#idk how much longer anyone else in the system is gonna be able to keep holding me back when this has happened to us REPEATEDLY too damn muc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ddarker-dreams · 3 years

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FINALLY SOMEONE SAID THE TRUTH.

I admit that i enjoyed act 3 but it feels like really rushed i have so much complain with that.

The build up until act 2 was so good it give us so much premise but the final blow si meh. Sorry that i want to share thing long rant with you

1. Why the final talk is with yae, no offense to her but we need ei to explain not to mention she witness khaenriah downfall so she can give us more information, i feel like they do it for the plot armor so they can just keep dragging this

2. So many things that quite inconsistant, the shogun is show no mercy to anyone that even did a little thing outside what she think its right, how come she can still have a talk with signora, when sara is falling like that, and also there is no clarification about sara right now.

The traveler was so done at first they refuse to help thoma and ayaka at the beginning. But they seem so happy and forget everything how come they are not RAGE ( okay maybe this is to bias and personal) when this nation provide nothing about our siblings information and also why they are not mention anything about their problem in ei stroy quest. Its nonsense! She is right in front of youu, ask about your siblings, ask about khaenriah, ask about ukmown god!!. How come they can just forget like that. Also mihoyo really waste the potential about twin things i thing ei will give us so much help bcs of the sympathy that we both rn lost our twin but noooo.

3. Kokomi seem lost some brain cell, she make a very succesfull grand intro but she become meh in act 3, how come a great strategist like her let the sus sponsorship slip just bcs they are desperate, not to mention her screen time is really small and her role seem so unsignificant and it feels lile she is a plain npc.

4. The awesome world quest that we have done doesnt get any mention at all! Inazuma owe us so much with cleansing sakura, thunder sakura, tatarigami, obarashi quest. It has so much potential that yae or ei or anyone else aknowledge what traveler has been done but nooo.

cracks knuckles... i suppose it's time for my promised dissertation. interestingly enough, you touched on a lot of the main issues i had with chapter III.

i think that if i had to pin the main issue, it's a lack of overall cohesiveness? we were jumping all over the place without the chance to ever flesh things out. inazuma is a smaller cast, but i feel like we didn't get to see any of them shine. since i'm most interested in the genshin characters, i'll break down my problems by going over everyone and their (lack) of impact on the story.

was ayaka not questioned or placed under suspicion for being close to thoma before his escape? i wanted to see her broken up over her duties as they relate to the yashiro commission, paired with having someone she genuinely cares about in danger. it would've been an interesting struggle if she was forced to choose one or the other. instead she just kinda took a back seat.

speaking of thoma, i don't even have anything to say, because he just... was there? for .0001 seconds. said "lol this sucks ig" and that's about it. i know we're going to get a story for him in the future since he's a 5* but i'm not getting my hopes up 😭 then in the raiden shogun's character story, man is peachy keen! be upset with the raiden shogun! have some inner conflict! even if it's just using loaded language because he's under surveillance for going against the raiden shogun, that'd be so cool. saying something like,

"Traveler, what's with that expression? Oh please, there's nothing to worry about. We're under the Statue of the Omnipresent God's protection. Nothing bad has ever happened here." *wink*

i also don't know what to say about gorou. he was... there....... i think. what is he fighting for? what are the stakes for him? what makes him place so much trust into kokomi? i'm out of things to say about him because i don't remember anything he did or said.

kokomi... oh kokomi... i was so hyped. so excited. i thought that maybe we could see a foil to the raiden shogun. that she'd have a moment where she's forced to realize, just like her opponent, sacrifices must be made that will hurt people who will never understand why she made them. or maybe something to show her military prowess. but instead she just accepts a mysterious patron's help (?), sees her people aging like the grateful dead from JJBA, and goes oh well. that sucks. what can ya do. oh bye traveler i guess, good luck with that. ????????????? HUH... similar case to thoma where she's gonna get a character story but like. she won't be the leader of the resistance anymore. that was her whole shtick. they took her shtick away. also she forced me to interact with more NPCs whose names i've already forgotten so i'm tilted about that still.

KUJOU SARA... AN INJUSTICE. A DISGRACE. a slap to my woman loving face. the build up was there. yae miko's comments about sara probably knowing the tenryou commission is involved in shady dealings, but is choosing not to think about it. sara being forced to confront reality and challenge her adopted father with the truth. being able to blaze a new path for herself in the process. when she started running to the raiden shogun i was ultra hyped up. sara, a devotee to the shogun for so long, was about to see her god interacting with the same people who led inazuma to this awful state. how would she react? would she stay ignorant, like yae miko so coyly said, choosing to look away in favor of following her god's footsteps? or would she be forced to recognize the raiden shogun isn't as divine as she once thought, and challenge her belief system?

we open the door to see the raiden shogun. the loading screen ensues. the camera pans to the ominous room, clouded in darkness, hinting at the ominous confrontation that is to come. the music takes a serious timbre. and then...

well fuck that potential character arc i guess. (we still don't know what sara made of any of this since she poofed out of existence from the story at this point)

kazuha also was handed a similar treatment. we've been with him for a while longer now. he is our introduction into inazuma, the one who first gets us emotionally involved by regaling us with the bittersweet tale of friendship that led him to becoming a wanted criminal. a kind soul who loves nature yet was dealt a cruel hand by fate, forced to watch his home nation turn into a hostile place, where his dear friend ultimately perished as a result. we get the scene with his friend's vision lighting back up. he parries a block from the raiden shogun, in the same area where his friend was killed by her. the parallels. the drama. except this time, he wasn't too late. he protected the traveler where he "failed" to protect his friend in the past. did he feel redemption at this? or was it a bittersweet reminder of what could've been?

WELL i guess we'll never know because we didn't get to talk to him again 😭 idk who got a bait and switch worse, him or sara. jesus christ mihoyo.

then we have signora. why is the raiden shogun talking to her? does she know about the gnosis being taken, and if she doesn't, what was her plan to get it from the archon? what does she think about scaramouche? and oh, okay, we're fighting here now. good fight + god tier music. pog pog. okay, now we've beaten her up, and raiden shogun wyd— wait no not signora her lore is still on CUPS not YET raiden shogun and— ah she's dead. okay. non nerds who didn't read artifact lore are going to know nothing about her. signora has such an interesting story, and yet... well. ok.

then we get raiden shogun redemption (?) arc. i was hype for this as well, though at that point, idk why i bothered being hype. i knew they were gonna do a cute power of friendship something or another, and i'm good with that, so long as it's executed well. what i was envisioning was like seven different buffs to correspond with the seven different visions, the dreams of those whose ambitions were stolen serving as the spear to penetrate the raiden shogun's heart of stone. maybe a hydro vision giving us extra healing for a time, with the voice acting over it being like,

"Even if the rest of the world forgets us, let our will carry you through this one final time. Succeed where we couldn't, Traveler."

so on and so forth.

but instead we got— you get the idea at this point. why bother spelling it out anymore.

at that point i was surprised the raiden shogun didn't go "oopsie woopsie!! we made a fucky wucky!!!" because that was the vibe i was getting. i love ei, don't get me wrong, but i wanted to see her challenged with what she had done to inazuma in the past year. maybe meeting NPC #2345259 who lost her sister to the vision decree or something, reminding ei of the love she held for her sister... being forced to come to terms with the extent of what she's done in pursuit of eternity.

anyway. please for the love of god mihoyo hire better writers for the main story. that is all i ask. thank you.

#genshin impact spoilers #answered #Anonymous

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chiliiscereal · 3 years

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maybe dad daryl where oc is really young and when they are on the road gets sick or maybe the prison sickness and is really clingy to daryl?? idk i’m trying to think of more ideas of the dad daryl trope for you to get inspiration from!🥰

This is my first official request so here we go!!

Thanks so much for requesting! I’ll be sure to do my best!

—————

A broken world is no place for a ten year old. Especially when the people of that world are more dangerous than the monsters that roam the forests.

One might say it was a miracle you were found by the group you had now. Daryl had snatched you from the road before your freshly turned parents could bite you. You thought they were just sick, but then the car they’d been driving crashed when your mother sunk her teeth into your fathers arm. She had only been taking a nap to recover from her fever and then she woke up.

——-

“Dad, please!” You backed away backwards from the wreckage on your hands and knees.

Your father continued crawling toward you with outstretched hands and gnashing teeth. Both of you were covered in gashes and blood.

You tried batting him away but he wouldn’t listen to you. What was wrong with him?

“Hey, girl!” A voice shouted from behind you. Arms grabbed you around your middle and pulled you away.

“Let me go” you screamed. “My dad needs my help!” You looked up at the man holding you with tears in your eyes, trying to get him to release you.

“Ya can’t help yer dad. He’s dead.” The man stated.

“But he’s moving!” You pointed around your fathers body, still crawling for the the two of you.

The man pulled out his crossbow and held you close with one arm, shooting your dad through the forehead. “He’s dead.” He informed you.

You couldn’t speak.

Couldn’t talk.

Couldn’t breathe.

“C’mon.” He grabbed your arm and guided you to his truck. “Got a group. It’s safe an’ there’s other kids.”

You say in his truck, still shaking. “Promise?”

He climbed into the drivers seat and turned it on. “Yeah, whatever, I promise.”

You held out your pinkie. “Pinkie promise?”

He narrowed his eyes, eventually rolling them. “Sure, fine, i pinkie promise.” He got it over with quickly. He almost felt childish doing it.

But it was just what you needed to convince yourself it was safe.

——-

It took a while to get used to your new people. They were friendly... for the most part. The man who scooped you up from the road wasn’t the nicest but he was better than his brother. Neither one of them seemed to keen on getting to know you better. The youngest one had simply placed you in his truck and shoved you off to the rest of the adults.

You didn’t mind though. There were other kids, there was food, and there was safety. That was enough for you. You settled into a tent with Lori and her son after a while. You were there when Carl found his dad again, and you were there when Daryl found he no longer had his brother.

Despite all the loss everyone still found a way to have some form of normality.

But then the Atlanta Camp was over run.

That day you thought would be your last. A walker had managed to trip you up and you landed in the forest floor, backing away. It’s pale bony fingers were on your ankles when an arrow had pierced its forehead before it could bite you.

That was the day you decided you could trust Daryl. No one else understood it, but they didn’t need to.

He’d saved your life twice. He had kept you close that night, downing any walker that came your way.

He tried giving you back to Lori but you didn’t trust Lori to keep you safe. Shane has tried to convince you to leave Daryl’s side but you refused.

So everyone rolled with it. It wasn’t harming anybody after all. You were safe and that’s all that mattered.

———-

“I ain’t gonna keep ya safe.” He rolled his eyes as he drove his truck for the CDC. He gave you a glance out of the corner of his eye. “Sure ya don’t wanna sit in the car with Lori or somethin’?”

You shook your head, kicking your legs happily. “I’m fine right here.” You watched the trees pass by with content.

Daryl gripped the steering wheel a bit harder. “I ain’t gonna entertain ya or some shit. I ain’t a babysitter and ya aren’t my responsibility.”

“I know.” You nodded. “It’s fine though. You’re still trustworthy to me.”

The hunter just grunted in response, to not exactly agreeing but not disagreeing either.

———

Daryl was dead set on proving that he wasn’t trustworthy at all. He tried ignoring you, he tried walking away while you talked to him at the farm, and he tried telling you to leave him alone.

But you followed him around anyway. You could be pretty fast when you wanted to be. You just walked after him and continued telling him about what you did that day.

Daryl finally had enough when you tried to hold his hand while walking after him.

——

You placed your hand in his casually. You hadn’t thought much of it because you did it often with your dad. Your dad protected you like Daryl did. He treated you like Daryl did. He made sure you were fed like Daryl did. Why would it be a bad thing?

Daryl tensed and shoved your hand away immediately. “Don’t do that shit.” He ordered.

“Why not?” You questioned as you took his hand again.

“I ain’t yer dad, alright?!” He snapped, ripping his hand away. “Damn it, just stop followin’ me!” He stormed off before you could even react.

—-

You hadn’t meant to crowd him. You just wanted him to know you appreciated him. So you respected his rather loud opinion and stayed away.

Even when the farm fell, you were away from him.

You made your way to the highway by yourself. You’d walked all night and managed to catch them before they left.

Daryl felt guilty but his pride was too strong for him to do anything about it. Dixon’s don’t apologize and they sure as hell don’t have to feel bad for anything they do.

Your group had wandered for what felt like eons.

Daryl, as some form of apology, took to teaching you how to survive. You went along with it but you’d lost some form of... excitement.

You weren’t allowed to need Daryl. You had to be able to survive without needing anyone. So you learned as much as you could. But there was no more bubbly chatter. No more trying to hold his hand for comfort.

The man didn’t know why but he missed it.

The days grew colder and with most cold weather, comes sickness. Of course it chose the smallest and weakest person in the group:

You.

You’d never really had a good immune system. If there was some cold going around then you were sure to catch it.

And catch it you did.

It started off small: a little cough here, a sneeze there...

Then it started to build up.

Soon your legs were aching.

Your lungs felt like they were trying to breathe in heavy smoke.

All you wanted to sleep but sleep was impossible! You kept rolling over and you absolutely could NOT get comfortable.

A headache wormed its way into your skull as well.

Your first thought was to tell Daryl. But you couldn’t. He’d tell you that you were slowing everyone down. That they couldn’t waste supplies on you. That you were too much responsibility.

This time you just had to get over this sickness on your own. Nobody ever needed to know.

You nearly caved when blood began to come out with the coughing. Seeing that crimson liquid stain the small cloth you’d been using nearly drove you to your knees.

——-

“You alright, kid?” Daryl asked as the group trudged forward through snow.

“Fine.” You muttered and stuffed the cloth in your pocket before he could see anything. “I’m just fine.”

You acted like you couldn’t see him narrowing his eyes at you. He must have seen by now how much slower you’d gotten. He must have seen that you no longer had an appetite. Right? He was choosing not to say anything so you’d get over it alone. He had to be.

“Ya look like shit kid.” He tried again.

You edged away from him a bit, wrapping your arms around yourself to preserve any heat. “Wow thanks.”

“Ya know that’s not what I meant.” He touched your small shoulder gently only for you to jerk away.

“Why the hell won’t you just leave me alone.” You growled and walked to catch up with the rest of your group.

———

You managed to keep up your charade for another week before someone seemed to catch on.

Glenn had noticed your excessive coughing and brought it up to everyone while they’d eaten in the newest house.

——-

“Are you feeling alright?” Glenn asked softly. “You’ve been coughing an awful lot.”

“I’m fine.” You told him.

“Sure you’re not getting sick?”

“I’m sure I’m not.”

You’d dismissed him quickly and moved on.

You thought you’d managed to keep it secret for another day. But your coughing became too much.

———

Everyone was walking outside the next day and you were trailing behind. Your throat was burning and you couldn’t stop yourself from coughing into the rag again. You thought you’d straighten up and keep walking.

But you didn’t.

The coughing didn’t stop.

You doubled over and blood kept coming.

“Hey, kid!” Daryl shouted, dropping his stuff and running over to you.

“I’m fine.” You tried to say. “I’m... im okay...”

You were on the ground, feeling like you were going to catch on fire.

“Let me see that rag.”

You tried to hid it again but you couldn’t stop Daryl from taking it.

“Damn it!”

You couldn’t even stand up. Black dots were taking over your vision.

The last thing you remembered was Daryl’s arms scooping you up.

————

“Why the hell didn’t she tell anyone!”

“Must not have felt comfortable.”

“But she needed help!”

“Well you did snap at her and tell her to leave you alone...”

“Shit, I know! I gotta go. Ya said we need medicine for fever and coughing?”

“Yes, and blankets if you find any.”

You blacked out again, only to wake up to a different voice.

“C’mon, ya gotta wake up.” A scratchy voice ordered softly as a hand shook you.

“Please no.” You begged and rolled over. Shivers over took your body. “I’ll be fine. I just need to sleep.”

You didn’t still didn’t want to bother him.

“Ya gotta eat, kid.” He asked, placing his hands in your back so you’d sit up. “Damn, yer cold as ice.”

You peeled open an eye and watched him reach behind him to grab a blanket, layering it over you.

“I don’t need it.” You protested. “I can get over this.”

“I ain’t gonna listen to that shit, got it?” He barked. “I know I shouldn’t ‘a pushed ya like that. I shouldn’t ‘a told ya ta leave me alone. But ya gotta keep yerself alive alright?”

Tears spilled down your face as you pulled the blanket closer. “I’m sorry! I didn’t... I didn’t want this to happen!” You broke into a coughing fit and covered your mouth with the rag. “I didn’t mean to slow us down or,” another cough, “or waste supplies!” You leaned into the man tiredly.

“It ain’t yer fault.” He hesitated in wrapping his arms around you. “M’sorry I let it go this far.” He rubbed your back comfortingly in circles. “Lets get ya warmed up, alright?”

You nodded, still feeling extremely weak. “Can I just sit here?” You asked guiltily. “I don’t want to move.”

“Fine. Just for a little bit.”

You wrapped your arms around him and curled up by his side, soaking in all the warmth.

————

“I gotta go find some medicine.” He told you as he got ready to leave the house everyone was camped out at. “Can’t ya handle bein’ here without me fer a little while?”

You sniffed and pulled the blanket closer. “Okay. I can do that.”

“Be back soon, alright?” He patted your shoulder and went out the door.

——

You slept as much as you could, waiting for him to return. Glenn has forced you to eat but everything felt like it burned your throat.

Everything hurt.

All you wanted was comfort.

For everything to feel better.

You waited for hours for Daryl to come back.

You just wanted the closest thing to a dad you had.

“She’s getting worse.” Lori commented softly. “We need that medicine or else I don’t know how much longer she’s gonna hang on.”

“She might not make it if Daryl doesn’t get back before nightfall.” Hershel said regretfully.

“He should have been back an hour ago! We’ll be lucky if he gets here before she passes out again.”

“No, we’re lucky no one else has caught this. We need this thing stamped out soon or it’s the end for all of us.”

You curled against Glenn’s side, shuddering slightly. “Is he back yet?”

He patted your back softly. “Sorry, kiddo, he’s not.”

You nodded to yourself, and waited a little bit. “If he back yet?”

“You asked that already. Sorry but he isn’t here.”

“Oh.”

—————

“We have to think about what’s best for her.” Rick told everyone in the other room. “If he ain’t back soon, we’ll have to prepare for the worst. Maybe let ‘er enjoy one last meal. Spend time with her.”

“He’s gotta be back soon.” Carol whispered. “He has to be.”

“It’s harder to find medicine now a days.” Hershel told her. “I’m sorry, but the chances of finding medicine is very unlikely.”

You could hear them discussing everything from the other room. You weren’t supposed to but you could.

“Let’s wait.” Lori begged. “Just for a little bit longer.”

“I don’t think-.”

The door opened. “I got the medicine. Where’s the kid?”

You pulled yourself up from the floor and walked into the room. “Daryl?” You called.

“Shit kid.” He dropped his crossbow and ran over. “Why the hell are ya up?”

You glanced tiredly at all the people in the group. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Damn it i thought I told you to stay put.” He began chewing you out but stopped when you sleepily wrapped your arms around him. “Fine. Whatever. Just... come on. Ya gotta take this medicine an’ get better.”

———-

It took you almost a full week to recover but you did.

Whatever it was, it must have done something to your lungs. You couldn’t run without feeling winded.

But you had Daryl at your side the whole time.

He made sure you were always one of the first ones ready to leave when a house was no longer safe.

Never again did he snap at you or leave you unattended.

You may have lost your father when the walkers took the earth, but you somehow managed to gain one anyway.

#for you #bookish #wattpad #fanfic #twd fanfiction #twd incorrect quotes #incorrect twd quotes #twd daryl #twd imagine #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon x reader #fanfiction requests

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lucky-draws · 3 years

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Hey!! Your art is awesome :) Where did you learn to draw? Did you go to school or are you self taught?

Hello!! Thank you so much!! :D

It's a bit of both really, I mean I studied art at gcse and A level (which I guess is basically the UK equivalent of us high school level?? Idk how to describe it since school systems are different in every country lol) but I've not studied it at university level or like a proper private art school kind of place or anything.

But also, and I this is gonna sound cliché or whatever, I guess I've been drawing since I was little so aside from school lessons I've had many years of practice of just kinda figuring stuff out for myself basically.

(LOL and I would also say that sometimes school art lessons weren't always that useful, especially for a couple of years when we had rly bad teachers lmao. We did some stuff that was beneficial like life drawing classes and such but in my experience so much of our time was spent writing a load of fake pretentious bullshit instead of actually being taught how to draw LMAO but that's just my feeling...I could write more abt the way art is taught but I won't xD)

Right now I'm not studying anywhere, so I'm working on getting better at drawing by myself. I only really post my fanart on this blog but sometimes I do other stuff like exercises and anatomy studies that I don't post, which are helpful,, maybe since I'm already waffling I'll mention a few things I find useful to do in case it's if interest to you or anyone else? Under the cut tho, since this is getting long LOL

Observational studies/drawing from life is something that's very useful I find; just in terms of generally training yourself to look at something and try to represent it accurately and learning more about what things, textures, shadows, etc actually look like. Lately I often take a sketchbook out with me and do things like sketches of people or buildings or studies of plants, flowers etc. None of them are masterpieces, but it's just the activity in itself that's fun. Sketching people or animals forces you to be quick, because you don't know when they might move positions or leave or whatever, and being able to quickly and confidently get down the basic lines and forms of something is a good skill to have and to practice.

I also enjoy human anatomy and figure drawing so I'm trying to get better at that. Anatomy is a huge subject and it's too much sometimes to get hung up on trying to learn all the bones and muscles; a while back I got myself a textbook and found videos with that object in mind, but eh. I realised it's kind of a little ambitious when there are still so many things abt drawing in general I still don't know how to do, so I'm going to leave properly teaching myself detailed anatomy until later. Running before you can walk kind of thing, maybe.

That said though, doing a few studies now and then is still very useful, just learning a bit at a time and gradually getting used to remembering certain aspects about drawing the human body is progress enough.

In school, life drawing classes were pretty useful but I don't have access to any rn sadly. However, and this is not a #spon or anything jfjffj it's just what I do, I like this website called line of action which has photo references for artists to use; obviously there are countless sites like it but I like this one because it provides you with a timer tool kind of thing, so you can set it to 'class mode' and it will give you images to draw from in stages of 30 second sketches, then moving to a minute, then longer 5-10 minute studies and so on.

Even if you don't know shit about muscles and whatever, just observing the human figure from the outside (via images on the Internet if you understandably do not have access to real humans to pose for you lmao) and drawing it a bunch of times is still beneficial. The other I day I realised that ab muscles were confusing to me, so I literally just googled male abs and copied from a few pictures, just noting how they look, what basic shapes to remember etc.

Another good exercise that I haven't done for a while actually is to do some continuous line drawing, which means drawing something without taking your pen off the paper. For a subject you can use something/someone from life or just a picture on your computer or whatever, but basically just focus on keeping your pen/pencil on the page without lifting it, it's really useful in building up, like, confidence in your line work I guess, and it can look pretty cool actually, because it makes this kind of squiggly effect.

I'm just answering this on mobile right now and don't have time to post any pictures, but I'm thinking I could always post some of my studies and practice work now and then. Some of them will be messy LOL but I guess it might be a good thing to show this kind of stuff instead of finished, polished pieces all the time idk?

Anyway this got long and you didn't rly ask for it sorry chjfnfkf but thank you so much for the ask!!! Hope you're having a good day :-) ❤️

#asks #ask and ye shall receive unprompted blah blah blah ing from lisette #lemme know if any of this was interesting or if anyone wants me to elaborate on something

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years

Text

My life, The Doctor; 10th Doctor x Nurse!reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys I know it’s been awhile but I finally decided to work on another story outside the Queen/BoRhap fandom. Now this request came from @originalposter96 idk if this is your user name anymore but I hope you’ll be able to see it.

NOW WARNING HERE I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A NURSE!!! So I know absolutely NOTHING about surgeries or anything like that, so this may seem as lazy writing (sorry) but I hope you all still enjoy this fic. So since this does involve the reader being a Nurse there is a hospital involved, surgeries, blood, removing bullets, gunshots, and a slight trigger warning for Domestic violence (not between the Doctor and reader just some side characters).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@dancingcoolcat

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@ixchel-9275

__________________________________________________________

There have been many wonderous places I’ve been to, many wonderful people and creatures I’ve met. They all come and go in my life, whether through my adventures or by time itself all beings enter my life one way or another. But throughout all my previous lives, every single being in the Universe that I had ever known, one person was above and beyond special.

Her name was (Y/n) (L/n). And she—is and will always be the love of my life.

For a human she was extremely clever, sharp as a whip, but she was also kind, loyal, and the one thing about her is that she never gives up on anyone. As a Head nurse—oh did I forget to mention that? Yes my (y/n) is one of the best Nurses in all of England.

Anyone in her time or even in the future when she finally becomes an M.D. will tell you that she is one of the best. In fact she finds out future cures for worldwide pandemics (of course sometimes her board would deny her research and billions of people perish. Rotten bastards). Anyways, my (y/n) truly is one of a kind amongst the humans and I am glad to have met her.

And won’t she be surprised when she sees me. It had been awhile since I had last seen her (maybe since the day she graduated medical school just a year ago her time) and now with the Cybermen and Daleks taken care of, now’s a good a time to go see her.

I set the coordinates for her time period and flipped the switch allowing the TARDIS to activate and soon going through time and space.

*My POV*

April 14th, 2015, 10:05pm. It had been a long day. 5 surgeries, 3 MRI scans, a cancer treatment report, and 2 women in labor later, I was just about to drop right there on the floor. I was thankful that in like 20min. my shift was gonna be over.

“You look like you’re about to drop dead right on the spot.” I snapped out of my sleepy stage to see my good friend Chrissie Lang. She and I had graduated from the same Med school together, and had most of the same classes together. She and I are each other’s support system cause in this line or work—it can take a toll on you.

I remember this one time this woman came in at 6 months pregnant bleeding profusely from her legs. We both knew that she was suffering a miscarriage so we told to do what her Doctor told us to do, but by the end of it Chrissie was completely destroyed. She always wanted to be a mum and seeing something like that happen made her fearful for even trying to go for a baby with her and her boyfriend.

So for the next ten minutes after helping the woman out, Chrissie and I just held onto each other and shed our tears before we had to brush it off and move onto the next case we had. For those that say being a Doctor or a Nurse is the easiest job to do, they’re liars. The job can hit you not just physically, but mentally as well.

“After 2 days of not sleeping, I just might. Put on my tombstone (Y/n) (l/n). Died with a heart of gold and a stomach of caffeine.”

“That’s true cause I swear girl, you’re probably the most caffeine addicted person I’ve ever met.”

“I can stop whenever I want, these are just choices.” We both chuckled softly.

“Excuse me ladies, but would you mind helping me with something?” a familiar voice said to me. We both turned to our right and standing there with a bouquet of my favorite color of carnations was the Doctor.

“Of course, what can we do for you sir?” asked Chrissie.

“Hey Chris, why don’t you let me handle this?” I suggested.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, besides you’re about to clock out sooner than me, you go on and head home. I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay, see you later (n/n).” she bid the Doctor good evening and he did the same. Once Chrissie left the lobby, I turned towards the Doctor smiling widely as he did the same.

I immediately embraced him and he picked me up and twirled me around, the two of us laughing together.

“Oh I swear every time I come back, you get more beautiful.” He said as he set me down.

“I’m just happy you got to come back at all.” I said as I cupped his face in my hands. His eyes grew soft as he placed his hands over mine.

“I know what I do is dangerous, but you know why I do what I do.” I nodded in understandment.

“I mean hell it wouldn’t be any different if you were human and worked as a police officer or a fireman. Hell we humans live in a dangerous world, anything could kill us.”

“Which is what makes me the Doctor.”

“It does indeed.” I stroked his cheek with my thumb and that’s when he reached for the bouquet he had set down on the front desk and he presented it to me. “You always know just how to cheer me up.”

“Figured you might’ve had a long, rough day. Thought a little color could be used to brighten up your day.”

“It sure did, thank you my love.”

“Anything for you my life.”

That was a thing between us. When we first started dating each other, we had a little code/nickname for each other. I call the Doctor ‘my love’ because ever since he literally dropped from the sky onto my doorstep, he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met.

He’s quirky, bit of a goofball, can sometimes blow his top but that’s only when something really dangerous happens and he’s under stress (yeah I’ve traveled with him a couple of times during my time at Med school), but he’s also loyal, brave, beyond clever, and he always puts everyone else, especially the human race above himself. For the last of his species, he’s an incredibly selfless person.

He calls me ‘his life’ because whenever things get too hard for him, since he and I have been through some rough stuff due to our day to day life, I always try my best to comfort him. I know that he’s lost people, just like I have on a job, and it’s not an easy thing to get pass.

So we both try to be each other’s support system. We know there is always loss in the world, but the thing is to not let that be the driving point that always controls your life. You can use it to make you stronger, not let it drag you down any further.

“So how has my brave Dr. (L/n) been since I last saw her?”

“You know I’m not a Doctor yet, I still gotta go through the nursing program and then rise up in the ranks before I finally get it.”

“Oh rubbish, you should’ve been a Doctor right as you graduated.”

“Yeah well not according to the chief here.” I muttered annoyedly.

“Honestly though, that old fool wouldn’t know a good doctor if it turned around and bit him in the arse.” I shushed him but couldn’t help myself from giggling softly.

“You can be so cruel sometimes you know that?” he playfully shrugged.

“Only when it comes to people who hurt you.” he wrapped his arms around me and pecked my cheek. “How much longer till your shift ends?” I turned to the clock and responded.

“10 minutes. But…..I could clock out a little early since there hasn’t been a call.”

“Playing hooky ehh? You cheeky little minx.” He grinned like the Cheshire cat. As we leaned closer to each other about to kiss, the doors suddenly burst open and a frantic voice called out.

“HELP! HELP! MY BROTHER NEEDS HELP! HELP!” a blonde woman around her mid 30’s came in holding her brother who looked to be around the same age as her. Quite possible they might’ve been twins cause I could see some similarities on the both of them. Her brother was completely covered in blood and his lips were blue from blood loss.

“Okay Miss calm down. I NEED A STRECHER STAT!!” soon enough the nurses who were still here for the nightshift ran off as I walked towards the two siblings. “What happened?”

“My ex-boyfriend jumped us. He thought—he thought my brother was a new boyfriend of mine and he—he—oh god this is my f-fault!”

“No, no, no Miss this is not your fault.” As I tried to calm her down, the stretcher bed soon came in and a group of nurses helped the man on his back and began cutting away his shirt.

“I’m seeing 3 bullet wounds to the chest and one on his abdomen. Let’s move him!” I get onto the top right of him as we wheel him into the OR to save his life while another nurse stayed behind with the sister to calm her down.

I washed my hands and arms frantically and thoroughly before getting my shrubs and mask on. Already the destine nurses, assistants and now our head Doctor, Dr. Murphy came in and he said.

“What have we got?”

“Four shots in the upper body, two in the lower. He might’ve lost a pint of blood at least.” Answered Nurse Yasmin.

“Maybe 2-3. His BP is dropping fast.” Added one of the male Nurses, Derek.

“Okay, any of those bullets rupture an organ?” asked Dr. Murphy.

“The one in his lower abdomen is just a centimeter before hitting his small intestine. If we don’t get that bullet out first he could bleed out internally.”

“Okay keep an eye on his BP. I need fluids, scalpels, suction tubs, retractors……”

“Lucy….”the man groaned out.

“(L/n), do your thing.” Said Dr. Murphy. I nodded and came up to the man and said.

“Sir? Sir can you hear me?”

“Yes. Where—where am I?”

“You’re at the hospital. Your sister brought you in. Don’t worry she’s okay and told us what happened.”

“Good….good……She’s safe. I—I’d never forgive myself if—” he started fading out.

“Hey, hey, hey sir, sir stay with me now. What’s your name? Can you tell me your name?”

“Barry.”

“Okay Barry, I’m (Y/n) (l/n). My team and I are gonna help you but you need to stay with me for just a bit. Don’t give up on me.”

“It hurts….it hurts so badly.”

“I know, I know.”

“Give him a shot of morphine to numb the pain.” Dr. Murphy ordered. Suzie got the morphine bag and needle ready and slowly stuck the needle into his left arm. Barry hissed and I said to him.

“This’ll help lessen the pain. You won’t feel the pain as we try to get the bullets out of you Barry. But you gotta stay with me, okay?”

“I’ll—try……” he mumbled tiredly. I placed my hand on his cheek and looked up at his vitals and saw his BP was continuing to drop and his heartbeat was going down.

As I looked around me, frantically Dr. Murphy and all the nurses were working together trying to get all the bullets out of him one by one, less we risk him bleeding out as two teams tried to work out a single bullet. With the main one near his intestines cleared, Dr. Murphy and Nurse Helen worked on getting the few out of his upper chest.

All the while Barry kept groaning every now and then and his eyes were fading fast.

“Barry. Barry hey look at me boy. If you can’t do this for yourself, do it for your sister. From what she said about who had done this to you, you need to stay alive for her. What you did was heroic, but don’t let her see that that selfish son of a bitch won. She needs you, your family needs you.”

“I got the blood transfusion he now needs. Thankfully, we had our last bag of B+ in the storage bin.” A young male nurse who had only worked here for a year, Cody exclaimed as he came through the doors.

