#idc what you call yourself it that wasn’t clear just don’t call me that shit

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[redgillan]

Under Pastel Skies - 3

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 2,587

Warnings: none

A/N: I wanted to give Reader a family and this is the easiest way to do it. Btw Peggy’s husband isn’t Steve, I have other plans for him ;) Enjoy!

Wannabe sugar daddies don’t interact, idc if you have money, eat it and leave me be.

The rest of the week went by, and you kept hoping Bucky would come back. You hadn’t seen him since he’d left 300 dollars under his napkin after visiting you at work. You had tucked the bills into your bra, knowing they would be safe there, and walked home at the end of your shift.

Now it was Thursday afternoon and you were craving a day off.

Natasha’s apartment was spacious and the oversized glass window bathed the living room in natural sunlight. The apartment was a gift from Sam. Obviously.

You dropped your purse on the sofa –your bed- and laid out the bills on the coffee table. It was made of marble and brass, another gift from Sam.

You didn’t know what to do with the money, so you took it wherever you went, to keep it safe. You wanted to return it to Bucky. It was too much and you weren’t used to random acts of kindness.

You sunk into the cushion and blew out a sigh as you stared at the money. The persistent vibration of your phone against your thigh pulled you out of your thoughts. Half expecting it to be Natasha, you answered without looking at the caller ID.

The operator told you that Scott Lang was calling from Saint Quentin State Prison, and asked if you would accept the charges. You agreed. You always agreed.

“Splotchy, I need your help.”

Closing your eyes, you let your head fall back against the cushion. “I told you to stop calling me that, Scott.”

It was a silly nickname.

As a child, your mother dubbed you splotchy because of the colourful doodles you painted on the living room walls, and your siblings, who were roughly a few years older than you, had loved using that nickname. Especially since they knew you disliked it.

Their support and endless enthusiasm played a big part in your artistic journey, nurturing that spark into a flame. What started out as a childlike fascination with colours and shapes became your whole life. No one was surprised when you decided to pursue a degree in fine arts.

After the death of her husband, Peggy Carter adopted five children; a little boy from San Francisco, a little girl from Wakanda, twins from Sokovia and a little girl whose birth parents were still in high school. You were the last one, the only one she adopted as a baby.

“Is it offensive to call an artist splotchy?”

“It’s irrelevant. I haven’t painted in months,” you replied. “And we’re not kids anymore, you can use my name.”

“I’ve been calling you Splotchy for so long, I forgot your actual name.”

“You’re so funny,” you deadpanned. “What do you need, Scott?”

Scott’s tone changed suddenly, his voice grew agitated. “I need you to call Maggie. She isn’t picking up when I call her.”

“Scott,” you sighed.

“I haven’t talked to Cassie since her birthday,” he cut you off, pleading. “Please, I just want to talk to my little girl.”

Maggie was Scott’s ex-wife. Six months after his incarceration, she had filed for divorce. Natasha thought it was a real dick move but you didn’t blame Maggie. She was alone, her husband was in jail –for basically being a dumbass although the official charge was embezzlement and destruction of property- and she had a kid to raise.

Maggie wasn’t a saint but she was a good mother, and Cassie was a smart and healthy kid. Now you knew what to do with Bucky’s money.

“I’ll call her,” you said. “Listen, I’m going to put 50 bucks on your book. Buy yourself a bar of soap, I can smell you from here.” Scott interrupted you with a monotone ‘har har’. You chuckled. “I’ll buy Cassie a Christmas gift on your behalf, all right? I think she wanted a bike.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,” he chanted over the phone, his voice muffled as if he was holding the receiver too close to his mouth. “Are you sure you can afford it? I know it isn’t easy for you. Between living in New York and paying for mom’s nursing home, you don’t have to-”

“It’s fine,” you said, cutting off the conversation. “I’m not alone, Okoye helps.”

“And Wanda?”

“She sends postcards from time to time.”

The line went quiet for a moment. “I want to get out of here so bad,” Scott groaned. “Everything’s gone to shit since I went to jail.”

“Everything’s gone to shit since Pietro died, Scott.” You both remained silent, remembering your late brother. Just thinking about him made your eyes start to prickle with tears, so you cleared your throat and ended the call. “I’ll talk to Maggie. You’ll be out soon, just... stay out of trouble. Love you.”

You left your phone on the table and kicked off your shoes before you lay down on the sofa for a well-deserved nap. In your dreams your brothers weren’t either dead or in prison, your mother hadn’t been diagnosed with Alzheimer, and you weren’t a burden to your friend.

If you were lucky enough, you wouldn’t even dream at all.

The next day, Bucky arrived at the hotel at six thirty and you playfully glared at him from across the lounge. He wasn’t stupid, he knew why you were glaring at him. At least he had the decency to look a little sheepish.

“Just so you know, you bought yourself about 30 breakfasts,” you told him, referring to the far-too-generous tip he had left the other day.

“A man’s gotta eat,” he replied with a boyish cockiness that made him look stupidly attractive. You were too flustered to find a good comeback.

You brought him his cup of coffee and let him enjoy his breakfast while you attended to your other clients. It was an unusually busy day, the room was packed with families who were getting ready to explore Manhattan. You didn’t have time to chat with Bucky and he didn’t stay long. You saw him flinch a couple of times; the muscles in his shoulders pulled tight and his eyes darting left and right.

He left another ridiculously generous tip, along with a handwritten note. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day x.

Bucky came back the following week, and even though it was a quiet morning, you made sure to find him a table in a secluded spot. He didn’t notice when you slipped the 300 dollars into the pocket of his coat. You could be pretty sneaky, too.

“Mmmh,” he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin, “I looked at your Instagram.”

“Oh,” you glanced at your shoes, embarrassed. “Wait, you’re on Instagram? I have a hard time imagining you scrolling through your feed.”

He laughed a little. “I’ll admit I’m not as tech savvy as you youngsters, but I’m not a fossil. I use it to look at the pictures my sister post of my niblings.”

“Cute,” you grinned.

“Anyway,” he said, pushing a hand through his hair. “I love your work. It’s very unique; a cross between Impressionism and Post-impressionism. It’s realistic, and yet there’s something different...” his face scrunched up as he tried to look for the right word. “There’s something in your paintings, something that isn’t here in real life but perhaps should be. It’s hard to explain. It’s a feeling, a color, a pattern; it’s indiscernible but it’s there.” He looked up at you, his cheeks red with embarrassment. “I’m not making much sense, am I?”

You blinked, suddenly stunned that someone had such strong opinions about your work. There was nothing but sincerity in his ocean-blue eyes, and for a moment, you were at a loss for words.

“I, um-” you cleared your throat, “Thank you, I didn’t know that. I look up to Monet, obviously. His work is phenomenal, and I also have a soft spot for Van Gogh.” You ran a hand across your face. “Sorry, I’m a little emotional. The people who compliment my art are usually my siblings, and Nat.”

“And now me,” he said with a warm smile. “And soon a lot more people.”

Flustered, you bit your bottom lip. “That would be nice.”

Bucky nodded. He gathered his silverware and set them on his plate, trying to buy time. You watched him hesitate before he turned to you. “I noticed that your last post was from almost a year ago.”

“Yeah,” you said with a casual shrug. “I don’t really paint anymore. I’m too tired when I get home and supplies are expensive.”

“Of course,” he pursed his lips in thought. “Are you free this afternoon? I was wondering if we could meet for coffee.”

You tried not to show your surprise but his words made the sleeping butterflies in your stomach crack an eye open, their interest piqued.

Was he asking you out? He’d come to your workplace every week since your brief ‘date’. He always gave you more-than-generous tips, and he listened to you with a combination of close attention and warmth that made you weak at the knees.

He’d made it clear he wasn’t looking for anyone but maybe he had changed his mind. Agh, down girl! He just wanted a friend.

You looked into his beautiful eyes, seeing a myriad of expressions cross his face before he smiled at you.

“I ain’t gonna hurt you, angel.”

It was an honest lie, just hearing him call you angel felt like a punch to the stomach. The butterflies were dancing around, reborn, and chanting the word ‘date’.

“If you don’t like coffee, we can have tea, or ice cream,” he said, “anything as long as you can sit down with me.”

You snorted. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeated, smiling. “This is my number. Pick a place and I’ll meet you there.”

After breakfast, you closed the restaurant and started cleaning the Lounge. You brought everything back to the kitchen, stacked the dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on. Then you put away the unopened miniature jams, butter and whatnot, and gathered the remaining patisseries and fresh fruits in a basket that you would later bring to the reception.

You worked mechanically. It wasn’t exactly the most exciting job you’d ever had.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky. It was easy to let your mind wander into the cosy and dangerous territory of this being a real date.

You decided to go to the Australian coffee shop near Natasha’s apartment. It was popular but not as crowded as Starbucks, which suited you fine.

After your shift, you removed your uniform and changed into the spare set of clothes you kept in your locker for emergencies. Emergencies being an impromptu date or a night out with Nat. You dug around in your purse for your lipstick; the nice one, the Carter Red as your mother called it.

You dabbed the lipstick on your lips, staining them. You only wore it on special occasions, and you weren’t sure Bucky deserved your full red pout.

You walked to the café with a little pep in your step and a confident smile on your face. The freezing temperature didn’t matter, you were too giddy to care. It was a date, it had to be, why else would he ask you to meet for coffee?  

You smiled when you saw him through the coffee shop window. He was chatting with the waiter as the latter set two mugs on the table.

“Hi again!” You shrugged out of your jacket and took a seat.

“I hope you like hot chocolate. Carl, here, says it’s their best seller,” Bucky said, smiling kindly at the waiter.

“Enjoy, and if you need anything else don’t hesitate to call me.”

You carefully wrapped your cold hands around your mug while you watched Carl walk away. A moment of silence rose between you. Bucky watched you with an unreadable expression, making you fidget in your seat.

“I’m glad you came,” he finally said.

“Me too. I’m a little surprised you asked.”

He looked down at his mug and smiled; it didn’t reach his eyes. “I have something to ask you.” He paused. “The night we met, you said you agreed to see me because being in a... financial relationship felt like the only solution to your problems.”

 Your smile faltered but he didn’t seem to notice. Oh. The butterflies in your stomach fell so suddenly that it felt like carrying a ball of lead. They went back into hibernation.  

“If I had been a decent person and, I don’t know, bought you a drink, talked to you,” he paused, meeting your eyes. “Would you have been interested in this type of relationship? With me, I mean.”

You swallowed hard. “You want to be my sugar daddy.”

It wasn’t a question but a statement. You were slowly realizing that you had been wrong about his intentions. This wasn’t a date, it was a business afternoon tea.

He winced. “Do we really have to call it that? I was thinking mentorship. I can provide financial help, and in exchange you could be my friend.”

“I can be your friend for free,” you said, your throat tightening.

He shrugged, a small smile on his lips. “This way we’ll both get something out of it.”

You looked down at your hands, still wrapped around the mug, and pursed your lips in thought. You felt a sharp tingling sensation in your nose, a sign that you were about to cry. You closed your eyes and clenched your jaw, fighting against the flood that was coming.

You pushed all the emotion down and forced a smile to your face. “Do you mind if I use the restroom? I just took the subway, I’d like to wash my hands.”

Bucky watched you, momentarily stunned by your request. “Of course, take your time,” he quickly recovered.

“Thanks,” you croaked, pushing your chair back.

You picked up your bag and walked to the restroom, your legs feeling like cotton wool. You didn’t need to use the restroom, you had walked to the café, but you needed a moment alone to collect yourself.

A woman came out of the restroom, holding the door open for you. You picked up the pace and thanked her before closing the door behind you. You looked pretty sickly under the artificial light of the restroom. Your eyes were glassy with tears and your red lips were taunting you.

“Got your hopes up, uh?” You watched your lips move. A little humourless chuckle escaped you and you shook your head at your own idiocy.

You aggressively wiped the lipstick off your mouth with the back of your hand and sighed deeply as you looked at your reflection in the mirror. Now you felt like an idiot.

It wasn’t Bucky’s fault. He had been nothing but nice and kind, and perhaps you had mistaken his kindness for flirting. A naïve mistake. You had always been a little clueless when it came to men.

You ran your index fingers under your eyes to get rid of the makeup that had gathered there. It wasn’t the end of the world, you barely knew him anyway. It didn’t hurt any less, though.

Maybe it was time for you to do something out of character, to experience life no matter how crazy it seemed. You were dreading this conversation with Bucky, but you couldn’t hide in the restroom forever. With another sigh, you pushed yourself away from the sink and walked out of the restroom.

Part 4

[post-modern-prometheus]

alright so my friend has been begging me all week to do my Dramatic Reading of the hate essay and i finally did and i like. actually read it cuz when i first saw it i mostly just skimmed it. However some of the things the person said were like kinda wack so i’m gonna talk about it under the cut because being involved with drama is so embarrassing to me lmao

first of all: this isn’t me responding to them. this is for the benefit of me and my followers and anyone happens to read this (so when i say 'you' it's gen). i’m gonna talk about some of the things they said and also try to turn it into some Grand Lesson ig. or at least that’s the aim. i’m kinda writing this out as i go so i’m not sure where this is gonna turn.

my headcanons are just that: headcanons. i can be opinionated, that’s true. but i’m also aware that my opinions are my OPINIONS. if you don’t agree with something i say about a fictional character then i literally don’t care. i’m gonna talk about them the way i interpret them. i’ve made posts before with disclaimers that i literally don’t know what i’m talking about ever and i’m just having fun.

and here’s the thing, because this has happened to me before with other characters: if you’re so pressed that someone headcanons a fictional character as asexual, fuck off. check yourself and your reasoning because aphobia isn’t a cute look. also ?? why are people so concerned about the sex life of CHILDREN. i mostly call them ace (every once in awhile actually. i’m not as adamant about these headcanons as i am with say, peter or sam bc. that shit’s canon idc.) bc a) i’m ace so all characters are ace bc sex is fake literally no one feels sexual attraction wdym and b) they’re children. they’re not having sex. i don’t wanna even THINK about them having sex.

the next part really is just me bitching about the things they said about me <3

for the whole DID theory thing: i just don't like it. sorry. (and i wouldn't surprised if this person is like. in middle school so i don't wanna be mean but talk about a 'smear campaign'... anyway.)

it wasn't me that 'started' the thing with robin after the book came out but oh boy do i whole heartedly agree with it! robin is a lesbian because she is a lesbian !!! not to further will or mike's story !!!!!!!!!!!!!! this whole part really is so funny cuz i'm not sure if they're confusing me with someone else? because like they said smth ab me not wanting robin to like be gay besties with mike and like ??!!! have you been on my blog ???!! and the whole thing about accusing a lesbian of hating other lesbians? WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. anyway this whole paragraph is odd and i wouldn't be surprised if they associated someone else with my blog for some reason.

idk i'm so tired of the argument in the next part about the post i made where i said don't be a jerk and don't engage. i'm so bored of it. my philosophy is just. be nice to people. but if you don't agree that's fine.

and the fic! ig that was this person, i didn't remember who it was at the time that i made a post (without tagging it bc i was just complaining to the void of space that is my own personal blog) being weirded out about it. i still think it's Not Good to write about kids having sex, but hey. ya know. i didn't like. read the fic bc it's disgusting so i don't know if they were aged up or not, but imo, aged up is still. bad. this is the cooper day argument all over again but aging up does not get rid of the fact that you saw a minor (PLAYED BY A MINOR. A REAL LIFE ACTUAL PERSON WHO IS UNDER 18. well finn's older now but still makes me ickyyyy) and decided to write smut about them? and your readers are gonna picture who they know which is. the underage characters? there's some gray area here, but i just stay away from it cuz i think it's gross <3 and, once again, i'd kindly like to ask anyone who thinks writing or reading smut about underaged characters is okay to get off my blog <3 i'm not gonna argue about this one, i think i made myself clear LAST TIME i had to deal with this shit.

anyway yeah this thing is still so weird to me, like i lowkey forgot ab it but then my bsf was like READ ME THE HATE ESSAY and this whole thing of some stranger so aggressively and adamantly hating me kinda freaks me out ngl but idk if i should say that cuz they'll prolly love that if they ever see this. i dunno if they even know someone sent this to me. alright i'm already late to meet up with my group for a project goodbye everyone who read this without getting bored <3

[kingsofneon]

“Don’t cover your mouth…I like hearing you.” acebo or maybe maracebo idk they’re both great, but i can see ace being the one that gets the most frustrated about how damn QUIET sabo always tries to be. his whole goal basically being: i’m going to make you scream or just trying to coax sabo into being as vocal as possible. maybe playing with bondage and a vibrator idc adsljghk

Ace opens the door with a flushed face and a bright grin, eyes glittering with evidence of exertion. “Oh, hey!” he rocks up onto his tiptoes and steals a quick, biting kiss that leaves Marco tingling, a dopey smile flittering onto his lips.

“Hey yourself,” he says. “Good day?”

“Yeah, got heaps done around the house. You ready for dinner? I was thinking pizza, really camp out for movie night.”

Marco shrugs off his coat, slinging it over the back of the couch. “Sounds great.” Then, he cocks his head, a small frown coming to his face as a thought occurs to him. “Where’s Sabo?”

“Oh.” Ace’s grin turns into a scowl, and Marco gets ready to wince and figure out which side he’ll be playing peacekeeper for today. “No, he’s not allowed to join us today. He’s being a shithead.”

“Allowed?” Marco asks, the specific word choice giving him an inclination of where Ace’s annoyance has led Sabo tonight.

“Allowed,” Ace confirms, and then pushes Marco's chest until he reaches the couch, knees folding underneath him until he thumps onto the pillows. Ace leans down and gives him another kiss. “He was making fun of me for being loud when you guys tease me. And then he was being a dick about not making a sound even after I asked him to this morning.”

“So…?”

“So I’m just giving him a taste of what it’s like.”

At Marco’s questioning look, Ace sighs and grabs Marco’s hand, pulling him back off the couch and through the house. “It’s not anything hard,” he grumbles, and shoves open the door to their office. Marco feels like the breath has been kicked out of him.

Sabo’s not a mess; not yet, but Marco can see the faint evidence of sweat tracks along Sabo's biceps and his cheeks, his body flushed a faint pink. Ace has left Sabo the dignity - indignity, all things considered - of boxers, but they’re sharply tented and very obviously wet as he jerkily humps the air. A faint whirr gives away what has Sabo squirming, but this is almost tame compared to what they normally put him through. “Why does he find it hard?”

“No gag,” Ace says proudly, arms folded. “His fucking choice to keep being quiet.”

Sabo’s wanton expression morphs into a grimace at the sound of Ace’s voice, and he cracks his eyes open, glaring at them both. Heat stirs in the pit of Marco’s belly, and he goes to take a step forward, but Ace grabs his arm and pulls him back.

“Nope, pretty bird. I want Sabo calling for me. You’ll sound so cute, won’t you Sabo? Begging for me so desperately.” The words slip out saccharine sweet and Sabo’s glare deepens, muscles straining against the ropes Ace has bound him in. Sabo bares his teeth in a feral grin.

“It’s so hard to even think about you right now, Ace baby. I’m just so invested in plotting out a few- f-few new scenes for my book.”

Ace gives Marco a foul look that practically screams see? and Marco winces on Sabo’s behalf. Their little spitfire is a spitfire for a reason. When he decides he’s been slighted-

But then again, Sabo’s never met a challenge to his pride that he didn’t immediately take, so it’s really on him for being an idiot.

Ace pulls him away, slamming the door shut and cutting out the pretty sight of Sabo bound, and Marco takes a slow, careful breath.

“How’re you going to hear him?” he says, “If we’re going to have a movie night, we’ll be in the lounge, and the door will be closed...Don’t you think you’re being a little mean, yoi?”

Ace’s expression looks torn between a pout and a scowl. “What, and he isn’t? Acting all high and mighty about not making a sound but then never letting up on me?”

Tactfully, Marco doesn’t mention that Ace is always ever so eager to beg, and loudly. (Sabo and Marco are quiet bastards, to Ace’s consternation.) He has a feeling that pointing out that particular factoid is going to get him on Ace’s shitlist.

“I guess I’m just wondering how long you want him to-?”

“Until he’s louder than the movie, how am I supposed to know he wants my attention, Marco?”

The movie? Marco can feel his cheeks pink at the thought of Sabo that loud. His desperate mewls and moans filling the house. Ace’s picked an action flick, too, and Sabo’s not going to break until he has to, the stubborn bastard. Ace grins at him and reaches up to peck his cheek.

“It’s a nice thought, isn’t it?” Ace murmurs, and then he pulls back and saunters off to the kitchen. “Go get comfy, I’ll grab the pizza.”

“Pineapple-?” he calls, and Ace waves a careless hand.

“Yeah, yeah, Mar, I know what you like.”

The closed door teases him, the image of Sabo writhing still burned into his brain, but Marco gathers his self-control and forces his steps to take him to the lounge, flopping onto the couch. Ace is back a few minutes later, two plates heaped with slices of pizza and a can of sprite tucked under his arm. He sits and pulls Marco against his side, a soft purr of satisfaction leaving his lips as he settles.

It’s a cute noise, and Marco smiles to hear it even as Ace eagerly turns the movie on. “Koala said this was really good, okay? Sabo didn’t want to see it, but I figure since it’s just us…”

“No, it sounds fun. You know I don’t normally care.”

“I know,” Ace says, half a laugh, and he smushes his cheek against Marco’s head. “But I like checking what mood you’re in. Sometimes you just want dramas.”

“What, there’s no drama in this?” Marco says, faking an aghast tone, “I dunno Ace, how am I ever going to survive watching a bunch of attractive men take their shirts off for an hour and a half?”

Ace snickers, the sound reverberating in his chest, and Marco tucks his feet under Ace’s warm thighs, picking toppings off the slice Ace has bought him, idly nibbling as the movie continues.

It’s a fine movie; Ace is obviously invested, eagerly waiting for the climax and alternatively grinning or mocking the violence for the lack of realism, but Marco finds his thoughts drifting back to Sabo. Sabo, grinding against that hidden vibrator, sweaty and hot. A feast of bare skin open to be touched. His underwear is surely soaked by now. Even if he hadn’t made a loud enough sound, it’s been at least twenty minutes since the movie started, and he has no idea how long Ace had been teasing Sabo before that point. Sabo’s had to have cum at least once. He might even be whining now, tiny choked noise escaping him even as he tries to suffocate every hint of weakness.

Marco swallows with difficulty as a car chase begins, and he shifts, wriggling his toes under Ace’s legs. “Ace,” he starts slowly, “maybe, it would be a little easier to hear him, if he wasn’t a room away?”

Ace clicks his tongue, chancing a glance down at Marco’s expression, and sighs out through his nose. His head falls back onto the couch cushions.

“Mar,” he says, “the whole point is that it’s hard to hear him.”

Ah, that level of stubbornness tonight. Marco changes tactics, shifting on the couch so he can kiss Ace’s neck and jaw, tiny nips of his teeth making Ace shiver. “Mar,” Ace says warningly, but Marco simply presses closer, letting Ace feel his half-hard cock, teased by the image of Sabo desperate without them.

“Wasn’t he so stunning, Ace?” he says, “You’re being mean to me right now too, you know. Can’t we watch him and the show? Give him some earplugs, a blindfold, let him know we’re watching?” A jolt of longing runs through him like lightning, and Marco grins, biting down harder on Ace’s neck to hear him say ah! “Ace, I bet if you gave him earplugs he couldn’t hear shit. Wouldn’t know how loud he was being until you took them out again.”

Ace heaves a frustrated sigh and levers himself off the couch, head flopping back. Annoyingly, Marco’s realised that Ace leaving has left his side cold, but Ace’ll be back soon, and the temporary temperature shift is going to be rewarded soon enough.

“Fine,” Ace grumbles, “you want me to bring him out here? It’s only going to make him worse.”

“Just give him a fair shot, yoi.”

“I did,” Ace mumbles. “I asked and I was really nice about it. Not my fault he was a little shit.” He stomps off, but Marco catches the hint of a smile as he rounds the corner.

Ace rattles through their bedroom, and Marco reaches over to pause the movie as the car chase ends, clearing off the last slice of pizza from his plate and putting it over on the closest tea table. He can’t deny the growing swirl of excitement in his stomach, and it takes actual effort to keep his hands away from his cock, pulling himself up on the couch and pressing his legs together.

There’s the muffled murmur of words, and then Ace makes an affronted growl. A moment later, Sabo staggers into the lounge, hands tied behind him and a blindfold over his eyes. He walks on trembling legs, lower lip bitten red and spit-shiny. There’s a thin line of cum creeping down his thigh, visible before half-a-second before Sabo rubs his legs together to chase it away.

Marco rearranges himself on the couch so he can lean his head on one hand. “I told you he was a lovely view."

Ace scoffs. He isn’t gentle as he pushes Sabo in front of him, hand braced in the middle of Sabo’s back. “Do you know what he said to me, Marco? I walk in to offer him some food and some time with his boyfriend, and he says, so you finally want me to fuck you.”

“Very mean,” Marco offers, then pats his thigh, spreading his legs. “Can I-?”

“Gimmie your belt,” Ace says, and Marco sighs, taking a moment to shift before handing over his belt.

“Now?” he asks, and Ace shoves Sabo at him instead of answering. Marco catches Sabo’s hips, and Sabo flinches, head twitching at the sudden touch. He’s trembling, and Marco gently guides him to sit.

”Hey, darling,” Marco whispers, a shudder of desire running down his spine. Sabo’s soaked, wet enough that Marco can feel cum through his t-shirt. He moves to touch, but then Ace is grabbing his hand and wrapping it in his belt, binding both just above Sabo’s hips. “Ace-” he tries, and Ace tuts, guiding his hands down until Marco’s fingers slip under Sabo’s boxers and feel the base of Sabo’s plug. Marco’s eyes go wide. “Did- did you give him one of your vibrators?”

“They’re bigger,” Ace sneers. “Sabo said it was pathetic that I couldn’t take shit without crying. I figured he should know exactly what he’s mocking me for.”

They certainly are bigger; Ace loves anything with ridges, and just by feel Marco can tell that this one’s near the heaviest of his collection. He wraps his fingers around it carefully, getting a grip, but Ace’s hand on his wrist stops him.

“Now, Sabo,” Ace says, leaning in closer to whisper in Sabo’s ear, and Marco can feel every eager twitch and unstable shake. He shivers with every promise Ace makes. “Marco’s basically just here to give me another pair of hands. Do you know who you’re calling for?”

“Your dad?” Sabo mocks, voice cracking, and Ace snorts, lips curled back. He pulls roughly at Marco’s wrist before letting go. It's an easy hint and Marco pulls the toy free with a slick sound before thrusting it back in hard. Sabo’s spine goes rigid, head thrown back as a cry leaves his lips. Before he can catch his breath or think about shutting his mouth, Marco sets up a brutal pace, fighting the awkward grip of the belt. The buckle smacks Sabo’s side with each thrust, and Ace smiles.

“Good boy, Marco. At least somebody here respects me.”

Sabo lets out an angered sob, then curves forward, sinking his teeth into Marco’s shoulder. Pain flares like a fire through his skin and Marco jumps with a sharp noise.

Ace gathers Sabo’s hair in one hand, yanking him back. Sabo's teeth sink in harder and Marco moves with the pull, trying to alleviate the pain even as it makes him grind up against Sabo’s thighs. “Ace, Ace, please-”

Ace grabs Sabo’s jaw, pressing at the sides until Sabo lets go with a sharp gasp, and Ace immediately shoves his fingers in Sabo’s mouth, making him gag. “Sabo,” he snarls, forcing Sabo’s jaw wide, and Sabo thrashes, moaning in guttural breaks, trying to fight them both.

His squirming does little to allow him to escape, and he trembles as he settles, the vibrating urge to fight still so visible under his skin. Ace uses his free hand to carefully pet his hair, and this time Marco catches Sabo’s tiny whimper, the way his tongue flickers against Ace’s fingers, drool spilling between his lips.

“You gonna bite again?” Ace asks, and there’s a frozen moment before Sabo slowly shakes his head. Ace’s expression is molten heat.

“I don’t think I believe you, cruel thing,” he says, and his eyes flick to Marco. He heaves a sharp sigh. “Marco, don’t fucking touch him. Just keep his mouth open.”

Marco raises an eyebrow, pointedly indicating the belt, and Ace slips it off, tightening it around Sabo’s chest so his arms are pressed awkwardly into his back. Sabo thrashes once, like a fish on a hook as it tightens and his breath comes short. With his hands now free, Marco takes his time sliding the vibe back into Sabo, shifting his thighs up so Sabo won’t be able to go anywhere now that they’re not tied together. He runs his hands up Sabo’s heaving, sweat-slicked sides before taking over for Ace, cupping Sabo’s face in his hands and sticking his thumbs against Sabo’s bottom teeth.

“Don’t bite me again?” Marco asks, letting a soft longing into his tone, and Sabo whines through his nose, another inch of tension falling from his stiff posture.

“Stay,” Ace says, knuckles tapping Marco’s forehead, and then he’s out of the room with a soft curse.

As soon as he’s gone, Sabo shifts again, bearing down against Marco’s cock, a note of pleading in his tone. “Mar,” Sabo gurgles, gently lapping at his fingers like an apology. He probably doesn't mean it though, the little shit. Not with how a smile flickers across his face when Marco breathes in sharply. “Pretty, I heard you. Ace's being mean.”

A thin line of drool slips down Sabo's lip, and Marco shifts his fingers to wipe it away.

“From what I can tell, it seems like you may have had it coming,” he says.

Sabo tries to scoff, but then another strangled noise comes from his throat and he humps forward, a breath of relief leaving him as he grinds against Marco’s stomach. “Nuh,” he says, about to shake his head, but Marco tightens his grip, holding Sabo’s head still.

“Really?” he says, catching Ace’s eyes as he comes back into the room. He’s got a ring gag hanging from his fist, and Marco pointedly looks at it and then back up at Ace. Ace bears it like a weapon, holding both sides as he takes quiet, slow steps toward both of them. “So, Sabo, you weren’t teasing Ace about being responsive? About how much he likes being sweet to us?”

Sabo snorts, and Marco gives him a quick peck on the nose. It makes Sabo reel back, and Marco slips his thumbs free at the same time. Ace whips the gag over Sabo’s head, shoving it into his mouth before Sabo has a chance to close his mouth. He makes a startled noise, thrashing, but Marco’s already grabbed his shoulders, and Ace has clever fingers; the gag’s soon buckled up, Sabo’s mouth bared in a pretty O.

He whines, and Ace grins ferally. “There we go, baby. That’s the noise I want.”

Sabo thrashes again, but Ace just joins him on Marco’s lap, pressing Sabo forward and leaning into them with a sweet sigh. Sabo's sandwiched between them now, chest heaving as he tries to get space and combat the sensations drowning him.

Ace rolls his hips against Sabo’s hands, and Sabo makes a broken whimper, tongue pressing against the circle of the gag. Drool spills between his lips, as heavy as his sweet noises, and Ace presses his hand against Marco’s cock. Marco’s nose wrinkles as he gasps and bucks against Ace’s hand.

Ace laughs, stroking both of them with his palm. “Oh, Sabo, just imagine. If you’d been nice I woulda let Marco fuck you instead of my toy. He’s so hard, he’s been hard ever since he saw you. But I guess you’re pretty fucked out right now, huh? Do you think if I pulled it out of you, you’d gape, baby? You’re not used to anything this big.” Sabo squirms with a noise he can’t stop, and Marco watches as his cheeks slowly pink, breathless pants slipping out of him as Ace fucks against his clothed ass. It must shift the plug with every movement; at the very least it makes Sabo push against Marco, and every touch of his oversensitive cock against Marco’s abdomen makes Sabo whimper, tears slipping out from under his blindfold.

“-lease,” Sabo manages, the word almost a sob, barely intelligible, and Ace lathes kisses against his neck.

“Please what?” he hums curiously, and Sabo sobs properly now, bucking against the pressure, trying to free himself.

“You,” Sabo says, and then he throws his head back, a sharp sob breaking his throat. His cheeks are aflame. “Ah! Ace, please! Ace!”

“Good boy,” Ace murmurs, his grin razor-sharp. "I like hearing you, Sabo. I missed your voice."

Sabo sobs again, pathetic mewls and whimpers falling from his lips, and Ace gives a pleased little sigh, his eyes dancing. “How about you say that a few more times and I’ll think about letting you free.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #443

“it’s not a life sentence, but a death dream for you”

When was the last time you were in the hospital? Me personally, uhhh sometime in 2017? Why were you there? I had a cyst removal surgery. Do you like Cheez-Its or Cheese Nips better? Cheez-Its. Have you worn headphones at all today? Yeah, I pretty much always do because YouTube is always open and on a video. When was the last time you had blood drawn? A few months ago or something? I'll be getting some drawn shortly though for genetic testing; due to my mom having some dysfunctional cancer prevention gene, all her children are getting tests to see if we inherited it. The last time you got blood drawn, what was the reason? I want to say I was tested for anemia most recently. What color eyes does/did your father have? Brown. What do you daydream most about? Things I wish I didn't daydream about. What is your relation to the last child you spoke to? They're my niece and nephew. Do you believe the Holocaust happened? No fucking shit? Do you prefer zebra stripes, tiger stripes, or leopard spots? Tiger stripes, ig. When did you last see a dog? At my nephew's b-day party a couple weeks ago. Nicole brought her dog Zeke over. Have you ever been in the mountains when the moon and stars were up? No, but omg I wish!!!!!!!!!! Do you know anyone from Canada? Yep. Has a cat ever licked you? Yeah. Roman especially loves to give kisses. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? The Wizard of Oz park, probs. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit's rad. o: Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? No, that sketches me out. I'd be afraid of the ice breaking and me falling in. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever met an Alaskan? Met in-person, no. But I do have an online friend who's from Alaska. Or may still live there? Idk. Have you ever mowed the lawn (even a little bit)? No. Have any unpleasant public transit stories to tell? Nah. Do you know any German words? Seeing as I took four semesters of the language in high school, I know a good deal. However, my skill has definitely atrophied with time and lack of application. Do you have a passport? No. Are your teeth straight? I mean, mostly. I had braces for too long, but I didn't wear my retainer, so they've moved back some. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? Yeah, sure. I've never understood why height is an issue for some people. Can you quote the movie Mean Girls? No. I personally never got the craze. Have you ever swam in the Atlantic Ocean? I have. The Pacific? No. Can you make yourself cry? No. Have you ever held a starfish? Not a live one. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? Faint or vomit. Wail. All three. Are you very close to your siblings? No. :/ Can you do CPR? No. Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics? I don't care. Ever flushed a fish? Yes. Ever been paid for sex or a sexual favor? No. I wouldn't agree to that. Last friend you talked to online? Sara. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? No. What is the best ice cream flavor? Vanilla. You have so many topping options. What’s your favorite thing to do outside? Photograph nature, especially wild animals. What would you spend $1,000 on? A big, really pro tattoo. What was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? Hm. I don't know. Who did you last lay in a bed/couch/recliner with? Mom and I sat together on the couch some time ago. Do you keep a planner? No. What are you craving right now? I've got a seriously random craving for shell pasta with a nice, meaty tomato sauce. Do you want kids anytime soon? DEFINITELY not soon, but also never. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. What’s the best feeling in the world? Knowing you're in love and really feeling it. What’s something you really want right now, be honest. There's a lot of things. Who in your family do you act like the most? I don't know, really. Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom, 100%. Do you believe that your first true love can be your only love in life? Of course not. Have you ever kissed under water? Yes. Is there that one guy that you’ll always have feelings for no matter what? Suuuure is. Wish it wasn't like that, but I don't see it ever changing, to be real... Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? 100%? No, I can't say I am entirely. Have your parents ever caught you kissing a guy? "Caught me?" How old is this question meant for? Yes, they've seen me kiss a guy before. If you mean like, seriously kiss-kissing, no. Which one of your exes hates you the most? Probably Jason. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, my middle name has been passed down, but "Brittany" wasn't from anybody else in specific. What reminds you the most of your last relationship? The song "The Only Exception" by Paramore. Have you ever rejected someone but they still wouldn’t give up on you? In elementary school, yes. When growing up, did your family always eat at the dinner table together? Usually, yes, at least when growing up. Sometimes we'd use little tables to eat in the living room though while watching TV. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? My mom, best friend, and pets. What was the last charity/cause you donated to? I'm unsure, actually. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara! :') Did your parents read bedtime stories to you when you were little? Mom did. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. The greatest fear I've ever had was losing Jason, and that happened. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, for one. My older half-sister has also be divorced because her ex is an absolute piece of manipulative horse shit. Has anyone in your family gotten pregnant as a teenager? I think my mom? No, maybe not... Idk. I ain't doing the math. What’s your greatest talent? If you want a serious answer and not something self-depracating, I suppose writing. Would you ever want to get a master’s degree? It'd be cool, but I've never *actually* wanted to pursue that. Have you ever worn revealing clothing in order to get attention? No. Have you ever been falsely accused of being racist? I've never been accused of being racist, because I'm not. To you, is sex just about physical pleasure, or do you see it as an expression of love and commitment? Absolutely the latter. I could never engage in sex without deep emotional commitment. How many times have you been drunk in the past 6 months? Zero. What’s your favorite French food? I have no idea. What’s the most elaborate recipe you know how to cook? Nothing. Which rooms of your house have doors that lead outside? The living room and kitchen. Best purchase you ever made? My snake. :') Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? I haven't seen him a long time, but boy did I have a thing for James Hetfield in high school. There are defs others, but no one else immediately comes to mind. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? No, because I've never tried to. How many Facebooks have you had? Just the one I still use. Have you ever been punched in the face? No. When was the last time you talked to the first person you kissed? The beginning of February, 2017. What is the latest you have ever slept in? Past 5. Do you have to watch yourself in the mirror while you brush your teeth? No. Do you text when you drive? Fuck no. You couldn't pay me to. What movie do you really want to see that’s out? I don't even know what movies are out right now. Did America really put a man on the moon? Eventually, yes. Call me crazy, but I do believe the supposed first one was faked, though, to "beat" Russia in the space race. Do some research and it's pretty shocking. Would you like to date someone a lot purer than you? Idc. Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? No, but I turn the brightness down for if I wake up in the middle of the night and want to check the time. Have you slept in a bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes. Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? I don't believe so. Do you like tattoos and piercings? Helllll yes. :') What are you really into? Animals, art, some weird Korean guy on the Internet... Do your parents like your best friends? Yes. Have you ever taken a nap with a member of the opposite sex? Yeah. Do you have weak upper body strength? Yes. What color was the last cup you drank from? It's just clear glass. How old is your oldest sibling? I actually don't know her exact age. 30-something. What was the last thing you ate that had nuts in it? A Nature Valley cashew bar I had earlier today. How many pieces did the last puzzle you completed have? I have no idea. Who did you last shake hands with? uhhhhhhhh Has anybody asked you out on a date recently? Nah. When was the last time somebody asked you to be their girlfriend? When Girt asked me out a few years ago. Name something you’re picky about: Food. Who did you last ask for help? My mom. Do you like corn? Yeah. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? Right now I honestly probably would, believe it or not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mum. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Yeah. How do you earn money? The only occasions where I ever and very rarely earn money is if someone (non-family, of course) pays me to take pictures for them. Where were you raised? All you need to know is a crappy town in eastern NC. Are your ears gauged? No, but I want the first holes in my earlobes to be, but only with very small gauges. I just can't figure out how to do it myself, at least with the gauges I have. I think I'm missing something. Explain what triggered your last kiss? We were saying goodbye. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? I mean I could, but it'd seriously fucking suck. Have you ever made out in a park? No, because I don't do that in public. What are you listening to? "Paint You With My Love" by Marilyn Manson. I wasn't big on the album when it came out, but this is one of the songs that's aight to me. Last thing you said out loud? I gave Venus a little wave and said "hey babe" or something like that like I do sometimes when she's slithering around and looks out towards me. Are you sad? Always at least a little bit. I have been kinda down this evening. Where is your dad? I would hope at home. He's probably watching TV, or maybe in bed.

[seokmattchuus]

Fuck Away The Pain - Hyungwon

A/n: I don’t even know what this is, ngl. It kinda sucks, but ya girl’s sad from an ex and I’m deep in my Hyungwon feels so this happened. Let it flop, idc, tbh. I just wanted to write it. Also, issa long one, sorry.

“Y/n..” - 10:47 pm

“I know this is uncalled for, but” - 10:47 pm

“I really miss you.” - 10:48 pm

“I really wanna see you. Can I come by later?” - 10:49 pm

“Can we try again?” - 10:50 pm

You stood there, staring at your phone, tears welling in your eyes as you shoved you phone into your pocket and quickly wiped at your eyes. Of course, your ex, Min, would pick the best timing to try to ‘fix’ things.

It was movie night at the Monsta X dorm. You’d never been, but your best friend, Hyungwon had invited you this time, knowing that you’d needed some kind of comfort while you went through your breakup. He figured inviting you over for a movie would be best since you weren’t the clubbing type.

And of course, Min had to ruin that too.

You were in the middle of scooping ice cream into bowls with Hyungwon to put in the freezer for later when your phone went off. 

You ignored it of course, thinking it was some spam calls since everyone knew you were busy tonight. But it wasn’t until when Hoseok, Jooheon, and Hyunwoo came back from the store with all the snacks that you checked it, not wanting the constant sound to bother anyone.

You excused yourself to the restroom so you could check your phone in private, but rolled your eyes when you saw that it was Min that called.

A good amount of times. 

When you hadn’t answered, he resorted to text messages, which led you to your current situation.

Crying against the sink in your best friend’s shared dorm.

It wasn’t really an “I missed you” kind of crying, but more of a “what fucking nerve do you have to message me this kind of shit” kind of crying.

Min had ended things just shy of a month ago. It wasn’t like you didn’t see it coming, you just refused to think about him wanting to break off your three year relationship. You just couldn’t, well, more like you didn’t, want to see it. 

Until you’re birthday came around and he hadn’t planed anything. 

It wasn’t that you wanted him to do anything big or extravagant, a simple acknowledgement would’ve sufficed. But no. He hadn’t texted or called at all throughout the day.

It wasn’t until later that night when you and your friends posed for a picture to post on your Instagram that he finally texted you.

“So you’re out with that guy again?”

Had it not been for your male friends, including Hyungwon, he probably wouldn’t have contacted you at all.

It was that moment that you realized everything was falling apart. He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t love you. Not to mention that he spent that whole day with some girl from his workplace. Your friend being the one to tell you the day after your birthday, not wanting to kill your mood.

It was a week after that when he finally ended things. Claiming that you just weren’t good enough for him anymore. That he needed something new, more exciting. To be put simply, that he was just bored of you after being with you for so long.

You had no objections, nor arguments. There was no point. There was nothing in your relationship worth saving. You just went home and packed all the things he left at your house while he packed yours, traded off the next day, and that was that. He hadn’t contacted you since, and for him to finally text you after this whole time, what was he expecting? For you to jump at the opportunity? Welcome him back with open arms?

When you finally managed to get your feelings under control, you turned to look at yourself in the mirror, cringing at how puffy your eyes were. How were you supposed to go back out there? You’d already been in the restroom for a good while, if you stayed any longer-

“Y/n, you okay?” Your train of thought was cut off as Hyungwon knocked on the door.

You sniffled and cleared your throat. “Yeah! Be out in a minute.” You called out before rinsing off your face and drying it on the towel. “You can do this.” You whispered to yourself.

When you walked out, Hyungwon was standing in front of the door, his hand out to stop you from walking past him.

“You’re not okay.” He stated. “You sniffled and your voice sounds like you were crying.”

“I’m fine, Hyungwon.” You sighed. “Min’s just being an asshole, that’s all.”

“What’d he say?” His tone changed.

“Basically that he misses me, and wants to come by later and try to work things out.” You shook your head. “I don’t want to ruin your movie night, but I don’t want to go home either. What am I supposed to do if he comes by?”

“You can stay here tonight. I’ll lend you some clothes.” He said nonchalantly.

“I could-” You started, but were cut off.

“Y/n. We’ve been friends since middle school.” He started. “This is nothing. I’ll sleep on the floor, or on the couch if you want me to. But I don’t want you going back to your place if he’s gonna show up. He doesn’t deserve a chance to even think about you after everything he’s done.”

“B-”

“No ‘but’s.” He shook his head. “You’re staying here, and that’s final. Now hurry up before they start the movie without us.” He smiled, pulling you into a big hug, his scent engulfing you.

You weren’t gonna lie, hugging him was more than comforting at this point, and you wanted nothing more than to stay like this, but sadly, you had to pull away.

“C’mon, let’s go.” He smiled, dropping his arms so you could both make your way back to the living room where Kihyun was setting a movie order while Minhyuk and Changkyun were setting up the living room to make it more comfy.

“And they didn’t go off to fuck, you owe me $15.” Hoseok laughed at Hyunwoo.

“Cut it out.” Hyungwon glared. “Even if we did, I sure as hell wouldn’t do it around you dumbasses.”

You felt the heat rise to cheeks. Sure, Hyungwon was attractive, but you’d never thought of him like that.

Or at least that you wanted to acknowledge.

“Okay!” Kihyun clapped from his spot. “I finally have an order.” He said happily. “Now let’s move everything to the coffee table so we can start.”

-

After everything was situated, you, Hyungwon and Minhyuk sat on the couch with you in the middle. Hyunwoo and Jooheon took the recliners, and the rest made themselves comfortable on the floor.

You were halfway into the movie when Minhyuk moved from his spot beside you to go to the restroom, causing you to lean a little too close into Hyungwon’s side in an effort to get comfortable. Which also caused him to shift a little, you brushing it off as him trying to adjust.

-

After the first movie, Changkyun had asked Jooheon and Hyunwoo to help him get the ice cream.

“Do you feel any better?” Hyungwon leaned down to whisper.

“Kinda?” You whispered back. “I just can’t get him out of my mind.” You shrugged. 

“Give me your phone.” He said, pulling away from you and holding his hand out. 

“Why?” 

“Just give it to me.” He smiled.

You were hesitant, but reached into your pocket, and gave it to him nonetheless.

“I’ll take care of it later, I promise.” He smiled down at you as the guys came back with bowls of ice cream.

-

“Kihyun…” Hoseok whispered, poking the boy with his foot lightly, laughing as he tipped over. “Are you seriously asleep right now?”

“Bro, we did just watch like, four movies in a row.” Changkyun yawned. “Hyunwoo and Minhyuk fell asleep too. Let’s just call it a night.”

“But we still have one more to watch.” Hoseok pouted.

“Well you can watch it yourself.” Hyungwon stated, stretching as he got off the couch, helping you up. “Y/n’s spending the night by the way.”

“Hmmm.” Hoseok wiggled his brows, earning a pillow thrown at him.

“Like I said before, cut it out.” He said flatly. “Next time it won’t be a pillow.” Hyungwon threatened before walking to his room.

“Night guys.” You whispered before following Hyungwon to his room, where he pulled out some boxers and a long flannel, holding them out to you.

“You can go change in the restroom if you want.” He smiled softly.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay here?” You shied away from his offer.

“Yes. I’m sure.” He said while shoving you towards the bathroom. “Now go change.” He said, dropping the clothes into your hands.

With a huff, you did as you were told, and changed into the long flannel that smelled like Hyungwon’s favorite cologne, and slipped into the boxers. After changing, and folding your clothes, you looked in the mirror, feeling slightly unsure of yourself.

It wasn’t like this was new. You and Hyungwon weren’t strangers. You had plenty of movie nights throughout high school where he let you wear his hoodies for comfort.

You’d always been close so this was nothing out of the ordinary for you. But something just felt different, and you couldn’t figure it out.

Maybe it was the way his members seemed to keep pushing the thought of you two. Or maybe since you were still upset over Min, staying with Hyungwon seemed different. 

Maybe because you weren’t in high school anymore.

Maybe because it wasn’t just his hoodie this time.

“You’re just a mess right now, y/n. It’s nothing.” You whispered to yourself, shaking your head while you ran a stressed hand through your hair before walking out of the restroom and back to Hyungwon’s room, deciding to lighten the mood, you struck a pose at his doorway.

“How do I look?” You quirked a brow, and Hyungwon’s eyes raked over your frame, and lingered a little too long on your exposed legs before meeting your eyes with a smile.

“Like a model.” He laughed, and pulled out your phone. “Should we do a photo shoot to make it real?”

“Wow, Mr. Model wants to give me a photo shoot?” You wiped a fake tear. “I feel honored.” You smiled. “But I can’t pose for shit.”

“Just do what you were just doing.” He said, holding your phone dramatically, while positioning himself on the floor, waiting for you to pose, snapping the picture once you did. “Not so bad, Miss. Newbie.” He smiled, getting up and showing you the picture. “How about you smile, though?” He suggested.

“I was smiling though.” You pouted.

“You need to smile bigger. Like you’re laughing.” He mocked your pout as he positioned the camera again. “Hurry up, my arm’s getting tired.” He laughed.

-

You took a total of ten pictures, all directed by Hyungwon and in all honesty, as you both sat on the floor looking through them, they weren’t that bad.

“I like this one the most.” You pointed to the one that had you pouting at the lens.

“Well, I like this one the most.” He pointed to the one with you smiling while your head rested on your arm.

“Well,” You started. “Thank you for the photo shoot, Mr. Chae.” You laughed. “It made me feel better.”

“That’s what friends are for.” He smiled back at you. “It’s getting late, you should probably sleep.” He said, getting up. “I still haven’t changed, so let me grab my clothes and I’ll be out of your way.” He smiled, going to his drawers and pulling out a pair of pajama pants and making his way out to change.

“Hyungwon,” You called out before he left the room fully. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch, or the floor. I can instead.” You offered, getting up.

“You know I won’t let you.” He said softly.

“But I feel bad. It’s your bed, after all.” You shrugged.

“Then we can just share it?” He questioned, looking over at you.

“I guess we could.” You avoided his gaze, looking down at the bed, and back at him.

“Guess I need a shirt then.” He said, walking towards his closet and grabbing a shirt.

“You don’t sleep with a shirt on?” You quirked a brow at him.

“Not really. It’s uncomfortable.” He shrugged, walking out to go change.

You sighed and sat on the bed, moving the covers to the side so you could make a spot for yourself and tracing random nothing’s onto his comforter.

Maybe things were different this time. Here you were, after a breakup, laying in your best friend’s bed, wearing his clothes, while you were about to sleep in his bed.

“Comfortable?” His voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Huh? Yeah.” You looked up at him. “Your blanket’s really soft.” You mumbled softly.

“That’s why I bought it.” He laughed at your statement before pulling the cover up and sliding under, too. 

“I know you need music to sleep, so is there anything you wanna hear?” He said, pulling your phone out, looking through your playlist.

“Why don’t you sing for me?” You asked. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard your voice.”

A hint of red tinted his cheeks at the statement and you smiled.

“You know your voice is my favorite.” You moved so your head laid on the back of your hands and you looked at him.

“Don’t look at me.” He smirked. “It makes me shy.”

“Mr. Model gets shy?” You quirked a brow. “Interesting.” You smiled before closing your eyes. “I’m still gonna face this way, though.”

“Stubborn little thing.” He chuckled before clearing his throat. “Any recommendations?” He whispered. 

“Surprise me.” You smiled.

“Why can’t you just make things easy for me for once?” He laughed lightly. “Hmm. What kind of genre?”

“Surprise~” You whined.

“Do you know how many songs there are?” He looked at you, though you couldn’t see him. “You just love making things hard for me.” He grumbled before clearing his throat again before singing Dreamer. 

-

“Did you really fall asleep?” He whispered after singing the song. “You were probably tired.” He sighed, grabbing your phone and connecting it to his charger, an idea popping into his head.

He scooted closer to you and held your camera above the both of you so it looked like you were cuddling into him, took the picture, then scooted back to his initial spot and looked at you again before confirming his plan.

He opened your messages and found Min’s, typing a quick message and attaching the picture of you sleeping, not even hesitating to hit send before leaving your phone on his bedside counter to charge, not bothering to check the vibrate signaling Min’s response.

-

You woke up feeling warm. Too warm. When you tried to move, you realized your arm was wrapped around something and you opened your eyes in realization of your current position. Looking up at Hyungwon’s still sleeping form, your arms wrapped around his waist, and your head on his chest.

You mentally cursed yourself as you slowly let him go and face palmed. Of all the damn nights for you to want to cuddle.

“It’s too early.” Hyungwon grumbled, his voice raspy. “Stay in bed.”

“Were you awake this whole time?” You looked at him with eyes wide.

“No. I woke up when you moved your head.” He mumbled. “The warmth was nice.”

“What time is it?” You said, ignoring his statement.

He grabbed your phone. “5:58 AM.” He whined. “Let’s just go back to sleep.” He rolled towards you, arms open.

“You’re such a baby when you’re tired.” You tsked. “We’re not cuddling again. We weren’t supposed to anyways.”

“You’re the one that woke me up. Take responsibility.” He yawned out, with grabby hands. “If you don’t come willingly, I’m gonna pull you in.”

“You wouldn-” You were cut off by Hyungwon grabbing your wrist and pulling you back into him, his arms wrapping around your waist. 

“Shut up and sleep.” He grumbled. “Hyunwoo’s alarm doesn’t go off for another two hours and if you wake up before then, we’re gonna fight.”

You didn’t bother fighting him and relaxed into his hold. It wasn’t all that bad. The way his body covered yours and the way he held you made you feel safe and warm.

Made you feel comfortable.

-

You don’t know when you fell back asleep, but you woke up to Hyungwon shaking you lightly.

“C’mon.” He whispered. “Now, it’s time to get up.” He chuckled.

You sat up and stretched. “Do I really have to get up?”

“I was gonna take you home so you could get some clean clothes, then maybe come back.” He started. “But if you’re down to stay dressed like that the whole day.” He shrugged.

“No, going to get clothes sounds nice.” You piped up. “Why would we come back here though?”

“Is it such a shame to want you to make friends with my group mates?”

“Good point.” You stated, getting up and picking up your clothes from yesterday.

“I’ll leave, you can change in here.” He stopped you, making his way past you. “It’s windy out.” He smiled. “So keep the flannel on.” He said as he walked out.

-

The ride back to your place was a comfortable silence and that’s when you noticed your phone’s bluetooth didn’t connect to his car.

“Won, where’s my phone?”

“I charged it for you, so if you didn’t get it, it’s probably still on my counter.” He said calmly.

“We’re going back anyways.” You said as he pulled up to your place.

“You go freshen up. I’ll just chill in the kitchen and steal snacks.” He smiled as he put the car in a park and got out.

“Sounds like a plan.” You laughed as you made your way to the door, unlocking it.

“Just don’t take a long ass shower.” He tsked. “Or I might end up eating all your snacks out of boredom like last time.” 

“Don’t remind me.” You glared at the memory. “God forbid I leave you alone for more than thirty minutes.” You kept your glare as you placed your keys on the kitchen counter. 

“Just some food for thought.” He chuckled as he opened your cabinet, looking for something.

"Just don’t eat everything.” You groaned and made your way to your room. “I really don’t feel like going shopping just because you can’t control yourself.” Your voice faded the longer you walked and you barely heard Hyungwon’s noise of agreement.

You didn’t really pay much attention to the clothes you picked out, thinking of just grabbing some leggings and keeping Hyungwon’s flannel as your top. Given that it wasn’t too baggy, but not too tight, you figured it had that ‘at home’ look, which was perfect because you didn’t wanna look like you were trying too hard to come up with an outfit.

You reached for your speaker on instinct, but put it down once you remembered you didn’t have your phone and grumbled to yourself, grabbing your towel and heading towards your restroom.

-

“Well that was fast.” Hyungwon spoke with a mouth full of Pringles.

“Let’s just say I miss my phone.” You smiled, rolling his shirt sleeves up, along with your hair.

“You still wearing my shirt.” He smirked.

“It’s comfy.” You shrugged, sitting across from him. “And it smells nice.” You added, reaching for a chip. 

“You always did like my cologne.” He smirked to himself. “I guess I make good choices.”

“You picked one good cologne, don’t get cocky.” You glared, pointing your chip at him, him sticking his tongue back at you in return.

“Are you sure you really wanna meet the guys?” He cocked a brow at you while he chewed his chip. “They might be too much to handle.”

“You’re too much to handle and I do just fine.” You stated matter-of-factly.

“Okay but now like, there’s six more of me.”

“You started it by inviting me over for movies. Plus it was your idea.” You smiled.

“Good point, but you didn’t have to agree.” He pointed his chip at you before eating it. “But let’s go after we eat.”

-

Hyungwon’s definition of ‘after we eat’ ended up being ‘after we eat and watch a movie or two.’ So by the time you were getting ready to leave, it was about to be 2 pm.

“What happened to ‘after we eat.’” You laughed as you both made your way to the door.

“You can’t just eat and not watch something.” He looked at you like you were clueless.

“You couldn’t just pick a show?”

“Movies are better.” He held his chin high as he opened the door for you, locking it from the inside. “You’re just mad ‘cause I’m keeping you from going back to the dorms.”

“I am not!” You yelled. 

“You totally are.” He glared. “Why? Do you like any of them?” He quirked a brow at you, his tone changing as he closed the door.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” You shrugged, opening the door to the drivers side.

“It’s Hoseok, isn’t it? Or Hyunwoo?” He tsked. “It’s always one of them.” He mumbled, opening the car door and getting in.

“And if I said I did?” You teased, stepping into the passenger. 

“I’d ban you from going back.” He glared. “They can’t just steal my friend from me.”

“Why can’t I be everyone’s friend?” You quirked your own brow at him.

“The world doesn’t work that way, my clueless little y/n.” He ruffled your hair as he started the car.

“You’re just paranoid that they’ll steal me away.” You glared. 

“And if I am?” He didn’t hesitate to answer.

“It’ll take a lot more than a pretty face to ruin our friendship.” You smiled, ruffling his hair now. “Why do you think Min hated you so much?” You chuckled, only to have it die down soon after. “I guess your ‘idol’ title made you different from the rest of my friends.” You shrugged, shoving the memories of past arguments to the back of your head.

“Look. I know I caused a lot of problems for you tw-”

“Don’t.” You cut him off. “He left because I wasn’t good enough. Let’s just go now.” You spoke quickly, watching as he put the car in ‘drive’.

“He really made you believe that?” He spoke up, his voice soft.

You didn’t answer.

“It’s bullshit, you know.” He spoke louder this time. “Anyone would be lucky enough to have you. Just because he left doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough.”

And that was all he said.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, both of you not feeling the need to say anything else, at least not until you were heading up to the dorms again.

“If you flirt with any of them, I might just kick you out.” He threatened as you reached his hall.

“You could never.” You smiled as you poked his side. “You love me too much.” 

You only got a glare in response as he punched in the code to the door, nearly shutting it in your face as payback for your little statement, but you couldn’t complain now that you were back at the dorms.

“She’s back!” Minhyuk yelled from the couch, running over to you.

“We thought he wouldn’t bring you back.” Kihyun chuckled, watching as Hyungwon glared at Minhyuk, who’s hug was lasting a little longer than it should.

“Dude, let her go. She didn’t come to get squished.” Hyungwon grumbled.

“And now he’ll probably never let her come back.” Changkyun laughed while nudging Kihyun.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Hyungwon fake laughed. “She wouldn’t even be back here if she didn’t forget her phone.

“So that’s what was going off all day.” Hyunwoo chimed in. “I wasn’t trying to snoop, but it seemed important with how much they kept texting. I think it was a Min?”

“Oh, that’s not important.” You trailed off. “Probably ju-”

“Did you guys order the pizza, yet?” Hyungwon cut you off, trying to change the subject. “And did you get the side of wings?” 

“Yeah, Hoseok and Jooheon went to go get it.” Hyunwoo said. “But you’ve never wanted wings before. What changed?”

“They aren’t for me, they’re for y/n.” Hyungwon said casually, the rest of the guys raising their eyebrows at each other.

“Since when are you so considerate?” Minhyuk spoke out.

“I’m considerate to people.” He stated calmly, before forcing a smile. “Just not you.”

“Rude.” The older pouted, before his phone chimed. “Oh, food’s here!”

-

The day had gone smoother than you thought. You had eaten, watched some shows, played dumb games on the living room floor, and now you were cleaning up.

“It’s late, we should get you home.” Hyungwon spoke up after finishing the dishes.

“Shit, what time is it?” You looked up at him.

“Your phone’s still in my room isn’t it?” He raised a brow.

“Well we were busy, I didn’t really need it.” You shrugged.

He did nothing but sigh and ruffle your hair before leaving to his room to retrieve the device.

By the time he reached the phone, it had just stopped vibrating, and he checked it to see if it was important.

“Min? Again?” He groaned, pressing the home button so he could see how many times he called. “Thirty times?” He scoffed, letting the screen timeout on it’s own. “Does he have nothing better to do?”

“I suggest you hurry up before Minhyuk hides her away.” Changkyun warned, leaving Hyungwon to shove your phone in his pocket, and head back out.

“But make sure you come back. Even if you have to hide it.” Minhyuk whispered the last part.

“The point of whispering is to not be heard.” Hyungwon mimicked Minhyuk, causing you to giggle.

“Let’s go, you grumpy log.” You laughed. “It’s getting late, I don’t want you coming back late.”

-

The drive home was spent with you talking about how much you enjoyed your time guys being even more great - and stupid - than you thought they’d be in person.

“Well, at least you enjoyed your day.” Hyungwon smiled towards you. “You deserve to have better days now that he’s gone.”

“Speaking of,” You piped up. “What do you think he wanted?” 

“Who knows.” He shrugged. “You didn’t check?” He asked, pulling into your driveway, and looking over to you.

“I’m kinda scared to know.” You admitted, unbuckling your seat belt. “I mean, I cried at the ‘let’s try again’ texts, so who’s to say I won’t cry over whatever he’s saying now?”

“Do you want me to read them instead?” He offered, unbuckling his own seat belt.

“As long as you don’t say anything dumb.” You glared, handing him your phone.

“No promises.” He smiled, snatching the phone from you, and unlocking it. “Messagesssss.” He dragged out as he pushed the little emoticon. “Miiinnn.” He repeated as he looked for the man’s contact, tapping on it once it came in sight. “Last message was sometime around…” He trailed off as he scrolled up, turning the phone slightly as the picture he took came into view.

“Why? Is it bad?” You whined at the action.

“No, I just don’t want you to read anything and get upset.” He mumbled. “How about you go in and get ready? I’ll be in when I’m done.” He smiled softly at your frowning face. “You can even order food? And use my card?” He offered, to which you smiled and nodded. “All it takes is food. You’re so easy.” He fake tsked, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. “Just make sure you order something for me, too.” He laughed, waiting for you to walk inside before turning his attention back to your phone.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be?” - 2:07 am

“Why aren’t you answering?” - 2:08 am

“I know you’re getting my messages.” - 2:10 am

“Is it because he’s with you? You’re just gonna replace me like that? With a fucking pretty boy?” - 2:12 am

“And now you’re not gonna respond? You obviously sent that picture for a reason.” - 2:13 am

“Fine. Have it your way. I’m stopping by tomorrow night.” - 2:16 am

Hyungwon scoffed at the messages before deleting them, along with the picture, and throwing the phone in his lap.

What the hell was his problem? Was he really that jealous over you staying at the dorm when he wasn’t even your boyfriend anymore?

The nerve.

Sighing again, he turned the car off and got out, angrily shoving your phone in his pocket before going inside.

“The delivery guy said twenty minutes tops, so it shouldn’t be too long.” You smiled at him.

“All you care about is food, huh?” He joked.

“Well maybe if you didn’t eat all my food all the time, I wouldn’t care so much.” You glared.

-

After eating - and cleaning up - you had suggested watching something scary, more for background noise than entertainment.

“So..” You trailed off. “Was it bad?” You bit your lip.

“Now you ask?” He chuckled, taking a sip of his Monster. “But no, it wasn’t bad. Just obsessive?” He questioned, trying to think of the right word. “Just stuff like ‘oh, you’re not gonna respond?’, and ‘you’re just gonna replace me like that’.” He mocked in a dumb voice.

“Why are guys like that?” You sighed, throwing yourself back onto the couch.

“Like what?” He furrowed his brows. 

“All ‘I don’t want you, but don’t date anyone else.’“ You mocked in a deep voice.

“Who are you dating?” He coughed as he choked on his sip.

“No one, but you know what I mean.” You glared. 

“Well obviously I didn’t.” He coughed some more. “Word yourself better next time and we wouldn’t have a problem.” He grumbled.

“I’ve literally been crying to you about how guys suck. Why would I date another one right now?” You deadpanned. 

“I don’t know. Maybe the whole ‘get over someone by using someone else’ thing.” He mumbled. 

“On another note.” You sighed, ignoring his statement. “You’re a guy, do you know why guys do this shit?”

“I’m not a shitty guy, or at least I don’t think, so I have no idea.” He paused, putting the can to his lips and throwing his head back, finishing it. “But I can fight him for you if you want.” He smirked.

“I appreciate the offer, but the last thing you need is to catch a case.” You laughed lightly. 

“Who said I’d get caught?” He raised a brow.

“Okay feisty one, I’m gonna go throw away the trash which you said you would do.” You giggled, as you got up.

“I was gonna do it after I finished my drink.” He defended himself as you walked away to pick up the trash bag. “Which I just did.”

“Well I already got up, so you’re too late.” You smiled, walking back and taking his empty can, throwing it in the bag before tying it closed. “I’ll be back.” You said, slipping on some sandals before going out, mentally cursing as you realized you left the trashcans on the curb from yesterday.

“If I wasn’t kidnapped, I’d totally not have to walk all the way to the curb.” You grumbled to yourself, as you reached them. “I should’ve just let Hyungwon do it.” You continued to grumble as you lifted the lid.

“So you’re with him now?” You heard a familiar voice speak out from the side, and you froze, the lid falling with a loud thud. “Are you not gonna answer?” He spoke louder this time, slightly slurred.

“No.” You spoke softly, not trying to cause a scene. “But it’s not like it matters to you.” You said coldly, watching as Min laugh sarcastically.

“I just wanna know how long it’s been going on.” He hiccuped. “Since we broke up? Since your birthday? Before then?” He got louder the more he spoke, walking closer.

“You’re drunk.” You swallowed thickly while backing away, slightly scared since you knew this side of him.

“And? Answer my question.” He said, stopping slightly as he realized you were pressed against the trashcan.

“I told you we weren’t together.” You repeated louder this time, hoping Hyungwon would hear.

“Don’t bullshit me, y/n.” He chuckled, raising his voice even more. “We both know you had feelings for him.”

“Whether I did or not doesn’t-”

“Yes it fucking does.” He scoffed, taking a step forward, causing you to push against the trashcan, your face instinctively turning to the side in an attempt to block yourself. 

“If your problem’s with me, then leave her alone.” Hyungwon spoke out, grabbing your wrist and pulling you behind him. “Go inside.” He said sternly, to which you shook your head, and before he could respond, Min spoke up again.

“Oh, so you got him protecting you now? That’s fucking rich.” He laughed again, stepping towards Hyungwon, who only pushed you back. His position staying. “We all knew you’d end up with him anyways.” He spoke bitterly, looking up at the man.

“Like I said.” Hyungwon’s voice threatening as he stepped forward. “If your problem’s with me, leave her out of it.” He glared. 

“How do you know my problem’s with you?” Min laughed.

