#id be happy to change that though if you dont ^^

[lunar-fey]

WIP meme: you find yourself in a void?

this is what im considering my main wip right now :) have maybe my favorite scene!

(link to wip list)

And Josh is smiling at him in a way that makes him feel at home, like they just hung out yesterday.

Maybe as far as Josh is concerned, that’s about how long it’s been.

Neku never exactly thought to ask how god-time works.

Now that they’re face to face again, (finally), (finally? has he been waiting for this?), he can’t think of anything to ask. To say.

Josh is raising his arm up like he’s reaching for a hug, but he may as well be a thousand miles away from where Neku’s standing, and it comes off more as some kind of a victory pose. Or like a preacher calling for silence before beginning a sermon.

“Hello, Neku.” His voice sounds distant, and yet like it was whispered right in his ear. It sounds like warm sunlight running down his back. It’s wrong. Josh laughs softly, and as he speaks again his voice splits, crackles and warps until it sounds just like how Neku remembered. “How have you been?”

[kellystar321]

.

[heat--end]

im very set in stone with my identity being just. girl. like simple and plain really. but i think being a robot girl would be kind of cool. this may or may not be my mecha brainrot seeping into other parts of my brain but whatever

[lenny-link]

In regards to the SU x TF2 AU:

I have been racking my brain over here trying to understand the decision to make RED Spy a ruby and BLU Spy a sapphire. Nothing about his portrayal seemed to line up with canon depictions of rubies or sapphires, and RED Spy's gem isn't even faceted like a ruby. Also the obvious joke of making him a Bixbite, like the corrupted gem who was a giant crab, seemed obvious. Then it dawned on me.

He's a color-change sapphire, isn't he? That's why his RED version has a sapphire cut despite supposedly being a ruby? And also potentially why he's the only one we've seen RED and BLU variations of (though I get the impression that's also so one can be paired with Scout's Ma and the other with Engie) when all the others have been RED(-ish) isn't it? Or am I completely off base with this theory?

i LOVE your theory i wish you shared your thoughts before i elaborated the ‘lore’ of the au

but since ive had lots of questions about details id like to mention that:

1. i originally had not planned to make any story behind the su au, so if there’s things that dont make sense, don’t align with canon and stuff, it was not planned soo im working with what i have :p

2. i was hoping no one notices the mistake i made of swapping the gems ruby/sapphire lol its because at first i had drawn Blu(sapphire) Spy in that page, but i thought it was confusing since there was RedSpy x Scout’sMa and Scout next to him, so i just changed the colors and i didnt change the gem bc i was lazy :P

3. the main reason i put both Blu/Red Spy was to create fusion, i thought to add an extra merc with a blu color would be cool for the fusions that isnt from ClassicTeam, and idk i couldn’t think of a better merc to have as a pair than Spy and i thought there is more potential with 2 Spies to work on a story than any other merc idk

(yes i didnt put garnet as the fusion so as not to make confusion with Demoman being a Garnet, and we don’t have an Amethyst anyways so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

4. it is IMPOSSIBLE to align each TF2 character with a SU character, there’s nothing in common between the two medias whatsoever, so the dynamics that im gonna be making for the TF2 au are gonna be a bit mixed, for example: RedSpy and BluSpy having Ruby/Sapphire’s dynamic (kinda), but also they have the same dynamic as Rose/Pearl, for the part where Red would go with a human (Scout’s Ma) and Blu would be jealous (just like pearl), HeavyMedic also would be having Ruby/Sapphire dynamic (the part where they fuse for the first time just like Ruby/Sapphire in the show, im still working on comic about this btw)

5. also im mixing with well TF2 canon story + trying really to make an original story too, soo its a whole mess ik :p im trying just bear with me ^^"

but thank you for pointing that out, it makes me happy knowing people actually pay attention to details thats super fun! ill make sure to not miss any details next time! :D

[aventurineswife]

hii there!! this is my first request ever— so sorry if its bad and u dont need to do if id you’re uncomfortable ofc :)) ive had to leave people whom i thought were good friends many times, or ive been abandoned by them and its happened again recently—

so may i ask that you write something with either aventurine or dan heng (u can pick one or both) seeing the reader in their room in the aftermath of having to leave another friend or group of friends? the scenario i have imagined is that the reader is also feeling alot worse than usual since they are starting to feel that they might be the problem. theyre crying about it in their room where the other hears them and comes to check the reader out of worry. the reader talks to them about it and the other comforts them and promises that they wont have to worry about having to leave or being abandoned by them.

so sorry if thats an odd, specific request 🥹🥹 i adore ur writing and i thought it would be cool to ask!! feel free to change anything as you see fit :)

“You Are Not the Storm”

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Dan Heng x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Support, Angst with a Happy Ending, Found Family, Reassurance, can be read as platonic or romantic.

Warnings: Mentions of loneliness and self-doubt, Emotional distress and crying, Themes of abandonment and self-blame.

A/N: I'm so sorry to hear that, anon 😕 i totally get where you're coming from, I had to leave a friend too because of personal reasons and this has happened to me throughout my life, so I totally understand you. I'll be your friend if you'd like. Hope you like this!

The room was quiet save for the muffled sound of sobs. The soft light of the moon filtered through the blinds, casting silvery streaks across the floor. You sat on the edge of your bed, head buried in your hands, your shoulders shaking. The hurt was raw, cutting deeper this time. The thought repeated in your mind like a cruel mantra: Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the problem.

A quiet knock came at the door. You barely registered it, lost in your spiral. Then the door opened gently, and a familiar voice called your name.

“Aren’t you going to sleep?” Aventurine’s voice was soft but carried an undercurrent of concern. His eyes were filled with worry. He leaned casually against the doorframe, trying not to overwhelm you with his presence. “You’ve been awfully quiet tonight. That’s unlike you.”

You sniffled, quickly wiping at your face. “I’m fine,” you lied, though your broken voice betrayed you.

Aventurine tilted his head, his hair catching the moonlight. “You don’t look fine, darling. And I don’t like hearing you cry.” He stepped into the room, crossing the space between you in a few strides before kneeling in front of you. He reached out, but his touch was tentative, giving you space.

You hesitated but eventually let the words spill out. “I had to leave again. Another friend, another group… It keeps happening. And I just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why am I always the one who ends up alone?”

Your voice cracked, and tears welled up again. Aventurine reached out, this time cupping your hands in his gloved ones. His expression softened, his usual flamboyant charm replaced with a rare sincerity.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Listen to me. This—what you’re feeling—it’s not because you’re flawed. People come and go in life for a thousand reasons. Sometimes, it’s not about you at all. And sometimes… people just don’t see the brilliance that’s right in front of them.”

You shook your head, your doubts still gnawing at you. “But what if it is me? What if I’m too much? Or not enough?”

Aventurine gave a small, sad smile and squeezed your hands. “You’re enough. And anyone who makes you feel otherwise doesn’t deserve you in their life.” His eyes gleamed, his usual playful confidence creeping back in. “Besides, have you considered that maybe you’re just too fabulous for them to handle?”

Despite yourself, a faint chuckle escaped your lips, and Aventurine’s smile widened. “There we go. That’s better. Now,” he said, sitting beside you and throwing a casual arm over your shoulder, “let me make one thing clear. I’m not going anywhere. I’m stubborn like that. You’re stuck with me, darling.”

You leaned against him, letting his warmth and words sink in. For the first time that night, the weight on your chest eased, just a little.

Dan Heng stood outside your room on the Astral Express. He’d been walking by when he heard the faint sound of crying. At first, he thought it best to give you space, but his worry won out. Quietly, he knocked on the door.

“Come in.” you said, your voice weak.

Dan Heng stepped inside, his eyes scanning the room before landing on you. You sat curled up on your bed, clutching a blanket tightly.

“I heard you,” he said simply, standing a short distance away. “Are you… okay?”

You shook your head, and Dan Heng took a cautious step closer. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You hesitated before nodding, your voice trembling as you spoke. “I’ve had to leave my friends again. I feel like I ruin everything. Like I’m the problem.”

Dan Heng was silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then he sat on the edge of the bed, his posture calm and unthreatening. “I don’t believe that. You care deeply about others—that much is clear to anyone who knows you. Losing people hurts, but it doesn’t mean you’re to blame.”

Tears streamed down your face. “But it keeps happening. How can it not be my fault?”

Dan Heng looked at you with quiet intensity. “Because sometimes, people grow apart. Or circumstances force things to change. It’s painful, but it’s not always within your control.” His voice softened. “You don’t have to carry all that blame alone. And you don’t have to worry about me leaving. I’ll stay by your side, no matter what.”

His words settled over you like a soothing balm, and you felt yourself relax slightly. Dan Heng reached out, his hand hovering before gently resting it on yours. “Take your time,” he said. “I’m here.”

And you believed him.

[hambiichu]

LOVE FOR HIS FAMILY

------

With a pink skirt, a tiara on his head, hello kitty hair pins and false butterfly wings on his back, Levi sat with his three daughters. His face was smudged with makeup that his girls tried to make him more... amiable to their tea party.

You already go to work early, and the station's cases are becoming more and more difficult to solve without your clever thinking and diligent efforts to apprehend these criminals and put them behind bars. Levi, your sweet, gentle, and stoic husband, must stay with the girls today. Fortunately, you and he have a flexible schedule that allows you to alternate watching over them.

Being the strongest man and the nation's alleged rescuer of humanity police, Levi was extremely appreciative of the flexible schedule. He doesn't want it to happen again, as both of your schedule before wasn't flexible enough throughout your pregnancy, you and him would frequently argue, toss things, and use harsh language against one another. Days and weeks would pass without neither of you break the ice.

It was a mistake, in his opinion, to have a family immediately after marriage without any planning and under the strain of his job. He still feels regret for those things, despite the fact that everything is now stable and tranquil. He constantly makes reparations for you—not because he regrets anything, but rather because he loves and cares about you. You are his wife, his passion in life, and the person who softens his cold heart.

You claimed that it's all in the past, that it's okay, and that not all relationships are ideal. In addition to being more critical of his words and behaviour, he should have greater empathy for the circumstances.

He abruptly stopped thinking and turned to face his daughter, who shares your eyes, yet she has pale skin and black hair like Levi, "Papa, would you like another tea?" she asked.

With a nod, he extended his hand and gently grasped the teacup. She poured his teacup into a fictitious pot of hot water while humming proudly and creating a whooshing motion with her arms. Levi puts it to his lips and pretends to sample the flavour of the so-called honey his girls created by making slurping sounds with his pinky finger extended and licking his lips.

"Mmm. Delicious." He smiles as he watches his girls laugh and giggle with joy. As he looks at them, he muses that perhaps he should concentrate more on the present since he thinks about the past too frequently.

Ultimately, he has the family he always desired, and your unwavering support is what he had always wanted as a partner and a husband. He promised himself he would learn from the past and move on, not dwell on it any longer.

He had all he desired at this moment, and he asked himself why he still holds onto the past. Even though he is aware of his sins, he understands that he has changed for you and the girls and is no more the same man he was before.

Not a moment long, you came home and stopped as you almost let out a snort to see Levi dressed up.

"Dont laugh." Levi's eye twitch.

"I'm not! Did they really use that much makeup?" you ask, grinning, shaking your head as you kneel down to your girls approaching you as soon as they notice you've returned home.

"Mama!" They say in unison.

Levi's face warm at the sight, the past may hurt but he's happy where he is now.

-----

This had been in my draft last month so Id been thinking of writing father Levi.

[cxcewg]

two pretty best friends

pairing: charles leclerc x model!portuguese!brunette!reader type: social media au author’s note: i saw this reel of charles and pierre and i was like these two would be absolute simps for their girlfriends and i absolutely adore kika so... here we are. obviously i had to make osme changes to the timeline of kika and pierre's relationship reader is naturally brunette btw (she has highlights) which she clarifies (because uh i couldnt find consistent photos) nothing is factual 😘 warnings: badly translated portuguese (feel free to correct) masterlist

liked by francisca.cgomes, pierregasly and 34,712 others

yourusername i dont need anyone but her 😘

tagged francisca.cgomes

view all 829 coments

francisca.cgomes 😘

ashlypower yall is that pierre in that second pic? 

lando.4norriss liked by pierre gasly wtf?

liked by pierregasly lando.4norriss 💀 ashlypower hes in the 2nd pic i think

liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 27,813 others

yourusername porto we loved you (though im sure kika particularly had a good time)

tagged francisca.cgomes

view all 901 coments

francisca.cgomes sim eu fiz 😘yes i did

yourusername 😌

username gorgeous

charles_leclerc belle pretty

this comment has been deleted

joij.2001 i cant be the only one who saw that comment

ellasbestie i got a screenshot 👌 joij.2001 i love you dm me it

kikagomesstyles we got charles lurking in the likes lmao

kikagomesstyles and the comments too sonotright hes probably in love with her too ynssource get in line charles she’s mine

cantstoppen1 new wag alert?

ynswifey98 nah there’s absolutely no way lmao she’s way too good for them

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 101,068 others

francisca.cgomes minha irmã de outra mãe my sister from another mother

tagged yourusername

view all 1,729 comments

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

yourusername te amo love you

team_yuki are you and pierre dating?

likedbypierregasly LIKED BY PIERRE GASLY

ynstyles.s definition of ride or die besties

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and 494,185 others

francisca.cgomes ❤️

tagged pierregasly

view 12,890 comments

pierregasly ❤️

yourusername so much fun thirdwheeling 🙄

yourusername só estou brincando eu te amo im just kidding i love you yourusername your little boyfriend wont steal you away from me francisca.cgomes 😘te amo melhor amiga love you bestie francisca.cgomes você teve charles você está bem 😂you had charles you are fine

f1gossxp.1 shes so pretty omg

elliesheartt pierre can you fight?

