#lemme know if any of this was interesting or if anyone wants me to elaborate on something

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

(Sorry if this is too weird for you. You can just ignore it if you like.)

So...what's it like to drink the Ghoul's piss? I'm wondering about taste, smell, temperature, and side-effects.

*blush*

(*Homelander voice* Go ahead...let's light this candle, huh??)

Friend, when I said this blog is kink-friendly and I don't judge, I meant that this blog is kink-friendly and I don't judge. I've yet to get a single ask/question/request that's made me uncomfortable, or even made me look at it funny, and this certainly isn't the point where I'm gonna start. With that said...

The taste? Oh babe, lemme tell you, it's not good. Don't get me wrong, I don't think anyone in the Fallout universe would have inoffensive-tasting piss (chronic dehydration is too widespread and frankly these people have fucked-up diets, plus constant radiation exposure for most of them). But I fully believe that ghoul metabolic processes are streamlined to utilize any beneficial resources with maximum efficiency (chiefly, calories and water; this would fall in line with characters like The Ghoul being put into situations where they survive for years and years with no food or water). To be blunt, I don't think his kidneys are producing a ton of urine, save for the bare minimum of biological waste that comes from them simply operating.

Long story short, I think the man maybe pisses once every few days if he's had enough water, and it would be dark and STRONG, both in smell and taste.

I also have a headcanon that ghouls run noticeably hotter than regular humans due to the sheer amount of energy that gamma radiation produces. The radiation alone may not produce much measurable physical heat, but I think a human body plied with it down to the cell level would basically work as a space heater. I don't think most ghouls worry about thermoregulation in the heat.

You know what that means, though? Incredibly hot piss. Like, steaming hot even when it's not cold outside. Hot enough to make you gasp when it hits your skin, startling without actually burning you.

In terms of side-effects from contact or ingesting, I'm envisioning the same sort of deal as with ghoul cum (which I elaborated on in an almost-equally unhinged post here); it's incredibly radioactive and will make you very ill if you fuck around too much. Getting a little on you probably wouldn't be any worse than trudging through your average puddle of nuclear waste, but if you're intending to have it inside you in any way, especially swallowing it, you need to be careful. Prep with Rad-X (which reduces the amount of radiation that "sticks" to you, up to a certain point), finish up with Radaway (which removes already-accumulated radiation) if you're determined to be a piss queen or a ghoul cum dumpster. No judgement! I just want to make sure you know you're in for some pretty severe nausea, open sores/burns (especially in your mouth), bleeding from the nose, and bruising if you're not careful. We love nasty fun around here, but we also love safety.

Also, you didn't ask about this, but based on what you DID ask, I'll assume you'd also be interested in knowing what his reaction to you bringing up such things would be.

And honestly? I think you'd get essentially the same reaction from Prewar!Coop and The Ghoul.

I think he'd be hesitant. Not because he finds it too gross or off-putting or anything, but he'd worry that it'll be disrespectful to you in a way that he, as a man, shouldn't engage in (moreso Prewar!Coop), and because he's worried it could be harmful to you (moreso The Ghoul). Don't get me wrong; I think he'd certainly be intrigued, and I think you being both bold and vulnerable enough to ask for such a thing would make his head spin in the best possible way. What a display of trust! As I've said before, I think this man had (and has) lots of weird kinks himself, he just hasn't had the opportunities to explore them that he needs. Many of those kinks he doesn't even realize he has.

But even though you can see that intrigue in his pretty eyes, see the forming bulge in his pants, you may have to be persistent if you really wanna try it out. He's very firm about not doing anything that'll really harm you, and he isn't initially convinced this won't.

If I'm quite honest? Prewar!Cooper would be even more turned on by it than The Ghoul once he came around to the idea. I think it would arouse him so much to see his favorite pretty little plaything so enamored with him that they'll do anything to please him, for him to make them feel good, including debase themselves completely. I think that you being so into him that you want him to piss on you, in you, would both stroke his ego and feed his most primal, possessive urges.

Best bet to get him started? Hop in the shower with him, get him all worked up as per usual, and then drop to your knees and start blowing him. Once you get him worked up enough that he could very nearly cum, pull back and keep stroking him slowly while you beg for it. Provided you've timed things right, there's no way he'd be able to say no...just give him a second. It's difficult to piss with a massive, throbbing erection. Maybe if you played with the head (with your tongue) while he tried, that would help. Who says you have to pull away when he finally starts if you don't want to?

Hope you're ready for an engagement ring after that.

The Ghoul mostly finds appeal in how filthy it is, in seeing this clean, gorgeous young thing having to dirty themselves to survive. Eventually, fully embracing the filth because they're part of the Wasteland now, coming to enjoy filth to some degree. I think that aspect of it would really get him going. Remember that scene where he watches Lucy drink the contaminated water that ultimately makes her sick? I saw a post on here when I first started the blog (I can't find it now!) about him offering Lucy an alternative to that when she was begging for some of his water...it really awakened something in me. Enough said.

I think he'd enjoy it as much as you, when it came down to it, but I think he would also make you beg for it, loudly and fervently, every single time you want it. From the very first time, it's gonna rile him up like no other that his pristine little companion is begging him to dirty them in such a disgusting way. I don't think he'd be too keen on letting you swallow it, honestly, much like I don't think he'd be too keen on letting you swallow his cum because of the radiation. But I think if you ask pretty enough, nasty enough, he'd be more than happy to piss on you or in your other holes. Only if he knows you're set up with plenty of Radaway, though.

People don't really get "engaged", or even married anymore, per se, but if you think you're getting away from this man after you let him do that to you, you're sorely mistaken.

[worldsfromhoney]

Greetings, plebeians

This is your resident unknown and attention-depraved author/writer, BEE/bee/beE/🐝

Here’s some stuff about moi:

I like… tea. YES I LIKE TEA 🍵🍵🍵 it’s quite honestly the greatest invention of all time

I also like reading. That’s kinda like a hobby that all writers are mandated to say. Which is reasonable.

I’m a fan of miniatures and piano. Yeah, I did try them out. Yeah, I did fail spectacularly, thank you! ☺️

I also like painting but the therapy one and not just a blank canvas that sucks the soul out of artists lol

What do I write?

I write… stuff. BEAUTIFUL, HEARTBREAKING STUFF, mind you. But it’s still stuff, so lemme elaborate.

Speculative fiction - if you idk this, it’s really just a mix of fantasy and sci-fi; the ‘what if’ genre

Urban fantasy - don’t get me wrong, I love high fantasy, but urban is waaay easier to worldbuild

Steampunk & other punks - PUUUUNK 🤘🤘🤘

Horror and thriller - mostly psychological and body horror, don’t worry! I don’t do jump scares or anything ☺️

Slice of life - mwah my heart and soul mwah

Others - yes, I am capable of doing other genres 😤 I’m a multi-faceted bee, you know?

DISCLAIMER: what I write might only reflect upon my psyche and state of mind but that is not a guarantee

My WiPs

I am proud to say that… I DO NOT HAVE ANY!!

*gasp* what ever do you mean bee? Are you quitting writing? *sobs*

No, my darlings.

i just have no big projects to boast about right now. I feel like big projects aint my thing at the moment and pushing myself only led me to disappear from the internet for a month 😞

What i do have are short works i randomly choose to write and post here on tumblr !!

✨ FICLET MASTERLIST IS HERE ✨

🐝 POETRY MASTERLIST IS HERE TOO 🐝

If you’re interested, please comment on this post or reblog or DM me if you want to be put in the taglist!!

Does that mean you accept… requests?

…………yes. Yes i do. Go and flood my askbox you plebs !

Am I anywhere else?

Please. It’s 2023. Of course I’m… everywhere *cue evil laugh*

Bluesky - if you haven’t heard it yet, tis the new Twitter… cuz it’s literally made by the old creators of that glorious blue bird *cue a moment of silence*

Tiktok or Twitter - do not look for me here

Tumblr - EYYYYYYYYYYY i post ALL my stuff here !! They’re really just bait to hook some writer friends 🥹

Ko-Fi - ehem ehem i know first drafts are considered shite but BUT i have decided to make them available for perusal yes you can burn your eyes to anyone who buys me a cup of tea ~

Patreon - i finally have one!! I’m still setting it up tho and prepping all the content 💛💛💛

I’ll be doing a patreon soon enough actually so look out for that

How I organise myself

Well i wish this is applicable to actual life because i’d very much like to know how 🫡

Jk, here be the tags:

#bee writes some stuff - my micros, my flash fics, my text posts

#bee plays some games - tag games !! which i have never played before till now !!

#bee does some prompts - this will definitely see the light of day… someday

#bee stalking some writers - what it says on the tin

#bee answers some asks - omg i only added this because someone actually sent me one *faints*

#bee saves some stuff - there are way too many resource posts that i’ve scrolled past cuz idk how to tag

[sunlitlemonade]

y'all can actually 100% disagree with me on this. like genuinely. but every time ian is mentioned and alex is like 'he was training me into something i never wanted to be' i have to take a second and wonder if it was actually like that or if he's just a teenager who never even knew his parents finding out the only living relative he had, the one who brought him up, was something alex never expected him to be. he must feel untethered and betrayed. add to that the trauma he was so nicely handed on a platter right after ian's death and seeing that the skills he had been taught by ian actually helped him. there must be so much bitterness. i think that's part of the reason why every memory mentioned then on is just,,,, tainted with that visceral mix of emotions he never got to process.

lemme show y'all some snippets from Spy Trap. it's a short story set between Skeleton Key and Eagle Strike. anyone who hasn't read it/doesn't want to, the gist is: alex and crawley are in 'car crash' and alex wakes up in a place which acts like a rehabilitation center for MI6 operatives after missions with absolutely ZERO memory of what happened for him to get there. truth is alex and crawley are being kept on a steady diet of drugs to keep them confused and loose to extract valuable intel under the guise of therapy sessions and there was never any car crash. they were drugged and brought in. it was not a hospital for MI6 agents but a set up by foreign intelligence. with all of that in mind - y'know that alex is clearly very disturbed and agitated and under the influence of bad bad stuff - lets see what he has to say about ian [and i know i put a significant chunk here but bear with me]

do you notice how he was prompted into saying what ian wanted from him when dr feng said 'and he wanted you to be a spy too'? for real, with conviction, i know for a fact that he would have refused to elaborate/volunteer any information on ian just the way he did with jack. he wouldn't have said another word. not if that sore spot wasn't hit. and in the very last section we see it boil down to him feeling like luckiest boy in the world but learning he was lied to. we see it all came down to 'I don't even know what Ian really felt about me. Did he like me or did he just want to use me?'

tell me this isn't a boy that hasn't had every memory he had with his uncle overshadowed and tainted by grief and lies. he just wanted love and i truly do think ian loved him. maybe that's just me but hey you're reading my post and i for one am incapable of being normal about these guys.

just think about it - alex was ian's only remaining family too. tell me ian wasn't worried that the way john's work had caught up with him and had gotten him killed, the same might happen to him too? or maybe one day alex could be used as leverage against him and he wanted alex to be ready to defend himself? ok, you might say 'but sunny. that explains the martial arts and physical fitness. what about all the extreme sports and other skills.' well there's this lovely little post by @lapseinart that might give you a little insight. besides, we are working on very little material because we really don't know much about ian except the fact that he was one of the best operatives MI6 had and was important to alex and his competency as a spy.

anyways so immediately after this he says:

and you can see him actively trying to put the session behind him because he seemed to verbally admitted to things he hadn't even admitted to himself before.

idk. i just have a lot of emotions and thoughts but its very interesting to see it progress from 'ian had taught him *insert skill* which is useful here!' to 'ofc another thing ian taught him to discreetly make him into something he didn't want to be'. there's never any proof that ian did that to turn him into a spy [at least as far as i remember lmao. i read the books years back and am on the 4th one on the reread. so my memory of the rest of the books is pretty hazy. correct me if im wrong lol] we never will have a concrete answer because well. ian's dead lmao. we'll never know what he had in mind for alex and why exactly he did all of this. but also,,, the way sorrow and lividity at being lied to twists alex's way of thinking about ian is Something Else.

[obscurushydrae]

Rules of Play

Please at least give it a read! Liking this post also means it’s more likely I will follow back, as I know you have RAU’d.

Updated 05/10/2024

ABOUT:

Kar/Karmun/Karthonic either-or. If you want to separate min from muse, call me by my middle name, Asher instead.

They/Them is cool.

From New York, so the timezone is EST.

Birthday’s January 1990, so 30+

Spoonie with AuDHD

Artist, and educator, so I can get busy.

You can reach me on here or on discord. Just ask.

Personal blog @karthonic.

Sci-Fi Muse: @stellevatum

GENERAL:

Above all else: Be Excellent to each other and party on, dudes!

Lurking for a bit before reaching out is fine, but I would like genuinely interested folks. Optional but I have an Interest Tracker for organization purposes.

Communication is key. My muse might be intimidating, but I'm not-- just very busy and on mobile more often than not. Don’t know something, or want me to elaborate: ask! I forgot a reply or not feeling a thing anymore, lemme know. I'm good. I like get to know the people I write with, it makes me plot things better.

This incarnation Kar is for Contemporary Supernatural/Fantasy/Mythology like verses. You can find the Og/Sci-Fi flavored Kar at @stellevatum.

While she's BPRD based,  don’t sweat it if you don’t know the other stuff. If your fandom/verse has a way in, I can finagle her into all sorts of place (she's literally an cosmic horror at heart).

That ‘selective’ part comes into play. I have every right to not follow someone, decline a roleplay, just as you do. Just be polite and respectful.

Crossover/AU/Multiverse/Self Insert friendly. Not your thing, then feel free to not follow.

There will be casual mentions of recreational drug use, more often than not mentions of alcohol than drugs, but will be tagged upon request. Other possible triggers are her fatalistic humor. 

This is not a content resource blog. If you’re here for the pretty pictures, aesthetics, or memes, this is not the blog for you.

Godmoding is discouraged but I’m not going to stop it. I will likely try to out ridiculous you Bugs Bunny style. Even though she can’t die, you’re free to try and kill her, but let me know first (either way she’s gonna be pissed FYI).

Most art is mine but will be credited. If I reblog any art reposted without the original creator’s permission, let me know. I’ll remove it.

FOLLOWING/UNFOLLOWING:

Please don’t follow/interact if you’re under 18. If I follow anyone underage, it’s because I wasn’t able to access any about/ooc information, please don’t take it personally if I unfollow!

If I don’t follow you and you follow me, please just hit me up before doing something. Just because I don’t follow means I’m not interested, I just don’t think our characters mesh with the information given. If we chat about it, who knows!

If I follow you or like a post but not follow, it's likely because I want to check out your rules but can't find a mobile friendly/need time to look through things, especially if it's a carrd. If you follow back, I'll message/send passwords as I don't want to overstep.

I don’t usually greet/interact with personal blogs, so side blogs off personals give me a heads up. Otherwise, I might miss you.

I may unfollow or softblock-- but that doesn't mean I am not against second chances. It usually mean either we haven't really done anything and I'm keeping my dash tidy or you never followed back so I'm taking the hint and stepping off, or you were inactive for 6+ month and I assume you abandoned the blog.

If you'd prefer I don't accidentally re-follow, you are free to hardblock. It's a bummer, but we need to what makes each of us comfortable to write. I will only hardblock if it is in your rules or if it was something serious that warrants it.

IN CHARACTER:

Compatible Fandoms (ie I am Familiar with): BPRD/Hellboy, Hades, Devil May Cry, Wolfenstein, Gravity Falls, WTNV, Obey Me!, Sandman, Good Omens, Hellsing, Persona, Durarara!!, Castlevania, Blood of Zeus, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Basically anything with demons/angels/gods and the like. I will interact with Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss muses, even though personally I don't vibe with Viv.

Kar is an ancient cosmic horror who was supposed to destroy all reality. Raised by mortals, so she thought she was. But she's also got other forms, which folks may see.

As for appearance, unless you’re really looking you might notice the fangs. And for the most part, assume she’s wearing her signature sunglasses covering her eyes since those rarely are taken off in public.

While not usually brought up, but Kar has attempted to end her life and self-harmed. Nowadays it’s usually just masked with fatalistic humor, recreational drug use, and lots of drinking. 

There will be mentions of Nazis particularly of the occult sort, so if that makes you uncomfortable please feel free to step away.

ASKS:

Askbox will only be open for IC interactions, save for when the meme specifies Mun. IMs are for OOC communication. Anon feature is for sideblogs, multimuses to interact ICly with me. Any Anon messages good or bad directed to the Mun (outside of memes) will be ignored. The Anon feature is privilege, I will revoke it for my well-being if need be.

No Magic Anons, please!

There’s no need to wait to send me a meme if you’ve followed me for 5 minutes or 5 months, send the thing.

Reblog Karma is going to be enforced on this blog. That is, if you reblog an ask meme off me, please send me one. Otherwise, reblog the meme from @karref

THREADS:

Jump on any open post, there’s no need to ask permission, they’re there for that reason!