“My name was in almost every message you sent.” Hyungwon scoffed. “If anyone else read them, they’d think you’re jealous of her, not me.” He took another step. “And you came to her house to ask if me and her were together. It sounds like my presence pisses you off.” He smirked.

Min scoffed before balling his fist.

“I suggest you leave.” Hyungwon spoke up again, his tone holding something you hadn’t heard from him before as he took more steps to back Min into the sidewalk. “If you wanna fight, I suggest you be sober first. Wouldn’t want you making up excuses for losing to a ‘pretty boy’ like me.” He said, pressing a finger to Min’s shoulder and pushing him into the street before turning around and pushing you back towards the door.

“I told you to go inside.” He nearly yelled as he shut the door. “What if something happened? What if he had something? What if I wasn’t here?” He scolded, too lost in his concern to realize you were tearing up.

“What would you would’ve done if-” He stopped talking the second he saw a tear fall and immediately pulled you into his chest. 

It was quiet for a while, neither of you saying anything, or more like him not knowing what to say.

Of course he’d fuck up by yelling at you after everything that’s happened.

Of course he’d snap at you even though none of this was your fault.

Of course he’d let his feelings get the best of him.

“I’m sorry for yelling. I shouldn’t have.” He sighed picking his hand up to run it down your hair. “I’m just worried about you.”

“I’ve never seen you so mad before..” You sniffled, remembering how he sounded, how he got in Min’s face. It wasn’t like him.

“I never planned for you to see me that mad.” He chuckled. “I let my feelings get the best of me. I shouldn’t have acted out like that.”

“What feelings?” You questioned, and he looked down at you in disbelief. His whole face basically saying ‘do you really not know?’

“Are you serious?” He laughed.

“I may have a hint..” You paused. “But I just want you to hear you say it.”

“You really strung me along, huh?” He laughed lightly, looking back up. “Do you know how hard it was to not act on it?”

You looked up at him and chewed your lip in contemplation of whether or not to say what you wanted to. But he already said it, so why couldn’t you?

“No one said you couldn’t act on it.” You bit your lip as he looked down at you. 

“Say that again.” His response was immediate but his tone was different. 

“I said,” You paused, your eyes staring into his. “No one said you couldn-” You were cut off from him pressing his lips to yours, the force strong enough to push your head back, but his hold on you strong enough to keep you in place.

Knowing where to move, he backed you into the couch, turning you both around so he could sit and bring you down on top of him.

His hands never left your hips and when they finally did, they moved up to wrap around the back of your neck, trying to bring you impossibly closer into him while the other hand ran up and down your thigh, squeezing every now and then.

Never did either of you think this would happen. That one of you would finally take that step and remove whatever block was in the way.

But that block only stayed gone for a minute as Hyungwon pulled away, panting and searching your eyes for anything and you could tell he was stopping himself.

“Please, Hyungwon..” You panted, your hands coming up to cup his face. “Don’t stop here.” You whispered, hoping he’d see the sincerity in your eyes.

And though he did, it wasn’t enough for him.

“No, y/n. As much as I’ve wanted to do this, you’re only doing this out of vulnerability. Not because you want me.” He shook his head, trying to get your hands off of him, causing you to tighten your grip.

“But I do want you.” You spoke softly. “I’ve always wanted you…” You trailed off. “I just never thought you’d want me, and Min came along and fucked up my whole mentality on everything.” You took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t tell you to act on your feelings if I didn’t want to act on mine.”

He was quiet, his eyes never leaving yours as you spoke, his hand on the back of your neck rubbing softly while the one that was on your thigh squeezing hard at the mention of him. 

So contradicting.

“This wasn’t how I pictured this happening.” He chuckled bitterly. “But I guess timing doesn’t care for trivial things.”

“Please,” You looked at him, your voice breaking. “I want you for you. Not because I’m sad, but because it’s always been you.” 

He didn’t reply verbally this time, opting to press his lips back against yours, but softer this time, and you pulled back.

“You’re holding back, Hyungwon.” You whispered. “You don’t have to.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He whispered back. “I came on way too rough the first time.” He laughed.

“Be rough with me, please.” You started. “I want to get lost in you. I only want you on my mind.”

“Of all the things I imagined you saying, that was never one of them.” He chuckled. “Are you sure?” He said, scanning your eyes for any hint of denial.

Instead of speaking up, you nodded your head, but it wasn’t enough for him. 

“Words. I need to hear you say it.”  

“Yes.” You spoke up. “Help me forget him.“

As if a switch flipped, the Hyungwon you had before was back and he was on you as if you’d disappear at any given moment. 

You thought about what he said earlier, the whole ‘using someone to forget someone else’ and now weren’t sure if ‘forget’ was the right word to use, but if wasn’t, you were pretty sure he’d have stopped. 

Maybe he said it because he wanted to be the one to help you forget someone.

Either way, you were reveling in the way his lips moved from yours to trail down your neck, randomly biting while his hands moved down to your thighs, occasionally moving up to play with the hem of your leggings.

“Fuck, Hyungwon.” Your hips rolled against his as he bit a specific spot and he smirked before biting down again, harder this time. 

“Do you know how bad I wanted to do this last night and all damn day?” He rasped out between kisses, sucking a hickey above your collarbone. “Seeing you walk around in my shirt like that.” He whispered before going to the other side of your neck. “God, you look so good.” He growled, roughly sucking hickies onto your skin.

“I wanted nothing more than to fuck you senseless while you wore that damn shirt,” He whispered, his hands rubbing closer to where you wanted him. “Have you screaming my name and letting everyone know who’s really meant for you.” He growled as his fingers rubbed you over your leggings. “I bet you would’ve loved it, huh, babygirl.” He whispered in your ear before nibbling on your lobe.

“Yes, fuck.” You threw your head to the side, bucking your hips into his hand, while his other came around to grab your throat, squeezing harder every time he spoke.

“Have you beg for me to touch you.” He whispered, his hand slipping under your leggings to rub you over your panties. smirking at the wet spot he felt. ”Beg for me to fuck you.” He whispered before rubbing harder. “Beg for me to let you cum.” 

“Fuck, Hyungwon, yes.“ You whined out, your hips trying to press against his fingers for something. Anything. 

But he pulled away with a smug smirk instead. 

“Then get up.”

“Wha-” 

“I said,” He tilted his head. “Get. Up.”

“Hyungw-”

“Get up now, or I’m not touching you again.” He deadpanned, and out of fear he meant it, you got up and stood in front of him. “Sit here instead.” He smiled, moving you over his thigh and you stared at him confused.

“What, baby? Never ridden a thigh before?” He smirked as you blushed. “I’ll help you then.” He smiled, leading you over his leg and letting you get used to the feeling, smirking as your eyes closed from the pressure.

“Doesn’t it feel good?” He spoke up, his voice lower as he flexed his thigh, smirking as you moaned out, your hips moving against him on their own accord. 

“I want more, please.” You whined, rutting against him. 

“Where would the fun in that be?” He cocked a brow, flexing his thigh again.

“Please, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me next time, I just really really really need you right now.” Your voice came out pathetic, but you really couldn’t find it in you to care.

“Be careful what you say, baby.” He teased, getting up abruptly and turning you around so you fell into the couch, leaving you to look up at him with pleading eyes. “Because next time, I might be more than you can handle.”

You didn’t have time to respond before he knelt in front you, his hands grabbing at the hem of your leggings before pulling them off, you lifting your hips to help him.

“Hyungwon please-” You choked out. “I can’t-” You were cut off with a smack to your thigh.

“You can.” He started, staring up at you while he kissed your thigh, making a trail up. “And you will.”

You didn’t respond, instead starting to squirm from anticipation, your hand grabbing at his hair in hopes of getting him to get up, but your plan was ruined as he pulled away.

“Hands.” He said simply holding out his hand.

You shook your head and he reached for your both of your hands, putting your wrists in one hand before continuing his teasing.

“Hyungw-” You were cut off as he bit your thigh, the surprise sting making you jolt.

“Let me have my fun.” Was all he said before kissing higher, switching between the top of your thigh to the inside. 

“Don’t you want me right here?” He asked softly, looking up at you with puppy eyes. “You said you wanted more, and that’s what I’m giving you.”

You had no words, knowing full well you wouldn’t be getting out of this, and you relaxed against the cough in frustration.

“Be a good girl and just enjoy yourself.” He whispered before licking a strip up your clothed slit.

“Oh-Oh my god.” You whimpered, your hips bucking into his face. “Why do you tease so much.” You whined, your arms trying to fight against his grip, only to have it tightened.

“You said you wanted to get lost in me.” He mumbled before licking over you again. “That you wanted me to be the only thing on your mind.” He mumbled, pressing his mouth harder against you. “I think I’m doing a pretty good job at that.” 

At this point, you felt like crying. Of all the times he chose to listen to you, it was the time when all you wanted was for him to finally touch you. 

“I’ll beg, just please. I can’t anymore.” You whined, your hips wiggling as you squirmed. 

“Then let me hear it.” He suggested. “Beg for it.” He teased before going back to licking at your clothed slit.

“Fuck~” You whined. “Please fuck me, touch me, anything. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll call you whatever you want, I promise I’ll be a good girl for you, just please, for fucks sake, do something.” You whined out, your hands fighting in vain against his hold.

“You sound so pretty when you beg, baby.” He groaned, getting off his knees and helping you up so you were standing in front of him, his hands coming up to the buttons of his flannel, pausing when you tensed up. “It’s okay.” He looked at you. “I’m right here.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours again, softer this time while he worked on the buttons, letting the garment fall to the floor before pulling away. 

“So beautiful.” He whispered to himself, bending his head down to take your nipple into his mouth while his hand gave the other attention. “I can’t wait to cover you in my marks one day.” He smiled, dropping to his knees while he kissed down your torso, his hands following by running down your sides, stopping at the hem of your panties before slowly pulling them down and letting them fall so you could step out of them.

“I’m gonna take care of you.” Was all he said before shoving his head into you, his tongue lapping at you like you’d be his last meal.

“Hyungwon-” Your knees buckled, but his hands came up to grasp your thighs, keeping you up while your hands attached themselves to his hair.

You let him have his way until you felt yourself about to cum, the teasing finally catching up to you.

“Hyungwon- I- fuck-” You whimpered as your thighs shook. 

He got the point and got up, only to bend you over the armrest of the couch, your new angle giving him the perfect view of your ass.

“Fuck, I’ve always thought about this.” He groaned, working at his pants. “Making you feel so good, you can’t help but scream.” He said, dropping his pants and boxers, kicking them to the side before grabbing himself and running it up and down your slit. “I wonder how many times you’ve thought about it.” He smirked to himself.

“Please~” You whined, pushing yourself back onto him.

“So needy for me.” He licked his lips as he slid his tip in, reveling in the small moans you let out as he slowly slid in, not giving you time to adjust before pulling out and slamming back into you. “I wonder just how needy you’ve been.”

“So much.” You whined, clenching around him, smiling softly when he hissed.

“Such a naughty girl you’ve been, y/n.” He tsked, his hands moving to hold your hips, stroking slowly. “Keeping your thoughts all to yourself.” He groaned, trying his hardest not to ruin you completely.

“Hyungwon, faster.” You panted, your hands balling into fists by your head.

“What’s the rush, baby?” He teased, leaning over to press a kiss against your shoulder, his strokes speeding up just a bit. “Don’t you wanna enjoy yourself?”

“I want you to ruin me.” You let out in a broken whimper. “Fuck me so hard I’m crying. So hard I don’t know what to do with myself. So hard I have no choice but to take it. So hard I’m forced to just lay here and moan.” You nearly cried. “So hard that your name is the only word I know.”

Your plea seemed to do the trick as you heard him laugh lightly before biting down on your shoulder and speeding up on his thrusts, the pace nearly brutal compared to what he was giving you before.

You had no words, the only thing running through your mind was Hyungwon and how good he was making you feel.

You guess he seemed to notice this as he spoke up again.

“Like this, baby?” He questioned with a pant. “You’re so quiet now.” He smirked to himself. “Let me hear you.”

Your response consisted of a mix of gasps and whimpers, not being able to think straight.

He seemed satisfied given that he didn’t ask again and he gripped your hips harder, holding you in place while he used his full force to fuck into you.

So forceful you’d almost assume he hated you or that he was trying to prove a point.

And maybe he was.

Trying to prove that it should’ve been him this whole time. Him kissing you. Him loving you. Him fucking you.

And the closer he brought you to your orgasm, the more you thought it should’ve been him, too. Especially when his hand came around to rub harsh circles on your clit, your thighs shaking from how close you were.

“Don’t even try holding it.” He growled. “None of that cumming together bullshit.” He panted. “Cum for me. Cum all over me.” He coaxed you, his voice sweet compared to his current actions.

“Hyungwon, I-I- Fuck!” You were cut off by him rubbing harsher circles against you, giving you no choice but to accept it, your thighs giving out as you came.

“That’s it, baby.” He smiled down at your fucked out form, slowing down so you could ride it out before speeding up again, chasing his own orgasm, smirking when you whimpered. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Can’t take a bit of over stimulation?” 

[shikadainara]

discussing the sad naruto deaths because why not:

zabuza and haku: OF COURSE this still makes me bawl my eyes out, “if possible, i wish... to go to the same place as you” is such an iconic naruto quote for a good reason. 10/10. (and the way haku finds out post-mortem how, really, zabuza didn’t see him as a mere tool all this time after all....!!! i hope they rest easy in the afterlife.)

hayate: does this even count. even on “sad naruto death” collages i don’t think i’ve seen a single person acknowledge that he was killed LOL

hiruzen: i cannot believe i actually cried over this bitch as a kid LOOOOL like??? it does make me the tiny smidgest sad how he was still trying to believe in the good in orochimaru until the very end but that’s all i’ll say. when you find out later how he was complacent in the uchiha clan massacre and also i realize now that i’m older that he could’ve VERY EASILY done something about how naruto was neglected but chose to do jackshit, that and reread the konoha crush it feels like this fight gets dragged on for so long and i’m just waiting for him to die faster bye bitch!!! 👋👋

dan and nawaki: eh i do like tsunade and all but also they’re kinda just. there. dead.

chiyo: NOOO MILF YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TOO SEXY TO DIE!! 😭😭💔 ok but seriously, chiyo’s death it doesn’t have the “nooooo!!!” factor because she did willingly give up her life, not going out torn up and bloody, just peacefully transferring her life force away, but... wow. her death speaks so much about how she was willing to past things onto gaara, and his generation. it’s such a fitting death. and you know what i honestly want to say that chiyo is the best written female character in the whole damn manga...

asuma: HHHHHH???? i mean OF COURSE i love team 10 the most OF COURSE this tears my heart into pieces but!!! i wish it was better written!!! like of course his death cuts into shikamaru deep and by proxy it makes me so emotional because of it but... asuma you do have two other students Hello... the first half what he says to ino about how caring she is great, the second half about not losing to sakura in ninjutsu or in love is... kinda Uh but. the first half of what he says to chouji about how big his heart is is great, the second half about asuma spouting fatphobia is just??? WHAT!?!? THIS IS BOTH A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY, LET ALONE AS YOUR DYING WORDS TO YOUR STUDENT, AND DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE!?!? hhh like i do think that!! asuma loves his students if not he wouldn’t treat them to barbecue all the time but!!! for fuck’s sake i reallllly wish we got to see what he actively did to teach both ino and chouji before he died... at least. at least i think the manga’s self aware because when his edo tensei is brought back, no one brings up the second halves of what he told to both ino and chouji, and his new final words of “your inoshikachou formation is complete.” is WAY better...

itachi: i don’t fucking know. itachi’s character is all over the place what am i Supposed to feel

shisui: ok honestly i remember like nothing about him sorry pass

jiraiya: hhhh?? like his whole death scene was great, it does make me sad with the build up of tsunade betting on his life since she never wins her bets, the way he’s fighting to the bitter end, him putting his pen down with “the tale of naruto uzumaki”, seeing both tsunade and naruto break down over the news of his death... BUT. yeah idk i wish he was a better person while he lived that would’ve been cool.

minato and kushina: well the impact of this one is lessened imo since well they were dead long before the series started their deaths was uhhh kinda what put the whole series in motion. it still is sad tho thinking about the AU where what their family could’ve been if they lived :( 

nagato: i do like the rain kids and all but the rinne rebirth shit was pretty dumb like it felt like kishi just wanted to backtrack on actually killing off some characters lol

konan: uhhhh honestly i don’t remember what happened in her fight against tobi at all sorry. i’m sure her death was sad tho

neji: neji’s not even anywhere near my list of top favorite characters and his death was an absolute shitshow. you know why but the whole angel thing for NH shit is awful, the way tenten isn’t allowed to mourn for him she just says “lee...” ??? (idc about the ship i just mean as being his teammate), the fact that he goes down so easily, THE UH. THE DISTURBING IMPLICATIONS OF HIS CHARACTER ARC AND HOW HE DIED TO PROTECT THE MAIN FAMILY UHHHH. er. now that’s what i call Yikes!!!!

shikaku: NOOO DILF YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TOO SEXY TO DIE!! 😭😭💔 i’ve expressed before but i do think the whole “i grew up watching your back” thing is kinda weird since it makes it feel like shikaku wasn’t that actively in shikamaru’s life but. we know that’s a lie??? we know that he’s konoha’s best father and is also sexy as hell??? the whole “live and guide them yourself, shikamaru.” MAKES ME BAWLLLL AAAAAAAAAAA (i do think that the whole “make sure to hide that from your mother” thing is also kinda weird but whatever i don’t think it detracts from the impact of his death lol)  i hope you keep thotting it up in heaven king

inoichi: NOOO DILF YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TOO SEXY TO DIE!! 😭😭💔 we know less about his relationship with ino but it’s abundantly clear from this scene alone how much ino absolutely loved her father... and again as someone who loves team 10 so SO much!! yeah. i do absolutely fucking hate the “POSITIVE LOVE *PICTURE OF SASUKE*” fuck off with that shit but. the “WHAT I’M MOST PROUD OF AS YOUR FATHER... IS YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS YOUR FRIENDS” AWWWWWWWW and the way they both die by welcoming oblivion by saying that they’ll always still be in their children’s hearts.... AAAAAA

rin: idk i’ve seen both “you let rin die.” and the whole “haha you sure know how to steal a girl’s heart!!! *picture of chidori going through her chest*” memed on to death it’s so hard to take it seriously anymore i am sorry

obito (not the rock but for realsies): “YOU WERE THE COOLEST GUY!!!!!” that’s all i have to say

[imagines-oneshots-galore]

(Baby) Bump in the Road

omg I’m back. But not with what you were expecting. It’s a Teen Wolf one-shot!

Yes yes yes, I got back into Teen Wolf recently, and had this idea rolling around in my head for awhile. It’s also been sitting in my docs for like a month so that’s fun. 

Then today I got my writing juice flowing and finally finished this fucking fic! Finally! It’s not the best writing I’ve ever done, but I’m proud of it. And ready to be done with it lol. 

As always, like, comment, send me an ask or a request, I guess just let me know what you think! This is my first ever Teen Wolf Imagine, so be nice please. Actually, you know what, tear me to shreds if you want, Idc. 

Pairing: Scott McCall x Reader

Part: 1/1

Fandom: Teen Wolf 

Word Count: 4,494 (is a long one)

Summary: Scott McCall did not plan on being a father this young, so he could do the only thing he could think to, he ran. 

Warnings: Heavy Angst, slight violence, mentions of blood, unplanned pregnancy. There’s fluff if you squint.

Ao3

Masterlist

A/N: I already kinda did one up above, so I won’t again, but it’s sad. I’m sorry lol. 

Scott third person POV-

How was he supposed to react?

You were teens,

Children really.

You barely knew how to take care of yourselves, let alone another person.

And Scott was scared. Rightfully so in his mind.

You were pregnant, and he was a werewolf, not to mention only 18 years old.

How would that even work? Would his child grow with fangs instead of teeth and claws instead of fingernails?

Would they kill you from the inside out? Or would they be human since Scott was bitten not born? All these questions flooded his mind the minute you said the word pregnant. And he had fled.

He knew it was a mistake, that he should stay with you and make sure you were alright. Especially considering you were the one who would have to carry this werewolf-human baby. If you even decided to keep it. He hadn’t stayed long enough to find out.

He only stayed long enough to break your heart.

You POV-

Realistically you knew that Scott would react like that, but some small part of you had believed that he would be happy about it. That he’d be somewhat excited at the prospect of being a father and raising a child together. But that part was wrong. And you were devastated.

Normally you weren’t a crier, that just wasn’t your thing (unless they were movies, then you’d ball like a child). But as soon as he had climbed on his motorcycle and sped away, you hadn’t stopped crying. You hated it. You hated feeling weak. You hated feeling vulnerable. And that’s what crying made you feel.

Plus, his departure made you question even more what you were going to do about the baby. You just didn’t know if you could do it alone. Realistically you knew you’d have support. If not from Noah and your surrogate father Chris, then at the very least Melissa. But knowing it was Scott’s, and that he didn’t want to be a part of its or your lives, you knew you wouldn’t be the parent your child deserved.

Did he ever actually love you the way he said he did? You had been told before how much you were like Allison, maybe you were just so similar that he was with you to try and be as close to her as possible. While it wasn’t likely, you were questioning everything about your relationship with the werewolf. How did you mean anything to him if it was so easy for him to leave you behind?

So you cried out all of the pain you felt. The pain of being pregnant so young, and the pain of not knowing what to do. Most of all the pain of Scott leaving you.

Eventually, you stopped crying, only after you had passed out from exhaustion. Chris had heard you sobbing all night, but he didn’t know what to do. He didn't even know what was wrong. So he entered your room, expecting to see you either covered in blood or watching some sad movie. But instead he saw your room was in tatters, which wasn’t all that unusual, but it was so much more than just clutter. Things had been tossed around, thrown on the floor or shattered on the wall. You were in the center of it all, with puffy cheeks and swollen eyes. He saw you breathing softly out of your mouth, probably because you couldn’t breathe through the congestion in your nose. Your hand was gripping both your pillow and the shirt you wore, which Chris knew for a fact was Scott’s. Your father figure was stunned, it was one of the few times he’d seen you cry, all the other times involved death of some kind. While he didn’t know what was wrong, the one thought that crossed Chris Argent's mind when he sat down to move the hair from out of your mouth, was that he was going to kill Scott McCall.

Scott POV-

He knew it was time to come back. He had his time to think, and he could only imagine the shit storm that was awaiting him when he saw you again. He still didn’t quite know what to do, but he what he did know was that he’d stick by you no matter what you decided. The more he thought, the more he realized he wanted to do this with you. Whatever it was, even if it meant he had to be a father a little sooner than he had intended. Scott wanted to have you in his life forever,  and he wasn’t about to let this (baby) bump in the road keep that from happening.