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and 74,190 others

yourusername she's everything and he's just pierre

tagged pierregasly, francisca.cgomes

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pierregasly glad to know that you like me so much

yourusername just protective over my girl yourusername i want you to know that im a very skilled martial artist francisca.cgomes by that she means she went to 1 class when she was 10 years old pierregasly charles come get your girl this comment has been deleted joij.2001 please tell me someone got a screenshot of that- ellasbestie I GOTCHU GIRL joij.2001 MY SAVIOR IS HERE

yourusername im just kidding everyone i love them so much together

yourusername but anyways you make kika happy so i like you for her

anniern9 i love their friendship so much

f1wagsig 🚨 new wag alert! learn about francisca (kika) gomes from the link in our bio 🚨 

tifosiiif1 pierre can you fight?

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and 305,938 others

yourusername amazing to model for l’officiel italia with this guy. thank you 😘

tagged lofficielhommesitalia, charles_leclerc

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francisca.cgomes 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

francisca.cgomes 😉

leclerccnews kika-

emyprks id let her run me over with her car 😭

nici.2020 her and charles modeling together POWER COUPLE DAMN

pierregasly.news1 yn with highlights 😭i love it so much

ynfashion its getting hot in here 🥵

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, and 894,104 others

charles_leclerc black & white. thank you lofficielhommesitalia

tagged lofficielhommesitalia, yourusername

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pierregasly im sure you had fun 😉

sonotright oh my god pierre

yourusername ❤️

liked by charles_leclerc chrles.leclerc ok girl chrles.leclerc she shooting her shot

justeeeneedits watch them get together im calling it

chrlsleclerc16 hes so pretty omfg

liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes and 74,190 others

yourusername days like these

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patrici.a05 who took the photo?

francisca.cgomes meu melhor amiga 😘 my best friend

gaslyyyy10 isnt she blonde?

yourusername nah im naturally brunette ❤️

charles_leclerc photo creds?

yourusername 📸charles_leclerc yourusername happy? charles_leclerc very patrici.a05 i guess my question was answered 💀

charles_leclerc if i get a podium this weekend will you come to the next race?

yourusername you drive for ferrari its not happening yourusername but sure why not

angiespamms shes annoying

ynsangel shut up bitch

liked by scuderiaferrari, pascale.leclerc.355, and 781,912 others

charles_leclerc Third in the main race today. Nothing we could have done more. Thank you for the support and see you in Miami 🇺🇸

view all 7,831 comments

yourusername im a woman of my word

charles_leclerc check your email ynsangel OH MY GOD YALL ynsangel AAAAAAAA charlos.1655 lmao he really wanted her to come to miami he somehow fixed ferraris strategy and car

alexbenett01 the depression has been lifted!!

danithehoneybadger we owe yn our lives thank you queen for getting charles's shit together for us 😘

liked by yourusername danithehoneybadger OMG SHE LIKED I LOVE YOU 😭

scuderiaferrarifanclub FORZA FERRARI

mitchel01 so proud of you charles ❤️

cjacobs9 lord perceval >>>>

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe, and 106,284 others

yourusername thank you so much to the scuderia! miami you were amazing 😚

tagged scuderia_ferrari, charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes

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charles_leclerc hope you had fun!

yourusername i sure did

lilymhe ❤️

liked by yourusername

carlossainz55 great to finally meet the girl charles talks about all the time

liked by yourusername cl.charles16 damn carlos really just exposed charles

cnrles_leclerc i can feel the sparks flying omg

gaslynews1 charlie boy has rizz damnnnn

osclo_f1 are they dating?

depressionandcars probably depressionandcars but no confirmation

liked by landonorris, arthur_leclerc, and 1,205,852 others

yourusername im in it for forever, are you? 😘

tagged charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc para sempre ❤️ for forever

maxverstappen1 simp

charles_leclerc meu ajinho my angel

maggie.levine06 THIS WAS NOT ON MY 2023BINGO CARD

landonorris disgusting

yourusername hater

francisca.cgomes 😭my girlie is growing up

yourusername girl im 24 pierregasly you act like you're 13

justeeeneedits CALELD IT WHAT DID I TELL YOU GUYS

justeeeneedits I AM LEGIT PSYCHIC oscarpastry81 dont let your head get too big

the.emily bi panic who?!

spamsclyde fr i cant decide if i wanna be her or with her

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 1,295,923 others

charles_leclerc Minha estrela. my star

tagged yourusername

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yourusername mon amour 🥰my love

elise.percoff im crying this is to o cute

elise.percoff i camtnn see my svreen

francisca.cgomes take good care of my girl

charles_leclerc always lestappenn they're so cute 😭

pierregasly someones learning portuguese to impress the inlaws

charles_leclerc tais toi, hypocrite shut up forza.f1 HELP this is so cute tbh eliz.foods i feel so single rn ;-;

pierrregasly you make me sick haha

charles_leclerc your fault

amie44 where can i get a charles

yourusername sorry hes mine but you can always look online 😚 amie44 💀

yourfriend i've never felt more single

landonorris you free this weekend? norizzlando LANDO 😭

requests are open (and encouraged) 😘- BUT charles/lando/oscar requests will receive priority for the moment being 😊(feel free to be a bit specific or as unspecific as you want, i just want a feel for what everyone wants me to write)

also send me recs in gen (obviously f1 fanfics are also accepted haha) cuz im a sucker for a good read

[critterbitter]

HELLO HI ID LIKE TO ASK WHAT PROGRAM AND BRUSHES YOU USE CUZ IM LITTERALY EXPLODING EVERYTIME I SEE YOUR ART

actually actually... *pulls out whole stack of paper*...I have. a FEW,, a good few,, questions to ask. they are not many I swear 😇

OK SO FIRST OF ALL HOW DO YOU DRAW SO FAST???? everyday I log onto Tumblr I always see something new from you and I get very very happy. But then I start to question my own existence because not even I CAN SPEED RUN ART LIKE THAT. AND SO SPECTACULARLY TOO

Last question! how do you color and make it look so well?? just. How. I need to know. This is a CRY FOR HE-

anyway thank you for being one of my favorite artists that always feed my brain rot, pls keep making amazing art because like a little yamper I will follow behind and stay updated.

(Stands there)

Response and thoughts under cut!

First question! What art program I use!

Mostly procreate, along with a handful of brushes! (Specifically the Jing Set and some custom stuff, which is really just a circle brush with the shape changed to a square.)

Second question! How do i draw so much!

Okay so. I am. Ahhah. Unemployed,,,,? No, I do freelance illustration, but hmm. A studio job would be nice.

i graduated college last year and I’m very used to eight hour art shifts. The body sort of remembers to keep working, even though I no longer have storyboards or visdev homework to do.