I will be keeping my posts simple! I don't have the time/energy to make formatted posts, and I like to keep things as accessible as possible. I do try to keep track of the heavily plotted stuff, but the casual things might drop off. Feel free to remind me if it's been a bit!

Communicate! If you’re having trouble writing a reply, talk to me! If you don’t like or not feeling a thread, say so and drop the thread. That also doesn’t mean things are done for good. Come to me if you want to skip/do something else.

If you’d rather we move things to discord, just ask! I’ll set up a server just for us!

SHIPPING:

Shipping is welcomed and willing to discuss the possibility, but I leave the rest to chemistry and just how we as writers write. Kar is into male muses, and will be polite about turning other people down, unless one doesn’t take the hint.

I will only write ships with muns older than 21, but 25+ is preferred.

That being said, I will no longer tolerate stringing me along, or vague replies. Please be clear and direct. If you are interested; say so. If you are not or no longer wanting to go in that direction, tell me. Any vague or non-committal replies will be treated as disinterest and dropped.

This blog is multiship, meaning each relationship is treated as its own separate place in the multiverse unless discussed and agreed upon.

Kar can be polifidelitous. She’s okay with having multiple partners and those partners having partners if your character is cool with it. But she can be selectively monogamous in your little bubble too.

NSFW may be on here, or I might do it over discord. I'm playing it by vibes. As I don't really have any established romantic stuff since rebooting, I can't say with any certainty. Will update when I do know.

TAGGING/ HARD LIMITS:

Blood, Gore, Body Horror, Drugs, etc, will be tagged with (name); for instance drugs; . Special Tags on request.

Posts will be tagged upon request, just let me know!

If you read and understand this, I would appreciate if you'd leave a like the post, that way I know you have without forcing a password.

But if you'd like to message me, here's a DM icebreaker: What's your favorite extinct animal? (If you're lucky I may have cool fact about it.)

HOPE TO WRITE WITH YOU SOON! :D

[stellevatum]

Please at least give it a read! Liking this post also means it’s more likely I will follow back, as I know you have RAU’d.

Updated 05/10/2024

ABOUT:

Kar/Karmun/Karthonic either-or. If you'd rather separate mun/muse you can use my middle name, Asher to refer to me.

They/Them is cool.

From New York, so the timezone is EST.

Birthday’s January 1990, so 30+

Spoonie with AuDHD

Artist, and educator, so I can get busy. I commute, so I'm on the train for a few hours a day,

You can reach me on here or on discord. Just ask.

Personal blog @karthonic.

On mobile most of the time.

I left the Tumblr RPC 4 years ago so forgive me as I catch up with the new etiquette, etc.

GENERAL:

Above all else: Be Excellent to each other and party on, dudes!

This sounds redundant to post this but: If you have no intention of RPing with me don’t follow. Lurking for a bit before reaching out is fine, but I would like genuinely interested folks. Optional, but I've made an interest checker to help organize things.

Communication is key. My muse might be intimidating, but I'm not-- just very busy and on mobile more often than not. Don’t know something, or want me to elaborate: ask! I forgot a reply or not feeling a thing anymore, lemme know. I'm good. I like get to know the people I write with, it makes me plot things better.

This incarnation Kar is for SCIENCE FICTION/SPACE OPERA like verse. Her Contemporary/Urban Fantasy/Paranormal/Supernatural self can be found at @obscurushydrae

While she's Star Wars Based,  don’t sweat it if you don’t know the other stuff. If your fandom/verse has a way in, I can finagle her into all sorts of place (she's literally an cosmic horror at heart).

That ‘selective’ part comes into play. I have every right to not follow someone, decline a roleplay, just as you do. Just be polite and respectful.

OC/Crossover/AU/Multiverse/Self Insert friendly. Not your thing, then feel free to not follow.

There will be casual mentions of recreational drug use, more often than not mentions of alcohol than drugs, but will be tagged upon request. Other possible triggers are her fatalistic humor. 

This is not a content resource blog. If you’re here for the pretty pictures, aesthetics, or memes, this is not the blog for you.

Godmoding is discouraged but I’m not going to stop it. I will likely try to out ridiculous you Bugs Bunny style. Even though she can’t die, you’re free to try and kill her, but let me know first (either way she’s gonna be pissed FYI).

Most art is mine but will be credited. If I reblog any art reposted without the original creator’s permission, let me know. I’ll remove it.

FOLLOWING/UNFOLLOWING:

Please don’t follow/interact if you’re under 18. If I follow anyone underage, it’s because I wasn’t able to access any about/ooc information, please don’t take it personally if I unfollow!

If I don’t follow you and you follow me, please just hit me up before doing something. Just because I don’t follow means I’m not interested, I just don’t think our characters mesh with the information given. If we chat about it, who knows!

If I follow you or like a post but not follow, it's likely because I want to check out your rules but can't find a mobile friendly/need time to look through things, especially if it's a carrd. If you follow back, I'll message/send passwords as I don't want to overstep.

I don’t usually greet/interact with personal blogs, so side blogs off personals give me a heads up. Otherwise, I might miss you.

I may unfollow or softblock-- but that doesn't mean I am not against second chances. It usually mean either we haven't really done anything and I'm keeping my dash tidy or you never followed back so I'm taking the hint and stepping off, or you were inactive for 6+ month and I assume you abandoned the blog.

If you'd prefer I don't accidentally re-follow, you are free to hardblock. It's a bummer, but we need to what makes each of us comfortable to write. I will only hardblock if it is in your rules or if it was something serious that warrants it.

IN CHARACTER:

Compatible Fandoms (ie I am Familiar with): Star Wars, Mass Effect, Borderlands, Alien/Predator, Dune, The Outer Worlds, Subnautica, No Man's Sky, Galaktikon, RaM, H2G2, and more!

Kar for the most part, is literally the Force. In a body. Raised by mortals, so she thought she was. And spent most of her life just vaguely gesturing and just going with "humanoid." Force sensitive characters might be able to sense her, but she can mask it.

As for appearance, unless you’re really looking you might notice the fangs. And for the most part, assume she’s wearing her signature sunglasses covering her eyes since those rarely are taken off in public.

While not usually brought up, but Kar has attempted to end her life and self-harmed. Nowadays it’s usually just masked with fatalistic humor, recreational drug use, and lots of drinking. 

ASKS:

Askbox will only be open for IC interactions, save for when the meme specifies Mun. IMs are for OOC communication. Anon feature is for sideblogs, multimuses to interact ICly with me. Any Anon messages good or bad directed to the Mun (outside of memes) will be ignored. The Anon feature is privilege, I will revoke it for my well-being if need be.

No Magic Anons, please!

There’s no need to wait to send me a meme if you’ve followed me for 5 minutes or 5 months, send the thing.

Reblog Karma is going to be enforced on this blog. That is, if you reblog an ask meme off me, please send me one. Otherwise, reblog the meme from @karref

THREADS:

Jump on any open post, there’s no need to ask permission, they’re there for that reason!

I will be keeping my posts simple! I don't have the time/energy to make formatted posts, and I like to keep things as accessible as possible. I do try to keep track of the heavily plotted stuff, but the casual things might drop off. Feel free to remind me if it's been a bit!

Communicate! If you’re having trouble writing a reply, talk to me! If you don’t like or not feeling a thread, say so and drop the thread. That also doesn’t mean things are done for good. Come to me if you want to skip/do something else.

If you’d rather we move things to discord, just ask! I’ll set up a server just for us!

SHIPPING:

Shipping is welcomed and willing to discuss the possibility, but I leave the rest to chemistry and just how we as writers write. Kar is into male muses, and will be polite about turning other people down, unless one doesn’t take the hint.

I will only write ships with muns older than 21, but 25+ is preferred.

That being said, I will no longer tolerate stringing me along, or vague replies. Please be clear and direct. If you are interested; say so. If you are not or no longer wanting to go in that direction, tell me. Any vague or non-committal replies will be treated as disinterest and dropped.

This blog is multiship, meaning each relationship is treated as its own separate place in the multiverse unless discussed and agreed upon.

Kar can be polifidelitous. She’s okay with having multiple partners and those partners having partners if your character is cool with it. But she can be selectively monogamous in your little bubble too.

NSFW may be on here, or I might do it over discord. I'm playing it by vibes. As I don't really have any established romantic stuff since rebooting, I can't say with any certainty. Will update when I do know.

TAGGING/ HARD LIMITS:

Blood, Gore, Body Horror, Drugs, etc, will be tagged with (name); for instance drugs; . Special Tags on request.

Posts will be tagged upon request, just let me know!

If you read and understand this, I would appreciate if you'd leave a like the post, that way I know you have without forcing a password.

But if you'd like to message me, here's a DM icebreaker: What's your favorite extinct animal? (If you're lucky I may have cool fact about it.)

HOPE TO WRITE WITH YOU SOON! :D

[greyscale-galaxy]

hi!! i just wanted to send an ask to say that your herobrine fic has become my obsession it’s genuinely one of the best i have read for him! (ignoring there isn’t many)

your writing is so good and some of the lines you use are so perfect 😭 i am so enamored w it and wanted to know if there was any bonus stuff u ever left off or ideas you had but tossed? i know you’re focused on other characters and it was quick thing but if u don’t mind sharing!

Thank you for the kind message!! It means a lot that you love it so much 🥹

You'll probably be happy to hear I have two more herobrine fics planned, and they'll be multi-chaptered! I am still figuring out how I want them to go (and also I have a bunch of other fics too) so it'll be a hot minute before you see them but they do exist and I don't plan on abandoning them lol

I will also say one will be a continuation of my one-shot where Hero must confront his past, and the other will basically be an elaborate ‘they got handcuffed together’ thing, with a bunch of creative liberties taken.

As for abandoned ideas? I do have one, based on an interesting dream I had a while ago, but there wasn't enough for me to figure out a plot for it. Basically, I was aboard a spaceship and was flying over the world of Minecraft. It was heavily implied in-dream that I was from a different world altogether. Herobrine kept popping up around the outside of the ship as it descended and me and the other passengers were like ‘???’ I remember there was a problem on the hull of the ship and I had to put on a space suit to go out and fix it, since we didn't know if the atmosphere was breathable for us, and I actually met him face to face- right before the ship began to crash. EDITING TO ADD: I realize I didn't fully explain, the idea would have been something like surviving the Minecraft world from the perspective of someone who has never been there before. All while being stalked by our favorite white-eyed weirdo. It prolly would have been mostly comedic, while also allowing me an excuse to practice my hand at science fiction lol. Bit silly but I would have made it work, I always do.

That's what I remember anyway and like I said, it was interesting! But I had no idea what to do in terms of plot. Maybe I'll revisit it, but if you or anyone else wants to, I grant full permission to use the idea (I would appreciate credit for it and a link so I can read it tho!!). And that's not the only interesting herobrine dream I've had so if y'all are interested in hearing em just lemme know lol

anywho sorry for the long answer but I hope it answered your question sufficiently!

[lucky-draws]

Hey!! Your art is awesome :) Where did you learn to draw? Did you go to school or are you self taught?

Hello!! Thank you so much!! :D

It's a bit of both really, I mean I studied art at gcse and A level (which I guess is basically the UK equivalent of us high school level?? Idk how to describe it since school systems are different in every country lol) but I've not studied it at university level or like a proper private art school kind of place or anything.

But also, and I this is gonna sound cliché or whatever, I guess I've been drawing since I was little so aside from school lessons I've had many years of practice of just kinda figuring stuff out for myself basically.

(LOL and I would also say that sometimes school art lessons weren't always that useful, especially for a couple of years when we had rly bad teachers lmao. We did some stuff that was beneficial like life drawing classes and such but in my experience so much of our time was spent writing a load of fake pretentious bullshit instead of actually being taught how to draw LMAO but that's just my feeling...I could write more abt the way art is taught but I won't xD)

Right now I'm not studying anywhere, so I'm working on getting better at drawing by myself. I only really post my fanart on this blog but sometimes I do other stuff like exercises and anatomy studies that I don't post, which are helpful,, maybe since I'm already waffling I'll mention a few things I find useful to do in case it's if interest to you or anyone else? Under the cut tho, since this is getting long LOL

Observational studies/drawing from life is something that's very useful I find; just in terms of generally training yourself to look at something and try to represent it accurately and learning more about what things, textures, shadows, etc actually look like. Lately I often take a sketchbook out with me and do things like sketches of people or buildings or studies of plants, flowers etc. None of them are masterpieces, but it's just the activity in itself that's fun. Sketching people or animals forces you to be quick, because you don't know when they might move positions or leave or whatever, and being able to quickly and confidently get down the basic lines and forms of something is a good skill to have and to practice.

I also enjoy human anatomy and figure drawing so I'm trying to get better at that. Anatomy is a huge subject and it's too much sometimes to get hung up on trying to learn all the bones and muscles; a while back I got myself a textbook and found videos with that object in mind, but eh. I realised it's kind of a little ambitious when there are still so many things abt drawing in general I still don't know how to do, so I'm going to leave properly teaching myself detailed anatomy until later. Running before you can walk kind of thing, maybe.

That said though, doing a few studies now and then is still very useful, just learning a bit at a time and gradually getting used to remembering certain aspects about drawing the human body is progress enough.

In school, life drawing classes were pretty useful but I don't have access to any rn sadly. However, and this is not a #spon or anything jfjffj it's just what I do, I like this website called line of action which has photo references for artists to use; obviously there are countless sites like it but I like this one because it provides you with a timer tool kind of thing, so you can set it to 'class mode' and it will give you images to draw from in stages of 30 second sketches, then moving to a minute, then longer 5-10 minute studies and so on.

Even if you don't know shit about muscles and whatever, just observing the human figure from the outside (via images on the Internet if you understandably do not have access to real humans to pose for you lmao) and drawing it a bunch of times is still beneficial. The other I day I realised that ab muscles were confusing to me, so I literally just googled male abs and copied from a few pictures, just noting how they look, what basic shapes to remember etc.

Another good exercise that I haven't done for a while actually is to do some continuous line drawing, which means drawing something without taking your pen off the paper. For a subject you can use something/someone from life or just a picture on your computer or whatever, but basically just focus on keeping your pen/pencil on the page without lifting it, it's really useful in building up, like, confidence in your line work I guess, and it can look pretty cool actually, because it makes this kind of squiggly effect.

I'm just answering this on mobile right now and don't have time to post any pictures, but I'm thinking I could always post some of my studies and practice work now and then. Some of them will be messy LOL but I guess it might be a good thing to show this kind of stuff instead of finished, polished pieces all the time idk?

Anyway this got long and you didn't rly ask for it sorry chjfnfkf but thank you so much for the ask!!! Hope you're having a good day :-) ❤️

[edettethegreat]

probably the only post I’ll ever make about that one anime called Bungo Stray Dogs

Originally this post was supposed to be a reply via reblog to this post, but it got a bit too sidetracked and I felt bad for hijacking OP’s post like this. 

Initially I was just going to say this through the comment section of the original post, but then I realized that I have way too many thoughts to fit into the small word limit of a tumblr comment.

Anyway, that’s why I’m posting a screenshot of the original post rather than just reblogging it. I don’t want to derail OP’s original points or hijack the post and go off topic.

@chaosgranted​ you’re right and you should say it. I’m just gonna elaborate on this topic a bit. Gonna scream into the Tumblr void with hopes that the void won’t scream back.

<long ((and mostly negative)) rant about Dazai, so. Read at your own discretion>

I know I already commented on OP’s post a hundred times, but this got me thinking about the subject and now I can’t stop. So lemme burden you all with my never ending stream of thoughts on this matter.

Before I get into this rant, I wanna clarify something. I do, in fact, like Dazai as a character. I think he’s very interesting. I enjoy when he shows up on screen. This isn’t something I’d say for most other characters, who I’m more neutral about.  

That being said. Pretty much everything about how the fandom portrays him and views him annoys me so, so much.

As OP states here, what he does (leaves Chuuya unconscious and vulnerable in the field after promising to bring him back) isn’t just harmful or mean, it’s borderline cruel. And if it was done by any character who the audience wasn’t obsessed with, that character would be burned at the stake.

Think about Shirase (who I love, but that’s its own thing). Some people like him, a bunch of people hate him, a bunch of people have no opinion on him because he’s not a major character in the anime. Regardless of his Light Novel counterpart, Anime Shirase is justified enough in his own right. Let’s be real, the Sheep (including Shirase) were acting in self defense when they betrayed and stabbed Chuuya. They genuinely believed that he was an immediate threat to their safety. They genuinely believed that if they didn’t kill him, he’d kill them, or sell their information to the mafia, who’d shortly thereafter kill them.

Unlike Dazai leaving Chuuya behind when he was at his most vulnerable state, the Sheep stabbing and betraying Chuuya is not only justifiable, but understandable— and can anyone truly say that they’d do any different if they were in their shoes? I know I can only speak for myself, but if I truly and genuinely believed that someone was about to kill me or kill my closest friends, I would do what it takes to protect both my friends and myself.