So he drove back to the Argent apartment, with his figurative wolf tail between his legs. When he pulled up, he was immediately met with a very mad Chris Argent.

“What the hell did you do to her wolf boy?” He asked, his tone cold and sharp. Scott knew he had really fucked up this time.

“I didn’t... “ Scott paused. “I ran away when I should have stayed. I got scared so I left, at the worst possible time” He knew what he did was wrong, and that he had a lot of making up to do, if only Chris would let him through the door.

“Yeah well you messed her up bad McCall. You know I wanted to trust you this time, and I did, for a while. But once again I have a daughter crying her eyes out in her room. And it’s all because of you” Scott was left speechless, saddened by the realization he had made you cry. Something that was not only hard to accomplish, but something he had promised to never do.

“Please sir, I know I fu…” Argent raised his eyebrow. “Messed up, but I really need to talk to her. It’s really important. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.” Scott pleaded.

“Why should I let you?” Chris asked, arms folded.

“Because I love her, and I need to make this right.”

You POV

You had been awake for a while now, the tears had finally stopped, but the ache hadn’t left you. Neither had the confusion. What in the world were you going to do? You already knew you loved baby more than you had ever loved anything, so abortion wasn’t an option, but that left you with two other choices.

You could carry the child then raise them yourself.

Or you could put them up for adoption.

Both options made your heart ache in your chest. You were barely an adult, realistically you couldn’t give your child the life it deserved, but even the thought of having to give away your baby made your head spin and chest spasm. It was your baby, and Scott’s, even if he didn’t want them.

In the end you had come to a decision. It wasn’t an easy one, but in your heart you knew that you were strong enough to do it, and that it was the right one for you and your baby.

Your head snapped to the door when you heard a light knock, quickly, you wiped away the remaining tear tracks on your face and straightened up your hair. As for the room, you would just have to say that you were looking for something and knocked your table over.

“Come in,” you called out, immediately clearing your voice to get rid the evidence of what had been happening just hours before.

The door creaked open slowly, revealing a hesitant and obviously guilty Scott McCall, and you froze in your bed. Out of all the people you thought would come through, Scott wasn’t in the top ten.

“(Y/N)? Can… can we talk?”

You continued to stare at him, the man that you loved, the father of your unborn child, and right now the very last person you wanted to see.

“You had your chance to talk, and you left.” You replied, and Scott’s heart broke when he felt no emotion through your words, It was like you weren’t even there, like you were somewhere far far away.

“You left when I needed you most. But I don’t need you now. So I would suggest you get the fuck out of my house before I call Chris and he makes you.” With that you stand and start to walk over to him, intent of pushing him out of the room before your tears had a chance to begin again. But in your haste for him to leave you failed to remember the shards of glass littering your bedroom floor, and stepped directly onto one of them.

Immediately pain shot through you, causing you to quickly lift your foot up, and cry out in pain. You must have been more fatigued than you thought, because you immediately fell to the ground, more glass making its way into your arms and hand as you tried to catch yourself.

“(Y/N)!” Scott yelled as he dove for you, and quickly picked you up from the now red floor.

“Well shit that fucking stings,” You whispered as blood started to trickle down your fingertips.

“Are you okay? Oh god hold on, where’s your first aid kit?” He asked frantically, running into your adjacent bathroom to dig through your cupboards.

“It doesn’t matter because you’re leaving. I can take care of this on my own,” You reply hotly, once again attempting to stand only to fall back to your bed when pain flooded through the sole of your foot.

“Like hell I am, I know you’re mad at me right now but I’m still your boyfriend, and need to make sure you’re okay,” He said as he finally came out, producing your first aid kit and tending to your wounds. You watched him in silence as he worked, mulling over his words in your head even after he had finished and came to rest on the bed next to you. One thing kept sticking out though, and it couldn’t be left unsaid.

“Scott, I’m not angry,” You paused, turning towards him so you were looking in his eyes, “Well okay, I am somewhat angry, but more than anything I’m hurt.” This time you had to look away, your lip already trembling.  You were never one for sharing your emotions, verbally at least, and this was huge for you to admit.

“I was so scared Scott, I still am, and when I needed you most, you ran away,” tears once again burned behind your eyelids, but you refused to let them fall as you continued. “I have never felt more alone than I did in that moment. You have no idea how scared I was, I’m only 18. I’m supposed to have my entire life ahead of me, and yet here I am, pregnant, with no fucking clue what to do. So I go to the ONE person who can help me, the ONE person who helped get me into this mess, and he leaves me behind without so much as a word. I know this is happening to you too, that you’re only 18 too, but this is something we needed to figure out together! I thought you fucking loved me Scott, but this just proved that I was a placeholder for a while. Maybe a replacement for my dead best friend. I don’t know and frankly I just don’t care anymore, I just need to do what you do best and run away. ” You were out of breath by the time you finished, and you just didn’t have it in you to keep yourself from crying. Full on crocodile tears slid down your cheeks, but you didn’t stop them, all you could do was curl in on yourself, away from the boy who had hurt you so badly, who had yet to even say anything.

Scott felt like he couldn’t breathe, he hadn’t thought that his absence would have caused you so much pain, and he felt like an utter jackass that he had. So he sat there in silence, watching as the fierce girl he knew and loved broke down in front of his eyes, all because he couldn’t face the consequences of their actions. The thought alone of you thinking he couldn’t possibly be in love with you, that you were just a replacement for Allison, made his own vision blurry. You were his entire world.

“Just leave Scott, please” you whispered, sobbing as quietly as you could. Your words snapped him out his trance, and he knew, right then, that he wasn’t going to leave your side, so he did the only thing he could think to do. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you onto his lap, tucking you in as tightly as he could without hurting you. At first you had tried to weakly fight him but he didn’t let go, instead he held on tighter, putting his lips against your head as his own tears started to fall.

“I’m so sorry (Y/N). I was just scared too, I didn’t know what to think or how to feel, and you were looking at me so intently that I just freaked. What if you don’t survive this (Y/N)? I’m a werewolf. This baby could kill you and It would be all my fault, and I just don’t know if I can live without you. And you were never, ever, a replacement for Allison, or a rebound or anything like that. I love you more than anything in the world.” he said as he rocked you in his arms.

There wasn’t anything more to be said. You were only kids after all.  Two kids who had gone through more than anyone should at their age, who had yet another crisis to work through.

Chris Argent had heard the whole thing from behind the door of his surrogate daughters room, he knew he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but he had to make sure the McCall boy wasn’t going to hurt the girl again. He had nearly bust through the door himself when he had heard her fall, and once again when he found out the predicament they were in, but he didn’t. He had stayed behind the door, trying his damn hardest to process just what his daughter had said (and trying to resist the urge to drop kick Scott to the nearest landfill). Chris was upset of course, upset that they were so reckless, upset that Scott had reacted the way he did, upset that (Y/N) hadn’t come to him for help, but most of all he was upset over the fact that he could do absolutely nothing to help ease the two kids he held so dear to his heart’s, pain.

He also couldn’t imagine what (Y/N) was feeling at the moment, most women were happy to find out they were carrying a child with their significant other, but those same women usually planned it, and more often than not the first people they would call was their family. Not that Chris wasn’t (Y/N)’s family, because he was, but he wasn’t her birth parents. They had died three years prior, a freak accident that wasn’t supernaturally related. Then Allison became (Y/N)’s rock, she became her sister, and she was gone a year later. This was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of her life, and the people who mattered most to the girl weren’t there.

Chris slowly backed away from the door, content upon hearing Scott say exactly the thing his girl needed to hear, and walked out of the house. He needed to talk to someone, someone who would know what to do in this shitty situation. So he traveled to the cemetery, sat against his wife’s headstone, and asked for help.

Back in the apartment (Y/N) and Scott had laid down, the emotions causing an exhaustion so intense they couldn’t stay upright. They hadn’t left eachothers arms though. (Y/N) was draped over Scott’s chest, legs intertwined and head tucked safely under his chin. Scott was holding on to his girl for dear life, both arms wrapped firmly around her waist and his nose buried in her hair.

“What are we gonna do Scott,” (Y/N) finally whispered, her voice hoarse from the hours of crying she had done that day.

“I don’t know baby, I don’t know.” he replied, pulling her closer, so she was nearly laying completely on top of him.

“Before, I came to a decision, back when I didn’t know whether or not you were in this with me, and as hard as it will be, I still think it’s the right one for us,”

“I’m with you (Y/N), no matter what the decision is. I’m not leaving you again,” and she believed him.

8 ½ Months Later

You were sure you were about to pop. One more inch and you were going to rip at the seams, spilling everything out onto the ground. However, the doctors assured you that you were a perfectly fine weight, and that you may even gain a few more centimeters before the baby was due. This was not a good thing to hear, you were already uncomfortable as you were, back pain and cramps and not to mention the fact that your nipples had begun leaking (that was a fun trip to the store with Chris.) This pregnancy had been tough, not just on you, but everyone around you. Right after finding out about the baby, Gerard had showed his ugly mug once again, and nearly killed everyone you held dear. While in the end, the evil bastard was gone, there was still a threat. But it was minor enough that you only needed one protective detail compared to the three you had when Gerard was around.

Scott stayed true to his word and had been with you through it all, through all the nausea and cravings, and gave you every single massage you asked for, no matter the time or place. Unless he was fighting for the safety of his family and pack of course. You and him were as strong as ever, and continued to strengthen as time progressed.

At this point, you only had about a week left, and as much as you feared the day your lady bits were shredded to pieces, you were ready for your little boy or girl to arrive. Both you and Scott decided you wanted to wait to find out the gender of the baby, wanting to instead see your baby before settling on a name. Also, after going out and frantically asking Derek if you would be killed in childbirth due to its werewolf heritage, you found out that only born werewolves could produce werewolf babies, and since Scott was bitten, you were safe.

Everything was falling into place for your family, and everyone was gearing up to meet the new baby.  Until it all went to shit.

Unbeknownst to you, Monroe had been planning an attack on you, her reason? After Gerards death, she wanted to make the McCall pack hurt. What better way than to target (Y/N), Scott’s greatest weakness.

She had sent a lackey to kill you in your sleep, while everyone was across town fighting a “threat” she had staged. But what she hadn’t accounted for was the fact that you were pregnant, nor that you could fight back, even when nine months pregnant, and while they hadn’t been able to injure the baby or you, the stress still caused you to go into labor and now the entire world seemed to be off its axis. Scott had rushed back to the apartment, stopping to make sure you were okay before grabbing you and the hospital bag you had prepared.

“Scott,” you gasped as a contraction hit you, right when you were stopped at a red light. He instinctively grabbed your hand, letting you squeeze him as hard you needed (thank god for tough werewolf skin), before slamming on the gas as soon as it turned green.

“We’re almost there baby, just hold on for two more minutes,” he urged encouragingly, bring your trembling hand to his mouth to kiss you.

“The nursery is finished right? You guys got it all set up?” you asked, trying to take your mind off of the fact it felt like you were being stabbed right in the vagina.

“Yes it is, we got it done two days ago. He’s all set to move right in.”

“He?” You asked out of breath and with a smile, “You think it’s gonna be a he?”

“Yeah, It’s just a feeling,” he shrugged, releasing your hand briefly to rub a hand on your enormous fucking stomach. You covered the hand on your body and smiled up at him.

“I think so too baby,” suddenly you felt your heart drop, and it wasn’t because of the pain.

“Do you think we are making the right choice Scott?”

“I know we are (Y/N),”

What happened after the arrival at the hospital was a blur, there were so many lights, sounds, and pains, you didn’t know where to focus. The only thing you relied on was Scott. His freakishly large hand never strayed too far from yours, and his voice was near constant in your ear. Telling you how much he loved you and how proud he was of you.

39 Hours later a baby boy was born, and you swore you had never been happier in your life.

71 Hours later after that, it was time to say goodbye.

You and Scott had made the decision to give your little one up for adoption. It was the hardest choice you had ever had to make, but in the end you knew that in your current stage of life, it was just too dangerous to raise them. Not only was Monroe a bigger threat than you anticipated, Scott was a true Alpha, something rare and valuable, so your baby would have only been a target. With heavy hearts you had searched for a family that you could trust, one that had no affiliations with the supernatural. It was a tougher search than you had planned, but you eventually had found a loving pair of husbands. They were warm and kind and caring, and best of all they were human, ad lived far away from Beacon Hills. They had offered to keep you and Scott in the babies life as much as possible, but you had declined. It was just too dangerous.

You had asked to not share your identities if the baby asked, and asked for them to just say that you weren’t able to take care of them, but still loved him with all your hearts.  It was horrific to think about, and you were surprised they had agreed, but they were so desperate for a family that they did. In return they would send you a picture of him every year on his birthday, so that you would know that your baby was okay. 

In the meantime you had soaked up as much time with your child as you could while he was still within you. You had went baby clothes shopping with James, and Scott and Chris helped build the nursery within their home with Steve.

You were happy with who you had chosen to raise your baby. Even if it hurt terribly because it wasn’t you and Scott. 

 All of your family had already come to say their farewells, and every single one had  left crying heavily. Even the old sour wolf.  This baby had a huge family that loved him dearly, and while he wouldn’t know them, they would always protect him. 

Unfortunately, you were in the final hour with him, James and Steve had left to get their car ready for departure, and to let you and Scott say your goodbyes.

You were cradling him to your chest, tears steadily streaming down your face, Scott was in the bed behind you, holding both you and your baby as his own tears fell. You had expected this to be hard, painful even. But it was so much worse.

It felt like your heart was being ripped from you, and it may as well have been. This baby was grown inside of you, you had been there for every hiccup, kick, burp, fart, everything. And now you were saying goodbye forever. You knew this was the right thing to do, but it hurt more than words could even hope to explain.

You honestly didn’t know if you would survive letting him go.

“We love you Christopher,” you whispered against his head, breathing in the newborn smell you would miss dearly. The Roger’s had let you name your son, claiming that the middle name was enough for them, and that you would at least have the knowledge that his name meant something to you. It hadn’t been a hard decision, Chris Argent was your father and closest confidante, he had also been with you every day of your pregnancy, after all you lived under his roof, but he would have been either way. He had started crying when you told him the name, kissing you and the forehead and giving Scott the longest hug you think he’d ever had.

“You are already loved so deeply, by so many people,” Scott choked out, reaching down to stroke the infants soft cheek.

“Grandpa Chris, Grandma Melissa, Aunt Lydia, Uncle Stiles, Aunt Malia, Uncle Derek, “ He continued.

“Aunt Allison,” you added. Scott hummed and kissed your head. 

“And Mommy and Daddy too. We love you more than you will ever know, and we’re so sorry we can’t be there for you, but we wish you the longest and happiest life. Just know that we will love you no matter what. You’re our Christopher.” It was getting harder to breathe by the minute. How would you do it?

Twenty heartbreaking moments later and it was time. You were sobbing, unable to contain it as you kissed him one last time before Scott handed Christopher over to Steve.

Both James and him smiled down at him, and the pain lessened slightly in the knowledge that he was going to a family that he deserved.

“Thank you Scott and (Y/N), you have no clue how much this means to us, and we will love Christopher for as long as we live,” You gave them a watery smile as they exited the room, taking your heart with them.

“Oh god Scott, what do we do?” you cried into his shirt, clinging tightly to him as he was the only thing keeping you from falling apart. Scott gripped you back, burying his face in your hair to steady himself.  

“We take care of each other (Y/N), and we keep the world safe for our son.”

[ihateeveryoneincludingmyself]

i don’t think anyone I know irl has my tumblr so I’m just gonna vent here.

so in May I met this girl on tinder, and we hit it off super fast and we talked nonstop it was honestly pretty overwhelming because I didn’t remember what it was like to have someone into me. she was trying to move very quickly and I’m very emotionally unavailable so I didn’t want to get into a relationship with her.

we remained friends. super good friends. she even considered me her best friend which I didn’t even know she felt that strongly until we started to fight. thought I was just some dude she talked to when she wasn’t hanging out with her irl friends.

our first fight happened when I realized how deeply she’s into the awful college student drinking partying culture. to be clear because this is something she doesn’t fucking understand, I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DRINKING! I DRINK, EVERYBODY I KNOW DRINKS!! but every week sometimes multiple times a week she would drunk text me random stupid shit like she couldn’t even spell properly and like she doesn’t remember shit in the morning you know like, actually fucking drunk. i can’t stand how people think that’s normal or okay. if you can’t control your drinking then don’t drink. if you can control, then have a couple drinks! enjoy yourself! BUT THERES A POINT WHERE YOU ARE DESTROYING YOURSELF. okay so here’s why I’m extra sensitive about this topic. my parents were alcoholics. also did heroin n shit but yeah I wasn’t allowed to live with them. and every time I see someone fucking wasted, it reminds me of them. i remember my grandpa taking me to restaurants to visit my parents and by the time we finished eating they were drunk. couldn’t even talk to them as a little kid. I lost my childhood due to alcoholism. i know this girl is just a college student partying blah blah blah but it can lead to worse and like.... seriously who the fuck wants to talk to someone who can’t even produce sentences? when you’re that intoxicated it’s simply not healthy even if I didn’t have trauma related to alcohol I would probably still be concerned. anyways, I progressively got more angry with her. i said a lot of things I shouldn’t have . i tore her apart in response to my anger. i hate myself for the way I treated her, but GUESS WHAT? she still doesn’t listen to me. still regularly getting wasted and it fucjing pisses me off because she goes around telling people that I don’t let her DRINK. LIKE SHES MISSING THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT!! IM GOING TO COPY AND PASTE EXACTLY WHAT I SAID BEFORE I GOT INTO DETAIL ABOUT THIS: I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DRINKING! I DRINK, EVERYBODY I KNOW DRINKS!! but every week sometimes multiple times a week she would drunk text me random stupid shit like she couldn’t even spell properly and like she doesn’t remember shit in the morning you know like, actually fucking drunk. i can’t stand how people think that’s normal or okay. if you can’t control your drinking then don’t drink. if you can control, then have a couple drinks! enjoy yourself! BUT THERES A POINT WHERE YOU ARE DESTROYING YOURSELF.

anyways, now as I said she still fucking gets wasted all the time,BUT SHE DOESNT TALK TO ME. but she posts about it on her Instagram story (which I’m blocked from seeing but.... I have my ways🤷🏻), she talks to other people JUST NOT ME. THAT WASNT MY FUCKING INTENTION WITH MY SERIES OF INTERVENTIONS. I WANTED HER TO BECOME MORE RESPONSIBLE WITH ALCOHOL? AND THEN SHE CAN ENJOY A DRINK AND STILL TALK LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING. GOD IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY TO KNOW THAT SHES STILL BEING WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A GLORIFIED ALCOHOLIC, BUT SHE JUST DOESNT DRUNK TEXT ME ANYMORE.

ooh then another fight.... I was venting to an NOW EX FRIEND FUCK THAT BITCH SHE BOILS MY BLOOD JUST THINKING ABOUT HER of mine ..... AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER GOD I FUCKING HATE HER FOR WHAT SHE DID.... DECIDED TO SNITCH ON ME AND MESSAGE THE GIRL AND TELL HER THAT I WAS VENTING. AND SHE MISINTERPRETED AS ME “TALKING SHIT” WHEN I NEVER EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HER IN A NEGATIVE LIGHT. SOME PPL SAID “SHES TOXIC” I ALWAYS FUCKING DEFENDED HER BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH WE WERE FIGHTING I STILL ADORED HER. so yeah that put even more tension on our friendship. AND I DROPPED THE SNITCH GIRL RIGHT AWAY, I WILL NEVER FUCKING FORGIVE HER BECAUSE MY FRIENDSHIP WITH THE GIRL COULDVE BEEN SAVED IF IT WASNT FOR HER. FUCK HER. I FUCKING HATE HER SO MUCH AND NOW THEYRE FRIENDS AND COMMENT ON EACHOTHERS POSTS AND IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH.

anyways, like I mentioned I said a lot of terrible things to her. i was really fucking angry and I said some terrible things which I deeply regret and I tried apologizing and making it up but now already our friendship was messed up.

also, she eventually ended up getting a boyfriend and like, if I said I wasn’t a little jealous I’d be lying but I was the one who rejected her in the first place so 😳😳it’s whatever. but she told her boyfriend everything about me and this guy now hates my guts LOL . ever since she started dating the guy she talked to me less and less.

and during a short period of time when we weren’t fighting I introduced her to a friend of mine and now they talk a lot and she likes him more so YES IM FUCKING JEALOUS AND I FUCKING HATE MYSELF.

but this friend of mine she started talking to leads me to my breaking point. so you know she’s been distant because apparently every time we talk it’s a fight but I’m like BUT WHY?? and this next fight will show exactly how ITS NOT ALL MY FAULT, SHES TO FUCKING BLAME AS WELL!!

so she’s been ignoring me for a couple days after a PETTY FIGHT THAT I FELT WAS LITERALLY NOTHING JUST A SILLY LITTLE FIGHT THAT IDC ABOUT. basically she got mad because I was bullying that friend of mine about his league of legends stats 🤣 literally a fucking video game that she doesn’t like and she’s mad at me for TEASING MY FRIEND.

so I got kinda sad.... like why is she ignoring me??

she eventually responded after I sent her a looong paragraph with some identifying info so I’m not gonna show it. BUT HERES WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE ISNT GONNA TALK TO ME WHILE SHES GETTING DRUNK !!

okay the next screenshot has more identifying details so I’m not gonna share but basically she LIED TO ME SAYING SHE HAD NO SERVICE FOR 3 WHOLE DAYS BLAH BLAH BLAH WHILE I COULD GET PROOF THAT SHE WAS TEXTING MY FRIEND LIKE EVERY CHANCE SHE GOT . HE TOLD ME THEY STILL TALKED AND SHE WAS PURPOSELY IGNORING ME BC IM TOO STRESSFUL FOR WHATEVER. BUT SHE FUCKING LIED ABOUT IT

so basically, here’s how it’s not just my fault . yes, getting angry is my fault I could be a little less harsh. im working on it. BUT THIS GIRL HAS BEEN IGNORING ME FOR DAYS AND THEN LIES TO ME?? COME ON ISNT THAT A VALID REASON TO BE UPSET

anyways this is the last thing I sent her before deactivating my Instagram (I have her number too but we rarely talk on there). but the fact that she said we aren’t friends anymore.... broke my fucking heart. I broke down in tears. I had to stop myself from hurting myself or saying something dumb. so I ended it there.

i tried to hard to fix what we once had. yes, I’m at fault for being a dick and not being able to control my anger. but she’s at some fault for giving me valid reasons to be upset. i tried to hard to fix our friendship. but the more I try the more angry I get. she isn’t going to listen to me. she doesn’t even care about me anymore. it’s over.

ive been pretty suicidal lately. a few months ago I started cutting myself again after years and I hate myself for it. i pushed everybody away. she was the last person I regularly talked to. maybe now I can take a break from the fighting, try to get to a better place mentally, and try to get back in touch with some of my other friends, or make new friends.

idk I’m still very upset but this long ass vent that no one is gonna read helped a lot. this all happened over a few months and today was where I ended it. time to start a new chapter I guess

[thekpopaus]

Series Jin, Chapter One

I’ve decided there will be a series for each member and I’ll probably work on each member at the same time instead of just waiting until I feel like stopping with one member and all that. So basically they’ll be tagged as whatever series it is, for example “Series Jin” or “Series Namjoon” rather than 1, 2, 3 etc, it will be easier to filter those so you can read one series at a time. Anyways, we’re starting off with Jin because he’s my bias! Next up will be Namjoon and we’ll see after that! Feedback is always appreciated and please don’t be afraid to message me about anything involved with the series or just me personally idc. I’m super happy that so many people liked the prologue like, honestly, I thought 15 notes was gonna be about it but last I checked it was like 90? Like, seriously thank you guys <3

Prologue

Word count: 2277

Warnings: Mild language

Series Jin, Chapter One

Jin’s POV

I’m beginning to worry now. She slept all afternoon yesterday, all night, and it was nearing 8 A.M. today. Hoseok told me she would probably sleep a lot but it was beginning to seem like she wasn’t going to wake up. I knew she would, she did yesterday for a few minutes when I was trying to change her clothes. Well, they were more like rags than clothes. She needed to be out of them and she was unconscious so I figured it would be okay to strip her and get her into fresh clothes. I was not, however, counting on her trying to kick me while I was taking her pants off. She was too weak to put up too much of a fight but she almost got me in the face before she fell asleep again.

Namjoon told me I should get some rest but I couldn’t leave her. He hadn’t found his mate yet so he didn’t quite understand the bond. Actually, none of my brothers were mated yet, I was the first of pack. I never really cared too much about the whole mate thing. Some wolves go out of their way to meet as many people as possible to try and meet their mates. I figured fate would bring us together. I wasn’t expecting to find her where we did, but I already forgot how it felt to be without her. She was beautiful, even covered in bruises and cuts.

My bedroom door opened and Namjoon peeked his head through the opening. “So, I uh, tried to make breakfast, something went wrong and uh, the stove is kind of broken…” I kind of appreciated him trying to make food but we all know he can’t cook for shit. He also can’t go a day without breaking something.

“Alright I’ll be down in a minute, I just want to make sure she’s okay.” Gesturing towards my bed, hoping that she would wake up before I left her.

“Seokjin, she’s going to be fine. Besides, it might be better for her to wake up without some werewolf looking at her like she’s a piece of meat.” My jokes were definitely better than his.

Shaking my head at the alpha, I turned back to my mate as the door clicked closed behind me. I brushed her hair from her face for about the sixth time today, picked up her hand and traced the lines on her palm. I hoped my touch would wake her but her mind was still far away from me.

Y/N’s POV

I know I have to work today but I just want another five minutes in my bed. Five more minutes in the warmth before my feet touch that awful cold vinyl floor in my bedroom. Without opening my eyes, I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. It smelled like my kiwi apple shamp-my eyes flew open when I realized it smelled like a man. A very good smelling man, but that’s not the point.

“I must have gotten drunk last night and gone home with someone.” Judging by the sweaters and jackets hanging around the room, it must have belonged to a man. You didn’t see or hear him though.

You couldn’t find your phone in the bed or on the nightstand, but while you were looking around you realized you weren’t wearing your own clothes. Your bra and panties were gone and you were dressed in only sweatpants and a t-shirt, both of which were too big for you and the shirt smelled just like the pillow.  

Hoping you could escape without having to see the man you’d gone home with, you crawled out of bed and made your way to the door, hoping it wouldn’t make noise when you opened it.

It squeaked open a bit, but it wasn’t loud enough to for anyone but you to hear. You must have been black out drunk last night because you couldn’t even remember the house or how to get out of it. There were stairs to your right and what looked like more bedroom doors to the left.

Just as you had taken a step towards the stairs, someone came running up them. He stopped at the top and…growled? It sounded like a growl anyway. He looked to be about your age, he was on the taller side and had broad shoulders. When your eyes landed on his face you froze, the events of the past year and a half invading your thoughts, reminding you that the creature in front of you was not a man. He was a werewolf.

Jin’s POV

It had taken me an hour and a half to fix the mess Namjoon had made in the kitchen. The burner on the stove had come off so that was an easy fix. He had ingredients covering every inch of counter space and the table had five bowls with...well I’m not entirely sure what the hell was actually in them. I cleaned up and made a relatively simple breakfast, it would be lunch time soon anyway. The entire time I felt uncomfortable. Not the embarrassed kind of uncomfortable, but the kind where you feel like something bad is going to happen. Namjoon said his father felt that way whenever he had to leave his mother for pack meets or when he shifted. I knew she was just upstairs but I hated being even that far away from her.

I finally got everyone to the table to eat, letting the fix their own plates I sat down with my own. Jungkook and Jimin got into an argument over sausage and bacon and which was better for breakfast. Yoongi was silent as usual and Namjoon, Hoseok, and Taehyung were talking about the upcoming pack meet. I sat mostly in silence, adding to the conversations when called upon. No one brought up (Y/N) for which I was thankful.

I thought I heard something from upstairs but I brushed it off as me being paranoid and continued eating. Yoongi, however, had stopped eating and sat straight up, shushing everyone else at the table. I didn’t have to strain to hear it this time, footsteps. Someone was in my room. Someone was in my room with my mate.

I was already halfway up the stairs before I heard Namjoon say “Seokjin wait! You’ll scare her!” Wait for what? For someone to hurt my mate again? Not a snowflakes chance in hell.

A snarl tore from my lips when I reached the top of the stairs, warning whoever it was that I was out for blood. I stopped as soon as I realized she was standing there, it almost looked like she was checking me out. Once she looked at my face however, her expression changed and I could smell her fear pulsing with her heartbeat. I reached out to her but she backed away. Her back hit the wall behind her and she realized she was trapped, her heartbeat erratic as she started hyperventilating.

“(Y/N), it’s okay, I won’t hurt you. I need you to calm down, okay? You’ll make yourself sick. I need to you try to calm down, take deep breaths. I won’t hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you. I swear to you I won’t.” I had inched closer to her while I was talking, and she seemed to calm down a bit, her breathing was steadying but her heart still sounded like it was trying to escape her chest. I was standing right in front of her now, fear still rolling off her in waves and it almost made me sick. She was so scared of me. My mate was afraid of me.

“Come here (Y/N), I’ve got you, okay? I’m Seokjin. I won’t hurt you, baby.” She was still scared but I couldn’t stop myself from pulling her into my chest and wrapping my arms around her. She was tense, like she was waiting for me to hit her.

I felt her crying before I heard it, she was shaking and gasping for air in between whimpers. Eventually she relaxed, her hands grasped the fabric of my shirt, pulling me closer as she cried.

It wasn’t the greatest time to be thinking it, but I couldn’t help but feel…right? I felt that everything was right in the world. I had my mate in my arms and I felt complete. Even though she was crying because she was afraid of me, I felt like this was good. It was progress.

The rest of the boys had made their way upstairs by now, but none of them had said anything yet.

Namjoon sent the rest of them back to the table to finish breakfast. “Jin, I’ll fix a plate and bring it up for her. It will be too much for her downstairs right now.” I nodded, still not letting go of (Y/N).

Once I heard his footsteps enter the kitchen, I pulled away, reluctantly, and lead her back into my room. She made her way over to my bed and sat down. Her heartbeat had finally slowed and her breathing was normal other than a few sniffles left over from crying. Namjoon knocked on the doorframe and handed me a plate and a glass of water. “Don’t let her eat too quickly. Her stomach might be upset after it’s been starved for however long.” Namjoon typically hid his anger well, but his eyes flashed red for a few seconds, he was just as angry over what had happened to her. I nodded and he left, and I kicked the door shut.

“Namjoon brought some food up (Y/N). Do you want me to stay here or I can go back downstairs and check on you later?” I hoped she would ask me to stay but I wanted her to be comfortable here, even if that meant without me.

She thought for a moment, and patted the bed next to her, inviting me to sit. She ate slowly, and cleared about half the plate before she pushed it away. “Thank you, Seokjin.” This was the first time I had heard her voice and it sounded so cliché, but it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.

“You’re welcome, (Y/N). There’s a bathroom over through that door if you would like to shower and brush your teeth. You’ll have to wear my clothes until we can find you some of your own. They’ll be to big but they should keep you warm. There are extra toothbrushes and toothpaste in the top left drawer and extra towels in the side closet. If you need anything else, just ask. I’m going to take this stuff back downstairs. You should get some sleep. I’ll bring you some dinner later, okay?” She nodded and made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

She allowed me to hold her and she spoke to me today, so I counted that as a small victory. I know it’s going to take a long time for her to forget the horrors that she’s been through, but I’m glad she’s here now and she’s safe. I heard the shower turn on so I grabbed the plate and headed downstairs.

I told Namjoon what had happened upstairs while I was doing dishes. “You can’t keep that stupid smile off your face Jin. Don’t tell me you’re in love already?” Namjoon tried to joke, but he wasn’t far from the truth. I know I just met her but the bond was weird. I had feelings for her but they were hard to describe. I didn’t feel like I was already in love with her, I felt like I knew I was going to fall in love with her. It’s weird, and Namjoon won’t understand if I tell him so I just shrug my shoulders.

Y/N’s POV

I don’t know why he was being so nice to me, or why I was so comfortable around him. He was a werewolf. The vampires told me that they were going to torture me and eventually kill me. This one, Seokjin, had just fed me and offered me a shower and his clothing? He even had let me sleep in his bed, and encouraged me to do so again. I wanted to believe that they were kind, that he wasn’t going to hurt me, but after so long with the vampires, I had learned not to trust so easily. I don’t have any explanation of why I felt comfortable with him. I let him hug me and I felt…okay?

Showering felt surreal after months of just being hosed down with cold water. My feet still hurt, but they were healing quickly. The cuts and bruises on my legs and arms were almost gone. I didn’t expect them to heal that quickly but they felt better so I won’t question it.

Eventually the water started to get cold, so I got out and wrapped myself in a towel. Sitting on the floor, I let myself relax against the tub, thinking about how I was going to move forward, and if I should trust the wolves. While I was considering my options, my eyes started to feel heavier, and I let myself fall asleep, still leaning up against the tub.

Dreams of wolf pups dancing through fields of green occupied my sleep ridden mind. In my dream, I felt…love for those pups. I felt as though they could have been my own. Confusion swept over me, however, when Seokjin came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “They’re beautiful, our pups. Aren’t they, love?”

Masterlist

[cow1sequester]

EPISODE 3 - “Truly and honestly everyone’s strategies this round is making no sense” - Owen

TWIST: Moral Dilemma (Fewest Votes)

ELIMINATED: Adam (Battle Match) // Austin (Battle Match) // Christian (Wheel of Misfortune)

JARED

I love Raul, if he won I would be happy

OWEN

Okay I’m sorry it’s been a hot minute but here are my thoughts on the first two rounds of the game: First of all WHAOOOOOOOH this cast is STACKED!!! I was pleasantly surprised to see Will and Autumn again. Love my boy Jared. Love Juls, Isaac, Ryan, IAN!!!! Beck and Blake legends.... But then there are also quite a few I’ve never played with before that seemed cool hehe so I’m hype! This first round I focused a lot on connections and Jared and I got together and dreamed up a bomb ass alliance of me, him, Jarod, Autumn, Juls and Isaac. Genuinely love talking to and playing with all five of them so I am hopeful that we all go far. But I did spend some time with other connections as well. I LOVE Christian, he told me he wasn’t the best at typing so I added him on WhatsApp and he sends me voice memos all the time hahaha if my alliance is the brigade then he is the Britney to my Lane <3 love him. Raul is awesome as well. Nash legend. Ian and Will I knew before but haven’t played with in FOREVER which has been fun to catch up with. Will was first in the chain reaction thing and was thinking of giving to Ian and I was like Ian is gonna hold a grudge if u do that why not pick Nik instead !!!! Lmao. It all worked out cause I was safe and the alliance got their way <3 I haven’t really looked for LOS at all I guess I’m waiting for more clues :( I would love to have one but it seems like endless possibilities rn. ////// split here Round two is where shit got interesting because we got split into two groups and suddenly everyone I’m working with was in my house..... 5/9 of us were part of the alliance which was great, but then the other four were Christian my love, Ian and Will my other loves, and Austin.... so right away I tried pushing Austin’s name and even saying I didn’t care if he tries battling me but nobody else on my team had talked to Will at all. Which I was in hindsight fine with doing will bc he hadn’t been around and he wouldn’t choose to battle me :) So I told Christian he needed to be super social and that he should talk to the Jarod’s and maybe to Will so that Will didn’t pick him lmao Then TWENTY MIN BEFORE VOTE WILL  DECIDED TO BE AN ABSOLUTE WHACKASS NUT AND TRY TO CARE ABOUT THE GAME AND FLIP !!!! So I acted like I was gonna help him flip it but as a contingency plan in case we couldn’t and it was him I told him that Austin was easy to beat in challenges xo The whole thing worked, will picked Austin and said he was told to but honestly if Austin comes back and knows I threw his name to will then whatever idc. I protected everyone this week and it feels good <3 except for will but at the end of the day when I’m aligned with 7/8 other people, one of them is going to have to go into battle, and I’m glad it was him just bc he hadn’t been around :(

RAUL

Let's read some bitches: Akeylah - This girl is SKETCH.com I told her I was voting Nathan, she left me on read and like 15 minutes later Nathan came crying in my DMs for what happened in round 2. I didn't have great expectations about her, so I have my eyes on her. Autumn- She's a fuckin CAPRICORN. Sis werk. She was willing to vote Nathan  so that tells me she's willing to work with me some time. Beck- Boyfriend 2.0 His voice... TEA. But then he demonstrated that he doesn't have my back as I would have had his when I told him about what Nathan's plan was. He seems like someone who I'm gonna have to cut on the long run. You can be all cute you want but I'll cut a bitch. Also he's a Scorpio... NEVER trust a Scorpio. Blake - I've working hard for him and I to work. I wish he was a bit older so I could flirt a bit, but him being 18 seems kinda weird. We had a "F2" deal day 1 cause of his introduction video but ain't nobody taking that serious. Christian - A Taurus. He seemed sketch, I def need to talk to him more, but he could be my Tommy and carry him until I can't no more. Speaking Spanish is def a bond he won't have with anyone else. Ian - There's something about him that I want to trust but something tells me he's SKETCH. He's someone I need to read better. Isaac - I do not enjoy him, his humor is like NOT funny and people laugh at what he says? I don't get it. I'd be over the moon to sent his ass home but he seems like someone with some power with some people so it needs to be something done carefully. Jared - Now this is MY baby. I literally love him already. Aquarius king. He's a sadboi, musician, like bitch is really tryna make me fall or something. For some weird reason I trust him too much so I should be careful but for some reason I feel like he should fuck me up. Jarod - Now this is SURPRISE, I've really enjoyed talking to this Aquarius. Are Aquarius my new Sags? For some reason I really enjoy him, also he has all the cast eating his palm so I'm not even gonna try to take him out, unless someone is like "we have the numbers, let's take this bitch out", cause I might trust him but I ain't dumb. Juls - Is she inactive? Nobody has ever mentioned her name for the bad or the good. She made me vulnerable Round 1 and since she hasn't talked to me, she knows what's up I guess cause I'm not forgetting sweetie. Nathan - The snake of the season. I even forgot his horoscope, maybe Leo? He's not dumb, we're probably gonna gun for each other at some point. Fake bitch. Owen - Boyfriend 3.0 This is the flirt that goes the most both ways. I enjoy him, also I think he was a lot of power so bitch I want a ride to jury at least. Also another Capricorn so I have to like him. Patrick - He seems kinda dumb and not a good strategic player but good at challenges, this bitch needs to be gone before he gets more chances at battle thingys. Ryan - He's not the best player obviously so his a great ally, I had Adam therefore I had him but now I have to work for him to like me and want to take me somewhat far also. Will - This bitch is LOST lmao. He's picture screams 4.0 GPA the bitch is scary. I wouldn't mind having him as an ally in a BB but here being a comp beast doesn't seem to work in my favour at all.

JARED

JARED

JARED

going to call with juls tonight, i'm considering letting her know i have the los if i feel confident enough that she won't tell anyone then i might try and call with beck afterwards but I'm not sure yet ideally i can maneuver through the game without much trouble and then use the los in an effective way, while keeping bigger targets around me, that is why this alliance is so good for me

OWEN

Truly and honestly Everyone’s strategy for this round is making no sense to me. I don’t get why people would self vote. You’re literally guaranteeing yourself to have at least 1 vote instead of 0?????? I can see self voting if you KNEW for a fact someone else was voting for you and giving you two. But if a bunch of people self vote....??? Let’s say 11 people self vote and 5 vote for one of those 11. That still means six of those 11 who self voted have the lowest. I really don’t understand why jared thinks that’s a smart idea but whatever. I think my alliance of six should split our votes on six of those ten people. That way it makes a bigger chances some of us get 0 votes because I doubt all ten of those are gonna throw a vote on some of us especially with all this self vote talk. I really really don’t get why that isn’t clear to everyone but whatever. I don’t wanna be too pushy but literally no one but jared is contributing to strategy and I don’t like his plan lmao. If he wants to self vote he can go ahead but I genuinely hope no one else votes for him And he gets himself sent in to the revote lmao

ADAM’S EXIT INTERVIEW

CHRISTIAN’S EXIT INTERVIEW

[sonfaro]

@you-me-and-the-force-between-us Thank you for your rebuttal.  My response will be similarly long, and tumblr is being annoying so I’m switching to a new thread.

“Normal behavior isn’t always guaranteed by everyone. That’s life. Of course there are always going to be outliers of people who don’t think as they should. But they’re small compared to the number of people who CAN make these differences, so making comparisons like these are not only hurtful, but useless. It doesn’t matter WHAT language you use, somewhere out there–is going to fan over a serial killer or want to become one, because it’s not about language, it’s about personal experiences.” It DOES matter to those who are left behind.  To those who’s people are routinely NOT treated in this way.  Infantilizing dangerous white men at any level of media sets a tone.  To see that kind of behavior follow into fiction and NOBODY have a problem with it is beyond bizarre to me.  I’ve had friends locked up for far less who never got treated like the children they were, so forgive me if I’m a little sensitive to the subject. “People who sympathisize with these types of people are either going through some sort of fucked up, I’m edgy 100%, phase that they’ll grow out of or have some serious mental instabilities. It isn’t the media’s job to walk on egg shells with language,“ It’s the media’s job to present the truth with no spin.  When they do things like this, it absolutely poisons the well.  There’s no one to blame for his crimes but the monster, but there are people to blame for how that monster is viewed by the masses. “This other rhetoric about what’s being said and how it compares to fiction–it’s bullshit. And let’s be honest here for a second–just honestly speaking–looking through OP’s page you can very damn well tell this post isn’t done with good intentions in mind; it’s a clear attack on a group of people under the facet of being a good citizen who truly cares. Which also pisses me off.“ In what way?  I’ve literally seen someone claim that Kylo is ‘young’ and ‘doesn’t know any better’. That sort of language does exist amongst the fandom. “(I’ve seen people call others abelist for using the word crazy on this hellsite, but idc either way) “ You’re sympathizing with the villain is all.  Which is fine, “ Clearly it isn’t??? Because that’s OP’s point. That’s what OP has a problem with, saying that we’re like criminal sympathizers because we sympathize with a villain–so YES I agree, I’m JUST sympathizing with a villain IS ALL, nothing more. That’s the point.“ OP’s point is about the language being used: the infantilizing and woobifying.  I can sympathize with Erik Killmonger, but know he’s a grown man and his end in Black Panther is justified.  I’m not going to say “He’s basically a teenager lashing out” or nonsense like that - which IS a thing that Kylo stans have said. “ALSO JUST SO EVERYONE’S AWARE. This ISN’T the media saying this.“ Matt O’Donnell, listed below the lawyer in OP’s post, is a reporter.  He lists the killer’s status as an orphan (with no reason), his young age (with no reason), and suggests he had a ‘troubled’ background.  These are softening social cues. And the media doesn’t have to make these quotes the headline.  It is they who present these quotes as a worthy title for an article. “Darth Vader is one of THEE most popular villains of all time, and most people ADORE baby-fying him.” Not canon Darth Vader they don’t.  If you want an Alt universe Kylo (like Emo Kylo Ren) it’s whatever.  That's a separate idea. “He was Kylo BEFORE KYLO EXISTED–he’s WORSE than Kylo–so where’s all the hate there?“ I disagree.  Vader was a tool for the Emperor.  Kylo IS the Emperor now.  And the hate is largely gone because in canon Vader died sacrificing himself for the hero.  “Why isn’t the majority of the world turned into serial killer supporters by now?  A. The majority of the world isn’t into star wars.  We’re a big fandom, but the world is bigger B. and the majority of Vader’s fans don’t try to justify his actions.  He’s liked because he makes a great foil for our heroes. Why isn’t OP making a comparison to Darth Vader and attacking his fans? Again, Vader’s fans generally don’t make excuses for his actions. Because OP has an agenda to attack Reylos and make them seem like horrible people, because that’s just the way the shit rolls on Tumblr nowadays.  Agreed, he definitely does. “[...]Committing a crime due to violent media, is far less easy to prove, and there has been no direct connection thus far.“ Right, but your post flat said “It isn’t true”, and that has not yet been determined.  Hence my post. “All of these still prove my point–media alone does NOT transform you into a violent person UNLESS you already have a predisposition to being violent (like a history of abuse or a mental illness etc). It ISN’T true until you have enough statistics that back up your claim, and this doesn’t. What’s unhelpful, is not being well researched in a matter and making blatant claims. “ But I didn’t make a blatant claim about video games.  I literally said the jury was still out.  In response to you flat saying it wasn’t true.  -_- “The media compares Hux and FO to Nazism because there’s a legitimate comparison to make (I know some SW fans disagree with me, but there is blatant Nazism parallels imo), because that was done PURPOSEFULLY. They took one evil regime irl and were inspired by it to create a fictional one of it. Every writer and design EVER takes inspiration form real life things to create something, eve villains. But let’s give an example here of a rational comparison and a shitty one:- Hux is like a Nazi (this can be confirmed by the imagery in SW, and background information, etc)  - Hux is like a Nazi and therefore if you like Hux you like the Nazi party and therefore you’re a Nazi apologist. Hux is a Nazi and you’re a Nazi apologist.“ This is a bit of a straw man.  You’d only be a Nazi apologist if you thought Hux’s POV were correct.  Once more, liking a villain is fine - liking them to the point where your sympathy leads you to defend their views and actions is another thing entirely. “Saying that someone who likes Hux or the FO is like someone who might have agreed/sympathized with the deaths of millions of people is a HORRIBLE, inaccurate comparison to make (also Hux is LIKE a Nazi and Hux IS a Nazi are two different things, “ Again, that’s not what’s happening here.  OP is talking about a specific action (how shippers talk about Kylo). Not liking the character in general. “And if you’re going to make the point that forcing yourself into someone’s mind is akin to rape, and therefore Kylo’s a rapist (and therefore Reylos are rape apologists–no lie i hear this shit WAY TOO much) then guess what?Obi-Wan is a rapist.Vader is a rapist.LUKE is a rapist.”  I mean Vader definitely attempted to force himself into his daughters mind in ANH.  Dude was the villain.  The jedi mindtrick is more deception than anything else - morally suspect but not a painful violation unless there are more than one person doing it at the same time.  Which is the actual term Pablo Hidalgo prefers for what Kylo does to Rey in that scene - a violation. “She (or he idk and idc tbh) is basically insinuating that Kylo Ren sympathizers cause school shooters sympathizers.“ Or vice versa, that the media and how damaged white monsters are portrayed is the reason Reylo’s see Kylo as sympathetic.  Which was what OP’s excuse was IIRC.  Personally I think the fault for both lies more with societies internal preference for white dudes, but that’s my take. “//Also–just for future notice–I don’t suggest ever using a Buzzfeed article to support your claim because your credibility will go right out the window. Buzzfeed is a pandering shitfest that is really written more by biased bloggers than actual reporters. I suggest using articles without bias and an actual good writing team and reputation.//“ I mean at this point that’s every news organization ever - least in America as far as I can tell.  You can barely open a paper or watch the news without someone's opinion’s being clear.  And it’s hardly the only article: https://www.salon.com/2016/01/12/we_need_to_talk_about_ben_kylo_ren_star_wars_and_the_media_narrative_of_the_mentally_ill_school_shooter/ https://www.theverge.com/2016/1/1/10698090/emo-kylo-ren-star-wars-parody-twitter http://www.forcematerial.com/home/2017/11/5/we-need-to-talk-about-kylo https://geekmom.com/2016/01/trying-not-to-raise-kylo-ren/ Kylo being compared to real world evil isn’t new.  Shoot, there’s a bunch that link Kylo to the alt-right as well.  Double shoot, Adam Driver himself straight compared him to terrorists.  Kylo gets compared to lots of real world evil people.  It’s going to happen. “Yup that’s definitely what happened. It wasn’t like he literally saw Luke about to kill him in his sleep“ No, he LITERALLY saw Luke post realization that he was in the wrong but still holding his lightsaber (like an idiot) and jumped to the conclusion his uncle was going to attack him.  Luke’s behavior (which is a character assassination if I’ve ever seen one, but that’s an argument for another time) also happens only after peering into Ben’s mind and seeing nothing but evil.  Ben then definitely attacks his uncle after that - from his point of view in self defence, sure - but from the overhead view an unnecessarily. “Oh no–wait, I was wrong:“ ...the article LITERALLY lists him murdering the kids.  -_- “Oh so I guess it’s like I said before–people PICK AND CHOOSE their biases!! There is a UNMISTAKABLE comparison between Vader and Kylo FOR A REASON–the two ARE very much alike. But Kylo is a shooter and Vader’s tragic and grand?? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THIS BULLSHIT.“ Uh, yeah.  Vaders complete arc requires six movies at two hours at least each to tell.  It’s pretty grand (lofty, big, etc).  His heel turn alone is a culmination of three whole films.  Also, the article presents Kylo as tragic as well, with Drivers portrayal being described as:  “a mixture of pain and hurt so raw it threatens to rend the fabric of the series every time he's on screen“.  Did you actually read it? “really made me want to pluck my eyes out. Holy hell my dude, why did you use this as a reference when it’s so clearly just—bad?? I think I lost five years of my life.“ Because it’s another example of Kylo being compared to the evil that is a school shooter.  Again, it’s not the only time, and it’s not the only horrible evil he’s compared to.  OP was insensitive about it though, given recent events. “And I want to make this clear–I don’t give a single FUCK if you don’t like Kylo Ren. That your opinion.“ I like his character a lot actually.  I think he makes an excellent, compelling villain based on Adam Driver’s work.  My issue is people attempting to pretend he isn’t one, or that his past trauma absolves him of ANYTHING he’s chosen to do, or that anyone owes him anything at this point, or pretending that this 30 year old man’s childishness can be justified at all.  My bigger concern is that sort of thing happens in the real world for folks just like Kylo and that the two often sound exactly the same. “ I CARE when you bring real people into stupid fictional shit and say “You’re the reason why this is happening. It’s YOUR fault things are this way” I don’t think that was OP’s point at all.  Least as far as he’s said. “ESPECIALLY when fiction is used right after a real tragedy like this. “ THAT I can agree with.  Dude was insensitive. “ It’s disgusting to be compared on ANY level with someone who might do something like this–and again–it isn’t true. “ No one compared you guys to the shooter.  How you TALK about the villain was compared. “ Read up on mental illness, debate gun control, read up on what actually causes school shooters to occur, look up psychological studies of BOTH sides, not just what Buzzfeed says–they aren’t accredited to make those calls in any way.“ The article I listed didn’t list the causes of school shooting at all.  Did you just skim it? “STOP accepting this shit behavior my dude. It ISN’T OK or educated AT ALL. It’s downright stupid.“ The behavior I don’t accept.  The point - that dangerous young white men are coddled both in and out of fiction - is all too true though.

[survivor-themyscira-blog]

TRIBES SWAPPED AT THIS POINT. 

charlotte make this fucking post already before i combust

YES THIS IS SO PERFECT!!! I WAS SO FUCKED ON THIS TRIBE! NOW I GET A SECOND CHANCE TO NOT BE A FLOP LETS GO LADIES! GOD BLESS

LMFAO LMFAO ME JORDAN AND LILY ARE SAME TRIBE ITS OVER ALREADY WE GOT THIS

I AM WITH LOGAN NUT NUT NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I'm away from Madeline and Joradn and Toph and :( I'm worried! But I chose Kai so that's fun hopefully he'll stick with me fjndsfjsdak I'm gonna try to bond with Madison oh my this is a mess

A 3-3 split on this tribe, I need to find an idol just in case, I'm not willing to go to rocks for Toph and I'm sure he is not for me. Lets see how this goes, Madeline exposing me as her friend already. Lets just win my Hippos, I don't want to go to tribal.

Jaiden.... on my tribe again.... I like him but.... BUT... BUT he talks too much he's going to ruin my game GRRR. Hi Jaiden I love you but you WORRY ME

Ugh I'm like REALLY emo I was separated from Jordan and Madeline what the FUCK we got the best scores WE DIDN'T EARN THISjdjasfklas i miss them rip. and now like everyone on my tribe is.... asleep. They're like ALL europeans. GET UP U FUCKS I NEED TO TALK TO U Also I'm going to make an alliance with one representative from each country and call it the United Nations... I'm just working on it okay it's going to happen

WAIT FUCK IM AWAY FROM RHONE TOO WTF... I didn't think this through last night but honestly my second choice was Logan for the thing (first choice because I wanted him over Kai but I was scared of Madeline and Jordan) so like this wouldn't be very different but ugh. Toph, Rhone, Jordan, Madeline, and Ruthie (I forgot to talk about Ruthie I love her) are gone and I'm EMO AS HECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NICHOLAS IS PLAYING THIS GAME? I knew this but forgot, I remember he as INACTIVE and got a strike during the selfie round, eventually I hope I can get on his tribe I know he would tell me if he heard my name.

Um another thing. I'm so happy to be on a yellow tribe. I love yellow it's the color of positivity and sunshine and that's me

WOW THIS FUCKING TRIBE SWAP! WHAT THE HELLFUCK! THIS IS SO GOOD! Okay, so. Accordan to Jordan, Rhone wants to work alongside me JP and Nicholas, which I would be fine with. We're also excited for/planning to work with Jack as the trio of Jordan and his students, so... This is probably the most secure I've been all game. I was good on the Hippo tribe, but now I know for sure that I'm alright. But there's one other thing that excites me here, and that's our challenge potential. Sure, that's a general good thing, but it's super cool in my case for one specific reason. I've never been to a premerge Athena tribal. Watch my streak continue.

Time to work my charm on this tribe HOPEFULLY I can find someone trustworthy to work closely with! I've played a game with Ian before and I mean, I thought he didn't like me after but we've talked since then a little and I'm excited that we have another chance to play and maybe start over, he may be the number one to tell all my tea to that I'm looking for!

On 10/16/17, at 10:46 PM, Emily wrote: > hi!! On 10/16/17, at 10:48 PM, Madison 🐷🐷🐷 wrote: > hi! On 10/16/17, at 10:48 PM, Emily wrote: > how are u!! It's currently 11:38pm. Good talk, Madison ;)

Hello my mates! 18 Castaways are left. So, the Swap happened and I am okay with my tribe so far. I get along well with Emily, but I'm a bit concerned that she picked Kai to stay on her team. I'm cautious around him. I'm back with Amanda and I don't really trust her anymore lol, but for now it's best to stick together, especially after what she's been through in the vote. But for now, I still want to talk a bit with Madison and Logan. I feel like I'm not the first target at the moment with a clear group of 2 in play and the old target on Amanda's back. I don't have that much to talk about yet, but I'm keen to get a bit more social now - last week was very heavy on the irl side. But I'm happy to be on a tribe that's so european. :D Cya soon~

Ahh this tribe is pretty lit. I feel really safe within it. I have logan, Emily, Andreas and Amanda ahh this amazing Time to win a game

https://youtu.be/TKydLkGHuNc

I miss having people be awake and I’m awake and having an active tribe wtf happened I hate

I really need these Europeans to wake the fuck up why was I put on a tribe with ALL OF THE EUROPEANS WHAT IS THIS FDMJKLSAJLK I just want their input on the song ideas and they're absent because they're sleeping and I get that but also FUCK THAT WTF I just want to get started with this challenge I'm excited and energized and avoiding doing my homework

I just love Logan

So I'm definitely happy with this new tribe. Lily, Jordan and Nicholas are all people I wanted to work with on Hippolyta so for them to all be here means that we can lose a challenge and probably be okay! I'm completely indifferent towards Jack and Raymond honestly. I'm so bad at connecting w people sometimes especially men, idk why. I'm just slow to warm up to people I guess. I HATE music video challenges because I'm really busy IRL and don't have time for this shit quite frankly. Idek what I'm gonna contribute to this challenge yet so I guess I'll just have to see what I'm able to do tonight.

OKAY NEW TRIBE WOOOOO! Rankdown! Emily - THE SWEETEST SWEET BEAN. Obviously I want to work with her going forward. She'll be my new like f6. She'll beat me past that, comp queen. Kai - My literal son? I love him. He's a good one, and I wanna see if I can make this hoe my goat. I'm not going to be a goat this game, but I'll see if I can be a goat farmer :~) Madison - My inactive queen. I can EASILY make her my goat. I know she _can_ get far in games, and I'd like to take her there again. Hopefully I can make her loyal and keep her out of the crosshairs by feeding her limited information. If she thinks I'm gonna just tell her shit, I can hold onto that relationship for a long ass time. Andreas and Amanda - Both of them talk to me about the same, and these are my first targets to go. While they're both sweet, I don't think they'll end up being much help to the tribe, aside from Andreas winning reward for us. Amanda didn't even guess, not that I'm shocked. I told people this would happen. They didn't believe me. I'm never fucking wrong.

ok so im hella bored at school 1. i am super stoked about the new tribes still! this is GREAT! i have been put into that hippo alliance which makes me think that i am in a p good position bc they see me as a semi-inactive goat type but they also need my vote to keep majority for now so im gonna keep on doing me ~ 2. the reward disadvantage thingy is probably good. it lets us most likely go to tribal and vote someone out which usually isn't a good thing but now i can use my vote as currency to prove loyalty! 3. this challenge? is perfect for my game right now because it lets me participate for once and prove i am an asset to the tribe for now! people are usually reluctant to submit for lip syncs but idc what people think about me so u know my dramatic ass will submit! ok thats it for now yeehaw

I’m on mobile so I can’t quote rn but Logan: Can we just make a pact now Logan: we’re not letting Jordan pines get anywhere near the end of this fucking game Listen, I know he’s right, but... UGH I NEED TO LISTEN TO LOGAN WHO I KNOW WILL BE A BETTER ALLY TO ME jwnjwwnjwnwjwn maybe Jordan will go out pre merge so I don’t have to show anyone my cards regarding him lmao but who can never be sure????

Was awesome to not be given the disadvantage, I'm not sure what all went in their decision as to who to give it to but glad it wasn't us. This challenge is the most dreaded aspect of these games for me. I'd rather have winterbells two rounds in a row than a music video

I feel like this is a school group project that I do my portion for but then I don’t get the portions from any one else until an hour before class. I’m gonna cry tbh Europeans please it’s like 3-4 your time WHERE IS UR SHIT and like literally this song is only three minutes long the least you can do is record yourself lip syncing to the song and upload it to YouTube and send me the link I’m SCREAMING

Okay Amanda is at the emergency room that’s um a very valid excuse but WHERE THE FUCCCCC ARE KAI AND MADISON?? Andreas and Logan told me they were filming later today but @Madison @Kai HENLO U STINKY TRIBE MEMBERS WHERE R U

Omg SO I just got out of my American History class and we have been talking about WWII so my teacher is talking about double agents and this guy called Garbo and I’m literally sitting in class thinking ... this is a genius strategy to use in Survivor I’m crying!!! So like basically I’m going to be Garbo, posing as a German and feeding the Germans accurate information up until D-Day where I fuck everything up for the Germans and get right with the British. D-Day meaning ... the day we take out Germany's closest ally. Germany meaning literally any person I want to screw over and British being ... probably Logan and whomever Logan and I want to work with. See like this would work out better if things were actually happening in the game wkwjwjnsja ... I don’t think much is happening on my tribe (at least I hope not) like I haven’t been put into any alliances so that’s :-/ there’s probably an alliance I don’t know about and they’re plotting against me and I won’t even be able to use my cute Garbo strategy. Also like this is an old and flawed strategy I’m sure but IM JUST TRYING TO BE GARBO OKAY he’s an icon and tbh a very big reason why the Axis Powers lost WWII so we all need to appreciate Garbo. Also if this dude’s name isn’t Garbo then my history teacher told me wrong and I’m just looking really silly but my history teacher is a woke bitch so I trust him. Thank you Garbo for doing the good shit and also inspiring me for this game lol

Anyone want to learn more about Agent Garbo? Um here are articles: http://www.npr.org/2012/07/07/156189716/agent-garbo-the-spy-who-lied-about-d-day https://www.mi5.gov.uk/agent-garbo HISTORY IS IMPORTANT!!!

On 10/19/17, at 3:30 PM, Emily wrote: > hey!! are u able to record videos for the music video challenge? if u can’t it’s no big deal I was just wondering On 10/19/17, at 3:30 PM, Kai . wrote: > Unfortunately not... i did mention it in the tribe chat already xD > Sowwy hun On 10/19/17, at 3:31 PM, Emily wrote: > it’s all good!! OH BITCH I DID NOT NEED THAT FUCKIN ATTITUDE this is me hinting to Kai that he should ... send in a video lmao. I get that like he doesn't have much time but three minutes P L E A S E it's going to be so weird if our video has three people in it! I'm getting Madison to send in a lip sync too (possibly) so that makes me not frustrated with her but like ....... Kai with this attitude "I did mention it in the tribe chat already xD" SHUT THE FUCK UP use REAL FUCKING EMOJIS and then he calls me "HUN" BITCHD FJKDSJFKAS I love over reaction but anyways our video is going to be weird because like Logan, Andreas, and I are the only ones who have submitted stuff!!!!!! UGLY!!!!!

I actually had a lot of fun filming for the challenge! Wish I could've gotten that bass line down a little better...smh I'm really surprised about Jordan. He's like a Sour Patch Kid -- first they're sour, then they're sweet. I just hosted him in Island of Shade and it's funny how I went from literally having his bitch ass blocked after House of Shade 9 to now where we're allies and kind of...friends? He's really matured in the couple of years we've known each other and it's actually really sweet to see. I do feel like he's a great ally for me because he's stronger than me in competitions and I crush him in any endgame scenario presuming I don't totally bungle my social game at the merge (and there's a non-zero chance of that happening tbqh). He's a genuinely good person even if he is kind of irritating at times. I'm like six years older than him so of course I'm gonna find him irritating lmao. Can't really say much about anyone else on this new tribe. Just not getting a great vibe from Raymond, Jack hasn't really tried to talk to me, and I trust Lily and Nicholas but they're both pretty inactive. I feel like Jordan and I are kind of the heart of this tribe right now, which hopefully means if we do lose this challenge we'll be safe. I just really hope someone I wanted to work with in this game doesn't get swapfucked tomorrow! :(

Here is the first draft that I’m submitting a confession to prove that ... only half of our tribe has submitted and we have five hours unrbabsjwbwjwb https://youtu.be/idbuRp73rig I’m literally,,,, CRYING what the HECK where is EVERYONE PLEASE HELP ME why can’t kai submit like wtf. Logan also told me not to expect much out of Madison so WOOHOO!!! I LOVE LOSING IMMUNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HONESTLY the main thing I've learned from all this is not to listen to what anyone has told me about other people.

Logan

YASSSS MY FIRST IMMUNITY WIN! I DON'T HAVE TO PLAN A TRIBAL COUNCIL! OR NOTHING! I'M SO HAPPY! Prayers for my boy Raymond but yAS!

This is amazing. I was worried that if we lost and i didnt actuallt participate thered be a higher chance of me being voted out but i still feel super safe and in a good position with everyone!

Yay I’m glad we won! I am excited to watch all these!

The Men Lips came out with that WIN HONEY! I’m so happy! How did we do that I’m really shook. I have such low confidence in myself I really did not expect out tribe to win wowie snabajbanan now I get a day off! How fun! I’m sick rn so like that’s good all I want to do is watch Buzzfeed Unsolved and wait for this announcement that Charlotte/LA/JD were talking about earlier.... hmm. If we’re tribe swapping AGAIN I’ll cry sksbsjsnsjs but honestly? Not so bad. I don’t really like my tribe too much but of course I love Logan lol. And Andreas is cool. Anyway YAY WE WON

“i liked the knives and the cat. i also liked the girl waving around the knives. that was the highlight for me.” I WAS THE HIGHLIGHT FOR HER SJJSNSNSNS IM HONORED

Also fun fact: my dad yelled at me for using his expensive professional binoculars because I didn’t put them in their case correctly when I like put them up lol. But it was worth it honey we won-y

Hello again! There's a rainbow outside my window right now. https://i.imgur.com/1KZpEFA.jpg BECAUSE WE JUST WON IMMUNITY! I really didn't expect that since I didn't give it my best, but oh well... I am not complaining. :) Emily did most of the work, props to her. Logan contributed as much as I did. Amanda, Kai and Madison are MIA - even in chat for the most part. But that won't matter too much right now. Also yay, it was fun winning the Reward Challenge by punishing that cheeky A1 placement. CHECKMATE ANTELOPES! There were no Antelopes in Ancient Greece. And soon there won't be any in Themyscira. I am already a bit scared about the next Challenge, but for now, I'll have a relaxed evening. Also, if Madison doesn't start doing much soon, we'll have an easy target SHOULD we go to Tribal Council in the near future. See ya again in Round 4 :)

okay so going into tribal tonight i feel good! i have my og hippo alliance of 4 and then i have good enough bonds with raymond and jack to where i dont think that they would come for me if given the chance. the logical thing to do is to vote out someone who didn't contribute on the challenge, but i know that isn't going to happen because if the og hippo alliance falls apart then that leaves a lot of room for uncertainty. however i do know if we go to tribal more than 1 more time after this i will be the next one to leave the game because i am the lowest on the totem pole for the og hippo alliance. it sucks and i don't want to do it but i think i have no choice but to vote with the hippos damnit

( AS MADELINE )

Wow Madeline is annoying huh?

Oh my god that last confessional was ME djxjsjdjf

(((((Host: bitch >.> ))))

Love Antiope turning into the new Copa... not a good run so far. I'm siding with the Hippolyta majority to vote out Raymond, and after that, me, Jordan, and Lily will become the majority if we have to vote someone out again. Or maybe I'm just gonna get voted out and then I'll just die. Who knows.

[meet-me-at-kingsmeet]

Found this in my drafts**:

*clears throat* May I present the idea: ~✨Ella Enchanted au✨~

•Laurent is from a very well-to-do kingdom

•Auguste died (idc how)

•Akielos took a bunch of land after that

•When Laurent was born his aunt Vannes gave him the “gift” of obedience

•When Laurent lost his family he was left to live with his Uncle and his uncle’s men (man? Idk how to fit the evil step-sisters in so like twin Govarts??? LOL)

•His uncle tells him that he isn’t allowed to protect/hang out with Nicaise

•Laurent needs to go break the spell Vannes gave him,,,,but she’s in the neighboring Kingdom of Akielos partying it up •Jord and Lazar are elves that need help in the woods •That scene where the elf in the movie is telling Ella how to fight the guy? That’s happening between Lazar and Jord at Laurent (cause the obedience thing) •He helped and now that they’ve realized he’s the little brother of their beloved dead prince Auguste they must help him!

•Half way thru their journey some of The Regent’s men came after Laurent •They tie up all three of them and then after they told Laurent to lie still and not move, they realized he wasn’t going to move??? Not at all?? •"Well he’s pretty hot so we might as well..“ and are going to attempt to rape him buuuut •Weeeeeeeee The Beloved Prince Damianos~ of Akielos comes in and rescue! •"Rape is not a noble man’s cause! Release the beautiful maiden! (Think of the corniest Prince Charming thing ever and that’s what Damen says) •Laurent can’t roll his eyes but if he could HE DEFINITELY WOULD •They all travel together as Damen says he can help them travel safely to the next town (it has nothing to do with the fact that Laurent is a beautiful blonde) •Laurent is annoyed but he lost his horse during the kidnapping and commotionso now he has to travel w the hott Prince Damianos of Akielos

•they reach a Vaskian town with GIANT WOMEN •it’s great honestly,, •anyways Laurent gives Damen a stern talking to about his country stealing land and how slavery is evil because not having freedom of what you do is the worst thing in the world (he knows, his obedience curse has caused him enough terror to last a lifetime) •Ugh they bond it’s really fuckign cute bc Damen listens to him and never TELLS Laurent to do anything

•Side note: Pallas is also a giant for shits and giggles so that Lazar can date a giant Pallas,,,that’s the funniest shit I’ve thought of today

•Laurent thinks he MIGHT have a crush and he is fully ready to kiss Damen bc all or nothing •until Damen starts talking about Jokaste and their engagement •Laurent -very angrily,mostly from heartbreak- leaves after that w the excuse of •"you’re more of a bother than anything. I’m supposed to be on my own quest and you’re keeping me from it. You’re a born and bred slave keeper” or something mean like that

•Laurent can’t shake the feeling tho that something was going on in Damen’s kingdom after they spent all night talking about Damen’s life •Damen is like “wait no! Beautiful maiden wait! •Laurent HAS TO WAIT BECAUSE OF THE SPELLSBJSDBJD •Damen is like "come back with me, we can talk to my brother about the slavery and the land that belongs to Vere” •Laurent is like ‘mmmm very interesting tht u choose the moment I am mad at u to use low key commands when asking me things *eye twitch* very,,, interesting’

•They arrive at Damen’s palace and wow •wow, Damen, really? •Laurent can immediately tell his brother, Kastor, is running everything •And that Jokaste is totally swinging between the two of them •"Don’t you find it suspicious how much power Kastor keeps asking for? He doesn’t want you doing anything it seems.“ •"Nah Kastor is just trying to make sure I feel less stressed as my date for crowing to be King comes up” •Damen is clueless, or just chooses to be out of denial and loyalty

•The Regent knew where Laurent was headed bc his men saw Damen arrive and reported it •So the Regent gets there and tells Kastor about Laurent’s special predicament

•Kastor calls Laurent in and makes him do a bunch of shit from jumping up and down, to striping, to speaking only in an Akielon (a language he doesn’t even kno) •Laurent is exhausted physically and mentally •He can feel his heart break when his Uncle reveals himself in the room and tells Laurent that he will kill Damen and allow himself to be tried and killed for treason (and isn't allowed to tell anyone about the plan)

•Laurent has Jord chain him to a tree so that he won't kill Damen

•Unfortunately Vannes appears in front of him, and she's like 'omggg hey kid what r u doin here?'

•"Take this gift back imma about to do something horrible to the man I love. I'm demanding this one thing. Please.

•"Did I chain your butt up to this tree? No? You don't like this gift? Get rid of it yourself."

•Then Vannes is like, "now go have some fun and get down with the prince" •she frees Laurent and dresses him up in a beautiful white Veretian formal wear. •He's looks gorgeous ANYWAYS

•Laurent travels back to the palace straight into Damen's arms (to be fair he tried his best not to, grabbing on to tables and dragging them and whatnot)

•His face is scarlet and he's scared but he's trying his best not to feel that way •Damen is like "I wanna show you something"

•And Laurent HAS to follow him but he really doesn't want to, he doesn't want to hurt Damen •Damen leads him to his mother's secret garden

•"Why did you take me here?" Laurent says but his mind is like 'this is really private oh god no one will try to stop me'

•Damen and his big dumb stupid heart is like "I realized that I love you. A lot. And I like that you push me around and tell me when I'm wrong or blinded to certain things. You teach me to think past what I know and it makes me a better person. I know it will make me a better King. And when I'm King I want you by my side. I want to marry you."

•Laurent is having an inner panic attack but he's only trembling slightly and he's trying really hard not to cry

•Laurent is like "No I can't"

•"Why? Do you not feel the same" •"I need to leave, let me go"

•"Tell me the truth." •Laurent can feel the spell forcing the words out his mouth like vomit. He chokes out a "I want that. Yes. I want you."

•Damen is beaming and he pulls in for a tight hug

•Laurent can feel the demand of his uncle and Kastor.

•The knife is at Damen's back and he is remembering everything everyone told him in his life. But mostly, he remembers his brother who told him before he died: "What's inside you, Laurent, is stronger than any spell"

•Laurent lets himself cry as he repeats over and over, louder each time, "I will no longer be obedient"

• the knife drops and Laurent collapses •Laurent is in shock. He didn't see that Nikandros came in to get Damen and saw the knife at Damen's back. Damen is also in shock staring at the knife on the ground

•Nikandros has Laurent arrested and Damen is like "Laurent how could you try to kill me" •Laurent is like "no wait Damen! There's something bigger, about your brother! He's trying to kill you. Him and my uncle."

•"My brother would never try to harm me" Nikandros makes an angry, unsure face at Damen but he sends Laurent to a cell.

•Anyways Nikandros meets Jord who is like "you fuckface release my prince he's not the one behind this" and after some hardcore convincing and loyalty on Jord's part (and a tiny crush that Nik has), Nikandros (with Jord, Lazar, Pallas, and a BUNCH of Vaskian women) goes to Laurent's cell to let him out.

•"Jord better be right about you, snake"

•They go to the crowning, they defend Laurent as Kastor tries to have them all arrested

•Laurent explains himself to Damen as they fight against the guards together

•Kastor reveals how he killed their father and that the crown rightfully belongs to him cause he was first born and blah blah

•anyways Kastor tries to fight Damen but Laurent fights him. And wins. He dies.

•The Regent is like "Laurent I demand you stop this right now. You will come home and face the charges of treason for this country and your own."

•Laurent is like "I don't have to do anything you tell me anymore. I'm in control of everything I do. You no longer own me"

•The Regent gets arrested for treason against King Damianos (later he is killed 😚👌🏽)

•Laurent no longer has a spell that forces him to obey what anyone tells him. Damen is no longer under threat of being murdered by his own family. Lazar is dating giant Pallas. Nik has a DEFINITE crush on Jord. Slavery is over.

•They all break into song and dance of 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' and they all live happily ever after~💖✨✨✨

[ts-crossroads]

Episode Ten - “I’m Allowed To Talk To People Without It Being Shady” - Ryan

Ok that was the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what was supposed to happen and by fucking up drafts I was referring to John Coffey leaving. I don’t even know why I’m still here; everyone sucks but people are counting on me and I just- men are awful. Just when women almost had majority the first time all game. JUST WHEN REBECKA AND I WERE FINALLY WORKING TOGETHER!!!! Himalayas mom and dads I wasn’t apart of that you have to believe me!!!

Dammit dammit dammit https://media.giphy.com/media/aJWbodHJSZ1g4/giphy.gif I'm always blindsided, never the blindsider. Idc who Rebecka's voted in the past that's my sister and I love her AND WE WERE FINALLY ON THE SAME SIDE!!!!! She even apologized about the Ned vote. My Athena parents raised me better than to turn on my sister but clearly John's did not. Fucking John Coffey- he's such a liar and Ryan is a sneak and Haley is both but Chris is probably stopping her from taking me out (thanks fam) but does it even matter?? Because clearly I'm playing for 6th place and headed out the door anyway so what does it even matter. And Jake. FUCKING JAKE. I can't- I thought I could trust him and I forgave him for the Chris thing. But then he goes and does this???? Hey Jake,  piece of advice? Anytime Fatum calls you to talk game DONT PICK UP THE PHONE YOU KNOW THEY'RE ONLY CALLING CAUSE THEY'RE SHADY AND ALONE. You didn't need to make that move right now/ it was a ceasefire!!!! So now aaaaaaalll the hard work me and Sam put in to not be on the bottom AND to give Imperium a majority in this game just went up in flames but Jake sweeeaars he's still with us and he didn't mean to betray us https://78.media.tumblr.com/9a76394ed7ae897087ddb6c1cc1f214a/tumblr_n9hk2t8jdn1sfct0qo4_400.gif I got news for you kid: once an ugly always an ugly

Hiiii you can catch me sweating out all my organs if I don't win this immunity cause I always go home in a 5-2 blindside :)

Hmmm okay. Dane won immunity this round which didn't really phase me because I wanted to wait until the f6 to strike at him anyways, but this takes away a target from the Fatum 3. It was way too quiet after immunity results and I felt like something was off, so I talked to Dane and he told me that the Fatum 3 told him that I was pushing for him before he won immunity. So mama snapped and told him that they were the ones who were pushing him to go, and he told me that he believed me. Even though I like John, I have to lie to him this round. I'm scared of going into the final 6 with the Fatum 3 in tact, because I think that they will all choose each other over me, and all their work to get on my good side seems to be just for a temporary alliance. It sucks being the lone Optio in between 3 fatum and 3 imperium. I hope that Sam and Autumn are more loyal to me than they are to Dane since he flipped on Ned round one, but who knows. Our hope is that Haley is the least likely to get idoled if they have one. I don't know what I'm going to do after this. I want Dane out next but Ryan says he has an idol and who knows if Sam or Autumn would want to vote him out. 

Ok I just wrote the longest confessional and it all disappeared so I'm angry and now my replacement confessional will be much shorter, sorry about it. So Jake flipped on me and Autumn last round. He voted out Rebecka, after we worked so hard to bring her to our side. Me and Autumn were pissed but we realized we have to do 2 things. 1 we have to make jake think we aren't mad and he is our f3 still. Because if we show any signs of distrust, he won't help us anymore. And 2. We need to solidify something with Dane. We made an alliance chat and it's been going really well so far. Jake and Dane came up with a plan to stage a fight in the tribe chat, so that it looks like my side is distancing ourselves from Jake. This will hopefully cause Ryan to confide more in Jake, who will hopefully turn around and tell us what the other side is planning. I'm pretty sure they're writing down my name tonight, and I don't have an idol. I'm relying on him to be loyal to me on this one. I want to vote Ryan, because the more I think about it, the bigger a threat he is. He got both Dane and Jake to flip on me to vote with him. That would be a huge statement if he was against me in FTC. As much as I want Ryan out though, I think he still has an idol. We tried to get him to flush it last round by voting out John instead, but since Jake flipped, he didn't play it. Therefore he probably still has it. So this round we are stuck voting out Haley, hoping Ryan plays his idol on himself. AND hoping Jake votes with us this time. We told Jake that we are telling the other side his name, in case they try to come to him about us. I think with Jake flipping and the fight between the two, it would be somewhat believable. Also, as I am typing this confessional, I am talking to Haley. The convo was very annoying. First she asked about the vote, I told her Jake. She then goes on to complain about feeling on the bottom. BITCH. I have been on the wrong side of most of the merge votes. The only one where I got my way was when I played an idol on myself. So for Haley to be trying to make ME feel sorry for HER! I am heated. Also, Jake just let me know that she used quoted messages from me saying his name. She literally has the worst social game, and I hope she feels on the bottom :) We are all voting her out tonight and I hope it works out. I'm going to be upset if I end up in jury tonight, but at least I'll be reunited with Ned and Bryan. I miss those two soooo much. Also I have these two coins that I have been impatiently waiting to trade in for anything and Owen keeps postponing it! I won't be in this game forever Owen, help me out pls!

This round has been crazy. The twist is definitely big and having a light tribal we can finally see who is truly loyal. Dane is one of the biggest threats and he needs to go. Autumn is just here. Sam is the main target and if everything goes as planned tonight then it will be a 3-3-1 vote and if idols get played then autumn will be the one to go when everyone really wanted sam. Dane is one of the shadiest players. 

People make it clear they talk to me when they've already talked something through with someone else. Haley idoling Jake with John? Already talked about it, when even bother asking me when you know what you want done. Dane, Autumn, Sam haven't talked to me and although I love 2/3 of them I just don't want to be lied to or fake talk today. I think I'm just going to play my idol on myself. I've lied a lot this round to Jake and Dane about them shit talking each other. If Dane sent receipts of me to Jake I could be screwed. I tried to blame it on Dane but... I don't think I was that convincing tbh. And last round Dane hated me because I told Rebecka that Dane wanted Julia out. Go fuck yourself Dane??? like.... you said all day you were going to talk to Rebecka about it, I'm allowed to fucking talk to people about this game without it being shady. I've even told him when he was targeted, I've told him  EVERYTHING and all he does is call me shady. My dream F3 is John and Haley. I suspect a F2 with a jury of 9. 

Okay so I'm over working with Ryan at this point. After the Rebecka vote off I confronted him about how I haven't been able to trust him and the bitch just tries to flip it onto me saying how I'm the untrustworthy one when I literally called him out on lying straight to my face. ALSO Ryan the Rat decided to trust Haley over my word? I've known him for years and Haley can barely keep her eyes open during tribal council, why would he trust anything that Haley says over me? After this conversation he realized that all I've done is try and benefit OUR games while he's been playing selfishly and trying to gather his numbers so he would have people on HIS side instead of our side.... what a bitch. Anyways I won my first every individual immunity challenge in my tumblr survivor career and it secured my best placement in tumblr survivor so I'm REALLY HAPPY!  And I was apparently going to be targeted this round, which isn't surprising considering the amount of titles I got in touchy subjects lkasgmklasdglmsd. So now for tribal council, as much as I would like to get rid of Ryan, the people that I'm working with right now (Jake, Autumn, and Sam) are a fucking mess and can't consistently stick to a plan. They told Haley, Ryan, and John that they're voting out Ryan, John, and even Jake.... like sis.... So I told our side that they're going to be so suspicious of all the names that they threw out so Ryan's going to be playing his idol, most likely on himself or John, so Jake and I came up with the plan to target Haley since she already has a half idol as well and she's the least likely to get targeted in this vote. So I'm Praying by Kesha that the plan to get out Haley goes through xoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxo gossip girl. 

Battle of the side bitches

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePOHiarNNJI

[survivethearctic]

SAM’S JURY SPEECH

I think with this game constantly going to rocks and changing targets the majority was ever changing. What did you do to keep yourself in the loop and part of that changing majority?

And in case that's not enough, give everyone on the jury a genuine compliment (and I mean genuine not just "icon, Queen omg").

Roxy’s Response: Hey sam :) I know you probably aren’t considering voting for me and you have your winner clear in your mind but I’d like you to at least consider my game.  The thing about my game is: I didn’t really need to stay in the loop to survive. And when i did i was in the loop. The moment i became in the loop was the day i started tryna get you out and jay went out instead. how was i in the loop? i had carson as a loyal ally to tell me things like how nicholas voted with us and not pippa. I was aware who was close to who. nicholas x carson  sam  x pippa sam x nicholas ( a bit)  sarah —> sam but sam still wanted her out lmfao mostly cause of pippa i feel.  

Before i didn’t really need it. I didn’t need to vote in majorities.  If i needed it i would’ve been out long ago! but I’m in f3. I was aware when i needed to be. I was utr when i didn’t need to play it up and overplay!   Why did i need to be part of rocks knowledge? lol rocks are dumb they are risky! you can loose your closest allies! the goat can leave ur f2 can leave. Why on earth would i wanna be part of a rocks pact?  The only time i was aware of rocks was the day jay left. Getting you out was something i thought was important so i decided to risk it going to rocks to try getting you out. There was no logic to keeping you in. you were part of a side i wasn’t part of. we barley talked and when we did it was made clear we didn’t see eye to eye.  before that vote. i didn’t need any of it! i was aware pre merge through shea  and through my alliance  with sarah and kjay and i was aware of darain’s targets (lol he was super vocal about them) and when it was time to stop being utr, the day my meat shield got voted out, that was the day i became aware. carson came to me and suggested to vote sarah out. she was my ally she was in an alliance with shea and i. I led votes on the  game’s threat or  at least the game’s threat’s ally (pip is the threat). Pip told me she voted  you. through carson and sarah i learnt that it was nicholas who voted with us. more from carson. now lets think about that fact. I learnt more about the game from the guy i allied the day before than from the girl i was allied with since day 1? i was able to form a bond with someone and make myself seem  trustworthy enough to  depend on and to share information with after only 1 day of talking?!?!  now who says i got no social!!  When votes started flipping on carson i knew  but i vote with carson 1. to stay loyal and 2.  in hopes there was any chance of saving him.  even though he was gone i was still law aware. everyone’s  targets were clear in my eyes.  when i wanted you out over pip  cause i knew you were better at challenges and pip deserved at least 4th place and sarah wasn’t up for that? i was informed about it by nicholas. when i didn’t need info i didn’t need it.  i didn’t search for it. when i did need it it came to me and fell on my lap! i didn’t even ask for the  information! ppl just came to me! lmfao.

rob: I talk to you now  and you are geunanley super fun to talk to. You are smart and fun and I’m sad we never got the chance to work with in this game. I hope to become close to you cause i see a best friend in the making. 

Jay: you are chilled cool dude. loyal to your allies and admirable for your sacrifice for sam. You are fun to talk to and you were fun to be hosted by. You seemed to have a  solid game with solid allies. unfortunatley i wasn’t in the position to be one of them since we started the game in starkly different situations.

Julia: you are honestly so beautiful. not looks bu personality. Yo usay what is on your mind and you don’t take shit. i admire you and the moments we genunaley talked were the highlights of my game. Being your fight buddy was fun. being your ally was fun. I enjoyed sharing the same name with you although julia isn’t my real name lmfao.

Carson: oh god mate where to begin. I owe you so much. Im so glad we made up from wonderland. In wonderland i was too stubborn and only saw one target on my mind. i wasn’t foexible enough to let myself work with those from the other tribe because i feared the numbers and the premades. Im so gal dee were able to work if even for one tribal in this game. You were edu not talk to and a great ally while it lasted! You were the kick i needed in this game and I’m happy to finally be able to call you my ally in a way i wasn’t able to in wonderland! 

Stevie: I honestly don’t really know you. I can’t praise you with false praises when idk what makes you you. I hope to change that going forward since we are in a new game together. I hope to see what your allies saw in you and why people wanted to keep you around as long as they did :)

Shea: seriously. no words describe what you mean to me. you are my no 1 since arabia. you fought through many orgs with me and i can’t than your loyalty enough. Its not meta our friendship. every game you are a blast to talk to. seeing you get further and further each game excites me. slapingthe haters is my hobby. You are beautiful boy and I’m so glad to have met you. You are gonan win a game one day because you deserve it. You will probably even win one before me! I hope that even after our org passions die we can remain close!! Take care of yourself and find something irl that makes you happy <3 l u 

ryan: From the few convos we had i really enjoyed em. you say lol like me which is iconic . I didn’t really get to know you too well. We didm really get to be too deep of allies. But you seem like a great person.

Pip: honestly i really enjoy your company. when we talk i have fun. I enjoyed our time together when it lasted. even when we weren’t on the same side you were fun to talk to and you  were amazing to watch. you slayed so bad and i admire you so much.  we tend not to talk much pre merge and start of games based on the past games with played. idk why we didn’t  get too into each other at the start. it was osorta awkward at first but as we got deeper into the game it was easier to talk with you.  and i feel like i got to know you a bit! hope to get to know you as a person more  though because still have a lot to learn from you!!

sam:  The few times we talked you seem super kind. You were kind and bright and intelligent. You had a way with people and you were able to have peole so loyal to you they risked rocks for you.  because of this i tired to talk with you but we never were able to see eye to eye and I’m sorry that the game’s scenario’s didn’t allow us to be closer. We started off on diff tribes. random.org even put you at the bottom of my favs list during the first swap lmfao and yet you still managed to be in the most liked group. says something about you as a person :P I’ll pray for another game with you and this time we might have scenarios where we can depend on each other! id love to see how that feels :)

Sarah’s Response: Heres the thing. I knew there were people in this game that would always be the first to throw out a name. I knew who they would tell, and I always made sure I was close with the people surrounding me. It has been proven on multiple occasions that Pippa decided the vote. She was always the first to throw out a name, and we always did a recourse of that. Either going with her, or going against her. For the majority of the time up until the Jay vote it was with her. Vs after that when I really started to go against what she was saying. Its always good to just keep your enemies close, which is exactly what I did for the majority of merge. While Pippa was calling the shots and painting a target on her back. I kinda just sat back and made moves to counteract that when needed be.

Here are some compliments coming your way so watch out http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/021/971/saltybae.PNG

Rob: For someone of your age, you play these games exceptionally well. You always give me a run for my money and I can tell you have so much drive and passion for these games and you are always improving with every game you play.

Stevie: I always have a blast working with you in these games and getting to know you more and more. TB TO WHEN YOU U WERE THE ONLY ONE THAT DRAFTED ME IN R&R!! MY ONLY TRU SUPPORTER Never forget as well, that you are a true cutie pie.

Ryan: I have said this in my ROP but for someone who played his first game you did SO WELL! Honestly you did better than me in my first game and I am so proud of you. You were loyal (which I totally appreciate and respect) and you went down swinging! Good job man! :~) [3/14/17, 3:07:52 PM] Sarah: Julia: Ive played bangladesh with you, ive played this game, and india. Honestly I love playing with you sometimes more than I like playing with Ned. You are super loyal and are extremley hilarious. We just connect super well and you're just one of my favourite people in this community. p.s next time you get drunk on a call with me and karen PLEASE LEARN TO GET OFF AND NOT COCK BLOCK ME BINCH (is this going in a text post? oh well idc) :~)

Jay: I said this in my ROP but I am so glad I met you! Youre someone I def love in this community because you seem like a standup, genuine guy. Youre funny to talk to and you and I just mesh so well together.

Carson: Your motivation is ridiclous. When something knocks you down you get up, dust yourself off and punch back ten times as harder. I appreciate and respect people like that. I really do. I'm susprised you're not sitting in ftc rn thats how motivated you are.

Shea: YOU ARE THE SWEETEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET. I am not kidding. Youre always happy and even when you're not, you still give off that vibe. I legit was so gravitated towards you and your personality throughout the game I was like!?!? omg. Seriously youre a cutie. Oh hot damn

Pippa: Hi pips, youre such a strong player that it scares me. You had the physical and social and strategic down pat in this game. So much so that I felt intrigued but mildly threatned. Pls take it as a compliment because not a lot of people threaten me. Strong strategic girls are my kink truly and if  our roles were reversed I would have had a hard time not voting for you to win. I honestly think youre gr8 af

Sam: You said not to call people queens, but honestly.....you and I both know you are one. Whenever you and I play a game together were either facing off against eachother or working together and its fun to have the push and pull in our friendship. You are so smart and strategic that I legit want to copy some of your moves from previous games, thats how much I look up to you. Seriously you amaze me with how youre always able to make it to the top. UHM HELLO I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION how GORGEOUS you are

Fucking Nicholas’s Response: