, skidding as the motorbike struggles to grip the dusty surface below it. As soon as it comes to a halt, I jump off of it, racing up the driveway to the house, barely noticing the gate as I vault over it, thankful now that I took time to train myself in this kind of agility, my pace not faltering for a second until I reach the front door, where I slow down enough to take in my surroundings.

The room is bathed in a crimson light, the source unimportant for the minute, revealing the dark shadows of several pieces of dislodged furniture, a table laden with stakes near the middle, a mangled body lying a little way away from it. Gulping, I go over to it with caution, half expecting someone to attack me, though it is eerily quiet in this area of the house, the only sound being a few static sparks from the smoking stereo above the corpse.

My eyes widen as I recognise the mutilated vampire, concern and shock flooding me at the realisation; Dwayne. Going nearer, I look over the debris around him, deducting his fate very quickly, though it surprises me greatly that a bunch of kids would do something like this. But then again, it is the Frog brothers.

All of a sudden, I feel something connect with my shoulder; the force of the impact throwing me a good few feet to the left, a dull ache starting in the inflicted area as I collide, violently, with the floor. Groaning, I look up, only now hearing the snarls and rasping voices of two vampires, the ominous shape of the two of them hanging from a doorframe a couple of metres away catching my attention. One of them I recognise to be David, the blonde growling into the face of another, who I assume to be Michael, both of them so locked up in each other that they haven't noticed my presence behind them, both pairs of yellow eyes focused solely on each other.

Scrambling to my feet, I force my legs to carry me over to them, grabbing hold of David's back in an attempt to pull them apart, though I know full well that I am far too weak to be successful by force alone. A few words leave my lips, useless pleas falling on deaf ears as they continue to fight, verbally, with each other.

“Join us, Michael!” The familiar yet slightly distorted tone of David interrupts me, the vampire's tense muscles bunching underneath me as if ready to move again.

“Never!” The brunette rejects the offer, most likely not for the first time, drawing a frustrated growl from the blonde.

“My blood runs in your veins!” David points out, his smirk almost audible in his words.

“So does mine!” Michael growls one last time, before I suddenly feel our bodies being turned and forced towards something invisible to me, the shock and confusion briefly flaring in my mind until two searing points of agony burst into existence in my abdomen. A strangled scream escapes my lips at the sensation, blood pushing its way past my lips with every faltering breath, my eyes swiftly finding the two horns of sorts protruding from my body, the two vampires staring at me from behind them. In my rapidly deteriorating state, I recognise David's features becoming human again as he rushes to my side, panic and horror lacing his voice, shock clouding his gaze.

“(Y/n)?! What the hell?! This can’t be happening...I can’t lose everyone!” He rambles, the usually composed vampire scrambling for sanity now that he's faced with a situation he can't control. Gasping, I try to lift a hand, intending to wipe away the tear rolling down his cheek, only to let out a whimper of pain when the movement jars the wounds in my stomach. Eyes widening, David seems to make a split second decision, swiftly apologising as he reaches underneath me to grasp my body in his hands, pulling me off the horns abruptly, pulling me into his chest as I scream in pure agony. In seconds, I feel the cool night air on my face again, my hands clutching at David's jacket desperately when he leaps off the ground, taking to the sky in order to escape the residents of the Emerson household, holding me tightly to him, whispering despairing reassurances into my ear.

My vision starts to cloud slightly, the pain in my abdomen almost too much for me to bear, my mind becoming hazy, though I try my best to stay awake for his sake, knowing it will ruin him if I pass in his arms. Small whimpers leave me every now and then, each time drawing the attention of the panicking blonde vampire, his grip steadily tightening around me as he quickens his pace, the wind turning icy as it rushes around us.

Eventually, after what feels like hours, we enter what looks to be the cave they reside in, though I’ve only been in it once and so don't remember too well what the interior looks like. A soft surface appears below me as his arms leave me, though they don’t quite retreat fully, his large hands tilting my head to him as he tries to hold eye contact with me, failing when the hurt in them becomes too much for him to handle.

“God, I’m so sorry, (Y/n), I never realised you were there! This should never have happened, I got lazy and arrogant...and now they’re all dead!” At his own words, David breaks down, sobs leaving the normally intimidating vampire as tears flow freely down his cheeks, “God, they're all dead! And now I’m gonna lose you too!”

Upon hearing how broken he is, I say the only thing that comes to mind, my decision made up, even if it goes against my every rule, hoping to hell I can console him.

“T...turn...me...” My voice is hoarse and strangled from the blood still oozing out from between my lips, but I know he’ll hear me.

Sure enough, the blonde stiffens, his eyes fixing on me in surprise.

“What did you say?” He questions, tone laced with disbelief.

“Turn...me...” I repeat, lifting a hand to place it on his, weakly rubbing his frigid skin under the digit, reassuring him.

“Are you...are you sure?” For once, David looks genuinely caught off guard and unsure of himself, the moment of weakness a new idea for me to wrap my head around, though I know I will never bring it up again around him, should I survive this. Another wave of pain forces the deciding words from me, my voice strained.

“Yes, I can’t leave you alone. Not now, not ever.”

Seeing the seriousness in what I’m saying, as well as the truth, David carefully moves himself into the bed with me, cradling me against him as he uses a fingernail to slice into his wrist, lifting the bleeding appendage to my face. Pressing my lips against his pale akin, I don’t allow myself time to rethink my choices, sucking and licking at the wound feebly at first, until my strength picks up, the healing properties in his blood starting to re-energise me. A sigh escapes his lips above me, his other hand holding me tighter to his body, his grief momentarily forgotten by the joy at having me finally submit to him after all these years, the sensation of my lips on his arm reawakening a feeling he hasn’t felt in years.

Finally, I pull away, my head falling back onto his chest, my eyes rolling upwards to look into his, relief filling me as the pain subsides a bit, not quite leaving completely. Smiling down at me, David lifts one hand, which is covered in my blood, to his mouth, where he makes a show of licking each digit clean, moaning slightly at the taste. Blushing, I can only watch as he enjoys himself, allowing himself a little respite after everything that’s happened.

“Thank you, (Y/n).” He hums to me, genuinely grateful that I’ve decided to join him, glad that he won’t have to deal with his pain alone.

“Of course. No one should be alone. Especially not someone as lost as you.” I say to him, rolling over with some difficulty to rest my chin on his chest, staring up at him in sympathy.

A shocked look crosses over his face at my words, clearly unused to being shown genuine affection, his expression giving me the impression that he’s having some sort of internal conflict. It takes him a few minutes, but eventually he seems to make up his mind, using one hand to gently cup my chin and pull me closer to him, our faces centimetres apart. In my chest, my heartbeat picks up, butterflies forming under my skin as our lips brush, before he suddenly presses them together in a soft kiss. Surprised, I freeze for a second, only to kiss back as gladly as he does, joy blanking out the dull pain in my abdomen as our lips move together, his hand moving from my chin into my hair, pulling me closer until I run out of air, at which point we have to part.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that.” David whispers to me, caressing my back with his other hand, a smile gracing his lips once more.

“I could say the same thing.” I respond, giggling a little, until a yawn interrupts me, my exhaustion finally catching up with me. My eyelids start to droop, my body comfortable against David's chest, despite the icy temperature, him clearly as happy to have me there as I am to be there.

“I'll help you complete the transition tonorrow, but for now, sleep well, (Y/n).” He says to me as I drift off, voice soft and gentle in my ears, lulling me to sleep.

[kpophours]

One Love || part II

➵ SF9: Youngbin x fem. reader / series, werewolf AU / fluff

➵ warnings: slight cursing, slight mentions of alcohol

➵ word count: 2.6k

previous. | next.

Youngbin stood in the middle of his office, blood rushing to his head. He was shaking, heart beating way too fast and breath coming out in shallow, quick huffs.

He had just met his mate. 

You were his mate. 

His knees buckled and he had to lean against the wall behind him for support. 

He had just met his mate for the first time and like a complete idiot, he had run away from you. 

But he'd simply been unable to cope in that moment - he never would have thought that he’d ever meet his mate, never would have dreamed of meeting you here, in his shop... Inseong had said you smelled different to him, but that you definitely wasn't his mate - well, the slightly older man had been right, you smelled differently to wolves, because you were his, Youngbin’s mate.

He took in a shaky breath and let out a small, humorless laugh.

Inseong’s scientific assistant was his mate. Of course his and Inseong’s lives had to be intertwined even more. That was just his luck - the relationship he had with the slightly older man was rocky to say the least, thanks to their past. But they had finally begun to work together again these last few months, sharing the burden of being oldest of their pack and having to care for the younger wolves. He knew Inseong wouldn't be happy about yet another person - which whom he had to spend a lot of time with - being "seized" by Youngbin. First his beloved cousin, now his scientific assistant - who Inseong liked, that much was obvious, even though he had been working with you for only two days so far. He had been practically gushing about you yesterday!

"What a mess.", Youngbin murmured and closed his eyes, taking another deep breath to calm himself. 

"Hey... Uhm, are you okay?" your soft voice suddenly asked from beside him, making him jump. He opened his eyes, blinking down at you.

God, you were beautiful. 

He just wanted to bury his nose in the soft waves of your hair. 

You just... smelled so good, how was he ever supposed to concentrate around you? 

And your eyes... those eyes! 

He stared at you in wonder. 

"Uhm… Mr. Kim?" You sounded nervous and drew your eyebrows together, "Are you okay? You look a bit pale." 

"Youngbin. Please... just call me Youngbin.", he finally answered, trying to smile. Your face immediately softened and you returned his smile. You were even more radiant than before and he gulped. "Uh, Hwi is looking at your car right now, I hope?" 

You nodded. "He is indeed - he said I could wait in the office and that you would make some coffee or tea." Now, you full on grinned, "So, I thought I should take you up on his offer." 

Youngbin rolled his eyes, but his bright grin betrayed his real emotions. 

He is even more handsome when he smiles, you thought to yourself, trying to ignore your fast beating heart. 

"Well, I guess I’ll have to show you my hospitality now, won't I? We don't want you to be disappointed.", Youngbin joked and you nodded grimly, though your eyes were sparkling with hidden humor. Youngbin gestured towards one of the chairs inside the office, before turning towards the coffee machine. "Espresso, Latte Macchiato, Cappuccino?", he asked, face turned away from you. He was still trying to get his facial expressions in order as he didn't think it would be wise to show you his apparent wonder and admiration - that would surely just scare you away. 

"Cappuccino please." Your voice... he could listen to your voice for forever. 

"So... you're Inseong’s new scientific assistant, I heard?" God, he was truly horrible at small talk. 

"I am indeed." You sounded amused. When he turned around again, the two cups of freshly made coffee in his hands, you had crossed your legs and were observing him with a watchful expression on your face. He felt a bit helpless - something not often accomplished as he was an alpha and therefore a born leader. 

"Thank you.", you said when he placed one of the mugs in front of you, taking a seat behind his desk - the table providing a much appreciated barrier between you two.

"So, what's it like to work with Inseong?" 

"Well, I've only had the pleasure of working with him for two days so far - but he is very kind and I'm sure we’ll get along just perfectly. You have known him for a long time, right?", you asked and raised the cup to you lips, gently blowing on the hot beverage, before taking a careful sip. 

"Yes. One could even say we grew up together - so we share a lot of history.", Youngbin answered, voice rather tight. 

"You don't sound too pleased about that." 

"He's like family to me. But as so often, one doesn't always see eye to eye in a family." 

"You argue, you mean." 

Youngbin smiled, humorless. "Some would probably say too much." 

You sighed. "It's the same with me and my brother.", you confessed, "We are very different people - and whenever we see each other, we begin to argue." Youngbin took a sip of coffee as well, before asking: "About what?" 

"Oh, you know..." You lazily waved one hand, shrugging, "About this and that. Sometimes about stupid, unimportant stuff, but mostly about his perception of the world or how it should be - at least in his eyes... let's just say, he's not very open-minded." 