Also. The hyperfixation is a deep vast tunnel I STILL have not seen the end of the light to, good golly. (I have dreams now about the kids committing shenanigan crimes. I wake up in cold sweat and write them down in a journal. It’s like being the mouthpiece to an angry god.)

So the overall gist is: I was trained to be a storyboard artist with a visdev background, and I’m using that higher education to draw funny muppets because my brain’s funny.

I also DO have a queue, and I’ve been treating this as a sort of inktober project. I am definitely going to slow down soon though! Maybe. Hopefully. Ah… (sheepishly drops my kofi here)

Third question! How do i color!

I. I, uh. I dont know man the coloring demons have a grip on my soul and i just go along for the ride. But also, if it helps, i prefer to limit my pallets to only a few colors at a time. Lighting is king, so if you can figure out if you want to focus on either on your lights or shadows, you’ll have a much easier time composing. That, and symbolic colors— idk, something hits different about art drenched in gold with a tiny hint of a man staring into the blinding horizon, or a green leafy environment with a single dot of artificial red. I also like using blue and purple for shadows, and I’m a big fan of muting colors with only one or two that pop— one of the reasons why I was so attracted to submas in the first place is because from a design aesthetic, they’re both super funny muppet men AND really cool train guys that have a limited pallet and thematic apparel.

Overall response! THANK YOU SO MUCH. This goes out to a BUNCH of people who sent me inbox queries— sorry for not responding, it’s a tad overwhelming because some of them are story questions even I don’t really know will go yet, and others are words of praise and I’m selfish and like scrolling through the inbox to look at them when I feel down. I am more of an artist who sits in the corner and sprouts like a potato rather then a branching vine who socializes, but I really do see people’s responses and they make me go :)))))

Okay ramble over. Thanks for coming to the soapbox, and good luck on creating!

[dunmeshi-darlings]

Hello

Can I request a laios x reader, with the reader as laios ex-fiance, since their arrangements was broken off when he ran away without explanation reader have been sad and mad about it. But then someday laios mother told reader about laios become a new king after defeating a demon, reader decided to go there, because reader want to know why he ran away

I'm sorry if this is difficult to understand, English is not my first language, thank youuu

Oh you got no need to apologize its all ok. i understand what you meant. id be happy to do this. thank you so much for sending an imagine in.

Even though its been many years since laios cut off the arrangement and disappeared you still found yourself getting upset at him. He just cancelled it all and ran off to not be heard from again.

Of course over the years that anger and frustration faded greatly but every so often your mind would wander and you would feel your cheeks heat up at the thought of being abandoned like that. but over all you figure it was probably for the best anyway, you dont mind your life and that touden was always...strange to say the least even if he was a looker.

One day though as you are going about your day when laios mother approaches you, asking if she can come in. You agree and let her inside, despite your feelings about laios you had no bad blood with her. you get the both of you some tea as she starts speaking. "Did you hear about the rise of the golden kingdom?" she asks, you nod and say of course you had. it had been the talk of the entire world ever since it rose up out of the sea, seemingly out of nowhere one day. Apparently some group of adventurers defeated the mad mage and seemed like those rumors about becoming the new leader of it was true. You say casually as you take a sip of some tea. "yeah well apparently Laios was the one that defeated the mage and rules the golden kingdom now." she says so casually causing you to spit all the tea you were drinking out, shouting in confusion you ask her if you heard that right? she nods and explains what she had been told from letters from falin, you knew that falin had stayed in touch with there parents but laios had apparently cut them off a decade ago much to your surprise.

You decide to pay a visit, you feel like you almost HAVE to. you need to know why he just left you like that, why he did what he did all those years ago. It took you a bit to get to the new golden kingdom, laios definitely had travelled a far distance since your last time you saw him. By the time you reach the kingdom a full month has passed, you ask the guards to message the king telling him that "Y/N from his arranged marriage wanted to see him." of course you werent sure he would even respond, i mean why would he. he didnt want to marry you obviously so why should he care about seeing you, especially now that he is a KING of all things. However you were surprised when the guard came back and agreed to take you to the king.

When you entered you saw him sitting on a throne. To his left you see a young elf woman with twin braids beside him, This must have been his royal advisor maybe? you werent sure. However you did notice his sister beside her chatting with her...except she was different, she wasnt a tall man anymore..atleast not fully. you noticed a plume of fluffy white feathers poking out of the opening on her chest and down her arms. It was clear she had been changed by some form of magic.

As you walk closer laios asks if everyone can leave the room for a moment, he wants to talk privately with you as they agree and leave leaving only you and him. "So Y/N, how have things been?" He asks awkwardly, its clear he is uncomftorable and doesnt know what to say. You had thought of the things you would say to him for years now, over and over you had gone over in your head what you were going to say to the man that just up and left you like that. you would be furious and scream, sob and cry, all the words you planned to say just dissapear and all you can say is a single word. "why.."

He sighs as he rubs his neck and begins to explain, He tells you how he had began to despise his parents for how they let falin be treated, and how instead of supporting her and her talents they sent her away to the magic school on a different continent. He had grown to hate his parents (more so his father but he had no fond feelings towards his mother either) even though falin kept in contact with them. He also explained how he never felt comfortable around people, that he had always felt more comfortable around monsters...and that in truth he hated people. Plus he admits he wasnt the richest person in the world so would have been able to give you a proper dowry. All of these together made him feel like he wouldnt have been able to give you the life you deserved, he didnt want you to be stuck with a man that hated everyone around him and hated where he lived and wanted to leave and get as far away as he could. He figured that wasnt fair to you, and he didnt know how to properly convey this and let you down easily so...he ran.

The weight of his words hit you harder than you expected...all this time you thought he just didnt like you or hated you ever, or he didnt care about you at all. All this time you hated him for what he did and that you swore you would get answers one day...but these werent the answers you were expected. It would have been so easy to continue to be mad at him, if he said he just didnt like you or hated you that would have been fine..you expected it at this point, but no...he did this because he didnt want to subject you to a miserable life with him..he knew you would be miserable with him if he had stayed there and he didnt want to put you through that...god this was so much harder than you were expecting. "You know....now that im king of the golden kingdom money isnt an issue..and ive made sure the kingdom is a kind place that treats everyone with kindness." you see him slump down a bit. "and since monsters come nowhere near the kingdom...if you want, we can get to know each other better..and see how we feel about each other then?" he says softly, damn that man he was a looker. you sigh, almost relieved its turned out that way. saying you would like that

[ganondoodle]

so, after this phase of depression, i am back at too many ideas at once and getting overwhelmed by all of it bc i cant do it all and dont know how to decide which one to focus on or which ones actually good and not just a brainfart

(so, some more botw2/totk rewritten ideas-

mostly text but i am unsure what to actually work on and draw or if its even any good, so id be very happy to hear your opinion on some of this qoq)

-was thinking about designing the sonau even though they might not show up physically, to keep their mystery alive, but i am playing with the idea of a dead one preserved in crystal in a larger cave, perhaps their last stronghold, i like the thought of them being rather small monkey like creatures with long tails that end in a light fern looking thing

--been also thinking more about the ancient queen zeldas and ganondorfs relationship bc i feel its compelling for them to have had a much more personal grudge agaisnt each other than i previously planned, gives more weight to everything-

though it is mostly background stuff that is not directly shown in the game, except for environmental storytelling -which botw was pretty good at- and diary entries you can discover (perhaps finding it and then telling riju and a gerudo researcher about it since it would be in ancient script zelda hadnt encountered before?), current thought was to have there be a secret lair that one of ganondorfs daughters used to live in after the sealing disaster sent both kingdoms into conflict, and with their mother dying in battle the eldest daughter would surrender and agree to whatever the princess of hyrule demanded, while the younger one would not bow down and those that followed her split off to live in the gerudo highlands, like another reoccuring theme with this being the prescursor to what happens with the shiekah and yiga later- of those are none left by this time (or should there?) and the diary of the younger daughter talks about her fathers secret hideout having being sealed shut as a sign of respect- it is inaccessible due to the structures beign damaged, but its serving as a hint there will be more; it will be made accessible after the mid game fight with ganondorf, in which you see the scene of the sealing, and he changes his position from hyrule castle that fell into the underground to the innards of the plateau- that being the final dungeon- in his room, might also be a part of his diary, at least from his younger days, and a bracelet of obviously hyrulian origin, which is meant to imply-

that the ancient queen zelda and him were in love once when they were both younger, though neither really acted on it (noble families pressures and conflictions yippie) until it was decided she would be married to a young knight of a noble hyrulian family, as it had been per tradition, after which they would not be able to visit each other anymore in the way they sued to as her father wanted her to prepare to take the throne and was way more strict than before, with one last meeting in that secret chamber and her leaving a bracelet there as a gift-

now heres the problem i ran into, that they had feelings for each other and used to be very close, as well as both having their own families later on is pretty solid and i want to keep all that but i also randomly thought about weaving the drama further (in that noble families kind of way especially, though again this would only be mentioned in his diary entry from the secret room you unlock, and since his younger daughter doesnt mention anything at all save for makign a point about not rummaging through her late fathers things out of her deep respect for him, its pretty clear she didnt know and neither did anyone else except for ganondorf himself and perhaps his mothers, this is all meant to make all of these characters have more depth even with getting little to literal no screentime, not to be a big focus)- so there was the stray idea of the ancient queen having a daughter 'just' after being married to that hyrulian knight.. and it being obviously not his, but gerudo, as gerudo traits are rather dominant(i think?) and the knight and ganondorf look nothing alike, so to avoid any sort of royal disaster that daughter would be secretly given to ganondorf to raise instead (which he would gladly do), and the official story being it was stillborn (the whole thing being worked out by a few maids sworn loyally to their queen .. im torn about the queen herself knowing or not tbh or if that even matters in the grand scheme of things (though i do like the idea of her knowing but acting like it is nothing to live up to being a wise and proud queen now thats shes under that pressure, she would change alot during her time of reign, going from that more typical unsure of herself but trying her best princess to a self confident cold and calculating queen, maybe he could even make a short remark about it), again this is still just vaguely implied background details most wouldnt even find out about, i just .. like to think about the background of things that make sense and give more weight to it all but arent what it revolves around and its neither essential to know, might as well be one of those things people would likely hear about in youtube videos)

i didnt find or dont know if theres any rule that princess zelda cant have siblings (i think she had a brother once but idk that may be different about sisters is the question) bc ganondorfs older daughter then not awakening any special (zelda reserved) powers could be simply bc she wasnt trained to do so (perhaps she would be able to hear things like zeldas often do but that too being only mentioned offhand) and him just not putting any focus on royal hyrulian traditions, it could be a secret rite too and honestly .. why would he try to train her to be the traditional princess of hyrule, awakening powers that are reserved for the hyrulian royals would make everything go haywire in terms of the secret about her mother, though im worried it would seem like her being gerudo is seen as 'tainted' instead, like she isnt a 'real' or 'pure' zelda and that being the reason, which somethign i do not like at all

either way that second part is purely an idea that i am 50/50 about using since its really not a big deal in the end and ultimately doesnt change much except make their relationship a bit more messier

---ahem, anyway, i also decided i wanted to model most sky islands after this one photo in my collection since it looks cool and would make sense to have these island be worn down by constant winds

---- i also want to flood the tabantha canyon with the forgotten temple and considered actually breaking of some pieces of landmass, like it is now a giant island, imagine akkala a kilometer away from the mainland for example, it wouldnt inherently change much about the structure but it would make it feel alot more different and provide good ground for different kinds of interactions since the people there would need to adjust to that, you can melt ice around the riot region easier than you can reattach a broken off giant piece of land after all

[hairscare]

If this is too personal honestly delete this ask id hate to make anyone uncomfortable💔

I was just wondering how you go about acquiring a qpp😭? Did you ask your friend to be best friends one day orrr did it jus happen and only later u decided to label it? Again was just curious abt aroace dynamics but no worries if this is too private love ur stuff ❤️

no worries im always happy to talk about my aroace experiences :) my honest advice is not to look for one. i know that sounds crazy but bear with me. if you approach every friendship with the lens of "can i make this into a commitment" youre only going to put weird pressures on yourself that will limit your capacity in the friendship. in my experience its something that has to happen on its own. not every close friendship has the potential to be one! i think people tend to be very eager to turn any relationship they find meaningful into something more than friendship so that they can justify its importance- escaping that mindset is very important!

now in my experience, we had already been "special friends" as we call it for two years before we decided to a qpr. basically we were best friends who felt a special connection to one another but we werent in a relationship. this is another important thing to emphasize: youre not in a qpr without all parties explicitly agreeing to it. a close platonic connection does not immediately equate a qpr. our relationship has been exactly the same for 2+ years, but it was only when we both agreed to be in a qpr that we actually were in one. i dont value our time pre-qpr any less than i do our current relationship as its the same connection its just that now theres more commitment involved

neither of us actually wanted to be in a qpr beforehand. id had a very bad experience with relationships beforehand, and i really never saw myself entering one after that. id even been in an 11 hour "qpr" that i broke off because i found it to be way to much unnecessary pressure with someone that i just wanted to be my friend. the qpr feeling absolutely wasnt there. aspen on the other hand didnt understand how qprs worked and so didnt want one. wed had an ex friend of ours (who was allo might i add) desperately try to push us into a qpr together but we both pushed back at the idea. you cant force it, and you DEFINITELY cant force it to happen out of the allonormative expectation that everyone needs a relationship to be fulfilled.

when we did finally change our minds, it was on our terms. aspen figured out what a qpr is and realized that he did want a committed friend, and i realized that i wanted to spend my life with him, so when he told me about his sudden change in perspective i immediately said id like to be that person for him. really the only thing that has changed since then is our future plans, we still act exactly the same with each other. of course if youve been here long enough you know that we do sometimes have a bit of difficulty trying to label each other when talking to others. sometimes i call him my roommate even though were on opposite sides of the country right now, sometimes i call him my boyfriend at the risk of someone misunderstanding it as an allo situation, sometimes hes my best friend (feels a bit watered down but whatever), sometimes i call him my boygirl (this one works well since its kind of unclear what it means), and of course my special friend is the most accurate but it doesnt make much sense to people who dont know us. sometimes he calls me his ghoulfriend and i really like that one

the best analogy i can really give for how a qpr feels is like bonded animals you see on petfinder that have to be adopted together. you cant force animals to be bonded, it just happens. its like that. hope this helps!

[ravewing]

honestly after rereading arc 2 ive realized that ive come to like the idea of qinter than the actual canon version of it.

like at the end of the day ive been a qinter fan since i was in third grade so of course im going to be biased towards it and itll always hold a special place in my heart but i must say that a lot of their canon interactions were just qibli making jabs at winter to a point where it sort of seemed like he didn't like it anymore?? if that makes sense?? dont get me wrong i love the sunshine x grumpy dynamic but with them idk.

i cant lie i feel like the entire jade winglet completely cut winter off and they were always against him even though literally he was completely justified in pretty much everything he did?? like im sorry but him going to save hailstorm (HIS BROTHER THAT HE THOUGHT WAS DEAD FOR YEARS) rather than going to look for the ancient nightwing who has killed hundreds of his tribe was perfectly reasonable. the vase scene was completely reasonable (could you imagine YOUR best friends defending the man who put you under a spell and wanted to commit genocide on your people and wipe them out entirely?? id be pissed as hell). to an extent, winter being suspicious about moon and the cave explosion was reasonable (i do agree that he came off as very aggressive in that, but at the same time you have to see things from his point of view. how WOULD she have known about the bomb?? not to mention how hes been conditioned and indoctrinated to distrust nightwings).

i feel like qibli especially comes at winter for these things and tells him that hes wrong for it and that hes being toxic even though hes LITERALLY NOT. and the whole thing with him saying that if he had animus magic that he would change winter's personality always rubbed me the wrong way. i feel like toxic is too strong of a word but i dont think that theyd be necessarily healthy together, not until theyve matured a little more and have found better ways to cope with their past traumas instead of repressing it and putting on this charming guy who makes jabs at people persona or taking it out on other people through anger and frustration.

in all honesty i feel like tui shouldve gone with moon not making a choice in the qibli/winter/moon love triangle to sort of show that you dont need to be with someone to be happy and that its okay to stay as just friends– icl, thats how i thought that it was going to end when i first read arc 2. i feel as though moonbli was a little rushed, and i do like the idea of winterwatcher (just like i do with qinter) but i dont think that he's emotionally ready for a relationship. also this is unrelated but when initially reading book 6 i thought that moon was going to end up with turtle; ive always thought that theyd be cute together lol.

im thinking about it now and i really like the idea of turtle and winter but i cant for the life of me remember if theyve ever had any one on one interactions. if theres anything please can someone send in reblogs ..

im getting off topic now so tldr i like the version of qinter that exists in my head but i feel like they shouldnt be together in canon, not at least until they sort out their own issues.

[moonydoodlez]

i dont even know how to ask this because i just want one thing well two actually u change my mind alastor without his jacket all messy like (you know what i mean) AND HIS HAIR UP IN A LITTLE PONYTAIL OR BUN IDC IDK ITS JUST UP AND IM DROOLING

Im gonna eat you

Pairing: Alastor x F!reader

Warnings: the only warning is the fact that i wrote this at 3 am so enough said.. but also there lowkey really horny...

Wordcount: 524

Note: Eveytime i see art of this man with his hair up lord have mercy.. id devour him actually.

You have known Alastor for a long time now. You had met him while you were both still alive. Although there were bans on alcohol at the time, you were able to sneak your way into a speakeasy. You sat at the damp gross bar waiting for the man to serve you. Of course being a woman he took his sweet time before ever asking you what you’d like. However a tall slender man walked up to you. He was wearing all red and wore a smirk that seemed to never leave his lips. After a night of drinking and doing things a lady shouldn't have done you went home fulfilled… and filled. To your dismay never seeing the man again.

That was until you ended up in hell for a cute murdering spree or whatever. You walked around aimlessly before bumping into two girls by accident. The girl with long blonde hair apologized frantically which just made you stare at her annoyed. You hated overly happy people. Of course the happy girl asked you to her hotel in which you totally thought she was trying to have a threesome, but really she was just being nice.

After months of living in this hotel and ‘trying’ to get better so you could be redeemed. Which you thought was a load of bullshit because why would you wanna get better when you're already better than everyone. During those months though you had gotten very close to Alastor. You had spent many nights with him, not always of sexual nature of course. 

One morning though you woke up and you quickly realized he was gone from your bed. Which wasn’t normal usually after being with you he wanted to be as close as possible. You looked around the room to see if maybe he just decided not to sit on the bed. Your eyes widened as he came out of the bathroom with no shirt on and just pants. To make matters worse he had his hair in a little ponytail. His hair wasn’t quite long enough to have all his hair up so there were little bits sticking off the side and sticking out from under where it was pulled up. You stared at him like you could have devoured him right in that moment.

“What” His staticy voice broke you out of your thoughts. He slowly walked toward you, joining you in bed again. He began talking about god knows what but you could focus on his hair at this moment.

“This is new” You say, interrupting him, reaching your hand up to his hair. “Very hot” You breath heavily watching him, watching how he sat there so slutty without even realizing.

His head whipped to you as he realized how you were ogling him like some object. “You think?” He whispered sultrily as his hand came up to grip your throat. 

You let out a whimper as he brings your face to his before kissing you slowly. So slow it almost hurt how badly you wanted him at that moment. You were aching for his attention, attention only he could ever give you.

Masterlist Alastor Masterlist

[wonik1ss]

౨ৎ the enemie to lover ! — winter kim

pairing — non idol!winter x reader song rec : dreamer - lauvey + happy ending - kep1er ( 1.5k ) warnings ! none ᯤ ^ ㅇ ^ happy reading ! ⸝⸝・ᘏᘏ

synopsis : on a fateful Wednesday afternoon 2 people cut ties with you. but with cupid on your side you have 2 different paths to take to hopefully get back together with these 42 people by Valentine’s Day end! val event !

Not believing you traveled back in time you didn’t use your time.. wisely. The first week you spent actually studying for the test that nipped you in the but. Now it was the day you auditioned

“Maybe I should have taken Chaewon’s advice”. As your scratched your head and turned around from your mirror you jumped.

“THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?”

“Oh well.. to your mom I’m some young cleaning lady.. for you I’m giving you a make over”. Pink shirt, pink apron and pink gloves and duster were gone in a snap of a finger. Wonyoung changed into a magician’s assistant outfit and spun you around.

“Time to work my magic..”. Wonyoungs smile dropped as she smelled your head. Thirty minutes later, and thirty time begging Wonyoung to throw out your whole closest plus reminding her you have a uniform later.

You stood infront of your mirror actually smiling. Wonyoung and adorned you with a few bracelets, a black thin bow and a pink id?

“Are y-“

“Ya.. stopped by earlier to brighten up Mr. Lee’s day with his girlfriend actually calling him first”. You pushed down your laughter and grabbed your bag.

“Remember! Eye on the prize! You don’t have a lot of time”. Wonyoung rolled her eyes.

“Thank you master Wonyoung! Let’s hope this id doesn’t get lost~”. As you bowed and winked at the pink girl she yelped.

“DONT YOU DARE!”. You could still hear Wonyoung yelling as you got onto the bus.

You scanned it while biting your lip. Do you sit next to Yeseo.. Eunchae or Danielle. Just as you were about to pick you felt a shove. As you were about to scold the person Winter walked by and glared at you. You went pale, and with the bus driver on your as you sat down next to her. How did she audition for the play.. turned film?

“Could you like not stare at me.. creep”

“You didn’t whisper that last part..”. You sighed.

“Wasn’t trying to”. You were about to bite Winters head off when she plugged in her cord and the bus started to move. How were you going to ‘fall in love’ with her? You bit your nails as the bus came to a stop. You didn’t get a word into Winter and now your pretty pink nails Wonyoung painted were flakes in your mouth.

As you got up and walked out you were to worried to notice you weren’t stepping onto the the sidewalk.

“Fu-!”. You felt.. a.. tie in your face as you looked up. You had plunged into Winters chest. Winter looked bewildered as you stared at her. You fell into Winters chest.. YOU FELL INTO WINTERS CHEST. You got out of the girls arms and ninety degree bowed. The girl made a small laugh..? She didn’t look Irritated at all..

“I’m so sorry I-“

“It’s fine Y/n”

“No like I’m really sorry”

“It’s fine”. Winter grabbed your arms to iterate her words.

“Oh well.. bye then”. You uttered your words and tried to fast walk away from the girl when she grabbed your arm.

“You owe me though”

“But I though-“

“You fell face first into my boobs”. Winter.. the girl looked menacing.. the fuck?

“O..ok?”

“See you in three days.. that’s when the cat cafe’s opens”. Winter proclaimed it would be on you and whispered into your ear.

“I don’t like late people”. She then looked you up and down, and gave you the scariest smile.

“So don’t.. be late..”. Winter picked you cheek and walked into the school. Was it weird that turned you on.. like the finest bit?

You stopped again. You had fallen asleep in your language class and need to run fast to the auditorium for auditions. You tried your best to slide into a seat and go unnoticed. But judge by the teachers scuff she was mad.. and noticed.

“Kim Minjeong.. or Winter”. You gulped as Winter got on stage. She walked straight the the mike and grabbed it of its stand.

“Auditing for..”

“Kei”. The teacher nodded as Winter looked around the room. Your teacher from middle school said it was a good idea to focus on someone or thing when auditioning. Guess she was doing it now. You fiddled with your hands as you finally looked at Winter.

She was looking at you

Your lips slowly parted and you started to play with your hands more. Then Winter started to read her lines. Ya her lines. She was the epitome of beauty up there. She turned from a stoned face killer into a sad teenage girl who just wanted her friend to stop pining after a shit guy. You played with your flimsy skirt to try to distract your self but that didn’t work.

Finally the girl bowed and walked off the stage. You were barely paying attention when your name was called

“Y/n..”. You bowed and ran to the stage.

“Auditioning for..”. The teacher rolled her eyes. Fuck.

“Mei”. You bowed again, and then grabbed the mike. You balled up your hands and stared at the teacher. As you read your lines your fist bald up more. So much that when you ended you could feel something wet in it. The teacher smiled and then as you got off the stage called another name. As you went back to your seat you felt someone’s breath hit your neck.

“Good job.. I hope I.. I get to work with you..”. Winter stopped looming over you and you accidentally gave her a somewhat volatile glared. You then bowed and snapped your head back around to who ever was on stage. Why was she teetering from being nice to mean? Too bad you couldn’t as she practically dashed out the auditorium, and you couldn’t catch up to her. A few days later the announcement that the play was turning into a film was made. It was now Saturday and you were at the towns tracks to practice.

Expect the teacher who had to sub in for the other seeing as she was sick didn’t get that. Every other second she was yelling at Winter. ‘Stop looking dead!’, ‘Is this a joke to you?’, ‘Can’t believe she casted you..’. The sassy man finally gave you a fifteen minute break and you ran to Danielle, Wonhak and Hanni.

“I hope Winters ok..”. Danielle pouted as she bit her lip.

“Why is this man so rude..”. Hanni glared at the teacher as he yelled at poor old Hyein for getting the lighting wrong.

“Heard he’s Mrs. Yu’s husband..”. You gasped.

“The teacher who sad sorry for rolling her eyes the second I left for the audition Mrs. Yu?”. Wonhak sighed and Hanni laughed. You didn’t stay with the long noticing that Winter was gone. So you bid your friends goodbye and walked around the station to find said girl. Was that.. someone wailing?

As you turned the corner you saw Winter sat down legs to her stomach crying. You ran to sit down in-front of her. Oh Wonyoung would be so pissed the white skirt she gave you is in dirt.

“What’s wrong”. As Winter looked up you could tell she started to breathe faster.

“I just want to know why your having this meltdown.. I won’t tell anyone I swear!”. You put your pinky up and immediately regretted it. As you were about to put it down Winter linked her with yours.

“Can.. can you just sit next to me for now..”. You nodded and moved to sit next to the girl. Dusting off your skirt in the process.

“Oh I’m—“

“It’s fine”. You patted your shoulder and Winter tried to crack a smile. She put her head on your and started to sniffle. Looking down at your hands you saw hers inching to yours. You grabbed her hand and sat in silence.

“I think he’s right”. Remember her head was on your shoulder you just tilted your onto hers.

“Who?”

“Mr.. Pang was it.. I think I shouldn’t have gotten the role..”

“What”. You took your head off the girls and jerked it back. You heard a yelp.

“Sorry but your audition was way better than anyone else’s!”. As you looked at the girls face you couldn’t help but pout. She looked like a scared puppy.

“Sorry.. it’s just you did really well there is no reason you shouldn’t have it.. Mr… Yang? Is just jealous you actually have real hair”. Winter laughed.

“So we could all see that he is obviously wearing a toupee?”. You nodded and then she smiled.

“I’m sorry..”

“For what?”

“Being so rude to you..”

“I just-“

“You said your sorry that’s all I need”

Boy were you going to regret that later..

Winter smiled and got closer to you. Like way close.. like you could feel her every breath. As you panicked, she pecked your cheek.

“You so sweet you know-“

“WHERE ARE THE ACTORS ITS BEEN FIFTEEN MINUTES”. You sighed as you both got up. Winter giggled.

“It’s been ten minutes”. You cry out laughing as you both walked back to set. Still holding hands.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

👁️👁️🔂👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️

cringe at myself.....,.....

im aa FOOOOOLLLLLLLL 🫥

Sometimes i think, im a real artist or something..

But whats even real about me? everything i do only exists online

majority of it being on TUNBLR of all places.

fragile fucking tumblr.

my entire life is my imagination and fantasies my entire life is a thoughtform. how can i be a real artist if im barely even a real person in "reality".

not even banishedgirl but intangible girl.

The other day, when i posted about how i want to use the inter net less but im too lonely to stop, i feel it came back to bite me today, in a way i didnt want at all, for the short time my blog was gone, and this brought to my attention, how truly deeply foolish i am

i could disappear so fast like nothing because its all just 👉🧠💭 up here

Even tho my blog is back now. i cant get that feeling off of me. Like yeah there no reason my blog would actually be deleted, unless you know like, tumblr just got discontinued as a website. Which is not an unlikely scenario. i often wonder how long they'll keep paying for these servers. We saw what happened with myspace...

if tumblr was gone, id really be GONE gone

like. i dont exist.

sick to my stomach all day. even if i export my blog and put it on a hard drive ... does it even matter? it literally is not even "matter" it is pixels it is thin air.

How do i be a real girl in the real world

in utena , the "real world" is actually all an illusion. and i believe that to be true for our world too. In a way ive always believed my fantasies and spirits are more real than my body

But i still do want to exist here. i almost have to live in denial about this to stay sane. But i want to exist forever. i want a normal life and friends. i want normal things.. its disgusting.. i feel sick!!!!! im so happy but im so miserable. i love myself but im so insecure. i dont understand anything. i resent fakeness but im fake too. im all just words and space and airy air air

How do i change my life how do i stop yearning to Prove that i exist..... Why do i want to prove it so bad

WHY DID I HAVE TO BE CONFRONTED W THIS TODAY WHAT AM I BEING CALLED TO DO

Like dude i am already going thru it lately. i didnt need any more crisisfuel.

IDK i have to believe its some kind of catalyst to save myself , lest i succumb to the void

it has to show me something i needed to see.

Stuff like this makes me want to disappear in a way that i have total agency over. (Not like in a killing my self way but just in a going away way.) Thats not practical though is it i know thats my evil side talking.

trapped in a sticky web trapped in this glue trap thats what gets me all defiant.

the book im reading rn is from the 70s. i wish i was writing books not posts... i wish i was meeting people in real life the way the author describes in the book. I know the vainly imagined past doesnt hold all the answers either. Good chance i wouldve been institutionalized for woman hysteria or st. But i dont like whats happening here i dont feel natural at all. And its not just me who feels it, clearly.

if only i could be the one who finds comfort in impermenance.

do i accept what im dissatisfied with, do i try to change, or both, or neither?

i am sad

i am existentially disturbed

and i am fucking arrogant 🥴

for wanting to be real.

FUCK!!!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[prlite]

the importance of self-trust, society's obsession with humbling others & why shifting doesnt need to be "proven" for it to be real — a very messy midnight rant.

i feel like every shifter has their first antishifter encounter and instantly feel like theyre insane. youre shouting about your dr and how you heard your s/o whilst trying to shift & someone shows up and goes "🤓 ackshually you have psychosis, DID, schizophrenia, maladaptive daydreaming disorder, npd, aspd, spiritual psychosis...youre a freak, you shouldnt exist here...what a weirdo" and you instantly feel like shit because you were super excited and someone came, threw a bunch of bricks at you and ran off giggling — happy that theyve "humbled" you because you're "weird".

youve never actually talked to this person or even if you have, youve never done anything to them...and your shifting journey and what you believe doesnt do anything to them either...yet theyre so hellbent and focused on humbling you.

why?

ego. well, thats the blanket answer obviously some of these people are just dicks but id argue 99% of the time its an ego thing. seeing someone so happy over something so small, something you dont have to believe in or dont even believe in, seeing them so happy...is wrong because in this world and in this day & age, its not normal and its almost unfair...how can you be free and happy and thriving over silly things instead of suffering like everyone else. once you hit a certain age, youre expected to stomach and simply deal with the way the world is...you cannot change it. why? because youre nobody. you need to simply deal with it, thats the "real world".

but the second you defy that, the second you go against that, the second you decide to change things or believe in things that arent conventional...that arent the "status quote" — youre the crazy one. in a world where water is put behind a price tag and people go into debt for injuries, whats considered crazy and abnormal is simply...you. why arent you sad? why arent you stomaching it like everyone else? why arent you following everyone else? you cant just believe in what you want based on yourself, thats selfishness...you must be selfless but not the selfless where you help others, the selfless where you put down yourself so others feel better.

people love to humble others, because you put down others to put yourself up. you see someone believe in astrology...what a freak, so you go out of your way to bully them...why? because thats just how the world is.

thats the "real world", thats how everyone is...except its not, thats just how these people defend this. people's egos make them feel entitled to other people suffering...because theyve suffered too. "if i have to be treated awfully, so do you! thats how the world works!"

you put so much trust in these people, believing them when they say shifting isnt real...even though theyre just a random person in a sea of billions of other people. that level of trust, should be put in yourself.

there is no stronger weapon than self-trust. the ability to simply know your strengths and proudly show them, not allowing others to push you down so they can be elevated.

you deserve to shift, you deserve everything positive & everything that is aligned with your desires. if others say you dont, would you instantly crumble down & believe them? if so, why?

why are they the spokesperson of your life? who appointed that position?

those who are stuck in the grasps of negativity, drowning themselves in selfhate, will always try to throw others down as they try to pull themselves up...yet youve let someone like that be the spokesperson of your life...the narrator to your story.

this fear of regret, embarrassment, shame...of being wrong...of being the freak and the weirdo...this fear of self-trust...it will do nothing but shackle you to the very place youre trying to leave. its okay to be wrong or make missteps, thats natural...thats human. you dont need to be humbled, or treat yourself like youre this crazy person. all you need is the ability to trust yourself...to trust that youll move forward and continue to go to where you desire; that you know what you want because noone knows you better than you do.

if shifting is real to you...if it feels real...if youve shifted...then you should trust that it is real. someone who doesnt have a degree cannot diagnose you (you cannot daydream asleep, you cannot luciddream awake, you cannot trigger yourself into psychosis, if you were to shift & it was you simply interacting with people here because you were hallucinating and making it all up and youre so "crazy" and "insane"...people would notice & there would be videos spreading of people doing this...like thousands of videos by now — a lot of antishifter stuff is just fancy words being snowballed at you) & someone you dont know shouldnt be the narrator and the voice of reason over what you do with your life.

dont let people who are desperately trying to make others as miserable as them drag you down to the hole that theyre in. trust yourself, they will never know nor understand you. shift & live for yourself, even if its "selfish" & "weird".

prl ✶⋆.˚