“Alright, start the transfusion now! We just got the last bullet out and his BP is dropping faster and faster!”

“You hear me Barry? We’re getting you your life back. But it’s gonna be up to you now. Don’t let him be the victor, not tonight! You hear me?” he groaned and looked right up at me and he whispered groggily to me.

“Why do you care so much?” I took a deep breath in and said as I stroked the hair from his face.

“Because so many people everywhere are already dying every day. Some because time has run out on them, others for serving their country, but there are the odds of people dying for now reason whatsoever. Or for stupid reasons that shouldn’t be a reason why someone should have to die, especially if it’s protecting their family member from some arsehole who can’t tell the meaning of the word No. Now your sister is out there waiting for you, if she loses you, she’ll have lost her Ace. Her only friend that has stuck by her through whatever it was that her ex-boyfriend did to her.”

“He…..always was a……selfish prick!” he coughed out.

“I’ll bet he was. But she survived him, and now you’ve got to survive too. Don’t give him that satisfaction that he took a life tonight. Can you do that for me?” he nodded softly and whispered out again.

“You’d make a great motivational speaker.”

“I was on the debate team back in secondary school. If you wanna hear more, you’ll just have to stick around Earth for a little while longer.” After his final stitches were in place, the blood transfusion began and it was then Dr. Murphy had Cody, Darren, and Helen wheel him into ICU. From there, Barry would be monitored 24/7 till he woke up from his post-surgery coma.

Dr. Murphy took off his mask and gloves before turning to me and he said to me.

“Nice job keeping him talking.”

“Just doing my job sir.”

*Doctor’s POV*

Unaware to anyone else, I had snuck into the upper levels to witness the surgery in progress. I watched as (y/n) stayed right by the young man’s side and kept giving him encouragement to stay alive. But not for himself, for his sister.

This. Is why she would one day go down in the medical books as the world’s greatest Female doctor’s. She always put the lives of the people her patient’s love over their own, then psychologically, the patient’s bodies would continue to fight on until finally they would find the strength to recover.

Of course she will have her failures cause that’s life. You can’t save everyone but you can work harder at saving the ones you can save in the future. She doesn’t let one failure get her down, that’s sometimes the curse of being a Doctor. When you lose people, it can really affect you. Even when those closest to you are the ones you lose. Believe me I’ve been there millions of times throughout my 10 life cycles (she’s lucky she’ll only deal with one).

By morning, the lad Barry managed to make a full recovery. His sister, Lucy repeatedly thanked all the doctors and nurses who helped out with saving her brother before giving her statement to the police.

I waited outside by the TARDIS for my beloved Doctor to clock out, and when she finally came out the poor dear looked exhausted. I extended my arms out for her and she gave me a tired smile before collapsing into my arms.

“Just when I thought I could get at least one early night in.” her voice muffled against my trench coat but I still managed to hear her. I softly laughed and rocked her gently as I assured her.

“I know, but hey if you hadn’t been here, that young man would’ve died.”

“Oh you know it was Dr. Murphy as well as a few other nurses that actually did the real operation to save him.”

“True, but you were just as important if not more. You kept him awake and talking.” I shrugged tiredly agree-to-disagreeing. “Now then, I think after a night like that, and from lack of sleep these past couple of days you deserve to be pampered and see the wonders of the galaxy.”

“How did you—”

“Besides the bags under your eyes, I’ve seen the amount of Starbucks cups at your apartment.” She groaned embarrassingly. God this girl and her coffee addiction, truthfully I never understood why humans choose that as their beverage of choice. I myself prefer a good Earl grey or even sometimes Jasmine tea but ugh that horrible bland stuff they call coffee?! Never. Again. Will that drink touch my taste buds.

“Care to show me the wonders of time and space?”

“Need a pick me up boost?” she nodded. I kicked open the doors of the TARDIS and hopped inside before extending my hand out to her saying, “First question is though; do you trust me?”

“Always my love.” She replied with that loving soft smile of hers as she took my hand.

“Then brace yourself my life, because I’m going to show you the sound of the Universe.”

“You mean…..”

“Indeed I do my love, the Music of the Spheres.” Her smile grew wider and I pulled her into the TARDIS before shutting the doors behind her and together the two of us ran towards the consoles of the TARDIS and I punched in the coordinates and soon we took off for the Music of the Spheres.

And who knows where our next adventure would lead after that? So long as I got my love, my life, my Doctor with me by my side.

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coredrill · 3 years

Text

alright here are my rwby8 thoughts now that i’ve had a few days to sit on ‘em!! spoilers for the entire volume under the cut

so if anyone happens to open this and is like “wow this is more words than i’ve seen you use ever” lol yup! it’s probably the most words i’ve written since high school lmao. feel free to read through if ya really want but this is mostly just my own way of organizing my thoughts for this kind of stuff rather than making a million different posts on random parts of it. this way if i want to look back in the future and say “haha wow can’t believe i thought THAT” it’s all in one easy location! i don’t expect anyone else to be reading all this shite lol

thoughts on the volume as a whole:

honestly i loved it!! there’s very little that i would’ve changed and most of that is nit-picking stuff. i’m very impressed that this volume was made in quarantine lmao. the animation in and of itself was STUNNING (shout out to the finale’s water animation...the aura break particle effects...the cinnamon topography of the amity scenes...all of the facial & body expressions...the whale disintegrating...)

i’d honestly say that it’s probably my second favorite volume?? volume 4 is still my beloved but v8 was so good. i’ll probably need to watch it through a few more times but god. i LOVED IT.

honorable mention cause idk where else to put it: some of the scores were breathtaking!!! i tend not to notice background music on my first watch unless it really sticks out to me and there were quite a few scenes where that happened in a good way this volume. the ones where cinder breaks into the atlas control room and the one at the end when atlas is flooding are probably my favs!!! also there was this one part where it was just screeching over ironwood and it worked really really well.

okay so now for individual characters. let’s start with ruby:

i would like to fund her therapy

very surprised that she didn’t “break” this volume! i was sort of expecting it to happen--between ironwood, the amity plan only kind of working, the hound, the virus, and the fact that she was separated from her usual support system (qrow, yang, and jaune), i was definitely expecting her to. i’m glad she didn’t though cause it’s gonna be so much harder when she actually does (probably when she finds out that cinder has the relics and penny’s dead...)

massive shout out to lindsay jones for managing to make squeaky-voiced ruby still sound like ruby even while going through a whole host of emotions we’ve never seen ruby go through before!

god. that scene where crescent rose fell into the drink and ruby scrambled after it. my heart dropped lmao.

also. this is likely because i’ve got an engineering degree (which came with a free stick up my butt when it comes to technology in media) but the line where they say “mass no longer matters” wrt her semblance??? WHAT??? bro splitting mass up into smaller chunks doesn’t change the actual mass of the material itself what is going on here 😭😭😭 (this isn’t a real criticism of any kind i just yelled WHAT after they said that line lmao)

weiss:

i have one single weiss criticism and its that, in the scene where she’s leaving whitley to go fight the hound, she says “we still need to work on your attitude” and for whatever reason, the voice track doesn’t sound like it was quite mixed right? like it sounds like she’s just standing there rolling her eyes but my girl is BOOKING it out of the room lmao

other than that: weiss you are PERFECT. she really spent this entire volume saving and taking care of the people she loves!!! and i loved every second of it!!!

i would’ve liked to see more of her and klein/whitley/willow. i think there’s a lot of great stuff in that dynamic (not me crying when klein showed up at the manor...) and especially between weiss and her mother. i hope we get one big schneeuinon in vacuo once they + winter are all in the same location (but that’s gonna be a while i think lmao)

it’s been said a million times before but weiss?? shaking and crying but using gambol shroud anyway?? even though she thinks her teammates are all dead?? giving ruby the staff and pushing her out of the line of fire and pulling blake back to safety??? fighting cinder, a fucking wholeass maiden, with no aura because she needs to protect penny?? only unable to get up and keep fighting after she watches gambol shroud (the last physical piece she has of her teammates) go over the edge??? bro. BRO. i’m legit tearing up just TYPING THAT. god she’s gonna find her team at that island resort and never let them go. gonna be like v4 jaune all over again huh??

blake/yang:

not as much here since they didn’t get a whole lot of focus this volume, but i enjoyed all their scenes! yang just fuckin going at salem was 1000/10.

i will say...i think blake’s gonna kiss yang when they meet up in tropical paradise. and good for her!! (especially if this volume’s been planned since the beginning, it makes sense that this would be the writers’ idea for where they wanted their first kiss to be)

jaune:

going from ren saying “he has no fear. he believes that we can do this” about jaune to, five chapters later, forcing jaune to deliver a killing blow to penny was just CRUEL

the fucking dissonance of jaune haha!-awkward-renora-moment-exit vomit-boy-through-the-portals hit-in-the-head-with-a-rock arc being the one that penny asks..............bro. don’t hmu.

it’s going to be such a long time until we see him smile again.

also. the moment when crocea mors snaps in half...again, my stomach dropped.

but it’s okay! he’ll be fine without a weapon! he’s the ~strategist~! *breaks the fuck down*

it hurts so much too to think about, like oscar mentioned.....even if/when he does reunite with ren and nora, he’s not gonna be the same person he was when they last saw him. he’s not gonna be their goofy, wholesome, soft, snarky, healer team leader anymore. he just got his shit sorted out, he just stopped being actively suicidal, and tbh i think this might affect him worse than what happened with pyrrha. especially since they were compounding in his brain--what he did gave penny more of a choice than pyrrha ever got, but GEEZ.

pain. just. pain.

nora:

NORA MY BELOVED

okay. OKAY. so like she was passed out for half the volume but what we did get of her was fucking amazing

nora’s mom i am going to find you and have some words. i’ve mentioned this before but this woman has the same energy as the mom from grave of the fireflies who was like “i know we’re actively being bombed right now but i’m going to abandon my children and get myself to safety.” SQUARE UP BITCH. i hope we never see nora’s mom in the show because i will become filled with rage

but nora herself??? flawless. perfection.

i really did love her journey this volume. realizing that she wants to become her own person apart from ren, and then telling him that when he says that he loves her?? nora sweetie that was heartbreaking but i am SO SO PROUD OF YOU.

nora putting herself first for once and being told that people love her WE FREAKING LOVE TO SEE IT

except NOW that’s all gonna go haywire 😭😭😭

like...the moment in the finale where you can see she’s hesitant to leave jaune to to go vacuo but she goes anyway because he’s her leader and he doesn’t like splitting up either and she loves him and she trusts him only for her to get STUCK ON THE OTHER SIDE BANGING ON THE PORTAL. that scene fucking BROKE me. you just KNOW she’s gonna be hating herself for going through and leaving jaune (even though nobody knew it was one way!!!) and when the portal dissolves and he doesn’t come through........

she really thinks that she’s lost TWO teammates now. that’s TWO teammates that she wasn’t able to save. she saved ren from the nuckelavee but pyrrha’s dead and as far as she knows jaune’s dead too

and jaune’s her fucking family!!!!!!!

and like. when we see her on the vacuo side of the portal, we see that she’s got the happy huntresses behind her. she did her job and she gathered them but now she can’t get back through and AHHHHHH. FUCK. when she drops to her knees because she realizes.........that fucking killed me. i’m tearing up now just typing this sdmndbm

and like. the worst part is that she just realized that she wants some time away from ren. but everyone else is gone and just like when they were kids he’s all she’s got and they are gonna lean on each other harder than ever because this time they both lost EVERYTHING. not just jaune, but ruby, who was their teammate for a while too. weiss, who took such great care of nora while she was injured. penny, who nora helped with blake’s advice. yang, who ren had time to bond with this volume. FUCK

it’s gonna hurt so bad to watch but i cannot WAIT to see what nora does next and how she moves forward. god. this is gonna kill her. it’s killing ME and i’m just a viewer lmao

ren:

remember that one week where neath went on twitter and was like “i love renora and i’m gonna make that everyone else’s problem”??? yeah. that was a good week lmao

speaking of neath. MASSIVE PROPS TO HIM FOR HIS WORK. he managed to give ren every single emotion in the book this volume and none of it sounded ooc despite ren being such a repressed character before. he did incredible!!!!

I LOVED REN SO MUCH THIS VOLUME GOD. i mean i love him in every volume BUT HE HAD SO MANY GOOD MOMENTS AND SUCH A GOOD ARC

i’ve already talked about it at length but the scene where his semblance evolves is one of my favorites in the whole show. he’s so fucking full of love that it’s literally tearing him apart and when he finally accepts that fact his ENTIRE SOUL levels up!!! he looks at himself and there are pink petals falling off of him because he can’t contain the love in his body anymore!!! it’s there in a literal, physical manifestation and it’s so. fucking. GOOD. FUCK.

and also my obligatory remark about how he was thinking about oscar and pyrrha and his parents in that moment. people he loved platonically and familially. rwby goes so fucking hard for platonic love and i can’t ever thank them enough. to see ren have this realization because he was thinking about oscar.....god i’m gonna cry again LMAO

and then after that the way that he just. looks at jaune in every scene with the biggest fucking heart eyes. i’m gonna fucking combust he loves his leader SO MUCH. (which. as i mentioned in the nora section. pain now)

and the nora stuff........JUST AS GOOD

another thing i’ve talked about a lot but to see him apologize, be emotionally open, listen to what nora’s saying and what nora needs, TELL HER THAT HE LOVES HER FIRST, not holding a single thing against her, agreeing to wait for her to be ready.........literal perfection holy shit

romance is normally not one of my favorite aspects of any media but i will make an exception for whatever the fuck ren and nora got going on

basically as a ren stan / jnpr stan i was thriving this volume and then that finale hit me and i know i will be in pain until they reunite again

i have a handful of jnr gifs that i was planning to make during the hiatus but now they’re all PAIN aksjhdasjdh

oscar:

deeply worried about the quickly approaching merge. i’m really hoping that oscar and oz stay separate but i also love seeing all the animation/voice acting nuances that indicate that they’re getting closer to the merge.......AH

this volume really hammered home just how strong this kid is. he stands up to SALEM and does the right thing even despite the torture cause he’s so BRAVE and STRONG and when he trusted hazel with the password DESPITE IT ALL. ugh. so good.

i love oscar so much and i’ve loved seeing him grow!!!

penny:

serious stuff coming in the next bullet point but. GOD. her model’s head is so big and i don’t know WHY but this stuck out to me every time she was standing next to someone else. it might be because of the volume of her hair (but yang’s hair also has a lot of volume, and her head is normal sized)??? idk it just threw me off a lot. every time she was like, talking to ruby or something, all i could think about was how her head was bigger than ruby’s ENTIRE TORSO lmao. (also why didn’t they give her human body shoes skdjhaksjh)

that said.........oh, penny 😭😭😭😭😭

i’m surprised that she died but only because i thought her plot armor was pretty thick LMAO. narratively it makes a lot of sense and i’m glad her story ended the way it did.

i’ve seen a lot of people interpreting her actions in the finale as “choosing to die,” but i don’t think that’s the case?? penny’s friends all saved her every single time that she presented her own death as an option. that’s what makes this so tragic, is that they successfully saved her every time she offered that, and that in the end, she still died. she was gonna die anyway. she was impaled by cinder--jaune didn’t have enough time to heal her before cinder defeated weiss (who had no aura!!) and turned on them again. penny made her own choices when 1. she asked to die at the hands of a friend, rather than by cinder’s soul-sucking grimm arm and whatever horrible fate that includes and 2. to choose her successor. and i don’t blame her for making either of those choices! she wanted to die with as much dignity as peace as she could and to choose whose life she would be intertwined with. and while it’s very sad, i’m glad that penny finally got some sense of control over herself and her legacy.

and like...she was so happy when she met up with winter!! she was so happy to have full autonomy for once!!! that scene was both heartwarming and heartbreaking!!!

i also think that penny’s death reinforces the idea that remnant is gonna be very different by the time rwbyjnorqe is done with it. now not one but two kindhearted girls have gotten killed because they got tangled up in the maiden powers—which were originally meant to be a gift!! and i’m very interested to see what the resolution is gonna be!! (i know it’s gonna be in like. volume 52 or something alsjfndnx but still!!)

also, if nothing else, i am very glad that whole “pietro sacrifices the last of his aura to revive her” theory is gone. i hate that theory lmao

i will say, while i enjoyed penny’s role this volume, i do think that maybe some of her screentime could’ve gone elsewhere. i get that there needed to be a lot of focus on her, so that we would be attached when she died, but i think it would’ve been beneficial to spread that screentime elsewhere just a bit, especially since she wasn’t really developing at all. hitting the same point with her like seven times did start to feel a bit repetitive lol. my vote would be for extra time with the schnees, or the jn(o)r reunion at schnee manor, or maybe a scene checking in with pietro and maria!!

emerald:

EMERALD MY BELOVED

YOU DEFECTED!!!! GOOD FOR YOU GIRL!!!!

i hope we get a LOT more time with her in the future. she’s still gotta work out the cinder thing of course but i also think it’s gonna be super interesting to see how she acts now that she (alongside oscar, ren, nora, the hh, and winter) is one of the closest things their group has to a “leader”

also like........good for her for being one of the LEAST traumatized people this volume despite being THREATENED BY SALEM

somebody give emerald a nice long hug

i love her

that is all

winter:

WINTER OH MY GOD

seeing her struggle with her emotions all volume.....only to finally accept them and save marrow’s life.....and because of that choice she realizes how long overdue it was and goes all in on helping the heroes.....and is eventually chosen to become the next winter maiden by the girl who challenged her to accept her emotions in the first place......😭😭😭 chef’s kiss

“you chose nothing. this was a gift.” *demolishes ironwood but doesn’t stick around cause he’s not worth it* *fights cinder* POETIC CINEMA!!!!!

also i cannot wait to see her schneeunion with willow, whitley, and klein.......even if she does have to be the one to tell them what happened to weiss 😭

cinder:

CINDER I HATE YOU BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD VILLAIN

her backstory was pretty self explanatory but i think this was a good time to spell it out especially while we were in atlas. the culmination of that, her consistent failures to achieve her goals after v3, and watts dragging her really all just came together to make her so much more intimidating and efficient and i loved watching it.

like i know there’s people who don’t like her as a character but she’s always so fun to watch and her va does AMAZING and she’s just. so INTERESTING

also. i cannot wait for her to find out that ruby and neo are both alive (and especially when salem finds out they’re both alive LMAO)

also also her line to ruby about never being born feels.......awfully specific??? i wonder if it’s a hint at some other part of salem/cinder/ruby/summer lore (like her “and i refuse to starve” line from last volume)

also also also CINDER.......lying to salem is gonna backfire on you at one point or another.......HM

salem:

gosh i love salem. she’s such a good villain and i loved all her scenes (especially the fight scene...SO COOL).

very interested in whatever she does next!! since the only remaining lackey she has is cinder (who is now starting to try to manipulate her) and tyrian and mercury, who are in vacuo, i’m curious about her next steps. is she gonna keep recruiting, now that people know who she is?? is she gonna come to vacuo herself?? she could definitely do a WHOLE LOT OF DAMAGE with the refugee situation there, so i’m super excited to see how her next moves play out!!

hazel/tyrian/watts/merc/neo:

rip hazel. glad we were able to get an INSANE fight scene out of him before his death BUT ALSO WHAT’S WITH YOU BEATING THE SNOT OUT OF A 14 YEAR OLD HUH

listen. listen. i know merc-rescues-oscar was never a possibility BUT i still love that idea. it lives in my mind rent free!!!

i feel like mercury’s gonna be so insane after the worst road trip ever in a confined space with tyrian that he’s gonna be immediately redeemed by team sssnn and the power of himbofication upon landing in vacuo LMAO

real talk though, i am VERY interested in what happens when mercury sees emerald again and learns she defected. like, this is his friend, who he’s tried to keep safe the only way he knows how (by keeping his head down and not angering their abuser) and she got out but he didn’t. GOD. AND in the first fight she was in after defecting, she used the move that she learned by watching him!!!! that’s gonna be SO GOOD and i can’t wait to see it!!!

neo is a wildcard and i love watching her fight and i think it’s SO INTERESTING that she went over the side with rwby and jaune and i CAN’T WAIT to see what she does next.

WATTS MY DUDE. what a GOOD volume for him. like the stuff where he yells at cinder was SO COOL to see and it was so funny that he thought that wasn’t gonna come back to bite him LMAO. i think this was super fitting for him and while i like him as a villain, i think this was a good place for his story to end. i had a lot of fun watching his scenes this volume.

qrow/robyn:

I LOVE THEIR SIBLING ENERGY. robyn talking qrow down and them bonding over their semblances together was so great.

i also loved qrow’s semblance...evolving?? changing?? idk what exactly happened yet, but i know that if i too hung out with robyn hill for 48 hours straight my outlook on life would improve dramatically.

i do hope robyn makes it to vacuo soon because she will be invaluable at handling the refugee crisis there.

on the other hand, if qrow gets to vacuo and finds out that ruby and yang (and three more of his adopted kids) never made it........PAIN. oh my god it’s gonna be like summer all over again 😭😭

aceops:

did not expect to get teary-eyed when vine died. and yet i did. that “themes of death” cw on the finale was CERTAINLY SOMETHING HUH

hell yeah marrow!!! what a good boi!!! i loved his defection ofc and him going off on ironwood...chefs kiss

i hope marrow sticks with the main cast. he’s my favorite and he deserves to see his friends again!!!

as for elm and harriet, i’m not sure?? i think harriet still has a lot of work to do before she’s redeemed in my eyes. maybe they can be dropped off at beacon to help glynda fight the grimm/rebuild so that they can be back for the show’s ending but the cast is somewhat trimmed for vacuo lmao

also. i know they’re not aceops. but WHERE ARE FLYNT AND NEON ARE THE MEME KIDS OKAY

happy huntresses:

may marigold is literally perfect in every way

loved them! would’ve loved to see more of them lmao. maybe even just cutting back to them in the crater reacting to some of the stuff going on.

i very much hope we get to see them in the future! i know the vacuans aren’t gonna be happy with the atlas/mantle people showing up unannounced but i feel like if there’s anyone who’s gonna be able to earn their respect, it’s the organized-and-saved-the-lives-of-those-downtrodden-by-atlas-happy-huntresses.

maria & pietro:

okay. SO. my thoughts are either that they made it to vacuo (penny did see where amity would touch down, so it’s possible that a portal was placed in that location and they made it through) or qrow picks them up.

either way, i hope we get to see them again. I LOVE THESE TWO GEEZERS!!!

oh, pietro......... *cries*

ironwood:

not much to say here except that i loved it. i loved how he got more and more paranoid, i loved that he vaporized jacques schnee, i loved that he only went cartoon-villain at the last moment, i loved that he died unceremoniously surrounded by the thing he thought would save them all. i love that cinder got in one final chess reference beforehand. 10/10

the hound:

it feels like a lifetime ago that this guy died but holy shit. holy SHIT.

i want whitley to summon the hound!! it was an enemy that pushed him to grow, i think it would be neat!!

ambrosius:

LOVED THIS DUDE. i LOVE how his powers work!!! like, even though it’s magic, it’s so realistic because that’s how creation works!!! you gotta design the EXACT thing you want or else its gonna be fucked up!!!

like. okay. so (back on my engineering bs again lmao) for example. let’s say i’m writing a program where the user enters a number from 1-10 and it’s displayed on the computer screen. so i write whatever code i need that says “take user input and put on screen.” that’s what ambrosius did when he created the portals and the pathways between them!

and then let’s say i also put a warning to the user that says “only enter numbers from 1-10.” that would be ambrosius saying “do not fall.”

but...the user can still enter whatever they want. what happens if they put in the number 100? what happens if they type a letter? this program only puts numbers from 1-10 on screen, so who knows what’s gonna happen. and that’s what happens when people fall off the railings!!!

“oh, but you told them what numbers to enter” yeah but humans are unpredictable and ya gotta account for the human element when doing stuff like this!! team rwby didn’t account for people falling off--because why would people fall off if they were told not to? but the human element messed that up anyway!!!

anyways i’m a fucking nerd apparently but it was super cool to see that reflected in ambrosius!!! i’m a big fan!!!

like whenever people call him tricky or sneaky...no!!! he was just doing exactly what he was told to do!!!! so good!!!

also i wanna see him hang out with his sister jinn lmao

alright and here’s my thoughts/predictions for v9:

first off i just wanna say that this entire section (this entire post really, but especically this section) is just me spitballing lmao. we literally have ZERO clue what’s happening next or where they are, i’m just throwing out some stuff that’s crossed my mind! whatever crwby gives us is gonna be infinitely better than whatever i come up with lmao

that said, i have two ideas for what could be happening in madagascar.

option one is the one i’ve seen other people toss around, which is the whole wonderland-land-of-the-dead thing. i’m kinda torn on this because i think it could be good for penny’s storyline, but not really anyone else’s?? sure, yang and ruby could see summer, but weiss would see...jacques?? and blake would see...adam?? i’m not sure what weiss and blake would have to say to them/learn from them the same way ruby and yang would.

on that same idea, jaune could definitely see pyrrha, but again, i’m wondering what purpose that would serve? obviously jaune’s actions in the finale were guided by pyrrha (or specifically her mom, and realizing that pyrrha never had a choice either), but it’s clear that that’s the case for all of team jnpr, and it will be probably forever. their scene together at pyrrha’s memorial felt like they were closing the door--specifically--on their grief. on the other hand, those actions are super relevant right now and i will never turn down the chance to see pyrrha!!! it’s just free waterworks babey!!!

neo also has roman, but i can’t really see roman admitting to anyone that he got swallowed by a grimm 😭😭 just seems too embarrassing for him LMAO

for penny, i think this could work nicely. all she ever wanted was to not have her life controlled by others--kind of like alice in wonderland (the disney movie version because i am fairy tale illiterate lmao). if penny gets to exist after death in a land where she gets to choose everything for herself i think she would be very happy!

again, if this ends up being the case, crwby could 100% make it work! (and i am 0% opposed to maya model pyrrha.) i just personally am not as sold on this being the case as some others are.

option two imo is vacuo but in the past. which i know seems kind of weird BUT i have reasons!

so we know a few things about vacuo. one, it used to be an oasis and was considered a paradise until atlas and mistral destroyed it for the dust. two, it has giant motherfucking crabs that people like to eat. yes this is all i have to go off of BUT both of those things are in the end credits scene we got!

also, them landing in past-vacuo makes sense on ambrosius’ level. their “one way ticket” probably didn’t include all four dimensions of coordinates--so i could see them landing in the same x, y, and z as the official doorway, but at a different time. the creation would still do exactly what it was asked to do--drop them in vacuo.

there’s also a couple other things. “vacuo” means “in a vacuum” which i’ve heard v9 is supposed to be. also in before the dawn, sun saw some bigass magic tree that awakened his semblance which this one definitely could qualify as

(okay. side note. when i first saw the tree i thought of the glowy tree from james cameron blue people avatar. IDK WHY, i haven’t seen that movie in years??? i also had to google it to make sure i wasn’t making it up and apparently it’s called the “tree of souls.” which would also make sense if it helped sun awakened his semblance. i don’t think rwby based something off of blue people avatar, it’s probably more likely that blue people avatar is based off of some fairytale/mythology that i don’t know anything about LMAO)

i don’t actually think option two is gonna happen, but it was fun to think about!!

also either option opens the opportunity to time not passing 1:1 in current vacuo & rwby’s island getaway which???????? AHHHHH

alright so now to the actual characters lmao. i mentioned wby earlier. i honestly have no clue what neo’s gonna be up to, she’s such a wild card and i LOVE IT.

ruby and jaune is gonna be...........PAIN. NO MATTER WHAT. i have no idea how ruby is gonna react--she might just be so overwhelmed by everything that she snaps/yells at jaune which. PAIN. but she also might not?? which. ALSO PAIN. i feel like no matter what ruby does, jaune’s gonna blame himself anyway. god. i love their friendship SO MUCH and this is gonna HURTTTT

and on that, he doesn’t have ren and nora this time to pull him back from the ledge. this dude’s guilt complex is gonna go crazy especially since he doesn’t have his team and double especially if ruby/rwby blames him for what happened. god it’s gonna HURT TO WATCH.

on a wildly different note, i hope we do get to see vacuo/qrow throughout volume 9. if i go a whole volume without ren and nora i WILL cry lmao.

also it’s gonna be super interesting to see how their group fares!!! vacuo’s fuckin nuts and i’d love to see winter just destroying the grimm there (3 headed giraffe my beloved) and see how the atlas/mantle refugees handle the climate--and how the vacuans react to all of them LMAO

ALSO!!!! THE SULFER FISH WERE THERE!!! very glad to see that they’re in vacuo too because from the concept art it seems like they have super unique abilities and i’m excited that we may get to properly see them, instead of just cameos!!!

team cfvy pspspspspspsps theodore and rumpole pspspspspsps team sssnn pspspspspsps

and, of course, i gotta mention that any possible jnr reunion WILL tear my heart out and i will probably cry for days. i gotta start emotionally preparing now LMAO

alright and that wraps it up!! if anyone makes it down to the bottom props to you!! i don’t expect anyone to actually read this mess lmao. tldr: INCREDIBLE volume and i’m so hype for v9 already!!!

#f: rwby #t.txt #this took me two whole days to type lmao

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thecanadianowl · 3 years

Text

Justice league Snydercut review

Wow talk about a long movie. Remember Mass Effect's 3 shit endings that were later improved (sorta) with DLCs. Well that is kinda how this movie is.

Before we start this, I just wanna say that I was very impartial throughout the whole snydercut movement. I wasn't part of it but I do see the good that they did in regards to some of their charities and with how the fandom itself has been painted in a negative light. So its good that they got what they have been demanding for quite some time. Snyder as director for me, I really am not the biggest fan of. His movies have some great cinematic moments that look amazing but the context around it is what muddles it for me.

Is it better than Whedon's JL? YES. To start I'll look at some of the things that I do like.

I do like how it was split into parts. Gives it that miniseries/Comic book feel

Thank god they removed that stupid cringy flash landing on top of Diana's chest scene.

Darkseid looks good. I know some people have issues with it but I liked it. I mean looking at it first glance has me convinced its Darkseid. His voice isn't too bad either. Reminds me a bit of Injustice 2.

As much as I have issues with Darkseid being introduced so early I do like that he had a brief confrontation/glaredown with the League, foreshadowing a possible in person encounter and that the League needs to expand if they are going to fight against Darkseid.

Steppenwolf's design has greatly improved and looks better than before.

Loved the scenes between Alfred and Diana. Wish there was more of that.

I loved how the movie added Cyborg, Aquaman and Flash attempting to stop Superman from getting to Batman. I also liked how in this version, Batman pleading to Clark's humanity telling him that world needs him and he needs to snap out of it. Also bonus for taking out that scene of Batman on the ground groaning about how old he is getting.

Okay seeing Clark get the black suit and having the voiceovers of both his father's merge together works in terms of Clark's arc into becoming the person he was meant to be. Also like the use of Zimmerman's Ideal of Hope score wished they let it play out a little longer. Probably my favourite moment in the film is where Superman just takes Steppenwolf's Axe like its nothing and freezes it.

Now to go into some of the more critical stuff that bugged me when watching.

For a movie that is 4 hours long, pacing issues were bound to happen. I think the first example of this can be found in the opening with the Superman scream wave (which started to get a bit hilarious when his screams could be heard every now and then) hitting all three mother boxes. they are shown individually reacting to it and it takes time, where it could have just showed them together or an compilation of each of the motherboxes waking up. I know it Snyder's thing but tone down on the slow mo. Like some instances its fine (like with bullet time or Flash's scenes) but other instances I'm just like alright I get it.

The scene involving Cyborg transferring money into that single mother's bank account. Is he gonna do this for all the people suffering just like her? or just for that one person? I mean if you can hack into the world monetary system, you can solve a lot of financial issues affecting the majoirty and not just one person. Did I miss the scene but why did Cyborg go from helping one poor person, suggesting the potential good he can do to change the world for the better to "Fuck the world". Seems a bit inconsistent in character. Especially since he knows who Diana is (from what he says) and that Parademons are after the motherbox. Maybe her offering help, you should take it? idk Vic. Also the whole Auto defense system malfunction, would it not be better if this was established beforehand where we see Vic struggling to maintain his body's autonomy leading up to the Superman confrontation? Prior to that it seemed he had it under control and his biggest conflict throughout the movie seemed more to be with him coming to terms with his new body. With that being said, Cyborg's character here is much more interesting and better than it was originally. I can see why Ray Fisher is so pissed (well that and the abuse he faced). I am glad this was improved and gave the character a lot more to do.

The movie still has the same issue as before in regards to the whole motherbox plot and how convenient it was that all three are located on earth. You would think that with the involvement of Darkseid/Steppenwolf that separating them to distinct locations across space would make it more difficult to collect them. I mean we know that the Green Lanterns exist (we saw one get chomped), you'd think that they or the guardians would take one and secure it on Oa. The pushback to this would be "well there was only one green lantern and he died, so how could they retrieve the box?" which begs my question, why send only one? I mean it has been established that Darkseid is a known conqueror of worlds, you'd think the Guardians would be smart enough to send more than one Lantern to aid Earth in their fight. Did they not think it would be a good idea to have the corps be more involved/keep an eye on earth since it is the only planet that was able to repel Darkseid's forces?

Why is it that the best idea of security when it comes to humans is to bury it? Would it not be better in optics to look over it and know its location instead of dropping it somewhere on the off chance that someone might find it due to being curious or the land changing/altering making the box more easy to attain? A situation as dire/serious as this, you would think that the Amazons/Atlanteans would have been better prepped with armor/weapons for such an event. I mean you have the arrow of Artemis that shoots quite a distance to give Diana a message but not some kind of weapon that hurts/cripples Steppenwolf? Or better yet, how about the moment that the boxes started acting up after Superman's death, that Atlantis/Themiscarya would put aside any differences they had with one another and to the outside world to come together to secure the boxes? How could Darkseid forget the name of the only planet that was able to force him to retreat? nor does he know that it harbors the anti life?

Did this movie break Aquaman's continuity? because from the dialogue between Mera and Arthur, its implied that Atlanna abandoned/left Arthur at Tom's doorsteps whereas in the movie, we see Atlanna spend a couple of years with Tom and raising baby Arthur before she was forced to come back. You'd think Zack being a producer for the Aquaman movie would have edited that line or made it more clear. Well that or James Wan F'ed up when making the movie.

"I've never seen a being as strong as Steppenwolf" Did Diana just forget Ares aka the god of war who killed the Greek Pantheon/Old gods and orchestrated the first World War? Hell from the looks of the flashback it seemed Ares (I'm assuming its Ares, if its Hades, my bad) was getting some good hits in on Darkseid, who is superior to Steppenwolf. While we are on the topic of Diana, it's a bit odd that Snyder who was a producer on WW84 where one of the biggest focuses on the movie that Patty Jenkins talked about was how Diana doesn't solve her problems with violence (even though her primary weapons in this movie are a sword and shield but okay. Then again New 52 hasn't done a good job in disproving that), yet in this movie we see her using her gauntlet smash to fucking kill the one remaining terorrist. Like sure you can argue that they were terrorists and deserve to die, but given how easy and quick it was for her to take out the previous guys, why do something that runs the risks of destroying the very building that you are in (with hostages). I mean from the look of the blast and how much debris fell from the building outside, and it was a miracle no one (but the terrorist) got hurt/killed.

Why did Steppenwolf kidnap them in the first place? Just use that mind extracting device you used on the Atlantean soldier to see if they know. Seems like a waste of time to collect them in one location only to interrogate them later.

Okay, I'm sorry but even in this cut I still don't like Miller's Barry Allen. He isn't as bad as he was in the theatrical cut but man does it stick out. When he is helping to escort the kidnapped civilians out, why doesn't he just grab them and transfer them to a safe distance? He even makes a comment about how slow they are going. Can I also just say how weird it is for Barry to take time saving Iris to caress her hair and look at her more creepily in slow mo? Like yeah its in slow mo but still I think your priority should be to get everyone to safety as quick as possible and check if anyone else could get hurt. I will admit that Barry's speech as he is running so fast to reverse time at the end was really good. Tho the more I think about all the slow mo Flash scenes are good.

They still kept the "Let's use the mother box to bring back Superman plot". Why? This is a piece of tech that you don't fully understand how it works and you are going on the whims of someone you just met. Especially if they come back as a different person/mindset all together. If Superman 's death was the reason that allowed for the Mother box to call to Steppenwolf/Darkseid, what the hell were they doing prior to Superman's arrival on earth? I mean we've seen how easy it was for Steppenwolf to attain the two boxes even if they were guarded, so why the wait ?. I get that Batman is going through an arc and trying to change from the person he was but how does go from "1% chance of absolute certainty" to "let's go on a whim and have faith" when it comes to resurrecting Superman?

Its gonna be awkward as to how Clark will explain his sudden return from the grave around the same time Superman came back.

I was wondering when the Knightmare scene will play out. Jared leto's Joker isn't over with me, it seems way too try-hard to be edgy. Other than that yeah, not much I can say about it. Tho do we seriously need another iteration where Superman (or someone with Superman like powers) is evil?

I also love how nonchalant Bruce is about J'onn appearing in front him. However the revelation that J'onn was that army general all the time breaks so much of continuity (and just why now did you decide to show up and help and not idk the time Zod invaded and nearly terraformed earth, HELL WHY TF DIDN'T SHOW UP TO HELP THE LEAGUE IF YOU KNEW ABOUT DARKSEID, I'M SORRY TO RAG ON BUT REALLY THIS CAMEO JUST OPENS UP SO MANY QUESTIONS, IT JUST SEEMS LIKE AN "PALPATINE WAS BEHIND THIS ALL ALONG" KIND OF THING ).

In terms of getting a sequel, I am not sure if WB is going to go through with it given that their current vision seems to be a different route than the one Snyder intended so who knows. Despite my criticisms I do believe this is Snyder's best DCEU film to date and probably one of his better films. You could tell that he put in a lot to make this. The movie itself does have issues mostly due to the plot surrounding the motherbox as well as pacing. I would say it's worth the watch at least once, though I think its best to watch it in doses rather than one sitting. Ultimately this is the version that we should have gotten and I can see why so many people who were supportive of Zack wanted or vouched for him to finish it. Regardless, I think the very least I am happy for Snyder. If you like Snyder's previous stuff, you will like this one, if you don't, your perception of the film won't change significantly other than some cool bits here and there.

#dceu #justice league #snydercut #snydercut spoilers #dc comics

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trashbinbackyard · 4 years

Note

basics and environment for gilly and ipes

gals... one wholesome, one not so much

Basics:

1. What is their gender?

Female

2. What is their sexuality?

Panromantic demisexual

Bisexual demiromantic

3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames?

Gesiye Ikande, goes by Gilly a lot. Gesiye means genuine in Ijaw (ethnic group in Nigeria)

Her real name is Nayla Hahn Nayla being Arabic origin and Hahn Korean (her moms’ backgrounds) Though at this point no one knows her real name as she goes by Ipes which is a different spelling for a demon Ipos

4. Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger? Which sibling are they the closest with?

She has two younger sisters. She’s pretty close with both of them, but they live on earth so she sees them rarely

No siblings

5. What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives?

She loves them but being the oldest sister she also kinda fell into that third parent role. She has a pretty big family as her parents also have multiple siblings, they spend holidays all together

She got emancipated at the age of 15 due to her parents not being able to care for her and she refused to enter any kind of foster system. She hasn’t talked to them since, assumes they’re dead

6. What would they give their life for?

Her family for sure

Honestly, nothing. No one comes even near being worth dying for. Neither is her business. If it ever came to it, she’d rather rot in prison than die for it

7. Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet?

Mallory, met her at work. She wanted to wait to become more than just an investigator intern before starting anything but she’s smart and now she’s a fully fledged investigator

No, she has a strict no dating or banging your employees policy and since all the people she has respect for so far are her employees, there’s no one available. Also, she thinks pretty highly of herself so it’s gonna take work for someone be on the level she sees appropriate. (i myself am kinda curious where tf she and kenjiro are gonna end up)

8. What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

She’s not religious, but does believe in some sort of good/bad place, she doesn’t really let it control her life and she tries to be good for the sake of being good (also, being mean is not nice)

No. And since she doesn’t fear life after death she feels free to do whatever the hell she likes

9. What is their favorite color? Favorite animal?

Purple. Any type of antelope, she thinks they’re neat

Black, surprise, but also really likes neon lights (you can guess what type of lights there are in her club). She likes snakes, especially black mambas

10. What are some of their talents/skills?

She’s very resourceful, quick thinking and good writer (of reports at least)

She knows how to read and push people, very conniving, and a great actor

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be?

Idk, she’s just happy to be here

Woman has a drug empire right under law enforcement’s noses

12. How old are they? When is their birthday?

24-29 depending if time is pre-mallory vs relationship

35 (and both for them i really hate coming up with specific dates)

13. What do they do for fun?

Read, swim, enjoy coffee, cuddle with Mallory, watch animal videos

Gamble (she’s cheating), drink, have long ass baths, patrolling her club is work but she enjoys that part of her work a lot

14. What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it?

Something very spicy, veggies, she’s not a huge meat-eater

Due to her past drug abuse, most foods make her nauseous, so her fave is something light like fish

15. What was something their parents taught them?

Be kind and respectful, know your worth and do the dishes

Everyone is own their own

16. Are they religious?

No, spiritual, kinda

17. Where were they born?

Nigeria

Outer rim

18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages?

English and trade

Trade, whatever is the second biggest language on outer rim

19. What is their occupation?

Private investigator

Night club owner (that’s the side hustle to her drug business)

20. Do they have any titles? How did they earn them?

P.I, lots of school and getting a good internship

Word on the street is that she runs the biggest drug ring this side of rim, not officially though. Hard work and lots of blackmailing

Environment:

61. Which season is their favorite season?

Spring, lots of green, but not yet unbearably hot

Whenever her money comes in

62. Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others?

No, doubt she ever will, the bounty hunter (at least the citadel ones) are good people

Since birth honestly, whatever trust she had for her parents wilted away and now she won’t trust anyone unless they’ve proven themselves time and time again

63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile?

Animals, friends, the outdoors, she’s simple, just living the good life

Money, getting what she wants

64. Do they get cold easily? Do they get overheated easily?

She get cold more easily than too hot

Thanks to her metal leg all drastic changes in temperature are felt almost immediately

65. What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick?

She’s got a pretty strong immune system. Doesn’t get sick that much

It’s pretty weak. She often gets flu when it’s the season

66. Where do they live? Do they like it there?

She lives in the citadel, has nice apartment there, she likes it lot

She has carved herself a place on the outer rim, it wasn’t exactly her dream but at this point there’s no place she’d rather be, has multiple apartments scattered around but her main one is on the top floor of her nightclub

67. Is their bedroom messy? What about their bathroom? Kitchen? Living room?

It’s somewhat messy, coffee cups and plates here and there, papers and journals scattered about, the whole house is like that

It’s super neat, she looks after herself. Her suite doesn’t even have a kitchen because she gets her food from the club kitchen

68. How did their environment growing up affect their personality?

Her parents influenced her a lot, she turned out good

Coming from two addicts, becoming one herself and generally being distrustful...

69. How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality?

Wait i thought the previous one was the same question abbgöreghaeh

70. How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets?

Love them! No time for one tho, if she had it’s be a cat

On that note.. I think she has a pet snake in her suite, its got a huge terrarium for it

71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any?

Love them, she’s good with them, she’s definitely the fun big cousin for her small relatives. Doesn’t have any but might want one? She feels she’s too young still

She doesn’t hate them but would rather no kids see her, ever. Doesn’t have any, doesn’t want any

72. Would they rather have stability or comfort?

i mean.... with stability comes comfort. But she’d choose comfort

Stability, life is already one big uncomfort for her to begin with

73. Do they prefer the indoors or outdoors?

Outdoors

Indoors

74. What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms?

Sunny for sure, storms are nice when you’re inside and in a secure place

Loves rain and storms, they also make ppl gather inside more

75. If given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

She’d doodle, they’re not great but i’m Mallory would love whatever she’d draw

If something, she’d draw a middle finger for investigators to find

76. How organized are they?

She keeps her work very neat and packed, everything else, not so much

Very much so, everything is neat and organized and hidden away, that’s key to getting away with doing what she does

77. What is their most prized possession?

Her badge, or a stuffed animal from her home

A single memory card contains mountains of excel sheets, it’s either always on the move and hidden or locked away, never in the same place for longer than a week

78. Who do they consider to be their best friend?

Mallory, she’s sappy like that

Juicebox comes the closest

79. What is their economic situation?

She’s comfortable, not super rich but not going from paycheck to paycheck either

Oh she’s loaded

80. Are they a morning person or a night owl?

Night owl

All the best stuff happens at night in her opinion

#my mom called in the middle of writing this and that took extra 20 mins safohghaeuhb #ipes has a pet snake and it's only slightly disturbing when she feeds it live mice #though from what i know snakes dont need to eat that much they can go for long without a big meal #it's a spoiled little noodle for sure

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deniigi · 5 years

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Any advice on how to stay focused? Whenever I study I get distracted every few minutes and ended up doing something else much longer than studying. This also counts as work as well and really dont want to get in trouble like this

Ooh. Okay, so this might be a hit-or-miss kind of answer, friend. What works for me might not work for you. I’ll give you as many things as I can which help me get/stay on track, but you’ll probably just have to try a load of things to figure out what works best for you!

—–

Motivation/Interest:

So I suppose the first thing I’ve got to say is that if you’re having a hard time focusing, you either might not be in the right head-space to start focusing or not be stimulated enough or in the right ways by the work you’re trying to do. That’s not really anyone’s fault, but knowing that you’re about to sit down and be still and focus for a long period of time can be challenging in terms of getting yourself to stay on task or hell, even start a task.

One of the ways I combat this is by multitasking. Like, I find that I can do something better if I’m doing two things at once. Usually, that’s something like listening to some kind of instrumental music to keep my mood up when I’m researching or writing academic work, but sometimes, when I’m having a fucking rough go of it, I’ll get some knitting or drawing or something and I’ll use a screenreader to read my articles to me. This way, it feels less like work and more like I’m just listening to a podcast.

If you’re studying for something that requires you to spit facts back at it (like, idk, chemistry or highschool exams or smth) then studying in groups where you can just have a conversation about the material might be helpful in terms of making the work feel less like work.

Power Hours:

I have power hours. I work best between 1pm and 5pm. After 6 or 7 in the evening, my attention and writing quality and just generally my critical thinking skills drop the fuck off. My quality of work goes down by like 50% at least.

My colleague, on the other hand, can only work from 8am to 3pm. My partner works best almost exclusively from 11pm to 2am.

I feel like we’ve all got this period of time when we’re able to focus better than we do in the space around it. Figuring out your own power hours might help you plan your day around your work. You might just be forcing yourself to do things earlier or later than your brain wants, so maybe try moving your schedule around a bit if you can.

Timer:

For certain tasks, I give myself a time limit because I know that I have a tendency to go ham on tasks that don’t require it or not start tasks if I think they don’t have an urgency to them.

This helps me moderate the amount of time I’m spending on a single task and it also makes me go ‘oh, well, thirty minutes to answer emails. Pft. I can do that. That’s no problem. There’s only 4 emails.’ and then just like that the emails are out of the way and I’ve actually got more time in my day.

So yeah, a timer might help you break tasks up into more manageable chunks. Don’t be too strict with yourself if you use one, though. You’re human, the timer is not.

Reward System:

I reward myself for every bit of work that I successfully complete. I am essentially a complicated dog. I do the trick, I get the treat. Once I am done with the treat, I am ready to do another trick.

Treats for me are things like making a cup of tea, poking around the internet, watching a funny video, etc. etc.

If I do a really big thing which requires intense focus for many hours, I’ll reward myself with something a little bigger. I.e. A nice dinner. A trinket or a walk or a bit of shopping or smth at the end of the day/week.

All work should be rewarded, even in small increments throughout the day, even when you’re the one doing the rewarding. Be kind to yourself!

Additionally, treats give you a goal to work towards! (i.e. I will do one hour of reading, then I can have!! A snack!! I am excited for the snack! Let’s do this reading!!)

(Also don’t deny yourself things as a punishment for not completing tasks. Fuck that. Nah. Positive reinforcement is almost always a better teacher than punishment.)

Avoiding Overload:

You might be getting distracted because you have a thousand things you have to do and you’re thinking about them while you’re trying to do that one thing. You might also be experiencing some executive dysfunction, anxiety, depression, etc which might be eating into your drive to focus on a task.

There are loads of layered reasons why focusing/doing work is hard sometimes and even often.

When I get to this point, I break down tasks. I try not to give myself more than 3 tasks to do per day because I find that I can usually manage 3 tasks, even on a bad day. This way, I don’t feel so overloaded and I feel like I’m making progress, even when things are looming on the horizon.

Like, okay, you can panic-study or cram for a test, or you can re-read your notes one day, flick through the lecture notes the next day, and then plan out an essay you might write the next day and none of that should take more than 30 min to an hour, so by the time the test rolls around, you can be chill in the knowledge that you have studied, you just haven’t crammed.

I realize that this involves some planning and time-management skills that we aren’t really encouraged culturally to learn (and for whatever reason, a lot of people think it’s cool to procrastinate and cram-study or write), but when it comes to like, being kind to yourself and giving yourself the time you need to complete a larger task and actually learn from that experience, it really is an essential skill to learn.

Taking Breaks:

I take a lot of breaks. I take a break at least every hour. Usually every 40-50 min when I’m working. Otherwise I’ll burn myself out and I won’t be able to prolong my researching/studying. This acts as a reset and a treat (see above. I am still a complicated dog), so that you can process the material that you’re thinking about. For this, I wouldn’t go more than 10-20 min, depending on the task you just completed (the bigger the task, the longer the break.)

But yeah. Work doesn’t have to be continuous. If continuous work doesn’t work for your brain, don’t force it to. It’s just gonna leave you frustrated and unmotivated.

—–

So yeah, anon. This is what I’ve got. I’m sure others have some good recs too.

Mostly, the way I approach focusing and productivity is by trying to be as empathetic and kind to myself as I can be within the confines of the task at hand. I don’t really ascribe to ideas about working yourself to the bone or forcing yourself to do something your body and brain don’t want to do.

It’s all about finding the rhythms and contexts that suit you. So like, try:

listening to certain types of music during a task

changing your method of study (i.e. listening to the material instead of reading it, playing games, making maps, pictures, etc)

making a list of 3 tasks you will complete in the day/study session

giving yourself little things and breaks to work towards

moving yourself to a new place to change your environment (perhaps go to the library or to a cafe or something and study there if you have a hard time focusing at home)

maybe even find something to fidget with in your hands

Anyways, I hope this gives you something to work with and I encourage folks to leave other strategies in the comments!

#writing advice #long post #if lack of focus happens to you consistently anon #you might also take it up with your doc!#while I'm not saying that all lack of focus stems from mental health issues or neurodivergency if these things are underlying your struggles #then you can and should absolutely get specialized help for them!

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deeeepsteep · 5 years

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Tbh when I think about lycanthropy and werewolves, I think about it like the stages to a disease

Read More because I put way too much thought into this

I know most folklore says that lycanthropy is more of a curse, but idk I always liked the idea of it being a disease, something contagious and mutated that latches onto your body and becomes a part of you whether you like it or not

Though...I think it originated hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago as a curse - maybe someone did something terribly wrong and was turned into a wolf as punishment, and that person found out that it could ‘infect’ others by biting or scratching them. Maybe this person was a complete dick who lacked self-awareness and didn’t learn from their mistakes, so they decided to fuck things up even more by intentionally infecting other people, which helped spread the disease. So maybe it is a curse???? Maybe it’s some weird mix of the two???? Idk lmao

My version of lycanthropy comes in three stages:

Man-Wolf/Untrue Werewolves

Common Werewolves/Halflings

True Werewolves

All three stages can be seen as variations or different “versions/mutations” of the same virus. Sort of like how a cold has different symptoms, if that makes any sense???

Now, humans aren’t as smart as actual wolves, and humans love to make things harder for themselves so the difference in stages have given some of them an entitlement of some sorts, which gives way to a sort of...werewolf racism????? There’s no existing word for it so I’m just gonna go with that lmao - humans love to discriminate against each other and this “werewolf tier” gives them another reason to treat each other like shit, because humans are terrible like that. They see the different stages as a hierarchy of some sort, with Untrue Werewolves on the bottom, Common Werewolves in the middle, and True Werewolves on top. More on that in a bit.

They all have a bunch of common traits, but they stand out on their own. Their common traits are things found in many werewolf-related folklore:

Speed-healing - I read that this has been a trait in werewolf lore for hundreds of years so it seemed imperative that this interpretation had it too. Bruises and cuts go away in seconds, even if there’s internal bleeding or if it’s a really deep cut. Bones that normally take weeks to heal will mend themselves in mere minutes, which can be a good and bad thing. You’ll have to set the bone as quickly as possible or else they will mend the wrong way, which means you’ll have to re-break the bone and set it again. It also takes a lot of strength and power to break werewolf bones; humans can’t do it on their own, so if you can cause a fracture that must mean you’re either very strong or you know very powerful magic!

High Body Temperature - A healthy werewolf will run about 110 degrees Farenheit in both their human and transformed forms. For humans, that’s an extremely high fever that can cause permanent brain damage and even death. Werewolves have a significantly higher body temperature due to two things: Their speed-healing, and their human immune system working harder to fend off the werewolf virus. They make great space heaters, so if you’re cold and your heater’s broken, cuddle a werewolf!

Heightened Senses/Abilities - Common and True Werewolves retain their heightened abilities in their human forms, while Untrue Werewolves only have them when they’ve transformed. A werewolf’s nose can smell things up to 5 miles away - that’s almost twice as strong as a regular wolf! They can see very well in the dark; since Common and True Werewolves retain their night vision in their human form, they have reflectors in their eyes (Also an easy way to spot a Common or True Werewolf). Their hearing is ultra-sensitive, and they also possess superhuman strength and agility; True Werewolves can cover dozens of miles within minutes.

Transformation Under A Full Moon - This is a given. Whenever there’s a full moon, you transform, no matter what stage of lycanthropy you’re in. At night, once you see the full moon, your transformation begins. Full moons generally last between 3 to 4 days, but werewolves only stay in their transformed state at night. Once dawn hits, they’re human again - but when night falls and the moon is visible again, back into werewolf form they go! However, during the day of a full moon, they are noticeably more irritable (Scroll down a bit more to read up on Moon Sickness).

Weakness Against Silver - I know this is more of a pop culture thing, but I noticed in folklore werewolves don’t really have any traditional weaknesses, thus making them technically invincible - and I find that really boring tbh. Everyone has a weakness. When werewolves are attacked with a silver weapon, their wounds take longer to heal. If you’re a werewolf and your attacker breaks your arm with a silver hammer, guess what? Your bones will take weeks, not seconds to heal!!!! If a silver weapon breaks through skin and causes an open wound, it will leave a scar once it heals. Werewolves with plenty of scars are often revered in the werewolf community; you’re the toughest of the tough if you’re adorned with them! As of right now, silver is the only known way to kill a werewolf.

Post-Transformation Amnesia - Present in Untrue and Common Werewolves. Most werewolves have little to no recollection of what they were doing during a full moon, or when they’re in a transformed state. This is due to their human selves essentially dissolving when they transform.

Moon Sickness/Phasing Sickness - Moon Sickness happens with every kind of werewolf. Their bodies can sense an impending full moon, which triggers the human immune system to work harder than usual to resist the werewolf virus. It’s common for werewolves to experience chronic fatigue, insomnia, irritable mood (More irritable than usual), and even flu-like symptoms in the days preceding a full moon and during the days of a full moon. True Werewolves not only experience Moon Sickness, but also Phasing Sickness; they experience Moon Sickness symptoms when they haven’t phased in awhile. Unlike their Untrue and Common counterparts, they experience these symptoms because their wolf half is getting restless from being dormant for too long, rather than their human bodies fighting against the werewolf virus.

Insatiable Appetites - Werewolves LOVE to eat. They have insanely high metabolisms, so they need to eat large portions of food to keep up their strength - however, that doesn’t mean there aren’t out of shape werewolves! Soft round werebois exist out there. They just eat way more than other werewolves do, which is probably tonnes.

Sensory Overload - Having heightened senses is great and all, but it’s overwhelming for many Common Werewolves, especially for those who’ve been bitten recently. Their human bodies simply cannot handle the wolf’s sensitive nose, ears, and eyes. It gets so overwhelming that some werewolves look for ways to “dull” these senses so they’re easier to bear. Unfortunately, this means that a lot of Common Werewolves succumb to substance addiction. Drug and alcohol abuse is a sad common reality for many Common Werewolves. Smoking cigarettes is a common vice for the werewolf community, as it’s seen as the “least harmful” addiction; their speed healing is capable of eating up any harmful chemicals before they’re able to infect their cells, thus preventing them from multiplying and spreading, and it doesn’t affect their stamina. This means they’re immune to cancer and other serious diseases (If a human with cancer is bitten, their cancer will be cured...but it obviously comes with a heavy price).

Longevity: Werewolves aren’t immortal, but they can live for a very long time if they take care of themselves and avoid getting attacked with silver as much as they possibly can. Their lifespan is way longer than a human’s; the oldest recorded werewolf lived for over 800 years.

Loss of Humanity During Transformation: Untrue and Common Werewolves lose their human minds in their transformed state, making them incredibly dangerous. They cannot tell the difference between friend and foe, and they’ll attack anyone who stands too close.

A little more detail on the three stages of lycanthropy:

The “Man-Wolf”, or “Untrue Werewolves”

One becomes an Untrue Werewolf when they are scratched, not bitten, by another Untrue Werewolf, a Common Werewolf, or a True Werewolf.

They look more like the old-school werewolves you see in movies like the Wolf Man, Teen Wolf, I Was A Teenage Werewolf, and the American Werewolf series. They’re more human-shaped, peppered with wolf-life traits: They have a lot more hair than the average human, their nails are longer and more claw-like, their eyes retain their human shape but they may change colour (Not all wolves have yellow or orange eyes, they can be brown too). They possess the classic werewolf traits - superhuman strength, heightened senses, speed healing - but only when it’s a full moon and they have transformed (So if you get a boo-boo in human form, it’ll heal like a regular wound; you’ll have to wait for the full moon in order for the healing process to speed up). Otherwise, they’re your average-looking person, and if you didn’t know they were infected you probably would never be able to guess.

Untrue Werewolves are only able to transform when there’s a full moon; their mood or other environmental factors do not influence a transformation. The transformation process is gradual but relatively painless, as the only things that really change are the amount of hair, the length of the nails, the formation of the teeth, and, depending on the individual, the colour of the eyes.

There are known small pockets of Untrue Werewolf “packs”, but for the most part Untrue Werewolves prefer working alone. That being said, the few packs that do exist band together because they have an unwavering hatred for Common and True Werewolves. They’re often seen as the very bottom of the “werewolf hierarchy”, and many werewolves do not consider them part of their community, hence the Untrue Werewolf title. Since they’re the least “wolfy-looking” and only possess wolf-like traits when the full moon is out, they’re often looked down upon, or not taken seriously. Desperate to prove themselves, and to show others that they count as werewolves, some have gone as far as deliberately scratching and/or biting humans for the sole purpose of adding more to their ranks. Unlike Common and True Werewolves, Untrue Werewolves do not have enough of the “werewolf virus” in their system to transform a human into a Common Werewolf via biting them, so their bites will merely turn them into another Untrue Werewolf.

However, it is possible to “advance” to a Common Werewolf if an Untrue Werewolf is bitten by a Common Werewolf or a True Werewolf, but unsurprisingly, most Untrue Werewolves go out of their way to ensure that doesn’t happen. There are some who willingly seek out a Common Werewolf or True Werewolf so they can get deliberately bitten, but these are few and far in between. For the most part, Untrue Werewolves are stubborn and proud beings who just want to be respected for who they are. They just want to be loved!!!!!!!

The Common Werewolf, or Halfing

These funky dudes are the most common kind of werewolf, hence the name. In order to become one, you must be bitten, not scratched, by another True Werewolf.

They look more like your “classic werewolf” aka a wolf that stands on two legs, with hands instead of paws. They’re huge, with the smallest recorded werewolf measuring a little over 7 feet. Their forearms are stronger than their back legs and it shows in their posture; they’re often hunched over, with their thick arms hanging by their sides in an ape-like stance. Fur colour varies, just like any wolf coat does. Same with the eyes. The noises they emit are similar to Untrue Werewolves, but are significantly more animalistic. They retain their heightened abilities, including speed healing and night vision, in their human form.

Common Werewolves are notorious for being incredibly violent and hot-tempered in both their wolf and human forms. The smallest inconvenience can set them off, to the point where it can force them to transform unexpectedly, and a Common Werewolf doesn’t discriminate when it comes to their rage, meaning they’ll attack anyone who is in close range - including loved ones. The transformation process is extremely painful for Common Werewolves because their bones and internal organs shift around as they mutate from human to werewolf. Shifting back to human form is just as painful.

Many Common Werewolves detest their wolfy state and dread or even fear transforming. This resistance only makes the virus within them more volatile, rendering them vulnerable to more unexpected transformations and violent outbursts.

Although they are considered the middle tier of the werewolf hierarchy, both Untrue and True Werewolves look down upon Common Werewolves for their brutish behaviour. They’re often seen as the “dumbest” and most “goon-like” of the community, but they are still regarded as “more werewolf” than Untrue Werewolves. However, these stereotypes are mostly untrue, as Common Werewolves are fully capable of planning and executing elaborate hunting and battle strategies, and there are some who are capable of controlling their anger. Unlike their Untrue counterparts, they prefer living, hunting, and attacking in packs.

Halfling is a common colloquial term for them, but most aren’t fond of the name, as they feel it makes them sound like an incomplete being. If you want to piss off a Common Werewolf, call them a Halfling - but most would strongly advise against it!

True Werewolves

The highest tier in the werewolf hierarchy, and also the most rare; there are less than 3% of recorded True Werewolves, though it is very likely there are many more. One cannot become a True Werewolf by a scratch or a bite; it takes weeks, sometimes months or years of physical and mental preparation.

It’s unknown how the first True Werewolf came about, but the most commonly accepted tale is at least 1000 years old and speaks of a Common Werewolf who was left for dead in the deep woods after being attacked by a coven with silver daggers. As she lay in a pool of her own blood, she began to hear voices that whispered things to her such as accepting change and reaching her full potential. Interpreting these messages as a sign of making peace with the end of her life and accepting her fate, she closes her eyes, ready to pass onto the next life - only to wake up moments later, fully healed, and in the form of a wolf.

Picture the werewolves/shapeshifters from Twilight, except not as gigantic. True Werewolves, when in wolf form, look exactly like a real wolf, with the exception of enhanced senses, strength, speed, and speed healing. They are able to shift back and forth between their human and wolf forms at will, and the transformation process is seamless and painless. Transforming only takes mere seconds - they actually prefer the term phasing as opposed to transformation or mutation. It has been described as morphing or “melting”; however, when angered, scared, or under a full moon, the transformation is more volatile (But still painless), often described as “exploding” into their wolf forms. Like their Common counterparts, they retain their enhanced abilities in their human form, but unlike their Common and Untrue counterparts, they retain their sentient minds when transformed/phased (Except during a Blood Moon - more on that later). They’re able to discriminate between friend and foe in their wolfy state, and True Werewolves usually prefer keeping to themselves, so they’re the least harmless out of the three werewolf types. They are way more docile than their Untrue and Common counterparts, however some may still be prone to angry outbursts if provoked enough.

So how does one become a True Werewolf? It’s hard to explain. The very few True Werewolves that are known to exist have difficulty describing the process. Many of them have “accidentally” turned into True Werewolves; one True Werewolf described his experience as waking up one day and being overcome with a feeling of “wholeness, completeness, like I’ve finally found this missing part of me that I didn’t know I was searching for”.

Achieving True Werewolf status is a matter of quelling the perpetual conflict between a werewolf’s human half and their wolf half. Common Werewolves are constantly at war with their animalistic instincts and impulses, which causes them to act out with violence. True Werewolves accept that they are two different beings within the same vessel, and that they are not “more human than wolf” or vice versa; they are equal parts human and wolf. A True Werewolf’s human immune system no longer sees the werewolf genes as a virus that needs to be fought off, so the two halves intertwine and form a completely new genetic makeup, finally collaborating instead of butting heads.

This is a very difficult concept for many Common Werewolves to handle, especially when lycanthropy is highly stigmatized and most of them have been raised to fear or detest lycanthropes. This internalized hatred makes it very difficult for many werewolves to accept lycanthropy as a part of themselves and refuse to believe that this is a lifelong condition. The constant resistance only makes them more volatile, which increases public stigma, so it’s kind of like a self-destructive cycle. True Werewolves find a way to break out of that cycle - in other words, they know what werewolf self-love and self-care is and they’ve embraced it fully!

Like Common Werewolves, True Werewolves have the pack mentality - which is crucial for them, since so few of them exist. In wolf form, they’ll look like an ordinary wolf pack, and they’ll usually behave as such as to not attract werewolf hunters or any other predator (Witches, demons, vampires...literally nobody likes werewolves, it’s pretty sad).

True Werewolves are often revered in the werewolf community, as they are hard to come by, and their self-acceptance is greatly admired. However, there are very, very few True Werewolves (Remember, only less than 3% of them are recorded to have ever exist) who look down on anything that isn’t like them, and refuse to interact with Common and Untrue Werewolves. Fortunately, “bad” True Werewolves are very few and far in between!

Lycanthropy In Society

Like many other interpretations out there, this interpretation of lycanthropy is condemned, exiled, stigmatized...you name it. Most people aren’t fond of werewolves. though their hatred towards them is mostly born out of ignorance and fear than genuine hatred. It’s a given that humans act hostile towards things they don’t fully understand, and so this is how they approach lycanthropes. Many of them have a very limited understanding of what lycanthropy is about and only accept what they’ve heard through word of mouth, aka urban legend and exaggerated recounts of encounters with lycanthropes. For the most part, the world sees werewolves as violent, out of control, savage, disorganized, and primitive. This means there aren’t a lot of opportunities for them - jobs, friends, romantic relationships, etc.

There are groups of werewolf hunters whose sole purpose is to hunt werewolves into extinction. They can be literally anyone - human, goblin, demon, vampire, witch or warlock - and many groups have grown fame and notoriety for killing packs and packs of werewolves simply for being werewolves.

However, there are some people out there who do want to learn more about lycanthropy and have gone so far as lived with werewolf packs to gain a better understanding of them. Pro-lycanthrope scientists have teamed up with lycanthropes (And lycanthropes who are scientists) to try and come up with a cure to lycanthropy, or at least a medicine of some sort that’ll help Common and Untrue Werewolves retain their humanity while in their transformed state. Contrary to popular belief, wolfsbane isn’t an effective ingredient, and there currently isn’t a cure to lycanthropy.

Lycanthropy isn’t inheritable. One can only become infected with the virus if they’re bitten or scratched, so if two werewolves decide to start a family their children will be free of the virus - but, unsurprisingly, many children of werewolf parents want to become a lycanthrope so they can be like them. Many werewolves are against the idea, as they believe their children can have a clean slate and live the life they never had.

Werewolf Alphas?

Many people have a common misconception about wolf packs and pack behaviour. Alphas aren’t necessarily the leader of the pack, and they don’t actually have this reigning authority over the group. Rather, wolf alphas - and there is a female alpha and a male alpha for each pack, not just one lone male alpha - act more as parental figures...most likely because their pack consists of them and their children, rather than a band of random, unrelated wolves.

But humans aren’t that smart. Humans, by nature, desire power and control - and that reflects in werewolf pack behaviour. Werewolves need an alpha. They need someone to listen to, someone to guide them - especially Common Werewolves. In a werewolf pack, there is only one alpha, though gender isn’t a determining factor. A werewolf alpha isn’t necessarily the strongest or most dominant of the pack. An alpha must be street smart, they must know how to properly plan and execute hunting strategies. An alpha is a leader because they know how to lead with respect, and they see their fellow pack members as a cohesive unit rather than a hierarchy. They do not see themselves as above pack law, or “higher” than the other pack members. They see the pack as equal members of a group with their individual sets of strengths and weaknesses, and they have a gift for figuring out how to use everyone’s strengths to the advantage of the group. Earning the position of alpha comes with a lot of respect and trust, though there are very few True Werewolves who abuse this position of power (Like I mentioned earlier, humans aren’t as smart).

There are werewolf betas and gammas who serve as second and third in command to the alpha. Betas and gammas are usually the muscle of the group; they’re the strongest, physically speaking, and when they travel in wolf form they’re are often seen at the head and tail of every pack (Alpha and gamma in front, beta in the back) so that they keep a watchful eye on the other wolves and potential enemies.

What Happens During A Blood Moon?

A blood moon is another term for when the moon is in total eclipse. It takes on a distinguish reddish colour, hence the name.

Blood Moons are one of the worst times in any werewolf’s life. There isn’t a scientific explanation for it yet, but blood moons make werewolves even more agitated, violent, and explosive than usual. Even True Werewolves can’t resist the pull of a blood moon; they will turn violent and lose their human minds. Werewolves stay in their wolf forms even during the day of a blood moon, and they are unable to change back until the moon is back to normal.

So you have a bunch of feral-like Untrue, Common, and True Werewolves running around and destroying everything they see. It’s not fun for anyone.

What About A Wolf Moon? A Super Moon? A Harvest Moon?

The full moon in January is commonly referred to as the Wolf Moon. A Super Moon is - you guessed it - when the moon is gigantic. During these phases, a werewolf’s senses are heightened and they find that their strength is at least doubled. They can run twice as fast and hit twice as hard.

A Harvest Moon is the full moon closest to the autumnal equinox. The same applies to Wolf and Super Moons - they’re stronger, but strangely enough...they’re a lot more hungry. Werewolves have a big appetite to begin with, but during a Harvest Moon they’re hungrier than usual. Werewolves in rural areas have been known to steal entire fields of crops and livestock. In a sense, the Harvest Moon is like a werewolf Thanksgiving!

What about a Super Blood Wolf Moon?

Feral-like werewolves with double the strength and speed running around everywhere that have absolutely no control over themselves? Have fun!

#werewolf #werewolves #lycanthropy #my stuff

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majorcdanvers · 5 years

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Name: jade Zodiac: Sagittarius Personality Type: INFP-T Appearance: Brown/blonde hair, pale af, my eyes are like greeny-brown?? Idk. Personality: kinda extroverted but my personality type is introverted so I guess a bit of both?? I like to think I’m pretty nice😂. Sexuality: bi bi bi boo💗💜💙 Extra info: my hobbies are literally just Netflix and reading tbh😂, my fave subject was French lmao, I still know some 💁🏻‍♀️. (I’m gonna send the fandoms in a separate post there’s a limit on here)

Fandoms:- MCU (yee yee) (preferably the avengers but if u think anyone else then go with them boo) Mr Robot (my mind is still fuuuuucked from that bish u don’t even know) Harry Potter (Maurauders or golden era I don’t mind🤷🏻‍♀️) Bohemian Rhapsody (mama UWUUUUU) THANK U ASHLEY ILY BOO💙💁🏻‍♀️💗💞

alright boo, here goes a hella long post !

no.1 steve rogers with a beard

steve is such a sweetheart and a good man, which are good characteristics in a man. steve is able to bring you back to earth when your dreams are taking you up into the clouds & steve’s well dressed mannerisms are something you appreciate. the warmth, sensitivity and kindness you both have brings you both close together although conflicts in your relationship may be stunted by both of your stubborness not to talk about it. steve enjoys making decisions for your relationships and usually your happy to let him do as he does, although steve sometimes finds you too passive and casual with your indecisiveness. although the two of you may have different approaches to life, you will both come to love and see what each other has to offer.

headcannons

steve is very soft and sweet with you. he doesn’t want you to see the superhero part of him, to keep that part away from a good relationship as much as he can.

he can’t hide his job from you, publicly being recognized and being from the 1950s, but he wants to keep the danger of his job as far from you as he can.

he appreciates that your not as obsessed as half the world seems to be with the avengers and that you don’t mind that you don’t know his colleagues like he does.

neither of you are bulletproof, after all.

you have met a couple of them at tony stark’s parties, which just being able to say you’ve been to a tony stark party makes all your co-workers scream, so you feel like you’ve done your job there.

steve is all for the classy dating he was used to back in the day. taking you to a movie in nice clothes and going to eat a diner where the two of you can drink milkshakes and dip your fries into them.

and then dropping you off at your doorstep and sneaking a kiss before someone catches you.

he’s very much 1950s dating, always a gentleman and makes sure to do the right and proper thing when people were watching. one time you kissed him on the lips without warning in a mall and he gasped so loud you thought he was going to have a heart attack.

he’s just… a big puppy dog and you love him so much, ugh, especially with that beard. you urge him strongly not to shave it off because it just looks so good.

no. 2 angela moss

you and angela are attracted by the differences in your energy levels, as angela appreciates your calm and steady demeanor and you enjoy her hearty and bubbly personality. between everything that has happened with the alderson’s, her father’s death and the 5/9 attack angela appreciates the active ear from you to listen to her rants. and you enjoy the social leadership angela has, always introducing you to her friends, co-workers and elliot. she always seems to believe that the two of you will be best friends. with your views on the decaying world in similar views, the two of you find a close chemistry in the topics you discuss.

headcannons

angela and you had been close friends for a long time because of allsafe cybersecurity and had always been very adamantly straight but something in you allowed her to see that maybe she wasn’t as straight as she thought.

she decided to explore this territory of being someone she wasn’t in an unharmful way to you. asking you to lunches and parties just to see if anything happened.

after a while her heart would start to beat much faster than normal and her hands got really clammy and nervous.

even though she was the extroverted one, you were the one to ask her out. seeing her struggle with herself, asking her, if she was comfortable, if she wanted to go to the movies with you. as… something more than friends.

after the first date, she gave you a quick peck on the lips before running off to the subway, wishing you a good night.

the next monday, she was still awkward and blushed a lot around you. even her best friend elliot kept making eyes at you, working harder than he usually had at his job. you had never spoken to elliot because he seemed to rather be on his own but this day kept getting weirder and weider.

eventually, angela came around and told you how much she enjoyed the date the two of you had with a huge grin, and you were relieved that she hadn’t regretted it after all.

it had been seven months later when the 5/9 attack had come down on everyone and the two of you had been going strong. you had even had a few conversations with elliot that were enjoyable.

after the failure of the economy, angela was glad to have you. someone she was able to talk to without feeling pressured or uncomfortable.

no.3 remus lupin

you and remus would take refuge in each other, being able to take downtime away from your social lives together. since the two of you grow to be so comfortable with each other, your privacy sphere is extended to remus where you don’t feel the pressure to talk or be anything as you do in society. the two of you also inspire each other, as you are highly creative and remus delights in taking part in your creative passions. while remus is creative as well, he enjoys having you there to focus and interpret his readings. you both are also hopeless romantics, even in a world of war and fear. remus is also able to help you cope as a faux therapist through all the tragedies that happen around you. the two of you work so well together that it seems odd to call you anything but soulmates.

headcannons

remus always took comfort in you. you were probably one of the most relaxed people he met at hogwarts. with sirus and james always wanting to prank and sneak out and peter always being paranoid.

he took pleasure in the quiet nature you had. being able to study together in the library without much interruption or the need to be constantly doing something against the system.

the two of you were relationship goals. able to pull off being in separate houses and teenagers. you didn’t sneak around to be together and were wholesomely good with each other.

everyone loved it and felt like you were the most popular couple in the school.

no.4 john deacon / joe mazzello

the two of you are both soft and sweet. you’re able to spend small amounts of time together without feeling neglected that he’s on tour or you’re not with him. there’s always calls and letters and you always feel fulfilled with him. especially with him there.

headcannons

uwu, i don’t know what to put lmao

no.5 cheryl blossom

cheryl is all hard edges but you are able to soften them. the two of you are two opposites attract, but the one singular thing keeping you together is the way you are able to talk to one another through your inspirations, although cheryl has more of a single minded focus on her popularity while yours is branched out to multiple things. you were attracted by cheryl blossom first, but who wouldn’t be, as she was a strong woman who took charge even after her brother’s death. cheryl later was drawn in by your gentle nature and how easily you listen to her.

cheryl asked you out after seeing love, simon and coming to terms with her sexuality. although, you asked her to keep it on the down low since your parents didn’t know that you were gay.

she smiled and accepted it as a challenge. so, while at school she was a little more affectionate with you and kind but it was nothing more than flirty comments she gave anyone and not being an absolute bitch to you.

sometimes the two of you would skip class to makeout in the bathroom… or behind the bleachers… or in your car.

and only kevin knew of your secret relationship and was really sweet and supportive (and cheryl threaten to cut his dick off if he told anyone).

but the longer your relationship was kept under wraps, the closer someone got to the truth of the matter. especially with betty and jughead with their noses in everyone’s business.

it ended with the masked man getting to you, and almost killing you before, bless their souls, betty and jughead stumbled upon the sight and the masked man ended up ditching.

you were close to passing out, as he had been choking you, and did just before asking for cheryl.

betty and jughead ended up taking you to thornhill where cheryl took you in and closed the doors in their faces.

when you woke up, cheryl was there, blotting your head with a wet towel and smiling softly. you both talked for a long while and the next day at school you came out to your friends on dating cheryl and she paraded you around the school excitedly.

#marvel #marvel ships #marvel ship #mcu #mcu ships #mcu ship #mr. robot #mr. robot ships #harry potter #harry potter ship #harry potter ships #riverdale #riverdale ship #riverdale ships #*mine #*ships #*answered

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survivor-mesopotamia · 4 years

Text

Ep. #2 - “Shit ain’t over till the fat lady sings and I didn’t warm my pipes.” (Cameron)

Day 4: Well. I survived my first tribal council of the season, and even though it went exactly according to plan, while I slept my entire day away, I'm still really hesitant to tell myself that I'm doing well on my tribe. I'm really nervous that my tribe mates are playing me, and that I'm really boo boo tha fool here. I called Megan post-tribal, and I was finally able to get some closure on something that happened between us in our personal lives, which felt really good. After that, she asked me about the idol, to which I had responded "Wait, Julian didn't tell you?", which hopefully sows some seeds of doubt in Megan about Julian. Ideally, if the Enlil tribe has to go back to tribal council, the four of us can bear witness to a Megan vs. Julian war. Because unfortunately, the connections I have outside Enlil, are shared with either Julian or Megan. If Megan and Julian are going after each other pre-merge, or during a swap scenario, I don't have to share those connections anymore. After that, Megan and I just talked about the nudes we received during quarantine ~ I then promptly ran to Will to tell him about the potential crack I just formed between Julian and Megan, which was met with genuine excitement. I think I'm really gaining Will's trust, and I think we vibe so well together. Love that guy! Overall, it wasn't a very productive day because I woke up at 4:30p PST. Love that for me, thanks for shading me @ Tribal Bodhi.

going into this scavenger hunt as the tribe that went to tribal last is worrysome. It's a challenge that's fully dependent on our activity, so we are at a serious disadvantage against the other two tribes that get to choose someone less active to sit out. We don't have that luxury. The point/life system eases the blow, however, since we can get less active players 1 life while more active players can get 3. In case we lose, I'm trying to connect with everyone on the tribe. I really don't want to vote anyone out though. I have an alliance with Julian and JJ, and one with Will on the side. Chrissa wants to work with Julian, JJ and myself, and I think Megan and JJ have something on the side. I'm nervous for who would be the target in the vote, and any vote would hurt all of our games collectively. Hopefully we win because the next vote will not be easy AT ALL.

Done w typing this sheet

youtube

jj and zachary are so fucking annoying to this challenge and if i vote for you first at the swap, its probably because youre typing too much during this challenge sorry not sorry xoxo - sincerely johnny a month from now

let me be clear with andrew I was not calling his hosting unfair i was calling the fact that a majority green item giving him a point unfair not the hosting but lack of yellow, also i have a headache i don't feel that good. and I just don't think zach should have had a point for it nothing against hosting obviously i watch a movie trivia thing where literally they have a challenge to challenge any questions that are unfair, that doesn't mean they are calling the question writers or the answer writers unfair.

Zach just won the tribal challenge for us which is fantastic. We can maintain the illusion of a unified tribe longer, which keeps us together in a swap situation, and Zach has clearly painted a challenge target on himself over the last two challenges which will make him go before me if our Triforce ever becomes the minority. I'm really happy with my position in the game right now

youtube

me and monty trying to find the idol and decode this annoying ass video https://imgur.com/a/lu7sbMu

Forgive me father for I have sinned it's been approximately three days since my last confession so far can't complain really we be winning they hating we be riding pretty damn clean I've got a majoritu alliance I didn't start so odds of it falling around me and being the first voted out slim to none thank the sweet baby jesis and all that good shit. Oh well that's all for now

JULIAN’S HOST CHAT GUEST, ZEE:

I am filling in a confessional because you told me to. I am in front of my fan because it's hot. I'm thinking that it seems pretty stupid to ask me for a confessional. Julian's prod chat isn't very interesting because he's distracted.

youtube

also just threw out madison's name to johnny. if this shit backfires on me ill be ):

https://youtu.be/Pqck1gayfJU

https://youtu.be/FMay7NycsPw

yo yo yo homies!!! fuck the scavenger hunt and the mobile Skype app !! Lowkey scared but I think I’m close with everyone on the tribe except madi soooooooooo that’s probably who will go tonight. I’ve connected a lot with Monty and am hoping we can work together closely moving forward 💕not sure how useful my relationship with Zach is going to be come swap/merge bc it seems like he’s ALREADY making himself a target like the big doof he is. More later 💋

https://youtu.be/Qg47yupj1bQ

https://youtu.be/vUK8A1qWVoA

Hello tumblr survivor world! Sorry I didnt confess for episode 1, I was going to but i accidentally exited out of the page when i almost finished writing it. Anyways, it was just a cast assessment for my tribe so tl;dr everyone on my tribe is great and its really sad that we have to vote someone out now. So this whole weekend I was away so I was REALLY worried that I would be voted out since I sat out of the challenge. But after talking to Johnny and Isabelle, it seems like Madison will be voted out tonight. Which is so bad bc this her first game in a year, but hey it's our first vote and it's not me so it's not really the time to make a stand. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Okay I took a break from writing this confessional and there's moreeeeeeeee so part 2 I guess. So I had a call with Johnny and we came up with an alliance of me, him, Isabelle, and Benji. What an iconic alliance, right? But also while Johnny and I talked we got onto the topic of idols and why it is that there hasn't been an idol post yet. I brought up that wayyyyyy back when in Malaysia and some other games around that time, some of the idol hunts were less clear cut. We ended up looking at the blog and clicking the "idol system" tab and it brought us to some weird crab video with audio that sounds like a pokemon cry? Idk part of me thinks its just a joke but I also have to consider that it might be SOMETHING. It said remember to like and subscribe so I sent a screenshot of me liking and subscribing to see if that would do anything but nope. Johnny said he'd do some thinking about it and get back to me later if he figures something out. Also tribal seems super clear cut so I'm a bit less worried now but y'know how it is I can't not worry about tribal.

i just spent $8 on a spectogram and STILL cant find this fucking idol im gonna kms... monty im sorry im steam rolling ahead looking for this thing without telling you, but thank you for the first clue xoxo... if i get stumped in the future ill reach out for SURE (but idt you trust me that much so this seems kinda valid to me) ((FOUR HOURS LATER: i told monty lololol)) ALSO FOR FUCKS SAKE I think madison is gonna go, and truthfully, im fine with it because it's the easiest thing to do due to her poor performance in the past few challenges and just being the least AROUND the tribe, but i know that it'd probably be better for me long term to get rid of abby because i just dont see her as a long term ally for me. i think she's close to JJ and Megan on the other tribe, and she's becoming much more acclimated to the tumblr survivor community that i just BET that she maybe has an additional connection on the rookie tribe. If I can attempt to break that up before we get to a swap, I think that's what im going to have to do figure out if we lose another challenge before a swap... i dont really want to see ANYBODY else go besides abby if im thinking about a second boot. i bet it wont be easy to take her out tho also, if madison goes, this is like...... lowkey vindication for game changers???? last night i talked about this with monty and i was like hmmmm "is it ugly to bring up past game history?" and his response was "not if it's within the same series" .... so. vindication

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omg i just told madison how to find the idol system thing i hope she doesnt tell anyone i told her about it LMAO........ this almost seems too easy.i got added to two alliances today. why do i not feel safe? is it me going? WTF IS GOING ON

excited to be first boot because no one will TALK TO ME!