"Other than you?" 

"I would like to think so, yes. What about you, would you consider yourself to be an open-minded person, Youngbin?" You fixated him with glinting eyes, the corners of your lip curling into a slight smile.

It was the first time you said his name - and he wanted you to repeat it over and over again, never before had his name sounded so beautifully. "I would like to think so, yes. But there are boundaries to my tolerance." 

At this, you nodded thoughtfully. "That's not a bad thing per se. It depends on what you tolerate or don't - everything should be within reason." 

"We see eye to eye, then." 

You smiled at him and he swore, his heart stopped for a few seconds. 

You talked about this and that for the next half an hour and time simply flew by - way too soon, Hwiyoung entered the office, telling you about finishing the check up on your car. "There's a minor damage concerning the steering mechanism, but it's not too bad. You can make another appointment to have it fixed next week. Other than that, you're good to go.", the young man explained, wiping his grimy hands on an even grimier towel. You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God, you had me scared for a second. Can I make that appointment now?" 

Hwiyoung looked at Youngbin, who nodded. "Of course." With that, he opened his MacBook and clicked on his calendar. "What time and day suits you best?", he asked, trying not to look at you with too much admiration in his eyes - just so Hwiyoung wouldn't notice anything being amiss with his alpha.

"Uh, well... to be honest, I'm free most of the time. I have to work Monday till Friday from 9 to 6 or 6.30pm latest, but that's about it..." You smiled, a tad embarrassed, "I don't really know anyone around town just yet - well, except for Inseong of course - so I don't have any plans next week. What day would suit you guys the best?" 

Youngbin thought about it for a second. "What about next Tuesday, 7pm?" 

"But you'll be alone at that time!", Hwiyoung immediately protested, but Youngbin just shrugged. "I don't have any other appointment that day and I think I can repair the damage on my own." He looked at you and you nodded in confirmation: "Tuesday, 7pm it is, then."

"Perfect. See you on Tuesday.", Youngbin tried to sound nonchalantly, which earned him another smile from you. 

He would never get used to your beautiful smile - not in a thousand years. 

"Thank you for having a look at my car, Hwiyoung. See you guys!" With that, you waved at them, took your car keys from Hwiyoung and left the office - not before giving one last look and smile to Youngbin, who couldn't help but softly smile back at you. 

When you were gone, Hwiyoung turned around to look at his alpha. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile this much in such a short amount of time.", he commented, raising an eyebrow suspiciously, "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, don't get on my nerves.", Youngbin just grumbled, rolling his eyes and closing his MacBook again, "Let's pack things up and go home.“

The rest of Youngbin’s week was spent thinking about his mate way too often. He knew he should talk to the rest of the pack - or at least to Inseong - but he hadn’t been ready for that yet. He was still digesting that he had really, finally found his mate. 

“Youngbin!“ 

He looked up, surprise written all over his face. “What?“, he asked, gazing at the rest of the pack. “It’s your turn to draw out our new routes for running.“, Chani said, raising one eyebrow, “Where the hell are you with your thoughts? Is everything alright? You’ve been acting strange these last few days.“ 

Youngbin sighed deeply and rubbed his face, tiredness washing over him. He should really try to concentrate, the youngest pack member was right. “Yes, sorry. I’m just... tired, that’s all. I’ll tell you guys about your new routes tonight, I promise.“ With that, he abruptly stood up and left the living room - leaving the rest of the pack somewhat bewildered behind. 

“What’s up with him?“, Taeyang asked, confused, and looked at his older brothers. „I don’t know, but something’s up. He’s been acting very strange for a few days now.“, Hwiyoung murmured, drawing his eyebrows together and thinking hard, “I think it started on Tuesday?“ 

“Did something happen at the shop? Something out of the ordinary?“, Zuho inquired and Hwiyoung shook his head. “Not that I know of. We had a few cars to repair and late in the evening, Inseong’s new scientific assistant came by, but that was about it…“ 

“Y/N was at the shop?“, Rowoon asked, earning himself a few surprised looks. 

“Do you know her?“ 

He nodded. “Yeah, Inseong introduced me yesterday. I like her, she’s really nice!“ 

“Huh... Well, I think she should come over sometime soon, so that we all get to finally meet her.“, Jaeyoon suggested, sounding a bit jealous. Dawon nodded. “Yes, especially as she’s going to be around Inseong so often - it’s only logical.“ 

Taeyang frowned at his older brothers. “Not really. It’s not as if both will be hanging around each other all the time during their free time.“, he tried to reason, but the other two just threw him dirty looks.

Meanwhile, Youngbin listened in on their conversation, hiding on top of the staircase. 

So, the others had noticed he was behaving a bit more strange after all. 

Damn it. 

He definitely had to do better in the future - or at least until he had decided what to do about his mate.

The rest of your week passed in a blur - you got some stuff for your apartment, finally unpacked the last boxes, went out for drinks with Inseong and spent a relaxed weekend at home with a Lord of the Rings marathon and a bottle of your favorite red wine. 

You felt very content and relaxed when you entered the office on Monday morning, but to your surprise, Inseong was nowhere to be found. Instead, a handsome stranger sat in his chair, fiddling his thumbs and seemingly waiting for him as well.

“Uh… Good morning.“, you said, raising both eyebrows, „Not to be rude - but who are you and what are you doing in my office?“ 

A dimpled smile lit up the stranger’s face and he immediately jumped up from the chair, walking around Inseong’s desk. He was tall and broad, with brown wavy hair and large, dark eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry! I was just waiting for Inseong, because I have to ask him something personal. You must be Y/N, his new scientific assistant, right?“ 

You nodded, shaking his offered hand. “And you are…?“ 

“Oh, sorry!“ His laugh was infectious. “I’m Jaeyoon, I’m part of the same pac- uh, we’re roommates!“, he finally explained, scratching his head and smiling down at you. 