The Sheep are somewhat vilified by the fandom (in the rare moments when the fandom remembers they exist). If Dazai had done the same— if Dazai had tried to kill an innocent person because he truly and genuinely believed that that person was about to kill the ADA, not only would he be forgiven instantly (which he should be, as I previously mentioned that’s a perfectly reasonable thing to do), but there wouldn’t be even an ounce of discourse over whether or not he’s justified.

Now, I understand the concept of liking “problematic” characters. (Tbh no character is “problematic”, whether or not the character is a good person is irrelevant, if the character does “problematic” things then that’s literally just how they were written and also intentional and also says something about them as a character. It should be called “good writing”, not “a problematic character”.) I understand the concept of liking the antagonist, heck my whole blog used to be me justifying Edmund from King Lear. Of course I never said he was a good person (because OH MAN HE WASN’T), but I found him very intriguing and so I would rationalize his actions and try to see things from his POV.

The difference between liking or justifying an antagonist and what the bsd fandom does with Dazai is that Dazai isn’t an antagonist.

The closest Dazai comes to filling an antagonistic role is in flashback arcs, which is the only time when his actions aren’t chalked up to “haha Bandage man is doing his thing again!”. When Dazai manipulates the Sheep into betraying and stabbing Chuuya, it acknowledges that Dazai is filling a bit of an antagonistic role there. That scene isn’t played off a  a joke— there’s no comedic undertone in how it’s portrayed. As opposed to when he leaves Chuuya in the field and it goes “haha look at Bandage man always being so silly and goofy!”

The same goes for Dazai’s treatment of Akutagawa in The Dark Era arc. When he shoots at him, attempting to kill him with no knowledge that his ability can theoretically stop the bullets, it’s not played off as a joke. However, in the dungeon scene, Dazai says that his new subordinate is “far superior” to him, and the show plays it off as “haha Bandage man made Emo kid angry!”, even though what Dazai meant by “far superior” is that Atsushi got lucky enough to be taught by Present Day Dazai, and so he’s more mentally stable and more sure of himself than Akutagawa, who’s still very clearly getting over the trauma of being literally brainwashed mentored by Mafia Dazai. Ability wise, Atsushi and Akutagawa seem to have equally strong abilities. The only thing that Atsushi has that Akutagawa doesn’t is a semi-healthy mindset. And you know who’s responsible for both of their mindsets….? This statement ( “..far superior..”) is the equivalent of punching someone in the face and then calling them ugly for having a black eye.

But the show keeps playing off Dazai’s outright cruelty to the people around him as a literal joke. And “he’s on the good side now!!”, so, to quote a song we all wish we could forget, How bad can he possibly be?

I think the first real sign of Dazai’s, for lack of better terms, tendencies..,, is in the second episode. That was the point where I was like “Oh. So he’s an asshole.” In that episode, Atsushi states that although he’s grateful for Dazai’s help, he’s not interested in joining the ADA. Dazai tries to pressure him into joining but he politely refuses. Dazai then makes it seem like he’s about to get him an interview for a different job, when suddenly he drags him into a supposed bombing and seemingly forces him to put his life on the line for an organization that he wants nothing to do with.

Atsushi is a kid who can hardly stand up for himself. I’m surprised he even turned Dazai down in the first place, but that just goes to show how badly he wanted nothing to do with the Agency. After discovering that it was all a test set up from the start— a test which he passed, now making him qualified to join the ADA— he still remains unwilling to join. Now what does Dazai, our resident master manipulator, do? He makes sure to give Atsushi a friendly reminder that sure, he doesn’t have to join, but if he doesn’t he’ll surely either die of starvation on the streets or be captured by the cops for his horrible tiger crimes against humanity. At that point of the episode I was like “ah. A manipulative asshole. Lovely. I’d like to see him get punched in the face.” (And thanks to Kunikida he does get punched. Not often enough for my tastes, but whatever.)

If you’ve never watched BSD and are only learning about it from this post, you’re probably thinking “but Edette, this guy is clearly a horrible person. And I understand that people simp for him, but just how delusional do people have to be to pretend none of this ever happened?”

Well there’s a very simple answer to that, my friend.

The whole show plays off his.. ah, let’s call them “silly little shenanigans”.. as just that. Silly. Little. Shenanigans. It shows him being manipulative and using every innocent person he comes alone to advance his own goals in one way or another. But that’s all perfectly fine! Because the show says it’s actually really funny, so it must be, right?

As OP says. Chuuya trusted him. Chuuya listened to him when he told him to activate his ability which nearly kills him. Chuuya was willing to throw his life away, endure pain beyond anything anyone could imagine, all on the hope and trust that this person he shares so much history with will be there for him and protect him when he’s left in his most vulnerable state.

But Dazai uses corruption as a tool. He uses Chuuya as a pawn to win the battle. And if you want to argue that Chuuya’s not a pawn but a knight or queen or some other chess piece then fine. Nice chess analogy. You do realize that’s irrelevant, right? Either way, as he says himself in 15, he’s not a king. He’s not the piece that will be protected at all costs. And no matter what piece he is, he’s just a game piece, just like everyone else Dazai comes across, and Dazai is the player.

And after the battle is over? Well, his pawn is of no use to him anymore. So good job Chuuya, you did it, you won. Soukoku won. But only one half of Soukoku gets to enjoy the victory.

For the record, I do believe that Dazai cares about Chuuya beyond simply being intrigued by him. I do believe that he wouldn’t have folded his coat and left it where he could find it if the person he was fighting alongside was just anyone. But that’s not even close to the bare minimum of what Dazai should have done. This is just a testimony to what sort of person Dazai is. Even with someone who he arguably cares about, he still treats him this horribly.  

And

It’s

Played

Off

As

A

Joke.

[lvlyhao]

『wayv’s ideal type』

headcanons, WayV

A/N: i love yangyang. send tweet.

today’s theme is... um... none. no braincells for an aesthetic

ALL OF MY WORKS ARE GENDER NEUTRAL AAAA

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡)...?

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: i think like 2 swear words and as usual, my tough love for the neos. don’t be offended.

word count: 1.6K

pairing: wayv members x reader (includes kun, ten, winwin, lucas, hendery, xiaojun, yangyang)

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Kun

Kun, similarly to Taeil, would most likely fall for someone very mature and responsible. My dude is already the father of 7 children (I'm counting Chenle); the last thing he needs is one more. 

Very closely related to that is what I think would be another of his priorities: whoever they are and however they are, they've got to get along with the rest of WayV—but it's even better if NCT as a whole likes them. As much as he'd love his s/o, I can't say that if it ever came down to choosing them or his members, he'd pick his partner. The guys are his family and a BIG part of his work, which takes over most of his life, so there's really no escaping it. Befriend the boys or bye-bye.

Once the boys approve of his crush, I think his interest would grow if they've got many pastimes or hobbies. I mean, c'mon, Kun can fly a plane on the same day as he sings his lungs out on Inkigayo and then goes home to cook some fancy-ass dinner. He doesn't need them to be on his level, though. Small, silly passions are the ones the loves the most. He'd listen to them talk about ANYTHING for like 3 hours straight, even if it's why their favourite type of constrictors are pythons. No, that is totally not about me. Shut up.

Ten

Y'all remember that one WayV live where a fan asks for dating advice? Yes, I'm taking a lot from it. If you've seen it, it's not hard to come to the conclusion that Ten likes honest and straightforward people. He values himself way too much to lose his time with someone who's playing games, making him chase them and things of the sort. It's simple, really. If you like him, great, he'll give you the stars if you ask, but if not, great too, he'll live.

I can see that either he'd get with a person as extra as him or someone on Jaehyun's level of unbothered. Not many options here. You either become his partner in crime and bring hell on Earth with him, or you accept it well. Just don't be judgy or ask him to tone it down. That's the way he is, so why should he, you know?

Speaking of that, AUTHENTICITY, FOLKS. Being authentic is a big deal here. Ten is very true to himself and is always encouraging us to be, as well. Anyone he even considers dating will be nothing short of unique and unapologetically so. Being confident is just so attractive for him, I can't even—and yes, even if they're a bit strange. His partner might be a weirdo, but they're HIS weirdo, and he'll fight anyone that disagrees.

Winwin

I think while other members might fall for someone as bright as the Sun, he'd love a person as calming as the Moon. You know that aesthetic? The gentleness, introspectiveness, wisdom, the tranquillity... yeah, fam. That's it for my boy Winwin.

Allow me to elaborate: all of those traits would make him very comfortable with the thought of being in a relationship. I can see Sicheng as having some trust issues, aside from not being very touchy or loud when it comes to affection. Having that peaceful aura would really help him grow closer to his partner because he knows they'll be patient with him and respect his boundaries.

He wouldn't mind if they're more on the talkative side, but he needs a person that can appreciate silence too. Something I see a lot for him is having loud thoughts that are hard to get rid of. Dating him would mean having nights when he's tired out of his mind and just doesn't have the strength to talk. His partner will have to understand that and stay by his side until his inner world is a bit less chaotic, just holding his hand and letting him take his time. I think allowing him to have his space and peace in the relationship is how he feels loved the most. 

Lucas

Yukhei would not mind one bit having a more childish, carefree partner. He's a big baby, c'mon, being around another baby would probably make him the happiest. I also think he meant it when he said he doesn't care about age (that one V-Live from years ago). Younger than him, older than him, my boy doesn't give a fuck. He really just wants someone to be silly with and smile a lot.

Having said that, I really can't see anything pushing him away from getting to know someone. Lucas is very lighthearted and loves people, so I think he'd have his fun getting to know anyone—and tbh, he would be hooked if they're a bit mysterious too. His interest would probably get the best of him, and he wouldn't stop whining about it to the other boys until he learns something about them. Very random, yes, but I can 100% see him complaining to WayV during dinner, LMAO.

One thing he wouldn't enjoy too much? A partner that can't take compliments or doesn't like being spoiled. Yukhei's affection is LOUD, and he really thrives off praise, cute pet names and giving gifts. He'd most likely be heartbroken if he finds out they don't like any of it, almost like they're shutting down his love itself.

Xiaojun

Ah, my dear Dejun. The middle child of WayV. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just look up "Xiaojun's middle child problems" on YouTube and go from there.  If you don't feel like it, lemme break it down to you: he's an angel, but the boys mostly accuse him of everything and anything and will throw him under the bus for fun. It's very entertaining. At this point, my boy doesn't have a fight or flight response; more like fight or fight (shhhh, I'll get into the headcanon now).

I think since he's used to being so defensive around his members, he'd appreciate a person that makes him feel both understood and safe. They'd share similar tastes (mint-choco ice cream, cough cough) and interests, but they'd most likely have a fiercer presence than him. Kind of intimidating, tbh. Very nice. I can definitely see that his partner wouldn't let WayV's chaos get to them and would, undoubtedly, be as much of a savage as the boys are.

He'd probably like it if they (playfully) fight his members and defend him from whatever-the-fuck they're blaming him for atm, so, yes, a bit protective. I think Dejun would simply find it cute and admirable, you know, their braveness. Would 10/10 brag about it when they're alone.

Hendery

Kunhang is the ultimate crackhead, but a sweet one at that. Being a Libra (yes, I'm going there), I think he can actually be very sentimental around the people he trusts the most and needs to feel like he belongs. That leads me to point 1: his partner would also be a crackhead. That's REALLY not up for debate. Kunhang wouldn't even think about dating someone that's not as much of a weirdo as he is. 

Point 2: he probably wouldn't like to be with a person that's too vain or superficial, whether that goes towards others or themselves. He's said before he hopes the fans can see him as more than a pretty face, and I can imagine that goes for his s/o too. He'd simply not feel connected to someone who's always dolled up or dressed to impress. Would definitely prefer a more casual style and personality.

I guess point 3 is kinda random, but it makes sense to me, so here we go. Kunhang would really like someone who's just in love with human nature. For him, it's the tiniest things: the way they laugh, how they drink their tea, which side of the bed they'd prefer... it all adds up to a person, and I think he'd feel over the Moon to be with someone who sees the same things as him. Comment on a small habit of his he thinks no one else would notice, and I swear he's yours.

Yangyang

He is a spoiled brat, and I say that with all the love in the world. We've all heard WayV say how he basically tries to exploit them (mainly Hyung-line) at every opportunity he gets, which makes me think Yangyang might be a bit lazy, yes, but also that he'd do great with someone whose love language is acts of service.

Now, I'm not saying he'd tyrannize them or anything of the sort, but things would work very well if that is how his partner expresses their love. They wouldn't mind fetching him a drink, cooking something—or ordering out, if they can't... you know, stuff like that. It would make him feel very validated and cared for. I see that, for him, that's the ultimate type of devotion.

The last thing I can imagine he'd consider is whether they can take his teasing and antics or not. Yangyang's affection is really not shown through super heartfelt, sugar-coated moments; quite the opposite, actually. If he feels happy around someone, his way of showing it is that playful banter, insults and teasing, you know? He really wouldn't know what to do if the person takes everything he says to heart, like—Yangyang.exe has stopped working. So, yeah. A thick skin and elastic heart are a great combo for my boy.

Bonus: he'd lowkey cry if they get super hyped with his work as an artist. PLEASE praise his dancing, rapping, visuals and all. I don't think many people do, and even if he denies it, the compliments make him all fuzzy inside. #appreciateyangyang2021, he's underrated af.

---

final notes: head empty, no thoughts, just 90′s love yangyang

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

someone behind me was tracing my steps / maybe you’re better off this way

Fandom: Kamen Rider Ryuki

Characters: Asakura Takeshi, Kido Shinji

Songs: "After the Fall," October Project & "Passive," A Perfect Circle (playlist here)

Takeshi’s sitting against the wall, bleeding out, and the mirror guy—Kanzaki, right—is standing over him, mouth twisted in something he vaguely recognizes as dismay. “I can’t use this, there’s barely any energy left,” he says, not to Takeshi, and there sure as hell isn’t anyone else in the room. “I’ll have to reset.”

“Hang on a second.” Takeshi coughs and feels his mouth fill up with the taste of copper, which isn’t such a bad flavor when you get down to it. “What about my wish?”

Kanzaki doesn’t even look at him, already fucking around with the mirror. “You don’t want anything, there’s no point.”

“Sure I want something.”

“…what on Earth could you want at this point? It’s all going to be reset anyway.”

Takeshi grins up at him, knowing that it’s sure to be an unnerving sight with his teeth all over blood. “Lemme remember.”

“Out of the question. Giving one participant unnecessary foreknowledge would interfere with the procedure.”

“Nah, nah, I’m not gonna interfere with shit. It was just a hell of a time.” Takeshi looks up just as Kanzaki is looking down and grins his bloody grin a little wider. “I like to remember times when I had fun. Looking forward to doing it over again. Let me remember.”

---

It’s not until he graduates university that Shinji realizes that he’s missing something.

Slightly after, really. He graduates, he works some shitty part-time gigs, he does some freelancing, and then Ookubo gets in touch and offers him a job at Ore Journal. That’s all fine, but when he steps through the door of the Ore offices he’s hit with a wave of déjà vu so powerful that he nearly trips and falls face-first into Reiko’s desk. Fortunately he catches himself before anyone notices. It had been bad enough trying to explain to his mother about the girl who lived in his mirror when he was thirteen; he can’t imagine how the people here would react to, “I remember walking into this room for the first time at least eight times over.”

He gets a grip on himself, but the feeling of loss stays. He’s missing something, and he doesn’t know what. Sometimes he’ll get a glimpse of it, he’ll pass someone on the street or overhear a snatch of conversation and a fragment of memory will overwhelm him, but he never gets everything.

From the bits that he sees, he’s not sure that he wants to get everything. It might be better to be missing something than to remember.

---

Takeshi’s known that he’s missing something for a long time now, and whatever it is, he wants it back.

He’s not exactly an educated guy, but he knows himself pretty well, and the idea that there’s a big chunk of him missing is galling. He can feel its absence. He can’t tell what it is, it hasn’t got any kind of useful shape, no edges that he can detect, but it’s his. And since he wouldn’t just go carving out part of himself, that means he’s been robbed.

He doesn’t take kindly to being robbed.

Mostly, though, he can ignore it, the way you ignore a hole in the wall that you don’t feel like repairing yet. He does what he likes, gets what he wants, eats when there’s food, and doesn’t think about it unless he reaches for something in his mind and finds that it isn’t there.

And then he sees the journalist.

Some sweet-faced kid, he is, showing up at a bar that Takeshi likes and bugging the regulars about a local ghost story that Takeshi knows for a fact is bullshit. He doesn’t try coming over to Takeshi’s corner, because the bartender visibly warns him off, but he’s talking to everyone else. That suits Takeshi fine. He can just sit with his drink and watch and remember, in shards and splinters, tantalizing and incomplete.

Kido Shinji is what’s printed on the business card he swipes from the bartender once the journalist leaves, with the address of a tea shop written on the back in pen.

Now there’s a name that rings a bell.

He stares down at the card for a moment, not sure whether he’s pleased or furious, and then heads out. Guy couldn’t have gone far.

---

Shinji gets through the door and is immediately handed an apron and a bandana for his hair. “Dishes.”

“What—Ren, I just got here.”

“Yeah, and there are dirty dishes. I don’t have time to deal with them, there are customers.” Ren squints at him for a moment, frowning. “What’s wrong with you, anyway?”

Shinji pauses in the middle of tying back his hair, uneasy. “I’ll tell you once there aren’t customers. Where’s Miyu—he’s still working, ok.”

Ren rolls his eyes. “Apparently that middle schooler who was here last week told all of her friends about him, he’s been busy all day.”

There are a lot of dishes piled up, and it keeps Shinji busy until Ren’s shooing out the last customers of the day. Atori’s different without the old lady, but it’s not a bad different; hopefully she’s happy in whatever warm place she moved to after she sold the shop to Ren. She’d certainly never seemed happy here.

He’s happy here. In a stable place, with a little bit of stable work apart from Ore, with people who inexplicably love him for reasons that none of them quite remember clearly.

When the last customer is out the door, Ren leans back against the counter, arms folded across his chest, and says, “So something’s bothering you, spit it out.”

Shinji frowns down into the dishwater. “I think someone was following me again today.”

“What, again? How long’s this been going on now, two weeks?”

“Three and a half. Ever since that thing I was looking into about the ghost, do you remember that one?” One saucer in the dish rack, start washing the next piece. “Maybe I pissed off the ghost.”

“You said there wasn’t a ghost.”

“Well, yeah, but what if there was and now it’s following me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re not being chased by a ghost.”

Shinji glances nervously over his shoulder, as if he’ll see his ghost reflected in the tea shop window. “How can we be sure, though?” He picks up another dirty cup and starts to wash it. “Some of the things I remember…”

Ren’s arms wrap around him from behind, chin resting on his shoulder. “They aren’t here,” more softly and gently than he usually speaks. “No ghosts. Just you, me, and Miyuki.”

“No ghosts.” Shinji takes a deep breath. “You’re right. No ghosts.”

---

The place isn’t tough to break into. Decent locks, but nothing Takeshi can’t get past with a crowbar. He lets himself in and looks around the vaguely-familiar tea shop with interest before heading past the counter and to the back. Stairs lead up to the apartment above, and sure, they creak a little, but that’s nothing to worry about. After all, he’s still got the crowbar if he really needs it.

Upstairs, the place is chaotic in sort of a cute way, decorated as it is by three people with clearly pretty different sensibilities, fragments of three very different lives on display. It smells faintly of frying oil, too. Someone made something good for dinner tonight. On a whim, he checks the fridge, finds a container of leftover gyoza, and eats them absently as he contemplates the shopping list stuck to the freezer door. Eggs, rice, sliced pork belly, in neat handwriting that definitely isn’t Kido’s.

He finishes the gyoza and the tail-end of a carton of milk, leaving the empty containers behind on the counter and picking up his crowbar again as he heads toward the back of the apartment.

There are three bedrooms, and none of them are marked, doors closed against the darkened hallway. Checking each one would be a hassle, and might lead to more trouble than Takeshi feels like getting in right now. Instead he just remembers how jumpy Kido seemed even before Takeshi started following him and lets intuition lead him to the room closest to the fire escape.

The door swings open, and the first thing he sees is a cloth square on the wall. A covered mirror.

There we go.

Kido’s asleep, sprawled across the bed with his head tossed back and his hair spread out on his pillow, throat pale and exposed. Alone, which makes things a little easier. There’s a computer desk set up in the corner of the room; Takeshi grabs the chair from it, drags it over next to the bed, and sits, resting the end of the crowbar on the floor as he’s saying, softly and cheerfully, “Hey, Kido. Wake up.”

A shift, an irritated mumble, “Not time to—” and then one eye opening halfway and the jolt, Kido scrambling upright in the bed, one hand flung out to the side reaching for something that isn’t there.

What isn’t there?

Splinters reform into another regained memory: a deck of cards in an elaborate case, gleaming purple metal smooth and cool in Takeshi’s hands. There’s a name that goes with it, or maybe more than one, faint and still lost but centimeters from the tip of his tongue.

Kido’s gone white as a pan of milk, hand still empty because they’re in a world with no decks, now, no monsters that Takeshi suddenly remembers with fondness, not nearly as much fun, and Takeshi leans forward on his crowbar and smiles, friendly, like, and says, “Come on, Kido, I remember you being more interesting.”

---

Shinji can hear his heart beating over the ringing in his ears. There’s a bit of light coming in from between the mostly-closed curtains, just enough to see by, and with his hand coming up empty and his unwelcome guest illuminated so that only golden hair and white teeth are visible, he is assailed by memory.

He knows this man.

From the corner of the bar where he’d been looking into that ghost story, sure, the one the bartender had told him not to bother, but also from before, from ten befores or more. A killer, vicious and cheerfully so, dangerous to be around, but beneath the adrenaline thrum Shinji can feel another pulse, pity, pity, pity, perhaps misplaced but still there.

He fights to get his breathing under control and says, “Asakura. What are you doing here?”

“You took something of mine.” Asakura’s head tilts slowly to the side, semi-friendly grin still visibly. “I came to get it back.”

“I don’t have anything of yours.”

“Never said you did. I said you took it. Didn’t say I thought you had it.”

“That…you know that doesn’t make sense, right?”

“None of this makes sense, Kido. We live in a world that revolves around a guy like you.” Asakura leans forward, one hand darting out to grab Shinji’s chin, ragged nails digging into his skin. In the dim light his eyes are flat and dark and predatory as their gazes lock, only taking on any gleam as he drinks in…something, whatever he’s getting from looking at Shinji like this. Shinji nearly asks, in fact, but he can’t quite speak, and anyway Asakura’s talking again, still as cheery and conversational as he has been. “Used to be, I got the deck in my hands and I’d remember all of it. That was the deal. Don’t know how the mirror guy finally bit it, but whatever happened, you’re the key to everything now.”

Shinji’s considering shouting for Ren, because even if he did have a dragon at his beck and call, the mirror is covered. Then, of course, he notices the crowbar. And Asakura continues to look at him, searching for something that Shinji is apparently giving him.

“Pathetic.” Abruptly, Asakura lets go again. “You used to be fun, Kido.” He stands, shouldering the crowbar like a baseball bat, and heads for the open bedroom door, only pausing briefly to say, “Call me if you ever decide to get the band back together, yeah?”

Shinji remains frozen for what seems like a long time after he’s gone, dizzy with memory and his heartbeat noisy in his own ears.

He doesn’t remember the end of things. None of the ends of things, actually, and he’s not sure if the others know that it happened more than once, how many times they were put through the same wringer. Whatever it was, though, whatever he or they finally did, it was permanent.

He never would have expected someone to resent him for it.

Finally he finds the focus to move, raising a hand to rub at the sore spots on his jaw before getting out of bed.

Miyuki’s bed is disturbed by unoccupied, and this fills him with a banked and indistinct dread until he comes to Ren’s room and finds them both there, Miyuki sprawled as inelegantly as always and snoring lightly at Ren’s side. Ren is awake, barely. “Bad dreams all around tonight, I guess,” he slurs as Shinji closes the door, and moves over to make space. “Wha’ was yours about?”

Shinji curls up beside him and says, softly, “Just ghosts.”

---

Takeshi strolls down the middle of the empty street, crowbar on his shoulder, in such a good mood now that he’s very nearly whistling. It’s a damp night; the streetlights make shadows in the fog that look like old friends he now remembers, any number of enormous beasts stalking him as he walks. Which makes him want to laugh, and so he laughs, and the sound bounces off the buildings and the fog in an echo that could go on forever.

“Goddamn,” he says to a fog-reflection that shifts and changes with every step he takes, now a vast snake, now a rhino, now a stingray. “That was a good time, wasn’t it.”

The fog makes no reply, but the shadow continues to follow him down the street as the echoes of his laughter die away, and after a moment, feeling almost jaunty, he starts to whistle.

[frogtanii]

It’s wind anon. I know I should react to the Kenma part, but I just went through the update, saw Meiko’s portion and I have feelings that I need to get out because I’m so far gone right now—

I swear, I can break down every single text what the flip is this BS. Meiko, dear, do you,,,have a concussion. Are you thinking. What,,, this is like the time you were underdressed at the restaurant and you ended up getting drunk as heck.

Okay, let’s do the breakdown.

Coming in hot, we see Meiko with “tooru!!!!!!” (Yes, I did count the number of exclamation marks) firstly, the usage of his first name after ‘exiled’ where she raged at him and used Oikawa instead... mood swing much because I cannot believe the audacity of this... and really. First name basis. Trying to be close and to get rid of animosity, but not offering up anything like “hey, I’d appreciate talking to you for a sec if you’re free?” Or an apology for blowing up at him because he did indeed have your back, it’s just that you were the one problem. But yes, the exclamation marks too. A bit childish, obvious excitement...mmmm, I’ll move on to the next section.

Oikawa’s “oh. hey meiko” shows that he really ain’t up for this. First is the obvious low energy. I don’t want to go into depth about that but the “oh” shows that he paused. He saw her message. He answered. And he didn’t expect her to talk to him. Especially with that sort of energy. Mixed feelings towards her. And his “hey meiko”. I would say he is one of the more energetic of the House. He probably would’ve done something like “meiko!!! <3” in response before or something like that. He’s a bit flashy in that regard. But no punctuation. Just a downtrodden “hey” in response.

“don’t sound so enthused” she says. I mean, at the very least it seems she understands and can grasp tone from messages? But I am like “it would be more surprising for him to be enthused? I’m in awe of how you were able to become so enthused after you got yourself crushed into pieces by YN...” Besides that, even if Meiko wasn’t physically hurt, a confrontation of this sort would not lead to anyone having a happy mood? Me glancing between Meiko and all the therapists that were mentioned before because I really hope that we can figure something out because she gives off so many different vibes I am like... “what even goes on inside her brain...”

“can you blame me? you yelled at me the last time i talked to you” and this is the truth. He shouldn’t be enthused. You yelled at him, you disregarded his concern and you showed that you didn’t care for him as a person. Even if there was a circumstance where she didn’t yell at Oikawa, he would reach out first and be concerned about her health. Meiko has no grounds to try and blame him for anything right now. Frankly, I don’t think Oikawa should have even bothered answering her because I don’t think he is in the best place emotionally to deal with her.

“im so sorry sweetheart!!!! i didn’t mean it :(” lemme just day, wind anon cannot believe the BS that this message is. First, she says she is sorry. But really? Really. I can’t even look at her. Look, I don’t know what it is but “I’m so sorry.” Has the weakest apology energy. “I’m sorry.” Fine, decent, the classic and simplest. “I’m really sorry.” Also good! Shows regret. “I’m so sorry.” Sounds like you when you just learn that a person’s family member has passed away. There is something about “I’m so sorry” that doesn’t sound sincere to me and it’s infuriating. Next, the “sweetheart” I might’ve gagged a bit internally. Does she,,, talk like that? Normally? Is that a thing? She’s younger than him...and I don’t know but sweetheart sounds so condescending I literally can’t even— and finally, the “I didn’t mean it” yeah, well, you don’t mean anything because everything you say is BS that’s what you mean. Stop excusing your behavior. There is no merit behind it.

“you know i was just beat up and i couldn’t control what i was saying”. Okay, let’s break this down too. First, trying to incur sympathy by the “I was just beat up.” I cannot believe this gal. And the “you know” for a reference to a person’s knowledge of the matter, it lets them be more susceptible to beliefs. But the “I couldn’t control what I was saying” is complete utter hogwash. I mean, Meiko can’t control any bit of her because she is just impulse. But she excused her inability to control herself by saying it was because she was just beat up.

I don’t know what to say for the next portion. Alone, it’s cute, but put into perspective it’s just manipulation and she doesn’t love him. I’ll just move on.

“what do you need that you can’t ask iwa-chan?” Okay, so he didn’t reciprocate with an “I love you too” so that just shows what type of mood and how effective her words were. It also shows that she always messaged Oikawa when she needed something, because he caught on super quick to that. The “Iwa-chan” is interesting though. I wanna know if Oikawa talks to Iwaizumi after this conversation with Meiko because she is clearly going behind his back right now.

“oh well hajime is being very rude rn. he won’t let me leave my room!!!!” Okay, he had best interests at heart and Meiko...I know every single one of your rooms has a bathroom too. They’re bringing you food. They are letting people go into your room. Meiko, you wouldn’t have lasted quarantine if you’re this petulant now. It’s literally going to be like, 3 days max if you work to get an actual solution. I don’t want to break this down, I feel this is self explanatory. She feels entitled still.

“i know, it’s for your own good” he replies, and that is true but I am also of the belief that it is (hopefully) better for the rest of the house to not be in contact with her so I guess that’s that. Anyway, this shows Oikawa placating her, next

Meiko...being...not pretty. “ugh!!! but i wanna go out!!!!!!” Yeah, she would not have been able to be safe throughout the pandemic. Please,,, you’ll have fresh air if you open up a window,,, I know for certain you don’t exercise,,, please Meiko, shut up already you are making yourself look like more of a pile of garbage than you depict yourself as please I cannot handle the idea that the guys fell for this act—

“you have a black eye babe” okay, the black eye is actually Tooru trying to refer to knowledge that she has. As in, she should be trying to rest and get better right now. (Just curious, who treated her? For the injuries? She raged at Iwaizumi and Oikawa so maybe Daichi?) the babe gives off the placating vibe to me, still low energy, not very affectionate, but it’s there so I’m like “hm”.

“so??? omg are you calling me ugly tooru???????” Well...he didn’t call you ugly. But I might? Because you have the ugliest personality of everyone here. But also, shifting blame onto him. Gosh, I give Oikawa some water. He’ll get a migraine from this.

“of course not. i would never”. Low energy, not elaborating, I think he sees that she is trying to manipulate him, or at the very least he isn’t going to play that particular game. But actually, he runs a fashion channel on YouTube. We know Bokuto runs a fitness one and his header message was something along the lines of everyone’s bodies are beautiful, so chances are Oikawa has the same sort of idea for his channel too. He may criticize fashion, but he would never criticize the people wearing it or the people who made it in a mean way. He would be respectful, and he lets people do what they wish because it’s their choice. I mean, there has to be a reason why Meiko’s fashion is how it is—he doesn’t intrude on matters that aren’t his to intrude upon.

Okay, Meiko. I’m gonna stop trying to format the messages exactly how they are, autocorrect is making my time with them a bit too much, but she says she wants him to take her with him. Okay, starting off, you are really under the belief that he will take you on to a trip he has planned when he didn’t invite you in the first place? Pushy... but yes, her petulance again... me flicking water at her, “you got super drunk because you were underdressed at a fancy restaurant and now you have a face that looks like roadkill, how much do you want to embarrass yourself before you get turned into a pariah?”

Oikawa not knowing how she knows that is clear concern. Someone knowing your schedule when it’s none of their business and not public knowledge is major red flag. The “uh” shows that he is clearly taken aback. The ellipses shows that he doesn’t know what to think.

Okay, Meiko—she is actually able to notice something??? Good golly gee, I am baffled by how she did that when everything else she does is on fire. But the consistency probably gave it in. She may have been looking for him at one point, noticed he was out, and saw the pattern then. But actually, wouldn’t she be good at noticing the patterns of the guys so that she always knows which one to go to and use? Thoughts.... but I’m curious about the fact she said the “same group of absolute losers”. I highly doubt they always go and meet up directly in eye view of the house? Chances are they meet up at a bar or something? This potentially could be a thing where Meiko was stalking them? It would be interesting if she saw them while she was out as well—and if yahaba and kyoutani noticed her around before too. Also, her saying “you ain’t slick” like,,, Meiko, have you looked into a mirror. Can you see.

Oikawa defending his friends, we stan. Let’s move on though: “they’re so much younger than you?? and yahaba is def not cute lmao” me, doing like the... monkey meme where they look away because I am just like??? Meiko, you’re younger than Oikawa. I bet Yahaba and Kyoutani are your age. And anyone younger than you is a loser huh? That’s why you look at Bokuto and YN like they are dirt beneath your feet. (And Yes, I do remember that you put Bokuto and YN as the babies of the house, this reoccurrence is very well done). And she went and insulted Yahaba directly like...you’re talking to his friend? What are you doing? Excuse me? I beg your pardon?

And the ellipses strike again— and Oikawa is fishing for information because we have seen him—he listens to logic. And Meiko... her emojis... wind anon be flicking more water at her, she is too much. Also. Kyoutani. She is calling Kyoutani cute. This was the message that made wind anon start this long analysis. Kyoutani, cute? Listen. Kyoutani would take one look at this parasite hanging off his arm with her swollen black eye that was slathered with makeup and her lacking clothing sense, before looking at Oikawa who would be so haggard by then, and then Kyoutani would force her off his arm before grabbing Oikawa and running off with Yahaba following them. There is no way at all Kyoutani would involve himself with Meiko. I refuse to believe he would go for her.

Okay, the two messages after about wingmanning—I don’t want to do a large scale analysis of it. Oikawa really is shown to have good sense for Meiko’s intentions. His intuition is good. And we know that he cares and respects his friends and he focuses on their capabilities. He knows them. Meiko is just...childish in the worst of ways.

“You don’t see the issue with this”. Oikawa really digging in his feet. First, he wished to be in a relationship with Meiko. And here she is, asking for him to wingman to get her together with one of his friends, who may not even like her—and I bet that if it doesn’t go well, she would blame Oikawa for it like really—but I give Oikawa more water for the migraines Meiko induces.

“What?? It’s not like we’re actually together lol”. The laugh out loud at the end really shows how much of a joke she sees this as. She sees him as a joke. And she just crushed all his efforts and actions to try and get into a relationship. And actually...will Meiko ever get into a relationship with another? She has no loyalty. She definitely wouldn’t have ever got into a dedicated relationship with one of the guys. And she would be the type to get upset if they slept around, wouldn’t she? A hypocrite.

“Ugh don’t be like that!!! I’m sure you sleep around too!!” Okay, she is trying to defend herself while also potentially blaming him if he does. It’s just manipulation...I’m gonna move on...

Oikawa’s just done and his “I don’t” holds a lot of emotion. But Meiko’s response back I don’t believe at all. “Oh well that’s your fault, I don’t really give a sh*t if you sleep around hehe!!!” First, blaming him for his choice of only choosing you??? And I highly doubt the second part because she is shown to throw blame and ditch people for negligible reasons—I have no trust towards her words. I do not believe her. I believe she would care. I believe she would blow up at the guy before leaving him.

“Of course you don’t” And there is the utter doneness. He has given up on Meiko in this message. He doesn’t care anymore. He was already not in the mood for her when she first messaged him, he doesn’t want to see her at all anymore. He’s given up.

“So you get it!! Perfect!!!!” Please, wind anon has written so much already, her eyes are sweating everytime she has to look at Meiko being like this hhhhh. “I’ll be ready at like 9pm? Come by my room!! Actually no I’ll come by yours” and her usage of emoji. Get her away from me and everyone in PF. She’s toxic. Send her off with hazardous waste. Also, she deliberately changed from her room to coming by his. She is cutting off him so he has to go with her, he can’t just sneak out and not wait at her room (though she did offer a time so he could just go out now and ditch her presence completely). But it would be amusing if he did something like lock his door, (either after he’d go out or if he wold leave through window) and she would just be there waiting all decked out in her clothes and makeup pounding on his door. He wouldn’t answer and the others would see her out of her room (a misdemeanor). And then she would have to make an excuse. But it would be hard...because Oikawa has text evidence of Meiko going against Iwaizumi to just play like this.

“And if I say no?” Says Oikawa, who is testing the waters—very smart. We approve. “You won’t.” She replies, because she is terrible and we hate her controlling, manipulative, abusive self and we would all fight her. And she ends it off with a “great!! see you then!” Because she has to have her way and the last say.

Okay, wind anon is done

Completely. Utterly done with the analysis and reaction for that. Might not get to Kenma and YN analysis because I went off in this one but just know I appreciate it and I’ll try to get to it—just,,,not today.

I hope Oikawa sends these screenshots to like, Iwaizumi at the very least but it would be even better if he just drops it in a group chat with Daichi and Osamu instead and asks them to keep an eye on her for “her own safety” and ask her to stay in her room. She’s too daring and if she blows up on him after, he will receive more evidence of her being terrible. And of course, he’s smart. He’ll definitely block her number when he doesn’t want to bother with her anymore. Okay, wind anon is ending here. The ask is too long. I think it’s the longest ask I’ve ever sent. I wish you well fr0ggy. I hope your sleep is pleasant and you wake up very rested and refreshed!

WOO LONG POST!!!! i cannot nearly respond to all this!!!! but!!!! i am in Awe??? text by text???? i love this????? ur so amazing i <3 u

[cloveroctobers]

LEVEL 1 — Perception

A/n: to make things easier due to my hectic work schedule...I’m deciding on writing blurbs or short fics for right now, to get content out in a timely manner. I’m open to writing pairings but I notice those don’t get that much attention but I’m attempting to do so anyways...at least at the start of this series which is absolutely inspired by we’re not really strangers. I love the game, it’s very personal and intense so if you have the chance, get it if you’re open to connecting with the people you care about in a passionate way. I’ve also decided to make the characters a little bit older...college wise/around the actors ages based on these questions lol even tho these teens are already dramatic + have a lot going on.

Synopsis: a interviewer that Spencer is very familiar with, Rochelle Mosley has resurfaced to complete her senior year project at Claremont as a journalist. Rochelle is all about going big and never going home, so the first person on her list is one of the guy’s that intrigued her the most not so long ago. So she reached out to Thee Spencer James and to put the word out to anyone else that might be interested. And here we are!

::: S. James + O. Baker ::: All to me

Rochelle is seen running her finger over her pearly whites, making sure they’re squeaky clean after eating her brunch which consisted of a poached egg, an açaí bowl, served with lemon water. She already spent twenty minutes brushing her teeth and whitening them last night to prepare for this moment. She knew this idea would guarantee her nothing but a A+. She had friends from the film department around helping her with the equipment and due to this Panasonic it made things chaotic opposed to having this interview face to face.

Rochelle knew that she could have at least met with Spencer for his half but decided to do what he was comfortable with. She wouldn’t push any boundaries...yet. Regardless it would have to be a video call since Olivia attended MassArt and appeared that she would not be coming back to California any time soon, according to her insta stories that is.

Nonetheless Rochelle knew how to negotiate so here she was working on their terms. With a sigh, she straightened out her posture, fixed the waves in her hair, reapplied some matte lipstick—again, glanced around her to make sure she liked her set up and eyed her friends to make sure they were doing what they were getting paid for, and plastered on a commercial smile as she connected the video call waiting on her two guests.

It only took a minute for Spencer’s face to pop in.

“Spencer!” Rochelle greeted which he replied with slight raised brows and a smile at her volume, “so glad you can be here and punctual at that.”

Spencer answered, “well you know, if I agreed to be something I don’t want to waste anybody’s time ya know?”

“Always the wise one aren’t you?” Rochelle commented before continuing on, “how are things? How is UCLA?”

“I really like it here, uh. I’m almost done with my sophomore year, but with the way things are looking right now? Might have to switch to remote this spring semester...we’re all basically on standby at the moment. It’s crazy times but we gon’ get through it, I know it.” Spencer chatted with ease.

Rochelle was multitasking looking to the side at her phone to keep track of time. Olivia Baker was five minutes late now, which was slowly working Rochelle’s nerves. The girl had her number and although they didn’t talk much through texts or through anything really, it was common courtesy to let someone know if you were going to be late or couldn’t make it.

“Yes! We have to keep a optimistic attitude as best as we can. I hope you’re being safe out there?” Rochelle met Spencer’s eyes, after silently debating if she should send Miss. Olivia a text.

Spencer dipped his head, “absolutely. And yourself?”

“Oh yes, honey. This thing is ruining lives unexpectedly but it’s insane to me that people believe this isn’t real. It’s the denial for me. Especially here in California! Then when they catch it, it’s suddenly a different tune. Sure the numbers might be a little questionable but not too much is a lie. Read the facts, do the research. But—

Olivia showed up. Eight minutes later...

Rochelle forced a smile, “Olivia Baker! How nice of you to join us.”

“I know, I know. I’m super late and I’m sure you don’t want to hear the excuses so let’s just dive right into this social experiment project thing you have going on. Sorry by the way.” Olivia rambled which Spencer chuckled at.

Olivia paused, “hey, Spencer.”

“Hey, Liv.”

Rochelle picked up on the chemistry or tension or whatever you want to name it. It was all still there and oh so fresh. She knew this would be good and knew they had to be the first on her list. Sure Rochelle maybe a year or two older than these two but she also had friends that were younger and gossipers like her so she always had the inside scoop when she needed it. So yes, she knew all about spelivia.

“How’s Boston?” Rochelle asked politely, breaking the two’s stare contest.

Olivia inhaled, “it’s better than California, that’s for sure. It feels like I’m getting a fresh new start and it’s just what I needed.”

“Yeah i see you’re at your best there. You seem to be thriving.”

“well yeah, because it’s new. Sometimes you need to get away, I mean I’ve been in California for eighteen years of my life. I always knew I wanted to be somewhere else...don’t get me wrong, California is still very much my home.”

Nice save there, Olivia.

Rochelle clasped her hands together with a wide smile after a small silence filled the air after Olivia’s statement.

“Moving right along, I’ve sent the both of you a series of questions that you both should have received correct?”

Spencer pulled the padded envelope from the side and waved it in front of camera. Rochelle smiled at how organized this guy was and shifted her glance to Olivia who widened her doe brown eyes.

“Ah, yeah I’ve got that. It should be around here somewhere? Hopefully. If it’s not then it’s definitely in the car.” Olivia pointed.

Rochelle sighed, “very well. Please proceed on retrieving the envelope, it’s crucial to this interview.”

Olivia scooted back from the desk and held up a finger as she disappeared from the screen. Rochelle turned back to the brown boy who was toying with the tan object.

“Have you read any of the questions, Spencer James?”

“I really haven’t had the time to, no.”

“Great!” Rochelle quipped, “this will make this experience truly authentic.”

Spencer thought about what was said, wondering where this would get him. He understood what Rochelle informed him in the email and she answered all of his questions. He knew this wouldn’t strictly be about him and Olivia since he invited his friends along for the ride as well.

“Please open the envelope as we wait on Olivia. BUT only read the first question on the first card, we don’t want you to get too far ahead of yourself since that wouldn’t be fair to Olivia.” Rochelle instructed while Spencer took a small inhale before doing so.

Spencer read over the card, his eyes flying over the words as he read them pretty quickly. He hummed at that which Rochelle began to question him on but Olivia announced her presence.

“I’ve got it!” She let out in a sang-song voice.

“Olivia, please open the envelope but only read your first card’s question. Spencer has already done so while we were waiting for you,” Rochelle instructed before turning back to the sophomore, “Spencer, whenever you’re ready please read the question and answer.”

How would the person closest to you describe you in three words?

Olivia halted as she pulled out her own card as Spencer showed the card while reading it from the side.

“I’d think they would say I’m...compassionate, hardworking, and...loving?” Spencer announced, taking his time on thinking that over.

It was Rochelle’s turn to hum as she asked, “Do you agree with his choices, Olivia?”

Olivia was confused. “W-what?”

“Would you say Spencer is: compassionate, hardworking, and loving?”

Olivia quickly recovered, “we don’t know if Spencer is referring to me on that question.”

“Spencer, when answering this question who are you saying is the closet person to you?”

“I—uh—I consider a handful of people that are close to me.” Spencer expressed, “but I’d be lying if I didn’t say Olivia isn’t the first person that came to mind. Even though there’s a shift right now in our...relationship due to the distance—among other things...we’re still the closest and that speaks for itself.”

Rochelle gave a smug smile as she looked at Olivia who opened and closed her mouth. Before Rochelle could encourage Olivia to read her question, she already went forth after clearing her throat a few times.

What reality show do you think I’m most likely to binge watch? Explain.

Olivia peered up at Spencer.

“Oh? I’m supposed to answer this about her now? Aight. Lemme see...i don’t know you seem to find a lot of free time to watch things...maybe it’s a film major thing? Months ago you were watching ‘I love New York, then you told me you and Simone were watching ‘Love is Blind’ or—

“It was actually ‘married at first sight’.” Olivia cut in.

Spencer widened his eyes and pointed at the screen with a small laugh, “that makes sense.”

“Why?” Rochelle wanted to know.

Spencer’s answer was firm, “that’s not our business to tell.”

Rochelle scribbled a quick note on that, ruling these two out on that question to ask later. She made sure to circle Simone’s name and put a question mark next to it.

“To answer your previous question,” Spencer redirected the interview back, “since a lot of these were love reality shows...I know that’s not the only genre you watch and you listen to a lot of podcasts. So I’m gonna say this show called, ‘alone.’”

Olivia blinked.

Rochelle waved her hands as she signaled for one of her friends to find the show on the laptop they were on, “have you watched this show, Spencer? And please elaborate on why you chose this show for Olivia?”

“No I haven’t. I only saw the trailer for it randomly when I was on YouTube watching lebron’s greatest moments clips.” Spencer replied earning a snort from Olivia and a eye-roll from Rochelle, “I picked that show because Liv feels that way, always. Like she’s never been seen before, truly seen. And this show tests these guys to survive on their own in the wilderness, putting not only their bodies but their minds through a lot. It’s mainly about survival that much I gained from the trailer. Liv’s always been a loner for as long as I’ve known her and feels that’s how she knows how to survive by doing it all on her own when she doesn’t have to. I see that and I understood that from my first day at Beverly.”

...

[hyunrun]

Dream SMP/Batfam

This is my reasoning for connections between Dream SMP members and the Bats. This was all just for fun, but feel free to give feedback if you’d like! And do say if I’ve made a mistake. I haven’t done everyone, so if there’s anyone else you’d like me to do, lemme know! Please read, I spent a good while on this :D

Batman (Bruce Wayne)/Technoblade: Technoblade's Dream SMP origin story starts with his parents dying, so the backstory fits. He swears to kill all orphans because of the way they killed his parents (Similar to the way Bruce wanted to stop crime from running rampant in Gotham). Techno is also, technically, an orphan as Bruce was. I've always imagined Bruce's voice to be kinda like Techno's, especially that monotone tone he uses, and especially when he's Batman and not Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne is -Bat-man and Technoblade is a pig, need I elaborate? Both of them seem to stay up till ungodly times of the day, and I'm sure their sleep schedules are never on the same clock as anyone else's, Bruce's because of his vigilante lifestyle and Techno because... well, he's a Minecraft YouTuber. Both of them have a father figure, although not biological. They also have a friendly rivalry with a fellow content creator/hero (Cough Dream/Superman cough). We say Dick/Wilbur is dramatic, but you can't possibly mean to tell me Batman/Technoblade isn’t subtly more dramatic. They practically invented being dramatic in their respective businesses.

Alfred Pennyworth/Philza Minecraft: Is the father figure to Batman/Technoblade. Is really a force of chaos but everyone pictures them as a soft, loving dad because we all have parental issues and we need more father figures. Both of them are very badass in their own ways. Old and British. Here's a parallel I thought was pretty cool. Philza had been building up his hardcore world for 5 years before he died. It was like his home disappeared in front of his eyes as he fell away from his life. I'm not sure which continuity/arc this is from (Please do not hate on me, I am but a small child) bUT I do know that Alfred died of a heart attack/stroke at the same time the Wayne Manor was destroyed. His home was destroyed as he died. Just as Philza's had been.

Damian Wayne/TommyInnit: Is never really loved by anyone at first glance (From the fandoms). Tommy's the loud, annoying one, Damian's the grouchy, haughty one. But everyone eventually gravitates towards their characters later on. Their families were wary of them at first but grew to love them. Both of them are the youngest, and generally angriest child. Both are not American, Tommy being British and Damian, Arabic. They both have ICONIC mothers. MotherInnit is a queen, we all know this. If she can handle Tommy, she can handle absolutely anything. Talia Al Ghul has a reputation of her own right, and while she hasn't quite the pristine repertoire, she definitely strikes a strong mark on people. Now, this is a dumb connection between the two, but hair!! Tommy’s seems nice and floofy while Damian's is generally drawn spiky, and I think that's a cool contrast. Their love for pets is also important to note. Tommy's the one that's known for starting wars over the deaths of his pets, and it's easy to know that Damian wouldn't hesitate to hurt someone if they did anything to Titus or Batcow. It’s been shown on multiple occasions that he loves his pets a lot.

Jon Kent/Tubbo_: Best friends with Tommy/Damian. Do not try to argue that Jon and Damian aren't best friends because come onnn. And PLEASE do not take this as a dumb excuse to ship Tommy and Tubbo, as I know people ship Dami and Jon. Both are the embodiment of chaos wrapped in kindness, and both are definitely the more stable of their friendship with the other gremlin children. I am confident that both would probably refer to their parents as mother and father dearest. You cannot convince me otherwise. Tubbo has already done so, and Jon would never disrespect his parents, so this would obviously be the next best alternative for when he is upset by them. Jon’s powers fluctuate upon shifts in emotion and he can’t really control his powers, like the shifting of Tubbo’s alter egos. We never know when Toob or Big Law will creep out of the shadows.

Dick Grayson/Wilbur Soot: (Second) most dramatic in the family, though perceived as the drama queen because of their boisterous personalities. The one that was probably a theatre kid in school. The lighthearted one that keeps everyone cheerful, but also the one with the easiest path to a horrid descent into madness. They have a flair for drama, the glitter and sparkles to Batman/Technoblade’s sombre smoke and haze, which is why they work together so well. The closest family member to Tommy/Damian. Their little brother/big brother dynamics are just impeccable. Both are the most simped for by their respective fanbases (from what I’ve seen). The token pretty boys. Both artistically talented in different ways, with Wilbur’s music and Dick’s acrobatic skills. Also the ones that get constantly shipped with every woman they literally even look at. They also express their dramatic tendencies through their clothes, Dick with his jazzy Discowing suit and Wilbur’s dramatic L’manburg outfit.