Things haven’t changed much since my last confessional! As far as I know the tribe hasn’t started into alliances and we’re all riding some excitement at having so far avoided tribal. I think the rest of the tribe and I are all feeling good and just focusing on making the tribe switch without losing any members.

from round 2 https://youtu.be/fk002uG2HoI

Hi sorry I forgot to do a confessional this round so this will be short imma just say a few things 1. I don’t trust julian one bit he can stop being shady to me 2. I can’t believe we aren’t going to tribal I’m so fkn happy i was able to pull out the win for our tribe because I didn’t want to lose anybody else 3. I love and adore will with all of my being and he’s my number 1 ally right now 4. I find it highly doubtful that there’s only one idol in this game and that you can’t find it until merge but that’s as far as I can get in the idol search for now so I guess there’s nothing I can do about it 5. I’m still having fun can’t wait to fuck up another flash game yay!!!

My Purple edit is amazing right now. But having played more games than most of these newbies, I have decided to take on the role of teacher and becoming more of a "role model" for these newbies. I feel like I have the closest bond with Zach, and I need to get a little closer with Collin. I have Grace from past games, and then there are the others who I do not really have any strong bonds with at the moment. I guess I need to start going to them more and show that I want to work with them.

https://youtu.be/yhwXzqrTcsA Confessional 2 for round 2

https://youtu.be/TVnpwqc8XLY

Madison voted out 6-1

#nomorethings

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jakganim · 7 years

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Seeing people talk about their friends make me feel happier so can you talk about your best friends on tumblr and in real life? It's ok if you dont want to btw

hello anon!!! i’m finally back with time to fulfill this ask :’)) hope you haven’t forgotten about it yet. this is gonna be long!

hmm i’ve realized, as time went on, that while it’s gotten a lot easier for me to meet new people and make friends with them, it’s gotten a lot harder for me to make strong connections and lasting friendships that i could imagine keeping for the rest of my life. my brother always told me that i’d make all my lifelong friends in college bcos that’s what happened for him. but actually my best friend is still my best friend all throughout middle and high school and she’s the only person i could guarantee being a part of my life forever. she’s basically family now i guess LOL which is funny bcos we technically have the same last name in chinese. i could go weeks, even months without seeing her/talking to her and our friendship would literally never waver. and when we meet again it’s like nothing’s changed. we just catch up and our relationship is the same as it has been for the past ten years. i think we have a very good understanding of each other and our needs and we have like complete and utter faith in each other and our relationship so even though we can’t see each other all the time (though we sure wish we could) we still consider each other to be best friends. and i mean like best friend. she is my best friend, anyone else at that level of connection to me is literally related to me LOL like my cousins and stuff. idk, it’s just one of the most stable connections i have going on for me. and i love her to death we are basically the same person.

as for tumblr, i used to be on this site like… quite… a few years ago. like in high school LOL and i say i went on a��“2 year hiatus” because the last time i was here before i came back was 2 years ago but rly, it was much longer than that tbh. i think i had come back briefly and kind of just went through my blog, reboogied some bts stuff, and contemplated getting rid of it but instead just kept it. and now here i am!! and i’ve been back for a few months and since then i’ve met some really amazing people :’)))

first would be lala. bcos she is literally the first person i started really talking to when i returned to the tumblr world. i came back for astro and got all these amazing aroha friends instead and i am so thankful and blessed, honestly. a few of the friends i made actually came together because of her haha. we all had this one common goal and so we decided why not come together and just be a support system for each other and her (while also being loud n crazy in the process). aside from lala, some of the people i consider my closest friends here would be kat, jane, seal, and dasha. every single one of them is just so kind and loving and funny. i also noticed that many of them are very giving and i think sometimes they have a lot of trouble taking back what they give and now i feel a little like i know why these people have been brought into my life. i, for one, am already very blessed to be surrounded by some really loving and supportive people and i’ve learned through them over the years how to care for and love myself. and i think what i want right now is just for my buddies here to learn how to care for themselves first. i know how much they care about each other but the truth is, the more love we give ourselves, the more love we are capable of giving others, as well as receiving from others. and i think that’s something we could all learn to accept. it’s not really something i can make anyone do. but i want to show them that it’s possible and that they are capable and deserving of all of this. and my friends here, my lovely, lovely beans here, they’re all so wonderful and talented and selfless and it would honestly make me so happy to see them realize all of these things and just be happy and healthy :’))) so i want to be here for that. i want to stay friends with these people and have them be apart of my journey as well as have myself be apart of theirs for as long as possible. i’ve learned so much not only about them but about myself these past few months. and they’re really precious to me even if they don’t realize or feel like it.

then there’s vivi, who’s managed to get caught between two worlds and it’s amazing. we met here on tumblr but realized we were physically close enough to kind of just hang out whenever we’re both free and so we’ve hung out a few times and honestly she is another amazing bean here and i love her, truly. i want to spend more time with her these days but i’ve been busy and tired and so i haven’t really asked her to officially hang haha. i also feel like i’m still trying to navigate that because i ain’t tryna scare away nobody rn LOL but she is really special to me because there’s really no one else i know irl that gets to see tumblr me as well. and it’s not like i’m leading a double life or anything by being here, i’m pretty transparent about it, it’s just that nobody else i’m friends with irl is interested in this part of me. so to be able to talk to vivi about the whole spectrum of things going on in my life and have her understand it all is very special to me :’)

okay this got really long. i hope… this was what you were looking for? LOL i just kind of went on and on with no real direction so i hope this made some sense to you :’))) moral of the story: i love my friends. they’re great. they mean a lot to me, and i’m grateful to know i’d be able to share with them my joy, my tears, my fears, and everything in between.

#anon #asks #there's a lot of other friends i've made here #and though i do not talk to them quite as much as i talk to the people mentioned #it certainly does not mean i do not treasure them #tbh i don't even get to talk to the lanna protection squad all that often either #in general i'm the type that doesn't really talk to my friends like everyday (there are exceptions lmao)#i kind of just need me-time a lot and these days i'm busier #so i don't often seek out these buddies of mine #but they're important to me all the same

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thclcstgirl · 7 years

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idk what the fuck this is. blame lor. I blame lor for all my problems, especially this one lmao

She’s not hesitating for the right reasons. She knows that. She’s not hesitant to yank the lever because it will end lives, she’s hesitant because the last time she made a decision it went horribly awry. She’d kept the bomb to herself, she’d entrusted Lexa to know what to do. She had expected a quiet evacuation, hell, even a loud evacuation. She’d expected Lexa to care more about her people than Clarke’s and get her people out of harms way.

She did value her people more than Clarke’s, as it turned out. But Clarke wouldn’t learn that until she was standing cold and alone outside a fortified bunker.

Instead, Lexa had told her to run, to leave her people in the village and let them die.

She wanted to say she followed Lexa because she thought she could convince her to reconsider. And she had hoped that she’d be able to. But she knew she wouldn’t. Lexa wasn’t a person who reconsidered. No, Clarke followed because Lexa knew what she was doing; she’d been trained from a young age to make these decisions, she’d been making them for longer than Clarke probably even thought. And she was still living, her people still thriving ( if you didn’t count the ones caught in the mountain ). That’s what made her trace Lexa’s footsteps as they slunk out in the middle of the arrivals. It was only her mother that made her reconsider her own decision. She could leave Kane, she could even leave Octavia ( Bellamy would never need to know the truth of what happened ), but she couldn’t leave her mom.

Her mom was on the operating table now, her face screwed up in pain as she screamed. The last time she’d spoken to her mom she’d been so disappointed in her. Her own willingness to sacrifice her people had changed something in her mom’s eyes when she looked at Clarke, and Clarke didn’t like it. She’d been a stranger to her mother the last time they spoke, because she’d made the wrong decision in Abby’s eyes.

Was this the right decision? Would she make her mother proud this time? Murdering the entire mountain but saving her people, some of the same people she’d been willing to let die in TonDC? Would this be amends to her mother?

Bellamy was speaking but she wasn’t listening to him, her eyes were on her mother and the people her mother had wanted to spare. “I have to save them.” She needed her mother to love her again. She couldn’t be a stranger to her. She needed her.

A hand covers her and she finally tears her eyes from the screen to meets Bellamy’s dark, anguished ones. “Together.” He was hesitant, and she had no doubt he was for the right reasons. Bellamy cared, so much… too much. He wanted his people to live and he wanted the innocents of the mountain to live as well. To kill either set was going to kill him a little. But he was willing. To lose his people would kill him more, and he knew it.

They pulled it together, the resistance more than they’d expected and the lever seemed to move in slow motion. But once the warning sirens started, it seemed like everything happened in seconds. Before she’d even taken her hand off the lever, people were collapsing, reaching for their throats and gasping for breath. She took a breath, bringing herself back to the moment, dragging her eyes from the full sized screen of dead bodies ( it was TonDC all over again, except no one was left alive this time ) to the door. Emerson was gone. She didn’t need the screens to tell her that. He had nothing left here. He was outnumbered now.

“Let’s go get our people.” I hope this is what you would have wanted me to choose, mom.

She felt for Jasper, she did. Maya had been… well not a friend, not to her, but a friend to the delinquents, and even more to Jasper. But she wasn’t sorry, and he knew it. She didn’t insult him by saying she was; and didn’t bother telling Bellamy not to try to reason with him. You couldn’t reason with someone in mourning in the moment. She’d been crazed and inconsolable when her father had been floated; she all too clearly ( or more to the point, didn’t remember anything clearly ) the rage and the hopelessness that had flooded her system that day. Instead, she pushed them forward to the harvest chamber.

She needed to see her mom. She needed her to know this was Clarke’s apology to her.

She saw her first thing when she walked in the room and no one else mattered. Bellamy would take care of the others; it was what he did. He’d scan, head count ( she wondered if Octavia would tell him about Fox, save her the trouble. She hadn’t been able to while they were planning, it would just distract him. And now… she was too tired to deal with more grief ), make sure everyone was alive and leave her free to beg her mother for forgiveness.

Her mom’s arms around her were tight and she felt the tears building, though they didn’t fall yet. She held her mom until finally she had to pull away, had to plead with her eyes and her words both. “I tried.” She swallowed against the tears. “I tried to be the good guy.” Like you wanted. I did better this time, didn’t I? I saved them instead of left them? People died but… the right people this time, right?

Her mother’s eyes forgave her, and she felt herself go limp with relief. “Maybe there are no good guys.” It wasn’t complete absolution, but she’d take it.

The walk home was the worst. Long, hot, their injured being carried, people constantly wanting to talk. About everything. Talk about the mountain, the grounders, Lexa, TonDC, Bellamy, the kids, Cage and Wallace. Some people even congratulated her, like killing the residents of Mount Weather was something to be proud of. After a while she just slowed her steps, fell to the back of the line, distracted herself with keeping an eye out for danger from the back line, distanced herself from anyone that would want to talk to her. She was careful to stay out of sight from Bellamy; he liked to think he could read her, and honestly he could sometimes, better than she liked. He’d realize something was wrong, and she didn’t want him to. Not yet. They had to get home first.

She watched the others walk through the gate of Camp Jaha, wanting to smile at the reunions happening, but her lips wouldn’t move. Monty had been trailing too, weighed down by a decision that hadn’t even really been his. She’d put that weight on him, she’d made him help her murder an entire bunker of people. He hugged her, talked of finding Harper and she nodded almost eagerly, encouraging that. Anything to get his mind off what they’d done and off of her.

“I think we deserve a drink.” He was bound to come find her eventually. Still her lips wouldn’t move right. She knew he wanted her to smile, to laugh like they had on Unity Day. But she had nothing left to give him.

“Have fun for me.” She managed.

“Hey.” His voice was serious, trying to draw her back to him. “We can get through this.”

She didn’t want to ‘get through this’. She didn’t want anything to do with ‘this’. She’d already done enough, too much. She didn’t want to be here, wallowing and trying to pretend like what she’d done was a good thing, like she’d done this for selfless reasons. She didn’t want the talking, the congratulations, the discussions. She just wanted to be gone. “I’m not going in.”

“Clarke, if you need forgiveness, I’ll give you that.” It was the same thing she’d said to him when the weight of his decisions, the weight of the lives lost because of him, threatened to crush him. The parroting of those words, the meaning of them, wasn’t lost on her. “You’re forgiven.” Except that she didn’t want forgiveness. He did. He needed to be the good guy, he tried so hard to be the good guy. All she wanted was a clean slate. Those people for these. These people for those. It was all just an attempt to balance her decisions, balances paid in lives sacrificed. Lives she chose to sacrifice. And she didn’t want forgiveness. She just wanted to forget. “Please come inside.” He was desperate, and it makes her wince. He wanted so badly to think she was like him. He would stay, he’d grieve and mourn but he’d be comforted by the lives they’d saved, the rest of the delinquents that meant so much to him without him meaning them to. He’d be fine here. She’d wither.

“Take care of them for me.” You’ve always been better at that anyway.

“Clarke-“ she didn’t want to hear his arguments, and she cut him off, turning tear-filled eyes to him, knowing the signs of emotion would stop him in his tracks. It was a cheap shot, using tears against him. But she needed him to hear her.

“Seeing their faces everyday… it’s just going to remind me of what I did to get them here.” And how I only did it to make my mother proud.

“What we did.” He’s even more desperate, and while it cuts her, it doesn’t weaken her resolve. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

No, she thought bitterly, you don’t want to do this alone. He needed her logic, her pragmatism, without her he risked falling into his emotions too hard. She was his balance, and she knew it. But she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be his shoulder, she couldn’t do the late nights talking about what they’d done together and the guilt that would weigh him down so much more obviously than it would her. She couldn’t be his strength.

“I bear it so they don’t have to.” It’s what Dante had said. And it was bullshit. She and Dante bore nothing. He was dead. She was escaping. They were leaving their pain behind, but they were leaving their people behind alive ( or so Dante had thought before his death ). But it was the selfless thing to say, the thing Bellamy would understand if he gave it time, and that’s what she offered him.

He’s confused, sad, pleading. “Where are you gonna go?” No matter where she says, they both know it isn’t safe. But she doesn’t care. And he cares too much.

“I don’t know.” She’d figure it out. She had to leave; any longer and her mother would see her, want to talk to her, want her to come inside as she’s tended to. So she presses a kiss to his dirty cheek, wraps her arms around the boy she’d led alongside, the boy who’d risked everything for his people- her included- in order to leave him. “May we meet again.” She whispered, giving him hope. Hope she had no intention of fulfilling. If she got away, she wasn’t coming back. Not soon, not ever.

She pulled away and turned to go, feeling the absence of him in her arms like a fire that suddenly went out in the night, leaving her sitting in the dark without any warmth. But there was a comfort in the cold. Maybe if she grew cold enough, she’d stop feeling altogether. Her steps are hesitant at first, wondering if he’d chase her, grab her, stop her physically. He was always so physical. But step after step fell against the dirt and still she was free. She felt her shoulders straighten, felt a lightness in her chest she wasn’t familiar with.

Freedom.

He was letting her go. She had all the time and the entire continent in front of her to escape her decisions. Let the adults do their jobs for once. Let Lexa live with the consequences of her actions.

Clarke was removing herself from the narrative.

#drabble #one time engagement muse: clarke fucking griffin #you read that right people #it's a drabble #me as clarke #this is happening

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