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randomboo256 · 1 year ago

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BotW and TotK, Revisited

So it's Tears of the Kingdom's anniversary already.

I ended up replaying the game a few months ago. I'm not sure if I've ever played a game so rife with good ideas and great potential that failed so hard to take advantage of any of it.

This will be long, please stay with me.

Before we talk about TotK, we need to talk about it's predecessor: Breath of the Wild.

I played this game when it came out, and for what it's worth I thought it was decently fun. However it lacks a lot of the design that made previous games work. Before you ask, no I'm not nostalgia blind. I played the entire Zelda series for the first time in 2016, and I played BotW just a year later. If anything, I'm just as nostalgic for old Zelda as I am for BotW itself. This is just an honest critique of the game's design.

BotW is a game that felt like a rough draft of what a modernized 3D Zelda game could be. The idea of making the world larger, more open, and more inspired by the 2D games is a brilliant one. The execution however felt less like 2D Zelda and more like every other open world game.

What BotW mainly suffered from was bloat. The world was too large and less rewarding. Your main reward for exploring a Zelda game are new items and heart pieces. When you relegate all of those to copy/paste shrines, you're removing the main incentive to actually engage with the world.

In old Zelda, you had no idea what you could find! Any random chest could have a heart piece or even a brand new item. Any sidequest could give you an awesome reward. That's what made it so much fun and so compelling to do everything you can! Old Zelda also loved to show you something you wanted, without telling you how to get it. Often you'd have to come back WAY later. It makes you remember that location, and when you can grab it it's so satisfying. Metroidvanias are like entirely built on this principle.

However, BotW's map is simply too large to be constantly engaging like this. The devs can't ensure you'll find the upgrades, important NPCs, and discoveries without just telling you. In old Zelda, the devs can naturally guide you to all of that with level design. To remedy this, BotW tries to give you items and upgrades constantly, but they do so in a way to make sure that it makes no difference if you missed them. That's how we get things like interchangeable swords that break instead a permanent sword upgrades (I'll get back to that).

It doesn't help that BotW pushed it's nonlinearity too hard. It wanted to make everything in the game accessible immediately as well as completely skippable, which ruins most sense of player progress as well as obliterating any form of a difficulty curve. BotW never has that "Oh, I can get that now!" moment. You know, I actually don't mind the weapon system in concept. I love resource management in games. The problem is that enemies are optional, and killing them is rarely ever worth the swords you broke. Other games with resource management don't allow to just effortlessly ignore every enemy. The worst part of BotW's over-nonlinearity is the dungeons. Dungeons have always been the heart of this series, even in the original game. In BotW, they were simplified down to "do these 5 points in any order" and it's just really boring and underwhelming.

On top of all of this, I haven't mentioned the stamina system, which quite literally just exists to waste your fucking time. By stripping out so much of Zelda's game design in favor of interchangeable everything, it just all adds up to a game that's very repetitive, often boring, and not as satisfying to play as the older titles. If BotW had a map half the size, it could let Nintendo actually pack it to the brim with something interesting and engaging to find in every step you take. Combine that with a return of the old item/heart piece system and a bit of linearity, and it could be great. The happy medium between old and new Zelda is basically just giving the game a more Metroidvania-esc game design logic, as I alluded to earlier. It's a simple fix, but I think it would make everyone happy.

However, TotK took a different route....

Finally, the topic of the today's post. I played Tears of the Kingdom right around launch, and again for what's worth I thought it too was decently fun. However while I could be a little forgiving of BotW for its various missteps, this game doubled down on all of BotW's worst issues.

Instead of removing bloat, TotK TRIPLED it. We have a mostly empty and boring sky and a mostly boring and empty depths. What's left is the shamelessly reused map from BotW. So now everything in the game is either something you've already seen or something you don't care about. This choice is baffling, to be frank. Of all Zelda games, BotW especially is all about exploring the map.

Like, it literally didn't have anything else!!! Why would I want to explore this map again?!!! I've seen it already!!! There wasn't that much there the first time!!!

cough cough

Getting back ahold of myself....

TotK's main excuse to explore the map is the introduction of caves (which somehow weren't in BotW). Caves certainly add a ton of life to the world design, but we still run into a problem of them too getting very stale by the end. On top of that, they removed any challenge in the physical effort of exploring the world. While the stamina system in BotW mostly sucks, it's main strength is that you can't just climb to the top of every mountain. You gotta look around and be a bit more clever. In TotK, towers alone shoot you up a million feet, so you can just glide everywhere. It's faster, I guess, but what's the point of having world map if it's smarter to just fly over it? It's like they knew that exploring again would be boring so they just let you skip over it.

Well exploration is mostly a bust, but what else changed?

Well to start out positive, I adore the weapon fusing system. I already enjoy resource management, so adding whole fusing layer on top of it is super fun. However, I still rarely have a reason to actually fight. By far the most fun part of TotK were the Proving Ground shrines. When I walk into one of these shrines, it's like the game comes to life with so much fun and energy. It's like I'm teleported to a world where the combat clicks and is insanely fun and in-depth. It's funny, because all those shrines did was limit my weapons, limit my healing, make enemies more punishing, and forced me to actually beat them.

WHY WASN'T THE WHOLE GAME DESIGNED LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Well we know why. By making the enemies unrelenting, the weapons and healing limited, and forcing you to fight, the game is limiting what you're capable of. Working around and with limitations are the core of what makes, not just video games, ALL games fun. However, the modern Zelda games are so allergic to the idea of limitations in general that they're sabotaging their own carefully designed combat system at pretty much all times. The only way to enjoy it is for the player to decide to place the limit themself, which is a lot to ask of us.

Outside the upgraded combat system, the main difference between BotW and TotK is a new move called Ultrahand, which strangely a reference to an old Nintendo toy. Ultrahand "functions" by letting you grab any physics object, twist it around, and then stick it to other physics objects. If you're thinking "that just sounds like the fucking Psychics Gun from Garry's Mod", then correct! The only difference is that the Physgun actually works properly. For what it's worth, it's pretty impressive technology, however that doesn't mean much when it's not actually fun to play. Moving an object around with Ultrahand feels extremely stiff and awkward. As for the glueing aspect, it's even worse. With the controls alone it's hard to make anything, but what's worse is that you can't detach one item at a time. If you glue one thing on wrong, shaking it loose will probably make it all fall apart. As you might imagine from a system where any two things can be glued in any way, it's all extremely fucking janky.

When the game's systems for Ultrahand are properly flowing and working properly, it can be pretty fun, but for every "pretty fun" Ultrahand moment, there's a thousand annoying moments.

In a way, Ultrahand is basically just an upgraded and reskinned Magnesis, a move from BotW. Magnesis also barely worked, but it wasn't used nearly as much. Ultrahand meanwhile is literally the entire game. I'm not exaggerating. Pretty much every puzzle and a majority of side missions are about Ultrahand. Ultrahand is this game's gimmick. You know, like how Ocarina of Time's gimmick was time periods, Majora's Mask's was a time loop, Wind Waker's was the ocean, Twilight Princess was the wolf, Skyward Sword's was motion controls, and Breath of the Wild's was extreme nonlinearity. Tears of the Kingdom's gimmick is Ultrahand, and wow holy shit is it the worst 3D Zelda gimmick so far.

Honestly what sucks is that Ultrahand could've been a lot better. On occasion, they do have some really fun puzzles with it. However, because these modern Zelda games don't have difficulty curves, the Ultrahand puzzles won't get more challenging over time. The majority are just too easy, and I'm spending more time thinking about how awful the controls are at doing what I want.

As for the dungeons, well don't get your hopes up. They're identical to BotW, except now with Ultrahand gimmicks! Well, that's not totally true. They do have two big changes. Firstly, every dungeon has a long linear segment leading up to it. These sections are genuinely great, and they feel more like Zelda dungeons than the actual dungeons. However they are just short preludes to the lackluster main event. As for the other change, this game reintroduces companions.

Companions are classic aspect of Zelda that BotW sorely missed. They're usually small and out of the way. They exist for three important reasons: For one, player guidance. They'll occasionally chime in with hints on where to go and what to do. For two, they add worldbuilding. You can freely talk to them and sometimes you can learn some interesting details from them. For three, they give Link a voice. Link is barely a character, so having another character follow him around and speak for him in cutscenes is a great way to remedy that. Of course, they could just... let Link talk but HEY HEY let's not get too crazy.

Unfortunately TotK once again dropped the ball on this. This game has four companions that you unlock over the story, and they're not small. They're full human sized NPCs that constantly follow you around and get in your way. Now honestly, I could forgive that. I love Final Fantasy VII Remake, and those games have that issue. I don't really care that my party members get in my way in those games, because they're great characters and they're constantly chiming in with fun dialogue. However TotK somehow didn't think to do that. Your "party" never chimes in at any point. Neither in gameplay OR cutscenes. What a huge missed opportunity! They're just lifeless robots that follow you around.

You might be thinking, "I thought the whole point of Zelda companions was that they'd talk. If they don't talk in TotK, what do they do?" and that's a good question hypothetical-person-I-made-up. For one, they fight in combat with you. That sounds fun, but you can't control them at all. They're completely AI. For two, each one has a special move you can use by walking up to them and pressing A. This means they essentially act like a dungeon item. That's a huge improvement for the quality of the dungeons. But remember, they get in the way constantly. Combine that with the strange controls, and you will be constantly setting off your partners without wanting to. Did nobody playtest this???

Giving Link party members is a fucking amazing idea, but they botched the execution of this so hard that most people just turn the party members off. What a waste of an idea. I hope they revisit this concept. I'll be really sad if they don't.

So all in all, Tears of the Kingdom is a really upsetting video game to me. It didn't do the one thing I was hoping, and that was "make a version of Breath of the Wild that took more advantage of it's concept".

On top of that, it kept piling on new great ideas that they also fucked up. Like adding caves, sky islands, and depths to an open world Zelda. Yes! Great idea! However, they were really fucking boring and repetitive. They gave the game an amazing combat system, and then punished you for using it. They gave the game a complicated physics puzzle gimmick, but it was really fucking janky and overused. The added fun build ups to dungeons, but still skimped out on making the actual dungeon part. They gave Link party members, but they're boring and get in your way.

When I look at Tears of the Kingdom, all I can see is the insane amount of missed potential this game had. They could've done so much. They TRIED to do so much. But they didn't do any well at any of them! I can't help but think this all just comes down to a case of some extreme overambition. They tried to do so many things, on top of having an insanely large open world. BotW's map was way too big. TotK's map is insanely oversized. That's why my number one prayer for the next Zelda is that they SCALE THIS SHIT DOWN!!

Overall, Tears of the Kingdom isn't a bad game. When it works, it works very well. However it works so occasionally that I really wish Nintendo stops doing this new modern formula. It seems like Nintendo just doesn't know how to improve upon BotW. With TotK, they just figured "Well if we take BotW and just shove more shit into it, it'd be good right?". Well, it's not good. It's fucking mid.

As for what I want Nintendo to do instead? Well I hope that the next Zelda is just something that's radically new. You might not have expected me to say that, huh? Well honestly, I don't really care if old Zelda ever returns. If it ever did, I'd be happy for sure, but it's not like those old games are perfect either. The reason we're even in this mess is because Skyward Sword was so hated that Nintendo backpedalled so hard in the opposite direction that they fell off a cliff.

At this point, all I want is a new Zelda game that I can love again, and these modern ones just aren't it.

#gaming #review #legend of zelda

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brandwhorestarscream · 2 years ago

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I have more ideas for Cult of the Primes (also considering other posts of this AU you post between me starting to type and me sending it in):

Maybe the cities dedicated to Megatronus and Prima are kinda swapped for a lack of a better term.

Like, Primes who succeed from Kaon/Megatronus's city are known for being some of the best Primes Cybertron (Primus's side) has seen and the city has exactly one known heretic that practically legend at this point, explaining why Kaon doesn't bring any more heretic Primes to Primus. They live in one of the harshest environment Cybertron can throw at them and they believe (and maybe it's basically proven) that worshipping Primus and Megatronus will protect their home from disaster.

Meanwhile, Primes who succeed from Iacon/Prima's city get some doubt from other cities whether or not they have Primus's best interests in mind considering the city has the most heretics. Like, 21 of the heretics were originally from Iacon and the next closest number is eight. The land Iacon inhabits is very bountiful, but they blame the fact they're close to the Unicron-worshipping cities as the reason why they have so many heretics. The rest of the cities don't really believe they because Vos is closer to a Unicron-worshipping city than Iacon and Vos only showed like four heretics. No where near the same amount as Iacon. Gossip mills say it's because mecha from Iacon are jealous of the other cities due to their prime being the so-called "first Prime" or even the fact that their city produces the most out of all the cities and should get special treatment. However, "it's just gossip, there's no reason to believe that" so it could easily be something else.

I can't for the life of me find the list we made for which Prime is for which city, but maybe each city produces something different that's traded with the rest of their side of Cybertron. Like, maybe Solus's city focuses on mining and smithing various tools made of the metal and gems they harvest from the mines like metal farm tools or gemstone jewelry. Maybe Megatronus's city has old coliseums and tunnels that they use to train various animals to help other cities with their jobs like cryo-pigeons with delivering messages through environments where comms aren't an option or volt-horses for helping pull equipment around. Stuff like that.

I might come up with more stuff later, but I don't have any other ideas right now so.

Heretics are to be rooted out, captured, and dragged in to be sacrificed and burned at the temples if they refuse to change their ways. Any who challenge the wills of the gods must not be allowed to proliferate, to spread their noxious ideals. If a heretic is found in your community, shoo them away and call for the church to bring judgement upon them, lest you be infected with their heresy and dragged down into the pits of hellfire for all eternity with them

Iacon having lots of these heretics despite being stationed just above the beating heart of Primus is so interesting. I like the idea of it being due to close proximity to Unicron's worshippers, but it doesn't really work with in-universe lore. After all, if they know that there are settlements that worship the Harbinger of Chaos... it wouldn't last long. The church would burn it to the ground and have them publicly executed for their crimes against the holy matrix

I'm also definitely here for the cities each having special commodities they produce correlating to their gods. Tesarus, the city of Solus Prime, is a city of artisans that treasure devotion through creation over all else. Everything they make is filled to the brim with their love for their goddess, endless praise and penace upon her holy name. Fine sculptures, vases, tapestries, weaponry, anything and everything that can be made by hand is best crafted in Tesarus 😌 I imagine Kaon as a city of warriors, with Megatronus Prime being their patron deity, Guardian of Warriors, and definitely one of the cities that has routine ritualistic sacrifices, in part due to the famous story of how Solus Prime was felled by their god's hand. Maybe they even have to offer a sacrifice to Tesarus, or vice versa, because of it 🤔 definitely smthn to consider

And finally, depending on whether or not we go with the sacrificial bride of Unicron idea, Kaon could perhaps have that aforementioned reputation due to their city producing two Holy Acolytes in a short span of time, one of whom later ascended to Sainthood. Kaon gets painted in a ridiculously good light, if we go that route

#maybe the saint IS the sacrificial bride 🤔 only the purest moat perfect servant of the gods can hold chaos incarnate at bay #cult of the primes

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hotelhamartia · 1 month ago

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xenocalliphora || jekyll || trial 5.4

And as for why you? I don’t know! I just wanted to help! I reached out and opened a door. You’re what came over the threshold.

She was right - she didn't like the answer she got. The alternative may not have been better, but there's a specific frustration in knowing that her purpose here could have been filled by anyone else, that she in particular did not need to be pulled through that door, and that there has not been a moment here where her safety hasn't been subject to this annoying little person's whims.

"You know, hon, medical studies and the like typically have something called informed consent. I'm sure if you actually cared about our well-being, you would have, you know - asked permission, at the very least, before subjecting us all to this little experiment of yours. But this isn't for our benefit, is it? Or else you would have just told us straight-up instead of running around to solve your little detective games, and making a big grand show of it all."

Hotel Hamartia is truly a place unlike no other. A building that lives, a building that takes life, and grants it in turn. A place of congregation, even if an unwilling one, for all manner of person, fantastical and otherwise. Jekyll has learned a lot during her time here, information that might have taken many more years to uncover through her usual means, or otherwise not even landed in her purview. As research material, her first-hand experience in these past few months has been nothing short of invaluable.

So was it worth it?

Was it worth the time spent sleeping alone in a one-person bedroom? Was it worth all the evenings she hasn't been able to cheerfully greet Artemy on their way to the subway after work? Was it worth all the mornings she wasn't able to hear Nastasya's laughter, as she watched cartoons on the television? Was it worth the times she was forced to hallucinate their grisly demises out the corner of her eye?

"Well, I hope you had your fun, at least. Maybe at least some of us were satisfactorily grateful for your efforts."

They're not so different, perhaps, she and Tad. People had often got the wrong idea about her, she thinks, though it is one that generally benefited her - that her determination to convict the correct killer was out of a noble sense of altruistic justice. If the killer is executed, then the group is protected, right?

But it was never about what the group wanted. She knows what is right, and what is just, and she will do what is in her power to make it happen. She wonders if John had been right, that one time, in suggesting that she would kill another to protect her family. And she supposes that he was, because every vote cast by her hand was in service of getting herself home alive and intact, so she could see them once more with pride brimming in her heart.

That's the only justice that matters to her.

And Tad has been charged with obstruction of justice.

"But, well, as I said - I've have a family to get home to for months now, so you'll have to excuse my lack of gratitude. Do make sure that little tree child gets taken care of, won't you? Bit of a needy kid, but he does like his playtime."

#endgame #jekyll

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adibuosolutions · 4 months ago

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Navigating Growth: Optimizing Business Management Staffing Solutions in Ireland

The modern business landscape is a dynamic arena, where success hinges on adaptability and strategic resource allocation. Imagine a company poised for expansion, brimming with innovative ideas but struggling to find the right talent to execute its vision. This scenario underscores the critical need for effective Business Management Staffing Solutions in Ireland, where a skilled workforce can be the difference between thriving and merely surviving. This Article will delve into the nuances of securing the ideal personnel for business management roles, focusing on the significance of targeted solutions tailored to the Irish market.

Understanding the Demand for Skilled Business Management Professionals

Ireland's economy is experiencing growth, leading to a heightened demand for competent business management professionals. Companies across various sectors are seeking individuals with the expertise to lead teams, drive strategic initiatives, and optimize operational efficiency. The ability to identify, attract, and retain these skilled individuals is paramount. Companies often require a partner that has deep expertise in sourcing business management talent, which is where the significance of business management staffing solutions comes into play. The right staffing solutions help companies access the skilled professionals they need to maintain their competitive edge and achieve sustained growth.

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The complexities of business management demand a specialized approach to staffing. General staffing agencies may lack the in-depth understanding of the roles and required skill sets within this field. Business Management Staffing Services in Ireland provided by specialized firms offer several advantages. These agencies possess a strong network of qualified professionals, a deep understanding of industry trends, and the expertise to assess candidates' suitability for specific roles. This specialization translates into a more efficient and effective staffing process, saving companies time and resources while ensuring they secure top talent.

Leveraging Technology in Modern Staffing Processes

Technology is revolutionizing the staffing industry, with advanced tools and platforms streamlining the recruitment process. From AI-powered candidate screening to online assessment platforms, technology is enabling staffing agencies to identify and evaluate talent more efficiently. Business Management Stang Services in Ireland can leverage these technologies to reach a wider pool of candidates, automate administrative tasks, and gain deeper insights into candidate qualifications. By embracing technology, staffing agencies can enhance the speed, accuracy, and overall effectiveness of their services, providing companies with a competitive edge in the talent acquisition landscape.

Building Long-Term Partnerships for Sustainable Growth

The most effective staffing solutions are built on strong, long-term partnerships between companies and staffing agencies. A collaborative relationship fosters a deep understanding of a company's evolving needs, enabling the staffing agency to proactively identify and provide suitable candidates. This approach goes beyond simply filling immediate vacancies; it focuses on building a pipeline of talent that can support a company's long-term growth objectives. By viewing the staffing agency as a strategic partner, companies can ensure they have access to the right talent at the right time, positioning them for sustained success in the competitive Irish market.

#Business Management Staffing Solutions

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godofgrapes · 5 months ago

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A Darker Shade of Magic Review

(3/5 Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️)

V.E. Schwab is such an amazing author and one of the best working right now, in my humble opinion. I am an enormous fan of the works that I have read (The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, Vicious, and now A Darker Shade of Magic) and her name is more than enough to sell me on buying a book. Do not let my rating of this book disabuse you of the notion that I think she is anything other than a spectacular and enviable talent.

With that said, I enjoyed A Darker Shade of Magic as a fun, light read to break up the dense bricks of the Mistborn trilogy. As always, Schwab presents phenomenal ideas on the page; the kinds that really brim with creativity and passion and fun. Four parallel Londons, able to be walked through by only a select few people on royal errands is just a recipe for a blast. And for the most part, she executes very well on these ideas and presents a book that is a very solid stand-alone feature. I have every intention of reading the follow-ups, but Schwab does a good job of wrapping everything up in a satisfying enough bow that I wouldn’t be upset if there weren’t more to read.

Character wise, the book is somewhat of a let down. Whilst Kell is a wonderful protagonist that I never got tired of being in the head of, the ancillary characters leave much to be desired and come across as one note. I actively disliked the female lead, Lila Bard, until the last 80 pages when she truly began to show out as an enjoyable character capable of growth. Rhy as the Prince and Kell’s brother is unfortunately sidelined into the stereotypical rakish Royal masking insecurity beneath a roguish smile. I have the feeling that he could have done very well, but contrivances of the plot and his limited screen time hold him back. Holland is a fascinating character but again suffers from a lack of screen time. The Dane Twins serve as decent enough villains with Athos actually being quite good.

The other big disappointment was the magic system which, with the exception of the Antari penchant of walking between worlds, is extremely one note and without any character. Much is extolled about the nature of magic and the way people relate to it, and that is interesting, but not when the magic system itself boils down to the bending from Avatar: the Last Airbender and some mild telekinesis.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable romp, albeit not one that challenged me like Addie LaRue and without the stellar character work of Vicious.

#reading #2025 reading #book review #a darker shade of magic #ve schwab #kell #lila bard #books #bookblr

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sciencestyled · 8 months ago

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The Day I Nearly Lost My Peacock Feathers Over a Space Probe (or, How I Ended Up Telling Stories About the Moon)

Oh, dear reader, you’ll never believe how I, the so-called serene Lord Krishna, found myself here, prattling on about satellites and lunar orbits. And why? Because one fine morning—brimming with the tranquility that only a divine flute session can bring—I made the terrible mistake of trying to have a leisurely conversation with the moon itself. Yes, I had forgotten that our beloved moon, Chandra, is easily ruffled, especially when one mentions Earthlings poking around in his craters.

Now, mind you, I was just making polite conversation, asking him if he'd seen anything interesting up there lately—celestial gossip, if you will. But he huffed and puffed (metaphorically, of course; space lacks air, but you get the idea) about these "curious mortals" who’d been "scurrying around with rockets and landers," poking at his surface like it's some roadside stand.

You see, I hadn't quite been paying attention. I mean, mortals do send up rockets all the time, don’t they? But Chandra, it turns out, was referring to a little something called Chandrayaan-3, which the folks at ISRO, India’s very own celestial cabal, sent aloft. Apparently, they’d landed something on the moon that had Chandra all riled up—"I’m a dignified celestial being, not a testing ground!" he snapped. He practically begged me to tell the Earthlings that he’s had it with all the prodding and rover tracks on his divine visage.

Well, I thought it might calm him down to actually show him what Chandrayaan-3 was up to. Imagine his surprise when he saw, plain as day, that this wasn’t just idle prying but a rather spectacular, carefully executed scientific exploration. Oh, how he sniffed at the little lander—like an emperor humoring a mouse—but you could see the curiosity peeking through. "Fine," he relented, "but at least tell your Earthly friends not to bother my far side. I have secrets!" (Again, figuratively—he’s such a drama moon.)

I knew that if Chandra could be won over, I’d have to share this moment with the world. People needed to know how a modest space probe had managed to charm even the most standoffish of celestial personalities. And so, a little whisper among the mortal minds turned into an idea for this video, breaking down how India’s lunar prodigy, Chandrayaan-3, gracefully navigated the cosmic stage, landing softly on our lunar friend without so much as ruffling a crater.

So, here it is, dear mortals—watch, enjoy, and perhaps consider the moon’s feelings the next time you stare up, full of dreams. Chandra may still be scowling about that new rover track, but he’s warming up to the idea of some polite visitors. And if not, well, I may have to send over a few divine sweets to smooth things over.

youtube

#moon landing #moon #lord krishna #chandrayaan 3 #story #science #science education #education #Youtube

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shay-awenydd · 22 days ago

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This was a lot for Shay to take in, even though he had asked for it. Without thinking, he took out one of his trusty journals and began writing along to Viva's commentary, jotting down her speech nearly word-for-word, when he pauses to meet the eyes of this new voice, Nikki.

That tail. It shouldn't be there. He was used to the spindly, bladed appendages which spring from the backs of hunters, but never before had he seen one upon a regular worker. It was then that he began connecting the dots laid out before him: that absolute-solver-thing, the miraculous wound-healing of the hunters, and that terrible tail... yes, the church had warned him of this. A demon stood before him, though it acted neither hostile nor even particularly rude toward him. Sure, they were strange, but so were the rest of these drones. He stared at the greyscale machine, unsure of its intentions, but elected not to vocalize his woes, instead continuing his writings.

The lack of a proper name for this group irked him severely, but Nikki's interjection seemed to fit quite well, unfortunate as it is. "Rejects" doesn't evoke the greatest of preconceptions, but, looking at the self-dissimilar group bearing the name, he admitted it had a certain ring to it. So, "Rejects" ought to stay, lest anyone have any better ideas.

Shay was hard-pressed to find anything close to normalcy within this group of drones - a list of strange qualities only growing longer for every one of Viva's revelations and the others' remarks. What impressed him evermore was the huge perimiter of safety drawn around their hideout, along with the general unremarkable-ness of this city. Venatores scarcely ventured into it, and the pilgramages passing through here stopped when the hunters dropped. "Too dangerous, frankly stupid to even suggest these days", as one priest lamented. He's been all over the continent, and by extent all of Copper-9, but he cannot recall having ever passed through here.

It takes trust to allow one to invade one's private space, and this group obviously dripped with such. Even Shay's closest friends, of which he had very little, never dared get this close. He gets defensive, this, everyone that knows him knows well enough. The entire group, in fact, though not one shared even a single striking detail, each and every one special in their own way, seemed to Shay as if they shared a tight familial bond, this interpretation reinforced by their constant and needless bickering amongst themselves.

Most intriguing to the writer, and admittedly the reason he came here, though he didn't think so explicitly, was K17's many animal-like qualities. Names of places like the "Elliot manor" were instantly lost on him. He wrote it down, of course, as he did with everything Viva said, but he in truth cared little for it. Whoever did this to her must have died decades ago, this notion gained from the constant mentioning of JCJenson, whose human workers and executives he knows went extinct in the great cataclysm. Any reasoning behind her design surely died with them.

Her serial number, he wrote down exactly as displayed, not missing even a single detail, his eyes growing large as they fell upon her original blueprints. His pen smoking from copying the draftings with such ludicrous speed, he took note of the distant intimacy of this act - he was, after all, gazing openly upon all that made K17 into what she was.

After this lengthy exposition, when all is at last said and written down, Shay sees that he has filled a good few pages to the brim with new and exciting information to be archived away when he gets back to Berghardt. When Viva talks about the corpses, Shay is right there beside them, observing them closely - some of them seem normal, while others sport a demon's fleshy tail. Yes, while he cannot pray for a demon's salvation in death, he still mourns for his fallen kin. Precise, surgical incisions dot the cadavers; "Research purposes" may not be what he had hoped for, had he hoped for anything at all, but at least these hermits weren't cannibals... excluding C, of course, who cannot be blamed for following his nature.

Upon thinking of the hunter right next to him, he rummages around in his satchel and chucks him a can full of liquid. "Here," he ejects, lobbing it loosely at the tall machine, "it's fresh drone oil, have some. I've some in reserve." C doesn't know what to say. Killing drones for food is one thing, with their used, grimy old oil cooling him only just barely. With this? Even though it's but a half-litre vessel, this will supply him for a few days alone, not to mention the pleasant, refreshing taste. "Gee, th-thanks mister, I dunno what to say..."

"Consider it common courtesy, for, y'know, not killing me.", Shay assures him, "Don't worry, I won't run out. Berghardt produces its own oil, and since I'm part of the clergy, I get a decent supply." He looks back at Viva, a sense of duty in his eyes "Now, why bring me here? Am I to figure out K17's memory, or why that "hound" is following her - another hunter perhaps?... I don't quite know how to help other than to offer you to come back with me. It's safe in Berghardt, the guards and venatores make sure of that."

Having only now properly processed Viva's last line, Shay, intrigued, inquires further: "K17? That's an awfully strange name for a drone, one I'd've noted down if I came across it. Can't say I've met them, and I've made acquaintance with more or less all of Berghardt, for better or for worse... May you introduce me? Such a name sparks intrigue."

"K17's an... interesting character. Honestly we don't know much about her, she hasn't told us. What I could extract from her when we first met was that she was originally from the Elliot manor."

Viva pulls out one of her many journals from her bag, flipping through the pages till she reached one partially blank one in particular.

"During one of her repairs I uh... couldn't help but investigate a little further. Couldn't do much seeing as most of her memories are kept in a locked folder that she refuses to give the key for. However, I did find out she was one of the original Disassembly Drone prototypes. Her testing apparently failed so she was repurposed."

Viva hesitantly closed her book, putting it back along the others.

"I'd be willing to introduce you to her, yeah. She's certainly something. Maybe you can get more information out of her than I can."

-Viva

#murder drones oc #murder drones #shay responds #shay awenydd #non canon shay awenydd

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moeyes · 2 years ago

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“things that matter” ♡ | nikola tesla

pairing: nikola tesla x gn. reader

warnings: 4.8k words, afterlife au, pre-ror development, fluff, established relationship, far distance relationship issues, angst with a happy ending, slow build-up, soft make-out sessions

synopsis: your lover, consumed by his conquest for a massive breakthrough in his studies, loses sight of the people around him that matter– especially you.

HIS WORK, AND NOTHING MORE-- A COMMON PHRASE USED BY NIKOLA WHEN DESCRIBING HIS PASSIONS. It was one of the very things that you adored about your lover; indeed, his overwhelming devotion to whatever he puts his mind to. Hearing in excruciating details the discoveries Nikola has made so far, along with what he intends to do in the future. He never rushed his perfection, taking his time analyzing each and every component of a plan to make sure everything is executed flawlessly. No matter how much time it took him, he would spend every fiber of his being to complete it.

It was always a sight to see him dancing around his lab with the equations and models that he scribbled down with a dull chalk bud used relentlessly. Nikola's eyes would always be brimming with purest form of fascination when he figured out an answer to his dilemmas, as if it were a gift that he's been given. Mozart's symphonies would echo throughout the hall on his record player, playing for long spans of time whenever he was too focused on the task at hand to change it.

There were even instances where Nikola pushed his body to the extreme, leaving him to feel lethargic from the lack of food and sleep. You had grown used to taking care of him during those times, pampering him with his favorite meals and resting the rest of the day away. Majority of the time, Nikola recognized the limits that his body held, but there was one particular research project that spiraled him down into passing out. You could recall everything that transpired that day. The sheer fright of how pale his skin looked, how his cheeks have thinned, and how his eyebags had darkened, creating semi-permanent indentations around his eyes.

Bringing him from off the floor, you eased him down onto his desk chair, propping up his body to where he wasn't uncomfortable. Fetching some water and a clean cloth, you started with dipping the cloth into the bowl, squeezing out the excess water before dabbing the wet fabric onto his face to wake Nikolas. You repeated the process for a few cycles before you noticed him beginning to wake. At that moment, you knew you couldn't hold your tongue with the way he was treating his body. "You mustn't push your body to the brink of exhaustion, dearest! Seeing you as a workaholic husk instead of the vivacious and hungry man fueled by his desire to create, to help others concerned me to no end."

It was as if you were scolding a child as the words poured feverishly past your lips. Fist clenched and shoulders squared, you held your ground on the matter, yet you couldn't make yourself glare at his disheveled frame. No, your gaze softened as you knelt down to Nikola's seated body, pressing the gentlest of kisses to his calloused fingertips to his bruised knuckles. "I love how attentive you are to your career as an inventor, but you can't drown yourself in the storm of ideas you constantly have brewing in your head. You need to establish a balance between your work and your well-being."

Nikola placed his hand over yours, letting your words sink in and permeate in his head. He always hated being wrong, but he couldn't deny that your words held the truth. What he hated even more was seeing you in such a distraught state of mind, worrying over him. His thumb rubbed circles across the joints of your fingers, as if you were the one who needed comforting.

"I'm sorry, my love. There's no need to fret over me any longer." He said, his voice low and raspy instead of his usual bombastic volume he emitted wherever he went. "I'm always going to worry about you because I care. I just don't want you to drown yourself in your work." Blue eyes that made even the clearest of skies pale in comparison stared down at you dully, lacking the luster that once made them sparkle. You cup the side of his face tenderly, raising his head from its slumped state.

"Just... Promise me you'll try to take better care of yourself?" Nikola didn't respond with words; instead, he leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss to your temple. His hands clung onto your top, the fabric being dug into by his hands. Your usual perfume filled his nostrils, a scent that even in the deepest of trances can bring some awareness for him. More than anything in this very moment, Nikola wanted the company that he isolated himself from for far too long. "I'll try, just promise you'll be patient with me." There was no question on the matter, you knew that you would always wait for him, because you were indubitably in love with him.

Even in death, as your soul became your sentient being, your final form, you stayed by his side. Both of you appearing in your prime, his tousled back hair to his vibrant blue eyes, he was just as how you remembered him. Holding the same vigor he carried throughout his past life, he worked even harder within a world that had no limitations in the pursuit of his studies. With newfound access to creators from timelines both in the past and future, he was able to converse with some of the brightest minds from across history. understanding what was once foreign to him.

Of course, Nikola made a greater effort in spending time with you as well. Apart from his fast-paced ramblings and frantic pacing throughout the new workspace he had created with you, Nikola explored things outside the realm of science, things of your interest. Showing you grand gestures by creating little trinkets and décor that made him think of you, scheduling days away from his job to devote that time to you and you alone-- whether it be simply appreciating one another's company or taking you out to sightsee areas that he believed you would like. Seeing him take into mind what you've said in the past, seeing him make an effort after spending countless years with one another, was touching. You knew how much being an inventor meant to Nikola, and in no way would you ever try to take that away from him.

Just as much as he compromised for you, you made sure to reciprocate the same notion to him. There would be times where it stretched for days where you wouldn't hear from him, seeing as he close himself off into his lab like a hermit when the latest idea that he had needed to be fulfilled. Little notes would be transferred between the two of you in these moments to reassure one another that you were doing alright with the use of a robotic pigeon named Regis that he created for this sole purpose. It was miraculous how lively the animatronic acted, almost like she were your pet bird. Whenever she wasn't sending messages between the both of you, she would keep you company during the time Nikola couldn't.

And no matter what, in the end of his grueling sessions, you were always the first for Nikola to sought after, showing you the fruit of all of his hard work, going into depth for every specific detail and purpose for what each mechanic served. To tie it all together, he would always pull you into his embrace, peppering kisses all along your face as you would giggle at his antics. Everything in your "life" with Nikola was going smoothly, and you wouldn't trade it for the world, but even in the afterlife, things can't be harmonious forever. There were rumors uprising about the Gods consulting about an event called Ragnarök occurring, and out of all the billions of people that could've been chosen, Nikola Tesla was one of the thirteen warriors drafted to fight for humanity.

You knew there was no swaying Nikola from carrying out with this request, no matter how much your heart yearned for him to refuse, to back down this once, so he could stay with you. He was too stubborn, too prideful about his intelligence in what science has to shoe to ever step down; in fact, you swore that he was elated to be picked for the duel, eyes brimming inexplicably bright as the sides of his mouth twitched upwards. For how long you've known Nikola, it's amazing how he still manages to baffle you every once in a while. What was no surprise, though, was how quickly he went to work afterwards, sparring no time for civilities any longer, for he had work to do.

"There's no time to lose," He dressed himself quickly, rushing from out the bedsheets to gather some of his most needed equipment to bring along with him. Where he was exactly going, neither of you knew, but he was told that he would be escorted to a private chambers later in the day via letter. "I will ensure that Regis stays with you. I don't know when I'll see you next." He looked at you, watching the twitch of your lips as you tried your best to hold a smile. "I know." Nikola knew that you understood the gravitation of the situation, it just didn't make it any easier to part from one another. "I'm a sorry excuse of a lover. I know, time and time again, I don't deserve someone as understanding as you are, but please wait for me."

You shook your head at his self-degrading, disapproving of any of the claims that he had made about himself. "I always will, Nikola." Affirming your words with a kiss to his lips, you relished the feeling of his smooth lips, the stale taste of whiskey lingering when you parted away from him. Making sure that neither of you could forget the feeling of each other, Nikola brought his lips back onto yours, this time, holding the notion for longer. His gloved thumb cupped the side of your jaw, controlling the pace.

He kissed you as if it would be his last, sharing to you what could not be expressed through words, before he pulled away, eyes lulling over you. Exhaling through your nose, you pecked the corner of his mouth before moving away. "Let's finish up quickly. Maybe we'll have time for a drink afterwards." Nikola offered, grinning in your direction before he turned to work on a section of his lab, next to you. The time spent getting his items packed together was short, but you spent it as close as you possibly could to each other until he had to depart.

Brunhilde, the eldest of the Valkyrie sisters, was quick to usher Nikola into a space where he could concur his masterpiece alongside the most brilliant minds within history, locked away to handle his own devices. You knew you wouldn't be seeing Nikola for a while, hearing him discuss all the varying thoughts he had stored up in that magnificent mind of his, nor have him hold you during nightfall, where the warmth of his body would ease you to sleep. This situation was bigger than you, and he had his wondrous destiny to triumph over, so you had to be strong. You had to conceal your emotions on the matter, and support him as best as you could from the sidelines.

Time seemed to pass effortlessly over the span of weeks, going on two months, and you hadn't heard a peep from Nikola. It was as if he had disappeared off the very face of the Earth, and you had no means of finding him. Patience was becoming something you couldn't afford, no matter how much you attempted to coax yourself into whatever ideas you'd like to believe was true. There was no evidence to support any of your claims, anything your imagination manifested for the sake of comfort, and knowing that made you impatient. The only communication line you had has now been severed, and your only hope was that one of your little friends could reach out to him, or someone that could get you to him.

"Please try and find him for me, Regis. I need to know that he's doing okay." Your desperate whispers were weak as you cradled the metallic bird within your trembling hands. The request was tied to one of its hindlimbs, a shriveled up note lacking any of the flair that you would typically put in. It was a pathetic excuse of a request to see him, at the earliest convenience, to whoever had the capability to hear your woes and help out. You watched as Regis's intricate wings flapped, before leaving the window of your chambers until she was out of sight. With taking account of Regis's speed, she could locate Nikola within the span of a few hours, if his lab was in close distance.

All you could in that time was clean yourself up, changing from out of the days old clothing that had been left on your back to change into something much more presentable for the public eye. Combing out the tangles in your hair that you had refused to have taken care of any earlier and brushing your teeth until all the plaque buildup had been scrubbed away. You tried to recall the moment you fell out of your daily routines of self care, being about for days ago when the an entire two months had passed with no words exchanged with Nikola. Of course, you had your friends, but you wanted the company of your lover, you had to see him, or at least hear him. This was the longest you had gone without seeing him, or without one of those little notes he would send you to show you that he was at least still functioning.

You didn't want to disturb him, but you wished that he reached out first to let you know that he was okay, and that he longed to see you just as much as you do now. You blink away the tears that attempted to gloss over your eyes-- no, you wouldn't cry, even though thinking about the loss of contact hurt. Reminiscing over what was instead of how things are now made things easier for a time, but they were no permanent solution by any means. Once you were finished tidying yourself up, you occupied the time by going throughout the piles of notes that he had composed throughout his projects, his handwriting surprisingly eloquent for how fast he jotted everything down. Even throughout his scattered thoughts, you were a sidenote on every few pages, seeing Nikola's deepest desires to be beside you used as a motivation to work even harder.

Sometimes you were a footnote on the side, but then there were others where thoughts of you would take up the entirety of a page. If something was used to quell your anxious thoughts of how much importance you are to him, the hundreds of pages that you were on made all the doubt you once held wash away the more you buried yourself into his writing. Digging deeper and deeper into every stack that you could get your hands on, you saw how much he cared, and that in the stretched out times that you were apart, even now, still took a toll on him too. Despite feeling so bitter initially, so lost as to where you stand with Nikola, you nearly forgot the type of man your dearest was.

Nikola Tesla was a lover unlike any other, one who was so devoted that his eyes never strayed to another, one who once makes a promise never backs down from it. His resolve was strong, which was probably one of the very reasons he was chosen to fight for humanity. This wasn't something that should make you upset, it should be something that makes you proud of all of his efforts being recognized by the Gods. If that isn't a feat in itself, then you didn't know what was. You smiled to yourself, one that was genuine, for the first time in what felt like weeks. "Nikola, wait for me just a little bit longer. I'm on my way." You declared aloud, your voice echoing throughout the domed space, before proceeding to examine more of his research entries as Mozart played in your ears.

"My, I never thought I would have the opportunity to examine the mad scientist's before-death work for myself." A feminine voice jested, one that sounded quite familiar to your ears. You whipped your head around, surprised by the unexpected intrusion on your privacy. Brunhilde, someone you didn't quite trust, waltz right past your locked door to stand right in front of you. "How did you-" "Valkyries have a lot of things that humans don't. Anyway, it's of no importance right now," It was clear that she wasn't going to elaborate any more on the whole "breaking-in" spiel, but you couldn't help but be curious by her sudden arrival. "There was a creation of Tesla's, a bird who approached me with a request made by you." Revealing the now crumpled note that she was holding onto, you were relieved to see that Regis was able to reach out to someone in power over the whole event.

"I wish to see Nikola. I know he's busy, so I'm grateful for any amount of time I'm able to spend with him," Your cheeks flushed deeper with each word you spoke, but you knew it was what you wanted more than anything else. "Has he been taking care of himself? I hope he hasn't been drowning himself in alcohol to keep up." Muttering the last part under your breath, you glanced towards her hopefully. With all the commotion going around, it would make sense if Brunhilde didn't have the time to check up on him daily, but she was the last one you saw interact with him. You figured she had to know something about his whereabouts. "Tesla has been well; in fact, he's been outworking all of his other colleagues, staying up for hours on end."

You chuckled at the thought, recalling yourself placed in a familiar situation with Tesla. Multiple different occurrences, each with their own story to tell. Times where you would escort him to bed, others where you provided him company when the moon was high-strung and vibrant. You could go on, and on with the stories you had to share, but now simply wasn't the time. "That sounds like him. For a man who a go with only an hour of sleep, it's incredible how he always manages to outpace everyone." You couldn't stop the smile from breaking out on your lips as you gazed back down at the last paper you were holding, one dedicated to you. "You care for him deeply." Brunhilde said in a matter-of-fact tone, fingertips grazing over the stray papers scattered across his desk as she made her way to you.

"He is always in my thoughts," You paused, grip tightening on the sheet of paper in your hands. "I'm surrounded by every little thing that reminds me of him. It's amazing how thinking of someone can make a person so happy, yet so sad at the same time." She hummed softly at your words, her walking ceasing when she made her way 'round the lab until she was right in front of you. "I can bring you to him. I believe Tesla seeing you will improve his work ethic significantly." Oh, so she did gain something out of helping you with your request, but it was of no matter. What did was that you wouldn't have to waste a second more wallowing in your loneliness, because you would be with him. "I would love nothing more than to see him."

Brunhilde flashed a smile in your direction, beckoning you with a wave of her hand. Without hesitation, you followed her without second thought out of the room to as she lead you out of your home, out to an area you didn't recognize. There were so many questions you wanted to ask her, but a part of you assumed that Brunhilde wasn't the type to share all of her cards to anyone she didn't trust. Deciding that it would be best to ask Nikola his perspective when you had the chance, you kept your mouth shut as you continued to walk alongside her in silence. Being graced with the enormous arena structure that replicated the common Greek architecture, you marveled at the sight for a moment, before realizing that she continued to walk within the open hallways.

Venturing throughout this place was most certainly a workout in itself. Various corridors and stairs to escalate, you began to wonder how it was so easy for Brunhilde to keep such a consistent pace with all the walking you had to do to get around. "Don't worry, we're almost there." She suddenly informed you, as if she was able to read your mind. Maybe it was the telltale signs of the way you struggled to keep her pace, with every one step she made, you had to take two. Nodding at her words, you noticed her turn a sharp corner, leading towards a padlocked door. It resembled the type that would be in action novels where a big heist would take place, overbearing and intimidating to the eye. "He's in here?" Your heart was beginning to pace much faster than before, hands becoming clammy at the thought as you looked ahead, thoughts racing, and every single one of them about Nikola.

"Yes, he is. Are you ready?" Brunhilde glanced over at you through her peripheral vision, her hand already placed down on the scanner that allowed her access into the sealed off space. "I have been for quite sometime now-- I can't even contain my excitement." You exhaled, drawing it out longer to really feel like this was happening. You could feel the burning in your muscles for the far out walk that had to be made, but everything about the destination and finally being reunited all felt so surreal to the point where it was hard to decipher if this was true. The door whirled in recognition to the Valkyrie, the gigantic handles spinning automatically until another machine peered out. She followed it, head tilting upwards to where her eyes were visible enough for the machine to process. A beeping sound rung out in confirmation, causing the door to swing open, granting both of you access inside.

A short tunnel proceeded soon after, filled to the brim with different pipelines going all throughout the walls, emitting a fluorescent glow from all corners. "He did all that?" You gaped, referencing the tight security established just to get into the room alone. "Indeed. He is quite the mad scientist, isn't he?" She commented, gesturing to the final barrier standing in front of you. It was a much simpler door in comparison to the one you were faced with before, a basic turn-the-knob mechanic that threw you off. You motioned your hand to the handle, eliciting a singular nod from the dark-haired woman as a sign to proceed. Wiping your hands on your slacks, you reached out to place your hand on the silver handle with a tight grip, before turning it open to bare witness to the sight in front of you.

A very spacious lab with rounded walls that were all covered to the brim with filled-up chalkboards, windows acting as dividers all throughout the lining of the walls. Endless sheets of papers acted as a rug throughout the flooring with the occasional stack of books on the side. It was a mess, to say the least, but that could be discussed on a later note. Rushing fully into the room, your eyes searched for the one person you were trying to locate, until the door was slowly beginning to close. Brunhilde waved at you a farewell before the door completely closed due to the force of a familiar gloved hand. Following the direction of the arm, your eyes trailed upward to see a recognized set of clothing, continuing until you saw him, Nikola Tesla in all his upstanding glory.

He looked healthy, skin just as fair as it was when he left, his enchanting blue eyes staring at you with a gaze that made your heart swell, and a grin, one that was so bright that it left you awestricken. Brown hair tousled, majority of it pushed back with a few wavy strands falling to his forehead as Regis was parched on his shoulder, just like old times. You reached out to him, voice failing to make itself apparent, but that didn't stop him from making his way to you, carefully grabbing your wrist to bring your hand up to his cheek. He was flushed, and so warm to the touch. His natural, earthly scent that he tended to emit filled your senses, allowing your tense hand to ease up, cupping the side of his face more properly. You had so much that you wanted to say, so many questions brewing inside your head, but they all felt pointless to ask because Nikola was here with you now, so nothing else mattered.

"I've been waiting for such a long time." Was all that came out from your mouth, finally taking the chance to look him head on. "I know." Is what he replied with, turning his head slightly to press a kiss to the palm of your hand. "I've missed you-- more than you would ever know." You let out a shaky breath. It was becoming much harder to have a proper restraint over your emotions, and Nikola knew it. "Whenever I slept, it was you who filled all my dreams." He admitted, his smile becoming lopsided as he pensively let his sight be taken up by you alone. "I wish you reached out to me, I've sent countless letters to you throughout the days, yet to be met with no response," Tears prickled your eyes as you recounted the days where your hope dwindled with each passing day you waited, as per his request.

It was unbearable, that period of isolation etched into your mind, becoming a part of your life that won't become easy to simply move on from. Eventually though, you will, and you know that. "As much as it hurt, I'm just so much more relieved to see you." Moving your hand away from his face, you brought his shoulder forward to bring him into a tight embrace. Bringing his hands up to your back, Nikola squeezed you back, everything feeling so right when you are in his arms. It was if he was finally home, and he didn't realize how much he missed it, until he had to be apart from you. Kissing any surface of exposed skin, he wanted to show his appreciation for you, wanting to be rid of any thoughts during your time apart that were dark and simply untrue. From your collarbone to your neck, maneuvering upwards until your lips were the only unmarked spot.

He kissed you light, almost as if he was asking permission to continue further into the kiss. You both came to a compromise, you meeting him halfway as your lips finally pressed fully onto one another in conjunction. You combed your hair through his wavy strands, feeling how silky smooth they still were as you pushed him forward, even further in. Nikola was precise, excelling in knowing what exactly pleases you, and it was no different when he had his fingers brushing the nape of your neck, causing you to shudder from his touch. He chuckled against your lips, before moving his face back to have enough room to examine your flushed cheeks. "You haven't changed in the slightest." He hummed, your chin in his grasp as he thoroughly checked your body for any prominent changes that would come easy for him to notice.

Smiling at his familiar antics, you cheekily stated, "Neither have you. It's not something I mind, though." Your combined laughter echoed throughout the area, with Nikola tumbling back and pulling you down with him all across the papers that provided a surprisingly plush landing. Your head was placed right on top of his sturdy chest, unsure of what exactly was going on until Nikola's arm tucked under your body, bringing you closer to him.

"I want to share with you everything that I have discovered, everyone that I've met, and all that I have managed to accomplish in our time apart," Nikola exclaimed, hand reaching out towards the walls around him, motioning at the clearly visible result of a combined effort. "But more than anything, I want to hear about you. I want to know what you have been doing, even the mundane. The books you've read, the food you've eaten, I want to hear all about it, so won't you indulge me?"

a/n: wanted to write something soft for nikola's character because he is just too sweet.

#snv #snv x reader #ror #ror x reader #x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie #record of ragnorak #nikola tesla #ror nikola tesla #snv nikola tesla #fanfic #a03 #a03 fic #light angst #gender neutral reader #gn reader #reader insert #nikola tesla x reader

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killemwithkawaii · 2 years ago

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[CW: Kewk overshares, mental illness, negative self talk]

I feel like I'm constantly in a cycle of feeling ambitious and brimming with creative ideas, planning a bunch of projects at once, making them HUGE and biting off way more than I can chew, feeling rushed and frustrated during the process, being unsatisfied with whatever work I actually manage to do, then crashing, burning, and wallowing in self loathing because i did all that AGAIN when will I LEARN [SCREAMING] 🙃🙃🙃

I had so much I wanted to do during April... it was obviously too much, but it's so hard for me to estimate what I can actually accomplish in a set amount of time until I actually try to do it, and now here I am 😮‍💨 So, I apologize for the lack of posting and ask answers lately. I have a lot if sweet messages in my inbox that I keep spacing on or haven't had the executive function to answer, but I want you to know I really appreciate them and am thankful that y'all take the time to interact with me despite my inconsistency and unresponsiveness. 🥺💖 It's something I'm trying to work on, and hopefully I'll find a good balance one of these days... thanks for sticking around in the mean time 🤗💕💕💕

#k.e.w.k. overshares #tw mental illness #tw negative self talk

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legion1227 · 3 years ago

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Black Mirror Review

My favorite thing about Black Mirror is how the writers and creators collectively decided that the first episode should be about a man having to fuck a pig or someone will die.

Black Mirror is an anthology series. Each episode follows different characters and stories full to the brim with suspense and satire. Some might refer to it as the modern-day Twilight Zone as it also tackled issues relevant today, such as the consequences of new technology on society and individuals. Several episodes focus on advanced tech in a futuristic version of the modern world.

And then there's the first episode, where the British Prime Minister has to have sex with a pig, or the princess of the royal family will die. The premise and juxtaposition of the first episode, "The National Anthem," against other stories that grapple with themes of love or loss are hilarious to me. The episode itself isn't too funny, though. It's just an insane premise.

I watched the first two episodes a couple of years ago and found myself intrigued. I also indulged with the interactive film Black Mirror: Bandersnatch, back when that first dropped. It wasn't until this year that I rewatched those first two and followed up with the rest. I wasn't sure what to expect following the first two stories or the movie. After following through, I can say that the show is good but not great. Let's break it down by season.

Season 1 has three episodes. All of which have solid acting and engaging storylines. The pig-fucker episode has to be my favorite based on being quite ludicrous. The following episodes, "Fifteen Million Merits" and "The Entire History of You," have stronger stories to tell, though the former has better execution than the latter, in my opinion. Fifteen Million Merits also introduces Daniel Kaluuya before he blew up big in films like Jordan Peele's Get Out and Nope, to name a few. And his performance in the episode may be just as engaging. The Entire History of You has an intriguing idea where people have memory implants that allow them to record everything a human sees or hears. Unlike the previous two episodes, though, I feel it lacks a likable main character that I can latch onto.

Season 2 tries to up the ante and go bolder than 1. The storylines are more elaborate than in the previous season, but there are only four episodes. It's a mixed bag of a season. Its first episode, "Be Right Back," is one of the shows more depressing watches. Honestly, all the endings this season are downers. The third episode, "The Waldo Moment," is one of the weakest episodes of the entire run, with a bizarre premise about some comedian voicing a cartoon bear that gets mixed into politics.

Okay.

And yet, episodes 2 and 4, "White Bear" and "White Christmas," are some of the best episodes in the show's run. Lenora Crichlow, in the former, and Jon Hamm, in the latter, steal each episode with the best performances. Both have an equally excellent cast to work off of and feature surprise twists. Writer Charlie Brooker crafted two tense and breathtaking episodes that stand out from the series.

Season 3 has six episodes, and the only story I would put on par with the epics of "White Christmas" and "White Bear" is episode three's "Shut up and Dance." Like those episodes, "Shut up and Dance" features top-tier performances, excellent writing, and a story where you're not sure what will happen next. No other episode in the season comes close. "Nosedive" has an enjoyable performance from Bryce Dallas Howard but gets more interesting halfway through the episode. "Playtest" is a fun episode to watch around Halloween, which I did, but harbors one too many twists. "San junipero" is a love story that doesn't tear at the heartstring as much as I want it. "Men Against Fire" is the first story to fixate on war but remains dull. And "Hated in the Nation" is an equally unengaging snore-fest that equates to a detective drama. I'm not a fan of that genre, so that episode did not work for me. There were also metal bees in it or something; I don't know. It's dumb.

Season 4 had the same amount of episodes as season 3. The first and fourth episodes are the standouts of the season. Episode one, "USS Callister' is practically an homage to Star Trek, The Original Series. I haven't seen Jesse Plemons play someone so unlikable so well since his role as Todd in Breaking Bad. And Episode Four's "Hang the DJ" provides a unique spin on a love story. The remaining episodes of the season are all varying degrees of mid. "Arkangel" and "Crocodile" are depressing episodes without substance. "Metalhead" is visually interesting, and that's the most it has going for it. "Black Museum" is an ambitious, decent episode. The only episode that tells a couple of short stories, but the stories themselves could've worked as separate episodes themselves.

Lastly, season 5 has three episodes, with only the first one truly worth noting. "Striking Vipers" is odd, but the performances from the leads Anthony Mackie and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II elevate it. In the episode, they play old college friends that reconnect through a VR version of a fighting game. From there, they make unexpected discoveries about one another. The other two episodes aren't worth noting. "Smithereens" has an open-ended ending that I like, and "Rachel, Jack, and Ashley Too," well, I like that Miley Cyrus is in it; Oh, and the movie Bandersnatch is fun as hell; Of the handful of interactive films Netflix has, I enjoyed Bandersnatch the most. Choose-your-own adventure tales are a genre that I adore, especially in movie form. It's meta, clever, has replayability/rewatchability unlike others, and sometimes funny while other times anxiety-inducing.

In conclusion, Black Mirror is a mixed bag. There's no episode I would say is awful or terrible, but some are weaker than others. It's the type of show where you'll prefer some episodes over others. Not every episode will hit, but the ones that do will hit hard. Every episode is worth watching at least once. Some storylines fair better than others, but the acting is consistently great. It's a good series that's almost great. 3.5/5.

#black mirror #review #tv show review #tv review #bandersnatch

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sophfandoms53 · 4 years ago

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I have so many thoughts about Evan’s recent comments on GOTF and idk if this is gonna come out in a coherent way but I wanna just ramble and get them out so... here we go.

Evan’s strategy when it comes to both Sonic and Tikal’s relationship, as well as Sonic and Shadow’s, appears to be through subtlety and small moments, and it makes sense, the comic has a huge plot going on that it needs to keep its focus on. So looking back, you can see those small moments and realize the undertones of them, it’s a very smart decision on Evan’s part to handle things this way. It shows the greater bond that lies within these three characters of her story.

Touching a bit more upon the subject on how she’s handled and described her intentions on Sonic and Shadow, that additional tweet made me think a lot, and how she pointed out the contrast between her take on Sonic/Shadow’s dynamic vs other romantic works of the two. Evan described the usual shipping dynamic as a “dark and passionate tone” while her’s leans into a more “trust and mutually healing” one, and I think that’s a really good take for her to have and execute. It’s also kind of a commentary on how the dynamic of sonadow has changed throughout the years.

Speaking just generally, not just GOTF, Sonic and Shadow as a relationship, in fandom, has had its ups and downs. The ship during the mid to late 2000’s, and I think many of us who have been Sonic fans for years can all agree with this, was filled to the brim with homophobic treatment, weird fetishization, and some times the ship was portrayed as just downright abusive. That was the heavily normalized version of Sonadow during this time, it was a joke ship, people laughed at you for genuinely feeling a relationship between Sonic and Shadow could actually work. If you weren’t being lowkey homophobic about it, fetishizing the gay ship, or having sonic and shadow abusing each other, you were made fun of.

But the times have changed. The internet and people have grown. A relationship between two males, whether hedgehogs or humans, is something that a vast majority of people support and would love to see be happy and healthy. You can see many Sonadow shippers nowadays being able to share the genuine ideas they have on how they feel a good version of Sonic and Shadow would work. They’re able to explore and create so many wonderful works of the two and not have that worry about being made fun by a majority of the sonic fan base anymore. This change has allowed us to see what a healthy relationship between Sonic and Shadow would look like and so many people just make it so damn wholesome.

And I think that’s also something worth talking about. The absence of portraying happy and healthy couples in media nowadays. Just like how Sonadow was normalized as a toxic ship back in the 2000s, relationships in stories, movies, and shows are still constantly portrayed as toxic and abusive and it’s normalized. The idea of not being able to trust your partner, constant fighting over nothing, gaslighting and manipulative behavior, is so heavily normalized in media and it’s gotta stop. Relationships that are co-dependent, that have one partner questioning their trust in their lover constantly, that have one partner not being able to speak up, that have both people yelling at each other over small things, that have unhealthy jealousy, that have one partner who promises to change and then constantly relapses into their bad behavior because they know their partner will stay, all of that, it’s not good.

No relationship should ever be that way, and it is frustrating seeing so many things in media portray relationships that lack basic trust and respect as healthy and functional, when all they are are unhealthy and dysfunctional, which again is not good and should not be normalized. This can also apply to unhealthy friendships as well.

So to see that Evan, a member of the Sonic community and a worker for SEGA, taking a ship/dynamic that was once portrayed as something negative, and transforming it into one that is filled with mutual trust, understanding, and the want for both parties to heal properly, it’s incredibly inspiring and heartwarming. You can see that throughout the issues that Sonic and Shadow do greatly care for each other, their friendship is healthy, they want each other to improve and grow, they push each other, and they truly do love each other, platonically or romantically, it doesn’t matter, they just do and it shows.

Those are the relationships that matter.

#hello hi accidentally wrote a novel at 3 am #just had a lot of thoughts at the moment #hope i don’t regret this but I had to get it all out #anywaysssss #hope y’all are good #pls read evan’s comic it’s good #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow #sonic fandom #in a sense

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kim-miyeon · 4 years ago

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Hell Above-Chapter Nine

PAIRINGS: Hwang Hyunjin x Female Reader

WARNINGS: Series contains mature content. read at your own discretion. Mafia!AU, explicit language, suggestive language, sexual scenes, unprotected sex, slight degradation, family issues, mild abuse, angst, 18+

WORD COUNT: 5.1K

Previous | Next

Does It Even Make A Difference? When I’m Sober, I Feel Pain.

It was agonizing.

You sat there, head held up by your clasped fists and leaning over shaking your leg. It was agonizing to wait and wonder. There was so much weighing on your heart and mind that you didn’t know where to place your concern. As you sat across Minho and Felix who were impatiently waiting with the same worry that you had, Seungmin pacing the hallway further down, you couldn’t help but wish that you could take away all the pain Jeongin was in behind the doors of the hospital’s operating room. The image of him falling to the ground and the blood seeping on your hands replayed in your head like a movie, which led you to your next nightmare as the film carried on. A moment you never wanted to live, a scene you didn’t want to replay. When Hyunjin looked into your eyes. How he lowered his weapon. Your inability to pull the trigger.

How Seungmin was able to drug Hyunjin with an injection before you were able to fully grasp the situation. Before you were able to say anything besides

“I’m sorry.”

Because at that moment, you felt sorry. Sorry for being in this position, for whatever idea of you was playing in his mind. You didn’t know if you’d ever see him again after that, so in that moment… saying sorry is all that you could say.

Suddenly the door of the operation section opened and you jolted up along with Minho and Felix.

“Yang Jeongin..”

The doctor began and you stepped forward in desperation, “We are his family. How is he? Is he out of surgery?”

“He is still in surgery. He may be here over night. He has sustained a lot of injuries and we are running into complications so the operation will take a while.”

“But he is okay, right?” Seungmin stood behind you as you felt tears well in your eyes at the news. Minho turned to you softly as you were falling apart at the scene.

“It’s hard to say confidently if he will recover from his injuries but the doctors are doing all they can.”

“Thank you doctor.” Felix said lowly as the doctor retreated.

“I think you should head home Y/N.” Minho softly said as Seungmin looked at him anxiously.

“I’ll take her.” Seungmin said and lightly grabbed your arm as you yanked it still feeling the weight on your heart pull you down.

“I’m not leaving.” You spat.

“WHERE IS MY GRANDSON?!”

The hairs on your back stood up chilling as you felt the world stop. The sudden deep voice pulled your attention and you saw your grandfather walking over to the four of you in anger. Pure rage.

“Grandfather..” Felix whispered.

“Y/N, What the fuck have you done?! What is wrong with Jeongin!?”

Your grandfather marched straight to you and pushed Seungmin to the side as he gripped your arms and pulled you into him. You couldn’t even resist as you felt responsible, that this was your punishment.

“Jeongin’s in surgery.. he..”

“SHUT UP.”

A slap. Right against your cheek as you fell to the ground from the backhanded impact. Felix rushed to your side as you made contact with the cold hard floor. The taste of blood dripped In your mouth as you raised your hands to your lips and felt the cut bleeding. You looked up to your grandfather and then to Minho who stood there looking at you with sadden eyes.

“YOU…. have brought shame to this family. Because of you, a member of our family was attacked, a situation that could have been avoided if you would have just been a lot smarter. But no, you are selfish. You never think about anything. A common woman. Only using your emotions to guide you. Foolish.”

“Grandfather..” Seungmin softly said.

“Shut up boy! I have given you plenty of chances Y/N, to prove your worthiness to lead this family but you are unfit.”

You looked at the man as he turned his gaze to Minho.

“Lee Minho.”

“Yes, grandfather.” Minho answered and looked at your grandfather straight on.

“Tomorrow, I want you to begin the transition of power as stated in the 32nd clause of the Lee Family creed.”

“What?” Minho said shockingly.

“What?” You repeated through clenched teeth.

“You are unfit. Uneducated. You will not lead this family any longer. Minho will begin his training to succeed you and we will prepare for the transition.”

Your grandfather walked over to you and you flinched slightly as he stood in front of you, head tilted down and hands behind his back.

“All of this could have been avoided if you had just done what you were assigned to do, girl. Your father would be disappointed in you.”

You shook in fear and sadness at his words as he continued, “You’re lucky that execution was not considered for your treason to the family.”

With that, your grandfather walked back to the front of the hospital and you clenched your jaw at the whole scene. Yeji told you that someone didn’t like that you were the leader....there was a mole in your family and you looked up at Minho as he stood there. He slowly looked over to you and you stood up with Felix’s help and his eyes searched yours.

“Y/N.. I-”

“Are you satisfied yet Minho?”

“I didn’t—”

“Don’t…” you plug your hand up to stop Minho from continuing as you began to walk away from you cousins, your mind feeling overwhelmed from the amount of emotions that you were in.

As you walked slowly, you thought about how maybe this was a good thing. To transition your power to Minho, and how maybe you wouldn't mind being killed. But then you thought about Hyunjin. Your mind replayed the scene in the basement and the way Hyunjin looked at you. It was heartbreaking that the years you had spent together were coming short and everything was left unknown. You didn’t know what he knew, and you wonder if he had woken up. Was he okay? Did he get hurt? You felt your heart ache as the thought of something happening to him and you once again felt tears brim your eyes as you stopped walking and felt a presence of someone behind you.

“Why are you following me?” You asked.

“I think we should talk Y/N.” The voice of Seungmin’s rang in your ears as he was soft and innocently asking for your time.

You couldn’t be mad at him. And you know what he was going to ask you, things couldn’t be hidden anymore. Not after this.

“Why didn’t you kill him?”

You bit your lip and felt a small hot tear run down your cheek at Seungmin’s question. It was time to be honest.

“He was right there, Y/N. He surrendered to you.. I saw it. You just didn’t pull the trigger.”

“I couldn’t do it.” Your lips quivered as you softly whispered loud enough for Seungmin to hear you. You felt more tears come and you started to let it all out.

Seungmin walked closer to you and stood in front of you as you were falling apart. Your mind, body, and soul, feeling crushed and lacking any hope. It was all too much for you to take in and Seungmin knew that you had never broken down like this ever. He wrapped his arms around you as you were limp in his chest, sobbing. He stroked your hair and you whimpered as you tried to catch a breath.

“You love him, Y/N.”

You couldn’t speak through your choked sobs so you nodded against Seungmin’s chest. You heard him sigh against you and you found yourself pulling back away from him.

“All this time?” He questioned as you wiped your tears and nodded again.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Seungmin lookesyou and stepped forward to help you wipe your tears. “You were suffering alone all this time.”

“Jeongin knew.”

Seungmin sighed and you looked up at him as he carefully tried to comfort you.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do Seungmin. Yeji ordered me to kill Hyunjin but he saw me.. he knows now.”

You felt tears come back to your wet eyes and you hung your head, “I don’t want to live a life where he isn’t with me. I can’t be here and know that he could hate me for knowing who I truly am. It’s eating me inside Seungmin, I want to be with him so badly..”

“So go to him.”

You stopped and looked at Seungmin as if he was ludacris. He looked at you in the most serious state and you shook your head.

“Are you mad? I can’t go—“

“Y/N. Hyunjin loves you, you know that. We know that.”

You did know that, didn’t you?

“Go home. Go see him tonight because tomorrow..”

Seungmin pushed and you looked down knowing what was coming.

“Tomorrow may not come.”

Seungmin was right. The consequences of you disobeying not only your grandfather but Yeji could cause commotions in the mafia world tomorrow. You weren’t sure what would happen, and what information would leak. It was so difficult to be in a limbo state at every turn. You only dream of a world where you and Hyunjin could live freely and share your life with a family. Growing old together and sharing every piece of the world. That wasn’t going to happen. You knew as long as you two were alive, you both couldn’t be together. It broke your heart. But you knew that Seungmin was right.

“What about Jeongin? I can’t just leave him here, I have to stay-.” You questioned and Seungmin sighed as he stopped you.

“Jeongin would be telling you the same thing I am.” He was right. You knew that if the situation was any different, Jeongin would be telling you to go to Hyunjin.

“Okay. I’ll go.”

*******************************************************

Hyunjin felt his eyes pry open as he heard the sound of men talking from a few feet away. His head was pounding and his body ached as he tried to shift and move.

“Woah woah Hyunjin,” Hyunjin saw Jisung come to his side from behind the couch that Hyunjin was laying on. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin sat up with Jisung’s help, “I’m good, what happened?”

“We were hoping you could tell us that.” The sound of Changbin’s voice echoed as he came from behind Hyunjin with Chan next to him “We found you in the basement on the floor. You were out for an hour.”

“You didn’t see anyone down there with you?” Chan asked and Hyunjin shook his head and then that’s when he remembered.

You.

“You said that the leader of the Lee Family was here right Chan?” Hyunjin felt his heart beat faster at the thought of you being someone you weren’t.

“Yeah, I was told that he would be in the basement. You told us to check the perimeters, we didn’t catch him.”

Hyunjin spared you. He knew that in that moment it was you, him, and the gun. But he couldn’t grasps why you were down there, who you really were, or have you been a Lee all this time. The leader who hid in plain sight. But the boys didn’t know, or so it seemed. Hyunjin didn’t want to let them know that he saw you there, not until he saw you first.

He knew you. Or maybe he didn’t. But the woman that he loves would come home. You’d be at home waiting for him. Maybe to kill him, but in Hyunjin’s mind, he didn’t care.

“Hyunjin,”

Hyunjin looked up at the boys who were waiting for his next response.

“I have to get home.” Hyunjin said and stood up from the couch, noticing that they were still in the Lee Mansion. It was so dark and grey with hints of despair and murder. Hyunjin thought about the massacre of the Lee Family which occurred right in this house. Generations of his bloodline, fighting against the Lee family and how he allowed someone, his enemy, to coerce him. He needed to know the truth. He needed you to tell him that you weren’t of Lee blood. That you weren’t the leader. He needed to pretend that everything was okay. But the fear that you never loved him in the way he loves you imprinted his mind as he began to head out of the home and walk towards him car.

********************************************************

Hyunjin walked up to the door of his home, inserting the key to see that the door was cracked open. He felt his ears grow hot as the pit of his stomach felt heavy and light all at once. The suspense of what could be behind the door caused him to grab his gun in his holster, and aim it at the door. He pushed open the door and was welcomed to a dark home. The silhouettes of the couch and the tv were the first things he noticed as he knew someone had to have been here. He wondered if it was you. Where were you?

He stepped closer into the home and walked slowly as he aimed his gun at anything and everything, scanning the rooms intensely. He approached the dining room and the kitchen, places he assumed you’d be in, but was led to another empty space. He then walked slowly to the hallway that led to your bedroom and as he approached his eyes first saw the curvature of your figure in the hallway. He immediately took his stance with the gun aimed at you as you stood there looking at a photo hung up on the wall.

You stared at the photo of you two, sharing smiles and laughing. A memory made one day in the park, your engagement photos. You smiled painfully in the dark and knew Hyunjin was across from you, ready to fire his weapon. He turned on the hallway light to get a more clear picture of you and was taken aback at your ability to look so beautiful when you have been through distress. He felt captivated by you as if you were a drug. He wondered if he really could pull the trigger now.

“Are you really going to keep your aim at me?” You turned and looked at Hyunjin who was staring back at you and you began to walk closer to him, step by step.

“Don’t come closer.” He demanded and you kept walking.

“I’m serious Y/N or I will—“

“What? Are you going to pull the trigger?” You stood in front of him with his gun pressed up against your chest. A reverse imagery of the hours before. Hyunjin looked down at your beaded eyes as you tried to stay calm and collected. You weren’t sure where Hyunjins mind was and you didn’t feel confident that he wouldn’t shoot. You saw in his eyes however, a battle. He was internally battling his emotions. You wanted to be honest with him, you wanted to have something.

“Who are you?” He whispered.

You were crushed. He wasn’t sure anymore that you were the woman he loved. How could he be?

“I’m your wife. Hwang Y/N.”

“No….you know what I mean.” He tensed and you sighed back to him and nodded.

“Why were you down there, Y/N? What is going on? How did you find that place?” Hyunjin began ram biking all the questions in his mind, word vomiting. You just stood there feeling yourself grow tears again. He was breaking in front of you. Both of you were breaking down.

“Was it even real?”

That’s where he got you. A dagger through your heart. Was it even real? All of this, the love, the way you looked at him, how you held him, everything. All these years, was it even real. He lowered his weapon and you watched him as he started to succumb to his emotions, tears not holding back.

“Hyunjin.” You placed your hands on his wet cheeks as he dropped his weapon to the floor and took hold of your wrists as he looked at you

“If everything is fake..can you just tell me that the love was real?”

“Hyunjin, I have never loved anyone the way I love you.”

Hyunjin looked into your eyes as you began to cry and he couldn’t hold back. If everything else was a lie, he needed this to be the truth. He needed you differently than he ever had. He knew in his heart, there was no reason to live if you weren’t next to him. You two were cut from the same strand of souls. You were made for him, that had to be true. He didn’t care if he woke up tomorrow and found out you were a Lee. He didn’t care if your families disapproved of your relationship. If you loved him and he loved you, why does anything else matter.

So he wrapped his large hand around the back of your head and pulled you in to place his lips on you. A feeling of shock tingled through the both of you and you wrapped your arms around him. Your lips melding perfectly like they always have before. Your bodies sharing the heat of the moment. There was so much desperation and fear. You both knew it. Tomorrow wasn’t granted. But you two had tonight. You knew that you couldn’t be with him after tonight. That tomorrow could take a turn for the worst.

“Hyunjin…” you breathed as you pulled back slowly.

“Yes love.”

“I promise I’ll tell you everything tomorrow, everything that you want to know. Just know that how I feel about you, that was real. And will always be real.” Hyunjin’s eyes looked deep into yours and he smiled as he leaned in to kiss you.

“I love you Hyunjin.” You whispered against his lips kissing him again.

“I love you too, Y/N.” He kissed you back as he ran his hands down the side of your body, fingertips caressing the inside of your shirt, over your waist and pants. You moan at the coldness of his fingertips against your warm skin. Hyunjin walks you back, still pressed against your lips, into your bedroom. The room where so many intimate moments to like this one has happened. So many late night talks, binge watching shows, holding each other close moments. You pulled back and Hyunjin took his shirt off revealing his toned milky white chest to you. Your hands without thinking glide over his smooth skin and trace each line on his toned abs and over his chest. Carved by the gods, he was the definition of perfection. He leaned forward into you, kissing you again with the same passion and fire he has always had. Desperate for your taste. His hands roam under your shirt, sending chills down your spine as you leaned you head back, pulling away from the kiss, moaning as he began to pepper kissed up and down your neck. His hand grasped your clothes breasts and you wrapped your hand in his hair again. He was so close to you, and you could feel his throbbing member against your inner thigh.

Hyunjin then pulled your shirt over your head and then turned you around to unclasp your bra. Sensually he slid the straps of your bra off your shoulders, bending down to kiss the top of your bare shoulders pressing his warm chest against your soft back. As you bts fell to the ground, freeing your breast, Hyunjin’s hand gilded up your naked upper half, clasping over your breasts, fingertips playing with your harden nipples. You moaned and leaned your head back against him as he chuckled darkly into your ear. Lips still leaving trails anywhere he wanted.

“Keep moaning for me babygirl.”

One of Hyunjin’s hands then slipped down your naval above the button of your pants and in one swift motion, he unbuttoned your jeans and pulled the zipper down. His hand disappeared in your pants, fingers tracing over your clothed heat, he groaned as the feeling of your underwear being soaked.

“So wet for me, Y/N.” He lightly nipped your ear as his fingers rubbed against your clit making you groaned in pleasure, your hands raising up and behind to bring Hyunjin closer, your hips bucking against his hand to chase any more friction.

You felt his long fingers push your underwear to the side and insert themselves in your tight hole. You gasped at the feeling of him filling you up with just his slender fingers and he gasped too.

“Fuck Hyunjin.” You moaned as he began to slowly pump into you.

“You like that baby? You like being filled up with just my fingers huh?”

His pace began to increase and he was pumping in and out at a delicious speed. Your body convulsed against him, legs beginning to quiver. Hyunjin moaned against your ear and you felt his hips grind against your rear. You were taken over by the pleasure and you wanted him so badly. To fuck you like a doll, to dominate you in every way. You were aching for him as you whimpered everytime he palmed against your clit.

“Get on the bed.” His fingers slipped out of you and you whined at the loss. You turned and slipped your pants and underwear off as you climbed back on the bed as he held the fingers that were in you and Stuck them into his mouth, sucking the taste of you right off.

“I taste good daddy?” You bit your lip, eyes hooded with lust and he groaned as he leaned forward and took a hold of your legs pulling you to him.

“Delectable.” He leaned down until he was face to face with your wet cunt and he groaned, “ I want all of you.”

You felt your body arch off the bed as Hyunjin wasted no time devouring you with his sinful tongue. He attacked your clit and licked you like you were the most delicious piece of candy and he wanted to savour every drip. You were moaning like mad. The feeling of him against you like this was immaculate. There were no words. You didn’t even think about anything, not even the words that left your mouth. You would look down and see him looking up at you and would almost cum just from the sight of him eating you out. Your hips would rock against his face and you’d feel the vibrations if his low chuckle against your lips.

“Fuck Hyunjin just like that. Please.”

Hyunjin inserted his fingers into you again as he curved his fingers against your sweet spot. You cried out as he abused your clit with his tongue and fucked tou with his fingers so well.

“Hyunjin… Im gonna FUCK.” You were convulsing against him. Hands trying to find something to grasp on to.

“You wanna cum for me love?” He devilishly smirked at you, tongue still lapping over your sensitive nub.

“Oh my fucking god daddy, I wanna cum.” You cried out as you watched him smile against you.

You felt your walls clench around his long fingers and your body arched off the mattresses as Hyunjin took no time to stop. He kept lapping you intensely, driving you so far that you were gasping for air.

“Shit shit shit!” You cried out as he drank all your juices as you were coming down from you high. He pulled his fingers out of you and leaned over to put them in your mouth. You sucked your juices off his fingers as he bent down to kiss you so sloppily and sexy. You were never going to get enough of this man.

He fumbled with his pants, while kissing you. Once you heard his pants fall down, you sat up and pulled Hyunjin on the bed as he fell with a thump.

“Hey!” He laughed and you smiled as you crawled down to his hardened dick.

“My turn..” you wrapped your hand around the base of his shaft as your tongue extended and licked him from the bottom to the top of his head. Your lips wrapped around his head as you slowly bobbed your head down, using your tongue to apply more wetness to him.

Hyunjin groaned and leaned his head back, eyes fluttering close as you into he’d to move slowly up and down his shaft. You had one hand moving on his dick, going against your movements of your lips. Hyunjins hand went above your head as he sat up.

“God baby your mouth feels fucking insane.” He helped you bob your head gently on his dick as you looked up at him as he watched you suck. You were growing wetter by the second and your core was aching. You moaned against his member and he hissed as your hand massaged one of his balls as you sucked. Suddenly Hyunjin pulled you off his cock and pulled you so that you were on all fours in the bed with him behind you.

You gasped as he leaned over your back, pulling your hair so that your head was flung back closer to him. His lips caressed your ear again and his hot breath tickled.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good Y/N. I’m gonna fuck you dumb.” He growled as he pushed your back down so your ass was facing up and your head was smashed to the mattress. You felt Hyunjin line his dick to your hole as he pushed himself in you and you yelled at the way his size filled you up. He rubbed every pleasurable part in you and you were moaning immediately to how deep he was in you. He began to slowly move in and out of you, it was so painful. You wanted him so badly and he was pumping into you so sensually. You tried to buck your hips against him, earning a slap on your ass for trying to do anything.

“Someone is needy..” he chucked as you groaned. You wanted to be rough, you wanted him to show you how good he could fuck you.

“I thought you were gonna fuck me dumb..” after the words left your lips, you almost wished you hadn’t said anything. Cause Hyunjin grabbed a hold of your hair and wrapped his hand around your neck pulling you back and snapped his hips hard into the tip hitting your sweet spot each time he snapped back into you. You tried to scream and moan but Hyunjins hand was gripped around your neck, making your sounds high pitched and weak.

“Wanna say something else princess? Is this want you wanted? You wanted me to fuck you like this?” Hyunjins speed was out of control. Your mind was clouded with the pleasure of him fucking you. He threw you down to the mattress and leaned over as you were a moaning mess.

“Tell me who’s making you feel this good Y/N.”

“You are Hyunjin.”

“I’m the only one who can have you like this. I’m the only one who can see you like this.”

Your mind was all of the place as he fucked into you, his motions getting sloppier as he was chasing his high. He reached his hand to rub your sensitive clit and you yelled again. He was moaning against you and you were convulsing as he helped you chase your second orgasm of the night.

“I fucking love you Y/N.” Hyunjin whimpered as you felt your knees buckle under him. “I fucking love you.”

“I love you too..” you tried to breathe out as you felt another wave of pleasure wash over your body, and you pussy clench around Hyunjin. He let his body weight come over you as he shot his seed deeping you as he kept pumping into you. Your hot sweaty bodies were breathing against each other and you felt him kiss your back as you laid there.

He tried to get up and you stopped him.

“Can we just stay here like this for a moment.” You asked and he nodded as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to the side into his chest. He was still inside you and you thought about a lot of things.

“I believe you.”

You looked over behind you to him as he smiled with his eyes closed. You turned back and you closed your eyes too.

“Believe me about what.”

“That it’s real.”

You paused in your mind, eyes opened again as he snuggled closer to you.

“Whatever your truth is… even if it’s not what’s meant to be…”

You felt your heart beginning to break again.

“At least I know that what we have is real.” Hyunjin interlocked his hands with yours and squeezed it tightly.

“I promise Y/N, that i will fight to have you like this every day.”

Hyunjin don’t.

“I will do anything—“ he began to drift off into the night sleep, “to keep you here with me.”

You laid there, shattered.

Because you knew that in an ideal world, that wish would be fulfilled. In an ideal world, you were just you and Hyunjin was just Hyunjin. There was no feud or hat between families, there was no grandfather or Yeji. Jeongin was safe and Minho and you got along. Hyunjin could have the family he dreamt of and you two would raise your children happily. That was ideal.

But you two don't live in an ideal world. You knew that. Hyunjin’s optimism scared you. If tomorrow came and he found out everything that Yeji knows, how could both families accept that? How could Hyunjin accept that your sole purpose was to marry him and kill him. Gain his trust and use it against him. You knew better than to live in hope and optimism. That’s not the luxury you were given.

So maybe it was cruel to come back home that night and see him. Maybe it was cruel to tell him that you’d be truthful in the morning and tell him that you loved him. It was cruel to make love one more time and let him fall asleep dreaming of a world where you two could be together.

Maybe it was cruel to leave him alone in the morning with your wedding ring sitting on the bedside table.

Because when Hyunjin woke up the next morning to find an empty bed and your wedding ring, he felt a type of pain he never imagined he would. One that caused a different suffering, where you feel so dead and your force to live.

Heartbreak.

a/n: it’s here! thank you guys for waiting and being patient. I’m trying really hard to get these out when I say I will! as always send me your thoughts and theories! I love reading them! WE ARE ALMOST TO CHAPTER 10 WHAT? you guys are amazing! until next time!KMY

Taglist: @hyunfeji @zenzedana @datura-inoxia@minaamhh @ninjaleeknow @beethiin @hyunsxle @hwangful

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nananaptime · 4 years ago

Text

Moon Struck

You are all beautiful, inside and out, remember that and never let anyone unworthy of your attention and affections bring you down with unnessecary comments <3

Moon struck: Unable to think or act normally, especially because of being in love

Masterlist Rules

Genre: Fluff all the way through

Word count: 1 980

Summary: When ones feelings are so intense, letting them out through creativity may be one of the most effctive ways of not getting submerged...

Dejun cast one last glance at you before shuffling his books, pencils and papers into his bag as the lecturer dismissed the students for the day. Not that Dejun had paid any attention to the content of the day’s lecture as it was the only class he had with you and not spending it basking in your presence was not an option. He had developed a talent for ignoring the lecturer’s pointy look. As he left the room, he tried pushing the image of you out of his head so he could focus on where he was putting his feet. It didn’t work and he managed to stumble as he glanced over his shoulder to where you were laughing with your friends, captivated by the smile displayed.

Shaking his head, he reminded himself that he was to meet Kun in the library so they both could help Yukhei pass his economics exam. Why he decidedly chose that as his personal elective was something Dejun had asked himself since he started college. Yukhei was normally more into classes that matched his interests but never had he ever spoken a word regarding economics until he had applied for it.

With his feet taking him in the direction of the campus library, his questions regarding Yukhei’s sanity soon turned into admiring images of your form, basked in sunlight as your nose was buried in a book. He hoped he wouldn’t run into you at the library, considering it’s one of your favourite places to spend your time, because helping his friend would be a lost cause with you distracting him at every corner. Not only did you occupy his mind every second of the day, but also his notebook in which he spent his time writing song lyrics. During the time it took for him to apply to literary history, meeting you and managing to fall for you every day anew afterwards, his notebook had increasingly turned into a lyric collection about you. He patted his bag, thankful for having somewhere to put it other than in complete visibility.

The campus library was a building which interior was in Victorian style, with big stairs and an open area in the middle of the whole thing, enabling a view from the first floor all the way up to the seventh. It was bigger vertically rather than horizontally and was, without a doubt, one of the most impressive buildings on campus. Dejun headed for the stairs on the right, glancing over the titles in the bookshelves lining the wall while avoiding the seating areas as to not bump into them. With a polite nod and a smile to the librarian behind the counter, which was located between the two stairs, he ascended to the second floor where he knew Kun and Yukhei would be waiting for him.

The sight of them had him snickering. In a hushed, library voice, Kun was leaning over the table pointing at a page in a book, his patience wearing thin, while Yukhei sat across from him, a confused expression glued to his face. Kun heaved a sigh as Dejun approached, who was unable to contain his laughter, before he slumped down onto his chair, fatigued by the attempt of pushing economical knowledge into Yukhei’s brain.

“Hey! Thank goodness you’re here, maybe you can put this into words that Yukhei actually understands.” Yukhei only laughed at the pointed remark while Dejun sat down beside him, bringing the economics textbook towards him.

Economics was, admittedly, not Dejun’s strongest suit, he was made of more creative components rather than mathematical and logical. Nonetheless, if he could help he would. After a while though, the numbers and strange terms started merging together and soon enough he had to lean back and close his eyes as he felt the days energy drain out of him. He felt Yukhei’s eyes on him throughout the whole ordeal.

“See! Not even Dejun understands this rubbish, how do you expect I should!?” With that, Yukhei closed the book and pushed it down the table. Kun gave him a fiery glare, daring him to continue down his chosen path of communication.

Their bickering fell on deaf ears as Dejun’s head once again filled with images of you, his concentration ability was severely lacking ever since he entered the literary history lecture for the first time. He was truly looking forward to that class and was determined to pay attention, that is until you entered his field of vision and successfully executed your permanent residence in the middle of his frontal lobe. All the interest he had for literary knowledge was thrown out the window and replaced by imaginings of your life, your current activities and active emotions. It was driving him insane.

As he felt his heart rate speed up as the images of your stunning features visualised themselves in his brain, he felt inclined to ease the strain on his heart and transfer the affections he had for you to paper. Hence, with the squabbling of his two friends fading further into the background, he opened his bag and reached in for his notebook, wondering whether or not he even had spare pages to write on or if he had filled it to the brim already.

As he felt around for the familiar spiral binding of his heart’s sanctuary, the panic in his chest increased with every passing second. In a frenzy, he ripped his bag open and shuffled everything around with such vigour he feared something would rip apart, well, except for his state of mind which was already shredded to pieces. Kun and Yukhei flinched away from the table, their discussion long forgotten, as Dejun spilt the contents of his bag onto the table, frantically searching for the distinct yellow colour of his notebook.

“Ok, uhm, Dejun… What is going on?” Kun reached for his friend’s arm but failed in his pursuit as Dejun lifted his hands and pulled his hair while his breathing became more laboured as the realisation that his notebook wasn’t in the bag hit him straight in the gut.

“It’s not here….” Kun gave him a confused look, silently enquiring for the absent object. As Dejun met his eyes, the reality of the situation kickstarted his functional movement. “It’s not here!” The realisation dawned on his two friends as he started throwing his belongings back into his bag. He barely registered when Kun took the bag from him and Yukhei replaced his hands in shuffling the contents together.

“Dude, go!” Yukhei gave him an insisting look. “Go check the lecture hall, check everywhere, that is not the way one should reveal their crush on someone.” He pushed him towards the stairs and without another look back Dejun dashed down the staircase.

The lecture hall seemed to contain every other stationery except for his notebook. He checked under the seats, in the trashcan, inside and under the lecturer’s desk, even out the window just in case some disrespectful student had found it funny to see if it managed to stay airborne.

The panic seemed a permanent state for him at the moment, and it only increased as he ran out of the lecture hall and straight into you. Both your bodies ended up sprawled on the floor, the only difference being you were surrounded by your belongings while he seemed the only resident of his occupied area of the floor. Once Dejun realised the state of your being he scrambled to his feet and offered you his hand, helping you up from the floor, which most likely was dustier than he wanted to admit. Your eyes met for a split second before he leaned down and started gathering your supplies. The fact that you soon joined him in the task caused his heart to pick up its pace once again, a phenomenon which now appeared normal in your presence.

Dejun found himself blinded by your smile once you stood from the floor and it seemed near impossible to look away from your eyes. As he handed you your pile of books and papers he had collected, his eyes caught onto something similar to the yellow shade of the sun, a shade which he gazes upon every evening before turning out his lights.

All he could do was point and stutter as you accepted your belongings. A small giggle left your lips, Dejun thought his heart might soar away, and you fished his notebook out from between the middle of your possessions and gave it to him. He accepted with trembling hands, hoping against all odds that you hadn’t read anything.

“You dropped it on your way from the lecture before, I see you with it all the time and thought it might be important.” He tried finding his voice but seemed unable to do so, hence he only stared at you, cautious worry evident in his eyes. “It was open on the floor when I found it and so I hope you didn’t mind that I caught some glimpses of the content.” He lost his breath as he realised what he had written had now been transferred to your consciousness. You smiled as the guilt shone through your exterior and Dejun found himself falling for you even more as he realised your concern for the potential invasion of his privacy. “They’re really good, you know. You have a certain way with words which, in my opinion, you shouldn’t keep locked away in the privacy of your notebook. At the very least, you should show it to the one it’s about. Anyone would be lucky to be on the receiving end of that kind of affection.”

Dejun realised then and there that you had no idea that the lyrics were about you, all of them. It was beyond him, how someone could be so unaware of their own importance, of their own effect on people, of their own beauty. As you gave a small wave and started your journey back to your dorm, he stopped functioning altogether. Without thinking or realising he had moved, he placed his hand on your shoulder, affectively informing you of his need to say something. Yet, when he gazed upon your features, he found himself tongue-tied once again. You giggled at his current state which seemed to pull him out of his trance and, with much difficulty, he managed to find his voice.

“They’re about you.” You smiled at the shy nature of his being and grabbed his hand, squeezing it as to give him some strength to continue. “All of them, every single one. My concentration level in literary history is non-existent because of your presence. All that is important to me during those hours are to memorise your features so I don’t forget them until I see you next.” He felt some kind of pride as he noticed the blush spreading up your neck and he hoped that maybe, just maybe, you reciprocated these intense emotions which were consuming his everyday life.

As his words faded out, you brought your hand to his cheek before pressing a small kiss to the one which you weren’t touching. The nerves in Dejun’s body seemed to fry away at the connection between his skin and your lips. A smile of adoration was plastered on your face as you once again grabbed his hand in yours.

“And here I thought your stares was caused by annoyance at my loud energy, it’s nice to know my feelings are reciprocated rather than rejected.” The sheer happiness which flowed threw Dejun’s body at your words forced him to look down to the floor as the emotions overtook him.

And if there was something he knew right at that moment, walking down the halls, hand in hand with the love of his life, if he jumped from the roof of the building, he would soar.

#nct #nct scenarios #kpop #kpop scenarios #scenarios #xiaojun #dejun #xiao dejun #nct xiaojun #nct u #wayv #nctzen #music #nananaptime

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