#ideal bedmate

[asassydork]

I just want a traumatic little bed hog who’s part furnace and makes small happy noises in their sleep because they know they’re not alone. The kind that doesn’t snore or steal blankets and that reaches out to make sure you didn’t leave because you do that to them too. The kind that you can play with their hair without disturbing their sleep and who doesn’t mind a little sneaky-sneak. And that falls asleep almost right away when they lay down and faster if you’re there with them, content to not being alone. Also the kind that falls asleep randomly in your presence because they’re so relieved and relaxed around you that sometimes they can’t help it. The truly trusting kind who never questions your motives and who supports you despite your weirdness and the chaos in your head.

Why is this so hard to find?

[risuola]

DO YOU WANT MY FINGERS? — F. READER x GOJO SATORU, who cannot stop twirling the god damn pen

You really needed to rest. You just wanted to sleep the day off, forget about the series of misfortunes and turn off your mind, but Satoru, your classmate just had to practise his pen spinning abilities.

cw: smut, Satoru and reader are students, fingering, Gojo is a menace, as usual, teasing, fingering, reader discretion is advised — 1,9k words

Can he stop?, you wondered, your mind racing like a sports car with the accelerator pushed to the floor, successfully rendering all of your efforts to relax fruitless. So many little things went wrong that day, so many failures that in themselves weren’t even that significant, but once accumulated, they created a tension in your body that you wished you could just sleep off. You hoped for the night to wipe away the concoction of not one, but two missed busses and a long run in the heat of the summer, the curse that was meant to be at most second grade but turned out to be first and exploding in purple goo, the fact that the room that ideally would have two beds, has just one and your infuriating colleague, now bedmate.

Gojo Satoru.

You had no idea what was his point in twirling that goddamn pen in between his fingers. Maybe he wanted to change his career path into becoming a circus artist or maybe he just wanted to annoy you to death – in both he had high chances to succeed. He clearly wanted to make you explode. That for sure was it, because the pen time after time fell from his hands, hitting the wooden floor. You lost count after the twenty sixth failed attempt of whatever the hell he was trying to accomplish, other than driving you completely insane.

Driven by the desire to break his neck, you flipped in the bed and took a quick glance of his form, fully ready and prepared to scold him, but then, your eyes landed on his hand and the voice got caught up inside your throat. Satoru has pretty hands, you always knew that, but somehow never paid them enough attention to notice how incredibly long his fingers are. You found yourself hypnotized by the way his lengthy digits worked all over the pen, twirling and twisting it between them. Skillfully bending and sliding against one another, using all of their slender length to make the movements effective.

Suddenly, you found yourself curious; your mind drifting into forbidden territories of rated thoughts, that you couldn’t, or maybe didn’t want to, push away. As you watched, hypnotized, how Satoru’s fingers were working their way around the pen, you wished to know if he’d be just as skilled using them in other ways? Would he be able to softly pour his magic onto your body, working them through your skin instead of the plastic? And how would they feel inside of you? For sure he’d reach into places you couldn’t yourself, for sure he’d-

“Y/n, my eyes are up here,” his voice snapped you out of your trance. “God, what got you so invested?”

“Nothing,” you muttered, exhaling deeply to ground yourself. “You’re annoying me with this pen, can you stop?”

“I’m trying to destress myself. I have to have my hands occupied- wait, were you looking at my hands?”

“No, Gojo.”

“Are you attracted to my hands?”

“How did you get annoyed and attracted mixed up, huh?”

“Don’t be shy now,” his face brightened with mischief as he grinned, wiggling his digits in the air. “Do you want my fingers?”

“God forbid you lay those on me,” you scoffed, trying to brush him off as you made an attempt to turn away from him, but he quickly rendered it fruitless by grabbing you by the wrist and pinning you down.

“Woops, I guess I just did,” he chuckled; one of his legs between your thighs as his body hovered above yours, making you wonder what the hell was happening. “Might as well go a little further.”

“I will knee you in the nuts if you don’t back off,” you threatened, but once again his chest, and whole body, shook with laughter.

“You can’t do that. Infinity, baby.”

Gojo and his goddamn infinity. A short tsk escaped your mouth, before he placed two of his fingers over them, brushing them ever-so-lightly along your upper lip, then lower and down the chin, painting a little s pattern with his, surprisingly soft, fingertips. His own lips never faltered from the menacing smirk, as his eyes focused on where he was outlining your features.

“So, tell me, where do you want them?” His voice now an octave lower went straight between your legs, you could feel yourself throbbing at the very thought of what he could do to you just by touching. “Here?” He peeled down your bottom lip just slightly, creating an opening for him to slip a fingertip into your mouth. “Nuh-ugh, don’t be mean,” he purred when you made an attempt to bite his digits off – the last signs of your dignity talking, before your body surrendered. “I assume it’s not here. So maybe… here?” With his finger now brushing just slightly over the swell of your breast, teasing the embarrassingly hardened nipple through the thin fabric of your sleeping shirt.

“Gojo-“ you tried to put some warning into your words, but he cut you off quickly.

“I’m not holding you, sweet thing. You have more than enough strength to push me away, we both know this.” He was right, and you hated it. Yes, he was above you, his thigh resting between yours, but other than that, he wasn’t exactly keeping you captive in his grip, because there was no grip whatsoever. Sending mental profanities at your own direction, you failed to notice his hand shifting downwards and you only realized it when your body jolted at the sudden pressure applied over your clothed clit. “Oh, it’s here where you want them, huh?”

To admit was way above your current state of self-respect, so you said nothing, trying to join your legs back together, to hide the wet patch that soaked through the soft, light-blue cotton, but to no avail. The more he stroked his fingers along the outlines of your folds, pressing little circles of tease into the swollen bud, the less control and clarity of mind you had.

“Use your words, will you?”

“G-gojo, please-“, you nearly whined.

“Yeah? Tell me, is that where you want my fingers?”

“Y-yes,” that was the most humiliating thing you’ve ever said, and you were certain that the consequences of it will haunt you for as long as you live, because Satoru was surely never gonna let you live that down, but at this particular moment, you couldn’t care less. You’ll be embarrassed later, now you needed to feel those sinful digits inside.

“Good girl,” he praised, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your jaw. Satoru was full of content, watching you lose your composure piece by piece right before his eyes, and he tried to take mental picture of every stage you went through since he began his teasing torture. From the soft frown that made your brows crease in the middle and your pretty eyes narrowed, sending death stares; through denial – the looks pointed away from him, the delicate tension of every muscle and clenched teeth and the current one – the most adorable flush that spilled over your cheeks and nose, the slightly nervous chew on your lower lip and those same eyes now lost, confused and yet, full of want. What he’s used to see in you was your every day calm, perfect composure and lighthearted approach to life and now, as all of those began to break, taking down the façade of carelessness, Gojo felt the swell of his confidence and ego. And the twitch in his pants.

“There you go,” he nearly whispered, slipping effortlessly into your underwear and the sudden contact of his skin against your aching, throbbing clit made your entire body shiver with anticipation. Satoru shifted his body to your side, placing his own down to be more comfortable, now sure that you won’t push him away. “You’re so wet. So wet and it’s only because of my fingers?”

“S-satoru…”

The grasp you took around his forearm could probably break a bone, but Gojo felt nothing, too consumed by the sweet whimpers that were escaping your lips as he was stroking the letters of his name right into your clit, time after time making your thighs tremble with pleasure. You were so incredibly wet, so worked up that it surprised even you how easily he made you unfold.

You could feel his hot breath fanning over the sensitive skin of your neck, where he was nipping at slowly, murmuring soft praises interlaced with the filthiest of things that could sound so sexy only slipping over Satoru Gojo’s tongue. His skillful fingertips brushed a little lower, gathering your slick and teasing your entrance painfully. You felt yourself clenching around nothing, needy for what his hands have to offer and he was quick to provide. One of his long fingers slipped into you with ease, entering your warm walls and pushing a breathy whimper from your throat. Satoru reached so far, way further than you could ever even try to reach. And then the subtle burn from the stretch came, when the second finger followed; the heel of his palm pressed tightly to your clit. With the way he moved in and out, pushing and pulling at your nerves, curling his digits inside of you and pressing every oversensitive button along his way – all of it was driving you insane.

The stars were overflowing your vision, the glittering particles of pleasure dancing right in front of your eyes and you couldn’t even care about keeping yourself from breathing out his name. The heat searing at your core spread throughout your entire body, setting it alight with its sparks. You felt like a volcano was erupting inside of you, the hot lava now flowing through your veins instead of blood, pumped sharply with the deft movements of Satoru’s fingers.

A surge of pleasure electrocuted your system, seething tendrils of blissful lust followed every push and pull of his digits. Your thighs began to tremble, your walls were contracting rapidly, clenching around him. Your breath got caught inside your lungs and those stars before your eyes began dancing around, blinding you with white.

“Think you can take the third one?”, Gojo asked, his mouth right next to your ear before he bit onto the petal of it. He challenged you with the question but wasn’t expecting the answer for it. Something incoherent slipped through your lips, following with a moan when he added another dose of stretch to your throbbing pussy, filling you to the impossible levels with the third fingers that still, slipped in with ease. He was almost too much, it sent you overboard with the excitement that got you spiraling into the bliss, head first, full speed. Your entire body tensed, your hand clenched around his forearm, but he didn’t falter from the torturous pace he’s set. Orgasm began overtaking your body in waves of ecstasy that was rushing through you every time he moved.

Your entire form shook underneath his touch, your mind was a blurred out, hazy mess and you were getting lost, drowning in the waves of climax and as he curled his fingers once more, pressing the most sensitive spot inside your velvety walls with all of his might, the knot in your stomach snapped. His name began escaping your mouth unknowingly, breathlessly repeated like a prayer, feeding into his ego as you came all over his hand. The orgasm came with the intensity that shot you straight onto the cloud nine, overwhelming you completely. Your eyes closed shut, your breath was racing just as the heart in your chest.

Gojo slowed down, leading you through the high and eventually, he pulled his hand out.

“Ah, what a mess you made,” he teased, smearing the milky white residues between his soaked fingers. You could barely hear him, but you didn’t need to, to know that he’s gonna tease you for that forever.

[my-naughty-writings-and-musings]

Continuing to work through my writing slump, have some saucy Earthspark Bumblebee x Reader headcanons as I do so! Let me know what bot to write for next and please like/reblog!

1. He's either a flustered wreck or the one turning you into a flustered wreck, there is no in-between.

When he's on the receiving end you'll find it only takes a little bit of dirty talk to have him blushing and stuttering, and if you hop on top he'll melt into a purring pile of bot for you to do with as you please, happily allowing you to take the lead. Gentle, teasing touches have a similar effect, and if you sneak a few in public it won't be long before he's doing everything he can to get the two of you somewhere private. Thick walls will be a must since he cannot keep quiet when you get him riled up. Expect lots of needy moans, and plenty of mewls, whimpers, and literal purring once he's taken care of. Snuggles will also be a must, ideally with a fair amount of petting on your part.

When he's the one doing the teasing, however, things are very different. He'll use his size to his advantage, effortlessly maneuvering you as if your tiny organic body is weightless in his grasp, making a point to show off how big and powerful he is by comparison. While doing so he'll flirt relentlessly, alternating between praising all your features he loves most and teasing you for getting so hot and bothered. His definition of "private" is also much looser, so don't be surprised if he settles for ducking down an alley or hiding behind a grove of trees if the two of you are out in the woods. He'll be just as loud, but you'll hear a lot more growling than groaning. Cuddles will still be mandatory in the afterglow, but he'll be the one doing all the petting.

