#idk I feel so strange rn

[rolling-wavves]

My therapist I've been seeing for over 2 years diagnosed me with complex ptsd and I feel so weird about it because I'm like me ?? Trauma?? Don't know her !!!! Never happened!!

She's said she's thought this for a while and after I saw a psych who diagnosed me it just settled it for her like "ok finally". She's also already been telling me I've been through trauma even if I don't believe it.

Still!! Really having a hard time accepting this like...what. what. My life has been Totally Fine don't know what she's talking about!!!

Anyway I feel so weird and I'm rambling but idk what else to do with these feelings tbh

[barghest-land]

таится чудо в любом пустяке я раньше не видел такого тумана здесь даже деревья растут как-то странно и птицы поют на чужом языке

[hood-ex]

Welp... the discord group may not happen actually. Something absolutely batshit crazy went on in one of my discord communities during Jan/Feb, and it affected me and everyone in the group on an extremely personal level, so I have a bit of an aversion to being on discord because of it rn. So... maybe one day, but not now.

[httpiastri]

[skunkes]

Fellow sufferers does feeling insane guilt when u buy little trinkets or treats ever go away

[poughkeepsies]

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[waywardsalt]

its weird how botw/totk and. pretty much all of the other loz games seems to have entirely separate fandoms at times

[soldier-poet-king]

Siken has that line in crush about the gentleness that comes not from the absence of violence but despite the abundance of it and I'm stuck thinking about a similar gentleness that comes with grief

[sparkystarlight]

Merry Christmas

Listen I am merely at the whims of my TikTok followers. I will make human soapghost tomorrow

[bbreaddog]

.

[vvenuspng]

i have an inkling.. i might start to feel ok enough to post soon.. at some point.. eventually...!! <3 so!! maybe art?!! who knows……..

[dockaspbrak]

In another life itd be cool if i had a night time only roommate who like came out of a wall and was a human version of an owl (not vibes but horrible lab accident) and we chatted and socialized when i have insomnia and cant sleep so its like. A positive opportunity instead of a failure that will be pointed out 150 times tomorrow

[cryptids-lobelia-garden]

Hey hey! I’m exhausted TwT BUT this exists, and I had 7 planned and pre-written already, just need to do edits and warnings, SO yay!!! But I also dropped off the face of the earth bc of Fatigue, so that’s great. Whoops. BUT hey I’m trying my best, and I might come in a little late but I do want to finish this and I’m gonna try even if it ends up late ^^ Why win a race when you’re enjoying the flowers on the side of the track?

Anyway. We’re focusing on Cheri for a change! This is probably a few years before Cheri meets Volo again, and a few months after getting back home from Hisui. He’s like 17-18 here, and as his body is maturing, so are his abilities. Which is VERY not fun when one of them is the ability to feel exactly what others are feeling and he doesn’t know how to turn it off. Poor guy :(

Warnings: lashing out at loved ones, emotional hurt/no comfort (despite people being there who very much want to provide comfort), caretaker makes it worse?? Sort of??? Also whumpee being scared to leave their room, not sure if that needs a warning but. Yeah I’m gonna warn on that anyway

6: Dizziness

Ana’s at the door again. “Cheri? You okay in there?”

Concern filters through the air, filling his head, and he lets out a low groan, burying his face under the blanket. “Leave me alone.”

“Please, just tell us what’s wrong.”

Another two sets of feelings joins the mix.

Worry, concern, fear, merging together, and he curls up tighter.

“We want to help,” Keyo murmurs, Sprigs meowing through the door in agreement. “Please let us help.”

So much worry is flooding him and he doesn’t know how to stop it.

The ability is both old and new. Ever since evolving, he had gotten better at reading people, better at understanding their intentions. He’d thought it was intuition at first.

But now he knows.

It was an ability, one that hadn’t yet fully matured.

He still hasn’t fully mastered it yet. Other people’s feelings crash through his body, and he wants to scream.

“You want to help? I’ll tell you what’ll help- go away!! And take Sprigs with you!”

He doesn’t want to be so harsh.

But he’s scared.

Being overwhelmed with his own emotions can mess with his head, knock him off balance, to the point where his other abilities will lash out even if he doesn’t want them to. He’s not sure if it’ll happen with other people’s feelings too.

He’s scared.

Pain, emotional pain as he dismisses the others so harshly, and he chokes back a sob.

He feels so much. He feels so much. It’s dizzying, feeling so many sets of feelings aside from his own.

“..I’m leaving food at the door,” Ana says. “Please come out and tell us what’s wrong when you can.”

And after a few moments, they leave, the intensity of the feelings leaving with them.

But he’s still crying.

Please come back. I just want things to be normal.

They can’t be normal. I can’t turn it off.

I’m so alone, so alone, it’s my own fault, I don’t want to be alone-

I can’t subject them to this. I don’t want to hurt them, I’m so terrified of hurting them.

He curls up tighter, squeezing the pillow to his chest.

I just want to be normal again. I never asked for this.

[blueish-bird]

sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive

[natsmagi]

It's incredibly tough because we no longer have social media that's suitable for fandom interactions the way livejournal was. Individual journals + interest communities which could be easily locked/unlocked as you wanted. People had to search out what they wanted etc. Twitter and tumblr just can't do it (and let's not even mention tiktok)

ITS KIND OF SAD......... i was never really on livejournal when i was younger bc i was like 10 and did not know what the internet was capable of offering but even just being on deviantart in the early 2010s gave me a strong sense of community and support...... just a bunch of hobbyists doing their own little things and joining those groups deviantart had was alot of fun for lil kid me!

the best substitute we've got for livejournal these days is like. discord. but thats so annoying especially when theyre specifically locking content behind a discord invite since many of us may not even know if we vibe there!! and its intimidating to be thrown into a group chat with people who already have established bonds ONTOP of not even knowing if youll get along😭

while i think tumblr is relatively good for fandom posting and such i definitely wouldnt call it the best place to make friends with similar interests...... since its hard to really like. have actual conversations with people on here since the ask feature is pretty one-sided, tags arent meant to be responded to a majority of the time, the comments feature barely gets used and the dms system is wonky as hell. and twitter is just a cesspool of reactionary people who dont think before they tweet and are just waiting to make their next callout post, but god is it a good place to hold a conversation and bond with people................ you just cant win these days huh

[averlym]

Wait so I’m kind of confused, are you still doing asks? Or just commissions since you’ve officially closed ur requests. Are you just gonna occasionally do asks with requests no longer being sent?

hi hi!! okay so:

1. commissions are open right now

2. requests are 'closed' - i can't stop you from sending them, but it's pretty unlikely that i'll draw them any time soon

3. i have quite a lot of old requests filling my ask box, so i'll do those asks occasionally

hope that clarifies a bit!