“Ahh, right! He told me about his living conditions - you’re nine in total, right? Well, it’s nice to meet you, Jaeyoon.“, you smiled back at him, “But I have to say - I can’t help you. I actually thought Inseong would be here by now. He’s never been late so far.“ You frowned, gnawing on your lower lip. “I hope nothing has happened to him...“

“To whom? To me?“, an amused voice behind you suddenly asked and you whirled around. And there, just stepping through the door and into the office, was no other than your missing boss - two cups of steaming hot coffee in his hands. “I’m late one time and you immediately think something must have happened to me. I don't know if I should be flattered or offended.“ With that, he grinned at you and handed you one of the cups. “Hi Jaeyoon. What are you doing here?“, he then asked the other man, raising both eyebrows in a questioning manner. 

“Oh, I… uh, actually forgot.“ Jaeyoon frowned, thinking hard. “I wanted to ask you something, but it must have slipped my mind… I’ll just text you later if I can think of it again. See you! Bye Y/N - it was nice meeting you.“ He quickly smiled at you before hurrying out of the office. 

“Well, he seems nice.“, you said, before taking your place behind the desk. 

“Mostly… But he’s one half of the chaos line, so he can be quite… challenging at times.“, Inseong agreed, seating himself behind his desk as well. 

“The chaos line?“, you asked, confused, and Inseong laughed. “That’s what I call him and another one of my broth- uh, roommates, Dawon. They can be quite a handful - very mischievously, especially together.“ 

“Sounds exhausting.“ 

“Well, they can be. But they’re also real moodmakers. You’ll probably meet Dawon soon enough, if I know him at all. And to be quite honest, I think that was Jaeyoon’s plan all along as well - I don’t think he wanted to see me, but to finally see you.“ 

You laughed at that and shook your head. “Cheeky.“ 

“Oh, he is. But come to speak of it... Would you want to come over for dinner some time this week? Then you’ll finally meet my whole pac- I mean, my whole family.“, Inseong looked quite nervous upon asking you, which made you smile. He truly was just such a sweet guy.

“Oh, I would love that - I can make dessert, if you like!“ 

Inseong clapped his hand together, excitement written all over his face. “Oh, that’ll make Rowoon very happy - he loves cooking, but he’s not that much into making desserts. I’ll ask the others which day suits them best and confirm with you again?“, he said, obviously pleased with your response. 

“That sounds perfect, thank you.“, you agreed and returned his smile.

With that, you both finally began to concentrate on your work for the day.

[next chapter] | [all chapters]

[etlunainmorte]

Very brief mention of abuse and bullying. Read with caution. Thank you!

***

📷 Memories 📷

***

"I'll be home soon, Kyrie. I promise. Okay." Nero placed his cellphone back to his pocket just in time to see Nico's mysterious black - haired friend glancing at something outside the window of the trailer.

"See something you like?" The young Devil Hunter asked, his eyebrows knitted in confusion at the way the man stared.

"She has been at it for almost an hour and a half,..." The man answered with a low voice.

"I told ya, don't mind what she does." Nico, who was fixing the broken camera at the back of the trailer where her messy workplace was situated, answered almost harshly. She gave a quick look at her friend, saw him still staring outside the window, and rolled her eyes in defeat. Then, with a slightly irritated look at Nero, she added, "See? He just won't listen!"

"What are you looking at, anyway?" Curious, Nero finally gave a glance outside the window to see what the man was staring at. And lo and behold, he saw Mary sitting at one of the old benches outside not far from where the trailer was parked, doing something really,... unusual. "Oh, this is something new. What's she doing?"

"I saw her taking out a sketchbook from that bag of hers. And she started,... scribbling." The man answered.

"Huh. Really?" Nero scoffed and collapsed at the chair opposite V. "Well, that's something new. At least she's doing something really productive for a change."

"Meaning?" It was V's turn to ask a question.

Ever since he arrived at the location, V couldn't help but feel that there really was something very odd about what was happening. At first, he thought that Nico was only exaggerating things to make him come out of hiding, hysterically saying stuff like Demons appeared here and there, did this and that, and that she needs his knowledge to get to the bottom of this. Now, years of extensive studies on Demonology has taught V that the evil creatures would not appear and wreak havoc on the surface unless they are ordered to do so by a higher, sort of high - ranking, Demon. Or if they are seeking something of utmost value. Regardless, when V arrived, he proved Nico's words to be the truth. Demons did appear here and there and did this and that.

However, he can't say that his knowledge about Demonology is enough to solve this mind - boggling issue about these creatures appearing out of nowhere.

And Mary's odd behavior, and most probably his guilt of wrecking the damn camera, didn't help with the situation, at all.

"You see," Nero began. " ... Mary was - "

"Hey,... " Nico interrupted all of a sudden. The two men both looked at her and saw her pointing at something right outside the window next to her. " ... that's Morrison!"

Morrison? Thought V as the Artisan went out to greet the new visitor,...

***

It's unmistakable. Marsha heard the girl crying. And she has never even heard or seen the child do so.

The tall and perfectly poised woman abandoned her knitting and sped towards the living room to see her niece trying to patch up what looked like wounds on her palms with bandages.

And not just any wound,...

"Mary?!" Marsha called. The little girl almost jumped in fear as she heard her name being called and tried to hide her hands behind her back.

And this only made Marsha even more suspicious.

The woman sighed, strode closer towards the girl, bent down and grabbed her niece's arms. "You don't hide things from me, young lady!"

"But, Marsha, it's nothing!" The girl hopelessly argued, for she knew she was losing. Marsha finds out about everything, and that was a fact.

But, the older lady was having none of Mary's arguments. Marsha pulled her niece's arms from behind her back, held out her little hands, and saw, in utter fright and disgust, the lashes and blood painting the girl's little palms.

And the sight infuriated Marsha to the bone.

The next morning, Mary found Marsha knitting again on her little space in the huge library.

"I'm going to school." Mary announced with a loud voice over the Doris Day song that was being played on a vintage record atop one of the antique tables next to the shelves to her left. It was Marsha's favorite song.

And to what Mary just said, the older lady looked up from her handiwork and only raised an eyebrow. Raising her wire - rimmed glasses above her pointed nose, she said, "Oh, you're not going to school today, young lady."

Mary furrowed her eyebrows in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because, I said so!" The woman answered, her facial expression as stoic as ever. "Now, do come here and keep me company."

The little girl, although doubtful of Marsha's decision to not drive her to school that one particular morning, obeyed, putting her bag on the floor next to the iron table and sat across her aunt. 

Looking at the many colorful yarns and several unfinished projects on the table, Mary asked, "How about tomorrow?"

"No." Marsha answered, her eyes never leaving her craft. Her answer remained the same for a week that Mary finally took up the courage to pick up one of the green yarns and a pair of darning needles from Marsha's knitting kit.

And this did not go unnoticed by Marsha, herself. Looking at Mary's freshly bandaged hands, and the needles she's holding, she nodded, and said, "Very well. I could teach you if you want. ONLY if you want."

Mary gave a sheepish smile and placed the yarn and the needles back to the basket before her. She, then, took out her sketchbook and some coloring materials from her bag and went on to finish that Venus art she's been working on for a week since Marsha forbade her to come to school.

It was not until another week when Mary finally found out that Marsha tried to press charges to the school and that awful teacher who gave her those wounds. Getting little to no justice after what happened, Marsha gave up and, instead, had Mary enrolled to a different school that was very far from that accursed place full of bullies, not to mention that devil Burns ( who only received penalties so light it's ridiculous, considering what he's done ) still on the loose and freely roaming about that campus.

It was also during that time when Mary almost memorized all of Doris Day's songs about love and heartbreak, and how not to question Marsha's decisions ever again.

***

" ... please, call me, Mary. I'm so worried about you - "

With furrowed eyebrows, Mary ended the voicemail from her aunt and made her way back to the trailer where she found, yet, another visitor sitting on a chair across that tall, black - haired man who stepped on Nico's camera.

Stuffing her cellphone back to her pocket, she saw the new visitor standing up and offering his hand to her.

"I'm Morrison." The man graciously introduced himself as he shook Mary's hands. "And you must be Mary Suermann! New accomplice of Nico?"

"Ah, yes, you might say that." Mary answered quietly as she took her hand from his, trying to ignore the fact that she could feel someone staring at her from behind her back. She carefully turned around without having to face V and stood next to the door, seeing that her companions were discussing something.

"So, let me get this straight," Morrison began as he settled back to his chair. " ... strange Demons began appearing randomly in some specific locations in this city? And not just any Demon, you say?"

"Yeah." Nero, who was sitting on the sofa next to V, answered. "Ahh, V, what did you say that Demon's name was, again?"

"Niddhogg." V answered, his low voice sending shivers down Mary's spine. She would never, ever, forget that voice, no. "But it wasn't particularly a Demon. It was a parasite that lives in an evil tree called the Qliphoth, which thrives on Human blood."

"And this Qliphoth tree," Morrison spoke. " ... are there any of those growing around here?"

"If there is,... then this city could very well be done for." V answered, successfully drawing all eyes on him in curiosity. "You see, this,... demonic tree,... grows quite,... let's just say,... rapidly. But, never mind that. The point is: there should be no Niddhogg if there is no,... Qliphoth,... to begin with."

"Niddhogg,... " Morrison mused as he rubbed his stubble. "I'm not gonna lie with you but, that is the first time I've heard of that thing. I don't even know what that looks like - "

"Exactly why Mary had to take pictures of it!" Nico added, emphasizing on the name like she was some kind of a criminal who committed such atrocious deeds. "Isn't that right, huh Mary?"

With a deep sigh, she took out her sketchbook from her bag, opened it, and handed it to Morrison, who gazed at it with such unmasked awe.

Not that the Demon illustrated in it was such a looker, no.

"Magnificent!" Morrison exclaimed. "Are you the one who drew this, Mary?"

With a little sheepish smile, she nodded, and answered, "Yeah."

Morrison looked up from the sketchbook, held it up for the others to see, and asked, "Is this the one?"

And to this, V's eyes widened for a fraction of a second. It truly was an exact and very detailed drawing of the demonic parasite Niddhogg.

Who knew this girl had some kind of a hidden talent?

"Indeed." V answered, a bit of admiration getting past his monotonous voice, which Mary didn't miss.

Nico, who was leaning against her jukebox, took the sketchbook from Morrison's hands and stared at it with widened eyes full of wonder and disbelief. This made Mary smile a bit, and V, who was observing this entire scene, didn't miss the little gesture.

"Whoa. Ya really are an artist!" Nico exclaimed.

"Why?" Nero butted in. "Don't believe her?"

Even before Nico could fire up her own response, Morrison cleared his throat and said, "I want to take a picture of that illustration, if I may. I would show it to my associate in the Devil Hunting business and see if he could crack any sort of thing, anything, regarding this demonic parasite."

Seeing that Morrison's statement was directed at her, Mary nodded, giving her full consent. And as the man began taking photos of her Niddhogg art with his cellphone, Nero asked, "Where were you going, anyway?"

"To the office of the said associate in the Devil Hunting business."

"You mean, Dante?"

"Right you are." Morrison handed the sketchbook back to Mary and placed his cellphone back to his breast pocket. "I have some things to discuss with him. About a man who was found dead in his own house just this morning."

"What happened?" It was V's turn to ask a question.

"Reports say he died of cardiac arrest. Not that big of a deal, to be perfectly honest. Except that this man was linked to the disappearance of a few children in the last decade. There are no sufficient evidence to prove his crimes but, investigations are underway after they found some curious things in his home right after his body was taken."

"And those are?" V pried even further, and it was honestly making Mary a bit nervous.

"Some trinkets and clothes that belong to children. Apparently, they were hidden in a small compartment just behind his fridge. The authorities found the man's body, and some emptied bottles of water, right next to it."

"Maybe they belonged to his kids, or something?" Nero tried to explain.

"Yes, except that this man had no children, or relatives living close by. And the only people he knew were his colleagues in a school he was teaching at. Now, don't you worry about this thing. You have your own problems to deal with. But, just to be sure that my hunches are wrong, I will speak to Dante regarding this - "

"This man," All eyes, including V's, all turned to see Mary looking wide - eyed and horrified as she stood near the door. " ... who was he?"

"His name," Morrison began as he stood up and gathered his things on the table. " ... was Roger Burns. He was a teacher at - "

"I know." Mary heard Nico's little gasp at what she just revealed. "He was my teacher."

"Oh!" Morrison exclaimed and put a hand on Mary's shoulder. "I'm so sorry for the loss of your teacher - "

"Actually, I'm not in the least bit sorry. In fact, he - "

"He?" Morrison and the others waited as Mary held out her hands to show them something. But, then, something made her stop as she somewhat stared in disbelief at her own hands.

V, who stood just in time to see what Mary was looking at, saw nothing but her smooth - looking palms.

"Girl, what are you trying to say?" Nico, who was getting a bit impatient, questioned.

Mary looked up, smiled, and brought her hands down. "Nothing! Just,... nothing."

"Alright, then! I'll take my leave. I'll see you around." Morrison, who pretended to not be weirded out by what just happened, tipped his hat and finally left the trailer with more questions than answers.

"Are you alright?" Nero, who placed a hand on Mary's shoulder, kindly asked.

With a smile, she answered, "Never better."

However, V knew that was a lie. Mary was hiding something from them. It was very clear to him. But, what was it?

And why should Mary open up to them in the first place? They wouldn't believe her if she told them that the scar caused by her now dead teacher was all but mysteriously gone!

***

📷📷📷

***

[v1rg1nvodkasprite]

Greaser → Ben Hardy (Part X)

Summary

Due to Shenanigans, you have been sent back in time to the 1960s. You find yourself in a high school. You also find someone very intriguing but he’s unrestrained.

Warnings: language, angst, fluff, hospitalization, defibrillation, crying.

Notes: this is the last part!! thank u sm for reading and lmk what u thought of the series in comments. love u guys!! x

I pulled open the curtain, looking back at Ben in his bed and the back at the man that was getting settled into his own. They had similar facial features but the older man had grey hair and wrinkles on the side of his mouth and around his eyes. There was no way.

I looked back to Ben. What was going on? What were the odds?

"He's awake. Sir! Sir, how are you feeling?" one of the nurses asked. I stood up instantly, trying to get a better look at the man. As he started to talk, a man walked by, closing the curtains.

"Bella?" I heard Ben grasply. I turned to him, sitting down instantly. "Hey, how are you feeling? Do you want the nurse?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I don't feel so good," he whispered as I sat down. I gently brushed his hair out of his face. "I know, babe. I know," I said and held his hand.

A nurse knocked at the wall beside the curtain. "Come in," I called out, not moving my eyes from Ben.

"How is he feeling?" she asked, putting on some gloves. "Not so good, doc." he said, his voice strained. "She popped on a protective, plastic cover onto the thermometer. "Open your mouth," she instructed, placing the thermometer under his tongue.

A minute later, it beeped and she took it out of his mouth, glancing at the temperature, "Your fever has gone down to 100.6 degrees. We'll still need to monitor you and figure out what is really going on with you. I'll get someone to bring you a jello and water," she said, popping of the protective cover into the trash before walking out.

"It's not just the flu, is it Y/N?" he asked, looking up at me. I shook my head. "Apparently, your body is eating itself away," I said, my voice cracking, "I should've never let you come."

"No, babe. I wanted to. I wasn't happy where I was. I was barely living. This isn't your fault," he said, squeezing my hand. "Ben, I've only known you for what? Two weeks?" I pointed out. "Two and a half," he muttered under his breath. I scoffed.

"We barely knew what was going to happen. We hadn't even known each other for a month. It was foolish of me to let you come with me and know look at where you are!" I exclaimed, loudly. Surely the nurses walking by could hear us.

"But it isn't your fault. Who knows what this possibly could be from?" he said after sighing. "What else would it be from Ben? The man in the room across from you has the same fever as you and the same name. None of this is just coincidental," I said.

There was a prolonged silence before Ben broke it. "So, what's going to happen?" he asked. "I don't know, babe."

The curtains slide open and the nurse from earlier walked in. "Here's your jello and water. Just press this blue button if you need anything," she said. We quietly thanked her before she left.

"Please come here," Ben said rasply, "Please." He moved over in his bed, making as much space as possible so that I could fit. I laid down next to him, resting my right leg over him. His body was still warm and his heartbeat was sped up slightly.

"What if you have to go back?" I asked, without thinking. "Why would I have to, love?" he was slightly confused at my question. "What if this doesn't get better. If it's not temporary. What if it's fatal?" I rambled on.

He hugged me closer to him and kissed my forehead, "If it is then I maybe I'll go back." I didn't say anything after that. I just laid next to him listening to the sound of his heart beating and drawing circles on his chest.

After about half an hour, he had fallen asleep, exhausted from everything that had happened. I carefully got up, trying not to wake him. I walked out of his room and speaker through the curtains from the older Ben's room.

He was sleeping peacefully, just as Ben was in the other room. His hair was a bit shorter and grey. He had gained some weight and his arms had lost some of their muscle.

My eyes lowered to the ground and I backed up from out of the room. If the present Ben was here in this lifetime, could my Ben survive here as well? I wondered if that was why they were both sick. It couldn't possibly be just a coincidence.

Ben now was married, in his old age and probably had kids as well as grandkids. The chance for me with him would be if I had been born when he had, back in the early 1950s. That, or go back and be with him which I honestly didn't know if it was worth it or not. I loved him but I could just throw my life away. It wouldnt work out.

I walked back to Ben's room, curling up beside him. His arm wrapped around me and he nuzzled into my hair, half asleep. He would have to go back.

"I love you," I whispered, not intending to receive any response. Ben hummed, still half asleep.

I awoke by a nurse frantically shaking me. "You need to get up, now!" she said, almost yelling at me. I sat up and looked over. They had Ben's shirt off and he looked deadly pale. They were prepping the defibrillator.

I quickly jumped out from the bed, looking at Ben in shock. Tears welled up in my eyes. Was he dead? "Ma'am, you need to step out," one of the doctors ordered. I heard the buzzing of the electricity from the defibrillator. I backed out of the room, as they shocked Ben, making me jump.

I turned around and doctors and nurses were frantically doing the same in the older Ben's room. I slightly shook my head, sitting on floor backed up against the wall. I had to get Ben back as soon as possible.

After 15 minutes or so, they had managed to stabilize his heartbeat. The same with the man across the room. How did they not realize they had two men who had the same name and condition. A nurse mentioned that I could go in and see him which made me push the thoughts into the back of my mind.

I sat in the chair beside his bed and held his hand, moving my thumb across his knuckles. I just watched him. I would miss him so much.

A little while later, I heard rustling in a the bed and a deep groan. "Y/N," he called out. "I know, babe. I'm here. You're okay," I whispered to him and he groaned again. I squeezed his hand, assuring him that I was here.

A moment or two passed before I called out for him. "Ben, you need to go back," I told him and he nodded his head, "I know."

He moved over to make room for me in the small hospital bed. I carefully climbed in and he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me as close to him as he possibly could.

"Just one more day, please," he begged, his chest softly vibrating as he spoke. "Ben, look at you. You almost died. You did die. Who knows what will happen if you stayed here for another day," I said.

He just nodded, understanding the situation. His grip tightened on me and my fingers grazed her his hard chest. A knot in my throat started to grow and and tighten. I tried to swallow it as tears welled in my eyes. I started to quietly cry into his chest.

"One more hour than, just an hour," he pleases and I nodded, looking up at him. He smiled, lifting his hand to my face. He gently swiped the tears from my cheek with his thumb. "I'm so in love with you," he whispered softly. I smiled sadly, "I'm so in love with you," I whispered back.

I brought my hand up to his face, my fingers dancing from his temple to his cheek then to his lips. He was so beautiful.

We laid there just cuddling and studying each other's features. It went by too fast and the clock chimed. An hour had passed. The familiar knot tightened in my throat as I started to cry. Ben hugged me, reaching over to grab my phone and then handed it to me. I sighed, typing in the password opening up the tab with the link on it.

I slowly handed it back to him. He looked to me, leaning in to kiss me. Our lips moved slowly against each other. It was passionate, yet gentle.

Suddenly, his presence disappeared from me. I fluttered my eyes open. Ben was gone, my phone sitting on the bed beside me.

I got up, slowly. It was like all of it was a dream. He was gone. I walked out of the room and walked to the present Ben's room. Or I guess now, just Ben's room.

I peaked through the curtain and saw that he was awake. His eyes met mine and I backed up, gasping. "Bella?" he called out. My breath hitched in my throat. I pushed open the curtain to meet him.

"Holy shit," he exclaimed. He was just as vulgar as he was when he was young. "You're just as I remembered. Did I just leave?" he asked. "You remember?" I asked and he nodded.

The tears that been building up in my eyes started to roll down. "I'm so sorry," I sobbed and he got up from his bed, slowly. He hugged me close to him as I wrapped my arms around him. He was still taller than me.

"It's okay. I'm okay," he told me. I stepped back, nodding. "You need to move on. I always kept you in my heart. Now I have a family of my own. I'm married and have a son and a grandson, who is your age," I nodded, smiling, "I'm happy for you."

"Goodbye," I said, backing up. "Bye, love," he said, waving. I smiled, turning around and walking away. Suddenly, I bumped into a hard chest.

"I'm so sorry," I said, looking up. "You're fine, love," the boy said. He looked so much like Ben. "This is my grandson, James," Ben said from behind me. I smiled, "Hi, James," I greeted him, smiling. "Hey, beautiful."

taglist

@rrrogah-tayluhh , @simplyvictoria-93 , @rencontre-moi-dans-le-couloir , @kirket03 , @plethora-of-things , @satanspaghetti , @rogersrager , @spreadymercury , @hi-i-dont-know , @kurt-nightcrawler, @rogahmtaylah

[slasherparty]

I've been on such a beej kick recently and finding your blog has been a blessing. Would you consider doing hc's for him with a trans male s/o?

abso-FUCKIN-lutely my friend! lovin’ these beej requests, hehe. this one is gonna be fun (i’m a trans guy too and can absolutely guarantee you half the shit below is stuff i actively think abt every day). hope u enjoy!

🎃beetlejuice & his trans bf🎃

beej loves visiting his favorite breather whenever possible, especially when he gets new clothes. seeing him feel confident and powerful in his body makes BJ’s chest swell with pride, though he tries not to let his adoration leak too much. he’s gotta keep his cool before the both of them get all sappy. still, it’s kinda hard not to swoon when he watches him try on new outfits. 

there’s a specific memory beej has of one halloween night. his boyfriend had just gotten fitted for a new tux; he was going as aurelio voltaire to a party on campus. the costume was complete with a top hat, a silk black cape with a red interior, a swanky diamond-skull headed cane, thick-heeled boots and a small black heart drawn in eyeliner under his heavily shadowed eyes. beetlejuice was let out of the mirror immediately without even having to beg, and they tore that halloween bash up. beej had wanted to go as himself to scare his boyfriend’s peers, but decided to let his human dress him up as a vampire bat to complete their mutual aesthetic. 

after about ten months of HRT, beetlejuice starts to notice his boyfriend getting a little depressed that he hasn’t started growing facial hair yet. there’s been lots of other changes, good ones that’ve made his breather real happy and confident, but beej knew he was really looking forward to having that facial affirmation. BJ sits him down one night when dysphoria is hitting him especially hard and gets out a black marker. there’s no room for protest before beej begins crudely rendering a smudgy beard and mustache onto his lover’s face, brows furrowed in concentration. at the end, his human canvas ends up looking like a charcoal-slathered chimney sweep, but there’s a smile on the man’s face and that’s all beetlejuice really cares about. BJ lets his bf draw a stupid marker beard on his face too so they match. the beards are completely ruined during a later make-out session. 

they don’t often have heart-to-hearts. beetlejuice never hangs for long around serious folks and his bf shares the same sentiment, but they have their moments. the pair of them are smoking on the roof one night arguing over which constellation would have the biggest dick when the living man falls silent for a spell. 

“i think you’re the only person i know who truly, y’know… gets it.”

“huh?” beej distractedly drags on his cigarette. 

“just body stuff. you have this no-fucks-given thing that i’ve always admired. you could care less what my body is or isn’t, yknow?” the breather looks up at the sky. “sure, i’ve got trans friends and people i relate to on lots of levels when it comes to trans stuff, but… i don’t think anyone else has ever made me feel as right and as comfortable as you do, beej. i know ya hate this sappy shit, but thank you. for being so unapologetically yourself that i never have to feel bad being my true self around you, either.”

oh, that just about does the old poltergeist in. it takes him every spore in his moldy body to keep it together when his boyfriend turns to him and says that last part, handsome eyes full of naked adoration. its all he can do to grab that silly cute bastard by the face and smash their bodies together. beetlejuice has never been eloquent, always ruins sentimental moments with his sarcasm and puns, but thankfully his boyfriend understands this and realizes just how much his sappiness means to beej at the end of the night.

[scullyeffect]

i was & still am a lot like you when it comes to hangups about dating and i've realized that i am a lesbian. i still read your posts and we used to talk when i had a tumblr because we both have seizures. i had tried going out with a guy and was hoping to get sex "over with" but then couldn't go through with it. my porn tastes are weird and the only guy i can think about in that way is Fox Mulder/DD. i still haven't done anything with anyone else besides a couple of kisses but i do want a gf.

anyway i was just curious if you have pondered whether or not you might be gay?

yay twitch squad! i don’t really want to get sex “over with” but like...every time i go on a date and it like goes well??? the second he starts to message me afterward i fucking ghost. like i talked to this one guy for two weeks before we went out (usually i’d match with someone on tinder and go out with them a few days later or smth), and when we went out he was SUPER nice and a WRITER and we talked at length about writing (which i never get to do irl so it was WONDERFUL) and we saw a movie and he was so nice!!! but i literally was too spooked out by the idea of going on a second date that i just ghosted the poor guy. he was wonderful. i’m an asshole. i’d like to have sex and i’m not necessarily ‘waiting for the right person’ but like, first step is i have to probably keep going out with someone, and i always ghost.

ok short answer to your question: yes i have pondered whether or not i might be gay

conclusion: i have no idea

i know ppl are like ~u just know ur sexuality inside urself~ but i need like...i need someone, girl or guy, to just kiss me or something so i can maybe get a feel for ONE side of the spectrum. i’m not satisfied by ~feeling~ a certain orientation. i want proof and i know that isn’t a popular or very attainable thing but sorry i want it. 

my parents definitely think i’m gay and have asked me repeatedly because even as a kid i would get obsessed with authors or actresses and devour everything i could get my hands on. also because the second my sister turned 18 (literally her birthday) she slept with a guy she’d been lusting over who was 27 and married and wouldn’t have sex with her until she was 18 (FUCKED UP AND I VOICED MY DISAPPROVAL BUT DO PPL LISTEN NO), and my sister has had continual boyfriends ever since. but i went to a very small mostly-girls high school in a very small town. nobody dated. i didn’t even consider it, and then i didn’t go to college so i didn’t get the big eye opening “real world” experience / environment where there would be more dateable material. instead i moved abroad and isolated myself, then moved back home and isolated myself. 

i think a big part of a “fear” i have toward putting myself out there or dating guys is all this man hating everywhere. like yes. men are pigs. but what if i want to date one. what if i want a guy to ask me out. it puts thoughts in my head like “im a bad feminist because i think (blank) is cute and i want him to think i’m cute and i want us to go on a date and i want him to kiss me” which is so FUCKED. i shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to love someone/them to love me and it jUST HAPPEn to be a guy!!! 

also i didn’t have a dad growing up and when my mom remarried when i was 14 i hated it and so i sometimes associate men with unwelcome change etc. i did have crushes, though, which encourages the idea that i could be heterosexual. i worked in a kitchen when i was 16 and was the only girl among 6 men, and the chef loved it because he said they were so much better behaved with a girl (even a teenager) in the kitchen. they were all super nice and very encouraging and never inappropriate and there was this south african guy named Liam who was probably 25 and i ADORED him and he called me ‘chick’. god. miss that dude.

for a time i thought i was bi, but i couldn’t decide if i just liked women as in “they’re easier for me to talk to, most of my friends are girls, i feel safer with girls, girls are pretty” or if i was attracted to them sexually. i feel like there are often girls in my life who i think “god i just am so attracted to her” as in “i want to BE her! i wish i was that cool! that mysterious! that well read! that pretty! had that life!” but i’ve never really thought “god i’m in love with her” this is all very complicated i’m sorry

yeah fox mulder is my self love mind candy. but i’d also like to be swept off my feet by matthew goode and live in domestic bliss with john krasinski. every man looks the same to me, but i do know that i like a little shadow of facial hair maybe. 

also i watch too many serial killer documentaries. a man is like “can i help you carry your suitcase?” in the metro and my primary thought is “EXIT STRATEGY” before i realize i’m lugging 50kg of luggage and yes, i would like some help monsieur

honestly anon, let’s make out and see what happens because i am 100% open to trying things out and i have a healthy mix of hetero dreams and the occasional gay dream and this is equally confusing to me.

i also hate that i’m even on dating apps. it makes me so sad. but mostly because i ghost on people. i also find the idea of someone finding ME attractive very bizarre and unfathomable. i’m funny and witty, i know this, but physically i just don’t see what could possibly be the draw for either sex. i ponder this a lot. i genuinely want to know if i’m physically attractive or if my personality is the attraction and the appearance just comes with the package. because dating apps are so based on appearance.