2. He loves it when you grab his horns. They're only a bit more sensitive than the rest of him, but there's just something about having you holding on that really does it for him, especially if he's eating you out. It doesn't hurt that doing so typically puts the two of you at eye level, and if you meet his optics and squeeze at just the right moment you might get him to overload hands free.

3. He's a bit of a light sleeper, but he's quite ready to have some midnight fun if you happen to wake with him, which you probably will. His considerable size makes him rather hard to ignore as a bedmate. However, he's notably more open with his affections while sleepy, so you'll be woken by a cuddle happy bot who offers to make up for waking you with lots of oral. Few can say no to a midnight face ride from the Scout.

[apomaro-mellow]

Guitar!Steve 2

In the early hours of the morning, Eddie was sure he was still in a dream. What other explanation was there for the crazy hot dude in his bed? Then the other man made a sound and turned around and the memories of the previous night came back to him.

Eddie immediately scampered out of bed, stumbling a bit and grabbed his pants. He pulled out the smooth, black wishing stone. He pumped his fist, not believing his luck right now when his bedmate made another waking sound and his eyes fluttered open.

"What are you doing up?", Sweetheart asked.

And Eddie didn't really have a good answer with for that but he stammered through the attempt anyway. His Sweetheart just gave him a sleepy smile and patted the empty space next to him.

"Come back to bed~"

Eddie practically pounced right onto him. He was only human. But his Sweetheart, strong and solid, only let out a slight 'oof' before wrapping his arms around him. He kissed Eddie's cheek, then his chin, then kept going lower.

"Feeling affectionate?"

"I know you don't like early mornings."

Eddie hummed as his hands stroked up and down the other man's sides, just feeling but still not fully believing. Then Sweetheart started kissing down his neck and Eddie felt himself drowning deeper and deeper into him when someone pounded on the trailer door.

"Eddie!"

"Shit!", Eddie hissed, very reluctantly pulling away from his lover. Another voice called his name and that confirmed it. His friends were at the door. Probably looking for him. Because he definitely told Crash he would call him back and then he...didn't.

Eddie looked to Sweetheart, lying in the bed, looking confused but also extremely fuckable and why had he moved away from him again?

"Dude!"

"Eddie!"

"We're coming in!"

"Shitshitshit!"

Eddie resumed what he was doing, which was putting on pants. In his haste he just picked up the jeans he wore last night and slipped them on. Going commando in his jeans wasn't ideal, but it was all he had time for before Jeff, Crash, and Gareth were barging into the trailer.

Eddie came out of his room to meet them and they froze just inside the door to the trailer.

"Uh, hey?"

"You just get up man?", Gareth asked.

"Where's the stone?", Crash demanded to know.

Jeff was looking at the ceiling. "Please zip up your fly."

Eddie looked down and saw his bush peeking out from his pants. "Didn't know you were such a prude Jeffy." He watched his hairs as he zipped up.

"Why didn't you call back last night? What happened?", Crash asked.

"I uh, got a little distracted..." Eddie stuck his hands in his pockets while figuring out exactly how to break the news to them. He was saved by that by the sound of Sweetheart moving on his creaky mattress and calling out his name like it was a siren song.

Eddie turned, and the other boys leaned over and craned their necks to look through Eddie's ajar door.

"Ohhh", Jeff nodded.

Gareth looked like he bit a lemon. "Eddie? Seriously? You get laid and forget to call back?"

"Give him a break", Jeff said.

"Can we just-!", Eddie held up his hands. "Wait here!" He left the dissonant voices in the living room while going to check in on Sweetheart.

After explaining who was here and getting him into some clothes, and putting on a shirt for himself, the two of the rejoined the group at large. The others looked confused as to why Eddie was presenting the guy instead of kicking him out.

Eddie put on a t-shirt, still going commando. Sweetheart had put on a pair of his boxers, which were a little snug on him and a tank top. It fit but only because it was a bit big on Eddie in the first place.

"Alright, Sweetheart, these are the boys, Crash, Gareth, and Jeff. Boys, this is my uhhh guitar."

Crash's hands went to his forehead and he pushed his hair back. Jeff's eyes were bugging out and Gareth was looking back and forth between the two of them.

After a cacophony of disbelief and better explanations, Eddie sat down on his couch with a weary sigh. He barely gave a reaction when Sweetheart sat in his lap, he just put a hand on his hip.

It didn't seem to matter to either of them that there was more than enough room on the couch for them both. Jeff couldn’t take his eyes off the guy.

“Okay, so this is your guitar.”

“Sweetheart”, Eddie said. It didn't seem right to just refer to him as an instrument anymore.

“Yeah, okay, but weeeee can’t call him that”, Jeff said, swinging an arm to the others.

“Yeah, he needs another name. A human name”, Gareth clarified.

“At least while he’s here”, Crash agreed.

Eddie didn’t really like the implication there, that Sweetheart wouldn't always be around, but he conceded that he also didn’t like the idea of anyone else using the pet name. He needed a name that wouldn’t raise too many eyebrows.

"What do you think, Sweetheart?"

"I like what you call me", he whispered only to him, twirling a curly lock around his finger.

"Yeah, but do you want anyone else calling you that?", Eddie asked in an equally low voice.

They kept talking in low whispers, in their own little world. Pretty much ignoring the other people in the trailer.

"Do you guys need a room?", Jeff asked.

"Well we DID have one before you broke into my home", Eddie pointed out.

"Can we just figure out what to do about this?", Gareth asked, looking like he was about to collapse.

They spent about ten minutes deciding on what to call this man and eventually landed on the name 'Steve'. Eddie's brows rose at that but even he had to admit there was something oddly fitting about it. His Sweetheart had looked like a killing machine in guitar-form, but was capable of tender, mellow notes.

Now as a human he was just as capable of multitudes. So he was here, he had a name, now Eddie needed to find out how to make his stay permanent.

Part 4 coming soon

[goodnightwrite]

Beautiful Burden to Bear || Blade x Jing Yuan

Ren is not an ideal bedmate, but he is beautiful. Raven-haired, with alabaster skin and a face utterly striking in its androgyny; Ren is a Classical Beauty by Xianzhou standards, if one ignores the scars, the viciousness, and the hint of fresh blood clinging to him like an iron perfume. And Jing Yuan does. Jing Yuan is smitten.

In which Blade keeps returning to Jing Yuan’s bed at the end of the day, and that really is the least of Jing Yuan’s problems.

>> AO3 link >>Ko-fi link

[nightwardenminthara]

oc in 15

tagged by @space-writes tyy ive spent my morning reading ur fics coincidentally <3

Rules: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

gonna do gideon!!

"Unfortunately, I remain dedicated to you. Because I’m in love with you and have always been under the impression bedding another would be a betrayal of that."

"But when we... do it, it will be love-making, right?"

"Apology accepted. There is no 'fucking' or 'dicking', chaste as a cloistered sister, as I said. But you do seem the type to enjoy that sort of thing. Fereldans. You've been here too long."

“I’m sorry. I’m drunk. Ignore me, I’m not acting like myself.”

“You’re terrible.” Gideon repeats, smacking his palm flat against Rodaine’s chest just to touch more skin. “In front of a cloistered man nonetheless.”

“I wouldn’t. Then he might tell me what you say about me when I’m not around. And I can hardly handle what you say when I am.”

"If I could stay at your side, I would. I would never leave it."

“I’m scared. I’m so scared.”

“I would retrieve it for you but I’m afraid I’ll come across something ghastly or perhaps things aren’t fully, um, taken care of. Not that I doubt your abilities. But truly it would be no bother if you wanted to come and look. With me.” A pause. “Or not. You don’t have to.”

"I can't be just your friend and your... bedmate. I can't. Please don't ask that of me. I-" He breathes a shaky breath, still gripping Rodaine tight. "Can't be only your friend and... bear to see you every day."

"Why am I here? You pulled me from my friends, my work, my position in the Circle for what? I can't wait around until you decide you forgive me. Or if I can, I can at least do it from a distance that doesn't hurt so much."

“You will be the first person I tell if I get a mortal papercut or maybe roll my ankle gathering herbs.”

"Personally never go near the thing myself, I'm as chaste as a cloistered sister."

You should see my room. You would hate it. I have a whole corner for prayer and I’ve discovered my grimoire is perfect for pressing flowers.”

"I didn't mean like that, you dirty..." he grasps for the right word, "Heathen."

from a mixture of AUs and roleplays

i will tag @sinquisition @aztarion @transprincecaspian and @foxboyclit

[fanfic-enthusiast]

Creature Comfort (Cotl Foxtau fic)

A gift for @thotfulsuccubus 

~

It feels like it had been ages since Ratau first made his deal with Fox. His life for repeated ‘favors’ upon Fox’s request. It... surprisingly not the worst deal Ratau had ever made in his long lifetime. 

When you had the power of a god there were plenty of deals struck after all, but the clarity of losing that power made him look upon those choices in a new light. And in some ways he knew he couldn’t forgive himself for some of the things he’s done. 

So getting his back blown out on a regular basis by the Fox that would have murdered him was far from the worst thing he could imagine himself agreeing to. 

Occasionally, when Fox’s appetite was sated, they would even partake in softer activities, like right now. 

“Stop squirming.” 

“I will when you stop squeezing me so tight! I can’t breath!”

Fox was curled up in his bed holding Ratau tight to his chest like a child holding a teddy bear. With how strong Fox was it felt more like Ratau was getting slowly crushed than held like a dear toy. 

He loosened his grip and Ratau took a couple large breaths. Gathering himself before he was once again pulled, more gently to Fox’s side. 

His large red body curled around him, enveloping his small brown body in thick red fur. Soft to the touch despite smelling like woodland undergrowth. It was a smell Ratau had come to... grow comfortable with. 

A large clawed hand gently ran down his back, from his head to his tail making Ratau relax farther into the red fluff of his bedmate’s tummy. 

“There we are my pet. Nice and relaxed, don’t I take good care of you?”

“Mhm.” Whatever helped him sleep at night Ratau supposed. Though this was very nice, how long had it been sense he was cuddled so tenderly. 

Fox chuckled a little under his breath and continued petting his lovely little rat. Who laid so small against his chest, Ratau was a helpless creature in his arms. Wrapped in the arms of a predator and bound to his whims. 

And yet he felt like he was wrapped in a soft heavy blanket next to a fire on a cold day. Cozy and comfortable. Almost made him forget who he was next to in his bed. 

Perhaps it was wrong to relax like this in his presence, he should feel more on edge terrified even. And yet he found his eyes growing heavy as he listened to the Fox’s heartbeat against his chest. 

He felt Fox nose between his ears and down to his shoulder, where the mark that branded him as the fox’s plaything rested. A contented sigh left Fox’s chest when felt it there and he curled around Ratau a little tighter. Almost protectively. Laying his bushy tail over the two of them, blocking out the light from the fireplace. 

Ratau made no comment on such behavior and simply relaxed with him, ideally stroking the fur on Fox’s chest while they laid in comfortable silence. 

Eventually his thoughts slowed and his breathing with it, his eyes slipping shut with this artificial night the fox had created for him under his body. 

Fox shushed him gently and licked his cheek before settling his head next to Ratau’s with his eyes also covered by his fluffy tail. 

And so these two creatures so different from one another yet united under their dirty deals slept the day away in each others embrace. 

Sated and content. 

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

so i finally got my hands on a copy of Grimm's fairy tales again and The Frog Prince is still so fun and baffling to me:

just a reminder that it starts with the coolest opening line of all time: "In den alten Zeiten, wo das Wünschen noch geholfen hat..." (In the olden times, where wishes could still aid...)

confusingly, the focal character of this fairy tale is not the frog* but the princess, which is an underrated fact (and another thing that made me feral about Neverafter because Gerard giving up his name for Elody's is actually the ideal reasoning for why this story seemingly just refuses to have the obvious protagonist be the protagonist)

there's a theme going on where the princess AND the person-turned-frog* are both very childlike outside the castle and then framed as much more marriage age and/or sex-aware age inside: the princess is playing with a toy and cries loudly over losing it and the frog expressly asks to be her "Geselle und Spielkamerad" (companion and playmate!) at the well, not her husband or bedmate or anything

(the appendix mentions an earlier version where he demands to be the "Schätzchen" (sweetheart) of whatever princess comes to the well right out the gate)

but then inside the castle the princess is expected to be responsible and true to her word like an adult and also reacts with a lot of disgust specifically to the idea of the frog* being in her bed and soiling her clean sheets (they're really going in on those sheets), and rates this as far worse than having him eat out of the same bowl of soup as her.

and the frog* demands to specifically sleep in her bed with her

There's an interpretation that this fairy tale is a metaphor for the princess's sexual awakening and how she has to come to terms with herself as a sexual entity (i paraphrased this kinda poorly from memory, for more info see here in the German wikipedia entry of the fairy tale), and so far all of this would work for that.

The whole nature/culture split is a big deal in German lit of the time, so that's also an angle to look at it.

But then once they're alone the frog* says he wants to sleep in the bed simply because he wants to sleep "as well as she does"? It's really hard to say if this even is a metaphor for sex on his part or if he genuinely just wants to have her life for a bit?

Completely unrelated to any of this but the frog takes a full day to make it from the well to the door of the dining hall, which is deeply tragic and very funny

The frog* is kind of dick. He's also a fucking snitch: "Take me into your bed or I will tell your father!" (direct quote)

She doesn't just throw him against a wall. She throws him against a wall "aus allen Kräften" (with all her might) and says "Nun wirst du Ruhe haben, du garstiger Frosch" (Now you'll have your rest, you disgusting frog!). She straight up tries to murder this frog*.

Upon which he's immediately transformed not just into any prince, but specifically a prince with "schönen und freundlichen Augen" (beautiful and kind eyes)? i'm pretty sure that was never in the more modern versions and it should be

Also, yes he immediately becomes her husband/betrothed "nach ihres Vaters Willen" (as per her father's wish), which is very funny because it does read very "listen kid I would really prefer if you married the handsome young stranger I made you take into your bed with you. I really think we'd both look bad if you didn't."

i am however surprisingly touched by the insta-marriage part because it is SO soft for a Grimm fairy tale actually? He doesn't just become her husband, he becomes her "lieber Geselle und Gemahl" (dear companion and husband), which is? actually very sweet? Because I really do get friendship-based marriage from that.

Post wedding a whole 1.5 lines (which is kind of a lot of real estate for a fairy tale, and just as long as the info we get on them getting married!) is devoted to them just falling asleep together and being woken by the sun the next morning?

Iron Henry remains both so touching and so confusing to me. Touching because a) this dude just loves his young master so much. He probably raised this kid! He was devastated to see him gone! He's so fucking happy for him! b) Heinrich's inclusion is actually, in tandem with the "kind eyes" part, really interesting in regards to the princess. Because both of that screams, this man is a great choice for you. He is kind. Even his subordinates love him so much that his misery nearly killed them.

Confusing because yes, I know why**, but it is still a hilarious unending mystery to me why the guy who was this upset about his master getting cursed wouldn't just, you know. Hang out with him by the well?? And give that kid some fucking company???

* I had a little ramble in the tags at some point about how weird it was that the English translation makes him a frog prince instead of the Froschkönig, frog king - because if he's a king, he's probably an orphan. If he's a prince, his father (and possibly living mother) are just the worst parents? Iron Henry knows that his master was turned into a frog (which is wild, see above), but then he would have told the king! They must have known what happened to him! Don't they have a well at their castle?** This spawned a top-five throwaway line of parental abandonment on D20 (and that is saying something!): "Yeah, they haven't looked for me that hard. I've been missing." Like yeah! In a world where a prince can make his whole kingdom look for a woman whose shoe he found, you'd think the world would be on the lookout for a missing prince???

Anyway the confusing reveal from the og Grimm's version is... it's... both? The title says Froschkönig, but then after the frog collides with a castle wall there appears a "Königssohn" (literally king's son, a prince) with kind eyes? But then when Henry comes with the carriage to take The Man Formerly Known As Frog and his new wife to his realm, he is referred to only as the young king? Listen, this is not new. These stories do not give a flying fuck about internal cohesion, but in this specific case there are so many implications to it and it will never stop making the wheels in my brain go brrrr.

** I knooow this is a fairy tale, and they don't work like that and I'm looking too hard at a thing I should accept as given. He was cursed to live as a frog in a well until x event breaks his curse. Chances are this curse included "you must be an anonymous frog in a well, basically dead to all your subordinates and loved ones and removed from all your luxuries". I still think this is fascinating and i rotate this in my head at all times.

good luck trying to figure out what the trigger for breaking the curse was btw! "until you have enraged a young woman by being too forward"? "until a woman is so disgusted by you she attempts manslaughter/frogslaughter"? Just "until a princess throws you against a wall"? He does even say "sie allein" (she alone) could have broken his curse, which opens up more questions. She alone as in, a woman who now (inexplicably) loves him? That doesn't work because she definitely did not love him when she threw him against the wall. She alone because she was the closest princess? Or she alone as in, this specific princess and nobody else? Because she is so beautiful it surprises the sun every time it shines on her face (verbatim quote)? Because no other woman could have thrown him that hard??? We'll never know and I think that's hilarious, actually.

[blairsanne]

Just What You Wanted

For the @deanobingo 2023 event!

Prompts: Marco - "Can I borrow that?" Go Girls - Marco 607 words

Summary: Marco reflects on the origins of his scarf. CW: Implied off-screen sex, alcohol consumption.

A/N: Just a little idea I had early on in the month so here it is before the Bingo event is over! Canon-Marco is pretty awful, but I got this idea that maybe he wasn't always like that...

Marco slid off the edge of the mattress and grinned to himself as he found his underwear in the mess of clothing strewn across the floor.

While he got himself redressed, his latest bedmate pointed to his patterned scarf. “Ooh! Can I borrow that?”

“No!” He snatched it up and held it away, turning his body to shield it from her reach.

She stepped back in alarm and pouted, hugging her bare chest.

“Er, I mean-” He let out a nervous laugh, embarrassed by his overreaction. “It’s just- sort of part of my brand y’know?”

He wrapped it around his neck like a security blanket, still shirtless.

She let out a forced laugh. “Yeah, I reckon, now that you say that.”

She picked her shirt up off the floor. “Just thought it would look cute as a halter.”

Marco raised his brows and looked her over, imagining it wrapped over her tits. “Yeah, yeah it would.”

“Maybe I should buy my own. Where’d you get it?”

“Oh, uh- nowhere special, but it was a while back.” 

She shrugged, seeming to let go of the idea as she grabbed her purse.

He rubbed his mouth, trying to push the memories from his mind of when he’d started wearing it every day to begin with.

--

(Years earlier)

Marco huffed as he slumped into the booth in his local pub. “Kace bailed on me!”

His friend Tom scrunched his face. “Was she coming out tonight?”

It wasn’t uncommon for Marco’s flatmate to join them for drinks, but Tom didn’t remember her being part of the plan.

“No, I mean she took off! Shifted to Wellington with a note left on the table while I was at work.”

“Ah, bummer.” Tom nodded in commiseration.

James leaned over with a keen look. “If you need a new flattie, I can move in next week.”

“Oh yeah?” Marco took a sip of his beer before nodding, still frowning. “Choice.”

“Wellington, eh? Must be chasing after that fella she likes.” “Ah, yeah! The tv host.” “You reckon?” “Yeah, you know chicks; only want fame and clout.”

“Really?” Marco wiped at his nose and sighed. “I sorta thought, y’know, we might get together.” “Oh, maaaaaaate.”

“She was always saying how I was such a great guy and all…” “She had you on the hook so bad, bro.”

--

The next morning, Marco stumbled into his kitchen to make some coffee, cursing Kacey once more as he lamented his hangover.

As it percolated, he looked around the flat, noting the second-hand furniture, tattered posters on the wall, and general mess.

This isn’t the sort of flat Kacey’s ideal man would have, he thought. She goes for those jafas with leather sofas and perfect hair, who smoke cigarettes and bag a different chick every night. Famous guys on TV, who can afford to take her out wherever she likes.

He started tidying up in frustration, vowing to himself that he’d become exactly that sort of guy.

And when she comes crawling back, I’ll treat her just like they always do, he thought bitterly. Just what you wanted, Kace.

He grabbed his jacket off one of the battered dining room chairs, pausing when a black and grey scarf fell out from under it. Kacey’s.

He bent down to pick it up, stilling as he smelled the lingering scent of her perfume. His bitterness turned to sadness again as he thought of her. He wasn’t sure if he would actually be able to reject her, if she ever did want him someday.

He put the scarf on and looked at himself in the mirror.

Just like one of those jafas.

--

Tags: @laurfilijames @the-poldarkian @i-did-not-mean-to @the-butterfly-blues @fortheloveofdurin @spngingerbread21 @ichoosechoasandbeingqueer @missihart23

As always, please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from a taglist (for everything, for specific characters, etc.)

[captainofthepearl]

romance and relationship headcanons, all multiples of 5

1. what is your muse's sexual/romantic orientation?

Piracy m'dear.

5. what is your muse's ideal first date?

A night in tortuga or upon the blackpearl. Why not show off and boast about his prized possession.

10. has your muse ever been cheated on? would they ever cheat on their partner(s)?

Barbossa is many things, but Jack Sparrow he is not. He is a devoted man who would only have eyes for his true treasure.

I would say he has never been cheated on less. He was a love sick fool and gone after a wench.

There is a storyline in an rp I'm doing where hector is battling cutler beckett over his beloved, heh 😅.

15. how does your muse feel about Valentine's Day?

He celebrated it by flirting with a lass or two having a "bedmate" in the faithful bride.

Or spending a rendezvous evening with his beloved lady of the seas inside his prized possession. Dinner, the sea, the pearl, and her.

20. how does your muse feel about public displays of affection? would they engage in them?

He would flaunt his gestures and affection in over exaggurating ways. It would make anyone feel like their the treasure of his eye.

25. does love and romance mean a lot to your muse? do they seek it constantly or let it come when it does?

Yes. He's a passionate over-dramatic sea dog. Romance comes to his mind before lust, meaning he would romance the heavens out of anyone who catches his eye. He would only seek it when he needs to, perhaps not awhile his crew's are about or in a dangerous situation when the helm's needed.

30. would your muse ever be in an open/non-exclusive relationship? would it make them insecure, or would they be open to trying it?

Nope. Barbossa is possessive through and through. He wouldn't let someone touch his valuable loot or coffer. The man's jealousy would be through the roof.

[plusthreerabbits]

The thing that makes Shion an ideal bedmate is also a thing that dials up my anxiety to 11/10: he has a poop schedule. This insane lil creechur will only produce poops like once or twice a day but in GREAT VOLUME. Which means that I have to tell myself a hundred times a day, "It's fine he will poop later tonight stop worrying stoP WORRYING STOP IT"

Why can't I have a normal rabbit that eats and poops as he goes

[daemondaes]

        Home again, home again, jiggity-jig. More or less, anyway. The concept of a home, as well as what it signified, were things Cherry would ruminate on in the not so distant future, on an unsober night of unbearable isolation. For now, San Francisco was home, and it was here that she met familiar faces with not so familiar ideas. 

    Blind dates, as far as she knew, were little more than concentrated capsules of desperation and dissatisfaction. No one who was content with their life decided to throw a wild card into the mix. Even cruder, it meant admitting that one needed the assistance—that they were incapable of drinking themselves into the caprice of bedmate by roulette. But it was also how Elinor met Samira, and if anyone had a steadfast and level head on her shoulders, it was Elinor. 

    It was only by the gentle teasing of her now-and-then housemate that Cherry had been roped into submitting herself for the blind date column of a local paper. A key difference was that her friends met at the behest of mutual associates in their overlapping circles; this was little more than a lottery. Then again, a lottery was tantamount to roulette anyway. And, if she were to be honest, Cherry was curious to see what sort of person the universe saw fit to fit her with when she left it truly to chance. A gamble bigger than usual meant a bigger potential payoff, and if she met some ho-hum accountant with a combover, there would at least be a story to tell afterward. Perhaps she could learn something. She wasn’t a credentialed CPA. She hoped her lottery lover was an accountant.

    In her seat at the diner, her posture melted and shifted like an art model cycling through poses. There existed an ideal opening scene, a snapshot for the mind’s camera, such that anyone who walked through the door would ascertain her in an instant and go home with a story of their own. All she had to do was land upon it. As she experimented with different ways to hold the menu, her eyes landed on a mop of curls that did not belong to an accountant.

    For those precious first seconds, she thought it belonged to a woman and that there had been some hilarious mistake. She wasn’t opposed to a woman’s company, but a wholesome American newspaper might have been. Her half-smile stiffened. This was only a man after all.  A one-note buzz vibrated through her teeth: disappointment. She never got what she wanted. What she wanted always changed.

    “Cherry Martini.” 

    It wasn’t an order, but an introduction.

a blind date with @spokenleaf​

[hxllblazer-a]

"so what is your vibe? everyone has a type... " so sure her, zee's curious and hasn't quite been able to pin it down-- he's already shot both of her suggestions down, and it's certainly got her wondering. head tilted curiously, the magician sips her drink. go on, johnny, teach her how to be a better wingman! (early on obv hehe)

“M’ vibe?” The words coming from around the rim of his own glass and he tilted his head back to think about it. Well, John was going to assume beside the obvious one or that was going to be quite the awkward conversation.

“Tall, large—not necessarily muscular but if so that’s a happy bonus. Mostly concerned ‘bout the shoulders.” Which, also seemed to be a given in hindsight. “Maybe a touch bossy, gotta be able t’ put up with me’s a given, and bonus if they’re open to pain.”

That… last part probably shouldn’t have sounded as casual as it did.

zee and john gossip about ideal bedmates || @haeroeine

[wizofwaterdeep]

@oathwilled asked: "you look cute all frazzled like this." // morning after starters;; open

It is a pleasurable experience, waking up in one’s own bed, soft and silky and oh so luxurious. One thing’s for certain, the wizard’s aching muscles are most grateful for his return to Waterdeep. (Even if said muscles continue to be strained in other manners.) No longer sleeping upon hard and unforgiving ground, instead he basks in the pleasure of a supple mattress and a handsome bedmate.

“Frazzled?” Gale huffs grumpily into the side of his lover’s pillow, brown locks of hair splayed messily across cream-colored fabric. Such a disheveled appearance is less than ideal—or so he once believed—now he revels in tender vulnerability. Moments of domestic bliss when Gale can simply allow himself to be human. To feel. To love. “Exhausted, perhaps, but frazzled? I suppose you could consider me so, following the previous evening’s activities.”

[giantteddy]

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[eight-house]

The Moon Signs in Bed

MOON IN ARIES

Aries’ passion is immediate; love and desire do not build up gradually, but begin  full force and proceed with high intensity. In the bed- room, you enjoy taking the lead, and go after what you want with intensity and determination. Between the sheets you’re a fiery lover—easily aroused, with physical desires that urgently demand satisfaction. You have a strong appetite for anything new and innovative, and a talent for keeping the spirit of your love alive and thriving. You’re open to trying anything that is fun and adventurous—at least once. Although your sexual needs are high, intimate involvement with one person may become a source of conflict, because you require a great deal of personal freedom. It’s often easier for you to commit yourself physically than emotionally, so you deflect what you’re feeling into your sexuality. Then you deal with your emotions on that level, instead of confronting them directly. For you, a successful permanent relationship needs to be based in friendship as well as in love and romance.  

MOON IN TAURUS

Your needs and desires are simple and of a practical, physical nature. Highly physical, your enjoyment of lovemaking is direct and unabashed and all types of physical contact appeal to your strongly sensuous nature. While you have no trouble drawing your lover to you, you actually enjoy being seduced. Initially shy, you  become a sexual dynamo once aroused. For Taurus the neck is a major erogenous zone, and you welcome slow, sliding kisses along your neck as a prelude to love- making. Your personal recipe for love consists of equal parts passion and romance. However, while romantic, you don’t overlook the realities of life. No matter how passionate, hasty couplings in bleak, uncomfortable places hold little appeal for you. The bed partner who sets the scene with candles, music, and flowers, and plies you with delectable goodies such as exotic fruits, chocolates, and fine wines truly knows the surest way to your heart.

MOON IN GEMINI

More mental than emotional or physical, your major erotic zone is between your ears. You get off on fantasizing and talking about sex. Your aversion to boredom makes witty banter and subtle promises of previously untried bedroom techniques the ideal come-on from a prospective lover. You expect sex to be fun and prefer making love in unusual places. Risk provides an added thrill, and the possibility of getting caught in the act fuels your erotic imaginings. Even at home, you dislike having your lovemaking confined to the bedroom. Variety and change stimulate your desires, and you’re willing to try anything new or different. Since you love gadgets, sex toys and devices are a welcome addition to your erotic activities.

MOON IN CANCER 

In an intimate union, the intensity of your sexuality is directly connected to the depth of your feeling for your companion. The act of love can carry you to incredible heights or leave you feeling deflated and let down. Sex for its own sake is just not your style. In the bedroom, your approach is romantic, sensual, tender, and always considerate of your lover’s wishes. You long to be courted and love to kiss and cuddle between the sheets. In intimate moments, you’re shy and sensitive, but in your dreams, you’re bold, imaginative, and audacious enough to take risks that you hesitate to pursue in reality. Your ideal bed partner coaxes you out of your shell, and gets you to reveal your most erotic imaginings. When acting out your secret fantasies, you engage your entire being in an exotic game of joyful seduction.

MOON IN LEO

Love is your ultimate aphrodisiac, and your idea of the perfect turn-on includes tons of affection and admiration. As a lover, you’re not a big fan of subtlety and believe that actions really do speak louder than words. While aggressive and dramatic in the bedroom, you’re never crude or boorish. Your sunny, romantic idealism permeates your lovemaking just as it lights up every other area of your life. Physical intimacy makes you feel alive and fulfilled, and your sexual prowess and ability to please your lover are exceedingly important to you. Because your plea- sure-seeking instincts are strong, you’re eager to experience all the joys lovemaking has to offer. Your sex drive is greatly enhanced by the comfortable accoutrements of the good life, and you get off on being pampered and wooed luxuriously, as befits your regal, leonine status.

MOON IN VIRGO

Because of its introverted aspect, Virgo is not a very sexual position for the Moon. Even when your deepest feelings are engaged, your shyness makes it hard for you to be demonstrative. You want a close union based on mutual respect and affection, and appreciate the refined elegance of beautiful, tasteful surroundings. Getting physical with your lover allows you to relax and forget about mundane worries. Since pleasing your mate is foremost in your mind, once you feel comfortable with your bedmate you make an amazingly skilled, generous bed partner. When you find a new way to gratify your lover, you hone the technique until it approaches perfection. While not the most exciting lover, you’re definitely one of the most considerate and obliging. Moreover, like a fine wine, your sensuality becomes richer with age and experience

MOON IN LIBRA 

Your approach to lovemaking is glamorous and alluring. You appreciate the intri- cate rituals of old-fashioned courtship, and enjoy being wooed with finesse and sophistication. Sex and romance are intertwined in your mind, and you prefer artful seduction to a carnal free-for-all. Your erotic sensuality emerges most readily in a sumptuous setting that engages all the senses. Luxurious bedding, sultry nightwear, soft music, flickering candles, and fresh flowers add the requisite spice to your lovemaking. A special night dedicated to love, in a romantic setting with moonlight and whispered words of adoration, serves as a genuine turn-on and affectionate gestures and loving words draw out your passions and get your sexual juices flowing.

MOON IN SCORPIO

Imbued with a smoldering sexuality, when you turn on your sultry charm, few can resist you and, once you get going beneath the covers, you have tremendous staying power. Your passionate lovemaking requires a dynamic bed partner with physical stamina equal to your own. Your innate fascination with sexuality inspires numerous fantasies of erotic seduction. Acting out these scenarios with your mate provides an outlet for your active imagination in addition to being a guaranteed turn-on. An extremist, you equate sex with power and control, making you a de- manding, but wickedly delightful lover. You intuit your partner’s secret desires— and make them come true. Sharing your lusty thoughts with your beloved serves as tantalizing foreplay for steamy nights of intense lovemaking.

MOON IN SAGITTARIUS

Your sex drive is strong, but erratic. At times, your bedroom style can be wildly experimental, and you’re always eager to explore new ways of expanding your sen- sual horizons. Physical attraction sparks your interest initially, but it takes intel- lectual stimulation to hold it indefinitely. Spontaneity, fun, excitement, and adventure turn you on and matter more to you than grand passion. A short getaway is relaxing, and camping, hiking, and making love under the stars reinvigorates you. Your natural exuberance, candor, and lack of guile in the bedroom allow you to express your sexual desires openly. More interested in action than fantasy, having sex in different locations—at home and otherwise— is a real turn-on for you. Why be restricted to the bedroom when there are so many other appealing places to make love?

MOON IN CAPRICORN

When aroused the strongly sexed lunar goat is capable of intense and sustained ardor. Where lovemaking is concerned, you like to take it slow and get it right and you work at love with the same diligence and dedication that you apply to other areas of your life. Your style of lovemaking, while respectful and refined, tends to be no-nonsense and you consider coquettish games a waste of time. Nevertheless, whatever you lack in the romance department, you more than make up for in skill and sexual prowess. Despite your down-to-earth attitude toward sexuality, you can be vamped and seduced. Your ideal lover knows how to lure the horny goat out of hiding by creating an atmosphere of sensuality where you can relax and give full rein to your many erotic desires. 

MOON IN  AQUARIUS

In the bedroom, you’re daring and unconventional. A genuine nonconformist, you’re sexually uninhibited and predisposed to experimentation; if something sounds fun, you’re willing to give it a go. You exude a sex appeal that positively crackles with electricity, and you believe that nothing is too far out as long as it pleases both partners. However, no matter how much you enjoy making love, you always keep your wits about you and never allow yourself to be totally swept away by passion. Lovemaking has little meaning for you unless it truly engages your mind along with your body, and you respond as readily to verbal suggestion as to physical stimulation.

MOON IN PISCES

For the fish, love and sex are irrevocably intertwined, and nothing gets your attention faster than an old-fashioned romantic courtship. You want a lover who quotes poetry, scatters rose petals, and makes all-consuming love by candlelight. In turn, you enchant your lover through subtle seduction, and your unpredictable nature makes you endlessly fascinating. In bed, your aura of vulnerability brings out your partner’s protective instincts. Although you love to kiss and cuddle, the physical side of sex matters less to you than an emotional connection with your lover. Even so, you’re no slouch between the sheets. Prepared to give your all, you readily set your own needs and desires aside in order to satisfy those of your bed- mate