Superman/Dream: The OP gods, need I say more? Friendly rivals with Technoblade/Batman. Very often perceived as ‘Perfect’ which they are not, but many refuse to accept that. A funny parallel I drew was the fact that both of them are famous in their own rights, but can just walk around and not get recognised despite millions of people knowing their online/superhero identities. Both are technically not human.

Stephanie (Batgirl/Spoiler)/Sapnap: Both of their names start with S! Not my only reasoning, but I’ll take it into account anyway. Both are basic looking in my head (Blue eyes blonde hair for Steph?? There’s at least 3 other girls that look EXACTLY like her in the nearby DC universes. And Sapnap blends in with every other white boy, though I love him regardless.) but both also have immaculate personalities to make up for it. They’re the most normal people out of all their co-streamers/superheroes in my eyes, also my favourites. (I didn’t realise as I put them together that I loved them most but here we are). They’re both great at dumb banter. They don’t have huge, hilarious bits often or any constant jokes that are pulled on time and time again, but their general atmosphere makes everything seem like a joke. They may not be the best at what they do in their friend groups but are actually really good nonetheless and do not get due credit for their effort and talent sometimes. Has a warring relationship with Damian/Tommy (Sapnap over the pets and Steph and Dami didn’t have the most friendly relationship at the start)

Jason/BBH- Same but opposite but same. Exists to cause chaos. I wouldn’t have associated these two with each other till the Badlands became a thing… but then the Badlands became a thing and I had to. Now, I know that technically Bad doesn’t have a grudge against Techno, but Jason would totally set up a whole empire just to mess with Bruce’s plans, just to get in the way, to instigate, to fan the flames of the fire till he’s driven Bruce to his breaking point. Bad isn’t exactly trying to do that, but he’s only around for the chaos. He’s only here for his own benefit, and he’s only here for that because of the hurt caused to him by the nation he came from. A parallel being Jason causing havoc because of the pain Bruce caused him. Besides, both have a cool red and black colour scheme, and both wear jacket!! Both are also technically not alive (If we're considering BBH as a demon).

Roy Harper/Skeppy: I have absolutely no explanation for this, but it just Fits. Besides, they have cool opposing colour schemes and are best friends with BBH/Jason!!

Aaaand last but not least

Jason/Technoblade: Now you must be thinking But Kaly you already spoke about them! And yes, I did, and they do go really well with their respective characters but I couldn’t simply ignore the connection between these two, so I thought I might as well write about it. Technoblade was an English major (If I remember correctly) before he dropped out to pursue his youtube career. Jason, though this may not be a well-known fact, was a definite literature nerd at school before he met his demise. Their cut off education in English is an interesting parallel to me. Both of them also have destructive tendencies, with Technoblade being an anarchist and Jason periodically running an underground empire to make sure he can do whatever the hell he wants to. They don’t generally care who they hurt on their way to reach their end goal. Jason’s reckless shooting and killing clearly shows this, as he continuously justifies his actions by saying he’s ending crime rather than just making it wait in line for its turn to pop up again, while Technoblade’s release of the withers and excessive use of his firework crossbow clearly shows that the deaths of the residents of L’manburg do not matter to him as long as he abolishes the government.

[brujahinaskirt]

@missn11​ says:

Ask and ye shall receive, fellow neonate! <3 Bear with me, because I’m about to hammer out 2000 words very quickly...

This massive rant by its topic nature is sort of Nines-critical, so lemme start by saying that, in my own way, I love Rodriguez. (I was partially self-burning in the shitpost that ignited this rant because I SEVERELY exaggerated Nines’s canonical shadiness levels in my ancient fanfiction, and for no other reason than because I was a teenage edgelord. I am appropriately embarrassed, but only by my excess and melodrama, not by Troika’s characterization. I think the writing behind VTMB’s Nines is superb.)

When it comes to Bloodlines, I think he’s one of the most psychologically interesting profiles in the game. In fact, I could never get into LA by Night because they so de-toothed Troika’s vision of him. Not to say LA by Night’s Nines was a poorly-developed character in his own right, ‘cause he wasn’t at all, but “my” Nines will always be unapologetically and only Troika’s: boiling angry, viciously pragmatic, a survivor who doesn’t let anyone too close lest they see through him, whose over-the-top confident façade cracks a little more every time his back’s against the wall. Troika’s Nines is the epitome of greater VTM’s “fallen rebel” archetype, and even though we don’t get to see it on all playthoughs, that makes it even better and more believable.

But as with all characterization in Bloodlines, we have to read between the lines and between our own play styles a bit to piece the truth of the puzzle together...

Besides the direct evidence Troika gives us—i.e. the music cues, which are a bit overbearing if I’m honest (sorry, Troika! ilu); the absence of Nines in Rosa’s prophecy re: people you can trust; and the overt warnings Camarilla-aligned characters give us about him—the biggest red flag about Rodriguez, imo? It’s twofold:

the way the characters he surrounds himself with talk about him and the type of vampire he chooses to fill his den. Namely: Nines exclusively recruits angry, spurned, mistreated people who are younger and far less experienced than he is

those messy, ugly, fleeting moments where you see his toughguy everyman personality crack

So! Starting with point one:

THE PERSONALITY CULT ITSELF

We can’t deny that Nines does not surround himself with peers. He surrounds himself with followers—people who don’t challenge him in any way, who are fanatically loyal, who openly profess their worship of him and their conviction he could never/would never do anything wrong. If you listen to how Damsel and Skelter talk about him, it’s with frightening adulation, often repeating Nines’s lines word-for-word without truly understanding the argumentation behind them. (Damsel’s the main offender here with her “IT’S A PYRAMID SCHEME… it just makes sense, you know? It just makes sense!” And then, of course, she gets pissed and refuses to speak to you when you push her into elaborating.)

Nines has clearly made himself much more than just a friend-figure or a Sire-figure to them. He’s utterly and completely mythologized by the LA Anarchs, held up next to other politically mythologized names like George Washington and Ho Chi Minh. His followers love him… but there’s a pecking order, and like good body shields, they believe their lives don’t matter as much as he matters. And they love that, too. They want to die for Nines. They’re not just willing to or resigned to it; they’re eager to die. Damsel will volunteer this information the first time you meet her. She just can’t wait to prove herself by taking a bullet for goddamn Nines Rodriguez. It’s literally how she introduces herself to new people.

And yet Nines deliberately withholds his attention and time from his followers. He uses his attention as a reward, as incentive. He rations some care and reassurance and help—makes you feel good and gives you reason to crave his attention—and then he pushes you away, back into his adoring ranks until the next “two minutes” you earn from him in which you’re special enough for such an exceptional, important, cool guy to talk to. That’s a classic manipulation tactic, and a classic personality cult tell.

And Troika is so damn fuckin’ brilliant about it because they don’t stop at showing us that an Anarch-aligned fledgling might feel this way—no, they make the PLAYER also feel this way. On our first playthrough of Bloodlines, we’re desperate to talk to Nines. We want the reward. “Let me finish the plaguebearer quests… let me run to the Elizabeth Dane… I hope Nines talks to me again now! Quick, to the Last Round! Maybe if I say the right thing to make him like me, he’ll give me another free EXPERIENCE POINT!” (iirc he’s one of two characters who will do so, and the only one who gives multiple points.)

But at the end of the day, Nines is indisputably the leader of the Anarchs, and even fledgling figures that out. (“Sounds like you’re the Prince of the Anarchs.”) He’s very much the Baron of Downtown LA, even if he won’t use that language. As for the grating day-to-day management and leadership stuff that might make him somewhat unpopular among the Anarchs, though? He fobs all that stuff off on Damsel!

Damsel, his Minion No. 1—whom a lot of players will hate on their early playthroughs, because she assigns tough missions with little to no reward. Damsel, who has no real power role in the Anarchs and functions only to serve Nines. You help Damsel, and you do Nines’s work—i.e. you do the work of the Barony of LA—and he doesn’t even have to take the admiration hit by having to ask you himself.

There’s only one non-follower of note around Nines. It’s Jack, and by his own words, he’s not one of Nines’s people; he disparages them, in fact. And we’ll notice that Jack—who is stronger, older, and wiser than Nines—very much doesn’t talk about Nines the same way Nines’s followers do. While Jack doesn’t directly insult him and occasionally defends him, Jack also has a downright shocking response to the announcement of the Blood Hunt. When fledgling desperately asks what they can do to help Nines—Jack says, word-for-word: I could give a damn.

Something ain’t quite right about this place.

Moving right along:

NINES IS A FAKE ALPHA MALE WHO KNOWS HE’S GOING TO DIE

Part of why Nines is so attractive to someone scared and weak like our fledgling (or Skelter or Damsel) is that he seems utterly fucking untouchable—like nothing scares him, and that must be reassuring when two of your age-old enemies are moving into town. But Nines’s tough, cool, Devil-may-care persona outs itself as a protective shell, too… and this is another thing I think Troika handled so subtly and so well.

You’ll notice that even Nines’s voice is dramatically different in a couple different situations: when Ming Xiao is borrowing his body, when he’s afraid, and when he’s distracted or deeply disturbed. (A successful Malkavian mind read will really slam a crack in his coolguy persona. For a second, the nonchalance shatters and he childishly screams SHUT UP!)

But whether you Malk him or not: In those isolated moments, the Coolguy Nines Rodriguez we normally see frays. Physically, even! His accent loses its burr (that ballsy rural American everyman accent), shoots up to a higher register—and reveals a much softer voice than the one he uses in front of other people. No wonder; part of Nines’s charisma comes from his performance of masculine confidence, and even if it’s not a toxically patriarchal masculinity in the way we often picture it, the fact this performance cracks at all shows it’s not his genuine self. He’s acting. In the way a lot of toughguy men do—but for Nines, whose survival depends upon attraction now, he’s acting toughguy for his very life.

I think those little fray-under-pressure moments are the “real” Nines, or as close as we’re going to get: scared, desperate, worn-down, and very aware of his doom.

Now, all that said…

BLATANT FALLEN REBEL CONCEPT APOLOGISM

I don’t think we can quite throw Rodriguez into the same Mean Monster Morality Dungeon for Evil Vampires as other Big Bads in LA. This is where motivation comes into play, at least for me. We know Nines can be merciless and violent, and he doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice his own soldiers (namely, um, US!) to protect his holdings. But he does seem to have a twinge of genuine anger over injustices wrought upon “little people” (look no further than Nocturne)—one that seems like it stems from a sense of right v. wrong rather than sheer pragmatism. This stands in stark opposition to the rationed pacificism of characters like LaCroix, who simply doesn’t want the headache of cleaning up a pile of dead humans on his nightly to-do list.

Nines also, of course, just doesn’t have the same kind of disaster reach other Bloodlines Big Bads do in how much harm he can cause. When LaCroix gets up to some bullshit, he crashes the national economy. Nines, like, crashes a car into a corporate office window or takes over a street or something. Can’t really compare the two when it comes to the scale of damage done.

And even Nines Rodriguez is, for all his strategy, still an honestly angry person. Not all of him is fake—what’s troubling about him is what he’s willing to sacrifice and do to satiate his anger-passion. It’s the standard Brujah emotional-moral struggle. Even though I agree with much of what he says about bloodsucking late capitalist vampires (tbh he seems to hate vampires in general!), one wonders if it’s not partially the anger-passion that’s warped him into the façade of a noble leader he’s become. It’s not a pure anger anymore; he’s weaponized it in selfish, unhealthy, destructive ways.

But if he’s a fallen rebel—and since he is still apparently capable of some genuine anger and sadness—then we can infer he wasn’t always like this. He fell, and narratively, that’s key to understanding Clan Brujah. Maybe he fell in a way all of us angry rebel-types risk falling if we let our hatred of the bloodsuckers in real life outgrow and consume our care for the real-world little people.

I think we also have to appreciate that—as far as we know—the shady shit Nines does, he primarily does to prolong his power. But for a threatened Anarch like Nines, power doesn’t mean expansion or accumulation as it might for an ascending Ventrue; it primarily means survival. The Camarilla and Kuei-jin incursions into LA have numbered his days, and he can’t possibly have any delusions about this, no matter how much he swaggers. So he does what he can do with the skills and limited resources he has. He corrupts vulnerable, angry, abused people by giving them the appearance of friendship, family, and hope they can become stronger—much like effective gang leaders do.

If he’s morally nastier than other power-players like LaCroix in some way, imo, it’s here. It’s the intimacy with which he manipulates the people around him. LaCroix may lie to you; Strauss may withhold information from you; Ming Xiao may double-cross you. But none of them ask that you love them. That’s not their goal; that’s not how they operate. None of them expect or encourage anyone to happily die for them of their own free will. If they get you killed, you’ll die resenting them—resenting that you had to die, at all.

But when you die for people like Nines Rodriguez, you do it willingly, if only because you believed he cared somehow and that he’d fight tooth-and-nail for you, too. You believed that you were a member of his little outcast family—or that you would be, if you just proved yourself a little bit more. If you just fought a little harder. If you were just a little happier about having the chance to die for the cause. Maybe if you die for Nines, then Nines will love you, too.

I don’t think he does. I don’t think he will. If he’s a true fallen rebel archetype, I don’t know if he can anymore.

That’s enough Anarchs for now! I’m gonna peace out with some copy/pasted lyrics from the theme song of Nines’s den: the ballad of the charming and vengeful Lecher Bitch. Stay sharp, my little Bloodlines fanatics!

Tell me your story Don't worry, I've been there Crown me your savior Don't worry, I'll be there

[Chorus] I said hey You're coming all the way I've got some hell to pay I'm diggin' all the way All the way down I said hey You're coming all the way I've got some hell to pay Gonna rip you every way On the way down again [Bridge] Don't belong lording above me Won't be hard to pull you underground It won't be long 'til you love me And I'll be coming at your back To break it down

[poisxnyouth]

bad influence dave (d.d) part 1 I guess

A/N: unfortunately, your girl can’t write 15k in 24 hours. but I think I slept 10/24 of those hours, so, like...I think I did pretty good. enjoy. talk to me while you read. I like when y’all tell me what to do...….let’s do that again. I want to post more, so maybe this is how we can get that done ??? either way, enjoy & let me know what you think & keep sending me concepts on this - it’s superrrr hot. love u. thank you for reading my stupid shit. xoxo hailey

word count: 6k (i’m sorry)

Michael, your coworker, drags you to a house party after work – if you didn't know any better, you'd think it’s a shitty shindig organized entirely by high schoolers from across the neighborhood. You’re not sure whose house it is, and you didn't think Michael was interested in this lifestyle; he’s happily married, and his son is going to be baptized by your father next week. 

 Apparently, he is, though, and he ditches you almost immediately, whisked away by people calling his name. You don’t mind it – you didn’t want to babysit him all night, anyway. You wander, half-assedly making yourself a drink in the kitchen just to have something to hold in your hands. 

 You sit yourself on a couch in a relatively empty room, coffee table littered with items you couldn't even identify if you wanted to. You take sips of your drink, hating every second of it, eyes scanning your surroundings as you attempt to find something worth paying attention to. 

 Michael is your only truly comfortable solace in the entire house, and you’re not sure as to what his location is or what he’s doing. You don’t know anyone else, and it’s not exactly your scene: a Father’s daughter should never be in a place like this. Your father would have a stroke if he knew your whereabouts – even though you’re now a grown adult woman living alone. 

 A man sits next to you, speaking to someone across the room as he shuffles through items on the coffee table. You catch his eyes as you move to uncomfortably scroll through your phone in an attempt to divert his gaze.

 “Hey, sweetheart,” he breaks, fiddling with wrappers, “What’s up? I’ve never seen you at any of these things before.” 

 You shrug, blush coming to your cheeks as you feel his eyes linger on your necklace – a crucifix you’ve had since birth. He doesn't say anything for a moment, admiring the redness in your face, before breaking, “What’s your name?” 

 You clear your throat and tell him, not meeting his stare as he opens a jar and plucks what you assume a bud of weed is from it, tearing it up with his fingers. 

 “You speak!” He gasps, making light fun, “I’m David. Good to see you. You want me to roll you one?” 

 You shake your head, murmuring a No – thank you, though. as you watch his fingers habitually roll up either a joint or a blunt (you don’t know the difference, and don’t especially care all that much). He nods respectfully as he licks at the paper delicately, meeting your eyes. 

 David folds the paper and sticks it together, speaking, “You’re cute as all hell...Are you here with anyone?”

 “Um...Michael,” you inform him anxiously, cup still in your hands, “Michael Paul.”

 “Michael?” David asks, surprised as he glances down at your hands, searching for a ring, “You’re not Abby.”

 “You know Abby?” you respond, “She’s...She’s in New York for the week. I’m, um, babysitting him, I guess.”

 “Of course, I know Abby,” he replies, acting as if it’s an obvious fact as he shrugs his shoulders, lighting whatever he just rolled, “I’m their dealer, honey. This is my place. He didn't tell you that?” 

 You chew at your lips, embarrassed at your ignorance, fingers moving to play with the charm of your necklace as you shake your head, eyes at the floor.

 He cocks his head, gaze zeroing in on you, “This isn't really your scene, huh?” David doesn’t mean it in a rude way; he’s just trying to get you to talk. You’re too cute for him to not attempt conversation.

 You shake your head again, muttering, “No, not really. Michael dragged me here.” 

 He tuts, nodding politely, “You sure you don’t want me to roll you something? Or get you a pipe or something? You’re drinking the throwaway shit I didn’t want so I put it out – Michael’s downstairs hitting Adrian’s shitty DIY Rick and Morty bong, if you were wondering.” 

 “I don’t,” you stutter slightly, afraid to meet his eyes, “I’ve never smoked before. I’m not even drinking this...” 

 “Oh!” David exclaims, going silent for a moment, finishing what he was smoking, “Well...It’s a good time to smoke for the first time, if you want to. There’s really not a better time to try it than now, and I can stay with you, but if you don’t want to-”

 “I think I do,” you admit, sheepish, thinking of how disappointed God probably is in you, “Just, um, help me with it? Please?” 

 He nods, leaning towards the coffee table and beginning his process all over again silently. 

 “How much do you know about weed, sweetheart?” David asks dubiously, taking his time.

 “Um...I know what it looks like,” you admit, feeling more sheltered than you ever have before.

 He laughs slightly as he folds the paper in, explaining politely, “I’m rolling you a blunt. The wrap is made of tobacco leaves. I’ll teach you how to roll later, if you want.”

 It’s presumptuous of him to assume you’ll be back to see him again, but he doesn't acknowledge it, continuing, “This is my best shit. I don't deal it, so don't tell Mikey-boy about it or he’ll be up my ass begging for it. I don't know what strain it is – I just know it’s a hybrid.”

 You don’t ask him to elaborate as he finishes rolling it, “You ready, hon?” 

 David sees you make a slight face, scoffing humorously.

 "Baby," he urges, too comfortable with the nickname, yet to use your real name even though he knows it, "Try it. It won't kill you, I promise." David holds up the blunt he just rolled to you, still unlit. He quickly explains what baking the blunt is and what purpose it serves as he runs the flame over the seam of the dried leaves. He passes it to you, eyes dropping to your mouth as you prop it between your lips. He lights it for you, blowing out the flame at the end and watching you hit it for the first time.

 You cough wildly, eyes watering as you pass it back to him, shaking your head and sniffling as you attempt to recover. He laughs at you lightly, amused, "Let’s try this. Just...suck in the smoke after me, okay?"

 You nod as he scoots closer next to you and brings it to his lips, taking a drag and quickly ghosting it. He gently tips your head towards him, your chin between his thumb and index finger. He's too comfortable with you for just meeting each other fifteen minutes prior, and you realize this as he hovers his mouth over yours and gently blows the smoke. You do as David told you, sucking up the smoke as much as you can before he pulls away, staring at you and expecting you to cough.

 You don't, exhaling remnants of his smoke easily. A smile tugs at his lips, blunt still between his fingers as his eyebrows raise, "Better, yeah? 'S shotgunning. I think it's kinda hot, but maybe it's just me."

 You continue the back and forth of shotgunning until you're high. It doesn't take long for you, and he finishes the blunt for you, high off his ass. David eyes your mouth and begins to lean in, free hands moving to your waist. 

 He kisses you gently, keeping his hands to himself, before pulling away, speaking, "Sorry. I didn’t ask. Is this okay?"

 You nod against him, fists tangling into his t-shirt, pulling him closer and attaching your mouths. He leans out gently after a few seconds, "Nah. We shouldn't – not when we're both as high as we are – but if you want me in your guts anytime soon, just lemme know. I’m down...The weed won't kill you, but these will," he pulls out a pack of Camel cigs from his breast pocket, shaking the pack slightly and removing one. David lights it and tosses the pack onto the coffee table, "...You want one?"

 “Sure,” you shrug, your father's face passing momentarily through your brain as he passes you one. He lights it for you, his stare too overwhelming as he watches for your reaction.

 “I like you,” he compliments simply, smoking a filtered Camel, arm draped around the back of your seat.

 At first, you cough at the cigarette smoke, too – you’re loosened up now, but still painfully shy as David continues to speak with you, “So, what's your deal? Why’re you so bashful? I mean...it’s cute.” 

 “Oh, um,” you blush again, feeling the warmth from his body radiate onto your skin, “My father is the priest at the big cathedral in the center of town...St. John’s the Baptist.”

 “Ohhh,” he nods understandingly, motioning to your crucifix, “Makes sense.” 

 He deadpans, “So, would he be upset with you if you were with a guy like me? What about your mom? Any siblings?”

 You breathe heavier at his questions, heart beating faster as you glance at his lips, “Yes. Two brothers. They would all kill me if they even knew I was here.” 

 “So, why are you?” David quips, “Just being nosy. If you didn't want to be here, you wouldn't have stayed.” 

 It seems like he’s getting closer and closer to you the more you speak, and you’re confused as to why you don't mind it, “...’Cause you started talking to me…”

 “Ah,” he tuts, putting his cigarette out and taking yours from your fingers, smoking on it since you barely did, “That’s sweet.”

 David can feel the innocence radiating from you, getting the balls to ask the question he is dying to know the answer to, “Are you pure?”

 Your eyes widen and you clear your throat, deciding to swallow all of the liquor in your cup before replying, “Yes.”

 He knew that was going to be your answer, pressing, “So... nothing? Ever? Not even a little…” he quickly motions jerking off, “In the back of some prick’s car when you were sixteen?”

 “Um,” you shift in your seat, eyes on his, “No... Just-just kissing. My dad has always threatened us with the sixth and ninth Commandments...they teach specifically against sins of the flesh.” 

 “Wow,” he scoffs, growing bolder, “Would you break that for me? Let me ruin that for you?”

 You inhale sharply as he stares into your eyes, completely inscrutable as he waits for your response, “Um…”

 You feel your heart rate speed up as you gaze at his mouth, never quite feeling this way before as you push your thighs together involuntarily. David immediately clocks it, eyes darting to your legs before breaking, “Can I take that as a yes? Not tonight, obviously, but…” 

 His voice drops, lower in volume, “Just say the word.” He leans in closer to you, your lips almost touching as David tilts his head, waiting for your response, “We can start off slow. I can teach you one thing at a time – God, I want to teach you everything.” 

 “Yes,” you agree, breathless, “Yes, please. I want it.”

 You don't know what’s come over you for this man to challenge your lifelong beliefs after thirty minutes of knowing him, and you certainly don't think it’s from the weed. David kisses you again, tongue easily slipping into your mouth as his hands come to your waist, sliding down gently to feel the shape of your figure in his palms.

 This is bordering the most you’ve ever done with a guy, even at twenty-two years old, and he is such a good kisser that you don't notice when one of his hands land at the base of your neck. Your hands run over the width of his shoulders as his teeth tug at your bottom lip, eliciting a whine from the back of your throat. 

 You’re immediately embarrassed and he feels you flush against his face, leaning out of the kiss and removing his touch. You already feel somehow less whole as he scoots away and wipes at his mouth, reaching towards the coffee table for what you assume is his phone. 

 David unlocks it, demanding as he passes the device to you, “Give me your number, sugar.”

 You type it in along with your name, “Shouldn't I... Um, shouldn't I get yours too?” 

 He tuts, standing, “I’ll text you, sweetheart. Don't worry about it.” 

 You stand, too, and David notices the way you mirror him – once you go any further together, he knows you’re going to follow him around like a puppy dog. 

 ++

 Two weeks later, you see him again. You beg Michael to take you to another one of David’s “get-togethers” after you hear nothing but radio silence from him. You think of him every day and every night, an irreparable longing inside of you only he can fix. You feel guilty for it, attempting to pray the hormones away, but they remain: Every day that passes, you want him even more badly. 

 You have no evidence of your interaction besides the memory of how his hands felt on your skin and what his mouth tasted like; or how easily the pet names he called you had effortlessly rolled off of his tongue, like he had been doing it for an extended amount of time.  

 You tag along with Michael and Abby this time around, and David sees you walk in with them, halting the conversation he was having with a customer and moving to go speak to you. He waves off your company to ensure he can speak to you without their lingering presence, much to say.

 “You’re back,” David states, “I’ve been meaning to get a hold of you, I promise. Just super busy. Downside to dealing is how much time it takes up.” He doesn't wait for your response, walking to the kitchen. You follow him, as he knew you would, and he leans against his granite counters. 

 “What are you drinking tonight, honey?” 

 You shrug, beginning to blush at the pet name, “Whatever you want me to.” 

 “Good answer,” he replies, moving to begin working, “My day job is bartending. Right now, at least, dealing isn't enough to pay all of the bills. I’ll give you what I usually drink.” 

 David pours you a double whisky, neat, and passes the glass to you. You glance at it and its lack of added ingredients, and he chuckles softly, “Just drink it, baby. Don’t be a pussy.” 

 He seems all too satisfied when you obey his wishes, arms crossing casually as he watches you take a large gulp. He drinks this?

 David stands up straight from his spot against the counter, leaning down and dropping his voice, “Meet me where we were last time. I’ll be up in a few – I’ve gotta go talk to a customer. I want the glass empty when I see you next. Got it?” 

 You nod, eyes on his before his hand finds the small of your back, generally guiding you through the people to the stairs before he disappears. You go upstairs and locate the room, placing yourself on the couch and scrolling through your phone while forcing yourself to finish your drink as he asked you to. With some valor, you do, chugging it and wishing you had a chaser. 

 David makes an appearance ten minutes into your wait, apologizing, “Sorry, sweetheart. I didn't think it’d take that long. The kid does not know how to shut up.” 

 You shrug, unbothered, as he glances at the cup, complimenting you and motioning to it, “Good girl!” 

 “Baby,” he pauses, fixed gaze on you, “What do you want from me?” 

 You cock your head, confused, “I... I thought we already talked about this…?” 

 “We did. You’re taking it the wrong way,” David admires your eagerness to please while remaining truthful, “What do you want from me right now?” 

 “Oh,” you reply, blush returning to your cheeks as you feel stupid, “Umm...I was hoping you would decide.” 

 “Okay,” he replies easily, nodding his head, “But in a minute. How often do you drink?” 

 “Not...Not too much, why? Maybe, like, once every few months? But I never get drunk, if that’s what you’re asking.” David doesn't reply, murmuring an ‘I’ll be right back.’ and leaving the room. 

 Not even three minutes later, he’s returned with another drink, “Screwdriver. You’ll like this one better. Finish it.” 

 You do, and he watches as your throat undulates as you swallow, feeling his dick twitch in his pants at the sight. He takes the glass from you and slides it onto the coffee table, scooting closer to you.

 “You’re so innocent,” David comments, body heat radiating into your skin, “You don't want to stay that way?”

 You shake your head, eyes on the floor, “No. I feel like a child.” 

 “Mm,” he makes an approving noise, “Look at me.”

 You obey him, again, forcing him to continue, “I’ve got you, Y/N. Is that why you came back here?”

 “...Yes,” you reply, noticing it's the first time he actually acknowledges your real name. 

 “Good choice,” David responds, “Let me kiss you.” 

 He attaches your mouths, and you taste him again: a few beers mixed with his cigarettes. It becomes one with the orange juice and vodka you just ingested, and you feel his hand creep up the tops of your thighs.

 You gasp slightly into his mouth before he responds, “Don’t worry, honey. I’ll keep my hands to myself.” David keeps his promise, even though part of you wishes he wouldn't. 

 He moves you so you’re now positioned in his lap, hands respectfully on your waist as the bulge in his shorts brushes ever so slightly against your pussy under your dress. He doesn't acknowledge it and doesn't acknowledge how hard his dick is, mouth remaining on yours. 

 David kind of feels like a teenager, making out with a virgin at a house party, but he doesn't mind it whatsoever: you’re cute, and you’re giving him the chance to ruin you. 

 “Can I touch you?” He finds himself asking you mid-kiss, and you sheepishly nod your head. Slowly, taking his time with it, his hand slides up your inner thigh, palming your pussy gently as you involuntarily buck up against his touch, making a soft noise. 

 “Wow,” he remarks simply into your mouth at your reaction while you blush against his face, your hands on his shoulders. He doesn't do anything else and savors the moment you try to move against him, hating that he feels the need to grab at your hips and get you to stop. 

 You do, murmuring a quiet ‘Sorry…’ as David slides both of his hands under your loose-fitting dress, grazing the hems of your underwear and stopping at your waist, feeling at the bare skin and curves there. 

 You’re warm and drunk, now, and as he realizes this, he pulls out of your kisses and sets you back next to him. 

 “You’re drunk, honey,” David says, moving to light a cigarette, “I knew you would be, but not this quickly.” 

 “But wait,” you whine, hand on his shoulder, “No. David...I want it.” 

 He chuckles, leaning back in his seat, “I’m sure you do, sweetheart, but I’m not doing anything with you when I’m sober and you’re not.” 

 “Ugh,” you groan, “But I want you.” You scoot closer to him and kiss at his neck, trying to leave a mark. Admittedly, though, you don’t know how to. 

 “How do I leave a hickey on you?” you ask, fingers tracing against the wet spot in the crook of his neck. 

 “No,” he says simply, politely pushing away your touches, “Maybe next time.” 

 “If you even text me…” you roll your eyes, visibly pouting. 

 “Look, baby,” David says, defensive, “I mean this as nicely as possible: A virgin should not be getting upset with me for trying to make their experiences good. Don't be a brat just because you’re needy and have never had it before. The day will come, so: sit down, keep your hands to yourself unless I say otherwise, and smoke a blunt with me. Got it?” 

 “You’re so hot,” you drunkenly compliment, sinking back into your seat and fiddling with your hands, “Got it.”

 “Good,” he replies, putting out his cigarette. You are drunk, and you can barely focus as his hand grabs at your thigh, just above your knee. He tugs you closer before removing his touch, a silent indication of wanting you to scoot next to him. 

 He quickly rolls it with expertise, “Let’s see if you can smoke it by yourself this time.” 

 David gently holds the blunt with his thumb and index finger, lighting it and passing it to you. You fail again, lungs and throat rejecting the smoke. 

 You quietly apologize, sniffling as you pass it back to him.

 “It’s okay,” he promises reassuringly, taking a hit and giving it back to you, “Try again.” 

 You breathe in the smoke slowly, unknowingly taking a large hit. He roots for you, “Hold it, sweetheart. Hold it. Don't cough. Don’t laugh. It’ll make it hurt more. Hold it. Alright, blow it out. You did so good.” 

 You feel lightheaded as you exhale into the room and pass it back to him, resting your head on his shoulder. He chuckles, arm draping around your shoulders and leaning back into the couch, “I’ll give you a little rest after that one. That was a huge hit. It would probably knock me out. Give it a minute to settle in.” 

 You close your eyes, feeling your heart in your throat as you feel him continue to smoke. He gets your attention before taking another hit, “Sugar. Look at me.” 

 You do, and he tips your face upwards, mouth hovering over yours as you get the hint and inhale. David shotguns with you sporadically before he finishes off the blunt, tossing the roach into his ashtray. 

 “You’re crossed, baby. Crossfaded,” he says casually, arm still around you, “You should go home and ride it out.” 

 You don't want to, and he can read it on your face, “I’ll get you an Uber and text you when I get off tomorrow. I’ll come pick you up and we can hang, okay? I promise. You’ll be okay.” 

 You nod slowly before his lips are momentarily on yours, “Okay. Go downstairs. You don't need me to stay with you. I’ll tell Mikey and Abs.”

 ++

 He does text you when he gets off, and you’re as much surprised that he followed through with it as you are impressed with yourself for actually remembering his promise. 

 David takes you back to his place; everything he owns seems to smell like weed, and his house is now quiet, as it's just you two. You're startled when David unbuttons his black dress shirt, shrugging it off and tossing it on to his couch as he makes his way to the kitchen. He tugs at the neck of his black t-shirt, pulling it off and throwing it to the couch, giving his dress shirt some company. He’s shirtless, now, slacks sitting on his hips as he opens his fridge. 

 “Sorry, I’m fucking starving and those clothes are hot as hell. I’ve been working since nine this morning,” David rifles through the contents of his fridge and freezer, unhappy with the selection, “I don't want any of this. Let’s go somewhere.” 

 “You bartend at nine in the morning?” you ask, leaning nervously against his kitchen counter.

 “I know, right?” he scoffs, “All of the alcoholics come in before they have to go to work. It’s the same people every day. It feels like Groundhog Day.”

 You follow him as he grabs his dirty clothes and goes upstairs, and you presumably end up in his room: bed made, room spotless. 

 “I have roommates, but they work more than I do, ‘cause I get the profits from dealing. They’re messy, but I’m not,” he explains nonchalantly, placing his clothes in a hamper as he kicks his shoes off, “Can’t stand anything being strewn everywhere. I don't know why they can’t just pick up after themselves, but I’m also not gonna clean up after them. I lock the door to my room when we throw parties.” 

 “I’m so sorry, honey,” he says regretfully, “Can I shower? It’ll take me five minutes.” 

 You shrug, “No worries. Go ahead. Take your time.”

 “Sweet,” David rifles through his drawers and grabs shorts and a hoodie, “Give me a few.” 

 He shuts his bathroom door and you hear the shower turn on. You take this time to glance around his room: work clothes hung neatly on hangers in his closet, shoes organized at the bottom on a shelf, photos of what you assume are his family taped on the borders of the mirror on top of his chest of drawers. You want to snoop, sneakily opening a drawer in his nightstand. It contains condoms, cigarettes, weed, and other items you can't identify. Even his drawers are organized, and you didn't think he would have a clean bone in his body. 

 At least he’s safe about some things, you guess, shutting the drawers as you hear the water shut off. David emerges shortly afterwards, running his towel through his hair, clad in socks and gym shorts. You try to keep your eyes to yourself as he bends over, grabbing a random shirt from one of his drawers and pulling it on. 

 “What happened to your back?” you ask, nosy as you think about the visible thin striped scars going down the length and width of his back – too thick and too straight to be stretch marks.

 He scoffs as he tugs his shoes on – either well-taken care of or brand-new Vans – admitting, “Girls.”

 You make a face, confused, before he clarifies, “Sex. I don’t mind it, though. I know I do a good job.” 

 He tosses his dirty towel into his hamper, grabbing his keys and shoving them into his pocket. Hoodie draped over his forearm, he steps towards you, “Let’s go, baby.” You look up at him as he tips your head up and leans in, giving you the first kiss of the night. His hand moves from your chin to your waist, pulling your hips closer to his. David feels you get bold and handsy, running your hand down the front of his torso. 

 He pulls away, hand on the small of your back, “Hands to yourself, remember?” 

 “S-sorry,” you apologize, removing your hand, “I thought that was because I was drunk.” 

 “No,” he replies, eyes on yours, “It’s because you’re the virgin here. I’m not going to just fuck you and send you home.” 

 “I’m controlling the way this goes,” David explains, “I’ll make it good for you. Besides, isn't it so much hotter to go slowly?” His lips are millimeters from yours, eyes hooded as he stares between your lips and eyes. 

 “Whatever you say,” you respond, blush apparent in your cheeks, “I’m not even sure if I know what's hot.” 

 “Holy shit,” he breathes, pulling you closer, “You don't even know what you like?” 

 You shake your head, embarrassed, before David kisses you quickly, stepping away and opening his bedroom door, “This is going to be so much fucking fun.”

 ++

 You’re not hungry, and it feels awkward watching him eat with no conversation to make. He’s thinking the same thing, but neither of you pay it any mind: you’re both grown, you can handle it for half an hour.

 David drives back to his place, no hands on you, and you realize he takes good care of his car, too: it feels brand new. You ask him about it, noting how he takes care of his belongings.

 “Thank you,” he responds earnestly, lighting a cigarette, “It’s ingrained in me, I guess. When me and my family moved to America, it was all that my parents asked of me. We didn't have much, so we had to take care of what we did have.” 

 “You’re not from here?” you genuinely question, “That's cool. When and where did you move from?” 

 “No, I’m not,” he chuckles softly, “Slovakia. Moved when I was six.”

 “I’m a DACA recipient, so, like,” David clears his throat, “If we’re ever at a party and the cops show up and you’re with me, we need to be the first ones outta there. Whoever's hosting will usually tell me. My nightmare is getting deported.” 

 You nod, going quiet, nothing left to say. 

 “Nice of you to notice, though,” he continues, tossing his cigarette out of his window and moving his free hand to your thigh, “You’re sweet, honey.” 

 You blush at the action as he pulls into his driveway, rolling his window up and shutting the car off. 

 The tension between you returns as you follow him upstairs into his room, him ordering you, “On the bed, baby.” 

 David's never been one to love hand jobs – not when he could do the same thing by himself a million times better – but the opportunity of being able to teach a girl from scratch how to give one exactly the way he likes it is too good for him to not take. 

 You both kick your shoes off and climb into it, bed still made as he wastes no time, tugging his shirt off and pulling your face to his and kissing you as he lies down. You keep your hands to yourself as he told you to earlier before he grabs at one of them, placing it in the middle of his chest and slowly running it down his torso. His hand remains over yours, controlling its movements as he pushes your hand over the bulge in his shorts, his hips bucking up slightly. 

 “Keep it there,” David tells you before kissing you again, removing his hand from yours and grasping at your waist. His hands move slightly lower and he already feels how breathless you are into his kisses. Images of his dick in your hands run through his brain, and he twitches under your touch, dick gradually growing bigger.

 You change nothing about your hand placement or pressure as you feel him grow beneath your fingers, his hips moving slightly as he leans out. He moves your face with his fingers, squishing your cheeks up momentarily for you to look towards his dick as he tugs his underwear and shorts down.  

 You exhale sharply at the sight of his dick, heat coming to your cheeks, before he demands, “Spit on it. Nothing else. Don’t touch. Look at me while you do.” 

 You scoot yourself further down the bed so you can obey, sucking up the spit you have in your mouth, heart beating out of your chest. His fingers thread through your hair and holds it back as he gently reminds you, sensing your anxiety, “Don’t be so nervous, honey. I’ve got you.” 

 You nod slightly before you meet his eyes and do as you’re told, his mouth dropping open slightly at the sight of the excess saliva dripping from your lips. You wipe at your mouth as he politely tugs you away, fingertips leaving your hair and moving to grasp his dick. 

 David side eyes you as he strokes himself slightly, “Can I see you?” 

 You nod, forcing yourself to tear your eyes away from his movements, mouth wanting to water. His free hand tugs at the hem of your dress and he realizes you’re always wearing dresses – he doesn't question it, writing it off as a weird overtly-Catholic thing and not thinking of it again as you lift it off of you. 

 He didn't think you’d reach around and unhook your bra, but he doesn't complain, staring at your tits and grabbing at them. David breathes heavily, “Watch my hand.” 

 You do, lips parted as you watch him work over himself, wanting him in your mouth – even if you have no idea how to do it. He twists his grasp near the base of his dick, moving upwards and running his palm over the head with every stroke. 

 “Fuck,” he curses, watching you watch him and removing his touch, “You do it. I’ll guide you.” 

 “Do...do you want me to take my rings off?” 

 “No,” he replies, “It’ll be okay, honey.” 

 David eyes the crucifix around your neck as it dangles while you lean forward, his free hand running gently down your spine as you wrap your fingers around him. 

 “Don’t grab as tight as you think,” he advises as you begin moving your hand, “Oh, fuck. Perfect.” 

 “Slower,” he tells you, “Oh, God, yes. Look at me.” 

 He pushes your hair behind your shoulders as you glance up at him, his mouth slightly agape. Your hands are smaller than his and more precise, and he can't believe the best handy he’s ever received is from a God-fearing virgin. 

 “Faster, sugar. Spit again,” he orders, grunting as you obey him, “Good girl. Just like that.” 

 His hips fuck up into your hand, “Use your other hand and touch under the head. Quick.”

 You do, running your fingertips under where you think he’s talking about, eyes still glued to his.

 “Fuck, yes,” he grunts, eyes rolling back into his head and throwing his head back against his pillows. David’s hand rests on your back affectionately as he looks up at the ceiling, getting closer. 

 “Oh, baby, I’m close,” he doesn't know why he’s never told a girl what he likes when getting jerked off, because this is the first time he’s actually enjoyed it. 

 David decides to just cum all over your hands, eyes rolling back again and grunting as he orgasms. You switch between watching his face twist up as he gasps, breathing heavily, and watching the way his dick pulses as he cums over your fingers and his hips jerk up. He cums on his stomach slightly, his eyes closed as you assume he’s now spent. 

 “Give me a second,” he excuses breathlessly, “Oh, fuck. I’ve never cum that hard from a handy. I don't even think with myself.” 

 He opens his eyes, sitting up, “You have two choices. You can either clean up the mess on your hands with a washcloth, or you can lick it up, or both. It’s your call.” 

 You stare at him for a moment, unresponsive, “Um. No... Can you pick for me? Please?” 

 David laughs softly, tugging his shorts up and deciding to not make you nasty yet, “Go wash your hands, honey. Washcloths are in the cabinet by the shower. Quickly – you don't want that to dry on you, I promise.”

 You nod, getting off of the bed and making your way to his bathroom. It’s as clean and organized as his bedroom is, and you wash and dry your hands, grabbing a washcloth from the cabinet he indicated. There are more condoms – how many does he need? – but you don’t focus on it, drying your hands and running the fabric under warm water. You bring it to him and gently wipe away the cum on his stomach without his asking; David is blown away and flattered as to how much you so obviously want to earn his praise. 

 You make sure to toss it in his hamper before sliding back onto his bed, not entirely sure what to do next. 

 “Lie down, baby,” he tells you, arm wrapping around you and tugging you into his chest, “You did so good.”

 You’re silent for a few moments, before you break, “Do you have a big dick?” 

 That genuinely makes him laugh, “I have heard that it’s big...and very hard to take. Just a warning.” 

 “Take?” you question, looking up at him confusedly. 

 “There have been a lot of times where it doesn't fit.”

 “Oh.”

 “Yeah. Good luck, sweetheart, but I won't hurt you.”

[mercyxkilling]

[ ♛ ] send me a url and i'll tell you...

@emptyvictory said: ♛ + my url if we're copying each other? Lol

[ ♛ ] send me a url and i'll tell you the following;

my opinion on;

character in general: oh my god. niko bellic. i can’t explain to you the love affair that i have with this sassy ass motherfucker of a man and how much i want to hold him close and tell him that he’s good enough, though i bet he’d shove me away and tell me to never do that shit again and that i’m weird for doing it at all. he’s got such an amazing duality to him that i am in love with because like. yeah, he’ll fucking kill a buncha dudes, but then he’ll have a conversation in the car with a buddy about how he’s okay with saving some lives or some shit. he’s known to play peacemaker for some, but he’s also willing to smash a cameraman’s face in by kicking his foot through his skull because he doesn’t want to be on manny’s show. then when manny dies he says some callous ass shit about it and then goes about his business like nothing happened. niko is such a good man, he really is, but he’s also not at the same time, and is capable of doing such awful things. characters like that have always had a special place in my heart, and niko is no different. that accent helps an awful lot, too, lemme tell ya. it gives ya girl the vapors. *fans self* which is funny because i don’t actually find the man to be conventionally attractive, but all of that stuff i mentioned above? i mean... i’d let him touch me. i can’t lie.  how they play them: now, rory, i know we’ve had this discussion before, but i’m going to say it again (to fuel your ego because i absolutely love doing that because i want you to feel as special as you truly are, and just because this is how i actually feel and i want to keep being honest about this stuff because secrets don’t make friends!!): if there were anyone else behind the wheel here taking charge of this slavic badass, i’m not so sure i’d even be interested in trying to have a thread with them at all. you bring such a take to this man that i cannot truly explain with words in an adequate way that could do you and what you do with him any justice. it’s just... an experience. and it’s an experience that i have loved from the moment we started all the way up till now, and i know i’ll feel the same way (and still quite as strongly!!) with anything and everything that we do in the future, be it with threads or asks or things in discord or just nonsensical little back-and-forths that we share once in a while when the mood strikes us. i love everything that we’ve done/are doing/will do, and i cannot fully describe to you just how much more i still want to have with you. i’m like mercy is with niko apparently; i’m fucking insatiable with these two. they’ve somehow become my OTP and that’s truly saying something since the last one i had lasted forever (all the way up to this point tbh--the one i told you about with my RDR verse where mercy and jack were supposed to get married? like, it’s managed to override even THAT one in my heart, that’s how much these two mean to me). i will never tire of niko x mercy content, i will ALWAYS want to hear your ideas about them, i will ALWAYS want to hear any ideas that you have for them--no matter how big or or how small they might seem, i will ALWAYS want to hear any ideas you might have for AUs with these two... i mean. i think you get the picture, yeah? BUT IF YOU DON’T COME FIND ME ON DISCORD AND I’LL GLADLY ELABORATE EVEN MORE IF YOU WANT, BECAUSE I COULD TALK ABOUT THESE FUCKERS FOR HOURS. I MEAN, YOU KNOW THAT I ALREADY HAVE, SO DON’T THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME HERE, LMAOOOO. the mun: oh god, rory. ohgodohgodohgod. there are so many things that i want to say here, but i feel like you’ve heard me say them a thousand times already. i just... i want to make sure that you know that i love you, first and foremost. a lot of folks seem to think i throw the word ‘love’ around far too freely, but i very much beg to differ; i only use it when i truly mean it and when it truly means something to me. do with that knowledge what you will. you are such a treasure to me, and i can’t tell you how happy i am that you’re apart of my life and how much i wish we lived closer to one another so we could be silly together and i could actually ruffle your hair and give you platonic forehead smooches and wish you a good day at school each morning and then see you after classes and ask you about your day and talk to you about anything and everything as we sat side by side and watched some garbage like ancient aliens or played some ridiculous video games together while coming up with scenarios, both of us being like “oh my god, could you imagine if niko and mercy ____ together???” and things like that. but even if we aren’t closer, it doesn’t make me value your time that you give to me any less, and it doesn’t make me love the time that we spend talking with one another any less, either. i adore you so fucking much. i just... i just really, really, really love you, and i wish i could show you that better than just with some writing or a crappy doodle here and there you know? you deserve such good things. all the good things in life, in fact, and i wish i were capable of giving them to you. but i hope that you know that i truly am grateful for your presence in my life, i can’t imagine my experience here (or away from here and over on discord instead!) without you, as you’ve become such an integral part of my experience on this hellsite. niko and mercy are my OTP, and i’m yours for as long as you’ll have me, and you are very much stuck with me!

do i;

follow them: bitch, please. of fucking course i do. i can’t imagine not following rory. rp with them: as much as i possibly can and hopefully then some; i can’t get enough of niko and any other characters they want to introduce me to that they think mercy could mesh well with... or that she couldn’t mesh well with and yet could still make an amazing dynamic all the same. :P want to rp with them: are... are you illiterate? YES. ALL THE TIME. ALL DAY, ERRYDAY.  ship their character with mine: one more time, for those in the back, and with feeling!: YES, YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES. i am so, so, so grateful that niko is part of mercy’s narrative (and honestly, i may even make it so that he’s part of her actual main backstory, that’s how much their relationship means to me and how much it’s allowed me to see her in so many different ways).

what is my;

overall opinion: holy shit i love you and i love niko and i love the way you play him and i love the way you really show his duality and i love the way he learned to respect mercy and how that respect turned to admiration and the way that admiration turned to full on attraction and how that attraction turned to awkward dating but not dating and how that awkward dating but not dating eventually turned into actual dating and how that led to mercy finally kissing him and how that kiss made him feel relief more than anything else but then how all of that turned into something even more awkward and how that led to mercy realizing finally how much she actually truly loved him despite never having been in love and despite the hurt that it caused and the way they both dealt with it (two hardened killers acting like BABIES omggggg) until finally, finally they were able to come to terms with it and are now left wondering where they’re supposed to go from here since they’ve never done anything like this before... AND ALL THE AUs WE COULD HAVE AND HOW THAT COULD END UP FOR THEM BOTH HAS ME SO FUCKING EXCITED BECAUSE WE COULD GET A CHANCE TO SEE THEM BEHAVE IN A DIFFERENT WAY LIKE WHAT IF THEY START OUT HATING EACH OTHER BUT HAVE A MUTUAL ATTRACTION BECAUSE NIKO’S LIKE ‘GODDAMN THIS BITCH IS STACKED BUT SHE’S GOT SUCH A MOUTH ON HER UGH’ OR MAYBE THE RDR AU COULD HAVE SOME STRIFE BETWEEN THEM SINCE MERCY RUNS WITH HER POSSE AND COULD POSSIBLY END UP HITTING A TARGET THAT HE PLANNED TO OR OR OR OMG THE POSSIBILITIES RORY OMFG THERE ARE JUST SO FUCKING MANY and i just can’t wait to experience them all with you and your interpretation of niko because it’s just so fucking good and they’re such a good couple and have such an amazing dynamic that have them both behaving in ways that sometimes are predictable but in others leave me reeling for days like ‘holy shit that actually fucking happened??’ and THAT, my friend, is the sign of a good writing partner. and that is exactly what you are to me, amongst many, many other things. <3 i love you so very much and while i know you’ve had a rough go of it lately, i wish you all the best with it, know that i’m here for you if you should need me for ABSOLUTELY anything you might need (whether it’s to talk/vent, write you silly drabbles, or draw you things), and know that you’ll always, always, ALWAYS have my support through whatever you’re going through. though part of me knows that you know that you don’t need it because you’re so fucking strong and capable of absolutely anything that you put your mind do.

i love you, boo. never forget that. please.

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty.